CWCki - User contributions [en]

Soul Calibur

2015-11-08T00:24:14Z

John Wolfson: Added information regarding Mary Lee Walsh video

[[Image:SoulCalibur3box.jpg|thumb|[[Ivy]]'s namesake on the cover of ''Soul Calibur III'' (in the background)]]

[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|thumb|Transcending [[Semen|picklesauce]] and [[Ruckersville]], a tale of [[duck]]s and [[china]]s, eternally retold.]]

[[Image:Voldocwc.jpg|thumb|Chris, recreated in [[McDonald's|full Hamburglar regalia]] in Soul Calibur V.]]

'''''Soul Calibur''''' (often written ''SoulCalibur'' or ''Soulcalibur'') is a weapon-fighting game franchise created by Namco. While the series has a hardcore following, it's also famous for being easy to pick up – perhaps too easy, if Chris is of any indication.

==The series and Chris==
Chris's favorite character is [[Wikipedia:Cassandra_Alexandra|Cassandra Alexandra]],<ref>[[Mumble 6]]</ref> possibly for no other reason besides the fact that [[Women's rights|he favors attractive female characters]] in all other games. [[Mimms]] also said that he used Cassandra in [[Card games#UFS (Ultimate Fighting System) TCG|the UFS trading card game]]<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> and [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] encouraged him to stick with the "Greek girls" (Cassandra and [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Sophitia|Sophitia]]) in UFS<ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Megan is going to give Chris some stuff, appreciates him backing off]]</ref>.

In the infamous facerape scene of [[Sonichu 8#Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"|Episode 17]] of the [[comic]], [[Rosechu]] seems to duplicate Sophitia's B+G throw, called "Angel's Heaven" (''Soul Edge'') or "Holy Cracker" (''Soulcalibur'' series proper). It could also be "Heaven to Hell," which can follow up this move. However, Sophitia's attacks had several advantages over Rosechu's attack. First, cracking the neck is generally faster and more lethal than clawing a head open and electrocuting the victim. Secondly, Sophitia cleverly performed this attack fully clothed, granting the series 16+ age ratings rather than Cannot Be Unseen ratings. Thirdly, Sophitia cleverly elected to ''not'' shout some of the most embarrassing battlecries in the history of feminism.

Chris loved to create his enemies in ''[[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur III|Soul Calibur III]]'' and make pathetic videos where he struggles to beat them on the lowest difficulty setting. He has threatened to do this to various people, including the fan artist [[Evan]] and anyone who dared draw a [[pickle]] on his female cartoon characters.

In the ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' ad, Chris promises CWC and [[Sonichu]]-related DLC for ''[[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur IV|Soul Calibur IV]]''. With the most advanced boob physics to date this series has seen, the public at large would probably rather ''not'' see that pack come to fruition. (Unless [[Mary Lee Walsh]] is included, naturally.)

===Soul Megan===
Apparently he and [[Megan Schroeder]] were dedicated players of the arcade version, too, judging by e-mails discussing the purchasing of horribly overpriced weapon and ability cards to be used with the coin-op game.<ref>[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref>

One aspect of Chris's Megan obsession included creating a character of Megan in the game, which reportedly gave her the creeps.

{{Quote|And I don't like your "Megan Obsession" I don't like being [[Sailor Megtune|a character]] in [[Sonichu (comic)|your comics]]. I don't like how you made me a character in Soulcalibur and [[Animal Crossing]]. That kind of behavior really freaks me out.<ref>[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]</ref>}}

{{clear}}
===Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh===

This video is notable for being the first known video Chris ever uploaded to YouTube. <ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20071109102857/http://www.youtube.com/user/Sonichu] </ref>
{{quote|The EPIC Battle between the High-Functioning [[Autism|Autistic]] Warrior who was only searching for TRUE LOVE, and the [[Mary Lee Walsh|EVIL WITCH]] of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] who previously SHATTERED HIS HEART AND SOUL by making it OBVIOUS that it was ILLEGAL to have a [[Sweetheart]] of the opposite gender in Virginia... "[[Virginia is for Virgins|VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS]]!"}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = SOUL CALIBUR: Chris vs Mary Lee Walsh
| video = {{#ev:youtube|9wmmU8OnQp4}}
| stardate = 1 [[May 2007]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Violence|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Direct Feed|text}}
| previous = [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE#Watch|Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
| next = [[Chop_Chop_Master_Onion's_Rap_Showdown#Master_Onion_A-La_Mode|Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
}}

==See also==
*[[CWC Fighter]]
*[[Ivy]], who got her name from [[wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Ivy|Isabella "Ivy" Valentine]]<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?t2mvjgzqdod Original file]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]|nextlink=[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Master Onion A-La Mode]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2007| 2007-05-08]]

15 January 2010

2015-10-28T00:43:31Z

John Wolfson: Fixed piping

'''15 January 2010''' (officially '''01152010.MOV''') is a video that was uploaded by Chris on 15 [[January 2010]] in which he expresses his desire to [[Homos#Evidence_against_Chris.27s_heterosexuality|take on four dudes at once]]. Chris issues a challenge to [[Asperchu|Alec]], Sean, [[Evan]], and Mao of the [[Asperpedia#Asperpedia|Asperpedia]] to come to his house for a beatdown. Chris kindly drops his dox on YouTube so they can find him, because he hasn't done that already 40 or 50 times.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 01152010.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|osTMPXKfMkw}}
| stardate = 15 [[January 2010]]
| subject = {{Fanart|text}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Asperchu|text}}
| shirt = {{DogShirt|text}}
| previous = [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]
| next = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
}}
=== Transcript ===
(sighs) This message is for Alec, Sean, Evan, and even Mao.

You know what? I dare you four, ALL four of you, to come to my house at [[14 Branchland Court]] [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville Virginia]] 22968 United States of America... and we'll SEE who stacks out BETTER: the ORIGINAL, or [[Chris and Copyright|YOU CRAPPY COPIERS]].

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]|nextlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|}}

{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category: Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-15]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-15]]

User:John Wolfson

2015-10-28T00:35:43Z

John Wolfson: Created userpage

My name is John Wolfson, and they call me the pipe cleaner.

Christine Rosechu

2015-10-28T00:28:56Z

John Wolfson: Fixed piping

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] character
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:Cro.png|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christine Rosechu
|-
| '''Date of birth'''
| 7 October 2006
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Sonichu]] (father), [[Rosechu]] (mother)
|-
| '''Species'''
| [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] ([[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]])
|-
| '''Type'''
| Electric
|-
| '''Evolves from'''
| [[Rosey]]
|-
|}
{{Quote|THERE ARE TWO ROSEYS and ONLY One Sonee. Christine Rosey is Purple, because she is a Shiney Rosey. Pink for Cerah and Yellow for Robbie ARE NATURAL. NO CHEATING WHATSOEVER.
Why do people take such an innocent thing and make it obscene?|Chris<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 6]]</ref>}}
'''Christine Rosechu''' (born '''Christine Rosey''', [[Sonichu chronology#2007|26 February 2007]]) is the daughter and middle child of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] in the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' universe. Christine's name may come from the feminine variant of Christian's name (due to his [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]) or his obsession with the name "[[Crystal]]". It should be noted that while Chris was uploading images to use as thumbnails for his character bio pages, he attempted to display a non-existent image file entitled "''Crystal''Rosey.jpg" where a drawing of Christine should have gone.

Christine's purple color provoked debate among the [[fanbase|fandase]], who theorized that [[Magi-Chan]] could be the real father. Chris angrily denied these rumors of cuckolding, saying that Christine is a "Shiney" Rosey, i.e. an ultra-rare [[Pokémon]] with alternate coloration and the Sonichu is indeed her father.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 4]]</ref><ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Shiny_Pok%C3%A9mon Bulbapedia on Shiny Pokémon]</ref>

==Appearances==
[[Image:Virginmary.jpg|thumb|right|''Sonichu'': The comic that's not afraid to tackle child molestation.]]
[[File:Son11p39.jpg|thumb|right|Christine with her family.]]

The kids' first prominent appearance is in the sign Chris drew to show his support for [[McIntire Park]]. They've also been seen in two pages of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], as well as getting a quick mention on page 41 of the same issue. They spend the rest of their time being watched over by their [[Spanish]] [[homos|lesbian]] nanny, [[Heather Iglesias]], while their neglectful parents traipse around town murdering people at the behest of their father.

The hellish abominations spawned from Rosechu's [[China|loins]] have also appeared in "[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]", and in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]]. Christine appears in the [[Christmas]] pageant as the Virgin Mary, and evolves into her Rosechu form mid-performance.

The children also appear in Chris's [[:File:HelpHaitSonichu.jpg|disingenuous plea]] for helping Haiti.

==Evolution==

[[File:Son11p35.jpg|thumb|left|Christine recites the [[Wikipedia:Magnificat|Magnificat]].]]

On 12 [[November 2011]], it was revealed that not only have all the children evolved into adults, but that they have also formed a pop band: [[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]. Crystaline Rosechu [sic] is now a bisexual.<ref>[[August_2014_Facebook_Posts]]</ref> Note that this change comes after Chris [[Retroactive Continuity in Sonichu|wiped out all homosexuality in ''Sonichu'' #10]].

{{clear}}

<center><gallery>
Image:Robee_Sonee_and_the_Tomgirls_Bandmates.jpg|All gwown up! Yay!
File:Lego Cristina.jpg|[[LEGO]] Christine, proud bisexual.
</gallery></center>
==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Sonee & Rosey]]
*[[Guro]]
*[[CWC Update 12 August 2009]], in which Chris addresses the former.
*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]"
*[[Robee Sonee and the Tomgirls]]
{{The Tomgirls}}

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]
[[Category:Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Thank You from Christine Chandler

2015-10-27T05:13:41Z

John Wolfson: Fixed piping

"'''Thank You from Christine Chandler'''" is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] by [[Chris]] on 25 [[October 2015]]. The video contains a message of thanks from Chris to his [[fanbase]] for donating to his [[Etsy]] page and helping with his [[Money|financial problems]]. He also promises that he will update [[Sonichu]] soon. Unlike previous promises to update Sonichu, he made good on this one, uploading thirteen new pages of [[Sonichu #11]] the day the video was uploaded.

Notably, Chris's [[room]] is much cleaner than normal. Additionally, the video lacks the [[Chris and cinematography|green tint]] his videos normally have, implying that he actually lit his room before filming. Presumably in an attempt to deter [[trolls]], he disabled comments and embedding for the video.

==Description==

{{quotebox|Buy or donate directly to me on my shop, Cwcville Shop, at https://www.etsy.com/shop/CwcvilleShopping/}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Thank You from Christine Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|igd41tAdNJk}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2015]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Comedy|text}}
| saga = {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Blue Tomgirl
| previous = [[Super Smash_Bros. Videos#CWC's Vs Autism Round 2|CWCs Vs Autism Round 2]]
}}

===Transcript===

‘Ello! I wanted—This is Christine Chandler coming to you live from...my [[house]] here. Anyhow, I wanted to thank, personally thank errybody on the [[internet]] for considered support for my books [''holds up [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]]''] and works and my figures ''[holds up [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] [[Amiibo]]]'' and whatnot, and helping me out around here to recover from a whole bunch of the other [[Stress|stresses]] and whatnot. Hm. But that’s aside. But anyway, uh, the your, the your, I just wanted to let errybody know that donations are greatly appreciated, and I’ll continue to honor my promises as I have stated in uh, my listings on [[Etsy]] and everything. And I’ll include a link in the description where y’all can buy a figure, my book, or donate some more. Hm. [''[[Dramatic Glasses Removal|removes glasses]]''] Anyway, it’s all going good and well. Just wanted, it’s just my little video of gratitude, so, more new content is coming up. Stay tuned between my Etsy page, my [[Facebook]], my [[Twitter]]. So... [''thumbs up''] thank you all very much! That’s gonna be a very long page in [[Sonichu_11|Book 11]] with all, with the names. And I’m very proud to make...it’s probably more than one page. That’ll be really good. Anyway, okay, everybody have a good and safe day. Thank you again.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Super Smash_Bros. Videos#CWCs Vs Autism Round 2|CWCs Vs Autism Round 2]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2015]]

Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke

2015-10-26T17:53:08Z

John Wolfson: Directed a pipe away from "Lie"

[[Image:EloquentArgument.JPG|thumb|Chris's closing statement.]]

'''Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''' (officially '''01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke''') is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] in the early hours of 17 [[January 2010]]. After Chris finally changed his [[Chris and fashion|shirt]], he decided to read every page of ''[[Asperchu]]'' and give a critique of Alec's comic.

Surprisingly, it's not very favorable, and Chris spends almost ten minutes whining about all of the things he doesn't like about it, including a lot of stuff that [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris does in his own comic]]. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and [[Evan]] (but for some reason, not Sean) with the terrible might of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|pastor]] (who disapproved of [[Vivian Gee|Vivian's]] [[A_Girl_who_Brought_Down_the_World|book]]) and the [[List of Chris's lies|FBI]]. One of Chris's major points in his argument is that he was set on fire in the comic, and calls it [[Nudes|"horrendous"]]; apparently, [[Sonichu Special 4|shooting somebody in the legs]] is perfectly fine, though. Also of note is that despite Chris saying that he hates ''Asperchu'', he still took the time to download each page of it onto his [[PS3]]'s hard drive.

Chris also heavily implies that his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.

This video also defines what Chris considers to be "[[homos]]exually oriented". In addition to casting his male characters as homosexuals (though [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is straight) and putting pictures of nude male models in the background of some pages, Chris feels that his sexuality is questioned by characters using the word "fag" and [[Niggos|Jivin]] engaging in heterosexual intercourse (though Jivin's partner was very ugly and Chris may have confused her for a guy).

==Description==

{{quotebox|Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -[[Obesity|BIG BELLY -Man Boobs]] -Goatee -[[Glasses]] -wears [[Chris and fashion|MY shirts]] -[[Patti]]-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!

Graphic [[Nudes|Nudity]]/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2

[[Homos]]exual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21

[[Chris and copyright|Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References]]: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1

Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1

[[Chris and religion|Anti-Religious]]: Books A and B }}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ncX4KOlHtzA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 January 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} ''[[Asperchu]]'' Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] The Napoleon
| previous = [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
| next = [[22 January 2010]]
}} </center>

{{quote|He sets me on fire!}}

===Transcript===

[[Image:pattysvengefulsoul.jpg|thumb|[[Patti]] will have your soul for dinner tonight.]]

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate January 17th, 2010.

I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I shouldn't have not have had to make such a video, because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [''Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his TV.''] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages...of hi- of Alec's...''[[Asperchu]]''. Unedited, all fresh from the website, [[Autism|organized by page number]]. In my playlist.

[''The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a continually changing ''[[South Park]]'' "Dynamic Theme" background.'']

First off, just to name a few things, there's an o- there are the obvious...sturdy slanders! [''The cover of ''Asperchu'' #0 comes into focus on the TV.''] And obvious references to with I mean the [[Obesity|old Buddha belly]] that I [[Obesity#Denial|used to have]], exaggerated manboobs, and even the [[Rollin' and Trollin'|goatee]] I used to ha- I had one time. And he makes him- and he makes...his Asperchu character wear nearly every [[Chris and fashion|shirt]] I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.

[''The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like [[Patti Chandler]].'']

And then to make matters worse, he goes and be—sssmirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy flop- a crappy copy of my dog! My d- Patti will- Patti's- the spirit of Patti will [[Chris and religion|have his soul for dinner tonight]]! She will be haunting your [[Dreams|nightmares]], Mr. Leary.

[''Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of ''Asperchu'''s Take on [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]''.]

And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my charact- of my person within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia].

[''Screen returns to page select.'']

That was issue C page 19, by the way.

[[Image:BurningManchild.jpg|thumb|He sets me on fire!]]

And then even worse! Starting on page C29, [''Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu.''] he sets me on fire! He sets me on fire! [''Chris moves to the next page.''] And then even worse, continues lettin' me be on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the [[Sonichu Special 4|most outrageous ''thing'']] that he has ever done against me.

[''Back to page select.'']

But I could get- I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|peeing on himself]] within his own comic series. Starting with, of course, with a few from his first book [[Sonichu 8|of graphic nudity or sexual reference]] on page three of his 0 book. Even worse off, on page 10, and while he's in that Burger King! With all his goddamn homosexual references as well!

[''Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the ''Asperchu'' date plot in book one. [[Chris and reality|None of them contain any homosexual references]]. He then returns to the page select.'']

And he's done like a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these si- I- find such nude images on pa- on 0- book 0, pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, and book A, 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29. Book B, 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, AND book C, page 2! They put in so many ho- put, like I said, put in ho- so many homosexual references between books...0, B, and 1.

And he uses uncensored swear words, such as [''Camera swings back to Chris''] shee-it and ''ass''! In between all- in between all of his books! So many [[Chris and hypocrisy|goddamn]] of those. And his- and his A and B books are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books. That little son of a bitch, he's pee- he's basically peeing on h-his own self.

Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- few page- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of [[Sonichu_8#Alternate_versions|lemon for vagina an' bananas for...dick.]]

[[Image:LEMONS_cwc.png|thumb|LEMON FOR VAGINA!!! BANANA FOR DICK!!!]]

[''Chris makes a revolted face at having just said the word "dick", then scratches the back of his head.'']

And it was f- and da- and da- and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propate for all- for all those of ages, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|TV-Y7]]...and such. And I- and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, [''voice cracks''] but he does not censor his own swear words.

But like I said, [''Chris reaches down for his script.''] he's basically gone to the things aga- he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my- between the bu- between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing- h'yeah. A c- a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son- and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [''Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face''] and makes my- and makes what is- makes his ver- and makes HIS quote-unquote "Sonichu clone" go against me as being- as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s- the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar- as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano- that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from- aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.

And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number 0 on pages 19 through 24, including- ''including''- the homosexual references, he supposedly thinks there's a- that- he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville and it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [''Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it''] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [''Resumes wandering around the room''] HE IS NOT ''ME''.

So uh I am send this message again to ''Alec'', ''Evan'', and even ''Mao''- I have less offense with Sean by the way, but to those three...

[''Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry.'']

[[Death threats|DIE. DIE IN HELL.]] And I hope the soul of my late dog...eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep.

[[Image:Chris rages yet again.png|thumb|Chris on Vivian's book from a few months earlier. He changes his story a lot.]]
[''Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it.'']

But aside from that, his boo- his book is the pages within the so-called ''Asperchu''...series? [''Scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment.''] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [''Starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more.''] Even a horrific s- even as horrific as within [[A Girl Who Brought Down the World|Vivian Gee's own book]]. And my pastor rissal- Elizabeth Foss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh- My reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace...and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but actually this [''points to the TV''] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab- let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and to all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the '''''F! B! I!''''' We will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister '''''ALEC BASON LARRY!'''''

[''Pause, head scratch.''] We get the FBI on our side. [''Long pause.''] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!

Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.

==Rebuttal==
Within hours, [[Asperchu#Asperpedia|Asperpedia's]] Mao made a rebuttal video calling Chris out on his hypocrisy.

{{Deletedvideo}}

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|GNk24SsVxaY}}
</center>

The video was promptly given a prominent position on every page of the [[CWCipedia]].

==See also==
*[[Asperchu]]
*[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]
*[[Chris and hypocrisy]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]|nextlink=[[22 January 2010]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, January 2010| 2010-01-17]]
[[Category: Asperchu Saga videos| 2010-01-17]]

Michael Snyder

2015-10-23T18:02:42Z

John Wolfson: Correction - Mike was the manager, not the owner, per Mimms/Lucas Q&A

{{Template:DeadLinks}}
{{quote|'''Chris:''' I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder! '''Mike:''' He probably will. '''Chris:''' .....'''''JEW!'''''|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Manajerk
|-
| colspan="2" | [[File:HNI 0022-cropped.jpg|225px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Michael Snyder
|-
| '''Nickname'''
| Mike
|-
| '''Birth'''
| Mid-1956 (age 58)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Religion'''
| '''''JEW''''' (according to Chris)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Family'''
| Wife and daughter
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Manager of [[the GAMe PLACe]] (to 2011) Manager and owner of Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys (2011 - 2014)
|-
|}

'''Michael John "Mike" Snyder''' (born mid-1956<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>; Hebrew: מִיכָאֵל ג'ון „מייק“ שניידר) is one of [[Chris]]'s many enemies. He was the [[manajerk|manager]] of [[The GAMe PLACe]] (later known as Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys), a [[video games|game]] and [[Toys|hobby]] store that was in [[Charlottesville]]. Chris regularly caused trouble at the PLACe and was eventually permabanned in August [[2008]]. Based on his surname, Chris came to the incorrect conclusion that Snyder was Jewish, [[Niggos|yet]] [[Chris and race|another]] [[Homos|minority]] Chris seems to hate for no reason.

Due to his [[Naïve|misguided]] belief that he had genuine friends at the PLACe, Chris developed a burning hatred for Snyder over the years, describing him as a "bastard",<ref>[[Vanessa AIM Chat 3]]</ref> a "[[JERKS|jerk]]"<ref>[[Keep CWC's Wikipedia Up]]</ref>, a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew"<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref>, "cold-hearted and mean"<ref>[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]</ref>, a "sonofabitch"<ref>[[May 2013 Facebook Posts|I have had more freedom when my father was alive]]</ref>, and "[[pedofork|CHILDREN-FUCKING-DAMNED]]"<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts|Damn Michael Snyder]]</ref>

In June 2010, Chris had a [[Son-Chu|run-in]] with Snyder when he tried to take his picture at the PLACe, and on [[28 October 2011]] both Barb and Chris committed a more serious attack on him for which they were both convicted. Legal punishment has done nothing to check Chris's rage.

==At the GAMe PLACe==
{{quote|That was why the Son of a Bitch Jew kicked me out of The Game Place, Permanently, After YEARS of Loyal Volunteer Service in the Pokemon TCG League. I had apologized numerously before, but he's still the pigheaded, stubborn Jew he was then.|[[Katie Bay E-mails 2|Chris, being his usual humble self.]]}}

Chris's behavior offended the store's management in a number of ways. Aside from punting his gym leader duties, he scared the small children he played card games with, picked fights with other players, and let his racism and homophobia shine. He would also dump his video game consoles into The GAMe PLACe and take over the shop's flat-screen TV for considerable amounts of time, loudly sing along to [[Britney Spears]] during games, pitch fits inspired by his hatred of the [[HEXBox]] in the store, and much more.<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref> In April 2008, Chris's behavior got him a two-week ban from the store.

The trigger for his permanent ban on 6 June [[2008]]<ref>This date is arrived at by an analysis of Chris's letters to Katie Bay, Blanca, and his Game Place friends. Mimms' claim that the permanent ban took place in August does not hold up.</ref> was a shouting match with a young black kid. It was on that day that Mike permanently banned Chis from the store; although, as Mimms claimed, he "was looking for any reason to ban him at this point." Michael himself would later recall, in a response to one of Chris's videos, "I remember you as a child creeping out all the other pokemon kids, including my own, because even [[2000|10 years ago]] you were an angry, unsportsmanlike punk."<ref><s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRJlreNexFU&lc=H4DNT6hErMgcsSRClm-pu6iLL_1ZaF0ObFCT7h6BT-k YouTube comment]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)</ref>

Predictably, Chris did his best to appeal his permaban. He brought his parents in to argue his case with Michael Snyder, to which Michael responded by calling the [[police]]. Despite a fierce rejoinder by his mother [[Barbara]], Chris and his family failed to move either Michael or the cops, and every indication was that Chris would never be allowed back into the store.

==Years of hatred==
{{Quote|And I also hope that the Game and Hobby Place in Charlottesville… [[Destruction Of Chris's House|BURNS TO THE GROUND]]! ALONG WITH MICHAEL SNYDER!|Chris|[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]}}
[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb||Chris at war with Michael.]]

Chris has given many different explanations for why he was banned, but has never believed it was justified. In the [[Jackie e-mails]], Chris claimed that he had been thrown out of the store much earlier than Mimms indicates, in June 2008. It was in this month, according to Chris, that Michael Snyder forced him to stop hogging the TV for his Wii. Doing this apparently caused a number of kids to miss out on obtaining a few trade-only evolution Pokémon. Chris got angry, and snatched a card box to write "Michael Snyder Loves the "F" out of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]" on it. This so-called "Wii incident," Chris claimed, was Michael's last straw which precipitated the ban. This account is [[List of Chris's Lies|almost certainly false]]; apart from contradicting Mimms' more objective account, Chris predictably tries to paint himself as getting one up on Snyder, and assumes that Michael would know or care what a Mary Lee Walsh is.

On another occasion, however, Chris claimed that "Michael was scared of me and and uh, he was afrai- and he was uh, preoccupied with his crackpot theory of me scaring his- scaring his... customers away, so he banned me from the store."<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref> In December 2013, his explanation was, "he has his hangups against me (still has them); he's either frightened or angry at me for the one or two times I let out a loud shout when there was too much going on at the time and I couldn't take it anymore."<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails]]</ref> At other times, he has assumed that Michael is prejudiced against autistic individuals, and had discriminated against him. In any case, while Chris has sometimes admitted that he caused some small problems, he has not felt that they justified a permanent ban, and he blames Snyder's overreaction on an irrational hatred.

Even worse, from Chris's perspective, Michael refused to accept his numerous apologies and lift the ban. In March 2009, Chris made a clearly self-serving [[YouTube]] video apology to Michael and asked to be readmitted to the PLACe. The following month he tried again, posting an apology on the sidebar of another video. Yet again in October 2010, Chris made a bogus YouTube apology in order to look better to his [[Jackie|girlfriend]]. None of them had any effect. On 12 April 2010, Chris trespassed to pay a personal visit to Michael at the PLACe, and [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|tried to apologize]] in an attempt to get the ban lifted. Michael said no. Chris quickly dissolved into fury, [[South Park|yelling "Jew"]] as an insult and flipping him off. Michael attempted to get the fuzz, but by the time they got there Chris had already scrammed.

Unable to comprehend Michael's actions, Chris came to suspect that some greater conspiracy was at work. As the organized trolling of Chris shifted into high gear, Chris wondered if Michael was somehow behind it all. "What are you, A CONFIRMED INTERNET TROLL?!!!," he asked in July 2009. In May 2010, he put forth the theory that Greene County, Virginia school board officials had persuaded Michael to ban him, for no other reason than to make his life miserable. Perhaps because of this conspiratorial mindset, Chris seems to have jumped to his conclusion that Michael was Jewish on account of his last name. In his [[100 2178|his May 2010 video]], Chris called Michael "GOD-DAMN, GREEDY ... SNYDER", seeming to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In fact, "Schneider" is a German surname meaning "tailor" (and "Snyder" descends from the Dutch word for "cutter"). While some German Jews might have wound up with the name by anglicizing the Jewish surname "Sznajder", it doesn't necessarily denote Jewish heritage at all. The bottom line is that Michael is not Jewish.

[[Matthew Noble call|A phonecall]] on 10 August 2010 indicated that [[Bob]] (and, presumably, Barb as well) shared Chris's idea of the GAMe PLACe as Troll Central:

{{Quote|Mike's been [[Kick the Autistic|persecuting him]] for years and I don't like Mike. I'd like to speak to the owner of the place I think lives up here, up the road from me. In Madison or somewhere. This whole thing is a setup from the very beginning with my son. Now I don--didn't like it then and I still don't like it....Mike, and [[Megan]] are the ones that conspired together with a couple of other people--kids there that I think were [[Homos|gay]], to persecute and torment Christian for years.}}

On [[6 June 2010]], Chris had a few beers and drove to the PLACe, presumably to take a picture of Michael to make into a [[CWC is Angry|dartboard]]. When several people came out of the store to confront him, Chris got back in his car and attempted to flee, nearly hitting Snyder twice as he attempted to block Chris's escape. Two [[jerkops|police officers]] present at the shopping center stopped the fracas. At that moment Michael appeared on YouTube and commented "Christian is in my parking lot right now being grilled by the police. He [[Pedofork|took pictures of my daughter]] and tried to run me over with [[Son-Chu|his car]]. They witness this, and I bet they still do nothing about it." The officers listened to both sides, and then let Chris off with a warning after making him delete the pictures he'd taken. To present his side of the story, Chris posted an incredibly delusional [[6 June 2010|video]] in which he claimed that Michael had jumped on top of his hood and shouted, "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD!" He admitted to trying to flee from the police, and saw nothing wrong with his actions. Chris would tell a very similar fanciful story of [[26 December 2014|another assault]] four years later. Chris didn't tell his parents about this incident.<ref>[[Matthew Noble call]]</ref>

Chris's hatred of Michael only grew. He began to insinuate that Michael was a child molester based on no evidence whatsoever.<ref>[[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher]]</ref> He also assumed that Michael was a violent maniac. While making plans to visit the store in April 2010, Chris wrote, "I pray he won't get violent; if he does, I will defend myself."<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> On another occasion he said that he was so afraid of Michael that he did not want to confront him while "unarmed" and alone.<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> Ironically, Chris himself has on many occasions expressed violent urges against Michael, whether it was telling [[Lars]] that he would shoot Michael if he had a gun<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>, or wishing that the PLACe would burn down with Mike inside.<ref>[[Autism Tutorial Part 3]]</ref>

==Shit gets real==
[[File:Snider.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's impression of the Jew-Spider]]
{{main|28 October 2011}}
On [[28 October 2011]], just a few weeks after Bob's death, Chris and Barb launched a vehicular assault on the newly christened "Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys", newly owned by Snyder. Chris and Barb both hit Snyder with their vehicle and injured him. They were arrested near the scene and spent a day in jail. Both faced felony charges for failure to stop after an accident, while Chris also had trespassing and misdemeanor assault, and Barb had a second felony charge for assault on a [[Jerkop|law enforcement official]]. Mike also filed a civil suit against them both.

The trial was held on 10 July 2012. Despite his past history with the Chandlers, Snyder magnanimously pushed for leniency in the court case, as he did not want Chris to get a felony on his record. As part of the plea bargain however, he apparently insisted on his medical bills being paid in full by the Chandlers. This prompted Chris to openly refer to Snyder as a "thieving liar" '''in court''' (though Snyder himself was apparently not in attendance), showing a complete lack of gratitude to a man who had showed an amazing level of kindness considering the circumstances.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went|First-hand report by Cyan and Indigo]]</ref>

In September 2013, Chris's felony charge was amended to a misdemeanor, and his sentence was suspended.
{{-}}
==The hatred continues==
{{quote|I hate Snyder with a passion for destroying my life the way he did.|Chris following the trial.}}
[[File:Sept13 Imgur 30.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's [[LEGO]] voodoo doll of Snyder. He shakes this container and holds it upside down to torture him.]]
Chris learned nothing from this run-in with the law and and his anger towards Michael intensified. As with the previous run-in, Chris related an extremely distorted account of the incident immediately after the fact. "Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls." What's more, the only reason they had entered the store was because Mike had set a "trap" by posting a sign saying that there was a "new owner." He has never deviated from this interpretation. The fact that Michael actually won the court case shocked Chris, and he saw this as a theft by Michael from himself and his mother.

As Chris continued to dwell on these issues, he came up with a new conspiracy to explain his original ban. In this version, [[Megan]] had recruited Michael into a conspiracy to destroy his life. Just as Chris and his parents had been coming close to discovering this Game PLACe conspiracy, Michael banned him. Furthermore, as part of the "trap" Michael had laid on 28 October 2011, he had bribed the police to beat him up and falsify their reports. By September 2013, he saw Michael, Megan and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] as a sort of axis of evil, "the Top Three Fiends and Enemies of my lifetime; the ones who actually have Devastated my Heart, my Soul, my Reutation Online AND in Person/Real Life, my Emotions, AND my Life in General all-around."<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Voodoo-Wise]]</ref>

In a Facebook status update from 13 February 2012, Chris recounted a brief dispute with his mother, instigated when Chris flipped off a [[Jerkop]]. He concluded with a somewhat cryptic remark: "I do not want Michael Snyder's blood on my mother's hands." Whether Barbara has developed an irrational hatred of Snyder to match her son's, or whether Chris is simply being dramatic, remains uncertain.

Chris claimed that he randomly encountered Snyder in public some time in August 2013:

{{quotebox|WTH... The same [[Manajerks|Manajerk]] of Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys gave me the finger at [[List of restaurants#Sheetz|Sheetz]] in [[Ruckersville, VA|Ruckersville]], and threatened me with "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you" in my face at [[McDonald's|McDonalds]] in Ruckersville; both in the same Morning a few weeks ago. I did not respond to either at the times. He violate his own "restraining order".<ref>[[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Offline Troll/Bully]]</ref>}}

Chris clearly interpreted Mike's calming words as a threat. He also displayed his characteristic ignorance of [[Chris and the Law|the law]] - Chris was required to keep away from Snyder, not vice versa.

As of June 2014, Cville's Hobbies, Games and Toys was closed, for unknown reasons. Chris took some comfort from this, assuming that Michael's "get-rich-quick scheme" of filing the civil suit had somehow failed.<ref>[[Medallions|The Mr. Smith Situation]]</ref> Whether Michael succumbed to Chris's curses, emigrated to Israel, or met some other fate is unclear.

In [[April 2015]], Chris blew up over a Daily Mail UK article saying that [[Richmond]] is the happiest city in America, citing people like Michael, Mary, every Jerkop and Manajerk, and "Randy from Best Buy".
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[6 June 2010]]
*[[28 October 2011]]
*[[The GAMe PLACe]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRcholic YouTube account]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Snyder, Michael}}
[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Match.com

2015-10-18T06:58:27Z

John Wolfson: Fixed piping

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]) and a page on his [[CWC's Pokésite 2|Pokésite]] seeking a girlfriend ages 18-22 (implying a year of [[2004]]) mentions it, so perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. The precise date in which Chris openend the second profile is not known. It is certain to to have been made after [[March 2011]]; in the second profile Chris describes himself as a [[Tomgirl]], and as he told [[Jackie]] he started cross-dressing at the begining to March 2011.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==
'''"Bless me with your sweetness, and I will do what I can for you."'''

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Match.com

2015-10-18T06:57:40Z

John Wolfson: Adds minor information regarding dates.

[[File:Matchdotcomscreencap.jpg|thumb|Chris's awful profile, preserved forever in jpg form.]]

Probably the most famous dating site on [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], '''Match.com''' has helped thousands of people worldwide meet members of the opposite sex (or in some cases the [[Homos|same sex]]). The site is overflowing with [[boyfriend-free girls]] looking for everything from long-term relationships to casual sex. This being the case, Chris's presence on the site was practically inevitable.

Chris set up an account under the username "SonichuCWC" ages ago, back in the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' days. The profile probably dates to some time in [[2006]], since it indicates he's seeking a woman aged 18–24 (Chris's current age is invariably the upper limit for the age of a prospective sweetheart). However, he also claims to be "doing well" at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] (which he graduated in [[2005]]) and a page on his [[Pokésite|CWC's Pokésite 2]] seeking a girlfriend ages 18-22 (implying a year of [[2004]]) mentions it, so perhaps he made this profile while in PVCC and later updated it.

He doesn't seem to have updated it since, and yet he's logged into the site as recently as 6 [[April 2010]], which is surprising considering how quickly he abandoned his [[Dating profiles#OKCupid|OKCupid profile]].

The text of the page is pretty similar to everything Chris has vomited onto the internet before he [[The Hook Cafe|gave up on "true love" altogether]]: claims about how he keeps his promises, is [[honest]], etc. There are, however, a few interesting deviations from the Chris norm. He fails to indicate his religion, and in the sports and interests field, he apparently checked every single box, making the majority of the items in the list outright lies. He also said he would accept a [[Cherokian|Native American]] mate, instead of his usual demand of a White/Asian woman.

Chris's old Match.com profile was eventually deleted, but a new profile under the username "cwcvilleguardian" was discovered on [[2013|August 2013]]. The precise date in which Chris openend the second profile is not known. It is certain to to have been made after [[March 2011]]; in the second profile Chris describes himself as a [[Tomgirl]], and as he told [[Jackie]] he started cross-dressing at the begining to March 2011.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref> Reproduced below are the two profiles in question.

==SonichuCWC profile text==
[[File:Matchdotcom1.jpeg|thumb|One of Chris's 4 profile pictures]]
[[File:Matchdotcom2.jpeg|thumb|And another.]]
'''Help a lonesome and sad man find some companionship. ;8)'''

28-year-old man [''Note: Chris created this page when he was 24. Match.com automatically updates the profile age.]
 [[wikipedia:Advance Mills, Virginia|Advance Mills]], [[Virginia]], [[United States]] ''[Note: Chris litsted Advance Mills as his location in both this profile and his cwcvilleguardian profiles. As far as it is publicly known Chris has never lived there, and we do not know why it was listed it as his location.]''
 seeking women 18-24
 within 25 miles of Advance Mills, Virginia, United States
 '''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Some]][[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|day]]
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''[[Fat|Body type:]]''' [[WeighIn|About average]] [''This would be about 140 lbs/64 kg, far less than Chris ever was'']
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Religion:''' [[Chris and religion|No Answer]]
 '''Smoke:''' [[Tobacky|No Way]]
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Never]]

===About me and who I'm looking for===
I feel that I am [[Naive|young at heart]], because I enjoy the seemingly child-like things I do like playing with [[Lego]]s, [[Pokemon]], [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Chris and art|drawing cartoonishly]]. I am also creator of my Pokemon character, [[Sonichu]]. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a pretty girl who likes [[Chris and sex|some of the things I do]]. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone. In a nutshell, my girl should be: 18-24, lives in the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area, has a happy, positive personality, [[Pedofork|young at heart]], [[Chris and reality|very pretty]], Average income, and [[Noviophobia|does not already have a Boyfriend]]. Also, trading card games, she could play said game(s) with me at the Pokemon League event that I go to weekly. Also, I have graduated from [[High School]] with [[Honor Roll]], [[Chris and Reality|I am doing very well at]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], and I can express my feelings after putting them into words with my thinking mind. And if there's anything that I left out, well... oops. I am a shy, very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters,

===In my Own Words===
'''for fun:''' I enjoy [[Chris and art|drawing]], listening to music, playing video games and [[Pokemon]] or [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] [[card games]]. I also like [[anime]], creating with [[Lego]] pieces, and I love [[Barb|my]] [[Bob|family]]. And sometimes, I work on [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|my Sonichu Site]].

'''[[Chris's education|my education]]:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[Charlottesville]] where I am working towards a [[CADD]] degree.

'''favorite hot spots:''' I go to the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping center]] on Saturdays, the Downtown Mall's [[The GAMe PLACe|Comic Game & Hobby Place]] (Pokemon League/Yu-Gi-Oh) on Fridays and Saturdays, and you can also find me at [[Wal-Mart]] in C-Ville on most other days of the week.

'''favorite things:''' In a list: Sonichu, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, most kinds of music, [[Mary Poppins]] (movie), Colors: blue and red, creating home-made trading cards (for fun and art), and looking at the [[China|lovely scenery]] on the [[UVA]] campus.

===About me===
'''[[Hair]]:''' Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|Blue]]
 '''Sports and exercise:''' Baseball, [[Bionic|Basketball]], Bowling, [[Fridays After Five|Dancing]], Football, Golf, In-line skating, Racquet sports, [[Sonichu's Edge|Running]], Soccer, Swimming, VolleyBall, [[A Hike|Walking / Hiking]], [[11042009 51 50|Weights / Machines]]
 '''Exercise habits:''' Exercise 1-2 times per week
 '''Interests:''' [[Coffee Place|Coffee]] and conversation, [[SpaghettiRoutine|Cooking]], [[McDonald's|Dining out]], [[Ohio trip|Exploring new areas]], Fishing/Hunting, [[Chris and art|Hobbies and crafts]], [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Movies/Videos]], Museums and art, [[Music]] and [[Fridays After Five|concerts]], [[Chris's Big Night Out|Nightclubs]]/[[Chris's Big Night Out II|Dancing]], [[Card games|Playing cards]], [[Bionic|Playing sports]], [[Chris and money|Shopping/Antiques]], [[Video games]], Volunteering
 '''Education:''' [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]]
 '''Occupation:''' [[Wendy's|No Answer]]
 '''Income:''' [[Monthly tugboat|No Answer]]
 '''Languages:''' Spanish
 '''Politics:''' Middle of the Road
 '''Sign:''' [[I Got A Fish|Pisces]]
 '''Pets I have:''' [[Cats]], [[Patti|Dogs]]
 '''Pets I like:''' Birds, Fish, Horses

===About my date===
'''Hair:''' Black, Blonde, Dark blonde, Dark brown, Light brown
 '''Eyes:''' [[Heterochromia|No Answer]]
 '''Height:''' 5'0" (152cms) to 5'10" (178cms)
 '''Body type:''' About average, Athletic and toned, Slender
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Cherokian|Native American]], [[Chris and race|White / Caucasian]]
 '''Faith:''' No Answer
 '''Education:''' [[High school]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Some college]], [[CADD|Associates degree]], [[Chris and reality|Bachelors degree, Graduate degree, PhD / Post Doctoral]]
 '''Job:''' No Answer
 '''Income:''' No Answer
 '''[[Tobacky|Smoke]]:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' Never
 '''Relationships:''' [[Virgin with rage|Never Married]]
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' [[Reginald Chandler|Definitely]], [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Someday]]

==cwcvilleguardian profile text==
'''"Bless me with your sweetness, and I will do what I can for you."'''

32 year old man
 Advance Mills, [[Virginia]], [[United States]]
 seeking women 25-30
 within 25 miles of [[Ruckersville]], [[VA]]

===His details===

'''Relationships:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Want kids:''' Definitely
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Native American]], White / Caucasian
 '''Body type:''' About average
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Religion:''' Christian / Other ''[Note: As of the time of this writing (20 June 2014), Match.com allows its users to list as their religion four options pertaining to Christianity: "Christian / Catholic", "Christian / LDS", "Christian / Protestant" and "Christian / Other". Why did Chris chose the last option when "Christian / Protestant" is more fitting of him is not known.]''
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''[[Alcohol|Drink]]:''' [[Chris's Big Night Out|Social Drinker]]

===In his own words===

"I am an all-around, [[Chris and Anger|emotionally]] [[Chris's Room|mature]], [[Gun Comic|good natured]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning autistic]], heterosexual [[tomgirl]] artist. I feel better being treated as a person than some sort of [[Chris|freak]] or something. [[Father Call|I am a good listener]], and sometimes I have to take my time thinking about a topic or issue. I am the [[Things Chris has ripped off|Original Creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]], and the city of Cwcville, VA. I like making those close to me emotionally happy. Even though, I have been feeling seriously depressed, lonely and having constant heartaches.

I am looking for a woman to be my friend/Sweetheart/Future Wife from the ground up. She should be true and honest in personality, all-around, compassionate, understanding, patient, and [[Chris and Money|financially stable]] [[Chris and Reality|(I get along fair and surviving)]]..

[[Women's Rights|ALL Women interested in me MUST be willing to meet in person/in real life IMMEDIATELY]]; I have had bad online experiences numerously from a lot of fake people. Finding me in Person at my hangout is the best bet; I usually am Very cautious about any and all messages I receive online and I screen my phone calls. AND getting my attention must be direct with a pleasant greeting and introduction.

Please forgive me if I respond coldly or timidly at first, I am very shy, and I am paranoid of most people and the kind of bad person they may be."

'''Sign:''' Pisces

'''Political views:''' Middle of the Road

'''College:''' Piedmont Virginia Community College, Charlottesville, VA

'''For fun:''' "Creating artwork, reflecting/thinking, video games, [[Chris and English|care taking]] [[Barb|my mom]] and our two beagle pups."

'''Pets:''' I have Cats, Dogs

'''Favorite hot spots:''' "I can be found either pondering over tea or coffee at McDonalds, or Burger King, in Ruckersville, or walking once around the nearby Wal-Mart."

'''Favorite things:''' "Sonichu and Rosechu, Mary Poppins (movie), color: blue, most music (jazz, POP and easy listening are cool); I like Britney Spears and Katy Perry (top two favorite artists)."

===More about him===

====Him====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 5'10" (177cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Obesity|About average]]
 '''Eyes:''' Blue
 '''Hair:''' Light brown

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' Social Drinker
 '''Occupation:''' I'll tell you later
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|I'll tell]] [[lie|you later]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' Native American, White / Caucasian
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Part Cherokee, British, French and English."
 '''Faith:''' Christian / Other
 ''[Under this section, Chris put the following sentence]'': "Methodist at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church."
 '''Languages:''' English, Spanish
 '''Education:''' Bachelors degree

====What he is looking for====

Appearance
 '''Height:''' 4'10" (147cms) to 6'0" (182cms)
 '''Body type:''' [[Chris and Hypocrisy|Slender, About average, Athletic and toned, Full-figured]]
 '''Eyes:''' No preference
 '''Hair:''' No preference

Lifestyle
 '''Smoke:''' No Way
 '''Drink:''' No preference
 '''Occupation:''' No preference
 '''Income:''' [[Chris and Money|$50,001 to $75,000, $75,001 to $100,000, $100,001 to $150,000, $150,001+]]
 '''Relationship:''' Never Married
 '''Have kids:''' No
 '''Wants kids:''' Definitely, Someday

Background / Values
 '''Ethnicity:''' [[Niggos|No preference]]
 '''Faith:''' No preference
 '''Languages:''' English
 '''Education:''' No preference

==See also==
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]]
*[[Dating profiles]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?lid=1000005&TP=U&Handle=SonichuCWC&uid=p6pWeNyd69Zt4vDF/badgQ== Chris's page (404'd as of Jun 2014)]
* [http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx/?handle=cwcvilleguardian&tp=prtbk Chris's new page]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Love Quest]]
[[Category:Websites]]