CWCki - User contributions [en]

E-Mails

2011-08-30T03:53:35Z

James Lamp-Eye: Redirected page to Emails

#REDIRECT [[Emails]]

Jackie E-mails 5

2011-08-18T02:47:17Z

James Lamp-Eye: derp

Correspondence between [[Jackie]] and Chris from July 24 to July 28, [[2010]].

===Emails===
====Unbanned from Flipnote Hatena, Chris thinks he dances well====
{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 8:56pm

You are soo right, and I thank you too for understanding. :) I will create a video and upload it onto a [[YouTube]] account of "J.J."'s name within the next few days to get my foot in the door. I have total access to the e-mail account I used to create J.J.'s [[Cwcki]] account; I haven't figured which one it was yet; I have quite a few. Fortunately, I have them hand-written down, including passwords, on paper in my folder. I promise you, Jacklyn, that I will get within their inner circle.

But of course, we can find a number of other things to talk about. Like tell me about your trip so far; the places you been and seen within each state and whatnot.

**Confidentially** I've had my DSi linked with a new [[FlipNote Hatena]] account for a while; I was only banned from posting on my original account for a week (it was not permanent). I've just unlinked it from the new and went back to the old, erased all the original still-on/removed FlipNotes, and reuploaded the proper Original FlipNotes. I've left off the personal ones, such as the shout-outs, and the "Edit Me" one. The swimmers are clothed.

Another thought, you said you thought the way I danced that past Friday was cute. :) I was a bit [[Alcohol|drunk]] from a Bud, and the music was that good that day. Even sober, I can still dance as good. I'd like to dance with you eventually (and slowly). ;)

I gtg, but I want to hear about your trip in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie gives advice, talks about road trip====
{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Yay! I'm soo happy! Get in good with them, get niiice and comfortable, make them lower their guard. Then we'll figure out our next step! I'm so excited! :D :D :D
But I don't think a youtube will be a good idea, I'm sure your disguise will be good but you should take precautions anyway and not let it be publicly viewed. But did you see the message canine left on your jenkinsjinkies talk page? He said that you should put the video on mediafire or megaupload or whatever and send the link to his email, it's <>. (I'd like to see it too, though :)

But you're right, I've been on a trip all this time and we've barely been talking about it! I actually just got into upstate New York early this morning, I'm visiting my friend Heidi, I'm soo tired here. Heidi was my friend in grade school but went to a different high school and we lost touch, but then last year we discovered we had a class together! We've become so close since then, if I ever get married she's going to be my maid of honor. We spent most of today just lounging around talking because I'm so tired from driving, but tomorrow we're going around town and out to dinner and stuff. Toronto was fun but went by too fast. I'm spending the next few days here in New York, then we're going to visit another friend in Rhode Island, then coming back and heading down through Connecticut to visit ANOTHER friend. Long road trip... but rewarding.

Heidi has a DSi, she doesn't use flipnote but maybe I'll try it out while I'm with her. What's your new flipnote ID? I'd like to see your stuff. And you were tipsy during that dance? Aww, you're an adorable drunk, then :) I can't wait to see your moves sober, though, too.

Well, me and Heidi are going to go to bed, I'm exhausted. Talk to you tomorrow!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}
====Chris complains about high school reunion, or lack thereof====
{{EmailReply|July 25, 2010 - 11:00am

I have a small plan in my head on the [[troll]] issue for right now, but we'll wait and see how it fans out before going according fully to it.

That is very cool of you to find an old school friend. I've been waiting Ten Years, expectantly since my Senior Prom, for my [[High School]]'s Class of [[2000]] Reunion. Yet here it is, Mid-[[2010]], and I HEAR NOTHING of the Reunion. It makes me sad, because I haven't seen my gal friends since graduation, all the waiting and expecting for nothing, and worse off, I won't be able to return the favor of offering a dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]]. She Asked ME to dance with her at the Senior Prom; it was awesome of her to do that for me.

Anyway. The FlipNote Hatena ID is still "[[Sonichu]]", but the DSi Profile name DISPLAYED name is now "ChristianC". Same as before, more or less.

I'm feeling a bit sleepy at the moment. I'm gonna take a nap. Tell me more of your fun stories, please. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie suggests a disguise, warns Chris about PS3 plans====
{{Email|July 25, 2010 - 12:50pm

Hey Chris. What's your plan? You've got me really curious about it. Tell me all about it! And do you have a disguise for the video yet? Maybe you could wear like a white sheet on your head like a ghost or something, simple but effective. Just one idea, I'm sure you have some too. And make sure to disguise your voice, just make it a low grumble, that'll do. Those trolls are stupid, they'll never catch on. After all, they were stupid enough to talk about their plans with me in that chatroom when they hadn't even confirmed who I am.

But nevertheless, I'm still a little worried, and I'll feel better once you've gotten in with them. If you get the evidence on them, you can get them sent to jail for this credit fraud stuff... but you have to act quick, because even though it's illegal, if they go forth with it the damage will be done and your [[Playstation 3]] will be gone. Even when thieves and con-artists are caught, there's always a very low chance of the [[police]] finding the stuff they stole. Prevention is a lot better than cure here, Chris.

I don't think my school has 5-year reunions so I'll have to wait a while for my 10-year reunion. You should call up this Tiffany, sounds like she was a good friend in high school, she probably knows something about the reunion. Or maybe go to the high school itself, they can surely tell you something.

I'll write a little more later today. Let me know what's up when you wake up!

XOXO

Jackie}}

====Chris's brilliant ideas====
{{EmailReply|July 26, 2010 - 7:55pm

Well, the plan is simple really. Firstly, I've already informed my [[church]]'s Reverand, Elizabeth and [[Rocky]] of the incriminating information on the JenkinsJinkies Talk page of the plot for Credit Fraud. They will be informing our local detective at the P.D. shortly by forwarding him that information.

I have recorded the video earlier today, using a dark shirt covering my whole head (no [[glasses]]). I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.

Shortly, I will be creating a new e-mail address, followed by a Mega Upload account, for J.J., then I will inform the dude of the Cwcki of the video from J.J.'s e-mail address. Then it's pray time for getting IN from there. I shot in a different location, a decorated restroom at my local Goodwill.

Also, I don't have Tiffany's phone number, and I have searched online and could not find much current info on her (aside from what the Trolls are saying against her on the Cwcki).

What else has been good for you all in New York, New York?

"It's a wonderful town; the bronx is up and the battery's down; the people ride in a hole in the ground. New York, New York." That was a fun song from "On the Town" starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Trolls not actually breaking any laws====
{{EmailReply|1=July 26, 2010 - 8:10pm

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UM0F9TJQ}}

{{Email|July 26, 2010 - 8:42pm

Ooh, I like the video! Simple but effective. Good job getting that done today. But remember Chris, the purpose of getting in with the troll circle is to actually FIND evidence. You don't have evidence yet - the police won't be able to do anything with what's on the JenkinsJinkies talk page because no one has admitted to any wrongdoing there. In fact, nothing illegal is even at all suggested there, all the trolls say is that they "could go to jail" if they're found out, but that alone doesn't actually MEAN anything. So the cops will just turn that away. If you want to have something the cops can use, you need to get in and FIND something.

This is why I've been pushing you to do this Chris, because as things are now the cops won't have anything to go on. The cops aren't magic, they can't just arrest anyone simply because the person says something that sounds bad if it's not actually incriminating, which nothing you have so far is. So get in there and start schmoozing Chris, find out more of their information.

As for other stuff, you should try researching the class reunion itself maybe, Tiffany might not know anything either for all you know. And I'm not actually going into New York City, just staying upstate, close to Utica, actually.

Jackie}}

====Correspondence between 'troll' and Jenkins====
{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:04pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Mon, July 26, 2010 9:47:51 PM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, thank you for your application. We get a lot of applications every day but Clyde says that yours is important so it's probably going first to the committee.

So you should hear our final decision tomorrow or so, before 10 AM EST or so. 
LULZ, 
Melinda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:05pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 9:44:59 AM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, the application committee has decided to tentatively approve you. They still have some questions but they say they can permit you into our forums.

http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com

Your username is jenkinsjinkies and your password is <>

Feel free to change these.

Go and post and get involved in the community. You have to cozy up to these people and let them know who you are. If you piss them off they might get the committee to reject you. Introduce yourself, you know. Clyde wants you to do well.

Anyway, I'm about to crash into slumber from drinking all night, you know how it is. 
[[lulz|LULZ]], 
Miranda}}

====Jenkins's background and GameFAQs====
{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:20pm

I understand what you're saying. I will get into the groove beforehand, so I can do good; a whole self-mindtweaking if you will. Giddy-up! I'm in. I've just forwarded you the two response e-mails from J.J.'s Yahoo account, so they ARE from me. I'll log in tomorrow to get started, after I've gotten into the groove.

You know Jackie, but on the way to film the video, I thought of more to J.J.'s background. Such as his "Real Name" being Junior Jenkins. And that he had a [[gay]] experience at summer camp at 7; he was not thrilled with it afterwards. Years later, he has two dude friends who are gay, but he keeps them at bay with his straightness. Although, curious at 14, he asks one of them to do him one night, so that happened. And at the end, he was Terribly NOT Thrilled at all; to go into extensive details, he Came and Threw Up Simultaneously. Definitely Straight. I even felt like I was going to throw up myself from imagining the whole thing. I also came up with his birthday being on July 16, as well as a few other stories from when he hitch-hiked from Boston to [[Ruckersville]], VA. I have him crashin' at a house across from mine, where he has relatives who are the "Black Sheep" of the family.

To change the subject a bit, and to throw good news that I feel good about, I've alerted everyone on [[GameFAQs]].com of my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] Merchandise in [[ModNation Racers]], but I've also Contributed Uploaded In-Game Photos of my good stuff; they are ALL there in their own Category. I invite you to check them out and download at your leisure.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/images

I'll check in with you later, Jackie.

Y'all Stay Safe and Sweet. 
Christian.}}

====Do you know someone who was gay at summer camp? Also 'fantasies'====
{{Email|July 27, 2010 - 8:43pm

Hey Chris! I got your messages from your yahoo account. I can't wait to see what you post on there! It seems like those trolls are pretty excited to get "Jinkies" onto their forum so you shouldn't have trouble introducing yourself. Keep me informed of what they say and we can talk about what direction to go.

That's a pretty detailed story that you came up with. It's funny you say Junior's [[birthday]] is July 16, that's my dad's birthday! Where did you get the inspiration for that whole story? Do you know someone that something like that happened to?

Hey, since we're on the subject of [[sex]]... I'm kind of curious, but do you have any sexual fantasies? Like, specific fantasies? I know we should take things slow, but I think a person's sexual fantasies are an intimate way of getting to know who a person really is.

Like, my fantasy is this... I'm very curious about anal sex. I've never done it but I wonder a lot what it would be like. I've only told a few of my close girlfriends about that, Do you have anything like that? :)

Anyway, I took a look at your modnation racer stuff, I can't download because I don't have the game but I like the stuff you made. Your Sonichu [[car]] is very cute :)

Write more later,

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

====Chris is okay with Jackie assfucking him====

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:49am

I've just finished watching "Pink Flamingos" twice (with Director, John Waters', Commentary during second watch). All things considered, it is a comical flick, and I was able to enjoy it (even though I averted my gaze in the [[dick]] shots and that part with the dude at Babs' party while they played "Surfing Bird" in the background. Obviously John is gay, but I did not hold it against him in listening to his opinions. I felt sorry for the chicken that was killed, but then I learned it was a chicken that was going to be killed anyway. I also saw something else in that movie, the heavy topic of being Trolled like Babs was, yet justice WAS done to the Trolls (The Marbles) in the end.

I'll log in later to talk with the trolls. We'll see what info I can dig up. You have the password info as well, so you're welcome to pretend too, just keep it between 7 PM and 6 AM, please.

Mostly, I made up the stories behind Junior, including this one. Although I did get the ray of inspiration from remembering Peter's Parrot in that one episode of "[[Family Guy]]" that repeats "I had a gay experience at camp".

I've had the question of sexual fantasies posed to me before, and there are a few. One is having sex in a swimming pool (to emulate a [[dream]] I had of being lost in a water-filled labyrinth where I was intercepted by a woman and we made out and had sex). I am game for anal sex, as long as you're my partner, and you wore [[sex toys|a strap-on or used a butt-plug]] in me (as long as it is not [[penis]]-shaped). I also would like oral sex, swing set, pole dancing (me, you or both at once), three-way (with two women), role-play, and others I can't remember right now. Feel free to suggest other sex-play topics, and I'll let you know if it's cool with me or not.

It's no problem; we're not having sex yet, so we can talk about it freely; you and I are close (metaphorically until we meet in person when we'll be a LOT closer). ;) You turn me on with your kindness and understanding, and your pretty self adds well to it. I want to kiss you, Jackie.

For now, it's a compliment, but don't hold back when after we hang out for a while and you want to kiss me too.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Sweet and Safe, 
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:55am

I forgot something

XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

:)}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 05]]

Jackie E-mails 5

2011-08-18T02:46:51Z

James Lamp-Eye: more descriptors

Correspondence between [[Jackie]] and Chris from July 24 to July 28, [[2010]].

===Emails===
====Unbanned from Flipnote Hatena, Chris thinks he dances well====
{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 8:56pm

You are soo right, and I thank you too for understanding. :) I will create a video and upload it onto a [[YouTube]] account of "J.J."'s name within the next few days to get my foot in the door. I have total access to the e-mail account I used to create J.J.'s [[Cwcki]] account; I haven't figured which one it was yet; I have quite a few. Fortunately, I have them hand-written down, including passwords, on paper in my folder. I promise you, Jacklyn, that I will get within their inner circle.

But of course, we can find a number of other things to talk about. Like tell me about your trip so far; the places you been and seen within each state and whatnot.

**Confidentially** I've had my DSi linked with a new [[FlipNote Hatena]] account for a while; I was only banned from posting on my original account for a week (it was not permanent). I've just unlinked it from the new and went back to the old, erased all the original still-on/removed FlipNotes, and reuploaded the proper Original FlipNotes. I've left off the personal ones, such as the shout-outs, and the "Edit Me" one. The swimmers are clothed.

Another thought, you said you thought the way I danced that past Friday was cute. :) I was a bit [[Alcohol|drunk]] from a Bud, and the music was that good that day. Even sober, I can still dance as good. I'd like to dance with you eventually (and slowly). ;)

I gtg, but I want to hear about your trip in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie gives advice, talks about road trip====
{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Yay! I'm soo happy! Get in good with them, get niiice and comfortable, make them lower their guard. Then we'll figure out our next step! I'm so excited! :D :D :D
But I don't think a youtube will be a good idea, I'm sure your disguise will be good but you should take precautions anyway and not let it be publicly viewed. But did you see the message canine left on your jenkinsjinkies talk page? He said that you should put the video on mediafire or megaupload or whatever and send the link to his email, it's <>. (I'd like to see it too, though :)

But you're right, I've been on a trip all this time and we've barely been talking about it! I actually just got into upstate New York early this morning, I'm visiting my friend Heidi, I'm soo tired here. Heidi was my friend in grade school but went to a different high school and we lost touch, but then last year we discovered we had a class together! We've become so close since then, if I ever get married she's going to be my maid of honor. We spent most of today just lounging around talking because I'm so tired from driving, but tomorrow we're going around town and out to dinner and stuff. Toronto was fun but went by too fast. I'm spending the next few days here in New York, then we're going to visit another friend in Rhode Island, then coming back and heading down through Connecticut to visit ANOTHER friend. Long road trip... but rewarding.

Heidi has a DSi, she doesn't use flipnote but maybe I'll try it out while I'm with her. What's your new flipnote ID? I'd like to see your stuff. And you were tipsy during that dance? Aww, you're an adorable drunk, then :) I can't wait to see your moves sober, though, too.

Well, me and Heidi are going to go to bed, I'm exhausted. Talk to you tomorrow!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}
====Chris complains about high school reunion, or lack thereof====
{{EmailReply|July 25, 2010 - 11:00am

I have a small plan in my head on the [[troll]] issue for right now, but we'll wait and see how it fans out before going according fully to it.

That is very cool of you to find an old school friend. I've been waiting Ten Years, expectantly since my Senior Prom, for my [[High School]]'s Class of [[2000]] Reunion. Yet here it is, Mid-[[2010]], and I HEAR NOTHING of the Reunion. It makes me sad, because I haven't seen my gal friends since graduation, all the waiting and expecting for nothing, and worse off, I won't be able to return the favor of offering a dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]]. She Asked ME to dance with her at the Senior Prom; it was awesome of her to do that for me.

Anyway. The FlipNote Hatena ID is still "[[Sonichu]]", but the DSi Profile name DISPLAYED name is now "ChristianC". Same as before, more or less.

I'm feeling a bit sleepy at the moment. I'm gonna take a nap. Tell me more of your fun stories, please. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie suggests a disguise, warns Chris about PS3 plans====
{{Email|July 25, 2010 - 12:50pm

Hey Chris. What's your plan? You've got me really curious about it. Tell me all about it! And do you have a disguise for the video yet? Maybe you could wear like a white sheet on your head like a ghost or something, simple but effective. Just one idea, I'm sure you have some too. And make sure to disguise your voice, just make it a low grumble, that'll do. Those trolls are stupid, they'll never catch on. After all, they were stupid enough to talk about their plans with me in that chatroom when they hadn't even confirmed who I am.

But nevertheless, I'm still a little worried, and I'll feel better once you've gotten in with them. If you get the evidence on them, you can get them sent to jail for this credit fraud stuff... but you have to act quick, because even though it's illegal, if they go forth with it the damage will be done and your [[Playstation 3]] will be gone. Even when thieves and con-artists are caught, there's always a very low chance of the [[police]] finding the stuff they stole. Prevention is a lot better than cure here, Chris.

I don't think my school has 5-year reunions so I'll have to wait a while for my 10-year reunion. You should call up this Tiffany, sounds like she was a good friend in high school, she probably knows something about the reunion. Or maybe go to the high school itself, they can surely tell you something.

I'll write a little more later today. Let me know what's up when you wake up!

XOXO

Jackie}}

====Chris's brilliant ideas====
{{EmailReply|July 26, 2010 - 7:55pm

Well, the plan is simple really. Firstly, I've already informed my [[church]]'s Reverand, Elizabeth and [[Rocky]] of the incriminating information on the JenkinsJinkies Talk page of the plot for Credit Fraud. They will be informing our local detective at the P.D. shortly by forwarding him that information.

I have recorded the video earlier today, using a dark shirt covering my whole head (no [[glasses]]). I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.

Shortly, I will be creating a new e-mail address, followed by a Mega Upload account, for J.J., then I will inform the dude of the Cwcki of the video from J.J.'s e-mail address. Then it's pray time for getting IN from there. I shot in a different location, a decorated restroom at my local Goodwill.

Also, I don't have Tiffany's phone number, and I have searched online and could not find much current info on her (aside from what the Trolls are saying against her on the Cwcki).

What else has been good for you all in New York, New York?

"It's a wonderful town; the bronx is up and the battery's down; the people ride in a hole in the ground. New York, New York." That was a fun song from "On the Town" starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Trolls not actually breaking any laws====
{{EmailReply|1=July 26, 2010 - 8:10pm

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UM0F9TJQ}}

{{Email|July 26, 2010 - 8:42pm

Ooh, I like the video! Simple but effective. Good job getting that done today. But remember Chris, the purpose of getting in with the troll circle is to actually FIND evidence. You don't have evidence yet - the police won't be able to do anything with what's on the JenkinsJinkies talk page because no one has admitted to any wrongdoing there. In fact, nothing illegal is even at all suggested there, all the trolls say is that they "could go to jail" if they're found out, but that alone doesn't actually MEAN anything. So the cops will just turn that away. If you want to have something the cops can use, you need to get in and FIND something.

This is why I've been pushing you to do this Chris, because as things are now the cops won't have anything to go on. The cops aren't magic, they can't just arrest anyone simply because the person says something that sounds bad if it's not actually incriminating, which nothing you have so far is. So get in there and start schmoozing Chris, find out more of their information.

As for other stuff, you should try researching the class reunion itself maybe, Tiffany might not know anything either for all you know. And I'm not actually going into New York City, just staying upstate, close to Utica, actually.

Jackie}}

====Correspondence between 'troll' and Jenkins====
{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:04pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Mon, July 26, 2010 9:47:51 PM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, thank you for your application. We get a lot of applications every day but Clyde says that yours is important so it's probably going first to the committee.

So you should hear our final decision tomorrow or so, before 10 AM EST or so. 
LULZ, 
Melinda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:05pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 9:44:59 AM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, the application committee has decided to tentatively approve you. They still have some questions but they say they can permit you into our forums.

http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com

Your username is jenkinsjinkies and your password is <>

Feel free to change these.

Go and post and get involved in the community. You have to cozy up to these people and let them know who you are. If you piss them off they might get the committee to reject you. Introduce yourself, you know. Clyde wants you to do well.

Anyway, I'm about to crash into slumber from drinking all night, you know how it is. 
[[lulz|LULZ]], 
Miranda}}

====Jenkins's background and GameFAQs====
{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:20pm

I understand what you're saying. I will get into the groove beforehand, so I can do good; a whole self-mindtweaking if you will. Giddy-up! I'm in. I've just forwarded you the two response e-mails from J.J.'s Yahoo account, so they ARE from me. I'll log in tomorrow to get started, after I've gotten into the groove.

You know Jackie, but on the way to film the video, I thought of more to J.J.'s background. Such as his "Real Name" being Junior Jenkins. And that he had a [[gay]] experience at summer camp at 7; he was not thrilled with it afterwards. Years later, he has two dude friends who are gay, but he keeps them at bay with his straightness. Although, curious at 14, he asks one of them to do him one night, so that happened. And at the end, he was Terribly NOT Thrilled at all; to go into extensive details, he Came and Threw Up Simultaneously. Definitely Straight. I even felt like I was going to throw up myself from imagining the whole thing. I also came up with his birthday being on July 16, as well as a few other stories from when he hitch-hiked from Boston to [[Ruckersville]], VA. I have him crashin' at a house across from mine, where he has relatives who are the "Black Sheep" of the family.

To change the subject a bit, and to throw good news that I feel good about, I've alerted everyone on [[GameFAQs]].com of my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] Merchandise in [[ModNation Racers]], but I've also Contributed Uploaded In-Game Photos of my good stuff; they are ALL there in their own Category. I invite you to check them out and download at your leisure.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/images

I'll check in with you later, Jackie.

Y'all Stay Safe and Sweet. 
Christian.}}

====Do you know someone who was gay at summer camp? Also 'fantasies'====
{{Email|July 27, 2010 - 8:43pm

Hey Chris! I got your messages from your yahoo account. I can't wait to see what you post on there! It seems like those trolls are pretty excited to get "Jinkies" onto their forum so you shouldn't have trouble introducing yourself. Keep me informed of what they say and we can talk about what direction to go.

That's a pretty detailed story that you came up with. It's funny you say Junior's [[birthday]] is July 16, that's my dad's birthday! Where did you get the inspiration for that whole story? Do you know someone that something like that happened to?

Hey, since we're on the subject of [[sex]]... I'm kind of curious, but do you have any sexual fantasies? Like, specific fantasies? I know we should take things slow, but I think a person's sexual fantasies are an intimate way of getting to know who a person really is.

Like, my fantasy is this... I'm very curious about anal sex. I've never done it but I wonder a lot what it would be like. I've only told a few of my close girlfriends about that, Do you have anything like that? :)

Anyway, I took a look at your modnation racer stuff, I can't download because I don't have the game but I like the stuff you made. Your Sonichu [[car]] is very cute :)

Write more later,

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

===Chris is okay with Jackie assfucking him====

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:49am

I've just finished watching "Pink Flamingos" twice (with Director, John Waters', Commentary during second watch). All things considered, it is a comical flick, and I was able to enjoy it (even though I averted my gaze in the [[dick]] shots and that part with the dude at Babs' party while they played "Surfing Bird" in the background. Obviously John is gay, but I did not hold it against him in listening to his opinions. I felt sorry for the chicken that was killed, but then I learned it was a chicken that was going to be killed anyway. I also saw something else in that movie, the heavy topic of being Trolled like Babs was, yet justice WAS done to the Trolls (The Marbles) in the end.

I'll log in later to talk with the trolls. We'll see what info I can dig up. You have the password info as well, so you're welcome to pretend too, just keep it between 7 PM and 6 AM, please.

Mostly, I made up the stories behind Junior, including this one. Although I did get the ray of inspiration from remembering Peter's Parrot in that one episode of "[[Family Guy]]" that repeats "I had a gay experience at camp".

I've had the question of sexual fantasies posed to me before, and there are a few. One is having sex in a swimming pool (to emulate a [[dream]] I had of being lost in a water-filled labyrinth where I was intercepted by a woman and we made out and had sex). I am game for anal sex, as long as you're my partner, and you wore [[sex toys|a strap-on or used a butt-plug]] in me (as long as it is not [[penis]]-shaped). I also would like oral sex, swing set, pole dancing (me, you or both at once), three-way (with two women), role-play, and others I can't remember right now. Feel free to suggest other sex-play topics, and I'll let you know if it's cool with me or not.

It's no problem; we're not having sex yet, so we can talk about it freely; you and I are close (metaphorically until we meet in person when we'll be a LOT closer). ;) You turn me on with your kindness and understanding, and your pretty self adds well to it. I want to kiss you, Jackie.

For now, it's a compliment, but don't hold back when after we hang out for a while and you want to kiss me too.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Sweet and Safe, 
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:55am

I forgot something

XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

:)}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 05]]

Jackie E-mails 4

2011-08-18T02:23:55Z

James Lamp-Eye:

This page features emails exchanged by [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] in late [[July 2010]]. The contents are generally uneventful, mostly discussing Chris's taste in [[Mary Poppins|movies]] and [[music]], save for Jackie linking Chris to the totally-secret and ultra-secure [[IRC]] channel, and the important plans regarding the destruction of his [[PS3]]. Also, Chris claims his debt is completely gone, a statement which may be [[Chris and money|less than accurate]]. Of course, despite Jackie's urgent tone and the eminent death of his console, Chris took a more ''passive'' route.

[[The MovingFoward videos|The PS3 was later destroyed by his own hand]].

===Emails===
====Chris is an inconsiderate jackass====
{{Email|July 20, 2010 - 6:00pm

Hey Chris, just wondering if you got my email? I kind of wish you would check in with me shortly after I reply; I know you're probably busy plotting the [[cwcki]]'s demise but it only takes a couple minutes and I give you the same courtesy.

Jackie}}

====Don't worry, the Saw films are fake. Also, vitamins====
{{EmailReply|July 20, 2010 - 7:24pm

Hey, Jackie. I apologize for not replying sooner; I had a busy yesterday; I had a doctor's appointment, a meeting with [[Rocky]], and a few other errands; I hadn't a chance to check my e-mail yesterday. I will make time to check my e-mail more daily.

Also, that is very interesting about the Cwcki, "J.J." will have to take them up on their inside-info offer. ;)

Canada is a good place, I hear, especially Toronto. I look forward to seeing the photos from your trip later on.

I went out to Food Lion earlier today for some more [[cat]] food today, then I noticed that the next-door Movie Gallery (been working on clearing themselves out for Going Out of Business); up to 90% Off their stuff. They're on their Last 3 Days from today, so I estimate that their last day will be either Friday or Saturday. I bought a Blu-Ray movie I rented before that was a good one, "[[Wikipedia:Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist|Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist]]", for $2.99. In case you haven't seen it, it's a story of a boy and his crew going on the road in pursuit of a hard-to-find band. The girl at first sides with the boy to pretend he was her boyfriend, then she follows them on their trip on the common goal. Throughout the movie, the boy and girl catch feelings towards each other; it is fun and sweet. :)

I'm not sure, but have we talked before of favorite movies between us? Mine is "[[Mary Poppins]]"; I also enjoyed "[[Cole Smithey|Toy Story]]". I also take in a dash of heavy action, horror and such. I've seen [[Wikipedia:Saw (franchise)|all 6 "Saw" movies]]; once you've gotten used to the "Hollywood Magic" and understand that the blood and lost parts are all fake, the ONLY response you can look forward to from yourself is purely the surprise and suspense. I also remembered we talked a bit of the XXX porn, but I won't go further into that until you feel cool talking about it.

The doctor's appointment yesterday was just a check-up; I get them every 4 months. The current blood work shows me [[Chris and health|healthy and well]]. I've been taking a prescription to keep my [[stress]] levels down since my teenage years (felt like almost forever). One month a year or so ago, I went without the paroxitine, because I did not fully grasp the reasons WHY I needed it. On the one hand, I did feel more confident without it, but on the other, I ended up feeling more stress attacks that really got to me. I felt a spot or two of chest pains from that. So I went back onto it after that month. I also take vitamins A, D3, Iron, Zinc and Fish Oil.

I'll wrap it up for now. I will continue to be thinking fondestly of you and counting the days to our meet.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Pink Flamingos and thyroid conditions====
{{Email|July 20, 2010 - 8:40pm

Hey Chris! No problem, I just like hearing from you. Sounds like you had a busy day. I haven't seen Nick and Nora but I heard good things about it. I've seen the first three saw movies but not the latter three; I'm not really a huge horror fan. My favorite movie of all time is probably "[[DivineTrial|Pink Flamingoes]]", it's a guilty pleasure of mine, you should really check it out.

So you take stress medication? So have you had like a medical condition or something? Like what kind of stress do you have that you need the medication for? I know someone who has a bad thyroid condition and needs medication every day or she could get a potentially fatal hormone imbalance, they actually didn't discover it until she was like 16, and the doctor at the time said her thyroid was all swollen up and she was lucky she hadn't already died from it. What kind of condition is yours? I really wish you could go to [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]] like you were planning, a nice trip like that would probably be good for you.

I can't wait to find out what happens when "J.J." does his video! Those fuckers have been around too long, but you can topple them if you get inside. It's gotten me all excited, so keep me appraised as stuff happens ;)

Jackie}}

====Music, paxil, and setting up a date====
{{EmailReply|July 21, 2010 - 6:04pm

"[[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|Pink Flamingoes]]"; I will check that out (find a trailer on [[YouTube]], then add the movie to my [[Netflix]] Queue).

I've just heard the voice of the [[Wikipedia:Crash Test Dummies|C.T.D.]]; WOW! That's deeep. It got to me. I heard it on Napster and downloaded two tracks for free with props to [[My Coke Rewards|mycokerewards.com]]. I'll shortly enough get their "Best Of" Album CD from Plan9 or somewhere. For now, I have "[[Wikipedia:Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm|Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm]]" and "Paralyzed" (from their latest album, "[[Wikipedia:Oooh La La!|Oooh La La]]"). I enjoy recommendations from other people as well as my own choices. Of course, you know I like [[Britney Spears]] and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|the Backstreet Boys]]. I also recommend songs from [[Wikipedia:Celtic Thunder|Celtic Thunder]] and [[Wikipedia:Celtic Woman|Celtic Women]], the [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]] ("Lift Up Your Eyes") and [[Wikipedia:Yngwie Malmsteen|Yngwie Malmsteen]]. Also, check out Tiga's "(Far From) Home", Galactic's "I Got It (What You Need)" and [[Wikipedia:Wyclef Jean|Wyclef Jean]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Carnival Vol. II: Memoirs of an Immigrant|Fast Car]]". I've got a big playlist. :)

I take the medication for [[Stress]] in General; no fancy names or such. But as I have stated earlier, the [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paroxitine]] does keep my stress levels down; if not for it, I probably would have [[death|died]] sooner from stress.

Another detail that has slipped my mind, and lost in the e-mails somewhere, how old are you (I'm uncertain; was it 19 or 22) again?

Also, let's go ahead and decided on our meeting location for after you return to VA; I want it to be very clear and final between you and me; no repeat of the last missed time. This time, let's concentrate in a smaller location; the mall is too big.

Let's Plan for the ***Starbucks***, Next to the [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]], nearby the closing Mattress King, at the Shopping Center with the China King Buffet, Advance Auto Parts and Staples, Across from the [[Fashion Square Mall]].

Please confirm for me that you understand and know where that Starbucks is. We will schedule the Date and Time after you're certain of the return date in [[August 2010]]. I will keep a bunch of money aside for our time togther, so I can make most certain you and I can have a great time together, and to accommodate for edibles and drinks. If we make the date on a Friday, we can partake of the [[Fridays After Five|Fridays After 5]] Concert of that day, plus I'll keep an eye in [[The Hook Cafe|the "Hook"]] for similar events for other options.

Perhaps "[[Wikipedia:Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist|Nick and Norah]]" can be our first "Movie Night" Movie together. ;)

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====The trolls plan to get rid of the PS3!====
{{Email|July 21, 2010 - 7:19pm

Hey Chris!

I'm glad you're downloaded Crash Test Dummies! Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm is my favorite of their songs, I feel like it just has such a powerful message. I know you mentioned Celtic Woman before, I still haven't checked them out yet. I'll check out those other bands, too.

I'll plan on that Starbucks, the one right across from the Fashion Square Mall, I google-mapped it just to make sure I know the right location. I'm still not sure on the exact day I'll be back but I'll keep you posted.

I'm curious if you've got a good plan for that video? I was reading the JenkinsJinkies page again and I noticed they said they have some plan to get rid of your [[PS3|playstation]]? That canine guy said it's all apparently legal too, I have no idea what they're talking about but I think it's not worth risking, I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. You should put together a video soon. But what will you do? Are you going to make a new youtube or something? Or did canine tell you to send it to him directly? Maybe like a full costume would help more than just a face mask, if you have something to put together. Just a thought.

TTYL,

Jackie}}

====Chris thinks their plan will be Total FAIL====
{{EmailReply|July 22, 2010 - 6:05pm

I am still diliberating on what to do against the Trolls. They're basically trying to get "Repo" Men to come in and take stuff due to debt. What they obviously are unaware of, I am paid off in my credit cards, including the one I used to buy my PS3 originally, so they they do not have a leg to stand on that plan. In their own words, it will be "Total [[fail|FAIL]]."

While I appreciate your concern of the trolls for me, I would prefer not to talk about them, and I thank you for informing me of this opportunity.

Also, I have taken notice of a Cwcki member of your name "warning people about me". While I felt crestfallen from that, I have forgiven that person of that misdeed. ;)

I've added "Pink Flamingos" to my Queue, and moved it up to #1, so I'll see it after I send back my current DVD, disc 4 of the Complete Series of "[[Wikipedia:Daria|Daria]]".

It has been quite the toaster around here lately; I have an AC in my room, I've been keeping myself hydrated, and I try to stay made in the shade while out. You've been on the road a lot this summer; I pray you've found cool rooms with Air Conditioning to stay in along the way. What kind of vehicle have you been driving/riding in during the trip? Vehicle's AC standing the scorcher weather well? There was this one time years ago, [[Barbara|my mom]] and I went to DC to check out the [[LEGO]] Imagination Celebration Truck, but "Ol' Faithful" couldn't take the heat at the apex of our trip; we had to ride back to [[Wikipedia:Culpeper, Virginia|Culpepper]] in the Tow Truck that towed our car there, meet [[Bob|pop]] and ride home from there. All in all, it was a good adventure.

Please tell me some of your stories, Jackie. :)

TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie sneaks into IRC, provides logs====
{{Email|July 22, 2010 - 7:00pm

Chris, don't have a lot of time to talk, driving around Toronto tonight. But I had the idea of sneaking into one of their [[IRC]] chatrooms to find out more info about what they're doing, because I didn't believe this playstation 3 thing, but I found out some stuff. I was only in the chatroom for a few minutes pretending to be a troll (my name is "nyycklaj") but I talked to that canine guy, this is the chatlog (the password for the log is "troll"):

http://pastebin.ca/VxvlnDjb

I had to leave because I'm so busy so I don't know if anything else was said but I think I saw quite enough. I know you said you don't want to talk about this, I can't bear to see how they treat you either but you do need to do something. Chris, they've got some foolproof plan. They may be assholes but unfortunately, they plan ahead. I think you'd better deal with this NOW. Get in that inner circle and shut them down.

I feel really bad about them doing this to you, Chris. I want you to just blow up their website and end this once and for all. Because frankly, if we're going to try to start a potential relationship I want your life to be free of this baggage when we do, or else we won't have a chance. I want this to all be behind you when I see you.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 4:02am

Well, I promise to try and see what I can do from within their Forum.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.}}

====In which Jackie demands too much of Chris====
{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 12:17pm

Well, I want to see what you do. Like I said Chris, I want this [[troll]] stuff to be done with soon. Remember, it was your lies that ruined our chances before, and you lied about things because you were so paranoid that the trolls were still slandering you. I don't want that to get in the way again. So I want you to deal with this. Please? I don't mean to sound harsh but I think it's fair of me to ask this of you.

Jackie}}
====Autism compels Chris to require specific step-by-step instruction on how to tear down the CWCki====
{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 3:39pm

It's fair enough; I had it coming.

It is one thing of me to get the inner circle entry info; I don't really comprehend specifically what I'm expected to do to "destroy them from within". To my understanding, all I have is getting information that would incriminate them, their current FAIL plan and uncensored jealousy and hatred of me from their P.O.V. Obviously, I feel I am missing a huge, detailed, instructed step of the process to allow me to feel full understanding of "The Plan to Take Down the Cwcki and the Trolls". If you have an idea of that detailed step, I would be happy to hear it.

I gtg, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

====Jackie suggests getting the access codes and hacking into the mainframe====
{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 6:10pm

Hey Chris. I didn't mean to sound harsh or anything in my last email, thanks for understanding.

I understand that you're not sure what to do. But try not to worry too much about it. I think the only thing you need to worry about right now is getting your foot in the door. Once you're in good with the trolls, you can take your time figuring out how to put them down. It's not like they'll be going anywhere, and besides, the more time you just lurk quietly among them, the more they'll trust you - they might show even more weaknesses to you, or they might reveal something that gives you a perfect idea of what to do on the spot. I think that canine guy said you might get access codes to the website's control, right? So that's one option.

My point is, I think you should just get inside right now. Once you're in, we can think of the next step - I'll help you. Just talk to me about what you find going on in there and we can brainstorm together. Sound like a plan, sweetie?

XOXO

Jackie}}

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[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 04]]

Jackie E-mails 3

2011-08-18T02:05:42Z

James Lamp-Eye: i have nothing to do, have some descriptors

{{quote|"IAM [sic] STILL A TOUGH, HETEROSEXUAL MAN, DAMMIT| Chris, laying it down}}

The following is an exchange between [[Chris]] and [[Jackie]] from 1 July to 18 [[July 2010]], wherein they rekindle their previous attraction and their [[honest]] love. We find out that Chris has posted an article on the [[CWCki]] with a fake troll account, which no doubt was some ingenious subterfuge that shocked and confused [[trolls]]. Surprisingly, we learn that this bit of sneakiness was at the request of [[Bob]], who was frustrated by a [[Burger King]] employee, whereas Chris intended to eventually use the information posted here to "catch them in the act and take their photos, lecture them and/or kick their ass(es)". The plan was, predictably, [[Fail|unsuccessful]].

===Emails===
====Jackie is unimpressed with his Flipnotes====
{{Email|July 1, 2010 - 12:16pm
Why exactly are you making a "shout out" to me in your [[flipnote]] cartoon? Why would you keep bringing me up given that you decided a long time ago that dealing with me was too much work for you?

For that matter, I wonder why you draw your silly [[Sonichu]] on these flipnotes, but when I asked you to work on your actual comic for me you ignored that too.

I just don't get why you would shout out to a girl who wasn't worth your time when you had her. I hope it isn't some ploy to convince other girls that you care about them, because they'll always be able to ask me if they want to know what your REAL priorities are. Hypocrite.

Jackie}}

====Sorry for being such a kind caring gentle person====
{{EmailReply|July 2, 2010 - 11:25am
How do you think I feel? I still feel very sorry about what had happened. Every Woman who I have been close to, Including You, always will have a place in my heart. It was a gesture of goodwill that I mention you alongside <[[Wallflower]] first name>.

Pardon me for Caring and having a Heart.

Have a good and safe day,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 2, 2010 - 7:04pm
Chris,

I guess you're right. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I guess emotions are just running high for me. I guess that's evidence that I just felt so torn by everything that happened. But I still think about you sometimes, and wonder about what could have been. How are you doing?

Jackie}}

====Chris complains about his shitty social life====
{{EmailReply|July 6, 2010 - 4:07pm

It's okay, I do not blame you; it was my errors. I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such.

I'm doing okay; I get lonely sometimes (the whole not having a [[girlfriend]] thing and whatnot). And I have gone out and try, try and try again to meet new people, but I still get held back with fear of rejection keeping me from approaching women. And I still have my mental hang-ups against [[JERKS|the majority of the male population]]; the trolls were not much help either.

I have few friends/acquaintances in real life, and [[Jackie|I refuse to start any new relationships over the internet]] (I feel paranoia over that as well). Without my needed-to-see-a-far-distance glasses, I know that I have a handsome face; if there really are any single women in C-Ville, I feel they would have seen me and at least say hey. But I am constantly unoticed in public; it makes me feel sad knowing that I am invisible even in the [[Mass debating|mass-public events]] I've been hanging around in (such as the local [[Fridays After Five|Fridays After 5]]).

Obviously I need people to come to me and they make first contact, because even with my drunken word-vomit shouts, I'm still invisible. My adult life sucks.

Things could be better for me, and I really wish my A.L. IS better.

Have a good and safe day. TTYL, 
Christian.}}

====Jackie will be in town soon====
{{Email|July 7, 2010 8:34pm
How sad! I'm so sorry things have been difficult for you. I can understand being wary of online relationships. You never really know what's going on on the other end. But you know Chris, while I am out of state most of the summer... I will, however, be in [[Charlottesville]] around the second week of August. I don't want to rush into anything, especially after our recent fight but… maybe you'd like to meet to talk or something? We could play it by ear and see what happens… :) I always did care about you Chris. I think… more then I ever have for someone else. I don't want to give up on you, on us. Just hanging out would be enough for me.

Jackie}}

====Chris offers to meet her at the mall, trolls unsurprised====
{{EmailReply|July 7, 2010 - 9:38pm

Thank you for your concern. :) I accept your offer to hang out the second week of August; it will be good to see how we would feel in each other's company. Please let me know the date(s) when you'll be in town when you have that, and we can schedule a meet maybe at [[Fashion Square]], the Downtown Mall or somewhere.

:-*

XOXOXO 
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 8, 2010 - 8:53pm
Great! I don't know all the details yet of my return but I'll keep you posted. What else is going on with you these days?

Jackie}}

====Pics plz====
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 4:24pm

I pray you're doing good. I'm faring out okay. I've been thinking of you and looking forward to our time together in August. I will do my best to show you a good and pleasant time. I feel happy we can put that mess behind us and start again on good feelings. I really want you and me to do good together. I've attached a more current photo of myself; may I have one of you in return, please?

I'll check in again later. 
Stay sweet and safe, 
XOXOXOXO 
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 4:26pm

My mistake, this one is more current.}}

====How are your trolls doing?====

{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 5:11pm

Hey Chris! I was wondering when I'd hear back from you. I'll attach a pic of me for you.

So what's been going on with you this summer? Been a while since we talked. I'm sooo glad to be done with school for the summer, I've been travelling around visiting some friends of mine in their home cities, driving cross-country, so on; it's hectic but a nice change from all that schoolwork. Like I said, coming back in early August (but still not sure on the day).

So what about you? What ever happened with that website about you? I figure they gave up and went away by now, you know those trolls have such short attention spans. What's going on with your comic? How is your family doing? Anything else going on?

Jackie}}

====Internet hiatus, loneliness, ModNation Racers====
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 5:27pm

I've read again the e-mails from you I had saved from way back then. You and I, we really did have a good connection, and I still feel the same about you as I did then. I Really want the relationship between you and me to work.

Let me update you a bit about myself. I've ended up taking down the whole [[Cwcipedia]], because of the Trolls' influences and trouble-makings. So, currently, the ONLY things on the internet about me Actually from me are my [[YouTube]], and my [[Twitter]] (when I update it). I have been trying to find peace away from the trolls. I've taken a hiatus on the comics until I find again the peace from the trolls and the inspiration. I've been more focused on real life trying to meet new people and make new friends. Recently, I've made a few new friendly acquaintances after a drink at TGIF in Forest Lakes. But before then, it's been same-old, same-old; lonely and crestfallen, leaning on my video games for comfort. I was going to go to the Otakon [[Anime]] Convention this month, but finances recently went terribly askew within the past week or two. I ended up with disappointed parents, and I was disappointed in myself.

More often, I have been doing good on the self-control and less spending, yet sometimes my impulses hit me while I am feeling emotionally weak. And on the FlipNote Hatena, the Trolls Falsely Reported my FlipNotes with Three False Descriptions each. I ended up suspended from Posting new FlipNotes onto the Hatena for a week, even to access it from my DSi's FlipNote Studio App. After the week was over, and I was able to again access the Hatena from my DSi, I had previously unlinked my DSi from my past account and relinked it to a New account with a different name. Thank God the Trolls nor anyone else have found my new account or reposted F.N.s in the Practice Channel; they appear as Spin-Offs from my original account, even though those same Original F.N.s are mostly Still Locked from remixing and spin-offing.

I have also been working in [[ModNation Racers]], unlocking EVERY Tool to best recreate my [[Cwcville]] Track I had created originally in the limited-time Beta, along with a 2.0 Version of the Track. I will be creating a Final, BEST version of the Track, where it will be like you're actually driving from the Mall, through the Suburbs, and the City and Back again. Followed by a set of tracks for Around Cwcville, including a Race through the Park, Cwcville Forest, the Mountains, and the Beach (with probably a drive through [[Bubbles]]' Undersea Area if I can swing it). I also have created Official Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] Mods/Karts, along with recreated favored Hot Wheels cars from my collection, my favorite Childhood Playskool First Transformer Race Carcomplete with eyes-only driver, and an inspired Carriage that states that I enjoy Pretty [[Toys]] and Femenine Things like Tea parties, yet "[[Homos|IAM STILL A TOUGH, HETEROSEXUAL MAN, DAMMIT!]]" I got the idea from another MNR player, who I added later as a friend, who created a rainbow-colored van that states, "I'M NOT GAY, I JUST ENJOY RAINBOWS(and UNICORNS)". He and I also shared a conversation in which he was a great listener; I later thanked him for being a good friend to me by sending him an extra [[PSN]] Code for the Kratos and Gopher Mods/Karts Ihad got for free. :)

Going back to the Trolls, they still come after me in real life, looking to snap photographs of me wherever I am away from my house if they're there at the same time; looking for some "juicy footage" they can misinterpret and misdetail in their own sick ways. They get posted on the damn [[Cwcki]], where such "footage of the Gay Trucker will be rewarded with '[[China]]' and/or '[[Pickle]]s'"; it really ticks me off. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:(

And I finally was able to apply for a job at the New Wal-Mart in Ruckersville Online about a week ago; it took a while before the correct store address was added onto the website. So, I'm hoping they'll call me back to hire me. :)

But enough about me. What have you been up to during the summer months now; still working the part-time school paper? Have you been getting good grades in your courses towards Journalism? Are you still playing piano, football, your dad's car talk and enjoying the Crash Test Dummies? And how are your family and roomates doing as well?

We have a lot to catch up on between you and me. :)

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO 
Christian.}}
====The CWCki and the "coffee place"====
{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 6:25pm

Hey, Chris!

I went to look around at the cwcki. It looks like they've been following you at that Fridays After Five place? Seems weird that they want to just get pictures of you there. I did see the video they made where you're dancing to the music though, looks kind of cute :) But you weren't kidding when you said they're following you around everywhere - I saw they have an article on the "coffee place", the picture shows it's a Burger King. That is the one you go to! I can't believe they could sneak in so close to you and do that! Do you know who might have taken that picture?

I don't suppose you have an account there, do you? I think you can just sign up and they let you in. You could try removing some stuff that you don't like, or something, I don't know. Do you have any ideas?

It's good that you're cutting down on the video game spending, that stuff can suck you in if you aren't careful. But you're playing Modnation racers? I've heard of that game, but haven't tried it. You're making Sonichu-themed stuff in it? I hope that helps to give you inspiration for drawing. It really sucks if you can't go to Otakon, I've heard that's a fun place. Are you sure you can't go? I think it'd be a really fun experience for you. I'd love to hear about it if you did.

Like I said, I've spent the summer driving state to state visiting friends, I'm in Michigan right now. Never really done that, traveling so much like that, I'm glad I got the chance to. Working at the paper is fun but I'm definitely taking time off for now. That's great about applying at [[Wal-Mart]], let me know how that goes!

This is nice, I like talking to you again :)

Jackie}}

====Meet Chris's troll persona====
{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 7:05pm

I'm happy that you're happy talking to me again. :)

As for the Cwcki and [[The Coffee Place|Burger King]], That was my doing, actually. Long-story short, there was a bitchey employee giving me and my father a hard time that day, as well as a few other times on previous other days and times (on an estimated 3/10 ratio). My father was really ticked off at her, Literally Told me to Troll her, while I was also angry at her, so I took that picture with my DSi's inner camera and started that page as "JenkinsJinkies". I also thought the page would lure the Trolls out there, so I can catch them in the act and take their photos, lecture them and/or kick their ass(es). Obviously they did not come out there, but the "14-year old Middle Child of Boston with Grandparents in South Virginia" earned [[Clyde Cash]]'s Trust and Support. I later consulted with [[Rocky]] (the Pastoral Counsoler of my [[church]]); both of which see no point of taking their picture back for a) even provided to the [[Police]], they would not be able to nail them for Legally Taking Photographs. And b) even in a blackmail attempt, NONE of the Trolls would give a rat's ass on what each of their own kind looks like in real life. And Rocky insisted I wait for Police Instruction to go Undercover and lure them out.

I am trusting you with this Confidential Information of "JenkinsJinkies"; please do not tell anyone else about it.

Also, to remove content in huge chunks would be too obvious, and then at least Clyde would be like, "Oh, HE is Obviously Chrissy; BLOCK HIM. I am sorry for ever trusting him." And at the moment, I am short on ideas, and I'd just assume ignore them; stuff is being deleted for lack of new information anyway. I lured out one last Friday at the Pavillion, obviously. I SHOULD have gone after him in pursuit, but the only plan I had programmed in my head in response is take their picture with my DSi. I have reprogrammed my mind to pursue after lure, yell for a policeman, and have him arrested for Taking Photographs at the Pavillion during Fridays After 5. On their Triangular, Red Column, they have a rules list, which includes, "No Cameras or Videotaping are Permitted". I am positive I'll lure out the same guy from Last Friday; I only got a brief look at his face, but I am positive [[Blanca|I'd recognize him]] on future sight.

Something else I haven't told you yet, I have been collecting the State Quarters after my Aunt Herriet sent me a [[USA]] Quarter Map, with slots for each of the 50 quarters, for a present years ago. I have it tacked near my bedroom door, so I can point out Michigan and see how far you are from home. :)

You and yours stay safe on the trip. :)

TTYL, 
Christian.}}

====You totally have them fooled====
{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 7:44pm

Hey Chris,

That was you on the burger king thing? I had no clue. I get what you're trying to do though, nice and sneaky.

I agree with Rocky that just catching people taking photos wouldn't get anywhere, the police wouldn't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't think the cops could do anything regardless, and even if you did get one photographer in trouble with the cops there would always be more with cameras. But I think there are some other things you can do.

Your secret is safe with me about JenkinsJinkies. I read the [[User Talk:JenkinsJinkies|talk page]], looks like you have them hook line and sinker. But it also looks like they're giving you an in, have you read it? That [[asperchu]] comic guy is making fun of you for taking time off of your comic for inspiration (now that I read more of his writing, he seems like kind of a major asshole), but also the trolls say that they're giving you an opportunity to get inside their hidden website and get all their codes and stuff. More than just that, you can get access to their plans. You know if you could get that stuff, you could probably nuke their whole website, without that the trolls would have nowhere to go.

Some guy named "canine" (who names themselves after a dog? How dumb) said that they want you to make a secret video for them, but since "JenkinsJinkies" says he is afraid of your wrath, they'll let you wear a mask, so you can conceal your identity!I kind of think that's the best way to go, because like I say even if the cops bust one troll there are a million more around the corner, but if you mess up their base of operations they'll all lose power.

I'll stay safe on my trip, don't worry :) I'm leaving Michigan tomorrow, going to drive through Canada for a little bit actually, go to Toronto. But I still get email on my phone so we can still talk. Write back soon :)

Jackie}}

{{succession
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|prevlink = [[Jackie E-mails 2]]
|nextlink = [[Jackie E-mails 4]]
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{{emails}}

[[Category:Jackie E-mails| 03]]

Best Buy

2010-09-23T04:15:11Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{taxpayermoney}}
'''Best Buy''' is where Chris spends yet more of his [[tugboat]] money on games, [[PSN]] cards and other [[PS3]] accessories. On 22 [[September 2010]], [[Clyde Cash]] leaked a zip file loaded with Chris's Best Buy invoices. Much like his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex store purchases]], Chris appears to prefer buying things which involve a discount or promotion.

== List of documented purchases ==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
!align="left"|Date Purchased
!align="left"|Description
!align="left"|Type
!align="left"|Price
|-
|27 September 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$15.00
|-
|6 October 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$20.00
|-
|6 October 2009
|'''Rock Band Unplugged - PSP'''
|PSP Game
|$29.99
|-
|6 October 2009
|'''Internal 500GB 2.5" SATA Hard Drive'''
|Hardware
|$99.99
|-
|6 October 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$6.50
|-
|14 October 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|14 October 2009
|'''The Haunted World of El Superbeasto'''
|Blu-ray Disc
|$14.99
|-
|14 October 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$0.75
|-
|17 October 2009
|'''Brütal Legend - PlayStation 3'''
|PS3 Game
|$59.99
|-
|17 October 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|17 October 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$3.00
|-
|20 October 2009
|'''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen'''
|Blu-ray Disc
|$21.99
|-
|20 October 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$1.10
|-
|29 October 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|6 November 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|6 November 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|6 November 2009
|'''PlayStation Eye USB Camera for PlayStation 3'''
|Hardware
|$39.99
|-
|6 November 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$2.00
|-
|15 November 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|22 November 2009
|'''LittleBigPlanet Collectible Art PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$5.00
|-
|24 November 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|3 December 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|3 December 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|3 December 2009
|'''Nintendo Wii 2,000 Points Card'''
|Gamecard
|$19.99
|-
|3 December 2009
|'''Nintendo Wii 2,000 Points Card'''
|Gamecard
|$19.99
|-
|3 December 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$2.00
|-
|7 December 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|8 December 2009
|'''Fairytale Fights'''
|PS3 Game
|$19.99
|-
|8 December 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$1.00
|-
|14 December 2009
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|16 December 2009
|'''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune Greatest Hits'''
|PS3 Game
|$29.99
|-
|16 December 2009
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$1.50
|-
|29 December 2009
|'''Saints Row 2'''
|PS3 Game
|$2.99
|-
|29 December 2009
|'''Gran Turismo'''
|PSP Game
|$11.99
|-
|3 January 2010
|'''Red Faction: Guerrilla'''
|PS3 Game
|$19.99
|-
|3 January 2010
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$1.00
|-
|4 January 2010
|'''The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena'''
|PS3 Game
|$9.99
|-
|4 January 2010
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$0.50
|-
|22 January 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$5.00
|-
|24 January 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|3 February 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$15.00
|-
|4 February 2010
|'''Nintendo Wii 2,000 Points Card'''
|Gamecard
|$19.99
|-
|4 February 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($10)'''
|Gamecard
|$10.00
|-
|3 March 2010
|'''SanDisk - 8GB Memory Stick PRO Duo Memory Card''
|Hardware
|$34.99
|-
|3 March 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$20.00
|-
|3 March 2010
|colspan="2"|Tax
|$1.75
|-
|21 March 2010
|'''PlayStation Network Card ($20)'''
|Gamecard
|$20.00
|}

There is an invoice for what appears to be a cancelled transaction on 9 February 2010, for a $19.99 Nintendo Wii 2,000 Points Card. It's possible that Chris's credit card was declined on this occasion, and the fact he didn't purchase anything from Best Buy for nearly a month after would indicate that this was the case.

=== Gas Chris wasted driving to Best Buy ===
* Miles to get to Best Buy [[Charlottesville]]: 11.7 miles (19 km)
** Round trip: 23.4 miles (38 km)
* Number of trips Chris made: ~43 (+1 day he didn't manage buy anything)
* Estimated mpg of [[Son-chu]]: 27mpg (11.5 km/L)
* Total distance travelled: 1,006.2 miles (1,619 km)
* Total gas used: 37.27 gallons (143 L)
* Estimated gas price: $2.60/gallon (69c per litre)
* Total amount Chris spent on gas getting to & from Best Buy: $96.89

== Chris's dealings with Best Buy support ==
Included in the leaked documents was the contents of a support email Chris sent to Best Buy, regarding a "10 Dollar Certificate" which had been redeemed without his consent. While Chris got a pretty standard response to his email, we once again get a glimpse about what happens you come between a manchild and his [[tugboat|free money]].
{{Quoteboxgreen|Original Message Follows:
------------------------
FirstName 
CHRISTIAN 
LastName 
CHANDLER 
Email 
CHRISCHANSONICHU@AOL.COM 
MemberID 
0400450047 
Reason for Contact 
Status 
Question or Concern 
I had just logged onto My RewardZone account on the 21st of December to check on
it, only to find my Points had been redeemed for a 10 Dollar Certificate WITHOUT
my approval or Personal Action. It shows that the points were redeemed and the
certificated printed on the 20th; I did not log in on the 20th at all. I think
someone got into my account and redeemed my points and printed the certificate.I
WANT MY 10 DOLLAR CERTIFICATE!Please respond quickly. Thank you.}}
{{Quoteboxred|Christian,
I apologize for the confusion. Your account is set up to automatically issue a
certificate when you account reaches 250 points so it issued a $10 certificate
automatically on Sunday. There is a 3-5 wait before the certificates can be
printed so they will be ready on Friday.

Sorry for the inconvenience

Thank you for contacting Best Buy Reward Zone
Have a good day}}

== Download ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?jqqje1258c603a9 Invoice ZIP file]

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

User:James Lamp-Eye/Collection

2010-08-21T21:41:01Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{Apocrypha}}
This is where I keep some posts from PVCC and /cwc/ that I think contain insight on Chris. Don't take any of it as fact, but these are interesting to read anyhow.
==From PVCC==
===High School===
Developmentally, in some ways, Chris has caught up to that 16 year old self he wasn't back then. He thinks that if he went back to those days now, he'd be some pimp. Since he graduated, he hasn't made any friends and he hasn't had anything happen to him other than the constant cycle of video games/sleep/mcdonalds/video games/sleep. All he can concentrate on is his highschool years and when he had people who raised his self esteem (teachers, fellow students attempting to be nice).

He does long for companions, such as when he went to that monster truck (?) event. He went by himself and probably saw all the men laughing and hanging out together. When he saw that couple, that probably pushed him over the edge, that he was truly alone. Once again, a jerk had a sweetheart and he didn't. He was miserable. It isn't his fault though! If he had stayed at his high school home, his friends would still be with him and he'd have a sweetheart and his PS3 and life would have been perfect. --TruthReturns
===Achievements===
In the last 10 years probably even more(I'd say 15 years) Chris has had so little proper contact he doesn't understand him self in comparison to anyone else other than the hollow pity-"praise" he gets from parents and guardians. Which he probably sees as compliments to his greatness. So when his mother calls him smart, that means he thinks he's smarter than almost anyone.

Also I'd like t note the videogames, his collection seemed weird. Most of his titles were crappy, player friendly literally-baby games. We can also see that he's inept at LBP platforming despite how much he plays it. He plays Guitar hero as much with his 24/7 free time and can't even do expert mode despite years of playing.

I'd like to make a comparison to his life, Which was metaphorically set to easy mode. Chris got on the honour roll for doing remedial courses. He got obscene amounts of praise for trivial things because he was (high functioning)autistic and because he didn't have any real friends throughout school he was oblivious to the fact that his accomplishments weren't as grand as his parents, teachers and "gal pals" said they were.

He also got away with a lot of things like sleeping in class. His outbursts always being someone elses fault, all sorts.It probably lead on from there because here was a guy who wasn't actually doing too well being showered with endless praise without any criticisms. --Drlugae

:That, and also I would say the entire family is into self-aggrandizing, probably as a way to compensate for having such unimportant, miserable lives. For example, they (not only Chris, but Barb and Bob as well as seen on the e-mails to Nintendo and the conversation with Emily) seem to feel the need to mention to everyone that Bob has one patent and that he came up with the controls for plastic molding machines, without which "there would be no Nintendo or plastic bottles or anything".

:Nevermind that, 99.9% sure, Bob's boss told him "hey, we need some controls for that new machine we're building, get on it" and if Bob hadn't come up with the design, some other guy would have. He didn't invent anything revolutionary, he just did his job and that was it. I wrote a formula in Excel this morning that compared the values in several cells and performed an operation only if certain conditions were met. Maybe I should patent my formula and then I could claim that without it, you couldn't balance your checkbook correctly.

:Likewise, Barb was not just a secretary, she was an "Executive Assistant at Bumfuck Regional Bank Collections Center" or something like that. They always want to make it sound like she had more authority and importance than she really had. --El Misto

===Chris's understanding of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic11P2.jpg humor]===
Regular obnoxious people would just quote Family Guy in situations where it's neither appropriate or funny. Chris will quote Family Guy in situations where it's neither appropriate or funny and has horrible, horrible implications.

So if a character in Family Guy playing the Virgin Mary says a one-liner about not being a virgin, it's okay for any of your characters playing the Virgin Mary to quote that one-liner verbatim, even if your character is seven years old. Or three years old.

Chris doesn't really understand humor beyond characters saying "silly" or "dirty" things. He's not even good at repeating jokes he's heard. He just knows that if he puts a bunch of video game characters together and they tell jokes he's heard on TV he likes the result.

Also, he's going against the tone of his story to make this joke. Sonichu and Rosechu aren't (intentionally) supposed to sick and dysfunctional, it's supposed to be cute and heartwarming, especially in this Christmas story. So, if a prepubescent character makes a sex joke or he shows Sonichu lurking in the garage, silently ogling Rosechu's ass it comes off as weird and disturbing, although Chris meant for these moments to be funny and romantic, respectively. Also Chris doesn't know how to flirt either so when he's ogling or groping women he thinks it's an appropriate sign of affection.

tl;dr: Chris doesn't understand fellow humans so any jokes he tries to make are horrifying. --Anaconda

===What's the cause of autism, Chris?===
I swear in one of the Mumbles, Chris admits autism is certainly genetic ("has a genetic component" or "factor" or something. Memory's slightly fuzzy, but). I think it was the Father Call, months later, that he said it being genetic was only a myth. I thought he was deliberately lying to get away with making tard babies with Kay-cee's vagina, and now it looks like he really does believe it's not genetic.

Then again, he said Roach started his Autism first of all.

-> Autism caused by being locked in a room full of toys
-> Autism certainly genetic
-> Autism is not genetic, for no apparent reason
-> Autism caused by vaccines

Feels like I'm forgetting something here. --Huegbox
:You forgot the fact that it was pointed out to him that excessive television viewing can also be the cause. He tried to write that off as differnt from "natural autism" and was told off for it.

:Let me find the post...

{{quotebox|Then told Chris there have been studies linking watching too much television to autism. Chris then pulled out of his ass that those people had ARTIFICIAL AUTISM which is different from NATURAL AUTISM. He quickly got corrected on that.}}

:So yeah, not only does he have a long and confusing list of things he claims are responsible for autism, he also claims there are different types of autism. Kind of a multiple flavours sort of thing.. --Fuckinstupid

::Damn... if there's a proof that Chris's head is literally empty, with nothing in it but Seth McFarlane, Sonichu and Fiddle Bitch Blanket, it's this. --Da_Nuke

===Chris will never work===
Folks, we all remember the proposition made by fuckingstupid, to review games for a blog and get paid.

He could work at home and continue to do what he does best, play games, hell even review LBP, and get paid for it, but no, he turned it down.

Lets put this in perspective people, a little pile of money got up and walked over to him and pleaded
"please take me, and continue life as normal, just link your review to a blog"

and Chris replied

"No, no, no, your not good enough for me to take, plus its too much work to take you and stuff you in my pocket, go away foul bastion of commerce!"

What the fuck people? He's so stupid, it makes me wonder if he's just crazy. This is laziness to such a an extent its the very definition of Sloth.

We're all laughing now, and I'm there with you, but honestly I've become ok with the idea of Chris becoming homeless in years to come. I have a feeling that tugboat won't last for the rest of his life, somehow, when his parents are both gone, he'll find a way to lose it. By then, none of us will know, Chris will be some ancient afterthought residing back in the far reaches of our memories.
And Chris has not gained enough good karma, if any, up to this point of his life for the universe to save him when the time comes when he needs help.

The way I see it, almost every trolling effort, if not all, has in some way been an attempt to help Chris, teach him a lesson. More recently, Crass brought up the employment situation with him, asked him his plans for the future, and its apparent these are not things that concern him in any way.

With all that said, Chris will never seriously seek active employment on his own behalf, much less for anyone else. I can see a few things happening in the future for Chris, with what could be perceived as an unfair outcome for most of us here.

His parents pass away, not at once, but a year apart. He receives and inheritance in the form of their life insurance, but these are put into a trust which pays Chris a small stipend each month. His lawyer or whomever is in charge of this trust pays the house bills, which belongs to Chris now, from that trust.
Chris remains unchanged for years, until his demise.

Its unfair that Chris remains in a state of ignorant bliss with no care in the world, despite those he makes up on his own. But keep in mind, he will have no family, no heirs, and no love in his future. If anything, I wouldn't be surprised to find out if he found a way to blow his inheritance, or someone takes it all away from him. There are many Joshua Martinez's out there in the world, both male and female.

And thats why I feel Chris will never work another day in his life, even if his tugboat is taken away from him as fuckingstupid suggested, I doubt he ever will.

He'll always be happy being unemployed dreaming of little yellow electric hedgehogs racing across CWCville carrying his daughter to him. --Reved2k

===What can break Chris?===
If there's one good thing I have to say about Chris, he kinda of has a goku get-em attitude. Nothing can keep him down, even if he does occasionally rage about jerkops and Megan. Except he's so resilient, he's immune to learning from his mistakes (Although he's learned to say he does. Tiny difference, I know.)

He doesn't understand death.
He doesn't understand that actions have consequences.
He doesn't understand human emotions.
He doesn't understand why he gets in trouble.
He boggles my mind when I think about it too hard, about how he has learned things beyond where his mouth is so he can shovel crap in it. I'm amazed he can even use computers when I try to wrap my mind around his.

I've said before, I think a really big part of the Kacey saga's success has to do with the happy ending. He doesn't realize they're trolls, and I hope he never does. It should be easy to keep him thinking that, anyway. They're not dead either, and I hope they have a happily ever after for ever and ever. All it takes to make Chris stop giving a shit is have the other party be revealed as slanderous trolls or dead, and that brings them down to the same level of validity in his mind.

Although it was for the same reason a little kid cries because he didn't get the toy car he wanted, it did bother him enough to cry in front of the camera. Yes, it was mostly exaggerated, but there was a very small amount of real tears. I don't know if he cried over Megan leaving him. I don't know if he did cry about Patti's death, I'll bet he cried a little and then did his Donald Duck impression. When Barb dies and they notice after a week or so, he might cry a bit more that the one person who didn't give him a whole lot of Stress has left and he doesn't know when she'll be back, but he'll probably stop caring after another week. Actually, I can't say what I'll guess. He was pretty reluctant to visit her in the hospital, and he's heartless, so he'll probably *SIGH* and whine about the heavy burden and use it as an excuse for erratic behavior in the future. On the other hand, who knows, it might shake him up.

The Liquid saga was also most excellent because I think it prodded a very sensitive area that probably is the most sensitive area, his very identity. He's so obssessed with himself, it makes perfect sense. He sure bitched about all the fake merchandise, but Liquid + Kacey really got him pissed. His top priority is having a Mommy He Can Fuck, far above a Sonichu franchise, and far above Crystal.

But even still, he cried a bit on camera, milked it for all it was worth, and the very next day he's bragging about a piece of paper. It didn't keep him down. It probably didn't even shake him up for more than a few hours. I think a field agent or someone a while back said that the Chris Rage we see is usually not genuine (I swear, in all those videos where he's just going "HRRRRRRRGH RAAAAAARGH" he's got this shit-eating cheshire cat grin. He doesn't even look angry! What kind of facial expression is that?!), though I think his NOW NOW NOW NOW NOOOOWWW video had some true, honest emotions. Probably because it was his parents pressuring him, and since they're still more human than he is, they were bothered enough to have it getting on their nerves for more than a day, and so they bothered him. It had to be constant pressure coming from the outside.

The Father Call showed two triggers; calling him fat, and calling him lazy. I'm not really amused by calling him gay anymore, because it's always the same thing for years. These two are fresh (Well, calling him fat is getting a response where it would be largely ignored in the past. He e-yelled at Viv and some other person, but in the Mumbles he seemed to ignore it.) and probably unexplored as far as disgusting entertainment from him goes.

It's way too bad he'll never be able to see what he looks like. He might get a vague idea if Barb tells him what a horrible freak he is, but that will never happen. When Kacey kept telling him why he sucked, he still thought it had more to do with Liquid claiming to be him.

Anyway, I've deduced that stealing his identity, cockblocking him, and calling him fat and lazy seem to get on his nerves more than anything. Perhaps his stressors can be cycled? Eventually, he should get desensitized to some things, right? Right? --Huegbox

*I disagree. The Real Chris' Top Priority Hurr Durr is [[Little Big Planet|LITTLE PIG BLANKET]]. Or any vidya he latches on. All other things he desires are instruments to ensure the existence of that priority or deriatives from that. He needs a second fuckable Mommy because someone needs to feed him and look after him ensuring he can play 10 hours a day. He wants a Sonichu franchise because it would allow him to feel MORE related to vidya than buying all the games and items on dat pstriple. He doesn't really want china. Chris had been raised on video games. They're centrefold of his reality - from them he learns social cues, music, practical skills and knowledge. He wants to LIVE a videogame, and that's why he's unbreakable - he treats life as a game, and what do you do when you fail at a game? - you repeat the same repetative actions over and over untill a slight difference in the speed of which you press the buttons does the trick. You get killed, then respawn, to go and do the same shit. Games are the only thing Chris feels comfortable around, so no wonder he's a fucking robot. He doesn't want say, Kacey because he needs to get laid or get in a relationship. He isn't raging because a piece of china is drifting away. No. He rages because he's losing, because he cannot complete the level. When accused of being lazy, he rages because someone attacks his crucial achievements and save points, not because it questions his worth as a human. And etc. And, on the account of running his life, all the love QUEST, he's pretty much succeeds - he gets it all. Conflict, action, villains, and NPCs. So don't sweat it. The only thing that could break Chris is if all his consoles, pseye, computer and cards were to be taken away. --Sawnichu

===Chris is finished with Sonichu===
I think we can all agree that Chris's main goal with the comic is to entertain himself. Achieving fame and china may also be motives, but he thinks so highly of himself that he seems to think if he tosses everything he can out in the open, people will see his inner genius/beauty/whatever and adore him for it automatically.

Anyway, I think he's taken the entire Sonichu project as far as he possibly can and that's why he's dragging his feet with the comics and needs "sweethearts" to be motivated. Not just because he's lazier than ever. He's always been pretty lazy, but his excitement for Sonichu is no longer strong enough to overcome it. He's done everything he set out to do with Sonichu and is now left with nothing.

Take for example, Sonichu and Rosechu's relationship. He's drawn/told everything from them first meeting, their first kiss, FUCKING, and then recently revealing (in a single image) they were married (in his imagination) a long ass time ago, and they have 3 kids. That's it. He can't develop Sonichu and Rosechu's relationship any further (except maybe having them die together) and that was one of his favorite parts of his comic.

He's also used his comics as a vehicle for vengeance against those who've "wronged" him (mostly those who protected innocent people from him) in real-life. This is a continuous problem with trolling, and I'm sure he felt better as he was making those, but in the end, it doesn't erase the painful memories of what really happened.

Little Big Planet gave Chris a chance to create a Sonichu game of sorts, but it was shitty (awful design), boring (just a retread of the first comic), and level-layout was clearly made up on the fly. Chris was probably discouraged from making a Sonichu game when he realized making a fun/good-looking game is a conscious effort and not simply a mish-mash of vague ideas (which Sonichu seems to be about generally). Again, Sonichu has left Chris feeling unfulfilled.

There's still a few things unresolved in the comic, but I don't Chris cares about them at all.
-Defeating Slawheel. He no longer hates MLW (I'll believe it. His mom convinced him the signs were stupid anyway, and there's been plenty of trolls who pissed him off worse since then).
-Magichan/Silvana. Magichan always seems to get shafted (despite appearing the most powerful after Chris), and Silvana's reletively new so I don't think he's all that attached to either of them. It's also possible Chris may have been disappointed by one of the other relationships he threw together when it didn't give him the same "high" he seems to get from Sonichu/Rosechu or Blake/Bubbles. If such is the case, he'd definitely have less enthusiasm when it came to pairing Magichan off.
-Darkbind/Zelina. Since Dakbind never really appears again, I'm guessing Chris's interest in him simply didn't pan out. Zelina's kind of pointless as they need to find the sonichu balls to rescue Crystal.
-Crystal. Why should Chris care? She's just girl-him (even Chris doesn't need two Christian Weston Chandlers in his comic), only more two-dimensional because she fits Chris's narrow view of women. He doesn't need her to support his character in battle (he has 80 bajillion hedgehogs for that) and he doesn't need her for moral/emotional support either (he could get that from his sweetheart of the week). Also, trapping her in the mirror dimension didn't evoke "SUCH TENDER FEELINGS" in the real-life Megan like he had probably hoped it would when he showed her the comic. Crystal had failed her brother.

In conclusion, I think Chris is finished with Sonichu. Anything he could have Sonichu do to entertain him has already been done, and half the time, Chris may have not been satisfied with the end result. I also think the 3 babies and transformers were attempts to revitalize Chris's ardour for drawing the comic, but clearly they didn't work. However, since this is the guy who saves his FUCKING WISDOM TEETH, he's never going to let go of his precious baby and admit he just doesn't care anymore, or take off that fucking medallion for good.

Now I ask you, is there any reason why Chris would want to draw more comics without outside interference? What in his man-child mind and interests could possibly be left to do with Sonichu? What stories are left to tell that isn't just wrapping up loose ends? --[ J ]

===Chris likes sympathy===
*"Chris is trying a method he's probably seen in many movies. He's trying to get sympathy, where a main character of a romantic comedy in the usualy serious situation where their lover falls in love with the richer or smarter villain/anti-hero characr. The main character would say "I'm fine with your choice, choose person X if you think you'll really happy with them and I will respect your choice either way" then the love interest will eventually find that the main character is the better man/woman for her/him. Chris thinks by saying lines like those it will guarantee him Kacey, because it works like that in the movies. He's expecting her to go with Liquid then "realise she was wrong for not choosing chris" then drag herself back to him and marry him. So they could live "happily ever after" with Kacey working and cooking and cleaning and paying bills while Chris retires from drawing comics to play video games and shit his pants all day. While Chris can acknowledge things are fiction or not real, he thinks that fiction concepts are applicable to real life (e.g. in Mumble when he said Homer & Peter Griffin survive even though they're idiots so Chris & "Julie"/Bluespike would survive living together with neither of them working)." --Drlugae
===Why does Chris hate da howmows?===
*"I doubt an extreme homosexual encounter, like being molested by someone fuels Chris hatred towards da homos. It's simpler than that. Chris is obsessed with sex and he desperately wants to stick his broken penis into a china, basically this is the only thing that motivates him. I think he's afraid potential girlfriends will believe the trolls and refuse to go out with him because they think he's gay. By Chris' fucked up logic calling him gay is sabotaging his love/fuck quest and his goal to lose his virginity so he goes full alert and enters tardrage mode. It doesn't help that kids called Chris a faggot and his parents most likely told him homosexuality is bad which is not surprising since old people like Bob and Barb hate gays because they were born into and grown up in a less tolerant society that wasn't so open about sexuality. I assume Chris is not a closet homosexual either, he's just unable to deal with homoerotic thoughts every male has once in a while, instead of moving on he panics because he believes only gay people have them and he doesn't want to be a homo since it's a bad thing, he cannot have china and the least thing he wants is to admit the trolls were right, so to keep himself straight he shows some boobies and pussy into his face by watching porn and fucking Kimmie." --Mudkips666
===Chris has no concept of what a friend is===
*"Another thing Chris has no concept of what a friend is. He has no empathy at all, and I doubt he understands other people other than 'I can fuck these and make baby, I can't fuck those.' The only reason he hates homosexuality is because he can't think beyond satisfying himself and his love (fuck) quest. Telling him to make friends with a guy is like telling him to think about penis and become gay. And for girls, he just thinks of them as walking sweet 'pussy and breasts.' Like with Kim. First he was fine, he didn't try anything because she had a boyfriend. But then he kept asking about her boyfriend and if they were having any problems. Then eventually Emiry tells him yes and, what does he do? He starts writing fucking love letters to Kim who is ''only supposed to be his friend''. He went from keeping his distance and talking to OH WOW AN OPENING, THE SWEET BREAST AND PUSSY ARENT TAKEN ANYMORE RAPERAPERAPE. Can Chris even understand the concept of friendship at all? Every girl who even does so much as to talk to him is MY LOVE QUEST IS FINALLY OVER. Not once has he ever thought, oh I'm not into this girl like that. No, every girl is a fuck target since they have the almighty uterus. I remember in middle school I knew this girl who played video games and she was like one of the bros, just a friend like anyone else. But say if Chris were in my shoes, no it'd just be another potential fuckbuddy. Goddamn it makes me rage. He doesn't give a shit about people other than what they can do for him, and since guys have a penis they're out of the picture. I can't think of a time he's genuinely cared about anyone, guy or girl. Even the few guy friends he's made were just because he thought they'd help him get laid. Maybe, just maybe if he could emphasize and actually care about people and see them as "people" not objects, he'd be (possibly 1%) less horrible of a person than he is now. Maybe he'd have a less retarded reason to hate homosexuality other than "I don't want to catch the gay" But no, he is a child. The text book definition of egocentric. In fact, this pretty much sums Chris up in a nutshell: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egocentrism And that's probably the thing I hate the most about Chris. I mean, if his brain were to somehow mature to the concrete-operational stage (which it obviously never did), and he wasn't so damn egocentric, I wonder if he'd be even half as bad as he is now." --Falsion
===Moral dilemma: given the choice between "be raped" or "rape a young girl"===
*"Let me play dumbass psychologist here. Maybe I'm wrong, there are people who know Fatty better than I do. Fatty has autism. This is not up for debate. Due to a combination of his own laziness, horrible parenting and bad special education/therapy, Fatty is unable to understand others' emotions. Fatty can't empathize with anyone. Fatty can't feel their emotions. Fatty can barely understand his own emotions. All he can understand is "feels good man" and "this is annoying/hurtful." Of course Fatty will answer "rape the young girl." Fatty knows that the other will involve him being annoyed/hurt. But Fatty can't comprehend someone being hurt. What Fatty CAN comprehend is that it is "annoying/hurtful" to be upbraided by LYLT for the wrong choice. Only sometimes he's so self-centered he can't even comprehend that. He really is retarded, you guys. He really is. [...] Chris will always pick whatever feels good to him and doesn't feel annoying/hurtful. The only time he might make a choice that seems "right" might be to avoid being annoyed/hurt any more by people telling him off... there are plenty of stories about this with Bob, for example. To me it seems pretty easy to figure out what Chris would do or what he would say. You just apply these simple parameters, and there you go." --Gusvansant
===Chris steals shit and improves it, duh===
*''The then later submitted his idea for "Simonchu"; it did not strike me as good at first.'' "Irony is so thick you could cut it." --Durpachu
**"It seems whenever Chris admits stealing something; he always has to add how he improved it, the original sucked, etc. In his Little Big Planet video, he says the big PS3 prop in the game was something he took from someone else. He then says it wasn't that good, so he made it better. Panda's Sonichu cover which he couldn't insult in any way, he still has to state in the comic that it 'was wisely chosen by me'." --Whyamideleted
===Moral development===
*"Chris has definitely not passed the stage of moral development where you don't do bad things to avoid punishment rather than understanding why they are actually bad." --Distress
===Chris's real life in the comics===
*"I'd like to see if we could try and tell Chris to put more personal info on the site instead of just his comic crap or retarded stories that aren't real. By personal info, I just mean like more anecdotes about his real life and stuff." --Bloopy
**"Chris likes living in a fantasy world where he's mayor and can transform into a hedgehog. He thinks this is HIS website. You can't gain entry into his personal details, unless, like in the Mumble chats, he's in his manic mode where he thinks he'll get laid and can't shut his mouth." --GeobuRohav
***"Pretty much. Chris' fantasy world is so intertwined with his real life events, that even if we get a new tidbit from him it will be shrouded in crazy bullshit. It's always been that way." --Megaman
===Why does Chris hate Mary Lee Walsh?===
*"I think he still hates [[Mary Lee Walsh|her]] because she was someone that actually stood up to him and let him know that his shit wasn't going to fly. She flat out told him his behaviour was unacceptable, and that it must cease immediately. Something his parents should have done years earlier. She didn't baby him, and didn't humour him or let it go. No, she made her expectations clear that he not act like a total fucktard in her college and she was in a position of authority to see that he stopped. That made him RAGE, how dare she straight up tell him what was and was not acceptable behaviour? The very idea that she was not buying into his special autistic baby shit just made his brain crack." --Dr Girlfriend
===The retarded CWC-way of doing things===
*"Chris seems to be unique in that he is pretty well developed in certain areas (communication, motor control, technical proficiency) while having huge gaps in strange places elsewhere in his personality. Most importantly, he seems to obsessively tie everything in life to video game style progressions. If he 'beats' ED, then the game will be over and all the bad things will disappear. If he follows the correct steps, then a gal-pal will become a girlfriend will become a sweetheart and he won't be lonely. Date one involves a kiss, so he tries to kiss Emily on the first date. Bob said that Chris played video games before he could even talk, so for Chris, video games provided a progressive structure that allowed life to make sense to him. When the trolls started to understand Chris' preferred progression methods, they took advantage of them and really fucked him up. This is why he falls for the same trick over and over. We call him 'selfish' because he has to do things the retarded CWC way. But the fact is, that is the ONLY way CWC is capable of operating. Chris needs to have his parents set up his life in such a way that he is able to follow the CWC way of living and have it be productive in some way. Do you really think CWC will wake up tomorrow and think 'You know what? I'm done with this Sonichu bullshit, I'm going to go apply for a job this morning.' Shit ain't gonna happen. It was really up to Barb to set Chris up in a way where he could succeed, and she blew it. He refuses to accept advice from people like Clyde Cash because it is delivered paternally, from a position of strength to one of weakness. No one likes to be talked down to like that. Not even retards." --DannyMothman
===Chris is a pervert===
*"The fact that he doesn't masturbate frequently doesn't shy away from the fact that he bought blowup dolls and posted nudes online after hardly knowing someone. Initial trollings of Chris show that he was the one who initiates the sexual stuff (take for instance the Blanca saga). I also cite his actions in the Emily trolling where he kept touching her and made that infamous comment infront of spencers. Note how he didn't do any of this while infront of Bob, so he knows what he is doing is inapproriate. He clearly can't control himself." --Xanatos
===Chris has potential to be a rapist===
*"I think Chris has potential to be a rapist if he ever managed to date a girl. Not like serial killer 'SHUT UP BITCH OR I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT UNLESS YOU SUCK MY DICK' type rapist but more like 'YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME BECAUSE I AM ENTITLED TO IT.' Imagine you're Chris (yes, it's scary). Imagine you're on an actual date - not like Megan, but with a woman who acknowledges this is an actual date and is somehow deluded to go three dates with you. It's the third date and you drive her to her place. You've known all your life that on the third date, people have sex. Not generally, for Chris, that's not how autistics work. They tend to make otherwise flexible social norms concrete so they can function - as you say, Chris's major structure for life is like that of a video game, and there's usually not major exceptions to it. In Chris's mind, the third date is when you have sex, no more, no less and he is in love with this woman so it's perfectly moral. Now he's never been on a real date (at least, one that didn't end in him getting trolled) so three dates would blow his mind, especially considering he's a 27 year old man who has never been on a date before. You're a frustrated "virgin with rage" and you feel like the world is unjust against you, denying you of true love and affection for most of your adult life, being constantly rejected by women. It'd take a troll on anyone, especially Chris. Yet now, for you, this is the moment - you have sex. It doesn't matter if she wants it, you just know that on the third date, you have sex, that is the rule, people follow rules and therefore she must follow the rule as well. So, you take what you think is yours and the next day, the newspaper headlines read 'AUTISTIC MANCHILD ARRESTED FOR RAPE.'" --Champthom
**"I agree that if he ever got to a third 'official' date, I could easily see him raping a girl who still said no. In fact, I would even go so far as to say he'd force himself on her while convincing himself that she was playing hard-to-get and he'd get fairly violent under the impression that that was what she wanted." --Sureiachan
===Chris is still a pervert===
*"Chris being a pervert and potential rapist isn't a 'misconception'. Audio recordings of his 'date' with Emily show how perverted he can get without adult supervision. Further proof can be found by anyone who's read his emails with Meghan. Several of Meghan's replies show her informing Chris she is uncomfortable with his advances, especially one where he pins her to a wall. Despite all her patience and politeness in refusing his advances, he thinks the best way to get her to fall in love with him is to draw a hideous picture of him fingering her, then putting it online. Let's not forget the 'Parappa The Rapper' contest where he flat out says he wanted to win the trip so he could have sex with Meghan in the hotel room. He also truly believes '3rd date ends in sex' is a social norm. He still uses sign tactics to try and attract women, despite Mary Lee Walsh explaining to him that any sane person would see it and assume he's soliciting sex. Last but not least, he might only masturbate twice a week, but if you can think of another adjective besides pervert to describe someone who draws furry porn, I'd like to hear it." --Dixie_demon
===Not retarded, just very stupid===
*"HE'S NOT 100% RETARDED, WE KNOW THAT. HE IS, HOWEVER, VERY, VERY, VERY DUMB. IT'S NOT A MENTAL DISABILITY, HE'S JUST FUCKING STUPID." ... "VERY FEW PEOPLE ON HERE STILL THINK HE CAN BE FIXED, EVEN THOSE WHO TRIED IN THE PAST ARE WELL AWARE HE'S A COMPLETE FAILURE AND WILL NEVER BE MORE THAN WHAT HE CURRENTLY IS. THIS ONE ISN'T A MISCONCEPTION AT THIS POINT, IT HASN'T BEEN FOR A WHILE. ONLY TOTAL NEWFAGS EVEN CONSIDER THE THOUGHT THAT CHRIS CAN BE REPAIRED, EVEN SLIGHTLY." ... "IT'S JUST FUNNY SEEING A 27 YEAR OLD GET ENRAGED BY 'YOU'RE A FAGGOT CHRIS', WHILE A MULTI-MONTH LONG, PLANNED, ELABORATE SCHEME TO GET ___ OUT OF HIM MAKES HIM GO 'OH' AND IMMEDIATELY MOVE ON WHEN IT FINALLY BLOWS UP IN HIS FACE." --BILLY MAYS
===At least we had good memories===
*"Don't get me wrong, I like the elaborate plans as I hope that Chris will totally lose his mind at the end but it seems like Chris will say 'Oh, ah well.' I believe it was about Blanca that Chris said 'Ah well, we had good memories.' At the end of this thing with Emily, Chris was just like 'Oh, did you get back to West Virginia alright?' Maybe it's eating him up on the inside but at least superficially it seems like it has no effect." --Champthom
** "That is a good point. Of course, you must remember that the ones who typically expose themselves as trolls have the fact that they are WOMEN in common. So, it makes sense that he will go easy on them and delude himself by still having fond memories where he can at the very least IMAGINE that he had a girlfriend." --Xanatos
===Degeneration of Chris from high school to college===
*"Anyways, this reminds me of something I saw in the slide show, Chris's high school graduation and Chris's college graduation. When he graduated high school. he was kinda gankly looking but he was pretty well dressed for Chris, nice gown, wearing the hat the right way, dress slacks and a shirt and tie underneath, pretty good. College? He wears his god damn medallion, the striped shirt he always draws himself in, his gown is wide open like he's a little kid who's disrobing himself in public, he looks like a total slob. My guess is that isolation really takes a toll on a man." --Champthom
**"That makes me wonder what happened to Chris during 2000-2004. In High School he comes off as an innocent, fairly close to normal (at least, normal for a mentally handicapped person) kid. Maybe he had a bit of a high opinion of himself & hobbies below his age level, but all sorts of people have those. . . . By 2004 (the year of Anna's "Crazy Pacer" story, correct?) he had become the overweight, clown shirt wearing, man hating virgin with rage we all know & love/hate. What caused this transformation? Sex drive kicking in? Not having enough contact with the outside world? Something else?" --SteveSteve
***"Well the two major changes were his sexual awakening and not having a school to go to everyday where he had people who more or less allowed him to associate with them. . . . College had to be overwhelming to him, everyone has a different schedule, and I doubt his professors briefed his classes about his special needs. So he went from that retard you had to be nice to or else you'd get in trouble, to that weird guy who has a hunk of clay around his neck. Naturally no one would want to associate with him. . . . However the reason he's such a popular target is because of how desperate he is, not only does this allow for easy trolling but a horny retard is hard to turn away from, it's all just too weird. If he had never started his love quest he'd be just another freak on the internet people would quickly forget about. If he never had a sexual awakening he'd still be sad and pathetic, but no one would want to pick on a guy whose entire adult life consists of playing with toys and games eagerly awaiting his birthday to see what toys and games his parents bought him (I've looked through the birthday photos a lot lol). But because he's the type that will sit around with a sign declaring his hatred for men and desire for a white mommy to come and fuck him, as Mr. Howell put it, he's to damn funny to ignore. . . . Not to mention all his real life problems came from his love quest, getting arrested, losing his friend [[megan]], and getting banned from every place a retard can spend his days outside." --Trapper
****"That is not exactly true, if you watch the song of Christian you'll note that at age 16 he acts similarily to how he does today(except not swearing and touching up girls) complaining that his teachers were discriminating him for his autism because he got an F in english and raging at all the other students in his class swearing and drinking , I think there was probably a strict dress code for high-school so his mother probably made sure he was dressed properly each day, in college there wasn't one so he dressed how he does now." --Drlugae
*****"I'd like to say Sonichu ruined him completely. He went nuts when he put on the medallion and started to do everything Sonichu and love quest. Yes, he had the Song of Christian, but before he was just a naricisstic probably not even autistic irresponsible idiot. But now he has SONICHU. I think Chris used the Sonichu World/CWCville as a way to justify anything to him. If he had a bad day because someone called him fat, Sonichu would say the person was just jealous, I'm sure. Basically Chris became the Chris we know today when he became an otherkin/otakin." --GenesisHime

===Facial recognition===

An addendum I'd like to make is a hypothesis I've been toying with that might explain why he failed to recognize the different pics sent to him by BlueSpike, and why he failed to recognize changing voices. I'm building this on the grounds of another hypothesis posted in Ye Olde Trolle Forume about why Chris's art sucked so hard yet he thought it was lifelike.

As the OP wrote back then, Chris is unable to tell how much his art sucks, because his brain lacks the required "hardware" to process visual information. The OP said back then this happens to him whenever he looks at something with a lot of visual information, said, the shelves of a supermarket, or pics from Chris's room: he just sees the shelves, but in his mind, his sight is distracted, gets lost, and he can't process shit. Likewise, whenever Chris sees a drawing or is trying to do something, his drawings come out like this because that's as far as his mind can handle, because he can only draw an over-simplified version of what he sees.

Now, what does being unable to process visual information means? Simple: this means he can't recognize the human figure.

This is a very important feature of Chris, because the human brain is hard-wired to recognize the human shape and easily spot the subtle details that make us look different from other fellow humans: the face, the eyes, the overall shapes. (As a side note, this is also why the Uncanny Valley exists, feel free to google the term if you want to find out more). Chris, however, cannot recognize the details in a person. To him, everybody looks the same; some are skinnier, some are rounder, but that's the only difference, because everybody looks the same. The only differences he can pick up are big, obvious differences: a girl with gargantuan tits or a marked hourglass figure, or a police officer in blue and white instead of a mall guard in brown.

Now, why I've been playing with this theory for these days? Because, if this theory is correct, this would neatly and simply explain not only why he fell so easily to BlueSpike and PricklyWickly's ruses, or why he can't draw for shit, but this also explains another of Chris's mysteries: his self-image.

Chris thinks he looks scrawny, youthful and handsome, when in fact he's a bloated blob of fat with a permanent expression that makes you think you're looking at the eyes of a dead fish. Putting body language issues aside, he sees himself that way because, back in high school, he had to spend 2 hours staring at the mirror and examining himself while memorizing his own looks. Before that, he probably didn't knew how he looked. He would probably say the guy in the mirror was him because Snorlax said so, but chances are he was capable of not recognizing himself in a photograph. When he memorized his own looks, he developed his self-image... only problem was, the knowledge of his self-image never reached a subconscious level, only staying at a conscious level. And now, whenever he looks at himself in the mirror, since he can't recognize the guy inside, he just gives up, pulls out his outdated self-image from 10 years ago, and says it's him. And since Chris was scrawny and slender back then, he says he ain't got a single pound of overweight. Which is why Chris claims to be in great physical shape even after ballooning so much: his narcissism certainly plays a good part, but his perceptual deficiencies are also partly responsible.

tl;dr Chris is a bloated blob of fat not only because he thinks himself the Center of the Universe, but also because he still full-heartedly believes he looks the same way he used to look in high school, and he should know, because he spent 2 hours memorizing his own looks back then.

'''Later:'''

Chris at first used to see how all the guys who had a girlfriend seemed to be so happy around them and vice-versa, at least to the extent that his malfunctioning brain allowed. He also probably learned that having a hot girlfriend makes you awesome. And then he learned that older people get a girlfriend, have sex, marry and have children. But he never felt interested in them lasses, probably because he was lazy or just plain asexual, until he left high school, when he finally reached some sort of mental puberty. Then he shat brix when he saw how his so-called BFF Sarah Hammer was taken away from him by Wes Iseli. He would look at getting a girlfriend as something like a videogame, that is, something with a clearly and unambiguously defined action and result: if Chris gets a girlfriend, he will be happy (it's a nebulous reward, yeah, but this is how Chris's mind works).

Sad and butthurt, he came to the conclusion that he needed a Sweetheart as a replacement goldfish for Sarah, because this way, Chris would repair his Shattered Heart and Tortured Soul. --Da_Nuke

===Chris can't recognize his own self===
. . . Obviously, Chris is fat and seems to deny this in the comics and even the emails at some point. I believe he said something along the lines of, "I'm not fat" and completely ignored everything else that was said. I don't think that this is because of a mental condition. Remember, his mother is constantly praising him and telling him things he would like to hear. She would say nice things in regards to his appearance, too. Because Chris has very few friends and has only a childish and incomplete concept of dating and women in general, he wouldn't be called "fat" under normal circumstances. People who vaguely knew him, such as at school, would also treat him kindly because he is autistic. In regards to his physical condition he has only heard his mother's compliments and accepts those as the truth.

In the comic he draws himself much thinner than he actually is, because he feels good about his appearance. He doesn't think he is fat. As you said it may have something to do with his perception of himself back in high school. Back then he was fat, but much less so than he is now. He also compliments himself by mentioning his creativity and that he is a child at heart... You're probably right about him memorizing his appearance from then having something to do with all of this. Perhaps he hasn't noticed any changes in the last 5 or so years? Alternatively, he could be insecure about his girth and his appearance in the comic is a way of denying the truth and making himself feel better. It makes sense. If you are going to draw yourself as a character in a comic, you would hide the traits you dislike about yourself and highlight the positive aspects.

Again, he doesn't seem to realize that others think that he is overweight. The people who would mention it are the kinds of people Chris would never hang around with, and the people Chris actually does hang out with, such as any woman sympathetic enough to speak with him, would never bring it up. I don't think it has anything to do with his autism. --Crash

*"I agree with this. If anyone remembers back during the Blanca saga, people were sending pictures of different girls who had the same basic features of one another (tannish[fuck, some of them were pale], dark hair) and Chris agreed all of them were Blanca, the same girl. And this is why I'm not too terribly worried about running into Chris out in town. He's unable to tell the difference between two seperate people. Hell, for all we know he probably approached some poor girl already and made claims they were Emily." --LoveYouLongTime
===Speculation on his sexual psychology===
*"Maybe he just would like to get dominated." --Feelsgoodman
**"I don't think Chris would be comfortable with or enjoy beign dominated like that, his sexlogs clearly show his actual sex fantasies are rather vanilla and he feels comforted by beign a teacher of sorts, telling young girls how to pleasure themselves and such." --DrShoggoth
***"'I just want to teach you' is actually a classic line sex predators use. It's a paternalistic thing, often a man who was abused by their father will seek to have that same complete level of control over a child. Not to say that I think Chrissy is a sex predator, but he definitely never got the level of respect from Bob that he sought growing up. (Bob often called him 'dummy.') I think all the Love Quest and daughter bullshit are a manifestation of Chris' desire to control another person in the same way he has always been controlled by his parents. ...I wish I could say with any conviction that Chris would not sexually abuse a theoretical daughter." --DannyMothman
===Emotional incest===
*"Chris is obviously looking for a replacement mom, and I wonder what role his mom plays in it. Did she tell him he needed someone to take care of him? . . . Bob might have his flaws, but I don't think he coddles Chris quite so much. It's actually kind of interesting when you notice that Chris used to insist that he and Bob were the only men who aren't jerks, but now he doesn't have much good stuff to say about Bob. On the other hand, he'll brag to girlfriends about making his mom proud because he didn't crap his briefs. ''Something'' might be going on, perhaps some type of emotional incest. Most definitions I've found about that seem to be about making a child something of a surrogate spouse, but it looks like mother/son emotional incest can be about a mother trying to keep a son around as a child. (I'd drop in a link, but I'm not finding any terribly ''good'' ones right now.) We don't know what his parents' relationship is like, but we do know that they don't sleep together anymore and I don't get the impression that they have much of a relationship at all anymore. Besides, we know Snorlax has been in other relationships and abandoned Cole, but for some reason, she's stuck around for Chris. It could be that despite all his fail, she saw him as her only shot at redemption and thinks it's too late to back out now." --Trista
===Chris is not gay, but not straight===
*"He's not gay. He's not straight either. He has the mentality of an 8 year old who has yet to grasp the concept of reproduction fully. If you think about it, when you were 8 years old what was your sexual orientation? Most people knew what the gender roles were at that age but they never really thought about it. If you were a boy you knew that you needed to find a girl to play house with. Sex to a child is similar to a concept like gravity, it's difficult to actually think about although you know what it is. Chris just sees that he needs to get paired with a girl to be happy, the bible, his parents, and the internet be damned. This is what he wants because this is what he knows. Anything else is 'just plain wrong'." --Dumbnigger
===Why he can't be fixed===
*"I don't believe Chris can be fixed the way he is now. If you were surrounded by all the toys and games you could ever want, lived comfortably in your doting parents' house, and never had to work for your money, would you want things to be different (assuming you're a coddled pathetic sack of flesh and you don't even know it)? An important first step in fixing yourself is having the willingness to change. Chris has demonstrated time and time again that he doesn't want to do this, his life is too cozy, and any flaws he has can be chalked up to stress or autism or any of his other usual excuses. He doesn't even realize how sexist he is, how disgusting his habits are, how all of his girlfriends will be trolls now and forever - he can't be redeemed because he doesn't want to be redeemed. He doesn't want to believe he is sexist, disgusting, and unlovable. . . . He could become a decent, hard-working person, one who respects women (and men, because they are not all jerks), one who actually showers, and one who can be lovable...but as it stands now he will never become one of these good people. He's too comfortable living in filth and convincing himself the ladies are secretly attracted to him." --me
===Humanity must change===
*"he wants humanity to change to accomidate him." --Tsuyu22
===CHRIS CAN TOO COOK!===
*"You guys are giving him to much credit he didn't say he could cook meat and vegetables, when asked what he could cook the response was 'vegetables *long pause* meat.'" --Trapper
===Does Chris know he's fat?===
*"Chris doesn't think he's overweight, though." --Anaconda
**"You know what? I bet he does know this. I bet he completely and totally realises it but thinks that if he tells everyone he isn't, they will have to believe him. Which is just as retarded quite frankly. He can recognise other people as overweight. He must be able to see the blob forming in front of him. I mean it is big enough for him not to see his duck. . . . His logic is probably that 'well, I'm still really strong with lots of muscle and I still have a great personality. So all the girls will love me. I just need to convince them I am not fat.'" --Fuckinstupid
***"Remember he can't fully recognize the human figure or face, one day he spent like 2 hours memorizing his own looks, he learned how he looks in the context of intellectual learning, he hasn't "updated" his self-image ever since, and thus chances are when he sees himself in the mirror he still sees his high school self." --Da_Nuke
***"He doesn't. You're talking about a retard that at 27 still uses his mom as a credible source when she says he's handsome." --Anthony Sullivan
****"I wouldn't be suprised if he thinks he's bigger because of his rigorous guitar hero standing up exercises and that the only reason he can't fit in his Ash costume is because his muscles are too big and he's gotten taller." --Drlugae
===A LiveJournaler writes about Chris, PVCC speculates===
*"So Sonichu returned to Alderman today. I am not sure what to make of him. He sits in his chair and draws his sonichu comics, harmless, i assme. Yet, I feel like he knows he's different. He knows that the world rushing in front of him is not his own. Surrounded by the "brightest" students in America, whatever that means, he sits in his chair and draws. 23 years old. I'm not sure he even graduated high school. In front of him texts of Plato, Faulkner, God, and Kleist swirl. Does he have the capacity to understand these works? Whether he can or not, I am not sure, but their is something in his eyes that realizes that there is a level of understanding and thought that he is unable to partake in. As he slumps lower and lower in his chair with each student he eyes reading or holding a book, he falls into himself- into the markers and colors on the page in front of him. (coffee idea) He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all." --([http://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html])
**"That is quite possibly the saddest thing I've ever read about Chris... It just FITS. :| I mean being fucked in the head is one thing, but knowing you're fucked in head, and realizing that there is nothing you can do..." --Goombapolice
***"I don't think that's the case though, at least not consciously. He's got an outsized ego because Barb has been feeding him that he's super talented, super smart, super creative since he was little. He doesn't bother to even try to understand the world around him because it doesn't hold his interest, and because he believes his way of thinking is better anyway. I don't think he considers himself fucked in the head or that there's nothing he can do - he believes his IQ is in the 300's and that he knows karate from watching it on TV. If that's not delusional I don't know what is. The way I see it, he's a 12 year old trapped in a 30 year old body, and lacks the self-awareness to realize it." --El Misto
===Reading Chris's face===
*"What's Chris's face saying in his video? Does anyone out there read faces well enough to venture a guess about some classic videos? One thing I noticed in the recent interview he did with that ScrewAttack guy. When the interviewer mentions Spax3's sexual fantasies about Cream the rabbit, a look of disgust and surprise crosses Chris's face. If you notice, however, the expression comes somewhat later than the original statement. Some would say it just took our favorite manchild a little longer to 'register' what was being said, but it seems to me more likely that Chris wasn't surprised at all, and possibly not disgusted. His expression, wide-eyes, etc, freezes for awhile just after this. 'Real' reactions are more transitory: his eyebrows wouldn't be up for so long. He's trying to act surprised and disgusted - he really isn't. Later in the video, when he's being asked how he feels about 'beastiality' and furry sex, he slows down and touches his face a lot. The impression I got there was that Chris didn't, in fact, have as strong a feeling towards the matter as he claimed, because a) it made him uncomfortable (the face touching) and people don't get that unsure of themselves when stating something they firmly believe and always have, and b) he had to pause to think about it. Even if we're not playing shrinks, that's saying something that he had to stop and think before saying, Beastiality is wrong. I know little about this, so everyone's guess is as good as mine. What sort of non-verbal cues is Chris sending?"
**"personally i think chris doesn't actually understand human emotion. note how he reacted to sarah may wanting to kill herself, his apology to logan and his reaction to pandahalo's death. also note the slowness to display any emotion, he seems to feel the emotion internally and then take a second to figure out how to portray this through his face." --Cogsdev
**"As for his face... well, it's pure and simple, it can't express emotion because 1.- it's autistic and 2.- all it can actually feel is lust and rage. IIRC, it consciously knows you have to express emotion to avoid coming across as a creepy murderer, which means it must resort to faking emotion." --Da_Nuke
===His mental age===
*"how old is he, mentally? It's been concerning me for a while." --Kapake
**"He´s a seven year old who is into sex and perversions and such." --EternityofNothing
***"That might explain the narcissism. I've seen narcissism characterized as being very close to the world view of a typical seven year old (yes, that age) so it might just be that Chris is just mentally seven than genuinely narcissistic." --Champthom
**"I concur. Seven. It's that age where kids generally get what they want because they aren't socialized to other people yet. They get angry if they don't get what they want." --Fuckinstupud
**"7 emotionally, between 13 and 15 sexually, maybe around 15 for logical skills (being generous). I think he's probably going to be stuck in those ages for a long time, until his body ramps down testosterone production. Then he'll just be a creepy 60 year old (if he lives that long) into Transformers and Little Pony figurines." --El Misto
**"I've always thought Chris-chan was more like a 5 year old, considering he still lacks so much in motor and perceptional skills. Though on the other hand, his language skills are more like the ones of indeed a 7-year-old: he can form complete sentences, his grammar is mostly correct, yet his spelling sometimes sucks (Merried Seinor Comic, Noiophobia, Lucricities and Lucrativeness instead of Ludicrousnesses)." --Da_Nuke
**"What the fuck happened when he was 7 that made him get stuck there?" --Kapake
***"I think there are a million different factors influencing the way Chris is, but I'm starting to suspect that something REALLY horrible happened to him when he was a kid, something so horrible that it shattered him and destroyed his psyche. He has blocked it out of his memory, and was severely traumatized to the point where he could not move past being a kid at all." --Bloopy/Sauerkraut
***"When best trying to understand Chris I apply two paradigms. I compare him to one of two individuals I have known and apply their lines of thinking. The first is a six year old boy I once knew when I helped out with a kids' program after school when I was in jr. high. The kid was utterly simplistic in his mindset and obviously like a lot of little kids wasn't much for logic. I couldn't blame him, he was six after all. When explaining to him that it was wrong for him to knock down another little kid and take away his football, the kid would simply respond with "but I wanted it." There was zero ability to recognize feelings outside of himself... which is even abnormal for a six year old. The second was a little twelve year old kid I knew when I worked as a teachers' aide while I was in college. The kid was an utter dork and completely socially awkward at an age where suddenly it is now time to be cool and to learn how to deal with the opposite sex. He would cry in class when he didn't get his way and rage like Chris. Whenever anything went wrong it was everyone else's fault, not his. He would change the subject when confronted with what he did, he would blame me and talk back, and generally be an utter ass to the people around him. He had no grasp of social cues whatsoever. The worst part is that he did it all in an incredibly annoying and nasal stereotypical Jewish accent, not much different from Kyle's Jewish cousin who comes and visits on South Park. . . . There are two characters I see. One is an utter child completely absorbed in his own world (the six year old), the other is a bit older and now completely feeling like the world is out to get him and with no sense of social status or values (the twelve year old). CWC generally operates between one of these two paradigms. In general we see more of the 12 year old, though, as of late, the more the trolls get active." --Gusvansant
***"he's actually pretty amoral. He basically does whatever makes him feel good at the time, without considering the consequences or others. However, he will pretend to be a "goodie goodie" if he thinks people are going to think less of him for doing something wrong. He really doesn't have any values either. He paints himself as a good christian, but he really only uses his religion as a way to excuse his bigoted beliefs and act superior towards others. If Chris wants to do something the Bible says is wrong, he'll just pretend it's not there and do it anyway. Chris is a hedonist who never considers right or wrong, and just uses his "morals" and "values" to protect his image and excuse his behavior. He's the worst kind of hypocrite." --VTEC_Engine
===Chris's dream job===
*"One time he emailed Nintendo about the possibility of becoming a video game tester, although he didn't include a resume, CV, and managed to sound somewhat normal. And he wanted to not have to leave the house to go to work. I'm not sure if Chris sent this email because it's a child's idea of what a job should be or whether he viewed it as some kind of scam to get free Nintendo games." --Anaconda
**"I'd go with the former. Seriously, video game tester is like one of those jobs you totally want as a kid. I mean, you'd be getting paid to play the vidya. Except the thing is, from what I understand, video game testing is along the lines that you spend hours walking into a wall over and over, from different angles, to make sure stuff works and really testing minute stuff so that the game doesn't crash and so programmers can iron out glitches. Allegedly, Chris has posted his resume (CV for eurofags) somewhere and it was along the lines of listing the fact he created Sonichu and his HTML classes for his resume, including his interests of drawing, video games, etc. I've never seen any evidence he's done this though. Of course, by all means, someone prove me wrong on this. Also, apparently Chris did indeed wear the medallion when he worked at Wendy's." --Champthom
**"Oh, it's the former without a doubt. Chris' ideal job, 'Hey, I'm a big immature fuck, I can sit at home and play video games all day long without leaving my house and getting paid for it! And I'll also be the first person EVAR TO PLAY THE NEW POKEYMAWN GAMES!!!!!'" --Kapake
***"And even if a video game company was willing to pay him to test games at home on his own terms, his reports after playing would no doubt not consist of glitches found, but instead of things like 'it was fun' or 'The female characters need more sexy revealing costumes'." --SteveSteve
***"With the whole game testing thing and if he was required to write reviews. Chris is a fucking fat lazy piece of shit. Even if he was hired to write reviews on games, he would put that off. He'd get e-mails and calls from the company asking where their review is and Chris would just SIIIGH and pull 'BUT I'M SO STRESSSSSED!' He would want to play the games but write the reviews on his terms. Because the world revolves around him." --LoveYouLongTime

===Confirmation of emotional incest===
*"This is something I just learned from Ivy, and this corresponds with what a field agent has confirmed about Chris has seen with Chris getting 'touchy' around Snorlax when Bob isn't looking. It's - Chris likes to sleep with his mother. According to Ivy, what Snorlax will do is come into Chris's room, the two will watch movies and lay down on the bed as Chris holds her, then they both fall asleep. In his bed.They use to do it downstairs on the couch but Bob started bitching about it, telling Chris to grow up and such. Yes, this is very shocking and hard to believe. But considering the prevailing opinion is that Chris wants a mommy he can fuck, this adds a new level to this analysis. [. . .] I mean, Snorlax and Bob don't even sleep in the same room anymore, they've been married for some time and there's usually a point where a marriage becomes more of a friendship, and both Chris and Barb are both human in that they need some intimate contact and affection. But the thing is, while this is normal of small children to want to cuddle with their mothers, it's not fucking normal for 27 year olds to do this. And I think there's actually a period in childhood development (normal one, anyway) where a child learns that they can't have mommy all to themselves but they have to share her with daddy. Looks like Chris never really reached that realization. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris. Seriously though, I imagine one day we will get Chris confirming this, as he makes a video saying 'Yes, I do sleep with my mother, but what child does not sleep their mothers at some point in their lives?'" --Champthom
**"Honestly, I didn't want further proof for my emotional incest theory. It's worse than I thought." --Trista
**"My genitals just retreated so far into my abdomen I think they hit my diaphragm." --me

===Info from Emily===
"Chris said he heard of the deaths of Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.

"Chris said he liked a few of Michael Jackson's songs, "Beat It" being his favorite. Which is not surprising because it can be found on Rock Band or Guitar Hero. But he didn't agree with his life choices, including him becoming a white man. He also had the audacity to say that he was too immature and childish for his age. Chris, of all people to say this.

"When mentioned that Billy Mays was the mayor of CWCville he said he was blackmailed into saying it during the Julie fiasco. He was asked about the election, which he claimed that it was just rumors and made up by the trolls. He thought it was silly and stupid that when it was brought up that people think he was behind the death of Billy Mays.

"Chris talked about an uncle who breeds Rat Terriers(google image them if you don't know what they look like). Apparently the uncle is selling them for $125 each. Now, knowing how white trash southern Virginian's work he most likely found two mutts on the side of the road who resembled Rat Terriers and decided to breed them because it's a quick buck. Chris is getting one of the pups. I'm not sure if he's paying for it, but he said he was going to pick a FEMALE from the litter. And name her Independence. Anyone who knows anything about terriers know they can be neurotic as hell, especially if they're bored and not exercised. We all know that Chris' family is financially stable to take care of a puppy /sarcasm. What's most likely going to happen is that they're going to do piss for training and the dog is going to shit, piss, and chew on everything. So they're going to throw the puppy into the backyard. Then the dog is going to dig a hole underneath Patti's doghouse where her remains are, pull them out and Chris is going to discover his puppy chewing on Patti's skull. Bricks being shat will be had."

"I asked Chris what he thought of sex before marriage and his response was, 'I WANT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.' Which opened the door to, 'I thought there was somewhere in the Bible where you can't have sex before marriage.' He then said that the Bible was advice on how people should live their lives and that he has a choice if he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex or not. Oh boy....I then went, 'Chris you said that homosexuality was bad because the Bible said so at this point homosexuality is a choice and it's just advice...?' He got quiet for seven seconds before going, 'Hmm....uuuh...You blew my mind.' Then got all quiet and didn't really want to talk. So the subject had to be changed. . . . Chris also said he had a romantic dream where he made out with a woman named something along the lines of '[[Julie|Julich]].' He said he couldn't tell if she was European or Asian. :facepalm: ...But he thinks she looked more European. . . . He also only has $5 in his savings account. He told Clyde a while ago he had $10."

Me : Is CWCville a real place[obvious answer is obvious]?
Chris : I'd like it to be a real place.
Me : lololololol
Chris : It's another C'Ville[who the fuck wants another Charlottesville?].
Me : Yeeeeeah. I don't know, the website made it seem like an actual place. Soooo if this place was real
what kind of government would it have?
Chris : Mmm...I don't know much about government but I would say like you know any government any city would have.
Me : Well there's different kinds of government. I mean are you talking about a kind of government
that you would find in America or in China or in Germany?
Chris : I would say more of an American government.
Me : Oh so-
Chris : Since it's within America.
Me : Okay. So it'd be like a democracy?
Chris : Hm. Well I'm more of a Moderate. But yeah I guess a democracy. Yeah.
Me : Oh...[FFFFFFF]
Chris : Well yeah I'm not sure that's right I'm trying to remember yeah the Republicans are the bad guys.
Yeah democracy is good.
Me : Oh well-
Chris : It would be a democracy.
Me : -fumbling for words- Democracy means there are like elections and people vote for who they want to be in
office.
Chris : Hm. Yeeeeah. But. Because I founded the town uh we do not need to hold elections.
Me : Oh well. That's not a democracy. That's a dictatorship.
Chris : That's kind of dumb. It just sounds crappy when you use that word.
Me : Well that's what it's called lolololol. I'm just saying.
Chris : Hm.
Me : But ANYWAYS[change subject before stress sigh ensues].
Chris : I'd have to think more about that I guess.

"Whenever anything political comes up he just starts stuttering, stress sighing, and going 'Mm..' and in this case, it'll be followed by "'well er uh I don't know um well I heard some bad news about um them but I guess I'm neutral.'"

"Chris said if age wasn't a legal issue, he would date a girl as young as 16. Possibly [[Zapina|14]] . . ."

". . . if she had a lower income then it would make things harder for him."

"I think it may have been mentioned before that Chris steals money from his parents and they just don't give a shit. They haven't disciplined him for 27 years, so why start now?

"Well, it has come to our attention that back when the Rock Band(or possibly Guitar Hero, but who cares) AC/DC game came out Chris bought it, used the code in the case to get all the songs, then returned the game to get his money back. When confronted that's considered stealing, his excuse was basically that they shouldn't have the code if they didn't want people to do that. This all being followed by his stress sigh.

"So basically, if you have to register that code then whoever happened to buy the game after Chris couldn't use the code. That stupid son of a bitch. I wonder how many other games Chris has done this with. He probably thinks he's clever for it."

"Surprisingly enough, Chris is very deceptive. Or at least, he tries to be. He hides and steals things like he's a little kid and since he's retarded nobody has bothered to punish him for it. Thus, he continues to do it, because he thinks he's clever. Unfortunately to keep Chris' trust and get him to tell me more things, despite them making me rage, I just keep my mouth shut and let Chris, once again, get away with his bullshit."

"So the other day Chris was saying the highlight of his day was running over a snake. Now mind you, he ACTIVELY tried running the snake over. He missed the first time. He missed the second time. Hell, he miss the third time. He finally locked 'old blue' on that snake and hit his target in triumph. When questioned what kind of snake it was he responded that he didn't know but it was poisonous. Now, where Chris was at at the time, there are no poisonous snakes in that area. So in reality it was most likely a black snake or a garter snake.

"He was PROUD of running over that snake."

"In middle school kids would make fun of Chris for liking Sonic and yell at Chris, 'SONIC IS DEAD!' Of course, Chris being Chris, would get upset and yell back, 'NO HE'S NOT!' Lulz would ensue.

"In high school, kids would throw their loose change on the ground and when Chris went to pick it up they would point and laugh saying, 'He's so poor he's picking up our loose change!' Except I imagine them dropping their change right in front of Chris

"BONUS : Despite not liking the homos, he thinks people who use 'gay' in replacement of 'stupid' or 'retarded' is stupid. When asked what he thought of people who use 'nigger' he thought about it for a few seconds then said it was not as 'bothersome.'"
*"He probably harbors a special resentment for that usage of "gay," because it was labeled against him as a child. The term "Nigger" is likely not as bothersome to Chris because he was never called that name, in school. Chris has precious little empathy for the problems of others. Unless its something that directly impacts his little life, he cannot be bothered to care. Although, I admit this also gives more evidence of his racism." --Enerjakop

"I do think Chris has an Oedipus Complex. Some of you may remember me speaking of seeing Chris and his parents at McDonalds last year around October/November. He sat next to his mother and when Bob went to go get a refill on his coffee, Chris started coddling up to his mother. He had his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his head on her shoulder. What I could make out from them muttering his the Snorlax saying something about how Chris shouldn't keep secrets from her. At 26(at the time) years old, that's not normal behavior for someone to act towards a parent. It could be because of his autism for his attachment to his mother(I'm not psychologist, so I'm not sure of the ins and outs of autism).

"Which brings me to a second thing I noticed. Just like Chris waited for Bob to leave to coddle up to his mother, Chris also waited for Bob to leave during our date to start touching me more. When Bob went to go get food, Chris started putting his hand on my shoulder more. When Bob came back, he kept his hands to himself more. When Chris and I started walking around, Chris kept attempting to walk closer to me and started to say more perverted things. It seems like Chris is intimidated by Bob and ashamed of acting out in a certain way in front of his father as opposed to his mother. This also just proves that Chris does know from right to wrong. Chris knew he should keep his hands to himself in front of Bob."

===Enerjakop's tl;dr post about megalomania===

Last night, Trapper posed a question about why Tails has never been recolored into the world of Cwcville. (The thread can be found under the “Characters” page, and is entitled “The missing character”)

Well, that got me thinking about something new:

Chris’ Megalomania.

meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a
n.
1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

Let’s talk about Chris’ Legos. They have been with him since day one. In fact, they were the primary component of the very first image of Chris-Chan that I ever saw.

[http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3717/scarychrisin4.jpg]

Look at them all! Why does he keep them all out? Why does he still play with them? What do they tell us about the man?
To answer that, we will have to look a Chris’ childhood. As we all know, Master Chandler was an incredibly isolated youth. Unable to make friends at school, and living in a household with parents who were stuck thirty years in the past, Chris really never had anyone to guide him in understanding the modern social climate. Few would deny that he was dealt a bad hand. However, I would argue that he didn’t have to play it the way he did.

I think that Chris came to resent his classmates. I believe that he was originally just too shy and nervous to approach the other kids in his class, but eventually he decided he preferred being alone. He did not relate with the other kids in his class, and chances are he had no desire to pursue any interests which were different from his. If he was at all like his modern day persona, he would have frequently misinterpreted, and grown defensive over what other kids said to him. As a result, he would have made himself an outsider, and thus became a subject of ridicule. He would have perceived his treatment as an unwarranted attack against him for being different.

Chris then withdrew from the majority of humanity. He came to see himself as morally and mentally superior to his classmates, because of the habits he followed. While others smoked, cursed, and were rude, Chris saw himself as a kind of Saint lost in a wicked world that scorned his purity and genius. He probably convinced himself that all men are jerks when he was still in elementary school. Chances are that he got bullied quite a bit, primarily by other guys. Similarly he started to see women as pure, because most of the kids who showed him pity were probably well meaning girls, who would defend him.

I know that all this is all speculation, but bear with me. I have to set the stage.

So here we have a young Chris, ostracized and pitied by his peers, and unwilling to leave his comfort zone. What does he do, when he cannot figure out how to get by in the outside world? The answer is simple.

He makes his own world, inside. A world that understands both he…
and his desires.

[http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/4559/272ho3.jpg]

He makes Cwcville.

It is a town filled with citizens and heroes.

It is a land replete with adventure and intrigue.

It is a world, where the rule of Christian Weston Chandler is absolute.

[http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/9241/267rl1.jpg]

And to get there, Chris need only retreat to his bedroom.

Cwcville is the most well thought out element of Chris’ Universe, complete with industry, history, and legends. Why is it so fleshed out, when most of Chris' work is painfully two dimensional? My guess is that it is because Chris has been living in Cwcville for a VERY long time. Longer even, than he has known Sonichu. Cwcville predates the birth of Bionic, and the start of his Sweetheart search. It is the true heart of Chris’ delusions.

We have long-thought that Sonichu was Chris' most cherished safety blanket, but I am no longer so certain. Chris does not really value other sentient beings. As I wrote to Trapper:

...his closest companion a pixilated hedgehog. He liked leading his digital minion through all manner of dungeons, but often wished that he had "a player two" to play with. Note the term I use: play. Not "work" with. Not "interact" with. No, he wanted to PLAY with them.

I'm pretty sure that Chris likes acting as a god figure. He likes building his ideal world out of Legos, and giving his creations life as citizens of Cwcville. In his comics, even the bravest heroes fear losing the guidance of their benevolent ruler. Being someone who is followed and adored appeals to him, and his lack of Socialization has lead him to think he deserves such treatment. As Chris grew up, he became convinced that he only needed a single minion to make all of his desires a reality. Thus he relates with his hero (Sonic/Sonichu) seeking and obtaining a romantic partner, who is very complacent (Amy/Rosechu)Seriously, if Amy is Chris' ideal woman, it explains a lot. Amy makes June Cleaver look empowered. She lives only to please her man, and routinely needs him to save her.

Chris never really wanted to have a person sharing in his glory or helping him with his creative work, so the role of Tails (a comrade) never appealed to him. While Sonic would obey his commands, Tails would act on his own, following his primitive AI system. During game play, Tails would sometimes help Chris, and sometimes hinder him (sort of like a real friend) but he could never be controlled by Chris. (Yes, I know that you could select him as a playable character. However he could not be controlled at the same time as Sonic. YES, I KNOW HE COULD, IF THE PLAYER MASTERED PLAYING BOTH CONTROLLERS SIMULTANEOUSLY, BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!) I don't think Chris liked having this "wild card" around.

Chris likes to be surrounded by slaves, who obey his commands. He has always wanted a woman he can manipulate into caring for him, but I have yet to hear him once request a simple platonic friendship with anyone. He likes to have adversaries, to overcome (Knuckles/Punchy, Robotnik/Robotnik) these make him feel important and capable. But a colleague? A pal? That's something that is just too alien a concept, for Chris.

Chris does not like it when people say "No!" to him. He has spent the majority of his life giving orders to Legos, drawings, and Video Game Characters who do not talk back. And, I suspect he wishes the rest of the world would follow suit. Chris is an armchair dictator, who fancies himself above all other people, because in his world he IS the superior being. He descends upon Cwcville through a magic gateway, and graces the realm with his presence. Like a God, he saves them when he is called upon. And like the Creator he is, Chris watches and comments about even the most intimate aspects of his subject's lives. Chris needs to be in total control of his world.

Now, Let us look at him through a Christian lens. Chris views his God as a being who conveniently supports all of Chris' wishes, and even answers his demands. According to the dogma of Chris-Chan

God:
*Hates gay men. (We have yet to hear Chris once complain about Lesbians, so they can presumed to be good in his god's eyes.)
*Hates drugs, alcohol, swearing, and most men.
*Occasionally is willing to act as Chris' personal hit man.
*Believes that premarital sex is fine, as long as the man wears a condom and claims to love the girl, at the time.
*Really really want Chris to have an obedient wife and daughter. So much so, that he sent an Angel to speak with Chris on the matter.
*Believes Chris is a good person.

Obviously, Chris' view of God's law is identical to the rules he upholds in Cwcville. I am not saying that Chris thinks he is God, but he does think that God’s will is in total accordance with HIS, which is egotistic to say the least.

Seeing a pattern here? Chris views everything with a preexisting mindset that he should have total control over all of us. That's why he acts so magnanimous, when he grants the Sonichu girls permission to make him nude drawings of his characters. That's why his videos are filled with demands and threats directed at both his enemies AND fans. (No more comics, unless you do X, Y,and Z.) He actually thinks he can command humanity as his personal e-army. Never does he think that we are free agents. We are either his faithful fans, who wait on his every beck and call, or wicked Trolls who seek to subvert his authority. It must be easy to become this delusional when you never leave the imaginary land in your room, and only occasionally send out messages to faceless void of the internet.

Have you ever wondered how he bounces back so quickly from even our most vicious attacks? No matter how bad things get for Chris in the real world, he can always just go to his room and see that everything is still fine in Cwcville. And to Chris that's all that really matters.

Chris needs his legos. Whenever reality jilts him, he can rectify the "error" in Lego world

Remember, when he couldn't afford a PS3?

[http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/5364/285hn6.jpg]

He made one that he could play in his world.

There are already a ton of articles about how Chris applies this same principle to his person. For every flaw he recognizes in himself, he compensates by fixing it in his imagined Cwcville persona.

For every person who meets him in the real world, he gains a new ally or villain in Cwcville. Even we have been dealt with. 4cent_Garbage.com was Chris' way of handling the stress we've put him through. He drug us into his world, and used his home town advantage to finally score a decisive victory against us. It doesn't matter that it is all a fantasy, in Chris' mind he had soundly defeated Jason Howell and sent all the trolls running.

This is why Chris scares me a little. I don’t know that he can fully distinguish his fantasy world from reality. He has used his self-soothing realm of Cwcville for so long, and wished to be in it for such a great time, that I fear his perceptions have blurred a bit. I don’t mean that he thinks Sonichu is real, but he suffers from a megalomania cal delusion that he should reign over us, like he does with his Lego land.

Final Thoughts:

Chris’ goal is not to find a woman to end his loneliness (he says that to gain our sympathy), he wants to find one human being he can manipulate into caring for him. He seeks a human “tugboat” to enable his to continuing existence in Cwcville. I don’t even know if sex is something he really wants from her. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of drive to actually make himself more appealing. I think he wants a “pretty sweetheart” because it is a pleasure he is denied. He has seen too many lesser men get married and have families, and it infuriates Chris that he cannot. As a petty dictator, he feels nothing should be denied him.
I remember him once saying that he took his Mom to the Prom because he did not understand the purpose for dating relationships. Only after he learned about marriage, sex, and the “ownership” one can have over their wife and child, did Chris become a “Virgin with Rage.” People are just another commodity in his eyes, and he is jealous that some people have more than he does.
His virginity is another factor that annoys him, because most are able to lose it. He is outraged that no one would want to take his, the most blessed of virgins, innocence. But again, this shows us his ego. Chris refuses to just have sex with anyone, no he needs a beautiful, submissive, and above all else, enviable dream woman. He needs this, because in his mind he is and always will be better and more deserving than the rest of us.

Entitlement is the key driving force within Chris’ mind. If he thinks he should have it, he will whine and cry until he gets it. That’s how it always worked with mommy and daddy, and that’s how Chris thinks it will work with the rest of the world. Entitlement is what allowed him to jeep touching Crystal, after she told him to stop. It is what makes him think its alright to rig contests in his favor. Entitlement is what makes him furious that he cannot make us stop.
After all he does not deserve our hassle.

Remember when the medallion was destroyed, and Chris completely fell apart for a few days? I don’t think he was crushed because the trolls destroyed Sonichu. I postulate that he was traumatized because we had entered Cwcville and stolen something. We had pilfered a holy relic from his mayoral office. We made him feel unsafe, because we violated his sanctuary. We fooled him, while he was in a lace where he is supposed to be indeceivable. The medallion was Mayor Chandler's royal seal, a symbol of his power. Seizing it, made him realize that despite all of his precautions, his Secret refuge could be desecrated. But most importantly, people who were unworthy had touched a part of his Cwcville, a place he thought indestructible.

When we took the medallion we reminded him that he was mortal, and he could not cope with that thought, so he forced it out of his head and made a new fake symbol of potency.

Chris is very fragile.

If one truly wants to destroy Chris, they would only need to take away his tiny plastic kingdom.

For without Cwcville,

Chris-Chan has nothing.

And he knows it.

==From /cwc/==

===Random Access Humor===

'''Psychoanalysis, LOL. Warning: tl;dr. Indulge me. Anonymous !3GcExxsTgU 2009-08-30 15:31 No.21539'''

CWC's habit of quoting movies and shit. I get how he thinks it's funny. God knows he's not the only one since there's an entire generation of people coming to age watching Family Guy, which derives half of its jokes from delivering lines verbatim from movies. I get this.

However this is a very reductive way of looking at CWC's "random-access humor," because he also does this while pleading with/trying to reason with people. This happened recently when he accused the Real Chris of "breaking [his] balls," which is obviously a reference to Team America: World Police. If he thinks this is what humor is, why use it in a moment where he's being serious?

I can think of two possibilities.

The first is that CWC has been lacking his entire life in models for social interaction, and therefore he's forced to take his cues for social interaction from mass media. Hence, while trying to negotiate with someone, he assumes the role Kim Jong-Il held in Team America and says, "You're breaking my balls." The fact that this was a scripted exchange appropriate only in a comedy film (and that people in the real world don't do this) is irrelevant to CWC; it's the only model (or one of the only models, at least) available to him, so he used it. Autism, woo. Isn't one of the characteristics of autism a lack of understanding of habits and mannerisms of actual people? Couldn't a part of that be that he would project his own understanding of human behavior - however flawed it might be?

The second possibility is this: it might be that CWC is, in using humor during a desperate moment, attempting to make the people antagonizing him laugh. I'd say this is what he's doing because I made a habit of doing something similar in order to defuse the people bullying me, when I was a kid. By making them laugh, you would at least be getting them to recognize that you have something to contribute, even if it's just being a target. This seems feasible, especially when one considers that, in response to Clyde Cash demanding to know whether he'd shit himself again during an exchange, CWC answered "...maybe!" This is a pretty common joke in cartoons and shows aimed at older children - the joke being that a person who has obviously done something is still trying to deny it, and they're doing it badly. By striking this terrible bargain (the one in which CWC remains the target of cruel humor but at least gets to define on his own some aspect of his situation and relation to these people) he hopes to lessen the damage done by it.

This second possibility makes me feel shitty - again - about watching this whole train wreck (this is only the third or fourth time I've ever de-lurked). I better fix that quick.

Blah blah armchair psychology. Have at it.

----

'''Plainview !/xr3iaY2XE 2009-08-30 16:36 No.21551'''

I tend to buy more into the former, that he has either not had proper social models to learn from, or does not have the mental capacity to pick up on proper social cues.

Deflating "slanderous trolls" via self-deprecating humor requires a bit of forethought and awareness of human nature, and C Dub has proven time and time again that he has positively none of either.

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'''Hadoulen !Gvwlt8cPLg 2009-08-30 17:17 No.21559'''

I'd have to agree with the first part

Chris has a hard time recognizing tone changes because of his Autism, ex: The Emily saga.Therefore, he has no instincts on when to use humor. Whatever works on the TV or big screen must always work in real life because it appears to be such an easy fix

Which leads me to kind of a sidetrack rant to another issue, Chris is always looking for and believes there easy textbook fixes to every conceivable situation be it with trolls, or forces outside the internet. hence why he thinks his Dating Education is a feasible concept.

As long as he thinks people are like robots with programmed reactions he's gonna always think movies are grounded based on actual human behavior rather than exaggeration and satire

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'''Anonymous !FWpnhq9jmk 2009-08-30 18:42 No.21570'''

>>21559

>>Chris is always looking for and believes there easy textbook fixes

That's actually pretty common with autism, abstract concepts are usually really difficult for them and social interaction is pretty abstract. It's part of why he's so easy to troll, any normal person would be like "Hey, there's a bunch of trolls trying to get info about me! Maybe I should be suspicious of this random girl who suddenly wants me." but to him, those are two separate things that aren't linked together in any way. His narcissism helps though, of course.

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'''Anonymous !22CEdKcCs. 2009-08-30 19:14 No.21574'''

It's not so much that he was lacking proper social role models as that his brain is broken in a way that makes it impossible for him to understand what appropriate behavior is and internalize it the way the rest of us did; his autism.

People with autism can practice hard and at least fake normal societal behaviors, even if they don't understand the purpose behind them the way a normal person does.

Unfortunately, Chris's genetic lack of intelligence, his neglectful parents, and a few traumatic experiences growing up sort of came together in a perfect storm to produce the monster we all know and love. He never got the help he needed, and now he's too stupid to realize that he's doing things wrong and too fat, lazy, and awkward to seek help even if he did.

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'''Anonymous !AtmYi8xz2c 2009-09-01 16:04 No.21794'''

CWC thinks people are all the same. Use a shit metaphor? If you insist...

Whereas you and I see women, CWC sees a safe. (Stay with me!) Inside that safe, is sweet, sweet, china. All he has to do is figure out the right combination of actions, and it's his. Thats why he wants 'Dating Education', so someone can tell him this magical vaginal passcode.

===Morals===

'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 21:59 No.5206'''

First I want to say that this is not an "OMG U SHULD DO THIS TO CHRIS LOLOL" post, although it may sound it. This may also sound like epic moralfaggotry, but I promise this is with the intention of lulz.

Seriously though. Like pretty much every bad thing possible has been done to Chris, short of tricking him into an-heroing himself.

Why has no troll tried something like, "I'll stop loving you unless you learn to play a real guitar," or "... clean your whole house," type things? Like having him do something that would be REALLY unexpected of him.

Maybe if the carrot of nonexistent poontang is dangled in front of him, he can actually do some amazing things aside from talking to/kissing/fucking a blowup doll on a webcam. And hey if he fails spectacularly, it'd probably good for a laugh.
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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:49 No.5217'''

Every troll has tried to this.

Chris was ready to fuck a dog for Panda but he wouldn't save up money to go visit her.

Chris was willing to make sex tapes where he screams "JULLLAAAAAAAAAAAY" like a retard in heat for Julie yet he wouldn't go get a job like she asked him too.

Chris doesn't want to improve himself. He's more than willing to do fucked up shit for his sweethearts like shove things up his ass or do shitty songs of covers but if it's something serious like "Get a job" or "Clean your house" he doesn't give a shit, even if china is involved.

IF this idea was to work, you'd actually have to get a girl who was really willing to go meet up with Chris and follow through, in addition to showing her tits and china to him and even in this case, I highly doubt he'd do it because then he'd feel like he was in a position of power. One of the reasons he needs a sweetheart is because he needs a mommy he can fuck, someone who will get a job and support him financially, keep the house clean, etc.
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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 23:53 No.5226'''

>>5217

You're exactly right, and this is because Chris was raised to believe his autism was his excuse for everything, and an uncivilized leech like him is in love with the fact he doesn't have to abide by things like rules, social norms, or just growing up past 12-years-old. It's his parents' fault, how is he going to be expected to be hygienic or clean up his own filth when his parents are festering in that garbage dump they call a home? How can he be expected to get a job and support himself when his parents are more than happy to let him do nothing? This situation is disgusting and his parents are lowlife rednecks who obviously don't give a shit about him or his future.

At the risk of sounding like an apologist, I'm not, and I consider Chris to be a less-than-human plaything of the internet. I really don't consider him a real person, to be honest. Chris isn't delusional and he's not far from 30-years-old either; he knows exactly what the situation is but he doesn't want to change it for the world because who wouldn't want to live like a child with mommy and daddy playing videogames forever without responsibility or obligations? The only twist is he's also a maniacal pervert raised by a bigoted, sexist dad from the last century who probably expects a woman to fuck him, love him, and coddle him like his mom. It's not like Chris has considered getting a job to support his "future daughter" or wife. He wants another mommy and he has no real value of women in the first place.

This is why Chris will fuck dogs and burn his house down if it means his troll girlfriends will promise that they'll suck his dick, coddle him, and adopt to his grotesquely contorted lifestyle of do-nothingness. Then again if they pushed Chris to get a job, stop playing videogames, or sell his stupid shit all you hear is the childish whine of "NO!" a la the climactic Julie audio and it won't happen. Chris loves his lifestyle and he justifies it with autism which is bullshit because plenty of autistic retards (even worse than Chris) can mainstream by getting a job or doing what's expected of them in society - probably because their parents wouldn't want to put up with their shit forever. I know my parents wouldn't.

So with that said, there's no moral sympathy owed to Chris at all. White knight bullshit comes from people who have zero clue what they're talking about, and I dare any of these faggots to befriend Chris (especially if you're female) IRL and count the hours until you realize his shit doesn't come from being mentally defected with autism and you hate his guts. If you're female, then count the seconds until this gross fetal accident tries to touch you or convince you to swallow his cum.

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-05 01:50 No.5238'''

>>5226

This.

Also, I think the main crux comes from the fact that he has his feet in both worlds. Like you said, he is only willing to go so far out of his childhood to get what he wants.

This is where most of the lulz come from. He loves sitting around playing video games, making cool stories about his imaginary characters and generally acting like a child. All this stuff was fun when we were kids. We all did it. I used to veg out on video games and play pretend with my friends.

Then of course, adulthood hits. Then we all realize that there is stuff that is way better. Like losing our virginity. So we put down the controllers, get some jobs and move on to new stuff. There is hardship, but we reap major benefits from working hard, then having a nice house and someone to fuck at the end of the day. Add on some new thrills and so on...

But instead of putting all this shit aside to have a new adventure, Chris wants to drag it all with him, kicking and screaming. If he just stuck to his childish things, we would never even know he existed. But because he wants adult things while never giving up anything from his childhood... EVERYONE NOTICES. Because you just can't do it.

It's kind of like getting a choice of dessert. You can have bubblegum flavored ice cream or fudge ripple. When you are young, bubblegum is great but as you get older you get new tastes and forgo one for the other.

Chris wants both servings of ice cream. At the same time. And he didn't finish his vegetables.

And that's what he thinks everything in life is like, asking for ice cream. Whine enough and you get it. Because this worked when he was a kid. Now he thinks it will work when he is older, but he doesn't whine only for kid things, now he whines for adult things.

If he ever did land a woman, she would tell him to throw away the bubblegum flavor and start eating fudge ripple. And that would not fly with him AT ALL.

It really makes me think, how interesting a social experiment it would be to see him try and live the married life. Just exactly what he would do once the honeymoon period was over and there's no china without a week of hard work, paying the bills and keeping the house in shape.

WE WILL NEVER KNOW THANK GOD

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:47 No.5215'''

People with Autism (or at least, really low-functioning people like Chris) tend to "attention whore" themselves about certain little things that makes them (feel) "more special". I'm sure if Chris found out he had a rare blood type or a double-jointed finger, he'd be all over it and inappropriately bring it up at every chance he got. He does the same thing with being 1/16th Native American, "related" to Anne Boleyn, and etc. It's all to fuel his autistic narcissism.

No, Chris definitely does not have heterochromia, and his right eye is actually one shade off due to pinkeye (Only noticeable when viewed very closely). However, Chris still puts allot of emphasis on it and thinks it's a positive thing to "brag" about, especially when talking to girls (Like I really need to say how telling a girl your eye color is different due to PINKEYE, is information you shouldn't share)

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 20:06 No.5189'''

[...]

The thing is, you start to get over the whole "oh he has a disability, they should leave him alone" thing when you realize that beneath the Autism, he's still a sexist bigoted pervert of a man. His stupid parents, who live in complete filth, have obviously never cared enough to seek appropriate support for him and his disability and let him leech of tax payer dollars and live in a complete fantasy world at the age of 27.

Chris' life is just one of those really "out there" oddities that is entertaining as hell to observe.

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-03 23:56 No.5030'''

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually becoming bored of the whole Chris Chan trolling thing. Not even like troll's remorse. It's just that every troll is the goddamn same. Pick up the strings, make Chris do a little dance, repeat until bored, pass the strings to someone else, repeat from step 2.

It doesn't even take skill to troll him. He'll believe anything you say, guaranteed. This has been proven repeatedly, and it doesn't mean anything to prove it anymore. Something needs to happen again. An in-person meeting or something. Shit, it doesn't even need to be in person. But Chris has taken this to the point where an epic breakup is in order. Tell him you'll meet him at the airport and never show up. Better yet, tell him you'll meet him at the nearby mall and never show up, but have someone with a video camera scouting the area. (Doing the video camera thing at the airport would probably get you v&)

Do something. Just cut the line and let the remaining lulz drain out before this starts getting pathetic again like it did with JULAY.

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'''falsion 2009-05-04 13:00 No.5143'''

The thing is, what you've suggested has already been done.

Everything you can think of has been attempted or pulled off at this point.

We had him to out of state to meet JULAYY, and he drove all the way to fucking Ohio. We even had trolls meet him in real life, and troll him IRL.

But guess what? He's not phased by any of it. He may get a little upset about it, but the next day he is back to his same old dumb ass self.

The only things that piss him off are people messing with his sweetheart, being called a homo, or him feeling like he's being oppressed by an organization (Nintendo, Wikipedia, Unilever) of some kind.

I understand how you feel, and even I feel the same way. But it's not the trolls fault. But more so that Chris is a fucking retard, and you can't ask much out of someone who is a complete fucking idiot. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 13:52 No.5147'''

The main problem is that Chris is extremely delusional and narcissistic partially due to having his ego stroked by trolls so much.

Chris doesn't get too phased by women leaving him because he knows there's a whole line of women (read: trolls who want to be his new BOYFRIEND FREE GIRL) because he thinks he is God's gift to women (I mean, HIS MOM SAYS HE'S HANDSOME, AND HIS MOM WOULDN'T LIE, WOULD SHE?). Unless you could get people to stop trolling him by pretending to be his e-girlfriend, when the threat of not having someone to move onto will be real for Chris, we're always going to need someone to do this stick.

The only thing that really pisses Chris off is when people call him a homo but because his parents restrict his time online, he can't really spend lots of time online looking at people calling him a homo are.

Telling Chris to meet you at the airport and not show up is stupid, because that's just like what happened when he drove to Cleveland but no one was there, and he was like "Ah darn, guess I drove to Cleveland for nothing."

IRL stuff does fuck him up, just not in the ways you think. Why Chris seems so crazy now is because that date he had IRL really fucked with his mind. However, not too many trolls are willing to spend time and money to travel down to Ruckersville, VA to troll Chris and getting Chris outside of his house would prove to be a challenge as his ideal first date would be inside his own house.

==Things that piss him off a lot/give him stress==
*Being called a homo
*Saying you are the original creator of Sonichu
*Saying you are the mayor of CWCville
*When a girl rejects his advances
*When jerks take all the pretty girls because heaven forbid he get stuck with a girl who is even slightly sub-par
*Clyde Cash stealing shit from him
*His father telling him to get out of the house and do something with his life
[[Category:Not TRUE and HONEST]]

User:James Lamp-Eye/Collection

2010-08-21T21:40:40Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{Apocrypha}}
This is where I keep some posts from PVCC and /cwc/ that I think contain insight on Chris. Don't take any of it as fact, but these are interesting to read anyhow.
==From PVCC==
Developmentally, in some ways, Chris has caught up to that 16 year old self he wasn't back then. He thinks that if he went back to those days now, he'd be some pimp. Since he graduated, he hasn't made any friends and he hasn't had anything happen to him other than the constant cycle of video games/sleep/mcdonalds/video games/sleep. All he can concentrate on is his highschool years and when he had people who raised his self esteem (teachers, fellow students attempting to be nice).

He does long for companions, such as when he went to that monster truck (?) event. He went by himself and probably saw all the men laughing and hanging out together. When he saw that couple, that probably pushed him over the edge, that he was truly alone. Once again, a jerk had a sweetheart and he didn't. He was miserable. It isn't his fault though! If he had stayed at his high school home, his friends would still be with him and he'd have a sweetheart and his PS3 and life would have been perfect. --TruthReturns
===Achievements===
In the last 10 years probably even more(I'd say 15 years) Chris has had so little proper contact he doesn't understand him self in comparison to anyone else other than the hollow pity-"praise" he gets from parents and guardians. Which he probably sees as compliments to his greatness. So when his mother calls him smart, that means he thinks he's smarter than almost anyone.

Also I'd like t note the videogames, his collection seemed weird. Most of his titles were crappy, player friendly literally-baby games. We can also see that he's inept at LBP platforming despite how much he plays it. He plays Guitar hero as much with his 24/7 free time and can't even do expert mode despite years of playing.

I'd like to make a comparison to his life, Which was metaphorically set to easy mode. Chris got on the honour roll for doing remedial courses. He got obscene amounts of praise for trivial things because he was (high functioning)autistic and because he didn't have any real friends throughout school he was oblivious to the fact that his accomplishments weren't as grand as his parents, teachers and "gal pals" said they were.

He also got away with a lot of things like sleeping in class. His outbursts always being someone elses fault, all sorts.It probably lead on from there because here was a guy who wasn't actually doing too well being showered with endless praise without any criticisms. --Drlugae

:That, and also I would say the entire family is into self-aggrandizing, probably as a way to compensate for having such unimportant, miserable lives. For example, they (not only Chris, but Barb and Bob as well as seen on the e-mails to Nintendo and the conversation with Emily) seem to feel the need to mention to everyone that Bob has one patent and that he came up with the controls for plastic molding machines, without which "there would be no Nintendo or plastic bottles or anything".

:Nevermind that, 99.9% sure, Bob's boss told him "hey, we need some controls for that new machine we're building, get on it" and if Bob hadn't come up with the design, some other guy would have. He didn't invent anything revolutionary, he just did his job and that was it. I wrote a formula in Excel this morning that compared the values in several cells and performed an operation only if certain conditions were met. Maybe I should patent my formula and then I could claim that without it, you couldn't balance your checkbook correctly.

:Likewise, Barb was not just a secretary, she was an "Executive Assistant at Bumfuck Regional Bank Collections Center" or something like that. They always want to make it sound like she had more authority and importance than she really had. --El Misto

===Chris's understanding of [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic11P2.jpg humor]===
Regular obnoxious people would just quote Family Guy in situations where it's neither appropriate or funny. Chris will quote Family Guy in situations where it's neither appropriate or funny and has horrible, horrible implications.

So if a character in Family Guy playing the Virgin Mary says a one-liner about not being a virgin, it's okay for any of your characters playing the Virgin Mary to quote that one-liner verbatim, even if your character is seven years old. Or three years old.

Chris doesn't really understand humor beyond characters saying "silly" or "dirty" things. He's not even good at repeating jokes he's heard. He just knows that if he puts a bunch of video game characters together and they tell jokes he's heard on TV he likes the result.

Also, he's going against the tone of his story to make this joke. Sonichu and Rosechu aren't (intentionally) supposed to sick and dysfunctional, it's supposed to be cute and heartwarming, especially in this Christmas story. So, if a prepubescent character makes a sex joke or he shows Sonichu lurking in the garage, silently ogling Rosechu's ass it comes off as weird and disturbing, although Chris meant for these moments to be funny and romantic, respectively. Also Chris doesn't know how to flirt either so when he's ogling or groping women he thinks it's an appropriate sign of affection.

tl;dr: Chris doesn't understand fellow humans so any jokes he tries to make are horrifying. --Anaconda

===What's the cause of autism, Chris?===
I swear in one of the Mumbles, Chris admits autism is certainly genetic ("has a genetic component" or "factor" or something. Memory's slightly fuzzy, but). I think it was the Father Call, months later, that he said it being genetic was only a myth. I thought he was deliberately lying to get away with making tard babies with Kay-cee's vagina, and now it looks like he really does believe it's not genetic.

Then again, he said Roach started his Autism first of all.

-> Autism caused by being locked in a room full of toys
-> Autism certainly genetic
-> Autism is not genetic, for no apparent reason
-> Autism caused by vaccines

Feels like I'm forgetting something here. --Huegbox
:You forgot the fact that it was pointed out to him that excessive television viewing can also be the cause. He tried to write that off as differnt from "natural autism" and was told off for it.

:Let me find the post...

{{quotebox|Then told Chris there have been studies linking watching too much television to autism. Chris then pulled out of his ass that those people had ARTIFICIAL AUTISM which is different from NATURAL AUTISM. He quickly got corrected on that.}}

:So yeah, not only does he have a long and confusing list of things he claims are responsible for autism, he also claims there are different types of autism. Kind of a multiple flavours sort of thing.. --Fuckinstupid

::Damn... if there's a proof that Chris's head is literally empty, with nothing in it but Seth McFarlane, Sonichu and Fiddle Bitch Blanket, it's this. --Da_Nuke

===Chris will never work===
Folks, we all remember the proposition made by fuckingstupid, to review games for a blog and get paid.

He could work at home and continue to do what he does best, play games, hell even review LBP, and get paid for it, but no, he turned it down.

Lets put this in perspective people, a little pile of money got up and walked over to him and pleaded
"please take me, and continue life as normal, just link your review to a blog"

and Chris replied

"No, no, no, your not good enough for me to take, plus its too much work to take you and stuff you in my pocket, go away foul bastion of commerce!"

What the fuck people? He's so stupid, it makes me wonder if he's just crazy. This is laziness to such a an extent its the very definition of Sloth.

We're all laughing now, and I'm there with you, but honestly I've become ok with the idea of Chris becoming homeless in years to come. I have a feeling that tugboat won't last for the rest of his life, somehow, when his parents are both gone, he'll find a way to lose it. By then, none of us will know, Chris will be some ancient afterthought residing back in the far reaches of our memories.
And Chris has not gained enough good karma, if any, up to this point of his life for the universe to save him when the time comes when he needs help.

The way I see it, almost every trolling effort, if not all, has in some way been an attempt to help Chris, teach him a lesson. More recently, Crass brought up the employment situation with him, asked him his plans for the future, and its apparent these are not things that concern him in any way.

With all that said, Chris will never seriously seek active employment on his own behalf, much less for anyone else. I can see a few things happening in the future for Chris, with what could be perceived as an unfair outcome for most of us here.

His parents pass away, not at once, but a year apart. He receives and inheritance in the form of their life insurance, but these are put into a trust which pays Chris a small stipend each month. His lawyer or whomever is in charge of this trust pays the house bills, which belongs to Chris now, from that trust.
Chris remains unchanged for years, until his demise.

Its unfair that Chris remains in a state of ignorant bliss with no care in the world, despite those he makes up on his own. But keep in mind, he will have no family, no heirs, and no love in his future. If anything, I wouldn't be surprised to find out if he found a way to blow his inheritance, or someone takes it all away from him. There are many Joshua Martinez's out there in the world, both male and female.

And thats why I feel Chris will never work another day in his life, even if his tugboat is taken away from him as fuckingstupid suggested, I doubt he ever will.

He'll always be happy being unemployed dreaming of little yellow electric hedgehogs racing across CWCville carrying his daughter to him. --Reved2k

===What can break Chris?===
If there's one good thing I have to say about Chris, he kinda of has a goku get-em attitude. Nothing can keep him down, even if he does occasionally rage about jerkops and Megan. Except he's so resilient, he's immune to learning from his mistakes (Although he's learned to say he does. Tiny difference, I know.)

He doesn't understand death.
He doesn't understand that actions have consequences.
He doesn't understand human emotions.
He doesn't understand why he gets in trouble.
He boggles my mind when I think about it too hard, about how he has learned things beyond where his mouth is so he can shovel crap in it. I'm amazed he can even use computers when I try to wrap my mind around his.

I've said before, I think a really big part of the Kacey saga's success has to do with the happy ending. He doesn't realize they're trolls, and I hope he never does. It should be easy to keep him thinking that, anyway. They're not dead either, and I hope they have a happily ever after for ever and ever. All it takes to make Chris stop giving a shit is have the other party be revealed as slanderous trolls or dead, and that brings them down to the same level of validity in his mind.

Although it was for the same reason a little kid cries because he didn't get the toy car he wanted, it did bother him enough to cry in front of the camera. Yes, it was mostly exaggerated, but there was a very small amount of real tears. I don't know if he cried over Megan leaving him. I don't know if he did cry about Patti's death, I'll bet he cried a little and then did his Donald Duck impression. When Barb dies and they notice after a week or so, he might cry a bit more that the one person who didn't give him a whole lot of Stress has left and he doesn't know when she'll be back, but he'll probably stop caring after another week. Actually, I can't say what I'll guess. He was pretty reluctant to visit her in the hospital, and he's heartless, so he'll probably *SIGH* and whine about the heavy burden and use it as an excuse for erratic behavior in the future. On the other hand, who knows, it might shake him up.

The Liquid saga was also most excellent because I think it prodded a very sensitive area that probably is the most sensitive area, his very identity. He's so obssessed with himself, it makes perfect sense. He sure bitched about all the fake merchandise, but Liquid + Kacey really got him pissed. His top priority is having a Mommy He Can Fuck, far above a Sonichu franchise, and far above Crystal.

But even still, he cried a bit on camera, milked it for all it was worth, and the very next day he's bragging about a piece of paper. It didn't keep him down. It probably didn't even shake him up for more than a few hours. I think a field agent or someone a while back said that the Chris Rage we see is usually not genuine (I swear, in all those videos where he's just going "HRRRRRRRGH RAAAAAARGH" he's got this shit-eating cheshire cat grin. He doesn't even look angry! What kind of facial expression is that?!), though I think his NOW NOW NOW NOW NOOOOWWW video had some true, honest emotions. Probably because it was his parents pressuring him, and since they're still more human than he is, they were bothered enough to have it getting on their nerves for more than a day, and so they bothered him. It had to be constant pressure coming from the outside.

The Father Call showed two triggers; calling him fat, and calling him lazy. I'm not really amused by calling him gay anymore, because it's always the same thing for years. These two are fresh (Well, calling him fat is getting a response where it would be largely ignored in the past. He e-yelled at Viv and some other person, but in the Mumbles he seemed to ignore it.) and probably unexplored as far as disgusting entertainment from him goes.

It's way too bad he'll never be able to see what he looks like. He might get a vague idea if Barb tells him what a horrible freak he is, but that will never happen. When Kacey kept telling him why he sucked, he still thought it had more to do with Liquid claiming to be him.

Anyway, I've deduced that stealing his identity, cockblocking him, and calling him fat and lazy seem to get on his nerves more than anything. Perhaps his stressors can be cycled? Eventually, he should get desensitized to some things, right? Right? --Huegbox

*I disagree. The Real Chris' Top Priority Hurr Durr is [[Little Big Planet|LITTLE PIG BLANKET]]. Or any vidya he latches on. All other things he desires are instruments to ensure the existence of that priority or deriatives from that. He needs a second fuckable Mommy because someone needs to feed him and look after him ensuring he can play 10 hours a day. He wants a Sonichu franchise because it would allow him to feel MORE related to vidya than buying all the games and items on dat pstriple. He doesn't really want china. Chris had been raised on video games. They're centrefold of his reality - from them he learns social cues, music, practical skills and knowledge. He wants to LIVE a videogame, and that's why he's unbreakable - he treats life as a game, and what do you do when you fail at a game? - you repeat the same repetative actions over and over untill a slight difference in the speed of which you press the buttons does the trick. You get killed, then respawn, to go and do the same shit. Games are the only thing Chris feels comfortable around, so no wonder he's a fucking robot. He doesn't want say, Kacey because he needs to get laid or get in a relationship. He isn't raging because a piece of china is drifting away. No. He rages because he's losing, because he cannot complete the level. When accused of being lazy, he rages because someone attacks his crucial achievements and save points, not because it questions his worth as a human. And etc. And, on the account of running his life, all the love QUEST, he's pretty much succeeds - he gets it all. Conflict, action, villains, and NPCs. So don't sweat it. The only thing that could break Chris is if all his consoles, pseye, computer and cards were to be taken away. --Sawnichu

===Chris is finished with Sonichu===
I think we can all agree that Chris's main goal with the comic is to entertain himself. Achieving fame and china may also be motives, but he thinks so highly of himself that he seems to think if he tosses everything he can out in the open, people will see his inner genius/beauty/whatever and adore him for it automatically.

Anyway, I think he's taken the entire Sonichu project as far as he possibly can and that's why he's dragging his feet with the comics and needs "sweethearts" to be motivated. Not just because he's lazier than ever. He's always been pretty lazy, but his excitement for Sonichu is no longer strong enough to overcome it. He's done everything he set out to do with Sonichu and is now left with nothing.

Take for example, Sonichu and Rosechu's relationship. He's drawn/told everything from them first meeting, their first kiss, FUCKING, and then recently revealing (in a single image) they were married (in his imagination) a long ass time ago, and they have 3 kids. That's it. He can't develop Sonichu and Rosechu's relationship any further (except maybe having them die together) and that was one of his favorite parts of his comic.

He's also used his comics as a vehicle for vengeance against those who've "wronged" him (mostly those who protected innocent people from him) in real-life. This is a continuous problem with trolling, and I'm sure he felt better as he was making those, but in the end, it doesn't erase the painful memories of what really happened.

Little Big Planet gave Chris a chance to create a Sonichu game of sorts, but it was shitty (awful design), boring (just a retread of the first comic), and level-layout was clearly made up on the fly. Chris was probably discouraged from making a Sonichu game when he realized making a fun/good-looking game is a conscious effort and not simply a mish-mash of vague ideas (which Sonichu seems to be about generally). Again, Sonichu has left Chris feeling unfulfilled.

There's still a few things unresolved in the comic, but I don't Chris cares about them at all.
-Defeating Slawheel. He no longer hates MLW (I'll believe it. His mom convinced him the signs were stupid anyway, and there's been plenty of trolls who pissed him off worse since then).
-Magichan/Silvana. Magichan always seems to get shafted (despite appearing the most powerful after Chris), and Silvana's reletively new so I don't think he's all that attached to either of them. It's also possible Chris may have been disappointed by one of the other relationships he threw together when it didn't give him the same "high" he seems to get from Sonichu/Rosechu or Blake/Bubbles. If such is the case, he'd definitely have less enthusiasm when it came to pairing Magichan off.
-Darkbind/Zelina. Since Dakbind never really appears again, I'm guessing Chris's interest in him simply didn't pan out. Zelina's kind of pointless as they need to find the sonichu balls to rescue Crystal.
-Crystal. Why should Chris care? She's just girl-him (even Chris doesn't need two Christian Weston Chandlers in his comic), only more two-dimensional because she fits Chris's narrow view of women. He doesn't need her to support his character in battle (he has 80 bajillion hedgehogs for that) and he doesn't need her for moral/emotional support either (he could get that from his sweetheart of the week). Also, trapping her in the mirror dimension didn't evoke "SUCH TENDER FEELINGS" in the real-life Megan like he had probably hoped it would when he showed her the comic. Crystal had failed her brother.

In conclusion, I think Chris is finished with Sonichu. Anything he could have Sonichu do to entertain him has already been done, and half the time, Chris may have not been satisfied with the end result. I also think the 3 babies and transformers were attempts to revitalize Chris's ardour for drawing the comic, but clearly they didn't work. However, since this is the guy who saves his FUCKING WISDOM TEETH, he's never going to let go of his precious baby and admit he just doesn't care anymore, or take off that fucking medallion for good.

Now I ask you, is there any reason why Chris would want to draw more comics without outside interference? What in his man-child mind and interests could possibly be left to do with Sonichu? What stories are left to tell that isn't just wrapping up loose ends? --[ J ]

===Chris likes sympathy===
*"Chris is trying a method he's probably seen in many movies. He's trying to get sympathy, where a main character of a romantic comedy in the usualy serious situation where their lover falls in love with the richer or smarter villain/anti-hero characr. The main character would say "I'm fine with your choice, choose person X if you think you'll really happy with them and I will respect your choice either way" then the love interest will eventually find that the main character is the better man/woman for her/him. Chris thinks by saying lines like those it will guarantee him Kacey, because it works like that in the movies. He's expecting her to go with Liquid then "realise she was wrong for not choosing chris" then drag herself back to him and marry him. So they could live "happily ever after" with Kacey working and cooking and cleaning and paying bills while Chris retires from drawing comics to play video games and shit his pants all day. While Chris can acknowledge things are fiction or not real, he thinks that fiction concepts are applicable to real life (e.g. in Mumble when he said Homer & Peter Griffin survive even though they're idiots so Chris & "Julie"/Bluespike would survive living together with neither of them working)." --Drlugae
===Why does Chris hate da howmows?===
*"I doubt an extreme homosexual encounter, like being molested by someone fuels Chris hatred towards da homos. It's simpler than that. Chris is obsessed with sex and he desperately wants to stick his broken penis into a china, basically this is the only thing that motivates him. I think he's afraid potential girlfriends will believe the trolls and refuse to go out with him because they think he's gay. By Chris' fucked up logic calling him gay is sabotaging his love/fuck quest and his goal to lose his virginity so he goes full alert and enters tardrage mode. It doesn't help that kids called Chris a faggot and his parents most likely told him homosexuality is bad which is not surprising since old people like Bob and Barb hate gays because they were born into and grown up in a less tolerant society that wasn't so open about sexuality. I assume Chris is not a closet homosexual either, he's just unable to deal with homoerotic thoughts every male has once in a while, instead of moving on he panics because he believes only gay people have them and he doesn't want to be a homo since it's a bad thing, he cannot have china and the least thing he wants is to admit the trolls were right, so to keep himself straight he shows some boobies and pussy into his face by watching porn and fucking Kimmie." --Mudkips666
===Chris has no concept of what a friend is===
*"Another thing Chris has no concept of what a friend is. He has no empathy at all, and I doubt he understands other people other than 'I can fuck these and make baby, I can't fuck those.' The only reason he hates homosexuality is because he can't think beyond satisfying himself and his love (fuck) quest. Telling him to make friends with a guy is like telling him to think about penis and become gay. And for girls, he just thinks of them as walking sweet 'pussy and breasts.' Like with Kim. First he was fine, he didn't try anything because she had a boyfriend. But then he kept asking about her boyfriend and if they were having any problems. Then eventually Emiry tells him yes and, what does he do? He starts writing fucking love letters to Kim who is ''only supposed to be his friend''. He went from keeping his distance and talking to OH WOW AN OPENING, THE SWEET BREAST AND PUSSY ARENT TAKEN ANYMORE RAPERAPERAPE. Can Chris even understand the concept of friendship at all? Every girl who even does so much as to talk to him is MY LOVE QUEST IS FINALLY OVER. Not once has he ever thought, oh I'm not into this girl like that. No, every girl is a fuck target since they have the almighty uterus. I remember in middle school I knew this girl who played video games and she was like one of the bros, just a friend like anyone else. But say if Chris were in my shoes, no it'd just be another potential fuckbuddy. Goddamn it makes me rage. He doesn't give a shit about people other than what they can do for him, and since guys have a penis they're out of the picture. I can't think of a time he's genuinely cared about anyone, guy or girl. Even the few guy friends he's made were just because he thought they'd help him get laid. Maybe, just maybe if he could emphasize and actually care about people and see them as "people" not objects, he'd be (possibly 1%) less horrible of a person than he is now. Maybe he'd have a less retarded reason to hate homosexuality other than "I don't want to catch the gay" But no, he is a child. The text book definition of egocentric. In fact, this pretty much sums Chris up in a nutshell: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egocentrism And that's probably the thing I hate the most about Chris. I mean, if his brain were to somehow mature to the concrete-operational stage (which it obviously never did), and he wasn't so damn egocentric, I wonder if he'd be even half as bad as he is now." --Falsion
===Moral dilemma: given the choice between "be raped" or "rape a young girl"===
*"Let me play dumbass psychologist here. Maybe I'm wrong, there are people who know Fatty better than I do. Fatty has autism. This is not up for debate. Due to a combination of his own laziness, horrible parenting and bad special education/therapy, Fatty is unable to understand others' emotions. Fatty can't empathize with anyone. Fatty can't feel their emotions. Fatty can barely understand his own emotions. All he can understand is "feels good man" and "this is annoying/hurtful." Of course Fatty will answer "rape the young girl." Fatty knows that the other will involve him being annoyed/hurt. But Fatty can't comprehend someone being hurt. What Fatty CAN comprehend is that it is "annoying/hurtful" to be upbraided by LYLT for the wrong choice. Only sometimes he's so self-centered he can't even comprehend that. He really is retarded, you guys. He really is. [...] Chris will always pick whatever feels good to him and doesn't feel annoying/hurtful. The only time he might make a choice that seems "right" might be to avoid being annoyed/hurt any more by people telling him off... there are plenty of stories about this with Bob, for example. To me it seems pretty easy to figure out what Chris would do or what he would say. You just apply these simple parameters, and there you go." --Gusvansant
===Chris steals shit and improves it, duh===
*''The then later submitted his idea for "Simonchu"; it did not strike me as good at first.'' "Irony is so thick you could cut it." --Durpachu
**"It seems whenever Chris admits stealing something; he always has to add how he improved it, the original sucked, etc. In his Little Big Planet video, he says the big PS3 prop in the game was something he took from someone else. He then says it wasn't that good, so he made it better. Panda's Sonichu cover which he couldn't insult in any way, he still has to state in the comic that it 'was wisely chosen by me'." --Whyamideleted
===Moral development===
*"Chris has definitely not passed the stage of moral development where you don't do bad things to avoid punishment rather than understanding why they are actually bad." --Distress
===Chris's real life in the comics===
*"I'd like to see if we could try and tell Chris to put more personal info on the site instead of just his comic crap or retarded stories that aren't real. By personal info, I just mean like more anecdotes about his real life and stuff." --Bloopy
**"Chris likes living in a fantasy world where he's mayor and can transform into a hedgehog. He thinks this is HIS website. You can't gain entry into his personal details, unless, like in the Mumble chats, he's in his manic mode where he thinks he'll get laid and can't shut his mouth." --GeobuRohav
***"Pretty much. Chris' fantasy world is so intertwined with his real life events, that even if we get a new tidbit from him it will be shrouded in crazy bullshit. It's always been that way." --Megaman
===Why does Chris hate Mary Lee Walsh?===
*"I think he still hates [[Mary Lee Walsh|her]] because she was someone that actually stood up to him and let him know that his shit wasn't going to fly. She flat out told him his behaviour was unacceptable, and that it must cease immediately. Something his parents should have done years earlier. She didn't baby him, and didn't humour him or let it go. No, she made her expectations clear that he not act like a total fucktard in her college and she was in a position of authority to see that he stopped. That made him RAGE, how dare she straight up tell him what was and was not acceptable behaviour? The very idea that she was not buying into his special autistic baby shit just made his brain crack." --Dr Girlfriend
===The retarded CWC-way of doing things===
*"Chris seems to be unique in that he is pretty well developed in certain areas (communication, motor control, technical proficiency) while having huge gaps in strange places elsewhere in his personality. Most importantly, he seems to obsessively tie everything in life to video game style progressions. If he 'beats' ED, then the game will be over and all the bad things will disappear. If he follows the correct steps, then a gal-pal will become a girlfriend will become a sweetheart and he won't be lonely. Date one involves a kiss, so he tries to kiss Emily on the first date. Bob said that Chris played video games before he could even talk, so for Chris, video games provided a progressive structure that allowed life to make sense to him. When the trolls started to understand Chris' preferred progression methods, they took advantage of them and really fucked him up. This is why he falls for the same trick over and over. We call him 'selfish' because he has to do things the retarded CWC way. But the fact is, that is the ONLY way CWC is capable of operating. Chris needs to have his parents set up his life in such a way that he is able to follow the CWC way of living and have it be productive in some way. Do you really think CWC will wake up tomorrow and think 'You know what? I'm done with this Sonichu bullshit, I'm going to go apply for a job this morning.' Shit ain't gonna happen. It was really up to Barb to set Chris up in a way where he could succeed, and she blew it. He refuses to accept advice from people like Clyde Cash because it is delivered paternally, from a position of strength to one of weakness. No one likes to be talked down to like that. Not even retards." --DannyMothman
===Chris is a pervert===
*"The fact that he doesn't masturbate frequently doesn't shy away from the fact that he bought blowup dolls and posted nudes online after hardly knowing someone. Initial trollings of Chris show that he was the one who initiates the sexual stuff (take for instance the Blanca saga). I also cite his actions in the Emily trolling where he kept touching her and made that infamous comment infront of spencers. Note how he didn't do any of this while infront of Bob, so he knows what he is doing is inapproriate. He clearly can't control himself." --Xanatos
===Chris has potential to be a rapist===
*"I think Chris has potential to be a rapist if he ever managed to date a girl. Not like serial killer 'SHUT UP BITCH OR I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT UNLESS YOU SUCK MY DICK' type rapist but more like 'YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME BECAUSE I AM ENTITLED TO IT.' Imagine you're Chris (yes, it's scary). Imagine you're on an actual date - not like Megan, but with a woman who acknowledges this is an actual date and is somehow deluded to go three dates with you. It's the third date and you drive her to her place. You've known all your life that on the third date, people have sex. Not generally, for Chris, that's not how autistics work. They tend to make otherwise flexible social norms concrete so they can function - as you say, Chris's major structure for life is like that of a video game, and there's usually not major exceptions to it. In Chris's mind, the third date is when you have sex, no more, no less and he is in love with this woman so it's perfectly moral. Now he's never been on a real date (at least, one that didn't end in him getting trolled) so three dates would blow his mind, especially considering he's a 27 year old man who has never been on a date before. You're a frustrated "virgin with rage" and you feel like the world is unjust against you, denying you of true love and affection for most of your adult life, being constantly rejected by women. It'd take a troll on anyone, especially Chris. Yet now, for you, this is the moment - you have sex. It doesn't matter if she wants it, you just know that on the third date, you have sex, that is the rule, people follow rules and therefore she must follow the rule as well. So, you take what you think is yours and the next day, the newspaper headlines read 'AUTISTIC MANCHILD ARRESTED FOR RAPE.'" --Champthom
**"I agree that if he ever got to a third 'official' date, I could easily see him raping a girl who still said no. In fact, I would even go so far as to say he'd force himself on her while convincing himself that she was playing hard-to-get and he'd get fairly violent under the impression that that was what she wanted." --Sureiachan
===Chris is still a pervert===
*"Chris being a pervert and potential rapist isn't a 'misconception'. Audio recordings of his 'date' with Emily show how perverted he can get without adult supervision. Further proof can be found by anyone who's read his emails with Meghan. Several of Meghan's replies show her informing Chris she is uncomfortable with his advances, especially one where he pins her to a wall. Despite all her patience and politeness in refusing his advances, he thinks the best way to get her to fall in love with him is to draw a hideous picture of him fingering her, then putting it online. Let's not forget the 'Parappa The Rapper' contest where he flat out says he wanted to win the trip so he could have sex with Meghan in the hotel room. He also truly believes '3rd date ends in sex' is a social norm. He still uses sign tactics to try and attract women, despite Mary Lee Walsh explaining to him that any sane person would see it and assume he's soliciting sex. Last but not least, he might only masturbate twice a week, but if you can think of another adjective besides pervert to describe someone who draws furry porn, I'd like to hear it." --Dixie_demon
===Not retarded, just very stupid===
*"HE'S NOT 100% RETARDED, WE KNOW THAT. HE IS, HOWEVER, VERY, VERY, VERY DUMB. IT'S NOT A MENTAL DISABILITY, HE'S JUST FUCKING STUPID." ... "VERY FEW PEOPLE ON HERE STILL THINK HE CAN BE FIXED, EVEN THOSE WHO TRIED IN THE PAST ARE WELL AWARE HE'S A COMPLETE FAILURE AND WILL NEVER BE MORE THAN WHAT HE CURRENTLY IS. THIS ONE ISN'T A MISCONCEPTION AT THIS POINT, IT HASN'T BEEN FOR A WHILE. ONLY TOTAL NEWFAGS EVEN CONSIDER THE THOUGHT THAT CHRIS CAN BE REPAIRED, EVEN SLIGHTLY." ... "IT'S JUST FUNNY SEEING A 27 YEAR OLD GET ENRAGED BY 'YOU'RE A FAGGOT CHRIS', WHILE A MULTI-MONTH LONG, PLANNED, ELABORATE SCHEME TO GET ___ OUT OF HIM MAKES HIM GO 'OH' AND IMMEDIATELY MOVE ON WHEN IT FINALLY BLOWS UP IN HIS FACE." --BILLY MAYS
===At least we had good memories===
*"Don't get me wrong, I like the elaborate plans as I hope that Chris will totally lose his mind at the end but it seems like Chris will say 'Oh, ah well.' I believe it was about Blanca that Chris said 'Ah well, we had good memories.' At the end of this thing with Emily, Chris was just like 'Oh, did you get back to West Virginia alright?' Maybe it's eating him up on the inside but at least superficially it seems like it has no effect." --Champthom
** "That is a good point. Of course, you must remember that the ones who typically expose themselves as trolls have the fact that they are WOMEN in common. So, it makes sense that he will go easy on them and delude himself by still having fond memories where he can at the very least IMAGINE that he had a girlfriend." --Xanatos
===Degeneration of Chris from high school to college===
*"Anyways, this reminds me of something I saw in the slide show, Chris's high school graduation and Chris's college graduation. When he graduated high school. he was kinda gankly looking but he was pretty well dressed for Chris, nice gown, wearing the hat the right way, dress slacks and a shirt and tie underneath, pretty good. College? He wears his god damn medallion, the striped shirt he always draws himself in, his gown is wide open like he's a little kid who's disrobing himself in public, he looks like a total slob. My guess is that isolation really takes a toll on a man." --Champthom
**"That makes me wonder what happened to Chris during 2000-2004. In High School he comes off as an innocent, fairly close to normal (at least, normal for a mentally handicapped person) kid. Maybe he had a bit of a high opinion of himself & hobbies below his age level, but all sorts of people have those. . . . By 2004 (the year of Anna's "Crazy Pacer" story, correct?) he had become the overweight, clown shirt wearing, man hating virgin with rage we all know & love/hate. What caused this transformation? Sex drive kicking in? Not having enough contact with the outside world? Something else?" --SteveSteve
***"Well the two major changes were his sexual awakening and not having a school to go to everyday where he had people who more or less allowed him to associate with them. . . . College had to be overwhelming to him, everyone has a different schedule, and I doubt his professors briefed his classes about his special needs. So he went from that retard you had to be nice to or else you'd get in trouble, to that weird guy who has a hunk of clay around his neck. Naturally no one would want to associate with him. . . . However the reason he's such a popular target is because of how desperate he is, not only does this allow for easy trolling but a horny retard is hard to turn away from, it's all just too weird. If he had never started his love quest he'd be just another freak on the internet people would quickly forget about. If he never had a sexual awakening he'd still be sad and pathetic, but no one would want to pick on a guy whose entire adult life consists of playing with toys and games eagerly awaiting his birthday to see what toys and games his parents bought him (I've looked through the birthday photos a lot lol). But because he's the type that will sit around with a sign declaring his hatred for men and desire for a white mommy to come and fuck him, as Mr. Howell put it, he's to damn funny to ignore. . . . Not to mention all his real life problems came from his love quest, getting arrested, losing his friend [[megan]], and getting banned from every place a retard can spend his days outside." --Trapper
****"That is not exactly true, if you watch the song of Christian you'll note that at age 16 he acts similarily to how he does today(except not swearing and touching up girls) complaining that his teachers were discriminating him for his autism because he got an F in english and raging at all the other students in his class swearing and drinking , I think there was probably a strict dress code for high-school so his mother probably made sure he was dressed properly each day, in college there wasn't one so he dressed how he does now." --Drlugae
*****"I'd like to say Sonichu ruined him completely. He went nuts when he put on the medallion and started to do everything Sonichu and love quest. Yes, he had the Song of Christian, but before he was just a naricisstic probably not even autistic irresponsible idiot. But now he has SONICHU. I think Chris used the Sonichu World/CWCville as a way to justify anything to him. If he had a bad day because someone called him fat, Sonichu would say the person was just jealous, I'm sure. Basically Chris became the Chris we know today when he became an otherkin/otakin." --GenesisHime

===Facial recognition===

An addendum I'd like to make is a hypothesis I've been toying with that might explain why he failed to recognize the different pics sent to him by BlueSpike, and why he failed to recognize changing voices. I'm building this on the grounds of another hypothesis posted in Ye Olde Trolle Forume about why Chris's art sucked so hard yet he thought it was lifelike.

As the OP wrote back then, Chris is unable to tell how much his art sucks, because his brain lacks the required "hardware" to process visual information. The OP said back then this happens to him whenever he looks at something with a lot of visual information, said, the shelves of a supermarket, or pics from Chris's room: he just sees the shelves, but in his mind, his sight is distracted, gets lost, and he can't process shit. Likewise, whenever Chris sees a drawing or is trying to do something, his drawings come out like this because that's as far as his mind can handle, because he can only draw an over-simplified version of what he sees.

Now, what does being unable to process visual information means? Simple: this means he can't recognize the human figure.

This is a very important feature of Chris, because the human brain is hard-wired to recognize the human shape and easily spot the subtle details that make us look different from other fellow humans: the face, the eyes, the overall shapes. (As a side note, this is also why the Uncanny Valley exists, feel free to google the term if you want to find out more). Chris, however, cannot recognize the details in a person. To him, everybody looks the same; some are skinnier, some are rounder, but that's the only difference, because everybody looks the same. The only differences he can pick up are big, obvious differences: a girl with gargantuan tits or a marked hourglass figure, or a police officer in blue and white instead of a mall guard in brown.

Now, why I've been playing with this theory for these days? Because, if this theory is correct, this would neatly and simply explain not only why he fell so easily to BlueSpike and PricklyWickly's ruses, or why he can't draw for shit, but this also explains another of Chris's mysteries: his self-image.

Chris thinks he looks scrawny, youthful and handsome, when in fact he's a bloated blob of fat with a permanent expression that makes you think you're looking at the eyes of a dead fish. Putting body language issues aside, he sees himself that way because, back in high school, he had to spend 2 hours staring at the mirror and examining himself while memorizing his own looks. Before that, he probably didn't knew how he looked. He would probably say the guy in the mirror was him because Snorlax said so, but chances are he was capable of not recognizing himself in a photograph. When he memorized his own looks, he developed his self-image... only problem was, the knowledge of his self-image never reached a subconscious level, only staying at a conscious level. And now, whenever he looks at himself in the mirror, since he can't recognize the guy inside, he just gives up, pulls out his outdated self-image from 10 years ago, and says it's him. And since Chris was scrawny and slender back then, he says he ain't got a single pound of overweight. Which is why Chris claims to be in great physical shape even after ballooning so much: his narcissism certainly plays a good part, but his perceptual deficiencies are also partly responsible.

tl;dr Chris is a bloated blob of fat not only because he thinks himself the Center of the Universe, but also because he still full-heartedly believes he looks the same way he used to look in high school, and he should know, because he spent 2 hours memorizing his own looks back then.

'''Later:'''

Chris at first used to see how all the guys who had a girlfriend seemed to be so happy around them and vice-versa, at least to the extent that his malfunctioning brain allowed. He also probably learned that having a hot girlfriend makes you awesome. And then he learned that older people get a girlfriend, have sex, marry and have children. But he never felt interested in them lasses, probably because he was lazy or just plain asexual, until he left high school, when he finally reached some sort of mental puberty. Then he shat brix when he saw how his so-called BFF Sarah Hammer was taken away from him by Wes Iseli. He would look at getting a girlfriend as something like a videogame, that is, something with a clearly and unambiguously defined action and result: if Chris gets a girlfriend, he will be happy (it's a nebulous reward, yeah, but this is how Chris's mind works).

Sad and butthurt, he came to the conclusion that he needed a Sweetheart as a replacement goldfish for Sarah, because this way, Chris would repair his Shattered Heart and Tortured Soul. --Da_Nuke

===Chris can't recognize his own self===
. . . Obviously, Chris is fat and seems to deny this in the comics and even the emails at some point. I believe he said something along the lines of, "I'm not fat" and completely ignored everything else that was said. I don't think that this is because of a mental condition. Remember, his mother is constantly praising him and telling him things he would like to hear. She would say nice things in regards to his appearance, too. Because Chris has very few friends and has only a childish and incomplete concept of dating and women in general, he wouldn't be called "fat" under normal circumstances. People who vaguely knew him, such as at school, would also treat him kindly because he is autistic. In regards to his physical condition he has only heard his mother's compliments and accepts those as the truth.

In the comic he draws himself much thinner than he actually is, because he feels good about his appearance. He doesn't think he is fat. As you said it may have something to do with his perception of himself back in high school. Back then he was fat, but much less so than he is now. He also compliments himself by mentioning his creativity and that he is a child at heart... You're probably right about him memorizing his appearance from then having something to do with all of this. Perhaps he hasn't noticed any changes in the last 5 or so years? Alternatively, he could be insecure about his girth and his appearance in the comic is a way of denying the truth and making himself feel better. It makes sense. If you are going to draw yourself as a character in a comic, you would hide the traits you dislike about yourself and highlight the positive aspects.

Again, he doesn't seem to realize that others think that he is overweight. The people who would mention it are the kinds of people Chris would never hang around with, and the people Chris actually does hang out with, such as any woman sympathetic enough to speak with him, would never bring it up. I don't think it has anything to do with his autism. --Crash

*"I agree with this. If anyone remembers back during the Blanca saga, people were sending pictures of different girls who had the same basic features of one another (tannish[fuck, some of them were pale], dark hair) and Chris agreed all of them were Blanca, the same girl. And this is why I'm not too terribly worried about running into Chris out in town. He's unable to tell the difference between two seperate people. Hell, for all we know he probably approached some poor girl already and made claims they were Emily." --LoveYouLongTime
===Speculation on his sexual psychology===
*"Maybe he just would like to get dominated." --Feelsgoodman
**"I don't think Chris would be comfortable with or enjoy beign dominated like that, his sexlogs clearly show his actual sex fantasies are rather vanilla and he feels comforted by beign a teacher of sorts, telling young girls how to pleasure themselves and such." --DrShoggoth
***"'I just want to teach you' is actually a classic line sex predators use. It's a paternalistic thing, often a man who was abused by their father will seek to have that same complete level of control over a child. Not to say that I think Chrissy is a sex predator, but he definitely never got the level of respect from Bob that he sought growing up. (Bob often called him 'dummy.') I think all the Love Quest and daughter bullshit are a manifestation of Chris' desire to control another person in the same way he has always been controlled by his parents. ...I wish I could say with any conviction that Chris would not sexually abuse a theoretical daughter." --DannyMothman
===Emotional incest===
*"Chris is obviously looking for a replacement mom, and I wonder what role his mom plays in it. Did she tell him he needed someone to take care of him? . . . Bob might have his flaws, but I don't think he coddles Chris quite so much. It's actually kind of interesting when you notice that Chris used to insist that he and Bob were the only men who aren't jerks, but now he doesn't have much good stuff to say about Bob. On the other hand, he'll brag to girlfriends about making his mom proud because he didn't crap his briefs. ''Something'' might be going on, perhaps some type of emotional incest. Most definitions I've found about that seem to be about making a child something of a surrogate spouse, but it looks like mother/son emotional incest can be about a mother trying to keep a son around as a child. (I'd drop in a link, but I'm not finding any terribly ''good'' ones right now.) We don't know what his parents' relationship is like, but we do know that they don't sleep together anymore and I don't get the impression that they have much of a relationship at all anymore. Besides, we know Snorlax has been in other relationships and abandoned Cole, but for some reason, she's stuck around for Chris. It could be that despite all his fail, she saw him as her only shot at redemption and thinks it's too late to back out now." --Trista
===Chris is not gay, but not straight===
*"He's not gay. He's not straight either. He has the mentality of an 8 year old who has yet to grasp the concept of reproduction fully. If you think about it, when you were 8 years old what was your sexual orientation? Most people knew what the gender roles were at that age but they never really thought about it. If you were a boy you knew that you needed to find a girl to play house with. Sex to a child is similar to a concept like gravity, it's difficult to actually think about although you know what it is. Chris just sees that he needs to get paired with a girl to be happy, the bible, his parents, and the internet be damned. This is what he wants because this is what he knows. Anything else is 'just plain wrong'." --Dumbnigger
===Why he can't be fixed===
*"I don't believe Chris can be fixed the way he is now. If you were surrounded by all the toys and games you could ever want, lived comfortably in your doting parents' house, and never had to work for your money, would you want things to be different (assuming you're a coddled pathetic sack of flesh and you don't even know it)? An important first step in fixing yourself is having the willingness to change. Chris has demonstrated time and time again that he doesn't want to do this, his life is too cozy, and any flaws he has can be chalked up to stress or autism or any of his other usual excuses. He doesn't even realize how sexist he is, how disgusting his habits are, how all of his girlfriends will be trolls now and forever - he can't be redeemed because he doesn't want to be redeemed. He doesn't want to believe he is sexist, disgusting, and unlovable. . . . He could become a decent, hard-working person, one who respects women (and men, because they are not all jerks), one who actually showers, and one who can be lovable...but as it stands now he will never become one of these good people. He's too comfortable living in filth and convincing himself the ladies are secretly attracted to him." --me
===Humanity must change===
*"he wants humanity to change to accomidate him." --Tsuyu22
===CHRIS CAN TOO COOK!===
*"You guys are giving him to much credit he didn't say he could cook meat and vegetables, when asked what he could cook the response was 'vegetables *long pause* meat.'" --Trapper
===Does Chris know he's fat?===
*"Chris doesn't think he's overweight, though." --Anaconda
**"You know what? I bet he does know this. I bet he completely and totally realises it but thinks that if he tells everyone he isn't, they will have to believe him. Which is just as retarded quite frankly. He can recognise other people as overweight. He must be able to see the blob forming in front of him. I mean it is big enough for him not to see his duck. . . . His logic is probably that 'well, I'm still really strong with lots of muscle and I still have a great personality. So all the girls will love me. I just need to convince them I am not fat.'" --Fuckinstupid
***"Remember he can't fully recognize the human figure or face, one day he spent like 2 hours memorizing his own looks, he learned how he looks in the context of intellectual learning, he hasn't "updated" his self-image ever since, and thus chances are when he sees himself in the mirror he still sees his high school self." --Da_Nuke
***"He doesn't. You're talking about a retard that at 27 still uses his mom as a credible source when she says he's handsome." --Anthony Sullivan
****"I wouldn't be suprised if he thinks he's bigger because of his rigorous guitar hero standing up exercises and that the only reason he can't fit in his Ash costume is because his muscles are too big and he's gotten taller." --Drlugae
===A LiveJournaler writes about Chris, PVCC speculates===
*"So Sonichu returned to Alderman today. I am not sure what to make of him. He sits in his chair and draws his sonichu comics, harmless, i assme. Yet, I feel like he knows he's different. He knows that the world rushing in front of him is not his own. Surrounded by the "brightest" students in America, whatever that means, he sits in his chair and draws. 23 years old. I'm not sure he even graduated high school. In front of him texts of Plato, Faulkner, God, and Kleist swirl. Does he have the capacity to understand these works? Whether he can or not, I am not sure, but their is something in his eyes that realizes that there is a level of understanding and thought that he is unable to partake in. As he slumps lower and lower in his chair with each student he eyes reading or holding a book, he falls into himself- into the markers and colors on the page in front of him. (coffee idea) He seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand, and that is the hardest part of all." --([http://thereisbeautyin.livejournal.com/4791.html])
**"That is quite possibly the saddest thing I've ever read about Chris... It just FITS. :| I mean being fucked in the head is one thing, but knowing you're fucked in head, and realizing that there is nothing you can do..." --Goombapolice
***"I don't think that's the case though, at least not consciously. He's got an outsized ego because Barb has been feeding him that he's super talented, super smart, super creative since he was little. He doesn't bother to even try to understand the world around him because it doesn't hold his interest, and because he believes his way of thinking is better anyway. I don't think he considers himself fucked in the head or that there's nothing he can do - he believes his IQ is in the 300's and that he knows karate from watching it on TV. If that's not delusional I don't know what is. The way I see it, he's a 12 year old trapped in a 30 year old body, and lacks the self-awareness to realize it." --El Misto
===Reading Chris's face===
*"What's Chris's face saying in his video? Does anyone out there read faces well enough to venture a guess about some classic videos? One thing I noticed in the recent interview he did with that ScrewAttack guy. When the interviewer mentions Spax3's sexual fantasies about Cream the rabbit, a look of disgust and surprise crosses Chris's face. If you notice, however, the expression comes somewhat later than the original statement. Some would say it just took our favorite manchild a little longer to 'register' what was being said, but it seems to me more likely that Chris wasn't surprised at all, and possibly not disgusted. His expression, wide-eyes, etc, freezes for awhile just after this. 'Real' reactions are more transitory: his eyebrows wouldn't be up for so long. He's trying to act surprised and disgusted - he really isn't. Later in the video, when he's being asked how he feels about 'beastiality' and furry sex, he slows down and touches his face a lot. The impression I got there was that Chris didn't, in fact, have as strong a feeling towards the matter as he claimed, because a) it made him uncomfortable (the face touching) and people don't get that unsure of themselves when stating something they firmly believe and always have, and b) he had to pause to think about it. Even if we're not playing shrinks, that's saying something that he had to stop and think before saying, Beastiality is wrong. I know little about this, so everyone's guess is as good as mine. What sort of non-verbal cues is Chris sending?"
**"personally i think chris doesn't actually understand human emotion. note how he reacted to sarah may wanting to kill herself, his apology to logan and his reaction to pandahalo's death. also note the slowness to display any emotion, he seems to feel the emotion internally and then take a second to figure out how to portray this through his face." --Cogsdev
**"As for his face... well, it's pure and simple, it can't express emotion because 1.- it's autistic and 2.- all it can actually feel is lust and rage. IIRC, it consciously knows you have to express emotion to avoid coming across as a creepy murderer, which means it must resort to faking emotion." --Da_Nuke
===His mental age===
*"how old is he, mentally? It's been concerning me for a while." --Kapake
**"He´s a seven year old who is into sex and perversions and such." --EternityofNothing
***"That might explain the narcissism. I've seen narcissism characterized as being very close to the world view of a typical seven year old (yes, that age) so it might just be that Chris is just mentally seven than genuinely narcissistic." --Champthom
**"I concur. Seven. It's that age where kids generally get what they want because they aren't socialized to other people yet. They get angry if they don't get what they want." --Fuckinstupud
**"7 emotionally, between 13 and 15 sexually, maybe around 15 for logical skills (being generous). I think he's probably going to be stuck in those ages for a long time, until his body ramps down testosterone production. Then he'll just be a creepy 60 year old (if he lives that long) into Transformers and Little Pony figurines." --El Misto
**"I've always thought Chris-chan was more like a 5 year old, considering he still lacks so much in motor and perceptional skills. Though on the other hand, his language skills are more like the ones of indeed a 7-year-old: he can form complete sentences, his grammar is mostly correct, yet his spelling sometimes sucks (Merried Seinor Comic, Noiophobia, Lucricities and Lucrativeness instead of Ludicrousnesses)." --Da_Nuke
**"What the fuck happened when he was 7 that made him get stuck there?" --Kapake
***"I think there are a million different factors influencing the way Chris is, but I'm starting to suspect that something REALLY horrible happened to him when he was a kid, something so horrible that it shattered him and destroyed his psyche. He has blocked it out of his memory, and was severely traumatized to the point where he could not move past being a kid at all." --Bloopy/Sauerkraut
***"When best trying to understand Chris I apply two paradigms. I compare him to one of two individuals I have known and apply their lines of thinking. The first is a six year old boy I once knew when I helped out with a kids' program after school when I was in jr. high. The kid was utterly simplistic in his mindset and obviously like a lot of little kids wasn't much for logic. I couldn't blame him, he was six after all. When explaining to him that it was wrong for him to knock down another little kid and take away his football, the kid would simply respond with "but I wanted it." There was zero ability to recognize feelings outside of himself... which is even abnormal for a six year old. The second was a little twelve year old kid I knew when I worked as a teachers' aide while I was in college. The kid was an utter dork and completely socially awkward at an age where suddenly it is now time to be cool and to learn how to deal with the opposite sex. He would cry in class when he didn't get his way and rage like Chris. Whenever anything went wrong it was everyone else's fault, not his. He would change the subject when confronted with what he did, he would blame me and talk back, and generally be an utter ass to the people around him. He had no grasp of social cues whatsoever. The worst part is that he did it all in an incredibly annoying and nasal stereotypical Jewish accent, not much different from Kyle's Jewish cousin who comes and visits on South Park. . . . There are two characters I see. One is an utter child completely absorbed in his own world (the six year old), the other is a bit older and now completely feeling like the world is out to get him and with no sense of social status or values (the twelve year old). CWC generally operates between one of these two paradigms. In general we see more of the 12 year old, though, as of late, the more the trolls get active." --Gusvansant
***"he's actually pretty amoral. He basically does whatever makes him feel good at the time, without considering the consequences or others. However, he will pretend to be a "goodie goodie" if he thinks people are going to think less of him for doing something wrong. He really doesn't have any values either. He paints himself as a good christian, but he really only uses his religion as a way to excuse his bigoted beliefs and act superior towards others. If Chris wants to do something the Bible says is wrong, he'll just pretend it's not there and do it anyway. Chris is a hedonist who never considers right or wrong, and just uses his "morals" and "values" to protect his image and excuse his behavior. He's the worst kind of hypocrite." --VTEC_Engine
===Chris's dream job===
*"One time he emailed Nintendo about the possibility of becoming a video game tester, although he didn't include a resume, CV, and managed to sound somewhat normal. And he wanted to not have to leave the house to go to work. I'm not sure if Chris sent this email because it's a child's idea of what a job should be or whether he viewed it as some kind of scam to get free Nintendo games." --Anaconda
**"I'd go with the former. Seriously, video game tester is like one of those jobs you totally want as a kid. I mean, you'd be getting paid to play the vidya. Except the thing is, from what I understand, video game testing is along the lines that you spend hours walking into a wall over and over, from different angles, to make sure stuff works and really testing minute stuff so that the game doesn't crash and so programmers can iron out glitches. Allegedly, Chris has posted his resume (CV for eurofags) somewhere and it was along the lines of listing the fact he created Sonichu and his HTML classes for his resume, including his interests of drawing, video games, etc. I've never seen any evidence he's done this though. Of course, by all means, someone prove me wrong on this. Also, apparently Chris did indeed wear the medallion when he worked at Wendy's." --Champthom
**"Oh, it's the former without a doubt. Chris' ideal job, 'Hey, I'm a big immature fuck, I can sit at home and play video games all day long without leaving my house and getting paid for it! And I'll also be the first person EVAR TO PLAY THE NEW POKEYMAWN GAMES!!!!!'" --Kapake
***"And even if a video game company was willing to pay him to test games at home on his own terms, his reports after playing would no doubt not consist of glitches found, but instead of things like 'it was fun' or 'The female characters need more sexy revealing costumes'." --SteveSteve
***"With the whole game testing thing and if he was required to write reviews. Chris is a fucking fat lazy piece of shit. Even if he was hired to write reviews on games, he would put that off. He'd get e-mails and calls from the company asking where their review is and Chris would just SIIIGH and pull 'BUT I'M SO STRESSSSSED!' He would want to play the games but write the reviews on his terms. Because the world revolves around him." --LoveYouLongTime

===Confirmation of emotional incest===
*"This is something I just learned from Ivy, and this corresponds with what a field agent has confirmed about Chris has seen with Chris getting 'touchy' around Snorlax when Bob isn't looking. It's - Chris likes to sleep with his mother. According to Ivy, what Snorlax will do is come into Chris's room, the two will watch movies and lay down on the bed as Chris holds her, then they both fall asleep. In his bed.They use to do it downstairs on the couch but Bob started bitching about it, telling Chris to grow up and such. Yes, this is very shocking and hard to believe. But considering the prevailing opinion is that Chris wants a mommy he can fuck, this adds a new level to this analysis. [. . .] I mean, Snorlax and Bob don't even sleep in the same room anymore, they've been married for some time and there's usually a point where a marriage becomes more of a friendship, and both Chris and Barb are both human in that they need some intimate contact and affection. But the thing is, while this is normal of small children to want to cuddle with their mothers, it's not fucking normal for 27 year olds to do this. And I think there's actually a period in childhood development (normal one, anyway) where a child learns that they can't have mommy all to themselves but they have to share her with daddy. Looks like Chris never really reached that realization. Freud would have a fucking field day with Chris. Seriously though, I imagine one day we will get Chris confirming this, as he makes a video saying 'Yes, I do sleep with my mother, but what child does not sleep their mothers at some point in their lives?'" --Champthom
**"Honestly, I didn't want further proof for my emotional incest theory. It's worse than I thought." --Trista
**"My genitals just retreated so far into my abdomen I think they hit my diaphragm." --me

===Info from Emily===
"Chris said he heard of the deaths of Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.

"Chris said he liked a few of Michael Jackson's songs, "Beat It" being his favorite. Which is not surprising because it can be found on Rock Band or Guitar Hero. But he didn't agree with his life choices, including him becoming a white man. He also had the audacity to say that he was too immature and childish for his age. Chris, of all people to say this.

"When mentioned that Billy Mays was the mayor of CWCville he said he was blackmailed into saying it during the Julie fiasco. He was asked about the election, which he claimed that it was just rumors and made up by the trolls. He thought it was silly and stupid that when it was brought up that people think he was behind the death of Billy Mays.

"Chris talked about an uncle who breeds Rat Terriers(google image them if you don't know what they look like). Apparently the uncle is selling them for $125 each. Now, knowing how white trash southern Virginian's work he most likely found two mutts on the side of the road who resembled Rat Terriers and decided to breed them because it's a quick buck. Chris is getting one of the pups. I'm not sure if he's paying for it, but he said he was going to pick a FEMALE from the litter. And name her Independence. Anyone who knows anything about terriers know they can be neurotic as hell, especially if they're bored and not exercised. We all know that Chris' family is financially stable to take care of a puppy /sarcasm. What's most likely going to happen is that they're going to do piss for training and the dog is going to shit, piss, and chew on everything. So they're going to throw the puppy into the backyard. Then the dog is going to dig a hole underneath Patti's doghouse where her remains are, pull them out and Chris is going to discover his puppy chewing on Patti's skull. Bricks being shat will be had."

"I asked Chris what he thought of sex before marriage and his response was, 'I WANT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.' Which opened the door to, 'I thought there was somewhere in the Bible where you can't have sex before marriage.' He then said that the Bible was advice on how people should live their lives and that he has a choice if he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex or not. Oh boy....I then went, 'Chris you said that homosexuality was bad because the Bible said so at this point homosexuality is a choice and it's just advice...?' He got quiet for seven seconds before going, 'Hmm....uuuh...You blew my mind.' Then got all quiet and didn't really want to talk. So the subject had to be changed. . . . Chris also said he had a romantic dream where he made out with a woman named something along the lines of '[[Julie|Julich]].' He said he couldn't tell if she was European or Asian. :facepalm: ...But he thinks she looked more European. . . . He also only has $5 in his savings account. He told Clyde a while ago he had $10."

Me : Is CWCville a real place[obvious answer is obvious]?
Chris : I'd like it to be a real place.
Me : lololololol
Chris : It's another C'Ville[who the fuck wants another Charlottesville?].
Me : Yeeeeeah. I don't know, the website made it seem like an actual place. Soooo if this place was real
what kind of government would it have?
Chris : Mmm...I don't know much about government but I would say like you know any government any city would have.
Me : Well there's different kinds of government. I mean are you talking about a kind of government
that you would find in America or in China or in Germany?
Chris : I would say more of an American government.
Me : Oh so-
Chris : Since it's within America.
Me : Okay. So it'd be like a democracy?
Chris : Hm. Well I'm more of a Moderate. But yeah I guess a democracy. Yeah.
Me : Oh...[FFFFFFF]
Chris : Well yeah I'm not sure that's right I'm trying to remember yeah the Republicans are the bad guys.
Yeah democracy is good.
Me : Oh well-
Chris : It would be a democracy.
Me : -fumbling for words- Democracy means there are like elections and people vote for who they want to be in
office.
Chris : Hm. Yeeeeah. But. Because I founded the town uh we do not need to hold elections.
Me : Oh well. That's not a democracy. That's a dictatorship.
Chris : That's kind of dumb. It just sounds crappy when you use that word.
Me : Well that's what it's called lolololol. I'm just saying.
Chris : Hm.
Me : But ANYWAYS[change subject before stress sigh ensues].
Chris : I'd have to think more about that I guess.

"Whenever anything political comes up he just starts stuttering, stress sighing, and going 'Mm..' and in this case, it'll be followed by "'well er uh I don't know um well I heard some bad news about um them but I guess I'm neutral.'"

"Chris said if age wasn't a legal issue, he would date a girl as young as 16. Possibly [[Zapina|14]] . . ."

". . . if she had a lower income then it would make things harder for him."

"I think it may have been mentioned before that Chris steals money from his parents and they just don't give a shit. They haven't disciplined him for 27 years, so why start now?

"Well, it has come to our attention that back when the Rock Band(or possibly Guitar Hero, but who cares) AC/DC game came out Chris bought it, used the code in the case to get all the songs, then returned the game to get his money back. When confronted that's considered stealing, his excuse was basically that they shouldn't have the code if they didn't want people to do that. This all being followed by his stress sigh.

"So basically, if you have to register that code then whoever happened to buy the game after Chris couldn't use the code. That stupid son of a bitch. I wonder how many other games Chris has done this with. He probably thinks he's clever for it."

"Surprisingly enough, Chris is very deceptive. Or at least, he tries to be. He hides and steals things like he's a little kid and since he's retarded nobody has bothered to punish him for it. Thus, he continues to do it, because he thinks he's clever. Unfortunately to keep Chris' trust and get him to tell me more things, despite them making me rage, I just keep my mouth shut and let Chris, once again, get away with his bullshit."

"So the other day Chris was saying the highlight of his day was running over a snake. Now mind you, he ACTIVELY tried running the snake over. He missed the first time. He missed the second time. Hell, he miss the third time. He finally locked 'old blue' on that snake and hit his target in triumph. When questioned what kind of snake it was he responded that he didn't know but it was poisonous. Now, where Chris was at at the time, there are no poisonous snakes in that area. So in reality it was most likely a black snake or a garter snake.

"He was PROUD of running over that snake."

"In middle school kids would make fun of Chris for liking Sonic and yell at Chris, 'SONIC IS DEAD!' Of course, Chris being Chris, would get upset and yell back, 'NO HE'S NOT!' Lulz would ensue.

"In high school, kids would throw their loose change on the ground and when Chris went to pick it up they would point and laugh saying, 'He's so poor he's picking up our loose change!' Except I imagine them dropping their change right in front of Chris

"BONUS : Despite not liking the homos, he thinks people who use 'gay' in replacement of 'stupid' or 'retarded' is stupid. When asked what he thought of people who use 'nigger' he thought about it for a few seconds then said it was not as 'bothersome.'"
*"He probably harbors a special resentment for that usage of "gay," because it was labeled against him as a child. The term "Nigger" is likely not as bothersome to Chris because he was never called that name, in school. Chris has precious little empathy for the problems of others. Unless its something that directly impacts his little life, he cannot be bothered to care. Although, I admit this also gives more evidence of his racism." --Enerjakop

"I do think Chris has an Oedipus Complex. Some of you may remember me speaking of seeing Chris and his parents at McDonalds last year around October/November. He sat next to his mother and when Bob went to go get a refill on his coffee, Chris started coddling up to his mother. He had his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his head on her shoulder. What I could make out from them muttering his the Snorlax saying something about how Chris shouldn't keep secrets from her. At 26(at the time) years old, that's not normal behavior for someone to act towards a parent. It could be because of his autism for his attachment to his mother(I'm not psychologist, so I'm not sure of the ins and outs of autism).

"Which brings me to a second thing I noticed. Just like Chris waited for Bob to leave to coddle up to his mother, Chris also waited for Bob to leave during our date to start touching me more. When Bob went to go get food, Chris started putting his hand on my shoulder more. When Bob came back, he kept his hands to himself more. When Chris and I started walking around, Chris kept attempting to walk closer to me and started to say more perverted things. It seems like Chris is intimidated by Bob and ashamed of acting out in a certain way in front of his father as opposed to his mother. This also just proves that Chris does know from right to wrong. Chris knew he should keep his hands to himself in front of Bob."

===Enerjakop's tl;dr post about megalomania===

Last night, Trapper posed a question about why Tails has never been recolored into the world of Cwcville. (The thread can be found under the “Characters” page, and is entitled “The missing character”)

Well, that got me thinking about something new:

Chris’ Megalomania.

meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a
n.
1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

Let’s talk about Chris’ Legos. They have been with him since day one. In fact, they were the primary component of the very first image of Chris-Chan that I ever saw.

[http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3717/scarychrisin4.jpg]

Look at them all! Why does he keep them all out? Why does he still play with them? What do they tell us about the man?
To answer that, we will have to look a Chris’ childhood. As we all know, Master Chandler was an incredibly isolated youth. Unable to make friends at school, and living in a household with parents who were stuck thirty years in the past, Chris really never had anyone to guide him in understanding the modern social climate. Few would deny that he was dealt a bad hand. However, I would argue that he didn’t have to play it the way he did.

I think that Chris came to resent his classmates. I believe that he was originally just too shy and nervous to approach the other kids in his class, but eventually he decided he preferred being alone. He did not relate with the other kids in his class, and chances are he had no desire to pursue any interests which were different from his. If he was at all like his modern day persona, he would have frequently misinterpreted, and grown defensive over what other kids said to him. As a result, he would have made himself an outsider, and thus became a subject of ridicule. He would have perceived his treatment as an unwarranted attack against him for being different.

Chris then withdrew from the majority of humanity. He came to see himself as morally and mentally superior to his classmates, because of the habits he followed. While others smoked, cursed, and were rude, Chris saw himself as a kind of Saint lost in a wicked world that scorned his purity and genius. He probably convinced himself that all men are jerks when he was still in elementary school. Chances are that he got bullied quite a bit, primarily by other guys. Similarly he started to see women as pure, because most of the kids who showed him pity were probably well meaning girls, who would defend him.

I know that all this is all speculation, but bear with me. I have to set the stage.

So here we have a young Chris, ostracized and pitied by his peers, and unwilling to leave his comfort zone. What does he do, when he cannot figure out how to get by in the outside world? The answer is simple.

He makes his own world, inside. A world that understands both he…
and his desires.

[http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/4559/272ho3.jpg]

He makes Cwcville.

It is a town filled with citizens and heroes.

It is a land replete with adventure and intrigue.

It is a world, where the rule of Christian Weston Chandler is absolute.

[http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/9241/267rl1.jpg]

And to get there, Chris need only retreat to his bedroom.

Cwcville is the most well thought out element of Chris’ Universe, complete with industry, history, and legends. Why is it so fleshed out, when most of Chris' work is painfully two dimensional? My guess is that it is because Chris has been living in Cwcville for a VERY long time. Longer even, than he has known Sonichu. Cwcville predates the birth of Bionic, and the start of his Sweetheart search. It is the true heart of Chris’ delusions.

We have long-thought that Sonichu was Chris' most cherished safety blanket, but I am no longer so certain. Chris does not really value other sentient beings. As I wrote to Trapper:

...his closest companion a pixilated hedgehog. He liked leading his digital minion through all manner of dungeons, but often wished that he had "a player two" to play with. Note the term I use: play. Not "work" with. Not "interact" with. No, he wanted to PLAY with them.

I'm pretty sure that Chris likes acting as a god figure. He likes building his ideal world out of Legos, and giving his creations life as citizens of Cwcville. In his comics, even the bravest heroes fear losing the guidance of their benevolent ruler. Being someone who is followed and adored appeals to him, and his lack of Socialization has lead him to think he deserves such treatment. As Chris grew up, he became convinced that he only needed a single minion to make all of his desires a reality. Thus he relates with his hero (Sonic/Sonichu) seeking and obtaining a romantic partner, who is very complacent (Amy/Rosechu)Seriously, if Amy is Chris' ideal woman, it explains a lot. Amy makes June Cleaver look empowered. She lives only to please her man, and routinely needs him to save her.

Chris never really wanted to have a person sharing in his glory or helping him with his creative work, so the role of Tails (a comrade) never appealed to him. While Sonic would obey his commands, Tails would act on his own, following his primitive AI system. During game play, Tails would sometimes help Chris, and sometimes hinder him (sort of like a real friend) but he could never be controlled by Chris. (Yes, I know that you could select him as a playable character. However he could not be controlled at the same time as Sonic. YES, I KNOW HE COULD, IF THE PLAYER MASTERED PLAYING BOTH CONTROLLERS SIMULTANEOUSLY, BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!) I don't think Chris liked having this "wild card" around.

Chris likes to be surrounded by slaves, who obey his commands. He has always wanted a woman he can manipulate into caring for him, but I have yet to hear him once request a simple platonic friendship with anyone. He likes to have adversaries, to overcome (Knuckles/Punchy, Robotnik/Robotnik) these make him feel important and capable. But a colleague? A pal? That's something that is just too alien a concept, for Chris.

Chris does not like it when people say "No!" to him. He has spent the majority of his life giving orders to Legos, drawings, and Video Game Characters who do not talk back. And, I suspect he wishes the rest of the world would follow suit. Chris is an armchair dictator, who fancies himself above all other people, because in his world he IS the superior being. He descends upon Cwcville through a magic gateway, and graces the realm with his presence. Like a God, he saves them when he is called upon. And like the Creator he is, Chris watches and comments about even the most intimate aspects of his subject's lives. Chris needs to be in total control of his world.

Now, Let us look at him through a Christian lens. Chris views his God as a being who conveniently supports all of Chris' wishes, and even answers his demands. According to the dogma of Chris-Chan

God:
*Hates gay men. (We have yet to hear Chris once complain about Lesbians, so they can presumed to be good in his god's eyes.)
*Hates drugs, alcohol, swearing, and most men.
*Occasionally is willing to act as Chris' personal hit man.
*Believes that premarital sex is fine, as long as the man wears a condom and claims to love the girl, at the time.
*Really really want Chris to have an obedient wife and daughter. So much so, that he sent an Angel to speak with Chris on the matter.
*Believes Chris is a good person.

Obviously, Chris' view of God's law is identical to the rules he upholds in Cwcville. I am not saying that Chris thinks he is God, but he does think that God’s will is in total accordance with HIS, which is egotistic to say the least.

Seeing a pattern here? Chris views everything with a preexisting mindset that he should have total control over all of us. That's why he acts so magnanimous, when he grants the Sonichu girls permission to make him nude drawings of his characters. That's why his videos are filled with demands and threats directed at both his enemies AND fans. (No more comics, unless you do X, Y,and Z.) He actually thinks he can command humanity as his personal e-army. Never does he think that we are free agents. We are either his faithful fans, who wait on his every beck and call, or wicked Trolls who seek to subvert his authority. It must be easy to become this delusional when you never leave the imaginary land in your room, and only occasionally send out messages to faceless void of the internet.

Have you ever wondered how he bounces back so quickly from even our most vicious attacks? No matter how bad things get for Chris in the real world, he can always just go to his room and see that everything is still fine in Cwcville. And to Chris that's all that really matters.

Chris needs his legos. Whenever reality jilts him, he can rectify the "error" in Lego world

Remember, when he couldn't afford a PS3?

[http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/5364/285hn6.jpg]

He made one that he could play in his world.

There are already a ton of articles about how Chris applies this same principle to his person. For every flaw he recognizes in himself, he compensates by fixing it in his imagined Cwcville persona.

For every person who meets him in the real world, he gains a new ally or villain in Cwcville. Even we have been dealt with. 4cent_Garbage.com was Chris' way of handling the stress we've put him through. He drug us into his world, and used his home town advantage to finally score a decisive victory against us. It doesn't matter that it is all a fantasy, in Chris' mind he had soundly defeated Jason Howell and sent all the trolls running.

This is why Chris scares me a little. I don’t know that he can fully distinguish his fantasy world from reality. He has used his self-soothing realm of Cwcville for so long, and wished to be in it for such a great time, that I fear his perceptions have blurred a bit. I don’t mean that he thinks Sonichu is real, but he suffers from a megalomania cal delusion that he should reign over us, like he does with his Lego land.

Final Thoughts:

Chris’ goal is not to find a woman to end his loneliness (he says that to gain our sympathy), he wants to find one human being he can manipulate into caring for him. He seeks a human “tugboat” to enable his to continuing existence in Cwcville. I don’t even know if sex is something he really wants from her. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of drive to actually make himself more appealing. I think he wants a “pretty sweetheart” because it is a pleasure he is denied. He has seen too many lesser men get married and have families, and it infuriates Chris that he cannot. As a petty dictator, he feels nothing should be denied him.
I remember him once saying that he took his Mom to the Prom because he did not understand the purpose for dating relationships. Only after he learned about marriage, sex, and the “ownership” one can have over their wife and child, did Chris become a “Virgin with Rage.” People are just another commodity in his eyes, and he is jealous that some people have more than he does.
His virginity is another factor that annoys him, because most are able to lose it. He is outraged that no one would want to take his, the most blessed of virgins, innocence. But again, this shows us his ego. Chris refuses to just have sex with anyone, no he needs a beautiful, submissive, and above all else, enviable dream woman. He needs this, because in his mind he is and always will be better and more deserving than the rest of us.

Entitlement is the key driving force within Chris’ mind. If he thinks he should have it, he will whine and cry until he gets it. That’s how it always worked with mommy and daddy, and that’s how Chris thinks it will work with the rest of the world. Entitlement is what allowed him to jeep touching Crystal, after she told him to stop. It is what makes him think its alright to rig contests in his favor. Entitlement is what makes him furious that he cannot make us stop.
After all he does not deserve our hassle.

Remember when the medallion was destroyed, and Chris completely fell apart for a few days? I don’t think he was crushed because the trolls destroyed Sonichu. I postulate that he was traumatized because we had entered Cwcville and stolen something. We had pilfered a holy relic from his mayoral office. We made him feel unsafe, because we violated his sanctuary. We fooled him, while he was in a lace where he is supposed to be indeceivable. The medallion was Mayor Chandler's royal seal, a symbol of his power. Seizing it, made him realize that despite all of his precautions, his Secret refuge could be desecrated. But most importantly, people who were unworthy had touched a part of his Cwcville, a place he thought indestructible.

When we took the medallion we reminded him that he was mortal, and he could not cope with that thought, so he forced it out of his head and made a new fake symbol of potency.

Chris is very fragile.

If one truly wants to destroy Chris, they would only need to take away his tiny plastic kingdom.

For without Cwcville,

Chris-Chan has nothing.

And he knows it.

==From /cwc/==

===Random Access Humor===

'''Psychoanalysis, LOL. Warning: tl;dr. Indulge me. Anonymous !3GcExxsTgU 2009-08-30 15:31 No.21539'''

CWC's habit of quoting movies and shit. I get how he thinks it's funny. God knows he's not the only one since there's an entire generation of people coming to age watching Family Guy, which derives half of its jokes from delivering lines verbatim from movies. I get this.

However this is a very reductive way of looking at CWC's "random-access humor," because he also does this while pleading with/trying to reason with people. This happened recently when he accused the Real Chris of "breaking [his] balls," which is obviously a reference to Team America: World Police. If he thinks this is what humor is, why use it in a moment where he's being serious?

I can think of two possibilities.

The first is that CWC has been lacking his entire life in models for social interaction, and therefore he's forced to take his cues for social interaction from mass media. Hence, while trying to negotiate with someone, he assumes the role Kim Jong-Il held in Team America and says, "You're breaking my balls." The fact that this was a scripted exchange appropriate only in a comedy film (and that people in the real world don't do this) is irrelevant to CWC; it's the only model (or one of the only models, at least) available to him, so he used it. Autism, woo. Isn't one of the characteristics of autism a lack of understanding of habits and mannerisms of actual people? Couldn't a part of that be that he would project his own understanding of human behavior - however flawed it might be?

The second possibility is this: it might be that CWC is, in using humor during a desperate moment, attempting to make the people antagonizing him laugh. I'd say this is what he's doing because I made a habit of doing something similar in order to defuse the people bullying me, when I was a kid. By making them laugh, you would at least be getting them to recognize that you have something to contribute, even if it's just being a target. This seems feasible, especially when one considers that, in response to Clyde Cash demanding to know whether he'd shit himself again during an exchange, CWC answered "...maybe!" This is a pretty common joke in cartoons and shows aimed at older children - the joke being that a person who has obviously done something is still trying to deny it, and they're doing it badly. By striking this terrible bargain (the one in which CWC remains the target of cruel humor but at least gets to define on his own some aspect of his situation and relation to these people) he hopes to lessen the damage done by it.

This second possibility makes me feel shitty - again - about watching this whole train wreck (this is only the third or fourth time I've ever de-lurked). I better fix that quick.

Blah blah armchair psychology. Have at it.

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'''Plainview !/xr3iaY2XE 2009-08-30 16:36 No.21551'''

I tend to buy more into the former, that he has either not had proper social models to learn from, or does not have the mental capacity to pick up on proper social cues.

Deflating "slanderous trolls" via self-deprecating humor requires a bit of forethought and awareness of human nature, and C Dub has proven time and time again that he has positively none of either.

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'''Hadoulen !Gvwlt8cPLg 2009-08-30 17:17 No.21559'''

I'd have to agree with the first part

Chris has a hard time recognizing tone changes because of his Autism, ex: The Emily saga.Therefore, he has no instincts on when to use humor. Whatever works on the TV or big screen must always work in real life because it appears to be such an easy fix

Which leads me to kind of a sidetrack rant to another issue, Chris is always looking for and believes there easy textbook fixes to every conceivable situation be it with trolls, or forces outside the internet. hence why he thinks his Dating Education is a feasible concept.

As long as he thinks people are like robots with programmed reactions he's gonna always think movies are grounded based on actual human behavior rather than exaggeration and satire

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'''Anonymous !FWpnhq9jmk 2009-08-30 18:42 No.21570'''

>>21559

>>Chris is always looking for and believes there easy textbook fixes

That's actually pretty common with autism, abstract concepts are usually really difficult for them and social interaction is pretty abstract. It's part of why he's so easy to troll, any normal person would be like "Hey, there's a bunch of trolls trying to get info about me! Maybe I should be suspicious of this random girl who suddenly wants me." but to him, those are two separate things that aren't linked together in any way. His narcissism helps though, of course.

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'''Anonymous !22CEdKcCs. 2009-08-30 19:14 No.21574'''

It's not so much that he was lacking proper social role models as that his brain is broken in a way that makes it impossible for him to understand what appropriate behavior is and internalize it the way the rest of us did; his autism.

People with autism can practice hard and at least fake normal societal behaviors, even if they don't understand the purpose behind them the way a normal person does.

Unfortunately, Chris's genetic lack of intelligence, his neglectful parents, and a few traumatic experiences growing up sort of came together in a perfect storm to produce the monster we all know and love. He never got the help he needed, and now he's too stupid to realize that he's doing things wrong and too fat, lazy, and awkward to seek help even if he did.

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'''Anonymous !AtmYi8xz2c 2009-09-01 16:04 No.21794'''

CWC thinks people are all the same. Use a shit metaphor? If you insist...

Whereas you and I see women, CWC sees a safe. (Stay with me!) Inside that safe, is sweet, sweet, china. All he has to do is figure out the right combination of actions, and it's his. Thats why he wants 'Dating Education', so someone can tell him this magical vaginal passcode.

===Morals===

'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 21:59 No.5206'''

First I want to say that this is not an "OMG U SHULD DO THIS TO CHRIS LOLOL" post, although it may sound it. This may also sound like epic moralfaggotry, but I promise this is with the intention of lulz.

Seriously though. Like pretty much every bad thing possible has been done to Chris, short of tricking him into an-heroing himself.

Why has no troll tried something like, "I'll stop loving you unless you learn to play a real guitar," or "... clean your whole house," type things? Like having him do something that would be REALLY unexpected of him.

Maybe if the carrot of nonexistent poontang is dangled in front of him, he can actually do some amazing things aside from talking to/kissing/fucking a blowup doll on a webcam. And hey if he fails spectacularly, it'd probably good for a laugh.
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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:49 No.5217'''

Every troll has tried to this.

Chris was ready to fuck a dog for Panda but he wouldn't save up money to go visit her.

Chris was willing to make sex tapes where he screams "JULLLAAAAAAAAAAAY" like a retard in heat for Julie yet he wouldn't go get a job like she asked him too.

Chris doesn't want to improve himself. He's more than willing to do fucked up shit for his sweethearts like shove things up his ass or do shitty songs of covers but if it's something serious like "Get a job" or "Clean your house" he doesn't give a shit, even if china is involved.

IF this idea was to work, you'd actually have to get a girl who was really willing to go meet up with Chris and follow through, in addition to showing her tits and china to him and even in this case, I highly doubt he'd do it because then he'd feel like he was in a position of power. One of the reasons he needs a sweetheart is because he needs a mommy he can fuck, someone who will get a job and support him financially, keep the house clean, etc.
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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 23:53 No.5226'''

>>5217

You're exactly right, and this is because Chris was raised to believe his autism was his excuse for everything, and an uncivilized leech like him is in love with the fact he doesn't have to abide by things like rules, social norms, or just growing up past 12-years-old. It's his parents' fault, how is he going to be expected to be hygienic or clean up his own filth when his parents are festering in that garbage dump they call a home? How can he be expected to get a job and support himself when his parents are more than happy to let him do nothing? This situation is disgusting and his parents are lowlife rednecks who obviously don't give a shit about him or his future.

At the risk of sounding like an apologist, I'm not, and I consider Chris to be a less-than-human plaything of the internet. I really don't consider him a real person, to be honest. Chris isn't delusional and he's not far from 30-years-old either; he knows exactly what the situation is but he doesn't want to change it for the world because who wouldn't want to live like a child with mommy and daddy playing videogames forever without responsibility or obligations? The only twist is he's also a maniacal pervert raised by a bigoted, sexist dad from the last century who probably expects a woman to fuck him, love him, and coddle him like his mom. It's not like Chris has considered getting a job to support his "future daughter" or wife. He wants another mommy and he has no real value of women in the first place.

This is why Chris will fuck dogs and burn his house down if it means his troll girlfriends will promise that they'll suck his dick, coddle him, and adopt to his grotesquely contorted lifestyle of do-nothingness. Then again if they pushed Chris to get a job, stop playing videogames, or sell his stupid shit all you hear is the childish whine of "NO!" a la the climactic Julie audio and it won't happen. Chris loves his lifestyle and he justifies it with autism which is bullshit because plenty of autistic retards (even worse than Chris) can mainstream by getting a job or doing what's expected of them in society - probably because their parents wouldn't want to put up with their shit forever. I know my parents wouldn't.

So with that said, there's no moral sympathy owed to Chris at all. White knight bullshit comes from people who have zero clue what they're talking about, and I dare any of these faggots to befriend Chris (especially if you're female) IRL and count the hours until you realize his shit doesn't come from being mentally defected with autism and you hate his guts. If you're female, then count the seconds until this gross fetal accident tries to touch you or convince you to swallow his cum.

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-05 01:50 No.5238'''

>>5226

This.

Also, I think the main crux comes from the fact that he has his feet in both worlds. Like you said, he is only willing to go so far out of his childhood to get what he wants.

This is where most of the lulz come from. He loves sitting around playing video games, making cool stories about his imaginary characters and generally acting like a child. All this stuff was fun when we were kids. We all did it. I used to veg out on video games and play pretend with my friends.

Then of course, adulthood hits. Then we all realize that there is stuff that is way better. Like losing our virginity. So we put down the controllers, get some jobs and move on to new stuff. There is hardship, but we reap major benefits from working hard, then having a nice house and someone to fuck at the end of the day. Add on some new thrills and so on...

But instead of putting all this shit aside to have a new adventure, Chris wants to drag it all with him, kicking and screaming. If he just stuck to his childish things, we would never even know he existed. But because he wants adult things while never giving up anything from his childhood... EVERYONE NOTICES. Because you just can't do it.

It's kind of like getting a choice of dessert. You can have bubblegum flavored ice cream or fudge ripple. When you are young, bubblegum is great but as you get older you get new tastes and forgo one for the other.

Chris wants both servings of ice cream. At the same time. And he didn't finish his vegetables.

And that's what he thinks everything in life is like, asking for ice cream. Whine enough and you get it. Because this worked when he was a kid. Now he thinks it will work when he is older, but he doesn't whine only for kid things, now he whines for adult things.

If he ever did land a woman, she would tell him to throw away the bubblegum flavor and start eating fudge ripple. And that would not fly with him AT ALL.

It really makes me think, how interesting a social experiment it would be to see him try and live the married life. Just exactly what he would do once the honeymoon period was over and there's no china without a week of hard work, paying the bills and keeping the house in shape.

WE WILL NEVER KNOW THANK GOD

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 22:47 No.5215'''

People with Autism (or at least, really low-functioning people like Chris) tend to "attention whore" themselves about certain little things that makes them (feel) "more special". I'm sure if Chris found out he had a rare blood type or a double-jointed finger, he'd be all over it and inappropriately bring it up at every chance he got. He does the same thing with being 1/16th Native American, "related" to Anne Boleyn, and etc. It's all to fuel his autistic narcissism.

No, Chris definitely does not have heterochromia, and his right eye is actually one shade off due to pinkeye (Only noticeable when viewed very closely). However, Chris still puts allot of emphasis on it and thinks it's a positive thing to "brag" about, especially when talking to girls (Like I really need to say how telling a girl your eye color is different due to PINKEYE, is information you shouldn't share)

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 20:06 No.5189'''

[...]

The thing is, you start to get over the whole "oh he has a disability, they should leave him alone" thing when you realize that beneath the Autism, he's still a sexist bigoted pervert of a man. His stupid parents, who live in complete filth, have obviously never cared enough to seek appropriate support for him and his disability and let him leech of tax payer dollars and live in a complete fantasy world at the age of 27.

Chris' life is just one of those really "out there" oddities that is entertaining as hell to observe.

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'''Anonymous 2009-05-03 23:56 No.5030'''

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually becoming bored of the whole Chris Chan trolling thing. Not even like troll's remorse. It's just that every troll is the goddamn same. Pick up the strings, make Chris do a little dance, repeat until bored, pass the strings to someone else, repeat from step 2.

It doesn't even take skill to troll him. He'll believe anything you say, guaranteed. This has been proven repeatedly, and it doesn't mean anything to prove it anymore. Something needs to happen again. An in-person meeting or something. Shit, it doesn't even need to be in person. But Chris has taken this to the point where an epic breakup is in order. Tell him you'll meet him at the airport and never show up. Better yet, tell him you'll meet him at the nearby mall and never show up, but have someone with a video camera scouting the area. (Doing the video camera thing at the airport would probably get you v&)

Do something. Just cut the line and let the remaining lulz drain out before this starts getting pathetic again like it did with JULAY.

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'''falsion 2009-05-04 13:00 No.5143'''

The thing is, what you've suggested has already been done.

Everything you can think of has been attempted or pulled off at this point.

We had him to out of state to meet JULAYY, and he drove all the way to fucking Ohio. We even had trolls meet him in real life, and troll him IRL.

But guess what? He's not phased by any of it. He may get a little upset about it, but the next day he is back to his same old dumb ass self.

The only things that piss him off are people messing with his sweetheart, being called a homo, or him feeling like he's being oppressed by an organization (Nintendo, Wikipedia, Unilever) of some kind.

I understand how you feel, and even I feel the same way. But it's not the trolls fault. But more so that Chris is a fucking retard, and you can't ask much out of someone who is a complete fucking idiot. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

----

'''Anonymous 2009-05-04 13:52 No.5147'''

The main problem is that Chris is extremely delusional and narcissistic partially due to having his ego stroked by trolls so much.

Chris doesn't get too phased by women leaving him because he knows there's a whole line of women (read: trolls who want to be his new BOYFRIEND FREE GIRL) because he thinks he is God's gift to women (I mean, HIS MOM SAYS HE'S HANDSOME, AND HIS MOM WOULDN'T LIE, WOULD SHE?). Unless you could get people to stop trolling him by pretending to be his e-girlfriend, when the threat of not having someone to move onto will be real for Chris, we're always going to need someone to do this stick.

The only thing that really pisses Chris off is when people call him a homo but because his parents restrict his time online, he can't really spend lots of time online looking at people calling him a homo are.

Telling Chris to meet you at the airport and not show up is stupid, because that's just like what happened when he drove to Cleveland but no one was there, and he was like "Ah darn, guess I drove to Cleveland for nothing."

IRL stuff does fuck him up, just not in the ways you think. Why Chris seems so crazy now is because that date he had IRL really fucked with his mind. However, not too many trolls are willing to spend time and money to travel down to Ruckersville, VA to troll Chris and getting Chris outside of his house would prove to be a challenge as his ideal first date would be inside his own house.

==Things that piss him off a lot/give him stress==
*Being called a homo
*Saying you are the original creator of Sonichu
*Saying you are the mayor of CWCville
*When a girl rejects his advances
*When jerks take all the pretty girls because heaven forbid he get stuck with a girl who is even slightly sub-par
*Clyde Cash stealing shit from him
*His father telling him to get out of the house and do something with his life
[[Category:Not TRUE and HONEST]]

Megan emails, Jan-July 2007

2010-08-14T16:33:23Z

James Lamp-Eye:

The following is a transcript of the known e-mails between Megan and Chris from January through [[July 2007]]. The only thing that has been removed are the email ads at the bottom of each page.

Megan's e-mails are in light red, Chris is in light blue.

==Chris apologizes for being a douche==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 5 Mar 2007 9:01:29 PM Eastern Standard Time 
Subject: Re: Alright

Hey, Megan. To start... the manga, the ponies and the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] CD; that works for me. Cool; Pink Panther it is then. I'm certain that you all will enjoy the jugs/washboards/kazoos and boogie-woogie that my papa shared back in 1990 on [[Wikipedia:WTJU|WTJU]].

And... I am sorry that I hurt your feelings; I didn't mean to, and I was not being contradicting. Also, I did not "dismiss" the story, I just gave it consideration, and I offered my honest and open opinion about it. I did picture your Skitty in your Metune outfit, and I can honestly say that it is a cute idea. :) I just feel that the permament (or the world-switch) transformation rubs me the wrong way... How about this, let's say your future daughter is transformed into the skitty of Team Courage, and she and her team time-travel back to aide you and me in our battles and steps towards the future (kind of a [[Wikipedia:Chibi-usa|Chibi-Usa]] situation). And this would happen after we get the seven Crystal [[Sonichu Balls]] together, get my imiginary sister out of the mirror, awaken [[Darkbind|Darkbind's]] [[Princess Zelina]] and put an end to [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] terror. You can provide the new set of villians that [[Reldnach Notsew Naitsirhc]] will recruit (after having left the hospital). Also, Houndour and Absol... let's put Hound-Howl and Apocolypse in those shoes (with the random evolution to Pending Doom and Devolution Spray that Skitty will have). And I'm not so sure about Charmander on the team... could you go with a Vaporeon, and draw him/her like Hound-Howl or Apocolypse (making a better balanced type-match for the team... Normal, Water, Fire and Dark vs. Normal, Fire X2 and Dark (they would be more weak against ground or water attacks). Does that work better for you? I support your cute and fun ideas as much as possible, and I feel a little sad from having hurt your feelings... I'd like to put a smile on my favorite friend's face. :)

Also, how do you feel of the idea of [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic]] dating behind the comic?

And I am flattered that you said that I am a good storyteller; thank you so much. :)

Still caringly fond of you; 
Chris Chan.

P.S.

Did you read the part in the latest episode where Black Sonichu tells Sonichu about Reldnahc having put whipped cream in his rocket boosters? In the original drawing, he said "[[semen|some creamy stuff]]", in reference to Reldnach being the TOTALLY opposite of me.
}}

==Chris on Soul Calibur and writes a shitty poem==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: pearl3@velocitus.net 
Sent: Mon, 7 May 2007 12:41:54 AM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Re: wheee!

Well, I just heard that the person of RareRomance will have just sent the cards, so maybe by this coming or the next Friday you will have your cards. :)

Another issue, I've just recorded a Battle Theatere from [[Soul Calibur]] 3 featuring you Vs. Yosimitsu, as well as me Vs. [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and a couple of others. I will have the [[Speech Impediment|Battle Thetere]] shows in MP4 format soon, and all you to watch them this coming Friday on my PSP. I've unlocked all the Custom Character Jobs, so everyone is at the highest role. I started your character as a Ninja, which later unlocked Assassan, which later unlocked Samurai; you are now Samurai Class. I started as a Saint (because that sounded like basically who I am), then I've got upgraded to Sage (no more beyond that). Also available were Thief >>> Pirate, Barbarian >>> Gladiator >>> Knight, Dancer, Monk, and the topper, Swordsmaster.

Each Job has a specific number of compatable weapons. Like for you, as Ninja: Kunai, Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and weapons of Taki & Setsuka. Then as Assassin: Wave Sword, Iron Sword, Chinese Sword, and weapons of Lizardman and Tira. And NOW as Samurai: Katana (only), Katana & Shuriken, Sickle (flexible), and Weapons of Mitsurugi and Yoshimitsu. :D

I, as Saint, welded: Staff (Personal Weapon of Choice), Dagger, Steel Fan, and Weapons of Zasalamel and Talim. Now as Sage I get: Chinese Blade, Sword & Shield, Staff, and Weapons of Sophita and Casandra.

The list of weapons for each job were listed from lowest level earned to highest (Lv1, Lv10, Lv20 and Lv30). And my source of information: GameInformer.com.

BTW, John was started as Barbarian, and now is Knight. Also, there was not enough room for "Schroder" in the name spaces, so for both of you, it was shortened to "Schroe"; nothing personal.

Well, enough Soul 3 talk. Let me ask you something, and John may input his opinion for this question as well, Have either of you played Gauntlet 2 or Rampart? I am asking, because the two games are avilable in the PSNetwork Store, downloable to PS3. And I wanted your feedback if either or both of you played either one.

Oh, I did download the new Super Rub-a-Dub game; it is so cute and fun. With the [[PS3|Sixaxis]], I rotate and shake a tub with the hero Rubber Duckie, and guide it to collect the trapped smaller ducks and lead them to the Drain Exit. And I have to stay away from the wind-up toy Sharks, unless I'm playing the bonus level as the shark and I would have to eat the ducks.

Well, if you find a website where the PGSM episode are downloable with the appropriate format, let me know and I'll get to work on that. Otherwise, I'm killin' time on PS3 or PSP or DS, or with family. Here's a cute rhyme-scheme I've made up recently (inspired by a Wii Comercial):

"On your (GBA) SP, 
create your Mii, 
and play it on Wii, 
with your PSP, 
hooked to the PS3, 
because it's fun see?"

Okay, I'll check in again later, and I await your next E-Mail. You all take care.

I'm thinkin' of you fondly, sweetie; 
Chris Chan. 
OXOXOX
}}

==Chris talks about Megan while she's away==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 27 Jun 2007 5:57:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Hey Megan,

I hope you are having a safe trip to [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]] at this time.

As for me, it's not bad here. I'm finishing up copying the G1 Transformers episodes to DVD-Rs. I've learned I could download games/demos from the JAPANESE Playstation Store (I had to create a Japanese account, with a made-up street address). It's cool, I've downloaded free demos of [[Wikipedia:Folklore (video game)|Folklore]], [[Wikipedia:Everybody's Golf 5|Everyone's Golf 5]] and the Playstation1 Demo of XI Sai (a dice game (it can be copied for play on PSP)). And this game I'm learning about that is internet based (similar to the upcoming Home), from the Dokidemo title (the import Cat game on PSP). I'm going to see if I can learn more on GameFaqs.com.

Also, I've learned from the US Playstation website about a NEW Gundam title coming soon for PS3 (hopefully rated better than Crossfire) titled "[[Wikipedia:Dynasty Warriors: Gundam|Dynasty Warriors: Gundam]]". Apparently its gameplay will be based on the previous Dynasty Warriors games, but the Gundams will be the main playable mechs. FYI, I've purchased the [[Wikipedia:Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire|Crossfire]] game during Gamestop's Game Days sale for practically a steal at $29.99.

I have de-weeded [[CWCville|Cwcville]], and I'm working on getting it back in shape. I look forward to our first Wi-Fi visit; please let me know the date and time YOU or I should have your/my gate open. By the way, my DS's touch screen in the middle is out of order; I won't be able to touch the "g" key, so I will have to type the letters with my control pad and A button (it may be slower).

I will await your E-Mail, or I may check in again later. You all take care.

Thinkin' of you fondly and sweetly; 
Chris Chan. <3<3<3
}}

==Chris is sad about Patti==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Thu, 28 Jun 2007 9:22:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I lost a bit of sleep last night, because I remembered that yesterday (June 27), one year ago, [[Patti]] passed away. I cried for a while, with my mom, being reminded of the Burdens hardest to bear; I'm fine now. Funny side-stories, I didn't remember till just after I hit the sack, but earlier I was playing [[Guitar Hero]] to complete the Hard Mode. One song to go, "[[Wikipedia:Bark at the Moon|Bark At The Moon]]"; I said to myself that this one was for Patti. And before that, my mother suggested we go to the SPCA, in addition to finding about the upcoming Rummage Sale, we'd look at the puppies. Subconsiously, we were, without realizing it, being reminded of this one-year anniversary. At least now, Patti's resting in peace, and she's looking down and protecting us and our cats. Did I tell you that Patti and our elder kitty were really close; they would chat on and on, share food and sleep together.

On the bright side, I took up Gamestop's current offer of trading in 2 PS3 games to get one FREE; I got the new Transformers Game after trading in Untold Legends Dark Kingdom and Armored Core 4. I plan to getting replacement copies of those two in the near future. AC4 is among the Game Days Sale offer at 25% off.

I hope you all are safe and doing well. Take Care.

Thinkin' Fondly of you (alongside Patti; bless her soul); Chris Chan. <3<3<3
}}

==Chris talks about the Pokemon League and Megan memories==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Tue, 3 Jul 2007 2:16 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan

I hope that you are able to get my messages over in Kentucky. BTW, which time zone are you in, [[Wikipedia:Central Time Zone (Americas)|Central]] or [[Wikipedia:Eastern Time Zone|Eastern]]? That will matter to when you'd like me to visit you/open my gate.

As for the Dynasty Warriors - Gundam demo, I have enjoyed it. It has better graphics than Crossfire, I get a bird's eye view of the scene, the sword and shield is used more than gunfire, and the control is easier and mech movement is faster.

Last Friday at the League was not bad. A new kid entered who started his membership from a tournament, so he already had a [[Wikipedia:Pokémon Organized Play|POP]] ID number upon his first arrival to the Game Place. I won a few games; lost a couple. I didn't buy any Soul Calibur packs then, but I plan to this coming Friday. On that issue, I will enclose scanned images of the cards I get in the e-mail I send you just after getting a pack or so. Brianna and her family are doing good as well.

I miss you a lot, but I'm okay; I still get a sweet, happy feeling each time I think of your fun wit, your charms, your pretty face and the fun you and I have shared so far. :) I hope you and your family are safe and doing well.

I hope to hear from you soon, and I will send another message later on. XOXOXO

Your Faithful Friend who thinks fondly of you;

Chris Chan. <3
}}

==Chris lists Soul Calibur cards and talks about the Transformers movie==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Fri, 6 Jul 2007 8:52:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I'm guessing you all have been busy, getting settled and enrolling John and whatnot, but I would appreciate a reply soon.

Anyhoo, I got the last 4 Soul Calibur (First Expansion) packs that were at the Game Place tonight, so I got to keep the box. Quite a lot of cards to scan, so I'll just list them. And you may look them up on eBay. The picked up cards are as follows:

* Shishi-Oh - Asset 
* Inhuman Fortitude - Asset 
* Reverse Spiral - Atk 
* Thrust Throw - Atk 
Despair - Atk **Voldo** 
Destined Greatness - Atk 
The Power of the Gale - Found 
Twin Splitters - Atk (X2) 
Shadow Split - Atk 
Hem Stitck - Atk (X2) 
Cross Style Mastery - Found 
Helm Divider - Atk (X2) 
Belligerent Aggression - Found 
Holy Purification - Atk 
Sublime Contmplation - Found 
Dark Destroyer - Atk 
Swift Edge - Atk (X2) 
Disembowel - Atk 
Ax Grave - Atk 
Annihilation - Atk 
Tornado Shot - Atk 
Persistence - Found 
Thrust - Atk 
Earth Scroll - Atk (X2) 
Bamboo Cutter - Atk 
Lost Memories - Found 
Rising Ripper - Atk 
Evil Eye - Atk 
Material Advantage - Found 
Tenpu-Kosai-Ryu-Kai - Found 
Made not Born - Found 
Sword Buster - Atk 
Circle of Steel - Found 
Destruction - Atk 
Hades Break - Atk

That's it for this time.

Briana is still doing good, so is Tony and Ty. We had three new members come in this time; I put together 3 decks for them. Two them were brothers, Mason and Brandon, and Brandon, I've learned from their mother, is [[Autism|High-Functioning Autistic]]. He also was born with weak legs, so he gets around on crutches. Anyway, they all should know the Pokemon TCG rules well now.

I will not be attending the League next Friday; my mother and I will be attending the [[Wikipedia:Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals|SPCA]] Rummage Sale Opening that day, so no new cards then.

On [[Wikipedia:Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day]], [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] and I went to see the [[Wikipedia:Transformers (film)|new Transformers movie]]; it was awesome. It was very dramatic, had chunks of [[Wikipedia:Motion Picture Association of America film rating system|PG-13]] humor and a dash of romance. One humorous moment I remember was something I didn't get to see everyday, [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]] leaked lubricant onto a bad man of secret organization "Sector Seven" like he was doing number 1. There was of course plenty of Military Land and Air action and drama. One soldier was looking forward to coming home to hold his newborn daughter for the first time. A few of the other soldiers were speaking [[Ricardo|spanish]] in front of the Americans. And there were confrences at the Pentagon. You don't have to be a total Autobot fan to enjoy the bunches of Men In Action that I know you would. :)

Well, I have things to do, but I hope you all are doing well in Kentucky. And I miss you, sweetie. <3 Please reply soon.

Faithfully yours with fondful thoughts; 
Chris Chan.
}}

==Megan still away, Chris continues talking about video games==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 6:01:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Just checkin' in again. :)

I've completed my [[Transformers]] game with all missions and sub-missions completed and all icons and energon cubes collected. I've unlocked all the bonus movie/toy/comic images, all seven movies and the ability to play as Generation 1 Optimus Prime and Megatron. I've enjoyed the fantastic detailed graphics, a bit of "Deceptive" Destruction, flying around with [[PS3|Sixaxis Tilt control]], Saving the day, crusin' the streets, and of course the transformations.

Currently, I'm playing Genji: Days of the Blade (free rental due Sunday); It's great ninja-style action, and the story is good too.

I hope you've been able to have fun with your PS2 and the [[PSEye|Eyetoy]] or the [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]]. :) There is still nothing new in video games on Sailor Moon. And upon investigation, I can download ALL the PGSM episodes from Veoh and get them burned to DVD (regardless of the subtitle situation; you can still watch it fully on PC or zoom out on your DVD Player), so I will start work on that soon.

And I have some dough set aside for the Rummage Sale this Friday; I could make out great with finding working systems and games for trade-in and profit.

Aside from all that, I think fondly of you lots, and I count down the days until you and your family return, as well as an E-Mail from you. I miss you so much, and I hope you all are well and safe.

I got to go; the Simpsons are about to come on. [[Love Quest|Hey...I like you]]. <3<3<3

Faithfully yours; [[Chris]] Chan.
}}

==Chris continues to be boring, Megan continues to be away==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 14 Jul 2007 11:18 am 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

I just rested after getting home from the rummage sale. My mother and I left at about 1:00, we went to Chik-fil-a for [[Barbara Chandler|Cow Appreciation Day]] (Free Combo for looking like a cow; I made cow masks for us). After lunch, we went straight to the sale, where we were the 4th and 5th in line, and we waited about 2 1/2 hours. I kept myself entertained with the original Transformers Movie on my [[PSP of Fail|PSP]] for the most part. The NBC news crew was there, and it islikely that I got my face on television (I'll find out on "Film at 11"). And we were interviewed by a paper reporter. As much to my excitement of hopeful finds of Gamecube, PS2 and such for profitable trade-in, after getting a shopping cart, I rushed (without running over anybody) to the electronics. And to my dismay, all they had were a Sega Genesis, a Playstation 1, and the only PS2 they had was priced at $125 (whereas in previous years, it was priced at only $25), so I didn't buy anything. Although my mother made out in her big bunch of fabrics and stuff. On the way home, we picked up a couple more free combo meals, and I decided since I still had the dough, I went ahead and picked up at Wal-Mart a [[PS3]] Intercooler set and a (Autobot) Bumblebee PS2 Slim Skin (for my [[PS3]]). The day wasn't as swift as expected, but it wasn't a total loss.

I wish I could hear from you. I hope you all are doing well. I will send another e-mail soon.

Faithfully yours,

Chris Chan. <3<3<3<3<3
}}

==Chris talks about a soap opera, has "gunky ear", and is still thinking of Megan==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sun, 15 Jul 2007 9:59:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

From the [[Wikipedia:Rubí|"Rubi"]] (Spanish soap opera with english subtitles) DVD set I spent a few of my saved points on [[Wikipedia:My_Coke_Rewards|My Coke Rewards]], which I've received Friday, I just watched the first episode; it was good, I've enjoyed the drama, as well as the scenery of Mexico.

I'd tell you more, but it's moderately hard to think with the return of the gunky ear; it just happened earlier today but in the left ear. I've used some of my previously perscribed ear medicine, but I will attempt to wash it out in the shower later. It's quite the bother like last time.

Aside from that, I'm still thinking of you sweetly and fondly; it is good. :) I long to see you again at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Game Place]] and welcome you back with open arms. I sometimes feel lonely, but it is so worth the wait just to be close to you again. <3 I hope you are safe and well. :)

I'll send you another message soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan. <3<3<3
}}

==Chris enters PaRappa the Rapper contest==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 6:03:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan, (Parappa the Rapper)

About June 29th, I created, edited and submitted an video entry for Playstation.com's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]. I submitted it through e-mail, as well as uploading it to [[YouTube]] and [[Wikipedia:Veoh|Veoh]]. I just got an E-Mail from the Playstation people, and Good News...

"Congratulations! Your [[PaRappa the Rapper]] video contest entry has made it into the voting phase of the contest. We will post your video on us.playstation.com and invite the PlayStation Underground to vote on their favorite. Before the fun begins, please print and sign the attached SCEA video release form and fax to my attention at 310.482.4201. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck! Nathan PlayStation Community Support"

So I've printed the form, signed it, rushed to [[Wikipedia:FedEx Office|Kinkos]] and faxed it. It would be so awesome if I won the Grand Prize... a trip for two to Seattle, WA for the [[Wikipedia:Penny Arcade Expo|Penny Arcade Expo]]. And I couldn't think of anyone better to be there with me than you. :) But given your currently being in Kentucky, and if you all come back home that soon... it could be iffy.

I wanted to let you about that. If you are able to, you may check out the video on Youtube or Veoh; I even mentioned you in it. :)

Seriously, I really wish I could hear from you real soon. I'd like to know how you all are doing, what's been good in Kentucky; all that good jazz. I miss you. <3<3<3

I'll send another E-Mail soon.

Faithfully yours; Chris Chan.
}}

==Chris wishes her a happy birthday, Megan still in Kentucky, Chris whores himself for votes==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: CWCSonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 8:46:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy 21st Birthday, Sweetest [[Megan]]! Happy Birtday to you! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :)

I hope you are having a great Birthday over there in Kentucky. This is what I am able to do for this time, but I did give you your presents earlier. And since you have me in your locket, it's as if I was actually there for your 21st turn. :)

And while I'm thinkin' about it, last friday was okay; nothing special. I got one pack of SC Blades of Fury, and the cards included were as followed:

<nowiki>**</nowiki>[[Wikipedia:List_of_characters_in_the_Soul_series#Mitsurugi|Mitsurugi]] (Character Card) Sole Survivor (Foundation~Yoshimitsu) Spinning Sword (Attack~Yoshimitsu) Mezentius Head Butt (Attack) Killing Bite (Attack) Raise the Shield (Foundation) Tornado Swell (Attack) Jolly Roger Hoist (Attack) Phantasm Fleet (Attack) Dread Charge (Foundation)

I am spreading the word throughout [[MySpace]], my Sonichu, Pokesite 2 (english and spanish), [[Hot Wheels]], and Bionicle websites, through the Playstation Network (with help from playing online with Motorstorm to get names), and Locally at the Game Place and such about voting for my [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper]] Video. I'd really like to win that trip and those [[PSP of Fail|PSPs]], so I can share the expierence with you, my closest, sweetest friend. <3 Who knows, maybe I can wing it for good results. :)

At least I can keep you up-to-date, even though it may still be a while before you can read these E-Mails.

I'll send you another one soon. Have the Happiest of 21st Birthdays, because you've got a nice family to share it with and me.

Faithfully Yours; Chris Chan.
}}

==Chris talks about trading cards and tells Megan he wants to go to Seattle with her==
{{quotebox|
−−−−−Original Message−−−−− 
From: cwcsonichu@aol.com 
To: fourdogs4@sitestar.net 
Sent: Sat, 28 Jul 2007 12:18 pm 
Subject: Dearest Megan,

It was rainy about 3-5 this afternoon, but fortunately a bunch of players showed up today at [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game Place]]. I didn't get a Soul Calibur Pack this week, but I noticed that they have in stock a two-deck pack for Street Figher UFS; Ryu Vs. "Ayku" (wasn't sure of that name) and new Yu-Gi-Oh (GX) Starter Decks featuring Jaden (the Holo card is Elemental Hero Necroshade) and... the boy who plays with the machanic toon vehicles (I forgot his name). Tony warned me last week that he wouldn't make it today, so I worked pretty hard.

I had to sign up two new members; Bridget and Perry. Bridget's deck was perfectly Psychic, so I didn't have to work on hers, but Perry's was a bit of chaos; one [[Yawning Squirtle|Squirtle]], one Wartortle, one Blastoise EX, one Turtwig, one (stage 1 for turtwig), one matching stage 2, and the same column scheme applied to Plipup to Empoleon, Chimchar to Infernape and Charmander to Charizard. And he had a bunch of non-evoling basics that made it a real messed-up haymaker, and the rest was about 2 Boost Energies, one Cyclone Energy, one Multi Energy, one Rainbow Energy, one Psychic, some of the other basics (excluding Metal and Dark) totaling to 28 Energy Cards. And he had no Trainer cards. And what he had in his book was somewhat out of order. But I perservered with a mostly colorless deck for him. :) I got a few small headaches and head-quits (that's where my brain would just zone out for about a few seconds).

Aside from today, last week at the Playstation Store, after like a couple of months, they finally added a NEW PS1 title for download and play on [[PS3]] and [[PSP of Fail|PSP]]: Castlevania - Symphony of the Night. It set me back about 9.99, but I downloaded it. I have made it about half-way to fully through; I'm now playing in the inverted castle (it's upside-down...freaky).

Also, I have been working hard on spreading the word around locally, on [[MySpace]] and on the [[PlayStation Network|PSNetwork]] about voting for my video on the Playstation website. I've played Motorstorm online to get a bunch of names for new acquaintances; I've rarely been able to make it at First place. But one time I did manage to make 3rd. Quite the stress-work, but it will be worth it if I win the trip to Seattle. I fantasy you and me taking the trip, having fun at the Penny Arcade Expo, maybe take a tour of the Nintendo of America company, playing Guitar Hero with you on my PS3 in our hotel room, and basically just being with you, period. :) And I would give you and John the two PSPs (but I would keep one of the two PaRappa the Rapper games). But I digress...

I hope you and your family are doing well and good in Kentucky. I'd wish for you to come back sooner, but I can't control how soon John will be able to finish his mechanic course. I'll be happier when you are standing in front of me again, safe and sound. :)

That's enough from my [[Heart level|heart]] (blush) for a while, my sweet friend. I'll e-mail you again soon.

Faithfully yours;

Chris Chan. <3<3<3
}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Megan 07-03-06.PNG
Image:Megan 07-04-30.PNG
Image:Megan 07-06-04.PNG
</gallery>

{{MeganSaga}}

[[Category:E-mails]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]

Talk:Ivy O'Neil

2010-08-12T04:35:37Z

James Lamp-Eye:

ivy is just chris trying to lay one on us trolls amirite? he probably made the whole thing up.

* Ivy's real. Yeah, I talked to her. Lurk moar.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:16, 16 April 2009 (CEST)

Odd you should say that. She must like watching him drink his own cum? -Decrumpit
:Ain't nuttin' wrong wit dat. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:57, 3 May 2009 (CEST)

==Break up==
I need to fix this. No offense Fat Nigger but please, if you're not sure of something, don't make up details. A lot of what you wrote is misleading. I realize that knowing what happened based of Clyde's description can be limiting but the conclusions arisen do not follow from even just the knowledge of that description. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:57, 22 May 2009 (CEST)

: I added that stuff, sorry. I tried to stick to what Clyde wrote in the "end of an era" thread, using some of his words but didn't figure out in what order things happened. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:06, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

::The history tab is your friend. Most of what I do are minor fixes. [[User:Fat Nigger|Fat Nigger]] 11:37, 24 May 2009 (CEST)

Has any one here read the description about Ivy on his Avril Lavigne parody video? Apparently Ivy killed herself recently because she wasn't able to visit Chris in Ruckersville. What bullshit have you trolls been feeding him this time? And should someone (myself perhaps) update this page with news of "her death"? --[[User:James Yeaman|James Yeaman]] 12:26, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

==dead==
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!--[[User:Muserock7997|Muserock7997]] 15:30, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

*How about you add it to the actual article next time? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 16:04, 25 July 2009 (CEST)

The Krapple quote isn't mine, but it LOL'd me so much! \^o^/ --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 06:37, 30 November 2009 (CET)

Oh my Dog! Why does Chris keep having people die so horribly and violently? Can't they just die without having to burn to death or asphyxiate painfully or reach terminal velocity or ''anything'' not so brutal? What part of Chris makes him do this? --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:05, 1 December 2009 (CET)

Does Chris plan to bump off every one of his remaining ex-girlfriends in this storyline? We should start a dead pool. 20 bucks says Kacey gets decapitated by a jagged broken window or something within 10 pages. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:17, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*No way man. Kacey will get kidnapped by the fiendish brown Sonichu who can never treat her right. --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:22, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Who killed Ivy? ==

A small question - how did Chris figure out Ivy committed suicide? Did someone ''tell'' that to Chris, or did he just ''assume'' Ivy killed herself due to loneliness (like a certain famous lady who died in a fire)? When and how this was brought to Chris's attention, and what were his first reactions? Sauce is nice. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 13:45, 1 December 2009 (CET)
:In [[IRC (23 July 2009)]] Chris tried to spy amongst the trolls by going under the disguise of Bill Riley, yet being Chris still had his hostname being Sonichu. The trolls tagged him along and acted as if they didn't even noticed, and then gave the story that Ivy was TRUE and HONEST with Chris, but because she couldn't see him anymore she hung herself out of sorrow. Seeing how Chris was under disguise we never got a proper reaction, but I bet for at least 5 seconds he felt sad, and then he moved on. --[[User:Da-zen-man|Da-zen-man]] 21:07, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Need pic==

Can someone draw a pic of Ivy being strangled by elevator cables? I would do It but my drawing skills suck ass--[[User:Pikimon|Pikimon]] 18:27, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
*...why? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:24, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
** I'm pretty sure none of us need to know the answer to that one. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:38, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

== Phone calls ==

Were these recorded for any reason? I thought that Chris trolling was highly monitored. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 18:08, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:Ivy wanted PVCC to respect her privacy(or something similar) and therefore her phone calls were not recorded.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:13, 18 June 2010 (UTC)

== Real or Not? ==
I'm getting a lot of confusing suggestions both that Ivy was real and wasn't real. Exactly what is the troll verdict? Is there even certainty either way? All of this seems to be left out in open, for instance: If it was trolls who mentioned Ivy's death, was she real and simply sick of him and his shit and excommunicated him and trying to spare his feelings by saying she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore? Or was he a figment of his imagination that got out of control? (Y'know how if you lie about something for so long, you'll eventually believe the lie? Of course with Chris, it takes considerably less time.) --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 00:00, 12 August 2010.
:Best be trolling. But in case you're not, Ivy was a real girl in contact with Chris. She just wanted a shout-out from him in the Sonichu comics, but instead he latched onto her and she became the next gal-pal. I'm pretty sure the "Ivy killed herself" thing was an attempt to get Chris to show an emotion other than mildly nonplussed dead fish. Lurk more. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 21:35, 11 August 2010 (PDT)

Chris and hypocrisy

2010-08-07T00:34:42Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|right|Above: Chris breaks almost thirty years of proud sobriety due to the influence of [[The Simpsons]].]]
{{quote|I am a man who stands strong and true and by the main woman in his life.|[[Chris]], on remaining faithful to [[Ivy]]<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
{{quote|I love you|Chris to [[Vanessa Hudgens]], 35 minutes later<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 2]]</ref>}}
'''Hypocrisy''' is the act of claiming to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings.

[[Chris]] is an accomplished hypocrite, holding others to standards to which he himself does not live up. This is possibly due to the fact that he's incapable of serious introspection and serious self-examination due to his [[autism]]. Chris believes that he is a blameless, [[Godjesus|holy]] creature that is [[Mary Poppins|practically perfect in every way]]. However, he sees plenty of flaws in the world around him that cause him [[stress]]. He blames all of his problems on external factors like [[trolls]], [[homos]], or the [[JERKS|entire male sex.]] In the past he's faulted [[Manajerks|store managers]] and [[Jerkops|mall security guards]] for complications during his [[Love Quest]], although that's less relevant nowadays as he rarely leaves the house except for trips to [[McDonald's]]. And when he can't fault other people for his problems, Chris relies on autism and stress as fallback excuses.

He's strongly opinionated and drunk on his e-fame, so he sees himself as a [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|role model]] that could change the world. He doesn't necessarily want to change it for the better, but he wants to change it to where everyone conforms to his worldview and showers him with praise so he will never again have to [[Tobacky|feel uncomfortable]], suffer any inconveniences, or be forced to actually put effort into anything. This means arrogantly pointing out the sins of others but never answering to his own, which leads to Chris doling out advice to others that he should be heeding himself.

Chris's [[Mailbag]] answers are particularly rich sources of hypocrisy, where he readily gives advice to people that he himself will never follow.

==Examples==
=== "Grow up!" — Maturity ===
In the latter half of 2009, Chris had become fond of telling his [[trolls]] and detractors to "grow up." This is coming from a 28-year-old man who has lived with his parents continually since graduating high school, [[Chris's resume|has only been employed]] for two months of his entire life, lives in a room full of toys, plays video games all day, refers to things that make him feel uncomfortable with [[CWC-isms|childish euphemisms]], [[Chris and fashion|dresses like a toddler]], and is overly dependent on his parents (and the [[Monthly tugboat|US government]]) to the point of absurdity.

Chris has not moved on past high school. In his late 20s, he still wears his high school ring, uses his old high school colors in art projects (and when he wants to portray Native Americans), and keeps his high school yearbooks within easy reach (so he can [[Mass debating|masturbate]] to [[Kellie Andes]] without leaving his chair). Chris's characters are examples of this as well. Despite ostensibly being 18-22 years old, the Sonichus sometimes don [[:Image:MegagiDecay.jpg|cheerleading outfits]] outside of sexual roleplay. Sonichu and Rosechu were originally 16 and 15 in the comics, respectively, before Chris retconned their ages so they can legally fuck. Then he created a [[Zapina|14-year-old]] character who attends high school in a scandalously revealing outfit. At age 27, Chris dispensed [[CWC Blog|dating advice]] to high school freshmen. A master of subtlety, Chris named one of the villains in his comics ''[[Count Graduon]]''.

In short, Chris idealizes his youth while demonizing the present, as high school was a simpler time when he had a [[Gal-pals|social circle]], [[Biological clock|regular sleep patterns]], and some purpose in life apart from playing video games and debasing himself on the Internet.

=== "GET A JOB, DUDE" — Work ===
[[Image:TwofacedCWC.jpg|thumb|right|"No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation."]]

Chris also likes to tell people to get jobs while he himself has been employed for about two months of his life. On his résumé, Chris lists playing Pokémon cards with small children as volunteer work, when in reality emotionally-stunted manchildren playing Pokémon with little kids can be hardly considered as voluntary service. Chris [[Father Call|sometimes claims]] he was supervising or babysitting the children involved, where in reality Chris himself required some amount of supervision not to fuck up the [[The Game Place|hobby store]] where he played cards.

Much like how acclaimed author J.K. Rowling went on welfare for a year or two so she'd have the time to write the first ''Harry Potter'' book (a franchise which went on to make her one of the richest women in the world), Chris avoids searching for employment to focus on merchandising [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] (a franchise which, as you know, will never make him [[Chris and Copyright|a dime]]). And that takes an hour or two at most: Chris will draw and color a comic page or two, make videos, or astonish Charlottesville residents with his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]] skills in a bizarre marketing stunt. The rest of Chris's time is apparently spent playing [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[Adult Swim|watching TV]], and [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|downloading]] extra content for his video games. Chris has an abundance of free time where he could easily work a full-time job and still find the time to draw Sonichu. That is, if Chris were employable. In reality Chris would [[Donald Duck impersonation|impersonate Donald Duck]] and it would be [[Wendy's]] all over again.

In addition to this, Chris fails at having some basic skills one would need to keep employment, such as: keeping his [[Death threats|murderous rage]] in check, [[Chris and health#Hygiene|basic hygiene]], [[Chris and fashion|dressing appropriately]], showing tolerance and respect for [[Chris and Race|other people]], and [[Megan|keeping one's hands off]] women.

=== "WINDOWS TO HELL" — Other people with mental disabilities ===
While happily claiming disability when it suits him (i.e. when he gets money and/or sympathy from it), Chris gladly reminds everyone that he's (high-functioning) [[autistic]]. However, Chris distances himself from others with autism, calling them "[[slow-in-the-minds]]" and "windows to hell." Chris specifically excluded "the low functionally mentally handicapped," "the [[Chris and health|seriously physically deformed]]," and the "Autistic, high-functionally or otherwise" from an actual list of criteria women would have to meet before he would consider dating them. For the record, "[[blacks]]" are also disqualified. By his own admission, Chris is "sometimes retarded" and is abnormally proud that he is on the autism spectrum. In fact, right below his rigorous standards for his future girlfriend, he admits that he himself is autistic but claims "[[ego|that's another story]]."

Chris denies that any of his Sonichu characters are autistic. Yet they're all copyright-infringing little Mary Sues, need to be in the [[Dating Education|special classes]] Chris thought up and every so often display debilitating social anxiety around the opposite sex. Back when Chris made his own Pokémon cards, he thought up an "autistic Pokémon" named Plautistic (who could disable its own attacks), but this only appears on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' and nowhere else.

In the mailbags, Chris dismisses any similarity between autism and Asperger's syndrome, another disorder on the autism spectrum. Chris went so far as to create a specific section for autism-related emails, and then a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|frothing rant on CWCipedia]] where he rails against those with Asperger's syndrome. The abridged version of Chris's reasoning is that by having a higher-functioning form of autism than Chris, they're diminishing Chris's own accomplishments. Chris considers [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|everything he's done so far]] special because he has autism. To date, the only things Chris has actually accomplished are graduating from high school and a [[PVCC|third-rate community college]], which most people could do with little effort.

Despite likening the mentally handicapped to reanimated walking corpses, Chris bases a large part of his identity around having autism, whether he's triumphing over it by being able to mow a lawn or he's using it as an excuse to sit around and play ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' all day. Incidentally, this behavior is actually somewhat common with teenage girls with bipolar disorder (real, self-diagnosed or imagined), where they'll brag about how terribly bad their bipolar disorder is, how much lithium they're on, and so forth. Most grow out of it by the time they're 18.

==="I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance ===
It's very much in Chris's interests that others tolerate him and his odd behavior. Chris's life is defined by mannerisms that can charitably be described as unorthodox. His autism certainly shapes some of his lesser quirks, but he's also picked up some very strange ideas. He thinks it's normal for adults to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit their pants]], and he found nothing strange about jerking off into a [[fapcup|cup]] and [[recycling|chugging it down]]. He once uploaded a [[YouTube]] video where he [[The Return of Kimmi|made out with a sex doll]] with a picture of his sweetheart taped to its face because he thought it was an endearing act that his sweetheart would want to see. He had a store clerk [[Sports bra photo series|fit him for a bra]] that he wears happily. He uses his [[Sonichu (comic)|children's comic]] to express and explore his [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|sexual fantasies and desires]], and to mete out [[Sub-Episodes|harsh]], sometimes [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|lethal punishment]] on his perceived antagonists. And he's [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_April_28th%2C_2009#Watch|made statements]] to indicate he's [[Chris and Remorse|not ashamed]] of these actions, regardless of what anyone says.

So in order to continue to do whatever he wants to do and not be made fun of, he explains these things away by essentially saying, "everyone does it and you should still consider me normal," even though he'd probably be hard-pressed to name another guy his age that shits himself as much as he does. Deep down, he probably knows some of these things are fucked up, but finds living up to the standards of society to be a huge inconvenience. So he expects others to change their perceptions so that they can accept him and all of the things he doesn't want to change. In instances where someone might think he's a weirdo, Chris preaches tolerance and insists others open their minds to different ideas and not be so judgmental.

However, this doesn't work both ways with Chris. Chris wants people to open their minds to his foibles, but once he's made up his mind that a group of people are doing things that he considers negative, suddenly tolerance goes out the window and he will refuse to show them even the slightest amount of respect and acceptance.

An example of Chris not accepting others came about during the aforementioned war in his mind being waged against Asperger's Syndrome. [[Mailbag 7|When a fan mail submission]] pointed out how stubborn it was to close his mind to documented facts about Asperger's Syndrome, Chris refused any concessions, though in the very next letter he berated someone for following what he called a closed-minded religion and said he'd pray for her to open her [[china|mind]].

In another example, Chris is sickened by the idea of [[Homos|homosexuality]] and [[Captain's_Log%2C_Stardate_February_5th%2C_2009#Take_2|can't even bring himself to say the word "gay,"]] though he will say the word "homo" if he's using it as an insult. He's gone on record as saying he [[CWC Update 30 January 2009|hates gay people]], [[Megan_E-mails#Chris_is_angry_about_Megan_kissing_her_friend.2C_then_pities_himself|is afraid of them]], and would outlaw them if he had the power to do so. Chris has [[Mailbag_1#The_cure_for_homosexuality|envisioned a future where scientists have created a cure for being gay]], and has incorporated this idea into [[Sonichu 10|issue ten]] of his kiddie comic strip. This immense hatred burns deep within him despite the fact that only one gay person (his [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school]] principal)<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> had done anything negative to him in his entire life, until [[Jack Thaddeus]] began to interact with Chris. Though in contrast (as far as Chris is aware) Jack was also the person providing Chris with free hosting for the [[CWCipedia]], which at least makes up for some degree of harassment he has given Chris. It was only later that he'd been led to believe that [[Clyde Cash]] was gay as well. He'd stated to Megan that he had these feelings about gays even before he met her gay friend Christopher (whom he illogically suspected of trying to sleep with Megan). He simply hates them because they exist, and has refused to tolerate them all his life. Despite his past fervor, he has recently stated that he "(does) and will NOT Discriminated homosexuals as Individual People" and that "What they do behind closed doors is None Of My Business, and I still Do Not Care to know a Damn Thing about it." Which is why he employs an [[Magi-Chan|omniscient being]] to [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|spy on people and punish them]] for what they do behind closed doors. Which brings us to...

=== "I fear them all" — Homosexuality ===
Chris is resolute in his beliefs that homos are an abomination before God. But he does make exceptions if the gay person has a [[china]]. During an [[IRC_(02_January_2009)|IRC Chat]] he granted lesbians complete amnesty, saying that if he were in charge, it would be "illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe." When pressed on why it's okay for women to be gay and not men, he fell back on his "all men are [[JERKS]]" defense by saying, "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." However, later that month in a [[Mumble_1#Gays.2C_lesbians_and_men_in_general|Mumble chat]], he softened his stance on whether or not it's okay for women to be gay be saying he would "100% discourage" gay men, but for gay women, he will "partial courage." While Chris often quotes the bible when explaining his hatred of homosexuals, when pressed about his own abominations he will go into a confusing rant about how God only wants people to be happy and not worry about a myriad of rules. In a stunning display of hypocrisy Chris is quite adamant to others that he is not wrong in ignoring any Old-Testament verses against pornography or masturbation, as the Old-Testament is "more for Jewish people," however the one Old-Testament passage regarding homosexuality that he heard on Family Guy is still valid.

In the world of Sonichu, the villainous [[Reldnahc]] is gay, but the [[Heather Iglesias|nanny for Sonichu and Rosechu's kids]] is also gay. She's on the side of good because she's a lesbian, though she's been instructed to keep her [[Silvana|trap]] shut about it. [[Mailbag 4#In which Chris is rude to a young girl|A fan letter]] confronted Chris with the hypocrisy of having lesbians in the comic despite his viewpoints and fine Christian morals. While Chris answered parts of the letter, he conveniently ignored that point. Likely, Chris makes this exception because it would be difficult for him to [[mass debating|fap]] to all the [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|lesbian porn]] he watches and not feel conflicted.

He also will make exceptions if gays do voices in his [[LittleBigPlanet|favorite video games]]. A member of his [[Monty Python|favorite comedy troupe]] was gay, though it's not clear if Chris knows that. But it does seem clear that whether it's porn, TV, or video games, as long as Chris is entertained by a gay person, Chris somehow exempts them from the abomination rule.

His hatred towards gays and everything they stand for contrasts very sharply to some of his actions. Chris has no qualms with drinking his own semen, and has said he would even go as far as [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his semen off his beloved]]. He's admitted to being plagued by [[Mailbag 4|homoerotic thoughts]]. He loves [[rainbow]]s and has frequently put them in his comics. Chris liked the game ''Katamari Damacy'' enough to quote it in some of his videos, a game that features a character wearing a flamboyant ensemble that shows off his huge [[Pickle|schlong]] clearly visible through his tights. He once referred to himself as coming [[IRC (20 January 2009)|"out of his autistic closet."]] He loves gay anthems, such as "I Love the Nightlife," and listens to music straight men generally avoid, such as Backstreet Boys songs. He loves romantic comedy films and even owns a copy of the ''Sex and the City'' movie.

'''Chris shoves [[Sex toys|things]] up his ass.'''<ref>[[Bluespike PSN Chat 3]]</ref> That should say enough about this matter.

In short, many gay men don't act as gay as Chris does sometimes, but he still feels justified at leveling his disapproving scorn at them.

=== "And I emphasize fan fiction" — Chris's creations ===

Chris is extremely protective over Sonichu and the whole media franchise he has created.

If Chris had actually shown any originality, this wouldn't really be a problem: he'd have full rights to do whatever he wants with his own original creations. People would frown on, but begrudgingly stomach, the idea that a writer who used to write fan fiction would strike it big through original works and then tell people not to create any fan fiction based on ''their'' works — legally appropriate, but it would show that the author has forgotten their roots. As [[Chris and copyright|discussed elsewhere]], however, Chris doesn't have all rights to Sonichu, and hasn't quite graduated to the "original works" club. He makes fan fiction and then whines about fan fiction. Even when the media industry tries their darnedest to demonize copyright infringement as theft and everyone laughs at them as a result, let us just use an appropriate analogy here: ''thieves shouldn't whine when someone steals from them.''

Fundamentally, Chris's creations are a bizarre maelstrom of various fan fiction elements, with various bits stolen from a [[Things Chris has Ripped Off|great number of sources]]. Chris seems to be honest about this, and says that he blatantly steals material from various shows.<ref>[[Common Questions#Answered 28 December 2009|Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

However, at the same time, he claims that Sonichu is an original creation of his, and has no problems attempting to dictate how people use this precious creation of his.<ref>[[Down with asperchu]]</ref> In short, he calls other works "fan fiction" and fails to realize that ''Sonichu is fundamentally fan fiction, too'' — he is unable to see that the "fan" creations were created through the ''exact same process'' he himself used. He had the gall to say Sonichu is "[[parody|parodic]]," but doesn't like creations that he has labeled "parodies" either.

Since ''LittleBigPlanet'' allows reusing certain content, Chris also took a number of competently made designs in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and used them in his own levels — [[Download For Play Only|only to tell people not to do the same with his levels]] when the policy was changed and all levels were made downloadable and editable offline.

Oh, and just to top it off: he's crying over [http://www.zazzle.com/sonichu+gifts VERY REAL] unauthorized [[Jimmy Hill|Sonichu merchandise]], and profiting on (godawful) unauthorized [[eBay|Aqua Teen merchandise]].

=== "Get those cameras off me!" — Privacy ===
In the mailbags, Chris describes CWCville as a place where homosexuality is forbidden by law. This is enforced by [[Magi-chan]], who uses his psychic abilities to monitor all citizens at all times. Offenders are then rounded up and ''fined $500'', money they could have otherwise spent on video games.

Several days later, Chris would use the Sonichu comic to rail against celebrity news website TMZ for invading the privacy of his electric hedgehogs, who are apparently as interesting and noteworthy as actual celebrities. TMZ was depicted as a floating, all-seeing movie camera that spied on Rosechu putting in a tampon, Sonichu and Rosechu reenacting a bondage scene from ''[[Family Guy]]'', and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie Sonee]] describing unnatural acts with a (possibly anthropomorphic) lizard.

Chris also stated during correspondence with his Wiki SysOp that he would go as far to [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The_Introduction_Image_Space_is_NOT_Ad_Space_(CCS)|distribute a video]] of himself having sex with a woman, recorded using hidden cameras, to prove his heterosexuality. When later pressed on this being a blatant invasion of privacy, Chris covered himself by stating that he would [[Mailbag 31#In_which_Chris_crosses_yet_another_line|blur the participating woman's face]], and upon further questioning changed his proposal to [[Mailbag 34#Chris_would_find_someone_okay_with_being_filmed_to_take_his_"virgin cherry branch"|involve a woman]] actually willing to participate.

Although Chris originally lost his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] when [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]] released a candid photograph of him at [[The Game Place]] to the internet, he had no qualms about walking into the same store (a privately owned establishment that he had been permanently banned from) and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|surreptitiously recorded an audio conversation]] without the [[Michael Snyder|other party's]] consent or knowledge. Not only has the irony completely escaped Chris, but he is deliberately spreading the audio in an attempt to gain sympathy, believing that others will find him in the right despite his shady tactics. He later [[6 June 2010|tried to surreptitiously take a photograph of that same person]], but was stopped when he noticed Chris outside with a camera.

=== "They set me on fire!" — Slander ===

[[Image:BurnedMySeat.jpg|thumb|left|Chris, March 2008: [[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|"I set my ASS ON FIRE!"]] Chris, January 2010: [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|"He sets me on fire!"]]]]
It is evident to the readers of Sonichu that Chris uses the comic to settle his conflicts in real life. Every time he felt wronged by someone, he felt the unique urge to incorporate them in the comic and having his main hero (an idealized vision of himself) literally beating them up.

The main victim of this treatment was Mary Lee Walsh, the Dean of Student Affairs at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Because she "Dared" interrupting Chris in his [[Love Quest]] on the grounds of the college, Chris launched himself in a ridiculous one-sided feud against her and included her as the main villain in his comic. This is not an isolated incident. He gave the same treatment to literally anyone who had [[Stress|frustrated]] him. The list includes (but is not limited to) a [[Bagget|police officer]] called in to evict him from a [[Target]] store, various store [[Jerkop|security]] [[Jerkhief|guards]] and [[Manajerks|managers]], romantic [[Wes Iseli|rivals]], old [[CADD Chef|teachers]] and even [[Joseph Herring|fellow students]] only because they were popular with the girls.

This wouldn't be a problem if the situation was contained in the comic itself. Anyone free to make an educated guess would say that Chris uses artistic license to overcompensate for his weaknesses in real life. This, however, disregards many [[Death threats]] he issued to individuals on the net. [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Clyde Cash]], two well-known antagonists of Chris, were berated (without success) into [[To Clyde and Jack|committing suicide]]. In the comic [[Sonichu 10]], they throw themselves down a 72-story elevator shaft. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the creator of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page regarding Chris's antics, not only received [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|cryptic messages]] from Chris, but saw his own character [[Sonichu 8#The Clarksville Address|left for dead in a pool of his own blood]] after being battered by [[Rosechu]]'s [[Pickle|genitalia]]. The last example is quite disturbing. After a [[Liquid Chris#Showdown|long feud]] with the man known as [[Liquid Chris]], he saw no problem [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|yelling at him]], issuing [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|death threats]], and trying to steal his [[Kacey|girlfriend]]. When this failed, he introduced the gentleman in the issue [[Sonichu Special 4]] of his comic, where he shot him in the shins after disarming him. When the girlfriend, scared for her and her boyfriend's safety, asked him what it was all about, he answered that it wasn't that bad [[Kacey and Liquid Call|since he barely shot him in the legs]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris strongly disapproves of this method of expression when he's on the receiving end of it. When [[Down with Asperchu|he attacked]] Alec Benson Leary for the creation of [[Asperchu]], Alec had no scruples about putting him in front of the [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Issue_C/Page_29 business end of a flamethrower]. This insulted Chris so much that he felt the need to make a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|long video]] where he calls the attack made on him "horrendous" and vows that the [[Patti Chandler|spirit of his dead dog]] will avenge him. He would later cap off Sonichu 10 with a graphic depiction of Alec's execution, but not before mentioning the fiery incident one more time.

In late May 2010, Chris abandoned the [[CWCipedia]] after trolls overran it once again. In a message left behind, Chris claims that anything that doesn't come from his YouTube account, the former CWCipedia webpage or his [[OKCupid]] account is false and that anything shown elsewhere was made up just to slander ''him''. It's easy to see that Chris does not want others to see what kind of person he really is and thus claims that everything else that wasn't on something he created is false. Sadly, it doesn't work that way - just looking up his name in any of its forms brings up a lot of information about him, mostly the same things we already know about him. The Internet is a dangerous place and Chris doesn't know how dangerous it is.

==="A Sweetheart from the Ground Up" — Women===
A big example of Chris's hypocrisy is the ridiculously high standards for a "[[sweetheart]]" that he's published at various times in his life, such as on the [[attraction sign]]. Some of the biggest offenders in regards to hypocrisy are:

"Must Have a Mid to high salary." Chris does not have a job, has no prospects for a job, and lives on [[monthly tugboat|Government Welfare]] yet any woman he dates must be gainfully employed, presumably so Chris can [[Chris and Money|spend]] her money on [[List of Chris's games|video games]] and [[sex toys]].

"Must be average to slender body size." Chris is an [[obesity|overweight]] lazy slob, yet demands that any potential sweetheart that he deigns to give his attention to be thin and cute.

"Must not have [[autism]]." Despite the fact that Chris has made being autistic a huge point of pride, he absolutely refuses to consider any girl with the same condition on the grounds that he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==="I would have them ESS-acuted!" — Capital Punishment===

Chris has made it known in his mailbag that he is [[Common Questions#30 January 2010|opposed to the death penalty]]. However, in [[9 February 2010|02092010.MOV]], after the CWCipedia was taken offline, he ranted that he wanted to see Alec, Evan, and Mao [[Death threats|executed]]. That's right, serial murderers deserve clemency but people who try to stop Chrissy from [[simonla|stealing intellectual property]] deserve capital punishment.

Chris later carried out these executions within the pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. This sequence was incredibly hypocritical, as he sentenced them to death and killed them '''as he listed off all the ways in which he wronged them.'''

In the [[05142010]] video, Chris shows us that he thinks twenty years of menial labor is a suitable punishment for murdering a woman in real life. This is, of course, two and a half months after he revealed that he thought genital mutilation via a large drill was an appropriate response to forcing him to give up a character that didn't belong to him in the first place.

==="Don't be a moof or aloof" — Mature content===
{{Quote|I would never do blood and gore. That's just gross|Chris, on [[22 January 2010]].}}
Chris has severe problems understanding media with mature themes, or, to be specific, media with [[Chris and death|death]]. It appears that Chris is railing heavily against video games that are rated Mature or higher, and thinks that realistic depictions of death in fiction "sadden" him.<ref>[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]</ref> Yet, at the same time, he thought the ''Saw'' movie series was good, ''despite'' the gruesome deaths featured therein. Even if this is not outright hypocrisy, it's still clear that there's something very ''odd'' going on in here; it's clear that he's enjoyed some mature-rated works, but he's still clinging to teen-rated games at best — there's huge amounts of cognitive dissonance at work here.

Chris has said a number of times in videos and mailbags that his comics will never feature excessive violence and gore. For a long time, Chris took great pains to avoid showing outright death in his comics. [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] was claimed to be kept alive by "dark forces", and [[Liquid Chris]] was [[Sonichu Special 4|shot in the legs]], as a sort of attempt at a nonlethal shooting. The deaths of [[Pandahalo]] and [[Ivy]], while horrific, were both not actually shown, so it was almost as though Chris was keeping his word.

[[File:Evan'sDeath.JPG|thumb|right|Remember, this is a comic for kids!]]
Blatant outright hypocrisy on this matter finally surfaced in the last few pages of [[Sonichu 10]]. He broke this promise in a spectacularly graphic manner, with the (court sanctioned) deaths of the [[Asperpedia]] staff. Alec and Sean were killed by the electric chair and firing squad, respectively. While these are both highly controversial means of inflicting capital punishment, they both exist in the real world as ways to accomplish something as terrible as ending a human life as quickly as possible, and in that way they are arguably humane.

By contrast, there is nothing humane or even reasonable about the deaths of Evan and Mao. Evan is shackled to a wall, and mutilated for an indeterminate amount of time before being apparently stabbed to death by Wild and Sandy. This outright torture included cutting off both of his legs, one of his arms, a series of deep cuts to his torso, and ''genital mutilation via a giant drill''. Mao had his arms and legs telekinetically forced to bend in the wrong direction, causing the snapped bones to rip though his skin. As he lay on the ground, screaming in agony, Chris telekinetically burst his heart with not a bit of [[remorse]] or justification of why.

All of the violence in the final pages of Sonichu 10 is particularly egregious when compared to what the ''offenders'' came up with. While Asperchu and [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] feature violence and gore, it's all clearly over the top and meant to be humorous. Chris's depiction of violence comes across as dead serious, and he seems to hate the offenders with the fury of a thousand suns. Also of note is that most of the violent acts in Asperchu are committed by villains, like Metal Asperchu and [[Silvana]]. In Sonichu, these executions were carried out by the ''heroes'', including a [[Bill the Scientist|doctor]], a [[Sandy Rosechu|little girl]], and the [[Chris|mayor]].

Chris not only has difficulties understanding mature content when it comes to violence, but also sex and profanity. Chris claims that [[Mailbag_20#Chris_considers_his_audience|his comic is equivalent to a TV-Y7 program]], which according to broadcast standards would mean no sexual content or innuendo whatsoever, even if censored. However, ''Sonichu'' is loaded with sex, pornography, and innuendo, but Chris says it's okay because [[Asperchu_is_a_Horrendous_Joke|he'll put tiny stickers over genitalia]]. When asked about all of the sex and violence via mailbag, Chris blamed the FCC.<ref>[[Mailbag_51#The_recent_explosion_of_pornography_in_TV-Y7_cartoons_is_not_Chris.27s_fault|Mailbag 51]]</ref> Chris has stated that [[Mailbag_47#Mellow_out.2C_it.27s_just_furry_porn|showing kids pornography]] is just a way to educate them on things they're going to eventually see. Yet when it comes to profanity, another thing people learn as they become adults, Chris takes great pains to censor swear words and scold others for using them. Sonichu 10 reveals that profanity may be a capital crime. He'll even censor vaguely offensive words that most kids are allowed to say, such as "damn" and "crap." However, none of this is being done for the children. Chris loves pornography and dislikes when other people swear (note that he swears all the damn time), so that's how his comic is going to be presented.

==="Nobody Needs the Internet!" — Leaving the Internet Forever===

On the afternoon of Sunday March 21st, Chris announced he was [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|leaving the Internet]] for good with a [[Chris and ego|pompous and bombastic]] speech about how the Internet was trivial and unimportant and everyone should go outside and socialize, and stated that the social networking capabilities of the Internet were a [[Pokemon|stupid fad]] which was long since over. Chris acknowledged that putting his [[Dox|personal information]] on the Internet was a bad idea ([[Little_Big_Planet#The_Guardian_of_the_Owl_Kingdom|one]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|many]]), and promised he would no longer upload Sonichu comics or interact with trolls, online or by phone. He resolved to get the Sonichu comics published and interact with real people in his [[Charlottesville|community]].

On the evening of Monday, March 22nd — about a day and a half later — he uploaded a short video where he claimed that he was still depressed, and then went on to state his disapproval with a new voice actor on [[Family Guy]] spin-off ''The Cleveland Show'' and demanded that the old voice actor resume the role. Chris might be excused for breaking his promise to make a video announcing a major life change, like a [[Bob Chandler|death in the family]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|returning to school]], [[Wendy's|finding gainful employment]], or even giving an [[Chris and remorse|actual apology]] to a [[Megan Schroeder|former friend]] he offended with [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his behavior]]. Instead, Chris chose to make a video simply for the sake of making a video complaining about something inconsequential that didn't affect his life in any way.

As well, Chris keeps posting more and more videos afterward. When he does, he makes the same claim - that he is "distancing himself from the Internet". However, distancing himself from the Internet is certainly not the same as leaving the Internet. He's still on there, even when he's playing on the PSN. Even if we assume that his definition of "leaving the internet" simply means "Not uploading videos or making comics", he's still failed to hold true to his vow on every occasion he's attempted to leave forever.

==Chris on hypocrisy==
{{quote|A: "hypocrite"; an adjective; 1) to be of a belief while not upholding that belief. 2) a total liar. 3) [[Fanbase|an UNTRUE Fan]]. example: When the Sonichu Fan left Sonichu for [[Asperchu|a newer, yet badly drawn, thing]], after having said that they would always enjoy Sonichu forever, is a hypocrite among the Truest and Loyalest Sonichu Fans.|Chris, on what it means to be a hypocrite}}

In the [[Common_Questions#Answered_20_January_2010|Mailbag questions]], Chris was asked to define "hypocrite." His answer shows that he barely understands the concept, thinks it's some kind of insult (like "naïve" or "benevolent"), and somehow refers to a fan's level of devotion.

Chris's first definition is very broad, and could be used to describe hypocrisy (one's stated beliefs being in conflict with one's actions), but could also be used to describe a general lack of enthusiasm. Under Chris's definition, a homophobe who doesn't take [[Sonichu 10|drastic measures]] to eradicate homosexuality would be a hypocrite.

His second definition is just hyperbole, in the same way someone would throw around "fascist" when not using it to describe an [[CWCville|extreme right-wing authoritarian nationalist]].

Chris's third definition is more of a (failed) example to ''describe'' a hypocrite, and more describes Chris's "if you're not now, you never were" attitude towards fandom. In Chris's mind, he must enjoy all Sonic the Hedgehog games regardless of quality, and wear and display Pokémon merchandise well past an age where that would be considered socially acceptable. Because Chris enjoyed Sonic and Pokémon when he was younger, he's not allowed to move on, grow up, and find other, more adult interests.

Chris then went on to rail against Asperchu, and refused to acknowledge the dozens of mailbag letters pointing out examples of his hypocrisy, double standards, and contradictions.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's lies]]
* [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2010-08-04T00:34:58Z

James Lamp-Eye: i'm too cool for the preview button

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (most likely over dramatic bullshit), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia, and a victim of [[Noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls". (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22_(logic)|Catch 22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A Cornell University [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html psychology journal] details this phenomenon; it is a disturbingly accurate account of Chris's reaction to [[reality]].

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in 2004 took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend," although he did not go so far as to hand down a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He also administered a Folstein test, a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the Global Assessment of Functioning, the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===The trolls' perspective===
The rest of the human race believes that Chris has ''way'' more than autism to worry about. Popular theories mark him as a sociopath and/or a pathological [[ego|narcissist]], for instance, and also point towards what seems like a paranoid streak (as when Chris proposed that the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] school board has [[100 2178|conspired over a period of decades]] to make him miserable). Since the only available view is from a distance, though, there's no way anyone can know for certain if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Until Chris gets some sustained professional attention, most of the speculation about his issues remains exactly that. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory Anger Management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag 2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag 4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, [[LittleBigPlanet]] or [[Guitar Hero]] DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal Medicaid or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered Noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a 13-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely some time in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late 1980s, the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day, but he is no longer on Paxil specifically. In [[Mailbag 13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects. He didn't specify what those side effects were or what medication he's now taking; only that the Paxil caused problems that "only hit adults". Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]].

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary-school years or some time after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes. The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional... and... well... [[Chris_and_anger|he still can't control his anger]]. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, behavior remains the same. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a more recent [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris feels he has found some form of real life [[Dating_education|date ed]]. More likely, Chris has come upon a class for couples who want to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to find out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being... common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some white knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism papers]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2010-08-04T00:33:42Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (most likely over dramatic bullshit), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia, and a victim of [[Noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls". (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22_(logic)|Catch 22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A Cornell University [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html psychology journal] details this phenomenon; it is a disturbingly accurate account of Chris's reaction to [[reality]].

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in 2004 took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend," although he did not go so far as to hand down a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He also administered a Folstein test, a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the Global Assessment of Functioning, the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===The trolls' perspective===
The rest of the human race believes that Chris has ''way'' more than autism to worry about. Popular theories mark him as a sociopath and/or a pathological [[ego|narcissist]], for instance, and also point towards what seems like a paranoid streak (as when Chris proposed that the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] school board has [[100 2178|conspired over a period of decades]] to make him miserable). Since the only available view is from a distance, though, there's no way anyone can know for certain if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Until Chris gets some sustained professional attention, most of the speculation about his issues remains exactly that. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory Anger Management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag 2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag 4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, [[LittleBigPlanet]] or [[Guitar Hero]] DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal Medicaid or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah May chat|Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered Noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a 13-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely some time in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late 1980s, the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day, but he is no longer on Paxil specifically. In [[Mailbag 13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects. He didn't specify what those side effects were or what medication he's now taking; only that the Paxil caused problems that "only hit adults". Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]].

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary-school years or some time after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes. The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional... and... well... [[Chris_and_anger|he still can't control his anger]]. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, behavior remains the same. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a more recent [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris feels he has found some form of real life [[Dating_education|date ed]]. More likely, Chris has come upon a class for couples who want to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to find out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being... common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some white knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism papers]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2010-08-04T00:33:19Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''psychology'''. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist at grade school while his screams were recorded (most likely over dramatic bullshit), and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris currently refuses to see a psychologist, opting to see a [[Rocky Shoemaker|pastoral counselor]] instead.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia, and a victim of [[Noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the trolls". (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22_(logic)|Catch 22]].)

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A Cornell University [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html psychology journal] details this phenomenon; it is a disturbingly accurate account of Chris's reaction to [[reality]].

===The 2004 survey===
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at [[PVCC]] in 2004 took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend," although he did not go so far as to hand down a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He also administered a Folstein test, a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment — Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the Global Assessment of Functioning, the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway in between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===The trolls' perspective===
The rest of the human race believes that Chris has ''way'' more than autism to worry about. Popular theories mark him as a sociopath and/or a pathological [[ego|narcissist]], for instance, and also point towards what seems like a paranoid streak (as when Chris proposed that the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County]] school board has [[100 2178|conspired over a period of decades]] to make him miserable). Since the only available view is from a distance, though, there's no way anyone can know for certain if Chris's brain is garlanded with healthy chunks of the DSM-IV-TR or if he's merely a gullible idiot with a terrible upbringing and worse personality (and autism).

Until Chris gets some sustained professional attention, most of the speculation about his issues remains exactly that. Which leads to a larger problem...

==Professional help?==
One of the most [[Rage|frustrating]] elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever been in was a compulsory Anger Management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listens to is [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claims that he has no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag 2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag 4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It would be likely that he could seek the help of a professional for little or no cost, as his [[monthly tugboat]] in the form of SSI does offer basic psychological services that would allow him the ability to to talk to a board-certified counselor and get the help he does need. It's likely though he doesn't even know this service is available, as he only regards his SSI check as income or a cheap means of getting [[PS3]] games, [[LittleBigPlanet]] or [[Guitar Hero]] DLC, and [[sex toys]] rather than a reassurance that he is covered under federal Medicaid or the equivalent state Medicaid program offered by the Commonwealth of Virginia.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or used to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah May chat|Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism]] only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered Noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Chris refuses to get help because he doesn't think he needs any, and because he has better things ([[PS3|games]], [[anime]], [[Kimmi|porn]]) to spend his money on. Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are, regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a 13-year-old]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things, regardless of how any mental health worker worth his salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of [[fail]], Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling other people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and Hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag 35]]</ref>

==History of medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely some time in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late 1980s, the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less and less common. More recently, however, Imipramine has commonly been prescribed to patients who have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|urinary problems]].

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his [[stress]] and [[Chris and anger|anger issues]]. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward.

Chris continues to take antidepressant medication to this day, but he is no longer on Paxil specifically. In [[Mailbag 13]], he explained that he switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects. He didn't specify what those side effects were or what medication he's now taking; only that the Paxil caused problems that "only hit adults". Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]].

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for substantial weight gain, which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and sedentary lifestyle.

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh's experience at dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems makes her experienced on the issue. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===[[Autism papers|Psychiatric Papers]]===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point Chris received psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mt. Sidney, Virginia (a small town northwest of his home in Charlottesville). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary-school years or some time after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|ordered]] to take anger management classes. The only thing that seemed to arise from it were complaints that he had to pay to see a professional... and... well... [[Chris_and_anger|he still can't control his anger]]. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as it occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and is only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris' that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===[[Rocky Shoemaker]]===
Religious institutions are fond of providing counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she is probably not the best solution for Chris because...
#He considers her to be a perfect, all-encompassing alternative to a qualified professional.
#He barely listens to anything she fucking says.
#He misconstrues everything she says, accepting advice he likes and ignoring advice he doesn't like.
She has told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remains as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she has put a stop to trolling plans, behavior remains the same. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls.

[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?

About the only thing that he has taken away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a more recent [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris feels he has found some form of real life [[Dating_education|date ed]]. More likely, Chris has come upon a class for couples who want to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to find out how to get into one. The true nature of the course is irrelevant since Chris is creepy and out of place pretty much anywhere he goes.

===White knights and trolls===
It doesn't take a lot of effort for anyone to see that Chris has no common sense. Likewise, common sense being... common, [[white knights]] and [[trolls]] are often quick to point out that most of what Chris does is stupid/insane/socially abnormal. He doesn't fucking get it. As a result, many trolls have become armchair psychologists pondering [[Autism|why exactly he doesn't get it]]. It doesn't matter what they come up with, the result is always that Chris doesn't listen to anyone if he doesn't want to, no matter what level they are on the ladder. [[Vivian Gee|Some white knights]] have gotten so fed up with Chris's adamant refusal to improve himself or heed advice that they've essentially moved on to becoming professional trolls.

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Autism papers]]
*[[Asperger's syndrome]]
*[[Dreams]]

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

True and Loyal Fanbase

2010-07-19T20:36:29Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|thumb|Spread the word!]]

{{quote|1000000000+|[[Chris's]] totally accurate and [[Chris and His Ego|unbiased]] estimate of the number of Sonichu fans, [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|Common Questions, 26 January 2010]]}}

[[Chris]] constantly refers to his [[trolls|fans]] as his "'''True and Loyal Fanbase'''" (aka his "fandase"). Fun fact: There are no actual [[Sonichu]] fans. Literally none. Let's pretend that looking at the garbage Chris produces is not enough proof to support that statement. Let's pretend the fact that he updates his shit about once every six months, and expects everyone to wait patiently is not enough proof to support that statement. Consider this: If there actually was one, wouldn't we have found out about them by now?

Nevertheless, in [[Mailbag 48]], Chris stated that he believes he has '''over a billion fans''', meaning that roughly 1/6th of the world's population (or approximately over [[Chris and the Internet|half of the users of the Internet]]) has supposedly discovered and grown to love Sonichu since the comic began back in [[2000]]. It may be worth noting that approximately 1/6 of the world's population is illiterate.

==Personal army==
[[File:ChrisPersonalArmy.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Like many individuals who have become notorious on the internet, Chris believes that he has a sizable fanbase that adores him. Furthermore, he persists in this belief despite the fact that his "fanbase" has repeatedly proven to be comprised exclusively of [[trolls]].

Chris addresses his supposed supporters whenever he feels they would be most helpful, such as when he needs support in a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] or wants to see a [[Clyde Cash|troll taken care of]], and speaks in the sincere expectation that total strangers will carry out his orders simply because he gave them. This belief was likely reinforced by the backfired trolling attempt during the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], and it's possible that's what drives him to continue acting this way.

Chris recently tried to play the Personal Army game in the aftermath of his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|confrontation]] with [[Michael Snyder]]. The related [[Jackie e-mails]] gave us an interesting glance at Chris's perspective on his ability to command his fans, as well as this interesting tidbit:

{{Quote|Considering after what had transpired, I decided to upload the audio-only video onto my [[YouTube]]. I tried to be nice and peaceful. Now HE (Michale) will have to deal with my [[Trolls]] for his discrimination against me.|Chris, [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#The Game Place Aftermath: Chris' Version|expressing his belief that trolls will help him]].}}

It's currently unclear ''why'' Chris believes his trolls would bow to his requests. It's possible he thinks that his trolls are indiscriminately cruel to everyone, and that, if given a target, they would lash out against it without a second thought. Then again, given his sizable [[ego]] and shaky grasp on [[reality]], it's also possible he thinks that trolls will do what he says just because he said it.

On July 17th, 2010 Chris posted a series of tweets (if they can be called that given that Chris boldly defies the definition of microblogging) on his [[Twitter]] account after roughly three months of silence. In typical Chris fashion, he was only doing so not out of care for his fans but to ask for people to give him DLC codes for [[ModNation Racers]], helping to push his agenda along by claiming that he was ''still'' working on the Sonichu comics. This is despite the fact that much of Chris's Sonichu fan base had long ago given up hopes for any new pages. Along with e-begging, Chris proceeded to plug his ModNation Racers creations.

==Chris's contempt for his fans==
Chris takes his alleged fanbase entirely for granted. When he doesn't want something from them, he ignores them. He is happy to try and extort them, in fact, as when he threatened [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|to withhold his comics unless the ED page was taken down]]. Despite his contemptuous attitude towards them, he assumes that his TRUE and LOYAL fans will keep the [[trolls]] in check. Another example came on [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|27 August 2009]], when Chris implored his fanbase to remove every last video that showed the tour of his house after his father found out about it. To this day, mirrors of the two-part video still pop up to mock Chris.

Despite his belief that his fans adore him, Chris is notoriously inattentive to the sort of things that allow a person to continue having fans. He believes that people love him for his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], and yet his updates are often months apart. His attitude is neatly summed up at the end of [[Sonichu 10]], in the message from [[Things Chris has ripped off|Marvey Blaziken]]. Chris wants the adulation that goes along with being a popular artist, but he thinks that he ought to receive it in exchange for whatever amount of effort he feels like putting forth. Which, Chris being Chris, isn't very much at all.

Chris refuses to take responsibility for his output or lack thereof, blaming any troubles on [[stress]] caused by the trolls. In a sense, because he expects his fans to take care of the trolls for him, he's blaming them for the fact that he can't keep updates regular. He also shows his fans contempt by having the radio on in the background during fan chats over Mumble and giving extremely short, often rude, responses to lengthy, innocent questions in the [[Mailbag]].

As his ego has swollen over the years, Chris seems to have come to believe he can control what his fans do with their lives. In [[Down with asperchu|a video from January 2010]], Chris told his fans to never read an issue of [[Asperchu]] because "there are no LINKS" to Chris's works. He later went so far as to try and [[U8C43P2A37A8_y_U8C1N023V0L|brainwash]] his followers into hating what he viewed as a rival comic.

==Chris turns on his fans==
In March 2010, after a troll interfered in Chris's pursuit of [[The Wallflower]], Chris took to his [[CWC Blog|blog]] and attacked his fans along with the trolls, accusing them of breaking up his quest for True Love out of a selfish desire to consume more of his comics. "You all are just as Terrible as I portrayed Mary Lee Walsh to be," he declared, "[[Chris and hypocrisy|so self-absorbed in yourselves]], [[Snorlax|spoiled]], and such, YOU ONLY want more story arcs and [[Chris and art|art]] MORE QUICKLY than my own Inspiration can come up with. You all are nothing bug [[Chris and money|greedy]], [[Chris and anger|impatient]], [[Sarah Hammer|un]][[Megan|lov]][[The Wallflower|ed]] and corrupted people."

He also claimed to tire of trying to please the "millions" of fans he has. Instead, he explained that he only wants to please "[[Chris|the local few around me]] who I truly and deeply care about." What this could mean is a number of things. The biggest thing he feels they have done is trolled him just as badly as the trolls themselves just to get his comics. Thus, he feels that they share equal blame with the trolls just because he doesn't want to spend time working on his comic.

This might have represented a valuable moment of clarity on Chris's part. He may have managed to discover, however inadvertently, that all his comic really accomplishes is to draw unwelcome attention to him.

Unsurprisingly, Chris soon forgot all about this and went back to assuming command over his personal army, directing them to [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|harass a manager]] for not letting him back into a store.

==List of fans who aren't trolls==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]]

==See also==
* [[Chris and his Ego]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

CWCki:Policy

2010-07-17T22:09:26Z

James Lamp-Eye:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

* To avoid altercations like this, I would delete the index entirely. Simply put, there are other, far more suitable venues to put this, so you won't ever have to lapse into offended rage, or conversely, argue with trolls sticking their 'n***** noses' in your business. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Guys===
The admins are at liberty to delete whatever the fuck they don't like. It just so happens they don't like torture porn involving Sonees and Roseys and comics intended to piss Chris off a la Asperchu. I know Asperchu gave you all hope for your fan comics and getting into the annals of troll history, but Asperchu happened because until then no one had attempted anything like it. The way to get into troll history is not to follow in the footsteps of more famous trolls, but to find areas of Chris's psyche no one has prodded before and poke the shit out of them until you get an angry YouTube video. If you really really REALLY still want your fics visible on the internet, make your own Sonichu site for fanworks or join a preexisting one, such as [http://caferosechu.110mb.com/index.html Cafe Rosechu] (which is run by the girl who made Capering Berries). ... As for the underage guro, fucking stop. That's disgusting. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 22:09, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with the statement about NPOV. When i edit articles that's usually what I'm going for. The CWCville article was ridiculous and full of shit that just wasn't the case, as are a great many articles. People making jokes and idle speculation at the expense of reality.

So kids, keep the memes out, and if a facet of Chris' mind or life is an unknown leave it that way instead of inserting your own idle speculation. We're here to document the real CWC (and related fictions about CWC created by the real CWC), not to create our own CWC. [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 00:15, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*I've been thinking that maybe the best solution at this point would be to prohibit any discussion of matters unrelated to Chris and the CWCki, even on your own user page. Thus, many of the members who had been harassed or whatever in the past would probably have never been targeted in the first place. Granted, I would prefer if we didn't have to limit the users right to say what they want, and it would certainly be a pain in the ass to enforce,but could potentially prevent most if not all of the harassment issues. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 21:47, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, given that I know Wikipedia has basic rules about user pages, namely it's used to discuss one's contributions to Wikipedia and nothing more. Good thinking.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:18, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
*It might also help if suggesting that we resolve a bureaucratic issue without resulting to namecalling [[User_talk:DrShoggoth|didn't result in vague threats.]] --[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 22:03, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
**agreed. I'm not exactly the biggest contributor on here, but even I've seen Delabonte threatening others for asking him to be a bit less abrasive in his messages, asking why exactly they were in trouble for something, or even not sharing the same opinion as him. Why does this guy get away with it? Also, I don't care if he's "respected by Cogs" as has been said, that doesn't mean he should be allowed to abuse his position, spam angry templates on other people's accounts just because he doesn't like them, and generally treat everyone else like shit. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:03, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I agree on this policy. This kind of harassment brings down CWCki's appearance in a whole. It makes us look less like a reputable source on an autistic manchild and more like a restricted community of threatening rep destruction and overenforced rules. There is no need to attack innocents just for casual talk or for living certain lifestyles, it's just plain wrong in general. Delabonte is just a person who feels privileged and like he needs to point out things about people and act like he needs to be a Jr. Mod of sorts. To be frank, this is annoying and just rude. I'm a member of many places, but never once have I done anything like go out and go "OH NO THAT'S NOT FOLLOWING '''MY''' RULES TEMPLATE ''TEMPLATE'' ''' ''TEMPLATE'' '''!" and not a lot of people here have before. It's inappropriate, immature and quite low IQed. So, in conclusion, and tl;dr: Agree with idea, down with empty threated non-mod steam-filled members. --[[User:Eniggy|Sen. John Eniggy, finishing opening statements for case on the Congressional floor]] 04:48, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Not to be a jackass or anything, but try and keep in mind where you are. This is a website dedicated to trolling an autistic manchild. Many of the people here are involved with other trolling operations and such. Lots of trolls like to target furrys. By ousting yourself as a furry here you're essentially making yourself a black man at a Ku Klux Klan rally. Not saying that all of this harassment should have occurred, but it certainly wasn't unforeseeable to the victims. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:36, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*ThatMan has nailed why Delabonte and others feel warranted in acting like they do and this is pretty much the justification for some of Cog's and Clyde's actions here. Remember, this is a critical site of Chris, essentially out to troll him, and so you're not going to be attracting the same sort of people to edit as say, Wikipedia. I can talk to Delabonte about shit.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:09, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Actually, I'm not a furry (they scare me, to be quite honest- I'd sooner run through traffic and fling myself off a highway bridge than be one) but the point here, as shown by your post is, is about the exploits of Chris and the trolls who have trolled him, not a place for people to use trolling to vent their anger upon here. I don't support weeabooism, but I also don't support using CWCki as a stress ball. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:47, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree. Also, Chris is a particularly bad furry, so bashing them is arguably part of our mission. We shouldn't get carried away, but I don't think anybody would object to the occasional snippy comment. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 21:43, 17 July 2010 (UTC)

== User pages for banned users ==

Anyone opposed to not having user pages for banned users? Seems to be taking up space and seems sorta silly. I once said something along the lines of "To serve an example" or something but now I think it's just a waste of space. Anyone opposed to deleting user pages of permanently banned user? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:51, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:No objections here. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 23:59, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:Depends on the user. I see no problem in deleting some of IBAGeneva's accounts, but we should keep a couple of examples (maybe between five and ten?).--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] forgot to sign
:I would agree that we should just delete their pages so as to not waste space, but is there any way we could possibly mark that they were banned when their signature is shown on talk pages and stuff like that? I just feel like this would help prevent any potential confusion between users who are banned and users who don't have user pages. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:00, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*A short page about wby they were banned sounds good. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:25, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
::That actually gives me a better idea, maybe their could be a page of banned users, with notes showing the reason for why they were banned. When a user is banned, their userpage could just be a redirect to this page.--[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:20, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:::fuck what I was about to say, the best balance between saving space and giving good examples of what not to do would probably be to do what ThatMan suggested. ThatMan, you have done a great service for the operation of the CWCki. I salute you, good sir. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 05:22, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*Well that settles it. People, you have 24 hours to make a page (in the CWCki namespace) with a list of banned users and their rationale. In 24 hours, I will delete all the banned user userpages.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I'll do what I can. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 11:26, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
:*My lord, it is [[CWCki:Banned_Users|done.]] --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:28, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Policy

2010-07-15T23:59:28Z

James Lamp-Eye:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

* To avoid altercations like this, I would delete the index entirely. Simply put, there are other, far more suitable venues to put this, so you won't ever have to lapse into offended rage, or conversely, argue with trolls sticking their 'n***** noses' in your business. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

I concur with the statement about NPOV. When i edit articles that's usually what I'm going for. The CWCville article was ridiculous and full of shit that just wasn't the case, as are a great many articles. People making jokes and idle speculation at the expense of reality.

So kids, keep the memes out, and if a facet of Chris' mind or life is an unknown leave it that way instead of inserting your own idle speculation. We're here to document the real CWC (and related fictions about CWC created by the real CWC), not to create our own CWC. [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 00:15, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*I've been thinking that maybe the best solution at this point would be to prohibit any discussion of matters unrelated to Chris and the CWCki, even on your own user page. Thus, many of the members who had been harassed or whatever in the past would probably have never been targeted in the first place. Granted, I would prefer if we didn't have to limit the users right to say what they want, and it would certainly be a pain in the ass to enforce,but could potentially prevent most if not all of the harassment issues. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 21:47, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This wouldn't be an entirely bad idea, given that I know Wikipedia has basic rules about user pages, namely it's used to discuss one's contributions to Wikipedia and nothing more. Good thinking.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:18, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
*It might also help if suggesting that we resolve a bureaucratic issue without resulting to namecalling [[User_talk:DrShoggoth|didn't result in vague threats.]] --[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 22:03, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
**agreed. I'm not exactly the biggest contributor on here, but even I've seen Delabonte threatening others for asking him to be a bit less abrasive in his messages, asking why exactly they were in trouble for something, or even not sharing the same opinion as him. Why does this guy get away with it? Also, I don't care if he's "respected by Cogs" as has been said, that doesn't mean he should be allowed to abuse his position, spam angry templates on other people's accounts just because he doesn't like them, and generally treat everyone else like shit. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 00:03, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I agree on this policy. This kind of harassment brings down CWCki's appearance in a whole. It makes us look less like a reputable source on an autistic manchild and more like a restricted community of threatening rep destruction and overenforced rules. There is no need to attack innocents just for casual talk or for living certain lifestyles, it's just plain wrong in general. Delabonte is just a person who feels privileged and like he needs to point out things about people and act like he needs to be a Jr. Mod of sorts. To be frank, this is annoying and just rude. I'm a member of many places, but never once have I done anything like go out and go "OH NO THAT'S NOT FOLLOWING '''MY''' RULES TEMPLATE ''TEMPLATE'' ''' ''TEMPLATE'' '''!" and not a lot of people here have before. It's inappropriate, immature and quite low IQed. So, in conclusion, and tl;dr: Agree with idea, down with empty threated non-mod steam-filled members. --[[User:Eniggy|Sen. John Eniggy, finishing opening statements for case on the Congressional floor]] 04:48, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Not to be a jackass or anything, but try and keep in mind where you are. This is a website dedicated to trolling an autistic manchild. Many of the people here are involved with other trolling operations and such. Lots of trolls like to target furrys. By ousting yourself as a furry here you're essentially making yourself a black man at a Ku Klux Klan rally. Not saying that all of this harassment should have occurred, but it certainly wasn't unforeseeable to the victims. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 05:36, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*ThatMan has nailed why Delabonte and others feel warranted in acting like they do and this is pretty much the justification for some of Cog's and Clyde's actions here. Remember, this is a critical site of Chris, essentially out to troll him, and so you're not going to be attracting the same sort of people to edit as say, Wikipedia. I can talk to Delabonte about shit.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:09, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Actually, I'm not a furry (they scare me, to be quite honest- I'd sooner run through traffic and fling myself off a highway bridge than be one) but the point here, as shown by your post is, is about the exploits of Chris and the trolls who have trolled him, not a place for people to use trolling to vent their anger upon here. I don't support weeabooism, but I also don't support using CWCki as a stress ball. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 05:47, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

== User pages for banned users ==

Anyone opposed to not having user pages for banned users? Seems to be taking up space and seems sorta silly. I once said something along the lines of "To serve an example" or something but now I think it's just a waste of space. Anyone opposed to deleting user pages of permanently banned user? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:51, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:No objections here. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 23:59, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

Modnation racers

2010-07-14T04:43:24Z

James Lamp-Eye: Redirected page to ModNation Racers

#REDIRECT [[ModNation Racers]]

Encyclopedia Dramatica

2010-07-13T22:46:22Z

James Lamp-Eye:

<center>{{#ev:youtube|p03W5ElzdGI}}</center>
{{quote|ED contributors are ED shitheads and express ED hatred.|What [[Vivian]] makes Chris say in the epic video above, summing it up quite nicely.}}

'''Encyclopedia Dramatica''' (or as Chris says it, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|"Ensykapeia Dramakka paysh"]]) is the [[Internet]] slander factory, created and led by [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Girlvinyl these] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Joseph_Evers guys]. It's home to the [[Chris-chan]] page that introduced Chris to the Internet at large and made him a popular target for [[trolling]]. Chris has denounced the ED page in several of his videos, claiming it is filled with "VICIOUS LIES AND SLANDER."

==Chris on ED==
After a considerable amount of trolling and bitching and uploading hideous pornographic images, including the disastrous [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], Chris posted this gem on the ED talk page:

{{quote|I AM ADDING THE [[Rule 34|POSITIVITY]] THIS HELL-HOLE OF A WEBSITE NEEDS; you just do not appreciate the POSITIVITY I AM ADDING TO THE PAGE. What I am doing is a STAND against OFFENSIVE, UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED [[Pickle|Additions]] to ANY Female Image. What I am doing is a STAND for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN Everywhere, because NO WOMAN would EVER want such a Horrific Twist of Fate. What I am doing is a STAND against the VERY THING that is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!!!!!

So, Draw Breasts, [[china|Vaginas]], Uterus, Ovaries and the God-Given Eggs within them, you Two-Inch Short Dick-HEADS!!!!!!!!

Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler, A Man For The Women, For the [[Women's Rights]], For the Women's Justice, For the Women's Peace.

P.S. [[Chris and hypocrisy|Grow a BACKBONE and GO ASK WOMEN OUT AS WELL, YOU TROLLS!]]}}

Chris then returned, admitting defeat after his tard rage:

{{quote|Months ago, I have found from this page being the first of a number hate against me, Christian Weston Chandler. *[[sigh]]* Among the number of you all, my name has been dragged through the mud, my e-mail and MySpace have been hacked for the e-mail information and random information that have been twisted into mockery of [[obesity|my person]], [[Chris and sex|my integrity]], [[List of Chris's lies|my honesty]], [[Ryan Cash|my compassion]], [[heart level|my heart]], [[Chris and religion|my soul]], [[autism|my being]]. Not only that, but the names of my two best gal-pals, [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Anna McLerran]], and my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], have also been dragged through the mud of mockery along with mine. Not only were [[heart level|my feelings were hurt greatly]], but also those of [[Megan]] and [[Anna]], and a number of my acquaintances within my small social circle were shocked and terrified that such [[trolls|cruelty]], such [[pickle|mockery]], such [[homos|hatred]] was built from the number of those who have added more and more to this disgrace of a description of my [[autism|being]].

For a while, I was angry and enraged, and I shoved information and drawings regretfully drawn beyond my personal boundries down the throat of the webmasters of the page, in attempt to kill the hype and hatred against me. But No More, I give up on trying to edit the page to be more positive, or to delete the page altogether.

But I have ONE Question, that I put unto you all, the individuals who have taken part in creating this web page, and I would appreciate an Open, Detailed and Honest Answer from each of you in simple e-mails or reply on this discussion page.

[[Frequently Asked Questions|Why do you hate me so much?]]

What did I do against you to cause the hatred against me? What physical or emotional harm have I ensued unto you? Why do you hate me for being myself in this world full of people who can't help but be themselves? I've had nothing against any of you. I don't even know any of you personally, as far as I know. I have nothing that any of you have already, so Why?

I leave you with that to ponder and ponder again over.

Sincerely;

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

After the late summer of 2008, Chris largely gave up on direct involvement with ED. Around the spring of 2009, he may have posted one or two comments on the ED talk page referring to [[Clyde Cash]], however. The first is below. It was deleted fairly quickly.

{{quote|I have learned that there was a connection between her and a state in Washington where some of you have been lurking, and that she was not found in any public records. It took me a week to recover from the [[heart level|crestfallen emotions]], but I am moving on with my life.

Also, you'll have to catch me IRL ONLY to [[troll]] me any further. [[fangs|Do you dare?]]

Peace-Out, Christian Weston Chandler

--ChrisChanSonichu 22:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)}}

There was some dispute over it actually being Chris until he himself confirmed it in the post that followed:

{{quote|Hey, [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE]], you JERK. I said "IN REAL LIFE", not [[PS3|Playstation]]. Also, why don't you be the man you CLAIM to be and face me yourself? You keep sending out your prawns to do your dirty work, you coward. >:-(

Christian C.}}

According to Clyde, the above entry was deleted after roughly a minute, probably due to Chris realizing that if he were to ever arrange to meet Clyde, he'd only send his parents anyway.

==ED on Chris, his article, and his article's talk page==
[[Image:Drycow.PNG|thumb|right|Uploaded 12 December 2008, before the new comic, [[Miyamoto]] saga, and [[BlueSpike]] saga]]
For several months prior to the events of the [[BlueSpike]] saga in early 2009, many thought that Chris had dried up, that Chris could go no further. Furthermore, the [[Blanca Weiss#FCTC|FCTC]]'s posting of new pics of Chris's bent [[duck]] in December 2008 prompted an ED admin to lock the talk page and demand satisfaction:

{{quote|MINE: What this talkpage is. If you guys continue your faggotry after this protection expires today I will lock it down longer, and then eventually permanently.| Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 04 December 2008}}

{{quote|I say we just delete it. Along with the archives | Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 05 December 2008}}

{{quote|Fuck this article and it's talk page. Stupid discussions unrelated to upkeep and editing are the only thing keeping this shit interesting. You guys take this shit WAY to srsly. Find another retard to stalk fgts|Zaiger, now former ED sysop, 10 December 2008}}

{{quote|Someone from the FCTC post real tits or cawk with timestamp or GTFO. I will lock both talk and article. Hell I may even delete it. You have 2 days.|Arguecat3, now former ED sysop, 05 January 2009}}

==April 1st, 2009==
[[Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|left|thumbnail|Screenshot of ED's front page.]]
[[Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|right|thumbnail|Screenshot of the article.]]
On April Fools' Day 2009, the Chris-chan article was taken down and replaced with a message.

{{quote|This afternoon, we at Encyclopædia Dramatica have independently decided to remove the Chris-chan article about Christian W. Chandler from our site. We have also removed all references that slander, vilify, demean, or are found to be overly offensive. In plain terms, this ordeal has gone on far too long and gotten far out of hand. We have unfairly focused on him to the point of intruding in his private life and causing him great personal grief, which no person should ever have to endure. This behavior is not in line with our site goals, and we never wanted something like this. Still, we must take complete responsibility for all our actions, both public and private. And that is why we are speaking to you today. But we say to you now that at no time did we ask anyone to lie, hide, or destroy evidence, or to take any other unlawful action.

We know that his public comments and his silence about this matter gave a false impression. We misled people, including even his family. We deeply regret that. We can only tell you we were motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect himself from the embarrassment of his own conduct.

He was also very concerned about protecting his family. The investigation moved on to his family and friends, then into his private life. And now the investigation itself is under investigation.

This has gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people.

Regardless of any public pressure to reinstate the article, it must be stressed that our intrusion on Chris' private life will cease, and we intend to reclaim his family life for his family. Even internet celebrities have private lives. It is time to stop the pursuit of personal destruction and the prying into private lives and get on with our national life. Our website has been distracted by this matter for too long, and we take responsibility for our part in all of this. That is all we can do.

Now it is time -- in fact, it is past time to move on. We have important work to do -- real opportunities to seize, real problems to solve, real matters to face.

And so tonight, we ask you to turn away from the spectacle of the past two years, as we return our attention to all the challenges and all the promise of the next century.

Thank you. And good night.|ED, in a rare case of moralfaggotry.}}

Not surprisingly, the page was put back up on April 2.

==Chris's use of Encyclopedia Dramatica==
''See also [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

Chris tried to use ED to muster his personal army to go after [[Joshua Martinez]]. Obviously, nobody did what he asked. <ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&oldid=1997409947</ref> He also tried to create a page on ED for his "CCWC's Fanart of Horrors" (see: [[troll]] art), but a sysop immediately caught it and redirected it to an anti-Semitic template.

==Chris and ED today==
{{quote|I do think it is a little behind [[CWCki|cwcwiki]] [sic] on a few things, though, but that is to be expected.|[[Jason Kendrick Howell]] on the ED article today<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/JKH_Interview</ref>}}
With the explosion of organized Chris-trolling and resulting content in 2009, the ED page for Chris experienced another revival, but eventually devolved into an article that is packed with information, but does little to thoroughly and concisely explain the Chris-chan phenomenon to the untrained observer. ED, while once the primary source of new things Chris, is typically filled with newfags that make [[/cwc/|Krapplefags]] look brilliant — the kind who believe things like [[Ivy]] was Chris's blowup doll, [[The Miscreants]] is the actual name of a trolling group, Chris is self-diagnosed with Asperger's, etc. Fortunately, Chris looks to ED to find out what trolls are up to and therefore has a very warped picture of what is actually going on.

Mostly the ED article just reprints info from the CWCki, especially in recently added subpages which are verbatim copies of CWCki articles. Ironically, CWCki has had its links removed from the ED page altogether.

Trolls and general observers of Chris have since turned to [[CWCki]] to get a general picture of Chris that is less biased than ED (emphasis on "less"), and TV Tropes describes CWCki as being "''more accurate and slightly more SFW''" than ED.<ref>http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu</ref>

As for Chris himself, the ED page STILL bothers him to this day. An [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|entire page]] of Chris's website, established in December 2009 and updated afterward, is dedicated to "correcting" the evil ED article with his own TRUE and HONEST take on the situation. Naturally, it's all about how Chris isn't remotely responsible for anything he has done wrong, and how it's all the fault of his [[autism]] or those [[Trolls|DANG DIRTY TROLLS]].

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!]]
*[[4-cent garbage]]
*[[Chris-chan (forum)]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]

==External links==
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan The TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan article]
*[http://encyclopediadramatica.com/User:Reldnahc Chris's ED account]

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Mary Lee Walsh

2010-07-12T22:18:04Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|You're not gonna get a Girlfriend, this way or any way. [Fu fu fu!]|Mary Lee Walsh, quoted by Chris.}}

[[Image:Sonichu07-P38.jpg|thumb|Mary Lee Walsh, as she appears in the [[comic]] (and in [[Cwcipedia]]). Chris draws her tits almost as big as the fans do.]]

Lovingly referred to as a "bitch", "witch", "old hag", etc., '''Mary Lee Walsh''' was a proto-[[troll]] who thwarted [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] by ripping up his [[Attraction Sign]] and suspending him from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. She is one of the most important people in Chris's history, as she is one of the few people who saw through Chris's [[autistic]] bullshit and tried to make him act like a normal human being.

The resulting conflict between Chris and Mary Lee affected Chris so profoundly that she became the sole focus of many early ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Sub-Episodes]]. Even to this day, she is still the one of the chief villains in the ''Sonichu'' series, a significance that even [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Liquid Chris]] could never match. As such, she is revered and cherished among trolls for her actions, both in real life, and in Sonichu fiction. All hail the Dean!

By early 2009 Chris had begun to express a desire for reconciliation with Walsh, beginning with his [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcon]] of the fictional Mary's name to the slightly less defamatory '''Slaweel Ryam'''. For the next several months Chris made conciliatory gestures, including a drawing sent to her house, to which she responded with a legal summons. Since then, Chris has accepted that Walsh will never be able to truly earn his forgiveness.

==Mary Lee Walsh in real life==
[[Image:MaryLeeWalsh-IRL.JPG|thumb|right|Contrary to how she is rendered in various media, Mary Lee Walsh is not very attractive in person.]]
Walsh is the Dean of Student Affairs at the PVCC and a member of the [[Virginia]] Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance ([http://www.vadv.org/secGetHelp/Directory%20of%20Services/campusprgms_p-z.html srsly]). In the past, Chris had been scolded by her for passing around photocopies of his "[[Sonichu's News Dash]]" newsletter, and she finally delivered the crushing blow when Chris was loitering with his usual [[sign|attraction sign]]. Walsh tore down his sign and told him that he would never get a girlfriend this way, or indeed at all.

Chris, being the narcissist he is, disregarded her warnings and continued to place ads for his "love quest" all over the PVCC campus. Walsh, most likely pissed off that this retard kept defying her authority, took Chris to her office to discuss the situation with him. After what Chris described as being "talked down...to RUDELY AND HOARSELY," he attacked her in a fit of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]]. This resulted in a year-long expulsion from PVCC. He was forced to take anger management classes and get psychiatric help before he was let back in.<ref name="wikipedia">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|User:ChrisChanSonichu]]</ref>

===Soul-crusher===

{{quotebox|So, as of August, [[2003|Y2K3]], I did [[autism|the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of]], I made a simple [[sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE [[Gal-pal|FEMALE COMPANION]]", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every [[Boyfriend-free girl|Boyfriend-Free]], 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or [[Black]] impersonating [[Jerkops|JERKOPS]], [[Manajerks]] and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #@&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that [[Love]] Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a [[Sweetheart]] was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS]], NOT LOVERS!" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the [[jerks]] of the [[Greene County]] School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank [[GodJesus|God]] for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

===Emails with Mary===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 1:22 PM''' 
'''To: mwalsh@pvcc.edu''' 
'''Subject: Hi again...'''

Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

-I will never hang notes on the wall again. 
-I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan. 
-I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of Respect each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect). 

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.
</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: Mary Lee Walsh <mwalsh@pvcc.edu>''' 
'''To: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''Sent: Tue, 3 Feb 2004 8:54 am''' 
'''Subject: RE: Hi again...'''

Christian:
Susan Hannifan and I will be able to meet with you on Monday February 9th in my office at 3:00 p.m. I do not have any time this week that works with all of our schedules, so it will have to be next Monday. I normally send students notice of appointments by mail, but you have asked that I correspond to you through email. It is necessary that this meeting take place, so if Monday is not convenient for you please let me know and we will set a time for Wednesday.</div>
 
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''From: CWCSonichu@aol.com''' 
'''To: Virginia_Sanford@ccpsnet.net''' 
'''Sent: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 3:32:50 PM Eastern Standard Time''' 
'''Subject: Re: Hello'''

Hey, Mrs. Sanford (or should I say Ginny or [[Virginia]] ), I am delighted to hear from you as well. And It is also good to know that you are still residing at that address. The [[DVD]] is under production, to be completed a few days after February 24, [[2007]] (my 25th Birthday...Yay).

You may be able to help me in a portion of it now; there will be a [[Slideshow]] (projected from my [[PlayStation Portable]]) featuring not only pics of me growing up, but the friends, teachers and relatives I've known and remembered (either from heart, like yourself, as well as yearbook signatures). Anyway, do you remember from the ol' class, Sarah and Micha (the blonde girl with glasses, and the slow-talking african american who Ms. Eckel told over and over [[Hypocrisy|to get his dad to teach him how to shave]])? I remembered both of them from heart, but unfortunately I don't remember their last names, so it's harder to find them in the yearbooks; could you tell me their last names, please?

As for what had happened during PVCC, in a nutshell; about Mid-Summer, 2003, I've realize upon revolation[sic] that I needed a girl friend to make into a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, so with a sign (which I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the "R" Word), I've started my Enduring Love Quest. The Dean of Student Serveces[sic], Mary Lee Walsh came out and tore my sign up right in front of me, and said, "You're not gonna get a Girlfriend this way or any way." That *&^%$ SHATTERED MY HEART AND MURDERED MY SOUL. And it wasn't just her, the Policemen Imposters in Brown, White and Red, AKA The Jerkops (Blue and Black ARE the TRUE POLICE SOLDIERS) also seriously indented the impression that "Virgina is for Virgins, NOT Lovers".

But it has a happy ending; in Mid-[[2005]], when I've started playing the [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] TCG, I met [[Megan|this girl]] who upon numerous conversations, art-sharing and secret confidence, I've grown fond of, and my Heart and Soul Recovered from the Serious Emotional and Physical Pain I've endured. Although she's not intrested[sic] in a serious relationship, I still am fond of her, and I'm hoping that she may have a change of heart.

You may learn more about what had happened to me from the Sub-Episodes in my "Sonichu" Comic Book, which I have the legable[sic] images uploaded onto my CWC's Sonichu Site!; those Sub-Episodes are based on my Real-Life Events. *[[sigh]]*

Well, that's about it for now; I hope you do well as well. And I will make that DVD copy for you after I've finalized the master copy. Please tell the remaing[sic] faculty who are still working at Providence that I wish them the best as well. I still remember Mrs. Rogers (my ol' computer teacher) when she played as Woodstock in the [[1990s#1996|1996]] "Snoopy" play; that was just fun and cute. :)

Take care;
Christian Weston Chandler, A.K.A. (nickname) Chris Chan.
</div>

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu''==
[[Image:MachPunch.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]][[Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|thumb|Despite the fact that Chris hates Mary Lee Walsh, this didn't stop him from picking up his markers and making hideous porn of her.]]
Because of all the [[stress]] Mary Lee Walsh caused, Chris obsessed over his HEART-SHATTERING defeat and had to re-invent the entire scenario so that he came out as the victor. Chris began to turn her into a villain in his mind, envisioning himself as a conquering hero. Walsh begins to appear in a lot of Chris's works as the ever-present antagonist opposing his [[Love Quest]].

{{quote|After the first encounter with Mary, I put her into my comics from the start as MY personal MAIN Adversary, with her hoard[sic] of Impostor Police People, also known as [[Jerkop]]s, and the Notorious Count Graduon trapped in the glass orb on the scepter she wields.|Chris, failing to remember that the comic series was supposed to be about Sonichu, not him}}

In the comics, Walsh appears as a literal witch, complete with a broomstick, sinister grin, and a pitchfork. In a witty [[parody]], she is the leader of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], or PVCC. She is motivated by a hatred of true love and people who seek it, making her a fitting adversary for the heartsick Chris and the deeply monogamous Sonichu. As the "witch of hearts," Walsh's broader goal is to wage war against love itself, although her only real tactic is send [[Jerkops]] into [[CWCville]] to beat up anyone engaging in romance. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary's first appearances in the comics are in [[Sonichu 0]], via a brief preview and several short comic strips that don't formally introduce her; her formal debut in the canon is in [[Sonichu 2]]. Curiously, Chris and Mary are already bitter enemies, and Chris never explains the exact source of their hostility beyond stating that she once shattered his heart and she is frustrated by his dogged persistence in searching for love. It is, however, made immediately clear that their feud has become intensely personal; both characters are fully prepared to fight to the death.

In [[Sonichu 3]] Chris ties together the ancient evil of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] with his own petty grudges by teaming Mary with [[Count Graduon]]. Imprisoned in a magical scepter, Graduon's power is wielded by Walsh for much of the series. Together, Graduon and Walsh seem to represent all of Chris's misgivings about adult life--the trauma of graduating his beloved [[high school]] and the stress of his collegiate career. However, in Sonichu 3 Chris also gains the powers of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]], escalating the battle between a chubby virgin and a old lady to an epic struggle between a ridiculous Sonic recolor and an old lady with a scepter.

During her reign of terror Walsh threatened the city of CWCville on multiple occasions. In Sonichu 2, she and Graduon create a golem to stomp the city. Much of the action in [[Sonichu 4]] involves Chris fending off Walsh's agents, until he and [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] finally storm PVCC and liberate the college from her evil. (Mary simply relocates to [[Menchi-Nasu High]] to establish a new base of operations.) In [[Sonichu 5]] she floods the town with her army of [[Jerkops]] to stage a coup against Chris and his loyal police force. When this plan begins to collapse she and Graduon attempt to trap Chris in a dark mirror hole, but are only successful in ensnaring his Crystal. When Chris later became stuck in the [[time void]] in [[Sonichu 7]], Mary seized the opportunity and prepared to attack CWCville in her most audacious invasion yet, laying siege with vast armies of [[Transformers|Decepticlones]] in [[Sonichu 9]] and causing untold damage before being defeated by Sonichu. Her evil was finally put to an end in [[Sonichu 10]] when Chris used the power of the [[Sonichu Balls]] to become Colossal Chris Chan. He then destroyed Graduon's scepter and easily overpowered her, leaving her paralyzed before sending her to prison.

A consistent theme in Mary's story arc is she is to blame for everything. Just as in real life Chris believed that Walsh was somehow the singular author of all his misfortunes, in the comics Mary really is the one pulling all the strings. Virtually all of her Jerkops are simply victims of brainwashing. Many of her other followers show the potential for good, but she herself is beyond redemption. Even Count Graduon finds her to be selfish and wicked, thinking only of her petty squabbles with Chris and never about helping him get free from his scepter.

===Renaming and retcons===
[[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|Anyone but Hslaw Eel Yram!]]

As a result of the [[Miyamoto saga]], many characters based on real-life figures were renamed. In a remarkable display of subtlety, Mary Lee Walsh became '''"Slaweel Ryam"''' or '''"Slaweel the Witch"'''. This is very subtle - as one can see, the name is not ''entirely'' backwards, and there are letters missing! No one will figure this out - especially when the notice regarding the name change, with old and new names, was posted prominently on the [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu.net]] front page. Walsh being one of the primary villains in both the comic and real life, Chris obviously didn't want to change the name to an entirely unrecognizable form (that would require originality, which Chris obviously lacks). The name seems to be an evolution of '''"Hslaw Eel Yram"''', which was Chris's version of MLW in his custom [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] cards: in all likelihood, he had only used the "reverse code" as a means to insult Mary with the card without fear of getting in trouble if someone saw said card.

In August [[2009]], Chris put up a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys page on CWCipedia entitled 'TwoMarys'] where he tried to explain the retconning of Mary Lee Walsh's name to Slaweel Ryam. Basically, the evil Mary Lee Walsh had been Slaweel all along, except Slaweel changed her name from Mary Lee Walsh to Slaweel Ryam later on, while the ''real'' Mary was innocent the whole time. This of course makes [[List of Chris's lies|absolutely no sense]] as Chris has changed ''every'' instance of the "evil" Mary's name to Slaweel in the most recent edits of his comics, even during her introduction in Sonichu #0 where her character is introduced as "Slaweel the Witch" and not Mary Lee Walsh. Chris has essentially created a paradox in his comic's timeline - he's made a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|comic]] where Slaweel, caught by Chris and the police, apologizes to Mary for ruining her good name, but the way he's retconned it Slaweel [[Fail|hasn't really had a chance to ruin Mary's name in the first place]]. Another glaring contradiction is that Slaweel says in the apology comic that she's ''"sorry for using [Mary's] name in vain and when I constructed P.V.C.Citizens, and made [Mary] look a fool for about six years"'' but on the [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys 'TwoMarys' page], this caption appears below a picture of Slaweel Ryam:

{{quote|This Mary later changed her name to Slaweel Ryam, and she was creating witch brew during night hours and sharing them illegally with the bums outside of the building; she was fired from PVCC '''then went on to build PVCCitizens'''.|Chris, demonstrating his inability to create a [[Fail|cohesive plot]].}}

==Mary Lee Walsh in ''Soul Calibur''==
{{see also|Soul Calibur}}

It is debatable whether or not Chris ever attempted to physically harm Mary Lee Walsh, but in a video he uploaded to [[YouTube]], Chris lives out his fantasy of beating the tar out of Mrs. Walsh. Chris created himself and many other real life friends and enemies in the game ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'', so that he could take out his pent up [[Virgin with rage|rage]] in the most disturbing, passive-aggressive manner possible. [[Fail|It should be noted that Chris is terrible at ''Soul Calibur'', and appears to struggle with defeating an AI-controlled Mary Lee Walsh on the easiest setting.]]

==Possible reconciliation==
[[Image:Apology to Mary Lee.jpg|thumb|Notice that Chris isn't sorry for the shit he did to warrant her anger, only that he let someone with her name run around. And why bother having two separate Mary Lee Walshes if he made her Slaweel?]]

Beyond his efforts to retcon the fictional Mary, Chris began reexamining Mary's value to society by describing her good works on Cwcipedia to distinguish her from "Slaweel":

{{quote|This Mary replaced the previous one in mid-2000; she has done a good job with her role as Dean of Student Services. She is Currently and To Be Respected with Open Kindness and Prosperity from ALL the Piedmont Virginia Commuinity College Students, Peers and Employees.|Chris, CWCipedia<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/TwoMarys</ref>}}

The article rambles on, strongly suggesting he used a quick Google search for "research", detailing this Mary's many achievements and services to the Piedmont Virginia Community College. However, the whole piece carries an insincere tone, suggesting Chris was compelled to recognize Mary as a <s>not ridiculously evil caricature</s> [[reality|real person]] as some sort of therapeutic measure. Keep in mind, however, that he doesn't acknowledge that the ''real woman'' he interacted with wasn't a horned-hat wearing witch; simply that this Mary Lee Walsh was replaced (in the ''real world'') by a good duplicate. In a very sad way, Chris seems to find it easier to rewrite reality than his own fantasy world.

Mary was named on the CWCipedia Chris's first "Woman of The (ANY) Month to Respect with Authority and Kindness" for the month of August.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Christian_Says</ref>

In his edited version of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, he clarifies that he forgave Mary Lee Walsh for her "past misdeeds" (even though Chris himself was entirely at fault in all of their encounters). According to his edits, he also hand-delivered a framed copy of his "apology" to her office, and she thanked him by telling his parents not to let their retard son on her campus anymore.

Apparently, Mary didn't give a shit and Chris was crushed.

{{quote|Besides which, that b**** "Dean", Mary Lee Walsh, AFTER I personally went over and handed her a Framed Hand-Drawn Apology of my angst against her, SHE SENT ME A TRESPASSING NOTICE! While my family and I did NOT accept it, and sent it back to her, I must say that is one hell of a "Thank You" for going through the trouble and gas usage to Personally Apologize and Make Peace.|Chris, Mailbag 26<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>}}

==[[:Category:Mary_Lee_Walsh|Fan art]]==
[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|[[Mass debating|For some reason]], Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

In Chris's artwork, Mary Lee Walsh has long gray hair and wears a golden helmet with red horns on it. However, Chris being Chris, he would often neglect to draw her hair at all. (And her fingers, and her feet, and her nose...) In the early days of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page it was inferred that Walsh's helmet was in fact a blonde bob cut, and the horns were growing out of her head like those of a devil. Additionally, once it became clear that Chris was viewing the page it became fashionable to mess with him by depicting Mary (whom he despised) as a sexy cartoon girl (which he was sure to fap to). As a result, the most influential depictions of Mary have been Rule 34 fan art, depicting her as a voluptuous blonde with devil horns (and occasionally a tail), wearing (at most) a skimpy purple miniskirt and thigh-high boots.

''[[Sonichu: The Animated Series]]'' posits that she has an extremely deep voice (a la Dr. Girlfriend from ''[[Wikipedia:Venture bros.|The Venture Bros]].''), but other than that she's still drawn with the extremely sensualized proportions seen in other troll artwork.

Mary Lee Walsh is also the actual protagonist of ''[[Sonichu Finale]]'' webcomic series.
{{clear}}
{{collapsible
|Here be DAT ASS. Mostly NSFW.
|<gallery perrow=4>
Image:126473378631.JPG
Image:12670593995.JPG
Image:127128115082.jpg
Image:184947 - Chris-chan Jerkops ROSECHU Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:204421 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.jpg
Image:37820426 mary lee walsh sonichu.jpg
Image:45422 - Chris-chan Sonichu mary lee walsh.JPG
Image:Cc5.jpg
Image:E6224fea4f4247159177c5f48e077b17.jpg
Image:Lesath-Walsh.png
Image:Makeitup.png
Image:Mary Lee Walsh and her world by Plombard.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by churippu.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by judassnogger.JPG
Image:Mary Lee Walsh by The Best Sappho.jpg
Image:Mary Lee Walsh Vore by Metalforever.jpg
Image:Mary Xmas by Scarlet Rose.jpg
Image:Maryleewalsh.jpg
Image:Mlw.png
Image:MLW attacks by Plombard.jpg
Image:MLWsis.png
Image:Mlwsonichu34.png
Image:Mlwsonichu342.png
Image:SF page 18 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu Finale cover by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg
Image:Sonichu fanart Mary Lee Walsh by baddleebadd.jpg
Image:Sonichu VS Mary Lee Walsh.jpg
Image:SonichusiteMary.jpg
Image:Spazkid mary lee walsh.png
Image:The dean in her heaven by Plombard.png
</gallery>}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=TwoMarys}}
{{Fan art}}
*[[Count Graduon]]
*[[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]
*[[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]
*[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu]]
*[[Attraction Sign]]

==External links==
*[http://zabukawaii.deviantart.com/art/The-origin-of-Slaweel-146885649 Fanfiction: The origin of Slaweel]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLCsZpcTSg0 Harry D and the PVCC girls: "Jerkop Bebob"]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZyH5Y9SpQY Harry D's Live Drawing.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8dAntFOZxg CWC Sketch- MLW Pt 1]

{{Sonichu}}
{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Walsh, Mary Lee}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Captain's Log

2010-07-06T00:17:07Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[File:CWCtrek1.png|center|450px]]

[[Image:Captain's_Log.jpg|thumb|To boldly fail like no man has failed before.]]
[[Image:Captainpicard.jpg|thumb|Captain Picard's reaction to Chris's use of the phrase.]]

"'''Captain's Log'''" is [[Chris]]'s usual opening to a video blog, first appearing in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|24 September 2008 video]]. It comes from popular sci-fi franchise ''[[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]]''. In a typical episode, the captain, commander or other senior crew member would make an entry to log what has happened in the situation prior to the beginning of the episode. Most ''Star Trek'' Captain's Log entries are noticeably void of [[Chris and anger|Tard Rage]].

Sometimes, Chris gives an incorrect date (the date is technically always incorrect since he says "Stardate" and gives a Gregorian Calendar date), or fails to provide a date at all. An example of Chris giving an incorrect date would be many of the entries made in [[July 2009]]. The [[CWCki]] has organized the Captain's Log entries by the date they were uploaded.

One would assume that he's a Trekkie (slang for diehard fan of the franchise) or even a casual fan by his usage of the phrase, but he's not. He's never expressed any opinions on the franchise either way and according to him, it's not even a reference to it.<ref>http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/Mailbag_3</ref><ref>http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/Mailbag_14</ref> In fact it's entirely plausible he's never even seen anything of Star Trek (where he picked it up then is a mystery. He most likely heard it on ''[[Family Guy]]'', ''[[Futurama]]'' or ''[[The Simpsons]]''), and even if he did, the plots and situations would probably fly over his head and he'd get bored due to its lack of [[anime]] and furry porn. Tl;dr, he uses the phrase because he's a [[Things Chris has ripped off|plagiarist]], not because he's a fan.

He may have encountered the phrase from the ''Star Trek'' game he purchased as a result of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] competition, but knowing his gaming habits, he probably never played it.

==Characteristics==

Generally, a Captain's Log video is one in which Chris addresses his fanbase, a sort of video blog where he asks his [[True and Loyal fanbase]] to be his personal army or to express his hatred about some [[troll]].

This is in contrast to other styles of Chris videos, such as those where he addresses a specific individual (often expecting people to know he's posted a video about them, such as [[Michael Snyder]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]]) or his [[Chris and music|music videos]].

Occasionally a video is [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|dead serious]], and therefore not worthy of a being named a Captain's Log.

==Captain's ''Blog''==
In [[November 2009]], Chris began [[Cwc_blog|maintaining an irregular text blog]] on [[CWCipedia]], featuring updates on the progress of his comic and his quest to turn [[Sonichu]] into the heart of a multimedia empire. He also dubbed this a "Captain's Log" and marked the successive entries with "Stardates". It can be found halfway down the right column of the site's front page (and also at [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Template:Captain%27s_Log Template:Captain's Log], and he has (so far) maintained [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/CWC_Blog an archive] of his updates.

==Remixes==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name=Star date
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDZ6ZDp3sYw}}
| Stardate = 7 March 2009
| Maker = RosechusPickle
| Subject = Captain's Log
| Video Type = Complilation
}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|Captain's Log]]
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

November 2009

2010-07-05T23:21:07Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Chris]] opened the month of '''November 2009''' with a bang, uploading a staggeringly tone-deaf parody of the September 11 terrorist attacks to [[YouTube]] as part of his abortive campaign to blackmail [[Clyde Cash]]. This outrage was soon overshadowed by the total collapse of his relationship with [[Kacey]], as chronicled in a pair of leaked phone calls that showed Chris at his desperate, dishonest, sniveling worst. However, he recovered from these setbacks with aplomb - after acquiring what he believes is an official government seal of approval for [[Sonichu]]'s [[copyright]], Chris once again embarked on his quest to turn the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon into a multimedia empire. Toward the end of the month, Chris began to update the [[comic]] on an almost daily basis and answering the [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]].

==Events of November 2009==
[[Image:IBA_SoCash.jpg|thumb|On '''3 November 2009''', Chris shows off his new haircut.]]
[[Image:Cwcsad.JPG|thumb|On '''6 November 2009''', Chris breaks out in tears.]]
[[Image:CaptiansLogNov19.JPG|thumb|On '''19 November 2009''', Chris breaks his word.]]
[[Image:FavorDaStraights.jpg|thumb|On '''November 20''' Chris called this "retarded", and on '''November 26th''' he claimed it was "constructive criticism".]]
[[Image:Gay&PickleAds.JPG|thumb|On '''23 November 2009''' Chris notices these on his website.]]
* 1 November - Chris uploads [[I AM STRONG|a video]] where he flexes like a [[Austism|retard]]. And he got a haircut.
* 1 November - Chris uploads [[Twin Falling Towers|a video insulting the victims of 9/11]] in an attempt to get back to [[Clyde]].
* 1 November - Chris uploads [[It will never end|a video]] threatening [[Clyde]] with a never-ending string of blackmail attempts. (Spoilers: He will [[fail]].)
* 2 November - Chris uploads a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|lame apology for the 9/11 joke]] he made the day before.
* 2 November - Chris uploads some [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_74 more pages] from [[Sonichu 9]] to [[CWCipedia]], introducing [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]].
* 3 November - Chris uploads a [[11032009 Preface to Rescuing Kacey‎|new video]] in which he talks about rescuing [[Kacey]] from [[Liquid]]. He also uploads a [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler‎|video]] in which he plays an ''[[LBP]]'' level dedicated to rescuing her.
* 5 November - Chris uploads [[11042009 51 50|a video]] with him lifting 12-packs of soda cans to show his strength.
* 5 November - In a new [[No More Jokes|video]], Chris finally reveals the picture he was trying to blackmail Clyde with.
* 6 November - In a [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|new video]], Chris begs for [[china]].
* 8 November - In a YouTube video, [[CChanSonichuCWC]] leaks [[Sonichu Special 4]], in which he gets shot by Chris.
* 10 November - Chris uploads a [[CWC is Sad|video]] in which he cries and sobs over Liquid's and Kacey's marriage.
* 10 November - [[Father Call|Audio recording]] of the conversation between Chris and [[Kacey]]'s Dad is released to [[/cwc/]] by [[Bryan Bash]]
* 11 November - In the moments before their wedding [[Bryan Bash]] leaks a follow-up to the father call featuring [[Kacey and Liquid Call|both Kacey and Liquid]].
* 11 November - Chris makes his first known post on [[GameFAQs]], asking if the PSP version of [[LittleBigPlanet]] would be able to communicate with the [[PS3]] version.
* 12 November - Chris uploads a [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|video]] in which he shows the certificate of [[Sonichu]]'s registration to the trolls.
* 14 November - Chris uploads a [[11142009|video]] denying offering anything on Craigslist. He also promises daily [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] pages.
* 14 November - [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] leaks an [[:Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|e-mail]] Chris sent her, in which he [[Chris and remorse|apologizes]] and demands [[Chris and money|money]].
* 14 November - Beginning his promised "daily updates", Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_76 one new page] of [[Sonichu 9]].
* 15 November - Chris manages to continue to [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_77 keep his promise], with a ripoff of Timmy1984's second [[Sonichu Fan Promo]].
* 16 November - So far, he's three for three. Chris puts up [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_78 a new page] reviving the famous cry of "OW! MY AXELS!"
* 17 November - Chris demonstrates that he's still obsessed with [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] by drawing him as a [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_79 brown sonichu] in one of his daily updates.
* 18 November - Christian uploads a new page, with an [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_80 incredibly lame fight scene].
* 19 November - Chris breaks his promise, like we knew he would, and writes an odd [[CWC Blog|Captain's Log Blog]] entry in which he claims [[Vivian Gee]] is going to help him advertise Sonichu.
* 19 November - Chris begins answering [[Mailbag|fan mail]].
* 20 November - In an answer to a fan's letter, Chris describes a future comic storyline where his blood will become the key to developing a cure for the [[homos]].
* 20 November - Chris writes a new [[CWC Blog|Captain's Log Blog]] entry, in which he admits to fucking up the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' plotline.
* 20 November - Chris posts [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_81 page 81].
* 21 November - Chris answers some of the letters from [[Mailbag 2]]. Chris also puts up a [[Rejected Mailbag]] and a [[Mailbag 3|new Mailbag]] page.
* 21 November - Chris posts [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_82 page 82].
* 22 November - A [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric evaluation]] from [[2004]] is leaked on [[CWCki]] and [[Krapple]] simultaneously.
* 22 November - [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_83 Page 83] is uploaded.
* 23 November - Chris uploads [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|two videos]] in which he tries to sell his comic to "business people".
* 23 November - Chris whines to his sysop about recent ads on his site.
* 23 November - Chris writes a new [[CWC Blog|Captain's Log Blog]] entry, in which he talks about his presentation and the offensive ads.
* 24 November - Chris uploads a [[Sonichu Powerpoint|video version]] of his PowerPoint presentation, [[The Sonichu Chronicles]].
* 24 November - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_85 two new pages], featuring the return of [[Darkbind]] and [[Bionic]].
* 25 November - Chris responds to about half the messages in [[Mailbag 3]], claiming he'll get to the rest of them tomorrow. His sysop also creates pages for [[Mailbag 4]], and [[Mailbag 5]].
* 25 November - Chris updates his [[CWC Blog#25 November 2009|blog]], primarily to talk about Sonichu merchandise.
* 25 November - Chris adds [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_86 yet another page] to Sonichu 9.
* 26 November - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_87 four] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_88 brand] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_89 new] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_90 pages].
* 26 November - Chris finishes answering/censoring [[Mailbag 3]], and claims that he will finish the [[Mailbag 4|remaining]] [[Mailbag 5|mailbags]] over the next two days.
* 27 November - Chris manages to keep his promise and answers/deletes all the letters in [[Mailbag 4]].
* 27 November - Chris uploads yet another [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_91 page].
* 28 November - Chris manages to answer all the letters in [[Mailbag 5]] without deleting any of them, and answers [[Mailbag 6]].
* 29 November - Chris uploads an [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_92 almost unreadable page], and updates his [[CWC Blog#29 November 2009|blog]].
* 29 November - Chris lights the first of the Christmas advent-candles at his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Church]], and read from the bible.
* 30 November - Chris uploads [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_93 page 93]. No former [[sweethearts]] are slaughtered on this page.

{{timeline}}

Chris and his ego

2010-07-05T23:17:13Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of Chris's flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the mall for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]
==Origins==
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. His autism compounded the problem by making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The Enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]
{{quote|He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.|Proverbs 13:24}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost 30 years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly Tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and Money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. | Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system due to the fact that he is simply unwilling to work on anything except drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|his shitty comic]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|trying to find a girlfriend.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind Luck and the Cherry Picking Fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, internet commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to Nintendo is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved...medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from PVCC in 2006, his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic Personality Disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction.]]
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of [[CWCville|grandiosity]] (in fantasy or behavior), [[True and Loyal Fanbase|need]] [[Love Quest|for]] [[Barbara|admiration]], and [[Autism|lack]] [[Chris and remorse|of]] [[Chris and death|empathy]], beginning by [[PVCC|early adulthood]] and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., [[Art|exaggerates]] [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3.believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|unique]] and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4.requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5.has a sense of [[Barbara|entitlement]], i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially]] [[Honor Roll|favorable]] treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs]] [[Wallflower|of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9.shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris's ego, right down to the sense of entitlement.

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted Self-Importance===
[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
:''See also: [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]''
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000.|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice [[troll|observer]] to get lost in the sea of [[Sonichu]] shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on [[YouTube]] and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and [[Barbara|I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention]]. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]]:

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention--good or bad--that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

===Persecution Complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he [[lie|"takes responsibility for"]] are still out of his hands. His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]], he didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]] or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]], ''and'' he doesn't deserve the 24/7 [[troll]]ing, among other things.

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia userpage]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

It has never—and likely ''will'' never occur to him that he needs to go ''outside'', get a job, and get off the damned internet.

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions.

===Naïveté===
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the Sith: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu|his]] [[Copyright|identity]]. The earlier trolling schemes (such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]]) got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In 2009 and 2010, Chris has slowly begun to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: The Pride Before the Fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] to have some sort of horror befall them.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get recognition for his art at high school graduation?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also [[Barbara|extremely sheltered]], he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane chores as [[Father Call|horrific trials of strength and will]]. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as 'psychological neoteny,' which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as 'omnipotence of thought'. Basically, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that [[Magi-Chan]] is yet another Mary Sue for Chris, serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for ultimate authority. Why he felt it necessary to make [[Reginald Sneasel|yet]] another [[Sonichu (character)|character]] to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing [[Virginia|the world]], is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (E.G. [[Barack Obama|politics]], [[religion]], etc.), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds [[Leviticus|information]] that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he [[I'm_Sorry,_Dude|may not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is a parody. As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), buying large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself, and by some twisted form of reality make him think that his unhealthy amount of children toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when in reality any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]]. He also doesn't seem to have a problem with not working but getting [[money]] for sitting on his ass anyway, claiming he can get more from his [[tugboat]] than he could at an actual job.

===Tender Misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the [[Internet]]) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and [[Pedofork|act as a role model for children]].

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other obvious examples in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters. His record for getting permabanned is currently at two weeks on [[Flipnote Hatena]] when he foolishly tried to re-upload Flipnotes that had been removed for breaking the rules (without bothering to find out why they had been removed in the first place).

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knight]]s. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get [[Chris and psychology|real, psychiatric help]], Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's Ego in the Real World and in the Comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{clear}}
==References==
<references/>

{{Health problems}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Tagged Flipnote

2010-07-05T07:55:42Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[File:28yearsyoung.PNG|thumb|left|Uh-huh.]]
[[File:touching.jpg|thumb|right|A more accurate assessment.]]
This [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DA28892A0A2_001?in=user/ untitled animation] is the eighth of [[Christian|Christian's]] [[Flipnote Hatena]] animations. The video has been dubbed "'''Tagged Flipnote'''," as it is based off a meme on the site where people get 'tagged' and write about themselves; Chris provides us with ten "[[Lies|facts]]" about himself, [[ego|most of which are blatantly false]]. It should be noted that in order to be able to read it on the internet, [[Fail|one must turn their head or screen 90 degrees.]]

{{-}}
== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = [untitled]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sR3augp4NQc}}
| stardate = June 27, 2010
| previous = [[Cheesy!]]
| next = [[Edit Me]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
''[The Nintendo DSi is flipped over to make this vertical. Music plays in the background.]'' 
''[An image of [[Sonichu]] with © 3/00 next to it displayed.]'' 
'''Writing:'''
"To prevent being "Tagged", here are my Ten Facts C.W.C. 

I AM [[Honest|HONEST]], [[Lies|GOOD AND DECENT MAN]], Christian W. Chandler. 

I AM A [[Chris and his ego|FUN, LOYAL, SOCIABLE AND COOL FRIEND]], Christian W. Chandler 

I ENJOY MAKING [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|WOMEN]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|FEEL GOOD]]. ☺ Christian W. Chandler 

I AM [[Chris and anger|CALM, PEACEFUL AND FRIENDLY]]. Christian W. Chandler 

I AM NOT DANGEROUS, [[Death threats|NOR WOULD I EVER HARM ANY PERSON]]. Christian W. Chandler 

I AM [[Power|STRONG]] AND CAN/WILL DEFEND/PROTECT MY TRUE FRIENDS. Christian W. Chandler 

I AM A FAITHFUL [[Chris and religion|CHRISTIAN METHODIST]]. Christian W. Chandler 

I AM [[Honor roll|SMART]], AND [[Nudes|I LIKE TO THINK & PLAN THINGS THROUGH FULLY]]. Christian W. Chandler 

I AM [[Liquid Chris|Sonichu's Original Creator]]. Christian W. Chandler 

I KEEP MY [[03212010_C-Ya_Later.MOV|SOCIAL-IZINGS IN REAL LIFE ONLY]], AND MY... 

...[[Dox|PERSONAL INFORMATION OFFLINE]] AND TO MY-SELF AND THOSE CLOSEST AND MOST... 

... HONEST ONLY. [[CWCki|THE STUFF ONLI-NE]] ARE FALSE, OUTSIDE MY [[Youtube|YOUTUBE]], "ChristianWChandler", 

AND THIS F.N. Hatena Account in my own hand-writing/draw-ing. C.W.C. 

OH YEAH! 

I'm 28 Years [[Fail|Young]], 5'10", and a [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|Good-Looking Man]]. Christian W. Chandler 

Thank You, and have a good & safe day. ''[An image of [[Sonichu]] with © 3/00 next to it displayed again.]'' [[Ego|Christian W. Chandler]]." 

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena]]

Chris and health

2010-07-03T21:33:04Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|Eat less cow meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and Fruit are a must; Walking or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some [[Guitar Hero]] on [[Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|Chris' advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|Chris in a few years.]]
[[Chris]], as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine could plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], lack of exercise, poor nutrition, refusal to take a shower, and the grave disrepair/uncleanliness of his surroundings, he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life threatening medical problems such as cancer, heart disease or diabetes.

==Nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|left|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of this word]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily.]]
Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or Burger King (usually with his [[Bob Chandler|father]]) at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring caloric intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. On the rare occasion that Barbara does cook, it usually involves some cheap and easy-to-make food that often is not healthy.{{cite}} Many, many times, has Chris been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water, and that he drinks a lot of [[CWC Cola|carbonated drinks]] and [[semen|energy drinks]] (which have been proven to increase erratic behavior). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* Breakfast: Usually nothing because he usually sleeps from 6 am to noon, but on the rare occasion he does eat McDonald's, or some other fast food restaurant with breakfast options.
* Lunch: Something quick at home, or fast food, either alone or with his father.
* Dinner: Eat out with family or poorly cooked meal by Barbara (although with her deteriorating health, her poorly cooked meals may just become replaced by more fast food) or fast food.

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[Dirty crapped briefs|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|ramming stuff in his shit tube]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_incontinence#Constipation</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no veggies or fruit is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

In short, Chris is a fatty, he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that Chris's doctor has prescribed him [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atorvastatin Lipitor] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the conversation) is uncertain.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonalds]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]

==Exercise==

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and Powerful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

Chris has probably never had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[video games]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight left his skin a frightening white that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room while making videos. One might say that Chris is actually strong from having a lot of weight; however, in normal people, this happens because the muscles must build up in order to be capable of moving a large weight. Since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of blubber, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise. Needless to say Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sit down to rest and play some vidya outdoors.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to [[I AM STRONG|flexing]] and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting an office chair and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could defeat both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it to come to blows, and as such has challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is, he's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWCFighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to get his wish and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the Father Call and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog five miles a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in the video [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas with a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.
{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|[[Lie|I shower Daily.]]|Chris<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}
[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|Did you bathe? *SPOILER* No]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris marinates in his own filth.]]

Chris's hygiene is perhaps his worst quality. Many times has Chris regarded [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower. According to [[Emily]], he smelled of "rotten watermelons;" [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said body odor masked with gallons of Axe.

Because of the lack of showers and the decrepit state of his home, the kitchen and bath tiles are covered with a disgusting black and brown mold. Curiously, he endorses Axe Shower Gel. Considering that he refuses to take showers and is a sucker for Axe products, one wonders what he even bothers using it for.

Chris compounds this problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes. Close perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for as many as three or four days at a stretch. Fortunately, for his wardrobe at least, Chris sleeps in the nude, except for socks.{{cite}} There's something to think about.

Unless being immersed in his surroundings for so long has destroyed his ability to note his foul vapors, it's a marvel that Chris refuses to indulge in basic hygienic activities. Most likely, it's because time spent in the shower is time not spent playing video games, drawing terrible comics, or stalking young ladies. If he showered regularly, his -45% chance of finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] would erupt all the way up to 0%.

It should be noted that in the [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]], neither of them recall Chris emitting any particular stench, implying that this is a problem that started after Chris stopped regularly going outside. However, according to someone who contacted Wes Iseli, Chris was already odorous around the time he attended PVCC. This suggests that Chris would shower for his evenings at the GAMe PLACe but not for school.

{{clear}}

==Dental health==
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|right|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's [[honest content]]!]]
Chris's fondness for baring his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, expensive dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell, in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is the result of large consumption of carbonated drinks, poor dental hygiene, and refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his ego|narcissism]].
{{clear}}
==Mental health==
[[Image:THAT ONE'S ON THE HOUSE.gif|right]]
[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto). Chris is so very, very screwed up that it's impossible to tell if he's really mentally ill or just that much of a waste of space.

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most, even more than his autism, is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him such a frustrating failure of a human being—he refuses to advance mentally beyond the mind of a 10-year-old with some ''Playboy'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics.

His social awkwardness, narcissism, and several other unwanted traits trace back to his inept parents, who spoil him and tell him life will be all sugar and rainbows. It is quite possible that Chris doesn't feel like his life has truly begun, that he is still in the "pre-adult" years—this could be related to Chris still being a [[virgin]], and a possible belief, subconscious or otherwise, that he isn't able to truly be an adult until he has sex. Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world, as well as basic feelings such as empathy, sympathy and humility. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internets), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[dildo]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always tell him how "handsome" he was. Clearly she needs to seek professional help too. Or she was just telling him that because, well, that's what mothers do.

* He has an inability to remember faces. For example, during the Blanca incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[Billy Mays]] would have looked the same if Billy shaved off his beard. In high school, he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic8Page24.jpg Sonichu 7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Many people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However…]]

==Sexual health==
In [[Jackie e-mails|recent correspondence]] with Jackie, Chris revealed he was checked for STDs.

'''SPOILER ALERT:''' He doesn't have any for [[virgin with rage|obvious reasons]].

Bent at a horrifying 45 degree angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly Peyronie's disease), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably, thankfully, never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, more important things on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|the taxpayers']]) money.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in [[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this photo]] of a young Chris, his right eye is green. He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a 3-year old girl on helium all the way to Gilbert Gottfried. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Aspergers Syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can probably work backwards too, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal, except for the occasional times where he recalls Conker of ''Conker's Bad Fur Day''.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Obesity]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{Health problems}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and the Internet

2010-07-01T18:02:54Z

James Lamp-Eye:

The '''Internet''' is a specialized computer programming that allows the transmission of data through long distances through a massive collection of networks connected all over the world. The Internet has grown since its first real conception in the 1980s as a means for [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|universities]] to communicate with each other. It is said that nearly 2 billion people are connected to the Internet.

One of those is [[Christian Weston Chandler|a fat, whiny, bigoted, misogynistic, and egotistical manchild.]] He is the Internet's [[Basement_Rosechus|battered girlfriend]] who always comes back for more.

==Understanding==

Chris seems to be aware that the Internet is a place where, once you put something up, anyone with access to a computer could see it. However, due to a combination of his ego and his [[Autism|general inability to understand others]], Chris has come to the conclusion that if he puts anything on the Internet, everyone ''will'' see it; and if you direct a message to someone, ''only'' they will see it. Chris has in the past attempted to address videos to specific people, from [[Congrats,_Jack_Black|celebrities]] to [[Shigeru Miyamoto|potential employers]] to [[Ivy|internet girlfriends]]. Most telling is [[100_2178|his 8 May 2010 rant]], which was addressed to anyone who served on the Green County School Board in the early 1990's.

Chris sees no problem in dropping highly sensitive information over his videos — including his phone number, street address, and the secret name of the girl he desperately wants to be his girlfriend. He doesn't understand that [[YouTube]] is a public website and not an instant messaging service, never paying attention to the deluge of comments he gets from horrified onlookers that definitively prove his "[[For_Julie%27s_Eyes_Only|private]]" messages are anything but.

Chris has been on the Internet for some time, yet does not understand how to act online any more than he does in [[Sonichu%27s_Edge|real]] [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|life]]. While many users of the Internet contribute content, are [[White_knight|polite and helpful]], and generally [[Chris_and_the_Law|follow any established rules]], Chris sees [[Wikipedia|all]] [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|web]][[CWCki|sites]] as vehicles to spew his [[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_the_CWCki|self]]-[[List_of_Christian%27s_edits_to_Encyclopedia_Dramatica|serving]] [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile|version]] of [[Honest_content|the truth]]. Even worse, when given his own website, he audaciously claims that [[CWC_Blog#January_2010|it is he who has control over the site]], not [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]] who does the work of setting it up, or the [[Jack_Thaddeus|advertisers]] who pay for it.

==Forums and bans==

As with many places in real life, Chris has found himself banned from the few places he frequents online.

Chris does not normally participate in forum discussions, either due to a dislike of reading or simple egotism. When he does, he always signs his message — be it a comment on YouTube, a rant on the [[Adult Swim]] [[Adult_Swim_posts|boards]], or a complaint about something in ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''.<ref>http://forums.littlebigworkshop.com/t5/PS3-Workshop/Complaints-on-the-Sonic-the-Hedgehog-and-Werehog-Costumes/m-p/239893;jsessionid=C15F46579256D040386028A0EAB09412</ref> He never follows up on these posts either, nor does he read the comments left by other users, just like on YouTube. Any retractions or responses are saved for completely unrelated posts elsewhere on the Internet.

Coincidentally, Internet forums are havens for socially retarded, thirty-something man-children who still live with [[Barbara_Chandler|Mommy]] and [[Bob_Chandler|Daddy]]. By simply choosing a handle that has nothing to do with Sonichu, and participating even a little in forum discussions, Chris could shed (for a while) his lolcow status and form online friendships with other sad bastards like himself. However, either Chris can't do that or his [[ego]] refuses to let him do that. Everywhere he goes, he plasters his full name, [[Chris-Chan]], or [[Sonichu]] in his user name or in his posts, forever certifying that where ever Chris goes, trolls will be right behind to see what kind of fail he's done this time around.

Thanks to his screwed up conversation filter, Chris has done stupid stuff and has stuff taken down or been banned from places. However, due to his relative inactivity concerning Internet forums, he's banned from fewer places online than expected. He was banned from [[deviantART]] in the summer of 2009 for posting the uncensored version of Sonichu 9 without an [[Honest_content|NSFW]] tag, though he doesn't understand why--comments left on his talk page suggest that he is under the impression that his dA account simply vanished into cyberspace for no reason. He was also banned earlier for the uncensored version of Sonichu 8. As well, despite bouncing from one account to the next, Chris has only been [[The July 10th Messages|banned once]] from [[YouTube]]. However, unlike DA, Chris has constantly made new accounts after one was taken down or abandoned. He has had posts modded at [[GameFAQs]] when he attempted to solicit money for special characters in [[ModNation Racers]] and even had [[RomanticLabyrinth|the same Flipnote]] removed from [[Flipnote Hatena]] ''three times'' because of its sexual nature, with Chris thinking it was being removed by trolls instead of the fact that a Nintendo-owned website wouldn't ''like'' that sort of thing being put on their site.

== Attempts to leave the Internet ==

As the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". However, in Chris's case, he takes this and butchers it — when [[trolls]] descend on him and [[Stress|torture]] him, he gets up and leaves. He's like a child who packs up all of his toys and goes home when things don't go his way. For many trolls, this would be a great victory — threatening to quit the Internet forever is such a common reaction to trolling it has its own [[ED]] article. However, Chris just can't stand to get away from the Internet.

His [[Youtube Finale|first attempt]] to abandon the Internet was in the aftermath of the [[Julie]] incident; tired of [[Clyde Cash]]'s trolling, Chris proclaimed that he was leaving the Internet. Instead of doing that, he disappeared for all of two weeks, before creating a new account on YouTube. His [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|second]], [[100 2188|third]], and [[100 2189|fourth attempts]] all seemed to have been directed by an [[Rocky Shoemaker|outside force]]. Of course, Chris being Chris, he never made good on his word to stay off.

After he made his second announcement of leaving the Internet, he made a [[Cleveland_Show_Voice_Rant|rant about the Cleveland Show]] a mere ''36 hours later''. He also made his fourth announcement of leaving the Internet just ''four days'' after making his third announcement, saying that the [[Kick the Autistic|trolls have scared him from the Internet, that he is literally afraid of the internet]]. Chris being Chris, he returned just [[June062010.MOV|one week]] after this grand proclamation. After talking about how he almost committed vehicular homicide, he makes his ''fifth'' announcement that he is leaving the Internet.

Nearly two weeks after his ''final'' abandonment of the Internet, he was spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] playing [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote Studio]] on his [[Nintendo]] DSi. He soon discovered the pictures and videos of him on the Internet and broke his exile to post his response to it all on Flipnote Hatena the next day, saying that he wishes trolls would stop spreading his bad reputation around. This shows not only that Chris is still looking out for his Internet reputation, but that he also assumes that by telling trolls "I'm leaving the internet forever," he expects them to stop talking about him.

What Chris doesn't seem to realize is that the [[PS3#Playstation_Network|PSN]] he [[Chris_humps_his_PS3|loves]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_video_downloads|so]] [[List_of_Chris%27s_PSN_game_downloads|dearly]] and Flipnote Studios are all technically a part of the Internet, as they consist of a network of interconnected computers/devices. So when he says that he will be leaving the Internet, he is clearly [[Chris and hypocrisy|full of shit]], as he has only sworn off the parts of the internet [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|that]] [[CWCki|bother]] [[4-cent_garbage.com|him]]. A quick check of his YouTube profile will usually reveal he has signed on within the last 12-24 hours, which means he still visits YouTube daily.

== Will Chris ever really leave? ==

It's possible, perhaps even inevitable, that circumstances will enable Chris to really leave the Internet. The most likely reason would be the death or intervention of [[Robert Chandler|certain benefactors]] that keep the Internet train a-rolling. Another, only marginally less likely, would be the end-result of Chris's terminal slothfulness: just ceasing to give a shit about anything except [[video games]], [[toys]], and his [[CWCville|Happy Place]]. If pressed, Chris always claims to be "workin' on it ([[Sonichu]]/[[job|employment]]/the [[Love Quest]]/etc.)," but effort is anathema to Chris.

It is highly unlikely that he'll ever leave the Internet of his own volition. Chris thrives on attention just as much as he is burned by the terrible strain of effort. Like an abused spouse, he may never leave unless someone else steps in. [[Trolls|Being the horrible people we are]], we'd rather have it that he stay. And now, with the [[Fridays After Five|trolling efforts]] of field agents in play, it seems the only way Chris will ever truly leave the internet will be through his [[Chris and Health|inevitable]] [[death]].

==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

RandomHumor1

2010-06-26T02:36:24Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[File:Pleaseno.png|thumb|left|Please no.]]
{{quote|[:)] This is just something silly and random; no meaning whatsoever.|RandomHumor1Part1}}

On June 25, Chris created [http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D8A92F380B0_002?in=user/ RandomHumor1Part1], the first of two animations that blatantly rip off [[Things Chris has ripped off#Peanuts|Peanuts]].
== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = RandomHumor1Part1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8431w3DPSQU}}
| stardate = June 25, 2010
| previous = [[HippoOnYourHead]]
| next = [[RandomHumor1Part2]]
}}

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena]]

===Transcript===
Woman: ''[In a horrible, high-pitched voice]'' Some numbers can't be trusted! These are threes. Did you know that you can never trust threes? See? Threes turn sideways, and pretend that they're M's or N's. And sometimes they turn themselves around to make you think they're E's. Weird, huh? And sometimes they'll lie on their backs and pretend they're W's.
Come back! I'll show you some sixes. They like to pretend they're noses.

I'm practicing my eeks!

Man: ''[Normal voice] Eeks?

Woman: Eeks are very important if you're writing about a sexy, beautiful woman in peril, such as a sexy, beautiful woman living in her apartment. She was hanging in her room one day when suddenly a mouse came in. "EEEEK!" she cried. If you want to write a good story about a sexy, beautiful woman in peril, you would have to be able to write a goood eek.

Man: An ock probably would've killed me.

Mailbag 1

2010-06-25T21:52:53Z

James Lamp-Eye:

__NOTOC__
'''Mailbag 1''', Created 19 [[November 2009]], was the first [[Mailbag]] posted on the [[CWCipedia]]. [[Chris]] only answered the ones that lavished the appropriate amount of praise on him, and deleted all the others. Highlights include Chris promising to bring back [[Sub-Episodes]], dodging questions about [[Niggos|race relations]], and babbling about making a [[Homos|cure for homosexuality]].

==Answered==
===Sonichu the bad guy===
[[Image:Freecandy.jpg|thumb|Oh boy! Free candy!]]
{{quoteboxred|From: gunterschmttrlng@aol.com

It's soo cool that Christian is updating [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] so much lately! I love this comic, but my only wish is that it would update more frequently. I know inspiration is a big variable, but still! Also a BIG THANKS to everybody at maintaining CWCipedia so Chris can update his comics and thoughts.

Sincerely,

Gunter

(P.S. I sent a little fan art. It's not as good as Chris but you get the idea!)}}
{{quotebox|Thank you, Gunter, for your encouragement. I appreciate your fanart, but I have to tell you, it is a frightening image, and it makes Sonichu look like a [[Pedofork|bad guy]], when Clearly He Is Not. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Subepisodes and transformers===
{{quoteboxred|From: Martin Witzel <ryu23456@hotmail.com>

I really loved the [[Sub-Episodes|Subepisodes]] Chris. I miss them, they provided SOO Many Information about you and I generally Miss your Presence in the Comic.

''The [[Transformers|Transformer]] movie did not Appeal to me. So I am happy when the Transformer Arc will Finally be Over!!!''}}
''The Italicized part of this email was deleted by Chris, who cannot handle criticism.''
{{quotebox|Martin, I did away with the [[Sub-Episode]]s, because I felt they were just an extra I did not need. But I will add side-episodes after book 10 of stories of and around my life and [[Cwcville]]. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on racism and evolution===
{{quoteboxred|From: Andrew Keefe <l.shavarash@gmail.com>

I was just wondering... what's your opinion on race relations in the US? Do you believe that [[Niggos|black people]] have been horribly mistreated?

Thanks!

also
What's your stance on the evolution debate?}}
{{quotebox|I feel that black people should be [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|treated as equals like the common white folk]], because we, like them and all other races, live on the same planet; are considerably immigrants in past generations, and we all are human beings.

To each their own opinion of our origins, although personally I feel it is a combination of both when you think about it. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Imposter's powers===
{{quoteboxred|From: Johnny Estes <johnestes4@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

How does the [[Liquid Chris|impostor brown Sonichu]]'s transformation work? Did
Robotnik somehow find a way to duplicate the [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] Powers? And if
so, why doesn't he just give fake medallions to all the Jerkops to
make their army more powerful?

From John N. Estes}}
{{quotebox|More or less like normal transformations, but are more weak, because the powers are artificial. This one was a prototype. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Timeline suggestion===
{{quoteboxred|From: Lea Pineau <ashtonlea@live.com>

I love the series!! ^^

But theres some stuff I'm confused about, like when things happen and stuff. Could you maybe make a timeline to show us fans when exactly plot points in the story happen!? THANKS!!}}
{{quotebox|That is a good suggestion, Lea; I will take that into great consideration. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Inspiration===
{{quoteboxred|From: Cody Larson <cody.m.l0101@gmail.com>

Omg hi! Is this Chris? Like, THE christian weston chandler? Creator of Sonichu? I really hope it is. I found this email address on the CWCipedia? I really hope it gets to you. I just wanted to say how awesome I think Sonichu is, and how happy I am that you've been doing more comic pages! Please don't stop with the daily comic pages Chris, they really give me something to look forward to every night. I would like to state that I am a 24 year old STRAIGHT girlfriend free boy who is looking for a true and honest sweetheart just like yourself...I do have a few questions...if you would be so kind as to answer them...I don't expect you have a lot of time after reading through all your fan mail and drawing the comic...but if you could find some time...it would really make me feel a little better...maybe you could even help me..

First off I was wondering where you get your insperation from? So many of your characters and situations I can relate too in real life, have a lot of the things that appear in the comic happened to you in real life, or is most of it stuff you just come up with?

I'll make this short and only ask two questions.

Second question: How do you keep yourself going? Sometimes...it's been so hard for me, I've been so lonely that I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, it's almost like I just crash into a deep slumber and have no motivation to do anything else. Having been on your sweetheart search for years now you must understand this feeling, how do you cope with it? How do you pull yourself up every day?

Thanks Chris again, It would mean so much to me if you answered even one of my questions.

Sincerely

A TRUE Sonichu fan!}}
{{quotebox|Well, Cody, for your first Q; the inspiration mostly comes to me at random, and I memorize them by writing them down for a future page or two. Some come from real life; some are made-up.

Second Q; Mostly, I take it one moment at a time; I try not to think about the negatives and focus on the positives with improvement ideas and such. I pull myself up by counting my blessings.

Keep a happy thought, Cody.
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:57, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===The cure for homosexuality===
{{quoteboxred|From: supappleton@aol.com
Hey!

Everybody at CWCipedia is REALLY COOL DUDES for giving Chris a venue to speak his mind and upload his comics. Especially since those heinous trolls hacked into Chris's other sites and spraed lies and rumors about him. They daily updtaes are TOTALLY RADICAL TO THE MAX, and I hope Chris can keep doing them! I read a lot of webcmoics, mostly stuff like Ctrl+Alt+Del and a bunch of other gamer comics and a lot of those artists find updaitng every day way too stressful. So BIG UPS to Chris for showing the trolls a thing or two about Hard Work and honesty. Plus nobody puts as much effort and thought into his comics as Chris. I don't want to sound pushy or nothing it would be MONDO BODACIOUS if Chris could anwser a few questions?

1. Are any of the Sonichus and Rosechus autistic, or have [[Asperger's syndrome]]? Some of them seem like they do sometimes. I'm sorry if I can't give examples off the top of my head.

2. The Dating Ed episode was really interesting. I wish Chris would translate some of his BIG ideas to his comics like this more often, because the way Chris thinks about stuff and things is really interesnting. So my question is, will Chris ever do something like this again? I know he had some ideaas about he could rehabilitate the homos, so maybe he could do a comic about that.

Sorry for going on for so long!

-- Me.}}
{{quotebox|NONE of the Sonichus or Rosechus are autistic or have the "aspergers" (which is NOTHING LIKE ATUSIM; look them up on Wikipedia and compare). Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... '''[[Reldnahc]]'''. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:57, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris plans to steal a plot===
{{quoteboxred|From: magiccranberries@aol.com
Just a CWC (lol!) note to the CWCipedia admins:

CWCipedia is amazing! From the lavishly detailed background to Chris's amazing comics to his thoughtful essays, it's like the mind of Christian Weston Chandler is busting out of the screen and all over my face. I know it's real selfish of me to make demands and stuff, but Chris should have the Sonichus go on a road trip sometimes. They never seem to leave CWCville! When people in college go on Spring Break they usually go somewhere for Spring Break, like Florida or Mexico. Brian and Stewie from [[Family Guy]] go on road trips and adventures all the time, and these are the best episodes of the (already amazing) show. I know Family Guy is a strong influence on the Sonichu comics, so Chris should definitely have the Sonichus travel around a bit much. I know Chris doesn't do anything he doesn't want to, but could you at least suggest it to him?

Love,

Shanna}}
{{quotebox|Dear Shanna, thank you for your suggestion; I have made note of it, and a Road Trip-type story will be made in the future.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the inventor===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Leonardo da Vinci|Leonardo DaVinci]] <leo.da.vinci@hotmail.com>

A Message to the person behind the CWCipedia:

I've thoroughly enjoyed the artwork of Christian Weston Chandler. Truly, he is my artistic equal.

I've also noticed that Christian has obtained a degree of Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When I was the age of Christian I was inventing many ingenious things from my imagination and observation of nature and mechanics. I also have noticed that the father of Christian was a great inventor in his day. Has Chris ever tried his hand at inventing anything? I am sure he would be as talented at it as he is with all other things.

- Leo}}
{{quotebox|"Necessity is the mother of [[invention]]", and I have invented quite a few crafts that have served me well. I will list three: Sonichu, Rosechu and the City of Cwcville for One set of Inventions. Built from [[Lego|Legos]] and held together with tape, I invented a heavy-duty case to hold my 20+ Pok'emon Trading Card Game Decks with an area designed for damage counters, die and such. And the [[Dating education|Dating Education]] Class.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris is alive so quit bitching===
{{quoteboxred|From: Jessie Lamp Eye <lampexplosives@gmail.com> 
I'm glad to see the comics have made a comeback, but a bit disappointed that there isn't more "[[Adult Chronicles]]" stuff. Those were always my favorite parts.}}
{{quotebox|I think you mean the Sub-Episodes and stories of my life; if it makes you feel better, they never stop, because I am still alive and well.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Bring back the Luv Shack===
{{quoteboxred|From: Brianna Ricaud <bricaud75@gmail.com>

Hi Chris,

Thank you SO MUCH for your comics that have enriched our lives and introduced us to a whole new perspective, or rather, to many new perspectives (sometimes several in the same page!). I'm a big fan since the Original Sonichu and Rosechu page.

A few suggestions, if I may:

- I really, really enjoyed the subepisodes and seeing more of the Adult Chronicles. I think they should be brought back to balance the intense action of Sonichu with some real life pathos and well thought out, written out storytelling.

- Any chance of bringing back [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Sonichu and Rosechu's Love Shack]]? I really enjoyed that section and think it helped a lot with my understanding and enjoyment of romance and sexuality, from a fantasy perspective yet balanced with adult mindfulness and respect.

Thank you so much!

Brianna}}
{{quotebox|I am taking the life-story pieces suggestions inputed before and thinking about adding them back in the future. I may bring the Luv Shack back, in the form of a section ONLY for those 18 and older, but not right now.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Sonichu live-action===
{{quoteboxred|I love your comics and I really enjoy the deep and varied story arcs you keeping going throughout all the comics (as well as the good old USA patriotism). And yesterday while reading some pages from your Adult Chronicles comic an idea hit me like a bolt of Sonichu Electricity! What about a live action Sonichu show using sonichu models and such, to be put on the YouTube for us fans to watch? I think that'd be brilliant!

Love the comics!

Scott}}
{{quotebox|THAT would take action figures and such, and I have yet to create such posable figures. But as soon as I have them figured, or I get in touch with a toy manufacturer, I'll do something ala "Robot Chicken" (Keep up that fun work, Seth Green; encourage Seth McFarline to do MORE than 20 seconds for you. I've counted it in that Road to "Multiverse"; that was Definitely 10 Seconds Short of Stewie's 30-second estimate; what a True Let-Down).

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Choose your own adventure===
{{quoteboxred|From: Howard Winslow <hwinslow3@gmail.com>
A friend of mine wrote some [[Fan:Choose Your Own Adventure|excellent fan stories]] I thought you'd like:

http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/stories.htm

Sincerely,

Howard Winslow}}

===Gay for Sonichu===
{{quoteboxred|From: Bernard Stephens <bernard.stephens@mail.mcgill.ca>
OMG!!!111
Love the comic!! Me and my boyfriend Mark listen to the audiobooks all the time! LUVS IT BABE!!

Have a safe day, and STAY STRAIG- er, I mean, STAY FABULOUS!!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Bernard and everyone else here at [[Gay 4 Sonichu|Gay4Sonichu]]
http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/

love it!!!!! }}

===The gay black atheist fanbase===
{{quoteboxred|From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins <thorgnzorrg@hotmail.com>
I love Sonichu but as a [[gay]], black atheist, I'm in somewhat of a minority. All of the black characters in Sonichu are either goofy or antagonistic, gay characters aren't shown in a good light, and as far as I can tell everyone in CWCville is a devout Christian. I love your comics and audiobooks, but they loose their appeal when I can't relate to any of the characters. Please consider including a gay, black, or atheist character in your comic.

Thank you.}}

===High praise for Liquid Chris===
{{quoteboxred|From: Steven Clark <ignotus@live.co.uk> 
I love your brown shirt and [[guitar]] skills you are so dreamy. keep up the good work! sonichu is the best DONT LET THAT [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]] GET YOU DOWN}}

===More high praise for Liquid Chris===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:David Xanatos|xanatos]][[Wikipedia:Thanatos|van]]badass@aim.com 
Good to see you making the comics again! I hope you make to to keep them out of the hands of that naive fat bastard Ian Brandon Anderson so he won't slander your good name! P.S. I hope you and Kacey are living happily married lives.}}

===God damn that Liquid Chris guy is awesome===
{{quoteboxred|From: Jordan Wiebe <greenindirt@gmail.com>
Hello Christian,

I am glad that you finally managed to get recognition for your comics being yours and Ian Brandon Anderson being nothing but a fraud. Thankfully he's no longer in control of releasing your comics and you can continue to make great comics. Hope you wedding was wonderful and I'm glad that Ian didn't ruin that for you either. Nice job on the copyright.

Jordan Wiebe}}

{{Mailbag}}

True and Loyal Fanbase

2010-06-24T21:29:58Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:SchuComicFreeBack.jpg|thumb|Spread the word!]]

{{quote|1000000000+|[[Chris's]] totally accurate and [[Chris and His Ego|unbiased]] estimate of the number of Sonichu fans, [[Common_Questions#26_January_2010|Common Questions, 26 January 2010]]}}

[[Chris]] constantly refers to his [[trolls|fans]] as his "'''True and Loyal Fanbase'''" (aka his "fandase"). Fun fact: There are no actual [[Sonichu]] fans. Literally none. Let's pretend that looking at the garbage Chris produces is not enough proof to support that statement. Let's pretend the fact that he updates his shit about once every six months, and expects everyone to wait patiently is not enough proof to support that statement. Consider this: If there actually was one, wouldn't we have found out about them by now?

Nevertheless, in [[Mailbag 48]], Chris stated that he believes he has '''over a billion fans''', meaning that roughly 1/6th of the world's population (or approximately over [[Chris and the Internet|half of the users of the Internet]]) has supposedly discovered and grown to love Sonichu since the comic began back in [[2000]]. It may be worth noting that approximately 1/6 of the world's population is illiterate.

==Personal army==
[[File:ChrisPersonalArmy.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Like many individuals who have become notorious on the internet, Chris believes that he has a sizable fanbase that adores him. Furthermore, he persists in this belief despite the fact that his "fanbase" has repeatedly proven to be comprised exclusively of [[trolls]].

Chris addresses his supposed supporters whenever he feels they would be most helpful, such as when he needs support in a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] or wants to see a [[Clyde Cash|troll taken care of]], and speaks in the sincere expectation that total strangers will carry out his orders simply because he gave them. This belief was likely reinforced by the backfired trolling attempt during the [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], and it's possible that's what drives him to continue acting this way.

Chris recently tried to play the Personal Army game in the aftermath of his [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|confrontation]] with [[Michael Snyder]]. The related [[Jackie e-mails]] gave us an interesting glance at Chris's perspective on his ability to command his fans, as well as this interesting tidbit:

{{Quote|Considering after what had transpired, I decided to upload the audio-only video onto my [[YouTube]]. I tried to be nice and peaceful. Now HE (Michale) will have to deal with my [[Trolls]] for his discrimination against me.|Chris, [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#The Game Place Aftermath: Chris' Version|expressing his belief that trolls will help him]].}}

It's currently unclear ''why'' Chris believes his trolls would bow to his requests. It's possible he thinks that his trolls are indiscriminately cruel to everyone, and that, if given a target, they would lash out against it without a second thought. Then again, given his sizable [[ego]] and shaky grasp on [[reality]], it's also possible he thinks that trolls will do what he says just because he said it.

==Chris's contempt for his fans==
Chris takes his alleged fanbase entirely for granted. When he doesn't want something from them, he ignores them. He is happy to try and extort them, in fact, as when he threatened [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|to withhold his comics unless the ED page was taken down]]. Despite his contemptuous attitude towards them, he assumes that his TRUE and LOYAL fans will keep the [[trolls]] in check. Another example came on [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|27 August 2009]], when Chris implored his fanbase to remove every last video that showed the tour of his house after his father found out about it. To this day, mirrors of the two-part video still pop up to mock Chris.

Despite his belief that his fans adore him, Chris is notoriously inattentive to the sort of things that allow a person to continue having fans. He believes that people love him for his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]], and yet his updates are often months apart. His attitude is neatly summed up at the end of [[Sonichu 10]], in the message from [[Things Chris has ripped off|Marvey Blaziken]]. Chris wants the adulation that goes along with being a popular artist, but he thinks that he ought to receive it in exchange for whatever amount of effort he feels like putting forth. Which, Chris being Chris, isn't very much at all.

Chris refuses to take responsibility for his output or lack thereof, blaming any troubles on [[stress]] caused by the trolls. In a sense, because he expects his fans to take care of the trolls for him, he's blaming them for the fact that he can't keep updates regular. He also shows his fans contempt by having the radio on in the background during fan chats over Mumble and giving extremely short, often rude, responses to lengthy, innocent questions in the [[Mailbag]].

As his ego has swollen over the years, Chris seems to have come to believe he can control what his fans do with their lives. In [[Down with asperchu|a video from January 2010]], Chris told his fans to never read an issue of [[Asperchu]] because "there are no LINKS" to Chris's works. He later went so far as to try and [[U8C43P2A37A8_y_U8C1N023V0L|brainwash]] his followers into hating what he viewed as a rival comic.

==Chris turns on his fans==
In March 2010, after a troll interfered in Chris's pursuit of [[The Wallflower]], Chris took to his [[CWC Blog|blog]] and attacked his fans along with the trolls, accusing them of breaking up his quest for True Love out of a selfish desire to consume more of his comics. "You all are just as Terrible as I portrayed Mary Lee Walsh to be," he declared, "[[Chris and hypocrisy|so self-absorbed in yourselves]], [[Snorlax|spoiled]], and such, YOU ONLY want more story arcs and [[Chris and art|art]] MORE QUICKLY than my own Inspiration can come up with. You all are nothing bug [[Chris and money|greedy]], [[Chris and anger|impatient]], [[Sarah Hammer|un]][[Megan|lov]][[The Wallflower|ed]] and corrupted people."

He also claimed to tire of trying to please the "millions" of fans he has. Instead, he explained that he only wants to please "[[Chris|the local few around me]] who I truly and deeply care about." What this could mean is a number of things. The biggest thing he feels they have done is trolled him just as badly as the trolls themselves just to get his comics. Thus, he feels that they share equal blame with the trolls just because he doesn't want to spend time working on his comic.

This might represent a valuable moment of clarity on Chris's part. He may have managed to discover, however inadvertently, that all his comic really accomplishes is to draw unwelcome attention to him. Whether this realization will actually lead to a change in his behavior, however, remains to be seen.

Unsurprisingly, Chris forgets this and asks them to [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|harass a manager]] for not letting him back into a store.

==List of fans who aren't trolls==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|Give or take 1]]<ref>Some argue that Gina, a mentally retarded young lady, was indeed a genuine Sonichu fan, but it may be possible she was a very convincing [[Robert Simmons V]] clone or a genuine [[white knight]]. Either way, after [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool| he abused her]] she's no longer a fan.</ref>

==Note==
<references/>
==See also==
* [[Chris and his Ego]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares

2010-06-20T01:44:33Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:424-CWC&SNHLifeShares.jpg|thumb|right|Dammit Chris, you have to add Sonichu to EVERYTHING.]]

'''Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares''' was produced when [[Chris]] was [[2003|21 years old]] for [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]'s 21st birthday as a present. Yes, he drew this when he was 21, not 7.

This sheds insight into his relationship with Sarah Hammer and provides some insight on Chris's interpretation of the Sonichu canon, with himself portrayed as [[Sonichu]], Sarah Hammer as [[Rosechu]], and [[Wes Iseli]] as [[Black Sonichu]].

In typical Chris fashion, it is highly [[Chris and his ego|self-centered]], focusing mainly on his [[autism]], his [[love quest]] and how everything that happens to him is not his fault. Despite being drawn to commemorate her life so far, Sarah is only mentioned when she occasionally crosses paths with Chris and is even then portrayed as what Chris sees as a [[Women's rights|typical female]], which is unlikely to be what Sarah was like anyway. Presumably, Sarah was not pleased to receive a booklet full of everything Chris cannot shut up about.

The document mostly reads like Chris was attempting to win Sarah's affections by reminding them of the times they shared to together, as well as portraying them as Sonichu and Rosechu, boyfriend and girlfriend. Chris doesn't help matters along by making repeated passive-aggressive references to Sarah playing [[kick the autistic|tricks]] on him, or by openly stating that her boyfriend Wes Iseli is "evil". This is rather odd, because there is no mention of the nice things that Sarah has done for Chris, if anything at all. Therefore, Sarah was most likely a bully that Chris mistook for a [[gal-pal]].

Chris also seems to be under the impression that Brad Pitt is a popstar, thus reinforcing the assumption that he does not leave his room. He also (perhaps unintentionally) insults Sarah's mom by portraying her as a [[Vamprosa|vampire]].

==The Story==

[[Image:425-CWCSNHP1.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:426-CWCSHFP2.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]

Long ago, in the year 1982, two soon-to-be good friends were born:

February 24, 1982 - Pisces (Fish) - '''Christopher Weston Chandler'''
+
October 13, 1982 - Libra (Balance) - '''Sarah Hammer'''

Born in the same year, but not in the same city, these "young ins" were [[Autism|unique]], [[Pedofork|cute little children]].

Three years later, Sarah and her family moved in next door to Christopher, and later on, the two sets of parents met each other to become friends. And Chris and Sarah found each other. [[Lil' Chris|Little Chris]] was a [[Chris and English|high-functionally]] autistic child, without the capability of talking for a few years and socialization. But, Sarah was a [[Semen|spunky]] gal who pulled him out of the house to play.
{{-}}

===Memories of childhood===

[[Image:427-CWCSHFP3.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:428-CWCSNHP4.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]

Memories of what was in Sarah's backyward, a quaint swing set, with a slide, two single swings, and a 2-player swing. Speed was the essence on the swing or slide, as well as a fun game of hide-&-seek. Sarah usually got away to the front-porch/home-base, and she got little Chris.

One time, Sarah told Chris that Casper the Friendly Ghost was hiding under her house; [[Naive|he believed it]]. So Chris crawled under her house, and found cobwebs, dirt and many bugs, but no ghost. And Sarah locked him in ([[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|children do the silliest things]]). Chris was sad and scared. About half an hour (or earlier) later, her father, James, rescued the poor lad from a very dark + scary place.
{{-}}

[[Image:429-CWCSNHP5.jpg|thumb|left|150px]][[Image:430-CWCSNHP6.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
Flowers between friends is a sweet thing. Sarah exposed Chris to a rather "tasty" flower, the Honeysuckle. She thought, and said, that if you put the upper thing [[Recycling|in your mouth]], it would taste like honey. But, of course the parents corrected both children about its dangers.

Of course, in a neighborhood, there is usually more than one family; that means more children to play with. There were Christy, Amy, Ginger, and Jennifer. There were a few other boys as well, but they sadly moved away and were [[Metal Sonichu|forgotten]]. Many fun playtimes were had between these four girls, Sarah, and Chris. Most of the time, they all played [[Duck]], [[Duck]], [[Sex toys|Goose]].
{{-}}

[[Image:431-CWCSNHP7.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
School days are usually the Golden Rule Days, as Sarah and Chris both attended the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Greene County Schools]]. For Chris, he encountered [[Bruce Johnson|many discoveries there]], such as a pregnant office assistant, [[rape|fun in a barrell]], [[Niggos|children of other cultures]], and the fundamentals of learning + [[Dating Education|education]]. Most of the same was exposed to Sarah as well. They both always enjoyed lunchtime, ice cream, and fun in the playground.

When it comes to the Elementary School, we'll make an exception to the "Golden Rule Days," as Chris didn't have too much fun there. In a nutshell, the faculty and School Boards did not know how to handle an autistic child. So chaos ensued as [[Chris and his ego#Persecution Complex|troublesome abuse was caused by the faculty to the poor boy]]. Thus, to keep from further trouble with Greene County Schools, Chris had to leave and move to Chesterfield County. And Chris and Sarah's friendship was put on hold. (He moved Sept. 1993)
{{-}}

===Over the Years===
[[Image:432CWCSNHP8.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
[[Fail|As far as this Narrator Knows]], this is how each friend grew up:

'''Christopher'''

* Because of a conducting Bear at Regency Square Mall, he had his [[Christopher's name change|name changed]] to *Christian*
* He went to Providence Middle, then to [[Manchester High School|Manchester High]], and graduated with [[Honor Roll]] all the way.
* Made many new friends.
* [[Sonichu]] + gang were first inspired at M.H.S.
* [[Pokémon]] became the raging fad for him
* [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] became his major hero.
* The [[Naïve|youngness in his heart]] lasted the many years.
* He has <s>also</s> also made a [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|few websites]] that are on the internet.
* He took 2 years of [[Spanish]] (Español) in M.H.S. (¡Hola, [[Ricardo]]!)
{{-}}

[[Image:433-CWCSNHP9.jpg|thumb|right|150px|AAAHH!! this guy's evil!]]
'''Sarah'''

* She graduated from High School as well.
* She found a boyfriend named [[Wes Iseli]] (he's a magician)
* She developed her interests in [[Chris and music|Pop music]] and other fun things.
* She grew up into a spittin' image of [[Britney Spears]] =)
* She started job(s) at a place or two.
* She made many more [[Friend zone|friends]].
* She's still a [[semen|spunky]] gal.
* She got a Driver's License + [[Son-Chu|a car]].
{{-}}

===The Return of Chris===
[[Image:434-CWCSNHP10.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
Christian moved back to [[Ruckersville]], June, 2000, and he enrolled into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. When Christian met the new & improved Sarah, he was surprised in how much she had changed over the years. But during his years at P.V.C.C., he was not able to interact with Sarah as much as he used to, because she was [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|living with her boyfriend]]. And thus, because he could not socialize as well as before, Christian did not meet as many friends at P.V.C.C., as compared to Manchester High. And so, he became lonesome. His [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|21st Birthday wasn't so hot either]].
{{-}}

===The Girl Next Door, Today===
[[Image:435-CWCSNHP11.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
[[Image:436-CWCSNHP12.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
As of sometime before July, 2000, Sarah has been living with her boyfriend, Wes Iseli, a magician who does parties. Other than that, she works at the University of Virginia's hospital where she checks the babies' hearing. Sarah has many [[Gal-Pals|female companions]], with whom she spends fun times with, such as trips to the mall, beach, and other places. Sarah also enjoys seeing fun movies and listening to pop stars, such as [[fail|Brad Pitt]], N*Synch and the [[Homos|Backstreet Boys]]. So, she is getting along very well.
{{-}}

===What will Come?===
[[Image:437-CWCSNHP13.jpg|thumb|left|150px|"Huh?!"]]
[[Image:438-CWCSNHP14.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
So, here it is, October 13, 2003, and what is to be expected in the future?
* A [[Sonichu (comic)|clash of the Sonichus?]]
* Christian getting [[Love Quest|paired with a girlfriend]]?

<nowiki>*Who Knows?*</nowiki>

But for now, let's celebrate...

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to Sarah!!

The End?

{{-}}

==Credits==

[[Image:439-CWCSNHP15.jpg|thumb|right|150px]]
[[Image:440-CWCSNHP16.jpg|thumb|right|150px|P.S. Please do me.]]
'''Cast'''
* Young Christopher
:* [[Sonee]]
* Young Sarah
:* [[Rosey]]
* Adult Christian
:* [[Sonichu]]
* Adult Sarah
:* [[Rosechu]]

'''Narrator, Story, Art, etc...''' 
Christian Chandler

'''Sources''' 
Christian Chandler 
[[Snorlax|Barbara Chandler]] 
[[Bob Chandler|Robert Chandler]] 
James Hammer 
Cynthia Hammer 

'''Surprised Birthday Girl''' 
<nowiki>*Sarah Hammer*</nowiki>

<nowiki>*</nowiki> All Sonichu material is [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] © March, 2000.
Email: ItsameCWC@aol.com

<nowiki>*</nowiki> This has been a Christian Chandler/Sonichu [[Fail|Production]].

[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]] http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm

A special Note from Christian to Sarah:

"I hope that we can [[Hanky-Panky|hang together]] some time. But for now & forever, we will always be [[Friend zone|good friends]]!!"

An original by Christian W. Chandler.

October 13, 2003 (Done on July 21, 2003)

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

CWCville

2010-06-18T22:44:17Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[File:Damntrolls.png|center|450px]]

{{quote|I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There [[Chris and English|is]] [[Wikipedia:North Korea|no elections]].|[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]}}

'''CWCville''' (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is [[Chris]]'s imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.

{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1"
! CWCville
|-
|'''Flag''' (Ceremonial)
|[[File:Cwcflag1.png|200px|The ceremonial flag of CWCville.]]
|-
|'''Flag''' (National)
|[[File:Newflag1.png|The national flag of CWCville.]]
|-
| '''Location'''
| Virginia, U.S.
|-
| '''Coordinates'''
| Unknown, possibly the same as [[Charlottesville]] in a parallel universe
|-
| '''Date established'''
| ''Fictional'': 1982 ''Real world:'' 2000
|-
| '''Population'''
| Large. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs
|-
|'''Political Ideology'''
| Chandlerian Socialism
|-
| '''Area code'''
| N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link
|-
| '''Website'''
| None (formerly ''cwcville.com'')
|-
| '''Also known as'''
| Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, Hell, etc.
|-
| '''Exports'''
| Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen, nuclear weapons
|-
| '''Current relevance'''
| Main location of events in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe
|}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCvilleMapProper.jpg|thumb|Sonichu and Rosechu's welfare housing in relation to the rest of CWCville. Note that CWCville's postal code is the same as Chris's birthday, and that the address is nearly identical to his real address.]]
[[Image:0823-EP12-5P6-3.jpg|thumb|The toys that started it all.]]

CWCville is the setting of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.<ref>[[Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction]]</ref> Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the ''Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville'', in a manner similar to [http://www.korea-dpr.com/ The Democratic People's Republic of Korea].

It has been argued that the unconquerable quality of Chris's [[ego]] stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating [[Mary Lee Walsh]], with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, [[Patti Chandler]], back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge [[Jerkops]] and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.

Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."<ref>[[Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots]]</ref> After being coerced into declaring [[BILLY MAYS]] the new Mayor of CWCville,<ref>[[March 2009]]</ref> Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 1 July 2009]]</ref><ref name=p32/> In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.

The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed [[LEGO]] kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.<ref>[[The City of Cwicville Tour!]]</ref> After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"<ref>[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]</ref> in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.

Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.<ref>[[Rollin' and Trollin']]</ref> He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C," but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes."<ref>[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]</ref> CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,<ref name=p32>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_32 Issue 9/Page 32]</ref> also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.

==Name==

One of Chris's [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon cards]] featured a "'''Cwick City''' Gym," while [[City of Cwicville Tour!|an unfinished Game Boy Camera project]] dating from [[2001]] used the spellings "'''Cwicville'''" and "'''Cwickville'''". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate [[Chris and his ego|his massive ego]] as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)

Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're in Eastern Europe or perhaps Wales. In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|Mailbag 43]], Chris slams [[Evan]] and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.

==Government and politics==
{{Quote|And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING|Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]].}}

[[Image:CWCvilleArea.jpg|thumb|Map of CWCville area. Notice how [[Sonic]]'s house is bigger than the entirety of Pallet Town. Also, if you look at Station Square, you'll notice Chris's obsession with the [[Twin Falling Towers|World Trade Center]].]]
[[Image:Chris Jong-Il.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of CWCville's beloved [[Chris|Mayor.]]]]
[[Image:CWCville.jpg|thumb|This is what a typical city looks like after being nuked. (Note the "SS" runes.)]]
[[File:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|Chris and his men weilding the CWCville ceremonial flag while on parade in Town Square.]]

CWCville is like many contemporary third world countries. Its government, likely unbeknownst to Chris, eerily parallels [[Wikipedia:Turkmenistan|Turkmenistan]] under [[Wikipedia:Saparmurat Niyazov|Saparmurat Niyazov]], who was also known for governing with an iron fist, enacting ridiculous bans and possessing a titanic ego. Nonetheless, even Niyazov was a much better leader and much smarter person than Chris. Chris also mirrors Norsefire leader [[Wikipedia:Adam Susan|Adam Susan]] from Alan Moore's graphic novel ''V For Vendetta'': both Chris and Susan are homophobic, racist, fascist adult virgins who spend all day isolated, trying to find love in their computer, only to be trolled.

According to [[Sonichu 8]], CWCville was founded in [[1982]] by Chris's father, [[Bob Chandler]]. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only [[GodJesus]] knows why it wasn't called RFCville.

According to the [[Samantha Thaddeus]] e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected House of Representatives which sits at the Cwcville Trade Center Building. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to [[Niggos|those of African descent]]. Voting is strictly for the Town Council, which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he [[Mailbag 34#The government totally sucks|inherited the town from his father]] (even though many dictatorships ''are'' hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a ''monarchy'', by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of ''[[Wikipedia:damnatio memoriae|damnatio memoriae]]'', where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, [[Crystal]] Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.

On 3 [[March 2009]], Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by [[niggos]]. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the [[Medallion of Fail]], which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 [[June 2009]], BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, and quickly undid all of MAYS' initiatives, before announcing during a [[Chris_chan_Discusses|post-coup interview]] that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doublethink he was always the ruler], and that there would be no further elections.

Under the Mayor's rule, [[Wikipedia:Communism|business owners and managers who try to stand up for themselves are ruthlessly crushed]]. The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, [[Mary Lee Walsh|the dean]] of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|the only college]] is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the [[Comic|mayoral-controlled press]]. [[Attraction Sign|Soliciting sex]] is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of [[tobacky|tobacco]] is a very serious offense. [[Alcohol]] was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded. The [[KCWC|radio station]] and [[CWC Cola|soft drink company]] are also named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. CWCville mints its own money, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, which are mutually exclusive to the point where vending machines will take only one or the other, and the exchange rate between the two is uncertain (usually 10 C's = 1 W).

Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and [[Mailbag 31|psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity]]; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to [[Magi-Chan|an obvious closet case]]. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and [[Mailbag|disputing the authority has been futile in general]]), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual ''law'', otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have [[Chris and the Law#In the Comics|immunity from prosecution]]. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.

CWCville has a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army]]; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. For a normal townsperson, hardly a day passes without a tank rolling past their home, military helicopters buzzing over the shopping centers, or seeing a group of heavily armed mercenaries bullying a hapless youngster on the other side of the street for simply ''looking'' a little bit "trollish", whatever that means. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on [[Chris and copyright|curious misinterpretations]] of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by [[Sandy Rosechu|underage assassins]]. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like [[Wes Iseli]] ruin weddings with near impunity, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|dissident leaders]] remain at large [[Sonichu 10|until recently]].

The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The [[jerkops]] and [[manajerks]] are depowered, yet are allowed to go scot-free. However, when [[Simonla Rosechu]] is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - [[Evan]], [[Alec Benson Leary]], [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Sean]] and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in ''cruel and inhumane ways''.

The basic services are lacking: [[Blake]] wasn't sent to a hospital E.R. after being attacked by [[Silvana]], but was sent to a wholly inadequate [[Pokémon]] Center instead. (although [[Reldnahc]] was sent to a hospital in ''[[Sonichu 6]]''). Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The [[CWCville Shopping Center|rare buildings of CWCville]] are sad, lopsided affairs, betraying [[CADD|a lack of architectural and engineering skills]] brought on by a national brain drain, as the educated classes seek asylum in the U.S., Canada, or Europe (the map shows many buildings, but they tend not to appear in [[Comic|pictures]] — we can assume they were simply never built). As the poor citizens of CWCville suffer in the squalor of refugee camps, the mayor wastes precious UN [[Monthly tugboat|aid money]] on [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|oversize novelty drinking straws]] and [[Patti-chan|credit cards for dogs]]. As of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas 2009]], there were 10 homeless shelters set up: [[Mailbag 20|Chris himself]] claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. They are almost certainly havens for junkies, crack dealers and whores openly plying their trade in the hallways and elevators, while the mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. It is not clear how CWCville finances such a ludicrously generous welfare system, given that the city's economy (and thus its tax take) appears to be almost non-existent.

Conditions in CWCville are worsening daily. As mayoral forces clash with [[Jerkop|rebel police]] in the streets of the capital, aid organizations have been forced to withdraw. While his people starve, mayor Chandler has funneled government money into illegal arms trades, probably with rogue nations, with the stated goal of building a rocket to "send all the [[tobacky]] to the moon". The lavish living conditions and the [[Mailbag 21|salary of his squad of Pokémon goons]] are fully supported by the city's budget.

'''tl;dr''' CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.

==Flora and fauna==
[[Image:zapbud.jpg|thumb|Zapbud]]
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.

Zapbuds are a horrible new invasive species imported from the hell-hole of Chris's mind. They have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystems, killing off native species such as [[pickle]]s with their weedy tendencies. While some claim zapbuds have [[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu|narcotic properties]] similar to opium poppies, little attempt has been made to market or cultivate them outside of CWCville due to intervention from environmental groups from letting this horrific weed from spreading. Aside "healing woes", relatively little is known of them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" and electrical hazard symbol suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field. Zapbuds reproduce asexually as they have no pistils or stamens for sexual flower reproduction.

==See also==
* [[CWCville Shopping Center]]
* [[CWCville Mayoral Office]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.onetruecwcville.net/index.php onetruecwcville.net]
* [http://www.freewebs.com/cwcvillechronicles/ CWCVille Chronicles]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1CIn7qkaY CWCville Mayor Campaign 2010]

{{CWCverse}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Sonichu]]

Virginia is for Virgins

2010-06-17T00:06:32Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:VirginiaVirginsComic.jpg|thumb|right|Sign indicating "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS" with a [[Jerkop]] claiming that true love is illegal in Virginia. From [[Sonichu 4]]]]

'''Virginia is for Virgins''' is one of [[Chris|Chris's]] many, many stupid theories. It is a corruption of the state department's slogan "[[Wikipedia:Virginia is for Lovers|Virginia is for Lovers]]", which is used in ads to promote tourism.

In a fashion typical of a paranoid delusional personality, Chris literally thinks that every man, woman, and child in [[Ruckersville, Virginia]] is taking part in a massive, Manhattan Project-style cover-up devoted solely to keeping him from getting any [[china]]. This idea was formulated after his sign was destroyed by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and was told that he couldn't get a girlfriend by using a sign.

[[Image:VirginiaIsForVirginsAd.jpg|thumb|lolwut?]]

==Origins==
In Chris's [[Story of My Current Days]], Chris explains how he came to believes that "Virginia is for Virgins":
{{quotebox|So, as of August, Y2K3, I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made a simple sign that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens, Mary Lee Walsh, a bunch of Non-Blue or Black impersonating JERKOPS, Manajerks and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a Sweetheart was ILLEGAL IN VIRGINIA thus, "VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!" was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the jerks of the Greene County School System during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at Providence Middle School and Manchester High School in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.}}

==Contradictions==
While Chris states that Virginia "is for Virgins" only, people with an actual brain wind up with this question: how is it possible that our [[autism|Autistic Hero]] developed a [[noviophobia|hatred towards men]] in a state where [[hanky panky|true love]] is virtually forbidden? If lovers cannot stay together, how come [[Bob]] and [[Barbara]] married? Does he imply that his parents don't actually love each other?

It is possible that all the couples seen in Virginia are nothing more than holograms created by Mary Lee Walsh to taunt Christian, to eternally make him remember that no woman will ever free him from his [[virgin with rage|sexual frustrations]]. Either that, or it's just Chris who fails to realize that the problem of him not finding a [[sweetheart]] does not lie in the fact that the State where he lives is against romance, but because he's completely fucked up in his mind and is not willing to make any changes to improve himself.

'''BUT WAIT!'''

==Proof==
These links provide irrefutable proof that it is illegal for Christian to ever have sex in Virginia. Read [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-61 here], and [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-346 here].

Huh. Seems we were wrong about that after all, eh?

==A case for state involvement in Chris's sexuality==

Chris goes as far as believing that the government of Virginia should be involved in his quest for [[China]]. Just like the speech therapy he received at the [[Chris's education#James Madison University|James Madison University]], he believes that he and his fellow social retards should receive special "[[Dating education|dating education]]" before receiving any form of sexual education. In his own words, from his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Dating Education|Wikipedia entry]]: "If I had the Dating Education back then, I wouldn't have to had suffered being a frustrated virgin for soo many years".

As if that weren't enough, Chris also believes that the government [[Monthly tugboat|should pay]] for him to get laid. In [[Mailbag 29]], Chris argues that virgins should be referred to state-sponsored [[Chris_and_sex#Prostitution|sex workers]] so they can lose their virginity. The fee, he reckons, should be set to $10 for an hour of service, including a 30 minute crash course in sexual intercourse.

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Kick the Autistic]]

{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and his ego

2010-06-14T00:10:11Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|Firstly, YOU WISH YOU WERE ME...|Chris, [[Mailbag 10#Rejected Mailbag|Mailbag 10 (Rejected)]]}}

{{quote|For every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.|[[Chris and religion|Luke 14:11 (English Revised Version)]], really hitting the nail on the head}}

'''Egotism''', out of all of Chris's flaws, is the most important and self-destructive. It is this egotism that may one day lead to someone playing [[Kick the Autistic]] in real life.
[[Image:SchuComic0P44.jpg|thumb|'''egotism''', (noun): the belief that your pain (getting kicked out of the mall for being creepy) trumps all others (divorce and loss of beloved children)]]
==Origins==
Why is Chris such an egotist? In his sheltered childhood, his enabling parents taught him to shift blame for all of his troubles to other people. A sense of entitlement, again homegrown, skewed his perception of the proportionality between his problems and those of other people. Chris doesn't completely lack empathy; he isn't a sociopath, but the internal 'scale' by which he weighs the importance of himself against others tilts far in his favor. His autism compounded the problem by making it difficult for him to understand social cues and relate normally to his peers. [[Chris_and_reality#Outside_of_the_comics|He grew up in a different world.]]

But that explains why Chris ''was'' an egotist, ''struggled with'' egotism, or ''has tendencies towards'' egotism. While Chris's childhood was less than ideal, it shouldn't have been quite so crippling. Time and experience should have helped temper his ego, but Chris's development appears to have completely stopped altogether. Chris is still an egotist because he lives in a social time capsule that has allowed him to carry on for the better part of a decade without a single life lesson. And he still lives in that time capsule because it is easy, it is comfortable, and people let him.

===The Enablers===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|Exhibit A]]
{{quote|He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.|Proverbs 13:24}}
Chris's parents are enablers ''par excellence''. There is no earthly reason why (barring unrelated catastrophes) a man that is almost 30 years old and has autism should live at home with his parents, especially when his autism is as "high functioning" as Chris's activity and his documentation exemplify it to be. Adults with far more crippling mental health problems (from emotional disorders to mental retardation) live far more independently than Chris does, whether alone, alone with supervision, or in group homes.

For children like Chris, public school special education is generally geared toward helping the child understand how their disorder affects their lives, and what strategies they can use to minimize its impact. This is a well-documented and well-supported strategy, but it relies on "buy-in." Chris's parents clearly never bought into these strategies, because they never fostered any interest in instilling any form of independence in Chris, thus undermining the entire regimen of special education and ending up with a man-child with entitlement issues.

===Monthly Tugboat===
{{Main|Chris and Money}}

{{quote|My father helped me get my Social Security set up; I get more a month than I could at a job. | Chris, taking pride in being a lazy fuck.}}

Chris receives welfare from the government; a [[monthly tugboat|"monthly tugboat"]] as he calls it. Although intended for people who were unable to work, Chris continues to abuse the welfare system due to the fact that he is simply unwilling to work on anything except drawing [[Sonichu (comic)|his shitty comic]], [[Video games|playing video games]], and [[Love Quest|trying to find a girlfriend.]]

Regardless of whether Chris is abusing the welfare system, his parents are abusing it through him, or the system itself is flawed, the fact remains that the monthly tugboat that he receives is a major factor in making Chris's lifestyle—and thus his worldview—sustainable.

===Blind Luck and the Cherry Picking Fallacy===
[[Image:SlamAttack.jpg|thumb|Local Boy Levels Up]]
[[Image:391-SchuPVCCArticle.jpg|thumb|left|Article in PVCC's ''Forum'', proof that some people have too much time on their hands.]]
[[Image:Famewhore.jpg|thumb|McIntire Park]]
A [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes|contest]] or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|two]] here; a [[Chris Chan in the PokéNews|two-second local TV blip]] there. The results are that outside events most people never experience have stroked Chris's already monstrous ego.

Consider that Chris has produced a ''huge'' volume of fanmail, letters-to-the-editor, internet commentary, and other drivel. Each letter to Nintendo is a message in a bottle: most of them never return, but the one that does—on an official letterhead, and addressed to Mr. C. W. Chandler—is confirmation of his celebrity.<ref>[[An Official Sonichu Update]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Yeah...it says here that, uh, yeah...they—th—it goes on to say that:

:"Nintendo of America has some of the most devoted, enthusiastic fans of any game developer. Each week, they receive, uh, hundreds of thousands of suggestions about their games and systems. While they would love to, uh, use ideas from f—fa—from fans to develop actual products, due to the volume of the, uh, requests they receive and the resources it would take to process them, they do not accept unsolicited game or product ideas. But they are committed to being at the leading edge of game and hardware development, though, and they can be sure that they are constantly at work developing new and exciting products and game ideas."

Now, uh, here's the interesting part...where they quote about how I can actually...go further about ch—about them changing their minds and actually accepting the idea and helping me, uh, makin' it—makin' it totally real...with the video games and the TV animations and the action figures, and...officially-released—my personally-approved...medals... ''[...]'' they say that, uh, the best way to let other fans know about my idea or to generate hype about the future game I'd like to see is to post the ideas to the forums on their sites.}} 

As if Chris didn't think his material was golden to begin with, he got a second nod from ''Nintendo Power'' for his epic [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], and a page in [[PVCC]]'s ''Forum'' as icing on the cake. Even before his e-fame, Chris had plenty of evidence to convince himself that he ''was'' creative, and not just a high-volume, whiny jerk that had pestered his way to acknowledgment. As he graduated from [[PVCC]] in 2006, his writing shows that [[Sonichu]] was, in his mind, already tested: there was just some small threshold of notoriety or connections that needed to be breached, in order to become a true media sensation.

On top of that, Chris has a huge amount of free time to inject himself into situations like the [[McIntire Park]] meetings, which allows him to cherry-pick more moments of recognition. A tongue-in-cheek acknowledgment by the local council seems cute to us, but is serious business to him. And since Chris cherry-picks only the reinforcement that he wants, his legions of [[troll]]s just add to the fire. Delusion has led him to believe that he has a legion of fans; a few hundred emails in his inbox confirm it.

==Narcissistic Personality Disorder==
[[Image:Narcissus.jpg|thumb|TRUE and HONEST artist's depiction.]]
It's entirely possible however, that Chris suffers from [[Wikipedia:Narcissistic personality disorder|Narcissistic personality disorder]], whose diagnosis criteria detail many of the characteristics that Chris exhibits.

{{quotebox|The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates [[Honor roll|achievements]] [[CADD|and]] [[Sonichu (comic)|talents]], expects to be recognized as superior without [[China|commensurate achievements]])

2.is preoccupied with fantasies of [[Sonichu|unlimited success]], [[CWCville|power]], [[Honor roll|brilliance]], [[Chris and fashion|beauty]], or [[Sweetheart from the ground up|ideal love]]

3.believes that he or she is [[Autistic|"special"]] and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or [[Shigeru Miyamoto|high-status people]] (or [[Chris and the industry|institutions]])

4.requires excessive [[Fanbase|admiration]]

5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of [[Hanky panky|especially favorable treatment]] or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., [[Cole Smithey|takes advantage of others]] to achieve his or her [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|own ends]]

7. [[Chris and death|lacks empathy]]: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the [[Megan|feelings and needs of others]]

8. is [[Adam Stackhouse|often envious of others]] or believes [[JERKS|others]] are [[Kick the Autistic|envious]] of him or her

9.shows [[Mailbag|arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes]]}}

As you can see, these criteria describe Chris's ego, right down to the sense of entitlement.

==Manifestations==

Chris's egotism manifests itself in many ways.

===Unwarranted Self-Importance===
[[Image:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|thumb|Very gracious.]]
:''See also: [[True and Loyal Fanbase]]''
{{quote|I have had way over a million fans worldwide since I went online in before 2000.|-Chris, [[Mailbag 48]]}}
As overwhelming as Chris's unwarranted self-importance is, it's easy for the novice observer to get lost in the sea of ''Sonichu'' shit and assume that he's just confident in his e-fame. "Of course," you say, "he's got a billion hits on YouTube and a thousand emails in his mailbox. He's going to think he's hot shit, like every other retard on the [[DeviantArt|internet]]."

But nothing sums up Chris's deep and abiding USI like this missive to [[Mary Lee Walsh]]:<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Emails with Mary|Emails with Mary]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Mary, I've slept on it, and I have realized that note-hanging is not the way to get attention. And I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan, no offense. I'll tell you what, let's forget the meeting, and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution, I will do all of the following:

*I will never hang notes on the wall again.
*I'll consider stopping my Silent Treatment on Susan.
*I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my [[scale of Respect]] each by 2 points (0=No Respect...10=Respect).

Please reply via E-Mail.

Christian C.}}

E-fame just adds a whole new dimension. He was a misunderstood genius before; now he's a misunderstood genius with a [[personal army]].

{{quote|III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[True and Loyal Fanbase|E'RRYBODY, IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!|Chris, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]}}

It's so bad now that when Chris meets someone new who claims not to know who he is, he seems skeptical and surprised.<ref>Exchange with the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Meet the Pickle .2801:21:44 - 01:25:29.29|Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref>

{{quote|Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't, I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, back on March 17th, 2000.|Chris, in his [[CWC's Second Message|second YouTube video]]}}

The instant-gratification, instant-acknowledgment, and instant-attention—good or bad—that has come with his minor e-fame of the last few years has thoroughly convinced Chris that people ''do'' read everything he writes, and that his YouTube messages ''invariably'' get to his target audience.

===Persecution Complex===
[[Image:Issue4.jpg|thumb|Saint CWC the Martyr.]]

Chris has a lot of problems, and even the ones he [[lie|'takes responsibility for']] are still out of his hands.

*His [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|school]] was [[Kick the Autistic|mean to him]].
*He didn't deserve that [[Song of Christian|F in English]].
*Or the one in [[CADD Chef|CADD]].

And if that wasn't enough, he thinks every authority figure in the land is conspiring against his [[Love Quest]]:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services," Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." MY HEART WAS SHATTERED that very moment.|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Enter_the_Wicked_Witch_of_the_Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens|Wikipedia Page]]}}

It doesn't help that he's engaged in a quagmire of a war against the [[homo]] rumors that those DAMNED TROLLS keep spreading about him, with a second front versus the [[Chris and copyright|copyright]] violating [[Liquid Chris|thieves]].

{{quote|It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!|Chris, THAT IS MY HOUSE}}

It has never—and likely ''will'' never occur to him that he needs to go ''outside'', get a job, and get off the damned internet.

After the release of [[100 2178|May 8 video]] in which Chris blames the Greene County's school board for pretty much every misfortune in life (from being banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]], to [[Autism|being the social outcast we all know and hate]]) thereby cementing the notion that Chris will never take responsibility for his actions.

===Naïveté===
Chris's simple-mindedness and gullibility are legendary. The man is like the Sith: he only deals in absolutes. Either you're with him or you're a [[troll]]. This has been very obvious in his answers to the [[Mailbag]], where he refuses to listen to any talk—even from professionals—about the similarities between [[Asperger Syndrome]] and [[autism]], denies that there are any shortcomings in his [[Sonichu (comic)|work]], and shrugs off any advice about how to improve his health or appearance, labeling anyone who suggests he has any kind of shortcoming a troll.

Chris equates [[honesty]] with divulging every last detail about his life. Nothing is too candid for Chris- getting haircuts, drinking his own [[navy]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting his pants]], or even giving away his phone number and home address! The only thing he hasn't done with wild abandon is give away his social security number and when that happens, it probably won't be a surprise to anybody.

His gullibility is astounding. No matter how many times it's happened before, Chris is easily led around by trolls promising [[china]] or threatening [[Sonichu]]. The earlier trolling schemes, such as [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Jimmy Hill]], got Chris to jump through hoops and exposed so much information about Chris and his personality that they had to start a [[CWCki|wiki]] to keep track of it all.

In 2009 and 2010, Chris has slowly begun to "learn" to distrust trolls or to keep more of his [[PSN|information]] secure. However, many of his trolls believe this is akin to putting a shock collar on an animal. Eventually, in order to stop being shocked (not because they actually understand or care) an animal will start doing as it is told.

===Hubris: The Pride Before the Fall===
[[Image:NeitherOfUs.jpg|thumb|It's fair to say that Chris is a narcissist.]]
{{quote|I'd say... I'd say I'm all around. You see, the problem is that I have too many skills that I am good at. You might say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none.|Chris, [[Mumble 3|right about that last part]]}}
Numerous times, Chris has shown that he believes he has powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal [[slow-in-the-minds|autistics]]. In fact, this attitude has transcended self-confidence and erupted into full-blown hubris: Chris is convinced that his [[Chris and writing|writing]], [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys|musical]] [[Guitar Hero|talents]], and [[Chris and art|art]] are not just competitive with his peers, but clearly superior.

And he doesn't just have the power to create: his is also the power to destroy. This line of thinking is exemplified by Chris's acceptance that [[Ryan Cash]] committed suicide just because he withheld ''Sonichu'' updates, and would worsen when he believed that his [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] actually caused [[Liquid Chris]] to have some sort of horror befall him.

But those are just the most insane moments of cognitive dissonance. What about the time he went into hysterics when he didn't get a recognition for his art?

{{quote|I should have been Highly Recognized for my ARTISTIC TALENTS I showed in my Many Art Classes for the Award Ceremonies before Graduation Day. I felt crestfallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my Talents. I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|Chris, on his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Graduation|Wikipedia page]]}}

Or his reaction to losing the [[Adam Stackhouse|Parappa Contest]]?

{{quote|So that SWORN ON MY AUTISM, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED TO THE SEVEN PEOPLE OF THOSE FOUR VIDEOS!!!!|Chris, on the [http://web.archive.org/web/20070830114517/http://sonichuchandler.tripod.com/cwcson.htm Sonichu Site]}}
[[Image:How chris sees himself.jpg|thumb|What Chris sees when he looks in the mirror.]]
All of the above is consistent with the behavior of small children, who, isolated from the real world by a lack of comprehension and limited mobility, believe themselves to be godlike beings. This belief is gradually destroyed as the child goes to school and encounters outside authority, leading to their acknowledgment of the fact that they are, in fact, ordinary people. Of course, since Chris is not only autistic but also extremely sheltered, he still manages to cling to this belief by focusing on specific aspects of his life and constructing [[CWCville|elaborate fantasy worlds]]. This is also probably why he sees mundane chores as horrific trials of strength and will. In psychological terms, this can be referred to as 'psychological neoteny,' which is basically the retention of juvenile traits well into physical maturity.

Also consistent with his childlike mindset is his apparent belief that he has supernatural powers. In Freudian terms, this is referred to as 'omnipotence of thought'. Basically, Chris cherry-picks elements of his life in order to validate his fantasy of control, which is more systematically displayed in the Sonichu comics. Taking this into consideration, it's likely that Magi-chan is yet another Mary Sue for Chris (which adds more fuel to certain theories), serving as a kind of avatar for his desire for authority. Why he felt it necessary to make another character to fill this role is unclear, considering he's already established [[Chris-chan Sonichu|himself]] as the one true God of [[CWCville]].

Another aspect of Chris's arrogance, and again caused by his childish way of viewing the world, is visible in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|a phone call]] with [[Asperchu|Alec]]. In the call it is obvious Chris does not follow a mature procedure for developing a stance on issues. Where normally an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue, Chris does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (E.G. Politics, religion, etc), Chris has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. For example, Chris has decided [[homos]] are bad, so he selectively finds information that backs up his stance on the matter and ignores anything anyone will tell him about why his homophobia is bad and makes him a bad person. He will then go as far as to pretend he can [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|cure homosexuality]] with his own blood. Unless disliking homosexuals means he may [[I'm_Sorry,_Dude|not get laid]].

This is most obvious when he takes two contrary positions about a similar topic. The obvious example of this is Chris's understanding of the way [[parody]] functions. Chris will defend his right to make Sonichu to the hilt by claiming it is a [[Parody#Hypocrisy|parody]], but he then states that Asperchu is a bad thing because it is a parody. As you can see, Chris has decided that he has every right to make Sonichu so he backs this up with statements about his right to parody existing trademarked characters, but conversely he has decided Asperchu is bad, so he supports this position by stating it is a parody of his legitimate work.

===Materialism===

{{quote|I want Julie! Yeah, love is my first priority, but then- but then I want my stuff back!|Chris, caring more about his precious PSN Account and Sonichu website, more than his [[troll|sweetheart]].}}

It is clear that Chris is a materialist (a common symptom of Narcissism), buying large amounts of crap that make him feel good about himself, and by some twisted form of reality make him think that his unhealthy amount of children toys might attract a [[sweetheart]], when in reality any human being would clearly see that this man is [[Naïve|delusional]].

===Tender Misanthropy===

A "tender misanthrope" is, by definition, "someone who despises humanity in general, but is ever ready to make an exception for the ''real'' people". In other words, an egotist who pretends to be benevolent. While it's obvious that Chris is an egotist, he truly believes that he's benevolent. He is the perfect example of a tender misanthrope, screaming death threats at what he knows of humanity (seeing as the only social contact he gets is from the Internet) while also believing that he is a kind, loving person who can [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|give advice]] and act as a role model for children.

Another part of the definition states that "a tender misanthrope feels certain of being able to love real people if only they could be found - or, failing that, [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|to transform existing false people into idealized ''real'' people]] through social and political programs of the tender misanthrope's own making". The way that Chris treats [[homos]], seeing as he hates them all ([[Mailbag_53#Well,_that_makes_everything_better!|no matter what he says]]) and wants to turn them straight by placing them into co-ed prisons, reprogramming them into straights via concentration camps, or by creating a vaccine that "cures" homosexuality, certainly fits this description. The fact that he also generalizes trolls as homos also supports this. If that does not convince you that Chris feels he can make people into what he can emotionally attach himself to, there are also other [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up|obvious examples]] in his unique delivery of his intentions.

===Disregard of rules of conduct online===

{{quote|DO NOT DELETE, NOR CENSOR, MY BOMBASTIC PROTEST!!!!!!|Chris, in [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#4 September|Encyclopedia Dramatica]]}}

Chris has little regard for the rules of online communities; when he joins up on websites, he tends to do things his way. He assumes that his own niche in these websites is under his absolute control: for example, he assumed that [[Wikipedia]] would allow him to post anything on his personal user page, or that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] would remove material critical to him if he just asked not-so-nicely. Sites like [[deviantART]] and [[YouTube]] allow community participation; Chris simply disallowed comments, or later on, just ignored every comment he received. Chris also assumes that when other people host websites for him (in case of [[CWCipedia]]), he's given the final say on all matters.

==War against the ego==
One of the main forces opposing Chris's ego are the [[white knights]]. These [[slow-in-the-minds|misguided souls]] have attempted to get Chris to understand that what he's doing is ridiculous and that he needs to grow up. Instead, he brushed them all aside, assuring himself that he was [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]], and could do no wrong. One of the more popular white knights, [[Vivian Gee]], became a troll when she couldn't get through to Chris.

When asked to get real, psychiatric help, Chris has said that his church counselor, [[Rocky Shoemaker]], is enough for him, and that she could do so much more than someone with ''an actual degree in that field.'' He seems to believe that because her title includes the word "counselor," she is every bit as qualified as a real doctor (the fact that most pastoral counselors see people for free probably helps as well, since Chris would never spend part of his precious [[monthly tugboat]] on something useful when there are [[video games]] to buy).

==Examples of Chris's Ego in the Real World and in the Comic==
[[Image:SchuComic8P68.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Jiggliami]] sums it up nicely]]
{{Main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
{{clear}}
==References==
<references/>

{{Health problems}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Asperger syndrome

2010-05-24T21:43:06Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|Aspergers is Nothing At All Like [[Autism]]. I have stated this Fact over and over again in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise. I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are Anything to Full Similar.|The great Christian Weston Chandler, who [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|obviously knows more about the relation between Asperger's syndome and autism]] than actual scientists and psychiatrists who study it.}}

[[Image:CWCASPIE.JPG|thumb|People with Asperger's are frequently called "Aspies"]]

[[Chris]] has an extremely warped and inconsistent view of '''Asperger's syndrome'''. He varies between outright denying that it is part of the [[autism]] spectrum, to idiotically confusing it with Alzheimer's Disease. You know, since both sound German. Like [[duck|bratwurst]]. He also believes people with Asperger's are [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|"stealing the limelight from us autistics."]]

==Background==
Asperger syndrome is a social disorder that is considered by some to fall within the autism spectrum. Its symptoms are similar to those seen in high-functioning autism cases like Chris (although, unlike him, people with Asperger syndrome are generally marked by above-average intelligence).

Because many laypersons regard Asperger's and HFA to be essentially interchangeable and identical, and because the slang term "aspie" (short for "Asperger's", obviously) is often used to describe anyone with a disorder along the autism spectrum, newcomers to the Chris-chan phenomenon sometimes assume that he has and/or claims to have Asperger's. A few people even jump to the conclusion that, like some people who claim to have Asperger's, Chris is self-diagnosed.

However, Chris is easily offended by the suggestion that Asperger syndrome is even remotely similar to autism.

==Chris on Asperger's==
For some time, Chris referred to Asperger's as a disorder that affects the memory: [[IRC (02 January 2009)|on IRC]], in his online [[Quizzes#Autism Quiz|Autism Quiz]], in the [[Sonichu 1 Official Videobook]], and in his [[Mailbag]] on [[CWCipedia]], among other places. It appeared as if Chris was confusing Asperger's with Alzheimer's disease, an easy enough mistake for someone as stupid as he is to make.

Not long after Chris began answering the Mailbag, Asperger's became a recurring topic in the column. Numerous e-mails doggedly attempted to correct his misconceptions, while in his replies Chris became much more defensive and much less consistent in his arguments about why Asperger's is so different from autism. Eventually, he decided to settle the issue with a [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|spectacularly butthurt essay]], revealing the real reason Asperger's "grinds his gears."

{{Quote|And those with Aspergers DARE try to take the Shine and Limelight AWAY from us Autistic people, not only with their "Social Flaws" and such possibly similar traits to Autism. But to SHUN us Autistics by being BETTER Communicatively and Mentally than us.|Chris, claiming that people with Asperger's are out to steal his autistic thunder.}}

In short, Chris doesn't understand what differences between his condition and Asperger's syndrome may or may not exist, and more to the point, he doesn't care. He simply feels that people with Asperger's are receiving some measure of the attention and sympathy that [[Chris and his ego|he deserves]] instead. Naturally, [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] ensues. In [[Mailbag 19]] he even admits that the first thing he thinks of when he hears the term Aspergers is "Competing Retards."

As per his adamance that HFA and Aspergers are completely unrelated, Chris also point blank refuses to acknowledge scientific research that contradicts his statements of so-called fact; indeed, he eventually began totally ignoring any [[Mailbag]] entries that included references to such papers. It is interesting to note that he will defend his opinions on the matter quite solidly, he also appears to think that his opinion is essentially the final say in the matter.

Chris's belief that he is somehow representing his fellow autistics in some sort of tribal conflict against people with Asperger's is entertaining on a couple of levels. For one thing, any such rivalry is nothing but a figment of his overactive imagination, not shared by most people on the autistic spectrum. For another, autistics who've been exposed to Chris universally regard him as a revolting embarrassment to other people with the same condition.

He's also just kind of bothered by the fact that it sounds kind of like "ass burgers":

{{Quote|I refuse to let something that has a name that sounds like a bad cut of meat and is NOT as Special as us take our light away.| Chris, in an [[Jackie e-mails|e-mail to Jackie.]]}}

==Chris versus Autism Awareness Month==
{{main|Autism Awareness E-mails}}

In [[April 2010]], Chris uploaded his own version of a web ad for Autism Awareness Month to the CWCipedia. It featured another short rant in which he once again stated his belief that Asperger's has nothing to do with autism, and thus shouldn't receive any extra awareness.

This led a well-meaning volunteer worker to write him and try to correct his misconceptions. She didn't succeed, but their conversation does reveal Chris making some bizarrely contradictory statements, even by his standards. Among other things, he says that the notion of a total disconnect between Asperger's and autism is entirely his own invention, and nobody else led him to that conclusion...but that doesn't stop it from being an indisputable fact.

{{quote|For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea. I will NEVER conform to such a blasphemous link of any kind between the two.|Chris, defining [[Chris and reality|reality]] according to his whim as usual.}}

==Real differences between Asperger's and autism==
According to Chris, having Asperger's is [[Chris and Anger|NOTHING LIKE AUTISM GET IT THROUGH YOUR DANG DIRTY SKULLS]]! Of course we don't have to take Chris's word for it and we would be clinically insane if we did. People that are far more qualified than him have done some research on the matter and the results may be considered not entirely surprising.

'''Spoiler''': Chris couldn't be more wrong if he tried. Srsly.<ref>[http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:0eVuokPKvMoJ:www.sacramentoasis.com/docs/8-22-03/as_%26_hfa.pdf+difference+asperger+autism&hl=nl&gl=nl&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShq7bXfr0kKmJZJO041e8U6YGlrx0bwKzBzXWh0tJHAWrIe024G57KwzsmIjUW5rrsNhXUr7ld4nVUWIMJRXFXzoIUksEVD8GBb7t_FhNriLnFJp5vcrfkd_tLlmUqFsY3gDCxL&sig=AHIEtbRUV1TCXswi1U77qGwN-mVIUHVG3w Study by renowned autism researcher Tony Attwood]</ref>

{{quotebox|There has been research comparing the cognitive profile of adolescents with autism and Asperger's syndrome. The studies have examined the cognitive profile of what may becalled 'High Functioning Autism', that is children with a diagnosis of autism with an Intelligence Quotient in the normal range, i.e. above 70. The term High Functioning Autism has been used in the past to describe children who had the classic signs of autism in early childhood but as they developed, formal testing of their cognitive skills indicated a greater degree of intellectual ability with greater social and adaptive behaviour skills than are usual with children with autism. Their clinical outcome was better than expected. The cognitive abilities of this group of children were then compared to the cognitive profile of children with Asperger's syndrome, who did not have a history of early cognitive or language delay. The results of the research has not established a distinct and consistent profile for each group. It was found that only a minority of each diagnostic group showed a characteristic profile.

Clinical experience and research has confirmed that in terms of the child's behavioural profile, children and adults with High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome have a very similar presentation. Both groups benefit from the same behavioural treatment programs. The recommendations from clinicians and academics for treatment for both High Functioning Autism and Asperger's syndrome are the same. Clinicians have noted that as the clinical picture of Pervasive Developmental Disorders or Autistic Spectrum Disorders changes over time, a child may receive a diagnosis of severe autism or High Functioning Autism at one point in their developmental history and Asperger's syndrome at a later stage.

In short, the research and clinical experience would suggest that there is no clear evidence that they are different disorders. Their similarities are greater than their differences.}}

Perhaps the leading irony of Chris's crusade against Asperger's is that he probably has Asperger's himself. The only real difference between a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" and "Asperger's" is the time at which the diagnosis was made. Asperger's syndrome was first added to the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1994, and it wasn't until the 2000s that it gained substantial recognition among professionals. Chris happens to have made "high-functioning autism" a cornerstone of his identity because that's the diagnosis he received as a child in the late 1980s. If he'd been born two decades later, though, it is quite likely he'd have wound up diagnosed with the Asperger's label he so fiercely detests. In which case, that article he wrote would probably be ranting about the autistics trying to steal his aspie thunder.

Additionally, as of early 2010, the American Psychological Association has suggested no longer referring to Asperger's syndrome under [[wikipedia:DSM-V|the DSM-V]], due for publication in 2013. Instead, what are now referred to as Asperger's syndrome, autism, and PDD-NOS—already widely understood to be related conditions—will be referred to as just autism spectrum disorders, further cementing the connection between the two. <ref>[http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jdKqvb7DZsuRpnh8NnrTnV2DJIlgD9DP3S0O1 Changes proposed in how psychiatrists diagnose]</ref>

TL;DR: Autism and Asperger's are so similar even people trained to diagnose them have trouble telling the difference. And, in fact, there may be ''no'' difference.

==See also==
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]

List of Chris's lies

2010-05-23T21:25:10Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], '''lying''' in [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face.

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. going to Redmond). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his actions (e.g. drawing a [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|rule 34]] of [[Megan]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bold-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest content|True and Honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie," a lie said out of courtesy to avoid offending people with the uncomfortable truth. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic]] brain that it is OK to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining Honest.

This list serves to document all of Chris's blatant falsehoods. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==

*Chris claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], which is impossible since her ultimate descendant is the '''virgin''' Queen Elizabeth.

*In a Mumble chat, he lied and said that nude photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite the fact that he consented to these photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]] where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13]], he denies that he ever said anything about a Chloe.

*In the infamous [[IRC (21 January 2009)|Clyde-raped-Panda chat]], Chris states, "My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises. I am with [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True Sweetheart...and I am not a man who goes back on his promises." Chris then proceeded to give her up to [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] over a matter of days, and then quickly became involved with [[Julie]].

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>

*In his [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|13 September 2009]] video, he says he personally talked to Sega of America and was told Project Needlemouse (or as he calls it, Needlenose) was a new Sonic game, and not a Sonichu game. Ignoring Chris's track record for honest interaction with video game representatives, the truth of the game was not revealed until 4 February 2010 where it was revealed to be ''Sonic the Hedgehog 4''. The idea that Sega would tell a greasy virgin manchild who rips off their intellectual property what the game is and not anyone else is 100% bullshit.

*Chris claimed that the [[DVD]] that trolls procured wasn't the "director's cut,"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]</ref> yet the DVD had all the features that had been described before trolls even came into contact with Chris. More so, when the alleged "director's cut" was shown on video, the DVD itself clearly had "Director's Cut" scribbled in with a Sharpie, suggesting that Chris altered it in an attempt to back up his lie.

*Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the Medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.

*When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceed to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.

*While Chris has certainly called the police on the occasional troll or two, Chris will [[CCWC's_Final_Warning_to_the_Second_CWC|warn trolls]] that he has unleashed the full fury of the FBI and/or [[CWC_-_Exposing_Jeff|police detectives]] on them. When he wants to be really intimidating, he'll say they are [[10142009|"his detectives"]] as if he is in direct command of them. However, people smarter than Chris (that is to say, all people) know that Chris is totally bluffing, as neither the FBI nor even small-town police detectives are going to waste their time and resources trying to track down someone who said mean things about Chris over the intertubes when there are no end of serious felonies in need of investigating.

*Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The Game Place]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely.

*In an email,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] -- 'Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, "I Love You" to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me.'</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.

*After Chris pissed off Megan by posting [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] he proceeded to apologize to her [[Megan E-mails|via e-mail]], claiming he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|"sorry for hurting [her]"]] and that he was [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"sorry for uploading the drawing"]], saying to her [[Megan E-mails#Chris does not regret the Meganporn|"I've learned from my mistakes"]]. He later proved he felt no remorse for the drawing by [[ShecameforCWC.JPG#Today|reuploading the picture]] for use in [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], citing the need for "sexy pictures for a sexy website."

*Chris claims that he is the descendant of [[Daniel Weston]], one of the pilgrims on board the Mayflower. This is obviously not true, because according to all known passenger lists, there was no man named Daniel Weston on the ship.<ref>[http://www.pilgrimhall.org/mayfpass.htm A list of all passengers on the Mayflower from a guy who was actually there]</ref>

*He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]]</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>

*In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.

*Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

*Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYAAc9zAVQw backfired horribly], Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the SingStar Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.

*He claimed to have an [[Robotnik|IQ of over 300]].<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]] at 12:23</ref> For perspective, the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_vos_Savant woman with the highest IQ in the world] has an IQ of 230. Later on, he claimed to have an IQ of 150.<ref>[[Mailbag 19]]</ref>

*Chris has inserted clearly bullshit [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_1/Page_1 disclaimer pages] at the front of each issue of his comics where he claims:
{{quote|Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu Comics]], except that of Christian Weston Chandler, [[Megan|that]] [[Clyde Cash|may]] [[CADD Chef|seem]] [[Kellie Andes|similar]] [[Hanna|to]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|anyone]] [[Bagget|in]] [[Sarah Hammer|real]] [[Wes Iseli|life]], are purely coincidental, or otherwise [[Parody|parodic]].|Chris's disclaimer as it appears in his comics.}}

*Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|playstation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[PaRappa contest]].

*Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's SingStar Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.

*In [[Mailbag 14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].

*In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.

*Chris claims he can lift [[Mailbag 48#Chris recommends wearing girl clothes over guy clothes|"well over 100 pounds"]].

*In order to substantiate his claim that [[Asperchu]] is a [[parody]] of himself, Chris would logically be forced to admit their many similarities. However, most of that would involve admitting that Chris is a delusional, self-centered prick. Chris instead opts to note the similarities in their physical appearance. To wit: Asperchu's [[Pedo-Glasses]], [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]], and [[Chris and Fashion|striped shirts]]. However, when it comes to Asperchu's rotund figure and obvious man-boobs, Chris admits that he ''used to'' have "manboobs" and a "buddha belly". Obviously, those things should not be described in the [[obesity|past tense]].

*Chris began receiving emails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. As Chris is a 300-IQ-having detail-oriented Pokémon expert, and he drew this Raichu with a pointed tail several times, fans concluded that he must have intended this, and let Chris know they now understand Rosechu started out male, and may still be a trap or hermaphroditic. Panicked that he'd been cornered, but unable to just issue a simple [[retcon]] due to his [[Chris and his ego|crippling ego]], Chris instead made a 22 January post on his [[CWCipedia]] including a doctored picture of the Raichu with the tail now blunted and lied to his readers that it had always been drawn that way since the very beginning. Not only was it obviously photoshopped, but he's such a tremendous idiot that he didn't change the actual comic page showing the pointed tail in his own site's archives. (It should be noted that Chris devised Rosechu's back story before Pokémon introduced the concept of gender specific features; all Raichu were depicted with a pointed tail before 2006. While Chris could have simply made this point, he opted to instead lie to his TRUE and HONEST fans.)

*In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] claiming that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.

*When [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|talking to Alec]], Chris claimed that the [[Basement Rosechus]] were not meant to imply that Alec raped them, only that he allegedly treated them like hamsters. If this were so, why is one of them wearing a bridal gown, and why is one clad in only her undergarments if he was just keeping them as non-sexual pets?

*On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.

*During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|the eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Nintendo simply giving away rights to use one of the most popular characters from one of their biggest cash cows is absolutely ridiculous. Also during the call, Chris made it a point to state very confidently that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns as a valid reason to not sell off any of his games to make some money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly. Even if he played games for 10 hours a day, 30 minutes at a time for each game, he'd only be able to play each game once a month.

*Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10]].

*When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure about making money with Sonichu, if that were true, he would never try to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|videogame]] about Sonichu, nor try to sell it to businesspeople.

*Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and in fact complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].

*Promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].

*While trying to get himself back into the GAMe PLACe, he says to Michael Snyder he's a better person. This is after all the shit he's done in the last year and a half, while secretly recording Michael, and ends the meeting calling Michael a Jew like it's an insult despite previously claiming he had nothing against Jews.

*Chris's [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)|CWCipedia article about the Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fantasy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths and flat out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and the Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris' "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails_Part_2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favourite for this).

*In [[Mailbag 49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy, allowing for open homosexuals to serve in the US military, Chris, in an extremely homophobic reply, said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[Homos|homos]] can go die in explosions." In [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag_53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], when called out on this, rather than simply apologise for the remark, he either denied having made it in the first place, or he claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an email in [[Mailbag 51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original email. As of writing, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49]] remains unchanged and unretracted.

{{quote|I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole 'honesty' thing you keep talking about.|Matthew Devoria - [[Father Call]]}}

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Autism

2010-05-17T20:05:36Z

James Lamp-Eye:

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
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{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

When Chris was in the fourth grade, the staff of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] attempted to pull him out of mainstream classrooms and send him to a special school. However, his parents insisted on mainstreaming him, and eventually moved to another county in order to send him to regular middle and high schools.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he's a virgin.

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|theory]] linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
{{main|Asperger syndrome}}
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are people with Asperger's syndrome — Chris views them as a sort of rival tribe competing for the sympathy of the world. Although it's generally accepted that Asperger's and his own high-functioning autism are nearly identical, Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a superior tier of social retardation. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>)

Because of Chris's [[Chris and his ego|''massive'' ego]], he seems to think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic, leading him to call people with Asperger's "fakers".

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==Chris and his own Autism==
Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]].

Ignoring the seemingly endless [[Chris and hypocrisy|contradictions]] between Chris's view of himself and his view of 'lower functioning' autistics (such as his claim during mumble 3 that he has conquered boundaries that any low-functioning autistic would be afraid of, and yet he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never [[Blanca|had]] a [[Julie|real]] [[Ivy|girlfriend]], and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis), Chris's attitude towards his own autism can be summed up as follows: Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and remorse

2010-04-30T01:05:01Z

James Lamp-Eye: lawl

Every so often, the horrendous things [[Chris]] continually does catches up with him, and he is forced to apologize. These apologies, like most of the other times Chris [[Autism|tries to come off as emotional]], often feel very forced and insincere, leading many [[trolls]] to wonder if Chris is even capable of feeling '''remorse'''.

It's not out of the question. A common trait of [[autism]] is a lack of empathy, meaning it's very likely Chris has a very difficult time trying to understand what people other than himself feel. Just as time and time again he's shown himself unable to understand others' feelings of [[Chris and death|loss or sadness]], he seems equally incapable of understanding how his actions could possibly hurt or anger others. Thus when he is expected to show remorse it often seems as though he is just going through the motions, and making the absolute minimum effort to get whoever he has upset to stop pestering him, so he can go back to his oblivious existence playing [[PS3]].

==Concept of Wrongdoing==

The understanding of right and wrong is an important part of a child's development. Very young children do not actually take into consideration what is ethically the right or wrong thing to do, instead basing their actions on whether they are punished and rewarded, before eventually internalizing this value system and becoming self-policing. Chris seems to be stuck in this early mentality. If something makes him feel bad, or if he knows he'll get in trouble for doing something, he considers it wrong. If it makes him feel good, or looks like it could have potential rewards, it must be right. Other considerations, such as what his [[Chris and religion|supposed faith]] prescribes or how this will affect [[Megan|other]] [[The Wallflower|people]], simply do not rank.

An excellent example of this would be how Chris managed to destroy his relationship with [[Megan]]. Chris was at war with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], who were, among other things, calling him [[gay]]. In an attempt to disprove their allegations, Chris uploaded [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a certain image]] to the website, apparently under the belief that that sort of information overload would get them to shut up. When the denizens of ED assumed the image was of Crystal, Chris was quick to correct them. At no point were the feelings of Megan even considered. When she [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called him out]], Chris didn't even realize he had done anything wrong, and assumed she was upset simply because she didn't watch enough [[Porn]].

{{Quote|I understand. You may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had, so the idea of a "hand job" (which was the act drawn there) as part of [[Chris and English|outtercourse]] (versus intercourse) was a surprise to you. I'm sorry.|Chris, [[Megan E-mails#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|not getting it at all]].}}

As such, Chris isn't really capable of remorse or a sincere apology. The natural precursor to an apology is the internal realization that one has done something wrong, a realization that Chris's childish, self-centered mindset will not allow him to reach. In his mind, he's done something "wrong" only when the people around him react negatively. Furthermore, as a rule, he assumes that their reaction is just the result of some misunderstanding, going by the logic that if he was just given the chance to explain what he was trying to accomplish, they would understand, and all would be forgiven.

==Motivation to apologize==
[[Image:VivianLetsTalkBusiness.PNG|thumb|I'm sorry, now give me money.]]
As explained above, Chris's logic when it comes to matters of right and wrong is almost wholly reactionary. His rationale for apologizing follows the same pattern. He issues them only when made fully aware that he will not get what he wants unless he at least tries to appear genuinely remorseful. As such, every apology Chris has ever made can be immediately connected to something Chris wants, and thinks he'll get if he says the magic words “I'm sorry”. We almost never have to guess what that thing might be, he's almost always mentions his desired goal in the same paragraph, sometimes even in the next sentence.
{{Quote|I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of The GAMe PLACe... I miss my Friday nights over there… and also... y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.|Chris, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|apologizing in order to buy stuff]].}}
{{Quote|I apologize for the past unformalities[sic] and emotional outbursts in past communications... I ask for 25% of all money... you have and will have made from all [the [[audiobooks]]] you have put together and sold.|Chris, apologizing for sending [[Vivian Gee|Vivian]] a fucking [[Death threats|death threat]].}}
[[File:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Because Chris treats apologies with this simplistic cause-and-effect mentality, things tend to get interesting when whoever he's issuing them to tells him that all is not well, and that he is not forgiven. In [[I_am_Alive| one notable case]], he admitted to ungentlemanly conduct regarding his feud with [[Asperchu]]. It was a fairly obvious attempt to get [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements| certain ads removed from CWCipedia,]] but, notably, he announced his intention to kill off the character of [[Simonla]], in accordance with [[Evan| her creator's]] wishes. He didn't act quickly enough, and CWCipedia was taken down from the web altogether. Although his anger was understandable, Chris revealed in [[9_February_2010| his next video]] that he had never intended to kill Simonla in the first place, and that the apology was not true and honest. We had all suspected, but it's nice to get confirmation once in a while. After CWCipedia returned, he did indeed kill Simonla, but only under pressure, and in the most contrived, dull, yet very lulzy way possible.

The one apology that arguably highlights Chris's insincerity the most is his in-comic apology to the Asperpedia Four, which takes place ''while [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|condemning them to death]]''. The cognitive dissonance this creates is overwhelming to any sane person, but [[Autism|for some reason]], Chris thought that this ludicrous non-apology apology was both okay and that the recipients would accept it as genuine.

This can also be seen in Chris's misadventures with [[The Wallflower]]. When the shit hit the fan and the wallflower cut off all ties with Chris, he made his usual [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pathetic display of sorrow]], making it very clear in the process that he primarily wanted her for [[sex]]. When she had none of it, Chris became very angry and spiteful that his apology had not worked as intended, and started [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|demanding that she apologize for hurting ''his'' feelings]].
{{-}}
==Common traits of a CWC apology==

===Explanation===
One recurring element in Chris's admissions of guilt is an explanation of why he did whatever he's apologizing for. The way these speeches are worded often indicates that Chris believes that if we just understood his ''intentions'', we would all agree with him, and that nobody would be offended.

A famous example appears in the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]] video. Chris explains that yes, he videotaped himself performing a selection of disturbing sex acts, but it was all for his sweetheart [[Ivy]], and this evidently renders his actions understandable and acceptable. Supposedly speaking to a young child who was shocked by his behavior, he tells her that his behavior was perfectly reasonable because he is both adult and human. This combination of warped logic and an even more warped world-view was a crucial component of his breakthrough to mainstream infamy.

Another good example would be the time he [[Twin Falling Towers|used the worst terrorist attack in American history for an exceedingly bad joke]]. After learning that [[Kacey]] comes from a military family, Chris did what was expected of him and made a [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|public apology]]. However, he was more concerned with continuing to slander [[Clyde Cash]] and assuring us he was a good American (although he didn't know the words to his own national anthem)<ref>[[Mumble 7#summary|Mumble Chat 7]]</ref><ref>[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]</ref>than with actually expressing remorse and making an attempt at recompense.
[[Image:SnuffOutClyde.jpg|thumb|This looks like a good idea.]]
{{Quote|The joke was mainly directed to how WEAK Clyde Cash was only, I had no idea or intention of offending anyone, other than Clyde, on such a massive world-wide level.|[[Apology_for_9/11_Joke#Apology_image_text|Chris's written apology]].}}

Within the same video, he changed the photoshop he'd done of the World Trade Center towers into birthday candles. That he saw no problem in presenting an image of the two buildings on fire and repeatedly calling them weak while he asserted that he was a good American proves that he [[Fail|completely missed the point]] of what he was supposed to be apologizing for. He seems far more concerned with sullying Clyde's name than with any blowback or offense his comments may cause.

===Rationalization===

Chris is incredibly self-righteous. In his mind he is the only decent man left in the world, and everybody else is an evil [[JERKS|jerk]]. This mindset gives Chris all the justification he needs to mistreat others, because as far as he's concerned they're all the bad guys, standing in the way of his [[Fuck Quest|heroic quest]].

This "everything I do is right" mindset shows through when he is forced to talk about his prior transgressions. Chris might offer a half-assed apology, simply to conform to the wishes of whoever he's talking to, but it will often be accompanied with a long explanation as to why he ''had'' to do it.

{{Quote|I was wrong... I pretended to be him yet he was the liar. I'm the real deal... So on that one part I was wrong for the right reasons.|Chris, [[I Love You Kacey|almost admitting wrongdoing]].}}

He has exhibited this self-righteous attitude many times in the [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid Chris]] saga: because he is the TRUE and HONEST Christian, this gives him the right to [[For Kacey from CWC|attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend by]] [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be him]], and then [[SHE IS MINE NOW|gloat about it once he apparently achieves this]]. Once again, Chris sees no wrong in this; Liquid wronged him by trolling him in the first place, ergo anything he does in response is entirely justified.

==Retraction==

Chris, believing that his actions are always right, often has to be pressured into making any form of apology at all. Most, if not all, apology videos are motivated by the people he [[Fuck Quest|physically desires]] (be they obvious troll or otherwise) or [[Asperchu|desires to appease]], rather than the public outcry he causes, and certainly not from any true sense of guilt. A retraction of an apology is just as hollow as the apology itself, in that Chris is quite happy to lie to [[Chris and his ego|save face]] or gain [[china|something he wants]]. For instance, Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

When trolls took his PSN accounts, Chris made [[A_near_public_apology|a near public apology]]. A blatant attempt to get his PSN account back, the apology was, of course, chock full of lies and insincerity.

One of his favorite ways to smite his [[Clyde Cash|invisible, internet enemies]] and [[jerkop|real-life foes alike]] is to lay a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] upon them; thinking that he has powers akin to something more along the lines of Wicca, Voodoo, or Goku from [[Things Chris has ripped off|DBZ]] than with the [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] he practices. He only issued the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]] after [[Kacey|his latest e-girlfriend]] told him that he shouldn't have done so.

Considering that he [[Surfshack_Tito_(video)|quickly returned]] to his ways of cursing, [[Don't_Mess_With_Me|threatening]], and [[Chris_Drops_the_N-Bomb|insulting]] his enemies, the sentiment obviously didn't stick.

==Shifting blame==

When Chris isn't trying to justify the trouble he causes, he usually resorts to blaming others. The most famous example is him blaming [[ED]] for the end of his friendship with [[Megan]], even though it was because of a picture he himself thought up, drew, and then uploaded to his [[ED|article]]. Chris had it literally screamed at him in [[Mumble 3]], but then, as now, he still doesn't know the true reason; the best anyone has ever been able to extract from Chris is that he came on too strongly. While technically true, this is a vast understatement which fails to capture the massive amount of fault which lies with Chris (that is to say, all of it).

A stunning example of Chris's amazing ability to shift blame away from himself despite all evidence to the contrary was the [[Father Call|call with Kacey's father]]. In that conversation he blamed [[Barb|his mother]] for the state of their house, even though Chris's room is just as messy.

====The Wallflower====

Chris went to great lengths to keep the knowledge of [[The Wallflower]] away from the slanderous trolls of the Internet. However, he foolishly credited her by her screen name during one of his sycophantic Little Big Planet levels and the trolls used that to find her Facebook page... which then lead to a massive dump of info about her on the CWCki. When she was later linked to said CWCki, and horrified at the amount of information available about her, she requested that the CWCki admins remove the information since she really had very little to do with Chris and didn't deserve such a descriptive page about her. ''(Note: naturally, since her request seemed reasonable, the CWCki admins complied and removed all references to her with pseudonym The Wallflower.)''

Frightened and disgusted by what she had found, [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|The Wallflower broke off all contact with Chris]], including even casual association. She also clarified to the CWCki admins that they had never dated, never had any kind of relationship beyond casual association, and before her introduction to the CWCki she really didn't know much about him at all. Chris, however, [[Chris and reality|not to be deterred]], proclaimed many times that they had [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|been on several dates]], and [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#What_had_happened|"Shared DNA"]], along with enjoying a kiss and massage. Since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally... [[Jackie e-mails_Part_2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|Chris had either momentarily forgotten that he had never been kissed]], something that would have been a monumental occasion in his life, lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed, or lied to Jackie about ''not'' being kissed (though that is very unlikely). Either way, he still lied about the kiss, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).

With ALL the above in mind... in the month following their "breakup", Chris would go on to blame The Wallflower for [[Damien_Antaria_(CWCipedia_page)#The_Breakup|having an internet presence at all]]. In Chris's warped view of things, the reason that she broke up with him was because, by allowing herself to have a Facebook page and other information, ''she enabled herself to suffer because of Chris's actions''. Chris mentioned that he was ready to accept an apology ''from her'' at their Young Social Group Meeting, when the reality was he should have been the one offering most sincere groveling for allowing his reprehensible behavior to be [[CWCki|published]].

====Forgetting====

Aside from directly shifting the blame by [[list of Chris's lies|lying]], Chris has been frequently known to 'forget' important, critical details of his life, typically ones that make him look bad. When [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] was flirting with him by e-mails and found out about the CWCki, she asked Chris about cheating on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa]], the full details of which are documented right [[Ivy|here]]. Chris, of course, claimed flat out that the whole thing was a troll deception and that Jackie shouldn't believe it. When Jackie informed Chris she found a video of him admitting it and confessing, Chris claimed he [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_3#Chris "Forgot" He Cheated On Ivy|"forgot" this "portion"]].

On [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_October_27th,_2008|October 27th in 2008]], Chris nervously announced he had found his one true sweetheart; [[Chloe]]. Many things immediately leapt out at the trolls as being lies, including his previous announcements on an [[Chris%27s_Sonichu_IRC_Chloe_Introduction|IRC chat]]. Due to Chris's unreliable short-term memory and inaction on the part of [[trolls]], after the 27 October video Chloe was never mentioned again in a video by Chris. A little more than a year later, in [[Mailbag 13]], rather than simply admit he was lying, Chris claimed "I currently have no recollection of a Chloe", even though she was supposedly the woman he had his first real kiss with.

In [[Mumble 6#On The Trans-gender Community|Mumble 6]], the troll army called out Chris on his statements regarding transgender women. Chris claims that he forgot his previous statement, which may or may not be completely honest. In any event, Chris has discovered that (real or otherwise) a faulty memory is a socially acceptable way to dodge probing questions about ones past lies.

== Index of Chris's apologies ==

Below is an abridged list of Chris's various apologies for his many, many misdeeds. Small apologies may have been missed here and there, but these are the big ones.

*When Megan [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Megan is scarred by ShecameforCWC.JPG|called Chris out on his reprehensible actions]] regarding the porn he drew of her, he first [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris apologizes for something, what could it be?|copy-pasted "Megan, I'm sorry for hurting you."]] fifteen times in an e-mail to her, then [[Megan_Emails,_2008#Chris thinks she was scarred because she doesn't know much about sex|went into detail about how a handjob works]], figuring that [[virgin with rage|sexual frustration]] and [[naive|ignorance]] were the root causes of her [[chris and anger|anger]]. Projecting, much?
*After Chris was banned from [[The Game Place]], he tried several times to get unbanned. The first was [[Apology_to_Game_%26_Hobby_Place|a video where Chris apologies just so he can buy more junk]]. The [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|second]] was where he prepared a script, stashed a camera in his pocket, then walked into The Game Place to confront [[Michael Snyder]], claiming he had changed and apologizing for his actions. After Michael flatly refused to listen and called the cops, Chris berated him on religious grounds then called him a Jew.
*After threatening [[Vivian]]'s life when she made better [[audiobooks]] than he did, Chris apologized to her... then made a demand for a cut of her "profits", the two sentences separated by only a single dot.
*In [[I am Alive]], Chris apologizes for his ungentlemanly conduct in regard to Asperchu. This was a transparent attempt to get the [[homo]] ads removed from the [[CWCipedia]] and his behavior [[9_February_2010|subsequent]] to this apology proved he meant nothing he said in the video.
*In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris apologized to the Asperchu Four ''while simultaneously having them brutally executed'', including having one of them killed by a [[Sandy|toddler]].
*After [[Sex tape|filming himself performing sex acts for Ivy]], Chris [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|apologized for his actions]] but structured his apology to state that his behavior was, in fact, completely normal and that [[Ching Chong]] shouldn't feel bad for watching it.
*In [[Matthew_5_27,_CWC_Confessions]], Chris apologised for cheating on [[Ivy]].
*After [[Twin_Falling_Towers|mocking the worst act of domestic terrorism]] in United States history, Chris made a subsequent [[Apology_for_9/11_Joke|apology video]]... which featured the Twin Towers as candles on a birthday cake, complete with multiple gouts of flame flying from the top.
*When [[Kacey]] discovered Chris had pretended to be the [[Liquid Chris|other, better Chris]] in order to get a travel visa to [[China]], Chris apologized by way of his video [[I_Love_You_Kacey|"I Love You Kacey"]], where he claimed he was "...was wrong for the right reasons."
*Chris '''finally''' [[02_March_2010|'sincerely' apologized to Alec and Mao]] for his actions to them on the 2nd of March. However, only a month later on the 8th of April he was talking to [[Jackie_e-mails#Chris's only friends: trolls and his parents|Jackie]] and, in an attempt to gain sympathy from her, claimed that Alec was "trying to one-up [him] for months now".

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

A CWC Audition

2010-04-29T19:04:34Z

James Lamp-Eye: I think so.

"'''A CWC Audition'''" is a video by [[Christian]], published by [[Clyde Cash]] on 16 [[April 2009]]. It shows him doing an audition for a film in which he believes he will be starring, a misconception Chris was led to by trolls posing as [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. This might be the first appearance of the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] on video.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = A CWC Audition
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ZdEBsGvG1Zk}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 16 April 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Comedy.png]] [[Random-access humor|Comedy]], [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Saga = [[Image:Ivy_saga.png]] [[Ivy]] Saga
| Shirt = {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Straight White Lines
| Other = [[Image:Leaked.png]] Leaked
| previous = [[Bunny Hop]]
| next = [[April 16 Fetish Vids]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===

[''Drops controller''] Oh yes, ok... to, eh, for Vanessa Hudgen's eyes only, this is an audition of, uh, some romance and [[Chris and anger|anger]], and a lil' bit of a sing along.

[''Starts singing'']

Ooooh it's a jolly holiday with [[Ivy]], Ivy makes your heart so light.

[''Reaches down to pick up a sheet of paper'']

When the sky's gray and ordinary, Ivy makes the sun shine.

[''Jumpcut'']

Ooooh happiness is squirreling all around her, a daffodil is smiling at the dawn.

When Ivy holds my hand, I feel so grand, my heart starts beating like a big brass band.

[''Grabs his shirt and starts pulling it back and forth to imitate a heartbeat, whilst making onomatopoeic heartbeat noises in unison'']

It's a jolly holiday with Ivy, the wonder that is Ivy that I love.

[''Finishes singing'']
[''Reaches down to grab another piece of paper with a drawing of Ivy on it'']

Mmmmh my sweetest Ivy, I like a ode to you from my heart.

"You are the sweetest Ivy, with you for you, covered the arboretum with such tender and such grace. You're surrounded by glorious fourly-clovered and shamrocks and strawberries, and all sorts of variety of delicious fruits amongst your vines. And yet the garden that you, that-that lies within the arboretum is majestic under the sunlight, but it's even more beautiful, is you, cause you are my sweetest Ivy. I love you. I love you Ivy. I'll never give you up because you mean so much to me. I love you Ivy."

[''Hugs and kisses an Ivy drawing while moaning'']

I say good morning to you every day, and I say good night to you every night, and I love talking to you about your day and mine. And about yourself and I tell you about myself so much, we can find in each other so well.

You mean so much to me Ivy, cause you have performed a mirac-you have performed a miracle that only my s-truliest [[sweetheart]] could ever perform. You've fixed my [[biological clock|biological clawck]].

[''High Pitched Baby Voice''] I bee sleepeee!, during the 9:00 hour, or 10:00... [''fake yawning''] mhhh, and I get up fresh as a daisy during the 6:30 am in the morning.

I love you Ivy, I'd fight for you, I'd fight for you if need be. [''Clenches fist and tone of voice changes''] Scoundrelous [[Clyde Cash]], you dare try to get in the mid of my path, of my path, in my internet life, even in my real life, you will NEVER steal Ivy away from me, cause not only will I protect her, but God n' Jesus will too.

[''Chris starts fighting against imaginary Clyde Cash'']

GET BEHIND ME, IVY! I'll protect you from that murderous scoundrel!

Clyde Cash...

[''Draws an imaginary sword from a sheathe, in a dramatic stylized manner, similar to what you would see in an anime]'']

SHWOON!

Take this!

[''Swings imaginary sword while making silly onomatopoeic noises'']

Pfff! Pingg! Pishh!

[''Loses pretend sword and falls back to fists'']

Come on, you want some of this?! you want some of this, Clyde?!

[''Lands a devastating right hook on imaginary Clyde'']

Poomf!

[''Tired out by that last punch, Chris throws a slightly half-assed left hook, and then an even more half-assed uppercut'']

Poong! Poof!

Come on Clyde,

[''Performs a fatigued, poorly-balanced roundhouse kick, and nearly falls over before ungracefully spinning a full 360 degrees]

Kiah!

[''Whilst dizzily attempting to rebalance from the last kick, Chris cheap shots imaginary Clyde with another kick'']

Pwoon!

[''Pauses and lets his guard down to regain his balance. In a real fight, Chris would have had his ass kicked at this point'']

Come on, come on Clyde!

[''Mimes being punched in the face by Clyde. Recovers completely unfazed.'']

Pingg! Pishh! Oh, is that all you've got?! IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?!'''

[''Chris throws several meek, fatigued punches, then suddenly regains enough energy to bend his back forward and perform a very retarded looking chain-punch attack, in which his fists seem to barely travel a few inches with each strike'']

HNGHNGHNGHNGHNG!!

[''Finishes off the chain-punch with an uppercut'']

BOOM!!

[''Imaginary victory for Chris'']

You murderous Clyde Cash, I swear I will protect Ivy with MY LIFE!, cause she means the world to me, and [[GodJesus|God n' Jesus]] knows it. No acting is required because, I mean this so much from my heart.

Fairest, Ivy, sweetest Ivy, stay by my side. I will love you and you will ALWAYS love me, for we have declared our love for each other so, much, so often, and I'll make sure to tell you I love you every day, and I will kiss you passionately, kiss you from, I'll kiss you from my heart. Every time my kisses come t-go to you, they'll be from my heart.

I love you Ivy, I always will.

[''Imaginary make-out, interrupted by imaginary Clyde Cash'']

Clyde... leave us alone... LEAVE US ALONE YOU [[Death threats|MURDEROUS FIEND]]!

[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|'''SHIN-YE-HAME-HAAA!!!!!''']]

Stay down... stay down, and rot for the rest of your life. For you are destined for an underworld-for an underworld fate, for you have tortured not only my soul, but so many other souls, which upon, they're also known as the internet bullies and [[trolls]]. Begone, fiend!

Are you OK, Ivy? Good... Let's us depart to go home, where we'll make sweet passionate love, because we sure love each other, and our love is based so much on that, based so much on that. I love you Ivy, let's go.

Didn't have to remember this from my head? I came, made up as I went.

There you go that's my- that's basically good enough audition I hope, soo... thank you, I'll see you soon Vanessa.

Peace and love.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Punch Out
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8dgAbYT5nFE}}
| Stardate = 21 [[May 2009]]
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/cwcfanb0y2 cwcfanb0y2]
| Subject =
| Video Type = VG Remix
}}

==See also==
*[[Challenge for Clyde]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Bunny Hop]]|nextlink=[[April 16 Fetish Vids]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}
[[category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Emails

2010-04-22T18:58:01Z

James Lamp-Eye:

==By year==

* [[Chris E-mails 2004]]
* [[Chris E-mails 2005]]
* [[Chris E-mails 2006]]
* [[Chris E-mails 2007]]
* [[Chris E-mails 2008]]

==By topic==

* [[Blanca E-mails]], August–October 2008
* [[Cole Smithey#Gallery|Cole Smithey]], March and July 2007
* [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails]]
* [[Megan E-mails]], November 2005-April 2008
* [[Miyamoto Saga]], January 2009
* [[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails]], July 2009
* [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], March 2010
* [[White knight emails]], various
* [[Jackie e-mails]], April 2010

==Sources==

[[4chan]] hacked Chris's AOL email account, which had over 5000 emails saved over the years. Many were retrieved before Chris destroyed everything. Understandably, [[trolls]] also save the emails they personally receive from Chris.

Since some trolls took [[:Category:E-mails|screenshots]] instead of copy and pasting, a number of emails have not been transcribed.

==See Also==

[[Mailbag]], where emails sent to the [[CWCipedia]] are (ostensibly) answered.

[[Category:E-mails]] [[Category:Historical Documents]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-04-22T05:08:58Z

James Lamp-Eye:

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6]]

== I want to warn other women ==

Hello, my name is Jackie. Jesus, I can't believe I'm doing this.

Long story short, I'm in the market for a boyfriend and I posted online, thinking I would give it a shot. I meet a guy named Christian Weston Chandler. Guess where this is going.

I didn't know anything about this guy before I met him there. I talked back and forth with him for a bit on email, got to know him a little. I didn't know he was such an internet freak. But he told me all about this cwcki site, because I wanted to know more about him and I wanted him to make a video for me. He initially refused to make a video for me because he said it "got him in trouble before". I didn't know what he meant, so he sent me here to see videos of him talking to previous girlfriends and how the nasty trolls got him in trouble for it. Mind you, he was very careful to remind me that this website is full of lies and shouldn't be trusted, despite the fact he himself sent me here.

But I respected the fact he was at least being honest with me about this online shit. Or so it seemed. I watched a bunch of his videos, got more and more disturbed by them. I questioned him on some things, like how he apparently cheated on one of his ex-girlfriends with some other girl online. As was quite insulting (but not at all surprising now that I've familiarized myself with this site), he lied to me and said it never happened. Even though he himself admitted to cheating on her in a video HE MADE.

And a bunch of other shit he lied about too. Like professing his love for me every five minutes, even though he COULDN'T REMEMBER MY FUCKING NAME. Check this video out: http://www.mediafire.com/?zzivjw32mlj
I asked him to make me a video showing me his female-pleasuring skills (this was before I started to realize what a disgusting piece of shit he is), and he CALLS ME BY HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S NAME.

So there you go, have at it. He calls this website full of liars, but as far as I can tell he's a worthless piece of shit and this site is pretty frank about it. I'm fucking done dealing with him but I thought I'd contribute my experience as a warning to all the other women in Virginia.--[[User:JaxRomy|JaxRomy]] 12:24am, 22 April 2010 (EST)

:* Hello Jackie, and welcome. I am sorry you had to encounter Christian without any prior warning- the truth must be shocking and a little frightening (you know he twice tried to convince the trolls to trick him into raping someone who was [[rocky|trying to help him and only looking out for his best interests]], right?). I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that you are most welcome here, and that your experience will be added to the massive (and growing) pile of documentation regarding this mental man and his life. Your goal of warning others is a noble one and I invite you to come, join in the documentation and study of Christian Weston Chandler. Again, you have my sympathies. -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:54, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Glad to be of service! Also, if you feel like you want to, you can add a better profile for him to Dontdatehimgirl.com--there's been one up there since 4chan/SA found his comic in 2007 and it's woefully out of date. And sorry you had to put up with being in a relationship with Chris. You are also welcome to contribute any information you want.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:58, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Welcome, Jackie, and I apologize for the inconvenience you had in registering for a new account. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to leave a message on my [[User talk:Champthom|talk page]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:01, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Chris chan, "cute"? Lol. Anyway, welcome. --[[User:James Lamp-Eye|James Lamp-Eye]] 05:08, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

Sailor Megtune

2010-04-22T03:38:04Z

James Lamp-Eye: gallery

[[Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|thumb|SM with [[Megagi La Skunk]]. My god that's a [[Chris and art|horrendous drawing]].]]
'''Sailor Megtune''' is [[Megan Schroeder|Megan Schroeder's ]] Sailor Soldier alter-ego in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. The character is blatantly plagiarized from ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', a favorite show of Megan's.

==In the comic==
Sailor Megtune first appears in the [[Sonichu 5|fifth issue of ''Sonichu'']], along with [[Megagi La Skunk]], who is apparently a sidekick of sorts. She is secretly in love with Chris, proof the comic is not based on real life. He very obviously reciprocates her feelings (as he did in real life), but neither of them can act on those feelings due to "past events" or some shit.

In [[Sonichu 7|Issue 7]] Megan was back, more notably as "Megan" and not Sailor Megtune. It is implied that like Chris can transform into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Megan can transform into Sailor Megtune, possibly by using a [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar Hero controller]], though any transformation of hers is not explicitly seen in the comics. A picture in the [[Scrapbook of Fail]], however, depicts a transformation pen similar to the ones used by Sailor Moon's teammates, the Sailor Senshi (or Sailor Scouts for you dubbies), during two of the middle seasons (Sailor Moon R and Sailor Moon S). This will probably not be seen or confirmed in the future, as it's very unlikely that she will be appearing in future issues.

==Powers==
Sailor Megtune has a magical guitar weapon in which she is able to perform the attack, "Megtune Rockin' Hurricane." The power is only shown to be used as a means of deflecting or canceling out enemy attacks, and is not shown to have any offensive capabilities.

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:129-ChrisChanMegtune.jpg|[[Chris Chan Sonichu]] and Sailor Megtune.
Image:308-Megtune.jpg|First major drawing of Sailor Megtune. Note the colored-over transformation pen.
Image:310-Megtunecardback.jpg|Transformation pen full-view
Image:Sonichu05-P18.jpg|It begins...
Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|Chris writes the thoughts of a sue-ified real person.
Image:Sonichu06-P18.jpg|MEGTUNE ROCKIN' HURRICANE!
Image:Schu6p50a.jpg|Chris draws himself hugging Sailor Asscheeks before Megan made him redo the page.
Image:058-CWCJam061Front.jpg|CD cover by Chris.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Megan Schroeder]]
*[[Megagi La Skunk]]
*[[Sailor Moon]]

{{MeganSaga}}
{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Hair

2010-04-20T20:32:09Z

James Lamp-Eye: hamsterjelly, is that you?

[[Image:Baldtotheextreme.jpg|thumb|right|"I am not balding; I had a haircut in that video that started that Damn Rumor."]]

Soaked with grease and rapidly falling off, [[Chris]]'s '''hair''' is one of the many indicators of his unhealthy lifestyle.

The greasiness can easily be explained by Chris's [[McDonalds|diet]] and lack of regular bathing.

Due to what is speculated to be a hormonal imbalance, Chris is balding prematurely at the age of 27, which has made him look creepier and even more like a [[pedophile]] (and it does not really help that he tries do a combover). It is, however, a popular (albeit unlikely) theory amongst [[trolls]] that the baldness is a physical indicator of the [[stress]] Chris claims they put him through.

Naturally, Chris being Chris, he thinks it looks good, as proved in the [[Kacey Phone Call]], where he (while pretending to be [[Liquid]]) [[Chris and his ego|praised said haircut]]:

{{quote|Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his [[Barbara|mom]] probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.}}

If you were at all surprised to learn that Chris doesn't bother to go to a decent barber, but instead lets his mom cut his hair...well, you're new here, aren't you?[[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|What Chris will look like by December]]

When confronted in the mailbag ([[Mailbag 17#Chris's receding hairline disagrees|17]], [[Mailbag 25#Balding issues|25]] and [[Mailbag 28#He's also going bald|28]]) about his obviously thinning hair, Chris was, as per usual, completely in denial.

==Hair mail==
Cassie, co-founder of [[Sonichu Girls]], asked Chris for locks of his hairs so all the Sonichu Girls can have them as a souvenir.

Because Chris can't say no to a pretty lady (or a dude pretending to be one, lol), he went to the trouble of cutting his hair, placing it into small baggies with a certificate of authenticity signed by the big C himself.

Due to the Mexican postal service (insert derogatory joke about Mexicans here), it took several months for the hair to reach Cassie. When it finally did, it was a shock.

Cassie described the hair as being "greasy" and having an odd odor. While Chris promised 200 locks of hair, only 23 packets were made. Chris included a letter to Cassie, in English and Chris's version of Spanish, with each side having a [[Sonichu]] drawing, where the Spanish side has Sonichu in a sombrero (you know, BECAUSE ALL MEXICANS WEAR OVERSIZE SOMBREROS).

===Gallery of hair===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:ChrisHair1.jpg|Now future generations of trolls will be able to clone Chris so they can have their own manchild to troll.
Image:ChrisHair2.jpg|The entire packets of hair, ready for distribution to loyal Sonichu Girls (read: [[trolls]] and especially [[homos]] from rival [[Gay 4 Sonichu]])
Image:ChrisHair3.jpg|Chris went to the trouble of making a certificate of authenticity for each lock packet. You know, to keep people from cutting their own hair and claiming it to be Chris's.
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and health]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-04-20T20:17:36Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very anti-thesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, attractive and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and PSP. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels. (As a game experience, it is reputed to be quite different from the famous first-person shooter for the [[Hex Bawx]], where people [[Sonichu 10|drop crates and boxes]] on each other in level editor mode and shout [[homos|vile allegations]] at people. Why, that wouldn't do ''at all''.)

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]].

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of LittleBigPlanet. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When LBP was released, it made Chris disappear the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. LittleBigPlanet's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones. Currently unknown is how fast he jumped on buying the game's Sonic costume pack released in March 2010, which will undoubtedly inspire a revised (yet still poorly created) [[Sonichu 0]] level with Sonic and Sonichu zapping to the extreme together without having to worry about Sega enforcing those [[Lie|pesky copyright laws]].

The biggest reason Chris latched onto LittleBigPlanet was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the LBP level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. (Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of LittleBigPlanet for the Wii and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out.)

Not everything is rosy in Chris's LittleBigPlanet world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of LittleBigPlanet as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Sonichu|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over LittleBigPlanet. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the LittleBigPlanet's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his Sonichu levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the LBP community at large. See most of his LBP videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the LBP community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]
Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for LBP. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my Rosechu Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony has, of course, not responded.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in LittleBigPlanet and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris' levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. Poorly thought-out, not checked before publishing, laziness showing everywhere, technical incompetence all around and mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to LBP as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris' follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of his levels have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when LBP was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first LBP level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic.

The rest of the level is just a plain old wall-to-wall storm of empty, poorly made blocks of material and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eight times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

The level that catapulted Chris to fame when it was featured in LittleBigPlanet website. Vastly improved compared to Sonichu level, which still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks | build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|the guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks, so you'd better not doubt his straightness.

Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history; the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his LBP profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": A few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS | extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video.

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives [[User:CJB8895|massive ego]]-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid - just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009. Hint: ''Kacey and Chris weren't together yet back then.''

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]
"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and the mysterious [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (and inevitable) cameos by certain electric hedgehog Pokémons. A full version is apparently coming up, though judging by Chris's previous promises of producing things to a deadline and his general laziness, [[A_message_to_the_Trolls|alongside recent events]], the chances of a complete level coming up within the next decade are questionable at best. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory]. Since Chris ruined his friendship with the Wallflower the level will probably never be completed.

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]

Autism

2010-04-18T05:27:55Z

James Lamp-Eye: lrn2preview

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]].

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games and prowling for his next [[sweetheart]] and often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked theory linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
''See also: [[Asperger's]]'' 
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are anyone who has Asperger's Syndrome or are deemed "low-functioning". As such, Chris is shown to be very "close-minded" about the subject and will get violent over anyone trying to prove the fact that Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism are nearly identical. In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's Syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism. He also may think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Autism

2010-04-18T05:27:23Z

James Lamp-Eye:

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]].

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games and prowling for his next [[sweetheart]] and often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked theory linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
''See also: [[Asperger's]]''
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are anyone who has Asperger's Syndrome or are deemed "low-functioning". As such, Chris is shown to be very "close-minded" about the subject and will get violent over anyone trying to prove the fact that Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism are nearly identical. In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's Syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism. He also may think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Pedofork

2010-04-17T00:32:55Z

James Lamp-Eye:

{{quote|I am not a Pedofork, YOU DORKS!!!|Christian Weston Chandler}}

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|120px|Chris's role-model]]

A '''pedofork''' ''(pronounced "PED-oh-fork"),'' a portmanteau for "pedophile" and "dork", is [[Chris]]'s term for a pedophile (''paedophile'' to non-Americans), child molester, or anyone else with some sort of sexual interest in the underage.

This term was initially coined in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Madman Rising]] video in response to [[trolls]] comparing Chris to "that senile old man in ''[[Family Guy]]''," known to the rest of the world as "[[Wikipedia:List of characters in Family Guy#Herbert|Herbert the Pervert]]."

Suffice to say, this was one of Chris's first over-reactions to trolls and an early step towards becoming a LOLcow.
==Evidence of Chris's pedofork tendencies==
[[Image:ChrisChanDamageControl.jpg|thumb|right|250px|"I AM NOT A PEDOFORK, YOU DORKS!"]]
Although the Sonichu series was originally intended for children, Chris put a bunch of porn into issue 8. This included graphic depictions of Sonichu and Rosechu having sex, and multiple instances of Rosechu stripping naked. One of the most notorious sequences came near the end of episode 17, where Rosechu face-raped [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to a near-death state after he taunted her by throwing a pickle at her. In the same episode an [[Zapina|anthropomorphic lightning bug]] exclaims "I've just turned 14-years cute!!!" and wishes to assist [[Rosechu]] in making porn for "[[women's rights]]." Rosechu says "I don't know child, what with the dumb laws." Chris later stated in [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]] that if given the power, he would change the age of consent in America to "Sweet 16", making it "another good reason it would be a 'Sweet' age." He is obviously unaware that age of consent is controlled by the state, and most states already have it set at 16 or 17. But in Virginia, it's 18. He also believes that kids can participate in "adult" activities, like perverse satires with adult themes and making a porno, as long as there's adult supervision.

All of his attempts at a classified ad for himself always start with "I'm looking for an 18-2X boyfriend free girl…" At his age, being seen with a woman a decade younger than him would be considered socially unacceptable and downright creepy, based on the "half-your-age-plus-seven" tradition. Of course, Chris doesn't understand social mores regarding age differences, so to him, if she's legal and breathing, she's fit as a sexual partner. This leads one to ask how low he'd go. If the legal age were, for example, 14, would he instead be saying "I'm looking for an 14-28 year old boyfriend-free girl…"?

Chris notoriously had sex with [[Kimmi]], an anime blow up doll that looks underage. He maintains that he stays straight by looking at a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]], which features said character and her 8 year old daughter from the future, and when he was editing his [[ED]] article in his favor, one of his accounts had underage porn featured prominently on the user page. Most of the underage porn from this user page, along with a few other pieces of pornographic art chosen by him (which, ironically enough, includes Pedobear… ''twice'') would reappear in the "elevator gag" in Sonichu #8. One might argue that because of his notoriously bad facial recognition, he might not realize how young they actually are. But as mentioned in [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]], he is quite good at age recognition (a talent common among autistics). This obviously brings up many questions.

To be fair, there is evidence to suggest that even Chris has '''some''' degree of an age limit. In one of [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Guru Larry's Interviews]] with him, Chris reacted with shock when Larry mentioned how another internet lolcow, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Spax3 Spax3], allegedly has a crush on Cream the Rabbit, a six-year-old character from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series. This could mean that he looks down on someone going after someone so young or it could just be shock that someone shares a [[Love Quest|common interest]] with him. In addition, he stated that [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|bestiality]] is wrong, but didn't mention the age factor.

Another thing to note is that Chris's own character [[Rosechu]] is based off [[Amy Rose]], another character from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, and one who is only twelve years old in canon.<ref>http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Amy_Rose</ref>

It's possible Chris only cares about getting his [[china]], and not so much how old it is. Then again, he doesn't ask for girls any older than him on his [[sign]], so clearly he [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|likes 'em young]], so to speak. But this also might be a throwback from his "old-fashioned" rearing, which demands that the woman must be younger.

{{Quote|It's okay where it [the legal age of consent] is, but yeah, if changable [sic], Sweet 16; another good reason it would be a "Sweet" age.|Chris, not even trying to be subtle, from [[Mailbag 3#Plush boobs and pedoforks|Mailbag 3]]}}
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|No unsavory implications here.]]

While he's not an outright baby-fucker pedophile, Chris does seem to subscribe to the notion that "if there's grass on the field, play ball." On a number of occasions, he's suggested that if he were given the opportunity, he'd be willing to date and have sex with young women who are below the legal age of consent.

*The first example from Sonichu is found when Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] have a graphic furry yiff-fest in one of the early comics. The decision to draw such a horrific creation is doubly creepy; on the one hand Sonichu and Rosechu were just recently hatched, meaning they were well under the age of consent at the time the sexual intercourse was depicted by Chris (he later justifies it by saying Sonichu and Rosechu were hatched over the age of 18). On the other, Chris is drawing a comic about ''Sonic the friggin' Hedgehog characters'', i.e, a comic probably aimed toward an audience of children. '''He drew graphic sex in a comic whose audience is primarily children.''' And it's not just an isolated incident - some form of graphic sex occurs in nearly every episode of ''Sonichu''. Not to mention that Rosechu is blatantly copied from [[Amy Rose]], who is canonically ''twelve years old''.

*Exhibit B of Chris's pedofork tendencies comes in the form of a character in the Sonichu world known as [[Zapina]]. In an attempt to show that he ''wasn't'' a pedophile, Chris, hilariously, revealed that he thinks of child protective laws as "dumb". What happens in the drawing is all of the [[Rosechus]] are "stripping for women's rights" and the "14 years cute" Zapina wants to strip too. Rosechu takes young Zapina aside and informs her that because of "those dumb laws", she must not... not to worry, though, as Chris lets Zapina view all of the stripping action, and they use her ass as a spotlight for the whole terrifying ordeal (because Zapina is some sort of lightning bug or something). It's also interesting to note that Zapina, despite being 14, is still drawn with cleavage and is even wearing a tube top.

*He named a character [[Lolisa Rosechu]], which sounds an awful lot like "Lolita". The odds are pretty good that he's never read Nabokov, and he probably doesn't even understand the meaning of the generic term, but the coincidence remains disturbing, unless you're not a [[slow-in-the-mind]] and realize she is the oldest [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]]

*In [[Mailbag 3]], a [[troll|fan]] emailed him asking if he would lower the legal age of consent, and if so, what he would lower it to. He answered with 16. Although the age of consent ''is'' 16 in many US States, the current legal age in Virginia is 18. He then made a terrible pun that suggested he wants to sleep with 16-year-old girls.

*In [[Mailbag 54]], Chris discussed his fondness for ''Gunslinger Girl'' and ''Shuffle'', two anime series noted for their pedophilic appeal.

*In the [[Sonichu 11|comic version]] of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]], one of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu's daughters]] says "I'm the Virgin Mary. That's my story and I'm sticking to it." When this joke first appeared on ''Family Guy'' 10 years ago it was said by an adult woman. In the comic, Sonichu's daughters have just entered elementary school.

*In a series of [[Facebook messages#Christina Katherine Trevillian|messages]] on Facebook, it was revealed that, even after learning his target was underage, Chris continued to pursue her.

*Chris repeatedly insists that showing graphic sexual content to children is not only acceptable, it is normal, healthy and educational. To wit, it's okay to have sexually explicit content in a children's comic or let your kindergartners watch TV shows loaded with sex and adult humor. Chris also thinks small children would be interested in sex, enough to seek out adult content on their own, such as watching softcore porn on Cinemax late at night.

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]]
*[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|Chris's first use of the term pedofork]]
*[[Pedo-glasses]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic9P29.htm The disturbing Zapina page]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNANhlZiMJE Chris-Chan is a Pedophile (REMIX)]

{{stub}}

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and sex

2010-04-17T00:31:44Z

James Lamp-Eye: moving section

{{Honest}}

{{Oversized}}

{{Split Off}}

[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (aka "hanky panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use the proper terms - either medical or slang - for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]". In [[Sonichu 9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like men.

In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful...sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate".<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> He claims he learned everything from simply watching porn and hentai, and basic high school sex education. Who would think that such art forms could be this beneficial? This thinking has certainly worked wonders for Chris, who now believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex. And he has a subscription to ''Playboy''!

Chris also suffers from the delusion that his [[duck|penis]] is [[Giant Penis Comic|huge]]. He also has a flaccidity problem, which is possibly a hormonal pathology or [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]]. Despite this obvious lack of virility, he is still a stud in his own mind. However, he has expressed jealousy of men whose penises are over seven inches long.<ref>[[:File:Evan responds to his death.png|Evan responds to his death in Sonichu 10]]</ref>

Among other views of gender, Chris reveals a lot of sexist tendencies. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]]. His views on women are inadvertently supported by [[Barbara]], who tells him how handsome and special he is, and how the girls won't be able to keep their hands off him. He obviously doesn't realize that all parents think their kids are the most beautiful little snowflakes in the world, and probably still sees her as an unbiased source for compliments.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? LOL. I mean ''really''? In a ''children's'' comic? 'Cuz they know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes[…]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his [[semen|navy]], or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video of his first full sexual intercourse]]. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public]]. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!!]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. Since Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo), Chris assumes that it's perfectly normal for a man to ride on top, lean forward, and moan while calling out his partner's name.

Chris's view of cunnilingus involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

Chris having sex also involves shouting his lover's name (JUUULAAAAAAY!!!) in the same way an adolescent would shout out "PENIS" during the Penis Game — again, copying what he sees in porn. Chris constantly speaks in a monotone yet high pitched and feminine voice, without any real feeling.

Chris takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See also [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

Chris apparently thinks that homosexuality is contagious. He feels that spending time with men will turn him gay, so he insists on only having female friends ([[gal pal]]s). He admitted to using a ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' poster to stay straight. When he met a gay friend of [[Megan]]'s, he became hostile. In his apology letter to Megan, he had this to say:

{{quote|Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."'| Chris, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*" , Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm)}}

Chris's answers to fan mail suggest that he is bombarded by constant homoerotic thoughts and uses several unhealthy coping methods to suppress them:

{{quote|Although the gender change would be my "rather-to-do" over becoming a homo, but in your case, I would suggest looking at women more, fantasize yourself with their breasts and pussys [sic]; do this continuously. Hypnotize yourself; every time you have a homo thought, you will feel like you are being shocked by lightning and that it really hurts. And every time you fantasize women, breasts and pussy, you will feel calm, relaxed and good. But DO NOT hurt yourself physically for real; that would be really bad. In other words, you would be reprogramming your brain.|Chris, [[Mailbag 3]]}}

To further reiterate just how straight he is, Chris released his infamous [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|dildo crushing video]], featuring a sign on the back of his foot — which he uses to proclaim that HE IS STRAIGHT for the 9001st time — containing a crude drawing of a female body, consisting of breasts and a hairy vagina. Because this is what all straight men do to assert their heterosexuality.

In an [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC fan chat]], Chris went so far as wanting to make homosexuality illegal:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls".|Chris, 02 January 09, 11:59}}

When asked how he would go about this, he commented that homosexuals would be "taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]" and that "prisons will no longer be divided between gender." Take a moment to consider how twisted that would be. He justifies this by saying that "it's bad enough they're mostly jerks, plus homo men are AGAINST God's will." Apparently lazy, greedy, sexually lascivious, vengeful retards who wish damnation upon others are all part of God's divine plan.

The true irony of Chris's homophobia lies in his own logic. Chris hates [[Jerks|every male on the face of the earth]] save his [[Bob Chandler|father]] due to numerous rejections from women, under the guise of them already having boyfriends. [[Dating education|Completely confident]] that he is a perfect Adonis and that there must be some other reason women reject him, Chris took their statements to heart and came up with the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]. Now, if the the entire gay community were strapped down and tortured into being straight, Chris's already pathetically slim chances of finding a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]] rocket down another notch, increasing the manchild's chances of dying alone, and the Gene Pool taking a step forward.

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?

* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more.

* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.

* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).

* Going with the above, in the ''[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]'', Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "hanky panky" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.

* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, autistic and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

==Pedophilia==

''See [[Pedofork]]''

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some]] [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|exceptions]], but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. He most likely doesn't know what a furry is.

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself with his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]]. Recently Chris [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|has attempted]] to get [[the Wallflower]] to have sex with him because a prostitute would cost too much.

==Chris and Rape==
{{Quote|I would appreciate it if I was FULLY UNDERSTOOD as the Noble Gentleman that I am.|Chris, a man who groped a [[Kacey|woman]] the first time he met her.}}

As Chris's sexual frustrations continue to build and build, some observers have raised the unsettling question of whether he might try to force himself on a woman. The possibility does seem real - his relationship with [[Megan Schroeder]] provides many examples of his [[Autism|inability to understand]] the importance of respecting physical boundaries and the simple fact that "no means no."

Thanks to his characteristic lack of empathy, Chris has almost no grasp on how emotional and physical intimacies develop in the real world. [[Anime]] and porn have taught him all the wrong lessons — he assumes that sex is something that just happens, and usually sooner rather than later. He quite literally believes the joke statement, "rape is how they say 'hello' in Japan". Being a retard, he assumes that not only is that true, but that it applies to Western culture as well. He took it as a given that Megan would put out if he won the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] contest and took her to [[Wikipedia:Seattle|Seattle]]. In his conversations with [[Vivian Gee]], he professed a belief that sex automatically happens after the [[third date]]. During his feud with [[CChanSonichuCWC]], he seemed to think that he’d be able to get some if he lured his rival's girlfriend [[Kacey]] to his house, and never mind that she'd probably be able to tell the difference between Chris and her ''real'' boyfriend. This is him again believing that everyone is as stupid and terrible with faces as he is.

Whether Chris understands rape as a concept is up for debate. He claims that he knows what rape is, but at the very least, his self-absorption and lack of empathy mean that he doesn't understand the gravity of rape, or its long-term consequences for the victim. It is possible that the only reason he knows anything about rape is through porn, where it isn't portrayed as bad, and the girl always ends up enjoying it in the end.

As stated above, Chris has claimed that in his ideal world, homosexuals would be ''"taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts[itutes]"''and that ''"prisons will no longer be divided between gender."'' It is unknown if Chris would obtain permission from the women before putting them to work "reprogramming" gay men, but the fact that he specifies prison inmates seems to imply that he doesn't expect the women to cooperate willingly. He also fails to realize that "reprogramming" homosexuals by forcing them to have sex with women constitutes rape. The fact that he believes prisons being co-ed would reduce the incidence of homosexuality shows that he is, on some level, aware that homosexual sex and rape occurs in prison, but he doesn't specify whether integration would allow men and women to have consensual relations or just shift the rape from male on male to male on female.

When [[IRC_(21_January_2009)|confronted with the news]] that his sweetheart [[PandaHalo]] had been raped by [[Clyde Cash]] and become pregnant as a result, Chris was easily distracted from the emotional impact of what had happened, and instead focused most of his attention on what kind of domestic arrangements would result, or whether he might have to forgo his trip to Nintendo of America headquarters in order to pay for an abortion. His first reaction was to tell her that he wouldn't blame her or "hold it against [her]". Any woman assumes as long as her mate isn't a misogynistic asshole that he wouldn't blame her, and being "reassured" of such isn't exactly comforting or helpful. Chris was even willing to accept the mind-boggling possibility that Panda might want to live with Clyde, and raise her child alongside him.

While [[IRC (23 July 2009)|pretending to be a troll]] in an IRC conversation, Chris suggested twice that the trolls should instigate him to rape [[Rocky]]. Whether Chris actually wants to rape Rocky and then use the trolls as a convenient scapegoat ("They made me do it!"), or whether he is particularly awful at bluffing, remains a mystery.

In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris reveals that he had traveled forward in time and, aside from finding the cure for homosexuality, he also meets his [[Lovely Weather|future wife]]. Mistaking Chris for his future self, his wife invites him home for some sexing. Chris seems to think that there's nothing wrong with having sex with a woman if she thinks you're someone else. Chris falls back on the old standby, "if she didn't say no, it's not rape." Like his stance on [[Women's Rights]], where he maintains he's not a chauvinist because he'd never physically abuse a woman, Chris fails to realize that there's more to it than that.

In his video [[IPods Down and Listen Up]], Chris "sings" about sexual assault with him as the "star" rapist. The lyrics describe the victim as a "[[Niggos|sleek, sexy panther]]" whom he fails to ambush as she flees. Then [[Sonichu's Edge|he chases her]], wears her out and, in his own words, ''"...You take it like a gal (gal), and then we pump (pump-pump, pump) ..."'' until impregnation.

Despite all these foreboding implications, however, it helps to keep a few practical facts in mind. Chris is a [[Chris and health|physically decrepit]] coward with an incredibly low threshold of pain. If he ever attempted to assault a woman, he probably wouldn’t get very far. For the sake of all involved, anyway, let's hope so. This is assuming that he doesn't squash her first with his [[obesity|massive girth]], in which case, there would be a problem.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Nathanael Greene Elementary School

2010-04-14T14:40:17Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:Nathaniel Greene School.jpg|thumb|Nathanael Greene Elementary School, Standardsville]]

'''Nathanael Greene Elementary School''' is an elementary school in [[Wikipedia:Standardsville, Virginia|Stanardsville, Virginia]], a 192 acre (77.7 hectares) town (to put that in perspective, [[Wikipedia:Cuyamaca Community College|this community college]] is about the same size as the whole town), which basically consists of a highway intersection. It's named for the [[Wikipedia:American Revolutionary War|Revolutionary War]] hero [[Wikipedia:Nathanael Greene|Nathanael Greene]]. [[Chris]] attended [[Wikipedia:Fourth grade|fourth-grade]] classes at this school. To this day, he consistently misspells the school's namesake as "Nathan'''i'''el Greene," so he obviously learned a lot there!

Chris was pulled out of the school by [[Bob]] after telling him that he had become [[homo|homophobic]] due to sitting on the (supposedly) homosexual [[Bruce Johnson|principal]]'s lap (srsly). His later hate for [[homos]] can be traced back to this incident,<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]]</ref> despite being far too young at the time (especially for a sheltered retard) to know what homosexuality even was.

{{quote|they abused me by pinning me to the ground with, uh, their ha--with, uh holding my wrists and my ankles|Chris on his teachers and principals<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref>}}

Based on "physical abuse from 5 faculty members", Chris's parents took the case to [[Wikipedia:Greene County, Virginia|Greene County]] court. After the school board threatened to (allegedly) lock Chris away, his family moved to [[Wikipedia:Chesterfield County, Virginia|Chesterfield County]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref>

==Why Chris Left==
{{quote|There was conflict over where he would have his schooling. The school system or the Department of Social Services had attempted to place the patient in a special school. His parents were very adamant that he be in a mainstream high school. In order to maintain custody of the patient, the patient's father moved them to Richmond, Virginia.|Jeff Raynor, M.D.<ref>[[Autism papers]]</ref>}}

The [[Autism papers]] confirm the fact that Chris's parents moved him out of Greene County to evade the the possibility of having Chris admitted to a special school. Still, details are fuzzy as to what actually took place, since Chris leaves out important details (such as what prompted them to "abuse" him), or spins the story in a way that favors him. The way he describes it, dubiously, the school faculty dragged him out of class for no particular reason, had the dubiously homo principal hold him on his lap, while attempting to molest him. Then, they held him by his wrists and ankles, and shoved a tape recorder in his face to record his screams while they laughed at his suffering. Ironically, these are the kinds of videos he makes for YouTube nowadays.

There are many details about this story which obviously don't add up.
*Despite being Virginia, principals aren't supposed to let kids sit on their lap for the exact reason Chris was afraid of: it's inappropriate behavior.
*Public schools are required to have faculty experienced with special education, so it's doubtful that Chris was surrounded completely by people who didn't understand his problems and chose to mock him.
*Most speculate that Chris was [[Chris and anger|tard raging]] and couldn't be restrained, leading to the incident in question in the office.
[[File:Asperchu Principal Parody.JPG|thumb|left|After he told Alec in that phone call, it was parodied in [[Asperchu]]]]
*In a conversation with [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_8|Alec Benson Leary]], Chris said that Principal Johnson "said some offensive things to [him]," when Chris was sitting on his lap. When pressed on exactly what those offensive things were, Chris said he couldn't remember, but that they were offensive. Chris said nothing about being molested, just that after Johnson said what he said, Chris jumped off his lap and hid under Johnson's desk. It wasn't made clear if by "offensive" he meant something of a sexual nature, an insulting remark, or merely a negative statement. Given Chris's ego and oversensitivity, it's likely Johnson simply said something that insinuated Chris's behavior or the pace of his learning was causing problems and that he might need to go into special education, and Chris found it "offensive" that he wasn't considered absolutely perfect and might have to take classes with the [[slow-in-the-minds]].
*It's also a reasonable assumption that the "tape recorder" reflects the school's attempt to record Chris's behavior to use as evidence for the need to send Chris to a special school; either that, or they were aware of the Chandlers' potentially slanderous comments towards the faculty.
* It may also be worthy of note that Chris [[Song of Christian|was given his first F at this school]]. Since he only attended for less than a year before being pulled out, it's likely that it was somehow connected to, if not the cause of, this incident.

In the end, it's most likely that Chris's autistic behavior was out of control, and the school district likely sought evidence to prove that Chris needed full time special education. Evidence like this could also be used as evidence of parental neglect or incompetence in choosing to avoid the obvious care a child needs.

Chris may also have been expelled for his out of control behavior, and he may have been forced to leave the county for the mainstream education his parents so [[naïve]]ly desired. In the United States, when a student is expelled, they're usually expelled from the school district in question until the board decides it's safe for the student to return, so the Chandlers could have just lied to him. This means that the only way he could have received an education at a public school would have been to move to a different county, where they wouldn't have records of him.

The reason why his parents were so adamant to keep him in a "normal" or "mainstream" educational environment isn't hard to guess. Not surprisingly, most of these objections are self-centered and are really about the parents' own feelings, not their child's needs. Like many parents with children with special needs:
* They may have felt that Chris's need for "special care" would reflect poorly on them as parents.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be "stigmatized" by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris would be limited in future opportunities by being put in a special school.
* They may have assumed that Chris's problem "wasn't a big deal" when educators who spent most of the day with him saw the reality of the situation.

==The Aftermath==
After Nathanael Greene, [[Bob Chandler]] unsuccessfully took legal action against the school district. His case was later dropped. Chris's family moved him away in order to keep him in "mainstream" classrooms, and we now have the Chris we know and love today.

==See also==
*[[Principal of Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://greenecounty.va.schoolwebpages.com/education/school/school.php?sectiondetailid=22 School website]

{{Template:Incomplete}}

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Education]]

User:James Lamp-Eye

2010-04-13T21:41:40Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:Bob the Lumberjack.jpg‎]]
[[Category:List of CWCkipedians who are Americunts]]
[[Category:List of CWCipedians on PVCC]]

Layla

2010-04-11T22:19:18Z

James Lamp-Eye:

[[Image:Layla.jpg|thumb|right|Concept art of Layla, as drawn by [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:180Flaaffy.png|thumb|right|An actual Flaaffy.]]
{{quote|Layla is sheepish; kind of shy, yet energetic, sweet and such|[[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Christian Weston Chandler]], [[women's rights]] activist}}
{{quote|Yo Layla! Punchy's in and he's checking you out, girl.
Come on, let's go hit the bed!|[[Chris]], singing about hedgehog sex}}

'''Layla''' (full name '''Layla Flaaffy''') is one of the newer characters in the [[Sonichu]] comic. She was first shown along with [[Ivy]], in a drawing of her that was leaked out on the Krapple Komputer Kompany [[/cwc/]] board. In [[Sonichu 9]] she is introduced as an eighteen year old [[Pokémon|Flaaffy]], who was thought up by [[Ivy]] on 15 [[2009#March|March 2009]].

She does not resemble the Pokemon Flaaffy in the slightest bit. It's not clear if this is because [[troll|Ivy]] didn't care whether or not she did, or if it's because Chris decided she was a Flaaffy at a later date as a means of justifying her presence in the comic.

When Ivy originally created the character, she was named Luckett, but according to Ivy this was changed because Chris thought it was "too French." As Luckett was something of a parallel to Sonichu (Ivy's "original" character that is just a pokemon with other attributes stapled on), this is tantamount to Sonichu being reimagined as an [[JK Productions|anteater named Reginald]].

==Personality==

While '''nothing''' Chris makes is original or interesting, Layla seems to be the most stereotypical. Apparently, having women do all of cooking, cleaning and working gets old after awhile, as Chris designed Layla in a very [[Pedofork|jailbait]] manner. This is partly due to Ivy designing her to be sexually appealing to Chris-chan, so he would be more inclined to use her in his series. The fact that she looks extremely underage is awfully telling. Her hobbies include, like, showing cleavage, creepy innuendo, and, like, [[Julie|chatting with hot guys online]]. Also one the most outright irritating characters, only slightly less aggravating than [[Magi-Chan]] or the [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonichu Babies]].

==Romance==
Implementing the world's oldest stereotype, Layla is lusted after by the [[Reginald Sneasel|series' biggest douchebag]] not named Chris. In an attempt to create some sort of conflict in the pages of making out, she falls for the azn, [[Punchy]]. But of course, everyone ends up paired up and engages in soulless furry sex.

==Fetish==
In his song [[Punchy and Layla's Dance In The Dark]], Chris reveals Layla's fetish for sadomasochism in the final lines of the song. Because Chris has only given few details about this, his fans have been forced to interpret these lines as either references to sadomasochism or [[women's rights|domestic violence]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Ivy.png|Image of Ivy and Luckett, posted on 21 March 2009 on Krapple Komputer Kompany /cwc/ board.
Image:SchuComic10P7.jpg|Introduction of [[Layla]] in [[Sonichu 9]].
Image:Camwhorelayla.JPG|Vaary intelligent, nuanced character.
Image:CamwhoreLaylacolor.jpg| Her mind's blank
</gallery>
</center>

==See Also==
* [[Ivy]]

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]