CWCki - User contributions [en]

Hooker incident

2010-04-19T12:47:21Z

JerichoJack:

The '''Hooker incident''' was an act of trolling where [[Bryan Bash]] sent a gaggle of hookers to [[house|14 Branchland Court]] so [[Chris]] would no longer need to be a [[virgin with rage]].

==Background==
After Chris's failed date with [[Emily]] gets ambushed by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]], Chris comes home only to find that a mysterious benefactor has provided him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his whole "Virgin with Rage" problem.

==Result==
Chris literally started crying and his parents called the [[police]]. During his phone conversation with Emily, who else but [[Clyde Cash]] should show up and claim responsibility for the whole incident.

==Aftermath==

Clyde took the fall for it in this phone call, right after [[Emily#Post-date_conversation_transcript|Emily's post-date conversation]].

 '''Clyde:''' [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, hello?
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris. It’s me. Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, who is this?
 '''Clyde:''' It's Clyde.
 '''Chris:''' Oh. [''unintelligible'']
 '''Clyde:''' You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily? She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh… I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh? Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.
 '''Clyde:''' Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time. I’m trying to help you, man.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find true love.
 '''Clyde:''' Sex is not true love, Chris. [''Chris talking in the background, indistinct'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.
 '''Clyde:''' Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay? I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris. There are much more evil men in this world.
 '''Barbara:''' I don't know who you think you are.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' I said I don't know who you think you are.
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.
 '''Barbara:''' But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?
 '''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.
 '''Barbara:''' [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble. Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.
 '''Brian Bash:''' Is your refrigerator running?
 '''Barbara:''' Back off!
 '''Brian Bash:''' Uoahh!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore. Goodbye!
 '''Brian Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poke flute, quick!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay! ( inarticulate yell)

[[Category:Trolling]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T03:55:22Z

JerichoJack:

'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title '''\04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)''') is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

For some reason, Chris says he got banned a year ago... ''in 2008''. Once again, Chris can't tell time. He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "Wii incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his video game consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his fan following and describing them as "greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people" in his March 10 [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 April 2010. Chris uploaded it to YouTube later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, likely thanks to Chris's anti-Semitic attitude.

==Description==

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

==Transcript==

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, Captain's Log. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine. Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since, uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know what. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|JEW!]]

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==MP3 Download==

* http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm

==See Also==
[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-30T08:54:42Z

JerichoJack: /* Stay safe */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]]

== April is Autism Awareness Month ==

Is there any chance our friendly CWCki admins could make mention of this?--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 07:28, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::** For added hilarity, may I suggest changing the article of the now to the [[Homos]] article? This may provoke Chris into making another attempt to "Sort out fact from fiction" at the best and make him rage at the least.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**Worth a shot. I know its a gamble, but if theres anything we know about Chris, its that he hates da homos, and especially hates being called one. It'd probably get us quite a lot of information. We thought we pretty much had Chris and his ideas of reality all summed up, and then we discover he honestly believes cartoons are real. I remember thinking, 'How the fuck did we not know that by now?' So who knows? Maybe we could get something fresh out of his stance on homos yet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:25, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**He went back and forth constantly during the Asperpedia saga, what with curing them and blowing them up and appoligizing the very day afterwards. I doubt we'll get anything more interesting than him blanking the Homos article and leaving the line "I am STRAIGHT YOU GODDAMN HOMO TROLLS!" on that front. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:58, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**You never know with Chris. Failing that, what about the article on [[Snorlax]]? We could always use more information on her. Or he'll just blank it and replace it with "LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE" and then we'll put the rule 34 the drunk drawfag made of him and Snorlax on his userpage. It's a good day when the best case scenario is "Chris tells us more information" and the worst case scenario is "Chris becomes angry".--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

===Clarification===
Based on a post someone made on Krapple, I think I might need to clarify what I was saying.

There's two basic approaches to how we can react to Chris:
# we fight him
# we ignore him

Any plan more or less boils down to one of these two, as I see it. Let's say we decide to turn this into a struggle - then we're going to self consciously self censor ourselves, which is something I refuse to do (save for someone's personal well being is at stake, see [[Wallflower]]). In fact, I'm not a fan of some of the edits people have made before. I personally doubt that Chris will suddenly take credence of things said on the CWCki when they've been said before on ED, on the ED forum he supposedly reads, the numerous calls, e-mails, letters, etc. from white knights trying to tell him information, etc. It's implied in pretty much all the sweetheart articles that Chris's sweethearts are all trolls. Yet Chris ''still'' believes that these were all TRUE and HONEST women who were attracted to him and suddenly died for various reasons. Aside from documenting Chris, CWCki serves to dispel misconceptions about him and the trolls that surround him so we don't have faggots spouting the same memes over and over.

Okay, so we really don't need to self censor - there really doesn't seem to be anything indicative that Chris will take what we say with any more creedence than say, ED or any faggot who gets through to him. Chris bringing attention to CWCki makes us a very valuable target for white knights. No, not faggots who genuinely want to defend Chris, I'm talking about faggots who want to gain Chris's trust and will assume that Chris will see their CWCki edits and reward them handsomely so they can get their 15 minutes of e-fame. Vandals get shot down usually fast here on CWCki but it's a bit of a bitch still.

There's a reason why people trust CWCki over ED and other sources about Chris. It's not because we look legit or anything like that. It's because we have ways of doing things. Edits are not whims. I heard some EDiot make fun of us because we use "citation needed" because we're that serious. If you're going to make an outrageous claim about Chris or claim he said something, you better be prepared to say where and when. CWCki is serious business. Probably part of the reason is because we're mostly independent of trolling - this isn't PVCC where if you piss someone off, you're banned. We're not Krapple either. CWCki is generally free to do its own thing. People are allowed to express themselves freely.

So what does this mean? It means that CWCki should stay CWCki, not an elaborate trolling pawn. It is far better that we ignore Chris or at most stand our ground and remain a valuable, less biased, accurate source of information about Chris than to devote our time and energy into making the CWCki into an elaborate way of trolling Chris. I'd rather not see people censor themselves and go to great lengths just to troll Chris with CWCki when such efforts could be used more constructively.

Let's see how Chris responds. If he puts up a fight, then we might do something. If not, then we can carry on as business as usual. In fact, we should be trying for business as usual. March Mumble Madness is still on, and plenty of the [[:Category:Mumble chats|Mumble chats]] still need to be transcribed. Don't worry about Chris discovering shit, just focus on the stuff you'd do any day. You CWCki admins are what ultimately make the CWCki so great, and I personally admire the time and dedication many of you have put in.

In the event Chris and/or white knights vandalize CWCki, jerkops, in addition to myself, Cogs, and Clyde will be on high alert for the next week or so.

In many ways, we are trolling Chris by not giving into his ego - the problem sometimes with creating villains for Chris is that it feeds into his delusion that he's some sort of hero and that he must defeat his villains to achieve his ultimate prize. In short, preserving the CWCki as it is and maintaining its integrity is our number one priority. Anything else is secondary.

Good night, CWCki, and good luck. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeh, it seems to me the correct response to all this is as little response as possible. Personally, I reckon that anybody expecting some kind of apocalyptic confrontation is going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, practically speaking, what can Chris do? Rage and complain a bit, try to blank a few pages perhaps, maybe put a curse on cogsdev. Not much else. Then the laziness will kick in and he'll go find some other way of making an ass of himself. As for the notion that he might actually learn something from reading the CWCki...well, if there's anything I've learned from reading and contributing to this site, it's that Chris believes what Chris wants to believe. There's not a hell of a lot here that he wants to believe. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 18:48, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

* I do agree that the CWCki needs to stand up against the vile manchild, because as soon as he sees that the CWCki isn't going anywhere, you know he's going to go on a warpath like he did with his ED page, and the ED website. But on the other hand, actually doing something may spread more fuel on Chris's fire, and that's something no one wants. Chris will think that this is just like the ED page, and this is like an arch rival he has to overcome again. My advice(if anyone is interested), I wouldn't do anything to provoke Chris, and just be polite about it, and not get into trolling him, because that may make things worse, and I agree it would ruin the CWCkipedias reputation, and I respect the CWCki too much to see that happen. But knowing Chris, he will do anything to take down the CWCki, and he's going to do it any way he can, so, at that point we would need the cavalry to come in and do the trolling for the CWCki, and put Chris in his place as always. But overall, I don't think he can do much at all aside from more Jewtube videos and BAWWWWs on his own CWCipedia quotes. Sadly for Chris, the CWCki isn't going anywhere, and for Chris, that may be the biggest insult of all. - Chris Pickles

*Well, its after the deadline, and i'm not seeing any response from Chris. He must be taking his time. I'm going to bed now. Maybe when I come back something intresting would have happened. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:51, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**He said Midnight Eastern Time, it's still 11 Eastern Time. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 03:55, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**Plus, we don't know how long it will take him to realize that we aren't removing the articles. We can either post the "Chris, we have nothing to do with the loss of the Wallflower" note further down on this page or make [[Bob]], [[Snorlax]], [[Lies]], or [[Homos]] the AOTN so he may be inclined to "assist" in expanding those articles..--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:24, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***It's 20 minutes past midnight, eastern time. Once again, Chris failed to keep a promise. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:21, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris seems to check in on the internet at least once per day--he did his like forty minutes before the deadline, so we'll probably get our reaction whenever he does his next sweep. Could be that he's gone to bed and will check when he wakes up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:27, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
== Posse commitatus ==

Any able bodied CWCki user who feels they can regularly monitor CWCki for recent changes in the next week or so, please contact me for a special assignment.

Current jerkops, please be on full alert. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be home all day tomorrow and I'll likely be available this weekend. I'll help out as much as I can. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll gladly help. I don't really have anything important to do. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Recently registered but very long time follower of Chris Chan (Back when ED and the sonichu home page was all we had) and lurker around here since the Cwcki's inception. Will also gladly help, I may be unavailable starting tomorrow for 2-3 days but after that I literally have all day every day free for a while. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 05:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

:*P.S. Contact info is available on my user page. Please contact me privately, guys, if you really want to help.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

: possibly I get out of school early and will gladly help Message me on the details --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:45, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Reporting for duty Ma'am.I work from home and online anyway, so I have all day to monitor.-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:25, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== The Response(s) ==

I was told to put this on the Cwcki yesterday. It's a little late

''Dear Chris.
We of the CWCki site have seen your demands and would wish to respond to them.
First off, the CWCki's function is documentation, not trolling. We believe that your own CWCipedia does not fit all the criteria for being a wiki (only two people may edit) but is rather an online autobiography, and a rather one-sided one at that. We have filled this gap by creating an open and comprehensive documentation of you and your work.

Secondly, we of the CWCki pride ourselves in the accuracy of our articles. We strive constantly to attempt to check and double-check our articles for any errors. We have made no attempt to twist facts or lie in any way. If there is anything on our site that you believe is a lie, please let us know what it is.

Third, we never sent any message to your "girl friend", and we did not have any intention to. The person who sent the message is a third party member with no known ties to the CWCki.

Fourthly, since your "girl friend" ran away as quickly as she did, and since we go to great lengths to make our articles as accurate as possible, we are suspicious that you may have deceived her in some way. After all, if you were always telling the truth about yourself, why would she break up when she saw what she already knew?

Finally, we did not force your "girl friend" to leave you, she did that out of her own free will. We do not entirely understand why you are so angry at us for this.
Hoping our further communications will be on more friendly terms,
The CWCki''

:Well, could it hurt to make the Article of the Now into something from the Web of Life template(preferably Snorlax)? I'd like it if we could spit in his face at least a ''little'' bit before this is over.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:59, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Made some edits. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:47, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::*It looks fine to me.
::*I love this. Quite the perfect stance the CWCki need to take. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:19, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* You should make Bob AOTN - that way Chris will probably make some sort of statement on ihs health.--[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 22:46, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Either Bob or Snorlax would make a nice AOTN, but I'd prefer Snorlax on the off chance Chris tries to edit her page. He seems to have forgotten that we know what she looks like.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:56, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* All right, now that we seem to have the message settled, how are we going to give it to Chris? Do we place it somewhere on the CWCki? Do we email Chris? Or are we gonna do something else?[[User:Kraken|Kraken]]
:** We can put it right below the featured quote, he'll probably notice it there. Changing the featured article to Megan or SheCameForCWC.jpg is also an option.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:00, 13 March 2010 (UTC)

*Not to be a dick guys but c'mon, giving a formal message like this is contrary to the stance we're going to take. Giving Chris a response is feeding into his ego, even if it's a simple message. In any case, I have taken into your considerations for the Article of the Now, but personally, I was thinking [[Patti Chandler]] and with the most offensive fan art (one of the one where she's raping Chris or something like that) as the article of the now. Failing that, then maybe Snorlax. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:39, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Thinking about it some more, I was a bit hard headed. Tell you what - if Chris pushes the CWCki thing so much, we'll make a video of this in addition to the quote of the now. That's if Chris responds, mind you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Demands ==
Well, I think it's clear that he didn't even click on some of the articles--half of them are stubs to begin with. Also, he's extended his deadline and doesn't get why Heather had her article removed. Also the Hambeast has a name now. Who wants to take action?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* As usual, Chris puts absolutely no thought into his threats or demands, and has no intelligence to begin with anyways. There's nothing he can do to the cwcki, once again, Chris is fighting against something that he just has no power over, and it's completely beyond his control. My advice, I think we do need to fire back at Chris with something, just to show that the CWCki isn't going anywhere. I think we need to add some stuff to the articles he's complaining about, and improve them, maybe add some more details and maybe even revise some of the pages completely. I think that would stick in Chris's side pretty good. It's not what I would consider "Trolling", but just to show Chris that the CWCki is boss, and we do not have to do anything he says just because he doesn't like it. I would hold off on any kind of video response or direct action from the CWCkipedia, I think silence will kill Chris more. --[[user:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 05:12, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

*I disagree. While the theory is that giving him a response would just feed his ego, I think the discovery that the trolls made an entire wiki all about him was already enough to do that. I say we respond. I think we should use the letter to Chris seen above on the featured quote page as a way of telling him to fuck off. While we're at it, go about improving those articles as you said, and as was sugested, make Megan, or another 'Gal-Pal' the article of the now. If need be, we make the video too and put it with the featured quote. If he keeps quiet then we'll spare him the video and just leave him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:36, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

** You know Edward, I changed my mind, I agree with you 100%. I do think we should come up with a formal address to Chris himself via the front page of the cwcki. Something special for both Chris, and avid readers of the cwcki. Something sophisticated and swarmy I think. Insulting him would be pointless, but I think if we made a direct, formal address that doesn't pull any BS, and just gets right to the point, that would be awesome. At some point, the CWCki has to make its stand against Chris(because we only have till the 31st until chris UNVEILS HIS WRATH ARRGH!), and make it aware to people that no one is backing down. I just don't know what that address should be though, I guess it's something left up to the sysop to decide on, but it should be something that's well constructed, and just pisses Chris off as well. I mean, the guy just made a video admitting he's so desperate he would pay for hookers and begging for a girlfriend. So, there's no real reason to hold back, but I say represent the best of the cwcki. --[[Chris_Pickles]] 03:11, 15th March 2010 (UTC)
*** I think we ought to make it obvious to Chris why the pages have just been protected--you just know that his ego is going to twist that in his favor.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:05, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

* I'd go with Snorlax for maximum damage--he put a lot of emphasis on ALL OF MY RELATIVES and Bob/Barbara have the largest articles. He's freaking out about this because he's afraid that his parents are going to find out that we know about them(He didn't think we knew what they looked like). Snorlax especially, since she's adamant about staying off the internet. For bonus points make "SnorlaxCameForCWC" the image of the now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:47, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** SheCameForCWC.jpg is also another option. Imagine what happens when Chris discovers that the hated image has it's own article. Also, I know someone has Rule 34 of Jivin, so we could make that the IOTN. Failing that we can use the rule 34 Isabel made of Magi-chan and the "Redesigned" Asperchu!Magi-chan.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Thats not two Magi-Chans. That image is of Magi-Chan and Swift, the exact Magi-Chan duplicate that Chris created while attempting to retcon Asperchu. The image is actually called 'Hecameforswift.png.' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* Why don't we just pretend to follow up with Chris's demands again? Even though it has been done before, I think it could be interesting to see what his reaction would be if we took the stuff out for a day or two. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 07:22, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*And having Chris switch into "Smug Mode" for a while? No way. Besides, he's creating the most Lulz when his whims are denied. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*NEVER COMPROMISE, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ARMAGEDDON.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:01, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**No. We do not negotiate with terrorists. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:19, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's nowhere near as funny unless he's screaming or breaking the camera. I'm still hoping for a video where he's both naked and screaming.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:34, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
** Nah, giving into his demands, even as a joke, would just feed his enormous ego more, and we'd obviously see a video of Chris touting a "win" over CWCki. Standing against the manchild and essentially giving him a big "Fuck You" would be a lot more satisfying (And it might deflate Chris's ego slightly.....Well, we can dream) than a quick switcheroo. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 10:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

== Page protections ==

In light of Chris's demands, I have opted to protect all of the pages he listed on CWCipedia. Reasons are twofold:
# to prevent Chris from editing them once he realizes that he can, you know, just get an account the pages.
# to prevent white knights, faggots, and other assorted idiots from complying with Chris's demands.

Whatever may come of this, CWCki will not comply with Chris's demands, as doing so would be a violation of the principles CWCki and wikis in general stand for.

I apologize for the page protections, but I feel this is a reasonable precautionary measure that may ease up the workload of our jerkops and admins who are already on high alert. If you feel you have information that must ABSOLUTELY go in the article, post it on the article talk page and an admin will determine whether to sort of it out.

Protections will last until 01 April, and depending on Chris's responses may be extended slightly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== 500 internal server error ==

500 internal server error is completely fucking me up, there are moments that I can hardly edit pages because of it. I'm sorry if we allready have discussion on it, but we need more. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:34, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that those errors are annoying the shit out of me. In fact, I got one just now when I was trying to edit this page. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Thirded-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:28, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I know. This shit is annoying. Possibly the most annoying thing i've come across on the internet. And I've seen the 'Who broke the copier copier copier copier' ad. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:23, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Guys, just refresh or whatever. This is nothing compared to how shit used to be when we were on 110mb. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:05, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
::*fixed? maybe [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:33, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*It's better than it was yesterday. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:34, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
* I have learned to love those errors. It will slow down vandals and even Chris if they show up to mess with the CWCki. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:40, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
*Just wanna say I dig the new error pages. Funny stuff, nicely done. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:18, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== TV Tropes page? ==

Should we have a page on the various TV Tropes pages of Sonichu, and the fact that Chris is a ''god'' in the Trope Pantheon ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces under Disgraces, the God of Bile Fascination, to be exact])? He's fourth from the bottom on that page, but for the sake of simplicity I'll list his "god" info here, as exact as I can make it:

<blockquote>
'''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Christian Weston Chandler], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination God of Bile Fascination]''' (CWC, Chris-Chan Sonichu, Ian Brandon Anderson)
* Quasideity [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo that thinks he's an Overdeity]
* Symbol: His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu] Medallion
* Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
* Portfolio: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible Comics that are unreadable] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination but that you can't stop coming back to], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Using narrative to prove his righteousness]
* Domains: Animal, Envy, Hatred, Lust, Pestilence, Sloth
* Rival with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces David Gonterman] for all his portfolios.
* Other enemies: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheImageboardThatMustNotBeNamed "4-Cent Garbage"], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Technology Sonic The Hedgehog], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Beast Pikachu], Anyone in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Justice Justice] for being Jerkops.
* Chris-Chan used to spend his days lurking in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Love Love] but was banned. Ever since then he has sworn revenge by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished drawing them getting beaten up by him]
* Position: None. Apparently the other Disgraces keep him around so they can look good in comparison.
* Chance of Redemption: Slim to none.
</blockquote>

Who knows, maybe this "amazing honor" can be used in the "Did You Know..." section if a fake Chris-appeasing main page is used once the deadline passes? Just an idea. --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 22:56, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

:Please don't. TvTropes doesn't have an easy revert function, so when he shows up to try editing it will be a pain in the ass to clean up. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 00:29, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

*We already have a link to the TV Tropes page in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]] article, I think that's good. People interested in these tropes can refer to TV Tropes article for that purpose. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== Essay on CWCki ==

Someone wrote a [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/26862.html pretty decent] essay on CWCki for a totally legit college class and posted it on [[Krapple|/cwc]]. Check it out. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:10, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* That person is made of win. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:39, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* The gentleman deserves all the proper honors we can award him for this paper.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:17, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris thinks I'm Tito ==

if you like reading fake info, check the history --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*(Removing my comment so I look less like a moron. Mostly just skimmed it because of WALL OF TEXT.) -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 09:09, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*yeah, okay [[User:Batty|Batty]]. you didn't even try to make this look real. get the fuck out. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

**just seemed to be copy/pasted from the transcribed videos, most likely just attention whoring. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 09:21, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

::*Banned for great justice --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 12:36, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== Only 25 pages till the 1,000 mark ==

Will we celebrate somehow? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:35, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be sure to go get drunk, if that's any good. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 12:18, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== CWCki and POV ==

[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/27273.html This thread] on [[Krapple|/cwc]] made quite a stir, essentially with the OP complaining how we have POV. However, I think this is a fair accusation - that we're POV, that is we're biased against Chris.

Currently, it's clear that [[A_Quick_Guide_to_CWCki#POV_is_the_norm|CWCki is POV]] by its nature and the nature of its subject. Trying to be unbiased about Chris is like trying to be unbiased about Hitler - most people are going to hate him and it's really hard to say anything nice about either one without being attacked for sympathizing with them.

Personally, I think that CWCki should more or less remain critical towards Chris but not outright bash him - it's alright to point out Chris, for instance, is a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]] based on the facts, but not that he's a "complete and utter failure" simply because of his hypocrisy. Any sort of judgment on Chris should more or less be left to the reader. As was the problem with [[Chris and race]], CWCki really should try to present the facts about Chris in a way such that what Chris says mostly speaks for itself, with minor explanatory notes and allow the reader come to his own conclusion about Chris.

However, it is possible to be NPOV, but this is difficult and I think would force us to take a different tone in articles, ending up being bland and with less flexibility.

Mind you, I'm not saying we have to be nice to Chris, only that it seems that some expect us to be unbiased towards Chris and present information in an unbiased manner, which I think is not a totally unreasonable request but may not suit our needs. But nonetheless, I think it's a reasonable complaint and I think maybe we should address it (though it's unfortunate the person who started this thread did not bring it up here, but instead opted to go on Krapple).

Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:43, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

*I think, why bother? Who would really want to view an unbiased page about Chris? He is complete scum, and most people know it after barely skimming over these articles. I don't think he even deserves unbiased judgement. He threw that out the window ages ago. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 09:07, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

:*Champ, I think you have the right idea. NOTED is the thing, and we're not. EDiots put stuff in, you go round and change it. The tone is fine, and provided we don't wade outright into things, then CWCki can at least keep some degree of impartiality. We're here to document, not to actually troll Chris. That's what we have PVCC/cwc/edf for.

Being NPOV would be alot of work. Provided the humour doesn't go along the lines of "OMG FAT RETARD", we're probably doing alright for ourselves. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:31, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

Just clearing up a small misconception: [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]] doesn't mean "Good and bad views must be covered in equal measure". It means "If it's a fact that is covered in a reliable sources, it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative in tone - what matters is that it's a fact, and our job is to report it". In other words, facts speak up for themselves and we can't consciously choose to include either good or bad views, ''because that's what taking a point of view is all about''. So yes, I believe we can be neutral; for most of the part, we're ''already there''. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:15, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*If anyone knows about this shit, it's Wwwwolf being our resident Wikifag and whatnot. RPOBLEM SOLVED.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:49, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::With NPOV, i think CWCki would become a TL;DR collection, i recall some pages with a sarcastic point of view in them, and delivered all the info correctly, for example, in the page for [[ Sonichu's Edge]] we wuld have to remove the images, fan videos and remove "One can only imagine what the innocent citizens of Charlottesville must have thought as a fat, sweaty retard went puffing ...". To me, there is only 1 way to make CWCki interesting to read, POV is the norm.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 06:24, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Memorandum on Jerkop powers ==

With the exception of Quality Control Jerkops (at which moment there are no active ones), Jerkop powers are limited to deleting, moving, etc. pages only in regards to vandalism (i.e. vandal creates a page entitled "YOUR MOM SUCKS BLACK COCK" or uploads over 9000 Goatse variants). Jerkops have no authority to use their powers for editoral decisions. They are welcome to initiate the discussion of merging, deleting articles, as any other user, but they cannot use their powers to execute such plans.

Ultimate power for deletion and merging of articles belongs to admins. Admins, ideally, will recognize the will of the community but it is ultimately their decision.

I do not wish to name names but a certain Jerkop who deleted a page recently went beyond their powers and uprightly so. True, it was a sucky page that I would have deleted, but nonetheless I would have handled the situation differently than they would have.

Jerkops who wish to have Quality Control privileges can request them and interview for the position. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:42, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*I'm not even a Jerkop yet, but is there any way I could be come a Quality Control one? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 21:44, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== DVD Transcriptions ==

I'm working on transcribing the notes from the DVDs. I guess they're not absolutely needed, but would it still be ok to make a page for them? ChaosAkita 21:57, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Featured articles? ==

I noticed that [[Chris and anger]] and [[2009]] were both marked as featured articles, but there was no process of any kind; they just seem to have randomly gotten slapped with stars. If we're going to have featured articles, we need a rubric to determine what qualifies as "featured," and maybe a process to vote on what should be featured. See discussion [[Category_talk:Featured_articles#Use_it_or_lose_it|here]]. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:47, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

== Angelica 34 ==

What happened to that picture of Angelica [[mass debating]]? It's off the 34 page, and a search of the term "angelica" on every type of page turns nothing up.[[User:Wise dude321|Wise dude321]] 02:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)
:Nevermind, I found it. I went to the 110mb for the file. Also, I never want to do that again.[[User:Wise dude321|Wise dude321]] 05:12, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris is ending Sonichu ==

The ad on top of the Cwcipedia says he's discontinuing Sonichu. Either that, or I misread it. Does this mean what I think it means? If so, should we rejoice? Mourn? [[User:ninjaclown|ninjaclown]] 06:39, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
* No he isn't. Need I remind you who controls the adspace? (Hint: It's not Chris)--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:57, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
**I see. My bad then. [[User:ninjaclown|ninjaclown]] 07:07, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== Stay safe ==

Seriously, I rage every time Chris says this. It's his generic parting catch phrase, because apparently "good-bye" or "see you later" aren't enough. Should we make a page on this, documenting every time he says it and listing possible theories as to why he's so obsessed with everyone's safety? This would also be a good opportunity to link to death threats he's made, especially to people he's told to "stay safe".

Thank you for your time CWCki, and stay safe. [[User:IanBrandonAnderson|IanBrandonAnderson]] 20:23, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

:I agree with this statement. Stay safe, CWCki. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 20:27, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Stay safe probably doesn't merit a page of it's own, but it's a good point, and it would be worth adding into another article there- It is one of Chris's stranger CWCisms, and it is a tasty piece of irony too. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:29, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

I'm thinking [[Minor CWC-isms]] maybe? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:19, 28 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, Minor CWC-isms is probably the place for it. STAY SAFE, GUYS. ONLY 44 HOURS 'TILL SHIT GOES DOWN. Assuming Chris has even remembered, that is. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 08:54, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-30T08:54:16Z

JerichoJack: /* Stay safe */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]]

== April is Autism Awareness Month ==

Is there any chance our friendly CWCki admins could make mention of this?--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 07:28, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::** For added hilarity, may I suggest changing the article of the now to the [[Homos]] article? This may provoke Chris into making another attempt to "Sort out fact from fiction" at the best and make him rage at the least.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**Worth a shot. I know its a gamble, but if theres anything we know about Chris, its that he hates da homos, and especially hates being called one. It'd probably get us quite a lot of information. We thought we pretty much had Chris and his ideas of reality all summed up, and then we discover he honestly believes cartoons are real. I remember thinking, 'How the fuck did we not know that by now?' So who knows? Maybe we could get something fresh out of his stance on homos yet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:25, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**He went back and forth constantly during the Asperpedia saga, what with curing them and blowing them up and appoligizing the very day afterwards. I doubt we'll get anything more interesting than him blanking the Homos article and leaving the line "I am STRAIGHT YOU GODDAMN HOMO TROLLS!" on that front. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:58, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**You never know with Chris. Failing that, what about the article on [[Snorlax]]? We could always use more information on her. Or he'll just blank it and replace it with "LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE" and then we'll put the rule 34 the drunk drawfag made of him and Snorlax on his userpage. It's a good day when the best case scenario is "Chris tells us more information" and the worst case scenario is "Chris becomes angry".--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

===Clarification===
Based on a post someone made on Krapple, I think I might need to clarify what I was saying.

There's two basic approaches to how we can react to Chris:
# we fight him
# we ignore him

Any plan more or less boils down to one of these two, as I see it. Let's say we decide to turn this into a struggle - then we're going to self consciously self censor ourselves, which is something I refuse to do (save for someone's personal well being is at stake, see [[Wallflower]]). In fact, I'm not a fan of some of the edits people have made before. I personally doubt that Chris will suddenly take credence of things said on the CWCki when they've been said before on ED, on the ED forum he supposedly reads, the numerous calls, e-mails, letters, etc. from white knights trying to tell him information, etc. It's implied in pretty much all the sweetheart articles that Chris's sweethearts are all trolls. Yet Chris ''still'' believes that these were all TRUE and HONEST women who were attracted to him and suddenly died for various reasons. Aside from documenting Chris, CWCki serves to dispel misconceptions about him and the trolls that surround him so we don't have faggots spouting the same memes over and over.

Okay, so we really don't need to self censor - there really doesn't seem to be anything indicative that Chris will take what we say with any more creedence than say, ED or any faggot who gets through to him. Chris bringing attention to CWCki makes us a very valuable target for white knights. No, not faggots who genuinely want to defend Chris, I'm talking about faggots who want to gain Chris's trust and will assume that Chris will see their CWCki edits and reward them handsomely so they can get their 15 minutes of e-fame. Vandals get shot down usually fast here on CWCki but it's a bit of a bitch still.

There's a reason why people trust CWCki over ED and other sources about Chris. It's not because we look legit or anything like that. It's because we have ways of doing things. Edits are not whims. I heard some EDiot make fun of us because we use "citation needed" because we're that serious. If you're going to make an outrageous claim about Chris or claim he said something, you better be prepared to say where and when. CWCki is serious business. Probably part of the reason is because we're mostly independent of trolling - this isn't PVCC where if you piss someone off, you're banned. We're not Krapple either. CWCki is generally free to do its own thing. People are allowed to express themselves freely.

So what does this mean? It means that CWCki should stay CWCki, not an elaborate trolling pawn. It is far better that we ignore Chris or at most stand our ground and remain a valuable, less biased, accurate source of information about Chris than to devote our time and energy into making the CWCki into an elaborate way of trolling Chris. I'd rather not see people censor themselves and go to great lengths just to troll Chris with CWCki when such efforts could be used more constructively.

Let's see how Chris responds. If he puts up a fight, then we might do something. If not, then we can carry on as business as usual. In fact, we should be trying for business as usual. March Mumble Madness is still on, and plenty of the [[:Category:Mumble chats|Mumble chats]] still need to be transcribed. Don't worry about Chris discovering shit, just focus on the stuff you'd do any day. You CWCki admins are what ultimately make the CWCki so great, and I personally admire the time and dedication many of you have put in.

In the event Chris and/or white knights vandalize CWCki, jerkops, in addition to myself, Cogs, and Clyde will be on high alert for the next week or so.

In many ways, we are trolling Chris by not giving into his ego - the problem sometimes with creating villains for Chris is that it feeds into his delusion that he's some sort of hero and that he must defeat his villains to achieve his ultimate prize. In short, preserving the CWCki as it is and maintaining its integrity is our number one priority. Anything else is secondary.

Good night, CWCki, and good luck. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeh, it seems to me the correct response to all this is as little response as possible. Personally, I reckon that anybody expecting some kind of apocalyptic confrontation is going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, practically speaking, what can Chris do? Rage and complain a bit, try to blank a few pages perhaps, maybe put a curse on cogsdev. Not much else. Then the laziness will kick in and he'll go find some other way of making an ass of himself. As for the notion that he might actually learn something from reading the CWCki...well, if there's anything I've learned from reading and contributing to this site, it's that Chris believes what Chris wants to believe. There's not a hell of a lot here that he wants to believe. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 18:48, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

* I do agree that the CWCki needs to stand up against the vile manchild, because as soon as he sees that the CWCki isn't going anywhere, you know he's going to go on a warpath like he did with his ED page, and the ED website. But on the other hand, actually doing something may spread more fuel on Chris's fire, and that's something no one wants. Chris will think that this is just like the ED page, and this is like an arch rival he has to overcome again. My advice(if anyone is interested), I wouldn't do anything to provoke Chris, and just be polite about it, and not get into trolling him, because that may make things worse, and I agree it would ruin the CWCkipedias reputation, and I respect the CWCki too much to see that happen. But knowing Chris, he will do anything to take down the CWCki, and he's going to do it any way he can, so, at that point we would need the cavalry to come in and do the trolling for the CWCki, and put Chris in his place as always. But overall, I don't think he can do much at all aside from more Jewtube videos and BAWWWWs on his own CWCipedia quotes. Sadly for Chris, the CWCki isn't going anywhere, and for Chris, that may be the biggest insult of all. - Chris Pickles

*Well, its after the deadline, and i'm not seeing any response from Chris. He must be taking his time. I'm going to bed now. Maybe when I come back something intresting would have happened. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:51, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**He said Midnight Eastern Time, it's still 11 Eastern Time. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 03:55, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**Plus, we don't know how long it will take him to realize that we aren't removing the articles. We can either post the "Chris, we have nothing to do with the loss of the Wallflower" note further down on this page or make [[Bob]], [[Snorlax]], [[Lies]], or [[Homos]] the AOTN so he may be inclined to "assist" in expanding those articles..--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:24, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***It's 20 minutes past midnight, eastern time. Once again, Chris failed to keep a promise. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:21, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris seems to check in on the internet at least once per day--he did his like forty minutes before the deadline, so we'll probably get our reaction whenever he does his next sweep. Could be that he's gone to bed and will check when he wakes up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:27, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
== Posse commitatus ==

Any able bodied CWCki user who feels they can regularly monitor CWCki for recent changes in the next week or so, please contact me for a special assignment.

Current jerkops, please be on full alert. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be home all day tomorrow and I'll likely be available this weekend. I'll help out as much as I can. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll gladly help. I don't really have anything important to do. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Recently registered but very long time follower of Chris Chan (Back when ED and the sonichu home page was all we had) and lurker around here since the Cwcki's inception. Will also gladly help, I may be unavailable starting tomorrow for 2-3 days but after that I literally have all day every day free for a while. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 05:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

:*P.S. Contact info is available on my user page. Please contact me privately, guys, if you really want to help.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

: possibly I get out of school early and will gladly help Message me on the details --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:45, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Reporting for duty Ma'am.I work from home and online anyway, so I have all day to monitor.-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:25, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== The Response(s) ==

I was told to put this on the Cwcki yesterday. It's a little late

''Dear Chris.
We of the CWCki site have seen your demands and would wish to respond to them.
First off, the CWCki's function is documentation, not trolling. We believe that your own CWCipedia does not fit all the criteria for being a wiki (only two people may edit) but is rather an online autobiography, and a rather one-sided one at that. We have filled this gap by creating an open and comprehensive documentation of you and your work.

Secondly, we of the CWCki pride ourselves in the accuracy of our articles. We strive constantly to attempt to check and double-check our articles for any errors. We have made no attempt to twist facts or lie in any way. If there is anything on our site that you believe is a lie, please let us know what it is.

Third, we never sent any message to your "girl friend", and we did not have any intention to. The person who sent the message is a third party member with no known ties to the CWCki.

Fourthly, since your "girl friend" ran away as quickly as she did, and since we go to great lengths to make our articles as accurate as possible, we are suspicious that you may have deceived her in some way. After all, if you were always telling the truth about yourself, why would she break up when she saw what she already knew?

Finally, we did not force your "girl friend" to leave you, she did that out of her own free will. We do not entirely understand why you are so angry at us for this.
Hoping our further communications will be on more friendly terms,
The CWCki''

:Well, could it hurt to make the Article of the Now into something from the Web of Life template(preferably Snorlax)? I'd like it if we could spit in his face at least a ''little'' bit before this is over.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:59, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Made some edits. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:47, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::*It looks fine to me.
::*I love this. Quite the perfect stance the CWCki need to take. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:19, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* You should make Bob AOTN - that way Chris will probably make some sort of statement on ihs health.--[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 22:46, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Either Bob or Snorlax would make a nice AOTN, but I'd prefer Snorlax on the off chance Chris tries to edit her page. He seems to have forgotten that we know what she looks like.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:56, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* All right, now that we seem to have the message settled, how are we going to give it to Chris? Do we place it somewhere on the CWCki? Do we email Chris? Or are we gonna do something else?[[User:Kraken|Kraken]]
:** We can put it right below the featured quote, he'll probably notice it there. Changing the featured article to Megan or SheCameForCWC.jpg is also an option.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:00, 13 March 2010 (UTC)

*Not to be a dick guys but c'mon, giving a formal message like this is contrary to the stance we're going to take. Giving Chris a response is feeding into his ego, even if it's a simple message. In any case, I have taken into your considerations for the Article of the Now, but personally, I was thinking [[Patti Chandler]] and with the most offensive fan art (one of the one where she's raping Chris or something like that) as the article of the now. Failing that, then maybe Snorlax. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:39, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Thinking about it some more, I was a bit hard headed. Tell you what - if Chris pushes the CWCki thing so much, we'll make a video of this in addition to the quote of the now. That's if Chris responds, mind you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Demands ==
Well, I think it's clear that he didn't even click on some of the articles--half of them are stubs to begin with. Also, he's extended his deadline and doesn't get why Heather had her article removed. Also the Hambeast has a name now. Who wants to take action?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* As usual, Chris puts absolutely no thought into his threats or demands, and has no intelligence to begin with anyways. There's nothing he can do to the cwcki, once again, Chris is fighting against something that he just has no power over, and it's completely beyond his control. My advice, I think we do need to fire back at Chris with something, just to show that the CWCki isn't going anywhere. I think we need to add some stuff to the articles he's complaining about, and improve them, maybe add some more details and maybe even revise some of the pages completely. I think that would stick in Chris's side pretty good. It's not what I would consider "Trolling", but just to show Chris that the CWCki is boss, and we do not have to do anything he says just because he doesn't like it. I would hold off on any kind of video response or direct action from the CWCkipedia, I think silence will kill Chris more. --[[user:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 05:12, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

*I disagree. While the theory is that giving him a response would just feed his ego, I think the discovery that the trolls made an entire wiki all about him was already enough to do that. I say we respond. I think we should use the letter to Chris seen above on the featured quote page as a way of telling him to fuck off. While we're at it, go about improving those articles as you said, and as was sugested, make Megan, or another 'Gal-Pal' the article of the now. If need be, we make the video too and put it with the featured quote. If he keeps quiet then we'll spare him the video and just leave him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:36, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

** You know Edward, I changed my mind, I agree with you 100%. I do think we should come up with a formal address to Chris himself via the front page of the cwcki. Something special for both Chris, and avid readers of the cwcki. Something sophisticated and swarmy I think. Insulting him would be pointless, but I think if we made a direct, formal address that doesn't pull any BS, and just gets right to the point, that would be awesome. At some point, the CWCki has to make its stand against Chris(because we only have till the 31st until chris UNVEILS HIS WRATH ARRGH!), and make it aware to people that no one is backing down. I just don't know what that address should be though, I guess it's something left up to the sysop to decide on, but it should be something that's well constructed, and just pisses Chris off as well. I mean, the guy just made a video admitting he's so desperate he would pay for hookers and begging for a girlfriend. So, there's no real reason to hold back, but I say represent the best of the cwcki. --[[Chris_Pickles]] 03:11, 15th March 2010 (UTC)
*** I think we ought to make it obvious to Chris why the pages have just been protected--you just know that his ego is going to twist that in his favor.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:05, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

* I'd go with Snorlax for maximum damage--he put a lot of emphasis on ALL OF MY RELATIVES and Bob/Barbara have the largest articles. He's freaking out about this because he's afraid that his parents are going to find out that we know about them(He didn't think we knew what they looked like). Snorlax especially, since she's adamant about staying off the internet. For bonus points make "SnorlaxCameForCWC" the image of the now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:47, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** SheCameForCWC.jpg is also another option. Imagine what happens when Chris discovers that the hated image has it's own article. Also, I know someone has Rule 34 of Jivin, so we could make that the IOTN. Failing that we can use the rule 34 Isabel made of Magi-chan and the "Redesigned" Asperchu!Magi-chan.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Thats not two Magi-Chans. That image is of Magi-Chan and Swift, the exact Magi-Chan duplicate that Chris created while attempting to retcon Asperchu. The image is actually called 'Hecameforswift.png.' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* Why don't we just pretend to follow up with Chris's demands again? Even though it has been done before, I think it could be interesting to see what his reaction would be if we took the stuff out for a day or two. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 07:22, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*And having Chris switch into "Smug Mode" for a while? No way. Besides, he's creating the most Lulz when his whims are denied. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*NEVER COMPROMISE, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ARMAGEDDON.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:01, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**No. We do not negotiate with terrorists. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:19, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's nowhere near as funny unless he's screaming or breaking the camera. I'm still hoping for a video where he's both naked and screaming.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:34, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
** Nah, giving into his demands, even as a joke, would just feed his enormous ego more, and we'd obviously see a video of Chris touting a "win" over CWCki. Standing against the manchild and essentially giving him a big "Fuck You" would be a lot more satisfying (And it might deflate Chris's ego slightly.....Well, we can dream) than a quick switcheroo. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 10:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

== Page protections ==

In light of Chris's demands, I have opted to protect all of the pages he listed on CWCipedia. Reasons are twofold:
# to prevent Chris from editing them once he realizes that he can, you know, just get an account the pages.
# to prevent white knights, faggots, and other assorted idiots from complying with Chris's demands.

Whatever may come of this, CWCki will not comply with Chris's demands, as doing so would be a violation of the principles CWCki and wikis in general stand for.

I apologize for the page protections, but I feel this is a reasonable precautionary measure that may ease up the workload of our jerkops and admins who are already on high alert. If you feel you have information that must ABSOLUTELY go in the article, post it on the article talk page and an admin will determine whether to sort of it out.

Protections will last until 01 April, and depending on Chris's responses may be extended slightly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== 500 internal server error ==

500 internal server error is completely fucking me up, there are moments that I can hardly edit pages because of it. I'm sorry if we allready have discussion on it, but we need more. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:34, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that those errors are annoying the shit out of me. In fact, I got one just now when I was trying to edit this page. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Thirded-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:28, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I know. This shit is annoying. Possibly the most annoying thing i've come across on the internet. And I've seen the 'Who broke the copier copier copier copier' ad. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:23, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Guys, just refresh or whatever. This is nothing compared to how shit used to be when we were on 110mb. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:05, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
::*fixed? maybe [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:33, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*It's better than it was yesterday. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:34, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
* I have learned to love those errors. It will slow down vandals and even Chris if they show up to mess with the CWCki. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:40, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
*Just wanna say I dig the new error pages. Funny stuff, nicely done. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:18, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== TV Tropes page? ==

Should we have a page on the various TV Tropes pages of Sonichu, and the fact that Chris is a ''god'' in the Trope Pantheon ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces under Disgraces, the God of Bile Fascination, to be exact])? He's fourth from the bottom on that page, but for the sake of simplicity I'll list his "god" info here, as exact as I can make it:

<blockquote>
'''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Christian Weston Chandler], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination God of Bile Fascination]''' (CWC, Chris-Chan Sonichu, Ian Brandon Anderson)
* Quasideity [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo that thinks he's an Overdeity]
* Symbol: His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu] Medallion
* Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
* Portfolio: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible Comics that are unreadable] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination but that you can't stop coming back to], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Using narrative to prove his righteousness]
* Domains: Animal, Envy, Hatred, Lust, Pestilence, Sloth
* Rival with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces David Gonterman] for all his portfolios.
* Other enemies: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheImageboardThatMustNotBeNamed "4-Cent Garbage"], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Technology Sonic The Hedgehog], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Beast Pikachu], Anyone in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Justice Justice] for being Jerkops.
* Chris-Chan used to spend his days lurking in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Love Love] but was banned. Ever since then he has sworn revenge by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished drawing them getting beaten up by him]
* Position: None. Apparently the other Disgraces keep him around so they can look good in comparison.
* Chance of Redemption: Slim to none.
</blockquote>

Who knows, maybe this "amazing honor" can be used in the "Did You Know..." section if a fake Chris-appeasing main page is used once the deadline passes? Just an idea. --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 22:56, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

:Please don't. TvTropes doesn't have an easy revert function, so when he shows up to try editing it will be a pain in the ass to clean up. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 00:29, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

*We already have a link to the TV Tropes page in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]] article, I think that's good. People interested in these tropes can refer to TV Tropes article for that purpose. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== Essay on CWCki ==

Someone wrote a [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/26862.html pretty decent] essay on CWCki for a totally legit college class and posted it on [[Krapple|/cwc]]. Check it out. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:10, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* That person is made of win. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:39, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* The gentleman deserves all the proper honors we can award him for this paper.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:17, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris thinks I'm Tito ==

if you like reading fake info, check the history --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*(Removing my comment so I look less like a moron. Mostly just skimmed it because of WALL OF TEXT.) -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 09:09, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*yeah, okay [[User:Batty|Batty]]. you didn't even try to make this look real. get the fuck out. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

**just seemed to be copy/pasted from the transcribed videos, most likely just attention whoring. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 09:21, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

::*Banned for great justice --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 12:36, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== Only 25 pages till the 1,000 mark ==

Will we celebrate somehow? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:35, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be sure to go get drunk, if that's any good. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 12:18, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

== CWCki and POV ==

[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/27273.html This thread] on [[Krapple|/cwc]] made quite a stir, essentially with the OP complaining how we have POV. However, I think this is a fair accusation - that we're POV, that is we're biased against Chris.

Currently, it's clear that [[A_Quick_Guide_to_CWCki#POV_is_the_norm|CWCki is POV]] by its nature and the nature of its subject. Trying to be unbiased about Chris is like trying to be unbiased about Hitler - most people are going to hate him and it's really hard to say anything nice about either one without being attacked for sympathizing with them.

Personally, I think that CWCki should more or less remain critical towards Chris but not outright bash him - it's alright to point out Chris, for instance, is a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrite]] based on the facts, but not that he's a "complete and utter failure" simply because of his hypocrisy. Any sort of judgment on Chris should more or less be left to the reader. As was the problem with [[Chris and race]], CWCki really should try to present the facts about Chris in a way such that what Chris says mostly speaks for itself, with minor explanatory notes and allow the reader come to his own conclusion about Chris.

However, it is possible to be NPOV, but this is difficult and I think would force us to take a different tone in articles, ending up being bland and with less flexibility.

Mind you, I'm not saying we have to be nice to Chris, only that it seems that some expect us to be unbiased towards Chris and present information in an unbiased manner, which I think is not a totally unreasonable request but may not suit our needs. But nonetheless, I think it's a reasonable complaint and I think maybe we should address it (though it's unfortunate the person who started this thread did not bring it up here, but instead opted to go on Krapple).

Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:43, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

*I think, why bother? Who would really want to view an unbiased page about Chris? He is complete scum, and most people know it after barely skimming over these articles. I don't think he even deserves unbiased judgement. He threw that out the window ages ago. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 09:07, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

:*Champ, I think you have the right idea. NOTED is the thing, and we're not. EDiots put stuff in, you go round and change it. The tone is fine, and provided we don't wade outright into things, then CWCki can at least keep some degree of impartiality. We're here to document, not to actually troll Chris. That's what we have PVCC/cwc/edf for.

Being NPOV would be alot of work. Provided the humour doesn't go along the lines of "OMG FAT RETARD", we're probably doing alright for ourselves. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:31, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

Just clearing up a small misconception: [[wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]] doesn't mean "Good and bad views must be covered in equal measure". It means "If it's a fact that is covered in a reliable sources, it doesn't matter if it's positive or negative in tone - what matters is that it's a fact, and our job is to report it". In other words, facts speak up for themselves and we can't consciously choose to include either good or bad views, ''because that's what taking a point of view is all about''. So yes, I believe we can be neutral; for most of the part, we're ''already there''. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:15, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*If anyone knows about this shit, it's Wwwwolf being our resident Wikifag and whatnot. RPOBLEM SOLVED.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:49, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
:::With NPOV, i think CWCki would become a TL;DR collection, i recall some pages with a sarcastic point of view in them, and delivered all the info correctly, for example, in the page for [[ Sonichu's Edge]] we wuld have to remove the images, fan videos and remove "One can only imagine what the innocent citizens of Charlottesville must have thought as a fat, sweaty retard went puffing ...". To me, there is only 1 way to make CWCki interesting to read, POV is the norm.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 06:24, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Memorandum on Jerkop powers ==

With the exception of Quality Control Jerkops (at which moment there are no active ones), Jerkop powers are limited to deleting, moving, etc. pages only in regards to vandalism (i.e. vandal creates a page entitled "YOUR MOM SUCKS BLACK COCK" or uploads over 9000 Goatse variants). Jerkops have no authority to use their powers for editoral decisions. They are welcome to initiate the discussion of merging, deleting articles, as any other user, but they cannot use their powers to execute such plans.

Ultimate power for deletion and merging of articles belongs to admins. Admins, ideally, will recognize the will of the community but it is ultimately their decision.

I do not wish to name names but a certain Jerkop who deleted a page recently went beyond their powers and uprightly so. True, it was a sucky page that I would have deleted, but nonetheless I would have handled the situation differently than they would have.

Jerkops who wish to have Quality Control privileges can request them and interview for the position. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:42, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*I'm not even a Jerkop yet, but is there any way I could be come a Quality Control one? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 21:44, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== DVD Transcriptions ==

I'm working on transcribing the notes from the DVDs. I guess they're not absolutely needed, but would it still be ok to make a page for them? ChaosAkita 21:57, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Featured articles? ==

I noticed that [[Chris and anger]] and [[2009]] were both marked as featured articles, but there was no process of any kind; they just seem to have randomly gotten slapped with stars. If we're going to have featured articles, we need a rubric to determine what qualifies as "featured," and maybe a process to vote on what should be featured. See discussion [[Category_talk:Featured_articles#Use_it_or_lose_it|here]]. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 00:47, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

== Angelica 34 ==

What happened to that picture of Angelica [[mass debating]]? It's off the 34 page, and a search of the term "angelica" on every type of page turns nothing up.[[User:Wise dude321|Wise dude321]] 02:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)
:Nevermind, I found it. I went to the 110mb for the file. Also, I never want to do that again.[[User:Wise dude321|Wise dude321]] 05:12, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris is ending Sonichu ==

The ad on top of the Cwcipedia says he's discontinuing Sonichu. Either that, or I misread it. Does this mean what I think it means? If so, should we rejoice? Mourn? [[User:ninjaclown|ninjaclown]] 06:39, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
* No he isn't. Need I remind you who controls the adspace? (Hint: It's not Chris)--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:57, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
**I see. My bad then. [[User:ninjaclown|ninjaclown]] 07:07, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

== Stay safe ==

Seriously, I rage every time Chris says this. It's his generic parting catch phrase, because apparently "good-bye" or "see you later" aren't enough. Should we make a page on this, documenting every time he says it and listing possible theories as to why he's so obsessed with everyone's safety? This would also be a good opportunity to link to death threats he's made, especially to people he's told to "stay safe".

Thank you for your time CWCki, and stay safe. [[User:IanBrandonAnderson|IanBrandonAnderson]] 20:23, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

:I agree with this statement. Stay safe, CWCki. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 20:27, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Stay safe probably doesn't merit a page of it's own, but it's a good point, and it would be worth adding into another article there- It is one of Chris's stranger CWCisms, and it is a tasty piece of irony too. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:29, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

I'm thinking [[Minor CWC-isms]] maybe? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:19, 28 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, Minro CWC-isms is probably the place for it. STAY SAFE, GUYS. ONLY 44 HOURS 'TILL SHIT GOES DOWN. Assuming Chris has even remembered, that is. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 08:54, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Niggos

2010-03-19T12:36:13Z

JerichoJack: /* See also */

{{Quote|Sit, Spin and Shut the Fuck Up, NIGGER!!! And I WILL call you That RIGHT IN YOUR FACE!!!|Chris, [[March 2010]]}}

[[Image:Lynch_to_the_supreme.jpg|thumb|300px|Chris doesn't trust them [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|new niggas over there]].]]

[[Chris]] demonstrates [[Chris and race|many instances of intolerance and racism]], both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: his father, his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. '''Black people''', in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia.

==Origin of the word "niggos"==
'''Niggos''' is one of [[Chris]]'s many minced oaths, this one meant to refer to black people. His only known use of the term was in the [[Julie Reveals Herself|03 March 2009 chat]] where [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into saying ''"[[BILLY MAYS]] is the new mayor of [[CWCville]], and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers."'' Chris repeated the line as ordered, but (being retarded as usual) ignored his instructions and attempted to outsmart BlueSpike by saying "niggos" instead of the dreaded N-word. Yes, out of all the things Chris could have done (you know, refused to say the N-word, said "N-word" or "blacks" or "African Americans" or some similar term, bleep himself out, or just not be a retard and end the conversation) he chose to coin a retarded ''and'' offensive term which, as if to add insult to injury, sounds like a lame brand of cereal. (It should be noted that Chris's creativity was completely in vain. BlueSpike pointed out Chris's faggotry, and our autistic hero had to spell out "nigger" properly several times. He even got the hang of it, and started singing [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|"Don't trust them new niggers over there"]] on his own will, which he had done more than once before.<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary|Mumble 7]]</ref><ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5#Summary|BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> So much for respecting the minorities.)

As of now, Chris never again used the word "niggo", and probably doesn't even remember the whole incident. However, "niggo" is still considered a [[CWC-ism]], and is classified as a CWC-neologism.

In a video posted on his YouTube Channel on 17 [[March 2010]], Chris finally dropped the [[100 2151.MOV|N-bomb]], making him an official [[Chris and race|racist]]. The [[Surfshack Tito Emails|Surfshack Tito e-mails]], released shortly afterward, featured further use of the slur, suggesting that Chris has entirely gotten over the resistance he showed in his conversation with BlueSpike. Repercussions of this event are yet to be seen.

=="[[Evan|No Darkies]]"==
[[Image:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.]]
{{protip|Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". However, he has said "nigger".}}
Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] includes whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009]]</ref> Chris does not only tell this to trolls, however, he has told black [[boyfriend-free girls]] who are interested in him in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion". To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's psychiatric examination]]</ref> Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a BFG, much to his chagrin.

Some may argue, if excluding "darkies" from the list of Chris's potential [[Sweetheart|heartsweets]] is actually an act of racism and discrimination against black women. Quite possibly, it could be rather considered an act of racism and discrimination against ''white'' women, as they are specifically selected as the manchild's possible victims of stalking and harassment. Chris also stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

==Niggos in Chris's life==
[[Image:0242-CWC&VarsityBBallTeam97Color.jpg|thumb|Watch your back pocket, Chris!]]

There were some 12-15 year old black kids who frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855#p16855 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these kids.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered, "I mean your face down monster..."<ref>[[Mimms]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281#p17281 post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

==Niggos in the Comic==
In the [[Sonichu Comic|Sonichu Comics]] most black characters are villains who try to thwart Chris and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|his hedgehogs]] at every turn. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race related jokes.

===[[B-Manajerk]]===
A '''villain''' based off a real life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black – the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s. He is a cousin of the [[Jerkhief]], because obviously dem black peoples must know each other or be related.

===[[Barack Obama]]===
A cameo for the sake of '''a race-related joke'''. [[Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris believed as being a real rumor, approved of, and then illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8]]. Oh, and just in case you didn't think Chris was racist enough, he also drew Obama wearing a strange exotic dress and headgear, which probably was meant to imply that he is a [[Twin Falling Towers|Muslim]], just because his middle name is "Hussein". Chris later removed the joke after Obama won the election but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.

[[Image:Nigrachu.jpg|thumb|And he's black and he's black.]]

===[[Black Sonichu]]/Blachu===
A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain who later switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. Note that Chris doesn't give him a creative name, like Shadow, but thinks that noting his "blackness" would be enough (see B-Manajerk). Black Sonichu's story is quite (stereo)typical. He was brought to the CWCverse against his will, and [[Reldnahc]] (a white boy) quickly states that he is Blachu's master. Black then proceeds to steal a pink woman ([[Rosechu]]) and later a precious stone ([[Legendary Master Sunstone]]). Black Sonichu, compared to his yellow original, is considered inferior, and is all brawn and aggression while not being able to figure how to defend properly. Before his name change several characters made several ambiguous remarks when referring to him which could be interpreted as racist (including [[Wild|Wild's]] "I was following this black guy on a board..." comment). To Chris's credit, Blake becomes a positive character later, and even scores an interracial relationship with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Though the couple is forced to hide that fact from the intolerant society of [[CWCville]], and other characters do nothing to stop this travesty.

===[[CADD Chef]]===
A '''villain''' based on Christian's actual [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting & Design]] teacher, Kene Meniru, at [[Piedmont Valley Community College]]. Meniru gave Chris a F in real life (probably for Chris's "[[Chris_and_English#Spelling|geinus]]" building designs) and is portrayed as a [[JERKS|jerk]] who always complains about the buildings in Cwcville. Given how bad Chris is at [[Chris and Art|drawing]] the CADD Chef's comments are perfectly understandable. Note that Chris thought it was more important that Kene Meniru was black than that he was a teacher, and decided to portray him as possibly the [[Fail|only black cartoon character he was familiar with]], even though that character had no other similarity to Mr. Meniru than the color of his skin.

===[[Silvana]]===
{{incomplete}}

===Minor(ity) characters===
*[[Florance Fisher]]
*[[Jerkhief]]
*[[Inos]]
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]]

==See also==
* [[Chris and race]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:People]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-19T12:18:21Z

JerichoJack: /* Only 25 pages till the 1,000 mark */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]]

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::** For added hilarity, may I suggest changing the article of the now to the [[Homos]] article? This may provoke Chris into making another attempt to "Sort out fact from fiction" at the best and make him rage at the least.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**Worth a shot. I know its a gamble, but if theres anything we know about Chris, its that he hates da homos, and especially hates being called one. It'd probably get us quite a lot of information. We thought we pretty much had Chris and his ideas of reality all summed up, and then we discover he honestly believes cartoons are real. I remember thinking, 'How the fuck did we not know that by now?' So who knows? Maybe we could get something fresh out of his stance on homos yet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:25, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**He went back and forth constantly during the Asperpedia saga, what with curing them and blowing them up and appoligizing the very day afterwards. I doubt we'll get anything more interesting than him blanking the Homos article and leaving the line "I am STRAIGHT YOU GODDAMN HOMO TROLLS!" on that front. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:58, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**You never know with Chris. Failing that, what about the article on [[Snorlax]]? We could always use more information on her. Or he'll just blank it and replace it with "LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE" and then we'll put the rule 34 the drunk drawfag made of him and Snorlax on his userpage. It's a good day when the best case scenario is "Chris tells us more information" and the worst case scenario is "Chris becomes angry".--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

===Clarification===
Based on a post someone made on Krapple, I think I might need to clarify what I was saying.

There's two basic approaches to how we can react to Chris:
# we fight him
# we ignore him

Any plan more or less boils down to one of these two, as I see it. Let's say we decide to turn this into a struggle - then we're going to self consciously self censor ourselves, which is something I refuse to do (save for someone's personal well being is at stake, see [[Wallflower]]). In fact, I'm not a fan of some of the edits people have made before. I personally doubt that Chris will suddenly take credence of things said on the CWCki when they've been said before on ED, on the ED forum he supposedly reads, the numerous calls, e-mails, letters, etc. from white knights trying to tell him information, etc. It's implied in pretty much all the sweetheart articles that Chris's sweethearts are all trolls. Yet Chris ''still'' believes that these were all TRUE and HONEST women who were attracted to him and suddenly died for various reasons. Aside from documenting Chris, CWCki serves to dispel misconceptions about him and the trolls that surround him so we don't have faggots spouting the same memes over and over.

Okay, so we really don't need to self censor - there really doesn't seem to be anything indicative that Chris will take what we say with any more creedence than say, ED or any faggot who gets through to him. Chris bringing attention to CWCki makes us a very valuable target for white knights. No, not faggots who genuinely want to defend Chris, I'm talking about faggots who want to gain Chris's trust and will assume that Chris will see their CWCki edits and reward them handsomely so they can get their 15 minutes of e-fame. Vandals get shot down usually fast here on CWCki but it's a bit of a bitch still.

There's a reason why people trust CWCki over ED and other sources about Chris. It's not because we look legit or anything like that. It's because we have ways of doing things. Edits are not whims. I heard some EDiot make fun of us because we use "citation needed" because we're that serious. If you're going to make an outrageous claim about Chris or claim he said something, you better be prepared to say where and when. CWCki is serious business. Probably part of the reason is because we're mostly independent of trolling - this isn't PVCC where if you piss someone off, you're banned. We're not Krapple either. CWCki is generally free to do its own thing. People are allowed to express themselves freely.

So what does this mean? It means that CWCki should stay CWCki, not an elaborate trolling pawn. It is far better that we ignore Chris or at most stand our ground and remain a valuable, less biased, accurate source of information about Chris than to devote our time and energy into making the CWCki into an elaborate way of trolling Chris. I'd rather not see people censor themselves and go to great lengths just to troll Chris with CWCki when such efforts could be used more constructively.

Let's see how Chris responds. If he puts up a fight, then we might do something. If not, then we can carry on as business as usual. In fact, we should be trying for business as usual. March Mumble Madness is still on, and plenty of the [[:Category:Mumble chats|Mumble chats]] still need to be transcribed. Don't worry about Chris discovering shit, just focus on the stuff you'd do any day. You CWCki admins are what ultimately make the CWCki so great, and I personally admire the time and dedication many of you have put in.

In the event Chris and/or white knights vandalize CWCki, jerkops, in addition to myself, Cogs, and Clyde will be on high alert for the next week or so.

In many ways, we are trolling Chris by not giving into his ego - the problem sometimes with creating villains for Chris is that it feeds into his delusion that he's some sort of hero and that he must defeat his villains to achieve his ultimate prize. In short, preserving the CWCki as it is and maintaining its integrity is our number one priority. Anything else is secondary.

Good night, CWCki, and good luck. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeh, it seems to me the correct response to all this is as little response as possible. Personally, I reckon that anybody expecting some kind of apocalyptic confrontation is going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, practically speaking, what can Chris do? Rage and complain a bit, try to blank a few pages perhaps, maybe put a curse on cogsdev. Not much else. Then the laziness will kick in and he'll go find some other way of making an ass of himself. As for the notion that he might actually learn something from reading the CWCki...well, if there's anything I've learned from reading and contributing to this site, it's that Chris believes what Chris wants to believe. There's not a hell of a lot here that he wants to believe. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 18:48, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

* I do agree that the CWCki needs to stand up against the vile manchild, because as soon as he sees that the CWCki isn't going anywhere, you know he's going to go on a warpath like he did with his ED page, and the ED website. But on the other hand, actually doing something may spread more fuel on Chris's fire, and that's something no one wants. Chris will think that this is just like the ED page, and this is like an arch rival he has to overcome again. My advice(if anyone is interested), I wouldn't do anything to provoke Chris, and just be polite about it, and not get into trolling him, because that may make things worse, and I agree it would ruin the CWCkipedias reputation, and I respect the CWCki too much to see that happen. But knowing Chris, he will do anything to take down the CWCki, and he's going to do it any way he can, so, at that point we would need the cavalry to come in and do the trolling for the CWCki, and put Chris in his place as always. But overall, I don't think he can do much at all aside from more Jewtube videos and BAWWWWs on his own CWCipedia quotes. Sadly for Chris, the CWCki isn't going anywhere, and for Chris, that may be the biggest insult of all. - Chris Pickles

*Well, its after the deadline, and i'm not seeing any response from Chris. He must be taking his time. I'm going to bed now. Maybe when I come back something intresting would have happened. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:51, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**He said Midnight Eastern Time, it's still 11 Eastern Time. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 03:55, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**Plus, we don't know how long it will take him to realize that we aren't removing the articles. We can either post the "Chris, we have nothing to do with the loss of the Wallflower" note further down on this page or make [[Bob]], [[Snorlax]], [[Lies]], or [[Homos]] the AOTN so he may be inclined to "assist" in expanding those articles..--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:24, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***It's 20 minutes past midnight, eastern time. Once again, Chris failed to keep a promise. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:21, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris seems to check in on the internet at least once per day--he did his like forty minutes before the deadline, so we'll probably get our reaction whenever he does his next sweep. Could be that he's gone to bed and will check when he wakes up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:27, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
== Posse commitatus ==

Any able bodied CWCki user who feels they can regularly monitor CWCki for recent changes in the next week or so, please contact me for a special assignment.

Current jerkops, please be on full alert. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be home all day tomorrow and I'll likely be available this weekend. I'll help out as much as I can. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll gladly help. I don't really have anything important to do. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Recently registered but very long time follower of Chris Chan (Back when ED and the sonichu home page was all we had) and lurker around here since the Cwcki's inception. Will also gladly help, I may be unavailable starting tomorrow for 2-3 days but after that I literally have all day every day free for a while. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 05:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

:*P.S. Contact info is available on my user page. Please contact me privately, guys, if you really want to help.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

: possibly I get out of school early and will gladly help Message me on the details --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:45, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Reporting for duty Ma'am.I work from home and online anyway, so I have all day to monitor.-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:25, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== The Response(s) ==

I was told to put this on the Cwcki yesterday. It's a little late

''Dear Chris.
We of the CWCki site have seen your demands and would wish to respond to them.
First off, the CWCki's function is documentation, not trolling. We believe that your own CWCipedia does not fit all the criteria for being a wiki (only two people may edit) but is rather an online autobiography, and a rather one-sided one at that. We have filled this gap by creating an open and comprehensive documentation of you and your work.

Secondly, we of the CWCki pride ourselves in the accuracy of our articles. We strive constantly to attempt to check and double-check our articles for any errors. We have made no attempt to twist facts or lie in any way. If there is anything on our site that you believe is a lie, please let us know what it is.

Third, we never sent any message to your "girl friend", and we did not have any intention to. The person who sent the message is a third party member with no known ties to the CWCki.

Fourthly, since your "girl friend" ran away as quickly as she did, and since we go to great lengths to make our articles as accurate as possible, we are suspicious that you may have deceived her in some way. After all, if you were always telling the truth about yourself, why would she break up when she saw what she already knew?

Finally, we did not force your "girl friend" to leave you, she did that out of her own free will. We do not entirely understand why you are so angry at us for this.
Hoping our further communications will be on more friendly terms,
The CWCki''

:Well, could it hurt to make the Article of the Now into something from the Web of Life template(preferably Snorlax)? I'd like it if we could spit in his face at least a ''little'' bit before this is over.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:59, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Made some edits. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:47, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::*It looks fine to me.
::*I love this. Quite the perfect stance the CWCki need to take. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:19, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* You should make Bob AOTN - that way Chris will probably make some sort of statement on ihs health.--[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 22:46, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Either Bob or Snorlax would make a nice AOTN, but I'd prefer Snorlax on the off chance Chris tries to edit her page. He seems to have forgotten that we know what she looks like.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:56, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* All right, now that we seem to have the message settled, how are we going to give it to Chris? Do we place it somewhere on the CWCki? Do we email Chris? Or are we gonna do something else?[[User:Kraken|Kraken]]
:** We can put it right below the featured quote, he'll probably notice it there. Changing the featured article to Megan or SheCameForCWC.jpg is also an option.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:00, 13 March 2010 (UTC)

*Not to be a dick guys but c'mon, giving a formal message like this is contrary to the stance we're going to take. Giving Chris a response is feeding into his ego, even if it's a simple message. In any case, I have taken into your considerations for the Article of the Now, but personally, I was thinking [[Patti Chandler]] and with the most offensive fan art (one of the one where she's raping Chris or something like that) as the article of the now. Failing that, then maybe Snorlax. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:39, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Thinking about it some more, I was a bit hard headed. Tell you what - if Chris pushes the CWCki thing so much, we'll make a video of this in addition to the quote of the now. That's if Chris responds, mind you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Demands ==
Well, I think it's clear that he didn't even click on some of the articles--half of them are stubs to begin with. Also, he's extended his deadline and doesn't get why Heather had her article removed. Also the Hambeast has a name now. Who wants to take action?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* As usual, Chris puts absolutely no thought into his threats or demands, and has no intelligence to begin with anyways. There's nothing he can do to the cwcki, once again, Chris is fighting against something that he just has no power over, and it's completely beyond his control. My advice, I think we do need to fire back at Chris with something, just to show that the CWCki isn't going anywhere. I think we need to add some stuff to the articles he's complaining about, and improve them, maybe add some more details and maybe even revise some of the pages completely. I think that would stick in Chris's side pretty good. It's not what I would consider "Trolling", but just to show Chris that the CWCki is boss, and we do not have to do anything he says just because he doesn't like it. I would hold off on any kind of video response or direct action from the CWCkipedia, I think silence will kill Chris more. --[[user:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 05:12, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

*I disagree. While the theory is that giving him a response would just feed his ego, I think the discovery that the trolls made an entire wiki all about him was already enough to do that. I say we respond. I think we should use the letter to Chris seen above on the featured quote page as a way of telling him to fuck off. While we're at it, go about improving those articles as you said, and as was sugested, make Megan, or another 'Gal-Pal' the article of the now. If need be, we make the video too and put it with the featured quote. If he keeps quiet then we'll spare him the video and just leave him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:36, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

** You know Edward, I changed my mind, I agree with you 100%. I do think we should come up with a formal address to Chris himself via the front page of the cwcki. Something special for both Chris, and avid readers of the cwcki. Something sophisticated and swarmy I think. Insulting him would be pointless, but I think if we made a direct, formal address that doesn't pull any BS, and just gets right to the point, that would be awesome. At some point, the CWCki has to make its stand against Chris(because we only have till the 31st until chris UNVEILS HIS WRATH ARRGH!), and make it aware to people that no one is backing down. I just don't know what that address should be though, I guess it's something left up to the sysop to decide on, but it should be something that's well constructed, and just pisses Chris off as well. I mean, the guy just made a video admitting he's so desperate he would pay for hookers and begging for a girlfriend. So, there's no real reason to hold back, but I say represent the best of the cwcki. --[[Chris_Pickles]] 03:11, 15th March 2010 (UTC)
*** I think we ought to make it obvious to Chris why the pages have just been protected--you just know that his ego is going to twist that in his favor.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:05, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

* I'd go with Snorlax for maximum damage--he put a lot of emphasis on ALL OF MY RELATIVES and Bob/Barbara have the largest articles. He's freaking out about this because he's afraid that his parents are going to find out that we know about them(He didn't think we knew what they looked like). Snorlax especially, since she's adamant about staying off the internet. For bonus points make "SnorlaxCameForCWC" the image of the now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:47, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** SheCameForCWC.jpg is also another option. Imagine what happens when Chris discovers that the hated image has it's own article. Also, I know someone has Rule 34 of Jivin, so we could make that the IOTN. Failing that we can use the rule 34 Isabel made of Magi-chan and the "Redesigned" Asperchu!Magi-chan.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Thats not two Magi-Chans. That image is of Magi-Chan and Swift, the exact Magi-Chan duplicate that Chris created while attempting to retcon Asperchu. The image is actually called 'Hecameforswift.png.' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* Why don't we just pretend to follow up with Chris's demands again? Even though it has been done before, I think it could be interesting to see what his reaction would be if we took the stuff out for a day or two. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 07:22, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*And having Chris switch into "Smug Mode" for a while? No way. Besides, he's creating the most Lulz when his whims are denied. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*NEVER COMPROMISE, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ARMAGEDDON.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:01, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**No. We do not negotiate with terrorists. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:19, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's nowhere near as funny unless he's screaming or breaking the camera. I'm still hoping for a video where he's both naked and screaming.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:34, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
** Nah, giving into his demands, even as a joke, would just feed his enormous ego more, and we'd obviously see a video of Chris touting a "win" over CWCki. Standing against the manchild and essentially giving him a big "Fuck You" would be a lot more satisfying (And it might deflate Chris's ego slightly.....Well, we can dream) than a quick switcheroo. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 10:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

== Page protections ==

In light of Chris's demands, I have opted to protect all of the pages he listed on CWCipedia. Reasons are twofold:
# to prevent Chris from editing them once he realizes that he can, you know, just get an account the pages.
# to prevent white knights, faggots, and other assorted idiots from complying with Chris's demands.

Whatever may come of this, CWCki will not comply with Chris's demands, as doing so would be a violation of the principles CWCki and wikis in general stand for.

I apologize for the page protections, but I feel this is a reasonable precautionary measure that may ease up the workload of our jerkops and admins who are already on high alert. If you feel you have information that must ABSOLUTELY go in the article, post it on the article talk page and an admin will determine whether to sort of it out.

Protections will last until 01 April, and depending on Chris's responses may be extended slightly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== 500 internal server error ==

500 internal server error is completely fucking me up, there are moments that I can hardly edit pages because of it. I'm sorry if we allready have discussion on it, but we need more. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:34, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that those errors are annoying the shit out of me. In fact, I got one just now when I was trying to edit this page. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Thirded-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:28, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I know. This shit is annoying. Possibly the most annoying thing i've come across on the internet. And I've seen the 'Who broke the copier copier copier copier' ad. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:23, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Guys, just refresh or whatever. This is nothing compared to how shit used to be when we were on 110mb. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:05, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
::*fixed? maybe [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:33, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*It's better than it was yesterday. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:34, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
* I have learned to love those errors. It will slow down vandals and even Chris if they show up to mess with the CWCki. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:40, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
*Just wanna say I dig the new error pages. Funny stuff, nicely done. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 14:18, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== TV Tropes page? ==

Should we have a page on the various TV Tropes pages of Sonichu, and the fact that Chris is a ''god'' in the Trope Pantheon ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces under Disgraces, the God of Bile Fascination, to be exact])? He's fourth from the bottom on that page, but for the sake of simplicity I'll list his "god" info here, as exact as I can make it:

<blockquote>
'''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Christian Weston Chandler], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination God of Bile Fascination]''' (CWC, Chris-Chan Sonichu, Ian Brandon Anderson)
* Quasideity [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo that thinks he's an Overdeity]
* Symbol: His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu] Medallion
* Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
* Portfolio: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible Comics that are unreadable] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination but that you can't stop coming back to], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Using narrative to prove his righteousness]
* Domains: Animal, Envy, Hatred, Lust, Pestilence, Sloth
* Rival with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces David Gonterman] for all his portfolios.
* Other enemies: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheImageboardThatMustNotBeNamed "4-Cent Garbage"], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Technology Sonic The Hedgehog], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Beast Pikachu], Anyone in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Justice Justice] for being Jerkops.
* Chris-Chan used to spend his days lurking in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Love Love] but was banned. Ever since then he has sworn revenge by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished drawing them getting beaten up by him]
* Position: None. Apparently the other Disgraces keep him around so they can look good in comparison.
* Chance of Redemption: Slim to none.
</blockquote>

Who knows, maybe this "amazing honor" can be used in the "Did You Know..." section if a fake Chris-appeasing main page is used once the deadline passes? Just an idea. --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 22:56, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

:Please don't. TvTropes doesn't have an easy revert function, so when he shows up to try editing it will be a pain in the ass to clean up. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 00:29, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

*We already have a link to the TV Tropes page in the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comic]] article, I think that's good. People interested in these tropes can refer to TV Tropes article for that purpose. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== Essay on CWCki ==

Someone wrote a [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/26862.html pretty decent] essay on CWCki for a totally legit college class and posted it on [[Krapple|/cwc]]. Check it out. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:10, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* That person is made of win. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:39, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
* The gentleman deserves all the proper honors we can award him for this paper.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:17, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris thinks I'm Tito ==

if you like reading fake info, check the history --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*(Removing my comment so I look less like a moron. Mostly just skimmed it because of WALL OF TEXT.) -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 09:09, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

*yeah, okay [[User:Batty|Batty]]. you didn't even try to make this look real. get the fuck out. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:16, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

**just seemed to be copy/pasted from the transcribed videos, most likely just attention whoring. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 09:21, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

::*Banned for great justice --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 12:36, 18 March 2010 (UTC)

== Only 25 pages till the 1,000 mark ==

Will we celebrate somehow? --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:35, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be sure to go get drunk, if that's any good. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 12:18, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

Talk:"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

2010-03-15T10:47:51Z

JerichoJack: /* Chris is getting desperate for china */

I'll transcribe this I guess. BITCH? [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:17, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:Everybody knows that BITCHES need transcribing.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:21, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Damian==
Is he talking about the wallflower? [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 19:20, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:Yes. "Damian Antaria" was a pseudonym of some sort, hence the speech marks in the vid title. [[User:Xentrilus|Xentrilus]] 19:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:: I know it was a pseudonym, just asking to be sure about the gal pal being wallflower. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 19:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Chris is just too stupid to resist dropping the dox of other people on the internet. Of course, it's futile to tell him how bad dropping dox is, since he refuses to listen to anyone other than himself. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:33, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Someone needs to explain to me in very simple terms how can we keep on censoring Chris. I mean, he's INSISTING on dropping WallFlower's name and aliases all over the place. There's little that we can do. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:48, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Maybe when the CWCVille Library mirrors these videos involving the Walliflower, we can ask them to censor her name and upload those videos here instead to keep our promise of censorship for her sake. --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 04:13, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* If the poor gal could keep him on a leash we wouldn't have this problem. Sadly, if she contacted him again, even just to say "for fuck's sake stop splattering my name all over YouTube," he'd probably just think that meant she still wanted him after all... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 19:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Bloody stalker. That's it, I am out of here; I need a beer! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Okay, we're overthinking this. Let's keep her name in the videos and the transcripts and continue as usual. If she complains, we tell her to take it up with Chris--we're just documenting what he says and he insists on dropping her name. We may also need to remind her that the names "Heather" and "Damian Antaria" are not directly linked to one another and the article discussing her connection to Chris has been edited for anonymity.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:17, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
==Chris is getting desperate for china==
Soon he'll probably just upload a video demanding china.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 3:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:I'll lol hard if he does that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 19:52, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah I would, but seeing as this is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] we're talking about it seems like he probably will either just claim he got laid even if he didn't or go mad saying that the sex with Lovely Weather actually did happen.-- [[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 19:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* How fucking awful is it when, even when not talking to Chris, we use the phrase "china" instead of pussy, and nobody cares?[[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:44, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
** It's a clear sign that we're all on this website too much. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 10:47, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Fun Fact==

Chris posted his threats to Surf Shack Tito around 3 am his time, and this video around 3 pm his time. He's wearing a different shirt, suggesting that he woke up around 2 in the afternoon, depending on how long it takes Chris to put on a different bra and shirt. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 20:05, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Isn't it possible that he woke up earlier and got dressed? Then again, if he's up at 3 in the morning making death threats to second rate Nickelodeon cartoon characters, does it matter?[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 23:00, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

When does he talk about women loving men who beg? I don't see that anywhere. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:54, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Chris doesn't; that's just an observation by the editor because Chris keeps saying please -- [[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 02:03, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

User:JerichoJack

2010-03-14T11:27:20Z

JerichoJack:

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358x;">{{Britfag}}{{Eurofag}}
</div>

An alcoholic and slightly unhinged Scot, JerichoJack spends his days finding the truth at the bottom of the Jack Daniels glass, finding excuses not to work, and being a Grammer-Nazi on Wikis.

He's also raging at Chris for stealing his country's traditional dress and butchering the accent so thoroughly.

Talk:Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!

2010-03-14T11:21:48Z

JerichoJack:

Okay, where the hell did he get a kilt? I know it isn't his drapes or something like that since he's got a sporran and everything. And as far as I know, he and his family have little to no Scottish heritage. So did he go out and buy this for the express purpose of this stupid video? -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 09:18, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*probably. maybe we should stick the tugboat template on top lol [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:23, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
**Where did he get the kilt you ask? Goodwill. Also, he's English-American, and the last I checked, England=/=Scotland. Or Ireland. -PeaceCeapPea
::* I doubt he'd spend money on it. He probably had it from a costume or some shit. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 09:31, 14
::* Last time I checked, "British" = England, N. Ireland, Wales and Scotland. So including the Scots bit in "Brits, Irish and Scots" kind of defeats the idea. His 'Scottish' accent also is notably cringeworthy. I find it an insult the manchild is trying to associate with us. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 09:50, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:::* "Great Britain" doesn't include Ireland, just England, Wales and Scotland. The "UK" includes all four though. [[User:FourPLUStwo|FourPLUStwo]] 10:27, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
***@Rubidium I'm an Americunt, and I know nothing about British culture. Although, I do know that England, Scotland and Wales each have their own distinct cultures. I don't think a kilt is an appropriate display of English ancestry. Then again, this is Chris-Chan we're talking about. -PeaceCeapPea

*Now that I think about it, this seems to be part of an apparently new obsession with Celtic culture; first we had "Mo Ghile Mear" in the background of a video, and now a kilt and "Ireland's Call." I'm starting to think that maybe Heather is into this, and he picked it up in order to have something in common. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 09:39, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

March 2010 (UTC)
So it seems Surfshack Tito is a troll who's been contacting Chris directly and somehow got his attention, and has now claimed responsibility for the Heather fiasco. Although Chris says he's a mutual friend of Scarlet, who I could only find mentioned [[Chris's Big Night Out II|here]] briefly. Although is anyone else kinda impressed Chris could 'kick' that high? Seriously, last I saw he could barely get his feet up to thigh height. Also, important quote "Regain the love, and trust, and friendship of heather". So semi-confirmation that she got freaked out and has broken off contact with him. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 09:35, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Let this be a lesson for everyone who was worried, when the Wallflower left and Chris made that first distraught video, that the show was over. Chris is like the fucking Terminator. You just can't stop him from doing something hilarious. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 10:17, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

As a Scotsman, I am raging at this video so badly right now... [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 11:21, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-11T23:30:24Z

JerichoJack: /* So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]]

== Welcome to the future ==

Welcome to the glorious future of MediaWiki 1.15.1! MediaWiki 1.11 was really old and busted.

Here are some of the things people should be aware of:
* This version of MediaWiki uses a new markup parser. It's a ''stricter'' parser that works a little bit differently from the old one. Which incidentally means that if you have broken markup somewhere, it might have worked in previous version, but it doesn't work any more at all. You may see a lot of articles that have broken <center> tags. Make sure they're properly balanced!
* There are a few new features that we might put to good use. One is <nowiki>__HIDDENCAT__</nowiki>. You can use it to hide categories that are purely for ''editors,'' and don't actually have stuff that benefits ''readers''. For example, it's used in {{c|Stubs}} and {{c|Articles needing citations}} now.

I'll probably post more when I get inspired. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:19, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
: Some help needed at {{c|Templates}}. Some frequently used templates had consistently broken markup and have missing </center> tags. They also use <table> tags instead of MediaWiki table tags. Take a look at what I did at, say, [[:Template:Needs Images]] to see how to fix all of these, for the GLORIOUS FUTURE. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:37, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

===<nowiki><center></nowiki>===
I'm pretty sure the (center) thing comes when people put a <nowiki>{{quote}}</nowiki> inside a <nowiki><center></center></nowiki> tag; quote has its own center tags included, so when MediaWiki parses them both you get two open tags and two close tags. One of the open tags, then, is rendered as text. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 01:10, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*Problem can also be avoided by changing the 'center' tag on [[Template:Quote]] to CSS; I'll look at it later. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 14:59, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*That's more difficult than I expected... looks like '''<nowiki>{{quote}}</nowiki>''' is going to remain cludgey for the time being, until somebody more patient/learn'd than I takes a crack at it. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 01:30, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

===Broken refs===
Similar issue: Some articles may use <nowiki><ref></nowiki> tags without corresponding <nowiki><references/></nowiki>. Previous version was silent about this, but new version puts a giant big red warning in the end of the articles. If you see it, please add a source section! --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:48, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and/New pages==
There's a lot of newfags, which isn't a bad thing but I think some people who decided to get into editing CWCki since we moved to the new server and who really haven't gotten a feel of how we do things around here. For starters, a lot of people want to start making pages which can be alright, but the problem is that they really don't get when a new page is warranted and when it's not. Particularly, it seems like the "Chris and" series is drawing a lot of attention to this regard.

For starters, let's discuss the "Chris and" series of articles. I think I might have actually come up with it, now that I think about it, mimicking how CWCkipedia might have an article like "x and y" to discuss topics that are too in depth for the main subject article. For example, there might be an article called "Thomas Jefferson and slavery" to discuss his views on slavery since it's such a huge topic that can't reasonably fit in the main Thomas Jefferson article. Same deal here - we could in theory mention this shit on the [[Christian Weston Chandler]] article but that would be huge, especially for topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]]. It would be awkward to call something like "Chris and sex" just "sex" since people know what sex is, what they want to know is Chris's relationship to it.

I think the problem is that every single trait of Chris does not need a lengthy discussion unless it's very notable. Do we need a full page discussion that Chris isn't reliable when it can simply be said "Chris is not very reliable"? Likewise, there's a need for a degree of subjectivity - what is reliability? It's not like Chris sets any deadlines to make. Furthermore, not everything has to be "Chris and." As I said elsewhere, pretty much every article on here could be a "Chris and [x]" article. [[HOMOS]] could easily be "Chris and homosexuality." [[JERKS]] could be "Chris and men." [[Women's rights]] could be "Chris and feminism." Point is, not everything has to be "Chris and." For fuck's sake, be original. Think of a better name. For example, "[[Chris and facts]]" could easily be called "The world according to Chris." Unorthodox but more original.

About new pages in general, seriously, not every little thing about Chris deserves a page if it can be incorporated into existing pages. As long as it's mentioned somewhere, it's cool. Srsly.

Feel free to weigh in on this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:26, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:I like the Chris and: Series, I really do, but It's really only for things that play major, consistent roles in the bizarre story of Chris-Chan. Chris and writing is a good example. The way Chris writes is just so impossibly fucked up that it deserves more than just a single mention in the main chris article, but calling it just "Writing" is weird and awkward.
:I think some of these new articles could really go far. Chris and Authority seems like it could cover an awful lot, but people really need to draft their articles in their sandboxes or talkpages to show what they're aiming for instead of just making a page with the title and a half-paragraph.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:36, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*I have a mind to try a 'Chris and competition' article. Covering not just in regards to how he feels entitled to win all competitions, thats covered in Chris and his ego. I was thinking also about how he views things that he dislikes negatively because he believes it competes with something he does approve of, Such as with the whole 'Aspergers vs Autism' fight that he seems to believe exists. Or his strange idea that Harry Potter sucks for competing with pokemon, even though Harry Potter is a book and movie series and pokemon is a game and anime series. I'm not too sure about whether or not to go ahead with it though. I think it may end up being rather small. Do you think I should go for it, or incorperate it into another article? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:12, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I say go for it. It's one of those weird quirks (of Chris) that we don't really understand because we haven't taken much of alook at it. Maybe start with a thread on /cwc/ to get more ideas/opinions about these things before you start writing. There's also how Chris 'competes' against other boys in his fuck quest, that might already be covered elsewhere, but maybe you could go more in-depth. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:34, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

==Asperpedia==
[[User:Clydec|Clyde]] has started Asperpedia, the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL wiki for [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]], the electric hedgehog Pokemon with Asperger's syndrome. From what I've gathered from Clyde, it's going to be like a cross between CWCki and CWCipedia. As there's many gifted wiki editors here, I encourage all of you to help out there (particularly with uploading all the comic pages of Asperchu onto there).

Ideally, big things will come from this, wink wink stomp stomp nudge nudge. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:03, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*I'm such a dumbass, here's the [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page link]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:13, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
**I lol'd--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 06:39, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

==Quality control jerkops==
I have just promoted [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] as the CWCki's first Quality Control Jerkop to patrol the CWCki to ensure high quality Bavarian standards for CWCki (i.e. pages don't suck). There will be a 30 day probationary period, ending 07 February 2010 so he will have to prove in that period he can help maintain high quality standards for CWCki.

CWCki strives itself on providing top notch info about Chris and the idea is that these new Jerkops will assist in making sure the CWCki doesn't suck and the information is accurate.

Godspeed to Griffintown and if you have concerns about article quality, be sure to mention it to him. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

:*I would like to thanks Champthon for the great mark of confidence he did to me by giving me the extra powers needed to keep this place clean. If any member of the CWCki community feels the need to discuss any of my decisions here, please leave me a message on my [[User talk:Griffintown|talk page]]. I am ready to listen to any comment that can make the CWCki site a better reference on everything Chris-Related. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:28, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

I have also promoted [[User:Dude|Dude]] (formerly [[User:Umad|Umad]]) to Quality Control. Same thing as Griffintown, same probationary period. That's it for Quality Control promotions at the moment and I'll review how they do at the end of their probationary period to see if they remain permanently. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:52, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Thank you very much. I have recently been occupying myself with formatting issues and finding homes for [[Special:UnusedFiles|Unused Files]] (thank my meticulous Swiss ancestors), but I will now start being more proactive with page organization and content as well. Please do not hesitate contact me with thoughts, questions, suggestions or critiques! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:12, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== Fixing internal links pointing to the old site ==

Apparently people used [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Special:LinkSearch&target=http%3A%2F%2Fcogsdev.110mb.com%2Fcwcki%2F&namespace=0 tons of internal hard links to the old site]. Most of these are simply attempts to link at "tricky to link" entries, like categories and images. (Hint: You can make a link to a category or image if you prefix the link with a :, like <nowiki>[[:Category:Something|Category of Randomness]]</nowiki>.) The above link lists all such links in main namespace, which is pretty important. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:15, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

== Stuff that Chris didn't do ==

[[Chris and racism]] currently has a PROTIP that says that Chris never actually used the expression "darkies". It reminds me: Should we have some sort of list of stuff that's often ''attributed'' to Chris, but never happened in real life? (Some other examples that spring in mind: Chris hasn't used the word "niggos" regularly, and he didn't actually have 100% trophies in Sonichu 2006.) Or should we just have some template like the PROTIP template, like this...
{{Box
|title=<div style="text-align: left;">GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL:</div>
|image=Furyofmywrath.jpg
|img_border=1px solid rgb(170, 170, 255)
|img_width=90
|img_height=90
|border=rgb(170, 170, 255)
|head_bg=rgb(170, 170, 255)
|bg=rgb(255, 255, 255)
|width=450
|color=rgb(0, 0, 0)
|text='''Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.'''
}}
Ideas? --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 19:26, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
*I actually like this a lot. This is a good thing for actual distributions to Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:45, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:*The protip thing, that is. It's kinda like a little "Did you know?" thing but should be restricted to common misconceptions about Chris (like the darkies thing). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:14, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
I think it needs the word INDIVIDUAL, for some reason. I think it's fine. Chris is a complicated animal and some of the more subtle things, like race relations, are open to misinterpretation. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:13, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

This is a most excellent idea. The template is catchy and allow proper info to flow through. I will use it in the future [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:20, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

== Unofficial Mailbag 41 project ==

I was originally going to have it so Chris would receive e-mails meant for Alec Benson Leary but instead, I did something more plausible by paying tribute to this [http://hrwiki.org/wiki/huttah! Strong Bad e-mail] by having every e-mail talk about Asperchu. Post e-mails in the same vein [[User:Champthom/Mailbag_41|here]] and I'll post them. '''Only rule is please, don't alter the first four e-mails.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:02, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
*P.S. Deadline is like, in 24 hours. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:05, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

== DPF call? ==

So [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJgbVrFasxk these videos] have gotten some attention and it seems like the real deal. On the one hand, some of the people in the call seem like huge fags. On the other hand, there seems to be some nuggets of truth in it. So, should we make a page for this? Consider it "apocryphal?"? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:41, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
*I can't listen to them right now, but I guess if an EDF idiot calls Chris and records it, it's our burden to transcribe it. Also, why the hell don't we have pages for Kacey Calls 2 and 3?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:56, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

== Suggestion: New category ==

Do you guys think that there should be a category for Chris-related media that has appeared publicly? By which I mean things like the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] or the [[McIntire Park]] video that appeared on TV. Basically, anything that's NOT exclusive to the internet. [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 22:01, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
* The two radio shows that featured him could go in that category too, if they had their own page. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 22:29, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Actually, there was a 3rd radio show on satellite that mentioned him. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:40, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
**Got it started. I also added the articles that were printed in Nintendo Power, for good measure. [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 23:44, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

== Mailbags vs Simple Questions ==

I think Clyde already made a suggestion along these lines weeks ago, but can't we just replace the mailbags with series of simple questions? Most letters in the mailbags either: (A) insult Chris such that he deletes him, or (B) mix easy and hard questions such that Chris answers the easy questions but conveniently ignores the hard ones. If we replaced (or supplemented) the mailbags with series of questions (and more focused ones than what we're sending now), we could actually get Chris to answer tougher questions. Plus, less reading for Chris = a quicker turn-around time for answers = more opportunities for us to interrogate Chris about specific subjects. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 02:31, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
*Clyde's original intent was to replace the Mailbag with the questions, hence why he wanted to phase out [[CWCki:Operation Mailbag|Operation Mailbag]]. Unfortunately, Mailbag is a popular feature on CWCipedia and it's more or less devolving into a way to troll Chris than to get genuine information from him. Difference approaches to trolling are at play, I'm afraid. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:52, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Links to articles in heading ==

I think other pages do this, but I know this is particularly the case in [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. I'm not sure if this is good wiki style, as generally a heading shouldn't have a link but rather have a "Main article" link - for instance, the subsection of Sonichu really should have a note that says "Main article: Sonichu" for those who wish to delve into Sonichu. However, we can if we truly want to keep it like it is, but as I've said, let's try and mimic good wiki style. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:55, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Name for CWCki users? ==

Dumb thing to talk about, but any idea for a good term to describe CWCki users? Originally, "CWCkipedians" were used but that's confusing since there's now [[CWCipedia]]. "CWCki users" is used in some cases but it's a bit bland. CWCkians? CWCkifags? You people probably can come up with something better than I can. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
:CWCronologists. Christorians.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:52, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
*I like Christorians. We already use the term "Christory", so it makes sense to use this too. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:43, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
*I am sold to the "Christorians" term. So classy. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:07, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
== Today in Christory ==

You guys have really made a mess of the [[Template:Christory|Christory template]] in January! 20+ red links, I'm ashamed! Ofcourse, I'm partially to blame, but I was travelling and under stress and stuff, whilst all of YOU GUYS were playing with your xBoxes and wanking and doing the shit your kind tends to do. So, anyway, I just created all entries for February, but that doesn't mean you can slack off and ignore this again, you lazy editors! Whenever you find time just make a bunch of entries for march and beyong. Get it into your [[autism|routine]]. It's fun. Love and peace. [[Template:Christory]] :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 01:48, 30 January 2010 (UTC)

== 500 intenal servic error. ==

I keep getting these when clicking links. Is this a problem on my end, or is the website having trouble or what?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:21, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
: It's the website's fault - sometimes the site is a bit flaky, especially if you hit potentially intensive operations like page history or RecentChanges. Just try again. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:21, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
:Getting the same. Just hit [back] and try again. lol, I got one trying to post this. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:45, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

== Suggestion: A Chris Inactivity Chart ==

Similar to the tracker on the front page for the comics, I think it would be nice to have a tracker for the days that Chris seemingly disappears off the face of the earth. Ever since things... escalated on his CWCipedia, he's been quieter than a North Korean dictator after a stroke. It might be nice just to have an official record of how long our glorious leader goes without making a statement to the masses. May I suggest "'''All Quiet on the Weston Front'''"?
-- [[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 08:35, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*I support this. Its a good idea for a main page feature and its a fairly good pun as well.--[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:08, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting idea, but it may be annoying to update it daily to show when Chris isn't inactive those times when he seems to update stuff every day. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Even if I hated this idea, I would support it for the sake of the pun. (And I happen to love the idea.) [[User:Llort|Llort]] 20:58, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

==Quintin Tarantino==

Would anyone be up for an article comparing Chris to Tarantino? Both are insensitive plagiarist, I think something good could be done here.
*No. Sign your comments--[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 18:41, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

== Piping ==

Someone, do me a favor - take [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Piping this] and rework it to make it relevant to CWCki.

Seriously, I am tired of fucking shitty piping. "Lack of female companionship" should not pipe to [[Virginia is for Virgins]]. I would personally pipe it to "virgin with rage" or something like that. There's too much shitty piping going on and it needs to stop. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:04, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

* How's [[Help:A Guide to Piping|this]]? [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 02:47, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

== Special assignment ==

I have a special assignment for the CWCki for those who wish to accept it. Prerequisite is you have a LOT of free time.

AIM me or contact me in #sonichu (details on my [[User:Champthom|user page]]) for more information. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:32, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

== Coca-cola ==

Considering how much CWC mentions coca-cola and his whole tangle with the company, should a Coca-Cola page be started? [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 08:15, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
*This isn't the right place to suggest new articles. Also [[CWC Cola]] and [[My Coke Rewards]]. I guess that should cover most relevant shit on sugary kiddie-drinks, so no. :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 03:25, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

===Announcement===

Since no one has risen to the challenge to be a temporary admin, instead I'll just say that until Tuesday, I'll be traveling and thus unable to monitor the CWCki. If there's some dispute how to do shit, sort it out amongst yourselves. If shit gets serious, then ask [[User:Cogsdev|Cogs]] or [[User:Clydec|Clyde]]. But ideally, I'm sure you're all big boys and girls and can sort things out yourself. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:27, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

== We should start a forum dedicated to Chris Chan's failings. ==

The CWCiki is awesome, I will admit. However, I have an great idea that if implanted correctly, will make the forum a success.

Someone here should start a forum dedicated completely to all of Chris Chan's failings. We can talk about anything Chris Chan releated and a lot more.

Does anyone agree? I'll start up the forum if so. [[User:Super Smash Bros. Fan|Super Smash Bros. Fan]] 21:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
*How would it be different from [[/cwc/]]? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 21:52, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Or [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] (aside from the fact they aren't letting new people in, though MAYBE cogs will let you in if you edit the CWCki, but I doubt it)? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:55, 1 March 2010 (UTC)

Not only other people are doing it better but any Forums based on Chris-Chan will drag some crowd from ED. As much as I love them, I don't want to see 13 y/o EDtards uploading their crap all over the CWCki. Yes, I am a sad bloke but a forum is not worth the extra effort. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:02, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

== Actual Wikipedia Page? ==

While the CWCki is a great source for information on the failure that is Chris, shouldnt we make him more... accessible to a mainstream audience? What im saying is that I believe the mastadonic level of Chris's failure throughout his life is legitamately noteable by the standard of Wikipedia at this point. He could easily be regarded as an "Internet Trolling Victim", and if the article is written from this perspective chances are the Wikiadmins will pass it. Share your thoughts. [[User:Gettanonymous|Gettanonymous]] 17:53, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
*Some people are gonna be like "WE DON'T WANT NEWBS TROLLING CHRIS" but that's not why I'd say that a Wikipedia article on Chris would be a bad idea. Essentially, based on [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Notability|notability guidelines]] on Wikipedia, for someone to be notable, you need for starters significant coverage and reliable secondary sources. To be honest, we're not really reliable since we're pretty biased as fuck, and Chris in the scheme of things isn't really that popular - he's been on maybe one, two big blogs but other than that he's mostly been on ED, random YouTube faggots' pages, etc. There's a lot of bigger Internet celebrities who don't have their own Wikipedia page and it's not the end of the world that they don't have them. Not to mention people regularly try to start a page for Chris and usually get shot down fast and frankly.
:I think CWCki does its best to present Chris to the mainstream better than say, ED. Just because we work to document Chris's fail does not mean we're on some sort of mission though to spread the word or anything like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:07, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
::It probably is too soon. But the harder Chris fails the more the public will start looking at him. Its only a matter of time before making a wikipedia page titled "Chistian Weston Chandler (Serial Rapist)" will be justifiable. [[User:Gettanonymous|Gettanonymous]] 18:12, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
:::This is the problem we have. Websites like ours or Wikipedia are pretty reactive. They are accessed by those seeking info. We are not pushing any messages out. For me, trying to put Chris-Chan up on Wikipedia in the name of accessing a mainstream audience is a moot point. Yes, I am waiting for Chris to produce an "Exhibit A" anytime soon. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:18, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Talk:The Wallflower

2010-03-11T17:36:08Z

JerichoJack: /* Pimp Claim Responsibility */

Okay faggots, listen up. No personal details. Ever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:14, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Gotcha. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:18, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Am I missing something here? Didn't Chris just inform us that this girl is no longer interested in him, with Message to the Trolls? So why are we locking down details about her now, when EDF can do no more damage? Or is there more to this?--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 01:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'm sure that she got some sort of email/phone call, but we don't know enough about her or the situation to assume that she's fully out of the picture. Until then, it's better to have less info than too much info. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:24, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
Some explanation please? I mean, all the other galpal articles have info, what happened here? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*i have received a message from wallflower herself asking for her info to be removed. while i'd rather not remove any information, at the same time, the article was focusing on personal details about the wallflower that weren't at all related to chris. since i'd rather avoid any trouble here, i've complied with her request. this new article should be used purely for chris-related information, since she is part of christory. if chris uploads information, then you can add it here, but don't add anything you found through internet investigation or whatever. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 01:28, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
** A'ight, but can we have a background on the story on cwcki? You know, what happened for them to break up and stuff. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 01:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*** There's no break up as far as I know. But I'm sure something must have happened between yesterday and today. We can document the drama but be vague. Example: Dedicated trolls found her information and then Chris got mad. Real mad. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Does this mean all the sweetheart pages are going to be changed? -PeaceCeapPea
*****Most of the sweethearts were trolls. Megan avoid this site like rape, so I don't think we need to worry about it. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 02:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Why are we doing this? Didn't Megan ask us for her dox to be taken off the internet? How do we know the message wasn't sent by a troll or a white knight?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:12, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Have you seen the latest video from Chris? He found the CWCki. I guess "WallFlower" used Google. Another thing; Chris volunteered the info we got on him. She dint. We dint passed the Dox of other sweethearts or made fun of them as we did with her. Just for this, It had to be removed. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*My apologies for deleting this page this page. I just woke up and I was confused about what the fuck was going on. I thought some faggot thought Chris was talking about two different girls. I absolutely agree with Cogs one hundred percent, if Wallflower requested this page to be taken down, I think that's a humble request given that the article was a threat to her wellbeing. It's not so much trying to cover our asses, I really can understand that the Wallflower (unlike Megan, who really didn't have much of an online presence) would have trolls be a very real threat and unlike Chris, she probably doesn't feed off negative attention.
:I regret that I did not address the dox in the pages. I really wasn't a big fan of having her Facebook, MySpace, etc. profile on there, aside from Chris related issues, mostly because we don't do the same thing for Megan and we shouldn't encourage faggots trolling Chris related people who have little to do with Chris.
:I think one lesson from this is we need to discuss some sort of privacy policy for CWCki. A less brash version of Clyde's dictum is that we should possibly treat pages about people only from the Chris universe perspective, that is how Chris views them and sees them as opposed to digging into personal details from online investigations. But yeah, people, let's not do shit like post MySpaces, Facebooks, and don't post people's personal information unless Chris posts it on the Internet for everyone to see. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Seems fair enough. There was, in retrospect, no hope of keeping a lid on this whole thing, I think, no matter how much or how little personal info got posted here - as soon as her given name got out there, it was inevitable that some goof was gonna link her to this or to the ED page or to the sex doll video or whatever else. But that seems like a good policy for simple decency's sake. I apologize for getting carried away with all the links on the page yesterday. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 12:59, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

*I think the wording of this article should be more explicit as to how and what kind of idiot it was that contacted her over all this. I mean most EDF retards won't read krapple or PVCC etc. but they do read the Cwcki, and it might help in the future to have here an example to hold up of what exactly happens when you go the JULAYYY route of trolling. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 02:37, 11 March 2010 (UTC) 02:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

**Who cares about it, it seems something else is stirring within Chris. Guess he still has it out for me. Hmph. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:57, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

***I think we ought to be more careful with the information we post here. Most if not all CWCki contributors are either on /cwc/ or PVCC, but the readers are partially dumbasses (not just from EDF, I presume) who will fuck shit up. Yes, it's a shame this happens, but ultimately we are to blame here. It was very obvious the CWCki article on her would lead to someone contacting her. Documenting information is important, but perhaps there should be some articles protected from viewing? I don't know. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 10:48, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*combine with the sonichu crystals to the [Wallflower] page?? [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 10:23, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::no they want that page gone, that's why it's over here without any references to her personally. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 11:03, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::oh, i see. whatevss [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 11:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*Yeah, I thought the same thing so don't feel bad. tl;dr is that Wallflower asked for it to be removed and Cogs complied, because it was a reasonable request. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

==Srsly though...===
To improve the article:
# Wallflower really isn't a sweetheart. Nothing public about this yet but as most of you can tell, she's more or less Megan - because she has managed to be around Chris for more than five seconds, Chris takes this to mean sexual interest and a serious relationship.
# We need a pic of a Wallflower. Like, literally, a flower growing out of a wall. Not a drawn pic, but an actual photograph. Shouldn't be too hard to fine, just don't feel like it now. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

==Pimp Claim Responsibility==

This bloke known on YouTube as "ThyEnvysGreed" claim he's the one who [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRr-N5_V_9s alerted wallflower]. What should we do with this faggot? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:33, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
* It's possible the guy's full of shit and just taking credit for something. Going by the comments 'they' have been making, this is quite likely; his 'group' seems to be out to make a name for themselves rather than just have a laugh at Chris's expense. Aside from that, just do what everyone seems to be doing already; spam his comments informing him of what a massive prick he is and that he should lay off the fucking donuts. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 16:51, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**I agree with the comment spamming, just piledrive him into the dirt. He fucked up an opportunity for some awesome shit. I would understand if he were trying to get a laugh out of messing with Chris, but he's just looking for e-fame. I say we don't give him that much attention unless it's totally negative.--[[User:JRampancy|JRampancy]] 16:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'll need to find the picture I saw on /cwc/, but he also had an account on Fanfiction.net and I think that's how he alerted her, since I don't think they allow anonymous reviews anymore. And it was the same screen name.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Well gentlemen, I believe it's time to do what we do best. IT'S TROLLING TIME, LADS.[[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 17:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2010-03-11T17:26:15Z

JerichoJack: /* A Precious Farewell (01:29:35 - 01:31:10) */

In [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first, and only date ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment, here.

The voices heard in the recording are that of an elite crack team of courageous trolls and trollettes.

==Cast==

'''Frosty:''' A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

'''Camwhore:''' "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

'''Emily:''' Queen of trolls, she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

'''Pickle Man:''' Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

'''Chris:''' Misshapen manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

'''Bob:''' [[Bob|Robert Chandler]], the proud Internet lumberjack, yet also slave to the manchild.

==Transcript==

Throughout the recording, a mall full of shoppers produces a background din.

===Prelude (00:00 - 03:12)===

'''Frosty:''' Okay… lock it? 
'''Frosty:''' Okay-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Are you wearing a thong? With a-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' That better be fuckin' ''tight''. 
'''Emily:''' It's tight. 
'''Camwhore:''' That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-- 
'''Emily:''' I should be like-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Or a robotic vagina. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' Say "It's my vibrator." 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's one of those things that you see taped to those-- those hentai-- 
'''Frosty:''' Well, the thing is, Chris-- he [unintelligible (but clearly imitating Chris's voice)] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! 
'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's, like, ''way'' too close to me, I'm just gonna be like-- get my chair farther away. 
'''Camwhore:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' I really like your [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs''] Maybe Barb-- Barbara can come. 
'''Emily:''' Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I'm just [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' There-- there are Barb candidates ''everywhere''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. But-- but in all actuality, there should be no Barb; if there ''is'' Barb, I will shit myself. 
'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're-- we're done. 
'''Camwhore:''' We're not showing up. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' "You brought your mommy?" 
'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No – just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today." 
'''Camwhore:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' That's it. 
'''Camwhore:''' And you can call him and be like "You owe me a ''dire'' apology, and you're the… jack-off--" 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him ''cry''. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' And I'm gonna be like "Oh – I live in Clyde's playboy mansion now." [''laughs''] 
'''Frosty:''' No – even better! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] I'm waiting. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm ''part'' of Clyde's playboy mansion. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm the janitor. 
[''all laugh loudly''] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – let's go see if he's there. 
'''Camwhore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there. 
'''Emily:''' ''No!'' 'Cause-- 'cause it's-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible (but about "a girl")] 
'''Emily:''' 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… ''"Hiii!"'' 
'''Pickle Man:''' Did he say where [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' No. Like, he wants to be-- he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so… 
'''Camwhore:''' Figures! But the ''general'' idea would be you park near where you wanna… go. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' What if that [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a penis. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' The balloons. Right here. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's a fuckin' penis. 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' Nope. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''sighs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [''sighs''] 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl… at Starbucks. 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Camwhore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl. 
'''Pickle Man:''' ''Which'' one looks like Hamster Girl? 
'''Camwhore:''' Right there. The only one that you can see working? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Oh – over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off. 
'''Camwhore:''' No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm telling you: you should see her with that hair off! 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she don't have no hair? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Um… 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she has a fake-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this. 
'''Camwhore:''' Well, yeah – I knew that. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I was gonna say: I don't-- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

===Target Acquired (03:13 - 04:43)===

'''Frosty:''' There he is! 
'''Emily:''' [startled] What? 
'''Frosty:''' [unintelligible (but about "a jacket")] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God! 
'''Emily:''' [jokingly] Eject! Oh my God! 
'''Frosty:''' Is your [inaudible] on? [unintelligible (but clearly about "a jacket" again)] Are you ready? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm ready. [''laughs nervously''] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' He can't see my face before I suit up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – go, like, look, 'cause he has to get down first. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' He'll realize later: that's what it was. 
'''Camwhore:''' I don't feel bad. 
'''Emily:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and-- [inaudibly interrupted] Huh? I don't have my phone. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Um, there's some ''benches'', like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – there's some benches, like, ''nearby''… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? 
'''Emily:''' Um, just sit and watch him [unintelligible] you need to go change or whatever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. Well, I-- I started the-- I [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. I'll [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''exhales loudly''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

===The Green Mile (04:44 - 05:19)===

Nothing but Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.

===Meet the Parent (05:20 - 07:17)===

'''Emily:''' ''Hi!'' 
'''Chris:''' Hello! Emily? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you! 
'''Chris:''' Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert. 
'''Bob:''' Hello. 
'''Emily:''' Hello. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' I've started shopping a little bit. 
'''Chris:''' That's alright. 
'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I used to live here for a while, but then, I-- 
'''Chris:''' [abruptly] Hey! 
'''Emily:''' But then, I moved to-- 
'''Chris:''' Cute hat! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I thought you might like it. 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs contentedly''] 
'''Bob:''' You go to school over there? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – University of West Virginia. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' That sounds like the best way to do things! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, Emily – you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together? 
'''Emily:''' Sure! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' What are you taking? 
'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism. 
'''Bob:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' ''Journalism.'' 
'''Bob:''' Journalism? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Ah! You wanna be a writer! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''giggles''] I did a lot-- 
'''Bob:''' He has a… [[Cole Smithey|''half-brother'']] who's-- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does ''freelance'' writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines. 
'''Emily:''' Is it-- does he love it? 
'''Bob:''' I ''guess''. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles again''] 
'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I can't this dang camera to work! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – that's-- I worked at, uh-- I'm an engineer… and engineers never learn how to spell. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I think very logically, but I-- 
'''Chris:''' Shoot! I got bad batteries in the camera. 
'''Emily:''' [disappointed] Oh… 
'''Bob:''' If I would-- if I would ''write'' anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… ''supposed'' to do. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' I got along fine… writing stuff… on my ''word'' processor… when I had a ''spell'' checker. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Without that, I'm [unintelligible (but clearly self-deprecating)] [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering? 
'''Bob:''' Well… I-- I had a real ''u-''nique situation… 
[pause]

===Bob's Work History (07:18 - 16:58)===

'''Bob:''' Look, uh… I'm-- I'm really old. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Okay – to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along ''before'' transistors. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Not-- not [unintelligible] stuff we have now, but even before ''transistors''… when we had vacuum tubes. 
'''Bob:''' I, uh… got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh… then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone [unintelligible]. So, I found out: yeah – I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out – 'course that was in 1947 – I found out-- now, I know that we had a deflation on our hands; I didn't know it then. 
'''Bob:''' You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school." 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – now, it's really hard to become an engineer. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – now, ya-- I, uh-- 
'''Bob:''' I went to… a state [unintelligible] college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing ''I'' ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh-- well, I got-- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And also, I loved music, and I was in the band and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to Auburn, and then [unintelligible] swallowed up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, at that time, Auburn-- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students. 
'''Bob:''' I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh… I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and [inaudible]. I'm gonna work for Western Electric." 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' That seems logical, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [suddenly offended somehow] Hey! 
'''Bob:''' Because they make, uh-- 
'''Chris:''' You-- no – you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from ''him''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Especially my ''technological'' intelligence. 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, I, uh-- I went to work for them for 40 years, and, uh… at that point in time… 
'''Bob:''' Uh, this is even ''before'' the Atlas missile… the ICBM. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Before'' the Korean War… and, uh-- but, I-- I found out they were building ''radar'' systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, ''nothing'' was automatic. They ''had'' none! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, that's what ''I'' went and built. [unintelligible] what I learned in the army, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, GE heard about it… and they came down to [unintelligible] in North Carolina. 
'''Bob:''' And-- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' And then, uh… I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [unintelligible] Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!" 
'''Bob:''' So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic…equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' But-- but I got-- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, that must be really different! [''laughs again''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [unintelligible]" Well, GE-- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural ''draw''… to the mountains. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [unintelligible] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had plants there. 
'''Bob:''' And… they were there developing-- specializing in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any ''automation'' yet. They were just industrial-controlled. 
'''Bob:''' So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines. 
'''Bob:''' So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do ''all'' the great things. All my-- I-- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because I am very ''logically-''inclined. 
'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – and I-- I'm a logician. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I ''use'' 'em all the time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [unintelligible] steel for your cars. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then-- then, I got into-- I was in the new business area [unintelligible] we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of-- of, uh, like [unintelligible] warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world. 
'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot! 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-- 
'''Chris:''' Want some water? 
'''Emily:''' No, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' And, uh… then, uh-- then, um, I got into… I developed [unintelligible] I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic. 
'''Bob:''' Anyway, like the ands, and ors, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I developed a system… called a [inaudible] that stands [unintelligible]. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Hardware-oriented Y2K pile of junk! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Similar fortune… was in… ''hardware''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody – I got [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables-- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible (but clearly addressing Emily)] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] Thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables everybody to do-- and me, too, but I was lazy… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Was to write down on-- on paper – and design on paper from the start – a sequence of parallel lines. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper. 
'''Emily:''' [''half-stifles a genuine laugh''] 
'''Bob:''' And they ''still'' don't, really! [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy. 
'''Bob:''' Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft hole! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, I got into, uh, designing… ''scooter'' machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Scooters. And then, I got into… die-cast machines… and the machines automating ''them''. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got into ''plastics''… and even the ''plastics'' were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… ''two'' patents [unintelligible] in ''my'' name that ''they'' own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Come off the line in New England. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] on it, and all these [unintelligible] ''doors'', and-- and, um… ''shutters'', and stuff like that made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] in your frames! 
'''Emily:''' Yep! [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' Including, uh, Tupperware. 
'''Emily:''' Can't… go without Tupperware… 
'''Bob:''' So, then [unintelligible] ''finalized'' and-- and perfected, basically, this [unintelligible] process… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Of design and documentation. [unintelligible] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' So, now, I'm ''un-''indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not. 
'''Emily:''' I think you did! 
'''Bob:''' But I can't-- 
'''Emily:''' You did a lot of things. 
'''Bob:''' I can't spell the word "cat" without a K in it. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, well, y'know, [[Chris and his ego|I'm proud of him anyway]], for his [[fail|accompliment]]-- accom-''plish-''ments. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' He's got a ''half-''brother who [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' ''His'' son. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' okay. 
'''Bob:''' And he's got a-- and I have a daughter, who is his-- his half-sister… that's a… Phi Beta Kappa outta UVA Atlantic. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a PHD now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these math people… I dunno.

===Retired Life (16:59 - 24:22)===

'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I'm not that-- 
'''Emily:''' That's why-- 
'''Bob:''' I'm good at ''logic'', but not at math. 
'''Chris:''' But ''I'm'' good at math! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' He's not good at math when it comes to managing money. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – look! Hey – look it! I have… ''your'' plastic lid on it! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for 27 years. 
'''Bob:''' It was a challenge. ''Most'' of the time, I've been retired, so I could [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – well, I, um… I did-- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I just, uh-- I-- but I enjoyed my life. It-- it, uh-- it-- I had… things; I had-- I had opportunities that most people don’t get. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I got to see all this stuff now. 
'''Emily:''' That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know… write up-- do some journalism, like, overseas. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve been to Australia, and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to England. 
'''Bob:''' ''Most'' people [unintelligible] to see 'em, but [unintelligible] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, it-- it was interesting. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I wish I could get-- find out what ''Christian's'' really good-- well, he’s pretty good in drawing… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And writing. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he-- she should know; she-- you’ve-- you should know; you've seen a bunch of [[Chris and art|my artwork]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! It’s really good! All my-- all my friends like it, as well. 
'''Bob:''' [[Chris and copyright|He’s ''creative'']]… but he’s, um… I-- I guess you know he’s-- [[autism|he's high-functioning autistic]]… and, um… 
'''Chris''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' At 6, he couldn’t even ''talk''… but he was… ''programming'' [unintelligible] computer: his Commodore computer… 
'''Chris:''' Commodore 64. 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs''] Which was his first little-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know very many-- much about computers! [''giggles''] Sorry! [''giggles some more''] 
'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' [reluctantly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah – but you-- 
'''Bob:''' Now, we've-- we-- we’ve brought him a long way. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' It’s been interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… well, that’s a little piece for you-- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! That-- that would be interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Anyway, you-- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way? 
'''Emily:''' No – I came all the way from VCU. Um… like, a lot of my fr-- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "Sonichu Girls"… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k-- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week. 
'''Chris:''' Wow. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country. 
'''Chris:''' [responding belatedly to Emily] I commend you for that. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] little trees on West Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Have you heard of West Avenue? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area. 
'''Bob:''' They're at the end of VCU, then? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] I don’t know that area very well. 
'''Bob:''' It’s-- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley". 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally". 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? Oh… 
'''Bob:''' At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – but-- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to ''his'' mother. And, um… ''he'' was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I ''love'' West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I call it "Sesame Street". 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that’s… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I-- I-- I love the Virginian area. 
'''Bob:''' His ''mother''… was raised – but you wouldn’t believe it – she-- she was raised in a [unintelligible] home. And one that's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the Burger King… down at… VCU. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know what… streets really are-- 
'''Bob:''' Well, again-- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And right down the street from there is where… ''his'' mother lived for about 20 years and raised her first son. 
'''Bob:''' And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… do you guys have a big family? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got-- we've got ''my'' son, and my daughter. 
'''Bob:''' You-- my son’s in Richmond, and my daughter’s in Washington. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And then, we’ve got ''her'' son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Schiflett's a really big family. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – we got… two-- really, two separate families. 
'''Emily:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… but it’s not as big as The Brady Bunch! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' No… it isn't. 
'''Emily:''' No. 
'''Bob:''' But we-- we-- we enjoy it, and I-- I have-- uh, I grow flowers. And… I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' With Social Security, and… the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' So, uh… I-- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And in the middle, I’ve got a, um… well, about 15 [unintelligible] greenhouse. 
'''Emily:''' Oh? 
'''Bob:''' Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Inside this greenhouse, there’s ''plastic'' flowers. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – ''plastic'' flowers? 
'''Bob:''' A ''swing''… and, uh, all my ''stereo'' stuff, and, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but he’s got ''real'' flowers in his garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. Oh, okay. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – day lilies bloom about once a year, during-- dur-- about ''once''-- 
'''Bob:''' In the summer. 
'''Chris:''' This-- this summer. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' There-- there's also that-- 
'''Chris:''' And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, I can imagine! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-- 
'''Chris:''' [dreamily/creepily] ''Imagine!'' 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And I-- I love all the music from-- from [unintelligible (but seemingly naming a pair of musical artists)]. 
'''Chris:''' Raise me on music, he did! 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and musicals. And soundtracks. 
'''Emily:''' Well, what’s ''your'' favorite artist? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss-- uh… ''singer'' is Britney Spears. 
'''Emily:''' Britney Spears? 
'''Bob:''' And, uh, he's got all-- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-- 
'''Emily:''' And he’s into… more ''modern'' pop music? 
'''Chris:''' Although… I guess if I had to pick a ''classic'' favorite, it would have to be ''Satchmo''. 
'''Emily:''' "Satchmo"? 
'''Chris:''' Louis Armstrong. 
'''Bob:''' And-- but [unintelligible] all these big ''classics'' now-- 
'''Chris:''' [''does Satchmo impression''] "Ten feet off the ground!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' [''imitates trumpet melody''] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when it came out. All the European [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when they came out, 'cause they were [unintelligible] but now, you can get 'em at Goodwill and Salvation Army… 
'''Emily:''' Well-- 
'''Bob:''' A ''quarter'' to ''fifty'' cents apiece. 
'''Emily:''' [feigning enthusiastic agreement] Yeah! [''laughs weakly''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Thousands'' of them now! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… ''greenhouse''… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' It's got a ''dome'' ceiling… which gives it the ca-- ''cathedral'' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' Well… I found this ''great'' stereo system at, uh-- in the 1970s, at Goodwill… and put ''it'' out there… along with the swing. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' And… if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they ''recorded'' it! Ah – it's great! 
'''Bob:''' Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end! 
'''Emily:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' That must be really relaxing! 
'''Bob:''' Well, yeah – it's a nice life! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely'']

===Bob's Health Problems (24:23 - 25:29)===

'''Bob:''' If I didn't have to worry about ''him'', I'd be in ''great'' shape! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs sympathetically''] 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs nervously''] [unintelligible] But he's been-- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible] I mean, he's been in-- he's been through, uh, ''three'' triple-- ''two'' triple-bypasses? 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I was supposed to ''die'' in 1980. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! What happened? 
'''Bob:''' In fact, I ''did''. 
'''Emily:''' What happened? 
'''Bob:''' I smoked too much… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' I did all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah-- but yeah – he-- but yes – uh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' God let him survive! 
'''Bob:''' I had a couple heart attacks, and… 
'''Emily:''' [responding to Chris] Yeah – for a reason! 
'''Chris:''' And he's got a pacemaker now! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… I-- I've been through-- I lived through a triple-bypass in 1980 [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' And survived that… so, [[Chris and death|I've only died a couple times!]] 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got-- I got through that. 
'''Bob:''' Then, ''he'' came along. 
'''Chris:''' Hey! He come-- 
'''Bob:''' And then, I-- I got retired… 
'''Chris:''' Hey! 
'''Emily:''' Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – hey – he's the one that's b-- that has seen the light, but did not actually go ''to'' it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' A ''number'' of times. 
'''Bob:''' I had ''another'' triple-bypass in '92… 
'''Bob:''' And I died a couple times [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County. 
'''Emily:''' Oh…

===Memories of High School (25:30 - 26:12)===

'''Bob:''' And, uh… when I was over there with him, I-- I put him to school through, uh, ''Chesterfield'' County's school system. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Bob:''' Well, they're the best in the country… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' For-- for schools [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' And-- and, um… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High. 
'''Emily:''' [disinterested] Oh, really? 
'''Bob:''' Then, um… 
'''Chris:''' That's my birthstone: [[Amnyfest Ring|amnyfest]]. 
'''Emily:''' And the ''side'' of it… 
'''Emily:''' What does it say: "Lancers"? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Is that-- wait – is that your mascot? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Then…what's on the other side? "2000"? 
'''Chris:''' Yes… that's my class and coat'a arms. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High School. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and [[rainbow|a rainbow]] on the bottom. If you look at-- in the ring-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see-- 
'''Emily:''' I see it! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see the rainbow? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. [[speech impediment|Well, anyway, like, y'know,]] I guess that's enough-- y'know, that's enough talk from ''him''. Uh… you were gonna ask… 
'''Emily:''' Aww… 
'''Chris:''' ''Me'' something?

===The "Sonichu Girls" Club (26:13 - 29:01)===

'''Bob:''' Now, I wanna find out about these… ''Sonichu'' Girls! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Sonichu Girls? 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause I didn't know about them. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – didn't… Chris tell you about them? 
'''Bob:''' No – he doesn't-- no – he doesn't normally-- he doesn't… ''tell'' me much about them, so… 
'''Bob:''' See – he's a-- he-- he and his mother stay up all night… and I stay up all day. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Uh… actually reminds me more-- actually, we're more-- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night. 
'''Emily:''' So, you've got, like, ''mixed''… like, sleep schedules, I guess? 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… my mom-- and my-- my mom picked up my bad biological-- my messed-up [[biological clock]]. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' She stays up all night! 
'''Bob:''' But anyway… I-- I-- yeah – I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone… 
'''Emily:''' Oh! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and left a message. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it's a pretty big fanbase. Um… there's actually about-- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club. 
'''Bob:''' Hmm! 
'''Emily:''' And then, there's-- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that-- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have? 
'''Bob:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Do-- you got one here in UVA? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know… [''giggles''] I don't have very many friends at UVA. 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' That's why I heard-- that's why. 
'''Bob:''' VCU's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Y'know, I was curious about this-- this club… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' I-- I didn't know he even knew about it! ''I'' didn't know about it. I think it's great! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – I've been on the Internet chat! And plus, y'know… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Y'know, certain-- 
'''Bob:''' Plus [[medallion|the ''medallion'']], Christian! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… um… 
'''Bob:''' He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! Why-- why aren't you wearing your… [suddenly concerned] m-- medallion? 
'''Chris:''' Um… I just believe I expressed that, uh… in a video on, uh, YouTube? But I-- I, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I might've missed that; I'm not sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – um… I'd rather not say in front of-- I'd rather not say in front of ''Father''… but, uh… 
'''Bob:''' There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have ''another'' heart attack… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have-- you don't-- it saves you one face to have to look at! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually ''green-blue''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I see it! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment! 
'''Emily:''' Wow… I didn't know that… could happen! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Yeah''… looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I thought they were just plain brown! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's just that-- y'know, it's-- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible]

===Emily Isn't Hungry (29:02 - 29:58)===

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but ''anyway'', uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh… you hungry? 
'''Emily:''' Oh – no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – you-- 
'''Emily:''' Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m-- [''laughs nervously''] vending machine snacks… and that's it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Oh.'' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' That's good; uh… ''Father'' was thinkin' about, like-- was gonna get us ''spaghetti'', and, uh… [truly flustered] we wanna sh-- we wanna split it be-- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh… I'm gonna split mine with you… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though! 
'''Chris:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We usually split a spaghetti, 'cause I-- I can't eat it all! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… it's a really big bowl for him… 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Really… ''whoop!'' 
[''Emily laughs and Chris chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' It's not as big as I'd like… y'know… it's bigger! 
'''Emily:''' No… [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' Let's see… well, Dad – why don't you go get your spaghetti? 
'''Bob:''' Do you want some? 
'''Emily:''' No. I'm-- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… we could get you some ''water''. 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm not thirsty, as well. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay – well, go ahead and get your sh-- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father. 
'''Bob:''' Alright.

===Bob's Health Problems Revisited (29:59 - 32:11)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah – I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' Since we've talked about it: on that, uh… I've died about five times now. 
'''Bob:''' The last time, I was at Golden Corral. The restaurant? 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' And… my mom was there with him. 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] I just… hit the floor! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! 
'''Chris:''' No – not really; uh… he was-- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c-- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Chris:''' And he would've… hit a-- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he-- if my mom wasn't there to catch him… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Chris:''' His-- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Would've been worse off! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, wow… 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Wow. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and ''that's'' when he got his pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' I guess that won't happen in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But I-- I think the [unintelligible] reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm ''proud'' of… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' I don' t know about you. 
'''Chris:''' ''He's'' proud of it. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'm'' proud of it. I don't know whether ''he'' is or not. 
'''Chris:''' I'm proud of him, for it! 
'''Bob:''' But I'm, um-- I found out a few years ago-- about… 10 or 15 years ago… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' That I was… at least one-fourth Cherokee! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I figured that-- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligibile] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over ''100'' sometimes. 
'''Emily:''' Dang! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' This ain't my time yet. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c-- for ''my'' case. 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta look out for him! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' [''cackles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''cackles almost identically''] 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta pay the bills! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay, Dad, uh… you s-- alright, Dad-- 
'''Bob:''' Now-- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously yet again''] 
'''Chris:''' Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm a little hungry myself… 
'''Chris:''' So… [''laughs nervously''] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread. 
'''Bob:''' You sure you don't want something? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, I was concerned, myself. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] Then, I'll come back, and… 
'''Bob:''' If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you! 
'''Emily:''' I don't mind. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' You better tell me more about this club you've got! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[''Bob walks away'']

===Chris Fails at Flirting (32:12 - 36:48)===

'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, you-- uh… I must say you look ''good''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you! 
'''Chris:''' And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s-- uh… summer break. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' We might take a road trip down here. 
'''Chris:''' [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' [''does terrifying Donald Duck impression''] "And this is my duck talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… at the-- 
'''Emily:''' At Wendy’s. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know how that’s scary. 
'''Chris:''' No – not-- not-- no – not-- really scary; y'see, he was ''tired''… 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… okay. So, you… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D-- classic Disney character. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… you mi-- you don’t mind if I t-- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder? 
'''Emily:''' Uh, not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] "Not for too long". 
'''Emily:''' ''Okay''… not-- not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' Okay… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''chuckles again''] This is like-- wow – I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] Thank you. 
'''Chris:''' And she's like-- and she actually got to know ''me''. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Just, like, y'know, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. So… what’s your-- what's the reason you need ''your'' glasses for? I’m ''near-''sighted myself. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m nearsighted, as well. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t have very good eyes. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] It's like, y'know, we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Do we? 
'''Emily:''' Hmm… no – it's still blurry… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want-- I'd like to see the, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I-- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today. 
'''Chris:''' Oh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m sure. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' How’s my hair look? 
'''Emily:''' It looks good! 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Looks good. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Boy – I've had it sleepin' against ''pillows''… and I took a shower before I went-- before I went to-- um, crashing on the… couch. 
'''Emily:''' [slightly disgusted] Oh… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I put on some, uh, bod-- body s-- some [[Axe|Axe body spray]] before I left. Do you like that smell? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it depends on which one it is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Uh, which one is it? 
'''Chris:''' I believe it's, uh… it's called "Proximity". 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I ''really'' like the choc-- the new chocolate one. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – the, uh, "Dark Temptation"… 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' Oh – I was running low on that can anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… okay. 
'''Chris:''' It's like I-- if I-- if I-- if we-- if we was hookin' up, I would've gotten more of that! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[Note: Chris both stutters ''and'' laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] But seriously, though: you ''are'' cute. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Mmm''… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I like-- I like this-- I like this-- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're-- you c-- you straight-- came straight from, uh… the, uh, PGSM… show. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' It's the live-action [[Sailor Moon]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve seen some of the episodes for that. 
'''Chris:''' I’ve got the entire series-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Saved to my PlayStation 3, including the, uh, wedding episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so… 
'''Chris:''' Its, like, the very-- it's, like, a very special ''last'' episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a strange, baby-like voice] You actually get to see ''Usagi''… [back to his normal voice] and, uh-- aww, shoot – I forget his name, but, y'know… 
'''Emily:''' Uh… Mamoru? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Samoru. That’s it; ''you'' got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' You ''got'' it! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' You got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I used to be a really big fan of Sailor Moon. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] entire anime series? 
'''Emily:''' Um, I haven’t seen the ''last'' season. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Sailor Stars. 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah''… 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the transsexuals? 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I kn-- I know that. But I ''have'' that on, uh-- I have that on ''DVD''-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, y'know, with J-- Japanese audio and English subtitles. 
'''Emily:''' How do you feel about that? Like, the transsexuals and… the Sailor Starlights? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Um… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-- 
'''Chris:''' No. 
'''Emily:''' Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, little kids? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Um… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… [pitiful] I don’t have much of an opinion… 
[''Emily and Chris both laugh''] 
'''Emily:''' It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's, uh-- it's… [in a British accent] ''itchy''… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but you can sketch a lot in your, uh… journalism, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I m-- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… 
'''Emily:''' We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing. 
'''Chris:''' Okay – well, I mean, you-- I mean, you sketch your ''letters''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you? 
'''Emily:''' No – I thinks it's, uh-- it's just basically a bunch'a scribbles. 
[''Chris and Emily both laugh''] 
'''Chris:''' Eh… a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an X for their signature, and that’s it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Ah''… but not you. You put… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' An E and… an S, basically. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh-- uh, an S? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Emily Schiflett. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – ''that’s'' your last name! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' "Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – my middle name’s Julia. 
'''Chris:''' ''"Julia"!'' 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' "Emily Julia Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Flows nicely, doesn’t it? 
'''Chris:''' It's beautiful! 
'''Emily:''' Aww… thank you. 
'''Chris:''' D-- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart? 
'''Emily:''' No… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
[pause]

===Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)===

[''Bob comes back''] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Alright, Dad – uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate. 
'''Bob:''' I get to divvy it up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' Wow! Christian – I don't know… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] my ''treat'' to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti! 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… really? I don't think-- I've only had their pizza there… before… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the, um-- all the spaghetti places in town are too expensive. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh.'' 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – b-- but-- 
'''Bob:''' But they don't have one here! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' But they should have one here. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'' think they should. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' You ever been to an Olive Garden? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, yeah – it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I-- I've actually-- yeah – y'know, I was there with my father… when-- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly-- to the ''other'' nearly esstinct, uh, restaurants: y'know, like Shoney's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a ''while!'' 
'''Chris:''' There's one in Chesterfield Count-- there's a bun-- there's a few in the Richmond area… 
'''Bob:''' And one over close to VCU! 
'''Emily:''' Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [''laughs politely''] Of course, I'm-- I'm usually not looking for them, so… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – we even ha-- yeah – we even-- at-- at home, somewhere, we even have a t-- we even have the-- the teddy bear: the ''Shoney Bear''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' The Shoney Bear? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's-- that was their mascot. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' And I mean, if you look it up-- if you look up "Shon"-- if you-- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh… find their mascot being the teddy-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Being the bear. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] "to… wan-- to wan-- to… gawk-- to ''gander'' at!" 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Christian – they got lots of juice! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Well, ''you'' can have it… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Chris:''' I don't need to, uh, ''slobber'' all over myself… 
'''Chris:''' Especially in front of my, uh, "lady friend", here. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] Aww… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] a little bit more? 
[long pause] 
'''Bob:''' You can deal ''without''… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his-- so, I take his breadsticks. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get some more water. 
'''Emily:''' Okay! 
'''Chris:''' I'll be right back. 
[''Chris walks away''] 
[pause]

===(38:55 - 01:14:22)===

{{transcription}}

===A Walk to Remember (01:14:23 - 01:21:43)===

Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall. 
'''Bob:''' Take care. 
'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk… 
Bob babbles on about sending something. 
'''Emily:'''Okay… okay, you can show me around the mall… 
'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my eyeline. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous tittering* 
They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center? 
'''Emily:''' *impatiently* Clothes stores. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… Yeah… but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a Kay-Bee Toys here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- my thousand dollar shopping spree I won around the… around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' … you might remember that, uh, news clip… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I've seen it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
Chris nervously takes a few steps. 
'''Chris:''' Wow… you're like… I'm sorry. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' I'm just fascinated like… you're just like… a character from PGSM or from- came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television! 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* No I'm definitely all American. 
'''Chris:''' You're all American. 
'''Emily:''' I'm all American. 
'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are excepting. 
'''Emily:''' *shameless subject change* Yeah… so what's your favorite store here? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- I think it's- I would say it's mostly Gamestop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here. 
'''Emily:''' What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side… 
'''Emily:''' *bravely* Okay, that's fine! 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back- 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from Inuyasha that… go- eh- go for the bum. 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that 
'''Emily:''' Uh… . it's Miroku. 
'''Chris:''' *talking over her* Do you watch Inuyasha? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you hit it on the head right there… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
Emily awkwardly walks several steps… 
'''Emily:''' *delaying* Is that the… food court there? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court. 
'''Emily:''' OK… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonalds here- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … soooo many years ago across from the Gamestop there, back then it was called Babbages… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FunCo Land and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into Gamestop 
'''Emily:''' Oh… never heard about that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I play video games sometimes, but not very often… 
'''Salesman:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you! 
'''Chris:''' No thank you! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… right over- see- where that *unintelligble name of store*, that's where PacSun used to be, where Anna McLerran 
'''Emily:''' Oh yeah… I've… I've heard of her as well… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Is she still around? 
'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to Utah. 
'''Emily:''' Utah… 
'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh! 
'''Chris:''' For her 20th birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. *emphatically* I k- I bought the cake. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you keep in contact with her? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah uh… no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… did she move to Utah too? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I dream I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see Megan and John in there… John's her brother… 
'''Emily:''' Oh ok… 
'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then, 
'''Emily:''' *small laughter* 
'''Chris:''' … but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny? 
'''Emily:''' *slightly sarcastically* Yeah… that is kinda funny! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… FYE was over there… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff- 
'''Emily:''' *quickly* No, I'm not into that. 
'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! *laughs* 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… well… doesn't look like there's anything down here… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… not much… not much to look at around here… the toy stores around here are down here… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive! 
'''Chris:''' Long drive… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories we've shared… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want… 
'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… it's that time of the month… 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general… 
'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy! 
'''Chris:''' Thank you… 
'''Emily:''' I don't know why people pick on you and all that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave… 
'''Emily:''' *steering the beast* Have you been into any of these stores over here?

===Meet the Pickle (01:21:44 - 01:25:29)===

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see Watchmen, would you? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… no. 
'''Emily:''' I'd see that movie. 
'''Chris:''' *shocked* Uh… any particular reason why you're dressed up like that? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular. 
'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' What? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Ya, ya want to go see Watchmen? Lots of, uh… 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* Why, what's wrong? 
'''Chris:''' The man in the pickle suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… trolls. 
'''Pickle Man:''' You think… 
'''Emily:''' What's a tro… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Passerby:''' Sir… sir, what are you? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle. 
'''Passerby:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool. 
'''Passerby:''' And who are you advertising with? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just dressed for fun? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored. 
'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just bored? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yep! 
'''Chris:''' *questioningly* You don't even know me… are you sure… do you have internet access? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have internet access. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know Sonichu and Rosechu? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know about Encyclopedia Dramatica? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. (turning to Emily) Want to go see Watchmen? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* No, no, no, she's with- 
'''Emily:''' Alright! 
'''Chris:''' … she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, Watchmen would be pretty cool. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Let's go see it! 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah? 
'''Pickle Man:''' (to Emily as they turn to leave together) You've probably seen Watchmen (he refers to the novel), haven't you? 
'''Chris:''' (answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind) I've heard of Watchmen… 
'''Pickle Man:''' *laughs at Chris* 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man.) 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* What's wrong with him? 
'''Pickle Man:''' What, you like pickles? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do not like pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles? 
'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the internet pretending that he was Blanca! 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs/grunts* 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy. 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but stressed as he moves closer to Emily) 
'''Pickle Man:''' I think you're making the lady uncomfortable there, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* I'm sorry, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' It's ok… I think I have… to go to the bathroom now… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon. 
'''Chris:''' Oh boy. [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [inaudible] … but I guess I do now. 
'''Emily:''' *attempting to brush him off* OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… I kinda… [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' (as they continue trying to walk away) Well, we're going to go now. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… 
'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- (to Pickle Man) you're not going where she's going… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together. 
'''Chris:''' Are you with her? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are. We're going to go see Watchmen. 
'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you. 
'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see Watchmen first. 
'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- Watchmen's not that long of a movie. 
'''Chris:''' *suddenly concerned for Emily* Yeah, but you got a five hour drive! 
'''Emily:''' *dismissively* It'll be ok. 
The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies: 
'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya! 

===Hiding Out In The Bathroom (01:25:29 - 01:29:34)===

There is a long pause as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom. 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible)...very fashionable looking. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you! 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
Another long pause as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.

===A Precious Farewell (01:29:35 - 01:31:10)===

'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's… Your car's [inaudible] didn't you? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, you did? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Which [inaudible]? 
'''Chris:''' Tha- that way. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I'm over there. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. (continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily) 
'''Emily:''' Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car. 
'''Chris:''' Okaaay. 
'''Emily:''' This is… Alright. 
'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh… West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… (feigning cheerfulness) okay! I might call you on Skype later. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care. 
'''Emily:''' You too. 
'''Chris:''' Hey… (attempts to hug and kiss Emily) 
'''Emily:''' (tries to avoid Chris) No… no… no thank you! (nervous laughter) No thank you. 
'''Chris:''' (Chris gives up) Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see you. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, you too. 
8 seconds pass as Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris. 
'''Chris:''' (yelling from a distance) HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH! 
There is laughter from Pickle Man and Emily. 
'''Emily:''' (laughing) Mission accomplished! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay!. [inaudible] worse than me… 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay… [inaudible] man in the pickle suit? 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
'''Pickle Man:''' (laughingly says something about Clyde Cash) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) Wait there… there's Frosty. 
'''Pickle Man:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' (presumably walking to see Frosty) Yes! Still recording!

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n The Date Audio]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Emily Date Conversation Transcript

2010-03-11T17:22:06Z

JerichoJack:

In [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] went on his first, and only date ever with a [[troll]] called [[Emily]]. For posterity's sake, the event was recorded, and is now presented in text format for your enjoyment, here.

The voices heard in the recording are that of an elite crack team of courageous trolls and trollettes.

==Cast==

'''Frosty:''' A whiz kid, his high-tech know-how keeps the group online.

'''Camwhore:''' "Emily's friend", her mission is to capture video of the event.

'''Emily:''' Queen of trolls, she risks both life and limb on a plunge into the heart of darkness.

'''Pickle Man:''' Brave and daring hero, he protects Emily from certain peril.

'''Chris:''' Misshapen manchild, his disgusting nature seeps into the very recording of his voice.

'''Bob:''' [[Bob|Robert Chandler]], the proud Internet lumberjack, yet also slave to the manchild.

==Transcript==

Throughout the recording, a mall full of shoppers produces a background din.

===Prelude (00:00 - 03:12)===

'''Frosty:''' Okay… lock it? 
'''Frosty:''' Okay-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Are you wearing a thong? With a-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' That better be fuckin' ''tight''. 
'''Emily:''' It's tight. 
'''Camwhore:''' That may pop out while you're walking around, while you're like-- 
'''Emily:''' I should be like-- 
'''Camwhore:''' Or a robotic vagina. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' Say "It's my vibrator." 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's one of those things that you see taped to those-- those hentai-- 
'''Frosty:''' Well, the thing is, Chris-- he [unintelligible (but clearly imitating Chris's voice)] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Ungh, ungh, ungh, ungh! 
'''Emily:''' Okay, if he get's, like, ''way'' too close to me, I'm just gonna be like-- get my chair farther away. 
'''Camwhore:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' I really like your [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [''laughs''] Maybe Barb-- Barbara can come. 
'''Emily:''' Apparently, she doesn't leave the house anymore. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I'm just [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' There-- there are Barb candidates ''everywhere''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' No, no, no, no, no, no. But-- but in all actuality, there should be no Barb; if there ''is'' Barb, I will shit myself. 
'''Emily:''' If there is Barb, we're-- we're done. 
'''Camwhore:''' We're not showing up. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' "You brought your mommy?" 
'''Emily:''' I should be like, "No – just put that shit in the bag, and we're not doing anything today." 
'''Camwhore:''' Yeah. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' That's it. 
'''Camwhore:''' And you can call him and be like "You owe me a ''dire'' apology, and you're the… jack-off--" 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm sure I'm gonna yell at him, and make him ''cry''. 
'''Frosty:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' And I'm gonna be like "Oh – I live in Clyde's playboy mansion now." [''laughs''] 
'''Frosty:''' No – even better! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] I'm waiting. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm ''part'' of Clyde's playboy mansion. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I'm the janitor. 
[''all laugh loudly''] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – let's go see if he's there. 
'''Camwhore:''' ''You'' go see if he's there. 
'''Emily:''' ''No!'' 'Cause-- 'cause it's-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible (but about "a girl")] 
'''Emily:''' 'Cause I'm gonna make it like an entrance, like… ''"Hiii!"'' 
'''Pickle Man:''' Did he say where [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' No. Like, he wants to be-- he wants to meet in front of Chick-Fil-A, so… 
'''Camwhore:''' Figures! But the ''general'' idea would be you park near where you wanna… go. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' What if that [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [aside] [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' Do you see those pile of balloons right there? Swear to God: it looks like a penis. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Camwhore:''' The balloons. Right here. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' It's a fuckin' penis. 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' Nope. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''sighs''] 
'''Camwhore:''' [''sighs''] 
[pause] 
'''Camwhore:''' There's that ugly bitch that looks like Hamster Girl… at Starbucks. 
'''Emily:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Camwhore:''' She ''looks'' like Hamster Girl. 
'''Pickle Man:''' ''Which'' one looks like Hamster Girl? 
'''Camwhore:''' Right there. The only one that you can see working? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Oh – over at Starbucks? You should see her with that hair off. 
'''Camwhore:''' No, no, no. She looks like Hamster Girl. [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm telling you: you should see her with that hair off! 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she don't have no hair? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Um… 
'''Camwhore:''' Oh – she has a fake-- 
'''Pickle Man:''' She has fake hair, or… she has no hair… or the hair back like this. 
'''Camwhore:''' Well, yeah – I knew that. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Camwhore:''' I was gonna say: I don't-- I guess she dyed her hair blond. 'Cause I remember seeing her with some ugly, strange-colored hair.

===Target Acquired (03:13 - 04:43)===

'''Frosty:''' There he is! 
'''Emily:''' [startled] What? 
'''Frosty:''' [unintelligible (but about "a jacket")] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God! 
'''Emily:''' [jokingly] Eject! Oh my God! 
'''Frosty:''' Is your [inaudible] on? [unintelligible (but clearly about "a jacket" again)] Are you ready? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm ready. [''laughs nervously''] This is gonna be my best acting moment ever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' He can't see my face before I suit up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – go, like, look, 'cause he has to get down first. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Frosty:''' He'll realize later: that's what it was. 
'''Camwhore:''' I don't feel bad. 
'''Emily:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Hopefully, he, like, won't come, like, around and-- [inaudibly interrupted] Huh? I don't have my phone. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Oh my God… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' If this goes all smoothly, I should get, like… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Where do I sit… to, like, watch [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Um, there's some ''benches'', like… by the tables. [abruptly] Oh! Oh! Oh, no. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Okay – there's some benches, like, ''nearby''… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? 
'''Emily:''' Um, just sit and watch him [unintelligible] you need to go change or whatever. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. Well, I-- I started the-- I [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. I'll [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''exhales loudly''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Or just, like… kinda walk around and see if you can… see us.

===The Green Mile (04:44 - 05:19)===

Nothing but Emily's footfalls can be heard as she marches off to meet the manchild.

===Meet the Parent (05:20 - 07:17)===

'''Emily:''' ''Hi!'' 
'''Chris:''' Hello! Emily? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I'm Emily. So nice to meet you! 
'''Chris:''' Hi, Emily. This is my father, Robert. 
'''Bob:''' Hello. 
'''Emily:''' Hello. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' I've started shopping a little bit. 
'''Chris:''' That's alright. 
'''Bob:''' You're from West Virgina? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I used to live here for a while, but then, I-- 
'''Chris:''' [abruptly] Hey! 
'''Emily:''' But then, I moved to-- 
'''Chris:''' Cute hat! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I thought you might like it. 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs contentedly''] 
'''Bob:''' You go to school over there? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – University of West Virginia. My friend, uh, wanted to go to school there, and she's my best friend, so I have to… go with her everywhere! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' That sounds like the best way to do things! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hey, Emily – you mind, uh, a photo of you and me together? 
'''Emily:''' Sure! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' What are you taking? 
'''Emily:''' I'm doing journalism. 
'''Bob:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' ''Journalism.'' 
'''Bob:''' Journalism? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Ah! You wanna be a writer! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''giggles''] I did a lot-- 
'''Bob:''' He has a… [[Cole Smithey|''half-brother'']] who's-- who lives in New York City… and, uh, does ''freelance'' writing and show reviews and things… for newspapers and magazines. 
'''Emily:''' Is it-- does he love it? 
'''Bob:''' I ''guess''. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles again''] 
'''Bob:''' I haven't talked to him in years… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I can't this dang camera to work! 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – that's-- I worked at, uh-- I'm an engineer… and engineers never learn how to spell. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I think very logically, but I-- 
'''Chris:''' Shoot! I got bad batteries in the camera. 
'''Emily:''' [disappointed] Oh… 
'''Bob:''' If I would-- if I would ''write'' anything, half the words would be phonetically rather than the way we're… ''supposed'' to do. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' I got along fine… writing stuff… on my ''word'' processor… when I had a ''spell'' checker. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Without that, I'm [unintelligible (but clearly self-deprecating)] [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' Did you like doing engineering? 
'''Bob:''' Well… I-- I had a real ''u-''nique situation… 
[pause]

===Bob's Work History (07:18 - 16:58)===

'''Bob:''' Look, uh… I'm-- I'm really old. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Okay – to start with: I'm 81. And, uh, I came along ''before'' transistors. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Not-- not [unintelligible] stuff we have now, but even before ''transistors''… when we had vacuum tubes. 
'''Bob:''' I, uh… got drafted after World War II. That's how old. But, uh… then, they put me in the Signal Corps, and they knew things I didn't know. They taught me how to install valve systems and switchboards and telephone [unintelligible]. So, I found out: yeah – I'm pretty good at that. So, when I got out – 'course that was in 1947 – I found out-- now, I know that we had a deflation on our hands; I didn't know it then. 
'''Bob:''' You couldn't get a job, so, I thought "Well, I got the G.I. Bill. I'll go to school." 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – now, it's really hard to become an engineer. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – now, ya-- I, uh-- 
'''Bob:''' I went to… a state [unintelligible] college to start with, 'cause I had the philosophy that if I went to a big school I'd be just… swallowed up. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I went to a small school and took Pre-Engineering for two years, and that was the best thing ''I'' ever did, 'cause I wound up, uh-- well, I got-- I got through my two years of Pre-Engineering in small classes. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And also, I loved music, and I was in the band and everything. And I got in the symphony orchestra… and learned a lot about music while I was up there. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to Auburn, and then [unintelligible] swallowed up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, at that time, Auburn-- which now has what: 30,000 students, or something? Auburn had about 5,000 students. 
'''Bob:''' I got my Engineering degree. And then, when I got out, I said "Well, I'll, uh… I can do anything with relays and telephones and valve systems, and [inaudible]. I'm gonna work for Western Electric." 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' That seems logical, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [suddenly offended somehow] Hey! 
'''Bob:''' Because they make, uh-- 
'''Chris:''' You-- no – you listen to my father… because he's somethin'! Because I get some of my intelligence from ''him''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Especially my ''technological'' intelligence. 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, I, uh-- I went to work for them for 40 years, and, uh… at that point in time… 
'''Bob:''' Uh, this is even ''before'' the Atlas missile… the ICBM. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Before'' the Korean War… and, uh-- but, I-- I found out they were building ''radar'' systems. Well, that was fine, but also, they had lots of government money, so they wanted some automatic test equipment. At that time, ''nothing'' was automatic. They ''had'' none! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, that's what ''I'' went and built. [unintelligible] what I learned in the army, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I started working with the first automatic test equipment that we ever made. And then, GE heard about it… and they came down to [unintelligible] in North Carolina. 
'''Bob:''' And-- so, GE came down; they offered me a job… up in upstate New York. Cold country in Utica. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' And then, uh… I went down to build some automatic test equipment for the ICBM [unintelligible] Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Nobody knows how, 'cause we haven't done it before. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We'd done some of this automatic test equipment down here. "Why don't you come up there?" "Well, okay!" 
'''Bob:''' So, I went up there for three years and helped develop the, uh, automatic…equipment… for testing the missiles, and… all the guidance systems, and things… in the [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' But-- but I got-- I was a soldier, true and tried, 'cause I was born in Texas and raised in Alabama. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I was in North Carolina first. And then, I hit upstate New York, and I froze to death. [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah, that must be really different! [''laughs again''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, after three years, I said "I'm going back to somethin' [unintelligible]" Well, GE-- I didn't know it then, but I had a real, natural ''draw''… to the mountains. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And I knew about Roanoke, since I'd been in, uh, [unintelligible] So, I wanted to come back to Roanoke, and GE had plants there. 
'''Bob:''' And… they were there developing-- specializing in industrial automation. Except they didn't done any ''automation'' yet. They were just industrial-controlled. 
'''Bob:''' So, I finagled a transfer back to Roanoke, and… I got there just at the time when they were startin'… to make… any kind of automation controls for engines. 
'''Bob:''' So, I got into what they call "a new business area". And I got to do ''all'' the great things. All my-- I-- I really had it right. I was in the right places at the right time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because I am very ''logically-''inclined. 
'''Emily:''' That doesn't really happen nowadays, with the economy… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – and I-- I'm a logician. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Oddly enough, I never learned how a transistor even works… on records. But I ''use'' 'em all the time. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I use 'em. I'm retired now, a long time. But… when I started out with this group, and the first thing we got into was trying to automate a steel mill… for rolling [unintelligible] steel for your cars. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Well, we did that. And then, I got into… how to roll papers so you could get Kleenex. 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' And, of course, y'know, he's the guy that designed the controls for all the plastic water machines, so without him at this time, you couldn't have the plastic for your glasses. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then-- then, I got into-- I was in the new business area [unintelligible] we could do the first one… and then, somebody else would take over and do the others. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And-- and then, I got into managing a paper mill. But then, I got into the… industry of-- of, uh, like [unintelligible] warehousing, automatic transition, like BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Automatic railroads and all that kind of stuff. Automated a bunch of that. Then, I got into automating a bunch of mine [unintelligible] around the world. 
'''Emily:''' You've been through a lot! 
'''Bob:''' And then, I went to automating tanker ships, so you could run 'em from the bridge and have nobody downstairs. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Just someone else involved-- 
'''Chris:''' Want some water? 
'''Emily:''' No, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' And, uh… then, uh-- then, um, I got into… I developed [unintelligible] I found out that there was very few people like me in the world that had this natural… inclination… for logic. 
'''Bob:''' Anyway, like the ands, and ors, and the what-ifs, and the what-if-nots. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I developed a system… called a [inaudible] that stands [unintelligible]. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Hardware-oriented Y2K pile of junk! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Similar fortune… was in… ''hardware''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, everybody – I got [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables-- 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible (but clearly addressing Emily)] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] Thank you. 
'''Bob:''' What this enables everybody to do-- and me, too, but I was lazy… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Was to write down on-- on paper – and design on paper from the start – a sequence of parallel lines. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And up to that point, nobody had a way of writin' it down on paper. 
'''Emily:''' [''half-stifles a genuine laugh''] 
'''Bob:''' And they ''still'' don't, really! [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' But that [unintelligible] to mind, horse and buggy. 
'''Bob:''' Elevator-type system that's over a 5,000 ft hole! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Then, I got into, uh, designing… ''scooter'' machines, which fused all the plastic around wires, and things like that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Scooters. And then, I got into… die-cast machines… and the machines automating ''them''. They make things like carburetors, and cans, and whatever. 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got into ''plastics''… and even the ''plastics'' were [unintelligible] automating their machines. In the process, I ended up with about… ''two'' patents [unintelligible] in ''my'' name that ''they'' own. And all this… dumb stuff. And I saw the first 2-liter Coke bottle… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Come off the line in New England. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] on it, and all these [unintelligible] ''doors'', and-- and, um… ''shutters'', and stuff like that made out of plastic. All this stuff we got plastic. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] in your frames! 
'''Emily:''' Yep! [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' Including, uh, Tupperware. 
'''Emily:''' Can't… go without Tupperware… 
'''Bob:''' So, then [unintelligible] ''finalized'' and-- and perfected, basically, this [unintelligible] process… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Of design and documentation. [unintelligible] It came time for me to retire. And so, I did! [''chuckles''] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' So, now, I'm ''un-''indated with all this stuff I did, and I don't know whether I did the world a good thing or not. 
'''Emily:''' I think you did! 
'''Bob:''' But I can't-- 
'''Emily:''' You did a lot of things. 
'''Bob:''' I can't spell the word "cat" without a K in it. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, well, y'know, [[Chris and his ego|I'm proud of him anyway]], for his [[fail|accompliment]]-- accom-''plish-''ments. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' He's got a ''half-''brother who [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' ''His'' son. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' okay. 
'''Bob:''' And he's got a-- and I have a daughter, who is his-- his half-sister… that's a… Phi Beta Kappa outta UVA Atlantic. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh…'' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' She's workin' for the federal government, and she's got a PHD now. She's working somewhere for the federal government. All these math people… I dunno.

===Retired Life (16:59 - 24:22)===

'''Emily:''' I'm not very good at math. [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I'm not that-- 
'''Emily:''' That's why-- 
'''Bob:''' I'm good at ''logic'', but not at math. 
'''Chris:''' But ''I'm'' good at math! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' He's not good at math when it comes to managing money. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – look! Hey – look it! I have… ''your'' plastic lid on it! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Bob:''' We've been working with him, now, for 27 years. 
'''Bob:''' It was a challenge. ''Most'' of the time, I've been retired, so I could [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… usually, if you're not very good at math, you're really good at writing, which is why I'm going for journalism. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – well, I, um… I did-- I do alright with writing as long as I got a spell checker. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I just, uh-- I-- but I enjoyed my life. It-- it, uh-- it-- I had… things; I had-- I had opportunities that most people don’t get. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I got to see all this stuff now. 
'''Emily:''' That’s good. I hope that, like, y'know, I can travel around the world and, y'know… write up-- do some journalism, like, overseas. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve been to Australia, and I’ve been to Korea, and I've been to England. 
'''Bob:''' ''Most'' people [unintelligible] to see 'em, but [unintelligible] I've never seen, 'cause they work too good. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, it-- it was interesting. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I wish I could get-- find out what ''Christian's'' really good-- well, he’s pretty good in drawing… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' And writing. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he-- she should know; she-- you’ve-- you should know; you've seen a bunch of [[Chris and art|my artwork]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! It’s really good! All my-- all my friends like it, as well. 
'''Bob:''' [[Chris and copyright|He’s ''creative'']]… but he’s, um… I-- I guess you know he’s-- [[autism|he's high-functioning autistic]]… and, um… 
'''Chris''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' At 6, he couldn’t even ''talk''… but he was… ''programming'' [unintelligible] computer: his Commodore computer… 
'''Chris:''' Commodore 64. 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs''] Which was his first little-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh! I don’t know very many-- much about computers! [''giggles''] Sorry! [''giggles some more''] 
'''Bob:''' You’ve probably got a laptop, with a word processor, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' [reluctantly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah – but you-- 
'''Bob:''' Now, we've-- we-- we’ve brought him a long way. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' It’s been interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… well, that’s a little piece for you-- that you can, uh, write about, if you want to. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! That-- that would be interesting. 
'''Chris:''' Anyway, you-- anyway, you came all the way here from, uh, VCU? Or did you make a few stops along the way? 
'''Emily:''' No – I came all the way from VCU. Um… like, a lot of my fr-- uh, friends over at VCU? They're into the whole Sonichu thing, but there’s a lot more… uh, like, I guess "Sonichu Girls"… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Up in, uh, the University of West Virginia. And we… k-- we kinda do, like, a newsletter-type thing every week. 
'''Chris:''' Wow. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But this is in one of my favorite spots in the country. 
'''Chris:''' [responding belatedly to Emily] I commend you for that. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] little trees on West Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Have you heard of West Avenue? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' You know where West Avenue is? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – a little bit; I don’t… really go in that area. 
'''Bob:''' They're at the end of VCU, then? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] I don’t know that area very well. 
'''Bob:''' It’s-- it's a street of, uh, townhouses. And it's about three blocks long. And it’s got a second name called "Stork Alley". 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And every spring, they have a "Stork Alley Rally". 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? Oh… 
'''Bob:''' At the same time, they have the Easter parade over on Monument Avenue. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve never seen it before, but my friends tell me about it. But I’m usually stuck in, y'know… college. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – but-- but I was only in Richmond… um… 1975 through 1980. And then, I got married to ''his'' mother. And, um… ''he'' was born, and then, we got transferred over here; I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' And we lived in Chesterfield County… but I ''love'' West Avenue; that’s my favorite spot. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' I call it "Sesame Street". 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that’s… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Because they call it "Stork Alley", 'cause there’s so many kids. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' I-- I-- I love the Virginian area. 
'''Bob:''' His ''mother''… was raised – but you wouldn’t believe it – she-- she was raised in a [unintelligible] home. And one that's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' Right there on, um… I can’t think of the name of that street: the one that goes right in front of the Burger King… down at… VCU. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know what… streets really are-- 
'''Bob:''' Well, again-- but that is a street that goes right in front of Burger King… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And right down the street from there is where… ''his'' mother lived for about 20 years and raised her first son. 
'''Bob:''' And he’s got a lot of ties to the family, too; he just doesn’t like me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… do you guys have a big family? 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Well, uh, we’ve got-- we've got ''my'' son, and my daughter. 
'''Bob:''' You-- my son’s in Richmond, and my daughter’s in Washington. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' And then, we’ve got ''her'' son, who's in New York. And then, there’s the three of us. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Schiflett's a really big family. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – we got… two-- really, two separate families. 
'''Emily:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… but it’s not as big as The Brady Bunch! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' No… it isn't. 
'''Emily:''' No. 
'''Bob:''' But we-- we-- we enjoy it, and I-- I have-- uh, I grow flowers. And… I don’t have to worry about… makin' a livin' anymore… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' With Social Security, and… the GE pension. And GE's good and sound… fortunately! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' So, uh… I-- I grow day lilies. I’ve gotten my yard full of [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And in the middle, I’ve got a, um… well, about 15 [unintelligible] greenhouse. 
'''Emily:''' Oh? 
'''Bob:''' Except… inside this greenhouse, it’s different. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' Inside this greenhouse, there’s ''plastic'' flowers. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – ''plastic'' flowers? 
'''Bob:''' A ''swing''… and, uh, all my ''stereo'' stuff, and, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but he’s got ''real'' flowers in his garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. Oh, okay. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the day lilies are real, in the garden; but inside here, it’s all flat. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – day lilies bloom about once a year, during-- dur-- about ''once''-- 
'''Bob:''' In the summer. 
'''Chris:''' This-- this summer. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' There-- there's also that-- 
'''Chris:''' And then, they stay that way for about a month or so. It’s a beautiful garden. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, I can imagine! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I’ve got about 15,000 healthy-- 
'''Chris:''' [dreamily/creepily] ''Imagine!'' 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And I-- I love all the music from-- from [unintelligible (but seemingly naming a pair of musical artists)]. 
'''Chris:''' Raise me on music, he did! 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and musicals. And soundtracks. 
'''Emily:''' Well, what’s ''your'' favorite artist? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, my favorite artist? Well, he didn’t raise me on it, but, y'know, my favorite ss-- uh… ''singer'' is Britney Spears. 
'''Emily:''' Britney Spears? 
'''Bob:''' And, uh, he's got all-- uh, mine are all back from the '40s, and '30s, and '20s, and-- 
'''Emily:''' And he’s into… more ''modern'' pop music? 
'''Chris:''' Although… I guess if I had to pick a ''classic'' favorite, it would have to be ''Satchmo''. 
'''Emily:''' "Satchmo"? 
'''Chris:''' Louis Armstrong. 
'''Bob:''' And-- but [unintelligible] all these big ''classics'' now-- 
'''Chris:''' [''does Satchmo impression''] "Ten feet off the ground!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' [''imitates trumpet melody''] 
'''Emily:''' [''giggles''] 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when it came out. All the European [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' I couldn't ''afford'' it when they came out, 'cause they were [unintelligible] but now, you can get 'em at Goodwill and Salvation Army… 
'''Emily:''' Well-- 
'''Bob:''' A ''quarter'' to ''fifty'' cents apiece. 
'''Emily:''' [feigning enthusiastic agreement] Yeah! [''laughs weakly''] 
'''Bob:''' ''Thousands'' of them now! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And inside, uh, I found out that inside this, um… um… ''greenhouse''… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' It's got a ''dome'' ceiling… which gives it the ca-- ''cathedral'' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' Well… I found this ''great'' stereo system at, uh-- in the 1970s, at Goodwill… and put ''it'' out there… along with the swing. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Bob:''' And… if you turn the volume up, then that music just sounds like it’s the hall where they ''recorded'' it! Ah – it's great! 
'''Bob:''' Goin' out there and swingin' with my music for hours on end! 
'''Emily:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] 
'''Emily:''' That must be really relaxing! 
'''Bob:''' Well, yeah – it's a nice life! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely'']

===Bob's Health Problems (24:23 - 25:29)===

'''Bob:''' If I didn't have to worry about ''him'', I'd be in ''great'' shape! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs sympathetically''] 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''laughs nervously''] [unintelligible] But he's been-- still been in… good shape all his [unintelligible] I mean, he's been in-- he's been through, uh, ''three'' triple-- ''two'' triple-bypasses? 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – I was supposed to ''die'' in 1980. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! What happened? 
'''Bob:''' In fact, I ''did''. 
'''Emily:''' What happened? 
'''Bob:''' I smoked too much… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… I worked for GE. 
'''Bob:''' I did all this dumb stuff I shouldn't have. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah-- but yeah – he-- but yes – uh… 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' God let him survive! 
'''Bob:''' I had a couple heart attacks, and… 
'''Emily:''' [responding to Chris] Yeah – for a reason! 
'''Chris:''' And he's got a pacemaker now! 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… I-- I've been through-- I lived through a triple-bypass in 1980 [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' And survived that… so, [[Chris and death|I've only died a couple times!]] 
'''Bob:''' And then, I got-- I got through that. 
'''Bob:''' Then, ''he'' came along. 
'''Chris:''' Hey! He come-- 
'''Bob:''' And then, I-- I got retired… 
'''Chris:''' Hey! 
'''Emily:''' Hmm? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – hey – he's the one that's b-- that has seen the light, but did not actually go ''to'' it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And, um… 
'''Chris:''' A ''number'' of times. 
'''Bob:''' I had ''another'' triple-bypass in '92… 
'''Bob:''' And I died a couple times [unintelligible] 
'''Bob:''' And that was at Chippenham, over in Chester County. 
'''Emily:''' Oh…

===Memories of High School (25:30 - 26:12)===

'''Bob:''' And, uh… when I was over there with him, I-- I put him to school through, uh, ''Chesterfield'' County's school system. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Bob:''' Well, they're the best in the country… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' For-- for schools [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' And-- and, um… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High. 
'''Emily:''' [disinterested] Oh, really? 
'''Bob:''' Then, um… 
'''Chris:''' That's my birthstone: [[Amnyfest Ring|amnyfest]]. 
'''Emily:''' And the ''side'' of it… 
'''Emily:''' What does it say: "Lancers"? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Is that-- wait – is that your mascot? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Then…what's on the other side? "2000"? 
'''Chris:''' Yes… that's my class and coat'a arms. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Manchester High School. And look at the jewel! It's a galaxy cut on top, and [[rainbow|a rainbow]] on the bottom. If you look at-- in the ring-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see-- 
'''Emily:''' I see it! 
'''Chris:''' Do you see the rainbow? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. [[speech impediment|Well, anyway, like, y'know,]] I guess that's enough-- y'know, that's enough talk from ''him''. Uh… you were gonna ask… 
'''Emily:''' Aww… 
'''Chris:''' ''Me'' something?

===The "Sonichu Girls" Club (26:13 - 29:01)===

'''Bob:''' Now, I wanna find out about these… ''Sonichu'' Girls! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Sonichu Girls? 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause I didn't know about them. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – didn't… Chris tell you about them? 
'''Bob:''' No – he doesn't-- no – he doesn't normally-- he doesn't… ''tell'' me much about them, so… 
'''Bob:''' See – he's a-- he-- he and his mother stay up all night… and I stay up all day. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Uh… actually reminds me more-- actually, we're more-- sometimes, you stay up in the day; sometimes, you stay up in the night. 
'''Emily:''' So, you've got, like, ''mixed''… like, sleep schedules, I guess? 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… my mom-- and my-- my mom picked up my bad biological-- my messed-up [[biological clock]]. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Bob:''' She stays up all night! 
'''Bob:''' But anyway… I-- I-- yeah – I found out about 'em from… I guess, when you called on the phone… 
'''Emily:''' Oh! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' And-- and left a message. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it's a pretty big fanbase. Um… there's actually about-- about 30-some girls… at University of West Virginia who, like, are part of the fan club. 
'''Bob:''' Hmm! 
'''Emily:''' And then, there's-- I mean, there's, uh, plenty of others, like, around the world, too, that-- we talk to… um, on the forums that we have? 
'''Bob:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' Do-- you got one here in UVA? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know… [''giggles''] I don't have very many friends at UVA. 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' That's why I heard-- that's why. 
'''Bob:''' VCU's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. They're a lot more laid-back over there. 
'''Bob:''' Yeah. Well, they're in the sand! How else could you be? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' 'Cause in the sand, you have to be laid-back. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Y'know, I was curious about this-- this club… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' I-- I didn't know he even knew about it! ''I'' didn't know about it. I think it's great! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Hey – I've been on the Internet chat! And plus, y'know… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Y'know, certain-- 
'''Bob:''' Plus [[medallion|the ''medallion'']], Christian! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… um… 
'''Bob:''' He's got this yellow medallion with Sonichu on it… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! Why-- why aren't you wearing your… [suddenly concerned] m-- medallion? 
'''Chris:''' Um… I just believe I expressed that, uh… in a video on, uh, YouTube? But I-- I, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I might've missed that; I'm not sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – um… I'd rather not say in front of-- I'd rather not say in front of ''Father''… but, uh… 
'''Bob:''' There's a lot of things he doesn't tell me; he doesn't share things with me. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' [whispering] If I told him why, he'd have ''another'' heart attack… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' But I mean, y'know… think of it this way: at least you don't have another face that you have-- you don't-- it saves you one face to have to look at! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and look at 'em, y'know: they're ashually ''green-blue''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I see it! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – pink eye in that eye, and then, uh, the prescribed eye drops changed the pigment! 
'''Emily:''' Wow… I didn't know that… could happen! [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Yeah''… looks like you kinda, like, uh, have green-brown eyes yourself? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I thought they were just plain brown! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's just that-- y'know, it's-- the angle of the light kinda gave it a little bit of a greenish tint… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible]

===Emily Isn't Hungry (29:02 - 29:58)===

'''Chris:''' Yeah… but ''anyway'', uh… you came all the way from VCU; uh… you hungry? 
'''Emily:''' Oh – no, I'm not hungry. I ate on the way here, really. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – you-- 
'''Emily:''' Stopped at, like, a rest stop. Got some vending m-- [''laughs nervously''] vending machine snacks… and that's it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Oh.'' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' That's good; uh… ''Father'' was thinkin' about, like-- was gonna get us ''spaghetti'', and, uh… [truly flustered] we wanna sh-- we wanna split it be-- he was gonna split it between me, and, uh… I'm gonna split mine with you… 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no… I'm not hungry. Thank you, though! 
'''Chris:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' We usually split a spaghetti, 'cause I-- I can't eat it all! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… it's a really big bowl for him… 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Really… ''whoop!'' 
[''Emily laughs and Chris chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' It's not as big as I'd like… y'know… it's bigger! 
'''Emily:''' No… [''giggles''] 
'''Chris:''' Let's see… well, Dad – why don't you go get your spaghetti? 
'''Bob:''' Do you want some? 
'''Emily:''' No. I'm-- I'm not hungry. Thank you, though… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… we could get you some ''water''. 
'''Emily:''' No – I'm not thirsty, as well. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay – well, go ahead and get your sh-- go ahead and get the spaghetti, Father. 
'''Bob:''' Alright.

===Bob's Health Problems Revisited (29:59 - 32:11)===

'''Bob:''' Yeah – I got one other thing I was gonna tell you about… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' Since we've talked about it: on that, uh… I've died about five times now. 
'''Bob:''' The last time, I was at Golden Corral. The restaurant? 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh? 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' And… my mom was there with him. 
'''Bob:''' [''chuckles''] I just… hit the floor! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no! 
'''Chris:''' No – not really; uh… he was-- uh, he was pullin' out his credit c-- not really "hit the floor", but… he was pullin' out his, uh, credit card? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Chris:''' And he would've… hit a-- he was standing in front of, like, the cash register, and there was a bar railing there; the bar rail was there. If he-- if my mom wasn't there to catch him… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Chris:''' His-- like his guardian angel, he would'a hit the bar and would've been… worse… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' Would've been worse off! 
'''Emily:''' Oh, wow… 
'''Bob:''' But anyway, uh, now, I've got a pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Wow. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – and ''that's'' when he got his pacemaker. 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Bob:''' I guess that won't happen in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' But I-- I think the [unintelligible] reason why I survived all those attacks… which I think I'm ''proud'' of… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' I don' t know about you. 
'''Chris:''' ''He's'' proud of it. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'm'' proud of it. I don't know whether ''he'' is or not. 
'''Chris:''' I'm proud of him, for it! 
'''Bob:''' But I'm, um-- I found out a few years ago-- about… 10 or 15 years ago… 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm? 
'''Bob:''' That I was… at least one-fourth Cherokee! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – so, that makes me an eighth… Cherokee. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' So, I figured that-- and then, I checked back all my father's… relatives [unintelligibile] all the way up to be up in their 80s, and 90s, and even over ''100'' sometimes. 
'''Emily:''' Dang! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I figured: well, that's why I keep bouncin' back from this. 
'''Emily:''' Mm-hmm. 
'''Bob:''' This ain't my time yet. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – either that or, uh, God's lettin' him stick around for my… c-- for ''my'' case. 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta look out for him! 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Bob:''' [''cackles''] 
'''Chris:''' [''cackles almost identically''] 
'''Bob:''' Somebody's gotta pay the bills! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously again''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… okay, Dad, uh… you s-- alright, Dad-- 
'''Bob:''' Now-- now, I'm dismissed, so I can go [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh… [''laughs nervously yet again''] 
'''Chris:''' Well… not really "dismissed", because… y'know, I'm a little hungry myself… 
'''Chris:''' So… [''laughs nervously''] y'know, Dad, please go get the spaghetti and the bread. 
'''Bob:''' You sure you don't want something? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I'm sure. Thank you for asking, though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, I was concerned, myself. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Bob:''' Well, I'll let you two talk… mainly to save the table… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] Yeah… 
'''Bob:''' [''laughs heartily''] Then, I'll come back, and… 
'''Bob:''' If you don't mind us eatin' in front of you! 
'''Emily:''' I don't mind. 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' You better tell me more about this club you've got! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
[''Bob walks away'']

===Chris Fails at Flirting (32:12 - 36:48)===

'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – y'know, you-- uh… I must say you look ''good''. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you! 
'''Chris:''' And, y'know, you are the first, uh, female Sonichu fan to have actually come a long distance to see me. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – well, it's not that far! I’m sure, like, maybe some of the girls from VCU would come down sometime: like, maybe during s-- uh… summer break. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I mean, at least all the way from, uh, West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, that’s farther than VCU, I'm sure. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! [''laughs politely''] 
'''Emily:''' We might take a road trip down here. 
'''Chris:''' [in a sing-song voice] "Take a road trip! It's a little road trip!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Chris:''' [''does terrifying Donald Duck impression''] "And this is my duck talk! This is, uh, Donald Duck!" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] [almost fearful] Is that the one that scared that child? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… at the-- 
'''Emily:''' At Wendy’s. 
'''Chris:''' Uh… 
'''Emily:''' I don’t know how that’s scary. 
'''Chris:''' No – not-- not-- no – not-- really scary; y'see, he was ''tired''… 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… okay. So, you… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' But it makes a lot of children smile, ‘cause they’re familiar with that D-- classic Disney character. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… you mi-- you don’t mind if I t-- if I, uh, have my hand on your shoulder? 
'''Emily:''' Uh, not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] "Not for too long". 
'''Emily:''' ''Okay''… not-- not for too long… 
'''Chris:''' Okay… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''chuckles again''] This is like-- wow – I finally… get, like, this… beautiful girl in front of me… 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] Thank you. 
'''Chris:''' And she's like-- and she actually got to know ''me''. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Just, like, y'know, uh… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. So… what’s your-- what's the reason you need ''your'' glasses for? I’m ''near-''sighted myself. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m nearsighted, as well. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' I don’t have very good eyes. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] It's like, y'know, we’re close, so it's like, y'know, we don’t need glasses to see each other… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Do we? 
'''Emily:''' Hmm… no – it's still blurry… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. How do you look without that hat? I mean, I want-- I'd like to see the, uh… 
'''Emily:''' I-- I like this hat. My hair doesn’t look good today. 
'''Chris:''' Oh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Your hair doesn’t look good today? Are you sure? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’m sure. [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' How’s my hair look? 
'''Emily:''' It looks good! 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Looks good. 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Boy – I've had it sleepin' against ''pillows''… and I took a shower before I went-- before I went to-- um, crashing on the… couch. 
'''Emily:''' [slightly disgusted] Oh… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but I put on some, uh, bod-- body s-- some [[Axe|Axe body spray]] before I left. Do you like that smell? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – it depends on which one it is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Uh, which one is it? 
'''Chris:''' I believe it's, uh… it's called "Proximity". 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I ''really'' like the choc-- the new chocolate one. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – the, uh, "Dark Temptation"… 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' Oh – I was running low on that can anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… okay. 
'''Chris:''' It's like I-- if I-- if I-- if we-- if we was hookin' up, I would've gotten more of that! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs''] 
[Note: Chris both stutters ''and'' laughs through "if we was hookin' up", so it's not at all clear that Emily realizes what she's laughing at.] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] But seriously, though: you ''are'' cute. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – thank you. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. ''Mmm''… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I like-- I like this-- I like this-- I like the get-up you’re wearing. It's like you're-- you c-- you straight-- came straight from, uh… the, uh, PGSM… show. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, yeah… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' It's the live-action [[Sailor Moon]]. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I’ve seen some of the episodes for that. 
'''Chris:''' I’ve got the entire series-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Saved to my PlayStation 3, including the, uh, wedding episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I don’t… think I’ve… seen that one… so… 
'''Chris:''' Its, like, the very-- it's, like, a very special ''last'' episode. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a strange, baby-like voice] You actually get to see ''Usagi''… [back to his normal voice] and, uh-- aww, shoot – I forget his name, but, y'know… 
'''Emily:''' Uh… Mamoru? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Samoru. That’s it; ''you'' got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' You ''got'' it! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' You got it. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – I used to be a really big fan of Sailor Moon. Well, I still am; I’m just not as big of a fan as… nowadays. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] entire anime series? 
'''Emily:''' Um, I haven’t seen the ''last'' season. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – Sailor Stars. 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah''… 'cause it didn’t come out in America, 'cause they’re, like, afraid of the transsexuals? 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – I kn-- I know that. But I ''have'' that on, uh-- I have that on ''DVD''-- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, y'know, with J-- Japanese audio and English subtitles. 
'''Emily:''' How do you feel about that? Like, the transsexuals and… the Sailor Starlights? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Um… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' Does it, like, make you uncomfortable, or… would you-- 
'''Chris:''' No. 
'''Emily:''' Would you have minded if, like, it came out, and the TV showed just, like, little kids? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Um… 
'''Chris:''' ''Yeah''… [pitiful] I don’t have much of an opinion… 
[''Emily and Chris both laugh''] 
'''Emily:''' It's kind of a… sketchy subject, there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's, uh-- it's… [in a British accent] ''itchy''… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs nervously''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – but you can sketch a lot in your, uh… journalism, don't ya? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I m-- I mean, we don’t draw a lot; we just… 
'''Emily:''' We do, like, the little outlines, and then, we start writing. 
'''Chris:''' Okay – well, I mean, you-- I mean, you sketch your ''letters''. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I bet you sketch your signature pretty… don’t you? 
'''Emily:''' No – I thinks it's, uh-- it's just basically a bunch'a scribbles. 
[''Chris and Emily both laugh''] 
'''Chris:''' Eh… a lot of people would say that about their signatures, I’m sure. 
'''Emily:''' Well, I mean, some people just, like, put an X for their signature, and that’s it. 
'''Chris:''' ''Ah''… but not you. You put… 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' An E and… an S, basically. [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' Uh-- uh, an S? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – Emily Schiflett. 
'''Chris:''' Oh – ''that’s'' your last name! 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' "Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' Yeah – my middle name’s Julia. 
'''Chris:''' ''"Julia"!'' 
'''Emily:''' ''Yeah.'' 
'''Chris:''' "Emily Julia Schiflett". 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Flows nicely, doesn’t it? 
'''Chris:''' It's beautiful! 
'''Emily:''' Aww… thank you. 
'''Chris:''' D-- do you dot your I in "Julia" with a heart? 
'''Emily:''' No… [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
[pause]

===Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)===

[''Bob comes back''] 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Alright, Dad – uh, I'll let you, uh, divvy up the spaghetti onto my plate. 
'''Bob:''' I get to divvy it up! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [''chuckles''] 
'''Bob:''' Wow! Christian – I don't know… 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] my ''treat'' to finally come down here! I love their spaghetti! 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh''… really? I don't think-- I've only had their pizza there… before… 
'''Bob:''' Yeah – the, um-- all the spaghetti places in town are too expensive. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Bob:''' My favorite, though, is, um, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' ''Oh.'' 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – b-- but-- 
'''Bob:''' But they don't have one here! 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' But they should have one here. 
'''Bob:''' ''I'' think they should. 
'''Emily:''' [weakly] Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' You ever been to an Olive Garden? 
'''Emily:''' Mm-mmm. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Well, yeah – it's a good place to, uh, get, uh, spaghetti. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I-- I've actually-- yeah – y'know, I was there with my father… when-- the few times we visited, uh, Olive Garden. 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – a good place to get, uh, spaghetti; really good. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' And also, we've been to the, uh, few, uh, nearly-- to the ''other'' nearly esstinct, uh, restaurants: y'know, like Shoney's [unintelligible] 
'''Emily:''' Oh – I haven't seen a Shoney's around in a ''while!'' 
'''Chris:''' There's one in Chesterfield Count-- there's a bun-- there's a few in the Richmond area… 
'''Bob:''' And one over close to VCU! 
'''Emily:''' Oh! Really? I didn't see it! [''laughs politely''] Of course, I'm-- I'm usually not looking for them, so… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – we even ha-- yeah – we even-- at-- at home, somewhere, we even have a t-- we even have the-- the teddy bear: the ''Shoney Bear''. 
[pause] 
'''Emily:''' The Shoney Bear? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – it's-- that was their mascot. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' And I mean, if you look it up-- if you look up "Shon"-- if you-- I'm sure if you Googled "Shoney's", you'd, uh… find their mascot being the teddy-- 
'''Emily:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' Being the bear. 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' [in a somewhat cutesy voice] "Bein' the bear in the shirt…" 
'''Emily:''' [''laughs politely''] 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] "to… wan-- to wan-- to… gawk-- to ''gander'' at!" 
[pause] 
'''Bob:''' Christian – they got lots of juice! 
[''Chris chuckles and Emily laughs''] 
'''Chris:''' Well, ''you'' can have it… 
'''Bob:''' [inaudible] 
'''Chris:''' I don't need to, uh, ''slobber'' all over myself… 
'''Chris:''' Especially in front of my, uh, "lady friend", here. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. [''laughs politely''] Aww… 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Bob:''' [unintelligible] a little bit more? 
[long pause] 
'''Bob:''' You can deal ''without''… 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah – he doesn't usually eat the bread, so, uh, I'll take his-- so, I take his breadsticks. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get some more water. 
'''Emily:''' Okay! 
'''Chris:''' I'll be right back. 
[''Chris walks away''] 
[pause]

===(38:55 - 01:14:22)===

{{transcription}}

===A Walk to Remember (01:14:23 - 01:21:43)===

Chris and Emily awkwardly leave Bob who continues to ramble as they clomp off through the mall. 
'''Bob:''' Take care. 
'''Chris:''' Alright come on, Emily, let's, let's walk… 
Bob babbles on about sending something. 
'''Emily:'''Okay… okay, you can show me around the mall… 
'''Chris:''' Okay! Here's our… heights… You… you come to just about my eyeline. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous tittering* 
They walk quietly for a moment as Chris mutters something quietly. 
'''Chris:''' *sigh* So where you li… where do you usually like to go shopping at when you're at a shopping center? 
'''Emily:''' *impatiently* Clothes stores. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, they have a number of clothing stores in, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … a J.C. Penney and a Sears, among other places that uh, more name brands… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah a lot of the stores here are, if you take a look, take a look at the prices and they're pretty expensive. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… Yeah… but, you know, they used to ha- they used to have a Kay-Bee Toys here and I- that's where I got my- turns out- my thousand dollar shopping spree I won around the… around the Adventures- the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh. 
'''Chris:''' That sweepstakes, you might remember I put something about that… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' … you might remember that, uh, news clip… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! I've seen it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
Chris nervously takes a few steps. 
'''Chris:''' Wow… you're like… I'm sorry. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' I'm just fascinated like… you're just like… a character from PGSM or from- came all the way from Japan- just leapt out of my television! 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* No I'm definitely all American. 
'''Chris:''' You're all American. 
'''Emily:''' I'm all American. 
'''Chris:''' Okay- so it's just- it's just your eyes that are excepting. 
'''Emily:''' *shameless subject change* Yeah… so what's your favorite store here? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's- currently, since they took away the toy store- I think it's- I would say it's mostly Gamestop, but I also go to the bookstore or Sears, or even the Spencer's that's down on the other side of the mall. And they used to have an FYE here, which was a Suncoast before- before it- before they all merged and became an FYE, but then they closed that to make the next business here. 
'''Emily:''' What's down the other way… cause I've been… I came down this way, but I haven't been down that way. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we'll go down that way! Alright. I hope- Hope you don't mind me sticking around your left side… 
'''Emily:''' *bravely* Okay, that's fine! 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I guess I should keep my hands to myself and behave, right? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, you should probably do that. 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I'm just trying to be friendly. 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' But, you know, not- but you know- respectful- touch you gently on the shoulder or the back- 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean at least I'm not that guy from Inuyasha that… go- eh- go for the bum. 
'''Emily:''' *vomitously* Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Heh-heh, that's funny. Always get slapped in the face, he does. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I forget his name, I think it's Mamoru, or something like that 
'''Emily:''' Uh… . it's Miroku. 
'''Chris:''' *talking over her* Do you watch Inuyasha? Yeah, Miroku, that was it, you hi- you hit it on the head right there… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
Emily awkwardly walks several steps… 
'''Emily:''' *delaying* Is that the… food court there? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that's basically the food court. 
'''Emily:''' OK… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it use- it used to have McDonalds here- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' … soooo many years ago across from the Gamestop there, back then it was called Babbages… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' And then between them and Suncoast was FunCo Land and Software Etc. and they all merged into a Ga- they all merged into Gamestop 
'''Emily:''' Oh… never heard about that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I'm sh- I'm sh- I'm sure you must've at least noticed those game stores back in your youth- 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… I play video games sometimes, but not very often… 
'''Salesman:''' HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE HARAAGARALABHGH 
'''Emily:''' Oh, no thank you! 
'''Chris:''' No thank you! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… right over- see- where that *unintelligble name of store*, that's where PacSun used to be, where Anna McLerran 
'''Emily:''' Oh yeah… I've… I've heard of her as well… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… 
'''Emily:''' Is she still around? 
'''Chris:''' No she, uh- moved to Utah. 
'''Emily:''' Utah… 
'''Chris:''' She's a Mormon. Found that out after I met her. But we cam- but we- but we could became good friends and I gave her, uh, you know, gave her a going away/birthday party before she left for Utah… 
'''Emily:''' Uh-huh! 
'''Chris:''' For her 20th birthday… and actually her- actual- and actually her friends, uh, her friends and I got together and put together the party. *emphatically* I k- I bought the cake. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, that's nice of you… and… there was also Megan. Do you keep in contact with her? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah uh… no, not-no-n-n-not-been-touch with her for a long time. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' That's cause she moved to another state. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… did she move to Utah too? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, no, I don't think she moved to Utah, I don't even remember where she moved to. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' But you know, sometimes, I, uh, I dream I'm back in uh, Manchester High, you know, I get to see all my- all my old s- c- all my old friends… there. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Sometimes I even see Megan and John in there… John's her brother… 
'''Emily:''' Oh ok… 
'''Chris:''' Can you believe that, attending Manchester High like I was back then, 
'''Emily:''' *small laughter* 
'''Chris:''' … but yet they never went- they never been- they never been to Manchester High, neither of them. Isn't that… kinda funny? 
'''Emily:''' *slightly sarcastically* Yeah… that is kinda funny! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… FYE was over there… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I guess it's becoming a LensCrafters? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I guess… anyway here's the Spencer's. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… 
'''Chris:''' If you like looking at the, uh, naughty stuff- 
'''Emily:''' *quickly* No, I'm not into that. 
'''Chris:''' Not yet anyway! *laughs* 
'''Emily:''' *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Ah, but you might. But it's mostly humorous, anyway. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… well… doesn't look like there's anything down here… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… not much… not much to look at around here… the toy stores around here are down here… 
'''Emily:''' Oh… well I gotta get going soon, it's gonna be a long drive! 
'''Chris:''' Long drive… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Well I hope, uh, you at least, uh, keep the memories we've shared… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll walk you to your car, if you want… 
'''Emily:''' No, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom first… it's that time of the month… 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, when you're on your, uh, period… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… *nervous laughter* 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you know, aside from the, uh, first time, uh, meeting, this first meeting, uh, how do you feel about me? In general… 
'''Emily:''' You're a really nice guy! 
'''Chris:''' Thank you… 
'''Emily:''' I don't know why people pick on you and all that… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, they should get to know me in person… 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Chris:''' I mean I'm a gentleman, I behave… behave… 
'''Emily:''' *steering the beast* Have you been into any of these stores over here?

===Meet the Pickle (01:21:44 - 01:25:29)===

'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] Yeah, so, um, you wouldn't want to go see Watchmen, would you? 
'''Chris:''' Uh… no. 
'''Emily:''' I'd see that movie. 
'''Chris:''' *shocked* Uh… any particular reason why you're dressed up like that? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Not in particular. 
'''Chris:''' Come on, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' What? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Hey, hey, maybe the lady wants to go with me. Ya, ya want to go see Watchmen? Lots of, uh… 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* Why, what's wrong? 
'''Chris:''' The man in the pickle suit… a- it's apparent this guy's amongst the… trolls. 
'''Pickle Man:''' You think… 
'''Emily:''' What's a tro… 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Passerby:''' Sir… sir, what are you? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm a pickle. 
'''Passerby:''' You're a pickle! I love pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yeah? Pickles are pretty cool. 
'''Passerby:''' And who are you advertising with? 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm not really advertising. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just dressed for fun? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Just bored. 
'''Chris:''' Dressed as a pickle to HAUNT ME. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Excuse me? I don't even know you. 
'''Passerby:''' You're just bored? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Yep! 
'''Chris:''' *questioningly* You don't even know me… are you sure… do you have internet access? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Lots of people have internet access. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know Sonichu and Rosechu? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. 
'''Chris:''' Do you know about Encyclopedia Dramatica? 
'''Pickle Man:''' No, I do not. (turning to Emily) Want to go see Watchmen? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* No, no, no, she's with- 
'''Emily:''' Alright! 
'''Chris:''' … she's h- she's headed over to- she's heading back to her home town. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, Watchmen would be pretty cool. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, it would be pretty cool! 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, alright, uh… 
'''Emily:''' Let's go see it! 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah? 
'''Pickle Man:''' (to Emily as they turn to leave together) You've probably seen Watchmen (he refers to the novel), haven't you? 
'''Chris:''' (answering the question meant for Emily as he is clearly left behind) I've heard of Watchmen… 
'''Pickle Man:''' *laughs at Chris* 
'''Emily:''' Yeah! 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but clearly saying something to the effect that he doesn't like the Pickle Man.) 
'''Emily:''' *gloating* What's wrong with him? 
'''Pickle Man:''' What, you like pickles? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah… I do not like pickles. 
'''Pickle Man:''' No pickles? 
'''Chris:''' And also particularly a guy in a pickle suit who tricked me on the internet pretending that he was Blanca! 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Who's Blanca? 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs/grunts* 
'''Emily:''' There's nothing wrong with him! See, he's a nice guy. 
'''Chris:''' (inaudible, but stressed as he moves closer to Emily) 
'''Pickle Man:''' I think you're making the lady uncomfortable there, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' *stress sighs* I'm sorry, Emily. 
'''Emily:''' It's ok… I think I have… to go to the bathroom now… 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, go change my tampon. 
'''Chris:''' Oh boy. [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' [inaudible] … but I guess I do now. 
'''Emily:''' *attempting to brush him off* OK, well it was nice meeting you… maybe we'll talk online or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… I kinda… [inaudible] 
'''Pickle Man:''' (as they continue trying to walk away) Well, we're going to go now. 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well… 
'''Emily:''' I'm going to the bathroom. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, either of- (to Pickle Man) you're not going where she's going… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Uh, we're- we're leaving together. 
'''Chris:''' Are you with her? 
'''Pickle Man:''' Now we are. We're going to go see Watchmen. 
'''Chris:''' No! N- no! She's going b- you gotta go back to West Virginia, don't you. 
'''Pickle Man:''' We're going to go see Watchmen first. 
'''Emily:''' I'm kinda- just- gonna- Watchmen's not that long of a movie. 
'''Chris:''' *suddenly concerned for Emily* Yeah, but you got a five hour drive! 
'''Emily:''' *dismissively* It'll be ok. 
The Pickle Man and Chris indistinctly carry on a short dialogue. The Pickle Man seems to be asking Chris why he is following along, and Chris replies: 
'''Chris:''' I'm just staying close to my friends 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see ya! 

===Hiding Out In The Bathroom (01:25:29 - 01:29:34)===

There is a long pause as Emily hides from Chris in the bathroom. 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible)...very fashionable looking. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, thank you! 
'''Passerby:''' (inaudible) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
Another long pause as Emily finally leaves the bathroom.

===A Precious Farewell (01:29:35 - 01:31:10)===

'''Pickle Man:''' So, you ready to go? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah, my car's that way. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, her car's… Your car's [inaudible] didn't you? 
'''Emily:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, so did I. 
'''Emily:''' Oh, you did? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Emily:''' Which [inaudible]? 
'''Chris:''' Tha- that way. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… I'm over there. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. (continues walking alongside Pickle Man and Emily) 
'''Emily:''' Chris… you don't need to walk me to my car. 
'''Chris:''' Okaaay. 
'''Emily:''' This is… Alright. 
'''Chris:''' So, you have yourself a safe trip back to uhh… West Virginia. 
'''Emily:''' Oh… (feigning cheerfulness) okay! I might call you on Skype later. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, you take care. 
'''Emily:''' You too. 
'''Chris:''' Hey… (attempts to hug and kiss Emily) 
'''Emily:''' (tries to avoid Chris) No… no… no thank you! (nervous laughter) No thank you. 
'''Chris:''' (Chris gives up) Okay. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, see you. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well you take care, be safe. 
'''Emily:''' Alright, you too. 
(8 seconds pass as Pickle Man and Emily walk away from Chris)
'''Chris:''' (yelling from a distance) HE KNOWS CLYDE CASH! 
(laughter from Pickle Man and Emily)
'''Emily:''' (laughing) Mission accomplished! 
'''Pickle Man:''' Is he gone yet? 
'''Emily:''' I don't know, let me look behind. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay!. [inaudible] worse than me… 
'''Pickle Man:''' I'm so sorry. 
'''Emily:''' That's okay. 
'''Pickle Man:''' [inaudible] 
'''Emily:''' Yeah… 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay… [inaudible] man in the pickle suit? 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) 
'''Pickle Man:''' (laughingly says something about Clyde Cash) 
'''Emily:''' (laughs) Wait there… there's Frosty. 
'''Pickle Man:''' What? 
'''Emily:''' Looks like he's gone now. I'm gonna go tell him what happened. 
'''Pickle Man:''' Okay. 
'''Emily:''' (presumably walking to see Frosty) Yes! Still recording!

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?hgz03i1wj4n The Date Audio]

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Talk:The Wallflower

2010-03-11T16:51:07Z

JerichoJack:

Talk:Magical Man Potion

2010-02-28T23:43:14Z

JerichoJack:

<s>I shall TRANSCRIBE DIS BITCH... I guess.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:14, 24 February 2010 (UTC)</s>
:I fucking take it back. I don't even know where to begin on this one.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:18, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
::To whoever transcribed it in my stead. Please do not try to be hilarious in the transcription space. Chris is bizarre and horrifying enough on his own. He doesn't need your help.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:07, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
==Uhm==
Ok, this is ripping off steve urkel. That's for sure. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 19:03, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Either that or the Nutty Professor. Which is ironic since y'know they're both [[niggos]]. [[User:Magi-chan|Magi-chan]] 19:11, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
* The Nutty Professor you're talking about is a remake of a non-black version from the 50's or 60's. I think it had Jerry Lewis in it. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:21, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Who is that? A field agent, a real friend, a man kidnapped against his will?![[User:Killyouareself|Killyouareself]] 19:30, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

*Oh dear Lord, what if it's Clyde the FA? Also, for a moment I freaked out because I thought Chris really was trolling us--then I noticed his weight change. Still, it made me think that Chris would be a funny extra on a kid's show--that vocal deformity of his is an untapped goldmine.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:49, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

*It's probably the guy he's showing his PS3 shit in the [[Christian Love Day (video)|next video]], and I'd be willing to bet it's the guy holding the camera in the [[PS3_Tutorial_for_my_fans|previous one]]. Some poor bastard has integrated himself with Christian's life. We must know who he is. Friend, enemy, troll, social worker... [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 11:08, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

1:20 - 1:40 is ripped from Beetleguise.
Well it's not exactly the same, but pretty similar. Here is the quote from the movie.
Beetleguise: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little *action*. [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 19:31, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Also Magic Man Potion = Semen and Orange Fanta [[User:Killyouareself|Killyouareself]] 19:32, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

Is the other guy in that video Alec? It looks like he may be wearing an asperchu medallion, but I can't really tell if the voice is the same. [[User:KingTaco|KingTaco]] 20:15, 24 Febuary 2010 (UTC)
*Could be, check Rollin' and Trollin' to see if it's not the cameraman FA.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:19, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
*The guy sounds very similar to the cameraman in Rollin' and Trollin'.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 20:41, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

I still can't believe that another human being other than Bob has managed to venture into Chris's room. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:17, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
* I can't believe that a human is wearing Chris's clothes. Well, we're about to know if Kacey just had sensitive skin or if Chris is a walking biohazard.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:19, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
* This is... quite the disturbing development. If we look behind the shock value of a bona-fide human being next to our favorite staph incubator, I see a trolling opportunity of EPIC proportions. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:37, 24 February 2010 (UTC)
* That is mad, I was expecting some kind of event to mark Chris' birthday, but this is just surreal. Who is this mad troll? What will we learn from this shit? Only time will tell. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:22, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

=="Asperchu" Medallion==

Unless someone gives me a reason to believe that the medallion the stranger is wearing is an Asperchu medallion, I will remain convinced that this is a retarded rumour or assumption. --[[User:Niggastolemyfamicom|Niggastolemyfamicom]] 13:27, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

use your eyes, man. pause a 1:35. there's a goatee on that medal, and glasses. full screen helps. --[[User:Manzanera|Manzanera]] 00:22, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

==if I'm not mistaken==

Isn't that PodMonkey? [[User:Cadpig|- Cadpig]] 09:52, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*yeah that could only be him. some idiots are convinced it's alec however. -- 20:13, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
'''BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING ASPERCHU MEDALLION THAT'S BEEN SEEN BY EVERYONE BUT [[User:Niggastolemyfamicom|NIGGSTOLEMYFAMICOM]]!!! Why would chris let Alec into his house after he drew pictures of him being drilled in the stomach? --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 23:11, 26 February 2010 (UTC)
*I'm with Dan Dash here; I doubt Alec would want to go anywhere near Chris after the recent uploads. As for who the guy is... it could be the cameraman, but seriously, this dude sounds not unlike one Clyde Cash. I don't think it is him, but fuck, if it is, Clyde Cash is officially the greatest troll. Ever. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:43, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

Anna McLerran

2010-02-28T23:38:01Z

JerichoJack:

[[Image:Anamc.jpg|thumb|right|Never trust a Mormon troll]]

'''Anna McLerran''' (born 30 July [[1985]]<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>) met [[Chris]] through her job at the Pac Sun in the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. Chris has a tendency to pace in front of the storefront of various stores. The events occurring shortly after he decided to stop annoying the employees at Abercrombie & Fitch and start annoying the employees at the Pac Sun were what inspired her short story [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer]].

Despite the insight she gave into the [[love quest]], she is widely disliked. According to the [[Blanca]] Emails by Chris, she is a lesbian.<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Future dates with Blanca]]</ref>

==ED drama==

After Christian discovered the aforementioned story on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], Anna felt a need to defend Chris against the internet at large. In a textbook case of [[White knight|white knighting]], she edited Chris's ED page. Anna added a new section to the article, in an attempt to paint Chris as a [[Chris and Fashion|goofy clown]], rather than a [[Chris Loses It|perverse psychotic]]. {{quote|I wrote that blog back when I didn't know Chris personally. I got to know him soon after that, and we became real friends. He's a really nice guy, with a great sense of [[Random-access humor|humor]]. Yes, to the outsider he is quirky, and some of his actions and the things he says can be funny, but at the same time he cares deeply about his friends, and all the other good stuff nobody looking at this page wants to hear about. I just wanted to put that out there, though, since I obviously can't permanently delete the blog inclusion. I'll just have to wait until this whole website is shut down for good.|Note From Anniebannany<ref>http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=next&oldid=1997694799</ref>}} This passage was so masturbatory, it was assumed that it was written by Christian himself and it was credited as such. However, in [[December 2009]], Anna admitted to writing the article section herself<ref>http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6427862439</ref>. It is unknown why she had actually befriended him; whether or not it was to quietly troll him and laugh at his stories; or if it was genuine. Many people lean towards the former as she appears to have a bit of a sadistic streak. While she is well known to defend her friends to the bitter end, Christian included, she has a prejudice against the mentally handicapped (who doesn't?), implying that [[autistic]] people should be embarrassed for being, well, autistic.

{{quote|C-Chan continues to crack me up with his antics. I know he's straight, but LAWD. If that boy would just heed even a few of my warnings, I flatter myself to think he'd go far.|Anna (clearly delusional)<ref>http://annamclerran.blogspot.com/2009/01/el-dee-ess-bee-see.html</ref>}}

==Current events==

She currently resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, far from Chris, working as a Shipping Manager for the Family First Foundation<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref> and going to LDS Business school trying to get some bullshit Executive Assistant degree.<ref>http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790355640#/profile.php?id=1564560452&ref=ts</ref>

Anna has attempted to break into the art world with a seldom-updated [[DeviantART]] account, though her interest (but not talent) lies in writing. Anna has announced plans to write a book encompassing the life and failure of Chris-chan. As with many of her claims, this is to be taken with a grain of salt.

On the night of 5 [[December 2009]], Anna complained about pampered socialite [[Wikipedia:Nicole Ritchie|Nicole Ritchie's]] having appropriated a classic picture of Christian in his mother's underwear to use against tiresome faux-punk guitarist, Benji Madden. Anna, self-appointed guardian of the Manchild, kicked up a stink, demanding that the picture be taken down, as if it could not be found elsewhere. According to Anna, "he's autistic and does whatever the internet tells him to do :(",<ref>http://twitpic.com/s7pfi</ref> ignoring the substantial amount of depravity that he commits without any outside encouragement. Anna went on to criticizing the CWCki, claiming that "[[Lie|there is very little truth to anything those websites say about him]]. trust me on this one. he is an awesome guy in real life. super nice."<ref>Ibid.</ref> This is all very amusing when you consider her reaction to seeing the picture: "WHAT THE FUCK hahahahahhahahahaaha he's getting so famous!!"<ref>[http://twitter.com/ourladyanna/status/6377147359 Anna's Twitter]</ref>
==Criticism==

Anna is a polarizing figure for trolls. Despite her openness and apparent willingness to help, she is disliked by many [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] regulars, who accuse her of being an "attention whore" who promises information on Chris but never delivers, or of providing well-known information (notably about his [[Christian's name change|name change]]). Her appearances on the PVCC usually tend to be vapid attention seeking exercises full of retarded [[random-access humor]] rather than any kind of personal insights into Chris.

On the other hand, she is highly regarded by some trolls (who clearly don't have much female interaction) who fawn over her many [[YouTube]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYguLerBg8 dancing videos] and mistake her forced randomness for personality. Many foolhardy young trolls have attempted to white knight for Anna, only to be reminded that she is a lesbian (or at least uses that as a excuse to stop Chris from stalking her). This certainly hasn't stopped all the [[mass debating]] that surrounds her.

==Anna's b-day/going away party==
Before Anna left for Utah, Chris decided to throw a birthday/going away party for her {{cite}}. Fortunately for trolls, it was documented and Chris is seen outside of his natural habitat, [[Fail|attempting to socialize with his peers]].

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0689-ANNABD2.JPG|Everyone's favorite crypto-troll, Anna.
Image:0690-ANNABD3.JPG|A seemingly innocent party...
Image:0691-ANNABD4.JPG|...with cards...
Image:0692-ANNABD5.JPG|...the close company of friends...
Image:0693-AnnaBD7.JPG|...cake...
Image:0697-AnnaBD10.JPG|...(too hard to tell)...
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|...aaaaaaaaaand here's Chris.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|"You gonna get raped."
Image:0696-AnnaBD6.JPG|Yes, she was smiling, but you can see that on the inside she was dying.
</gallery>
</center>

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:AVDYT01-001.jpg
</gallery>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.annamclerran.blogspot.com/ Her blog]
*[http://dangerless.blogspot.com/ Her other blog]
*[http://thisisaskateblog.blogspot.com/ Another goddamn blog!]
*[http://mclerran.deviantart.com/ Her mediocre DA]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/mickylaren Her YT account]

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:McLerran, Anna}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]

Asperchu

2010-02-19T16:51:46Z

JerichoJack: /* Phone calls */

{{Ongoing}}
[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|The first drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
''This article discusses the award winning comic series '''Asperchu''' and its relationship with Chris. For information about the Asperchu series itself, please see [[Fan:Asperchu]].''

'''Asperchu''' is a popular award-winning comic series created by Alec Benson Leary. His deft artwork, gripping stories, and excellent characterization has resulted in the series gaining hundreds of fans in the few short months since its inception. Many of these fans were disenfranchised followers of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], which have recently become exponentially more disturbing.

==Similarities to Chris==
While Alec has stated that [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|Asperchu is not a Parody]] of [[Chris]], there are many similarities between the two. Both of them are [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[naïve]] individuals who find themselves somewhat out of place in the world. They both address the masses through [[List of Videos|youtube videos]], and both are preoccupied with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[sweetheart]].

These similarities between the two characters has resulted in no shortage of [[Chris and Anger|rage]] from Chris. He seems to feel that the only reason Asperchu exists is to poke fun at him. He also takes serious offense at the idea of a Sonichu who suffers from [[Aspergers]], for some reason.

==Chris on Asperchu==
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|The second drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
It's no secret that Chris hates [[Aspergers]] (and presumably everybody that suffers from it), due to some misguided sense of competition between Aspergers syndrome and other disorders on the [[autism]] spectrum. The knowledge that someone had created a series about an Electric Hedgehog Pokemon who suffered from the affliction did not sit well with him. He became even worse when the creator of the series himself started sending him e-mails.

The [[Mailbag 10#Meet Asperchu|first recorded communication]] we have between Alec and Chris implies that Alec had been in contact with him multiple times outside of the public view and that Chris had responded to these communications negatively. Chris didn't respond any better on his public [[mailbag]], claiming that Alec was jealous of him and alleging that the included fanart of Asperchu and Sonichu implied homosexuality.

Upset that Chris would jump to such conclusions, Alec [[Mailbag 17#Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo|sent him another letter]], depicting Sonichu and Asperchu having good, masculine straight fun. This letter was even more poorly received.

Undaunted, Alec continued to send letters to Chris's mailbag, thinking that perhaps the man he respected so much really just misunderstood him. A few of these letters were [[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|ignored]], some were [[Mailbag 28#Hey kids, it's Asperchu!|coldly dismissed]], but Chris's most [[Mailbag 31#Asperchu is the shit|notable]] [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|responses]] were were explosive outbursts of [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and hatred. Eventually, Chris began [[Mailbag 35#No comment|refusing to respond]] to Alec's correspondence, or [[Mailbag 34#Asperpedia!|deleting his messages outright]].

In Asperchu Issue C (or 0C), [[Chris]] made an appearance asking for help from the characters to save Asperchu. Later, he and [[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] met up with each other, leading to a standoff where Chris tried to shoot him. Chris [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|responded]] to the comic, mentioning that he was set on fire in the comic. [[Fail|He didn't seem to notice that he was also called by the name Ian Brandon Anderson, nor did he notice the appearance of Liquid Chris.]]

Since the Asperchu saga started really taking off, Chris's schedule for [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]] has [[stress|dropped drastically]].

Beyond this, Chris made clear that he also hates the comic because of its "uncensored pictures" and "low resolution and blocky pictures". Here, we see Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in action. The "uncensored pictures" he's all up in arms over are just minor posters hung up mostly in Asperchu's room and even so, they are mostly hidden away by the character's heads. Chris's "uncensored pictures" are done by the main characters in full view, despite the fact that Sonichu is supposed to be a ''kid's comic''. As for the "low resolution and blocky pictures", the artwork is done through an art program (presumably Photoshop, if one of Alec's correspondences to Chris is correct), thus it does seem a bit blocky. Of course, compared to Chris's [[Chris and Art|art]], it's the fucking Mona Lisa. It also helps that Alec is humble and doesn't try to act like his artwork is amazing and worthy of being hung in a museum.

==Asperpedia==
[[Image:Mao Bamboo Ling.JPG||thumb|Mao, rockin' sunglasses]]
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|Clearly Asperchu is pure evil.]]
After finishing the first three issues of his comic, Alec Benson Leary set up his own Mediawiki website where one could read all existing comics, as well as a number of articles about the world of Asperchu, and read fan mail answered by Mr. Leary. Soon afterward, portals were added to the site for other notable comics, such as [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]], and [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|Sonichu is Dead]] creator Sean August Watley's latest project, [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals.]]

[[Jack Thaddeus]], recognizing the incredible profit potential of Asperchu, immediately began advertising the new website on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris responded to these new ads, and his newfound knowledge of Alec's website with a [[Down with Asperchu|series]] [[12 January 2010|of]] [[14 January 2010|increasingly]] [[15 January 2010|disturbing]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|videos]] where he made his opinions on the matter quite clear.

Alec, being a gentle soul has not directly responded to any of Chris's offensive videos. When [[Down with Asperchu#Alec's response to the video|asked by a concerned fan]], he outlined his planned course of action as one of peace, citing his personal hero, [[Wikipedia:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]]. His webmaster, Mao "Bamboo" Ling has opted for a more direct approach, speaking to Chris directly in 2 short [[youtube]] videos.

Recently the large banner ad for Asperpedia was replaced by a link to information on the US government's efforts to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti, because Alec cares about the plight of his fellow man.

===The 19 January Demands===

On 19 January 2010, Chris uploaded 12 new pages of [[Sonichu 10]], which are centred mostly around Asperchu and the Asperpedia. [[Chris and his ego|Ever the heroic saviour]], Chris pictures himself, along with [[Ultra Sonichu]], destroying the slanderous Asperpedia and saving Alec's characters from their [[Asperger syndrome|terrible affliction]], with Asperchu himself getting an ''EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER'' and becoming "[[Mitch Sonichu]]".

Not content with this, Chris then issued an ultimatum to Alec through a blog post:

{{Quote|Although within Alec's Hands, Asperchu IS a horrific joke, not only because of the uncensored nudity, wrongful character usage and all that, but also because the whole thing is drawn in a c***py Blocky and Low Resolution way.

I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever, but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and Extreme Electric Makeover as a template. He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him Mitch Sonichu.|Chris's featured quote on 19 January 2010}}

Alec didn't listen to Chris's demands, instead keeping everyone there and just introducing Mitch Sonichu as simply "Mitch Chu", who appears to be a [[Homos|gay stylist]], as well as Whisp Sonichu as the character Whispy Sonichu, Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin.

==Apologies==

In [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|a video]] Chris has finally admitted that Asperchu is not a [[parody]] of himself or his original creation, Sonichu, and is instead a completely original character. He also apologizes for spreading lies about Alec, such as suggesting that he [[Mailbag 50|only responds to fanmail that puts him in a positive light]], and for the constant [[death threats]] against him. He also apologizes for trying to comandeer [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]] character (though tactfully avoids mentioning his blatant ripoff, [[Simonla]]).

However, Chris's real motivations quickly become obvious as he proceeds to beg Alec and Evan to help him take down the [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Advertisements|Cwcipedia ads]], which have becoming increasingly homoerotic and insulting to Chris.

A few days later, Chris made [[I am Alive|another video]] fully apologizing for his threats towards the four, decides to give up Simonla and delivers a half-assed [[Forgiveness Blessing]] to Mao, hopefully to finally remove the ads (which also included a [[parody]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] involving him and [[Snorlax|his mom]] and an obituary for Chris.)

==Phone calls==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary calls}}

{{quote|Encourage the fans that were originally my fans to come back to me.|Chris}}

On 9 February 2010 Mao sent [[Evan]] and Sean a series of seven phone conversations between Alec Benson Leary and [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. While these conversations were meant to stay between the [[Asperpedia]] staff, they were eventually leaked by Mao for the world to hear.

On 18 February 2010, an [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth phone call between Chris and Alec was released]].

==Sonichu Revolution==

When the CWCipedia was taken down during the [[Simonchu]] dispute, it appeared Chris was not going to budge and would [[9_February_2010|possibly set up shop elsewhere]]. Considering Chris's laziness, how long that would take was anyone's guess. The possibility that no new comics would appear for days, weeks, or even months was likely, and this didn't take into account how often Chris's new digs would get hacked. Fortunately Alec, being the nice guy that he is, decided Sonichu fans should not be deprived of the promised reboot. He took it upon himself to not only deliver fans new pages through Chris's site, but to also take care of the looming copyright issues that Chris had been unwilling to tackle. All while still uploading new Asperchu comics. Why Chris is so hostile toward someone who obviously has Chris's best interests in mind is a mystery.

===Sonichu Revolution Gallery===

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Sonichurevolution01.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution02.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution4.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution05.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution06.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution07.jpg</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Fan:Index]]: Other Sonichu-inspired works of art.
*[http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]: Asperchu's very own Wiki.
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Asperchu Asperpedia's youtube channel]

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]

IRC (21 January 2009)

2010-01-28T04:08:47Z

JerichoJack:

In which [[Clyde Cash]] approaches [[Chris]] about raping [[PandaHalo]]. Chris takes the news surprisingly well, practically forgiving Clyde on the spot and encouraging Panda to make sure her child knows its father. That, or just abort the damn thing. Either option seems perfectly fine by Chris's standards.

==Summary==

====The Build-Up====

Clyde tries to sell Chris on the idea of smoking weed; Chris is skeptical about the prospect, stating that cigarette's are 'POISON'. A troll points out that fast-food is more harmful than weed. Chris [[Lies|says he has never made death threats towards Clyde]]. Clyde says that he never intends to stop pestering Chris's 'gal-pals', and that he's turned on by Chris's death-threats.

====The Revelation====

PandaHalo appears, and drops the bombshell; she's been raped by Clyde. Chris is initially skeptical as to whether it really is PandaHalo, but a troll confirms her indentity. PandaHalo informs Clyde that, due to the rape, she is now pregnant; Clyde initially rages and denies the allegations, but PandaHalo sends him a photo of a scan done of the baby, forcing him to accept it. Chris appears to have been stunned into silence by this revelation, only coming to when Panda asks if he's still there.

====The Discussion====

Chris states he's okay with Panda being pregnant with the child of ClydeCash; Clyde asks Panda to move in with him, so he can help care for the baby. Both Chris and Clyde offer Panda a place at their respective houses, and each begins to make their case as to why they are the better father figure; PandaHalo has apparently become addicted to sex in the aftermath of her rape. Clyde asks if Chris wants to move into his place as well (providing he doesn't touch Clyde's weed), and suggests the idea of a threesome; Chris states he'd prefer to have a threesome with two women (the greedy bastard), though Panda is rather taken with the idea. Chris attempts to dump Panda; Panda rages, forcing Chris to retract his statement. The idea of abortion comes up, and Chris goes off on one about visiting Miyamoto; Clyde later points out to Chris that abortion is against Christianity, a fact he ignores.

====The Decision====

A decision is reached; if Chris can make Sonichu into a successful series and video game franchise with Nintendo, Panda will give the baby to Clyde and move in with Chris; if he cannot do this, she will move in with Clyde. Panda plans to have 17 babies, and name several of them after Sonichu characters (just imagine the shit they'd get at school...). Chris attempts to GTFO; Panda states she's too scared to be left alone, out of fear of being internet-raped by Clyde, who points out that this is an impossible feat. Chris leaves the chat; [[Billy Mays|BILLY MAYS]] appears briefly, and is apparently in CWCville.

{{Template:Incomplete}}

==Transcript==
<pre>
20:22 -!- Guest_ [~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
20:22 < whatsdaupdate> yes
20:22 <@falsion> oh shit
20:22 <@falsion> that hostname
20:22 < glitteringsyzygy> i'm boring and unoriginal, remember?
20:22 <@falsion> virginia?
20:22 -!- mode/#sonichu [+m] by canine
20:22 -!- mode/#sonichu [-m] by canine
20:22 -!- mode/#sonichu [+v Guest_] by clydeC
20:22 -!- Guest_ is now known as ChrisChanSonichu
20:22 -!- mode/#sonichu [+m] by canine
20:22 <@clydeC> sup man
20:22 <@canine> hey ChrisChanSonichu
20:22 <@clydeC> i'm more calm
20:22 <@falsion> Welcome, bro.
20:22 <@clydeC> smoked some weed
20:22 <@clydeC> you should smoke some too
20:23 <%Polly-tan> Hi. <3
20:23 <@canine> ok, i'm neutering you falsion
20:23 -!- mode/#sonichu [-o falsion] by canine
20:23 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I never have smoked, and I never will.
20:23 <@canine> PandaHalo
20:23 -!- Pinstripes [~chatzilla@Rizon-B9D10B68.rn.hr.cox.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 240 seconds]
20:23 <@clydeC> why not?
20:23 <@clydeC> you should try things in your life man
20:23 <+ChrisChanSonichu> It causes CANCER; it is a slow-acting POISION.
20:23 <@clydeC> weed doesn't cause cancer
20:23 <@canine> so is fast food
20:24 <@canine> fast food causes heart attacks
20:24 <@canine> fast food is just as bad as marijuana
20:24 <@canine> or tobacco
20:24 -!- mode/#sonichu [-h BlueSpike] by clydeC
20:24 <@clydeC> weed's safer than fast food
20:24 <@clydeC> just gotta get a vaporizor
20:24 <@clydeC> bam, no more smoke
20:24 -!- Kojima-Naked [~Kojima-Na@Rizon-52AC0D56.hsd1.fl.comcast.net] has joined #sonichu
20:24 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Look, I'm here to defend my Gal-Pals. I want you to CEASE Picking on
them, Clyde.
20:24 <@clydeC> you just get the nice high
20:24 <@clydeC> never.
20:24 <@clydeC> i'll never stop.
20:25 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 41 nicks [3 ops, 2 halfops, 1 voices, 35 normal]
20:25 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I understand you've been upset since Ryan's passing, but pestering and
tormenting others will NEVER bring him back.
20:25 -!- MikeJenkam [cgiirc@Rizon-9DF11FCC.dsl.bcvloh.sbcglobal.net] has joined #sonichu
20:25 <@clydeC> neither will doing anything else, bra
20:25 <@clydeC> so what can i do
20:25 <@clydeC> nothin' i gotta ride the wave
20:26 <@clydeC> if it's harassin' your "gal-pals" then shoot man, i'm gonna do it
20:26 <@clydeC> i'm gonna ride that wave
20:27 <+ChrisChanSonichu> That's just the thing you should do; Nothing. Just move on with your
life, and leave the other people in peace; help others in a Positive way; join a community church,
or a volunteer service.
20:27 <@clydeC> i'm helpin your gal-pals in a totally positive way man
20:27 <@clydeC> i'm freeing them from the shackles of your oppression
20:27 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Find Peace in yourself by Helping others like you would your own brother.
20:27 <@canine> chris, what if someone murdered your mother
20:27 -!- Citrus [~David@Rizon-620CF826.bltmmd.east.verizon.net] has joined #sonichu
20:27 <@clydeC> my brother wanted revenge
20:27 <@clydeC> that was in his suicide note
20:27 <@canine> wouldn't you want the murderer to go to jail?
20:27 -!- mode/#sonichu [-o canine] by canine
20:29 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I would be furious at the murderer, yes, but I would not want to kill
that person. I'd let that person know how I felt from my heart, and I'd make sure I had his full
attention, and all I would require is an apology, an empathatic smile, and a handshake, then we
both could move on with our individual lives.
20:29 <@clydeC> really chris? shaaaaaaaaaaaa
20:30 <@clydeC> but you wanted me to die?
20:30 <@clydeC> i'm some kinda rusy blade
20:30 <@clydeC> rusty blade in your various body parts
20:30 <+ChrisChanSonichu> You have my attention, I apologized heartfully, I empathize with you, I
extended my hand in a friendly handshake. All there is left to do is to forgive and move on.
20:30 <@clydeC> but you wanted me to die
20:30 <@clydeC> you wished for god and jesus to kill me
20:32 <@PandaHalo> Christian
20:32 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Yes, I did impulsively let that out in a short-lived furious rage, but I
set my aside to work on other things for the better; drawing a few comic pages, dividing up my
locks of hair for my Sonichu Girls, played some Animal Crossing City Folk. The point is I have
realized that I was under a misconception and confusion from the suprised stress. And now that I
feel better, I can better cope with my losses and move on for my bette
20:32 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Hey, Panda; talk to me on Skype.
20:33 <@PandaHalo> Skype is on my other computer, I'm at the other one at the moment
20:33 <@clydeC> so, you're lying again
20:33 <@clydeC> you said you would give me a handshake
20:33 <@clydeC> instead you want me to die
20:34 <+ChrisChanSonichu> No, no, no; I did not say that. In the longer-run, it is NOT the final
cause to physically harm any person, but to forgive and move on, as our Lord Jesus Christ has
taught us.
20:34 <@clydeC> If y'all wish to continue to badger Jason, I will not stop you. I PRAY TO GOD AND
JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL, as he gets his cheap, hellish laughs in Clarksville, Tennessee.
20:34 <@clydeC> that's not forgiveness man
20:34 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I relinquished the murderous impulse, and I only wish for peace between
us as individual humans.
20:35 <@clydeC> how do i know?
20:35 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I uploaded a video onto YouTube Just for you, Clyde. That's my extension
for a handshake for peace.
20:35 <@clydeC> that's not peace
20:36 <@clydeC> i know you talk with your gal-pals about plotting my death
20:36 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I have never plotted any living person's death.
20:36 <@clydeC> I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL
20:36 <@clydeC> man, you have some memory problems
20:36 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Again, that was an IMPULSE that was short-lived.
20:36 <@clydeC> stop lying
20:36 <@clydeC> say you want my death
20:37 <@clydeC> it turns me on
20:38 <+ChrisChanSonichu> No, Clyde, I do not want you to die and lose your chances for a better
future; I want you to continue living your individual life; you still have a LOT to live for.
College life, New Friends to make, a whole world to check out and many other enriching expeirences
I can't say off the top of my head at the moment.
20:39 -!- Guest_ [~Guest@Rizon-455AB8F5.bk22-dsl.surnet.cl] has joined #sonichu
20:39 <+ChrisChanSonichu> and think of continuing your family's bloodline in family; you are the
sole survivor.
20:39 <@PandaHalo> ChrisChanSonichu
20:39 <@PandaHalo> Christian
20:39 <@PandaHalo> I have something serious to talk to you
20:39 <@PandaHalo> I was raped
20:39 <@PandaHalo> ;_;
20:39 <@clydeC> oh yeah, i forgot, sorry bout that
20:39 <@PandaHalo> don't you leave clydeC
20:40 <@clydeC> fine, sarah.
20:40 <@PandaHalo> you're lucky you're back in america
20:40 <+ChrisChanSonichu> No offense, "Panda", but how do I know that you are the TRUE Sarah C McK.
20:40 <@PandaHalo> I have something to tell you
20:40 <@PandaHalo> Because I can tell you the story about when Reginald peed on the ceiling
20:40 <+ChrisChanSonichu> ?
20:40 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o canine] by ChanServ
20:40 <@canine> ChrisChanSonichu: i can confirm it's the real panda
20:40 <@canine> 20:40 -!- PandaHalo [~PandaHalo@Rizon-BCB4811.ip.adam.com.au]
20:40 <@canine> that's her ip
20:40 -!- mode/#sonichu [-o canine] by canine
20:41 <@PandaHalo> and that i sent you a postcard
20:41 <@clydeC> i'm gonna leave now, kay?
20:41 <@PandaHalo> no
20:41 <@clydeC> fiiiiineeeee
20:41 <@PandaHalo> I have something serious to tell you
20:41 <@PandaHalo> You may be a rapist
20:41 <@PandaHalo> but you'll be something much more soon
20:41 <@clydeC> what are you talkin' about
20:41 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Listen to "PandaHalo".
20:41 <@clydeC> no chris
20:41 <@PandaHalo> How dare you have sex with me without me saying that it was okay
20:42 <@PandaHalo> I should get to choose who to leave my virginity too
20:42 <@PandaHalo> I told you i didn't want it
20:42 <@PandaHalo> I asked to just talk to you instead
20:42 <@clydeC> well
20:42 <@clydeC> uh
20:42 <@PandaHalo> I was trying to help you get over Ryan's death when I met you in the city that
time
20:42 <@clydeC> i had a vandetta
20:42 <@PandaHalo> But then you got your cock all thick and hard and pinned me down, and pulled my
panties down around my ankles
20:43 <@PandaHalo> and then forced you thick penis instead my pussy, and it really hurt because it
was my first time :(
20:43 <@clydeC> but i saw the look on your face
20:43 <@clydeC> i'll never forget it
20:43 <@PandaHalo> It hurt feeling your thick big cock force it's way into my virgin pussy, break
my hymen :(
20:43 <@clydeC> come on, it wasn't that bad was it?
20:43 <@PandaHalo> well
20:43 <@PandaHalo> it felt really good after a while
20:43 <@PandaHalo> but that's not the point
20:43 <@PandaHalo> you shouldn't've done it without my permission
20:43 <@PandaHalo> AND YOU SHOULDNT RAPE SOMEBODY WITHOUT A CONDOM
20:44 <@PandaHalo> Because I just got back from the doctors
20:44 <@clydeC> but it doesn't feel as good man
20:44 <@PandaHalo> because my period was supposed to start a few days ago
20:44 <@PandaHalo> And he said my pregnancy test was positive ;_;
20:44 <@clydeC> i
20:44 <@clydeC> what
20:44 <@clydeC> fuck stop lying
20:45 <@PandaHalo> You raped me and filled my pussy up with your hot cum
20:45 <@clydeC> FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING LIAR
20:45 <@clydeC> NO
20:45 <@PandaHalo> and it made me pregnant
20:45 <@clydeC> NO!
20:45 <@PandaHalo> I HAVENT HAD SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE
20:45 <@clydeC> GOD DAMN IT
20:45 <@clydeC> NO
20:45 <@PandaHalo> I can even take a photo of the pregnancy test and send it to you
20:45 <@clydeC> CHRIST WHAT
20:45 <@clydeC> ..f...ffdsfdj
20:45 <@clydeC> dsfDFSJ:SDFF:FDFSDFSDFS
20:45 <@clydeC> SARAH, YOU STOP LYING
20:45 <@clydeC> I i...
20:46 <@clydeC> god damn it
20:46 <@PandaHalo> did you want me to take a photo of it now?
20:46 <@PandaHalo> i brought it home from the doctors
20:46 <@clydeC> fine.
20:46 <@clydeC> you know my e-mail
20:46 <@clydeC> let me see this
20:46 <@clydeC> greggmays@gmail.com if you forgot
20:46 <@PandaHalo> okay i'll send it now
20:47 <@PandaHalo> there sent
20:47 <@PandaHalo> go check your mail
20:47 <@clydeC> god
20:47 <@clydeC> this bette
20:47 <@clydeC> FUCK
20:47 <@clydeC> OH GOD DAMN
20:47 <@clydeC> you know
20:47 <@PandaHalo> ChrisChanSonichu are you still here
20:47 <@clydeC> a long time ago, i met this fine young lady who told me to take responsibility for
my actions
20:48 <@clydeC> she killed herself three months later
20:48 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Yes, Sarah, I am still here.
20:48 <@clydeC> fine panda
20:48 <@clydeC> i'll support the child.
20:48 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah?
20:48 <@PandaHalo> you don't even seem to care Chris
20:48 <@clydeC> I gotta man up
20:48 <@PandaHalo> I just went through a horrible ordeal and you don't care
20:48 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I do care, Sarah-Heart.
20:48 <+ChrisChanSonichu> and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
20:49 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I want you to know that I still care for and love you, even if this
happened.
20:49 <@PandaHalo> I lost my virginity and it wasnt even my choice :'(
20:49 <@PandaHalo> really?
20:49 <@PandaHalo> as my sweetheart?
20:49 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your
SweetBolt. :)
20:50 <@clydeC> shut up chris, you don't understand
20:50 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I do understand, Clyde.
20:50 <@clydeC> prove it
20:50 <@PandaHalo> You don't mind that I'm pregnant with clydeC's child?
20:50 <@clydeC> look sarah, i don't mean to interfere with your "love" chris
20:50 <@clydeC> but damn, i'll move in with ya to help with the child
20:50 <@clydeC> i'm willing to do that, because it's my fault
20:51 <@PandaHalo> you are truly sweet for a rapist
20:51 -!- Guest_ [~Guest@Rizon-455AB8F5.bk22-dsl.surnet.cl] has quit [Quit: Guest_]
20:51 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I can not undo the rape from Clyde, but I still care for Sarah very much,
and even if she is pregnant with another man's child, I will still care her and him/her as if
he/she was my own.
20:51 <+ChrisChanSonichu> *care for her and
20:52 -!- Guest_ [~Guest@Rizon-455AB8F5.bk22-dsl.surnet.cl] has joined #sonichu
20:52 <@clydeC> but chris, where are you in this?
20:52 <+ChrisChanSonichu> My heart is true and set, and I have made my promises.
20:52 <@clydeC> you've never been to australia
20:53 <@clydeC> what kinda promises you made?
20:53 <@clydeC> how many have you fulfilled?
20:53 <+ChrisChanSonichu> no, but I am with Sarah in mind and soul; I have promised to be her True
Sweetheart, as well as my virginity to her, and I am not a man who goes back on his promises.
20:53 <@clydeC> wow what a terrible promise
20:53 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I am where my heart is; in the right place.
20:53 <@clydeC> your virginity? i thought you cared about women
20:54 <@PandaHalo> what's going to happen to the baby
20:54 <@clydeC> i'll help you sarah
20:54 <@clydeC> don't worry.
20:54 <@PandaHalo> I can't believe I have another life form growing inside me
20:54 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah and I have grown in great knowledge of each other over the past 5
months; she and I are very close, like we knew each other for longer than that.
20:54 <@clydeC> you know nothing chris
20:55 <+ChrisChanSonichu> It's okay, Sarah. I will help you through that process.
20:55 <@clydeC> chris
20:55 <@clydeC> what makes you think you can see a child through?
20:55 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Just get here safely, Sarah-Heart.
20:55 <@clydeC> i had to see ryan grow until his death
20:55 <@PandaHalo> i'm confused now I have two people offering to look after my baby
20:56 <@clydeC> it's my child
20:56 <@clydeC> chris has no right in this matter
20:56 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, if Clyde is willing to take the child for himself after he/she is
born, then I'll let him
20:56 <@clydeC> i hope you don't mind livin' with me
20:56 <@PandaHalo> What do you think of the name Crystal Weston Cash?
20:56 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I have no problem with it, as long as I have you for my Sweetheart, Sarah.
20:57 <@clydeC> i prefer bonnie cash, forget the weston part
20:57 <+ChrisChanSonichu> it's Clyde's child; he may pick the name for the child.
20:57 <@PandaHalo> I don't get any choice?
20:57 <@clydeC> course you do
20:57 <+ChrisChanSonichu> yes you do, Sarah.
20:57 <@clydeC> chris stop repeating me
20:57 <@clydeC> you don't know how to be a gentleman
20:57 <+ChrisChanSonichu> You may choose a name for the child as well.
20:58 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I have been acting like a gentleman this whole time.
20:58 <@clydeC> chris, you've been acting like a child who's lost in the ball pit
20:58 <+ChrisChanSonichu> But why duspute over that.
20:58 <@clydeC> you don't know understand these complex issues
20:58 <+ChrisChanSonichu> the important thing now is the baby.
20:58 <+ChrisChanSonichu> and Sarah-Heart.
20:59 <@clydeC> chris, again, this ain't your child
20:59 -!- mikemelee [cgiirc@8834627C.539DC4BD.8B7D5E3C.IP] has joined #sonichu
20:59 <+ChrisChanSonichu> which I am cool with that; you want him/her, you can have him/her.
21:00 <@clydeC> alright chris, i hope you don't mind me movin' in with sarah
21:00 <+ChrisChanSonichu> As long as I still have Sarah to be my Sweetheart, I have no problems.
21:00 <@clydeC> really?
21:00 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Oh, NO; You can not move in with her.
21:00 <+ChrisChanSonichu> she and I had plans before you intruded.
21:00 <@clydeC> what? how else am i supposed to take care of the child?
21:00 <@clydeC> you never plans
21:00 <+ChrisChanSonichu> be a single father.
21:00 <@clydeC> stop lying again
21:00 <@clydeC> without a child?
21:00 <@clydeC> that doesn't make sense you idiot
21:00 <+ChrisChanSonichu> you be the single father.
21:01 <@clydeC> man chris, it's sarah's choice
21:01 <@clydeC> whether i can move in or not
21:01 <@clydeC> so sarah, will you let me?
21:01 <@PandaHalo> I don't know
21:01 <@PandaHalo> I want my baby to have a daddy
21:01 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, it's okay. I'll still care for you no matter your choice.
21:01 <@PandaHalo> so i guess you'll need to
21:02 <@clydeC> i'm competent in child raising
21:02 <@clydeC> i had to raise ryan up from a toddler
21:02 <@PandaHalo> will you rape me again?
21:02 <@clydeC> no, only consensual sex
21:02 <@PandaHalo> :(
21:02 <@clydeC> hey, you know you liked it
21:02 <@PandaHalo> i did like it it felt really nice but it doesnt mean i said i wanted to
21:02 <@clydeC> but man, you should ride the wave
21:02 <@clydeC> go with the flow
21:03 <@clydeC> if it feels good, do it.
21:03 <@PandaHalo> now that i've had sex i just realised how nice it actually is
21:03 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, if I may, you should Sweetheart the one who you actually feel
happier with.
21:03 <+ChrisChanSonichu> me or him
21:03 <@PandaHalo> dont you like me anymore chris?
21:03 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I still Love and Care for you, Sarah-Heart.
21:03 <@clydeC> oh chris, you know
21:04 <@clydeC> threesomes? you into that?
21:04 <@clydeC> it'd be interesting.
21:04 <+ChrisChanSonichu> But I wouldn't want to stand in the way if you should decide to move in
with Clyde.
21:04 <@PandaHalo> you wouldnt be my sweet heart if i lived with clyde?
21:04 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Threesome; ONLY with two women; Sarah and I agree with that.
21:04 <@PandaHalo> i'd be okay with two men
21:04 <@clydeC> see man, it's all good
21:05 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I understand the final outcome of either decision, and I would not feel
comfortable living in that situation.
21:05 -!- taub [~taubstumm@Rizon-6AE54B4A.web.vodafone.de] has quit [Ping timeout: 240 seconds]
21:05 <@PandaHalo> would you want to live with me and clyde and the baby?
21:05 -!- ArjenVanDierten [~cameronan@Rizon-C9A08BCD.dhcp.insightbb.com] has joined #sonichu
21:06 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I wanted to live with you and OUR children, and I would feel out of place
if I lived with you three.
21:06 -!- mode/#sonichu [+h ArjenVanDierten] by Polly-tan
21:06 <%ArjenVanDierten> ty polly
21:06 <@clydeC> so it's settled
21:06 <+ChrisChanSonichu> It's okay, Sarah-Heart.
21:06 <+ChrisChanSonichu> We will always have our memories.
21:07 <@clydeC> well, panda, you can move into my place in washington, pretty nice place
21:07 <+ChrisChanSonichu> :_(
21:07 <@PandaHalo> I can't believe you chris
21:07 <@PandaHalo> YOU SAID YOU'D FUCKING SUPPORT AND LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT
21:08 <@PandaHalo> NOW YOU WANT TO LIVE ME FOR SOMETHING THAT'S YOUR FAULT
21:08 <@PandaHalo> CLYDE RAPED ME BEACUSE OF YOU
21:08 <@PandaHalo> BECAUSE YOU IGNORED RYANS REQUEST
21:08 <@PandaHalo> AND NOW YOU'RE LEAVING ME
21:08 <@PandaHalo> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU IMMA TARD RAGE
21:08 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I am not leaving you, Sarah.
21:08 <@PandaHalo> it sounded like it :'(
21:08 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I never meant that.
21:08 <@PandaHalo> i cant stop crying
21:09 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I'm crying too. I'm going through my own confusions as well.
21:09 <@clydeC> look, you wanna move in with us?
21:09 <@clydeC> no probs
21:09 <@clydeC> just don't touch my weed.
21:10 <@PandaHalo> Christian what do you want to happen
21:10 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, I want what would be best for you.
21:10 <@PandaHalo> i mean with me and the baby
21:11 <+ChrisChanSonichu> The child should be raised by both mother and father.
21:11 <@PandaHalo> what do you think of abortion
21:12 <+ChrisChanSonichu> the thought had crossed my mind, but since it is Clyde's child, he can
make that decision to abort the child or take the child and you in.
21:12 <@clydeC> i don't believe in that abortion bullshit
21:12 <@clydeC> life's precious
21:12 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I want for you to be happy, Sarah.
21:13 <@clydeC> well chris again you can move in with me
21:13 <@clydeC> just get a job
21:13 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I agree with Clyde on the issue, but that is your call to make, Sarah.
21:13 <@PandaHalo> ChrisChanSonichu would you mind if me and you and the baby lived together?
21:15 <+ChrisChanSonichu> even if it was not my own child, I would still be happy to be with you,
but I would feel uncomforable if the true father lived with us. Again, I'd just be in the way if
you should move in with Clyde instead of me.
21:15 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Either way, I will never judge you for your own decision.
21:15 <@PandaHalo> why would you feel uncomfertable?
21:16 <@PandaHalo> would you want to put your name on the baby's birth certificate and be the dad?
21:16 <+ChrisChanSonichu> no.
21:16 <@PandaHalo> good because i wouldnt let you
21:17 <%ArjenVanDierten> hehe
21:17 <@clydeC> get out of here, i don't need you!
21:17 -!- mode/#sonichu [-h ArjenVanDierten] by clydeC
21:17 <@PandaHalo> so you wouldnt care for my baby?
21:17 <+ChrisChanSonichu> it would be like a king and queen and a chambermaid; the chambermaid had
the king's child; the queen can feel jealous, and the end results are likely not so good.
21:17 <@PandaHalo> the baby would feel so neglected and rejected
21:18 <@clydeC> don't worry, i got the baby taken care of.
21:18 <+ChrisChanSonichu> The baby would have his/her True father, Clyde.
21:18 <+ChrisChanSonichu> the baby will be fine.
21:18 <@clydeC> yeah, you be the queen man. feel jealous.
21:18 <@PandaHalo> chris what you prefer.. us living together with clydes baby, us just giving
clyde the entire baby, or an abortion
21:19 <+ChrisChanSonichu> my choice among those options; give him the baby and you live with me.
But it's still your choice to make.
21:20 -!- Pinstripes [~chatzilla@Rizon-B9D10B68.rn.hr.cox.net] has joined #sonichu
21:20 <@clydeC> ah sarah, you know you love me. you wouldn't abandon your child would you?
21:20 <@PandaHalo> so i can just give clyde the baby and pretend i never had it and then we just
continue our life?
21:21 -!- Pinstripes_ [~chatzilla@Rizon-B9D10B68.rn.hr.cox.net] has quit [Ping timeout: 240 seconds]
21:21 <+ChrisChanSonichu> if that is what you wish and feel will make you happy, then yes. But I
would want you to leave something of yourself to the child to remember you by.
21:21 <@PandaHalo> why do you want a MAN to raise my child when you say men are so evil and mean?
21:22 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I never said that all men were evil; only a bunch out of the whole.
Clyde has just proven himself to be a good man, because he is willing to take his child in.
21:22 <@PandaHalo> You think he's a good man after he RAPED ME? AGAINST MY WILL?!?!?
21:22 <@PandaHalo> and I mean, he DID destroy all your websites
21:23 <+ChrisChanSonichu> He realized his misdeed, and he accepting the child is his way for making
amends for that.
21:23 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I have the files on my PC, and I do plan on rebuilding soon.
21:23 <@clydeC> yeah, and your site was pretty terrible, doin' the world a favor by gettin' rid of
it
21:23 -!- Guest [~Guest@Rizon-80BDD102.cpe.cableone.net] has joined #sonichu
21:23 <+ChrisChanSonichu> That is your opinion, Clyde, and you are welcome to it.
21:23 <@PandaHalo> chris will you pay for my abortion
21:23 <@clydeC> it isn't opinion, it's fact.
21:24 <+ChrisChanSonichu> if you wish, I can save up for an abortion.
21:24 <@PandaHalo> oh wait you're saving up to go to washington aren't you?
21:25 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I'll likely miss that meeting anyway; I'm not getting much support on the
trip, even from my congregation and my family; even though I have proof from @noa.nintendo.com,
they all are still very doubtful.
21:25 <@PandaHalo> what are your parents saying?
21:26 <+ChrisChanSonichu> "one minute you say he's real, then you say he's fake, then you later
realize he WAS real; uh-uh, I am NOT buying this anymore; it is just too stressful on me."
21:27 <@clydeC> looks like its your fault man, you gotta live with that
21:27 <@clydeC> besides, abortion ain't christian, what is wrong with you?
21:27 <@PandaHalo> is your mother being mean to you?
21:28 <+ChrisChanSonichu> no; she's just old and stressed out; she'll recover.
21:28 <@PandaHalo> this might be your only chance to get sonichu to be offical
21:28 <+ChrisChanSonichu> she still cares for me very much.
21:28 <@clydeC> psh sarah, sonichu is a piece of shit
21:29 <@clydeC> i'm still plannin' to sabotage your stupid meeting with miyamoto
21:29 <@PandaHalo> clydeC: if me and Chris have children, will you love them?
21:29 <@clydeC> make sure you never make get that shitty creation into any game
21:29 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I'd like to go to Redmond soon, but I'm willing to sacrifice that for
your abortion, if that is what you wish.
21:30 <@clydeC> again chris
21:30 <@clydeC> abortion ain't christian!
21:30 <@PandaHalo> no that's okay you go to redmond
21:30 <@clydeC> what is wrong with you?
21:30 <@PandaHalo> once sonichu is a big thing you'll have lots of money to support me and the baby
21:30 <@clydeC> it'll never be a big thing sarah! you need a real job
21:30 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Besides which, Sarah, I wanted you to go with me after you got here to
accompany me.
21:30 <@PandaHalo> oh
21:31 <@clydeC> but sarah, i thought you were gonna move in with me
21:31 <@clydeC> i live in washington you know
21:31 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Mr. Miyamoto was most agreeable with delaying the meeting for like a
month or two later or so, depending on when he can be in Redmond.
21:31 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I wanted you to come with me, because I trusted you very much to be my
partner on the Sonichu Site and all that, and that I Love You very much as my Sweetheart.
21:32 <@PandaHalo> since I'm a partner in sonichu, do i have half the rights to it?
21:32 -!- cogsdev [~obey@Rizon-FB118C04.brnt.adsl.virgin.net] has joined #sonichu
21:32 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o cogsdev] by ChanServ
21:32 -!- mode/#sonichu [-o cogsdev] by clydeC
21:32 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I never said that, but after we got together in person and all that, I
would gladly offer you half, yes.
21:33 <@clydeC> man sarah you really want to live with this fool
21:33 <@clydeC> who doesn't have a job
21:33 <@clydeC> who can't take care of himself
21:33 <@clydeC> who shits himself on occasion
21:33 <@PandaHalo> I have decided what I'm going to do
21:33 <@clydeC> my god, sarah, you should move in with me
21:33 <@PandaHalo> If Christian meets up with Miyamoto, I'm going to give you the baby and then
just live my life with Christian and have lots of sex with him
21:33 <@PandaHalo> but if he doesnt, then I will live with you clydeC
21:34 <@clydeC> well then, since i care much about having a mother figure in my future child's life
21:34 <@clydeC> i'll make sure you never see miyamoto
21:34 <@PandaHalo> I hope Christian goes to Redmond because then I can be his sweetheart and look
after him and make him lots of delicious pie and sex now that I'm addicted to sex
21:35 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah. You'd stay with me on a condition of me meeting up with
Miyamoto? That sounds a bit loveless.
21:35 <@clydeC> chris, you gotta learn something in life
21:35 <@clydeC> you need to learn how to take care of yourself
21:35 <@clydeC> you don't got no job
21:35 <@clydeC> no money
21:35 <@clydeC> what are you gonna do?
21:35 -!- mikemelee [cgiirc@8834627C.539DC4BD.8B7D5E3C.IP] has left #sonichu []
21:35 <@PandaHalo> No I do love you but I want the best for my family and baby
21:35 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, can you still make it in early February?
21:36 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I will save up for the trip and take you with me.
21:36 <@PandaHalo> i have an ultrasound appointment made for February 26th
21:36 <@PandaHalo> but after then i can get them to refer me to an American doctor
21:36 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I see; not before?
21:37 <@PandaHalo> Are you okay with abortion?
21:37 <@PandaHalo> because, i can just push the baby out now and feed it to a dingo
21:37 <@PandaHalo> but i still want somebody that can support me for any future babies i have
21:37 <@PandaHalo> i want 17 babies
21:38 <@PandaHalo> Crystal, Reginald, and I havent decided on the rest
21:38 <@clydeC> haha, of course you do you silly little girl
21:38 <@PandaHalo> maybe Crystal, Reginald, Krystal, Rosechu, Sonichu, Christian, Christopher,
Rick, and im not sure
21:38 <@clydeC> but seriously, you think this fool chris can pay the bills?
21:38 <@clydeC> do you think he has the skills to pay the bills?
21:38 <@clydeC> i don't think so
21:38 <@PandaHalo> if sonichu becomes offical
21:38 <@PandaHalo> he will be able to
21:38 <@clydeC> which won't happen
21:38 <@clydeC> i'll make sure it never happens.
21:39 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah-Heart, For you, I will make sure I get to Redmond.
21:39 <@PandaHalo> Thank you ChrisChanSonichu
21:39 <@PandaHalo> I am really looking forward to have a great wonderful family with you
21:39 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Abortion or not; that's up to you.
21:39 <@PandaHalo> Sorry clydeC.. I might just abort your baby
21:39 <@clydeC> sarah, god's telling me that i must make sure this never comes to pass
21:39 <@clydeC> if you live with chris
21:39 <@clydeC> you'll make the worst mistake of your life
21:40 <@PandaHalo> don't feel bad clydeC.. for the sex we had it was really enjoyable even though
it was rape
21:40 <@clydeC> yeah, those were good times
21:40 <@clydeC> but still, i can help you life a fulfilling life for the rest of your days?
21:40 <@clydeC> you think this pants-shitting, penniless fool can?
21:40 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I have plans to make and things to do, I will talk to you later, Sarah-
Heart.
21:40 <+ChrisChanSonichu> :-*
21:40 <@PandaHalo> no
21:40 <@PandaHalo> dont leave me please
21:40 <@PandaHalo> i am scared to be alone
21:41 <@clydeC> you got me, sarah
21:41 <@PandaHalo> clydeC might rape me over the internet
21:41 <@clydeC> that ain't possible.
21:41 -!- Rosey [~chatzilla@hell.hole] has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
21:41 <@PandaHalo> Hey chris. Does your mother like me?
21:42 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Sarah, you can simply log out of the IRC, and you are NEVER alone, as
long as you have me in your heart, like you did for the past 5 months. She and my father are
Looking Forward Delightfully to your arrival. :)
21:42 <@PandaHalo> please dont tell them about what happened to me
21:42 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I Promise.
21:42 <@PandaHalo> thank you christopher
21:42 <@PandaHalo> i mean christian
21:43 <@PandaHalo> sorry
21:43 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Its okay. :)
21:43 <@clydeC> CHRIS!!! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL NEVER MAKE SONICHU A REALITY!!!
21:43 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I liked being Christopher sometimes.
21:43 <@clydeC> SARAH MAY HAVE THROWN ME OFF FOR NOW
21:43 <@clydeC> I WILL REALIZE RYAN'S WISH
21:43 <@clydeC> SONICHU MUST DIE.
21:43 <@clydeC> ROSECHU MUST BE PICKLED.
21:43 <+ChrisChanSonichu> I Love You, Sarah.
21:44 <@clydeC> CHRIS, YOU KNOW MY THREATS AREN'T IDLE
21:44 <@clydeC> I'VE DONE IT ONCE
21:44 <@clydeC> I CAN DO IT AGAIN!!
21:44 <@PandaHalo> I love you christian B)<O<
21:44 <+ChrisChanSonichu> :)
21:44 <@clydeC> CHRIS, STOP IGNORING ME!
21:44 <+ChrisChanSonichu> Clyde, Hasta La Vista.
21:44 -!- ChrisChanSonichu [~Guest@Rizon-1CC9B2F5.hsd1.va.comcast.net] has quit [Quit:
ChrisChanSonichu]
21:44 <%BILLY_MAYS> HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH CWCVILLE
21:44 <@clydeC> LOL
</pre>

{{FanChats}}
[[Category: IRC]]