CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of fictional characters guest appearing in Sonichu

2018-04-16T21:36:29Z

Jackingura: /* Sonic the Hedgehog */

[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Yeah, doc, how dare you [[Chris and hypocrisy|use other people's characters without their permission]]?]]
One of the hallmarks of the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' series is its frequent use of guest appearances by fictional characters from other properties. The following is a list of these characters.

Note that this list is '''not''' intended to include any of the following:

* Characters based upon real-life people, such as [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[B-Manajerk]].
* Characters created by people other than Chris but basically intended for the comic, like [[Megagi]] and [[Jiggliami]].
* Fan characters and parodies that Chris has chosen to acknowledge, like [[Simonchu]] and [[Asperchu]].
* Thinly-veiled ripoffs of existing characters, like [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], [[Simonla]], [[G.D.W. Shinabe]]... well, you get the idea.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Sonic the Hedgehog franchise==

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

SEGA mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic (aside from Sonichu). He makes a few appearances in the comic. Most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped.

Sonic also appears on the cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] and gets a episode of him, Sonichu, and Chris 'catching up' in the [[Patreon|Patreon-exclusive]] pages.

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|"I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!"]]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a twelve-year-old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]'', where she singlehandedly defeated the [[Wikipedia:List of Sonic the Hedgehog video game characters#E-100 Alpha (ZERO)|Zero robot]] and in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure 2|Sonic Adventure 2]]'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] where she talks with [[Rosechu]] at [[CWCville Mall]] about meaningless bullshit.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}
[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|right|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, Dr. Eggman has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers: Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help [[Giovanni]] devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the [[PVCC]]. Why he would do any of these things, or have a grudge against Chris in the first place, is never addressed.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable [[Wikipedia:E-Series_Robots#E-100_Series|E-Series robots]], as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course [[Wikipedia:Metal Sonic|Metal Sonic]]. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite (as seen in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Unleashed|Sonic Unleashed]]'') that could easily destroy the entire planet. However, none of these resources whatseoever are employed against Chris at any point, Robotnik instead relying on catching [[Pokemon]] and allying with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] (again, for no apparent reason).

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of [[Blake]]. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]' solo album.

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.

[[File:MightyAndTiara.jpg|thumb|right|Chris has a penchant for characters that no one has heard of.]]

===Tiara Boobowski===

Even more obscure is Tiara. Originally created as a playable character, but later mitigated as an NPC and love interest for Sonic, in the canceled [[Wikipedia:Sonic X-treme|''Sonic X-Treme'']] game for the Sega Genesis, bumped to the Sega 32X, and finally the Sega Saturn before being scrapped outright. She appears alongside Mighty the Armadillo while Chris fantasizes about inserting Sonic characters in R.L Stine novels. He would mention this after lamenting the cancellation in the first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC chat]].

Nearly two years later, Chris created her in [[ModNation Racers]]. It should be noted that Tiara was drawn with orange fur and brown hair in the ''Sonic X-Treme'' concept art, yet Chris depicts her all-pink like [[Amy Rose]].

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]]'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes '''Perfect Chaos''', a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

==Pokémon==

:''See [[Pokémon#Pokémon characters appearing in Sonichu comics]]''

==''Gilligan's Island''==

[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]
In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the élitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

==[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]==

For no obvious reason, William Spicer is depicted in [[Sonichu 5]] as the Yu-Gi-Oh! character Jack's Knight. His role is extremely limited, as Chris foresees him being brutally murdered by [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] and rushes to avert this tragedy. Jack's Knight proves to be a lumbering moron, unable to save his bride [[Sarah Hammer]] from Wes-Li or do much of anything but wait for Chris to defeat the villain.

==Others==

* A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th-century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier. It's also staggeringly ironic how Chris pouts over infringement of his (non-existent) copyright via use of ''another copyrighted character''.
* The Skelevision and the Ghost Buggy are borrowed from [[Ghostbusters|Filmation's Ghostbusters]] cartoon for the infamous "''[[Family Guy]]'' skitch" in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. Ghost Buggy in particular has secured his place in Sonichu lore.
* In a nod to the ''[[Futurama]]: Bender's Big Score'' DVD, Bender is seen careening through the [[time void]] in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].
* [[Beavis and Butt-head]] make a brief cameo in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]].
* From [[Transformers]], both [[Optimus Prime]] and [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] have appeared in the comics to callously murder innocents.
* Sackboy from ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' pops up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to warn readers not to bootleg his game.
* In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Chris alludes to his discovery that [[Blanca]] was a [[troll]] by depicting her true form as the titular Troll from the [[Wikipedia:Troll_(film)|1986 movie]].
* After Chris and Ivy's wedding in [[Sonichu Special 1]], a [[My Little Pony]] is used to draw their carriage.
* [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] seemingly appears in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to fulfill a romantic fantasy of Chris's – that is, his fantasy to kiss [[Silvana|a hedgehog with a penis]].
* The cast of [[Planet Dolan]] was set to appear in a crossover special in [[Sonichu 13|''Sonichu'' #13]] but recent events seem to have ended that idea.

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category: Lists]][[Category: Characters]][[Category: Things Chris has ripped off]]

User:Jackingura

2018-04-16T19:19:34Z

Jackingura:

Hello, I have no idea what I am doing here. I play piano and regret most of all of my life decisions, also I am making a Chris-Chan case
study. {{Armchair Psychologist}}

*Not licences to practice

Secret Weapon

2018-04-16T18:24:55Z

Jackingura: /* Transcript */

{{Quote|Isn’t that Chris-Chan’s arch enemy Clyde Cash?|Paper Jam Dipper's top comment on Know Your Meme's article about Lee Hotti.}}

'''Secret Weapon''' is a [[YouTube]] video posted by [[Chris]] on 30 [[March 2009]]. In this video, Chris claims to have the mugshot of the evil [[Clyde Cash]], which is actually a picture of Lee Hotti. Nonetheless, it is now jokingly circulated as Clyde's picture.

==Description==
{{quotebox|I have your photo; you will be turned in.}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Secret Weapon
| video = {{#ev:youtube|btXP1JthVes}}
| stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| style = {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!#Director.27s_Cut|Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut)]]
| next = [[YouTube Finale#Video|YouTube Finale]]
}}

{{quote|You're a freak!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|Chris was a guido in [[2003]]]]

Laugh now, as much as you want Mr. '''Sin Dinero''' [''[[Spanish]], obviously meaning "[[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special#Part 2: .239 and .238|without money]]"''], because you have [[Chris and money|no money]]. And you, I can tell you why you can't, why you try to [[SHE IS MINE NOW|steal other men's women]], I tell you what.

[''looks at picture of "[[Clyde Cash]]", scoffs''] And a big detail you left, you may eh, you might have not overlooked. [''[[Chris and cinematography|holds picture up and off-center to the camera]]''] I have your mugshot. I can't even stand to look at it! All those ''damn freckles''! [''At this point, Chris moves the paper aside slightly and you can see he's reading off something else for his lines''] You're a [[autism|FREAK]]! [''The audio distorts a bit at this point, making Chris's laugh even more disturbing.'']
{{RageQuote|'''''HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAA-HAAA!'''''}}
[''At'' this ''point, Clyde's "mugshot" is positioned fully at the camera''] I scoff at you, you ugly ''freak!''
{{Clear}}

==See also==
*[[No More Jokes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]|nextlink=[[YouTube Finale]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-30]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-30]]

The Miscreants

2018-04-16T18:16:02Z

Jackingura: /* History */

[[Image:Miscreantslogo.jpg|thumb|left|150px|The Miscreants logo]]
[[File:Original Miscreants1.png|thumb|right|150px|The [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] founding members of the Miscreants.]]
{{quote|La li lu le lo, la li lu le lo...|[[Metal Gear Solid|WHO ARE THE MISCREANTS?!]]}}
{{quote|Ya'll making me nervous right now!|Chris on The Miscreants}}
'''The Ancient and Secret Order of the Miscreants''' (aka "'''The Miscreants'''") was a secret society dedicated to keeping [[autistic]] man-children from getting [[love quest|laid]]. Because of a lucrative promotional deal with [[Nintendo]], the Miscreants were briefly known as '''The Mewscreants''' in [[April 2009]].

While online wars have been waged, more recently [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Men in Pickle Suits]] have been deployed to ruin [[Chris]] in reality. These exploits have included stealing his [[Emily|date]], obtaining potentially life-ruining material, and generally being lulzy. [[Clyde Cash]] was the original leader of The Miscreants, but when he temporarily went missing, [[Vivian Gee]] became his successor via a rigged poll on their website.
{{Clear}}
==History==
[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|thumb|The Miscreants at their annual Ancient and Secret convention.]]
On 23 [[February 2009]], The Miscreants approached Chris in [[Mumble]] and informed him of their plan. Several [[Secret Weapon|"HA-HA, I got you!"]] videos were made, all with false information. To deal with these [[Trolls|Internet bullies]] Chris resorted to [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009|babbling incoherently]].

After the disappearance of Clyde Cash, the site was down for a few weeks, with the message that "Clyde's dead, baby." After that, the website returned, apparently re-uploaded by Vivian Gee. Part of the site description read "Name's Vivian. Guess I'm the new leader or some shit. Fuck y'all."

On 28 [[June 2009]], due to bad real estate investments and the financial crisis, the Miscreants declared bankruptcy and disbanded.

[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Or did they...?]]

[[Image:TapestryPickleMan.jpg|thumb|right|The Miscreants was an ancient order dating over a thousand years. In this lost scene from the Bayeux Tapestry, Christian's ancestor Geoffrey Weston the Feeble-Minded notes that he has been fooled by the "Man donning the Pickled Cucumber Suit."]]

{{Trolls}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Miscreants}}
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga]]

Women's rights

2018-04-11T20:40:07Z

Jackingura: /* In the comic */

{{Merge|Chris and gender}}
[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweetie. Now make me a sandwich, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

One would think that a person who socialises almost exclusively [[Gal pal|with women]] and refers to all men aside from himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "[[JERKS|jerks]]" would be very supportive of '''women's rights'''. In the case of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], however, one would be mistaken. Women's rights, at least in Chris's mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and the right of a woman not to be accused of having a [[pickle]].

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably took the concept from the character of [[Wikipedia:Mary_Poppins_(film)#Mrs._Banks|Mrs. Banks]], who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / [[Wikipedia:Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward]]'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what [[Wikipedia:Women's suffrage|women's suffrage]] is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

==Origin==
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|left|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
As stated, Chris's extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael in ''Mary Poppins'', a 1964 Disney film based on the book series by P. L. Travers. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, but there was a mass uprising of campaigns for women's franchise around this time, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the mother of the children and sings the second song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions prominent women's campaigner [[Wikipedia:Emmeline_Pankhurst|Emmeline Pankhurst]] being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!"</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and opportunities as men. Chris, however, takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck whenever they want.

==In the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying lots of sex, shopping, and cooking (not for themselves; they cook for the men). Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes specifically to wear for their significant other/crush. They have stereotypical female attributes which Chris clearly believes are legitimate, such as them eating salad at McDonalds and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|squishing over male characters]], while being motivated only by the desire to [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|find a mate]] and please him with [[Sandy Rosechu|offspring]].

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] '''strip naked''' to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (during which [[Rosechu]] ''rapes'' Howell (she's supposed to be the hero)) and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]]. This scene also implies that women cannot vote in CWCville, because at one point, the Rosechus start singing the "votes for women" portion of the song "Step In Time". This brings up a sinister aspect of Chris's dictatorship over CWCville - he's passionate about batshit laws like making the consumption of [[Tobacky|tobacco]] punishable by imprisonment, yet the CWCville administration has never even considered voting rights for women (the United States have had equal voting rights for women since 1920). Considering how Chris tends to put women on a pedestal, you would think he would have addressed that already within ''Sonichu'' canon.

Despite their [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|phenomenal talent for fighting evil]], Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual objects]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as deus ex machina plot devices - occasionally leaving their role as irrelevant supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. Often, the female characters offer nothing of any substantial narrative value. [[Rosechu]] is seen more often being rescued from ''damsel-in-distress'' situations then actually being a competent hero.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the rights of women. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand that disclaimers like these make him appear to be a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite.]]

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[Chris and race|racist remarks]].
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], he states that he uses the female bathroom, and that there is "no going back for him", not realizing that he is blatantly intruding upon the privacy of the women present, and disregarding their feelings (which, undoubtedly, can be summed up as pure terror).

This delusion regarding females is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a completely passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women whom he thinks will take interest in his appearance, and who when in a relationship with him will look after him both financially and physically - essentially, a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]]. Rather than aiming to better himself, Chris is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit. When Chris claimed to have lost his virginity to a hooker in [[April 2012]], he also said, quite bluntly, ''"My future sweetheart will find out about it",'' giving off the impression that whoever hooks up with him will just accept him sleeping with a prostitute right off the bat, and relegating the woman who finally took away his [[Virgin with rage|hated virginity]] to being nothing more than an organic [[Fapcup]]. This was proven true when in December 2014, he wrote this as a ''vow'' [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|on a card]] to his latest [[Trolls|sweetheart]], Catherine.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] – for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He even [[Mumble_7|supports the notion]] that it's okay to cheat on your spouse [[Chris_and_reality|as long as you have permission]], but he himself has shown nothing but utter contempt towards [[JERKS|anybody he deems a threat to his relationships]]. In a nutshell, this means that it's okay for ''him'' to sleep around just as long as he tells his girlfriend about it, but not okay for any sweetheart to do the same to him.

When confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref> When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening to kill them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and doesn't think portraying women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is offensive or damaging.

It seems that in recent years, Chris has gotten even more demanding and aggressive in his attitude towards women. Read [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this E-mail to Catherine]] leaked in 2014, where Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (''[[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|big surprise]]''), where he basically insults the woman and blatantly ''claims that he's entitled to her'', right before whining about how depressed he is. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was [[I_Love_You,_Catherine|abusing her friends and telling her what she can and can't do]].
== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Women's rights

2018-04-11T20:33:04Z

Jackingura: /* In the comic */

{{Merge|Chris and gender}}
[[File:SchuComic8P58.jpg|thumb|Sure, sweetie. Now make me a sandwich, would ya?]]
[[Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|thumb|Chris giving the thumbs up (and two fingers) to women's rights.]]
{{quote|Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the Women's Rights, For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.|Self-description<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>}}

One would think that a person who socialises almost exclusively [[Gal pal|with women]] and refers to all men aside from himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]] as "[[JERKS|jerks]]" would be very supportive of '''women's rights'''. In the case of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], however, one would be mistaken. Women's rights, at least in Chris's mind, refer to the right of women to strip without interference, and the right of a woman not to be accused of having a [[pickle]].

Given his admitted love of the [[Pre-1980#1960s|1964]] classic ''[[Mary Poppins]]'', he presumably took the concept from the character of [[Wikipedia:Mary_Poppins_(film)#Mrs._Banks|Mrs. Banks]], who is a suffragette in 1910 London.<ref>Lyrics from "The Life I Lead": "It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / [[Wikipedia:Edward VII of the United Kingdom|King Edward]]'s on the throne / It's the age of men!"</ref> Of course, Chris wouldn't have the first idea of what [[Wikipedia:Women's suffrage|women's suffrage]] is, let alone the impact it had on world history, and why it was being shown in the movie in the first place.

==Origin==
[[Image:Ss03.jpg|thumb|left|Mrs. Banks, wearing the "Votes for Women" sash that Chris so blatantly misinterpreted.]]
As stated, Chris's extreme zeal for "women's rights" probably comes from Mrs. Banks, the mother of Jane and Michael in ''Mary Poppins'', a 1964 Disney film based on the book series by P. L. Travers. As the story is set in 1910 London, women did not yet have the right to vote, but there was a mass uprising of campaigns for women's franchise around this time, particularly from groups like the radical Suffragettes and the more moderate Suffragists. Mrs. Banks is the mother of the children and sings the second song, "Sister Suffragette", during which she mentions prominent women's campaigner [[Wikipedia:Emmeline_Pankhurst|Emmeline Pankhurst]] being arrested (again).<ref>"Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!"</ref>

Mrs. Banks and her friends were depicted as struggling for the greater cause of being treated as an equal, with the same rights and opportunities as men. Chris, however, takes it to mean they simply want to remove their clothes and fuck whenever they want.

==In the comic==
[[Image:SchuComic9P35.jpg|thumb|An example of Chris's disclaimers.]]
In the [[comics]], women are portrayed as only enjoying lots of sex, shopping, and cooking (not for themselves; they cook for the men). Similarly, when they go shopping, they buy clothes specifically to wear for their significant other/crush. They have stereotypical female attributes which Chris clearly believes are legitimate, such as them eating salad at McDonalds and [[Bionic the Hedgehog|squishing over male characters]], while being motivated only by the desire to [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|find a mate]] and please him with [[Sandy Rosechu|offspring]].

Chris's most prominent reference to women's rights occurs at the end of [[Episode 17]], in which the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] of [[CWCville]] '''strip naked''' to celebrate their victory over [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] (during which [[Rosechu]] ''rapes'' Howell (she's supposed to be the hero)) and assert their dominance over [[4-cent garbage.com]]. This scene also implies that women cannot vote in CWCville, because at one point, the Rosechus start singing the "votes for women" portion of the song "Step In Time". This brings up a sinister aspect of Chris's dictatorship over CWCville - he's passionate about batshit laws like making the consumption of [[Tobacky|tobacco]] punishable by imprisonment, yet the CWCville administration has never even considered voting rights for women (the United States have had equal voting rights for women since 1920). Considering how Chris tends to put women on a pedestal, you would think he would have addressed that already within ''Sonichu'' canon.

Despite their [[PVCC|phenomenal talent for fighting evil]], Chris depicts Rosechus as passive [[Sex toys|sexual objects]] for [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichus]]. Reflecting Chris's own distorted image of women, the Rosechus in his comics tend to exhibit a desire to engage in stereotypical behavior, with occasional aggressive sexual overtures. Women also tend to act as deus ex machina plot devices - occasionally leaving their role as irrelevant supporting characters to engage in acts of great bravery and heroism. Often, the female characters offer nothing of any substantial narrative value. [[Rosechu]] is seen more often being rescued from ''damsel-in-distress'' situations then actually being a competent hero.

It is obvious that Chris is ''aware'' of the idea that objectifying women is frowned upon; every time he makes his female characters use their feminine qualities (to put it altogether too mildly), he is quick to add a disclaimer that he respects the women for ''both'' their minds and bodies, and/or make the claim that the characters are doing it because they want to fight for the rights of women. However, due to his [[autism|mental block]], he fails to understand that disclaimers like these make him appear to be a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite.]]

==In real life==
[[File:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|thumb|left|[[Layla]] performs a woman's highest duty.]]
[[Image:RosechuTheIncredibleLioness.jpg|thumb|The very essence of femininity, according to Chris. How else are we supposed to interpret this?]]

Chris allows himself to be controlled by his own desires, and has soaked in all sorts of knowledge about women primarily from [[anime]], [[video games]], and in particular [[pornography]], which Chris considers "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref> He has had several problems realizing the difference between exaggerated stereotypes and the reality, as also evidenced by his [[Chris and race|racist remarks]].
During the [[Tomgirl Saga]], he states that he uses the female bathroom, and that there is "no going back for him", not realizing that he is blatantly intruding upon the privacy of the women present, and disregarding their feelings (which, undoubtedly, can be summed up as pure terror).

This delusion regarding females is painfully obvious in Chris's interaction with women during his [[Love Quest]]. Chris takes on a completely passive role in his attraction strategy, waiting to be approached by women whom he thinks will take interest in his appearance, and who when in a relationship with him will look after him both financially and physically - essentially, a [[Barbara Chandler|maternal figure]]. Rather than aiming to better himself, Chris is looking to be fulfilled and served by women. Rather than having the full potential to use their talents in society, women's rights are the rights of women to bring pleasure to men as Chris sees fit. When Chris claimed to have lost his virginity to a hooker in [[April 2012]], he also said, quite bluntly, ''"My future sweetheart will find out about it",'' giving off the impression that whoever hooks up with him will just accept him sleeping with a prostitute right off the bat, and relegating the woman who finally took away his [[Virgin with rage|hated virginity]] to being nothing more than an organic [[Fapcup]]. This was proven true when in December 2014, he wrote this as a ''vow'' [[Catherine#Leaked_Information|on a card]] to his latest [[Trolls|sweetheart]], Catherine.

Much of Chris's sexism in relationships is [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] – for example, he thought that if he was married to [[Ivy]] and was [[stress]]ed, he could go to a [[Zelina Rosechu|strip club]], but of course she could not; similarly, he suggested a MFF threesome with many of his sweethearts, but was horrified when Ivy suggested a [[Homos|MMF threesome]].<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref> He even [[Mumble_7|supports the notion]] that it's okay to cheat on your spouse [[Chris_and_reality|as long as you have permission]], but he himself has shown nothing but utter contempt towards [[JERKS|anybody he deems a threat to his relationships]]. In a nutshell, this means that it's okay for ''him'' to sleep around just as long as he tells his girlfriend about it, but not okay for any sweetheart to do the same to him.

When confronted with his sexism, Chris becomes extremely indignant and offended.<ref>[[White_knight_e-mails#September_2008_.E2.80.94_Chris_denies_being_fat_and_sexist]]</ref> When his sexism is pointed out, he gets upset and clarifies that he would never harm a woman (though he has no problem [[Death threats#Vivian Gee|threatening to kill them]]). Chris seems to be under the impression that "sexism" basically means "physical abuse", and doesn't think portraying women as sexual objects obsessed with shopping is offensive or damaging.

It seems that in recent years, Chris has gotten even more demanding and aggressive in his attitude towards women. Read [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|this E-mail to Catherine]] leaked in 2014, where Chris gets annoyed when Catherine says no to a relationship (''[[Sweetheart#Will_Chris_ever_have_a_Sweetheart.3F|big surprise]]''), where he basically insults the woman and blatantly ''claims that he's entitled to her'', right before whining about how depressed he is. He even goes on further to say that she should "appreciate the the hard work and effort I had put into US!!!", even though shortly before that he was [[I_Love_You,_Catherine|abusing her friends and telling her what she can and can't do]].
== Sources ==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1

2018-04-09T21:32:14Z

Jackingura: /* Transcript */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1''' is the first call between [[Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec]], which took place on 22 [[January 2010]].

==Summary==

Chris and Alec discuss the size and location of [[Asperpedia]] advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris tries to dictate the content of Alec's ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by telling him to tone down the amount of violence in the series. He also goes on to tell Alec to rename Asperchu's versions of the [[Chaotic Combo]] characters to the names created in [[Wikipedia:Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Alec questions how Chris can hold a [[copyright]] on [[Sonichu]] when Sonichu is in fact a [[Pokémon]], a derivative of another creator's copyrighted work, after which Chris jumps to change the subject to avoid admitting that Alec has a point. (Chris similarly avoids or ignores the obvious truth about his "original" characters in other conversations with Alec.) Alec also confronts Chris's ill-will towards Asperchu and Alec himself by bringing up the pages of ''Sonichu'' #10 where Chris drew his super-form breaking into Alec's house and destroying his website and computer. Chris retaliates by saying that Alec's killing of Chris's fictional characters in ''Asperchu'' justifies his fantasies of committing destruction of property and theft. Chris becomes increasingly [[stress]]ed out as the call goes on and eventually hangs up on Alec, claiming that his phone's battery is running low.
{{clear}}

==Call 1==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|JGL7tFwm030}}
| stardate = 22 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]
}} </center>

===Transcript ===

'''Alec''': Hi, is this... is this, uh, Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Chris''': Yeah, this is Christian, may I help you?

'''Alec''': Hi Chris, um... this is Alec Benson Leary. Is it o- Is it okay if we talk?

'''Chris''': Oh yes. Uh... Sure. Yes. So uh...

'''Alec''': Okay. Good. Well, uh, there's a couple of things I wanted to talk about tonight. Um, first of all, uh... Well I understand you've got a... you've got a problem with the ads that are on [[CWCipedia]]? Can you... Can you tell me a little bit more about um... I kinda want to have, you know, get a compromise and- and settle this 'cause... 'cause I don't... I don't want anybody to be angry.

'''Chris''': Okay, well, um... yeah. I'll let you have your ads on the CWCipedia but don't make them too big, and uh, leave 'em in the side bar.

'''Alec''': Okay... um...

'''Chris''': [''Interrupts''] I don't want- I don't want- I do not want them in- I do not want them c... c... covering over... the introductory box or any- or anything else where I have to scroll down even to edit the pages. Or even to log in.

'''Alec''': Okay, um. Well I understand-

'''Chris''': So- so Okay cool. Just keep your ads on the sidebar.

'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, my friend [[Asperchu|Mao]], he um, he actually makes the ads for me. I- I didn't make them myself but um, I can try to talk to him about that? Um, about the size.

'''Chris''': Okay. Alright.

'''Alec''': As for like, where on the CWCipedia they are, um... I don't know if Mao controls that or not, I don't think he does. I think... I'm not sure what controls like where the adspace goes, y'know, on the website itself. I mean, I'll talk to Mao about it but I'm not sure if he controls that either.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

'''Alec''': Yeah like, I can talk to him, so. But you might want to talk to your web manager or whatever, 'cause... 'cause they set up the way the adspace goes, you know?

'''Chris''': Yeah, and also, just uh, just one more concern of mine upon- uh, yeah, I've uh, read your pages on the ''Asperchu'' comic. But the-and the recent pages, what do you think you're doing- what do you think you- what do you think you're parodying, ''[[Wikipedia:Happy Tree Friends|Happy Tree Friends]]''?

'''Alec''': Um... W... What- ''Happy Tree Friends''? What's that?

'''Chris''': [''Sighs''] It's supposed to be like a happy [[Honest Content|TV-Y]] show, but it's actually- it's actually adult and dark humor because they go into cut-slashing all the cute characters up and uh, it's- well all the blood and gore and everything, and yet they make them come- th- they make them come back to life unharmed the very next episode, just to slice and duh- slice and dice 'em up again.

'''Alec''': Oh. Um, I've actually never heard of that series. Is that- What is, is that on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] or...

'''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] ye- yeah... no you can look it up on [[Netflix]].

'''Alec''': Oh.

'''Chris''': Yeah that's a good place. But anyway, yeah, blood and gore. Yeah, that's not a good way to go, especially when you kill, even con- even considerable facsimiles of my own characters in that sense, and in that detail.

'''Alec''': Well you know, um, I actually- I got a lot of uh, actually positive response from my fans when I did that, um... Because you know, some of my fans have, some of my fans have- [''trails off as Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, that's another thing. Yeah that's another thing. Encourage [[Fanbase|the fans that were originally my fans]] to come back to me. I would appreciate that.

'''Alec''': Uh, Well I, I mean, y-you know I-I-I tell my fans all about you all the time, Chris, because, you know, like I've told you in a lot of the letters I've written to you you were a big in- inspiration for me. But um, you know, I don't really know what to say to my- y'know, my fans as far as that goes, I mean... They uh, they love my comic. I mean, they love it. I get a lot, I get a lot of fanmail about it, I mean...

'''Chris''': Yeah, okay. Um, okay how about this, uh, just to make it equal, um, put an advertisement for the CWCipedia on uh- on the Asperpedia. About as much as the Asperpedia ads are on my CWCipedia.

'''Alec''': Um, well, uh, yeah, we might be able to work something out, you know. [''Chris continues to try and interrupt Alec.''] You'd probably want to contact Mao, 'cause he's my manager. He... he does all the, y'know, the grunt work on Asperpedia. Um, I-I'm not even sure, like what, like how selling the adspace works, but I'm sure he'd be willing to sell you some adspace on Asperpedia. We could definitely try to work something like that out.

'''Chris''': [''small sigh, in a whispered tone''] ''Yeah, so anyway, yes...'' Alright well- alright well, h- Mao and I can talk through e-mail.

'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah. Yeah 'cause, you can- I mean, I, like I said I don't know the details but I know adspace is up for purchase, so...

'''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. Alright, well then, we got it settled on- at least uh, your ads on my CWCipedia. And, uh, yeah, ease up on the- not so much blood and gore. And, uh, try to bring my fans- let my- take m- direct my- redirect my fans back to me.

'''Alec''': Um... well, uh, y-you know, uh... I-I'm trying to think of- of a- a good way to say this, but you know, i- i- we are- we are in kind of a, like a- a friendly competition if you will. I mean, we're, y'know, we're- we're both [[Chris and Art|artists]], kind of, y'- i- I mean, I don- I don't really- I-I mean, it doesn't really make sense for an artist to say to his fans, "Hey, hey guys, don't, uh, don't follow me anymore, go back to, y'know, this other artist." I mean, I mean, wo- would you do that to- for your fans? Would you say, "Hey, hey fans, go- go talk to Alec," or "go watch Alec's cartoon," or anyone else's cartoon, really? No, you want- you want the fans to follow you, right?

'''Chris''': Um. Okay, um. Okay, yeah, I can understand that. Um, okay, um.

'''Alec''': Yeah, Mm-hmm.

'''Chris''': Well since, well since you and I are on- are on okay, agreeing mutua- ah- uh- okay talking tones right now...

'''Alec''': Mmm-hmm?

'''Chris''':... how about I, uh, how about I just, uh, re- how 'bout I just, uh, remove all the bad talk I have- I have against you, and then start- and then start saying that, I- that you're- that you're ''okayyy'', that your- your- your s- your- your co- your, uh, comics are okaaaay, that- and uh, you know, you- ah- y'know, but still saying like, you know, I would appreciate it if you would stay being my fans, but, y'know, if you want to go look at, uh, your w- go look at his work and- that's fine I can't stop you there, but y'know, [''Alec tries to interject.''] [''stuttering''] I think you asked- I think you asked me long ti-

'''Alec''': Well actually, I'm glad that you're- I'm glad that you're bringing this up 'cause, um, uh, y- I do say we're on friendly terms right now and I'd like to keep it that way because, your- you know, I- I- I got my start because of you, um, but to be- to be honest, I want to be honest and frank, y-uh, with you.

'''Chris''': Mm. Mm.

'''Alec''': Um, you made a couple of videos. And I don't- I don't watch all your videos but I-I do try to keep up, I mean I spent a lot of time drawing comics, so I don't have a lot of time to, y'know, watch videos anymore but um, I saw a couple of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|videos]] where you, uh, you actually threatened me with uh, y'know, physical puni...

'''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Umm, yeah. Okay well...

'''Alec''': [''Trying to talk''] And that didn't make me feel-

'''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] I was uh, I was, well I was more aaangry back then because it was an immediate, uh, response, but now things have settled down and we're talking okay. [''Alec attempts to speak''] I can- I'll make- I can make a new video jus' saying like, you know, I apologize for those threats, and uh, that things are okay here.

'''Alec''': Okay and, and about uh, you um- also the video where you, uh... you wanted [[Patti Chandler|your- your dog]] to eat me, or something like that, you- you- your dog to eat my soul, I mean that- I- I- Like, the [[death threats]] were kind of scary to begin with, but that, that was just disturbing, Chris, I- [''trails off'']

'''Chris''': Mm, yeah, okay, okay yeah, well I'll- okay, well I- I'll take- I'll take that back as well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec''': Okay, and, and um, that- that kind of leads me into another point, um you, you're under the impression that, um... that I was, that I was besmirching your dog in my comic, and I'm not really sure what you mean by that. ['''Chris''' ''interrupts: Well, you're j- I- It's just tha-''] Could you explain to me?

'''Chris''': Okay well, the villain, the dog- the dog in your comic, i- it looks simila- it looks similar to my dog, especially around the green neckerchief and, uh, other parts that are green on that dog. ['''Alec''': ''Well, I mean, y'know, Chris, that's just...''] And the, and the shape of the dog, just looks like my dog.

'''Alec''': Well it's just a-a lot of dogs look like that, Chris, I mean a lot of... it- i- i- it's just a neckerchief, I mean, y'know, it's just a little flair for the dog. That doesn't mean it's your dog. I- Y'know...

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I think- I think honestly you kind of make that, uh, assumption with a lot of my characters, 'cause it seems like you think that, um, a lot of my characters were y'know, like ripping off your characters, or- or even you yourself, because you said that Asperchu was...

'''Chris''': Yeah- Yeah, Buddha- Yeah, [[Obesity|Buddha belly]] and the [[Muscle bra|manboobs]] and the [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]...

'''Alec''': Well I mean, Chris, y- y'know, Asperchu is not a-

'''Chris''': Oh, and the [[Love quest|sweetheart search]] thing and the [[Crystal Weston Chandler|future daughter]].

'''Alec''': Well I mean, c- Asperchu's not a [[parody]], Chris, I mean he's an original creation, like...

'''Chris''': Okay... Uhhkay.

'''Alec''': You know, y'know, just because he has, y'know, the glasses, and the Buddha belly, and the- and- and the- the manboobs, and... and the goatee, you know, that doesn't make him a parody of you. I mean, that's... And y- and besides you said you had the past Budd-

'''Alec''': -I mean, how could it be a parody of you if, if your belly is in the past, and Asperchu has it currently?

'''Chris''': If I-if I, you, you mean if I, yeah, currently do not have the Buddha belly.

'''Alec''': Well, e- e- exactly, so Asperchu can't be a parody of you, right?

'''Chris''': Okay. Well...

'''Alec''': I mean, doesn't that- that makes sense to me, does it... doesn't that make sense to you?

'''Chris''': Okay, I s- yeah, that's fine. Umm...

'''Alec''': I mean, it's just a little- it seems- it seems a little [[naïve]] to- to think that, y'know, Asperchu and- and e- everything are parodies of your char- I mean- I mean, I do include some of your characters in the comic, and those- those- yeah. But my original characters are purely original. Asperchu... nothing about Asperchu is a parody. [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues''] And actually- actually, I'd kinda... I'd kinda like you to, uh... when you issue your retraction video to, to um, y'know, to let everyone know that Asperchu is original and is not a parody in any way. Or- Or if there- there- y'know, I- and- oh, and, and you did mention that I don't have a disclaimer on my comics, but uh, that made me think I should create a disclaimer and so I did, um, so- so if there are- are any elements that look parodic, that, y'know, I'm covered.

'''Chris''': Yeah, okay, yeah. And also, yeah, guh- you definitely do reference, uh, my [[Sonichu]] and my [[CWCville]] and especially the [[Chaotic Combo]] recently.

'''Alec''': Well as you said those weren't yours, though. You said those were copies. You said those were just, you know, copies of...

'''Chris''': Yeah- yeah- your- yeah- your versions just, uh- are just, facsim- are just recreational recreations- recreated facsimilies. [''Chris and Alec talk over each other.''] Um, okay so let's agree to that...

'''Alec''': [''Trying to speak''] Can I ask-can I ask you, uh, something then, about the Chaotic Combo and Sonichu? If those were just facsimiles, those weren't really yours...

'''Chris''': No they were- no, they were all- actually they were all mine. ['''Alec''': ''Okay, so they- so then-''] They were all- they were originally mine.

'''Alec''': But, the ones that I drew, are those facsimiles or are those not? You're confusing me.

'''Chris''': Uhh...okay well...

'''Alec''': Because you, in your, uhh... in your comic, you came and you took them away, in yo- in your recent pages of your comic. I mean you said in- you said in- in the comics that those were mine, but, you know, so they must be original, right? [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues''] You said in the comic they weren't the Chaotic Combo, so they must be original. But then you came and took them. I-I don't get- and you renamed them and re- restyled them.

'''Chris''': [''finally manages to break in''] Listen, listen, okay. The Chaotic Combo, in my comics, before- be- beh- appeared before book number 10, and [''stuttering''] originated in CWCville, Virginia, not in Minnesota, those are originally mine. But the ones that you re-drew and, uh, gay- and then, uh, made them different from what the- from how they originally were, in my comics, then that's definitely, totally- nnyeah, that- fax- dax- facsimilies. Carbon copies...

'''Alec''': Mine? Then, why did you take them?

'''Chris''': Okay, well I mean-okay number one-

'''Alec''': And not just the Combo, you tried to retake my Asperchu. And Asperchu wasn't, you know, a copy of anything. You- you renamed him [[Mitch Sonichu]]. I mean, Asperchu's mine. You- I don't really appreciate that.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': You know, you accuse me of thievery, but then you go and take- and try to take my Asperchu.

'''Chris''': Okay well you did- Okay well no- you did take my [[Sonichu]], and, uh, make him claim to be the original one, and you did claim orig- you did m- you did make it obvious in your comics where he was the h- where he was the original one, from the city of [[CWCville]], and even worse you made him brother to Asperchu, and uh, with the homosexual tendencies and whatnot, even when you redrew- even when you drew the, uh... when you drew the Chaotic Combo hedgehogs, you made [[Wild]] a [[Homos|homosexual]] even when he is not.

'''Alec''': Well, but Wild's- that Wild's not your's. What does it matter if- if my Wild's gay? I mean, I felt it was- felt it was depth to the character, I was just trying to give them a little personality. An- An- And the homosexual references, okay this is something that came up before...

'''Chris''': Okay well listen, okay well aside from the [''unintelligible''] Sonichu-

'''Alec''': Asperchu has a girlfriend, Dixie Chu.

'''Chris''': [''pause''] Um... No, actually, I read further in [[Asperchu/Background|the book]] and Dixie Chu dumped his ass.

'''Alec''': Eh- Well... C'mon, she doesn't- she doesn't- she doesn't- no, she doesn't mean that, she doesn't mean that. They're, they're destined to be together, Chris, I mean, you c- can't you see those undertones? I mean that's- that's where this whole comic is going. And besides, he's shown he's straight, I mean even if a girl does dump him, what does it matter? He... He went after a girl. He didn't go after a boy. Like you said, Sonichu is his brother, I mean, why would he... you know, even if he was gay why would he go for his brother? That's just- that's just sick. I mean, why would you think that?

'''Chris''': [''Sigh''] Yeah, anyway, oka- okay, well, i- in your comi- listen, how about this, in your comics, when you, uh, in the future, or in re-or in re-referencing the past pages, the, uh, Sonichu that is Asperchu's brother, you just refer to him as "Michael," and the Wild you'd refer to him as "Bobby", and the [[Angelica]], "Trisha," et cetera, just like I said in my pages. And "Mitch" can be Asperchu's nickname.

'''Alec''': But, Chris, those aren't really their characters' names. I mean, Bobby and- and Mitch and- and- and... I- I forget the other names, I- I- I think you renamed [[Bubbles]] "Kitty," something like that. I mean those aren't, those aren't their- their names. They have the same names as your Chaotic Combo.

'''Chris''': Okay but, okay but you see, when I gave the, c- the, uh, Chaotic chara- Chaotic Combo characters those names, originally, in my books, those would be their nick- those would be their nicknames, just, I mean- they're all Sonichus and Rosechus indivi- individually, but they're just of different types, like uh, you w- like, uh, without the nickname, Wild, he would be Grass Sonichu, Bubbles would be Water Rosechu, Flying Rosechu, [[Punchy|Fighting Sonichu]], [[Magi-chan|Psychic Sonichu]], et cetera...

'''Alec''': Okay, I- I understand what you're sayi- well see, there's- there's one of the- there's one of the differences, though, because in my comic, those are really their names. I mean, you know, Angelica, Punchy, Bubbles, Magi-chan...

'''Chris''': No no, you see- no, you see, in MY- y- y- y'see, in- but- the- but those are actually their names in MY book. In my book.

'''Alec''': Their nicknames, you said. In my comic they're their actual names. That's the difference.

'''Chris''': No, I'm- I'm talking in reference to the Pokémon game, you know, if you wanted to na- if you wanted to give- if you wanted to name your Bulbasaur, they call it giving it a nickname, but really it's just giving them their NAME. So, therefore, the grass Sonichu in my book is Wild, the water Rosechu in my books are Bubbles, et cetera, et cetera, so-

'''Alec''': Y- You know, Chris-

'''Chris''': I- It- It wou- It would work better if you just take the nickna- the uh, names I suggested for your var- for your variations of those characters and just reference to them as such.

'''Alec''': Chris, um, my characters aren't Pokémon, though. I don't draw Pokémon. That's not how it works in my comic.

'''Chris''': Y-yeah you have been drawing Pokémon, Sonichu is an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

'''Alec''': I- I thought he was a- a Sonichu, I mean... I thought that- I thought that was, like, a species...

'''Chris''': Sonichu is an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. If you read back in bo- in my [[Sonichu 0|Book Number Zero]], I re- I make it perfectly clear that Sonichu and Rosechu are Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

'''Alec''': Um, oh, okay. Um, well, I think the point of confusion there is, um, where their- like, I've never seen any Poké Balls in your comic, or- or trainers, or any of those other Pokémon elements, you know? Like, shouldn't they live in Poké Balls?

'''Chris''': Yes, there's a Poké Ball that specially catches Sonichus and Rosechus called the [[S-Chu Ball]], and there is- there is a reference to that within the books. The crystals were the [[Sonichu Ball]] crystals, before I decided to rename them Chaotic Crystals, and we do have a train- we have two trainers. [[Naitsirhc]] was a Pokémon trainer, he had a [[Zapdos]], he had a red Gyarados, he had a [[Mewtwo]]...

'''Alec''': Okay, but Chris, those are- those are like Zapdos, and Mewtwo, and Gyarados, I mean does anyone-Sonichu lives in a house, doesn't he, I mean he lives like a- like a person-

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, okay well you see, he was originally a wild Pokémon in the original Sonichu, but the original Rosechu was originally a [[Raichu]] that was caught and trained by the Pokémon trainer [[Kel|Kellie, Kel for short]].

'''Alec''': But, they live on their own now. I mean when they became Sonichu and Rosechu, they're- they're people, right? I mean they live like people, they have jobs like people. Sonichu has a job, doesn't he? I mean, what does he do?

'''Chris''': Yeah well you see, yeah, well, see- yeah, well, in that case, Kel wanted- Kel wanted to move on with her Pokémon trainer career, but Rosechu and Sonichu wanted to live happy, individual lives togedder, s-

'''Chris''': -so upon realizing that, Kel just let them go, just like [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash]] released his Butterfree so he can go mate with the pink Butterfree.<ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/EP021]</ref>

'''Alec''': Oh. Well I uh, I actually didn't know any of that. But I di-I digress, um, the point is-the point is that Asperchu and my version of the Chaotic Combo, all those characters, those are not Pokémon in my comics, I mean, Pokémon don't exist in the world of Asperchu. Because, you see, like Asperchu, he lives in his grandparent's house, he is a person.

'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, okay well my-

'''Alec''': [''overlapping''] My Sonichu is a person, my Chaotic Combo are people...

'''Chris''': Okay well, okay, alright, but that still makes it sound like my characters when you talk about THE Sonichu from CWCville...

'''Alec''': They're not your characters, we've established that. They're not yours, I mean, they're my characters. [''Trying to talk over Chris''] Original. My comic is not a parody.

'''Chris''': Okay, Sonichu and Rosechu, I actually have paper-registered copyrights on those so I COULD sue you, but I'm trying to resolve this peacefully.

'''Alec''': You have-okay, so you have the copyright-

'''Chris''': Yeah, look under the copyright section of the-on the CWCipedia. It actually has the scan of the paper from the Virginia Library of Congress as well as the envelope it came in.

'''Alec''': You have a copyright of Sonichu.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Alec''': But you said Sonichu's a Pokémon, right, I mean I'm pretty sure Nintendo has the copyright claim to Pokémon.

'''Chris''': Still, it's Sonichu.

'''Alec''': I mean, I might just wanna contact Nintendo just to make sure everything's okay, to make sure I'm not stepping on their toes.

'''Chris''': They have been contacted before, and everything's okay, you don't need to do that.

'''Alec''': But, I mean, well then, how can you hold the copyright to a Pokémon-

'''Chris''': The Virginia Library of Congress has allowed me-

'''Alec''': Well, the Virginia Library of Congress, you know, can't tell Nintendo what to do, they can't tell Nintendo to just hand over copyrights to their creations, to just anybody. I mean, you know, Nintendo could take the Virginia Library of Congress to court and say, hey wait a minute, you know, you issued this copyright illegally.

'''Chris''': [''Massive Stress Sigh'']

'''Alec''': It's just the Library of Congress.

'''Chris''': [''mumbling unintelligibly''] Okay look, let's just agree to uh, this is-what we're talking about right now just seems pointless to what we were originally talking about. Let's just agree that,uh-

'''Alec''': I don't think it's pointless, I mean I'm just trying to establish the... I mean you said you could sue me, I don't want to, you know, just let that go, I mean I don't want to get sued, nobody wants to get sued. I just don't understand how you could sue me-that's what I'm confused on, I mean, you're confusing me, Chris. I mean, call me naïve, but this is-I just don't get exactly what you're getting at.

'''Chris''': Okay well-okay yeah, I'm trying to prevent from having to go into the legal issues as well, so-

'''Alec''': Well I appreciate that, but I just don't understand how you have a legal ground to sue me, I mean, because Pokémon-

'''Chris''': -because I-because I do hold the copyright to Sonichu.

'''Alec''': But Sonichu's a Pokémon.

'''Chris''': [''flustered''] Look, let's just rewind, can we-can we-let's just rewind and go back to what we agreed on before, you know re-uh-readjusting the advertisement signs and uh, giving me, a possible CWCipedia ad on the Asperpedia, and, we just-let the Sonichu in your book be known as-be known as Michael Sonichu, as well as the other Sonichus and Rosechus of the Chaotic Combo, of my Chaotic Combo, let's just rename them the names I suggested in my book-

'''Alec''': Umm.

'''Chris''': In your book.

'''Alec''': Alright, like I said I'll talk to Mao about the ads; as far as the renaming goes, if you're-I guess you can make up some characters, Mike Sonichu, Mitch Sonichu and whatever, that's your comic book, if you want to create those characters that's fine. I mean, like I said I'm not going to rename my characters.

'''Chris''': [''Sigh'']

'''Alec''': And-and you know now that you bring this back to the table, another thing that kind of vexed me in your comic was that you as a, you as uh, [[Collosal Chan]]-was it Collosal Chan or Collosal Chu? I don't recall-

'''Chris''': It is Collosal-it is Collosal Chris-chan, that'd be me in my super form after releasing the seven Chaotic Crystals, or the "Sonichu Ball Crystals" as they are also known as.

'''Alec''': Okay. So Collosal Chris-chan and uh, Sonichu, and he was in his [[Ultra Sonichu|ultra form]], I think-you two came to, well first of all you saw the drawing of Asperchu's house and you mistook that as my house. Just to clarify, that's not my house, [[14 Branchland Court|I made up that house, that-that came out of nowhere, I just decided hey, you know, a big dull-looking happy house]], that'd be funny as Asperchu's home, but, but anyway, you thought it was my house and you came to what you thought was my house and you broke into my house and after breaking and entering-which is a crime, by the way-you proceeded to hack into my computer, and I think you deleted the entire Asperpedia website, and then you deleted all my files of Asperchu comics and everything else, and then I think you stole some [[Dating education|dating program]] or something that you thought was on my-I, I mean this is a multitude of crimes, Chris, that was criminal intent. I mean, why did you do that, you know, those are illegal acts.

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Alec''': You know, I mean, that's not a nice thing to do.

'''Chris''': [''defensively''] Yeah, well it wasn't very nice taking the Sonichu that was originally from CWCville, and then claiming him to be Asperchu's brother. [''burps''] Excuse me.

'''Alec''': Chris, I didn't show Asperchu breaking into Sonichu's house and destroying valuable documents on his computer. I mean this comic is going to be my lifeblood, this is my franchise, this is my multimedia empire I'm trying to build here, and you just destroyed it on a whim. I mean, why did you do that? I-I just don't get that. Asperchu ne-Asperchu has been nice to Sonichu since they've met, they've been friends and they've treated each other like brothers, and they fought battles side by side. I mean haven't you ever had a website hacked before? I have, it sucks, you know, do you know what it feels like to have your videos and computer hacked?

'''Chris''': I-I have, truly I have, and it was not very nice; I had the original Sonichu site, which was [[CWC's Sonichu Site]] simply, originally on the Tripod web server, hacked into by one [[Clyde Cash]].

'''Alec''': Well then you know how much it sucks, why would you do it to another person? I mean it's one thing if it never happened to you, if it never happened to you it's still bad but you can claim ignorance, but, but you-it happened to you, and then you turned around and did it to me. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|why the double standard, Chris]], why is it okay to hack into my computer and destroy my files?

'''Chris''': [''Groans, then sighs''] [[Autism|Okay I'm gonna go ahead and- cause you gave me permission to call you, and I'm going to call you, naï-]] [''static cuts off Chris before he completes the word 'naïve' '']

'''Alec''': Chris, you're cutting off.

'''Chris''': Because I have-I have tried to explain to you as clearly as possible, in my own best words I could come up with, that I'm getting tired of this long, drawn-out conversation, that obviously you're just too naïve to understand! Think about it! Think long and hard-read all my comic pages, from [[Sonichu 0|book number zero]] to the last-to the current page-

'''Alec''': ...help me understand why you threatened me in videos and-and drew yourself breaking into my house and committing multiple felonies. That's what I'm asking an explanation for, I mean the ads, and the naming issue, we settled that, this is a new issue and I'm trying to talk it out with you.

'''Chris''': Okay, yeah okay, well you referenced the Sonichu in your book to be the one from CWCville, and then making him, without my permission, Asperchu's brother. And then without my permission, you took the-

'''Chris''': -you recreated the Chaotic Combo, and then reformatted their personalities in more ways than one, without my permission! And then you go kill-and then you go kill off with blood and gore detail, and then your recreation of Angelica-the flyer, the grass, and the fighter, who are also known as Angelica, Wild, and Punchy! How do you think I feel about that, how would you like it if I went into blood and gory detail of slicing and dicing Jonas Chu, that green one, [''Alec tries to interrupt''] Jivin, and Max? I'm sorry, what?

'''Alec''': Oh, I just said the green one is, is Peter Chu. Um, okay, I understand why you're angry, but didn't we already establish that the characters I drew are not related to your Chaotic Combo? I mean, in your [[mailbag]], I've seen a lot of people have written to you about the Chaotic Combo, and, you know, other Asperchu similarities and things like that, and your response, almost always, is Alec Benson Leary and Asperchu have no relation to you whatsoever-

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] In reference to the business, as in like, you know, I actually never originally gave you or Mao permission to put the ads on the CWCipedia in the first place, especially in such large proportions where I had to scroll down to even edit the page or even to log in. But I never even gave you permission to put the ads in the introductory box, which is [[Chris and the law|a felony]] that [[Jack Thaddeus]] has violated before-

'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah that Jack guy, that's the name of the guy I know that Mao bought the adspace from. He told me. But um, as I understand the way the ads work is you know, if a website hosts, you know, public adspace that can be purchased for advertising, anybody can buy the rights to advertise.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I get that.

'''Alec''': Yeah, so I mean, how is that illegal that I purchased the adspace? And you said it was illegal, you said it was wrongful a number of times, I know you've used that word-

'''Chris''': Yeah. Because I was not in the loop about this...

'''Alec''': Well, that's between you and your web manager. You should be in the loop about it, I agree about that, you should be in the loop about it. But I can't be held responsible if you didn't get that information from your webmaster.

'''Chris''': [''Sigh''] Alright, well listen, the battery power on my phone is running low, perhaps we could talk again another time. You take care-you take care, stay safe, bye now.

'''Alec''': I'd like to talk-[''cuts off'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Alec Call 2]]|}}

== Sources ==
<references/>
=External Links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?7mwd23w3a7wdcv7 Audio download]
* <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNQNdjFES7o The call on YouTube]</s> Dead link as of the 25th of August 2015.
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGL7tFwm030 The call on YouTube] New working link as of the 24th of April 2016.
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Megan emails, 2005-2006

2018-04-09T17:56:06Z

Jackingura: /* Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park */

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between [[Megan]] and [[Chris]] between November [[2005]] and June [[2006]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in pink, Chris's in light blue.
==E-mails==
===Megan wants a ''Tintin'' episode===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 3:14 am 
Subject: quick!

Hey quick! Please go to ebay and type [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Tintin (TV series)|Tintin videos]]

There's a buy it now near the bottom. The episode is [[Wikipedia:Cigars of the Pharaoh|Cigars of the Pharoahs]]. it's $9.99 and shipping is 5.75

Please can you get this video for me? please hurry! thanks!}}

===Megan talks about meeting Chris on the park===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 8 November 2005 
Subject: Yes [[Wikipedia: Klonoa|Klonoa]]!

I don't mind being called [[Meg Griffin|Meg]], it's short 'n simple!

Luckily when I bought my USED copy of Klonoa it came with everything, but I just got some new printer ink, so I can go ahead and scan in the front and back for you!

How do you like the game? Beautiful isn't it? Now you see why I'm desperate to find the soundtrack!

Oh I think I have an extra jewel case to use too! So I'll work on that!

We'll discuss plans about sunday on friday. 
No offense but I never give my number out. It's certainly nothing directed at you but I just don't enjoy talking on the phone either. Besides we live like right down the street from the park so it's like 2 min away on bike!!

As for resteraunt ''[sic]'' thanks but no thank you, we'd have already eaten by then. I eat lunch early. But thank you very much for such a nice invite, I'm sorry to have to decline.

Thanks for going to bring the sleeves, I'll bring all my cards to see what I'll need.

Well let's hope the weather's fine on sunday,eh? 
See you on friday!! 
Megan}}

===Chris wants to date Megan at McDonald's===
{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sat, 3 Dec 2005 8:12:18 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Hi Hi, Meg.

I've just talked to [[Bob Chandler|my father]] about him coming one Friday. Currently, he's a bit under the weather. But if he feels better by this coming Friday, he'd like for us to get together at the [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] closest to the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game & Hobby place]] after the League-Play. I'll let you know for sure Friday.

Thank you for the drawings you gave me. For your island's name, I feel that, "[[Parody|Parodyse]] Island," is a slightly better name.

Everytime I see your drawings, I get inspired to want to work more on [[Sonichu (comic)|my comics]]. So, I'll be working more often on them; I hope you're still working on your Strawberry Pink story, because it fascinates me. ;8)

I'll talk to you again soon.

Stay Sweet;

Chris Chan.}}

===Don't kiss me, bro===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 20 Dec 2005
Subject: happy holidays

Hello!

Yes I did watch the musical and [[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue|John]] and I agreed we officially hate that bad-guy, we think he's kinda queer. I thought the ending was the best part. I like how Eternal [[Sailor Moon|Sailormoon]] came out. We should try and find the fourth season that includes my favorite villains the Amazoness Quartet. I heard they sing a lot with [[Sailor Moon Poster|Chibiusa]].

I love the first season of the [[anime]]. It's got that old mono sound quality to it. I like anime that sounds vintage. but of course the [[america]]n version re-did all the [[music]]...

Thank you again for such nice gifts! I wasn't expecting that!

Although I really don't mean to be cold but please don't try and advance on kissing me please. The truth is I don't want a boyfriend because I don't desire and idolize boys like other girls. I enjoy being independant ''[sic]''. So you see what I mean? It's certainly nothing personal towards you. I'm just ag irl who doesn't care about loving guys. That doesn't mean I can't be friends with them though.

Well since I bought models and been working on them I think the glue has made me ill, so in case I don't feel well enough to go on the computer I'll go ahead and say

I hope you have a Merry [[Christmas]] and the holidays go well for you. 
Megan 
ps no one in my family is [[autistic]]. uuuuh I feel ill I'm gonna take a nap watching sailormoon!}}

===Megan puts Chris in the [[friend zone]]===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 13 March 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Well that's easy, YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON! It's nice to have a good friend who can put up with me! ;) 
I'm looking forward to these photos. I'll do my best to explain them to you.

Anyway, well I see you as a really superb, kind and thoughtful understanding playful friend! Sorry to dissapoint ''[sic]'' you on love topics but I enjoy being an independant ''[sic]'' person. When your ''[sic]'' single you can have many guy friends. When you're not, boyfriends get suspicious about your other friends.

Thanks for understanding about the game. Hey, it's one less debt I gotta worry about!!! :))

I'll see ya later! 
~Megan}}

===Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 22 April 2006 
Subject: please forgive me...:(

''[Part of the mail is missing]''

third which is probably the worst case yet- 
I have kept this secret until John's birthday. I have been saving money to buy both John and I a [[Nintendo DS]] and a couple games. So I have a DS now. But PLEASE DON"T BE MAD...especially since I was fooling around with John's gamecube and saw some of the note...I didn't read all of it. Something like make sure I don't get a DS with Nintendogs? Were you planning to give one to me? I feel terrible. I [[Biological_clock|didn't get any sleep last night]] due to worrying about it.

I had a feeling you would have already spent your [[money]] on one for me. If so please, you may return it. I don't want to seem ungrateful but they are expensive and I just can't accept such a pricey gift from you. But if you can't return it or get any cash or credit from trade-in, well what can I say? I just don't know what to say. I feel rotten but I hope I'm not to blame. I didn't know. We BOTH didn't know. I hope you understand and I hope you are not [[angry]]. 
I am flattered and amazed you would go through such trouble, thank you friend! :)

Is there any way I can make it up? I'm [[Remorse|VERY DEEPLY SORRY]] Christian. PLEASE understand it. I hope I'm not at fault. I should have told you I got one a few days ago. I hope it isn't too late. But I thought it was right of me to tell the truth. I hate not being [[honest]]. I'm like a military dog- loyal to the end.

Well my DS is blue. I have Chihuahua game and Yoshi Touch n' Go 
For my brother he will get a silver DS with Lab game and Mario Kart, but my mom and aunt have helped me aquire ''[sic]'' them. 
Yoshi game is lovely and relaxing. A good bedtime game! ;) 
I like your yoshi game too. 
Hey I was wondering since we get ripped off at gamestores why not trade games with each other? 
I may have a few games I lost interest too. A couple from the Crash Bandicoot series and maybe some gameboy games. John has a couple [[Star Wars]] games for the gamecube he doesn't want. 
Do you have anything you don't play anymore? And hey maybe after a while we could always trade back if we miss our old games. I'm glad you liked my spoiled Shadow2 chao! He's a good boy!

Well I better send this email I hope you get it in time. And once again I'm very sorry. I don't feel like I'm a good friend but I'm being honest. I hope our friendship remains.

Thank you}}

===Megan has a thing for German soldiers===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 1 May 2006 
Subject: Re: Hi

Thanks, those photos will really mean a lot to me. I hope you can win them. Yes I found the games. They were in John's bag. As for July, I may be going out of state for a week or so. We usually do. Not yet sure though.

Well I got stuff to do as well so see you in a while. (Won't be coming this friday.)

Oh the reason I love German photos is cause they are stereotyped soldiers. None of the soldiers in those photos were actual Nazi soldiers. And it offends me when people say "Oh Germans are all a bunch of Nazis" Gee thanks I'm German too. 
Plus they are private and personal photos and I think they are all special. You wonder if any of them are alive still. 
Please do your best to win them. If you can win them I'll stay away from [[ebay]] for 2-3 months if you'd like. 
Keep this between you and me but I find many of those soldiers unbearably handsome. They have really fair pretty faces. *Ahem* ANYway you didn't hear that from me!

talk to you later 
~Megan}}

===Megan likes friendship but dislikes touchy/feely situations===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 3 May 2006 
Subject: Thank you!

Ok first of all THANK YOU for getting that lot! Please show that loser what your ''[sic]'' made of on the other 3!! Thank you! I hope steady payments will be ok? Did you inform the dealer that you may win others? So he can combine shipping?

Second of all the term I used "I'm not the one for you" Has absolutely NOTHING to do with YOU. That term refers to ME. And the reason for being is because I have no desire nor do I care to have a boyfriend, period. Even if he were the most gorgeous soldier on the planet. I just don't care. And perhaps I was meant to not like "love". Actually I have more enjoyment when I'm by myself. I don't ever feel lonely. So the term means, I wouldn't be good in a relationship because I'm not one to frantically dial the phone hoping for date. I'm a loner kind of person and that's the way I was born. I'm sorry again you feel that way. But you know me, I gotta be 100% [[honest]].

So in other words: you're NOT a loser, I'm not saying I don't like you. I just don't care for guys in that kind of relationship matter. But that doesn't mean I don't care period. I care because we are friends. And I prefer to have guys only as friends because they are good companions and comrades. I never cared about having a boyfriend, I doubt I will.

I like being the way I am, and I don't want to be like the others. Yeah that's a good way to say it. I want to be as different from people as I can. I hear girls saying how they wanna get married/have kids and stuff like that, but not me! I wanna be free from marriage and have my own life with myself. I absolutely LOVE being by myself for some reason, but again that doesn't mean I hate being around you or other friends, ok?

So I hope you understand that now. And maybe you know now why I don't like touchy/feely situations. BUT I ENJOY BEING FRIENDS!!

In conclusion, having a any kind of boyfriend is just not in my system. My goofy cousins just don't understand why I'm not married or dating. They're both married but I think deep down they admire me for being that adament ''[sic]'' about it. Somehow I get the same feeling from you? You admire my rougeness and toughness?

Well I hope you feel better after you read this. But hey, isn't it better to tell you now BEFORE anything has happened? Unlike that [[Hanna|*excuse me* Bitch]] you drew in your [[Scrapbook_of_Fail|book]] who was pranking you? Girls like that deserve my wrath!

I'll talk to you later 
I hope you feel better 
~Megan}}

===Chris wants her number===

{{quotebox|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Sun, 7 May 2006 2:03:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey, Meg-Chan.

Hey, no worries about the park meeting yesterday; I enjoyed watching the [[duck]]s and the fish. I've also talked to some of the ducks... have I done my [[Donald Duck impersonation|"Donald Duck" imitation]] for you? [[Pedofork|And the children that passed by were fun to watch as well.]] I'd love to ride the train with you. :)

I plan on working on my room as well this week.

I'll jump in on the 87-photo lot tonight at about 7:45...wait till the last minute... and punch in my max. bid. I'll let you know about the monetary total after winning the photos for you. ;)

That's funny you've bought [[Wikipedia:Super Princess Peach|Super Princess Peach]]; so did I, and I am enjoying it as well. I'll send you a list of the games of your selected systems in my next E-Mail in a MSExcel file. I'll bold the ones I'd be willing to trade/give to you; you can print it for yourself and highlight the one's you'd like (I've misplaced the list with your underlines... I'm sorry).

Megan, I'd feel much better if I could converse with you about these situations vocally (than written), because I feel a bit of tension from waiting a day or two for your reply. And I feel that our points would come across between us more effectively. I understand that you don't like to "waste time on the phone," but how often do you receive calls at your house or cell from anyone other than telemarketers? So, could I get your phone number, please?

I know that I've given you mine a few times, so you have that.

Love, with you always in my mind and heart;

Chris Chan.}}

===Megan tells Chris to think of her as Knuckles===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: CWCSonichu@aol.comt 
Sent: 22 May 2006 
Subject: Hey

Hey! Ok, maybe I should get this off my chest first-

Well I like us being [[Gal_pal|friends]] but please understand that I wish for no [[Sweetheart|deeper relationship]]. I just don't care or have that desire for a boyfriend no matter who he is ok? 
And to be honest I felt awkward on how you all of sudden said you wanted to come to my house. Lemme just say this- You should think of me as [[Knuckles]]! I'm the kind of person who although is a loyal friend- I can only take so much friendly meetings. You know how Knuckles will hang around a bit but then take off once again. I'm like that. Hanging out on fridays is really the most I can do. I know that probably doesn't seem fair to you but you are a different person with your own [[autism|different needs]]. I'm my own person with my own different needs- or should I say unwanted needs! ;) So please could we put off park meetings for a while? Pretty please with a Yoshi Berry on top! :D And also please give me a little more space at the [[The_GAMe_PLACe|store]]. I don't always like having a second shadow while looking at stuff. DO NOT take this as an insult- you have no idea how many times I have to bark at John sometimes!! 
So from now on I'd like a little time alone looking at models that will never come in and then I'll come to the middle and [[Card_games|play]]! I love playing now since I made a new refreshing deck! Speaking of decks, Print out that email you sent me about your [[Yugioh]] deck cause John has more knowledge about it then ''[sic]'' me. John helped me with all my yugioh stuff!

Ok, moving from that "depressing" subject! I think I see the [[music]] problem! When you download, are all the bands separated by genre? If so then Stryper and Holy Soldier are more then ''[sic]'' likely located in the Christian section. (no pun intended-as I rudely burst out laughing! forgive me!) 
Yes Stryper is a "[[Chris_and_religion|religious]]" band but I don't think they are extreme. You know how they say people change depending on the music they hear. Sure that's probably true for all the hoods that listen to that [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown|stupid loud violent rap]]. But I've had Stryper for several years and it hadn't turned me into a nun! 
As for Holy Soldier, they were probably put there just because of their name. I don't think their music is as Christ-ly as Stryper. Holy Soldier is however positive and anti-negative. For example one song explains "[[6_June_2010|drink and drive is suicide]]." 
Either way I think you'll like them. Which of the songs I reccomended ''[sic]'' did you like the most or least?

I love your mario [[Video_games|game]]- so does John! But I love playing the mini games better then ''[sic]'' the real game! Not to brag but I've beaten some of your high scores!! My favorite games are: 
The game where you find either Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi's face. 
Matching the Wiggler pattern! I love Wigglers!!! They are soooo oogy-woogy! Plus that baby music they play emphasizes that!

''[Part of the mail is missing]''}}

===Megan comments on Chris's photos===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com Cc: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
Sent: Mon, 5 Jun 2006 12:18 am 
Subject: My tour through CWCville

Hi! I'm leaving tomorrow so I have time for one more email!

I'm typing this and looking at the pics of your stuff at the same time!

Let's see what I see....

pic#1: I notice the [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Octan Octan] signs right away. John had several sets from that. Wow this is neat, I never combined my sets like that. I only have a few small ones.

pic#2: First of all you have the same window air cooling unit I have. I see [[Ghostbusters|Houndhowl]] hanging down! No offence but [[Chris's room|your room]] looks a little cluttered and messy. Sometime I'll be like [[Wikipedia:Brock (Pokémon)|Brock]] the super maid and get that place organized!!

pic#3: Is that a japanese temple I see!? I've NEVER seen that before! OH!! You have an Egyptian set!! With my lego hero!! [http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Thunder Johnny Thunder]!! I have a set with a sphinx.

pic#4: Neat [[Pokemon]] poster! Hey I see my german boys down below!! I wonder....did you do that on purpose so I'd notice? ;)

pic#5: your closeups are really professional. I wish my camera was that good, cause I'd give you pics of my anime collection!

pic#6: Interesting combo: [[No More Jokes|Spiderman]] and a [[Sonichu]] car...!

pic#7: Neat sign. Neat [[lego]] dude. I've always liked the heads with the shades.

pic#8: Nice [[America|patriotic]] scene you got going there. Like the flag too.

pic#9: Holy Wow it's CHRISTIAN!!

pic#10: Is that a plane? [[Chris and art|I can't really tell.]]

pic#11: [[Jerkops|Cool cops]]! Look it's your [[Nintendo|gamecube]]! Am I an animal? :D

pic#12: uuuh....wow. Sonichu and you. How did you make the heads?

pic#13: read above

pic#14: I'm guessing that's the mayor? [[Liquid Chris|Otherwise you've cloned yourself with different hair]]!

pic#15: blurry

pic#16: dark and scary

pic#17: A wee blurry. Who's the red one again?

pic#18: nice little cafe. Is that Johnny too I see?

pic#19: nevermind.....it's just a Johnny [[Ian Brandon Anderson|imposter]].

pic#20: I totally want those sharks! :D

pic#21: Can't make out the sign

pic#22: The infamous [[birthday]] hospital!!

pic#23: Who's the wierdo ''[sic]'' with blue arms?!

pic#24: AAAH There he is again!!

pic#25: I don't know these people. Fill me in

pic#26: What's going on?

pic#27: Wahahahaha!! Either Crazy Hand or Master Hand came to visit!!

pic#28: That's a dudey-dude!

pic#29: You ever dust them off? hahaha

pic#30: *coughcough*

pic#31: Nice truck *please dust me, please dust me!*

pic#32: He looks scary and mean

pic#33: The almighty......something

pic#34: Whoa! It's [[Homos|Prince Fagalot]], Batman, and the [[Bunny Hop|Easter Bunny]]! NO WAIT!!! It's Liberty Bell, Mange, and Harmony Bunny!!

pic#35: Post Office

pic#36: Please.....please dust that poor horsey

pic#37: Why is there a witch in the middle of a fuel station! Looks like someone died too.

pic#38: A Red Cross office?

pic#39: What's this little place?

pic#40: Hoooooly Craaaaap......[[Wikipedia:Star Wars|Obi Wan, Luke, and Qui-gon]] are at the freakin bank!!

pic#41: Is this a night scene? Nice special effects

pic#42: Hey I see some of the stuff I gave you! Omigod! I can't BELIEVE you have that Mewtwo picture still!! hehehe can't wait til my birthday! Just a little request. can you please wrap the pieces in toilet paper so the paint won't scuff up the other parts? know what I mean? Anyway that was a nice conclusion of my tour through your city!! Thank you! JUST KIDDING!!! I already have my own plush of him!

picture of you, sonichu and [[rosechu]].: Wow this part of your room looks clean!! Oh wait it's a hotel room. wahahaha!

I've got the full poop on that lego car!

[[Transformers]]! More than meets the eye! Tranformers! Megan-likes-[[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam|gundam]]-better-then-you-so goodbye!

Thanks for the pictures! I'll put them on my computer and use this cd to burn the tracks I have for you I meant to do a while ago. The English song and German song and others.

I'll talk to you when I have come back from my trip! Thanks again! Bye ~Megan}}

===Megan tells Chris to stop acting like a molester===

{{quoteboxred|−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: pearl3 <pearl3@velocitus.net> 
To: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
Sent: 10 June 2006 
Subject: Hey, I'm back

Yep, but we had to come back earlier cause the rain won't let up. So we may go back later in the summer. Oh and to start off I did NOT go to any [[Navy]] base. I was only being sarcastic towards Fredric-- (don't know how to spell that)

Thanks for all your [[emails]] though! Oh I came home yesterday afternoon. There wasn't much to say about it since it rained.

Anyway well! I'm glad there is a new possible [[Gal_pal|friend]] for you!! So let me begin by saying this however I mean no harm towards your feelings. It's flattering how said your heart would remain strong to me but I really wish it didn't. And here is why: I've told you many times I don't want a serious relationship with you or any other guy for that matter. And so you really need to "give up" on me cause it'll only make you miserable. The fact that a fan has showed up may be a sign. Y'see instead of spending all your energy looking for a [[girlfriend]], you should lay back, take it easy and open up. Then I think someone will show. You should try not to act so desperate. The way to "spell it out" and advertise yourself- passing girls may think it's strange behavior. Of course I understand your situation, but other people don't and they may think- please don't get upset- that you are some kind of lech or molester. I know your ''[sic]'' not, but you see where I'm coming from? 
So, please do not waste more thoughts on me, of course we are friends but [[Friend_zone|friends only]]. Please "detatch" ''[sic]'' yourself from me and see if anything happens between you and this girl and maybe her friends ok? My wish for you is to find your own someone for yourself. Me? I'm just a "heartbreaker"! 
But just to answer your weird question, I would prefer clean shaven men but don't get any ideas that, THAT would win me! ;) 
I don't mean to sound harsh but I am grateful that we are friends. If it wasn't for you, I may have never seen StarS and my collection would be the same dolls and few figurines. I must say I am entirely grateful that you have trusted me finacially ''[sic]'' on [[ebay]]! I'll try my best to pay the remaining payments as quickly as possible. Thanks for your trust and patience.

I was wondering, I stay off [[ebay]] for a while but if there is a little plush I want from Pokemoncenter can we order it? I'll look later to see if there is anything.

Well John wants me for something so I'll get back to you later!

See ya! 
~Megan}}

===Pinned against the wall===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 25 June 2006
Subject: an "angry" Megan?

Yeah, although I'm not angry at you, I'm a little dissapointed at your behavior. I'm really sorry this may sound harsh but it's the 100% truth about how I feel ok?

I know you know I "hate" guys and I hate love, cause I told you a million times ^^;!!

So why do you keep getting too close and touching me? I REALLY don't like it at all. I know you said cause you have feelings for me and it's hard for you. But (I'm sorry, this sounds mean) you really need to try and get over it. If you keep hanging on like that to someone who doesn't love you back.......well it'll only make you more miserable. You need to just accept the fact that I don't and will probably never love you so you should just take [[Stress sigh|a rejuvenating breath]] and move on.

Here's a secret, ONCE I actually "liked" someone and I spent a lot of unnesessary energy and time thinking about this person and trying to spend time with this person. But when I finally admitted to liking this guy, I was bluntly refused. I wasn't his "type". And he didn't even tell me that, I had to ask his friend! So when a guy doesn't like me, THAT'S IT!! I don't "like" them anymore! If I'm not his type to be close to, then I'm not his type to be friends with, an what do you know! The same person things I'm a freaky nazi thing! But don't EVER EVER EVVVVVVVER repeat that to me or anyone else ok? Although I was somewhat hurt I've soon gotten over it, you know I don't even think I really liked this guy in the first place! It's like....I was experimenting? Oh well he's not worth my time. >-<

So it was a fake love? Sometimes I don't understand myself. My mind and heart say two different things. But throughout my life I've trained myself to ignore feelings for a guy. I don't WANT a boyfriend and I won't give in! I won't allow it!! Of all the hair bands I love anti-love songs. Example: did you download Queensryche's I Don't Believe In Love? 
I don't. To be honest, I don't care for love. period.

Now I sound like [[Mary Lee Walsh|that lady villian you have]], but oh well, that's the real me. Also this is a secret I've hidden away for a long time cause everyone would think I really was a freak.

I only love animals. I love recieving affections from them and I love being with them. In other words, I love [[My Little Pony|animals]] more than [[Chris|humans]]. I absolutely HATE how people treat them and are cruel to them. Afterall animals were here on this planet first. And now look what we've done. We destroy their homes and destroy them. Animals that are endangered are all because of stupid humans. Their disgusting greed of taking their own fur!! It makes me SICK!!

Now you know the real me, but how do you like me now? When it comes to relationships, I'm a "dangerous" person. It seems I only [[Heart level|break hearts]]. So for your own sake, please try to get rid of the lovey feelings for me and we can [[Just Friends|just be friends]]. So PLEASE don't touch me anymore ok? I don't like it! And last wed you really had me pinned against the wall. Please give me more space.

Now that I've finally gotten THAT off my chest let's move on to more [[Fuzzy-wuzzies|happier thoughts]].
600??!! No way! I only have around 80! Even though they started in the 80's I don't think 600 were ever made! But I could be wrong. I only collect the newer ones that came out in the [[2000]]'s.

Sheesh, where do you keep your [[Transformers|transformers]]? Maybe you should hang some in the ceiling like there battling! Yeah I seem more like a Gemini. I have [[30 August 2009|split personalities]], there's the girly-my-little-pony-shoujo-anime-lover-plushie side of me then there's the cold-war-monger-gi joe-german soldier-militaria side of me.

Yes I've heard that opposites attract, but also....doesn't a negative and a positive make a negative?

Oh yeah, before I decide to write a letter, why does [[Bob|your father]] doubt my residing in Staunton in the first place and why would he care anyway? I feel wierd about the whole thing in any case. Cause I mean, when you look at it, where I live has nothing to do with him and OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED!!!! We no longer get mail at our house due to past events I wish not to explain. Our P.O Box is in Fishersville. So whether or not I write a letter, it wouldn't satisfy him! jeeeeez....

Well I'm hungry now so I'll leave it at that
If your feelings are hurt, I'm really sorry, but perhaps you take that opportunity to [[Masturbate|release your feelings for me]] and start a-new.}}

===Megan sends Chris some more mixed signals===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 15 July 2006
Subject: yeah

Jeez....what kinda question is that? I honestly have NO idea!! You can't change your looks unless it's plastic surgery or something. I'm not the one you need to ask. I really don't know what you should do, you should sit down and try to think it out for yourself.

Also I'm just a little mad that I have to keep telling you to PLEASE stop touching me! It's like you're not wanting to listen to me! I tell you, then you say ok, but eventually you're back to the same tricks, and this time I really MEAN IT!! Even my other friends don't like it and think it's weird. So once and for all could you PLEASE STOP? You KNOW I don't like it so why do you keep doing it? It's not like you're gonna try and soften me or something.

So, I don't wanna have to tell you again or I might get really angry. Cause you know unwanted remarks, or advances to a girl is Sexual Harassment and I don't take that lightly. Ok? So can you understand now?

Anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you. Like Sailormoon for example. The only Sailormoon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it. Kinda like My Little Pony. That kind of thing really annoys me. If you ever see any Sailormoon game for DS, please let me buy that first. Remember the first ebay purchase was that Sailormoon Super Best CD? It really hurt me when I found out you went ahead and listened to it!! If I ever purchase a game or cd from ebay in the future....please....let me listen or play it first. It hurts my feelings when I'm buying something and you go ahead and beat it first or something. Even though you are buying it....still I'm paying you back for it when you jump right in on it, it hurts me and ruins the whole fun for me. It's like, "what's the point since you already beaten it?"

Going back to "are you copying me" I don't like it much when people get into something RIGHT AFTER they find out I liked it first. When you said we had a lot in common like Sailormoon and My Little Pony, well who Loved Sailormoon first? Who collected My Little Pony first? Ok, I know I sound like a spoiled brat but can you see what I'm trying to say? 
I don't like being too in common with others, I try to be different from others as possible. I personally don't like Pretty Cure that much. Mostly the reason is cause YOU liked it first. And out of respect I decide not to get into it cause to me, Pretty Cure is YOUR thing like Sailormoon and My Little Pony should be MY thing, you know? 
I even remind myself to not tell of my other series I love cause I'm afraid the next day, you'll have everything there is to get from that. So if I ever order something that's something you don't really know about, then just "hand it over casually" like you didn't even see it.

So I just wanted to make these points clear and usually sounding mean like that is the only way for me to get them across. ''[Some of the email is missing here]''

Ok, first of all, I don't remember saying I DID choose him over you, if you have the email saying I did, send it please......I can't ever remember a conversation. >-<;

Second of all.....brace yourself, this may sound blunt and harsh. But shouldn't it be MY decision? When you sent the email saying you were gonna send a freak-out message saying "just how friendly were you" You make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of "friendly" to someone. And I felt rather disappointed about those remarks. Besides he was really the FIRST guy to ever pay any notice to me. Not that I was trying to find attention, he just came up to me.

Also I secretly DID give you a chance, I always secretly "test" someone I'm making friends with. Just making someone happy isn't the ONLY thing I test, but my vibes and body chemicals whatever-you-call-em just don't feel anything around you. You know? It's also about the vibes and chemistry. Even though someone can just be a bestest nicest always do things for you kind of person, you don't always actually love them, and that's how I feel about you or rather don't feel about you. 
And you already KNOW I don't love you so why make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over? So please if you really want to make me happy....please....let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life ok? 
Besides even IF I had a boyfriend, what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you? I'm not that kind of person who'd say... "well, I have a boyfriend now so see ya!" No, I'm not that kind of bitchy girl.

Also you don't even KNOW this guy so why do you say he can take care of himself? Afterall YOU'RE not the one who may have to answer the call of duty and head off to war. And I think he would need MORE emotional support. You're just losing love......he could lose his life. His death wouldn't be in vain but it's still a fallen soldier.

So there you go. I'm sorry you feel all depressed but that's just how it is. Stop saying ALL the girls are paired up, you can't prove that and those girls CHOSE to be with who they're with. 
So no matter what happens I'm not gonna drop all contact with you ok?

Now as promised here is my list of ponies! I love them all! 
ponies! ponies! ponies!}}

===Megan calls Chris out===

{{quoteboxred|From: pearl3 
Sent: 7 Aug 2006
Subject: hey

Ok thanks.

You know I haven't talked to this person in a year. I'm not really wanting to get together with him either. Boyfriends aren't for me. Don't want em, don't need em.
However I can't say I like how you call him a lucky "jerk"
Why is he a jerk? Why do you call ALL guys that?
Because they "Take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from?"
Hate to be blunt but that's a pathetic way to think!
You don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend! The thing is, the guys didn't take all the girls.....the girls just didn't choose you. Quit blaming other men! Girls chose who their boyfriend was too!
You should know, that girl Soshii loves has a boyfriend. But does he hate Night or other guys?

Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend doesn't give you the right to HATE ALL MEN!! It's not THEIR fault! The world doesn't revolve around you. And keeping this grudge will really get you nowhere.

Personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like. All you say is you want a "pretty girl". Well it's the INSIDE that counts! Afterall, a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan, meanwhile an "ugly" girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you?

I often wonder:
If I was an ugly girl, you wouldn't even come near me would you?

Which also makes me bring up something else. During the tag team, you yelled how you didn't want to pair up with a beginner! Did it even occur to you how many little kids' feelings you just shattered?
And so if I was a beginner, would you say that to me as well? Or would you just pair up anyway cause I happen to be a GIRL?
Your insults and hatred towards other guys can offend me cause it offends my brother!

Well sorry all that sounds mean, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
I remember seeing a letter posted by you in [[Shoujo Beat]]. Then a couple issues later there was a reply to that. Did you see that? Well that girl is absolutely right!!

Ugh...hungry}}

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:20051220-Meg-Hglght.png
Image:Megan 06-04-22.PNG
Image:Megan 06-06-25-2.PNG
Image:Megan 06-05-01.PNG
Image:Megan 06-08-07.PNG
</gallery></center>

{{MeganSaga}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Megan Saga]]

Common Questions

2018-04-03T22:40:15Z

Jackingura: /* 31 December 2009 */

In late [[December 2009]], the [[CWCipedia]] [[Mailbag|Mailbags]] gained a new subsection, a series of short questions allegedly asked by many people who had written to Chris. Chris was surprisingly diligent about answering all of these '''Common Questions''' (normal people would call them "Frequently Asked Questions" - "FAQ") with every new Mailbag. The answers, unsurprisingly, were erratic at best. Sometimes Chris provided [[Honest Content|far too much information]], and other times he would provide a single word in response when a longer answer would have been expected. On occasion, he would change the text in the question itself to suit his needs, a practice of editing he'd been using in the mailbags since day one.

All of his answers have been compiled here, arranged by the date on which he answered them.

==28 December 2009==

*'''Q: Have you ever read any books on how to go about creating [[art]]? e.g. [[Wikipedia:Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain|Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain]], [[Wikipedia:The Elements of Style|The Elements of Style]], How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, [[Mailbag 26#In which Chris's brain starts to work!|On Writing]], or things like internet tutorials?'''
::A: [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|I have read such books]], and I have taken many [[art]]s classes too.

*'''Q: If you were a director [[A CWC Audition|in Hollywood]], what kinds of films would you make?'''
::A: Action/Steamy ([[Chris and English|Striaght]]) Romance

*'''Q: You said you read [[R.L. Stine]] books when you were in high school. What kind of books do you read now? "Literary" fiction? Genre, like mystery or horror or science fiction? Nonfiction?'''
::A: I read less books now, although the last book I read was [[Wikipedia:Pamela Anderson|Pamela Anderson]]'s Star.

*'''Q: Have you considered creating non-Sonichu comics or stories?'''
::A: Yes, and the ideas are still in my head.

*'''Q: Have you ever accepted and used constructive criticism in your comics? Or do you blow off anything anyone says that is slightly negative, even if their intentions are to help you improve your art?'''
::A: I have accepted and used ideas and criticism one such example was the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Animations from YouTube User: Timmys1984]]; it was very good, yet the lines were wrong originally. At least I have set that record straight in my [[Sonichu 9|9th Book]].

*'''Q: Why do you steal jokes from so many other sources (i.e. [[Family Guy]] and [[Excel Saga]]) and put it in your comics? It isn't very original and you can't come up with an original concept if all the humor in your comics is stolen.'''
::A: Like Family Guy, [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]], Excel Saga, and even [[South Park]], taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. "[[wikipedia:Simpsons_Already_Did_It|Simpsons Did It]]."

*'''Q: Describe your artistic process. How do you get inspiration for ideas for your comics? What goes through your head when you draw and color your comics?'''
::A: I get the idea beforehand in random thought/imagination/dream, get pen and paper and write/draw it out. A lot goes through my head, and it is hard for me as a [[Chris and his Ego|creative genius]] to remember it all on-the-spot verbatim.

*'''Q: We all know you have [[autism]], but exactly what type do you have? There are multiple types on the spectrum.'''
::A: High-Functioning Autism.

*'''Q: What do you plan to do after you have found your true [[sweetheart]] and had your daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]?'''
::A: I will live my family life as I had dreamed and waited for happily.

*'''Q: What would you do if either of you turned out to be infertile?'''
::A: That is just plain stupid; I am VERY Fertile; Certified in the Medical Clinic, and I would make sure my woman has not hit Menopause yet.

*'''Q: What would you do if you found your sweetheart, fell in love with her, married her, but she could only give birth to male children?.'''
::A: It is a 50/50 chance among all women; I trust God to come through in his promise as he has told me before. I will keep trying though; I am not [[Wikipedia:Henry VIII of England|King Henry VIII]].

*'''Q: Aside from creating Sonichu and Rosechu and excluding your future accomplishment of getting a true sweetheart and having your daughter Crystal, what is your greatest accomplishment in life and why?'''
::A: Graduating [[Manchester_High_School|High School]] and [[College]]; I have learned a LOT and met the requirements; it's all good.

*'''Q: What are your top five priorities in life and why?'''
::A: 1) Good [[Health]] - Who wants to be ill or sick? 2) Happiness - I don't like being sad. 3) Love - I want to feel loved and appreciated by my closest ones. 4) Projects/Job - It gives me something to do. 5) [[Money]] - It does not make the world go around, but everyone wants it to feel like they are getting something out of a deal.

*'''Q: If you were made the absolute leader of the entire world for a day and your word was taken as law, what sorts of things would you do to make the world a better place?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|All Men and Women would be paired up in straight couples]], leaving none alone; any remaining will be saved for upcoming men/women respectively. All [[gays]] would be reprogrammed and encouraged to be straight.

*'''Q: What about fucking [[sex toys|sex dolls]], [[masturbating]], drawing [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|smut]]? Isn't this all forbidden for true Christians?'''
::A: It is not forbidden; that would be the Jews who are against those things, and I am not Jewish, and I respect them as [[Michael Snyder|individual people.]]

*'''Q: Contrary to what you stated in issue 8, the age of consent in most of the United States is BELOW 18 (17 or 16). What is your opinion on this?'''
::A: I understand that SOME states have that law, and I feel that it is good; [[Pedofork|it broadens the range by one or two years, so one would feel lest restricted]].

*'''Q: What would you say is the most romantic thing you have ever done with or to a woman?'''
::A: [[The Creepy Stare|Sensual, emotionally-linked eye-contact]].

*'''Q: We've been hearing about your creations becoming more and more popular amongst the gay community. What are your thoughts on this?'''
::A: Firstly, their perspectives of my work are flawed; they misunderstand some points, and I do not care for that at all; It is a STRAIGHT Comic; [[Homos]]exuality Lifestyle is HEAVILY DISCOURAGED and DETESTED. Second, I really feel hatred in them placing MY characters in their events WRONGFULLY, even in... [[It's UGH!|UGH!!!]]... pride parades and essays promoting their lifestyle. All of My [[Magi-Chan|Sonichus]] and [[Silvana|Rosechus]] Are Straight! And I Am Straight! DO NOT SAY OTHERWISE, Because It is Mislabeling; it is Very Wrong, and I DO NOT APPRECIATE IT AT ALL.

*'''Q: Do you plan to give an ending to Sonichu's story?'''
::A: [[Chris and reality|No]].

*'''Q: Do Sonichu and Rosechu have full names (that is, two-part names, like all other Sonichus and Rosechus)? If so, what are they?'''
::A: No, they are the very first Sonichu and Rosechu, so they do not have such names.

*'''Q: Will [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Eevails]], or possibly some other [[Tails]]-like creature, appear in your comic?'''
::A: No.

==31 December 2009==

*'''Q: What do you think about people harassing others over [[PlayStation]] home?'''
::A: I do not like it at all.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst movies you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: [[Homos|''Brokeback Mountain'']], [[Wikipedia:Borat|''Borat'']], [[Homos|''Bruno'']], [[Tomgirl Saga|''Crying Game'']], ''[[Wikipedia:Krull (film)|Krull]]''.

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst TV shows you have ever <s>seen</s> heard of and would never ever watch in your entire life?'''
::A: I am unsure.

''Note: Chris added the strikeouts himself.''

*'''Q: What are the 5 worst video games you have ever played?'''
::A: I am unsure.

*'''Q: What are the 5 best movies you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Mary Poppins]], All [[Transformers]] Movies, Both [[Ghostbusters|Ghostbuster]] Movies, [[Saw|All Saw Movies]], [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|The 40-Year Old Virgin]].

*'''Q: What are the 5 best TV shows you have ever seen?'''
::A: [[Transformers]] (ALL Seasons and Sets), [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] (All Shows), [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] (All Seasons), [[Wikipedia:Mythbusters|Mythbusters]], [[Filmation's Ghostbusters]] (Little Care for "The Real Ghostbusters"; Jake, Eddie and Tracy WERE THE [[Honest_Content#True_and_Honest,_HOnest_and_True|ORIGINAL]] REAL GHOSTBUSTERS).

*'''Q: What are the 5 best video games you have ever played?'''
::A: All [[Sonic|Sonic the Hedgehog Titles]], [[LittleBiGPlanet]] ([[PS3]] AND [[PSP]]), All [[Guitar Hero]] Titles, All [[Animal Crossing]] Titles, All Pok'emon Titles.

*'''Q: Have you read classic comics like: [[Wikipedia:A Contract With God|A Contract With God]], [[Wikipedia:Maus|Maus]], [[Wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]], or [[Wikipedia:The Sandman (Vertigo)|The Sandman]]?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: Could you mention any specific titles or series of comics you have read (besides Sonic the Hedgehog)?'''
::A: Superman, Spider-Man and the like.

*'''Q: What's your creative process like?'''
::A: [[Random]], Extensive, [[Autism|Tough to Comprehend]] sometimes...

*'''Q: How do you go about creating each comic--do you do storyboards or scriptwriting beforehand?'''
::A: Mental Storyboards and Scriptwriting, but I do write some of it out on paper.

*'''Q: How far in advance do you plan the story?'''
::A: About weeks to months in advance.

*'''Q: Besides Sonic, Pokemon, and your daily struggles, what inspires your writing and art?'''
::A: [[Things Chris has ripped off|Other shows, comics, video games]], and most importantly my [[Evan|Fans]]. :)

*'''Q: Did any specific comic book inspire you to create your own?'''
::A: I'd say the [[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (comics)|Sonic the Hedgehog Comic Book Series]]

*'''Q: Why comics as opposed to short stories/novels?'''
::A: I enjoy drawing, and I feel better with having pictures to associate the words with.

*'''Q: Would you ever consider getting a massage?'''
::A: Yes, from Women Only.

*'''Q: What is your purpose in life?'''
::A: Does anyone really know their own [[China|ONE TRUE purpose in life]]? We mostly are supposed to live one moment and day at a time as best we can to make us individually feel [[Love Quest|satisfied]] and at peace.

*'''Q: Do you believe in an afterlife?'''
::A: [[Chris and Religion#Afterlife|Yes]].

*'''Q: What do you think happens after we die?'''
::A: Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and [[Chris and Religion|possibly Reincarnation]].

==1 January 2010==

*'''Q: Where do you think you'll go after you die and why do you think that will be the case?'''
::A: I do my best and what I can to end up in [[Heaven]] , I do a lot of good deeds.

*'''Q: You follow the Bible rigorously and believe homosexuality will send you to Hell. However, the Bible says that having unmarried sex will send you to Hell as well. Explain your reasonings you choose to ignore God's word and not waiting until after marriage but instead "after the [[Third date|3rd date]]".'''
::A:Those more strict rules apply to the Jewish, especially the [[Wikipedia:Book of Leviticus|book of Leviticus]]. I am a Christian [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]], and as long as we feel comfortable and happy with our lives, if the Christian individual feels comfortable with [[Chris and sex|premarital sex]], then it is cool.

*'''Q: Can you justify your anti-homosexuality? How exactly?'''
::A: Yes; the Homos I have heard from try to push their damn lifestyle in my face, and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT AT ALL; What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it.

*'''Q: Why does [[Rosechu]] wear clothes while Sonichu does not? Additionally, why are [[Lolisa]], [[DJ Jamsta]], and Rosechu the only Sonichus and Rosechus who wear clothing?'''
::A: Well, Why does Cindy Bear not wear clothes? Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants yet Sonic and Donald Duck do not? Why does Daisy Duck wear ONLY a Top, yet Minnie Mouse wears a skirt? IT'S A CARTOON; WHO CARES?!

*'''Q: Are the [[Sonichu comics|''Sonichu'' comics]] still aimed at children? If so, what age group?'''
::A: Yes, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Ages 7 and Up]].

*'''Q: I am really interested in your [[Lego]] CWCville, could you please draw an elaborate map of it for me?'''
::A: One Day, I will draw a map, although it is similar to the City of Cwcville, VA.

==5 January 2010==

*'''Q: If Sonichu got published how much would each Issue cost?'''
::A: I'd estimate $2.25, given the current shelf-comic prices. But ON the [[PS3|Playstation Network]]'s Digital Comic Service, I'd estimate $0.99 or $1.99 per Digital Issue.

*'''Q: How often does Sonichu have to stop and take breaks when he's running?'''
::A: He only stops for a rescue, social life, [[Obesity|eating a chili dog, tacos or whatever he feels like chowin' down]], and to relax at home with [[Robbie Sonee|his family]].

*'''Q: [[Virginia]] lets you to [[Wikipedia:Cousin marriage law in the United States by state|marry your first cousin]], but doesn't allow [[gays]] to marry. Do you think cousin-marriage is better than gay marriage? Why or why not?'''
::A: [[Chris and anger|WHAT THE F***?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT C***PIEST OF HEINOUS LIES ABOUT VIRGINIA?!]] Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER! In comparison, both unholy marriages are equally terrible.

==7 January 2010==

*'''Q: You said that you confess your sins and pray every night. What sins do you confess?'''
::A: To name a couple: I apologize right after each time I say something like "God damn" (I'm sorry, God); I confess and apologize for, if any that day, angry responses to my own father after he starts an arguement or gets on my nerves.

*'''Q: What exactly happened when you were called into [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s office?'''
::A: That was one time I would rather not go into or recall. She raised her voice at me in harsh tones about how "You won't be getting any women" or "Your methods are flawed and stupid" and even "You are Stupid, Christian". I responded very angrily and verbally abused her back. Then I was kicked out for a year with Anger management and psychiatrist assistance.

*'''Q: Why do you randomly capitalize words when you type?'''
::A: I do not type in Caps at Random; I type those phrases or words in caps to EMPHASIZE MY POINT OR FACT.

*'''Q: When did you first realize that you hated the homos? Do your parents hate them as much as you do?'''
::A: I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a [[Lesbian]]." That, combined with my PAST dislike of [[JERKS|MEN]] in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE! And I will say this again, '''SONICHU IS STRAIGHT, YOU DUMBASS GAYWADS.'''

==9 January 2010==

*'''Q: What do you think of people of different faiths other than your own (this includes [[Wikipedia:Satanism|Satanism]],[[Wikipedia:Atheism|Atheism]], [[Wikipedia:Agnosticism|Agnosticism]])'''
::A: For most other religions, I am of neutral opinion and have no objections to them whatsoever. But for ALL those of Satanism and Atheism; I do not care for those Non-Religions AT ALL. [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|I will not discriminate]] the people of those Non-Religions as Individual People.

*'''Q: How do you feel about [[Homos|the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual community]]? do they deserve the same rights as anyone else?'''
::A: As individual people, they all deserve Most Rights, but GAY MARRIAGE Should be made Illegal ALL Countries; Marriage is ONLY for Straight Man/Woman couples. I stand behind that most fully.

*'''Q: How do you feel about people of different political parties, political parties spanning from Anarchism to Fascism.'''
::A: As a Moderate (of Middle, Neutral Opinion), I have nothing against the other political parties. Mainly, because even though I do have the ability to learn about them, I know not ALL of the details of them.

*'''Q: How do you feel about Drugs? Drugs such as Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigarettes, [[Alcohol]], etc.'''
::A: I STAND FULLY AGAINST [[Tobacky|Cigarettes, Marijuana, Cocaine, Cigars]] and ALL other Drugs of the sort. The only exceptions are drugs that are Prescribed to the Individual Person, as long as they are not given to anyone they were not originally prescribed to, I have no objections. And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, irresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to [[6 June 2010|fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents]].

*'''Q: Do you hold any distaste for any worldly culture?'''
::A: Only those who fully promote smoking or such drugs that I have just elaborated against of.

*'''Q: Are you uncomfortable about [[Chris and race|people of Color]]? do you have any tensions towards them?'''
::A: I have no discomfort or tension against people of all colors. The only exception is in my choice of [[Sweetheart]] or Mate; No Personal Offense, but she can not be [[Niggos|Black]].

*'''Q: Are you disturbed or disgusted by different types of music?''' Many people dislike Death Metal: [http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5 http://tinyurl.com/ch2yl5]
::A: I have agreement on some lyrics of Death Metal tracks, but the Tune, as long as it is not at loud volume, it is still good.

*'''Q: What do you think of our current president? Is he deceiving [[America]]ns as the Right Wing has expressed?'''
::A: I think [[Obama]] is doing okay, yet I disagree with his Health Plan; it is premature at the time, because we can not afford it yet. The Right Wing are sour, mean people; I give no concern to them.

*'''Q: Do you think Countries such as the Soviet Union or [[CWCville|North Korea]] Are actually Communist?'''
::A: I do not know much about those countries, so I can not give a full opinion on the topic. Although I do hate Communism; they are of wrong opinions and are considerably mean.

*'''Q: How do you think the situation in Afghanistan is going? Is there anything you would do different?'''
::A: I do not have full knowledge of that situation either.

*'''Q. Would you be willing to preform oral sex on a woman?'''
::A: Yes I would.

*'''Q. You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?'''
::A: Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and Reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

*'''Q. Have you ever thought about documenting your daily life? Kind of like a reality show?'''
::A: The topic has come to mind, yet I do not feel it appropriate yet.

*'''Q. Do you eat at restaurants other than [[McDonalds]] or [[Burger King]]?'''
::A: Yes, namely [[Golden Corral]], [[Country Cookin']] and iHop.

*'''Q. Do you ever consider playing [[Guitar Hero]] on expert instead of hard?'''
::A: I have played on Expert, and it is good.

*'''Q. What do you argue about with your dad?'''
::A: A number of things; I would not know where to begin on making the list of dumb topics he comes up with.

*'''Q. Why do you want to get the original [[Power Rangers]] back together? They're 40, no longer fit the costumes, one of them is dead, and one of them went to jail for drunk driving.'''
::A: Originally, I meant ONLY to '''[[Revive Zordon]]'''; I mean PRESIDENTS, POLICE CHIEFS and such Recruiting Power Rangers and Creating Zords? Not only is it Trite and LAME, it is not as CLASSIC or Good Quality as Zordon.

*'''Q. Do your parents freak out about you playing with [[My Little Pony|girl's toys]] when you're a grown man?'''
::A: No, they do not, and I gave that up [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|long ago]].

*'''Q. What other ideas did you think of to attract women before you settled on a cardboard sign?'''
::A: Newspaper/Magazine Ads, Online Dating Sites, Video Dating Services to name a few; [[Chris and Money|THEY COST MONEY]].

*'''Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?'''
::A: I am ALREADY GROWN UP; I am 27 Years Old, going on 28. I am a great artist, and I am looking forward to an Office Job.

==15 January 2010==

*'''Q: If you could change the law, how would you change it? and you said you would outlaw the [[friend zone]]? why? what happened to a woman's right to choose who she wants to be with?'''
::A: Nothing has happened in [[Women's Rights]]; the "Friend Zone" is only the LOUSIEST EXCUSE EVER to give to someone the woman deeply cares about and trusts so she could get out of sex or a relationship. I do not take kindly to that Excuse at this time.

*'''Q: Do you like everything you see, so long as it doesn't have gay stuff in it?'''
::A: Non-gay stuff is acceptable, but I don't like EVERYTHING I SEE; there are some things, even straight things, that I don't like either.

*'''Q: [http://www.ratpacker.com/Images/Core_Commander.gif| If you could upload your brain into a robot body, would you? ]'''
::A: I do not think so.

*'''Q: Why aren't you sure of the five worst games you've played? You can't have enjoyed [[List of Chris's games|every game you played]].'''
::A: I just could not think of any that would total up to five.

*'''Q: If you went back to college, what would you major in? What classes would you take?'''
::A: I am not sure.

*'''Q: Why do you like the name "[[Reginald]]" so much?'''
::A: Because [[PandaHalo|a woman]] who was close to me picked it out for the son in our role-play scenario; now she's dead, and I still miss her sometimes.

*'''Q: Did you know that nearly all male porn actors start out making gay porn? What do you think of this?'''
::A: Whatever; I do not care.

*'''Q: [[Christian Love Day|Why did you get rid of asexuality in Sonichu 10]]? Hasn't it occurred to you that some people just don't like being in romantic relationships, and are much happier single? '''
::A: It had occured ''[sic]'' to me about asexuality recently from a mailbag question, and made me think about it, and NOT being able to FEEL the Attraction is Just Sad.

*'''Q: In a recent chat, you said that if you had a chance, you would want to make being a homo illegal. Yet, in a video contemporary to the chat, you ask your fans not to leave you. How would you feel if all of your [[Gay 4 Sonichu|gay fans]] left you?'''
::A: I would not want them to leave; they are still fans.

*'''Q: Have you ever considered getting your own apartment? What prevents you from doing so? '''
::A: Yes I have considered it. Current financial situations and fear of change (a common Autistic Trait) prevents me from doing so.

*'''Q: If there were no women, and men could reproduce sexually with other men, would homosexuality still be wrong?'''
::A: ONLY if that was the case, I would say Shoot Me.

*'''Q: Why do so many of your videos have a greenish-yellow tinge?'''
::A: It's one of the flaws in recording with Sony's EyeCreate Program (a downloadable Playstation 3 Application that requires the [[PSEye|Playstation Eye Camera]]); THEY NEED TO FIX THE PROGRAM, not only of that tint from Lack Of Some Light, but the Audio/Video skips that seems to occur during recording.

*'''Q: You hate homos, but you also hate straight men for "taking all the pretty girls leaving none for you." Shouldn't you support homos, so that other men can date each other and free up girls for you?'''
::A: NO, because Homosexuality is STILL WRONG.

*'''Q: Sex isn't that big of a deal. It's fun, but you don't have to have sex to be happy. Why are you so big about sex?'''
::A: Oh, I don't know, how about being a [[Virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]?!

*'''Q: Would life be better if we reproduced nonsexually, and thus didn't have a sex drive?'''
::A: That is Bullc***.

*'''Q: Since you haven't been very specific about your taste in women, who are your favorite porn stars?'''
::A: To name a few: [[Wikipedia:Jenna Jameson|Jenna Jameson]], [[Wikipedia:Daisy Marie|Daisy Marie]] and [[Wikipedia:Carmen Luvana|Carmen Luvana]].

*'''Q: Do you have any friends in the Autistic community?'''
::A: Only a few Acquaintances.

==20 January 2010==

*'''Q: Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never lose your [[Virgin with rage|virginity]]? What will you do then? How old do you think is too old to be a virgin?'''
::A: No. The next question is Non-Applicable. [[Wikipedia:The 40-Year Old Virgin|40]].

*'''Q: If you could have sex with one famous woman, living or historical, who would it be?'''
::A: [[Britney Spears]].

*'''Q: Why do you think [[Asperchu]] currently has 10 times as many fans as Sonichu?'''
::A: "Fans" are fickle, and so are "Fads"; the Non-True Fans will always look for the Next "Fad" until they tire of it and move on to the next "Fad". In this note, I would say that I am Possibly Retro, and [[Chris and Fashion|Retro is ALWAYS IN]].

*'''Q: Would you say your life has improved since thinking up Sonichu? Why or why not?'''
::A: Yes; I became famous, and becoming famous is not an easy task.

*'''Q: Do you know what the word "[[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]]" means?'''
::A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) [[Chris and religion|to be of a belief while not upholding that belief.]] 2) a total liar. 3) an UNTRUE Fan. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for a [[Asperchu|newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a '''hypocrite''' among the [[Fanbase|Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans]].

*'''Q: I noticed that you have [[The Simpsons|a Marge Simpson poster]] on your wall. Do you find her sexually appealing and if yes why?'''
::A: That is the pin-up from a "[[Wikipedia:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]" a few months ago. She is appealing, yes, but I am more attracted to the real-life women around us all.

*'''Q: What's with all the pictures of Rosechu with a [[pickle]] on the internet? I thought she was supposed to be ALL WOMAN?'''
::A: Rosechu IS All Woman; she transformed from a Female Raichu; those people are just being stupid jerks with such "renditions".

*'''Q: How do you expect to keep us last remaining fans by stop working on the comic pages?'''
::A: I am drawing pages every day; just be patient and have full faith, unless you want to be considered a '''hypocrite''' among True, Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fans.

==26 January 2010==
*'''Q: If Rosechu is a Raichu, that means she's more evolved then Sonichu, who is a Pikachu. Shouldn't she be more powerful than Sonichu and be the leader?'''
::A: Evolution makes no difference; Rosechu is equally as powerful as Sonichu; Sonichu is the main character; Rosechu has equal leadership roles, so [[Women's rights|she leads when appropriate]].

*'''Q: Why do you think you are better artist than [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]], aside from low-resolution and his style's blockiness? Is there something wrong to have quirky and blocky drawing style?'''
::A: How about the fact that his style looks Retarded and something that a 2-Year Old can do? There's nothing wrong, unless you want to be TRULY Respected as [[Chris and art|an Avid Artist]] and [[Chris_and_reality|Serious Person.]]

*'''Q: Why is [[Flame the Sunbird]] a ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Kazooie|Kazooie]]?'''
::A: Flame was NEVER taken from Kazooie; if anything, he is MORE similar to Knuckles, but with a Sunbird Form.

*'''Q: You have expressed disdain for Asperchu and [[Simonchu]], but how do you feel about [[Moon-Pals]]? Have you read it? If not, it would only be fair for you to do so.'''
::A: I have read Moon-Pals, and I feel that it is more like Moon-Dorks the way [[Sean]] draws and Portrays their Events so Grotesquely.

*'''Q: How many fans do you think you have? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: [[Chris and his Ego|1000000000+.]]

*'''Q: How many fans do you think Asperchu has? Please specify one of the following options: 0-10, 11-100, 101-1000, 1001-10000, 10000+.'''
::A: 0-10
''Chris left this last question unanswered until 30 January.''

==30 January 2010==
*'''Q: Will you ever be able to accept criticism without being condescending or changing the subject?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Capital punishment (the Death Penalty) is legal in the [[Commonwealth of Virginia]]. Do you support the death penalty?'''
::A: [[9 February 2010|I do not support the death penalty]].

*'''Q: Could you post the letter you sent to [[Barack Obama]] on the [[CWCipedia]]?'''
::A: I am afraid I did not make a photocopy of the letter, and I had snail-mailed it weeks ago, so I can not do that.

*'''Q: You talk about how Asperchu is just a fad, but what if Sonichu is actually the fad that's starting to fade?'''
::A: I disagree.

*'''Q: If Rosechu is equal to Sonichu in power why does she need to be saved by him?'''
::A: [[Women's rights|She was caught off-guard at those times.]]

==1 February 2010==
*'''Q: Why do people who "[[Mailbag 49#Apparently that's reason enough|tick you off]]" [[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|deserve to die in explosions]]? Didn't Matthew say to love thy enemy?'''
::A: I never said that phrase, nor meant it in any way.

*'''Q: If you don't support [[Sonichu 10|the death penalty]], that means you believe all life is sacred, right? Then why do you call for the deaths of [[Homos|gays]]? Is it only straight people who shouldn't get the death penalty?'''
::A: [[Death threats|All Life IS sacred]].

*'''Q: How come you become more and more like a dictator like [[wikipedia:Kim Jong-il|Kim Jong Il]], [[wikipedia:Hugo Chavez|Hugo Chavez]], or [[Wikipedia:Vladimir Putin|Vladimir Putin]] with your mailbags?'''
::A: I am NOT a Dictator. Why are you giving me an even WORSE Mislabeling than the Homosexual Mislabelings? Why do YOU have to be so bored that you have to make up NEW mislabelings to try and deface me over and over again?

*'''Q: Why did you choose to show the first [[Niggos|black]] character in the series in a negative and racist light?'''
::A: [[Inos|That one]] is NOT a recurring character; the one who WILL be recurring characters are and will be like [[Jerkop|Police Officers]] like [[Louis Perez]].

*'''Q: Why did [[Ultra Sonichu]] cure [[Aspergers]], but did nothing for the physically challenged Rosechus in CWCville?'''
::A: [[Honor roll|Mental Problems can be cured Easier than Physical]].

*'''Q: Why do you constantly edit the letters you receive? Don't you think it is insulting and rude?'''
::A: I am working on that, and Editing Less.

*'''Q: Do you like zombies? What weapon would you use to defend yourself in the zombie apocalypse? Where would you hold out?'''
::A: No, I do not like zombies. I would use a [[Megatron pistol|Gun]]. [[14 Branchland Court|Where I can]].

*'''Q: If you claim to respect your fans, why is it okay for you to "promise" to do a Sonichu page everyday, and then not keep up on that promise?'''
::A: I am drawing the pages For Real; Hand-to-God. I have other life problems that delay me from getting them scanned and online sooner; Shoveling Snow, [[Chores]], [[Biological clock|Earlier Bedtime]] and Routine Resituating.

*'''Q: Why don't you just draw [[Wild]] a new girlfriend, so you can remove [[Simonla]] like Evan asked you to? Most people have more than one relationship in their lives, so it should not be that much of a problem. Or a you so uncreative that you can not think of a new character?'''
::A: I have stated before that when ONE finds [[Boyfriend-free girl|their Match]], they KEEP Each Other; I am NOT going to separate the Couple.

==22 February 2010==
*'''Q: How come your comics art hasn't improved since [[2005]], do you think you've reached your limit when it's come to the art of the Sonichu comic?'''
::A: On the contrary, [[Chris and art|my drawing skills have improved greatly over the years]], yet it may be subtle and not obvious.

*'''Q: Why do you have a bedtime when you are around 30 years old?'''
::A: Everybody needs to sleep a while to recover energy from the past day.

*'''Q: What do you think of legally blind people?'''
::A: They're okay; they are keen to their other senses, and that is admirable. I have neutral to positive opinions of the legally blind.

*'''Q: Hey, Chris, what were your favorite after-school activities when you were a kid?'''
::A: [[Video games]] and Homework.

*'''Q: Were you ever involved in sports besides being the basketball towelboy, or did you take music lessons or art classes outside of school?'''
::A: I took a lot of Physical Education classes; I did not take classes outside of school before [[PVCC|college]].

*'''Q: If you can't get [[Son-Chu|your car]] out because of the snow, shouldn't now be the perfect time to work on updating your comic?'''
::A: I have been working on the comic the whole time, as you will see very soon.

*'''Q: What's your favorite food? Does your mom ever cook at home? If she asked you to fix dinner, what would you do?'''
::A: Macaroni and Cheese; Yes; a small meal or soup.

*'''Q: Are there any video games out right now that you really want to play, but haven't gotten a chance to yet?'''
::A: [[Fanmail Reading|The Orange Box]], [[God of War]] III and Heavy Rain.
::''Note: neither God of War III nor [[Wikipedia:Heavy Rain|Heavy Rain]] had been released when Chris answered this question.''

*'''Q: If you could change anything about yourself physically, what would you change and why?'''
::A: Weigh myself down to [[WeighIn|180 pounds]].

*'''Q: How often do you shower?'''
::A: [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Nightly]].

*'''Q: How often do you visit with friends and family outside of the house?'''
::A: Sometimes.

*'''Q: Do you enjoy [[20 December 2009|playing]] with your [[cats]]?'''
::A: Yes.

*'''Q: Do you actually play with all the [[toys]] in your room? If not, why not donate some to children who actually will play with them?'''
::A: I do sometimes play with all my toys.

*'''Q: Do you envy Sonichu for having [[Rosechu|a wife]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|kids]]?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: Which of the Rosechus is the sexiest in your opinion?'''
::A: The Original Rosechu.

*'''Q: If shoveling snow is that hard for you, why don't you just pay some kid [[Chris and money|$10]] to shovel your driveway?'''
::A: Hard work is good for me.

*'''Q: From between Issues [[Sonichu 0|#0]] and [[Sonichu 8|#8]] Which [[Electric Hedgehog pokemon]] do you like least and why?'''
::A: [[Silvana Rosechu]], because of the [[Troll]] Influences, I felt forced to let [[Graduon]] magically make her a hermaphrodite for the sake of "TRANSFORM".

*'''Q: Have any of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|the Sonichus and Rosechus]] ever considered "[[Wikipedia:Swinging|swinging]]," aka swapping [[sex]] partners for the night?'''
::A: No.

*'''Q: What are the ten worst things that have happened to you in your life?'''
::A: 1) Trolls Pestering Me Constantly. 2) [[Julie|Learning that Ohio woman was actually a 13-year old boy]]. 3) Having[[PSN|my accounts]] hacked into. 4) [[Clyde Cash]] breaking into my ORIGINAL, which hosted The Original "[[CWC's Sonichu Site!|CWC's Sonichu Site]]", Tripod Account and screwing it up Royally. 5) Being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe|The (Game & Hobby) Place]] by that S.O.B., '''[[Michael Snyder]]'''; we never saw eye-to-eye, and for [[Chris and anger|some UNCOMPREHENDIBLE Reason]], aside from that time with my [[Nintendo|Wii]], He Hated Me, Period. 6) Learning of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] Website late October, [[2007]], followed by learning [[Lucas|TWO OF]] [[Mimms|THE TROLLS]] were old Pokémon TCG comrades in that same League I used to go to HAD PART in the creation of that D*** E.D. Page. 7) The loss of two True and Good Women who I had friendships with, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie ([[PandaHalo]]), and [[Sarah Jackson]]. 8) Being banned from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] for a year. 9) Having to leave behind all of my [[Gal-pal|Girl Friends]] from [[High School]] after Graduation. 10) [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Being pinned down on the floor by a teacher, two teacher aides, the Guidance Counsoler and the Principal on the floor and having my screams and cries recorded onto audiocassete back in 4th Grade]]. 11) The [[Autism]].

*'''Q: Chris, what are the good deeds you have done that earn you the right to go to heaven?'''
::A: I have done a lot of good in my life, yet I did some bad, [[Chris and remorse|most of which was accidental, unintentional or beyond my knowledge]]. To name a few good things: holding the door for many people in various places, [[Chris and Death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|honoring my promises]], being friendly and kind in person, donating to various causes and a lot of other good things.

*'''Q: Why does homosexuality immediately condemn the person to hell regardless of how good they are?'''
::A: I can not say; ask a Priest or Pastor.

*'''Q: At what age did you officially become mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: [[Sonichu chronology#2000|18]]

*'''Q: At what age will [[Daughter|your future daughter]] inherit the title of mayor of CWCville?'''
::A: 13 - 18

*'''Q: You know that crystal isn't a kind of metal, right?'''
::A: I know that; cyrstal is a kind of Mineral.

*'''Q: Who came up with the "Chris Chan" nickname?'''
::A: I did; it's the first halves of my first and last names, Chris tian Chan dler, and it has a "Jackie Chan" feel to it.

*'''Q: What inspired you to create Sonichu?'''
::A: The [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD Cover Project]] for Computer Graphics during my Seinor Year at [[Manchester High]]; Sonic and Pikachu.

*'''Q: Even though you've created him for over a decade, did Sonichu ever helped you accomplished anything?'''
::A: Yes; see myself as a better person.

*'''Q: Why did the [[Wailord]] dropped a boulder on [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble]]'s adoptive mother [[Swampert]]?'''
::A: the boulder was attached to that Wailord's underbelly, like Barnicles, and in its leap over Mama Swampert, the boulder detached itself.

*'''Q: Since you hate gay people so much, why do you use [[Rainbow]]s in your comics?'''
::A: I do not understand why the [[Chris and Censorship|f***]] the gays decided to use Rainbows as their symbol; that's like asking Hitler why he used the Swastika (which originally was a Lucky Symbol) for [[CWCville|his whole mess]].

*'''Q: What purpose have the [[Chaotic Combo]] served through out the whole comic?'''
::A: It's like asking why [[Sailor Moon]] needed the Sailor Soldiers of the other 8 planets; BACKUP, ADVICE and COMRADESHIP.

*'''Q: Why do you add yourself as a character?'''
::A: If it was good enough for Shinichi Watanabe in [[Excel Saga]] and [[Puni Puni Poemy]], [[Chris and his Ego|it was good enough for me]]. But upon retrospect, I saw why it was a mistake.

==Unanswered==
===From [[Mailbag 58]]===
*'''Q: What do you think of people who read both Sonichu and Asperchu? Do you think they are loyal fans?

*'''Q: Have you considered letting more comic series onto the the [[CWCipedia]]?

*'''Q: Would you date someone who loved the [[Xbox]] as much as you love PS3 and hates PS3 as much as you do the Xbox?

*'''Q: If only [[slow in the minds]] could be turned into jerkops, why didn't you get turned into one?

*'''Q: Why do you refuse to buy your father nice gifts and just settle for cheap candy or even nothing?

*'''Q: You say you're against the death penalty, so why is it that in your most recent comic pages you decided to kill off the Asperpedia crew?

*'''Q: Do you wish you could punish the [[Asperpedia|Asperpals]] in real life the same way you did in your most recent comic book?

*'''Q: [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Why are things a fact when said by you, but an opinion when said by others?]]

*'''Q: What has been your greatest victory over the trolls?

*'''Q: What has been your biggest defeat at the hands of trolls?

===From [[Mailbag 59]]===
*'''Q:Why do you put Sonichu on your [[resume]] if you don't want it to be a job?

{{Mailbag}}

Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)

2018-04-03T19:45:22Z

Jackingura: /* Possible Sequel */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|thumb|Because making a homemade DVD about yourself justifies your existence.]]

'''''Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)''''' is [[Chris]]'s famed homemade DVD, featuring various video clips Chris had made before his Internet fame, and his actual, if meager, TV appearances. Despite its title, only two videos on the DVD were ever shown on TV.

Chris originally sent copies of the DVD only to a select few people, but nevertheless thought him making the DVD was an [[Chris and his Ego|important enough achievement]] to mention repeatedly in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] and elsewhere. He also believed that people would actually be interested in buying a copy along with other merchandise, and even planned a [[Sony|Blu-ray]] release.<ref>[[3 December 2009]]</ref> Suffice to say, the disc was actually burned with a Magnavox DVD recorder out of material that appears to have been transferred off of aged VHS tapes, and doesn't actually approach commercial quality, even if it actually had any interesting content that people would actually pay for. Chris possibly thinks that lack of content and video quality that was abysmal to begin with will mysteriously look better when burned on [[Sonichu 10|hi-def]] discs.

Naturally, since this relic was so profoundly ''important'' in Chris's mind, the [[trolls]] had their curiosity piqued greatly over it. Eventually, a copy was obtained by [[LordSillynipples]] by posing as Chris's childhood friend and first crush, [[Tiffany Robinson]].

After the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], it seems likely that the original copy of the DVD was destroyed, however Chris announced its first official public release in 2016, suggesting either the DVD survived the fire or he downloaded the torrent.

==Tracklisting==
===''C.W.C. On TV'' Trailer===
To reduce marketing costs, Chris put the trailer for the DVD directly into the DVD. He also uploaded it to YouTube on 5 November 2007. The trailer provides an 8-minute summary of the rest of the features, in case you don't want to melt your brain by actually watching the whole DVD. His YouTube description:

{{quotebox|This is the Trailer of my Limited Distributed DVD. More videos are avilable on [[YouTube#Chris's other video site--Veoh|www.veoh.com]]. Enjoy.}}

===[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|C.W.C. Super Sonic Winner!!!]]===
From 26 February [[1990s#1994|1994]], shortly after Christian's 12th birthday. Anchormen and women on ''[[Wikipedia:WVIR|NBC 29]] [[Wikipedia:Dateline NBC|Dateline News]]'' report him winning a ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' contest and earning a $1,000 shopping spree for video games. The pinnacle of Chris's entire existence to date, this event fueled the delusional manchild he is today.

===[[Song of Christian]]===
Filmed on 15 May [[1990s#1998|1998]], when Chris was 16. Presented as an episode of ''The Christian Chandler Show'', Chris gives a dramatic reading of a poem he wrote about himself. He then spends 20 minutes explaining the meaning of each line, about 15 minutes of which is dedicated to him leafing through his [[hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine|hand-drawn ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], and the rest dedicated to him raging over the fact that the poem [[Honor roll|got him an "F" in school]].

===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway#Prototype|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway Prototype]] Animation===

===[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway|''Mario Kart 64'' LEGO Raceway]] Animation by C.W.C. on Game Boy Camera===
Filmed on 4 June [[1990s#1998|1998]]. Hey, do you like ''Mario Kart''? Do you like Lego bricks? How about stop-motion animation? More importantly, do you like hearing the same 15-second clip of music played over and over and over while you watch grainy black-and-white 8-bit footage of LEGO men getting into car wrecks? Have we got the clip for you. By the way, LEGO Chris wins the race. [[Chris and his Ego|No surprises there.]]

===[[The City of Cwicville Tour!|Unfinished CWCville Tour]]===
Filmed 12 July [[2000s#2001|2001]]. Lego Chris gives a tour of his Lego town, passing by 2 landmarks before the video abruptly ends.

===[[Chris Chan in the PokéNews]]===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|OH BOY!]]
Filmed 16 October [[1990s#1999|1999]]. An anchorwoman on [[Richmond]] [[Wikipedia:NBC|NBC]] affiliate [[Wikipedia:WWBT|WWBT]] does a fluff piece on the rise of the ''Pokémon'' fandom. Chris, aged 17 and older than the playing crowd featured, happens to be among the small children playing the game, and although not discussed he is lingered on for a little while. This clip provides the DVD cover with its money line:

{{quote|I'll send out my Dragonair, even though it has 60 Damage on it. Oh boy! It has 3 Energy on it... Slam Attack!}}

===Christian Chandler's [[Animal Crossing Documentary|''Animal Crossing'' Documentary]]===
Filmed 22 November [[2000s#2003|2003]]. Chris makes an hour-long video of him playing ''Animal Crossing'' for the GameCube, that's about as exciting as watching [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|paint]] dry.

===[[The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special|C.W.C.'s ''Animal Crossing''/''Mario Paint'' 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]===
Filmed on 7 June [[2004]]. Chris plays ''Animal Crossing'' again in honor of [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] Chandler's anniversary.

===[[So Need a Cute Girl|"So Need A Cute Girl" Music Video]]===
Filmed 20 [[2004#December|December 2004]]. Chris sings both the lead single off [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|his debut album]] and a special Christmas tune in this music video.

===Chris Chan's [[Harvey Birdman commercial|''Harvey Birdman'' Commercial]]===
Filmed 24 February [[2005]]. Here is Chris's attempt to win a contest, whose goal is to deliver a creative advertisement for a ''Harvey Birdman'' DVD. The time constraints laid out are obvious, as Chris crams 50% info about himself, ''Sonichu'', [[random-access humor]] and Mary Lee Walsh, and 50% info about the DVD into a thirty-second "advertisement".

===Chris Chan's [[Pixelated PS3]]===
Filmed on 28 November [[2006]]. Chris enters another contest requiring him to shill a product in under a minute, this time a PlayStation 3. To answer the question "What would you do for a PS3?", Chris first explains everything he would like to do but won't (e.g., save up the money and go to a store), and would but can't (forsake a cure for autism), before revealing that he has constructed a PS3 from Legos and [[Pixelblocks]].

===C.W.C.'s SlideShow of Photographs, Art, and Comics===
Chris films images taken from [[1980s#1982|1982]]-[[2007]], while simultaneously playing a self-made [[KCWC broadcast|radio broadcast]] from 1998 which gives new insight into his past, in one audio channel.

===[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]===
Filmed 24 February [[2007]]. Closing the DVD, in celebration of his milestone 25th birthday, Chris delivers an address summarizing the lessons he has learned in his life and how they should be applied by future generations of "ladies and gentlemen and dudes of all teenages."

==Great Director's Cut==
After the DVD was leaked onto the internet, Chris claimed<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> that the trolls didn't have the "Director's Cut", which includes footage of Chris's [[Christmas]] from [[Christmas#2004|2004]] and takes from the [[Pixelated PS3]] commercial. The trolls long thought that the "Director's Cut" was just a bluff he used to save face. That was, until [[December 2014]], when it was revealed that [[Catherine]] acquired a copy and handed over some footage to a Kiwi Farms member to upload to YouTube, thus proving its existence.

He later told [[Regina]] that he had a "Master Copy" with over ''6 hours'' of tedious crap.<ref>[[Regina e-mails]]</ref> The fate of this version after the events of [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|10 January 2014]] is unknown.

===[[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Chandler Family Christmas 2004 parts 1 & 2]]===
Filmed on 25 December 2004. Chris videotapes footage around the house while discussing C-Mas. Notable for being made when the hoard was in its infancy.

===[[ChrisAfterChristmas2004|Chris After Christmas 2004]]===
Filmed on 25 December 2004. Chris bitches some more about [[gal-pal]] [[Sarah Hammer]] and the continuation of his [[Love Quest]].

==Possible Sequel==
In an email to [[Cole]], Chris expresses his intention to create a new DVD "around (his) 50th or sooner"<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>. So far, this sequel has not materialized as of [[2018]].

In early 2016, Chris announced that he would be giving the DVD its first official public release from his [[Etsy]] page, including a bonus disc of content filmed between 2007 and 2010.<ref>https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/266568164/christian-weston-chandler-yep-im-on-tv</ref>

==Images from the Physical DVD==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:062-CWCsDVD.jpg|Cover.
Image:DVDReleaseCut.jpg|The cover of the release edition.
Image:063-2-CWCDVDWholeMaster.jpg|And the Director's Cut Edition.
Image:063-1-CWCsDVD Label.jpg|Even DVD labels cannot be spared from the horror.
Image:ChrisDVDCD2.jpg|We asked for a "disc image". The torrent went up later, but this was delivered as a cop-out.
Image:CHRISDVD.jpg|Parental Advisory - VERY HONEST content.
Image:ChrisDVD3.jpg|Chapter menu, complete with Magnavox DVD/VCR styling.
Image:CHRISletter.jpg|Letter to troll who received DVD.
Image:Chrislist1.jpg|''Chandler's List'' - It's like ''Schindler's List'', except you'd want to be sent to a gas chamber.
Image:Chrislist2.jpg|'''Spoiler:''' Most of these people went to school with Chris and probably have no idea who he is.
Image:Chrislist3.jpg|And here's the last page.
Image:Chrispaper1.jpg|"Now I'm even more perverted, sexist, and homophobic."
Image:Chrispaper2.jpg|People who Chris couldn't find pictures of to include - consider yourselves lucky.
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/4433832/Christian_Weston_Chandler..._Yep__I_m_On_T.V.___)_DVD Torrent of the DVD]
* [https://ia601502.us.archive.org/11/items/C.W.C.YEPIMONT.V./C.W.C.%20YEP%2c%20I%27M%20ON%20T.V.%20-%29.ISO ISO of the DVD]
* [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPTVCCc1YkC9VRrXzUhtrX-9Unbb9ijS The entire DVD on YouTube.]
* <s>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/dvd/ Contents of DVD slideshow.]</s>
* <s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EL8AHJ8P Slideshow download.]</s>

{{CWC on TV}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

Chris and Spanish

2018-04-03T19:24:51Z

Jackingura: /* Ricardo Weston Chandler */

[[File:397-RicardoBadge.jpg|thumb|right|The badge don't lie.]]

'''[[Wikipedia:Spanish|Spanish]]''' is an Indo-European language spoken by over 450,000,000 people worldwide, one of whom is [[Chris]] (arguably). He often uses Spanish in his videos and comics, as it was one of the few things that he learned at [[Manchester High School]], [[Honor roll|however poorly]]. He often refers to himself by his Spanish name, '''Ricardo'''.

Chris is proud of his tenuous grasp of the Spanish language, but this has not prevented [[Chris and race|racism]] against [[Joshua Martinez|Hispanics]], creating a stereotypical [[Heather Iglesias|babysitter in his comics]] and a highly stereotypical sombrero-wearing Pokémon called [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]], who "confuses its enemies with its language." Based on his vocabulary, and the fact that it's the most common Spanish dialect for L2 Americans, Chris most likely learned the standard centro-Mexican dialect.

==Chris's "knowledge" of the language==
[[File:ComicHeather Iglesias.jpg|thumb|''¡Ay, caramba!'']]
Chris's actual grasp of the language must be inferred from various sources. At [[Manchester High School]], Chris took two years (4 semesters) of Spanish.
The [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Spanish|Manchester High Leaks]] indicate that Chris had a basic grasp of Spanish Level 1 and possibly 2. His exact grades aren't known, but they were likely to be average. On [[Okcupid]], Chris claimed to speak Spanish, and wrote a large section of his profile in it (which was riddled with mistakes). He also states that he speaks Spanish on his [[resume]] (but mentions that he has only taken 2 years). He also has written some [[Sonichu]] comic pages in Spanish. Chris seems confident in his Spanish, despite plentiful evidence suggesting his grasp of it is feeble - he frequently makes mistakes of grammar, spelling, and pronunciation, and only employs the most basic of verb conjugations.

Some of Chris's mistakes in Spanish seem to have crossed over from his stunted [[Chris and English|command of English]], such as an affinity for the written sequence "ein" (resulting in, for example, "''bein''" instead of ''bien''). Chris is inconsistent with his use of symbols which do not occur in English when writing Spanish, such as [[wikipedia:Inverted question and exclamation marks|inverted punctuation]], accented vowels, and, most significantly, ñ. The inverted punctuation marks are sometimes replaced with their respective upright marks and accents with an apostrophe before the vowel, while the tilde in ñ is often omitted entirely. The fact that he ''sometimes'' uses the proper characters indicates that he knows how to enter them and simply does not care enough to do so consistently. In some of Chris's [[Tomgirl]]-era Spanish writing, notably [[Sonichu 12]], Chris uses feminine nouns and adjectives when referring to mixed-gender groups, whereas standard Spanish grammar would use the masculine in these contexts. This could be an attempt at a subtle [[Women's rights|feminist]] statement, but knowing Chris it is likely a simple error.

In Chris's [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009|July 29, 2009 video]] to our [[Liquid Chris|TRUE and HONEST hero]], he displays his grasp on Spanish, although basic for the majority. It can be safely assumed he used online Spanish dictionaries for words he did not know. Another video involving Spanish is [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]] (a weird 1337[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet] Spanish title), in which he says "Love [[Sonichu]]" and "hate [[Asperchu]]" backwards in English, surrounded by a sentence in awkward Spanish. In another display of his Spanish, his old Spanish assignment to create a [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|hotel]] was released online. This assignment is mostly just basic Spanish and not very advanced.

===Pronunciation===
As with many English natives, Chris's Spanish pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired. This is coupled with his usual [[speech impediment]]s. In [[A New, Fun Trick]], Chris attempts to roll his R's, claiming he finally figured it out after over 3 decades on the planet. Instead of doing a proper roll, he simply moves his tongue to make a gurgling sound. In previous videos, Chris pronounces Spanish words the way an [[America]]n would.

==Ricardo Weston Chandler==
'''Ricardo Weston Chandler''' is Chris's Spanish alter-ego. Presumably named in honor of [[Wikipedia:Ricky Ricardo|Ricky Ricardo]], a main character in ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', one of Chris's favorite TV shows. This is a "Spanish name" Chris chose for Spanish class (a general practice in language classes where students will take a name in the language they're learning in order to "get into" the culture and language). Of course, while most people forget about this when they've left the course (or in some cases, even the teachers abandon the practice shortly into the course), Chris has adopted "Ricardo" as his actual Spanish name and uses it for his Spanish-related endeavors.

He is oblivious to the fact that in most European languages, people do not change their name when using a different language, but might use the language's native form of the name. While Christian is actually a rather common name in Hispanic countries, if it were translated, his full name would be "Cristóbal Cristian Weston Velero"<ref>Or "Candelero", depending on which etymology is used for the English "Chandler"</ref> (alternatively, his middle name could be rendered "Huestón", as Spanish uses W only with loanwords). Also, actual Spanish speakers do not generally translate the names of foreign people. (Spanish media refers to [[Donald Trump]] as "Donald Trump," not "Ronaldo Trump") Of course it must be noted that Ricardo's linguistic skills have brought us gems such as [[noviophobia]] (from the Spanish ''novio'', "boyfriend"). It should also be noted that Ricardo is the Spanish and Portuguese version of the name "Richard", which is sometimes shortened to [[duck|"Dick"]].

Chris's attachment to his Spanish persona has not abated during the Tomgirl Saga, and he now lists the name prominently alongside his more common aliases ([[Christopher's name change|Christopher, Christian]], and [[Tomgirl|Christine]]). However, Chris has yet to pick a feminine Spanish name in agreement with his current gender identity, suggesting he has largely abandoned the concept of having a Spanish alter-ego.

==Works in which CWC uses Spanish==
*[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]
*[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
*[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]]
*[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]
*"[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]"
*"[[Valentines Day Hymn]]"
*His leaked [[Manchester High Leaks|Manchester High School homework]]
*[[Mumble_2#Chris.27s_fail-riffic_Spanish|Mumble 2]]
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[SingStar_Challenge#Transcript|SingStar Challenge]]
*[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
*[[Sonichu_Girls#The_letter_in_Spanish|Chris's letters to the Sonichu Girls]]
*[[:File:396-PokePizzaria.jpg|El Café de Pokémon Pizzaria]] [sic]
*[[:File:052-LindaRonstadtIn.jpg|Christian's Favorite Hits: Los [sic] Canciónes [sic] Españolas de Ricardo]]
*[[Katie Bay E-mails 3|Chris's e-mails with Katie Bay]]
*[[Facebook messages|Facebook message to Christina]]
*[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks CWC Speaks], an article on [[CWCipedia]] where he [[ego|brags about his fluency]] in the language.
*[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]
*[[Sonichu 12]], in an appearance from [[Heather Iglesias]], mixed in with English dialogue.

==See also==
*[[Chris and English]]
*[[Heather Iglesias]], a [[homos|lesbian]] nanny who works for [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]

==Notes==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Manchester High Leaks

2018-04-03T17:03:07Z

Jackingura: /* Strategic Defense Initiative essay */

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91 began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's [[Manchester High School|high school]] classes'''.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/msc-docs-thread-1.4105/]</ref> Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 BLC]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high marks which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra marks would have contributed to his [[ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Spanish|the wrong fucking language]] and still got good or even ''full'' marks. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions (or were simply morons, which several of them obviously were), but even though they may have made Chris, [[Bob]], and [[Barb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving brief answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations", possibly referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing glasses, however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods—chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name there benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and Money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended [[Niggos|slavery]], it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia, South Carolina]], and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "[[Niggos|AFRICA]]".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble (oddly from a white person): "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]
::[Note: In reality, the Senate was always two people from each state, and the 17th Amendment made them directly elected rather than appointed by State legislatures.]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME [[DUCK]] [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled [[Pokemon|"S.S. ANNE."]], carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
::[Note: In reality, it was the exact opposite; the 24th Amendment ''prohibited'' federal and governments from requiring voters to pay poll taxes in order to vote.]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against '''the''' evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low— Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher was a bit [[slow in the mind]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Khomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured ''[sic]'' in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby (Rubinstein). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on Chaucer's [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|The Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as making up words. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War I. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently racist. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity".

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like [[Chris and fashion|your clothes]] 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
Nice watch 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive [sic] that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}

===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
<center><gallery>
File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg
</gallery></center>
This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched Spanish dubs of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricacdo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad"— at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Brushfire Video|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of"[masc.]) instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler

7/12/98

Español, '''4'''

En mi cuarto, <s>yo llavo</s>hay una mochilla [''sic''], una cama, unos videos, <s>una video</s>, unos pósters, un televisón [''sic''], <s>un juego de</s>, unos juegos de videos, un pasador, unos estántes, unos libros, ∧y unos almohadas.

En mi cuarto <s>yo</s> no <s>llavo</s>hay una alfombra, unos discos, un estéreo, un radio despertádor, unas plantas, una cámara, unas cintas, un máquina de escribir, una silla, y una grabadora.
}}}}

Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[Destruction of Chris's House|burn down his house]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[Twitter#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Manchester High Leaks

2018-04-03T17:02:18Z

Jackingura: /* Strategic Defense Initiative essay */

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91 began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's [[Manchester High School|high school]] classes'''.<ref>[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/msc-docs-thread-1.4105/]</ref> Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[Destruction_Of_Chris's_House|the January 2014 fire and subsequent events at 14 BLC]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high marks which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra marks would have contributed to his [[ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Spanish|the wrong fucking language]] and still got good or even ''full'' marks. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions (or were simply morons, which several of them obviously were), but even though they may have made Chris, [[Bob]], and [[Barb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving brief answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations", possibly referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing glasses, however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods—chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name there benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and Money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended [[Niggos|slavery]], it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia, South Carolina]], and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "[[Niggos|AFRICA]]".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble (oddly from a white person): "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]
::[Note: In reality, the Senate was always two people from each state, and the 17th Amendment made them directly elected rather than appointed by State legislatures.]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME [[DUCK]] [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled [[Pokemon|"S.S. ANNE."]], carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
::[Note: In reality, it was the exact opposite; the 24th Amendment ''prohibited'' federal and governments from requiring voters to pay poll taxes in order to vote.]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against '''the''' evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructrions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low— Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher was a bit [[slow in the mind]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Khomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured ''[sic]'' in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby (Rubinstein). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on Chaucer's [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|The Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as making up words. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War I. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently racist. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he quoted begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as Chris's writing in general}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity".

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like [[Chris and fashion|your clothes]] 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
Nice watch 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive [sic] that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}

===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
<center><gallery>
File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg
</gallery></center>
This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched Spanish dubs of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricacdo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad"— at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Brushfire Video|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of"[masc.]) instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler

7/12/98

Español, '''4'''

En mi cuarto, <s>yo llavo</s>hay una mochilla [''sic''], una cama, unos videos, <s>una video</s>, unos pósters, un televisón [''sic''], <s>un juego de</s>, unos juegos de videos, un pasador, unos estántes, unos libros, ∧y unos almohadas.

En mi cuarto <s>yo</s> no <s>llavo</s>hay una alfombra, unos discos, un estéreo, un radio despertádor, unas plantas, una cámara, unas cintas, un máquina de escribir, una silla, y una grabadora.
}}}}

Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[Destruction of Chris's House|burn down his house]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[Twitter#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>
[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

User:Jackingura

2018-03-14T23:34:47Z

Jackingura: Created page with "Hello, I have no idea what I am doing here. I play piano and regret most of all of my life decisions, also I am making a Chris-Chan case study. *Not licences to practice"

Hello, I have no idea what I am doing here. I play piano and regret most of all of my life decisions, also I am making a Chris-Chan case study.
*Not licences to practice