CWCki - User contributions [en]

A Girl Who Brought Down the World

2010-06-15T15:40:40Z

John.stalvern:

'''''A Girl Who Brought Down the World''''' is a novelette written by [[vivitheg]] which imagines a scenario that [[trolls]] have imagined for some time - what if [[Chris]] ruled the world?

The novelette also serves as an allegorical moral tale for Chris, with hopes Chris would see some parallel to his own life and do something to correct it.

A copy was sent to Chris. His response was "I like the cover"<ref>[[Mumble 2]]</ref> and expressed concerns that he was being charged for it.

{{Email|I just received a copy of your book, "A Girl who Brought Down the World", from createspace.com in the mail. I'm writing this e-mail to inquire of who's paying for the book? Because the Billing Address had MY address in it in the enclosed receipt. Look, I appreciate the gesture, but I wish for the issue to be straightened out from the author who most likely did the dirty work of sending it and the bill my way.

Again, who is paying for this book? Please reply.

Merry Christmas,
Christian W. Chandler.}}

According to a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|recent video]], Chris had said that his pastor had disapproved of the book, which makes one wonder - did Chris actually read the book, or did he just pass the book to someone else for their opinion and go from there?

== Plot Summary==

===Chapter 1: Neighbors===

A young girl named Kid has just moved to a new city with her parents, Miles and Mimi, and her older sister, Vivian. Vivian quickly gets bored of sitting around the house and brings Kid with her to meet their new next-door neighbor: a large, smelly man named [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christopher Winnfield Vega]].

Christopher, who goes by “Chris”, goes into great detail explaining to Vivian and Kid how he once lost his [[gal-pal]], [[Megan|Melanie]]. Getting creeped out by Chris's story of a duel won and a beloved lost, Vivian tells Kid that Chris is “Santa Claus’s evil brother”, and the two of them flee his house.

After hearing about how rudely Vivian treated Chris, Mimi invites him over for dinner the next evening as a way of patching things up. Chris finds Mimi attractive but shudders when he learns that her racial identity is [[Niggos|part-African]]. He nevertheless graciously accepts her dinner invitation.

===Chapter 2: Memories===

Vivian is desperate to learn more about Chris, so she brings Kid with her to Waynesworth Enterprises to find and question Melanie, who works there. Soon after arriving at Waynesworth, Vivian admits to Kid that Chris isn’t really “Santa Claus's evil brother”… just a terrible person.

Once Vivian and Kid locate Melanie, who goes by “Mel”, they’re told all about how she has a restraining order against Chris because of his constant sexual harassment in the past. Mel insists on telling the girls’ parents about Chris, and she heads home with the two of them.

As the girls return, Chris notices from his bedroom window that Mel is with them, and he assumes that Vivian and Kid are trying to help him reunite with her. He labors to make himself look presentable and heads next door only to be told by Mimi that their dinner plans are off.

===Chapter 3: Cops===

Kid emerges from her room to find the house in ruins. Turning on the news, she learns that her family, Mel, Chris, and [[Jerkop|the police]] are all involved in one big high-speed chase. Chris can't be stopped because a new law states that harming him in any way may result in life imprisonment.

As the family’s car runs out of gas, Miles is forced to pull over into a gas station. Chris pulls over in turn and heads after Mel on foot. Soon, Chris has lowered his pants around his ankles only to trip over them, and the police have rescued Mel and Kid's family for the time being.

While everyone is waiting around at the police station, Chris’s half-brother, [[Cole Smithey|Jones Brimley]], shows up and offers to let them all stay at his place, where they should be safe from Chris. Meanwhile, back at the gas station, Chris finally picks himself up and resumes his [[love quest]] for Mel.

===Chapter 4: Asylum===

At his mansion, Jones explains to Mel and Kid’s family that living with his failure of a half-brother had inspired him to move out in search of success. That night, Chris scales the mansion's electric fence and is stopped only by the sight of Jones’s female bodyguard stripping naked.

Soon afterward, the Republican Party announces that Chris will be their next presidential candidate. One year later, Chris is elected President in a landslide victory, just as feared. He immediately announces that he will put an end to terrorism, the Democratic Party, and gay rights.

Chris adds that [[Sonichu (character)|Rabbichoso]], an "original" fictional character of his creation, will be serving as his VP. His first official act as President is to offer cash rewards for Mel’s capture and the murder of Kid’s family. Vivian declares that her family must somehow kill Chris before he can kill them.

===Chapter 5: Staff===

Chris goes on air to name his Cabinet. [[Punchy|Fighting Rabbichoso]] will be his Secretary of State, [[Wild|Grass Rabbichoso]] his Secretary of Agriculture, [[Angelica|Holy Bunnichoso]] his Secretary of the Interior, and [[Bubbles|Water Bunnichoso]] his Secretary of Health. [[Magi-Chan|Psychic Rabbichoso]] will be his Secretary of Dating.

Chris next announces that he's still seeking an 18-27 year-old female to marry. A young woman who goes by “[[Cogsdev|cogs]]” fills out Chris’s online application as a joke. An hour later, two Secret Service agents appear at her doorstep, knock her out, and drag her back to Chris’s quarters.

Chris isn't immediately sure that cogs is his [[sweetheart]], but after measuring her weight and breasts, testing her driving ability, and smelling her hair, he weds her. When it comes time to consummate the marriage, cogs reveals that she cannot bear children, and Chris has her executed.

===Chapter 6: Patriots===

Mel, apparently long pregnant with Jones’s baby, is about to go into labor. Everyone rides along to the hospital together before splitting up: Mel and Jones into the hospital, Mimi and Kid to a grocery store, and Miles to a nearby sporting goods store. Vivian opts to stays with the car.

While checking out, Mimi is attacked by her cashier, who warns the whole store that the “terrorists” have been found. Meanwhile, Miles is being chased by a mob after stealing some golf clubs. A former friend of Chris’s named [[Anna McLerran|Shana]] appears and rescues everyone just in time.

Back at the White House, Chris is busy consulting with the members of his Cabinet. Before long, Rabbichoso is having loud “sex” with his wife, [[Rosechu|Bunnichoso]]. When Secret Service agents begin to voice their concern, Chris fires them and barricades himself in the basement with a janitor.

===Chapter 7: Faults===

At the hospital, Mel tells Jones that she’s afraid that Chris is going to capture her and her unborn child. Jones sets out alone in desperation only to be captured himself. After explaining her awkward history with Chris to Kid’s family, Shana rescues Mel and her newborn son, Matt.

Soon afterward, Jones awakens on a plane and has a video confrontation with Chris. Meanwhile, Rabbichoso goes on air to dismiss Congress, declaring a “time of crisis”. As America’s supreme dictator, Chris demands that every city show its love for Rabbichoso or face annihilation.

Police then surround Shana's home, but Shana pleads with one of the officers, and he agrees to let everyone escape. Fearing assassination, Chris nukes the White House with himself still inside. [[DJ Jamsta|Black Rabbichoso]], Secretary of Music, then spreads disinformation about this “attack”.

===Chapter 8: Education===

A 12 year-old boy named Cameron enters his first dating education class. His teacher, a loud man named [[Billy Mays|Mr. Mays]], plays a video tape in which Psychic Rabbichoso tells children how to stay straight and get dates. Cameron zones out, imagining Chris ranting about minorities.

Once the video ends, Cameron takes a test on dating dos and don’ts. When he admits to having had one or two gay thoughts, Secret Service agents show up to knock him out and drag him away. Meanwhile, his town puts on its state-mandated Rabbichoso parade, floats and all.

Cameron wakes up in a holding cell with some other boys and girls his age. Psychic Rabbichoso informs the children that they are about to be “un-gayed”. Sent to separate, slowly-flooding chambers in boy-girl pairs to have sex, each couple will drown unless each boy [[semen|cums]] into a [[fapcup|cup]].

===Chapter 9: Magic===

Chris goes on air to remind America that most of the “terrorists” are still at large. [[Wes Iseli|An unnamed magician]] returns to his home and is confronted by a police officer who accuses him of aiding these fugitives. The magician escapes by teleporting himself to the home of his former love, [[Sarah Hammer|Sally]].

Despite her hurt feelings, Sally agrees to shelter the magician. That night, she turns on her TV to find Chris, who happens to be a former friend of hers, meeting with his Cabinet about women’s role in society. She remembers how grateful she was when [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain witch]] rid her of him.

The next morning, Sally finds that Chris is still broadcasting from his "office", and that the magician has just teleported himself there to battle him. In his own mind, Chris gains the advantage with the help of his Cabinet and prepares to finish the magician off with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hex-me-ha-me-ha]].

===Chapter 10: Crossroads===

The magician begins ridiculing Chris for imagining himself to be so much more powerful than he is. Abruptly, the janitor withdraws a pistol and shoots the magician. Chris moves to televise this victory, but before he can, the magician teleports himself to Sally’s house as he lies dying.

Meanwhile, Shana, Melanie, and Kid’s family are driving to DC. An unfamiliar woman starts following them, and when they stop the car to get gas, she pulls into the gas station. Kid’s family fears the worst until the woman identifies herself as Sally and explains that she wants to help.

Sally presents the group with some credit cards from her work and a map of the White House basement that the magician had given to her just before he died. She then leaves, declining to join the group on their journey. Later, she travels alone into a forest to visit the magician’s grave.

===Chapter 11: Outside===

Chris goes on air to explain to men across America how to be better fathers. Fighting Rabbichoso then informs Chris that he should spend some time improving foreign relations. When the Chinese president tells Chris that Taiwan pirates video games, he nukes that whole country.

Soon afterward, Chris nukes both South Korea for sympathizing with Taiwan and Poland for stealing jobs from the UK. Upset that no one has yet commended him, he calls the Iraqi president to learn what he can do to assist ''his'' country. As requested, he bombs 1/5 of the entire world.

All surviving countries are terrified, aware that America is the only nation to still possess nuclear weapons. When the president of Brazil tells Chris not to contact his country, Chris fires another nuke. However, [[Bill The Scientist|he spills some soda]] onto the missile console, and the nuke hits Canada.

===Chapter 12: Brimley===

Chris goes into the basement to check on his half-brother, Jones. They have a heated conversation about relationships, and Jones points out how inept Chris is at understanding them. Chris, being the selfish person he is, believes that everything should be handed to him on a silver platter.

Chris then goes on a rant about how the [[Homos|homos]] keep tempting him to join their side. This leaves Chris [[Stress|stressed]] and he returns to the main room to sleep. He gets woken up by the janitor, who reminds him he must do his daily broadcast, even though it's 2 AM. He announces the addition of Black Rabbichoso to his Cabinet, as the new Secretary of Defense.

Shana and Vivian talk in the car about their plot to kill Chris, while looking over the details about how to enter the underground basement.

===Chapter 13: Crushed===

Kid notices that they need gas, so they pull into the next gas station. The owner recognises Melanie and gets his shotgun. Vivian throws a pocket knife into his arm but he manages to shoot her in the leg. Being in no condition to travel, she tells the rest to leave her behind. She is taken to the hospital but requires a wheelchair.

The Secret Service is there to pick her up. They fly Vivian to Chris's basement, where he greets her after taking a shower. Vivian talks to Jones in the basement while Chris announces the capture of one of the Terrorist Four. Chris declares Vivian as his back-up girlfriend and wheels her off into another part of the basement. He coats her in white paint as God intended him to have a [[Niggos|white girlfriend]], and goes back upstairs.

Chris later comes down for their date, and Vivian hides a knife to kill him with when the time is right. They dine on burgers from Burger Palace. After the janitor leaves the room, she wheels over to Chris and takes out the knife. Chris declares he can cut his own burger and raises his arms in surprise. The stench overpowers Vivian and she's knocked out.

===Chapter 14: Hero===

Chris phones his old school friend, [[Joshua Martinez|Phillip Gonzalo]], for advice with the ladies. After the conversation is over, Phillip falls into an uneasy dream. The dream is about the time he first met Chris, and they play video games. The dream changes to Chris seeing him kissing his Girlfriend, then to an E-mail he sent Chris informing him of a date he set up. This wakes him up suddenly and he wonders why Chris is still alive.

Vivian wakes up in a bed, nude, with her clothes neatly folded on a cabinet. Chris, who had been watching her, notices that she's conscious and walks in with his shirt off. He tries to kiss her and she slaps him. He phones Phillip again for advice, and he begs Chris to stop after he finds out she's under age.

Chris forces himself upon Vivian, who fights against him. In the struggle, she pulls one of his eyes clean out. Chris runs shrieking out the room. Rabbichoso then goes on air announcing Chris is on a short vacation. He then fires Psychic Rabbichoso for failing to keep everyone straight, and offers the role of President to whomever can deliver the rest of the three remaining terrorists along with Melanie and Shana.

===Chapter 15: Alamo===

Kid, upset by the capture of Vivian, is left bent upon revenge against Chris. The engine dies just as several cars begin following them. They gather weapons and jump out the car. A fight breaks out between them and a gang after the reward. After all but the leader, Bon, have been killed, she calls for backup. Several people come with swords, led by Clyde.

After another fight, Bon and Miles have a one-on-one duel for Mimi, who is taken hostage. Bon pulls a gun, but trips and Miles picks the gun up. He shoots her in the face. Melanie kills Clyde with a throwing knife to the heart. They realise that Kid and Matt are missing, taken hostage by the two remaining gang members.

The gang offers a trade -- Kid and Matt for Miles and Mimi, as their bounty is higher. They agree, but as they're being tied up, Miles attacks and takes one down. Mimi runs to safety but Miles is killed in the process. The remaining member is brutally killed by Shana. Chris informs Vivian her father is dead, saying that he should be more careful next time.

===Chapter 16: Witch===

Chris makes an announcement of the death of Miles, then parades his two captives on TV. An old woman watches this broadcast. In the car, they realize they're running low on supplies and the nearest town is 800 miles away. They spot an old hut nearby and investigate. Inside they find a witch named [[Mary Lee Walsh|Eva G. Warren]] who gave the unnamed magician his powers.

She reveals that before she gained her powers, used to be a principal of the school Chris attended and stopped him [[Love Quest|soliciting sex]] from other students. Suddenly she vanishes, and her voice informs them she has passed on. Kid finds some gum in the pocket of her clothes, which had fallen to the ground, and chews it.

Chris looks in the mirror and [[Honest Content|is disgusted by what he sees]]. After a brief talk to Jones, he decided that the cops that took her away must die.

===Chapter 17: Reflection===

Chris makes an announcement that every cop must die. An ex-officer named Jim, who let Shana go when police surrounded her house, receives a call from an officer asking for assistance. He goes to the station to help out. While moving his car to find civilians to evacuate, he sees several houses on fire. He returns to find the station ablaze too.

Jim, a fellow officer, and a hundred civilians take shelter in a Gym. A few nights later, they see a dozen thugs armed with chainsaws advancing. Mr. Mays finds his classroom empty. The principal and Mays set off to find the children, and discover they've been taken to a factory. Mays cuts through a fence and tasers several Secret Service agents blocking their way. More agents spot them, and Mays shoots them with his EZGun. They rescue the children.

Sally goes to the grave of Eva, who apparently committed suicide aged thirty-four. She obtains a key from the grave. Back in the Gym, the thugs are breaking in, after their supplies and killing the other officer. Jim shoots several dead but the remaining manage to encircle him. The civilians then start attacking the thugs, killing them with their chainsaws. On the radio, Chris announces his plans to dominate the globe.

===Chapter 18: Doctrine===

Chris decides to spread his view of Christianity, despite Rabbichoso and Holy Rabbichoso's protests. As he spreads his view, Jones, Melanie, Vivian and her family discuss how wrong Chris's views are, in utter disbelief that people still accept this. They also provide commentary towards his views on [[homosexuality]] and the [[Chris and religion|seven deadly sins]], with Jones telling more about Chris's past.

As Mimi shuts off the radio, Kid mentions that she's glad she had great parents and knows that there needs to be good people in the world and knows the bad ones can change... except Chris.

===Chapter 19: Escape===

Vivian and Jones still remain inside Chris's basement, unable to escape, thinking that the others are unable to come and rescue them. Vivian gets an idea on how to escape (which she admittedly hates), attempting to seduce Chris by deciding to have him have a threesome with herself and Jones. Chris is disgusted by this, but when Vivian decides to go back to lesbianism, Chris changes his mind.

When Vivian's bad leg gives out, Jones goes to get a wheelchair to get Vivian out, leaving her alone with Chris. Chris attempts to get it on with Vivian alone, but she wants another man. Chris attempts to get the janitor in on this, but he declines. The mentioning of Melanie gives Vivian hope that her family's still alive. She asks why Chris wants to lose his virginity, and he tells her that it would make him a man. Vivian, in disgust, says that losing his virginity is more than that, but Chris doesn't listen.

When Jones returns, Chris attempts to initiate the threesome, only to have the two attempt to escape. The janitor returns and attempts to kill Vivian, only for Jones to take the bullet. He attempts to fire again, only to learn he's out. Vivian makes her escape and discovers that, outside, its a wasteland and that her father's body has been defiled. Weakened by the pollution and horror, Vivian passes out.

The janitor checks on Chris and attempts to see about his wounds, but Chris blows him off, taking some pills to cure his headache and goes off to make a message. In the bedroom, Jones dies of his wounds.

===Chapter 20: Edge===

Chris [[crash into slumber|crashes into slumber]] after failing to lose his virginity, but comes to the next day. Chris continues to demand that they find Melanie and brushes off Mimi and Kid as terrorists, thinking that they're too busy shopping.

Meanwhile, Kid has a nightmare about Chris and Rabbichoso and wakes up crying. When the group attempt to drive through a dust storm, it destroys their car's engine. The five split up into the dust storm, Mimi, Matt and Melanie going one way and Kid and Shana going another. Mimi, Matt and Melanie discover a child in a school, who accept them. The quickly rally behind the three when they mention that they were going to end Chris's reign, but they are forced to leave them to protect them

Shana and Kid find themselves lost, only to end up in an abandoned house. Kid wants to stay and wait, but Shana wants to keep going, only to be affected by the dust storm, which kills her.

===Chapter 21: Genes===

Kid uses a compass to leave into the storm, reuniting with the others. After paying their respects to Shana, the four continue on. Melanie thinks it's hopeless to continue on, but Kid wants to keep pushing on, for everyone's sake.

They find a hut, with a person, Chris's half-sister Karen Vega, inside. There, she tells them that she designed the suits allowing others to enter the area, then tells her story of how she was hated by Chris for being geeky, but, when he became president, she was forced to design suits for radiation protection. She reveals that three special suits were designed, but they took two - a child-sized suit was left behind. She gives it to Kid, but dismisses the notion of her wanting to kill Chris.

When Kid marches out alone into the void, Karen goes to stop her, only to be struck down by the dust. With one last goodbye, Kid walks back into the void to kill Chris.

===Chapter 22: Revenge===

Kid continues her trek, seeing the devastation left behind by Chris's actions. As she does, she ends up discovering the building holding Chris's basement... then discovers Vivian and Miles's bodies. She hallucinates seeing Vivian and Miles, both of them trying to deter her from her mission. She ends up passing out and waking up sometime later.

Inside, Chris asks if he's a good president. Rabbichoso says he is, but Thomas tells him that humanity must be purged. Chris tells Thomas that there's a woman out there for him, but Thomas continues to tell him that he will be killed and that if humanity isn't purged, he will die. The janitor finds Chris talking to pieces of paper. The janitor wants to send Chris to a psychiatrist, but Chris turns him down and decides to take a nap.

In a hallway, Kid ends up discovering a few drawings he did including [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Chris finger-banging Melanie]] and a [[Saddest Heart in the World|a poem]] before continuing on.

===Chapter 23: Everything===

Kid finally makes it to Chris's room and prepares to kill him, only to be stopped by the janitor. The janitor reveals himself to be [[troll|Hendrix]], who used Chris to control the US. He reveals that he used Chris to run America to the ground, then revealed that he worked for China.

He goes on to explain that he was part of a group that helped Bush win the 2008 elections and that they were the ones who got Obama into office. With America weak, they chose Chris to be the next president, using the promise of getting Melanie to get him to join. Kid is stunned by these revelations, Hendrix goes to kill her, only to be saved by Chris.

Chris, in his hallucinated state, is told by Rabbichoso that he has no future, that there's no hope for him and goes to leave. Chris panics and tries to run after him, only to hit a self-destruct device. Kid tries to kill Chris, but decides to let the explosion kill him. She escapes and reunites with everyone.

===Chapter 24: Reset===

Kid writes in her diary, as everyone attempts to try to live in a world after Chris. Meanwhile, a group of Chinese attempt to destroy America only to have themselves wiped out...

...and God, in stitches over the massive chain reaction the creation of Chris (an idea he got whilst being drunk) have caused, decides to reset the world.

In Nevada, cogs takes a breath of fresh air, then goes back inside to play video games.

In Shana's house, Jim proposes to Shana, who accepts.

In Washington DC, Karen becomes the first female president, hoping to end the line of deception her family was known for.

At the grave of Eva G. Warren, Sally and the magician mourn her passing.

Mr. Mays hits it big and quits teaching.

Cameron tells a girl how he feels about her and she invites him to her house. There Mr. Mays is on television. His odd commercial makes the two want to smoke.

Melanie attempts to hire Jones, but declines, only to invite her inside his house for coffee.

Kid admits that Vivian's probably the only person she can trust, but Vivian gets her to try to enjoy the rest of life and takes her on a tour of the city...

===Chapter 25: Christopher===

And we see Chris's new life.

Chris is born, and his parents think he's destined for great things.

At a park, years later, Chris and Jones are playing on the swings. Jones want Chris to push him for a change, but Chris complains that he might get hurt if he does, so he makes Jones do it.

Years later, Chris is attempting to pick up a girlfriend at the mall while Jones is trying to get them some clothes. He's disgusted by Chris's actions.

At Chris's graduation, Karen watches as Chris hesitates in getting his diploma.

Years later, Chris meets Shana in a grocery store. Shana tells Chris to leave, but Chris takes it as someone talking to him.

Outside Waynesworth Enterprises, Chris meets Melanie and befriends her. Sometime later, he tries to enter the Game Wars store, only to be stopped by police.

Years later, Chris sends a letter to Jones about their parents' passing, ranting about other stuff along the way.

Soon, he meets Vivian and Kid's family, acting the same way he did in the beginning. After that day, they never see each other again.

Years later, Vivian has married [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] and calls Kid, only for her to tell her to watch TV. On there, Chris has held an employee hostage inside a mall as the cops attempt to free his hostage and take him down.

Years later, he's locked up in an mental institution, incompetent to stand trial. After having a dream he thinks is from God, he leaps through a window to his death.

No one comes to his funeral.

== Characters ==

'''Christopher Winnifred Vega''' - Analogue to Christian Weston Chandler and main antagonist of the story. He becomes president through the machinations of a group of [[trolls|Chinese]] seeking to bring down the US. In the original timeline, Chris is killed in the destruction of his bunker. In the reverted timeframe, he throws himself out of a window thanks to a dream.

'''Kid''' - The main protagonist of the story. Her life is changed throughout the story as she's put on the run by Chris. In the end, she attempts to kill Chris, but allows him to die by his own stupidity. She is presumed killed in the nuclear fallout in the original time frame. In the reverted time frame, she lives a pretty normal life.

'''Vivian''' - Analogue to Vivian Gee and Kid's older sister. Goes on the run, then attempts to kill Chris. She is killed by the radiation fallout around Washington. In the reverted time frame, she ends up marrying a gang member named Clyde.

'''Miles and Mimi''' - Vivian and Kid's parents. When they go to protect Melanie from Chris's wrath, they are considered terrorists and are hunted down. Miles is killed protecting his family and Mimi is killed in the nuclear assault. In the reverted time line, their meeting with Chris goes sour and they never see him again.

'''Melanie''' - Analogue to Megan Schroeder. She is the reason Chris ends up becoming president. She has a child with Jones named Matt. She is presumed killed in the final nuclear attack in the original time frame. In the reverted time line, she is able to get away from Chris and ends up befriending Jones.

'''Jones Brimley''' - Analogue to Cole Smithy and Chris's half-brother. He goes to great lengths to protect Kid's family and Melanie from Chris's attacks. He is killed trying to protect Vivian from Chris. In the reverted time line, he's a popular writer and ends up befriending Melanie.

'''Karen Vega''' - Chris's half-sister. A genius who was forced to work for Chris after his election. She ends up giving Kid a suit that allowed her to enter Washington. She is killed by the radiation dust around the city. In the reverted time frame, she becomes President.

'''Shana''' - Analogue to Ann McLerran. She joins Kid's family after rescuing Melanie and Matt. She is killed by the radioactive dust. In the reverted time frame, she is proposed by Jim

'''Jim''' - A police officer and possible analogue to [[Bagget]]. He attempts to arrest Shana, only to let her go. He joins in the rescue of a number of children. In the reverted time line, he proposes to Shana.

'''Clyde''' - Analogue to [[Clyde Cash]] and a gang leader. He takes Kid and Matt hostage and attempts to get Mimi and Miles instead. He is killed in the ensuing scuffle. In the reverted time frame, he marries Vivian.

'''Mr. Mays''' - Analogue to [[BILLY MAYS]]. He was one of the teachers for Chris's mandated dating education. He ends up leading the charge to save the children. In the reverted universe, he ditches teaching and becomes a spokesman.

'''Cameron''' - a student in one of Chris's date ed classes. He is taken away for reprogramming for thinking gay thoughts. In the reverted time frame, he admits his feelings to a girl, then ends up deciding to smoke, thanks to one of Mr. Mays's commercials.

'''"cogs"''' - Analogue to cogsdev. Ends up filling out a form for kicks, only to be dragged in to be another one of Chris's wives-to-be. When she reveals she can't bear children, she's killed. In the reverted time frame, she lives a pretty normal life.

'''Rabbichosos''' - Analogue to Sonichu, Rosechu and the Chaotic Combo. Comprised of [[Sonichu|Rabbichoso]], [[Rosechu|Bunnichoso]], [[Wild|Grass Rabbichoso]], [[Angelica|Holy Bunnichoso]], [[Bubbles|Water Bunnichoso]], [[Punchy|Fighting Rabbichoso]], [[Magi-chan|Psychic Rabbichoso]] and [[Blake|Thomas]], they make up Chris's Cabinet.

'''Matt''' - Jones and Melanie's baby son. Named by Kid. Does not exist in the reverted timeline.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==The original text==

* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-CH1-5-102863247 Chapters 1 - 5]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-CH6-10-103157555 Chapters 6 - 10]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-11-14-103719474 Chapters 11 - 14]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-15-19-104009914 Chapters 15 - 19]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-20-24-104743076 Chapters 20 - 24]
* [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-25-END-104952905 Chapter 25 (Final)]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Girl Who Brought Down the World}}
[[Category:Trolling]]

Mailbag 21

2010-05-22T05:23:52Z

John.stalvern:

__NOTOC__'''Mailbag 21''' was uploaded in the late hours of 20 [[December 2009]]. Oddly, [[Chris]] chose to start answering the messages in it less than 30 minutes later, just 13 minutes past midnight, 21 December 2009. Why he chose to answer the questions in this mailbag first, as opposed to [[Mailbag 20]], is unknown.

==Answered==
===Home economics===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Margaret Mead|Margaret Mead]] (margaretmead@fordham.edu)

Hello! I've been reading and following [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] with great interest for several years. I am a cultural anthropologist and college professor. My field of study focuses on American culture, society and values, those sort of things. If you could please take the time to answer a few of my questions I and my future students would be most appreciative. My questions all concern Sonichu and [[Rosechu]], their family, and their living situation:

1. Are Sonichu and Rosechu living in poverty? They seem to occupy a rather small house for a family of five, and that house is provided by the [[CWCville]] government. I understand Sonichu is paid for guarding the city, but you also said he has to mow lawns to make ends meet. Yet in your Christmas special, they seem to be living beyond their means, buying the latest video games for very young children who wouldn't really appreciate such things. What is the [[Sonichus]]' approximate income?

2. What are Sonichu and Rosechu's educational backgrounds? You show most of the other Sonichus and [[Rosechus]] attending University courses (or high school, as the case may be), but Sonichu and Rosechu seem to have rushed into marriage shortly after they met each other. Most couples -- even ones in stable, long-term relationships -- would delay marriage until after college graduation. Did Sonichu and Rosechu finish (or even attend) high school? Do they have college degrees, or any college education under their belts? If the checks for saving the city stop coming in after [[Slaweel Ryam]] is defeated, how will Sonichu and Rosechu provide for their three children?

3. Did Rosechu plan her pregnancies, or were the three children "accidents"? Many women choose to delay pregnancy until their late 20s or early 30s, when one is usually finished with college and has started a professional career. It's much easier to start a family when one is more established in life. It's also unusual for people in their late teens or very early 20s to have three children, and women in such situations have very stressful and financially precarious lives. Rosechu appears to have hired [[Heather Iglesias|a nanny]] to remedy this. Does Rosechu receive checks from the government to pay for such a service as well?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to answer my questions!

Sincerely,

Margaret Mead, Ph.D, Fordham University}}

{{EmailReply|Sonichu and Rosechu do not live in poverty. Their house is two stories with an attic; the lower story is underground. I never said that he had to make ends meet; he gets paid very well. To cover their essentials and costs for their help in the city, it comes down to an average of $3,500 a month.

Education is optional for the [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]]. After learning basic Home-Ec from [[Kel]], Rosechu took [[Women's Rights|2 years of Home Ec from Cwcville University]]; Sonichu took the classes with her, and the two took hand-writing, [[English]] and such courses together within a total of 4 years time. This all happened before marriage. Sonichu and Rosechu will continue to receive payments, because there are more evil aside from Slaweel that I have yet to draw in the pages. Plus, Sonichu does volunteer work to help rescue citizens from something as basic as a cat up a tree to rescuing captives from burglars and thieves to even rescuing a majority of victims in a large building fire.

The children were planned; the three eggs came out and they were hatched in order as I had described from oldest to youngest; Cera, Christine and Robbie. [[Heather Iglesias|Heather]] gets paid from the monthly checks the Sonichu family receives. But in emergency times, she will volunteer the time and not ask for payment.

Your points for your inquiries are quite valid and well-thought. I praise you for your thoughts and input.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Family guy is rated TV:MA===
{{Email|From: wangchungxoxo@aol.com
I read your recent issue 11, and on page 2, Christine, who is supposed to be a baby, says, "I am the Virgin Mary. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it." I understand this joke is directly lifted from [[Family Guy]], but that's kind of sick, since the joke implies that she is not really a virgin, and Christine is a baby. What did you mean by this joke? Are you implying that it should be okay to have sex with babies, or did you simply not get the joke and just thought it would be funny because it was from Family Guy?}}
{{EmailReply|It was only a simple reference; No such [[Hanky-panky|baby-sex]] is implied. With the viewer supervision of Sonichu and/or Rosechu, the children were permitted to watch most Family Guy episodes. Christine remembered that line and said it only for fun in her practice for the Christmas Play.

I deplore sex with minors in all forms and matters.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:13, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris has something in common with Billy Joel===
{{Email|From: Bo Mann <boman2021@yahoo.com>
I notice you like playing the Fisher Price game [[Guitar Hero]], but can you play any real musical instruments? }}
{{EmailReply|I believe you are Referring to Activision's Game of Guitar Hero; you were mistaken with the linking of Fisher Price to the Music Games that are Rated "T" for "Teen". I can play a real [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|Harmonica]].}}

===Why no Tails?===
{{Email|From: Daniel Silva <dsilva72794@gmail.com>
Hey Chris! I like Sonichu! It's on my top ten favorite Sonic-related fanworks (#5, specifically), though I think you should mention [[copyrights]]. Like "[[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and related characters are copyright of Sega". I've seen what happens to people who forgot to put stuff like that. I defintely don't think you deserve that.

Also, I've noticed you've made characters based on Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, Silver, and Shadow, but you have never made a character based off Tails. Why? I know some people like to joke that he's gay for Sonic, but I've never found anyone who seriously believed that (except for slash fiction writers, but that's beside the point). What do you have against him? And why did you make [[Simonchu]] a girl? Evang-y one of my favorite [[DeviantArt]]ists! I don't think he likes that.

Peace out.

-Daionus the 23rd}}
{{EmailReply|I just did not feel need for a Tails-like Character in the stories. I disagree with all the rumors against Tails; if you read the "Sonic the Hedgehog" Comic Book Series from Archie Comics, Tails gets a Girlfriend. I did not feel the need of another Male character at the time, plus pairing Simonla with [[Wild]] as a couple; that GIVES multiple meanings to the phrase "Opposites Attract." Plus, Evang-y and I have come into an agreement on that in previous discussions.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:13, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Axe is working for Chris===
{{Email|From: George Pliskin <georgepliskin8@gmail.com>
Chris I once worked for the company that does the "[[AXE]] Body Spray" marketing. And take it from me that the "getting the girls attention" commercials was just a gimmick. My wife says that the smell stings her nose, so I chose not to buy it or support the company for that matter. What I'm trying to say is that you should not believe everything the companies say and that the labels are meant to be something that can entertain the person who buys it.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I do not judge you for your decision, and I feel for your wife, because some women may have opposite reactions to the product than advertised. I don't care, I like the product, I feel it is working for me, so I continue my use and support of it.}}

===Chris's favorite curse word is an "F" followed by 3 asterisks===
{{Email|From: slashfire99@aol.com
I have 10 questions for you, which are adopted from the famous French television host Bernard Pivot.

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

4. What turns you off?

5. What is your favorite curse word?

6. What sound or noise do you love?

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9. What profession would you not like to do?

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?}}
{{EmailReply|1) Apple. 2) [[Naive]]. 3) Women, inner peace, some action, and other things. 4) Mislabelings; being called "[[gay]]" or even associated with "[[aspergers]]", References to such, being bullied or picked on, etc. 5) F***. 6) Pleasant Laughter. 7) Nails on a chalkboard. 8) Something in an Office. 9) Lawyer. 10) Welcome.}}

===In which Chris receives a letter from the son of God===
[[File:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|Jesus's likely reaction.]]
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Jesus Christ|Jesus Christ]] <rhyperiorsuperior@gmail.com>
Dear Chris,

1. If you were a pokemon, what kind do you believe you would be?

2. Are you aware of Fred Phelps? If so, what is your opinion on him? I am also curious on your opinion on Australian priest Fred Nile.

Awaiting your response,

Phil.}}
{{EmailReply|1) Scyther; I feel like I am quick-decisive, I can [[CWC_Fighter|move like a ninja]], and my mind is sharp. 2) Some of Phelps' ideals are extreme, yet I agree with him some. I agree fully with Nile's views.}}

===Chris is not a sex offender... yet===
{{Email|From: Gary Finch <garyfinch@live.com>

Hey-o again, CWC. Thanks for answering my last letter. While I absolutely LOVE sonichu I have to say I find an answer in [[Mailbag 19]] deplorable. I have a girlfriend who was sexually assaulted by a guy who she used to be good friends with. He became obsessed with her and eventually she got weirded out by it, as any normal human being would, and eventually stopped talking to him. That wasn't enough for him so he grabbed her from behind and stuck his hands up her shirt and felt her breasts. While a lot of adults appreciate sex it depends on WHO is doing it. Megan was rightfully creeped out by you sick, violent, stalkerish drawing. Other than that the new Sonichu is great!

Gary}}
{{EmailReply|For your information, I have never stuck my hands up [[Megan]]'s shirt. Second, I agree with your opinions on that topic.}}

===Chris refuses to testify under oath===
{{Email|From: cheapfoolsgold@aol.com

Do you wish to be cremated or buried when you die? If cremated, what do you want done with your ashes (some people prefer to have their ashes kept in an urn somewhere, while others prefer to have their ashes scattered somewhere)? Do you have any other final wishes? And what are the final wishes of your parents? Apologies for the morbid questions, but just curious.}}
{{EmailReply|I wish to be buried; I plea the 5th on the other questions.}}

===In which Chris continues to lie about his IQ===
{{Email|From: coby nguyen <cobybio@yahoo.com>
Dear Christian Weston Chandler,

You seem like a rather, interesting, person. I have skimmed through your mailbag and I have noticed you stated that you have gotten an IQ of 150. Now, I find that a little "Far Fetched" and I ask, where did you take your IQ test?

Oh and try using colored pencils instead of markers, I find them to turn out much better. Try to color in one direction too. Hey if you'd like, you can send me the pages you drew (without the speech bubbles) and I can edit them in Photoshop CS3, they will look much better, trust me. I need some practice anyways.

And it'd be kinda great if you'd proofread the story before adding them in, some things are really unnecessary.

I also have a few more questions, why are you in denial of being.. A little overweight? Someone tried to give you advice on women and you completely, being thick, turned it down. A lot of that e-mail made sense.

Also, why don't you invest in a gym? It'll give you a better look towards women, and a little closer to your "[[Love Quest]]".

-Coby}}
{{EmailReply|I took my IQ test at an institute in Chesterfield Co. Your opinions have been inputed are appreciated. I have no denial of weight; I have not refused input; I plan on investing on a gym membership.}}

===When you're 27, nobody really cares about your high school report cards===
{{Email|From: Bob Bobson <totallyfine1@gmail.com>
Chris, you're an adult. Why can't you get your report cards out for even a simple peek?

If you don't, you know that the trolls will just claim that you didn't really make it.

You've got to upload scans before they tarnish your name further! They're spreading their lies everywhere nothing will convince the masses but physical evidence since they are 100% convinced that you are a liar so your word is worthless to them!

If they corrupt the masses, the fanbase won't expand!}}
{{EmailReply|While I may not have access to the Report Cards, I DO KNOW that I have received Mostly "A"s and a few "B"s; I was on the [[Honor Roll]] throughout [[Providence Middle School|Providence Middle]] and [[Manchester High School]]s. Look it up in their records within [[Virginia]].}}

===In which Chris ruins a man's life===
{{Email|From: Christian W. Chandler <c.w.chandler@gmail.com>
Dear Mr. Chandler,

My name is Christian W. Chandler. I'm 38 years old with a wife and three children and live in San Fernando, CA. Recently I've been fired from work as I've been accused of unsavory Internet activities, as people have been confusing myself with you. I'm having a difficult time finding a new job because whenever people search my mind, they find things related to you and assume I'm you. When I've called to follow up on jobs I apply for, I'm told to not be such a "sick fuck" and to stop drawing cartoon porn.

Please, is there any way you can stop this madness? You're spoiling my good name and I need a job soon. My mortgage is past due and they're ready to repossess my house.

Thank you,
Christian W. Chandler }}
{{EmailReply|I am sorry for the mix-up, perhaps you should make it more clear of where you live, because I am from, and still live in, VIRGINIA, while you are in CALIFORNIA; when your employers look you up, MAKE SURE they look up the "Christian W. Chandler" of CALIFORNIA, NOT VIRGINIA.

Good Luck, and Merry Christmas.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 06:57, 21 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris's awesome rack===
{{Email|From: Nick Manchester <questil@live.com>
Dear Chris,

I am doing my best to stay STRAIGHT. In fact, I can't get a boner unless I see boobies. There's nothing that turns me on more than a heaving pair of BREASTS! Unfortunately, this is what is getting me in trouble.

One day I was on the internet and saw a picture of your chest (your face was blocked out). Overwhelmed by the sight of your tender and luscious bosom I felt my self getting hard... down there.

I tried to resist the urges and look away but your perky tits and rock hard nipples made it impossible and I "creamed my jeans".

Now I am very embarrassed at what I have done and I am afraid that I am a HOMO now. I LOVE BOOBIES, CHRIS! I DO NOT WANT TO BE A HOMO!

HELP

Sincerely,

Nick}}
{{EmailReply|Reprogram your mind a bit; Match BOOBIES with VAGINAS. If the boob-set does not have a vagina with it, then you should NOT be turned-on.}}

===Chris gets a call from The Doctor===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Colin Baker|Colin Baker]] ([[Wikipedia:Arc of Infinity|cmdrpaxil]]@hotmail.co.uk)

Hello, Christian!
I'm just a [[Wikipedia:The Stranger (video series)|stranger]] from England who is a longtime fan of your work.
It quite difficult to find a good [[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|sci-fi/adventure]] writer nowadays; you are one of the most notable.
Keep it up!

May I ask you a few questions? 
1. If you had the ability to [[Wikipedia:TARDIS|travel through time]]... to any place and time you desire... what would you do? 
2. If you worked with a [[Wikipedia:Peri Brown|beautiful and sexy woman]], but your work ethics forbid you to have any kinds of [[Wikipedia:Doctor_(Doctor_Who)#Romance|romantic relations]] with her... do you think you could stand this challenge? 
3. Do you believe in [[Wikipedia:Regeneration (Doctor Who)|reincarnation]]? 
4. Last but not least... I'm absolutely fascinated by your [[Wikipedia:Sixth_Doctor#Costume|clothing style]]. It's so out of the ordinary and unique, it truly manages to express the bohemian aesthetics of your creative individuality! But I'd like to know - did you make this bold fashion choice on your own, or was it inspired by any outside influence? 

Thanks in advance!
I hope the "Sonichu" saga will continue for all eternity! :)

[[Wikipedia:Sixth Doctor|Colin "Curly" Baker]].

P.S.: Say hi to all your cute kitties for me!}}
{{EmailReply|1) A few years into the future. 2) I would face the challenge straightforward and with one moment at a time. 3) I believe in reincarnation. 4) More or less, the clothing style is of my own choice, with some influence from clothing shopping with my family in my lifetime.}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===In which Chris is faced with the truth and rejects it. Again.===
{{Email|From: Shane Smith <donfelder1887@gmail.com>
It's 18; I'm far from being a minor. I've seen porn. I see what they go through to do that stuff. And you saying that adults appreciate childish pictures of people fingerbanging their friends who happened to look like their imaginary sisters - drawn by a guy with the mindset of a 10-year-old who should be out in the job force but is merely driving this economy down by spending more disposable income - is plain bullshit. I know adults who aren't even bounded by a religion that disapprove of porn, especially when they direct the porn towards a wiki that appears to have been made in an anti-intellectual society (and gets on the point most of the time) and their 20-year-old friends who didn't even care about the artists. You, Chris, are irredeemable - you cannot be changed by any means of coercion or treatment. Your parents brought you into this mess and what do you do to pay them back? You fucking spend their disposable income on video games, kids' toys, and "hipster" stuff. I'm sorry to tell you the truth, Chris - you won't listen, as always, but I hope, if God willing, you suffer from something so bad, you'll regret your sloth ways and try to redeem yourself.

But you have already strained relations with everybody. From obvious impersonators to art critics, you made every one into a "[[troll]]". Well, guess what? You're going to be trolled unless if you die. You are, indeed, the mistake of God.}}
{{EmailReply|[[Chris and his Ego|You obviously have a lot of issues yourself, and you have my pity.]]}}

{{Mailbag}}