CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of Chris's lies

2017-05-03T20:02:31Z

KeithKeiser: Grammar

{{Protip|STOP PIPING TO "LIE" AS IT IS EXTREMELY OVER-PIPED. Try piping to something more specific and only pipe to "Lie" when nothing else works. The "Fail" article was deleted as a result of being overpiped, and you certainly don't want this to be deleted as well.}}

{{quote|Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.|A classic lie from [[Mailbag 52]].}}

{{quote|I do not lie all the time; I lie some of the time.|[[Chris]], lying during the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

[[Chris]], not being one to accept personal responsibility, will frequently '''lie''' to save face. This trait was likely inherited from his mother [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], whose dishonesty [[Cole Smithey E-mails|was described]] by [[Cole Smithey]] as "pathological".

In many cases, he will lie in a meager attempt to be "clever" or "outwit" the [[trolls]]. However, Chris is totally incapable of lying in a way that looks remotely convincing, so his lies have the opposite effect (e.g. [[CWC_Update_26_January_2009|going to Redmond]]). In other cases, he will lie to deny accepting personal responsibility for his [[Autism|actions]] (e.g. drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|Rule 34]] of [[Megan Schroeder]]).

The reason why Chris is capable of telling bald-faced lies while still claiming to be [[Honest Content|true and honest]] probably derives from failing to understand the concept of a "white lie": a lie told out of courtesy to avoid trouble and/or offending people. Because telling this kind of lie usually is socially acceptable and won't tarnish one's reputation, Chris, in his usual blindness to social rules, probably learned through his [[autistic|brain]] that it is okay to lie in order to save face, because it is possible to do so while still remaining true and honest.

Complicating this further is the fact that Chris does not attempt to support his claims with any shred of evidence, and will contradict his lies with even more lies. The end result is that Chris is more or less a compulsive liar.

As of recently, Chris has taken to calling his lying "misspeaking". Instead of accepting that someone has called him out on his bullshit, he prefers to say he "misspoke". Needless to say, no one has fallen for this new ploy.

This list serves to document as many of Chris's blatant falsehoods as possible. While Chris is known to speak half-truth, exaggerate, etc., the fact that he is willing to outright tell blatant lies and untruths with no grounds in reality is disturbing and this list serves to document the latter.

==Chris's lies==
* Chris claimed that mowing the lawn was a demanding physical chore for him, despite using a riding lawnmower to do it (though, in Chris's defense, it's entirely possible that mowing a lawn even with the aid of a riding lawnmower could have been genuinely physically demanding for him [[Chris and health|given what we know about his health]]).
* In a [[Mumble]] chat, he lied and said that [[nudes|nude]] photos of him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] were photoshopped, despite consenting to the photos.<ref>[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat #2]], ~44 minute mark</ref> Chris also lied to someone he believed to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] about the ED images being photoshopped.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Miyamoto Saga#From Chris to Miyamoto]]</ref>
* For two days, Chris claimed to have a new [[sweetheart]] named [[Chloe]] after the [[Blanca]] breakup. The first mention was to his fans, of all people.<ref>[[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction]]</ref> Yet, if he were already seeing Chloe, why was he sad about breaking up with Blanca? Chris claimed to have met Chloe IRL at [[GameStop]], where they struck up a conversation, yet Chris has constantly said he freezes even while practicing talking to women.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> He even said that they had a date together at Taco Bell and shared his first kiss with her. The most damning evidence is Chris never mentioned Chloe again. Furthermore, as of [[Mailbag 13|Mailbag #13]], he says that he has "no recollection of a Chloe."
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|lied]] about taking a trip to Redmond because he had no financial support and to get a "Peaceful Weekend Getaway from the Trolls of the internet."<ref name="ReferenceA"/>
* Chris claims he jogs regularly for more than 20 seconds, [[Sonichu's Edge|despite proving he is incapable of doing so.]]
* Chris [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|claimed]] that he was kicked out of class because he was autistic, when the [[Jackie_Chat_5|real reason]] was him making a homophobic (and racist) comment in front of everyone. However, it may very well be that Chris considers such behavior to be inherent in austistic individuals (and is therefore excusable/not his responsibility).
* Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|claimed]] that [[Blanca]] received the [[medallion]] and sent it back so Chris could modify it, yet the medallion with the "special marks" was destroyed on YouTube. Furthermore, in a private chat with [[Robert Simmons V]]{{cite}}, Chris admits that the medallion was procured and was hastily working on a new one to throw the trolls off guard.
* When a nefarious IRL [[Jerkop]] confronted Chris on his [[Attraction Sign]], Chris quickly hid the sign while the Jerkop left to get the [[Manajerk]]. Then, Chris proceeded to lie and pretend he never brought the sign, resulting in him being banned from the store.
* Chris claimed that he was banned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] forever for going behind the counter. In fact, as revealed by [[Mimms]] on the PVCC forum, the ban for going behind the counter was temporary, and what got him banned forever was the fact that he got into a shouting match with a child and treated the [[Michael Snyder|store's manager]] rudely. Possibly, Chris was mistaken, as he can be [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow in the mind]] sometimes.
* In an e-mail,<ref>[[Chris E-mails 2008]] - "Against me, [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|that page]] has broken the closest thing I've had to a relationship with Megan Schroeder, who I've finally had at her first time of saying with feeling, 'I Love You' to me, then she found that page and she broke up with me."</ref> Chris claimed Megan said she loved him, when in reality she said no such thing.
* He has made occasional claims<ref>See [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009]] and [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]].</ref> that he really doesn't hate [[homos]], despite several instances of him showing otherwise.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009]], [[CWC Address to Unilever About AXE]], [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]], [[It's UGH!]], [[CWC "Boyfriend"]], [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]</ref>
* In an [[IRC (20 January 2009)|IRC chat]]<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]] at 21:21</ref> with [[Clyde Cash]] and [[BILLY MAYS]], Chris told Clyde, "People who call others homo are themselves in dire question of their own sexual preferences." When Clyde pointed out that Chris had called Clyde a homo just minutes earlier in the same chat, Chris lied that he didn't. When Chris was shown the exact words he typed, he said it didn't count because he was retaliating against Clyde's remark.
* Impersonated [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and called [[Kacey]], telling her about his sexual fantasies (which involves [[recycling]]).<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>
* Chris's challenges to CChanSonichuCWC began with a [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|video]] in Spanish, stating that if Liquid Chris could not respond in Spanish, that would prove he is the impostor. When that backfired horribly, Chris then issued the [[SingStar Challenge|''SingStar'' Challenge]] to determine who is the real Chris. When Chris lost the ''SingStar'' Challenge, he declared that the contest meant nothing.
* Chris made a fake page<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071108233910/http://members.aol.com/CWCSonichu/EPPromotions283.html</ref> mimicking [[PS3|PlayStation]].com that showed him as the winner of the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]].
* Trying to sound like a tough guy, Chris claimed in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15 October 2009]] Captain's Log entry that he "did not give a dang" about the reappearance of [[Liquid Chris]], which is obviously not true since Solid devoted the entire first half of the Captain's Log to discrediting Liquid. Solid also stated that it would be the last time he mentioned Liquid, so of course he mentioned him again in [[Brutal Legend Plus|a video six days later]]. In that video, Solid even used one of [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_1#CChanSonichuCWC.27s_Entry|Liquid's ''SingStar'' Challenge songs]] to mock the [[trolls]] (the song's original purpose being to mock Solid), proving that Liquid does indeed still agitate him.
* In [[Mailbag 14|Mailbag #14]], Chris offered a revisionist account of his ejection from [[Grace Baptist Church]], claiming that he was banned from the congregation because his pastor "found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." In fact, as Chris himself revealed in an e-mail to [[Lordsillynipples]] in 2008, he was kicked out after his pastor discovered the catalog of Chris's sexually deviant behavior on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], as well as the deranged YouTube rant from his [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|25th birthday]].
* In [[Mailbag 25|Mailbag #25]], Chris revealed that he told [[Bob Chandler|his father]] that he had taken the videos of the [[14 Branchland Ct.|Chandler house]] off the Internet. The videos are still available on YouTube.
* Chris began receiving e-mails in [[January 2010]] pointing out to him that his drawings of the Raichu from which Rosechu spawned in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]] had a pointed tail instead of a blunted one, meaning the Raichu was male. What makes this incident unique is that Chris could have easily resolved the entire conflict. Since Chris is a longtime fan of the series, he could have easily thought "Wait a sec, when did male and female Pokemon start using different sprites again?", done a few quick searches online, and found that all Raichu were drawn with pointed tails prior to 2006. Eventually, after Chris uploaded an edited page and claimed that the tail had been blunt all along, he had this realization...after someone else showed him Bulbapedia.
* In early [[February 2010]], Chris added a note to the [[CWCipedia]] page for [[Simonla Rosechu]] which claimed that she is a completely original character, and not a sloppy knockoff of [[Evan]] George's [[Simonla_Rosechu|Simonchu]]. This was, of course, an obvious lie, contradicted by Chris's own e-mails and other statements about Simonla's creation. Later, in a [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|phone conversation]] with Alec Benson Leary, Chris acted surprised that anyone would be unwilling to accept this "retraction" of the truth, suggesting that he doesn't even comprehend why people might not believe his lies.
* On Chris's [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call with Alec]], Chris very quickly found his own logic being used against him. To extricate himself from having to admit he was wrong, Chris instead set the phone down and very unconvincingly pretended to be his own [[Barbara Chandler|mother]], carrying on a small "conversation" with Chris asking him to clean up some [[Chandler cats|cat shit]]. Chris then came back to the phone to tell Alec his mom needed him to take care of the cat and that he had to hang up.
* During the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth conversation with Alec]], Chris claims Nintendo sent him a letter saying Chris had free reign to use Pikachu in his comic, but when Alec asked Chris to upload the letter, Chris said he "misplaced" it. Also, during the call, Chris confidently stated that he "regularly" plays every single one of the games he owns — this being a valid reason he could not sell them for money. Chris owns [[List of Chris's games|roughly 600]] different video games, so unless Chris has figured out [[Time Void|a way to stop time]], it would be impossible for him to play all of those games regularly.
* Chris went to great lengths to tell the fans that he would never show gore and violence in his comics. However, he breaks this statement by killing Evan in a very gory fashion in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. He later insists in [[Jackie_Chat_1|his first chat with Jackie]] that it was justified because Alec "gored it up first." Episode #17, which was written long before ''Asperchu'' even began, ended with Rosechu stripping naked, ''clawing a man's head open'', ''electrocuting him'', and ''leaving him in a puddle of his own blood''.
* When the trolls started to demand more comics, Chris stated that he was never sure whether he wanted to make money with ''Sonichu''; if that were true, he would never have tried to make a [[Sonichu Adventure|video game]] about ''[[Sonichu]]'', nor try to sell it to businesspeople.
* Chris has repeatedly referred to [[The Wallflower]] as his "girlfriend", despite making a video [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|pleading for her to be with him]], and, in fact, complaining about her essentially putting him in the [[friend zone]].
* Chris promised to [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|"remove [him]self from the Internet"]], only to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|return in less than 48 hours]].
* [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean|While trying to get himself back into The GAMe PLACe]], Chris told Michael Snyder that he's become a better person. This is after all the things he's done since [[2008#April|April 2008]]. He ends this meeting by calling Michael a Jew, despite stating he had nothing against Jews not five minutes earlier.
* Chris's [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|CWCipedia article about The Wallflower]] contains some of the biggest flights of fancy, blatant lies, exaggerations, half-truths, and flat-out delusions seen yet from Chris outside of the [[Father Call]]. Specifically, he claimed that he and The Wallflower had shared a kiss; since this would have been Chris's "real" first kiss (aside from "[[Chloe]]", a lie), it was considered important by obsessive CWCki editors to see if he remembers it later (the Wallflower CWCipedia page article was written on April the 19th). Naturally...[[Jackie e-mails Part 2|leaked e-mails from Jackie]] show that by the 10th of April, ''nine days before making this highly suspicious claim'', Chris had either a.) [[Jackie_e-mails_Part_2#Jackie.27s_Questionaire_1|momentarily forgotten that he had been kissed]] — a monumental occasion in his life; b,) lied on his CWCipedia about being kissed; or c.) lied to Jackie about being kissed. In the end, a lie is still a lie, although it's ''possible'' he's basing his story on a gross exaggeration of the truth (the two sharing a drinking straw is the current troll favorite for this).
* In [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]], when asked about his opinion on a possible repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that would allow open homosexuals to serve in the U.S. military, Chris said that he thought the policy should only be repealed so that "the [[homos]] can go die in explosions." When called out on this in [[Mailbag 51|several]] [[Mailbag 53|later]] [[Mailbag 54|Mailbags]], Chris forgoes apology to either deny the claim ever took place, or claimed that he had retracted it. Later, he would alter an e-mail in [[Mailbag 51|Mailbag #51]] which contained the quoted remark to make it appear as though Chris was being pro-gay in the original e-mail. Up until the death of the CWCipedia in May 2010, the original, homophobic reply in [[Mailbag 49|Mailbag #49]] remained unchanged and unretracted.
* In the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|e-mails]] with Clyde Cash and [[Surfshack Tito]] about Chris's PS3, Chris swore that he would not reveal the name of his [[Jackie|new girlfriend]]. He broke this promise in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|a video]] not two weeks later.
* Also in the [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]], Chris said he would not buy another PS3. Not only did he do that and begin earning trophies about two weeks later, he also bought a PS Move controller ([[ECV 00001|seen in this video]]).
* In [[Jackie_E-mails_23|an e-mail exchange with Jackie]], he claims his [[Duck|penis]] is bigger than previously photographed and is no longer bent.
* Chris told [[Vivian Gee]] that he read her book, ''[[A Girl Who Brought Down the World]]'', when, in reality, he gave it to [[Rocky Shoemaker|his pastoral counselor]], and never touched it beyond that.<ref>[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]</ref>
* In the [[Miyamoto emails]], Chris claims he never sexually harassed [[Megan Schroeder]], despite drawing [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]], and Megan repeatedly having told Chris to stop touching her.<ref>[[Megan_Emails,_2005-2006]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Jan-July_2007]]</ref><ref>[[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007]]</ref>
* On the [[Tomboys_and_Tomgirls_of_Virginia]] forum, he said that if homosexuals 'kept it behind closed doors', he wouldn't bother them. Aside from his well-known issues with [[Homos]], his comic states that if he had the power, he'd constantly [[Magi-Chan|be on the lookout for homosexual activity]], and punish them to suit.
* In [[You're Always Pretty]], Chris told his mother he was taking pictures of her, when he was really video taping her.
* When Chris informed his [[mother]] that he [[PS3#Destruction|destroyed his PS3]], he told her that the machine was already malfunctioning before he smashed it to bits. In reality the PS3 was still operational when Chris decided to put it out of use.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 11]]</ref>
* When he held the [[Alex's Lemonade Stand|lemonade stand]], he claimed that his father died of cancer, when in fact, he died of complications from heart failure. However, this could just be Chris assuming [[Bob]] died of cancer because he had it (at least at one point), and not taking time to look into his actual cause of death.
* Chris told [[Jackie]] in an email that he has grown tolerant of the [[HEXBox|Xbox 360]] and respects those who own one, but recently in 2013, Chris went back on his word by defacing a display for the Xbox One at his local [[Mal-Wart|Walmart]], thus proving that his bizarre hatred for the HEX-BOX is still strong.
* Despite Chris' obvious morbid [[Obesity|obesity]], he has always lied about his weight, being evasive and giving numbers that are more consistent with [[Chris and reality|his own delusional self image than reality]]. As early as [[February 2010]], Chris admitted that he had at one point weighed more than 220 pounds. On Facebook on 4 January 2014, he claimed that he [[Obesity#Actual weight|weighed only 202 pounds]], despite his obvious sagging, triple chin visible in his profile picture. Users of the CWCki forums generally speculated that, based on the photographic evidence, he was probably underestimating his own weight by at least 60 pounds (~27 kilograms).
* When Catherine said no to a relationship with Chris, Chris told her that [[Catherine_E-mails#It_IS_Your_Fault.21|he was entitled to a relationship]]. In a [[Catherine_E-mails#Re:_Well.2C_that.27s_nypical|later e-mail]] ''(presumably after being called on his bullshit)'', he claimed he said no such thing. On that note, he also publicly referred to her as his "girlfriend" for months, despite Catie saying to him point-blank that their outings were not dates.
* Chris has stated that he has D-cup breasts. Kiwi Farms users have determined that they are actually A-cups.
* Chris did a promotion where if someone sent him a PS4 for his birthday, they would get a $500 coupon for his custom made Sonichu Amiibos. Obviously nobody sent him a PS4, but that didn't stop him from saying someone did. He claims someone named Kagney Lynn bought him the PS4, but closer examination of his Facebook page shows that the details of the order are linked to Fingerhut, the company he bought the PS4 from. This proves he bought the system himself.
* In [[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation]], Chris lied about his Etsy shop being on vacation, when it had been forcibly closed by Etsy staff, due to repeated complaints that he was not delivering orders. He also lied about working to set up a Zazzle shop; he decided to [[beg]] for handouts over the next several months instead.
* Chris lied about seeing a doctor about the [[Un-clit 2.0]] and later about the picture being an elaborate troll.
* Chris continually lied about his "creative groove" being "killed" because [[Lulu]] banned him. In reality, he had stopped work on the comic long before that happened, and he had even solved the publisher problem within a month, by sneaking back onto Lulu under an alternate name.
* Chris repeatedly lied about his reason for selling [[EBay|his father's stamp collection]], claiming he needed money for bills but immediately spending it all on toys<ref>[[Financhu Crisis]] - see March 2017</ref>.

{{Lists}}

==Sources==
<references />

[[Category:Lists]]

CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

2017-04-24T21:54:47Z

KeithKeiser: /* Miscellaneous */ Fixed "new content" section.

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|Welcome to the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]].]]

New people are being initiated to the horrors of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran [[troll]] might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

==Trolling==

; Is Chris a [[troll]]? Is the whole thing a hoax?
: '''No.''' The verified documentation on Chris and his entire life is far too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism (see [[Chris in the media]]). There are [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|two]] [[University of Virginia#UVA student on Chris|different]] blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before Chris came to a wider attention on the internet. [[Sonichu]] has existed since [[2000]]. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his [[Rocky Shoemaker call|pastoral counselor]]. When Chris was [[28 October 2011|arrested and convicted]] of a felony, he acted as he does online [[This is how the Trial went|even in court]], and accidentally [[Destruction Of Chris's House|set fire to]] [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] in real life as well.

; How can you get off taunting an [[autistic]] guy?
: The CWCki itself is not involved in any trolling; it merely documents Chris's life in detail. The motivations of Chris's trolls are varied, but few (if any) to none have any interest in tormenting him simply for having a mental problem.

:Chris is very notorious on the Internet as he's a [[Nudes|perverse]], [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|disgu]][[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|sting]], [[Chris and the Law|quarrelsome]], [[Chris and Anger|mean-spirited]], [[Chris and Reality|delusional]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissistic]], [[Chris and sex|sex]][[Women's rights|ist]], [[Niggos|rac]][[Chris and Race|ist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Chris and death|unsympathetic]], [[Bob Chandler|ungrateful]], [[Manchester High School#Graduation|jealous]], [[The GAMe PLACe|kid-scaring]], [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|troll-feeding]], [[Chris and Religion|heretical]], [[Death Threats|spiteful]], [[Slow-in-the-minds|cruel]], [[Autism Tutorial Extra|hate]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|ful]], [[Kick the Autistic|antagonistic]], [[Chris and Art|completely]] [[Chris and Writing|and]] [[Chris and Music|utterly]] [[Spanish|untalented]] [[Parody|thi]][[Things Chris has ripped off|ef]] and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]] of average Americans on [[video games]] and [[sex toys]] while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who knows full well that he has a problem and what he does doesn't work, but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of [[white knights|well-meaning individuals]].

:On top of that Chris was, for a time, incredibly responsive to trolling, adding fuel to the fire by producing many videos in which he [[tard rage|raged]] at the camera as a result of trolling - this no doubt gave many trolls significant motivation.

:However, before you want to inflict harm upon Chris and claiming that how Chris gives you [[Autism|autistics]] 'a bad name', please read the [[A-Logging]] and [[Weening]] articles.

; Why don't you try helping him instead?
: [[Vivitheg|Many]] [[Jackie|people]] [[Clyde Cash|better]] [[Alec Benson Leary calls|than]] [[Sarah May|you]] have tried over the years and they have all accomplished [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|nothing]]. See the [[White knight]] article for reasons for and against ''trying'' to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen. Even his [[Anna McLerran|actual friends]] can't help him.

; Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?
: The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various good reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

; Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?
: As of 2014, '''''efforts to troll Chris are strongly discouraged'''''. In a nutshell; the effects of Chris's father's death, his mother's ill-health and other [[October 2013 Facebook Posts#Reality Comes Knocking|recent]] [[Destruction Of Chris's House|events]] has had on him, combined with his relative reclusiveness due to being wary of previous trolls and him focusing his attention on the [[Sonic Boom Protests]], make it extremely difficult and not worth the effort.

:However, if you insist on ignoring this advice and trying your luck anyway, you can [https://www.cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1873 read here for more information] and post your ideas on the [[CWCki Forums]] or [[IRC:Contents|#sonichu]], where people who do troll Chris are much more likely to notice you.

==Psychology==

; Is he seeing a psychiatrist?
: Not regularly, but he is seeing his [[Rocky|church counselor]] and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist although details on this are not available. See [[Chris and psychology]].

; Is he really [[Autism|autistic]]?
: This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has [[autism|high-functioning autism]]; however, note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory [[Autism papers#Intake Survey|psychiatric survey]] from [[2004]], his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

; Does he have [[Asperger's syndrome]]?
: Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the [[1980s]]. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

; Is he [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]?
: A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|community college]] and obtain a [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license]]. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, [[Chris and his ego|self-serving]] one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on [[Greene County Conspiracy|external]] [[trolls|forces]] or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the [[autism|obvious]]) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives [[Monthly tugboat|regular payments from the government]] and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

==Sex==
; Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?
: For the majority of his [[love quest]], Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are [[Chris and money|expensive]], and Chris is afraid of STDs<ref>[[Mumble 4|Mumble #4]]</ref>. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around [[14 Branchland Court|the house]], give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement [[Barb|mother]]—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early [[2009]], he cried.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him.<ref>[[Chris and sex|#Prostitution]]</ref> In [[April 2012]] though, Chris claimed on [[Facebook]] that he lost his virginity to a hooker who complimented him on the size of his penis.<ref>[[:File:Virginbreaker.png]]</ref>

; Is he [[homos|gay]]?
: This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he is attracted to women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' in order to keep himself straight, and [[semen|he drinks his own semen]]. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his attempts to come off as outwardly heterosexual. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

; Is he a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]]?
: While he has stated that he does not consider himself one<ref>[[Sarah_Reveals_Herself#Chris_tries_to_leave|Chris admits to Sarah May that he is slightly turned on by Rosechu, though he maintains he is not a furry.]]</ref>, he does enjoy [[:File:Chris-chan_Traced.JPG|porn]] of anthropomorphic characters, and he [[Rule 34|draws his own]] even in [[Sonichu 8|his]] [[Giant Penis Comic|comics]]. He also identifies with [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|several]] [[Sonichu (character)|anthropomorphic]] [[Robbie|avatars]]. Although he does not regularly wear fur-suits, he did once dress up as [[ECV 00002|Chris-Chan Sonichu]], the anthropomorphic form he takes on his comic series. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furry community.

; Is he a [[pedofork|pedophile]]?
: No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] said about Chris in a [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|troll Q&A thread]] was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He ''has'' stated he would like to [[Mailbag 3#In which Chris advises Hitler to keep his Promises|lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen]] and created a sexualized 14 year old Sonichu character in the form of [[Zapina]], but these actions are more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past [[high school]] than latent pedophilia.

; Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?
: He refers to himself as [[August_2014_Facebook_Posts#Chris_comes_out...kinda|Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser]] and as a lesbian. His use of the slur 'Tranny' as well as his [[Response to ADF|past view on transexuality]] suggests that he has little to no clue what being transgendered actually means. He has been known to wear miniskirts, [[Muscle_bra|bras]], and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing [[Forgot the Glitter|in public]]. He calls himself a [[Tomgirl|"tomgirl"]] (a male equivalent to a tomboy), and he somehow thinks this is attractive to [[Boyfriend-free girl|potential sweethearts]]. However, [[Mumble 1|Chris has mentioned]] that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. [[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya|More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance]].

; Is Chris asexual?
: This is another hotly contested issue to which there is no clear answer. Some claim that Chris is not truly interested in sexual relations, but feels that sex is something which a "grown up" is required to do. Chris's desire to lose his [[virgin with rage]] status may have simply been an urge to undergo what he saw as a traditional rite of passage into adulthood. It is clear that Chris's sex drive is atypical, evidenced by the fact that he did not discover [[masturbation]] until he was sixteen and even as an adult only engaged in the activity twice a week. On the other hand, much of Chris's adult life has been spent in the pursuit of a sex partner and his comic characters are [[Sonichu 8|highly sexual]].

==''Sonichu''==
; What's the deal with ''[[Sonic]]'', anyway?
: He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|Sega contest]] that allowed him to stock up on ''Sonic'' titles. For some reason, the ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

; Where can I find the uncensored images from [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]?
: For those who may be curious, they are located [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|here]].

; Will he ever draw more [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]]?
: Yes! Chris stopped drawing comics in [[February 2010]]; but in 2014 he took up creating custom drawings for [[eBay]] sale, including a nine-page work in [[November 2014]] depicting a relationship between Mimi Rosechu and Robbee Sonichu, and began a continuation of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] in [[September 2015]].

==Contact Chris==
{{Protip|Chris has moved out of the Rental House, so don't try to send crap there.}}

; I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be [[Megan]]/[[Jimmy Hill]]/[[Jesus]]/[[Michael Snyder]]. Can I have his e-mail?
: It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.<ref>[[Kacey Call 23]]: "I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list."</ref> Recently, however, his decrying of "internet trolls" in his [[Sonic Boom Protests#E-mail to SEGA|most recent e-mail to Sega]] seems to note that he is finding time to use his e-mail account now, so you might have a scant chance of rattling him off there.

; What are his dox?
: Chris's previous dox can be found [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|here]] and [[dox|here]]. Chris's dox after the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction of his house]] can also be found [[Rental House|here]] and [[Brushfire Video|here]], but given that Chris has moved back to 14 Branchland Court, don't expect him to get a response from crap sent to the house.

==Miscellaneous==

; What does he smell like?
: According to [[Emily]], "rotten watermelons." According to [[Robert Simmons V]], a variant of the [[Colossal Chan|homeless person]] stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of [[Axe]]. Point is, [[Chris and Health#Hygiene|Chris smells awful]].

; What's the deal with Chris's [[Heterochromia|eyes]]?
: According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic form]]. A cursory examination of [[:File:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|this image]] demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

; What's the deal with the striped shirts?
: Many of Chris's shirts were bought by [[Barbara|his mother]] from the Salvation Army and Goodwill.<ref>[[Mailbag 42|Mailbag #42]]</ref>. Following Chris's introduction to the world of internet trolling, [[Chris and Fashion|his wardrobe went through several iterations]] before eventually settling on its current [[tomgirl]] form.

; What's the deal with the [[Shirt#Wrist warmer|yellow thing]] on the back of the [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] chain?
: It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin.<ref>E-mail from Chris posted in old PVCC thread #162
</ref> — probably due to [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a common trait in [[autism]].

; Does Chris drink or do drugs?
: Chris is firmly against [[Tobacky|smoking]] and drug abuse. For much of his life he was equally strongly opposed to [[alcohol|drinking]] as well, but a video of him drinking a [[semen|salty]]-tasting [[Long Island Iced Tea]] turned up in [[2009]] and he has since softened his stance, saying he is a "social drinker"<ref>Mailbag_16#Alcoholism</ref>. He has since been known to drink [[6 June 2010|Budweiser]] and [[100 2281|Kahlúa]].

; What's this about Chris hating ''[[Harry Potter]]''?
: As Chris mentions [[Mailbag_7#Harry Potter: total spaz|here]] and [[Mumble 2|here]], Chris's distaste for the boy wizard is likely derived from what he perceived as its "competition" with his beloved ''[[Pokémon]]''. However, he did own a PS1 ''Harry Potter'' game, and his stance softened under [[Jackie]]'s influence.

; What's this about Jimmy Hill?
: [[Jimmy Hill]] was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in [[November 2008]] at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his [[Sonichu]] character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of the very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] from [[December 2009]].

: Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to [[Liquid Chris|the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler]]. Hill died in 2015.

; Why does Chris call his welfare check a "[[monthly tugboat]]"?
: The "tugboat" is one of Chris's [[CWC-isms]]; impenetrable mangled figures of speech that he either uses to avoid uncomfortable subjects or, in this case, because he thinks they are clever. "Tugboat" is derived from the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $1,000 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a [[Wikipedia:Tugboat|tugboat]]—coming in for him.

; Where does Chris currently publish new content?
: His [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|original site]] and [[CWCipedia]] are dead. As of 2016, he is active on [[Facebook]], [[Twitter]], [[Etsy]], [[eBay]] and [[YouTube]].

; Where can I learn more about this guy?
: Well, right here at [[CWCki|this fine wiki]], of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the [[Megan|Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two]]. Other resources include:

:* [https://www.cwckiforums.com/ The CWCki Forums] - The official forum of this fine wiki.
:* [[cwc|/cow/]] imageboard
:* [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu (IRC chat)]]
:* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] (not quite as reliable)

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Special]]

Pregnant Act

2017-04-18T20:01:43Z

KeithKeiser: fixed grammar

[[File:JuniorMoviePoster.png|thumb|The upcoming blockbuster movie]]
{{Quote|I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture!|[[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref>}}
'''Pregnant Act''' is a creepy video [[Chris]] uploaded on 18 [[October 2010]]. The scene begins with what amounts to a [[Chris and reality|biologically impossible]] (on multiple levels) self-impregnation, Chris having received what is presumably [[Jackie]]'s egg cell, which he has fertilized with his own [[navy]]. The 'pregnancy' is given form by padding under Chris's shirt, including the [[Plush Breasts|plush breasts]].

Having effectively screwed himself, the next scene has Chris on his back, futilely attempting to right himself. Next comes the birthing scene, Chris now pointing the camera at his own crotch, and completing the birth by tossing a [[Li'l Chris|teddy bear]] onto his knees.

Finally, Chris has his stomach exposed, and the plush breasts stuffed down his [[Muscle bra|sports bra]], while he forces the bear to suckle from his teat. The "newborn baby" then says its first words.
[[File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg|thumb|right|A high school essay in which Chris wrote about how it would feel to be pregnant]]

Chris removed the video the following day, and uploaded a newly recorded version shortly after.

The video was inspired by the supposed travails of [[Jackie]]'s aunt and uncle.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 18]]</ref> It is also perhaps coincidental that a 2015 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' entitled "Stewie is Enceinte" is about Stewie injecting himself with Brian's DNA, getting pregnant and giving birth through all his orifices to bizarre half-human half-dog hybrids, despite the fact that he is a baby.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yz4RT_KP3Zk}}
| stardate = 18 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{VerticalRedYellowShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}, {{K-SwissShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2281]]
| next = [[Breast Cancer Awareness]]
}}

{{quote|I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's female!}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:128747284554.png|thumb|Artist's rendition]]

Oh my god... look at me! Huh! My girlfriend reverse-impregnated me! [[Honor roll|The egg came out of her, and got into me!]] When we were having sexxxsss... oh my gosh. Goodness... [''camera fumbling then jump cut'']

Hm. Ugh. Goodness it's difficult to get up these days, with number one in the way. Oof! Little heavy made me fall down. Made me fall down! [''camera fumbling''] Maybe I try... and see if get up. Oop! I fell down again! [''mumbling''] Let me tell you... oof! Ahh! [''grunts, then jump cut'']

Oh my goodness, it's a big one! [''grunts, strains, and mumbles''] Must watch breath... one two three! [''gasps''] EEeeaaahhhhgh! Ah! [''throws a stuffed bear onto lap''] Well! Congratulate me! I gave birth to a little beautiful baby... bear. And she's [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|female]]! Goodness... wow. [''jump cut'']

It's baby's open that's right little child. Eat all you want out of there. You eat all you want out of there. [''an electronic toy says "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Ha! First w-her first words! [[30 August 2009|We]] love you too!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2281]]|nextlink=[[Breast Cancer Awareness]]}}

==The Remake==
Chris removed the original video on 19 October, and uploaded a new version of the video shortly after. Now with improved lighting, and a more detailed explanation. And more creepiness, too.
{{Infobox/video
| name = Pregnant Act
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TG21KvHC8gE}}
| stardate = 19 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|M-Preg}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedGreenShirt|text}}, {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[A Public Announcement for Congress]]
| next = [[A Workout]]
}}

{{quote|Little baby's drinking my breast milk. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya?}}

=== Transcript ===

Oh my goodness [[Chris and English|me look at this]] I had sex with my girlfriend and it backfired on me, can’t believe this. Her egg went inside my [[Duck|dick]] and now it’s- now it’s been in me for like 9 months.

Engh man I’m gonna get these stretch marks in a little while…ummgh dang. egh [[Obesity|laying down it’s hard for me to get back up again]]. Eeeaauuh, ung ung ung! Ehh! Well that was a major push, hope I didn’t lose it there! Erro here come- aaa ahhh think [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it’s coming out the butt]]…think it’s coming out the - aaaaa one two three one two three. Engh! Engh! ENNGGHHHHHAAA!

Well will you look at that, I gave birth to a beautiful baby... girl bear! [''Chris has his shirt pulled up, exposing his muscle bra and pale fish-belly, the bear is pressed up against the plush breasts''] You- no- little baby's drinking my [[Navy|breast milk]]. Yeah you enjoy that don’t ya? My lil- my lil girl.

[''an electronic toy says "I-I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"''] Hmm...

==References==
<references/>
{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Public Announcement for Congress]]|nextlink=[[A Workout]]}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{videos}}

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-18]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-18]]