CWCki - User contributions [en]

User talk:Anaxis/The Lainchu Manifesto

2023-05-20T00:29:15Z

Jump: Created page with "I dug up this 10 year old account just to say that this is a pile of unreadable drivel that essentially amounts to "discord retards, lol" and everyone involved should be slowly killed with a cheese grater for the good of humanity. This page doesn't provide any insight whatsoever, has little to do with Chris, and feels like a rambling blame-game to assuage the authors own guilty conscience for talking to MKR and not having the good sense to immediately call them a worthle..."

I dug up this 10 year old account just to say that this is a pile of unreadable drivel that essentially amounts to "discord retards, lol" and everyone involved should be slowly killed with a cheese grater for the good of humanity. This page doesn't provide any insight whatsoever, has little to do with Chris, and feels like a rambling blame-game to assuage the authors own guilty conscience for talking to MKR and not having the good sense to immediately call them a worthless cunt.

I'm convinced I'm the only one to read this, or someone else would've pointed this out already.

CWCki:Policy

2010-07-14T20:31:45Z

Jump: /* Re:Examples of bad fanworks */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

* To avoid altercations like this, I would delete the index entirely. Simply put, there are other, far more suitable venues to put this, so you won't ever have to lapse into offended rage, or conversely, argue with trolls sticking their 'n***** noses' in your business. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Policy

2010-07-14T20:28:29Z

Jump: /* Harassment and NPOV */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
For discussion of CWCki policy and rules.

== Fan Works policy ==

right now there aren't really any rules regards what can and cannot go in the fan namespace. this is because i trusted users to judge for themselves whether or not their work belonged on the cwcki. so, let's get its purpose straight: fan works was meant to be PVCC's troll productions subforum, but public. it is not, however, a mirror site incase deviantart goes down. i feel that some individuals are forgetting that this is a wiki about CWC. now, it's quite tricky to say what can and cannot be hosted here. there are very few examples of things being uploaded that are completely unrelated to chris or sonichu. however, i will try my best to clarify what is appropriate.

'''Examples of good fanworks:'''
* A drawing of CWC saying DYKES DYKES CHINA being placed into the "CWC's Second Message" article
* An "artist's depiction" of something we have no pictures of but how it may have looked, i.e. Chris in the mall with his attraction sign, Chris using his "red string of fate", Chris's IRL confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh, [[Fapcup]], etc
* Comics what are actually funny

'''Examples of bad fanworks:'''
* A Sonichu comic depicting how you think Sonichu should have been
* Shitty recolored Sonichu and Rosechu "original characters"
* Your shitty fursona with a Sonichu tail shoved up its ass

to summarise, i think the distinction lies in whether or not it is actually related to ''chris''. there are lots of things related to sonichu, many of which include chris, but are actually disconnected from chris's antics themselves. i don't think these are appropriate for this wiki, and i see their numbers increasing(although i would like to refrain from naming names).

please discuss any changes or clarifications that you wish made, however i would like to implement these new rules by the end of the week. if a user feels their own uploads were, in light of these policy changes, in error then they can remove them now to save the jerkops the trouble of removing them later.

PEACE, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 21:59, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Just out of curiosity, could we see just what works are and are not on the chopping block? Just so we can see where we stand on this. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:54, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* i guess it might be useful to have a template for that --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:26, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

No. When the purge is complete you will know exactly where you stand. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:07, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Um, does one need any kind of admin status to delete files? I'm trying to figure this out. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:32, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

===Just who decides what's worthy?===
I can get behind the fact that you want this wiki to be about Chris, with his Sonichu works simply being an extension of him. What bothers me is how all this hate coming from users complaining about fan works they simply don't care for. If fan works are removed all together from here, I'd be alright with that. But when someone said "all Sonichu-related works need to go, except the ones I like!" it seems more like favoritism rather than objective policy. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 00:13, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Agreed, though I myself am hardly unbiased. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 00:28, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Yes, it's almost like this wiki is run by trolls who cae not for your feelings.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 01:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Just because we troll Chris doesn't mean we can't deal with each other in a civilized manner. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 02:42, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You don't troll shit, spud. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 02:44, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Can anything be done on this site without creating a shitstorm? This isn't some crusade against drawfags, and it shouldn't be painted as such by EITHER side. The site is about Chris, and the large amount of coverage on his creations is only because they made up such a large part of his life. The CWCki isn't about Sonichu, it's about Chris. Maybe some exceptions can be made, but for now fanworks not directly about Chris need to go. I myself enjoy many, especially Fear and Loathing in CWCville, but unless it is used to successfully troll Chris, it doesn't belong here.
Thing is, we need a peaceful resolution to this. Shit with faggot users and /cwc/ is bad enough, we don't need this to blow up. Maybe exceptional fanworks can be allowed; if not, they can be hosted on DA, or perhaps a site devoted to Sonichu. The artists and fans need to remember that this isn't an attack against their work, it's just policy. Users who want to be active in the execution of this policy need to not be dicks about it, and be responsible about it. It's not "deleting shit one doesn't like," it's removing unnecessary images and articles. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 02:58, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:Well, like I've said before, I will print out every page, bind it, and mail it to him when I'm finished. Which should be in two weeks or so. If my works are deleted before then, I'm not going to worry too much. In fact, it wouldn't bother me much at all if the entire fan section was removed and all fan art was deleted. I'm just a little put off from the vitriol a lot of the critics are spewing. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
::You think he's going to read it, that's cute. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:36, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Maybe, maybe not, what's the harm in trying? The most it'll cost me is a few bucks in postage. Well, that and the markers. Now I understand why he textwalls so much, those things dry out quick! :P --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 03:49, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

That makes sense. I could totally get on board starting a new site just to host these things. If we do so, though, we need clearly-defined criteria as to what gets to stay. Limiting ourselves to stuff Chris has seen would be fair, but it would need to be absolutely enforced. Which is to say, we couldn't have a page on ''Chris Gets Laid'', excellent though it is, unless he himself responded to it in some way. -[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 03:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

You could do that. That's entirely acceptable, as it focuses on Chris and its activities. What you couldn't do is a story about a Sonichu recolor having some dumb adventure while Chris gets laid as a side-story. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 03:37, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Well by those rules, we'd have to delete the page on ''Sonichu Is Dead'', because Chris barely appears in it. We need a single, objective policy for what gets to stay and what doesn't, regardless of quality. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 11:40, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I agree that there has to be some kind of objective criteria, not just what largely seems to be "Your fic/comic is bad, and you should feel bad, ur a furfag lawl." If you want to cut fics because the Fan section is getting out of hand, fine. Just come up with a standard that makes sense and enforce it. If the "How you think Sonichu should have been" rule is enforced, then the entire fan section will be pretty much gutted. If we go with the "About Chris not Sonichu", well pretty much every fic has Chris' Mary Sue Avatar Combined with his real self on there, so where's the line? Is it IRL Chris, or Comic Chris? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 16:41, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*That's why I think limiting ourselves to stuff to which Chris has responded makes the most sense. He either did, or he didn't, and there are no shades of grey. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 02:05, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

*As I've said elsewhere, I personally think the Fan Works index is more of a hassle than it's worth and we should get rid of it. Clyde has suggested a separate wiki and I think that might be the best solution. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:47, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
** I would agree that a second site for fan works would probably be the best course of action. However, I think we should consider keeping notable fanworks (that is, those that Chris has responded to) here on the CWCki. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 17:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Re:Examples of bad fanworks ===

Most of the fan works don't seem to fall in any of those categories. Is there something else that's a problem?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, a lot of the admins are just fickle, want things they specifically don't like deleted no matter if there was a good reason or not, and don't seem to realize that trolls don't necessarily have to be asses to anyone and everyone. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 12:35, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
* Right. It's that, it has nothing to do with an overwhelming majority of it being some sick fucks fantasy and has virtually or literally nothing to do with Chris. They're just angry, angry DAMN DIRTY SLANDEROUS TROLLS. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:12, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

=== Dumb suggestion ===

Why couldn't we just grandfather stuff in? --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 12:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

=== my suggestion ===

wipe everything and start a new wiki because i'm cutting down everything that's eating up resources. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:31, 13 July 2010 (UTC)
*people should pay attention to me more. also pay attention to me. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 16:48, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

I like this idea. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|Manwithoutabody]] 17:00, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

i've been considering moving to a new version of mediawiki, but might as well wait for 1.16 to reach stable. this should go on technical though i guess --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 19:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

==Harassment and NPOV==

Recent events have brought up these issues, so let's address them.

First, let's do our best to aim for some semblance of [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|NPOV]]. Things considered by us to be good humored may not be taken that way by others. So yeah, try not to insult other sites, users, etc.

Harassment - yes, there are fuckwits on this wiki. There's fuckwits on any wiki. But don't point it out to them. People need to be able to edit without fear of harassment from others for their users. It's one thing to tell someone they're wrong or being just stupid, it's another to tell them they're now under watch by a group of people with various intents. I really can't ago against Cogs, as she has different ideas how to run the CWCki than I do, and she is the site owner, but please don't harass other users. If they're stupid, just point it out and explain calmly why but telling them they're fuckwits is no way to do it. Srsly, I expect a bit more from you people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:16, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

So, essentially, kill them gently? --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:28, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Jump/Bullshit

2010-07-12T20:09:15Z

Jump:

I think the "Just Because" traps were all replaced by the "Because she's Creepychu" reveal at the end. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:06, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps I titled it wrong. What I was trying to get at is, if you're going to put something like 'He/she suddenly did x without thinking etc', a certain amount of figurative ceremony can solidify it, and make it seems less throwaway. Got-dang mental block! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:24, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

The idea regarding her fast character change from rebel to nut was that its her old Creepichu personality coming back to assert itself over the more reasonable Kitty personality. I still think there's plenty of overlap: what reasonable person ''wouldn't'' want to murder Robbie? I admit that I'm addicted to obscure references. So your feedback has been inputed and I thank you for your honesty. Bill, that wasn't actually the end; I've got one more chapter planned. The story needs a denouement, and Magi-Chan still has some torture coming his way. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 7:45, 12 July 2010 (CEST)

Looking forward to it. You handle criticism well, especially considering I was rambling somewhat incoherently. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 20:09, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Jump

2010-07-12T20:06:43Z

Jump: fuck yourself, delabonte

{{OperationMailbag}} {{Baha'i}}

'''note: i'm not great at doing things of my own volition. ask me to do stuff.'''

Anime

2010-07-12T03:45:01Z

Jump:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[File:Sailorcwc.jpg|thumb|[[Sailor Moon|Sailor Chris]]]]

Anime is the term for Japanese animation, and is loved by basement dwellers everywhere. Chris enjoys the artform as well, although it's not his primary obsession. He's watched a lot of anime, bought plenty of anime through the [[PlayStation Network]], and swiped as many ideas as he can get his head around from his favorite anime series.

==Chris and anime==
[[Image:Uncle_Go.jpg|thumb|Go Nagai, or as mecha anime fans call him: Uncle Go. He is the total opposite of Chris in the anime and manga realm, and has the creativity of a thousand men. He does more in a decade than most mangaka and writers can hope to do in a lifetime. Also note that he's a sharp dressed man.]]

It's not clear when Chris first discovered Japanese cartoons, although it's safe to guess that ''[[Pokémon]]'' or ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' were the seeds. He was a serious Pokemon enthusiast by the late '90s, and by 2004 he had enough interest in anime generally to attend the [[Anime Mid-Atlantic]] convention in Richmond, [[Virginia]].

Chris doesn't appear to be into anime as much as people think he is, though, even if he often gets slapped with the "weeaboo" tag. He returned to Anime Mid-Atlantic in 2005, but hasn't been back to a convention since then. In his [[Adult Swim posts|posts on the Adult Swim forums]], he didn't have much to say about the Japanese imports on the Adult Swim schedule, except to note that he didn't like the cartoonish [[Homos|male nudity]] in ''Crayon Shin-chan'' (big shock there) and he wanted to see more anime featuring [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|"very-close-to-nude girls"]] (even bigger shock).

Chris still rips off characters and story concepts from anime left and right, however, and he still watches some newer anime series. His PSN account shows that he downloaded the entire "harem" comedy-drama ''Shuffle!'' in 2009; given that it stars a hapless twit who finds himself surrounded by willing women for no very good reason, Chris probably loved it. He also downloaded all of ''Gunslinger Girl'' in early 2010, doing plenty to undermine his contention that he isn't a [[pedofork]].

According to his [[Netflix]] queue from around November 2009, Chris has purchased a number of anime in big sets. His anime sets centered around three of his likes: [[Sonic]], [[Transformers]] and women. In terms of Sonic, only three disks were seen purchased, all three centered on ''Sonic X''. It is more than likely that before the queue was taken, he had seen the other disks that comprises the series. While he had most of the Transformers series that were made in the last ten years, some of those were part of the Transformers saga known as the Unicron Trilogy: ''Armada'', ''Energon'' and ''Cybertron''.

The rest of the anime, as stated earlier, revolve around women - strong women who are capable of defending themselves without simpering over a man, [[Rosechu (species)|unlike some creatures we all know and love]]. Some of those films and series included ''Read or Die'', ''Slayers: Return'', ''Elfen Lied'' and, probably the least surprising of all, ''Kekko Kamen'', a comedic action series featuring a heroine who battles evil while stark naked.

In his [[Chris Sex Logs|chats about sex with PandaHalo]], Chris mentioned that he's watched some pornographic ("hentai") anime, but he didn't go into any further detail. However, we do get some insight into what kind of hentai Chris is into from [[Episode 17]] during the elevator gag; unsurprisingly, it includes [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], [[Pokemon]] and [[Transformers]] porn.

==Anime and ''Sonichu''==
Although Chris was interested in anime before he began drawing his ''[[Sonichu_(comic)|Sonichu]]'' comics, he didn't start giving the characters in his comic an obviously anime-inspired look until the fifth issue of the series, which he completed in the spring of 2006. This was almost certainly the result of [[Megan Schroeder]]'s influence — she was a big fan of ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' and other popular Japanese cartoons, and Chris was pursuing her especially fervently at the time. Practically speaking, this shift in style involved giving his characters huge, prismatic, saucer-like eyes, which make them look more [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] than animu, or "upside-down U" eyes.

Needless to say, despite the radical artwork style change in his comics, Chris still was cockblocked.

Since his relationship with Megan deteriorated (eventually [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|blowing up in his face]]), anime hasn't been so obvious an influence on Chris’s artwork. He still goes overboard with the giant saucer eyes from time to time, though.

==Anime Chris has ripped off==
[[Image:Sonichu05-P50.jpg|thumb|[[SingStar Challenge Round 1|So pitiful, it's true.]] A better example of Chris's anime-inspired artwork. (Still shit, mind.)]]
Like every other form of entertainment he enjoys, Chris views anime as a rich source of ideas that he can swipe and integrate into his own "original" works. Aside from the most obvious victims of his anti-creativity (like ''Pokémon''), these are some of the shows he’s abused.

* ''[[Daniel Mimms|Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo]]'': The [[My Little Pony]] greeting card that Chris gave to [[Mimms]] mashed this series up with ''Naruto''.
* ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'': Chris's infamous [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack comes from Dragon Ball.
* ''[[Excel Saga]]'': Consciously and otherwise, Chris has lifted (and butchered) dozens of jokes from this series.
* ''Fullmetal Alchemist'': One of Chris's My Little Ponies is based off of main character Edward Elric.
* ''Inuyasha'': The entrapment of [[Wes-Li Sonichu]] in [[Sonichu 2]] rips off the similar entrapment of ''Inuyasha'''s title character.
* ''[[Jiggliami|Macross Frontier]]'': Blanca traced her illustration of Jiggliami over a character from this series, and Chris unthinkingly traced over her tracing.
* ''[[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance|Pretty Cure]]'': Chris's wonder-twin team-up with his sister [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|Crystal]] in [[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_8:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target_Part_2.22|Sub-Episode 8]] lifts from this popular magical-girl series, one of Megan Schroeder's favorites.
* ''[[Sailor Moon]]'': Chris ripped [[Sailor Megtune]] from here, obviously, among many other things.
* ''[[Samurai Pizza Bots|Samurai Pizza Cats]]'': In a spectacular display of unoriginality, even by Chris's standards, he swiped this title to give to CWCville's platoon of robot defenders. Apparently they deliver pizza in their off hours.
* ''[[Simonla Rosechu|Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]]'': [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]] and [[Simonla Rosechu]] were inspired by this series, although Chris probably doesn't realize that.
* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'': In made-up Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
* ''Yu Yu Hakusho'': Chris uses the protagonist's Reigan attack, calling it "Zap Cannon", in [[Sonichu 10]].

==''End of Evangelion''==
[[Ivy]] got Chris to see ''[[Wikipedia:The End of Evangelion|End of Evangelion]]'' as inspiration for finishing the [[comic]].<ref>[[PVCC]] post by Ivy's friend: Notable Favorite Parts of End of Eva 1. Misato/Kaji sex scene(Where you only saw feet) Reason: It made him feel that he was a big man and that he was watching no Kid's Cartoon. 2. The Rei Angels that were Kawaii Reason: Kawaii~ 3. The internal Struggles of 1 boy Reason: unknown Theory: Probably sees himself as Shinji being constantly trolled by Auska, ect. What is Chris' Summary of End of Eva: An generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance...alot like him. What Chris thought he saw: Symbolisms(IN MY EVA?) What Christ didn't like about Eva 1. Everyone turns to orange tang juice Reason: Unknown, Chris fears Death? Everyone at least got to see their lover before they died(even if the love was 1 sided). But that would require chris to understand it. 2.Rei angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves. Reason: Unknown. 3. The Doom and Gloom end Reason: Cause Chris don't like the bad news. 4.Auska freaking out(I don't wanna die) Reason: Draw your own thesis. Chris has made no mention of Shinji fapping to to the comatose auska. Why? we don't know. Final Question. Did Chris even understand what he even saw? Answer: We're guessing no.</ref>

Chris's summary: A generic tale of a boy's struggle for acceptance… [[Chris and his Ego|a lot like him]]. Chris thought he saw symbolism (IN MY EVA?), but he's too stupid to see what it symbolized.

Chris's favorite parts:
# The Misato and Kaji sex scene (where you saw only feet), because it made him feel that he was a big boy and that he was watching a no-kids cartoon.
# The Rei Angels that were kawaii and had boobs.
# The internal struggles of Shinji.

Chris didn't like:
# Everyone turns to orange tang juice
# Rei Angels getting turned on by stabbing themselves.
# The unhappy ending.
# Asuka freaking out (I don't wanna die).

==See also==
*[[Anime Wings]]
*[[Anime Mid-Atlantic]]
*[[Adult Swim]]

==Sauces==
<references />

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

User talk:Wintermute

2010-07-12T03:39:04Z

Jump:

y hello thar

== You killed Armitage?! ==

WTF, I needed him to get rid of the neurotoxin!
[[User:DronePod|Gibson! it's Gibson! his head's been cut clean off!]] 11:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Kacey stuff ==

Oh. Dear. He actually insulted her and groped her. On two dates.

HOW COME NO ONE HAS FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THIS SHITFUCKER?!?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:13, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Because of his AUTIZTIC CARD [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

I really want to know what line Chris has to cross where the autism card won't cut it anymore, and how close he is to said line. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:50, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Guys, Guys this fat fuck will eventually get his ass kicked by someone anyway just be patient.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 00:56, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

It usually only takes me one date to start groping a girl. No one's ever kicked my ass for it, they usually just grope me back. I love not being a fat fuck. [[User:Niggoducks|Niggoducks]] 05:35, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

==Were you that old Totse mod?==

The one everyone kept calling Wintercunt? If so, I thought you were female that whole time.

It's this site that used to exist, full of angsty teenagers. It teaches you to make shitty bombs that will blow up in your face and get high off of household substances. [[User:Niggoducks|Niggoducks]] 05:33, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

lol chris يعتقد أننا إرهابيون --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:39, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Jump/Bullshit

2010-07-12T03:24:24Z

Jump:

User:Jump/Bullshit

2010-07-12T02:56:40Z

Jump: /* Consistency in setting */ oops

==Afternoon==

These are just a couple things I picked out that I felt could've been approached a different way, because my massive [[ego]] won't let the alleged mistakes of others ever go unnoticed, ever.

===Antagonists and anger===

Right off the bat, we establish Kitty as the rebel to the oppressive CWCville. The relationship between her and the state is expounded upon quickly, albeit with some cognitive skippage. Namely, the have the transformation from amnesiac to violent hero/psychopath, without much linking the two phases. The excutions provided a good example of the nature of the administration, but without any deep character relevance. The protagonist has one event that sets her on a murderous, sadististic rampage; readers automatically assume that some sort of altercation must've taken place beforehand to earn her ire and make her the killer we see in later chapters.

==='Just because' traps===

This happens all the time; there are times the writers wants something to happen, and wills it so. Now, I'm not being completely fair here, to be honest. Looking at Chapter 2

{{quote|Kitty didn’t know, at the time, why she did what she did next, but she took a big bite out of Rosechu’s arm, and began chewing.}}

'At the time' gives us a good indication that the cannabilism will be explained later, but at that point in the story, without proper character context, it feels slightly forced (if admittedly awesome), though her brutality does seem to foreshadow it. Some good ol' descriptors could've smoothed it over, a quick bit on how 'Something primal, animalistic took over her as she inspected the cooling corpse. Powerless to resist, Kitty knelt, oblivious to her situation, and tore a strip from the lifeless limb with her teeth. The sweet taste was intoxicating, invigorating, even.' See? Just slather on some adjectives and a heady mood, and everything becomes more believable. '''Note: I write like a poor man's Micheal Critchon sometimes, so that may have been a bit overboard.'''

===Consistency in setting===

One my favorite phrases occurs near the beginning. "Walking down the ugly, brightly-coloured street, with ugly posters of the mayor everywhere and ugly zapbuds growing along the ugly, bright green grass." It's a great use of repetition, conveying how obnoxiously cheerfull CWCville is. The same ingenuity follows the character descriptions as well, but some of the settings fall flat. The cracked, misshapen house of Sonichu and Rosechu juxtaposed against their perfectly manicured lawn, the dank, unused (or heavily used, you're the author) basement, all ripe opportunities.

===Misc. Notes===

*Try to avoid referencing songs unless it's a classic that ''really'' adds to the mood. (I can't hate the Queen, though)
* If you're going to do the occasional switch to first person (in parentheses like this), make it more common so readers get adjusted.
*Keep it up, got talent bro.

User talk:Manwithoutabody

2010-07-12T02:55:42Z

Jump:

Quick question. I assume that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManWithoutABody this] is you? - [[User:AreYouAFool|AreYouAFool]] 15:52, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

== Ham ==

{{tl|Ham}} We sure as hell have a template for that now! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:01, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

== Your analisis of sonee and rosey and children's shows ==

I love it.Just saying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 21:18, 4 June 2010 (UTC)

== Your Youtube Dramatic Readings ==

Just wanted to tell ya that I've been watching your "My Inner Life" readings. One of the funniest things I've ever heard. Nicely Done. : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 07:50, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:Just curious, will Afternoon get it's own dramatic reading, or do you only save it for things you can make funny? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 01:39, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Thanks and also something else. ==

Me and some guys are working on a comic based on Sonichu (you may have noticed some thigns i added on Alc. Legend's page) and your characterization of Kitty is very close to what we had in mind. Long story short, i' ve thinking of adapting some things from afternoon into her characterization (which i think is great even though i find it heartwrenching), but first i'd like your OK. But most importantly: '''HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!!'''[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:28, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

-:O[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
:Also maybe i should tell you some other details of our characterization: She's lesbian with trisha and oppostie to your interpretation, she's a blind follower of Chris, or mopre acurately Crystal, who would be villain and far more useful/stronger than chris. In fact all the asperchu chaotic combo now willfullly work for chris.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:10, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Afternoon fanart. ==

I made something for you. tell me what you think:
[[File:Hello Kitty.jpg]]

See if you can find the pieces of the sonichu family (i forgot rosechu though).[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 02:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
:There is one piece in her mouth and the rest are in her right arm.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

Giving characterization to Sonichu characters ain't really much of a hard task. Even when mocking the sacharineness of Sonichu's children, you made more deep than chris ever did. they had dreams and emotions. i felt really sad about reading their pain, though that may have been just because of my personality. but still, once again good work.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 17:55, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==care for a little erudite criticism?==

so, i do a lot of literary analysis as part of my coursework, and i was wondering if you'd like a couple suggestions. i mean, i like your story, but just noticed some things. if you want to avoid my babbling, though, i'll keep my opinions to myself. (ps i don't usually type this poorly) --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:12, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

[[User:Jump/Bullshit]], feel free to disregard. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Jump/Bullshit

2010-07-12T02:54:33Z

Jump: blargh tired

==Afternoon==

These are just a couple things I picked out that I felt could've been approached a different way, because my massive [[ego]] won't let the alleged mistakes of others ever go unnoticed, ever.

===Antagonists and anger===

Right off the bat, we establish Kitty as the rebel to the oppressive CWCville. The relationship between her and the state is expounded upon quickly, albeit with some cognitive skippage. Namely, the have the transformation from amnesiac to violent hero/psychopath, without much linking the two phases. The excutions provided a good example of the nature of the administration, but without any deep character relevance. The protagonist has one event that sets her on a murderous, sadististic rampage; readers automatically assume that some sort of altercation must've taken place beforehand to earn her ire and make her the killer we see in later chapters.

==='Just because' traps===

This happens all the time; there are times the writers wants something to happen, and wills it so. Now, I'm not being completely fair here, to be honest. Looking at Chapter 2

{{quote|Kitty didn’t know, at the time, why she did what she did next, but she took a big bite out of Rosechu’s arm, and began chewing.}}

'At the time' gives us a good indication that the cannabilism will be explained later, but at that point in the story, without proper character context, it feels slightly forced (if admittedly awesome), though her brutality does seem to foreshadow it. Some good ol' descriptors could've smoothed it over, a quick bit on how 'Something primal, animalistic took over her as she inspected the cooling corpse. Powerless to resist, Kitty knelt, oblivious to her situation, and tore a strip from the lifeless limb with her teeth. The sweet taste was intoxicating, invigorating, even.' See? Just slather on some adjectives and a heady mood, and everything becomes more believable. '''Note: I write like a poor man's Micheal Critchon sometimes, so that may have been a bit overboard.'''

===Consistency in setting===

One my favorite phrases occurs near the beginning. "Walking down the ugly, brightly-coloured street, with ugly posters of the mayor everywhere and ugly zapbuds growing along the ugly, bright green grass." It's a great use of repetition, conveying how obnoxiously cheerfull CWCville is. The same ingenuity follows the character descriptions as well, but some of the settings fall flat. The cracked, misshapen house of Sonichu and Rosechu juxtaposed against their perfectly manicured lawn, the dank, unused (or heavily, you're the author) basement, all ripe opportunities.

===Misc. Notes===

*Try to avoid referencing songs unless it's a classic that ''really'' adds to the mood. (I can't hate the Queen, though)
* If you're going to do the occasional switch to first person (in parentheses like this), make it more common so readers get adjusted.
*Keep it up, got talent bro.

User talk:JenkinsJinkies

2010-07-12T02:17:10Z

Jump: /* reward */

Hey dude. What part of Boston do you live in? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:03, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

أهلا صديقي --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:19, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

I can tell, you're going to fit in great here. Welcome! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:35, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Wow, dude, you are a gangsta for keeping an eye on Chrissy. You are an awesome dude, keep on contributing! [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 03:43, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Belated welcome to CWCki, man. I've noticed that your userpage looks a bit bare. Why don't you tell us a little more about yourself? You can also use some userboxes to indicate your race, religion, orientation, favourite console, etc. Just don't do something stupid, like drop your dox.
--[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 21:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Category:Userboxes Here's a link] for all the different userboxes we have. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 23:22, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== reward ==
hey man, I'd like your name and address so I can send you a reward. china or pickles? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:23, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Also, could you help us with the new [[Amanda]] article? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:27, 4 July 2010
(UTC)

Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

implying chris would actually travel somewhere. if you think chris is a threat, well, you're a pussy lol. haven't you seen his push ups or his running video or his cwcfighting thing? jesus christ he's as weak as paper. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:35, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I agree with Clyde. Why are you afraid of an autistic blob of fat? Chris is so weak and unmanly, it's no wonder no girl wants to have sex with him. --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 00:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I also agree with Clyde. Aside from his poor [[Chris and Health|health]] and his [[obesity]], Chris proved last September that he was too weak to even break a thin, tiny wooden stake(and even if he did that wouldn't be very impressive). Heck, Chris had trouble with [[Chris Loses It|''cardboard'']] and [[CWC Fighter]] was just laughably bad--Chris has zero coordination. The only wood Chris ever managed to break was his own [[Duck|dick]]. It's not intimidating in the slightest. Chris should just stick to yelling at people.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:25, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:I dunno, Chris is the kind of person that everyone would underestimate. For good reason, of course! The guy can't even do a single proper push-up. But his spastic flailing could land a lucky shot. Normally, that could be akin to being slapped by your 90 year old grandmother, but with that pen knife of his he could do some damage. In the sense you'd get a nasty infection from all the germs that thing must be crawling with from being in his possession. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:37, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::That's assuming you can't either escape/disarm him in the five seconds it takes him to open the thing. Which wouldn't be hard for anyone above the age of ten.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't you be too distracted laughing? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Nah, I'd disarm him and ''then'' laugh. We're not comic book villains, after all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:01, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
**وقال "لا يفعل شيئا فهو ضعيف جدا--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:15, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
***علينا أن نعمل على موقعنا العربية, brother. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:17, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:12, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Manwithoutabody

2010-07-12T02:12:36Z

Jump:

User:VanKrause

2010-07-11T03:26:42Z

Jump: Undo revision 103742 by Eniggy (Talk)

<div class="metadata" style="clear: both"></div>
{| cellspacing="3"
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{{Award|
bordercolor=#FFFFFF|
bgcolor=#000000|
textcolor=#FFFFFF|
titlecolor=#FFFFFF|
image=Evan'sDeath.JPG|
img_width=75|
width=358px|
title=PERMABANNED|
text=This user went above and beyond being banned and had their dick ripped out by [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], who thinks he has banhammer powers. SPOILER ALERT: Pfargtl9000 is just a faggot who thinks CWCki is his personal army.
<noinclude>[[Category: Awards]]</noinclude>}}

<center>I will be throwing together a '''[[User:VanKrause/Blacklist|list]]''' of cancer (IE user who are furries, roleplayers, otherkin, etc.) that are found on CWCki. If you happen to stumble upon any such users, please query me in IRC or leave me a message on my talkpage with the user's name and crimes against humanity and they will be added to the list. kthx</center>

{{quote|Hey, I won't have a problem dropping dox and pics and caps all over nthe place if you want to play dumb. I'll gladly make you look dumb, so you don't have to do it for yourself anymore. I know it's your full time job.|Brittany "Internet <strike>Hate</strike> Eat Machine" Holechko, [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Brittany_Holechko pot] [http://pastebin.com/f7316e03f calling] [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/c/c3/Ihmmsntrolled.png the kettle] [http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/d/d4/94chan_post_an_hero.png black] [http://lulz-enterprises.789chan.org/ihm.mp3 much?]}} 

<center>{{#ev:youtube|AyT4LQo8ovY}}</center>
{{Krapplefag}}
{{MedalOfMerit}}
{{PVCC}}
{{IRCReg}}
{{Americunt}}
{{EDUser}}
{{Award|
bordercolor=#8d0000|
bgcolor=#dff0eb|
textcolor=#000000|
titlecolor=#8d0000|
image=711chan.png|
img_width=50|
width=358px|
title=[nig]|
text=This user is a regular on Chatnets|}}
{{Award|
bordercolor=#000000|
bgcolor=#FFFFFF|
textcolor=#000000|
titlecolor=#000000|
image=cwcvillesclosed.jpg|
img_width=50|
width=358px|
title=Nigra|
text=This user forges [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]] and spreads drama throughout Second life and is the scourge of many a furnigger.|}}

 
 

[[Image:chrissygoesinsane.jpg|center]]

'''Left to right:''' ''[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Nigra in the pickle suit]]'', ''[[Count Graduon]]'', ''[[Mary Lee Walsh]]'', ''[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]'', ''[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chrissy]]'', ''[[Trolls|Anon]]'', and ''[[Jimmy Hill]]''.

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] Spike Shoops ==
<gallery>
Image:lolbluespike.png|My rendition of [[BlueSpike]]'s likeness. Did I take his alias to literally? You decide. Use this as you see fit.
Image:bluespikeohexploitable.png|Advice Spike, Oh Exploitable.
Image:advicespikemedallion.png|Advice Spike knows whats best for Chris.
</gallery>

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] Medallion GET 2.0 ==
The spoils of trolling:

<gallery>
Image:medallionbox1.jpg|The Ark of the Covenant
Image:medallionbox2.jpg|The Ark, again.
Image:medallionandletter.jpg|The Jiggliami medallion and the letter to Blanca
Image:letter1.jpg|The ancient text, Chris's letter to [[Blanca]].
Image:letter2.jpg|Closeup part 1
Image:letter3.jpg|Closeup part 2
Image:jiggliamimedallion.jpg|The Jiggliami medallion
</gallery>

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] Bob the Lumberjack tees ==
Do you realize? Do you REALIZE!? That Bob the Lumberjack's likeness is now in tshirt form?

[[Image:bobthelumberjacktee.jpg|390px|center]]

|width="500" class="MainPageBG"|
<div style="padding: .4em .9em .9em">

[[Image:schwartzpic.jpg|120px|center]]

[[Image:ksproductions.png|120px|center]]

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] About ==
Yeah, I'm one of the owners of Legi0n, the chan where /cwc/ can be found. I am also known as Krapple Guy.

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] Contact ==
*IRC: [irc://irc.helldive.org/legi0n #legi0n on Helldive]
*MSN/Email: vankrause@789chan.org

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] Links ==
*[http://www.legi0n.789chan.org/cwc /cwc/]
*[http://www.legi0n.789chan.org Legi0n]
*[http://oppdis.com/legi0npedia Legi0npedia - The ED alternative]
*<strike>[http://z3.invisionfree.com/Stretch_Douche Stretch Douche]</strike>
*[http://stretchdouche.com StretchDouche]
*[[User:Anonymous/CWCville Archives|CWCville Archives]]
*[[User:Anonymous/CWC music|Music collection]]
*[[User:Anonymous/Verbose CWCisms|Verbose CWCisms]]
*[[User:Anonymous/The Pinch|The Pinch's dox]]
*[[User:Anonymous/Geneva|Geneva's dox]]
*<s>[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/?reply=5997#top Chrissy's PSN? wat]</s>Gone?
*<s>[http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache:_IJsqdL3hgYJ:themiscreants.110mb.com/+the+miscreants+clyde+cash&cd=8&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a Miscreants backup (google cache)]</s>wiped

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] [[User_talk:Anonymous|Message]] ==
Or contact me in irc:
*irc.helldive.org #legi0n ([http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=53c027be90707773b4398de31aa77d09&server=irc.helldive.org&channel=%23legi0n web client])

== [[Image:Yawning squirtle oh exploitable.png|50px]] List of furfags on CWCki ==
*[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]]
*[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]]
*[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] (Furfag sympathizer, which is just as bad)

</div>
__NOTOC__
</div> 

[[Category:Trolls]]

Chris's birthday

2010-07-11T03:22:07Z

Jump:

[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|250px|left|Chris blows.]]

[[Chris]]'s '''birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizzare inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to wanting his birthday to be a national holiday) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==
[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]
===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===
[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|250px| And now the worst...]]
Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===
Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes instead of mourning the loss of his aunt. He would later go in to complain [[mumble 9| in a mumble chat]] about Aunt Corina ruining his birthday by selfishly dying.

===28th===
{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

=="Christian Love Day"==
[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|250px| The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally True and Honest, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all)]]

Now, most see their personal of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentines Day, only for [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|Chris wills it]] and it's also Mexican flag day. Chris then provided no details on how to celebrate and didn't put any effort into garnering publicity, except for one [[Christian Love Day|lone video.]]

Now, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', the holiday gains slightly more credence, if some disturbing moral stipulations. The homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and ego). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of it's denounment is nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==April 24th is also...==
*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dominican Republic broke out in civil war in 1965.

{{stub}}

User talk:Pfargtl9000

2010-07-10T00:45:29Z

Jump: /* Sup, dramawhore? */

==SFW template==
I think that if you're trolling Chris or just following him, you're probably not going to want to look at CWCki at work or school or any place like that. I think the Honest Content template mostly covers the disturbing matter that serves as a warning for people who don't want to see nudity and whatnot. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:59, 21 February 2010 (UTC)
* deleted the template. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 02:08, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

==[[Template:Australian|Aussiedick]] and [[Template:Canuckfag|Caniggo]] Templates==

Already been done. Maybe have a look at the [[CWCki:Requested Templates|Requested Templates]] page if you wish to help out making templates. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 18:29, 21 February 2010 (UTC)

==CWCipedia vandalism archival==

Thx guy. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 07:09, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

==If you're making a Christian Template...==

Could you please use a halfway respectable theologian? Someone like GK Chesterson or CS Lewis?
I'm just saying. That thing is gonna go on my userpage and I'd really like to not be represented by Mel Gibson or some other walking joke.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Or that. That works too.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Done. It looks better now. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 03:29, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::It occurs to me I never said thank you for the template. So thank you.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:45, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

== Jew Template ==

Thanks, man.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:49, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

== Yo ==
Thanks for helping me out, there. I really appreciate it. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 19:31, 22 April 2010 (EST)

Thanks from me, as well. Saw you got the template removed from my page. Also, saw the edit you made to the Sonee & Rosey page. I feel honored. : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 00:07, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

I think Pfargtl9000 is a pretty cool guy. eh helps people and doesn’t afraid of anything. [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:43, 6 June 2010 (UTC)

==Niggastolemyfamicon==

Dude, whats all this about needing a block? Explain and it shall be done (If you have reason) --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 06:50, 24 April 2010 (UTC)
:[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|All you need to do is see the history of this page. Note edits by him and Briscoe.]] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 21:03, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

::* All done. No problems now, he has a 6 month I.P ban. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 21:12, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

== Again...? ==
[[User:Briscoe|This guy]] is at it, now. He's the same on as before, I believe. Just using a different account. Someone really needs to do something about this... --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 8:02, 24 April 2010 (EST)
:* Clyde protected your page. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 06:03, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
::*That's cool. Thanks again for your help. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 10:21, 25 April 2010 (EST)
::It sure is personal army around here. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 12:00, 25 April 2010 (UTC)
:::<s>Yeah, and we're pissing off /cwc/ at the same time.</s> O SHI- [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 16:16, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

== you got a problem punk ==

then let's settle this 1 on 1 faggot 1 on 1 --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 01:28, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

== CWCpedia ==

are you the same Pfargtl9000 who helped vandalize cwcpedia?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 00:42, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
*Indeed, and yes, I am uploading the furry shit because I can. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 00:43, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:*BTW that shit is almost 3 MB per image. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 00:44, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:i salute you, great sir.>:( (this is my serious face)[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:46, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Oh yeah, and the furry shit is now Sonichu 12. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:23, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
::*i'll tell you what i told [[User:MoarLurk|Lou]]:in one night you people have done two things chris didn't do: update the cwckipedia and give the damn characters their pages & more depth than chris ever did. Also you are a kitty fan, which makes me like you even more! All of you trolls are fucking awesome and i envy you all.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:52, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*ok so /cwc/ got super pissed at my vandalism [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/43299.html] and i might get my dox posted soon [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 00:44, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==

Careful with categories. We still want to have each template in [[:Category:Userboxes]] and want some templates to include the relevant CWCkipedian category. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:01, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
: An example of how to do the categories is in [[Template:Eurofag]] and [[Template:Americunt]]. Don't know how many of these boxes had associated categories, though, but copypasting that stuff should be fairly straightforward... --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:26, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

You see how sexy the new userboxes on your userpage look, especially now I fixed the random whitepaces? LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE FUCKING HOT --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:39, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
===Re: Hey, buddy===
Fxd. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:34, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Rage Sparker? (DISCUSSION OVER YOU FUCKER) ==
More like drama magnet. Ok, first you insert yourself into drama between Ed and [[User:Niggastolemyfamicom|Niggastolemyfamicom]] (a /cwc/ mod) which started a shitstorm the size of Xbox which me and the other mods/admins over there had to clean up (srsly, it started other drama you don't even know about). Now, a normal person would see that troll on troll drama is stupid and would walk away. But no. You've now decided to claim that there was some attempt on /cwc/ to "dox" you. That thread mentioned you about 2 times. Calling you a self-righteous tool hardly equals trying to post your dox/raid you. NOT ONLY THAT, though. Oh no, you decided to make your own userbox were claiming that you pissed off /cwc/ and saying everyone there is an amateur troll and comparing them to Chris. Yeah, that's a good way to avoid drama. I'm sorry, but you're clearly butthurt. Even the person who got banned because of you has moved on and realized that retaliating against cwcki is a retarded idea. Stop raging at /cwc/ unless you want this drama to start again. You're just going to start more drama. Is that what you really want? And trust me, if you try to start shit between cwcki/legi0n again, I won't hesitate to let slip the dogs of war. I'm just saying: THINK before you post. You're looking just as bad as the "HURR DURR RAID TIEM GAIZ" people on /cwc/.--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 21:11, 8 June 2010 (UTC) 18:29, 4 June 2010 (UTC)

*Fuck that, you're just an elitist. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 02:30, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
***MY TACTIC OF DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING DEFINITELY DID NOT WORK WELL. not like it works [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:03, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
**LOL. You've changed your response to me like at least 2 times according to the revision history. And really? I'm the elitist? Am I the one flipping out over getting called a faggot on a small-time imageboard? You're also acting like cwcki = srs bsns. There is a misconception on /cwc/, that the sysops here are elitist. I see little evidence of that. I do however, see certain users thinking they're hot shit for doing unimpressive things. You need to deflate your ego a little bit, buddy.--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 21:11, 8 June 2010 (UTC) 18:16, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::*I've never posted on your god damn image board. Also, you act like an elitist because of the sole fact that you are a moderator on /cwc/. Does that give you any power elsewhere? No.

The shit I did was utterly unimpressive. Also, I wasn't called a faggot, I was called an "obsessive-compulsive CWCki contributor."
:::*No one ever said you did. Now you're saying that I'm an elitist solely because I use one website? That's giving credit to all the people who say that everyone on cwcki/pvcc is elitist, you know. Also, I'm not saying I have power over cwcki. I'm just saying that I'm not going to let people post retarded, inaccurate bullshit and not say something.--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 21:11, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
Also you'll just ignore this and tl;dr it to win a shit argument. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:45, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Also, I see you have a God Complex. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:46, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
::::*You're damn right, but not because I edit the cwcki or mod on a medium sized imageboard.--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 21:11, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::*god damn I am not gathering a personal army now just shut up [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 00:56, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Your message on Beat's talkpage (before he deleted the entire section lol) told a different story. Also, you appear to be getting mad. Maybe you should think before posting shit that serves no purpose other than inciting drama next time, eh?--[[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]][[User:Anon1Guardian|DrSerbia]][[image:spinningwindmill.gif|30px]] 02:12, 9 June 2010 (UTC)

== Julie chat ==

Awesome, find man. But, how is the converting to .oggs done?-[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 04:13, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== That fucker ==

I suppose you have been noticing that guy IBAgeneva vandalizing your page over and over who also apparently is niggastolemyfammicom. [[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:05, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::yes I have noticed. "don't feed the trolls," which I have done already. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:23, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:Oh herro :3 --[[User:IBAgeneva|IBAgeneva]] 05:36, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Heh, 99 years. I thought Champthom would block him indefinitely. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:55, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Sup, dramawhore? ==

Alright, lets settle this shit outside of cwcki. Get skype (if you don't have it already), message me your skype name in irc, and we'll work things out from there. DO IT FAGGOT --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Why not? You are just a pussy if you don't wanna settle this, brah. Now get Skype so we can settle this. Otherwise you're really just dragging the CWCki into this and hoping they'll be your personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:39, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Why is it that Krapplefags like you accuse people of playing "personal army?" It's retarded, and the CWCki was never involved in this in the first place. Also, I'm still not going into Skype, seeing how you're just pulling me in only because of your deep-rooted hatred of furries. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:46, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Bro, bro, it goes beyond furfag shit, bro. It's also your drama shit that you're causing. I mean you even pissed off fucking cogsdev. I see no reason why we can't all just settle this on skype so we don't have to keep using the cwcki discussion pages. On a side note, we've begun writing up an ED page about you and your cwcki loldrama. Just thought you'd like to know. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:55, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::Actually, from what I've been seeing, Pfargtl's been pretty justified in as far as you go. You've been vandalizing, ban-evading, and harassing. Pfargtl did start overreacting a bit, but honestly, I don't think I can recall a situation where Cogs didn't get more pissed off than she really needed to. See the sonichu twitter incident for evidence of that one, especially since it was Champ that took the high-ground and removed a pretty damn embarrassing template from two people who just goofed off for a few minutes a day, and had promised to stop as soon as they were told it was a bad idea. But I'm getting off topic. While Pfargtl did cause a bit of drama in his responses to you, the faggotry was yours, the original problem was yours, and you're blatantly being a faggot right now, by repeatedly evading your ban. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 23:19, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

As long as totally unrelated parties are jumping on the banwagon, I just want to quickly point out that Van Krause isn't banned, Pf has taken it upon himself to spam the template everywhere. (You spelled wield wrong, btw, VK) As an observer, I reccommend you GET ON IR- er, skype to avoid further bullshit. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 00:45, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-09T16:11:17Z

Jump: /* IBA fucking geneva */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
TOTAL: 25
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook his head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo

2010-07-09T14:28:43Z

Jump:

[[File:ChrisGameShop.jpg|thumb|Chris at the Nintendo shoppa.]]
[[File:Customwiimote.jpg|thumb|Chris chillin' with his Wii]]

'''Nintendo Co., Ltd.''' is a multinational company from Kyoto, Japan, which was founded in 1889 and started off with producing [[Card games|playing cards]]. During the latter half of the twentieth century it started getting more and more involved in the [[video games|video game]] industry. In [[1980]], two years before the birth of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], Nintendo brought out its first gaming console.

Chris currently owns (at very least) Wii, GBA, and DS, as well as a [[List of Chris's games|shitload of games for them]]. It is his favorite company, along with [[Sony]].

==See also==
*''[[Animal Crossing]]''
*[[Flipnote Hatena]]
*[[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|Homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]]
*[[Club Nintendo]]
*''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]''
*[[An Official Sonichu Update|Nintendo of America]]
*''[[Pokémon]]''
*[[Shigeru Miyamoto]]
*[[Takashi Tezuka]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Wii Incident]]
*[[Wii Remote of Fail]]

==External links==
*[[wikipedia:Nintendo|Nintendo]] on [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Chris's birthday

2010-07-09T14:21:20Z

Jump: /* "Christian Love Day" */

{{Needs Images}}

[[Chris]]'s '''birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizzare inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to wanting his birthday to be a national holiday) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

===18th===
While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===
Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===
Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities. [[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===
{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

=="Christian Love Day"==

Now, most see their personal of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentines Day, only for [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|Chris wills it]] and it's also Mexican flag day. Chris then provided no details on how to celebrate and didn't put any effort into garnering publicity, except for one [[Christian Love Day|lone video.]]

Now, in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', the holiday gains slightly more credence, if some disturbing moral stipulations. The homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and ego). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of it's denounment is nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==April 24th is also...==
*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dominican Republic broke out in civil war in 1965.

{{stub}}

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-09T14:07:20Z

Jump: /* CWC Sighting */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
TOTAL: 24
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook his head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Apostrophe

2010-07-07T15:42:48Z

Jump:

{{welcome|Champthom}}
Also, thanks for reminding me, I need to start the Grammar Nazi project. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:37, 1 December 2009 (CET)

==Linking Chris's name==
I think in general, things should be linked at least once per section (on first mention), even if it's multiple times in an article. I use to subscribe to the school of thought that once per article would suffice but I think in a case where a subsection of an article was linked directly, the user shouldn't be made to scroll up to find an article on a topic if it'll clarify something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:05, 3 December 2009 (CET)

==Why did you delete the line, "Chris misses the irony that ass meat is exactly what he eats every time he drives to McDonalds."?==

You said "let's not compromise the facts here", but isn't it well known that round steaks are popularly used as hamburger meat? McDonald's beef contains a variety of things and I imagine that round steak is one of the less nasty parts of the equation. --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 02:12, 6 December 2009 (CET)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a3/BeefCutChuck.svg/511px-BeefCutChuck.svg.png
How is the part labeled "Round" (or at least the part of the round closest to the tail) not the ass? I am genuinely curious. --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 03:03, 6 December 2009 (CET)

==Red links==
Red links aren't exactly a bad thing, FYI. If there's a red link, make it a blue link by making it into something if it's notable enough to be its own article. Or, if it's a category, see if there's an existing category. You categorized a BlueSpike chat under [[:Category:BlueSpike]] which seems to be restricted to fan art of BlueSpike, while you could have placed it in [[:Category:PSN Chats]]. However, to be fair, PSN chats should be a subcategory of BlueSpike because, at least at the moment, all of the PSN chats are with BlueSpike. Anyways, back to red links, there's some option where if you don't like seeing red links, it'll just show a little question mark of the end of the word. Yeah.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:09, 11 December 2009 (CET)

==Hey, Boss==
Well, boss, I'm ready to round up all the bad articles from the ghettos and put them to work in grammaticalization camps. Where do you want me to start? Give me an assignment! I'm ready for it. I'm ready, boss. Put me in! --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 23:45, 11 December 2009 (CET)
*Something has suddenly come to my attention.... Shouldn't we be putting the titles of these works also into their proper... format? Like a book or DVD having its mention in the article italicized, and, more dauntingly, having quotes around the titles of all the of the YouTube videos? --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 01:28, 12 December 2009 (CET)
:*Oh, and two more things: a. Some titles are being written as "[number] [given title]", whereas others are just the number or given title or ' "[given title]" (officially known as "[number]")'. What format should we be using that? b. Also, what's our policy on the annotations in transcripts? You know, the "[''pissing my pants'']" things. It's usually been policy to have them italicized, but the thing that really gets me about them is whether or not to capitalize the first letter in them, and if so, in what situations to do so. I always just leave the first letter lowercase (unless it's a proper noun). What are your feelings on how to handle these evil specks of Satanspawn? --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:01, 12 December 2009 (CET)

==Species==

Ugh... a matter of confusion, master. We have Sonichu and Rosechu... and then we have the species of each. Are they be written "Sonichu"/"Rosechu", or are they "sonichu/rosechu" (and similarly with Sonees/sonees and Roseys/roseys)? There seems to be two different forms floating around; there's one that's capitalized and another that isn't. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 05:25, 13 December 2009 (CET)

==Death of the strikethrough==

Are we commiting genocide against the strikethrough? If yes, I'll join you, Liquid Chris for one, has not been purged. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:37, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
*Did it anyway. There we go. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
*We should probably draw up a hitlist of things like [[Lie]] and [[Fail]] to sort out.
--[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 00:52, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

==Mumble 2==

Good work on Mumble 2 there Apostrophe! Article is looking much better. Was it you who wikified the summary as well? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 16:49, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

==It's been a while==

Where have you been? Not seen you in a while. CWCki has been missing you! --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:40, 27 April 2010 (UTC)

==Hey==

Your dedication to the elimination of poor grammar, red links, and strikethroughs is inspiring. Keep it up! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:42, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris and religion

2010-07-07T15:35:52Z

Jump: quality control

{{quote|When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.|1st Corinthians 13:11, on what Chris <s>has failed to</s> will never do.}}

{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of [[JERKS|envy]], murder, debate, [[Lies|deceit]], malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, [[Chris and his ego|proud]], boasters, inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

{{quote|my CURRENT church can help me a LOT better than any "professional"|Chris being a Xenufag, to [[Vivian Gee|Vivitheg]]}}
[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the naive hillbilly idiot who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''and'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital sex, [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Mass debating|masturbation]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: He actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC_(28_December_2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in 2000.<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In 2008 he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the Southern Baptist and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of CWCville - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the Rosechus. (Not to mention, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Catholic church Chris could have come up with, as most Catholic churches have a saint prefix.)

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows pre-marital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information.

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES]]
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls|trolls']] side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus tell Chris he is meant to be with Ivy who is [[lie|totally not a troll]].]]
[[Image:Issue 0A Page 8 edit.JPG|thumb|left|Radar sums it up nicely]]

Chris has a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of two-headed creature, unlike the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity, which states that God himself exists as three "persons" or expressions. This would technically make him closer to a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarianism Unitarian] than a Methodist.

Being the unparalleled study in egotism he is, Chris seems to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. To Chris, God will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose is to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. He is commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will...[insert anything Chris [[fail|fails]] at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from God and Jesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[fail]]ure was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca]], [[PandaHalo]], and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of Chris's child, despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To_Clyde_and_Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus kill themselves so they can burn in hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in his comic. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter in [[Mailbag 33]] asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that." One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

It's important to ask Christians why, if God is so loving, there is pain and suffering in the world, and why they have suffered at the hands of him. However, unlike many Christians, Chris can't even think of a half-assed answer to the question. It's strange that despite Chris's strong belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer works is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please". To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
[[Image:Apostle_paul_rembrandt.jpg|thumb|left|The likely reaction of Apostle Paul to Chris's 'interpretation' of the Bible]]
[[Image:Jesus facepalm.jpg|thumb|right|Jesus's reaction to Chris's antics.]]
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris, [[Mailbag 30#Questions|with his own theory]].}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]], and [[jerkops]], Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible. His homophobia apparently had nothing to do with Leviticus 18:22, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from [[Family Guy]]. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Guilty of all "Seven Deadly Sins"===
[[Image:Pope face palm.jpg|thumb|right|His Holiness's reaction to Chris's commission of all Seven Deadly Sins.]]

The concept of there being "seven deadly sins" is more a conception of the Catholics than of the Protestants, who will mostly tell you that ''any'' sin is equally as bad in the eyes of God. Given that Chris very likely could not tell the difference, it doesn't matter much. 

*'''Lust''': Obvious. Between all the purchases of sex toys and pornography, masturbation, sexual fantasies, intentions with prospective mates, and his objectification of women, lust is not only what seems to consume his every thought: it may very well be what leads to the consumption of his soul by Beelzebub (if you believe in that sort of thing). In fact, he's now on a [[Fuck Quest]]. See [[Chris and Sex]].
*'''Gluttony''': It is not quite known if Chris's [[obesity|girth]] is [[Barbara|hereditary]] or the result of [[McDonalds|over consumption]], but the latter seems more likely having been a spoiled child and being sedentary for the greater part of his life.
*'''Avarice/Greed''': Chris's obsession with gaining wealth via winning contests and his behavior in trying to do so (e.g. putting [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] questions about his paternity on the back burner while nagging him to vote for him), demonstrate an extreme desire for material gain. Also, he steals from his parents to buy [[PS3|video games he'll never play]]. See also [[Chris and Money]].
*'''Sloth''': Another extremely obvious one. Content to be the proud recipient of a "[[monthly tugboat]]" while sitting on his ass playing video games and surfing the Internet, Christian rarely even puts forth even the minimal amount effort necessary to draw his Sonichu comics more than a few times a year.
*'''Wrath''': [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[Jerkops]]. [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]]. "[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]". [[Chris_and_anger|Yeah...]]
*'''Envy''': His attitude towards other men as having taken [[Virgin with rage|"ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS AND LEFT NONE FOR ME!!!"]] is a lot more envy than most Christians should ever hold towards anything. Another proof of his envy was the personal hate that he aimed at [[Adam Stackhouse]], the winner of the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]]. Frankly, Adam deserved to win, but Chris cannot accept that someone else has something (talent) which he does not.
*'''Pride''': Chris's self-centered worldview and inability to note his own flaws. Narcissus himself would look down on him for his selfishness. This is partly due to incessant coddling and sheltering from his parents his whole life. See [[Chris and his Ego]] for more information.

===Breaking all "Ten Commandments"===

Similar to the above, the concept of the Ten Commandments is more commonly associated with Judaism than Christianity, but, as noted, Chris is probably too goddamn stupid to tell the difference.

*'''1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and Reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses.
*'''2. "Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the Medallions of Fail or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment.
*'''3. "Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says 'goddamn' a lot too.
*'''4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath.
*'''5. "Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] that [[Bob walks in|upset]] his father. He also [[Bob Walks In Aftermath|called his father a bastard]] once.
*'''6. "Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies.
*'''7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': In the literal sense, Chris will most likely be following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]].
*'''8. "Thou shalt not steal"''': It is unknown if Chris has ever stolen any physical thing in real life, but if [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has, however, stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] Although, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done ... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
*'''9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator.
*'''10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]].

===Breaking the Levitical Laws===

The Levitical laws were written for Hebrews, as a covenant with God. They are a priestly code of social behavior, with the agreement that: if the laws are followed, the Hebrews would be given the Promised Land. Despite the fact that these laws were made for a culture thousands of years ago, and only followed by strict observers of Halakha, Chris seems to have no problem applying these laws to modern times and modern people. Well, [[Chris and hypocrisy|sometimes]].

In [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]], Chris touts one of the most used and abused Bible verses, Leviticus 18:22, as evidence that [[homos|homosexuality]] is "just plain wrong". Unknown to Chris, and many people who cite this verse, this is a part of the old Levitical code, which has many, many other commandments. Most Christians pick and choose which Levitical laws they obey and which were "merely metaphor" or "just for the Hebrews" despite what [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:17&version=NIV Jesus Christ said about the laws]. Chris breaks Levitical Law on a near daily basis.

There are many, many laws, and Chris breaks too many of them for them to all be listed here. Some prime examples include:

*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2011&version=NIV Leviticus 11]''' This whole chapter deals with was sort of animals you should and should not eat. Even though Chris eats at [[McDonald's]] every "2 or 3 times a week", odds are that he's had pork or shellfish at least once in his life, if not many times.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:11&version=NIV Leviticus 19:11]''' "Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another." [[List of Chris's lies|Chris lies a lot]].
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:12&version=NIV Leviticus 19:12]''' "Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD." Most of this article is dedicated to the misuse of God's name.
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:19&version=NIV Leviticus 19:19]''' "Keep my decrees: Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Chris benefits from the science of hybridization daily. Those Chicken McNuggets of which he's ever so fond come from hybrid corn, and you can bet his [[Chris and Fashion|clothes]] aren't a pure weave. And what is [[Sonichu]], if not "mating different kinds of animals": a [[Sonic|hedgehog]] and a [[Pokemon|pikachu]] (itself a hybrid of the mouse and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pika pika])?
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:26&version=NIV Leviticus 19:26]''' "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it. Do not practice divination or sorcery." It's fairly doubtful that Chris keeps kosher about the meat, but more importantly... [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-ye-ha-me-ha!]] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|FORGIVENESS BLESSINGS!]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:27&version=NIV Leviticus 19:27]''' "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]
*'''[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2019:28&version=NIV Leviticus 19:28]''' "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." While Chris has not directly violated this law, he has used tattoos to [[Chris and fashion#The "IBA." outfit|attract the ladies]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss_medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_magic sympathetic magic]. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside but parallel to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[Dreams|dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in the past in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the 'kidnapping' of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're true and honest, you will receive blessings.

Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death. Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and many other magic users are forbidden from doing, and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]]. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his ego|egotistical]], [[Women's Rights|sexist]], [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Fail|failure]].

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Issue 10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. And lo Chris-chan did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger's syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.''

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans. The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is God himself. This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Chris has never had much to say about religious beliefs other than his own, least of all non-Christian beliefs. Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American south, he probably hasn't had much practical exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. [[Vivitheg's_AIM_chat|Vivian Gee]]'s belief in Daoism seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus." The irony here is that it's even harder for Atheists to try and take God and Jesus seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your trolls by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" in [[Mailbag 35]], his response was "Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [Chris uses quotations despite the original question not containing the phrase] [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet."

[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]] reveals that Chris has some awareness of Judaism, probably picked up from watching [[South Park]]. He appears to not understand that Jews or Buddhists don't celebrate [[Christmas]]. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same church or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship but calls them churches because his vocabulary is heavily lacking. In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is a Jew, and uses "Jew" as an insult. [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians.

In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A| article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".

==TL;DR version==

Chris is a terrible Christian and will likely burn in hell.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Foundation Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/godjest.html Buy your own Godjesus T-shirt here.]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Sonijew is back

2010-07-07T15:30:30Z

Jump: /* fan videos */

==New==
Ok, I'm new to CWCki, so give me a break. So I'm a "Newfag", I was just following everyone else's footsteps. Please just give me a link for clear rules for CWCki, or sum them up. Thanks. :D. --[[User:DukeNukem2020|DukeNukem2020]] 16:51, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Well if thats the case, Ill help as much as I can. Im BabyNeko...sorry about the whole faggot thing earlier. My computer was still logged on to cwcki and my sis replied to some shit she shouldnt have...Im REALLY sorry T_T

It's ok BabyNeko, I was just joining the CWC bandwagon. I guess this is much more clean than ED, and I suppose it's taboo to talk bad about Chris chan. lol, just kidding.

Alright. :) Im glad we have that out of the way [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

===You, you! Every damn last one of you! ===
Go back to your own talk pages, YOU DORKS. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 01:33, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

==Nice Work==
Man, you're kicking ass! Keep up the good edits! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 22:34, 23 January 2010 (UTC)
==Gentlemen==
NOW I'M HERE TO FUCK US. Naw, just kidding. YOU DID WELL! [[User:Radiant Price|Radiant Price]] 22:22, 19 February 2010 (UTC)

== Hey buddy ==

Why did you revert the SEGA article to the redirect to Sonic the Hedgehog? It's cool if you don't agree with SEGA having it's own page, but in that case, could you put down arguments on the [[CWCki:Requested Pages]] article, instead of just reverting my edits? I know there wasn't much on the page yet, but I was just starting it off and hoping some people with more knowlege on vidya games would take over. Anyway, my opinion is that having SEGA redirecting to Sonic is a bit weak. Looking forward to hearing your arguments. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 23:55, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

:[[Microsoft]]'s redirecting to Xbox. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:29, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
:That's not really an argument. I think the Microsoft redirect could stay that way, because it plays a far smaller role in Chris's life. Nintendo and Sega are, however, pretty big deals for Chris and they warrant a page of their own. Anyway, discussion goes onto the Requested Pages article, not here, k? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:44, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

No, Chris even did not call for Sega to help him in his struggle against Liquid - but he called for Microsoft (and Nintendo and Sony). It's just Sonic, really. Owning Dremacast means nothing. better make an article for [[God of War]]. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 22:00, 24 May 2010 (UTC)

==Sorry to bother you==
Hey sonijew, i need some help.i'm making the guide to wiki editing and i need to know how do you do redirects. thank you for your time.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:01, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

:You kidding me? Okay, it's the "#R" icon above. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:19, 24 June 2010 (UTC)
:thank you very much. sorry.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 24 June 2010 (UTC)

== I'm taking a cwc break ==

I'be be back when I return. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:35, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

==fan videos==

They don't belong in the middle of an article. Especially when they don't add anything and merely detract from the format. If you'd like, feel free to create a 'fan videos' (or something similar) section with the appropriate infobox.

Kindly fuck off, too. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:24, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

:Show me a rule for this. Also, it stays in [[autism]] for well over a year for example. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:27, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

:: It's been covered in the community portal, only things with actual "historical" value, like Re:Autism, are exempt. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 15:30, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris and music

2010-07-07T15:28:43Z

Jump:

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|This is obviously what music is all about]]

When it comes to '''music''', [[Chris]]'s tastes range from generic pop to generic rock. However, he [[SHE IS MINE NOW|has been seen]] listening to shit he's heard from ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. While some undoubtedly great songs have made their way into the franchise, it is debatable whether Chris actually listens to them for enjoyment, instead of simply posturing.

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his two horrible albums was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and that he's totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

Chris's favorite radio station is [[Wikipedia:WQMZ|Z 95.1]] from Charlottesville, which plays incredibly bland and inoffensive pop music (i.e. what you hear in a doctor's office or a store too cheap to afford Muzak). The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for women."<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on 95.1, and once won a set of tickets to a [[100 2178|sporting event]] through a call-in contest.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her (alleged) musical talent. In his date with [[Emily]], he claims to like Louis Armstrong, but he's never mentioned the man since, so it was probably just an effort to look like a [[Bob|sophisticated jazz-listener]].

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'' game. This adds yet more [[Fat|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3| video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are unaware of (such as the lesser-known ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' series or ''[[American Rabbit]]'') or would not enjoy (such as ''[[Red Skelton]]'', ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' or ''[[Thurston Howell III|Gilligan's Island]]''), Chris has twice referenced Billy Joel's 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated, upbeat mid-'80s pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from killing themselves. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "a lot to live for" and told the fan to go listen to the song.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling."

==Singing==

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how terrible of a singer Chris is. It's also impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront [[Liquid]] via artistic competition, he created the [[SingStar Challenge]], and lost spectacularly.

Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song. This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing [[Sonichu's Zip]], a song that uses "Sonic Drive," the ''Japanese'' theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X'', where the entire song devolves into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech Impediment|voice goes up and down]] with little regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. He barely manages to carry a tune on [[I Got A Fish]], though.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with timing. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often falls behind or rushes ahead of the music he's chosen. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do. For similar reasons, it's very obvious in all of Chris's musical performances that he doesn't really know the words, and usually just mumbles along whenever he doesn't know what's next. The look of dull panic on his face is priceless.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what we can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 28 year old man (who looks like he's 45) showing us his Sonic/Pokémon crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]].

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa Contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result sounds sort of like a Muppet slurring his words together and randomly shouting.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't/So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper/So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This was nothing compared to a [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy!/And you still chicken, you's a dang coward!/You wanna come fight me/Come fight me in person/Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse side project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper with inappropriate affect. During a portion of the video he mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who would rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs. Yeah...

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|Click click click. It's like I'm playing real guitar!]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit. | [[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in [[Brutal Legend Plus|several]] [[Holding Out For a Hero|of]] [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|his]] [[LOOK at the truth!|videos]], Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu|"creations"]] are copies of other things, yet are still [[Chris and Copyright|somehow completely original.]] So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his [[autistic]] mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song. Go ahead and try to wrap your head around this doublethink.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.| Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV, and the most expensive speakers his [[monthly tugboat|boat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone, just like his art.

* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover. (For example, [[wikipedia:Ed Starink|Ed Starink]] made a crapton of decent-to-awesome synthesizer covers of pop songs. ''Yes, even "Never Gonna Give You Up." I'm not kidding, he really did.'')

* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect…who are we kidding.

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free. Many come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Homos

2010-07-07T15:28:09Z

Jump: /* Evidence that Chris is a homo */

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''Chris is the epitome of straightness.''']]

The pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs (amazingly, the latter appears to be some bizarre version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_sensitization covert sensitization] with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|- Matthew 28, [[chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Homos

2010-07-07T15:27:47Z

Jump:

{{quote|Homo males are objectionable, VERY objectionable (I hate them!)
|Chris<ref>[[CWC Update 30 January 2009]]</ref>
}}
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|'''Chris is the epitome of straightness.''']]

The pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie. Note the kid on the left staring at Chris.]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

[[Image:What_Chris_thinks_he_looks_like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag 3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag 4]]</ref> Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his retarded [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using stupid shit such as the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy. His attitude could be explained by one of four possibilities:

# Chris is a heterosexual idiot, so he thinks the slightest thing could turn him gay unless he maintains constant vigilance.
# Chris is a repressed homosexual, so he ''knows'' the slightest thing could turn him gay, because he can barely resist the temptation.
# Chris is bisexual, yet his underdeveloped mind fails to grasp the fact that there's actually such a thing as male bisexuality, so he thinks that people really ''can'' choose their sexual preference, and that giving in to his feelings towards other males will automatically turn him gay.
# Chris is asexual and has no primal instincts attracting him to girls, so he must consciously go out of his way to stay straight and avoid becoming a homo.

We don't yet have enough information to determine which of these is true, and we won't until he kisses a man on the lips (currently scheduled for [[2010]]). Of course we have to consider (because Chris won't) the small point that anyone, gay or straight, man or [[China|woman]], white or [[Niggo|black]], would most likely rather clean his or her genitals with sandpaper than touch Chris.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay (this, despite the fact that women are likely jealous of the fact that men don't have to worry about Chris being attracted to them). He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 02 January 2009, Chris made this statement:
{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"|Chris, 02 January 2009, 11:59}}

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in co-ed prisons with other female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|March 10]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

On 14 June 2009, he created a video called [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from the pilot episode of ''The Boondocks.''

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called "[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]", and insisted that he likes gays who "ac—...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than LBP), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian." He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself. It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but god forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar:<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/</ref>
{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call gay a synonym for stupid.

In the mailbag section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). Chris intended to bring at least two syringes of the solution back, one for [[Reldnahc]], and the other for emergencies (likely to be used on either himself, [[Magi-Chan]], or [[Megagi]]). Thanks to Chris's crippling insecurity about his sexuality, when this storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''Family Guy'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris, <ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links WikiSysop User Talk: The New Ad-Links ]</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, 2009, the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year 2010, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that ''[[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|Avatar]]'' was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts — in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On January 5th, Chris responded a [[mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily. Chris also apparently fails to notice that by having Magi-chan constantly reading people's mind would infringe the most important and basic of human rights: the right of freedom of thinking. He also fails to realize that having Magi-chan scan CWCville for gay thoughts would end in Chris getting arrested due to the fact that he says he has random images of penises appear in his head.

Then, on January 7th, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban of homosexuals in the American Armed Forces. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]".
{{clear}}

==Evidence that Chris is a homo==
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
</center>

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]
[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]
[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies, [[Mailbag 4]]}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: [[rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|Ironically, the harder Chris tries to convince people he's straight, the more gay he appears.]] He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!" every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.

* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.

* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.

* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.

* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.

* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.

*Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat", including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7]]</ref>

*Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9]]</ref>

* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.

* Chris gets upset that people know he has the vibrator and anal beads, and he gets upset that people think he's gay because he kept the vibrator and anal beads... but he never gets upset that the store sent him the vibrator and anal beads in the first place. You would think that if a troll sent him a dildo he'd be throwing a fit about it on [[YouTube]], but no.

* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.

* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."

* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|February 05 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.

* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.

* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|closeup picture of his anus]].

* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].

* He owns a set of [[Anime Wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.

* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.

*He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.

* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the Backstreet Boys, one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song and one cover of a Ricky Martin song. This music was popular among 13 year old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.

* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women.]]

* He implores men to wear [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|muscle bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On braziers|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag 55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.

* He saved a [[No More Jokes|homoerotic image]] to his computer, and then made a series of movies about it.

* When you look up "'''Homosexuality'''" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).

* In addition, the article for Homosexuality was created August 8th, 2009. The article for [[Rosechu|Rosechu]], a major character in his comics, wouldn't be created until 6 months later.

* In the [[PS3 History Level|PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of ''Sex and the City: The Movie'' (which has a huge gay following) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.

* While narrating the [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] Chris called PandaHalo his "partner," a term sometimes used by gays and lesbians to refer to the person they're dating.

* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves tossing them into a garbage bin inside him, lest the gay gene take its toll.

* Chris reacts to Alec Benson Leary's [[Asperchu]] comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.

* In [[Sonichu 10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.

{{clear}}

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off his temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''Playboy'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs (amazingly, the latter appears to be some bizarre version of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_sensitization covert sensitization] with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment).<ref>[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag 3]]</ref> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]]</ref>

In [[Kill De Jack]], Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's Playboy magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires.]]

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|- Matthew 28, [[chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read nor wouldn't care to read]].}}

{{clear}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

*''"I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"''<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>

*''"I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>

*''"I'm straight, don't doubt me!"'''<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>

*''"Listen, as hard as you fucking can, [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|I CAME OUT OF MY]] AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."'''<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

*''"Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>

*''"Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it."''<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>

*''"And look at me. Do I look like-- [shakes head in disagreement] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty, SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"''<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC(Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-Chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-Chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Homos]]

Sweetheart

2010-07-07T15:27:30Z

Jump: BECAUSE EVERYONE LIKE VIDEOS AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE RITE RITE

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|Potential sweethearts surrounding Chris. Note: this never happened.]]

'''Sweetheart''' (which is something Chris will never have, save [[Mass Debating|Rosey Palm and her five sisters]]) is [[Chris]]'s term for his true love ("'''heartsweet'''" is also used in the comics). His goal is to build a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]] to give birth to his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after the illustrious metal and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]).

Providing Chris with a sweetheart who is really a [[troll]] has been a sport for trolls for some time now. With the exception of [[Julie]] and [[Sarah May]], none of the trolls have revealed themselves. Some argue that this is because being a sweetheart to Chris is sort of like Stockholm syndrome, leading trolls such as [[Blanca]] and [[Panda]] to identify and sympathize with their captor.

Chris has absolutely no interest in a girl's personality, skills, individual interests or intelligence, but is very strict in his insistence that a sweetheart MUST be cute, younger than him, white, and possess other such completely superficial qualities. He will always say that his life goal is having a "Cute Girl" as his sweetheart. And yet he constantly considers himself a strong advocate of [[Women's Rights]].

==Qualifications for becoming a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart of Chris==
Chris originally spelled out what he requires of a sweetheart in the early days of his Love Quest, using media such as the [[Attraction Sign]] and his [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter. Recurring traits include:
* MUST be [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]. ''(can't emphasize that enough!)'' [[Kacey|However, not even they are totally safe from Chris.]]
* MUST be 18 - (Chris's current age).
* MUST be white (NO [[Niggo|DARKIES]] - unless it's [[Fuck_Quest|just for sex]], in which case [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg | Chris is fine with niggos]]).
:*In [[IRC_(17_December_2008)|an IRC chat]], Chris clarified that Asians, Arabs and anybody but niggos are fair game.
* MUST have a [[car]].
* MUST not be a mother.
* MUST be a [[tobacky|non-smoker]]
* MUST have a mid to high salary.
* MUST live within 30 miles of the [[Ruckersville]] area.
* MUST NOT be a [[Jerkop|cop]].
* MUST NOT have [[autism]].
* MUST NOT be a [[BlueSpike|man]].
*<strike> IRISH need NOT apply.</strike> Irish are alright, as long as they're not darkies.

[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]

Unfortunately, Chris has yet to realize that [[monthly tugboat|beggars]] cannot be choosers. However, If you fit all of the criteria and are into [[obesity|overweight]], [[chris_and_sex|freakish]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|perverse]] [[Sonichu_(comic)|man-children]], then God help you!

Throughout the ages, Chris has lowered his standards slightly. For instance, Chris's original list of requirements stipulated NO FATTIES, but he later made an exception for [[Sarah Jackson]]. Likewise, Chris disapproved of redheads but made an exception for [[Ivy]]. While he may still insist on "non-black" women as his sweethearts, an [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] surfaced September 2009, showing us that Chris does not have problems fingering [[Niggo|niggos]].

The most noticeable deviation is from his original requirement that women approach him in person as opposed to by phone or e-mail. Following a wave of e-mails and other online communications from [[trolls|women]] wanting to be his e-girlfriend, Chris rapidly changed his tune. Ironically, this was the wisest standard he had set, as adhering to it would have saved him a good deal of grief from trollings.

Despite [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|having said that]] girls should go after poorer, less attractive guys because "they will likely have a better personality", Chris doesn't seem to think that the same applies for the opposite gender. He still insists his sweetheart must be physically attractive and well-off enough to financially support him.

In May 2009, when he started to embark on his abortive "[[fuck quest]]", Chris temporarily returned to seeking only in-person encounters. (He insisted that women find him "by chance", essentially requiring that they wander around [[Charlottesville]] until they found him.) Soon enough, however, he returned to pursuing women by way of the internet, with [[Kacey|predictable results]].

==See also==
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

User talk:Sonijew is back

2010-07-07T15:24:10Z

Jump:

Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T14:23:01Z

Jump:

{{Needs Images}}

'''Chris's birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizzare inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new vidya, to wanting his birthday to be a national holiday) warrants some inspection.

==Notable Birthdays==

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, [[Chris]] got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===

Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===

Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities. [[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the [[homo]] vaccine in [[Sonichu 10]] is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

=="Christian Love Day"==

Now, most see their personal of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentines Day, only for [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|Chris wills it]] and it's also Mexican flag day. Chris then provided no details on how to celebrate and didn't put any effort into garnering publicity, except for one [[Christian Love Day| lone video.]]

Now, in [[Sonichu (comic)| Sonichu]], the holiday gains slightly more credence, if some disturbing moral stipulations. The [[Sonichu 10| homo vaccine]] "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, the and ego). Chris either this his comic is so widely known that the date of it's denounment is nationally recognized, or he [[Reality| has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

==April 24th is also...==

*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dominican Republic broke out in Civil War, 1965.

{{stub}}

Chris and music

2010-07-07T13:56:11Z

Jump: /* Singing */ as much as i love liquid, no

Chris and music

2010-07-07T13:55:10Z

Jump: /* Musical tastes */ i deny your shitty videos!

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|This is obviously what music is all about]]

When it comes to '''music''', [[Chris]]'s tastes range from generic pop to generic rock. However, he [[SHE IS MINE NOW|has been seen]] listening to shit he's heard from ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. While some undoubtedly great songs have made their way into the franchise, it is debatable whether Chris actually listens to them for enjoyment, instead of simply posturing.

==Musical tastes==
Chris has often cited that he likes "All popular music." While it's possible that he's just giving that answer to appear cool and easygoing, he really does seem to try to listen to whatever popular opinion tells him is good. Almost every song on either of his two horrible albums was a top 40 hit at one point or another. Additionally, in a few of his [[Mumble]] chats, Chris left his radio on for the whole conversation. This means that he both enjoys the background music, and that he's totally inconsiderate to the other people in the chat.

Chris's favorite radio station is [[Wikipedia:WQMZ|Z 95.1]] from Charlottesville, which plays incredibly bland and inoffensive pop music (i.e. what you hear in a doctor's office or a store too cheap to afford Muzak). The station bills its offerings as "today's hits and yesterday's favorites, music for women."<ref>[http://www.z95.net Z95.1 homepage]</ref> Chris listens to the [[John Tesh]] radio show on 95.1, and once won a set of tickets to a [[100 2178|sporting event]] through a call-in contest.

The only artist Chris seems to really idolize is [[Britney Spears]]. There is virtually no doubt that this is more because she's hot than because he appreciates her (alleged) musical talent. In his date with [[Emily]], he claims to like Louis Armstrong, but he's never mentioned the man since, so it was probably just an effort to look like a [[Bob|sophisticated jazz-listener]].

If his Rhapsody account (seen below) is any indication, almost everything Chris listens to has been in a ''Guitar Hero'' game. This adds yet more [[Fat|weight]] to the theory that Chris is spoon-fed pop culture from [[PS3| video games]] and ''[[Family Guy]]''.

Also, keeping with the theme of liking things that most people his age are unaware of (such as the lesser-known ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' series or ''[[American Rabbit]]'') or would not enjoy (such as ''[[Red Skelton]]'', ''[[I Love Lucy]]'' or ''[[Thurston Howell III|Gilligan's Island]]''), Chris has twice referenced Billy Joel's 1985 track "[[Wikipedia:You're Only Human (Second Wind)|You're Only Human (Second Wind)]]," an extremely dated, upbeat mid-'80s pop song written specifically to stop teenagers from killing themselves. To date, Chris has referenced the song in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|YouTube video]] where he says [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shitting your pants]] from [[stress]] isn't a big deal, and again when [[Mailbag 6|asked]] by a fan whether he'd ever had thoughts of suicide. Chris replied, with no elaboration, that he had "a lot to live for" and told the fan to go listen to the song.

==YouTube background music==
Towards the fall of 2009, Chris began to include popular songs as background music in a number of his [[YouTube]] videos. Some videos, such as [[SHE IS MINE NOW]], featured [[Wikipedia:Aerosmith|Aerosmith]] in the background, possibly in a sad attempt to appear intimidating and hardcore. For [[30 Push-Ups|videos]] showing off his [[I AM STRONG|athletic prowess]], Chris favored "[[Wikipedia:Eye of the Tiger|Eye of the Tiger]]" by Survivor. In light of Chris's virulent hatred of [[homos]], this is a somewhat ironic choice, given the extraordinarily homoerotic overtones of both the training sequences in ''Rocky III'' and Survivor's own music video for the song. For [[For Kacey from CWC|videos]] intended to express his heartfelt love for [[Kacey]], Chris employed REO Speedwagon's power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling."

==Singing==
<center>
{{#ev:youtube|sKSsYwsZFR8}}
</center>

{{Quote|...and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor.|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls#Introduction|being sadly mistaken]].}}

[[Image:CWCGUITARHERO.jpg|thumb|right|"You've seen life through distorted eyes,
 You know you had to learn,
 The execution of your mind,
 You really had to turn"]]

It is impossible to overstate how terrible of a singer Chris is. It's also impossible to overstate [[Chris and reality|how deluded Chris is]] about his ability to sing. He's so deluded, in fact, when trying to confront [[Liquid]] via artistic competition, he created the [[SingStar Challenge]], and lost spectacularly.

Chris's voice is unusually high-pitched, and often louder than appropriate. He also tends to speak in an [[Autism|odd, emotionless monotone]]. These issues with his voice become even more obvious when he tries to sing. In both his [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] albums, he doesn't actually "sing" so much as desperately yell over the track in an attempt to drown out the actual words of the song. This is painfully obvious when he attempts to sing [[Sonichu's Zip]], a song that uses "Sonic Drive," the ''Japanese'' theme song of the anime ''[[Sonic]] X'', where the entire song devolves into screaming gibberish. When he does try to actually vary his voice away from the standard monotone, it becomes very obvious that Chris is almost completely tone-deaf. His [[Speech Impediment|voice goes up and down]] with little regard to the background music, or even the original artist he's shouting over. He barely manages to carry a tune on [[I Got A Fish]], though.

Chris also has a lot of trouble with timing. While the songs he's written usually do a pretty good job matching the originals, Chris often falls behind or rushes ahead of the music he's chosen. This could probably be avoided if he took the time to practice, but practice would be work, and work is something Chris just doesn't do. For similar reasons, it's very obvious in all of Chris's musical performances that he doesn't really know the words, and usually just mumbles along whenever he doesn't know what's next. The look of dull panic on his face is priceless.

===A capella===
In the [[Official Videobooks]], Chris will occasionally break out into ''a capella'' renditions of what we can only assume is supposed to be Sonichu's theme music. These bizarre freestyle musical interludes drive home exactly how childish Chris is. There's something uniquely terrifying about a 28 year old man (who looks like he's 45) showing us his Sonic/Pokémon crossover and shouting "dun dun dun." Chris also occasionally does this in his normal videos. He also performed a poor rendition of "The Final Countdown" while showing us that he can still [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|pick up a chair]].

Despite his frequent use of this vocal technique, Chris clearly doesn't understand the full meaning of the word. During the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest]], a frequent source of [[rage]] from Chris was the "music" in the background of [[Adam Stackhouse]]'s video. However, since the music was simple beatboxing, it would be considered ''a capella'' by most.

===Rap===
With the success of artists like [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] and [[Wikipedia:Jedi Mind Tricks|Jedi Mind Tricks]], plus the odd continued existence of [[Wikipedia:Nerdcore|nerdcore]], white guys rapping on [[YouTube]] is not unheard of. [[CChanSonichuCWC|Some of these individuals]] demonstrate impressive [[SHE IS MINE NOW#MC CWC responds|talent]] in their ability to flow on a beat. Christian is not among them.

Of course, his most notable foray into rap is his entry for the PaRappa Contest. While his motivations and the drama it caused are covered extensively in that article, the video itself is characterized by a complete lack of rhythm or flow. The result sounds sort of like a Muppet slurring his words together and randomly shouting.

Before he starts the song in earnest, Chris does a little bit of freestyling in the beginning. Needless to say, it's not promising:

{{Quote|I have a [[PSP]] and she don't/So give me the PSP, unwrap the wrapper/So I can give one to her, and then we can play together!|Chris, almost rhyming.}}

This was nothing compared to a [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW#Video|later foray]] into the genre. Playing Aerosmith in the background instead of a breakbeat, Chris basically just shouts a lot of random short sentences with no regard as to how they flow, or if they even rhyme at all.

{{Quote|You just a dang dummy!/And you still chicken, you's a dang coward!/You wanna come fight me/Come fight me in person/Come out from behind the camera you fool|Chris, "rapping"}}

In [[December 2009]], Chris would [[Hello, Juffalo|rap once again]] to Insane Clown Posse side project [[Wikipedia:Dark Lotus|Dark Lotus]]. As usual, he made no attempt to learn the lyrics and appears to be reading them off a piece of paper with inappropriate affect. During a portion of the video he mumbles to himself, rocking back and forth and fondling his ample breasts not once, but twice. He also refers to himself as a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Juffalo ''Juffalo''], a term apparently used by Insane Clown Posse aficionados to describe the noncommittal poseurs who aren't good enough to fully appreciate the world of clown-related rap.

Two days prior to this he made another [[IPods Down and Listen Up|awful freestyle rap]]. The point of this is unclear, although he apparently visited a doctor, who suggested that he take over-the-counter vitamins. He likens the effects of these vitamins to Viagra, and then compares himself to a tiger who would rape a panther to produce tiger-panther cubs. Yeah...

==Instruments==

[[Image:CWCGitarPlaying2.jpg|thumb|Click click click. It's like I'm playing real guitar!]]

{{quote|I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores, scored better, real play for my benefit. | [[Blanca]], acting as a proxy for Chris to espouse his flawed beliefs on music}}

Chris seems to have a very tenuous grasp on what constitutes a musical instrument. Notably, in [[Brutal Legend Plus|several]] [[Holding Out For a Hero|of]] [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who|his]] [[LOOK at the truth!|videos]], Chris tends to treat his [[Gitar of Fail]] like it's a real instrument. This seems outright foolish, even for Chris, until you consider his mindset. All of Chris's [[Sonichu|"creations"]] are copies of other things, yet are still [[Chris and Copyright|somehow completely original.]] So by "playing" someone else's song on ''Guitar Hero'', his [[autistic]] mindset dictates that he is actually playing the song. Go ahead and try to wrap your head around this doublethink.

As further proof of his madness, Chris equated Liquid's actual musical skill to him playing ''Guitar Hero'', to such a degree that he felt it necessary to outlaw both in the [[SingStar Challenge]].

{{quote|-NO MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, real or Guitar Hero/Rock Band/Rock Revolution, etc is to be visible in ANY VIDEO.| Chris, inspiring the hatred of people who like music everywhere}}

==Recording tech==
Chris's idea of accompaniment is putting the original song playing on the background using his [[PS3]] and the near-$1,000 [[Sony]] LCD HDTV, and the most expensive speakers his [[monthly tugboat|boat]] could tug in, while he sings with his unique voice. The singing, of course, is dutifully recorded with the long-suffering [[PSEye]] camera. The implications are staggering:

* There's always a huge quality loss when music is played on speaker and then re-recorded from a distance, because the acoustics of the room distort the sound and the air itself blocks low and high frequencies, leaving you with only a distorted fraction of the original sound. Chris, of course, believes that everything he does is perfect on the first try and never has to be redone, just like his art.

* The original lyrics are still on the song. At least on one occasion, Chris even screwed up harder than this, and got a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" from ''Family Guy'', clobbered by dialogue and other sounds.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008]]</ref> While lyrics often can't always be removed from a mixed song entirely, it's at least worth a shot trying lyrics removal software. Or, it might pay to look for an instrumental version or an instrumental cover. (For example, [[wikipedia:Ed Starink|Ed Starink]] made a crapton of decent-to-awesome synthesizer covers of pop songs. ''Yes, even "Never Gonna Give You Up." I'm not kidding, he really did.'')

* When you have one go and one microphone to record everything, there's no way to correct the errors if you flub anything. The result is obviously perfect…who are we kidding.

Chris is, of course, unaware of the incredible leaps and bounds that music recording has advanced in recent years, and hasn't noticed that there are plenty of good multitrack sound editors available for free. Many come with lyrics removal plugins.

Chris also demands this sort of weird screwy setup from ''others''; one might assume, for example, that the Brown-Striped One, with actual musical talent, would have more technical know-how on how to record music properly, but the SingStar Challenge was done on Chris's strange terms.

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)]]
*[[Gitar of Fail]]
*''[[Guitar Hero]]''
*[[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?j3wnmyzctwn A list of Chris's MyCokeRewards Rhapsody purchases] (Note that those within "index[[Clyde Cash|GREGG]]bought.html" were, obviously, purchased by trolls who had hijacked the account.)

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Pickle

2010-07-07T03:55:47Z

Jump: /* References to pickles */

{{Honest}}
[[Image:Chrisreply3.PNG|center]]

{{quote|[[stress sigh|[sigh]]] Can we not talk about pickles, please?|[[Chris]] - [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]]}}
[[Image:201-SchuAqua.jpg|thumb|Pickles are Sonichu's greatest enemy. Also, look at how Chris spells Sbarro.]]

'''Pickle''' is one of [[Chris]]'s euphemisms for "penis," typically in the context of a penis other than his own. (His own penis is usually referred to as his [[duck]].) He and [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] (because he's a Mary Sue) both hate penises due to Chris's intense [[Chris and Sex|sexual]] [[homos|insecurity]], to the point that they both literally hate pickled cucumbers.

He is easily provoked by fan art suggesting that [[Rosechu]] has a pickle, although it is difficult for him to retaliate since that would require him to actually look at the dreaded vegetable.

Coincidentally, one of Chris's most notorious enemies is the "[[Man in the Pickle Suit]]" who has frequently tricked him into, among other things, releasing photos of his own pickle.

Possibly due to trollish usage of the term, Chris made fewer references to pickles in [[2009]] and even fewer afterward, though he still occasionally referred to his picklephobia in works such as [[Sonichu Special 1]].
==Pickled cucumbers==
[[Image:Nnocac.jpg|thumb|When you see it you'll shit bricks.]]

{{quote|They taste terrible, and they look like dicks; even more disgusting.|Chris, answering a troll's email regarding pickles<ref>[[Mailbag 4#Why Chris hates Pickles]]</ref>}}
Aside from his hatred of metaphorical pickles, it is also well documented that Christian has a long-standing aversion to the delicious cucumbers pickled in brine, going as far back to some of the earlier material documented in his [[scrapbook]]. Receipts from his trip to Ohio in search of [[Julie]] show that he specifically orders his fast-food hamburgers without pickles. Even the mere image of a pickle bothers him — the picklish ad banners placed on the [[CWCipedia]] in November 2009 provoked an angry response.

Whether this is because pickles remind him, even when sliced and under the bun of a sandwich, of cocks, or whether he simply has an aversion to foods with a strong taste or smell, remains to be seen. Considering his [[Chris and Health#Nutrition|diet]], pickles may simply be too much flavor for a man who has notoriously [[Family Guy|bland]] tastes to handle. [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|Hmm, maybe not...]]
{{clear}}

==References to pickles==
[[Image:Rosechupickels.jpg|thumb|Rosechu brutally face-rapes [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] afterward... for throwing a pickle.]]
[[Image:Picklecat.png|thumb|left|IF I SEE ONE MORE FRICKIN' PICKLE...]]
Chris's virulent hatred of pickles was one of the first weaknesses discovered by [[trolls]], all the way back in the fall of 2007. When the 4chan artist [[Evan]] contacted Chris with a collection of "fan art" drawn by denizens of /v/ — in which, 4chan being 4chan, images of Rosechu with a penis figured prominently — Chris memorably replied "Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!!"

Since then, Chris has made a number of references to pickles in his comics and YouTube videos, partly on his own and partly due to trollish instigation.

* In his [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video, Chris makes several references to pickles, albeit in the context of his enemy, the Man in the Pickle Suit.
* He also blamed the Pickle Man for his woes in his video of [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|October 21 2008]].
* Towards the end of 2008, when Chris still believed that the #sonichu IRC channel was home to his TRUE and LOYAL fanbase, the channel was set up at his behest to kick any chatters who used the word "pickle."
* The "slander ray" wielded by the comic-book [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Sonichu Special 1]] resembles a pickle with a gun barrel attached to one end.
* Chris's nemesis, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], in [[Sonichu 8]], declares "Go and play with your pickle!" before throwing a pickle at Rosechu. Her response is unwarranted to say the least.
* Sonichu himself has hated pickles since as far back as [[Sonichu 0]], drawn long before Chris was ever trolled through his fear of pickles. There, our hero was frozen with terror after encountering pickles while dining with Rosechu at "Burger Krunch." The panel where this took place was later re-drawn as the "Sonichu & Aqua Teens" illustration.
{{clear}}
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
[[Image:164889-ogorki.jpg|thumb|Picklechu]]

* [[Chris and Sex]]
* [[China]]
* [[Comeuppance]]
* [[Duck]]
* [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]
* [[Mass Debate]]
* [[Masturbating and squirtin']]

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

User:Jump

2010-07-07T03:51:52Z

Jump:

{{OperationMailbag}} {{Baha'i}}

'''note: i'm not great at doing things of my own volition. ask me to do stuff.'''

Talk:Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T03:49:55Z

Jump: /* To do */

==To do==
Sorta like [[Christmas]], except with his birthday. I swore we already had a page on this and if we do, someone point it out to me because then the naming is not intuitive.

*discuss how this plays with Chris's ego ('''briefly''')
*how Chris celebrated his various birthdays
*times his birthday pops up in the Sonichu canon
*Christian Love Day

And whatever else people think up of. Categorize this shit too. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

I did some wrting. It needs images and more indepth stuff. If noone does it, i'll write up something on his stupid love day tommorrow. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:49, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T03:47:31Z

Jump: /* April 24th is also... */ i can spell i swear

{{Needs Images}}

'''Chris's birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons.

==Notable Birthdays==

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, [[Chris]] got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Keane & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegely Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===

Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===

Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities.+[[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the [[homo]] vaccine in [[Sonichu 10]] is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

==April 24th is also...==

*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dominican Republic broke out in Civil War, 1965.

{{stub}}

Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T03:45:24Z

Jump: preview fail/500 error fail

{{Needs Images}}

'''Chris's birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons.

==Notable Birthdays==

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, [[Chris]] got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Keane & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegely Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===

Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===

Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities.+[[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the [[homo]] vaccine in [[Sonichu 10]] is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

==April 24th is also...==

*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dminic Republic broke out in Civil War, 1965.

{{stub}}

Chris's birthday

2010-07-07T03:44:08Z

Jump: expanded, needs images

{{Needs Image}}

'''Chris's birthday,''' the 24th of February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons.

==Notable Birthdays==

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, [[Chris]] got a Sega Dreamcast. Now, he did have something of a party, in the same way small children do, namely, with some thrown together decor, last minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]]. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Keane & Kel'' and some cake. Interestingly, this was allegely Chris's best birthday ever, of such tantamount importance he decided to record it in his "[[My big 18th party]]" story.

===21st===

Now, if that was Chris's best, this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[English]] class at the [[PVCC]] by his professor. Chris alleges his professor didn't understand [[autism]], while he later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]], Chris's enduring search for someone that will put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity.

===27th===

Not much is known other than Chris's [[Aunt Corina]] was buried on his birthday, undoubtedly casting a shadow on the festivities.+[[Chris and death|He didn't seem too bugged though]]. Oh, and it was Shrove Tuesday, so the pancakes probably helped ease the guilt.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!" | Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the [[homo]] vaccine in [[Sonichu 10]] is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

==April 24th is also...==

*Ironically, Genocide Remembrance Day, commemorating the Armenian Genocide of 1915.
*The day the Nazi Party was founded.
*The day Roy Jenson died.
*The day the Dminic Republic broke out in Civil War, 1965.

{{stub}}

Chris and death

2010-07-07T03:25:53Z

Jump: get out

[[Image:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Rest in peace?]]
'''Death''' stalks [[Chris]] at every turn, and as a result he has a hard time understanding and/or coping with death, be it the death of a human or an [[Patti Chandler|animal]], or even a [[Simonla Rosechu|fictional character]].

His poor reactions to death most likely come from Chris's lack of empathy, and his incredibly underdeveloped mind. Kids often don't understand death until they're quite old, around 10-12 years; before that, they usually just think it's "like sleeping forever" or "just leaving." Chris, being a 3-year-old inside, can only resort to these clumsy analogies to sort of understand death; he even has a habit of appealing to dead people to "come back."<ref>[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts#A history (6:02 to 9:34)]]: "Patti, I miss you. Come home."</ref><ref>[[:Image:SchuComic9P31.jpg]]: "Dedicated to Mr. Billy Mays II; Please Come Back Soon."</ref>

It could be that the only shows that Chris watched that dealt with death in any way had plot devices to facilitate the return of the departed. Chris, who is unable to connect cause with effect and considers behaviors from fiction to be interchangeable with reality, may simply assume that the dead can come back whenever they want.

Here are the departed souls, in order from earliest to latest:

==Deaths==
===Every single victim of the World Trade Center attacks (19XX-2001)===
In the [[Twin Falling Towers]] video of the first of [[November 2009]], Chris makes fun of [[Clyde]] and says that he is as weak as the Twin Towers. He then shows the mouse cursor crashing into the buildings, complete with sound effects. This has shocked many, including somebody who lost a loved one in the attacks<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M]</ref> and this could possibly be the lowest that Chris has ever gone.

===[[Patti Chandler]] (1988-2006)===
Patti was Chris's dog, and she died in June 2006. Chris [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/User:AZT-13/Chris-chan_Emails_Part_IV apparently drew a picture of a crying Sonichu face] on the signature confirming the euthanasia process. As seen in the image used in this article, [[Patti-Chan|Patti also appeared in the comic, immortalized as an anthro]]. This is particularly disturbing in that Chris has apparently decided to deny his dog the afterlife that he presumably believes in, in favor of locking her in his own [[CWCville|personal hell]], in which she will only exist when he can be bothered to draw her. Effectively, he's stolen and erased her soul.

To Chris, her death is the greatest tragedy of his life, which he often compares to the deaths of other people's family members and loved ones. Not surprisingly, every single person he has said this to has become horribly offended, yet he continues to use this example.

Oddly enough, Patti may have been the only being Chris ever cared about. Supporting this is a report that Chris periodically broke down in tears for as many as six months after her death.{{cite}} By comparison, the "death" of any [[Troll|Sweetheart]] will result in a day of mourning if they are lucky.

===RocketFox's Dad (1966-2008)===
RocketFox's Dad used to be an [[alcohol]]ic, but recovered and stayed sober for ten years. However, his liver failed and he passed away in mid-October 2008. When RocketFox asked Chris for advice on how to cope, Chris considered it an "accident" and went on a spiel about how bad alcohol was.<ref>[[IRC (16 October 2008)]]</ref> This is actually the first death during the [[troll]]ing, and it was mentioned to Chris to see how he would react to such news, and as mentioned, Chris did so poorly. [[Ryan]]'s death and Chris's reaction cemented this. About eight months later, Chris [[Chris's Big Night Out|became a huge hypocrite]]...

===[[Sarah Jackson]] (1981-2008)===
A former [[Sweetheart|heartsweet]] of Chris (and Decepticon) who was killed in a <s>car crash</s> carefully executed plan by [[Optimus Prime]]. SPOILERS: A [[troll]]. Sarah Jackson, like Patti, was used in his comic for a while as "Ms. Jackaras" in [[Sonichu 9]]. Unlike Patti, Ms. Jackaras gets the same fate as her non-comic counterpart, and is replaced by her sister, who continues the lesson anyway. None of the Sonichu characters mourn the loss of their professor. Sound like [[Chris|someone]]?

===[[Ryan Cash]] (1996-2008)===
Ryan was [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]]'s brother who was a huge fan of [[Sonichu]]. After the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] were delayed over and over, Ryan fell into a depression and committed suicide. [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|Chris, of course, reacted to this in an inconsiderate manner, telling Clyde and his family to "just move on", and marveling at his power to incite suicide.]]

===[[PandaHalo]]===
Despite her being thousands of kilometers away from the bushfires, Chris assumed PandaHalo was dead. She is actually alive and kicking but Chris still doesn't know this. Two days after her "death," he went to find another [[sweetheart]] to [[Mass debating|mass debate]] to, saying "It's OK though, at least I have a [[Julie|good woman]] who's willing to be by my side at this point."<ref>[[Mumble 7#Summary]]</ref> This flagrant disrespect shouldn't surprise anyone because Chris is a self-centered asshole. This saga ''further'' proved that Chris has no sense of empathy or respect for the dead.

Nine months later, [[Sonichu 9]] featured a special "memorial" to PandaHalo and a sequence in which she dies (off-screen) in a building fire after saving her "Pokemon", [[Chloe Rosechu]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu]], so they wouldn't "burn with" her. Apparently, Chris didn't feel like he needed to honor the life of his beloved [[sweetheart]] and instead depicted her horrible, fiery death. He also has to mention that she "burned," which shows how he doesn't realize how painful and awful it would be to die in a fire. It's also not a term that anyone would use to describe the death of a loved one, providing more evidence of how little he actually cared about her. Because it took nine months to "honor" her death, he most likely decided he needed more god-awful characters for his shitty comic, was too lazy to create a new recolor and chose to use Chloe and BlazeBob, thus reminding him of PandaHalo, who he had likely forgotten, and made him decide to feature a memorial to her.

More recently, Chris "dedicated" all of [[Sonichu 10]] to PandaHalo's memory. This would be almost touching, if the alleged dedication didn't wholly consist of how awesome Chris was for using Panda's cover artwork. And then there's the issue of Sonichu 10 largely consisting of Chris murdering everybody he dislikes...

===[[Sarah May]]===
After being called "[[Julie]]" multiple times, Sarah May [[Troll|attempted suicide]] over [[Mumble_8|Mumble]]. Immediately after she went offline, rather than express any concern or try to find a way to stop her, Chris told Julie (who was also in the chat), "I still have you," with a completely emotionless "oh well" attitude. Julie was playing along with Chris, and did not react to Sarah's suicide attempt in any human-like fashion either; yet, it did not occur to Chris that Julie's behavior was ''in any way'' unnatural. Chris then made an [[CWC Shout Out to Sarah May|immature shout-out to her on a YouTube video]], with tears faker than all his [[sweetheart]]s combined. His reason for her to hold on? Because he'd be so sad without her. While mentioning the feelings of friends and families despair is typical in suicide prevention, Chris did it in such a selfish way, only thinking of how ''he'd'' feel, not how ''her'' family and friends would feel, that it was just full of [[fail]] and [[Chris and His Ego|narcissism]].

===[[Aunt Corrina]] (1936-2009)===
Chris's aunt Corrina had her funeral on Chris's birthday, which was also Shrove Tuesday, a Christian holiday that involves eating pancakes.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrove_Tuesday</ref> Needless to say, [[White knight#Chris cares only for himself|Chris cared more about the pancakes than the funeral of his own aunt]]. Patti was also obtained from her (see the e-mail link above).

When the "I know how to be sad because my dog died" excuse fails, Chris usually follows up with an offhand mention of his Aunt Corrina. If that fails the deaths of his many sweethearts tends to follow, although any normal human would bring those up first and the dog would be lucky to get a mention at all.

===[[Clyde Cash]] (1976-<s>2009</s>)===
In early 2009, Christian once seemed to be aware that Clyde Cash was supposedly dead, but cast a slight bit of doubt over the idea. Regardless, he [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] Clyde in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009]], just in case. He's back.

===[[BILLY MAYS]] (1958-2009)===
In the video [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]], Chris only seems to be upset over people blaming him for Mays's death, and loudly denies that he was ever the mayor of [[CWCville]]. He doesn't even offer his condolences to Mays' family. Down the line, Chris selfishly adopts the idea that Mays was in fact his bodyguard and he died protecting Chris. He goes even further by stating that he was also his identical body double and "without the beard we'd look the same". At least he's admitting that he's overweight.

In [[Sonichu 9]], Chris slaps in a one-page intro with Billy saying that he was never was the mayor, but was part of Chris's group. At the bottom was a message from Chris, asking him to "come back soon". Ninety pages later, we find out that Billy had seemed to die falling down an elevator shaft, attempting to free Ivy from HER gruesome death. The next issue, however, had him appear alive and well, trapped like [[Patti-Chan|Patti Chan]] in his own personal Hell of CWCville.

===[[Ivy]] (1992-2009)===
Former [[troll|sweetheart]] Ivy committed suicide after not being allowed to see Chris. Chris uploaded the [[CWC "Boyfriend"]] video as a memorial. Yes, a poorly sung remake of Avril Lavigne's happy, bouncy pop/punk song, with lyrics changed to be about how much Chris would like women to date him. Unless the original was somehow Ivy's favorite song, this is just short of "Another One Bites the Dust" as one of the worst possible songs one can dedicate to a recently deceased loved one. Chris included pictures of several past sweethearts in the video, making it less of a tribute to Ivy and more of a monument to Chris's [[fail]].

Furthermore, as is unquestionably appropriate, Ivy's tragic demise was incorporated into [[Sonichu 9|Issue 9]] of the comic. Rather than admit to having a hand in her suicide, Chris conjures up a magnificently gruesome accidental death, which involved having gotten her neck broken with elevator wires after falling through the elevator floor. Although this is a particularly troubling manipulation of what really happened, Chris more than makes up for it with gravitas; he gracefully, albeit belatedly, offers a tiny orange box in memory to Ivy 'O'Niel', taking pride of place underneath a backshot of Slaweel and some weird faux-Transformers actions. All of the above shows the leaps and bounds Chris has made in his appropriate handling of tragic deaths.

When confronted about this insanity in the [[Mailbag]], Chris got quite indignant, demanding to know what the questioner thought he should have done, since Ivy had died in real life and could no longer serve as Chris's [[GodJesus|God-given sweetheart]]. Why he felt the need to make her death in the series gruesomely similar to her real-life suicide is a question for the ages. It's not clear whether it had ever crossed Chris's mind to keep this horrific death out of the pages of what is supposedly a comic aimed at children, or to let Ivy's character live on in CWCville like he had done for [[Patti Chan]] and [[BILLY MAYS]].

==="Mary Jo"===
In a [[Mailbag 27#Love and loss| recent mailbag]], Chris was asked by a troubled [[troll|fan]] what he should do after the death of his beloved Mary Jo.

{{quote|Mary Jo is gone (I feel for you), but you should move on and try to find another woman who will treat you about as good, or possibly better than, her. Suck it up, and move on like a Man would. I tell you as a Man who had to do the same thing a few times in the past too.| Chris, being super-sensitive.}}

Chris clearly states how he believes a death should be approached by a man (which includes finding another [[sweetheart|woman]] right away and a specific lack of grieving), and tells the traumatized fan that he should simply move onto a better woman since his girlfriend's death, not only being completely asinine, but also outlining that he believes women to be [[women's rights|replaceable and possibly interchangeable]].
[[Image:RIP mike.JPG|thumb|The obituary that Chris didn't even bother to read.]]

===Mike Jackson (1969-2010)===

Throughout [[January 2010]], a man named Mike Jackson sent Chris a series of friendly letters [[Mailbag 31#If your kids are 16 or 17, you should watch porn with them|asking]] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris advises a father to buy his son whores|for]] [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris refers to a man buying his underage son a whore as "good news"|advice]], and then [[Mailbag 45#Adventures with whores|begging]] for [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|help]] after Chris's amazingly bad advice completely ruined his life. Chris, caring soul that he is, promised the absolute minimum amount of effort (a [[YouTube]] video) and then never made good on his word.

Distraught over Chris's total lack of action, and terrified at the risk of having his family torn to pieces, Mike [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|died from a sleeping pill overdose]]. Mike's grieving widow generously decided to let Chris view the private obituary page set up for friends and family of the deceased, saying that Mike would have wanted her to treat Chris with respect and decency.

Chris responded to the news of Mike's death with the same copy-pasted bullshit he used to pretend he was listening to criticism. The two infamous sentences made no sense in context and demonstrated beyond the shadow of a doubt that Chris could not care less about Mike's tragic death. It was revealed in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]] that Chris didn't even view Mike's obituary page, and his [[Mailbag 56#In which Chris isn't sorry at all|response]] to Mike's grieving son was all of three words long.

The Mike Jackson "mini-saga" might be the most conclusive proof yet that Chris doesn't understand the consequences of his terrible advice, or the gravity of the tragedy he caused.

===Simonla Rosechu===
[[Image:SandyRosechu.jpg|80px|right|thumb|The bastard child in question.]]
During the [[Asperchu]] saga, a recurring theme was [[Evan]]'s legal claims in regard to [[Simonla]] as a derivative of his character, [[Simonchu]]. While early demands were for Chris to edit his old strips to remove Simonla entirely from continuity, later Evan consented to letting Chris keep Simonla's early appearances, on the grounds that he kill her at a later date. Chris, not surprisingly, totally lost his shit, showing a much stronger emotional attachment to an empty, one-dimensional fictional character than he has managed for any living creature other than his [[Patti Chandler|fucking dog]]. Finally, after being faced with severe legal action, Chris finally killed Simonla in [[Sonichu 10]], though not before she laid an egg with her husband Wild (though, of course, their wedding and the act of laying the egg were never shown, or even mentioned), which hatched into [[Sandy Rosechu]].

It should be noted that, as revealed in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls]], Chris considers cartoon characters to be real. Not figuratively, not essentially: ''literally'' real, living creatures that exist in some other world reminiscent of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Simonla's death was as real to him as that of any of his family members or sweethearts... perhaps even more so.

===Yeardley Love (1987-2010)===
Yeardly Love was a lacrosse player for UVA who was murdered. Chris uploads a [[05142010|video]] discussing the story (which he probably just saw on TV for a few minutes), but doesn't bother to even say her name. He also states that the murderer should get 20 years in prison for the shock of the murder, which is twice his desired punishment for smoking. Later in the video, [[Chris and His Ego|he reroutes the subject towards himself]] and states how everyone needs to be sympathetic of him and his autism and saying that he's [[Chris and anger|not]] [[Chris and race|a]] [[Chris and sex|bad]] [[Chris and rape|man]]. In other words, he uses the death of a girl he never knew or really cared about in order to make himself look good.

===[[Bob|Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]===
[[File:Ctrl-alt-chrischan.jpg|thumb|He remembered his [[PSP]].]]
Coming soon... Both are well into their "Silver Years" and suffering from many health issues, compounded by their age. It doesn't help that they're [[Tour of Chris's House|living in a landfill]].

As of 01 [[March 2010]], Bob is in the hospital with congestive heart failure, owing to his age, [[McDonald's|diet]] and lifestyle. In the Twitter announcing Bob's heart failure, Chris has stated that he believes his father will survive and showed more concern for the [[stress]] he was under than his own father's health. On top of that, during the [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript|date with Emily]], Bob stated that he already died (probably for a minute or two and then was brought back, or his heart had to be stopped during surgery). The inevitable might (probably will) happen soon...

===Chris himself===
Given Chris's terrible diet, poor [[health]], [[obesity]], lack of exercise and general lack of concern for anything, he is unlikely to live far into his forties.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[White_knight#Chris_lacks_empathy_himself|Lack of empathy]]
*[[Death threats]]

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Dead]]

Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu

2010-07-07T03:04:58Z

Jump: god i was such a faggot when i edited this before.

'''Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu''' is Sonichu's poem to [[Rosechu]]. Briefly quoted in [[Issue 0| Episode 2]], with the full text available in a Valentine's Day edition of [[Sonichu's News Dash]]. In one simple poem, Chris manages to make the reader completely lose all respect for literature in general. Obviously written stream-of-consciously, it's a mismash of a loopy, offbeat meter and some extremely awkward rhymes. However, it still beats out many of Chris's poetic forays.

Incidentally, Sonichu feels he is required to point out that Rosechu [[Women's Rights|can't run as fast as him]]. He's a real charmer, that guy.

==Text==
[[Image:Sonichu's Ode.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu's [[Chris and sex|romantic advances]] allude to the famous verse of the great sonnetist, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Christiano Ragespeare]].]]

Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose,

though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.

You shock me with your electrifying radiance,

If I evolve into your knight, I will protect you with my lance.

Speed makes no difference, though you are slower than I,

You dance in a field with such grace and style. Sigh…

I will run great distances for thee,

for I can run very fast and never get a strained knee.

Rosey, as often as birds tweet,

will you be my lovely heartsweet?

==Analysis==

The poem starts out rather well, with the first couplet managing to make sense and (almost) follow a meter. Things immediately rocket downhill in the next stanza, the phrase [[China|"electrifying radiance"]] throwing off the rhythm and the substitution of an onomatopoeia for a legitimate rhyme. This is, of course, ignoring the [[Women's Rights|chauvinistic tone.]] Chris comes under some heavy [[stress]] for the next bit, apparently, with a opening with a rather boring claim, followed by the awkwardly stuffed in 'strained knee'. The ending fares slightly better, reestablishing a pattern, but by then the damage is far too great.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dramatic Reading
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1rN7PtUMMYg}}
| Stardate = 28 May 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = The third poem read, along with [[Hard Love Quest]] and [[Valentine's Day Hymn]].
}}

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Poetry]]

User:Jump

2010-07-07T02:48:16Z

Jump:

{{OperationMailbag}} {{Baha'i}}

i left, no one gave a shit

i came back, no one gave a shit

all's right with the world.

'''note: i'm not great at doing things of my own volition. ask me to do stuff.'''

Template talk:Baha'i

2010-07-07T02:46:04Z

Jump: Created page with 'oh wow, i mean.. most people don't even... i shed a single, grateful, manly tear. --~~~~'

oh wow, i mean..

most people don't even...

i shed a single, grateful, manly tear. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:46, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Template talk:Chris and

2010-07-04T18:38:52Z

Jump: /* Chris and intelligence */

We need "Chris and Reliability" --[[User:CJB8895|CJB8895]]
*I'm sure that, if we asked him, he'd agree to make it for us later. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 02:46, 9 December 2009 (CET)

== Guidelines ==

I've tried to add some guidelines about how to go about writing a "Chris and..." article. Whether people will find and read it before attempting to create ill-conceived new ones - is another matter. As always, feel free to correct my take on what the Chris and... series is for, as I was purely writing from what I understand of it. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]]18:00, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
:These are excellent guidelines. That said your sig doesn't include your name so I have no idea who you are.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:02, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
::That happens if I type 5 ~'s instead of 4 :-/ --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:05, 22 May 2010 (UTC)
*Not bad, though I need to get around into making "Chris and..." articles a CWCki project in the same vein the CWChronology is one. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:43, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and politics ==

We need this article.

== Chris and Videogames ==

All these "Chris and..." subjects, and no one has done one about his interest in certain video games and how they've influenced his life and the comic. For shame...--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 13:10, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and intelligence ==

We all know that Chris claims that he's a "genius" even though he's an idiot but I don't think there's a definate article for it yet. What I mean is that while there's examples such as "Chris and English", "Chris and Spanish", and the honor roll page, there isn't an article that's mainly about his intelligence from academic subjects to basic common sense. I mean there's near limitless examples to Chris's stupidity and social retardation such as his recent ban from flipnote hatena for uploading crap that was already removed [[RomanticLabyrinth|four times]], for inappropriate content on a family site, wearing a bra with "wants woman" in public in an attempt to find a girlfriend at a [[Fridays After Five|public event]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|removing something from his PS3]] just because some trolls claimed to have access to it even though any normal person would be worried about damaging the merchandise and voiding the warranty. If you guys think that this would make a good article then please let me know and I'll get right on it. [[User:Flyingdingo0827|Flyingdingo0827]] 14:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:I've been working on something similar on my sandbox called "List of Chris's bad ideas", but I was specifically going for bad ideas that had little to no troll influence in order to prove he's not simply being manipulated into doing embarrassing things. That's probably the kind of thing we should go for, though I suppose we can also factor in his gullibility into intelligence. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:44, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

::I dunno guys, it sounds really, really subjective. You'd better have a full draft ready in one of your sandboxes so the powers that be can weigh in on it before you post.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Why put 'Chris and...'? Just call it Chris's Bad Ideas. That would be one hell of an article.

User talk:JenkinsJinkies

2010-07-04T18:35:45Z

Jump:

Welcome to CWCki, dude!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 05:30, 6 May 2010 (UTC)

Hey dude. What part of Boston do you live in? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:03, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

hey man, I'd like your name and address so I can send you a reward. china or pickles? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:23, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Hey pal, welcome to the CWCki. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 01:55, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello there. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:29, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello there, new user.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello friend, welcome to the CWCki! --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:01, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Good to have you here man.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:20, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Also, could you help us with the new [[Amanda]] article? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:27, 4 July 2010
(UTC)

أهلا صديقي --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:19, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

I can tell, you're going to fit in great here. Welcome! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:35, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:12, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Champthom

2010-07-04T18:32:54Z

Jump:

Talk to me.

Be sure to check out the archives as well:

'''Archive:''' [[User:Champthom/Archive 1|1]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 2|2]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 3|3]] [[User:Champthom/Archive 4|4]]

==Upload page==
Thank you sir, your change is much appreciated. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 12:43, 20 December 2009 (CET)

==Sonichu Franchise Games==

How about this: [[User:Dude/Sonichu_Franchise_Games]]

...replace these:
*[[Sonichu (game)]]
*[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]
*[[Pokémon:_Lightning_Version]]
*[[Sonichu_Adventure]]
*[[Sonichu_Advance]]
*[[EX-CWC]]
--[[User:Dude|Dude]] 05:47, 22 December 2009 (CET)

==Chris's First Interview==
I noticed on [[Talk:Chris-chan_Discusses...]] you asked for someone to mirror Chris's first interview on Youtube. I know that was a while back, <s>but as far as I can tell no one has actually done it yet</s>, so I went ahead and did it for you [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-4Mvc5LbM]. I hope you're pleased. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 23:10, 27 December 2009 (CET)
*just noticed a while ago that it's aleardy been uploaded by The CWCville Library. I have no clue how I was so oblivious to that. --[[User:That Man|That Man]] 03:26, 28 December 2009 (CET)
:*I didn't notice this either, thank you for telling me about this though and I appreciate your effort anyways.
:*Also can't seem to find it on the CWCvilleLibrary...could you possibly post a link?--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:49, 28 December 2009 (CET)

==Thanks, Champthom==
<nowiki>:)</nowiki> --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 09:53, 31 December 2009 (CET)

==New Hotness for Videos==
Take a look at this template for videos that [[User:NeoShadow]] made; it's really sweet. It can wrap around videos (in the middle of the page, where they are now) or it can be used as a sidebar.

*Template: [[Template:Infobox/video]]

*Centered example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes]]

*Sidebar example: [[User:Neoshadow/sandbox/Sonic_Sweepstakes2]]

Thoughts? It's been on the [[CWCki:Priority_Listing|to do list]] for a while now, and we could get one or the other in place pretty quickly. The big question is which placement to use, and general style questions vis-a-vis the way it looks. Let us know! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 09:43, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*I really like it, but there was some debate (I need to see where) over the usage of video infoboxes, as some people argued it's unnecessarily replicates information one can gleam from the article. However, I think your centered example might solve that as this is ultimately what we can use to replace just pasting the video in Video sections of articles. I think the "Made by" would be useless in 99% of situations (with the very few videos made by other people, such as the Watch and Win one, or the videos by Scarlet). Personally I like your infoboxes, but I'm not sure if everyone else likes it elsewhere.
:Best I'd do is mention this in the [[CWCki:Community_Portal|community portal]]. As I said, I think your centered example might be very useful and a nicer display than just a YouTube video in the video section. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:11, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*This add-on is useless and redundant if you ask me. There's nothing new here you can't read in the introduction of the video, in the video navigation bar and I don't see the need for the "Festive" icons. I respect the efforts but I am a K.I.S.S.-Type of guy. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:02, 3 January 2010 (CET)

==IMPOSTORS==

Hey Champ, this is the "dude" from the old CWCki... somebody claimed my nick in the three hours between Cogs fixing the captcha and me checking back in =( Is there anything we can do about this? I can still log into the old CWCki to prove my TRUTH and HONESTY, and I used the same email signing up here (this account) and there (the old "dude"). --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 05:12, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
*I'll consult with Cogs later tonight, as I'm not sure if we can kick this other "Dude" off and have you have his nickname, especially given that it's an extremely generic name someone could have chosen (like Anonymous or Nobody or some name like that) or if we can do this, if it is right in doing so. Now I am concerned that people might try to leech off the fame of others by signing up for accounts of previous CWCki users, either to jump start their e-fame or as a way of trolling, so I'll need a second opinion. If anyone wants to weigh in on the matter, by all means do so. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:57, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, it's pretty generic, but at the same time, I only signed up around October, so it wasn't generic enough to be taken by then. I am kind of surprised that somebody snapped it up so quickly, since I was pretty actively trying to get it back myself. I suppose it could be innocent, but it's still kind of frustrating. Thanks for looking into it. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 14:52, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
can you give him the account back. i didn't know. i didnt think dude was gona be available, i though i got lucky. didnt mean to steal it, ill make another one [[User:Dude|Dude]] 00:26, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*No problem Dude (see what I did there?). Okay, here's how this will go down - new Dude, when you get a new account, AIM or message me in IRC when you do. I will merge your current account into your new one. That will free up the username "Dude" and old Dude can register that way. rpoblem oslved. If there's any problems, you guys let me know because then I have to resort to Plan B. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:36, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*New [[User:Dude|Dude]] has been [[Special:Contributions/Dude|inactive]] for about a week now... can I get my account back? --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 17:49, 9 January 2010 (UTC)
:*The new Dude needs to contact me so I can merge his old account into the new one, thus freeing up "Dude." If he doesn't respond in 24 hours or so, then contact me and I'll reset the password and give it over to you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:57, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

== I'll not take this treachery sitting down! ==

You dare claim superiority over my powers as a great and terrifying wizard!? You shall soon see the error of your ways, good sir Champthom. I am a vengeful spellcaster, and I will rape you furiously in your sleep. [[User:Artiph|Artiph the Destroyer, Omniscient Archmage, bearer of the Grimoire of Destruction, whose powers by and large surpass that of the Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 11:03, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

==Sup==
Have a job for me? You told me to get in touch... --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 19:38, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
*Well I was going to ask you to help upload images but people got onto that which is good.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:57, 7 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Coolio. On Another note, don't bother restoring my Jerkop status. I don't need it now seeing as how images have a MUCH higher ceiling. I'll stick around to improve articles and help people with images if they need it. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 10:02, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==SPECIAL MISSION==
I accept. Should I simply sign up for an account on Asperpedia and get started or what? --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 09:19, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, do that - sign up for an Asperpedia account and go zap to the extreme. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:17, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

==Just to let you know==

There's a new user who registered under the name ChristianWestonChandler. I am watching this account since it came online. I just don't get a good feeling about this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 07:00, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

==Apologies==

Thank you for fixing that mistake, that was the first time I added a template so I really am horrible at it. --[[User:Hieghts503|Hieghts503]] 5:05 20 January 2010 (CET)

== Chris's resume ==

Would you please be so kind as to move this to [[Chris's résumé]] for the sake of more accurate spelling, and to satisfy the grammar nazi in me? If you don't know how to make the fancy és, just copy and paste mine. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 04:22, 31 January 2010 (UTC)
*Also, please to be deleting [[Chris and fame]]. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:15, 31 January 2010 (UTC)

== A new Mailbag bombing==
Well, our dear Christian has now started giving a copy paste reply as his new method of rejection. And hes done it to Mike Jackson's widow. We had a quick discussion about that in the talk page, and we thought it'd be an idea for another mailbag thats just filled entirely with letters about this one subject. Like how we had a whole mailbag asking about Asperchu and stuff like that? I thought we could have another of those; Only this time have an entire mailbag of people calling him out for being such a prick and for still not properly ansewing letters. What do you think Champ? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 18:59, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* To amend that idea, I suggest having Sysop inform him of another pending legal issue that can only be averted if he gives full replies to each email--he can't use the "Inputed" response or delete the whole thing and replace it with a general response or else the site goes down again or something.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:32, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

* Agreed. We need some sort of cover from him rejecting it in any way. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:56, 15 February 2010 (UTC)

== [[Politics]] ==

Please to be deleting. Broken redirect. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 01:11, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

== Sandy Rosechu ==

Any idea why [[Sandy Rosechu]] is showing up in [[:Category:Templates]]? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 22:17, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
*Fixed it. The Squote template didn't have noinclude wrapped around its category. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:21, 25 February 2010 (UTC)
**That was my fault. --[[User:Mikhail Faulken|Mikhail Faulken]] 22:24, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

== halp ==

Yo [[Scampers|Champers]], could you derete this page here: http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Template:Christory/March_07 ? It will be confus if it doesn't turn up as a red link. Sorry for mistake. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 15:00, 27 February 2010 (UTC)

== YO! ==

Champ old boy, do you have sauce on [[:File:CWCinDailyProgressJuly142007.jpg|this]] here sniplet? It must have slipped right past me, and now I want to know what it is! [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 02:09, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

==Jerkops Anonymous==

Hey, Champthom. I've been in the mood to move a page or two recently, but my jerkop privileges were abolished with the move to CWCki 2.0. Would you mind reinstating them? [[User:Llort|Llort]] 03:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

== Cole Smithey ==

Don't you think an edit like [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Z_%28film%29&diff=prev&oldid=344566166 this] seems too intentional to be an impostor? Never mind 30+ edits to the Cole Smithey article? [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 18:13, 7 March 2010 (UTC)
==Re: Pic of Wallflower==
Is this ok? It was shopped and It looks less like a man
[[Image:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|right]]

-[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 04:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Posse ==

Champ, I don't know if you still need monitors, but I have no life and lurk on the CWCki pretty much all day. Hit me up if you need me. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:06, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
*NO U. Srsly, contact me on AIM or IRC tonight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:07, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

==Summaries==

Ok, so I will check. I've started trying to sort and format the summaries for each of the Mumbles, and it's March Mumble Madness, but I seem to have contradicted instructions (as I discovered having worked on ALL of them), by listing rather than writing a narrative. What is it you want exactly, so I can get on it ASAP. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 04:11, 18 March 2010 (UTC)22:40, 17 March 2010 (UTC)

==Article of the Now==

You wanted some sort of template to denote former articles of the now? [[Template:Articleofthenow|How's this?]] --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 19:58, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Clyde already made something, just need to incorporate it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:06, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
*Late to the party again. Never mind --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 20:23, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

== List of Chris' lies ==

Okay, I trust your judgment on this. Wasn't sure if cleanup or deletion was the better solution and it looks like I chose wrong. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 20:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Quality Control jerkops ==

Hey, I saw your comment re "Quality Control" jerkops, of which none seem to be active at this point. I think I could handle that. [[User:Apostrophe|Apostrophe]] 21:12, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

== Champ old boy ==

People want to update [[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series]], could you unlock it for a while? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 09:12, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

== Userboxes ==
Is it cool for users to make new rewards\userboxes, like the Grammar Nazi and Assburgers ones, for instance? Some wikis I've edited on don't like for you to make new ones due to space or whatnot, and others let you go crazy with it. Just want to check beforehand. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 03:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, it's alright, just don't go too crazy by making a kajillion of them. Some of the useboxes, like the Jerkop, Admin, etc. are obviously protected and it's poor taste to award yourself awards like the Order of the Pickle, etc. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 29 March 2010 (UTC)

==April Fool's Day==
Since its going to be april fools day when the ultimatum expires why dont we just shut down for 1 day and let chris think he's won.
I mean worst that can happpen is he forgets about us, or the best is that he actually makes a "victory over cwcki" vid.

and then bring it back on the 2nd with a big fuck you chris

user: DKD 15.13 GMT 31.3.10
* No. That's stupid. Chris will make a "HA HA I GOT U TROLLS" video and quit paying attention to us because he thinks we are gone. If we stay up, we will have our own FUCK YOU CHRIS simply because we're not down. This will make Chris angry, and angry Chris is funny.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 14:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

*Never compromise, even in the face of <strike>Armageddon</strike> April Fool's Day. Also, in the future, make a sub heading (it's two equal signs, then your text, followed by two equal signs). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

This makes me worry now. What if Chris is pulling a long, convoluted April Fools prank, possibly the idea of a white knight? --[[User:Zehnfragezeichen|Zehnfragezeichen]] 16:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
*Don't be silly. The only White Knight who he listens to is Rocky, and even then, only just barely. And whats the chances that a church counsellor is going to come troll us? I think we're safe. Its almost certain that his plan consists of 'blank pages' and 'try to find and stab the webmaster' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

How bout we say that both bob and snorlax are dead, and put 14 Branchland Court up for sale? {{unsigned|Dan Dash}}

*Please, for the love of God, sign your comments. It's four tildas (~) in a row. I'm tempted to start banning people (albeit temporarily) for those who can't learn how to sign their fucking posts. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 22:28, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

:*Champ's got the rage. Dan, would that actually get to Chris? Seems to me it wouldn't bother him that much. Also seems he's making himself trollproof by becoming detached from us. Thoughts? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 23:04, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
:**He's not trollproofing himself at all, he's just fighting the urge to go online and complain about things. This is exactly like when we got him to make the comic--he was really diligent about it and when he missed a day he usually made up by posting two comics on the next. Flash forward two months and he's only releasing it in short bursts. He'll be back on his own in that time--less if he thinks Sonichu is being threatened. I suggest that someone put up an ad on CWCipedia that states that Chris has declared all Asperpedia comics cannon within the Sonichuverse. Or something about how Chris risks losing the "copyright" if he doesn't make visible use of it for more than two months.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:14, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

::*I'm not sure, he didn't even seem too angry when he discovered the Cwcipedia was devastated (now THAT would've been an April Fool's Day joke). Could it be that he's becoming numb to it? We've done almost everything we can to slander him, his family, and Sonichu. We've set up "sweethearts" toyed with him and, albeit inadvertently, brought about the end of his last IRL gal-pal. We sent the health department to his house, without effect, and have parodied Sonichu and Chris himself. What else CAN we do to this guy? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 23:17, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::**We didn't call the health department on him and he never learns from his mistakes. We do it again and again. He's not getting desensitized at all, actually. We know most of his buttons now, we've just got to know when to push them. Oh, and every now and then Chris will do something to troll himself, and that's always worth a laugh.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:27, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::*** But it's getting kind of cyclical, Chris gets a new sweetheart, he get's in love mood, phone calls are leaked, get lulzy videos and then, someone manages to anger him, he spews some death threats, then the sweetheart leaves/reveals as troll/dies and then we have sulk Chris, then he completely forgets about it and we have the smug Chris, and in between all that he makes a rant video once in a while. Pretty much we have seen everything chris has to offer for trolling.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 04:26, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==General question==
Alright so Im a massive newfag here, and I'm wondering how do I create those tags on your pages? For example the eurofag and amerifag stuff. Can I create my own and upload them onto my user page?
[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 23:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)DKD 00:54 GMT 01.04.10
Templates.--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 03:20, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

== "Contact me ASAP" ==

What's going on? --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 03:59, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*Contact me privately. My info is on my use page, we can't discuss this openly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:25, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
*I've tried to contact you through AIM before, but because I'm a cheapskate who can't use Windows software, I suspect AIM didn't work too well on my end. I'm now in IRC too. I hope this works better. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:36, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

==CWC superstar==
Which Chris video did you get mentioned in?

[[User:Dkd|Dkd]] 12:55, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*[[Bunny Hop|PYONG PYONG PYONG! HOPPY EASTER FOR]] [[Crass and Champ|CRASS AND '''CHAMP''']]. Technically he's referring to the crab named after me, so there should be an asterisk. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:24, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

==Artist for hire==

I would be pleased to help by uploading pictures on the CWCki. The problem is that I don't know where to start. There was a page with the needing drawings but it wasn't updated in quite a while.
I talked to Cogsdev on the irc #sonichu and was referred to you. I'm not new to the Cwcki, but I only registered only today.
Here's an example of what I can do, if it's good enough:
http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:Sonee_2.jpg --[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 23:10, 13 april 2010

*I'd say that the [[Artist Commune]] for requested images is still current, so you can still try there. I'd say that the [[Mumble]] chats could use illustrations, mostly of illustrations to go with notable quotes from the chat.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:29, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's a pic for the IRC(16 october 2008) with 2 notable quotes from it. Since I'm not sure how to add it in a good way, I'll leave it to you.

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(16_October_2008).jpg

I hope it's good enough, I kinda messed up the pedo-glasse since it was done from memory.
Also, how can I link my signature to my userpage?--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 13:44, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

*Here's another one, this time for the IRC (20 January 2009).

http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:IRC(20_January_2009).jpg

I tried doing the pedo glasses right this time. I'll leave this to you. Also, thanks for the edit Beat.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]] 22:58, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

== Transcription Category ==

What are your views on a category for all articles containing transcriptions? It would make them easier to locate for maintenance or general interest IMO. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 22:42, 17 April 2010 (UTC)

== Question About Templates ==

Hey, I recently uploaded the 4 templates [[Template:Observer|Observer]], [[Template:Warrior|Warrior]], [[Template:Hero|Hero]], and [[Template:Legend|Legend]]. I was wondering what I should do with them( I'm not the best at using Wikis). Should I move them somewhere, edit them, etc.? Also, since you deleted two of the category pages, I was wondering if I should restore those or delete the other two. Sorry if there are any problems. --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 03:10, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

:Oh, also, just wanted to tell ya that I restored the two category pages for now (now all 4 are up instead of just 2/4). If you want me to change/move anything, I'll gladly do it. Just tell me what to do and I'll get it done. : ) --[[User:Alcoholic Legend|Alcoholic Legend]] 06:14, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

== Old Cats ==

As part of a revamp of userboxes and their categories, there's a lot of now [[Special:UnusedCategories|unused categories prefixed with "List of"]] that need to be deleted forever. Can you fix? --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:16, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:There's a few more List of... categories that need nuking. You might have just got hand cramp or something :) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:21, 26 April 2010 (UTC)
:*[[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'M WORKIN ON IT!]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:10, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

== Deletion, moving and er, shit ==

To do with the Twitter stuff. I remember you saying something about Jerkop powers not extending to moving/deletion. Can I? --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 10:55, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

On a related note, I made a mistake on an [[Bill Lumburg/Fan:Sonichu 11|article]] I created and I'm trying to move it to my Userspace. Can you help me with this? I don't see a move option anywhere so I'm assuming only admins can do it. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:58, 2 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for taking care of that. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:54, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

== New Performance Style ==

Made this and applied it to a few pages after discussion that in the latest video none of the templates reflected the performance style (unadulterated smugness). Probably should have run it by you before I added it to a load of videos, sorry about that. :(

{{Comeuppance.png|text}}

:The template has been named incorrectly (Should not have the .png). The icon doesn't seem to match the style of the others - most notably the eyes. And I personally still don't think comeuppance is the right name we should give the template, but that's just me. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 13:02, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

== Video Template ==

So I made a change to the video template last night which inserts a linked version of Chris's name on video templates when someone puts '''|maker= Chris'''. Do you think that since the template is intended for Chris videos, we can just make the maker default to displaying Chris's name and drop the |maker= line for most uses of the template - retaining the option to include it if we need to override it? I need to run this past someone before I start rolling it out.

Oh and I'm considering making the template parameters lowercase, as is common with templates. I could implement a way for the template to accept both while I transition each use of the template to use lowercase. Worth doing? (Some of the parameters are already lowercase - messy!) --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 21:31, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

==#sonichu ban/the stuff I was going to post==

Hey Champ, any word on the issues we discussed? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:16, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks for reminding me, I asked canine and he was going to talk to cogs but never heard back. I'll check with her though, though tonight isn't the best night to do it (long story). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Not a problem mate, there's no rush. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:31, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Contact me ASAP, just need to clarify something. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:43, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

==Quick Question==

Got something to ask you real quick. Will you be on AIM/IRC tomorrow? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:57, 15 May 2010 (UTC)
*Actually I'm gonna be out of town, but I'll be back Monday night.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:48, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

== Re: Glass vs Glasses ==

Wait what? Pretty sure glasses is what the majority of English speakers use when referring to a single pair of spectacles. It just looks stupid using "glass". --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:31, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

== Uhh...Champ? ==
You deleted the Facial Recognition talk page but not the page itself. Just saying. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:35, 23 May 2010 (UTC)

== A jerkop resignation letter ==

It appears that my furry background is raising a stir in /cwc/, and some people don't want me to post there. It does, however, bring another thing in my mind. I'd ask you to remove my jerkop bit. There's two reasons for this: First, if ''not'' having furries in positions of power helps some of the trolls to sleep better in the night, this course of action would help them. Secondly - and this is a far, far bigger reason - I'm not actually ''using'' the block/delete powers much, and having an account that needlessly has such powers is obviously a computer security risk. I don't think losing those rights would affect me that much as CWCki editor; I'm more concerned about site security and user happiness. Respectfully, --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 16:32, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*I need to discuss this with Cogs first. I appreciate your selfless concern for the site but I'll be damned if /cwc/ tells me or Cogs how to run this site. What you do outside the CWCki is nobody's damn busy, to be honest. You are one of the finest CWCki editors we have, particularly because you have experience editing Wikipedia and I will not let you be intimidated by Internet fucktards at least on the CWCki. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:40, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
** Understood. I just have to add that this is one of those "last nail in the coffin" type things; like I said, the security issue is, in my opinion, ''far'' more important than the troll reaction. I'm thinking of all that ruckus that was caused by the hacked sysop accounts in Wikipedia a year or two ago. So please, if a policy needs to be made, it should be made on the security grounds, not trolling grounds. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:47, 29 May 2010 (UTC)
*** I saw the thread on the /cwc/ you are referring to. In my humble opinion, you shouldn't give them any power over what you do. If you identify with a paticular group on the internet, it's not important. You seem to be an important editor to this fine Wiki, so having a bit of power can't be wrong in your case. The opinions expressed by the "members" of the /cwc" imageboard aren't worth anything on the CWCkie. Also, an hacking attemp on your account seems highly unlikely if you don't let any clues on your password. But it's only my opinion on the matter, it ain't worth all that much.--[[User:Blacksky01|Blacksky01]]
**** I know. The whole situation in the thread was ridiculous. Me making the teensy bit of a mistake of being a namefag (I knew the pain threshold was low, but ''sheesh''), people spamming the thread with the (admittedly awful) drawings I drew years ago. (Careful readers might know that I ''specifically'' made a promise not to "spread the cancer" here. It applies to /cwc/ as well. But if the /cwc/ people wish to repost the godawful drawings, that's ''their'' headache.) The only real effect the thread has had on me, personally, is that I've tried to objectively evaluate some of the things that actually ''do'' suck: I mopped my user page of the rambling and put it in subpages, replaced some of the drawings on my home page (damn, those were old and awful) and I have to rethink the promotion strategies for my webcomic, since that is obviously not working. I still stand by the security concerns, but if Champ and Cogs don't think it's an issue, then I promise to not use the block/delete tools for anything heinous, as was the case before. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:02, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

== Trouble in Asperpedia ==

I've just gotten confirmation that the recent confusion in Asperpedia is being caused by vandals [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=User_talk:IsabelMonday#HI_GOD_MORNING]. Now I know you've got no power over at Asperpedia, but if they've taken the admin accounts there's nothing they can really do, and I was hoping you might have connections with someone who could help take the site back. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:02, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mao is a [[Wikipedia:trickster|trickster]], beware of his cunning. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:03, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
**Well if it's a trick, its still pissing me off. I just made a project proposal to him and he answers by deleting all the fan content. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:05, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Have you considered the possibility he is TROLLING YOU BACK? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:07, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Not if he was destroying everyone else's fan content. That's just too extreme for trolling one person. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:09, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::* Admins can undelete deleted content so it could be an elaborate troll. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 18:35, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::* I'm aware of that, in fact my first thought was that Mao was taking a piss all over me, until I saw he was deleting the entire fan portal and not just my content. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Wait, your telling me that this is the actual Mao doing this? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:01, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
As Champ said, you cannot rule that possibility out knowing Mao's traits. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 19:04, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, but I never thought Mao would do something like this. This is extreme even for him. And he's deleting Asperchu too. And he's talking about /b/ and people's passwords. And the toher admins are acting like that too. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:06, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::* He set his password to '''password''' (no, seriously) and some asshat got in his account. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 19:47, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
::** *Facepalm* --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
{{quote|That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! It's like what a moron would set on his luggage!|<s>Mel Brooks</s> Rick Moranis couldn't have said it any better.}}

==Talk pages==

I think we should start looking at temporary bans for user who continue to use article talk pages for personal discussion. It's out of control. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 03:19, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

* He edited his page to change someone's comment to something compromising. When I called him out on it, he did that to me too, and then faked my signature on another compromising comment. Then again, I "had it coming" as you said. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 03:24, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
*I don't like being involved in others peoples' problems but Delabonte is abusing his power while being hypocritical. look at the history in his talk page.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:50, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Delabonte is neither a jerkop or admin, he has no real powers aside from being here for a while. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

*I don't like it either. Not that I disapprove of the Not a Forum template--those are prefectly justified on any non-user talk page. There's usually a thread over on the appropriate channels anyway, so it's not like it's a big deal. I just don't understand why it should apply to user talk pages.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:04, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:I was talking about '''article''' talk pages, not '''user''' talk pages, but out of respect for 16BitAlex I have removed the offending article from the talk page and put it on my userpage. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 04:05, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::Partly my fault for not reading fully. But, if it was truly out of respect you would have removed the "offending article". You are right on Not A Forum for ''article'' talk pages. If only there was a forum that CWCki users could use. In fact, there ''was'', until the powers that be at a certain private forum thought that a public forum was a bad idea. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 04:22, 23 June 2010 (UTC)
::when i said abusing your power i didn't mean the "NOT a forum thing". i understand my mistake regarding that. what i meant was the editing anonymax's and 16alex's comments on your usertalk after you told alex he could not delete the vandalism from his userpage.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 04:40, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

:*Dudes, there's still [[Krapple|/cwc/]] and [[EDF]] (if you're totally desperate). Fuck, you can make your own forum, just don't go about declaring how you're gonna rip stuff off from PVCC or try to overtake PVCC. Fuck, hang out in [[Sonichu (IRC)|#sonichu]] and they'll let you in PVCC if you're not a faggot. Point is, CWCki isn't the place for this sort of talk - it's distracting and there's better places to do this.
::I mildly tolerate it since once people get warned, they (usually) tend to start and it's hard to keep track of repeat offenders. I think I've temporarily banned someone who was a repeat offender once but as I said, it's hard to keep track of people who do that sort of shit over again.
::I really haven't seen this as a huge problem on article talk pages, and in the past I have threatened bans for trivial discussing that was getting out of control but for one or two people commenting I can sorta deal with. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:54, 23 June 2010 (UTC)

Champ, I think you should look into Delabonte again. I tried warning him about not starting a flame war, but he just started vandalizing other people's comments on his talk page. This kind of behavior isn't tolerated here. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 13:08, 25 June 2010 (UTC)
*Cogs has spoken to me, the issue has been resolved. As usual, in her favour. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 14:47, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

==I just counted==
For some reason, I'm doing this lately. You have, as of this writing, made 8925 edits to the CWCki, based on your contributions page. No joke. Thought you ought to know. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:29, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
*1) that's because I'm an admin, 2) most of my admins are me failing to preview and tiny shit 3) mostly talk page edits. Fun fact - my user page is the most linked page on CWCki because I comment on like every talk page. But yeah, I spend way too much time here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:32, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Yo ==
Champ! Do us all a favour and ban JESUS would you? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:57, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== You said to direct questions to you. So... ==
How in the fuck is that Coffee Place article a confirmed CWC sighting? Where in that photo is Chris or Bob, because I can't see shit? What does any of the text have to do with Chris or any sighting of any kind for that matter? Why does Clyde believe it's a confirmed CWC sighting? What evidence have we got? And why are you and Clyde so certain that this user's word alone can be trusted to the point of threatening bans for questioning them, when they haven't really given us any real proof of anything?

I really, really, REALLY hope that i'm just retarded and missing something obvious, because this makes NO sense to me whatsoever. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:03, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:shut the fuck up edward [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:06, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*To clarify, I'll be glad to address any questions on a one-on-one basis in IRC or via AIM.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:07, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**I've also got a question I need to ask you in IRC.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can't use IRC. My computer fucks up whenever I try, and believe me I have tried. Why am I never allowed an actual answer when I ask a question? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 12:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*You are thicker than liquid cement, Edward. Email me at origins.intervention@null.net so I can enlighten you. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*It's not sending. I keep trying to send a message and I keep getting a notification email telling me that they couldn't send it for some reason. Are you sure that's the right email address? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:30, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
**Can I cover this, Champ?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:52, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
***Try my alterate, the.new.chemical@gmail.com --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Champthom

2010-07-04T16:11:45Z

Jump: /* You said to direct questions to you. So... */

Talk:Coffee Place

2010-07-04T01:03:56Z

Jump:

Why--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:With the way she talks, it sounds like a woman Chris clone somewhat. Still, fail-delete this. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 15:30, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This article seems to be really irrelevant, save for the fact that Bob and Chris occasionally go there. Since no drama with Chris seems to have occurred there, I vote for a delete. --[[User:Shearod|Shearod]] 16:55, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::I'm putting up the deletion template. Unless we got confirmation of Chris doing something worth noting, this page is going down. Sounds like its written by a butthurt employee anyway. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::'''Are you people retarded? Of COURSE this is noteworthy/reliable.''' Just look at that photo. Look really hard. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:03, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama. ==

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:What the fuck.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:18, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:I have no idea what you just said. Make some fucking sense. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:: I'm not fluent in batshit, but from what I've read, this kid saw Chris in a burger king and thought it was big news. If Chris wasn't filing his bottomless gullet with junk food, than it would be noteworthy. We know that Chris prefers McDonald's, so Bob must have chosen to eat here that day. Apparently Chris and Bob got into a shouting match with one of the employee's, but nothing seems to have come of it. Thats my analysis anyway --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 23:22, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Oh my God. There is a rabbit-hole within a rabbithole. This kid's a fucking nutcase. He has potential to make the front-page of ED. Has a wiki documenting one Internet Phenomenon somehow spawned another? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 22:57, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Can we get an IP check to see if he's actually Chris?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:58, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

He certainly writes like him (random capitalisations, odd phrasing); I propose we keep the page up until the proper investigations have been made. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:02, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Checked his contributions. High chance this is Chris--he signed up back in May to tell Clyde that he knows he only removed an antenna from the PS3. Then he went to the PSN download pages and a few unusual edits--he removed a pipe to [[duck]] from "Small Things", clarified that he rented Downfall(!), and a clarification that some DLC for Killzone 2 was purchased by trolls during a hack, rather than DLC for Resistance FOM. And the photo he uploaded to this article is labeled "Burger King"--y'know, like the place Bob likes to go to exploit the free coffee thing? I get the feeling Bob doesn't think trolls are tracking him IRL and he wants them to show up at Burger King to prove it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:17, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:: Hmmm... Perhaps Bob and Chris got banned form Burger King, and Chris is trying to get trolls to go after the managers and employee's there. Would make perfect sense to Chris... But I'm not entirely sure this is his work, might be some stupid kid... Can we have a field agent do a check of Chris's local Burger King to see if he has indeed been banned? That would explain a lot --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 23:25, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:: The picture was taken on a Nintendo DS. This morning. Check the metadata. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 23:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Confirmed, then.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:40, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:: I guess the pull of the internet is just too strong to resist. How should we proceed from here? Should we take "JenkinsJinkies" at his words and see what else we can get out of him? Obviously this is operating under the assumption that he isn't checking this talk page that frequently.[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:35, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

==Yeah, this is probably Chris==

*Chris is the only person on earth who thinks randomly capitalizing words is a proper way to put emphasis a word(the correct way being ''italics'').
*Chris has portrayed trolls referring to him as "Chrissy" before.
*No troll calls Bob "I'm Cuttin' It Down" Chandler "Robert" or "Bobby".
*Chris likes to use semicolons everywhere.
*Chris has also used the term "Stop the presses" in Mailbag replies.
*Jenkins here clearly can't use the word "lulz" properly in a sentence.
*Jenkins switched subjects constantly, like he can't keep his mind on track. Chris has this problem whenever he tries to talk or write or attempt any form of communication whatsoever.
*"Jenkins" acts as if his entire motivation for trolling Chris is that he hates "special" people. He's acting like a person who is genuinely playing kick the autistic--y'know, the kind of person Chris thinks all of us are?
*He also acts as if he has an incredibly unfortunate life--just like Chris implied he thought we all did in the emails he sent to Jack last year.
*His typing is rife with grammatical errors--it's almost as if he [[Song of Christian|failed English]].
*There is a massive plothole in his story--he claims that he lives in Boston and allegedly nags his parents to drive him back to a bumfuck town in Virginia for the sole purpose of trolling Chris. Nobody involved with trolling Chris is that retarded.
*There's more, but what I've posted is damning enough as it is. Either we have a good Chris impersonator or this is Chris--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:If that's the case it sounds Chris has some level of awareness; he checks back to find the article is up for deletion, then makes up some backstory about being a 14 year old troll passing through with his family. That's probably the only part that doesn't sit right with me.

If this is indeed Chris, confirmation might be a little trickier; do we have the IP to his DSi? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 23:45, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*If this is Chris, then what the hell is he trying to accomplish? This makes no sense to me. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:47, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
**My guess is he plans on shooting up the place along with all trolls. Either that or he's trying to use CWCki as his own personal army against the workers at this place who were mean to him. [[User:HicksDuck|HicksDuck]] 23:50, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
***I was thinking personal army as well, but he also wants to see a troll in person at a prearranged time. FAF caught him off guard because a troll caught him being a fuckup IRL--which ran contrary to his "MEET ME IRL, I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON" lie. He still thinks that plan can work, so he's trying to get a troll to meet him at a particular time IRL so he can pretend to be a normal person/get daddy to fight his battles for him.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:56, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*If anyone could consider it a clue, he spelled senior wrong like Chris usually does. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 00:05, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*none of these things are particularly hard to fake --[[User:Phlegethon|Phlegethon]] 00:07, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't want to act until we get confirmation from Clyde or Champ or whoever.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:09, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== This is a confirmed CWCSighting ==
The first one. Now stop harassing this user Christ almighty. god damn you people overanalyzing shit. now if anyone touches this user I will BAN them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:15, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:But adding this to the list of Chris's Edits to the CWCki is cool, right?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:16, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*I think Clyde is only confirming that this is a place Chris hangs out in and/or that Chris has been spotted at this place, hence "CWCSighting." --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:20, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, same goes with me - fuck with this user and I will ban you even longer than Clyde. Every jerkop is to ban users as they warrant fit.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:23, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:Understood comrade.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:18, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:Why do you think this is Chris? It isn't him. But this a confirmed CWCsighting. Jesus fuck Beat, you're a fucking dipshit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:18, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Jesus, my bad man.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:20, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Beat, for your failure to understand simple orders, I have issued Verdict 19. Expect my men in two days. Hope you're not too attached to your fingernails. We cannot have incompetence like this if Operation 55 is to be pulled off.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:41, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*My misunderstanding shall be my downfall! I must atone!--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:44, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*Just be glad it's not Verdict 99. The Lower Verdicts are fairly merciful, but even I had nightmares about the times I had to pull off 99.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:53, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
I understand that it's a confirmed sighting but why is all of that nonsense about a woman named Amanda in there? Sorry about being a slow-in-the-mind but how does info on her relate to Chris? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 00:58, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

File talk:Burgerking.jpg

2010-07-04T00:59:18Z

Jump:

After LOOKING AT THE METADETA, this doesn't warrant deleting.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:11, 4 July 2010 (UTC)--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:11, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:Maybe I'm just a dipshit, as clyde suggested, but I don't see Chris anywhere in that photo.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:24, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:see that fat piece of shit blob on the right? that's probably him. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:25, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, I can see that too. THIS GUY IS CREDIT TO TEAM! We can totally trust him implicitly and await his further contributions. grin.jpg --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 00:59, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Sonic the Hedgehog

2010-07-03T05:18:54Z

Jump: cleansing....

[[Image:Sonichuripoff.jpg|thumb|150px|Some poorly drawn rip-off of [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Sonic the Hedgehog''' is a [[Lie|shitty recolor]] of [[Lie|beloved hero]] and [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Sega's [[Lie|blatant plagiarism]] has given renowned Sonichu creator [[Christian Weston Chandler]] [[Stress|many sleepless nights]].

Chris has based his life on Sonic's teachings from [[Wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|AOSTH]]. He has been Chris's life hero since June 1990 [sic<ref>Sonic the Hedgehog wasn't released in North America or even Japan until June 1991 - see [[Wikipedia:Sonic_the_Hedgehog_(video_game)|here]]. Ironically, this is also a question on Chris's [[Quizzes#Sonic_the_Hedgehog_History|Sonic the Hedgehog MyBuzz quiz]] which Chris assigns the right answer of June 1991. Of course, there can be [[Wikipedia:Rad Mobile|Rad Mobile]] by Sega released in 1990, but that would have not made much sense either seeing as Sonic only made a cameo appearance as an air freshener and nothing more, despite the particular appearance in that game predating Sonic's own first game. That, and Rad Mobile was a very less known game from Sega, so the chance of Chrissy playing the game during 1990 ([[Soul Calibur|and failing miserably at it]]) would be highly unlikely.</ref>], replacing [[The American Rabbit]].<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Conception_and_Creation]</ref>

==History==
Chris likely first learned about Sonic from watching the cartoon show ''Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'', involving the basic plot of Sonic and Tails running around to defeat Robotnik, who was portrayed as a [[Obesity|plump]], [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]] man who would endeavor to conquer Mobius and destroy Sonic, failing spectacularly each time. At the end of every show, a small segment titled "Sonic Says" ([[Random-access humor|humorously]] misspelled "Sonic Sez" by Tails) would begin. Each segment would involve Sonic teaching a small moral lesson for kids to learn, such as [[Jerkops|when to call 911]], [[Rape|what to do if someone attempts to molest or kidnap you]], and telling kids [[Sonichu Special 4|not to play]] with [[Megatron Pistol|guns]].

The show was promoted via a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|contest]], with the grand prize being a [[Chris and money|$1,000 video game shopping spree]]. Chris was one of the two winners of the shopping spree and was featured in a news story about the contest, one of the biggest moments (if not ''the'' biggest moment) in his early life, spreading its influence far and wide, from his decisions to enter contests<ref>See [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]], [[Pixelated PS3]]</ref> to the eventual creation of [[Sonichu]].

Apparently, at one point, Sonic was more widely recognized than Mickey Mouse. He was also intentionally designed to be easy to draw, had an incoherently random daily cartoon and a dead-serious pseudo-cyberpunk Saturday cartoon to cover both ends of the kids' cartoon spectrum, an army of merchandising, and, oh yeah, most of the games actually didn't suck back in the day. That and its enormous popularity (he likes all popular music, after all, why not all popular cartoons?) almost certainly drew in Chris.

The reason Chris ''remains'' so unerringly loyal to Sonic is unknown. As the years went by, the games became steadily worse until they fell into a randomly spawning black hole of supercrap and seem doomed to dwell within its depths forever. The cartoons both ended, were replaced by something almost as godawful as Sonichu, and the current cartoon is dumb enough to suck, yet not egregious enough at sucking to be ironically entertaining. Many more pop culture trends have come and gone, some good, some heinously bad, but Chris has stuck by Sonic (and Pokémon) like an abused wife. Judging by the large amount of pages about Sonic-loving lolcows (autistic or not) on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]], there's obviously something about Sonic that [[Trolls|we]] don't see. Given how rabid a fanboy Chris has become, perhaps brand loyalty has transitioned into a sort of fannish Stockholm syndrome.

==Role in the comics==
Sonic first appears in [[sonichu 0|issue 0]] as Super Sonic battling the [[Perfect Chaos Monster]] in [[Station Square]]. Whilst battling him, a [[Pikachu]] comes to fight Perfect Chaos and is tackled by Sonic. The power of the Chaos Emeralds mutates said Pikachu into [[Sonichu]], who then defeats Perfect Chaos.

[[Sonichu 1|In the following issue]], he crashes into Sonichu again. After recognizing each other, they team up in order to rescue [[Rosechu]] from the clutches of [[Black Sonichu]].

Other than being the catalyst for the creation of Sonichu and teaming up with him in the second issue, Sonic serves no other purpose. He disappears after issue 1, literally never even mentioned again.

==Tails's (lack of a) role in the comics==
'''Miles "Tails" Prower''' is Sonic's sidekick, and has been in the franchise since ''Sonic The Hedgehog 2'' was released in 1992 for the Sega Master System. He has been featured in almost every form of Sonic-related media such as cartoons, anime and comic books. As such, many have been perplexed on why he has not made an appearance in Chris' comics.

Christian has refused to include Tails in his comics, despite ripping off Knuckles and Shadow and featuring an autobot named "Prower." If his response in [[Mailbag 38]] any indication, it is possible Tails was omitted because of the rumors (made by [[BlueSpike|13 year olds]] on [[GameFAQs|Gamefags]] and Failgrounds) that Sonic and Tails were [[homos|gay]]. According to Christian, Tails would be "[[Chris and Hypocrisy|inappropriate]]" for the comic.

Despite this, Chris ''did'' create a Tails-like [[Pokémon]] named Evails, though he has so far only appeared on the [[Wall of Originals]]. The name of [[Punchy Sonichu]]'s bike is also Prower, bearing a certain resemblance to his surname.

==Comics==
[[File:IanFlynn01.png|thumb|left|Much like Chris, '''Ian Flynn''' (Born 31 May [[1982]]) grew up with Sonic. However, he now writes the Archie Comics adaptation. This is more than Chris will ever achieve. Hell, the dude's even married!]]
[[File:Sth189.jpg|thumb|right|Most likely a bigger inspiration than the games series itself, this comic would rival Sonichu in stupidity if it were not for the semi-competent artists they hire.]]

Like with the cartoons, Sonic had comic adaptations up the ass, but in an even more bloated sense, as each comic series was specific to the region of the world they were released in. Japan got a bunch of crazy manga, Europe got a cliched comic series published by Fleetway (the same company that once published 2000 A.D.) that appealed to the gaming demographic of the 90s, and the US got a comic series published by Archie comics, itself based on the Saturday Morning Cartoon of Sonic, which really has nothing to do with Sonic beyond using some of the characters (albeit heavily modified) to serve as the basis of a weird, unoriginal furfag plot. While the cartoon has been off air for nearly sixteen years now, the comic series is still around like a [[Bob Chandler|diseased body]] lingering on the edge of life. (Wrap your head around this: It's the longest running comic book based on a video game series, and if it continues, longest running modern comic book in history. Who the hell is reading this stuff anyway? Oh wait...) Among comic book enthusiast, the comic is known for having a creepy batshit fanbase that entirely consists of [[Chris|30-year-old furries living in their parents' basements]], (despite the target demographic being [[pedofork|little kids]]) who complain about a lack of bestiality in the story and for being subject to horrible plots including shallow romances and convoluted explanations for changes in character appearances. Many speculate that people like Chris are probably the only reason it manages to stay in existence to this day (that, and [[SEGA]]'s endorsement).

Chris has hinted at and mentioned that he is familiar with the comic series, and the layout of his comics tends to replicate the style of early Archie Sonic covers. Reldnahc's calling Chris "Prime-Chan" in the comic may be a reference to the character Scourge the Hedgehog, an evil version of Sonic from another dimension; Sonic is referred to as "Sonic Prime" when dealing with inter-dimensional storylines. Chris has also been known to trace images from an early special of the comic "Super Sonic vs. Hyper Knuckles" for the basis of some of his fight scenes. Whether he still reads the comics now or not is unknown, but it is probable that he does. He has stated that he would like Sonichu to be published by Archie Comics.<ref>[[IRC (22 December 2008)]]</ref><ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]</ref>

Chris would most likely still use it as a source of <s>inspiration</s> plagiarism if he still updated Sonichu. That and it's probably excellent [[mass debating]] material (read: Princess Sally), being that he's a proto-furry.

Starting in [[April 2010]], [[Sony]] began releasing the Archie Sonic comics for download via the [[Playstation Network]].<ref>[http://blog.us.playstation.com/2010/04/22/playstation-comics-store-update-17/ PlayStation Comics Store Update]</ref> The likelihood that Chris has purchased them? [[Chris and money|Close to 100%]].

==Sega's response==
After being scarred by the shitty drawn comic by Christian Weston Chandler one fan finally decided to let Sega in on Sonichu. It's currently unknown on what Sega will do about Chris. [[Image:Sega's Reponse.png|thumb|Sega's reaction to the discovery of Sonichu]]

==Plagiarism==
{{incomplete}}
Sonic the Hedgehog is a point of inspiration for many asspies, and like many of his kind, Chris unashamedly steals from all of its various canons. [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] is obviously a recolored Sonic the Hedgehog, but even more obvious is [[Rosechu (character)|Rosechu]], who somehow manages to be less original than Chris's flagship character.

{{Clear}}

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|Chris drew this in between ages 8 and 27.
Image:075-SonicAndSonichu.jpg|He's a street smart cop with 20 years on the force! He's a rookie straight out of academy! Together, they fight crime!
Image:063-SonicVsSonichu.jpg|Because we all like to see our favorite heroes crossover one day! [[Sonichu 1|Oh wait!]]
Image:0065-Sonic.jpg|Sonic looking an awful lot like Christian.

Image:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|...I thought the answer was "Aim for the [[Sonichu 4|sourdough region]]"?
Image:327-SonicJamCardBck.jpg

Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|0-0 [http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/um_yeah_maybe_get_somebody_els.php Geekologie Reader] does not approve of Chris's artwork.
Image:447-CWCSonicPlate.JPG|Sonic the Blowfish.
Image:468-SonicCup.JPG|Chris makes his own unlicensed Sonic merchandise.
Image:469-SonicCupSide.JPG|Hello, lawsuit.

Image:0064-ChristianWSonic.jpg|Chris was so excited, he produced [[dirty, crapped briefs]].
Image:0077-SonicDoll.jpg|Chris still has this doll and it has seen [[For Julie's Eyes Only|horrible things]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces/notes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Shadow the Hedgehog]]
*[[Amy Rose]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (character)|Wikipedia article on Sonic the Hedgehog]]
*[http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/4762-adventures-of-sonic-the-hedgehog Nostalgia Critic review of both cartoons]

{{Not_Jerks}}

[[Category:Stubs|Sonic the Hedgehog]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-03T04:57:13Z

Jump: /* Chris may be eligible for fraud charges */

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-02T02:31:28Z

Jump: /* I MAD */