CWCki - User contributions [en]

/cow/

2010-06-04T09:12:16Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* External links */ currently all clear

{{Namefaggotry}}

[[Image:Redbackground.jpg|thumb|All it took was words and a red gradient to keep Chris away.]]
[[Image:anonchris.jpg|thumb|Typical /cwc/ user.]]

'''/cwc/''' is a [[Chris]]-related image board that served as a notable hangout for [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] rejects, newfags, [[trolls]], drawfags, trolls, [[Fan: Index| fanfic writers]], trolls, irritating mods, Chris-esque mouth-breathers, and trolls.

Used to be something of a back-up for the PVCC when [[110mb]] was around. The mysterious [[Bryan Bash]] occasionally posts to enlighten some the extreme [[slow-in-the-minds]].

[[Ivy]] has alleged that Chris had discovered the site, based on a tip off from a successful [[white knight]]. Fortunately, his response was that the colors bothered him and that there were "too many words." Given Chris's aversion to reading and bad news, this is probably for the best.

On 1 [[November 2009]], /cwc/, as well as the entire Krapple board, was permanently deleted for CEO having ''terabytes'' of [[anime]] on server space. It was brought back soon after on a spin-off chan on Legi0n.

== Notable goings-on ==
[[Image:Bubblesxsilvana.jpg|thumb|right|Drawfags and illicit substances often combine on /cwc/]]

===Ivy appears===

[[Ivy]] decided to grace the site with her presence, garnering many skeptics and [[Fail|brilliant]] suggestions like 'GET CHRIS TO GROW A BEARD', which eerily enough happened much [[IBA|later]]. Unfortunately, like all the other posts, it was lost in the deletion of Krapple.

===Geneva===

A [[pedofork]], originally confused with fellow failure Kimmo Alms, who went on a holy crusade after listening to a portion of [[Julie Reveals Herself|the infamous revelation]]. Instead of noting the other trolls telling [[BlueSpike]] to essentially calm the fuck down, Geneva started doxing and spamming pornography as hard as his underage self could. His interference caused a long period of downtime on /cwc/, until Geneva was face with being exposed as a serious sick fuck. 110mb also decided to die in a grueling 14 day outage, and Geneva was quick to [[Parody|take credit]], complete with ironic victory speech [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca9p139Z3Lc].

===[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]===

Before it was put up on the [[CWCipedia]], the abomination known as CWCRockin4Way.jpg was posted on /cwc/ by the honorable Bryan Bash, much to the horror and laughter of the bored masses. Some [[Autism|less than intelligent users]] would question it's validity until Chris decided to confirm it personally with his poorly titled [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]].

===Deletion===

{{quote|everything on krapple has been deleted irreversably haev a nice day folks, thanks for the laughz|CEO, summing it up.}}

===The Wallflower===

Whether /cwc/ ever actually contacted the short-lived objection of affection is debated, especially with [[Surfshack Tito]]'s involvement. Regardless, the sheer speed at which her information was obtained provided information about many of her [[Homos|hobbies]] and almost certainly resulted in some harassment. Or, to be fair, [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|more harassment]].

==Typical discussions on /cwc/==

*"Guys, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET A HOOKER FOR CHRIS?"
*"Trolls, please get Chris to do [x], [y], and [z]. Thank you kindly."
*"Mods are faggots."
*"OMG I think I'm wet for Chris for real you guys."
*"OMG I have secret info/live in [[Ruckersville]] for real you guys"
*"THE FIELD AGENTS SUCK ASS"
*"[[BLUESPIKE]] WENT TOO FAR"
*"BLUESPIKE WAS A GENIUS AND I MISS THAT LITTLE GUY"
*"The Field Agents STILL suck ass"
*"[[KACEY]] SUCKS ASS"
*"[[JACK THADDEUS]] SUCKS ASS"
*"THIS BOARD SUCKS ASS"
*"What if Chris derp de derpity derp?"
*"RANDOM SPAM POST (MACROSONIC)"
*[[Asperchu|"I made a "fancharacter", do you think it'll piss him off?"]]
*"Let's hire a tranny hooker to dig up Patti's corpse while yelling JULAAAAAYYYYY! And then we roll him into a carpet and throw him off a bridge!"
*[[Random Access Humor|Random off-topic bullshit]]

==Typical /cwc/ responses==

*"u mad?"
*"Great idea, you should get a tranny to dig up Patti next."
*"I TROLL U"
*"cool story bro"
*"(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)"
*"Fuck off (insert user name of a banned namefag)."

==IRC==
/cwc/ has an irc channel located on Helldive, a network operated by insurgent and former [[ED]] sysop januszeal. Although not responsible for any sagas, it does serve as a hangout for various Krapplefags as well as some [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] members and trolls from various other communities.

== External links ==
*http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/ /cwc/ - the original TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan imageboard, now dead
*[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/, reincarnated]
*[http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=53c027be90707773b4398de31aa77d09&server=irc.helldive.org&channel=%23legi0n Legi0n IRC, the official /cwc/ IRC channel @ irc.helldive.org #legi0n]

{{DEFAULTSORT:cwc}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Talk:/cow/

2010-06-03T03:44:04Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* What happened? */

==so okay==

This thing hasn't really been updated in while, so I switched some shit around. Keep in mind I'm was working from memory (posts are all gone), so details may be missing or inaccurate. Feel free to revert or whatever.--[[User:Jet|Jet]] 03:15, 25 May 2010 (UTC)

Krapple guy suggested that there be a new article and frankly, I agree with him. Ideally let's keep namefaggotry out of this, as Krapple is now an established part of the CWC troll scene (consider the fact that the first reference to [[Ivy]] was on Krapple, and Ivy's first appearance was on Krapple as well, not to mention Clyde frequents the place). Really though, let's not make this a giant plug like the old article was about.

IMHO, this should strictly stick to what the site is about, and notable stuff that has happened on the board (read: first mention of Ivy, leaks, etc.). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:29, 9 May 2009 (CEST)

: Should CEO & the *chan /cwc/ is hosted on have a slight mention as well? --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 14:42, 9 May 2009 (CEST)
:* Don't push it, nigger. ^^ But I agree this needs an article, it shouldn't really have been deleted in the first place. /cwc/ has delivered OC, and they are great when 110 is down. Also, krapple si a pretty cool guy. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 23:27, 9 May 2009 (CEST)

==Goatee pic==
Anyone know/can get a pic of Chris with his goatee? The "Let's get Chris to grow a beard" was a huge Krapple thing for a while so showing a pic so we can be like "OH SHI---------" would be good. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:29, 26 November 2009 (CET)
* Would the video in which Chris shaves his goatee work? --[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]] 00:33, 26 November 2009 (CET)--[[User:Liquidcole|Liquidcole]]
:*No, just a pic dude. We already have a link to a video but a pic so people don't have to watch the entire video would be good.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:42, 26 November 2009 (CET)

== Date ==

Are we sure that it was opened on the 28th? It may just be my time zone (some websites compensate for them, I'm not sure if this is one of them), but the first new topic is dated for the 27th. --[[User:LizardPie|LizardPie]] 17:55, 28 August 2009 (CEST)
*I made that edit so I could be wrong. By all means fix it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:58, 28 August 2009 (CEST)

== Deleted Forever? ==

[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/README This is all that's left of /cwc/] What happened? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 07:21, 2 November 2009 (CET)

Dear god... DEAR GOD, heres to hoping that this is a trick to fool the spammer into leaving.--[[User:El Presidente|El Presidente]] 07:23, 2 November 2009 (CET)

Any word if /cwc/ will come back? --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 07:15, 4 November 2009 (CET)

All I know is that some 'furnigger' as he was referred to spammed the board repeatedly with furry porn. They traced his IP to Briton but beyond that no idea what is going on. [[User:Kast Iron|Kast Iron]] 03:37, 5 November 2009 (CET)

: ''furnigger'' is a term coined by former Patriotic Nigra N3X15 as an alternative to the commonly used ''furfag''. All that aside, it has been assumed based on the evidence that the faggot who was spamming /cwc/ was a reject from [http://www.ta-host.com/macrosonic this forum] whose personal army request for a raid on said forum on KKK's /i/ was shot down. So he got butthurt and decided to spam /cwc/. I can't confirm or deny this at the moment but its the most plausible theory thus far based on the evidence.
:As far as why Krapple was "deleted", I haven't the slightest clue. I assume its not perminant though since the other sub-sites are still up. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 04:47, 5 November 2009 (CET)
*Apparently this here http://legi0n.krapplekomputerkompany.com/l/ is the new /cwc/. Go out and spam to the extreme. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 04:50, 5 November 2009 (CET)
** Apparently its not there anymore. [[User:4plus2|4plus2]] 13:00, 7 November 2009 (CET)
*i'm not really sure what's going on with krapplekomputerkompany, but if you want to find out i guess you should go find krappleguy in his irc channel --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 13:33, 7 November 2009 (CET)
*Anyone have any news on anything? The entire boards have been taken down. If they are gone is there anywhere that non-pvcc people can go to discuss chris? [[User:Kast Iron|Kast Iron]] 08:55, 8 November 2009 (CET)
::*Update: As far as I can til at this point, Krapple & the original /cwc/ board by extension, are both gone. However, /cwc/ lives (sort of). A new board has been made on KKK's sister site, Legi0n. [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc] I appologize for any inconveniances and I'll let everyone know if/when I'm able to get in contact with CEO regarding this matter. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 23:19, 8 November 2009 (CET)

==Renaming==
I think for technical reasons, this really has to be renamed to something like "Krapple." Not to deride them or anything, only that it seems when I try to like to the article as it is, it will go to the subpage "cwc" of whatever page is being linked. Like if I link to this on the [[Sonichu]] page, it'll go to the page [[Sonichu/cwc]]. We can keep it as it is, except remember we have to pipe it to "Krapple" but that's kinda silly. So any thoughts, maybe for a better name to rename it to? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:02, 30 November 2009 (CET)
:Krapple Komputer Kompany? Legi0n? Chris-chan (Imageboard)? idk something like that maybe. --[[User:Anonymous|Anonymous]] 07:48, 1 December 2009 (CET)

== Why link to legion deleted? ==

And references? [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 23:09, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Protection. Chris has passed over the site before, but we don't want him going back any time soon. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:17, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Stupid, because even if Chris finds it it's too many words for him to read. Someone, revert it back. Seriously, people fucking nagging people in IRC or on here to "Where is /cwc/ now?" outweighs the remote chance that Chris is gonna find shit out. He already allegedly reads EDF, he's already discovered this place, Chris believes what he wants to believe. He still insists Ivy and Panda are real, even though CWCki more or less subtly hints at them being trolls. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:08, 24 March 2010 (UTC)

== Tainted soil. ==

Nobody should touch this place, seriously. We are '''highly''' notorious there since Edthehedgehog and his vandalized user page, and now we are prone to floods of inexperienced trolls who think Patti's corpse, tranny hookers, and JUUUUUUUUUUUULAY are still funny. [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/43299.html Even I should be highly concerned as I stirred some RAGE.] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:40, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
:I've been the focus of the Chris-esque RAGE of the /cwc/ anonfags. Stay as far away from these mouthbreathers as possible. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 20:21, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

== What happened? ==
Has anyone else here not been able to acess the site? Any time I click on a link to /cwc/, any link, it says it couldn't display the webpage. This has happened to me on two seperate computers. Is anyone else having the same problem? Has something happened to the site recently? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:52, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

according to some dude on the IRC Channel the place got DDOSED by a love shy. Not sue how accurate that is--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 20:04, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

By a what now? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:26, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
:A Love Shy is basically a pathetic sexist loser who can't get [[China|any]]. [http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/index.php Here's their forum.] --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 20:42, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
::So its a forum full of Chris-Chans then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:30, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
::: Yeah. We insulted them in an epic thread I suggested a raid which some people were gearing up to do then poof forums gone--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 23:24, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Makes sense. Any chance of a restoration in sight? I had been meaning to check out the cxc board and check for updates. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:58, 2 June 2010 (UTC)
:::::I don't know --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 00:20, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

Have any of them claimed responsibility? This seems unexpected from a group who have apparently only made one strike against their [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Love_Shy&action=history ED page]. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 03:44, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Pickle

2010-05-20T05:19:20Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* The greatest image ever. */ new section

==To do==
*References to pickles in comics and by Chris
*E-mails where he says he doesn't want to see pickles on his fan art.

This page is a mess and really needs to be cleaned up. Also really need to document all the references to "pickles", especially since it's a CWCism that's fallen out of favor probably due to troll usage. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:43, 1 December 2009 (CET)

==Merge==
I suggest we merge Duck and Pickle into Penis. All of the CWCisms for [[China]] are on the same page. --[[User:Megaman|''Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 15:14, 29 July 2009 (CEST)

Do it faggot --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 01:14, 31 July 2009 (CEST)

Awwww hell yeah this gonna be one hella page --[[User:Decrumpit|Decrumpit]] 07:42, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
*I disagree. Duck and pickle are distinct in usage (duck refers to Chris's own penis, while pickle refers to it on others and even then he's so disturbed by pickles now he can't even say it) and while they could go on one page, both are too significant that they warrant separate pages. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:00, 31 July 2009 (CEST)
* I would agree with a merge, but Chris's obsession with Pickles goes beyond simple usage. Suffice it to say, Pickles are important enough to have their own article. [[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 18:13, 11 August 2009 (CEST)
* Agreed. Pickles and ducks just don't mix. They're distinct enough to warrant their own pages. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 12:32, 25 August 2009 (CEST)

I'd say merge 'em. We can have a section on Chris's hypocrisy RE: penises, since he seems to LOVE his own (photos, mass debating, drinking what comes out) but hates and fears any other man's. That's the only thing the duck-pickle divide is really about, anyways. Chris's feelings on penises are all part of one Grand Unified Field Theory of Penis, anyways.
[[User:Sygerrik|Sygerrik]] 02:04, 4 November 2009 (CET)

May I add my 2 cents?
I suggest we keep [[Penis]] as a disambiguation page, and fix all the general links mentioned in the articles, so they would point there.
[[Duck]] and [[Pickle]] deserve to have their own articles, imho.
First of all, they mean different things (to Chris): [[Duck]] is his own penis, while [[Pickle]] is someone other's.
All the numerous CWCisms for [[China]] are on the same page because they mean the same thing, and [[China]] is the most popular one.
Second, both words have other meanings which play a major role in Chris's antics:
pickles in general are hated by Chris and even by Sonichu;
Chris talks to ducks and does Donald Duck impersonations.
So, I suggest we keep these two articles.
Maybe each one of them should have a redirection disclaimer at the beginning (like "This article ([[Duck]]) is about Chris's penis. For penises belonging to other people, see [[Pickle]]")
So... these are my 2 cents. [[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 18:35, 18 November 2009 (CET)

==Yo, guys==
I'm a wiki newfag and my only real specialty editing here is fixing grammar and spelling mistakes. As a result I don't know properly how to smack this in, and I don't want to balls anything up. If anyone can find a place for this, I think it seems rather perfect:
[[Image:Tickle His Pickle.jpg|thumb|center|125px|A book of rather sound pickle-related advice.]]
[[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 19:39, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

== The greatest image ever. ==

[http://hawtness.com/2010/05/18/wtf-girl-photos-surprise-cucumber/ I'm just not sure where it would have a place.] --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 05:19, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

/cow/

2010-05-19T06:36:25Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Typical discussions on /cwc/ */

{{Namefaggotry}}

[[Image:anonchris.jpg|thumb|Typical /cwc/ user.]]

'''/cwc/''' is a [[Chris]]-related image board that served as a notable hangout for [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] rejects, newfags, and people who believe ANONYMOUS IS LEGION, etc. Despite the concentrated amounts of faggotry, Krapplefags were notable in being above [[ED]] and [[4-cent_garbage|4chan]] in the [[troll]] hierarchy.

The <s>late</s> great [[Clyde Cash]] used to frequent the board to provide the lowly serfs with [[da update]]. However, some users have reported seeing posts made by Clyde's ghost.

While despised by many PVCC and #sonichu regulars, /cwc/ was notable in that it provided a place to discuss Chris-chan when [[110mb]] went down, which caused both [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[CWCki]] to go offline.

[[Ivy]] has alleged that Chris had discovered the site, based on a tip off from a successful [[white knight]], yet his response was that the colors bothered him and that there were "too many words."

On 1 November 2009, /cwc/, as well as the entire krapple board, was permanently deleted for reasons yet unknown (cancer).

It was brought back soon after on a spin-off chan.

== Notable goings-on ==
{{incomplete}}

=== White knight leaks ===

=== <s>Ivy Appears</s> ===
<s>[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/?reply=1727 The post]</s> BALEETED

=== Closed due to spam ===
Then August 2nd, a counter-troll named [[Geneva]], under the guise of Kimmo Alm, owner of Anontalk.com (a pedophile forum that frequently spams imageboards) suddenly decided to attack the innocent site and flood it with CP. So the KKK set up an anti-Kimmo board about fighting back against him.
Geneva however continued to CP flood it, forcing the [[Trolls#CEO|site admin]] to take the board offline. However /cwc/ returned 9 days later.

=== Closed due to counter-trolls ===
On August 23, 2009, Geneva once again tried to take /cwc/ offline by blackmailing CEO, the admin of KKK. Geneva's bluff was successful as the board was once again indefinitely taken offline.

On August 27, 2009, /cwc/ reopened for business.

=== Deleted forever? ===

On November 1, 2009, the /cwc/ page was missing and on the main webpage was a small README, saying:

{{quote|everything on krapple has been deleted irreversably haev a nice day folks, thanks for the laughz|CEO}}

Reincarnated, then baleeted again.

==Typical discussions on /cwc/==
*"BAWWW, I can't get on PVCC!"
*"how do i irc?"
*<s>"HAY GUYS, LET'S GET CHRIS TO GROW A BEARD!"</s> [[Rollin' and Trollin'|It happened]].
*"I WANT TO PUNCH CHRIS IN THE FACE AND/OR SEE HIM CRY."
*"Guys, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET A HOOKER FOR CHRIS?"
*"Trolls, please get Chris to do [x], [y], and [z]. Thank you kindly."
*"[[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]] IS SO COOL AND I WANT TO BE LIKE CLYDE."
*"[[BLANCA]] SUCKED ASS"
*"[[PANDAHALO]] SUCKED ASS"
*"[[IVY]] SUCKED ASS"
*"THE FIELD AGENTS SUCK ASS"
*"[[BLUESPIKE]] WENT TOO FAR"
*"BLUESPIKE WAS A GENIUS AND I MISS THAT LITTLE GUY"
*"The Field Agents STILL suck ass"
*"[[KACEY]] SUCKS ASS"
*"[[JACK THADDEUS]] SUCKS ASS"
*"What if Chris derp de derpity derp?"
*"RANDOM SPAM POST (MACROSONIC)"
*[[Asperchu|"I made a "fancharacter", do you think it'll piss him off?"]] (success)
*"Let's dig up [[Patti Chandler|Patti's]] corpse!"
*"Let's hire a tranny hooker!"
*"Let's hire a tranny hooker to dig up Patti's corpse!"
*"Let's hire a tranny hooker to dig up Patti's corpse while yelling JULAAAAAYYYYY!"
*[[Random Access Humor|Random off-topic bullshit]]
*"I think thats a samefag."
*"Fuck off (insert user name of a banned namefag)."
*"The background music sucks ass"

==IRC==
/cwc/ has an irc channel located on Helldive, a network operated by insurgent and former [[ED]] sysop januszeal. Although not responsible for any sagas, it does serve as a hangout for various Krapplefags as well as some [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] members and trolls from various other communities.

== External links ==
*<s>[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/ /cwc/ - the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan imageboard] BACK IN BUSINESS</s> BALEETED
*[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/, reincarnated]
*[http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=53c027be90707773b4398de31aa77d09&server=irc.helldive.org&channel=%23legi0n Legi0n IRC, the official /cwc/ IRC channel @ irc.helldive.org #legi0n]
{{DEFAULTSORT:cwc}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Talk:Aspergers (CWCipedia article)

2010-05-17T02:05:19Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* So... */

Categorize this. I was thinking of making a regular Asperger's article but I think it's alright to have this article here since it summarizes Chris's views on Asperger's and why he dislikes ass pies in addition to a regular article to chronicle the drama about Asperger's. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:30, 5 December 2009 (CET)

*Categories added. I figured that since Chris made the post it was important to document it, but I didn't want to take up the title "Aspergers" with this or do a redirect with that title in case someone wanted to make a general article on Asperger's Syndrome and Chris's views about the subject. [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 06:45, 5 December 2009 (CET)

==An obscure passage==

Anyone have any idea what Chris is getting at towards the end of this passage:

<blockquote>"The people who first evaluated me ever even stated that I would never even make it to [[Manchester High School|High School]], much less even Write His Name. Take That and Smoke It, oldest doctors."</blockquote>

"Write His Name"? "Take That and Smoke It, oldest doctors"? WHUT?! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 07:30, 5 December 2009 (CET)

*Chris is probably dramatizing what the doctors said about him. I'd imagine they probably did say he'd need special schooling and couldn't make it in a regular high school, but as far as not being able to write his own name? He was already in elementary school when this was discussed, so I imagine he could already do that at the time.

:And "take that and smoke it" is Chris telling off those who diagnosed him by butchering the cliche, "Put that in your pipe and smoke it." In other words, "so there!" [[User:Alteceastlansing|Alteceastlansing]] 07:46, 5 December 2009 (CET)

==A revealing line==

Noteworthy for a different reason is the very next line:

<blockquote>"I have worked very hard to achieve and maintain [[Honor roll|Honor Roll]] throughout Middle and High School, and even to make the [[PVCC]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|Dean's List]], and fulfill my parents' wishes to work for and earn the [[CADD|Degree and Certificate for Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]."</blockquote>

That's right: not "I worked", but "I ''have'' worked". Chris earned his CADD degree ''over three years ago'', and that's the ''most'' recent of the several "accomplishments" that he lists... yet he's still referring to all of these deeds in the present perfect tense instead of the preterite. I mean, the syntax of his sentences alone is revealing just how much he's living in the past! [[User:Llort|Llort]] 07:30, 5 December 2009 (CET)

I think the last part is especially revealing. To "fulfill [his] parents' wishes"? That he earned the degree not for his own benefit but because his parents wanted him to do it shows that he is content to stagnate and make nothing of himself. Not that we didn't know that, but it's interesting to see him admit it, oblique though his admission may be. --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 09:28, 5 December 2009 (CET)

== Chris showing his superiority by insisting on his social inferiority? ==

"They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such."

- I can't come up with a clever remark about this. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 08:25, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Urge... to throttle manchild... rising... [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 09:02, 5 December 2009 (CET)

I think what Chris is trying to get at is that ASS PIES raise the bar for autistics and that means people will have higher expectations for people like Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:06, 5 December 2009 (CET)

Yeah, I'm sure it enrages him to know, thanks to the existence of Asperger's Syndrome, that there are autistic males who have a lot of friends, get positive female attention, and look like this (yours truly): [http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v170/40/78/32404352/n32404352_31011321_1360.jpg] --[[User:Doomknight|Doomknight]] 09:23, 5 December 2009 (CET)
*I'm sorry, Doomknight, was I supposed to fap to that? I won't because I AM STRAIGHT. I AM NOT A HOMO! I know because I have Sailor Moon posters and fondle Optimus Prime and stuff. [[User:Glorious Tentacularity|Glorious Tentacularity]] 13:37, 5 December 2009 (CET)
* Doomknight, you have to be the second-most-handsome man on the CWCKI. (the most handsome being myself, naturally). In all seriousness, my opinion on this whole thing as a professional high-functioning asperger's personthingunit is: LOLhahahaha oh wow. I was angry for a split second when I first read it, but then it just became hilarious -- [[User:Needlepants|Needlepants]] 01:34, 6 December 2009 (CET)

== How far will this little piece bring us?==
* He's done it! Finally! Those DAMN and SLANDEROUS Asperger's hogging al MY attention! This piece of comedy gold is so incredibly hilarious to me I don't know where to begin. Every time I read a bit I start laughing my ass off. Please keep up the pinning with Asperger's, because I smell a Youtube rant coming. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 11:10, 5 December 2009 (CET)

==WAT==
And to think I had some small piece of pity for CWC before that, some troll's remorse maybe... Oh dear. It's somehow even worse than the "Gay Gene curing" thing, maybe because the latter sounds too fantastic and over-the-top. But this... oh man. Chris, what the fuck.

Not to be too offtopic, a suggestion: maybe we could make a middle-sized article named something like "Chris's intolerance"/"Chris and intolerance"/"Chris's Kampf"/whatever. In it we could make a list (with links) of all examples of Chris's intolerance - racial, sexual, religious, or medical. This list could give people a quick overview of the levels of Chris's intolerance in general, while specific articles (like this one, Niggos, Homos, etc.) would examine each type in depth. How about this, guys? --[[User:GokuGetEm|GokuGetEm]] 12:59, 5 December 2009 (CET)

== What the hell is he talking about? ==

I read the line "And with that, I have not only Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People, but I have gone beyond the Autistic Dreams academically, communicatively and socially." and wondered what he was getting at.
I understand that he thinks he's some sort of fantastic example for autistics everywhere but the part about helping cultivate the first generation of autistic people has me stumped.

Does he think that autism wasn't in existence before his lifetime?
Does he think he is the 'Prototype Autistic'?
Is he confusing 'cultivate' with 'leading'? If so, why the first generation?

This article is a prime example of his ego, jealousy and stubborn stupidity in the face of facts.
Amazing! --[[User:Tarkus|Tarkus]] 22:08, 5 December 2009 (CET)

* He's basically saying that he conquered every symptom, problem and consequence of classic autism. He has made friends, he performed excellent at school, he is popular. He's basically so awesome that he could kick Chuck Norris' ass with his Chun Lee moves despite his autism and as such is a shining beacon of hope and STRAIGHT manliness for every autistic person in the world. Somehow in his demented mind having Aspergers' messes with that. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 00:44, 6 December 2009 (CET)

==Harry Potter==

I added a small passage comparing this to his hatred for Harry Potter, because it seems so fucking obvious. If I'm deluding myself, please say so. It just seemed to fit.[[User:CDiddles|CDiddles]] 02:05, 6 December 2009 (CET)
*That's a pretty good comparison actually. Harry Potter/Assburgers is the bane of his Pokemon/Autism. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 02:13, 6 December 2009 (CET)
:* I wasn't aware that he hated Harry Potter. It seems logical the way you put it. --[[User:Hayate666|Hayate666]] 13:08, 6 December 2009 (CET)
::*Chrissy hates Harry Potter because it "dared" to compete with Pokemon. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 16:12, 6 December 2009 (CET)
::: I wonder how he feels about Digimon, Monster Rancher, and other monster raising games from around the same time. 3 C-quarters says he "doesn't much care for them." --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 00:20, 7 December 2009 (CET)

==Ass Meat==

Is actually one of the best cuts of meat. The most tender meat usually come from the back of the animal, like the rump, rib and loin; I know this shit, I'm a dago --[[User:Robotnik|Robotnik]] 05:22, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

== Oh Lord, I love the pic ==

This is an excellent example of having an image associated with an article. It's pure perfection to have an image of Chris ala Adolf Hitler with the quote "VICTORY OVER AUTISM BELONGS ONLY TO US TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE" as the caption. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:04, 1 March 2010 (UTC)

== So... ==

What exactly makes the two so COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in Chris's mind. Has he ever gone into detail on that? He admits they're similar, and seems aware that Aspergers is less severe than autism, but he's never actually mentioned any traits or characteristics that set autism apart from aspergers.

If this were the good old mailbag days, I would have liked to drill him on this. God dammit I miss the mailbags.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:13, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

It's simple. Chris takes pride in the fact that he's high-functioning autistic. He's become convinced, somehow, that it's incredibly rare for someone to be as high-functioning as he is and sees it as an accomplishment. However, he seems to think that people with Aspergers are even higher functioning. It makes him feel less perfect than he thinks he is. He also thinks that they're faking it to gain sympathy.

Having the two grouped together under the same banner means, to Chris, that he's a faking impostor who is too lazy to improve on himself. More or less, the scientific community just declared that his name is Ian Brandon Anderson.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:41, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

*I understand the whole stealing the limelight and faking impostor aspects, I'm just wondering if Chris ever tried to justify the "Completely different" aside from "Because I said so".--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:15, 17 May 2010 (UTC)
**Is there even a reason for chris's irrational hatred of apsergers? i know its chris we are talking about, but even this must have a more logical origin.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 01:47, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

''"For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea."''

Only after seeing how defensive Chris was getting did it occur to me he's probably just jumping on the bandwagon of mocking these self-diagnosed Aspies I've heard so much about, and added a narcissistic twist to it. If someone ran the ED page on AS by him we might get some interesting information. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 02:05, 17 May 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Autism Awareness E-mails

2010-05-16T18:23:01Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* "Firstly, it was my pleasure to help" */ new section

Oh boy. Clyde, where did you ever get this pile of gold?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:12, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== What's the source? ==

There's no adequate explanation here of how or why this exchange began.

*The Autism Awareness people put up a bunch of ads for Autism Awareness Month and one of those sites happened to be the CWCipedia. Chris decided to put up his own version of the ad disregarding the link between Autism and Aspergers. One of the friendly volunteers decided to e-mail Chris about it. There's the story. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 09:51, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*Also, sign your posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 10:57, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
**Maybe we should start bugging him on Landau-Kleffner syndrome now. Add a little variety to the mix. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 12:15, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
***I think I actually saved his altered autisim awareness ad. Hold on, I'll dig em up.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
*This has also been in the mailbag if I'm not mistaken. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 14:14, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

== "Firstly, it was my pleasure to help" ==

Did Chris really pull that from out of nowhere in regards to Lori's letter, or was something removed from the original before posting here? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 18:23, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Chris and reality

2010-05-14T22:46:51Z

LeninandMcCarthy: He doesn't even properly understand the conspiracy

'''Reality''' is the universe from which [[Chris]] is quite detached. While most fiction operates on the assumption that the fictional world is in some way separate from that which actually exists, for Chris such lines are difficult to grasp. While some might assume Chris is exploring meta-fictional devices, he is nowhere near that clever. He's just too stupid to get reality straight.

==The mechanics of the CWCiverse==
As experts understand it, [[CWCville]] exists outside the confines of normal spacetime; a pocket universe with principal access located through a Narnia-esque portal made of a [[Wikipedia:Dance Dance Revolution|DDR]] pad in Chris's room (why he has a DDR pad in the first place when he has no coordination or stamina is a mystery). CWCville exists as a Utopia ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dictatorship by Chris's standards]), located in Virginia, but not in any tangible sense. The geography of CWCville is incomprehensible by normal means, and it is speculated that only idiot rationale can make sense of this paradox.

Here it is important to remember that by Chris's standards, CWCville is 100% real. When confronted about it, he will acknowledge that CWCville is imaginary, but it is real to him. In the comic — and within Chris's mind — the citizens of his imaginary universe operate with an understanding of the world outside their own. [[Sonichu]] was born of an unholy union and bizarre pseudo-scientific and fantasy bullshit (as in any good sci-fi story, radiation can do anything!) involving Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon, radiation, and a rainbow. He is also the fictional creation and figurative "son" of Chris (despite being of a different species), and is aware of this fact, referring to Chris as his "Father". Theoretically, this should also make Chris the "father" of [[Rosechu]] (and, in fact, Rosechu as well occasionally refers to Chris as "Father", or, more often, "Papa"), but either Chris hasn't given that much thought to the implications of what he writes, or he does not wish to dwell on the obvious [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|incestuous undertones]].

This duality extends to the sentience of CWCville's fictional inhabitants. They are Chris's inventions and act at his bidding, yet he '''fully believes''' they are real, self-willed beings: "I don't have to Justify Sonichu and Rosechu; they can take of that themselves."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>

===Documentary or fictional fiction?===
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|And you thought [[Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|the straw]] was the worst part, just think of the implications...]]

Defining [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics|Sonichu Canon]] is a difficult prospect. [[Christian_Weston_Chandler_(comic_character)|Chris]] (the character) exists not only as Mayor of CWCville, but as writer of the comic depicting its own reality, his Mary Sue, and as creator of the universe. A given character exists in varying states of self-awareness. On one hand, Sonichu is having his real life adventures, but will at other times speak of discussions with fans, ''within continuity''.<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_38</ref>

It's not just the comics that define CWCville. Even Chris's spoken words have the power, in his mind, to reshape his fantasy world in a way that has lasting consequences. It was only with some reluctance that he obeyed [[BlueSpike]]'s order to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] the new mayor, and he subsequently wrote and drew entire pages of the comic intended to reverse the effect of what a sane person would consider meaningless nonsense.

In one sub-episode,<ref>[[Sonichu_4#Sub-Episode_7:_Christian_Chandler_in_.22Off-Target.22]]</ref> Chris incorporates his own misadventures into his fictional universe through the use of a [[Get-Tar Region|stand-in location]]. Within what can only reasonably assumed to be Chris's comic universe, Chris spends his time drawing his comic universe.

Things took an even sharper turn in the land of insanity with [[Sonichu 10]], where Chris addresses the world of [[Asperchu]]. In the Asperchu series, the [[Chaotic Combo]] appeared, though with some changes (the most notable being that [[Wild Sonichu]] is now dating [[Simonchu]] instead of [[Simonla]], as per [[Evan]]'s wishes.) As the comic is hosted on its own wiki, with a regular update schedule, and with fans constantly pestering him about it, the comic essentially seemed as "real" to Chris as his own Sonichu comics. As such he felt the need, in his own series, to clarify that the characters in [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s comic were, in fact, a completely different set of Sonichus and Rosechus that were forced into imitating the Chaotic Combo against their will. Using [[Ultra Sonichu]], he "cures" them of their various problems (in particular, Asperchu's [[Asperger's Syndrome]]), and gives them all a makeover. At this point he then expects Alec to take these events as canon and completely change his own series to accommodate Chris's ridiculous ideas (similar to [[Sonichu 9]], where Chris recreated [[timmys1984]]'s fan promo, and expected the slight changes he added to be implemented to the animations).

It's entirely possible that Chris feels the need to recognize these other comics, because not treating them as "real" (in a sense) makes it more difficult for him to perceive CWCville as "real."

Chris himself, however, isn't above stealing other people's characters for his own nefarious purposes. In [[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!|correspondence with Evan]], Chris comes up with the mad concept that Simonchu (Evan's original character) had traveled to CWCville in an attempt to take his "sister" Simonla back to ECGville (Simonchu's hometown), but was defeated by Wild Sonichu. It's hard to tell what is more shocking: the fact that Chris felt the need to justify Simonla's fictional presence via the fictional conflict with Simonchu, or the blatant [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in misusing another person's character to push his own agenda. The irony is that Evan's main question is if Chris thinks CWCville is real, which this diatribe answered very clearly.

Chris furthers his insanity in an update to his [[CWCipedia]] entry on [[Simonla]].
{{Quote|I had previously stated inspiration from Evan George's Simonchu Character; that was a fabrication, and I apologize for leaving the lie up for this whole time.

Simonchu was Never an Inspiration, or had Anything to do with Simonla Rosechu's creation whatsoever.

Thank you for being patient while I had thought further on Simonla's Background Story. | Chris, on [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Simonla_Rosechu Simonla]}}

Somewhere in his frustration with Evan's reasonable requests, Chris decided he could retcon ''real life'', by pretending to have forgotten he made up Simonla on his own. Chris has the power to [[Chris and his Ego|dictate reality]].

===The fantasy===
It's clear to anyone with eyes that CWCville only exists as a crutch for Chris's warped psyche. While Chris feels the need to retreat to his womb-like room, he cannot totally withdraw from his need for social interaction. Therefore, CWCville becomes an extension of his personal world, more real to Chris than what he sees as a world out to [[Kick the Autistic]]. He retreats from a world where he has no control to a world where he has total control, a world defined by his whims. In his world, he can decide the laws and mores of the citizens. In his world, he can stalk and loiter to his heart's content.

While many children fantasize about being President or ruling their own city, as they get older, they realize that without the dedication, drive, and personality, it's not very fun having so much responsibility. For Chris, "responsibility" isn't in his vocabulary. All that the mayor does is have power, paying no heed to the well-being of the town's citizens, economy, or education. Just pure power. He set the rules and to hell with anyone who disobeys him. You know what they say about how power corrupts even the best people…

===Video games===
The CWCiverse is populated by video game characters. Sometimes, however, these characters ''know'' they are video game characters:

* [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] dodging right and left with button presses in [[Sonichu Special 1]]
* [[Jiggliami]] referring to Blanca as "the [[Guitar Hero]] of this stage" in [[Sonichu 8]]
* [[Darkbind]] "leveling up with experience by practicing his swordmanship" in [[Sonichu 9]]
* …and let's not forget the whole confusing [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] trading card game bullshit in [[Sonichu 5]].

Normally, the rule of thumb is that characters shouldn't break the fourth wall like this, unless the creators are ''deliberately'' making a series based on multiple crossovers. Chris can't decide whether he's making an ''original'' story, or one that's a deliberate and blatant mix of different source works. Most surprisingly, despite the fact that the characters are aware of their video game origins and video games in general, the characters seem oblivious to their sources of influence most of the time, and we only get an epic backstory for Sonichu, Rosechu and subsequently the Chaotic Combo. Just ''why'' doesn't Darkbind question which video games he was ripped off from?

We can conclude from the actions of the characters that, in a way, the CWCiverse works a bit like a terrible version of the old Saturday-morning ''Captain N'' cartoon and its comic adaptation, where it was taken as a given that all NES video game characters and settings occupied one larger meta-universe. Likewise, in Chris's world, it's a given that Sonic the Hedgehog's universe intersects the Pokémon universe and the universe of whatever else Chris decides to rip off. Instead of video game characters teaming up to defeat video game antagonists, though, we get a mixed-up bunch of character combinations and recolors fighting villains who themselves are character combinations and recolors; ''Captain N'' characters are the same as in the source material and instantly recognizable for any Nintendo fan, while Sonichu ''pretends'' to be original, and people are busy figuring out where the characters have been ripped off from. Instead of a Zapper and a cool NES controller belt that Kevin Keene had in ''Captain N'', Chris was handed a boring power to do absolutely everything, limited only by his imagination (and boy, does that ''ever'' limit things). ''And'' there's no Samus. ''And'' it's no longer the early 1990s, so this weirdness won't be tolerated anymore.

==List of confusion==

# Sonichu is both a fictional "creation" of Chris's and a sentient being that is able to communicate through Chris.
# [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was replaced by a not-evil [[Wikipedia:Doppelgänger|doppelgänger]] sometime in 2000 in our world, leaving her free to wreak terrible havoc upon CWCville. It should be noted that it doesn't appear as though the real Mary was replaced by the comic version in Chris's mind, but that the Mary Lee Walsh Chris met at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ''was'' the comic version, who was later replaced in the ''real world'' with a second, good Mary Lee Walsh.
# Chris's car is a Transformer.
# Chris is the TRUE and HONEST mayor of his fantasy land. Elections are not held because he founded the town,<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref> so there's no need for them. He'll be damned if he's replaced.
# His [[Patti Chandler|dog]] is alive. As a [[Patti-chan|bipedal anthropomorphic cartoon character]].
# Sonichu and Rosechu seem to have two different lives: One within the pages and one outside the pages, as evidenced by their marriage and children.

==Outside of the comics==
Chris's shaky grasp on reality extends beyond the comic pages. Somewhat subtly, there is his tendency to exaggerate or grossly misunderstand measurements of [[Duck|length]], weight, and [[I AM STRONG|strength]]. When [[Chris humps his PS3|bragging about the size of his junk,]] he seems to claim that his glans is of normal length and his testes outstandingly small. When trying to show off his strength and fitness, he thinks that everyday objects like [[Power|chairs]] and [[11042009 51 50|twelve-pack cans of soda]] have absurdly high weight, and that it's impressive he can even lift two twelve-packs of soda at a time, or lift an office chair, or do [[30 Push-Ups|thirty extremely poor pushups]]. He once claimed that Patti's dog house weighed five to ten ''tons''<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref> (and not in the hyperbolic use of the word), and that he managed to lift that. It seems to go beyond being incapable of measurement; he seems to think that since he's the hero, everything he does has some kind of epic element to it. Even Lord Byron would find this ridiculous.

To date, the most telling evidence of this is the [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|Sonichu Presentation videos]]. The majority of his babble in this video is just typical delusions of grandeur: Sonichu is a profitable concept, Chris could direct cartoons, etc. Near the end though, things take a turn towards scary.

{{Quote|CWCville Shopping Center does get built... And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building...|Chris, suggesting CWCville Shopping center might actually be built}}

Even if we accept Chris's vision of a world where Sega, Sony, Nintendo, and Cartoon Network all get behind Chris and let him turn Sonichu into a gigantic cultural phenomenon, and if we accept the concept that the Sonichu craze will become so huge that a physical mall could be built in its honor, why would that mall need a Mayor's office? Just as a tribute to the series, or does Chris really think he's the Mayor of CWCville, in dire need of his office?

[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|right|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

A leaked series of phone calls with Alec Benson Leary confirm that Chris does believe his characters and [[CWCville]], along with all other fictional worlds, are real. In the [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2|second phone call with Alec]] Chris says that he believes that there exists a "Toon World" á la ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit?|Who Framed Roger Rabbit?]]'' where every created cartoon character exists in a plane of reality. When Alec calls this delusion into question, Chris calls him [[naïve]]. This revelation goes a long way toward explaining why Chris gets so upset over other people using his characters in ways he doesn't like, as well as his bizarre need to retcon these non-canon depictions: while a sane creator would ignore such things or, at most, be upset over how his creations are depicted, Chris perceives this as ''changing the very nature of reality'', which necessitates changing it back to the way things were.

It goes to say a lot that Chris has [[Chris and remorse|absolutely no empathy]] for real people, but can feel for cartoon characters.

== Chris and Magic ==
:''See also: [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|Chris the Shaman]]''

In addition, Chris has come to the belief that he has real magical powers. The most notorious example is the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], a power that supposedly bestows [[Chris Sex Videos|terrible fortune]] on the recipient; Chris has performed this curse on innumerable occasions, both over the internet and in public. He has even retracted the curse [[Chris and remorse|albeit reluctantly]] on at least three occasions (see [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction]], [[One Blessing, and One Curse]] and [[I am Alive]]) with a "Forgiveness Blessings'" which further cements Chris's belief in its efficacy. He also believes that he has the power to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwash people into following his commands]] and to sic the spirit of [[Patti Chandler|his dead dog]] to [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|attack people in their sleep]]. Chris believes that he may have other latent powers that he may discover when the opportunity presents itself.<ref>[[Mailbag 20#Chris still thinks he can actually curse people]]</ref> All of this magic is supposedly powered by his [[Medallion of Fail]] and/or his [[Amnyfest Ring]].

When asked by a fan how he came to learn of his powers, Chris replied:
{{quote|I have learned about the Curses actually working firstly when I cursed the real-life Mary Lee Walsh; then I later heard that her reputation at [[PVCC]] went DOWN ([[Chris and his Ego|yes, mostly due to my references in the pages]]), but then things got worse for her, and even though I forgave her for her misdeed on interrupting my [[Love Quest|Sweetheart Search]], I feel she definitely got what she deserved for her misdeed. Later, I cursed one specific Troll (I forget who); shortly later, I learn that troll came down with a life-threatening ailment.|Chris, [[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|Mailbag 18]]}}
This is textbook [[Wikipedia:Magical thinking|magical thinking]], where people attribute one phenomenon to being responsible for a completely unrelated phenomenon, when in reality it is simply a coincidence (assuming that these reports are true; [[List of Chris's lies|Chris is not exactly the most reliable source of information]]). Like his belief in the reality of CWCville and other fictional entities, this belief gives Chris the some degree of power over his own life, no matter how illusory. This use of [[Wikipedia:Fantasy (psychology)|fantasy]] is considered by the psychological community to be an [[Autism|immature]] psychological defense mechanism.

==Conspiracy Theories==

Conspiracy theories are generally used as crutches for people who have difficulty accepting the fact that they live in a chaotic and amoral universe. This, combined with Chris's innate gullibility, perhaps made it inevitable that he would cultivate a few such conspiracies. For instance, Chris as of late 2009 believed that Autism came from "a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth," somehow bastardizing the already discredited Autism-vaccination link conspiracy.<ref>[[Mailbag 12#Where autism comes from]]</ref> However, Chris also believes in two conspiracy theories particular to him, and both show much evidence of his "unique" reasoning skills; most conspiracies, even if widely implausible, at least make sense on a superficial level -- generally connecting motive to a perceived gain of some kind -- while Chris is unburdened by this constraint.

The first, best-known, and probably earliest conspiracy theory Chris holds to is the conspiracy against his [[Love Quest]], which is wide enough to include [[Mary Lee Walsh|deans of community colleges]], [[Jerkops|police officers]], and [[Manajerk|proprietors of businesses]], as well as garden-variety trolls. Chris has stated several times that the goal of this conspiracy is to "make true love illegal," either in Virginia or nation-wide;<ref>[[Sonichu 4]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Blog#10 March 2010]]</ref> this choice of words suggests that Chris believes that he [[Chris and his Ego|is entitled to a girlfriend]], and that people are attempting to take legal action to deprive him of this alleged right. Of course, a motive for this conspiracy is conspicuous by its absence; if the goal is simple eugenics, there are [[wikipedia:castration|simpler ways]] of doing that. But Chris created this conspiracy because he cannot or will not believe that these people are merely reacting in a normal manner to his unacceptable behavior, so he must ascribe malice where none exists.

The second conspiracy theory that Chris believes in is an effort on the part of the Greene County school board to deprive him of friends; which involves conspiracy with realtors to keep him in Ruckersville and with Michael Snyder to keep him out of his favorite hangout.<ref>[[100 2178]]</ref> Again, there is no motive behind this conspiracy, but, like the first conspiracy, admitting this would be admitting that the real reason Chris has no friends is because he is a thoroughly unlikeable [[autism|social retard]], and serious introspection is anathema to Chris.

==Sauces==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

OkCupid

2010-05-10T01:12:12Z

LeninandMcCarthy: Done

__NOTOC__'''OkCupid''' is one of the more popular dating websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as Match.com, OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for free, only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, it has been infected by the plague that is [[Christian Chandler]].

==First Profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|Screencap of Chris's OkCupid profile]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it very quickly — his final login was in early [[March 2009|March]], and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of true and honest love. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual sex."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile.

===Profile Text===

I am Autistic, Fun, and Creative.

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.
Who I'd like to meet:
Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

''Note: OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, etc. Chris left all of these blank.''

==Second Profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image. Astute viewers will notice that it's the same one from his adventures as "[[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]
Chris's return to OkCupid, under the name "ChrisCSonichu" was a much more involved affair. Chris updated this profile frequently, each time allowing more and more of his delusional, insane, and perverted self spill out. more every time he updated his page.
===First version===
The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively benign. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This benign, easygoing period would not last.
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is honest and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family.
====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, making well-thought decisions, heavy lifting and other things.
====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.
====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.
====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
 -My Video Games (PS3, PSP, DS and Wii, and all of my older consoles).
 -My creative genius.
 -My good health.
 (Not sure about the final two)
====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.
====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "Sonichu's Adventures" on LittleBiGPlanet, or Guitar Hero or the current video game I'm playing.
====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy autÃstico altamente funcionales, y estoy un virgen esperando por mi novia bonita.

''In english, it roughly means he's a virgin and he's autistic''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
===Final Version===
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached it's current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. the sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two online contacts in.

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the final version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is honest and will love me for me, and sex is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.
====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, making well-thought decisions, heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).
====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.
====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.
====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
 -Sex
 -My Video Games (PS3, PSP, DS and Wii, and all of my older consoles).
 -Sex
 -My creative genius.
 -Sex LOL
 -My good health.
 -My glasses; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home playing Guitar Hero or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)
===The most private thing I’m willing to admit here===
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.
====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on wikipedia or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

==External Links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Websites]]

Autism

2010-05-09T07:09:05Z

LeninandMcCarthy: revert probable troll

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|2cpyKTun5iU}}
</center>

{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY retarded...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble]] chat 23 February 2009}}

{{quote|I'M RETARDED|Chris, [[CWC - Exposing Jeff]]}}

{{quote|It sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, '''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|Chris, on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATcI3S") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses, although these subdivisions are not recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]].

[[Christian Weston Chandler]] has built much of his identity around having '''high-functioning autism''' (HFA), which is vaguely defined as the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, near-normal comprehension, and about-average intellect (although it isn't actually a formal clinical diagnosis so much as a grade of severity). As such, he tries to have it both ways: you can't blame him for his shortcomings because he has autism, but you can't treat him like he's mentally handicapped and [[slow in the mind]] because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal. It's pretty clear to the most casual of observers, however, that Chris [[Monthly tugboat| is basically non-functioning.]]

Chris didn't want to be in special ed because he isn't retarded, yet he expects every single teacher he comes in contact with to have an expert understanding of autism spectrum disorders. He perceives bias against autistic people (read: HIM, he doesn't care about anyone else) everywhere, and assumes anyone opposing his will hates him for his mental condition and are playing "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

In case you don't already want to punch him, he's also stated he "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People."<ref>[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Aspergers]</ref> Obviously, there was never such a thing as autism until Chris came into existence.

==Background==
It is not currently clear exactly how he came to be diagnosed as "autistic", other than that he was diagnosed at the age of 6, receives government disability checks (his "[[monthly tugboat]]") for this mental disability, and he and his parents have been using his condition as a crutch from almost day one of his diagnosis.

In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best.

According to Chris, his autism manifested when he was locked in his room by a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] around age 1 1/2. After bawwwing for hours, he emerged from his lair unable to talk, which Chris says was when "God put the mute button on me." However, most specialists claim that the symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Autism Characteristics]]</ref> so Chris is full of [[shit|it]].

{{clear}}

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[troll]]s dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked-up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, appears to demonstrate a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular (albeit idiotic) guy with a few "eccentricities" (more like psychotic), or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his pinkeye and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]].

*Chris speaks in a monotone, as evidenced by his many videos. His attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) are rather creepy and unnatural. He sounds a little like he is reading off an offscreen cue card. On [[Song of Christian]], however, he sounds a bit more normal, if also a bit like Conker.

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you like having Chris haunt your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13 year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them. It should be noted that the two have entirely different skin colors.

*Chris lacks empathy for others. See his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde. His suggestion after the loss of [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. This lack of empathy is only magnified by his parents having coddled him as a child and given him no real reason to empathize with other people.

*Chris is extremely gullible. One need only see his extensive [[list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls pretending to be girls, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approaching him about making a Sonichu game.

*Chris has trouble developing relationships. This is a common trait among people in general, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. As stated above, he has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key things needed for interacting with people. He also pretty much just talks about himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]].

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LBP#First Date Level|interests]].

*Chris's given reasons for his love of [[My Little Pony]] are also indicative of autism. Autistics are drawn to physical sensations which give them a feeling of being 'grounded', and this is probably why Chris finds stroking the hair of these toys so "[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|therapeutic]]".

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Believe it or not, the gastrointestinal problems are also indicative of autism.

Oddly enough, he claims to have conquered his autism, or "coming out of [his] autistic shell," but frequently brings it up and uses it as an excuse for just about everything.

==Chris on the causes of autism==
Although the root causes of autism are still a subject of considerable research and debate, there's a strong consensus that the condition largely arises from genetic factors. Children born to parents of relatively advanced age — parents like Bob and Barbara Chandler, who were respectively over 50 and over 40 when Chris was born — are believed to be particularly at risk.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref>

During his [[Father Call|phone call with Kacey's father]], Chris swore up and down that heredity has nothing to do with autism: "It's a myth. That's a myth. Autism is not genetic." Kacey corrected his misconception not long afterward, but given Chris's attachment to all sorts of demented beliefs, it probably didn't stick for very long.

In the past, Chris has blamed his autism on an [[abusive babysitter]] from his childhood. [[Mailbag 12]], however, saw Chris actually reveal where [[fail|Autism comes from]]:

{{quote|Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth.|Chris, being completely idiotic once again}}

It seems likely that Chris subscribes to the persistent, but thoroughly debunked [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|theory]] linking autism to certain childhood vaccinations, although it's possible that his towering persecution complex caused him to imagine a similar conspiracy theory all on his own.

==Autism cured?==
[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]
In a moment that is sure to shock the mental health community, Chris confided in his [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] that, as of 04 [[March 2009]], he has overcome his autism once and for all:

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claims during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoats for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seems to have regained Autism and is back to [[Chris on Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that Autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. Or he forgot that he even had the above conversation and is just retarded.

[[November 2009]] saw Chris claiming to have cured his autism again as stated at the end of part 2 on his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations (where he describes himself as a "high functioning autistic ''recovered''"). A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris says in the [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|revised ED article]] in response to ED's claim he's "suffering" from autism, he comments "''which I still am for real.''"

==Chris vs. Asperger's==
''See also: [[Asperger's]]'' 
If there's anything Chris hates more than [[homos]] or trolls, it's anyone who dares try to steal his limelight. The worst of those are anyone who has Asperger's Syndrome or are deemed "low-functioning". As such, Chris is shown to be very "close-minded" about the subject and will get violent over anyone trying to prove the fact that Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism are nearly identical. In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger's Syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>
Because of Chris's [[Chris and his ego|''massive'' ego]], he seems to think he's higher-functioning than any other high-functioning autistic, leading him to call people with Asperger's "fakers".

==Chris and Low-Functioning Autism==
Disgustingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]]. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> In his [[Father Call|phone call to Matt Devoria]], he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.

==Chris and his own Autism==
Chris, in typical Chris fashion, not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his ego|special significance]], but also seems to think that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism. Because, y'know, everything to do with Chris has to be [[slow-in-the-minds|special]].

Ignoring the seemingly endless [[Chris and hypocrisy|contradictions]] between Chris's view of himself and his view of 'lower functioning' autistics (such as his claim during mumble 3 that he has conquered boundaries that any low-functioning autistic would be afraid of, and yet he's living with [[Bob|his]] [[Barb|parents]], has never [[Blanca|had]] a [[Julie|real]] [[Ivy|girlfriend]], and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|shits his pants]] on a semiregular basis), Chris's attitude towards his own autism can be summed up as follows: Because he's autistic, Chris is, naturally, better than everyone else (because having autism automatically makes him a genius), and everyone should acknowledge how utterly brilliant he is. At the same time, Chris is not responsible for anything he ever does wrong, because he is autistic and that means it's not his fault if he [[Twin_Falling_Towers|does]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|stupid]] [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College#Kicked_Out_of_College|things]].

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==What other aspies think of Chris==

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone pretending to be Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site". Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

==Sauce==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic ]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QdGOGV7WX0 The Tard-Man - Autistic Adventures - Director's Cut]
*[http://www.autismuk.com/index9sub.htm Sexuality and Autism]

{{Health problems}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked

2010-05-05T03:00:39Z

LeninandMcCarthy: revert if this isn't against the plan

[[Image:ps3.png]]

Look at it. A waste of money; however, every time we hack it, it amuses us. But that fat sack of shit has Sony giving him a blowjob every time he gets hacked.

A giant-ass waste of money. Every time I bother to look into it, it sickens me. He's spent over $4k on it.

PretendoZii@yahoo.com, I wonder what this is. I'll hack it on July 4th. Being patriotic and shit. See you guys there!

== bet ==

This mod is really simple to put in. All it took was a security torx wrench to break in. Even if it manages to get disconnected, it can broadcast the remaining information on it. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]

== explanation ==

So basically, someone placed a bet with me for 100 bucks that Chris wouldn't do shit even if this information was public. Guess who's getting 100 bucks. He hasn't done shit. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:53, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
:How the fuck did you get physical access to his PS3 in the first place? [[User:Joe Da Moo|Joe Da Moo]] 00:16, 4 May 2010 (UTC)
::It happened a long time ago. A hispanic friend of mine. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:13, 4 May 2010 (UTC)

== how it was hacked in the first place ==

Simple... People know Clyde Cash... and they know of his awesomeness...

Talk:PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked

2010-04-23T03:59:14Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

Damn.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:54, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh Clyde, you cad! -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:56, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Clyde. I want your babies --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 05:23, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

How was his PS3 bugged? Who bugged it and when? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 05:27, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
*It was bugged with a super duper secret thingamajig that sends stuff to us. How do you think we got all those leaked videos and whatnot? It's because of the PS3 bug, obviously, DURR. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:41, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

:* Fuck, I love that super secrit agent who was in there in those videos. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 05:52, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

:* Yeah, I know the PS3 was bugged. I was just wondering how it got in there. I guess it was probably the FA from those videos earlier, but I'm not sure when he found the time to open Chris's PS3, install the bug, and close it up without getting caught. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 06:14, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Impressive. Most impressive. Clyde, you are indeed a genius. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 10:45, 21 April 2010 (EST)

My mind is blown by this. While wannabes are making plans involving Trannies and shovels, REAL trolls bug his PS3! Chris is way too naive to figure this one out. Clyde, you are my new hero. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:08, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Jesus Christ, Clyde, do you realize how dangerous this is? If Chris finds the bug and takes it to the cops, they might be able to trace it. This one operation might destroy the trolls once and for all. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 17:29, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
:This happens all the time - no one can be bothered to investigate anymore. If Chris called the police they would just tell him he was wasting their time. There's no trick to debugging this thing - even a total moron could do it. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 03:09, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
::Although, from what I've heard, the technology can adapt pretty quickly, so once one bug is disabled it's almost impossible to hack the system again. Anyone know the details? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 03:12, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

I have a question--how do I check to see if someone bugged my PS3? If so, I'd like instructions on how to remove the device.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:10, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* This is a very simple procedure, actually. Simply clip the cables connecting it with a pair of wire cutters (or scissors or a knife if not available) and destroy it immediatly with a hammer. [[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 18:19, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh, Hells yeah! You done stepped up the game, that's what you did... [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 19:41, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Ha! Luckily, the Hexbox is far far FAR harder to hack, because [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a1CzNGNdrs it's being watched from inside]. (The video also reveals why this bugging business in PS3 is really hard to pull off. Or maybe not that hard. Hats off.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:21, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh my God...Mr. Cash, does this mean we will never see another file from that PS3? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 03:59, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked

2010-04-22T03:12:34Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

Talk:PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked

2010-04-22T03:09:59Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

Damn.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:54, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh Clyde, you cad! -[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:56, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Clyde. I want your babies --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 05:23, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

How was his PS3 bugged? Who bugged it and when? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 05:27, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
*It was bugged with a super duper secret thingamajig that sends stuff to us. How do you think we got all those leaked videos and whatnot? It's because of the PS3 bug, obviously, DURR. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:41, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

:* Fuck, I love that super secrit agent who was in there in those videos. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 05:52, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

:* Yeah, I know the PS3 was bugged. I was just wondering how it got in there. I guess it was probably the FA from those videos earlier, but I'm not sure when he found the time to open Chris's PS3, install the bug, and close it up without getting caught. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 06:14, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Impressive. Most impressive. Clyde, you are indeed a genius. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 10:45, 21 April 2010 (EST)

My mind is blown by this. While wannabes are making plans involving Trannies and shovels, REAL trolls bug his PS3! Chris is way too naive to figure this one out. Clyde, you are my new hero. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:08, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Jesus Christ, Clyde, do you realize how dangerous this is? If Chris finds the bug and takes it to the cops, they might be able to trace it. This one operation might destroy the trolls once and for all. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 17:29, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
:This happens all the time - no one can be bothered to investigate anymore. If Chris called the police they would just tell him he was wasting their time. There's no trick to debugging this thing - even a total moron could do it. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 03:09, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

I have a question--how do I check to see if someone bugged my PS3? If so, I'd like instructions on how to remove the device.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:10, 21 April 2010 (UTC)
* This is a very simple procedure, actually. Simply clip the cables connecting it with a pair of wire cutters (or scissors or a knife if not available) and destroy it immediatly with a hammer. [[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 18:19, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh, Hells yeah! You done stepped up the game, that's what you did... [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 19:41, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Ha! Luckily, the Hexbox is far far FAR harder to hack, because [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a1CzNGNdrs it's being watched from inside]. (The video also reveals why this bugging business in PS3 is really hard to pull off. Or maybe not that hard. Hats off.) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 20:21, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T20:55:07Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Chris' link failure */

Well I tried to transcribe the audio. I got 30 seconds down...yeah I'm a lazy fuck. - SEGA Hikaru

Unless someone gets it done sooner, I'll transcribe this in about 8 hours when I get home. [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 23:37, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
: I can get it done presently. BITCH?! [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 23:39, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
:: Okay, that's transcribed and tagged up. Michael Snyder fucking rules. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:10, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: It sounds to me like Michael says "He probably will" after Chrissy says he hopes God will forgive him. On the hypocrisy front, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it's a capital offense to upload photos of Chris to the internet, but it's perfectly fine for him to upload surreptitious recordings of other people's private phone calls. [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:: I thought I heard that to. [[User:Sarge|Sarge]] 9:06 P.M., 13 April 2010. (EST)
:: Yep, you're right, good catch. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 01:11, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
== Embracing his racism? ==

So, this year alone we have Chris calling Tito a nigger, and now yells "JEW" at someone IN PUBLIC. Has he finally accepted that he is a racist fuck? How much longer until he comes out as a homo? --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

::*inb4 "nawt a forum!", but he does compare him to the trolls, so he might be under the assumption he can use racial slurs against trolls and troll-like individuals and not be called out as racist.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::* that's a good observation there, Chris seems to think, that it's ok to call racial slur to trolls and people who have done "wrong" to him, and still be the good guy. Chris clearly as usual, didn't thought much before placing this video up on youtube before uploading it.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:40, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Slightly relevant to the page itself, it's interesting to me that [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|100_2151.MOV]] is still up[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuxOX-r7R50] if they took this one down for Jewry. That might not be the reason they took it down. He ''did'' apparently record it without the informed consent of one of the participants.—[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

:*Incidentally, I really don't think he understands what it means socially to use racial slurs. He might just think it's just disrespectful, like saying "fuck." Like the article implies, he watches South Park and hears Cartman call Kyle "Jew" and Kyle call Cartman "fatass" in the same context. He might not understand the difference between trying to insult someone by calling him "Jew" and calling him "fatass." —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:12, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Wallflower-esque?==

I notice that we've added the personal information Chris posted, and I was wondering if we should treat things like the phone number with as much sensitivity as was done in the case of the Wallflower. I understand that he hasn't requested it's removal, but still. Your call. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:17, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
: Like I say, that's not Snyder's personal info, it's the address and number of the Game Place (which is in the yellow pages and on the store's website anyhow). That said, Chris may be committing some crime or another by trying to incite people to harass him. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I think in this case the address and phone number posted are of the GAMe PLACe and not his personal home? I could be wrong though, if it is his personal info (how the fuck did Chris get that?) then yeah, my vote would be to remove it --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:21, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* Google Street View shows the staples store that the Game Place is attached to. We're cool. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 01:42, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I don't know, THe GAMe PLACe's official website lists its phone number as (540) 948-4263. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 02:57, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I think even if it was Michael Synder's personal contact info, it'd be cool. I don't imagine Michael Synder being in any sort of harm that would be aggravated by posting it here as I imagine any trolls reading it would only send the man flowers and cards as opposed to threats that The Wallflower or someone perceived as a threat to trolling would get. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:36, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Down==

SHIT. Video got pulled. Anyone got a copy for the CWCVille Library?? --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*Damn, I had just gone back to his channel to get it down, but I was too slow. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

how much time was this video up anyway? i doubt anyone managed to make a copy of it, the CWCki should make a guide to download Chris's videos, so we have more people keeping back up.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 00:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I brought the page up at around 6-7 PM EDT. It went down at about 8:15 that same time. 2-3 hours. That's how fast the video went up and down. Yes, I think for the sake of preserving, a video needs to have a copy of it made if something causes it to go down.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

I still have the page open for his video. Is there anyway I can save it from here?[[User:Nimnoms|Nimnoms]] 00:29, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* You could save the page (If you're using Windows, go to File -> Save Page As, or press CTRL+S)? I don't think you'd be able to rip the video that way, but I think it might still play. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

And now apparently it's back up. Go figure. [[User:N. Onymous|N. Onymous]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC

I have it, if any of you guys need it. [[User:SwoopDaWoop|SwoopDaWoop]] 00:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

The Library hasn't uploaded it yet, so I did. [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OTWXKSZB Here's] a download of it too. (It's MegaUpload, sorry.) --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 00:32, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Wow, the Clyde Cash the kid video was up for only a few minutes, and yet we couldn't save this one that was up for 2-3 hours. Thanks and grats to MewLime. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 00:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:I've got a copy on my computer just in case we lose our current one.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Congrats to Lime for getting Chris himself linking to Lime's upload of the video on CWCipedia, in spite of the unflattering description.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Have you noticed how fast he now removes his videos? It is clear that Chris acts like this in the hope of escaping the watchful eye of someone. Can we reefer him to another video site?[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:02, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:It's up for me. [[User:Sarge|Sarge]] 9:03 P.M., 12 April, 2010. (EST)
:This one got taken down by Youtube, not Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Wow, YouTube is trolling Chris! This is something new! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 01:19, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Actually it isn't, YouTube banned one of his older accounts because of a [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers|certain video]], he came back under IBA Chandler and I think we all know what happened next. So yes, in a sense it's not the first time YouTube has trolled him. [[User:Kei|Kei]] 01:27, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==The Sugar Ray song==

Made me fucking lol. I don't know why.--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 00:33, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Illegal or not?==

So it appears to me we could have a legal situation on our hands. We need to figure this out. If we do we may have to delete the video although transcriptions might be safe. According to my research though, as long as you are part of the conversation yourself it is perfectly legal to record it. Only thing that he could be busted for is taping the phone call Snyder has. I am not sure. [[User:Ephemeral|Ephemeral]] 00:37, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* Virginia's "wiretap" law allows you to tape a conversation without the other party's consent as long as it is in a public place. The court would probably consider The GAMe PLACe a public area without an expectation of privacy. But, just goes to show how close he is to committing a real crime and playing Kick the Autistic with Bubba --[[User:Jeffex|Jeffex]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**GAMe PLACe is a private business, not a public area. [[User:Lolwutermelon|Lolwutermelon]] 02:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
***Which is, of course, why they're able to uphold the ban, and why him being there could technically count as trespassing.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 04:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
***This is something which people should be really careful about. Just because a store is a privately owned enterprise doesn't mean that it's not considered a public space under the law. It's a place the public at large is invited to enter (unless of course you're Chris). Whether or not there's some expectation of privacy is a matter of common law, statute, case law, or whatever. If you don't have a statute or a ruling or something to cite, you shouldn't pontificate on what the law does or doesn't say. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 04:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*Of course theres also the little matter of him droppingthe Game Place address and phone number and more or less telling/"suggesting" "his fans" to raid them on his behalf...--[[User:Curseshot|Curseshot]] 02:39, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**I think that though it IS illegal and Chris could be in serious trouble for doing this, the police won't put too much effort into stopping him unless it becomes a regular thing. There are bigger crimes than a man child wandering into a game store and asking to be allowed back in, after all. I'm sure if Michael wanted to press charges, he could, but it probably isn't worth the time and effort, especially considering that Chris left the premises without much of a fight.[[User:WarOfTheBees|WarOfTheBees]] 10:35, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Chris thinks its 2009==

In the intro, he says he was banned almost a year ago in 2008. This means he thinks it is 2009. Or maybe he can't tell time... --[[User:Exemplary|Exemplary]] 00:47, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* I think he did the same thing in a tape released around this same time last year - thought it was 2008 instead of 2009. Aw, well. In the words of Vivian Gee, HONOR ROLL MY ASS--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 00:50, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*It's not quite two years and Chris usually isn't one to be super specific by saying something like "a year and ten months ago" or "1.83 years ago" which in any case doesn't matter because spoken English language doesn't lend itself to this sort of expression. So yeah, I don't think it's so much Chris thinking it's 2009, just Chris being imprecise given the nature of colloquial English language.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:40, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==The Wii Incident==
*What is Chris talking about when he mentions the Wii incident? This might be something worth finding out about. --[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 00:53, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:* I wondered that myself. The Mimms and Lucas Q&A mentions a time he brought his Wii in to play Brawl, but they don't say anything about Snyder having a problem with it. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 00:57, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::* It's not so much an incident in that one time Chris wanted to use the big screen TV at the game place but mike wouldn't let him. then mike kicked him out I guess cuz chris was being stupid. This is all Chris remembers [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Note that==
* Chris isn't apologizing at all for his actions to mimms, he's just asking to get back because mimms is being a prick who doesn't lets chris in for no reason, when in reality mimms is just looking out for his business. Should someone contact mimms to get more info about this encounter?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:11, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*I don't see much in the video that would suggest Mimms is in it, but I'll see if I can contact him if he might know any more about this. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 01:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I got a hold of Mimms over Facebook. I asked him if he knows anything more about this than what Chris recorded. I'll post whatever he knows. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:07, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::*I think you're confusing Mimms for Michael. Mimms was a guy who went to the Game Place but he never worked there or any shit. Lucas already told his side of everything down below. Don't bother Mimms abuot this, everything's been told. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 02:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
* It should also be noted that Rocky now officially has a copy of this video. I wonder how that will go over? Hmm. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 01:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*wait, how do you know that?[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:34, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*/cwc/ some anon sent it to her--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:56, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**If I were rocky, I would delete every E-mail sent to me about Chris. But yeah, she probably watches his videos. It's likely she's seen this by now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:58, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
**Rocky may not be the one watching his videos, she may not have been watching during the 2-3 hour interval where this video was up, and she deletes all emails she doesn't recognize.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Mimms' Input==
*Just got a reply from Mimms sharing what he knows.
<blockquote>
"Not really. I mean, what else is there to know? Chris is antisemitic. He walked up to Mike while he was Fixing an RC car. The Audio is pretty much a tell all. Cops didnt make it there in time to fine him or arrest him for trespassing. I guess thats pretty much the extent of the 'unknowns'."
</blockquote>
Apparently the cops were called. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 02:16, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Chris was there, there's a recording of it. If there's a trespass order against Chris, the cops don't actually have to see him there. [[User:Lolwutermelon|Lolwutermelon]] 02:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:*Let's not get overzealous. We need to know three things
:1. Did Chris, beyond a shadow of a doubt, break Virgina law?
:2. Is this audio the evidence?
:3. If so, how do we get it to the cops?
:*Thank you and have a safe day, peace.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
** According to /cwc/, he was trespassing. That's $2500 or a year with Bubba. He's fucked. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 03:20, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:* Mimms should make chris pay the fine or go to jail, its win/win.
:* Mimms and Michael are different people. Also, that was me on /cwc/, I'm waiting to see if someone else will show up to invalidate me. More importantly, is Michael pursuing the case and if so how do we get this audio to him?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:28, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*No doubt the cops told Mike what he could do, the thing is that we don't know if Mike wants to press charges or not. If he DOES then we can see about either getting this audio sent to Mike via his email or through someone like Mimms. I'd love to see Mike press charges though. Let's get Mimms to keep us updated on what happens (just in case Chris is smart enough to not mention such an event online). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 03:47, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:::In [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y the youtube comments] someone claiming to be Mike (TheRcholic) was responding, saying that Chris was reading from a script. Maybe someone could ask Mimms or Mike for confirmation that it was him. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 09:03, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
I wonder if somebody shouldn't tell Mimms about the latest add Chris plastered on CWCipedia(the one where Chris again calls for people to harass Michael and drops his store’s dox with that intent) it might make a difference on whether they decide to press charges or not.[[User:Kei|Kei]] 15:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Go on and do it, just make sure to post it here.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 16:24, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::I haven't really gotten to it seeing as how I'm in class at the moment... and a lazy bitch. I was hoping that one of the other members would be kind enough to let Mimms know about it [[User:Kei|Kei]] 18:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==Why he did it===
Here's my question. Why, after nearly two years, is Chris just now going to the GAMe PLACe to try and get the ban removed? I'm sure this is something that's been driving him crazy for years but this came out of the blue. Do you think that he tried to get unbanned so he'd have a place to go instead of messing around the Internet for our lulz? It's either that or he really wanted some new trading cards. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 05:16, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Maybe just for the ego trip. If Michael accept Chris back in, it validates Chris as a victim. He pulled the same stunt on [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|Mary Lee Walsh]] previously. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:31, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::It's been noted in some articles that it's the only place to pick up some of the things he likes. Being that it is a card/comic/hobby shop, there's probably something of value besides Eye of Judgment cards he wants to have. Also bear in mind that regardless of how sociable (or unsociable) he is, it was one of the few places he could spend at that wasn't his own room where he felt he could do what he usually does (or what he feels he has the "right" to do, regardless of how much of a moron it makes him).--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 08:06, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::It could also be due to the sweetheart search.This is where he first met Megan wasn't it? And that was the closest he got to china (in his head) during that time. Now that The Wallflower has cut contact and he is being kept away from internet based sweethearts he's reverting to his old haunts. This and dating sites, and he's probably out sitting with a sign as we speak... --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 11:41, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I'd just be satisfied in finding out ''why he even uploaded this video.'' Forget for a second the reasoning behind wanting to be unbanned from the GAMe PLACe, or the reasoning behind secretly recording this conversation. Why on earth did he upload this video when it features nothing but pure fail on Chris's behalf? What was he hoping to gain from uploading this? Sympathy? That theory kinda goes out the window the moment he yells 'JEW!' at Michael. This really is one of the most bizarre video's from Chris I have ever seen, as I just cannot work out what he was hoping to gain from showing this to the world.

Usually I'd just brush this off as 'lol, Chris', but the motivation behind this particular video seem completely mysterious. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:18, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:I think it was like this--if Michael had let him back in, Chris would have a reminder that he'd been forgiven and could gloat about it all the time. If not, he'd have "proof" of "discrimination" and do what he's doing now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 15:05, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::*I guess the "proof" of "discrimination" theory makes sense. Again though, any sympathy for Chris's plight is completely negated by the "JEW!" at the end. I wonder if he understands that.

:::lol, what am i saying - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 17:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

==A little ironic==

I find it really funny that Chris has no qualms about secretly taping a conversation with Snyder & uploading it onto youtube when he had such an issue with someone taking a picture of him with a phone & posting it. Then again, this is Chris- I think him holding himself to the same standards he has for others is one of the signs of the apocalypse. [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 16:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)meeko

==Trespassing Laws in Virginia==

Virginia Code § 18.2-119 defines the crime of trespassing as follows:

'''If any person without authority of law goes upon or remains upon the lands, buildings or premises of another, or any portion or area thereof, after having been forbidden to do so''', either '''orally''' or in writing, '''by the owner, lessee, custodian or other person lawfully in charge thereof''', or after having been forbidden to do so by a sign or signs posted by such persons or by the holder of any easement or other right-of-way authorized by the instrument creating such interest to post such signs on such lands, structures, premises or portion or area thereof at a place or places where it or they may be reasonably seen, or if any person, whether he is the owner, tenant or otherwise entitled to the use of such land, building or premises, goes upon, or remains upon such land, building or premises after having been prohibited from doing so by a court of competent jurisdiction by an order issued pursuant to §§ 16.1-253, 16.1-253.1, 16.1-253.4, 16.1-278.2 through 16.1-278.6, 16.1-278.8, 16.1-278.14, 16.1-278.15, 16.1-279.1, 19.2-152.8, 19.2-152.9 or § 19.2-152.10 or an ex parte order issued pursuant to § 20-103, and after having been served with such order, '''he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor'''. This section shall not be construed to affect in any way the provisions of §§ 18.2-132 through 18.2-136.

The issue in many trespassing cases is twofold: '''has proper notice been provided that the person is not welcome in a particular area and exactly what area is the person prohibited from entering'''. The code identifies potentially four different ways in which notice of no trespassing may be accomplished. The four ways are: '''by oral request by a person in authority''', by written request by a person in authority, by a posted sign in an area where it may reasonably be seen, by court order pursuant to specific code sections, even if the order is ex parte. An ex parte order is an order entered by a judge where the person who is the subject of the order is not present at the time the order is entered. For a person to be convicted of trespassing after the entering of an ex parte order, that person must have actually been served with a copy of the order. This means a sheriff or other properly authorized individual, delivered a copy of the order to the person who is the subject of the no trespass provision. '''A written or oral no trespass request can be for both public and private locations. For instance, places of business can request a person not to return to their location.''' Even a city can request that an individual not return to a certain park or parks. However, a private business can’t ban a person from an area that is public access nor can a city ban a person from an area when doing so would interfere with a constitutionally protected right.

Chris is guilty of trespassing by Virginian law. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:13, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Oh, by the way, a class 1 misdemeanor is punishable by 12 months in jail. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:15, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
*I checked, it's either a fine not to exceed $2500, at most a year in prison, or both.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:19, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Chris' link failure ==

I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but after Chris' first video got taken down, he linked to another video with the audio. However, it contains the following message for Chris:

'''''''To Chris: If you see this, I want you to know that I've reuploaded this video not to support you, but to show everyone what a little bigot you are. Michel banned you from "THe GAMe PLACe" not because he's "cold-heated", but because you were being a racist prick to a bunch of black kids. (What did they ever do to you anyway? Beat you at a children's card game?) By slinging around the word "JEW" as an insult you've shown that he was right to ban you. You are not a better person Chris; you never changed at all since 2008, and you never will.

'''I know it's useless to try to talk any sense into you, but I'm saying this anyway.''''''''

Of course, Chris ignored the message when he linked to this video. I didn't know if this was important or not, but I thought I'd pass it by you guys before I post it on the main page.

the video can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_p6bShW97Y

[[User:Chaoshi|Chaoshi]] 20:39, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

:Should've put a comment in the title. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 20:55, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

/cow/

2010-04-04T00:55:14Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Typical discussions on /cwc/ */

{{Namefaggotry}}

[[Image:anonchris.jpg|thumb|Typical /cwc/ user.]]

'''/cwc/''' is a [[Chris]]-related image board that served as a notable hangout for [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] rejects, newfags, and people who believe ANONYMOUS IS LEGION, etc. Despite the concentrated amounts of faggotry, Krapplefags were notable in being above [[ED]] and [[4-cent_garbage|4chan]] in the [[troll]] hierarchy.

The late [[Clyde Cash]] used to frequent the board to provide the lowly serfs with [[da update]]. However, some users have reported seeing posts made by Clyde's ghost.

While despised by many PVCC and #sonichu regulars, /cwc/ was notable in that it provided a place to discuss Chris-chan when [[110mb]] went down, which caused both [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] and [[CWCki]] to go offline.

[[Ivy]] has alleged that Chris had discovered the site, based on a tip off from a successful [[white knight]], yet his response was that the colors bothered him and that there were "too many words."

On 1 November 2009, /cwc/, as well as the entire krapple board, was permanently deleted for reasons yet unknown (cancer).

It was brought back soon after on a spin-off chan.

== Notable goings-on ==
{{incomplete}}

=== White knight leaks ===

=== <s>Ivy Appears</s> ===
<s>[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/?reply=1727 The post]</s> BALEETED

=== Closed due to spam ===
Then August 2nd, a counter-troll named [[Geneva]], under the guise of Kimmo Alm, owner of Anontalk.com (a pedophile forum that frequently spams imageboards) suddenly decided to attack the innocent site and flood it with CP. So the KKK set up an anti-Kimmo board about fighting back against him.
Geneva however continued to CP flood it, forcing the [[Trolls#CEO|site admin]] to take the board offline. However /cwc/ returned 9 days later.

=== Closed due to counter-trolls ===
On August 23, 2009, Geneva once again tried to take /cwc/ offline by blackmailing CEO, the admin of KKK. Geneva's bluff was successful as the board was once again indefinitely taken offline.

On August 27, 2009, /cwc/ reopened for business.

=== Deleted forever? ===

On November 1, 2009, the /cwc/ page was missing and on the main webpage was a small README, saying:

{{quote|everything on krapple has been deleted irreversably haev a nice day folks, thanks for the laughz|CEO}}

Reincarnated, then baleeted again.

==Typical discussions on /cwc/==
*"BAWWW, I can't get on PVCC!"
*"how do i irc?"
*<s>"HAY GUYS, LET'S GET CHRIS TO GROW A BEARD!"</s> [[Rollin' and Trollin'|It happened]].
*"I WANT TO PUNCH CHRIS IN THE FACE AND/OR SEE HIM CRY."
*"Guys, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET A HOOKER FOR CHRIS?"
*"Trolls, please get Chris to do [x], [y], and [z]. Thank you kindly."
*"[[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]] IS SO COOL AND I WANT TO BE LIKE CLYDE."
*"[[BLANCA]] SUCKED ASS"
*"[[PANDAHALO]] SUCKED ASS"
*"[[IVY]] SUCKED ASS"
*"THE FIELD AGENTS SUCK ASS"
*"[[BLUESPIKE]] WENT TOO FAR"
*"BLUESPIKE WAS A GENIUS AND I MISS THAT LITTLE GUY"
*"The Field Agents STILL suck ass"
*"[[KACEY]] SUCKS ASS"
*"[[JACK THADDEUS]] SUCKS ASS"
*"What if Chris derp de derpity derp?"
*"RANDOM SPAM POST (MACROSONIC)"
*[[Asperchu|"I made a "fancharacter", do you think it'll piss him off?"]] (success)
*"Let's dig up [[Patti Chandler|Patti's]] corpse!"
*[[Random Access Humor|Random off-topic bullshit]]
*I think thats a samefag.
*What the hell? Fuck off (insert user name of a banned namefag).
*"The background music sucks ass"

==IRC==
/cwc/ has an irc channel located on Helldive, a network operated by insurgent and former [[ED]] sysop januszeal. Although not responsible for any sagas, it does serve as a hangout for various Krapplefags as well as some [[Sonichu (IRC chat)|#sonichu]] members and trolls from various other communities.

== External links ==
*<s>[http://krapplekomputerkompany.com/cwc/ /cwc/ - the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan imageboard] BACK IN BUSINESS</s> BALEETED
*[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/ /cwc/, reincarnated]
*[http://widget.mibbit.com/?settings=53c027be90707773b4398de31aa77d09&server=irc.helldive.org&channel=%23legi0n Legi0n IRC, the official /cwc/ IRC channel @ irc.helldive.org #legi0n]
{{DEFAULTSORT:cwc}}
[[Category:Websites]]
[[Category:Trolling]]

Surfshack Tito (video)

2010-03-18T06:35:13Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

[[Image:Tito_300.gif|thumb|"Big kahunas need bigger boards."]]
'''Surfshack Tito''' (also known as '''''Surfshack Tito.MOV''''') is a rather odd video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 02 [[March 2010]]. In it he makes his first threat against rising troll Surfshack Tito (likely named for the hangout and grandfatherly character in the Nicktoon show ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''), who hacked his [[PSN]] account on 24 February 2010.

The small finger motion and corresponding sound effect Chris makes is consistent with a [[Curse shot]]. This flies in the face of the claims Chris made in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|8th Alec Benson Leary call]], where he conceded that cursing people was evil, and claimed he was atoning for it.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Surfshack Tito.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|3BpXubqmxEg}}
| Stardate = 02 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Television.png]] Television
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:Tanwidestripeshirt.png]] Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[02 March 2010]]
| next = [[A message to the Trolls]]
}}

===Transcription===
[''"Mo Ghile Mear" by Celtic Woman plays in the background.'']

Surfshack Tito! [''Chris makes a quizzical face, and speaks in a high-pitched voice''] I know you!

[''Dramatic [[glasses]] removal'']

You'll get yours [[CWC's Message for Ivy|in your dreams]]- your- [[Patti Chandler|in your nightmares]]. [''makes an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution and effect|odd, one-fingered gesture]]''] Pshew!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[02 March 2010]]|nextlink=[[A message to the Trolls]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris Drops the N-Bomb

2010-03-18T05:02:47Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

[[Image:Chrischantwoface.jpg|thumb|Artist's interpretation of Chris between this and his previous video]]
'''Chris Drops the N-Bomb''' (originally posted as '''100_2151.MOV''') is a video where [[Chris]] sends yet another gory [[Death_threats|death threat]], and uses the infamous 'N-Word', at [[Tito]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris once again drops the name of the [[Wallflower]]. His actual explicit and complete usage of the racial slur, however, was unexpected; the closest he had previously come was when [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into trying to say it, only for him to say [[Niggo]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2151.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cuxOX-r7R50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 March 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{rage}} Rage
| Saga = Pending
| Shirt = {{TanWideLines}} Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[Happy Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Tito! You stay away from [[The Wallflower|Heather]], you son of a bitch. You have no right taking her from me like that, you [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|womanizing rapist]]! And if you go near her again, then I will find you! I will find you, I will [[Pocket knife|cut you up]], I will [[CWC Fighter|beat you up]], I will knock you on your backside, stand on your gut like a [[Obesity|log roller]], and roll your fat right through your skull! Blow it wide open!

Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing raping [[troll]] and stupid [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suited]] [[Niggo|'''nigger!''']] And don't you ever, don't you dare contact me in my E-mail again, or contact me ever! You stay away from me- you stay away from me and contact. Don't call me, I will find you!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Happy Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]|}}

{{Template:Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Chris Drops the N-Bomb

2010-03-18T04:13:44Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

'''Chris Drops the N-Bomb''' (originally posted as'''100_2151.MOV''') is a video where [[Chris]] sends yet another gory [[Death_threats|death threat]], and uses the infamous 'N-Word', at [[Tito]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris once again drops the name of the [[Wallflower]]. His actual explicit and complete usage of the racial slur, however, was unexpected; the closest he had previously come was when [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into trying to say it, only for him to say [[Niggo]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2151.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cuxOX-r7R50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 March 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{rage}} Rage
| Saga = Pending
| Shirt = {{TanWideLines}} Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[Happy Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Tito! You stay away from [[The Wallflower|Heather]], you son of a bitch. You have no right taking her from me like that, you [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|womanizing rapist]]! And if you go near her again, then I will find you! I will find you, I will [[Death threats|cut you up]], I will beat you up, I will knock you on your backside, stand on your gut like a log roller, and roll your fat right through your skull! Blow it wide open!

Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing [[Chris and sex|raping]] [[troll]] and stupid [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suited]] [[Niggo|'''nigger!''']] And don't you ever, don't you dare contact me in my E-mail again, or contact me ever! You stay away from me- you stay away from me and contact. Don't call me, I will find you!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Happy Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]|}}

{{Template:Troll Videos}}

Chris Drops the N-Bomb

2010-03-18T04:12:18Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

'''Chris Drops the N-Bomb''' (Previously known as'''100_2151.MOV''') Is a video where [[Chris]] sends yet another gory [[Death_threats|death threat]] and uses the infamous 'N-Word' at [[Tito]].

Unsurprisingly, Chris once again drops the name of the [[Wallflower]]. His actual explicit and complete usage of the racial slur, however, was unexpected; the closest he had previously come was when [[BlueSpike]] coerced him into trying to say it, only for him to say [[Niggo]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100_2151.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|cuxOX-r7R50}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 17 March 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{rage}} Rage
| Saga = Pending
| Shirt = {{TanWideLines}} Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[Happy Sonichu Day]]
| next = [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
Tito! You stay away from [[The Wallflower|Heather]], you son of a bitch. You have no right taking her from me like that, you [[Chris and sex#Chris and rape|womanizing rapist]]! And if you go near her again, then I will find you! I will find you, I will [[Death threats|cut you up]], I will beat you up, I will knock you on your backside, stand on your gut like a log roller, and roll your fat right through your skull! Blow it wide open!

Because that's what you deserve, you God damn womanizing [[Chris and sex|raping]] [[troll]] and stupid [[Man in the Pickle Suit|pickle suited]] [[Niggo|'''nigger!''']] And don't you ever, don't you dare contact me in my E-mail again, or contact me ever! You stay away from me- you stay away from me and contact. Don't call me, I will find you!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Happy Sonichu Day]]|nextlink=[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Current]]|}}

{{Template:Troll Videos}}

Talk:The Wallflower

2010-03-16T02:56:32Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Now that Chris has dropped her name... */

Okay faggots, listen up. No personal details. Ever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:14, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
* Would photos of her count as personal details? There's a photo on this page clearly showing her. --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:54, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
*Gotcha. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:18, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Am I missing something here? Didn't Chris just inform us that this girl is no longer interested in him, with Message to the Trolls? So why are we locking down details about her now, when EDF can do no more damage? Or is there more to this?--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 01:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'm sure that she got some sort of email/phone call, but we don't know enough about her or the situation to assume that she's fully out of the picture. Until then, it's better to have less info than too much info. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 01:24, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
Some explanation please? I mean, all the other galpal articles have info, what happened here? [[User:Dave|Dave]]
*i have received a message from wallflower herself asking for her info to be removed. while i'd rather not remove any information, at the same time, the article was focusing on personal details about the wallflower that weren't at all related to chris. since i'd rather avoid any trouble here, i've complied with her request. this new article should be used purely for chris-related information, since she is part of christory. if chris uploads information, then you can add it here, but don't add anything you found through internet investigation or whatever. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 01:28, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
** A'ight, but can we have a background on the story on cwcki? You know, what happened for them to break up and stuff. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 01:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*** There's no break up as far as I know. But I'm sure something must have happened between yesterday and today. We can document the drama but be vague. Example: Dedicated trolls found her information and then Chris got mad. Real mad. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Does this mean all the sweetheart pages are going to be changed? -PeaceCeapPea
*****Most of the sweethearts were trolls. Megan avoid this site like rape, so I don't think we need to worry about it. [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 02:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Why are we doing this? Didn't Megan ask us for her dox to be taken off the internet? How do we know the message wasn't sent by a troll or a white knight?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 02:12, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**Have you seen the latest video from Chris? He found the CWCki. I guess "WallFlower" used Google. Another thing; Chris volunteered the info we got on him. She dint. We dint passed the Dox of other sweethearts or made fun of them as we did with her. Just for this, It had to be removed. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 02:29, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*My apologies for deleting this page this page. I just woke up and I was confused about what the fuck was going on. I thought some faggot thought Chris was talking about two different girls. I absolutely agree with Cogs one hundred percent, if Wallflower requested this page to be taken down, I think that's a humble request given that the article was a threat to her wellbeing. It's not so much trying to cover our asses, I really can understand that the Wallflower (unlike Megan, who really didn't have much of an online presence) would have trolls be a very real threat and unlike Chris, she probably doesn't feed off negative attention.
:I regret that I did not address the dox in the pages. I really wasn't a big fan of having her Facebook, MySpace, etc. profile on there, aside from Chris related issues, mostly because we don't do the same thing for Megan and we shouldn't encourage faggots trolling Chris related people who have little to do with Chris.
:I think one lesson from this is we need to discuss some sort of privacy policy for CWCki. A less brash version of Clyde's dictum is that we should possibly treat pages about people only from the Chris universe perspective, that is how Chris views them and sees them as opposed to digging into personal details from online investigations. But yeah, people, let's not do shit like post MySpaces, Facebooks, and don't post people's personal information unless Chris posts it on the Internet for everyone to see. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:46, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:* Seems fair enough. There was, in retrospect, no hope of keeping a lid on this whole thing, I think, no matter how much or how little personal info got posted here - as soon as her given name got out there, it was inevitable that some goof was gonna link her to this or to the ED page or to the sex doll video or whatever else. But that seems like a good policy for simple decency's sake. I apologize for getting carried away with all the links on the page yesterday. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 12:59, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

*I think the wording of this article should be more explicit as to how and what kind of idiot it was that contacted her over all this. I mean most EDF retards won't read krapple or PVCC etc. but they do read the Cwcki, and it might help in the future to have here an example to hold up of what exactly happens when you go the JULAYYY route of trolling. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 02:37, 11 March 2010 (UTC) 02:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

**Who cares about it, it seems something else is stirring within Chris. Guess he still has it out for me. Hmph. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:57, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

***I think we ought to be more careful with the information we post here. Most if not all CWCki contributors are either on /cwc/ or PVCC, but the readers are partially dumbasses (not just from EDF, I presume) who will fuck shit up. Yes, it's a shame this happens, but ultimately we are to blame here. It was very obvious the CWCki article on her would lead to someone contacting her. Documenting information is important, but perhaps there should be some articles protected from viewing? I don't know. --[[User:Wtv|Wtv]] 10:48, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*combine with the sonichu crystals to the [Wallflower] page?? [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 10:23, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::no they want that page gone, that's why it's over here without any references to her personally. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 11:03, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::oh, i see. whatevss [[user:I_Love_Little_Girls|I Love Little Girls]] 11:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*Yeah, I thought the same thing so don't feel bad. tl;dr is that Wallflower asked for it to be removed and Cogs complied, because it was a reasonable request. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

*Wow, now we turned into Moralfags and we are going to censor trolling, for the sake of the trolls who already know who she is. Also, it is not that difficult to do a fucking google search and found everything there is to found about this girl, so this is just stupid. If you had any respect in the first place for any of the friends or family of chris chan you would not have all the information you have on them all over the page, and that's not the case, so for what I can see here this is a very hypocritical position, or this is just part of a trolling plan.--[[User:SGSS01|SGSS01]] 10:04, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:One, we're not Moralfags.
Two, the dox was removed by her request.
Three, if we put the dox back up, she could net us some downtime for invading her privacy and personal life.
So fuck off. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 21:18, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Taking down the page because we put information already publicly available on the internet?, lulz, let her send in detectives, send in police, send everything in her power!. I'm sorry but that's not a valid reason, we have personal information about a lot of persons, and many of those don't even use the internet, or is information we got from hacked mail accounts (Cole), and fuck, he really could take the site down just for that, and we still have his article.--[[User:SGSS01|SGSS01]] 03:32, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:::There's a legal liability out there. Chris says most of what he wants. If he sue the site for libel, he will lose since all the material here mostly came from his own (dirty) hands. Wallflower on the other side came from nowhere and the tone used to describe her was quite unflattering. Keeping Wallflower previous page on line would had brought to this site much trouble (including legal ones) so it was wise to shut it down. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:46, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:::* What about the things that were coerced from him? Do those fall under acceptable use or not?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:12, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*Coercing implies some form of entrapment. At any time Chris had the possibility to walk out and stop posting on the net as Chris-Chan. He dint. Up to there, humping his PS3 is on fact voluntary from his part. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:11, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:We can put name what is she going to do? Chris reveal her name. We are NOT moralfags. If its on the internet its public information (as long as it is not credit card numbers, passwords, or SSN) we are just data mining. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 21:30, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::Any troll can go data-mining. We are not trolls, we are Christorians; Holy scribes monitoring the advent and life of the "Messiah Of Fail". It is in our upmost interest to play nice. How many of us would salivate over an e-mail of five lines from Megan ranting about Chris? Let's be nice to the Wallflower; she might bring us something great in the future. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
==Srsly though...==
To improve the article:
# Wallflower really isn't a sweetheart. Nothing public about this yet but as most of you can tell, she's more or less Megan - because she has managed to be around Chris for more than five seconds, Chris takes this to mean sexual interest and a serious relationship.
# We need a pic of a Wallflower. Like, literally, a flower growing out of a wall. Not a drawn pic, but an actual photograph. Shouldn't be too hard to fine, just don't feel like it now. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|center]]
Here you go a photo of what resembles Heather with Clyde Cash --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 04:16, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

==Pimp Claim Responsibility==

This bloke known on YouTube as "ThyEnvysGreed" claim he's the one who [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRr-N5_V_9s alerted wallflower]. What should we do with this faggot? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:33, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
* It's possible the guy's full of shit and just taking credit for something. Going by the comments 'they' have been making, this is quite likely; his 'group' seems to be out to make a name for themselves rather than just have a laugh at Chris's expense. Aside from that, just do what everyone seems to be doing already; spam his comments informing him of what a massive prick he is and that he should lay off the fucking donuts. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 16:51, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This. Seriously, guys, let's not give credit to faggots who want attention. Damage is done, we need to move on. Besides [[CWCki:CWCki_is#CWCki_is_about_Chris|CWCki is about Chris]], not so much faggots like this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:12, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**I agree with the comment spamming, just piledrive him into the dirt. He fucked up an opportunity for some awesome shit. I would understand if he were trying to get a laugh out of messing with Chris, but he's just looking for e-fame. I say we don't give him that much attention unless it's totally negative.--[[User:JRampancy|JRampancy]] 16:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I'll need to find the picture I saw on /cwc/, but he also had an account on Fanfiction.net and I think that's how he alerted her, since I don't think they allow anonymous reviews anymore. And it was the same screen name.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 17:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****Well gentlemen, I believe it's time to do what we do best. IT'S TROLLING TIME, LADS.[[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 17:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*Faggot deleted it. Did anyone save it? '''[[User:Odettafag|blind justice.]]''' [[User talk:Odettafag|to each his own.]] 18:11, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
** [http://rs336.rapidshare.com/files/362046356/whatafuckingtard.flv It's right there] [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:02, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*** Thanks! '''[[User:Odettafag|blind justice.]]''' [[User talk:Odettafag|to each his own.]] 19:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
He's a troll, you guys. Attention will only make him stronger unless we find his house (which is unlikely). Until someone can dox him, the best course of action is to ignore him, depriving him of his e-fame. Bonus points if fifty different accounts simultaneously claim that they're the ones who pissed off Wallflower so nobody takes his claims seriously.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:24, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***I can't believe he tucked tail and ran away so quickly. He did post on [[A message to the Trolls]] which is still there for the viewing. [[User:Meeko|Meeko]] 20:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)meeko
***There's also a message in [[Don't Mess With Me]], still in plain view and for all to see. He's like The Pinch - a coward who wants e-fame. Pure and simple.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 21:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*He destroyed your guy's plans to get drama out of a guy! Oh no. Just calm down. Seriously, it's not a big deal. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 05:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* It is. Chris is the most interesting when conversing with "normal" people - especially women. --[[User:Derpalerp|Derpalerp]] 08:28, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

** I found anothe possible leaker on twitter he/she says and I quote "Sonichuproducts @CWCSonichu I dare your faggot ass to do a curse ya fuck yo momma or whatever it is on me, I told Heather you dirty Retarded bitch."

could it be a lead or just an attention seeking fag?--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 23:17, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

==Now that Chris has dropped her name...==
Is it ok to mention her first name on this page?--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 15:41, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*You have a point, and I see the logic, but I think the whole point of removing her name was sending a message to the rest of the trolls (and the external observers) that we are actually decent people. To go back on that would be to lose a social lead which is more valuable than the person's name. Again, this is just what I think. Feel free to prove me wrong. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 15:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
*But there is no point in hiding her name, the problem with his page was the loads of information about her, not related to Chris, and since Chris mentioned her name; her name, her relation to Chris and anything Chris related shall be posted here, no more info about her. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 16:05, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:*You make a fair point, however given that Chris 1) assumes that it's a video only Tito will watch (forgetting that public YouTube videos are, you know, public) and 2) he's retarded like that, the thought that mentioning her name again probably didn't cross his mind. However, Wallflower asked us nicely to remove her page and adding her name back would sort of violate the spirit of that agreement. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:56, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::* I understand, but then, should we censor part of the kilt video when Chris says her name?, of course, keeping a copy of the original, and linking it on the page, and replacing her name with the pseudonym in the transcript. Better safe than sorry.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*In my opinion, censoring the material would only draw more attention to the Wallflower's identity. People would start looking at the stuff that has been deliberately removed and get more and more curious and try to find it. Especially if we have a copy of video with the name bleeped or transcript with the name removed, while Chris has the actual video up on his own account. My idea would be ''not'' to cover her identity specifically (which this article already does that), but if Chris keeps rambling about it, there's little we can really do. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 17:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::::* But this page, as well as the LittleBigPlanet one reference the wallflower's name and her likes, is not really hard to find her anyways.By the way, someone already censored it in the kilt video.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 18:24, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::* It would be nice if someone contact Wallflower and tells her that Chris keep on yelling her name on the internet while wearing a dress. I am concerned with all this. A well-determined Grieffer can still reach her because the manchild can't keep his pie-hole shut.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::**I've sent two messages to her on Facebook and she hasn't responded yet. Also, PVCC isn't telling us something--Scarlet/Kim/Emily knows Heather, according to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:38, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
::***Interesting twist. In this case, our best option is to lie down and wait for the PVCC to make their moves. They always bring the best Lulz. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:32, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
No. The CWCki needs to be smart about this kind of thing. When a person is angry about Chris's antics and actively asks the CWCki to take their information down, that person should be respected. It's fine to document Chris's antics that he publicly puts online, but Wallflower did not ask to be a part of Chris's online life and has specifically tried to distance herself from all this. For that matter, I'm of the opinion that if Megan ever came to the CWCki and asked to have materials taken down or hidden, it should be done, too. Same goes for Bob, Barb or anyone else who has not deliberately made themselves a part of Chris's online life. If a person deliberately makes themselves a part of Chris's online life, then their "details" are a fair thing to put up. If they are trying as hard as they can to get away from Chris's online life, then their "details" should be respected. The CWCki needs to be wise when it comes to liabilities. It is one thing to put up Chris's funny antics that he's made known publicly. It is another thing to put up unnecessary personal details of a person who has never asked to associate with Chris in a public way. Besides, all said and done, there's no need to document her name or her personal information to track Chris's stupid antics. It doesn't make Chris's antics any more funny. This brings up a great debate for the CWCki though: how far is too far? For me, I would hope there are limits. This is not a "lulz" site. [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 20:28, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

:::My two cents is adding first name is ok since he mentioned it and it is an unspecific referential index, which means it is vague. I don't see a problem with putting their names online since you can get records with their names on it from realtors, department of elections, white pages, or the city accessor's office for free. We should put in Damian Antaria and Heather into the article since Chris mentioned it. The CWCki '''Only''' records encounters with Chris not personal information such as SSN or credit card numbers. By your logic we would have to take down the site if Chris makes the request which is NOT going to happen. The CWCki site is only recording what Chris is doing. If anyone is to be held liable it is Chris for revealing the information. For example: ''When Scooter Libby leaked info on Valerie Plame the CIA agent to the New York Times, the New York Times did not get in trouble'' If trolls wanted to find the information they would with or without the CWCki. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 20:52, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Personally, I support her name not neing intentionally added here. I do, however, think it is stupid to try to hide her name intentionally. I think we should refer to her as the Wallflower, but if Chris says it in a video, merely changing it in the transcript is not only ineffective, it is annoying. If he presents the information, it takes 2 seconds to watch the video and hear the name. We let it stay in the transcripts merely for the sake of flow, but then we don't call her by that name anywhere else. I think that will give everyone pretty much what they want, as her name is not spread and her info is not known, but it isn't an eyesore to read and I don't have to be constantly reminded that I'm not supposed to know her name.
Tl;dr: Hiding the name on purpose is futile and, in a selfish light, detracts from my experience (which I rail against with full force). Don't take it out of what he says, but don't put it up elsewhere. That also means that the people who missed all this won't go insane trying to find info. Meh, my idea sucks, but I'll put it out there. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:44, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that it's easy to put the information together; if you Google up the information that Chris has given, you can find her easily. I think we should do more or less as you've said- present exactly what Chris says and not link the two together. Anyone who is really confused can look it up. It's no less confusing to a newb, IMO, than the articles that refer to Chris as "Ian" and Liquid as "Chris". [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 00:21, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
Flibel
* In case no one has been keeping tabs, the alias currently in the page had been discarded, so now we should be completely safe. (Did one of you talk to her?) --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 02:56, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Chris and math

2010-03-16T00:35:00Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

I think it would be for the best if we merged this and Chris and English into "Chris and Education". There's not enough information about Chris's mathematical prowess (or rather lack thereof) to merit a Chris and math article. - [[User:Larrykoopa13|larrykoopa13]] 19:06, 15 March 2010

:The name is misleading - it implies it covers his school experiences and/or opinions on the education system. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 00:34, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-16T00:29:37Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* TV Tropes page? */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4]]

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::** For added hilarity, may I suggest changing the article of the now to the [[Homos]] article? This may provoke Chris into making another attempt to "Sort out fact from fiction" at the best and make him rage at the least.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**Worth a shot. I know its a gamble, but if theres anything we know about Chris, its that he hates da homos, and especially hates being called one. It'd probably get us quite a lot of information. We thought we pretty much had Chris and his ideas of reality all summed up, and then we discover he honestly believes cartoons are real. I remember thinking, 'How the fuck did we not know that by now?' So who knows? Maybe we could get something fresh out of his stance on homos yet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:25, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**He went back and forth constantly during the Asperpedia saga, what with curing them and blowing them up and appoligizing the very day afterwards. I doubt we'll get anything more interesting than him blanking the Homos article and leaving the line "I am STRAIGHT YOU GODDAMN HOMO TROLLS!" on that front. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:58, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**You never know with Chris. Failing that, what about the article on [[Snorlax]]? We could always use more information on her. Or he'll just blank it and replace it with "LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE" and then we'll put the rule 34 the drunk drawfag made of him and Snorlax on his userpage. It's a good day when the best case scenario is "Chris tells us more information" and the worst case scenario is "Chris becomes angry".--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

===Clarification===
Based on a post someone made on Krapple, I think I might need to clarify what I was saying.

There's two basic approaches to how we can react to Chris:
# we fight him
# we ignore him

Any plan more or less boils down to one of these two, as I see it. Let's say we decide to turn this into a struggle - then we're going to self consciously self censor ourselves, which is something I refuse to do (save for someone's personal well being is at stake, see [[Wallflower]]). In fact, I'm not a fan of some of the edits people have made before. I personally doubt that Chris will suddenly take credence of things said on the CWCki when they've been said before on ED, on the ED forum he supposedly reads, the numerous calls, e-mails, letters, etc. from white knights trying to tell him information, etc. It's implied in pretty much all the sweetheart articles that Chris's sweethearts are all trolls. Yet Chris ''still'' believes that these were all TRUE and HONEST women who were attracted to him and suddenly died for various reasons. Aside from documenting Chris, CWCki serves to dispel misconceptions about him and the trolls that surround him so we don't have faggots spouting the same memes over and over.

Okay, so we really don't need to self censor - there really doesn't seem to be anything indicative that Chris will take what we say with any more creedence than say, ED or any faggot who gets through to him. Chris bringing attention to CWCki makes us a very valuable target for white knights. No, not faggots who genuinely want to defend Chris, I'm talking about faggots who want to gain Chris's trust and will assume that Chris will see their CWCki edits and reward them handsomely so they can get their 15 minutes of e-fame. Vandals get shot down usually fast here on CWCki but it's a bit of a bitch still.

There's a reason why people trust CWCki over ED and other sources about Chris. It's not because we look legit or anything like that. It's because we have ways of doing things. Edits are not whims. I heard some EDiot make fun of us because we use "citation needed" because we're that serious. If you're going to make an outrageous claim about Chris or claim he said something, you better be prepared to say where and when. CWCki is serious business. Probably part of the reason is because we're mostly independent of trolling - this isn't PVCC where if you piss someone off, you're banned. We're not Krapple either. CWCki is generally free to do its own thing. People are allowed to express themselves freely.

So what does this mean? It means that CWCki should stay CWCki, not an elaborate trolling pawn. It is far better that we ignore Chris or at most stand our ground and remain a valuable, less biased, accurate source of information about Chris than to devote our time and energy into making the CWCki into an elaborate way of trolling Chris. I'd rather not see people censor themselves and go to great lengths just to troll Chris with CWCki when such efforts could be used more constructively.

Let's see how Chris responds. If he puts up a fight, then we might do something. If not, then we can carry on as business as usual. In fact, we should be trying for business as usual. March Mumble Madness is still on, and plenty of the [[:Category:Mumble chats|Mumble chats]] still need to be transcribed. Don't worry about Chris discovering shit, just focus on the stuff you'd do any day. You CWCki admins are what ultimately make the CWCki so great, and I personally admire the time and dedication many of you have put in.

In the event Chris and/or white knights vandalize CWCki, jerkops, in addition to myself, Cogs, and Clyde will be on high alert for the next week or so.

In many ways, we are trolling Chris by not giving into his ego - the problem sometimes with creating villains for Chris is that it feeds into his delusion that he's some sort of hero and that he must defeat his villains to achieve his ultimate prize. In short, preserving the CWCki as it is and maintaining its integrity is our number one priority. Anything else is secondary.

Good night, CWCki, and good luck. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeh, it seems to me the correct response to all this is as little response as possible. Personally, I reckon that anybody expecting some kind of apocalyptic confrontation is going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, practically speaking, what can Chris do? Rage and complain a bit, try to blank a few pages perhaps, maybe put a curse on cogsdev. Not much else. Then the laziness will kick in and he'll go find some other way of making an ass of himself. As for the notion that he might actually learn something from reading the CWCki...well, if there's anything I've learned from reading and contributing to this site, it's that Chris believes what Chris wants to believe. There's not a hell of a lot here that he wants to believe. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 18:48, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

* I do agree that the CWCki needs to stand up against the vile manchild, because as soon as he sees that the CWCki isn't going anywhere, you know he's going to go on a warpath like he did with his ED page, and the ED website. But on the other hand, actually doing something may spread more fuel on Chris's fire, and that's something no one wants. Chris will think that this is just like the ED page, and this is like an arch rival he has to overcome again. My advice(if anyone is interested), I wouldn't do anything to provoke Chris, and just be polite about it, and not get into trolling him, because that may make things worse, and I agree it would ruin the CWCkipedias reputation, and I respect the CWCki too much to see that happen. But knowing Chris, he will do anything to take down the CWCki, and he's going to do it any way he can, so, at that point we would need the cavalry to come in and do the trolling for the CWCki, and put Chris in his place as always. But overall, I don't think he can do much at all aside from more Jewtube videos and BAWWWWs on his own CWCipedia quotes. Sadly for Chris, the CWCki isn't going anywhere, and for Chris, that may be the biggest insult of all. - Chris Pickles

*Well, its after the deadline, and i'm not seeing any response from Chris. He must be taking his time. I'm going to bed now. Maybe when I come back something intresting would have happened. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 03:51, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**He said Midnight Eastern Time, it's still 11 Eastern Time. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 03:55, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
**Plus, we don't know how long it will take him to realize that we aren't removing the articles. We can either post the "Chris, we have nothing to do with the loss of the Wallflower" note further down on this page or make [[Bob]], [[Snorlax]], [[Lies]], or [[Homos]] the AOTN so he may be inclined to "assist" in expanding those articles..--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:24, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***It's 20 minutes past midnight, eastern time. Once again, Chris failed to keep a promise. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:21, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris seems to check in on the internet at least once per day--he did his like forty minutes before the deadline, so we'll probably get our reaction whenever he does his next sweep. Could be that he's gone to bed and will check when he wakes up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:27, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
== Posse commitatus ==

Any able bodied CWCki user who feels they can regularly monitor CWCki for recent changes in the next week or so, please contact me for a special assignment.

Current jerkops, please be on full alert. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be home all day tomorrow and I'll likely be available this weekend. I'll help out as much as I can. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll gladly help. I don't really have anything important to do. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Recently registered but very long time follower of Chris Chan (Back when ED and the sonichu home page was all we had) and lurker around here since the Cwcki's inception. Will also gladly help, I may be unavailable starting tomorrow for 2-3 days but after that I literally have all day every day free for a while. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 05:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

:*P.S. Contact info is available on my user page. Please contact me privately, guys, if you really want to help.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

: possibly I get out of school early and will gladly help Message me on the details --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:45, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Reporting for duty Ma'am.I work from home and online anyway, so I have all day to monitor.-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:25, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== The Response(s) ==

I was told to put this on the Cwcki yesterday. It's a little late

''Dear Chris.
We of the CWCki site have seen your demands and would wish to respond to them.
First off, the CWCki's function is documentation, not trolling. We believe that your own CWCipedia does not fit all the criteria for being a wiki (only two people may edit) but is rather an online autobiography, and a rather one-sided one at that. We have filled this gap by creating an open and comprehensive documentation of you and your work.

Secondly, we of the CWCki pride ourselves in the accuracy of our articles. We strive constantly to attempt to check and double-check our articles for any errors. We have made no attempt to twist facts or lie in any way. If there is anything on our site that you believe is a lie, please let us know what it is.

Third, we never sent any message to your "girl friend", and we did not have any intention to. The person who sent the message is a third party member with no known ties to the CWCki.

Fourthly, since your "girl friend" ran away as quickly as she did, and since we go to great lengths to make our articles as accurate as possible, we are suspicious that you may have deceived her in some way. After all, if you were always telling the truth about yourself, why would she break up when she saw what she already knew?

Finally, we did not force your "girl friend" to leave you, she did that out of her own free will. We do not entirely understand why you are so angry at us for this.
Hoping our further communications will be on more friendly terms,
The CWCki''

:Well, could it hurt to make the Article of the Now into something from the Web of Life template(preferably Snorlax)? I'd like it if we could spit in his face at least a ''little'' bit before this is over.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:59, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Made some edits. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:47, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::*It looks fine to me.
::*I love this. Quite the perfect stance the CWCki need to take. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:19, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* You should make Bob AOTN - that way Chris will probably make some sort of statement on ihs health.--[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 22:46, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:**Either Bob or Snorlax would make a nice AOTN, but I'd prefer Snorlax on the off chance Chris tries to edit her page. He seems to have forgotten that we know what she looks like.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:56, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* All right, now that we seem to have the message settled, how are we going to give it to Chris? Do we place it somewhere on the CWCki? Do we email Chris? Or are we gonna do something else?[[User:Kraken|Kraken]]
:** We can put it right below the featured quote, he'll probably notice it there. Changing the featured article to Megan or SheCameForCWC.jpg is also an option.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 20:00, 13 March 2010 (UTC)

*Not to be a dick guys but c'mon, giving a formal message like this is contrary to the stance we're going to take. Giving Chris a response is feeding into his ego, even if it's a simple message. In any case, I have taken into your considerations for the Article of the Now, but personally, I was thinking [[Patti Chandler]] and with the most offensive fan art (one of the one where she's raping Chris or something like that) as the article of the now. Failing that, then maybe Snorlax. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:39, 13 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Thinking about it some more, I was a bit hard headed. Tell you what - if Chris pushes the CWCki thing so much, we'll make a video of this in addition to the quote of the now. That's if Chris responds, mind you. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Demands ==
Well, I think it's clear that he didn't even click on some of the articles--half of them are stubs to begin with. Also, he's extended his deadline and doesn't get why Heather had her article removed. Also the Hambeast has a name now. Who wants to take action?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 07:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* As usual, Chris puts absolutely no thought into his threats or demands, and has no intelligence to begin with anyways. There's nothing he can do to the cwcki, once again, Chris is fighting against something that he just has no power over, and it's completely beyond his control. My advice, I think we do need to fire back at Chris with something, just to show that the CWCki isn't going anywhere. I think we need to add some stuff to the articles he's complaining about, and improve them, maybe add some more details and maybe even revise some of the pages completely. I think that would stick in Chris's side pretty good. It's not what I would consider "Trolling", but just to show Chris that the CWCki is boss, and we do not have to do anything he says just because he doesn't like it. I would hold off on any kind of video response or direct action from the CWCkipedia, I think silence will kill Chris more. --[[user:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 05:12, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

*I disagree. While the theory is that giving him a response would just feed his ego, I think the discovery that the trolls made an entire wiki all about him was already enough to do that. I say we respond. I think we should use the letter to Chris seen above on the featured quote page as a way of telling him to fuck off. While we're at it, go about improving those articles as you said, and as was sugested, make Megan, or another 'Gal-Pal' the article of the now. If need be, we make the video too and put it with the featured quote. If he keeps quiet then we'll spare him the video and just leave him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 13:36, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

** You know Edward, I changed my mind, I agree with you 100%. I do think we should come up with a formal address to Chris himself via the front page of the cwcki. Something special for both Chris, and avid readers of the cwcki. Something sophisticated and swarmy I think. Insulting him would be pointless, but I think if we made a direct, formal address that doesn't pull any BS, and just gets right to the point, that would be awesome. At some point, the CWCki has to make its stand against Chris(because we only have till the 31st until chris UNVEILS HIS WRATH ARRGH!), and make it aware to people that no one is backing down. I just don't know what that address should be though, I guess it's something left up to the sysop to decide on, but it should be something that's well constructed, and just pisses Chris off as well. I mean, the guy just made a video admitting he's so desperate he would pay for hookers and begging for a girlfriend. So, there's no real reason to hold back, but I say represent the best of the cwcki. --[[Chris_Pickles]] 03:11, 15th March 2010 (UTC)
*** I think we ought to make it obvious to Chris why the pages have just been protected--you just know that his ego is going to twist that in his favor.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:05, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

* I'd go with Snorlax for maximum damage--he put a lot of emphasis on ALL OF MY RELATIVES and Bob/Barbara have the largest articles. He's freaking out about this because he's afraid that his parents are going to find out that we know about them(He didn't think we knew what they looked like). Snorlax especially, since she's adamant about staying off the internet. For bonus points make "SnorlaxCameForCWC" the image of the now.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 18:47, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** SheCameForCWC.jpg is also another option. Imagine what happens when Chris discovers that the hated image has it's own article. Also, I know someone has Rule 34 of Jivin, so we could make that the IOTN. Failing that we can use the rule 34 Isabel made of Magi-chan and the "Redesigned" Asperchu!Magi-chan.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
** Thats not two Magi-Chans. That image is of Magi-Chan and Swift, the exact Magi-Chan duplicate that Chris created while attempting to retcon Asperchu. The image is actually called 'Hecameforswift.png.' --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:59, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

* Why don't we just pretend to follow up with Chris's demands again? Even though it has been done before, I think it could be interesting to see what his reaction would be if we took the stuff out for a day or two. [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 07:22, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*And having Chris switch into "Smug Mode" for a while? No way. Besides, he's creating the most Lulz when his whims are denied. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
:*NEVER COMPROMISE, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ARMAGEDDON.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:01, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
**No. We do not negotiate with terrrorists. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 15:19, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== Page protections ==

In light of Chris's demands, I have opted to protect all of the pages he listed on CWCipedia. Reasons are twofold:
# to prevent Chris from editing them once he realizes that he can, you know, just get an account the pages.
# to prevent white knights, faggots, and other assorted idiots from complying with Chris's demands.

Whatever may come of this, CWCki will not comply with Chris's demands, as doing so would be a violation of the principles CWCki and wikis in general stand for.

I apologize for the page protections, but I feel this is a reasonable precautionary measure that may ease up the workload of our jerkops and admins who are already on high alert. If you feel you have information that must ABSOLUTELY go in the article, post it on the article talk page and an admin will determine whether to sort of it out.

Protections will last until 01 April, and depending on Chris's responses may be extended slightly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:53, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

== 500 internal server error ==

500 internal server error is completely fucking me up, there are moments that I can hardly edit pages because of it. I'm sorry if we allready have discussion on it, but we need more. [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 19:34, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I agree that those errors are annoying the shit out of me. In fact, I got one just now when I was trying to edit this page. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 22:02, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* Thirded-[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 22:28, 15 March 2010 (UTC)
* I know. This shit is annoying. Possibly the most annoying thing i've come across on the internet. And I've seen the 'Who broke the copier copier copier copier' ad. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:23, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

== TV Tropes page? ==

Should we have a page on the various TV Tropes pages of Sonichu, and the fact that Chris is a ''god'' in the Trope Pantheon ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces under Disgraces, the God of Bile Fascination, to be exact])? He's fourth from the bottom on that page, but for the sake of simplicity I'll list his "god" info here, as exact as I can make it:

<blockquote>
'''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Christian Weston Chandler], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination God of Bile Fascination]''' (CWC, Chris-Chan Sonichu, Ian Brandon Anderson)
* Quasideity [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo that thinks he's an Overdeity]
* Symbol: His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu] Medallion
* Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
* Portfolio: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible Comics that are unreadable] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination but that you can't stop coming back to], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Using narrative to prove his righteousness]
* Domains: Animal, Envy, Hatred, Lust, Pestilence, Sloth
* Rival with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Disgraces David Gonterman] for all his portfolios.
* Other enemies: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheImageboardThatMustNotBeNamed "4-Cent Garbage"], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Technology Sonic The Hedgehog], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Beast Pikachu], Anyone in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Justice Justice] for being Jerkops.
* Chris-Chan used to spend his days lurking in the House of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Pantheon/Love Love] but was banned. Ever since then he has sworn revenge by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished drawing them getting beaten up by him]
* Position: None. Apparently the other Disgraces keep him around so they can look good in comparison.
* Chance of Redemption: Slim to none.
</blockquote>

Who knows, maybe this "amazing honor" can be used in the "Did You Know..." section if a fake Chris-appeasing main page is used once the deadline passes? Just an idea. --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 22:56, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

:Please don't. TvTropes doesn't have an easy revert function, so when he shows up to try editing it will be a pain in the ass to clean up. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 00:29, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

Pocket knife

2010-03-14T18:18:41Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

[[Image:Chrisslitsthroat.jpg|How Chris wishes he could use the knife...|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Selfstab.jpg|How Chris will use the knife in real life|thumb|right]]
This pocket knife, given to him by the powers that be, is Chris's newest weapon to use as a means of threatening people.

Spoiler alert: It doesn't work.

== Use of knife ==
In [[Don't Mess With Me]], after Chris gets imaginary [[Clyde]] in a headlock, he takes out <strike>a knife</strike> his hand and then takes out his pocket knife. After fiddling with it for a good three seconds, he manages to get the blade out. He then uses it to slit Clyde's imaginary throat.

In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], he brings it out again and after fiddling with it for a good '''seven''' seconds, he manages to take out the blade and use it to threaten Tito.

Chris believes this knife is the cure to all his troll problems as he claimed that "he is armed" in his threat to this very CWCki. Obviously, Chris is overestimating the power of the blade and his competence with it were he to actually use it in a fight, as the mere act of opening it would give even the slowest opponent ample time to kick him in the [[duck]].

== Spotted in ==
*[[Don't Mess With Me]]
*[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]
{{Clear}}
==See Also==

* [[Fangs]]: Chris's previous weapon used to menace trolls.

{{Relics of Fail}}
[[Category:Relics of Fail]]

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-03-12T22:46:38Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* The Response(s) */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2]] 
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3]]

== Welcome to the future ==

Welcome to the glorious future of MediaWiki 1.15.1! MediaWiki 1.11 was really old and busted.

Here are some of the things people should be aware of:
* This version of MediaWiki uses a new markup parser. It's a ''stricter'' parser that works a little bit differently from the old one. Which incidentally means that if you have broken markup somewhere, it might have worked in previous version, but it doesn't work any more at all. You may see a lot of articles that have broken <center> tags. Make sure they're properly balanced!
* There are a few new features that we might put to good use. One is <nowiki>__HIDDENCAT__</nowiki>. You can use it to hide categories that are purely for ''editors,'' and don't actually have stuff that benefits ''readers''. For example, it's used in {{c|Stubs}} and {{c|Articles needing citations}} now.

I'll probably post more when I get inspired. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:19, 4 January 2010 (UTC)
: Some help needed at {{c|Templates}}. Some frequently used templates had consistently broken markup and have missing </center> tags. They also use <table> tags instead of MediaWiki table tags. Take a look at what I did at, say, [[:Template:Needs Images]] to see how to fix all of these, for the GLORIOUS FUTURE. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 12:37, 4 January 2010 (UTC)

===<nowiki><center></nowiki>===
I'm pretty sure the (center) thing comes when people put a <nowiki>{{quote}}</nowiki> inside a <nowiki><center></center></nowiki> tag; quote has its own center tags included, so when MediaWiki parses them both you get two open tags and two close tags. One of the open tags, then, is rendered as text. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 01:10, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*Problem can also be avoided by changing the 'center' tag on [[Template:Quote]] to CSS; I'll look at it later. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 14:59, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*That's more difficult than I expected... looks like '''<nowiki>{{quote}}</nowiki>''' is going to remain cludgey for the time being, until somebody more patient/learn'd than I takes a crack at it. --[[User:Umad|Umad]] 01:30, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

===Broken refs===
Similar issue: Some articles may use <nowiki><ref></nowiki> tags without corresponding <nowiki><references/></nowiki>. Previous version was silent about this, but new version puts a giant big red warning in the end of the articles. If you see it, please add a source section! --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 14:48, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and/New pages==
There's a lot of newfags, which isn't a bad thing but I think some people who decided to get into editing CWCki since we moved to the new server and who really haven't gotten a feel of how we do things around here. For starters, a lot of people want to start making pages which can be alright, but the problem is that they really don't get when a new page is warranted and when it's not. Particularly, it seems like the "Chris and" series is drawing a lot of attention to this regard.

For starters, let's discuss the "Chris and" series of articles. I think I might have actually come up with it, now that I think about it, mimicking how CWCkipedia might have an article like "x and y" to discuss topics that are too in depth for the main subject article. For example, there might be an article called "Thomas Jefferson and slavery" to discuss his views on slavery since it's such a huge topic that can't reasonably fit in the main Thomas Jefferson article. Same deal here - we could in theory mention this shit on the [[Christian Weston Chandler]] article but that would be huge, especially for topics like [[Chris and sex|sex]]. It would be awkward to call something like "Chris and sex" just "sex" since people know what sex is, what they want to know is Chris's relationship to it.

I think the problem is that every single trait of Chris does not need a lengthy discussion unless it's very notable. Do we need a full page discussion that Chris isn't reliable when it can simply be said "Chris is not very reliable"? Likewise, there's a need for a degree of subjectivity - what is reliability? It's not like Chris sets any deadlines to make. Furthermore, not everything has to be "Chris and." As I said elsewhere, pretty much every article on here could be a "Chris and [x]" article. [[HOMOS]] could easily be "Chris and homosexuality." [[JERKS]] could be "Chris and men." [[Women's rights]] could be "Chris and feminism." Point is, not everything has to be "Chris and." For fuck's sake, be original. Think of a better name. For example, "[[Chris and facts]]" could easily be called "The world according to Chris." Unorthodox but more original.

About new pages in general, seriously, not every little thing about Chris deserves a page if it can be incorporated into existing pages. As long as it's mentioned somewhere, it's cool. Srsly.

Feel free to weigh in on this. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:26, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:I like the Chris and: Series, I really do, but It's really only for things that play major, consistent roles in the bizarre story of Chris-Chan. Chris and writing is a good example. The way Chris writes is just so impossibly fucked up that it deserves more than just a single mention in the main chris article, but calling it just "Writing" is weird and awkward.
:I think some of these new articles could really go far. Chris and Authority seems like it could cover an awful lot, but people really need to draft their articles in their sandboxes or talkpages to show what they're aiming for instead of just making a page with the title and a half-paragraph.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:36, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*I have a mind to try a 'Chris and competition' article. Covering not just in regards to how he feels entitled to win all competitions, thats covered in Chris and his ego. I was thinking also about how he views things that he dislikes negatively because he believes it competes with something he does approve of, Such as with the whole 'Aspergers vs Autism' fight that he seems to believe exists. Or his strange idea that Harry Potter sucks for competing with pokemon, even though Harry Potter is a book and movie series and pokemon is a game and anime series. I'm not too sure about whether or not to go ahead with it though. I think it may end up being rather small. Do you think I should go for it, or incorperate it into another article? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:12, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
:*I say go for it. It's one of those weird quirks (of Chris) that we don't really understand because we haven't taken much of alook at it. Maybe start with a thread on /cwc/ to get more ideas/opinions about these things before you start writing. There's also how Chris 'competes' against other boys in his fuck quest, that might already be covered elsewhere, but maybe you could go more in-depth. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:34, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

==Asperpedia==
[[User:Clydec|Clyde]] has started Asperpedia, the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL wiki for [[Fan:Asperchu|Asperchu]], the electric hedgehog Pokemon with Asperger's syndrome. From what I've gathered from Clyde, it's going to be like a cross between CWCki and CWCipedia. As there's many gifted wiki editors here, I encourage all of you to help out there (particularly with uploading all the comic pages of Asperchu onto there).

Ideally, big things will come from this, wink wink stomp stomp nudge nudge. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:03, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*I'm such a dumbass, here's the [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page link]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:13, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
**I lol'd--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 06:39, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

==Quality control jerkops==
I have just promoted [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] as the CWCki's first Quality Control Jerkop to patrol the CWCki to ensure high quality Bavarian standards for CWCki (i.e. pages don't suck). There will be a 30 day probationary period, ending 07 February 2010 so he will have to prove in that period he can help maintain high quality standards for CWCki.

CWCki strives itself on providing top notch info about Chris and the idea is that these new Jerkops will assist in making sure the CWCki doesn't suck and the information is accurate.

Godspeed to Griffintown and if you have concerns about article quality, be sure to mention it to him. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:44, 7 January 2010 (UTC)

:*I would like to thanks Champthon for the great mark of confidence he did to me by giving me the extra powers needed to keep this place clean. If any member of the CWCki community feels the need to discuss any of my decisions here, please leave me a message on my [[User talk:Griffintown|talk page]]. I am ready to listen to any comment that can make the CWCki site a better reference on everything Chris-Related. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:28, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

I have also promoted [[User:Dude|Dude]] (formerly [[User:Umad|Umad]]) to Quality Control. Same thing as Griffintown, same probationary period. That's it for Quality Control promotions at the moment and I'll review how they do at the end of their probationary period to see if they remain permanently. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:52, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Thank you very much. I have recently been occupying myself with formatting issues and finding homes for [[Special:UnusedFiles|Unused Files]] (thank my meticulous Swiss ancestors), but I will now start being more proactive with page organization and content as well. Please do not hesitate contact me with thoughts, questions, suggestions or critiques! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:12, 12 January 2010 (UTC)

== Fixing internal links pointing to the old site ==

Apparently people used [http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Special:LinkSearch&target=http%3A%2F%2Fcogsdev.110mb.com%2Fcwcki%2F&namespace=0 tons of internal hard links to the old site]. Most of these are simply attempts to link at "tricky to link" entries, like categories and images. (Hint: You can make a link to a category or image if you prefix the link with a :, like <nowiki>[[:Category:Something|Category of Randomness]]</nowiki>.) The above link lists all such links in main namespace, which is pretty important. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:15, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

== Stuff that Chris didn't do ==

[[Chris and racism]] currently has a PROTIP that says that Chris never actually used the expression "darkies". It reminds me: Should we have some sort of list of stuff that's often ''attributed'' to Chris, but never happened in real life? (Some other examples that spring in mind: Chris hasn't used the word "niggos" regularly, and he didn't actually have 100% trophies in Sonichu 2006.) Or should we just have some template like the PROTIP template, like this...
{{Box
|title=<div style="text-align: left;">GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL:</div>
|image=Furyofmywrath.jpg
|img_border=1px solid rgb(170, 170, 255)
|img_width=90
|img_height=90
|border=rgb(170, 170, 255)
|head_bg=rgb(170, 170, 255)
|bg=rgb(255, 255, 255)
|width=450
|color=rgb(0, 0, 0)
|text='''Chris never said or wrote "No darkies", nor has he ever used the word "darkie". That doesn't make him a non-racist, however.'''
}}
Ideas? --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 19:26, 10 January 2010 (UTC)
*I actually like this a lot. This is a good thing for actual distributions to Chris. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:45, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
:*The protip thing, that is. It's kinda like a little "Did you know?" thing but should be restricted to common misconceptions about Chris (like the darkies thing). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:14, 11 January 2010 (UTC)
I think it needs the word INDIVIDUAL, for some reason. I think it's fine. Chris is a complicated animal and some of the more subtle things, like race relations, are open to misinterpretation. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:13, 10 January 2010 (UTC)

This is a most excellent idea. The template is catchy and allow proper info to flow through. I will use it in the future [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:20, 11 January 2010 (UTC)

== Unofficial Mailbag 41 project ==

I was originally going to have it so Chris would receive e-mails meant for Alec Benson Leary but instead, I did something more plausible by paying tribute to this [http://hrwiki.org/wiki/huttah! Strong Bad e-mail] by having every e-mail talk about Asperchu. Post e-mails in the same vein [[User:Champthom/Mailbag_41|here]] and I'll post them. '''Only rule is please, don't alter the first four e-mails.''' --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:02, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
*P.S. Deadline is like, in 24 hours. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:05, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

== DPF call? ==

So [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJgbVrFasxk these videos] have gotten some attention and it seems like the real deal. On the one hand, some of the people in the call seem like huge fags. On the other hand, there seems to be some nuggets of truth in it. So, should we make a page for this? Consider it "apocryphal?"? Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:41, 17 January 2010 (UTC)
*I can't listen to them right now, but I guess if an EDF idiot calls Chris and records it, it's our burden to transcribe it. Also, why the hell don't we have pages for Kacey Calls 2 and 3?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:56, 26 January 2010 (UTC)

== Suggestion: New category ==

Do you guys think that there should be a category for Chris-related media that has appeared publicly? By which I mean things like the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]] or the [[McIntire Park]] video that appeared on TV. Basically, anything that's NOT exclusive to the internet. [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 22:01, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
* The two radio shows that featured him could go in that category too, if they had their own page. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 22:29, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
:*Actually, there was a 3rd radio show on satellite that mentioned him. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:40, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
**Got it started. I also added the articles that were printed in Nintendo Power, for good measure. [[User:Tyranogre|Tyranogre]] 23:44, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

== Mailbags vs Simple Questions ==

I think Clyde already made a suggestion along these lines weeks ago, but can't we just replace the mailbags with series of simple questions? Most letters in the mailbags either: (A) insult Chris such that he deletes him, or (B) mix easy and hard questions such that Chris answers the easy questions but conveniently ignores the hard ones. If we replaced (or supplemented) the mailbags with series of questions (and more focused ones than what we're sending now), we could actually get Chris to answer tougher questions. Plus, less reading for Chris = a quicker turn-around time for answers = more opportunities for us to interrogate Chris about specific subjects. [[User:Llort|Llort]] 02:31, 27 January 2010 (UTC)
*Clyde's original intent was to replace the Mailbag with the questions, hence why he wanted to phase out [[CWCki:Operation Mailbag|Operation Mailbag]]. Unfortunately, Mailbag is a popular feature on CWCipedia and it's more or less devolving into a way to troll Chris than to get genuine information from him. Difference approaches to trolling are at play, I'm afraid. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:52, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Links to articles in heading ==

I think other pages do this, but I know this is particularly the case in [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. I'm not sure if this is good wiki style, as generally a heading shouldn't have a link but rather have a "Main article" link - for instance, the subsection of Sonichu really should have a note that says "Main article: Sonichu" for those who wish to delve into Sonichu. However, we can if we truly want to keep it like it is, but as I've said, let's try and mimic good wiki style. Thoughts? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:55, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Name for CWCki users? ==

Dumb thing to talk about, but any idea for a good term to describe CWCki users? Originally, "CWCkipedians" were used but that's confusing since there's now [[CWCipedia]]. "CWCki users" is used in some cases but it's a bit bland. CWCkians? CWCkifags? You people probably can come up with something better than I can. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:01, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
:CWCronologists. Christorians.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 14:52, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
*I like Christorians. We already use the term "Christory", so it makes sense to use this too. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:43, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
*I am sold to the "Christorians" term. So classy. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:07, 6 February 2010 (UTC)
== Today in Christory ==

You guys have really made a mess of the [[Template:Christory|Christory template]] in January! 20+ red links, I'm ashamed! Ofcourse, I'm partially to blame, but I was travelling and under stress and stuff, whilst all of YOU GUYS were playing with your xBoxes and wanking and doing the shit your kind tends to do. So, anyway, I just created all entries for February, but that doesn't mean you can slack off and ignore this again, you lazy editors! Whenever you find time just make a bunch of entries for march and beyong. Get it into your [[autism|routine]]. It's fun. Love and peace. [[Template:Christory]] :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 01:48, 30 January 2010 (UTC)

== 500 intenal servic error. ==

I keep getting these when clicking links. Is this a problem on my end, or is the website having trouble or what?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:21, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
: It's the website's fault - sometimes the site is a bit flaky, especially if you hit potentially intensive operations like page history or RecentChanges. Just try again. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 11:21, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
:Getting the same. Just hit [back] and try again. lol, I got one trying to post this. -[[User:Whoreos n' Milf|Whoreos n' Milf]] 19:45, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

== Suggestion: A Chris Inactivity Chart ==

Similar to the tracker on the front page for the comics, I think it would be nice to have a tracker for the days that Chris seemingly disappears off the face of the earth. Ever since things... escalated on his CWCipedia, he's been quieter than a North Korean dictator after a stroke. It might be nice just to have an official record of how long our glorious leader goes without making a statement to the masses. May I suggest "'''All Quiet on the Weston Front'''"?
-- [[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 08:35, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*I support this. Its a good idea for a main page feature and its a fairly good pun as well.--[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:08, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting idea, but it may be annoying to update it daily to show when Chris isn't inactive those times when he seems to update stuff every day. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Even if I hated this idea, I would support it for the sake of the pun. (And I happen to love the idea.) [[User:Llort|Llort]] 20:58, 4 February 2010 (UTC)

==Quintin Tarantino==

Would anyone be up for an article comparing Chris to Tarantino? Both are insensitive plagiarist, I think something good could be done here.
*No. Sign your comments--[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 18:41, 5 February 2010 (UTC)

== Piping ==

Someone, do me a favor - take [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Piping this] and rework it to make it relevant to CWCki.

Seriously, I am tired of fucking shitty piping. "Lack of female companionship" should not pipe to [[Virginia is for Virgins]]. I would personally pipe it to "virgin with rage" or something like that. There's too much shitty piping going on and it needs to stop. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:04, 6 February 2010 (UTC)

* How's [[Help:A Guide to Piping|this]]? [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 02:47, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

== Special assignment ==

I have a special assignment for the CWCki for those who wish to accept it. Prerequisite is you have a LOT of free time.

AIM me or contact me in #sonichu (details on my [[User:Champthom|user page]]) for more information. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:32, 10 February 2010 (UTC)

== Coca-cola ==

Considering how much CWC mentions coca-cola and his whole tangle with the company, should a Coca-Cola page be started? [[User:Chaosakita|Chaosakita]] 08:15, 27 February 2010 (UTC)
*This isn't the right place to suggest new articles. Also [[CWC Cola]] and [[My Coke Rewards]]. I guess that should cover most relevant shit on sugary kiddie-drinks, so no. :3 [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 03:25, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

===Announcement===

Since no one has risen to the challenge to be a temporary admin, instead I'll just say that until Tuesday, I'll be traveling and thus unable to monitor the CWCki. If there's some dispute how to do shit, sort it out amongst yourselves. If shit gets serious, then ask [[User:Cogsdev|Cogs]] or [[User:Clydec|Clyde]]. But ideally, I'm sure you're all big boys and girls and can sort things out yourself. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:27, 11 February 2010 (UTC)

== We should start a forum dedicated to Chris Chan's failings. ==

The CWCiki is awesome, I will admit. However, I have an great idea that if implanted correctly, will make the forum a success.

Someone here should start a forum dedicated completely to all of Chris Chan's failings. We can talk about anything Chris Chan releated and a lot more.

Does anyone agree? I'll start up the forum if so. [[User:Super Smash Bros. Fan|Super Smash Bros. Fan]] 21:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
*How would it be different from [[/cwc/]]? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 21:52, 28 February 2010 (UTC)
:*Or [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] (aside from the fact they aren't letting new people in, though MAYBE cogs will let you in if you edit the CWCki, but I doubt it)? --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:55, 1 March 2010 (UTC)

Not only other people are doing it better but any Forums based on Chris-Chan will drag some crowd from ED. As much as I love them, I don't want to see 13 y/o EDtards uploading their crap all over the CWCki. Yes, I am a sad bloke but a forum is not worth the extra effort. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:02, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

== Actual Wikipedia Page? ==

While the CWCki is a great source for information on the failure that is Chris, shouldnt we make him more... accessible to a mainstream audience? What im saying is that I believe the mastadonic level of Chris's failure throughout his life is legitamately noteable by the standard of Wikipedia at this point. He could easily be regarded as an "Internet Trolling Victim", and if the article is written from this perspective chances are the Wikiadmins will pass it. Share your thoughts. [[User:Gettanonymous|Gettanonymous]] 17:53, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
*Some people are gonna be like "WE DON'T WANT NEWBS TROLLING CHRIS" but that's not why I'd say that a Wikipedia article on Chris would be a bad idea. Essentially, based on [[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:Notability|notability guidelines]] on Wikipedia, for someone to be notable, you need for starters significant coverage and reliable secondary sources. To be honest, we're not really reliable since we're pretty biased as fuck, and Chris in the scheme of things isn't really that popular - he's been on maybe one, two big blogs but other than that he's mostly been on ED, random YouTube faggots' pages, etc. There's a lot of bigger Internet celebrities who don't have their own Wikipedia page and it's not the end of the world that they don't have them. Not to mention people regularly try to start a page for Chris and usually get shot down fast and frankly.
:I think CWCki does its best to present Chris to the mainstream better than say, ED. Just because we work to document Chris's fail does not mean we're on some sort of mission though to spread the word or anything like that. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:07, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
::It probably is too soon. But the harder Chris fails the more the public will start looking at him. Its only a matter of time before making a wikipedia page titled "Chistian Weston Chandler (Serial Rapist)" will be justifiable. [[User:Gettanonymous|Gettanonymous]] 18:12, 5 March 2010 (UTC)
:::This is the problem we have. Websites like ours or Wikipedia are pretty reactive. They are accessed by those seeking info. We are not pushing any messages out. For me, trying to put Chris-Chan up on Wikipedia in the name of accessing a mainstream audience is a moot point. Yes, I am waiting for Chris to produce an "Exhibit A" anytime soon. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 18:18, 5 March 2010 (UTC)

== So Chris has discovered the CWCki (finally) ==

As you can guess, he'll have to pry those pages from my COLD, DEAD HANDS before I consider deleting them. It's not surprising that Chris is targeting those particular pages, though maybe he's being pragmatic in that he knows he won't get the entire thing taken down.

<strike>Expect a video statement from me defending the CWCki and our refusal to comply</strike>. Much is at stake here, people, we shall not submit to Chris. CWCki policy refuses to censor itself (the only exception when there is a clear threat of direct harm as a result of something on the CWCki) and we shall not cave in to Chris's demands.

This is our hour, guys. Chris has discovered the fruits of our labor and we shall not go down without a fight. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We will not vanish without a fight! We are going to live on! We are going to survive! Today, we celebrate our CWCkindependance Day! --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 08:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*On second thought, I changed my mind about a video. As per [[CWCki:NOTED|"CWCki is not ED"]], we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him. While a CWCki saga would be interesting, I'd rather risk possible "lulz" than CWCki's reputation as a (mostly) reliable and open source of Chris related information. In other words, let's not feed into Chris's ego at the moment by not responding in the positive or affirmative to his threat. If he does respond in some way, well, we're take it from there.
:If one thing comes out of this, I really want to hear what Chris's opinion of the CWCki is. I wonder how far he's looked into the articles and I'm guessing if he's only seen the articles of people personally connected to him, he hasn't delved far. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:36, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Guys, I totally know how this will all go down. He's going to send some complaints, which won't work. Then he will register one or more accounts on this wiki and start editing, but of course with his edits we can all determine who he will be. Finally, he will include this website in a future installment of Sonichu, probably using a retarded plot like the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage building assault have formed a remnant organization called CWCki to use as a hideout, and he and all the mary-sues will come destroy the trolls once and for all. Chris will give himself new powers, Heather Dalley (or the Wallflower) will be gruesomely killed off and mourned for exactly ONE panel, CWCki will fall and Chris will have certain users horribly executed and claim moral victory for himself. After all this, nothing will have changed. --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 09:20, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

Didn't Chris already ramble previously about how trolls are good because most of the trolls are just documenting his life and acting like the paparazzi or something? Oh, wait, we hit the limit of his attention span. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*We need to find that exact quote, because at exactly midnight on 12 March 2010, that's gonna be the featured quote :3. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:38, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**It's in [[C.W.C._-_Thank_You_:)]]. Here's a go at it with the relevant portion, let me know what you think: --[[User:Executor32|Executor32]] 14:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|It is good to have my own [[Trolls|trolls]]. They may try, and sometimes succeed, in getting true, hard, [[Honest_Content|honest]] information from one, and they may later [[Chris_and_hypocrisy|twist the truth]] for their evil purposes. Just like the paparazzi. And, yet, they still, document the truth. And that text, audio, photographic, video, etc., type of information, is what separates the [[Ian_Brandon_Anderson|impostors]] from the [[Sammy|real]], [[Asperchu|true]], [[CChanSonichuCWC|honest individual]]. |[[Chris]], on what we do here, 03 [[August 2009]].}}

I was thinking about fucking with him. Delete those pages a few seconds before the deadline and put them back up shortly after midnight. He already hates us, so why not goad him on by exploiting loopholes? Until he comic murders us, we're his main villains. P.S. I'm glad that we were the direct cause of Chris' misfortune and pain. I love seeing him hurt. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 12:31, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*What about "Booby-Trapping" pages? We could link the edit buttons of the said pages to hard-core gay porn. This should do the trick. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:05, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
**If we do that, which might be a good idea to deter Chris from making edits, we'd need to have a legitimate (i.e. non gay porn) way to edit the pages, in case something needs to be added or changed on those pages. Maybe have a fake advert on the side that will link to the edit page instead. But something that wouldn't interest Chris, so he won't click on it. [[User_talk:Rubidium|37]] [[User:Rubidium|'''Rb''']] [[Special:Contributions/Rubidium|85.468]] 15:42, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
***Chris used paper strips to hide a side of his computer monitor when he uploads on his shitty site CWCipedia so he won't see the porn. I have a better idea; what about a "Pop-Up" window covering the edit page of all the articles? You want to edit? You must close the Phalus-Enhanced window that had just popped on your screen. That would be quite a deterrent for Chris and a minor hassle for us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:22, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****And for those of us with a pop-up blocker, it won't be a problem at all. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 16:55, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
****I support this. Having gay porn come up every time he tries edit warring would end this quickly. We can expect the CWCipedia forces surender within less than a week of the ads coming up. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:43, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
*****CWCki is not here for trolling him. Except with the truth. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 19:35, 11 March 2010 (UTC){{quote|As per "CWCki is not ED", we're not so much mocking Chris but trying to explain him.|[[Cogsdev]], just a few paragraphs ago.}}
::::*I'm with cogs all the way on this one. We don't need to shit all over the CWCki in an attempt to piss Chris off. We exist. That's all we need to do.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 19:40, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Actually, I said that but Cogs would be flattered in either case :3. TK said it better than I ever could. For that reason, we shouldn't try to turn CWCki into a trolling weapon. Doing so would turn the CWCki into something it isn't, at least as I see it. Something might go down but the CWCki itself won't be involved, just the persons involved, per say. If CWCki is going to be involved, it will be what we've always done and as TK put, have always done - troll Chris with the truth. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:01, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You misunderstand. I support the gay porn links for use as a defense mechanism against Chris fucking with the pages. You know he will try with at least a few pages, and even if we don't go with that idea of gay porn links, I think we should do something to stop him fucking shit up. It shouldn't be harder to handle then any of the regular vandals here, but it'd be a good if we could somehow stop it happening in the first place. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:32, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Remember his edits to the ED page. He didn't do much except blank it a couple of times, and the CWCki is way too huge for him to significantly damage. He might even give us some gems, remember [[shecameforcwc.jpg]]? We might get something nice like that.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 21:39, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Any edits Chris attempts to make will be A) Pathetic B) Funny or C) Informative. Also, Chris never attempted to alter the Asperpedia to my knowledge, even though you don't need an account to do so. Either way, I don't think we need to take any precautionary steps. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 22:07, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* Dont cave in to the basterds wills we shall stand as one--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:47, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::* As much as I would have loved stashing defensive porn everywhere, an "Open Door" policy will bring much more material to us. T K is right; looks like our "muse" will delivers us fresh material at our doorsteps this Friday. We better act nice... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 22:54, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Just leave him to it, document his edits and then revert them. Whatever ensues will be hilarious. [[User:JerichoJack|JerichoJack]] 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::** For added hilarity, may I suggest changing the article of the now to the [[Homos]] article? This may provoke Chris into making another attempt to "Sort out fact from fiction" at the best and make him rage at the least.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**Worth a shot. I know its a gamble, but if theres anything we know about Chris, its that he hates da homos, and especially hates being called one. It'd probably get us quite a lot of information. We thought we pretty much had Chris and his ideas of reality all summed up, and then we discover he honestly believes cartoons are real. I remember thinking, 'How the fuck did we not know that by now?' So who knows? Maybe we could get something fresh out of his stance on homos yet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:25, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**He went back and forth constantly during the Asperpedia saga, what with curing them and blowing them up and appoligizing the very day afterwards. I doubt we'll get anything more interesting than him blanking the Homos article and leaving the line "I am STRAIGHT YOU GODDAMN HOMO TROLLS!" on that front. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 01:58, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::::**You never know with Chris. Failing that, what about the article on [[Snorlax]]? We could always use more information on her. Or he'll just blank it and replace it with "LEAVE MY MOTHER ALONE" and then we'll put the rule 34 the drunk drawfag made of him and Snorlax on his userpage. It's a good day when the best case scenario is "Chris tells us more information" and the worst case scenario is "Chris becomes angry".--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:14, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

===Clarification===
Based on a post someone made on Krapple, I think I might need to clarify what I was saying.

There's two basic approaches to how we can react to Chris:
# we fight him
# we ignore him

Any plan more or less boils down to one of these two, as I see it. Let's say we decide to turn this into a struggle - then we're going to self consciously self censor ourselves, which is something I refuse to do (save for someone's personal well being is at stake, see [[Wallflower]]). In fact, I'm not a fan of some of the edits people have made before. I personally doubt that Chris will suddenly take credence of things said on the CWCki when they've been said before on ED, on the ED forum he supposedly reads, the numerous calls, e-mails, letters, etc. from white knights trying to tell him information, etc. It's implied in pretty much all the sweetheart articles that Chris's sweethearts are all trolls. Yet Chris ''still'' believes that these were all TRUE and HONEST women who were attracted to him and suddenly died for various reasons. Aside from documenting Chris, CWCki serves to dispel misconceptions about him and the trolls that surround him so we don't have faggots spouting the same memes over and over.

Okay, so we really don't need to self censor - there really doesn't seem to be anything indicative that Chris will take what we say with any more creedence than say, ED or any faggot who gets through to him. Chris bringing attention to CWCki makes us a very valuable target for white knights. No, not faggots who genuinely want to defend Chris, I'm talking about faggots who want to gain Chris's trust and will assume that Chris will see their CWCki edits and reward them handsomely so they can get their 15 minutes of e-fame. Vandals get shot down usually fast here on CWCki but it's a bit of a bitch still.

There's a reason why people trust CWCki over ED and other sources about Chris. It's not because we look legit or anything like that. It's because we have ways of doing things. Edits are not whims. I heard some EDiot make fun of us because we use "citation needed" because we're that serious. If you're going to make an outrageous claim about Chris or claim he said something, you better be prepared to say where and when. CWCki is serious business. Probably part of the reason is because we're mostly independent of trolling - this isn't PVCC where if you piss someone off, you're banned. We're not Krapple either. CWCki is generally free to do its own thing. People are allowed to express themselves freely.

So what does this mean? It means that CWCki should stay CWCki, not an elaborate trolling pawn. It is far better that we ignore Chris or at most stand our ground and remain a valuable, less biased, accurate source of information about Chris than to devote our time and energy into making the CWCki into an elaborate way of trolling Chris. I'd rather not see people censor themselves and go to great lengths just to troll Chris with CWCki when such efforts could be used more constructively.

Let's see how Chris responds. If he puts up a fight, then we might do something. If not, then we can carry on as business as usual. In fact, we should be trying for business as usual. March Mumble Madness is still on, and plenty of the [[:Category:Mumble chats|Mumble chats]] still need to be transcribed. Don't worry about Chris discovering shit, just focus on the stuff you'd do any day. You CWCki admins are what ultimately make the CWCki so great, and I personally admire the time and dedication many of you have put in.

In the event Chris and/or white knights vandalize CWCki, jerkops, in addition to myself, Cogs, and Clyde will be on high alert for the next week or so.

In many ways, we are trolling Chris by not giving into his ego - the problem sometimes with creating villains for Chris is that it feeds into his delusion that he's some sort of hero and that he must defeat his villains to achieve his ultimate prize. In short, preserving the CWCki as it is and maintaining its integrity is our number one priority. Anything else is secondary.

Good night, CWCki, and good luck. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 11:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeh, it seems to me the correct response to all this is as little response as possible. Personally, I reckon that anybody expecting some kind of apocalyptic confrontation is going to be sorely disappointed. I mean, practically speaking, what can Chris do? Rage and complain a bit, try to blank a few pages perhaps, maybe put a curse on cogsdev. Not much else. Then the laziness will kick in and he'll go find some other way of making an ass of himself. As for the notion that he might actually learn something from reading the CWCki...well, if there's anything I've learned from reading and contributing to this site, it's that Chris believes what Chris wants to believe. There's not a hell of a lot here that he wants to believe. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 18:48, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

== Posse commitatus ==

Any able bodied CWCki user who feels they can regularly monitor CWCki for recent changes in the next week or so, please contact me for a special assignment.

Current jerkops, please be on full alert. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:18, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll be home all day tomorrow and I'll likely be available this weekend. I'll help out as much as I can. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:42, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* I'll gladly help. I don't really have anything important to do. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:03, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
* Recently registered but very long time follower of Chris Chan (Back when ED and the sonichu home page was all we had) and lurker around here since the Cwcki's inception. Will also gladly help, I may be unavailable starting tomorrow for 2-3 days but after that I literally have all day every day free for a while. [[User:Hurrrr2|Hurrrr2]] 05:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

:*P.S. Contact info is available on my user page. Please contact me privately, guys, if you really want to help.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:12, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

: possibly I get out of school early and will gladly help Message me on the details --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:45, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

== The Response(s) ==

I was told to put this on the Cwcki yesterday. It's a little late

''Dear Chris.
We of the CWCki site have seen your demands and would wish to respond to them.
First off, the CWCki's function is documentation, not trolling. We believe that your own CWCipedia does not fit all the criteria for being a wiki (only two people may edit) but is rather an online autobiography, and a rather one-sided one at that. We have filled this gap by creating an open and comprehensive documentation of you and your work.

Secondly, we of the CWCki pride ourselves in the accuracy of our articles. We strive constantly to attempt to check and double-check our articles for any errors. We have made no attempt to twist facts or lie in any way. If there is anything on our site that you believe is a lie, please let us know what it is.

Third, we never sent any message to your "girl friend", and we did not have any intention to. The person who sent the message is a third party member with no known ties to the CWCki.

Fourthly, since your "girl friend" ran away as quickly as she did, and since we go to great lengths to make our articles as accurate as possible, we are suspicious that you may have deceived her in some way. After all, if you were always telling the truth about yourself, why would she break up when she saw what she already knew?

Finally, we did not force your "girl friend" to leave you, she did that out of her own free will. We do not entirely understand why you are so angry at us for this.
Hoping our further communications will be on more friendly terms,
The CWCki''

:Well, could it hurt to make the Article of the Now into something from the Web of Life template(preferably Snorlax)? I'd like it if we could spit in his face at least a ''little'' bit before this is over.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:59, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Made some edits. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 07:47, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
::*It looks fine to me.
::*I love this. Quite the perfect stance the CWCki need to take. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:19, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
:* You should make Bob AOTN - that way Chris will probably make some sort of statement on ihs health. --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 22:46, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

Bob Chandler

2010-03-07T08:55:16Z

LeninandMcCarthy: Can anyone explain what that sentence said besides "we don't know"?

: ''"'''Bob'''" redirects here. For the troll occasionally known as Bob, see [[Robert Simmons V]].''

{{quote|Get away from the Internet!
I'm cutting it down, right now.|Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.}}

[[Image:Chrischansdad.jpg|thumb|Bob is old. He makes sure to let you know that.]]
[[Image:DemonicLumberjack.jpg|thumb|'''The Internet Lumberjack''' in his Final Form.]]

'''Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (04 [[Wikipedia:1927#September|September 1927]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html#P155</ref>–some time this week) is [[Chris|Chris's]] father.

Despite being a racist and homophobic redneck, '''Bob''' became a firm favorite with [[trolls]] due to Chris's intense dislike of him and Bob's infamous cameo when [[Bob Walks In|he walked in on Chris fapping]]. His nickname, the "Internet Lumberjack", comes from this incident.

While loathed by and estranged from his other children and step-child, Bob is still viewed as a better parent than his wife [[Barbara]], due to him being somewhat concerned with Chris's current status as a [[virgin with rage]], and the fact that he occasionally tries to guilt him into being more considerate by bringing up the fact that he's devoted 28 years to raising a selfish manchild. Of course, Chris is unfazed by these attempts.

To date, Bob has conversed with numerous trolls. Thanks to his tendency to yap on, more information has become known.

==Biography==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|Bob is a pretty "old fashioned" type of guy.]]

===Service and education===

Bob was born in Texas and raised in Alabama.<ref name="About">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)]]</ref>

Bob was drafted after World War II and placed in the Signal Corps. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. When he got out, he couldn't get a job and so went to college on the G.I. Bill.<ref name="About" />

Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college to study Pre-Engineering for two years. He was also in a band and learned a lot about music. He then moved onto Auburn University, a big college, to earn his engineering degree.<ref name="About" /> As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)]]</ref>

===Career===

Bob worked for Western Electric for 40 years. Using skills learned in the army, he built for the company their first automatic [something] (it's unclear what Bob says here). General Electric heard about it and offered him a job in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time.<ref name="About" /> He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.<ref name="PSN 37" />

With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. [[Barbara]] claimed, in an e-mail to [[Miyamoto]], that because of Bob's influence in the computer world, the NES "might not have arrived so soon" (despite video game technology actually being pioneered by Ralph Baer).<ref name="Barbara" />

As examples of Bob's accom-PLISH-ments, as Chris would say, he automated a steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for papers into the form of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads, and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, and machines for producing plastic products.<ref name="About" /> A fact that both Chris and Barbara have bragged about is that Bob designed controls for plastic water [container] molding machines...<ref name="About" /><ref name="Barbara">[[Miyamoto Saga#Barbara]]</ref>

===World consciousness===
[[Image:0012-BobbyReading.jpg|thumb|Bob learning how to cut that Internet down.]]

...on the other hand, Bob himself is proud of his "natural inclination for logic," although he is "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world.<ref name="About" />

Speaking of the world, Bob has been interested in it since he was 10, and has become very world conscious as a believer in the United Nations. He began by collecting foreign stamps in the 1930s. He has collected 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures.<ref name="PSN 37" /> Bob traveled the world in his day for business and [[china|pleasure]].

Politically, Bob identifies as a Republican, and did not vote for [[Barack Obama]] in the 2008 presidential election.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k</ref>

In a potentially damaging moment on 18 [[February 2009]], Bob doubted the existence of [[Molvanîa]], [[Julie]]'s fictional country of origin.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control.<ref name="PSN 37">[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref>

===Health and late life===
[[Image:LumberjackTapestry.JPG|thumb|Robert had English ancestry.]]

Bob lives on social security and General Electric pension.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> He hasn't really had people to chat with (he loves to ramble if the person shows some slight interest), so he sits around, listens to music,<ref name="PSN 37" /> and takes care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he goes to "swing with the music" on his swing there.<ref name="Raising" />

Bob has had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. He wears a pacemaker. He attributes his long life to the [[Cherokee]] in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived to 90-100.<ref name="PSN 37" />

A major question in the troll community is what will happen if and when Bob dies before Barbara.

On 1 March 2010, Chris [[Twitter|Twittered]] that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for congested [sic] heart failure. Chris seemed confident that his father would be coming home shortly. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, [[Chris and death|Chris's outlook on the situation may be premature, if not extremely optimistic]]. Bob is the only thing keeping [[14_Branchland_Court|the Chandler household]] from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wish him the best.

As of 7 March 2010, nothing more is known about Bob's condition other than that he was in the hospital for congestive heart failure. Information about his condition may be hard to come by, as we only learn something [[Ego|once it has inconvenienced Chris enough for him to come online and complain about it]]. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congestive_heart_failure Congenital Heart Failure on Wikipedia]</ref> But again, Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle make this a serious matter.

Outside of Chris, the only other way to keep tabs on Bob's health might be to [http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/ read the Charlottesville obituaries].

==Relationships==

===Previous family===

Bob is out of contact<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> with his son [[David Alan Chandler]] and daughter [[Carol Suzanne Chandler]], who both lead successful careers. For example, Chris did not know he had a niece named [[Savannah Chandler|Savannah]] until she was 8 years old.<ref>[[CWC's Diary#January 2004]]</ref>

===Barbara===
[[Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg|thumb|With [[barbara Chandler|Barb]]]]

To continue with the music theme, Bob and [[Barbara]] met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, [[Cole|Cole's]] friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref name="Cole2" /> They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara has not had sex with [[Bob]] for at least two decades. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> This is possibly due to an attempt to avoid spawning another subhuman freak like Chris.

===Cole===

Bob married Barbara when her son [[Cole]] was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.

Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole will celebrate<ref name="Cole2">[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email, page 2]]</ref> "when that fuck Bob finally drops."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|Email from Cole to Chris]]</ref> Cole said that he and Bob share a mutual hatred,<ref name="Cole2" /> though we have no evidence yet that Bob hates Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knows Cole doesn't like him.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

===Chris===
[[Image:0106-ChristianWDad.jpg|thumb|"You tell them that you fell down some stairs or else I'm cutting down your Nintendo."]]

Bob wishes Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris, but he thinks (and rightly so) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on TV, and only can associate with the places he's been in Virginia.<ref name="PSN 37" />

Bob's joke that [[Barack Obama]] would paint the White House black as soon as he became president influenced Chris to draw it in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.

{{quote|well, my father is a major stressor against me; starts arguements[sic], annoys me, rarely washes his hands after restroom breaks (lord knows I've tried to encourage him to wash numerous time, and rarely succeeded.|Chris, [[IRC (31 December 2008)]]}}

After meeting with Bob personally and finding him to be quite pleasant and amicable, it became obvious that he wasn't "starting arguments", as Chris asserts, but rather most likely rightfully criticizing Chris's behaviors and encouraging to better himself, which would involve work, and Chris is too lazy to do that. It has been reported Bob will mention to him that he has taken care of his autistic ass for 27 years and so Chris should be more grateful. But selfish and apathetic Chris couldn't give two shits, figuring that they're ''obligated'' as parents to take care of his autistic ass, seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help".

Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him.'''<ref>[[Mumble 1#Transcript|Mumble Chat 1]]</ref>

==Audio and video appearances==

In every appearance, Bob has proved himself to be better at charming Chris's [[sweetheart]]s than Chris himself.

* 14 [[February 2009]]: [[Bob Walks In]] to Chris [[mass debating]].
* 18 [[February 2009]]: In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]] and [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7|3.7]], Bob rambles to [[Julie]].
* 15 [[March 2009]]: Bob talked to [[Robert Simmons V]] at [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] while [[Church audio|Chris went to shit himself]].
* [[March 2009]]: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with [[Emily]].
* 27 [[March 2009]]: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the [[Tour of Christian's House]], but is not visible.
* 27 [[August 2009]]: [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob enters Chris's room]] and scolds him for making the [[Tour of Christian's House|house tour video]], (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
* [[November 2009]]: Bob and [[Barb|Snorlax]] make a brief appearance at the end of the [[Kacey and Liquid Call]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:0009-ChristopherChristmas2.jpg
Image:0011-ChristopherBobXmas.jpg|Bob at [[Christmas]] time.
Image:0014-YoungerFather.jpg
Image:0032-BobAtRestraunt.jpg|The epitome of handsome.
Image:0038-AuntCorinaAndDad.jpg|Bob with [[Aunt Corina]].
Image:0062-NewChristian&Dad.jpg|Notice Chris's discomfort.
Image:0120-BobbyBehindBars.jpg|Bob won't let a fence get in the way of cutting down Chris's Internet.
Image:0230-ChristianAndDadInClass.jpg|Bob: fashion icon.
Image:0626-BobbyInGarden.jpg|When Bob isn't arguing with Chris or cutting down his Internet, he enjoys gardening.
</gallery>
</center>
{{Fan Art|chris=Bob Chandler}}

==Sauces==
<references />

{{People}}
{{Not_Jerks}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Bob}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Talk:Bob Chandler

2010-03-04T05:56:19Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Congestive heart failure */

==To do==
*<strike>Picture of Bob</strike>
**Bob looks like fucking Jigsaw. Scary. [[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:34, 7 February 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's relationship with Bob, in Chris's own words
*add some background to Bob's history. He goes on about himself in the date audio, and he's a pretty interesting guy, like he saw the first plastic Coke bottles shipped off from the assembly line, and he was in the Signal Corps and all sorts of other interesting stuff. We need some of that in here. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:06, 26 March 2009 (CET)

(Quick question - whats the date audio? Thanks!)
*...the audio of Chris's date with [[Emily]]. As seen available on the [[The Miscreants]] website. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:31, 17 April 2009 (CEST)

Should I mention he just got sent to the hospital in the health section with congestive heart failure? [[Shawths|Shawths]]

==Great job!==

Seriously, this article is terrific now. I'm surprised how far it's come. Good work to all those involved. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 10:11, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

: Still need more on video games and raising Chris. The section on Chris should be the biggest in this article. Will wait for others to finish transcribing because I can't make out Bob's quiet voice in church & Emily. [[User:Axe|Axe]] 10:24, 11 June 2009 (CEST)

== Bob's birthday ==

Why did everyone think it was Feb. 9th instead of Sept. 4? Does Chris not know when his father's birthday is? [[User:Sauerkraut131|Sauerkraut131]] 04:41, 27 June 2009 (CEST)
*No, it's just hard to tell from the Family Tree poster since it's in microscopic print. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 06:27, 27 June 2009 (CEST)

==Radio Station Gig==
According to some of the recordings via Yahoo Messenger, didn't Bob worked at a radio station at one time? [[User:Decoy Octillery|Decoy Octillery]] 21:01, 5 August 2009 (CEST)

==i suck==

Hi, first time editor, long time lurker. I called CWC's house today, hoping to talk to him, but I got Bob instead. Those other people exaggerated about Bob's bravado in their callfail video, Bob isn't much of an opponent if you don't let him get a word in, he just seems to stammer a lot. Of note, he recognized my Texas area code (432) and said he was from Texas, and that he knew some KKK people who he said he would send over to my house if I didn't stop calling. Unfortunately it's lost to time because I can't record from my cellphone and maintain a decent quality. I called him in the morning, when he woke up I honestly thought it was Chris. Anyways, I suck at this shit, I'm gonna just lurk and wtach from now on. I don't have what it takes to be a troll. Thanks for the interesting page, and sorry I don't have any audio to give you guys. [[User:ColossalFail|ColossalFail]] 19:35, 28 November 2009 (CET)

==Hey... ==

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIoS-gPOA0k]

My friend sent me this video earlier today. It has to do with someone prank calling Bob to get more info out of him involving his current life. Is there anything in it we could possibly use for this article? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 16:41, 20 February 2010 (EST)

==Congestive heart failure==
{{protip|[[CWCki:NOTAFORUM|CWCki is not a forum]]. Discussion regarding the accuracy of these tweets are reasonable, but trolling plans in regards have no place on PVCC.}}
Damn. We all knew this was coming eventually, but still.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

: We haven't confirmed it was actually Chris yet--I'm personally at 60-40 Chris, the writing style seems off(the Random Capitalization is unusual) but his posting pattern makes sense. Chris only seems to use Twitter when the CWCipedia has dicks on it and I doubt that he's checked recently.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*The Twitter is his, he's written in the [[CWC Blog]] about it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** I don't see it on the CWCipedia updates.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:02, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:***It would explain his lack of presence for the last few days.
: Huh, I don't see that tweet on [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu his Twitter account]. Did he delete it, or am I just missing it somehow? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 04:55, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* No, it's there. It starts with "Captain's Log Stardate March 1st"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:13, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:** Oh, now I see it. Thanks! *[[slow-in-the-mind]]* --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 17:51, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
I don't want to live in a Cwcville without Bob. If he dies, I'll kill myself.
''

I'm going to kill myself if Bob Chandler dies
I'm going to kill myself if he makes me cry
I'll slit my wrists or I'll cut my throat
but I'll kill myself, I'll kill myself, by bleeding on his doorstep.''

[[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 05:50, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

:My grandma died due to congestive heart failure. It isn't a pretty sight. -PeaceCeapPea

:I just heard the news. Dammit, Bob is awesome, I'm praying he doesn't kick it! PLEASE DON'T DIE, BOB! :'( [[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 06:57, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Just to be clear, CHF doesn't necessarily mean heart attack/failure/imminent death. What it means is that the heart is weakened and is having trouble pumping enough blood to the rest of the body. A lot of overweight and older people develop CHF and don't kick off immediately because of it, and it is treatable. So Bob may live to chop down more internets yet. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 07:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

He spent 2 tweets discussing how his dad has a serious health issue, then six talking about himself and Sonichu. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I know, right? What the fuck? That's pretty low. I know Chris has [[Mumble 1|implied]] that he doesn't love Bob, but I'd expect more than that. People always joke about Bob dying, but I wouldn't like that at all. He is the only sliver of awesome left in Chris's life. - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 11:20, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*The thing is, people think that without Bob, we'd get more interesting results from Chris. Bob kept Chris from going to Redmond. Bob is more or less the reason why Chris won't travel anywhere for a troll. Anyways, I think the concern is that Bob has a long history of heart problems already and given his age, he's taken quite a beating and it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that this might do him in. Not that I pray for the death of Bob, mind you, only that this is the rationale of people focusing on Bob's death and why people aren't exactly optimistic. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:27, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I wouldn't expected anything else from him. What about "I am putting ''Sonichu'' on hold because my father is at the hospital"? That wouldn't have been a novelty. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all do something nice for Lumberjack. Make his life a little easier. We should call in and wish him good health. How much better will he feel knowing that he is more loved than his internet famous son? He'd perk up right away. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 16:18, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:* He appreciated [[4 September 2009|Vivian's card]], that's probably a good idea. A picnic hamper perhaps? Some kind of gift package with food and/or nice shit. Chris won't go to that trouble; someone should.- [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 16:33, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*If someone sets up a paypal, I'd chip in 10 bucks. He's the internet lumberjack, after all.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:34, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I agree, that would be cool. [[User:Lynxr|–Ich bin schwul, '''Lynxr'''. Ich bin schwul.–]] 19:03, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I plan on sending flowers by myself in the next few days. Some kind of "Get Well" bouquet. The man deserves it. He went through a lot and, even if he could had done better with Chris, he deserves a break. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*I've started a /cwc/ thread on this here: http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/24043.html - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 18:54, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I really hope Bob pulls through for Chris's sake. I really hate Chris but I know what it's like to lose one's father, and that's not something I'd wish upon anybody else. --[[User:Dann Woolf|Dann Woolf]] 16:44, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Yeah, seriously. I hope Bob gets well soon.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 19:17, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
** Same here. Out of the Chandlers, Bob is easily the most likeable.....which isn't exactly that difficult seeing the rest of the Chandlers, but still.. --[[User:Torvalr|Torvalr]] 19:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey, all the colossal dicks are gone from the Cwcipedia. A mark of respect? --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:08, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*Sadly, it looks like it. Chris do not deserve any respect. CWCipedia should be a ground for Cock-Parades 24/7/365 [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
**Dude, his dad could be fucking ''dying''. I think it's a nice gesture - that's why I mentioned it.--[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 22:31, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***I never saw Chris acting with compassion towards someone before, I don't see why we should indulge in Moral-Faggotery because of Bob's issues. As much as I respect the Old Man, He's not the jerk we all love to hate. This is why I strongly believe that the ads must be put back in place. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 23:25, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
::*Chris's 'stress' probably gets passed onto Bob. When Bob is in stable condition, there's no way Chris will be able to put his needs ahead of his own. He'll be getting all cunty about the trolling that he's receiving and not helping Bob's situaition at all. I say lay off and go with [[User:Edward|Edward's]] idea. Well wishes and get well soon ads for Bob. So what if Chris gets smug. Smug Chris is positive happy Chris, it's the closest he gets to that emotion. We can put up with that while his dad's in hospital, right? - [[User:Liquid!|Liquid!]] 00:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Seconded. /Scruffy --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:30, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Chris wouldn't give a fuck if his father died. He hates him. If he hasn't empaphized with anyone else, then why the father he hates so much? He'll fake sadness, pretend he cares, but he'll still consider fucking Patti the worst loss of his life. And going easy on Chris is no help for Bob, that just means that in possibly his last days with his father he'll be all smug about his victory over the gay ads. If anything they should put up a get well message for Bob using the adspace. I'm going to mention that to the Asperpedia crew next time i'm over there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:42, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
***Agreed. Look at the Quote of the Now. He mentions that his dad is in the hospital and would be there for a few days, but he had a LOOOONG stressful day. He wants us to feel sorry for him for the day, not his dad. It would be the greatest wake up call when he does pass away.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:23, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
****Chris being selfish? that's old news. If bob dies, it's ovbiously he would become chris's new excuse " i can't do << insert anything>> because my dad died" for a while, he'll forget about him and continue to be the jerk we know. Id bob dies he will be free from the torments of chris, bob has been trough too many shit thanks to Chris, bob deserves to finally rest in peace. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:46, 2 March 2010 (UTC)
*****Actually, what would happen if Bob died? Presumably the family, not just Bob are living off his pension and social security. Even if they own the house completely, however much Barbra is bringing in plus $450 from Chris' board may not be enough to pay all their costs (bills, food, etc). --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 00:15, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
****** I wouldn't doubt that the accumulative total of both Chris' and Bab's welfare would be enough to sustain them- provided Chris stopped buying junk he never uses and stops eating at McDonald's. But it seems to me from the Twitter alone that Chris doesn't consider this emergency to be significant- it's like he skimmed across the issue as a lead-up to his retarded comic's scheduling, which in turn lead into "Rule 18" (which I can only assume is Chris' mistaken discovery of Rule 34). If he took the situation seriously at all, he'd either be pouring more emotion into it, or be absent altogether. --[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 00:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
******* Well Chris claims to have gotten his pack rat nature from his parents. So there's the possibility that if Bob goes, they'll spend themselves into nothing. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
-
• One thought- has anyone contacted [[Cole]] yet? I'm in Australia or I would myself. I know Chris doesn't gave a flying fuck and [[Snorlax]] almost certainly doesn't either. He should know I think. --Ronichu
* I think most of the family probably know by now (I would hope so anyway) but Cole has said in the past that he would celebrate when Bob "finally drops". Unless Cole is willing to make peace I say let him stay in the dark on this one, or leave it to the Chandlers to tell him. This is all too soon, I'm not ready for Bob to die yet... I just hope he dies comfortable, not at home and not surrounded by his family. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 01:40, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Yeah, when bob dies, i hope he doesn't has to see his failure son's face. [[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 02:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**Agreed on letting the Chandlers tell Cole, if for no other reason than he might not believe some random troll from the Internet. --[[User:Kettle5000|Kettle5000]] 21:05, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I really need to ask this- where was it picked up that Bob had a 10% chance of survival? If it was in the linked article, I didn't see it.--[[User:Spoonman|Spoonman]] 09:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*I am asking myself the same question; where this came from? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 11:09, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** It doesn't, I think the person who wrote that must have seen the bit which says that it has an annual mortality rate of 10% and misunderstood it. He statistically has a 90% chance of surviving another year (provided he is suffering from the normal progressive form of the disease). I've changed the article to reflect this. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 11:29, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

*If Bob does kick it (may he rest in peace if he does), what odds do you give on Chris going to a funny farm in the next 5 years? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Unless if the state of Virginia got no cheaper option. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

I try to send flowers to Bob but the FTD website ask for a phone number. Anyone got a clue what Chris's phone is? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 19:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)

He tells us himself in the opening few seconds of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2vGKa-k2Us this video]. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*How about <s>Chris' credit card number</s> the hospital we should send them to? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 19:17, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*Chris's credit card number is 2984 8579 9562 3765. That number is fake by the way in case anyone missed the joke. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:24, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*thanks for the info. I forgot about this video. I rand FTD with a nice card and a Pink Lily Bouquet. Bob will receive them tomorrow.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 20:03, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
***Assuming Snorlax doesn't eat them first. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:08, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Do we know that Bob will get them? Knowing Chris, he'll assume that they are for him and make a youtube video thanking his secret admirer for sending him flowers. I hope that you made sure to put down in bold capitals that its for Bob, and even then its only a slim chance that he'll consider the idea that they're not for him. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:14, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::*But pink is such a faggy color. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 20:53, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*There's a possibility that Chris will hijack the bouquet but let's see it that way; it's bloody pink if he does, we got material to doubt his straightness. Not only Bob's name is on the delivery slip but I also send a "Get Well" card mentioning him, the package couldn't be mistaken. FTD will deliver tomorrow. Let's see what it will bring us. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 21:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*I sent Bob a bouquet as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed hearing about his experiences and feel bad that he's stuck with a horrible wife and son. The all the man wants is a chance to discuss the world and listen to his records. At the very least, he deserves to know that there are people that like him out there. --[[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 22:35, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
::::*What color? --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:41, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Multi-colored. It's [http://www.teleflora.com/mixed-flowers/bouquet/make-a-wish-167864p.asp?s=t&promotioncode=Shed10&srccode=SH_FR&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=TFWEB164 this one.] [[User:Benjamin|Benjamin]] 01:00, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:::*If Chris suffered heart failure, I wouldn't send flowers. --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 04:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

*I kinda want Bob to die (Don't look at me like i am a monster) because I want the vicarious thrill of watching 14 Branchland Court implode without his common sense. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 20:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
** Me too. He's pretty much the only person who ever tried to stop a Sweetheart opperation--he could have stopped Julie if Max hadn't been a good liar. Nothing will set the Snorlax off unless you try to lure Chris somewhere, and even then I remind you that we still got him to defy her and go to Ohio. Her general logic for any scenario seems to be "If Chris actually gets a girl, I'll believe it when I see her, otherwise it's his own damn fault for being stupid". This is Chris's logic, minus the part after the comma. Oh, and no Bob means less money, and what's going to make you think Chris starts stealing his tugboat payment from her?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:00, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
*** If you kinda want Bob to die to make trolling Chris easier you're kinda a far more worthless human being than Chris is. [[User:Kazmeyer|Kazmeyer]] 23:41, 3 March 2010 (UTC)
**** I'll justify myself, then. I will be sad to see Bob die, and I will be happy to see what happens when he's gone.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 00:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
***Like I said, I'm no monster, I just wanna see Chris fall apart without Bob's guidance. --[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 00:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** If Chris has no-one to defend him or motivate him, it won't be a challenge to troll him anymore. I like Bob, and if I get to his age I intend to spend all day everyday swingin' with the music. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 02:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
**** Well, since Barb is too weighed down by her own rolls to do anything, if Bob dies, there will be shit hitting fans in Chris' home real soon, and I don't mean cat shit.. Either way it's going to be funny considering Chris' warped view on death. --[[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]]
**** She's not that fat, not yet anyway.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

I know everyone has realized this by now, but I don't think Chris understands the severity of it all. On his Twitter, it says that Bob came down with a ''case'' of congestive heart failure. The way he's talking about it, it seems that Chris thinks that this is something Bob can overcome like a sick bug or something. That also explains the lack of concern in his two videos - he actually thinks Bob's gonna be alright in a few days, as if some R&R would do good! He doesn't realize that this may very well be the beginning of the end!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*This is why I pity Bob Chandler right now. He's a man with decades of fair work, a patent on his name and the opportunity to be called the veteran of the most intense war the world never saw. Only for this, he will be a better man than myself. Here's the sad part. On the Internets, he will be remembered as the "Joseph" of the "Fail Messiah". The very fact that Chris ignore him in what we might call his last hours on Earth is shocking to me. He really don't deserve this. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:43, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*Point. Bob's death may come as a total and complete surprise to Chris.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 05:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
:*How do we even know Barb would let him know all the details? Wouldn't she consider keeping Chris ignorant to be a small mercy? --[[User:LeninandMcCarthy|LeninandMcCarthy]] 05:56, 4 March 2010 (UTC)

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2010-02-27T04:58:03Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth call between Chris and Alec, which took place 25th February 2010.

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in issue 10, given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and Sonichu Revolution comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything O.K. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your shitty comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "Sandy", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[ego]].

Chris-chan's Love Day is brought up. Chris denies ripping off ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND he says that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right." When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a dumb ass cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question like a drunken retard ([[Alcohol|how fitting]]).

Chris also admits he likes it when people kiss his ass, which has been [[Ego|kind of obvious]] for a long time. Chris then proves he knows nothing of Christianity ([[Religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits he believes Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not O.K. to [[parody]] a parody (it's as retarded as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]].

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence.

==Video==

===Transcript===
 '''Alec''': Hey Chris, it's Alec.

 '''Chris''': Oh. Hi, Alec.I was not...

 '''Alec''': Hey, Happy birthday!

 '''Chris''': [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah.

 '''Chris''': So, thank you.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

 '''Chris''': My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

 '''Chris''': I spent it with my family. Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set-, in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

 '''Alec''': Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah.

 '''Chris''': Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

 '''Alec''': Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

 '''Chris''': [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

 '''Alec''': But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

 '''Chris''': [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

 '''Alec''': Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

 '''Chris''': [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

 '''Alec''': Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

 '''Chris''': [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

 '''Alec''': [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

 '''Chris''': No, I did, I did...-

 '''Alec''': [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously belive that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

 '''Chris''': Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

 '''Alec''': Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.'']

 '''Alec''': You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!" 

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

 '''Alec''': Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

 '''Chris''': And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

 '''Alec''': Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

 '''Chris''': Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

 '''Alec''': No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

 '''Chris''': One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like... 

 '''Alec''': [''shouting over Chris''] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

 '''Chris''': Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

 '''Alec''': HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

 '''Chris''': Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh no. You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla. 

 '''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

 '''Alec''': I'm sorry, what was that?

 '''Chris''': And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

 '''Alec''': NOT YOUR CHARACTER. Not, no, Simonla was not your character. She was Evan's.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

 '''Alec''': "Yeah, but anyway"?

 '''Chris''': With all the, uh...

 '''Alec''': You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

 '''Alec''': You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

 '''Chris''': I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

 '''Alec''': What, what abuse did you get from him?

 '''Chris''': Verbal, verbal abuse and...

 '''Alec''': Like how?

 '''Chris''': In the Mailbag.

 '''Alec''': He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

 '''Chris''': And then threatening me with, sick his lawyers on me...

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

 '''Chris''': Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

 '''Chris''': Hm. Actually...

 '''Alec''': Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

 '''Chris''': I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

 '''Alec''': Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

 '''Chris''': Okay.

 '''Alec''': Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is is Sandy, by the way? Sandy, like Simonla's daughter?

 '''Chris''': Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

 '''Alec''': How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

 '''Chris''': Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

 '''Alec''': She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

 '''Chris''': Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which by corollary makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

 '''Alec''': You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

 '''Chris''': Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

 '''Alec''': She originates from Simonla.

 '''Chris''': She actually, she actually was born as a rosee...

 '''Alec''': From Simonla.

 '''Chris''': [''sigh, long pause'']

 '''Alec''': You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

 '''Chris''': Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

 '''Alec''': Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

 '''Chris''': Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

 '''Alec''': Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

 '''Chris''': No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that... 

 '''Alec''': You just said that... 

 '''Chris''': She's going through heavy training.

 '''Alec''': Why? So she's child labor?

 '''Chris''': No, not child labor.

 '''Alec''': Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

 '''Chris''': The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

 '''Alec''': But you killed Simonla.

 '''Chris''': Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

 '''Alec''': That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

 '''Alec''': Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

 '''Chris''': [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

 '''Alec''': Oh! Really.

 '''Chris''': Without their consent.

 '''Alec''': Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else. 

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

 '''Alec''': So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

 '''Chris''': That is not the point I am trying to make.

 '''Alec''': Well, then, why do you...

 '''Chris''': That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

 '''Alec''': When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

 '''Chris''': Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

 '''Alec''': Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

 '''Chris''': Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

 '''Alec''': I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

 '''Chris''': Well, I'm just saying, that was...

 '''Alec''': If I remember right...

 '''Chris''': ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

 '''Alec''': Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August of 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

 '''Chris''': Mm-kay. Hm.

 '''Alec''': Okay? Okay what?

 '''Chris''': Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

 '''Alec''': You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

 '''Chris''': Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

 '''Alec''': You still think that you're better than everyone else.

 '''Chris''': And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

 '''Alec''': Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

 '''Chris''': No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

 '''Alec''': So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

 '''Chris''': No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

 '''Chris''': But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

 '''Alec''': You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

 '''Chris''': Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

 '''Alec''': You have no response, do you?

 '''Chris''': I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes my mind's a little slow.

 '''Alec''': You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh'']

 '''Alec''': I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

 '''Chris''': I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

 '''Alec''': Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your Christian Love Day video?

 '''Chris''': Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

 '''Alec''': What stand?

 '''Chris''': That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

 '''Alec''': You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

 '''Chris''': What?

 '''Alec''': You took that speech from...

 '''Chris''': I did not take...

 '''Alec''': Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

 '''Chris''': Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

 '''Alec''': So you can't even write your own speech?

 '''Chris''': I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

 '''Alec''': Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

 '''Chris''': Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. They should be equally important holidays in America.

 '''Alec''': It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

 '''Chris''': I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

 '''Alec''': You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

 '''Chris''': I'm just saying... 

 '''Alec''': Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

 '''Chris''': I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

 '''Alec''': Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

 '''Chris''': Well, it can be better.

 '''Alec''': It can be better?! It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

 '''Chris''': And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

 '''Alec''': Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16 I think?

 '''Chris''': That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

 '''Chris''': But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Messicans in America.

 '''Alec''': And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

 '''Alec''': Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

 '''Chris''': My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

 '''Alec''': It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

 '''Alec''': Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

 '''Chris''': It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

 '''Alec''': Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

 '''Chris''': Because it feels right.

 '''Alec''': What do you mean, "it feels right"?

 '''Chris''': It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

 '''Alec''': Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

 '''Chris''': Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

 '''Alec''': But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about your ego.

 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote ego.

 '''Alec''': What, what more could it be?

 '''Chris''': I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

 '''Alec''': Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I, okay well...

 '''Alec''': Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

 '''Chris''': And another thing...

 '''Alec''': What, what other thing?

 '''Chris''': What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

 '''Alec''': [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

 '''Chris''': And then brutally killing, kiling us off like you did...

 '''Alec''': You brutally killed me.

 '''Chris''': And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

 '''Alec''': Sexually ex-

 '''Chris''': Where you said all that first.

 '''Alec''': Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

 '''Chris''': Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a dildo and a sports bra as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

 '''Alec''': Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

 '''Chris''': Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

 '''Alec''': Did you like it?

 '''Chris''': It was okay.

 '''Alec''': You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': Well, they did.

 '''Chris''': Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

 '''Alec''': Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

 '''Chris''': Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

 '''Alec''': No, it was the governor.

 '''Chris''': But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

 '''Alec''': Sarah P-A-L-I-N, actually.

 '''Chris''': But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

 '''Alec''': Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

 '''Chris''': Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

 '''Alec''': Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

 '''Chris''': Oh.

 '''Alec''': I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

 '''Chris''': That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

 '''Alec''': So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

 '''Chris''': It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

 '''Alec''': It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

 '''Chris''': Well, yeah, not all the time.

 '''Alec''': Why can't you learn to deal with...

 '''Chris''': I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

 '''Alec''': What constant abuse?

 '''Chris''': And torment and slanders and cursings.

 '''Alec''': Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to hypnotize people into hating Asperchu? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you cursed me with the death threats?

 '''Chris''': And I apologized for that.

 '''Alec''': No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you claim to be a Christian, this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

 '''Chris''': Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

 '''Chris''': [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

 '''Alec''': No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

 '''Chris''': Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

 '''Alec''': Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

 '''Chris''': Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's, and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

 '''Alec''': But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

 '''Chris''': [''angry sigh'']
 '''Alec''': Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla. Admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

 '''Alec''': Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

 '''Chris''': Not, no, not, no, they actually happened.

 '''Alec''': Yes, they happened, Chris, but your responses were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

 '''Chris''': Hm. Anyway, uh, let me get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to be all, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''Robot Chicken''.

 '''Alec''': I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

 '''Chris''': Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

 '''Alec''': Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

 '''Chris''': [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

 '''Alec''': Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

 '''Chris''': It's not very good.

 '''Alec''': Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

 '''Chris''': I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

 '''Alec''': You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

 '''Chris''': I don't mind, I don't mind gore, up to a certain point.

 '''Alec''': Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] Hm.

 '''Alec''': Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

 '''Chris''': [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

 '''Alec''': Yeah?

 '''Chris''': And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

 '''Alec''': Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was meant to be a funny parody. See, I don't take myself completely, I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

 '''Alec''': So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

 '''Chris''': Not one hundred percent.

 '''Alec''': Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

 '''Alec''': Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably see that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

 '''Chris''': Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10 I will be making less appearances in the book, in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

 '''Alec''': Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

 '''Chris''': There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

 '''Alec''': Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

 '''Chris''': I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

 '''Alec''': Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

 '''Chris''': That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

 '''Alec''': You said you had like 30 pages.

 '''Chris''': Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

 '''Alec''': But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

 '''Chris''': [''sigh'']

 '''Alec''': So you went back on your word again.

 '''Chris''': [''angry''] Well, I overestimated myself!

 '''Alec''': What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to be Photoshopped.

 '''Chris''': Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

 '''Alec''': You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

 '''Chris''': Well, I had computer troubles.

 '''Alec''': Of course you had...

 '''Chris''': And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

 '''Alec''': Sonichu is your job, Chris!

 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

 '''Alec''': Well, you intend to make your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he is your job.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

 '''Alec''': Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

 '''Chris''': [''sigh'']

 '''Alec''': So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

 '''Chris''': [''massive sigh'']

 '''Alec''': Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

 '''Chris''': No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

 '''Alec''': Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

 '''Chris''': Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

 '''Alec''': What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

 '''Chris''': And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec''': I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris''': And also from...

 '''Alec''': And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, it's like putting poison into the water supply.

 '''Alec''': Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

 '''Chris''': [''mega-sigh''] 

 '''Alec''': And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

 '''Chris''': [''sigh'']

 '''Alec''': I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

 '''Chris''': [''yep, another sigh'']

 '''Alec''': You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

 '''Chris''': Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-

[''Call cuts off.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Current]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gzmndqjwz1x The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ae7T05cIJQ YouTube Version: Part 1]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2010-02-26T06:50:46Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==
Alec calls Chris, at the latter's request, to discuss the inclusion of [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] in the [[CWCipedia]] ad space. Chris, naturally, wants the pages taken down, but Alec explains the many ways in which Chris reneged on their earlier agreement concerning the removal of Asperpedia's ads. From there, the conversation spirals out into a lengthy discussion of Chris's laziness, hypocrisy, bigotry, and dishonesty, until [[stress]] finally overwhelms him and he refuses to continue.

Some of Chris's strangest psychological issues find prominent display here. For instance, his difficulty accepting the fact that his fictional characters are exactly that - fictional - leads to a bizarre passage where Alec is able to swamp him with guilt regarding the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It takes several minutes for Chris to come up with a partial admission that his characters don't actually have a life of their own.

Chris's fear of [[homos|homosexuals]] seems to remain in effect, despite his recent claims of a change of heart on the subject. While at one point Chris says he now "sees them in a more positive light," he apparently still wants to see all the homos vaccinated and turned into decent, honest straight people. Chris claims that this will save them from going to hell, but he's unable to cite any scriptural or other basis for this belief. Alec points out that Chris is unfairly stereotyping homosexuals in the same way other people might stereotype autistics, a point that was likely lost on Chris two or three minutes after Alec made it.

On more everyday topics, Chris claims to be spending some time lately cleaning up his family's [[14 Branchland Court|disaster area of a house]], although there's as yet no corroborating evidence to confirm this. Of course, he describes simple household maintenance tasks in tones most people usually reserve for the torments of the damned. He also claims to have some 30 pages of his comic in the works for publication on his birthday, February 24, but can't come up with a decent explanation for why he wouldn't upload at least some of those pages sooner and maintain a more regular update schedule.

Eventually, just as in their [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|previous phone call]], Alec's comments become ever-so-slightly pointed, which is enough to drive Chris into a full-speed retreat. He manages to muster a polite goodbye instead of simply hanging up, but he is clearly in no mood to face any more harsh reality.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8
| image = {{#ev:youtube|UxfkNdoV3fM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Maker = [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Fanartn.PNG‎]] Fan Art
| Performance Style = {{reason}} Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| Other = {{Leaked}} Leaked
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
| next = Curent
}} </center>

===Transcript===
 '''Chris''': Hello? 
 '''Alec''': Hey Chris, it's Alec. 
 '''Chris''': Hi Alec. 
 '''Alec''': So uh, [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec, but Alec wins''] I got your e-mail, uh, looks like you want to talk. What's, uh, what's up? 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, uh, just to let you know that I'm uh, that I'm in the middle of dinner right now so we'll have to make this short. But, ahh, yeah, I am a bit, uh, concerned that you have continued with the, ahh, oversized ads on the [[CWCipedia]]... I mean those- the smaller banner ads- that was that was okay. I would have accepted that- I would have accepted that on a daily basis. But, no, you had to add- you had to go and... [''Alec begins to talk over Chris''] 
 '''Alec''': Chris- 
 '''Chris''': add- 
 '''Alec''': Chris- 
 '''Chris''': a whole- 
 '''Alec''': Chris-! 
 '''Chris''': to the big- 
 '''Alec''': Chris-! 
 '''Chris''': to the big - 
 '''Alec''': CHRIS! 
 '''Chris''': page- 
 '''Alec''': CHRIS! 
 '''Chris''': Yeah? 
 '''Alec''': You asked me to call you... *right* at 9:30 and when I do, you're [[obesity|eating dinner?]] 

[''Alec sounds understandably annoyed.'']

 '''Chris''': Well, I wasn't sure, because I'm... 
 '''Alec''': What are you eating? 
 '''Chris''': I'm having some chicken. 
 '''Alec''': I- uhgh. Chris, [[Chris and his ego|if you're going to ask someone to go out of their way for you for something you should probably... actually allow them to do so and not act like you are inconvenienced when they do.]] That's just a suggestion. But I- 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I'm sorry. 
 '''Alec''': But I- well... I-I-I think [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec for this whole sentence''] maybe, if you actually want to have a serious discussion- that's why I called... but... maybe let the chicken wait until we're done with our call, how about that? Cuz' I don't like calling you only to hear that you have something else to do even though this is the exact time you told me to call. 
 '''Chris''': Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I'm sorry. 
 '''Alec''': So. So. So, why don't we have our talk, and maybe the chicken will get cold, but you can microwave it when we're done. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. So we had the understanding that we were not going to go back to the oversize ads again. 
 '''Alec''': Oh. Okay, well, I can explain that. Do you remember how I told you that if you met my requirements exactly, I would remove the ads, but if you failed to meet my requirements, the ads would get worse? Do you remember when I said that to you? 
 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Yes...I...that... 
 '''Alec''': So you failed to meet my requirements. You did meet Evan's requirements, apparently. Evan is happy with you, and I'm proud of you for doing that, because Evan is, he's satisfied that you killed Simonla. However, I am not Evan, and I had different requirements than Evan. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, okay, well, why are you not satisfied? 
 '''Alec''': Mm. Well, there's a few reasons. First and foremost, you did not state all of the things that I told you to in your apology video. Like how Sonichu cannot make money in its current form and is a doomed franchise and you will need to start over with something original. You made no mention of that. Already. Next, your last apology video was... Well, "insincere" is kind of too lenient, if I called it that. It was just, it was just insulting. I mean, you obviously felt absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Even though you swore up and down to me when I talked to you that you did. But I'm pretty sure you just wanted to finish the phone call, and you thought that you could just read things off a list and that would please me. Oh, and then you hung up on me, I think like five or six times. 
 '''Chris''': And I did, the last one I did apologize for that in the e-mail I sent you. 
 '''Alec''': Um, but you hung up on me multiple times. Chris, I think that you believe, I think you believe that if you do something wrong and then you offer a superficial apology, you believe that gives you license to just do it all over again. You know, that's not what apology is about, right? 
 '''Chris''': That is not what apologies are about. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. And the reason you hung up on me is because you were trying to avoid me. You were trying to just brush me off. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I will admit that, the last one, and I apologize for that. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. So, if you want that apology to mean anything, then in the future, including this call, and if we talk again, you are actually going to have to stick to that word and not ever again attempt to brush me off. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. 
 '''Alec''': That make sense? Now. Let's talk about those ads for a bit. If you notice, they really aren't ads for Asperpedia anymore. What I started, I started a new comic, called Sonichu Revolution. And that's actually what I'm using the adspace for. And what Sonichu Revolution is, it's actually, it's like a reboot of Sonichu, see, since you aren't uploading pages I thought I would do a nice thing for your fans and use my ad space to keep your fans happy. 
 '''Chris''': [''has been trying to interrupt''] Well, no, I am, I am doing the pages now. Listen, your comic pages, they should, they should stay on your website, your website alone. I do not want your pages on my website that only shows my pages. 
 '''Alec''': Oh, it's kinda too bad that I bought ad space on your website, when I gave you multiple opportunities to get out of me having web space, er, ad space on your website. You didn't take them. I can do what I want with my ad space. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': How many times did I, was I gracious enough to give you an extremely easy way out of all of this? 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Well, not sure. Define, define "easy." 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Um, by "easy" I mean, how many times did I lay out a very clear, very specific set of requirements that I had of you, and where I promised that if you followed those requirements, exactly, then I would remove all my ads and I would do my best to stop Evan from, you know, attempting to sue you. Evan's, you know, in the past, he's happy now, but my ads are still an issue. And you know, I asked you to be sincere about the apology, which you never were. 
 '''Chris''': Yes. Okay, well, just to let you know, okay, well, I understand for, yes, uh, you did offer me with, you did tell me very descriptively, very detailed-ly, what you wanted, a number of times. I'm gonna est-, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna estimate like about five to 10 times at this point. Because we have not talked over the phone that much. For maybe 20, or 20 minutes, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go with that. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, we've talked... Well, it's not quite that high. I think three or four times I specifically laid everything out for you. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, it's, well, okay, at this point, yeah. An overbid is a good estimate. 
 '''Alec''': Hm. Alright, I'll give you that one. So yeah, multiple times I gave you opportunities to, you know, to handle the situation and to come out scot-free. And, if I remember correctly, I did talk about how you are the luckiest person in the world, to have competition like me, who would be so generous and go out of his way to help his competition. I mean, a lot of other companies would have just blown you out of the water and not thought twice about it. But, you know, I like Sonichu, or I used to like it, back when you actually updated it, and I know that it does have some fans still and I wanted to see it continue. Because I don't want to just take over everything. I don't want to be the only artist out there. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': That's not fun. You kind of want to be the only artist in existence, I don't know why you want that. Why do you want that, anyway? Why do you not want other artists to exist? 
 '''Chris''': Um, I never said, I never said that I did not want other artists to... 
 '''Alec''': Well, you said it with your actions, if not with words directly. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, okay, well, maybe... 
 '''Alec''': I think we talked about that one time. Actions are louder than words, you know? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, okay, well, perhaps my actions were misunderstood in this case... 
 '''Alec''': Oooh, not misunderstood in the least! Oh, no, your actions are very clear. You slandered and smeared me as much as you possibly could. You put all of your effort into trashing me rather than building up your own comic. There's... If you can convince me there's some way to misunderstand that, then you know, by all means try, but as far as I could see that was a pretty clear message. It's hard to misunderstand that, it's hard to misunderstand, you know, you repeatedly hanging up on me.

[''In the background, [[Barbara]] shouts, "Who are you on the phone with?" She continues to make background noise occasionally.'']

 '''Chris''': I know, I... 
 '''Alec''': You've been out of commission for like three weeks, you haven't done shit for your fans. When are you going to come back with your comic? 
 '''Chris''': I, I am, I, I still, I am, I have been working on my comic, for your information. I am up to pages in book number 11 where I have drawn that far, and I'm about halfway colored through all those pages which I drew up. 
 '''Alec''': How many pages is that? 
 '''Chris''': That's over 30 now. 
 '''Alec''': Over 30. Really. How many days since you started that particular 30 pages. Has it been, like, what, two weeks? 15 days, around there? 
 '''Chris''': Around there. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, uh... I'm not really sure if asking this is going to be useful, but why would you partially complete 30 pages instead of, say, completing and uploading 20 pages? Or 25? 
 '''Chris''': That would hap-, that would happen to make up for lost time on on my birthday, which is this coming, which is the next Wednesday. 
 '''Alec''': I'm sorry, what about your birthday? What are you going to do with it? 
 '''Chris''': I'm going to upload all those, all those, all those pages, all the main pages in a bundle, in a bunch, on my birthday, which is next Wednesday. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, until then I think I'll just keep uploading Sonichu Revolution, because I want to please your fans, even if you don't. Chris, why, why would you... 
 '''Chris''': I gave my new, I put up a new page yesterday as well. The last page I had... 
 '''Alec''': So that... That, yep, I saw that, actually, that one page, plus I think you had two pages where you killed Simonla, so that's three pages total in like three weeks. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, anyways... 
 '''Alec''': I do two pages a day. That means I've uploaded, in the past 15 days I've uploaded 30 pages of my own. And it's... When's your birthday, like eight days from now? So I'll have another 16 pages up, so that's 46 pages... 
 '''Chris''': Well, you are, you are mistaken, we're not talking about, we're not talking about eight days, my birthday is on the 24th. Of February. 
 '''Alec''': Oh. My mistake. So six days. Well, I'll have 12 new pages by then. In addition to the 30 I've already uploaded. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. 
 '''Alec''': I'm sorry, I didn't know when your birthday was. 
 '''Chris''': Well, it's specifically stated on the, on my bio page on the CWCipedia, and in a couple other places. The 24th of February. 1982. 
 '''Alec''': Hey, Chris. Chris. When is my birthday? 
 '''Chris''': I don't know, I do not study your bio, I did not study your bio page... 
 '''Alec''': Well, Chris, Chris, it's on my bio page on the Asperpedia. Why wouldn't you know it? 
 '''Chris''': Well, I did not make an effort to study you, because... 
 '''Alec''': I mean, if I'm supposed to know your page, don't you know mine? Chris, I'm kinda hurt. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I apologize for that, and after we're done here I'll go to your bio page and learn, and learn with my mind when your birthday is. 
 '''Alec''': Nah, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it. I'd rather you work on pages than go look up info about me. Because, you know, I actually don't know your birthday because I've been working on my pages rather than, you know, looking up your bio. Um, yeah, so, I do really have to recommend that you, um, begin uploading those 30 pages immediately. Like as soon as we're done with the call or whatever. It, just, get to work on it. Stay up all night if you have to. Get those pages up. Because, here's the thing about the way fans work. If you leave your fans in the dark for a week or two weeks or a month or however long, it really doesn't matter if you're partially completing something. Because if you don't put out any product, then your fans have nothing to work with. Have you ever heard of the game [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem Forever|Duke Nukem Forever]]? 
 '''Chris''': Uh, I'm sorry, you said Duke Nukem Forever? 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. Well, you know the Duke Nukem video games? You ever played any of those? 
 '''Chris''': Uh, I have seen, I have seen samples of that game. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Well, the company that made those, they were working on a game called Duke Nukem Forever. That was going to be their next great title. And they were working on that for actually about 15 years. And they kept promising, "Oh, you know, we've got the engine built, we've got the characters designed, we've got all this built, all that's left is for us to release it." And they never released it because they kept retooling and tinkering with it. And finally the company actually went out of business. So now there won't ever be any other Duke Nukems. And if you keep doing the same thing, Sonichu is going to go out of business. Well, not permanently, because I have Sonichu Revolution, so it'll live on in some form. 
 '''Chris''': Well, yes, well, your, yes, well, still, your Rev-, your Revolutions are not the original, are not the original Sonichu pages, of which only I can draw up and tell. 
 '''Alec''': But what they are is existent. And the fans appreciate that. Your pages are nonexistent. 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': And if you stop Sonichu, then, you know, the fans are going to want something. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Okay, well, I get, well, don't worry, you will see, you will see, all those pages, and the completion of the 10th book. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Um, does this mean... 
 '''Chris''': In fact, it's a... 
 '''Alec''': I'm a little, I'm a little confused, how, what, do you remember when I told you... Well, of course you remember, I brought it up plenty of times, about how you really need to either do some sort of major reboot of Sonichu, or else just come up with a completely different comic? Because of all of the elements that you stole from other franchises? Are you still thinking about that? Because if you're going to finish book 10, then... 
 '''Chris''': I have been thinking about that, actually. 
 '''Alec''': What do you think about it? 
 '''Chris''': Some of those, some of those changes will be talked about in the clip show that's gonna be in book 11. 
 '''Alec''': Um... So, is book 11 gonna be like a transition from the current Sonichu to another one? 
 '''Chris''': Yes, yes, yes, a transitions. 
 '''Alec''': Oh. Oo-kay. Um, well, that's not really what a reboot is about. See, what you're doing, like a transition, suggests that the Sonichu that exists now is going to be, like, part of the same universe or world as whatever new Sonichu. What a reboot is, is a hard stop. You reset completely. You start over from scratch. Everything that came before is just, means nothing, it's null and void. Like, for example, the Spider-Man movies, they aren't in the same world as the comic, they were sort of a reboot. Because they told everything over from the beginning. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. I see. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. I mean, I know it's... I can sympathize with you on this. I mean, you've been working on Sonichu for 10 years now, and the thought that you have to abandon it completely and start over with something new, I understand that that's kind of a scary thought. But it is true. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. 
 '''Alec''': Have you, have you, uh... What do you think of Sonichu Revolution, by the way? Have you been reading it? I'm only like seven pages in right now, so... 
 '''Chris''': I have taken a look at it, and I did not like the way you were killing characters left and right! That's no good, it's just terrible! Don't go killing, don't go killing, don't go killing characters, that just does not, that just, that just does not, that just does not work. It's like... 
 '''Alec''': Chris... 
 '''Chris''': It's like doing Zombie X-Men, Marvel Zombies. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. I remember that. That was actually a pretty popular comic, wasn't it? 
 '''Chris''': It's actually on the PlayStation Network digital comic download, only on the PSP right now. 
 '''Alec''': Well, I've seen it in stores, though. Well, it was pretty popular, was my point. 
 '''Chris''': Anyway, that's, anyway, that's the point. That's still, like, you know, killing, you're just like killing everybody left and right. It's not... 
 '''Alec''': Chris, um, how many, how many comic books and TV shows and movies and, you know, whatever other media have you seen where characters die? Do you think they're all bad? 
 '''Chris''': Yes, well, well, yeah, they are bad, because that's just totally fake. And plus, to do it in such a gory way is just terrifying. It's like any, it's like any of the Saw movies. It's especially like, especially like the first trap in Saw VI. 
 '''Alec''': Did you like those movies? 
 '''Chris''': That was horrifying. 
 '''Alec''': Did you like those movies, Chris? The Saw movies? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I liked them, I mean I enjoyed the falling, the telling... 
 '''Alec''': [''talking over Chris''] You liked them? But there's death in it! How could you like a movie that has death in it, Chris?! Death is bad. You said death is bad. 
 '''Chris''': Well, I'm not talking about... 
 '''Alec''': Death is bad. 
 '''Chris''': I'm not saying, I mean, yeah, I'm not talking about the death part, I did not say I liked the death parts, I liked the building of the character of John Kramer. In the movies. 
 '''Alec''': But the point is, you still liked the movies overall, right? I mean, you went to see them, you'd probably see them again? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were hor-, yeah, I mean, I will admit they are horrifying, and they do frighten me, but think about, but think about, think about... 
 '''Alec''': Hence the genre, horror, if it's horrifying it's doing its job, I guess. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, but I mean, still, that's Hollywood magic, you know, that's, you know, the people, the actors in those movies are still, are still alive and well, they just... 
 '''Alec''': Oh, well, right, I forgot, because comic characters are real people and apparently I'm guilty of, of multiple homicide now? Chris, you, remember when you killed Simonla because we strong-armed you into it, because you refused to do it willingly? Are you guilty of homicide now? Because you killed Simonla? 
 '''Chris''': No, actually, that would, actually, you could blame the Voltorb that was placed by the toilet, placed by the toilet that exploded. Because the Voltorb exploded, it blew up the... 
 '''Alec''': Chris, you drew the Voltorb. You drew the Voltorb! Chris, you knew Simonla was going to die! You knew there was going to be a Voltorb there and you did nothing to stop it! You are an accessory to murder! Who cares if someone else placed it? You knew, of course you knew she was going to die because I've been telling you for weeks to kill her. 
 '''Chris''': You're, you're, well, read, yeah, well, read the pages after I put 'em, after I put 'em all up and you will see that there is, that there was, that it wasn't preventable. That there was a way that, it could not have been prevented. You will find out. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, um... Did you see my page where [[Son-Chu]] killed himself? Did you see how depressed he was? I couldn't have prevented that. Sometimes people are so depressed that you just can't reach them. And it's tragic but, you know, sometimes people commit suicide because they believe there's just no way out for them. 
 '''Chris''': I have a question for you. 
 '''Alec''': Oh? 
 '''Chris''': You said you like Sonichu. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. 
 '''Chris''': Why did you make him, why did you draw him killing himself? 
 '''Alec''': Soni- 
 '''Chris''': If you liked him you would not have done that! 
 '''Alec''': I didn't draw Sonichu killing himself. I said Son-Chu, your car, your... I don't want to say "Autobot" 'cause that's trademarked, but... 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, it's, excuse me, well, I misunderstood. Well, yeah, that was, that was wrong. I mean, that was like you're killing my vehicle, it's like you're making me have to pay, like... 
 '''Alec''': [''cutting off Chris's demented babble''] No, Chris, I didn't kill your, I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. He was depressed because he had a name that he hated, and all the other Autobots made fun of him. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, the Autobot, the Autobots do not make fun of each other for their names. 
 '''Alec''': No, they make fun of Son-Chu. Chris! Look at what he says in that page! He says that he hates his name because it's not a strong, manly Autobot name. Why would he lie? 
 '''Chris''': Well, it's only because you're, you're putting... 
 '''Alec''': He had nothing to lie about, he had nothing to lose. He was gonna kill himself. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, I did not, I'm not the one that drew, that drew my car, my Autobot, to say that. I did not. You did that, pretending to be me, in a sense. 
 '''Alec''': I wasn't pretending to be you. 
 '''Chris''': You were pretending to be... 
 '''Alec''': Chris, look up at the page. Do you see on the comic page where it says "Copyright 2010 Alec Benson Leary"? I'm pretty sure that shows that I was not pretending to be you. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, still, you have no right, you have no right in killing a character that was originally mine, and that I have never said, have never said personally, had died. When a character dies, I will let every, I will let everybody know myself. Anybody else who, who makes up, who says outside of my jurisdiction, it's just a whole bunch of bogus baloney. 
 '''Alec''': Well, maybe I can say it's a parody, and that'll make it okay, right? If Sonichu Revolution is a parody? Would that be okay? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': It would? 
 '''Chris''': I would accept that, yeah. And plus, don't make them so big. Maybe like three quarters of the current size, three quarters. 
 '''Alec''': No. Nah. Then no one can read the text. I'm not gonna make it smaller, it's kinda hard to read the text already. 
 '''Chris''': You should have those pages on your Asperpedia! People could just go over there and read them for themselves. 
 '''Alec''': Um, but the whole point of Sonichu Revolution is to make up for your lack of updates. Why would I put it on my Asperpedia? That defeats the purpose. I, I'm... 
 '''Chris''': But, but you're just... 
 '''Alec''': I'm keeping the fans there for you, Chris! 
 '''Chris''': Because you're drawing... 
 '''Alec''': You could thank me once. 
 '''Chris''': Because you're drawing those pages, not me. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, that's right, I'm drawing the pages. You're not drawing anything. Or you say you are, but we have no proof. 
 '''Chris''': I am, I, you're wrong, I have been drawing the pages, and I have been coloring them. 
 '''Alec''': But you're not uploading them. 
 '''Chris''': Because I have, because I'm too busy working on the, working on coloring after I have drawn them all up! And plus, I have real life things, like I have to go hang, like I have to hang out with my family. I have errands to run... 
 '''Alec''': [''cutting him off''] Chris! Take a guess, right, I want you to guess... 
 '''Chris''': And plus... 
 '''Alec''': Between, Chris, no, Chris! I want you to guess, between one and 10, how many hours did I spend in school yesterday? Take a guess, right now. 
 '''Chris''': How many hours you spent in school yesterday... 
 '''Alec''': Yes. 
 '''Chris''': The average of 10. 
 '''Alec''': That's right. I spent 10 hours in school yesterday. I also uploaded a page of Sonichu Revolution yesterday. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] Well, what about your job? You have your job as well. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. What about my job? I upload pages while I have a job and school. So what about my job? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, you got all your, you're spending your time there as well. 
 '''Alec''': Yes, that's correct. 
 '''Chris''': Uh, okay, well, I admit, I'm not sure really what the point I was trying to make there, I lost my train of thought. [''Yeah, we guessed that, Chris.''] 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, yeah. It's true that, yes, I spend a lot of time in school, and a lot of time at my job. And I, you know, and I have errands too. Not really for my family, I don't live with my family, but I do errands on my own. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. Well, okay, well... 
 '''Alec''': How much time... You've mentioned that several times, that you have to run errands for your family. Like, what do you have to do for them? What did you do yesterday? What... How... Like, are they having you break rocks with sledgehammers or something all day? Because you say it's like some huge, serious thing. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, they're old. I have to do chores for them. I have to do chores for them around the house. Like I had to even, I even shoveled snow to get the, to get the, to make a path for them and get the cars out. And my, and my car, it was stuck in, two front tires were stuck in their own dug grooves, and we finally, and finally got the car out of those two grooves today. 
 '''Alec''': So you've been working on that solid, non-stop, just digging your car out? I mean... I live in Minnesota, you know, we get some bad snowstorms sometimes, and my car will just get completely buried in snow. And it might take me, like, in the worst-case scenario of storms, it might take me half an hour to dig enough snow out for my car to move. We usually don't get that much snow, though. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. 
 '''Alec''': You said some chores around your house, too, like besides shoveling. What else do you have to do? 
 '''Chris''': I clean the kit-, I clean the kitchen, I do the, I vacuum, I move stuff around, I clean the bathroom as well, I do a lot of things around the house. 
 '''Alec''': You kind of sound like you're talking to someone who has not seen that video tour of your house right now. And I want to let you know that I actually have seen it, so I'm pretty sure... [''Alec is interrupted by numerous beeps, as if Chris or Alec is pressing buttons on their phone.''] Chris, can you hear me? Hello? Chris, are you pressing buttons? [''The beeping ends, a long silence follows.''] 
 '''Chris''': Hey, Alec? 
 '''Alec''': Hey, hey Chris, did we get disconnected there? 
 '''Chris''': [[Lies|Yeah, 'fraid we did.]] It happens to me, between me and my, uh, gal-pal as well, in our conversations sometimes. Reception goes bad during this time of night. 
 '''Alec''': Oh, okay. Well, uh, glad I got you back. Okay, well, we were talking about, uh, the chores you need to do, I think, in your house. So you're saying you clean your house up? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Uh, okay, um... Have you cleaned your, cleaned your room at all? 
 '''Chris''': Yes, I do clean my room. 
 '''Alec''': Mmm, how much do you clean it? 
 '''Chris''': I clean my room like once a week. 
 '''Alec''': Really. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': O-kay. So, how long does it take when you do that? Because if you do that once a week, that's just, like, maintenance, shouldn't take too long. 
 '''Chris''': It takes like two hours. 
 '''Alec''': Two hours. Okay. 
 '''Chris''': Yes. 
 '''Alec''': Um... How long does it take you to clean the rest of the house? 
 '''Chris''': It takes me, it pretty much takes me one to two hours per room. 
 '''Alec''': Hm. Okay. Like, what do you do when you clean? What specific stuff do you do? 
 '''Chris''': I move this, I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I take, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work, back-breaking! 
 '''Alec''': Back-breaking. 
 '''Chris''': Yes. My back hurts. 
 '''Alec''': I hope you don't mean... Your back hurts from cleaning? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, after extensive long time, I mean, sure. 
 '''Alec''': I thought you, I thought you were strong, Chris. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I am strong. 
 '''Alec''': Why would your back just... How strong are you? Like... Because it seems the videos... 
 '''Chris''': Believe me, I'm very strong. Believe me, I'm very strong. 
 '''Alec''': Really. Like... Uh... 
 '''Chris''': Anybody, anybody, anybody will tell you that, like, yeah, they, they just feel like they break their backbones after, after a very extensive time scrubbing the floors, getting up and down, as well. 
 '''Alec''': You should get a Swiffer. Swiffer Wet-Jet, because then you can stand while you're scrubbing the floor. I use it, it's really useful. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. 
 '''Alec''': It's quick, too. 
 '''Chris''': Well, we don't have it, we don't have that here. 
 '''Alec''': Huh. Maybe you could sell some of those video games like I was talking about. Then you could afford one. Have you thought at all about selling any more of your, your games, Chris? Because... 
 '''Chris''': No, I have no plans, I have no plans of that at the moment. 
 '''Alec''': Why would you want to hold on to video games that you don't play anymore? 
 '''Chris''': I do play them, when I feel nostalgic... 
 '''Alec''': ALL of them? Chris, you've got... How many hundreds of games do you have? And you play all of them regularly? Is that what you're telling me? 
 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Regularly, like... Yeah. Every, like, uh, I'd say, yeah, on a regular basis I do. 
 '''Alec''': Every single one. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah! 
 '''Alec''': That must take, that must take a lot of time. 
 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Is video-game-playing back-breaking too? Just out of curiosity? I wouldn't think it would be. 
 '''Chris''': Uh, no, but it's one way for me to relax after I, after I have done the work of cleaning the room. Or shoveling the snow in the yard. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, but you only clean once a week, and shoveling, that doesn't happen all the time. I know Virginia got a snowstorm recently, right, but that was kinda like a one-time thing. 
 '''Chris''': That's, well, okay, well, just to correct you, I was not talking about cleaning period once a week, we're talking about cleaning my room once a week. And, and then, we have other, then, it's like, on another day I'll clean up the kitchen, and on another day I'll clean up the living room, on another day I'll clean up the, I'll clean up my parents' bedroom... 
 '''Alec''': Chris, I've seen the video tour of your house. 
 '''Chris''': That's like, that was, that was like, that was like over, that was like over a year ago. 
 '''Alec''': Over a year ago. You really... You should film a new tour, then, actually, because people still think that your house is, you know, a mess like that. 
 '''Chris''': I'll think, well, I'll consider that. 
 '''Alec''': You really should, you know. It would be a good idea. Chris, here's, okay, here's what I don't get about you. There are so many things, like, you know, if your house is clean, you could just make a video and show people that. And if you've really been working on the pages, you could just upload them. And if, you know, if you wanted to prove to people that you have Nintendo's permission to use Pikachu, shit like that, you could just show them the letter that Nintendo sent you, that gives you permission. Why do you, why do you take the hard way through everything? Why do you want to keep receiving, you know, demands and questions about this and that subject when one little action on your part could just stop all of it? 
 '''Chris''': Because for me it's not all that easy. 
 '''Alec''': What's not easy about it? Like, okay, the Nintendo... 
 '''Chris''': Because, I'll, I'll just, also my father's still very angry at me for doing the video touring the house over a year ago. And he's making me all mad, he's very angry... 
 '''Alec''': Why, why, why was he angry about it? Just refresh my memory. 
 '''Chris''': It's like an invasion of privacy? 
 '''Alec''': How is it an invasion? You live there, I mean, it's your house, if you choose to upload a video, that's not an invasion of privacy. If you [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|try to videotape people without their consent]], that would be an invasion of privacy. But I don't think your parents were in that video. 
 '''Chris''': You don't, you don't, you don't understand, I, and I forget all of the details my father said, but he's still very angry at me for doing, for having done that. 
 '''Alec''': Alright, well, I guess if you say he's angry then okay, that's that, but... Um, what about, um... Well, like the Nintendo thing. Couldn't you... Did Nintendo, like, write you a letter saying, you know, yes, go ahead and use Pikachu? Couldn't you just scan that and show that to people? 'Cause everybody... 
 '''Chris''': I misplaced the letter. 
 '''Alec''': You mis-, you misplaced it? 
 '''Chris''': I misplaced the letter. Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': That seems like a really important thing, how could you misplace that? And if you clean your house so regularly, I mean, it seems like you would find things that you had lost regularly. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. It takes, yeah, moving, moving stuff, if I had, I had, I regularly look at stuff, and that, and it got misplaced that way. 
 '''Alec''': I'm sure you could just actually call up Nintendo, because... I mean, that would be... You know, the legal department of a company keeps records of everything they do. They would be happy to just fax you or send you another copy of the letter. 
 '''Chris''': I'll keep that in mind. 
 '''Alec''': Businesses lose papers sometimes, and you know, that's why there's redundancy, that's why. And not only your fans, you know, but if you showed that letter publicly, then I couldn't demand that you admit Sonichu's a doomed franchise, now, could I? You wouldn't, you wouldn't even have to do the reboot? I mean, think about it. If either you, you know, reboot your entire comic that you've been working on for 10 years, that's one choice, or your other choice is, you just call up Nintendo and ask them to send another letter, and show it to everyone. 
 '''Chris''': Alright. 
 '''Alec''': Destroy 10 years of personal hard labor, or show a letter. 
 '''Chris''': Alright, well, I will think, I will, I will look, I will look into that later. 
 '''Alec''': Um, okay. Um, this is reminding me of... In your recent, where you started updating the Mailbags again, um... Let me take a look at a Mailbag, because I don't remember the exact phrase, but... You responded with kind of a stock phrase to a lot of letters. Let's see here. Um, where is it. Ah! "Your letter has been read fully and your thoughts have been in-pyoo-ted..." I guess inputted. "And accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." Chris, you spend even less time responding to these e-mails than you do normally. What's up with that? 
 '''Chris''': Okay, for your information I actually read, I actually read and re-read each letter before I make a final response. 
 '''Alec''': But your final response is, is not thought out at all. See, this is kind of an interesting parallel to your comic work, because you say, you say that you... 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, well, there are points where, there are points, there are points where I don't... 
 '''Alec''': [''trying to interrupt''] Chris, Chris, Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS! Let me talk, and don't interrupt, alright? I will let you speak after I finish this sentence. This is how it goes. One person speaks, the other person responds, the first person is... Okay. Um, you say that you spend a lot of time "reading and re-reading" and really considering the letters, but when it comes time for the final step, which is, you know, the response, you don't really put any effort into that. And that's an interesting parallel to your comics, because you say you spend a lot of time drawing and coloring and, you know, preparing your pages, but that final step, uploading them, you don't put any effort into that. So it seems... It kind of sounds like you go 90 percent of the way, but you don't actually finish that crucial last 10 percent. And just to let you know, people are mad about this stock response that you made. 
 '''Chris''': Well, when it comes to the Mailbag, it's just that, you know, even after re-reading it, I still cannot, I still could not come up with an appropriate response. So I had to go with a neutral response. 
 '''Alec''': Why... What do you mean, you can't come up with a... There's a lot of different subjects to these letters, and you give the same neutral response to every one. Are you telling me that all of these subjects, you really can think of absolutely nothing? 
 '''Chris''': There are a few subjects on which I come up blank! Yes. I'll admit that. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Um... Like... Um, someone wrote you a letter about your comments about homosexuals being bigoted and offensive, and you gave the stock response to that. Um, that seems like a huge Achilles' heel with you, is if people mention the word "homosexual." Your mind goes blank. 
 '''Chris''': Well, yeah, of course, I could not think of an appropriate response to that letter. 
 '''Alec''': "Your comments..." I'm reading the letter right now. "Your comments on homosexuals are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions. You want a vaccine for them, just because they tick you off..." Um, the last two parts, those are actually very clear questions, as far as I can see. Like, if someone asked me those questions... If someone asked me, "Do you want homosexuals to die in explosions?" I would tell them, "No." If someone asked me, "Do you want a vaccine for them just because they tick you off?" I would explain, "No, homosexuals don't actually tick me off, and I would never want to vaccinate them." I just came up with that right now. That would be my response if such a question was asked of me. And that's not even that long of a response. You don't need a page worth of response. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, plus, plus I perceived that, because I perceived those statements as insults, and... 
 '''Alec''': Oh, so we're back to everything is an attack on you, this... Remember when you thought that my ads were an attack on you? So now someone... So, so you thought my ads were an attack on you, now this homosexual thing, um, you've made plenty of offensive comments about homosexuals, which they could, and plenty have interpreted as attacks by you. And so when someone asks you about them, how is that an attack on you? 
 '''Chris''': They said when I, it was an e-mail, and that's in that where you just read about it, they called me bigoted. 
 '''Alec''': That's because you are bigoted. You want... 
 '''Chris''': I am not bigoted. 
 '''Alec''': You hate homosexuals. How many, how many times... 
 '''Chris''': I actually said that, actually I have, actually, thanks to Jack Thaddeus I recently, I have, I actually see them in a more positive light! It was, I think it was... 
 '''Alec''': Is that the same Jack Thaddeus that is an evil villain, that does underhanded deals for ad space? 
 '''Chris''': What? 
 '''Alec''': Well, you kinda flip-flop a lot. No, forget what I said. Um... 
 '''Chris''': Uh, well, well, for your information, though, specifically, Jack Thaddeus has told me about, uh, homosetts-, about homosexuals from his point of view and how that they would never, they would never make any actions towards me because I'm not even try-, I'm not even that attractive to him. 
 '''Alec''': You know, Chris... 
 '''Chris''': Attract him. 'Cause he's a homosettsual. 
 '''Alec''': Uhh-huh. You know, um, I've actually been hit on, I've been hit on by homosexuals, once in a while. It happens to me in my life. 
 '''Chris''': Oo-kay. 
 '''Alec''': It's, I never got ticked off by it, I never saw it as offensive. I mean, I'm, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't really be interested, but if, if someone, man or woman, thinks I'm attractive, then, you know, well, it's flattering. Even if I'm not interested. Why would you think it's an attack if a gay person finds you attractive? I take it as a compliment that people think I'm attractive. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. Well, it's, yeah, well, still, I mean, if I was, well, okay, well, if a homosexual came up to me and flirted with me like that, I wouldn't, uh, no, no, I would let them know that, no... 
 '''Alec''': That you're not interested? 
 '''Chris''': And, yeah, I cannot accept your, I cannot accept that because I'm not interested, I am straight, nnn... 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, that's... 
 '''Chris''': And then leave it at that. 
 '''Alec''': That sounds, yeah, that sounds like a good... 
 '''Chris''': And then, then, if the, and then if the guy continued to, continue on like that after the warning, then I would get really mad. 
 '''Alec''': Well, that's understandable. And you know what? That happens, not just with gay people. I mean, straight people, plenty of straight people have trouble getting a hint. I mean, you know, guys, all the time, there are guys who, you know, hit on a girl, and she says, "No, thank you, I'm not interested", and they just keep pressing the point. [[Megan|Overstepping their boundaries. Trying to hold their hands, things like that.]] That is... You know, in a situation like that, it's perfectly acceptable to get offended if they don't respect, er, if they don't respect your, um, your decline. Your negative response. You see? Um, but I... When, when did you talk to Jack about this, this homosexual thing? When did you have that conversation? 
 '''Chris''': It was about, it was like over a, it was like over a week ago. 
 '''Alec''': When did you answer Mailbag 52? Pretty sure it was less than a week ago, wasn't it? Because if your issues with homosexuals are resolved now, then why couldn't you offer a simple response to that? Okay, here's what you could have said. Um... Well, just to be clear, do you still want a vaccine for homosexuals? 
 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] Uh, I'm sorry, I did not understand, I do not understand that. Could you repeat that please? 
 '''Alec''': [''slowly this time''] Do you want to create a vaccine to eliminate homosexuality? 
 '''Chris''': [''another pause''] Hmm... 
 '''Alec''': Do you understand that? 
 '''Chris''': Honestly... Yeah, okay, yeah, I understood that. So yeah, you're asking me that right now. Or are you, or are you just, I mean, uh, okay. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, I am asking you right now. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. [''pause''] In an attempt to make a better world, a better world, I would support it. I would support that. 
 '''Alec''': Oooo-kay, so, when you said that you don't have problems with gays anymore, that wasn't actually true. Chris, well, like I said, I'm not gay, but I have a number of gay friends, um, a few family members that are gay, and it's part of who they are. That's part of their identity. Why would you want to take that away from them? What, what about removing homosexuality would make the world a better place? [''exasperated sigh''] It shouldn't be that hard, Chris, because you already, um, established a predicate that "no gays equals the world is a better place." So, having said that, that must mean that you do have an idea of how the two things are connected. 
 '''Chris''': Uh... Well, what two things? 
 '''Alec''': Chris, do you... Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Chris, you said, you said "no gays equals the world is a better place." That, "no gays" is point one. That connects to "world is better," point two. How do those connect? What is... Yeah. 
 '''Chris''': Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, yeah, okay, now I get it, I mean, it's just that, you know, uh, [[Lies|I'm getting an incoming call right now]], and, uh, taking it will interrupt this conversation... 
 '''Alec''': Well, you should probably ignore it. Yeah. Um, so please... 
 '''Chris''': It's like, hard to, though, it cancels, it cancels your, it cancels your vocal input out at that point when the... 
 '''Alec''': Well, did you... Yeah. Did you hear my point, though? Please explain how no gays equals world's better. 
 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] You know, okay, well, I'm not necessarily saying... I'm not saying that as in reference to them as people. I'm saying that in reference, and like... 
 '''Alec''': Well, removing, removing homosexuality equals a world better. Explain that. 
 '''Chris''': Because there will be less risk of those people going to hell. 
 '''Alec''': Hell? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. When they die. 
 '''Alec''': What do you... Oh, you mean instead of heaven? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing? 
 '''Chris''': It's implied within parts of the Bible. 
 '''Alec''': Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I have read the Bible, but... 
 '''Alec''': You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic. 
 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] So? 
 '''Alec''': How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now. 
 '''Alec''': So you're going to hell, right? 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] Well, I'm making, I'm making atones for that. 
 '''Alec''': Uhhhh...are you? Really? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Well, you... I asked you to give Mao a Forgiveness Blessing, that was the most lackluster one I've ever seen you do. Do you believe that black magic, uh, works, Chris? 
 '''Chris''': There's a po-, there's a chance that it can, but... 
 '''Alec''': Um, not if you're Christian. Because the Christian God says that all magic and supernatural stuff that doesn't come from God is false. 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] Hm. I, I have no comment to that. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, um... Let's go back to the gay thing, because, you know, we've established that you don't really know a whole lot about the religion you claim to believe in. 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': So I would, I would, um, when you're in the absence of important information like that, I would think, just go with what you know. Go with what you see. And by that I mean, you know, you've never been attacked by a homosexual, they've never done anything evil to you. 
 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Actually, yes, I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk. 
 '''Alec''': What did he say to you? 
 '''Chris''': I don't 'member, I don't remember what he said to me, but they were offensive. 
 '''Alec''': Um, so... Okay, well, there are bad gay people, just like there are bad straight people. Um... So, one gay person did something bad to you that you don't really remember, therefore all gay people are going to hell? Is that the logic you're doing there? 
 '''Chris''': Uhh, more or less. 
 '''Alec''': How many... Okay, so, I should condemn all straight people because you've been horrible to me. You've said a lot of bad things to me, you've threatened me. Maybe, or, not just straight, maybe I should condemn autistic people, because you identify with autism a lot and you've been a very bad person in most of our dealings. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': Are all autistic people, um, really selfish and demanding and... 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] No. Not all of them are. 
 '''Alec''': But all homosexuals are bad? Because you had one bad experience? That's a double standard. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I, okay, well, okay, well, they're all not. [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Well. You know, I'll wait to see if you really stick to that belief or not, I guess. I mean, I guess it's good that you're saying it now, but... Why do you sigh so much? 
 '''Chris''': Well, I'm a little tired right now. I had to, I actually cleaned more, I cleaned the kitchen again today. 
 '''Alec''': Don't you usually stay up to like 4:00 A.M. or something, you said? This is kinda like the middle of the day for you, isn't it? 
 '''Chris''': No, this is not the middle of the day for me, this is the middle of the night for me. 
 '''Alec''': But... Okay, you said you sleep until like noon, right? And then you stay up 'til like three or four at night. That's kind of a, that's a really weird schedule, by the way. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, but actually, late-, actually I am, I'm mostly going to bed before midnight and I get up at like 9:00 A.M. 
 '''Alec''': Oh. Well. I actually go to bed, like, around 11, so I'm closer to my bedtime than you are to yours, but I feel fine. We all get tired, but... 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. 
 '''Chris''': Anyway... 
 '''Alec''': Um, what do you think of... Let's see here... 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': [''long pause''] Um, oh, here's another good question. When someone asked you about the Mailbag that you fabricated, and you gave them that stock response again. I just, I really want to see you actually... My, my main goal right now is I want to see you put real effort into your Mailbags. 
 '''Chris''': I will... I put as much effort as I could, but it's, you know, sometimes I do come up blank, and that cannot be helped. 
 '''Alec''': Chris, you're... I know you've said plenty of times, you're a pretty smart guy, right? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, but sometimes I'm quick, sometimes I'm slow. 
 '''Alec''': Why? 
 '''Chris''': It just happens! I don't know why. It's my head. I'm not a psychiatrist. A psychologist. 
 '''Alec''': You don't have to be a... You... You remember that Mike Jackson memorial e-mail you got here? You used the copy-and-paste response on that too. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] Yeah, well, I didn't know who that was, I didn't realize that that was the, uh, that was a guy that, that went out, and that moved out when their, the prostitute did. Lose him. And I apologize... 
 '''Alec''': I thought that you, I thought that you said that you spent a lot of time reading and carefully re-reading these e-mails. How do you not know the basics of what it's about? 
 '''Chris''': Well, I miss a detail or two sometimes, it happens to a lot! 
 '''Alec''': You missed all the detail, Chris! You missed all the detail. 
 '''Chris''': I mean, I thought they were talking about Michael Jackson, the pop star. 
 '''Alec''': Maybe if you'd read the e-mail you would've, you know, seen that that wasn't the case? Did you even look at that memorial? Chris, do you... 
 '''Chris''': I can say I have not looked... I did not... 
 '''Alec''': Chris, why do you not put effort into anything? 
 '''Chris''': [''sudden anger''] I do put effort in every-, in everything! 
 '''Alec''': Everything?! No! I told you that your website was going to get taken down because of a lawsuit over a stolen character, and you did nothing. I tell you you gotta upload pages and you do nothing. I tell you you gotta respond... 
 '''Chris''': I am, I am working on the pages... 
 '''Alec''': But you don't upload them! 
 '''Chris''': Yes I will, yes I do, and I will! 
 '''Alec''': No, "will" is different from "do." "Will" is the future tense, and it hasn't happened yet. 
 '''Chris''': [''angry sigh''] I'm getting tired, I'm getting tired of this. You're raising your voice at me, I'm not, and I'm not, I don't appreciate it. 
 '''Alec''': Well, I... I think I kind of, I'm just trying to enunciate a point, I'm trying to get you to respond. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Chris, um... A person raising their voice, that really is enough to just, you know, completely discombobulate you? Besides, you yelled at me first. 
 '''Chris''': No, you raised your voice at me first. 
 '''Alec''': No. No. I asked you, "Chris, why do you not care about anything? And you screamed, "I DO CARE!" 
 '''Chris''': You're being, you're being, you're being ridiculing to me. 
 '''Alec''': Uh, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Chris, I want to, I want to understand why it is okay for you to do so many things to other people that make you mad when they do them back to you. Please, I'm asking you a simple question. Please explain this to me. Why is it that any level, any tiny level of stress or inconvenience, and you immediately will fall back on, you know, you're being attacked, or you're being, you know, your world is... 
 '''Chris''': It just happens, espec-, it just happens, especially when I'm tired. 
 '''Alec''': No. That's not an excuse. That is not an excuse. That's an excuse that a child uses. Children complain that they have to do a little bit of hard, you know, work, or deal with unpleasant situations. Honestly? I have been very polite with you, Chris. I don't swear at you, except, you know, on a few occasions where you really piss me off, but for the most part I don't. I don't yell at you, I raise my voice in response to you raising your voice. I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to talk to you like an adult. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, well, I'm just tired right now. 
 '''Alec''': [''snorts''] 
 '''Chris''': And you know, considering your bed at 11:00, uh, you probably want to finish this up, want to wrap this up as well. So I... 
 '''Alec''': No, I'm doing good. 
 '''Chris''': Let's just that, let's just agree that, uh, I will be uploading the pages, and uh, what you got, perhaps, perhaps after book 10 is completed, uh, we could, uh, actually, you know what... 
 '''Alec''': Well, you know what? If you want to... 
 '''Chris''': Don't worry about the ads, don't worry about that, uh, ad space at this point. I'll just agree to that, but, uh, but, yeah, but you know... 
 '''Alec''': [''talking over Chris's babble''] Please, Stop, Running, Away from me, Chris. 
 '''Chris''': What? 
 '''Alec''': Please stop running away from me. 
 '''Chris''': I'm not running away from you, I'm right here. 
 '''Alec''': [''snort''] I know you're not literally running away, but you're trying to end the conversation because I'm making you feel bad. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': And it's not even because I'm attacking or insulting you, I'm just presenting, you know, a few things that are very minorly unpleasant. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. Okay, well, with that, uh, sometimes, there are things that, yeah, we don't, we generally, we would not prefer, we would prefer the opposite of unpleasant. 
 '''Alec''': You seem to prefer the opposite of unpleasant literally all the time. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Any little bit of stress and you run for the hills. You avoid anything unpleasant, even, even in cases where dealing with a small problem now will avert a very big problem later. You always choose the hard way. You choose to deal with the big problem that you could have avoided. Bad news is gonna happen, Chris, life is not all fun and games. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I'm sure, well, I'm sure that that's happened to you and you actually had to do that as well. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, but then I turned 10 and I started learning to get over it. 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Man the fuck up, Chris. Pardon my language, but... 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, I get, I get, and I said that. 
 '''Alec''': You're gonna have to show that with your actions, Chris. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. And I will. 
 '''Alec''': Do you believe that we, um, could ever be friends, Chris? 
 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Maybe. 
 '''Alec''': Maybe? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, you gotta start listening to people that are trying to help you. 
 '''Chris''': I am open to, I am open to opinions and thoughts when they are presented in a non-condescending, uh, appro-, acceptable tone, or, or whatever. 
 '''Alec''': That's what you always say, but you never act on them. I'm showing you things you haven't done, and you still don't do them. Because I've done this with you several times. 
 '''Chris''': Hm. Yeah. I will, listen, I gotta go, I'm really, seriously, I'm feeling really sleepy right now. 
 '''Alec''': Alright, well, have a good night. Maybe I'll talk to you later. 
 '''Chris''': Alright. Take care. Bye-bye. 

[''Call concludes.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Chris and Alec Call 9]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?2dmiegjiyzd The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxfkNdoV3fM Youtube version: part 1]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary calls

2010-02-19T11:17:18Z

LeninandMcCarthy: /* Call 8 */

The '''Alec Benson Leary calls''' were a series of calls between Alec Benson Leary, the TRUE and HONEST creator of [[Asperchu]], and [[Chris]] which took place in late [[January 2010|January]] and early [[February 2010]].

These conversations provide valuable background insight into the battle over Asperchu. Chris is forced to confront someone who, in a few important ways, is not unlike him. Just as Chris swiped Nintendo and Sega's characters to provide the building blocks of his comic, so did Alec (at least in Chris's eyes) use Chris's characters as the foundation of his stories, offering the same kind of excuses as Chris in the bargain. Likewise, Chris is confronted with the fact that he stole and abused [[Evan]]'s character [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]], just as [[trolls]] have abused many of Chris's own characters, like [[Rosechu]]. He is also shown that, in the same way that those trolls have used the internet to mock, slander, and character-assassinate Chris himself, he has spread lies and slander about Alec in his comics and on the [[CWCipedia]].

For some people, this would be an important opportunity for sober reflection. Chris, however, doesn't have the wiring for that. In the earlier conversations, he tends to be combative, seemingly believing that he can either mock or debate Alec into submission. Later, as Alec proves unwilling to tolerate Chris's bullshit — and the operators of the [[Asperpedia]] prove unwilling to take down their offensive ads from the CWCipedia — Chris becomes less and less engaged in their conversations, mechanically responding to Alec by rote.

Altogether, the calls show the amazing extent of Chris's inflexible belief that he is always right. (Faced with an uncomplicated set of requirements, he fails at the simple task of delivering a sincere apology on no less [[29 January 2010|than]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|three]] [[5 February 2010|occasions]].) It's interesting to consider what Chris thought the ultimate outcome of the dispute would be. He never seems to realize, despite many clear warnings, that he has no real control over the CWCipedia, and that his refusal to cooperate with Alec and Evan could result in its [[9_February_2010|destruction]].

There are also several parallels between these calls and the [[Father Call|conversation between Chris and Matt Devoria]]. Discussions about what the word [[naïve]] truly means, Chris's inability to be an adult, and Chris's unwillingness to put honest effort into something he supposedly really cares about (in this case, his comic) prove that despite some [[11052009_Kacey,_I_Love_You,_and_I_Need_You|emotional]] [[CWC_is_sad|videos]] from that debacle, Chris didn't learn a single thing from his earlier experience.

==Call 1==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1}}
Alec calls Chris to talk about the ads Mao has been putting on the [[CWCipedia]], and to talk about the threatening videos Chris has been putting on [[YouTube]]. The two try to clear the air and start off making some progress, but they soon fall into some stumbling blocks about the usage of their respective characters. Alec keeps showing Chris that Chris is being two-faced about said usage, and pointing out that Chris is treating Alec in much the same way trolls treat Chris. Chris gets agitated and tries to change the subject several times, but each subject they move to further points out Chris's hypocrisy. Eventually a frustrated Chris says his phone's battery is running low and hastily disconnects.

==Call 2==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2}}
After not answering the phone when he said he'd be available, a surprised Chris gets another call from Alec later in the day. Once again they discuss the ads on Chris's site, and Chris laments that his fans actually [[Mailbag|ask questions]] instead of [[Chris and ego|e-fellating him]]. Chris says he thinks it's terrible that Alec emphasizes [[Asperchu]]'s condition by having "asper" in his name, and suggests Asperchu wouldn't want people to know about it, even though Chris has spent his entire life mentioning his [[autism]] at every opportunity and using it as an excuse for his failures. Chris admits that he thinks his [[Sonichu|cartoon characters]], their thoughts and feelings, and the [[Chris_and_reality|world they inhabit are completely real, just like Toontown coexists with reality in the film "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"]] and suggests Alec is naïve for thinking otherwise. Alec then hammers Chris on his poor work ethic and lack of effort, and they have a discussion about hand-drawn comics versus computer-manipulated ones in which Alec argues that Chris shouldn't put down the digital manipulation in "Asperchu" since Chris uses Photoshop to add text to [[Sonichu_(comic)|"Sonichu."]] They also discuss [[Evan]] possibly suing Chris over [[Simonchu]] until Chris conveniently gets [[stress|tired]].

==Call 3==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3}}
When Alec calls this time, Chris immediately tries to weasel out of speaking to him by claiming he's expecting a call. Alec takes Chris to task for [[29_January_2010|not putting out a satisfactory apology video]], for not giving in to Evan's demands regarding Simonchu and Simonla, and for calling Alec naïve and using the CWCipedia to slander him. Chris continues to whine that his fanmail challenges him, and he and Alec resume talking about the usage of their characters. Alec then tries to give Chris more advice about Chris's work ethic, but Chris makes more lame excuses, and quickly ends the conversation to wait for the aforementioned (and likely non-existant) phone call.

==Call 4==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4}}
The audio for this call starts in the middle of the conversation, but it's clear that the normally diplomatic and well-mannered Alec is growing increasingly weary of Chris's shit. Alec wants Chris to make a better apology video in return for removing the ads from CWCipedia. Alec lists the conditions of the apology, and Chris tries to negotiate items that are non-negotiable. As Chris doesn't ever feel he's wrong about anything, Alec has to hand-hold Chris through the process of figuring out for what he should be apologizing. Chris also tries to go back on their agreements for the usage of their characters and wanting Alec to remove his version of the Chaotic Combo, though it was previously established that Alec's version is completely different from Chris's. Chris says that he'll have the new apology uploaded to YouTube later that night.

==Call 5==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5}}
Alec is once again unsatisfied with [[Apologies_to_Alec_and_Evan|Chris's apology]], which leaves out several items Alec mandated. Alec tells Chris he's tired of Chris's bullying and now understands how right Mao has been in giving Chris a hard time. After deftly pointing out how Chris is nothing but a troll, Chris steps away from the phone and pretends to be [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] calling Chris to take care of their [[Chandler cats|cat]] and then comes back to the phone to tell a furious Alec that he has to leave.

==Call 6==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6}}
Alec goes through an even more deliberate process to step Chris through what's necessary to get the CWCipedia ads removed. Chris spends much of the call blowing Alec off and very strongly suggests that he's not going to budge on certain demands. For instance, he calls the demand to remove Simonchu from his comic "debatable" and at one point says he will not kill Simonla off, despite it being made clear that he must do these things to get the ads removed. There's a brief discussion where Chris says he didn't mean to [[Sonichu_10#Episode_21:_Christian_Chandler_in_Director_Amenities|insinuate that Alec kept women in his basement in cages to rape them]], only that he was keeping them like pets. Scantilly-clad abused pets. They discuss Chris's misunderstanding of words (such as "naïve") and figures of speech (Chris says if someone exclaimed figuratively, "just shoot me," he wouldn't ''necessarily'' shoot them). They talk further about Chris's update schedule, or lack thereof, and how easy it is for Chris's Sonichu Empire to get derailed. Chris tries to rationalize stealing the intellectual properties of others while complaining about Alec stealing from him. Chris firmly believes he will not be sued by Hasbro, Nintendo, or Sega if he tries to make money off Sonichu, and points to him not yet being sued as proof. Alec implores Chris to come up with something original before he gets sued, but his words surprisingly fall on deaf ears. Alec explains that he's ultimately trying to help Chris and it's very frustrating that he doesn't seem to care, and warns Chris that while he's been more than forgiving thus far, he has essentially run out of chances.

==Call 7==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7}}
At this point, Evan has frozen the CWCipedia due to Chris's stubborness regarding Simonla and Simonchu. Despite the unmistakable clarity of Alec's requests in the previous call, Chris still delivers [[5_February_2010|an unsatisfactory apology]] leaving many items out. Chris complains that his computer has not been running right and now he can't get into CWCipedia to make updates or right the wrongs he never intended to right. Alec accuses Chris of not caring about Sonichu at all, citing his handling of the issue and inability to maintain a working computer. As he did with [[Kacey]] during the [[Father Call]] when he was accused of not caring about her and being unwilling to do right by her, Chris insists that's not true though he provides no evidence to counter the claims. When Alec shows Chris that he's putting far more effort into video games, sleeping, and attacking Alec than he does into his comic, Chris hangs up on him.

==Call 8==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8}}
After being summoned for yet another call to discuss the presence of Sonichu Revolution on CWCikipedia, Alec complains about Chris's failure to upload his comics and calls him out on his hypocrisy.

==Youtube==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNQNdjFES7o The first call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGB99JTZJes The second call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XaH3RRyXZ0 The third call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pBOGTVDYo The fourth call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043M89cXAlU The fifth call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBPdXXFnvzU The sixth call on YouTube]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y80N40s3JmA The seventh call on YouTube]

{{stub}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2010-02-19T09:33:04Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2010-02-19T09:26:37Z

LeninandMcCarthy: getting a start

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2010-02-19T09:17:33Z

LeninandMcCarthy:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==

==Video==

===Transcript===

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Current]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?2dmiegjiyzd The original audio]

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxfkNdoV3fM Youtube version: part 1]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Mailbag/References

2010-02-17T06:32:24Z

LeninandMcCarthy: Clarify "Marie"

The [[Trolls|fans]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] love to mail Chris using the names of famous individuals, both real and fictional. Chris only seems to realize that he's heard of these people before if they repeatedly mention who they are and what they've done in the body of their letter. For example, Chris noticed and called out Eddie Berganza and Stephen king because they repeatedly mentioned who they were and specifically what they did in their lives. Likewise, Chris failed to notice people like Trent Reznor and Leonardo Da Vinci because the letters did not repeatedly reinforce that they were written by someone important.

==The list==
'''[[Mailbag 1]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Leonardo da Vinci|Leonardo DaVinci]]: Painter, inventor, super genius.

'''[[Mailbag 2]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Family Matters|Laura Winslow]]: The daughter from "Family Matters".
*[[Wikipedia:Rocky IV|Ivan Drago]]: Rocky's opponent from "Rocky IV".

'''[[Mailbag 3]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Manuel Noriega|Manuel Noriega]]: Military Dictator of Panama.

'''[[Mailbag 4]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Todd Phillips|Todd Phillips]]: Filmmaker.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Rocky IV|Ivan Drago]].
*[[Wikipedia:Lucifer|Samael Morningstar]]: The devil.
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Stalin|Joseph Stalin]]: Communist dictator of Russia.
*[[Wikipedia:Gabe Newell|Gabe Newell]]: Co-founder of game design company Valve.

'''[[Mailbag 5]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:List of Kanto Gym Leaders#Lt. Surge|Lietenant Surge]]: One of the Gym Leaders in Pokemon.
*[[Wikipedia:General_Von_Klinkerhoffen|Erich Von Klinkerhoffen]]: Nazi from the sitcom "Allo 'Allo!"

'''[[Mailbag 6]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Levi_Johnston|Levi Johnston]]: The guy who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter.
*[[Wikipedia:Kim Jong-un|Kim Jong Un]]: Third son of Kim Jong Il, the psychopathic manchild running North Korea.
*[[Wikipedia:John Wayne Gacy|John Gacy]]: Serial murder known as the "Killer Clown".

'''[[Mailbag 7]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Jeffrey Dahmer|Jeffrey Dahmer]]: Serial murder who liked to eat people.
*[[Wikipedia:Starship Troopers|Sergeant Charles Zim]]: Character from Starship Troopers.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Levi_Johnston|Levi Johnston]].

'''[[Mailbag 8]]'''
*Linetrap. But she doesn't really count.

'''[[Mailbag 9]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:The Big Lebowski|Walter Sobcheck]]: Character from the big Lebowski
*[[Wikipedia:Horst Wessel|Horst Wessel]]: Nazi activist.
*[[Wikipedia:Trent Reznor|Trent Reznor]]: Nine Inch Nails frontman.
*[[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]: Current dictator of Iran.

'''[[Mailbag 10]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]].

'''[[Mailbag 11]]'''
*[[wikipedia:Paul Bernardo|Paul Bernardo]]: Serial killer and rapist.
*[[wikipedia:There_Will_Be_Blood|Daniel Plainview]]: Character from "There will be Blood".
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Joestar|Joseph Joestar]]: Second hero from "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure".

'''[[Mailbag 12]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Besarion Jughashvili|Besarion Jughashvili]]:Joseph Stalin's dad.
*Another repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Levi Johnston|Levi Johnston]].

'''[[Mailbag 13]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Charles Darwin|Charles Darwin]]: The guy who came up with evolution.
*[[Wikipedia:The Man Who Was Thursday|Gabriel Syme]]: Main character of the Christian allegory "The man who was Thursday".
*[[Wikipedia:Rod Blagojevich|Rod Blagojevich]]: Disgraced former governor of Illinois.
*[[Wikipedia:Walter Breuning|Walter Breuning]]: Guy who's really, really old.
*[[Wikipedia:Oedipus Rex|Oedipus Rex]]: Main character of the play by Sophocles of the same name.
*[[wikipedia:Jokela school shooting|Erik Pikkuvikainen]]: The kid responsible for the Jokela school shooting.
*[[Wikipedia:Albert Speer|Albert Speer]]:Nazi Architect.

'''[[Mailbag 14]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]]: Michael Jackson's father.
*[[Wikipedia:Charles Whitman|Charles Whitman]]: Clock tower sniper.
*[[Wikipedia:Paul McCartney|Paul McCartney]]: International rock star and former member of the Beatles
*[[Wikipedia:Gloria Steinem|Gloria Steinem]]: Feminist activist.
*[[Wikipedia:Elton John|Elton John]]: International rock star. Wrote under his birth name: Reginald Dwight.
*[[Wikipedia:Eddie Berganza|Eddie Berganza]]: Comic artist.

'''[[Mailbag 15]]'''
*[[wikipedia:Norio Wakamoto|Norio Wakamoto]]: Japanese voice actor.

'''[[Mailbag 16]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]]: Porn star.

'''[[Mailbag 17]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Johnny Winter|Johnny Winter]]: Blues Singer

'''[[Mailbag 18]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Joseph Jackson (manager)|Joseph Jackson]].
*[[Wikipedia:Ed Gein|Edward Gein]]: Insane murderer and grave robber.
*[[Wikipedia:The Screwtape Letters|Wormwood]]: The Devil's apprentice from "The Screwtape Letters"
*[[Wikipedia:Castlevania|Maria Renard]]: Character in several Castlevania Games.

'''[[Mailbag 19]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Marilyn vos Savant|Marilyn vos Savant]]: Smartest person in the world.
*[[Wikipedia:Light Yagami|Light Yagami]]: Mass-murdering main character of "Death Note". Wrote under his Japanese name "Yagami Raito".

'''[[Mailbag 20]]'''
*While not written by any specific character, a direct reference to [[Wikipedia:Strong Bad|Strong Bad]].
*[[Wikipedia:Cory_Matthews|Corey Matthews]]: Main character of "Boy Meets World".
*[[wikipedia:Bruce Lee|Bruce Lee]]: Martial artist and actor, written under the Chinese name "Lee Jun Fan".

'''[[Mailbag 21]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Margaret Mead|Margaret Mead]]: Christian anthropologist and writer.
*[[Wikipedia:Jesus Christ|Jesus Christ]]: The Christian Messiah.
*[[Wikipedia:Colin Baker|Colin Baker]]: English Actor, portrayed the 6th incarnation of Dr. Who.

'''[[Mailbag 22]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Jones (singer)|Tom Jones]]: Singer

'''[[Mailbag 23]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Monkey Island (series)|Guybrush Threepwood]]: Protagonist of the Monkey Island adventure game series.
*[[Wikipedia:The Fountainhead|Howard Roark]]: Main character of the Ayn Rand book "The Fountainhead".
*[[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Pokémon anime series#Rivals|Gary Oak]]: Pokémon Character.
*[[Wikipedia:Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold|Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold]]: Columbine school shooters. The letter was not purported to be written by them specifically, but contained their pictures, and was written by someone claiming to be their teacher.
*[[Wikipedia:Morrissey|Steven Patrick Morrissey]]: Singer.
*[[Wikipedia:Mega Man (original series)|Thomas Light]]: Inventor of Mega Man, from the series by the same name.

'''[[Mailbag 24]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Lizzie_Borden|Liz Borden]]: Famous murderer, never proven.
*[[wikipedia:Pretty_Woman|Vivian Ward]]: Main character of movie "Pretty Woman".
*[[Wikipedia:Sayonara,_Zetsubou-Sensei|Zetsubou-sensei]]: Main character of "Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei"
*[[Wikipedia:Wolverine_(comics)|Wolverine]]: Marvel Comics superhero (Written under real name "Logan").
*[[Wikipedia:Magneto_(comics)|Magneto]]: Marvel Comics supervillian (Written under the name "Max Eisenhardt").

'''[[Mailbag 25]]'''
*Linetrap again.

'''[[Mailbag 26]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Aliens (film)|Trevor Wierzbowski]]: Minor character from "Aliens"
*[[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]]: Famed horror author. Chris actually noticed this one, probably because the writer of the letter was too blatant.
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Brown (entertainer)|Christopher Brown]]: Rapper. His letter is written about his girlfriend [[Wikipedia:Rihanna|Rhianna]], and how he beat the hell out of her.

'''[[Mailbag 27]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ted Kennedy|Ted Kennedy]]: Politician, recently deceased. Written about [[Wikipedia:Mary Jo Kopechne|Mary Jo Kopechne]], the girl he killed in a car accident.
*[[Wikipedia:John Calvin|John Calvin]]: Christian philosopher.
*[[Wikipedia:Randal Graves|Randal Graves]]: Character from Kevin Smith's movies.
*[[Wikipedia:David Vanian|David Vanian]]: Lead singer for the punk rock band "The Damned".
*And Linetrap again.

'''[[Mailbag 28]]'''
*Linetrap

'''[[Mailbag 29]]'''
*Reprint of [[Wikipedia:Eddie Berganza|Eddie Berganza]]'s letter. While it's likely Chris has no idea who this is, he called him out on his identity, probably because the letter made a very big deal out of his career.

'''[[Mailbag 30]]'''
*[[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]]: Character from Family Guy. Chris noticed and played along as the author was playing up his proposed Family Guy script.
*[[Wikipedia:Jim Lee|Jim Lee]]: Comic artist.
*[[Wikipedia:Stan (song)|Stan]]: Character from the [[Wikipedia:Eminem|Eminem]] song by the same name. Text of the letter was the first verse of said song, altered to apply to Chris.

'''[[Mailbag 31]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]]: Dead singer, allegedly molested children.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Stephen King|Stephen King]]. Chris either refused to respond or forgot.
*[[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy VII|Rufus Shinra]]: Character from Final Fantasy 7.

'''[[Mailbag 32]]'''
*While not using any character's name, one author's name and e-mail address were a reference to the Dethtroll episode of [[Wikipedia:Metalocalypse|Metalocalypse]].
*[[Wikipedia:H. P. Lovecraft|H. P. Lovecraft]]: Author, creator of the cosmic horror genre of literature.
*[[Wikipedia:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]]: Author of "Pride and Prejudice" and other sentimental novels. Humorously, Chris accused her of being uncreative.

'''[[Mailbag 33]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Edward R. Burke|Ed Burke]]: American Politician.

'''[[Mailbag 34]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Ezra Pound|Ezra Pound]]: Poet. Oddly, the e-mail address given referenced [[Wikipedia:The Merchant of Venice|The Merchant of Venice]].
*[[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]]: Main character of the video game "Snatcher".
*[[Wikipedia:Baby-sitters club#Mary Anne Spier|Mary Anne Spier]]: Character from "The Baby-Sitters Club, a series of novels for young girls.

'''[[Mailbag 35]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Gillian Seed]].
*[[Wikipedia:Josef Mengele|Josef Mengele]]: Nazi war criminal.
*[[Wikipedia:Fred West|Fred West]]: English serial killer and rapist.

'''[[Mailbag 36]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Kevin Mitnick|Kevin Mitnick]]: Computer hacker.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]], this time claiming to be a clergyman.

'''[[Mailbag 37]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Gary Larson|Gary Larson]]: Creator of "The Far Side" cartoons.

'''[[Mailbag 38]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Freddie Mercury|Freddie Mercury]]: Singer of Queen. Written under his birth name Farrokh Bulsara.

'''[[Mailbag 39]]'''
*Another repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Michael Jackson]].
*[[Wikipedia:Gendo Ikari|Gendo Ikari]]: Character from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
*[[Wikipedia:Chang Yu-sheng|Chang Yu-sheng]]: Late Chinese vocalist.
*[[Wikipedia:Puyo Puyo|Arle Nadja]]: Protagonist of the puzzle game Puyo Puyo.
*[[Wikipedia:Vidkun Quisling|Vidkun Quisling]]: Norwegian politician, attempted to size power during WWII and was subsequently executed for treason.
*[[Wikipedia:Quincy Magoo|Mr. Magoo]]: Legally blind cartoon character.

'''[[Mailbag 40]]'''
*[[Blake]]: Black Sonichu. Not "famous" but Chris completely missed it anyways.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Ron Jeremy|Ron Jeremy]].

'''[[Mailbag 41]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Milton Bradley|Milton Bradley]]: Board game pioneer.
*[[Wikipedia:William McKinley|William McKinley]]: 25th US president.
*[[Wikipedia:Neil Gaiman|Neil Gaiman]]: Author
*[[Wikipedia:Kathryn Janeway|Kathryn Janeway]]: Character from "Star Trek: Voyager".

'''[[Mailbag 42]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Augustus Hill|Augustus Hill]]: Character from the TV show "Oz".
*[[Wikipedia:Jaz Hoyt|Jazz Hoyt]]: Another Character from "Oz".
*[[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]]: Character from the video game "Snatcher".
*[[Wikipedia:John Williams|John Williams]]: Composer of film soundtracks.
*[[Wikipedia:Fight Club#Robert "Bob" Paulson|Robert Paulson]]: Character from "Fight Club". The only reference to his full name was in his e-mail address.
*[[Wikipedia:Tomás de Torquemada|Tomás de Torquemada]]: Leader of the Spanish Inquisition. Written under the name "Thomas Torquemada".
*[[Wikipedia:Kareem Saïd|Kareem Saïd]]: Yet another character from "Oz." Written under the name "Kareem Siad".

'''[[Mailbag 43]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Masaki Sumitani|Masaki Sumitani]]: Japanese comedian and actor. Most famous for his character Hard Gay.
*[[Wikipedia:List of recurring Monty Python's Flying Circus characters|Ken Shabby]]:Recurring character from Monty Python's Flying Circus.
*[[Wikipedia:R. Dorothy Wayneright|R. Doropthy Wayneright]]: Robot from the anime series "Big O".
*[[Wikipedia:G.K. Chesterton|G.K. Chesterton]]: English Catholic apologist and author.

'''[[Mailbag 44]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Max Cady|Max Cady]]:Character from the novel "The Executioners".
*[[Wikipedia:Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy|Trevor McFur]]: Furry from "Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy", a launch game for the Jaguar system.
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Snatcher|Randam Hajile]].

'''[[Mailbag 45]]'''
*[[Duck|Mike Hawke]]: Dick joke commonly used in prank calls.
*Another appearance from [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]], who's life is rapidly deteriorating.
*[[Wikipedia:Manfred Eicher|Manfred Eicher]]: German record producer
*[[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]]: Actor, most famous role was playing Buck Rogers.
*[[Wikipedia:Adam Savage|Adam Savage]]: Co-host of Mythbusters. Chris likely noticed, as the e-mail made a big deal out of him being from Mythbusters, and then sent him a picture of a man's asshole.

'''[[Mailbag 46]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Kevin Peter Hall|Kevin Peter Hall]]: Actor, most famous for playing the predator in the first two movies.
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Green|Tom Green]]: Either a bad actor, or an avant-grad genius, depending on who you ask.

'''[[Mailbag 47]]'''
*While not a direct reference, one e-mail address referenced "[[Wikipedia:Rocket to Russia|teenage lobotomy]]" a song by [[Wikipedia:The Ramones|The Ramones]].
*[[Wikipedia:Valentina Tereshkova|Valentina Tereshkova]]: Russian Astronaut, the first woman in space.
*[[Wikipedia:Tom Vilsack|Tom Vilsack]]: Current U.S. Secretary of Agriculture.

'''[[Mailbag 48]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Jeff_Gerstmann|Jeff Gerstmann]]: Video game journalist.
*[[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] returns, all bummed out that Chris broke his promise.
*[[Wikipedia:The Proposition|Morris Stanley]]: Main chracter from the film "The Proposition".
*[[Wikipedia:Billy Herrington|Billy Herrington]]: Bisexual porn star. The Bro Aniki in the email is a reference to the horizontal shooter [[Wikipedia: Cho Aniki|Cho Aniki]] which is notorious for its homosexual innuendo.

'''[[Mailbag 49]]'''
*One letter combined the names of [[Wikipedia:Bart Simpson|Bart Simpson]] of The Simpsons and [[Wikipedia:Brock Samson|Brock Samson]] of the Venture Brothers.
*[[Wikipedia:Fist of the Blue Sky|Kenshiro Kasumi]]: Main character of the manga series "Fist of the Blue Sky".

'''[[Mailbag 50]]'''
*Nothing. No actual e-mails either, because Chris copypasta'd a bunch of sarcastic forum posts that pretended to kiss his ass and took them all at face value.

'''[[Mailbag 51]]'''
*Repeat appearance by [[Wikipedia:Gil Gerard|Gil Gerard]].
*[[Wikipedia:The Notorious B.I.G.|The Notorious B.I.G.]]: Deceased rapper, written under the nickname "Biggie".
*[[Wikipedia:Scott Bernard|Scott Bernard]]: Character from the anime series Robotech.
*While not referecing any single character, one name and e-mail address was a direct refrence to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZZUMjoxfZA mahvel baybee].

'''[[Mailbag 52]]'''
*[[Wikipedia:Lisa Marie Presley|Lisa Marie Presley]]: As "Marie Jackson" revealing the tragic ending of the [[Wikipedia:Michael Jackson|Mike Jackson]] saga. Chris takes the opportunity to be an asshole.

[[Category:Fan]]