CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris in the media

2017-01-26T13:32:14Z

IwegalBadnik: Milo was mistaken about this; figured I'd note it.

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait.]]
{{see also|Sonic the Hedgehog#References to Chris}}

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Whether it be [[Chris and television|television]], newspapers, magazines or, of course, [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===
{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===
{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===[[Shoujo Beat]]===
{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25-year-old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], Chris and Barb were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/rummage-sale-goes-all-year/article_8364fd1b-b1cf-5902-91f9-d05a19a0453d.html</ref>.

{{quotebox|The line began forming outside the door around 2 p.m., three hours before the SPCA's new rummage shop in Charlottesville opened for a special sneak preview Friday.

By 4:45, nearly 50 people were waiting in line, while about 30 volunteers inside put the finishing touches in place.

"I've got my eye on the riding mower right there," said Barry Ross as he stood at the head of the line, looking through the window at a red tractor.

And right behind Ross, Christian and Barbara Chandler were waiting to shop. Christian wanted toys and video games, while his mother wanted to look for fabric.}}

===Toucher and Rich===
{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

===Kevin and Bean===
{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and Bean|Kevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

===''Web Soup''===
{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]], only to belatedly realize after he uploaded an entire video about it that shows like ''Web Soup'' are devoted to mocking people like him.

===Save McIntire Park===
{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

===''Slylock Fox''===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]

On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip about comic strips published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

===Opie & Anthony===
{{main|Opie and Anthony}}

On 27 [[May 2009]], ''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]], which was broadcast to 18.5 million units, [[Opie and Anthony|did a commentary segment]] on Chris's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether he's realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcast to low earth orbit.

===''Houston Press''===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of defunct folk punk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys|covers album]] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for autism".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

===''Failosophy'' ===
{{Deletedvideo}}
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Featured pic]]

MTV's show ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]'' mocked Internet idiots like Chris. While the show lasted a mere 3 months due to negative reception, one of his [[Tomgirl]] pics memorably and unsurprisingly showed up in the 4th episode of the show, viewed by almost a million people. Jump to 0:26 for his appearance.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris-Chan on MTV's Failosophy
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Hqy4scnj1EI}}
}}

Chris, unusually, gave a response via [[Facebook]].

{{quotebox| I had no ill will against MTV. I enjoyed the women in "[[Wikipedia:Undressed|Undressed]]"; I like [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]; the [[Dating education|dating game show]] was fun to watch, and to put them way at the bottom, [[Beavis and Butt-head|Beavis and Butt-Head]] were [[Christian Weston Chandler|so stupid, it became crazy-funny]].

I have been the victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying for the past greater than five years. I get that whatever gets onto the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] is near impossible to remove.

And now I find that among the shit I was trolled of, this ONE photograph, which was originally taken for a WOMAN years ago, gets compared with a literal meat-head and a plush-head, and is made available on iTunes for two dollars!

From the one woman's words, Jamie Lee... I don't know what is worse, that she would not date me, or that she would put me in jail over a freaking couch. Lee, My Once Good Name was actually Jailed, because of the SET UPS those Anonymous, LULZy, Shit-Faced TROLLS. [[Chris and reality|At least I was more clean, sexy and gung-ho than either of the ugly, grimy freak shows I was compared with.]]

If I did not have a very good day beforehand today, I would seriously be [[Chris and the Law|calling my Attorney]] on your damn show's ass.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], after 950,000 people saw him on ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]''.}}

To this day, Chris has not followed up on this threat of legal action. The episode with Chris in it also remains available on iTunes.

===Local TV Broadcast===
{{main|Destruction of Chris's House}}
A local TV broadcast gave a brief report on the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

===''New York'' Magazine===
On 19 [[July 2016]], [[Wikipedia:New York (magazine)|''New York'' magazine]] featured an article on its website, [http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/07/kiwi-farms-the-webs-biggest-community-of-stalkers.html "Kiwi Farms, the Web's Biggest Community of Stalkers"]. The article was meant as an attack on [[CWCki Forums|Kiwi Farms]], inaccurately describing it as a vague group across [[4chan|mult]][[/cwc/|iple]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|web]][[Twitter|sites]] instead a single forum community. However, in describing the site's origins and operations, it largely focuses on Chris himself and the "torment" he faced from [[trolls]] during his internet heyday. There is also a mention of [[A-Log]] and his fallout with other Christorians.

The article is notably one of the few pieces of [[White knight|positive press]] Chris has received since his rise to internet fame. In addition to attacking his trolls, the author, Margaret Pless, describes him in sympathetic terms such as "[[Chris and art|artist]], [[Video games|gamer]], and [[Sonichu (comic)|creative type]]" and fails to mention [[Chris and anger|his]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|horrific]] [[Chris and race|opinions]], [[Death threats|statements]], [[28 October 2011|or]] [[26 December 2014|actions]]. Pless is also under the impression that Chris is legitimately [[Tomgirl|transgender]], and accordingly refers to him as "Christine" and with female pronouns.

===''Sonic Boom''===
[[File:Mark tapir.jpeg|thumb|250px|Chris finally meets his hero.]]
On 10 [[December 2016]], an episode of ''[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]]'' called "The Biggest Fan" premiered on Cartoon Network. The episode features a character named Mark the Tapir that parodies the ''Sonic'' fanbase. Mark is depicted in the episode as a creepy, obsessive stalker who kidnaps Sonic and forces him to act out fanfiction that he wrote. While the character is likely intended as a general parody, he appears to have been heavily inspired by Chris in particular. He closely resembles pre-tomgirl Chris, and one scene seems to reference the "blue arms" debacle. Mark even orders an [[April 16 Fetish Vids|orange soda]] during one scene, though this is probably an unintentional reference.

Chris [[December 2016 Facebook posts#Sonic Boom parody|acknowledged]] the parody on December 13, 2016. He stated that he saw no resemblance between himself and the Mark character, and that he is "[[Chris and reality|not mental or crazy like that at all]]."

The episode's writers, Doug Liebilch and Bill Freiberger, responded to questions on Twitter about the episode. Liebilch said that [https://twitter.com/DougLieblich/status/808080337859293184 "He's not based on anyone specific. Just an obsessive fan character."] Freiberger also denied that Mark was based on Chris, and unlike Liebilch, he knows who Chris is, saying [https://twitter.com/BillFreiberger/status/809087510156410880 "Mark is 100% NOT based on CWC. He is a general fan type. We've done many blue arm jokes in the series. Not a clue."]

==Major Internet media==
===''Honest Game Trailers''===
Three minutes into the video, Chris is brought up as an example of the horrors of the Sonic fandom, particularly showcasing [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]. Less than a minute later, Sonic is jokingly referred to as Sonichu.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Honest Game Trailers)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TR7r4PlNeOY}}
}}

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Borb|parents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator [[Wikipedia:Harry Partridge|Harry Partridge]] (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8]</ref>

Harry himself has commented on [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]'s upload of the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] song "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]", jokingly stating "I want this played at my funeral."

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===''Atop the Fourth Wall''===
Comic book reviewer Lewis [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|Lovhaug]] (a.k.a. "Linkara") goes on a brief tirade in his 99th video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about ''Sonichu'' on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is called...Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I ''hadn't'' heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever become aware of Sonichu.}}

While he'd previously made the point that he wouldn't review webcomics in general, Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' in particular because he didn't want to acknowledge it further. He describes Chris as a "[[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|creepy stalker]]". Towards the end of the episode, a character tries to pressure Linkara into reviewing ''Sonichu'' before Linkara settles on reviewing a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic for his 100th episode. At the end of the video, he uses "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Do I Creep You Out?" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
{{Infobox/video
|name= =3 - I will end you!
|video= {{#ev:youtube|q2jERPp3Z0w}}
}}

{{quote|Wait a minute, did he just say he recycles his...HOLY SH*bleep*IT! Oh, that is some NASTY sh*bleep*t, oh, oh GOD!|Ray, representing pretty much anybody who saw the video for the first time}}

In an early episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of [[recycling]] his [[navy]]. Though he never gave Chris's name, referring to him rather inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' fan", he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. Jump to 2:09 in the linked video.

===BlackBusterCritic===
Chris has been on the BlackBusterCritic's Sonic Brainfart's videos where BBC highlights the points of Chris' wrong doings. Jamin also has a part two of the series, but it is unknown what happened to it.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SonicBrainFart Christian Weston Chandler Chris chan Part 1 1 2
|video= {{#ev:youtube|jgSweXQcZvY}}
}}

===Something Awful===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Sonic the hog
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pIKTFNTBM_0}}
|subject= Reupload by Owldof Hootler
}}

The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how Sonic cured his autism in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when one talked about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away and the female called it "Sonichu?". While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}
}}

Chris saw the video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|commented]], ''I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.''<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]</ref>

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

===Cracked.com===
[[File:CWccracked.jpg|thumb|200px|#22 on Insane Subcultures.]]
Chris showed up on [[Wikipedia:Cracked.com|Cracked]]'s front page as #22 on 9 [[April 2014]] as part of "25 Insane Subcultures You Won't Believe Actually Exist".<ref>[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_859_25-insane-subcultures-you-wont-believe-actually-exist/]</ref>

===Smosh===
Chris's Sonic Totem statue was featured one Smosh's site, via the 'Smosh Pit' section which mostly contains articles, countdowns and memes. It was listed in the [http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it?_rtu=TFS6IVnISRKfI2Vc%2BgJJHA%2B '22 People Who Tried Crafts On Pinterest and TOTALLY NAILED IT'] article.

===IMDb===
Chris has his own IMDb entry page. To date he only has two credits, both in the "archive footage" category; the aforementioned ''=3'' video, and the later WTFIWWY segment.<ref>[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ IMDb page]</ref>

===Wii U Daily===
The website Wii U Daily has an article on the [[GameStop]] incident that occurred on [[26 December 2014]].<ref>[http://wiiudaily.com/2014/12/man-maces-gamestop-employee-over-sonic-boom/ Man maces GameStop employee over Sonic Boom | Wii U]</ref> Chris eventually found the article, then proceeded to go on a long rambling on Facebook on why the writer should respect him and his terrible ways--even going as far to call the writer a horrible male, despite the writer being ''fe''male.

===Reddit===
There is an entire subreddit on the popular website Reddit entitled "r/cwc", which is predictably all about Chris and his shenanigans. Eventually, however, it was later set to private mode and cannot be viewed unless you are a moderator or approved submitter.

On 23 [[September 2014]], the subreddit r/shittykickstarters linked to Chris's [[Kickstarter]] project for getting Legos.

On 1 [[January 2015]], the Wii U Daily article about the 26 December 2014 incident was linked to another subreddit, r/rage.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/2r0kyh/man_maces_gamestop_employee_over_sonic_boom/ Man maces employee over Sonic Boom : rage]</ref>

On 1 [[September 2016]], a post which promised a new Chris [[saga|story]] every day of the following month was submitted to the r/CringeAnarchy subreddit.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/CringeAnarchy/comments/50q2rb/announcing_chris_history_month/ Announcing Chris History Month! : CringeAnarchy]</ref> The subreddit's background image was replaced accordingly with the [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|classic picture of Chris]] [[creepy stare|staring creepily into the void]].

===SleepyCabin===
On 14 December 2014, Spazkid, creator of ''[[Sonichu the animated series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' described his fascination with Chris, how he began trolling in 2007, and why he ultimately regrets doing it.

{{quote|Chris-Chan is—he’s an enigma which to so many people—they thought he was a troll. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real” because he’s like the most saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him and people are like, “bring it back!” And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE.” It’s like depressing—it’s not the golden age—it’s the depressing age.| Spazkid, rebuking the weens.}}

Interestingly, the SleepyCabin podcast members reveal that [[Harry Partridge]] once contacted Chris about developing a game with him. Apparently, Chris turned Harry down because he thought he wasn’t a talented enough animator. Jump to 1:43:25 in the link.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SleepyCast 11 - [Spooktacular Q&A Spectacular]
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Q6bNWhCEurY}}
}}

===Radio Dead Air===
{{main|WTFIWWY Segment}}

On the 29 December 2014 edition of his ''What the Fuck is Wrong with You?'' podcast, Radio Dead Air (and Channel Awesome) star Nash and his co-star Tara discussed the 26 December 2014 incident. Until this point Nash had shed away from discussing Chris for much the same reason as Linkara, but decided he had to discuss it to the overwhelming volume of attention and e-mail the incident generated, along with the utter insanity displayed by Chris.<ref>[http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ WTFIWWY Live: The Passion of the Chris Chan]</ref>

===Design & Trend===
On 30 December 2014, website Design & Trend also posted an article about the 26 December 2014 incident.<ref>[http://www.designntrend.com/articles/33011/20141230/gamestop-maced-shocking-assault-sonic-fanboy-over-sonics-arms-sonichu-jailed-watch.htm GameStop Employee Maced In Shocking Assault By 'Sonic' Fanboy Over Sonic's Arms: 'Sonichu' Creator Jailed]</ref> The article link has apparently been [[Twitter|tweeted]] 15 times, according to the website.

===ReviewTechUSA===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris Chan Assaults Gamestop Employee Over Sonic Boom
|video= {{#ev:youtube|2zBXTErUpbc}}
}}

On 2 January 2015, ReviewTechUSA made a video about the 26 December 2014 incident.

===The Mysterious Mr. Enter===
Animation reviewer The Mysterious Mr. Enter made a slight nudge at Chris while preparing to rant about the infamous "I Am Autism" commercial from [[wikipedia:Autism Speaks|Autism Speaks]] (one of many reasons why the organization is disliked among the autism community), saying that it "makes autistic people look worse than...I dunno, Chris-Chan does." Jump to 2:15 in the linked video--and by the way, that is a microphone, not a giant Icee cup. He also mentioned [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] near the end of his review of 12-oz. Mouse.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Mr. Enter Speaks About Autism Speaks
|video= {{#ev:youtube|rMPNvcJtIR8}}
}}

===Game Grumps===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Leisure Suit Larry 6: Too Easy - PART 13 - Steam Train
|video= {{#ev:youtube|xbTmGQUWwjM}}
}}

{{quote|Ross: "You'll be like Sonichu- the electric hedgehog Pokémon."
Suzy: "Oh man, my dreams come true..."}}

In an episode of ''Steam Train'', Suzy walks into the Grump Room mid recording to quietly grab a blanket. Ross and Dan draw attention to her anyway, and they warn her they blanket is full of static electricity and it may just make her like Sonichu, to which Suzy is less than enthusiastic about. Jump to 6:00 for the whole conversation.

===SuperPrincessDaisy64===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Boom Shadow
|video= {{#ev:youtube|LtVamUVxMa8}}
}}

Chris appears at 1:13 where the song mocks him for disliking the blarms. Of note is that [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock|Mike Pollock]], the TRUE and HONEST English voice actor for [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Eggman]], has commented on the video and given it his approval, meaning yet another of Chris's heroes is at least tangentially aware of his existence.

===''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Twitter===
On June 10, 2015, a fan asked the official [[Twitter]] account of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (which has been verified and everything) if [[Sonichu]] will be playable in ''[[Sonic Boom]]: Fire & Ice''.<ref>https://archive.is/eWfjQ</ref> Their response?

{{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}

Two later posts also made minor mentions of Sonichu. The first was on March 9, 2016, in which [[Dr. Eggman]] attempts to cancel getting "Big the Cat facts" on his phone by texting his favorite Sonic character, but is told that his favorite Sonic character is Sonichu.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/707622466391117824</ref> The second was April 29, 2016, where "Sonichu" is one possible name on a "What's Your Sonic Name" chart making fun of the "original characters" in the Sonic fandom.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/726090715885756416</ref>

===Crave Online Australia===
[[File:ChrisSonichuSupanova.png|thumb|200px|Cosplayers as Christian and Sonichu at Supanova Sydney in 2015]]
Crave Online, a website showcasing various video coverage from games, films, sports and others topics covered a convention in [[PandaHalo|Australia]] called Supanova in 2015. A duo cosplayed as Chris and Sonichu, making a brief reference to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] rejecting Chris's game proposal.<ref>http://www.craveonline.com.au/entertainment/articles/869761-watch-supanova-pop-culture-expo-2015-sydney-wrap</ref>

===Larry Bundy, Jr.===
Chris made a cameo appearance in the "''Apaches''" episode of ''Films Yanks Can't Wank'', during a mention of [[Jimmy Hill]]. Jump to 1:55 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Films Wanks Can't Wank - Apaches (HD)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|W3JjyoEhCuo}}
}}

===CatalystEXE===
CatalystEXE, most famous for being the voice of Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life, made a drawing of Christian, Rosechu (with a [[china]] for a mouth), a [[pickle]], and Sonic during a livestream. Watch from 46:12-58:21 in the video to see him draw the picture. He also made two comments regarding Christian.
[[File:Cata4.png|thumb|200px|The drawing in question. Reads: "My feet are so hot and sweaty from running around all day! Maybe you can help me cool off!"]]
[[File:Cata.PNG|thumb|200px|His first comment]]
[[File:Cata2.PNG|thumb|200px|His second comment]]
{{Infobox/video
|name= Art
|video= {{#ev:youtube|GCSVSpo6eRk}}
}}

===Drunken Peasants===
Chris appeared on the ''Drunken Peasants'' podcast (starring TJ, also known as [[Thorg|The Amazing Atheist]]) episode 129 on July 10, 2015.

{{Infobox/video
|name= TJ Slaps Stevie - Confederate flag Taken Down in SC - Stupid Ads - DPP #129
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pBC7EMkQzzI}}
}}

===The Jimquisition===
In his review of ''Sonic the Hedgehog 2 3D'' for the 3DS, Jim Sterling gives a list of reasons why the original ''Sonic 2'' was an all-time classic. In this list, Jim mentions that the game is "a great way to meet [[boyfriend-free girl]]s," and also makes reference to the blue arms controversy.<ref>[http://www.thejimquisition.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-2-3d-review/]</ref>

===Your Movie Sucks===
33 seconds into YMS's review of ''Cyberbully'', the infamous picture of Chris wearing Barb's bra and panties is shown when Adam says "You can control what you post." The photo was actually leaked, but the point still stands given that one can control what pictures they take of themselves.

{{Infobox/video
|name= YMS: Cyberbully (Full Review)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|fi8A-GHOo8c}}
}}

===Adam Baldwin's twitter===
On 5 December 2015, actor [[wikipedia:Adam Baldwin|Adam Baldwin]] tweeted an image showing photos of various people who are either opposed or supporitve of GamerGate. At the top of the image on its far left side a picture of Chris can be seen.<ref>[https://archive.is/2oxcX]</ref> The tweet was later on deleted.<ref>[https://twitter.com/adambaldwin/status/673221909681602560]</ref>
===Gawker===
On 5 [[May 2016]], controversial gossip website [[Wikipedia:Gawker|Gawker]] wrote about deleted [[Wikipedia]] articles, including ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.<ref>http://gawker.com/a-tender-loving-sonic-pokemon-crossover-and-more-artic-1774546168</ref>

===Return of Kings===
Chris has an article and is commonly used as an example of an "omega" on the Kings Wiki, the wiki of controversial neomasculinity group Return of Kings.<ref>[http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Christian_Weston_Chandler]</ref><ref>http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Omega</ref>

===Zip Zap===
{{Infobox/video
|name= MANGLENN | DeviantArt Rants #1
|video= {{#ev:youtube|iH3icqBO8Vw}}
}}
German-American ranter Zip Zap made a slight nod to Chris Chan when comparing a pedophile named Manglenn to him, even adding [[I Recycle My Own Semen|"at least [Manglenn] doesn't recycle his own semen... not from what we know"]].

===Milo Yiannopoulos===
On 20 January 2017, prominent editor of Breitbart News, Milo Yiannopoulous, spoke at the University of Washington. The event, called ''Cyberbullying Isn't Real'', contained a segment where Milo comments on how George H.W. Bush, a World War II torpedo bomber pilot and the head of the CIA, was considered a wimp when he ran for president. <ref>Yiannopoulos mistakenly refers to Bush as a fighter pilot in his speech. George H.W. Bush flew a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grumman_TBF_Avenger Grumman TBF Avenger] torpedo bomber.</ref>

{{quote|What will happen when we have the first presidential campaign featuring a genderqueer furry who has videos of himself crying on YouTube because someone insulted his My Little Pony drawings? We know, don't we, what the first social justice warrior president will look like.| Milo Yiannopoulous, exhibiting a photo of Chris}}

A picture of Chris is then featured on the screen to illustrate Milo's point. Although there were no specific allusions to Chris, Milo gives an almost eerily accurate description of Chris's internet infamy—seemingly derived '''solely''' on the photo itself. If only he had mentioned Sonic recolors, and not My Little Pony. Jump to 1:13:02 in the link.

{{Infobox/video
|name= MILO At University Of Washington: Cyberbullying Isn't Real
|video= {{#ev:youtube|ePF78xrzSQY}}
}}

==Death threats against Trump==
On 9 [[November 2016]], Chris made multiple death threats against President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].

Later that day, one of his Twitter posts was featured in an [http://www.infowars.com/hillary-supporters-burn-american-flag-riot-threaten-to-kill-trump-after-losing-election/ article] by Alex Jones's Infowars website. The article was linked to on the [http://archive.is/kyUJh Drudge Report]. [[wikipedia:David Duke|David Duke]], a former member of Louisiana's State Representatives and a white nationalist, [https://twitter.com/DrDavidDuke/status/796474021625860098 tweeted] the article. '''Chris himself [[Twitter#10 November 2016.1|tweeted]] the article on 10 November.'''

Daniel "Keemstar" Keem, host of the drama YouTube account, Drama Alert, tweeted at Chris and alerting the Secret Service. https://mobile.twitter.com/KEEMSTAR/status/796281178030567424

Sky Williams, a YouTube gamer with nearly a million subscribers, [https://twitter.com/SkyWilliams/status/796282670959366144 retweeted] Chris's post and added the comment, "k so this shit isn't okay - can we report this?" OneyNG, another YouTube gamer, also [https://twitter.com/OneyNG/status/796273797984718852 retweeted], saying "Chris Chan always knows what to say." Hundreds of retweets were made by their followers.

Conservative website HillaryDaily.com featured the tweet in an [http://hillarydaily.com/brandon/2016/11/10/radical-left-now-threatening-to-assassinate-donald-trump/ article] on 10 November.

==Video Games==
===McPixel===
On 25 [[June 2012]], the indie game ''McPixel'' featured a homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.

{{Infobox/video
|name= McPixel Extra Ending
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TWHd_10zcaY}}
}}

===Goat Simulator===
[[File:Goat.jpg|thumb|300px|The goat unfortunately named Chris-Chan.]]
The "Goat MMO Simulator" DLC pack adds a simulated MMO mode that parodies games such as World of Warcraft. AI-controlled goats simulate the presence of other players, and their names are drawn randomly from a list of pre-generated names. 'Chris-chan' is one of the names on this list.

===Akinator the Genie===
"Chris-Chan Sonichu", "Sonichu", "Rosechu", "Magi-Chan", and "Bob Chandler" are guessable characters in the online/iOS game ''Akinator the Genie''.

===OK K.O.! Lakewood Plaza Turbo===
An iOS/Android beat-em-up based on a Cartoon Network pilot, ''OK K.O.!'' introduces certain characters with a short biography screen (including a quote). The one for Carol (the player character's mother) has her saying "Go out and defend our Plaza--to the extreme!" (clearly echoing the cover to [[Sonichu 0]]).<ref>http://imgur.com/wvpZ8uW</ref>

Worth noting is that ''OK K.O.!'' is intended for general audiences.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Chris in the media

2017-01-26T13:20:00Z

IwegalBadnik: Bush 41 was a Grumman TBF pilot.

[[Image:The truth about cwc.jpg|thumb|right|Just you wait.]]
{{see also|Sonic the Hedgehog#References to Chris}}

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Whether it be [[Chris and television|television]], newspapers, magazines or, of course, [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], if Chris can find some way to get his 15 minutes of fame, he'll do it.

==Traditional media==
===''Richmond Times-Dispatch''===
{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''[[Wikipedia:Richmond Times-Dispatch|Richmond Times-Dispatch]]'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to "Christian". This was Chris's first known appearance in media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in [[1994]] chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===
{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In [[1999]], Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 years old at the time, and he was playing [[Pokémon]] cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===''Nintendo Power'' Magazine===
{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how he used a [[Sprung|video game]] to cure his [[Noviophobia|fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's ''Animal Crossing'' video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

===[[Shoujo Beat]]===
{{main|Shoujo Beat}}

Chris sent a letter to an [[anime]]-themed magazine that got published in its November [[2005]] issue. In it, he complains about [[JERKS]] taking away all the pretty [[boyfriend-free girl]]s and leaving him to be a [[Virgin With Rage|lonesome virgin]]. A response was published in the March [[2006]] issue, in which the writer instructs Chris on the error of his ways.

===Daily Progress===
[[Image:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|thumb|Admit it, if you've never heard of Chris before, would you think that they were actually referring to a 25-year-old man here?]]

On 14 [[July 2007]], Chris and Barb were mentioned in the ''Daily Progress'' section of their local newspaper<ref>http://www.dailyprogress.com/news/rummage-sale-goes-all-year/article_8364fd1b-b1cf-5902-91f9-d05a19a0453d.html</ref>.

{{quotebox|The line began forming outside the door around 2 p.m., three hours before the SPCA's new rummage shop in Charlottesville opened for a special sneak preview Friday.

By 4:45, nearly 50 people were waiting in line, while about 30 volunteers inside put the finishing touches in place.

"I've got my eye on the riding mower right there," said Barry Ross as he stood at the head of the line, looking through the window at a red tractor.

And right behind Ross, Christian and Barbara Chandler were waiting to shop. Christian wanted toys and video games, while his mother wanted to look for fabric.}}

===Toucher and Rich===
{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio podcast in [[Wikipedia:Boston|Boston]]. The whole media furor was sparked by the "[[I Got A Fish]]" video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].<ref>[http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145]</ref>

===Kevin and Bean===
{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts [[Wikipedia:Kevin and Bean|Kevin and Bean]]. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

===''Web Soup''===
{{main|For G4s Web Soup}}

Once again, Chris's "[[I Got A Fish]]" video was briefly featured, this time on [[Wikipedia:G4 (TV channel)|G4]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Web Soup|Web Soup]]'' on 2 [[July 2009]]. While the segment lasted less than 30 seconds, Chris initially felt honored and used the opportunity to try to score some [[china]], only to belatedly realize after he uploaded an entire video about it that shows like ''Web Soup'' are devoted to mocking people like him.

===Save McIntire Park===
{{main|McIntire Park}}

In [[July 2009]], Chris briefly appears in the background of a news segment about saving McIntire Park, [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Later, Chris receives recognition at a council meeting for drawing a large sign.

===''Slylock Fox''===
[[File:SonichuSlylockFox25Sep2011.JPG|thumb|115px|"Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9"]]

On 25 September 2011, ''[[Wikipedia:Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids|Slylock Fox & Comics for Kids]]'', a comic strip about comic strips published by King Features Syndicate, featured a black-and-white image<ref>[http://content.comicskingdom.net/Slylock/Slylock.20110925.gif]</ref> of [[Sonichu]] in the "Your Drawing" panel. The illustration, which ran in thousands of papers nationwide, was accompanied by text, which read: "Today's terrific artist is Christian Weston Chandler, Age 9." The strip's author, Bob Weber Jr., admitted on the Comics Curmudgeon blog<ref>[http://joshreads.com/?p=10951#comment-1014594]</ref> that he fully believed that the "artist" was 9 (rather than 29) when he selected the drawing out of the dozens that are submitted to the strip every week.

===Opie & Anthony===
{{main|Opie and Anthony}}

On 27 [[May 2009]], ''[[Wikipedia:Opie and Anthony|The Opie & Anthony Show]]'' on [[Wikipedia:Sirius XM Radio|Sirius XM Radio]], which was broadcast to 18.5 million units, [[Opie and Anthony|did a commentary segment]] on Chris's video response to drinking his own [[cum]] and shitting his adult diapers. It is unknown whether he's realized that his [[autistic]] antics have technically been broadcast to low earth orbit.

===''Houston Press''===
On 12 [[July 2012]], the ''[[Wikipedia:Houston Press|Houston Press]]'' published an article on Rex Nabours III of defunct folk punk band Guwange and his attempts to raise money for sick children. Nabours was quoted in the article saying "I did a Christian Weston Chandler (the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' guy) [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys|covers album]] earlier this year with the intent of giving any money I made off of it to Autism-related charities because the dude is basically [[Song for Jackie.MOV|blackface]] for autism".<ref>http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2012/07/rex_nabours_extra_life.php</ref>

===''Failosophy'' ===
{{Deletedvideo}}
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Featured pic]]

MTV's show ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]'' mocked Internet idiots like Chris. While the show lasted a mere 3 months due to negative reception, one of his [[Tomgirl]] pics memorably and unsurprisingly showed up in the 4th episode of the show, viewed by almost a million people. Jump to 0:26 for his appearance.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris-Chan on MTV's Failosophy
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Hqy4scnj1EI}}
}}

Chris, unusually, gave a response via [[Facebook]].

{{quotebox| I had no ill will against MTV. I enjoyed the women in "[[Wikipedia:Undressed|Undressed]]"; I like [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]]; the [[Dating education|dating game show]] was fun to watch, and to put them way at the bottom, [[Beavis and Butt-head|Beavis and Butt-Head]] were [[Christian Weston Chandler|so stupid, it became crazy-funny]].

I have been the victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying for the past greater than five years. I get that whatever gets onto the [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] is near impossible to remove.

And now I find that among the shit I was trolled of, this ONE photograph, which was originally taken for a WOMAN years ago, gets compared with a literal meat-head and a plush-head, and is made available on iTunes for two dollars!

From the one woman's words, Jamie Lee... I don't know what is worse, that she would not date me, or that she would put me in jail over a freaking couch. Lee, My Once Good Name was actually Jailed, because of the SET UPS those Anonymous, LULZy, Shit-Faced TROLLS. [[Chris and reality|At least I was more clean, sexy and gung-ho than either of the ugly, grimy freak shows I was compared with.]]

If I did not have a very good day beforehand today, I would seriously be [[Chris and the Law|calling my Attorney]] on your damn show's ass.|[[Christian Weston Chandler]], after 950,000 people saw him on ''[[Wikipedia:Failosophy|Failosophy]]''.}}

To this day, Chris has not followed up on this threat of legal action. The episode with Chris in it also remains available on iTunes.

===Local TV Broadcast===
{{main|Destruction of Chris's House}}
A local TV broadcast gave a brief report on the [[Destruction of Chris's House]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Fire at 14 Branchland Court
| video = {{#ev:youtube|qkYnMRh26Oo}}
}}

===''New York'' Magazine===
On 19 [[July 2016]], [[Wikipedia:New York (magazine)|''New York'' magazine]] featured an article on its website, [http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/07/kiwi-farms-the-webs-biggest-community-of-stalkers.html "Kiwi Farms, the Web's Biggest Community of Stalkers"]. The article was meant as an attack on [[CWCki Forums|Kiwi Farms]], inaccurately describing it as a vague group across [[4chan|mult]][[/cwc/|iple]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|web]][[Twitter|sites]] instead a single forum community. However, in describing the site's origins and operations, it largely focuses on Chris himself and the "torment" he faced from [[trolls]] during his internet heyday. There is also a mention of [[A-Log]] and his fallout with other Christorians.

The article is notably one of the few pieces of [[White knight|positive press]] Chris has received since his rise to internet fame. In addition to attacking his trolls, the author, Margaret Pless, describes him in sympathetic terms such as "[[Chris and art|artist]], [[Video games|gamer]], and [[Sonichu (comic)|creative type]]" and fails to mention [[Chris and anger|his]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|horrific]] [[Chris and race|opinions]], [[Death threats|statements]], [[28 October 2011|or]] [[26 December 2014|actions]]. Pless is also under the impression that Chris is legitimately [[Tomgirl|transgender]], and accordingly refers to him as "Christine" and with female pronouns.

===''Sonic Boom''===
[[File:Mark tapir.jpeg|thumb|250px|Chris finally meets his hero.]]
On 10 [[December 2016]], an episode of ''[[Sonic Boom Protests|Sonic Boom]]'' called "The Biggest Fan" premiered on Cartoon Network. The episode features a character named Mark the Tapir that parodies the ''Sonic'' fanbase. Mark is depicted in the episode as a creepy, obsessive stalker who kidnaps Sonic and forces him to act out fanfiction that he wrote. While the character is likely intended as a general parody, he appears to have been heavily inspired by Chris in particular. He closely resembles pre-tomgirl Chris, and one scene seems to reference the "blue arms" debacle. Mark even orders an [[April 16 Fetish Vids|orange soda]] during one scene, though this is probably an unintentional reference.

Chris [[December 2016 Facebook posts#Sonic Boom parody|acknowledged]] the parody on December 13, 2016. He stated that he saw no resemblance between himself and the Mark character, and that he is "[[Chris and reality|not mental or crazy like that at all]]."

The episode's writers, Doug Liebilch and Bill Freiberger, responded to questions on Twitter about the episode. Liebilch said that [https://twitter.com/DougLieblich/status/808080337859293184 "He's not based on anyone specific. Just an obsessive fan character."] Freiberger also denied that Mark was based on Chris, and unlike Liebilch, he knows who Chris is, saying [https://twitter.com/BillFreiberger/status/809087510156410880 "Mark is 100% NOT based on CWC. He is a general fan type. We've done many blue arm jokes in the series. Not a clue."]

==Major Internet media==
===''Honest Game Trailers''===
Three minutes into the video, Chris is brought up as an example of the horrors of the Sonic fandom, particularly showcasing [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]. Less than a minute later, Sonic is jokingly referred to as Sonichu.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Honest Game Trailers)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TR7r4PlNeOY}}
}}

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [[Wikipedia:Fark|Fark]] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].<ref>[http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked]</ref>

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on [[the internet]] has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about [[the Internet]] made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Borb|parents]], sponges off the [[Monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Harry Partridge===
[[Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|thumb|125px|"Actually, it is excellent; I would not change a thing about it." -Chris, [[Mailbag 9]]]]
Animator [[Wikipedia:Harry Partridge|Harry Partridge]] (best known for his [[parody|slanderous mockery]] [[Wikipedia:Saturday Morning Watchmen|Saturday Morning ''Watchmen'']]) has made several references to Chris and Sonichu, the first of which being a drawing of [[Rosechu]] uploaded to Newgrounds.<ref>[http://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/happyharry/rosechu ]</ref> An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "Nicolas Cage Wants Cake", a musical remix of a scene from ''[[Family Guy|The Family Man]]''.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA]</ref> In the animated short "Skyrim", [[Son-Chu]]'s "SONICHU" license plate can be seen in the background during the first scene.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9eGtyqz4gY]</ref> In the Followup, "Song of Skyrim", Chris makes a brief cameo in the crowd <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8]</ref>

Harry himself has commented on [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]]'s upload of the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] song "[[I'll Never Leave You, Ivy]]", jokingly stating "I want this played at my funeral."

When interviewing Harry Partridge on Animation Aficionados, the hosts asked Harry about Chris's cameos in some of his videos (from 0:19:43). The discussion the hosts have with Harry about Chris is quite lengthy, during which Mr. Partridge admits that he is "obsessed with him":<ref>[http://animationaficionados.com/2011/08/23/episode-35-harry-partridge/]</ref>

{{Quote|1=I really am obsessed with him... I check [[CWCki|''Sonichu.com'']], the wiki about Chris-chan and his weird life, if not daily, every couple of hours... there must be more written about Chris-chan than George Washington. |2=Harry Partridge|3=}}

===''Atop the Fourth Wall''===
Comic book reviewer Lewis [[Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs|Lovhaug]] (a.k.a. "Linkara") goes on a brief tirade in his 99th video "Top 15 Things I Will Never Review" about ''Sonichu'' on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.<ref>[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html]</ref>

{{Infobox/video
|name= Linkara Discusses Sonichu & Chris-Chan
|video= {{#ev:youtube|mDfRk0qt5HQ}}
}}

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is called...Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I ''hadn't'' heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara, speaking for everyone who has ever become aware of Sonichu.}}

While he'd previously made the point that he wouldn't review webcomics in general, Linkara didn't want to review ''Sonichu'' in particular because he didn't want to acknowledge it further. He describes Chris as a "[[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|creepy stalker]]". Towards the end of the episode, a character tries to pressure Linkara into reviewing ''Sonichu'' before Linkara settles on reviewing a ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' comic for his 100th episode. At the end of the video, he uses "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Do I Creep You Out?" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
{{Infobox/video
|name= =3 - I will end you!
|video= {{#ev:youtube|q2jERPp3Z0w}}
}}

{{quote|Wait a minute, did he just say he recycles his...HOLY SH*bleep*IT! Oh, that is some NASTY sh*bleep*t, oh, oh GOD!|Ray, representing pretty much anybody who saw the video for the first time}}

In an early episode of ''=3'' (pronounced "equals three"), vlogger Ray William Johnson made fun of Chris's habit of [[recycling]] his [[navy]]. Though he never gave Chris's name, referring to him rather inaccurately as "your average ''[[Captain's Log|Star Trek]]'' fan", he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. Jump to 2:09 in the linked video.

===BlackBusterCritic===
Chris has been on the BlackBusterCritic's Sonic Brainfart's videos where BBC highlights the points of Chris' wrong doings. Jamin also has a part two of the series, but it is unknown what happened to it.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SonicBrainFart Christian Weston Chandler Chris chan Part 1 1 2
|video= {{#ev:youtube|jgSweXQcZvY}}
}}

===Something Awful===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Sonic the hog
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pIKTFNTBM_0}}
|subject= Reupload by Owldof Hootler
}}

The last episode of [[Wikipedia:Something Awful|Something Awful]]'s “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php]</ref>

Also, the first episode of The Flash Tub's "Gaming Guyz", while not mentioning Chris outright, directly references his [[medallion]], and how Sonic cured his autism in Part 12.<ref>[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/gaming-guys-cartoon.php]</ref>

===SpliceToday.com===
An article<ref>[http://www.splicetoday.com/digital/come-back-christian-weston-chandler]</ref> posted on 6 January, 2011 on this multimedia blog decried Chris's latest exile from the Internet. It sums up Chris's history and behavior while sharing a personal account of the author taking steps to improve his life in order to distance himself from the similarities he saw between Chris and himself.

{{quote|It’s a little sad, and a little beautiful, and somewhere out there, Christian Weston Chandler is heating up his [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|Hungry Man]] lunch in a supermarket microwave (because his [[kitchen]] microwave has been buried under old Christmas decorations) and playing his [[Nintendo]] DS, and maybe ogling a salesgirl from across the produce section before he approaches her awkwardly and uses a pickup line that he misread from the Internet, and I wish I could continue to see it all.|SpliceToday.com, Come Back, Christian Weston Chandler}}

===Nicole Richie's twitter===
On 5 [[December 2009]] American socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Richie|Nicole Richie]] posted on [[Twitter]]<ref>[http://twitpic.com/s7pfi]</ref> an image of Chris in his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s underwear and humorously presented it as a picture of [[wikipedia:Benji Madden|Benji Madden]], brother of her then boyfriend (now husband) [[Wikipedia:Joel Madden|Joel Madden]].

===Sega Acknowledges Sonichu===
On 13 [[January 2012]], two [[Sega]] of America employees corpsed in one of their "Free Stuff Friday" videos when one talked about a Super [[Sonic]] plush they were giving away and the female called it "Sonichu?". While this is not [[TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu [[Jimmy Hill|merchandise]], it shows that at least some Sega employees are aware of Sonichu's existence. Jump to 3:50 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SEGA's Free Stuff Friday - January 13, 2012
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Cnoq4-Mhpgc}}
}}

Chris saw the video and [[List of Christian's comments on Youtube|commented]], ''I do not find that commentary funny at all. In fact, I feel pissed off to be ridiculed soo lightly.''<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube#SEGA's Free Stuff Friday-January 13, 2012]]</ref>

===Maddox===
Internet comedy writer [[wikipedia:Maddox (writer)|George "Maddox" Ouzounian]], best-known for his website [http://maddox.xmission.com The Best Page in the Universe], critiqued Chris's [[:File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|first drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog]] on one of his side-projects, [http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com I Am Better Than Your Kids], as one of many children's drawings to help promote his novel of the same name. Like most other works on the site, Maddox gave the drawing an F. <ref>[http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=117]</ref>

===Cvillepedia===
On a wiki dedicated to Charlottesville culture and "celebrities," he has what can only be described as a tongue-in-cheek article.<ref>http://www.cvillepedia.org/mediawiki/index.php/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref>

===Cracked.com===
[[File:CWccracked.jpg|thumb|200px|#22 on Insane Subcultures.]]
Chris showed up on [[Wikipedia:Cracked.com|Cracked]]'s front page as #22 on 9 [[April 2014]] as part of "25 Insane Subcultures You Won't Believe Actually Exist".<ref>[http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_859_25-insane-subcultures-you-wont-believe-actually-exist/]</ref>

===Smosh===
Chris's Sonic Totem statue was featured one Smosh's site, via the 'Smosh Pit' section which mostly contains articles, countdowns and memes. It was listed in the [http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/people-who-tried-crafts-pinterest-and-totally-nailed-it?_rtu=TFS6IVnISRKfI2Vc%2BgJJHA%2B '22 People Who Tried Crafts On Pinterest and TOTALLY NAILED IT'] article.

===IMDb===
Chris has his own IMDb entry page. To date he only has two credits, both in the "archive footage" category; the aforementioned ''=3'' video, and the later WTFIWWY segment.<ref>[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ IMDb page]</ref>

===Wii U Daily===
The website Wii U Daily has an article on the [[GameStop]] incident that occurred on [[26 December 2014]].<ref>[http://wiiudaily.com/2014/12/man-maces-gamestop-employee-over-sonic-boom/ Man maces GameStop employee over Sonic Boom | Wii U]</ref> Chris eventually found the article, then proceeded to go on a long rambling on Facebook on why the writer should respect him and his terrible ways--even going as far to call the writer a horrible male, despite the writer being ''fe''male.

===Reddit===
There is an entire subreddit on the popular website Reddit entitled "r/cwc", which is predictably all about Chris and his shenanigans. Eventually, however, it was later set to private mode and cannot be viewed unless you are a moderator or approved submitter.

On 23 [[September 2014]], the subreddit r/shittykickstarters linked to Chris's [[Kickstarter]] project for getting Legos.

On 1 [[January 2015]], the Wii U Daily article about the 26 December 2014 incident was linked to another subreddit, r/rage.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/rage/comments/2r0kyh/man_maces_gamestop_employee_over_sonic_boom/ Man maces employee over Sonic Boom : rage]</ref>

On 1 [[September 2016]], a post which promised a new Chris [[saga|story]] every day of the following month was submitted to the r/CringeAnarchy subreddit.<ref>[http://www.reddit.com/r/CringeAnarchy/comments/50q2rb/announcing_chris_history_month/ Announcing Chris History Month! : CringeAnarchy]</ref> The subreddit's background image was replaced accordingly with the [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|classic picture of Chris]] [[creepy stare|staring creepily into the void]].

===SleepyCabin===
On 14 December 2014, Spazkid, creator of ''[[Sonichu the animated series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' described his fascination with Chris, how he began trolling in 2007, and why he ultimately regrets doing it.

{{quote|Chris-Chan is—he’s an enigma which to so many people—they thought he was a troll. Because they’re like, “there’s no way this motherfucker is real” because he’s like the most saddest human being ever. And it’s SAD because it’s like… I spent four years of my life fucking with him and people are like, “bring it back!” And I’m like, “NO! LET IT DIE.” It’s like depressing—it’s not the golden age—it’s the depressing age.| Spazkid, rebuking the weens.}}

Interestingly, the SleepyCabin podcast members reveal that [[Harry Partridge]] once contacted Chris about developing a game with him. Apparently, Chris turned Harry down because he thought he wasn’t a talented enough animator. Jump to 1:43:25 in the link.

{{Infobox/video
|name= SleepyCast 11 - [Spooktacular Q&A Spectacular]
|video= {{#ev:youtube|Q6bNWhCEurY}}
}}

===Radio Dead Air===
{{main|WTFIWWY Segment}}

On the 29 December 2014 edition of his ''What the Fuck is Wrong with You?'' podcast, Radio Dead Air (and Channel Awesome) star Nash and his co-star Tara discussed the 26 December 2014 incident. Until this point Nash had shed away from discussing Chris for much the same reason as Linkara, but decided he had to discuss it to the overwhelming volume of attention and e-mail the incident generated, along with the utter insanity displayed by Chris.<ref>[http://channelawesome.com/wtfiwwy-live-the-passion-of-the-chris-chan/ WTFIWWY Live: The Passion of the Chris Chan]</ref>

===Design & Trend===
On 30 December 2014, website Design & Trend also posted an article about the 26 December 2014 incident.<ref>[http://www.designntrend.com/articles/33011/20141230/gamestop-maced-shocking-assault-sonic-fanboy-over-sonics-arms-sonichu-jailed-watch.htm GameStop Employee Maced In Shocking Assault By 'Sonic' Fanboy Over Sonic's Arms: 'Sonichu' Creator Jailed]</ref> The article link has apparently been [[Twitter|tweeted]] 15 times, according to the website.

===ReviewTechUSA===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Chris Chan Assaults Gamestop Employee Over Sonic Boom
|video= {{#ev:youtube|2zBXTErUpbc}}
}}

On 2 January 2015, ReviewTechUSA made a video about the 26 December 2014 incident.

===The Mysterious Mr. Enter===
Animation reviewer The Mysterious Mr. Enter made a slight nudge at Chris while preparing to rant about the infamous "I Am Autism" commercial from [[wikipedia:Autism Speaks|Autism Speaks]] (one of many reasons why the organization is disliked among the autism community), saying that it "makes autistic people look worse than...I dunno, Chris-Chan does." Jump to 2:15 in the linked video--and by the way, that is a microphone, not a giant Icee cup. He also mentioned [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] near the end of his review of 12-oz. Mouse.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Mr. Enter Speaks About Autism Speaks
|video= {{#ev:youtube|rMPNvcJtIR8}}
}}

===Game Grumps===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Leisure Suit Larry 6: Too Easy - PART 13 - Steam Train
|video= {{#ev:youtube|xbTmGQUWwjM}}
}}

{{quote|Ross: "You'll be like Sonichu- the electric hedgehog Pokémon."
Suzy: "Oh man, my dreams come true..."}}

In an episode of ''Steam Train'', Suzy walks into the Grump Room mid recording to quietly grab a blanket. Ross and Dan draw attention to her anyway, and they warn her they blanket is full of static electricity and it may just make her like Sonichu, to which Suzy is less than enthusiastic about. Jump to 6:00 for the whole conversation.

===SuperPrincessDaisy64===
{{Infobox/video
|name= Boom Shadow
|video= {{#ev:youtube|LtVamUVxMa8}}
}}

Chris appears at 1:13 where the song mocks him for disliking the blarms. Of note is that [[Wikipedia:Mike Pollock|Mike Pollock]], the TRUE and HONEST English voice actor for [[Doctor Robotnik|Dr. Eggman]], has commented on the video and given it his approval, meaning yet another of Chris's heroes is at least tangentially aware of his existence.

===''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Twitter===
On June 10, 2015, a fan asked the official [[Twitter]] account of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (which has been verified and everything) if [[Sonichu]] will be playable in ''[[Sonic Boom]]: Fire & Ice''.<ref>https://archive.is/eWfjQ</ref> Their response?

{{quote|Maybe, but only if we give Sonichu blue arms, three scarves, and ultimately just redesign him as Big the Cat.}}

Two later posts also made minor mentions of Sonichu. The first was on March 9, 2016, in which [[Dr. Eggman]] attempts to cancel getting "Big the Cat facts" on his phone by texting his favorite Sonic character, but is told that his favorite Sonic character is Sonichu.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/707622466391117824</ref> The second was April 29, 2016, where "Sonichu" is one possible name on a "What's Your Sonic Name" chart making fun of the "original characters" in the Sonic fandom.<ref>https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/726090715885756416</ref>

===Crave Online Australia===
[[File:ChrisSonichuSupanova.png|thumb|200px|Cosplayers as Christian and Sonichu at Supanova Sydney in 2015]]
Crave Online, a website showcasing various video coverage from games, films, sports and others topics covered a convention in [[PandaHalo|Australia]] called Supanova in 2015. A duo cosplayed as Chris and Sonichu, making a brief reference to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] rejecting Chris's game proposal.<ref>http://www.craveonline.com.au/entertainment/articles/869761-watch-supanova-pop-culture-expo-2015-sydney-wrap</ref>

===Larry Bundy, Jr.===
Chris made a cameo appearance in the "''Apaches''" episode of ''Films Yanks Can't Wank'', during a mention of [[Jimmy Hill]]. Jump to 1:55 in the linked video.

{{Infobox/video
|name= Films Wanks Can't Wank - Apaches (HD)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|W3JjyoEhCuo}}
}}

===CatalystEXE===
CatalystEXE, most famous for being the voice of Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life, made a drawing of Christian, Rosechu (with a [[china]] for a mouth), a [[pickle]], and Sonic during a livestream. Watch from 46:12-58:21 in the video to see him draw the picture. He also made two comments regarding Christian.
[[File:Cata4.png|thumb|200px|The drawing in question. Reads: "My feet are so hot and sweaty from running around all day! Maybe you can help me cool off!"]]
[[File:Cata.PNG|thumb|200px|His first comment]]
[[File:Cata2.PNG|thumb|200px|His second comment]]
{{Infobox/video
|name= Art
|video= {{#ev:youtube|GCSVSpo6eRk}}
}}

===Drunken Peasants===
Chris appeared on the ''Drunken Peasants'' podcast (starring TJ, also known as [[Thorg|The Amazing Atheist]]) episode 129 on July 10, 2015.

{{Infobox/video
|name= TJ Slaps Stevie - Confederate flag Taken Down in SC - Stupid Ads - DPP #129
|video= {{#ev:youtube|pBC7EMkQzzI}}
}}

===The Jimquisition===
In his review of ''Sonic the Hedgehog 2 3D'' for the 3DS, Jim Sterling gives a list of reasons why the original ''Sonic 2'' was an all-time classic. In this list, Jim mentions that the game is "a great way to meet [[boyfriend-free girl]]s," and also makes reference to the blue arms controversy.<ref>[http://www.thejimquisition.com/sonic-the-hedgehog-2-3d-review/]</ref>

===Your Movie Sucks===
33 seconds into YMS's review of ''Cyberbully'', the infamous picture of Chris wearing Barb's bra and panties is shown when Adam says "You can control what you post." The photo was actually leaked, but the point still stands given that one can control what pictures they take of themselves.

{{Infobox/video
|name= YMS: Cyberbully (Full Review)
|video= {{#ev:youtube|fi8A-GHOo8c}}
}}

===Adam Baldwin's twitter===
On 5 December 2015, actor [[wikipedia:Adam Baldwin|Adam Baldwin]] tweeted an image showing photos of various people who are either opposed or supporitve of GamerGate. At the top of the image on its far left side a picture of Chris can be seen.<ref>[https://archive.is/2oxcX]</ref> The tweet was later on deleted.<ref>[https://twitter.com/adambaldwin/status/673221909681602560]</ref>
===Gawker===
On 5 [[May 2016]], controversial gossip website [[Wikipedia:Gawker|Gawker]] wrote about deleted [[Wikipedia]] articles, including ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''.<ref>http://gawker.com/a-tender-loving-sonic-pokemon-crossover-and-more-artic-1774546168</ref>

===Return of Kings===
Chris has an article and is commonly used as an example of an "omega" on the Kings Wiki, the wiki of controversial neomasculinity group Return of Kings.<ref>[http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Christian_Weston_Chandler]</ref><ref>http://en.kingswiki.com/wiki/Omega</ref>

===Zip Zap===
{{Infobox/video
|name= MANGLENN | DeviantArt Rants #1
|video= {{#ev:youtube|iH3icqBO8Vw}}
}}
German-American ranter Zip Zap made a slight nod to Chris Chan when comparing a pedophile named Manglenn to him, even adding [[I Recycle My Own Semen|"at least [Manglenn] doesn't recycle his own semen... not from what we know"]].

===Milo Yiannopoulos===
On 20 January 2017, prominent editor of Breitbart News, Milo Yiannopoulous, spoke at the University of Washington. The event, called ''Cyberbullying Isn't Real'', contained a segment where Milo comments on how George H.W. Bush, a World War II torpedo bomber pilot and the head of the CIA, was considered a wimp when he ran for president.

{{quote|What will happen when we have the first presidential campaign featuring a genderqueer furry who has videos of himself crying on YouTube because someone insulted his My Little Pony drawings? We know, don't we, what the first social justice warrior president will look like.| Milo Yiannopoulous, exhibiting a photo of Chris}}

A picture of Chris is then featured on the screen to illustrate Milo's point. Although there were no specific allusions to Chris, Milo gives an almost eerily accurate description of Chris's internet infamy—seemingly derived '''solely''' on the photo itself. If only he had mentioned Sonic recolors, and not My Little Pony. Jump to 1:13:02 in the link.

{{Infobox/video
|name= MILO At University Of Washington: Cyberbullying Isn't Real
|video= {{#ev:youtube|ePF78xrzSQY}}
}}

==Death threats against Trump==
On 9 [[November 2016]], Chris made multiple death threats against President-elect [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]].

Later that day, one of his Twitter posts was featured in an [http://www.infowars.com/hillary-supporters-burn-american-flag-riot-threaten-to-kill-trump-after-losing-election/ article] by Alex Jones's Infowars website. The article was linked to on the [http://archive.is/kyUJh Drudge Report]. [[wikipedia:David Duke|David Duke]], a former member of Louisiana's State Representatives and a white nationalist, [https://twitter.com/DrDavidDuke/status/796474021625860098 tweeted] the article. '''Chris himself [[Twitter#10 November 2016.1|tweeted]] the article on 10 November.'''

Daniel "Keemstar" Keem, host of the drama YouTube account, Drama Alert, tweeted at Chris and alerting the Secret Service. https://mobile.twitter.com/KEEMSTAR/status/796281178030567424

Sky Williams, a YouTube gamer with nearly a million subscribers, [https://twitter.com/SkyWilliams/status/796282670959366144 retweeted] Chris's post and added the comment, "k so this shit isn't okay - can we report this?" OneyNG, another YouTube gamer, also [https://twitter.com/OneyNG/status/796273797984718852 retweeted], saying "Chris Chan always knows what to say." Hundreds of retweets were made by their followers.

Conservative website HillaryDaily.com featured the tweet in an [http://hillarydaily.com/brandon/2016/11/10/radical-left-now-threatening-to-assassinate-donald-trump/ article] on 10 November.

==Video Games==
===McPixel===
On 25 [[June 2012]], the indie game ''McPixel'' featured a homage to [[Chris humps his PS3|Chris' sexcapades with inanimate objects]] by having a special ending sequence depicting the titular character dry-humping a PS3 in the same stance Chris was.

{{Infobox/video
|name= McPixel Extra Ending
|video= {{#ev:youtube|TWHd_10zcaY}}
}}

===Goat Simulator===
[[File:Goat.jpg|thumb|300px|The goat unfortunately named Chris-Chan.]]
The "Goat MMO Simulator" DLC pack adds a simulated MMO mode that parodies games such as World of Warcraft. AI-controlled goats simulate the presence of other players, and their names are drawn randomly from a list of pre-generated names. 'Chris-chan' is one of the names on this list.

===Akinator the Genie===
"Chris-Chan Sonichu", "Sonichu", "Rosechu", "Magi-Chan", and "Bob Chandler" are guessable characters in the online/iOS game ''Akinator the Genie''.

===OK K.O.! Lakewood Plaza Turbo===
An iOS/Android beat-em-up based on a Cartoon Network pilot, ''OK K.O.!'' introduces certain characters with a short biography screen (including a quote). The one for Carol (the player character's mother) has her saying "Go out and defend our Plaza--to the extreme!" (clearly echoing the cover to [[Sonichu 0]]).<ref>http://imgur.com/wvpZ8uW</ref>

Worth noting is that ''OK K.O.!'' is intended for general audiences.

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Mass debating

2016-03-26T02:09:28Z

IwegalBadnik: This seems a bit out there. Nudity upon loading a page probably isn't the greatest thing for the CWCki.

{{Honest}}
{{Quote|I've actually done it to myself so many times, even with a hunk of- even with [[Kimmi|an inflatable plastic woman]] ''[...]'' I've done it so much, it's like, you know, I can't even feel that much of a rush from it, doing it to myself like that ''[...]'' It's like, you know, my body got used to it|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>}}

'''Mass debating''' is the way Chris [[Chris and English|pronounces]] "masturbating".

==Discovery==
[[Image:ILikeToPlayGamesToo.jpg|thumb|[[Family Guy|That turn you on?]] Now, imagine Chris fapping to this.]]

Based on a PSN chat with [[PandaHalo]] and [[Chris_Chat_27_December_2008#Transcript|an IRC chat]], Chris did not discover masturbation until age 16:

{{quote|actually figured it out for myself, in my room one night after having unlocked the parental lock; I found the pool scene in "I Like to Play Games Too", and I just figured it out for myself.}}

When he first started mass debating, he did so by lying face down on his bed and rubbing his [[duck]] with a washcloth.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|BlueSpike PSN Chat III]]</ref> In early 2009 he would sit on the bathroom washbasin during the act.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/> In [[Ivy Q&A#Comics|Ivy's Q&A]] it was mentioned that Chris has used his pillow, folded in half, as a masturbation tool.

He has informed [[Barbera Chandler|his mother]] of his masturbation habit.<ref name="BlueSpike PSN Chat 3"/>

==Frequency==
{{quote|And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris, using mass debating.<ref>[https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Chris's MySpace blog, via ED.]</ref>}}

While it is assumed by many that Chris has a voracious sex drive and spends everyday whacking it, the [[TRUE and HONEST|truth]] is quite different. Rather, Chris has admitted to whacking off at least twice per week (based on chats{{cite}}, it seems that he limits it to twice). Possible factors for this include the fact that he has a bent [[duck]] which would most likely make masturbation painful, and he probably struggles to get/maintain an erection owing to his [[obesity]] and general poor [[health]]. The sex audio with [[Julie]] seems to indicate that it takes Chris around 20 minutes to orgasm, which means that masturbation for Chris must be physically exhausting. Chris also believes that he has a limited sperm count which may have him limit his sexual activity. Also, Chris was at one point prescribed the antidepressant paroxetine (Paxil), which (from what was heard from him) caused some sort of sexual side effect, perhaps slowing down his ability to orgasm.<ref>[[Chris and psychology]]</ref>

Chris also told [[Kacey]] that he has masturbated so much that it no longer brings him much pleasure. However, this was a misguided ploy for pity sex.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Masturbating and squirtin']]
*[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]

==Sources==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}
[[category:CWC-isms]]

Sonichu's Edge

2016-03-06T01:30:03Z

IwegalBadnik: Replacing broken video link

[[File:Mirror's Edge.jpg|thumb|left|The truth about the video title.]]
[[File:ParkayTwentyFifteen.jpg|thumb|Chris wishes he were eating this instead.]]
[[File:Sonichu's Edge.png|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]

"'''Sonichu's Edge'''" (officially "'''Sonichu's Edge.MP4'''") is a video uploaded on 3 [[December 2009]], in which [[Chris]] goes "[[Father Call|jogging]]". The title is a not-too-subtle [[parody]] of the 3D platformer ''[[Wikipedia:Mirror's Edge|Mirror's Edge]]''.

Based on the accompanying [[3 December 2009|Captain's Log]], he made this to show that he is "pumped up for [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|pushing Sonichu out]] into merchandise." This video proves that Chris has no idea what "jogging" is. He is sprinting (for him) in this video, obviously missing the point that jogging is a slow, easy run. Chris inserts many obvious jump cuts (at 1:30, 1:58, 2:25, 3:00, 3:22 and 3:42) where he's run out of breath and needs a break due to how [[Chris and health#Exercise|out of shape he is]].

Chris calls his running "[[Wikipedia:Parkay|parkay]]", confusing the acrobatic sport [[Wikipedia:Parkour|parkour]] with a brand of squeezable margarine, as well as "light jogging" with "parkour" in general.

One can only imagine what the citizens of [[Charlottesville]] must have thought as a fat, sweaty [[slow-in-the-mind]] went puffing by at a little-over-walking pace with a camera dangling from his obese neck.

An e-mail in [[Mailbag 16#Parkay analysis|Mailbag 16]] pointed out that Chris ran about 579 yards (529 meters) in 3 and a half minutes, at a very stilted jogging pace of 2.8 m/s (6 mph / 10 km/h), nowhere near the 5 miles (8 km) or 30 minutes he claimed it would be in his call with Kacey's Father. Chris seems unable to estimate measurements of length and time.

Chris has [[Mailbag 29#In which Chris lies about how much he can run|declined to record another running video]], blaming the battery in his camera.

==Video==
{{Protip|Do not watch this video if you are prone to motion sickness. We mean it.}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aRMfEeIl6c4}}
| stardate = 3 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[3 December 2009]]
| next = [[Holiday Greetings]]
}}
{{quote|There may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my breath. Of course that's what you expect, even from the [[Sonic|best runner]].}}

=== Transcript ===
[''brandishes [[Amnyfest Ring]]''] Hello there, [[fans]]! It's Christian Chandler here, live at the downtown [[mall]], where for the [[Sonichu]] franchise and city of [[CWCville]], and everything like that, I'm gonna do [[Chris and English|a parkay]] from this point [''camera spins around to show some sidewalks''] all the way down to the gara--parking garage [''camera spins back to Chris''] where, at the end, we will get a nice view of the tent-style theater that's down there where events are held. And for this viewing, the camera will be hung around my neck right about here. [''gestures to the [[Sonichu medallion]]''] To get--see what I see from that point of view. And, also, uh, there may be one or two pauses where I have to catch my--my breath. [[Obesity|Of course that's what you expect]], [[Chris and reality|even from the best runner]].

[''Jump cut. Camera is now apparently hanging around Chris's neck. Chris's hand comes into frame for a second for him to flash the Amnyfest Ring.'']

Alright, here we go!

'''0:42-1:20''' Chris begins running, relatively slowly. His path seems to be pretty erratic. Breathing can be faintly heard.

'''1:21-1:30''' Chris enters a populated area. Though the jerky camera makes it difficult to see, several people seem to stop and stare at him. At 1:28, Chris's heavy breathing becomes audible.

'''1:31-1:44''' First jump cut. For those keeping score, Chris stops to rest after forty-eight seconds of jogging. He continues through the shopping center, his hands occasionally coming into frame.

'''1:45-1:46''' Chris goes in between some trees.

'''1:47-1:58''' Chris's breathing starts becoming heavy again.

'''1:59-2:15''' Second jump cut. Chris runs past a [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|happy couple]], and then runs down some stairs.

'''2:16-2:25''' Chris passes by a large [[Christmas]] tree. Around 2:20, his movement begins to slow down considerably.

'''2:26-2:33''' Third jump cut.

'''2:34-2:41''' Relaxing [[guitar]] music fades in and out as Chris passes a group of buskers playing "[[wikipedia:House of the Rising Sun|House of the Rising Sun]]".

'''2:42-2:54''' Chris continues onwards.

'''2:55-3:00''' Chris runs past a small bus.

'''3:01-3:16''' Fourth jump cut. Chris runs through some decorative trees.

'''3:17-3:21''' Chris rounds a corner, and approaches an open door.

'''3:22-3:32''' Fifth jump cut. Chris is now inside a building. He trudges up some stairs, clearly walking.

'''3:33-3:42''' Chris passes someone going in the opposite direction. He continues upwards.

'''3:43-3:50''' Sixth jump cut. Chris apparently reaches the 4th floor and exits a door into the blinding sunlight.

'''3:51-4:10''' Chris is now on the top level of a parking structure. He runs across the parking area. Around 4:05 his breathing becomes very heavy. At 4:10, he reaches his destination. The camera shows a large tented area on the ground far below.

See? Amphitheater. [''Camera spins around back to Chris, who flashes the peace sign''] Thank you for your [[trolling|continued support]]!

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu's Edge
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eGKCSS-QUkE}}
| stardate = 4 December 2009
| maker = IBAClydeCash
| subject = Sonichu's Edge
| type = (VG) Parody
| info = Replaces Faith with [[Chris]].
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Doodle- Parkay
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RuqRS3KVnQs}}
| stardate = 11 December 2009
| maker = TheOfficialCWC
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| type = Speedpaint
}}

==See also==
*[[3 December 2009]]

==External links==
*[http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=104235379233340359048.000479de54a1731a2b512 Chris's Route as detailed by Google Maps]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N1TJP1cxmo The trailer for what Chris is failing to imitate]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[3 December 2009]]|nextlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-03]]
[[Category:CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-03]]

Chris and remorse

2015-02-23T23:48:50Z

IwegalBadnik: Domestic?

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Quote|Please, just forget about me in total; please, disband all online groups and individual hatreds against me; please, remove everything about me off of the Internet, your minds, and your hearts.|[[Chris]], after making a public apology on [[Facebook]].}}

Every so often, one of [[Chris]]'s [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|less]] [[Twin Falling Towers|flattering]] deeds catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris tries to come off as emotional, often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's likely that Chris has a difficult time trying to understand what other people feel. Time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]]. He seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. When he is expected to show remorse, it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PlayStation 3]].

==Concept of wrongdoing==

Developing an understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children don't take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do. They base their actions on whether they are punished or rewarded, before they eventually internalize a consistent value system and learn to police their own behavior. Chris seems to be stuck in the former, childlike state. If something makes him feel bad, or if experience tells him he'll get in trouble for doing something, it must be wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] proscribes or how this will affect others, simply do not rank.

An excellent example would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[Homos|gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point did he even consider Megan's feelings. When she [[Megan emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Chris and sex|porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, reasoning that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|TL;DR: I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he won't get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful.

Every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words "I'm sorry". We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]] ... [[Chris and reality|so that she'll pay him]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris's apologies spring from this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I am Alive|one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia advertisements|certain ads removed from the CWCipedia]], but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla Rosechu]], in accordance with [[Evan|her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9 February 2010|his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not TRUE and HONEST. We had all suspected as much, but it's nice to get a confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris and hypocrisy#"I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates would be overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apologetic apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine. In that very same issue in fact, Chris at one point sheds a tear after sealing up the populated [[4-cent garbage.com]] building and destroying it. You know, because faking remorse with crocodile tears ''totally'' justifies mass murder.

Chris's insincerity can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and she cut off all ties with him, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he had only wanted her for [[sex]]. When his apology failed to work as planned, Chris became very angry and spiteful, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].

Another came from his apology note on his [[Facebook]] discovered in [[October 2012]]. In it, he seemingly came to the realization that he had massively messed up, that about as much [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laughs]] had been gotten from him as possible and that he was sorry for it all happening. Surprisingly, it was a very well written, unselfish apology that would seem somewhat convincing - right until he demanded that all instances of trolling and [[CWCki|websites]] [[CWCki Forums|dedicated]] [[/cwc/|to]] [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|him]] be stopped and removed, and there was absolutely no mention made of him making any attempt to straighten up. All he wanted was all the bad stuff about him removed so he can feel better about himself. Had he not included that, people might have actually taken him seriously, but, [[nudes|as]] [[28 October 2011|usual]], he had to fuck himself over.
{{-}}

==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his intentions, we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was deeply disturbed by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] came from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a [[United States of America|good American]] (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref> than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Slow-in-the-mind|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He was far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments might have caused.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is a stupid, evil [[JERKS|JERK]] whose sole mission in life is to cockblock him because he is [[Autism|special]], and furthermore out of jealousy for his [[Chris and his Ego|many]] [[Chris and reality|"successes"]] in life. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Love Quest|heroic quest]].

This "Everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gave him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieved his aim]]. Once again, Chris saw no wrong in this. Since Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, anything he did in response was entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, nearly always has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, of his apology messages are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not by any true sense of guilt. His retraction of an apology is often redundant because nobody believed he was truly remorseful in the first place, and just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his Ego|save face]] or to gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on 2 March 2010. However, only a month later, on 8 April, he was talking to [[Jackie_E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls hacked his PSN accounts, Chris made [[a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Dragon Ball Z|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he supposedly practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have used the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in the first place.

Considering that he [[Surfshack Tito (video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't Mess With Me|threatening]], and [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason. The best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strong. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he really wanted to credit her in one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels. Chris asked Wallflower if she thought it would be safe to credit Wallflower by her FF.net penname. Wallflower agreed, as she was unable to find any obvious trails leading from her FF.net account to her Facebook account. Unfortunately for both of them, trolls still managed to find a link between the two accounts within 24 hours of Chris dropping her penname. After she was linked to the site and promptly horrified by how much of her personal information had been compromised, she politely requested that the article be reworked with her privacy in mind. As much of the information in the original Wallflower article had very little to do with Chris, the request was deemed reasonable and the admins of the CWCki complied.

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|she broke off all contact with Chris]]. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#What had happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#What had happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (The Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). However, [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie's_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

In the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)#The Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. From Chris's perspective, the whole incident was Wallflower's fault for having a Facebook page for trolls to discover in the first place. Chris repeatedly insisted that ''Wallflower'' was the one who needed to apologize to him (as she had okayed the use of her screen name), despite the fact that putting her screen name in the level was his idea in the first place. More than a year after the debacle, Chris [[Calling Out|made it obvious]] that he believes that the person who should apologize to Wallflower is Surfshack Tito rather than himself.

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[List of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to "forget" important, critical details of his life, typically memories that either make him either look or feel bad. When [[Jackie E-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie E-mails 2#Chris "forgot" he cheated on Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgendered women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about one's past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan Emails, 2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[Chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*Chris made an [[A near public apology|apology video]] after [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|releasing a series of videos insulting various YouTubers.]] Aside from sounding half-assed and insincere about it, Chris's motivation for doing so was clear: his PSN account was being held hostage by the last YouTuber he had insulted.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homos|homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9 February 2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[April 16 Fetish Vids|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|apologized for his actions]], supposedly to a [[Ching Chong|young girl]] who had found the footage and was scarred by it. But he structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that she shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions]], Chris apologized for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin Falling Towers|mocking the worst act of terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I Love You Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02 March 2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie E-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".
*On 21 [[October 2012]], Chris posted a public [[Facebook]] status [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|apologizing]] for past misdeeds. He immediately asked that all online groups and "individual hatreds" be disbanded.
* On 17 [[December 2014]], [[Apology Letters‎|three letters]] were leaked on the CWCki Forums that Chris wrote to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], [[Wal-Mart]], and [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Naturally, in each one, he shoehorns in references to [[troll]]s causing [[stress]].

==Conclusion==

To Chris, remorse is nothing more than a formality that he must pantomime in order to get what he wants. If you expect that he would ever be sincerely sorry for anything he does without an ulterior motive behind it, you are expecting way too much of him.

== References ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

Don'tPintheOop

2014-07-02T16:47:53Z

IwegalBadnik: You can hear the "t" beneath the babble.

'''"Don'tPintheOop"''' (''[[Random Access Humor|Don't P in the Oop]]'') is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris gives a shout out to Gulliver, a relative of [[Jackie]]. He then discusses the matter of pooping himself and the resulting [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty underwear]]. It is discovered in this video that he has actually crapped himself in public on multiple occasions, not just at his house. Finally, he announces the upcoming execution of [[Clyde Cash]], and how crapping his pants isn't as bad as having [[Racist|"orange faces"]].

Chris also mentions his [[computer]] being "[[PS3|busted]]" and that he is [[Monthly Tugboat|"going to get a new one."]] He has also replaced the white tape that used to hold his [[pedoglasses]] together with a homemade Crayola Fuckin' Model Magic nosepiece.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Don'tPintheOop
| video = {{#ev:youtube|U-ddcMAc0gc}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}, {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[FullHouse]]
| next = [[ShowerClean]]
}}

{{quote|So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench.}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris is wearing blue taped glasses and holding a red clipboard.]''

Hello, this is a video dedicated to a…

''[Chris looks at the clipboard.]''

…Gulliver. It's a shout-out to him, a relative of a girl, uh, of the woman I'm seeing. You know, it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants. Hey, I know I've had my accidents! They're mostly [[stress]]-induced!

''[Chris pauses and appears to hold in a burp.]''

And specifically of a recent event I had a near— I had a near inci— near accident. I just really felt it bad in my gut. And I'll tell you what caused it. It was the risk of losing my— losin' my girlfriend here because of, uh, things, cause of minor indifferences, especially a bein' able— me being unable to get on the PC because it's been busted. Lookin' ta get a new one. And I am going to get a new one.

But anyway, almost did, but fortun'ly, I was able to make it home in time. But there was another time where I actually— where I actually did happen to be where I pooped my pants in public. It was just stressed-sisduced an' it could be held, it just came out quick. I mean, it was a very uncomfortable ride home that day. But I managed to hold my— ta' keep my cool and cleaned myself out after I got back home. So not really a big deal. I mean, the only way that people might notice is possibly is from a weird way you're walking or otherwise the stench. But yeah, don't think of us as different, 's just something we gotta take care of ourselves because we can't right now. But we will take care of it when we get home or when we get to the nearest restroom.

And you know if you're tall— if you're tall enough to get over, just squat over a commode in the men's room then wipe yourself, maybe wipe your underpants, too. I have done that before myself. I actually done that in a public restroom. I mean, yeah, if you can't make it home in time and you can't make it into a restroom either, you can just squat and clean yourself. That's the best thing to go for there.

Hey, I mean at least our faces are not fuckin' orange…

''[Chris performs a dramatic glasses removal.]''

…like a certain Cashey Clyde that I know.

''[Chris puts his glasses back on.]''

Stay tuned for an [[DivineTrial|execution of him in a future video!]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[FullHouse]]|nextlink=[[ShowerClean1]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-30]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2014-05-07T04:24:17Z

IwegalBadnik:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 32)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)<ref>[[Match.com#Profile text]]</ref><ref>[[The Hook Cafe#Characteristics]]</ref>
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], thirty-two-year-old, former (allegedly) [[virgin with rage|virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]]. Christian also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]]

Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda.]]]]

Chris is a timid, [[autism|autistic]], man with [[chris and his ego| delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as "you must [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you cannot loiter in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "you should use the washroom if you think you may [[dirty crapped briefs|soil yourself]]." Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] he meets online.

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; Christian appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Christian's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[Liquid Chris|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash| newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues and adventures.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (was temporary. Permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to his heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]]]]

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.

[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting what few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] by committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health and pined often about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in the past would end up betraying him - he found out that they had only tolerated him out of pity and were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person.

In reality the "frustration" that Chris now feels is actually the direct results of his past behaviours coming full circle in his life; whether he realizes it or not. The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including his actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris. Only for him to ignore their advice completely. With growing disregard for societal norms and even [[Chris and the Law|the law]], it leaves one to wonder if there will come a day when Chris does something ''truly'' reprehensible resulting in him being put away from functioning society for good.

{{clear}}

==Featured fan video==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

28 October 2011

2014-05-04T04:51:02Z

IwegalBadnik: This seems appropriate...

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Chris]] and [[Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris has been banned since [[2008]]. Chris took a photo of the store and then two of owner [[Michael Snyder]] in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris and Barbara allegedly each hit Michael once with their car. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Chris and Barb assaulted them during the arrest.

Chris and Barb were charged with a Class 5 Felony, which entails "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, and [...] a fine of not more than $2,500."<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's.

The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Wikipedia:Rob_Bell_(Virginia_politician)|Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates. On 10 July 2012, a plea bargain was reached. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and psychology|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. This occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

===Chris's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, perhaps [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* 10 July 2012 - 2:00pm - Arraignment.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filled a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris' case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/podomesticviolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

No further information on the civil suit has emerged since then, and with the Chandlers having been ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills as part of their plea bargain, it seems likely that the suit will not proceed any further.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|taunted Snyder for his]] [[obesity]] and claimed that he [[Pedofork|molests children]].

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated 'After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black. He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mistubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Rob Bell said that despite this, Chris and Barb maintain their version of the events as accurate. Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies.<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref>

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email?==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. While the validity of the email is disputed, [[Surfshack Tito]] confirmed on [[/cwc/]] that the events of October 28 are basically the same as that described in the email.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]], we had just stopped at the [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the [[McDonalds]] there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burning it down]] [[Death threats|being the alternative]]).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, [[Honor roll|perhaps it was another Mike]]. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my [[3DS]], activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For [[the Internet]]". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was Stonewall Jackson. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; [[Chris and reality|Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.]]

And more shit happened. Mom called [[Jerkop|911]] on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a [[Decepti-Clones|cop car]]. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of [[Chris and money|$324]] Rx lens [[glasses]] were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her [[Obesity|Blood Pressure]] was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]], then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; [[Muscle bra|took off my shirt]] due to the heat; pretended to be a [[Wikipedia:Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair|genie with light brown hair]] for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to [[Jesus]] for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. [[Rocky]] was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the [[Cwcki]] that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on [[YouTube]], where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "[[Pokemon]] Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my [[PS3]] to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. [[Chris and reality|With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.]]

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Chris's second photograph of Michael Snyder
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
File:ChrisCourtCase.JPG|Updated court info on 5 [[September 2013]].
</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<gallery>
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[Chris and the Law]]

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Kick the Autistic

2014-03-29T09:59:00Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar/spelling

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Game of the Year, all years.]]

'''Kick the [[Autism|Autistic]]''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
[[File:Kta.PNG|thumb|And on [[HEXBox]]!]]
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days."

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
[[List of places that have banned Chris|Permaban]] Chris from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for [[Chris and anger|no]] [[Chris and his Ego|good]] [[death threats|reason]] other than [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|sheer hatred for autistic people]]. Patiently wait until he tries to come back to his rightful place, and then [[28 October 2011#Email?|rub your legs on his car's bumper in order to fake injury]]. Sue Chris for damages and bribe [[July 2012 Facebook posts#Court|whoever needs to be bribed]]; once this is done, you'll be rolling in the dough.

===[[God]] Style===
Refuse to bail out the one and only Autistic Hero and center of your universe, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA whenever he hits parked cars, [[28 October 2011|trespasses on private property]], or [[Walmart|vandalizes store displays]]. Grant prayers to people with concerns that aren't half as important as winning glorious victory over the Trolls/Cyber-Bullies. Finally, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|refuse to step in when your Autistic Hero accidentally sets fire to his home]].

===[[Gal-Pal]] Style===

Reveal that [[Kellie_Andes|you]] were [[Gal-Pal#Betrayal|just friends with him out of pity]]. Then, when Chris [[Chris and Anger|throws a tantrum]] about it, turn that pity into laughter by linking to one of [[For_J-R's_Eyes_Only.MOV|his videos]] for all of his former gal-pals to see just how far he's fallen since they've last seen him.

===Literally===

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

Chris has never experienced any substantial physical pain in his entire life that we know of. No broken bones or bare knuckle fights. His parents never raised a hand against him. There is also no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. There is an anecdotal story about the time that [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell and skinned his knee, vowing never to roller skate again.

Because Chris has never been through the "school of hard knocks" ([[Charlottesville_Fashion_Square#Chris_vs._Fashion_Square|even running away if a confrontation seems imminent]],) he seems pretty confident that he [[Mary Lee Walsh|can]] [[Surfshack Tito|tell]] [[Clyde Cash|any]][[Michael Snyder|one]] [[Death threats|any]][[Chris and race|thing]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|he]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|wants]] without fear of consequence. However, with his latest skirmish on the [[28 October 2011]], it remained to be seen if things would have remained this way if he was sentenced to jail, where prisoners don't take too kindly to self-entitled manchildren who throw [[Chris and anger|temper tantrums.]] Fortunately for him, he evaded this fate.

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on 21 January 2008, Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", [[Chris and hypocrisy|then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize.]]"''
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!] (Offline)

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2014-03-07T06:46:07Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

{{Honest}}
{{quote|You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants.|[[Chris]], [[Don'tPintheOop]]}}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is trollish shorthand used in reference to Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]]. Coined by Chris himself in an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]] from January 2009, it has quickly become a popular catchphrase.

In short, Chris unwittingly shits himself often. Even after encouragement from his doctor and from his mother, Chris would refuse to wear [[butt garments]] because, according to the [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]], he felt they were for babies. He had only one or two episodes where he wore the butt garments; though they were only worn because Ivy told him it was his punishment for cheating on her with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Based on his own comments on the subject and those of people who've managed to get close to him (particularly his now-deceased sweetheart [[Ivy]]), [[stress]] tends to inspire these episodes, but at other times he appears to be too lazy, careless, or distracted to bother making his way to a toilet.

==Chris on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
Chris first alluded to difficulty controlling his bowels during a December 2008 [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]] with [[PandaHalo]], where he admitted that he sometimes mistook a bowel movement for gas and shat himself as a consequence. He said it did not happen often, and replied with an emphatic "NO" when Panda suggested that he wear adult diapers to deal with the problem.

Ground zero for the CRAPPED BRIEFS phenomenon was 20 January 2009, when Chris made a bizarre slip while arguing with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]] on IRC. When prodded by the trolls concerning his alleged fondness for wearing women's underwear, Chris angrily retorted, "I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS." On further prodding from the trolls, he went on to reveal that most of the time he didn't even realize he'd crapped his briefs until well after the fact.

Later, during the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] episode, Chris shat himself in mid-conversation while sparring with [[BlueSpike]]. Shortly before "Max" forced Chris to shove his [[medallion]] up his ass, he asked if Chris had lost control. Chris first shouted "MAYBE!", and then gave up and admitted "...Yes."

[[Image:Dirtycrappedbriefgoboom.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's typical reaction when "something happens downstairs" in public.]]

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and claimed that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a [[Mailbag]] correspondent who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it.<ref>[[Mailbag 7]]</ref> Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats between them and that they might have a "psychic link."

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he loses control, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons why not to accept a ride from Chris.

In a [[July 2011]] post on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, Chris revealed that he now only wears panties and refuses to wear briefs. <ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315]</ref> Ironically, Chris's desperation to prove he does not wear women's underwear is what led him to reveal his "problem" to the world. No word on whether or not Chris has had to deal with DIRTY, CRAPPED PANTIES yet.

==Ivy on CRAPPED BRIEFS==
[[File:Ship my bed.jpg|thumb|Normal behavior for Chris.]]
[[Ivy]]'s postmortem [[Ivy Q&A|account of her time with Chris]] sheds some more light on Chris's incontinence issues. Chris has had trouble controlling his bowels ever since he was a child, she says, but the problem became more acute after he finished school, especially whenever he got stressed-out.

In the spring of 2009, the subject had become a source of serious contention between Chris and [[Barbara]]. At the time, Chris would frequently toss his dirty underwear, still fully loaded with excrement, in the family's communal laundry basket. Eventually they brought up the problem with their doctor, who advised Chris to make changes to his diet and exercise routine, and possibly wear protective garments.

Chris didn't think much of these suggestions, especially the notion that he should wear "diapers" — "[[My Little Pony|That's]] [[Lego|for]] [[Toys|babies]]!" was his comment. At first, Barbara tried to force the issue by refusing to do his laundry, in the hope that Chris would either wear the diapers or actually man up and start washing his own clothes. Ultimately, Chris did neither; a short while later, a troll pretending to be Clyde Cash called Chris and made a series of [[death threats]], making him genuinely afraid for his life and leading to him dropping a massive load in his sheets while asleep that night. After that, Barb relented and started washing Chris's laundry again.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> As of now, thankfully for us, we have yet to see the after-effects of the DIRTY, CRAPPED BED.

Additionally, given the filthy condition of the Chandler house, this is also a straight-up guarantee that Chris, Barbara, Bob (when he was alive), and nearly anyone who enters his house enters a dung cave of no escape: having to deal with Chris' shit leaves you coated in it, both metaphorically and literally. [http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/washing-machines-loaded-bacteria-dirty-clothes/story?id=10751420]

It's a particularly Chris-like sort of irony that he finds the suggestion of wearing diapers an insult to his maturity level, but sees no implications regarding that same maturity in the fact that he routinely shits his pants.

== Transcript ==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
 21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
 21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
 21:14 <@clydeC> [[Tomgirl|IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL]]
 21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
 21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
 21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
 21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
 21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
 21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
 21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
 21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
 21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
 '''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
 21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
 21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> [[Ego#Surrendering Information|WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION]]
 21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
 21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
 21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
 21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
* [[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation.]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

February 2014

2014-03-02T23:18:19Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

'''February''' was the second month of '''[[2014]]'''. Not much happened, likely due to the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|incident]] which left the Chandlers homeless [[January 2014|the previous month]]. Chris [[Chris's birthday|turned 32]] this month, and [[Hello, my sweety baby|two]] [[Message for John Kyle|videos]] were leaked on his birthday. Both appear to have been recorded sometime in the summer of [[2013]]. One of these videos sheds a bit more light on Chris and Barb's relationship with the rest of their family, and it is revealed that they were not invited to (or even informed of) [[Cole Smithey|Cole]]'s wedding, and that the rest of [[Minor Family Members|Barb's family]] hates her and Chris since the death of [[Aunt Corrina|Corrina]].

==Events==
* 3 February - [[Cole Smithey]] writes the article, [[Saturday Night Special]], on his blog. In it, he recounts an incident from his childhood in which [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] almost shot him in the head by accident, while thwarting an attempted break-in.
* 7 February - Chris goes to see ''The [[Lego]] Movie'' with a $7.50 off coupon and posts about it on [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#The_LEGO_Movie|Facebook]]. He remarks that the animation was well-done and that the family element near the end was "very touching and sweet."
* 14 February - Chris posts about Tabitha St. Germaine on [[February_2014_Facebook_Posts#Tabitha_St._Germaine|Facebook]].
*24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 32]]. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

Template:Quote of the now

2013-12-27T12:33:23Z

IwegalBadnik: Deleting misplaced bracket

{{quote|The staff at the [[CWCki]] wishes its users a Merry [[Christmas]], Happy Holidays, and a Joyous [[2014|New Year]]
|The CWCki staff}}
<noinclude>

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It consists simply of a recent or topical quote from [[Chris]], or in rare cases non-Chris people. When editing the quote, ensure it is as accurate as possible, the exact source is referenced, and use links appropriately. '''Be sure to cite where this quote comes from, include a link if applicable.''' Also, this is a wiki - please wikify (i.e. add links to other articles) when possible. Finally, don't add commentary to citation part - let Chris's words do the talking.}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

14 Branchland Court

2013-12-15T03:02:00Z

IwegalBadnik:

[[File:14bc1.jpg|thumb|The house in 2012.]]
[[Image:Chandlerhousegooglemaps.jpg|thumb|Aerial shot of the house.]]
<center>{{#ev:youtube|meAO487S0zM}}</center>
{{quote|No burglar would ever want anything in this house.|Chris, [[Mailbag 44#No burglar would steal Chris's stuff|Mailbag 44]]}}

'''14 Branchland Court''', [[Ruckersville, VA]] is the lair of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], his mother [[Barbara]], [[Christopher's name change|Christopher's ghost]], [[Clover and Snoopy]] and the surviving [[Chandler cats]]. It is a white (now faded to ivory) two-story house trimmed in pink (faded from a dark red) with three bedrooms on the outskirts of Ruckersville. The property is near the intersection of Branchland Court and Westwood Drive, facing northwest. The house is just past the local trailer park, and nestled in a lower middle class suburban community. Built in [[Pre-1980#1970s|1977]], and with no major work done since [[1986]]<ref>[[:File:14BranchlandCourt.png]]</ref>, the house shows its age with its tacky fake shutters and vinyl siding. As a result of its dated look, in addition to the decaying gardens and overgrown yard, it has done a number on local property values.

As of [[March 2009]], all space not used for walking or sleeping appeared to be packed full of junk. However, in earlier pictures (those of [[Chris]]'s twentieth birthday [2002], for instance), the house seemed reasonably tidy. In his [[Tour of Christian's House|video tour]], Chris also keeps referring to the fact that "things got cluttered," suggesting that the house has grown fuller and fuller in the past decade. "Clutter" is, of course, a horrible understatement. The house is packed with crap. Its former living room is unusable, with junk filling the entire space and reaching within two feet of the ceiling. Similarly, other rooms are full of junk, but rather than solid blocks of shit, there are small crevices with chairs, TVs, and other furnishings.

[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] revealed that Chris's parents were aware of the house's condition (what with the junk being both a health hazard and a fire hazard), and fear that [[Tour of Christian's House|Chris's video tours]] may elicit the attention of the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] resulting in their home being condemned. Trolls made several calls to the health department in hopes of spurring such a process into action, but their efforts proved fruitless.

Chris [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|claimed]] to have put forth some effort towards cleaning up the house in early 2010, but the "back-breaking" tasks he describes amount to simple maintenance, like vacuuming and scrubbing the floors. He talks about this as if he is making great progress in fixing the disaster area that is 14 Branchland Court, but his efforts appear to be just enough to keep him from [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]] on a regular basis. His mother has threatened to kick him out of the house if he tries to throw away her worthless junk.<ref>[[Kacey Call 10]]</ref>

Chris also claimed that Bob used to use a computer, but Barbara bought an enormous amount of crap from Goodwill, blocking off the computer. Apparently, Bob was too lazy or unwilling to provoke a fight, as he just stopped using the computer.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat #8]]</ref>

In [[Rocky Shoemaker call|a phone call]] to [[Rocky Shoemaker]], it was revealed that 14 Branchland Court was infested, and that the parasitic infestation caused [[Bob]] to be "covered in bug bites" before his death from heart disease.

==History==
Chris lived at 14 Branchland Court from his birth (24 February [[1982]]) until his family moved him to the Richmond area, some distance away, in order to escape the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] Public School system's attempts to pull him out of mainstream schools. After the move, which took place in fall [[1992]], Chris and his father lived in the Richmond suburbs while his mother held the fort in Ruckersville so she could continue working for the local electric power authority until retirement. Barbara joined them after retiring a few years later.

The Chandlers moved back to the Ruckersville house in [[2000]] after Chris graduated [[high school]]. In [[100 2178|a video]] released in [[May 2010]], Chris claims that his family tried and failed to sell the house at some point, and would have stayed in the Richmond suburbs if they had been able to find a buyer. (He attributes the house's failure to sell to a conspiracy between local realtors and the Greene County school system; but, as this article will explain, it probably went unsold for more practical reasons.)

==The Tour==
{{main|Tour of Chris's House}}
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|right|Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.]]
{{quote|if Clyde thought my room is a mess, he should see the rest of my house; my family has a LOT of clutter from small things in boxes to furniture. [...] You don't need to feel surprised from the mess of my family, my mother got her things one at a time while "it was a bargain".|Chris to [[Julie]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 5]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}
In two videos uploaded on 27 [[March 2009]], Chris provided a tour of his house and the property that it's on. Like his own room, Chris's entire house is a disaster area. Several rooms are so full of junk that Chris cannot enter them.

What follows is a brief description of the rooms and other areas of 14 Branchland Court.

===First floor===
[[File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|250px|Bob in the family room.]]
In the north corner is what Christian describes as "the [[music]] room", which is primarily the domain of [[Barbara Chandler]], who frequently sleeps there. A small bathroom is directly in front of the stairs leading up to the front door. On the other end of a short hallway is the utility room, in which the family keeps a refrigerator in addition to the usual washer and dryer. The family room (possibly in the west corner) had been claimed by the late [[Bob Chandler]], who apparently slept there as well. If Chris's parents ever had, or used, dedicated bedrooms in the house, they have yet to be filmed.

===Second floor===
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5 crop 2.jpg|thumb|right|[[Barbara]] moving Chris's earthly possessions from [[Richmond]] back to the living room in April [[2000]]. The junk was already amassing.]]

[[Chris's room]] is in the north corner of the second floor. Across the hallway, near the east corner, is a filthy bathroom, which apparently has not been cleaned in years, as implied by the layers of dark brown/green mold growing in the shower and the peeling of the veneer on the cabinetry. The kitchen and dining area are apparently near the southern corner and southwestern wall. The computer Chris uses for Internet access seems to be in this part of the house, as is a Christmas tree left up year-round. Tellingly, Chris has actually photographed himself with [[Officer Nasty]] and [[sex toys|dildos]] in the kitchen, and has even [[mass debating|mass debated]] over a webcam feed. This implies that Snorlax (and Bob, when he was still with us) never actually leave the areas in which they sleep and spend their days there, leaving Chris free to do [[sex tape|whatever he wants]] undisturbed. The living room, packed with boxes and shit, is across the stairway from Chris's room.
{{clear}}

===Yard===
The Chandlers' yard consists of some simple crossed wood planters near the curb and some small shrubs and trees out front. The plants in the planters have long since [[Chris and death|died]]. The backyard contains a shed and a small platform leading to a back entrance. The shed is full of shit, most notably a car, and was once the place where [[Bob]] would tinker with machines. After that, there are some trees and the pen where [[Patti]] once played. Her [[Father Call|5-10 ton doghouse]] still stands, and she is buried nearby. At some point, a tree branch fell on the grave. Being lazy, Chris cannot summon the strength to pick the damn thing up.

However, in earlier pictures (when Chris was less huge and he had yet to start his [[Love Quest]]), we can see that the yard used to be quite lush and beautiful, with a variety of flowers planted around the area, the grass clipped, and healthy trees. Many people speculate that over the years, Chris's parents have gotten too old or too lazy to care for their garden, leaving the area neglected.

As of [[February 2012]], the yard has been completely obscured by trash, junked cars, and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|God knows what else]]. From the street one could barely stand the smell and only the bravest of Ruckersville's citizens dare to venture past.

In 2013, a troll passing Chris's house in his car uploaded [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZKGe4BOSE a video], showing the front yard almost completely covered by an overgrown lawn, in addition to the above.

==The Tour II: Electric Hedgehog Boogaloo==

In 2013, a [[Tour_of_Chris's_House_II|video was leaked]] by [[Alec Benson Leary]] showing the state of Chris' home since the last tour he gave in 2009. Needless to say ''(especially in light of eyewitness reports of his front yard in 2012)'', the house has become even ''more'' of a mess since then. Whereas Chris had at least ''some'' room to maneuver in the 2009 Tour Video, here, the passageways have become so narrow and jam-packed that even he complains about all of the clutter being in his way. The kitchen, in particular, has become an unsightly mess- the Chandlers apparently couldn't be half-assed to put away their groceries, so it's strewn all over the place. The living room, already an ocean of rubbish, has gotten worse, with the accumulated clutter now towering over Chris to the point where he has to stretch to get footage of it. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the [[ShowerClean|last video Chris released of him cleaning it]] - and he even admits so himself in the video.

Even the stairs of his home have become cluttered with nonsense such as Christmas ornaments, boxes and bags, which could spell disaster if Chris or [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] have to evacuate the premises. Also notable is the fact that ever so often, Chris can be observed picking up random pieces of garbage from the floor as well.

In [[Chris and his Ego|typical Chris-Chan fashion]], he describes his room as "the cleanest of the whole house", despite it having unsightly masses of clothes everywhere and even an unmade bed that he couldn't be bothered to at least straighten up before making this ill-advised video.

When he steps outside, he basically confirms what trolls have documented as early as 2012: that his lawn is ''completely'' overgrown to the point where it has utterly consumed one of the structures in his yard. Also unsurprising is the fact that after Bob's death, the garden shed has been completely abandoned.

Given his commentary, it ''almost'' seemed like Chris acknowledges that he has kept his home in a very unacceptable condition....right until he blames [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents]] for being "hoarders" and [[Chris_and_remorse#Shifting_blame|totally shifting blame away from himself]], ''despite'' being the "man" of the house.

==Mail==
{{quote|Hand-Written and Hand-Drawn Submissions are also accepted, ONLY addressed to: Christian Weston Chandler 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA 22968. ALL letters addressed to any NAME other than "Christian Weston Chandler" or "Christopher Weston Chandler", will be Immediately disposed of with Paper Recyling, or be "Returned to Sender" with a frown face on it. ALL Visually Grotesque, Shocking and Offensive art works and letters will be disposed of properly as well.|Chris on contacting him, [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia]|2=[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWCipedia:Copyrights CWCipedia copyright page]}}

If you would like to send a letter to Christian, or perhaps mail his mother some of the many [[nudes|NOODZ]] he has posted on the Internets in recent times, you can contact him at:

:''Christian Weston Chandler,''
:''14 Branchland Court,''
:''[[Ruckersville]],'' [[Virginia|VA]] 22968-9545,''
:''[[United States of America]]''

'''NOTE:'''
:Based on previous experience with mail, it is likely that one of two things will happen to the letter should you choose to send it: 1.) It will be intercepted by Chris, who apparently takes his parents' (now that Bob kicked it, his mother's) mail on a regular basis, or 2.) Barbara will receive it, and dismiss it as old news (reports show that his parents have read some of the letters and ignored them).

==Visiting==
[[File:House-fail-bursting-at-the-seams.jpg|thumb|The eventual future of 14 Branchland Court.]]

Visits to 14 Branchland Court, at least until Chris inherits the house and promptly trades the deed to a troll for some magic beans so said troll can found the "Christian Weston Chandler Museum of Fail", are ill-advised. While a troll who does manage to make it to the front door will probably not be assaulted by Chris, they will most likely face Chris as he calls for his elderly mother to fight his battle or perform a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]].

To date, Chris has extended personalized invitations to [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], the staff of [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]], and pretty much anybody that has ever thought ill of Chris to come to his house, so that he might [[Death threats|murder them]]. To date, none of them has taken him up on his offer. The scenario of such a meeting would likely be reminiscent of the [[hooker incident]], wherein the police would be promptly summoned whilst Chris hides, crying, behind his mother.

==Chris and his address==
Giving away one's home address on the Internet is generally considered unwise. Possibly Chris didn't realize this, or perhaps he realizes that [[trolls]] have so thoroughly and permanently violated his privacy that attempting to preserve it is a lost cause. In any case, he has publicly announced his home address on a number of occasions, in YouTube videos and elsewhere.

* Shortly after 21 July 2009, when [[CChanSonichuCWC]] released a video promoting his ''Sonichu'' merchandise, Chris posted his address in a YouTube comment in hopes of a physical confrontation with the "impostor".
* On 14 August 2009, in the video [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|"NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!"]], Chris rattled off his address as a way of attempting to prove his identity.
* He did the same thing in his [[CWC Public Disclaimer]], also released on 14 August 2009.
* On 23 November 2009, in the [[CWC_Personal_Sonichu_Presentation|''Sonichu'' Presentation]], Chris provided his address (as well as his home and mobile phone numbers) in hopes of attracting investment in his comic book characters.
* On 15 January 2010, Chris released a [[15 January 2010|video]] where he summoned the creators of the Asperpedia to his home address for a confrontation.
* On 27 August 2010, Chris gave out his address and phone number in a [[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW|YouTube video]] seeking to organize a high school reunion. In the same video, he warned viewers to be careful with their personal information on the Internet, taking his anti-grasp of irony to incredible new levels.
* Chris has published his address on his websites at various times. It was available at the bottom of the main page on the [[CWCipedia]] for most of the time Chris used the site.

==Gallery==
On 7 [[September 2013]], some pictures of the house were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]].
<center>
<gallery>
File:14BranchlandCourt1.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt2.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt3.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt4.jpg|
File:14BranchlandCourt5.jpg|
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
* [[Chris's room]]
* [[Chris's kitchen]]
* [[Ruckersville]]
* [[Charlottesville]]
* [[Tour of Christian's House]]
* [[Chris's homes]]

==References==
<references />
{{Places}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]

Talk:October 2013 Facebook Posts

2013-10-10T22:47:04Z

IwegalBadnik: My verbose, overly elaborate analytical response

== And I not or you and your army ==
I'm pretty sure that this is supposed to be "And if not for you and your army". This isn't a case of Chris mangling the English language, it's a case of his F key not working. [[User:Der Zuschauer|Der Zuschauer]] 12:37, 10 October 2013 (PDT)
:Typos can be made and malfunctions can afflict certain keys. That being said, it's not like Chris had no way of obtaining the letter. I've dealt with this when similarly troubled, and have found it takes little effort. I would argue this ''does'' play into Chris' difficulties with English, but more in line with his failure to proofread and/or laziness to act on problems found in proofreading rather than plain mangling. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 15:47, 10 October 2013 (PDT)

User talk:Champthom

2013-10-08T07:48:38Z

IwegalBadnik: /* Sagas */ new section

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 5|5]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 6|6]]

== Champ, I mean it now ==
When I come on here and see that people like [[User talk:Steve Landcleamer|this mouthbreather]] have been fucking with pages while being told not to and spamming pictures of furry porn that we for some reason allow on here, and yet I have the power to neither delete the image or ban the sperg, it cuts me deep. I'm on here often enough and I've already contributed a lot to the wiki. Can you throw some Jerkop powers my way so I can sort this shit out in future? We don't have nearly enough active mods and this place seems to have this kind of shit all the time. I mean this seriously Champ, I think the CWCki could benefit a lot from more Jerkops. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:09, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
:Before you answer him, Champ, keep in mind that I've also been here a long time and am also actively contributing; so if you decided to give Old meme jerkop rights, I sure would appreciate receiving them as well. Just saying. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 09:24, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

*You both make good points. Could you point out the furry image though, the only image I've seen by him is that picture of Chris ejaculating on Anna's face, which I've incidentally deleted because I don't think it really improves the Anna article. Anyways, about quality in general - I've discussed this issue with Anonymax, and this goes for the both of you, that as regular users you have all the tools needed to improve the quality of the CWCki. If there's an incidence such as an edit war going on, you're welcome to ask any of the admins to step in to resolve the issue. For these reasons, I don't think it's needed to add more jerkops or admins for these reasons. However, if it ever got out of control, then I would consider making someone a quality control jerkop to enforce quality standards. However, I think for the most part you all have the tools you need, just keep making good edits and reverting shit like you have been doing and I think that should be sufficient.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:11, 20 April 2012 (PDT)
**He's probably talking about [[:Image:Sonichu.jpg|this picture]], which was spammed on [[CWCki:Privacy policy]]. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:46, 20 April 2012 (PDT)

== Deletion of Fail; Effects ==

Would it be necessary to organize a project of some kind to remove red "fail" pipes from pages across the CWCki? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 11:27, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
*[http://www.sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Special:WhatLinksHere/Fail&limit=500 Here they all are]. Clean them at your leisure. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 11:57, 23 April 2012 (PDT)
:[[User:Anonybot|Anonybot]] is working on it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 14:41, 23 April 2012 (PDT)

Fail article deleted, stupid page names corrected, Champ finally got around to deleting the furry porn. It's been a good week. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:39, 24 April 2012 (PDT)
*At least SOMEONE is happy.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 25 April 2012 (PDT)

==Why did you delete the article on Kim?==
She is as notable as any of the gal pals, and all the info IS public, coming from the Kacey calls.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:03, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know the Kim from the Kacey calls is the same Kim Wilson? Kim is a fairly common name. You're also assuming a lot of things, like Kim is ScarletSanctum when you have no proof of that, and you're including a lot of things that are rumors like how some apology video was because Kim was upset. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:04, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

*1. Chris states her name is Kim Wilson in one of the Kacey calls.
*2. ScarletSanctum is Kim's youtube handle, as stated in [[SingStar Challenge]].
*3. Chris addresses in that video that he upset Kim and Kacey with the previous video.

And if the name was an issue why not just redirect the page to "Kim"?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:17, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know that ScarletSanctum is Kim? Does Chris explicitly mention it? Also does Chris specifically say Kim in that video in that it upset her? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:23, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

Chris does explicitly mention it. Look at this dialouge in [[Kacey Call 1]]:
*Chris: Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...
*Kacey: Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.
*Chris: Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.
*Kacey: Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?
*Chris: No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

As far as making the video in response to offending Kim, he also implicitly states this:

"Uh, I dedicate this video to uh, Logan. Boyfriend of my gal-pal, Kim. Yeah, anyway uh, I've--I just wanted to uh, apologize for uh...offending you in anyway"

He could also be referring to offending Logan, but either way why through the baby out with the bathwater?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 23:35, 4 May 2012 (PDT)
*Let me think about it. In the meantime, I've made a [[User:Steve Landcleamer/Kim|subpage]] for you in the meantime.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:39, 4 May 2012 (PDT)

So is there any hold up or is the page good to go? I've answered all your questions and it seems to meet all the requirements.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:32, 5 May 2012 (PDT)
*Don't you think it might be a little bit imprudent to make a page about Kim?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Why would it be imprudent? All the information is public and sourced. All the other gal pals have pages, so what would the problem be?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:37, 5 May 2012 (PDT)

*Well?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)
*Good God, first learn some patience, this isn't a life and death issue. Second of all, let me put it this way - in your own words, the supposed Kim calls are unreleased. Why do you think that is?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:18, 8 May 2012 (PDT)

Because "she"'s obviously still trying to troll Chris. Regardless, that's beside the point, while the calls haven't been released, all the information in the article has. You initially deleted it under the guise that is was "Not notable, not based on public information", but we both know that that's clearly not the cause. My page seemed to meet all the guidelines, so based on Cwicki guidelines, what is objectionable about it?

I'm sorry if I seem impatient, I just find this quelling of already public information to be pretty ridiculous and counter productive to the CWCki.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 14:43, 8 May 2012 (PDT)
*Based on my discussions with Canine and Anonymax, I have decided to restore the article. Remember, the CWCki is form Chris's POV so Kim isn't a troll, she has not publicly declared herself to be a troll to Chris. I'd also avoid posting on /cwc/ and CWCki Forums when you make an article on a delicate topic like this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:09, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

===If I may step in and say a piece===
I know I may not be towing the party line by saying this Champ, but Land has a point here. This is all information that was technically on the wiki anyway, just in out of the way places. Personally, I have no problem with covering things up for trolling purposes, because I understand the need to do so and I'm not one to whine about dang dirty stonecutters, but we have information on Kim here already. I don't care which side of the fence you're on Champ, I'll just go with what you say, but you've got to at least be consistent. Either allow the article outright, or if you object to some of the content in the article being made public, censor it and then allow the censored version to be posted. Your decision is final and no-one would be able to stop you, so I don't know what you're worried about. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:22, 9 May 2012 (PDT)
*True, I realize this, but the issue is that there's a good reason that Kim doesn't already have an article, mostly for [[A_Quick_Guide_to_CWCki#Privacy|privacy reasons]] which is indeed already covered. I'm trying to convey that subtly. Remember, Chris reads the CWCki, and loose lips sink ships. I don't think "we" released the Kacey calls, Canine tells me it was all dropped by Liquid's twin brother so it's not like we were able to filter through everything to see if anything was objectionable.

:This is a difficult decision and I need to discuss it with Canine a bit more, unfortunately we have conflicting schedules so I'll try and catch him tonight.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:31, 9 May 2012 (PDT)

==Chris's POV==
*Thank you for restoring the Kim article. I am wondering something concerning what you said about the cwicki supposed to be from Chris's point of view. Why do articles like [[Obesity]] state that Chris is fat? He's said multiple times that he does not think he is. There are lots of other examples like this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:07, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

[[Chris and reality]] would be the best example of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 18:13, 11 May 2012 (PDT)
::We go by what Chris thinks/says unless we have decent evidence to the contrary. With his obesity, we have more than enough evidence to support this. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 01:04, 12 May 2012 (PDT)

==Permanently Banned from Message Board==
I really don't understand this at all. Please respond to the email I sent you.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 16:21, 6 May 2012 (PDT)

Never mind one of the other mods took care of this.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:39, 7 May 2012 (PDT)

I have a similar problem and would like to be unbanned. [[User:Negi Springfield|Negi Springfield]] 23:23, 9 July 2012 (PDT)
*I'm guessing you got banned for being a sperglord, but what's your username?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 10 July 2012 (PDT)
I was banned due to 789chan having a thread on me during one of their CWC dry spells. I went by Negi Springfield, so not much different from what I'm using right now. [[User:Negi Springfield|Negi Springfield]] 17:01, 10 July 2012 (PDT)

I would also like to be unbanned from the message board. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 00:29, 7 August 2012 (PDT)
*You've had two threads about you on /cwc/ plus you've sperged about your "comic." No, you're not getting unbanned.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 7 August 2012 (PDT)

There was never a single warning I had received from any board moderator regarding personal attacks or violating message board policy. If my posts were so terrible, it only stands to reason that your moderators would have jumped in. Aren’t they the watchdogs of the message board?

What exactly is your justification for permanently banning people who have been mentioned on 789Chan? [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 07:22, 8 August 2012 (PDT)
*There is a clear rule about over sperging and if there's a /cwc/ thread about you, odds are you've sperged too much. My moderators are often too lax when it comes to this sort of thing, which is why I step in. I don't need to warn you, you should know better, if you have autism that you choose not to treat that is not my fault. And my rationale? If you've got a thread about you on /cwc/, me banning you is the least of your concerns. In fact, I am doing a favor by preventing you from digging yourself deeper in a hole. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:42, 8 August 2012 (PDT)

Champ this is right from the CWCki about “Sperging”
“The CWCki forums highly recommended place to discuss anything about Chris to your heart's content. This board was created in response to the growing demand for a place where people could discuss anything without fear of violating CWCki's strict talk page policies”

As far as sperging about my comic that was in reference to critiquing Chris’ art style

I mentioned there were open source graphics programs such as GIMP that were completely free to download. I brought up the fact that he could spend a little bit of his tugboat on reference works with royalty free manga stock images and copyright would not be an issue.

As for a few of the other topics that I started that probably sperged?
Are we being unfair to Chris in judging him?
Would you hire Chris if he was genuinely seeking employment?
Do you think that Chris and Barbara were intimate with each other?
If Chris decided to charge $250 for a for two day visit at his house and a no holds barred interview, would you take him up on it?

The board moderator(s) that I observed that wanted to put in their two cents worth joined right in on the debates: They had no issues with this. You mentioned the board moderators were too lax. I disagree. They were doing their job.

Let me share something with you: When that thread started about me around the beginning of January on 789chan and I was permanently banned: I monitored that thread every day. They went back and looked at my posts. Do you want to know what their reaction was?

They were baffled on why I was being banned. They didn’t bust my chops because of what I posted in the forum. What got the thread off the ground was a personal attack on 789Chan over a Beiber troll on my YouTube channel that came back and bit me in the ass. Was it a moment of stupidity that I regretted? Yup.

Have I been brought up twice on 789Chan? No. I’d say 5 to 10 times is more of a realistic estimate. It wasn’t sperging that brought me up on 789Chan. It was curiosity about my YouTube channel (which has been around for years) and more recently my website. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 20:31, 8 August 2012 (PDT)
*Why do you want to go back on the forum so bad? It's kinda sad that you're going to all this trouble. Seriously, move on dude, talk about Chris on /cwc/, see how that goes. Hell, go to [[User:Slimz|Slimz's]] forum. Or start your own. Why do you want to go back on the forum so much? The point is that you give us unwanted attention and I have enough trouble maintaining the forum's reputation as it is.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:15, 9 August 2012 (PDT)
'''NOTE''' slimz forum is no longer active, never really was. Slimz would like to be reinstated in the forums as well :) i have bene here editing for a while ban was like a year ago. [[User:Slimz|slimz - ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐]] 13:14, 9 August 2012 (PDT)
*Most of your edits are shit, plus what you do here has no bearing on the forums. You are the reason why everyone on /cwc/ thinks we're all A-Logs, there is no fucking way you're going back on the forum. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:35, 9 August 2012 (PDT)

I just took off my last reply. I'm not going to worry about this anymore. Do whatever you want. [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 22:46, 10 August 2012 (PDT)
*What was the username you had on the forum? I've thought about it and I think I might just let you back on.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:14, 11 August 2012 (PDT)

My username was Kengel1021 [[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 16:04, 18 August 2012 (PDT)

Thank you Champ. I am not sure what the policy for reentry is upon a ban lift under these circumstances so I have registered a new account(YippoBlippo)for the forums.--[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 16:23, 9 September 2012 (PDT)

== Comms ==

I'm on IRC a lot and today is my day off work so if you're around so am I! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:19, 11 May 2012 (PDT)

== can I help? ==
Hey I have a capture card that does 720p,1800p,ect and wanted to know if I could use it to help (lbp videos,screen shots) does anything need to be rerecorded? also I'm moving soon so if you could say something in the next week or so (before I have to pack my computer up) that would be great. [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)
* Sorry it took a day to get back to you, just had to think as I do appreciate your gumption. To be honest though, I can't think of anything in particular, BUT that's just to the best of my knowledge. Head over to [[CWCki:General|the community portal]] and ask there, there might be some people to have some ideas. Just do me one teensy favor - be sure to sign your posts (that's four ~ in a row) so we know who you are when you post. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:29, 30 May 2012 (PDT)
* thanks! [[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]] 09:14, 1 June 2012 (PDT)

==Bruce Johnson==
The Bruce Johnson thing is real. I don't even care about the PVCC anymore. I just want you to know I'm not making up what I added to the cwicki. Would you like a wider screenshot of the facebook convo?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 19:26, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*How do you know it's the real Bruce Johnson? Or rather, why should we trust you? I could easily have made a Bruce Johnson account to fool you. Even if it is real, do we really need it? All it boils down to is Johnson saying he's not a pedophile contrary to what Chris said. Is this really a startling revelation, that Chris said something negative about someone and it's not true? Do we really need to confirm this, in light of Chris's history? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:36, 20 June 2012 (PDT)
*'Sup bitches, guess who's back? Champy, thought I'd drop in to tell you that under the "no shit is too minor" policy, (which you should really get rid of if it enrages you so), we do indeed need to confirm everything if possible. That said this is still probably bullshit, and confirming this still isn't your job. If you want my two cents, give Landcleamer a chance to convince you of its authenticity at least. I'm sure you have high standards for what you'd accept as convincing proof, so either someone else will go out of their way to contribute something valid, or he can fail to do so and you can say no again. Worst case scenario, Steve Landcleamer turns out to be the weenest of ween trolls and goes through a lot of work to convince you of something fairly inconsequential that can be removed if it later turns out to be fake anyway. The way I see it, this isn't a real problem for you either way. Let the monkey dance. Also, your insulting summaries were hilarious. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 02:12, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
:*I forgot to add in the summary that our friend Steve here wanted to be let into PVCC on the basis of this "startling" revelation. As I've said before, "no shit is too minor" should mean that we don't overlook things, not that we need to get third party confirmation on everything. Anyone who's familiar with Chris knows that his memory isn't totally accurate and he's been known to bullshit. Given that Chris has called Michael Synder a Jew, does this mean we have to contact Michael Synder and confirm whether or not he is a Jew? Do we need to contact Mary Lee Walsh to make sure she's not in fact secretly a witch planning on banning true love from Virginia? It should be pretty obvious that Johnson probably isn't a pedophile, and what does his admission of not being a pedophile say? He could be lying for all we know, I'm not saying he's a pedophile, he probably isn't, but his admission of not being a pedophile shouldn't be startling. I mean, did you expect him to say "Chris got me, I'm a kiddy piddler, I love little boys and molesting them as they sit on my lap and I do horrible profane things to them." Of course the answer is "no," why do we need to have confirmation of this?
::As I've said before, I don't like people bothering Chris tangentially related to Chris about stuff. I think having known Chris is punishment enough, it doesn't help to have epic ween trolls like Steve here think they're gonna get into PVCC on the basis of harassing these people and asking them for information about Chris. I think it's pretty damn weird and spergy to do this, that is to contact people with tangential relations to Chris and ask them details about Chris. Someone on the CWCki Forums is like "No, it's not weird, it's just like liking any celebrity like the Kardashians." Here's the thing - I don't think celebrity magazines are hunting down the lady who served one of those Kardashian people coffee and doing a full length interview. It's bizarre, I would be weirded out if some person went up to and wanted me to tell them everything I know about some person I vaguely remember from years ago.
::This isn't exactly someone who served Chris coffee, it's a major figure in Christory.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::Burden of proof is on Steve and he's on shakey ground. I don't trust him one bit. I don't like having things that could very easily be false on the CWCki because it hurts our reputation and people already distrust the CWCki as it is, I don't need to give them more reason to distrust it. I don't want to give people an incentive to make up fake bullshit and post it on the CWCki with the thought they'll be declared an epic ween troll for getting "new" "content" and that they'll get into PVCC and that mommy and daddy will finally love them because they'll no longer be wastes of human flesh.
::You have to REALLY convince me here, Steve. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:18, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Hey, no objections from me. Steve wants to dig up trivial information to try and get into PVCC, that's his business. It's not like it would at all harm the CWCki to put up a single quote from the man if it does turn out to be true. Though really, you need to do something about the abundance of ween trolls trying to get into PVCC, or even just normal idiots desperately begging for it, like 16BitAlex. Maybe the guys in the forum itself or on IRC get a good laugh out of them, but I personally just get depressed when I see people like Stevey-boy cluttering the CWCki recent changes, desperately pursuing some unattainable goal by making bullshit edits and whining as hard as possible on talk pages. It wastes your time, it wastes mine, it's rather sad, and it's not even entertaining enough for the guys on /cwc/ to get more than a single thread from it. All in all, a pathetic affair for all involved. I would suggest temp-banning Pipecleaner if he continues to make a nuisance of himself after this, under your "Drama whoring" clause. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 06:13, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Champ, you have my email. This might be a dumb idea on my part, but I'm willing to give you the facebook login information so you can see the message for yourself. I'm willing to trust you to not fuck with the account, just to go into the private messages and verify the authenticity. After that can I be allowed back to the cwicki forum, under the understanding that I'll never ask to join the PVCC again?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 07:50, 21 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I think /cwc/ has made a good point, a point I have, is that - what did you expect him to say? Of course he's going to say he didn't molest Chris, even if he did molest Chris he's not going to admit it to some stranger. So having him say that he didn't do it isn't saying much, because either way he'll deny it and that really doesn't add anything to the discussion. And like I said, given Chris's background, we know he exaggerates things, and that his recollection of events aren't always the most reliable, do we need to actually get confirmation of this?
:::Ignoring the issue you wanted to get into PVCC, I don't see what it really adds to the discussion. I also don't want to encourage people to hassle people connected to Chris to get information.
:::If people feel like it absolutely, positively must remain in the article, I'd say something like "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..." or something like that so people can interpret it however they please. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:38, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Alright, can we keep it in under that wording?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:34, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::* How do we even know it was from Bruce anyway? I'm not doubting Steve Landcleamer has a message on his facebook, I'm 100% sure that if anyone where to get onto his facebook they would find said message...I'm doubting that it's Bruce. People have been faking to be people Chris knows for quite a while (like Megan), this wouldn't be a first.--[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 09:10, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Why would someone make an entire fake facebook account full of pictures and friends, on the random change that years after its creation someone recognizes them as Chris Chan's old principal, just so they can dish out false information? If that was the case surely they wouldn't have just said that Chris is a liar and insane.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 10:43, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
::*May I ask a question? Even if you did successfully contact Chris's old principal, why was the only thing you could ask "R u pedo lol?". The big questions about Chris's time at NGE are "Why was he sent to the principal?", "Why exactly did they record his screams, was it because he was a repeat offender?", "Why was he transferred there from Greene County Primary?", and "Were the principal's lap incident and scream recording incident the same incident?". Any of those would be worth adding to the CWCki, and it would have cleared away most of the fog surrounding the event. Instead you asked for information that everyone already knew. It's like you stumbled into a garden containing hundreds of delicious alien fruits and came back with a half-eaten ordinary banana.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:00, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::Firstly, if you read the screenshot, you'll see I did ask him what really went down with Chris being sent to his office and having his screams recorded. All Johnson says is Chris is liar. Secondly I figured asking private information out of the blue about a former student would get no answer, by connecting it to the fact that Chris is getting sued by Snyder (who he also claimed was a pedophile), the message comes across as a concerned citizen looking out for Mr. Johnson, rather than some creep obsessed with Chris, and thus got a reply.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 13:56, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*I would also add that just because the Facebook profile is full of pictures and friends doesn't mean it isn't fake. It could just be a -really- good fake. The kind of fake that leaves no obvious evidence that makes it easy to discern as a fake. As to why someone would have done it, stranger and less tactically sound things have happened, enough that I can conceive of and not be surprised by someone doing it for exactly the reasons you mentioned, regardless of the lack of point in doing so. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 15:17, 22 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I will be happy to provide you a link to the facebook page, along with it's postings dating years back, and you still tell me this is can all be chalked up to an elaborate troll scheme.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*You don't need to. I checked the page in its entirety (at least as much as I had access to) before I posted here, and did again before posting this. I think this is more of a difference of opinion than anything: the factors that convince you that it is real (profile in existence since 2008, existence of friends and wall posts, etc), don't automatically convince me. Like 4Macie said, if this is a fake, it is hardly the first time someone has done it. I'll also reiterate my opinion that a -really- good fake will not have any obvious signs that it is a fake. I'm not saying that the profile is fake, just that there isn't any compelling evidence that it isn't. My official position is that it exists, and people more savvy and/or more connected than I can verify the truth of it all if they choose to. Whether it is or it isn't, I'm inclined to agree with Champthom in that Bruce Johnson not being a pedophile is hardly an earth-shattering surprise. At best, it's just (allegedly) confirming something everybody but Chris already believed to be true. -[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 17:51, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
::*Does anyone object to keeping this info under the wording Champ suggested, "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..."? --[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 15:43, 23 June 2012 (PDT)
:::*I don't think we should put it on here at all until Champthom is convinced it's real. Also; epic ween, brah.. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 03:33, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

===My thoughts===
I think the wrong focus here is whether it's indeed real or not. Supposedly this Facebook profile has been around a while, has plenty of photos, etc. What motive is there for someone to go into such detail and for what purposes? It's pretty easy why someone would want to impersonate someone like Megan or someone Chris knew from high school - so Chris will see these people, decide to talk to them, and they'd then be able to troll Chris. What purpose is there for someone faking Bruce Johnson? Why would Chris decide to contact Bruce Johnson? I can only really imagine Chris deciding 1) to look up Johnson and 2) taking the effort to contact him mostly to say something like "You molested me you pedofork!" and mind you, Chris is pretty lazy so he wouldn't go to that much hassle. So we have to possibilities - 1) someone has planned since 2008 to troll Chris and has created a believable Facebook profile, all for the motive of trolling Chris or 2) it's actually Bruce Johnson. Occam's razor would suggest the latter.

I think the real issue here is - how can we be sure it's real or not? There's no way of knowing whether this is real or not. Are we supposed to take Steve's word for it? What's to stop other people from making similar claims? People love making shit up about Chris and using that as a way to get attention for themselves or in Steve's case, to try and get into PVCC. The CWCki was designed purposely to separate truth and fact and that's why I take this sort of thing seriously, namely that I don't like things of dubious origins to be cited as facts on here.

But also, let's consider - why the hell is this so damn important? I mean, it's just Steve saying "Chris says you're a pedophile" and Johnson says "No I'm not." Is that really startling? Will this totally change the way we look at Chris's claim? You know what? Even if he was a pedophile, do you really expect him to admit to a strange he molested children? So his confession says nothing really. I think that a reader of the CWCki should be familiar with Chris's track record with memory in that he tends to remember things in his favor (like that he was a Pokemon gym leader vs. Lucas and Mimms's claim that he only did it one time when all the regular people were out), plus that [[Wikipedia:Repressed_memory|repressed memories]] in general can be dubious and that it's very easy to construct pseudo-memories. Let's be VERY generous and let's say that Chris was indeed molested by Bruce Johnson. Does this really excuse his homophobia? I'd say no. True, it'd be a more valid reason than thinking that you can "turn" gay but I think that really only justifies not liking one particular gay person. Let's say a black person robs me - does this justify me being racist to all black people? No, that'd be silly, just because one particular black person harmed me doesn't mean I should hate blacks as a groups. Same thing applies to Chris and gays.

Side note - Steve, don't break up one of my posts, because it looks like you wrote that whole bit when I in fact did.

In regards to your comment, you're right, this isn't like someone serving coffee - it's much weirder. It's more like if a complete stranger approached you on the street and asked you about the guy who sat two seats in back of you in English class and demanding you tell them every single detail about them. No, Chris isn't a celebrity, he's our bizarre obsession and we need to be honest with ourselves, it's sorta weird. If it wasn't for trolling, Chris would be an ordinary, dull person, albeit with some eccentricities but just an ordinary person who you might look at a few extra seconds if you were to pass him by but not a celebrity by normal standards. If you think it's normal to contact people who vaguely know people from ages ago and ask them for every single detail about said person, they'd probably think you're some sort of stalker or there's something mental with you.

So should we have this tidbit on the article? Like I said, I don't think it really adds anything. If it's generating this much furious debate, I don't think it'd be wise to include it. This isn't about me not being convinced, it's about not convincing the CWCki community as a whole. Like I said, I don't think we're losing out on anything major here.

Those are my thoughts at least. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:20, 25 June 2012 (PDT)

Why not include it? Isn't there an inherent interest to here Johnson's response even though it is what we'd assume it would be? It can only make an article stronger. Take for example a New York Times article about an alleged criminal, it will always make a note that they contacted the accused, even if the person simply replies with a refusal to comment.

Including Johnson's comments in the article helps verify what people suspect about Chris (he made this incident up). Isn't further information/confirmation better than none?

As far as proving the facebook message was not some photoshop, I'm still offering Champ access to the acount so that I can prove I am not doctoring things (and if I was wouldn't you expect the details to be a lot juicier?)--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:41, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
::: Seriously, why are you trying so hard for this? I'm pretty sure anyone who reads what Chris thinks about Bruce would naturally assume that Bruce didn't actually touch Chris inappropriately and that Chris's screams were not recorded for Bruce's amusement... --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 21:15, 25 June 2012 (PDT)
:::I've already explained myself. What is the harm in including it?--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:46, 26 June 2012 (PDT)

So would you like the account info? I'd like to definitively prove that this is real and move on.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 17:26, 27 June 2012 (PDT)

* I don't think anyone doubts that you received the message, the uncertainty lies in whether the account you received it from is genuine which cannot be proved by someone logging into your FB account. And also whether it's important enough to go on the CWCki anyway. [[User:Samboy|Samboy]] 02:07, 28 June 2012 (PDT)

The what's wrong with the wording Champ suggested, "From a Facebook message purportedly from Bruce Johnson..."? We've already established that there's an incredibly slim chance that it's a fake account, and this would reflect that small margin of error.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 06:41, 28 June 2012 (PDT)

* Ehhhh ... I'm still inclined to basically agree with Champ in the respect that this isn't really all that important and we're not losing out on anything major by not including it. I too also wonder why you're so insistent on this. Is this really so important that it's been worth the eight days of discussion thus far? That it's worth giving your Facebook info to someone to prove the authenticity of a point that is almost unanimously considered too minor to really be worth the effort? Which to me, I might add, seems an awful lot like something -Chris- would do, or would have done in the past. Honestly, the more you insist on having this put in the CWCki, the more skeptical I am and the more I feel that, for you, this is less about documenting things related to Chris and more about trying to boost your cred and adding more contributions to your credit. Or, like Champ already pointed out, trying to get into PVCC. Near as I can figure, the only one who is determined to see this in the CWCki is you. --[[User:Perpetual Lurker|Perpetual Lurker]] 12:52, 28 June 2012 (PDT)
**This. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 05:39, 29 June 2012 (PDT)

*Alright fine, you don't want it, I'll stop pushing it. Champ can you let me back on the message board? I didn't violate any rules and it's been two weeks already.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 20:05, 29 June 2012 (PDT)
:*You broke the rule about being a sperg. If you wanna go talk about Chris, why not try /cwc/? I'm sure they'll love you there.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:45, 29 June 2012 (PDT)
:*That's okay I'm content without being a member of either and just editing the cwicki.--[[User:Steve Landcleamer|Steve Landcleamer]] 19:08, 30 June 2012 (PDT)

====Help me out.====

I want to put this up as the video of the now but I'm not sure how. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r868reAYD4&feature=g-u-u[[User:Blaziken|Blaziken]]

== Ban [[User:Ireece1|this fag]] ==
You won't make me a mod, so get on it. Reason is vandalism. Check his user contributions. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 09:23, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
*Not seeing it, all he did was say that 789chan was down (it's not anymore). Not sure what you're talking about.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:35, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
*He implied a permanent closure when there was none. So my mistake, not vandalism. Inserting false information into pages. Still ban him. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 12:05, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
:*/cwc/ was down for a while and had a domain parking site in its place, it'd be easy to assume it's closed. A hasty assumption, but not inserting false information. Just revert since it's not the case and move on.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:01, 31 August 2012 (PDT)
::* *stress sigh* Fine. I'll let it go this time. But I still believe you're not nearly harsh enough. --[[User:Old meme|Old meme]] 08:53, 2 September 2012 (PDT)

== banned ==

My IP is permabanned on the CWCki forum...this was the reason: "Multiple Ban Evasions - Keep Your Cool :) " I was told to come here and grovel before you.

== Missed a pic ==

[[http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Hello.jpg]]

The vandal from earlier uploaded Goatse here as well. [[User:Cleaner|Cleaner]] 07:49, 17 September 2012 (PDT)

^ Ditto. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 00:05, 22 September 2012 (PDT)

== New Article ==

What do you think? Ready for prime time? [[User:Lumber/Chris and brand loyalty]]. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 11:30, 1 October 2012 (PDT)

== New Article ==

What do you think? Ready for prime time? [[User:Lumber/Brand Loyalty]]. --[[User:Lumber|Lumber]] 11:32, 1 October 2012 (PDT)
*I was going to say, I'm usually reluctant to add another "Chris and..." article as I think they tend to be too speculatory at times. But I think this is a decent topic, as I've seen Chris's brand loyalty brought up from time to time on forums, though usually it's some component of it (like "Why is Chris so dedicated to Sonic?") and it's been a while since we've had an article of this caliber written. It's not perfect, but then again I don't think any article on the site is perfect. It looks like you did your homework, as did the other people who contributed to the article. So why the hell not? Go for it, dude. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:21, 2 October 2012 (PDT)

== Ban Evasion ==

Ban Evasion for What???? I had over 100 posts and had been here for more than a month. I posted in the Cwcki forum inquiring about posting on the General Forum and Smoked Daddy sent me a link to the General Forum to make a formal request. Smoked Daddy approved my request and I was initially able to post in the General Forum. I sent a message to Smoked Daddy saying the problem was resolved.

Because Smoked Daddy was new and somewhat unfamiliar with the technical side of this of the CWCki, the General Forum denied me access after replying to one thread and was no longer able to post. I sent another message to Smoked Daddy informing him that I still had a problem posting in the General Forum. I tried to log in to the forums this morning and saw I was permanently banned. -[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 06:52, 22 October 2012 (PDT)
*You've been banned before, you know why I banned you before, you don't ban evade on my forum (i.e. sign up for a new account). Take it like a man instead of ban evading like a pussy. I don't care if Smokedaddy was okay with it, you've been banned before and you're still banned, don't think you're that clever. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:55, 22 October 2012 (PDT)

Clever about what Champ? Are you implying there was some sort of subterfuge when I registered a new account? I registered a new account '''after''' you lifted the ban (from the 789chan controversy) to avoid any more controversy with my old name on the forum.

I openly stated this right on your userpage under the topic "Permanent Ban". It's still there and was there ever since registered the new account. You must have known I was the same person I registered with the same name, same address, same birthdate and the same hyperlink to my webpage.
This was right on my profile. Surely you check your userpage on regular basis.

On second thought: If it makes you feel better thinking I conspired against you, go ahead and enjoy your forum -[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 10:55, 23 October 2012 (PDT)

== ban evasion? ==

I'm confused as to why I'm banned from the forum. I never tried to register another name or anything. I wasn't a trouble maker and never had to be warned.

== Forums are offline ==

It looks like something bad might have happened to them.[[User:CompyRex|CompyRex]] 18:11, 6 November 2012 (PST)

Hey, Champ. I have webspace, and I'm willing to take up hosting responsibilities for the forum. Let me know what you think. [[User:SushiHazard|SushiHazard]] 12:57, 7 November 2012 (PST)

== This shit ==

Hey, I know you're probably busy with the forums and all, but [[User:Reldnahc_C|this guy]] is uploading some [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg10.jpg|pretty]] [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg2.jpg|stupid]] [[:Image:Reldnahc_cs_sonichu_ep7_edit_pg3.jpg|shit]]. Considering this isn't ED and all, just thought you should know about it. [[User:Giantgroundsloth|Giantgroundsloth]] 20:46, 12 November 2012 (PST)

== WelcomeBot Doesn't Work? ==

I notice that the WelcomeBot doesn't work anymore. Is it intentional or a glitch? [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 20:09, 13 November 2012 (PST)

== why was I banned? ==

Seriously, why the hell was I banned? All I get from it was Mew jumping to conclusions, Nia complaining about my description of my Chris dream, and Trombonista acting as if it's my responsibility to tell all the members something they could easily find out on their own.- [[User:Murderdartxker|Murderdartxker]]
*I'm not taking this all out on you but please, for the love of God, if you're going to ask me why you were banned ''tell me who the fuck you are.'' If you're using a different user name on the forums than your CWCki account, I need to know because I have no way of looking up your ban. I don't have access to any IP address stuff on here (the CWCki proper) so it's not like I can match it. Also be aware that I don't follow every single thread on the forums and I'm not responsible for every ban. In fact, I personally rarely ban people. I have no problem looking into why you were banned. I just need to know who you are so I can look your account up because I'm not a psychic. Alternatively, in the future, you can contact me at cwckiforums@gmail.com. Not taking this all out on you but I don't know why people who come on here using completely different usernames than their forum account expect me to know who they are. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:48, 19 November 2012 (PST)
My username is the same.- [[User talk:murderdartxker|murderdartxker]]
*Ah, here we go - Brooklynbaliff told me you shitposted, had some posts end up in Spergatory, and failed to take advice not to shitpost. Then you ban evaded by pretending to be a "friend" and asking why you were banned. I'm not kind to ban evaders, but I'll see what I can do.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:05, 19 November 2012 (PST)

==Banned for My Protection?==

"You know, most people don't PM me when they ban evade. Look, I'm doing you a favor, so you're not the next Chris-chan."

You're not fooling me. You're not "protecting me". You're not protecting anybody from "digging themselves into a hole". I've sat in 789chan (now n0chan)while you're so called 789chan policy was practially a laughingstock. In fact Champ you were responsible for Mew getting on their lolcow list.[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 15:17, 30 December 2012 (PST)
*I don't care. If you want to see what happens when I allow people to be spergs on my forum, ask Paul David "Eyebrows" Smith. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 08:03, 31 December 2012 (PST)

You are like many people with Asperger Syndrome who try using computer logic with a predictable result when it comes to human behavior. Such and such was mentioned on n0chan: Therefore such and such sperged.
Not surprisingly, you are laboring under a misconception concerning PaganDeathKnight. This was not just simple sperging. He unethically requested Megan’s dox, and then tried selling his services as a field agent. Most significantly, he came onto 789chan trying to be an internet tough guy much like Robert Wayne Stiles. In other words he was feeding the trolls.
Judging whether someone becomes a “Chris Chan” is not a computer-like science; it’s an art that requires intuition and individual judgment (i.e. analyzing thread direction, social interaction of the threads, emerging patterns, relationship history) and it’s different for each individual. Yes some things can be deducted but much of this is intuitive (reading between the lines) and you seem to be unable to do this. This can be learned by an Aspie such as yourself if you are willing to take the time to lurk in n0chan and study the threads and the patterns of interaction. --[[User:Kengel1021|Kengel1021]] 19:30, 1 January 2013 (PST)

== locking non-talk pages ==

i changed the config so that non-jerkops/sysops can't edit the main namespace. talk pages are still editable. tell me how it works out --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 04:44, 23 January 2013 (PST)

== Hey ==

Do something about the spam usernames all over RC pls. Thanks. [[User:Aschlafly|Aschlafly]] 17:33, 28 January 2013 (PST)

== Forum Decision? ==

Hey Champ,

My offer still stands about hosting the forum. Seeing as the relief forum just kicked the bucket, now may be a good time to move on.

My email is ichverbot at gmail dot com

--[[User:Null|Null]] 20:24, 29 January 2013 (PST)

=== Forum Setup ===
I sent a reply 2 hours after the original email, check your spam folder. I've already set up the forum. http://cwckiforums.com

I've registered you an account called Champthom with full admin powers. The password is in the email.

--[[User:Null|Null]] 13:56, 31 January 2013 (PST)

=== Email Received ===

I sent another email to your personal address. Let me know if you got it.

--[[User:Null|Null]] 18:34, 31 January 2013 (PST)

== Re: For Pete's Sake ==

Thanks, I'll remember that. [[User:Alan Pardew|Alan Pardew]] 00:05, 10 September 2013 (PDT)

== Sagas ==

I would like to ask you to please review the page on [[Saga|sagas]], as there has recently been the addition of a "Revalation [sic] Saga"--as though a new era is upon us. I am skeptical of its legitimacy, so I appreciate it if you took a look. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 00:48, 8 October 2013 (PDT)

Saga

2013-10-08T07:41:11Z

IwegalBadnik: Not a real saga. Quit adding this back.

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

The exact origin of the term "saga" being used to refer to these events in Chris's life is, as of yet, unknown. However, some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook|audiobook]] project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - 18 March 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June 2007 - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga (''August 2008 - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - 2012 (however it might be still going on)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January 2009 - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February 2009 - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga (''March 2009 - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's suicide.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''June 21, 2009 - 27 July 2011'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July, 2011.

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 30 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and is identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and Health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''pre-2005 - April 2013'')===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain. Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the longest saga to date, it's little wonder why [[Barb]] believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security. It appears, however the saga may be over for good. At least for now.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga (''April 5, 2010 - November 26, 2010'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.

===[[Tomgirl Saga]] (''28 April 2011 - 6 September 2011'')===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl Pictures}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, when Chris found out he was discovered on the forums, he decided to fight back by [[Calling Out]] various [[trolls]], demanding that they apologize and leave the Internet or they would have their information revealed and be trolled in return. He managed to drive away Surfshack Tito, before the saga was utterly derailed by the death of his father, [[Bob]].

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Saga

2013-10-06T05:22:12Z

IwegalBadnik: Removing "suggested" saga; request review by administrator/sysop

Chris and health

2013-09-17T07:57:14Z

IwegalBadnik: Tense

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris's [[Chris and Hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]

[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to bathe, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, and [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]].

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food-lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to four times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely.

Chris claims that he cooks for himself four or five days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cook books.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video (an incredibly basic dish), he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwavable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[Coca-Cola|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Eat out with family (fast food) or poorly cooked/microwave meal.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other foods of any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7|Kacey Call #7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]] (Has closed its doors in Charlottesville)
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Exercise==
[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]]]
<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere thirty seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles (8 km) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as long as a week at a stretch. The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his low quality videos. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his hair, which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities such as bathing or showering, even if briefly. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]], and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems have become more severe in recent years.

{{clear}}

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered [[Manchester High School|high school]]. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[dirty crapped briefs|dirty]], which will not help to correct his vision. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Sonchu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[My Coke Rewards|carbonated]] [[fanta|drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}

==Mental health==

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris remaining a [[virgin]] until very recently, and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Whether or not Chris's encounter with a prostitute will affect his self-perception and maturity has yet to be seen. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

In the July 2012 [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jailtime in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which means that Chris may soon be forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "Counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned.

Another mental factor that has affected Chris's overall health is [[stress]]. In August 2013, Chris indicated that the stress he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. It's not unlikely, especially if you take into account Chris's other problems above.

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease]), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive and Chris has other, more important, things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref>

:'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He didn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Of course, with the possible revelation that he slept with a hooker in [[April 2012]], he may have to check himself once again.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. With enough isolation, this will most likely become permanent.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

List of places that have banned Chris

2013-09-09T03:33:49Z

IwegalBadnik: Come on guys, this sort of stuff should be dealt with sooner.

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Although he is a grown adult (at least physically), [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and Anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places. Because of his obnoxious behavior, Chris has been either temporarily or permanently '''banned''' from many places.

==Locations==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. [[Michael Snyder]] issued a final permaban on 28 August [[2008]], after Chris got confrontational with a [[niggos|black]] child, but even this failed to keep Chris away from the store. Following the events of the [[28 October 2011|October 28th incident]], Chris is now definitively banned by court order from ever re-entering the store.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was [[troll]]ing him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired. On 28 [[April 2012]], it's revealed he was banned again, this time from arguing with trolls loudly on his phone.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June [[2005]], the [[Niggos|African-American]] manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but Chris refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late [[2009]], he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

Proving he learns nothing, Chris was again banned in September [[2013]] after vandalizing an XBox One sign to read "[[HEXbox]] One," according to his [[Facebook#Chris_Expresses_His_Outrage_for_Walmart|Facebook post]] on 6 [[September 2013]]. In the ensuing Facebook posts, he blames almost everyone else but himself for the ban, including [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his defense attorney [[Rob Bell]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. When the issue was pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

==Websites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without using the proper mature content filters. The first time was around [[May 2009]], most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 [[July 2009]].

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Wikipedia}}

On 1 May 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward for violating Wikipedia's policy on userpages and notability. When he attempted to contest this course of action, his user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_%28Internet%29 sockpuppet] of a troll and not the genuine article). As of now, the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from ever being recreated.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 [[July 2010]]. Chris has since evaded his ban.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "[[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Wolf Cub Scouts]]" in the late [[1980s]] because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|a Mailbag]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st [[birthday]], 24 February [[2003]]. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to [[Emily]], however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October [[2003]], Dean of Student Services [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex on campus. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a [[Autism papers|psychiatrist]] and go to anger management classes (neither of which seems to have helped).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in [[2008]]. He claimed in an email with [[lordsillynipples]], "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of [[Women's rights|women in bikinis]] on my [[Facebook]]; he was offended." Going by his frequent threats to use his new congregation as a personal army, it is not unlikely that Chris was booted out of the church when he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that Mr. Hartless would incite the congregation into raiding the ED page for Chris.

===Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church===
{{main|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church}}

A [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] leaked on 30 March 2013 revealed that some time between [[July 2011]] and [[March 2013]], Chris had earned himself a temporary ban from Wesley Methodist, probably because he had repeatedly (and annoyingly) aired his endless grievances about [[trolls]] during the homily.

{{quote|I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced.|Chris, on how his own church is now playing [[Kick the Autistic]]}}

{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

2005

2013-09-01T00:15:44Z

IwegalBadnik: Tense/additional adjective

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0790-CMas05-5.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2005'''.]]
[[Image:Jerkops2004.jpg|thumb|Chris, in trouble with the [[Jerkop]]s.]]
[[Image:078-StarFront.jpg|thumb|A Sonichu-star Chris created in '''2005'''.]]
[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|On '''29 March 2005''', [[Anna McLerran]] tells Chris that his [[Hanna|date]] was a troll.]]
[[Image:Sprung-20041214044341754.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April 2005''', Chris's letter about ''[[Sprung]]'' is featured in ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''.]]
[[Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|thumb|On '''17 June 2005''', Chris went to the [[Mid Atlantic Animé convention]].]]
[[Image:Target Charlottesville.jpg|thumb|On '''20 July 2005''', Chris was arrested for loitering at his local [[Target]].]]
[[Image:0654-CWCsCar.JPG|thumb|On '''28 July 2005''', Chris is arrested for bad driving.]]
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|On '''5 November 2005''', Chris gets his first e-mail from [[Megan]].]]

The year '''2005''' was, in retrospective, Christian's most productive year, resulting in him drawing 4 issues of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]].

Because of his expulsion from [[PVCC]], Chris had a lot of free time on his hands, allowing him to put much more effort into his [[love quest]]. June and July were tumultuous, characterized by a series of fights between Christian and the local authorities. These clashes resulting in a trial, and, according to Chris, severe traumatic scarring.

In 2005 Christian also gained two of his most renowned friends, [[Anna McLerran]] and [[Megan Schroeder]]. The first, a Mormon Pac Sun employee, Chris met while [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|pacing the mall]] on his [[love quest]]. The second, an insecure female otaku, he met playing ''[[Yu-gi-oh!]]'' at his [[The Game Place|local game store]].

==Events of 2005==
* Summer - Chris meets [[Megan]] whilst playing [[Yu-gi-oh!]]
* Unknown - Chris has a [[dream]] in which the Grim Reaper tells him that Bob will not die until 2015.
===January===
* January 9 - Christian sends in a personal ad to ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''.
* January 29 - An "Abercrombie modle" who likes Sonic & Pokémon writes in Chris's guestbook, saying that she's seen him at the mall, but can't go up to him because the way he paces is so intimidating.
* January 29 - Another "hot girl" writes in Chris's guestbook, saying that he is a really down to earth guy, and he can meet her if he goes to Chick-fil-A.

===February===
*February 3 - Chris registers at the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim message boards]].
* February 5 - [[Anna McLerran]] writes "[[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]]", an eyewitness report of Chris's [[Love Quest]]. Later, she becomes friends with Chris.
* February 24 - Christian is snowed in, and therefore can't celebrate his 23rd birthday. It is postponed to the 26th.
* February 24 - Christian records his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]]. Submitted to Adult Swim.
* February 26 - Chris celebrates his 23rd birthday at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] with his friends and parents.
* February - ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #7 comes out.

===March===
* March 15 - [[Sonichu 0|Premiere issue]] of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]] (#0) is finished.
* March 15 - Christian publishes Issue #0 online.
* March 29 - Chris is approached by [[Hanna]] at the mall. Hanna asks him out for coffee, and he is thrilled that his [[Love Quest]] has been completed. After the informal date, Anna McLerran reveals to Chris that Hanna was [[troll]]ing him. He gets Hanna to confirm the truth and shouts "NOOOOOOOOO!" Chris writes about the incident in his [[CWC's Diary]] and adapts the story into [[Sub-Episode 2]]. Chris's outburst gets him banned from the mall (again) by [[ScotPalazzo]].
* March 31 - Christian draws ''[[Sonichu 1|Sonichu #1]]''.
* March 31 - ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #8 comes out.
* March 31 - Chris updates [[Story of My Current Days]], and renames it to ''Story of my Love Quest Days''.

===April===
* April 5 - Christian's personal ad is featured in [[NP magazine]].
* April 13 - A [[University of Virginia]] student blogs about her sighting of Chris at Alderman Library.<ref>[http://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html]</ref>
* April 24 - Christian draws ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]''.
* April - ''Sonichu's News Dash'' #9 comes out.

===May===
* May 25 - Christian uploads [[CWC's Cool Profile]] on AOL.

===June===
* June 17–19 - Christian attends the [[Mid Atlantic Animé convention]].
* June 20 - Christian draws ''[[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]]''.
* June 20 - Chris is at the McDonald's in his local Wal-Mart when he is confronted by [[Merried Seinor Comic]] and [[B-Manajerk]], who call the police when he refuses to cooperate. Chris hides his [[Attraction Sign]] so he won't be accused of solicitation again, but he is kicked out of McDonald's for the day.
* June 22 - Christian returns to McDonald's, and has another argument with the B-Manajerk. B-Manajerk asks [[W-M-Manajerk]] to intervene, but Chris refuses to speak to all men except his father. Chris flees, flipping them off and issuing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]s, and apparently almost hits one of the [[Manajerk]]s with his car. He speaks to Anna McLerran, who suggests sharing his story with the press; he gives up when he cannot find a non-male to speak with at the newspaper office. Finally, he reports the events of June 20–22 in his diary. These events would later be adapted in [[Sub-Episode 4]] and [[Sub-Episode 5]].
* June - ''Sonichu's News Dash'' #10 comes out. This is the final issue.

===July===
* July 20 - At [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], Chris is confronted by Manajerks for his loitering. When Chris refuses to leave, the police are summoned, and he is physically subdued and arrested. Chris is charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing; [[Marcus Baggett]] is the arresting officer. He is released into the custody of his family before the end of the day, and he writes in his diary about the [[stress]] of being crushed under the weight of the [[Jerkops]] and losing circulation in his hands from the handcuffs. These events would be dramatized later in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]].
* July 28 - Christian is arrested for "following too close" in his car. He claims that he caused an accident after a "math problem" got stuck in his head.
* July 29 - Christian goes to court for the trouble he made at Target. He is not punished.

===August===
* August - Christian organizes Anna's farewell party.
* August - Chris hits on at least two girls on [[MySpace]].
* August 28 - Chris gets charged with trespassing.<ref>[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=MvBS3WP5u1YKSX9H%2bvB48vw%2bQwb9wuJ07KB2ZQBBrmg%3d&input=name]</ref>
* August 28 - Chris tailgates a cop.<ref>[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=MvBS3WP5u1YKSX9H%2bvB48vw%2bQwb9wuJ07KB2ZQBBrmg%3d&input=name]</ref>

===September===
* September 1 - Christian is arrested.
* September 4 - In a MySpace conversation, Chris notes that he will be eating at Golden Corral with his family tomorrow from 3:30 to 4:45.
* September 6 - First hearing in the case against Christian concerning his arrest on July 20.
* September 12 - First and last hearing in the case against Christian concerning his arrest on July 28. He is fined $30, and has to pay $56 in costs.

===October===
* October 4 - Second and last hearing in the case against Chris concerning his arrest on July 20 (Nolle Prosequi, not prosecuted).
* October 26 - Chris sends [[Chris emails 2004-2006#October 2005|an e-mail]] to Nintendo, requesting to test games for them.
* October 27 - Chris receives an email from Nintendo, denying his request to become a video game tester.

===November===
*A letter from Chris, whining about his [[Love Quest]], is published in ''[[Shoujo Beat]]''.<ref>[[:Image:Shoujobeatchrischanletter.jpg]]</ref>
* November 1 - First Megan e-mail: she asks Chris to buy ''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|The Adventures of Tintin]]''.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2005-2006]]</ref>
* November 2 - Christian draws [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]].

===December===
* December 20 - Megan tells Christian she doesn't like him kissing her, and she doesn't want a boyfriend.
* December 29 - Chris sets up his first [[deviantART]] page, "Sonichu."<ref>[http://sonichu.deviantart.com/]</ref>
==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg

2013-06-19T11:08:12Z

IwegalBadnik: Adding grammatical note; "less" versus "fewer" (quality versus quantity)

With his failure to use [[Chris and English|proper English]], [[Chris]] should probably use this card to apologize to his teachers.
[[Category: Scrapbook images]]
[[Category: Custom Yu-Gi-Oh! cards]]

Honor roll

2013-01-01T09:12:18Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

{{protip|It has so far unknown whether or not Chris really did make the honor roll. [[China]] or [[pickles]] and a place in the Trolling Hall of Fame awaits anyone who can conclusively prove or disprove Chris's honor roll status.}}

[[Image:0558-ChrisChanOfY2KClass.jpg|thumb|right|The white sash says Chris made the honor roll, but the [[The creepy stare|slack-jawed stare]] says so much more.]]

{{quote|No solamente con ellos, pero con mis puntos de HONOR ROLL. ¡Bueño! [sic]|Ricardo Weston Chandler <ref>Translation: Not lonely with them, but with my points of HONOR ROLL. Good!</ref>}}

{{quote| I AM HONOR ROLL!| [[Liquid Chris]]}}

{{quote|HONOR ROLL MY ASS|[[Vivian Gee]], [[Audiobooks]]}}

Chris's presence on the '''honor roll''' in [[high school]] is something he often brings up as evidence of his [[Slow-in-the-minds|intelligence]]. Despite his insistence to the contrary, Chris's past behavior and obvious gullibility, poor communication and self-delusion cast doubt upon this claim. Chris likes to boast of his honor roll status wherever possible, due to it being the closest thing in his life to an actual accomplishment.

==Where Chris has claimed Honor Roll status==
Chris has trumpeted his honor-roll status in a number of his documents and videos.

*In [[Sub-Episode 2]], Chris drops the honor-roll line in a post-script to his unsolicited follow-up email to [[Hanna]]. Because the girl who just deliberately [[troll]]ed your [[heart level]] down to 15% will flip for you if you're on the honor roll.
*In his [[Miyamoto emails|e-mails]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], he apparently thought making the honor roll would impress a world-renowned game designer.
*Likewise, he mentioned the honor roll early in his [[Blanca E-mails|e-mail exchanges with Blanca]].
*The honor roll gets a shout-out in the lyrics to "[[A-U-T-I-S-M]]" by [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]].
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia autobiography]] prominently mentioned the honor roll.
*In his [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|Asperger's rant]], Chris cited making the honor roll as one of many ways in which he overcame the obstacles presented by his [[autism]], and how he is apparently better than those with [[Aspergers]].
*In his [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|first public plea for understanding on YouTube]], Chris mentioned the honor roll in passing.
*Chris's first [[OkCupid]] profile from [[February 2009]] announces that he made the honor roll.
*In [[CWC Update 29 July 2009]], Chris bragged about his "honor roll points" as one of the many qualities that apparently set him apart from [[Liquid Chris]].
*In response, Liquid Chris picked up the honor-roll catchphrase himself, using it in one of their arguments over the phone.<ref>[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]</ref>
*In the [[Autism Awareness E-mails]], Chris mentioned making the honor roll as one reason why he did not need a caretaker or other supervision.

==Chris made the honor roll?==
In Chris's graduation pictures from both high school and college, he is wearing a sash that generally indicates graduating with honors. This only means so much without additional context, though. Depending on his school's standards for who winds up on the honor roll, it may not represent that impressive an achievement, especially if Chris was able to rack up the required grade point average with remedial course work instead of normal classes. In some schools, the only requirement is a minimum GPA, so anyone with a GPA of, say, 3.5, is on the honor roll, even if every single course was a remedial course. For what it's worth, the psychiatrist who conducted Chris's [[autism papers|intake survey]] in [[2004]] noted that Chris took regular classes in high school, but he may have only had Chris's word for that. It's also noted that often times with honor roll, it's not hard to get honor roll if you have done all your homework and class work and did adequate on tests, even in a normal class setting. So, A in homework, and C in tests, MIGHT average to the B area, at least enough to be considered in the honor roll.

On the other hand, it's not completely out of the question to consider that Chris might have been able to get decent grades in school. His emotional and social issues have always made judging his actual intelligence a little tricky. In "[[Song of Christian]]", he is enraged to receive an "F" in English, suggesting that he usually got good grades, and also rages: ''"I mean, I started off with an "A" and you just lowered it, lowered, lowered it!"'', indicating that he initially made good grades in the class, but for one reason or another, they slipped into "F"'s before long.

Chris's basic cognitive functions work fine, as the 2004 psychiatric survey confirmed, and in some respects he seems to be no less intellectually capable than many ordinary people. He has a reasonable facility with [[computers]] and technology, for instance. At the same time, his laziness, [[naïve|naïveté]], [[Chris and his ego|egotism]] and [[Chris and sex|raging hormones]] have obviously led him to ever-increasing depths of self-destructively foolish behavior. The Miyamoto saga offers an interesting example of this contrast: Chris was bright enough to eventually work out that the e-mails he received from "Miyamoto" came from an easily-spoofed domain... but then if he weren't so blinded by his ego, he would never have believed that [[Nintendo]] was interested in his [[Sonichu|shitty knockoff character]] in the first place.

So, is Chris too stupid to have made the honor roll? Maybe. Is Chris too gullible, arrogant, and led about by his [[duck]] to function in real life? Definitely.

One would think that all Chris needs to do is to post his grades in order to end the doubts to his alleged intelligence. Sadly, according to [[Mailbag 19]], Chris's report card papers are said to be locked away beyond his reach (which could mean a number of things - they could be locked away, buried under the piles of shit that litter his house, he doesn't have them anymore and he doesn't want to reveal that to others, or he's just too lazy to get up and find them), we may never know the truth until something finally snaps and he's able to get them. On the other hand, he's probably had them all along, and would never reveal them because they prove that he's the dumbfuck we know him to be.

Contradictorily, Chris also claims that the grades testifying to honor roll status are a matter of [[Mailbag 21#When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards|public record]], but was too lazy to procure them himself. [[Trolls|Those]] who have (or desire) access to the Chesterfield County Public Schools hall of records should take note; transcripts are not too difficult to obtain.

It is noteworthy that [[Bob Chandler|Chris' father]] stated in a Prank Call that Chris did not, in fact, make the Honor Roll.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npFYbb2sccs</ref> It is possible that Bob was either mistaken, lying or progressing into senility.

==Notes and references==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Manchester High School]]
*[[Slow-in-the-minds]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

File:Thats not a knoife..jpg

2013-01-01T09:05:25Z

IwegalBadnik: Adding a little more Dundee spoofing onto this spoof.

Just [[Chris]] havin' fun.

George W. Bush

2012-12-28T04:32:16Z

IwegalBadnik: Proper formatting

{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]</ref>}}

[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|Dubya warning of the new "Axis of Evil", consisting of Mary Lee Walsh, Jerkops, trolls and boyfriends.]]

'''George W. Bush''' (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|6 July 1946]]) served as the 43rd President of the [[United States]] from 2001 to 2009. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency.

==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]==
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! >8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}

Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers. The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.

==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}

==Superfluous use of "Jr."==
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]</ref>

==ED edit==
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].

{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush<ref><s>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997405266&oldid=1997404425</s></ref>}}

Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Barack Obama]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Bob Chandler]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, George W.}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Pre-1980

2012-12-28T04:31:20Z

IwegalBadnik: Adding Bush's DOB

This page covers events in [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]] occurring '''before 1980'''.
==Timeline==
===Pre-1900===
*'''c. 1499/1500 – 19 July 1543''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Mary Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''c. 1501/07 – 19 May 1536''' - life of [[Anne Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.
*'''1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/35''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''1620''' - The ''Mayflower'' sails, allegedly with [[Daniel Weston]] aboard.
*'''1723''' - Foundation of [[Ruckersville]].
*'''1762''' - Foundation of [[Charlottesville]].

===1900s===
*No events.
===1910s===
*'''18 July 1913''' - Birth of [[Red Skelton]].
===1920s===
*'''4 September 1927''' - Birth of [[Bob Chandler]].
===1930s===
*'''1935''' - Bob begins collecting stamps.
*'''26 January 1936''' - Birth of [[Aunt Corrina]].
===1940s===
*'''1 October 1941''' - Birth of [[Barbara]].
*'''6 July 1946''' - Birth of [[George W. Bush]].
*'''1947-49''' - Bob is drafted into the U.S. Army and is stationed in Korea with the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]].<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWYHFIKXJY</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

===1950s===
*c. '''1949-54''' - Bob comes home after a 21-month tour of duty<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_Training_and_Service_Act_of_1940#After_WWII]</ref> and goes to college (two years of pre-engineering in a small school and an engineering degree in [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn]]) under [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|the G.I. Bill]] and later starts his engineering career.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
*'''1956''' - Birth of [[Michael Snyder]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]</ref>
*'''1957''' - Birth of [[Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
*'''20 July 1958''' - Birth of [[BILLY MAYS]]

===1960s===
*'''16 June 1961''' - Barbara marries Ran Coleman Yeatts.
*'''4 August 1961''' - Birth of [[Barack Obama]].
*'''28 November 1962'''<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]</ref> - Birth of [[David Chandler]]
*'''24 July 1963''' - Birth of [[Cole Smithey]].
*'''7 July 1969''' - Birth of [[Carol Chandler]].

===1970s===
*'''4 July 1976''' - Birth of [[Clyde Cash]].
*'''1977''' - [[14 Branchland Court]] is built.
*'''1979''' - Bob and Barbara meet.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref>
*'''14 December 1979''' - Birth of [[Joseph Herring]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

George W. Bush

2012-12-28T04:30:08Z

IwegalBadnik: Adding DOB

{{quote|There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — You can't get fooled again. |George W. Bush}}
{{quote|HE UPLOADED the pics I SENT to him onto the ED page. It was NOT MY FAULT, because he FOOLED ME ONCE, Shame on HIM.|Christian W. Chandler<ref>[[Chris_E-mails_2008#September]]</ref>}}

[[File:President-george-w-bush.jpg|thumb|250px|Dubya warning of the new "Axis of Evil", consisting of Mary Lee Walsh, Jerkops, trolls and boyfriends.]]

'''George W. Bush''' (born [[Pre-1980#1940s|July 6, 1946]]) served as the 43rd President of the [[United States]] from 2001 to 2009. He also appears to be [[JERKS#The_list_of_males_Chris_doesn.27t_hate|one of the few men on Earth Chris respects.]] Though Bush was President at the time Chris wrote that list, it is unclear if Chris means that he likes Bush personally, or just whoever happens to hold of the office at any given time. Bush's likeness was invoked multiple times by Chris during his Presidency.

==Role in the PVCC Crisis of [[2004]]==
{{quote|I got SUSPENDED FROM [[PVCC]] by the Board, and I have that Meddling XXXXX to thank for this as well. I am [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|SUPER ANGRY]]! >8( My [[Bob Chandler|Dad]] is blood-thirsty for revenge as well. He’s going to write to US PRESIDENT, George W. Bush Jr., and Laura Bush, to help me get allowed back to PVCC. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|WE ALL CURSE DEATH]] upon that XXXXX, [[Mary Lee Walsh]]!|Christian's blog, September 16, 2004}}

Surprisingly, President Bush did not intervene on behalf of the Chandlers. The ramifications of this inaction are sure to be debated by Presidential historians for centuries to come.

==Appearance in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
Despite Bush's refusal to help the Chandlers in 2004, Chris would honor him in [[2008]] by featuring him in the final issue of ''Sonichu'' produced before he left office. In it, Bush is seen tipping over a ladder being used by his eventual successor [[Barack Obama]] as he attempts to paint the White House black. Later in a Mumble chat, Chris stated that he believed that it was not a joke, but a legitimate theory that Obama might actually do such a thing.{{cite}}

==Superfluous use of "Jr."==
Like many other [[English]] mistakes he has made, Chris consistently calls him George W. Bush Jr. The Jr. is not needed, because the lone middle initial distinguishes him from his father [[Wikipedia:George H.W. Bush|George H.W. Bush]]. This may just be a cultural thing, however, as Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] also calls him George Bush Jr.<ref>[http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2010/03/green-zone.html]</ref>

==ED edit==
In an ED edit, Chris invoked President Bush in order to fight the slanderous [[trolls]] at [[ED]].

{{quotebox|Dahlings, by order of of President George Bush Junior, there shall be no naughty, grotesque posts of this dahling US citizen.

Any new posts, or deletion of this official message shall be found punishable to the fullest extent of American Law.

From the Secreterial Desk of the White House,

The President, George Bush |Chris, pretending to be George Bush<ref><s>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997405266&oldid=1997404425</s></ref>}}

Obviously, this had the complete opposite effect of what he had intended.

== Sources ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Barack Obama]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Bob Chandler]]

{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Bush, George W.}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

1980s

2012-12-28T04:17:15Z

IwegalBadnik: Removing confusing, unnecessary formatting

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Chris and his mom in the eighties.]]
[[Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris in '''1982''', bearing a striking resemblance to the baby from ''Eraserhead'', but less cute.]]
[[Image:0002-1-Baby_Chris_and_Mommy.jpg|thumb|Baby Chris and Barbara.]]
[[Image:0004-ChristopherDec1985.jpg|thumb|Chris and Barbara in '''1985'''.]]
[[File:Cwcbaby.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST BabyCWC]]
[[Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg|thumb|'''1986''']]
[[Image:0008-ChristopherShopping12-1986.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''1986'''.]]
[[Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg|thumb|'''1987''', Chris turns 5.]]
[[Image:0031-1-Chris_on_Pony.jpg|thumb|Poor pony.]]
[[Image:0031-EasterChristopher.jpg|thumb|Twenty years later, Chris himself would have a try at the [[Bunny Hop]].]]

The '''1980s''' were the decade in which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] was born, under the name Christopher Weston Chandler. (He wouldn't change his name until [[1994]].) According to Chris, he had a lot of trouble growing up, and even coped with a prolonged episode of muteness.

Source material referring to the 1980s is scarce, and this article is mostly based on statements made by Chris at a later age, and on image material.

==1980==
The year [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] got married.
===Events of 1980===
* Around this time, [[Cole]] moves away.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 1]]</ref>
* 7 June - Bob and Barbara get married.<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself#Family matters]]</ref><ref>[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]</ref>

==1981==
The last year of peace for Bob and Barbara Chandler. Unluckily for them, the happy couple filled their time with lots of unprotected love-making. During the second half on this year, Barbara would be pregnant.
===Events of 1981===
* c. 26 May - Bob and Barbara Chandler have sweaty old people sex. [[Christopher Weston Chandler]] is conceived.
*c. 26 November - Barbara's last chance to abort Chris.
==1982==
The year that began the entire sorry saga.
===Events of 1982===
* 24 February - Christopher Weston Chandler is born around 5:30 a.m. at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville]], [[Virginia]].<ref name="WikiProfile">[[Chris's Wikipedia profile]]</ref>
* 24 February - Chris is brought back to the Chandler [[house]]hold in [[Ruckersville]].<ref>According to Christian in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>
* April - Chris allegedly speaks his first word: "[[Niggos|monkey]]."<ref name="Song and Wikipedia">[[Song of Christian]] and [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>
* 13 October - [[Sarah Hammer]] is born.<ref name="LifeShares">[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#The Story]]</ref>

==1983==
Chris has stated that in '''1983''', he was abused by his [[babysitter]], "starting" his [[autism]]. On other occasions, however, Chris has said that he is aware of autism being a hereditary disease, making his "acquisition" of autism impossible.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> We can nonetheless assume that the abuse Christopher suffered in 1983 was traumatic and possibly exacerbated his condition.<ref>First statement was done in the [[Song of Christian]] video.</ref>

===Events of 1983===
* 24 February - Christopher's 1st birthday.
* August - Christopher's autism allegedly "begins." He claims the reason was an evil [[babysitter]] named [[Roach]], who locked him in a room. He becomes mute.<ref name="Song and Wikipedia" />

==1984==
In '''1984''', Chris lived his life in [[Richmond]] as a mute toddler. He himself declares that he gave his parents a lot of trouble, and he screeched a lot.<ref name="WikiProfile" /> It is possibly indicated that his parents held this against him at a later age, and didn't really like caring for the [[autistic]] child they had created themselves.

===Events of 1984===
* 24 February - Christopher's 2nd birthday.

==1985==
In '''1985''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1985===
* This year - Sarah Hammer and her family moves to Chris's neighborhood. The cordial relations that develops between the Hammer and Chandler couples lead to a (sort of) friendship between Chris and Sarah.<ref name="LifeShares" />
* 24 February - Christopher's 3rd birthday.
* April - Chris has his picture taken holding a [[4-cent garbage|leaf]].
* 12 August - birth of [[Jack Thaddeus]]
* December - Chris and Barbara have their picture taken with Santa Claus.

==1986==
In '''1986''', Chris is still a mute, screeching toddler.

===Events of 1986===
* 24 February - Christopher's 4th birthday.
* June - Chris has his picture taken at what seems to be a zoo.
* 23 July - Birth of [[Megan Schroeder]].
* December - Chris has his picture taken in front of a bathroom, and at a shopping mall.

==1987==
In '''1987''', Chris starts attending [[Greene County Primary School]]. It isn't known for sure if he attended pre-kindergarten before then.

===Events of 1987===
* 24 February - Christopher's 5th birthday. A paper hat is made in his honor.
* August/September - Chris begins kindergarten at [[Greene County Primary School]].

==1988==
In '''1988''', Chris starts first grade at Greene County Primary School, but he is still mute. Late [[1980s]], Chris joins the [[Chris and religion|Cub Scouts]].
===Events of 1988===
* Date unknown - [[Minor_Family_Members#Carol_Suzanne_Chandler|Carol Chandler]] wins the McShane Prize.
* 24 February - Christopher's 6th birthday.
* 17 March - [[Patti]] is born.<ref>As can be read on the doghouse in Sonichu #6: [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic7.htm]</ref>
* August/September - Chris begins first grade at Greene County Primary School.

==1989==
In '''1989''', helped by the language training at [[James Madison University]], Christopher starts talking again whilst reading a Gobot package.<ref>According to Christian in the Song of Christian video.</ref>.

===Events of 1989===
* Unknown - Chris claims that he had a dream that in which he saw himself with a daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], and working in an office.
* 24 February - Christopher's 7th birthday.
* August/September - Chris enters second grade at Greene County Primary School.
* December - The English conductor of the Regency Square Bear Band, Leonard Bearstein, mistakes Christopher's name for "Christian". According to Chris, this stuck, and would inspire his [[Christopher's name change|name-change]] in [[1994]],<ref name="dvd1">[[:Image:0060-CWCNote1.jpg|DVD, note 1]]</ref> though other sources state that this happened in [[1992]].
* 25 December - Chris gets his second gaming system, a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy, for Christmas.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Pre-1980

2012-12-28T04:16:29Z

IwegalBadnik: (Ditto)

This page covers events in [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]] occurring '''before 1980'''.
==Timeline==
===Pre-1900===
*'''c. 1499/1500 – 19 July 1543''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Mary Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''c. 1501/07 – 19 May 1536''' - life of [[Anne Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.
*'''1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/35''' - life of [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''1620''' - The ''Mayflower'' sails, allegedly with [[Daniel Weston]] aboard.
*'''1723''' - Foundation of [[Ruckersville]].
*'''1762''' - Foundation of [[Charlottesville]].

===1900s===
*No events.
===1910s===
*'''18 July 1913''' - Birth of [[Red Skelton]].
===1920s===
*'''4 September 1927''' - Birth of [[Bob Chandler]].
===1930s===
*'''1935''' - Bob begins collecting stamps.
*'''26 January 1936''' - Birth of [[Aunt Corrina]].
===1940s===
*'''1 October 1941''' - Birth of [[Barbara]].
*'''1947-49''' - Bob is drafted into the U.S. Army and is stationed in Korea with the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]].<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWYHFIKXJY</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

===1950s===
*c. '''1949-54''' - Bob comes home after a 21-month tour of duty<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_Training_and_Service_Act_of_1940#After_WWII]</ref> and goes to college (two years of pre-engineering in a small school and an engineering degree in [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn]]) under [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|the G.I. Bill]] and later starts his engineering career.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
*'''1956''' - Birth of [[Michael Snyder]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]</ref>
*'''1957''' - Birth of [[Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
*'''20 July 1958''' - Birth of [[BILLY MAYS]]

===1960s===
*'''16 June 1961''' - Barbara marries Ran Coleman Yeatts.
*'''4 August 1961''' - Birth of [[Barack Obama]].
*'''28 November 1962'''<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]</ref> - Birth of [[David Chandler]]
*'''24 July 1963''' - Birth of [[Cole Smithey]].
*'''7 July 1969''' - Birth of [[Carol Chandler]].

===1970s===
*'''4 July 1976''' - Birth of [[Clyde Cash]].
*'''1977''' - [[14 Branchland Court]] is built.
*'''1979''' - Bob and Barbara meet.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref>
*'''14 December 1979''' - Birth of [[Joseph Herring]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Pre-1980

2012-12-28T04:15:44Z

IwegalBadnik: Removing confusing, unnecessary formatting

This page covers events in [[CWCki:CWChronology|CWChronology]] occurring '''before 1980'''.
==Timeline==
===Pre-1900 (pre 82BCC)===
*'''c. 1499/1500 – 19 July 1543'''(482-439BCC) - life of [[Wikipedia:Mary Boleyn|Mary Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''c. 1501/07 – 19 May 1536'''(481-435BCC) - life of [[Anne Boleyn]], Chris's alleged ancestor.
*'''1 March 1577 – 13 March 1634/35'''(405-348BCC) - life of [[Wikipedia:Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland|Richard Weston, 1st Earl of Portland]], Chris's alleged ancestor.<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>
*'''1620''' (362BCC)- The ''Mayflower'' sails, allegedly with [[Daniel Weston]] aboard.
*'''1723'''(259BCC) - Foundation of [[Ruckersville]].
*'''1762'''(220BCC) - Foundation of [[Charlottesville]].

===1900s===
*No events.
===1910s===
*'''18 July 1913'''(69BCC) - Birth of [[Red Skelton]].
===1920s===
*'''4 September 1927'''(55BCC) - Birth of [[Bob Chandler]].
===1930s===
*'''1935'''(47BCC) - Bob begins collecting stamps.
*'''26 January 1936'''(46BCC) - Birth of [[Aunt Corrina]].
===1940s===
*'''1 October 1941'''(41BCC) - Birth of [[Barbara]].
*'''1947-49'''(35-33BCC) - Bob is drafted into the U.S. Army and is stationed in Korea with the [[Wikipedia:Signal Corps (United States Army)|Signal Corps]].<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWYHFIKXJY</ref><ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

===1950s===
*c. '''1949-54'''(33BCC-28BCC) - Bob comes home after a 21-month tour of duty<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_Training_and_Service_Act_of_1940#After_WWII]</ref> and goes to college (two years of pre-engineering in a small school and an engineering degree in [[Wikipedia:Auburn University|Auburn]]) under [[Wikipedia:G.I. Bill|the G.I. Bill]] and later starts his engineering career.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>
*'''1956'''(26BCC) - Birth of [[Michael Snyder]].<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic]</ref>
*'''1957'''(25BCC) - Birth of [[Matthew Devoria]], father of [[Kacey]].<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>
*'''20 July 1958''' (24BCC)- Birth of [[BILLY MAYS]]

===1960s===
*'''16 June 1961''' (21BCC)- Barbara marries Ran Coleman Yeatts.
*'''4 August 1961''' (21BCC)- Birth of [[Barack Obama]].
*'''28 November 1962'''(20BCC)<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/8/83/457-FamilyTreeTitle.JPG]</ref> - Birth of [[David Chandler]]
*'''24 July 1963'''(19BCC) - Birth of [[Cole Smithey]].
*'''7 July 1969'''(13BCC) - Birth of [[Carol Chandler]].

===1970s===
*'''4 July 1976'''(6BCC) - Birth of [[Clyde Cash]].
*'''1977'''(5BCC) - [[14 Branchland Court]] is built.
*'''1979'''(3BCC) - Bob and Barbara meet.<ref>[[Mumble 5]]</ref>
*'''14 December 1979'''(3BCC) - Birth of [[Joseph Herring]].

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

CWCki:CWChronology

2012-12-28T04:14:49Z

IwegalBadnik: This just adds unnecessary confusion.

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Professional-drinker.png|thumb|Average CWChronology employee.]]
[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|A timeline showing all the major [[Saga|historical eras]] in Chris's life.]]

The '''CWChronology''' (pronounced like "Quick-Chronology") is the timeline that documents every notable occurrence in [[Chris's]] life. It was started by Rach on [[2009#January|23 January 2009]], on the oldskool [[PVCC]], and since then it has been working like a news service. All data covering events prior to [[2009#January|23 January 2009]], have been gathered through historical research. On [[February 2009|16 February 2009]], the CWChronology moved to [[CWCki]], so that now everybody can edit it.

==Accessing the CWChronology==
From [[2000]] on, all years have separate articles. There are also articles for the [[1990s]], [[1980s]] and a single page for [[pre-1980]] events.

Years that have been covered in the CWChronology:
* [[2012]]
* [[2011]]
* [[2010]]
* [[2009]]
* [[2008]]
* [[2007]]
* [[2006]]
* [[2005]]
* [[2004]]
* [[2003]]
* [[2002]]
* [[2001]]
* [[2000]]
* [[1990s#1999|1999]]
* [[1990s#1998|1998]]
* [[1990s#1997|1997]]
* [[1990s#1996|1996]]
* [[1990s#1995|1995]]
* [[1990s#1994|1994]]
* [[1990s#1993|1993]]
* [[1990s#1992|1992]]
* [[1990s#1991|1991]]
* [[1990s#1990|1990]]
* [[1980s#1989|1989]]
* [[1980s#1988|1988]]
* [[1980s#1987|1987]]
* [[1980s#1986|1986]]
* [[1980s#1985|1985]]
* [[1980s#1984|1984]]
* [[1980s#1983|1983]]
* [[1980s#1982|1982]]
* [[1981]]
* [[1980]]
*[[Pre-1980]]

==CWChronology rules and style guide==
* Dates must somehow be relevant to Chris. For instance, trolling is only included in the CWChronology if it somehow affects Chris, otherwise it's not important enough. Exceptions can be made for dates that are relevant to the CWChronology itself.
* Lots of blue links. The CWChronology should be a portal to the rest of the [[CWCki]].
* Lots of images. This makes it moar fun browsing. Best way to not let the images fuck up the layout is to just list them at the top of the article (see [[2008]]). Also, make sure they are somewhat related to the text next to them.
* If two sources conflict, and give different dates for an occurrence, add them both, but mention the fact that the sources conflict.
* Occurrences in the ''Sonichu'' canon are also included, but they are noted as being in the ''Sonichu'' canon.
* Annotations aren't obligatory, but they are welcome. Especially if the date isn't considered as common knowledge, or if the inclusion is controversial.
* If multiple unrelated events take place on one day, they get separate entrances. They are listed in the order in which the events happened.
* Don't make style components up. It looks messy and will be reverted no matter how important the info is. Spare us and yourself the time.

==Tasks that are still to be done==
If you do a good job you can earn the CWChronology Iron Cross for this:
* Add Chris's fan chats and Mumble conversations from [[February 2009]] onwards to the CWChronology, with a one-sentence summary of their contents.
* <s>Write short summaries for the months from [[July 2009]] onwards, to go at the top of the article.</s>
* Sent e-mails containing notable information need to be added, with a one-sentence summary of their contents.

{{timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]
[[Category:CWCki projects]]

100 2357.MOV

2012-12-16T03:39:00Z

IwegalBadnik: Tense

'''100 2357.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 22 [[November 2010]]. For the sixth time, Chris announces he is to [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|leave the Internet]]. Chris also removed all his other [[YouTube]] videos around the time this one was uploaded. His [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] have still not been replaced or repaired properly.

Chris's speech implied that he would spend time outside of his [[14 Branchland Court|humble abode]] and attempt to socialize with others. Unsurprisingly, he instead spent the majority of his time playing [[PS3]] and making [[Little Big Planet]] mods. Chris would return to the Internet in full, complete with videos, roughly 8 months later.

{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2357.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eQqO3kFaV2w}}
| stardate = 22 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga =
| shirt = {{GreenWideLinesShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2278]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Attention! [[George W. Bush|Read my lips!]]

Online socialization... is a [[Muscle bra|bust]]. [[Chris and English|Socialize in real life is]] the tops.

And also: [[Calling Out|NO MORE VIDEOS!]]

Fuck you most ''[displays middle finger]'' and fuck you ''[shows other middle finger]'', social sites like [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]!

[''[[Pedo-glasses#Dramatic_glasses_removal|whips off his glasses and shakes out his hair]]'']

[[Gay|I'm out.]] ''[turns off the camera]''

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Christian Weston Chandler leaves the real world
| video = {{#ev:youtube|VprlzHU8MvI&feature=related}}
}}
What he was really trying to say.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2278]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out|Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]}}

{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-22]]

100 2278

2012-12-16T03:34:35Z

IwegalBadnik: Video was removed

[[File:Studalert.png|thumb|Chris (Farley) struggles even to hold on to the bar.]]

'''100 2278''' is a video [[Chris]] created on 12 [[October 2010]], at the behest of his [[sweetheart]] [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref> It leaked to the public the next month, on 6 [[November 2010]]. Chris attempts to do pull-ups, but shortly after beginning, gives up and admits defeat due to his [[obesity|weight]]. This event marks a historic day in CWC history as it is the first time we have witnessed Chris acknowledge that he is not, in fact, superhuman.

__TOC__
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2278
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XWTsHUjAwl8}}
| stardate = 6 [[November 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{RedYellowStripeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[ToJackie]]
| next = [[100 2357.MOV]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[''We see Chris's hands and knees on top of a jungle gym. He crawls backwards to grab hold of a horizontal bar.'']

[''Chris hangs from the bar, not far off the ground, for a few seconds. Quickly, the exertion causes him to lose his grip and drop to the ground.'']

[''Chris grunts and jumps up to grab the bar again.'']

Ugh...

[''He quickly falls back down, and then looks to the camera.'']

Alright, fine, I can't do a pull up. At least I tried.

[''Chris springs up and tries to grab the bar again.'']

Still tryin'.

[''Chris makes grunting and gasping sounds.'']

Well, can't do it.

[''Chris tries to do a pull-up again with visibly shaking arms, grunts and sighs.'']

Uh... Too sensitive to my... [''sound of slapping belly''] weight.

[''Chris walks off camera.'']

==Images==
Accompanying the leaked video were a selection of images, presumed to be ones Chris took for [[Jackie]].

{{Collapsible|Gallery|<gallery>
File:100_2242.JPG|The corner of Chris's room, with famous artifacts such as [[The Wall of Originals]], the [[Sailor Moon]] poster of Straightening, the [[Gitar of Fail]], and the [[fanbase|fan]] favorite, the [[The Simpsons#Marge poster|Marge poster]].
File:100_2243.JPG|The other corner has bunch of consoles. Clearly arranged in order of importance, otherwise he wouldn't put the Commodore 1541 disk drive on open and hide the [[Nintendo|Wii]] among the junk.
File:100_2244.JPG|The [[McIntire Park]] sign.
File:100_2245.JPG|The table with Lego blocks, also carrying ''Transformers'' and ''Sonic'' toys. Also a boatload of video tapes, CDs, magazines, yet another Gitar, and ironically a box or book cover whose only visible words are "the hidden".
File:100_2246.JPG|A view of the window and the chair, with too much junk to count.
File:100_2247.JPG|DVD shelves, a bunch of folders undoubtedly containing much the original hand-artery drawings of ''Sonichu'' comics, [[My Little Pony]]s, and in case you forgot this was Chris's room, two more Gitars of Fail.
File:100_2248.JPG|Game shelf meets the DVD shelf.
File:100_2249.JPG|The doorway that leads to sweet freedom ([[Tour of Chris's House|which is a lie]]). Giant game shelves. and the mysterious blinking light ball featured in many videos.
File:100_2250.JPG|A bit of the Sulking Couch beside the door and PSP/DS game shelf. Letter box labeled "current and important". Two posters for mass debation, and a badass chain or something.
File:100_2251.JPG|More video tapes and toys beside the Sulking Couch. Noticeable failure at photographing the ''Sonic'' trinket.
File:100_2252.JPG|Back to the first corner with the Wall of Originals and Marge poster.
File:100_2253.JPG|Female martial artists are awesome! ...Except that's not a martial arts move. And that's not a female either. We've been duped!
File:100_2296.JPG|Now with extra [[Plush Breasts of Fail|boobage]].
File:100_2299.JPG|'''TITTY MONSTER'''
File:BeatSketcher20101012.png|Has Chris been improving his art during the dry spell? '''[[Chris and art|SPOILER: NO]]'''
File:ccsonichu.jpg|Chris's [[Chris-chan Sonichu|fursona]], from ''[[ECV 00002]]''.
</gallery>}}

==Fan videos==
{{Collapsible|Videos|{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chan's Dream
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rwGzjMECCAw}}
| stardate = 8 [[November 2010]]
| maker = raoulduke138
| subject = | type = | info = }}}}
== External links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?8ca48v808ae5m0p Download Archive]
* [http://goo.gl/AeGkP Mirror]
==Sources==
<references/>
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[ToJackie]]|nextlink=[[100 2357.MOV]]}}

{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Power videos}}
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]
[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-12]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, November 2010| 2010-11-06]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-11-06]]

Barbara Chandler

2012-12-10T02:05:09Z

IwegalBadnik: Spelling; guilt by association

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice.}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara has lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref>
However, taking into account her age, laziness, and stubborn personality, it seems highly unlikely Barbara lost weight by exercise and\or dieting. It is perhaps possible Barbara is suffering from a specific disease, like [[Wikipedia:Diabetes|Diabetes]], especially considering [[McDonalds|all]] [[restaurants|the crap]] the Chandlers are known to eat.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating Education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

9 December 2009

2012-12-09T19:42:10Z

IwegalBadnik: Spelling

In "'''9 December 2009'''" (officially "'''12092009.mp4'''"), Chris complains about [[Jack Thaddeus]]' [[homos]]exual ads on his [[CWCipedia]] and demands that his fans in Europe donate him €1,000. Chris also states that he's heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane is planning on including him in a future ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode. Chris then pitches his idea for a [[Sonichu]]-themed ''Family Guy'' episode and ends his video by declaring that he has a special new [[gal-pal]] in mind to voice [[Rosechu]].

Chris also leaves his cell phone number in the description, thinking MacFarlane will read it for some strange reason. However, MacFarlane obviously has better things to do than to listen to bad ideas by [[Obesity|obese]] manchildren, so Chris basically created another way to get trolled by his fans.

His episode idea essentially amounts to Meg falling in love with him because of the [[CWCipedia]] and inviting him to an animation festival in Quahog. The festival subplot is (surprise!) completely forgotten at this point as the rest of the story is just about Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu hanging out with the Griffin family. Sonichu and Rosechu offer [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian Griffin]] some [[dating education]].

This video saw the return of the poor, tortured [[PSEye]] camera who, loyal as a [[Patti Chandler|dog]], still records for Chris.
==Video==

{{quotebox|
To Seth McFarline: I am addressing you; you may respond by calling my cell phone number at 434-760-0848, and Leave a Message with a Call-Back Number, so we can discuss the episode(s) plans. Thank You.}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = 12092009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|g-12ug1cT0Q}}
| stardate = 9 [[December 2009]]
| subject = {{Homos|text}}, {{Rumours|text}}, {{Galpals|text}}
| shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Holiday Greetings]]
| next = [[Fanmail Reading]]
}}

{{quote|I have my own story for at least one episode, and I'm willing to go multiple episodes in agreement with Seth McFarlane and the crew.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate December 9th 2009.

I am doing this through the [[PlayStation Eye]], and Eye-Create once again, because my digital camera is fickle on battery power. The batteries should—are still good compared to—as—respectively noted on the battery tester I have, but, unfortunately, it goes down quickly, it goes up; it's variable, so forget digital camera. Anyway... aside from the impossible skips that may occur, I am here to make a few announcements. First off I have said the, uhh, CWCipedia, I, uhh, am looking to my European fans to make donations to the CWCipedia. Not only to, uhh, keep it up, but to help get rid of the God. Dang. Sh—horrible [''removes glasses, shakes head, then whispers''] homosexual ads that dang [[Jack Thaddeus]] put on there. [''exhales sharply and shakes head''] Anyway, donations are greatly appreciated, and, uhh, as they have noted on there, those who donate over 1,000 euros, place to—get to place their own ads there, no questions asked. And, uh—as for—with that out there—would like—also am looking for sponsors. And, uh—I am looking maybe towards the Coca-Cola company, for them to sponsor the CWCipedia, plus the Sonichu franchise. At least the Coca-Cola company in Europe—in European area, to make the donation to put their ads all over on the CWCipedia adspace. [''spoken under breath''] At least to get rid of those God-dang—[''shakes head''] but, yeah. Coca-Cola.

And, uhh—and, uhh, let's see. With that said, I note, I have an understanding that, uhh, there may be—there are rumors going around about, uhh, people who—about the people who do animation for ''[[Family Guy]]'', thinking about making a, uhh, skit, in parody, in, uhh—not in, uhh, mockery [[parody]] of me on the show, but I would like to, uhh, make it clear that I don't want just a skit. If you're going to do anything of me, I would like to be involved and voice myself in the show, as well as—as well as the Sonichu character. Now I have my own story for at least one episode, and I'm willing to go multiple episodes in agreement with Seth McFarlane and the crew. Anyway, first off the rumored, drawn version of me that, uhh, looks like a Cleveland junior clone, NO. But, I have watched all the episodes of ''Family Guy'', regardless of weight, and I drew a good version of myself, with these drawings I'm gonna show on here and put on the CWCipedia a little later on tonight... along with sixth page.
[[Image:FamilyGuyChris.JPG|thumb|We all know that should be [[Sammy]].]]
[[Image:FamilyGuySonichuAndRosechu.JPG|thumb|You can't see it in the thumbnail, but Sonichu's lips are fucking terrifying.]]

[''Chris holds a picture of himself drawn in ''Family Guy''-style up to the camera. It looks nothing like him.'']

Anyway, there you go, that's a good version of me right there, to draw with the show.

[''Chris puts the image of himself down and holds up a picture of Sonichu and Rosechu. It looks exactly like every other picture of them he's drawn.'']

Like I said, it will be up on the CWCipedia later. And this here's a ''Family Guy'' version of Sonichu and Rosechu that I drew up. I even whittled it down and gave them each only four fingers. As you can see from here... and as it will be more—as it will be made more clear when they are uploaded on the CWCipedia later.

Also, yeah, my story idea. I have not written it up yet, but I am going—but I am going—I am planning on doing that. But, right off the bat, I have a start. Okay, here's the scenario for a story: [[Megan]]—Meg, is a fan—will be—will be a fan of my ''Sonichu'' comics. She goes onto the CWCipedia, reads [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|every new page I put up]], and she just really—and she just really adores me for, uhh, being a kind man and, uhh, all the [[Lie|good]] things about me, ''aside'' from the vicious rumors that trolls put up, especially like on the [[ED]] page, and then she sends—she puts a letter, a message in the CWCipedia mailbox... [''nervous from the thought of girl (fictional or non-) talking to him''] and it's just like, "Why don't you come down to Ro—Qua—Quahog? We got, like, uhh... a—an animation fest coming up. Uhh, you could come part—you could come participate, show off your Sonich—show off your Sonichu and stuff, and, uhh... [[Third date|meet with me]]."

That's what she would say. And I was like, "Hmm... yes." But then we cut... to, uhh, later on during the animation festival, and, uhh... and sure enough, [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|come]] up—[''gibberish''] in [[Son-Chu|my car]], and Megan—and [[:Image:Chris-chan_Traced_2.JPG|Megan's dere... with me]], and, uhh, it's all—uh, it's all—it's all ver—it's all—it's nice little meeting of... you know, between me and the family—and the family dere. And then, also, you know—and, also, after the [[rape|meet-and-greet there]]... um, I bring my two [[S-Chu Balls|Sonichu Balls]], and, uhh...—and [[How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls|release Sonichu and Rosechu]]... into the ''Family Guy'' world. And then they—and then they get to—and then they get together. Then, they greet the family, and, uhh, everybody meets, and... also, you know, they have a knowledge of what's going with Brian, as for me, as I've seen all the ''Family Guy'' episodes.

Mm, so... I have for story in this episode: Sonichu and Rosechu... help hook-up Brian and help him to maintain a relationship that he can actually, uhh, do better-off with, 'cuz... yeah, he's definitely [[Kacey|screwed up a few times]]. [[PandaHalo|No doubt about that.]]

Anyway, let's see, what else? Mm, yeah, that's fairly much what I have so far. More to—more to be revealed as I... wri—as I type it up. But—which, uhh, you know, these, uh, three images, as well as that story, will be put on the, uhh, [''air quotes''] ''Family Guy'' page on the CWCipedia, which I will create later night, to start off.

But, of course, starting off as such, uhh, I will put my own opinions about some of the aspects of ''Family Guy''—at least, uh, my humble opinions—and, definitely, you know, [''acting as though he's actually standing up for a real person''] Meg does not deserve to be treated as she does. She's definitely a very beautiful girl. I don't care what anybody says; she's beautiful in my eyes....

Anyway... also with that, uhh, there's also some other opinions—another opinion tonight. Oh, and I would definitely say this to Stewie in his face and [''inaudible'']: you know, Stewie... [[Wikipedia:Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|you should have let that tower '''fall on you''']]. Then, at least in the future, you'd have ended up [[homos|straight]]!

Yeah, let's see if Stewie responds [to] that.

[''sigh''] Anyway, let's see.... What else...? Yeah, and another thing, also, I would like to—also, on that—on that page, I would address the, uh, rumor, about, on the "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]" episode, where Seth got the bathroom sketch from a [''holds up hands''] ''Ghostbusters'' skit that I drew in, uhh, [[Sonichu 7|book number seven]]... I definitely put out(?) the question if(?), you know, [''squeaky falsetto''] he actually [[copyright|borrowed that from me]], but, you know, either way, I'm [[lies|cool]]. I'm just wanted to make sure, because... I don't know until I ask him personally.

Mm. Anyway, uh, that and... other things on my mind I'm not sure about, but... I can't rough(?) them outta my head right now, but they are noted on the Captain's Log... and in the previous entries on the CWCipedia.

I am Christian Weston Chandler. Thank you very much, and have a good evening.

[''Chris totally fakes us out'']

And another thing I'm not sure I even mentioned in the video... or till now: if this—if this show does go in process, like I said, I definitely want to voice myself and Sonichu. As for [[Rosechu]], I have a [''vocal squeak''] [[galpal]]... that I—that—that has close—that is close—and, uhh, I trust [her]. She is not [a troll], but, uhh... we are good friends, and I feel that she has a great voice. '''She could voice Rosechu very well'''. [''dramatic glasses removal''] I mean that. Okay...

Anyway... have a good day. Be safe.

[''gives us a thumbs-up, trying to fake us out once more'']

[''with arms spread and speaking in a really, really cool voice''] [[Random-access humor|'''I'm the man!''' ...And I'm straight, so... yes!]]

[''shakes head in self-disapproval'']

==See also==
*''[[Family Guy]]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Holiday Greetings]]|nextlink=[[Fanmail Reading]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, December 2009| 2009-12-09]]
[[Category: CWCipedia Saga videos| 2009-12-09]]
[[Category: Videos about homos| 2009-12-09]]

Talk:Asperger syndrome

2012-12-03T06:09:35Z

IwegalBadnik: /* Updates needed */ new section

the title of the page is "Asperger syndrome" but it's consistently referred to as "Asperger's syndrome" throughout the article. should this be edited for consistency or does it even matter -[[User:Phlegethon|Phlegethon]] 00:42, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

The TRUE and HONEST spelling is "Asperger syndrome", but I don't think it really matters which we use. -[[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 5 July 2010

==A Doubt==

Do we really needs that page? Chris is surely raging against autism but until he gave us more on the subject than his "Foaming at the Mouth" tirade, I don't see the utility.

:I think there's enough out there to make a halfway decent article on this. I also think that there's no way this article could currently be considered "halfway decent".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:50, 8 December 2009 (CET)

*Yes. There's Chris's tirade but we need to keep track of his history of hating people with Asperger's (like find the earliest mention of Chris saying the two aren't the same), in addition to the drama on the Mailbag about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:52, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==I know===

I only added the basics, so other people could add to it -[[User:CJB8895|Cody]]

==Study==

*I added a study that shows how Chris is wrong. Rarely you get to see Chris' fail scientifically substantiated on this wiki. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 12:18, 8 December 2009 (CET)
:* And cleared up the text, added a quote. The usual. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 19:09, 8 December 2009 (CET)

==Outline/To do==
Okay, since people aren't sure how to elaborate this article, here's a suggested outline:
*brief explaination of what Asperger's is and how it's related on the autism spectrum
*Chris's thoughts on Asperger's - from "Asperger's isn't even autism/it's a memory disorder" ---> "THEY'RE STEALING THE LIME LIGHT FORM THE TRUE AUTISTICS." Incorporate the CWCipedia article on Aspergers.
*drama on the mailbag with Asperger e-mails.

This is just to start out with. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:15, 9 December 2009 (CET)

* Hey... Is there any way I could help? I actually have AS, and can look over on accuracy, and can point out opinions and how it differs among people. I'm aware that it's not the same with everyone who has it... I'm also attempting to get more info on Chris' insight. You'll have to tell me what you want... I'm not too good at deciding for myself, since I can have a meltdown trying to decide what's needed, what's wanted and what I've been told. But once it's all clarified, I usually get it all done pretty swiftly. Just bare with me... [[User:AsperGirl|AsperGirl]] 03:56, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

Should this and the Autism article be updated to reflect that Aspergers is being eliminated as a diagnosis and included as simply a part of the Autism spectrum in the new DSM? And has anyone rubbed that in Chris' face yet? --[[User:DirtyCrappedBriefs|DirtyCrappedBriefs]] 02:19, 16 February 2010 (UTC)

==Just a little question...==
Has anybody ever pointed out to Chris that Autism generally means a below-average IQ, while AS often means an above-average IQ? I know that this has been touched upon in this article, but has anyone told him about it? [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 13:24, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

== Concerning the true crime comment ==

Its a bit of a stretch to say that was Chris, well is there any evidence of it being him?, Chris really doesn't read things like that. I think it was likely a Troll post. [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]]9:47, 27 June 2010
:What "true crime comment"? Looking through the article, I don't see it. The word 'true' comes up twice and 'crime' not at all. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 23:51, 27 June 2010 (UTC)

Um no, in the external link at the bottom of the page shows a comment supposedly posted by chris on a website called TRUE CRIME REPORT I am really doubtful that Chris posted that it was most likely left by a troll [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]]12:44, 27 June 2010
:Imma go ahead and agree with you there, the "TRUE AND HONEST" part pretty much seals it for me. Unless someone has conclusive evidence that this is him, I think we should remove the comment and related shit. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:42, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

== Dead link ==

During several automated bot runs the following external link was found to be unavailable. Please check if the link is in fact down and fix or remove it in that case!

* http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1
** In [[Asperger syndrome]] on 2011-09-20 22:29:44, 410 Gone
** In [[Asperger syndrome]] on 2011-09-28 07:53:38, 410 Gone

--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 00:56, 28 September 2011 (PDT)

== Updates needed ==

Now that Asperger's has been dropped from the APA's manual, this article needs an overhaul. --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 22:09, 2 December 2012 (PST)

Captain's Log

2012-12-02T07:49:40Z

IwegalBadnik: Video was removed

[[File:CWCtrek1.png|center|450px]]
{{Quote|Real life: the final frontier. These are the fails of the lolcow Chris-chan. His continuing Love Quest: to explore strange new Attraction Locations, to seek out new gal-pals, and new sweethearts; to boldly go where no high-functioning autistic virgin has gone before.}}
[[Image:Captain's Log.jpg|thumb|Ladies, set Tasers to stun.]]

"'''Captain's Log'''" is [[Chris]]'s usual opening to a video blog, first appearing in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|24 September 2008 video]]. It comes from popular sci-fi franchise ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. In a typical episode, the captain, commander or other senior crew member would make an entry to log what has happened in the situation prior to the beginning of the episode. Most ''Star Trek'' Captain's Log entries are noticeably void of [[Chris and anger|Tard Rage]].

Sometimes, Chris gives an incorrect date (though the date is technically always incorrect since he says "Stardate" and gives a Gregorian Calendar date), or fails to provide a date at all. An example of Chris giving an incorrect date would be many of the entries made in [[July 2009]]. The [[CWCki]] has organized the Captain's Log entries by the date they were uploaded.

Interestingly enough, Chris is not a Trekker/ie and has never seen any ''Star Trek'' media.<ref>[[Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 14]]</ref>. His usage of the phrase most likely comes from other shows that reference it, such as ''[[Family Guy]]'' and ''[[Futurama]]''.

He may have encountered the phrase from the ''Star Trek'' game he purchased as a result of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] competition, but knowing his gaming habits, he probably never played it.

==Characteristics==

Generally, a Captain's Log video is one in which Chris addresses his fanbase, a sort of video blog where he asks his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] to be his personal army or to express his hatred about some [[troll]].

This is in contrast to other styles of Chris videos, such as those where he addresses a specific individual (often expecting people to know he's posted a video about them, such as [[Michael Snyder]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]]) or his [[Chris and music|music videos]].

Occasionally a video is [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|dead serious]], and therefore not worthy of a being named a Captain's Log.

==Captain's ''Blog''==
In [[November 2009]], Chris began [[CWC Blog|maintaining an irregular text blog]] on the [[CWCipedia]], featuring updates on the progress of his comic and his quest to turn [[Sonichu]] into the heart of a multimedia empire. He also dubbed this a "Captain's Log" and marked the successive entries with "Stardates". It could be found halfway down the right column of the site's front page (and also at [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Template:Captain%27s_Log Template:Captain's Log], and he maintained [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Blog an archive] of his updates.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Captain's Log}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2012-12-02T07:20:56Z

IwegalBadnik: Video was removed

[[File:DeathStarCam7.jpg|thumb|200px|[[Star Wars|Do you ''realize''? Do. ''you''. '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the Rebel Alliance sees those Death Star plans, that you put in the damn droid, they could destroy our base, and we would have to move out of it.]]]]

'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded 27 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[Internet]].

Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[TheCWCvilleLibrary|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].

==Description==

{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|70LvKzxeHOE}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Website|The Internet}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|ECV 00192]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[Chris races into frame, obviously angry and upset- he begins speaking quietly, but gradually gets louder]''

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction, ''[dramatic [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]] removal]'' BECAUSE this is DEAD SERIOUS. The [[Tour of Chris's House|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the Internet...

''[Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream and yell in a fit of childish [[Chris and Anger|rage]], flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words, sounding somewhat similar to Gilbert Gottfried]''

'''''MY [[Barbara Chandler|MOTHER]] AND MY [[Bob Chandler|FATHER]]''' ARE '''ANGRY''' AT ME!'''''

'''THEY'RE BLAMING''' IT AT ME! '''IT'S MY FAULT, I ADMIT IT!''' IT'S MY FAULT; I WANT EVERYTHING A'''''BOUT MY HOUSE'''''

'''''OFF! THE! INTERNET!'''''

''[Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously]'' I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[Jerkops|police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY '''[[Power|POWER]]!'''

''[There is a noticeable jump-cut, as a result of a removed scene in which [[Bob Chandler]] enters and speaks with Chris. Chris's glasses are back on his face and the door is left open from when [[Bob Walks In|Bob walked in]]. This scene is included in the Uncut version below]''

So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...

{{RageQuote|NowNOWNOW''NOWNOW
'''NOWWWWWW!'''''}}
''[Chris stomps the ground as he yells, the camera [[Obesity|noticably shakes]]]''

''[He quickly calms down then holds up peace sign]''

[[Curse ye ha me ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everyone else.

==Uncut==

{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''}}

An uncut version aka '''ECV 00192''' was posted by [[Vivian Gee]] on 29 August 2009, where [[Bob Chandler]] walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second and last time we see Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris. In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he lied to his Father, telling him that he had gotten the house vids off of the internet.

We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler Household]] and condemn it.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

===Video===

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Ty4bLUifoaw}}
| stardate = 29 [[August 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| next = [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''[At 0:28, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] opens the door and walks in]''

'''Chris''': ...THAT—GET IT '''OFF''' THE INNERNET...

'''Bob''': Listen-to-me! ''[muffled by CWC's "OFF THE INTERNET!"]'' Listen to me.

'''Chris''': ''[his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob]'' Yes...

'''Bob''': Listen to '''ME'''.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off!

''[Chris [[sigh]]s and attempts to turn off his [[PS3|PSEye]], but fails to realize that it's still recording the conversation. Bob walks over to him]''

'''Bob''': I don't care what you do. ''[pointing at PSEye]'' You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it. ''[slaps hands to his side]''

'''Bob''': Go work on it! ''[points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs]''

'''Chris''': I am working--

'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''? Do. ''you''. '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] sees those videos, that you put on the damn internet, they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it.

'''Chris''':'' [sighs]'' I see.

'''Bob''': You go get that goddamn stuff off of there and fast.

'''Chris''': I'm woorking on it! I was making a YouTube vi—uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "Get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...

'''Bob''': Nooo...

'''Chris''': Its—It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' ''[flails arms]''

'''Bob''': No, '''you''' get 'em off.

'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!''

'''Bob''': Yooou loaded them up there, you unload 'em!

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': Go do ''it!''

'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'-- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...

'''Bob''': GGet in ''here'' and do ''it''!

'''Chris''': I--''[sputters]''

'''Bob''': ''[walks out of the room]'' I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.

'''Chris''': I'll working on it!

'''Bob''': ''[from outside]'' Git in there and staart!

'''Chris''': ''III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True and Loyal Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'-- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!'--'

'''Bob''': ''[interrupting]'' Listennn,

'''Chris''': --about our house!

'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta ''my'' house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us! ''[Bob exits the room again]''

'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...

'''Bob''': Get that ''stuff'' OFFA THERE...

'''Chris''': '''I'M ''WOORK'''''--

'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!

'''Chris''': I'm WORKIN' on it! I'm ''WORKIN' '' on it!'' [Chris appears to resume recording footage for his video]''

''[Cut footage ends at 2:11, continuing into NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWWWWW]''

==The Greene County Health Department responds==

In addition to creating many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down, some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent and stated the Chandler's decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel 
Environmental Health Manager 
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ENSKi4_mO3A}}
| stardate = 27 [[August 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| subject =
| type = Remix
| info = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NadyUs_DWK8}}
| stardate = 09 [[January 2010]]
| maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| subject =
| type = Mix
| info = Arguably the most popular fan video of them all
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = (YTPMV) THAT IS MY GENTLEMENTLEMEN
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dFUikkbOf40}}
| stardate = 25 [[April 2011]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/RainingMetal?feature=mhum RainingMetal]
| subject =
| type = Mix
}}

==See also==

*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}

{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-27]]

CWC Update 12 August 2009

2012-11-30T05:38:38Z

IwegalBadnik: Double negative works better for this sort of effect.

[[Image:Familylife.jpg|thumb|"WHAT. THE. FUCK?"]]

"'''CWC Update 12 August 2009'''" (officially "'''CWC Update 08122009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] expresses his disgust about the recent wave of [[:Category:Guro|fanart]] sent to him. In his defense, Chris compares himself to the likes of [[The Simpsons|Homer Simpson]] and [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]].

Because Chris is a [[slow in the mind|moron]], he incorrectly listed the month as April. The video was, in fact, uploaded in August. This error has been recurring, with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|previous video]] from the same month having the same date mistake.

Given the fact that Chris spends most of his life secluded in his [[Chris's room|bedroom]], it's not unreasonable to suspect he would lose track of what ''month'' it is.
{{clear}}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Update 12 August 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NtPlZedDTmo}}
| stardate = 12 [[August 2009]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenWhiteStripe|text}}
| previous = [[LOOK at the truth!]]
| next = [[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]
}}
{{quote|That's illegal everywhere and it is ''so'' wrong.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate April [sic] 12th, [[2009]].

Let's, uh, sort out one little topic of interest. If you're going to send me fanart [''takes off glasses''], please keep it clean. No [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|gross X-triple-X-rated sexual content]]. Eh, and also definitely worst of: do not send me anything of [[Pedofork|child sex]]. [''in a high pitch''] What the hell is wrong with you people? That's illegal everywhere and it is ''so'' wrong. I mean, I am like a family man; even though I'm not married, [[List of Chris's Lies|I have the mind like a family man]]. I mean, look at Homer Simpson. He's a family man. Do you think he does that with his children? Christ, are you stupid? Or look at Peter Griffin from ''[[Family Guy]]''. Do you think he's having, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NU0vQScvUw even Meg]? [''grunts annoyedly''] Or even back in the day, [[I Love Lucy|Lucy Ball, Desi Arnez Jr.]], or even, huh, Dick Van Dyke, uh, Mary Tyler Moore, and Rich Junior? Anyways, point is: it's wrong. It grosses me out; it grosses everybody out, so just STOP IT! [''again in a high pitch''] [[Chris and hypocrisy|What the hell is wrong with you people?]] It makes me think that there is something wrong with this dang world, with such [[Chris|stupid, idiotic bastards]] like you drawing such things, creating them in their heads and then—WHAT. THE. '''FUCK'''! No more; keep it clean; keep it decent! I said, "like [[Masturbating and squirtin'|kisses]]." You know, like kissing scenes... and not X-rated, or even worse that I just talked about. What the hell is wrong with you people? Don't draw such [[shecameforcwc.jpg|grotesque pieces of work]] that's I cannot even feel comfortable by calling them... art. Cause they are ''not''! They are trash; [[4-cent garbage.com|4-cent garbage]]! No more of that shit.

Have a good day. Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[LOOK at the truth!]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries| 2009-08-12]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2009| 2009-08-12]]

Song of Christian

2012-11-22T05:43:25Z

IwegalBadnik: Video was removed

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. Chris bases his poem partly on [[Homos|Walt Whitman]]'s [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]].

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and camerawork|use proper lighting]] — video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days — and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' commercial]] is up for debate.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and...[[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part I==

{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part I
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|"Song of Christian" ~ Part II]]
}}

<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''Simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival.''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to ''The Christian Chandler Show''! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to ''The Christian Chandler Show''. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line— an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so...please don't laugh. I feel— I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called— entitled— "The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and ''Mario'' raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]].
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and...D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little 'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'. [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the [[Wikipedia:Best Products|Best Products]] store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "Lego Land" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.

[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine.]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on ''Mario Raceway''". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was ''Mario Kart 64''. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, ''Mario Raceway'' Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]...on the ''insides'', like a regular ''Nintendo Power'' magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the ''Zelda'' contest. Ya know, test the ''Zelda 64'' game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about ''[[Sonic]]'' on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
It is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at six weeks old. Any doctor will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any psychologist will tell you that their [[wikipedia:Broca's Area|Broca's Area]] is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part II==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Song of Christian" ~ Part II
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|"Song of Christian" ~ Part I]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh...this may even be a rumor, so you— my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm jus' still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh...shows how Sonic's friends help him...climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic...and Bionic...breaking a lot— destroying a lot— breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, ''Sonic'' on Game Boy originally was ''Sonic and Knuckles'', but I decided to do something different in this magazine. ''Sonic and Knuckles '''II'''''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!"

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade ''Nintendo Power'' together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up.'']

Yeah...and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file...selector, and another water zone, Knuckles— playing as Knuckles, and a...special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page.'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. ''SUPER Sonic''. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all— with some of the ''Sonic'' games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some...coverage on the...Sonic, uh...with the...how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got ''Sonic I'' picture there, and ''Sonic 3''.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh...coverage on the games. I got ''Sonic I'', ''Sonic II'', ''Sonic III'', and ''Sonic and Knuckles'' in there... yeah, the original ''Sonic and Knuckles'' I'm talking about, not ''Sonic and Knuckles II''.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh...sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it ''BEAST WARS''...''[[Transformers]]''. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it...goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh...Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron...Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh...before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh...other ''Nintendo Power'' cover, which I made of...uh...you heard of ''Megaman XTC'' Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. ''Megaman XTC '''IV'''''. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh...about some of the stuff about him in the...Sigma's return...Zero being captured, and...it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The— from the original first— the first ''Megaman X'' game...except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') Oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three ''Megaman X'' games and a couple of the classic ''Megaman'' games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not ''Megaman X'' without the old... classic ''Megaman X'' boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic— parts of ''Sonic I'' and ''Sonic II'', and I just did ''Mario Kart 64''. And for ''Nintendo Power''...I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because— lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh...chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of ''Super Sonic''....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV— AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU MADE IT BURN, I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been ''The Christian Chandler Show'', and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land...goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==See also==
* [[Greene County Conspiracy]] - 12 YEARS LATER, Chris still sits in the dark and complains about people hating him for being Autistic

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1998-05-15]]

White knight

2012-11-20T02:45:11Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention. One video that lends credibility to this is his "Walla Walla Walla" <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGAMM1k5nGs&feature=plcp]</ref> video, where he says, "CWCvilleLibrary didn't upload it so I'm hosting it here."

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing. However, due to [[28 October 2011|his current run-in with the law]], he will now be forced to seek professional help or he faces jail time.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref> However, due to the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris must now seek psychiatric help or he faces jail time. While this may help him become more humane, [[Ego|experience]] suggests that any impact will be minimal at best unless Chris cooperates.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor. Years later, Chris would even go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of [[28 October 2011|a mess that he caused]] is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of sheer paranoia, he believes that [[Megan|anybody]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp10.png</ref> and everybody<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp6.png</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Koreans.PNG</ref>.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==See Also==
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]
*[[White knight emails]]

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

White knight

2012-11-20T01:55:50Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:White knight.jpg|center]]
[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|180px|Artist's conception. Bad artist, but still.]]

{{quote|Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?|Chris, [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|CWC Music Video ~ "Holding Out For a Hero"]]}}

'''White knight''' is a term used to describe someone who goes on the Internet to help or defend someone else on the Internet against other people on the Internet out of pity or compassion. White knighting of Chris is especially prevalent because of the unprecedented amount of abuse he has taken, which in turn is caused by Chris's total inability to heed the white knights in his life.

'''Counter-trolls''' are those who take Chris's side to spite his legion of [[trolls]]. Some do this because trolling one gullible idiot is less satisfying than trolling trolls, who actually have the ability to understand what is going on. Others have decided that Chris has jumped the shark and are trying to make everyone else leave him alone to put a stop to an old meme. Counter-trolls are not to be confused with [[anti-troll]]s, who fight trolls in order to get closer to Chris and troll him themselves.

A meta-topic within the broader Chris saga has been the merits of attempting to help Chris stop being such an epic lulzcow, and whether he is deserving of such assistance or even beyond help. The consensus on forums such as the talk page for Chris's [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article, /cwc/, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]], and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] is that Chris's [[racism]], [[Chris and Sex|homophobia]], and [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]] make him beneath contempt; and that he has consistently refused to take advice given to him in good faith. White knights and counter-trolls are considered to be wasting everyone's time and trolls have little patience for them.

==Motives==

===Pity===
Following the release of Chris's first [[nudes|nude photos]] and the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] in which he reacted to the loss of his [[medallion]]s and [[Blanca]], many people, including trolls, felt sorry for him. They had not expected it to be possible for him to be trolled so hard or for him to appear so shattered.

===Empathy===
The Internet is full of autistic people, man-children, and self-absorbed morons. Many of them are right here, fascinated with Chris-chan. All of them see something of themselves in him, whether it's his all-consuming need for female companionship or his fervent belief that his homemade comics matter. A lot of white knights have made at least some of the mistakes Chris has made and have since wised up. They think they can help improve Chris by offering the benefit of their experience.

BAAAAAAAW! ''[[Kick the Autistic]]'' is a cruel game. Quit it!

===Circumstances beyond Chris's control===
Chris fails to identify people, a possible sign of [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|Prosopagnosia]]. [[BlueSpike|Julie and her brother Max]] used the same voice, and yet Chris couldn't recognize that they were the same person. Pictures of different women were used to depict [[Blanca]], and yet Chris thought they were the same person. Chris believed that pictures of [[Wikipedia:Megan Fox|Megan Fox]] were of [[Wikipedia:Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Hudgens]].<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|Vanessa AIM Chat IX]]</ref> In high school, Chris memorized his appearance in the mirror because he had trouble recognizing himself.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://thedailypos.org/misc/sonichu/Issue%207/SchuComic8Page24.jpg "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Since he probably hasn't "updated" his self-image, this is a possible explanation regarding why he denies being fat.

Chris cannot "read between the lines" or otherwise interpret subtlety. He interprets ''[[Family Guy]]'' as being against homosexuality.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]]</ref> When two male acquaintances exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, Chris concluded that they were gay.<ref>Anecdote by [[Mimms]].</ref>

===The trolls are even worse people than Chris===
Another frequently heard line of reasoning is that the trolls have gone way too far, and have demonstrated that they're even worse than Chris, or at least equally pathetic. For example, [[BlueSpike]]'s sadistic abuse of his control over Chris [[BLUESPIKE#Encyclopedia_Dramatica_Troll_War|outraged even trolls]]. And, of course, who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who [[CWCki|obsessively document and debate everything he does]]?

===For the sake of Barbara's sanity===
At this point in time it is safe to say that Chris's remaining parent has been just as fatigued as Chris by the actions of trolls. Some argue that [[Snorlax]] should not have to suffer for his wrongdoings, and therefore think that Chris should be left alone just so she can enjoy the last few years of her life in peace.

==Reasons against white knighting==
===Chris could have ended the trolling whenever he wanted to, but didn't===
Lets face it, all Chris had to do to end the trolling was to just turn off his computer. If he would have done this small step, this whole debacle would have never happened. The trolls had nothing personal against Chris; They just decided he was a worthy target after reading Sonichu and seeing how he spazzed out at his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica. As soon as he would have quit responding to their provocations and quit posting videos of him tard raging on YouTube, the trolls would have just moved on to someone else. Instead, Chris tried to "fight back" against them, in turn revealing more and more information about himself until the trolls knew all of his contact info and all the details of his life. That was when the trolling went past a point of no return, spilling into Chris' personal life so much that there would be absolutely no way for him to ever disassociate himself from it. Even when he was away from the computer, he found himself subjected to trolling by them calling his cell phone, sending him mail and them following him around in public. While the obsessive trolling of Chris was nothing less than shitty, the fact still remains that Chris was the one who allowed them to have such control over his life thanks to him always overreacting to every little provocation and him handing over all his personal information to them.

There is also the theory that Chris does things for trolls to mock him merely for the attention. One video that lends credibility to this is his "Walla Walla Walla" <ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGAMM1k5nGs&feature=plcp]</ref> video, where he says, "CWCvilleLibrary didn't upload it so I'm hosting it here."

===Chris lacks empathy himself===
:''See also: [[Chris and death]] and [[Chris and his Ego]].''
Chris cannot put himself in your shoes or accept that you have been where he is. He has no "theory of mind": if you used to be as shy around women as he is today, in his mind the fact that you aren't shy anymore makes your experience inapplicable to his situation. To Chris, the fact you got over it and he hasn't yet makes the two cases entirely different. He doesn't want to solve his problems by trying what worked for you, he only wants you to pity him for having problems, until he magically dreams up [[Dating education|his own solution]].

:'''RocketFox:''' My father died of liver cancer and cirrohosis a day ago ;~; he drank a ton and it hurt him - I'm only 11 and I dunno what to do ;~;
:'''Chris:''' RocketFox, you will soon recover from your father's accident, I guess it is; DO NOT DRINK Alcohol yourself; STAY OFF THAT JUNK.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref>

Chris's interpretation of the death of RocketFox's dad as an accident shows that he didn't even bother to look up what cirrhosis is. Immediately afterward, he started talking about a sexy dance.

Chris's reactions to suicide are very telling. After [[Ryan Cash]] died because of Chris, Chris marveled at how much power he had right after he tried to publicly console [[Clyde Cash]].<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008]]</ref> When [[Sarah May]] attempted suicide because of Chris, his reasons for her to stay alive were "I'd feel terrible" and "I'd just cry."<ref>[[Mumble 8|Mumble #8]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May]]</ref> When Chris broke up with [[Ivy]], he somehow concocted, in his head, an assumption that she had committed suicide. Even after having lost so many dear friends to suicide, he still had no problems telling Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] to [[death threats|kill themselves]]. Many people who have had to deal with suicidal people or have lost relatives and friends due to suicides themselves might not exactly find this amusing.

In the [[Common_Questions#22_February_2010|22 February 2010]] edition of the [[CWCipedia]]'s "Common Questions", Chris listed the top ten worst things to have ever happened to him. The deaths of "two True and Good Women who [he] had friendships with," [[PandaHalo]] and [[Sarah Jackson]], ranked seventh. Those tragic events ranked below getting banned from a game store, finding out two people from said store were posting info about him on ED, and having his personal websites hacked.

On [[Twin Falling Towers|1 November 2009]], Chris made a video involving Clyde being as "weak as the Twin Towers" and used his mouse cursor as a plane flying into them.<ref>[[Twin Falling Towers]]</ref>

When Rashid Ali Abdul, an Iranian [[fan]], told him that her country's religious authorities sentenced her to death by beheading for reading ''Sonichu'', Chris said that he was sorry and that the situation was "pitiful".<ref>[[Mailbag 8|Mailbag #8]]</ref>

While some of this can be attributed to Chris's [[autism]], a condition that often results in a lack of empathy, most autistics can at least learn how to express empathy through a combination of carefully reading the emotions of others and thinking about how a situation affects other people. Chris refuses to seek serious counseling or psychiatric help for this sort of thing. However, due to [[28 October 2011|his current run-in with the law]], he will now be forced to seek professional help or he faces jail time.

===Autism does not excuse a terrible person===
Chris knows he has trouble understanding non-verbal social cues due to his autism,<ref>[[Quizzes#Autism Quiz]]</ref> and yet he still jumps the gun on interpreting other people's intentions all the time.

Autism, in and of itself, does not create a failure as massive as Chris-Chan. A majority of autistics manage to get psychiatric help for their problem and/or are able to develop social and emotional skills so they can cope with their disability and lead rewarding and rich lives. Yet while Chris acknowledges he has a problem, he refuses to do anything more than see the [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] at his church, who is not a professional trained in the treatment of autism spectrum disorders.<ref>[[Vivian's AIM chat]]</ref> However, due to the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris must now seek psychiatric help or he faces jail time. While this may help him become more humane, [[Ego|experience]] suggests that any impact will be minimal at best unless Chris cooperates.

Chris is fully capable of understanding the consequences of his actions. He has a sense of morality (even if he often ignores it in favor of his own selfish interests). He would be (and has been) held accountable for his own actions in a court of law (and rightfully so). The fact he is a racist, a homophobe, and a chauvinist have nothing to do with his autism.

===Chris is beyond pity===

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's mood is all over the place, even between videos posted shortly after each other. "[[Happy Sonichu Day|Thank you for your support]]"... "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Goddamn womanizing raping trollin' stupid pickle-suited n—!]]"]]

Chris is capable of doing some very bad things when provoked, which is a quite understandable (if not acceptable) response to trolling. However, "provocation" in this case doesn't necessarily mean harassment or trolling. Merely disagreeing with Chris or asking him why he does what he does can provoke an attack, up to and including threats of violence and death. When Chris is annoyed, frustrated, or overcome by desire or lust, he's capable of doing [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|''nasty'']] [[Death threats|things]]. Moreover, when Chris loses it, he doesn't think of the consequences of his actions at all, and his expressions of outrage are completely out of proportion to the provocation — often more outrageous in themselves than whatever the trolls did.

Chris [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|insulted little kids]] during card games and scared some of them away from visiting [[The GAMe PLACe]]. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]], who frequented The GAMe PLACe and knew Chris in real life years before he was discovered by the Internet, couldn't list any redeeming qualities he possessed.

Chris sexually harassed a [[Megan|woman]] in real life. Megan made it explicitly clear to him that his physical contact and comments to her were unacceptable, but he continued anyway, convinced that eventually she would learn to love being molested by a mentally ill man-child and become his [[Sweethearts|Sweetheart From The Ground-Up]].

After Megan yelled at Chris for uploading [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a picture of him fingerbanging her]] to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], he did not apologize,<ref name="Megan Saga">[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga Megan Saga]</ref> but rather explained to her (in a terribly [[naïve]] way) how a handjob works, under the misguided assumption that she merely was upset because she didn't recognize the sex act being performed, or in the hope that she would rationalize what he did on this basis. He then had the nerve to say to her, "I am hurting SOOOOO MUCH MORE than you can be."<ref name="Megan Saga"/> Why? Not because of the picture, but because the trolls were being mean to him. Yes, [[Chris and his ego|''him'']]. Based on [[List of Chris's ED edits|his ED edits]], he was more concerned with people thinking he was fingering his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|imaginary twin sister]] than he was with defending Megan's honor. Years later, Chris would even go so far as to totally demonize Megan for rejecting his 'good intentions', posting her address up on his [[Facebook]] profile in the hopes that trolls would find it and punish her for him.

After each of his online relationships ends, Chris starts looking for a new [[sweetheart]] right away, ''even if she died''. No matter the setback, his ego keeps getting bigger.

In mid-July 2009, he addressed a person named [[The July 10th Messages|"SonichuIzCool"]] on YouTube. SonichuIzCool was (''is'') probably the only genuine fan of ''Sonichu'' discovered to date, someone who tried to defend Chris and his comic. She was also genuinely mentally retarded. In his YouTube message, Chris called her "naïve and [[slow in the mind]]." He told her she had to "come out where [he] can meet [her]." Another side of this incident is that his YouTube account had been recently hacked, and he had managed to recover it this time, thus avoiding all of the nasty evil damage the trolls ''might'' have caused. After he posted this video, though, he got his account suspended due to ''his own actions''.

In early November 2009, in his attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash, Chris went so far as to mock the terrorist attacks of the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]] on 9/11. When feeling angry at Clyde Cash, he not only thought it would be a good idea to blackmail him, but used the ''destruction of two skyscrapers full of people after being hit by airliners full of jet fuel and human beings'' as a metaphor for how weak he thought Clyde was. When people got angry, he tried to fix things by turning the WTC towers into cake candles. To the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris was never coaxed or encouraged by an outside source to use the WTC images. He came up with this reprehensible idea all on his own.

[[Image:MikesWedding.jpg|thumb|right|Happily forever after.]]

In January 2010, a fan named Mike Jackson asked Chris for advice, whether he should [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|watch porn with his family]] and [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|buy a prostitute for his son]], Mike Junior, or not. Chris, being such an [[Dating Education|expert]], encouraged him to do so. In the end Mike Jr. ran away with the prostitute, and Mike asked Chris to make a [[YouTube]] video asking his son to come back home. Unfortunately, Chris was under a lot of [[stress]], and could not make the video. Mike Jr. is now married to the prostitute in Las Vegas, and his father died from a sleeping pill overdose. Chris didn't even give a damn about the obituary linked by Mike's wife, and responded to his son's grief and anger with three words: [[Chris and remorse|"I am sorry."]]

===Chris cares only for himself===
Chris spends [[monthly tugboat|your tax money]] on luxuries and steals from his parents to buy [[PSN|video games]] he'll never play. He has the basic skills necessary to hold down a job, so long as it didn't require him to do much interacting with other people, and programs exist specifically to find appropriate jobs for the mentally challenged, but Chris hasn't even tried since being fired from [[Wendy's]].

Further reinforcing his selfishness and laziness, Chris and his family strongly agree it's better for him to hole up in his room and get paid for doing absolutely nothing than to seek out the challenge of finding gainful employment in the real world. This is based on the (quite possibly untrue) assertion that Chris can earn more on disability than from a job. By taking advantage of the government through vastly exaggerated claims of an easily manageable illness which they refuse to help Chris treat, Chris's parents are assured a steady income in the form of his room-and-board payments, and don't have to worry about Chris getting in trouble with the law [[Chris and the Law|again]] when he has another breakdown in public.

But just in case you needed any solid proof of Chris' outright selfishness, it basically came straight from the horse's mouth during his trial. When asked if he understood that he'll be paying his court fees:

{{quote| "Yes. My mother will be taking care of that." |[[Christian Weston Chandler]]<ref>[[This_is_how_the_Trial_went]]</ref>}}

Keep in mind that the money being used to bail him out of [[28 October 2011|a mess that he caused]] is coming out of an ailing old widow's purse while Chris [[Chris and Money|nonchalantly throws his own money away]], as evidenced by his PSN activity mere months later.

===Chris is not a good net citizen===
{{quote|I will have NO DISCUSSIONS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK ON MY OWN WEBSITE WHATSOEVER!|Chris, on reader participation via [[Twitter]].}}
Chris is more concerned with spreading his own version of [[Honest Content|honest truth]] than being a good net citizen. He has adopted the mentality that most spammers have adopted: who cares about things like terms of service and account suspensions and masses of pissed-off people as long as his message gets through? He won't participate in the communities of the sites he posts on. This is not mere ''passivity'' in those communities, which might still be tolerable; he ''deliberately opposes'' such participation. Most people, while not bothering to contribute to communities, would not at least make deliberate efforts to hinder the community. On [[deviantART]], [[YouTube]] and [[Flipnote Hatena]], he disables all comments, probably because he knew he'd not get any praise anyway — yet this ignores the fact that open commenting is part of the nature of these sites and disabling comments should be done only if it's being clearly used for flagrant abuses of the system, like spam and votebotting. He regards YouTube purely as a video publishing venue and not as a tool for engaging in discussion with his "fans". He created his [[Wikipedia]] user page purely to spread his own message, and did not come to Wikipedia to participate in building an encyclopedia. If the site owners block him, he just comes up with another account or a sockpuppet. The thought of apologizing, getting old accounts reinstated, or the possibility that people who block him might be trying to send him a message never cross his mind.

Chris's behavior on [[CWCipedia]] provides many more examples of his selfish attitude, such as the banner ad crisis in late 2009. He doesn't understand what it ''really'' means that the website is neither hosted nor paid for by him personally, and what sort of things the administration typically does on a website like his. He can't or won't understand simple principles like "webhost's house, webhost's rules," or "beggars can't be choosers," but instead believes that since the site has his name on it, it should be run according to his every demand.

===Chris will reject your advice===
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|right|What are you going to tell Chris that his [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|favorite teacher]] didn't tell him 15 years ago?]]
Someone [[White knight emails|carefully explained to Chris why he is a sexist]]. In response, Chris got angry. He is only interested in a guide on how to attract women without first making any changes to himself. Most ridiculous: he denies being [[Obesity|overweight]].

Read [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|Vivian's AIM chat]]. Vivian actually used to be a counter-troll, and warned Chris several times that [[PandaHalo]] was a troll. Chris fell for PandaHalo anyway. She then tried to talk some damn sense on him over AIM. But Chris proved to be so goddamn stubborn, she actually tossed the towel and became a troll out of spite. In Vivitheg's words: "i've tried for 3 hours now; it's like fighting a wall, i can't beat the wall no matter how hard i try." Not only has she long since joined the troll ranks, but Chris even began [[Sign Destruction Video|berating and sending threats]] to his biggest white knight ever.

===Chris will reject your disclosure of the truth===
* [[Hanna]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Lori Lopez]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Blanca]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[PandaHalo]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite [[Vivitheg]]'s warnings.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails]]</ref>
* [[Robert Simmons V]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[JK Productions]] was a troll pretending to be an entire videogame development company, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah May]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Sarah Jackson]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Julie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Ivy]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it, despite warnings from the counter-troll that must not be named.
* [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Emily]] was a real life troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Kacey]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. She also married [[CChanSonichuCWC|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].
* [[Father Call|Matthew, Kacey's father]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it.
* [[Jackie]] was a troll, and Chris fell for it. [[February_2012|Twice.]]

See a pattern here? Do you really think he will believe any evidence you send him proving that every fan he has, and pretty much every person he has been in contact with over the past year, is a troll?

As of 2012, however, it seems that Chris has done a 180 on this, where, out of sheer paranoia, he believes that [[Megan|anybody]]<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp10.png</ref> and everybody<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Fbp6.png</ref> is a troll, even when he has no sane reason to reach that conclusion<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Koreans.PNG</ref>.

===Chris's normal life is often weirder than the trolling===
Chris won't take your advice, so he will fall for trolling. Trolls do weird things and Chris believes almost everything. But even if Chris had no white knights or trolls, his life would still be weird.

Chris's own accomplishments, without any external suggestion or assistance, are sometimes even more jaw-dropping than what the trolls think up. His [[Chris and the Law#Law troubles|previous brushes]] with [[Jerkops|authority figures]] and his [[Attraction Sign|bizarre]] [[Fridays After Five|behavior]] during his outside leisure time are good examples.

===Chris asks for it, and always recovers===
Hellbent on spreading his version of the truth because he's TRUE and HONEST, Chris cannot realize that his edit warring on Encyclopedia Dramatica was practically a squeal begging for more trolling.

[[wiktionary:TMI|TMI]] is a tactic Chris uses that usually leads to him abusing himself. Since Chris insists on revealing the most minute details of his life to everyone he meets, the trolls always get more information to fuel further acts of trolling. White knights cannot stop our hero from being Honest.

Chris doesn't get embarrassed either. Oh, his nudes and lewd acts are all over the internet? No big deal! [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|All adults do that kind of thing]], so what's the problem?

Chris managed to fully recover from the depressing [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21 October 2008 video]] mentioned above (and quite quickly, too) and proceeded to fail even harder for months. Likewise, despite professing great emotional distress, he bounced back from [[CWC is Sad|the loss of Kacey]] in [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|a matter of hours]]. He even bounced back after being [[Mumble 9|verbally abused by a room of trolls]], one of whom told him to go kill himself. So what's the problem?

[[Image:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|right|180px|True, true.]]

===Chris made himself an outcast===
High school and college are the places and moments where people are given their first and often only chance to become a functioning part of society. They gave Chris an even greater chance because he's [[autistic]]. They lent him a friendly, caring hand and opened themselves to his friendship, males and females alike. And what did Chris do? He ''refused, by choice,'' to associate with anyone who wasn't female, young, rich, white, and within the Charlottesville area.

When [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] gave him a chance to reform his behavior, he kept going with his bullshit, and was rightly kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a full year. What did he learn from that? He learned that Mary Lee Walsh was an evil hag with a personal vendetta against him. He was given ''several'' chances to learn that his [[Attraction sign|loitering and soliciting]] were not appropriate behavior in a public place, and what did he learn? He learned that mall cops are [[Jerkops]], that [[Virginia is for Virgins]], and that his [[Love Quest]] was a matter of him against the world, with the world in the role of the villain. After he was kicked out of The GAMe PLACe (where he was again given more leeway than most people ever would have gotten, out of a sense of misguided pity), he was barred from the last place in Ruckersville that was still open to him, and left with only one place: his home.

Now, it's too late for Chris. He was given a friendly hand, but he angrily bit it, and that hand will never reach out to him again. He doesn't even belong in his own home anymore. He spends most of his time in exile in his fantasy land of [[CWCville]], the one and only place still open to him, and that place ''doesn't even exist''.

===[[Stress]]===
In order to get close to Chris, white knights have to spend at least as much time and effort as trolls to get up-to-date and to thwart the troll output. They'd probably have to lie and pretend to be a girl or video game designer to even capture his attention. This combined with Chris's usual responses is enough to make any sane non-professional psychologist [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|crash into slumber]].

===Chris will not even read your message===
The spam filter is a powerful innovation of good ol' America Online. Any e-mails sent to his private address will be deleted, probably unread, and any e-mails sent to the [[Mailbag]], if they even get published, will be [[Mailbag 29|given one-word replies and ignored]].

===The trolling will not cease===
Even if white knights get to Chris somehow, there is no endgame in which Chris will be free from trolls before his death.

In school, Chris was trolled by his classmates. He was even trolled by one of his [[Joshua Martinez|real life friends]]. In college, he was trolled by friends who grew sick of his bullshit (e.g. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]), and by [[Anna McLerran|girls]] [[Hannah|annoyed]] by his "attraction methods" and rampant, unabashed sexism. If Chris quit the Internet tomorrow, he would still be trolled by a society that refuses to tolerate ignorant man-children flouting its rules.

If everyone trying to create his next fake sweetheart suddenly got bored and quit, Chris would unwittingly seek out new trolls to take their place, and we know newfags are more than willing.

If Chris isn't assigned a custodian after his parents die, his story will probably end when he falls victim to some con artist who swindles him out of his [[monthly tugboat]] and perhaps his home. If Chris does get assigned a custodian, he will continue his antics until the custodian kicks him out or bans him from the Internet. If the custodian bans Chris from the Internet, that's Chris trolling himself.

If Chris gets institutionalized, he will attract real life trolls at the mental hospital. If Chris does not go into an institution and instead ends up in prison due to [[28 October 2011|circumstances that cannot be foreseen]], he will be trolled there as well.

If the entire world reforms and decides to leave Chris alone, his own sense of victimization will override any benefit. Consider that Chris felt persecuted simply by observing [[Jerks|males who had more success than himself]]. He regards legitimate assertions of authority as rank brutality. [[Adam Stackhouse]] managed to upset Chris to a degree that CWC observers rate among the most impressive to date, and he did it without even knowing that Chris existed at the time. Bleak as it is, unless Chris embarks on a program of radical self-improvement and/or learns some humility, and manages against the odds to shake off both his legions of abusers and seamy reputation, he will forever feel like a [[Kick the Autistic|thoroughly-kicked autistic]].

===The trolling helps Chris and, indeed, others===
If Chris were just some random nobody on the Internet, he'd be doing nothing but playing video games and occasionally drawing unsellable comics until his parents died. Then he'd be institutionalized. He'd remain without social skills, a job, success or future.

Instead, Chris's antics have become a cultural phenomenon that — without exaggeration — is something extraordinary, unique, and which likely won't be replicated in any shape or form for years to come. Chris has secured his place among such luminaries as the Time Cube Guy and John Titor, and unlike the Time Cube Guy, you can actually comprehend what Chris is saying most of the time. Chris interacting with the world through his websites and YouTube has drawn in a crowd of people who are participating in an unprecedented, continual piece of performance art of a kind that would have been unheard of only a few years ago. He brings entertainment to thousands of people all over the world, an accomplishment that most could never dream of achieving — the kind of thing that would give Dane Cook a stiffy just to consider. His Internet fame is actually a sort of success in its own right, and may bring him further success. There are thousands of people out there that are so fascinated by him that they study his life on a daily basis.

One could argue that if Chris eventually "retired" from this comedy act by actually coming to terms with his problems, seeking professional help, and completely reforming (and selling media rights to his life's story to the highest bidder, like all sensible people would do), he could live the rest of his life secure and probably moderately wealthy. The troll audience would give him a standing ovation for entertaining them for as long as he did, and move on to the next piece of tragicomedy brought to us by the emerging Web technologies. We have seen far more messed-up celebrity stories already; Chris's tale is at least quite different from the norm and engaging.

What's more, the trolls provide him with an actual social outlet to learn and grow in life. Instead of being an unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom-dweller that nobody has ever heard of, he's an Internet-famous unemployable, fat, virgin bedroom dweller and this by itself increases his chances of getting friends and a girl. He may even end up employed, too, probably appearing in an advertisement or sponging off royalties from any biographical medium, whether it be a book, movie, or TV series. He could become the next William Hung if he put half an ounce of effort into it.

Also, Chris's constant failure at life has inspired [[Autism#Chris and other autistics|hundreds]] to self-improvement. Really, he's accomplishing a pretty good thing here.

===Chris treats "fans" and white knights like crap===
If you try to white knight him, his response is merely to block you on YouTube, AIM or any other messenger service and never respond. He accuses practically all white knights of being trolls. Quite ironic, isn't it? He screams "I'M STRAIGHT!" when you tell him up front that you're a guy. When you tell him his current "girlfriend" is actually a troll, he'll accuse you of wanting to "break up the relationship for the lulz." He'll be rude, won't listen and won't read between the lines. He will always bite the hand that feeds him, so you should just let him wallow in his own self loathing.

{{quote|Whatever.|Send Chris a 400-word, well-reasoned email — get a [[Mailbag 29#Whatever|1-word reply]] back.}}
{{quote|You can go f*** yourself.|[[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|A not-so reasonable reply]] to reasonable criticism.}}

Chris doesn't treat his (perceived) fans much better. Even aside from the SonichuIzCool incident mentioned above, Chris has severe problems answering questions from his fans (or trolls who pretend to be positive fans), and will often react in a hostile manner to everything he sees as negative or offensive. His [[Mailbag]] is the most obvious example. He hates being corrected, and tenaciously clings to his misinformed beliefs; his insistence that Asperger's Syndrome and autism are unrelated is a good example of this. When or if he's having a good day and manages to answer questions from fans at all, he often gives them very brief, one or two word answers that do not elaborate on anything, or outright ignore parts of the question. Not only is he terse, he's also slow to act; for example, it [[Brutal Legend Plus|took him three days to realize]] that a [[Brutal Legend|video he uploaded]] was seriously broken. He also promised that [[Sonichu Fan Promo|a spectacular fan creation]] would be officially featured in the ''Sonichu'' comic — and it ultimately was, ''over a year later''.

Most webcomics have a specific schedule that they have decided to follow. Many webcomics fail to live up to them – some less, some more; some for good reasons, some have no excuse whatsoever. Chris didn't have a set schedule for the comic for the longest time, but then agreed to update the comic on a daily basis, a schedule which even the most well-funded webcomic artists would consider particularly demanding. In February and March 2010, there have been few updates to the comic. When the inevitable complaints about schedule slip started to come, Chris snapped at his fans by saying that inspiration takes its time, forgetting that it was ''he'' who decided daily updates were the way to go. As the "Great Director Chandler", he could have the power to decide what schedule to follow, but instead, he chose to attack his fans.

===Chris' life would still be a disaster even if the trolls never bothered him===
As of 2012, Chris is a total human trainwreck, slowly losing the last of his sanity as each day goes by. While the systematic trolling of him throughout the last few years have something to do with his degrading mental state (especially his extreme paranoia and distrust for everyone except his his mom and pastor), the fact still remains that his life's horrible state is mainly caused by factors outside of the internet. He would still be a lonely outcast as his poor upbringing gave him such warped views of the world and lead him to engage in such bizarre behavior that he drove away every person he tried to connect with. He would still be living in unsanitary living conditions due to Barb's hoarding and the fact that his house has not been cleaned in the better part of a decade. He would still be banned from all of his favorite hangouts due to his loitering and hostile behavior to other patrons. Also, at the core of it all is how Chris decided that he would be better off living off government handouts while drawing unpublishable comic books in his room instead of getting a job and heading down a career path, which would have been his one-way ticket to escaping the cesspool that is [[14 Branchland Court]] and living a fulfilling life, not unlike that of [[Cole Smithey|his half brother]]. Instead, he decided to remain dependent on his elderly, emotionally disturbed parents; look at how well that worked out for him.

==Examples==
:''Read: [[White knight emails]]''

===White Knights on YouTube===

Among the most notable of Chris's white knights was a [[YouTube]] counter-troll who claimed to be a 21 year-old Russian model named Svenka. Via her YouTube account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/hottiee96 hottiee96], she released an inordinate number of screencaps from troll conversations on [[Sonichu IRC]], including private conversations between Chris and [[PandaHalo]]. Also, she released an image of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] who would later steal Chris's first date, [[Emily]]. Were Chris less thick-skulled and even slightly willing to accept irrefutable evidence, Svenka may have made somewhat of a negative impact on the organized trolling effort against Chris, but ultimately she was ineffectual. Svenka also had a unhealthy obsession with the original curator of the [[CWCville Library]], Arjen Van Dierten.

On 6 [[May 2009]], YouTube user xThexPinchx/NorthxStar7/[http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePinchisDaBomb ThePinchisDaBomb] tried to blackmail major trolls, claiming to have information on them. He was easily called on his bluff by someone who had not trolled Chris at all.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/user/softerthanhardware YouTube]</ref> The Pinch has also threatened [[BlueSpike]] saying he has information from his friends but the thing is '''BLUESPIKE HAS NO FRIENDS'''.

====TV Tropes====
[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu The TV Tropes article on ''Sonichu''] used to have a white knight message as the first text of the article, with a link back to this very page. The message is reproduced below:

{{quote|Hey Chris! If you're reading this: you seriously need to get help from licensed professionals, before the stuff you do [[28 October 2011|gets you thrown in prison]] or forcibly committed. And we're sorry, but you have no real fans - the people you think are your fans are really either trolls or laughing at you behind your back. Every. Last. One. Please listen to us - for once.|- Concerned tropers}}

Unfortunately, the editor in question and fails to realize that [[Chris and his ego|their message, while well intentioned, will do absolutely nothing]] and Chris will simply ignore it even if he does [[Mailbag 52|fully read and input it for better development. Thank you for your time.]] The message was later removed due to a shift in policy regarding the article.

==Conclusion==
As good as your intentions may be, there is no conceivable way any mortal human alive can reach Chris and change him for the better. Your efforts will unfortunately fail, and he will just brush you aside, seeing no difference between you and the trolls. Nothing short of divine intervention, revelation, or a horrifyingly close brush with death will change him. You would be best to leave him be and find something else to do with your time. All we can do is hope that one of the three aforementioned scenarios happen at some point, [[Chris and Religion|though the first two seem highly unlikely]].

==See Also==
*[[User:Champthom/Alogging|Alogging]]
*[[White knight emails]]

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/White_knight White Knighting] article at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

October 2012

2012-11-02T05:02:38Z

IwegalBadnik: General improvements; (primarily grammar and tense conversion)

[[File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in October 2012.]]
'''October [[2012]]''' saw some new pictures and statuses leaked from [[Chris]]'s [[Facebook]]. Other than those, it was yet another month with little activity, much like [[July 2012|the]] [[August 2012|previous]] [[September 2012|three]] were. This was probably due to Chris having to face punishment for [[28 October 2011|his actions the previous year]].

==Events==
* 1 October - [[Barbara Chandler | Snorlax's]] 71st birthday.
* 8 October - New images and status updates are leaked from Chris's [[Facebook]]. Chris also updates his status by telling the trolls to stop friending him.
* 19 October - Chris posts a new [[Facebook]] [[:File:Chris Long Hair.jpg|profile picture]] revealing he has grown his hair shoulder length.
* 21 October - Chris posts an [[Facebook#Please forgive me!|apology]] for his past actions as a public status message on [[Facebook]].
* 28 October- The first anniversary of [[28 October 2011|Chris getting himself arrested.]]
* 31 October- [[Halloween]].

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Chris and brand loyalty

2012-10-29T23:05:38Z

IwegalBadnik: Grammar

{{quote|You gotta have merchandise because it's like a wedding ring for the product. And it makes it- and then the fans will- will continue to support you as long as you have the merchandise a- it's like a wedding ring. |[[Download For Play Only|Chris, making his thoughts on branding as clear as he can.]]}}
[[Image:Chris Love Micky D's.png|thumb|right|I'm LOVIN' it.]]
'''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to continually purchasing a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies use advertising, loyalty programs, product placement and contests to establish a brand which consumers will recognize, consider valuable, and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his difficulty separating [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] Chris tends to consider advertisements to be [[AXE|literal documentation of a product's effectiveness]] rather than intrinsically biased attempts to lure consumers. This, in combination with his [[Autism|rigid thinking, fear of change and attraction to routine]], has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally considered "brands," such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.

==Overview==
{{Quote|Oil of Olay brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good... I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously]]! I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And Axe body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!|[[Anti Troll Movement Video1|Chris, promoting hygiene products without irony.]]}}
[[Image:Rubi 110309.jpg|thumb|right|Chris considered this a reward for drinking thousands of cans of Coke.]]
Chris considers his choice of brands to be a major component of his identity. In general, once Chris has committed to a particular "brand" he will stand by it regardless of its quality. He considers those who abandon a brand in favor of a competitor, such as [[Sonichu]] fans who became fans of [[Asperchu]], to be "hypocrites." Chris seems to consider being a consumer of a particular brand as something like a relationship - at one point clumsily attempting to use a mangled quote from the video game [[Brutal Legend]] to explain this strange belief, saying that merchandise was like a wedding ring and that as long as there was branded merchandise available, fans should stay loyal<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>.

Chris is highly susceptible to marketing and branding; he feels strong loyalty to brands even, and perhaps especially, if they are essentially identical to their rivals. He is drawn to virtually every attempt at generating brand loyalty, compulsively entering any contest he encounters and fastidiously collecting various loyalty points, including [[My Coke Rewards]] and [[Wikipedia:McDonald's Monopoly|''McDonald's Monopoly'']].

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|left|Free advertising]]
Chris seems to struggle to understand the economics of advertisements, instead seeing them as positive features in the media he enjoys. He happily included his own versions of advertisements and product placement for real brands in his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] and nearly every issue of [[Sonichu]]; he seemed genuinely surprised that Coke, for example, wouldn't want one of his fake Coke ads - "hand-drawn charm" notwithstanding - on the [[Cwcipedia]]. He also frequently states that his videos are sponsored or "brought to you by" various companies with which he has no business relationship and uses his own variation of marketing speak to plug their products. <ref>[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]</ref>

He is a vigorous defender of his favored brands in unusual ways, warning his readers not to purchase pirated versions of [[Little Big Planet]] (a PS3 exclusive title) for Xbox 360, despite the fact that this is impossible.

{{clear}}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==
{{quote|I had to do was exactly...watch Sonic the Hedgehog...uh, cartoon...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the end of it…|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Chris, discussing his obligations to the Sega Corporation]]}}
[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|A match made in heaven?]]
Sonic is the quintessential example of Chris's intense brand loyalty. Chris is in many ways the product of Sega's attempt to allow people to feel a personal connection with electronic appliances. Following Mario's success for Nintendo, Sonic was designed to appeal to young children and act as a mascot for Sega. He was concocted by combining elements from other popular cultural elements of the early 1990s, including Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Santa Claus. Part of Sega's strategy was to employ a multi-pronged marketing technique, including video games, television shows, and contests. Chris followed all of these closely and in a fateful moment became the winner of the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes]], which cemented Sonic's place of honor in Chris's mind. Sonic became Chris's "lifelong hero," replacing his previous "lifelong hero" [[The American Rabbit]]. (Despite Sonic's much greater grip on his life, Chris has often felt compelled to mention the American Rabbit, as if out of some obligation.) While Sonic was certainly a popular franchise, particularly in the 1990s, Chris became obsessed with the hedgehog to a level likely unanticipated by Sega. During the 1990s Sonic occupied nearly all of his thinking, serving as a fantasy world in which he could escape from the realities of daily life. Chris would generally combine Sonic with whatever he was doing, whether it was replacing the characters in Goosebumps books with Sonic characters or combining [[Bionic|Sonic with basketball to form the recolor "Bionic]]." Over the past two decades Chris has purchased nearly every Sonic-branded game, toy, and bit of merchandise, and seems to view Sonic as something like an old personal friend.

Instead of growing up and moving on when the Sonic brand began to grow stale at the end of the 1990s, Chris merged Sonic with his other beloved franchise at the time, [[Pokemon]], to create [[Sonichu]], who has largely replaced Sonic as the primary character in his internal fantasy world - although Sonic still makes occasional cameo appearances.

Despite Sonic's sidekick Tails' major presence in Sonic media, Chris rarely refers to him and conspicuously left him, or any recolor of him or two-tailed anything, absent from ''Sonichu.'' Some have speculated that this may be due to popular schoolyard rumors that conjectured that Sonic and Tails were in a homosexual relationship. Chris's notorious [[homophobia]] may have caused him to have an aversion to a character that he imagined might have tempted Sonic from "the straight path."

This sort of loyalty seems to even extend to the spinoffs as well. Despite three American cartoons (including the one kicked off his love for Sonic), two Japanese cartoons, and a long-running American comic, most if not all of Chris' usages of Sonic center on the video games.

Although Mario and Nintendo were vicious rivals of Sonic and Sega, Chris seems to have been largely oblivious to this tension and never subjected them to the kind of hatred he would aim at rivals of his favored products later in his life.

==[[Playstation 3]] vs. [[HEXbox]]==
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|Violence is never the answer.]]
[[Image:cwcps3_by_nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|right]]
{{quote|Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable are Truly a place I can call My Digital Home. :D Happy Anniversary, Playstation 3; you are Truly the Best Life Upgrade Ever|[[PS3 History Level|Chris expressing TRUE and HONEST love.]]}}
Perhaps Chris's best known case of brand loyalty is his sycophantic love of the [[PS3|Sony PlayStation 3]] and abject hatred for for the [[XBox|Microsoft XBox 360]]. While fanboyism for these video game consoles is certainly well known and the rivalry between these products was referred to as a "console war," Chris, as he frequently does, took it to a new level, irrationally hating the Xbox 360 and heaping love and money on Sony. Chris was obsessed with the PS3 long before he was able to purchase one, stating that he would throw out the cure for autism for the $600 hunk of black plastic <ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref>. When he finally bought a PS3, after failing to [[Pixelated PS3|win it in a contest]], he considered it to be the "ultimate life upgrade." The PS3 and its online component the [[PSN]], where he has spent thousands of dollars, became an extremely important part of every day for Chris. He would also use his limited budget to purchase numerous Sony branded accessories, including a flat-screen TV, a [[PSEye]], PSmove, PSmove Sharpshooter and multiple [[Guitar Hero]] controllers. Chris seems to find more pleasure in the purchasing of PS3 content than in its actual use. He frequently buys downloadable content for games he does not own. Chris seems to consider the PS3 and its games and accessories to be a genuine life improvement or something akin to investments rather than a glorified hugbox; how these electronic gizmos do anything but distract him from reality remains unclear. Chris went to great lengths to express his distaste for the PS3 primary rival: the Xbox 360, or "HEXbox" as he liked to call it. When Chris would propose a videogame such as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]], he would make sure to state that it would be for all consoles... HEXbox excepted. Chris went as far as defacing in-store advertisements for the Xbox while yelling "kick that hex-bawx" <ref>August 2010</ref> and frequently lashing out at those who appeared to like or be affiliated with the Xbox. Chris's reasons for hating the Xbox 360 was never clearly defined. When pressed for answers, Chris would generally cite Xbox Live's (Xbox's online component) cost or the infamous "[[Wikipedia:Red_ring_of_death#.22General_Hardware_Failure.22_errors|red ring of death]]" <ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> He would later admit that his anger stemmed from jealousy over being unable to afford an original Xbox and that the aforementioned reasons were merely excuses<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>. Though he later softened his stance against the Xbox under the influence of [[Jackie]], the rivalry between the consoles and Chris's loyalty towards Sony was at its peak during the height of Chris trolling. This caused his hatred to become well known and the Xbox 360 to become a bit of a mascot for trolls. Chris also associated the Xbox with trolls, depicting [[Alec Benson Leary]] as an Xbox user. Even though he has recanted much of his hatred towards the XBox 360, he has not made the choice to purchase one, despite spending the vast majority of his money on video games.

Ironically, Chris once felt similar hatred towards the Sony PS 1 and 2, which were at that time rivals to his beloved Nintendo N64 and GameCube respectively. His hatred for Sony and its gaming products, described by Chris as equal to his contemporary hatred of Microsoft, evaporated when he purchased a PS 1 at an SPCA rummage sale for a "bargain." He intended to sell it for profit, but instead played it and found it to be enjoyable. Instead of learning from this, discovering that rival consoles can be equally enjoyable, Chris simply became a Sony fanboy and began hating Microsoft.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==[[Autism]] vs. [[Asperger's]]==
{{quote|Competing Retards|[[Mailbag 19|The first words that comes to Chris's mind when he thinks of Asperger's syndrome]]}}
Chris extends his loyalty to brands far outside the normal realms of products and services and into the world of mental abnormality. He is extremely loyal to his diagnosis of autism, swearing by "my autism" multiple times and considering it to be an integral part of his identity, despite having serious difficulty grasping how the condition affects his ability to function. Just as with the PS3 and Xbox 360, Chris has identified a rival to autism in Asperger's syndrome. Despite the fact that Chris's "high-functioning" autism and Asperger's are essentially identical diagnoses, Chris feels that people with Asperger's are trying to "steal his limelight" and in fact stated that the name of the disorder, beyond merely sounding like "a bad cut of meat," brought to mind "competing retards." Just like with Coke and Pepsi, Chris has taken two functionally identical things and chosen one to identify with and the other to hate.

==[[Harry Potter]] vs. [[Pokemon]]==

[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Chris expressing his hatred for "that spaz" the only way he knows how... in Pokemon form.]]
Although this is not seen as a traditional rivalry, Chris has a strong dislike of the boy wizard Harry Potter because he perceives him to be a threat to the Pokemon franchise. Chris calls him a "total spaz"<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref> and at one point even [[Death threats|''threated to kill'']] the fictional character.<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/e/ea/100-DarkCWC.jpg "Dark Christian" card from [[Wall of Originals]].]</ref> His hatred appears to stem from Chris's perception that a brand was once again "stealing the limelight" from something he identified with, in this case Pokemon. When Harry Potter and Pokemon were released at roughly the same time while Chris was in high school. While Pokemon was aimed at younger children, Harry Potter targeted a slightly older, more literate demographic. To Chris, the choice was obvious. At the request of [[Jackie]], Chris [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dressed up as a wizard and made reference to Harry Potter]], but this was almost certainly merely an attempt to please his sweetheart rather than a genuine fondness for the series.

==[[Nintendo]]==
{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have [[Chris and money|invested]] THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in Nintendo Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA.|[[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris's Inspiration|Chris, expecting his loyalty to Nintendo to be repaid.]]}}
Chris has been a lifelong fan of Nintendo products, and although his love of Sonic prevented him from becoming obsessed with Mario, Chris has owned nearly every Nintendo console and handheld since the NES (there have been no signs of the infamous Virtual Boy). His relationship with Nintendo and his interactions with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who he believed was interested in producing a Sonichu game, displays Chris's odd understanding of consumer/corporate relations. It appears that Chris believed that his loyalty to various corporate interests would be recognized and returned in a reciprocal fashion, as he listed his multitude of Nintendo purchases in an attempt to convince the game developer to work with him<ref>Miyamoto emails</ref>.

==Sexuality==
{{quote|I am straight; do not label me otherwise. I would rather suffer a painful [[Tomgirl|gender-change operation]] than ever be a [[homo]].|[[Sonichu #9|Chris demonstrating proper use of a semicolon.]]}}
{{quote|Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, [[Virgin#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|THE FIRST TIME]], and maybe the second time as well, I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.|[[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_.28CCS.29|Chris discussing his plans for his first time with his webmaster.]]}}
Chris's allegiance to heterosexuality and hatred for homosexuality could be seen as a form of warped brand loyalty. To Chris, heterosexual love is the most pure joyous expression of emotion that can be experienced, the search for which is the noblest of quests. It's opposite: homosexual love, on the other hand, is a warped dangerous temptation and those who practice it are worthy of scorn. Chris has even forgone platonic same-sex friendships in an effort to avoid any possibility that he might associate with and be tempted by a homosexual. Just as with his hatred for the XBox, Chris is completely closed minded when it comes to evaluating homosexuality; to him it is the enemy and the mere thought of it makes him blind with rage. Despite his efforts at finding heterosexual love, Chris seems more concerned with insuring that he is properly labeled as a STRAIGHT man. His efforts to prove to the world that he is in fact not a homo include going as far as planning to record and publicize his first heterosexual experience against the wishes of his hypothetical partner. Whether Chris's hatred for homosexual stems from jealousy, as it did with his hatred for the XBox, is unknown.

The origin of this loyalty can be traced back to his childhood: [[Bob]], being a Southern gentleman, not only disliked homosexuals in the traditional bigoted manner, but suffered from frequent paranoid delusions regarding their roll in his life. When Chris ran into trouble at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary]] Bob blamed the problems not only on the principal (who he was certain was a homosexual), but on the school board which, for reasons left unclear, he believed to be stacked with homosexuals who despised his family. Even incredibly [[naive]] Christian was capable of seeing that this was, at the very least, an exaggeration, if not a paranoid persecution fantasy<ref>Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.</ref>. Nevertheless this kind of hatred and paranoia sunk into Chris's mind and was compounded by Bob's unfounded and bizarre belief that Chris's trolling originated with several homosexuals who he believed frequented the [[GAMe PLACe]].

Chris's feelings on lesbianism are more nuanced. While he still feels the Biblical injunction against same-sex coupling applies, scissoring is just too hot for him to condemn.
==[[Axe]]==
{{quote|I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN"|[[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|Chris]]}}
Chris's loyalty to this multinational deodorant brand (called Lynx in the UK) is a classic example of Chris taking advertising literally. Early commercials for the deodorant depicted women throwing themselves at men in a manner reminiscent of Chris's desire for women to approach him in public. Rather than seeing this as hyperbole, Chris seems to believe that the product may have this effect in reality. Obviously Axe has never worked as advertised for Chris, but he has maintained his status as a loyal customer for many years.

Axe is also an example of how Chris considers the products he buys an integral component of his identity. As a loyal Axe customer, he was deeply disturbed when he was told that Axe was popular in the gay community, and he felt the need to use [[Youtube]] to [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|request that the Unilever Corporation]] use labels to specifically forbid homosexuals from using their products.

==[[McDonald's]] vs. [[Burger King]]==
{{quote|Tea for a dollar, in a Large Cup, at McDonalds; go Dollar-Menuaires!|[[IRC (24 October 2008)|Chris, plugging his favorite restaurant to the trolls.]]}}
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris and cinematography|An example of Chris's brilliant camerawork]]]]
Chris is a lifelong acolyte of McDonald's and thus dislikes its main competitor, Burger King. McDonald's is a major component of Chris's life. He eats a significant percentage of his meals at the popular fast-food restaurant, considers it the perfect location for a first date, and features it as a location in several issues of Sonichu. One of his most cherished and sickening fantasies involves having sex with his sweetheart in the handicapped bathroom of the local McDonald's. Chris has little love for Burger King, although he certainly never mentioned refusing to eat the food when dragged there by his father, who preferred it to McDonald's. (Bob and Chris apparently did have some dispute about coupons with the manager of their local Burger King, resulting in Chris's bizarre attempt to get his trolls to troll her by creating an article on the CWCki.) Chris has never mentioned having any strong positive or negative feelings toward the Wendy's chain before his brief stint as an employee, and seems not to hold animosity toward the chain as a whole despite being fired from his local store after three days.

Some time in 2012 Chris seems to have turned on McDonald's, urging people to avoid the Forest Lakes location as he believes he has been discriminated against due to his autism and foul mouth. Whether Chris himself has actually stopped going to the nearest location of his favorite restaurant remains to be seen.

==Coke and Pepsi==
Surprisingly, Chris does not appear to have a specific long-term loyalty in this classic example of a nonexistent choice. He has been known to drink both, but claims that Sonichu drinks only [[CWC Cola]], a variant of Pepsi with a [[Semen|special ingredient]]. At one point he supported a boycott of Pepsi due to its alleged "gay-friendliness." He has been known to hoard My Coke Rewards points; in the Ivy Q&A, Ivy describes his becoming miffed at having to use his points to buy a different version of a song he already owned to fulfill Ivy's request for a video. (One might think that a few points are a trifling thing when sweet, sweet [[china]] is the potential reward, but then one probably isn't Chris.)
==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Song for Jackie.MOV

2012-10-28T07:40:52Z

IwegalBadnik: Added template; if someone has this video, kindly direct the page to it

[[File:128469211411.jpg|thumb|The greatest show on earth]]

'''Song for Jackie.MOV ''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]] 16 [[September 2010]]. At [[Jackie's]] direction, Chris dons a turban and paints his face in black and red to resemble [http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Mr._Popo Mr. Popo] from ''[[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]'' and [[Chris and Music|"sings"]] his version of [[Wikipedia:Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm|"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]] by [[Wikipedia:Crash Test Dummies|Crash Test Dummies]]. He rounds out the performance with an impromptu [[Wikipedia:Minstrel show|minstrel song]] adapted from the Spike Lee movie ''[[Wikipedia:Bamboozled|Bamboozled]]'', his [[muscle bra|masculine bosoms]] flailing wildly with each gyration.

 

==Video==

{{quotebox|Attention, I am portraying the Dragonball Character, Mr. Popo.

I am not, [[:File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg|nor would ever]], making fun of any [[black people]] living, [[Chris and Death|dead]] or fiction. Nor am I making fun of the Hindu people. Both of which, Blacks and Hindus, are good people too.

Again, this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus. It is only a video for my girlfriend to cosplay as Mr. Popo from the Dragonball Television Series.}}

{{Template:Deletedvideo}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song For Jackie
| video =
| stardate = 16 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Racism|text}}, {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{DenimJacket|text}}
| previous = [[XBox is OK.MOV]]
| next = [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|left|♫ Mammy, I'm home from Alabammy ♫]]
[[File:PopoWTF.jpg|thumb|Mr. Popo, who Chris was trying to impersonate in this video]]

[''fake sounding accent''] 'Ello. I am [[Pedo-glasses|glasses]] wearing genie, [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]]. [''nods and folds his arms, then turns on audio''] I tell you a story. It is a good story. You will enjoy story.

[''plays "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"'']

[''starts "singing" ''] Once there was this boy [''flashes manboobs''] who was born with some autism and yet made a few friends, but after his [[high school]] years he...[[ShecameforCWC.JPG|lost]]...his [[gal pals|friends]] and was [[Stress|troll tortured]]. By [[Trolls|bullies]] who were [[Chris and his Ego|jealous of his material things]] [wiggles his head from side to side and waggles his finger] Nonononononono. [''hums'']

Once there was this girl who continued to have friends long after high school. She could have had her pick of men. But then she found the wayward lost boy. They matched up very well, [[:File: SchuComic10P09.jpg|heavenly matched]]...
Loooove, it was so- [''hums'']

And both [''starts to say 'boy', turns it into 'girl'''] [[Gay|boirl]] and boy were glad when they both saw each other's eyes. When they met up! They both thought of each other. Very often! They had enjoyed each other's company sweetly. Oh, roller coaster ecstasy. [[Chris and Reality|In fantasy]], their days were simple and they looked to be married and have their own [[Reginald Chandler|boy]]. And [[Crystal|girl]]. It's true! Wait for [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|marriage invitations]]!

[''Suddenly animated, imitating fiddle player''] And there ain't no Saiyans on de [[Gitar of Fail|fiddle]], no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

[''begins to dance what is most likely a continuation of whatever Minstrel Song he saw; a mockery of African aboriginal dancing'']
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

And there ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this! Ain't no Saiyans on de fiddle, no Saiyans on de fiddle like this!

Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!
Asanyoheywahwah hohoheyahoh!

[''spoken''] Happy [[hanky-panky|loving]]! Between me and Jackie! I love you [[sweetheart]]. [[Duck|Boing!]]

==See also==
* [[For My Sweetest Ivy]]
* [[A CWC Audition]]
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|For J-R's Eyes Only]]
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[XBox is OK.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV]]}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2010| 2010-09-16]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-09-16]]

Chris and brand loyalty

2012-10-27T21:40:58Z

IwegalBadnik:

{{quote|You gotta have merchandise because it's like a wedding ring for the product. And it makes it- and then the fans will- will continue to support you as long as you have the merchandise a- it's like a wedding ring. |[[Download For Play Only|Chris, making his thoughts on branding as clear as he can.]]}}
[[Image:Chris Love Micky D's.png|thumb|right|I'm LOVIN' it.]]
'''Brand loyalty''' is a consumer's commitment to continually purchasing a product or service from a particular company or business. Companies use advertising, loyalty programs, product placement and contests to establish a brand which consumers will recognize, consider valuable, and seek out at the expense of other brands. Due to his difficulty separating [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] Chris tends to consider advertisements to be [[AXE|literal documentation of a product's effectiveness]] rather than intrinsically biased attempts to lure consumers. This, in combination with his [[Autism|rigid thinking, fear of change and attraction to routine]], has led Chris to have intense brand loyalty for certain products as well as hatred for their perceived rivals. His loyalty even extends to areas that would not normally considered "brands," such as mental disabilities and sexual orientations.

==Overview==
{{Quote|Oil of Olay brand bar soap... Softer, smoother skin in a week or so! And, not only that, it gets you clean, and it makes you smell good... I just used it to wash my hands! And I use it in the shower! To [[Mass debating|wash myself vigorously]]! I certainly do not use any animals, my own [[Semen|jizz]], or anything else other than Oil of Olay brand bars of soap. And Axe body wash. And shampoo, and conditioner. Available in anti-dandruff form! But anyway, Oil of Olay. Softer, smoother skin in a week, and makes you very clean. Have a nice day!|[[Anti Troll Movement Video1|Chris, promoting hygiene products without irony.]]}}
[[Image:Rubi 110309.jpg|thumb|right|Chris considered this a reward for drinking thousands of cans of Coke.]]
Chris considers his choice of brands to be a major component of his identity. In general, once Chris has committed to a particular "brand" he will stand by it regardless of its quality. He considers those who abandon a brand in favor of a competitor, such as [[Sonichu]] fans who became fans of [[Asperchu]], to be "hypocrites." Chris seems to consider being a consumer of a particular brand as something like a relationship - at one point clumsily attempting to use a mangled quote from the video game [[Brutal Legend]] to explain this strange belief, saying that merchandise was like a wedding ring and that as long as there was branded merchandise available, fans should stay loyal<ref>[[Download For Play Only]]</ref>.

Chris is highly susceptible to marketing and branding; he feels strong loyalty to brands even, and perhaps especially, if they are essentially identical to their rivals. He is drawn to virtually every attempt at generating brand loyalty, compulsively entering any contest he encounters and fastidiously collecting various loyalty points, including [[My Coke Rewards]] and [[Wikipedia:McDonald's Monopoly|''McDonald's Monopoly'']].

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|left|Free advertising]]
Chris seems to struggle to understand the economics of advertisements, instead seeing them as positive features in the media he enjoys. He happily included his own versions of advertisements and product placement for real brands in his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]] and nearly every issue of [[Sonichu]]; he seemed genuinely surprised that Coke, for example, wouldn't want one of his fake Coke ads - "hand-drawn charm" notwithstanding - on the [[Cwcipedia]]. He also frequently states that his videos are sponsored or "brought to you by" various companies with which he has no business relationship and uses his own variation of marketing speak to plug their products. <ref>[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]</ref>

He is a vigorous defender of his favored brands in unusual ways, warning his readers not to purchase pirated versions of [[Little Big Planet]] (a PS3 exclusive title) for Xbox 360, despite the fact that this is impossible.

{{clear}}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==
{{quote|I had to do was exactly...watch Sonic the Hedgehog...uh, cartoon...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the end of it…|[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Chris, discussing his obligations to the Sega Corporation]]}}
[[Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|thumb|right|A match made in heaven?]]
Sonic is the quintessential example of Chris's intense brand loyalty. Chris is in many ways the product of Sega's attempt to allow people to feel a personal connection with electronic appliances. Following Mario's success for Nintendo, Sonic was designed to appeal to young children and act as a mascot for Sega. He was concocted by combining elements from other popular cultural elements of the early 1990s, including Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Santa Claus. Part of Sega's strategy was to employ a multi-pronged marketing technique, including video games, television shows, and contests. Chris followed all of these closely and in a fateful moment became the winner of the [[Sonic Watch and Win Sweepstakes]], which cemented Sonic's place of honor in Chris's mind. Sonic became Chris's "lifelong hero," replacing his previous "lifelong hero" [[The American Rabbit]]. (Despite Sonic's much greater grip on his life, Chris has often felt compelled to mention the American Rabbit, as if out of some obligation.) While Sonic was certainly a popular franchise, particularly in the 1990s, Chris became obsessed with the hedgehog to a level likely unanticipated by Sega. During the 1990s Sonic occupied nearly all of his thinking, serving as a fantasy world in which he could escape from the realities of daily life. Chris would generally combine Sonic with whatever he was doing, whether it was replacing the characters in Goosebumps books with Sonic characters or combining [[Bionic|Sonic with basketball to form the recolor "Bionic]]." Over the past two decades Chris has purchased nearly every Sonic-branded game, toy, and bit of merchandise, and seems to view Sonic as something like an old personal friend.

Instead of growing up and moving on when the Sonic brand began to grow stale at the end of the 1990s, Chris merged Sonic with his other beloved franchise at the time, [[Pokemon]], to create [[Sonichu]], who has largely replaced Sonic as the primary character in his internal fantasy world - although Sonic still makes occasional cameo appearances.

Despite Sonic's sidekick Tails' major presence in Sonic media, Chris rarely refers to him and conspicuously left him, or any recolor of him or two-tailed anything, absent from ''Sonichu.'' Some have speculated that this may be due to popular schoolyard rumors that conjectured that Sonic and Tails were in a homosexual relationship. Chris's notorious [[homophobia]] may have caused him to have an aversion to a character that he imagined might have tempted Sonic from "the straight path."

Although Mario and Nintendo were vicious rivals of Sonic and Sega, Chris seems to have been largely oblivious to this tension and never subjected them to the kind of hatred he would aim at rivals of his favored products later in his life.

==[[Playstation 3]] vs. [[HEXbox]]==
[[Image:KillThatHexBawx.jpg|thumb|left|Violence is never the answer.]]
[[Image:cwcps3_by_nevermonkey-d4jrnny.jpg|thumb|right]]
Perhaps Chris's best known case of brand loyalty is his sycophantic love of the [[PS3|Sony PlayStation 3]] and abject hatred for for the [[XBox|Microsoft XBox 360]]. While fanboyism for these video game consoles is certainly well known and the rivalry between these products was referred to as a "console war," Chris, as he frequently does, took it to a new level, irrationally hating the Xbox 360 and heaping love and money on Sony. Chris was obsessed with the PS3 long before he was able to purchase one, stating that he would throw out the cure for autism for the $600 hunk of black plastic <ref>[[Pixelated PS3]]</ref>. When he finally bought a PS3, after failing to [[Pixelated PS3|win it in a contest]], he considered it to be the "ultimate life upgrade." The PS3 and its online component the [[PSN]], where he has spent thousands of dollars, became an extremely important part of every day for Chris. He would use his limited budget to purchase numerous Sony branded accessories, including a flat-screen TV, a [[PSEye]], PSmove, PSmove sharpshooter and multiple [[Guitar Hero]] controllers. Chris seems to consider the PS3 and its games and accessories to be a genuine life improvement akin to investments rather than a glorified hugbox; how these electronic gizmos do anything but distract him from reality remains unclear. Chris went to great lengths to express his distaste for the PS3 primary rival: the Xbox 360, or "HEXbox" as he liked to call it. When Chris would propose a videogame such as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]], he would make sure to state that it would be for all consoles... HEXbox excepted. Chris went as far as defacing in-store advertisements for the Xbox while yelling "kick that hex-bawx" <ref>August 2010</ref> and frequently lashing out at those who appeared to like or be affiliated with the Xbox. Chris's reasons for hating the Xbox 360 was never clearly defined. When pressed for answers, Chris would generally cite Xbox Live's (Xbox's online component) cost or the infamous "[[Wikipedia:Red_ring_of_death#.22General_Hardware_Failure.22_errors|red ring of death]]" <ref>[[Mailbag 5]]</ref> He would later admit that his anger stemmed from jealousy over being unable to afford an original Xbox and that the aforementioned reasons were merely excuses<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>. Though he later softened his stance against the Xbox under the influence of [[Jackie]], the rivalry between the consoles and Chris's loyalty towards Sony was at its peak during the height of Chris trolling. This caused his hatred to become well known and the Xbox 360 to become a bit of a mascot for trolls. Chris also associated the Xbox with trolls, depicting [[Alec Benson Leary]] as an Xbox user. Even though he has recanted much of his hatred towards the XBox 360, he has not made the choice to purchase one, despite spending the vast majority of his money on video games.

Ironically, Chris once felt similar hatred towards the Sony PS 1 and 2, which were at that time rivals to his beloved Nintendo N64 and GameCube respectively. His hatred for Sony and its gaming products, described by Chris as equal to his contemporary hatred of Microsoft, evaporated when he purchased a PS 1 at an SPCA rummage sale for a "bargain." He intended to sell it for profit, but instead played it and found it to be enjoyable. Instead of learning from this, discovering that rival consoles can be equally enjoyable, Chris simply became a Sony fanboy and began hating Microsoft.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==[[Autism]] vs. [[Asperger's]]==
{{quote|Competing Retards|[[Mailbag 19|The first words that comes to Chris's mind when he thinks of Asperger's syndrome]]}}
Chris extends his loyalty to brands far outside the normal realms of products and services and into the world of mental abnormality. He is extremely loyal to his diagnosis of autism, swearing by "my autism" multiple times and considering it to be an integral part of his identity, despite having serious difficulty grasping how the condition affects his ability to function. Just as with the PS3 and Xbox 360, Chris has identified a rival to autism in Asperger's syndrome. Despite the fact that Chris's "high-functioning" autism and Asperger's are essentially identical diagnoses, Chris feels that people with Asperger's are trying to "steal his limelight" and in fact stated that the name of the disorder, beyond merely sounding like "a bad cut of meat," brought to mind "competing retards." Just like with Coke and Pepsi, Chris has taken two functionally identical things and chosen one to identify with and the other to hate.

==[[Harry Potter]] vs. [[Pokemon]]==

[[Image:100-DarkCWC.jpg|thumb|right|Chris expressing his hatred for "that spaz" the only way he knows how... in Pokemon form.]]
Although this is not seen as a traditional rivalry, Chris has a strong dislike of the boy wizard Harry Potter because he perceives him to be a threat to the Pokemon franchise. Chris calls him a "total spaz"<ref>[[Mailbag 7|Mailbag #7]]</ref> and at one point even [[Death threats|''threated to kill'']] the fictional character.<ref>[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/images/e/ea/100-DarkCWC.jpg "Dark Christian" card from [[Wall of Originals]].]</ref> His hatred appears to stem from Chris's perception that a brand was once again "stealing the limelight" from something he identified with, in this case Pokemon. When Harry Potter and Pokemon were released at roughly the same time while Chris was in high school. While Pokemon was aimed at younger children, Harry Potter targeted a slightly older, more literate demographic. To Chris, the choice was obvious. At the request of [[Jackie]], Chris [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dressed up as a wizard and made reference to Harry Potter]], but this was almost certainly merely an attempt to please his sweetheart rather than a genuine fondness for the series.

==[[Nintendo]]==
{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have [[Chris and money|invested]] THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in Nintendo Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA.|[[Miyamoto_Saga#Chris's Inspiration|Chris, expecting his loyalty to Nintendo to be repaid.]]}}
Chris has been a lifelong fan of Nintendo products, and although his love of Sonic prevented him from becoming obsessed with Mario, Chris has owned nearly every Nintendo console and handheld since the NES (there have been no signs of the infamous Virtual Boy). His relationship with Nintendo and his interactions with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who he believed was interested in producing a Sonichu game, displays Chris's odd understanding of consumer/corporate relations. It appears that Chris believed that his loyalty to various corporate interests would be recognized and returned in a reciprocal fashion, as he listed his multitude of Nintendo purchases in an attempt to convince the game developer to work with him<ref>Miyamoto emails</ref>.

==Sexuality==
{{quote|I am straight; do not label me otherwise. I would rather suffer a painful [[Tomgirl|gender-change operation]] than ever be a [[homo]].|[[Sonichu #9|Chris demonstrating proper use of a semicolon.]]}}
{{quote|Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, [[Virgin#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|THE FIRST TIME]], and maybe the second time as well, I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.|[[ChrisChanSonichu_and_WikiSysop_correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_.28CCS.29|Chris discussing his plans for his first time with his webmaster.]]}}
Chris's allegiance to heterosexuality and hatred for homosexuality could be seen as a form of warped brand loyalty. To Chris, heterosexual love is the most pure joyous expression of emotion that can be experienced, the search for which is the noblest of quests. It's opposite: homosexual love, on the other hand, is a warped dangerous temptation and those who practice it are worthy of scorn. Chris has even forgone platonic same-sex friendships in an effort to avoid any possibility that he might associate with and be tempted by a homosexual. Just as with his hatred for the XBox, Chris is completely closed minded when it comes to evaluating homosexuality; to him it is the enemy and the mere thought of it makes him blind with rage. Despite his efforts at finding heterosexual love, Chris seems more concerned with insuring that he is properly labeled as a STRAIGHT man. His efforts to prove to the world that he is in fact not a homo include going as far as planning to record and publicize his first heterosexual experience against the wishes of his hypothetical partner. Whether Chris's hatred for homosexual stems from jealousy, as it did with his hatred for the XBox, is unknown.

The origin of this loyalty can be traced back to his childhood: [[Bob]], being a Southern gentleman, not only disliked homosexuals in the traditional bigoted manner, but suffered from frequent paranoid delusions regarding their roll in his life. When Chris ran into trouble at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary]] Bob blamed the problems not only on the principal (who he was certain was a homosexual), but on the school board which, for reasons left unclear, he believed to be stacked with homosexuals who despised his family. Even incredibly [[naive]] Christian was capable of seeing that this was, at the very least, an exaggeration, if not a paranoid persecution fantasy<ref>Chris, on IRC, circa 21 January 2009.</ref>. Nevertheless this kind of hatred and paranoia sunk into Chris's mind and was compounded by Bob's unfounded and bizarre belief that Chris's trolling originated with several homosexuals who he believed frequented the [[GAMe PLACe]].

Chris's feelings on lesbianism are more nuanced. While he still feels the Biblical injunction against same-sex coupling applies, scissoring is just too hot for him to condemn.
==[[Axe]]==
{{quote|I respectfully and humbly request that on the package a statement li—such as "DESIGNED ONLY FOR STRAIGHT ORIENTED MEN"|[[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|Chris]]}}
Chris's loyalty to this multinational deodorant brand (called Lynx in the UK) is a classic example of Chris taking advertising literally. Early commercials for the deodorant depicted women throwing themselves at men in a manner reminiscent of Chris's desire for women to approach him in public. Rather than seeing this as hyperbole, Chris seems to believe that the product may have this effect in reality. Obviously Axe has never worked as advertised for Chris, but he has maintained his status as a loyal customer for many years.

Axe is also an example of how Chris considers the products he buys an integral component of his identity. As a loyal Axe customer, he was deeply disturbed when he was told that Axe was popular in the gay community, and he felt the need to use [[Youtube]] to [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE|request that the Unilever Corporation]] use labels to specifically forbid homosexuals from using their products.

==[[McDonald's]] vs. [[Burger King]]==
{{quote|Tea for a dollar, in a Large Cup, at McDonalds; go Dollar-Menuaires!|[[IRC (24 October 2008)|Chris, plugging his favorite restaurant to the trolls.]]}}
[[Image:Burgerking.jpg|thumb|left|[[Chris and cinematography|An example of Chris's brilliant camerawork]]]]
Chris is a lifelong acolyte of McDonald's and thus dislikes its main competitor, Burger King. McDonald's is a major component of Chris's life. He eats a significant percentage of his meals at the popular fast-food restaurant, considers it the perfect location for a first date, and features it as a location in several issues of Sonichu. One of his most cherished and sickening fantasies involves having sex with his sweetheart in the handicapped bathroom of the local McDonald's. Chris has little love for Burger King, although he certainly never mentioned refusing to eat the food when dragged there by his father, who preferred it to McDonald's. (Bob and Chris apparently did have some dispute about coupons with the manager of their local Burger King, resulting in Chris's bizarre attempt to get his trolls to troll her by creating an article on the CWCki.) Chris has never mentioned having any strong positive or negative feelings toward the Wendy's chain before his brief stint as an employee, and seems not to hold animosity toward the chain as a whole despite being fired from his local store after three days.

Some time in 2012 Chris seems to have turned on McDonald's, urging people to avoid the Forest Lakes location as he believes he has been discriminated against due to his autism and foul mouth. Whether Chris himself has actually stopped going to the nearest location of his favorite restaurant remains to be seen.

==Coke and Pepsi==
Surprisingly, Chris does not appear to have a specific long-term loyalty in this classic example of a nonexistent choice. He has been known to drink both, but claims that Sonichu drinks only [[CWC Cola]], a variant of Pepsi with a [[Semen|special ingredient]]. At one point he supported a boycott of Pepsi due to its alleged "gay-friendliness." He has been known to hoard My Coke Rewards points; in the Ivy Q&A, Ivy describes his becoming miffed at having to use his points to buy a different version of a song he already owned to fulfill Ivy's request for a video. (One might think that a few points are a trifling thing when sweet, sweet [[china]] is the potential reward, but then one probably isn't Chris.)
==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

Barbara Chandler

2012-10-21T08:43:35Z

IwegalBadnik: Adding strike-through to deleted link

{{quote|Get off. Before I go off.|Barbara to Chris, private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]}}

{{quote|I ain't got no [[black]] ass! You get your gutter ass down in the gutter and shut up!|Barbara, during a [[Prank_calls|prank call]], to a recording of her husband's voice}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age 71)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight overall) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]]]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref>

In 1995, an internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}

===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]]<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Song_of_christian</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cutco</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent state of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that Megan Schroeder, one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'']</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara is [[obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, has ballooned out in recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Due to her [[Obesity|massive size]], she is affectionately referred to as '''Snorlax''' by [[trolls]]. Barb's size is likely one of the reasons she sleeps a lot<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skips [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara has lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref>

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>, however "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is today, including making the living room completely uninhabitable.<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> Trolls attempted to get the house featured on the A&E show "Hoarders" by emailing the show's producers, who made a number of attempts to get in contact with the Chandlers but had no success.<ref>http://imageshack.us/f/28/cwcaeemails.jpg/</ref> Unfortunately for Barb her hoarding problems likely contributed to the death of her husband, when a bug infestation at the Chandler house forced Bob to be quarantined for bug bites, where he would die in the hospital.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In the comics===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating Education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]]
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in two videos to date as of [[February 2012]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]].
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/910 THE FATE OF EVERY SNORLAX]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M&feature=channel_video_title Interview about Barb]
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Template:DYK

2012-10-16T23:08:31Z

IwegalBadnik: Removing false info doesn't make it true...

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|0=
*...that Chris is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Nicole Gowen|Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickles|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
|1=
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ham-ye-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself?]]
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] wanted you to [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[mass debating|masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
|2=
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito Emails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [[Wikipedia:Apple_core|children's game]]?
|3=
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lover's dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[Stress|stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never]] went to Redmond like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Rule 34|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that the American government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
|4=
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[Obesity|fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the TCG gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] had a sweet green afro?
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
|5=
*...that [[Jerkief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while [[Bob|his dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Chris's Big Night Out|Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all [[CWC]] trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that all the [[Trolls|Sonichu characters]] had [[CWCipedia#The Twitter feed|Twitter]] accounts?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
|6=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*...that Chris has been [[Chris and the Law|convicted in court twice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
|7=
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the [[Homos|proud]] owner of a pink [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barbara]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*...that even now, Chris [[Obesity|does not think he is fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dream]]s?
|8=
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK|second album?]]
*...that [[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of age, [[African Americans|race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[duck|dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his ego|praised him]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenagers]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[Mass debating|masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music?]]
|9=
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''Seinfeld''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[Random-access humor|random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
|10=
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent?]]
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's fail is in defiance of genetics: his father was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl?]]
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] kept four [[Rosechu]]s imprisoned in his basement?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
|11=
*...that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] believed [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|over one billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[Kick the Autistic|KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10_September_2009|trolling stupid]]"?
}}

<noinclude>
{{clear}}

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}

[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

Template:DYK

2012-10-16T22:59:27Z

IwegalBadnik:

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2012-10-16T22:38:45Z

IwegalBadnik: Spelling

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[Miscreant]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see [[Chris in the media]]. There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and charged]] with a felony he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]].

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Many claim that his many negative qualities compel them to engage him. In other words, they troll him because he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling- this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: Not really, but you can try posting it on [[/cwc/]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] he claimed on [[Facebook]] that he fucked a hooker who complimented him on his penis size.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. He does not regularly were furry costumes although he did once dress up as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|ECV 00002]]. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furfag community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these action are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional right of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|Here]], you sick fuck.

; Will he do more [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics?]]
: Chris hasn't written a ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic since [[February 2010]] and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his [[trolls]] and [[trolls|fans]] being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore. Some of these changes were likely caused by his feud with [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s [[Asperchu]]; a trolling attempt which disrupted and altered Chris's CWCville fantasy world and may have made it impossible for him to use it as the form of escapism it once was.

==Contact Chris==

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref>

; What are his dox?
: Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out [[troll]] letters. [[Barb|His mother]] does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, [[Bob]] would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

: But if you insist, you can find them [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]].

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling his wardrobe went through several iterations before settling on its current [[tomgirl]] from.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]]

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PSone ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]].

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[cwcisms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[YouTube]] accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. Since his father's death in 2011, [[Facebook]] has been his only outlet.

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [http://cwcki.forumer.com The CWCki Forum] the official forum of this fine wiki
:* [[/cwc/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

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2012-10-16T22:36:26Z

IwegalBadnik: Did you know...nobody cares?