CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and sex

2011-02-21T12:09:55Z

Koba:

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref>[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref>; this is undoubtedly due to his experience with Kimmi<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Aiko-Chris%27s_New_Bird.jpg]</ref> and Officer Nasty. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref>[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a [[Obesity|fat, dumpy]] psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|feces]] mixed with [[Axe]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it".<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.{{cite}} Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public,<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> showing that, for Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the [[Wikipedia:Clitoris|clitoris]].

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|fat ass]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
It is possible that Chris only claims to be STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active heterosexuals. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most single men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most boys figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate".
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, it makes him straight.

Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "[[Wikipedia:Asexuality|asexual]]" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref> It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as [[homos]]exuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the [[Mailbag]] responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against [[Wikipedia:bestiality|bestiality]], then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. It is heavily implied that Chris masturbates while drawing these pictures.

Chris has also suggested that [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]] from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a [[Wikipedia:Furry fandom|furry]] is still debated.<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}
==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a [[Wikipedia:Sexually transmitted disease|sexually transmitted disease]].

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

Chris at first claimed that he would not have had sex with these ladies, insisting that he was seeking his true love, not simple hanky-panky. Later however he would, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], attempt to acquire the contact details of the hookers. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his troll disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire 3 prostitutes, given mounting evidence that Chris is focused entirely on losing his virginity rather than finding a girlfriend, it seems far more likely that he was considering attempting to hire at least one of Brian's girls.

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris decided to offer himself up as a male escort. He describes himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", and with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[http://www.escorts.com/member/2716193/CarlosChantor "Carlos Chantor" profile on escorts.com]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the [[Megan]] saga all the way to [[PandaHalo]]. Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies. Due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] to commit the act, it is highly unlikely that Chris will ever rape anyone.

Despite this reassurance, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

JenkinsJinkies

2011-01-31T10:40:28Z

Koba:

'''JenkinsJinkies''' (a.k.a. Junior Jenkins) was Chris's [[Disguises|trollsona]] from May to late August [[2010]].

==CWCki==
[[image:Fatjenkins.jpg|thumb|The great JenkinsJinkies]]
JenkinsJinkies began as another CWCki account, made by Chris to confirm that the antenna he had removed from his [[PS3]] wasn't a bug in [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked]], a bait page made by [[Clyde]]. It was quickly discovered that JenkinsJinkies was Chris, and [[Trollin Train|appropriate action]] was taken soon afterwards. Clyde contacted Chris through JenkinsJinkies' [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|talk page]], and it resulted in a short correspondence between the two.

{{quote|I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her [[china]] was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.|JenkinsJinkies, the 14 year old [[homos|sodomite]] who had gay sex at the age of 7 and lost his [[virgin|virginity]] to a High School student beforehand. Who also lives directly [[14 Branchland Ct.|across the street]] from Chris.}}

Chris believed playing a troll who was [[Chris and Reality|legitimately]] afraid of Chris's wrath would totally convince [[Clyde Cash]] himself that he was legit. He also unsuccessfully tried to scare the trolls into thinking he was plotting to hunt them down, one by one. Several [[/cwc/|lesser]] trolls believed they were the first ones to realize that JenkinsJinkies was Chris, and blew the whistle every now and again, but such leaks were uncommon and generally most trolls played along.

==Trollin Train==

As the trolls began to tug on JenkinsJinkies's marionette strings, a [[Trollin Train|trolling forum]] entirely dedicated to making Chris paranoid was established. Despite all posts, members and threads being only a few days old, Chris was [[Naive|completely convinced]] that it was the official trolling hub, where all the nefarious plots made against him were conceived.

As if it weren't obvious enough that Junior Jenkins was Chris, he also went out of his way to praise Chris for his ingenious schemes for halting the trolls wicked plans and/or dissuade the trolls from even trying - often combining the two themes into the same post.

{{quote|I have to hand it to him, he makes it Frustrating to Troll Him. It's like we have to PAY AirFare or HitchHike Dangerously and do it Old-Fashioned with Accordian Cameras and shit like that.|JuniorJenkins, [[#Damn! (Wed 25 Aug 2010 5:42 am)|Trollin Train]].}}

==See also==
*[[Trollin Train]]
*[[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]]
*[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/User_talk:JenkinsJinkies JenkinsJinkies' User Talk page]
{{stub}}

Talk:Coffee Place

2010-07-05T10:46:45Z

Koba:

== Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama. ==

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== This is a confirmed CWCSighting ==
The first one. Now stop harassing this user Christ almighty. god damn you people overanalyzing shit. now if anyone touches this user I will BAN them. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:15, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thanks Clyde. I'm not the most active member on here, but goddamn some people get way too SERIOUS BUSINESS over some shit. This, even if it does have some non-CWC info in it, and even if it was a small sighting, is still useful, and furthermore interesting. [[User:NoVu|NoVu]] 05:58, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
*I think some people are just jumpy since Chris found another way to lock himself out of the internet. We must also accept and protect the brave volunteers who brought us sightings of the manchild. I think a banner confirming this sighting as valid might do good into dampening some "enthusiastic" reactions. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:10, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

== This Amanda person seems interesting enough. ==
Chris should probably do something against her. Perhaps the LULZ that come out of both. Chris has nothing to lose because he has no job because he's a lazy piece of shit, but Amanda has her job. I wonder if Chris could get her fired lololol. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 03:43, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Haha yeah, that would be lulzworthy. I hope he does. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 05:54, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::Wait wouldn't there be implications if it this site was linked to influencing Chris to get Amanda fired? This site may get shut down if Chris goes and does something like this. I'd say lets just hope Chris leaves this Amanda be.([[User:Drlugae|Drlugae]] 13:18, 4 July 2010 (UTC))
:::Good point. I guess we don't want Chris doing it. That god he doesn't read these because something like that would be the death of this website. -- [[User:Mexican|Mexican]] 16:43, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
::::That could be a total disaster for us and the CWCiki itself. Though we probably don't need to worry about that too much: Chris is way too much of a coward to ever try messing with her Amanda, so we should be safe-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:01, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::It would be even worse if he recorded it so he had evidence that he was there.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:41, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:I am worried that Chris will go back to this place and yell at that Amanda and tell her that she's a Pickle Agent. It could be a total disaster for all the trolls out there just like Kei said. If Chris tells her she's a Pickle Agent and causes a ruckus, then the government will have another piece of evidence to shut down all of the trolls. But I wonder if Chris will have the balls and manliness to go confront her and get her fired, hahahahahahahahaha. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 03:50, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
::Honestly, I don't think he has the guts to go through with his little plan. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:01, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Yeah, Chris is all hot air. He's too weak and cowardly to put up any sort of fight, be it mental or physical. I bet his parents must be so ashamed of him for not fighting his own battles and hiding behind them all the time.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:33, 5 July 2010 (UTC)
::::It's kinda ironic, isn't it? Chris always bags trolls for not having the guts to meet him face to face, and then he goes and shows how gutless he is by not facing this obviously evil bitch. He's no better than us. [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 10:36, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

==Do not edit==

Hey guys, we want to give this information time to get digested by the head trolls so don't edit it at all unless you're an admin please. If you're an admin you can do what you want. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 09:48, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:I've already added the significant information to [[List of places that have banned Chris]].--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:21, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

==Is this going to be formatted at some point?==

Am I being a slow in the mind or does this page not make a lot of sense? I get that it is being preserved for now but is anyone going to contextualise it/make it read better in the future? Sorry if I'm missing some context that makes this funny but to me it reads like it's been pasted here from ED. --[[User:Koba|Koba]] 10:46, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

CWC address to Royal Board

2010-05-28T21:03:42Z

Koba:

'''CWC address to Royal Board''' is a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 1 [[February 2010]]. [[Chris]], having been told that [[Sonichu]] breaks a UK [[Chris and copyright|copyright]], attempts to make his case to the "Royal Board of Certification". (Note that no such body exists; UK copyright is actually monitored by the [[Wikipedia:United Kingdom Intellectual Property Office|United Kingdom Intellectual Property Office]].)

For some reason, Chris seems hesitant to mention that Sonichu is based off of [[Sonic]], as though he's dimly aware that he's plagiarizing like crazy.

It should be noted that Chris [[Mailbag 48#This guy's life is in shambles, but Chris was STRESSED!|promised]] to make a video for one of his fans in the Mailbag two days prior to this. Chris has forgone this opportunity to help this fan in his dire hour of need in favor of doing nothing for two days, and then making a video in which he bitched at some guy in England. Chris is a monster.

Oddly, Chris deleted the original video mere hours after uploading it.

==Watch==
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC address to Royal Board
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rCoucYUrhhU}}
| Stardate = 1 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| subject = {{Comics|text}}, {{Racism|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| shirt = {{RedStripeShirt|text}}
| previous = [[29 January 2010]]
| next = [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.]]
}}
===Transcript===
''[sighs]'' Good afternoon. This, uh, message is for the, uh, Royal Boileda Certification over in, uh, London, England, and, uh, I am addressing this to Miss Abigail Budock, I believe it is.

Anyway, um, my name- anyway, I am Christian Weston Chandler of [[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia is for Virgins|Virgina]], United States of America, and I am making this video to address the awa-I-ehh- I am allowing Ms. Budock and her company to represent me in the court, in this gub- in issue- in this international issue between us. Between my Sonichu, The Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, of the United States of America, and [[Inos|Soni-chew, the eclectic... Heeedge... Hog. Poke! Mon of London, England.]]

Firstly, I would like to emphasize that, enough which- I would like to emphasize is uh, characters uh, character differences and moral differences. My Sonichu is actually a hedgehog, with electrical powers. With the topical combin- with the combination between uh [[Sonic|another hedgehog]] and a Pika- a Pikachu, of who- [[fail|of which uh, I will not mention right now]]. But anyway, he- anyway he and his girlfriend [[Rosechu]], another Electric Hedgehog Pokemon live in the city of [[CWCville]], Virgina, United States of America, and they save... the day, and the city, and people's lives what-whatever they can. Between the original Sonichu and Rosechu, they all- they have- they currently have their own family life. They have [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|three children]]. And also we have other Electric Hedgehog Pokemon that are around, that live in and around the city of CWCville doing the same thing, also odd jobs and everything.

And then we got uh, Mr. Blockly's Soni-chew, we're talking about a Jamaican drug dealer here. Just that, lives in some other city, possibly in London. In- in London. Anyway, eclectic! High on the hedge! And high on the hog. You want some of this Poke, mon?

Anyway big- anyway big humongous differences, which the two are nothing similar, at all. And even from the vague- from the vague description I have of the, uh, of Mr. Blockly's version, we're talking about- he would look something like that.

[''Chris holds up a page 70 of [[Sonichu 10]], which depicts an amazingly [[Chris and Race|racist]] image of a stoned black man.'']

And between my Sonichu, curr- which in this page he's currently in his super form after using the Chaotic Crystals. Big differences between the two. So I move that we uh, make them, allow them to coexist internationally as mine, as my Mr. Chandler's Sonichu and Mr. Blockly's Soni-chew. And besides in the space because that's how it is recognized on his. Two words versus my one word.

And uh, anyway, also I would like to uh, before I conclude I would like to address this to Mr. Blockly, [''dramatic glasses removal'']. From what I have seen so far, you are obviously a [[troll]] trying to pick on me. And after I have shared about 10 years on the internet with my Sonichu towards the worldwide fanbase, and I have a lot of fans, forums, even pages that slander, that have slandered my good name. And the current [[CWCipedia]], which you can find all my- all my original comic pages on there. Originally hand-drawn, and then the text edited for easier reading.

Hmm. But anyway, with that again, Ms. Abigal Budock, you may represent me in the high courts over there in England, and I appreciate y'all's time. Thank you.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[29 January 2010]]|nextlink=[[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.]]|}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

{{Captain's Log}}

Address to Mao, the S.O.B.

2010-05-16T23:51:32Z

Koba:

After seeing new ads depicting gay porn on [[CWCipedia]], [[Chris]] decides to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] Mao.

==Video==

{{tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Address to Mao, the S.O.B.
| image = {{#ev:youtube|N0nTrlgRnc0}}
| Stardate = 1 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Homosn.png]] [[Homos]], [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Redstripeshirt.png]] Red Stripe
| previous = [[CWC address to Royal Board]]
| next = [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]
}}
===Transcript===
This message is to Mr. Mao of the god-dang [[Asperpedia]]. Your ad right now! Look what you have up there on the CWCiki- on my [[CWCipedia]]! That's just wrong! [''Voice becomes very high pitched''] You're imitating [[Jack Thaddeus]] now! And I do not appreciate it!

Either you remove your ads altogether, or I will have your head on this. I'm already having your head on this because, as much as I have a [[curse]] on- on- possibly have a curse on me, you! [''Throws up double claws, backs away from the camera, whispers''] are gonna get cursed as well.

[''Still making shamanistic hand gestures''] Addressed to Mr. Mao of the Asterpe- Asperpedia! Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-{{RageQuote|HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!}}
[''Grabs the camera, takes on a commanding voice''] [[Death threats|Take down the ads! Or ''prematurely'' '''ROT!''']]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC address to Royal Board]]|nextlink=[[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

Talk:Sydney Kirsch

2010-05-14T14:54:16Z

Koba:

==Article Name?==

What do we think about the current article name? Can anyone think of a better one? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:08, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
*I say Sydney Kirsch would be an appropriate name. --[[User:Shearod]] 0:12, 13 May 2010 (CST)
*Champthom mentioned this. He noted that most troll name pages (such as Vanessa) tend to be about the troll, while the other information goes under a saga page. Sydney was far, far too short, private and fail to be a saga IMHO. Yet her personality is very unrelated to Chris and therefore shouldn't be awarded its own page (AKA Matthew Devoria). Sydney can be summed up in a few sentences. Yet, there are phone calls as well as emails, so it's not clear cut. I considered 'Sydney Trolling Effort', 'Sydney Trolling Fail' and a few others. This was the most neutral I could think of. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:01, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
:: I'm sorry, but this definitely can't count as a saga. Way to short, and nothing noteworthy came out of it. At best, it's a crank call. It was a noble attempt, but it seems even Chris has gotten tired of his sweetheart search... We either need to bring liquid out of retirement or have Alec raise the stakes by taking control of sonichu. Once they best him, the depression should drive him back into his ill-fated sweetheart search --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:19, 13 May 2010 (UTC)
::*I completely agree and said as much. It's not a saga. It's a little more detailed than a prank call, given the leadup, but... Hmm. I'm still inclined to go with it's current name, although it still doesn't seem right to me. Beat is perfect, maybe he can provide a name. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 22:39, 13 May 2010 (UTC)

I agree, Sydney Kirsch is fine. On a side note, Chris mentions he has access to pvcc?
*Well, it could be that or EDF, or somewhere else, but Chris didn't specify which forum he got the info from. [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 05:56, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
*One, sign your fucking posts. Two, he has no access to PVCC. He reads EDF and checks the front page of the CWCki every now and then. That's it. Three, reverse my username.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*kruLraoM? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:15, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*ʞɹnןɹɐoɯ?--[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 08:24, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*emanresu ym?--[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 08:52, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Sydney Kirsch makes sense. Should I add a small synopsis to [[Trolls]] for her? I figure unlike Jackie it's indesputable even for Chris that Sydney was a troll. [[User:Koba|Koba]] 11:38, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
::*Sure, if you feel she's worthy of a brief mention. Just mention that Clyde threatened her into doing it and that Chris found her out by reading the troll forums. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 14:01, 14 May 2010 (UTC)
:::*Done. [[User:Koba|Koba]] 14:54, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

Trolls

2010-05-14T14:53:29Z

Koba:

{{quote|...dang dirty trolls!|[[Chris]], [[Cwcville.com]] (since deleted)}}
{{quote|What a world we live in, with such trolls in it.|[[Blake]], in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''}}

[[Image:REALChrisChanAndFriends.jpg|center]]

[[Image:Faceless Trolls.png|thumb|120px|The Furies.]]

'''Trolls''' are the various individuals of all races, colors, and creeds united under a common goal - to ruin the Internet's most beloved and most hated autistic manchild, [[Christian Weston Chandler]].

Trolling schemes by these individuals have ranged from hacking CWC's websites to making him take [[Nudes|nude pics]] and more.

==Pre ED==

It is notable that Chris was trolled IRL before his discovery by [[4-cent garbage.com|4chan]] and [[ED]]. It can be argued that the first known trolling of Chris occurred when his life-long-friend-who-no-longer-speaks-to-him, [[Sarah Hammer]], locked him under the house when they were children. The next notable trolling occurred during the infamous mini-date with [[Hanna]] in 2005 which smashed his [[heart level]] to 15%. Around the same time he was also trolled by a girl he contacted through [[MySpace]] named [[Lindsay Kaye]]. There was also possible trolling of Chris through the guestbook on his website from as early as 2003, when "a hot redhead" said that she would meet him outside of [[PVCC]] (either this was epic trolling, or Chris put it on the guestbook himself). And let's not forget about [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] hijinks.

But this was was all child's play compared to what happened next....

== The Few, the Proud, the Elite ==
{{incomplete}}

===Alec Benson Leary===
Creator of [[Asperchu]].

[[Image:SirWilliamMaysOBE.jpg|left|80px|thumb|BILLY]]
=== [[BILLY MAYS]] ===

<s>An individual who trolls as</s> the loud-mouthed salesman <s>of the same name</s>, who types in ALL CAPS. Was declared the mayor of [[CWCville]] by Chris on March 3, 2009 while under pressure from [[BlueSpike#Max|Max]]. Now [[Chris and death|dead]].

=== [[Blanca Weiss]] ===
[[Image:Blanka.jpg|80px|thumb|Blanca's true identity]]

"Blanca" was really a trio of trolls (RickyRicardo123, Ickeriss69, and Nurse Icky-chan) who tricked Chris into sending them nudes, and later his [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]. Ickeriss later uploaded a couple of videos featuring the Sonichu medallion, including a video in which the medallion is destroyed.

Note that while they did get Chris to send nude photos, they are not to be confused with [[Trolls#Lordsillynipples|LordSillyNipples]] who was the first to do so using the same identity.

=== [[BlueSpike]] ===
BlueSpike (AKA "LeonSpike", AKA "Julie", AKA "Max") is a 13-year-old boy who pretended to be Chris's [[sweetheart]] "Julie." He later revealed himself as a troll in a now infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself|hour-long audio recording]] in which he berates Christian and makes him stick his Sonichu medallion in his ass. The incident later started a troll war on [[ED]] and a couple of other troll message boards.

[[Image:BryanBash.jpg|thumb|left|80px|Bryan Bash (right) with your sister (left).]]
=== Bryan Bash ===
Bryan Bash is a close friend of the <s>late</s> great [[Clyde Cash]]. He is the one who [[Hooker incident|sent hookers over to Chris's house]], as well as the person who called during the infamous [[Bob Walks In]] audio file and is responsible for leaking [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|an image]] of Chris having sex with the members of his ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' band (including a [[niggo]]). Additionally, he leaked the [[Father Call]] and the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]] to [[/cwc/]] on 11 November, [[2009]], and he has also leaked conversations between [[Chris]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]].

=== [[Clyde Cash]] ===
[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|80px|Clyde Cash]]

The nefarious [[Clyde Cash]] is the most infamous and legendary of trolls. A vile and reprehensible fellow whose very name strikes fear and revulsion into Chris's clogged heart and inspires admiration from the souls of trolls. He posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], raped Chris's beloved [[PandaHalo]], and performed many more amazing feats about which songs shall be written and the minstrels shall sing of in the ages immemorial. <s>He died an honorable death in the line of duty, and is remembered for his brave and fearless service for Anonymous everywhere. "Now cracks a noble heart; Good night, sweet prince."</s>

P.S He came back to life.

=== [[Emily]] ===
A brave soul who went on a date with Chris. She was later saved by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Jew in the Pickle Suit]].

=== [[Evan]] ===
A drawfag and 4channer who provoked the fury of Chris and unleashed his dark side, showing us Chris's weak spot. He later became the creator of [[Simonchu]], who was stolen by Chris and warped into [[Simonla]], sparking a long and furious war that would pit [[CWCipedia]] and [[Asperpedia]] into a fierce rivalry.

=== [[Jack Thaddeus]] ===
The possible successor (and gay lover) of Clyde Cash and is responsible for various [[PS3#PlayStation Network|PSN]]-related trollings and also for the [[CWCipedia]] ads.

=== The Jew in the Pickle Suit ===
An IRL pickleman who answers to Clyde Cash. He saved Emily from the clutches of Chris.

[[Image:CChanSonichuCWC.jpg|thumb|80px|The REAL Chris]]
=== [[Liquid Chris]] ===
<s>A [[YouTube]] troll who is known for doing a spot-on impersonation of Chris-chan.</s> The TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan and creator of the popular comic character Sonichu. He was impersonated by an angry troll named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] who made outlandish claims that he was the real Chris.

=== Lordsillynipples ===
The epic winning [[ED]] troll, who was responsible for impersonating [[Blanca]] and being the first to obtain the now [[Pickles|infamous Chris-chan Noodz]] on September 11th, 2008, along with [[Chris's DVD]]. She is also responsible for creating the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]].

=== Mao Ling ===
The webmaster of [[Asperpedia]]. He earned several [[death threats]] and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curses]] due to associating with Alec Benson Leary, in spite of not doing anything to Chris at all. Needless to say, after Chris started [[15 January 2010|including Mao in his threats]] for no real reason, Mao joined the trolling scene, with a series of videos and CWCipedia ads made to piss him off. Mao is also responsible for hijacking the CWCipedia and opening the site to edits by TRUE and HONEST fans of Sonichu.

=== Sean August Watley ===
The author of [[Sonichu is Dead]], [[Sonichu is Gay]] and [[Moon-Pals]] (all now on Asperpedia). He also became Chris's target by association with Alec. For some reason though, Chris said that he 'had less offense with Sean', despite Sean going out of his way to offend him more than anyone else.

=== [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] ===
Troll who managed to invoked Chris's wrath on [[Surfshack Tito|two]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|separate]] occasions by hacking his PSN and taking the blame for ruining Chris's slim chances with the [[wallflower]].

=== [[Sydney_Contacts|Sydney Kirsch]] ===

A young Australian girl who, under coercion from [[Clyde Cash]] attempted to gain Chris's trust and convince him to continue answering the CWCipedia mail bags. In an unusual twist Chris discovered Sydney's plans after reading about her on an unnamed troll forum. She is presumed dead after failing to carry out Clyde's orders.

[[image:Vivian.jpg|thumb|80px|Vivian]]

===[[Vivian Gee]]===
The creator of the ''Sonichu'' [[audiobooks]] and various other Chris-related videos and cousin of Clyde Cash. A former [[White Knight]] who turned troll after she realized Chris was a [[Vivian Gee E-mails|hopeless, thick-skulled moron]].

==Devil Trolls==
[[Image:DevilTroll.jpg|thumb|left|100px|Artist's depiction]]

Aside from several notable figures above, '''Devil Trolls''' are mysterious, evil creatures that appear in Chris's ''[[Sonichu]]'' comic series. These creatures are first mentioned in [[Sonichu 9]] and make their first full appearance in [[Sonichu 10]].

Like many beings within Chris's comics, the Devil Trolls are inspired by his encounters in real life. Devil Trolls represent the various trolls that have given him such [[stress]] over his lifetime. This is shown when Chris encounters a set of them attacking a room containing his stuff from one of his earlier websites.

The Devil Trolls make their first, mentioned appearance as some sort of grass protrusions taking away the fallen "[[IBAChandler]]" after Sonichu defeats him in Sonichu 9. They make their full appearance in Sonichu 10, as [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] encounters them inside a room containing his pictures from his various websites. Seeing as Chris can't create anything without ripping off original designs, Devil Trolls resemble those old Troll toys, minus their gems, with long tails and demon like wings. They also sport sharp teeth.
{{clear}}

== Trolls trolling trolls and other faggots ==

=== Geneva ===
A TRUE and HONEST [[pedofork]] whose [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|days are numbered]]. [[Parody|Parodied]] Chris by [[Christian Weston Chandler#Discovery by Encyclopedia Dramatica|taking credit for]] the CWCki's [[110mb|downtime]] in mid-August 2009.

=== [[Svenka]] ===
A now inactive [[white knight]] who made several anti-troll videos on YouTube.

=== The Pinch ===
YouTube counter-troll who made several empty threats to various cwc trolls, first threatening them that they would get a visit from the [[Jerkops|Partyvan]].<ref>[[User:Anonymous/The_Pinch#As_.22CriticalMindz.22]]</ref> When this didn't work, he began making more threats, each less believable than the last.<ref>[[:File:Pinch_1.PNG]]</ref><ref>[[:File:Pinch_4.PNG]]</ref> Despite his efforts to seem intimidating, Pinch's tendency to delete his YouTube accounts within minutes of contacting a troll made him an even less credible (albeit annoying) figure. He finally fucked off when a few clever trolls began impersonating him.<ref>[[:File:Pinch_3.PNG]]</ref>

== Motivations ==
Many people troll Chris, or try to, and for many different reasons. Some do it to win the admiration of online communities like 4chan or Encyclopedia Dramatica. Some see it as a just response to his sexism, homophobia, welfare-leeching, and other offensive behavior. Some are genuinely sadistic — Chris is an especially easy and entertaining target for bullying. Some are driven by intellectual curiosity, and troll Chris as a way of trying to figure out how he ticks. Some just do it as a hobby, a way of passing the time.

Chris himself has a more simplistic view of what motivates his enemies. When a [[Mailbag]] correspondent asked him to explain why he's trolled, and why so many people seem to hate him, Chris had this ingenious response:

{{quote|"Tehy're just jealous that they did not think of [[Sonichu]] first, or that I am more [[Chris and art|Artistically Talented]] than they are."|[[Chris]], [[Mailbag 5]]}}

This is consistent with the advice given many children who are IRL trolled in school: that bullies are merely jealous of you, and want to see you react unfavorably (however, since most trolls/bullies are usually in position far superior to the one being teased, it is a bit redundant). Since Chris [[Count Graduon|never moved past]] [[Manchester High School|high school]] mentally, he still believes he is hated because he is so much better than everyone else, and not because he exudes [[fail]] and is offensive towards everything and everyone.

From his own attempts to illustrate trolling, it's obvious that Chris has no concept of how it works. When he tried his hand at impersonation, he thought that we'd all be trolled if he pretended to be an epic troll and then claimed that no, he's a fat idiot like we always thought. Chris believes that trolling has two steps--pretend to be someone you're not and then "troll" someone by revealing who you really are. This is how his perception of forum trolls operates--[[Silvana]] thinks it's hilarious to pretend to be [[Meg Griffin]], kiss Chris, and then transform once she's out of sight--as a result Chris walks away happy and unchanged, defeating the entire point of "trolling" him. Any sane troll with the power of shape-shifting would have morphed into the most flamboyantly [[homos]]exual looking guy (or failing that, a giant penis) the moment Chris closed his eyes and went for the kiss.

Recently, it seems that he's decided that the majority of his hated trolls are actually homosexuals, combining his two major hates into one massive force of nature. The earliest this is seen is [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag&oldid=3208|a message he wrote] in his Mailbag section, exploding in rage over an added [[Twitter]] and how they could talk about him behind his back. Even more, in his [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|CWCipedia article on the Wallflower]], Chris has also decided that the trolls are also [[niggos|black]].

Thus, in Chris's mind, he is being trolled by homosexual black men who are jealous of his "superior" artwork.

== Sauces ==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[4-cent_garbage.com]]
*[[CWCki]]
*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]
*[[Rollin' and Trollin']]

{{Trolls}}
{{People}}

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Lists]]

User:Koba

2010-05-14T11:48:46Z

Koba:

Hello!

Talk:Sydney Kirsch

2010-05-14T11:38:58Z

Koba:

4 September 2009

2010-05-13T18:15:51Z

Koba:

"'''4 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09042009'''") is a video was made after a gift was sent to [[Bob]] due to his birthday. [[Chris]] also mentions [[Vivian]], showing his displeasure at Vivian wanting to put the [[audiobooks]] on DVD and sell them, demanding that she remove all the videos and shut down her account before she can regain his respect again.

==Video==

{{quote|Vivian, if you REALLY want to Earn My Trust, you DELETE ALL YOUR VIDEOS, then Close Your YouTube Account, and NEVER REUPLOAD THOSE VIDEOS EVER AGAIN!}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 4 September 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|BoShspztoqs}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 04 September 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Shirt = {{BlueThinStriped|text}}
| previous = [[30_August_2009| 30 August 2009]]
| next = [[Sign_Destruction_Video| Sign Destruction Video]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate: [[September 2009|September 4th, 2009]].

Uh, couple-of, uh- yeah, couple of issues. Firstly I wish to, uh... [''removes his [[glasses]]''] extend my [[father]]'s gratitude for the present. Apparently you ordered for him.. and uh, delivered to us Miss [[Vivian]], so [''mumbles''] thank you for that.

Still, it does not excuse you for what you have done to me, you have s-made a mockery out of me. You ma- you behind my back made the stupid [[audiobooks]], and you ar-and you ar-and you are a troll- other [[trolls]] matter of a fact, hey- [''Chris grabs the [[Clown Doll]]''] -remember this clown? [[Clyde Cash]]! Clyde Cash is Vivian's cousin or was since the bastard is dead. And we-and we all know what he did to me. That son of a bitch. But anyway, Vivian is just about as deep as he is because she's- she is no different- 'cos she among those trolls slandered and mocked my good name. Especially in what in her videos that she did against me. [''[[sigh]]s''] So you know what? Equivalent to Clyde Fash, equivalent to Vivian Gee.

[''Holds up clown doll and launches it at [[PSEye]]'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, look Vivian, if you really want to get back on my good side, you'll close your [[YouTube]] account, make sh- and make sure all videos are deleted, and ''never, ever, ever'' upload them or make any money off of them ''ever again''! If you really want to earn back my trust, you'll close your YouTube account after deleting every-last-one-of-your-videos! Delete all your videos. Close your YouTube, then maybe I will let you [''exhales''] be back in my good graces. And I will unblock your e-mail address from my AOL. [''sighs''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Still curse you]]. Because you have done- you have- between you and Clyde Cash, you both have done so much bad against me.

[''Grunts, grabs clown doll, and throws it at PSEye again'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, also, sh-s-stop sending us the dang catalogs and junk. We are shipping up them right back, we are makers-make sure they get sent to [[Wikipedia:Dead letter office|dead letter office]] if they cannot be sent back. So you trolls may as well just stop it! And you can stop the incoming calls because I'm just going to ignore you and delete your voice mails. [''Talks in a high pitch''] "[[White knight e-mails|I have information!]] [''Begins touching his right manboob''] I think you are sexy! I know you're trolls just by talking like that. So just may as well just shut the fuck up! And for the rest of everybody who is [[honest]], true and good; [''makes a V sign''] peace and have a good day.

==See also==
*[[Sign Destruction Video‎]]
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[30 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sign Destruction Video]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}

4 September 2009

2010-05-13T18:12:22Z

Koba:

"'''4 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09042009'''") is a video was made after a gift was sent to [[Bob]] due to his birthday. [[Chris]] also mentions [[Vivian]], showing his displeasure at Vivian wanting to put the [[audiobooks]] on DVD and sell them, demanding that she remove all the videos and shut down her account before she can regain his respect again.

==Video==

{{quote|Vivian, if you REALLY want to Earn My Trust, you DELETE ALL YOUR VIDEOS, then Close Your YouTube Account, and NEVER REUPLOAD THOSE VIDEOS EVER AGAIN!}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 4 September 2009
| image = {{#ev:youtube|BoShspztoqs}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 04 September 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Shirt = {{BlueThinStriped|text}}
| previous = [[30_August_2009| 30 August 2009]]
| next = [[Sign_Destruction_Video| Sign Destruction Video]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate: [[September 2009|September 4th, 2009]].

Uh, couple-of, uh- yeah, couple of issues. Firstly I wish to, uh... [''removes his [[glasses]]''] extend my [[father]]'s gratitude for the present. Apparently you ordered for him.. and uh, delivered to us Miss [[Vivian]], so [''mumbles''] thank you for that.

Still, it does not excuse you for what you have done to me, you have s-made a mockery out of me. You ma- you behind my back made the stupid [[audiobooks]], and you ar-and you ar-and you are a troll- other [[trolls]] matter of a fact, hey- [''Chris grabs the [[Clown Doll]]''] -remember this clown? [[Clyde Cash]]! Clyde Cash is Vivian's cousin or was since the bastard is dead. And we-and we all know what he did to me. That son of a bitch. But anyway, Vivian is just about as deep as he is because she is no different- 'cos she among those trolls slandered and mocked my good name. Especially in what in her videos that she did against me. [''[[sigh]]s''] So you know what? Equivalent to Clyde Fash, equivalent to Vivian Gee.

[''Holds up clown doll and launches it at [[PSEye]]'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, look Vivian, if you really want to get back on my good side. You'll close your [[YouTube]] account, make sh- and make sure all videos are deleted, and ''never, ever, ever'' upload them or make any money off of them ''ever again''! If you really want to earn back my trust, you'll close your YouTube account after deleting every-last-one-of-your-videos! Delete all your videos. Close your YouTube, then maybe I will let you [''exhales''] be back in my good graces. And I will unblock your e-mail address from my AOL. [''sighs''] [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Still curse you]]. Because you have done- you have- between you and Clyde Cash, you both have done so much bad against me.

[''Grunts, grabs clown doll, and throws it at PSEye again'']

[''Jump cut'']

Anyway, also, sh-s-stop sending us the dang catalogs and junk. We are shipping up them right back, we are makers-make sure they get sent to [[Wikipedia:Dead letter office|dead letter office]] if they cannot be sent back. So you trolls may as well just stop it! And you can stop the incoming calls because I'm just going to ignore you and delete your voice mails. [''Talks in a high pitch''] "[[White knight e-mails|I have information!]] [''Begins touching his right manboob''] I think you are sexy! I know you're trolls just by talking like that. So just may as well just shut the fuck up! And for the rest of everybody who is [[honest]], true and good; [''makes a V sign''] peace and have a good day.

==See also==
*[[Sign Destruction Video‎]]
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[30 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sign Destruction Video]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Troll Videos}}

User:Koba

2010-05-13T16:40:20Z

Koba: Created page with 'Hello.'

Hello.

2011

2010-05-13T16:40:00Z

Koba:

[[Image:FutureChris.jpg|thumb|[[Chris]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:SchuRL.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Rosechu.jpg|thumb|[[Rosechu]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Alenci.jpg|thumb|[[Angelica]] in '''2011'''.]]
[[Image:Simonl.jpg|thumb|What [[Simonla]] could have looked like in '''2011'''.]]

Things <s>planned</s> that will happen in '''2011''':

*[[Chris]] is trolled more. ''(obvious that one)''
*[[Bob Chandler]] dies.
*[[Scampers Chandler|Scampers]] runs away. ''(go go scampers! :3)''
*[[Autism|High Functioning Autism]] is officially recognized by the American Psychological Association and listed in DSM-V.
*''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'' & ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu the Game]]'' are released as [[Hex Bawx|Project Natal]] exclusive titles, earning CWC millions and mad [[lie|poon]], but at the his compromise of his beliefs.
*Virginian police discover the corpse of a 14 year old girl who had been raped in the woods. Inside her mouth they discover a "boyfriend token". They also find traces of semen and fanta on the corpse. However, the chemicals in the fanta has completely destroyed any DNA, hindering the investgation. Officer [[Bagget|Marcus Baggett]] is put in charge of the investigation, and personally swears to "mercilessly hunt down" the perpetrator, and bring him to justice.
*Hasbro releases a board game based off CWC's life, dubbed "[[Kick the Autistic]]" which quickly becomes America's favorite game.
*The zombie of [[Ryan Cash]] comes back from the dead to exact revenge on Chris.
*On June 12, 2011, several trollettes encourage Chris to try Heroin. Chris naturally throws out his morals and loves the feeling of the opiates.(KEEP IT RESPONSIBLE, ONLY 7 NEEDLES A WEEK!!)
*Chris goes to the [[Fashion Square Mall]] armed with a [[pickle]]-firing sniper rifle, a [[Nintendo]] DS and in a [[Virgin with rage|Virgin Rage]], massacres several [[Jerkops]] and [[boyfriend-free girl|girlfriend un-free boys]].
*Chris is sent to prison for three months for the massacre described above.
*Chris is raped by Big Bubba, as well as a bunch of [[niggos|niggers]] (and several others) in jail and begins to realize he is indeed a [[homo]].
*With her cat and husband gone and her son in jail, [[Barbara Chandler]] attempts suicide, but due to her extreme size she is unable to kill herself and she expires in a mound of fecal matter.
*After being released from his three month sentence for the massacre of the Jerkops at the mall (damn court system, letting retards off the hook...), Chris dons a [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck]] suit, and beats several people to death with a stainless steel, industrial strength, pneumatic [[dildo]]. He is sentenced to 4 weeks of house arrest.
*[[Trolls]] manage to part Chris from his house trading him some "[[Wikipedia:Jack and the Beanstalk|magic beans]]" for it, and is turned into a pickle farm.
*Chris then kidnaps, rapes and murders every single ones of his past [[gal pal]]s and then attempts to create the perfect [[boyfriend-free girl]] by stitching together their various body parts and trying to reanimate them using his [[PS3]].
*''CWC the Movie'' picked up by Warner Bros and quickly becomes the most popular horror film of all time.
*[[Patti-Chan]] is resurrected by Mayan [[navy|shamen]] in preparation of the [[troll|13th baktun]], the end has begun.
*Chris's carelessness after the kidnapping spree finally gives the Virginian state police the evidence to go after him. After a lenghty car chase in [[son-chu]] down the interstate, the police finally corner him, forcing Chris to make a last stand. As Chris steps out of the car brandishing the megatron pistol, officer Baggett orders Chris to put the gun down. Chris replies "Down where? All thats down there is the ground" and starts charging a curse ye ha me ha attack. Police are forced to open fire. Footage of Chris being gunned down is broadcast live across the country. [[Bagget]] is promoted to police commisioner after this.
*Chris, lying in the hospital and dying of his wounds, feels shame for the first time in his life, causing him to collapse into a singularity of self-loathing.
*Chris is later discovered to be the fabric that holds the entire universe in balance, and with his death, a black hole appears destroying all life, planets and space, all humans turn into puddles of orange <s>Tang</s> Fanta, and giant robots in space commit suicide, creating the second big bang. Basically, the second half of the [[anime]] movie ''The End of Evangelion''.
*[[Clyde]] and [[Vivian]] then emerge from the ashes to create a new autism-free world, and restablish [[The Miscreants]] as the planet's dominating superpower.

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]