CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and sex

2016-08-13T09:07:53Z

JackHaywood:

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex and gender==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl or get a legitimate girlfriend, a task at which he will never achieve his main goal, namely getting a sweetheart.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===[[Chris and gender|Gender in general]]===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or [[Chris and psychology|any]] [[Chris and anger|other]] [[Chris and health|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|his]] [[Chris and reality|issues]] for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris jabbered on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris is actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense and proof of having half a brain - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever". Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s).". All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which begs the question about whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].
===Transcript===
I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Tomgirl|female]] enough or [[Chris and his ego|attractive]] enough that [[Chris and reality|a man would want to rape him.]]

==Sexting==
[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Template:DYK

2016-08-13T09:02:40Z

JackHaywood:

{{ #switch: {{{1}}}
|0=
*...that Chris claims he is no longer a [[virgin with rage]]?
*...that Chris will never get to return the favor by dancing with [[Tiffany Gowen]] at their [[high school]] reunion?
*...that Chris "buys [[Obesity|healthy food]], [[My Coke Rewards|good]] [[Alcohol|drinks]] and [[List of toys|just]] [[Video games|necessities]] with [[Monthly_tugboat|Good Money]]?"
*...that Chris will ''never'' be able to [[Special:Contributions/GodofThunderGodofWar|destroy]] the [[CWCki]]?
*...that Chris got fired from [[Wendy's]] for scaring a small child?
*...that there is [[:Category:Media needing transcription|a grand amount]] of audio needing transcription?
*...that Chris [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|ALWAYS IS]] the Mayor of [[CWCville]]?
*...that [[Pixelblocks]] are to be confused with neither [[Pickle|Pickleblocks]] nor [[Prickly-Wicklies|Pricklyblocks]]?
*...that Chris buys [[sex toys]] and [[PS3]] games and content with [[taxpayer money]]?
*...that [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] has an older brother named [[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]?
|1=
*...that Chris upgraded his anti-troll weaponry from his [[fangs]] to a [[pocket knife]]?
*...that this website, the CWCki, is a [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|LOAD OF BULL]]?
*...that [[God and Jesus]] [[Chris's Letter to Blanca|told]] Chris that [[Blanca]] was to be his TRUE and HONEST [[sweetheart]]?
*...that a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness blessing]] can counter the extreme bad luck and misfortune associated with the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack?
*...that Chris hates [[Jungle bells|internet memes]]?
*...that [[Autism Awareness E-mails|Chris is capable of taking care of himself]]?
*...that Chris once attended a [[Chris_and_psychology#Relationship_Management_Classes|Relationship Management Class]] intended for couples?
*...that [[Bob]] wanted you to [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|shut that goddamn thing off]]?
*...that Chris did not discover [[masturbation]] until the age of 16?
*...that Chris was born on [[Cwc_blog#7_January_2010|24 February]], the same day the [[CWCville|Nazi party]] was founded?
*...that when working at [[Cutco]], Chris did not have any intentions of harming himself or others with the merchandise?
|2=
*...that OFFICIAL Sonichu medallions are made of [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|C-L-A-Y]]?
*...that Chris really [[Fridays After Five|cannot dance]]?
*...that Chris drinks his own [[semen]]?
*...that Chris wishes you a [[Bunny Hop|hoppy Easter]]?
*...that in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], Chris admits that his [[Chandler Family Tree|family]] is a bunch of pack rats?
*...that Chris is a [[Surfshack Tito E-mails|horrendous racist]]?
*...that Chris has been recording himself [[Chris and anger|freaking out on camera]] as early as [[Song of Christian|10th grade]]?
*...that Chris's sense of humor is [[Random-access humor|SO RANDOM XDXD]]?
*...that '''you''' can be a REAL LIFE hero by doing stuff from the [[CWCki:Priority Listing|Priority Listing]]?
*...that the "apple-core" bit with [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] from [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is based off a [http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/210989/detail/ children's game]?
|3=
*...that Chris banned [[Twitter]] on his [[CWCipedia]]?
:*...and then changed his mind, only to ignore it?
*...that in [[2006]], Chris bought a [[Niggos|Booty-licious Love Doll]]? (It's an ass-lover's dream come true.)
*...that Chris is a [[stressed]] [[:Category:Yo! CWC Raps|homeboy]] [[Chris and the Law|imprisoned]] in [[lulz]]?
*...that Chris told his [[mom]] about him [[Bob_Walks_In_Aftermath|masturbating]], but his dad was not as open minded on the subject?
*...that Chris [[Miyamoto Saga|never went to Redmond]] like he [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|claimed]]?
*...that Chris used to [[A Week With Christian Chandler|sleep in class]] (and had no shame about it)?
*...that the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] tricked Chris again?
*...that Chris considers the "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|romance]]" in his comics as his best art?
*...that Chris describes World War II as [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Japan_War_Essay|"a very tragic event with guns, insults, and... yuck!"]]?
|4=
*...that Chris [[100 2278|cannot do one single pull-up]] or [[CWC 30 Push Ups|push-up]]?
*...that on his [[MySpace]], Chris marked his [[fat]] contacts with "More to Love"?
*...that Chris is the [[The Game Place#Chris the Card Gamer|Level-Up King]]?
*...that [[Virginia is for Virgins]]?
*...that [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|farting is OK]], and actually helps cure cancer?
*...that Chris can't even stand to look at you, you [[Secret Weapon|ugly freak!]]
*...that Chris once had a prostitute [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|hang up]] on him?
*...that [[Michael Snyder]] is a [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|''JEW!'']]
*...that Chris hates the word "[[Asperger syndrome|Aspergers]]" almost as much as the word "[[Naïve]]"?
*...that [[Bryan Bash]] sent [[Hooker incident|a handful of hookers to Chris' house]].
|5=
*...that [[Jerkhief|wooden badges]] are delicious?
*...that Chris loves [[McDonald's]] while his [[dad]] preferred [[Burger King]]?
*...that Chris is a [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay icon]]?
*...that the [[Long Island Iced Tea]] is the official cocktail of [[CWC]] and all CWC trolls?
*...that [[Ivy]] was real?
*...that Chris really likes [[Britney Spears]] (no matter what they all say)?
*...that his favorite song from "[[:Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|Air Britney]]" is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHbCK3ETweQ E-Mail My Heart]"?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] became a troll because his brother [[Ryan]] committed suicide?
*...that [[Brushfire Video|a male idiot tried to put out a fire]] while Chris just stood there?
*...that all the Sonichu characters had [[Twitter]] accounts?
|6=
*...that [[Yawning Squirtle]] sells the best [[tobacky|weed]] in [[CWCville]]?
*...that Chris doesn't give a shit about his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] and that [[Sonichu]] is merely a means to an [[china|end]]?
*...that for [[Christmas]] [[2004]], Chris asked Santa for a [[girlfriend]]?
*...that on Christmas Day 2004, Chris became depressed because he didn't get one?
*...that Chris has been [[Law|convicted in court thrice]]?
*...that Chris is a descendant of [[Anne Boleyn]], Queen of England?
*...that Chris is the [[CWC "Boyfriend"|MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE, MAN]]?
*...that Chris [[Chris and reality|believes]] that [[Sex toys|butt plugs]] are linked with [[IRC_(27_December_2008)|spontaneous human combustion]]?
*...that [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] was [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|real]]?
*...that [[Clyde Cash]] was born on the Fourth of July (and was a true American patriot)?
|7=
*...that [[Barbara Chandler]] won the [[:Image:419-CWCWeekP13.jpg|Mother of the Year 2000 award]]?
*...that "HE KNOWS [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]!" is an old meme?
*...that Chris was once the proud owner of a [[Homos|pink]] [[EBay|Leapster]], a gaming system for small children?
*...that [[Barb]] [[Mumble 2#A Wild Snorlax Appears|sings while vacuuming]]?
*...that Chris [[Fridays_After_Five|throws rocks at women]] to attract them?
*...that even now, Chris does not think he is [[fat]]?
*...that [[Sarah Jackson]], Chris's sweetheart and a Decepticon, was brutally murdered by [[Optimus Prime]]?
*...that Chris loves to give [[Cwc_blog#29_November_2009|dating advice]] to [[Manchester High School|high schoolers]] in spite of never having been on [[Dating Education|date]] as a teenager or an adult?
*...that Chris repeatedly dreamt his [[sweetheart]] amid a [[Quizzes#Christian Weston Chandler Quiz|watery maze]]?
:*...that Chris [[Autism|expects his fans to know]] what happens in his [[dreams]]?
|8=
*...that Christian and the Hedgehog Boys have a [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|second album]]?
*...that [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]] is a church for all of [[God and Jesus]]'s children, regardless of [[Chris's birthday|age]], [[race]], [[Women's rights|gender]], [[Chris and money|socio-economic situation]], or [[homos|sexual orientation]]?
*...that Chris [[Megan Schroeder|is]] [[Nudes|a]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|disgusting]] [[Homos|human]] [[Twin Falling Towers|being]]?
*...that Chris has used a ruler to [[Mumble 8|measure]] his [[dick]], but never once in his [[comic]]?
*...that Chris purged all the comments from his [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnotes]], except a poem from a [[Galpal|random girl]] which [[Chris and his Ego|praised him]]?
*...that he [[So Need a Cute Girl|never wants to hear you say]], "[[boyfriend-free girl|I have a boyfriend]]"?
*...that [[Kick the Autistic]] is America's favorite game?
*...that all the cool kids (and [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|dudes of all teenages]]) regularly check out the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]?
*...that videos of Chris [[masturbating]] will forever haunt your [[Chris Sex Videos|nightmares]]?
*...that [[Guitar Hero]] is Chris's source for [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|new music]]?
|9=
*...that [[Evan]] killed [[Simonla Rosechu|Mommy]]?
*...that Chris can handle getting [[University of Virginia|fake numbers]] from girls because of ''[[Seinfeld]]''?
*...that Chris originally was a [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#College_Time|marketing major]] (which he picked at [[random]]) before picking [[CADD]] when he enrolled at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]]?
:*...that he [[Father Call|didn't know]] what kind of jobs one could get with a CADD certificate?
:*...that he still has absolutely no idea how [[Axe|marketing]] works?
*...that Chris gave up free [[sex]] with a [[Jackie|girl]] because she pointed out some of his many, many flaws?
*...that Chris should have changed the oil in [[Son-Chu|his car]] in [[April 2009]], but still hasn't done it?
*...that Chris has a fourth love doll, [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|Yumi]]?
*...that Chris claims to weigh [[WeighIn|216 pounds]]?
*...that [[June 2015|Sega knows]] about [[Sonic Boom Protests|Chris's attempts]] to [[Keep Sonic Original|change Son]][[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!|ic's arms]]?
|10=
*...that Chris has [[Kacey_Call_21|no idea what a palindrome is]]?
*...that Chris tried starting a career as a [[Carlos Chantor|male prostitute]]?
*...that those with [[Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)|Asperger's]] try to take the Shine and Limelight away from true autistic people?
*...that [[Bob Chandler]] helped host the [[WTJU Marathon]] back in [[1990s#1990|1990]]?
*...that Chris's [[duck]] [[Jackie E-mails 23|is bigger than previously photographed, and is no longer bent]]?
*...that Chris's [[Donald Duck impersonation]] is the most terrifying thing in existence?
*...that Chris's fail is in defiance of genetics: his [[Bob Chandler|father]] was an engineer who published seven patents; his half-brothers are [[David Alan Chandler|a doctor]] and [[Cole Smithey|a successful film reviewer]]; and his [[Carol Chandler|half-sister]] is a [[Autism|mathematician]]?
*...that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[Sonichu the animated series|animated series]]?
*...that Chris is [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]]?
*...that Chris is [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|as wild as a serial raper]]?
|11=
*...that [[Bob]] believed [[Megan]], [[Michael Snyder]] and some [[homos]] are [[Matthew Noble call|behind all the trolling]]?
*...and now Chris [[Facebook#Game Place|believes it too]]?
*...that Chris joined [[DeviantART]] to get in touch with choice Fan Artists?
*...that Chris believes he has [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|over a billion fans]]?
*...that Chris wanted "Dont Ask, Don't Tell" to be repealed so that [[homos]] "[[Mailbag 49|can go die in explosions]]"?
*...that Chris went to school [[Jackie Chat 9|on the short bus]]?
*...that Chris chatted on AIM with [[Vanessa Hudgens]]?
*...that Chris has been the dog in [[America]]'s favorite game, '[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]' for his whole life?
*...that [[Random-access humor|Chris's creative process is Random, Extensive, Tough to Comprehend sometimes]]?
*...that Chris thinks you're "[[10 September 2009|trolling stupid]]"?
|12=
*...that Chris stuck his [[duck]] in some [[Cwcsicle|ice]]?
*...that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|Clyde Cash is extremely weak]]?
*...that [[Alec Benson Leary]] imprisoned four [[Rosechu]]s in his [[Asperchu parodies#Basement Rosechus|basement]]?
*...that That Chris [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|ruined a man's life]] with his advise?
*...that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] has his own [[amiibo]]?
*...that [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]?
*...that Chris goes to a [[Impulse Gay Social-Club]]?
*...that the [[American]] government pays Chris [[Monthly tugboat|$27 every single day]] to sit on his fat ass?
*...that Chris [[Autism_Awareness_E-mails|doesn't have a caretaker]], despite how badly he needs one?
*...that [[My Little Pony|Equestria Girls]] is ranked #2 in Chris's [[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Top Movies List|Top Movies List on Facebook]]?
*...that Chris has dreamt about [[Chris and sex|fucking Barb]]?
}}

<noinclude>
{{clear}}

{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki Main Page. It's a big list of Chris-related facts, divided in to blocks which get randomly displayed.
* Before adding a fact, please make sure that it is a TRUE and HONEST fact and not just something you made up.
** Also try and make sure your fact isn't already covered somewhere else in the list. Your browser's "find" function (Usually accessed via pressing CTRL+F) can be useful in helping find similar entries.
* To add your fact, simply edit this template and choose a section. Any section will do, but if you have the time try to pick one with the fewest entries within it.
* Start your entry on a new line, starting with '''*...that''' and then your fact.
* Add at least one related link which explains your fact further and check your spelling before saving.}}

[[Category:Front page templates]]
[[Category:Pages that have been edited by Chris]]
</noinclude>

User:JackHaywood

2016-07-25T08:50:08Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Template:Bisexual}}
{{userbox
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|info-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF
|id= [[File:Asspielogo.png|35px|High-Functioning Autistic]]
|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #FDEDD4
|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #D0DDDD
|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
I have wavered between Christianity and agnosticism and paganism in the past. I am now a casual worshipper of the Proto Indo European gods like '''*Dyḗws Ph₂tḗr''' and '''*Perkwunos'''.

User talk:JackHaywood

2016-07-25T08:48:31Z

JackHaywood:

==Source==

Hi, what is your source pertaining to Chris having an "open, bleeding wound on his groin"?--[[User:Galilean|Galilean]] ([[User talk:Galilean|talk]]) 18:25, 24 July 2016 (UTC)

*Not JackHaywood, but: https://kiwifar.ms/threads/fb-7-24-unclit-2-0.22822/. Chris posted about it on Facebook. --[[User:Ericitos Verdes|Ericitos Verdes]] ([[User talk:Ericitos Verdes|talk]]) 18:37, 24 July 2016 (UTC)

^ What he said. Thanks for pointing it out to him! [[User:JackHaywood|JackHaywood]] ([[User talk:JackHaywood|talk]]) 08:48, 25 July 2016 (UTC)

Chris and reality

2016-07-24T18:05:09Z

JackHaywood:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]

{{quote|I don't have to Justify [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]; they can take of that themselves.|[[Chris]], being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]].}}

'''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his [[room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his [[autism]], as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Borb|his parents]], who are (or were, in [[Bob]]'s case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonizes him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[CWCville]] is what Chris calls his imaginary, idyllic fantasy world. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World", where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreat from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus; to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}

Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds(22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Pokéball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

===Fictional Characters and Media===
As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before crashing into slumber, also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the Internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris also believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour - either the [[medallion]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magical properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to the deceased]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[GodJesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomena. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[white knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were therefore ignored.

==Descent into madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated even his closest supporters.

Particularly troubling are his October 2013 rants on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan]]'s fictitious character Megagi La Skunk has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has cursed her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be uncursed, closing by stating that he and his father's ghost will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an effort to make it resemble a [[china]]. Despite becoming infected in [[December 2014]], he simply had it pierced again. While an unfazed Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of onlookers. Eventually, he removed the piercing. How Chris's next attempt at womanhood will manifest itself is anybody's guess, but in the wake of the un-clit, one can only fear [[Cakefarts|the worst]].

Chris currently has an open bleeding wound on his groin, which he, using his magical thinking skills yet again, believes to be a pair of female genitals growing thanks to all the hypnosis videos he's watched en masse in recent months. It has to be pointed out here that even though the wound poses a serious, even fatal risk to Chris's health, he's too far past the level of insanity already required to believe cartoon characters are real to ever realise this. '''''His blindness to how deeply he misunderstands what's actually happening is now threatening his LIFE.'''''

The [[Sonic Boom Protests]] once again revealed Chris's delusions about his power and influence in the world and showed he was willing to [[26 December 2014|physically assault somebody]] to defend the honor of a fictitious character whose arms were recoloured. As of late 2015, Chris seems to have simmered down and appears to have a more positive tone in his videos, but is slowly and surely returning to the traits that once made him an internet sensation.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and reality

2016-07-24T18:03:55Z

JackHaywood:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]

{{quote|I don't have to Justify [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]; they can take of that themselves.|[[Chris]], being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]].}}

'''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his [[room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his [[autism]], as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Borb|his parents]], who are (or were, in [[Bob]]'s case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonizes him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[CWCville]] is what Chris calls his imaginary, idyllic fantasy world. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World", where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreat from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus; to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}

Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds(22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Pokéball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

===Fictional Characters and Media===
As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before crashing into slumber, also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the Internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris also believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour - either the [[medallion]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magical properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to the deceased]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[GodJesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomena. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[white knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were therefore ignored.

==Descent into madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated even his closest supporters.

Particularly troubling are his October 2013 rants on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan]]'s fictitious character Megagi La Skunk has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has cursed her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be uncursed, closing by stating that he and his father's ghost will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an effort to make it resemble a [[china]]. Despite becoming infected in [[December 2014]], he simply had it pierced again. While an unfazed Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of onlookers. Eventually, he removed the piercing. How Chris's next attempt at womanhood will manifest itself is anybody's guess, but in the wake of the un-clit, one can only fear [[Cakefarts|the worst]].

Chris currently has an open bleeding wound on his groin, which he, using his magical thinking skills yet again, believes to be a pair of female genitals growing thanks to all the hypnosis videos he's watched en masse in recent months. It has to be pointed out here that even though the wound poses a serious, even fatal risk to Chris's health, he's too far past the level of insanity already required to believe cartoon characters are real to ever realise this. '''''His blindness to how deeply he misunderstands what's actually happening is slowly KILLING HIM.'''''

The [[Sonic Boom Protests]] once again revealed Chris's delusions about his power and influence in the world and showed he was willing to [[26 December 2014|physically assault somebody]] to defend the honor of a fictitious character whose arms were recoloured. As of late 2015, Chris seems to have simmered down and appears to have a more positive tone in his videos, but is slowly and surely returning to the traits that once made him an internet sensation.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and reality

2016-07-24T17:44:02Z

JackHaywood:

[[File:Hi5.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|And this.]]

{{quote|I don't have to Justify [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]]; they can take of that themselves.|[[Chris]], being completely delusional in [[IRC (20 January 2009)]].}}

'''Reality''' is the universe from which Chris is quite detached, more than likely because he rarely leaves his [[room]]. Quite a bit of his sketchy worldview can be attributed to his [[autism]], as autistic people generally have trouble distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and therefore have a harder time with being critical towards and distancing themselves from events and ideas depicted in any fictional media, be it books, films, cartoons or video games. Because of these difficulties, autistics are also easier to manipulate and deceive, especially by sources they trust, and are as a result very impressionable when it comes to [[Chris and brand loyalty|commercials]] and [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy theories]].

Another probable cause of his detachment from reality is the behavior of [[Borb|his parents]], who are (or were, in [[Bob]]'s case) themselves not securely anchored to reality. Their habit of feeding Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was being mistreated out of jealousy and about special rules applying to him has resulted in Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]] and warped perception of anybody or anything that antagonizes him.

Chris is quick to deny indisputable notions, or outright facts, and will quickly retreat into his realm of fantasy, often to avoid [[stress]] when faced with the realization that he has been defeated, cheated or outwitted, as these instances are usually a result of his own [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]], flaws which Chris will never admit to possessing.

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[CWCville]] is what Chris calls his imaginary, idyllic fantasy world. It is his preferred means of escape from a world that does not give Chris what he feels reasonably entitled to. Above all else, CWCville is built around Chris's comfort and convenience. As its Mayor, Chris enjoys as much power and as little responsibility as he wants.

Chris believes that CWCville and all other products of his imagination actually exist in a parallel universe he calls a "Toon World", where they are free to mingle with all other fictional cartoon characters, citing the film ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]'' as a model. This strange idea may also have stemmed from the ''[[South Park]]'' episode "Imaginationland", which involved a realm where fictional characters and imaginary creations could mingle with one another. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]."<ref name="ABL call 2" /> He even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> Chris admits that CWCville is not real only to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something - if only on a metaphysical level. It may also be noted that Toon World is the name of a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card, providing yet further evidence that Chris has no originality whatsoever.

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father," in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions, and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgement infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreat from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus; to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

==In the Real World==
{{Quote|A CAR WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}

Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds(22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of [[Wikipedia:Dyscalculia|dyscalculia]], a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Aspergers to be significant of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lives in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughing stock in the process.

Chris also seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Pokéball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

===Fictional Characters and Media===
As explained above, Chris believes that fictional characters (including his own) exist on some other plane of reality. During a 2004 confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], [[Chris and psychology|Chris began to converse with thin air, pretending that Sonichu was in the office with him]].<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5|Jackie Chat #5]]</ref><ref name="Jackie e 16">[[Jackie_E-mails_16]]</ref> At one point, Chris began to pretend that he ''was'' Sonichu and started giving a speech that he claimed "Sonichu" wanted to give to Mary. He concluded the lecture with a [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], as of course he believes he has magic powers. These things explain why Mary ordered him to see a psychiatrist. Chris, usually before crashing into slumber, also pretends to converse with Sonichu and Rosechu, at one point claiming that the pair offered him relationship advice.<ref name="Jackie e 16" /> He has also been known to converse with [[Megagi La Skunk]].<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Megagi La Skunk agrees that you should have never been born]]</ref>

Chris is also prone to interpreting various forms of media in his own strange way. During his attempt to put up his own ads on the CWCipedia, he claimed that the award-winning film ''[[Wikipedia:Avatar (film)|Avatar]]'' was meant to promote the eradication of [[homos]]exuality, rather than the tolerance of other cultures.<ref>When Chris edited [[Mailbag 23]], he [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_23&oldid=5987 inserted into the article an ad for ''Avatar''] and wrote a caption under it saying the movie promotes heterosexuality. This ad was later on removed by the sysop.</ref> How he contrived this idea is a complete mystery; not only does homosexuality not feature in the film in any way, but the message of the film is it's wrong to exterminate anything. His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire of the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of [[Ruckersville, VA|rednecks]] who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. Chris, however, took everything at face value and interpreted the episode as a scare film on par with ''[[Wikipedia:Red Dawn|Red Dawn]]''. In a similar vein, Chris is convinced that ''[[Family Guy]]'' is anti-gay Republican propaganda, owing to his failure to interpret that the show is [[parody]]ing Republicans, even if poorly in more recent episodes, and that the show's creator [[Seth MacFarlane]] is famously a supporter of gay rights.

As shown above, Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by media, generally wildly misinterpreting them and then citing them as justification for his ridiculous and bigoted behavior. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be [[Liquid Chris]] in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "wrong, but for the right reasons."<ref>[[I Love You Kacey]]</ref> This comes from another episode of ''South Park'' called "[[Wikipedia:Best Friends Forever|Best Friends Forever]]", where, after a satire of the [[Wikipedia:Terri Schiavo|Terri Schiavo]] controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "right, but for the wrong reasons." In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his [[PSP]]. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

==Chris and magic==
{{See also|Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|l1=Chris the Shaman}}

[[Image:ChrisFacebookCommentOnPsychicPowers.png|thumb|right|Chris believes he has psychic powers that can inflict harm on his enemies.]]
Through Chris's perception of [[God]] as an instrument of his will comes the delusion that he has magical powers that will permit him to eventually succeed over the enemies that he is unable to dispatch by any more conventional means.

The most notorious example is the curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a power that supposedly bestows terrible fortune upon the recipient. Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the Internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse ([[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]]) on at least three occasions <ref>[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]]</ref><ref>[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]</ref><ref>[[I am Alive]]</ref> with a "Forgiveness Blessing'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris also believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his preferred personal relic du jour - either the [[medallion]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]]. How these items came to be imbued with magical properties has not been addressed.

Chris also appears to believe that he can, to an extent, [[Sarah May Skype Logs|talk to the deceased]]. He told [[Sarah May]] that when he touched his dead [[Aunt Corrina]]'s hand, he could hear her spirit, along with the spirits of his grandparents and great-grandparents. He also claimed that [[GodJesus]] told him to "make the trip and go to Julie." It's unclear at this point whether these visions are the result of his mental problems or just an excuse for him to do what he wants to do by justifying his actions as the result of supernatural phenomena. He may have gotten the notion of hearing supernatural voices from psychics (in real life or more likely in the media), who claim to converse with the spirits of the dead. During his time masquerading as [[JenkinsJinkies]] on [[Trollin Train]], Chris hoped to dissuade trolls by claiming that his house was haunted, describing [[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_the_Equipment_and_the_Digging_.28Thu_26_Aug_2010_5:12_AM.29|an alleged encounter]] with the vengeful ghosts of Patti and [[Christopher's name change|his younger self]]. Chris apparently believed that trolls would heed this threat.

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied they were evidenced by Mary Lee Walsh's reputation going "DOWN":
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at PVCC went DOWN (yes, mostly due to my references in the pages), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a [[Wikipedia:Common Cold|life-threatening ailment.]]|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]]. This gives Chris a belief of some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an immature defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy theories==
Among the many issues faced by Chris in his perception of reality, his tendency towards conspiracy theorism is the one that has caused him the most trouble. Chris views the fact of his own life through the lens of his huge, cloying ego, and as such believes that anyone who prevents him from getting what he wants is only interested in being mean to him for its own sake, something to which neither he nor his parents take kindly.

As stated, Chris believes that he was intentionally infected with autism by his doctor. Anyone who hinders Chris's [[Love Quest]] is part of an effort to "[[Virginia is for Virgins|make true love illegal]]," either in Virginia or nationwide.<ref>[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> This choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right.

When no culprit responsible for his unhappiness is visible, Chris prefers to accuse unseen hands of plotting against him. Chris blamed his inability to find guests to a sporting event on efforts by the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; including conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with [[Michael Snyder]] to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref>

Chris's tendencies towards these sorts of thoughts may spiral back to two people: [[Bob Chandler|Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. A phone call between his parents and [[Matthew Noble call|a GAMe PLACe employee]] revealed a number of things; most importantly, it illustrated that they believe Chris's entire trolling began as a conspiracy between [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], and a number of potential homosexuals to "terrorize", "torment", and "persecute" Chris for being autistic, going so far as to believe they broke into Chris's credit card account and tried to [[Chris and money|ruin his credit]]. Considering how readily and fervently these beliefs were held by his parents, it is sadly little wonder that Chris thinks the same way.

When Chris was active on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, he revealed that he shares his parents' insane beliefs about the GAMe PLACe's position in troll hierarchy. Most notably, he claimed that Michael Snyder was hiding a criminal scandal because the owner of the Place (as well as three other associated hobby stores) is a convicted sex offender. He also tried to argue that the store itself is in violation of the law, simply because it is close to a public school and owned by a sex offender who is never actually there. Ironically enough, acting like a sex offender is one of the many things that got Chris banned from the store in the first place. Chris would eventually accuse Michael Snyder himself of being a child molester, going as far as to accuse him of molesting his own daughter. In case you've forgotten, Snyder once chased Chris down after he (unintentionally) took candid photographs of the same daughter Chris accused him of molesting.

The most telling evidence of Chris's belief that anyone who doesn't agree with him is a 'damn dirty troll' is the case of his [[white knights]]. Despite their attempts to offer constructive critique on his [[Chris and art|art]], warn Chris of [[Julie|potential trolling attempts]] and even plead with him to seek help, they have all fallen on deaf ears. There have even been cases where [[Clyde Cash|trolls]] [[Father Call|themselves]] [[Alec Benson Leary|would]] respectfully point out what Chris is doing wrong in life. However, as is the rule with Chris, these people were not telling him what he wanted to hear and were therefore ignored.

==Descent into madness==
As time has gone on, it has become evident from his Facebook posting habits that Chris's already-tenuous grasp of reality has continued to slacken further and further - getting to the point that it has alienated even his closest supporters.

Particularly troubling are his October 2013 rants on [[Facebook]] about how [[Megan]]'s fictitious character Megagi La Skunk has talked to him and told him that she (Megan, but by extension Megagi) should never have been born. Chris claimed that Megan is at the core of a massive conspiracy with [[The GAMe PLACe]] to ruin his life, and has cursed her and [[Women's rights|stripped her]] of her [[Sailor Megtune]] powers. He demands that she apologize to him and effectively fix his entire life if she wishes to be uncursed, closing by stating that he and his father's ghost will get revenge if she does not comply.

There are many things deeply concerning about this tirade, but the most troubling is that Chris did it with literally no impetus whatsoever from any of the [[trolls]], nor any reason to suspect Megan would behave this way. This paranoid, insane notion was contrived entirely by Chris - likely with some parental input - and can only be described as complete lunacy.

In the autumn of [[2014]], Chris received a [[Un-clit|piercing to his perineum]] in an effort to make it resemble a [[china]]. Despite becoming infected in [[December 2014]], he simply had it pierced again. While an unfazed Chris was persuaded to have this piercing removed too, he remained deeply interested in becoming a woman by unorthodox means, much to the worry of onlookers. Eventually, he removed the piercing. How Chris's next attempt at womanhood will manifest itself is anybody's guess, but in the wake of the un-clit, one can only fear [[Cakefarts|the worst]].

Chris currently has an open bleeding wound on his groin, which he, using his magical thinking skills yet again, believes to be a pair of female genitals growing thanks to all the hypnosis videos he's watched en masse in recent months. It has to be pointed out here that even though the wound poses a serious, even fatal risk to Chris's health, he's too far past the level of insanity already required to believe cartoon characters are real to ever realise this.

The [[Sonic Boom Protests]] once again revealed Chris's delusions about his power and influence in the world and showed he was willing to [[26 December 2014|physically assault somebody]] to defend the honor of a fictitious character whose arms were recoloured. As of late 2015, Chris seems to have simmered down and appears to have a more positive tone in his videos, but is slowly and surely returning to the traits that once made him an internet sensation.

==Sources==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Template:Da update

2016-07-24T17:37:27Z

JackHaywood:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
*24 July: Chris gets an open, bleeding wound on his groin and [[Chris and reality|thinks the hypnosis videos worked and he's growing female genitals]].
*13 July: in a new low, Chris ropes [[Barb]] into performing a [[Donations Further Requested, Please|begging video]].
*10 July: [[HELP, PLEASE!!!]] - Chris appears sick and begs for even more money
*9 July: [[Announcement 20160709]] - Chris complains about taking care of Barb and his pets
*8 July: [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4]]
*1 [[July 2016|July]]: Chris, in a rare display of financial responsibility, pays his [[26 December 2014|court costs]] of $541 early.
*29 [[June 2016|June]]: Chris Uploads two update [[Announcement 06292016|videos]] begging for [[Chris and money|money]] as well as the third chapter to his pitiful [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness]] series.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Chris and sex

2016-03-18T22:41:23Z

JackHaywood: grammar correction

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex and gender==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===[[Chris and gender|Gender in general]]===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or [[Chris and psychology|any]] [[Chris and anger|other]] [[Chris and health|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|his]] [[Chris and reality|issues]] for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris is actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==Sexting==
[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2016-03-18T22:39:52Z

JackHaywood:

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex and gender==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===[[Chris and gender|Gender in general]]===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or [[Chris and psychology|any]] [[Chris and anger|other]] [[Chris and health|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|his]] [[Chris and reality|issues]] for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris is actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==Sexting==
[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2016-03-18T22:37:58Z

JackHaywood:

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, disjointed worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex and gender==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===[[Chris and gender|Gender in general]]===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or [[Chris and psychology|any]] [[Chris and anger|other]] [[Chris and health|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|his]] [[Chris and reality|issues]] for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==Sexting==
[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2016-03-18T22:36:43Z

JackHaywood: redundant much redundant?

{{Honest}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''') as well as '''gender''', mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, a sheltered upbringing, and the twisted, rigid worldview he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex and gender==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===[[Chris and gender|Gender in general]]===
Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]], Chris's actual beliefs on gender are more complex than his stated beliefs. Over his life, he has developed a burning hatred of males [[JERKS#The list of males Chris doesn't hate|in general]], not unlike [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Aeverine_Nieves another autistic on] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] noted for his/her similarities to Chris. This likely spirals back to his bullying by other boys at school, not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. Inversely, whenever trolls invented a [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] for him, Chris would make [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|childish YouTube videos]] [[SHE IS MINE NOW|wherein he would gloat]] to their supposed exes. Chris's infantile, jealousy-driven hatred of his own gender has even led him to label [[JERKS|all men]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|"barbarian[s]"]]. This bizarre view may also have contributed to his [[Tomgirl|decision to cross-dress]].

Inversely, Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence of women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the section, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has always preferred female friends, and is known to be far more accommodating of lesbians than gay men, even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. By all accounts, Chris seems to place all women into one of two categories - organic [[Officer Nasty|sex]] [[Kimmi|toys]] who exist to submit to his every desire, or [[Barb|mother]] [[Gal-pals|figures]] who exist to dote on him, keep his child-like, responsibility-free lifestyle sustainable, and nurse his wounded [[ego]] whenever the need arises.

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris' abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical straight and non-straight behavior, too, insisting he is straight even as he acts like a stereotypical mincing, [[Tomgirl|crossdressing]] transsexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks "gay" is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

As of 2015, Chris has stated his preference for female pronouns, going so far as to dub himself "Christine Weston Chandler" on his Facebook. As of 11 February, 2015, Chris has started signing the medallions he sells on eBay with this name. From this it can be inferred that he was using the tomgirl label as a stepping stone into full blown transsexualism. Whether or not Chris is legitimately transsexual remains to be seen. As it is unlikely he will ever willingly see a therapist regarding his gender issues (or [[Chris and psychology|any]] [[Chris and anger|other]] [[Chris and health|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|his]] [[Chris and reality|issues]] for that matter), we may never have a definitive answer.

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature, or a combination thereof.

==Staying straight==
{{see also|Homos#Fear of being a homo|l1=Fear of being a homo}}

==Is Chris asexual?==
Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hug machine|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.

As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing is still certain, however, is that he still fervently desires the attention of a sweetheart.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" />

However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to to get some [[China]], he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared [[homosexuality]].

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris' leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that the girl was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]].

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship.<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible, <ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true. <ref> [[http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]]</ref>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris is very apathetic about the idea of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to move in with her rapist, whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. More recently, he has taken to comparing his ordeals with the trolls to rape in his Facebook posts.

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, during a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

One might assume that he will one day try to rape someone due to this mindset and stalker tendencies, but this scenario is highly unlikely. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent....or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]].

He also doesn't have a history of violence (indeed, quite, quite the opposite), and aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person - the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), potential sweethearts should still exercise some caution around him.

==Sexting==
[http://www.4shared.com/photo/ofavvePXce/Chris_Chan_Sexting.html Sexting Coversation]

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}

PlayStation 4

2016-03-18T22:30:22Z

JackHaywood:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]], He ''did'' show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - lol jk give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended, further showing how talented he thinks he is. Further showing how insincere his apology was is the ending, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour===
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." At least this is what Chris claims happened. Closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==PS4 games Chris owns==
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|9
|42%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|-
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|8
|10%
|
|}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

PlayStation 4

2016-03-18T22:29:44Z

JackHaywood:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Taxpayermoney}}

The '''PlayStation 4''' is a [[video game]] console created by [[Sony]], originally released in North America on [[November 2013|November 15th, 2013]]. It is generally considered one of the frontrunners of [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (eighth generation)|the eighth generation of gaming]], alongside the [[HEXbox|HEXbox One]] (with the [[Nintendo|Wii U]] trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by [[January 2016]].

Despite his fanaticism for [[PlayStation 3|the system's predecessor]] (and his [[Chris and money|tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it]]), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his [[Chris and health|family's health problems]] (compounded by his [[28 October 2011|run-in with the law]]) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him [[May 2014 Facebook Posts|repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets]], He ''did'' show contempt for its competition - [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee]] - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in ''[[South Park]]'', among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in [[February 2016]], around [[Chris's birthday|his 34th birthday]].

==The birthday saga==
===The outset===
On the first of the month, Chris [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY|asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook]] (alongside a frankly ridiculous statute of limitations - notably, he [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#Not Dizzy Enough To Beg For PS4!|would later specify]] a white ''Destiny'' bundle). Whoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be reimbursed with a $500 voucher for his [[Etsy]] shop - believing that his comics, [[medallions]], and [[Sonichu Amiibo|amiibo]] are worth ''any'' money (let alone hundreds of dollars). In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Making this even more ridiculous is that he would [[February 2016 Facebook Posts#A Beg Big Note|further clarify]] that buying him ''anything less'' than the ''Destiny'' bundle and camera would reduce the voucher, showing an unbelievable amount of entitlement in the process.

==="Sorry for being entitled - lol jk give me free shit"===
The twelfth would see Chris upload [[Apologies for offending people|a video]] that opens with him apologizing for setting these demands - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended, further showing how talented he thinks he is. Further showing how insincere his apology was is the ending, where Chris ''reiterates his demands'' once again.

===Things go sour===
Predictably, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, [[weens]] sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload [[Update: 2/25/16|another video]] complaining about this. In a move somehow both unexpected and unsurprisingly, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

==Chris finally gets one==
[[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.]]

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on [[March 2016|March 5th, 2016]] that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was commonly thought that he had finally given up and purchased it himself, until he revealed on Facebook that someone actually did take him up on the offer - a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington." At least this is what Chris claims happened. Closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore who have appeared in [[Sex toys|porn films]] together.

==PS4 games Chris owns==
'''Note:''' As of present, this table only covers games that Chris has earned at least one trophy in (there are several more which he has evidently not even touched; the full list can be seen [http://psnprofiles.com/Sonichu here]).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
!align="left"|Game
!align="left"|Trophies
!align="left"|Progress
!align="left"|Comments
|-
|''[[Wikipedia:The Playroom|THE PLAYROOM]]''
|2
|6%
|A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man [[Chris and sex|stripped and groped his drunk wife]] live.
|-
|''[[Transformers]] Devastation''
|1
|1%
|
|-
|''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] Legacy of the Duelist''
|9
|42%
|
|-
|''[[Little Big Planet]] 3''
|7
|14%
|
|''[[LEGO]] DIMENSIONS''
|8
|10%
|
|}

[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

User talk:Clyde Cash

2016-03-09T18:47:28Z

JackHaywood: Created page with "Fucking ween. ~~~~"

Fucking ween. [[User:JackHaywood|JackHaywood]] ([[User talk:JackHaywood|talk]]) 18:47, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

March 2016

2016-03-05T22:16:49Z

JackHaywood:

{{Ongoing}}
'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2016]]'''. [[Image:20160305081202.jpg|thumb|♪ Chris is back, all right! ♫]]

==Events of March 2016==
* 5 March - It is revealed that Chris DID manage to get a PS4 after all. It's most likely he just bought it himself.
* 17 March - [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|St. Patrick's Day]].

{{Timeline}}

File:20160305081202.jpg

2016-03-05T22:13:22Z

JackHaywood: Evidence of Chris's activity on the PS4.

Evidence of Chris's activity on the PS4.

March 2016

2016-03-05T22:11:38Z

JackHaywood:

{{Ongoing}}
'''March''' is the third month of '''[[2016]]'''.

==Events of March 2016==
* 5 March - It is revealed that Chris DID manage to get a PS4 after all. It's most likely he just bought it himself.
* 17 March - [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|St. Patrick's Day]].

{{Timeline}}

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2016-03-05T22:09:31Z

JackHaywood: /* Sonichu #11 */

{{Incomplete}}

A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how mildly they were originally antagonised. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights violations and poor resource allocation that, unsurprisingly, fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to have immunity from the law.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]], a protagonist, is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee" and "Want a girlfriend? Tough lightning!"
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Sonic, a seasoned superhero, not only lets the much more inexperienced Sonichu go in ahead of him but does so even after suspecting that they're walking into a trap. Letting Sonichu take point and even springing the aforementioned trap without so much as a warning was pretty weaselly on Sonic's part.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* Punchy unambiguously murders [[Mypoe]].
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for his own reasons. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know these reasons]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a powerless [[Flame the Sunbird|parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Speaking of [[Flame the Sunbird]], he's only able to fly for about 20 miles (the distance between the shores to where Bubbles is) before being winded. For a bird, especially one that's a self-styled guardian, this is a pathetic level of physical fitness.
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain. Besides, Black Sonichu didn't even mean to aggravate them.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown. Chris evidently believes women care more about matching their outfits than about protecting the people they love. Also, why couldn't she just get a gown that didn't clash?
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad Chris lost interest in the franchise after this issue so they'll never be seen or even mentioned again.
===Episode #13: ''Smashed Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time. Allison performs almost literally all of Chris's mayoral duties, which is [[Chris and the Law|highly illegal]] because she doesn't have the relevant authority.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the highly progressive assumption that [[Third date|women always put out after the third date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him. Magi-Chan should have been able to sense it telepathically or whatever.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets long enough to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't even be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are "dumb".

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault, but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names, which doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who [[Simonla Rosechu|DigDugette416]] could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast, Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.
* Ms. Jackaras just abruptly dies halfway through the narrative and nobody even reacts except her sister, who replaces her instantly for some reason. Her sister mourns for precisely one panel.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an unprompted uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] doesn't even bother to let the media know, let alone try to get assistance. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show basically no concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their city]].

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of sheer evil the "protagonists" exhibit in this issue clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|authoritarian genocide]], this issue has it all.
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating a genocide against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris '''rapes''' his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that nothing escapes as he does so.
* Chris (By now, you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum security prison with no trial.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and his entourage, including a one-week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in violent and inhumane ways. Remember, this is a comic Chris claims is aimed at children.
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

===''A Sonichu Christmas''===

-WIP-

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly suppressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

Template:Da update

2016-03-05T22:06:47Z

JackHaywood:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 5 [[March 2016|March]] - It is revealed that Chris DID manage to get a PS4 after all. It's most likely he just bought it himself.
* 28 [[February 2016|February]] - Chris uploads [[Jeff is Beyond Denounced.|a video]] in which he expresses his displeasure of Jeff/Francine Ouzuo's mocking Chris-themed clothing catalog, and [[Happy Pokémon Day.|another]] where he celebrates "Pokémon Day" by talking mostly about [[Sonichu_(character)|Sonichu]].
* 26 February - A video is leaked of Chris showing off his frozen [[semen]] samples, in which he thinks he has successfully cryogenically preserved his sperm by storing them in Tupperware containers in his family's kitchen freezer.
* 25 February - Chris uploads [[Update: 2/25/16|a video]] complaining about not getting what he wanted for his birthday.
* 24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 34]].
* 16 February - Chris releases two videos. [[Welcome to the LGBTQ Group, Julia|One of which]] was for a transwoman named [[Julie|Julia]], "welcoming her to the group". [[Update 02/16/2016|The other]] is about some updates for his [[Etsy]], and a livestream announcement of [[LittleBigPlanet|LittleBigPlanet 3]], including a commentary of his [[Autism Tutorial]], ''if'' someone gives him a PlayStation 4.
* 12 February - Chris releases a [[Apologies for offending people|video]] in which he attempts to apologise for hurting people's feelings over [[Asperger's Syndrome]] and the male gender, and defends his e-begging and obsession with video games.

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

List of unheroic protagonist actions

2016-02-29T22:52:38Z

JackHaywood:

{{Incomplete}}

A recurring tragicomic element of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] is how Chris [[Chris and writing|'''tries''' to characterize]] the protagonists of his comic as [[Rollin' and Trollin'|badass]], [[Honor roll|insightful]], and [[Holding out for a hero|heroic]] yet instead unfailingly depicts his heroes as [[media:SchuComic9P37.jpg|immature]], [[media:SchuComic3Page04.jpg|maladroit]], and at times nigh on [[media:SchuComic10P35.jpg|morally bankrupt]]. Over time, the characters have engaged in enough unintentional buffoonery and villainy to easily fill an entire '''list of unheroic protagonist actions'''. While any protagonist [[Collosal Chan|worth reading about]] will have some flaws, from [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]]'s temper to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s hyperactivity, the number of vices the Sonichu characters possess are too numerable to shrug them off as portrayals of [[Liquid Chris|flawed but ultimately heroic]] characters, but rather show them as [[Ian Brandon Anderson|obliviously yet undeniably evil]].

==Recurring Shenanigans==
[[Image:Megatron_pistol2.jpg|thumb|This is neither [[Jerkhief|the first]] nor the [[Mary Lee Walsh|last time]] Chris further abuses [[Sonichu Special 4|a defeated opponent.]]]]
* The [[Pokémon]] in this series often are at least as intelligent as human beings, yet various humans tote and order them around as personal servants. This was a problem with the original series as well, but Chris doesn't even attempt to address this issue in his comic. This creates stupidity like the comic finding nothing wrong with Trainer [[Kel]] pimping out her Dragonite to slake Rosechu's lust while simultaneously finding it unremarkable that [[Dating education|human children can date Pokémon]].
* The protagonists are completely submissive to their raging libidos. The characters are extremely quick to hop in the sack with whoever strikes their fancy, often having known their partners for mere days or even ''hours'' beforehand. Aside from showing a lack of self-control, this propensity for romantic and sexual release has directly led the protagonists into danger. The protagonists also tend to become uncontrollably aroused at the drop of a hat, even in the middle of an invasion of their precious city or confronting their adversaries. Needless to say, it's all very telling of the author's own [[Chris and sex|unhinged views on sex and relationships]].
* The characters are overly vindictive when they have any sort of advantage over their foes. [[Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby|Mutilation]], [[Jason Kendrick Howell|violent sexual domination]], and of course [[4-cent_garbage.com|mass]] [[Sonichu 9|murder]] are always on the table no matter how mildly they were originally antagonised. This is in marked contrast to the basic morality of any [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|non-ironic]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog|hero]], where instigating or escalating a fight or seeking any revenge past what's necessary to stop a villain from committing crimes is a huge no-no.
* The heroes show absolutely no aptitude for any fighting strategy that's not 'run up to the bad guy and use superpowers until they stop'. They're unable to anticipate [[Silvana|special techniques]] or [[Dark Mirror Hole|strategies]] from their foes, have trouble doing basic coordination of attacks (unless it's to gang up on Black Sonichu), and can't perform any combat feats not constrained in the paradigm of plot-device items or the narrow application of Pokemon moves.
* [[CWCVille]]'s "government" is a nightmarish monstrosity of human rights violations and poor resource allocation that, unsurprisingly, fails to provide basic safety for its citizens. By far the most popular stock parody of Chris's work is to depict the city as a Kafkaesque dystopia that only exists to fulfill the puerile whims of its dictator-for-life mayor. What's more, this only requires a ''slight'' exaggeration of CWCVille's unsavory traits. None of the heroes, of course, have a problem with how CWCville is run, and in fact are shown to have immunity from the law.
* Fight scenes involving the main characters often have them beating up [[jerkop|jerkops]], innocent people with mental handicaps who've been brainwashed into becoming [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s evil minions. It's not until ''Sonichu #9'' that anybody even tries to cure them of their brainwashing. Even then, it's explicitly mentioned that the "heroes" have killed several jerkops, who they know full well are victims rather than villains.

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Episode #1: Sonichu's Origin===
* Sonic just sort of disappears after crashing into Pikachu, and takes the credit for Sonichu's fight against the Perfect Chaos Monster. Sonichu isn't bothered by this and even names himself after the guy who ran him over and immediately abdicated an important battle.
===Episode #2: Sonichu in 'Genesis of the Lovehogs'===
* Sonichu stalks Rosechu to her home and spies on her through the window rather than introducing himself to her like a normal person.
* Kel straight-up pimps out her Pokémon to each other. To be fair, this happens in the video games, but it's rather jarring to see outside of a game mechanics context.
===Episode #3: Sonichu vs. Naitsirhc===
* [[Giovanni]]'s son [[Naitsirhc]] is shown to have ''at least'' two Legendary Pokémon and sports even more in the team Chris describes him having. Combined with how no trainers from the video games or the anime appear in the series, this places ''Sonichu'' in a grimdark world where Team Rocket was victorious over Ash and friends, whose bodies are presumably decaying in shallow graves somewhere outside Saffron City.

===Classic Sonichu Strips===
* [[Vamprosa|Rosechu]], a protagonist, is shown as a vampire, an undead monster that sustains its existence by draining the blood of others.
* When the comic was originally written, no reason was given in the fiction for Chris and Sonichu to attack [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. She is not depicted as doing anything more evil than merely ''existing'' and saying "Hee Hee" and "Want a girlfriend? Tough lightning!"
* No reason is given as to why Chris and Sonichu only get one shot at defeating Mary Lee Walsh. If they had missed, would they simply have left Mary to do whatever presumably evil thing she was doing?
* Rosechu does nothing but look on and say "Oh no!" while Chris is being beaten by Mary Lee Walsh's mecha-Jerkops, despite supposedly having equal power to Sonichu.

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Episode #4: Black Sonichu in ''Darkness, Speed, & Lightning!''===
* Did Giovanni snip off Black Sonichu's balls like a naughty poodle after he mildly sassed his son? Chris-chan sets up a potentially interesting plot twist -- a clone pretends fealty to their evil creators only to bide his time and betray them -- but then takes his sweet time resolving this subplot while Blachu sublimates his role as the villains' bitch. If Black Sonichu realized that he was forcefed a pack of bullshit and propaganda, why did he cheerfully go along with his handlers for so long before joining the forces of "good"?

===Episode #5: Sonichu in ''Informal Meeting''===
* A map of the area on page twelve shows that Sonic lives fairly close to Giovanni's undisguised headquarters. Why Sonic remained oblivious of and/or ignored the existence of Pokémon's biggest villain for so long is an exercise left to the reader.

===Episode #6: Sonic and Sonichu in ''Black Metal Combat''===
* This issue is the first to show Chris's curious habit of having a character with explicitly better superpowers than their opponent or ally being totally outclassed, i.e. Sonichu's dismal performance versus Sonic the Hedgehog's unstoppable rampage, Bionic contemptuously dispatching Reldnahc, Wes-Li effortlessly beating up Chris-chan, etc. While this is a common theme in fiction to show that cunning, strategy, and determination is more important than brute force, this dissonance seems to happen in Sonichu simply for the sake of making the antagonists look a bit less impotent than they really are. Due to Chris's predictable and boring style of writing, the villains are almost invariably defeated permanently and subsequently cast aside when they and the protagonists next meet.
* Sonic, a seasoned superhero, not only lets the much more inexperienced Sonichu go in ahead of him but does so even after suspecting that they're walking into a trap. Letting Sonichu take point and even springing the aforementioned trap without so much as a warning was pretty weaselly on Sonic's part.
* After a long and arduous battle complete with SONIC SPEED and ZAPPING TO THE EXTREME, Sonichu, Sonic, and Rosechu finally have two globally infamous criminals cornered. And... the comic just forgets about them in lieu of a shopping spree at the [[CWCville Shopping Center]].

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==
===Episode #7: Sonichu in ''Anchuent Prophecy''===
* Wes and Sarah get personal training in how to use their hedgehog powers from the spirits of ''their'' ancestors; Chris isn't so lucky. The [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] is more than happy to leave Chris to fend for himself. To his credit, Sonichu does at least help Chris get elementary training. Nonetheless, the clan leader's selective neglect of his disciple leaves Chris unaware of at [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|least]] two [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 8: Christian Chandler in "Off-Target Part 2"|superpowers]] that would've made things a lot easier on Chris. Not that he needs ''more'' deus ex machinas in his corner, but still.

===Episode #8: Christian Chandler in ''Chaos & Serenity''===
* Sonichu disappears for a large portion of the battle between Wes and Chris-Chan for no good reason. Considering that Wes was trying to kill Sonichu's "father", his help would've been much appreciated.
* After Wes goes on for some time about why he's behaving evilly, Chris goes on a [[ego|self-aggrandizing]] rant and tries to paint himself as an innocent victim in the love triangle, rather than trying to negotiate with Wes or calm him down. Chris clearly is more concerned about his own [[ego]] than getting his and Wes's shit together to fulfill the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].
* Sarah, despite being told that her role in the upcoming events was to be a peacemaker between the other two humans-turned-hedgehog, decides not to intervene until her partners almost kill each other.
* Chris gets his ass kicked in less than a page by Wes in spite of having more and better superpowers than his rival.

===Episode #9: Chris-Chan, Saramah, & Wes-Li in ''The Evil that Stomped CWCville''===
* Sarah very stupidly decides to dump Wes Iseli right before the prophesied evil takes place, causing Wes's [[heart level]] to collapse right before the fated battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]]. To be fair, you could argue that it wouldn't be right to romantically string someone along just to cajole them into doing the right thing... except that she had no problem inflicting this sneaky tactic on ''Chris'' at the end of the issue.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===Episode #10: ''Sonichu Babies''===
* Punchy unambiguously murders [[Mypoe]].
* That said, as much as we wish agony and woe on those obnoxious [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonees and Roseys]], Punchy's violent reaction to Mypoe ''mutilating him shortly after his birth'' is completely understandable. The real question is this: what kind of dojo is Shinabe running here?
* Unless he has one hell of an explanation for his actions, Mewtwo stole Magi-chan's childhood and sculpted him into the borderline-[[autism|autistic]] he is today for his own reasons. [[Chris and writing|Not that we'll]] [[Sonichu 11|ever know these reasons]].

===Episode #11: The Chaotic Combo in ''When Hedgehogs Meet''===
* Why is something as powerful and calamitous as the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]] just sitting out in the open, guarded solely by a powerless [[Flame the Sunbird|parrot]]? At the very least it should be placed somewhere hidden. Then again, the Sunstone ceases to become an issue after this comic so maybe the mayor did something smart for once and squirreled it [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|someplace more secure]].
* Speaking of [[Flame the Sunbird]], he's only able to fly for about 20 miles (the distance between the shores to where Bubbles is) before being winded. For a bird, especially one that's a self-styled guardian, this is a pathetic level of physical fitness.
* Every single member of the Chaotic Combo pile on Black Sonichu at the end and just beat him to a bloody pulp. While he overpowered them one on one, Black Sonichu getting dogpiled by half a dozen mutants and left bleeding and disfigured doesn't exactly suggest an even fight between a team of heroes and a powerful villain. Besides, Black Sonichu didn't even mean to aggravate them.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
* Chris refuses to leave every time he's called out for soliciting sex.
* Chris [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] a [[Jerkief|man]], making him lose his wife, kids, and home, all because he was told not to stand around like a [[Creepy stare|creep]].
* Chris throws a [[Chris and anger|temper tantrum]] because a [[Hanna|girl]] played a prank on him.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman's]] home (not the [[Sonichu 0|first time]] nor the [[Sonichu 10|last]]) completely unprovoked and beats the shit out of her.
* Chris's self-insert fails, forcing Chris's other [[Sonichu (character)|self-insert]] to help his sorry ass.
* Chris and his [[Sonichu (character)|bastard son]] brutally murder a defenseless old woman in cold blood.
* Chris and [[Darkbind Sonichu|another one of his recolors]] injure [[B-Manajerk|two]] [[Merried Seinor Comic|people]] for asking him to leave the store.
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|emotionless fuck-buddy]] decapitate [[W-M-Manajerk|someone]] for telling him to leave.
* Chris makes fun of [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally handicapped people]].
* Chris and his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|personified sexual insecurity]] beat the shit out of [[Bagget|some]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|more]] [[Count Graduon|people]] for (and you're not going to guess this) telling him to leave a [[Get-Tar Region|store]].

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===Episode #12: Christian Chandler in ''My Best Friend's Cherokian Wedding''===
* Chris is invisibly spying on the wedding. Meaning that he wasn't invited and decided to just [[The GAMe PLACe|show up anyway]] or that he was but just [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|likes creeping around for no reason]].
* What exactly was stopping Chris from deploying another Trap Card or at least warning the crowd when he realized that his reasoning wasn't getting through? Someone might have gotten killed.
* With all of the craziness that happens in CWCVille, Sarah Spicer was careless to not have her lightning bracelets at arms length whether or not they clashed with her wedding gown. Chris evidently believes women care more about matching their outfits than about protecting the people they love. Also, why couldn't she just get a gown that didn't clash?
* Boy, those [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] cards sure came in handy this chapter and previously in episode #8. All of those versatile, powerful, yet easily-deployable effects should make protecting CWCVille and saving innocents a breeze! Too bad Chris lost interest in the franchise after this issue so they'll never be seen or even mentioned again.
===Episode #13: ''Smashed Hearts & Entrapment''===

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==
===Episode #12.5: ''One Lucky Dog''===
* Chris resurrects his pet dog. In-story she merely turned from a dog into a magical talking dog, but Chris doesn't hide what he's really doing. Regardless of how many people die in the comic's pages--from innocent bystanders, to victims of circumstance, to real-life gal pals--CWC has only extended this mercy [[Simonla Rosechu|once more.]]
* With the introduction of [[Allison Amber]], it becomes obvious that even in his fantasy world, Chris is too lazy to do any of his mayoral duties that won't help him look cool or punish his enemies. What's more, an unelected city employee way down the chain of command has been promoted to Vice Mayor, although we were led to believe [[Women's rights|she was just an overpowered secretary]] for a long time. Allison performs almost literally all of Chris's mayoral duties, which is [[Chris and the Law|highly illegal]] because she doesn't have the relevant authority.

===Episode #14: ''Evil is Afoot!''===
* Allowing his [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|defeated enemy]] mercy and attentive medical treatment is probably the most uncharacteristically nice thing Chris does in this comic. Unfortunately, the magnanimity of this gesture is ruined by the fact that there's absolutely no security in Reldnahc's room during his convalescence, leaving Chris's arch-nemesis free to just ''walk out of the hospital''.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==
===Episode #15: Sonichu, Magi-Chan, and Christian in ''Time for a Ball''===
* [[Bionic]] (Chris's first bastard child) makes the highly progressive assumption that [[Third date|women always put out after the third date]].
* Chris and Magi-Chan introduce a convenient [[Chris and writing|plot device]] to help them solve their seemingly nonexistent problems. The question here is that if they knew about them this whole time, why wait until now to 'search' for them? Chris could have easily used them in the past to stop [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|villains]] in the past, yet decided to postpone it to the point where it would cost [[Ivy|countless]] [[Pandahalo|lives]].

===Episode #16: C.W.C. and Sonichu in ''Time Hogs''===
* Sonichu and Magi-Chan are too busy discussing [[Hanky panky|sex]] to realize that Chris has been flung out of the time sphere, giving no thought to helping him. Magi-Chan should have been able to sense it telepathically or whatever.

===''Tune in Everyday to Station KCWC for Everything!''===

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|What does your existentialist philosophy say about FURRY FACE RAPE, Jason?]]
===Episode #17: ''Rage against the Garbage''===
* Rosechu is so ignorant about how the Internet and [[troll]]ing works that she thinks that taking nudes of herself is going to overwhelm the flow of [[Rosechu#Intersex|shemale]] pictures. Amusingly, this is one of the few instances where a protagonist is immediately broken of their delusions.
* Sonichu, Wild, and Rosechu plot burglary without even ''trying'' to negotiate for the Sonichu Balls. As far as we know, Jason is the rightful owner and Sonichu's crew are a bunch of thieves.
* Wild's family is harassed by arsonists and his father is kidnapped by poachers but the putative Mayor clearly can't be bothered to stop stuffing his face with chicken nuggets long enough to take care of the problem.
* For that matter, Wild couldn't even be assed to look for his own damn father himself. Even if he was still too weak to mount a solo rescue, at this point in the comic he knows at least ten other characters with powers similar or superior to his own and has no excuse for not resuming his quest. Then again, Wild probably knew that his 'friends' were too self-absorbed to give a shit about anyone else anyway. Hell, Sonichu and Rosechu couldn't be bothered to do anything more than go 'oh, that sucks' at Wild's tearjerker.
* Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild very stupidly schedule the latter's infiltration at the same time as their meeting with the owner of 4-cent garbage. Jason knows that they will be here, so why would they undertake this dangerous and important mission when he's on alert? Then again, Wild doesn't meet any resistance more stringent than a locked safe so it doesn't matter anyway.
* On several floors, Sonichu, Rosechu, and even Chris physically attack people whose only crime is uploading pictures to the Internet.
* Jason Kendrick Howell flat-out admits that he owns an [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|underage sex slave]] that he does illegal things with. Sonichu and Rosechu can't even give the tiniest of shits about this grievous affront to human dignity. They're only concerned about Rosechu being drawn with a penis.
* After Jason taunts Sonichu and Rosechu, both attack him and in the latter's case attempts to rape/kill him. Jason only survives thanks to dark forces keeping him alive.
* The 19th Amendment, securing the right of women to vote, apparently doesn't [[Chris and sexism|apply to CWCVille]]. You know, a city supposedly existing within the borders of the United States.
* Rosechu thinks that laws preventing a 14-year old from being able to [[pedofork|assist in nude protests]] are "dumb".

===Episode #18: ''Spring Break 2008''===
* The protagonists are overly quick to forgive Blake. Granted, being a [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain]] his villainy hasn't exceeded 'kidnap Rosechu and get his teeth knocked out' -- a far cry from the mass murders the heroes cause in Sonichu 10 to be sure. Nonetheless, it's still dumb for the other protagonists to implicitly trust someone who was only a few months ago working for [[Robotnik|two]] of the [[Giovanni|biggest criminals]] on the planet.
* Bubbles is astonishingly stupid and careless when dealing with Silvana-Blake. Despite getting two credible warnings from Magi-Chan and Jiggliami/Blake that she was about to fuck a impostor, she's still not convinced.
* Blake has more of an excuse than Bubbles than his actions, but wasn't he the tiniest bit suspicious that Bubbles aborted her mission in order to have nasty furry jungle sex?

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==
===Episode #19: ''Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)''===
* This is not the heroes' fault, but the [[Dating Education]] class is mind-meltingly idiotic. The coursework is piss-easy what with fifty-word essays, the IM portion being unsupervised, and an enormous douche like Reginald almost getting a perfect score. If the characters had an ounce of self-respect they would have dropped this worthless class by day two and demanded their money back.
* The heroes apparently have trouble discerning the identities of people with extremely obvious screen names, which doesn't speak well of their intelligence. Gee, I wonder who [[Simonla Rosechu|DigDugette416]] could be?
* [[Reginald Sneasel]] is, and let's be frank here, a ''[[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fulminating asshole]]''. Reginald lets down his IM partner and classmate FlorDora217 because of his [[Layla]] obsession, intentionally spreads scurrilous rumors about her, sabotages school equipment, and stalks the two on their date. By contrast, Punchy decides to cooperate with Layla despite also having his eye on someone else, tries to keep an open mind about her, foils Reginald's cunning plan with his counter-gambit of 'have his [[Wild Sonichu|best buddy]] ask Layla directly', and acts like a perfect gentlemen on his date. How sad is it that you come off as more of a jerk than a sex-crazed, [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark|sadomasochistic]] Sonic headswap? This wouldn't be so bad if Reginald was set up to be the typical jealous-yet-hapless suitor potboiler romantic comedies thrive upon, but given his fate in this episode and the rest of [[Sonichu 9]] he's clearly meant to be a ''sympathetic character''.
* Ms. Jackaras just abruptly dies halfway through the narrative and nobody even reacts except her sister, who replaces her instantly for some reason. Her sister mourns for precisely one panel.

===Episode #20: ''CWC-Defense''===
* Sonichu gets a glimpse of his wife's panties while she's doing laundry and turns into a drooling pervert. Very classy of you, sweet-bolt.
* Sonichu goes on an unprompted uncomfortably long homophobic tirade that makes him look violent and unbalanced, complete with breaking the couple's property.
* Why hasn't CWCville elected or at least appointed a new interim mayor yet? It's been several months since Chris was trapped in the time void, there's no reason to think that he'll be back anytime soon or at all. Again, the city is forced to dump way too many important decisions on an over-promoted secretary. This gets discussed further in the next section.
* Prower can transform into a [[media:Prowl_prower.jpg|giant robot]] and was very close-by, yet he failed to help Punchy and Layla when they were surrounded by [[Jerkop]]s. Punchy was able to take care of himself, but Layla was clearly unused to fighting and almost got her head handed to her.
* The CWC-defenders are completely blindsided by the [[PVCC]]'s game plan, sending their [[Chaotic Combo|heavy-hitters]] on wild goose chases all around the city while unaware that the real target of the invasion is the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]; said mall is left defended by illustrious badasses like [[Zapina Rosechu|a skanky tween girl]] and a [[Patti-Chan|half-naked zombie dog]].
* When the combined forces of Sonic recolors and Autobot rejects prove to be inadequate for defending the city, [[Allison Amber]] doesn't even bother to let the media know, let alone try to get assistance. Bionic and Darkbind only realize what's going on as the conflict starts spilling out past the city borders.
* Even if Chris-chan is the one fated to [[Anchuent Prophecy|personally stop Graduon and Walsh]], there's still no reason for Sonichu to just let her fly away and regroup.
* After the battle is over, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon show basically no concern about [[Chris and death|the destruction that has befallen their city]].

==[[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]==
[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Having a little girl torture her [[Evan|grandpa]]? Totally normal behavior from your heroes!]]
===Episode #21: ''Christian Chandler in Director Amenities''===
* The amount of sheer evil the "protagonists" exhibit in this issue clearly shows their transition from [[Blake|bumbling yet harmless goons]] to [[The Incredible Lioness|terrifyingly violent and sadistic psychopaths]]. From [[Lovely Weather#Deception|rape by deception]] to [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|authoritarian genocide]], this issue has it all.
* Chris poisons the planet's water supplies with his "[[Homo|straight]]" blood, thereby initiating a genocide against homosexuals, bisexuals and asexuals worldwide. Aside from being ethically perverse, this scheme shows an [[honor roll|inexcusable ignorance of simple science]]. Those few crates would barely be enough to infect a modern city's water supply for a few days, let alone worldwide. Transferring a vaccine through the water supply is also ludicrous; not only would the treatment facilities dilute and kill the immunizing vectors, blood-stomach ingestion is one of the weakest ways to transmit a disease.
* Chris '''rapes''' his future self's wife by [[Liquid Chris|pretending to be his future self]].
* Chris blows up a building filled with "devil [[trolls]]", sealing it up beforehand as well to ensure that nothing escapes as he does so.
* Chris (By now, you're probably realizing it's almost ''all'' Chris) breaks [[Jimmy Hill|a man's]] [[Fangs|teeth]] because he [[Parody|parodied]] him.
* Chris violently injects his own blood into his [[Reldnahc|nemesis]], in some sort of harebrained scheme to turn him straight.
* Chris then teleports Reldnahc straight into the domicile of Kel without so much as a trial or medical examination, under the excuse that evil behavior being due to his recent transformation into an evil homosexual hedgehog. Though stripped of his [[Anchuent Prophecy]]-granted powers, Reldnahc was already on the side of the bad guys before his transformation. Thus Chris just delivered a world-class Pokémon trainer working for one of the biggest criminal organizations straight into the arms of one of his unsuspecting friends!
* Chris and the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|Hedgehog Boys]] destroy a populated high-rise building, killing and injuring hundreds of innocent people in an act of extreme [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorism]], because they drew pictures of his imaginary friends with [[Pickles|pee-pees]].
* Chris punches someone in the face hard enough to knock out his teeth, for sardonically referring to him as 'miss'.
* Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|Alec Benson's Leary - Alec Benson's... Try saying that three times fast with plurals. Heh.]] Chris and Sonichu trespass in [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec's]] house, before Chris destroys all of his computer data and then the computer itself.
* Chris and Sonichu then [[Chris and copyright|plagiarize]] all of Alec's [[True and honest|TRUE and HONEST]] creations, followed by having them beat the shit out of Alec and accusing him of keeping [[Rape|female prisoners]] in his basement.
* Chris breaks into an [[Mary Lee Walsh|old woman]]'s house completely unprovoked, and brutally attacks her to the extent of causing permanent paralysis, before having her stripped of her powers and sent to a maximum security prison with no trial.
* Magi-chan shows no sympathy for Silvana's literal emasculation. To be fair, Silvana being gender-changed against her will (she refused a previous offer) is an unavoidable side-effect of stopping the mad [[Count Graduon]], but that's no reason for him to be so gleeful about it.
* Magi-Chan, the inhuman monster he is, informs [[Sandy|an infant]] only minutes old that her mother was murdered by '[[Evan]]'. That's right, even birth doesn't get you out of your duties as Chris's personal bodyguard.
* Chris and his [[Electric hedgehog pokemon|corrupted officials]] have a show trial for [[Asperpedia|four innocent men]], before having them sentenced to death, with little to no evidence against them.
* Chris and his entourage, including a one-week-old girl and a [[Kel|preteen]], brutally execute four people in violent and inhumane ways. Remember, this is a comic Chris claims is aimed at children.
* Chris disrespects [[Wikipedia:Flag Day in Mexico|a national holiday]] by being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]] jackass.

==[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]==

-WIP-

==Sonichu Specials==
* In Sonichu Special 4, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands rather than contacting the local police and/or sending in an ally that could get to Kacey's kidnapper's location faster than he could driving at the speed limit.
* After Chris disarms and wristlocks the kidnapper, Chris intentionally trips him and shoots him in each knee. This is at the very least maiming; Chris is fortunate that his opponent survived to star in [[Episode 20|CWC Defense]], otherwise he'd be facing charges of 2nd or even 1st degree murder.

==[[Mailbag]]==
* One needs to read [[Mailbag 5#Chris does not know what "benevolent" means, or how government works|Mailbag 5]] in conjunction with [[Sonichu 10]] to really grasp the scope of this problem, but the CWCVille municipal government is extremely flawed. There are at least three major problems with the administration: the first is that after being thrown into the [[Time Void]], an interim mayor should have been appointed from the city council's ranks if Chris was going to be gone for so long. Who this would be varies depending on the city's charter but this person is typically the chief administrator officer -- which for a city of CWCVille's size would be an elected position (and not Allison Amber) unless the democratic trappings are even more of a sham than we thought. The second is that we never actually see them doing any work. Why, for example, was city defense left (again) to Allison Amber instead of the chief of police? The third is that the city council didn't do anything to stop or inform others Chris's plan to commit mass murder despite him flat-out telling them; even an amateur paralegal would be able to get charges of conspiracy and accessory to murder to stick.
* In gross violation of the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution Chris reveals that [[Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck|Magi-chan is engaged in psychic surveillance on CWCVille's populace]] to ensure that homosexuality is - as it in the author's own mind - thoroughly suppressed.

==Other Instances==

==See Also==
*[[Chris and writing]]
*[[CWCVille]] - For a more in-depth analysis of the various municipal failings of [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu's]] primary setting.

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category:Comic]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Villains]]

February 2016

2016-02-17T09:40:18Z

JackHaywood:

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' is the second month of '''[[2016]]'''. What's particularly notable this month is that Chris actually apologizes for offending people with Aspergers and a [[pickle]].

==Events of February 2016==
* 1 February - Chris ends his embargo on GameStop, Best Buy and Simon Malls, after realizing his actions didn't have any social or economic impact.
* 1 February - All throughout the remainder of February, the famed [[Yep, I'm on TV :)]] disc will be listed on Etsy.
* 2 February - The KiwiFarmer CatKnight continues with a third [https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/interview3/s-U64WP] [[CatKnight Interview 3|interview]] with Chris.
* 12 February - Chris releases an [[Apologies_for_offending_people|apology video]], apologizing for offending all of the males and individuals with Asperger's in the past, and for sounding like a begger but still wants a PS4 from someone for his birthday.
* 14 February - Valentine's Day.As usual the "Being Single on Valentine's Day" streak continues.
* 16 February - Chris welcomes Julia to the LGBTQ Group.
* 24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 34]]. Chris hopes to receive a PS4 for his birthday. (Despite his monthly tugboat making it so he actually could buy a PS4 no problem.) In return that person will receive a $500 discount off his shitty items on Etsy. It's no surprise what the outcome will be.
{{Timeline}}

February 2016

2016-02-17T09:40:01Z

JackHaywood:

{{Ongoing}}
'''February''' is the second month of '''[[2016]]'''. What's particularly notable this month is that Chris actually apologizes for offending people with Aspergers and a pickle.

==Events of February 2016==
* 1 February - Chris ends his embargo on GameStop, Best Buy and Simon Malls, after realizing his actions didn't have any social or economic impact.
* 1 February - All throughout the remainder of February, the famed [[Yep, I'm on TV :)]] disc will be listed on Etsy.
* 2 February - The KiwiFarmer CatKnight continues with a third [https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/interview3/s-U64WP] [[CatKnight Interview 3|interview]] with Chris.
* 12 February - Chris releases an [[Apologies_for_offending_people|apology video]], apologizing for offending all of the males and individuals with Asperger's in the past, and for sounding like a begger but still wants a PS4 from someone for his birthday.
* 14 February - Valentine's Day.As usual the "Being Single on Valentine's Day" streak continues.
* 16 February - Chris welcomes Julia to the LGBTQ Group.
* 24 February - Chris [[Chris's birthday|turns 34]]. Chris hopes to receive a PS4 for his birthday. (Despite his monthly tugboat making it so he actually could buy a PS4 no problem.) In return that person will receive a $500 discount off his shitty items on Etsy. It's no surprise what the outcome will be.
{{Timeline}}

User:JackHaywood

2016-02-10T14:06:49Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
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|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

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|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

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|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

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|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

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|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
I have wavered between Christianity and agnosticism and paganism in the past. I am now a casual worshipper of the Proto Indo European gods like '''*Dyḗws Ph₂tḗr''' and '''*Perkwunos'''.

User:JackHaywood

2016-02-10T14:06:22Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

{{userbox
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|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
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|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
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|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
I have wavered between Christianity and agnosticism and paganism in the past. I am now a casual worshipper of the Proto Indo European gods like '''*Dyḗws Ph₂tḗr''' and '''*Perkwunos'''.

Chris and religion

2016-01-26T11:19:29Z

JackHaywood: Removed the link as it was probably rendering the text blank.

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" immediately prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often starkly differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, as with all things, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he espouses his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father, creating yet another tier on this wedding cake of theological contradictions.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism.]]
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

The first church Chris and his parents are known to have attended is a Korean Presbyterian church at Chesterfield County.<ref>[[Church audio#00:18:10 - Seth MacFarlane & The Bible]]; [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating spaghetti and conversing (0:36:49–0:44:46)]]</ref> Chris would later on attend [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. Although Chris identifies himself as Methodist and so did his [[Bob Chandler|father]], his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] identifies herself as a Presbyterian.<ref>[[Regina e-mails#Chris rambles like a motherfucker]]</ref>

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's intolerance of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of ''him'', so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not spiritually identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant, or even simply Christian.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Traditionally, Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent male God. He also accepted Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He was reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God (despite other Abrahamic sects using completely different words for Him). In effect, Chris frequently referred to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Essence.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a instrument of his own will than a supreme being to Whom he is subject. In Chris's view of God, the Almighty will overlook (or simply not care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they malign Chris. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did, and Chris invoked God numerous times in his threats to Adam.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He has been commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...". He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his impetus to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. “I'd say my spirit is active while I am awake, but it does more when I am at rest or sleeping,” he wrote in 2014.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref> His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that his prophesied daughter must be white.

Visions from God supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], then [[PandaHalo]] and finally [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]], an idea which Chris may have later taken to heart.

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so out of true [[Chris and remorse|remorse]] and to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

In recent years, Chris appears to have become somewhat disenchanted with God. Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read any time soon. Despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], God has nevertheless imparted upon him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it. Since Chris hasn't gotten exactly what he has prayed for, the fault must lie with God. In a farewell [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial, he wrote that "God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx."

On 7 September 2013, Chris cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[Jerkop]]:

{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

He explained the reasons for his disillusionment in a [[May 2013]] letter to [[Kim]]:

{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)}}

Soon thereafter, inspired by [[Wikipedia:Futurama|Futurama]], he seemed to divorce himself from a Christian conception of God altogether, choosing to believe in a rather capricious, relativistic deity:

{{quote|The Higher Force above us is Always Messing with each of our individual minds every day, rather each of you call him God, Emanuelle, Zeus, Buudah, or even the individual Destiny of your own. I am Not an Atheist, because I Sincerely Believe in the Higher Force of Above Us, even Jesus may be the Higher Force's Son. But every religion will have you believing in the One Same Higher Force. Right Or Wrong, It is truly set up to each Individual Perception of Every Individual Soul among us the Billions of People on this Big Blue Marble among Marbles in the Universe.|Chris on Facebook, August 2014.<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#tl;dr]]</ref>}}
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to Heaven and bad deeds sending them to Hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into Heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based (as opposed to Catholicism, where one's fate in the afterlife is determined almost exclusively by mortal actions and sacraments).

Absurdly, Chris has stated that one goes to Heaven or Hell based completely on personal actions - the Catholic theory, not the Protestant. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to Hell, and need to become heterosexuals to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to Heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for Hell for making fun of people over the Internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris has said that he's open to the idea of reincarnation, common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions. In 2009 he stated flatly that he believed in the concept,<ref>[[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor]]</ref> but in 2014 he seemed more uncertain, writing “It is possible, but I'm not sure.”<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>. He has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris has nothing to do with them and seems to have lifted the notion from [[anime|somewhere else]].

Further complicating Chris's ideas of the afterlife, he believes in ghosts, going so far as to claim that he might have seen one.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#2014 Answers--LevelUpKing]]</ref>

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to Limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

In the eulogy Chris made for [[Patti Chandler|Patti]], he wrote that "[Patti] has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven [...] she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up [in doggy heaven]."<ref>[[Chris emails 2004-2006#September 2006]]</ref> This suggests that Chris believes that animals (or at least dogs) have an afterlife.

==Concept of sin==
[[File:John Asperchu.JPG|thumb|right|Take note, Chris.]]
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to Hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

Chris clearly does not follow the Christian concept of the seven deadly sins, as he commits [[death threats|wrath]], [[Liquid Chris|envy]], [[obesity| gluttony]], [[monthly tugboat|sloth]], [[Chris and money|greed]], [[virgin with rage|lust]] and [[Chris and his ego|pride]] constantly.

==Chris and forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as he goes on to curse and scream at them later on.

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made an honorable plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The GAMe PLACe#Chris's Attitude at the GAMe PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism Tutorial Part 3|threatening to set fire to his business]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris's show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate. 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities. 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again. 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust. 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the Universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur|Soul Calibur III]]'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. The idea of this spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most, if not all, groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stony state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon Chaotic Combo worshipping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the Ten Commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over one billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad mentality is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of her [[Rosechu (species)|species]]. Through Angelica, it is obvious that Chris knows almost nothing about Catholicism and seems to think it's just a variety of Protestantism with nuns - he refers to Catholic priests as [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Angelica_Rosechu|"pastors"] and almost certainly doesn't know the Catholic Bible is different from the one generally used by Protestants. Also, Angelica's home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with. He does, at least, realise that Catholicism is a form of Christianity, which is more than can be said for some.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so (ironically, Catholicism preaches deference on moral issues to one's priest while Protestantism does not). It didn't even occur to Chris that what his pastor said to him wouldn't apply to a Catholic, because Chris is incapable of seeing things from perspectives besides his own.

Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons. While it is not clear how much does Chris knows about [[:wikipedia:Unitarianism|Unitarianism]] (likely not a lot), he is not hostile toward that sect; [[Jackie]] identified herself as a Unitarian,<ref>[[Jackie#Profile]]</ref> and Chris was not bothered by this (conceivably because he didn't know what it was).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails]]</ref>

Given that he takes his own religion à la carte, Chris is likely unaware of most of the differences between the sects of Protestantism, and, indeed, the differences between Protestantism and Catholicism. He has never been pressed for comment on Eastern variants of Christianity, such as the Eastern Orthodox church, and it is uncertain what he thinks of these sects, or if he's even aware of their existence.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], and [[Sonichu 11]]" reveal that Chris has a somewhat basic awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich [sic] Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan the Moralf**|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> In all likelihood he knows nothing about Islam or the Quran, and is not known to have ever commented on the religion directly.

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref> His opinion of it has probably been culled from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Non-theism===
Out of all of these sections, Chris's opinion of irreligious people, and atheists in particular, is the most vacillating and incoherent, and also coincidentally one of the best documented.

[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process, and even seemed to make him uneasy.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

[[Ruckersville, VA|Unsurprisingly]], he doesn't seem to like or trust atheists, but even there, he has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> Even from an evangelical point of view, it's hard enough for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them without Chris going around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[trolls]] by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common Questions#09 January 2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. This shows that Chris simply doesn't comprehend non-belief in religion, as of course an atheist would not be cowed by the threat of something they by definition don't believe exists. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist, a deist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]]. However, in his later, revised [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] account, he states (to the surprise of nobody) that he would be willing to date an atheist if it meant he had a chance at some [[Chris and sex|hanky panky]].

In another sudden turn, in his [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a strawman-using fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist, although his opinion on this is unclear.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

January 2016

2016-01-26T11:05:59Z

JackHaywood:

{{Ongoing}}
{{Needs Updating}}

'''January''' is the first month of '''[[2016]]'''. With the New Year in full flow, a [[26 December 2014|court case resolved]] and GameStop and Lulu stressing Chris out, along with his [[Health|unhealthy]] use of Oestrogel, this may very well be an interesting year.

==Events of January==
* 1 January - Chris wishes everyone a Happy New Year in the form of [[random-access humor|"random access gibberish"]] on Facebook and continues to complain about [[Chris and health|feeling dizzy and sick]].
* 6 January - Chris uploads [[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement|a new video]], in which he advertises his "Lesbian sleepover". This is certainly not an attempt to [[Love Quest|lure]] and [[rape]] other women, or anything like that.
* 11 January - The Lesbian Sleepover Party is privatized, with the only invitees being the few who received an invitation. A few users on [[CWCki Forums|Kiwi Farms]] have claimed to have obtained an invite.
* 12 January - Chris uploads a video telling people to not go to Jeff/Francine's "Lesbian slumber party" and mentions how he has yet to mail Chris' $100000 check. The video was, however, removed the next day.
* 17 January - Chris uploads another video regarding Jeff/Francine's "slumber party" where he "retracts" the stance he made in the previous video. He proceeds to sarcastically banter on about how Jeff/Francine's party is going to be "off the hook" and "radical", and that everybody should go to it.
* 17 January - On Facebook, Amiibos of [[Autism]] are shown to all.
* 21 January - Chris posts an heavily [[hypocrisy|hypocritical]] post on [[Facebook]].
* 23 January - A KiwiFarmer conducts a [https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/part-1-christine/s-iCiQa|two]]] [[[https://soundcloud.com/cat-knight-430471584/part-2/s-o9B33|part] interview for Chris.
* 25 January - Chris makes a video saying he can't deliver his orders because of the snowstorm and recites a poem.

==References==
{{Timeline}}

January 2016 Facebook Posts

2016-01-21T09:55:32Z

JackHaywood:

This page covers Chris's activity on his Facebook profile during January 2016.
==Summary==
==Chris's Posts==
===The Big Reveal===
{{quotebox|**Announcement, Retraction, and Correction(s)**

It has come to my attention that Jeff Ouzos, is set to serve time in prison. Suffice to say that among which, his shop on Zazzle.com, along with his other shops, will not be able to fulfill any orders for a Very Long time. During his remaining free time, I pray he is able to make such online amends.

I most sincerely feel sorry for her outcome in life.

At least now I can retract my recent passive-aggressive promotions of her party. I REALLY did not want to promote anything of hers at all. I had to this time, because, stubborn S,O.B. she was, she refused to pay me the Retro-Royalties from the use of my characters and self image on her shops.

And since it is moot now, I can finally state how upset I have felt about her and why. Among which, her continuing Pretentious, Egocentric, Selfish, Greedy, Delusional attitude and behavior REALLY closed the deal. Especially AFTER I doxed her in the earlier video, she had communicated with me her feelings of regret and sadness and desire to make amends. Alas, shortly later, NOTHING had changed in her attitude and behavior. In private chats with my new lady friend, Jeff interrupted and Really butted in and tried to prove herself Better than I. I had remained as cool as possible, regardless of the anxiety and stress Jeff's intrusions have caused unto me and my friend.

To put it most blunt: Jeff is no better than the Egocentric, Self-Centered, Narcissistic, Sociopathic, probably Psychopathic, Sexist, probably Paranoid, Insecure, unable to maintain having learned Anything from past misdeeds and errors Looney Tune, Daffy Duck. Not to mention that she also Continues to Panhandle, use my name to get sex and online money and misdirected fame, even regardless of having just got a home for herself.

I HAD offered an olive branch of friendship and kindness after Jeff communicated her regrets after the doxing, but then I felt need to retract it after she resumed her mal-social behavior and attitude shortly after. I had informed Jeff that she and I were Not friends after she showed her bad ass to my face, but she disillusioned and misperceived continuing friendship between her and I. She Really had Disappointed me

I was concerned over all this going against her, and her past misdeeds catching up eventually, in hopes of trying to make her understand and improve herself mentally and emotionally in maturity. I was mistaken.

I want to thank Jeff for her support and interests in my works and creations over the years. It offended and disappoints me that she had used my name for sex and misplaced money and fame upon herself, though.}}

Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-19T15:17:48Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the aforementioned date. Here, Chris passive-aggressively expresses his rage and jealousy over the fact that Jeff/Francine is holding a slumber party exactly like his.

At this point, Chris has taken to [[Chris and money|panhandling]] for his primary source of [[Monthly tugboat|income]]. In addition, it seems that Chris now has a new troll on his hands.

Facts aside, it seems that Chris has revived the famous [[Captain's Log]] series under the more mundane title, "Update". This style of naming videos is very similar to how Chris led into his Sagas, eventually having the titles devolve into mindless raving and ranting.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/17/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ftpzD6gK22I}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = "Rainbow Dash" T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 01/12/2016]]
|next =
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello and good day once again my fellow people. I am here at my desk and I am working on the figures. Still catching up I am getting so much closer, I'm just about done with catching up with the orders. But still could use some more money coming in so... more orders would be appreciated as well as donations. But anyway it's all going well and good.

And also... yes... I'm retracting my previous engagement in the video and uhh... I hereby announce that you should totally go to Jeff's party. ''*Chris's voice becomes noticeably sarcastic*'' It will be so off the hook. I mean... it's totally not a bullshit imitation of my party. Bullshit imitation. Like mine would be so much better, or like his would be much better than mine. No difference. Oh yeah and Jeff is totally a super nice gal and all. Not a total asshole. So contact Mistress Jeff if you want more details on going to her party. Yeah. Totally off the haps, off the ropes and everything.

''*his voice jarringly goes back to normal*'' That's about it for right now, thank you everybody. Have a good safe day. If you get some snow outside well, make sure you're parked with the windshield facing the sun in the early morning. In other words, facing the east. So you'll have a more melted windshield quickly. Thank you.

''Five seconds of silence as Chris fiddles with his remote to stop the recording''
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-18T17:19:26Z

JackHaywood:

Credit goes to Cuntster on Kiwi Farms for the transcript! [[User:JackHaywood|JackHaywood]] ([[User talk:JackHaywood|talk]]) 18:32, 17 January 2016 (UTC)

== Should the CWCki have a page on Jeff/Francine? ==
This might be a dumb idea, but seems to me that we should have a page about this because new readers need to know who exactly Jeff/Francine is. She's been mentioned in many of Chris' videos, so she obviously has a large part in Chris' life, but I also don't think there's enough information about her to create an article. --[[User:TheGrumblebee|TheGrumblebee]] ([[User talk:TheGrumblebee|talk]]) 02:52, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

I'd wait at least two years before considering something like that. [[User:JackHaywood|JackHaywood]] ([[User talk:JackHaywood|talk]]) 17:19, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

Michael Snyder

2016-01-17T20:06:01Z

JackHaywood: removed grammar mistake

{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!......'''JEW!'''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| Unknown, '''''JEW''''' (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011 - 2014)
|-
|}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of [[Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in June [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] Chris seems to hate for no reason.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard,"<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]],"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref> a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew,"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> "cold-hearted and mean,"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref> a "sonofabitch,"<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref> and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]."<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. Legal punishment has done nothing to check Chris's rage.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, he scared the small children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his racism and homophobia shine. He would also take his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and commandeer the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in the store, and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chis from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point." Michael himself would later recall, in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk."<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy#Michael Snyder's reply]]</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]], February 2011}}
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the 'F' out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident," Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tries to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumes that Mike would know or care what a Mary Lee Walsh is.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Mike is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER," seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

[[Matthew Noble call|A phone call]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don--didn't like it then and I still don't like it....Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people--kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.|Bob. Oh, Bob.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe to make a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]] out of Mike's picture. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris would tell a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Mike that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>, or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys," newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit the proprietor with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike filed a civil suit against them both.

The trial was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain, however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}

==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the trial.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]

Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law, and and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, according to Chris, Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner," inducing him and his mother to enter the store. Chris has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy in 2008, Michael had banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he believed that Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] formed a sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reutation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the Law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa. This is Snyder's last known interaction in regards to Chris.

By June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys had been closed for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear.

Michael also had a YouTube account, ''TheRcholic'', which he famously used to provide details of the 4 June 2010 incident and to reply directly to Chris on his [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video. The account was closed at an unknown time.

{{-}}

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Template:Da update

2016-01-17T19:05:16Z

JackHaywood:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 17 [[January 2016|January]] - Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over Jeff/Francine's slumber party in his [[Update 1/17/2016|newest video]].
* 12 [[January 2016|January]] - Aware that he's been tricked, Chris makes [[Update 01/12/2016|a new video]] to voice his anger.
* 6 [[January 2016|January]] - [[Pollo]] makes one of his first appearances on video. It's a shame that Chris is ignoring Pollo to try and get [[china]] with his '[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]'
* 1 [[January 2016|January]]- Chris wishes everyone a Happy New Year in the form of [[random-access humor|"random access gibberish"]] on Facebook and continues to complain about feeling dizzy and sick.
* 26 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris uploads a holiday greeting for Karen Riley from Kiwi Farms. Apparently, she never even asked him for it...
* 22 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris wants to squeeze more money out of his fans, so he posts [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|A new video]] in an attempt to squeeze money out of them.
* 19 [[December 2015|December]] - [[Jimmy Hill]], original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], dies.
* 18 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris fails to stop himself from mangling [[Jungle bells|another song]], and shows off his new shirt.
* 15 [[December 2015|December]] - "The Twelve Days of Christmas" gets butchered horribly thanks to Chris reinventing it in a [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas|new video]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Talk:Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-17T18:32:14Z

JackHaywood: Created page with "Credit goes to Cuntster on Kiwi Farms for the transcript! ~~~~"

Credit goes to Cuntster on Kiwi Farms for the transcript! [[User:JackHaywood|JackHaywood]] ([[User talk:JackHaywood|talk]]) 18:32, 17 January 2016 (UTC)

Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-17T18:31:10Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the aforementioned date. Here, Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over the fact that Jeff/Francine is holding a slumber party exactly like his.

Facts aside, it seems that Chris has revived the famous [[Captain's Log]] series under the more mundane title, "Update".

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/17/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EnbjREQxSwY}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = "Rainbow Dash" T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 01/12/2016]]
|next =
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello and good day once again my fellow people. I am here at my desk and I am working on the figures. Still catching up I am getting so much closer, I'm just about done with catching up with the orders. But still could use some more money coming in so... more orders would be appreciated as well as donations. But anyway it's all going well and good.

And also... yes... I'm retracting my previous engagement in the video and I hereby announce that you should totally go to Jeff's party. It will be so off the hook. I mean... it's totally not a bullshit imitation of my party. Bullshit imitation. Like mine would be so much better, or like his would be much better than mine. No difference. Oh yeah and Jeff is totally a super nice gal and all. Not a total asshole. So contact Mistress Jeff if you want more details on going to her party. Yeah. Totally off the haps, off the ropes and everything.

That's about it for right now, thank you everybody. Have a good safe day. If you get some snow outside well, make sure you're parked with the windshield facing the sun in the early morning. In other words, facing the east. So you'll have a more melted windshield quickly. Thank you.

Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-17T18:31:01Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the aforementioned date. Here, Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over the fact that Jeff/Francine is holding a slumber party exactly like his.

Facts aside, it seems that Chris has revived the famous [[Captain's Log]] series under the more mundane title, "Update".

== Video ==
== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/17/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EnbjREQxSwY}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = "Rainbow Dash" T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 01/12/2016]]
|next =
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello and good day once again my fellow people. I am here at my desk and I am working on the figures. Still catching up I am getting so much closer, I'm just about done with catching up with the orders. But still could use some more money coming in so... more orders would be appreciated as well as donations. But anyway it's all going well and good.

And also... yes... I'm retracting my previous engagement in the video and I hereby announce that you should totally go to Jeff's party. It will be so off the hook. I mean... it's totally not a bullshit imitation of my party. Bullshit imitation. Like mine would be so much better, or like his would be much better than mine. No difference. Oh yeah and Jeff is totally a super nice gal and all. Not a total asshole. So contact Mistress Jeff if you want more details on going to her party. Yeah. Totally off the haps, off the ropes and everything.

That's about it for right now, thank you everybody. Have a good safe day. If you get some snow outside well, make sure you're parked with the windshield facing the sun in the early morning. In other words, facing the east. So you'll have a more melted windshield quickly. Thank you.

Update 1/17/2016

2016-01-17T18:30:33Z

JackHaywood: Created page with "'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the aforementioned date. Here, Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over the fact that Jeff/Francine is holding a slumber party..."

'''Update 1/17/2016''' is a video uploaded on the aforementioned date. Here, Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over the fact that Jeff/Francine is holding a slumber party exactly like his.

Facts aside, it seems that Chris has revived the famous {{Captain's Log}} series under the more mundane title, "Update".

== Video ==
== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 1/17/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EnbjREQxSwY}}
| stardate = 17 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = "Rainbow Dash" T-shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Update 01/12/2016]]
|next =
}}

== Transcription ==

Hello and good day once again my fellow people. I am here at my desk and I am working on the figures. Still catching up I am getting so much closer, I'm just about done with catching up with the orders. But still could use some more money coming in so... more orders would be appreciated as well as donations. But anyway it's all going well and good.

And also... yes... I'm retracting my previous engagement in the video and I hereby announce that you should totally go to Jeff's party. It will be so off the hook. I mean... it's totally not a bullshit imitation of my party. Bullshit imitation. Like mine would be so much better, or like his would be much better than mine. No difference. Oh yeah and Jeff is totally a super nice gal and all. Not a total asshole. So contact Mistress Jeff if you want more details on going to her party. Yeah. Totally off the haps, off the ropes and everything.

That's about it for right now, thank you everybody. Have a good safe day. If you get some snow outside well, make sure you're parked with the windshield facing the sun in the early morning. In other words, facing the east. So you'll have a more melted windshield quickly. Thank you.

Template:Da update

2016-01-17T18:20:21Z

JackHaywood:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 17 [[January 2016|January]] - Chris expresses his rage and jealousy over Jeff/Francine's slumber party in his [[newest video]].
* 12 [[January 2016|January]] - Aware that he's been tricked, Chris makes [[Update 01/12/2016|a new video]] to voice his anger.
* 6 [[January 2016|January]] - [[Pollo]] makes one of his first appearances on video. It's a shame that Chris is ignoring Pollo to try and get [[china]] with his '[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]'
* 1 [[January 2016|January]]- Chris wishes everyone a Happy New Year in the form of [[random-access humor|"random access gibberish"]] on Facebook and continues to complain about feeling dizzy and sick.
* 26 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris uploads a holiday greeting for Karen Riley from Kiwi Farms. Apparently, she never even asked him for it...
* 22 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris wants to squeeze more money out of his fans, so he posts [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|A new video]] in an attempt to squeeze money out of them.
* 19 [[December 2015|December]] - [[Jimmy Hill]], original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], dies.
* 18 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris fails to stop himself from mangling [[Jungle bells|another song]], and shows off his new shirt.
* 15 [[December 2015|December]] - "The Twelve Days of Christmas" gets butchered horribly thanks to Chris reinventing it in a [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas|new video]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Template:Da update

2016-01-17T18:20:06Z

JackHaywood:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 17 [[January 2016|January]] - Chris expresses his rage and jealously over Jeff/Francine's slumber party in his [[newest video]].
* 12 [[January 2016|January]] - Aware that he's been tricked, Chris makes [[Update 01/12/2016|a new video]] to voice his anger.
* 6 [[January 2016|January]] - [[Pollo]] makes one of his first appearances on video. It's a shame that Chris is ignoring Pollo to try and get [[china]] with his '[[Lesbian Sleepover Party Announcement.]]'
* 1 [[January 2016|January]]- Chris wishes everyone a Happy New Year in the form of [[random-access humor|"random access gibberish"]] on Facebook and continues to complain about feeling dizzy and sick.
* 26 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris uploads a holiday greeting for Karen Riley from Kiwi Farms. Apparently, she never even asked him for it...
* 22 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris wants to squeeze more money out of his fans, so he posts [[$50 for a video holiday greeting!|A new video]] in an attempt to squeeze money out of them.
* 19 [[December 2015|December]] - [[Jimmy Hill]], original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], dies.
* 18 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris fails to stop himself from mangling [[Jungle bells|another song]], and shows off his new shirt.
* 15 [[December 2015|December]] - "The Twelve Days of Christmas" gets butchered horribly thanks to Chris reinventing it in a [[Twelve New and Old Things of Christmas|new video]].
* 15 [[December 2015|December]] - Chris, deciding that people haven't seen him jiggle in a while, uploads a video where he performs [[A little song and dance]].

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, namely new content. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

User:JackHaywood

2016-01-16T21:31:28Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
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|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

{{userbox
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|info-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF
|id= [[File:Asspielogo.png|35px|High-Functioning Autistic]]
|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
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|info-border-col = #FDEDD4
|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
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|box-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-bg-col= #D0DDDD
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|info-border-col = #D0DDDD
|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
{{userbox
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|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:Christian cross.svg.png|40px|Christian cross]]
|info= '''Christian''' This user is an Orthodox [[Chris_and_religion|Christian]] and has accepted Christ as his savior.}}

I believe in the Holy Trinity, the power of prayer and veneration of saints, and it pains me to see Chris mishandle the Christian faith so shamelessly. Praise be to God!

User:JackHaywood

2016-01-16T21:30:59Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-border-col= #D9FFFB
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #89CFF0
|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #CF142B
|box-bg-col= #00247D
|id-bg-col= #193a8a
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|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #345198
|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #7CA2D9
|box-bg-col= #FFFFFF
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|id-border-col= #FFFFFF
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF
|id= [[File:Asspielogo.png|35px|High-Functioning Autistic]]
|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #91788D
|box-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|id-bg-col= #FDEDD4
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|info-col= #91788D
|info-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|info-border-col = #FDEDD4
|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-border-col= #D0DDDD
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|info-border-col = #D0DDDD
|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #FFFF00
|box-bg-col= #fff
|id-bg-col= #fff
|id-border-col= #fff
|info-col= #0000AA
|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:Christian cross.svg.png|40px|Christian cross]]
|info= '''Christian''' This user is an Orthodox [[Chris_and_religion|Christian]] and has accepted Christ as his savior.}}

I believe in the Holy Trinity , the power of prayer AND veneration of saints, and it pains me to see Chris mishandle the Christian faith so shamelessly. Praise be to God!

User:JackHaywood

2016-01-16T21:30:27Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-border-col= #D9FFFB
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #89CFF0
|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #CF142B
|box-bg-col= #00247D
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|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #345198
|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #7CA2D9
|box-bg-col= #FFFFFF
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|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF
|id= [[File:Asspielogo.png|35px|High-Functioning Autistic]]
|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #91788D
|box-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|id-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|id-border-col= #FDEDD4
|info-col= #91788D
|info-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|info-border-col = #FDEDD4
|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-border-col= #D0DDDD
|info-col= #000
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|info-border-col = #D0DDDD
|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

==FAITH==
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #FFFF00
|box-bg-col= #fff
|id-bg-col= #fff
|id-border-col= #fff
|info-col= #0000AA
|info-bg-col= #fff
|info-border-col = #fff
|id= [[Image:Christian cross.svg.png|40px|Christian cross]]
|info= '''Christian''' This user is an Orthodox [[Chris_and_religion|Christian]] and has accepted Christ as his savior.}}

I believe in the Holy Trinity and the power of prayer, and it pains me to see Chris mishandle the Christian faith so shamelessly. Praise be to God!

Update 01/12/2016

2016-01-12T11:58:49Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets jealous that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]].

== Description ==
{{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.}}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2IVQnjFpm-M}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''([[Stress sigh|sigh]])'' I'm in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

I want to make a few thi-I want to make one thing very very clear, er, with the, er, individual... er, (???) male to female Jeff/Francine, Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my watch and he's- he has been requested to pay me and wrote to me and hasn't done so yet. Also er...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

The infringement on my (psychiatric?) character is still under a bit of debate-

{{transcription}}

Update 01/12/2016

2016-01-12T11:57:46Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets jealous that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]].

== Description ==
{{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.}}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2IVQnjFpm-M}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trolls|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''([[Stress sigh|sigh]])'' I'm in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

I want to make a few thi-I want to make one thing very very clear, er, with the, er, individual... er, (???) male to female Jeff/Francine, Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my watch and he's- he has been requested to pay me and wrote to me and hasn't done so yet. Also er...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

The infringement on my (psychiatric?) character is still under a bit of debate-

{{transcription}}

Update 01/12/2016

2016-01-12T11:57:20Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets upset that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]].

== Description ==
{{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.}}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2IVQnjFpm-M}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trolls|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''([[Stress sigh|sigh]])'' I'm in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

I want to make a few thi-I want to make one thing very very clear, er, with the, er, individual... er, (???) male to female Jeff/Francine, Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my watch and he's- he has been requested to pay me and wrote to me and hasn't done so yet. Also er...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

The infringement on my (psychiatric?) character is still under a bit of debate-

{{transcription}}

Update 01/12/2016

2016-01-12T11:57:04Z

JackHaywood:

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets upset that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]].

== Description ==
{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.}

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2IVQnjFpm-M}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Trolls|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''([[Stress sigh|sigh]])'' I'm in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

I want to make a few thi-I want to make one thing very very clear, er, with the, er, individual... er, (???) male to female Jeff/Francine, Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my watch and he's- he has been requested to pay me and wrote to me and hasn't done so yet. Also er...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

The infringement on my (psychiatric?) character is still under a bit of debate-

{{transcription}}

Update 01/12/2016

2016-01-12T11:53:10Z

JackHaywood: Created page with "'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets upset that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and Hypocrisy|iron..."

'''Update 01/12/2016''' was of course, created on 12 January 2016. In this video, Chris gets upset that someone else is holding a lesbian sleepover party, and [[Hypocrisy|ironically]] gets upset that someone is [[Copyright|ripping off]] [[Brand loyalty|his merchandise]].

== Description ==
{quotebox|I Do NOT endorse Ouzuo's Sleepover Party at all.)

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Update 01/12/2016
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2IVQnjFpm-M}}
| stardate = 12 [[January 2016]]
| maker = CwcvilleGuardian
| subject = {{Lulu|text}}
| style = {{Anger|text}},
| shirt = "Do What Makes You Happy" lilac shirt
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| previous = [[Announcement and update 1/12/2016]]
}}

== Transcription ==
''Chris's voice is unusually quiet, and his expression is warped. He's clearly upset.''

Hello everybody, good evening. ''([[Stress sigh|sigh]])'' I'm in a bit of a mood right now, not to upset my current business inputs and whatnot, buuut...

I want to make a few thi-I want to make one thing very very clear, er, with the, er, individual... er, (???) male to female Jeff/Francine, Ouzuo's over in Seattle, Washington... hmm, has pretended to ''be'' me and er, made knockoff merchandise on my watch and he's- he has been requested to pay me and wrote to me and hasn't done so yet. Also er...

''Chris breathes deeply.''

The infringement on my (psychiatric?) character is still under a bit of debate-

{{transcription}}

{{transcription}}

User:JackHaywood

2016-01-11T20:03:36Z

JackHaywood:

==Hi!==
One or two people here may remember me from Kiwi Farms. I'm here to help with adding info to the CWCki, mostly concerning updating the CWChronology.

I'm a man in my late teens who discovered CWC through an obscure commentary video. Being the sort of person who frequents the internet beyond Facebook, "funny" pictures and news sites and wishes that others would do the same instead of paying the web a disservice by not using it to its fullest potential, and the sort who enjoys information and something casual to occupy himself with, this hangout is PERFECT for a guy like me!

I am neither a white knight nor a troll. While I may poke fun at Chris occasionally, I'm a warm-hearted Christorian at heart.

==RANDOM INFORMATION==
{{userbox
|box-border-col= #0000FF
|box-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-bg-col= #D9FFFB
|id-border-col= #D9FFFB
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #89CFF0
|info-border-col = #89CFF0
|id= [[Image:Male symbol.png|50px|A JERK]]
|info= '''JERK''' This user is [[JERKS|a JERK]] and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|takes away all the girls]].}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #CF142B
|box-bg-col= #00247D
|id-bg-col= #193a8a
|id-border-col= #00247D
|info-col= #fff
|info-bg-col= #345198
|info-border-col = #00247D
|id= [[Image:Uk-flag.png|55px|Union Jack]]
|info= '''Britfag''': [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|got no luck]] against this user, who is British.}}
{{Straight|male}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #7CA2D9
|box-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|id-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|id-border-col= #FFFFFF
|info-col= #0000FF
|info-bg-col= #FFFFFF
|info-border-col = #FFFFFF
|id= [[File:Asspielogo.png|35px|High-Functioning Autistic]]
|info= '''High-Functioning Autistic''' This user has [[autism|high-functioning autism]], and therefore receives lots of stress from his/her gosh darn Mental Block.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #91788D
|box-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|id-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|id-border-col= #FDEDD4
|info-col= #91788D
|info-bg-col= #FDEDD4
|info-border-col = #FDEDD4
|id= [[Image:ECP 00025.jpg|60px|Chris Acting Black]]
|info= '''White''' This user is white and finds Chris's [[Chris and race|race relations]] embarrassing.}}

{{userbox
|box-border-col= #000
|box-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|id-border-col= #D0DDDD
|info-col= #000
|info-bg-col= #D0DDDD
|info-border-col = #D0DDDD
|id= [[Image:CWCism-IllBreakYouDead.png|50px|I'll Break You Dead]]
|info= '''Transcriber''' This user transcribes videos, and has no doubt become insane from regular exposure to Chris's fail.}}

2016

2016-01-11T19:36:04Z

JackHaywood:

'''2016''' is currently the eighth year of organized trolling. Chris barely makes it out of jail with the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] that has been the main subject of last year, with Chris now serving probation.

He has recently tried to organize a lesbian party, but has now privatized it to a privileged few.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

2016

2016-01-11T19:35:54Z

JackHaywood:

'''2016''' is currently the eighth year of organized trolling. Chris barely makes it out of jail with the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] that has been the main subject of last year, with Chris now serving probation.

He has recently tried to organise a lesbian party, but has now privatized it to a privileged few.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]

2016

2016-01-11T19:35:34Z

JackHaywood:

'''2016''' is currently the eighth year of organized trolling. Chris barely makes it out of jail with the [[26 December 2014|GameStop incident]] that has been the main subject of last year, with Chris now serving probation.

He has recently tried to organise a lesbian party, but has now privatised it to a privileged few.

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Timeline}} [[Category:Chronology]]