CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article

2012-06-28T10:06:43Z

Lime:

''This article contains the main Sonichu TV Tropes page. For the Just Bugs Me and Wild Mass Guessing pages, see [[User:T K 19/TVTropes|this page]].''
[[Image:206-SonichuPose.jpg|thumb|right|[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination Enjoy], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop Learn], and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Stay Straight].]]

{{quote|Go! Sonichu! Go out and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CatchphraseToTheMax zap to the extreme!]|''Sonichu #0''}}

{{quote|Tell me about it on CWC. Geez, when you have '''me''' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/facepalm facepalm]ing at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DavidGonterman David Gonterman]| [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/archived_discussion.php?s_t=Main.DavidGonterman on] Christian Weston Chandler, emphasis added. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible Way added.]}}

There is ''Artemis' Lover''. There is ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/AgonyInPink Agony In Pink]''. There is ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheGirlWhoLived The Girl Who Lived]''. There is ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyImmortal My Immortal]''. There is ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyInnerLife My Inner Life]''. Many demonstrations could be made for the ascendant terribleness of such works, putting them above all lesser bad fanworks.

But then, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible standing resplendent above them all], there is Sonichu.

''[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu_Comic_Collection Sonichu]'' was a <strike>fan</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MemeticMutation TRUE and ORIGINAL] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Webcomic webcomic] created by one Christian Weston Chandler, starring (at least initially) the eponymous Electric [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Hedgehog] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitlei015gc004kw4 Pokémon] and his friends. The comic itself would be remarkable only for how [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Horrible/Webcomics unbelievably bad it is], but it has in recent years gained notoriety due to the author's antics in response to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll troll]ing and other harassment. The result is a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination perversely-fascinating], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DysfunctionJunction deeply-dysfunctional], symbiotic relationship - Mr. Chandler's creation has been saved from the curse of obscurity at the price of a "fanbase" devoted to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeusAngstMachina making his life a living hell.]

''Sonichu'' started as some sort of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitlei015gc004kw4 Pokémon]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic The Hedgehog]'' crossover world, and the first few issues focus on Sonichu's origin, his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MeetCute meeting] with his "heartsweet" [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheChick Rosechu] (based [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz heavily] on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/SonicTheHedgehog Amy Rose]), and a supporting cast of other Hedgehog Pokémon of various types. But in issue #2 and from issues #4-7, the series crystallizes into its present form, as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Christian himself takes center stage] and encounters and battles his enemies in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife real life], from mall cops to the dean of his local community college to internet [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll trolls]. Needless to say, the supposed main plot, a search for the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin Sonichu Bal]- sorry, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon Sonichu Crystals], in order to use their powers to free Christian's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DistaffCounterpart Distaff Counterpart] and "dream sibling", Crystal, from a mirror the aforementioned dean have trapped her in, takes a backseat.

Due to criticism over such a self-centered plotline, Christian eventually gets [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus trapped in a timestream], leaving Sonichu to take up his heroic mantle of defender of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySuetopia CWCville]. The war against [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageBoards "Four-Cent Garbage"] rages on, interrupted by the occasional [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Yiff furry sex scene], until issue #9 [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenreShift changes focus] (again) to dating education ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IThoughtItMeant no, not] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsALongStory sex education]) and Christian's crude interpretation of how relationships work.

The last chapter of issue 9 depicts a lengthy battle against invading forces from the PVCC, and ends with Sonichu and friends [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneSidedBattle beating them with as much resistance as a team of Mary Sues typically gets]. Christian's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] is released from the timestream shortly afterwards, and this cues the beginning of Issue #10, which can best be described as a combination of undisguised [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment] and Christian's attempt to get back at his internet antagonizers by turning both his avatar and Sonichu into bigger [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sues] than ever, via the Sonichu <strike>Crystals</strike> Balls, and depict them punishing in-comic representations of his enemies by either killing or injuring them, destroying their property or making them [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KneelBeforeZod pray to him for forgiveness]. As the story progresses, Christian's feud with his "enemies" from real life becomes increasingly more disturbing, and its culmination in issue #10 finale can be most charitably described as the ultimate proof that Christian is in dire need of psychiatric help. It's worth noting that in this issue Christian frequently derailed the plot so he could devote several pages to "punishing" comic books versions of people who "wronged" him most recently; by contrast, (supposedly) important plot threads (such as Crystal being trapped in Dark Mirror Hole, or Christian's feud with college dean) were [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeusExMachina resolved quickly and anticlimactically]. This sequence of events create probably the most unplanned and, for newcomers, incomprehensible storyline so far in ''Sonichu''. Christian (once again) promised that in the future issues he will give the spotlight to Sonichu and that his Author Avatar won't appear so often. However, he isn't famous for keeping his promises (having made this exact one before), so future issues can be expected to be similar storyline-wise to ''Sonichu 10'', with new real life-based enemies introduced as more trolling undoubtedly will continue to rain down upon him. (That is, of course, assuming there will be new issues at all, which might not happen in the foreseeable future. Christian hasn't uploaded any new pages since February 2010 and [[CWC_Blog#10_March_2010|is deeply offended even by mere suggestions that he should update his own webcomic]]. It seems that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AttentionDeficitCreatorDisorder he decided to devote his time to more entertaining activities instead], such as masturbating, playing video games and [[:File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|whining]] [[GameFAQs|about them]] [[CWC_Blog#26_May_2010|on the internet]], [[OkCupid#ChrisCSonichu_profile|continuing his]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/QuestForSex Quest For Sex] on the internet, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hypocrite condemning internet] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlatantLies claiming that he is "active within his community"].)

Since this comic blurs the line between fiction and reality so much, a deep understanding of Mr. Chandler's life and psyche is required to make any sense of it. The best source would be [[Main Page|the CWCki]], an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWikiRule entire wiki] cataloging Mr. Chandler's life and works (warning: some pages and images are definitely [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotSafeForWork Not Sage For Work] or [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrainBleach your mental health]), while the even more [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NSFW NSFW] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] page that started this whole mess can be found [http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-Chan here]. Mr. Chandler's own websites tend to be hacked and deleted with some degree of regularity. He used to have his own ''Sonichu'' wiki which could be found [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page here]; however, in response to trolls hacking and vandalizing his precious wiki (again), on 27 May 2010 he announced his decision to [[100 2188|"relinquish what was the Cwcipedia" while "keeping ownership of what it was before yesterday"]]. In response Vivian Gee and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Alec Benson Leary] took control of CWCipedia and claimed all rights to Sonichu; at the beginning of June 2010 the control of CWCipedia apparently was taken over by a mysterious individual [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/True_and_Honest_FAQ who may or may not be the TRUE and HONEST CWC].* Well, actually it's definitely not CWC, but it's fun to pretend otherwise. And who knows, maybe it's a beginning of new saga...

Compare the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GonterVerse Gonter Verse], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SilentHill Silent Hill], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hell Hell]. See also ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Moon-Pals Moon-Pals]'', two much better series that you probably should be reading instead of this one, if you aren't already.

'''Please note that several links on this page are not work safe. Don't forget to keep the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrainBleach Brain Bleach] close by should you decide to visit any of them, worksafe or otherwise.'''

----

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Tropes from the comic: A-M
|-
|This comic contains examples of:
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbortedArc Aborted Arc]: Several characters are introduced, only to have little to no relevance later on. A fine example of this is Ivy: she was made Chris's eternal sweetheart by ''God and Jesus Themselves'', only to be [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BusCrash killed off-screen] after the "death" of the "real" Ivy.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AccidentalInnuendo Accidental Innuendo]: "I cannot be deprived of my balls."
** From Sonichu 6: a picture of a surprised Chris, an explosion in his groin area and the words: "Somethings's happening downstairs! Sonichu, Magi-Chan, come with me!" ([http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_6/Page_24 link])
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AgeCut Age Cut]: Done in the Spring Break issue to show that certain characters are of legal age to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IfYouKnowWhatIMean be true loving couples].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllThereInTheManual All There In The Manual]: As an example, WesLi Sonichu, one of many villains based on real life people, makes lots of references to magic tricks and props and the like. This is because Wes Iseli, the real life counterpart of the character, is a [http://wesiseli.com/ professional magician]. ''In no way does the comic bother trying to explain this to the reader.'' It takes multiple trips to the [[Main Page|CWCki]] or reading through the mailbags to understand just who the hell these heroes and villains are supposed to be.
** At the height of Chris's fear that all of his "fans" would leave him for Asperchu, he decided to do his usual thing of righting the wrongs within the pages of the comic. The thing is, if you only read Sonichu and had no idea about Asperchu you would be completely lost and would need to read Asperchu to understand Sonichu... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OhCrap Oh Crap].
** Chris also revealed some information that's relevant to the plot of ''Sonichu'' not in the comic itself, but only in the CWCipedia articles. For example, in the article about Magi-Chan Chris revealed that after his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] destroyed Count Graduon's wand "ALL of his [i.e. Graduon's, not [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainProtagonist Christian's], unfortunately] brainwashings, magic and curses became undone" and that Silvana fell in love with Magi-Chan; so far, none of this was shown in the webcomic itself. This is most likely caused by Christian's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LazyArtist laziness], as it's much easier for him to create an article on his wiki than to draw comic book pages (though of course [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSlacker even writing short articles is too much effort for him to do that regularly]).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllTrollsAreDifferent All Trolls Are Different]: Chris envisions the internet trolls who antagonize him as living [[wikipedia:Troll_doll|Troll dolls]] in the comic.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlternativeCharacterInterpretation Alternative Character Interpretation]: God and Jesus are trolls.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle And Knowing Is Half The Battle]: Almost literally: Chris often [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorFilibuster pauses mid-panel to drop cautionary messages into his comics], such as encouraging parents to pay attention to the age ratings on the games their kids play, and plugging ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LittleBigPlanet LittleBigPlanet]'' while encouraging readers not to buy knock-off copies of the game for the <strike>Xbox</strike> Hex Bawx 360.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Animesque Animesque]: After Chris met Megan in real life, sweat drops, anime eyes, and other Japanese influences started appearing more frequently.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnimatedActors Animated Actors]: Supposedly Sonichu and Rosechu are married and have children "outside" of the comic... which makes it even more difficult to figure out on [[Reality|what level of reality all this insanity is taking place on]].
** Even the characters themselves are having trouble with telling the difference between their reality and in-universe fiction, such as Sonichu mistaking drawings of Rosechu in the nude as real candid photographs of her.
*** Although that one may have been the artist's attempt to make his own drawings look better [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell by having the characters talk about how life-like they are].
** A second phone call between Chris and Alec Benson Leary confirmed that [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris actually believes that all comic book and cartoon characters - including Sonichu characters - really exist]] in some sort of bizarre, ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Who Framed Roger Rabbit]''-esque "toon world"...in fact, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm he cited Roger Rabbit as evidence that this is true.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnthropomorphicPersonification Anthropomorphic Personification]: the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigBad Big Bad] is named Count Graduon, who is a living, breathing manifestation of Chris' bad memories of his graduation. Chris was angry because he was not allowed to recite some inane poem, so he created Count Graduon to "protest".
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtEvolution Art Evolution]: Well... Chris' self-insert character has stopped [[:File:CWC_collage.jpg|inflating/deflating at random]] due to Chris trying to draw himself realistically while at the same time denying his quickly increasing baldness and obesity. Also, his hair is now firmly glued to his head.
** By the end of 2009, his artwork has improved further... but only slightly. While rushing to make up for constant [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScheduleSlip schedule slippage], Chris's artwork has devolved back to that of a preschooler.
*** Considering the slight improvement only really got up to 1st year school standards, this trope needs to be considered in the widest possible context. No matter how one looks at it, the art is still quite bad.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtifactOfDoom Artifact Of Doom]: The Black Sonichu Medallion worn by Reldnahc.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtifactTitle Artifact Title]: Despite the comic being called ''Sonichu'', the beast in question has been appearing less and less. Chris is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus trying] to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DroppedABridgeOnHim rectify] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GrandFinale that].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtistDisillusionment Artist Disillusionment]: It seems that Chris realized that he doesn't enjoy writing ''Sonichu'' if he's forced to work on it regularly. This resulted in Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScheduleSlip not updating the comic] (and CWCipedia in general) and [[CWC_Blog#March_2010|insulting fans he thinks he has]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAppeal Author Appeal]: Numerous references to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Anime anime] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdultSwim Adult Swim] programs, a ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MontyPython Monty Python]'' quote or two, and most famously the "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fanservice fanservice]" of Rosechu making pornographic pictures of herself to try countering troll accusations of her having a "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism pickle]"... and then [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WordOfGod claiming in Encyclopedia Dramatica] ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint she did it for women's rights.]''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar]: Besides writing an idealized version of himself into the comic, Chris uses Sonichu as a proxy to channel his rage about constant accusations of him being homosexual.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorFilibuster Author Filibuster]: Played straight when the author avatar harangues the "Jerkops" (policemen who tried removing him from a mall) after defeating him, or Sonichu's [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_8/Page_30 impassioned speech] given to "Jason" on the top of "Four-Cent Garbage" building about trolling. What makes it funny is that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PatrioticFervor it ties into patriotism and has a damn American flag in the back].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BaitTheDog Bait The Dog]: Chris was starting to actually be nice to the Asperchu people, something he's never really done... only to turn around and make himself even more of an asshole by killing them in his fictional comic.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BaldOfEvil Bald Of Evil]: A fair few of the male villains, possibly because Chris didn't feel like drawing hair.
** Chris-Chan himself is already becoming this trope, as his bad health and worse nutrition are thinning out his hair at a scary rate.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible Beyond The Impossible]: The comic just keeps topping itself in terms of offensiveness and general badness. Issue 10 alone consists of Chris making a cure for homosexuality from his own "straight" blood, Chris raping his future wife, stage directions put into the dialogue, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveYouTriedNotBeingAMonster homosexuality presented as akin to demonic possession], trolls Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus portrayed as gays who are informed by a demon that they're going to hell because they're gay, and them being instantly accepting of that, Chris ''destroying a skyscraper full of people with a song about how much better ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PowerRangers Power Rangers]'' used to be'' (and then acting sad about their "unavoidable" deaths), Chris curing the whole world of homosexuality and asexuality by pouring his blood into every drinking water supply on earth (presumably without anyone's permission) not only forcibly eliminating homosexuality without anyone's consent but [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking rendering the world's water supply unkosher], a visit from [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Meg Griffin] that's terribly drawn even by Chris's standards, the debut of "Collossal Chris-Chan" who looks like some bizarre fusion of Sonic, Chris and Paul Bunyan, Chris going to Minnesota, pettily frying Alec Leary's hard drive and messianically freeing all of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'s'' characters from Alec's evil grasp, Chris beating up <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SdrawkcabName Slaweel Ryam] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FateWorseThanDeath paralyzing her], and culminates with ''Sonichu'' characters torturing, mutilating and murdering Asperpedia trolls.
** And the mailbag explanations... Hoo boy. He still manages to claim that he accepts the gay community. He claims the future wife thing was not rape and that Meg was pushing it on him which is why he didn't cheat on his wife.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BerserkButton Berserk Button]: Rosechu and pickles, Sonichu being called a homo.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigNo Big No]: Chris does this in one of the comics when he finds out he's been set up by a girl working in a coffee shop who said she wanted to date him. He has also done it in real life at least once (and he apparently freaked out so much that [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris Lies About The Game Place|the police had to be called]]).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BiggusDickus BiggusDickus]: The "Giant Penis Comic", which is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Exactly What It Says On The Tin]. It's an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick enormous and uncomfortably-detailed drawing] of his own "duck," complete with a rather scary 45-degree bend in it. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrainBleach Brain Bleach], please.
** For extra squick value: It's possible Chris may have traced his own penis, because that scary bend is true for Chris IRL as well.
*** On the other hand, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeBrilliance Fridge Brilliance]: If it really is deformed like that, using the word "duck" as a euphemism makes perfect sense, when you consider the genitalia of actual ducks.
*** Why do you know this.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigBrotherIsWatching Big Brother Is Watching]: Magi-Chan Sonichu enforces CWCville's anti-homosexuality and child abuse laws by spying telepathically on people having sex, on the off-chance that two men might be having sex at any time (which equates to a $500 fine or 50 hours of community service). Possibly the most screamingly offensive and mind-bugging (no pun intended) [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WordOfGod Word Of God] statement ever, and that's saying a lot.
** Once enough people got ticked off and used the mailbag to say that, he backpedaled and deal with Magi-Chan and the Sonichu no longer uses his powers to determine what people do with their sex life.
** He didn't reverse it so much because he realised it was wrong, but because it was pointed out to him that he was basically making one of his characters watch gay sex.
** It's also funny to note that Chris has gone on record saying that sometimes he randomly imagines penises or gay acts, thus meaning that he himself would be so incriminated under the above system.
*** Knowing Chris though, he'd probably be exempt from that law.
** Mostly because of Magi-Chan's purple colouring, he is often assumed by trolls to be gay, adding a whole new meaning to his psychic search for other gay people.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BileFascination Bile Fascination]: ''Sonichu'' has approximately zero actual fans, but is nonetheless mesmerizing due to its sheer horror and as a look into the mind of its creator.
** Honestly, ''Sonichu'' '''is''' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostTriumphantExample the very pinnacle of this trope.] The average bad fanwork gets ignored or a few mocking reviews. Something that goes beyond bad might get a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DramaticReading Dramatic Reading] or two, or a skilled [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MST MST]. ''Sonichu'' has inspired multiple parody comics, a well-drawn redo of the comic, several makeshift animated adaptions, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWikiRule a whole wiki] devoted to its 'minutae', and who knows how many people following it all who will not stop pressing Chris' buttons because the well seems bottomless. You don't see, for a random example, people adapting ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanficRecs/MarvelUniverse The Shocker: Legit]'' into a fan-comic, yet something like ''this'' gets this degree of attention, simply for how ''bad'' it is and how beyond belief its creator is. It leaves one at a loss for words.
*** And his own life and antics are so bad that whatever happens he will never be free from the people who pursue and troll him. As the CWCki explains, even if you took away his internet or he had to move elsewhere after his parents die, his antics and attitude to life would ensure no shortage of people online and offline (on both sides) ready to step in to try and help him or troll him. He inspires comedy and drama the likes of which most [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealityTelevision Reality Television] shows can only dream about... and it's all strangely compelling. As has also been stated, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity most people online would do anything for the publicity Chris has got].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlandNameProduct Bland Name Product]: Rosechu uses a "Quadak"-brand digital camera in Sonichu 8.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BoringInvincibleHero Boring Invincible Hero]: Christian's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] and his Sonic recolors (well, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesignatedHero to the extent] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeroicSociopath they can be] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainProtagonist considered heroes]), who [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible become increasingly]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue more overpowered in the comic] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished as Christian becomes increasingly more frustrated and desperate to get back at trolls in real life].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BouquetToss Bouquet Toss]: <strike>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OrwellianEditor Sarah]</strike> "Nicole" tosses her wedding bouquet to Chris at the end of Episode 12... even though [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CriticalResearchFailure wedding bouquets do not work that way].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrokenBase Broken Base]: ''Sonichu'''s "fanbase" can be divided into roughly four groups - those who wish to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll antagonize Chris into providing further entertainment], those who pity him and wish that he'd get help, those who hate him for his viewpoints and actions, and those who have withdrawn in disgust. Individuals bounce from category to category as the ''Sonichu'' saga unfolds.
** People among the fourth group of said "fanbase" that wish to stay there would definitely need [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrainBleach something to scrub their minds out with] to forget that Chris and Sonichu ever existed.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrotherSisterIncest Brother Sister Incest]: All of the Sonichus and Rosechus have been known to call Chris their father. Some of them are in sexual relationships with each other. Interpret that as you will. Also, his "sister" Crystal has the Rosechu medallion that Chris intended to give his true love. That, and the fact that his "sister" has the same name that his fantasy daughter has, makes one wonder.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParentalIncest Parental Incest]: Chris drew several pornographic pictures of Sonichus and Rosechus, [[Masturbating and squirtin'|expected other people to provide him with Rosechu porn]] and [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris tries to leave|admitted that drawing naked Rosechu turns him on ("a bit")]]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnfortunateImplications And Rosechus call Chris their father]. Also, in ''Sonichu 10'' Chris drew his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] making out with Silvana (in the guise of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Meg Griffin]); since Chris apparently considers his Sonic recolors to be his children, he basically drew himself making out with his own kid.
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCanKickedHim The Can Kicked Him]: Simonla is killed by an explosive device hidden in a toilet.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz Captain Ersatz]: The majority of the cast consists of ''Sonic'' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PaletteSwap recolors]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CatchPhrase Firstly], Sonichu is an ersatz that the author made sometime in the 1990s when a teacher wouldn't allow him to use Sonic the Hedgehog or [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Pokemon Pikachu] in a class project due to copyright. There's also Simonla Rosechu, who was originally a (male) [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanCharacter Fan Character] created by a troll who's a fan of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]'', but Chris decided to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenderFlip change his gender] and turn him into a Rosechu before using her in the comic. Add in two characters based off [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Zelda Zelda] (Zelina Rosechu, Clawdorf and Darkbind Sonichu), [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SailorMoon Sailor Megtune] and various others. The only characters who seem to be completely original are Kel and Count Graduon.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CelibateHero Celibate Hero]: Magi-Chan, the most powerful Sonichu and the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneMan Only Sane Man], used to not seek romance. Notable in that he was the only Sonic recolor with some importance in the story who ''hadn't'' been permanently paired up with someone. Chris of course noticed that and immediately took the chance to establish Magi-Chan as a character different from the rest of his boring, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatCharacter flat], obsessed-with-sex Sonic recolors, with at least some personality and originality... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot Oh wait, that didn't happen]. Instead, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PairTheSpares Chris made Magi-Chan and Silvana fall in love with each other].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterAlignment Character Alignment]:
** Chris: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChaoticEvil Chaotic Evil], believes he's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LawfulGood LawfulGood]
** Mary Lee Walsh: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LawfulNeutral Lawful Neutral], portrayed as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeutralEvil Neutral Evil]
** Sonichu: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LawfulEvil Lawful Evil]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChaoticNeutral Chaotic Neutral]
** Rosechu: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrueNeutral True Neutral] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeutralFemale Female]
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrueNeutral True Neutral]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CityOfAdventure City Of Adventure]: CWCville is ''supposed'' to be like this, but it comes off more as a militaristic city-state out of an Orwellian nightmare that would put the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Warhammer40000 Tau Empire] to shame.
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheChick The Chick]: Rosechu -- her hobbies are "frolicing through the fields, shopping at CWCville mall and cooking."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Chickification Chickification]: Megagi La Skunk, who goes from being a tomboy wearing spiked collars in her introduction to donning a cheerleader outfit and being a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShallowLoveInterest Shallow Love Interest] like the rest of the female cast in the later issues.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChristmasSpecial Christmas Special]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ClicheStorm Cliché Storm]: There is close to zero originality here.
** There was one "skitch" that Chris thought he could get onto ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]''. It was the most original thing he'd ever drawn. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreNotBad It was also much, much worse than the unoriginal rest of the comic.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ColdBloodedTorture Cold Blooded Torture]: Chris and his Sonic recolors subject Asperpedia trolls to this at the end of ''Sonichu 10''. Before killing them. Somehow, the reader is supposed ''to root for the torturers''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CombinationAttack Combination Attack]: Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance! [''sic''] So awesome and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Animesque Animesque], it had to be misspelled both times it was used in the comics.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint Completely Missing The Point]: Oh where to begin...
** One major one is the aforementioned Rosechu stripping naked to fight for women's rights. That's not what women's rights are about...
** In one issue, Sonichu gets an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PantyShot upskirt view] of Rosechu, and reacts as you might expect.
::'''Rosechu's thoughts:''' "I love being appreciated and fully understood for my being, as well as my bod." (Note that personality isn't mentioned.)
** That's because [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatCharacter she doesn't have one].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompleteMonster Complete Monster]: Comic!Chris. While the real Chris Chandler is a pathetic loser with a lot of derangement, his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] blows out people's kneecaps after disarming them, destroyed a guy's home life even though he was enforcing the rules of the place Chris was soliciting at, seals up a building and blows it up ensuring no living thing escapes (justifying it with how their security was lackluster), then collapses another building full of people whose worst crime can be considered being a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkAss JerkAss], killing one hundred people, injuring hundreds more, and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritersCannotDoMath leaving 250 people unaccounted for], before arranging a show trial for a bunch of people who murdered Simonla (but who really just making fun of him), and had them sentenced to be brutally tortured to death by every "good" character in the comic, including Simonla's less than a year old daughter. And he does it all with a gleeful smile on his face.
** Meanwhile, Slaweel only gets life for killing at least two people, and maybe even more, during her raid on CWCVille. Those two people being Chris' RL 'sweethearts'. Apparently, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsAllAboutMe it's only worthy of the death penalty if it directly demeans Chris in any way].
*** Actually, both of those deaths were caused by collateral damage, which could be linked to the heroes as well as the villains.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CosmicKeystone Cosmic Keystone]: The Sunstone. It gets forgotten the issue after it's introduced.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CriticalResearchFailure Critical Research Failure]: Chris has made it clear he knows jack-shit.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrossPoppingVeins Cross Popping Veins]: In one picture of Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Crossover Crossover]: Of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic The Hedgehog]'' and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitlei015gc004kw4 Pokémon]'', obviously. Sort of.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment Of Awesome]: See [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeThatUs Take That Us] below.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny Crowning Moment Of Funny]: "I'm Jesus, s'up?"
** Fan-made ''Sonichu 11'' (see [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningTheAsylum Running The Asylum] below for details) gave us this conversation between Magi-Chan and Reginald Sneasel, which also serves as nice [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeThat Take That] to Chris:
::'''Magi-Chan:''' "Reginald, I'm afraid I have some bad news, Angelica was just killed by Slaweel's bomb at the Mal-Wart. She was buying some feminine hygiene products when the bomb exploded. Sonichu had a fierce fight with her but was not able to stop her from explodin the bombs. Since I know you and Angelica were very close, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LackOfEmpathy I would suggest you buy a love doll from Specners Gifts or some other quality adult goods retailer to keep you company while you find another heartsweet to date and eventually have intercourse with after the third date]."
::'''Reginald:''' "This is terrible news. Thank you for telling me Magi-Chan. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForgottenFallenFriend I will take your idea of Spencers Gifts love doll into consideration.]"
** Unintentional, but Rosechu's "profile." It's so sexist, how can you not laugh?
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CureYourGays Cure Your Gays]: Chris' anti-gay vaccine. The fact that he donated some of his own blood to create said vaccine raises some hilarious unintended implications [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailYourMedicalBoardsForever if you know anything about how vaccines are made]. Also, it's stated that you need pure heterosexual blood to make it, and yet Future Chris is still alive at that point.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DarkerAndEdgier Darker And Edgier]: Issue 10, which features Chris torturing four people to death in the most brutally inhumane ways- including snapping their bones, shooting them at point black range, electrocuting someone until they end up a burned husk, and forcing a girl with the emotional maturity of a fourth grader to drill someone to death.
*Not to mention the grotesque, graphic (considering that it is supposed to be a comic for children) sex scenes.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathIsCheap Death Is Cheap]: Averted as far as characters exclusive to his fictional universe goes. His argument against killing off [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShallowLoveInterest Simonla] is that it would be terrible to deprive Wild Sonichu of his girlfriend.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Defictionalization Defictionalization]: [http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/ 4-cent garbage.com] was made into a real [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageBoard Image Board], and since coming to the attention of the Internet, there now really are several organizations dedicated to making Chris miserable.
** Someone got fed up with Christian whining about being "[[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown#Aftermath|BALLZ-BROKEN (...) IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!']]" and created [http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic this game].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DemotedToExtra Demoted To Extra]: ''Sonichu himself'' takes a backseat to everyone else in the comic after issue #1.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepravedBisexual Depraved Bisexual]: Silvana.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepravedHomosexual Depraved Homosexual]: Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. His sexual orientation is variously characterized as being integral to his villain personality, making Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch somewhat out of touch] with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DiscreditedTrope social mores]. At least [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JackChick Jack Chick] ''deliberately'' rattles cages.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesignatedHero Designated Hero]: The protagonists spend all their time [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverybodyHasLotsOfSex having sex and/or trying to have sex], and yet the readers are meant to support them and cheer them as heroes.
** While Chris calls women in his comic equal to men, they only exist for three reasons: looking pretty, shopping, and proving that all male characters in the comic are ''STRAIGHT!''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DethroningMomentOfSuck Dethroning Moment Of Suck]: Difficult to pin down. The comic ''started out'' as abysmally shitty, and then [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible somehow went] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItGotWorse further downhill] once Sonichu all but disappeared from it, and the addition of sex scenes certainly didn't help matters.
** Chris exacting revenge on Asperpedia trolls that forced him to kill Simonla ''by having them tortured to death in his comic''. And he does it to their comic book versions ''right after apologizing to real life Asperpedia trolls''.
*** And later he claimed that the guy who wanted him to kill Simonla and whose comic book version was murdered in the most gruesome way should be satisfied and move on, because Simonla is dead. Right before that, he also stated that... No, [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|this must be seen to be believed]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeusExMachina Deus Ex Machina]: Magi-chan is "psychic", which means that he can teleport anyone in and out of action and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MrExposition explain, out of the blue, what the heck the other characters are supposed to actually do in these stories]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychicPowers Psychic powers]: the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AddedAlliterativeAppeal perfect putty to plug] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotHole plot holes].
** And despite being the comic's #1 source of exposition and Psychic Ex Machina, Magi-chan somehow lost the leadership vote of the Chaotic Combo to Wild Sonichu.
** Not to forget the emergence of the never-before-seen-or-mentioned Bionic the Hedgehog to take out Reldnahc in Sonichu #6.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDevilIsALoser The Devil Is A Loser]: Beel, ostensibly a Satan analogue, but also the peevish secretary of the 4-Cent Garbage HQ.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch Did Not Do The Research]: Oh, so many examples. To begin with, Chris thinks he can actually make money off this...
** In the very first episode, the rainbow's colors go red, orange, yellow, blue, green, purple, light purple.
** In Issue 10, Chris says he traveled through time and had sex with his future wife, who thought he was [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScrewYourself his future self]. Now he has a very hard time explaining to his furious fans why this sex under false pretense can't be considered rape.
** Issue 11 involves Sonichu and Rosechu's kids getting ready for Christmas and performing in a play. In what is supposed to be a public school, the play is Very Very Very Christian. Apparently separation of Church and state doesn't exist in CWCville.
** Also, the depiction that the comics give to the Cherokees is simply ludicrous: Not only does Comic!Chris claim to be a descendant of the king of the Cherokee tribe (notice that the Cherokee tribe wasn't a monarchy) but also claims that the Cherokees had as enemies a tribe named after an Asian condiment (no, seriously).
*** Not to mention his Cherokee ancestor is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MightyWhitey portrayed as Caucasian and wearing golden armor]. That's... not even stereotyping, that's just plain stupid.
** Chris believes that autism comes from an injection that doctors give to certain babies, and that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GayPanic getting a blood transfusion from a gay person will turn you gay as well.]
** His mayor's office is located in the mall and he sees no problem with this. Also, CWCville gives free housing and about 1500 dollars a month to jobless.
** In the comic, Collosal Chris-Chan deletes everything in Asperpedia (hint: it's a MediaWiki site where nothing ever gets lost), blocks the admins (hint: it's a MediaWiki site where admins can unblock themselves), and deletes their user accounts (H:IAMWSW user accounts can't be deleted, by design). And to think that Chris claims to be the lord and ruler over all of CWCipedia, which incidentally is a MediaWiki site too...
** According to the CWCki, he makes references to ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]'' '''without even having watched it'''.
*** Which adds a real [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Irony Irony] to the fact that he had the daughter of a Simon [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErstatz Captain Erstatz] use [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThisIsADrill a drill] to kill somebody.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisproportionateRetribution Disproportionate Retribution]: Chris inflicts a horrible curse on the Jerkhief that results in the loss of the poor guy's family, home, and everything he owns. Why? As payback for an ''almost'' beating that Chris ''nearly'' suffered and richly deserved. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralDissonance This was supposed to be an awesome moral victory for Chris, who was meant to be the obvious hero in this situation.]
** In Sonichu 10, Chris and Sonichu attack the 4-cent_garbage.com Tower, an in-comic representation of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica, with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePowerOfRock The Power Of Rock] which causes the building to collapse, killing 100 of its workers and injuring another 150. Chris's following dialogue makes it clear that he thinks they deserved it, simply because they were making fun of him over the Internet.
** Likewise, in a (real life) situation where CChanSonichuCWC (AKA [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MetalGearSolid Liquid] Chris), a guy tricking Chris into thinking that people are confusing him and Chris, trolls Chris by having a girl named "Kacey" pretend to be conflicted in regards which guy she loves. Liquid tricks Chris into thinking that he has gotten Kacey to marry him (which was pretty easy considering how messed up poor Chris is). However, Chris responds by making a comic in which Liquid kidnaps Kacey and threatens Chris and Kacey with a small knife. So how does Chris respond? He ''pulls out a pistol and shoots Liquid (who has been disarmed at this point) in his calves.'' Kacey's parents ''are proud of him'' for doing this.
** A guy calls Meg Griffin a man. Chris gets upset. The guy calls Chris a woman. Chris punches him in the face. Not exactly someone with good self control...
** Based on rather flimsy evidence, they linked the creators of Asperchu to the murder of Simonla Rosechu. So what does Chris do? Have a show trial with an obviously biased judge, order the four to be executed and then kill them onscreen in the most brutal way possible, including the daughter of Simonla (who's mentally a fourth grader) ripping off all of Evan's limbs!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DistaffCounterpart Distaff Counterpart]: Crystal, Chris's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImaginaryFriend Dream Sibling].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DistressBall Distress Ball]: Rosechu carries this. A LOT.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DungeonMaster Dungeon Master]: Magi-Chan has elements of this kind of character. Despite being near omniscient and very powerful, he usually does little more than teleport other characters where they need to go and serve as comic's resident MrExposition.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Egopolis Egopolis]: CWCville=([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsPronouncedTroPAY pronounced "quickville"]), which is composed of the creator's initials, CWC, because everybody loves Chris.
** That's not even the half of it, the currency is named after him (C-Quarters, W-Quarters, and confusingly ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment C-QUARTERS]''), the only known radio station is KCWC, the drink of choice is CWC Cola, and the mayor's birthday is ''celebrated as a holiday'', under the name of ''Christian Love Day''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EnsembleDarkhorse Ensemble Darkhorse]: [[Yawning Squirtle]], a stoned-looking [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Pokemon Squirtle] who appears in only one panel in Episode 18, is widely considered to be CWC's best/only good character. [[List of Sonichu characters#Bill The Scientist|Bill the Scientist]] and the [[List of Sonichu characters#Boulder-Dropping Whale|Boulder-Dropping Whale]] are similar few-frame favorites.
** [[Kel]], Rosechu's original Trainer, is probably Chris's only original character, despite being yet another generic female and having only one sentence worth of character description (that she's a caring girl). She was all but forgotten after the first issue.
** Zapina is another character who isn't 100% slavishly derivative of another; while there is a trace of Amy Rose to her, the fact that she's part lightning bug shows a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun flash] of originality.
** Despite Sandy Rosechu's intended use as a giant "FUCK YOU" to Evan and the Asperpedia and otherwise fairly minor story presence thus far, the trolls' willingness to explore the psychological implications of having someone with the mentality of a fourth grader commit grisly murder has netted Sandy her own comic, ''Capering Berries''.
** Let's not forget [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DracoInLeatherPants Mary Lee Walsh].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EsotericHappyEnding Esoteric HappyEnding]: Chris thinks that the ''Sonichu 10'' ending was the great victory of the forces of good. The readers think it was one of the most disturbing things Chris ever created and perhaps the ultimate proof of his derangement.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingsBetterWithRainbows Everything's Better With Rainbows]: The rainbow formed from Sonichu's creation, which turned a Raichu into Rosechu and made eggs that would eventually hatch into the Chaotic Combo and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hermaphrodite Silvana]. After Chris realized that the rainbow was heavily associated with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/QueerAsTropes a certain group of people], he has since redrawn a gratuitously gay-looking page to instead have a slim, trim version of himself leaping in front of the Pearly Gates.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilIsPetty Evil Is Petty]: Mary Lee Walsh and the Jerkops have nothing better to do with their time than hindering Chris's progress in his love quest.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilTwin Evil Twin]: Played straight ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun heh]) with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SdrawkcabName Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc], who is the complete opposite of Chris, a member of Team Rocket who later came out of the closet.
** Also, Black Sonichu (later renamed Blake, to avoid looking racist), who is to Sonichu what Shadow is to Sonic, only even more annoying. He's since undergone a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeelFaceTurn Heel Face Turn], though.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilTowerOfOminousness Evil Tower Of Ominousness]: The 4-Cent Garbage Headquarters, all [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NumberOfTheBeast 66+6] floors of it.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExpansionPackPast Expansion Pack Past]: The Chaotic Combo were originally birthed by the rainbow created when Sonichu became a Sonic/Pikachu hybrid, in the late '90s, at the same time as Sonichu. Supposedly this created all the Sonichus at once, except then Chris started adding in more and more Sonichus, some of whom were said to be ''older'' than Sonichu or Rosechu. Of course, Chris only noticed the non-continuity error problem with this setup: all his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Rule34 Rule 34] pics were of underage characters. Thus, Chris dropped two retcons: one, that the Sonichu eggs were sent ''back in time'' so everyone was 18, and ''then'' retconned that ''countless'' Sonichu eggs were sent ''all throughout time and space.'' That poor, fragile timeline...
** Taken to extremes on CWCipedia, where Chris drops all manner of information that should have been obvious a long time ago (like Sonichu and Rosechu being married and having children) or dolloping loads of plot that bloats the already crossover-laden series like nothing else.
** You would think he could have just solved the underage problem by pointing out that Sonichus presumably ''do not mature and age at the same rate as humans''. They are hedgehogs, after all.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EyepatchOfPower Eyepatch Of Power]: Jason Kendrick Howell, which unfortunately means a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MetalGearSolid Big Boss] look-alike has been dragged into the comic. Howell actually [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit planned this], sending Chris a picture of Big Boss and telling him it was a photo of him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop Family Unfriendly Aesop]: If people are mean to you on the Internet, you can mass murder them, and celebrate their deaths by declaring a holiday.
** Reginald Sneasel subplot in ''Sonichu 9'': attempting to sabotage other people's relationships out of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GreenEyedMonster jealousy] is completely justified. ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsAllAboutMe That is, of course, unless you try to sabotage Christian's "relationships"] - [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|in which case you deserve to die]].) An even if you fail to break them up, don't worry, just delve into some public self-pitying and someone will hook up with you out of pity.
** Sub-Episodes: loitering in the store with the stated intent to bother female customers is A-OK. People who try to make you stop doing that are all [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KickTheDog autistic-kicking] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompleteMonster complete monsters] who want to prevent you from finding love and make you stay [[virgin with rage]] forever - and for that reason, it's OK to hurt them.
** People you (claim to) love are disposable and easily replaceable. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SkewedPriorities Your dog on the other hand...]
** Being gay makes you more evil than [[Beel|being Hitler's assistant]] or [[:File:Jason_Kendrick_Howell.jpg|keeping a sex slave]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fandom Fandom]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hatedom Inverted]. There has been literally only one person other than Chris to admit to actually liking ''Sonichu''. Even assuming it wasn't a troll, she certainly stopped after Chris publicly berated her.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanFicChopSuey Fan Fic Chop Suey]: Though it is mostly a combination of Pokemon and Sonic, random characters from completely unrelated franchises will inexplicably show up, from [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Futurama Richard Nixon's head-in-a-jar] to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Meg Griffin]] to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMays Billy Mays]. In recent issues, the Transformers have also shown up, albeit heavily plagiarized versions of the ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TransformersAnimated Transformers Animated]'' cast. ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBumblebee Bumba-Lumba?])
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FatalFlaw Fatal Flaw]: Just like in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life], despite [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GaryStu being such a fantastic guy that everyone loves], Chris just can't get a girl (which he blames on the "Infinitely High Boyfriend Factor", believing that the reason he can't find a Boyfriend-Free Girl is because they're all already taken, and the fact that his criteria for such a woman are improbably strict certainly doesn't help). And later on in the comic, he can't hold ''onto'' a girl. He's actually gone through about three or four gal pals since he entered the time void, although only two had appearances in the comic (and both said they would wait for him).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FetishRetardant Fetish Retardant]: Everything that is meant to be erotic, due to the sloppy coloring, terrible perspective, and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OffModel Off Model] nature of ''everything''...
** And if that doesn't do it, just remember: if it's meant to be erotic, Chris was masturbating to it when he drew it. That's a guarantee.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FiveManBand Five Man Band]: The <strike>Chaotix</strike> Chaotic Combo. Granted, they [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatCharacter don't have any personality], but let's classify them to our best:
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheHero The Hero]: Wild Sonichu
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLancer The Lancer]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSmartGuy The Smart Guy]: Magi-chan Sonichu
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBigGuy The Big Guy]: Punchy Sonichu
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheChick The Chick]: Both Bubbles and Angelica Rosechu
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForgottenFallenFriend Forgotten Fallen Friend]: Anytime anybody dies in the comic, their survivors take a panel or so to say "we've got to move on" and do just that. Possibly because the author is a borderline sociopath who does the same thing in real life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForTheEvulz For The Evulz]: All of the villains have little motivation towards tormenting Chris beyond "because." Apparently they just don't want him to find True Love. Virginia is for Virgins, after all.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudianExcuse Freudian Excuse]: <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> "Slaweel the Witch" hates love because she's a social outcast who isn't loved herself.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudWasRight Freud Was Right]: Two of the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Narm narmy] lines listed below, as well as the, um, ''interesting'' image of a pistol [[Jerkop|on this page]]. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, which makes Chris's constant [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today] assertions a bit awkward.
** He actually went back and redrew all scenes with the [[Straw|Drinking Straw of Fail]] to make it look less phallic.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FrozenInTime Frozen In Time]: The popularity of franchises, aspects, popular music, fads and toys within the comics and the subject's life seems to be stuck perpetually in 1999, the latest time it seems Chris had any semblance of a positive social life. The only modern thing about either aspect is that he is a PS3 fanboy and owns an HDTV, but it's doubtful he uses the latter to actually watch any high definition television programming. He also likes ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'' and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheClevelandShow The Cleveland Show]''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FurryFandom Furry Fandom]: After a fashion. Chris obviously enjoys sexualized anthropomorphic animals (and has even confessed that he might, under the right circumstances, have [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButYouScrewOneGoat sex with a dog]), but he doesn't belong to any community.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenNerdsHaveStandards Even Furries have standards], you know.
*[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenderBlenderName Gender Blender Name]: Kel is female, while Magi-Chan and Chris-Chan are both male (-''chan'' (ちゃん) is a mostly feminine Japanese suffix).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenerationXerox Generation Xerox]: [[Sandy Rosechu]], [[Simonla Rosechu]]'s daughter. Introduced as a way of keeping Simonla after killing her off.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodwinsLaw Godwin's Law]: Beel, a secretary for 4-cent garbage, was revealed to be an assistant for Hitler and is condemned to being a troll for all eternity. Chris tries to pull an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenEvilHasStandards Even Evil Has Standards] thing, but he makes it so Beel is angry at Jack and Clyde for being "homo trolls." Cue [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm Face Palm].
** Ironically, since Nazis also killed homosexuals, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlternativeCharacterInterpretation one could interpret Beel's disgust] as that of an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint unrepentant damned soul].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GratuitousJapanese Gratuitous Japanese]: Jiggliami's song "War of Love" (a ripoff of "Love is War" by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Vocaloid Miku Hatsune], "written" by one of Chris's "sweethearts") in Episode 18.
** Chris also has a tendency to refer to himself as "Chris-Chan." Please note that this is usually a ''feminine'' honorific.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GroinAttack Groin Attack]: Called 'Kicking them in the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism Sourdough Area]' in Chris terms. He does it to a Jerkop in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_0/Page_38 Subepisode 1], and is recommended by Chris as the ideal form of self-defense against both regular and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KingMook king-sized] Jerkops in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_4/Page_56 Sub-Episode 6].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GreekChorus Greek Chorus]: In some of the early, Sonichu-centered comics, Chris.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GreenEyedMonster Green Eyed Monster]: Chris is quite guilty of misandry, since he detests every other male on the planet (with a handful of exceptions) as a romantic rival. Wes Iseli in particular became a villain in the comic since he was dating Chris' friend Sarah, thus denying Chris a chance with her. His bizarre hatred of gay men makes even less sense, since they're ''clearly'' not rivals.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeelFaceTurn Heel Face Turn]: <strike>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnfortunateImplications Black Sonichu]<strike> <strike>Blachu</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon Blake].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hermaphrodite Hermaphrodite]: Silvana. And before you ask, yes, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleThirtyFour Rule 34 art] of Silvana exists.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeroicSociopath Heroic Sociopath]: Whether it's cursing a security guard because of an almost-beating or shooting out the kneecaps of <strike>the impostor</strike> the TRUE AND HONEST CWC.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighOctaneNightmareFuel High Octane Nightmare Fuel]: Chris drawing each of the members of the Asperpedia being brutally tortured and executed in gory detail. The childish art just serves to make it even more unsettling.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HonorBeforeReason Honor Before Reason]: The supposed villain <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> Slaweel Ryam, of all people. In ''Sonichu 10'', right before her final battle with Chris, she decided not to rely on Count Graduon's help and only fight Chris with her own powers; she even allowed Chris to destroy Graduon's wand. Needless to say, Chris didn't even think about returning the favor and reverting back from his SuperMode; the result was a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CurbStompBattle Curb Stomp Battle] ending with Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FateWorseThanDeath paralyzing Slaweel].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiotPlot Idiot Plot]: Conceptualized, written and drawn by one Idiot Author.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdolSinger Idol Singer]: Jiggliami.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IJustWantMyBelovedToBeHappy I Just Want My Beloved To Be Happy]: Chris claimed this with Kacey and Liquid, until the next day when he saw that wouldn't work and made a video proclaiming that "SHE IS MINE NOW!!!"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKEAErotica IKEA Erotica]: Rosechu actually says "Insert Rod A into Slot B" before sex with Sonichu. It's intended to be erotic, apparently.
** This is actually a joke he stole from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'' and taken out of context. The original joke was actually the page quote for the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKEAErotica IKEA Erotica] page. Either Chris tried to add humor to the sex or he [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint completely missed the point of the joke in the first place].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKnowMortalKombat I Know Mortal Kombat]: Jiggliami's manager, Blanca, who also plays "lead [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuitarHero Guitar Hero]" for her. It's not entirely clear whether she plays an actual guitar and plays ''Guitar Hero'' on the side for practice ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IDontKnowMortalKombat which, as many will attest, doesn't work]), or if all she can play is ''Guitar Hero'' (which makes it all the more difficult to believe she and Jiggliami are huge pop stars).
** It may have to do with Chris' apparent belief that being good at ''Guitar Hero'' gives him actual musical ability.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsBeenDone It's Been Done]: When someone asked about Chris willfully stealing gags from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SouthPark South Park]'', ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'', and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSimpsons The Simpsons]'', he said (and this is an exact quote): "taking jokes is of acceptable practice; it works when the author is short on original jokes, and wants to fill in a good one. Everybody does it. 'Simpsons Did It.'" Note that he's quoting an episode of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SouthPark South Park]'' where Butters kept accidentally recapping episodes of ''TheSimpsons''. Key word: '''Accidentally.''' Chris has taken this as carte blanche to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint have no original humor anywhere in his comic].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun Incredibly Lame Pun]: The "Anchuent Prophecy" was originally believed to be a simple typo, until someone realized it was meant to be a pun on Soni'''chu'''. And lo, there was much [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm facepalming].
** Lovely Weather, Chris's "future wife".
*** Lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrokenRecord Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NonSequitur Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger Lovely Weather for a sleigh ride together with...]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InferredHolocaust Inferred Holocaust] / [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoEndorHolocaust No Endor Holocaust] / [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatMeasureIsAMook What Measure Is A Mook]: We are told that the Jerkops swell their numbers using a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HypnoRay hypnotic ray gun] that only affects the mentally impaired. That's kind of offensive on its own, but it also means that when the heroes do battle with them, they're actually beating the hell out of innocent, retarded people. No character has thus far seen fit to raise this dilemma.
** In issue 9, one mention is finally made of the idea of rehabilitating. The characters still beat the brainwashed Jerkops just as mercilessly, however, so nothing has changed in that regard.
** As of issue 10, all of the Jerkops have been rehabilitated by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuperMode Ultra Sonichu].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InformedAbility Informed Ability]: Punchy is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllThereInTheManual apparently] a master of "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NonSequitur random-access humor]," but, as of the end of Sonichu 10, has never used it.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritersCannotDoMaths "I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"] Not so much if you thought that 4 billionth of a percent of 3 billion was 100.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InformedAttractiveness Informed Attractiveness]: Kel calls Rosechu "as beautiful as a rose."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InformedAttribute Informed Attribute]: All of the Rosechus in this comic only act as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SatelliteCharacter Satellite Character] for their respective Sonichu and play up rather outdated female archetypes. In [[Mailbag 7#The Rosechus are totally diverse and stuff|Mailbag #7]] he assigned each of them personalities (one even said to be a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tomboy Tomboy]) which are never even hinted at in the comics.
** Chris must really like this trope; when [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll his fans]] point out that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatCharacter his characters lack personalit]] and that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StrangledByTheRedString he forces characters into poorly written relationships], he simply responds with something like "[[Mailbag_46|My characters Have Personality]]" or "[[Mailbag_52|they both knew that they were just meant to be together. Take it at face value]]" and doesn't even bother to elaborate on this (never mind doing something crazy, like ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell actually showing this in the comic]'').
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InTheHood In The Hood]: Jason Kendrick Howell conceals his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EyepatchOfPower Eyepatch Of Power] with a voluminous cloak.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InTheNameOfTheMoon In The Name Of The Moon]: Chris and his "dream sibling" Crystal often announce their status of warriors of love and honesty, while [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SailorMoon Sailor Megtune] is fond of these speeches as well.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Jossed Jossed]: Chris attempted to disprove [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Moon-Pals a popular fan theory that Yawning Squirtle, Boulder-Dropping Whale and Bill The Scientist are trapped on the Moon with their friends (Metal Sonichu, Kel, Allison Amber and large amounts of weed, among others)], claiming that Squirtle and Whale were caught by Pokémon trainers and showing Bill working as a doctor in CWCville. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll Christian's fans], however, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Discontinuity generally disregarded this development].
** Some trolls suspected that Lovely Weather, Christian's "future wife" from ''Sonichu 10'', was based on his ex-sweetheart "The Wallflower", but Chris claimed that wasn't the case.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KamehameHadoken Kamehame Hadoken]: Christian's "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]," which is tragically performed in real life in a non-parodical manner.
** [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|He even used it to curse (real life) Mary Lee Walsh...]] [[Jackie e-mails#Chris got his degree for Cwcville|and he apparently did it in her presence, while she was giving him a stern lecture in her office]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KangarooCourt Kangaroo Court]: The Asperpedia trolls' trial in the ''Sonichu 10'' finale, complete with a clearly biased judge and crappy defence attorney.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KudzuPlot Kudzu Plot]: Not a traditional example of this, because the story isn't really all that complex, but people who read both the comic and have followed the real-life drama probably can't help but feel that there's just no way Chris can tie up the trolling-inspired plot threads into anything resembling a comprehensible whole. (''If'' Chris bothers at all, that is.) Thus far, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMays Billy Mays] was introduced as Chris's "bodyguard" out of the blue (never seen before, likely never to be seen again), one "galpal"'s house got blown up with no good explanation, and the readers are supposed to be ''on the edge of their seats'' and ''thrilled'' to find out how Chris will handle the Ivy plotline now that she's gone and he has gone through ''one more'' girlfriend in real life. But never worry! Chris apparently solved all of the plotholes by bringing in ''Transformers''.
** And Ivy has been confirmed as to be HUNG by elevator wires!
*** Kudzu Plot meets the machete.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LampshadeHanging Lampshade Hanging]: Quoth Mary Lee Walsh, "Eh... first we've had the parodic transformations, now we actually have a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SailorMoon pretty girl sailor soldier]? [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement What a kooky world]."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LazyArtist Lazy Artist]: Particularly in recent comics, Chris often skimps on actual ''drawing'' in his comic. Many pages just consist of characters ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FloatingHeadSyndrome bodies often optional]) floating in white space surrounded by [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallOfText a fortress of text] describing scenes he didn't feel like showing the viewers. His justification is that [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Mailbag_19 other comics have "loads of dialogue" and that doing it this way saves marker ink].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LegionOfDoom Legion Of Doom]: In issue 7, all the previous villains (excluding [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatHappenedToTheMouse Metal Sonichu]) [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainTeamUp team up] and try to take over CWCville.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LegoGenetics Lego Genetics]: Chris apparently believes that homosexuality is genetic, and during his stay in the time void, his comic self donated some of his "untainted straight blood" for the creation of an anti-gay vaccine, which he intends to use to wipe homosexuality off the face of the Earth. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailBiologyForever You Fail Biology Forever] is an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger understatement].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LifeEmbellished Life Embellished]: 90% of the comic, especially the sub-episodes. And because it's life ''embellished'', Chris gets to win his fights and explain why he's right and his enemies wrong.
** Chris has, as of the end of issue 9, promised to not include anything from his real life in future issues. The claim remains dubious since Chris is not exactly known for being humble, and he seems to have no plans of getting rid of his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar]. He broke his promise starting with the very first page of the next issue, which once again revolved arond him getting revenge on those who've 'wronged' him in real life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LimitedWardrobe Limited Wardrobe]: Chris is almost exclusively depicted in his "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SesameStreet Ernie] Shirt."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Loads And Loads Of Characters]: There are [[List_of_Sonichu_characters|tons]] of characters in this comic, all of which are either characters from different [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Canon canons], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz poor rip-offs] of characters from different canons, or people from real-life who have the misfortune to find themselves in CWCville.
**As of Issue 10 there are 174 characters in the series.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Lolicon Lolicon]: Zapina, who "[[Zapina|just turned 14-years cute]]," wants to pose nude for women's rights just like all the other female characters, but in a bizarre inversion of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThereShouldBeALaw There Should Be A Law] can't because of those "dumb" laws. Bonus [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick squick] points for the "dumb laws" comment being made by one of the ''adult'' characters, not Zapina.
** Villain Jason Howell is portrayed as having a leashed 17-year-old girlfriend/slave with whom he does things "illegal in all 50 states." Mostly this is a case of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch Did Not Do The Research], because in most American states, the age of consent is 16 or 17. Though since owning a slave is illegal, technically anything you do to her is likely illegal.
** In a possible subversion, "Lolisa" Rosechu is the oldest Rosechu at age 20.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin MacGuffin]: The seven Sonichu Balls (<strike>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IThoughtItMeant not what you're thinking], though Sonichu's genitalia are examined in worrisome detail in issue #8</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudWasRight exactly what you're thinking]), reminiscent of the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DragonBall Dragon Balls] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Chaos Emeralds]. Their full powers have yet to be explored, and though it was likely they would have be used to bring Chris back from his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus bus trip], even this theory proves incorrect as Magi-chan simply brings Chris back with his generously used powers. It turns out they make [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sues] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoreThanInfinite even more Godlike].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsNotAVirgin A Man Is Not A Virgin]: Averted. As in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life], the comic version of Chris is fully committed to his "Love Quest", and isn't shy about declaring to the world that he is still a virgin. A [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnstoppableRage Virgin With Rage], to be precise.
** Subverted: In Sonichu 10, he has sex with his ''future wife'', having mistaken him for the Chris she married.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySuetopia Mary Suetopia]: CWCville, where all benefit from the wise and magnanimous rule of Christian Weston Chandler. "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoSmoking Tobacky]" and alcohol are banned, though the mayor has eventually abandoned his principles and gotten on the booze.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePiratesWhoDontDoAnything The Mayor Who Doesn't Do Anything]: Despite being CWCville's mayor, Chris delegates his duties to assistant, former movie star [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexySecretary Allison] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HypercompetentSidekick Amber] (who quit her glamorous film career to pursue her life-long dream of doing menial labour for an insane manchild), leaving him free to loiter around business as part of his Love Search or fight the forces of evil.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MediumBlending Medium Blending]: Several comics feature stills of Chris in place of the drawn version interacting with drawn characters. Unfortunately it's as seamless as it was in ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CoolWorld Cool World]'', but even more awkward and creepy as he either brings his dog back to life through artwork or performs a horrible self-penned ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PowerRangers Power Rangers]''-inspired song with his characters reconfigured into a circa-1999 [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BoyBand Boy Band]. The pictures are ill-posed in addition to make Chris seem even more out of place.
** Not to mention he actually confesses right out a shirt picked to wear for one of the scenes "was in the laundry pile."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MemeticMutation Memetic Mutation]: How the comic and its creator became "famous" amongst the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageBoard Image Board] crowd, and, like a virus, has now spread to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropes TV Tropes].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MindScrew Mind Screw]: Basically the entire comic, albeit unintentionally.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MisaimedFandom Misamimed Fandom]: The comics are aimed at [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids kids and teenagers], yet contain gratuitous sex scenes and often center around Chris's personal life and problems, things that kids don't need to see and wouldn't be interested in, respectively. Beyond that, almost the entirety of his audience is made up of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageBoard Image Board] trolls, which is even sadder considering how frequently Chris tries to appeal to his "true and loyal fanbase", which doesn't even exist.
** One troll tactic was to try to give Chris the impression that Sonichu had acquired a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MisaimedFandom Misaimed Fandom] [[Gay_4_Sonichu|in the gay community]]. A [[User:Champthom/Paper|fake paper]] was also written, detailing the supposed homosexual [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Subtext subtext] of Sonichu. Christian Weston Chandler is a [[Homos|raging homophobe with strong hints of "self-hating closet case"]], so it shouldn't be hard for you to imagine [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilarityEnsues how he reacted].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MismatchedEyes Mismatched Eyes]: Chris, both in the comics and in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life], although the comic severely exaggerates this trait. Naitsirhc, being (at least in theory) Chris's opposite, has a red right and orange left eye.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoodWhiplash Mood Whiplash]: "Panda died! Boo hoo for 2 frames! Let's go kick some Transformer ass like nothing happened!" A weird example of the trope in that the characters have an uncanny ability to completely forget that something absolutely awesome or something devastatingly tragic happened. It's as if the ''characters'' didn't notice the change of the mood in the situations.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralDissonance Moral Dissonance]: As noted above, the Jerkops are made up, at least in part, of people under mind control. It is never implied that the heroes attempt to break this control or even that they feel remorse over having to pulverise innocents (''mentally deficient'' innocents, no less).
** He blows up a building that offered free webservice because they didn't have good enough security features, then collapses another full of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkAss Jerk Asses] because they were mean to him. He brushes off these things or celebrates them.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Moral Event Horizon]: Alec and crew kill Simonla, and in response they are put through what can be best described as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JokerJury Joker Jury] before being found guilty and sentenced by the judge [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HollywoodLaw all at the same hearing, without the jury being given any time to deliberate]. They are then sentenced to an execution where [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AFeteWorseThanDeath just about every character in the comic who was ever portrayed positively takes part in a wrathful execution of the whole bunch, involving mutilation and children taking part]. We're then treated to a speech written by Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo in which he berates everyone for fighting about anything and talks about how his birthday will solve everything bad in the world ever].
** While the final scene was unquestionably the most disgusting and horrible, it wasn't the Moral Event Horizon; that came much earlier when Chris destroyed a building full of innocent people and killed about 100 of them for making fun of him on the internet, made even worse by the fact that up until that point [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThouShaltNotKill the characters of the comic didn't kill their enemies]. The torture scene was awful, but by that point the characters were already irredeemable.
*** Right after that there was an intended example, where [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Meg Griffin] (who Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PerverseSexualLust has a crush on]) gushes over Chris and even kisses him, but is then revealed to be Silvana. It doesn't work, though, due to all of the comic's supposed antagonists being more likable than the heroes.
** A lot of the things the ''real'' Chris has said, talked about, and even spoken about can evoke this. One could say that him drawing porn of Megan is this (Chris says that he had to do it, or ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeAsDrama he could have possibly went too far]''), ''laughing at 9/11'', and wishing the deaths of all the people who troll him. Suffice to say, the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] is only ''marginally'' worse, it's ''even worse'' when you consider that ''the comic is his own sick [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment]''.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment]? He actually believes that fiction exists in a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Who Framed Roger Rabbit]-esque dimension. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeHorror Which means...] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint he ruined] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WildMassGuessing Wild Mass Guessing] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuinedForever FOREVER]!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostCommonSuperPower Most Common Super Power]: Mary Lee Walsh has this not just in fanart, but in the later issues as well.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsASlut My Girl Is A Slut]: Pretty much ''every single goddamn Rosechu in this comic.'' When they're not out shopping, they're either having sex or stripping "for women's rights." And let's not even get into "Rage Against the Garbage"...
|}

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Tropes from the comic: N-Z
|-
|
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Narm Narm]: "Well, after eating my eight daily McNuggets, I'm ready to pull out my Attraction Sign and get a Boyfriend-Free Girl". ''Among so many, many others''.
** Episode 14 contains these two awesomely out-of-context lines: "My two balls!" and "I cannot be deprived of my balls."
** Episode 6: "Ow! I hurt in three places!"
** [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler/Page_2 Simonla's death scene] was particularly hilarious. She died from an ''exploding toilet.''
** The scene from ''Sonichu 10'' where [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_39 Chris yells "I AM A MAN!" and punches a guy] is quite narmy in itself thanks to being badly drawn (even by Christian's usual standards) as well as being a part of obvious author's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment], but it's also made unintentionally funny when you notice its (probably not intended) similarity to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AtopTheFourthWall certain reviewer's] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CatchPhrase Catch Phrase].
** "[[You know what, I HATE ME TOO!!!|I set my ASS ON FIRE!]]"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NarmCharm Narm Charm]: Barely qualifies. Some parts contain enough [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RougeAnglesOfSatin typos] and awful dialogue to evoke the awesomeness that is ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/HalfLifeFullLifeConsequences Half Life Full Life Consequences]'', but not enough to really make the comic enjoyable on its own.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NamesTheSame Name's The Same]: Crystal Weston Chandler the "dream sibling" of Chris, and Crystal Weston Chandler the divinely-ordained future daughter of Chris, as revealed by God and Jesus in his dreams. The trolls are having a field day with the Freudian implications of all this.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel Nightmare Fuel]: The Giant Penis Comic, and the rest of Chris' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Rule34 Rule 34] artwork.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuelColoringBook Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book]: All of Chris' art looks like one of these. He draws at the level of an eight year old, but depicts everything from disembowelment to finger-fucking.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NonIndicativeName Non Indicative Name]: The Chaotic Combo does not produce chaos on a regular basis. Magi-chan is a <strike>psychic</strike> walking [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeusExMachina Deus Ex Machina], not a magician or wizard. Bionic the Hedgehog is 100% organic; he is not a cyborg, an android, or a robot. Collosal-chan is no bigger than Christian unless you consider obesity equivalent to size. Super Chris-chan Sonichu is just Chris-chan Sonichu with some wing hairclips on. We still have no idea what Merried Senior Comic is supposed to even ''mean''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotRightInTheBed Not Right In The Bed]: This is how Bubbles Rosechu discovers her lover is really resident shapeshifting hermaphrodite Silvana, except it happened during ''public'' sex...
** They never really got around to the sex. But this is still after an all-powerful psychic warned her that it was a trap. And after the creation of Chris's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GirlOfTheWeek Girl Of The Week] found the real Blake and called to warn her.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OffhandBackhand Offhand Backhand]: Done by Chris to a Jerkop in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_0/Page_38 Sub-Episode 1].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OffModel Off Model]: The character designs are barely consistent. Case in point: a Jerkop that went from square to spherical ''within the same page''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou The Only One Allowed To Defeat You]: Sonichu saves <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> Slaweel Ryam's life in episode 20 because "the final blow belongs to Christian." <strike>Seeing as how he claims he's being [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus Put On A Bus] for good, that blow will never come.</strike> Chris returned immediately, had a heart-to-heart talk with Slaweel, learned about her [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudianExcuse Freudian Excuse], declared he'll never forgive her anyway and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment beat her up], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FateWorseThanDeath paralyzing her in the process].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneMan Only Sane Man]: Perhaps unintentionally, Magi-Chan appears to be the only sane resident of CWCville, as he just doesn't seem to care about "sweethearts".
** Because he knows the future and knows he'll end up with Silvana. Which may indicate he's just surrendered to the madness.
*** Chris stated [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllThereInTheManual in the CWCipedia article about Magi-Chan] that he and Silvana are already in love. And because Chris doesn't like to waste time on building his characters' relationships, in the future issues of ''Sonichu'' the two will almost certainly be shown as being a couple already.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OrphanedSeries Orphaned Series]: If not one already, then at least speedily headed that way, or so many [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fans] believe; the comic hasn't seen any substantial updates in months (we'd call it a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScheduleSlip Schedule Slip] if Chris had ever actually had a schedule), and it's clear to many people that, now that he is out of school, jobless, living at home, and has little reason left to even leave his room (having successfully managed to get himself banned from almost any place in his small town he considers worth visiting), Chris, along with his deteriorating health, is rapidly becoming lazier than ever; in March 2010, he made a particularly nasty post on his [[CWC Blog|blog]] viciously lashing out at [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Trolls fans] who dared suggest that he consider updating the comic, strongly indicating that even drawing the comic, the one mildly non-passive activity he seems to have ever somewhat enjoyed, is looking more and more like work to him. Combine this with the fact that he has recently [[100 2188|officially relinquished the CWCipedia]] (the site where he used to post the comic), and chances of any updates in the foreseeable future look more and more remote.
** The series has been picked up by Vivian and Alec and have claimed Sonichu as their own due to the way Chris filled out the copyright form which left a loophole. Sonichu Series 2 is currently getting daily updates.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OrwellianEditor Orwellian Editor]: Chris has gone back to earlier comics and changed the names of characters based off of real life people. Mary Lee Walsh was given a new name and he denies that she was based on his college dean, but that the character was meant an evil clone of her... or something. Which was never mentioned at all in the originals, of course.
** In point of fact, his retcon was that the character in the comic is the "original" Mary Lee Walsh (and, in particular, the Dean of his college) who was replaced, ''in the real world'', by a good counterpart. Yes, rather than retconning just in the comic, he retcons real life.
** Made more baffling when he thinks he can solve the "copyright" problems around Simonla Rosechu by stating a retraction and claiming that Simonchu wasn't the source of inspiration.
** Also, he edited a comment in the mailbag section about the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The original comment was "Let Obama repeal the policy, then the homos can go die in explosions," and he changed it to something less offensive after backlash ensued.
*** The preservation of Chris's... "antics" seems to be one big reason the CWCki exists.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PainfulRhyme Painful Rhyme]: "[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]" uses lance/radiance, and the more obvious tweet/''heartsweet''. Groan.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PairTheSpares Pair The Spares]: When Layla and Punchy hook up, Reginald (who'd had a crush on Layla) and Angelica (who Punchy use to have a crush on) follow suit... after Reginald ''tells Angelica how he tried to sabotage Layla and Punchy hooking up and she decided he was justified in doing so.''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PalsWithJesus Pals With Jesus]: Both God and Jesus (aka GodJesus) have appeared in-comic to congratulate Ivy on being Chris' future mate. Since Ivy was a troll, this raises some [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodIsEvil interesting theological questions].
** So Chris thinks he's Christ? ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun Get it?])
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PantyShot Panty Shot]: Later episodes have a lot of shots of Rosechu's panties, one of which even got Chris banned from [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeviantART DeviantART] the second time. Presumably intended as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanService Fan Service], but Rosechu's questionable age and furriness combined with Chris' terrible art make it [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FetishRetardant Fetish Retardant] instead.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParodyRetcon Parody Retcon]: Chris believes that calling his comic a parody will allow him to make money off it. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch Yeah]. Even though it doesn't really parody either ''Sonic'' or ''Pokémon'' (or any of the other countless shows it references) so much as it slavishly imitates them when Chris isn't [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wangst wangsting] about his nonexistent love life. Evidence suggests that Chris doesn't even know what a parody is, and thinks of it as just a magic word he can use to stave off lawsuits.
** It's worth mentioning that pretty much all "fan" creations are true [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SatireParodyPastiche parodies/satires], and Chris gets riled up when someone makes a parody of ''his'' (non-original) work.
** He made his version of characters from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' who are based on characters on Sonichu who are "parodies" of Pikachu and Sonic, making it a case of a parody of a parody of a parody.
*** Then the ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' comics parodied that, so now we have parodies of parodies of parodies of parodies. Whew!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoesLaw Poe's Law]: Many optimists out there refuse to believe that Sonichu and its creator aren't just elaborate satires of fanfic culture, so-much-so that the [[Frequently Asked Questions|CWCki specifically addresses the issue in its FAQ]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FurryConfusion Pokémon Confusion]: Your average CWCville Pokémon has about a 50/50 chance of being either a regular Pokémon or a humanoid Poké-person with clothes and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NonMammalMammaries Non Mammal Mammaries].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Plagiarism Plagiarism]: All of the jokes in Sonichu are lifted verbatim from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'', ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExcelSaga Excel Saga]'', ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MontyPython Monty Python]'' and various [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdultSwim Adult Swim] shows. Bonus fail points for often reproducing them without the context that made them funny. Many of the drawings are actually traced from other images - which is pretty surprising, because one would expect traced artwork to, you know, ''look as good as the original artwork.'' No such luck here.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotHole Plot Hole]: Chris eventually makes it "legal for all homosexuals to do as they please within the city", unaware that just a few pages before, he "cured" homosexuality.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotRelevantAgeUp Plot Relevant Age Up]: The daughter of Wild and Simonla transformed from a [[Sonee & Rosey|Rosey]] into [[Sandy Rosechu]] and gained intellectual abilities of a fourth-grader in a mere week since her birth (just in time to participate in Asperpedia trolls' execution). In retrospect, this event - clearly proving that Sonichus and Rosechus don't age at the same rate as people do - makes Christian's decision to age them all up to 18 even more pointless.
** This also has [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnfortunateImplications interesting implications] for [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheScrappy Sonichu's and Rosechu's kids], which, by contrast, haven't matured since at least ''Sonichu 9''. If Chris is to be believed, happiness and friendship influence evolution of Sonichus and Rosechus. Sandy, despite losing her mother, apparently was happy enough to reach her next [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvolutionaryLevels evolutionary level] in a week; CWCki people were quick to point out that it indicates that Sonichu's and Rosechu's kids don't evolve because they are very unhappy, most likely because [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbusiveParents Sonichu and Rosechu are unbelievably bad parents].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PottyFailure Potty Failure]: Happens to Reldnahc once. Also to Chris himself, as his bad health has given him slight fecal incontinence, and he's not at all ashamed to admit that he does this.
** On that spoiler, there is some linkage between autism and lack of bowel control. I'm not sure if it's only correlational, but I do believe I heard this somewhere.
*** It was revealed that Chris's awfully bad nutrition (never drinks water, never eats fresh fruit or fresh vegetables, lives off nothing but fast food, soda and assorted candy) are the source of his digestive problems and chronical constipation/fecal incontinence. His erratic behavior is also worsened by all the sugar and caffeine present on his diet.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePowerOfRock The Power Of Rock]: Used to demolish the 4-Cent Garbage building by, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer believe it or not], using ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuitarHero Guitar Hero]''/''Rock Revolution'' instruments to sing a song about how much better ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PowerRangers Power Rangers]'' used to be, sung to the tune of ''Cat Scratch Fever''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PowerTrio Power Trio]: Subverted. Chris, Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli were destined to stop the evil Count Graduon, but Chris wrote both of them out of the comic after he met Megan.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ProductPlacement Product Placement]: And he's not even ''paid'' to endorse products.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ProtagonistCenteredMorality Protagonist Centered Morality]: Did you "wrong" Chris in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life]? It doesn't matter what your intentions were, you'll be portrayed as a love-hating, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KickTheDog autistic-kicking] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll troll] in his comic!
** This has gotten so ridiculous that the heroes have actually committed much worse actions than the villains, but the villains are portrayed as unquestionably evil for the simple fact that Chris doesn't like them.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ProtectionFromEditors Protection From Editors]: A fundamental part of what makes Chris and his comic so infamous - everything he writes and draws goes online practically unfiltered, resulting in several mailbag complaints, retcons and backhanded apologies, many of which would not have been necessary in the first place if Chris had bothered to recruit an editor. The CWCipedia's SysOp is essentially the closest thing Chris has to an editor, but usually her notes to Chris come far after the damage has already been done.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychicPowers Psychic Powers]: Magi-Chan, complete with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PstandardPsychicPstance Pstandard Psychic Pstances].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PunchClockVillain Punch Clock Villain]: In real life, "Jerkops" (mall security) are just doing their jobs, though in-universe they're explicitly evil and hate love, and especially despise virgins like Chris.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus Put On A Bus]: Several. Metal Sonichu is still up on the moon, waiting for his comeback; chances are, Chris has forgotten about him completely. Sarah Hammer, aka Saramah Rosechu, disappeared from the comic after she got married to <strike>Jack's Knight</strike> William Spicer. Chris's dream sister, Crystal Weston Chandler was removed when she was trapped in the "dark mirror" by Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon. All the characters promised to go and rescue her, but the next comic was about them going on spring break and having lots of sex, and Crystal hasn't been mentioned again until Chris goes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sue] and ties up the loose ends as quickly as possible. Jiggliami and Blanca were shooed off the comic after Chris's breakup with Blanca (a troll in disguise), with a footnote explaining that Jiggliami went away and had a successful career. Christian himself was removed for a brief period of time after he was lost in the time void. Then he came back, and left again, explicitly announcing that he won't be back and is going to leave the story to its title character.
** [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 He broke his promise on the very first page of Issue 10.] Then again, the entire issue is basically Chris taking a machete to the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KudzuPlot Kudzu Plot].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABusToHell Put On A Bus To Hell]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BusCrash Bus Crash]: Chris's real-life "sweethearts" who all just so happen to die (such as PandaHalo or Ivy) are memorialized in the comics by ''dying even more horrible deaths.'' Chris seems to think that since they died in real life, it's his duty to replicate and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible exaggerate] their gruesome demises in the comic. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger And yet his dead dog is still a recurring character.]
** Chris attempted to justify this by claiming that if the women had come to him, he might have kept them alive in the comic.
*** Which, since they did die in real life as far as Chris knows, is physically impossible. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger Until you realize Chris believes people who go to Heaven when they die can come back whenever they want.]
** Then he took out two of his enemy characters not through an honorable fight, but having them realize homosexuality is wrong, that Chris was right, and suddenly be content to commit suicide by jumping down their building's 72-story elevator shaft (which is 72 floors because the building which contained evil was [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NumberOfTheBeast 66+6 floors tall]. Obviously, making it 666 feet tall wouldn't have been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic logical]). Never mind that there are so many better options to change their ways besides death.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale Rape Is Okay When It's Female On Male]: Rosechu's heroic "face-rape" of Jason Kendrick Howell, a clear victory for the forces of good.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLifeWritesThePlot Real Life Writes The Plot]: Interfere with Chris' love quest or troll him hard enough, and you too could appear in an issue of ''Sonichu'' to be beaten up by mutant hedgehogs.
** Throughout January and February 2010 he was repeatedly ordered to kill Simonla Rosechu because she was based on Asperpedia contributor Evan's character, and Evan didn't want her in the comic anymore. After persistently refusing, Chris lost his site. He then decided to finally [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Guest_Comic_By_Christopher_Christian_Ricardo_Weston_Chandler/Page_2 kill Simonla] in order to get his site back. After her [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Narm death scene], Magi-Chan stated that he knew who killed Simonla. And what a surprise - turns out that Asperpedia trolls were behind it. So Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DethroningMomentOfSuck has them all tortured] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon to death].
*** Also, he immediately weaseled out of Simonla's death by introducing her nearly-identical daughter to the comic. Since that's just ''another'' gender-flipped version of Simonchu (who thanks to the additional spines, actually looks ''more'' like Simonchu than Simonla did), we can probably expect the site to get shut down again pretty soon.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon Retcon]: Several. Chris changed the names of characters who are based on real people, because a troll posing as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShigeruMiyamoto Shigeru Miyamoto] tricked him into it. Chris has independently changed names and drawings he feared could be viewed as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HoYay homosexual subtext], most noticeably a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SplashPanel Splash Panel] which has been entirely redrawn due to its original rainbow background, and several drawings of a Raichu were redrawn to change the shape of its tail, proving Rosechu evolved from a female Raichu to alleviate [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ViewerGenderConfusion Viewer Gender Confusion]. CWCki has a more in-depth list of retcons [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|here]].
** The funny thing about the Rosechu issue is that he could have just said that the design of Rosechu was before most Pokemon had distinctions between genders (the exceptions being the Nidorans).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RougeAnglesOfSatin Rouge Angles Of Satin] ''and'' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma Wanton Cruelty To The Common Comma]: Both in the comic itself and in anything else he writes. Even though he types out his comic's dialogue, he doesn't bother to spell-check, so some rather terrible typos slip through - even though he has had no trouble whatsoever going back and altering captions and dialogue for the sake of retconning (and when he does, he neglects to fix his typos along with it). He also has a tendency in written correspondence to go ALLCAPS or Randomly Capitalize Words for no Reason Whatsoever.
**He even has a character named '''Merried Seinor Comic'''.
** It is "last rites," NOT "last rights."
** My favorite recurring Sonichu typo is "dood" for "good."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleThirtyFour Rule 34]: Not only does the creator make 34 of his own characters (and people he knows from real life) and upload it to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] in "protest" of the site, but his "fans" are also more than willing to draw their own.
** Chris sometimes even encourages his "fans" to draw 34 for him, including one instance where he demanded that a troll draw a picture of Rosechu "masturbatin' and squirtin'" to make up for [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SlashFic slash art] of himself and Sonichu.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningTheAsylum Running The Asylum]: Apparently after finishing ''Sonichu 10'' Chris decided that playing video games and raging against CWCki is more interesting than updating his comic, and thus he stopped updating it. At the end of April 2010 his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll TRUE and HONEST fans] realized that if they want to see new issues they have to draw them themselves - which they did, and then found a way to make the CWCipedia Sysop upload them to Christian's wiki. So far the fans' run resulted in the deaths of Bubbles, Sandy, Wild and Sonichu's and Rosechu's kids (and technically also Angelica, though apparently she got better), Sonichu and Rosechu breaking up and Christian's Sonic recolors finally realizing that the mayor of CWCville is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement somewhat incompetent]. Sadly Chris couldn't stand someone writing and drawing better than he does and removed fan-created pages.
** At the end of May 2010 Vivian Gee took control of CWCipedia and started uploading her new comic "Sonichu Season 2" to the wiki.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SailorEarth Sailor Earth]: [[Sailor Megtune]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScheduleSlip Schedule Slip]: It only took Chris six days to start slipping when he finally set up a regular schedule for himself after Kacey and her father told him off for being such a slacker - before that, updates could come any number of months apart, and it apparently took several years to finish the first issue after Sonichu's inception. Even so, Chris plans his comics far in advance (with previews for forthcoming issues already available), so he really has no reason for his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScheduleSlip Schedule Slips] other than being a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LazyArtist Lazy Artist].
** After being called out on his Schedule slips several times, Chris wrote a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterFilibuster Character Filibuster] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_98 that says he doesn't need one.] And later he wrote an entire rant on this subject, claiming (among other things) [[CWC Blog#March 2010|that Honest, True and Loyal fans are as bad as trolls and Mary Lee Walsh if they want him to update his comic regularly]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheScrappy The Scrappy]: Sonichu and Rosechu's kids. [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|To quote CWCki]]: "The children are widely hated by everybody. Even more so than the other characters". ''This'' is saying '''a lot'''.
** They also have slight hints of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWesley The Wesley] in them, since Chris-chan seems to favor them and think they are adorable, but then, he thinks all of his characters are good, so the only difference between the Sonees and Rosees and all the others is that the babies are just hated more.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ScrewLearningIHavePhlebotinum Screw Learning I Have Phlebotinum]: Somehow, getting smacked with a powered-up hedgehog or a rainbow instantly gives wild rodents the ability to talk and reason like humans.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SdrawkcabName Sdrawkcab Name]: Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SealedEvilInACan Sealed Evil In A Can]: Count Graduon, the oddly named evil spirit defeated long ago by the Cherokee and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CriticalResearchFailure Wasabi] tribes.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SecretRelationship Secret Relationship]: Bubbles and Blake keep their relationship a secret because... well, it's never really stated.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SelfDeprecation Self Deprecation]: Chris has (likely unintentionally) done this a couple of times, as in one scene where Sonichu thinks to himself that Chris's love quest is doomed to failure, and another where Rosechu, having just been informed that Chris has a date, has a reaction of utter shock and disbelief.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Selfcest Selfcest]: Averted; his future wife ended up having sex with him under the pretense that he was his future self.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexAsRiteOfPassage Sex As Rite Of Passage]: A recurring theme. Many trolls believe that Chris is only doing his Love Quest because sex is a "grown up thing", as sex would be rather painful with his bent penis and the fact he seems to take a very long time to climax (the man can't run around for 40 seconds without breathing heavy).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShallowLoveInterest Shallow Love Interest]: Rosechu. She pretty much only exists to show that Sonichu is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday STRAIGHT].
** Ivy O'Neil in the comics can be considered this too. She's told by God and Jesus that her true love is to be Chris himself once he escapes from the mirror, and she accepts this without question or protest. She's pretty much not characterised at all, either.
** In fact, every single female character is this. Chris really doesn't care about anyone except himself, to he makes all the male characters either heroic clones of himself or [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CardCarryingVillain one-dimensional villains], and he makes all the female characters into sex objects so passive they'd make [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Twilight Bella Swan] look like [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheFaerieQueene Britomart].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShillingTheWesley Shilling The Wesley]: Chris in the comic. His hedgehogs have nothing but praise for him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShockAndAwe Shock And Awe]: Sonichu, like most Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, is ostensibly a lightning user.
** Oddly, even though most of the characters are described as "Electric Hedgehog Pokémon," Sonichu is the only one who uses electric powers with any kind of regularity, because they either have secondary typing that they focus on (the Chaotic Combo) or aren't Electric-type at all. (Jamsta, Lolisa and Simonla). [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic It still doesn't explain why the pure Normal-type Jamsta and Lolisa or the Ground/Bug-type Simonla are still classified as ''Electric'' Hedgehog Pokemon.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShoutOut Shout Out]: There are several intended shoutouts throughout the series, but they all come off as (or, using the eponymous character as a hint, ''are'') [[:Category:Things_Chris_has_ripped_off|ripoffs]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell Show, Don't Tell]: Completely inverted. Massive walls of text explain everything that's happening, characters will discuss things that any other writer would leave offscreen (i.e. an entire page dedicated to ''a character getting a soda,'' with a conversation about getting the change for the soda machine; or Chris and his clone Sammy discussing the difference between their medallions), and as pointed out above, has entire action scenes skipped over in favor of the characters just ''talking'' about what happened. It basically boils down to him thinking everyone is as thick-headed as he is, and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ViewersAreMorons thus everything has to be thoroughly explained.]
** This also applies to the personalities of his characters. Yes, they do have personalities. Yes, you do need to take a deeper look. No, they never, ever display this. And even then he doesn't follow that, expecting the reader to understand that a character isn't really like that and it's just an example of his "Random Access Humor." And most ironically, the one character who has this as a ''trait'', Punchy Sonichu, never shows this.
** And how does Chris himself justify this? By saying that explaining things in text takes much less time and effort, letting him put out more pages faster and saving on his markers.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SickeninglySweethearts Sickeningly Sweethearts]: Sonichu and Rosechu. To a lesser extent, the other couples count too.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SissyVillain Sissy Villain]: Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc. Because he's gay, after all.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible So Bad It's Horrible]: ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/MyImmortal My Immortal]'' has a sort of grandeur to it, since it has been ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StealthParody possibly]) carefully constructed to be as terrible as possible. ''This'' is no parody. This is a man's life - his failures, his neuroses, his fantasies, his warped worldview, proudly displayed for the world on paper and pixels. Reading ''Sonichu'' and learning about its author is nothing less than a descent into someone's personal hell, made all the more terrible for the fact that the author intends for the experience to ''entertain'' people. That they would ''purchase'' it. There is no joy, no fun in CWCville - there is only layer upon layer of ''horror''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpeciesSurname Species Surname]: Most Sonichus and Rosechus.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpotlightStealingSquad Spotlight Stealing Squad]: The comic eventually centers mostly on Chris and his troubles, at least until he gets [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus Put On A Bus].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick Squick]: "Highlights" of Issue #8 include detailed descriptions on how Sonichu sex works, the aforementioned Rosechu "photoshoot", and resident [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiHero anti-hero] Black Sonichu unwittingly having sex with a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DroppedABridgetOnHim hermaphrodite Rosechu]. Other issues include "face rape" and cameltoe crotchshots.
** One of the big sources of the squickiness comes from the fact that this ''looks'' like a kid-drawn comic - badly drawn figures, general lack of details - but then you notice that there are ''disturbing little details'' in the comic that the ''did'' manage to include. Sometimes you can't even notice them the first time you read the comic. As in "Oh my God...he's...he drew...that's a bloody ''codpiece'', that's what it is."
** Even more bonus [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick squick] points for the Rosechu photoshoot being traced from porn... including [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Meg Griffin] and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transformers Transformers] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PerverseSexualLust porn].
** In issue 11, one of the baby Rosechus is playing the Virgin Mary in a school play, she says "I'm the Virgin Mary, that's my story and I'm sticking to it."* This line is quoted verbatim from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StayInTheKitchen Stay In The Kitchen]: Rosechu, strictly speaking, should be at least ''as'' powerful as Sonichu (in fact, she should actually be ''more'' powerful since she evolved from a Raichu), but her life revolves around shopping (and spending too much money when she does it), giving gifts to Sonichu, and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DistressedDamsel getting kidnapped]. [[Sonichu Game Talk|This is even her entire storyline in Chris's hypothetical ''Sonichu'' game]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StrangledByTheRedString Strangled By The Red String]: Every single couple.
** Punchy is hinted to have a crush on Angelica. Then he ends up with Layla Flaaffy.
** Bubbles is with <strike>Black Sonichu</strike> <strike>Blachu</strike> Blake. They hide their relationship for no clear reason.
** When Reldnahc is about to be cured of his homosexuality, there is talk of him getting back together with Kel. There is no mention of this in earlier chapters.
*** Reportedly, Chris has tried this in real life. Seriously, he walked around the mall trailing a piece of [[red string]] with a construction paper heart, in the hope that he could "catch" a girlfriend with it, like with a fishing rod. That's fucked up.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StrawmanHasAPoint Strawman Has A Point]: Sean's drug induced rant.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StuffedIntoTheFridge Stuffed Into The Fridge]: In Issue 9, PandaHalo was burned alive and Ivy was strangled by elevator wire.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StylisticSuck Stylistic Suck]: Chris' imitation of Alec's art style in Issue 10, which he considers "badly drawn" and significantly inferior to his Hand-Drawn True and Original artwork. Chris trying to draw badly ''deliberately'' is a sight to behold, considering his standards. It should also be considered that in imitating Alec's interpretation of the cast of ''Sonichu'', themselves ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic The Hedgehog]'' recolors, Chris essentially created a copy of a copy of a copy.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuperEmpowering Super Empowering]: Chris can give people, like his dog, superpowers.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SureWhyNot Sure Why Not]: Chris's adaptation of the [[Sonichu Fan Promo|Sonichu Fan Promo series]] in Issue 9, one of the few troll-created fanworks that Chris has actually approved (with minor alterations). He didn't realize it was designed to mock him.
** The disparity of naming the Sonichu species after the eponymous hero despite it being canon that he was not the oldest living member of said species was quickly pointed out. When a 'fan' asked Chris if this was because same characters had lived in isolation from anyone qualified to classify them, Chris quickly latched onto this solution.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SurferDude Surfer Dude]: Jamsta Sonichu is ''supposed'' to fill this role (see note on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotallyRadical Totally Radical] below). Comes off as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DumbassDJ Dumbass DJ] instead.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Suspiciously Similar Substitute]: Chris was forced to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DroppedABridgeOnHim kill off] the character [[Simonla]] (NSFW). He immediately has her replaced by her daughter Sandy who is the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenerationXerox exact same character] with some minor athstetic differences. She immediately gets revenge on the ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll person responsible]'' for her mother's death while saying "At least I will not have this issue to deal with in my teen years..." ensuring [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AngstWhatAngst she won't have any angst to define her as a character].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeThat Take That]: Chris inserts people he doesn't like (Mary Lee Walsh, "Jerkops", Jason Kendrick Howell, "Clyde Cash", etc.) into the comic so that he can beat up on them. Ironically, the villains end up being the only characters who are [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RootingForTheEmpire likable] (given this comic, that's not saying much). Also, this could be considered a reversed trope, mostly because the people which Chris presents as villains tend to mock Chris' pathetic attempts at "revenge" (Like Jason) or simply ignore it (Like Wes Iseli).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeThatUs Take That Us]: An unintentional one happens during Sean's stoned rant.
** "Uh..Yeah, we fee-our lost patience wit Chris-Chum; he makes bum promises of constant updurts on his web-be-vurse of quack-e-pedia, and he is lazy."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TalkingToHimself Talking To Himself]: In [[Official Videobooks|Christian's "official" Sonichu audiobooks]] and [[A Sonichu Day|"A Sonichu Day" video]] all characters are voiced (horribly) by Chris.
** And thanks to the Actor Rule, Jason, king of trolls, is Chris. Chris is his greatest troll.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TastesLikeDiabetes Tastes Like Diabetes]: The Sonees and Roseys, Sonichu's and Rosechu's children especially. In fact, their "cuteness" is ''so'' annoying that they're probably the most hated out of all of Chris's creations, which is saying a ''lot''!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThirtySuePileup Thirty Sue Pileup]: Christian Weston Chandler ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar], also a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sue]* With the power stored in his <strike>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon Medallion]</strike> High School Ring, he can become Chris-Chan Sonichu, a very powerful entity who has a singular weak spot, which has been targeted a grand total of twice, and can defeat most of Chris's enemies with only a little effort. Even without his Sonichu form, he has [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ComboPlatterPowers Combo Platter Powers] out the woz. He can use [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllYourPowersCombined all other Sonichu powers], magic spells, ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YuGiOh Yu-Gi-Oh]!'' cards turned real, and psychic powers. He's even got an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transformers Autobot] for a car. Even before the comic began, Chris was a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MightyMorphinPowerRangers frigging Power Ranger]. He's so powerful that he essentially negates the point of the title character even existing. Chris appeared to realize this after his "fans" informed him of this, and comic book Chris eventually left the story, with the promise that he'd give Sonichu back the spotlight. Needless to say, Chris broke his promise and his character not only returned, but also was made ''even more powerful''.), Sonichu (an idealized Christian Weston Chandler, also a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CopyCatSue Copy Cat Sue]), Rosechu (an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAppeal Author Appeal] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue Mary Sye]), Reginald Sneasel (a backup Sue for Chris while he's in the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PutOnABus time void]), but especially, ''especially'', Chris-Chan Sonichu (a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sue]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CopyCatSue Copy Cat Sue]), as well as...
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PuritySue Purity Sue]: Rosechu, Sailor Megtune, Christian Weston Chandler.
*** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainSue Villain Sue]: From the troll perspective, Christian Weston Chandler.
** Apparently Chris concluded that his Author Avatar, despite being God Mode Sue, isn't overpowered enough, so in ''Sonichu 10'' he turned him into [[Collosal Chan|Collosal Chris Chan]] [sic]. So that would be... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoreThanInfinite More Than Infinite] God Mode Sue?
** Fun fact: A comment on this very page was the original inspiration for [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThirtySuePileup Thirty Sue Pileup].
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlackHoleSue Black Hole Sue]: Chris again.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotallyRadical Totally Radical]: The characters' use of slang is rather outdated for a comic that's supposed to take place in the noughties, and Chris seems to obtain most of his music knowledge from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuitarHero Guitar Hero]''. Would someone who was up on all his youth culture terminology name a character "Jamsta Sonichu"?
** Let's also not forget the "zap to the extreme" line, quoted on this very page.
*** A line judging from when the comic started and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotallyRadical Totally Radical] parody character Johnny Extreme was at his extremest, was stolen directly from ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/X-Play X-Play]''.
** And has anyone ''ever'' referred to sex as "we did the do?"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TransformationTrinket Transformation Trinket]: The Sonichu Medallion allows Chris to transform into his super-powered fursona. Until the real-life medallion was destroyed by trolls. Then Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon retconned] that it was actually his high school ring that gave him his powers, thus creating a new [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MacGuffin MacGuffin] for his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hatedom hatedom].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere Tsundere]: Subverted. Chris ''thinks'' that Bubbles Rosechu is one of these, but really she's as two dimensional as Liquid's medal.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UltimateEvil Ultimate Evil]: Count Graduon, the embodiment of Chris's humiliation at his high school ''gradu''ati''on''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnfortunateImplications Unfortunate Implications]: Chris's attitude towards black people seems a bit un-PC. He's also a raging homophobe, but there's nothing implicit about that.
** To say nothing of the fact that the Jerkops are all hypnotized "slow-minded/mentally handicapped adults" as mentioned in Sub-Episode 6.
** As mentioned elsewhere, his female characters are a collection of chauvinistic stereotypes who only exist for male masturbatory pleasure.
** In a video, he dressed in a Native American costume and enacted every stereotype while saying he was gonna get the trolls.
** His "Ancient leader of the Cherokian clan" looks more like an Ancient Roman than a Cherokee.
** In a blog post he said the people with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AspergerSyndrome Asperger Syndrome] could "fake it" that they "SHUN" austictic people by being better "Communicatevly and socially" than them, and that "VICTORY OVER AUTISM BELONGS ONLY TO US TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE" (He wrote it in all caps as if it were a motto).
** The gay vaccine.
*** Even more damning, when asked about Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church, he said he shares views with him.
** Chris's "future wife" in the comics Lovely Weather asked Chris to have sex with her. Thinking that she was Future!Chris. It seems as if he thinks it's okay to have sex with someone under false pretenses.
** "I am the Great Director Chandler!" regarding how he is free to do whatever he wants to anything Sonichu related. Great Director Chandler of The True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, hum?
** There's also his "[[:File:331-Girlcoupon.jpg|Girl Coupon]]".
** His thoughts on [[Friend zone|being just friends with heterosexual women]]. He actually believes that it's just an excuse ''for a woman'' to withold sex ''from a man''. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllMenArePerverts Apparently it's never the other way around.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnsoundEffect Unsound Effect]: *teleports in* No doubt there are many others. They're all mostly based on Pokemon moves since 99% of the characters are Pokemon.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnstoppableRage Unstoppable Rage]: When Jason Kendrick Howell throws a pickle at Rosechu, she snaps, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick strips naked, and claws the shit out of his head while face-raping him.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism Unusual Euphemism]: "China" and "Duck", [[CWC-isms|among others]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VanityLicensePlate Vanity License Plate]: Chris has one that reads "Sonichu" on <strike>his</strike> his mother's car ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ICallItVera affectionately nicknamed 'Son-Chu']), both in real life and in the comic. Of course, the real-life version is just your average '94 Ford Escort, while the comic version is a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transformers Transformer]...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ViewersAreMorons Viewers Are Morons]: Unsurprising, as Chris thinks his IQ is around 300, thus he feels the need to talk down to people who impersonate doctors, Nintendo Executives, and famous artists/inventors.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainDecay Villain Decay]: Blake goes from being a Shadow ripoff to a generic Stu ''in the middle of an episode''. Then, he hooks up with Bubbles and becomes a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SatelliteCharacter Satellite Character] to a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SatelliteCharacter Satellite Character] before being almost entirely written out.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger WallBanger]: The series is infamous for so many of these moments. Perhaps the greatest one is ''Dating Education''... yes, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheMoralSubstitute like sex ed], but with ''dating'' instead of sex, and the textbook ''is a book written by a 9-year-old.''
** If viewers hadn't put their heads through the wall after the idea alone, Chris even included a Dating Education ''test'' into the comic for viewers to take and email to him to be scored. Let's run through this again: the author has had no luck with personal relationships, and wishes that a class was offered on the subject. There isn't. So ''he'' comes up with a curriculum and test ''on a subject he admits he's clueless about''. The only way this makes logical sense is if you assume he's being devious and wants to mine his readers' test responses for ideas.
** ''Loosely'' based on a book written by a 9 year old (aimed for other 9 year olds), Chris change parts he didn't agree on, so that means ''A NINE YEAR OLD KNOWS MORE ABOUT DATING THAN CHRIS!!''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallOfText Wall Of Text]: Either the characters do lengthy explanations of what they're going to do, or offer lengthy rants after their non-victory.
** Seriously, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_9/Page_93 just try] [[:File:SchuComic10P09.jpg|and read]] [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_36 any of this].
** He actually [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Lampshaded lampshaded] this [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_66 in Issue 10]. Will he stop with the walls of text? Probably not.
** Chris's official explanation for his blatant textwalling is that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell it's much faster, easier and more cost-effective to just have the characters say what's happened instead of actually drawing it], considering he adds the text in the speech bubbles digitally.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhamEpisode Wham Episode]: The end of issue 10 is one of the most shocking twists in the comic... ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger for]'' ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DethroningMomentOfSuck all]'' ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon the]'' ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids wrong]'' ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpicFail reasons]''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle3aa6c4mw What Do You Mean, It's For Kids?]: Chris has claimed several times that the comic is for kids (he's said that it'd be rated [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MediaClassifications TV-Y7]), despite the sex and all the other things no sane parent would allow their child to see.
** He uses the 'They'll see it eventually and it's a natural part of life' argument when called on it.
** And when someone called him out on that, he blamed the FCC for "slipping on their ratings."
*** He holds his comic as being morally superior to ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' because he would be willing to censor the gratuitous sex scenes with various fruits over the genitals, and he already censors the swearing. Not exactly very effective. Meanwhile, not only does ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' not even claim to be for kids, Alec can more easily censor his own works, because bleeping offensive words is easy, because the pornographic activities in his comic are background scenes and not relevant to the plot, and because his comics are drawn on a computer, so if Alex uses layers, he can easily remove them.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitlerax1116nu5ji What Do You Mean, It's Not For Kids?]: For a supposed kids' comic, it has a lot of sex in issue #8. These scenes were later taken out of the comic proper after a troll posing as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShigeruMiyamoto Shigeru Miyamoto] tricked him into doing so, but on the last place Chris hosted the comic they could still be seen on a secret section of the website.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatHappenedToTheMouse What Happened To The Mouse?]: Crystal? Metal Sonichu? Oh, yeah. ''Those'' characters. The former gets freed from the mirror as Chris hastily tries to tie up all the loose ends.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeaksauceWeakness Weaksauce Weakness]: Anything remotely phallic (in CWC's view, anyway) besides his own "duck" makes Sonichu whimper, whine, and gag. Even pickles on a burger. (The real life Chris seems to share this weakness, as he seems unable to even say the word "dick" without grimacing in disgust.)
** On another note, touching the white mark on Chris-chan Sonichu's chest will make him revert to human form. This, however, has been used a grand total of ''two'' times, and he is always able to change back without problems, and has God-Sue powers in either form, makes you wonder why he bothers changing anyways.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWesley The Wesley]: Let's just say all the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesignatedHero "heroes"] (especially [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeroicSociopath Chandler]) and leave it at that...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment]: While all the issues have contained some this, issue #10 is, despite being unfinished, by far the heaviest and by far the worst in this category. It has Chris losing his virginity to his future wife, creating his perfect world by brutally killing and injuring his Internet-based enemies and taking down their websites forever and performing a complete eradication of homosexuality and asexuality, and finally: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Making out] with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PerverseSexualLust Meg Griffin from Family Guy].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWikiRule The Wiki Rule]: [[Main Page|CWCki]] is a wiki dedicated solely to listing every single mishap and flaw of Christian Weston Chandler, whereas [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia CWCipedia] is Chris's own wiki, which he also uses to host his comic. The CWCki also [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesInOtherWikis links back to this page] as a brief catalogue of everything that's wrong about Sonichu.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitledr2p2k8t Wouldn't Hit A Girl]: Averted. Christian's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] has no qualms about beating up <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> Slaweel Ryam.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritersCannotDoMaths Writers Cannot Do Maths]: CWCVille's currency is split up into C-Quarters, W-Quarters, and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment C-Quarters.] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CriticalResearchFailure 10 C-Quarters] make up 1 W-Quarter, and 10 W-Quarters make up 10 C-Quarters. Yes, they'd look different, but how does this not look confusing on paper?
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WriterOnBoard Writer On Board]: Although it's hard to tell what the personalities of most of the good guys are, since they [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatCharacter don't really have one], it's awfully strange that they all have the same opinions on sex, homosexuality, and religion that Chris has, and do not mind sharing them when Chris is unable to.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WriteWhoYouKnow Write Who You Know]: The author writes both [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life] friends (mostly his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll so-called "Sweethearts"]) and enemies into the story.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritingAroundTrademarks Writing Around Trademarks]: The reason why ''Sonichu'' exists in the first place: For well over a decade, Chris has been under the assumption that because his teacher approved the idea of using a mishmash of Sonic and Pikachu instead of the actual characters, Sonichu is perfectly legal... as a 'parody' of the two characters if nothing else. Of course, Chris has no idea what a 'parody' actually entails, and uses the term as a cheap get-out-of-jail-free card to prove that (he thinks) he's not infringing copyright.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WordSaladHumor Word Salad Humor]: Known as Random-Access Humor.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosRoulette Xanatos Roulette]: The Asperpedia Four's plan to kill <strike>Simonchu</strike> Simonla Rosechu apparently hinges on Simonla going to the toilet in a cinema after the movie is over, going to one particular stall, not having anyone go to the toilet before her and not noticing a Voltorb (a large red and white orb with eyes) poorly hidden behind the toilet.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Yangire Yangire]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GenerationXerox Sandy Rosechu] hears about Evan killing her her mother, Simonla, a few minutes after being born. In Simonla's trial, Evan is sentenced to being bludgeoned to death by Sandy, who at the time is only a few weeks old. [[:File:SandyKiller.JPG|Here's an artist's depiction.]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YearInsideHourOutside Year Inside Hour Outside]: Chris spent nine months trapped in the Time Void, but to him it felt closer to just one month.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailLawForever You Fail Law Forever]: As Dethchemist points out, the trial of the Asperchu crew involves numerous violations of Virgina state and American federal law, and the executions are done in manners that grossly violate laws against torture and cruel and unusual punishment. In fact, everything about being tortured to death by a third-grader Pokemon-thing as her father stands by encouraging her is cruel and unusual.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailPharmacologyForever You Fail Pharmacology Forever]: In Sonichu's world, an anti-homosexuality vaccine was created using CWC's "pure" blood. Uh, Chris, vaccines are created using blood already infected with the disease you're trying to cure.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IfYouKnowWhatIMean Possibly subverted.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailReligiousStudiesForever You Fail Religious Studies Forever]: He uses "Do angels have names?" as a pick up line. There are hundreds of names for angels, not in the least Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, which are still common today.
** It comes from him failing at the common pick up line "Do angels '''like you''' have names?", which he admits to have picked up from a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DatingSim Dating Sim] called ''Sprung''.
** Another example is his complete ignorance of any religion other than mainline Protestant Christianity. He mentions Buddhists celebrating Christmas in their "Buddhist churches." Also, there's one character, Angelica Rosechu, who was raised in a convent by nuns and is supposedly Catholic, but she seems to express all the same theological opinions that Chris does and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InformedAbility has never actually demonstrated anything that indicates she's Catholic.] She pushed the button to fry Alec on the electric chair, clearly defying the Catholic Church's stance against capital punishment, nor does she seem to share the Church's stance on masturbation. The church she goes to is called the "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is just about the least Catholic-sounding name you could possibly come up with.
** While he grasps some concept of the Christian concept of God, he apparently doesn't understand the doctrine of the Trinity. He mentions "God and Jesus" as if they were separate deities instead of different aspects of the same one, and the Holy Spirit never gets a mention, probably because it's too complex a concept to grasp. His Jesus is also [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotallyRadical Totally Radical].
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DragonBallZ Curse-yehameha!] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatAnIdiot Yes, he has really yelled the name of a certain king of Hawaii in public.]
** His obsession with the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfThree Third Date] is in direct violation of the whole no premarital sex rule of Christianity. As [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWikiRule the CWCki] points out, he repeatedly breaks all Ten Commandments & Seven Deadly Sins (if his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DaydreamBeliever Daydream Believer] statements are to be believed, yes, this also includes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThouShaltNotKill murder]). He practices witchcraft (with no results, of course), meaning that there's a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBible Biblical] mandate for his death.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YourMileageMayVary Your Mileage May Vary]: Many say this is [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsGood So Bad It's Good] due to the sheer patheticness. Others find it [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible unbearable to read]. You've been warned.
|}
----

But the ''Sonichu'' phenomenon cannot be contained by the comic itself. Because Christian Weston Chandler's life is inextricably intertwined with the stories he writes and his interactions with his "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hatedom fanbase]", just as many tropes can be applied to his not-so-private life as to his comic. ''Sonichu'' has also inspired a unique type of FanFic, the "trollfic" (not to be confused with a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrollFic Troll Fic]), a normal fanfic with the characters' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterAlignment moral alignments] usually flipped. Meanwhile the blogcasts and chat channels the author uses to communicate with people can be more interesting than the actual comic, and offer profound insights into the mind of Mr. Chandler.
----
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Tropes found in trolling, trollfics, and RealLife: A-H
|-
|
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AGodAmI A God Am I]: Chris really thinks he can curse people in real life. ''He really thinks he has supernatural powers.''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AcceptableTargets Acceptable Targets] - There is a [[White_knight#Reasons_against_white_knighting|list of reasons]] on CWCki to advise against White Knighting for Chris - for starters, he's homophobic, sexist, refuses to get counseling for autism, and, as a ''major'' selling point for trolls, he always gets over getting trolled, or is oblivious to his mocking.
** Hell, Chris counts as an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AcceptableTarget Acceptable Target] here at TV tropes, too. Any other article this overwhelmingly negative and insulting in tone probably would've gotten purged a long time ago.
** In an inversion, the only hard and fast rules about trolling Chris are that Megan is left out of it, and that "The Wallflower"'s true identity should not be revealed. It's known that Megan is still spooked by what went on and "The Wallflower" requested that her name and personal details be removed.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheAce The Ace]: No, not Chris at all but you! Compare Chris to your life and you may suddenly feel ten times more competent and awe-inspiring. Having a job or getting a date alone is enough to dwarf Chris' successes. Way to go!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdaptationDistillation Adaptation Distillation]: Vivian Gee's [http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1 audiobooks] are infinitely better than the actual comics. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bizxbwMqHfQ Chris's] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMk6TCPG3nA own] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axK8mpHgMVA audiobooks?] ...Not so much.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Angrish Angrish]: Vivian's commentary occasionally lapses into this as a result of the subject matter. "WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTlfkdsrtbdfgnvetndgnd"
*** "God damn just...look...at...eversfkljdfvd"
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CatchPhrase Catch Phrase]: From Vivian's commentary, "Look at that ____, god damn!" "oh god that face!" "HONOR ROLL MY ASS."
*** For Chris: "*SIGH* Hm, well that's your opinion that I have any catch phasses." (He says those about ten times each phone conversation).
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMusicOfAwesome Crowning Music Of Awesome]: To make up for the lack of fun in the comics, Vivian amuses herself through her selections for the background music. Transformation sequences (even for males) are accompanied by the ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' theme, infiltrations are set to pieces from ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', Darkbind Sonichu's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Leitmotif leitmotif] is apparently "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChronoTrigger Frog's Theme]", "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Music/TomJones Sex Bomb]" plays whenever [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism hanky-panky] is implied, and "[[Power Rangers|Go Go PowerRangers]]" plays whenever the Chaotic Combo is fully assembled. There's also fun [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoundtrackDissonance soundtrack dissonance], such as the Spring Break episode opening with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OminousPipeOrgan The Day of Lavos].
** Not to mention a large amount consists of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Kirby Kirby]'' music.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDanza The Danza]: The real Jason Kendrick Howell voicing ''Sonichu''!Jason Kendrick Howell in his audiobook episode.
*** And later troll legends [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiVwrryuy70 Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus joined him].
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LemonyNarrator Lemony Narrator]: Dethchemist, the dulcet-toned narrator. Usually he just does a good job reading the dialogue, but when he does describe the action, he can be slyly snarky.
*** "...Wild replies, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MaleGaze staring directly at her chest]."
*** A character produces a handful of change from nowhere: "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AssShove reaching deep into his anus]..."
*** "...his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RougeAnglesOfSatin Thun] attack."
*** "...an utterly emasculated Bionic..."
*** "'[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hermaphrodite I am full of surprises],' she says, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DontExplainTheJoke possibly referring to the male genitalia nestled within her body]."
*** "'I feel as silly as the time that I temporarily gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FilmationsGhostbusters Ghost Command].' ...as he gets up to use the bathroom, we see that Chris is indeed fat and stupid."
*** "'Ohh...,' he thinks as he sees her bent over the dryer with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PantyShot a clear view of her underwear]. Overcome with lust, he begins to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ADateWithRosiePalms masturbate furiously]."
*** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel "His erect manhood is enormous, twisted and bent, like a crooked tree emerging from a forest of pubic hair."]
*** (After hearing about Chris raping his wife) "Listening intently, Wild and Magi-Chan struggle to conceal their disgust."
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MSTing MSTing]: Vivian's audiobook presentations of the comics are littered with snarky commentary, which does a lot to make them bearable.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneOfUs One Of Us]: Vivian noted that "also i laughed at me/dethchemist on tvtropes thanks guys!!111" in episode 21 of the annotated series.
*** "also, god damn you fucking tvtropes people are fast"
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere Tsundere] / [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FrenchJerk French Jerk]: Vivian has shades of this; she seems to appreciate having an audience, yet she realizes that this forces her to suffer through the comics. "Thanks for watching you fucking whores!"
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatTheHellHero What The Hell Hero]: If we take the narrator as someone in the story, then Dethchemist's repeated disgusted comments about Chris and the others' disproportionate brutality toward innocent and jerkish people. The narrator is especially disgusted with Wild over encouraging his daughter to brutally torture Evan.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdultChild Adult Child]: Chris-chan himself, obviously, considering his tendency to scream at [[trolls]] over the internet, his apparent belief that one troll would have his soul haunted by the spirit of his dead dog, and his constant [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IneffectualDeathThreats empty threats].
** He also admits to still play with his toys at least for an hour, every day.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdOfWin Ad Of Win]: Trolls buy advertising space on the [[CWCipedia]], where they put up banners for gay dating, gay rights, Asperger's, Asperchu, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and pickles] * This is not a joke; Chris hates pickles because they [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudWasRight remind him of wangs], all to aggravate the generally intolerant, particularly homophobic Chris. The Gay ads on this website are also LOL-worthy. There have also been ads for background checks and a website to report suspicious activities to.
** Don't forget the "Adopt Christian Chandler" ads that linked to mental institutions and mad houses.
** Or the advertisement for Asperchu's latest issue, which shows Sonichu shooting <s>Chris</s> Ian's knee with a sniper rifle.
** Or the other reecent ones which involve Chris hung up and with limbs cut off while Sonichu stands in front talking, referencing the way Chris decided to kill off certain characters to stroke his ego.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AesopAmnesia Aesop Amnesia]: On 21 March 2010, after his activities on the Internet resulted in his most recent "sweetheart" cutting off contact with him and trolls vandalizing [[CWCipedia]], [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|Christian posted a video]] in which he announced that he's leaving the Internet, claimed that he learned a lot from his encounters with trolls, stated that he doesn't need the Internet and that he's going to "enjoy real life, go out and socialize!" ''Less than two days later'', [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|he returned to the Internet to whine about The Cleveland Show]], and since then he posted several new YouTube videos... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningGag including two or three in which he announced that this time he's leaving the Internet for real, only to make a new video a few days later].
** Chris attempted to vandalize his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page by removing facts and opinions about himself he didn't like, adding the praise of himself and uploading pornographic drawings. This only made trolls troll him more. What did Chris learn from this experience? Literally nothing - [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|he later attempted to vandalize CWCki]] by removing facts and opinions about himself he didn't like, adding the praise of himself and making his drawing of himself having sex with three women the Picture of the Now.
** And let's just say that despite the fact that revealing his or other people's personal information repeatedly brought troubles upon Chris - something even Chris himself acknowledged in the video from 21 March ("I have put too much of my personal life online to be ridiculed so much") - [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia_page)|he didn't learn to stop doing that]].
*** The list from the linked article proves that most of Christian's "sweethearts" and "gal-pals" were just girls who went to the same schools he did and who most likely hanged out with him out of pity or because teachers asked them to; anyway, apparently it wasn't too important to them to keep in touch with Chris after graduation, as he lost contact with them long time ago. "Sweethearts" he met after his graduation either were trolls ([[Blanca Weiss]], <s>[[BlueSpike]]</s> Julie), eventually dumped Chris and married other men ([[PandaHalo]], [[Kacey]]) or weren't trolls but wanted to be just friends with Chris and eventually cut off contact with him upon realizing that he's a creepy, deranged jerkass ([[Megan]], "[[The Wallflower]]"). Did a history of such "relationships" made Chris rethink his opinion that he's a handsome and charming women magnet? Needless to say, [[Gal-Pals_and_Past_Sweethearts_(CWCipedia_page)#How_Do_I_Get_and_Know_So_Many_Women.3F|it didn't]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AirGuitar Air Guitar]: Chris doesn't know how to play guitar. He is apparently decent at ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', though, so he'll sometimes pretend to strum along to songs on his guitar. The problem? So far, aside from a song he played on Guitar Hero, ''none of the songs have had a guitar.'' There is something [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny unfathomably hilarious] about Chris clicking a game controller in pretend-tune to horns and synthesized piano.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllAnimalsAreDogs All Animals Are Dogs]: Judging by the fact that Chris [[More for the_crabs|couldn't wait to play with Ivy's hermit crabs]] and [[For My Sweetest Ivy|wanted to walk them]], he seems to believe that crabs behave just like dogs.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlternativeCharacterInterpretation Alternate Character Interpretation]: Solid Chris is often called [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], taken from one of his account names, and is portrayed by others as a stupid loser troll who tries to steal Liquid Chris's fame and take over his franchise, ruining his name in the process. [[Liquid Chris]], though obviously the true impostor, is jokingly refereed to as the real Chris, because his videos and songs are much better than Solid Chris's, and because it pisses off Solid. Notably, Liquid Chris has true fans and a good amount of subscribers and friends on Youtube, and a Girlfriend, Kacey, while Solid's fanbase is just a bunch of trolls.
** Also, there's a persistent school of thought that says he must simply be one of the most elaborate, dedicated internet trolls ever, going so far as to get his father in on the gag. This may persist simply as a sheltering hope that no one could be ''that''... whatever he is.
*** Megan has one too as detailed here <strike>[http://legi0n.789chan.org/cwc/res/41019.html]</strike> links broken anyway according to a guy who used to work at the game place meagan was a manuplative psycho and chris was the victim
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndYourLittleDogToo And Your Little Dog Too]: Why does so much trolling revolve around hacking Chris's PSN accounts? Easy...he's made it pretty obvious that his PS3 is the only thing in the world he loves. That, and Chris '''really''' sucks at password security.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Angrish Angrish]: "I NAME IS NOT [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThisIsSPARTA IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING!]"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnimatedAdaptation Animated Adaption]: ''[[Fan:Sonichu: The Animated Series|Sonichu: The Animated Series]]''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiRoleModel Anti Role Model]: For people with [[Asperger Syndrome]] or [[Autism]], Chris Chan is pretty much this, their [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Comicbook/Superman Bizzaro], their [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainAmerica Red Skull]. The complete negative embodiment of the Autistic Spectrum brought to life. Go onto any AS forum and ask about him and they will either refuse to talk about him or will spew off exactly why they hate him, then the thread will be locked quickly as a result.
** Although he does inspire people to do better in life, simply by looking at what he does and then doing the exact oppositie to ensure you never end up like him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiSue Anti Sue]: Chris IS this. He has ''zero'' positive traits: no standards to follow, no skills to admire, no mindset to enjoy, no life to behold, his body is a wreck, he has no real ambitions, and worst of all, he thinks that he's ''the complete opposite of this.'' It's like he's the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Exalted Ebon Dragon] to humanity; the antithesis to all we should strive for and the embodiment of all our flaws.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArchEnemy Arch Enemy]: [[Clyde Cash]], the most persistent of trolls, is probably the closest to being Christian's archnemesis. Chris himself appears to see Clyde that way, as he (rightfully or not) blames Clyde for all kinds of bad things that happened to him in recent years [[Don't Mess With Me|and occasionally threatens to murder him]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Arson Murder And Jaywalking]: "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel That Is A NIGHTMARE to me], EVEN WORSE than the nightmare I had where I was in a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmokeAndFireFactory factory] and I watched [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ConveyorBeltODoom PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt] with their [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoSmoking mouths full of cigarettes], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KillItWithFire going through BURNING OVENS], coming out singed [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AvertedTrope (not] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncendiaryExponent ON FIRE)], then [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DrowningMySorrows dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol] that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisintegratorRay DISSOLVED THEM to DUST] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HollywoodAcid like ACID would do], and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeaderThanDead their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes.] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED."]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtifactOfDoom Artifact Of Doom]: [[Relics of Fail|The Relics of Fail]], a treasury of home-made... mementos.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asexuality Asexuality]: Chris-Chan has stated in a mailbag reply that he finds it to be disgusting...[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch even though it's one of the things that, if eliminated, would leave even less "boyfriend-free girls" for him.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AttentionWhore Attention Whore]: Combine this with his ego and inability to tell when people are making fun of him, and there's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity No Such Thing As Bad Publicity] for Chris.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AwesomeMcCoolName Awesome McCool Name]: Inverted with Christian Weston Chandler, who, lives up to his pansy-ass sounding name by being a total, hissy-fit throwing wuss.
** Played straight with the trolls who get cool names like Clyde Cash and BlueSpike. Hell, even this obscure character from the children's cartoon [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RocketPower Rocket Power] has just [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TookALevelInBadass Took A Level In Badass] with his name, [[Surfshack Tito]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Badass Badass]: Kacey's father, hands down. Firstly, he's an ex-marine who served in the Gulf War. Secondly, after the 9/11 attacks, he was there to look for and to rescue survivors from the rubble. Third, he has a kickass voice. And finally, he was more than willing to give Chris a much needed [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReasonYouSuckSpeech Reason You Suck Speech] that lasted for over two hours.
** Bob Chandler himself could qualify, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaughtWithYourPantsDown for walking in on Chris doing bad things] and giving him a horrible time about it (Bob Walks In), and also threatening to literally cut down his internet connection while interrupting a rage-filled demand. (THAT IS MY HOUSE) Let's not forget Alec, however, who also handed out entire [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReasonYouSuckSpeech Reason You Suck Speeches] to Chris with a cool voice of his own, despite Chris's horrible excuses to get out of the conversations.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BadLiar Bad Liar]: [[List of Chris's Lies|Chris himself, repeatedly caught out lying]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImplausibleDeniability and defending his lies after being called out on them].
** In an audio recording from 12 April 2010 [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris stated he's got "nothing bad against the Jews", only to use the word "Jew" as an insult a few minutes later]]. It's telling that Chris, who uploaded the recording on the internet leaving it unedited, apparently doesn't see the contradiction here.
*** Anyone with even ''some'' knowledge of Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|see this as no surprise at all]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor Be Careful What You Wish For]: Chris has managed to obtain the fame and attention many webcomic authors would kill for... at the cost of having absolutely no true fans, being trolled both online and in real life, and having a his every movement and flaw put on show for the world to see.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BerserkButton Berserk Button]: People "stealing" Sonichu is just about the only thing that makes Chris visibly angry. So naturally, that's what most of the best trolling revolves around.
** Chris ''really'' doesn't like homosexual men, and calling him gay often results in him [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday yelling that he is STRAIGHT]. Gay men using the body spray ''AXE'' also set him off, resulting in him writing a ''formal complaint'' to the company who manufacture it, and in the comic his future self has managed to create the ''cure'' for homosexuality.
** Chris also went completely ballistic several times when Liquid Chris managed to start getting trolls to call him Ian Brandon Anderson.
** Being called fat also makes Chris snap. He's actually not ''that'' heavy, but he's in intense denial that he's overweight at all.
*** Actually, he has become fatter than ever, as he barely leaves his room anymore.
** Calling him [[naïve]] will also invoke his rage. It is also apparent that he has no idea what "naïve" means. He also likes to call other people that.
** Chris also will rage at the mere existence of his ED page, the memory of his high school graduation, and his expulsion from college.
** [[Bob Chandler|The Lumberjack]] may also have this quality.
** It is speculated that bringing up his dead dog or Megan could also provoke him.
*** Indeed, judging by CAPS and overall lack of coherence in one of his mailbag replies, [[Mailbag_45#Mistakes.2C_errors.2C_and_ordeals| he doesn't like to be reminded about shecameforcwc.jpg picture]]. Though the person he was <s>raging at</s> replying to also brought up [[Asperchu|another Berserk Button]]...
** Even the slightest mention of Asperger Syndrome seems to send Chris into a frenzy, partially because he believes that Asperger's sufferers are trying to get people to symphathize with them, thereby hogging the spotlight from <s>others who suffer from 'real' Autistic Spectrum disorders such as</s> himself. That, and the name sounds a fair bit like "ass burgers".
** The Asperchu, Asperger's and Liquid Chris issues seem to fall under one particular theme--someone stealing Chris' thunder or taking attention from him. Some of the videos he does related to Clyde Cash in particular almost seem playful or funny, but he's all business and blind rage when it comes to the idea that someone might be trying to draw attention from him.
*** It seems to be more that he's afraid of losing the "fans" he believes he has or that he's afraid people will actually confuse Sonichu/him and Asperchu/"Liquid," when the difference is actually pretty obvious to most people. Same deal with the "I AM STRAIGHT" business. He's afraid that people will actually think he's gay if trolls or anyone else accuse him of being so.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BetterThanCanon Better Than Canon]: The ''Asperchu'', ''Simonchu'', and ''[[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]'' comics.
** Along with all the other [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanWork Fan Work]s, including this [http://lifefantasyx.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-140419492 fanart].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible Beyond The Impossible]: Chris is the internet's favorite lol-cow for a reason: Every time you think the lulz have dried up, and Chris can't get any more pathetic and/or delusional, he goes and tops himself.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Bishonen Bishonen]: In real life, Liquid Chris is boyishly handsome, if a bit geeky-looking (though the costume probably has something to do with that), but he tends to get this treatment in fanart.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlahBlahBlah Blah Blah Blah]: Chris sometimes answers emails this way. A good example can be found [[Mailbag_32#Parodies|here]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BreakTheHaughty Break The Haughty]: One of the long term goals of the trolls with Chris; to finally break his pride and ego and cause him to realize what an utter failure he is. But Chris's wall of delusion is so impenetrable that it'd probably take the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WonderWoman Lasso of Truth] to get past them. But with trolls being trolls, they will happily do this for as long as Chris exists.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrutalHonesty BrutalHonesty]: Chris simply doesn't seem to possess a sense of shame, and is perfectly willing to upload nudes of himself, sex tapes, or reveal nausea-inducing personal information. "Honest" for Chris seems to be "tell everyone you meet about your sex life (or lack of it) and any disgusting biological conditions."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButtMonkey Butt Monkey]: A definite [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life] example, Chandler is the entire internet's punching bag. Everyone mocks him, very few defend him (and when they do, they usually just want his trust so they can find new grounds on which to mock him), and on a few occasions, people who've tried to help him got so fed up with his self-centered, obstinate personality that they gave it up and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeWhoFightsMonsters became trolls themselves.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ButYouScrewOneGoat But You Screw One Goat]: There's no definite proof that Chris had [[Chris_and_sex#Bestiality|sexual relations with an animal]] or even wants to, but [[IRC (27 December 2008)|some things he's said about dogs]] can't help but make you wonder...
::I can imagine myself doing it with a collie at least. You know, like Lassie.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CameraAbuse Camera Abuse]: When Chris has an outburst of rage during filming a video, sometimes he just can't stop himself from attacking his own camera.
** Ironically, this actually improves the quality of some later videos, as the damaged camera makes him look and sound like [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MaxHeadroom Max Headroom].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CartwrightCurse Cartwright Curse]: <s>Three</s> Two of Chris' "[[Troll|sweethearts]]" (Sarah Jackson, <s>PandaHalo</s> and Ivy) died, and his "[[Troll| gal-pal]]" Sarah May attempted suicide.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CassandraTruth Cassandra Truth]: During the Julie saga Clyde Cash [[Mumble 9.5|told Chris]] that Sarah Jackson, PandaHalo and Sarah May aren't dead that they were all trolls. Christian's response? "I know y'all are feeding me lies right now."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaughtWithYourPantsDown Caught With Your Pants Down]: The aptly-named video "Bob Walks In." No wonder he wants to cut down the internet.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterNameAlias Character Name Alias]: ''Sonichu [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NineteenEightyFour 1984]'' has the anonymous main character make up the alias "Winston" when meeting another character, who uses the alias "Orwell."
** This trope was also part of a major trolling scheme against the "original" ''Sonichu'' author, who was successfully convinced that his comic was being plagiarized by an Englishman named Jimmy Hill, who is actually a football commentator.
** "Fans" also commonly use this trope when writing fan mail to Chris. To date, he has received fan mail from famous people such as Levi Johnston, Kim Jong-un, Ron Jeremy, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SerialKiller John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NorioWakamoto Norio Wakmoto], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathNote Light Yagami], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SayonaraZetsubouSensei Nozomu Itoshiki], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoctorWho Davros], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadScientist Josef] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThoseWackyNazis Mengele], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Snatcher Gillian Seed], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Queen Freddie Mercury], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MonkeyIsland Guybrush Threepwood], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Castlevania Maria Renard], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TouhouProject Reimu Hakurei], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DigimonTamers Takato Matsuki], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StarTrek Kathryn Janeway], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMC Billy MC], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FinalFantasyVI Kefka Palazzo], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FistOfTheNorthStar Kenshiro Kasumi], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeonGenesisEvangelion Gendo Ikari], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XMen Max Eisenhardt/Magneto], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeilGaiman Neil Gaiman] and even [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LeonardoDaVinci Leonardo Da Vinci]. So far, Chris seems to be none the wiser.
*** However, showing some small capacity to learn, Chris was skeptical when [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StephenKing Stephen King] wrote in for story ideas. He then proceeded to answer a question supposedly written by Chris Brown (the question was about girlfriend-beating, unsurprisingly) immediately afterward. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilariousInHindsight Hilarious In Hindsight] when you realize The Wallflower looks like a gender-flipped StephenKing.
*** Of course, given that Chris's only exposure to the world seems to be video games and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AdultSwim Adult Swim], he probably doesn't know who most of these people are.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChooseYourOwnAdventure Choose Your Own Adventure]: "[http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/stories.htm Choose Your Own Adventure, At Your Own Pace]", two CYOAs with Christian as the main character. One scenario, "Christian Weston Chandler in Lost in Wal-Mart" has him... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin get lost in Wal-Mart], while the other, "Christian Weston Chandler in Gay Date Rape Forever", has him accidentally go to a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GayBar Gay Bar].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ClothesMakeTheLegend Clothes Make The Legend]: Incredibly, there was a time when Chris actually stopped wearing that childish medallion, changed his wardrobe, let a goatee grow and came close to look like an average redneck. Then he shaved and went back to the medallion and striped shirts because trolls "doubted" he was [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm the real Chris].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CloudCuckooLander Cloud Cuckoo Lander]: Christian himself. Most of his attempts of writing coherently inevitably go awry, leading to some very disjointed prose (and frustrated readers.) Examples include: Chris goes from ranting against Asperchu to describing a bad dream he once had, the Sonichu article on CWCipedia becomes a long and drawn-out description of Pokemon in the CWCville gym, and an e-mail he writes to an anti-troll about sexism becomes a description of the CWCville radio station.
** Well, he actually thinks that cartoons are real and he uses them as role models, imitating their behavior and expecting to get the same results on real life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint Completely Missing The Point]: In his "Message to the Future" he encourages everyone to stay straight because "everything else is vice, as said by Doctor Kinsey." The statement "everything else is vice" was part of a larger statement in which Kinsey was saying that this was what society says and that it was not a particularly effective deterrent. Kinsey, for the record, experimented with mansex.
** In the phone call to Kacey's dad, Chris complained about how hard it was to pull weeds.
::'''Kacey's dad:''' "My ''grandma'' pulled weeds. My grandma had ''arthritis'' and pulled weeds."
::'''Chris:''' "I'm sorry your grandma had arthritis."
** In [[Kacey and Liquid Call|the later conversation with Kacey and Liquid Chris]], Kacey pointed out that [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler#Gameplay video|the LittleBigPlanet level Solid Chris supposedly created for her]] was actually the level he created for <strike>BlueSpike</strike> Julie a few months earlier. Solid Chris responded that it doesn't matter because Julie turned out to be a guy.
** He has also [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu completely missed the point] of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Twitter Twitter].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CosmicPlaything Cosmic Plaything]: Chris started getting abused at age 1 when he had an abusive babysitter and it went downhill from there. He actually got trolled before trolling even existed (he was locked in a crawl space when he was six when a girl convinced him that Casper lived there). He's become the internet's punching bag and enough painful and embarrasing things have happened to him through his life that the only reason he isn't a Woobie is that he's a "perverse, narcissistic, homophobic, sexist, racist, overweight, delusional 'high-functioning autistic' virgin man-child". Also, most is self-inflicted.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CouldSayItBut Could Say It But]: [[CWC's Second Message|In the ED-related video]], Chris said that if he were not a Christian, he would tell the people behind the page to go to hell.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilariousInHindsight Hilarious In Hindsight]: In aforementioned video Chris claimed: "I would not even weigh that upon my worst enemy", because he's so kind. In [[To_Clyde_and_Jack.MOV|later]] [[9_February_2010|videos]] he actually told his "enemies" to rot in hell.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreateYourOwnVillain Create Your Own Villain]: Chris has managed to do this a couple of times. CChanSonichuCWC just started out doing impersonations of Chris for fun. It was after Chris first angrily told him to stop doing it that he became Liquid Chris and started using his impersonations as a way of trolling him. Ivy originally just wanted a shout-out in a video, but after Chris begged her to be his sweetheart, she just ran with it.
** Another was Vivian, originally a white knight who was trying to help him. Of course, when he completely ignored her warnings that his sweethearts were all trolls, sent death threats to her, and refused to take any of her help, she gave up and started messing with him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreatorBreakdown Creator Breakdown]: Frequently occurs whenever the trolls get the better of Chris, resulting in "stress" (which he conveniently blames for everything that can't be excused away with his autism).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CringeComedy Cringe Comedy]: In its purest form.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment Of Awesome]: We need one of these too:
** The Father Call. What's especially awesome about it is that it certainly wasn't the first [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheReasonYouSuckSpeech The Reason You Suck Speech] Chris had ever gotten, but it ''was'' the first time Chris ever had to actually ''listen'' to one, or risk losing precious [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism china.]
** His dad telling Chris to stop his bullshit or he'll take his Internet. Go Bob!
*** Bob actually said he would cut down the internet, making him the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanNickname "Internet Lumberjack"].
** From the Asperchu Saga, Alec calls Chris out on his entire franchise, how he treats his 'fans', and Chris's grip on reality, but best of all, calmly. And of all the encounters with trolls, under reasonably legitimate pretenses. In particular, Alec telling Chris to "Man The [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PrecisionFStrike Fuck] Up"!
*** On general principles, Alec can be considered to be a walking, talking [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment Of Awesome].
** The first Jack Thaddeus call actually had Chris being the most awesome he will ever be in his entire life. First he shuts Jack up by pointing out that the mails from Miyamoto were from one of those anonymous mail sites where anyone can get any name they want, then he delivers a solid burn to Jack when Jack asks Chris why Jack's parents threw him out at 18 instead of coddling him like Chris' parents.
::"Hmm... probably because they couldn't stand you?"
*** Alright, this is one momentary speck of inspiration in a lifetime of fail, and he apologizes right after, but props go where props are due.
*** Well, this incident, as well as (a very few) others (like the time he realized that it wasn't real Stephen King who wrote fan mail to him - see [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterNameAlias Character Name Alias] above), definitely prove that Chris isn't incapable of thinking logically. Which means he has no excuse for all these times he acted like a complete idiot.
** An anonymous prostitute [[Chris and sex#Prostitution|hanging up on Chris]] when he tried to make her feel sorry for him hoping that she would have sex with him for free. Possibly the best response to his whining, ever.
** Michael Snyder [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|kicking Chris out of The GAMe PLACe]] (again).
*** Vivian made it even better in her take on it, making a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SouthPark South Park]-style cartoon to go with the audio file.
** If they are telling the truth, [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/FAQ the trolls tricking Chris into] [[:File:Copy.png|signing off his "rights" to Sonichu to CWCipedia]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny Crowning Moment Of Funny]: So many, but [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YourMileageMayVary Your Mileage May Vary]:
** Ickeriss66 and the destruction of the first medallion.
** The Jew In The Pickle Suit coming to rescue a girl that they'd set up to date Chris.
*** Possibly the same trolls getting Chris on the booze.
** The Ivy Saga, up until the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThirtyXanatosPileup Thirty Xanatos Pileup] forced trolls to abort. This came complete with Chris leaving a message on his ED page claiming that he knew Ivy was fake due to police investigation. Two months later, he's dedicated a video to the memory of Ivy, who he now thinks killed herself due to his lack of faith.
** Clyde Cash (one of the main trolls behind everything funny that has happened to Chris) got Chris to dress normally, act somewhat normal, and generally not act like himself at all, editing parts of the video to sound like Chris was faking his iconic nasal, high-pitched tone. It ends with Chris mocking famous trolls, saying he's not autistic, and works to support his parents. Many trolls [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OhCrap shat bricks], until they realized [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic Chris would have had to go to ridiculous lengths to fake what he's known for]. Even the most dedicated of trolls wouldn't have started a seven year deception.
** Case in point- Jack Chick.
*** Chris then made it quite clear by then making a video claiming ''he'' had trolled everyone. This revelation of sorts would then lead to the Liquid Chris Saga, arguably a series of CMoF, whereby [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC a guy] on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouTube YouTube] posted videos of himself posing as Chris. They were amusing (and disturbingly accurate) on their own, but how Solid Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnstoppableRage reacted] to him made it even funnier. He even got his own [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment Of Awesome] when he [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6t63XMQfg0 played "More Than A Feeling" on guitar] after the real Chris posted a video of himself playing the song on ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuitarHero Guitar Hero]''.
** The events with the impersonator culminated in Chris-chan challenging him to a ''singing contest'' in order to prove his identity as the real Chris. Yes, you did read that correctly. What makes this particularly funny is that, while the impersonator had a relatively decent voice, Chris is pretty much flat-out terrible.
*** Liquid Chris won the contest fair and square; ''one of the real Chris's appointed judges voted for the impostor''. The impostor declared himself the winner (and therefore the real Christan Weston Chandler) and excused himself from YouTube to prepare for the future. The videos and phone calls following this are unbelievable.
*** Real Chris then backpedalled and claimed the contest was never to prove who was the true CWC, despite the fact that he said it was when he started the whole thing.
** The sheer deadpan way the Audiobooks have Sonichu calm down after an anti-homosexual rant: "Instantly calmed by the promise of intercourse".
** The end of [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|fifth phone call between Chris and Alec Benson Leary]]. Chris didn't want to talk with Alec so he made up an excuse to finish the conversation ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm by impersonating his own mother]'' (not his father, curiously) ''"telling" him that he has to clean up cat poop in their kitchen''.
*** And then there was [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|the time]] when he really did have to clean up cat poop, but "slipped and made a mess".
** CWCki's [[Encyclopedia_Dramatica|page]] on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica], quoting a post Chris made to his own discussion page, potholing "Why do you hate me so much?" to "Frequently Asked Questions".
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming]: Liquid and Kacey singing "A Whole New World."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMusicOfAwesome Crowning Music Of Awesome]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxSpOob2J4w This], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be0JuT7qRQo this], and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XxM-Gysfw this]... There's a surprising amount of awesome music, really.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CursedWithAwesome Cursed With Awesome]: Chris's laziness. Why? It's the only thing stopping him from trying to sell ''Sonichu'' merchandise and getting the pants sued off of him by Nintendo and/or Sega.
** Which is a shame, cause God DAMN that would be funny to watch.
** Very arguably, the trolling if you subscribe to the cliché of it being better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all. Thanks to the trolls, Chris believes he's had several 'sweethearts', which would never have happened otherwise. Then again, since none of them fucked him he probably doesn't care.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DarkerAndEdgier Darker And Edgier]: Some fics put the series in a darker prospective, [http://sonichufinale.canalblog.com/ Sonichu Finale] in particular. More recent examples are [http://sonichu.the-comic.org/ Sonichu Is Dead] and [[Fan:The Death of Sonichu|the fic]] on which it's based.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DartboardOfHate Dartboard Of Hate]: Adam Stackhouse, winner of the Parappa contest, was a "victim" of this. Michael Snyder, who Chris tried to ''run over with his car'', was meant to be used for this as well.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DaydreamBeliever Daydream Believer]: Chris believes that all works of fiction (including Sonichu, of course) are real. And his "proof" is how various cartoon characters were shown living together in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Toon Town]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously.]
** Apply some [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic Fridge Logic] to this, and this becomes the reason he adamantly opposes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrollFic parodies or fanfics] featuring his characters: they are ''changing reality,'' and so he has to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Retcon Retcon] any relation to his canon those fics might have had.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeadBabyComedy Dead Baby Comedy]: Chris attempted this by comparing Clyde Cash's imminent downfall to ''the freaking World Trade Center attacks''. Needless to say, it failed. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InternetBacklash Horribly].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathIsCheap Death Is Cheap]: As far as it applies to real life, Chris honestly believes people who go to heaven can come back whenever. Which explains why he pleads for [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMays Billy Mays] to "come back soon". And thinks it's ok to depict the deaths of Ivy and Panda-Halo the way he did, since they didn't have any objections. That or he thinks they're just acting. Also for someone who loved his dog, he sure as hell won't let her rest in peace.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DethroningMomentOfSuck Dethroning Moment Of Suck]: Probably the worst thing to come from Chris' magic markers would be ShecameforCWC.JPG, a pornographic drawing of him and his then-friend Megan, first uploaded ''by himself'' to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] under the claim of "replacing negativity with positivity." This was evidently the final straw in a relationship already strained by stalker-ish tendencies and sexual harassment, and Megan has since moved as far away from Chris as possible. Chris doesn't seem to understand what he's done, blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for "twisting" the image against him, and has since reuploaded the picture that cost him what might have been his only friend, claiming that he "needed sexy pictures."
** For added [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm Face Palm] points, he ''still'' refers to Megan as having "broken up" with him despite her repeatedly telling him they were never together.
** There's also the infamous drawing of him having sex with three women. He has used this piece of creepy [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WishFulfillment Wish Fulfillment] as proof that he's straight.
** "Your trope has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."
** "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NauseaFuel I recycle my own semen]."
** Some of his edits to CWCipedia also qualify. Worst offenders include [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|his article about Asperger's syndrome]], [[Mailbag 29|answering Mailbags with "Whatever"]] [[Mailbag 43#Go Fuck Yourself, too!|or insults]] and [[Mailbag 49|expressing hope that gays serving in the military will die in explosions]].
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningGag Your trope has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.]
** [[CWC Blog#March 2010|Chris insulting both trolls and "Honest, True and Loyal" fans he thinks he has - the latter just because they wanted him to update his comic regularly]]. Apparently he thinks that their demands contributed to the loss of his most recent "sweetheart" on pair with trolls' actions.
** Chris making a YouTube video in which he tells his ex-"sweetheart" that she should be his girlfriend [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm because prostitutes are] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wallbanger too expensive for him]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InsaneTrollLogic And no, he isn't deliberately trying to insult her -] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatAnIdiot he actually thinks that this "revelation" will make her pity him and that she'll agree to be his girlfriend.]
** Even before Chris uploaded ShecameforCWC.JPG to ED, there was his reaction to the fact someone else won ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParappaTheRapper Parappa The Rapper]''-themed contest he participated in: he [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|insulted and wished death upon the winner and other people that got more votes]], [[CWC is Angry|filmed himself shooting a photo of the winner with a toy pistol]], [[PaRappa the Rapper contest#Aftermath|created a fake webpage showing him as the "true" winner and openly admitted in an e-mail to Sony that he wanted to win the contest because he thought Megan would have sex with him then.]]
** The nude photos. Then the tape of him with his blow-up doll.
** He also put Sonichu's comic on his resume. The saddest part? It forms 80% of his entire resume ''and'' he is very demanding about which companies would be allowed to use his makeshift franchise and which products he expects to be made out of it.
** Chris using the word "Jew" as an insult to finish the conversation while secretly recording it, then [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|releasing the audio recording of the event]], then [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|ordering the fans he thinks he has to troll Michael Snyder]], and then [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DiggingYourselfDeeper revealing in a comment to] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWq4pB_Vikw Vivian's video] that "I gave him the finger as I left for real (...) right before the final insult". And he apparently thinks it was funny.
*** Although it was something of an accomplishment for Chris that he actually did realize that the video was intended to make fun of him.
** Creation of [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)|the CWCipedia article about "The Wallflower"]], as well as pretty much all Christian's actions described in said article. He stated that trolls discovering her identity was ''her'' fault because "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger SHE HAD TO HAVE A Facebook Page with her REAL NAME and LINKS to her FanFictions on it]", and of course he isn't even remotely to blame for anything. While he was at it, he also once again proved his racism ("the Trolls HAD to stick their n***** noses into my affair"). He expected ''her'' to apologize ''to him'' for cutting off contact with him ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SarcasmMode surprisingly], she didn't do that). And he finished his article about her with the following statement: "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm Now she'll have to live the rest of her life with the recurring memory of hurting me like she did. Got-Dang Asexual Woman!]"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch Did Not Do The Research]: ''A Girl who Brought Down the World'' accurately portrays Chris as the homophobe he is. However, he is equally fearful of lesbians and homosexual men, despite it being common knowledge that IRL Chris respects the gay population-the female half, to be precise.
** At time the fic was written he liked lesbians, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbx8CBbUsnU that might not be the case anymore] (1:01-ish, if you don't want to expose yourself to too much ear rape).
** Also, Chris has no idea how copyright works; he seems to think that a character is automatically copyrighted the minute you create him, and that mashing together two existing properties makes something legally original. Additionally, he appears to believe that simply drawing a (c) next to the name qualifies them as legal copyrights.
*** Though he has ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RefugeInAudacity legally copyrighted Sonichu]''. [http://cocatalog.loc.gov/cgi-bin/Pwebrecon.cgi?Search_Arg=Sonichu&Search_Code=TALL&PID=8CvxbO0K6jQW0cyX7XU19mX&SEQ=20100105230829=25&HIST=1 Seriously, look.]
**** No, actually not. To be technical, he has merely registered when he came up with the "idea". A registering is only handy for proving that you were there first, should the case end up in a court, and they are therefore pretty cheap to acquire and is generally quickly handed out without much of a preview process. But it does not give you a full copyright, which is a longer, more complicated and expensive process.
** He also doesn't seem to know that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllAnimalsAreDogs you can't take hermit crabs for a walk].
** More recently, he is very tenacious about his belief that autism and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AspergerSyndrome Asperger Syndrome] are nothing alike, and has received several emails from people trying to convince him otherwise, to the point where he's been forced to open a new mailbag section for these emails. The sad thing is, he's started answering these emails with a generic reply [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyJustDidntCare where he basically says he doesn't care,] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger and won't listen anyway.]
*** He also believes that "Asperger's" sounding vaguely like "Assburgers" or "Assboogers" is a legitimate reason for disparaging it. When a letter writer confronted him about this, Chris's only response was to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm make fun of the letter writer's name as well.]
** The best example from his Asperger's vendetta would have to be his proclomation that he "helped cultivate the first generation of autistic people". [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoYeah Yeah.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DiggingToChina Digging To China]: Not used in the normal sense, but it is bizzare just how low Chris will go in order to score.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DiggingYourselfDeeper Digging Yourself Deeper]: Much of what is known about Chris was not gained through hidden cameras or in-depth investigating, but [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooMuchInformation volunteered by the man himself] in what was probably an attempt to get the trolling to stop. In other cases, Chris will casually mention in a chat session something that most reasonable people would keep to themselves. For example: Clyde Cash brought up pictures of Chris wearing his mother's undergarments (which only existed due to blackmail), and Chris responded by revealing his severe incontinence. Strangely, Chris doesn't seem at all embarrassed by this, and only gets upset after direct insults.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoesNotLikeMen Does Not Like Men]: Chris hates the entire male population for stealing all the women; excluding himself, his father and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GeorgeWBush George W. Bush], or as he likes to put it, 0,000000000004% of the male population (4% times 10 to the power of -12). Given the present population of the Earth, such a percentage would equal significantly less than one complete person.
** This makes his homophobia quite ironic, because, logically, if every man but him, his father, and Dubya were gay, he wouldn't have to worry about women already having boyfriends.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoesNotLikeSpam Does Not Like Pickles]: Chris vehemently dislikes pickles because they remind him of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudWasRight a certain male body part]. This hatred is incorporated into the comics, serving as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeaksauceWeakness Weaksauce Weakness] for Sonichu and a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BerserkButton Berserk Button] for Rosechu.
** This is also because one of the more famous trolls is simply known as "The man in the pickle suit". Ever since he popped up, pickle hatred has run rampant!
** This actually stems from when he was first discovered by a certain imageboard. They originally were just mocking his art, and a troll decided to pretend to do some "fan art" of Sonichu and mail it to Chris out of "admiration." Most importantly was a picture of Rosechu depicted with a penis, which Chris strongly objected to. However, Chris for some reason has an aversion to that word, and absolutely refuses to use it, or any other common phrases to refer to the penis. He instead refers to his own as his "duck" (no, that is not a typo), and refers to others as "pickles." When he saw the picture of Rosechu with a penis, he '''freaked the fuck out,''' and demanded that the troll, who Chris honestly still believed was a fan at this point, that he draw Rosechu again without a "freakin pickle!" The troll responded by sending a picture of Rosechu holding a ''literal'' pickle in her hand. Chris was not amused in the slightest, and the rest is history.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm Does Not Understand Sarcasm]: Chris has a remarkable inability to tell when he's being insulted; any insult that's not outright calling him a name tends to fly right over his head. Some outstanding examples are his edits to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] and CWCki where the facts that the doesn't edit are obviously sarcastic insults, proudly showing off his letter that was printed in Nintendo Power despite it almost certainly having been posted for people to laugh at, and his Screwattack Europe interview, with Guru Larry dropping lines like "Yes, you are indeed a role model to us heterosexuals" or "Yes, I often get people confused with fictional characters" while Chris just stares blankly.
** This may be due to his autism more than anything else, leaving him incapable of detecting sarcasm and instead taking everything he hears at face value. Hilariously, this extends to the newly opened mailbag section on CWCpedia where Chris answers reader mail, although he has a separate section for "hatemail" or otherwise disruptive messages that he still refuses to ignore, and even answers some of them as sincerely as he can (including advice for buying sex toys).
*** Of course, he now just deletes the mails he doesn't like, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hypocrite and then claims that he is better than Alec and others because he doesn't censor mail].
**** Or [[Mailbag 50|makes up his own "mailbag"]] by publishing some posts from Sonichu [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fan] forum (that, in his opinion, praise him) rather than answering actual emails. Obviously, he fails to realize that these posts also actually mock him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandard Double Standard]: Alec points out Chris' double standard in him hating gay people because of an incident (that he may have been lying about) when he himself does lots of creepy, hateful things which by his logic should put people off straight and/or autistic people. Also, he states that the Bible tells people to shun gay people, even though it also condemns magic, which Chris (believes to) use all the time.
** There's also [[Mailbag 54|a mailbag message]] where a reader calls him out on his homophobia by explaining how much he hates autistic people for the way they speak awkwardly and how their minds can't function properly to illustrate a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoubleStandard Double Standard]. Par for the course, Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint completely misses the point] by explaining that he himself [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlatantLies has no trouble speaking or thinking clearly], and calls the poster [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hypocrite an ignorant bigot].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DracoInLeatherPants Draco In Leather Pants]: Mary Lee Walsh is portrayed in trollfics as a beautiful, benevolent woman intent on destroying the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WretchedHive Wretched Hive] / [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny People's Republic Of Tyranny] that is CWCville. The real Mrs. Walsh isn't particularly glamorous, but she seems to be a pretty good college dean.
** Her ''Sonichu Finale'' portrayal mixes this with a good helping of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DarkIsNotEvil Dark Is Not Evil]. Finale!Mary has a mischievous streak in her as well as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AGodAmI god complex] (that is neither particularly illogical given her power nor anywhere near as massive as Chris-chan's in ''Sonichu'' proper), and yet she is still a very compassionate woman who cannot even bring herself to kill Chris when she has the chance.
*** Doesn't help that it was Christopher asking her to kill him. Christopher is a semi-decent person trapped in the body of a stark-raving mad godmanchild, only able to get out during brief moments of lucidity. She wouldn't be killing Christian with her bare hands, she'd be killing Christopher.
** Kacey's dad. Disgustingly homophobic, but he sure puts Chris in his place, and... and that ''voice''!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DreamingOfThingsToCome Dreaming Of Things To Come]: According to Chris, "it was fortold [sic] unto me in multiple dreams" that he would one day be the father of Crystal Weston Chandler, lending divine credence to his Love Quest. He has also been told by GodJesus that several of his internet girlfriends were the future mother of Crystal, which caused him to look like even more of an ass when they revealed themselves as (mostly male) trolls.
** That also could mean that even Jesus is trolling him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DrivenToSuicide Driven To Suicide]: The trolls use this card quite a bit. First off, Ryan Cash's <strike>fake</strike> suicide over Chris threatening to stop making comics was Clyde Cash's motivation for becoming head of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AncientConspiracy The Miscreants] and trolling Chris. After months of trolling did little to affect his target, Clyde followed in his little brother's footsteps and <strike>pretended to have</strike> shot himself in the head. * Really, one of the other trolls, Ching Chong, thought that Clyde had [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterDerailment derailed] his persona somewhat when he started claiming that he really wanted to help Chris and suggested that Clyde killing himself would be the best course of action. After ''that'', Chris would later hear that Ivy had killed herself after he broke up with her when he found out she wasn't real. The comics are also the leading cause of suicide in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKxKg4c_J4c plush hamsters].
** In January 2010 Chris drove [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fan] [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|named Mike Jackson]] to suicide. Being the kind, caring man that he is, Chris responded to the news about his "death" [[Mailbag_52|with a copy-pasted message]].
*** Not just any copy-pasted message, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheyJustDidntCare a copy-pasted message that didn't even fit in context].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DrowningMySorrows Drowning My Sorrows]: There are hints that this is how Chris spends his lonely evenings, at least when he's not playing video games or masturbating. Alcohol might explain [[6 June 2010|why he thought stalking Michael Snyder would be a great idea]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DudeNotFunny Dude Not Funny]: One infamous video has Chris mocking the DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER. Thanks to the massive [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InternetBacklash Internet Backlash], it was taken down the next day.
** Of course, Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger then tries to justify his horrendous actions] by saying that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint he was only trying to show how weak Clyde was].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DysfunctionJunction Dysfunction Junction]: A [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WikiWalk Wiki Walk] reveals that the Chandler family isn't exactly the best you could hope for. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudianExcuse Might explain a bit].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Egopolis Egopolis]: In troll fics, CWCville is often presented as one of the authoritarian style.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EnsembleDarkhorse Ensemble Darkhorse]: Bob Chandler (Christian's geriatric father) is amazingly popular with trolls, despite arguably being ''worse'' than Chris. Most of his popularity derives from his infamous threat of "cuttin' [the family's internet] down", hence his nickname "The Lumberjack".
** Cole Smithy (Chris's maternal half-brother). Considering that Cole has a happy marriage with a hot wife and a steady job at Rotten Tomatoes, Cole is considered everything Chris would be if he were a functioning member of society.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpicFail Epic Fail]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement Oh dear! Oh so many, many things...] In fact, it would be wise to consider Christian Weston Chandler's mere existence as the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropeCodifier Trope Codifier]. Some people have even commented that he IS the personification and embodiment of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThisIsSparta PURE. CRYSTALLIZED. FAIL.] He is the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GiftedlyBad loser's] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible loser's] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleofThree loser] - just look at [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DavidGonterman Daveykins's] quote at the top of the article if you have any doubt, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeOurWordForIt and that's all coming from a 30+ year old man who lives with his parents writing and drawing poorly wrote, poorly drawn comics and fan fiction.]
** Special mention must be given to any of the videos where Chris tries to show off his physical prowess, by doing Herculean tasks like [[11042009 51 50|struggling to lift soda boxes,]] [[30 Push-Ups|almost doing fake pushups,]] or [[Sonichu's Edge|stopping six times to catch his breath in a three minute jog.]]
** Special mention should go to Chris's recent attempt to vandalize the CWCki, which, as usual for Chris, failed.
** Chris tried to paint Michael Snyder as an unreasonable bigoted jackass for refusing to let Chris back to THe GAMe PLACe and tried to get his Internet legions to harass him. Instead, Chris himself comes across as the intolerant jackass, throwing out the word "Jew" as an insult, and now Michael Snyder faces heaps of personal fans, most likely offering to buy him drinks and play at his shop.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EscalatingWar Escalating War]: The Ad Saga on CWCipedia has become one of these. Trolls put gay ads in the sidebar, Chris changes his monitor resolution so he won't have to look at them. Trolls put BIG ads in the middle of the front page so he can't miss them, and he creates his own version of the front page so he doesn't have to look at them. The trolls invest in banner ads that appear on every page of the site...
** A dispute over a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fan] character involved CWCipedia going down, then coming back with an Asperchu comic named ''Sonichu Revolution'' about copyright infrigement in place of the ads, and then Chris having comic book versions of Asperpedia guys tortured and killed in his comic. In response Asperpedia team gave ad space on CWCipedia back to Jack Thaddeus, and soon after that gay ads were back.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenEvilHasStandards Even Evil Has Standards]: Bluespike managed to force some trolls-the same trolls that had tricked Chris into taking pictures of himself in his mother's underwear-to feel sorry for the manchild about forty minutes into his hour long confrontation.
** Vivian's commentary for the end of issue #6 just kinda trails off, since there's nothing particularly funny about someone missing a beloved pet.
** Not to mention the backlash that came from the "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DudeNotFunny Twin Falling Towers]" video.
** And of course, see the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DavidGonterman David Gonterman] quote above.
*** No, seriously. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DavidGonterman David Gonterman] wrote what some people ''still'' call the worst Fanfic online. He ''knows'' what's it like to be trolled, and he's been proven to be a stand-up guy regardless, especially in recent years. And Chris-chan is even making ''him'' shake his head? That's a Real Life [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Moral Event Horizon] sign there.
** It's essentially an unwritten rule amongst the trolls that Megan Schroeder should ''never'' be contacted about anything regarding CWC, as it is known she is still quite disturbed by what happened.
** 'The Wallflower', Chris's latest gal-pal, originally had a quite in-depth page on the CWCki. When she personally contacted the sysop asking that irrelevant information be removed and the page be rewritten under a pseudonym, the requested changes were quickly made.
** In early 2010 a (possibly newbie) [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SomethingAwful Something Awful] Goon tried to make a thread on Chris around and included his own encounter with him, he was greeted with post after post of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SarcasmMode "Yeah, torturing the mentally disabled is really fun!"]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenTheGuysWantHim Even The Guys Want Him]/[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StupidSexyFlanders Stupid Sexy Flanders]: This is what Chris actually believes. [[Mailbag 22#The implications of this are staggering|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
** Played straight (no pun intended) with Liquid Chris and Kacey's Dad, Matthew.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenNerdsHaveStandards Even Nerds Have Standards]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FurryFandom Furries], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SomethingAwful Goons], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImageBoards *Channers], pretty much ''every'' subculture and community on the internet that is aware of Chris-chan uses him as a reference to the lowest of the low. He's quite possibly ''the'' rock bottom of the Internet totem pole.
** Don't be silly... he's '''waaay''' [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DiggingToChina below the bottom].
*** Even people with Autism and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AspergerSyndrome Asperger Syndrome] will have nothing to do with him, also being fully aware of what Chris Chan has done in life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilCounterpart Evil Counterpart]: Liquid Chris is the ''good counterpart''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilVersusEvil Evil Versus Evil]: On the one hand you've got an absolutely vile person who's a bigot (called Tito a NIGGER ''several times'', and threw "Jew" at Michael Snyder like it was an insult), a homophobe (stating that they deserve to die by stepping on land mines), and a <strike>borderline</strike> complete sociopath among other evils, but let's face it, his opponents aren't really much better than a gaggle of schoolyard bullies. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DarknessInducedAudienceApathy It's really hard to root for anyone at this point.] Nevertheless, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RootingForTheEmpire trolls still have way more supporters than Chris ever will.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm Face Palm]: LITERALLY. EVERYTHING. WILL. MAKE. YOU. FACEPALM. To the point that the PVCC forums have ''SIX facepalm emoticons''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FailedASpotCheck Failed A Spot Check]: Chris complained that Alec chopped off his head in ''Sonichu Revolution'' (which is one reason why he so brutally killed Alec in his own comic), and Alec pointed out that Comic!Chris was completely fine, and that he was only acting. Chris said that it could have been more obvious. The comic literally has Comic!Chris in one piece the very next panel saying don't worry, he's fine, he was just acting.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamousAncestor Famous Ancestor]: [[MySpace messages#Jalena|Christian claimed]] that he's descended from Anne <strike>Boleyn</strike> Bolyn... whose only daughter was Queen Elizabeth I, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheVirginQueen The Virgin Queen]. He later backpedaled on that and claimed that [[Mumble 1|somehow Anne was his ancestor "in an aunt sort of sense"]] and that he's really descended from Mary <strike>Boleyn</strike> Boylen. Anyway, [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|he says that's why there should be an article about him on Wikipedia]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Fanon Fanon]: Where all of the characterization comes from.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FatBastard Fat Bastard]: Chris, of course. Though many might say that obesity is ''the least'' of his problems...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FeigningIntelligence Feigning Intelligence]: [[Mailbag 54|In Mailbag 54]] Chris tried to show how smart he is, claiming that he knows the words ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/antidisestablishmentarianism antidisestablishmentarianism]'' and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MaryPoppins supercalifragilisticexpialidocious]''. Incidentally, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShlubbAndKlumpEnglish he misspelled both these words].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FetishFuel Fetish Fuel]: Mary Lee Walsh, as portrayed in troll comics. Also, Crystal Weston Chandler, the imaginary twin sister of Chris.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FetishRetardant Fetish Retardant]: How about a sex vid, several pictures of his dick, official [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Rule34 Rule 34] or a video where Chris demonstrates how he would pleasure a woman orally? '''For your own sanity, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeOurWordForIt Take Our Word For It].'''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlexingThoseNonBiceps Flexing Those Non Biceps]: Chris in the "I AM STRONG" video.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FoeYay Foe Yay]: Christian's hatred of Mary Lee Walsh didn't stop him from drawing a pornographic picture of her.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ForcefulKiss Forceful Kiss]: [[Emily#Kiss fail|Chris tried to do this at the end of his "date" with Emily]]. Fortunately, he failed.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudianExcuse Freudian Excuse]: Chris tried to justify his homophobia claiming that it was caused by [[Bruce Johnson|the (allegedly) homosexual principal of his elementary school who made him sit on his lap]]. Of course, he contradicted himself later, admitting that [[Common Questions#07 January 2010|he started to hate homosexual people after one woman refused to go out with him, claiming she's lesbian]].
** Chris is arguably an inversion, as his massive ego seems to stem from the coddling by his mother, and the lazy attitudes of his father.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeHorror Fridge Horror]: When you see all the acts that Chris's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] does, and compare him to the real person, you'll realize that, in a way, ''this comic is his incredbily twisted wish fulfillment, this is exactly how he wants the people he hates to die''.
** ''Imagine what would happen if he actually had that kind of power.''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FrivolousLawsuit Frivolous Lawsuit]: He threatened to sue Liquid Chris and ViviG for "selling" ''Sonichu'' merchandise. Because, you know, he clearly owns the rights to his derivative character.
** Subverted with one 'fan', who just got fed up with all this and contacted [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sega Sega] directly. No results yet.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheFundamentalist The Fundamentalist]: Chris is quick to condemn homosexuals to the fires of hell, but like many fundamentalists is blind to his own transgressions in the eyes of God - he draws pornography, masturbates to pre-existing lesbian porn, threatens to murder people, has made getting laid the focus of his existence, and wears an idol around his neck almost all the time. The CWCki offers a [[Chris and religion|fascinating study]] of his religious beliefs.
::"''I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO KILL JASON KENDRICK HOWELL!''"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FutureLoser Future Loser]: While he was never sucsessful to begin with, Chris is a pathetic shell of his former, high-school self. And given that he does nothing, he'll undoubtely become a transient, if not die early from his terrible eating habits.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Gaslighting Gaslighting]: Liquid Chris. It counts because the target, albeit already mentally defective, became ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeyondTheImpossible more]'' mentally defective.
** And naturally, most fanworks continue this tradition by having Liquid Chris as Christian Weston Chandler and Regular/Solid Chris as Ian Brandon Anderson.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GiftedlyBad Giftedly Bad]: Chris seriously believes that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo his writing and artwork are masterful] and thinks his artistic "talent" is comparable to that of <strike>Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci</strike> Michalanglo and DeVinci, all the while lambasting ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' for its ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StylisticSuck intentionally]) offensive writing and bad artwork (which are still better than his own).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GirlOnGirlIsHot Girl On Girl Is Hot]: Despite his homophobia, Chris is okay with lesbians, mostly because he can masturbate to them.
** Let's remember a few things. He hates gay men because they're gay; he hates straight men (except his dad) because they're straight and take away boyfriend-free girls; he hates asexuals for reasons currently unknown; and he loves lesbians, because they're gay and take otherwise single girls. His hypocrisy is an endless void filled just as infinitely with flawed logic, and he may never understand.
*** Also, in a mailbag where it was pointed out that logically the more gay men there were mean't there would be more single women around, Chris replied that it would make no difference to him. He also has pointed out he began hating the gay population when a woman turned him down because apparently she was a lesbian.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GlassesPull Glasses Pull]: While not always having to do with trolls, Chris dramatically takes off his glasses in his YouTube videos whenever he wants to make a point. This results in him occasionally putting them back on only to dramatically whip them off again.
** Which is a bit hard to take seriously when you have a strap for them.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodwinsLaw Godwin's Law]: One of ads makes Chris-Chan out to be like Hitler for his propaganda. Though that's a low blow.
** Yeah. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InsultToRocks Hitler had a girlfriend and a job.] Chris is a rabidly antisemitic psychopathic misogynistic small minded prick with a messiah complex. Godwin's Law is only bad when its not completely accurate.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoshDangItToHeck Gosh Dang It To Heck]: [[CWC-isms]], which include terms such as "Duck", "Comeuppance", and the most famous of all, "China".
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Greed Greed]: While Chris [[Chris_and_money|doesn't care much about money]], he's quite obviously obsessed with acquiring material possessions, [[List of Chris's games|particularly]] [[Card games|various]] [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads|games]], [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|videos]] and [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toys]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GreedyJew Greedy Jew]: In Christian's mind, [[Michael Snyder]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuiltyPleasure Guilty Pleasure]: Is anyone actually proud to admit that they follow the life of Christian Weston Chandler? Probably not, but it's still very entertaining.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HappyPlace Happy Place]: CWCville, to a large extent. It seems strange that Mr. Chandler would put his mortal enemies in there with him, but this at least makes it possible for him to defeat them. To outside observers, on the other hand, CWCville is strongly reminiscent of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SilentHill Silent Hill]'', a place of mutated monsters that fight and rut for their creator's amusement
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today]: ''All the friggin time!'' Even Sonichu started doing it in episode 20.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeyItsThatGuy Hey, It's That Guy!]: Guru Larry from [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses That Guy With The Glasses], formerly a part of ScrewAttack as ScrewAttack Europe, is in the trolling scene and has even [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScrewAttackEurope interviewed Chris].
** More recently, another e-famous Briton (Harry Partridge, better known as HappyHarry, the creator of ''Saturday Morning Watchmen'' and ''Hal the Misinterpretive Porn Star'') has shown his true colours with [[:Image:HappyHarryRosechu.jpg|this]] wonderful piece of fanart.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighOctaneNightmareFuel High Octane Nightmare Fuel]: It's quite easy to send ''Sonichu'' into this territory, and the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DarkerAndEdgier darker] fanfics easily qualify. One that comes to mind is [http://vivig.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Brought-Down-World-CH1-5-102863247 A Girl who Brought Down the World], which is based more upon the author himself than the actual series. Told from the view of a young girl (at least at first), this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NaNoWriMo NaNoWriMo] project shows what just might happen should anyone as insane as Chris get into power. It's... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParanoiaFuel worrisome].
** The fanfic "[[Fan:Chris Gets Laid|Chris Gets Laid]]." ''Especially'' the beginning. The whole thing is filled to the brim with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighOctaneNightmareFuel High Octane Nightmare Fuel], but how it starts is just... ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick oh god]''.
*** Recommended listening during the reading session is, of course, entries from the ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SilentHill Silent Hill]'' soundtrack. "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkvJY-YfELs Betrayal]" works well for the climax.
** Vivian's video "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTTe-1wpYfI please...why...please...why...why...]", an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MindRape intensely disturbing] theory about what's going on in Chris' head concerning the Megan Saga.
*** Not to mention "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vjzm4MtkRbw Halloween 09 is cancelled :(]." Short but HORRIFYING.
** One must wonder what the trolls posing as Chris's sweethearts must deal with. While his displays of affection are creepy enough, imagine being the one actually ''receiving'' them. His declarations of love seem to get crazier over time too: for example, compare [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFZGe_qYct4 this video for Julie] to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zWvJ6xOcio this one for Ivy], which was made about a month later. And that's not including his videos aimed at Kacey...
** One video has him playing out a revenge fantasy on camera where he proceeds to play out slitting [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll Clyde Clash's] throat with an actual knife.
** Then there's his [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB0KPHqjwZw Creepy Stare.]
** Hell, pretty much everything Chris Chandler does or says ends up being [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighOctaneNightmareFuel High Octane Nightmare Fuel] in some form or another.
** Perhaps the biggest piece of HONF with Chandler, however, is the fairly-recently-come-to-light way about how he [[Chris and reality#Outside of the comics|perceives reality]]. He doesn't think of cartoons and the like as a storytelling medium; he is convinced that all of them, ''including his own work'', exists in a ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Who Framed Roger Rabbit]''-esque Toonland, coexistant to physical reality. This is why he gets so enraged at people who write Sonichu "fanfic" and whatnot, because he perceives this as ''altering reality''. Why is this nightmare fuel? Well, hell, just think about it from his perspective: CWC lives in a world where not just he but ''anyone'' can change the consensus reality ''with the mere power of thought and words''. He essentially lives in an MCEscher painting. Is it any wonder he's so messed up?
*** What makes it really scary is if he really does think all these fictional characters exist, that would by extension make him a mass-murderer.
** This [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHfZ9XCMUQQ video], which looks like it should be the intro for a documentary about Chris-Chan.
** There's something... disturbing in his [[:File:445-SonicTotem.JPG|papier-mâché Sonic's eyes]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilariousInHindsight Hilarious In Hindsight]: In the [http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/liw.htm Lost in Wal-Mart Choose Your Own Adventure, At Your Own Pace], one of the endings has Chris becoming a Juggalo after fancying a Wal-Mart employee's Hatchet Man medallion. Eventually, Chris released [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YWgTHW2NAg this video].
** Another [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilariousInHindsight Hilarious In Hindsight] moment (or [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FunnyAneurysmMoment Funny Aneurysm Moment], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YourMileageMayVary Your Mileage May Vary]) is when Chris says that he didn't have a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathNote Death Note] in a video made shortly after the death of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMays BILLY MAYS]. In an email to Vivian, he says "HAVE A GODDAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THE MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!"
*** Which is made weirder in hindsight when you realize that despite writing this to her, [[CWC Blog#14 March 2010|he still considers her to be his friend (or as he puts it, "gal-pal")]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HollywoodToneDeaf Hollywood Tone Deaf]: Chris really cannot sing to save his life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePornMovie Home Porn Movie]: Chris declared that [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|he will film himself having sex with a woman for the first (and maybe second) time, and then upload the video on the internet]] so he can finally prove to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll troll]s that HE IS STRAIGHT! Proving that is so important to him, that, if necessary, [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|he will film the event without his partner's knowledge and consent]]. And that's not even getting into his previous sex tape of him sharing an intimate moment with a sex doll while shouting Julie's name...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HurlItIntoTheSun Hurl It Into The Sun]: This is what Chris wants to do to the tobacco supply in earth.
** Actually, now he wants to dump it all on the moon since "[...][http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger the smell from all that [tobacco]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm would likely emit from the giant star] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpaceDoesNotWorkThatWay and stink up our Galaxy]."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hypocrite Hypocrite]: Chris at one point whined about how the winner in a contest he participated in should have been disqualified for breaking the contest rules and then ''admitted to trying to stuff the ballot box in the very same email''. He later sent a complaint to the company about contest participants he thought had violated the rules, saying "It's not a matter of jealousy or loss; it's the principal of rule violations. Justice will be done to the seven people involved in the four violating videos..." The astounding thing is not so much his hypocrisy as the sheer off-handedness with which he admits to cheating immediately after whining about how the contest winner broke the rules, as if he has no clue how such behavior [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkAss makes him look].
** Furthermore, he is outraged when people steal his characters. If he steals from [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Nintendo Nintendo], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sega Sega], or anyone else, though... that's licensed parody.
** Chris is a massive hypocrite, often telling people one thing in order to get with their good graces (e.g. saying he doesn't have a problem with gay people when fans threaten to abandon the comic) and ''immediately'' contradicting it (e.g. saying he doesn't have a problem with gay people at the start of a video, and spending the rest of the video bashing gay people. It's possible that at least part of this is due to the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrutalHonesty Brutal Honesty] mentioned above; it's the clash between Chris's desire to suck up to his fans and his complete inability to control what comes out of his mouth). In fact, let's just say this: When Chris extols the virtues of Truth and Honesty, it's ''his version of the truth'' and ''what he honestly hopes the other guy will believe.''
*** Similarly, he brings up how Michael Snyder is a Jewish name, brings up how he doesn't have anything against Jews (which, given that he brought up the subject in the first place, is suspect), then ends the video using "Jew" as an insult like he was [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SouthPark Eric Cartman].
** The Mailbag feature on his website is a goldmine for Chris' golden nuggets of hypocrisy, as trolls feed him constantly with messages asking for advice, which Chris is more than happy to dispense but never actually take into consideration himself. He frequently lambasts the posters for being immature and telling them to grow up (when he himself [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManChild still lives with his parents, spends all of his money on toys and video games and acts like an angry five-year-old when he can't get his way]), get a job (while he has only managed to hold a job for two months of his entire life) and stop using his characters without his permission (but he will not hesitate to copy "fan"-characters and change them* i.e. remove any personality they may have had without bothering to ask first, and will stubbornly claim that the character was his all along when someone calls him out on it, even if that someone is the creator of that character) and slandering him (whereas he is quite content with drawing cartoonish, demonized versions of the people who antagonize him, on the internet as well as real life, and then drawing himself [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DisproportionateRetribution ruining their lives and/or killing them brutally]).
*** As an added bonus, the reason why he thinks he has so much power over Sonichu fan-characters is because he has a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DidNotDoTheResearch Copyright] for Sonichu. So that means ''his'' mashup is perfectly acceptable in the face of two giant corporations, while nobody but him is allowed to do anything ''Sonichu''-related if he doesn't approve of it.
** Chris called ''Asperchu'' "Vulgar Fanfiction", despite he himself writing a series that takes place in some combination universe of Pokemon and Sonic, with various characters having sex and talking dirty.
** http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic10P98.jpg This "ad." (Hotlinking redirected to a virus, copy-paste the address) Yes, that's a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz Captain Ersatz]. Talking about how ripping off is wrong. Chris sees nothing wrong with this.
*** Be fair; A [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz Captain Ersatz] isn't a ripoff, it's an homage. Chris doesn't use ersatzen because he thinks he's being original rather than knowing he's basing things on other things as a tribute.
**** Then how about Chris using not a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaptainErsatz Captain Ersatz] [[:File:Bugsbunny.jpg|but the Bugs Bunny himself]] to condemn <strike>a troll pretending to be</strike> Jimmy Hill for "stealing" ''Sonichu''?
** Christian expects women to accept the fact that he's autistic and love him anyway... but at the same time [[:File:IwouldntfeelcomfortableMySpace.jpg|he made it clear that he wouldn't be interested in dating autistic women]]. He even noted: "Although I, myself, am High-Functionally Autistic, but that's beside the point", with no hint of him realizing his hypocrisy.
*** He doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a beautiful and obedient <strike>sex slave</strike> <strike>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudWasRight mother]</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick sex slave and mother combined].
*** In fact, the whole subject of Christian's attitude towards other people with autism/Asperger syndrome/physical deformities etc. is a goldmine of his hypocrisy. Chris uses his autism as a crutch and feels it entitles him to being a recipient of everyone's pity and admiration; at the same time, he gladly admits that he doesn't like to associate with other people with autism, especially people with low-functioning autism, because "[[IRC (17 December 2008)|it would be like looking through a window to hell to me]]", which is why he doesn't want to volunteer to help them. His views about people with facial deformities that make it impossible for them to speak clearly or people with Asperger syndrome [[Mailbag 5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|are]] [[Mailbag 11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|vomit-]][[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|inducing]] as well.
** Don't forget how he whines and rages about the trolls "ruining" his life while himself is an horrendous troll who doesn't hesitate to insult, menace, curse and even (attempt to) vandalize other people's sites just because they don't give him blind praise or refuse to obey his selfish demands like good, obedient SLAVES. He also [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean#Description|asks his "TRUE and LOYAL fanbase" to troll people he doesn't like]].
|}

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Tropes found in Trolling, Trollfics, and RealLife: I-P
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* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKnowMortalKombat I Know Mortal Kombat]: You could call [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXMP1XmD-cg this] a pretty spectacular aversion. The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS_z-kM64rM fan] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKXtDWOuL4U remixes] are almost as good.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImYourBiggestFan I'm Your Biggest Fan]: [[Robert Simmons V]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IneffectualDeathThreats Ineffectual Death Threats]: Again, all the freaking time!
** "I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!!"
** '''"DIIIIIEEEE YOOOOOOUUUU!"'''
** "ENNNNNNNNGH! I'll '''SSSTRANGLE''' that Clyde Cash!"
** One of the most unsettling examples is him apparently threatening to kill Youtube user vivitheg and her family. Why? She made audiobooks of the comics, with annotations that mock the various plotholes, inconsistencies and so on. Chris only really noticed them when she announced that DVDs of the audiobooks would be released, and that's when he started raging over her trying to make money off of ''Sonichu''. This was then followed up with Vivian leaking an e-mail he sent to her, in which he wished for her to die of a "goddamn heart attack".
** I'm not afraid to '''SHOW MY FANGS!!!'''
** He has also [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|threatened]] the creator of Asperchu by saying that the ''spirit of his dead dog was going to enter his dreams and eat his soul.''
** He's also tried to threaten CWCki... [[CWC Blog#14 March 2010|with a knife]]. The worst thing is that Chris is convinced that his latest ex-"sweetheart's" personal information was removed from CWCki because CWCki people were scared of his earlier threats.* The truth is that the woman herself demanded its removal. This "victory" will probably lead Chris to resort to threats more often in the future, and to make his threats more violent.
*** And here we go: "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|I will find you, I will cut you up, I will beat you up, I will knock you on your backside, stand on your gut like a log roller, and roll your fat right through your skull! Blow it wide open!]]"
** "I am going to SHOVE YOUR ASS, DOWN YOUR THROAT, and MAKE you EAT YOUR '''''UNDERWEAAAAR'''''!"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InspirationallyDisadvantaged Inspirationally Disadvantaged]: So, so, so averted.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InternetBackdraft Internet Backdraft]: A troll convinced a thirteen-year-old kid to fake being a woman and call Chris. Chris, like with many other "Gal-Pals", got an obsession with "her", and the events that followed lead to phone sex and a leaked sex video (don't worry - it's Chris and his blow-up doll pretending the doll to be the kid, when he didn't learn of the gender). When some of the trolls found out about the age, there was a huge troll backdraft... and it was on [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica ED] of all places.
** Not to mention "Twin Falling Towers."
** Chris using the N-word to insult Surfshack Tito also pissed off trolls. In fact, it might have been one of the main reasons why trolls decided to vandalize CWCipedia.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InternetMimic Internet Mimic]: A very large number of trolls imitate his rather... ''unique'' style of writing which usually consists of: ALL CAPS AT ANY MOMENT THAT NEEDS STRONG EMOTION, Capitalizing Every Important Part Of A Sentence, using certain phrases repeatedly as if they were proper nouns* "I do not listen to those who overreact and condescend to me with LOUD Tones and '''Harshest Attitudes'''." and aping his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism 'CWC-isms'].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InternetToughGuy Internet Tough Guy]: He has threatened people with [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FrivolousLawsuit Frivolous Lawsuit]s and Curse-ye-hamehas because they mocked him or plagiarized his work. It doesn't work if the work is derived from another Intellectual Property.
** Now Chris has switched a gear and directly menaces people with brutally killing them with his ridiculously tiny knife. It ''still'' doesn't works because Chris is a well known real-life coward who immediately begs, whines and backpedals at the first sign of danger.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Irony Irony]: It's rather strange that Chris, nominally a devout Christian, is a fan of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'', a series which has been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement downright vitriolic towards religion in general, most specifically Christianity].
** Not to mention how a Season 9 episode of ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyGuy Family Guy]'' delivered a not-so-subtle message against people like Chris.
** Another to add on is that as much as Chris hates gay men, he hates [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoesNotLikeMen men in general] for "taking all the pretty girls away with none for him to choose from." If there were more gay men, he wouldn't have this problem, now would he?
*** He wouldn't have the problem of women brushing him off with claims of boyfriends, you mean. He'd still have the problem of being an astoundingly creepy narcissist harboring violent revenge fantasies of everyone who has ever crossed him (in reality or his mind) and an apparent lack of boundaries with women he's sexually infatuated with. For some reason, women have trouble getting past that part.
*** In one of the Mailbags, someone actually told Chris that if there were more gay men, he would have less romantic rivals. [[Mailbag 22#The implications of this are staggering|Chris claimed that still wouldn't help him, because... well... yeah]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItsAllAboutMe It's All About Me]: How about the fact that Chris only started ''Sonichu'' the comic series as an accomplishment he could brag about to potential girlfriend candidates, and in fact appears in said comic as the main character's father, the mayor of the city where most of the action takes place, as well as his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sue] alter-ego with ridiculous [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ComboPlatterPowers Combo Platter Powers] and a Transformer for a car? And this is only the premise...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItGotWorse It Got Worse]: Initially, /v/ only knew two things about Chris. He made a horrible fancomic, and he stalked girls at the mall. Now the trolling has a separate board dedicated to trolling Chris and an entire wiki documenting his life. This happened in the space of a few years.
** Also, Chris-chan's life in general.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkassWoobie Jerkass Woobie]: On one hand, Chris is a horribly prejudiced individual with delusions of grandeur and is completely out of touch with reality and other people, while on the other he does seem to have genuine problems that Trolls absolutely delight in taking advantage of and enjoy tormenting far in excess in what he deserves if they would have just ignored him. However, it gets harder and harder to feel sorry for him the more you read about him.
** Chris ''wants'' to be [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie The Woobie], (in fact, he seems to think the best way to get a girlfriend is to get women to date him out of pity) but it [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement doesn't quite work.] In fact, one reason the CWCki seems to exist is to make sure that no one is fooled by Chris's "poor me" act by presenting and preserving all his abhorrent behavior.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EnsembleDarkhorse Bob] could also qualify as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkassWoobie Jerkass Woobie]. A redneck racist and homophobic (he grew up before the Civil Rights Movement, unlike Chris), two of his children want nothing to do with him, the youngest refuses to move out or do anything at all to better himself, and he's stuck in a bad marriage with the youngest's mother. Not to mention that he has to put up with trolling ''and'' being plastered over the internet by his idiot son. He seems to be genuinely lonely as well, based on his interactions with trolls.
*** Although given what we know about both Bob and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhiteSheep one of his sons], it's likely that the kids are perfectly justified in wanting nothing to do with the sod.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JustifyingEdit Justifying Edit]: The CWCki will often have sections of pages that will try to explain the contents of the article. For example, they say that Chris's incredibly hypocritical look at the Bible is probably due to his priest (the only authority he acknowledges) being incredibly liberal when it comes to alternate interpretations.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Kayfabe Kayfabe]: For example, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BillyMays Billy Mays] from PVCC is <strike>not</strike> dead and was <strike>not</strike> replaced by Anthony Sullivan, Ryan and Clyde Cash did <strike>not</strike> kill themselves, Liquid Chris is <strike>an impostor</strike> the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, and Solid Chris is <strike>Christian Weston Chandler</strike> an impostor called Ian Brandon <strike>Anderson</strike> [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OverlyLongGag Something].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KickTheDog Kick The Dog]: Chris does this on a regular basis.
** A prime example is poor sonichuizcool, a young, mentally retarded girl who was almost certainly the only genuine fan Chris ever had. He, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpicFail of course], mocked her and her disabilities until she went away because he decided, without anything vaguely resembling evidence, that she was a troll. This was before Chris was heavily targeted by actual trolls, so you can't even chalk it up to paranoia.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KidsAreCruel Kids Are Cruel]: Even when he deserved it, one does have to admit that what BlueSpike (13 years) did with Chris (Playing with him, making him do disgusting/humiliating things, including breaking his medallion and ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AssShove shoving the pieces up his own ass]'') was cruel. He also seemed to enjoy torturing him.
** And voluntarily spending hours listening to Chris masturbating. It's probably safe to say that he's [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CreepyChild got a few screws loose] himself.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KillEmAll Kill Em All]: What seems to be going on in season 2... which is shaping up to be WAY better than season 1!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnifeNut Knife Nut]: Chris somehow managed to obtain a knife. Judging by the fact that in a short period of time he threatened [[Don't Mess With Me|Clyde Cash]], [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|some other troll]] [[CWC Blog#14 March 2010|and the editors of CWCki]] with it, having a knife makes him feel powerful and he thinks it will solve all his problems. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SarcasmMode This of course doesn't make him look creepy and mentally unbalanced at all.]
** It makes him look like future Prison or Mental Asylum material if he doesn't puts an end to it.
** You have to wonder just how dangerous a 2-inch penknife really is in the hands of someone who takes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OverlyLongFightingAnimation at least 5 seconds to pull it out and open it with both hands]. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpicFail When he manages to open it at all].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnightTemplar Knight Templar]: Subverted. He tries to make himself look like one, but it's clear that the only thing fuelling his self-righteousness is ego.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnowNothingKnowItAll Know Nothing Know It All]: Chris repeatedly proves that he knows nothing about relationships, sex, parenting, copyright, drawing and several other subjects. That of course doesn't stop him from considering himself the greatest expert ever on these subjects and offering advice on them to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fans].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LackOfEmpathy Lack Of Empathy]: Chris is a terrifying combination of Autism, which makes it difficult for him to understand when and how to be empathetic, Narcissism which makes him incredibly self centered and a child-like naïvete which makes him simply unaware of what other people consider traumatic. When he ''comforts'' people he usually says "move on" or starts talking about how his dog died. To provide a particularly grisly example, [[Twitter#02 March 2010|when he tweeted about his father's hospitalization]] as a result of congested heart failure, his main concern was apparently his own level of stress, thanks to only getting four hours of sleep. His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hatedom fanbase] had to wait more than two months until Chris finally decided to [[Some Favored Comedians|briefly mention]] that his father recovered... even though in the meantime he posted a few tweets and blog entries, as well as several new videos, raging or ranting on various subjects mostly related to himself, but not even mentioning what was happening to his father. Bob is in his eighties and has had four heart attacks; his hospitalization isn't something that should be taken so lightly.
** To be fair, his father isn't the most likable person there is; it's not a very good [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FreudianExcuse Freudian Excuse] but neither are great people. Bob's only popular becuase he antagonizes Chris.
** Let's face it, at this point, it's likely that it's finally impossible for Chris to even understand ''humanity or basic emotion''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LarynxDissonance Larynx Dissonance]: Mary Lee Walsh in ''Sonichu: The Animated Series''. By her second appearance, she has a very [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheVentureBrothers Dr. Girlfriend-esque] voice, despite the fact that every other female character is voiced by either an actual girl or someone at least trying to attempt a girl's voice.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLeisureSuitLarry The Leisure Suit Larry]: Chris has elements of this: He's been dedicated to his ''Love Quest'' for years now, but his methods have been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement modestly questionable] (he used to loiter around shopping malls drawing comics and playing with his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NintendoDS Nintendo DS], hoping a Boyfriend-Free Girl would eventually notice him). In fact, the only reason the ''Sonichu'' comic exists in the first place is so that Chris would have at least one significant accomplishment with which to impress potential mates.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LegacyCharacter Legacy Character]: Many trolls adopt the persona of the Man in the Pickle Suit, a shadowy and nefarious figure whom Chris believes masterminds the trolling efforts.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LimitedWardrobe Limited Wardrobe]: Just like his comic character, he tends to wear the same style of shirts over and over again. A line in the comic about how he couldn't even imagine himself in the lead of a story he was reading unless he looked at himself in the mirror to remember his appearance seems to indicate why he wants his appearance to be as static as possible (and perhaps why he can't see himself as being overweight).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LiteralMinded Literal Minded]: Due to combination of his autism, unwillingness to learn [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Understatement and just not being very smart in general], [[Chris and English#Semantics|Chris tends to interpret figurative speech literally]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Loads And Loads Of Characters]: Between Chris, his immediate family, his extended family, his gal-pals, his "sweethearts", and his trolls, there are easily over 40 people to keep track of.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LogicBomb Logic Bomb]: At one point during ''A Girl who Brought Down the World'', the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AuthorAvatar Author Avatar] must stop Chris from having sex with her. She does this by telling him that he can have sex with her, but only if it's a threesome with another man. Cue Chris leaving the room in confusion.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoveAtFirstSight Love At First Sight]: Basically every single couple in the comic, while Chandler himself is a big proponent of this as well, falling in love with pretty much any female he has extended contact with, and on one occasion actually ''proposing'' to a woman he had never actually met. He seems to think he'll marry the first woman he has a successful date with.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoveMakesYouCrazy Love Makes You Crazy]: On the silly end of the spectrum is Chris making videos for his girlfriend's pet hermit crabs and hopping around like the Easter bunny. On the scary end of the spectrum are videos like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBUzZowEt1E For My Sweetest Ivy]. All for the same girl, incidentally, who made Chris ''particularly'' strange.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoveTriangle Love Triangle]: First there was Chris/Blanca Weiss/Sarah Jackson triangle, which ended when Sarah died in a car crash (don't worry, Chris moved on). Later there were Chris/PandaHalo/<strike>BlueSpike</strike>Julie ([http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilarityEnsues hilarity ensued] when Panda and Julie "[[IRC (04 January 2009)|found out]]" that Chris was a two-timer) and Chris/PandaHalo/Clyde Cash (who [[IRC (21 January 2009)|hinted]] that he wouldn't mind turning this into an OT3) triangles, which ended when <strike>Panda died in a bushfire</strike> Chris convinced himself that Panda died in a bushfire (don't worry, Chris moved on). And later there was Solid Chris/Kacey/Liquid Chris triangle, which ended with Kacey dumping Solid Chris and marrying Liquid (don't worry, at the same time Solid managed to "[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|copyright]]" ''Sonichu'', which was enough for him to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RunningGag move on]).
** He moved on before that. He practically said Liquid could have Kacey as long as Solid was acknowledged as being the real Christian Weston Chandler.
** The Ivy Saga wasn't free of these either. Even though Ivy was the recipient of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel particularly memorable] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LoveMakesYouCrazy displays of Chris' affection], said affection did't stop Chris from cybering with <strike>a troll</strike> Vanessa Hudgens.
** Christian's videos from mid-March 2010 are somewhat incoherent, but it looks like he is convinced that a mysterious troll nicknamed Surfshack Tito "stole" his latest "sweetheart" from him. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MurderTheHypotenuse And for that reason Chris wants to murder him.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LyingCreator Lying Creator]: "Original characters" my ass.
** One hilarious one that could have easily been averted was accusations that Rosechu was male because she lacks the shortened tail female Raichus have in the 4th Generation Pokemon games. How? By initially explaining how Rosechu was created prior to the 4th generation games. Instead, he edits a portion of his comic to show Rosechu having a blunted tail like 4th Generation female Raichus, and claims it's been this way the entire time. Even if he did edit the source as well, there's still countless things he's drawn with Rosechu that do not have a blunted tail. Because he follows this logic, trolls now acknowledge that Rosechu was always [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transvestite male].
*** In [[Mailbag 49#Revisionist history|Mailbag 49]] someone actually pointed out to Chris that he could handle the issue by stating that Rosechu was created before there were gender differences in Pokémon games. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SureWhyNot Chris agreed]... and then once again claimed that he never drew Raichu with pointed tail.
** For a better list on how much he lies, [[Lies|check here.]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManChild Man Child]: Chris is pretty much the dictionary definition of this trope, with a hint of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychopathicManchild Psychopathic Manchild]: Both his family and his welfare check have allowed him to live as a child eternally, playing [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGames/Pokemon children's card games], filling his bedroom with toys, spending all his disposable income ([[Chris and money|and more!]]) on games and exhibiting the [[Chris and art|artistic abilities]] and [[Chris and anger|social skills]] of a 6-year-old.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MassHypnosis Mass Hypnosis]: In response to an increasing number of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fans] who claimed that they won't read ''Sonichu'' anymore and that ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asperchu Asperchu]'' is better, Chris released [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|this video]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MathematiciansAnswer Mathematician's Answer]: In one of the [[Mailbag 28|Mailbags:]]
::'''kaybear@mail.com:''' You're almost 28. Why do you think you are still a virgin at your age?
::'''Chris:''' Because I still have not ever had sexual intercourse.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MeaningfulRename Meaningful Rename]: In 1992, after "the bear," a performer in a bear costume playing in a band at the local mall, confused Christopher's name for Christian, the young Mr. Chandler took it as a sign from God to change his first name to Christian.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MemeticMolester Memetic Molester]: Chris. Especially regarding poor Megan.
** The Megan fiasco is actually quite unsettling when you find out more about it; from the e-mails she sent him telling him to stop touching her, to his attempt to take her to a hotel in an apparent bid to have sex with her.
*** There is absolutely nothing "memetic" about it when you consider Megan.
** The scariest part of the whole thing is that Chris claimed that if he ''hadn't'' drawn porn of her, he "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NearRapeExperience might actually have done something really dumb and stupid]." [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Jesus. Christ].
*** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic And drawing porn of your own best friend isn't something really dumb and stupid?]
*** Compared to the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AttemptedRape alternative], it's Mensa material, especially since the porn finally convinced his friend to get the hell away from him. That's not what Chris intended, of course, but, really, who cares?
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MemeticMutation Memetic Mutation]
** "Get away from the Internet! I'm cuttin' it down, right now!" Bob Chandler, Internet Lumberjack.
*** From the same Saga: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick "Julay! JULAAAAAAAAAAAY!"] (Though that one's become an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OverusedRunningGag Overused Running Gag] by now.)
** [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail]].
** And who can forget [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychopathicManchild "I NAME IS NOT IAN! BRANDON! SOMETHING!"] [sic]
** Many "CWCisms," to the point that he practically has his own tropes, used here ("pedofork," "virgin with rage," "dirty, crapped briefs," and so forth. Basically, any particular phrasing you see twice in even ''this article'' came from something Chris-chan said, or was found on the wiki that is frequently linked to here.)
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotListeningToMeAreYou Your meme has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MinorInjuryOverreaction Minor Injury Overreaction]: Count Graduon, the head honcho villain of the comics, is named for Chris's graduation, at which he cried because he didn't get an award for his art "skills". Most villains based on real people are demonized versions of those who were upholding the law against public solicitation of sex and gave him the appropriate punishment.
** He has also [[9 February 2010|declared]] the loss of his personal wiki, of all things, the worst thing he has suffered and declared his wish to execute the people presumed responsible. And later he actually had them tortured and executed in his comic.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MisaimedMarketing Misaimed Marketing]: Chris is outraged by the fact that, despite its hideously chauvinistic ad campaigns, Axe body spray is mostly popular among gay men.
** While technically not marketed, Chris's comic is aimed at children. Its readers consist mainly of either trolls or troll sympathizers.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MissionFromGod Mission From God]: Chris ''will'' get laid. Not to prove his heterosexuality. Not because that's what he thinks being an adult is all about. No, he will get laid so that he may father Crystal Weston Chandler, because GodJesus ''commands'' it.
** Though it seems that proving his heterosexuality is at least equally important to him (see [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePornMovie Home Porn Movie] above).
** It's also worth noting that Chris Chan is a bit selective about which missions from GodJesus he accepts. He tried to justify his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/QuestForSex Quest For Sex] claiming that God and Jesus ordered him to father a daughter in one of his dreams... but in the same dream he also supposedly saw himself having an office job, and yet [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSlacker we don't see him engaging in any "quest for office job"].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoeAnthropomorphism Moe Anthropomorphism]: [[CWCki:CWCki-tan|CWCki-tan]], the CWCki's official mascot.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoneyDearBoy Money Dear Boy]: Chris, after wishing death on her several times, made Audiobook director Vivitheg a peace offering via email, apologising for his rash attitude. He then asked that he be paid for 25% of any profits made from anything related to the Audiobooks. Smooth, Chris.
** She complied by giving him 100% of all profits. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItMakesSenseInContext And the audiobook is free].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoodWhiplash Mood Whiplash]: Regular viewers of his online hijinks alternate between sympathy for Chris on the one hand and angry impatience with his conceited idiocy/occasional expressions of prejudice on the other. Just about every comments section for his videos has several people remarking that they "remember why" they don't always feel sorry for him.
** Christian's habit of finishing his statements with wishing everyone a good day or showing a peace sign sometimes creates unintentional Mood Whiplash. For example, Chris wished everyone a good day right after [[Attraction Sign|writing: "And to all MEN with girlfriends, except marrieds and blacks, go jump off a cliff"]], or [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|yelling that HE WILL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!]]
::"Death to the trolls, peace to everyone else."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Moral Event Horizon]: Bluespike, though there is some debate as to whether it was making Chris destroy his medal and put the remains where the sun doesn't shine or yelling at him to burn down his house.
** There's also Bluespike being a thirteen-year-old and having phone sex with Chris. This enraged a great deal of Chris trolls.
** Chris himself has done a couple of things that could be considered MEHs, such as the creation of ShecameforCWC.JPG or his reaction to Panda's supposed rape (or really, ''anything'' involving Chris and rape, as he has a rather... [[Chris and rape|skewed]] opinion on the subject). If not those two, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCDjrjr3b7M his mocking of 9/11] certainly counts. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenEvilHasStandards It even pissed off the trolls!]
*** Don't worry, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNDfdFCHU2U he apologized]... and reused the Twin Towers picture... as candles on a cake... aflame... which he snuffs out.
** He spent half a year mourning the death of his dog. It is known that he broke down in tears over it half a year after the event transpired. Panda, on the other hand? Twelve hours later he was cybering with Julie.
** And speaking of Bluespike, during the conversation he clearly cared more for his PSN than he did "Julie."
** Then there was the leaked email exchange between Chris where his half-brother is begging him for help resolving questions he has about his parentage... and Chris ignores this to ask for his help with ballot-stuffing an internet contest. Yes, he's that cold and self-centered even with his own ''flesh and blood''.
** How about Chris responding to the death of a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll fan] with a copied-and-pasted message about how "[their] letter has been read fully, and [their] thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement"?
*** To be fair, the whole thing was blatantly fake.
**** Christian thought it was real, though.
** Don't forget how Christian Chandler attempted to run over a Mall guard with <strike>his</strike> his mother's car after they kicked him out for soliciting sex.
** If Michael Snyder is telling the truth - [[6 June 2010|which, if you read between lines, Chris-Chan himself pretty much confirmed]] - Chris taking photos of Snyder's daughter and attempting to run him over with a car. Chris claims he was taking pictures of Snyder to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DartboardOfHate throw darts at it], and that Michael jumped on his car. The former does sound plausible, given Chris as a person, though it may not be the whole truth. The latter... not so much.
** He shows no distraught over the death of his own father. The only thing stopping him from undoubtely being a Complete Monster is the fact he can't act out his twisted imagination in real life.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyBelovedSmother My Beloved Smother]: Chris's mother Barbara seems to be pretty damn overbearing of him... quite possibly to an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoYay improper] degree.* Chris himself admitted that [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|he confides in her about his masturbation habits]], [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick so really, anything is possible here]. It's clear that her constant pampering and indulgence of Chris and his antics, along with her obvious reluctance to seek any actual professional assistance for Chris and his disadvantages, played a major role in turning Chris into the reclusive, socially inept and narcissistic [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JerkAss Jerkass] that he is today. When it comes to her treatment of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie poor old Cole Smithey], though, she crosses the line into out-and-out [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AbusiveParents abusiveness].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NamesTheSame Name's The Same]: Whoever Ian Brandon Anderson ''really'' is, he's probably not the frontman for Jethro Tull. That's Ian ''Scott'' Anderson.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Narm Narm]: Chris' personal conduct is a great source of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Narm Narm] because his entire self-image seems to be a stunning example of either rampant self-deception, [http://gagne.homedns.org/~tgagne/contrib/unskilled.html this phenomenon in action], or some combination of both. He seems to be blissfully unaware of what a laughable failure on virtually every level he is and to genuinely believe himself to be an intelligent, nice, handsome, strong man [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie who has endured horrible and totally undeserved suffering], and whose enemies are only out to get him because they're bigoted against autistics or otherwise bad people, and he conducts himself accordingly. This results in all sorts of unintentional comedy. Like him [[I AM STRONG|trying to]] [[Chris Loses It|be intimidating]]. And him responding to being called on his complete lack of worldly accomplishments by [[Father Call|making simple household chores like pulling weeds out to be some kind of heroic effort and suggesting they're comparable to serving in the Gulf War]]. Or [[Tobacky|claiming to have an IQ of over 300 while demonstrating he has no clue how big the solar system is]] and that [[Semen#Recycling|he apparently thinks]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailBiologyForever you can "recycle" ejaculate back into your sperm count by swallowing it]. Or writing such narmy lines as "[http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan/Megan_Saga my heart was hit so bad, that it sprung a leak... it leaked pain, torment and the deep feelings I had held in for so long. *sigh*]", which are hilarious when you contrast his rhetoric with what his conduct suggests about the true nature of his emotional life (namely that he's a selfish, egotistical, borderline sociopathic man-child whose "pain" and "torment" is mostly resentment at the world not always accomodating his king-sized sense of entitlement).
** [[:File:Chrisreply3.PNG|"Do me a favor, draw a VAGINA on my Rosechu; Rosechu IS A GIRL; SHE NEVER HAD A FREAKIN' PICKLE!!!! IF I SEE ONE MORE FREAKIN' PICKLE, AND YOU MAY SPREAD THIS QUOTE TO OTHER ADULT FAN ARTISTS, I WILL CREATE YOU IN SOUL CALIBUR III AND BEAT YOU UP LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!!!"]]
** "[[Mailbag 21#In which Chris receives a letter from the son of God|I feel like I am quick-decisive, I can move like a ninja, and my mind is sharp.]]"
** "[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER NEW TERRITORY THAT MAY OPEN NEW CREATIVE DOORS WITHIN YOUR MIND. ARE YOU 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER?]]". Because nothing opens new creative doors within one's mind like [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FetishRetardant atrociously drawn Rule 34 pictures].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NationalStereotypes National Stereotypes]: It seems that Christian's entire "knowledge" of [[War Paint Video|Native Americans]] or [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|"Brits, Irish and Scots"]] consists of nothing more than these stereotypes.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NauseaFuel Nausea Fuel]: "Recycling." Why ''why WHY'' would you film yourself... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WaterfallPuke ugh]...
** You will never look at fanta the same way again.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeutralEvil Neutral Evil]: Chris doesn't feel the slightiest remorse when he dishes death threats, begs Jesus to kill his "enemies" and tries to use the superpowers that he thinks he have to doom anyone who doesn't like him to Hell for all eternity. He comments (and feels PROUD) to have attempted to run over a mall guard with <strike>his</strike> his mother's car after said guard kicked him out for soliciting sex, AND also comments he needs to masturbate to "keep his hormones under control and keep himself from assaulting women." He only cares about himself, feels completely justified to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, feels absolutely NO remorse for the horrendous things he does to others, and absolutely refuses to admit he may be wrong after all. Some people honestly think that it's a matter of time until Christian ends up causing a tragedy IRL and his victims will never know why.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeverLiveItDown Never Live It Down]: Chris only used the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnusualEuphemism Unusual Euphemism] "niggos" (instead of "n----rs") once, but it's been mocked endlessly. (BlueSpike was trying to make him say ''"BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville, and Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville jail, where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers."'', but Chris changed the last word.)
** And now, the sequel: insulting a troll by calling him "n----r". Time only tells if he'll ever live this one down either.
** And dirty crapped briefs. And the photo of him in his mother's underwear. And drinking his semen. And... yeah, Chris tends to get a lot of these.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeverMyFault Never My Fault]: Chris absolutely '''will not''' ever admit that he is at fault for any of the bad things that happen to him, even [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm saying his elementary school board was somehow to blame for his adult failures.]
** One of the more infamous episodes also doubled as a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon Moral Event Horizon] for many. Megan, who by all accounts, by even the most jaded trolls, was an absolute saint for wanting to be friends with Chris, continuing to hang out with him even after he endlessly tried to touch her, was convinced they were dating when she made it ''emphatically'' clear that they were not, and in general was just an all round Jerkass to her. Then, after he started getting trolled, in a ''bizarre'' move, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChaoticStupid somehow expecting doing so would make him "victorious"] uploaded several self made rule 34 drawings, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive including one of Megan]. She, very apporpriately, was horrified, and severed all ties with Chris, finally having had enough of his sexual harrassment. Chris to this day blames the trolls for driving away his only friend. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NiceJobBreakingItHero Nice Job Breaking It Hero].
** He also blames his failure at getting a girlfriend on the "Infinitely High Boyfriend Factor," apparently not realizing that, first off, claiming to be in a relationship already is a handy way to not give someone you have no intention of dating your number without just saying "you're fat, ugly, and creepy." He also absolutely refuses to acknowledge that the manner in which he acts, including but not limited to, blatant sexism, unwanted touching, poor hygiene, and insistence on discussing his comic with all potential dates, tends to act as a deterrent for the opposite sex.
** While he never actually blames outside individuals for this one, whenever a new troll poses as a girlfriend for him (there have been literally dozens), many white knights feel compelled to warn him over and over that they are trolls, but he refuses to listen to them. It's quite ironic; he thinks the trolls are white knights, and the white knights are trolls. When the troll eventually reveals themselves, Chris' reaction is invariably him displaying shock, and claiming he never could have seen it coming.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NiceJobBreakingItHero Nice Job Breaking It Hero]: Chris removed the wifi antenna from his PS3 in an attempt to get rid of a bug that was put on it.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Noob Noob]: Despite spending the majority of his time and income on gaming, Chris has been described as "pretty terrible at all the games he played", routinely losing to small children before he got banned from The Game Place.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotListeningToMeAreYou Not Listening To Me Are You]: Typically noticeable in phone conversations, plus having to be prodded just to give a response in RL conversations.
** "Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." - Infamous response to multiple letters in Mailbag 52. One of which was a widow informing Chris her husband died due to his inaction. He claims to have been simply stumped on what else to say. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Facepalm Except he does the same to an automated message regarding the memorial.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotQuiteDead Not Quite Dead]: Clyde Cash and PandaHalo.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneEmployee Only Sane Employee]: In the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AnimatedAdaptation Animated Adaptation], Ms. Allison shows signs of this with regard to running the city. In fact, she's probably the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneMan only sane person] in the animated adaptation.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OrwellianEditor Orwellian Editor]: Chris is very, very intent on correcting the internet's twisted image of himself (specifically that of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica]) with varied degrees of success... to the point where he has essentially copypasted the ''entirety'' of the ED article on himself (which is already horridly out of date) [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Chris_chan and applied a series of personal corrections].
** He has also gone back and corrected any of his CWCipedia articles if they contradict what he would currently say about what has happened. He may not be as thorough as the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NineteenEightyFour Ministry of Truth], but he has that same motivation.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PantyShot Panty Shot]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanDisservice Chris,] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taiBe4ct_So halfway into this video.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PaperThinDisguise Paper Thin Disguise]: Liquid Chris. The scary part is that Solid Chris thinks people are actually falling for it.
** ''Solid Chris himself'' partially fell for it. He still thinks that Liquid's name is actually Christian Weston Chandler; in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|ninth call between Solid Chris and Alec Benson Leary]], Solid referred to Liquid as "the other Chris".
** Chris himself apparently tried this in a series of phonecalls to Liquid's girlfriend, impersonating Liquid. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BluffTheImpostor It didn't work], but [[Kacey Phone Call|Kacey humored him and played along]].
*** The best part is that both Chris and Kacey forget that Chris is supposed to be impersonating Liquid. Chris doesn't catch on.
** Chris once also attempted to infiltrate an IRC conversation between major trolls. With the nickname of "SonichuClone." While claiming to be a 30-year-old troll named Bill Riley. Using ''[[:Image:BillRiley.jpg|this]]'' as his picture.
*** Before that, he attempted to impersonate a troll whose e-mail account he hacked* well, actually a troll who allowed Chris to hack his/her e-mail account as a part of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BatmanGambit Batman Gambit] when contacting Jack Thaddeus. [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Hilarity ensued]] because Chris learned a bit too late that the account he hacked belonged to Jack's "daughter"; and even after he caught on, he impersonated her so badly that it made Jack remark that he should "stop acting like a Chris Chan."
** He also once vandalized his ED page [[George W. Bush#ED Edit|while pretending to be George W. Bush]].
** Recently, he attempted to vandalize the CWCki using the account "GodofThunderGodofWar", failing as usual. He was quickly discovered thanks to his Unique Writing Style and some IP testing and got treated with all the respect he deserved.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParanoiaFuel Paranoia Fuel]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TroperDemographics Many of us] love videogames and cartoons (Japanese and otherwise) that are [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PeripheryDemographic probably intended for people younger than ourselves]. Many of us have had romantic difficulties in past. Some of us may write our own webcomics, or other [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TroperWorks Troper Works]. And many of us are ''terrified'' of being [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NotSoDifferent like Chris], the ultimate otaku, a terrifying mirror held up to anime, manga, and video game fandom.
** People with Asperger's Syndrome or other forms of autism already see him as an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiRoleModel Anti Role Model].
** Another frightening thought: if anything we produce, either in real life or online, becomes such an object of derision as to inspire entire wikis devoted to our failures.
** Furthermore, if you were [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SonicTheHedgehog Yuji Naka] or [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Pokemon Satoshi Tajiri] and learned how badly some guy got messed up over ''your'' creative works.
*** Want to make this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Irony even] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HighOctaneNightmareFuel better?] Tajiri has Aspergers.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny People's Republic Of Tyranny]: The True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, named "in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea." A place where Chris' initials are plastered everywhere out of "love," a non-elected "mayor" makes dictatorial decrees, the autocrat's secretary has to do all actual administrative duties while the head of government runs around chasing tail, what sparse buildings dot the landscape are run-down and lopsided, and the only relief in sight is a guerilla movement headed by the dean of the town college.
** Also, anti-homosexuality laws enforced by ''constant psychic surveillance.''
*** Repealed only because it would force the psychic in question to watch homoerotic thoughts, not the invasion of privacy.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PetTheDog Pet The Dog]: One of the trolls, Vivian, sent Chris's dad a present for his 82nd birthday.
** Jack Thaddeus removed the biggest and most hardcore ads from CWCipedia after the news about Chris' father's hospitalization.
*** In addition, several trolls have sent Bob flowers and other gifts while he is hospitalized.
** Clyde Cash, one of the most notorious trolls, hacked into Chris's Club Nintendo account... and bought President Barack Obama a Mario hat while he was at it.
** Perhaps the only positive trait Chris has ever had was his relationship with his dog, Patti. He actually seemed to care about her, and was genuinely distraught when she died. Keep in mind, this is the guy who didn't mourn the death ''of his own father.''
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePigPen The Pig Pen]: People who have encountered Chris in real life have said he smells like a homeless man or rotting fruits, due to his replacing of showers with Axe body spray. Also, there's the subject of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PottyFailure dirty, crapped briefs]...
** The real irony is that [[The_GAMe_PLACe|he uses hand sanitiser immediately after shaking someone else's hand]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThePollyanna The Pollyanna]: Chris is regularly harassed and humiliated, but rest assured he'll be back on Youtube beaming about his latest endeavour in no time.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PopStation Pop Station]: Chris's version of Vivi Gee and Dethchemist's ''Sonichu'' audiobook.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PottyFailure Potty Failure]: Dirty, crapped briefs. Chris compares the fact he occasionally shits his pants as a grown man to an infant child doing the same thing in diapers. The fact he brings this up during an online conversation with Clyde Cash makes this absolutely pathetic.
** Eating nothing but fast food and drinking nothing but soda and power drinks for years, while completely removing fruits, veggies and fresh water from his diet? It's a miracle that his digestive system could still work, especialy with all the candy and sweets that Chris stuffs down his throat every day.
***[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlatantLies Stuff…candy…don't…][http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint Chris stuffs vegetables down his throat!] [[Chris and English#Rhetorical comparisons and sarcasm|He stuffs green beans! He stuffs broccoli! He stuffs corn! He stuffs carrots!]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychopathicManchild Psychopathic Manchild]: Chris. He easily fits the "manchild" part, and <strike>may</strike> now definitely qualifies as a psychopath as well.
|}

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Tropes found in Trolling, Trollfics, and RealLife:Q-Z
|-
|
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/QuestForSex Quest For Sex]: Nowadays it's obvious that Christian's "Love Quest" is actually this. He wants to get laid so badly that he's willing to reveal all kinds of personal information about himself, including details about his masturbation habits, as well as draw pornographic comic starring himself, photograph himself wearing diapers and film himself running around naked and displaying "random-access humor", masturbating, humping a love doll, drinking his own semen or demonstrating how he would pleasure a woman orally if he thinks it will help him score. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick And yes, he actually did all these things]. Interestingly, though perhaps unsurprisingly, one thing he won't do to get laid is actually improving himself, as evidenced by the [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|Jackie e-mails]].
** He also won't pay for a prostitute, despite spending well over a thousand dollars on games he will never play.
** He is also too coward to even talk to a prostitute, as some trolls once sent TWO hookers to his house and according to them, he panicked and hid behind of his mom until she asked them to leave.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeIsLove Rape Is Love]: Implied in the 'relationship' between Clyde Cash and PandaHalo. Chris now believes that they are [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HappilyMarried Happily Married].
** Chris-Chan also believes this to be [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TruthInTelevision Truth In Television].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealityIsUnrealistic Reality Is Unrealistic]: Clips of one of Chris' videos was featured on a radio show, prompting one of the hosts to say that if Chris were a character in a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DavidLynch David Lynch] movie, he'd think Lynch was trying too hard.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheReasonYouSuckSpeech The Reason You Suck Speech]: Pretty much all of them. Basically anything that ''CChanSonichuCWC'' ('the impersonator', 'Brown Chris', 'Liquid Chris') posts.
** There has been at least [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYCLNJGaZgQ one time] Chris has delivered a very effective [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheReasonYouSuckSpeech The Reason You Suck Speech] ... [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm to himself.]
*** Kacey's father gave Chris what is essentially a two-hour-long version of this in a phonecall.
** Alec Benson Leary delivered a few of these to him in the phone calls, calling him out on being lazy and belligerent. And Chris hung up.
** ''Sonichu Revolution'' is pretty much one big TRYSS in comic form, calling Chris out on his ego, laziness, unoriginality and hypocrisy. Naturally, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompletelyMissingThePoint this all flies right over Chris's head] and he just complains about the violence.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RefugeInAudacity Refuge In Audacity]: Several fanworks, including ''Sonichu the Animated Series'' and ''Sonichu is Gay''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheRemake The Remake]: The [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeviantART deviantART] member [http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/ gabmonteiro9389] is [http://gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com/art/Sonichu-Remake-Issue-0-Cover-117025346 redoing] ''Sonichu'' and giving it [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoCoolItsAwesome awesome] art. The crap story is still there, but at least the eyesore isn't.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeHorror Considering] the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ColdBloodedTorture contents] of later issues, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YourMileageMayVary better art might not be such a good thing].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Rickroll Rickroll]: An ''unintentional'' example, [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008#Video|believe it or not.]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheRival The Rival]: Liquid Chris; a literal rival in the singing contest. In his videos, Liquid shows himself as a sort of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodModeSue God Mode Sue] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Doppelganger Doppelganger] to Chris, copying his mannerisms and (claimed) skills, but doing them pretty well: Liquid actually is fairly handsome and quite talented. Liquid claims to have grown up and taken his creation ''Sonichu'' to future success in the video game and comic industry, much to the chagrin of regular Chris.
**And now we have Alec Benson Leary's [http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperchu], which Chris now believes is "stealing" Sonichu's fanbase.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RootingForTheEmpire Rooting For The Empire]: Some of the troll depictions portray the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens as heroic rebels trying to overthrow a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychopathicManchild Psychopathic Manchild] dictator and his army of superpowered enforcers.
** More humorlously, and technically in an instance of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheEmpire The Empire] rooting for itself, when Chris depicted 4chan as a building, "The 4 Cent Garbage Building," where ''Satan'' works as a receptionist, the building is 72 (66 + 6) floors tall, and exists mainly to display Chris's poor sense of humor, he chose to depict its employees as having only one job: drinking beer all day. Instead of being offended, as Chris hoped, the unanimous response was "Fucking with Chris and drinking beer all day and getting paid for it? That sounds like the best job ever."
*** And drawing [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleThirtyFour Rule Thirty Four] art.
** From the Meta angle, arguably, anyone who takes sides (see [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilVersusEvil Evil Versus Evil]).
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SadisticChoice Sadistic Choice]: Bluespike/Julie/Max is a master at this.
** More recently trolls put ''Sonichu'' comics on sale on Lulu.com, forcing Chris to choose whether he should officially condemn them, thus breaking his earlier promise that he will leave the Internet (and presumably upsetting some external force that almost certainly made him make that promise in the first place), or whether he should keep aforementioned promise and just watch his precious ''Sonichu'' being "stolen" from him. [[F Abstinance|Chris made his choice rather quickly.]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SecretTestOfCharacter Secret Test Of Character]: Both Clyde and Bluespike used these on Chris. He failed all of them.
** Clyde worked with PandaHalo to claim she was raped and pregnant with his child. Chris treated the rape like it was an affair and agreed to give the hypothetical child to Clyde the moment he offered to do so. Later, Panda made use of the Australian Brushfires to fake her death. Chris moved on to Julie in less than twelve hours.
** Speaking of Julie, during his hostage negotiations with Bluespike, he caught on to the secret test (He had to pick Julie or his PSN account) and picked Julie, expecting that he'd pass the test and get the PSN back for making the right choice, revealing that Chris sees women on the same level of overpriced gaming consoles.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SevenDeadlySins Seven Deadly Sins]: Chris embodies ''all'' of them. Thankfully, Sloth means he will never act seriously on the others... or at least he won't act on them [[6 June 2010|most of the time]].
** Sloth: He is a parasite who lives on government welfare checks, doesn't work, and can't be arsed to maintain his shitty comic or improve himself.
** Lust: He owns all manner of sex toys, has had sex with a blowup doll, views female friends as women who are withholding sex from him, and generally acts like a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkerWithACrush creepy stalker] to gal-pal and stranger alike.
** Wrath: He throws tantrums, verbally abused his college dean, and shouts internet death threats all the time.
** Envy: He is jealous of men who have girlfriends, and blames them for preventing him from having one (instead of his poor hygiene, awful manners, deplorable behavior, stalkerish tendencies, multiple prejudices, no job, etc).
** Greed: He is an extremely materialistic individual who has stolen several thousand dollars off of his parent's credit cards.
** Gluttony: He overeats on junk food and other assorted crap.
** Pride: He is incapable of taking criticism, he considers his poorly drawn cartoon on par with professionals, he sees himself as entitled to so much despite providing so little, and generally acts like a smug, pompous brat when he isn't raging or sad at some relatively trivial thing.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SelfDeprecatingHumor Self Deprecating Humor]: In a FAQ, the CWCki wonders "who really has no life here: Chris, or the people who obsessively document and debate everything he does?"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SelfInflictedHell Self Inflicted Hell]: Chris is basically strangling himself with his internet connection.
** There's even a saying among the trolls: "No one trolls Chris better than Chris."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SelfFanService Self Fan Service]: Mary Lee Walsh went from being an old lady in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Canon canon] to being a beautiful succubus-resembling demon in trollfics.
** Justified in that Chris's art style is so crude that at first most people couldn't tell she was supposed to have gray hair, the only real visual indication of her age in the comic. Early "fan" artists assumed she was younger and had blond hair and red horns instead of a yellow helmet. The design just stuck afterward.
*** That, and because when the people saw her, they interpreted her golden viking helmet, again, due to Chris' terrible art skills, as her being depicted as having Marylin Monroe like blonde hair, and little she-devil horns. Troll's admiration of her calling Chris out on his bullshit, one of the few people who don't know him from the internet, coupled with the crude representation of her in the comics led to them interpreting her as a [[:File:Sonichu Finale 2 Page 23 by Plombard.jpg|sexy blonde she devil who trolls Chris IRL]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexIsCool Sex Is Cool]: This seems to be a central part of Christian's world view. He apparently thinks that because he is obsessed with his "Love Quest" and wants to have sex so badly, everyone else should want it as well, and he's unwilling or unable to comprehend that someone [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CelibateHero might not be involved in romantic and/or sexual relationship out of choice] and perhaps even [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Asexuality might not be interested in romance and sex at all]. This belief also shows up in his comic, as he finds it necessary to pair his Sonic recolors up and refuses to break them up (because they simply can't be happy if they aren't in relationships), makes <strike>Mary Lee Walsh</strike> Slaweel Ryam say that she became evil because she was never loved and eradicates asexuality in ''Sonichu 10''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShlubbAndKlumpEnglish Shlubb And Klump English]: Chris tends to misuse words and phrases that aren't even in common usage in modern English (phrases like "I do not care much for" instead of "I don't like." He even makes up words occasionally (like "instinctions" instead of "distinct instances"). These made-up words have been dubbed "[[CWC-isms]]" by his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll followers].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Shoutout Shoutout]: ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MetalGearSolid Metal Gear Solid]'' is very popular with CWC trolls, which can be seen in their antics and parodies; shoutouts to the series are so rampant that it warrants its [[Metal Gear Solid|own page]] on the CWCki. To a lesser extent, ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Earthbound Earthbound]'' references (especially of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel Giygas]) are also common, though mostly only in [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanVid fanvid]s.
** Chris-Chan himself is like a real life version of Porky Minch: Just compare CWCville with New Pork City. Or rather, don't.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SignificantAnagram Significant Anagram]: Trolls have noted that "Christian Weston Chandler" is an anagram of "AntiChrist Enhances World." Hmm...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SkewedPriorities Skewed Priorities]: [[Common Questions#22 February 2010|On the list of the worst things that have ever happened to Chris]], posted by the man himself, deaths of his "sweethearts" PandaHalo and Sarah Jackson were ranked ''below'' apparently more tragic events, such as trolls hacking his PSN accounts and his original ''Sonichu'' site, as well as him getting banned from the game store where he used to play ''Pokémon'' and ''Yu-Gi-Oh''. And poor Ivy wasn't mentioned at all. For that matter, neither was Chris' aunt Corrina ''who died in real life''.
** There's also the fact that he doesn't want to kill his Sonic recolors, because [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DaydreamBeliever they are real to him...] yet in the comic he gleefully murders (sometimes in a gory way) ''real people'' who "wronged" him. In fact, Chris in general empathises more with fictional characters than with real people. For example, he was only in a mild disagreement with a troll roleplaying as [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThoseWackyNazis Josef] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadDoctor Mengele] [[Mailbag 35#In which Chris almost figures it out|who suggested marking the homosexual people and taking them to camps to experiment on them]]; by contrast, he seemed genuinely disturbed by [[Mailbag 54|the other troll's suggestion to include in his comic a character that used to eat baby Sonees (i.e. Sonichus' hatchlings) alive or put them in blenders and drink them]].
*** And still, even though his Sonic recolors are real, sentient beings for him, and even though he is probably more attached to them than to real people, he killed Simonla just to get his CWCipedia back. Interpret that as you will.
** Also, Chris thinks that it's A-OK to show sex and graphic violence in his (allegedly child-friendly) comic, yet censors [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous even mild swearing].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheSlacker The Slacker]: At the advice of his father, Chris has declined to seek a job, and instead subsists on his "monthly tugboat," $800 of Social Security funding. Records show that American taxpayers' money have bought Chris a PS3 and [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CaughtWithYourPantsDown literally gone up his ass]. He'd fit the trope perfectly were it not for his puritanical views on drugs (although his exposure to drinking may change this).
** Now he claims that he had "Never been Really Sure on the whole making money thing, or of any other aspirations"; that he does ''Sonichu'' for fun; hates that it's "being pressured onto me like as if it was a Job" (read: hates that people try to make him ''at least update his own webcomic regularly''); is "tired of trying to please MILLIONS" (because he tried so hard...) and says that fans (or "fans", as he put it - apparently he considers only [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Lickspittle those who accept everything he does as perfect] to be his TRUE and LOYAL fans) who told him they stopped reading his comic because he failed to update it regularly are "among the People I am most annoyed with". In short, apparently he doesn't want to make money off ''Sonichu'' anymore, not because he's afraid of Sega and Nintendo, but because he realized that it would require working on his comic regularly.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo Small Name Big Ego]: Despite there being at most ONE ''Sonichu'' fan, Chris has confused the people watching him out of horror for a devoted fanbase, and still entertains dreams of ''Sonichu'' video games and merchandise. During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris believed that the big man of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Nintendo Nintendo] himself wanted to meet with him, and even made a slideshow presentation about a proposed Sonichu game (which turned out to be mostly about Chris and his creations), in which he claimed professional-level drawing skills.
** Even worse, he was certain that Miyamoto would be more honored to meet ''him''.
** Chris's madness has been growing to the point where he seems convinced he can ''curse people,'' and has been falling back on "my Love Quest is a divine mandate!" more and more. Be afraid.
** Most of Chris's narcissism seems to stem from the few contests he has won during his lifetime, one being a raffle he entered as a child for $1000 worth of Sega games and won by sheer, dumb luck, and another being a GameStop ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GuitarHero Guitar Hero]'' contest he won after his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanHaters Fan Haters] voted for him in droves, which lead him to believe that his work had a sizeable fanbase. Ever since then, Chris has been obsessed with success (he threw a massive hissy fit when his high school neglected to reward him for his art skills, and another when he lost a ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParappaTheRapper Parappa The Rapper]''-themed contest and accused the winner of cheating), and frequently appeals to his "True and Loyal fanbase" for help against the trolls.
** It's gotten worse: Apparently, Christian has [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|applied for a copyright for the name Sonichu]] with absolutely no thought of the repercussions he could suffer if Nintendo and/or Sega discover his completely unoriginal character. Big Ego indeed. By the way? One fan e-mailed Nintendo.
** Not only that, he seriously believes that [[Chris and Wikipedia|he deserves his own article on]] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThatOtherWiki That Other Wiki] and believes that his birthday (February 24th) should be a ''national holiday''.
** As it turns out, [[Mailbag_48|he thinks he has "way over a million fans worldwide"]] (perhaps [[Common Questions#26 January 2010|even more than a billion of them]], though in this case [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritersCannotDoMath he might not have realized how high the number he typed was]).
** Additional proof of both his gargantuan ego and him being completely out of touch with reality: [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)|he thinks he's "the Mayor of Cwcville, VA, IN REAL LIFE as its Main Creator"]].
** When Chris contacted troll who hacked his PSN accounts, he sent (among others) 17 rather incoherent messages that ended with the phrase: "[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails#The last straw 7/12/09|thou will only be forgiven truly if thou returns the Accounts thou has stolen from the son of God who truly has Christ in his name and in his heart]]" (the "son of God" portion referring to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AGodAmI Chris-chan himself]). He also threatened the troll that "God will reign down with a Vengance upon you until you give me back my Japan, Spain, Hong Kong, France and Germany Playstation Network Accounts".
** Not as spectacular as above examples, but Chris [[Some Favored Comedians|stated that he'd like Jerry Seinfeld himself to respond to one of his Youtube videos]]. Apparently he doesn't think it's unlikely that Seinfeld would do that.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmugSnake Smug Snake]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KnowNothingKnowItAll Chris thinks that he's smarter than everyone else], and frequently tries to use his "brilliance" to take advantage of others. In particular, he made several attempts to manipulate people to do something he wanted them to do, forgive him for his misdeeds, agree with him etc. He usually tried to achieve these goals by invoking pity in other people, for example by [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|bringing up his autism, the fact that he's a virgin,]] [[Mailbag 45#Mistakes, errors, and ordeals|"deaths" of his "sweetheats" and constant trolling]], [[Mailbag 39#In which Chris describes a bad dream for no reason|by describing nightmares he had]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|or just by faking sadness]]. He even tried to make Megan forgive him for creating ShecameforCWC.JPG [[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED|by telling her that he suffered more that she did]]. In addition, he lies to achieve his goals (like the time he impersonated Liquid in an attempt to trick Kacey into sleeping with him), makes promises with no intent of keeping them (like promising Kacey that he'll find a job and move out of his parents' house) and tries to weasel his way out of doing things he doesn't want to do (e.g. the whole Simonla saga). He tries to be [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManipulativeBastard Manipulative Bastard], but one small detail prevents him from being one: he is utterly, hopelessly incompetent at manipulating people.
** Ironically, whenever people notices he's attempting to manipulate them, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OutGambitted they play along and end up manipulating him to do stupid or embarrasing things instead].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsGood So Bad It's Good]: Christian's life, from the perspective of his "fans."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoBadItsHorrible So Bad It's Horrible]: The more you learn about his life, the more it goes from "funny" to "depressing."
** A more specific example: [[Christian's sex joke]].
** Chris himself appears to be a rare example of a person who lacks ''any'' positive qualities. Even real-life [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompleteMonster Complete Monsters] typically have some degree of intelligence, charisma or motivation. Chris has none. It's as if somebody tried to see how bad someone could get, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki.php/Main/GoneHorriblyRight and sucseeded.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SophisticatedAsHell Sophisticated As Hell]: The CWCki has more than a few articles that list some well thought out, scientifically minded speculations as to the reasons for why Chris does one thing or another... and then the last reason is along the lines of "and because he's a fucking idiot."
** "In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick fecal incontinence (the other one being ramming stuff in his shit tube)]"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SockPuppet Sock Puppet]: What Chris tends to do to convince himself and the internet at large that he has a fanbase that doesn't consist entirely of trolls - one such instance being the above-mentioned ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ParappaTheRapper Parappa The Rapper]'' contest, where he posted comments about his own videos to hype himself up.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SorryImGay Sorry, I'm Gay]: Chris has claimed he hates homosexual men because a woman turned him down, claiming she was a lesbian. No, this does not make sense.
** Of course, this is most likely a lie, since he used to claim his hatred of gays came from a principal he didn't like and thought was gay. However, we are dealing with a highly [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnreliableNarrator Unreliable Narrator] here, chances are Chris is a huge liar, and he just hates gays because he's a bigot, or because he's in a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TransparentCloset Transparent Closet].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoUnfunnyItsFunny So Unfunny It's Funny]: Compared to the pitiful attempts at "humor" in the comic itself, Chris's "random-access humor" will have you ''howling'' with laughter.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YourMileageMayVary Your Mileage May Vary]. Many consider his oafish butchering of the ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MontyPython Monty Python]'' angle he shamelessly ripped it from to be simply painful to listen to.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpannerInTheWorks Spanner In The Works]: At some point in early 2010 Chris met a new "sweetheart"; at the same time almost certainly he was advised by someone wishing him well, most likely his parents or his pastoral counselor, that talking about said "sweetheart" on the internet, declaring his undying love to her in YouTube videos, revealing her identity, etc. will attract trolls.* While it can't be completely ruled out that he realized this without anyone's help, which would mean he has some limited ability to learn, his later actions cast doubt on that; after said "sweetheart" cut off contact with him, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatAnIdiot he repeatedly dropped not only her pen name, but also her actual first and last name] However, Chris couldn't completely resist the urge to announce that he found a "girlfriend", thus proving to trolls that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday HE IS STRAIGHT]. For some time, he tried to have it both ways; he stated that he met a new girl and that relationship was progressing, while not revealing her name, and asked everyone to [[CWC Blog#14 February 2010|"leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly"]]. This, of course, was practically daring trolls to start looking for information about her. Still, while trolls would probably succeed at identifying her anyway, it could have taken months if Chris just shut up... but [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive Chris being Chris], in March 2010 he revealed one of the pen names used by his "sweetheart", thus making it possible for trolls to identify her.
** Of course, most trolls weren't ready to jump on this. They were more interested in seeing how it panned out. Then a random troll points out a link that leads to the CWCki. This resulted not only in her cutting off contact with Chris, but also with Chris having knowledge of CWCki. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NiceJobBreakingItHero Nice Job Breaking It, Anti-Hero].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpeechImpediment Speech Impediment]: His [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeepSouth southern accent] notwithstanding, Chris has a notable tendency to slur his speech (for example, pronouncing '[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] page' as 'Encykkapeedya Drammaka Paysh'), drop various letters from words and even switch them around, most likely due to his autism or lack of general verbal contact with other people. He also has trouble pronouncing the letter X, resulting in him talking about how much he hates 'homosetssuals' and uses 'Atsse body spray'.
** When those two aspects begin to intersect with his [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Angrish Angrish], that's when you need the CWCki's transcripts, as he starts to become extremely unintelligble.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SplitPersonality Split Personality]: In an August 30th, 2009 web address, Christian stunned observers by holding a conversation between himself and "Christopher," a la [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLordOfTheRings Smeagol and Gollum]. This has been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SplitPersonalityTakeover incorporated] into a number of trollfics.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick Squick]: There's pictures out there of the author wearing his mother's underwear or diapers, and these are the ''good'' pics because at least he's wearing ''something''.
** An ad involving the trolls exposing Chris for being a liar and a thief over the Simonchu character, and have him fingering his mother in a callback to his shecameforcwc.jpg picture.
** When the image was originally conceived, the artist stated that he was "just drunk enough to try". And it seems that Chris may have been scarred by the image as well.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkerShrine Stalker Shrine]: The worrying [[Megan Shrine]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkerWithACrush Stalker With A Crush]: When he's looking for a girlfriend, Chris camps out "attraction locations" and scares the bejeezus out of store customers or library patrons. When he ''has'' a [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Troll girlfriend], Chris scares the bejeezus out of observers with his displays of devotion and obsession over them.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StatusQuoIsGod Status Quo Is God]: Chris refuses to change his lifestyle or work any harder on his comic. This is best highlighted in cases where a girl named Jackie, who actually seems interested in Chris (only having met him over the net) tries to change him for the better, either by getting a job or taking his comic seriously. [[Jackie|She fails, and it turns ugly.]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StepfordSmiler Stepford Smiler]: ''Capering Berries'' decided to make Simonla out to be a mindless clone.
** [[Stare|Chris's creepy stare]] also qualifies.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StormingTheCastle Storming The Castle]: Essentially what the trolls do to Chris' websites, they hack them and vandalise them untill they are completey unrecognisable from what they once were. On the 26th of May it happened to the CWCipedia again, forcing Chris to abandon it to the trolls for good. It remains to be seen where he will go from here.
** Probably he will never try to recreate it elsewhere. Not because of the trolls, but because Christian finally realized that keeping the CWCipedia updated and running involved WORK, which he absolutely hates.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StoryArc Story Arc]: The CWCki has divided Chris' recent history into "[[saga]]s" based upon who he was angriest with/infatuated with at the time.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheStraightWillAndGrace The Straight Will And Grace]: Chris and Megan used to be this. Likely not to happen with any other girls, as Chris considers the idea of "Just Friends" to be disgusting.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StreisandEffect Streisand Effect]: Has happened to Chris several times, but probably the most notable is the video tour he made of his house - which, as some people pointed out, was such a mess that the Virginia health department would be likely to demolish it if they saw the footage. The result was [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|this infamous video]], where Chris pleads his personal army to take down every mirror of the video. Naturally, the footage (and everything else Chris has deleted) is mirrored on a separate Youtube account maintained by a troll.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StupidStatementDanceMix Stupid Statement Dance Mix]: A relatively common type of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanVid fanvid], since Chris's nonsense makes for great material. Of note are [http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg#grid/user/071DE54B39B5698E Vivian's remixes], which are mostly set to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GameMusic Game Music]. Liquid also contributed [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M his own] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMusicOfAwesome amazing] mix.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StylisticSuck Stylistic Suck]: Liquid Chris's paper medallion and incredibly half-assed fake fatness (the latter dispensed with altogether after the first few videos). These features only served to wrankle Real Chris further, who didn't take the cue that this was not a sincere attempt at impersonation. Also, Robert Simmons V, who showcased incredibly poor 'fanart' alongside sharply contrasting quality drawings.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SubliminalSeduction Subliminal Seduction]: In [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|this video]]. It's bizarre, to say the least.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeThat Take That]: ''A Girl who Brought Down the World'' has all the appearing trolls portrayed as a bunch of insane anarchists, who only want to see the world burn at the hands of Chris because [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ItAmusedMe they believe it to be funny].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TearJerker Tear Jerker]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxAhBoYfWy4 Childhood pictures of Chris]. Where did it all go so wrong?
** Y'know, people laugh at this guy and his antics (including this troper) but when one gets down to it, this really is sad. If not for super shitty parents Chris could actually have become a functioning person with autism. Instead we have one more racist, homophobic, arrogant, elitist, jerk-ass in the world who can't even function or learn that it's not okay to be so homo/race-phobic. Mind you due to his parents Chris may very well have grown up to be a homophopic racist, but crappy parents to autistic children exist and they don't have the '''benefit''' of amusing or spurring people to improve themselves.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheConspiracy The Conspiracy]: In [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwCldRr0kDc this video], Chris claims the reason he is a hopeless, friendless loser is due to the entire Greene County School Board of Education conspiring to remove him from Chesterfield County (and his high school friends) through some nefarious, dastardly means. Note this happened at least ten years ago.
** He also seems to believe that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InsaneTrollLogic somehow Greene County School Board is responsible for his ban from The GAMe PLACe]. Hell, it's quite likely that he believes everyone who "wronged" him in his life is a member of evil and powerful conspiracy using its resources to cockblock him, [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|just like in his comic]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheTetrisEffect The Tetris Effect]: Playing [http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic this] with one of his videos going in the background is surprisingly cathartic.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FourthDateMarriage Third Date Nookie]: Chris has an unshakable belief that if you can make it to the third date, sex is automatic. This pops up in the comics as well.
** Actually, he views sex as a payment that must happen by the third date at the latest. He's on record as claiming that he'd do it on the second date if the girl was OK with it.
*** Looks like he ultimately decided that he doesn't even want to wait until the second date - [http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu on his OkCupid profile] he stated that he wants to be contacted by women who "are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date", along with naming his Hook Cafe profile 'direct2sex'.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TomatoInTheMirror Tomato In The Mirror]: The alternate ending to [[Fan:CWCVille_1984|"Cwcville 1984"]] reveals that the narrator was Sonichu all along.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive Too Dumb To Live]: Chris... or so you'd think, except for the fact that he somehow manages to survive.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyBelovedSmother An overbearing mother] and a "monthly tugboat" might have something to do with it.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooSpicyForYogSothoth Too Spicy For Yog Sothoth]: The #tropers [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MST MST] channel's attempt to take on the comic led to several contributors taking a break from MSTing and the MSTing system being completely revamped. This is the same channel that ''laughed'' at ''[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheEasyBreather The Easy Breather]''.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TransparentCloset Transparent Closet]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlternativeCharacterInterpretation Opinions are divided] on whether Chris qualifies. One thing is certain though: telling him that he does [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BerserkButton guarantees getting a strong reaction from him].
** [[Homo#Evidence that Chris is a homo|Most straight men don't have to "Keep themselves straight."]]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transvestite Transvestite]: Rosechu. Cemented when Chris tries to reason that having a blunted tail makes 'her' female. 'She' never, ever had a blunted tail. While trolls almost always depict her having a 'pickle', after this, she gets depicted as a transvestite, too.
** Chris himself, there being the infamous pictures of him in his mother's bra, and more recently, he has decided to be up and front about wearing a sports bra in an effort to conceal his manboobs. That's right. In an effort to ''hide'' his manboobs, he ''reveals'' the much more embarassing fact that he wears a bra. Which he calls his "muscle bra."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TrashOfTheTitans Trash Of The Titans]: A video tour of Chris's house revealed room after room almost completely filled with heaps of junk. Cue troll attempts to get the Greene County Health Department to condemn his home.
** It truly is unbelievable how trashed that house is. A few fair-sized rooms are filled at least 4-5 feet with nothing but junk. If you imagine any instances of this trope in fiction, you'll find that that house [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostTriumphantExample exceeds all of them in terms of complete and utter messiness.]
** Rumor has it that some are trying to influence them to take part in one of the several make-over/reality shows focused on pack rats that cropped up recently. This very well could change their lives for the positive since, as far as many of us can see, the root of their problems comes from them keeping so much trash and isolating themselves in a fantasy world.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FanNickname Troll Nickname]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MetalGear Liquid Chris and Solid Chris]. Also "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Pokemon Snorlax]" and "The Internet Lumberjack" for Barb and Bob, respectively.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnreliableNarrator Unreliable Narrator]: Chris's stories about how he got kicked out of various locales tend to differ significantly from third-party reports. When pressed, however, Chris will reveal the truth.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnstoppableRage Unstoppable Rage]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILq5DVl7g6o "Chris Loses It"], in which Chris goes absolutely fucking berserk. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny And it is hilarious.] This can also apply to any of his [[:Category:Videos_with_RAGE|videos with RAGE.]]
** Creepily, anger seems to be the only emotion that Chris is capable of genuinely expressing. His attempts to sound cheerful, caring, sad, etc. all come off as extremely forced, with exaggerated, cartoonish facial expressions... but when he gets mad, you know he really wants that person dead.
*** I think you mean "BREAK THEM DEAD!"
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist]: Emphasis on "unsympathetic."
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheVirus The Virus]: Chris seems to view homosexuality this way.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallBanger Wall Banger]: On many, many occasions. But one of these is down to his uncompromising belief that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AspergerSyndrome Asperger Syndrome] and Autism are not related despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. [[Autism Awareness E-mails|When someone trained in such knowledge tries to explain this to him he refuses to explain why he thinks this way and why he came up with the idea that the two are not related.]] People have tried to explain this [[Aspergers syndrome|before with no success.]]
** Since he outright states in the first link that "[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AssPull ''For your information, the Fact of Aspergers being different from Autism and of it trying to steal the light is of MY Own Idea.'']", the people who try to argue with him about this might also qualify.
*** The problem is that he offers no explaination for why this is his own idea or why and how he came to this conclusion. The only one I can think of is that he believes it's stealing his so called limelight. He has stated before that he doesn't care about anyone else with Autism as well or indeed anyone else but himself, anyone who he thinks is drawing attention away from himself deserves to die.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wangst Wangst]: '''''Does he ever.'''''
** Hell, he might be possibly the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MostTriumphantExample Most Triumphant Example] of this trope.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeaksauceWeakness Weaksauce Weakness]: The word "naive" seriously in a video with Alec he claims he dislikes the word because it sounds like 'nails on a chalkboard'. This is weaksauce weakness even for Chris!
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatAnIdiot What An Idiot]: Vivian Gee said it best: "HONOR ROLL MY ASS!" Worthy of special mention, however, is the fact that Chris thinks that it's possible (at least for him) to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealityWarper retcon real life] and ''actually tried to solve his problems that way'' on at least [[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation|two]] [[Simonla Rosechu#Chris denies reality|occasions]].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatHappenedToTheMouse What Happened to the Mouse?]: At the end of February 2010 a random guy (possibly a troll) appeared in CWC's room in a single video. There's been no word on him since.
** Even bigger mystery: what happened [[:File:0773-CWC23.JPG|to Christian's iconic red-and-blue-striped shirt]]? The last time we saw him wearing it would be [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|this video from November 2009]].
*** He probably outgrew it. He's been putting on the pounds more recently, and it already appeared to be too small for him.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WikiMagic Wiki Magic]: Chris' life has been considered by some as the epitome of [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WikiMagic Wiki Magic] at work: What began as a single post on an imageboard escalated into several anons compiling an [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EncyclopediaDramatica Encyclopedia Dramatica] page on Chris' failures, the article growing bigger and bigger until it had to be spun off into its own wiki, where Chris' life could be documented in-depth.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WikiWalk Wiki Walk]: While researching ''Sonichu'' and the life of its creator, you just get pulled deeper and deeper by those potholes and links, learning more than you ever wanted to know about this person.
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Reading About This Guy's Ruined Life Will Ruin Your Life]: Between the various wikis and articles, many videos, reviews, parodies and if you're crazy enough the actual comic, catching up on this sorry saga will probably have you staying up even later than usual.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie The Woobie]: [http://www.colesmithey.com/ Cole Smithey], Chris's half brother (they share the same mother). He was routinely abused by his mother and her stepfather growing up, has been visited by her ''once'' since Chris was born, and his mother has lied about and refuses to disclose his biological father's identity. Surprisingly, Cole is a successful film critic who plays guitar in a jazz band and is happily married - the ''exact'' opposite of Chris.
** There's also Megan Schroeder (possibly Chris' only real friend), who was [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkerWithACrush stalked and sexually harassed by Chris], before he [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DethroningMomentOfSuck drew a picture of him fingerbanging her and uploaded it to ED to counter accusations of his homosexuality.] He then compounded this by saying that [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoralEventHorizon he only drew the picture to prevent himself from raping her.] She has since relocated, and is still traumatised by the saga.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhereDaWhiteWomenAt Where Da White Women At]: A former high school crush of Chris-Chan's is married to a black guy.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhiteKnighting White Knighting]: Chris tries to present himself in a way that leads to accusations of this. There is also a long string of people who, while at first genuinely seem to want to help Chris, eventually throw up their hands and become trolls.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WretchedHive Wretched Hive]: Some interpretations of CWCville.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritersCannotDoMaths Writers Cannot Do Maths]: "With the infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor, I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences." There aren't enough men in the world for that percentage to be accurate to that many significant figures.
** "[That's why they call it the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Xbox360 Xbox 360]; you take one look, turn 360° and walk away]...very appropriately called is a damn 120°, 130° whatever, whatever the half of 360° is."
** [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FacePalm "A car weighs a lot more than ten tons!"]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WrongGenreSavvy Wrong Genre Savvy]: Chris seems to have trouble distinguishing fiction from real life; he apparently believes that comic book characters are real and has even tried to [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RetCon Ret Con] [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealLife Real Life].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosSucker Xanatos Sucker]: Chris meets a girl on the internet. She asks for a password/damaging photos/a prized possession. A white knight, citing past examples, speculates that the girl's a troll, but Chris [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatAnIdiot refuses to listen despite happening before]. Later, the girl turns out - [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheNotSecret surprise!] - to be a troll. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndTheAdventureContinues Chris meets another girl on the internet. She asks for...]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailBiologyForever You Fail Biology Forever]: [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Squick Recycling].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailEconomicsForever You Fail Economics Forever]: Apparently, 10 years in jail = $1500 fine for alcohol consumption in CWCville.
** Chris stated that CWCville has ten "soup hotels," which he described as having "10 to 20 rooms per floor, each complete with bathroom facilities, bed, lighting and Cable TV," and are furthermore free to all homeless people. And they still don't have enough room in them for all the homeless people. It's speculated that the small town of CWCville has such a massive homeless problem because Chris taxes industry heavily to pay for such extravagant social expenses. [http://tinypic.com/r/2n3zv9/5 In general, fan theories about the mechanics of running those soup hotels abound.]
** There's a [[Chris and money|whole page]] dedicated to Chris's ignorance of simple economics.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailGeographyForever You Fail Geography Forever]: Chris believed one of his sweethearts died in the Australian brushfires. However, the brushfires took place in Victoria, and she was in South Australia at the time.
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailLawForever You Fail Law Forever]: Chris severely overestimates the extent to which derivative works can fall under Fair Use as parody and routinely threatens criminal prosecution for civil law matters.
** Chris also thought he could [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#More questionaire, Game Place is brewing|call the police on Michael Snyder for... refusing to forgive him and allow him back to The GAMe PLACe]]. Ultimately he didn't do that, possibly because Snyder called the police first.
** Also, he apparently thinks "Ricky" can be jailed for [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrowningMomentOfFunny mutilating the Medallion of Fail with a knife, defiling it with pickles, setting it alight and pissing on it.]
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailSexEdForever You Fail Sex Ed Forever]: For the sake of your sanity, [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TakeOurWordForIt take our word for it].
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouFailTheIQTest You Fail The IQ Test]: Chris has [[IRC (02 January 2009)|claimed]] (it's at 12:23) to have an IQ of over 300. The highest recorded IQ is 230, and even that score is questionable.
** He's also stated that he has taken a test in [[Mailbag 21|Chesterfield Co.]] that gave him an IQ of [[Mailbag 19|150]]. Some trolls speculate he may actually be talking about an Emotional IQ test, which is sometimes given to patients with Autism, and even then he's not fooling anyone.
*** Considering Chris's tendency to bend the truth and is incredibly likely to be psychotic...
* [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OverlyLongGag You Fail Life Forever]: What this page tries to say about Chris in short.
|}
----

Father Call

2012-06-28T09:10:39Z

Lime: /* External links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

[[Image:Md.PNG|thumb|Chris's drawing of <s>Guile</s> Kacey's father (from [[Sonichu Special 4]]).]]

On the fourth of [[November 2009|November, 2009]], [[Chris|Solid Chris]] spent a little over two hours on the phone one night with '''[[Troll|Matthew Devoria]]''' (born [[1957]]), father of his would-be [[sweetheart]] [[Kacey]]. Matthew is apparently a retired [[Wikipedia:United States Marine Corps|U.S. Marine]] who served in the [[Wikipedia:Gulf War|Gulf War]].

Chris uses the opportunity of speaking to the father of a heartsweet by boasting of his now legendary [[honest content|honesty]], before flimsily attempting to defend himself from an angry father.

Their conversation is illuminating. This is probably the most blunt assessment of himself and his place in the world that Chris has ever directly received: Matthew berates Chris for his [[Monthly tugboat|laziness]], [[Chris and death|lack of empathy]], inability to grow up, [[chris and health|unhealthy lifestyle]], [[Obesity|being overweight]], and general failure at life. It is unlikely that Chris will take any of Matt and Kacey's advice to heart, as he retorts by saying that he leads a [[lie|hard life]], which includes such laborious tasks as doing [[:Image:Gibson.jpg|menial chores]], mowing the lawn, which he uses a [[CWC Fighter|riding lawn mower]] to do, and [[Tour of Chris's House|cleaning the house]]. He also claims to be [[I AM STRONG|strong]] and that he [[Guitar Hero|exercises]] [[Mass debating|regularly]], as well as eating healthy by going to [[McDonald's]] only once per week and [[Homo|shoving vegetables down his throat]].

After being berated with insults for two hours, [[stress]] overcame him and Chris became increasingly more [[chris and anger|upset]]. In general, Chris greatly offended Kacey and her father, causing her to rethink her decision and go back to [[CChanSonichuCWC|Liquid]].

Chris recorded his [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5 November video]] as a follow-up to this conversation, hoping to repair his relationship with Kacey. He then had another [[Kacey and Liquid Call|phone conversation with Kacey]], which ended equally poorly.

==Summary==
* The call begins with Chris talking to Kacey and making some rather dubious sounding claims about his weight-lifting prowess. Kacey doesn't bother to question Chris on these claims, and instead hand the phone over to her father, Matthew.
* Matthew is fairly civil toward Chris to begin with, though it's immediately obvious that Matthew doesn't have much respect for him. Matthew begins by calling out Chris on his underwhelming employment record, and tells him that no sane employer would take his claim of being a Pokemon Gym Leader seriously.
* Upon being questioned as to the source of his monthly income, Chris reveals his [[autism]] and the corresponding [[monthly tugboat]]. Matthew asks if any hypothetical children of Chris and Kacey would also be autistic (or "'tard babies" to use Matthew's phrasing), and while Chris denies that they would be, Matthew checks with Kacey, who confirms that autism is more often than not genetic. This is the first of several times Chris [[lie]]s during the call, and while Matthew goes easy on him this time, he won't be so generous when Chris does it again.
* Chris reveals his dream about God promising him a daughter named Crystal. Not only does Matthew consider the idea of God sending Chris messages to be blasphemous, he doesn't even like Crystal as a name and thinks it's more appropriate for a stripper.
* After indirectly confirming to Matthew that he was interested primarily in Kacey for her looks, Chris is questioned on why [[Liquid Chris]] (who Matthew will sing the praises of many times during the call) was impersonating him. Solid Chris's response is to claim that Liquid was jealous of his success with Sonichu. Matthew is at first completely bewildered as to why Chris is spending so much time on Sonichu, before using it to make the point that Chris has completely failed to move on from his teenage years.
* The tone of the conversation takes a significant turn for the worse when Matthew brings up the subject of [[Twin Falling Towers|Chris's little 9/11 video]], and says that he found it especially offensive, since his mother (Kacey's grandmother) was one of the casualties in the World Trade Center that day. Chris's only response is to say the video was really [[Clyde Cash]]'s fault, because he was being mean to Chris.
* Chris tries to elicit sympathy by claiming to have undergone "war-like tribulations" in his life. Matthew tells Chris what war is ''actually'' like, recounting his Gulf War experiences, particularly an incident where he had to carry a dead colleague back to base. Chris retracts his statement about his problems being "war-like," but carries on whining about the hard burdens he's had to deal with, including having to pull up weeds, mow the lawn, move furniture, and bury his beloved [[Patti Chandler|dog]]. Matthew is even more offended by the insinuation that this is equal to the death of his mother.
* Chris doesn't let the fact that his attempts to earn sympathy aren't working discourage him, and rants semi-coherently about how the evil [[troll]]s have [[Kick the Autistic|made his life a misery]]. Not only does this self-pitying whining severely annoy Matthew, Chris unwittingly digs himself a deeper hole by revealing his [[Ohio trip|road trip to Ohio]] in the [[Julie]] saga, causing Matthew to angrily question him on why he won't come to D.C. to meet Kacey.
* Matthew accuses Chris of acting like a child, and mentions his tour of [[14 Branchland Court]] as proof that Chris is lazy and unwilling to take responsibility. Chris just tries to blame [[Barb]] for not helping him, causing Matthew to sarcastically comment on his lack of maturity, only for Chris to miss the sarcasm and think Matthew is actually agreeing with him.
* In an unbelievably insensitive move even by his standards, Chris tries to compare the effort of tidying his house with the effort Matthew spent carrying his dead colleague back to base. Matthew is ''furious'' at this comparison, and gets Kacey back on the phone to tell her how full of shit Chris is. Kacey tells Chris that he needs to respect Matthew more, before handing the phone back to her father.
* An off-hand remark about the library leads Matthew to question Chris on his reading habits. Chris says that the last book he read was ''To Kill a Mockingbird''... and then starts describing the plot of ''Of Mice and Men''. Upon having this pointed out, Chris remembers which book he's talking about and gives a vaguely correct description of the plot, but seems to have only read (or paid attention to) the first half of the story.
* Matthew says that Kacey reads books like Chris stuffs candy down his throat, and Chris ''completely'' misses the point and angrily claims he has a healthy lifestyle. Needless to say, Matthew thoroughly mocks Chris's lack of basic comprehension skills, and challenges him to produce a video of himself exercising in order to prove his obviously false claims of being healthy.
* Returning to the subject of Crystal, Matthew asks Chris how he intends to support himself, Kacey and a child on his monthly tugboat and a minimum wage job. Chris tries to claim that $8/hour is plenty for a family of three, to which Matthew points out that not only is that amount of money nowhere near enough, the minimum wage is actually $7.25/hour. Chris takes a sneering tone during this debate, only serving to piss Matthew off even more, and causing Kacey to again tell Chris to respect Matthew. By this point Kacey is getting pissed off with Chris's disrespect and clear failure to listen to her advice.
* Matthew again questions Chris on his lifestyle, and asks him to take his pulse. Chris discovers his pulse to be eighty-four per minute; Kacey overhears this and tells Chris that with his history of heart trouble, such a pulse indicates a serious problem. Chris doesn't seem at all bothered by this, which really annoys Kacey and causes her to storm off.
* Chris bizarrely attempts to make himself look better by boasting that he's American born and bred. Matthew points out that not only is this irrelevant since Kacey and Liquid Chris are also American, true patriots don't make videos mocking 9/11.
* Matthew decides to test Chris's memory and asks him various details about Kacey; Chris gets her favorite color vaguely right, has no idea what her favorite flower is, and takes forever to remember which of her family members died on 9/11. Matthew tells Chris that he must be [[naive]] to think he would have any chance with Kacey; Chris gets ''really'' annoyed by Matthew's usage of the word "naive" and actually implies that he would try to kick Matthew's ass were they in the same room. At least until Matthew reminds him which of the two was formerly in the USMC, causing Chris to quickly backtract on his threats.
* Out of nowhere, Chris suddenly brings up his experience of being restrained by his Elementary School principal and teachers. This is probably yet another attempt to gain sympathy, but Matthew just considers it more evidence that Chris has serious problems, and points out how hypocritical it is for him to accuse Liquid of being the crazy one.
* Matthew brings up Chris's first meeting with Kacey (and her sister), and accuses him of acting in an inappropriately "touchy-feely" manner, which Chris just flat-out denies being true. This leads into Matthew questioning Chris on where he would take Kacey on a date, and in turn how much he would tip the server. Chris's response indicates that he believes the "15% rule" to be a cast-iron rule, rather than just a rough guideline for tipping.
* Chris abruptly attempts to end the call, partly because of how late at night it is, but also because he thinks Matthew is being disrespectful to ''him''. Kacey comes back one last time and rails at Chris for being disrespectful and generally full of shit; Chris doesn't give a clear answer to any of her accusations, resulting in her storming out of the call for good. The tape runs out before the call actually ends, but it's clear by now that Chris has fucked up, big time.

==Transcript==
===Matthew makes the scene===

'''Kacey:''' Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Hi Kacey, how are you?

'''Kacey:''' Um, I'm cool, um, I'm over at my parents' house cause, um, they wanted to call 'cause they saw some of your videos and I gave them the letter...

'''Chris:''' Okay, all right. Actually, I'm uploading a [[11042009 51 50|video]] now, I did 51 reps with, uh, fifty-pound weights...not really weights, but...

'''Kacey:''' You did 51 reps or 51 times? 'Cause reps are different.

'''Chris:''' You know, lifted them up, 51 times, lifted them up with each arm. 51 times each arm, so it's a total of 102.

'''Kacey:''' Hm. Well, was it hard?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it was hard, but it was a show of strength anyway.

'''Kacey:''' Um, that's funny, 'cause I have to lift, like... 100 or more pounds for my job but, um, let me go ahead and get my dad, because he wants to talk to you.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, what's his name? ...Okay.

'''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, it's Matthew.

'''Chris:''' Matthew? Okay.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' All right.

'''Kacey:''' All right well just give me a minute.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Matthew:''' Hello, Chris. This is ''Matthew'', Kacey's father.

'''Chris:''' Hello, s- good evening, sir, how are you?

'''Matthew:''' I'm good, thank you. How are you?

'''Chris:''' I'm doing good.

'''Matthew:''' Good, good... So, uh... So, I've got a couple of questions for you... Well, more than a couple.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, that's fine, I'm happy to oblige with an an- with an [[honest content|honest]] answer.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, well uh, first and foremost, let's see... You got a job, son?

'''Chris:''' Not currently, but [[Chris's resume|I am working towards getting a job]]. I have been filling out applications left and right.

'''Matthew:''' Really, really, what kind of places? What kind of skills you got?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, w- yeah, I'm looking a- I'm applying for, like, uh- retail stores and such, I've got an application for a new CVS in [[Ruckersville]], and uh, one over at [[Wal-Mart]], and had one over at [[Target]]... I have worked before, I've worked at [[Wendy's]] in Ruckersville for a few months... First off, I worked off as a sales representative for [[Cutco]] cutlery.

'''Matthew:''' Right, that's minimum wage stuff... Did you go to college or something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|I went to college]] and, uh, got a degree and a certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Graphic and Design]].

'''Matthew:''' And you're working at...''Target''... I mean, I know the economy's bad, but I mean...surely, you've gotta, you know, use that somehow, right? ...How old are you again?

'''Chris:''' I'm 27...sir.

'''Matthew:''' You're almost ''thirty'' and you're working at, uh...''Target''. You wanna work at Target, I should say.

'''Chris:''' Hm...yeah, well, not really sure what kind of jobs my, uh...degree and certificate would get me, but I mean, like, you know... but I mean, if I- if I did know, then I'd certainly strike up on the job...

'''Matthew:''' You got a degree not knowing what kind of jobs you could get...in that field, and you've had it for how long? When did you graduate?

'''Chris:''' Uh... I graduated in 2006.

'''Matthew:''' 2006, so you've had it for three years and you have done nothing with it... Hm, you haven't had any jobs between then?

===Pokémon volunteer and Chris's home===
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I had- I did- I have done volunteer work... Uh...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't pay, though. Although, what kind? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of volunteer work? Humor me.

'''Chris:''' All right, yeah, well, I have the- I helped the children over at the [[The GAMe PLACe|Citizens' Gym League]] for the [[Pokémon]] Trading [[Card games|Card Game]] league a few years back...

'''Matthew:''' ''Pokémon''? Wait, wait, that...

'''Chris:''' You know, teach them how to play, build decks from what scraps they had, make sure they kept in order, don't get too crazy...

'''Matthew:''' And...how long ago was this?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Matthew:''' How long ago was this? I mean, wasn't that ''Pokémon'' thing, wasn't that back in [[1990s|the 90s]] when that was really popular? Because I think my youngest daughter used to like that, but you know, that was years ago.

'''Chris:''' That was the late 90s.

'''Matthew:''' LATE 90s.

'''Chris:''' And- um- that's still going strong. Maybe I-

'''Matthew:''' If you say so.

'''Chris:''' ...And I have been doing that from 1998 'till about 2008. So about ten years I've been doing that.

'''Matthew:''' Right. You've been playing a children's card game for ten years.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, but also, like, as you know, like, a form of babysitting.

'''Matthew:''' Babysitting... but doesn't babysitting usually, you know, pay? And, I mean, that doesn't sound like you're volunteering. When I think volunteering work, I think like, you know, Red Cross, that kind of thing. You know, actually going out and really helping people, planting trees, that kind of stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have- I have been- I have helped people out. You know, I, uh, helped, like, the parents mind...knowing their children were in a safe environment and I helped ensure children were playing and were within the safe environment and that nothing was to go wrong and, uh, and I was respected as an authoritative figure in that sense.

'''Matthew:''' And...but...are you still doing this? I mean, or what are you doing right now? If you stopped, why aren't you doing this anymore?

'''Chris:''' Ummm...yeah, I was kinda like, uh, you know, uh, not so good at showing up, so it was like my choice on ending that, you know. But yeah, it was kind of a sad day for me, you know, to have to put that behind me, but, you know, we gotta move on. But anyway, aside from that, I...I've been searching and, uh, doing yardwork for my family and other sorts of...heavy lifting.

'''Matthew:''' Right, right... Well, anyways, I'm done talking about, uh, ''Pok-e-man'' now. I got a couple more. So, uh, what kind of place you got, you got a place of your own? Where you living at?

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I'm currently living in a [[14 Branchland Court|two-story house]] with my [[mother]] and my [[father]].

'''Matthew:''' Living with your parents, age 30. Got it. [''Chris tries to interrupt''] ''Almost'' 30, excuse me.

'''Chris:''' Well, uh, I hope that, uh, doesn't strike you in a bad thing, but it's like, uh, I just did not feel comfortable leaving the safety of my home with the, uh, for a while.

'''Matthew:''' And, uh, why is that exactly?

'''Chris:''' 'Cause I could not really, I just did not feel, you know, like I was ready for a place of my own just yet.

'''Matthew:''' You gotta leave somehow, you've gotta leave at some point. I think most of my kids will, you know, move out 18, 20... I'm okay if they hang out while they're in college, but after that they gotta start looking for a place of their own, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah...yeah. But, you know, to each their own individual growth rates.

'''Matthew:''' Right, but, but uh, I just gotta ask, though... I mean, you're really serious about Kacey, are you not?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, I am serious about Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Okay so...uh-

'''Chris:''' And with her help, I feel like I could get a good start on being able to, uh, you know, shortly, in the near future, move out of my- of the house.

'''Matthew:''' ...With her help?

'''Chris:''' ...And get a place of my own...

'''Matthew:''' You need her help in order to support both of you?

'''Chris:''' [''floundering''] It's more like, you know...um... Some details I'm not understand... I talk to my parents sometimes about that, but it's like, uh, you know...uh...I...it's like a...whole bunch of details...you know...yeah.

'''Matthew:''' EXPLAIN, PLEASE. I don't know what these details are.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, I'm still, like, uh, I would need like, you know, external influence, you know, somebody outside the house to help me feel more comfortable in moving out.

'''Matthew:''' You could, you know, people are always looking for roommates, you know, just go to any college board, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...but still, I mean, that's not...

'''Matthew:''' That's not really an excuse.

'''Chris:''' That's not something I would feel comfortable with, since, uh, I haven't been to college for a few years, you know...I keep between myself...

'''Matthew:''' So, but I mean really, if you can't s-s- If you can't support my daughter, my daughter needs a man, a MAN to support her.

'''Chris:''' I am a man, sir.

===Financial Situation and Crystal the 'Tard-baby===
'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't understand the question.

'''Matthew:''' How serious are you about my daughter? Really. If you aren't even willing to support yourself, you know, like that uh...

'''Chris:''' I am willing, I am able to support myself as well. I'm able to support myself. And I will be able to support your daughter as well.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, then t-then then why aren't you? I mean, where's the money gonna come from?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I do have, I do have a- I do have a- a [[Monthly tugboat|monthly income]]. I get, uh--

'''Matthew:''' Do you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I get it fro- yeah, pretty much- I get it from the government. My family is a little bit in with the government.

'''Matthew:''' S-s-so w-why do you- why do you get welfare? Mi-might I ask? Or, whatever you call it. Um...

'''Chris:''' You can call it, like, you know, a stepping-stone in the right direction of, uh, me movin- me moving out and- and all that, but seriously, though, I am very strong-willed, and I feel like, and I feel that I could, that when- that- I could- I would be able to take care of Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You're avoiding my question. Why are you on, I think it's actually called Social Security. Why do you get it? I mean, I'm a pretty strong Republican, we don't really like that whole welfare thing. We work, and if we can't work, we go join the military. That's what I did.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I understand that. You see, I'm [[Autism|high-functionally autistic]].

'''Matthew:''' Are you now?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was diagnosed with that at a young age, and I was, I still have [''brief disconnection''] just a few years ago.

'''Matthew:''' So, ah...isn't that [[autism]] thing, it's like a, you're not, like, ''retarded'', are you?

'''Chris:''' Ah, I'm sorry, not really, what?

'''Matthew:''' I'm just saying, you know, that's a genetic thing, right? I don't want any, if you're really going to get with my daughter, I don't want 'tard-babies.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, autism is not genetic.

'''Matthew:''' Ah, I think I read somewhere that it was, actually. I'm pretty sure I did.

'''Chris:''' No, no, it's a myth. That's a myth.

'''Matthew:''' A myth. A myth.

'''Chris:''' Autism is not genetic. You're not gonna have, there would be no retarded grandchildren on your part. I can guar... I can promise you that.

'''Matthew:''' If you say so. If you really say so. I'm looking this stuff up right now. My Kacey, she's in medicine, she knows this stuff, she's an expert.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, like, you know, it might be also...

'''Matthew:''' Actually, hold on, she's right over here. Hey, Kacey, what do you know about autism? Is that genetic?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it's definitely genetic. It usually runs in the mother's line but it can be in the father's as well. But it's usually the mother's. And twins have a much higher chance.

'''Chris:''' [''In a relatively quiet sigh''] Great.

'''Kacey:''' Anything else, Dad?

'''Matthew:''' Ah...no, I think that's good, yeah, you go... What were you doing again?

'''Kacey:''' I need to go finish washing the dishes. I'll be right back, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' I think there's some cake down there, too. Go help yourself or something.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, sweet! Thanks, Dad.

'''Matthew:''' Anyways, where was I? Let's see... If you really want a kid with my Kacey, I think you'd probably be best if you adopted or something. That's a good thing, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, in my case, I would not, I do not, I would not care to adopt. You see, I have a dream, I have my dream, and that dream is to give birth, to have, to share a daughter with my wife-to-be, and her name would be [[Crystal]].

'''Matthew:''' A dream...as in, you were asleep and you saw something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Plus, in the dream, I had, like, an office job.

'''Matthew:''' An office job. Right.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I don't think, Kacey actually doesn't really like that name. You know, it's kind of a stripper name, Cri-STAL, it's kinda like Cristal, that champagne...

'''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, it would not, it would not, it would not be Cri-STAL, it would be Cri-STUL. Does that make sense?

'''Matthew:''' It's still pretty close.

'''Chris:''' It's fairly, it does sound close, but it's not, you're not, you're just replacing the C-R-I-S-T-L-E, you're replacing the L-E with an A-L.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but even so...you said this all came to you in a dream...dreams, they don't pay the bills. It's just a dream. That's all just from your head. I had a dream once where, you know, I was flying. You don't see me doing that.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, okay, but I mean, it's like in, yeah. Flying, yeah, you're definitely not going to be able to fly on your own. Sure. But it's like, you know, when you see a dream that's actually reasonable, that you can actually picture yourself doing in the future while you're awake. You know? It's like a career thing. You know, it's like, yeah, you definitely, it's like, you know, when your child, there's a chance you could become a cowboy if you dreamed of being a cowboy. But, you know, that may not be, that may seem kind of far-fetched, if you're living in a place that's not near or in Texas, but if you're like, if you dreamed you want, if you want, if you dreamed you wanted to be, to become a teacher, that's more likely, that's more likely possible. You can get the degree and become a teacher.

'''Matthew:''' So? If you want to go do it, be a teacher, go to work in an office, GO WORK IN AN OFFICE! Go apply to an office. Don't dream about it, dreams do nothing for you, they don't pay the bills.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I am taking, I have been, I have been working on that, and I have been taking action on looking for good jobs. Definitely looking in office jobs.

===Prophetic dreams and Bob Chandler===
'''Matthew:''' You think you have some kind of powers of prophecy? That doesn't seem very, I don't know, to me it doesn't seem very Godly, you know.

'''Chris:''' No, ah, ah, ah, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that I'm a prophet. I'm not saying that. But, you know, it's definitely something that, you know, it's definitely something that I feel that God has promised to me and [[Chris and religion|I believe in God]], I go to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] every Sunday, and like, like in...

'''Matthew:''' That sounds like being a prophet to me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you do, yeah, there are prophets that are mentioned in the Bible.

'''Matthew:''' Yes, but.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not, I, but, I am not saying that I am a prophet. Not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' Son, I go to church every Sunday too, and I've never had any kind of dreams of anything telling me that something is going to happen. God doesn't do that. God doesn't tell you things like that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you never know, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it'll just, it depends on the people, you know? You never know it, but you know, you might actually have gotten a message in a dream that may have actually [''brief interruption''] but you might, you might not have caught on as quickly, or...and I do not mean to insult you, but, ah, yeah, right now, conflicted by, you know, retrospect, you might actually realize that could have been a message from God.

'''Matthew:''' Naaaah... if you think you see the future, that sounds like you're trying to be a prophet. That doesn't really sound religious, that just sounds like some [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|mumbo-jumbo]] to me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying that it is the definite future, but that it is a POSSIBLE future. And I am looking-and I am looking to make that happen.

'''Matthew:''' Well, MAKE it happen.

'''Chris:''' I am going to.

'''Matthew:''' Do it. And if it's not a message from god, you should go out, you should do it. Why don't you go- don't wait for it, it sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for it. When did you have this dream, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much, I pretty much had it when I was between seven and nine years old-

'''Matthew:''' Seven-wh-TWENTY YEARS AGO? Excuse me? And nothing has happened between then and now?

'''Chris:''' ''[floundering]'' I was definitely, like, in my [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|elementary school years]]...

'''Matthew:''' And you hold onto this dream...I mean, you're almost thirty, you're, you know...time is gonna start working against you, you know? I mean, life is short.

'''Chris:''' Yes, it is.

'''Matthew:''' And you're living with your parents. I mean, what do you do all day, exactly?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get creative by uh, I like to [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original|draw and color]]. And uh, sometimes I like to create with my hands, you know, I [[Medallions of Fail|sculpt]]. And, uh even as far as, you know, just tinkering with, anything I like tinkering with. I even have-I am even [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|technologically smart]]. I even took a [[computer]] upgrading class where I put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch.

'''Matthew:''' So...why aren't you working building computers or something? It sounds like something you could do.

'''Chris:''' [''ignoring this fairly good point''] Hm, yeah, it is. Hm. Well I pretty much did get started on the techno-savvy, I would say, from my father. He's a retired technical engineer, he worked for GE for a number of years, he also, uh, was in the, well he was stationed over in Korea in the Signal Corps. He-he designed the controls for the plastic auto machines for his other achievements. So without him we would not have the plastic for, at the very least, your soda bottles.

'''Matthew:''' That's all fine and good, I mean, your father...but I'm not talking about your father, I'm talking about you.

'''Chris:''' I'm just pointing it out as hinting at my technological influence.

'''Matthew:''' But...you haven't done anything, unlike your father. That's what I'm getting here. That's not good, son. I mean, when I was 27 I already had a wife and kids, I was working 40 hours a week.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...umm...yes, well, my father didn't marry-my father did not marry the first time till he was 30 himself.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah but you know, he probably also had a job and was living on his own, and he was also in the military, like me. So I don't really care about what your father did, because that's what he did, that's not what you did.

'''Chris:''' I understand-I understand th-I understand what you're talk-I understand...talking about...and, you know, and your point.

'''Matthew:''' Right.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I make a, I am trying to make a valid point myself. I feel like that, you know, we both are definitely understanding each other.

===Kacey's boobs and Internet fame===
'''Matthew:''' Really? I must say, I'm not really impressed, but, uh, let's move on. Let's talk a little bit about what you think about my lovely daughter. What was the first thing you liked or noticed about Kacey?

'''Chris:''' I noticed her beautiful face.

'''Matthew:''' Her beautiful face.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And her blue-green eyes are like a pair of swimming pools that I would just like to swim around and bathe myself in.

'''Matthew:''' ''[extremely uncomfortable laughter]'' So the first thing you noticed was her appearance.

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] But also I definitely like to take note over time, over talking to her, one day that she was very smart and very fun to hang around with, and she definitely knows what she's talking about. If anything [''laughs''] she could be a little bit sm- she could be smarter than me [[Ego|on some things]].

'''Matthew:''' But still, the first thing that, uh, you noticed, was her appearance. So, were you looking for like a trophy wife or something? It's kind of funny...

'''Chris:''' [''stuttering''] The first thing I noticed about her in person, when we talked first, you know, between phone calls and e-mails, after kind of an indirect meeting there, but anyway. I actually learned first that she was smart and very delightful to talk to. And then after a while, she and I met in person, and then I got to appreciate her face. And the-the smart, charming wit behind it.

'''Matthew:''' This doesn't really add up to what Kacey told me, you know. The impressions I got from what she said about your first little..."encounter," we'll call it...she said she was a little bit...uncomfortable around you, you know? And apparently when you first talked to her, you actually were [[Kacey Phone Call|pretending to be somebody else]], actually. You know, that [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]].

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well he was, that was another thing. Yeah. All right, yeah.

'''Matthew:''' She didn't like that much.

'''Chris:''' My friend [[Kim]], she helped me, uh, get into that Chris's e-mail account. Before I ever learned about Kacey-

'''Matthew:''' You know, that Chris was her boyfriend at the time, you know? I mean, I've actually talked to that guy and met him in person, he's actually a pretty nice kid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but if you watch his [[YouTube]] videos he does get a little crazy. But anyway for the past few months now...he was, you know, he was pretending to be me, and a few months ago, he pretends, or I'm assuming he pretends, that he gets kidnapped and tied up, and sent to the desert. And then Kacey tells me that cops ''[incomprehensible]'' in the desert, but I'm going off track here-

'''Matthew:''' That just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he pretend to be you? Someone like you, guy who lives with his parents.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Okay, first off, I'm Internet famous for being the original creator of the, uh...it's like a combination of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and Pikachu [''Kacey's Dad groans''], so I was the original creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. And I created him on March 17, [[2000]], and I drew the [[comic]] books...I originally started that back in 2000, and I've drawn a few books and I'm still doing some drawing, I don't like to leave an unfinished project finished. But-

'''Matthew:''' [''Has been trying to interrupt for the last 30 seconds''] Okay, so...you know, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about? I barely know what Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokémon is other than it's kids' stuff. So basically what I'm getting here is you took two kids' things and put them together, you know, two [[Chris and copyright|copyrighted]] kids' things...

'''Chris:''' But it's making up a whole new character, and my father has the knowledge with the [[copyrights]] and whatnot, and he verifies for me that I have been in the clear the whole time, from the beginning, to uh, to continue on with Sonichu being m-Sonichu and Rosechu being my original creation. And I create the original stories and everything, and the books, and I've done the [[CWCipedia]], which was originally on the CWC Sonichu site speaking of which, CWC is my name, Christian Weston Chandler. Anyway, I've been going on with that since 2000, uh-

'''Matthew:''' Which means you were 18 when you made this. You were what, a senior in high school? You were playing with kids' stuff? And that's what you've been doing for...what, you know, since then? You're 27 years old? You're playing with kids' stuff? I mean, like, little kids' stuff. I mean, like, ten-year-olds.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, it may sound like that, but in a sense, it was definitely a fad that I was, uh, enjoying, and, uh-

'''Matthew:''' But fads, they come and go.

'''Chris:''' -until when I had to like, uh, which was just a year and a half ago, I had to let that go, and I let that go a year and a half ago. But anyway, getting back to, uh...

'''Matthew:''' You said it was popular, still. But you're not making any money off it. You're just doing this while you sit around in your parents' house for no real reason, because like I said, you're not making any money off this, and you still wanna be a boyfriend.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it is a thing I’m doing to make money off of, I could be, it is a thing that I am working on starting to make money off of, I am in talks with the com- comic book company, as well as Nintendo of America, about, uh, you know, about possibly, about the likelihood of me being able to, uh, of, uh, us getting together... making money off of this, cuz, obviously, since 2000 it became more and more popular on the, uh, Internet, and I became Internet famous and, uh, along with a bunch of the fans like that, I was, ah...

'''Matthew:''' Don’t you... don’t you need permission from both [[SEGA]], and [[Nintendo]]? I mean, is that, Sonic is from Sega, right? I mean, I know a little bit about what my daughter was… my little daughter used to talk about... I kinda know what a Sega is, I think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I have talked to Sega as well, but anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, if I may finish... yeah. Anyway, yeah, I got Internet famous, I got the fans, and then I got the naysayers which were the Internet bullies and trolls... and, uh... and uh, that Chris, and uh, Chris over there, was uh, he was one of them, and uh before, and this is, uh before I met Kacey he uh, he started pretending to be me, on the, in YouTube videos. And, uh...

'''Matthew:''' This... okay, I’m sorry, this is just getting completely ridiculous, all this Internet, I mean you just, all this Internet stuff, I don’t, I don’t know much about computers, but I mean, that’s just... this sounds like just a whole waste of time, that I don’t care about, because it doesn’t pay the bills, and it DOES NOT help support Ka- my Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I- I- I understand that.

===Twin Falling Towers and getting fired===
'''Matthew:''' I mean, I was in the MILITARY. I was DOING something. I fought in Desert STORM. I fought against Saddam HUSSEIN.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... okay... you fought in Desert Storm, you fought against Saddam... that’s all good, that’s very good. That’s honorable. That is honorable.

'''Matthew:''' But... and then what- and then YOU, you made this... Son-ni-chu thing. I mean... it’s like... ah, this is, something’s, something’s not right here, you know? But, but, but since you did bring up Youtube, I got, I got kind of an interesting little thing... that I noticed, in one of your recent videos, heh. I mean, I don’t know what exactly you were thinking, with this, um... you know, you did [[Twin Falling Towers|that video with the, ah... 9/11]]. I can’t say I really enjoyed that too much. I mean... that kinda hits... that kinda hits close to home to me, you know, I mean...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I, yeah, I realize, I realize that now, and I have received the complaints so, yeah that’s why I have... I put that...

'''Matthew:'''You’re lucky I don’t... you’re lucky I don’t have a Youtube, son. I mean, my... I mean, that hits close to home to me. My MOTHER, Kacey’s grandmother... y’know, she DIED on 9/11.

'''Chris:''' I, um... I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, and I, uh, I mean, it’s like, I did not mean to hit that, hit that fragile emotion, ah, it was originally, ah, a thing, against a longer, worser- worser Internet [[troll]], who goes by the name of [[Clyde Cash]], whose alias is Gregg Mays, and...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that’s just a whole nother story, right there. Anyway, I had...

'''Matthew:''' You made a video, basically, just trying to, trying to mess with some... GUY... on the Internet... that makes fun of one of the greatest American tragedies of our lifetime- no, THE Amer- greatest American tragedy of our lifetime.

'''Chris:''' Mm... yes, but, yeah but this guy, uh, he’s done a lot, he’s done a lot of things against me, yeah, on the Internet, trying to... you know... y-yeah, trying to destroy my good name with, uh, a whole bunch of twisted tru- told a whole bunch of twisted truths and phrases, and, words, and, I- that I have said, he just twist them around to- in evil ways and just, like some, and just, try- he’s one of those that just- and trying to slander my good name... And, uh, worse off, and worse off, and worse off, and worse off...

'''Matthew:''' Okay, let me ask you... let me ask you something. Where were you, on 9/11? I mean, they say everybody remembers where they were on 9/11 when they heard that those towers were going down, when a plane had hit those towers, and THOUSANDS of people DIED.

'''Chris:''' Yeah... I do remember where I was on, uh, 9/11, yeah, I was a, I had just, uh, I was just, uh, let go, from uh, my job at, uh, Wendy’s, it was uh, for, there was some differences between me and my employer, you know, I... [''trails off with a faint groan''] Yeah, but anyway,

'''Matthew:''' Would you like to know where Kacey was? Would you like to know where Kacey was?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, okay, well, if I may finish, if I may finish, yeah, I was-

'''Matthew:''' No. No, I’m sorry. No, no, Kacey was AT Ground Zero. She was giving BLOOD, and plasma, volunteering, and where were you again?

'''Chris:''' [''Pause''] Hm. Yeah, I was out shopping with my mom that day.

'''Matthew:''' ...Uh-huh. Really. That’s...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' ...That’s wonderful. Wait a minute, you said Wendy’s before. That... are you changing stories on me? H-have you been, like, changing stories on me through this entire call?

'''Chris:'''No, no I'm not changing-

'''Matthew:''' Are you just making shit up now?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not changing stories, this is the same story, I had just gotten fired from the Wendy's and I was feeling down, and I, I was feeling down...

'''Matthew:''' You'd been FIRED from Wendy's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I was, yeah, let go. I was let go from Wendy's, and I was sad, I was sad about that, you know, they gave me...

'''Matthew:''' WHY?

'''Chris:''' I told you! It was, it was because of, uh, emotional differences.

'''Matthew:''' Emotional differences.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, my, my, my employer, my...

'''Matthew:''' That's...this is absolutely nothing, that just sounds like a bunch of bullsheeit.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Also sounds a little GAY. [''Chris stammers, splutters, and sighs in the background''] I mean, what, did the fry cook break up with you or something? I mean, come on.

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] No! It was nothing, it was nothing like that! It was a misunderstanding, something...

'''Matthew:''' Why do you [[sigh]] so much? That's just irritating.

'''Chris:''' That was, that was, that was misunderstanding, that was just, there was a whole bunch of misunderstandings between me and my employer, and he, and he has, and he had, and he had, and he had a spike on his shoulder against me. And, and, and, and then, and then that was why he, and then that was why he eventually fired me...

'''Matthew:''' [''has been trying to interrupt Chris's stammering for a while''] WHAT KIND OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Like I, like I did, like I did some things that he thought were bad but were, that he thought were bad but were actually good. And then he let, and then he, and then he let me, and then he let me go based on that. Anyway, yeah, I, anyway, this was a couple of days before 9/11 and I was still feeling down from being let go, and then, on 9/11 I was out shopping with my mother that day.

===Maturity, and [[chores]]===
'''Matthew:''' Good god, I mean, you sound like you're just, you sound like you're just some simpering little...your voice is all wavery...good lord. You want to date...YOU? You want to date my daughter? You're not even giving me an ounce of respect now.

'''Chris:''' Oh come, oh come, oh come on, I grew up a lot, I grew up a lot since then! [''rapidly loses coherence''] I've grown, I've grown up a lot, in sounds, in sounds, duetothegirl, and, sounds strite, sound, in sound mind.

'''Matthew:''' Goddamn. This just sounds like a bunch of fucking whining. You're not even, you don't even sound like half the man that other Chris sounds like at this point. You don't sound like you've grown up. You play fucking Pokeymon all the time!

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's dander is up.''] I am, I am, I am a grown-up ''sir''! I have moved, I have [[Pokéwalker of Fail|moved on]] from Pokémon [[June 2010|years ago]]! I am a grown-up! I have moved on from the childish things.

'''Matthew:''' No, you didn't move from...you went from Pokémon to Sonichu. What the fuck? This is still just kid shit. You don't have a job. You're still living with your parents. Almost 30 years old. This is ridiculous. You want to date my daughter. You realize that she's LEAGUES above you right now. She's out of your reach.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting a word in edgewise after many stammers''] I have, I have, I have suffered through my own, through my own trials and tribulations that would be war-like. I have suffered through a whole bunch of...enduring physical pains as well. You just could not, you just could not imagine...

'''Matthew:''' [''laughing''] Physical pain! [''more laughter''] God, this is...

'''Chris:''' I have, I have worked myself to the bone a lot!

'''Matthew:''' This is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' And I have, I have felt heartaches, and I have felt like...

'''Matthew:''' You don't know what physical pain feels like...

'''Chris:''' I have felt like I couldn't move on. But then, but then I still move on.

'''Matthew:''' ...until you have taken a bullet in the fucking chest. I'm lucky to be alive. My comrade, one of my good buddies, he wasn't so lucky. He died right next to me. I carried him back...

'''Chris:''' [''humbled''] Yeah, well, well, yeah, that is, that was, that was very heroic and I commend you for that good sir.

'''Matthew:''' Sure. Yeah. I'm sure. You don't need to commend me. Now you're just kissing ass.

'''Chris:''' No! I am not just, I am not kissing ass!

'''Matthew:''' Okay. Well then. Alright. So really, okay...I have one more question, what do you have to offer my daughter, really? After I've heard all this, what exactly do you have to offer a future med student? She had a good fiancé, and now you think you can take her?

'''Chris:''' Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am [[Honest Content|HONEST]]...

'''Matthew:''' Really? He's going to be published! He has a job lined up!

'''Chris:''' Like, I am honest, I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, but this guy spoke several languages, he had connections in the comic-book industry, this guy could get a job right out of college, and you're mooching off the government, off of ''MY'' tax money! And you want to date my daughter. These two had so much in common, Kacey and Chris. She loved everything about him. And you? You just sit around, play with toys, and what, video games? Is that what you buy with your welfare money? Like Pokeyman shit?

'''Chris:''' I have not played with Pokémon [[Pokéwalker of Fail|for years]], sir!

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what do you play with?

'''Chris:''' Hmph.

'''Matthew:''' You denied Pokeyman, but you didn't deny video games.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yeah, I, okay, I have, I have, I have played some Gui-, I have played some [[Guitar Hero]].

'''Matthew:''' Guitar Hero.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' What the hell is that?

'''Chris:''' I have to stand, I have to stand up to play, I have to stand up and play gitar.

'''Matthew:''' You have to stand up to play ''guitar''! Oh, wow! That's...why don't you...that's just pathetic. You think that's exercise? Do you play a real guitar? I think the real Chris could play a real guitar.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] I work, I work hard for my father in his, in his gar-, in his gar-, in his garden! I pulled weeds! Those weeds are very hard to pull!

'''Matthew:''' Pulled weeds? My grandma pulled weeds! My grandma had arthritis and she pulled weeds every day!

'''Chris:''' [''short sigh''] Well, I'm sorry to hear that your grandma had ar-, had arthritis. But I, but I, I am, I am very strong sir. And I tell you, it was very hard and torturing work to pull, to pull, to, I was working under the hot hot sun, it was, those were very hot days!

'''Matthew:''' And you still look like a, I dunno, you look pretty fat to me. I mean, my Kacey, Kacey exercises. And she lost weight, she looks, you know, she looks wonderful. And you? I mean, do you even know...what is the hot sun? I've been in the Middle East. You don't know hot until you've been out in the fuckin' shit.

'''Chris:''' Okay, yes, okay, yes, I will agree with you that I cannot, I cannot understand heat, truly understand heat, until I'm truly in the middle of a desert. But still, it was, those were very hot days. And I pulled those weeds. And I even, I even, I even placed lumber around the edges of that garden, and I hammered labels of those flowers, and my, that my, that my father hand-wrote accurately, and figured, and, pat out the, and he showed me where to place them, I even helped him a little bit with placing them. And I placed, I hammered those labels hard into those pieces of lumber.

'''Matthew:''' That's, that just sounds like basic chores. Lumber, pulling weeds, on a good day I had to do 200 push-ups. And I saw [[30 Push-Ups|those push-ups]] you did, whatever you call them. Push-ups? That's not push-ups. That was, I dunno, you looked like you were flopping around like a... fish. Actually kinda looked like you were humping the floor or something.

'''Chris:''' [''unfazed''] I even mowed the lawn!

'''Matthew:''' Mowed the lawn! [''laughs''] Wow.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, and again, those were very hot days, too. And sometimes the lawnmower would quit on me! And I'd have to practically kick-start it, with my foot, I had to kick it to start it up again!

'''Matthew:''' You know, I see seven-year-olds who mow lawns all day for a summer job. All day. All summer. They do it just, they handle it just fine, why can't you? Oh, yeah, and they get paid for it, might I add.

'''Chris:''' [''Getting very angry at this point''] Yeah, well, I was not, well, I was not paid for mowing the lawn. And also, you know what? Another heavy-duty burden I had to take care of, and that I wasn't paid for? When [[Patti Chandler|my dog]] died, a few years ago, she was a sweet dog, I moved, I lifted and carried her doghouse to the site where we buried her. Her doghouse. That thing had to weigh, like, five, ten tons.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief'']

'''Chris:''' It was very heavy! I carried that thing.

===Death and fake Internet women===
'''Matthew:''' [''about to break down laughing''] You're talking to me about how your dog died, you're talking about someone who has lost friends and family in national tragedies. My mother, I had...I had to deal with the loss of my mother, not to old age, but to...fucking...a plane by fucking...piloted by terrorists. My gran-, my mother was killed by terrorists.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, my...

'''Matthew:''' And your...but, but your heavy burden is your dog died. I'm sorry, but boo, really, I've had dogs die, it sucks, but that's nothing... that's nothing...

'''Chris:''' Y'know, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well, I was very sad when she died. It was not a matter of age, it was pretty much, yeah, she was very sickly, there was nothing we could do, so I, I signed that form to give them permission to put her to sleep. I let her, I let her go, that was an emotional burden on me. And I have, I have been, my aunt Corrina died just a few months, just a few months, just last January, because of, because of heart cancer.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] Are you, are you...

'''Chris:''' It was very, it was very saddening, I was very...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sorry, are you messing with me? Are you trying to compare the loss of my mother, the loss of someone who took care of me for years, to a dog? Are you calling my mother a dog?

'''Chris:''' I am not calling your mother a dog.

'''Matthew:''' [''[[stress sigh]] of his own''] I had to dig my mother out of the rubble of the Twin Towers. I mean, and you had to lift a doghouse.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'll tell you, that doghouse was heavier than any tombstone. And that doghouse pretty much was the tombstone!

'''Matthew:''' Sounds like you're fucking with me now.

'''Chris:''' I am not! I am being very HONEST with you sir! I'm telling you the honest truth from my, from my sound mind and my sound heart.

'''Matthew:''' I'm starting to, I'm starting to really kinda doubt this whole honesty thing you keep talking about. How do you think, how do you think Kacey would feel if I told her about this? What do you think, how do you think she would feel about you comparing this whole lifting a 30-, 50-pound doghouse to maybe a 100-, 200-pound tombstone? That doghouse was probably, what, made of wood? This is solid rock!

'''Chris:''' No, it was, it was, no, I mean, yeah, this is, it was wood ''and'' plastic, that thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds!

'''Matthew:''' Plastic's pretty light, you know. I'm sorry, this is, this isn't even close to the same.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' And that's just, that's just that...you know, if you had told this to Kacey, she would probably be, she would be so angry. You're just totally grasping at [[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|straws]] at this point.

'''Chris:''' [''mutters under his breath''] Yeah, well, also I've been to a whole bunch of this, also, to go off talk, off-topic a bit, or going back to an old topic, that I have been DECEIVED BY THE TROLLS! A bunch of them pretending to be women who I thought were honest over the Internet when I was talking to them for the first time for a while!

'''Matthew:''' WHO GIVES A SHIT about the Internet?

'''Chris:''' And some, and some of them, and some of them were actually, and some of them were actually two honest women...

'''Matthew:''' BE A MAN...

'''Chris:''' And those [[PandaHalo|two]] [[Ivy|women]] died! I was very, I was very heartbroken by that! And yet I was even more heartbroken when I found out that...

'''Matthew:''' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE!

'''Chris:''' I, I...I may not admit, okay, well, yes...

'''Matthew:''' Wait, wait, didn't you say, fake women? Did you say that these women were fake? So wait, these women were probably fake...fake women died?

'''Chris:''' [''in a state of great consternation''] I didn't, I didn't...no! I'm talking about, no, two of them, a coup-, a few of them were real women.

'''Matthew:''' And how many of these women have you gone through?

'''Chris:''' I have not been able to go to them. But one, there was this [[Julie|one time]] where I actually thought it was a woman, and I actually drove a whole, a whole, a whole day's worth back and forth, almost 24 hours, from my house to Cleveland, Ohio, where it turned out that was, that was, that was a bad lead. I drove a whole, I drove a whole, almost 20, I drove from five in the morning to 12 o'clock, to about, just after about, after midnight. To find out that the destination was a bad one, and that was, that was an imposterous troll.

'''Matthew:''' So you went to go to...Ohio, for a fake woman, but my Kacey just told me that you won't go and visit her, a real woman?

'''Chris:''' I, I, I, I... [''angry, incoherent stammering'']

'''Matthew:''' I am looking at Kacey right ''now''.

'''Chris:''' But you're in...

'''Matthew:''' You wouldn't even go to D.C., that's like two hours away. And you've met her before, for God's sake?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I mean, I was more naïve, I was more naïve back then, but I am very less naïve now. I have been very less naïve for about, for about a year now.

'''Matthew:''' I am not convinced.

'''Chris:''' [''snapping''] OH COME ON. YOU SHOULD BE CONVINCED!

===The maggot manchild and shit starts to hit the fan===
'''Matthew:''' [''Laughing with frustration''] "Oh come on"? You know who, you know who you're talking to, son? What the fuck is this? Now you're just talking back to me like a little kid. Don't yell at me, you maggot! Piece of shit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, yeah, you, you're obviously talking to me like, as if I was a child. And I am not a child.

'''Matthew:''' Because you are a child, you're acting like a child.

'''Chris:''' I am not a child, I am a MAN. [[I AM STRONG|I am a STRONG MAN]]. I have been through a whole bunch of emotional and physical traumas in my life!

'''Matthew:''' You haven't proven a thing to me, you've shown me nothing that could even possibly suggest that you are a man.

'''Chris:''' Well, sometimes my memory fails me!

'''Matthew:''' You're just sitting around in your parents' house, crying about your little dog, playing video games, whining about women on the Internet. Some lazy little maggot...

'''Chris:''' [''Full-blown tard rage erupts''] I AM NOT, I AM NOT LAZY!

'''Matthew:''' You're living with your parents and you don't have a job, how is that not lazy?!

'''Chris:''' Well, maybe I, maybe I don't have a job, but I do work around the house! I lift a whole bunch of...

'''Matthew:''' Chores! I do those every day, and I'm retired!

'''Chris:''' They're not just chores! They're not just chores.

'''Matthew:''' Yes-they-are! EVERYONE works around the house.

'''Chris:''' Maybe everyone works around the house, but they don't, they differ from burden to burden to... [''stress sigh''] ...heavy weights! I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I've seen, you know, I was looking around that YouTube, I saw [[Tour of Chris's House|a video of your house]]. It's a FUCKING MESS! You call that working around the house? Are you trying to be, and you're trying to be some kind of house-husband or something?

'''Chris:''' Well, most of that mess belongs to my mother and I can't really, I can't really organize it without her being able to help me, without her being able to point out where to put everything!

'''Matthew:''' Oh, it's your mom's fault. That's real mature.

'''Chris:''' She's a, well, okay, yeah, I admit, she's a bit of a pack rat. And since she retired from secretarial work, she's been more lazy, I'll admit that.

'''Matthew:''' But your room is a mess, too. What do you have to say about that? I mean, this is nothing. At this rate...

'''Chris:''' [''On the edge of tears''] It may be nothing, it may be, it may be nothing...

'''Matthew:''' You're a pack rat too.

'''Chris:''' I am not a, I am not that bad of a pack rat. I mean, I even brought, I even brought a bunch, I even brought practically all that stuff into the house. And I had to bring in a couch and I had to bring in the hutch, among other pieces of furniture, among the smaller pieces of stuff, smaller bunches of junk that my mom got! That's a lot, that's a lot of heavy lifting. And it was very hard.

'''Matthew:''' Who doesn't have to push furniture? All this stuff you're talking about, these heavy burdens sound like stuff everybody has to do at least at some point. This is nothing, this is just regular, everyday housework. This isn't real work. This is chores.

'''Chris:''' I...oh! And you don't think...!

'''Matthew:''' This is kids' stuff.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and you don't think carrying your soldier friend on your back was a heavy burden? That was a heavy burden?

'''Matthew:''' What...what the fu...are you mocking me?!

'''Chris:''' I am not mocking you!

'''Matthew:''' Is this...are you comparing...

'''Chris:''' I'm just, I'm just pointing out, I'm just pointing out that what you did was a heavy burden under...

'''Matthew:''' I don't know even know what to say to this!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, that is, yeah, that is a heavy burden because you were fighting to save, you were fighting to save your friend's life...

===Kacey returns===
'''Matthew:''' Kacey, c'mon, come over here. You gotta listen to this guy. This is great.

'''Kacey:''' Oh, what's up, daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What is...I mean...this guy is just fucking with me...

'''Kacey:''' Daddy, you sound mad, what's wrong?

'''Matthew:''' This guy's just fucking with me, he's not even, he's not even respecting me at all. He's a disrespectful...

'''Kacey:''' What, he's disrespecting you? What is he doing?

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, he's just talking about all this faggot kiddie shit. How he has to move chairs and do, oh no, housework! And he's comparing that to when your grandma died.

'''Kacey:''' He's WHAT?

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. I mean, he's talking about all these "heavy burdens" he's had to face, you know, saying it's a heavy burden, kind of like...of course, you remember when we lost grandma...

'''Kacey:''' Oh my God, I know, I had to volunteer just to get my mind off it...

'''Matthew:''' This guy has nothing to offer you.

'''Chris:''' [''combative''] I have a lot to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' I have plenty to offer her!

'''Matthew:''' Like what?!

'''Kacey:''' Don't yell at my father like that! You need to respect him, he's a retired Marine!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I do respect your father, Kacey.

'''Kacey:''' Well, you need to be nice to him! What are you going to do if he doesn't like you?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I mean, I want, I was being nice to him, but then he started to insult me, he was talking down to me like as if I was a child, when I'm an adult.

'''Matthew:''' I already don't like...

'''Kacey:''' Chris! He's way older than you! He's your elder! To him, you are a child! I'm a child to him!

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I guess in compar-, I guess in comparison, yeah, that is true. But I just don't like being talked, I just feel, I just basically, just turns me off when I'm talked down to and such. I mean, I have to put up with my father talking down to me and such, and he starts more arguments than there are flies in the garbage dump!

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but my father doesn't get angry easily.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' You can't act like a child like that! He is your elder! You're trying to ask him PERMISSION.

'''Chris:''' Yeah...

'''Kacey:''' What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Well...yeah...

'''Kacey:''' Apologize!

'''Chris:''' Yeah... [''heavy sigh''] Yeah. [''more sighing''] I apologize, Matthew. I apologize for talking back to you. I just got, I got, I got carried away. Especially from feeling like I was being talked down to. Mm...I mean, surely, yeah, you can understand that, I'm sure your father talked down to you, you, even when you were about my age. And I do not mean to insult you or your father, I just felt like it was a fair compar-, I just felt like it was a good comparison there, but anyway. I apologize for yelling at you, and raising my voice.

'''Matthew:''' I don't even know how you think you can call me by my name right now.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe a goddamn word you just said. I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry, actually.

'''Chris:''' Well...believe it or not, it is the whole, honest truth, that I have been telling you this whole time.

'''Matthew:''' Honest. [''snort''] If that's the truth, I'm afraid to say you're pretty fucked. You're just using people from the Internet as scapegoats for your problems. And you were lying when you first met Kacey. That's what I've gotten about this. You...are not good enough for my daughter. Chris, on the other hand, has my blessing.

'''Chris:''' [''massive stress sigh'']
===Literature and health===
'''Matthew:''' And if the Internet is such a problem for you, I mean, just get rid of it. What do you have to do? Just call up whoever it is, AOL, whatever it is you use, just call 'em and say "I don't want the Internet anymore." That's all you have to do. You don't need it for anything. Go to a library!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a bunch...yeah, well, I have a bunch of ties on the Internet and for your information I do go to libraries. I read a lot of books.

'''Matthew:''' Really? What was the last book you read?

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Mockingbird}}The last book I read... was ''[[Wikipedia:To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]''.

'''Matthew:''' That's high-school shit.

'''Chris:''' You call this high-school, I call it adult, I call it...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey read that in high school, Kacey read that as a freshman in high school.

'''Chris:''' I call it adult drama.

'''Matthew:''' An adult drama.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was very dramatic, and I felt for the characters in that, in that story, just like I feel for every character, all the characters in the stor-, in the stories that I have read, throughout my whole life.

'''Matthew:''' So what exactly did you learn from this book?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I... have... learned... that I have to be able to cope and be patient with, with a, with everybody who makes, a whole lot of people that may appear to be impatient or that could be hard to put up with. Like George had to put up with Lenny throughout the story. I mean, I'd say that's...

'''Matthew:''' That's ''[[Wikipedia:Of Mice and Men|Of Mice and Men]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting my stories mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. ''To Kill a Mockingbird''. Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' Yeeeaaaaah... did you even read this book?

'''Chris:''' Yes I did! The dramatic story, the story about that girl who was living with her family throughout the Depression and there was that guy in the store who was nice enough to leave her gifts in the tree trunk. That was like, that was definitely a story of, like, definitely, you know, be kind to your neighbor and they'll, and they'll, and they'll be kind to you. That's still another kind of, another, it's another story where you have to learn to be patient...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like the American classic that I know. I'm sorry. This is... just sounds like a bunch of horseshit. Do you remember the court scene?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, the what?

'''Matthew:''' The court scene in the book? That was pretty big, it was a pretty major part of the book. Do you even remember who [[Wikipedia:Atticus Finch|Atticus Finch]] was? That was probably the pivotal moment of the book.

'''Chris:''' Atticus... hm... Atticus... hm, I do believe that was the lawyer in that story.

'''Matthew:''' Yesss... man, you call yourself smart? You aren't smart enough for Kacey. When did you read this?

'''Chris:''' I... I've read it, about a month ago.

'''Matthew:''' A month ago.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Matthew:''' You know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books like you probably stuff candy down your throat.

'''Chris:''' [''Rage button pushed''] Stuff... candy... don't... I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots!

'''Matthew:''' Wooooowww! [''laughs''] What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, I don't even know what the hell...

'''Chris:''' I eat and drink healthy.

'''Matthew:''' And you look like that. You don't even know what I just said, do you? You completely missed that I was, that little analogy back there.

'''Chris:''' No, no, I...

'''Matthew:''' Kacey says you eat [[McDonald's]]. You say you eat healthy, but you eat at McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' I have a, I have salads over at McDonald's. And I drink the lemonade over there.

'''Matthew:''' That lemonade is full of sugar. You know, [[Liquid|Chris]] is, Chris is fit, I've seen that man, he has rock-hard abs. That guy makes a Marine proud. And he can cook, he doesn't go to McDonald's because he doesn't need to.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can cook too! And sometimes I do cook!

'''Matthew:''' You know, he and Kacey like to go running together. Why don't you go running with Kacey, rather than sitting around eating fast food all day?

'''Chris:''' I do go out, I do go out for jogs, sir. I do go out jogging. And if Kacey was here I would be happy to go jogging with her. Or even running, I'd be happy to do that as well.

'''Matthew:''' You think you could do five miles like Kacey and Chris do? Five miles?

[[Image:208x228 Advice-CWC-I-JOG-FIVE-MILES-A-DAY.jpg|thumb|Yep!]]

'''Chris:''' Yep!

'''Matthew:''' That's a brisk jog.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I could do five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Someone who looks like you can run five miles? I'm sorry, that's bullshit.

'''Chris:''' You're...[''angry sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' You look like you couldn't even do five seconds running. In fact, I was watching, I was watching those push-ups, you got winded after... that was thirty seconds of push-ups and you were sweating like a pig.

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] Well, wouldn't you sweat?

'''Matthew:''' I don't...with that much...? Fuck, that's nothing.

'''Chris:''' WARRIORS, WARRIORS...

'''Matthew:''' I'm a Marine. Not after... a few push-ups like that? That's nothing. Okay, but... how much and how often do you jog? I sweat maybe... maybe after, I don't know, ten miles on a hot day.

'''Chris:''' I have been jogging for about fifteen minutes on a daily basis.

'''Matthew:''' Fifteen minutes. So you go...you go, what, a quarter of a mile and you call it quits? That's pussy shit. And that's just jogging. Kacey could run, Kacey runs for at least an hour.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's good.

'''Matthew:''' Five miles is like a two-hour jog, you know.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I have a, I have a whole bunch of potential, I can run five miles with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' I would love to see that. I mean, why don't you? You can't... you say you could. You're just saying you have potential. That doesn't sell me. You can't sell me with "potential." Why don't you run five miles, and maybe, maybe I'll think otherwise.

'''Chris:''' It would be hard to video, to video-record five mile running. But I can run five miles, with Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' You can?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can! And I will the first chance I get!

'''Matthew:''' But why with Kacey, though, why can't you just do it on your own? You have a camera, don't you? It wouldn't be so hard to just hold a camera and run, would it? That's easily, easily do-able.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Why don't you just figure out how to do that? You said you're good with computers. I don't know shit about computers and I can do that. I barely even know what a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] is.

'''Chris:''' You barely know what a Windows is?

'''Matthew:''' Don't...[''sputters'']... don't patronize me.

'''Chris:''' I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to understand what you just said, you say you don't understand Windows?

'''Matthew:''' What I'm trying to say is, I don't know shit about computers and I could figure out how to do that. I could figure out how to hold a camera and fuckin' run for five miles. That's...how could you not figure out how to do that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, think about this, do you think the batteries would be able to last five miles?

'''Matthew:''' Running? Shit. You're running, you're not jogging, it's not gonna take two hours.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, yeah, well... yeah, well, I can't...

'''Matthew:''' Besides, think of it as a time limit of some sort, you know? You gotta run fast enough so you can get all of it in before the batteries run out. That would take like... half an hour at most. Batteries last that long.

'''Chris:''' Alright, you want a half hour running? I'll be happy to do a half hour of running with my digital camera.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] Fine. Show me.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I will.

'''Matthew:''' Until then, until then, you are not good enough for Kacey. You are just a maggot.

'''Chris:''' Well. You may call me a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one.

'''Matthew:''' I'm gonna go talk to Kacey, I gotta tell her, you do not deserve Kacey. Kacey lifts more than you, how does that feel? [[Power|The strong man]] outdone by a woman.

'''Chris:''' Well I may not feel pleasant, if that was the case, then I could not say I did not try.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs'']

'''Chris:''' But I...

===Liquid Chris and minimum wage jobs===
'''Matthew:''' While you're at it, you don't, you don't try, if you had tried you would have gotten out of your house, you would have gotten a job, you would have... you would be like [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Yeah, well, I am much stronger and I am much better than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]].

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' Oh, yes I am!

'''Matthew:''' But why don't you have, you don't have a job! You're not stronger than [[Liquid Chris|Chris]], you're not smarter than Chris.

'''Chris:''' I am stronger and I am smarter than Chris!

'''Matthew:''' You're not living on your own. How can you even say that? And he's younger than you!

'''Chris:''' I say that because it's true.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' You do not think so...you may not think so...

'''Matthew:''' I was so happy, when Kacey said she was going to marry [[Liquid Chris|Chris]]. But then, I don't know, he vanished or something, I don't know what happened...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that would be the point where he made his video on [[YouTube]] where he pretended he was being kidnapped and then that's where he hid away for a number of, for a few months.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, and that devastated her. You don't know how much she missed him.

'''Chris:''' I do, I do, because she has shared that with me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I would much rather believe him...

'''Chris:''' She has shared that with me and I have comforted the her. I have emotionally supported her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think she... she wasn't nearly that, I don't think she was nearly as happy as when the police finally called her about that. I think you're just trying to get, I think you're just trying to get my little Kacey for a booty call.

'''Chris:''' Believe me sir, it would not just be for a booty call, it would be for a strong relationship with all the loyalty and trust and honesty that a woman can ever want. [''shifts to a momentous tone, half under his breath''] EVER.

 '''Matthew:''' But you can't even move out. She needs a man, a man who can support himself and keep a job. You got fired from [[Wendy's]], most people quit because it sucks. You got FIRED. You weren't GOOD ENOUGH for Wendy's. What are you gonna do, what are you gonna do if she gets pregnant and she can't work?

'''Chris:''' If she gets pregnant and can't work, then I would be working. I would be working VERY HARD AND HEAVILY.

'''Matthew:''' What kind of job?

'''Chris:''' If I have to I would be, get one of the heavyweights, that just moves the boxes around the, stock the shelves at a grocery store. At the least. If not better.

'''Matthew:''' That makes minimum wage at best. That's not a real job. You know how much minimum wage is?

'''Chris:''' At the current rate, it's about $8 an hour.

'''Matthew:''' That's not good enough! Get a good job! You can't live off that! Especially after taxes.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I can get a good job, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' If you want to do lifting, you go work in a warehouse or something. And last I checked, minimum wage was $7.25.

'''Chris:''' [''takes a contemptuous tone''] Huh! You must have checked, no offense, but you must have checked like five years ago. [''In fact, [[Wikipedia:List of U.S. minimum wages|Matt is correct]].'']

'''Matthew:''' And how would you know? You don't have a job!

'''Chris:''' Because it was over five years ago, I was working for that minimum wage, and that was $7.50.

'''Matthew:''' That wasn't minimum wage.

'''Chris:''' Yes it was. And that was back at Wa-Wendy's!

'''Matthew:''' You know you can get paid more at jobs than minimum wage? I just looked it up right now, it says $7.25.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Maybe that's average minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't lie to me. Look...

'''Chris:''' I am not lying to you.

'''Matthew:''' Kacey, come on, Kacey, come over here, listen to this horseshit, ''listen to this horseshit''.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' What's wrong now, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' What's this he's talking about... minimum wage is $7.25, right?

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. It went up in July, I remember because it was around my birthday.

'''Matthew:''' This guy's lying again. Why is it...I'm looking right here on this webpage, that's exactly what it says.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah, it happened on July 24, that was like...

'''Matthew:''' Why does this guy keep lying to me? How do I know that anything he says is true?

'''Chris:''' I stand corrected! I stand corrected. On current minimum wage.

'''Matthew:''' Don't argue with me.

'''Chris:''' Alright.
===Respect and listening skills===
'''Kacey:''' Is he being disrespectful again, Daddy?

'''Matthew:''' He's always been... he's been disrespectful this whole time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] I have not been lying!

'''Matthew:''' When Kacey says it, when Kacey says it you believe it now.

'''Kacey:''' I just don't understand.

'''Matthew:''' I don't understand either.

'''Chris:''' I can't say I'm in full understanding either.

'''Kacey:''' That doesn't even make sense. Like, I shouldn't have to pick up the other line and have to hear this. I mean, what are you doing, are you trying to sabotage this?

'''Chris:''' No. Just, throughout, throughout this whole conversation I have been telling the [[True and honest|honest truth]], from memory. As far as I know.

'''Kacey:''' Okay, but this doesn't make sense. Like, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] charmed my dad within five minutes. Why are you still fighting with him? Why are you lying to my father?

'''Chris:''' I have not been lying to your father. I have been telling him the truth throughout my best and honest knowledge. From my heart and from my head.

'''Kacey:''' What are you wanting me to think, that you're dumb or something?

'''Chris:''' I...wh...no. [''pause''] I, I...[''drowned out by Kacey'']

'''Kacey:''' Well, then what's going on?! Why does my dad look so upset? I haven't seem him this upset in a long time.

'''Chris:''' Well, I can't read, I cannot read his mind, so...

'''Kacey:''' Well, no, no-one expects you to, but you could be respectful to him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, um, I mean, yeah, I was doing my best to be respectful. But then...and then he started, he started...

'''Kacey:''' My Dad is not going to lie to me, and obviously whenever I get on the phone you're calm and everything, so is something going on when I'm not on the phone? Like are you being two-faced?

'''Chris:''' No, I am not being two-faced. I have been one-f-, I have been the one-faced this whole conversation. I swear, hand to [[God]].

'''Kacey:''' You shouldn't do that, we don't swear to God, and my dad wouldn't lie to me.

'''Matthew:''' One-faced side of bullshit.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, he's been contradicting me, and talking to me in a negative way...

'''Kacey:''' Okay, you guys, I'm going to go. Talk nice.

'''Chris:''' I have been, I have been, I was talking nice. And then he started contradicting me with those words, like, yeah, and, uh, hm, and put, and putting me down, like even call, even call, even calling me a pussy, or, among other things. And then that, and then that just...grinded my gears.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Kacey is gone. She's not listening right now. She didn't hear anything you just said.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Portal Turret:''' Target lost.

'''Matthew:''' Stop [[sigh]]ing so much.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm speechless at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Didn't you just hear, she... hear her say she was getting off?

'''Chris:''' Uhh...hear her say she was getting off?

'''Matthew:''' Do you pay attention to anything? Ever? To the words that I am saying?

'''Chris:''' I, I'm, I do pay attention. But I, I did not hear "I'm getting off."

'''Matthew:''' This is... this, do you even listen to her at all? How can you be a good boyfriend? You don't listen to anything.

'''Chris:''' I, I do, I do listen! And I, and ob-, obviously, she must have said it in a quiet tone, because I did not hear it. [''Actually, Chris was talking over her at the time, but never mind.'']

'''Matthew:''' But this is... she was pretty upset. She wasn't that quiet.

'''Chris:''' W... well, I'm sorry she's upset.

'''Matthew:''' And now, what I'm saying right now, is that before you can say you are better than Chris, you need to get a job, you need to move out from your parents, you need to be independent. You need to show me that you're a man. And you... you also have to have the ability to not lie to me. I'm getting all tongue-tied, because...just...you don't know how frustrating this is. I mean, I haven't done that in years.

'''Chris:''' Yes, I agree with you, this is frustrating.

'''Matthew:''' And you are lucky her mother isn't here.

'''Chris:''' And I pro-, and I send... I promise you. I have not been lying.

'''Matthew:''' How is this, how is this frustrating to you? You sound like you just have the easiest life in the world.

'''Chris:''' Because, because, because, because you're, because you're frustrated, and your frustration is reflecting onto me and it's making me feel frustrated. It's making me feel frustrated.

===Chris's pathetic life and diseased ticker===
'''Matthew:''' You sit around...what are you going to do after this? You're gonna go home, you're gonna go play [[video games]] again or something?

'''Chris:''' No...

'''Matthew:''' Nobody can get you to do anything. Play your [[Pokemon|Pokeymans]], watch [[TV]]. Sleep. Eat [[McDonald's]]. That's, that's your life.

'''Chris:''' That is not my life.

'''Matthew:''' Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's a lot, it's a lot more than that. I do a lot more than...

'''Matthew:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot, you do chores, too.

'''Chris:''' See, this, you know, this is why I was talking to Kacey about...

'''Matthew:''' You talk and you get angry at people on the Internet who you've never seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, see, right now you're just...you're just saying some, saying some of the things that sit aside from the good for me, honest, from, aside from the good things, yeah, everything I've said, I have been, I have been very honest about, and you're just taking the bad pieces that can, you're just taking some of that honesty and you're just reflecting it onto me and, you're just making it sound bad. Like it's a bad thing. And that makes me feel bad.

'''Matthew:''' It IS a bad thing. What good qualities do you have that aren't LIES? You started this whole relationship on a lie. My daughter doesn't deserve that. And now you're blaming me for all this that's going on.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna, could you just, look, okay, well, you did not let me say that...

'''Matthew:''' You just met me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, I'm talking to you over the phone, that is [''dissolves into gibberish momentarily'']...

'''Matthew:''' You don't...it just sounds like you don't want to admit any of your faults. You just...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am happy to admit my faults.

'''Matthew:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, for one, sometimes, I don't think things through and I make, end up in the decision I thought was good at first may end up being the bad decision.

'''Matthew:''' O... kay?

'''Chris:''' But yeah, I have been improving on that and thinking things through fully. Making sure that...

'''Matthew:''' Everyone does that, everyone, you know, makes a mistake every now and then. Okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Matthew:''' Let's start with something easy. Let's tell me...tell me...how about you admit that you're, well, okay, I'll just say it. [[Obesity|FAT]]. And lazy.

'''Chris:''' {{anchor|Buddha belly}}Okay, well, I admit I do have a Buddha belly, but I am not lazy, I do get out and about, I exercise, I jog and work out, and I eat healthy.

'''Matthew:''' Doesn't show at all. How often do you watch TV? And you said you jog for fifteen minutes. That's... that's not gonna burn calories.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I'm working up to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' Thirty minutes. And compared to...how does this compare to how much TV you watch?

'''Chris:''' For your information, I watch only about four hours of television.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours of television.

'''Chris:''' In a day.

'''Matthew:''' A day. That... I don't think that's true. That just doesn't sound, you kinda paused right there? You sound like you actually had to think about it for a second. I don't think that's true.

'''Chris:''' Well, when I had to count it up, I did have to think about it. But yes, it is true, I watch four hours of television in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Four hours, that's still quite a bit, hasn't Kacey told you anything about how important it is to take care of yourself?

'''Chris:''' Yes, we have, we have talked about that. And I have listened to her about that, and I have been taking the appropriate steps and abiding with her words in mind and heeding her advice as such.

'''Matthew:''' Really...because she's still pretty worried about you, she says. She think something's gonna happen to you, you know. She thinks it's not looking good. And didn't she, she told me you were on [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]]?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, I know about that stuff. That's something people my age take. I don't take it myself, but I know people who do.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, for your information, my doctor got me off, took me off Lipitor a couple of months ago.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' I still don't think you...you still don't sound like you're terribly healthy. Okay, watching TV aside, and you play video games, how long do you do that a day, huh? I mean, with how much you sit around, your metabolism must not be so hot.

'''Chris:''' How long... do I sit around? I would not say that I sit around that much. I would say...

'''Matthew:''' And play... okay, how much do you play video games?

'''Chris:''' About two hours in a day.

'''Matthew:''' Two hours a day.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so that's at least six hours you spend sitting around doing absolutely nothing in your room. That's a quarter of a day. In six hours you could have worked a part-time job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I, but, the time I do not spend in front of the television is the time I spend exercising. That's about half of the day.

'''Matthew:''' You do not spend half of a day exercising. If you spent half a day exercising, you would have at least lost that little [[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha belly]] and those man-tits of yours.

'''Chris:''' Okay, now I'm feeling insulted with those, with what you just said there.

'''Matthew:''' And you just told me fifteen minutes, so you're lying again.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, maybe, yeah, well, fifteen minutes jogging, upon the pacing of the spacing of the jogging.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so you don't even run fifteen minutes altogether, at one time?

'''Chris:''' It's fifteen, they're, fifteen minutes, they're fifteen-minute intervals, like I do fifteen minutes in one hour, then the next hour I do another fifteen minutes of jogging.

'''Matthew:''' But that doesn't help you at all. All that...that means there's 45 minutes of you doing nothing every hour. By then your heart rate has gone down, the exercise is gonna do nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' My heart rate has been, has been good.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I can guarantee that.

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know what you're talking about?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do, I am talking...

'''Matthew:''' Do you even know how to check your heart rate?

'''Chris:''' Yes I do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, how?

'''Chris:''' I put my fingers on my pulse, count the number of beats through ten seconds, and then I multiply by six. That's, that's...

'''Matthew:''' Where do you check for your pulse?

'''Chris:''' Put two fingers on my wrist or on my neck. Or put it on my chest where my heart is.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what's a good heart rate for you?

'''Chris:''' About seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Seventy-two beats per minute.

'''Chris:''' To about a hundred beats per minute.

'''Matthew:''' Uh-huh. So what's your heart rate right now?

'''Chris:''' Alright... [''long silence''] Alright, let me find that...yeah. It's approximately, it is approximately eighty-four right now.

'''Matthew:''' Eighty-four from just sitting around?

'''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I've been listening. Chris, that's a serious medical condition. What are you talking about? Normally your heart doesn't beat that fast unless you've done exercise.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Kacey:''' That's like [[Wikipedia:arrhythmia|arrhythmia]] or [[Wikipedia:tachycardia|tachycardia]]. What are you doing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, right, you know, well, I did get a little bit of [[stress]] from some of the conversation.

'''Kacey:''' Stress doesn't do that. That's like a serious medical condition. And I heard you talk to my dad, you don't listen to anything I say when I worry about you. You still go to [[McDonald's]], and I told you those salads aren't healthy. I bet you haven't even lost one pound. Don't you care that I think you're gonna die? [''Chris stammers briefly in response''] That you're probably going to lose motion in your body if you don't exercise enough? This is important to me!

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Kacey:''' What're you going to do? You're gonna die before you're thirty.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hm. [''pause, then sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' Hmph.

'''Kacey:''' If anything, that means you have way too much caffeine in your system. If you have something that high. That's either, you can get that from smoking, from too much fat, from too much caffeine...

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah.

'''Kacey:''' [''Her voice breaks, on the verge of crying.''] It's like you don't even care! Dad was right, you are being disrespectful!

'''Chris:''' [''Attempting to sound empathetic''] Kacey, I do care. [''sigh''] Even though, even though it may not, even though it may shot 'n I've shot, I do care. Believe me.

'''Kacey:''' Yeah. Because it's that hard for you to stop going to McDonald's. But you've still been going. Right?

'''Chris:''' I have been going less.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like I didn't... less is not none! Fast food is bad! Period at the end!

'''Chris:''' [''On the defensive''] Yeah, but that was like once a week! Once in a week!

'''Kacey:''' Once a week is bad! Don't eat any! None!

'''Chris:''' Alright, I won't go there anymore. I won't go [[McDonald's]] anymore.

'''Kacey:''' Or any fast food!

'''Chris:''' Alright. I will not go to any fast food, I...

'''Kacey:''' Whatever. It's not like you haven't lied to me before. You're just probably lying to me now. Dad, I can't deal with this anymore...

'''Chris:''' I'M NOT LYING TO YOU! I promise you! I promise you! I promise you, Kacey. I promise you.

'''Matthew:''' She's gone again.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

===Chris blows it, but he's an American!===
'''Matthew:''' She was pretty, ah... Let's say you just blew it, man. She was— She was crying right there. You just fuckin' blew it. Big-time.

'''Chris:''' [''deep sigh'']

'''Matthew:''' I just heard the door slam. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes and calls Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmph. Well...

'''Matthew:''' What do you have to say for yourself? [''Long silence ensues'']

'''Chris:''' Well, all I can say is...that's your opinion, and you have every right to your own opinion.

'''Matthew:''' It's not my opinion. It just happened. What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about facts.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you're talking about— Yes, you are talking about facts, but you have expressed a whole bunch of your own opinions about what you've heard from me the whole conversation.

'''Matthew:''' And that's all you have to say about the fact that you just upset my daughter? What are you...

'''Chris:''' That's my response— That's my response about you, but as for Kacey, you know, I just feel— I just feel very sad for her.

'''Matthew:''' I don't care what you have to say about me. This is about— You should care about Kacey, not me! You have to do something big.

'''Chris:''' I care about Kacey. I really, truly do.

'''Matthew:''' Okay. But if you want my opinion right now, I think you should stay away from my daughter. Unless you really, ''really'' turn around your life. You're not even close to Chris right now. You have to do something big to get her back. You have to get a job, at the very least. Lose, I dunno, fifty pounds. Move out. Then I might consider you, ''maybe''.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' And you have to keep your promises, because she says you never do.

'''Chris:''' I do keep my promises.

'''Matthew:''' And I think she should be with her [[Liquid Chris|real fiancé]] right now. [''Long silence''] I mean, he treats her like a princess. You treat her like...a set of tits and ass.

'''Chris:''' No, I treat her like a princess as well. I treat her, more importantly...as a friend...a true friend, a good friend...

'''Matthew:''' That doesn't sound like it at all.

'''Chris:''' You don't know. I mean...

'''Matthew:''' I do know, because she talks to me.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well... Points of view.

'''Matthew:''' I can't even stand your voice. So whiny, all this sighing, it's like a baby. You'll never be as good as Chris at this rate.

'''Chris:''' I am a lot better than Chris. [[Autism|Belieeeeeeeeve me.]]

'''Matthew:''' You're not even a functioning human. You're leeching off my government.

'''Chris:''' I have a functioning image...

'''Matthew:''' I met Chris in real life, he's an upstanding young man. How are you better than this?

'''Chris:''' I...am an [[United_States_of_America|''American'']]! I am proud to be an American and [[I_AM_STRONG|I am ''strong'']]. I am an individual...

[''Portal'' can again be heard faintly in the background]

'''Matthew:''' Don't tell— Don't tell me you're an American.

[''Portal'' can again be heard]

'''Chris:''' I was born in America, I was raised in America my whole life, I never left the United States of America.

'''Matthew:''' You can't tell me you're patriotic... If you were patriotic, you wouldn't even have thought about making that video, that [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]]. I still can't believe why you made that. It doesn't matter. You don't...do that! You're not acting like a patriot, you're acting more like a terrorist.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry I gave off that impression. At least I— At least I was man enough to admit I was wrong and I am. I did my best to undo the mistake by deleting my video and making the apology.

'''Matthew:''' You know, Chris and Kacey are Americans, too. And "sorry" doesn't undo the fact that you made that video.

===Chris's love and memory===
'''Chris:''' It may not, but at least I admitted I was wrong. And it takes a man to admit when he is wrong.

'''Matthew:''' And you still made it. You... you're not a man. Stop trying to call yourself a man. I mean, it takes a real man to change, and you haven't.

'''Chris:''' I do change my habits. I have been changing my habits. And I have been better from the habits I have changed.

'''Matthew:''' That's a lie. You haven't done shit.

'''Chris:''' I...I have done a lot more than you can, than you are thinking right now. Or that you could ever think at this moment.

'''Matthew:''' You said you stopped at a McDonald's, and you didn't... that's such a simple little thing, and you still lied about it. You can't stop eating fast food. What makes you think you can turn around and get a job and stop leeching off the government? And stop lying to Kacey?

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] Because... I am me, I have faith in me, and I am strong within myself.

'''Matthew:''' I bet you don't even love Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey!

'''Matthew:''' I bet if Kacey left you right now, right this very moment, you would...[[CWC is Sad|you'd probably cry]], for maybe just a couple seconds, then you'd go out and find another girl on the Internet.

'''Chris:''' [[The Wallflower|No!]]

'''Matthew:''' Wouldn't you? And even if you do love Kacey, you don't love Kacey nearly as much as Chris loves Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I do love Kacey, truly and deeply. And I care about her, about that much, probably more.

'''Matthew:''' And so does Chris, and he can prove it, so why don't you? You can't even stop eating McDonald's for her.

'''Chris:''' [''pauses''] I can so prove it, and I will.

'''Matthew:''' God. You know, he knows her favorite color, and her favorite flower. I'm sure you don't.

'''Chris:''' Her favorite color is "tarquoise".

'''Matthew:''' Turquoise? That's... that's wrong.

'''Chris:''' It's a blue-green shade. ''[Chris is correct here, at least. On his [http://pastebin.com/8FxWDZq6 creepy date] with Kacey, she said her favorite color was [[Wikipedia:Teal (color)|teal]].]''

'''Matthew:''' Okay, favorite flower.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] I cannot say that I, I cannot say that I remember her favorite flower at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' Aha. Really.

'''Chris:''' It could have been maybe because she did not mention her favorite flower yet. But she did tell me her favorite color. It was a shade, it was a blue-green shade. So turquoise is ''close''.

'''Matthew:''' Can you remember anything? Okay, I bet you don't even remember some of the stuff I just said today. You probably don't even remember who in my family dies in 9/11, do you? I just said that, what, half an hour ago?

'''Chris:''' You, you said that your daughter, that your daughter was giving blood in New York, right by the 9/11 site.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, but who DIED, who of my family died in 9/11?

'''Chris:''' The grandma.

'''Matthew:''' My grandma?

'''Chris:''' Her grandmother.

'''Matthew:''' Who is?

'''Chris:''' You did not mention her name.

'''Matthew:''' No... [''exasperated sigh''] ... no, okay, her grandmother, who is...?

'''Chris:''' Your mother.

'''Matthew:''' How long did that just take you? Good boy! God, this is just like talking to a preschooler.

===Matthew crosses the line and Chris's reaction time===
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, talking to a what?

'''Matthew:''' A preschooler. God. This is... man. You can't have Kacey, with this kind of, this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's so... [[naïve]].

'''Chris:''' [''angry intake of breath''] You just crossed a line. You just crossed a line. By saying the word "naïve." That is like the worst insult to me...

'''Matthew:''' What line?

'''Chris:''' A line. You crossed the line. You've just... you just really ticked me off right there when you said that.

'''Matthew:''' What're you gonna do about it?

'''Chris:''' Nothing at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' "Nothing at the moment?"

'''Chris:''' Because I can't really do anything, I'm not right there in front of you, now, am I? I'm talking to you over the phone. The only thing I could do right now is let you know that you just crossed a line. By saying that word.

'''Matthew:''' Are you... wait, wait, wait a minute, are you trying to threaten me? You trying to threaten an ex-Marine?

'''Chris:''' No, I... no, I am not threatening you, I am not threatening you. I am in no position to threaten an ex-Marine. And I understand that, and I respect you as such.

'''Matthew:''' Okay, so what are you saying? I could whoop your naïve little ass with my pinky if I wanted to. Kacey could whoop your ass! I'm surprised she hasn't already.

'''Chris:''' Well. I would be able to defend myself.

'''Matthew:''' So you would hit Kacey?

'''Chris:''' No, I would not hit Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Have you ever defended yourself?

'''Chris:''' I have defended myself.

'''Matthew:''' [''exhales in disbelief''] I'm sure that was something to see. Have you... I mean, I'm sure, I can see what would just happen. She'd probably try to throw a punch and you'd just bounce her off with your Buddha belly. Or so you call it.

'''Chris:''' I would either step to one side or block it with an arm!

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs''] That little limp-wristed twig of yours? You're pretty big, but you've got some pretty scrawny arms. And you're a pretty big target, she'd be...pretty hard to miss you. I've seen her punches.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think you'd be able to react fast enough.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you have not seen how I can, how fast I can react.

'''Matthew:''' You can't even react fast enough to what I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Because I'd like to spellcheck, and make sure I'm not making any mistakes. Make sure that my mind and my mouth are in sync.

'''Matthew:''' Making... mistakes...?

'''Chris:''' My mouth does not go faster than my mind.

'''Matthew:''' What are you even...?

'''Chris:''' That's another, that is another one of my flaws, I am willing to admit. Sometimes my mouth goes faster than my brain.

'''Matthew:''' Well, I bet that's not the only thing that goes faster than your brain. Are you trying to say you're some kind of computer or something? But this is, you're getting completely off the point. So tell me why, exactly, you aren't naïve? Why is this crossing the line so much?

'''Chris:''' Because it's insulting my intelligence.

'''Matthew:''' What line did I cross exactly?

'''Chris:''' And I do not appreciate that. You made me feel... [[Chris and anger|anger]].

'''Matthew:''' Because you haven't proven your intelligence to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, just like a computer, my brain is random. It picks up memories at random. I cannot simply access them sometimes, even though most of the time I can. But sometimes I can't, and they later come back to me at random.

'''Matthew:''' Okay... Here's how intelligent you really are, and that's because being naïve has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence.

'''Chris:''' Look it up in the dictionary.

'''Matthew:''' I have looked it up in the dictionary. It has nothing to do with intelli... what are you talking about? What dictionary are you looking in?

'''Chris:''' Webster's.

'''Matthew:''' Webster's. You know, I'm sure, if you think naïve has to do with... I'm sure your "[[autism]]" is just some sort of blanket term for "retarded" for you. Isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments. But I am certainly not ''totally'' retarded.

'''Matthew:''' No. I'm looking at my dictionary, you know what "naïve" means? It means "inexperienced." Not "unintelligent." I shouldn't be calling you naïve, I should just be calling you a dumbass. But you are naïve as well.

===Experience and respect===
'''Chris:''' I've got a lot more experience than you could imagine.

'''Matthew:''' [''chuckles'']

'''Chris:''' I have had twenty-seven years of experience.

'''Matthew:''' With what? Eating [[McDonald's]] and watching [[TV]]? Son, [[Liquid Chris|Chris]] is younger than you, and he has had far more experiences than you have. And I've had fifty-two years of experience.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, how about being pinned down by three teachers, a guidance counselor, and an elementary school... prinstapull... and having your screams and cries recorded on audiotape like a torture chamber?

'''Matthew:''' The hell are you talking about?

'''Chris:''' And have, I was pretty much in that situation there in, back in the fourth grade. They were scared of, scared of...

'''Matthew:''' What did you do, some kind of temper tantrum?

'''Chris:''' No, they were scared of me. They did not understand autism.

'''Matthew:''' So, what, you just had some kind of retard panic attack and they didn't know what to do?

'''Chris:''' I, it was not a retard, no. It was not! They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such. I even ended up with a rash on my neck from that thing, among other things! And we had to find a school system, they wanted to put me in a mental institution! But that was not...

'''Matthew:''' Because you NEED HELP. That's probably where you belong! And you call the other, you call Chris crazy... this is ridiculous.

'''Chris:''' I do not belong in a mental... if I had gone to a mental institution, I would not have graduated high school or gotten my certificate and degree in [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. I've moved up from what you would consider a retarded state of mind.

'''Matthew:''' I know retards with college degrees. They probably felt sorry for you. They probably just kinda let you through, that's probably what happened.

'''Chris:''' [''angry stress sigh, or perhaps spluttering with rage'']

'''Matthew:''' You know schools do that. And those other, I call them retards, but really, they're pretty good people. They actually did something with their degrees, believe it or not. People with Down's syndrome have done more than you. And that degree has done nothing for you.

'''Chris:''' It has done a lot, it has done a lot for me. It's given me the whole bunch of computer experience and potential that I have. And I will get an office job, and I will move out of this house, and I will run five miles!

'''Matthew:''' But you haven't done any of that. If you're gonna say it, then do it.

'''Chris:''' I would not be saying it if I was not going to do it. That is a promise.

'''Matthew:''' You better do it before Kacey runs back to a real man.

'''Chris:''' Okay then.

'''Matthew:''' Because I'm thinking that's going to happen pretty soon here. 27 years and you haven't changed.

'''Chris:''' Well, she did, she and I did not meet twenty-seven years ago, she and I met a few months ago.

'''Matthew:''' And you... and you haven't, she wasn't alive twenty-seven years ago. That doesn't even make any sense.

'''Chris:''' Well, what you said there a moment ago equally did not make much sense either. That was like you were implying, like as if she actually knew me my whole twenty-seven years.

'''Matthew:''' This is insulting to my intelligence, talking to you. You've shown me nothing but disrespect.

'''Chris:''' I have, I have...

'''Matthew:''' I'm sure you show Kacey hardly any more respect than you show me. I've been trying to open your eyes here.

'''Chris:''' I have shown you respect from the lot, for a while during the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' This is the kind of respect you show me, I would hate to see the kind of respect you show Kacey.

'''Chris:''' I show Kacey a lot of respect.

'''Matthew:''' You probably don't even respect her as a person...

'''Chris:''' I do res...I do respect her as a person!

===Chris is creepy and bad at dating===
'''Matthew:''' You know, her sister said you kept trying to touch her when you met her.

'''Chris:''' Because I was nervous at the time!

'''Matthew:''' You were NERVOUS? What the hell kind of response is that? You're nervous, so you try to touch, so you try to touch a girl? What the hell? That's...that's...that's just sick! That's my daughter, you're trying to touch a girl, you're trying to touch my daughter because you're nervous? Most people try to avoid touching people when they're nervous. Gah, I can't believe I just heard that, I should come and kick your ass right now!

'''Chris:''' I only touched her shoulder! I thought it was a friend gesture!

'''Matthew:''' Her shoulder? You know, that didn't...I heard otherwise, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry too.

'''Matthew:''' Did you try to kiss her?

'''Chris:''' No!

'''Matthew:''' Bullshit. She told her sister about what you did. I know. Are you telling me that Kacey lied?

'''Chris:''' I am not saying that. I am not saying that.

'''Matthew:''' You trying to tell me that...I heard you did all kinds of other weird shit. You tried to sniff her or something?

'''Chris:''' She was sharing her perfumes with me.

'''Matthew:''' I don't think so.

'''Chris:''' She wanted my, she wanted my opinion on which perfume smelled better.

'''Matthew:''' She gave it to you, she said she gave it to you in the bottle first. You could have just opened the bottle and sniffed, you didn't have to sniff ''her'' to do it. That's a little creepy.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, she wanted the perfume, she wanted me to give an honest opinion about... on her.

'''Matthew:''' You did it in front of her and her friend. Have you ever done this before? Is this something you do when you meet girls?

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, could you, could you, ah, repeat that?

'''Matthew:''' Have you...have you ever done this before, to another girl?

'''Chris:''' Mm...yeah, well, we've been talking about the sniffing thing. I just want to make sure I understand what we're talking about here.

'''Matthew:''' Yes...anything, any of this creepy....shit. This touching, this kissing, that I've been told you try to do.

'''Chris:''' Well...first off I can definitely, honestly say that I have not kissed a girl yet...

'''Matthew:''' TRIED.

'''Chris:''' [[Emily#Kiss_fail|Or even tried to]].

'''Matthew:''' ''Really''?

'''Chris:''' Truly.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah, I don't believe, I don't believe a word of that. How many dates have you even been on?

'''Chris:''' In my lifetime? [[Hambeast|Only one]].

'''Matthew:''' Only one.

'''Chris:''' And this was a few months ago. Before I met Kacey.

'''Matthew:''' Before you met Kacey.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' And how did that turn out? How did she act towards you? What did she think of you?

'''Chris:''' It turned out that girl just wasn't all that into me.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, Kacey met you around August, that was a couple of months ago. So how far along was this?

'''Chris:''' That one date was back in, was last June.

'''Matthew:''' And now why exactly do you think she wasn't interested in you?

'''Chris:''' I don't know. I am not a mind-reader.

'''Matthew:''' So you can't think of a single reason why she might not have been interested in you?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I can honestly say that I cannot.

'''Matthew:''' You can't think of... I can think of a couple reasons right off the bat, why a girl would not have been into you. I don't even need to think about it. I mean... I mean, you can't even take them on a real date.

'''Chris:''' I took her on a real date. I took her to [[Wikipedia:Applebee's|Applebee's]], and I paid for her, for what she ate and what she drank there.

'''Matthew:''' You paid for her. And how much was that?

'''Chris:''' That was about $10.

'''Matthew:''' $10.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's... $10 for dinner. Are you sure you just didn't go to McDonald's again?

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] No, this was APPLEBEE'S. And Kim was there, she could the same, she could tell you the same thing.

'''Matthew:''' So where would you take Kacey? She's a pretty high-class girl. I'm sure you probably didn't even tip.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand the second half of that sentence, after you said "Kacey is a high-class girl."

'''Matthew:''' I said you probably didn't even tip. So where exactly are you going to take Kacey?

'''Chris:''' Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, I did tip.

'''Matthew:''' You even know how much you're supposed to tip.

'''Chris:''' About 15% or 20%.

'''Matthew:''' So how much did you tip, then, if you paid $10?

'''Chris:''' I tipped a buck fifty.

'''Matthew:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Matthew:''' That's still pretty cheap. You know, Kacey probably wouldn't like that if you tipped her that much. You know she's a waitress, right? Tips are pretty important to waitresses.

'''Chris:''' Yep, I understand that, tips are important. But still, 15% of $10 is a dollar fifty.

'''Matthew:''' That's true. Okay, so how much would you tip if you paid, say, $80 for dinner? Which is very possible, if you go to the kind of places Kacey likes to go.

'''Chris:''' Hm... let's see... that would be about $12.

'''Matthew:''' So you would pay just $12, you wouldn't go up to, like, you wouldn't even just toss them a twenty or something? Can you even do math?

'''Chris:''' Well, I cannot say that my family is of the high-class, hoity-toity, rich type, type of people. We are on average income.

'''Matthew:''' You could at least... they're not rich either. They still left a twenty.

'''Chris:''' Well... good for them.

'''Matthew:''' You're not even on an income. Income would be, like, you actually have a job. Man, Chris treats her so much better than you, shows her so much more respect.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I give you respect throughout the beginning of the conversation.

'''Matthew:''' You've given me nothing.

'''Chris:''' And then, and then, I started to feel insulted, from being, from being talked down about, about the things I've talked about. And that she told you, like about the McDonald's and the video games and that sort of thing, when I am so much better than that.

'''Matthew:''' And I have not seen any of this, because it probably doesn't exist.

'''Chris:''' It does exist.

'''Matthew:''' I mean, telling the truth isn't, it's not made of Pokeymans and all that.

'''Chris:''' It is not.

'''Matthew:''' And how are you better than all this? You're doing exactly, you're doing just that, talking about stupid fucking Pokeymans and shit. That's all I'm really getting about you. You do nothing but exactly what you've said.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, what can you...

'''Matthew:''' You need to be better. Not say you could be better.

'''Chris:''' At least I am HONEST when I say I could be better. At least I don't go around lying, pretending that I am an astronaut.

'''Matthew:''' [''laughs in disbelief''] You're not. You're not being honest.

'''Chris:''' No, I have been honest. Otherwise I would have said that I was an astronaut, but that would be lying. And I have not been lying this conversation.

'''Matthew:''' Would have been a pretty bad lie, too.

'''Chris:''' I know, but that's just an example off the top of my head at the moment.

'''Matthew:''' You don't even have the eyes to be an astronaut, I mean, c'mon. You don't have the weight. You especially don't have the weight.

===Endgame===
'''Chris:''' [''Long silence''] Well... I'll just say that this has been a most experiencing conversation, and I wish you a pleasant evening. Take care, Mr. Devoria, and stay safe. And please give my most fondest regards to Kacey as well. I love her and I care about her very much.

'''Matthew:''' Don't you hang up on me. When did I say that this conversation was over?

'''Chris:''' Well. You could say the insult, I'm getting tired of insults, I feel like I need to go, I feel like I need to go take a shower, and get ready to sleep. We are in the same time zone, it's ten after two right now.

'''Matthew:''' Actually, you know, that's fine, you can go whine and weasel your way out of this. You don't even deserve my daughter. What are you gonna do after this, what are you going to do tomorrow? Are you going to get up, sleep, you're going to get up and play video games again. That's... that's...

'''Chris:''' I am not, I will not be that way, I am going to get up and I'm going to be finding a job in the office. And I am going to be jogging for fifteen to thirty minutes.

'''Matthew:''' I don't believe...you know what Kacey's gonna do? She's gonna go to school, and she's gonna call Chris back. That's what she's gonna do.

'''Chris:''' [''Snide and superior''] Well, that's what you think she's gonna do. You do not control her.

'''Matthew:''' And you know why she's gonna do that? It's because she, because he's the one she wants. You know that song that she made for Chris? She made it for him. Not you. You know that song, that [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|"Whole New World,"]] from that Disney movie? She made that for him.

'''Chris:''' No, she told me she made that for me.

'''Matthew:''' Oh, no she didn't.

'''Chris:''' Oh yes she did!

'''Matthew:''' I think I know my daughter a little better than you do.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'll have to check with her on that.

'''Matthew:''' He even sang it for her! I mean, what really made you think it was for you?

'''Chris:''' Because she told me so herself!

'''Matthew:''' She told ME that she made it for him. Unless you're saying she's lying.

'''Chris:''' I'm not, I am not saying she's lying, because...

'''Matthew:''' And I saw that video. You didn't even know the lyrics to that song. You had to look it up. I could see the paper in your hand. And you had to sing over the words, you didn't even get the karaoke version or something. How could you possibly have known the lyrics?

'''Chris:''' I have watched the [[Wikipedia:Aladdin (film)|''Aladdin'']] movie a whole number of times. I would say greater than ten times. In my lifetime. At this point.

'''Matthew:''' And you know how I know that was made for him, and not you? Because that song was their song. They know it by HEART. And that has always been their song.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Matthew:''' You know they were going to sing it to each other at their wedding?

'''Chris:''' [''More silence''] I see.

'''Matthew:''' Well, this, this is really...this has really been enlightening. Learning about just how unworthy a person can be for my daughter. How much of a...I have to congratulate you, though, because you totally did a great job at getting Kacey and Chris back together.

'''Kacey:''' [''Bursting in''] Seriously, Chris, how could you?!

'''Matthew:''' [''Cracks the fuck up'']

'''Kacey:''' You've been so insulting to my father, and everything...Chris would never have done this! Maybe I did make a wrong decision! I don't think I can do this.

'''Chris:''' [''Heavy sigh'']

'''Kacey:''' Maybe I was thinking of him all along, maybe I just displaced things. Just, I can't believe you would do this. I was crying, and all you did was argue with my father. You didn't even care enough to check on me, or see if you could talk to me, Chris would never have done that. Chris would have demanded to talk to me right away and he would have calmed me down. I mean, obviously you misunderstood me.

'''Chris:''' I guess...maybe I did.

'''Kacey:''' You know what? I don't want you. I don't want this, I don't need this right now. I have so much going on with finals and everything, and this is the way you're going to act? Yeah. My father's right. You're going to have to do something HUGE. You can't even work on the comic you promised me, you made me a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing. Where the Hell's the comic, Chris? You know what? You probably still won't make it. So you know what? I can't do this. You need to totally reform your life. I mean, Chris would have come by. He would have driven the two hours just to comfort me once he heard I was crying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, if I knew where you were I would have driven two hours as well. But I did not know...

'''Kacey:''' You know you won't! You always want me to come to you. It's stupid.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean... yeah, I would have asked, I mean, I did ask you for your address, but then... and I did ask you for your phone number.

'''Kacey:''' And I told you that you can't get it until you get my parents to trust you because you know they're overprotective! And you think this is the way you do it?! I bet you're not even gonna finish the comic! You can't even finish it tonight. Or anything. You can't do anything.

'''Chris:''' I can so.

'''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you're not motivated enough. Because you haven't done anything like that. You've promised me a song a long time ago, never got it. Chris has written me, like, three songs. You promised me tons of things, you never keep your promises. You just sit around playing video games, you made a stupid ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' thing for me. Come on. All I wanted was the damn comic, all I wanted was you just to pay attention. You don't even pick up the phone anymore because of the trolls, because of the [[stress|STRESS]]. I can't do this. I want a real man.

'''Kacey:''' [''Silence again''] You can't even say anything. Dad, I think you're totally right.

'''Matthew:''' Yeah. Don't tell him where we live, I don't want my name and number, I don't want him to know my name and number.

'''Kacey:''' See?! Look what you've done, Chris. Look what you've done!

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Kacey:''' It's not like you're gonna do anything to make up for it. So you know what? I don't even care. Dad, you can do whatever, that's all he can say, I'm done.

'''Matthew:''' I don't know, I don't think I want to get in trouble...

'''Kacey:''' He's not, Chris, screw this.

'''Matthew:''' I don't want to get in trouble for beating the shit out of this faggot anyway.

'''Kacey:''' I'm gonna go, this is too much for me. You can finish this off, Dad.

'''Chris:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' [''Silence reigns''] I would like to say...good evening.

'''Matthew:''' So...what are you gonna do now?

[''Tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Kacey Call 24]]|nextlink=[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]}}

==External links==

*[http://www.mediafire.com/?ddn91nknqahn87a mp3 of phone call]
*[[Niggo|Niggo-rigged]] audio ripped & combined from YouTube vids in [http://db.tt/vNbYguZ0 OGG] or [http://db.tt/akLWEieq MP3]
*Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SKLGsJC6R0 the call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2

2012-06-28T08:37:18Z

Lime: /* External links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

Shortly after the [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call]] was released, a second one was released as well.

Jack uses this call to further berate [[Chris]] about his [[health]], [[money]] and [[Holiday_Greetings|anything]] [[Comic|else]] [[Barbara_Chandler|he]] [[Bob_Chandler|felt]] [[Kimmi|like]], because Chris is too dumb to hang up. Jack also reveals a hypothesis that his mother might have performed surgery on [[Bob_Chandler|Bob]]. It is also revealed that he only has roughly $200 in his savings (which is probably [[Monthly_tugboat|your money]]). This call is also one of the few instances where [[Barbara_Chandler|Snorlax]] makes an appearance.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Jack:''' [''using a mocking falsetto voice''] Hi, Chris. It's me, [[Kim]].
 '''Chris:''' No, it's not.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, oh, oh, okay I-- I guess-- I guess you saw through my ruse, Chris, you know. It's me, Jack, your best friend... Aren't we friends Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' Hmm?
 '''Chris:''' Whatever, I don't know, but, anyways, what's up?
 '''Jack:''' What? What do you mean-- what do you mean, "Whatever"? What do you mean, "Whatever"? [''Chris tries to interrupt''] God dammit, man! Anyways, I got shit on Clyde. You-- you wanna know... you wanna know it?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, what do you have on Clyde?
 '''Jack:''' Well, first of all, he wears glasses.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, he wears glasses.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Go on.
 '''Jack:''' Second of all, he likes Pokémon... for some reason. His favorite Pokémon (pronounced Pokey man) is Bidoof.
 '''Chris:''' Okay... Bidoof. Okay.
 '''Jack:''' Bidoof!
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I know what a Bidoof is.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah-eh, I'm sure you are... a Bidoof.
 '''Chris:''' Okay well--
 '''Jack:''' He also likes Sonic...
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' And, uh... let me see what else does he... hmm. Well, Chris, that's-- I guess that's all that I'm gonna tell you for now, but how was your day? I saw you made a video.
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Jack:''' I saw you made a video.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay... Yeah, a holiday greeting video.
 '''Jack:''' Uh-huh, have-- I have a question Chris: have you ever heard of St. Mary's Hospital?
 '''Chris:''' St. Mary's Hospital, I have heard that name before--
 '''Jack:''' In Richmond, Virginia.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, so that's where-- so that's where it's located.
 '''Jack:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack:''' From 1989 to 1999, ''I'' lived in Richmond.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' You also lived in Richmond.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but I not live that-- that long a time. I lived there shorter-- shorter length than you... Obviously, because I lived there from '92 to 2000. Which-- uh-- which is like, that's like 8--
 '''Jack:''' That doesn't matter. I was still in the same fucking city as you at the same time. And something else: my mother worked in the cathlab at St. Mary's.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' Now, I hear that Bob had bypass surgery. Is this true?
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he did.
 '''Jack:''' When was this?
 '''Chris:''' This was quite a few years ago, during that-- during that decade.
 '''Jack:''' Interesting, did-- did he get it done at St. Mary's?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, I'm not sure it was St.-- I'm not sure it was-- I'm not sure if it was St. Mary's. Uhh, it was the hospital closest to, uhh, Cloverleaf Shopping Center.
 '''Jack:''' Uhh...
 '''Chris:''' That's-- uh-- that's a good way of describing its location, anyway.
 '''Jack:''' Well... o-- okay I was-- anyways, yeah, my mother might have operated on your father... isn't that ''creepy''?
 '''Chris:''' Okay... [''Chris speaks away from the phone''] Yes, mom? Mom [''indistinct'']
 '''Jack:''' Uh-oh, UH-OH, uh-oh, oh. Snorlax.
 '''Chris:''' 'Sup Mom?
 '''Jack:''' [''mockingly impersonating Chris''] Hi, Mommy, hmm. I just wanna cuddle up into your fat rolls, hmm. Yeah, hmm, yeah. [''mockingly hums like Chris while indistinct conversation happens in background, then snickers to himself'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, sorry about that, my mom was checking in.
 '''Jack:''' [''still impersonating Chris''] It's your mommy, hmm?
 '''Chris:''' [''oblivious to mocking''] Yeah, well, she wants me let the cat-- let-- let the cat in, 'cuz it's going to be very cold tonight... Uh, so, anyway, you're saying your mother might have operated on my father?
 '''Jack:''' Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-- well, okay, that's good.
 '''Jack:''' I find that very creepy. I might have even run into you while you lived in Richmond.
 '''Chris:''' Huh. Well, I wouldn't have known it... or I wouldn't remember it... at this time. So it's a possibility, yes. Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' That's interesting.
 '''Chris:''' Quite.
 '''Jack:''' Have you ever thought about moving out of your house?
 '''Chris:''' Eventually, maybe.
 '''Jack:''' Where would you wanna move?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not sure right now, but I would say that-- I would say a nice little house in Charlottesville.
 '''Jack:''' [laughs] Pfft, you afford a place in Charlottesville? That's funny.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Well-- well, anyway, that's a--that's a long ways-- that's a lon-- bit aways from now, anyway.
 '''Jack:''' A bit a-- bit aways? You're almost thirty-years-old, and... you... [''holding back laughter''] -- that CADD degree sure is coming in handy!
 '''Chris:''' Oy vey! Whatever.
 '''Jack:''' "Oy-- "Oy vey"?!
 '''Chris:''' Anyway...
 '''Jack:''' What are you, suddenly Jewish? How much money have you made in your life, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' In my lifetime... I can't even count that high.
 '''Jack:''' You'v--
 '''Chris:''' I don't even-- I don't even know-- I'm not gonna--
 '''Jack:''' That's not-- no! That's not-- that's not-- no, no-no, no. No, money that you get from the government is not money that you make. That is money that is ''given to you'' so that you can buy the essentials: food... medicine, and clothing.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 [''6:00'']
 '''Jack:''' ''You'' use it for... shit you don't need, like your precious [[PS3|pee-ess-triple]].
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. Okay, well.... Alright, so-- alright, so in the, uhh-- ...okay, umm.... Okay, aside from that, is there anything else in your mind?
 '''Jack:''' Umm... you're gonna piss off a lot of, uhh... oh, yeah. Answer it, Chris. Answer the question: how much have you made? Five dollars, right?
 '''Chris:''' I made some money, yes.
 '''Jack:''' And what'd you do with that money? Waste it all.
 '''Chris:''' No, I saved it.
 '''Jack:''' You saved--
 '''Chris:''' It's in a savings account.
 '''Jack:''' [''Jack's mouth erupts with flatulence''] You have a savings account? Really? A savings account?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' How much is in it?
 '''Chris:''' About two hundred... right now.
 '''Jack:''' Whoahohaha! That's savings, alright! ...Savings, alright... Two hundred in a savings account...
 '''Chris:''' Well, whatev-- Well, anyway...
 '''Jack:''' That's funny.
 '''Chris:''' Is there anything else that you would like to talk about?
 '''Jack:''' Oh, yeah, you're gonna piss off a lot of people with [[Aspergers|Ass Burger's]] if you keep this shit up. I'm just saying, I mean...
 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm not gonna do-- be saying stuff-- I'm not gonna be saying anything new about that, other than what I have made--
 '''Jack:''' Why? Why can't you accept the fact that it is a condition that is associated with... autistic-- au-tism? You-- you seem to confuse--
 '''Chris:''' Because it is not.
 '''Jack:''' Chris, it is a ''scientific fact''... that it is a ''fucking''-- it's on the aut-ism... spectrum.
 '''Chris:''' I have read that on the Ha-Wikipedia [''kind of like "Cool Ha-Whip"''] page, yes. I just--
 '''Jack:''' [''here Jack tries to send a subliminal message to Chris using Morse code''] No, no-no, no, no-no-no. Don't you fuckin' say that... it's an opinion, because it's ''not'' an opinion. It's a fact!
 '''Chris:''' I hav-- I n-- I hav-- I have not said-- I did not
 '''Jack:''' You-- you-- you know what? You know, I have a suggestion for you: okay, go to PBS.com, and go to the Arthur thing, and there's a little game... for you to play. It's called "Binky"-- "Binky's Fact or Opinion Game", you get-- and you have to try and figure out which statement is a fact and which is an ''opinion''.
 '''Chris:''' [''amazed at the complexity of this non-''Guitar Hero''/non-''LittleBigPlanet'' game''] I see...
 '''Jack:''' You see? You see? Because you seem to not be able to differ-rentriate between the two of them.
 '''Chris:''' I can diffientriate between fact and fiction.
 '''Jack:''' No, no, I said, "differentiate between fact and ''opinion''".
 '''Chris:''' I can diffientriate between fact and opinion, as well.
 '''Jack:''' Then-- okay, then are... are autism and Asperger's similar?
 '''Chris:''' They are not.
 '''Jack:''' That is a ''fucking''... what-- I told y-- It's a ''fucking fact'' that they are similar! Okay?! Asperger's [''in all of Jack's cases, he pronounces it "Ass Burgers", in such a way that mimics Chris.''] is just... a fucki-- is-- you ''wish'' that you had Asperger's, okay? Hell, I have a form of au-tism! I have ADHD.
 '''Chris:''' Okay-- [''incoherent babbling'']
 '''Jack:''' Attention-deficit hyperactive disorder. You know what that means? That means that... I am on the autism spectrum. That means that I have-- suffer from forms of autism.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm. ...I see... ...Okay.
 '''Jack:''' And, unlike you, I don't use it as a ''fucking crutch''! I don't... explain away my behavior based upon my... condition.
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Jack:''' I-- I can tell that you're not listening at all, and that you're just-- you're saying stuff to--
 '''Chris:''' I am-- I ''am'' listening to you.
 '''Jack:''' [''laughter''] No, you're not, because-- 
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I am.
 '''Jack:''' -- I've heard you do this before with talks with Clyde... and with, uhh, ya know... other people... and shit. I've heard this before.
 '''Chris:''' I listen to you; you said you have ADH-- ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactive disorder), and you said that it's a form-- it's a type of autism.
 '''Jack:''' Is that a fact, or opinion?
 '''Chris:''' Absolutely(?) really(?) been paying attention.
 '''Jack:''' Is that a fact, or opinion?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' Is that a fact, or opinion?
 '''Chris:''' Alright, it is a fact.
 '''Jack:''' Good job! You get a gold star! Just like back in preschool, isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' Now what about Asperger's?
 '''Chris:''' ...What about...?
 '''Jack:''' Is Asperger's a form of autism?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, Asperger's is a form of autism.
 '''Jack:''' Ah, shit, son! It took you ''this'' long to admit that science is correct. ...Also, I don't think you understand much about Asperger's. You seem to have just ''skimmed through'' the article on Wikipedia. Why don't you read it all?
 '''Chris:''' I ''did'' read it all. [''incoherent babbling'']
 '''Jack:''' Then di-- where does the name "Asperger's syndrome" come from?
 '''Chris:''' It came from the guy who founded it, Assburger. That's his last name.
 '''Jack:''' Assburge-- Assburger? No, it's As''perger''. He's--
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, As''perger''.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, anyways.... You win.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' You win-- you win a gold star, Chris. Why don't you go-- go to the-- go drive around in the snow, go to the store, get, you know, a sticker-sheet of gold stars, and pin two gold stars on your chest, 'cuz you just won.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Well, anyway...
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' I'm... finishing up a-- I'm finishing up a page right now, so--
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you better finish it up!
 '''Chris:''' -- I'll be uploading that soon.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 [''they simultaneously say, "Yeah, okay."'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, [''in a very sweet tone''] alright, I'll talk to you later. You take care and be safe.
 '''Jack:''' I love you.
 [''awkward silence as a chill runs down Chris's spine from fear of [[homos]]'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, bye-bye.
 [''Jack giggles like a schoolgirl''] 

{{succession|label=[[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddeus's phone calls]]|prevlink=[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call]]|nextlink=[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?poxj1sby7185ic7 MP3 of the phone call]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysi9Nvkw0Kg YouTube of the call]
*[http://pbskids.org/arthur/games/factsopinions/factsopinions.html The Arthur Facts and Opinions game]

[[Category: Jack Thaddeus Phone Calls]]

Jack Thaddeus Phone Call

2012-06-28T08:33:36Z

Lime: /* External links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

{{quote|Take your problems head on. Do not fucking dodge them. I just read that from a fortune cookie. Except I added the fucking part because Chinese people don't curse a lot.|Jack Thaddeus}}

{{quote|[''[[Stress sigh|sigh]]''] My blood is not made of gravy.|Chris, shattering the basis of every belief that we've ever held about him}}

In [[December 2009]], [[Jack Thaddeus]] called [[Chris]], to discuss the recent events involving Chris's statements about [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger's]], [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and his [[Sonichu's Edge|Parkay]].

Most of the call, Jack reprimands Chris and tells him he has a problem with making his [[comic]]s, his [[health]] and his [[mailbag]]. Chris remains monosyllabic and uninterested throughout, except to silence Jack with two fairly solid burns. Rather than angering Chris, this call seems to have inflicted a lot of [[stress]] on Chris, which will cause him to take a [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|Power Nap]].

It's important to note that this is the first time we see Chris actually being able to counter-insult properly. While some may see this as proof that he is, in fact, growing as a person, the laws of probability state that if a person continuously rambles off ridiculously stupid statements, there is a minute possibility that one of them will actually come out as really clever. He then proves this by apologizing.

==Transcript==
'''Chris:''' I'm just replying to-
 '''Jack:''' I'm pissed at you! No! Shut up, I'm pissed at you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, is this because I haven't picked up?
 '''Jack:''' No- well, yes! That's actually- you get a point. Okay, you get- you get a gold star, just like you would if you were in a retard class, which you probably were in, because, well, you're Chris. Anyways, um, so, yeah, apparently, you're all butthurt about people calling you- saying that you have Asperger's which is pretty funny considering that, you know, it pisses you off, so-
 '''Chris:''' Whatever.
 '''Jack:''' What-what? What? What?
 '''Chris:''' I'm like, whatever. It's a mislabel.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, oh! No, it's cute. It's cute! You think that- you think that Asperger's- people with Asperger's are trying to take the quote/unquote “limelight” away from people with [[autism]]. What- how- why... why is that- that's like saying, "People with cancer are trying to take the limelight away from people with AIDS," ...although you'd probably like that, considering you hate the [[homos]].
 '''Chris:''' Maybe.
 '''Jack:''' You know a friend of mine has AIDS. He's gay.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel bad for him. And he has my sympathy- he has my pity.
 '''Jack:''' But he's gay Chris!
 '''Chris:''' I know. I, uh- I assumed that because you know, you said he had gay- he had AIDS.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you assume- you assume that everybody that has AIDS is gay. Wow. Wow, Chris. Wow, that's- way to fuckin', you know, fall into the fuckin' pit of stupid. You know, a lot of people have AIDS, not just gay people. Actually, more straight people have AIDS than gay people. But, anyways, I'm pissed at you for multiple reasons. First of all, the comic sucks. Second of all, the video you did sucks. You know, [[Vivian]]'s been yelling at me saying I'm interfering; I'm interfering. I didn't do shit, okay? So, you know. That- that bitch is crazy, so you know. Also, you didn't fuckin' answer my letter that I sent to you.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I haven't found your letter.
 '''Jack:''' I told you!
 '''Chris:''' I checked in the mailbag and I-
 '''Jack:''' Because you went and put it in rejected, you dumb shit!
 '''Chris:''' I did not put it in [[Rejected Mailbag]]- I did not- I did not find anything from Jack Thad- from you.
 '''Jack:''' I- I told you it was in the name "David Crass"! You really think I'm stupid enough to put my name as Jack Thaddeus?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, wait, okay, okay, I just found it. Okay, I just found it.
 '''Jack:''' Now read it out to me. Read it out to me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. “Dear Chris, why is [[Rosechu]] so useless?”
 '''Jack:''' Now answer it. Why is she so useless?
 '''Chris:''' Well, she is not useless.
 '''Jack:''' [''laughter''] Okay, okay, so, so what did she do in the last, uh, comic? In this- in this comic right here.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] She took down some Punislavs and some [[Jerkops]]... with her lightning blade.
 '''Jack:''' Everybody else was doing that. Her lightning- no, and then she got kidnapped! How is it that she's able to apparently fight these people, and then suddenly get kidnapped.
 '''Chris:''' It just happened. It happened from behind her. She does not have eyes in the back of her head.
 '''Jack:''' It just happened. Oh! She got taken from behind. I see that's- she got taken from... [''trails off''] Also Punislavs? That's kinda- Slavs, you know that Slavs are an ethnic group? That's kinda I'm just saying Chris-
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupting''] Well, would you rather I called it a “slave?”
 '''Jack:''' Yes, that might be nice. That might be nice. What you think that all black- that "slaves"- that "slave" has suddenly become a bad word? It makes more sense, Chris. If they're fuckin'- God dammit. You know what? You know what? You know what, you should be talking to Vivian about this shit, because I'm just saying. I mean- but, anyways. Why is Rosechu not a useless piece of shit? And also, why is your plot so fucking convoluted and unnecessarily complicated? You make characters, and then you retcon them into the fucking story and then they disappear. They play no role.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] They did play a role; they helped in defending the city of [[CWCville]].
 '''Jack:''' That's not a fucking- okay, okay, you seem to have a problem with storytelling. CWCville- the defense of CWCville doesn't mean shit if there's no story, and you need certain main characters. A bunch of fucking secondary characters doesn't do shit.
 '''Chris:''' Well, [[Sonichu]] is a main- Sonichu and Rosechu are the main characters.
 '''Jack:''' Then why do you have so many fucking other characters? The only character I like is [[Punchy]] Sonichu, and that's because he reminds me of Clyde. [''long pause''] What?
 '''Chris:''' Nothing. Nothing. Anyway... Mmm.
 '''Jack:''' People told you that that picture of that Guido wasn't Clyde, but you didn't listen. Remember back then?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, you're- that was just one of- that was- that was actually... fucking comedy gold, man. I- I- I am actually not- I actually- I'm proud of you for not listenin' to, ya know, advice of other people, and, you know, just- just being the ''dumb shit'' that you are and just making that video of you, having a picture of that Guido from the Jersey shore. Ahaha. Ohh... You're a funny guy, Chris. But, okay, I'll- I'll...
 [''Chris makes a noise to make sure that we still know he has a pulse'']
 '''Jack:''' You can, you know- I'm- we're gonna have- we're not- I'm not hanging up. We're having our talk right now, Chris, so don't- don't fuckin' try and rush me, okay?
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack:''' 'Cuz I- I can hear you, you know, fucking... shifting around and going [''at this point, Jack makes raptor noises''], like you're fucking... getting tortured, okay? So don't get antsy with me.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not doing- I'm not making any noises.
 '''Jack:''' I- I- no, I- I hear you. I hear you, Chris... you know.
 '''Chris:''' You're listening to the radio in the background.
 '''Jack:''' Why- who the fuck still listens to radio?! I mean, I- I li- I listen to NPR, but, you know, otherwise, who the fuck cares?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well- well, that's John Tesh.
 '''Jack:''' Who the fuck is John Tesh?! Sounds like a fag!
 [''after a pause, they simultaneously say "Anyways...", and, afterward, Chris quietly sighs'']
 '''Jack:''' Oh, you fucker! Anyways- God!- parkour: eh, you seem to really not understand parkour.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' You really... don't understand- seem to understand- [''sigh''] you know what? Yeah, you- I don't... hmm... Why don't ''you'' explain stuff to me, Chris? I- I'd like to- I'd like to know what you... think would be passing as, uhh, you know... you know... parkour?
 '''Chris:''' I did not understand the question.
 '''Jack:''' [''quietly to himself''] That was actually pretty funny. Umm... what is parkour?
 '''Chris:''' Par-core: to my interpretation... it is a style of running. Running from one point to another... yes, with jumps... and along the walls, and other things.
 '''Jack:''' Mmm... that's- you interpreted it wrong. It's- well... yeah, you got it then; you got it when you add the... jumping on the walls and shit. It's- but, then again... what you said you were doing was "Parkay", which- Parkay a brand of butter, so, you know, [''Chris begins to interrupt''] seeing that you're a fat load of-
 '''Chris:''' Well... okay, well- ok- well-
 '''Jack:''' '''Hey!''' Do not fucking do that!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I forgot- I... had trouble remembering what the word was.
 '''Jack:''' You know- you know- Chris, settle down. It's not ''nice'' to interrupt ''people''.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack:''' Your parents really failed... at teaching you manners.
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... well... please continue.
 '''Jack:''' ''Yous'' called it Parkay. Now that's hilarious, because... Parkay is a brand of butter, and you're like butter in that you're a fat piece of shit.
 [''Chris gives one of his infamous sighs, which Jack then mocks'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I forg- I-
 '''Jack:''' You really- do you really think- do you really think you're healthy? Do you ''really'' think- do ''you'' think you're healthy?
 '''Chris:''' I could be healthier.
 '''Jack:''' You could be healthier? Okay, yeah... you could be healthier if your fuckin' blood wasn't made of gra''vy''.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] My blood is not made of gravy.
 '''Jack:''' It's not? It's not. Then why... why do you... have to take four fucking breaks in... the video, just running for ten minutes? I can run for ten minutes without taking a break, and I can then go up a flight of stairs, after running ten minutes without a break, and make it to the top... you know, faster than you did.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, then.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty fucking awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack:''' You gonna admit that I'm awesome?
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, I did not understand that question.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, I- I- I was just- oh, are you physically fit?
 '''Chris:''' I will admit that I could be bette- I could be more fit.
 '''Jack:''' I want you to admit that you are fat, and that you have a problem, and that you need to work on it. [''strange noises of discombobulation''] Never mind, I'm- I'm pretty sure you and... [[Kim]] (???)- she's all- alright with that, because she seems like the type that would, you know... be a... fuckin'... you know, bossy-boss. But are you fit, Chris? Yes or no.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Jack:''' Do not say- good. Good, we got somewhere. You are fat. Now... that's the first step in ''fixing'' the problem. Now, you actually have to ''do something'', and by "something", I mean "get out of the house and"- nah, never mind; I don't give a shit.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack:''' Uhh, I don't know... [[Vivian]] is... gonna be pissed, and, you know... I'm just saying.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well, my bad.
 '''Jack''': Anyways... I want you to... stop rejecting... mail that you don't like.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': You- these are your fans, Chris; you shouldn't be fucking pushing them around like this... and actin' like, ya know, just because they say something that you don't agree with, their... opinions suddenly don't matter.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': You know, so.... Vivian is trying to help you, but you don't- you seem to have a problem with taking advice.
 '''Chris:''' I have been taking advice- the advice of Vivian.
 '''Jack''': No, you haven't. [''interruption battle ensues''] You've been- you've been- okay, here's your version of-
 '''Chris:''' O- okay, well I- okay, well, I need to dispel- I need to-
 '''Jack''': ''Chris''!
 '''Chris:''' [''interrupts quietly''] Okay.
 '''Jack''': What have I told you about interrupting?!
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well, I was- I wa- I was sayin' somethin', then, uhh, you started sayin' somethin', so, okay... Continue.
 '''Jack''': Trials and advertisements make... you- trials and adversities make stronger; take your problems head-on; do not fucking dodge them.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': I just read that... from a fortune cookie.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': Except I added the "fucking" part, because-
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': Chinese people don't curse a lot.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack''': Actually, they do, but... I don't know. They- they curse in Chinese... something.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay.
 '''Jack''': How much do you care about Sonichu? [''disgruntled noise of frustration''] Okay! Now I am pissed, Chris, because I know what you're doing; you're just- you're not even listening! There's more-
 '''Chris:''' I am listening to you.
 '''Jack''': No, you're just saying, "Uh-huh. Yeah. Uhm-hmm. Yeah." You... I've heard you do this before.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I ''have'' been listening to you.
 '''Jack''': Hi(?), I remember when you did this with ''Clyde''. You just sit there and just, like, go, "Uhm-hmm. Uhm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Mm." Do I do a good impression of you? I think I do. I'm- I think it's pretty spot-on. So...
 '''Chris:''' Whatever.
 '''Jack''': 'Member when- that's not a fuckin' respo-nse!
 '''Chris:''' That did go on (?).
 '''Jack''': Okay. He- remember when he tried to get you to go to Redmond... and you didn't go?
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Jack''': You didn't go, because you don't give a ''shit'' about Sonichu.
 '''Chris:''' No, I didn't go, because I thought it was [http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3175/3084105453_476453cd30.jpg?v=0|a trap].
 '''Jack''': How could it be a trap? For what?
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Jack''': Do you think Clyde would-
 '''Chris:''' My mom thought it wa- my mom thought it was a trap. My dad thought it was a trap.
 '''Jack''': No, you thought it was a trap!
 '''Chris:''' And th-
 '''Jack''': Mom and Dad don't give a shit about what you do with Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' And then we realized that the- that the e-mails from Mr. Mayamoto came from Mail.com, which is where anybody could pretend to be somebody else.
 [''at this point, Jack basks in the silence of the rare occurrence of having been owned by Chris'']
 '''Jack''': Eh... Well... Miyamoto-
 '''Chris:''' Of course, you know, my family is concerned of my safety, so there you go.
 '''Jack''': Yeah, that's why they shelter you like you're a baby. You know what? My parents threw me out when I turned eighteen. You know ''why'' they threw me out?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... probably because they couldn't stand you?
 [''Chris is now officially on a roll'']
 '''Jack''': Oooh! That earns you... two more gay ads! ...You little sassy-
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': thingy... guy. You gonna apologize?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm apologizing. I apologize for that. Okay, I-
 '''Jack''': No, say, "I'm sorry." Hey, "I am sorry."
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry.
 '''Jack''': Well... they kicked me out because I- because, you know... I have like five other brothers, or something. I don't know. I have a lot of... people in house.
 '''Chris:''' Okay. So it was overcrowded.
 '''Jack''': Yes.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': Just like your house, except it's not full of people; it's full of shit that you don't need! HAHAHAHAHA! Ahhh... we have fun, don't we, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... Well, you are, anyway.
 '''Jack''': Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' And I am not going to interrupt.
 '''Jack''': Anyways... grow some balls, get some initiative, ''fucking'' promote the shit out of Sonichu...
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': ...Vivian's gonna rape me... with the... strap-on, because she's crazy- oh, wait, I was reading an e-mail. Umm... yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack''': Just do whatever Vivian says, and... I'll be calling you soon, and... you don't fucking abuse your fans. Like, they're, you know- you don't have a lot of them, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack''': Also, go to Redmond. Because, you know-
 '''Chris:''' Eventually, I- eventually, I will.
 '''Jack''': Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Jack''': Yeah, I- so... Oh, also- also, don't piss of your Asperger friends, 'cuz, you know, they're fuckin'... crazy-ass niggers.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jack''': Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. So... any other thoughts?
 '''Jack''': Alright. Uhh... you're fat.
 '''Chris:''' Oka- oka- okay, I guess we're done here...?
 '''Jack''': Yep. Bye-bye.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, take care. [[Christmas|Merry Christmas]].
 '''Jack''': Merry Christmas to you, Fatty Fatfat!

{{succession|label=[[Jack Thaddeus|Jack Thaddeus's phone calls]]|prevlink=[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|First]]|nextlink=[[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 2]]|}}

==See also==
*[[Kacey Phone Call]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://filesmelt.com/downloader/jack_call_-_dec_4.mp3 MP3 of the phone call]</s>
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?733a7mu1yb75a5v Alternate download link]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaF7BelpelM Youtube of the call]

[[Category: Jack Thaddeus Phone Calls]]

Jason Kendrick Howell message

2012-06-28T08:24:07Z

Lime: /* External links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

The '''Jason Kendrick Howell voicemail message''' was [[Chris]]'s infantile-yet-laconic threat to [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] after the hacking of [[Sonichu.net]] in [[January 2009]]. In fact, Howell had nothing to do with the site's demise, for the mastermind was [[Clyde Cash|someone]] far more nefarious.

==Context==

On 6 January 2009, [[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays contacted Chris]], claiming to be an employee of [[Nintendo]]. Mays said he had been assigned to redesign Sonichu.net as part of the cross-promotion of Sonichu and [[Animal Crossing]].

In fact, Gregg was really [[Clyde Cash]], seeking vengeance for the suicide of his [[Ryan Cash|little brother]] a few weeks earlier. By 8 January, Chris entrusted him with the password to the site, and in no time at all the site was vandalized. Unable to access the site to restore it, Chris accused Gregg of being a troll and changing the password to lock him out of his Tripod account. Gregg claimed he couldn't access the site either, and suggested that he could restore it if Chris reset the password to his account. Chris complied on 10 January, and soon the account was deleted altogether.

Then, on the 12th, Mays declared that he was Jason Kendrick Howell, a.k.a. Liquid Snake, the creator of the Chris-Chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. After taunting Chris and demanding he make videos for his amusement, Cash finally changed his mind on [[Gregg_Mays_E-mails#January_17.2C_2009|17 January]], and admitted that he was in fact Clyde Cash all along, and not Jason Kendrick Howell.

Chris ignored this revelation, thinking it was the Jason making up yet another alias. After all, Chris had long considered Howell to be the mastermind behind all of the trolls, while Clyde was new to the scene. Further, Chris sent the ''real'' Jason an angry voice mail, and gloated about this in response to a bewildered Clyde.

Meanwhile, the TRUE AND HONEST Jason Kendrick Howell, unaware of any of this, checked his messages and this was what he got...

==The Message==
{{Template:Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|k-ZWM4nlaB8}}
| Stardate = January 17, 2009
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; Jason Kendrick Howell's Answering Machine
| Subject = Chris reacts to the hacking of Sonichu.net.
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde_saga.png]] [[Clyde Cash]] Saga [[Image:Miyamoto_saga.png]] [[Miyamoto]] Saga
| previous = Only
| next = Only
}}

==Transcript==
[[File:100_2214.JPG|thumb|What he intended to do to Jason]]
''Answering Machine:'' First saved message

Jason Kendrick Howell... 
You BASTARD! 
You ''BASTARD!'' 
You hacked into everything! You have driven me so [[Chris and English|beyond]] the wall, I can't even describe it! 
You're laughing now, but 
{{RageQuote|I PRAY YOU DEAD!}}
Goodbye!

==Alternative Transcriptions==
[[Image:ILLBREAKYOUDEAD.jpg|thumb|Original e-mail with text of Chris's threat to Jason]]
Some argue Chris is actually saying "I'll ''break'' you dead", because the image of Chris going into [[tard rage]] mode and snapping Jason in half ([[Sign Destruction Video|or rather clumsily attempting to]]) is quite amusing. Jason himself originally transcribed the message with Chris saying "YOU HAPPY NAPPA (?!? no idea)", rather than "You're laughing now". Given his history of [[Speech impediment|communications]] [[Chris and English|problems]], even Chris himself may have had no idea what he was trying to say.

==Legacy==

Chris would attempt to re-establish his Sonichu website several times, only to be hacked and vandalized as before. In time, Chris would view Clyde Cash as the leader of the trolls, shifting his ire away from Jason. Throughout 2009, Chris would produce numerous videos directed at Clyde, threatening him, pleading with him, or challenging him.

The rage expressed in the message would become a familiar refrain in later sagas, as Chris would often cap off a round of trolling by screaming at his camera and uploading the footage to [[YouTube]].

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]
*[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
*[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]
*[[CWC's Sonichu Site!]]
*[[Chris and Anger]]
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)]], Chris and Clyde's next encounter.
*[[Sonichu 10]], when we actually get to see Chris break someone dead.

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?7300v5ztrt6oyh0 The audio recording]
*[http://db.tt/TZ56D6xe Audio mirror]
*A Jason Retrospective [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISr7Fq7EPY Part 1], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9TtPNnyayY Part 2], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LndR1s5jIRQ Part 3], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ySvT2Qg4 Part 4], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umvpa89jZRU Part 5], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2-41BQvqU Part 6 (5.2)] Jason's commentary on the early history of Chris-Chan trolling, including his POV on the "I'll BREAK YOU DEAD" message.

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category: CWC-isms]]

The Kevin and Bean Show Segment

2012-06-28T08:06:30Z

Lime: Adding download link.

'''''The Kevin and Bean Show'' Segment''' is an 8 minute radio clip in which the hosts of the self-titled [http://kroq.radio.com/shows/kevin-bean/''The Kevin and Bean Show]'' on [[Wikipedia:KROQ-FM|KROQ-FM]] in California find [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|one of Chris's Captain's Logs]] and comment on it. For the most part of it, they are horrified; so horrified that they spend ''two and a half minutes'' playing "Viewer Discretion is Advised" warnings before they play the tape. It aired in [[May 2009]].

This clip is one of two radio segments that were aired about [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and his antics, the other being the [[Toucher and Rich Segment]].

==The video==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|ZtcJZPlQurw}}</center>

==Transcript==

===Viewer discretion is advised===

'''Bean:''' --he's just a weird, geeky guy and he-- ''[audio cuts off]'' ...you're not usually a stellar choice, but tomorrow, you'll find out why it's '[[wikipedia:Top_Gun|Top Gun]] Day'. Apparently there's a new holiday joining the calender, guys, that we didn't know about. Top Gun Day.

'''Kevin:''' Hmmm...!

'''Bean:''' Find out more about that, also actor [[wikipedia:Steve_Zahn|Steve Zahn]]'s gonna be joining us tomorrow. Look, uh, this video we're about to talk about is up at the Kevin and Bean section of KROQ.com. ''I'm'' wondering if this is a ''real'' guy with, you know, he's just a weird geeky guy and he's speaking from the heart or if this is going to turn out to be the next "Borat". This is some sort of comedy genius ['''Lisa May:''' Wow.] and this is just a crazy character he's created. What do you guys think?

'''Kevin:''' Hold up one second.

'''Viewer discretion warning 1:''' The reenactments and commentary in this program may contain frank talk of a sexual nature. Viewer discretion is advised. ''['''Bean''' laughs during this]''

'''Bean:''' Alright, now that we got that in...

'''Kevin:''' H-Hang on.

'''Viewer discretion warning 2:''' This program contains adult language and subject matter, viewer discretion advised.

'''Bean:''' Right, so he turns the camera...

'''Viewer discretion warning 3:''' This program contains sexually explicit dialogue. Viewer discretion is advised.

'''Bean:''' He's a guy, he looks like he's--

'''Viewer discretion warning 4:''' These images may be too shocking for young children.

'''Kevin:''' Alright, 'kay, go ahead.

'''Bean:''' --he's sitting, he's sitting in a--

'''Viewer discretion warning 5:''' A warning: some of what you're about to see and hear is explicit.

'''Kevin:''' Alright, go ahead.

'''Bean:''' --he seems to be sitting in his bedroom and he is describing things that he likes to do and I can't imagine-- I mean, I don't-- I can't put myself in the position of a guy who would want to video tape this and put it up on the internet for people to know these sorts of things about him so I figure, well, there must be some other reason he's got.

'''Kevin''' It ''sounds''-- by the way, if he's an actor, he's a ''genius''.

'''Lisa May:''' ''Yes.''

'''Kevin:''' It sounds like he's gotten some responses to videos that he has already video taped of himself and put up online. And other--

'''Bean:''' He also has his own little [[YouTube]] channel, ['''Kevin:''' Yes.] and he's developed a ''cult'' of people who can't believe the stuff that he talks about.

'''Bean:''' Yes.

'''Viewer discretion warning 6:''' Parental discretion is advised.

'''Bean:''' Alright, so, um, this is ''him''...

'''Viewer discretion warning 7:''' The American Humane Association monitored the animal action. No animal was harmed in the making of this program. ''['''Lisa May''' laughs during this]''

'''Bean:''' Alright, here we go.

'''Viewer discretion warning 8:''' If you have little children and you allow them to listen to the following conversation, you are a bad parent. A ''really'' bad parent. You are seriously ''[censored]'' up. You with your illegitimate kids and your bad judgment and whatnot. ''['''Bean''', throughout: Alright. Alright, okay.]

'''Bean:''' Alright. He's a little bit of an [[obesity|overweight]] guy with a [[hair|receding hairline]], he's wearin' the, y'know, the [[Chris and fashion|polo shirt]], and he's in what looks like his [[chris's room|bedroom]] with... it has to be dozens and dozens of action figures behind him. He looks like he'd be a sci-fi geek.

'''Kevin:''' He looks like--

'''Bean:''' He's not talking about sci-fi.

'''Kevin:''' He looks like he's in his late... twenties, maybe even thirty. Which makes--

'''Lisa May:''' [[Chris and health|Aging badly]].

'''Kevin:''' Which makes it all the more disturbing.

'''Lisa May:''' Yeah.

'''Viewer discretion warning 9:''' This program contains graphic images that may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. The people profiled all survived. Discretion is advised. ['''Bean:''' Alright...]

''[The presenters all laugh]''

'''Bean:''' You won't wanna survive though after you hear it, here's the-- here's the dude.

===Playing the video===

:'''Chris:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log, uh, Stardate April 28th 2009]].

'''Bean:''' ''Anyone'' that starts with [[Captain's Log]], Stardate...

'''Lisa May:''' Yeah.

'''Kevin:''' You've got a guy who believes he's living on the bridge of the Enterprise.

'''Bean:''' That's correct, yes.

:'''Chris:''' Uhh... a-about... it's- it's a...good idea some-uhhh, if uh it's a good idea, but, uh.

'''Kevin:''' Now, he's referring to a video that he put up that people are questioning.

'''Lisa May:''' Mkay.

'''Kevin:''' They're saying, "Why would you do that?". So he's referring to-- I think it's a good idea if it doesn't bother you, but if it does bother you, then you don't have to do it.

'''Bean:''' What's he talking about?

'''Kevin:''' ... [[dirty, crapped briefs|you'll find out]].

:'''Chris:''' You know you don't have to do it if you don't like it, but... I [[recycling|recycle]] my own [''here, the word "[[semen]]" has been beeped out.'']

'''Bean:''' Oh, wow.

:'''Chris:''' Yes, I recycle it.

'''Bean:''' Okay, you could use your imagination, but it's something that comes out of the body.

'''Kevin:''' Yeah and it's... yeah.

'''Bean:''' And by the way... it seems to me, I think this is a rule of thumb, nothing that comes out of the body, needs to be saved or recycled...

'''Kevin:''' [''Laughs in the background'']

'''Lisa May:''' No...

'''Bean:''' ...or treasured, right.

'''Lisa May:''' ...no, just let it go.

'''Bean:''' Whatever fluids or solids you're imagining right now, all of those should be done away with, there's a reason they're expelled from the body, no reason to try to save that stuff.

'''Kevin:''' That's correct. Or recyc-- this is taking recycling maybe a little too far, is what we're saying.

:'''Chris:''' Anyway, the—anyway, af—from after that the, uh, second topic, the, uh, one where I spanked myself.

'''Bean:''' Okay, here's another video he's talking about where he apparently spanks himself.

:'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just, uh, I was doin' that for fun, because, y'know, sometimes I do random, silly, crazy things...

'''Kevin:''' [''chuckle'']

:'''Chris:''' and, uh... ''sometimes'' adults feel pleasure from pain...

'''Kevin:''' Alright, now this is where he gets into his big thing which is "I'm an adult, and adults act this way".

'''Lisa May:''' Is he assuming I'm a child?

'''Kevin:''' I don't know what he's assuming.

'''Lisa May:''' Because he's kind of talking to me like I'm a child.

'''Kevin:''' But I can tell you that I've never done this, I've never really spanked myself on camera.

'''Lisa May:''' But you're an adult!

'''Kevin:''' But I've never done-- I've ''never'' spanked myself on camera.

'''Lisa May:''' Huh.

:'''Chris:''' ...even when they, uh, do it to themselves. Just, like, you know, spanking is, uh, generally a pop— generally a popular type, uh, thing amongst adults. And then the, uh, third topic which was the—uh, the photographs of, uh, me in, uh... 'dult diapers.

'''Kevin:''' Okay so the dude... the dude recycles when he shouldn't.

'''Lisa May:''' Right.

'''Kevin:''' Uh, the dude spanks, and now the dude wears diapers.

'''Lisa May:''' Why does the dude wear diapers?

:'''Chris:'''...regalry—legularly I, uh, do not use them, but I just felt like trying a pair on. And it was okay.

'''Kevin:''' He ''felt'' like trying a pair on, he wanted to see what the sensation was like!

'''Lisa May:''' They're diapers!

'''Kevin:''' Yes.

'''Bean:''' How busy is this guy that he can't walk from his bedroom to the bathroom? Now, and here's where it gets interesting, because he ''again'' refers to the fact that he's an adult and who hasn't worn a diaper? ''['''Lisa May''' laughs]'' Y'know, like, who hasn't done that?

:'''Chris:''' ...and sometimes I do, uh, I get very [[Stress|stressed out]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] it just tends to just build up and sometimes, I just have to—it just comes out, and I sometimes accidentally, uh... poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, [bleep] their underwear...

'''Kevin:''' Umm, me?

'''Lisa May:''' Me too?

'''Bean:''' Everyone, probably?

'''Lisa May:''' Put me in that category.

'''Kevin:''' Who hasn't? So first he says "I wanted to feel the sensation- I wanted to feel what it was like", but then who hasn't needed one, and had to have one?

'''Bean:''' Ewwww.

'''Lisa May:''' Wooooow.

:'''Chris:''' ...at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human.

'''Bean:''' That's true.

:'''Chris:''' ...nothing to be ashamed of. And...

'''Kevin:''' I'd like to suggest that there ''is'' something to be ashamed of if you're doing that to yourself.

'''Lisa May:''' [''laughing''] Yes, I agree.

'''Kevin:''' Perhaps that should be, there should be some shame involved.

'''Bean:''' But I go back to my original question before we heard from this nutjob, is why would you put stuff like this up there on the internet? Is it a sexual turn-on to talk about this stuff or ''is he playing us''? What do you guys think?

'''Lisa May:''' I don't think he's playing us!

'''Kevin:''' I don't know if he's playing us and I...I don't know if it's in the tape because we did have to edit some of it believe it or not for standards and practices and whatnot, but I get the suggestion that he was being asked to do it by [[Ivy|a girl]].

'''Lisa May:''' Well, if ''that guy's'' got a girl he should do whatever she says.

[''the others laugh'']

'''Bean:''' Never get another one.

:'''Chris:''' And to [[trolls|those who find it amusing]], uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions.

'''Kevin:''' Alright.

:'''Chris:''' With that, I just want to continue to make it perfectly clear that I am a [[Chris and Health|healthy]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] [[Obesity|growing]], ['''Kevin:''' Right.] [[Chris Loses It|sane]], ['''Kevin:''' Mhm.] and [[Chris and Reality|sound-minded]], uh, adult individual.

'''Bean:''' Yep! We'll make that count!
:'''Chris:''' And I should continue to be treated and respected as an equal among the human population just as anybody else.

'''Bean:''' I'm gonna say "no".

[''Lisa is overcome with laughter'']

'''Bean:''' How did he have time to film this video when ''[[wikipedia:Star Trek (film)|Star Trek]]'' opened this weekend?

'''Kevin:''' I don't know. And he's holding a [[video game]] controller! He's not playing a video game but he's holding it and messing with it the whole time he's talking.

'''Bean and Lisa:''' Wow.

'''Kevin:''' Like it's [[CWCville|a security blanket]] or something, helps him feel a bit better about it.

'''Sound Bite:''' This is finally the best reason-- the best, most solid justification I've heard for the [[Internet]].

[''Presenters laugh, tape ends'']

==See also==
*[[Toucher and Rich Segment]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?bzp6vm4q0bx65s2 Audio download]

[[Category: Media that has been published in real life]]

Julie Reveals Herself

2012-06-28T08:03:13Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

In this transcript, '''Julie''' is revealed.

==Description==
After being deceived by [[Max]] earlier in the day, Chris retreated to lick his wounds. However, they would cross paths one last time later that night in this hour-long [[Mumble]] chat, where Max continued his onslaught on the [[Chris|manchild]]. He threatened to sell Chris's [[PSN]] account on [[eBay]] several times, going so far to even allow all the proceeds to go directly to [[4-cent_garbage.com|4chan]] as well as [[ED]]. He also threatened to send Julie back to Europe, forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] as the new Mayor of [[CWCville]], and have Chris imprisoned. But the icing on the cake was when Max made Chris destroy his precious [[medallion]] and shove it up his ass. After it was all said and done, Max kept true to his promise and let Julie talk to Chris. Little did Chris know that Julie had a [[Pickle|little surprise]] for him.

It should be noted that [[Clyde Cash]] and several other [[trolls]] were monitoring the entire Mumble conversation. Needless to say, the trolls were disgusted and horrified with BlueSpike's evil requests of Chris. Because of these acts, the following day on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], an explosive troll war took place because of BlueSpike's actions. (See [[BlueSpike|this article]] for more information.)

==Transcript==

===eBay. No. eBay. No. (0:00-11:16)===
'''Max:''' [tape begins with very low quality] Ready? [The sound of the trolls voices can be heard, but very faintly. The audio then becomes more audiable as Max begins his onslaught on Chris.] Christian Chandler, hello!
 '''Chris:''' Hello.
 '''Max:''' Aw, why so down in the dumps?
 '''Chris:''' Come on, you know why.
 '''Max:''' Why? Tell me!
 '''Chris:''' Because you stole my [[PSN]], you stole my Yahoo!, and you're making me choose between all that and my girlfriend.
 '''Max:''' And what did you pick? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' —icked [[Julie]].
 '''Max:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' 'Cause I love her.
 '''Max:''' ...let me tell you right now, Julie isn't that good of a girl. I'll give you one last chance to pick. Make your choice in five seconds: Julie or everything else.
 '''Chris:''' Wait, what you say? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, go ba— What you say?
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not going to go back. No.
 '''Chris:''' I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Really? You sincerely mean it?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, if you don't yell at me one more time, you're not going to get either, so start yelling. I want to see your [[fangs]]! [''maniacal laughter''] Are you constipated? [''high-pitched squealing in delight''] I think you're constipated. Christian takes a dump... Oh, look out, he's reachin' [[Dragonball Z|Super Saiyan]]. You're not mad, you pathetic wimp.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry constipated sound'']
 '''Max:''' You disgust me! Oh, why don't you smack the webcam around some. You're a bitch. You're not going to get my sister that way.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright, fine. You wanted me to get— You want me to get angry, I got angry.
 '''Max:''' That's not angry, you're a— You're a pussy. That's not angry. You're not going to get your PSN if you act like that.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no.
 '''Max:''' No. It's going on [[eBay]].
 '''Chris:''' No, you leave it off!
 '''Max:''' Yes! eBay!
 '''Chris:''' No! No. Look. Alright, look, just, no, no.
 '''Max:''' [''laughter''] eBay... eBay...
 '''Chris:''' No! No! Stop. Stop it.
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Why should I stop?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Stop. I want Julie.
 '''Max:''' Why? Why should I stop? You're getting Julie already. Why do you need the PSN?
 '''Chris:''' [''multiple sighs'']
 '''Max:''' Face it, Chris, it's mine.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not— No, no, no. No.
 '''Max:''' No matter how many times you say "no" like that, it's not going to change it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Aw, are you down in the dumps? Hey, Chris, something that will help you get the PSN. Say something for me.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Say "buhbuhbyenoes".
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry, repeat that?
 '''Max:''' Say that "I'm a [[Homos|homo]]."
 '''Chris:''' [''grudgingly and incoherently''] Ermnahomo...
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] N-No! Say it loud and proud and do pelvic thrusts.
 '''Chris:''' [''muffled''] Ermahomo...
 '''Max:''' Oh! That's not going to get the PSN!
 '''Chris:''' I'm a hommomu—
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Eithe— Then say it louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''screams''] I AM A HOMO!!!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' No! No, no!
 '''Max:''' [''mockingly''] No, that's not okay, Mommy. Yes, it's going on eBay, boy.
 '''Chris:''' No. You have got— No, no, no! No, don't you dare!
 '''Max:''' Why don't you call me a fucking...whatever you call me. Start swearing before I change my mind.
 '''Chris:''' ...rrRRRRAAGHHH YOU FUCKING SUCK SO HARD!!!
 '''Max:''' And you're a fucking homo. What's the difference? That you're the homo. Come on, prove me wrong. Prove me wrong that you're a little pussy, come on.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry muffled noise'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, I'm making the manchild— Are you fucking serious, manchild? That's not gonna— You're, you're just— You just really are dumb. It-it's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No! No! No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes.
 '''Chris:''' You leave it off of eBay.
 '''Max:''' eBay! Yes, yes.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' Stop!
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' STOOOOOP!!!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Why don't you give me the fucky finger while you're at it?
 '''Chris:''' Stop it, I dunno. Look, look, look—
 '''Max:''' Alright, listen, listen. Look, I'm willing to make a deal. Okay? Can you calm down and sit down please?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Now I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You're not putting it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, yes I am.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What, what, Chris? What are you going to do, show your [[fangs]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay. Like it or not, that's final.
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Stop.
 '''Max:''' No. No, I'm opening eBay right now. eBay. Look, eBay. [''keys clicking''] eBay.com.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Stop!
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop! What do you want?
 '''Max:''' I want to sell your PSN on the—
 '''Chris:''' [''pitch rising, he's getting desperate''] [[Chris and negotiation|I-I picked Julie for you! I picked Julie. I picked Julie! Gimme back! Gimme— Gimme back, gimme! I made the right choice, give it—]]
 '''Max:''' No, you picked Julie, that doesn't mean you're going to get the PSN if you pick Julie.
 '''Chris:''' Look, please. Alright, fine, listen, listen—
 '''Max:''' Start auction...
 '''Chris:''' No, stop, stop, just listen to me, please.
 '''Max:''' Umm, how should I label this? Oh! A thousand dollars worth of PSN.
 '''Chris:''' Stop! Stop!
 '''Max:''' Hacked by Max Milvana.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop.
 '''Max:''' Starting bid... A hundred fifty, no, one thousand fifty.
 '''Chris:''' Stop. Stop. Listen to me. Listen to me. You can have my PSN account!
 '''Max:''' I can have it?
 '''Chris:''' But just— But just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Okay!
 '''Chris:''' [''high-pitched''] Take it, you take it! You take it! Just— Just leave it off eBay, please!
 '''Max:''' It's all mine and you can have Julie. We are agreeing?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause, sigh''] Yes, but please, just don't sell it on eBay.
 '''Max:''' Why not? Why shouldn't I sell it on eBay, because I'm about to. Tell me why.
 '''Chris:''' Because you have all those games to download, that's like—
 '''Max:''' I already downloaded them, numbnuts!
 '''Chris:''' How many gigabytes does your [[PlayStation 3]] have?
 '''Max:''' What? I think it's like an eighty-gigabyte; i-it came with ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', so...
 '''Chris:''' [''self-satisfied sigh''] For all the games I have on my PSN account, it's gonna require more than eighty gigabytes, I'll tell you what.
 '''Max:''' Whatever, I'm gonna sell it anyway, I have everything that I want.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no. What if you want to redownload that stuff?
 '''Max:''' Uh...no, I don't think I would. Nice try, though.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Let's see... I think I might have a friend in [[Wikipedia:New Brunswick|New Brunswick]] that wants this, I don't know.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. No.
 '''Max:''' Where's my phone? Oh, here it is. [''dials'']
 '''Chris:''' Listen, listen. You— You— You keep my account, okay? You keep my account and—
 '''Max:''' And I'll put it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' —leave it alone. No.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm gonna put it on eBay. Actually, I'm going to give it to [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Metal Gear series#Liquid Snake|Liquid Snake]]. I'm going to give it to Liquid Snake, and he's going to defile your name.
 '''Chris:''' No, leave it off. No, no. No!
 '''Max:''' I'm going to give it to 4chan, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] I'm going to give it to [[4-cent_garbage]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. They're both going to get it, it's mine! They're all going to have it! All of your money's donating to that— They're going to sell it and it's going to go right to ED.
 '''Chris:''' Stop, stop, stop.
 '''Max:''' Donation: $1,000, by Christian Weston Chandler!
 '''Chris:''' [''getting louder''] No, just stop, just stooooop!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, why don't you yell some louder. Why don't you yell— Why don't you wake the dead with your howl, like... Come on, I want you to yell. Yell as loud as you possibly can and I'll give you the PSN, no strings attached.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' You— You yell like a pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, yell louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''yells''] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
 '''Max:''' Uh-oh. I won't like you when you're mad. Oh wait, I do, because it's pretty fucking funny to watch your dumb ass. Hey, Chris. Here, I'll give you the PSN if you can do one thing.
 '''Chris:''' Alright...
 '''Max:''' Suck my dick.
 '''Chris:''' How can I do you— How can I do yours when you're all the way over there?
 '''Max:''' I'll go all the way to [[Virginia]]. Will you do it? Will you suck a dick? No, wait, even better. No, I want you to go to [[The GAMe PLACe]], apologize to [[Michael Snyder|the manager]], and suck HIS [[Pickle|dick]]. And I want you to record it and put it on [[YouTube]].
 '''Chris:''' Aaaaah... Please, don't be— Don't be such a meanie.
 '''Max:''' Oh, "meanie"? Fuck you! Suck your manager's dick.
 '''Chris:''' Look, look, listen, alright? Listen, just listen.
 '''Max:''' Listen to what?
 '''Chris:''' Max— Max, you are a great being. You are— You're a humble person. Please, I'm only a lowly— I'm only a lowly servant among your trestles.
 '''Max:''' [''disbelieving''] Wha... Uh...
 '''Chris:''' I only ask you— I only ask for your sister's true love and honesty.
 '''Max:''' Sh-shut up! You can have— You can have my sister. You just can't have the PSN. Keep her.
 '''Chris:''' But listen, I—
 '''Max:''' No, eBay. That's it, I'm putting it on eBay. I-I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm putting it on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No, stop. Look, I'm putting myself— I'm putting yourself on your mercy here. Please, just leave my— Just leave it off of eBay!
 '''Max:''' Fine, do a dance. Do a dance for me. Dance, you fucking monkey! Dance! Dance, you fucking monkey! [''squeaks/laughs''] Alright, you— Stop, dude. Stop, right now. Now dance like [[Chris and death#Mike Jackson (1969-2010)|Michael Jackson]].
 '''Chris:''' [''makes panting sounds, presumably dancing'']
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Oh, what the fuck? Oh, don't! No, don't! Oh, no more! No more. When you grabbed your crotch, that was enough. Hey, Chris, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' Yes!
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' I'm going to go over to my computer right now. Start auction.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yup. Yup. Start auction. Let's see, thousand-dollar-worth PSN account hacked... I'm going to start the bid at five hundred dollars.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] You win. Win. I give up.
 '''Max:''' What? I win? It's mine?.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, but just don't sell it on eBay. Please?
 '''Max:''' It's gone.
 '''Chris:''' Look, you can have it, you can—
 '''Max:''' I have a better idea. How about I give it to ED?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' And they slander your precious little name all over the floor, with the cat crap you slip on. How does that sound, Chris? You fucking dumb fuck.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Chris holds Max at Duckpoint (11:16-14:00)===
'''Max:''' What are you going to do? Mope? Why don't you show some fucking anger like a man, you fucking pussy? Come on. No, no. "But" nothing, you're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No...
 '''Max:''' No, sit right there, like a bitch. You stink like a bitch, you have the boobs of a bitch, and you look like a bitch. And I bet you don't even have a dick down there. You ''are'' a bitch. You've got a big old set of...ovaries... NO!!! NO, NO!!! DON'T!!! OK. OK. OK. You have a dick, you have a dick! Don't fucking SHOW me, you [[Pedofork|pedo...fork]]. What the fuck is wrong with you, trying to show me that? Look, I can report you to the cops right now for illegal, indecent exposure or some shit. I don't know. DON'T EVEN...
 '''Chris:''' Nothing was actu—
 '''Max:''' Don't...
 '''Chris:''' —nothing was actually exposed.
 '''Max:''' Well, whatever. Don't show me your dick, please. Just— Just don't.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' That's where I cross the line.
 '''Chris:''' Fine. That's wh— Selling— Selling my PSN account on eBay, that's where I cross the line.
 '''Max:''' Well, its going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line, I'm crossing this line.
 '''Max:''' It's going on eBay.
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' You cross that line...
 '''Max:''' No, yeah, go ahead, it's going on eBay no matter what you do. It's going on eBay no matter what you say. You don't even have the balls to do it anymore, you pussy. It's going on eBay. It's going on eBay no matter what you do. And if you show me your dick, I'm gonna lower it so that any old schmo can get it. So I'd pull those pants right up. It's going on eBay. Uh-huh, eBay, woo-hoo!
 '''Chris:''' Look, okay— No, listen, stop.
 '''Max:''' eBay, eBay, eBay, eBay.
 '''Chris:''' You take it off of eBay and I'll pull my pants back up—
 '''Max:''' No. It's— It's already on eBay. It's already on. I actually fucking got a bid already, I-I already got a bid. I can't believe it. I'm giving it to this guy. It's gone. Going, going, gone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Why do you keep using the hand sanitizer, you stupid fuck? Wait, wait. Move over to the chair for a minute. There's something behind you. Move so that I can see behind you... Oh! That's the cup from [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], isn't it?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' What is it then?
 '''Chris:''' It's the— It's a [[McDonald's]] tea cup!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I figured it would be McDonald's. That's why you're so fat. You got some man-tits going on, big jiggly. Cover that shit up, I don't want to see it. Chris, you are at my beck and call. I would cover that shit up before I get too disgusted. Alright, now I'm going to take it off eBay, but if you yell at me once, it's going on eBay for one dollar.
 '''Chris:''' Wait. What?
 '''Max:''' And if you fucking start with me one more time, it's going on eBay for a dollar.

===Dance like a Gay Man (14:00-15:38)===
'''Max:''' Hey, can I tell you a secret?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' I actually... I'm not going to send Julie over there anyway. I'm not going to help her to see you.
 '''Chris:''' No. No. You stop. Y-y-y— We had an agreement. I picked Julie!
 '''Max:''' Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Well, she's going to have to find her own way over there, 'cause I'm not helping.
 '''Chris:''' No! You— You help her over here...
 '''Max:''' [''drowning out Chris''] Make me! Why don't you make me? Make me! Unless you can positively disgust me, you're not going to make me.
 '''Chris:''' Unless I can positively disgust you?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, which you already do, so...
 '''Chris:''' Look, please, I'm— I'm begging, I'm begging you— I'm begging here, you actually need to send Julie over here, please—
 '''Max:''' No, how about you suck a dick? Suck a dick and take one in your ass. I am not gonna give Julie the money unless you can persuade me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' How about, Chris—
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself— I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' I can't even see you.
 '''Chris:''' I throw myself on your mercy, please.
 '''Max:''' ...Nah. How about you do me a favor? Dance again. Dance for my amusement. Dance like a gay man.
 '''Chris:''' [''makes shuffling sounds'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, you know, I should have just said do the dance like... Chris? Can I tell you something? Did you kill a horse jockey for that shirt?
 '''Chris:''' No, [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]].

===Medallion or PSN? (15:38-18:14)===
'''Max:''' Yeah. Hey, I have a question? Why aren't you wearing your [[medallion]]?
 '''Chris:''' [''exasperated sigh''] Because I promised you that I wouldn't wear it.
 '''Max:''' Put it on, right now. Actually, no, get it really quickly, because I have to tell you something. If you want your PSN account, you're going to have to burn it. Burn the medallion and earn a PS3. A PSN account. What's it gonna be? Your woman and your PSN, or— No, no, no. I'm not going to give you that... Uh, anyway, just burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' No, wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop. You told me—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I'm not going to get into it, just burn your medallion and we'll see what happens.
 '''Chris:''' I might—
 '''Max:''' You might get your PSN if you burn your medallion.
 '''Chris:''' What about Julie?
 '''Max:''' You'll get her. You'll get her no matter what you do, unless you take the PSN. Then you won't get Julie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' I want you to burn your medallion, in your hand. Do it.
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm getting it.
 '''Max:''' Are you seriously thinking that I'm going to fall for any of your shit today? 'Cause let me tell you, shithead, I'm not.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm getting it, okay? It's up here...
 '''Max:''' Oh, oh! And one— One more thing? Hey, Chris, I want— I want you to [[Semen|jizz]] on it before you burn it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' Jizz?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and— Oh, and say one thing for me really quickly? Say that [[BILLY MAYS]] is the Mayor of [[CWCville]]. Say it. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute, what does "jizz" mean?
 '''Max:''' Oh, "what does 'jizz' mean?" I'm telling you to [[mass debate]] on it, you stupid dick.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Look, do it so that I can't see you, and really quickly— Really quickly, Chris? Yell one thing for me really loudly. Can you do this? Say that BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it loud.
 '''Chris:''' BILLY MAYS?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, BILLY MAYS. Say it.
 '''Chris:''' Who the hell is he?
 '''Max:''' BILLY MAYS is the Mayor of CWCville. Say it before I sell your fucking PSN!
 '''Chris:''' [''long pause'']
 '''Max:''' Yell it. Yell it as loud as you fucking can.
 '''Chris:''' [''more silence'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, autism mental block. What— What the fuck's wrong with you? What are you doing? Stop that. Put your hands at your sides, soldier.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, I don't want my PSN anymore. Go ahead, sell it on eBay, I don't care.
 '''Max:''' Alright, I'm going to.
 '''Chris:''' Go ahead.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna sell it. And I'm going to give all the money to ED.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

===Medallion, Jizz, or Julie? (18:14-20:40)===
'''Max:''' Chris. Do what I want or I'm not going to send Julie over there, how about that?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' That's a good boy.
 '''Chris:''' No, you're sending Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. If you do what I want. There are two things I want. First, this is the easy one, shout at the top of your lungs: "BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville!" Come on. Do it!
 '''Chris:''' [''in a droning voice''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Louder, you fucking pussy.
 '''Chris:''' [''slightly louder''] BILLY MAYS is the new Mayor of CWCville.
 '''Max:''' Stop saying it in your fucking...dumbass voice, you stupid bitch. I'm not going to send Julie over there if you use that voice again.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighs, raises his voice''] BILLY MAYS IS the new Mayor of CWCville!
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and also say that "Christian Chandler will be thrown in jail! CWCville Jail."
 '''Chris:''' And Christian Chandler will be thrown in CWCville Jail.
 '''Max:''' "Where he will be raped by a bunch of niggers!" Say this one really loud.
 '''Chris:''' Where he will be raped by a bunch of...[[Niggos|niggos]].
 '''Max:''' [''giggling''] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.
 '''Chris:''' [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|Niggers.]]
 '''Max:''' Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [''loudly''] Niggerrrrs.
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Louder.
 '''Chris:''' [[The Boondocks|Don't... Don't trust them new niggers over there!]]
 '''Max:''' No! No, shut up. You ruined that...fucking joke. Now, Chris, I want you to do this for me. Burn. Your. Medallion! Burn it... No, no, no, no, no. [[Mass debate]] on it first, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''voice shaking''] I'd rather just burn it, please...
 '''Max:''' No! You have to mass debate on it, then burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] I can't get a hard one while I'm under a lot of [[stress]]!
 '''Max:''' Well, I know— I know something that will help you get a hard-on. Just [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|think of men's dicks]], that'll probably help.
 '''Chris:''' No!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] Yes!
 '''Chris:''' Just the opposite!
 '''Max:''' Oh yeah, uh— Yeah, men's balls. Sorry, men's balls.
 '''Chris:''' That's not the opposite, I— That's not the opposite, too.
 '''Max:''' You're right. Men's butts.
 '''Chris:''' [''enraged''] THAT IS EVEN WORSE!!!
 '''Max:''' Oh, you're right. Men's faces.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry growling noises'']
 '''Max:''' Those [[The Creepy Stare|persuasive eyes]], they're going to you. Lusting. Lusting for you.
 '''Chris:''' [''screaming''] THEY ARE NOT— YOU ARE NOT DOING ME ANY GOOD!!! I HAVE TO PICTURE A WOMAN!!!
 '''Max:''' You're gonna stick it in your— You're gonna stick in your butt, you're gonna stick in your butt! Oh, oh! What, what, in the butt?!

===Losing the Plot (20:40-22:03)===
'''Max:''' Yeah, whatever, just burn your medallion. But you have to be holding it while you burn it. No, put the medallion right there, where I can see it.
 '''Chris:''' [''pissed off''] I gotta get a match or something.
 '''Max:''' Fine, make sure you light one where I can see it. Now, I want you to put it in your hand, I wanna see you get burned, you fucking dick. I want to see you see you get burned! I wanna see you get a fuckin' third-degree burn. [''screaming''] I WANNA SEE YOU LOSE A FUCKING FINGER!!! Oh, and after— After you, uh— After you, uh, burn it? Shove it up your ass. [''pause''] How does that sound, Chris? Sound like your idea of a good time? [''long pause''] Hey, Chris? [''still silence''] Chris, wait. It's important. Dammit, listen. You can burn the medallion or shove it up your butt: make your choice. [''silence''] Ah, interrogating [[Autism|autistics]], it's so easy. It's so easy, especially with you, Chris. You. Dumb. Fuck. You make it all too easy. [''long pause''] Christian, if you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I am putting it on eBay and not sending Julie over. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Alright there, I guess— Hey, Julie, you're not gettin' the money, because Chris won't answer me.
 '''Max:''' [''the worst girl voice ever''] Oh no!
 '''Max:''' Christian Weston Chandler, listen to me. Listen to me, you fat fucking autistic, before I bust a fucking cap...or something. [[Jerk]]. I mean, you are a jerk.
 '''Chris:''' [''rustling'']

===Wut Wut? (22:03-35:20)===
'''Max:''' Come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. You have five seconds before I fucking send my, uh— You have five seconds before I send Julie fucking back to Europe... 5... 4... 3-2-1— Oh, too late, going back to Europe, oh yeah. Tell me, Chris, I have to tell you one thing first. You have an alternative. Are you ready? Are you listening to me now?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Now, you have an alternative: either burn it ''or'' shove it up your butt. [''mocking''] I hate you. Come on, what are you going to do?
 '''Chris:''' ...I'm going to shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' You're gonna... You're going to shove it up your butt?
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I thought of another alternative...that's just about as good as one or the other.
 '''Max:''' No, I want you to shove it up your butt and take a picture, that's that.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. That's what you have to do now, you said it.
 '''Chris:''' You're going to see this.
 '''Max:''' What are you going to show me? What the— What are you going to show me? No, no, no, no. If you burn it, I will not send Julie over there. You have to shove it up your butt now. Chris, if you burn it, I'll send Julie back to Europe... Don't even. I will send Julie back to Europe. I swear to God on my grandmother. Don't do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] ...I'll shove it up my butt.
 '''Max:''' Alright, shove it up your—
 '''Chris:''' I'm going to shove it up my butt... But I have to divide it.
 '''Max:''' No. Shove it up your butt, the whole thing. The whole thing!
 '''Chris:''' You want me to shove it up my butt, the whole thing?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, and don't— And don't take it out, just shove it up until... Do it in a video.
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rustling'']
 '''Max:''' And make sure you take pictures!
 '''Chris:''' [''more rustling'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, get this! [''laughing'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing'']
 '''Max:''' Actually, Chris— Chris, no, no, no. I decided— Yeah, you can cut it up. Then shove it up your butt. I'm sorry for being so picky. You have to cut it up first. So yeah, you can pull your pants right up.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Uhhh—
 '''Max:''' No, better idea! Burn it, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Just let me cut it.
 '''Max:''' Fine. Cut it into two. Into two halves, then shove it up your butt.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' No, four pieces, four pieces. I didn't know they let autistics had sharp cutting...
 '''Max:''' [''slips into his Massachusetts accent''] Careful now, don't cut your fingah... Oh, you cut your fingah. Dollas! Oh no! Police! Help! How does it feel, Chris, to be destroying something you worked so hard on? How's it feel? Tell me, tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Terrible.
 '''Max:''' How does it feel?
 '''Chris:''' Harsh. Cold.
 '''Max:''' [''mocking''] "Cold."
 '''Chris:''' Heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, ''me''? ''I'm'' heartless?
 '''Chris:''' No. This act, I'm calling it heartless.
 '''Max:''' Oh, you can call me heartless if you want, you can call me any word.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' While you're thinking, this will help. Call me a fuckin' douchebag again as loud as you can.
 '''Chris:''' You fucking douchebag!
 '''Max:''' You suck. You suck...nigger dicks. I have a nigger, you know. I have a nigger friend, you want to suck his dick? I have a black friend, Chris, do you want to suck his dick? Yes or no?
 '''Chris:''' No.
 '''Max:''' Alright, so you said "yes". I'll call him. Hey, Darnell. Darnell, come over here.
 '''Chris:''' No. I said no!
 '''Max:''' This guy wants to suck your dick!
 '''Chris:''' I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' Well, I think Darnell is too, umm— I think he likes you. I think you're gonna have to.
 '''Chris:''' I said— I said— I said NO!!!
 '''Max:''' No you didn't, I— I heard yes. Darnell— Darnell, I think he said "yes". He said "yes", Darnell. Yes.
 '''Chris:''' I said no! I said no!
 '''Max:''' Um, fine, shit all over your butt. Whatever. Darnell's going to watch, though. Darnell likes to watch. Do you want me to shove Darnell out?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing, grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Come on, cut it! Chris, how about this. Also, while you're at it, cut your hand. Cut your own hand.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No, this is bad enough.
 '''Max:''' Why won't you cut your hand? I thought you wanted Julie?
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine, didn't work, you just shove it up your butt. And make sure you take pictures for posterity.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No problem, I've got the camera on.
 '''Max:''' So wait, you're recording this, too?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Oh, God! You're recording it AND you're showing it live? Really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' That is awesome. Make sure you send it to me on [[Skype]].
 '''Chris:''' [''sighing and rattling'']
 '''Max:''' Wait, are you recording it right now?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' OK, so, yeah, we saw you cu— The camera saw you cutting?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Alright, that's...wonderful. [''laughs''] Hey, Chris, one last thing. One last thing before you shove it up your butt. Can you say one thing?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' Say that you love fat cocks up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, system beep''] Can I talk to Julie?
 '''Max:''' After you do this, yes.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my rump?
 '''Max:''' Up your ass, you have to say "up your ass."
 '''Chris:''' Up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Up your ass.
 '''Chris:''' After I shove this up my ass.
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, while you shove it up your ass, scream "Zappin' to the extreme!", okay? You have to do this, or I won't send Julie over, okay? I wanna see you shove it up there, and while you do it, say "Zappin' to the extreme!" I want you to shove every piece in there.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''singing''] I see a [''unintelligible''] of a man. It's a fat manchild, do-do-doo. [''laughing''] Come on, hurry up. Oh, God, it's all up in my face, get it out. Please. Chris, are you really gonna do this, seriously?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, goddammit. Oh, goddammit! Oh, I see brown stains! Did you crap your pants, really?
 '''Chris:''' ...Maybe.
 '''Max:''' No, no, really? Tell me the— Tell me the truth. Did you?
 '''Chris:''' [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Yeah.]]
 '''Max:''' Whatever, just— Just— Yeah, just— Put it in there. And then take pictures of it. Oh...goodness. This is... Just—
Just— Just hurry up, please, just don't make me watch this for too long, please. [''laughing''] [[Family Guy|Insert Rod A into Slot B.]] Do it! Come on. More. More. More. More. More. [''laughing''] More. More. More. As far as you possibly can. More.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' More. More. More. More. Until I can't see it. More. Shove it up. Shove it up, up, up, up, up, up! More! More! MORE!!! Yes, yes. Please! Please, do continue. Oh, I can't wait to see how brown it is when you take it out. Chris! Is your hand stuck!?
 '''Chris:''' [''groan''] I'm tired.
 '''Max:''' No, keep going, you're not gonna fuckin' chicken out.
 '''Chris:''' [''uncomfortable groaning'']
 '''Max:''' How does this make you feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''grunt''] Miserable.
 '''Max:''' How miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Totally miserable.
 '''Max:''' Oh, really?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''Max:''' Well, that's too bad!
 '''Chris:''' [''grunting'']
 '''Max:''' Oh, you sound like [[Wikipedia:Chewbacca|Chewbacca]]'s taking a shit. [''does a Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Chris:''' [''does his own Chewbacca impression'']
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no, no. Just— Just— Just shut up. Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I stop what?
 '''Max:''' I said shut up. Don't— Don't even ruin Chewbacca.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You miserable pile of dick. Err! Oh, God, more. Shove it until I can't see it. Oh, God, poor [[Sonichu]] is going to look like Brownichu.
 '''Troll:''' BLUESPIKE!!! NO. MORE.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Brown-Stain Sonichu, with the power to cha—
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking groaning''] Keep going.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful groaning'']
 '''Troll 2:''' BlueSpike, stop that shit.
 '''Troll 3:''' This is awful.
 '''Max:''' [''background noise of small dog barking and door shutting'']
 '''Chris:''' [''groaning''] It don't wanna go in.
 '''Max:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' It don't wanna go in. In there.
 '''Max:''' Then keep trying. Make some room in there.
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, stop this shit.
 '''Chris:''' [''painful grunt'']
 '''Troll:''' Stop it. Really.
 '''Max:''' Alright, fine. Stop.
 '''Chris:''' Stop?
 '''Max:''' Yeah, sure.
 '''Chris:''' [''groan'']
 '''Max:''' Don't take 'em out, though, I want them to be in there the whole rest of the time I'm talking to you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Alright.
 '''Max:''' Now pull your pants up.
 '''Chris:''' One second.
 '''Troll:''' Blue, let him...
 '''Max:''' Yo, Chris, this is what I strive for. Watching you do this kind of thing is...really disturbing, now that I've seen it. [''laughs'']
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Troll:''' Blue, tell him he can take it out.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, BlueSpike. God ''damn''.
 '''Max:''' [''laughs''] That's so heartless. I made him stop, don't worry.
 '''Chris:''' Be right back. Excuse me.
 '''Max:''' Chris, what the fuck? Seriously, man?
 '''Chris:''' I just want to wash my hands!
 '''Max:''' No, no, no. You can't wash your hands. If you wash your hands, I will not send Julie to Europe.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' You cannot wash your hands.
 '''Chris:''' I can go wash my hands?
 '''Max:''' No, no, I said don't! Don't!
 '''Chris:''' Sound like one thing you say you do, one thing you say you don't.

===Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)===
'''Max:''' How does it feel, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Terrible.
 '''Max:''' Really? How terrible?
 '''Chris:''' Ass-stinkingly terrible.
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch, you know that, for doing this? Whatever. I wonder, what should I make you do next?
 '''Chris:''' No, this is enough.
 '''Max:''' No, no, no, no. You're not the one making the choices.
 '''Chris:''' [''long sigh''] Enough.
 '''Max:''' Chris, how about you, uh... Let's see...what else should you do? Give me a minute to think... Umm...
 '''Chris:''' Please, this is enough. I'm tired, I'm sick—
 '''Max:''' No, no, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit if you feel tired, you're not the one calling the shots, you fucking prick. So shut up and do what I tell you. Okay? Are we clear?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Yeah. Let's see, what shall I make you do? What should I do to you, Chrissy? What should I do to you? So tell me, what do you want to do?
 '''Chris:''' What do ''I'' want to do?
 '''Max:''' Yeah— No, no, no. I mean, what ''could'' you do that might amuse me?
 '''Chris:''' What could I do that might amuse you...?
 '''Max:''' I have a good idea, Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Actually, I just thought of something.
 '''Max:''' No, no. I've thought of something. Take out the medallion and burn it.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I don't— I told you, I can't— I could not find any matches at this time.
 '''Max:''' No, you didn't tell me, and I don't give a shit. You're not the one making the— Go to the store and get some matches then.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Anyway, I've got something for ya. [''sings''] "I'm a little piggy, here's my snout—"
 '''Max:''' No! Shut up, just shut up, just shut the fuck up! [''laughs''] Shut the fuck up! Shut the FUCK up! I have a good idea: burn your house down.
 '''Troll:''' Goddammit, you idiot!
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm not going to burn my house down.
 '''Max:''' Then the PSN is going on eBay. And the money is going to ED. And Julie is not coming.
 '''Chris:''' I just want Julie over here.
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not going to get Julie over there unless you burn your house down.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] If I burn my house down, then we— Then she won't have a place to come ''to''.
 '''Max:''' You have a point, you have a point. Chris, there is something— There is something...
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike. Stop it.

===Getting into Mumble (37:51-47:23)===
'''Max:''' Alright, Chris, I want you to be in the [[Mumble]]. Julie's going to talk to you there, it's important.
 '''Troll:''' Ten points.
 '''Troll:''' Taunting won't help right now, just keep muted.
 '''Troll:''' Augh, BlueSpike...
 '''Chris:''' No, unfortunately I cannot—
 '''Max:''' No, Chris, you have to. No, no, get in there! Get in there! Shut the fuck up and get in there!
 '''Chris:''' I can't get the microphone to work over there, I've tried it—
 '''Max:''' Then use the PSEye, that's the only chance you have.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Get in the fucking Mumble right now, and use your PSN. I'm not— I'm gonna tell Julie. I don't have to tell you anything until she hears your HONEST voice. To make sure it's you.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Fine.
 '''Max:''' Yeah! So get your fuckin' ass in there! Or I'll break it!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah.
 '''Max:''' Oh, what was that? Oh, no. Get the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Eye|PSEye]], get the PSEye...
 '''Chris:''' Hang on, hang on.
 '''Max:''' No, I'm not gonna hang on, motherfucker.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' I'm gonna kick you in the PSEye if you don't shut up.
 '''Chris:''' I'm gonna get the PSEye.
 '''Max:''' You better, or I'm gonna have to drop your ass.
 '''Chris:''' No. Just...sit tight for a bit. I'm gonna get the PSEye. Alright?
 '''Max:''' Fine. Yes. And make sure that it works before you come in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' If I may say one thing, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''Max:''' You're a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' No, I'm just trying to find— I'm just trying to...do a— I've just proven I can do most anything for my true love.
 '''Max:''' Alright, then, get in Mumble.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'm gettin'— Alright, I'm gettin' there. I've just gotta...[''unintelligible'']
 '''Max:''' There we go.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hang on. Get this twist-tie untied here.
 '''Max:''' Gonna kick you in the twist-tie.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, then long silence''] Working on this.
 '''Max:''' What's on the [[TV]], Chris?
 '''Chris:''' I've just turned it on to the [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]], whatever the heck's on now, not gonna watch it, anyway. Alright, I'm tryin' for you— Tryin' to make this work. [''heavy sigh, then more silence''] Walter Grisby, do... I'm testing— I'm trying to test the mike. I'm testing the mike, I got it plugged in.
 '''Max:''' Does it work?
 '''Chris:''' [''snippy''] I'm working on making it work! It's waiting to find hardware. It's waiting to find software for this hardware.
 '''Max:''' Software for the hardware?
 '''Chris:''' Yes. That's what I just said: software for the hardware.
 '''Max:''' Yes...
 '''Chris:''' The hardware's not installed because it cannot find the necessary software.
 '''Max:''' And your microphone doesn't work. And the microphone doesn't work: the ''Hey You, Pikachu!'' mike.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Still didn't hear you, what did you say?
 '''Max:''' And you don't have any other microphone that works?
 '''Chris:''' At this time, I do not.
 '''Max:''' You have to get one. This is something you want to talk to Julie about.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Max:''' Chris? Chris!
 '''Troll:''' BlueSpike, you've gone too far this time.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' What're you doing, taking a dump?
 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] No, I'm trying to turn my chair around so I can [''unintelligible''] on the radio!
 '''Max:''' [''laughing''] You're so fuckin' whiny!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowned out by Max briefly''] ...behind me! It could— It could fall on to me any second!
 '''Max:''' Oh, I hope it does!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''mocking sigh''] What's wrong now, Chrissy?
 '''Chris:''' [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm working on it!]]
 '''Max:''' Hey, Chris, can I tell you something? Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Let me tell you something, I've still got the— I've still got the medal up my ass, so that hurts!
 '''Max:''' I wasn't... I wasn't gonna ask about that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about asking you to burn your [[house]] down. I'm sorry.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' There.
 '''Chris:''' Fine.
 '''Max:''' And I'm sorry for telling you to cut yourself, that's too far. And I sincerely apologize.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Max:''' Apology accepted?
 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes.
 '''Max:''' Good. Cool. Hi, BILLY MAYS here! I'm now the Mayor of CWCville. I took over from that stupid fuck Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Max:''' [''sigh''] C'mon, Chrissy. You are making me mad.
 '''Chris:''' I'm working on it!
 '''Max:''' Well, you're not working fast enough!
 '''Chris:''' Well, I can't help this computer's speed!
 '''Max:''' Do you know how to get the mike working?
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get a mike working!
 '''Max:''' I'm just asking if you know how, or are you just trying?
 '''Chris:''' [''whines''] I'm trying!
 '''Max:''' Great, we're gonna be on a fucking wild goose hunt for the past hour.
 '''Chris:''' Hold on a second.
 '''Max:''' We're gonna be holding on for more seconds than you can count, boy.
 '''Chris:''' I'm trying to get this microphone to work! Wait...
 '''Max:''' Well, what're you going through? Audio Wizard?
 '''Chris:''' I got something working.
 '''Max:''' What would that be?
 '''Chris:''' A mike.
 '''Max:''' So, it's working?
 '''Chris:''' It might be. Hang on. I'll log in to Mumble.
 '''Max:''' Alright. Julie will meet you there. [''suppressed laugh''] Goodbye.

===Julie Unveiled (47:34-End)===
'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm happy you're here. Hi.
 '''Chris:''' Hi, hi, hi. I'm gonna put my earphones on.
 '''Julie:''' Hi.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey!
 '''Julie:''' Um, Chris...
 '''Chris:''' Julie?
 '''Julie:''' There's something I've been trying to tell you for a while...
 '''Chris:''' Yes?
 '''Julie:''' Well, I'm gonna be there tomorrow, and I think it's safe to say that now I can tell you this. With my heartfelt love.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, uh, yes, uh, go ahead and tell me now.
 '''Julie:''' Do you really wanna know?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Julie:''' [''sigh''] I can't, not right now.
 '''Chris:''' C'mon, please?
 '''Julie:''' No. I can't.
 '''Chris:''' Please, Julie, I've just been through a whole lotta mess for you just now.
 '''Julie:''' Why, what happened?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'll say that in private, but lemme hear what you say first. From your heart.
 '''Julie:''' Oooh, this is so hard for me to say.
 '''Chris:''' You love me, don't you?
 '''Julie:''' I do, but there's something else I need to say. I just don't... I just don't know how to do this. I don't know how to tell you this. Can I have a few minutes?
 '''Female Troll:''' Blue, he's not there.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Fuuuuck!
 '''Troll:''' Give him some time.
 '''Julie:''' Chris...
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Yeah, I-I came back now, I won— I wonder what happened there.
 '''Julie:''' I don't know, but this is... Can you talk with the [[fans]] for, like, five minutes? And then I'll tell you, please?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, could you...
 '''Julie:''' Actually, no. No, I'm ready to tell you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Julie:''' This whole time, Chris...you've been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy, you sick fuck!
 '''Chris:''' What?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. I'm a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris, and you've been having sex with me this entire time. I'm gonna give all your fuckin' data to [[Wikipedia:Chris Hansen|Chris Hansen]], you fuckin' [[pedofork]], so you better get the fuck out now—
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:'''—before I report you to the fuckin' feds. Get out.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Now, wait a minute—
 '''BlueSpike:''' I'd hurry.
 '''Chris:''' I did not— I did not know you were a thirteen-year-old.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you did! They're not gonna believe you! They're gonna fuckin' put you away!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Fine, I'll lea—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me, Chris, now— No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait. Now, I'm— Now, I seem to have you in a bit of a vice grip. Now, I'm gonna let you talk, but if you leave, your PSN is going far away.
 '''Chris:''' I'm not leaving now. So, let me guess, you were Max the whole time, weren't you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' And Julie. Yes. Both of them. Both figments of my imagination. They never existed.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] How do you explain...?
 '''BlueSpike:''' There is no Julie. She never existed, Chris. [''whispers''] She died five years ago. Who have you been talking to? A boy! Tell me, Chris. You know, I... Yes, please do speak.
 '''Chris:''' Uh, what do you want me to tell you?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Tell me how you feel about this, that you've been cybering with a thirteen-year-old boy this entire time. Do you like little boys? I think you do.
 '''Chris:''' [''shell-shocked monotone''] I do not.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You drove to Ohio for no reason. It was a trick. I was able to fool you, you dumb man. How does this make you feel? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' How does it feel that I've tricked you? Tell me?
 '''Chris:''' I feel terrible.
 '''BlueSpike:''' All the things that I've taken from you, they're now mine, and you will never receive them back.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' I got many things out of you, I've gotten to get the audio, the video... Now, if you— If you really want your self-dignity... If you truly want your self-dignity to be remained, then you will send me that video of you shoving the medallion up your anus. Or I will tell everyone what you've been doing. And all the fans will believe that you are a pedophile.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, see, the thing is, I was lying, so I hope you've been recording on your end, because I wasn't recording on my end.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, I'm sorry, then, because this is going out. To everyone.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' So, what's it gonna be, Chris? Are you gonna do it again, or am I gonna have to give everything to everyone?
 '''Chris:''' It's kind of hard to do an encore performance at this point.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's unfortunate, Chris. You're going to have to do it.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh''] Fine, how about this. I take a—
 '''BlueSpike:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. Clyde?
 '''Clyde:''' What up?
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes... He finally found out he was - I expected a bit more of a shitstorm - that he's been having sex with a thirteen-year-old boy like a sick fuck.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' And he drove to Ohio for no reason. Chris, tell me, why did you drive to Ohio? Under the idea that you would get...[''mocking kiddie voice''] a [[boyfriend-free girl]]? Should I call Chris Hansen? I think I know his number.
 '''Clyde:''' Hello, hello, Chris. On that trip to Ohio, you had a cell phone. We were calling you, trying to, y'know, give you directions.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you, there was a Julie. There truly is a Julie. But...
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, there is.
 '''BlueSpike:''' There ''was'', but she died.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Clyde:''' Yeah, we'll have to go with the "died" part, she's real— She actually is in Ohio, but...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Let me tell you something, Chris. About the wildfires I told you about, I truly was the one who started them.
 '''Clyde:''' Okay. Now, you're going crazy, okay? We don't have to do the whole wildfire thing...
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, this is going kinda crazy. I mean, you sounded like a thirteen-year-old boy, and Chris kinda fell for that...
 '''Chris:''' I thought— I thought she— I thought...
 '''BlueSpike:''' How do I sound like a girl to you, motherfucker? How do I sound like a girl? Tell me.
 '''Chris:''' You just sound— I know what a woman sounds like! [''explosion of disbelief from all listeners'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, no, no, no, no. Shut the fuck up and let me talk to him. Shut the hell up. And I talked to you in my normal voice, and I can say I'm Julie. I can talk to you in the exactly same voice and I can tell you I'm Max, and you fuckin' believe it. You're dense. You're truly dense, and you don't deserve to live in this fuckin' world. Now tell me, what do you want? Do you want your PSN back?
 '''Chris:''' Yes.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Well, that's too bad, because it's gonna be sold.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, c'mon, please?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, it's gonna be sold.
 '''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris, there's more things, y'know, okay. I ran this whole goddamn operation, look. There's more things to life than your [[PS3]]. Weren't you gonna go outside and have fun, y'know, go outside again?
 '''BlueSpike:''' No, because he thought Julie was real. And he thought she was coming tomorrow, but it was all fake. It was all, all fake.
 '''Clyde:''' I think he knows that. He's not retarded, look...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes he is, he's fuckin' dumb. Now, Chris...
 '''Clyde:''' [''talking over BlueSpike''] Goddamn this operative being a motherfucker Shut the hell up. Christ. Look, Chris. There are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever. Your whole Internet life has been a lie. There are no ''Sonichu'' fans. Nobody gives two shits about you. The best thing you could do is go outside, for the love of God, okay?
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes, Chris, let me tell you something. Are you going to listen?
 '''Chris:''' I'm listening.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Good. I wish to talk to you sometimes on Skype, to get some information out of you, if you will? Yes. Now tell me...
 '''Clyde:''' Shut up, BlueSpike. He's been fooled so many times. What is this, the ninth time so far?
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think it's the tenth, actually.
 '''Clyde:''' Whatever. I mean, you say you learn from your mistakes, but you never seem to. Ever. [''chorus of "JULAAY" from the trolls'']
 '''BlueSpike:''' You disgust me, Chris. Every part of you disgusts me. The way that you pathetically plead for your precious Julie. You disgust me...
 '''Clyde:''' And your PlayStation Network account, that's pretty sad.
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah. "Gimme back my account, you fucking dick!"
 '''Clyde:''' Look, Chris, you can appeal to your— What's left of your fans, at least...
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think he's crying. Why don't we just let the baby cry?
 '''Chris:''' I'm not crying!
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yes you are, you pathetic fuck.
 '''Chris:''' I am not!
 '''Clyde:''' Okay, BlueSpike, BlueSpike. You're a little too mean... Well, whatever.
 '''BlueSpike:''' You're right. If I may inform you, Chris. I know you may have been told this before, but how does it feel to know that this is your entire fanbase?
 '''Clyde:''' That is true, but there's also... Oh, yeah, that's hilarious! [[Anna]], by the way, is not a lesbian. She's just...
 '''BlueSpike:''' Yeah, the lesbian loves the dick. She just doesn't want yours. Every girl so far, every girl has been a troll. We tried to tell you this. And then we just got sick of it...
 '''Clyde:''' You know how many people have told you this, that BlueSpike is a boy? I can't believe how many times... And you still believed...
 '''BlueSpike:''' [''mocking''] "I believe you, because I've heard your [[honest]] and true voice!"
 '''Chris:''' [''Sigh''] Goodbye.
 '''BlueSpike:''' I think we hurt him pretty bad.
 '''Troll:''' Well, we kind of completely blew Chris's mind right there.
 '''Female Troll:''' Can I...stop the recording now?
 [''Trolls chatter over each other, one troll quoting the old [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem|''Duke Nukem'']] meme "Balls, Balls, Balls".'']
 '''Female Troll:''' Stop, stop, stop, stop... Can I stop recording?
 [''Chorus of "Yes" from the trolls. Tape runs out.'']

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?75fhxy3n9yc1662 MP3 of the audio.]
*[http://db.tt/iDXSR3LV Mirror of MP3]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq9Lepe1xjs Youtube upload]
{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]][[Category: Julie Saga]]

Toucher and Rich Segment

2012-06-28T07:59:04Z

Lime: Adding link and category.

[[Image:BaronHarkonnen.jpg|thumb|Chris in "the David Lynch movie of your nightmares."]]

[[Chris]]'s 1 [[May 2009]] video [[For My Sweetest Ivy]] was the focus of a segment of '''''[[Wikipedia:The Toucher and Rich Show|The Toucher and Rich Show]]''''', a Boston-area radio show, that aired on 12 [[May 2009]]. There are some details that the hosts of the show get wrong, like the apparent confusion of [[Ivy]] with [[Megan]], but this is understandable given that their knowledge of him is mostly second-hand.

This is one of the rare discussions of Chris in the mainstream and not by [[trolls|obsessives]] on the [[Internet]]. Notice that no matter how much the hosts try to warp Chris's voice, the original is still the most disturbing.

==Transcript==
'''Toucher:''' Sometimes you don't realize how big something's getting on the internet. We are Toucher and Rich -- Rich Shertenlieb, Crash Clark, Adolfo Gonzalez. My name is Fred Toettcher. Two ways to get involved with the show. Please feel free to instant feedback -- go to WBCN.com and click on "Instant Feedback," or give us a call at 617-931-1041. Here is the deal: we got sent a e-mail from a guy who said, "Look at, this is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a really long time. What the F is up with this guy?" And he was the guy, do you have "I Got A Fish?"

'''Rich:''' I got it right here, yeah. [''Plays clip from "[[I Got A Fish]]:"'']

:'''Chris:''' I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fish! Would ya like to make a wish? I got a fiiiiiiiiish! Would ya like to make a wish? 

'''Toucher:''' And he is a grown man who is standing in a [[Chris's room|room]] full of [[toys]], and he is saying things, uh, this is him describing, do you have the description of what he likes, the spanking, he's kind of describing--

'''Rich:''' Oh no, I don't have that. Do, do some of it.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, basically he's describing how he likes, uh, there's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|pictures of him]] that have been leaked on the internet wearing [[Butt garments|adult diapers]], uh, he likes being spanked, and that's because [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_April_28th,_2009|that's what adults do]]. Adults like feeling pleasure, uh, out of pain.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, he is a disturbing young man. And I've been sent since then a bunch of links about this guy. And you know what, I don't remember his name and I don't care to; you'll be able to find him, don't worry about it. [''Laughs''] But, uh, he's got a million videos up on the internet, and he also apparently has a [[comic]] book that he draws and puts up on the internet--

'''Rich:''' Oh boy.

'''Toucher:''' --which is, I don't even want to get into, but which I, which I, from what I, if what I read is true, it's [[Sonichu 10|horribly disturbing]]. So anyway, he's kind of this manchild, he, uh, wears glasses, he looks a little bit like, for lack of a better description, [[Wikipedia:Phillip Seymour Hoffman|Phillip Seymour Hoffman]], almost? Like if he was playing a deranged guy. [''Laughs'']

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs.''] Right.

'''Toucher:''' Alright. So anyway, so from what I've read, there's a whole big, like, there's something that's, uh, that's like Wipi-[[Wikipedia]], but it's like "[[ED|Crapipedia]]" or something? [''Rich laughs.''] There's this big page about this guy, and I don't know if it's true or not, but they reference that [[JERKS|he hates all men]] because they, uh, have all the girls, all the girls he meets have girlfriends[sic], but there was one girl that he was friends with, that he fell madly in love with, and I guess that this is a, uh, an ode to her.

'''Rich:''' It is. Now, in this video, unlike in the other one where he's just sitting down wearing his, like, flannel shirt, like, looking at the camera, he is standing up, he's extremely excited, you can tell because he's kind of bobbling from side to side, and he's wearing his normal outfit except on top of it a blazer. 'Cause he wants to look proper.

'''Toucher:''' And he is nonchalantly holding his, uh, remote control. He always has a [[video game]] remote control on him. And once again, in his bedroom, with the toys and drawings and the cartoons.

'''Rich:''' And here you go.

'''Toucher:''' He's obsessed with [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], too, from what I've read. And if I failed to mention it yet, he's probably close to forty. [''Plays clip from "[[For My Sweetest Ivy]]"'']

:'''Chris:''' Hey Ivy! I'm doing this video for yoooou. Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together! Hmmm!

'''Toucher:''' Yeah right, dude! [''Rich laughs.''] Dude, dude, dude, enjoy, put the Nightmare Machine on, ladies and gentlemen. [''Plays a clip from "[[Wikipedia:Goodbye Horses|Goodbye Horses]]," alluding to the Buffalo Bill dance scene in [[Wikipedia:The Silence of the Lambs|The Silence of the Lambs]].''] I hope that you're not half-asleep with the snooze button listening to this guy, 'cause, welcome to the [[Wikipedia:David Lynch|David Lynch]] movie of your nightmares!

'''Rich:''' If I saw this in a David Lynch movie, I would say, like, "Alright, David Lynch is trying way too hard. Now he's like, making up stuff, that, this is too weird." [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' You know, [[Barbara|my mommy]] and I--my, my family and I will come and meet you at the airport. And you know, your choice so--take you to your hotel or, uh, bring you back to...my house, hmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Ooh. These little-- [''Replays and imitates Chris's whimper and laughs, then plays the "Goodbye Horses" clip again, adding Chris saying "Back to... my house" and "My mommy and I" with his voice digitally lowered.'']

'''Rich(?):''' "My mommy and me..." [''Plays stinger music'']

'''Toucher:''' Even when adult women say "mommy" it's freaky--

'''Rich:''' [''Laughing''] I know.

'''Toucher:''' --let alone an adult man talking to somebody he, uh, obviously wants a relationship with. Ai-yai-yai. I hope you've had that cup of coffee, ladies and gentlemen, because [''Laughs''] it only gets worse. [''Continues clip.'']

:'''Chris:''' I mean, uh, you know, we'd be hanging around so much and sharing so many fondful memories. Hmm. And you know, I few--I know a few good places in [[Charlottesville]], you know, I think it's, you know, I'll take you there, we'll get some good things to eeeeeat, and we’ll hang ooouut. We’ll have so much fun. I know a place that serves some great smoothies. And you know, we can enjoy a movie in the theater, or in--at home, or watch a television rerun. ''[[Family Guy]]''! Heh.

'''Toucher:''' "''Family Guy''!" [''They laugh and play the stinger music again.''] Tony, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Tony:''' Oh my God, two hundred years ago, this guy would have been ostracized out of a village or a town or something like that. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.''] I mean, he ''really'' needs to be around normal humans.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I guess there are videos, I've been told, where [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview|his ''mother'' appears]], like--

'''Rich:''' No!

'''Toucher:''' --comes into the room while he's filming 'em.

'''Rich:''' Oh man.

'''Toucher:''' Yeah, I mean, there's a, you could spend a good, uh, horrifying evening, [''Rich laughs''] if you wanted to go, like, out to the old haunted house and play these things, you could probably do it for a couple of hours. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' ''Family Guy''! Or, uh, ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', or I got some—I got the entire series of ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', hmmm. Hoo-hoo! Hmm, and we can make some music together... on ''[[Guitar Hero]]''. Hmmm. Well, you can sing, I got a microphone. I'm thinking about getting drums. [''Makes a drum sound.''] Hm, yeah. And you know, I will see you in the--I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our [[sex]] time together.

'''Toucher:''' Aaaauugghhaaaaoooo! [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again''] I'm going to guess it never happened. [''Rich laughs.''] I'm going to guess that the lady saw this video and maybe thought-- [''Replays clip of Chris saying, "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Rich:''' Oough.

'''Toucher:''' Alan, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Alan:''' Hey, guys, hey!

'''Toucher and Rich:''' Hey!

'''Alan:''' Um, make sure you save that videotape; [[jerkops|the FBI]] will want it for evidence.

'''Toucher:''' I have a feeling that, if all this is real, that, uh, there are [[Private_Villa_of_Corrupted_Citizens_(message_board)|several]] [[CWCki|organizations]] that are just keeping an eye on the, uh, the doings of this gentleman.

'''Rich:''' Yeah, the creepiest thing is that he, first of all, he talks like a little kid, like, "my mommy," and then in his first video, he was saying, because that's what adults do sometimes, like he's talking and addressing children.

'''Toucher:''' But I g--, this woman is an adult from what I've read, that he's addressing.

'''Rich:''' Oh, oh, maybe, maybe it is, maybe it is, but the other videos that he's made, it just seems like--

'''Toucher:''' He's very child-like and maybe he was relating to someone on a child-like level.

'''Rich:''' Right.

'''Toucher:''' That is a, that is an assumption. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll, I'll do my best to pleasure you and keep you satisfied, my sweetest Ivy, just for you. Just for you! Hmmm!

[''Rich laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Who did you save all this skin for? [''Plays clip of "Goodbye Horses" again, adding Chris saying "Just for you!" three times, with the first iteration digitally lowered.''] Why is this dog-cage all set up? [''Repeats digitally-lowered "Just for you!" and adds the "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together."'']

'''Toucher:''' I mean, you don't even have to play it slow, you don't have to do anything, this is like a night-- I've never gone through the whole video, it's, it's so disturbing to me. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' I know a number of good positions and massages, hmm. Hmmm. And, you know, I know a number, uh, places we could walk around at, you know. We could walk about the mall!

'''Toucher:''' Ooh!

:'''Chris:''' We could walk about the UVA grounds! Good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight. Hmmmm, so, you know, wonderful memories! Wonderful memories! We're gonna have lots of fun. And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always. Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. [''Sound of disgust from one of the hosts''] I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch! Hmmmm.

'''Toucher:''' Oulbggh!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] Oh yeah!

'''Crash:''' It's making chills!

'''Rich:''' [''Laughs''] I know!

'''Crash:''' The chil-- he's a witch! [''Replays a slowed-down "Being a good boy just for you, Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so muuuuch!" and adds "Just for you!" and a slowed-down "Look at me smile" at the end.'']

'''Toucher:''' [''Laughing''] "Look at me smile!" [''Replays "I know a number of good positions and massages."''] Ohhhh. [''Continues clip'']

:'''Chris:''' Hmmm, look at me smile, hmm. It's a nice smile. Because I love you, Ivy! I love you so much. I ran out of details. I don't know. I guess I'll sing you a song.

'''Toucher:''' No!

:'''Chris:''' It's a jolly ‘oliday With Ivy Ivy makes my heart so light When the skies are grey And ordinary Ivy makes the sun shine bright. It's a jolly holiday with Ivy No wonder that it's Ivy that I love. I love you so much Ivy. I love you! I love youuu. [''Blows a kiss to the camera.''] Talk to you later, sweetheart. And also to your [[officer Keino|father the policeman]], I salute him with my Cub Scout salute.

'''Toucher:''' Ohhhhhhh ohh. [''Rich laughs.''] [''Plays circus music to "I look forward to the eventuality of, uh, you and me having our sex time together," "Oh, we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together!" and "Just for you!"'']

'''Toucher:''' I'm just hoping that they wouldn't let this guy on an airplane. Laura, you're on Toucher and Rich.

'''Laura:''' Thanks a lot for making me have a new really colorful character for my nightmares. [''Toucher and Rich laugh.'']

'''Toucher:''' E-especially for a woman.

'''Laura:''' I'm just gonna sleep with the light on for the rest of my life, now.

'''Toucher:''' Yes, indeed!

'''Laura:''' Oh my God!

'''Toucher:''' We should make a, we should make tapes of these specifically for certain people, just replace "Ivy" with "Laura"-- [''Replays "We can make some music together on ''Guitar Hero''" and "And I promise, I’ll remain your good boy forever and for always." while everyone laughs.'']

'''Toucher:''' Well, Rich is obviously from a conservative Catholic family and, uh, something happened over the weekend that maybe made them think he was a little bit of a psycho.

[''Segment ends.'']

==Chris's response==
Troll goddess [[Vivian Gee]] saw fit to inform Chris about his radio presence via e-mail. Needless to say, Chris was less than receptive.
{{Email|<nowiki>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5a7HN0pa0w&feature=related</nowiki>

This was part of a radio show from a few months ago. It resurfaced recently and I had a listen.

If you wonder why this applies to you: skip to 7:00.

A woman comments about how YOU will be part of her nightmares now.

This is what normal people, not trolls, think of you. If you really think it's just trolls who have formed a bad opinion of you, think again. Just letting you know.}}
{{EmailReply|Well, I never asked for a reputation.‏

This WHOLE WORLD is becoming [[autistic]] by gluing ALL of their attention
to computers, [[internet]] and all that. I am a REAL LIFE MAN, and while I
do not appreciate or care much of the "reputation" that has been made
against me on the crappy internet, the TRUE Reputation I would call my
own is in REAL LIFE and from ACTUALLY HANGING OUT WITH ME IN PERSON.

Feel Free to Spread this Quote from me, "If you REALLY want to make a
Reputation Of Me, then Hang Out With Me In Real Life. Quit hiding
behind your F***ing Computers and "[[4-cent_garbage.com|Anonymous]]" Bu**S***."

Nobody is Perfect. But I AM a Good Person, and I do not have to be recorded to prove it.

Peace,
Christian.}}

Needless to say, the quote Chris manufactured for himself wasn't spread.

==See also==
*[[The Kevin and Bean Show Segment]]

==External links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?vpk4uuca66b8i6y Audio download]

[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2012-06-28T07:49:41Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]] ([[Solid Chris]]) mostly consists of him trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Chris loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Chris' behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Chris responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Chris only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Chris is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Chris begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Chris states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Chris declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Chris of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Chris is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Chris doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Chris whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Chris to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' [[Kim]] and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/?08ro202hlz9pzlk the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2012-06-28T07:44:20Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth call between Chris and Alec, which took place 25 February 2010.

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in issue 10, given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and Sonichu Revolution comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything O.K. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your shitty comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "Sandy", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[ego]].

Chris-chan's Love Day is brought up. Chris denies ripping off ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND he says that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right." When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a dumb ass cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question like a drunken retard ([[Alcohol|how fitting]]).

Chris also admits he likes it when people kiss his ass, which has been [[Ego|kind of obvious]] for a long time. He then proves he knows nothing of Christianity ([[Religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits he believes Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not O.K. to [[parody]] a parody (it's as retarded as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]].

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|_Ae7T05cIJQ}}
| Stardate = 25 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec. I was not...

'''Alec:''' Hey, Happy birthday!

'''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah.

'''Chris:''' So, thank you.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

'''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

'''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set- in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

'''Alec:''' Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

'''Alec:''' Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out. I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

'''Alec:'''But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

'''Alec:''' Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

'''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

'''Alec:''' Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

'''Alec:''' [''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

'''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...

'''Alec:''' [''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

'''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

'''Alec:''' Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

'''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

'''Alec:''' Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

'''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

'''Alec:''' No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

'''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like...

'''Alec:''' [''shouting over Chris''] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

'''Chris:''' Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

'''Alec:''' HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

'''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

'''Alec:''' Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

'''Alec:''' NOT YOUR CHARACTER. Not, no, Simonla was not your character. She was Evan's.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

'''Alec:''' "Yeah, but anyway"?

'''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

'''Alec:''' You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

'''Alec:''' You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

'''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

'''Alec:''' What, what abuse did you get from him?

'''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

'''Alec:''' Like how?

'''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

'''Alec:''' He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

'''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sic his lawyers on me...

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

'''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

'''Alec:''' Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

'''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

'''Alec:''' Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is is [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like Simonla's daughter?

'''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

'''Alec:''' How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

'''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

'''Alec:''' She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which by corollary makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

'''Alec:''' You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

'''Alec:''' She originates from Simonla.

'''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

'''Alec:''' From Simonla.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

'''Alec:''' You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

'''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

'''Alec:''' Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

'''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

'''Alec:''' Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

'''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

'''Alec:''' You just said that...

'''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

'''Alec:''' Why? So she's child labor?

'''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

'''Alec:''' Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

'''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

'''Alec:''' But you killed Simonla.

'''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

'''Alec:''' That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

'''Alec:''' Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

'''Alec:''' Oh! Really.

'''Chris:''' Without their consent.

'''Alec:''' Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

'''Alec:''' So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

'''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

'''Alec:''' Well, then, why do you...

'''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

'''Alec:''' When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

'''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

'''Alec:''' Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

'''Alec:''' I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

'''Alec:''' If I remember right...

'''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

'''Alec:''' Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

'''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

'''Alec:''' Okay? Okay what?

'''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

'''Alec:''' You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

'''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

'''Alec:''' You still think that you're better than everyone else.

'''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

'''Alec:''' Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

'''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

'''Alec:''' So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

'''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

'''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

'''Alec:''' You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

'''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

'''Alec:''' You have no response, do you?

'''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes my mind's a little slow.

'''Alec:''' You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

'''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your [[Christian Love Day]] video?

'''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

'''Alec:''' What stand?

'''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

'''Alec:''' You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You took that speech from...

'''Chris:''' I did not take...

'''Alec:''' Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

'''Alec:''' So you can't even write your own speech?

'''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

'''Alec:''' Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

'''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. They should be equally important holidays in America.

'''Alec:''' It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

'''Alec:''' You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

'''Alec:''' Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

'''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

'''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

'''Alec:''' It can be better?! It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

'''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

'''Alec:''' Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16 I think?

'''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Messicans in America.

'''Alec:''' And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

'''Alec:''' Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

'''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

'''Alec:''' It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

'''Alec:''' Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

'''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

'''Alec:''' Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

'''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "it feels right"?

'''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

'''Alec:'''Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

'''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

'''Alec:''' But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about your ego.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote ego.

'''Alec:''' What, what more could it be?

'''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

'''Alec:''' Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay well...

'''Alec:''' Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

'''Chris:''' And another thing...

'''Alec:''' What, what other thing?

'''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

'''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

'''Alec:''' You brutally killed me.

'''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

'''Alec:''' Sexually ex-

'''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

'''Alec:''' Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a dildo and a sports bra as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

'''Alec:''' Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

'''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

'''Alec:''' Did you like it?

'''Chris:''' It was okay.

'''Alec:''' You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Well, they did.

'''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

'''Alec:''' Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

'''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

'''Alec: ''' No, it was the governor.

'''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

'''Alec:''' Sarah P-A-L-I-N, actually.

'''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

'''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

'''Alec:''' Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

'''Chris:''' Oh.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

'''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

'''Alec:''' It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

'''Alec:''' Why can't you learn to deal with...

'''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

'''Alec:''' What constant abuse?

'''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

'''Alec:''' Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|hypnotize people into hating Asperchu]]? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you cursed me with the death threats?

'''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

'''Alec:''' No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you claim to be a Christian, this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

'''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

'''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

'''Alec:''' No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

'''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

'''Alec:''' Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

'''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's...

'''Alec:''' [''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

'''Alec:''' But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla. Admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

'''Chris:''' Not, no, not, no, they actually happened.

'''Alec:''' Yes, they happened, Chris, but your responses were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to be all, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''Robot Chicken''.

'''Alec:''' I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

'''Alec:''' Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

'''Alec:''' Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

'''Chris:''' It's not very good.

'''Alec:''' Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

'''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

'''Alec:''' You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

'''Chris:''' I don't mind, I don't mind gore, up to a certain point.

'''Alec:''' Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

'''Alec:''' Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

'''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

'''Alec:''' Yeah?

'''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

'''Alec:''' Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was meant to be a funny parody. See, I don't take myself completely, I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

'''Alec:''' So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

'''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

'''Alec:''' Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

'''Alec:''' Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably-

'''Chris:''' [''burps'']

'''Alec:''' -See that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10 I will be making less appearances in the book, in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

'''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

'''Alec:''' Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

'''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

'''Alec:''' Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

'''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

'''Alec:''' You said you had like 30 pages.

'''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

'''Alec:''' But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So you went back on your word again.

'''Chris:''' [''angry''] Well, I overestimated myself!

'''Alec:''' What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to be Photoshopped.

'''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

'''Alec:''' You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

'''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

'''Alec:''' Of course you had...

'''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

'''Alec:''' Sonichu is your job, Chris!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

'''Alec:''' Well, you intend to make your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he is your job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

'''Alec:''' Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

'''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

'''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

'''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

'''Alec:''' What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

'''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec:'''I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

'''Alec:''' And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

'''Alec:''' Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

'''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

'''Chris:''' [''another sigh'']

'''Alec:''' You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-

[''Call cuts off'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=Current|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?9bqt25j5tzifcyf The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ae7T05cIJQ YouTube Version: Part 1]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2012-06-28T07:43:35Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and the second to last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==
Alec calls Chris, at the latter's request, to discuss the inclusion of [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] in the [[CWCipedia]] ad space. Chris, naturally, wants the pages taken down, but Alec explains the many ways in which Chris reneged on their earlier agreement concerning the removal of Asperpedia's ads. From there, the conversation spirals out into a lengthy discussion of Chris's laziness, hypocrisy, bigotry, and dishonesty, until [[stress]] finally overwhelms him and he refuses to continue.

Some of Chris's strangest psychological issues find prominent display here. For instance, his difficulty accepting the fact that his fictional characters are exactly that - fictional - leads to a bizarre passage where Alec is able to swamp him with guilt regarding the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It takes several minutes for Chris to come up with a partial admission that his characters don't actually have a life of their own. Chris's repetition of the idiom "killing people left and right" suggests a very minor [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]]. Chris likes idioms.

Chris's fear of [[homos]]exuals seems to remain in effect, despite his recent claims of a change of heart on the subject. While at one point Chris says he now "sees them in a more positive light," he apparently still wants to see all the homos vaccinated and turned into decent, honest straight people. Chris claims that this will save them from going to hell, but he's unable to cite any scriptural or other basis for this belief. Alec points out that Chris is unfairly stereotyping homosexuals in the same way other people might stereotype autistics, a point that was likely lost on Chris two or three minutes after Alec made it.

On more everyday topics, Chris claims to be spending some time lately cleaning up his family's [[14 Branchland Court|disaster area of a house]], although there's as yet no corroborating evidence to confirm this. Of course, he describes simple household maintenance tasks in tones most people usually reserve for the torments of the damned. He also claims to have some 30 pages of his comic in the works for publication on his birthday, February 24, but can't come up with a decent explanation for why he wouldn't upload at least some of those pages sooner and maintain a more regular update schedule. (In the end, he managed to upload only 20 of the promised pages, and they arrived a day late.)

Eventually, just as in their [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|previous phone call]], Alec's comments become ever-so-slightly pointed, which is enough to drive Chris into a full-speed retreat. He manages to muster a polite goodbye instead of simply hanging up, but he is clearly in no mood to face any more harsh reality.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|UxfkNdoV3fM}}
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Hi Alec.

'''Alec:''' So uh, [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec, but Alec wins''] I got your e-mail, uh, looks like you want to talk. What's, uh, what's up?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, uh, just to let you know that I'm uh, that I'm in the middle of dinner right now so we'll have to make this short. But, ahh, yeah, I am a bit, uh, concerned that you have continued with the, ahh, oversized ads on the [[CWCipedia]]... I mean those- the smaller banner ads- that was that was okay. I would have accepted that- I would have accepted that on a daily basis. But, no, you had to add- you had to go and... [''Alec begins to talk over Chris'']

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' add-

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' a whole-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' page-

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Alec:''' You asked me to call you... *right* at 9:30 and when I do, you're [[obesity|eating dinner?]]

[''Alec sounds understandably annoyed.'']

'''Chris:''' Well, I wasn't sure, because I'm...

'''Alec:''' What are you eating?

'''Chris:''' I'm having some chicken.

'''Alec:''' I- ugh. Chris, [[Chris and his ego|if you're going to ask someone to go out of their way for you for something you should probably... actually allow them to do so and not act like you are inconvenienced when they do.]] That's just a suggestion. But I-

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' But I- well... I-I-I think [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec for this whole sentence''] maybe, if you actually want to have a serious discussion- that's why I called... but... maybe let the chicken wait until we're done with our call, how about that? Cuz' I don't like calling you only to hear that you have something else to do even though this is the exact time you told me to call.

'''Chris:''' Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' So. So. So, why don't we have our talk, and maybe the chicken will get cold, but you can microwave it when we're done.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So we had the understanding that we were not going to go back to the oversize ads again.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Okay, well, I can explain that. Do you remember how I told you that if you met my requirements exactly, I would remove the ads, but if you failed to meet my requirements, the ads would get worse? Do you remember when I said that to you?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes...I...that...

'''Alec:''' So you failed to meet my requirements. You did meet Evan's requirements, apparently. Evan is happy with you, and I'm proud of you for doing that, because Evan is, he's satisfied that you killed Simonla. However, I am not Evan, and I had different requirements than Evan.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, why are you not satisfied?

'''Alec:''' Mm. Well, there's a few reasons. First and foremost, you did not state all of the things that I told you to in your apology video. Like how Sonichu cannot make money in its current form and is a doomed franchise and you will need to start over with something original. You made no mention of that. Already. Next, your last apology video was... Well, "insincere" is kind of too lenient, if I called it that. It was just, it was just insulting. I mean, you obviously felt absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Even though you swore up and down to me when I talked to you that you did. But I'm pretty sure you just wanted to finish the phone call, and you thought that you could just read things off a list and that would please me. Oh, and then you hung up on me, I think like five or six times.

'''Chris:''' And I did, the last one I did apologize for that in the e-mail I sent you.

'''Alec:''' Um, but you hung up on me multiple times. Chris, I think that you believe, I think you believe that if you do something wrong and then you offer a superficial apology, you believe that gives you license to just do it all over again. You know, that's not what apology is about, right?

'''Chris:''' That is not what apologies are about.

'''Alec:''' Okay. And the reason you hung up on me is because you were trying to avoid me. You were trying to just brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I will admit that, the last one, and I apologize for that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. So, if you want that apology to mean anything, then in the future, including this call, and if we talk again, you are actually going to have to stick to that word and not ever again attempt to brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' That make sense? Now. Let's talk about those ads for a bit. If you notice, they really aren't ads for Asperpedia anymore. What I started, I started a new comic, called [[Sonichu Revolution]]. And that's actually what I'm using the adspace for. And what Sonichu Revolution is, it's actually, it's like a reboot of Sonichu, see, since you aren't uploading pages I thought I would do a nice thing for your fans and use my ad space to keep your fans happy.

'''Chris:''' [''has been trying to interrupt''] Well, no, I am, I am doing the pages now. Listen, your comic pages, they should, they should stay on your website, your website alone. I do not want your pages on my website that only shows my pages.

'''Alec:''' Oh, it's kinda too bad that I bought ad space on your website, when I gave you multiple opportunities to get out of me having web space, er, ad space on your website. You didn't take them. I can do what I want with my ad space.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' How many times did I, was I gracious enough to give you an extremely easy way out of all of this?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, not sure. Define, define "easy."

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, by "easy" I mean, how many times did I lay out a very clear, very specific set of requirements that I had of you, and where I promised that if you followed those requirements, exactly, then I would remove all my ads and I would do my best to stop Evan from, you know, attempting to sue you. Evan's, you know, in the past, he's happy now, but my ads are still an issue. And you know, I asked you to be sincere about the apology, which you never were.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, just to let you know, okay, well, I understand for, yes, uh, you did offer me with, you did tell me very descriptively, very detailed-ly, what you wanted, a number of times. I'm gonna est-, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna estimate like about five to 10 times at this point. Because we have not talked over the phone that much. For maybe 20, or 20 minutes, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, we've talked... Well, it's not quite that high. I think three or four times I specifically laid everything out for you.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, well, okay, at this point, yeah. An overbid is a good estimate.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Alright, I'll give you that one. So yeah, multiple times I gave you opportunities to, you know, to handle the situation and to come out scot-free. And, if I remember correctly, I did talk about how you are the luckiest person in the world, to have competition like me, who would be so generous and go out of his way to help his competition. I mean, a lot of other companies would have just blown you out of the water and not thought twice about it. But, you know, I like Sonichu, or I used to like it, back when you actually updated it, and I know that it does have some fans still and I wanted to see it continue. Because I don't want to just take over everything. I don't want to be the only artist out there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That's not fun. You kind of want to be the only artist in existence, I don't know why you want that. Why do you want that, anyway? Why do you not want other artists to exist?

'''Chris:''' Um, I never said, I never said that I did not want other artists to...

'''Alec:''' Well, you said it with your actions, if not with words directly.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, maybe...

'''Alec:''' I think we talked about that one time. Actions are louder than words, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, perhaps my actions were misunderstood in this case...

'''Alec:''' Ooh, not misunderstood in the least! Oh, no, your actions are very clear. You slandered and smeared me as much as you possibly could. You put all of your effort into trashing me rather than building up your own comic. There's... If you can convince me there's some way to misunderstand that, then you know, by all means try, but as far as I could see that was a pretty clear message. It's hard to misunderstand that, it's hard to misunderstand, you know, you repeatedly hanging up on me.

'''Barbara:''' [''Distant background''] Who are you on the phone with? [''She continues to occasionally make background noise'']

'''Chris:''' I know, I...

'''Alec:''' You've been out of commission for like three weeks, you haven't done shit for your fans. When are you going to come back with your comic?

'''Chris:''' I, I am, I, I still, I am, I have been working on my comic, for your information. I am up to pages in book number 11 where I have drawn that far, and I'm about halfway colored through all those pages which I drew up.

'''Alec:''' How many pages is that?

'''Chris:''' That's over 30 now.

'''Alec:''' Over 30. Really. How many days since you started that particular 30 pages. Has it been, like, what, two weeks? 15 days, around there?

'''Chris:''' Around there.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uh... I'm not really sure if asking this is going to be useful, but why would you partially complete 30 pages instead of, say, completing and uploading 20 pages? Or 25?

'''Chris:''' That would hap-, that would happen to make up for lost time on on my birthday, which is this coming, which is the next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what about your birthday? What are you going to do with it?

'''Chris:''' I'm going to upload all those, all those, all those pages, all the main pages in a bundle, in a bunch, on my birthday, which is next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, until then I think I'll just keep uploading Sonichu Revolution, because I want to please your fans, even if you don't. Chris, why, why would you...

'''Chris:''' I gave my new, I put up a new page yesterday as well. The last page I had...

'''Alec:''' So that... That, yep, I saw that, actually, that one page, plus I think you had two pages where you killed Simonla, so that's three pages total in like three weeks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, anyways...

'''Alec:''' I do two pages a day. That means I've uploaded, in the past 15 days I've uploaded 30 pages of my own. And it's... When's your birthday, like eight days from now? So I'll have another 16 pages up, so that's 46 pages...

'''Chris:''' Well, you are, you are mistaken, we're not talking about, we're not talking about eight days, my birthday is on the 24th. Of February.

'''Alec:''' Oh. My mistake. So six days. Well, I'll have 12 new pages by then. In addition to the 30 I've already uploaded.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, I didn't know when your birthday was.

'''Chris:''' Well, it's specifically stated on the, on my bio page on the CWCipedia, and in a couple other places. The 24th of February. 1982.

'''Alec:''' Hey, Chris. Chris. When is my birthday?

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I do not study your bio, I did not study your bio page...

'''Alec:''' Well, Chris, Chris, it's on my bio page on the Asperpedia. Why wouldn't you know it?

'''Chris:''' Well, I did not make an effort to study you, because...

'''Alec:''' I mean, if I'm supposed to know your page, don't you know mine? Chris, I'm kinda hurt.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I apologize for that, and after we're done here I'll go to your bio page and learn, and learn with my mind when your birthday is.

'''Alec:''' Nah, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it. I'd rather you work on pages than go look up info about me. Because, you know, I actually don't know your birthday because I've been working on my pages rather than, you know, looking up your bio. Um, yeah, so, I do really have to recommend that you, um, begin uploading those 30 pages immediately. Like as soon as we're done with the call or whatever. It, just, get to work on it. Stay up all night if you have to. Get those pages up. Because, here's the thing about the way fans work. If you leave your fans in the dark for a week or two weeks or a month or however long, it really doesn't matter if you're partially completing something. Because if you don't put out any product, then your fans have nothing to work with. Have you ever heard of the game [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem Forever|Duke Nukem Forever]]?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, you said Duke Nukem Forever?

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Well, you know the Duke Nukem video games? You ever played any of those?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I have seen, I have seen samples of that game.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Well, the company that made those, they were working on a game called Duke Nukem Forever. That was going to be their next great title. And they were working on that for actually about 15 years. And they kept promising, "Oh, you know, we've got the engine built, we've got the characters designed, we've got all this built, all that's left is for us to release it." And they never released it because they kept retooling and tinkering with it. And finally the company actually went out of business. So now there won't ever be any other Duke Nukems. And if you keep doing the same thing, Sonichu is going to go out of business. Well, not permanently, because I have Sonichu Revolution, so it'll live on in some form.

'''Chris:''' Well, yes, well, your, yes, well, still, your Rev-, your Revolutions are not the original, are not the original Sonichu pages, of which only I can draw up and tell.

'''Alec:''' But what they are is existent. And the fans appreciate that. Your pages are nonexistent.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And if you stop Sonichu, then, you know, the fans are going to want something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I get, well, don't worry, you will see, you will see, all those pages, and the completion of the 10th book.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, does this mean...

'''Chris:''' In fact, it's a...

'''Alec:''' I'm a little, I'm a little confused, how, what, do you remember when I told you... Well, of course you remember, I brought it up plenty of times, about how you really need to either do some sort of major reboot of Sonichu, or else just come up with a completely different comic? Because of all of the elements that you stole from other franchises? Are you still thinking about that? Because if you're going to finish book 10, then...

'''Chris:''' I have been thinking about that, actually.

'''Alec:''' What do you think about it?

'''Chris:''' Some of those, some of those changes will be talked about in the clip show that's gonna be in book 11.

'''Alec:''' Um... So, is book 11 gonna be like a transition from the current Sonichu to another one?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, yes, a transitions.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Oo-kay. Um, well, that's not really what a reboot is about. See, what you're doing, like a transition, suggests that the Sonichu that exists now is going to be, like, part of the same universe or world as whatever new Sonichu. What a reboot is, is a hard stop. You reset completely. You start over from scratch. Everything that came before is just, means nothing, it's null and void. Like, for example, the Spider-Man movies, they aren't in the same world as the comic, they were sort of a reboot. Because they told everything over from the beginning.

'''Chris:''' Hm. I see.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I mean, I know it's... I can sympathize with you on this. I mean, you've been working on Sonichu for 10 years now, and the thought that you have to abandon it completely and start over with something new, I understand that that's kind of a scary thought. But it is true.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Have you, have you, uh... What do you think of Sonichu Revolution, by the way? Have you been reading it? I'm only like seven pages in right now, so...

'''Chris:''' I have taken a look at it, and I did not like the way you were killing characters left and right! That's no good, it's just terrible! Don't go killing, don't go killing, don't go killing characters, that just does not, that just, that just does not, that just does not work. It's like...

'''Alec:''' Chris...

'''Chris:''' It's like doing Zombie X-Men, [[Wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]].

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I remember that. That was actually a pretty popular comic, wasn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's actually on the [[PlayStation Network]] digital comic download, only on the [[PSP]] right now.

'''Alec:''' Well, I've seen it in stores, though. Well, it was pretty popular, was my point.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, that's, anyway, that's the point. That's still, like, you know, killing, you're just like killing everybody left and right. It's not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, how many, how many comic books and TV shows and movies and, you know, whatever other media have you seen where characters die? Do you think they're all bad?

'''Chris:''' Yes, well, well, yeah, they are bad, because that's just totally fake. And plus, to do it in such a gory way is just terrifying. It's like any, it's like any of the Saw movies. It's especially like, especially like the first trap in Saw VI.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies?

'''Chris:''' That was horrifying.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies, Chris? The Saw movies?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I liked them, I mean I enjoyed the falling, the telling...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] You liked them? But there's death in it! How could you like a movie that has death in it, Chris?! Death is bad. You said death is bad.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm not talking about...

'''Alec:''' Death is bad.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I mean, yeah, I'm not talking about the death part, I did not say I liked the death parts, I liked the building of the character of John Kramer. In the movies.

'''Alec:''' But the point is, you still liked the movies overall, right? I mean, you went to see them, you'd probably see them again?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were hor-, yeah, I mean, I will admit they are horrifying, and they do frighten me, but think about, but think about, think about...

'''Alec:''' Hence the genre, horror, if it's horrifying it's doing its job, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, but I mean, still, that's Hollywood magic, you know, that's, you know, the people, the actors in those movies are still, are still alive and well, they just...

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, right, I forgot, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|because comic characters are real people]] and apparently I'm guilty of, of multiple homicide now? Chris, you, remember when you killed [[Simonla]] because we strong-armed you into it, because you refused to do it willingly? Are you guilty of homicide now? Because you killed Simonla?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, that would, actually, you could blame the Voltorb that was placed by the toilet, placed by the toilet that exploded. Because the Voltorb exploded, it blew up the...

'''Alec:''' Chris, you drew the Voltorb. You drew the Voltorb! Chris, you knew Simonla was going to die! You knew there was going to be a Voltorb there and you did nothing to stop it! You are an accessory to murder! Who cares if someone else placed it? You knew, of course you knew she was going to die because I've been telling you for weeks to kill her.

'''Chris:''' You're, you're, well, read, yeah, well, read the pages after I put 'em, after I put 'em all up and you will see that there is, that there was, that it wasn't preventable. That there was a way that, it could not have been prevented. You will find out.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um... Did you see my page where [[Son-Chu]] killed himself? Did you see how depressed he was? I couldn't have prevented that. Sometimes people are so depressed that you just can't reach them. And it's tragic but, you know, sometimes people commit suicide because they believe there's just no way out for them.

'''Chris:''' I have a question for you.

'''Alec:''' Oh?

'''Chris:''' You said you like Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Why did you make him, why did you draw him killing himself?

'''Alec:''' Soni-

'''Chris:''' If you liked him you would not have done that!

'''Alec:''' I didn't draw Sonichu killing himself. I said Son-Chu, your car, your... I don't want to say "Autobot" 'cause that's trademarked, but...

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, excuse me, well, I misunderstood. Well, yeah, that was, that was wrong. I mean, that was like you're killing my vehicle, it's like you're making me have to pay, like...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting off Chris''] No, Chris, I didn't kill your, I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. He was depressed because he had a name that he hated, and all the other Autobots made fun of him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, the Autobot, the Autobots do not make fun of each other for their names.

'''Alec:''' No, they make fun of Son-Chu. Chris! Look at what he says in that page! He says that he hates his name because it's not a strong, manly Autobot name. Why would he lie?

'''Chris:''' Well, it's only because you're, you're putting...

'''Alec:''' He had nothing to lie about, he had nothing to lose. He was gonna kill himself.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I did not, I'm not the one that drew, that drew my car, my Autobot, to say that. I did not. You did that, pretending to be me, in a sense.

'''Alec:''' I wasn't pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' You were pretending to be...

'''Alec:''' Chris, look up at the page. Do you see on the comic page where it says "Copyright 2010 Alec Benson Leary"? I'm pretty sure that shows that I was not pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, you have no right, you have no right in killing a character that was originally mine, and that I have never said, have never said personally, had died. When a character dies, I will let every, I will let everybody know myself. Anybody else who, who makes up, who says outside of my jurisdiction, it's just a whole bunch of bogus baloney.

'''Alec:''' Well, maybe I can say it's a parody, and that'll make it okay, right? If Sonichu Revolution is a parody? Would that be okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It would?

'''Chris:''' I would accept that, yeah. And plus, don't make them so big. Maybe like three quarters of the current size, three quarters.

'''Alec:''' No. Nah. Then no one can read the text. I'm not gonna make it smaller, it's kinda hard to read the text already.

'''Chris:''' You should have those pages on your Asperpedia! People could just go over there and read them for themselves.

'''Alec:''' Um, but the whole point of Sonichu Revolution is to make up for your lack of updates. Why would I put it on my Asperpedia? That defeats the purpose. I, I'm...

'''Chris:''' But, but you're just...

'''Alec:''' I'm keeping the fans there for you, Chris!

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing...

'''Alec:''' You could thank me once.

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing those pages, not me.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, that's right, I'm drawing the pages. You're not drawing anything. Or you say you are, but we have no proof.

'''Chris:''' I am, I, you're wrong, I have been drawing the pages, and I have been coloring them.

'''Alec:''' But you're not uploading them.

'''Chris:''' Because I have, because I'm too busy working on the, working on coloring after I have drawn them all up! And plus, I have real life things, like I have to go hang, like I have to hang out with my family. I have errands to run...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting him off''] Chris! Take a guess, right, I want you to guess...

'''Chris:''' And plus...

'''Alec:''' Between, Chris, no, Chris! I want you to guess, between one and 10, how many hours did I spend in school yesterday? Take a guess, right now.

'''Chris:''' How many hours you spent in school yesterday...

'''Alec:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' The average of 10.

'''Alec:''' That's right. I spent 10 hours in school yesterday. I also uploaded a page of Sonichu Revolution yesterday.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, what about your job? You have your job as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. What about my job? I upload pages while I have a job and school. So what about my job?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you got all your, you're spending your time there as well.

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I admit, I'm not sure really what the point I was trying to make there, I lost my train of thought.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, yeah. It's true that, yes, I spend a lot of time in school, and a lot of time at my job. And I, you know, and I have errands too. Not really for my family, I don't live with my family, but I do errands on my own.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright. Well, okay, well...

'''Alec:''' How much time... You've mentioned that several times, that you have to run errands for your family. Like, what do you have to do for them? What did you do yesterday? What... How... Like, are they having you break rocks with sledgehammers or something all day? Because you say it's like some huge, serious thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, they're old. I have to do chores for them. I have to do chores for them around the house. Like I had to even, I even shoveled snow to get the, to get the, to make a path for them and get the cars out. And my, and my car, it was stuck in, two front tires were stuck in their own dug grooves, and we finally, and finally got the car out of those two grooves today.

'''Alec:''' So you've been working on that solid, non-stop, just digging your car out? I mean... I live in Minnesota, you know, we get some bad snowstorms sometimes, and my car will just get completely buried in snow. And it might take me, like, in the worst-case scenario of storms, it might take me half an hour to dig enough snow out for my car to move. We usually don't get that much snow, though.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' You said some chores around your house, too, like besides shoveling. What else do you have to do?

'''Chris:''' I clean the kit-, I clean the kitchen, I do the, I vacuum, I move stuff around, I clean the bathroom as well, I do a lot of things around the house.

'''Alec:''' You kind of sound like you're talking to someone who has not seen that video [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of your house]] right now. And I want to let you know that I actually have seen it, so I'm pretty sure... [''Alec is interrupted by a rapid series of DTMF tones. Decoded so far: 3125632589632145896321258624231561523635832147413663574147236464''] Chris, can you hear me? Hello? Chris, are you pressing buttons? [''tones end'']

==== Part 2 ====

[''Note: Even though these calls are in one file, according to [[Clyde Cash]], Chris actually hung up on Alec at the end of the dial tones. Alec promptly called him back.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, Alec?

'''Alec:''' Hey, hey Chris, did we get disconnected there?

'''Chris:''' [[Lies|Yeah, 'fraid we did.]] It happens to me, between me and my, uh, gal-pal as well, in our conversations sometimes. Reception goes bad during this time of night.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Well, uh, glad I got you back. Okay, well, we were talking about, uh, the chores you need to do, I think, in your house. So you're saying you clean your house up?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Uh, okay, um... Have you cleaned your, cleaned your room at all?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do clean my room.

'''Alec:''' Mmm, how much do you clean it?

'''Chris:''' I clean my room like once a week.

'''Alec:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' O-kay. So, how long does it take when you do that? Because if you do that once a week, that's just, like, maintenance, shouldn't take too long.

'''Chris:''' It takes like two hours.

'''Alec:''' Two hours. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Alec:''' Um... How long does it take you to clean the rest of the house?

'''Chris:''' It takes me, it pretty much takes me one to two hours per room.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Okay. Like, what do you do when you clean? What specific stuff do you do?

'''Chris:''' I move this, I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I take, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work, back-breaking!

'''Alec:''' Back-breaking.

'''Chris:''' Yes. My back hurts.

'''Alec:''' I hope you don't mean... Your back hurts from cleaning?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, after extensive long time, I mean, sure.

'''Alec:''' I thought you, I thought you were strong, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[I AM STRONG|I am strong]].

'''Alec:''' Why would your back just... How strong are you? Like... Because it seems the videos...

'''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm very strong. Believe me, I'm very strong.

'''Alec:''' Really. Like... Uh...

'''Chris:''' Anybody, anybody, anybody will tell you that, like, yeah, they, they just feel like they break their backbones after, after a very extensive time scrubbing the floors, getting up and down, as well.

'''Alec:''' You should get a Swiffer. Swiffer Wet-Jet, because then you can stand while you're scrubbing the floor. I use it, it's really useful.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' It's quick, too.

'''Chris:''' Well, we don't have it, we don't have that here.

'''Alec:''' Huh. Maybe you could sell some of those video games like I was talking about. Then you could afford one. Have you thought at all about selling any more of your, your games, Chris? Because...

'''Chris:''' No, I have no plans, I have no plans of that at the moment.

'''Alec:''' Why would you want to hold on to video games that you don't play anymore?

'''Chris:''' I do play them, when I feel nostalgic...

'''Alec:''' ALL of them? Chris, you've got... How many [[List of Chris's games|hundreds of games]] do you have? And you play all of them regularly? Is that what you're telling me?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Regularly, like... Yeah. Every, like, uh, I'd say, yeah, on a regular basis I do.

'''Alec:''' Every single one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah!

'''Alec:''' That must take, that must take a lot of time.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Is video-game-playing back-breaking too? Just out of curiosity? I wouldn't think it would be.

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, but it's one way for me to relax after I, after I have done the work of cleaning the room. Or shoveling the snow in the yard.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but you only clean once a week, and shoveling, that doesn't happen all the time. I know Virginia got a snowstorm recently, right, but that was kinda like a one-time thing.

'''Chris:''' That's, well, okay, well, just to correct you, I was not talking about cleaning period once a week, we're talking about cleaning my room once a week. And, and then, we have other, then, it's like, on another day I'll clean up the kitchen, and on another day I'll clean up the living room, on another day I'll clean up the, I'll clean up my parents' bedroom...

'''Alec:''' Chris, I've seen the video tour of your house.

'''Chris:''' That's like, that was, that was like, that was like over, that was like over a year ago.

'''Alec:''' Over a year ago. You really... You should film a new tour, then, actually, because people still think that your house is, you know, a mess like that.

'''Chris:''' I'll think, well, I'll consider that.

'''Alec:''' You really should, you know. It would be a good idea. Chris, here's, okay, here's what I don't get about you. There are so many things, like, you know, if your house is clean, you could just make a video and show people that. And if you've really been working on the pages, you could just upload them. And if, you know, if you wanted to prove to people that you have [[Nintendo]]'s permission to use [[Pikachu]], shit like that, you could just show them the letter that Nintendo sent you, that gives you permission. Why do you, why do you take the hard way through everything? Why do you want to keep receiving, you know, demands and questions about this and that subject when one little action on your part could just stop all of it?

'''Chris:''' Because for me it's not all that easy.

'''Alec:''' What's not easy about it? Like, okay, the Nintendo...

'''Chris:''' Because, I'll, I'll just, also [[Bob|my father]]'s [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|still very angry at me]] for doing the video touring the house over a year ago. And he's making me all mad, he's very angry...

'''Alec:''' Why, why, why was he angry about it? Just refresh my memory.

'''Chris:''' It's like an invasion of privacy?

'''Alec:''' How is it an invasion? You live there, I mean, it's your house, if you choose to upload a video, that's not an invasion of privacy. If you [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|try to videotape people without their consent]], that would be an invasion of privacy. But I don't think your parents were in that video.

'''Chris:''' You don't, you don't, you don't understand, I, and I forget all of the details my father said, but he's still very angry at me for doing, for having done that.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, I guess if you say he's angry then okay, that's that, but... Um, what about, um... Well, like the Nintendo thing. Couldn't you... Did Nintendo, like, write you a letter saying, you know, yes, go ahead and use Pikachu? Couldn't you just scan that and show that to people? 'Cause everybody...

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter.

'''Alec:''' You mis-, you misplaced it?

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That seems like a really important thing, how could you misplace that? And if you clean your house so regularly, I mean, it seems like you would find things that you had lost regularly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It takes, yeah, moving, moving stuff, if I had, I had, I regularly look at stuff, and that, and it got misplaced that way.

'''Alec:''' I'm sure you could just actually call up Nintendo, because... I mean, that would be... You know, the legal department of a company keeps records of everything they do. They would be happy to just fax you or send you another copy of the letter.

'''Chris:''' I'll keep that in mind.

'''Alec:''' Businesses lose papers sometimes, and you know, that's why there's redundancy, that's why. And not only your fans, you know, but if you showed that letter publicly, then I couldn't demand that you admit Sonichu's a doomed franchise, now, could I? You wouldn't, you wouldn't even have to do the reboot? I mean, think about it. If either you, you know, reboot your entire comic that you've been working on for 10 years, that's one choice, or your other choice is, you just call up Nintendo and ask them to send another letter, and show it to everyone.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Destroy 10 years of personal hard labor, or show a letter.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well, I will think, I will, I will look, I will look into that later.

'''Alec:''' Um, okay. Um, this is reminding me of... In your recent, where you started updating the Mailbags again, um... Let me take a look at a Mailbag, because I don't remember the exact phrase, but... You responded with kind of a stock phrase to a lot of letters. Let's see here. Um, where is it. Ah! "Your letter has been read fully and your thoughts have been in-pyoo-ted..." I guess inputted. "And accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." Chris, you spend even less time responding to these e-mails than you do normally. What's up with that?

'''Chris:''' Okay, for your information I actually read, I actually read and re-read each letter before I make a final response.

'''Alec:''' But your final response is, is not thought out at all. See, this is kind of an interesting parallel to your comic work, because you say, you say that you...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, well, there are points where, there are points, there are points where I don't...

'''Alec:''' [''trying to interrupt''] Chris, Chris, Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS! Let me talk, and don't interrupt, alright? I will let you speak after I finish this sentence. This is how it goes. One person speaks, the other person responds, the first person is... Okay. Um, you say that you spend a lot of time "reading and re-reading" and really considering the letters, but when it comes time for the final step, which is, you know, the response, you don't really put any effort into that. And that's an interesting parallel to your comics, because you say you spend a lot of time drawing and coloring and, you know, preparing your pages, but that final step, uploading them, you don't put any effort into that. So it seems... It kind of sounds like you go 90 percent of the way, but you don't actually finish that crucial last 10 percent. And just to let you know, people are mad about this stock response that you made.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to the Mailbag, it's just that, you know, even after re-reading it, I still cannot, I still could not come up with an appropriate response. So I had to go with a neutral response.

'''Alec:''' Why... What do you mean, you can't come up with a... There's a lot of different subjects to these letters, and you give the same neutral response to every one. Are you telling me that all of these subjects, you really can think of absolutely nothing?

'''Chris:''' There are a few subjects on which I come up blank! Yes. I'll admit that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um... Like... Um, someone wrote you a letter about your comments about homosexuals being bigoted and offensive, and you gave the stock response to that. Um, that seems like a huge Achilles' heel with you, is if people mention the word "homosexual." Your mind goes blank.

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, of course, I could not think of an appropriate response to that letter.

'''Alec:''' "Your comments..." I'm reading the letter right now. "Your comments on homosexuals are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions. You want a vaccine for them, just because they tick you off..." Um, the last two parts, those are actually very clear questions, as far as I can see. Like, if someone asked me those questions... If someone asked me, "Do you want homosexuals to die in explosions?" I would tell them, "No." If someone asked me, "Do you want a vaccine for them just because they tick you off?" I would explain, "No, homosexuals don't actually tick me off, and I would never want to vaccinate them." I just came up with that right now. That would be my response if such a question was asked of me. And that's not even that long of a response. You don't need a page worth of response.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus, plus I perceived that, because I perceived those statements as insults, and...

'''Alec:''' Oh, so we're back to everything is an attack on you, this... Remember when you thought that my ads were an attack on you? So now someone... So, so you thought my ads were an attack on you, now this homosexual thing, um, you've made plenty of offensive comments about homosexuals, which they could, and plenty have interpreted as attacks by you. And so when someone asks you about them, how is that an attack on you?

'''Chris:''' They said when I, it was an e-mail, and that's in that where you just read about it, they called me bigoted.

'''Alec:''' That's because you are bigoted. You want...

'''Chris:''' I am not bigoted.

'''Alec:''' You hate homosexuals. How many, how many times...

'''Chris:''' I actually said that, actually I have, actually, thanks to [[Jack Thaddeus]] I recently, I have, I actually see them in a more positive light! It was, I think it was...

'''Alec:''' Is that the same Jack Thaddeus that is an evil villain, that does underhanded deals for ad space?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Well, you kinda flip-flop a lot. No, forget what I said. Um...

'''Chris:''' Uh, well, well, for your information, though, specifically, Jack Thaddeus has told me about, uh, homosetts-, about homosexuals from his point of view and how that they would never, they would never make any actions towards me because I'm not even try-, I'm not even that attractive to him.

'''Alec:''' You know, Chris...

'''Chris:''' Attract him. 'Cause he's a homosettsual.

'''Alec:''' Uhh-huh. You know, um, I've actually been hit on, I've been hit on by homosexuals, once in a while. It happens to me in my life.

'''Chris:''' Oo-kay.

'''Alec:''' It's, I never got ticked off by it, I never saw it as offensive. I mean, I'm, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't really be interested, but if, if someone, man or woman, thinks I'm attractive, then, you know, well, it's flattering. Even if I'm not interested. Why would you think it's an attack if a gay person finds you attractive? I take it as a compliment that people think I'm attractive.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, it's, yeah, well, still, I mean, if I was, well, okay, well, if a homosexual came up to me and flirted with me like that, I wouldn't, uh, no, no, I would let them know that, no...

'''Alec:''' That you're not interested?

'''Chris:''' And, yeah, I cannot accept your, I cannot accept that because I'm not interested, I am straight, nnn...

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, that's...

'''Chris:''' And then leave it at that.

'''Alec:''' That sounds, yeah, that sounds like a good...

'''Chris:''' And then, then, if the, and then if the guy continued to, continue on like that after the warning, then I would get really mad.

'''Alec:''' Well, that's understandable. And you know what? That happens, not just with gay people. I mean, straight people, plenty of straight people have trouble getting a hint. I mean, you know, guys, all the time, there are guys who, you know, hit on a girl, and she says, "No, thank you, I'm not interested", and they just keep pressing the point. [[Megan|Overstepping their boundaries]]. [[Kacey|Trying to hold their hands, things like that]]. That is... You know, in a situation like that, it's perfectly acceptable to get offended if they don't respect, er, if they don't respect your, um, your decline. Your negative response. You see? Um, but I... When, when did you talk to Jack about this, this homosexual thing? When did you have that conversation?

'''Chris:''' It was about, it was like over a, it was like over a week ago.

'''Alec:''' When did you answer Mailbag 52? Pretty sure it was less than a week ago, wasn't it? Because if your issues with homosexuals are resolved now, then why couldn't you offer a simple response to that? Okay, here's what you could have said. Um... Well, just to be clear, do you still want a vaccine for homosexuals?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Uh, I'm sorry, I did not understand, I do not understand that. Could you repeat that please?

'''Alec:''' [''slowly this time''] Do you want to create a vaccine to eliminate homosexuality?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Hmm...

'''Alec:''' Do you understand that?

'''Chris:''' Honestly... Yeah, okay, yeah, I understood that. So yeah, you're asking me that right now. Or are you, or are you just, I mean, uh, okay.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I am asking you right now.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''pause''] In an attempt to make a better world, a better world, I would support it. I would support that.

'''Alec:''' Oooo-kay, so, when you said that you don't have problems with gays anymore, that wasn't actually true. Chris, well, like I said, I'm not gay, but I have a number of gay friends, um, a few family members that are gay, and it's part of who they are. That's part of their identity. Why would you want to take that away from them? What, what about removing homosexuality would make the world a better place? [''exasperated sigh''] It shouldn't be that hard, Chris, because you already, um, established a predicate that "no gays equals the world is a better place." So, having said that, that must mean that you do have an idea of how the two things are connected.

'''Chris:''' Uh... Well, what two things?

'''Alec:''' Chris, do you... Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Chris, you said, you said "no gays equals the world is a better place." That, "no gays" is point one. That connects to "world is better," point two. How do those connect? What is... Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, yeah, okay, now I get it, I mean, it's just that, you know, uh, [[Lies|I'm getting an incoming call right now]], and, uh, taking it will interrupt this conversation...

'''Alec:''' Well, you should probably ignore it. Yeah. Um, so please...

'''Chris:''' It's like, hard to, though, it cancels, it cancels your, it cancels your vocal input out at that point when the...

'''Alec:''' Well, did you... Yeah. Did you hear my point, though? Please explain how no gays equals world's better.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] You know, okay, well, I'm not necessarily saying... I'm not saying that as in reference to them as people. I'm saying that in reference, and like...

'''Alec:''' Well, removing, removing homosexuality equals a world better. Explain that.

'''Chris:''' Because there will be less risk of those people going to hell.

'''Alec:''' Hell?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. When they die.

'''Alec:''' What do you... Oh, you mean instead of heaven?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing?

'''Chris:''' It's implied within parts of the Bible.

'''Alec:''' Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I have read the Bible, but...

'''Alec:''' You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] So?

'''Alec:''' How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now.

'''Alec:''' So you're going to hell, right?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, I'm making, I'm making atones for that.

'''Alec:''' Uhhhh...are you? Really?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Well, you... I asked you to give Mao a Forgiveness Blessing, that was the most lackluster one I've ever seen you do. Do you believe that black magic, uh, works, Chris?

'''Chris:''' There's a po-, there's a chance that it can, but...

'''Alec:''' Um, not if you're Christian. Because the Christian God says that all magic and supernatural stuff that doesn't come from God is false.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I, I have no comment to that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, um... Let's go back to the gay thing, because, you know, we've established that you don't really know a whole lot about the religion you claim to believe in.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So I would, I would, um, when you're in the absence of important information like that, I would think, just go with what you know. Go with what you see. And by that I mean, you know, you've never been attacked by a homosexual, they've never done anything evil to you.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Actually, yes, I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.

'''Alec:''' What did he say to you?

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member, I don't remember what he said to me, but they were offensive.

'''Alec:''' Um, so... Okay, well, there are bad gay people, just like there are bad straight people. Um... So, one gay person did something bad to you that you don't really remember, therefore all gay people are going to hell? Is that the logic you're doing there?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, more or less.

'''Alec:''' How many... Okay, so, I should condemn all straight people because you've been horrible to me. You've said a lot of bad things to me, you've threatened me. Maybe, or, not just straight, maybe I should condemn autistic people, because you identify with autism a lot and you've been a very bad person in most of our dealings.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Are all autistic people, um, really selfish and demanding and...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Not all of them are.

'''Alec:''' But all homosexuals are bad? Because you had one bad experience? That's a double standard.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay, well, okay, well, they're all not. [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Well. You know, I'll wait to see if you really stick to that belief or not, I guess. I mean, I guess it's good that you're saying it now, but... Why do you sigh so much?

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm a little tired right now. I had to, I actually cleaned more, I cleaned the kitchen again today.

'''Alec:''' [[Biological clock|Don't you usually stay up to like 4:00 A.M. or something]], you said? This is kinda like the middle of the day for you, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' No, this is not the middle of the day for me, this is the middle of the night for me.

'''Alec:''' But... Okay, you said you sleep until like noon, right? And then you stay up 'til like three or four at night. That's kind of a, that's a really weird schedule, by the way.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, late-, actually I am, I'm mostly going to bed before midnight and I get up at like 9:00 A.M.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Well. I actually go to bed, like, around 11, so I'm closer to my bedtime than you are to yours, but I feel fine. We all get tired, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Anyway...

'''Alec:''' Um, what do you think of... Let's see here...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' [''long pause''] Um, oh, here's another good question. When someone asked you about the Mailbag that you fabricated, and you gave them that stock response again. I just, I really want to see you actually... My, my main goal right now is I want to see you put real effort into your Mailbags.

'''Chris:''' I will... I put as much effort as I could, but it's, you know, sometimes I do come up blank, and that cannot be helped.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you're... I know you've said plenty of times, you're a pretty smart guy, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but sometimes I'm quick, sometimes I'm [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow]].

'''Alec:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' It just happens! I don't know why. It's my head. I'm not a psychiatrist. A psychologist.

'''Alec:''' You don't have to be a... You... You remember that [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|Mike Jackson memorial e-mail]] you got here? You used the copy-and-paste response on that too.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Yeah, well, I didn't know who that was, I didn't realize that that was the, uh, that was a guy that, that went out, and that moved out when their, the prostitute did. Lose him. And I apologize...

'''Alec:''' I thought that you, I thought that you said that you spent a lot of time reading and carefully re-reading these e-mails. How do you not know the basics of what it's about?

'''Chris:''' Well, I miss a detail or two sometimes, it happens to a lot!

'''Alec:''' You missed all the detail, Chris! You missed all the detail.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I thought they were talking about Michael Jackson, the pop star.

'''Alec:''' Maybe if you'd read the e-mail you would've, you know, seen that that wasn't the case? Did you even look at that memorial? Chris, do you...

'''Chris:''' I can say I have not looked... I did not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, why do you not put effort into anything?

'''Chris:''' [''sudden anger''] I do put effort in every-, in everything!

'''Alec:''' Everything?! No! I told you that your website was going to get taken down because of a lawsuit over a stolen character, and you did nothing. I tell you you gotta upload pages and you do nothing. I tell you you gotta respond...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am working on the pages...

'''Alec:''' But you don't upload them!

'''Chris:''' Yes I will, yes I do, and I will!

'''Alec:''' No, "will" is different from "do." "Will" is the future tense, and it hasn't happened yet.

'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] I'm getting tired, I'm getting tired of this. You're raising your voice at me, I'm not, and I'm not, I don't appreciate it.

'''Alec:''' Well, I... I think I kind of, I'm just trying to enunciate a point, I'm trying to get you to respond.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... A person raising their voice, that really is enough to just, you know, completely discombobulate you? Besides, you yelled at me first.

'''Chris:''' No, you raised your voice at me first.

'''Alec:''' No. No. I asked you, "Chris, why do you not care about anything? And you screamed, "I DO CARE!"

'''Chris:''' You're being, you're being, you're being ridiculing to me.

'''Alec:''' Uh, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Chris, I want to, I want to understand why it is okay for you to do so many things to other people that make you mad when they do them back to you. Please, I'm asking you a simple question. Please explain this to me. Why is it that any level, any tiny level of stress or inconvenience, and you immediately will fall back on, you know, you're being attacked, or you're being, you know, your world is...

'''Chris:''' It just happens, espec-, it just happens, especially when I'm tired.

'''Alec:''' No. That's not an excuse. That is not an excuse. That's an excuse that a child uses. Children complain that they have to do a little bit of hard, you know, work, or deal with unpleasant situations. Honestly? I have been very polite with you, Chris. I don't swear at you, except, you know, on a few occasions where you really piss me off, but for the most part I don't. I don't yell at you, I raise my voice in response to you raising your voice. I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to talk to you like an adult.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm just tired right now.

'''Alec:''' [''snorts'']

'''Chris:''' And you know, considering your bed at 11:00, uh, you probably want to finish this up, want to wrap this up as well. So I...

'''Alec:''' No, I'm doing good.

'''Chris:''' Let's just that, let's just agree that, uh, I will be uploading the pages, and uh, what you got, perhaps, perhaps after book 10 is completed, uh, we could, uh, actually, you know what...

'''Alec:''' Well, you know what? If you want to...

'''Chris:''' Don't worry about the ads, don't worry about that, uh, ad space at this point. I'll just agree to that, but, uh, but, yeah, but you know...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] Please, Stop, Running, Away from me, Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

'''Alec:''' [''snort''] I know you're not literally running away, but you're trying to end the conversation because I'm making you feel bad.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And it's not even because I'm attacking or insulting you, I'm just presenting, you know, a few things that are very minorly unpleasant.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Okay, well, with that, uh, sometimes, there are things that, yeah, we don't, we generally, we would not prefer, we would prefer the opposite of unpleasant.

'''Alec:''' You seem to prefer the opposite of unpleasant literally all the time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Any little bit of stress and you run for the hills. You avoid anything unpleasant, even, even in cases where dealing with a small problem now will avert a very big problem later. You always choose the hard way. You choose to deal with the big problem that you could have avoided. Bad news is gonna happen, Chris, life is not all fun and games.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure, well, I'm sure that that's happened to you and you actually had to do that as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but then I turned 10 and I started learning to get over it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Man the fuck up, Chris. Pardon my language, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get, I get, and I said that.

'''Alec:''' You're gonna have to show that with your actions, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And I will.

'''Alec:''' Do you believe that we, um, could ever be friends, Chris?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Maybe.

'''Alec:''' Maybe?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, you gotta start listening to people that are trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' I am open to, I am open to opinions and thoughts when they are presented in a non-condescending, uh, appro-, acceptable tone, or, or whatever.

'''Alec:''' That's what you always say, but you never act on them. I'm showing you things you haven't done, and you still don't do them. Because I've done this with you several times.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I will, listen, I gotta go, I'm really, seriously, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, have a good night. Maybe I'll talk to you later.

'''Chris:''' Alright. Take care. Bye-bye.

[''Call ends'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Chris and Alec Call 9]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?6231aeh7we8zkcy The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxfkNdoV3fM Youtube version: part 1]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7

2012-06-28T07:42:53Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7''' is the seventh of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 08 February 2010. They discuss the locking of the [[CWCipedia]] on 6 February 2010, as well as Chris's [[5_February_2010|apology video]] from the previous day.

The conversation is extremely one-sided, with many long pauses and silences following Alec's comments. Chris has very little to say except when goaded, and even then his answers are sullen and short. While Alec makes a dogged attempt to reason with him, he fails.

=Summary=

As the conversation begins, Chris is predictably unhappy about the locking of the CWCipedia to edits. Supposedly, he was planning to get back to answering [[Mailbag]] entries after a long period of computer trouble.

Alec presses Chris on the subject of doing away with his infringing character [[Simonla]] and publishing a written apology to [[Evan]] in the pages of his comic. Chris is obviously resistant, and indeed admitted in a [[9_February_2010|later video]] that he [[Lie|never intended]] to give up Simonla.

The topic then moves to Chris's [[I_am_Alive|second apology video]]. Alec argues that Chris was merely going through the motions and didn't actually understand or care about what he was apologizing for. Chris lamely attempts to claim otherwise, but it's obvious that Alec is correct. At around this point in the conversation, Chris becomes increasingly withdrawn and doesn't seem to be listening to much of what Alec has to say.

Alec rouses Chris briefly by challenging him on his misconception of what the term "[[biological clock]]" actually means. He also gets a reaction by claiming that Chris doesn't actually care about his comic. In response, Chris blames his broken-down computer for his failure to publish more pages and updates. Apparently, it was disabled by a power surge for a few days in early February. When Alec points out that Chris could easily have spent some of his [[List of Chris's games|video game budget]] on a more reliable computer, Chris has no response.

The conversation finally ends when Alec lays into Chris for the massive amount of time he flushes away on games and flailing around at invisible enemies on the internet. When Alec attempts to dish out some valuable advice regarding Chris's total waste of his life, Chris hangs up.

=Part 1=
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|MRH_7Puy6jY}}
| Stardate = 08 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

 '''Chris''': Hello? 
 '''Alec''': Hey, Chris, it's Alec. 
 '''Chris''': Hello, Alec. 
 '''Alec''': How are you? You're good? 
 '''Chris''': I'm doing okay, I'm doing okay. 
 '''Alec''': Cool, cool. Ah, just calling to see how things are going with...well, I know that Evan went forward with freezing the CWCipedia on you. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. So, uh...what are you thinking about that? 
 '''Chris''': What am I thinking about that? I can't edit it, I can't edit squat! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I was gonna answer some more Mailbag letters! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I finally got my [[Computers|PC]] back and running after a weekend of not having it after a power fail- after a power failure. [''[[sigh]]''] 
 '''Alec''': Well, you know, um, I think the thing here is you did kinda drop the ball on getting the pages up, you know, as quick as possible. 
 '''Chris''': I am gonna get the pages up, and Simonla will be, Simonla will be killed. 
 '''Alec''': Um, well, that's good, I'm just...you know, Evan, he got kinda impatient, because he was waiting a long time for this. I talked to him about it, but he's, he wasn't keen to move on it. He just wanted to. Do you have them finished? The Simonla death page and the apology page? 
 '''Chris''': And I'll, and I'll have them, I'll have them upload...either tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever the thing is un-frozen. 
 '''Alec''': I think Evan wants you to show them to him first, just to make sure they're good. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Well, you know, can you blame him? He just wants to see the product before he un-freezes the site. 'Cause if it's not what he wants then he's going to re-freeze the site, and that's a hassle for him. He's gotta make sure you're good on your word. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright, yeah. I'll, I'll send them to him, I have them sent to him tomorrow. 
 '''Alec''': Alright. Well, you know, that's between you and Evan. I'm going to, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm just not satisfied with your apology video, and I don't think I'll be asking you to make another, because it's...it's become apparent to me that...I don't think you really even understand what you did wrong. 'Cause that video, well, first of all, the call last time, you were just aching to get off the phone with me. You were just trying to hurry the call along. And then the video, you just read off a list. It was rather apparent that you didn't put any thought into why I wanted you to say those things at all. And that was really the point, Chris, it wasn't about getting you to read things off a list, it was about getting you to... 
 '''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Well, I mean, yeah, actually I did, actually I did get the point behind everything. 
 '''Alec''': There was even less emotion in your voice in that video than there is normally, when you apologize for something. I mean I've seen apology videos you made before and they're all pretty lackluster, but this one was just like a slap in the face. You didn't say Sonichu was a failing franchise, either. That was part of my list. Sonichu can't make money. And you said you would say it, but you didn't. You know, you weren't actually sorry. You said those things that I asked you to say because you thought that reading them off a list would get my ads off of your site. I took my ads off your site for the moment, just because I don't really want Asperchu associated with your perennial legal troubles, but if you do get CWCipedia back up, then my ads are going back, because I'm not satisfied. That's if you get it up, Chris, because as far as I can tell you don't really even care about Sonichu that much. 
 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I have to [''garbled''] in the pages. 
 '''Alec''': Chris, I warned you numerous times, over the past several weeks, that someone was targeting you for a lawsuit over problems you were causing with Sonichu. If I was warned that someone was targeting me for a lawsuit, and they had grounds to sue me, I would deal with it right away. I would drop what I was doing. I mean, you had time, Chris. You had all the time in the world. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': Doesn't that seem reasonable to you? You don't go to school. You don't have a job. You know, I asked you what your day was like, last time I talked to you, and you said that you were sleeping in 'til eleven in the morning. I mean, eleven, Chris? That's ridiculous. I would kill to be able to sleep in all day. I have to get up early every day because I have things that I need to do. I mean, you could have slept in 'til ten instead and then used the extra hour to make the apology page, or make an apology video, or both. 
 '''Chris''': Some days... 
 '''Alec''': I mean, I don't understand what this whole "biological clock" thing is that you keep falling back on. Are you even listening to me right now? You weren't listening last time. I think you said in... 
 '''Chris''': You know what, look it up, do you know what, look it up on Wikipedia. 
 '''Alec''': Look up what? 
 '''Chris''': Biological, biological clock! 
 '''Alec''': Biological clock? 
 '''Chris''': Now I'm... 
 '''Alec''': "Biological clock" is a phrase that women usually use to their most fertile reproductive years. I really have no reason, no understanding of why you would apply that to yourself. 
 '''Chris''': It means, it, it reference to, to sleeping schedule. 
 '''Alec''': [''sigh of his own''] You know, I don't have problems with sleeping, any sleeping schedule. I think maybe, I think, you know, what happens with a lot of people when they have absolutely nothing to do with their days, that's when their sleep schedule gets messed up. See, I have a routine, I have to go to work, and I have to go to school, and I work on my comic because I care about my comic. You don't have a job or school and you don't care about your comic, therefore your body... 
 '''Chris''': I actually do, I actually do care about my stuff! I care about my stuff! 
 '''Alec''': Your actions say otherwise. You know, you don't upload any pages, how many times have I told you, you have to start uploading pages? Not just when I wanted you to make the apology page, I just mean in general. But you don't, you didn't listen. 
 '''Chris''': Well, I have been working on the pages, and I will be uploading them as soon as the thing gets un-frozen! And I had to go through my, without a PC the past weekend, because I was on a power failure! 
 '''Alec''': Power failure? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah! 
 '''Alec''': Like the power was knocked out all weekend? That doesn't stop you from drawing... 
 '''Chris''': It was actually knocked out, it was actually knocked out for about 40 minutes, but then it took me a lot longer for me to get my computer back up and running. 
 '''Alec''': Um, I have blackouts on occasion and my computer shuts off, and then when the power comes on I just press the power button. My computer comes back up in a minute. 
 '''Chris''': You know, for me, it can't, it, it came, I tried powering back on and then, and then the farthest it had gotten was just the introductory HP Pavilion blue screen. And then it would go into looking like one of those color bars where the station's not broadcasting. 
 '''Alec''': So what you're saying is you don't take care of the equipment that you need to do your comic. 
 '''Chris''': I admit I need a new computer. 
 '''Alec''': Why can't you buy one? I've seen... 
 '''Chris''': I can't afford one right now. 
 '''Alec''': I've seen videos of you in your room, you've got a fancy, you've got like a 40-inch HDTV in there, you've got your PlayStation 3, you've got a wall full of video games, but you can't afford a basic computer? Nothing fancy, costs maybe a couple hundred bucks. I could go buy myself 10 new computers right now if I wanted. Good computers. I wouldn't do it because I save my money, but the fact that I'm capable is proof of that. How many video games do you own that you don't play, Chris? 
 '''Chris''': I play all my games in, within my lifetime, for your information. 
 '''Alec''': How many of them do you currently play? I've played a lot of games in my lifetime, but I own very few right now, because as soon as I'm done with them I usually sell them. You sure have a lot of time on your hands, Chris, to play all those games, for that matter. I've never come close to owning as many games as you have. Chris, how many hours a week do you spend on video games right now? 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] I dunno, I'd say about... 

=Part 2=
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Y80N40s3JmA}}
| Stardate = 08 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
 '''Chris''': -maybe two or four a day? 
 '''Alec''': That's an awful lot of time to be spending on video games per day. And that is time that you could be using on your comic, if you cared about your comic, but obviously you care more about video games. 
 '''Chris''': I do care about my comic, it's just I have, it's just I use that, it's actually between drawing, drawing page, between drawing and coloring. 
 '''Alec''': But you could use that video game time to upload them. And you never did that. 
 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do! 
 '''Alec''': How many days have you missed since you promised you would upload two pages a day? You don't care. Your actions say that you don't care. Actions speak louder than words, Chris. I don't even consider you competition anymore, do you know that? Because you, you obviously, my competition are artists who actually care about their work, and you play video games all day. And then you sleep in, because you have nothing to do. And then you, when you do actually take time to do something, you don't actually work on your comic, you just attack me. And then when I'm nice to you, you continue to attack me. And then when I get mad and yell at you, you back down right away, because you can't stand up in a fight. And then when I'm nice again, because I think to myself, "I don't wanna keep yelling, because I'm not that kind of person," then you become disrespectful again. Do you have anything to say, Chris?

[''total silence'']

 '''Alec''': He hung up.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|}}

=External links=
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?137kyhrdc4jpb3v The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y80N40s3JmA The Call on Youtube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6

2012-06-28T07:42:04Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6''' is the sixth of the calls between Chris and Alec Benson Leary, which took place on 04 February 2010. As Alec notes several times, Chris is far too agreeable to Alec's conditions, and at times simply doesn't seem to be listening.

The end result of the demands was the [[I am Alive|C-log of 5 February 2010]], in which Chris half-asses his way through most of Alec's requests.

As a result, the [[CWCipedia]] was shut down from February 6 to February 12. When it was brought back up, the Asperchu ads were made worse, just as Alec promised.

=Summary=

Alec spends much of the phone call dictating his list of demands to Chris and asking Chris to recite this list multiple times. Alec repeatedly tells Chris that if Chris meets all of his demands, the ads for the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] will be removed from the CWCipedia, but if his demands are not met in full, his ads will get worse. All the while, Chris tries to rush the phone conversation, clearly not taking this shit seriously enough. Alec brushes upon the topic of the word [[naïve]] and Chris shows yet again that he doesn't understand the meaning of the word. [[Autism|He also believes that the phrase "well call me naïve" is an invitation to call someone naïve]]. Alec explains that it is just a turn of phrase, but metaphor and sarcasm seem to be concepts that are beyond Chris's grasp. Alec presents Chris with a hypothetical situation when someone says "just shoot me" and asks what Chris would do. [[Sonichu Special 4|Chris actually considers shooting someone in this case]].

Chris's ignorance is in full swing here. He feels that attracting fans from another fandom should be considered stealing, as if fans spontaneously generate out of nothing and the ones he has are his property and no one else's. Also, Chris still has no idea how ad space works. Alec spends a great deal of time explaining to Chris how many Sonichu characters are in violation of various [[Chris and copyright|copyrights]] and that if Chris tries to publish Sonichu, he will be sued by Nintendo, Hasbro, Sega, etc. He proposes to Chris that he must reboot Sonichu without all the [[Transformers]], all the [[Pokemon]], [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]], and the other shit Chris stole. Chris says he will [[lie|take it into consideration]], but clearly will not as he seems averse to the idea of rebooting Sonichu. Judging from Chris's history of [[White knight e-mails|rejecting good advice]], Chris will continue Sonichu in all its copyright-infringing glory.

==Alec's Demands==

Alec's demands for Chris were as follows:

#Admit that Alec has greater Fanbase.
#Admit that he asked Evan permission to use Simonla.
#Admit that Simonla was never Chris’s creation.
#Admit that he attempted to edit the CWCipedia article to say that Simonla was his creation.
#Acknowledge that Evan took away rights for Chris to use Simonla and that Chris has been ignoring this
#Apologize for using the word naive about Alec.
#Apologize for cursing Mao and give a Forgiveness Blessing to him.
#Apologize for stealing the false Chaotic Combo and Asperchu from Alec.
#Make the apologies in a comic page.
#Apologize for impersonating his mother off camera (not in a video).
#Admit that Chris has been trolling Alec.
#Apologize for insinuating that Alec keeps female prisoners in his basement and rapes them.
#Admit that he doesn’t have a good excuse to not upload pages everyday.
#Apologize for disrespecting his fans.
#Violently kill Simonla in the comic.
#Wear Sonichu medallion and high school ring while filming the video.
#Admit Sonichu is a doomed franchise.
#Not look insincere.

Chris tried to weasel his way out of meeting all of Alec's requests. He gave Mao a half-assed Forgiveness Blessing, killed off Simonla off-screen after Alec specifically asked for her to be killed on-screen, and admitted to not having an excuse for updating '''some days''', but that life gets in the way, even though Chris clearly doesn't have a life. He completely refused to mention that he had been trolling Alec and that Sonichu is a doomed franchise. Chris gave the most resistance to these ideas in the phone conversation. Chris also showed no sincerity and tried to rush though the video. Needless to say, Alec was far from pleased with Chris.

=Part 1=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|PBPdXXFnvzU}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

'''Alec''': ''[cut off]''-s it's, uh, it's Alec.

'''Chris''': Yes, hello, Alec.

'''Alec''': Hi. Um. Uh, I was uh, wondering if you'd like to...continue our discussion about, um, about getting all the ads down?

'''Chris''': Ohhhh-kay.

'''Alec''': Um, well first I wanna let you know that um, just to make it clear, if you-if you make another video that, um, includes all the requirements that I'm going to list for you, I will, uh, remove all of my ads completely. From the CWCipedia. If you, if you follow my instructions. That sound good?

'''Chris''': Yeah okay, hang on lemme get something to write on and something to write with.

'''Alec''': Alright.

'''Chris''': Okay, I'm listening.

'''Alec''': Alright. Um, first of all, like I said in our last call, I'd like you to admit that I do have a very sizable fanbase. Uh, because I think you believe that I don't have any real fans. I'd like you to admit that I do. I have quite a lot of fans. A lot of them are former Sonichu fans.

'''Chris''': Okay, well, yeah...admit that. Okay what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Um, well, in your apology video I asked you to address not only Simonchu, but Simonla. And you didn't. And I'd like you to bring up that you actually did ask Evan permission to use Simonla when you first began using her, uh, which shows that you understood from the beginning that Simonla was not yours and you were borrowing her from-or, or him, rather, Simonchu-from the original creator. And I'd like you to admit that Simonla was never yours.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': I see. Hm.

'''Alec''': Will you do that, Chris?

'''Chris''': I'm writing it down, hang on.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': Alright, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Ummm...I'd like you to admit that you...attempted to edit the CWCipedia article about Simonla to say that she was your original creation. Well, wasn't a nice thing to do to your fans.

'''Chris''': Right. Anyway, uh, got that written down. What's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Um...I want you to acknowledge that even though Evan gave you permission to use Simonla, he later took it away. And he took it away quite a long time ago. And I'd like you to admit that you have been ignoring and disrespecting his requests to remove his character from your comic.

'''Chris''': Alright I'm writing it down. Hm. Huh...permission to ''[mutters]''...

'''Alec''': You know, it sounds like, um, you're actually pretty agreeable about this, and I'm glad about that.

'''Chris''': Yeah well I'm writing it down here. Um...yeah.

'''Alec''': Well yeah you're writing it down. So you're, you're going to do those things so far?

'''Chris''': Yeah. ''[very quickly, as if trying to sneak this past Alec]'' Well anyway-anyway it's still debatable. Anyway. What's the next thing?

'''Alec''': ''[nobody's fool but his own]'' Nooo, it's not debatable. Chris, all these conditions I'm listing, you have to do these, or my ads go nowhere.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Anyway. Uh, okay, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Does that matter to you, Chris? You said that's debatable and I'm saying it's not. Don't you...wanna acknowledge that?

'''Chris''': Acknowledged, anyway, uh, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': ''[sigh]'' Alright. Um, I asked you to apologize for the word "naïve". I want you to do that. Specifically say that you used the word "naïve" because you intended to hurt and insult me, and you know that I am not naïve.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': Alright. Yeah. Okay what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': I want you to apologize for cursing Mao. And um, actually I'd like you to issue him-give him a forgive-a-ness blessing. To-to retract that curse-ye-ha-me-ha.

'''Chris''': Hm. Mm...okay, uh, anything-anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, I want you to apologize for stealing from me.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': You know, the um...the false Chaotic Combo I created, you stole them, and you stole Asper...chu and tried to change them around.

'''Chris''': Uhh...

[pause]

'''Alec''': ''[inhales]'' Um, can we talk about S-can we talk about Simonla a bit? Because I wanna know why you say it's debatable.

'''Chris''': Hm. Lemme think about that a moment...mm...okay, I guess that was a...premature thing to say, so I re-I respectfully withdraw it. So, is there anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, so you...so you are going to say that Simonla is not y-you're going to say exactly what I asked you to say about Simonla? You're going to...?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Okay. Um, the next thing is...these are the things that I wanted you to make in a video. But I also want you to, um, in your comic, just take a page or whatever, you know, take a little side break from the main story, and use the page to explain, uh, everything that I just said as well. And I would like you to, in that comic page, apologize to me, and to Mao, and to Evan, for all the things that I just listed.

'''Chris''': Uh-huh.

'''Alec''': Are you gonna do that?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': 'Cause uh, I asked you...I just wanna make sure you're going to do these Chris, 'cause I asked you to do these things last time that we talked about it, I mean the last time before you, you know, hung up on me, and um, you said you were writing it down but then you forgot like half the things that I asked you to do.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Alright so, is that it, is there anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, I guess you don't have to put it in the video, this next part, but I'd like you to apologize for pretending to be your mother in the last phone call. And uh, pretending that she was calling you away from the phone call.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': And the reason I'd like you to apologize for that is because I, um, really don't benefit a whole lot from calling you about these matters, I was calling you because I wanted to give you a quick and easy way to settle this whole ad business and to settle the fight between us, and rather than take the opportunity to listen to what I said, you pretended to be your mother, and, you know, pretended that your mother was calling you away to do an errand and you had to leave the phone call. So instead of handling the problem right then and there, and if you had done so, then, you know, the ads could have been gone by now, but instead you ''[Chris 'hm's]'' ran away from me. It shows you don't respect me.

'''Chris''': Right. Yeah. So, alright. Wrote that down. Anything else?

'''Alec''': Well, I'd like-I'd like you to admit that right now, Chris. That you lied about that.

'''Chris''': Okay, why don't-

'''Alec''': And since you-

'''Chris''': I admit that-I admit that I pretended to be my mother, to end the call early last time.

'''Alec''': Can I ask you why you did that, Chris?

'''Chris''': Because I felt it was going on and on, and I was-

'''Alec''': We were-

'''Chris''': -[[Stress|tired]]...

'''Alec''': We were barely on the phone for five minutes when you did that. And this is, like I said, this is a serious matter, and it's your problem that I'm trying to help you with. I was being gracious enough to call you, to, you know, give you a way to settle it. And you still-you ran away from me. Real men don't run away from their problems, Chris. When I-I talked to you, I talked to you on an even footing, man to man. I don't lie or deceive you. And I don't run away, even though you are a troll to me. Because, you know, obviously I've been calling you. To talk to you. Instead of hiding from you.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': Um...that's another thing I want you to put in the video. I want you to admit that you are a troll. And that you have been trolling me ever since I-ever since my comic started. And use that word specifically. Say, "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am a troll."

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.
=Part 2=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|CsRCGWIFrlc}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 1|part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

'''Alec''': Can you, um, read back, uh, to me the list that you've made since we started this call, please?

'''Chris''': Okay. Admit that Alec has sizable fanbase, address the-I had permission for Simonchu but then it was withdrawn, and I did not admit to-uh, an a, admit-admit-admit Simonla was not mine, admit ''(?)'' anything to my Simonla article, yeah Evan gave permission, but withdrew it, gone against his wishes, no Simonla, apologize to Alec for calling him naïve, apologize to Mao forgiveness blessing, apologize for stealing Asperchu and parodic characters, and ''(?)'' comic page explaining all of that with more apologies, and I just apologized to you for pretending to be my mother to end the call early, and admit trolling you.

'''Alec''': Okay, good. That's good so far. Um, I'd also like you to apologize for insinuating that I keep female prisoners in my basement and use them as a...unwilling harem and rape them. Because I don't do anything of the sort.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': That's just creepy. I don't...I don't know where you got that idea.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': I mean, I can kinda see some of the other complaints that you had were based on, you know, like direct misunderstanding of things, but-but that, you know, me raping female prisoner things...that just-that c-that came outta left field. Where'd you get that idea?

'''Chris''': ''[talking over him]'' Yeah okay well, okay. Well actually...no. Ah...I never said-I never used the word 'rape', you just had them in prisom ''[sic]'' and you treated them like hamsters. You did not rape them.

'''Alec''': ''[talking over Chris, who says something unclear]'' What do you mean, 'treated them like hamsters'?

'''Chris''': You know, just keep them in cages, giant hamster wheels, giant water bottles, nn...and food pellets.

'''Alec''': 'Kay, um, even if you didn't use the word 'rape', what do you think people-what do you think the impression is people are going to get when you suggest that someone keeps female prisoners in their basement? They're going to think that um, said prisoners are being raped by their captor. And I mean, that seems like a pretty obvious insinuation. Even if you don't use the word directly.

'''Chris''': Okay. Ahh...alright anything else after that?

'''Alec''': ''[inhales]'' Umm...I am still trying to think. Um...y-you know, I apologize for seeming like I'm beating a dead horse, but I...I am a little suspicious that you seem so agreeable, because in all our previous correspondences you've been um, you know, insulting, rude, or...manipulative. Or a combination thereof. But now it seems like, you know, you're-you're just rearin' to go with this. ...Are you sure you're just not trying to-?

'''Chris''': ''(??)''

'''Alec''': -finish the phone call with me quickly? 'Cause,

'''Chris''': Well, I'm not trying to-

'''Alec''': Because-

'''Chris''': -[[Sonichu (comic)|finish anything]].

'''Alec''': Okay.

'''Chris''': I mean, [[Lie|I'm not trying to finish this phone call]], I want to put this to rest.

'''Alec''': Okay, well, good. 'Cause like I said, you do all these things perfectly, as I say, um-

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': -then my ads will go away. Um, but if-but if you make a video and you're missing anything, or if you deliberately contradict something, um, or if I feel like you are trying to pull a fast one on me and weasel out of something, then the ads are going to get worse. Because at this point I do have to assume that anything that goes wrong is a deliberate, um...evil intent on your part.

'''Chris''': I see.

'''Alec''': Do you-? I mean, that's a...fair assumption for me to make, don't you think? Considering how much you've-

'''Chris''': ''[talking over him]'' You have, you have, you have right-you have the right to make that assumption.

'''Alec''': Mmkay. Kay, well good. Excuse me just a second.

'''Chris''': Kay.

''[pause, a [[stress sigh]] is heard]''

'''Alec''': Sorry about that, I'm back. Um...

'''Chris''': Right.

'''Alec''': Can I ask you why you think the word "naïve" is so... horrible?

''[small pause]''

'''Chris''': Not only does the word sound like nails on--nails on a chalkboard when one says it, but also, it questions one's intelligence and experience. In life.

'''Alec''': I-I think it actually only questions experience, it's not about intelligence.

'''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' Yeah but, yeah but-experience versus knowledge... still implied, the knowledge part.

'''Alec''': Well no, knowledge is different from intelligence.

'''Chris''': Yeah but also similarly it can sound like, you know, callin' somebody stupid. Or worse than that.

'''Alec''': Well, you know, no pun intended here, but if you...if you believe that then I think you kind of are naïve. I mean, because the-that you-you don't have a, you know, an understanding of the word.

'''Chris''': I looked it up in a disshonary ''[sic]''. I have a understanding of the word.

'''Alec''': I-I don't know what dictionary you looked up that suggested it's a direct question of one's intelligence. ... I mean, lemme look it up on uh, an online dictionary here. Um...let's see..."lacking experience or judgments", it's really not about intelligence. And um, I am still kinda bothered that, you know, you think it's such a horrible insult that you wanted to use it on me.

'''Chris''': Hm. Okay well, in-

'''Alec''': And you-and you had happily-

'''Chris''': Okay well still in my defense though, [[Autism|you did tell me to-you did say, "well, call me naïve" during that particular conversation]].

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': Um, you know that's just a turn of phrase, right? I wasn't actually asking you to call me naïve.

'''Chris''': ''[watch as Alec's words bounce off Chris, like throwing ping-pong balls at a whale...]'' Mmkay. Well, you gave me the opportunity, so that's my defense right there.

'''Alec''': You should-

'''Chris''': ''(?)'' -agree on that.

'''Alec''': You should exercise some personal responsibility though, because, you know, you think 'naïve' is such a horrible thing, like, have you ever heard the phrase, uh, "just shoot me"? Like, you know, someone's frustrated, they'll say "just shoot me." I mean, if someone said that in your presence, would you feel, you know, okay with [[Liquid|"well, I'll just pull out a gun and shoot them"]]?

'''Chris''': No, not nec-no, not necessarily shoot them.

'''Alec''': "Not necessarily"? Does that mean you'd consider it?

'''Chris''': Mm. No, I would not shoot them at all.

'''Alec''': Well, I should hope not. I mean, you shot people in your comic before. I hope you wouldn't shoot them in real life.

'''Chris''': Date. ''(?)'' Anyway, uh, alright, so, anything else for this video, or I mean-''[mumbles]'' aside from before apologize for labeling you as having female prisoners in your basement and...raping.

'''Alec''': Um, yes. There is another item. I'd like you to admit that you don't have a good excuse to not upload pages every day.

'''Chris''': Mm.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': I mean, I think that's...correct, right? You don't have a job, you don't go to school. I have both, you know, school and a job, and I upload every day.

'''Chris''': Yeah. In my defense though, actually, [[Lie|yesterday I actually went on a nice d-on a date with a nice girl, and it was a great date, could have not gone better]].

'''Alec''': Oh, um, what was the date? Like all day, I mean, it wasn't like in the morning, was it? You could have uploaded in the morning.

'''Chris''': Yeah well I wa-Yeah well I was not up in the morning.

'''Alec''': Um, you didn't have, you know, any ti-What time did you wake up? How long do you sleep?

'''Chris''': ''[Unintelligible word mixing]'' Yeah, I woke up at about eleven.

'''Alec''': Yeah, well, that's not la-

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' And I had to go out and ru-I had to go-and I actually had to go out to run a couple of errands at the g-grocery store and also I had to go and get my family some anti-freeze for their car.

'''Alec''': Okay, well I-I have chores- ''[Can't make out over Chris's interruption]''

'''Chris''': And 'caus-and c-and the-and then with that I also had to take a shower and make myself fully ready for the date.

'''Alec''': Um ''[small sigh of disapproval]'' You know, when I-When I shower and clean myself up, that takes like 20 minutes. I-I, like I said, I have a job and school and I have errands to do and I go out with people and I go out on dates and I still make sure I upload every day. I mean, Sonichu is your-Think of-Think of it this way: Sonichu is gonna be your big franchise. That's what's gonna make you money, right? Um, so you should treat it like it is your...your day to day job.

'''Chris''': Yeah

'''Alec''': And ''[Chris interrupts again with another "Yeah"]'' You-When was the last day when you uploaded a page? It's been about a week, hasn't it? I mean, even if you had, you know ''[possibly "finished it"]'' yesterday...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting again]'' Well, in my-in my dis-yeeah-
=Part 3=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|f7g7qNG4lnU}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 2|part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==

'''Chris''': -Yeah, well, okay, I did update the CWCipedia day before yesterday.

'''Alec''': ''[interrupts]'' With new comic pages?

'''Chris''': I didn't necessarily upload. I made an ''update''.

'''Alec''': W-what kind of update did you make?

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': ''[unintelligible]'' the captain's log or a quote update.

'''Alec''': W-well, like, ''a quote''? Really? I mean...What does that take? 5 minutes?

'''Chris''': Yeah I mean, well-I mean uh-I-''[unintelligible]''-answer letters and ema-in-To answer mailbag letters but I just-

'''Alec''': ''[Interrupting]'' Yeah, you got some mail-You got some mailbags piling up too.

'''Chris''': I-I just-I just could not-I just could not stand the, uh, image that was plag-that was plaguing my CWCipedia, that Mao put up. ''[Disapproving "Um" from Alec]'' I just could not stand that.

'''Alec''': You know, Chris, if we confront our demons head on and defeat them, we come out stronger on the other side. You won't accomplish anything by running from the ads just 'cause they're unpleasant to look at. I mean ''[Chris puts in a "Right" quickly]'' Yo-You se-You know, this is the internet. You've seen tons of unpleasant crap, I'm sure ''I'' have. It doesn't stop me from ''[Chris quickly: "Yeah"]'' going on the internet. Um, a-and like I said; "Sonichu is serious business". It's your job. You should-and jo-Jobs are difficult. Jobs are hard. And... ''[Chris quickly: "Yeah"]'' I've had-I've had plenty of hard jobs. Like, you...I don't think you have any real work experience, right? But trust me, jobs are difficult.

'''Chris''': ''[Probably disregarding everything Alec has just said because he mentioned that Chris has never had a hard job and Chris has only ever had "hard working jobs"]'' Hmm. Yeah, anyway uh...Is there anything else?

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': Umm...Like I said, y-you know; Take Simonla out of the comic and, in the comic, apologize to me and Mao and Evan for...for everything I've listed.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

'''Alec''': And...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' I have the list here.

'''Alec''': Um, can I ask you what you're going to do to get your fans back? 'Cause you've lost a lot of fans to me and I know you want them back.

'''Chris''': Yeah, well, I'm going to change - I'm gonna continue my work and make my updates.

'''Alec''': 'kay, well, you've said that a lot in the past and your update pattern has ''drastically' dropped in the last couple of weeks.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I mean, it seems like... think of it this way, Chris: I'm... I am your competition, obviously, and it seems that with one little series of unpleasant ads, I have completely shut down my competition. Now, ''I'm'' a nice guy, and I'm trying to help you, and the average artist who would be your competition is ''sure as hell'' not going to help you. So, imagine if they found out 'Oh, all I have to do is buy some space on his wiki and put up an ad he doesn't like looking at'! And that'll stop his comic production entirely. I mean, are my ads really the only reason you haven't uploaded pages in a week? Yeah, well, that and your... busy day... ''[Chris tries to say something and fails]''

'''Chris''': The very dirty ones. Yeah.

'''Alec''': Um, pardon me for being blunt, but that's kind of pathetic, don't ya think?

'''Chris''': Erm... takes one to know one.

'''Alec''': 'Takes one' what? Pathetic person? I... I wouldn't consider myself pathetic, because I have 30,000 fans, the number of which I took from you. So, I don't think I'm pathetic at all. I mean, why do you think I'm pathetic?

'''Chris''': Hmm... ''[pause]'' I do not have a reason at the moment!

'''Alec''': *sighs* Well...

'''Chris''': But... but, yeah, you-you'd pretty much had to consider yourself weak to think that, you know, t-to, y-you know, you have a bunch of fans to steal someone else's.

'''Alec''': Um... how else will uh... fans come around, Chris? How else does any new franchise gets fans? They come from other sources. People, people are not living in a vacuum. Y'know, people, fans have been fans of other things. That's how competition works, the better man wins. I'm productive and I...

'''Chris''': L-Lemme... still, the ''[unintelligible]'' of whom, your ads on my website. That... that was just... that was like stealing from me.

'''Alec''': Um...

'''Chris''': Yeah, even though you paid to put the ads there, you didn't pay the [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]], you paid [[Jack Thaddeus]].

'''Alec''': Yeah. Yeah, I rented from Jack Thaddeus. That's how it works. And it turns out people like Asperchu, so... I mean, y'know... how do you think...? You watch a lot of TV, right? I mean, you see a lot of commercials. Do you think all those... people who make those commercials, y'know, Coke or McDonald's and all that think that they're bad people because they use ads? That what you're saying to me? That I am bad just because I use ads? Good franchises advertise their products.

'''Chris''': I'm not, I, I am not saying that, but if you consider me competition then it it would just, it's just terribly wrong for you to try to encourage my fans to go to you by putting, by putting your ads on your own competition space. Yeah, what if I had put up, like, I had actually successfully bought ads, put ads, bought ad space on your website, and put my ads on your website. How would you feel about that.

'''Alec''': Umm, honestly I don't think I'd be worried, because you don't respect your fans, and you don't update for weeks at a time.

'''Chris''': ''[sigh]''

'''Alec''': I think, I think my consistency, and my sticktoitiveness, and my uh, work ethic, y'know, is what makes my product superior. My fans would stay with me. I mean, they might go and locate your website, your cwcki if you put adverts on mine, but they probably wouldn't see much there worth keeping them around. There's a length of sonichu on the asperpedia front page too, if you hadn't noticed. I mean I'm not...

'''Chris''': Um... Anyway, okay well, yeah, alright, anyway, is there uh, yeah okay are we-

'''Alec''': [interrupting] There is another, there is another... I'm sorry, go ahead?

'''Chris''': Nah, no I'm sorry you go ahead, you said there's another thing?

'''Alec''': There's another item for your list, I want you to apologize to your fans for disrespecting them. You disrespect them in general, I mean, all the time but, it's your mailbags because you don't offer thought out responses, and you delete most of the mail that comes to you these days. And, I, um, there was a bit of a backlash with I think mailbag 50 or 51, whichever one that you fabricated, y'know, positive mails for instead of taking mails from the supply of existing mail. The one that you said, y'know, the one where you, you, you basically wanted all your writers to trash me. ''[pause]'' Which is another thing I would add to the list, but I think I already covered y'know, wanting you to apologize for devoting all your time to trolling me lately.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I mean every video that you've made, like y'know your videos might be 2 or 5 or 10 minutes long, and it probably takes quite a bit of time to upload the videos, y'know that's all time you could've spent making your comic which would've kept fans around. But instead, the average fan sees two artists; they see me who makes a good comic, and they see you who attempts to terrorize other artists.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': I see. Okay well...

'''Alec''': Did I... Go ahead, what're you thinking about that.

'''Chris''': Go ahead.

'''Alec''': No no, I had another subject to bring up, but I'd like to have your response to this first.

'''Chris''': No that's alright, you said you had another topic? Another thing for my list?

'''Alec''': No I'd like to have your response to that first. What are you... do you really think it was a good idea for you to devote what little energy you did put into this whole comic thing in the first place to, um, attacking me? I mean why would you think that was a good idea?

'''Chris''': Well because you attacked me first by putting your ads on my website.

'''Alec''': Uh, that wasn't an attack, that was just a good business move.

'''Chris''': Well to me it was an attack.

'''Alec''': Well... it seems like to you everything is an attack. Seems like to you everything is ''[unintelligible; fast?]'' when it's not. ''[Speaking over Chris as he tries to interrupt]'' Um, Chris, do you think that it's okay for, um, for you to use Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog as characters in your story? And Transformers and Meg Griffin... I mean, wouldn't their original creators get mad? That you're taking their characters?

'''Chris''': Well first off, we're talking about my own Autobots, my own Autobots-

=Part 4=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|c8wwB2opUUs}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 3|part 3]]
| next = [[#Part 5|Part 5]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Chris''': -my own Decepticons, with recoloring and different names, so they're not, so hasbro's not going to complain about that.

'''Alec''':You know that Hasbro owns the names "Autobot" and "Decepticon", right? Just using those names is already... taking from them. ''[Chris tries to interrupt]'' Even if- even if- What's that?

'''Chris''': I said, nobody's complainin' to me yet.

'''Alec''': Well, that's probably 'cause you haven't made money on ''Sonichu'' yet. If you- I promise if you made one dime on ''Sonichu'', umm... Hasbro and Sega and Nintendo... will come down on your head. Because you just recolored their characters.

'''Chris''': Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Or if it's, like-

'''Alec''': Chris, you can't afford to wait 'till you get to that bridge, because you've spent ''ten years'' devoting your life to this comic, which ''will'' unravel the instant you try to make money off it. Get one dime, lose fifty-thousand dollars in lawsuits. You need to... do something about it now, before you waste any more time and effort on a franchise that is full of, of stolen material!.

'''Chris''': Well, I'll think about that further.

'''Alec''': Chris, I'm trying to help you here. I mean it- ''[Chris tries to interrupt]'' -How many, how many times tonight have you said, you know "Oh, I'll think about that, anything else?" like you, I think you ''are'' trying to rush this phone call. Chris, I have- you've gotta admit, I've got the patience of a saint, to... keep calling you, and, keep trying to be nice to you. And, it seems like you have no concern for anything I say. I mean, keep in mind, I am- ''[Chris tries to interrupt again, succeeds]''

'''Chris''': I am- [[Lies|I have paid attention to everything you said]].

'''Alec''': But, it seems like you don't want to take my advice!

'''Chris''': Well, I am going to take your advice here.

'''Alec''': You mean, you're going to restructure your comic completely and remove all elements of- you know, that belong to other creators? 'Cause that would pretty much take apart your entire comic. What are you going to do? What's your plan, what are you going to to, to... umm... follow that advice?

'''Chris''': The reboot will happen in book number twelve.

'''Alec''': Oh, well... umm... Well, you're still working on book ten, right? So, you'll have that, and then all of book eleven... [He trails off and Chris resumes]

'''Chris''': Yeah, book eleven will be like a clip show- which will unravel some of those plots... nnn.... whatnot. And uh, answer some questions, and then book twelve is, like, restarting with just Sonichu and Rosechu, and me not gettin' involved that much.

'''Alec''': Okay, well... umm... is Sonichu still going to be a product of Pikachu and Sonic? 'Cause that's a problem right there.

[Long Pause]

'''Chris''': I do not have an answer to that question... at the moment.

'''Alec''': Chris, I suggest that you, that you... instead of going through the rest of the episodes and issues, or, Issue ten and eleven; I suggest that you stop it all right now and come up with a completely different comic. Because that's the only way you're going to get away from lawsuits. You gotta answer this problem, because... you know, Nintendo and Sega, Hasbro and ''Family Guy''... they're not going to wait. They're not, and you- and you know that when I say that you need to do a reboot, umm, you know I mean that all of the Sonichu comics that currently exist- you can ''never'' attempt to get punished. Published, I mean.

[Long silence, then they try to talk in unison]

'''Chris''': Yeah, everything you said has been taken to heart... umm... mmm... yeah-

'''Alec''': I kind of doubt that. You're... you've got this kind of lackadaisical tone you're taking with me right now. [Sigh] Chris- do you believe I'm trying to help you? [Chris tries to interrupt multiple times, loses] Do you care that I'm trying to help you?

'''Chris''': Yes, I care.

'''Alec''': Do you feel bad that you've treated me like shit, even though I've tried to help you countless times? [Long pause, Chris tries to talk, but Alec continues] You sound like an old child trying to get out of being lectured, which is why I keep asking this. Chris, I'd like you to make me- I'd like you to make me believe that you actually are listening and believe everything I say, and when I say "Listen", I don't mean, "You wrote down the list I asked you to and can repeat the words back to me", that's not what "Listening" means. "Listen" means: You are actually considering what I say.

'''Chris''': Well I am actually considering what you are saying.

'''Alec''': Prove it to me Chris.

'''Chris''': Okay... how do I prove it to you?

'''Alec''': Show some... ''[Chris tries to interrupt, but it is garbled]'' show some concern. I mean.... say something other than 'I will take it into consideration'. That's the same thing you say to your fans every time they suggest ideas to you in the mailbag. I don't think you do take anything I say into consideration. You know what... [sighs] my first few calls with you, I was like nice like this, and you were insulting to me. And then the next few times I tried to call you, I got mean and loud and yelled a lot, and then it seemed like you actually listened. And now I'm trying to be nice again because I didn't want to... I don't like being mean to people, y'know, and now it seems like you've stopped listening again. I think... I was hoping for the best, but I think I may have been right, I may have hit the nail on the head when I said that you seem to only listen to yelling and insults.

'''Chris''': Well that is not true. I do not listen to only yelling and insults.

'''Alec''': Y'know, I think you do. Because... y'know, people, I think a big problem a lot of people have is that they believe the way they behave is the way that everybody behaves-

=Part 5=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Z9Cpfn24k9c}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 4|part 4]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
}} </center>

==Transcript==
'''Alec''': -and the world they follow is the world everyone follows, and I think that because you rely on bullying and trolling and insulting and trying to make other people feel bad just to make yourself feel good... Because you practice all of those, I think that you believe that's the only set of rules that applies in the world.

'''Chris''': Well that is not the case.

'''Alec''': [''sarcastically''] You sound so convincing there, you really do.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Yeah... ''[laughs, then sighs]'' y'know... you seem to really care about what Mao says, and all Mao does is insult you. Did I tell you that to get rid of Simonla, I don't remember if I brought this up...

'''Chris''': [interrupting] Yeah, yes you did.

'''Alec''': Evan wants you to violently kill her in the comic? And display it, don't show it off screen or off panel, you have to show it in the comic, like show her head getting chopped off, or show her getting shot full of bullets, something like that.

'''Chris''': I will not kill her, but she will leave CWCville peacefully.

'''Alec''': Um, you have to kill her. You have to kill...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' I am not going... I am not going to kill her. I will let her leave...

'''Alec''': ''[Talking over Chris]'' Chris... no that's one of my terms. It's not like Poochie from the Simpsons where you can just take his frame out... Chris, you violently kill her, or Evan might come down on you and the CWCipedia. And I know you already got the CWCipedia shut down once when you tried to manipulate the ads. If you don't respect this now, it's gonna get shut down again, because Evan is going to come down on you. And he would've come down on you a long time ago, except I was trying to be the voice of peace and was holding his anger in check. And I'm not gonna do that now. Now I've learned my lesson, now I'm just telling you the terms. You either follow them, or face Evan's anger.

'''Chris''': Alright...

'''Alec''': So you're going to violently kill Simonla, right? And show it?

'''Chris''': That will happen, yes.

'''Alec''': Okay. Um, I suggest fire. I think that's always a good way to go to deal with characters that you want to get rid of. It's just, it's very visually, y'know, draws people in. Everybody loves fire. Sometimes I light people on fire in my comic, and every time I do, I get ALL this fanmail, just praising that one panel or that one page.

'''Chris''': Yeah.. well, I will think of tha- I will think of something. I will think about it. Alright...

'''Alec''': Can I have you one more time read off your list to me?

'''Chris''': Okay... ''[sigh]'' Admit Alec has sizable fanbase...

'''Alec''': Let's actually change that to 'admit Alec has a greater fanbase than you.' Let's just, because we should be specific.

'''Chris''': ...greater fanbase.

'''Alec''': Yup, bigger fanbase...

'''Chris''': That Chris can't...greater... said that, alright, anyway, that, address permission of Sonichu use, but then it was withdrawn, and uh, admit Simonla was not mine, uh, admit amending Simonla article, uh remove Simonla by death, apologize to you for calling you naïve, apologize to Mao with a forgiveness blessing to undo the curse, apologize for ''[unintelligible]'' Asperchu and parodic characters, make a comic page explaining all that, I just apologize to you for impersonating to be my mother to get out of the last phone call, apologize for insinuating female impri-impri-imprisonment and rape on you, admit to having no excuse for not updating on... uh, as often as I should, and apologize to my fans for disrespecting them in mailbags and delayed updates.

'''Alec''': Uhm and, when you make this video, make sure that you're wearing your Sonichu medallion and your high school ring so everyone knows it's true, and I don't wanna see any of that Groucho Marx glasses bullshit. Because you've done that before. This video, I don't want any way for you to weasel out of this video.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': This video will stand for all time.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': And, oh and, one last thing. I'd like you to admit that Sonichu is a doomed franchise and you have no way of actually profiting from it or publishing it without getting sued six ways from Sunday by the real owners of the products you use.

'''Chris''': ''[meekly]''...um, yeah.

'''Alec''': That's the final thing for the list.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Uhm, okay, so and... so it sounds like you've got the list comprehensive, which is good, I'm glad you've got that written down. And I just wanna emphasize again that you will do all of those items, both in a video and in your comic, and if you do it all perfectly, exactly the way I've laid out for you, and I don't sense you're trying to weasel out of anything or trying to pull a fast one on me, I will remove all my ads. I will release my contract with Jack. But if you do try to pull anything, then the ads are going to get worse. Because despite the fact that I am trying to be calm with you, I am still very angry with you, and if you try to pull anything on me, then I am going to punish you for it.

'''Chris''': Okay, alright, okay, okay well, I'll do all that, and I'll talk to you later.

'''Alec''': Alright. Well I look forward to seeing the ad and the comic.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': Alright, you have a good night Chris.

'''Chris''': And you too.

''[Tape ends]''

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|Chris and Alec Call 5]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|}}

=External Links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?as656t7bsbeu1o7 Audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBPdXXFnvzU The Call on Youtube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5

2012-06-28T07:41:00Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5''' is the fifth of the phone calls between Alec and Chris, which took place on 2 February 2010.

==Summary==

This call comes after Chris's [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|first apology video]], the making of which Alec and Chris discussed in their previous phone call. Alec is obviously annoyed with [[Chris]] to the point of berating him like he's a child, which becomes a recurring theme in their subsequent conversations. Alec calls Chris a [[troll]] and a bully and is upset that he decided to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|curse Mao]]. He is also upset that the apology video was missing key elements which Alec requested as well as containing subjects such as belittling Alec's fanbase as well as not apologizing to [[Evan]] in the comic.

Eventually, Chris steals a page from [[Wikipedia:Norman Bates|Norman Bates]] as he tries to impersonate [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in order to get off the phone with Alec. Note that pretending to be a woman doesn't require him to change the pitch of his voice.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|043M89cXAlU}}
| Stardate = 02 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

 '''Alec''': It's Alec. How are you?

 '''Chris''': Hey Alec. I'm doing okay, how are you?

 '''Alec''': I'm good, I'm good. Yeah... So, uh... I saw your apology video.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, um... You were... I'm glad that uh, you know you got some things there but you're missing a couple of things from the video.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... I missed a couple of things...

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, yeah... A few things actually. Um, you know I asked you to apologize for the word 'naïve'. You didn't do that.

 '''Chris''': Oh, okay.

 '''Alec''': 'Cause, you know...

 '''Chris''': My bad.

 '''Alec''': Yep, yeah, it is your bad. 'Cause that word is such a huge deal to you I wanted you to mention that specifically. Pretty sure I said that.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Another thing you said, you said my, "quote unquote fanmail", which, I didn't like that. It was like you were suggesting that I don't actually have real fans. That's... that's not nice, Chris.

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Well, I did not mean that.

 '''Alec''': Well, why'd you say it?

[''After long pause, both interrupt each other'']

 '''Alec''': I don't really like going through this, y'know, night after night, Chris. I mean it... I shouldn't have to tell these things over and over. You know. You tell a kid things over and over

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': An adult-A man should, y'know, listen once and know what to do.

 '''Chris''': Yep.

 '''Alec''': Um... Let's see, what else. Well apparently you... You made a video right before I talked to you cursing Mao. That wasn't good either, Chris. I mean I-I don't think I specifically mentioned Mao when I talked to you but I think you should have been able to infer that I don't want you cursing him either.

 '''Chris''': I see.

 '''Alec''': You know, I used-I used to-

 '''Chris''': But he put-he put-he put up a bunch of dicks on my CWCipedia yesterday!

 '''Alec''': I used to think that Mao was being too mean with you. I used to kinda sympathize with you about how Mao was being mean to you, but then I realized that, uh, you're a bully and you don't respond to anything except, uh, you know, mean things like that. Now, I kind of think Mao had the right idea. 'Cause I was trying to be nice to you and all you did was insult me.

 '''Chris''': No, you misunderstand me. I am not a bully.

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh you're not? Death threats, that's not-

 '''Chris''': I am not a bully!

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh no, no, of course not. Hacking into my computer, breaking into my house... Bullies don't do that, do they? ''[Chris tries to get in a word edgewise, but fails]'' I guess technically that's true, bullies don't do that, hardened criminals do things like that. Which is, you know, worse than a bully. You are a troll, though. That's for certain.

 '''Chris''': I am not a troll!

 '''Alec''': Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.

 '''Chris''': Although I did... Although I will apologize...

 '''Alec''': Ever since Asperchu appeared you've being doing nothing but trying to shut me down. Just like the trolls that try to shut you down.

 '''Chris''': ''[Mumbles something]''

 '''Alec''': But you know, but the great Christian Weston Chandler, he's perfect, you know. Nobody can... Can attack him or parody him, but if someone else does something that he doesn't like, doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with him... There's gonna be hell to pay. You wanna hack my website, hack my X-Box account, steal some dating game I don't even have... I don't need, you know, dating sims by the way... And destroy my console. That's not the work of a bully or a troll at all, is it?

 '''Chris''': I-I said that the idea was in my head, I never said I would actually to do it.

 '''Alec''': Your idea was in your comic, you put it out there for everyone to read. It-it wasn't just in your head. And hey, I thought, I thought that, uh, comics were real. Comics are just as real as real people, right? So, if you draw it on paper, then it must be the same thing as wanting to actually act on it in real life, right? Isn't that how that works? You made all of your characters slander me.

 '''Chris''': Uh, excuse me a moment. Yes? [''Chris walks away from the phone and does a horrible impression of his mother''] Hey! Hey Christian, listen. I need you to go clean up kitty's poo in the kitchen. Oh, okay mom, I'll take care of it. And let the kitty out, would ya? Sure, I'll be right out there. [''Chris comes back to the phone''] Uh, yeah, my mom's telling me I've gotta go clean up kitty's poo, I've gotta go, so uh... Is there a number I can call you back at? So I can talk to you later?

 '''Alec''': Um, I really don't want to give you a number 'cause you troll me on the internet already, you'll probably troll me on the phone if I gave you my contact number. You know what? You know, you go ahead... Y-you go ahead, I know, I know letting the cat out is probably gonna be hard work and is gonna make you want to sleep 'cause I know your biological clock is, is you know, is all whacked out from all your stress. 'Cause I know it's stressful, uh, trolling me... So.

 '''Chris''': I'm not trolling you. But anyway. Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Oh... The hell...

 '''Chris''': But anyway. Other questions that you have you send them to my e-mail...

 '''Alec''': Okay, well, Chris? I-I wanna let you know that, um, that your apology video was not satisfactory, and you haven't even apologized to Evan at all in your comic like I asked you to. So you go ahead and go, and I'll talk to you later. I'll call you when you don't-

 '''Chris''': Well yeah, but by the way-by the way I unblocked your e-mail, so you can send-send your own-send your thoughts in typing as well.

 '''Alec''': Oh. I'll... Well, you know... Such a gracious, uh-

 '''Chris''': Never mind, I'll-

 '''Alec''': Such a- such a gracious... Allowance that you made there.

[''-Tape Ends-'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|Chris and Alec Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?9b4vn8rxmv2pwhd Full Audio of the Call]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043M89cXAlU The Call on Youtube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4

2012-06-28T07:40:05Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4''' is the fourth of the seven leaked phone calls between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 1 February 2010. In this conversation, they mainly discuss the apology video that Alec required of Chris as a condition for removing [[Asperpedia]]'s advertisements from the front page of the [[CWCipedia]].

==Summary==

Chris's attitude throughout the conversation is that of a small child being disciplined. He clearly feels no remorse for the various insults and death threats he's thrown at Alec and his associates, and he seems to barely even understand why [[Evan]] wants him to stop abusing his Simonchu character. He also apparently thinks that everyone should automatically believe his "[[Lie|retraction]]" of the truth about [[Simonla Rosechu]]'s origins.

Alec attempts to explain the concepts of parody and plagiarism to Chris through a simple object lesson, but it's obvious that nothing sinks in. Chris doesn't seem to have any grasp of the issue beyond believing that he should be able to do what he wants, while others should do what he wants them to.

Towards the end of the call, Chris takes off on a tangent, demanding that Alec make some sort of concession as far as his parodies of Chris's characters in the Asperchu comics. Alec cuts him off short, however, refusing to agree to anything until Chris delivers his apology.

Said apology would take the form of the video Chris released on [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|1 February 2010]], where he hit some, but not all of the points Alec asked him to. There, Chris showed about as much remorse as he does here, which is to say none at all.

=Part 1=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|18pBOGTVDYo}}
| Stardate = 01 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

[''We join the conversation in progress.'']

'''Chris''': ...that at him. 
'''Alec''': Yeah, well, you guess...guess what, Chris. Those ads aren't going anywhere until you answer a few questions of mine. 'Cause I'm sick of being nice to you. 
'''Chris''': What are you... 
'''Alec''': I've been nice... 
'''Chris''': Well, what are your questions? 
'''Alec''': I've been nice to you for too long. Well, first of all, your apology video. Completely unsatisfactory. You didn't mention anything of what you were apologizing for. You just said, "Oh, I'm apologizing for some of the things I said." Is that supposed to include the death threats, Chris? 'Cause you should probably mention that specifically. 
'''Chris''': Yes, it did include the past death threats. 
'''Alec''': Okay, well, I think you should make a better apology video, and in your second apology video... 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Alec''': ...I want you to, um, not spend 80 percent of the video making demands of me. 'Cause, see, an apology video should be just that. It should be apologizing for when you did something wrong. Do you think you've done something wrong to me, Chris? Do you think you have? I think you have. 
'''Chris''': Do I think I have, do I think I have done anything wrong to you? 
'''Alec''': Yes. Do you think that? 
'''Chris''': Why yes I, yes, I admit that I have done wrong to you, Alec. 
'''Alec''': Okay. 
'''Chris''': By mis-, by mislabelings and, and mistakes and errors, and I apologize for that. 
'''Alec''': Mislabelings. Kinda like what a troll would do. Isn't that right? Why don't you list all the things you did wrong? List them specifically. 'Cause, 'cause I want to make sure. You know, I don't want to just tell you to make a more specific video if you don't know specifically. So please list the things you think you did wrong to me. 
'''Chris''': Okay, I will. [''pause''] 
'''Alec''': I'm waiting. 
'''Chris''': Do you mean... 
'''Alec''': I mean list now, I'd like to hear you say now. 
'''Chris''': Alright Alec, I'm sorry for mislabeling you, and giving you your, giving you death threats. 
'''Alec''': What did you mislabel me as, Chris? 
'''Chris''': [''sighs, his tone becomes exasperated''] Mislabeling, mislabeling you as a villain type of person. 
'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, that was pretty bad of you, wasn't it? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. [''pause''] 
'''Alec''': Okay, continue. 
'''Chris''': Alright. Anything else? 
'''Alec''': I'm asking you, I'm asking you to continue with the list. 
'''Chris''': Oh. [''Chris pauses, sighs heavily, then begins to mutter under his breath.''] Uh, let's see, death threats, mislabeling, calling you, making you out like a villain... 
'''Alec''': How about, uh...here's a hint. Uhm, is there, is there anyone close to me? A friend, perhaps, that maybe you've mislabeled as well? That you've done wrong against? Can you think of any? 
'''Chris''': Let me guess, Evan? 
'''Alec''': You got it right, you got it right. You have wronged Evan. Do you know how you have wronged Evan? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh, long pause''] For labeling him as... 
'''Alec''': Not that hard. 
'''Chris''': ...the origin point for Simonla 
'''Alec''': Um, no, actually. Actually, that was the correct thing. That was the one correct thing you did, was labeling him as the origin point of Simonla, 'cause that's what he was. 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Alec''': What's the wrong thing you did to him? 
'''Chris''': Hm... I yelled at him too! Then you made that... 
'''Alec''': [''talking over Chris''] Uh, there's a, there's a bigger issue. You stole, you stole Simonchu from him. There, I gave that one to you. And you won't give his character back. What do you think of that? 
'''Chris''': He can have, he can have his Simonchu! 
'''Alec''': Simonla. Simonla ''is'' Simonchu. You just, you just took his Simonchu and twisted it around. 
'''Chris''': No I did not. Simonla is not Simonchu. 
'''Alec''': That's what your Simonchu article on your CWCipedia says. Says Simonla is based off Simonchu. 
'''Chris''': Well, I don't know... 
'''Alec''': [''talking over Chris again''] You know, Chris, I find this... Chris. I told you last time. It doesn't matter if you go changing the article now. That doesn't change what was in the past. You cannot write a new article in the present and change what happened in the past. You used Simonchu as is the basis of Simonla. 
'''Chris''': Yes I can, I can call a retraction to that. Yes I can, I called a retraction! 
'''Alec''': Simonla is based off Simonchu. Doesn't matter. Okay, Chris, let me, let me think of an example for you. Let's say that I take [[Family Guy]] and, you know Peter Griffin on Family Guy? Let's say that I make a comic and I just use Peter Griffin as my main character in my comic. And I do that for a few years. And then Seth MacFarlane comes knockin' on my door and says, "Hey, you didn't ask for permission to use Peter Griffin." Do you think it's okay for me to just right then change it and say, "Oh, okay, I'm just gonna pretend like I never based my Peter Griffin off of Family Guy." Do you think that would solve the problem? You can't retract a fact! 
'''Chris''': I guess... Hm. 
'''Alec''': Does that make sense? I find it, I think, personally, I am most offended by your accusations of me stealing your Sonichu, and of Asperchu being a theft of you and all of that, when all along you have been stealing Simonchu from someone else. Why is plagiarism okay for you, if it's not okay for anyone else? Why is "[[parody]]"... 
'''Chris''': Sorry, I'm not, I'm just... 
'''Alec''': Okay, Chris, why is "parody" and plagiarism, why are those concepts okay for you to do, but they're not okay for anyone else to do? Will you tell me that? 
'''Chris''': Hmm. Hmm. Okay, I guess I cannot think of a good answer for that. 
'''Alec''': Yeah. That's because there really isn't one. You understand that, right? The same rules have to apply to everyone. You don't get different rules than other artists. You need to atone for your mistakes. 
'''Chris''': Yeah... 
'''Alec''': I want you to, one of these things I want you to do before I take, have Mao take down the ads. I want you to, in your comic, issue a full apology to Evan, and admit that Simonla and Simonchu are not your characters, and you used them wrongfully, without his permission, and you are going to retire them. Not really that hard to do. I mean, Simonla hasn't even appeared in your comic recently, so it's not like you're, you're gonna hurt your plotline if you just issue an admission that you're not gonna use her anymore. 
'''Chris''': Hmm. Well, I'll think about that. 
'''Alec''': Not good enough. My ads aren't going down unless you say yes to that. That's one of my conditions. I have several. Because I've got several problems with you. 
'''Chris''': Yep. Anyway, yeah, I will think about that. 
'''Alec''': Okay. Another problem, I want you to apologize to me for calling me [[naïve]]. 
'''Chris''': Okay, I will try... 
'''Alec''': You remember when I tried to talk to you about that? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm sorry for calling you... 
'''Alec''': You remember when I tried to talk to you about that, when you hung up on me? Because you think "naïve" is such a horrible insult... 
'''Chris''': Okay, I'm sorry I called you naïve. 
'''Alec''': Do you believe I am naïve? 
'''Chris''': ...I'm sorry for calling you naïve. No, I do not believe you are naïve. 
'''Alec''': Well, good. You know, I don't think "naïve" is that bad of a word, but what means the most is that you think it's a bad thing, and you still used it. 
'''Chris''': Hmm. 
'''Alec''': You meant it to be a horrible insult, that's the problem here. I want you to put that in your new apology video for me. 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Alec''': You might want to get a pen and paper and just write these things down, because there's a few points here. I don't want you to forget any of them. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. I owe you an, I'm going to... 
'''Alec''': You can't just apologize to me over the phone, you have... 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm writing it down. 
'''Alec''': Okay. Are you writing it down now? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Alec''': What are the main things that I want you to do? List them off to me, just so I know that you're with me so far. 
'''Chris''': Okay, I'm apologizing for giving you death, for cursing you, giving you death threats, calling you naïve... 

=Part 2=
==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|e7pxNV8EErw}}
| Stardate = 01 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===
'''Alec''': Mm-hm. What else are you going to do for me? 
'''Chris''': [''angry short sigh''] Labeling your comics as plagiaration of my Sonichu character and myself. And apologizing to Evan. 
'''Alec''': You're going to admit that Asperchu is original? 
'''Chris''': I'll admit Asperchu is your original character. 
'''Alec''': And what else about Evan? You're going to apologize to him, but what else are you going to do for him? 
'''Chris''': Yeah...yeah, I'm going to apologize to him, and he can have his Simonchu. 
'''Alec''': Yes, he can have it, but what are you going to do? You're going to admit publicly that Simonchu is not yours to use, and you were wrong to do it. Right? 
'''Chris''': Right. Simonchu is not mine. 
'''Alec''': You're gonna put that in the video, and I also want you to put that in the comic. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. 
'''Alec''': Good. I'm glad. We're getting somewhere, Chris. I'm glad about this. 
'''Chris''': Okay. 
'''Alec''': It feels like you're finally starting to listen to me a little bit, because you haven't been listening to me. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Alec''': You know, I thought about what you said. About how Asperchu wouldn't like to be named Asperchu. I thought that I might write it into my comic, I might have Asperchu say that he likes his name. That would probably clear that problem up, don't you think? 
'''Chris''': Uh... I guess so. 
'''Alec''': Because I don't... Does that make sense to you? 'Cause I don't know if I believe this "comic characters are real" thing, but in case they are, you know, that's a good way to go, wouldn't you agree? 
'''Chris''': Fairly. 
'''Alec''': Fairly? Makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, if Asperchu says, out loud, he likes his name, then there's no way he could be lying. 
'''Chris''': Hmm. 
'''Alec''': I mean, you're always filling in Sonichu's speech bubbles, so whatever Sonichu says must be correct, right? Sonichu says he likes something, then he likes something. So if Asperchu says, in my comic, that he likes his name, then he likes his name. 
'''Chris''': Okay, then. 
'''Alec''': Wouldn't you agree? 
'''Chris''': I thought, yeh, yeah, as long as, yeah, okay, well, just don't make any references of, you know, of my city of CWCville, or saying that my, my original Sonichu is related to Asperchu. Just, you know... [''sigh''] 
'''Alec''': Um, well, like we talked about... 
'''Chris''': You know, okay, this is like, you know, say, like, you know... Yeah. I'm just saying that they're not the original characters and just... 
'''Alec''': Like we talked about before, well, you already admitted that, you already stated that the Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo and everything else that appears in my comic are just copies or not connected to you. So it really doesn't matter what I do with my Sonichu and my CWCville and all that, does it? 
'''Chris''': No. 
'''Alec''': 'Cause they're different that yours. 
'''Chris''': Your CWCville is mine and the Chaotic Combo is mine. They're, they originally were mine. 
'''Alec''': You said the ones that I'm using is different, though. That's the one that you tried to steal from me, remember? 
'''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
'''Alec''': You should probably also add this to your list, actually, you should probably apologize for stealing things from me, all the while you're trying to fight me stealing things from you. I think that's a good thing to add to your apology list. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, okay, well, just do me a favor for, okay, before the re-creation of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in your book, just, just establish that they're not the ones from CWCville, they're just from another, they're from... 
'''Alec''': I'm not gonna consider doing a damn thing for you until I see this apology video and I'm satisfied with it. 
'''Chris''': Alright, you will see the apology video. 
'''Alec''': Because I know you've weaseled out of apologies before. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''Alec''': If I'm not satisfied with the apology video, I'm gonna call you back and tell you that you need to do it again. So you might as well do it correct. Exactly correct the first time around. 
'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay. I get it. 
'''Alec''': Does that sound fair to you? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. I'll get to work on that, and, uh, I'll have it up late tonight. 
'''Alec''': Tonight, tomorrow, whenever you want. It's your schedule. 
'''Chris''': Okay. Alright, I gotta go now. You take care, bye-bye.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|Chris and Alec Call 5]]|}}

=External links=
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?hb54dyq7l410ctt The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pBOGTVDYo The Call on Youtube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3

2012-06-28T07:38:53Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3''' is the third call between [[Chris]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]], which took place on 30 [[January 2010]].

==Summary==

In this conversation, Alec and Chris touch on several topics. They cover one of Chris's earlier attempts to apologize on video, the disposition of Chris's ripped-off character [[Simonla Rosechu]], Chris's attacks on Alec in the [[Mailbag]] and elsewhere, and the slack-tastic schedule Chris favors when it comes to updating [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]].

At this point in their dispute, Chris seems to believe he still has cards to play as far as negotiating with Alec, [[Evan]], and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] crew for the removal of the ads they placed on the [[CWCipedia]]. He is adamant in his refusal to do away with Simonla despite Evan's demands, and he believes that by updating her page on the CWCipedia he will be able to wipe the truth about her origins from history.

When Alec turns to discussing Chris's attacks on him, Chris quickly shifts into his standard woe-is-me mode, whining about the [[troll]]s, the [[ED]] page and so forth. Alec observes that Chris has used the CWCipedia to attack him in the same way that Chris's detractors have used ED, a cogent point that flies several miles over Chris's head.

The call concludes after more whining from Chris about his [[biological clock]]. Chris claims to be expecting another caller and hangs up. Later speculation centered around [[The Wallflower]] as the mystery caller.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|2XaH3RRyXZ0}}
| Stardate = 30 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''Alec''': Hey uh Chris, it's Alec... How are you doin'?

 '''Chris''': Oh, hi, Alec. Umm, yeah, I'm doing okay. Umm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, listen, [[Lie|I'm expecting a call in a couple, in a couple of minutes,]] so...uh... Okay, well, what's, what else is on your mind?

 '''Alec''': Well, I saw you made an apology video.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': So, uh, thank you for that. Um... You know, I'm a little concerned that maybe you didn't cover all the points that, that we, that I talked to you about. I think, uh... Well, you know, you did apologize, but I'm not really sure the people are going to understand what you, you were apologizing for. 'Cause you mentioned just like... You said, "I apologize for some of the things I said." [''pause''] You know what I mean?

 '''Chris''': Indeed. Well, I'll make it more specific in the...

 '''Alec''': I'd appreciate that.

'''Chris''': ...in the videos that go along with this video. Okay. I'll take that, I'll take that, [''unintelligible tard-speak''], I'll take that tomorrow.

 '''Alec''': Well, I'd appreciate that. Um, I also do think that, like we were talking about Evan yesterday, I think it would be a good idea to mention him specifically in the apology video. Um, just about...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Okay, but, okay, but... Okay. But '''Simonla stays'''.

 '''Alec''': Well, um... You know, that's between you and Evan, but as far as I know, he's, he's not going to be happy with that.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well I'm just say, yeah, well I'm just... You can relay that to him.

 '''Alec''': Alright, I can let him know, but, like I said, I think you should, you should really hammer that out with him. [''pause''] 'Cause you know, like I said, it is on the CWCki there that you did get Simonla as a, as a direct, you know, inspiration from Simonchu.

 '''Chris''': Right.

 '''Alec''': Yeah.

 '''Chris''': I'll fix that tomorrow as well.

 '''Alec''': Well, um, like I said, Chris, you cant really go back and change history. What's there is there. [''long pause''] You know what I mean? I understand you said that it was, that you were, you were making fun of Evan with that, but, I mean, you wrote it as if it was true...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] I was, I never, I never... Actually, I never was making fun of anybody with that.

 '''Alec''': Well, I thought you said yesterday that, uh, you meant it as a mockery of Evan.

 '''Chris''': No, I did not.

 '''Alec''': You did not?

 '''Chris''': Yes. I did not.

 '''Alec''': Okay. So why, then, does the Simonla article say that it was inspired by Evan's work?

'''Chris''': [''long pause''] Well that does need to be corrected, and I will correct it. Tomorrow.

 '''Alec''': Okay, I'm just... I'm asking, why was it there in the first place, though? [''long pause''] You know what I mean? 'Cause this has just caused a huge hubbub, and it's just, it kinda sucks.

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts again''] Yes, well, anyway, it will be, it will be corrected.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that you used Simonchu as inspiration. I'm just trying to warn you, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Alright.

 '''Alec''': You know, you've been... You know... I'd like kinda to talk about me a little bit. I think I've been talking to you about your issues quite enough, honestly. If you don't mind I'd like to bring up, ah... [''pauses to shift gears''] You know, I'm a little angry with you, Chris. For, for a number of reasons. Um, you've been calling me naïve quite a bit, you know, in our past couple of conversations, and as I understand, you, you consider that to be, you know, one of the worst insults that a person can call someone. Yet you use it on me [''Chris tries to break in.''] repeatedly.

 '''Chris''': It is my least fav-, it is my least favorite word of all time.

 '''Alec''': Well, why did you feel it was appropriate to use it, uh, on me? I don't consider myself...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Because you not, because you not, because you do not have as much experiences as I have had. You have not been deceived by trolls. You do not have an, a page that slanders against your good name turning ya into '''a mockery!''' You've never been, you've never had...

 '''Alec''': Really? It seems to me that the CWCipedia itself is turning into a page to slander me. What do you have to say about that?

 '''Chris''': I'm sorry, I did not understand that last statement.

 '''Alec''': It seems that the CWCipedia itself is turning into a website to mock and derail me. You know, I saw your Mailbag 50 that you uploaded, um, which was, you know, an ideal Mailbag in your eyes, you know? What you want questions to be about. And as far as I can tell, the entire purpose of that Mailbag was just to talk about how much I suck and how much better you are than me. Is that really what you want your Mailbags to be?

 '''Chris''': Part of the way. Part of the way, but those questions are actually real. And they have come from a Sonichu fan forum, of those that are still loyal to me. And they actually think that way.

 '''Alec''': Alright, but it's not totally representative of all your letters when you only have letters talking about how bad my comic is.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but you see, see for one thing you don't go off the topic with issues like homo-, like homosettsuality, or mislabeling me as a homosettsual.

 '''Alec''': How can you go off-topic, really? Because people are just asking you general questions. There really wasn't a topic to begin with. People ask you questions about subjects maybe that are a little unpleasant to you, but that's just 'cause they wanna know things.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but on those points I cannot really answer those questions, now can I?

 '''Alec''': Well, I don't know. I mean, why can't you answer those kind of questions?

 '''Chris''': Because they are, because they were complicated to me and I could not really comprehend them fully to come up with a sound answer.

 '''Alec''': Um... [''deep breath''] Okay, well, could you give me an example of a question that's a little too complex? I'm just curious.

 '''Chris''': Hmm. Taking the one of the letters that I had deleted or moved to the reject section. Read that to, read that to...

 '''Alec''': [''interrupts''] I can't really look at the letters that you deleted. But I can look at the rejected ones, I suppose.

 '''Chris''': Actually you can, you just have to go up to the history tab for that Mailbag. For one Mailbag out of all those Mailbags.

 '''Alec''': That's a little inconvenient, ya know?

 '''Chris''': It becomes obvious. You know, anytime before I answered and edited it.

 '''Alec''': Like, uh... Well, I can just come up with a general topic, I guess, as an example. People have been asking you, uh... I don't know... About Rosechu for example. That whole gender nonsense about, you know, about the Raichu being a male and things like that. And I know you said that...

 '''Chris''': The Raichu was actually ''female''!

 '''Alec''': Well, I take your word for it. I don't wanna get into that, because we did, you know, draw that out last time. So.

 '''Chris''': Okay.

 '''Alec''': You know, I think that you seem to get stressed out when people tell how much they like my comic. Now, if I were in your shoes, I would take that as a compliment, because my comic was inspired by your work. But you seem to think it's a bad thing that people like me at all. You seem to want people to hate me.

 '''Chris''': Well, yeah, that's another, that's another thing. They confuse, they confuse your character, Asperchu, they're saying that it's my character when I have to tell them that it's not. That character is your character.

 '''Alec''': Well, I don't want to people to think that. I understand that, definitely. I've been telling people, you know, Asperchu is original and he's not related to you or Sonichu in any way. So, we can't reach everybody but we're definitely trying.

 '''Chris''': Alright.

 '''Alec''': The people keep... People still to this day write me and think Asperchu is a parody of you and that's just not the case. So I do understand your annoyance with that subject. 'Cause I do kinda...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Yeah. Okay, well, listen, okay, anyway, listen, I gotta go, I'm accepting a call. So I'll talk to you another time.

 '''Alec''': Alright. Uh, I do have one quick question. You know, when I talk to you, you usually want me to call you right about 9:30, is that right? But usually I try to call you then and you don't answer. Is that still a good time to talk to you?

 '''Chris''': Yes, unless I'm updating the CWCipedia. Which in that case I cannot get to my phone. Last night. And last night actually, I actually was updating the CWCipedia.

 '''Alec''': Uh... [''sigh''] Alright. Well, I've tried to call you several nights before then as well and got no answer. I know you weren't uploading... [Chris attempts to interrupt] I know you weren't uploading pages.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Okay, well, anyway, I actually was uploading pages last night.

 '''Alec''': Well, last night, not the previous several nights.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but it was still two pages a day, three days, there you guy.

 '''Alec''': I still gotta recommend that you try for consistency over just bulk quantity, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, my biological, yeah, so my biological clock has been changing, it's making me go to bed earlier.

 '''Alec''': Why is it?

 '''Chris''': I had to reschedule...

 '''Alec''': Why is it changing? Do you have, is there some big change in your schedule? Have you started a job or anything? Because sometimes that does it.

 '''Chris''': [''suddenly high-pitched and whiny''] I have been, I have been crashing earlier. I usually would stay up 'til, I used to stay up 'til about four o'clock, now it's like I'm crashing before midnight.

 '''Alec''': Well, that's still pretty late. I mean, I usually go to bed at, like, eleven, and I still get pages uploaded.

 '''Chris''': Anyway, I gotta go, I'll talk to you another time.

[''Tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Alec Call 2]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|Chris and Alec Call 4]]|}}

==External Links==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?9f53lnl1amecuk3 Audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XaH3RRyXZ0 YouTube link]
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2

2012-06-28T07:37:13Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2''' is the second of the calls between Chris and [[Alec Benson Leary]], which took place on 28 [[January 2010]].

==Summary==
[[Image:Toontown.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]
Alec lets Chris ramble on about the ads on the [[CWCipedia]] again before the topic changes to subjects that make Chris feel uncomfortable in his [[Mailbag]]. On the subject of [[Rosechu]]'s gender and pointed tail, Chris attempts to get Alec to believe he meant for the original Raichu's tail to be dull all along and becomes angry when Alec points out that he is lying.

Chris goes on to discuss how he feels that [[Asperchu]] is a [[Chris and reality|living, breathing creature in another universe with thoughts and feelings who wouldn't want to be named "Asperchu."]] Alec claims that Asperchu is unable to have a desire to be named something else because Asperchu doesn't exist, and Chris responds by repeatedly calling him "[[naïve]]" for not believing in a cartoon world similar to that seen in ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''.

They both agree to disagree, then move on to the lack of updates in [[Sonichu]]. Chris blames his [[biological clock]] for his inability to upload new pages and explains how the [[Chris and writing|creative process]] of his work requires a pain-staking thirty minutes of typing dialogue. Chris admits to using Photoshop, but says that since his comics are [[Chris and art|hand-drawn and hand-colored]], in his [[TRUE and HONEST]] opinion (and that of [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]], apparently) ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' is the superior comic. Alec points out that he draws his comics by hand, even if it's with a [[Wikipedia:Graphics tablet|graphics tablet]], and that his art doesn't have any less "personality" than Chris's work.

Chris returns to complaining about the [[CWCipedia]] adspace, hinting that the only real reason he's negotiating with Alec at all is to get the Asperpedia ads removed. Alec brings up [[Simonchu]], and Chris falsely<ref>[[:File:Fkinglie.png]]</ref> denies [[Simonla]] was ever inspired by Simonchu. When that Alec explains that Evan wants Simonchu and Simonla written out of the comic, and that Evan may consider taking [[Chris and the law|legal action]], Chris replies with "I'll think about it". Unsurprisingly, Evan did take [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Closed (For Good) Due To Theft|legal action]].
{{Clear}}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|LGB99JTZJes}}
| Stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]]
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

[[Image:comparison.jpg|thumb|He might have a point here]]
=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hi, is this, uh, is this Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, this is Christian Chandler, may I help you?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, this is Alec Benson Leary again, how are you?

'''Chris:''' Oh! I would have expected you to call at 9:30, uh, but anyway...

'''Alec:''' Oh! I actually did try to call at 9:30, didn't get an answer so I thought I'd try again, you-you're quite a difficult man to get a hold of, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Hmm... Yeah, I can talk for a few minutes, so let's try not to belabor this conversation.

'''Alec:''' Not at all, I don't... I don't wanna drag anything out. Um, well first I'll ask you if you have anything, uh, specific that you want to bring up, cause I know that you had to go kinda abruptly last time, and I thought maybe that there was a point you didn't get to or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay... Wanna go ahead with that?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well first off, you know...you know I have, um...I have gone to the CWCipedia recently, its the Ads are still super-sized, but, they are more of a mockery towards me now, and I do not appreciate that.

'''Alec:''' Yeeeaaah, I'm sorry about that, [[Mao]] is kinda, he got a little bit of a temper, you know, h-he-he is kinda mad about this whole... the [[mailbag]] situation, emails getting deleted and all that sort of thing. You know, I-I-I um, I saw in, uh, one of your mailbags, that you said that I delete, or uh, modify a lot of my e-mails. I don't know where you got that impression, actually, I don't do that. You know, I try to answer every e-mail I get thoughtfully, and fully.

'''Chris:''' Well, that's probably easy for you...probably easier for you because, yours are not as... mean and cruel and condescending as the ones I have been getting.

'''Alec:''' Have you been getting a lot of mean ones that have not been go into the mailbag? Cause, the ones I've see... a lot of them, well they do get critical at points, but I... I dunno, it seems like they been, they just kinda wanna, you know, have some questions answered.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, But I wish they wouldn't have'ta go so critical.

'''Alec:''' Like, uh, what do you mean, like uh, what are some of the things that you found just kinda crossed the line?

'''Chris:''' Like-Like they talk about... Like they talk about [[copyright]] issues and crap...

'''Alec:''' [''Trying to talk''] Well that is...that is kinda of an important issue, I mean...

'''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] BUT-but I have my own [[Chris and copyright#Copyright registration|copyright registration]], that slip of paper I got from the [[Virginia]] Library of Congress...

'''Alec:''' Yeah, uh, I noticed one of the copyright related e-mails was um, someone asked if they could see, just some letter, or some evidence [[Sega]] or [[Nintendo]] gave you, uh, permission to go with [[Sonic]] and [[Pikachu]], and that kinda stuff for [[Sonichu]]'s origin story. Um, you know, if you provided those, that would silence those kind of e-mails right away.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' I mean, you do have copyright of Sonichu, but you would still need to show Nintendo's permission to publish it, you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...

'''Alec:''' 'Cause it has Pikachu in the origin story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, yeah, I think that would be a good idea to show everyone in the mailbag, you know, that would shut up that line of questioning right away.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but there's... also... the homosexuals, and uh, other topics, ugh, I can't remember them off the top of my head. Yeah, there's quite a few.

'''Alec:''' Like the accusations that [[Rosechu#Transgenderism|Rosechu is a boy]]? I think, that was kind of a big thing-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Alec:''' People were going after-

 '''Chris:''' But I, I mean, yeah, that's only before the [[rainbow]] strike, I mean, the point where that Raichu- female Raichu is within the rainbow, that would be after the rainbow strikes that Raichu.

'''Alec:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' And with the power of the- with the power of the [[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystals]].

'''Alec:''' Well you know-

'''Chris:''' I-it was with a point, it was as point to the end of that tail, in the two panels that preceded it, the tail was definitely dull at the end.

'''Alec:''' Uhh, well, you know, the- as far as I know, the original comic does have a point tail, like a male has, and that's- that's still on [[CWCipedia|your website]], isn't it?

'''Chris:''' I-

'''Alec:''' You know, one thing I thought about was the gender differences in the Pokémon, that didn't, Nintendo didn't do that until a while after you created it, Sonichu, right? So, I mean, I just don't get why you didn't go with that. That would've been a good explanation, but instead you kinda [[lie]]d to your [[fans]].

'''Chris:''' What do you mean, lied? [[Lie|I did not lie]], I mean, you look at the two pictures before the rainbow hit, the tail is dull on the tip.

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, I see that in your picture that's on the front of the CWCipedia, but on the original comic he had a pointy tail, or she, I mean.

'''Chris:''' The original-

'''Alec:''' I've seen the original.

'''Chris:''' That's because- look, outside, [[Chris and art|that's just a line that is going outside of the square]], [[Chris and reality|whatever goes outside, does not necessarily count.]]

'''Alec:''' Uh, it doesn't look like it goes, like, outside the panel here, but... I mean, y'know... I don't really know. I know that you don't... you probably should have corrected that mistake, but you left it in. I mean, I'm just trying to- I mean, I just kinda wish that thing had gotten nipped in the bud. It kinda sucks, but this is like, a huge point of contention right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Al-also, you know, another thing, I've actually found, I've actually found a [[Sonichu Forum|forum of my loyal fans]], and I have just read some posts about the ads that have been placed in the CWCipedia, and they really don't like 'em either.

'''Alec:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' So, I'm not alone in that.

'''Alec:''' Well, alright. Well... you know, uh... if they wanted to buy the ad-space that's, I'm sure they could too. I mean, again, y'know, the ads, I'm gonna keep trying to talk to Mao but it's really his area. Mao's kind of the boss of the ads, I'm just kind of the artistic genius. Mao does the business work.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, that definitely do not appreciate that- that drawing of me, in a [[Butt garments|diaper]], and then just copying and pasting my signature to that.<ref>[[:File:Cwcbaby.jpg]]</ref> That's just wrong.

'''Alec:''' Well, you know, um, I noticed that even after our last talk you continued referring Asperchu as [[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch]]. I thought we had that cleared away. I thought you knew he was Asperchu, I mean Asperchu is my original creation.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, maybe so, but still-

'''Alec:''' And I think you still have the impression that Asperchu is a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]], and you know that's not true, right? Asperchu is not a Sonichu.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, yeah, okay, but still think about this, y-y-y-you picked- you gave him the condition of [[Aspergers]].

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct. Oh! That's another thing. I think you, I think you thought that I gave everyone that appeared on my comic Aspergers, but only Asperchu has it. Just Asperchu.

'''Chris:''' [Sighs] Well-

'''Alec:''' Okay, you were gonna say something?

'''Chris:''' A-anyway, still, I think you could understand, since you have Aspergers and conservely, with my Autism, that we would pref- we don't really don't wanna be treated as sep- as treated as quote-unquote, "[[Slow-in-the-minds|special]]" because of our mental conditions, we want to be treated as equal individuals.

'''Alec:''' [over Chris] Well, that's certainly true, but how do you think I've been portraying Asperchu as being treated, y'know, different?

'''Chris:''' Try putting yourself in the shoes of your- of your Asperchu. If- if you, I mean, not only would you want to be treated as an individual equal, but-

'''Alec:''' That's how I portray him, he does everything normal people do.

'''Chris:''' But you would not want a name that empathizes the mental condition, you want a name that is more manly-

'''Alec:''' Well y'know, Chris, [[Christopher's name change|we don't choose our names. Our names are given to us.]] Asperchu never chose his name. I mean, think of it this way, the name "Asperchu," if you think of that as a detriment- I don't, but if you interpret the comic that way- think of it as a personal, sort of, character flaw, if you will, that he has to work to overcome. [[Chris and writing|All good characters have character flaws.]]

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean-

'''Alec:''' And, and, it's fiction. Sometimes characters don't always live the happiest lives in fiction, but that's part of what makes good fiction.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Hmm, yeah, but still, think about it, what if your-

=Part 2=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|A7UpWqsfpm0}}
| Stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris:''' -parents had named you "Asper?"

'''Alec:''' Uhh...

'''Chris:''' Just to foretell that you had Aspergers, that you would have Aspergers.

'''Alec:''' Well...

'''Chris:''' You would not want that [''[[Speech impediment|stammers]]''] you were being treated- wanting to be treated as an equal in society, you would not to be called "Asper" because-

'''Alec:''' But Chris-

'''Chris:''' Because that emphasizes the mental condition you have.

'''Alec:''' Okay Chris, that's part of the, again, character flaw, Asperchu has things weighing him down, he has curses and... y'know, not [[Chris the Shaman|literal curses]], but he has detriments to his life that [[Stress|weigh him down]] as a character, and he has to work to overcome those. That's part of what makes a good character. You wouldn't make a character that's just [[Chris-chan Sonichu|all powerful and perfect in every way and has no real problems ever]], would you? That'd be kinda boring. Complex characters have problems that they overcome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' And it takes, it takes time, too, to overcome a serious problem, I mean, you just renamed him "Mitch," and that wouldn't do it, y'know you can't just go and snap your fingers and just wave the problem away and- 1. That's not realistic, and 2. That doesn't make for good fiction, I mean, all the drama you're building up, y'know, your readers really wouldn't really like that if you just kinda hand-waved it away, don't you think?

'''Chris:''' Alright, yeah, okay, but still-

'''Alec:''' Think about it like this: [[Wikipedia:Superman|Superman]] is named "Superman" because he's super, right? And y'know, Superman is one of the most- [''is cut off'']

'''Chris:''' I mean- as- as-as an individual, within his own world, outside of your control, Asperchu would not want that name, he would be in agreement with me, and would probably want to change his name to something like "Mitch."

'''Alec:''' Ah, but the thing there is, Asperchu is not outside of my control because it's a comic, and I am the creator and, y'know, manager of his comic universe. So, I- as his creator I decide what Asperchu wants and what he doesn't want, and what his personality is like.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, don't you think?

'''Chris:''' Fairly. I mean, have you ever watched the movie ''[[Wikipedia:Who Framed Roger Rabbit|Who Framed Roger Rabbit]]''?"

'''Alec:''' Yes I have, it was a good movie.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, you got the whole [[Wikipedia:Toontown|toon world]] there, and within that, it coincides with the comic as well, and every individual comic, published or unpublished, drawn altogether. And within the world, actually, would reside your Asperchu, but he would be with his individual thoughts since you gave him an adult attitude within his, within his individual thoughts, he would- he would hate having the name of Asperchu 'cause it emphasizes his mental problem.

'''Alec:''' Umm...

'''Chris:''' His special condition. And he's like, his process of wanting to move from that, and become more acceptable in society, that he would not want a name that would make him feel...

'''Alec:''' Okay...

'''Chris:''' Like as if he's still living it, even after he's fully recovered from it.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but Chris, um, ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'', that was still a movie, and everything in it was predetermined by the movie writers and director, and there is no alternate cartoon world in reality, I mean, cartoon characters don't actually think and feel things. Okay, here's a question-

'''Chris:''' Well, you obviously are naïve about that, cause you're not fully underst-, you're [[Chris and reality|not understanding that possibility of that universe actually existing]].

'''Alec:''' So you do believe that, um, when an artist creates a cartoon character, that character becomes real? That what you're saying to me?

'''Chris:''' Within that universe, yes.

[''[[Trolls|Raucous laughter]] can be heard in the background'']

'''Alec:''' But the universe is fake. I mean, the ''Asperchu'' universe exists on paper and in my computer. It's just, it's whatever I write it to be. Oh, here's a question for you. Okay, so if you think a character would want, you know, and appropriate name, a good name, not a name that calls them out on something, or sets them back, um... "Sonichu" is the name of a species, correct? I mean, there's Sonichus and Rosechus, those are a species, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, he was the first one, the first original Sonichu, and she was the original Rosechu-

'''Alec:''' So, wouldn't they want their own-

'''Chris:''' [''indignant''] And-and they each came up with their name, on their own, [''contradicting [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], where [[Kel]] gives [[Rosechu]] her name''] and they did not need a nickname to go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but Chris, if you're a human being would you be comfortable just being named "Human"? Or "Man"? I mean, you wouldn't- would you be comfortable if the name "Christian Weston Chandler" didn't exist, and you were just called, "Man," or "Person," or something?

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, y'know ''Homo sapiens''-

'''Chris:''' Yeah but I would [''Chris and Alec talk over each other'']

'''Alec:''' ...''Homo sapiens''.

'''Chris:''' Yes, but still-

'''Alec:''' [[Homos|Homo, homo]].

'''Chris:''' I was not the first human being, and I actually had parents who gave me that name. Sonichu came in, he had to come up with his own name-

'''Alec:''' Well, Sonichu had you who gave him that name didn't he? I mean, within [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]], you, [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]], are Sonichu's father, right? I mean, why wouldn't, why wouldn't your cartoon self give him a name?

'''Chris:''' Uh, that's the cartoon me, versus the real me.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but isn't the cartoon you... Okay, like you said, cartoons are basically real, I mean, so shouldn't the cartoon version of you be just like you? Wouldn't you want to give your child a name? I mean you-

'''Chris:''' I did give him a name, he's the original Sonichu, so therefore, it's as such.

'''Alec:''' But all the other Sonichus also have nicknames, or secondary names, so, so the first Sonichu, I gotta think is feeling kinda left out.

'''Chris:''' Well, he doesn't feel left out. He accepts that, and he's happy with it, just as Rosechu.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, I don't think Asperchu feels left out because, y'know, he's just my cartoon character. He's my property, y'know, he's my intellectual property, that's what he is. You can't have a person as property, so you know, he's my property, he's not a person, he doesn't feel things, he doesn't think.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well still, what if you could actually could see- what if you could actually could see the child with your girlfriend or wife? Then, would you feel that you own that child even after you have raised him from being a baby, to, let's say, late teenage years where that child would feel more like and individual and independent being?

'''Alec:''' [''clearly frustrated with Chris's nonsense''] Chris, you do understand, that a child, a human being is substantially more that a comic character, right? They're not the same thing, they're not even close. Of course I would name a child, children are real, and children are not our property, I mean if I had a child, I would give it all the love and support it needed, but it is it's own person, he or she, I should say. Where as a comic character is just, it's whatever you draw on paper or in Photoshop. I mean, I draw Asperchu on paper, that's the only place he exists. And then I upload him onto my computer and that's where he exists, and he exists on the web. So I have a character, he grows, but he's never a person.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well anyway, this is confusing to think about. Okay- well- yeah...

'''Alec:''' We can agree to disagree.

'''Chris:''' Okay, what if As- what if the shoe was on the other foot- what if Asperchu created you?

'''Alec:''' Well then, I'd be a comic character, myself, and I wouldn't have any thoughts and feelings, so that's a moot point.

'''Chris:''' You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?

'''Alec:''' NO!

'''Chris:''' You are [[naïve]].

'''Alec:''' Chris, you have told me that you think a comic character is fundamentally as much of a person as a real human being, that is the naïve thought.

'''Chris:''' No, you are-

'''Alec:''' I'm a writer, I'm like the [[god]] of the Asperchu world. I decide what goes on in Asperchu's world, I decide, who and what Asperchu is and what he thinks and feels, if anything, which he doesn't, because he's still just a character on paper, y'know, when I put the pen down, Asperchu stops being there. Nothing exists in Asperchu's world that I haven't drawn.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Boy, you are-

'''Alec:''' And it's naïve to think that there's anything more.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs'']

'''Alec:''' You know, I'm, uh- I think we should agree to disagree on this point.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Um, because we have our own thoughts on that. Um, I kinda ask you about- I'm actually getting some letters about Sonichu, about why you're not updating daily, and I was kinda curious about that.

'''Chris:''' I- for your information, I am updating daily. I draw two pages- I draw and color my two pages a day. I can't help if I don't have access to my computer or if I can't get to it right away, besides which, my [[biological clock]] has been fickle on me and it's making me go- making fall asleep earlier.

=Part 3=

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|bdAhmcSgudM}}
| Stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Alec:''' Well, I understand-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Alec''] And it's difficult to rearrange my schedule, and get back in- in a sync-synchronized routine like I would be.

'''Alec:''' Maybe you could get an alarm clock. You know, I- I'm just kinda curious, like, I know it takes, what, like an hour to do each page, about what you spend, I would kinda guess. Um, I'm just kinda confused why you'd spend an hour to draw a page, but not take that extra sixty seconds to upload it. I think consistency is important thing-

'''Chris:''' But, wait, it could take- it takes more than sixty seconds to scan it in Photoshop, then upload it. It would probably take like half an hour for all that work.

'''Alec:''' I didn't know you did Photoshop work with your pages. What do you, what do you use Photoshop for, if I may ask? I'm just kinda curious. I thought you just-

'''Chris:''' T-t-to change it from more hand-written text, to more legible typed text.

'''Alec:''' Y'know, If I remember right, I think kinda one of the criticisms you had about ''Asperchu'' was that it was not completely hand-drawn original. Because I do use Photoshop in part of my creative process, but it sounds like you do kind of the same thing. Which is, you know, that's fine. Digital, digital media is where our world is going, but I thought- see I thought you drew it all on paper and uploaded it.

'''Chris:''' I did draw it all on paper. The only part I edit in Photoshop is the text; what you reeead.

'''Alec:''' 'Kay, I thought so. Well, it just seems a little hypocritical, but you do use Photoshop in the creative process, but you criticized me for it. Don't you think?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the hand-drawing and you draw everything on your Photoshop with your computer mouse.

'''Alec:''' Well I don't- here's what I do. I do sometimes draw the pages on paper, um, I'm kinda trying to shy away from that because, our society wastes so much paper, so I'm trying to be a little more socially responsible. But what I do, I use a [[Wikipedia:Graphics tablet|tablet]], and I draw on that, and that's basically the same thing as pen and paper, it's, uh, what I draw goes directly on the computer screen. So I don't use a mouse.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, it's the same thing-

'''Chris:''' Okay, but still, it looks crappy compared to mine. Even [[Barb|my mother]] agrees.

'''Alec:''' Oh, hey, hey, hey, c'mon that's a little insulting Chris, what do you mean, "crappy"? I mean, my mother says my comic is the most beautiful comic she's ever seen too but, I kind of think that's because she's a supportive mother. You know, mothers are supposed to support their children in their endeavors. And I have, y'know, got 20,000 fans now that love it too. None of them are my mother. My mother doesn't actually use a computer, I just show her the print-outs. [''silence''] Y'know, I get complimented on my art all the time.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, it's okay to disagree. I just, I'm curious why you think it's crappy?

'''Chris:''' Because it's computer drawn. It's not originally hand-drawn.

'''Alec:''' I just told you, it is hand-drawn. It's hand-drawn on a tablet. What do you mean, it's not an "original hand-drawn?"

'''Chris:''' It don't have the old-fashioned original pencil or pen markings, that's what I have.

'''Alec:''' So, because I don't have smudge-marks on my paper, is that's what you mean? That was another reason I went with the tablet, because I got a lot of smudge-marks on my paper when I was doing math and I had to spend extra time erasing it. Y'know is- okay, by comparison, could I say that our [[Son-Chu|cars]] are not true original transportation because people should be using old-fashioned horses? You use Photoshop for lettering and effects. We're one in the same here, Chris.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And-and again, I just don't see why, the exact method I use to draw determines the skill of my art. Weren't you um, I remember recently, didn't you put, like, a live picture of yourself in your comic for some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' theme? I mean, you didn't draw that part in, did you?<ref>A reference to "[[Revive Zordon]]" from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]</ref>

'''Chris:''' I-I-It at least allows me, to put myself in my work. See, a bigger difference between drawing with a tablet or mouse versus hand-drawn is that you see more personality with the orig- with the pen-marking, and color—and marker coloring versus what's... what's digitally entered-

'''Alec:''' Well, if you feel that way. If you feel that way, I respect your opinion, but, I mean, y'know, 20,000 fans can't be wrong, and not a single one of them have ever said anything.

'''Chris:''' Okay well-okay well, l-let me give you a better example on that. Okay, say you got, uh, two letters, two exact same letters from a person, from the same person. One hand-written, and one computerized and printed, which one would you think would have more personality, or would appeal to you better?

'''Alec:''' I honestly don't remember the last time anyone wrote me a hand-written letter. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a hand-written letter, I type everything, every kind of- I mean, typing looks more professional.

'''Chris:''' Professional, yes, but-

'''Alec:''' I mean, hand-written wouldn't get you a job, or anything.

[[Image:MoarCharacter.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
'''Chris:''' At least I have had all the practice of hand-writing, and that- there's more character, more personality put into it, in hand-writing versus what you would just see, everyday in a monosynchronic [''?''] sense.

'''Alec:''' Well, you know why you see it everyday, everywhere, Chris? You see it everywhere, because it works. Because that's what people prefer.

'''Chris:''' [Sigh]

'''Alec:''' I think we're getting kinda off-topic, I mean I just- I kinda wanna go back to, um, I understand it can be difficult to get to your computer and upload things, you know in a timely fashion, sometimes, you're not at your computer, things like that, but, I mean, Sonichu's your franchise, a lot of fans I know are getting kind of, y'know, fed up that you don't have pages uploaded everyday. I mean, Sonichu is your, that's your franchise, right? I just, I dunno, I mean, I got a lot of stuff going on in my day too, but I make sure to get at least one or two pages uploaded everyday. Which has been more difficult since my school term started, 'cause I'm in full time school, and, y'know, I work still, I'm still working at the station but... that's just a recommendation, but... again, I know it's difficult, but I recommend that you try. That's all I'm saying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I am drawing- I have been drawing the pages, and like I said, I cannot help it if I can't upload on some days, but at least I do upload them in the bulk on when I can upload.

'''Alec:''' You know, for a while, for a couple months, you were uploading most everyday weren't you? I mean, has something, has something, has your schedule gotten busier recently or something?

'''Chris:''' I've been [[Biological clock|falling asleep earlier]]. And with that, it's hard- and with that it's harder for me to readjust my schedule.

'''Alec:''' You know Chris, if I fell asleep on my job, I'd probably lose my job. I mean, Sonichu is supposed to be your big franchise, right? I mean... if fell asleep while drawing Asperchu and I started missing days, I would buy myself and alarm clock. Or I would upload them earlier, before I knew I was gonna get tired, or whatever.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It's just-

'''Chris:''' Anyway, anyway I haven't been able to get my schedule around and I just haven't been able to get it in sync yet.

'''Alec:''' What's uh... if I may ask, what's... has something been going on that's been throwing your schedule for a loop? I mean, you-you haven't made videos in the past couple of days but you know prior to that, you were making videos fairly frequently, mostly attacking me.

'''Chris:''' Originally did- originally when I did the videos it was not necessarily on a daily basis, that's not like, journal, a video is not like a journal to me.

'''Alec:''' Well but, you know, if you spend five, ten, fifteen minutes making a video, that's time you could be uploading a comic. But instead you make videos attacking me.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Pl-plus, the battery power on my digital camera is fickle.

'''Alec:''' What does your digital camera have to do with uploading pages? I'm saying you shouldn't be using the camera, you shouldn't be making videos. You know why I haven't made any videos, Chris? It's 'cause I don't have time, I'm uploading pages that and- that and I don't wanna-

=Part 4=
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|hyBLtwx25mk}}
| Stardate = 28 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Alec:''' -make [[death threats]] to people on the [[Internet]], that's not a... I mean, you know- you know you really hurt my feelings when you started doing those Chris, because, like I said you started as my inspiration and a couple months later you became my [[troll]].

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' I know you have trolls, you know, it sucks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It really sucks to have people attacking you like that, but you became my troll.

'''Chris:''' Alright well... you know, how 'bout you just tell Mao that I... if he just... I'll leave y'all alone, let y'all do your thang... y'all take your ads off my website.

'''Alec:''' That's just not a... that's not a sound business move for me, Chris. Those ads are bringing in a lot of viewers.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] So, put 'em on another website.

'''Alec:''' Well, what if that website tells me that, y'know, they don't want them there, then should I move to another website, and then another, and then another... Mao's job is to bring in fans for me, that's what he's doing and he's doing it well, and that's why I keep him-

'''Chris:''' Well, Mao- Mao never asked me before he could- before he put anything up there or before he paid off [[Jack Thaddeus]].

'''Alec:''' Well, he doesn't have to, that's the way ads work. You buy adspace that's publicly available. Advertising is not under your control.

'''Chris:''' Ye-yeah- But I was- but I was never there to witness that monetary transaction, I was never there for that quote-unquote "agreement."

'''Alec:''' You don't own [[CWCipedia|the site]], Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' You don't own that site. Right? I mean, the money from the ads go to keep the site up, that's my understanding.

'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] Actually, you're wrong, you see, Mao ga-put- gave that to €2,000 directly to Jack Thaddeus. actually put that €2,000 into the CWCipedia funds, so. therefore, Mao never saw his money in his money in the CWCipedia funds, they just went straight to Jack.

'''Alec:''' Um, I'm not really sure. I've never spoken to Jack, I don't know anything about what he and Mao talked about, y'know I'd kinda like to help you out, honestly I would, but I'm still a little... I'm a little miffed that um... even after we had a pretty good talk last time, but you still kept going with this whole "[[Mitch]]" business. I mean, you took my character, and altered him. You say, you say that I didn't get permission to use Sonichu, but you didn't get permission to use Asperchu either.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well...

'''Alec:''' Or [[Simonchu]]! I-I-I almost forgot to mention that, Evan wanted me to talk to you about that, about using Simonchu. Y'know, Simonchu was his creation and you used that without permission. And he asked you several times, not- to get rid of Simonchu and [[Simonla]], or whatever her female form is. But-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, [[Lie|Simonla was never very inspired by Simonchu...]] I took an original [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]], I changed her to a ground color, gave her the complexion, added an armadillo shell, and then a few drills in appropriate faces- places.

'''Alec:''' So kind of how I took a [[Sonic]], and make him yellow, and gave him a goatee and glasses, and a Buddha belly, and thus was born Asperchu. And, it was- you thought it was a parody, but it just happened to be... that kinda what you're going with, for there? I mean, why didn't you just say that to Evan in the first place, 'cause he has been e-mailing you for a long time.

'''Chris:''' I-I told him- I responded- I told him that in response- in response to why those messages in the mailbag, but apparently, he had not read that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uhm... let's see, I'm looking at the Simonla at your CWCipedia here, um, you say that... I'll just read what it says here: About on or before August 26, [[2008]], I received an e-mail from Evan George, uhh... submitting his Sonichu Fan Art to me, then later submitted his idea for Simonchu, it did not strike as good at first but for a few months, I wanted to create a ground type, um... so from Simonchu, I created Simonla Rosechu.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu&oldid=5231]</ref> That's on the Simonla article for your CWCipedia. I mean that's, smoking gun, Chris, that's proof, that you used Simonchu as a base.

'''Chris:''' [''groans'']

'''Alec:''' I'm... y'know I'm not trying to attack you with this but I really think this is evidence, that you should get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, write 'em out. 'Cause the facts are right there Chris.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually it was not like that, I typed it in because Evan was badgering me as such, and it just stuck in my head, and pretty much stuck... when I typed it in originally.

'''Alec:''' Why would that just stick in your head, why would that happen? Why would it stick in your head, unless it's true?

'''Chris:''' [''trying to think of an excuse''] I put it in there to make a [[parody|mockery]] out of him!

'''Alec:''' Well, then you kind of... kind of lied about it to people, didn't you? I mean, 'cause everyone else thinks that's the [[Honest Content|honest truth]].

'''Chris:''' Well, I can stick- well I can change that and fix it.

'''Alec:''' Doesn't matter, you already established it. I mean, when it comes to, like, [[copyright]], and that sort of thing, Chris, I mean, the one thing that matters more that anything else is documentation, and history. And all of your documentation shows that you used Simonchu as inspiration. You acknowledge legal liability here. Whether it was a joke or not, you wrote it like it was real. And Evan's been pester-

'''Chris:''' [''big sigh'']

'''Alec:''' ...ing me to talk to you, 'cause apparently you're ignoring his e-mails... although you ignore my e-mails too. I mean, like I said, it was a pain just to get a hold of you. I mean, for a guy who has so much to say to me, you are hard to get a hold of.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' I mean, you, you, I'm just I wanna let you know, that you do need to comply with Evan's demands, 'cause he's talking about litigation, and that if he wants to go get a lawyer over this. He said that he'd, that he'd back off if you acknowledge, in the comic and write Simonchu and Simonla out, and y'know, say that they will be done and gone forever. He has the copyright for Simonchu. I mean, would you be willing to do that? Write 'em out?

'''Chris:''' I'll con- I'll think about it.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well don't think too long. I mean, this is a serious issue.

'''Chris:''' [Sigh]

'''Alec:''' I'm just- I'm just trying to give you advice, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Alec:''' I don't wanna see litigation come out of this.

'''Chris:''' Hmm... anyway I'm feeling tired right now.

'''Alec:''' Okay well, maybe I'll let you go, um... you have a good night, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Alright, goodnight.

'''Alec:''' Goodnight.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|Chris and Alec Call 1]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|}}

=Sources=
<references/>

=External Links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?57fb2b3pkmd8xmw Audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGB99JTZJes The Call on YouTube]
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1

2012-06-28T07:35:37Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Adding Mediafire link.

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1''' is the first call between [[Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec]], which took place on 22 January 2010.

==Summary==

Chris and Alec discuss the size and location of [[Asperpedia]] advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris tries to dictate the content of Alec's ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by telling him to tone down the amount of violence in the series. He also goes on to tell Alec to rename Asperchu's versions of the [[Chaotic Combo]] characters to the names created in [[Wikipedia:Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

Alec questions how Chris can hold a [[copyright]] on [[Sonichu]] when Sonichu is in fact a [[Pokémon]], a derivative of another creator's copyrighted work, after which Chris jumps to change the subject to avoid admitting that Alec has a point. (Chris similarly avoids or ignores the obvious truth about his "original" characters in other conversations with Alec.) Alec also confronts Chris's ill-will towards Asperchu and Alec himself by bringing up the pages of ''Sonichu'' #10 where Chris drew his super-form breaking into Alec's house and destroying his website and computer. Chris retaliates by saying that Alec's killing of Chris's fictional characters in ''Asperchu'' justifies his fantasies of committing destruction of property and theft. Chris becomes increasingly [[stress]]ed out as the call goes on and eventually hangs up on Alec, claiming that his phone's battery is running low.
{{clear}}

=Part 1=

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|oNQNdjFES7o}}
| stardate = 22 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = n/a
| next = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Alec''': Hi, is this... is this, uh, Christian Weston Chandler?

'''Chris''': Yeah, this is Christian, may I help you?

'''Alec''': Hi Chris, um... this is Alec Benson Leary. Is it-Is it okay if we talk?

'''Chris''': Oh yes. Uh... Sure. Yes. So uh...

'''Alec''': Good. Well, uh, there's a couple of things I wanted to talk about tonight. Um, first of all, uh... Well I understand you've got... you've got a problem with the ads that are on [[CWCipedia]]? Can you... Can you tell me a little more about um... I kinda want to have, you know, get a compromise and settle this 'cause... 'cause I don't... I don't want anybody to be angry.

'''Chris''': Okay yeah. I'll let you have your ads on the CWCipedia but don't make them too big, and uh, leave 'em in the side bar.

'''Alec''': Okay... um...

'''Chris''': [''Interrupts''] I don't want-I don't want-I do not want them in-I do not want them c... c... covering over... the introductory box or any-or anything else where I have to scroll down even to edit the pages. Or even to log in.

'''Alec''': Okay, um. Well I understand-

'''Chris''': So- so Okay cool. Just keep your ads on the sidebar.

'''Alec''': Yeah my friend [[Asperchu|Mao]], he um, he actually makes the ads for me. I didn't make them myself but I can try to talk to him about that. About the size.

'''Chris''': Okay. Alright.

'''Alec''': As for like, where on the CWCipedia, they are, I don't know if Mao controls that or not, I don't think he does. I think... I'm not sure what controls like where the adspace goes, you know. I mean, I'll talk to Mao about it but I'm not sure if he controls that either.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

'''Alec''': Yeah like, I can talk to him. But you might want to talk to your web manager or whatever, Cuz they set up the way the adspace goes, you know?

'''Chris''': Yeah, and also, just uh, just one more concern of mine upon- uh, yeah, I've uh, read your pages on the ''Asperchu'' comic. But the-and the recent pages, what do you think you're doing- what do you think you- what do you think you're parodying, ''[[Wikipedia:Happy Tree Friends|Happy Tree Friends]]''?

'''Alec''': Um... What's ''Happy Tree Friends''? What's that?

'''Chris''': [''Sighs''] It's supposed to be like a happy [[Honest Content|TV-Y]] show, but it's actually- it's actually adult dark humor because they go into cut-slashing all the cute characters up and uh, it's- well all the blood and gore and everything, and yet they make them come- they make them come back to life unharmed in the very next episode, just to slice and dice em up again.

'''Alec''': Oh. Um, I've actually never heard of that series. What is, is that on [[Wikipedia:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] or...

'''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] ye- yeah... no you can look it up on [[Netflix]].

'''Alec''': Oh.

'''Chris''': Yeah that's a good place. But anyway, blood and gore. Yeah, that's not a good way to go, especially when you killed, even- even considerable facsimiles of my own characters in that sense, and in that detail.

'''Alec''': Well you know, um, I actually- I got a lot of uh, actually positive response from my fans when I did that. Because you know, some of my fans [''trails off as Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, that's another thing. Yeah that's another thing. Encourage [[Fanbase|the fans that were originally my fans]] to come back to me. I would appreciate that.

'''Alec''': Uh, Well I, I mean, you know I tell my fans all about you all the time, Chris, because, you know, like I've told you in a lot of the letters I've written to you you were a big inspiration to me. You know, I don't really know what to say to my fans as far as that goes. They uh, they love my comic. I get a lot, I get a lot of fanmail about it.

'''Chris''': Yeah, okay. Umm okay how about this, uh, just to make it equal, um, put an advertisement for the CWCipedia on uh, on the Asperpedia. About as much as the Asperpedia ads are on my CWCipedia.

'''Alec''': Um, well um yeah, we might be able to work something out, you know, you'd probably want to contact Mao, cuz he's my manager he does all the grunt work on Asperpedia. Um, I'm not even sure what how selling the adspace works, but I'm sure he'd be willing to sell you some adspace on Asperpedia we could definitely try to work something like that out.

'''Chris''': So basically... alright well, alright well Mao and I can talk through e-mail.

'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah. Yeah cuz, you can- I mean, like I said I don't know the details but I know adspace is up for purchase so...

'''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. Then we got settled on at least on, your ads on my CWCipedia. And yeah, ease up on the- not so much blood and gore. And try to uh, bring my fans, uh, redirect my fans back to me.

'''Alec''': Um... well you know uh... I'm trying to think of a good way to say this, but you know, we are in kind of a friendly competition if you will. You know we, we're both [[Chris and Art|artists]], kind of. I mean, it doesn't really make sense for an artist to say to his fans, "Hey guys, don't follow me anymore, go back to this other artist." I mean, would you do that for your fans? Would you say "Hey fans, go talk to Alec," or "go watch Alec's cartoon," or anyone else's cartoon, I mean, really? No, you want the fans to follow you.

'''Chris''': Um. Okay, um. Okay yeah I can understand that um, okay, um.

'''Alec''': Yeah, Mm-hmm.

'''Chris''': Well since, well since you and I are on- are on okay agreeing mutual- okay talking tones right now.

'''Alec''': Mmm-hmm?

'''Chris''': How about I, uh, How about I just remove all the bad talk I have against you, and then start saying that, start saying that you're okay, that your comic is okay, that and uh, you know, but still saying that your, like you know I would appreciate it if you would stay being my fans, but if you want to go look at his work, that's fine I can't stop you there, but you know.

'''Alec''': Well actually, I'm glad that you're bringing this up because, um, I do say we're on friendly terms and I'd like to keep it that way because, you know, I got my start because of you, um, but to be honest, I want to be honest and frank with you.

'''Chris''': Mm. Mm.

'''Alec''': Um, you made a couple of videos. And I don't watch all your videos but I do try to keep up, I mean I spend a lot of time drawing the comics, so I don't have a lot of time to watch videos anymore but um, I saw a couple of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|videos]] where you, uh, you actually threatened me with uh, physical...

'''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Umm, yeah. Okay well...

'''Alec''': [''Trying to talk''] Yeah that didn't make me [''unintelligible'']

'''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] I was uh, I was, well I was more angry back then because it was an immediate, uh, response, but now things have settled down and we're talking, I can-I can make a new video saying like, you know, I apologize for those threats, and uh, that things are okay here.

'''Alec''': Okay and, and about you um-also the video where you...you wanted [[Patti Chandler|your dog]] to eat me, or something like that, you-your dog to eat my soul, I mean that-well the [[death threats]] were kind of scary to begin with, but that, that was just a [''unintelligible'']

'''Chris''': Okay yeah, well I'll take-I'll take that back as well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec''': And, and um, that kind of leads me into another point, um you, you're under the impression that I was, that I was besmirching your dog in my comic, and I'm not really sure what you mean by that. Could you explain to me?

'''Chris''': Okay well, the villain, the dog in your comic, it looks-it looks similar to my dog, especially around the green neckerchief and the other parts that are green on that dog. And the, and the shape of the dog, just looked like my dog.

'''Alec''': Well it's just a-a lot of dogs look like that, Chris, I mean a lot of... it-it's just a neckerchief, I mean it's just a little flair for the dog. That doesn't mean it's your dog.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I think honestly you make that assumption with a lot of my characters, it seems like you think that a lot of my characters were you know, like ripping off your characters, or even you yourself, because you said that Asperchu was...

'''Chris''': Yeah, [[Obesity|Buddha belly]] and the [[Muscle bra|manboobs]], the [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]...

'''Alec''': Well I mean, Chris, you're...

'''Chris''': Oh, and the [[Love quest|sweetheart search]] thing and the [[Crystal Weston Chandler|future daughter]].

'''Alec''': Well I mean, Asperchu's not a [[parody]], Chris, I mean he's an original creation.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': You know just because he has the glasses, the Buddha belly, and the-and the manboobs, and the goatee, you know, that doesn't make him a parody, I mean that's...And besides you said you had the [[McDonald's|fast food]]-

=Part 2=

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|ysPFqIRSqtY}}
| stardate = 22 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 1|Part 1]]
| next = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Alec''': -I mean, how could it be a parody of you if, if your belly is [''unintelligible due to Chris talking over him'']

'''Chris''': If I-if I, you, you mean if I [[Lie|currently do not have the Buddha belly]].

'''Alec''': Well, exactly, so Asperchu can't be a parody of you, right?

'''Chris''': Okay. Well...

'''Alec''': I mean, doesn't that-that makes sense to me, doesn't that make sense to you?

'''Chris''': Okay, I s-yeah, that's fine.

'''Alec''': I mean, it's just a little-it seems-it seems a little [[naïve]] to think that Asperchu and everything are parodies of your char-I mean, I do include some of your characters in the comic, and those-those-my original characters are purely original. Asperchu... nothing about Asperchu is a parody. [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues''] And actually-actually, I'd kind of like you to issue your retraction video to, to um, let everyone know that Asperchu is original and is not a parody in any way. Or if there are-oh, and, and you did mention that I don't have a disclaimer on my comics, but uh, that made me think I should create a disclaimer and so I did, so if there are any elements that look parodic, I'm covered.

'''Chris''': Yeah, okay, yeah. And also, yeah, you definitely do reference my [[Sonichu]] and my [[CWCville]] and especially the [[Chaotic Combo]] recently.

'''Alec''': Well as you said those weren't yours, you said those were copies. You said those were just, you know, copies of...

'''Chris''': Y-y-y-your versions are just recreational-recreation-recreated facsimiles. Okay so let's agree to that...

'''Alec''': [''Trying to speak''] Can I ask-can I ask you something about the Chaotic Combo and Sonichu? Yeah, those were just facsimiles, those weren't really yours...

'''Chris''': No they were-no, they were all mine-actually they were all mine. They were all-they were originally mine.

'''Alec''': But, the ones that I drew, were those facsimiles or are those not?

'''Chris''': Uhh...okay well...

'''Alec''': Because you, in your comic, you came and you took them away, in your-in your recent pages of your comic. I mean you said in-you said in the comics that those were mine, but, you know, so they must be original, right? [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues''] You said in the comic they weren't the Chaotic Combo, so they must be original. But then you came and took them. I-I don't get that, and you renamed them and re-restyled them.

'''Chris''': [''finally manages to break in''] Listen, listen, okay. The Chaotic Combo, in my comics, appeared before Book number 10, and originated in CWCville, Virginia, not in Minnesota, those are originally mine. But the ones that you re-drew and then made them different from how they originally were, in my comic, then that's definitely-that's totally fax-facsimiles...

'''Alec''': Mine? Then, why did you take them?

'''Chris''': Okay, well I mean-okay number one-

'''Alec''': And not just the Combo, you tried to retake my Asperchu. And Asperchu wasn't, you know, a copy of anything. You-you renamed him [[Mitch Sonichu]]. I mean, Asperchu's mine. You-I don't really appreciate that.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': You know, you accuse me of thievery, but then you go and take-and try to take my Asperchu.

'''Chris''': Okay well you did-you did take my [[Sonichu]], and you did claim him to be the original one, and you did claim orig-you did make it obvious in your comics where he was the original one, from the city of [[CWCville]], and even worse you made him brother to Asperchu, and uh, with the homosexual tendencies and whatnot, even when you drew the Chaotic Combo you made [[Wild]] a [[Homos|homosexual]] even when he is not.

'''Alec''': Well, but Wild's not yours, what does it matter if, if my Wild's gay? I thought there was-I thought there was depth to the character, I was just trying to give them a little personality. And the homosexual references, okay this is something that came up before...

'''Chris''': Okay well listen, okay well aside from the [''unintelligible''] Sonichu-

'''Alec''': Asperchu has a girlfriend, Dixie Chu.

'''Chris''': No actually, I read further in [[Asperchu (comic)|the book]] and Dixie Chu dumped his ass.

'''Alec''': She doesn't-she doesn't-she doesn't-no, she doesn't mean that, she doesn't mean that. They're, they're destined to be together, Chris, I mean, can't you see those undertones? I mean that's-that's where this whole comic is going. And besides, he's shown he's straight, I mean even if a girl does dump him, what does it matter? He went after a girl. He didn't go after a boy. Like you said, Sonichu is his brother, why would he...you know, even if he was gay why would he go for his brother? That's just-that's just sick.

'''Chris''': [''Sigh''] Yeah, I mean anyway-okay well listen, how about this, in your comics, when you, uh, in the future, or in re-or re-referencing the past pages, the Sonichu that is Asperchu's brother, you just refer to him as "Michael," and the Wild you'd refer to him as "Bobby", and the [[Angelica]], "Trisha," et cetera, just like I said in my pages. And "Mitch" can be Asperchu's nickname.

'''Alec''': But, Chris, those aren't really their characters' names. I mean, Bobby and Mitch and-and, I forget the other names, I think you renamed [[Bubbles]] "Kitty" or something like that, I mean those aren't, those aren't their names.

'''Chris''': Okay but, okay but you see when I gave the Chaotic Combo characters those names, originally, in my books, those would be their nick-those would be their nicknames, just, I mean-they're all Sonichus and Rosechus individually, but they're just different types, like uh, without the nickname, Wild, he would be Grass Sonichu, Bubbles would be Water Rosechu, Flying Rosechu, [[Punchy|Fighting Sonichu]], [[Magi-chan|Psychic Sonichu]]...

'''Alec''': Okay, I understand what you're saying, but well see there's one of the differences, though, because in my comic, those are really their names, I mean, you know, Angelica, Punchy, Bubbles, Magi-chan...

'''Chris''': No no, you see, but those are actually their names in MY book. In my book.

'''Alec''': Their nicknames, you said. In my comic they're their actual names. That's the difference.

'''Chris''': No, I'm talking in reference to the Pokémon game, you know, if you wanted to na-if you wanted to give-if you wanted to name your Bulbasaur, they call it giving it a nickname, but really it's just giving them their NAME. So, therefore, the grass Sonichu in my book is Wild, the water Rosechu in my books are Bubbles, et cetera, et cetera, so-

'''Alec''': You know, Chris-

'''Chris''': It would work better if you just take the nickna-the uh, names I suggested for your variations of those characters and just reference to them as such.

'''Alec''': Chris, um, my characters aren't Pokémon, I don't draw Pokémon, that's not how it works in my comic.

'''Chris''': Y-yeah you have been drawing Pokémon, Sonichu is an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]].

'''Alec''': I thought he was a Sonichu, I mean-

'''Chris''': Sonichu is an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. If you read back in my [[Sonichu 0|Book Number Zero]], I make it perfectly clear that Sonichu and Rosechu are Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

'''Alec''': Um, oh, okay. Well, I think the point of confusion there is, um, where their-like, I've never seen any Poké Balls in your comic, or trainers, or any of those other Pokémon elements, you know? Like, shouldn't they live in Poké Balls?

'''Chris''': Yes, there's a Poké Ball that specially catches Sonichus and Rosechus called the [[S-Chu Ball]], and there is a reference to that within the book, the crystals were the [[Sonichu Ball]] crystals, before I renamed them Chaotic Crystals, and we do have a train — we have two trainers. [[Naitsirhc]] was a Pokémon trainer, he had a [[Zapdos]], he had a red [[Gyarados]], he had a [[Mewtwo]]...

'''Alec''': But Chris, those are-those are like Zapdos, and Mewtwo, and Gyarados, I mean does anyone-Sonichu lives in a house, doesn't he, I mean he lives like a person-

'''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, okay well you see, he was originally a wild Pokémon in the original Sonichu, but the original Rosechu was originally a [[Raichu]] that was caught and trained by the Pokémon trainer [[Kel|Kellie, Kel for short]].

'''Alec''': But, they live on their own now, I mean when they became Sonichu and Rosechu, they're-they're people, right? I mean they live like people, they have jobs like people, Sonichu has a job, doesn't he? I mean, what does he do?

'''Chris''': Yeah well you see, in that case, Kel wanted to move on with her Pokémon trainer career, but Rosechu and Sonichu wanted to live happy, individual lives together-

=Part 3=
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|EWG-ddYef7c}}
| stardate = 22 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 2|Part 2]]
| next = [[#Part 4|Part 4]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris''': -so upon realizing that, Kel just let them go, just like [[Wikipedia:Ash Ketchum|Ash]] released his Butterfree so he can go mate with the pink Butterfree.<ref>[http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/EP021]</ref>

'''Alec''': Oh. Well I uh, I actually didn't know any of that. But I di-I digress, um, the point is-the point is that Asperchu and my version of the Chaotic Combo, all those characters, those are not Pokémon in my comics, I mean, Pokémon don't exist in the world of Asperchu. Because, you see, like Asperchu, he lives in his grandparent's house, he is a person.

'''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, okay well my-

'''Alec''': [''overlapping''] My Sonichu is a person, my Chaotic Combo are people...

'''Chris''': Okay well, okay, alright, but that still makes it sound like my characters when you talk about THE Sonichu from CWCville...

'''Alec''': They're not your characters, we've established that. They're not yours, I mean, they're my characters. [''Trying to talk over Chris''] Original. My comic is not a parody.

'''Chris''': Okay, Sonichu and Rosechu, I actually have paper-registered copyrights on those so I COULD sue you, but I'm trying to resolve this peacefully.

'''Alec''': You have-okay, so you have the copyright-

'''Chris''': Yeah, look under the copyright section of the-on the CWCipedia. It actually has the scan of the paper from the Virginia Library of Congress as well as the envelope it came in.

'''Alec''': You have a copyright of Sonichu.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Alec''': But you said Sonichu's a Pokémon, right, I mean I'm pretty sure Nintendo has the copyright claim to Pokémon.

'''Chris''': Still, it's Sonichu.

'''Alec''': I mean, I might just wanna contact Nintendo just to make sure everything's okay, to make sure I'm not stepping on their toes.

'''Chris''': They have been contacted before, and everything's okay, you don't need to do that.

'''Alec''': But, I mean, well then, how can you hold the copyright to a Pokémon-

'''Chris''': The Virginia Library of Congress has allowed me-

'''Alec''': Well, the Virginia Library of Congress, you know, can't tell Nintendo what to do, they can't tell Nintendo to just hand over copyrights to their creations, to just anybody. I mean, you know, Nintendo could take the Virginia Library of Congress to court and say, hey wait a minute, you know, you issued this copyright illegally.

'''Chris''': [''Massive Stress Sigh'']

'''Alec''': It's just the Library of Congress.

'''Chris''': [''mumbling unintelligibly''] Okay look, let's just agree to uh, this is-what we're talking about right now just seems pointless to what we were originally talking about. Let's just agree that,uh-

'''Alec''': I don't think it's pointless, I mean I'm just trying to establish the... I mean you said you could sue me, I don't want to, you know, just let that go, I mean I don't want to get sued, nobody wants to get sued. I just don't understand how you could sue me-that's what I'm confused on, I mean, you're confusing me, Chris. I mean, call me naïve, but this is-I just don't get exactly what you're getting at.

'''Chris''': Okay well-okay yeah, I'm trying to prevent from having to go into the legal issues as well, so-

'''Alec''': Well I appreciate that, but I just don't understand how you have a legal ground to sue me, I mean, because Pokémon-

'''Chris''': -because I-because I do hold the copyright to Sonichu.

'''Alec''': But Sonichu's a Pokémon.

'''Chris''': [''flustered''] Look, let's just rewind, can we-can we-let's just rewind and go back to what we agreed on before, you know re-uh-readjusting the advertisement signs and uh, giving me, a possible CWCipedia ad on the Asperpedia, and, we just-let the Sonichu in your book be known as-be known as Michael Sonichu, as well as the other Sonichus and Rosechus of the Chaotic Combo, of my Chaotic Combo, let's just rename them the names I suggested in my book-

'''Alec''': Umm.

'''Chris''': In your book.

'''Alec''': Alright, like I said I'll talk to Mao about the ads; as far as the renaming goes, if you're-I guess you can make up some characters, Mike Sonichu, Mitch Sonichu and whatever, that's your comic book, if you want to create those characters that's fine. I mean, like I said I'm not going to rename my characters.

'''Chris''': [''Sigh'']

'''Alec''': And-and you know now that you bring this back to the table, another thing that kind of vexed me in your comic was that you as a, you as uh, [[Collosal Chan]]-was it Collosal Chan or Collosal Chu? I don't recall-

'''Chris''': It is Collosal-it is Collosal Chris-chan, that'd be me in my super form after releasing the seven Chaotic Crystals, or the "Sonichu Ball Crystals" as they are also known as.

'''Alec''': Okay. So Collosal Chris-chan and uh, Sonichu, and he was in his [[Ultra Sonichu|ultra form]], I think-you two came to, well first of all you saw the drawing of Asperchu's house and you mistook that as my house. Just to clarify, that's not my house, [[14 Branchland Court|I made up that house, that-that came out of nowhere, I just decided hey, you know, a big dull-looking happy house]], that'd be funny as Asperchu's home, but, but anyway, you thought it was my house and you came to what you thought was my house and you broke into my house and after breaking and entering-which is a crime, by the way-you proceeded to hack into my computer, and I think you deleted the entire Asperpedia website, and then you deleted all my files of Asperchu comics and everything else, and then I think you stole some [[Dating education|dating program]] or something that you thought was on my-I, I mean this is a multitude of crimes, Chris, that was criminal intent. I mean, why did you do that, you know, those are illegal acts.

'''Chris''': [''sigh'']

'''Alec''': You know, I mean, that's not a nice thing to do.

'''Chris''': [''defensively''] Yeah, well it wasn't very nice taking the Sonichu that was originally from CWCville, and then claiming him to be Asperchu's brother. [''burps''] Excuse me.

'''Alec''': Chris, I didn't show Asperchu breaking into Sonichu's house and destroying valuable documents on his computer. I mean this comic is going to be my lifeblood, this is my franchise, this is my multimedia empire I'm trying to build here, and you just destroyed it on a whim. I mean, why did you do that? I-I just don't get that. Asperchu ne-Asperchu has been nice to Sonichu since they've met, they've been friends and they've treated each other like brothers, and they fought battles side by side. I mean haven't you ever had a website hacked before? I have, it sucks, you know, do you know what it feels like to have your videos and computer hacked?

'''Chris''': I-I have, truly I have, and it was not very nice; I had the original Sonichu site, which was [[CWC's Sonichu Site]] simply, originally on the Tripod web server, hacked into by one [[Clyde Cash]].

'''Alec''': Well then you know how much it sucks, why would you do it to another person? I mean it's one thing if it never happened to you, if it never happened to you it's still bad but you can claim ignorance, but, but you-it happened to you, and then you turned around and did it to me. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|why the double standard, Chris]], why is it okay to hack into my computer and destroy my files?

'''Chris''': [''Groans, then sighs''] Okay I'm gonna go ahead and- cause you gave me permission to call you, and I'm going to call you, naï- [''static cuts off Chris before he completes the word 'naïve' '']

'''Alec''': Chris, you're cutting off.

'''Chris''': Because I have-I have tried to explain to you as clearly as possible, in my own best words I could come up with, that I'm getting tired of this long, drawn-out conversation, that obviously you're just too naïve to understand! Think about it! Think long and hard-read all my comic pages, from [[Sonichu 0|book number zero]] to the last-to the current page-

'''Alec''': ...help me understand why you threatened me in videos and-and drew yourself breaking into my house and committing multiple felonies. That's what I'm asking an explanation for, I mean the ads, and the naming issue, we settled that, this is a new issue and I'm trying to talk it out with you.

'''Chris''': Okay, yeah okay, well you referenced the Sonichu in your book to be the one from CWCville, and then making him, without my permission, Asperchu's brother. And then without my permission, you took the-

=Part 4=
==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|p3Hh3CC7vMc}}
| stardate = 22 [[January 2010]]
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[#Part 3|Part 3]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]
}} </center>

=== Transcript ===

'''Chris''': -you recreated the Chaotic Combo, and then reformatted their personalities in more ways than one, without my permission! And then you go kill-and then you go kill off with blood and gore detail, and then your recreation of Angelica-the flyer, the grass, and the fighter, who are also known as Angelica, Wild, and Punchy! How do you think I feel about that, how would you like it if I went into blood and gory detail of slicing and dicing Jonas Chu, that green one, [''Alec tries to interrupt''] Jivin, and Max? I'm sorry, what?

'''Alec''': Oh, I just said the green one is, is Peter Chu. Um, okay, I understand why you're angry, but didn't we already establish that the characters I drew are not related to your Chaotic Combo? I mean, in your [[mailbag]], I've seen a lot of people have written to you about the Chaotic Combo, and, you know, other Asperchu similarities and things like that, and your response, almost always, is Alec Benson Leary and Asperchu have no relation to you whatsoever-

'''Chris''': [''sigh''] In reference to the business, as in like, you know, I actually never originally gave you or Mao permission to put the ads on the CWCipedia in the first place, especially in such large proportions where I had to scroll down to even edit the page or even to log in. But I never even gave you permission to put the ads in the introductory box, which is [[Chris and the law|a felony]] that [[Jack Thaddeus]] has violated before-

'''Alec''': Yeah, yeah that Jack guy, that's the name of the guy I know that Mao bought the adspace from. He told me. But um, as I understand the way the ads work is you know, if a website hosts, you know, public adspace that can be purchased for advertising, anybody can buy the rights to advertise.

'''Chris''': Yeah, I get that.

'''Alec''': Yeah, so I mean, how is that illegal that I purchased the adspace? And you said it was illegal, you said it was wrongful a number of times, I know you've used that word-

'''Chris''': Yeah. Because I was not in the loop about this...

'''Alec''': Well, that's between you and your web manager. You should be in the loop about it, I agree about that, you should be in the loop about it. But I can't be held responsible if you didn't get that information from your webmaster.

'''Chris''': [''Sigh''] Alright, well listen, the battery power on my phone is running low, perhaps we could talk again another time. You take care-you take care, stay safe, bye now.

'''Alec''': I'd like to talk-[''cuts off'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Alec Call 2]]|}}

== Sources ==
<references/>

=External Links=
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?7mwd23w3a7wdcv7 Audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNQNdjFES7o The call on YouTube]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Car Pranks

2012-06-28T07:33:59Z

Lime: /* External Links */ - Replacing Mediafire link.

On 2 [[August 2009]], a hero posted Chris's [[Son-Chu|'94 Ford Escort]] for sale on [[Craigslist]] as part of a '''prank'''.

Seven months later, a trio of [[The Miscreants|BEST FRIENDS FOREVER]] contacted Chris, expressing interest in purchasing his car and offering their [[Hex Box]]es to sweeten the deal. Apparently, autistics don't know a good deal when they are given one, and Chris rejected all offers, no matter how innocent, with either [[Chris and anger|rage]] or his [[Chris and his ego|super-egotism]].

The voicemail greeting on Chris's cellphone also appears in the recording. In it he states that he will not take part in any interviews or documentaries under the advice of his "patholosist and [[Chris and the Law|lawyers]]". He also tosses a warning at any [[trolls]] who might be calling. It is not known when Chris recorded this greeting, nor whether it has been updated since.

== Nick Dunbar (0:00 - 0:44)==
'''Chris:''' [''Clipped from start.''] -o? 
'''Nick:''' Hello, is, uh, is this Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes, this is, uh, Christian Chandler, how may I help you? 
'''Nick:''' Hi, um, I'm calling in regards of your Craigslist ad, it says here that you're selling a '94 uh Escort for 400 dollars? 
'''Chris:''' That's, uh, that, that is a fake ad, somebody else put that up there without my consent as a prank. 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure? 
'''Chris:''' I will- 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I am pos- I am 100 percent positive. It's a fraud. Somebody else put it up there. I've already sent a complaint to Craigslist. So, go somewhere else for a car. 
'''Nick:''' Are you sure I can't convince you otherwise, sir? I mean I have a- 
'''Chris:''' [''Chris raises his voice.''] I AM SURE. 
'''Nick:''' You're sure. I have a perfectly good Xbox 360 right here, right next to me- 
'''Chris:''' SHUT UP! 
'''Nick:''' Oka- Excuse me, sir? 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.'']

== Voicemail Greeting (0:45 - 1:17)==
'''Chris:''' Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my publicist and my lawyers to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in- Because I got so much reputation and at stake(?) at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much trollin'(?) stupid? I'm not trollin' stupid, you're trollin' stupid. Have a good day. [''BEEP'']

== [[BlueSpike]] (1:19 - 2:12)==
'''BlueSpike:''' Hey there, is this Mr. Chandler? 
'''Chris:''' Uh... Yes it is. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Good evening, sir. I'm calling regards to the Craigl-Craigslist about the '94 Escort? 
'''Chris:''' Ah. That, that thing has was put up there, it was a fake. I have not put that up there myself. Somebody's using my name my address and it's just- it's just a prank, it's not real. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Alright, no- no reason to get all, upset about it, sir. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, I'm sorry. 
'''BlueSpike:''' I have, uh, a pretty good condition Xbox. 
'''Chris:''' I-I-I am serious. It is not for sale. It never will- [''phone breaks up''] for [''break'']. And would you think I would give up my car for a blatantly stupid [[Hex Box]]? Hex, H-E-X. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Yes, I can spell, sir. Do you prefer the [[PlayStation 3]]? 
'''Chris:''' I'm not selling my car. Good night. 
'''BlueSpike:''' But it was my brother's and now he's dead. 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.''] 

== [[Jack Thaddeus]] (2:13 - 2:43)==
'''Jack:''' Hehe, hi there! I'm sorry to bug you at this- this evening, buddy, but is this Mr. Chandler? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yes it is. May I help you? 
'''Jack:''' I heard you have my bike. A '94 Ford bike? I'll trade you an Xbox for my bike. 
'''Chris:''' Ah... The car is not for sale, that ad was a fake- 
'''Jack:''' I said bike! 
'''Chris:''' -for sale, put up as a joke- 
'''Jack:''' I said bike! I need to have that back. 
'''Chris:''' -it has my address and my name on it. It was a joke. My car is not for sale, goodbye. 
'''Jack:''' This isn't a joke, buddy! My bike! 
[''Default Skype hanging up sound; Chris hangs up.''] 

== External Links ==
* [http://www.mediafire.com/?5s8l39c8oucx9ob Audio download]
* [http://db.tt/eOSKl7Wp Mirror of audio download]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHJ1gev6x7o Listen to them on YouTube!]

{{FanChats}}
[[category:Phone calls]]

Template:Christory/April 22

2012-04-22T19:39:52Z

Lime:

{{Template:Christory Entry
|imagename = Nintendo ss.jpg
|imagecaption = oh
|text = Today in Christory, in '''[[2006]]''', Megan finds out that Chris has bought her a Nintendo DS.
|link = Megan emails, 2005-2006#Megan writes the longest Urgent Message in history
}}
{{Christory Entry Addition
|text = Also, in '''[[2009]]''', Chris creates 3 quizzes for his fans to answer: [http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=305623 Christian Weston Chandler], [http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=305687 CWC Random Humor] and [http://www.mybuzzquiz.com/en_US/actions/PlayQuiz.do?fileID=305561 Sonichu Quiz from CWC].
|link = Quizzes }}
<noinclude>{{usage|1=See [[Template:Christory]] for usage.}}
[[Category:April|{{PAGENAME}}]]</noinclude>

File talk:Fbnote2.PNG

2012-04-02T17:43:08Z

Lime: Created page with "Oops! Didn't realize I made a dupe. My bad. --~~~~"

Oops! Didn't realize I made a dupe. My bad. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 10:43, 2 April 2012 (PDT)

Facebook

2012-04-02T17:06:49Z

Lime: /* Notes From The Man Himself */ - Two new notes.

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 02 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]].

By 14 February 2012, Chris had turned his Facebook account to private and unfindable unless you were already a "friend".

==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm
 
There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.
 
Please do not believe those terrible rumors; I am a good man who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
</blockquote>

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===
<blockquote>
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm
 
When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
</blockquote>

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===
<blockquote>
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm
 
Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.
 
Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
</blockquote>

===What I am looking for in a woman===
<blockquote>
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am
 
**Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
 
</blockquote>

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===
<blockquote>
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm
 
'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
</blockquote>

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===
<blockquote>
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm
 
I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".
</blockquote>

===An Open Note===
<blockquote>
Sunday, April 1, 2012 at 11:12pm
 
I want to make something very clear to everyone on the internet. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is my mother. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a Caring, Compassionate, all-around Good Person. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who turned Coldest Shoulder Against me and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.
 
The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, Barbara, and outside of this house, I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares, and may God have mercy on your souls.
 
You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
</blockquote>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

Kacey and Liquid Call

2012-03-23T19:49:00Z

Lime: /* Transcript */

[[File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|thumb|''Adipem goddammit'' (Fat goddammit)]]

On 11 [[November 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] leaked another phone call to [[/cwc/]].

A follow-up to the original [[Father Call]] bombshell, this call between [[Kacey]] and Solid Chris ([[Ian Brandon Anderson]]) mostly consists of Solid trying to defend his actions in [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]] and life in general until [[Liquid Chris]] arrives. At that point, Solid loses it, and the conversation degenerates into a shouting match.

[[Bob]] and [[Barb]] Chandler also make an appearance as Chris hides behind his mother's (and father's) skirt.

==Summary==

===="You ''shot'' him!" (00:00-09:29)====
Chris asks Kacey if she got the [[Sonichu Special 4|comic]] that he sent her. Kacey expresses horror over the fact that - in said comic - Chris ''shoots'' Liquid. Chris defends himself by noting both that he shot Liquid only in the legs and that Liquid was coming after him with a knife. Kacey doesn't understand why Chris didn't just produce one of his usual [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] stories. Chris replies that he'd thought that this comic should be closer to real life, though he immediately thereafter backpedals to note that he doesn't own a gun in real life. When this account fails to appease Kacey, Chris offers to retcon the offending page out of the comic entirely. Kacey explains to Chris that redrawing the scene won't change the fact that he's demonstrably crazy enough to want to shoot her boyfriend. In a final word of defense, Chris suggests that Liquid is similarly insane.

===="It's a very simple question!" (9:30-13:14)====
In addition to upsetting her with his latest comic, Chris has disappointed Kacey by breaking his promises to clean his room and get into shape. When Kacey asks Chris if he's been jogging five miles a day, there's a long pause before Chris replies that he has. After further interrogation, Chris modifies his answer to say that he has been jogging one-and-a-half miles a day, but that he ''could'' be jogging five. When Kacey points out that Chris was just claiming that he has ''in fact'' been jogging five miles a day, Chris insists that he had simply misunderstood her question.

===="That's ''not'' volunteer work!" (13:15-17:14)====
Since - like Chris himself - the argument over how much Chris jogs is going nowhere, Kacey moves on to discuss further evidence of Chris's sloth. Exhibit B: Chris's ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' date level was originally made for [[Julie|another girl]]. Chris's peculiar defense: that doesn't matter because said other girl turned out to be [[BlueSpike|a dude]]. Kacey then accuses Chris of playing video games when he could've been working on his comic for her, at which point Chris briefly 'TARDS OUT. Thereafter, the hits from Kacey come fast and furious: Chris accomplishes nothing despite not going to school, not working, and not having any friends. Chris replies that although he's not working, he ''is'' filling out job applications. When Kacey questions the existence of Chris's work history, Chris claims that his time spent playing ''Pokémon'' with children counts as volunteer work.

====Father Knows Best (17:15 - 19:50)====
Kacey states that her [[Father Call|father is right]], Chris is insane, and that she should be with Liquid. She states that she hated the apology video, calling it fake, and that Ian's behavior was like that of a spoiled brat. Ian responds harshly, saying that he really cried. Kacey finally sees the light, saying that Ian only wants her [[China|for]] [[Chris and Sex|one]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler|thing]] and that he just wanted to take her away from Liquid to spite him. She reveals that Solid Chris told her not to talk to Liquid or see him again. Ian is either trying to be smooth or trying to [[Chris and psychology|guilt]] her into giving up by saying the first thing he thinks of when he thinks of her is what a great [[Gal pal|friend]] she is.

====Sonichu di Casanova (19:51 -22:40)====
Ian begins talking quietly, in small, generic sentences about how much he cares about [[China|her]]. He says that if someone were to shoot Kacey, he would be sad. Ian states how she has been nothing but good to him. Kacey declares she hates liars. Apparently, the first time they met, he did nothing but stare at Kacey's chest and insult her. Ian declares he was looking at her face, and ignores the fact that he called her fat. She points out that her face isn't under her shirt.

====Here Come the Drums (22:41-30:17)====
Things turn truly interesting when [[CChanSonichuCWC|the real Chris]] picks up the phone on Kacey's end. Solid and Liquid yell over each other for quite a while. Kacey accuses Ian of forging his driver's license and he denies being fat. In the middle of conversation, Solid goes into 'tard rage mode and yells at Liquid and Kacey. Liquid is going to the police with the [[Sonichu Special 4|gun comic]].

===="Stop being crazy!" (30:18-35:40)====
Kacey doesn't think Ian is [[Autism|autistic]]. Solid invites Liquid over, but Kacey warns him that he will get shot. It is revealed that Liquid and Kacey were making passionate love at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Solid is enraged. Kacey thinks that Ian doesn't care about her, and that he is too busy being Chris.

====Grand Finale (35:41 and onward)====
Kacey's dad likes Liquid, not Solid. Liquid will turn [[Sonichu]] into a real franchise. Liquid has a job. Ian whines about truth and honesty. He wakes up his parents at midnight to scare off [[trolls]] on the phone. Barbara calls Kacey a bitch. Kacey tells Ian to fuck off. Liquid and Kacey will get married. Solid will chase Liquid down and prove him as the liar.

==Transcript==

'''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hey, Chris! It's Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' Hey, Kacey. How are you?
 '''Kacey:''' [''draws air through teeth''] Um... I'm okay.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Mmm. So, did you get the, uh, comic pages I sent ya?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah! Um... I'm a little ''disturbed'' by the ''violence'' in it. You— You— You ''shot'' Chris!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Only in the ''legs''. So he wouldn't g— So he wouldn’t co— So he wouldn't chase after us.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's— That's horrible! That's really horrible! Like, he'd be in a wheelchair! Like, he wouldn't do that to you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well... I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' Like, why did you think that was ''appropriate''? Otherwise, I mean, it was good, but... [''briefly cries and sniffles'']
 '''Kacey:''' I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well, I mean, like...
 '''Kacey:''' —he's a lot ''nicer'' than that. You're trying to make yourself look better than him, but you ''shot'' him!
 '''Chris:''' Well, he came after me— Well, I pretty much drew him coming after me with a ''knife''!
 '''Kacey:''' Bu— But— But ''still'', I mean, haven't you ever heard that it's more ''honorable'' to— To kill a man than to cripple him? And, I mean, it— I mean, it's your comic! You drew it!
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well...I didn't really ''want'' to ''kill'' him. I mean, I didn’t wa— I-I don't... Would you rather have— I have actually shot him ''dead'' instead of just...shooting him in the ''legs''?
 '''Kacey:''' Well, I-I'd rather you—
 '''Chris:''' Or—
 '''Kacey:''' —not have shot him at ''all'', but, I mean, I'm just ''saying'': it’s like, why did you have to make it so violent? Like, normally, in your comics, you, like, ''transform'' into Chris-chan Sonichu and beat them that way. Like, I've ''never'' seen you, like, attempt to ''kill'' somebody...in a ''comic'' before!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Uh, well, I mean, I just felt like in the… I mean, I just felt like I should be more...I don't know...more real— ''realistic'' in...''these'' pages, ‘cause it's more close to real ''life'', uh—
 '''Kacey:''' So, you're saying that—
 '''Chris:''' —y’know—
 '''Kacey:''' —you would shoot him in real life?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, in se— In self-''defense''! Mmm... I mean, yeah, my— In that— In— Y’know, seriously, though, I mean, like, y’know... In real life, I ''would'' appre— I would, uh, try— I would, uh—
 '''Kacey:''' Where would you get a gun, anyway?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... Well, I don’t— I do not currently own a real gun. I do not own a real gun. I drew that gun based off— Based off the, uh— Based off...Generation 1 Megatron.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh. Okay, so, you're basing...shooting him...on— On...''Transformers''? What?
 '''Chris:''' Uh...no. Y’see, I have the— I have the, uh, actual toy for, uh, Generation 1 Megatron. Y’know, where he actually transforms into a P38 pistol with the, uh, accessories on it?
 '''Kacey:''' I know, but you shot him with a ''real'' gun in the comic. Like— Like...he was my boyfriend and you shot him! I mean, don't you think that I still care about him ''a little''? That's just weird. I just— I mean, like— I was expecting, like— you know, like, a magical fight, not like...you ''shooting'' him. [''laughs incredulously'']
 '''Chris:''' Mmm... [''smacks lips''] Well... Well, I did not realize you want— You wanted me to...cute it up a little— Cute it up a little bit in that sense. I mean, you wanted me to rescue you, and I...didn't really want— I just didn’t really feel like, uh...cute— That cute— That, uh— That...whole transformation thing was ''appropriate''.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, uh, neither is shooting him! I mean, you can't change that! You already did that! I mean, this is the comic; I realize it’s the comic. It's supposed to be...like, ''not'' shooting people; it’s supposed to be like...the ''Sonichu''...comic. But, I mean, you— You shot him.
 '''Chris:''' Well...it's not officially ''published'' yet. I mean, I only— I mean, I can— I can change that ''page''. I can ''change'' that. I can fix that. [''long pause''] I can...get rid of the gun, and just... Yeah, maybe— Yeah, may— Yeah, I can make it less viol— ''Violent''. Okay?
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Um... I mean, but you already did it. I mean, what's done is done.
 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, but— Yeah, but I can change that page. I can redraw it.
 '''Kacey:''' But you already did it. The images are already in my head!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Um... Okay, well, I'm sorry for— I did not mean for it to—
 '''Kacey:''' But Chris, that's crazy! I mean, that’s insane! You're— You’re calling...''Chris'' crazy, but ''that's'' insane. I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Well—
 '''Kacey:''' —it doesn't change the fact that you wanted to ''shoot'' him.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I— Yeah, I guess it doesn't. Mmm...
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, I don't feel ''comfortable'' with people like that. I mean, ''I'm'' going to school to ''save'' lives. Do you think I would approve of that? I mean, ''hell'' no! That’s crazy!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well... Yeah, okay. Yeah. I could’ve done it better; I could’ve done it less violent. I'm sorry.
 '''Kacey:''' [''growing hysterical''] If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place! I mean, like, you drew him...there...in ''pain'', and you're just ''watching'' him ''bleed'', and then you ''leave'' him! Like, uh— Like, what happens if you do that in real life? He'd die! Don't you think I would be miserable?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm... No, actually, I would have called 9-1-1 on him. Y’know...bring the police and the ambulance around.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay...and be what? Be like, "''I'' shot ''him''"? They're gonna arrest you! You're gonna call 9-1-1 on yourself? Violence doesn’t solve anything. I mean, you could’ve not shot him in the first place! 'Cause the police are just gonna go after ''you'' then. And— And then, there would be none of ''either'' of you.
 '''Chris:''' Alright. You’re right. You’re right.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean— And especially, where you ''shot'' him, like in the ''legs''? Hello? Gravity! He's gonna lose blood a lot quicker!
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright, well... Like I said, I can— I can— I can redraw that, ’cause, y’know, uh...it's not published anywhere. It's not published anywhere. It's like, yeah, I can— I can...undo that. I can redraw that page. I can change that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, I don't want you to redraw it! I don't want you to redraw it. Okay? It's already done. It— It's— I have no words to describe it. I mean...[''exhales angrily''] like...th— You did this...after the thing with my ''father'', and he told my ''brother'' about it, and my ''sister'' about it. Like, my whole ''family'' is against you. They think ''you're'' crazy. I mean, this is about your intentions, and now, what am I— What's gonna happen if, like...somebody ''sees'' this? They're gonna think you're ''insane''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...nobody ''has''— Nobody ''else'' has to see it.
 '''Kacey:''' But what happens if they did? I ''don't'' get why you had to shoot my boyfriend. What the hell?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well...my— In my defense, uh...''he'' was crazy, too.
 '''Kacey:''' But he didn't ''shoot'' you!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, ''he's'' not crazy. He at least has police reports saying what happened to him, and I ''totally'' believe him. I mean, he can't ''fake'' that. And, I mean, I can't believe you ''did'' that. And, I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Okay! Okay, okay. Okay, Kacey?
 '''Kacey:''' And I was ''starting'' to believe in you again, even though...''you'' do all these things, like: you never clean your room; you never made the song; you didn't stop eating fast food, ’cause I ''totally'' know about the whole McDonald’s thing. So—
 '''Chris:''' Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' —I mean—
 '''Chris:''' —see, I-I-I— Okay. Well, I ''have'' d— I ''have'' done some room cleaning. I mean, I-I—
 '''Kacey:''' You were supposed to have it done, like, a ''month ago''! And you ''still'' can't ''jog'', or work out, or whatever...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. I-I-I am! I ''have'' been jogging. I ''have'' been working out. I ''have'' been doing all that.
 '''Kacey:''' Five miles a day?
 [''long pause'']
 '''Chris:''' I have.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' You— You've been jogging ''five'' miles a day? Seriously...you're ''lying'' to me. I need ''proof'' for this. [''pause''] I mean—
 '''Chris:''' Alright.
 '''Kacey:''' —I bet you don't have the gym membership or ''anything''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, not ''yet'' on the gym membership; I'm jogging arou— Um, I’m jogging around the ''neighborhood''.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but I doubt it's for ''five miles''. You're seriously doing five miles? Come on.
 '''Chris:''' It’s like... Okay—
 '''Kacey:''' You complained—
 '''Chris:''' —it’s like, over—
 '''Kacey:''' —to my ''father'' about ''pulling weeds''. I ''doubt''...you're gonna do five miles.
 '''Chris:''' I can do five miles, Kacey.
 '''Kacey:''' Okay—
 '''Chris:''' I can jog five miles.
 '''Kacey:''' —have you— Have you— Did you do it today? ’Cause you told me you're—
 '''Chris:''' I jog—
 '''Kacey:''' —doing it every day, so obviously, you did it ''today''?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I did it today. I jogged...''once'' around the neighborhood. That's about one-and-a-half miles. I could jog more than that, and, uh, jog up to ''five'' miles. I can do that.
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said you j— You just told me that you jogged five miles every day. You're lying to me ''already''? To my face?
 '''Chris:''' No, no. Okay, okay, wait. We had a ''miscommunication''...alright?
 '''Kacey:''' No, you said "''yes''". ''I'' said "Do ''you'' jog five miles every day?", and you said "''yes''". That's not miscommunication; that's ''lies''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I mis— I misunderstood the ''question''. I thought you said—
 '''Kacey:''' [''speaking rapidly''] How can you misunderstand the question? It's a very simple question! I wasn't asking it to you in Japanese!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay. Alright. But anyway, yeah, I have been jogging one-and-a-half miles every day.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Bullshit!'' Kim and I talked about how much you "jog". I ''know'' you don't jog.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I do.
 '''Kacey:''' Five minutes isn't jogging. You can’t even do enough to get your ''heart'' rate up.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, I can.
 [pause]
 '''Kacey:''' ''No'', you can't.
 '''Chris:''' And I do.
 '''Kacey:''' You just sit around and play video games. You haven't done anything you said you were gonna do for me, and then you— You show a comic with you ''shooting people''! And— And— And— And...I'm supposed to be like "Yay! Thank you!"?
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Alright. Well, yeah, I— Okay, well, I admit I was wrong in drawing that. And...I cannot undo it, but...okay, well, what can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' For what? The comic? Jogging? It— It's too late. You— I mean, it's ''done''.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, we're— Well, we’re talking ’bout for the comic, still, here. What can I do to make up for that?
 '''Kacey:''' You shot someone! You can't make up for it. I'm gonna remember that! That's creepy! That's insane!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' You’re right...
 '''Kacey:''' ''Besides''— And ''I'' found out that ''you'' didn't ''even'' make that date level for me. I heard you made it for another girl. That's ''so'' disrespectful.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, in my defense, I thought when I— Uh, before I-I later found out that that...quote/unquote "girl" was actually a ''dude''.
 '''Kacey:''' ''Doesn't matter.'' No wonder you said it was so easy: ’cause you already had it ''done''!
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' But— But— But ''still'', the— But still-
 '''Kacey:''' That's not the point!
 '''Chris:''' —I created the whole new level of—
 '''Kacey:''' No wonder you didn’t want to do the comic! You probably weren't even gonna do the comic, besides when I kept...''bitching'' at you.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Well, I did...[''stutters unintelligibly''] I did the comic! I did.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, ''eventually''...
 '''Chris:''' I had— I had it ''started'', and I had it mostly done! I finished coloring it today, and I-I-I sent it to you.
 '''Kacey:''' But you even ''put'' in the video that you were doing this in— Instead of a comic because it was easier. You just wanted to play more video games.
 '''Chris:''' Well... Okay, well, ba— [''stress sighs''] Well, I m— I mis''worded'' that. I meant— I m— I meant to say "in ''addition'' to the comic." Okay?
 '''Kacey:''' No... I think you weren’t gonna do it. I think you were lying.
 '''Chris:''' [''starts 'tarding out''] NO, I WAS— NO, I WAS— NO, I HAD— I HAD IT...[''calms back down''] already— I had it ''started'', after I had— I ''had'' started. I started on it ''after'' I did the level. And then, I— And I had it almost done. I just— Just needed to color in the f-final pages today. And I did that! And—
 '''Kacey:''' Well then, you should’ve said that. And don’t you ''dare'' fucking...raise your voice at me. I mean, why couldn't you have done it? You could’ve finished it in less than a day; you don't even have a ''job''. You don't ''do'' anything.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I...[''stress sighs''] I ''am'' doing something; I ''am'' working—
 '''Kacey:''' Like what?
 '''Chris:''' I ''am'' working on—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you—
 '''Chris:''' I ''have'' done—
 '''Kacey:''' What do you have to do all day? You don't go to school like I do; you don't go to ''work'' like I do.
 '''Chris:''' But I am working on ''getting''—
 '''Kacey:''' You obviously don't go out with ''friends'' like I do!
 '''Chris:''' I'm filling out the onli— I'm filling out the ''applications'', so I can work— So, I'm ''working'' on getting a job!
 '''Kacey:''' That doesn't take all day. I've been putting in applications to get a new job. It takes me, like, five minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Actually, for me, it— Actually, for me, it takes, like, about ten or twenty minutes.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Well, y’know, you filling out something should be fairly easy ’cause you don't really have any ''work'' history. It takes, like, ''five'' minutes when you don't.
 '''Chris:''' No, actually, I ''do'' have the work ''history''. And I listed it in my resume.
 [''pause'']
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but nobody wants to hear about.. fucking...Sonichu and Rosechu. That's not a good way to get a job!
 '''Chris:''' There's more— I mean, y’know, c’mon— There's more to it than...''that''. There's the, uh...''time at Wendy’s''. And then, I worked at—
 '''Kacey:''' You got fired. That's not good either.
 '''Chris:''' And definitely— And definitely did the volunteer work at the— For the ''Pokémon Trading Card Game'' League.
 '''Kacey:''' That’s ''not'' volunteer work! That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. Like, that’s not community service!
 '''Chris:''' It ''was'' volunteer work.
 '''Kacey:''' That does ''not'' count as volunteer work. I ''promise'' you that if ''you'' needed volunteer work for something, that would ''not'' count; that is ''not'' community service. I mean, you were already there to ''play'' ''Pokémon''? That’s ''not'' community service; that's ''babysitting''.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, well... Yes, okay, well, that ''was'' babysitting, but it was ''volunteer'' babysitting.
 '''Kacey:''' [''nearly laughing in disbelief''] Still. Not. Community. Service. Community service is like [[Wikipedia:Candy striper|''candy'' striping]], helping out with the ''humane'' society, going and ''reading'' to people in old folks’ homes, planting some ''trees''! Uh, uh, um... ''Humanity''— Uh, the— Habitat for ''Humanity''! ''That's'' community service: things that actually contribute to society. ''Pokémon'' does not contribute to society. [''long pause''] You know, my dad's totally right. You're fucking insane. And I should be with Chris, because you totally opened my eyes.
 '''Chris:''' Don't say that... Don't say that, that just makes me... That just makes me feel bad... I do not mean to give off the impression of being crazy.
 '''Kacey:''' But you're being selfish, you won't do anything for me. Okay, yeah, you finally made the comic, but then you— Oh, my God. I mean, you were so nasty to my family, you just— You don't even seem apologetic at all. I mean, that whole video you made sounded so fake. That was like what my little sister does when she doesn't get her way, like a spoiled retarded brat.
 '''Chris:''' [''whining''] THAT WAS TRUE, I CRIED. I DID CRY.
 '''Kacey:''' Those weren't even REAL TEARS.
 '''Chris:''' THEY WERE REAL.
 '''Kacey:''' NO, THEY WERE NOT. Don't raise your voice, seriously. That is what Kara does when she doesn't get her way.
 '''Chris:''' Those were real tears.
 '''Kacey:''' No, they weren't. I really think my dad's right, I think you just want me so you can fuck me and take me from Chris, 'cause you're jealous of Chris.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, that's not it.
 '''Kacey:''' YOU ARE JEALOUS. You told me not to talk to him anymore, you told me not to see him. The hell is up with that? That's my BOYFRIEND. I mean, that was like, he's the love of my life. You just want Crystal or something. You mentioned that to my dad, that creeped my dad OUT. And then you couldn't even give my dad a reason you're better than him. What am I supposed to think? I mean, what are you thinking about when you think of me, tell me right now. What are you thinking about when you think of me?
 '''Chris:''' I think about, like...how good of a friend you are. And how I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? Chris...
 '''Chris:''' And how you care about me.
 '''Kacey:''' A friend? You just said "a friend," that sounds like a stalker. Come on, seriously, what do you think about me? How do you care about me?
 '''Chris:''' I care about you very much.
 '''Kacey:''' How? Not how big.
 '''Chris:''' I worry about you—
 '''Kacey:''' You worry about me HOW? Maybe you should be more worried about me hanging around people who would SHOOT PEOPLE.
 '''Chris:''' Well, I care about your safety and well-being, and if someone shot you, I would care about you and feel sad...
 '''Kacey:''' Did you just say if someone would SHOOT ME?
 '''Chris:''' In my defense—
 '''Kacey:''' Maybe YOU'LL shoot me if I pissed you off. Come on.
 '''Chris:''' I would not shoot you.
 '''Kacey:''' Why not? You're obviously just— UGH!!!
 '''Chris:''' I do not even have a real gun.
 '''Kacey:''' But that's unstable, that is SO unstable.
 '''Chris:''' ...Okay. Okay, I guess it is. I guess it is unstable. But...Kacey, I... When I think about you, I think about, like, the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever known in my life, who's been nothing but helpful to me.
 '''Kacey:''' So, then why are you gonna treat my family like that? Why are you gonna treat my boyfriend like that? Why are you gonna treat people I know like that? You lie to me and Kim all the time, and Kim's one of my best friends now.
 [''dramatic pause'']
 '''Chris:''' Because I'm not... Sometimes, I'm not sure what to say. And—
 '''Kacey:''' So you lie? Because that's gonna be good... Why would you lie to your friends? Lying to your friends isn't good.
 '''Chris:''' I'm most of... I mean...most of the time I'm honest. And when I do lie, it's a little lie.
 '''Kacey:''' No, there's no such thing as "little lies", all of them are big lies, especially... Me? I hate lies when you don't need to lie about them; stupid lies are the worst lies. I'd rather have a huge big lie than a little lie. You lie ALL THE TIME. That's pathetic.
 '''Chris:''' I do not lie all the time, I lie ''some'' of the time.
 '''Kacey:''' And I mean you, like— Come on, you're lucky I gave you this much of a chance. First time you met me, all you did was stare at my chest and insult me. I mean, I can't understand how you called me fat and the— On the other hand, you were staring at me the whole time.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face, I was staring at your face.
 '''Kacey:''' My face is not down there, I'm not that short.
 '''Chris:''' No, no, I— [''Liquid interrupts'']
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, baby, I'm home.
 '''Chris:''' I was looking at your face...
 '''Liquid:''' Who are you talking to? Hmm... Lemme pick up the phone here. Hey, who's this?
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Liquid:''' Hmm...
 '''Chris:''' Hello? ...Yeah—
 '''Liquid:''' Hey, wait a minute. Ugh, is this who I think it is?
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, it is.
 '''Liquid:''' Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson?
 '''Chris:''' No, my name is Christian Weston Chandler. You know that.
 '''Liquid:''' No, it's not. MY name is Christian Weston Chandler and YOU are Ian Brandon Anderson. What are you doing talking to Kacey?
 '''Chris:''' She and I are friends. And my name is Christian [''inaudible'']
 '''Kacey:''' Wait, wait, which am I? Am I your girlfriend or your friend? You keep going back and forth. You're lying again.
 '''Liquid:''' You will always stay friends, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson. THAT IS AS FAR AS YOU GO!!!
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look! Chris! I'm so sick of you callin' me by that stupid name! I being myself, B means specifying who I am, A being singular, and Chandler being my last name! It was just a YouTube name! There is no such person as "Ian Brandon Anderson"!
 '''Liquid:''' Shut your stupid... Shut your mouth! You are— You are— You are Ian Brandon Anderson, I am...
 '''Kacey:''' I'm starting to really think you are Ian. Because, I mean, you lied to me about everything already. So why wouldn't you lie to me about that?
 '''Chris:''' No! Kacey! You saw my— You saw my driver's license!
 '''Kacey:''' You can fake those! You accused Chris of faking it, so why couldn't you? Maybe that's why you accused him of faking it, because you know to fake it?
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' Now wait a minute, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Don't you raise your voice at me!
 '''Chris:''' I got that, I got my driver's license from the DEE-EM-VEE!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No you didn't, because your— Yours is obviously a forgery of my own good name!
 '''Chris:''' NO!!! NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' I am the real deal! I can...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up!
 '''Chris:''' I have all the proof and everything! You're just— You're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're a copycat, because all you've been doing is copying my— My moves, throughout my entire life! You say this...
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No! You've been copying me for the past three and six months!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you can't even— No...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, who am I going to believe? The guy who's hot and sexy and can play a guitar, or the person who lies to me every fucking night? I mean, come on. You ditched me the moment Chris came on the phone! Also, we're ''friends'' again? Yeah, this is why I'm with Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and not to mention that he is fat and ugly.
 '''Chris:''' [''BOOM! 'TARD RAGE!''] I AM NOT FAT, GODDAMMIT!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are! You look like you weigh a good 220 pounds.
 '''Chris:''' I do not weigh 220 pounds! I weigh less— I weigh a lot less than that, you— You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Liquid:''' Fuck that, you probably weigh about 300...[''Liquid continues to talk smack over Chris, but he is almost impossible to hear.'']
 '''Kacey:''' Like you would know...
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of you putting me down and— And calling me all these insults to my face! AND MY NAME IS TRULY CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! I'm so sick of you pretending to be me and pretending to have all the rights to everything of mine...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to pretend to be you? He's obviously better!
 '''Chris:''' What the hell have you got— Have you had against me that— What the hell have you had against me that was like— That came up even before the year 2000? What the hell, Chris? You tell me right now!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. I have the copyright— I have the copyright and you do not.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, yes— Oh, yes I do! Your copyright is a forgery! But anyway! All this— All this you've been doing to me, what the hell? Why have— Why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh. I told you, I have not started doing anything, you did everything, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson, when you decided...
 '''Chris:''' [''EXPLODING WITH HALF-COHERENT RAGE''] MY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER, AND I'LL THANK YOU TO CALL ME THAT!!!
 '''Kacey:''' Hey! Don't talk to my boyfriend like that! And don't curse around me! Come on!
 '''Liquid:''' Ha! I called you something, MY name is Christian Weston Chandler, and it has been my— My— Has been my God-given name my entire life!
 '''Chris:''' Fine! Your name is Christian Weston Chandler, my name is Christian Weston Chandler, both Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:'''No it's— It's not! [unintelligible]
 '''Chris:''' ...but don't go claiming copyright to my Sonichu! You...
 '''Liquid:''' No!
 '''Kacey:''' He's got the copyright, you can't fake that. It's direct from the government.
 '''Liquid:''' That has always been mine. Sonichu has been mine— Sonichu has been mine ever since I came up with him in the wilds of Manchester High School.
 '''Kacey:''' That's why he showed it first, to prove it...
 '''Chris:''' You've never been to Manchester High School!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I have! I went there for four— For four damn years!
 '''Chris:''' You— But you— You stand right next... I tell you what. You stand right next to me in front of Mrs. Lori Jones, that was the— Was the— One of the teachers over at Manchester High School...
 '''Liquid:''' I am the real and true...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, stop yelling at my boyfriend! Be respectful!
 '''Chris:''' [''Talking over both Kacey and Liquid now''] Or even from Mr. Pascarelli, who was the principal there! Go up right in front of him, and he would say ''I'' am the real Christian Weston Chandler and that ''you'' are the fake!
 '''Liquid:''' That's it— No, she will point at you and say, "Oh yeah, who's this?" And I will say "That— This, my teacher, is Ian Brandon Anderson."
 '''Kacey:''' That— Thanks for ignoring me, this is exactly why I'm going back to Chris. This is retarded. Just like you.
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh, pause''] Oh, Jesus. Look, Kacey, I'm sorry, but he had to get— But he— He just came in and...came against me...
 '''Liquid:''' Oh, gimme a break! Oh, gimme a break! You have been lying this whole time...
 '''Chris:''' YOU SHUT UP!!! YOU SHUT UP!!! You've been nothing but a pain in my— Pain in my side. You've been nothing but a pain in the friendship to— Relationship between me and Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well— Yeah, no, you would not even— You wouldn't have access to her if it— If it was not for me, because if you hadn't been copying me this whole time, you would never even have been...
 '''Chris:''' I HAVE NOT BEEN COPYING YOU, ''YOU'' HAVE BEEN COPYING ''ME''!!!
 '''Kacey:''' God! How naïve! What relationship?
 '''Liquid:''' This is not even true, it has— Not even true. You are a liar and a fraud! You naïve bastard!
 '''Chris:''' No! You are the liar, you are the fraud. I am so sick of you putting me— Of you calling me all that— When ''you'' know, and ''I'' know, and everybody in the whole world knows that you have been the impostor...
 '''Kacey:''' Stop it! You see? What am I supposed to do?
 '''Liquid:''' No! No!
 '''Kacey:''' You see, he's at least defending me. All you're doing is arguing with him! Who do I think wants me more? Obviously, Chris does.
 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' You know I love you, baby. Yeah— Yeah, you come to who loves you.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, uh— Okay, well, I'm sorry...
 '''Liquid:''' You never even had a chance, Mr. Ian Brandon Anderson! You make me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— MY NAME IS— NO, NO, NO!!!
 '''Liquid:''' No, I already know— I have found out who you are.
 '''Kacey:''' See? Look! You're getting so worked up over stupid shit! Why would I want to be with someone that naïve?
 '''Chris:''' I am so sick of that word!
 '''Kacey:''' It's just a word. It's just a word!
 '''Liquid:''' You are na— You are naïve! And if I ever found you, I would say it straight to your face!
 '''Chris:''' [''drowning out Liquid''] You can find me right now! I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia! Just— Just over a hundred miles away from Kacey! You go— Look it up...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address...
 '''Kacey:''' Why would he want to leave here? Because he'll at least come to me, so why would he want to leave?
 '''Liquid:''' You are just copying my address, you know that's my address!
 '''Kacey:''' In fact, you'll just shoot him!
 '''Chris:''' If I knew where— If I knew where Kacey lived, I'd come over there. I would be over there straight as a pistol, quick as a pistol.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, right.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, speaking of the pistol, Kacey showed me the comic, where you supposedly shot me! Yeah, and I am gonna take that to the police, because that is conspiracy to commit murder and that is a felony!
 '''Chris:''' Well, who are they gonna believe? You are not the— You are not Christian Weston— You are not me! You are not...
 '''Kacey:''' Yes, he is! He is Christian Weston Chandler! When are you gonna stop being an idiot?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, you are Christian Weston Chandler, but you are not THE Christian Weston Chandler that went to Manchester High School!
 '''Kacey:''' Stop being crazy!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! Yes, I am! I have been the entire time!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not!
 '''Liquid:''' And, not only that...
 '''Chris:''' YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD!!! Go ahead and take it to the police.
 '''Liquid:''' I will.
 '''Chris:''' And then we can have the police identify between you and me and find out who was the real Christian Weston Chandler...
 '''Liquid:''' I'm sure they will be happy to...
 '''Chris:''' ...who has the actual life, who has the autism, who created Sonichu in the first place! I dare you to go to the police!
 '''Liquid:''' I created Sonichu in the first place and you know that! You're trying to— You're trying to get off on my...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, what about me? What about me? I know you don't have autism papers. You cannot. You wouldn't even show me. You don't act like an autistic, for one. I mean, come on, I'm in the medical field, I've worked with them.
 '''Chris:''' I have...
 '''Kacey:''' For one, they're usually really smart. Number two, they're not really this narcissistic. I mean, there's— I can go on and on. I mean, you're not even caring that I'm here! You're not fighting for me! You know what? Fuck you! GOD!!! You're, like, bipolar, not autistic.
 '''Chris:''' I do have the papers! My family has the papers!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Yeah, if you have them, you would scan them and put them on the Internets.
 '''Kacey:''' They're probably fake, just like your driver's license, just like everything else.
 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] Look. Christian.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah?
 '''Chris:''' Christian. I invite you to come— I invite you to— Write this down. 14 Branchland Court...
 '''Kacey:''' No! Why, so you can shoot my boyfriend?
 '''Liquid:''' That is my address! That is my dang address! And you're just copying it! You're just a little copy...
 '''Chris:''' No, that is— That is my address. You— You— You have never even been...
 '''Liquid:''' No, you're just... You already know that that is my address and you're trying to impersonate me, so you are...
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, don't even listen to him, because you can stay here with me.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Look. Look. Christian. Listen to me. You claim this is your address, but you have never been anywhere near it. I dare you to actually come to this actual address...
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know? Are you tracking him, are you stalking him?
 '''Liquid:''' I am there right now!
 '''Chris:''' No, you are not. 14 Branchland Court, Ruckersville, Virginia, 22968!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Chants the last digits of the zip code with him''] Yeah. I know that. That is my address.
 '''Chris:''' You are not— You are— You are not in that address!
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am!
 '''Chris:''' There is no way that that address is over there in D.C. It's right here! Where I'm standing!
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh! I am not interested. How many times do I have to get that through your stupid skull? You are so stupid! I am in Ruckersville, Virginia!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' I have been in Ruckersville, Virginia, for a very long time now!
 '''Kacey:''' What?
 '''Chris:''' Wait a minute— Okay, hold it— Stop, stop. Okay, Kacey, are you both really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Kacey:''' Does it matter? Why are you talking to me now? You've been ignoring me the whole time and ''now'' you're talking to me? I mean, and shit, you're finally talking to me and you're not even fighting for me. Fuck this. He's at my place. I already said that.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, yeah... No, you listen— You listen— You listen— Hey, you listen to me!
 '''Chris:''' He's at your place, but it's not 14 Branchland Court, is it?
 '''Kacey:''' I don't live there, of course not! The hell? That's where ''he'' lives, not me.
 '''Chris:''' Right.
 '''Liquid:''' Ugh, ugh! I am telling you right now, I am— I am telling you, this— This accusation of— Of shooting me is really gonna go far. Because I saw that— It is nothing more than firearm pornography. Yeah, yeah, I— It just made me so scared for my life, because of some stalker named Ian Brandon Anderson coming after me...
 '''Chris:''' MY NAME— I AM CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER!!! When are you going to... I mean, Kacey has been to your house, and I know that your house is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' It is! Yes, it is!
 '''Chris:''' It is not!
 '''Liquid:''' It is!
 '''Chris:''' Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, and she has been to my house...
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, if you have...
 '''Liquid:''' ...and we were making passionate love to each other!
 '''Chris:''' But it is not 14 Branchland Court.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, it is! And that is where— Exactly where we were making passionate love.
 '''Kacey:''' Chris, you don't even care about me, do you? You don't care about me, because you... You, you're more worried about being Ian Brandon Anderson than the fact that I'm right here!
 '''Chris:''' Ah, Jesus, Kacey... Yeah, okay...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why Chris is here and you're not.
 '''Chris:''' No, Kacey, please...
 '''Kacey:''' This is why my family loves him and not you.
 '''Liquid:''' [''First part of sentence is drowned out'']...that he is Ian Brandon Anderson, he is a psychopath! He's not sane!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey...
 '''Kacey:''' I think I'm starting to realize that. I mean, you're delusional!
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey, you know it— You know it— You know that I'm true, please— Believe— Please, Kacey, don't do— Don't do this...
 '''Liquid:''' No, he is not true! He is a liar and a fraud, he...
 '''Kacey:''' What about everything you said? You compared my grandma dying to your dog dying. I've had dogs die before, too. Not anything like Grandma dying. You know, just saying.
 '''Liquid:''' And I would never be that disrespectful, because I am the real, loyal...
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that lousy— Okay, I'm sorry about that comparison, Kacey.
 '''Liquid:''' Oh yeah, just shut up, you're not going to make it up this time. You are— You have always just been this naïve, because that's all— That's all you've ever been, just a...
 '''Kacey:''' [''Drowns out Liquid''] And you pissed off my family. I mean, my family hates you.
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Okay, well...
 '''Liquid:''' Just shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' My dad gave Chris his blessing, not you.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, I am the only one deserving of the blessing, because I have proven myself worthy of it.
 '''Chris:''' Okay, okay, okay— Well, you can have— Okay, that's fine, you can have Kacey...
 '''Liquid:''' Okay, yeah— Shut up! Yeah!
 '''Chris:''' ...but you— But you— But I say— You know— But you know it, and I know it, that you are not all that, and I am the original Christian Weston Chandler— I am Christian Weston Chandler, I created everything there!
 '''Liquid:''' [''Much of his statement is drowned out.'']...original copyright on the Sonichu!
 '''Chris:''' No, you do not!
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been mine, and I am going to turn it into a real franchise!
 '''Chris:''' No, you— No, you are not! You are not! I am— I am. You are not! I am!
 '''Liquid:''' You are not— You're just a nobody!
 '''Chris:''' You're— You're just a— You're— No, you're the— No, you're the nobody, you're the copycat!
 '''Liquid:''' Sure, you're just a nobody, you don't have the real TRUE and HONEST fanbase.
 '''Chris:''' [''about to cry''] I am so sick of this! [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Kacey:''' You don't even have the papers. Until you prove it, you have nothing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you are just a worthless waste of life.
 '''Chris:''' Oh! Geh— No, you are the worthless waste of life, Chris!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you are!
 '''Kacey:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
 '''Liquid:''' I am doing something with my time, Mr. Anderson, except for just copying someone else.
 '''Kacey:''' He has a job, he does things!
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, he has a job, but he's not— You know that he's not the original creator of Sonichu, you know he just...
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I am! I am!
 '''Kacey:''' How do I know that anymore? You lie to me all the time! And I've watched him draw.
 '''Liquid:''' I draw— I draw Sonichu for you all the time, Kacey.
 '''Chris:''' He— He— But he does not have the same drawing style I's drew— I do— I showed you my— It was right there in front of you at the Fashion Square Mall!
 '''Kacey:''' [''Chris drowns out part of her reply.''] I know, but I mean, I could draw it, too. I can... [''sigh''] It's not that important to me, anyways. Sonichu is some kids' thing.
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' It has always been my original hand-drawing style. It's the same kind that I used in the walls of Manchester High School.
 '''Chris:''' You have never been to Manchester High School.
 '''Liquid:''' Yes, I have!
 '''Kacey:''' How do you know that? Unless you've been keeping tabs on him his whole life.
 '''Chris:''' Because he has...
 '''Liquid:''' Graduated class of 2000!
 '''Chris:''' He's only prete— He's only pretending that— He's stealing me, he's stealing all that. He's just copying.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, obviously you don't care about me, because you said he can have me, so, I mean, fuck you.
 '''Chris:''' No, I— No, I do care about you, Kacey!
 '''Liquid:''' No, you don't. Stop the charade, we already know you're a liar, Mr. Ian Brandon...
 '''Kacey:''' The only thing that you care about is being Christian Weston Chandler. Thanks for showing me that you care about me! You lied to me this whole time!
 '''Chris:''' [''loud, angry sigh''] No, I...
 '''Liquid:''' Shut up.
 '''Chris:''' [''RAGE''] I HAVE NOT BEEN LYING TO YOU, KACEY!!! GOD!!!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you have been! You've been lying to everyone on the Internet!
 '''Chris:''' I have not been lying to anybody! [''breaking down''] I have been honest and true.
 '''Liquid:''' You have not!
 '''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Oh, hang on a second, guys...
 '''Liquid:''' You are just a fraud! Your whole life is a fraud!
 '''Chris:''' [''He's talking to his parents.''] The one in the brown stripes, who's taking Kacey?
 '''Barbara:''' Well, good...
 '''Chris:''' I want you to talk to him and tell him off, I'm sick of telling him off. He's still calling me that— God, Ian Brandon Anderson. [''Talking to Kacey and Liquid again''] You better still be there, because I'm going to have you talking to the real Robert Chandler in a second! [''Back to his parents''] Please, help me out here.
 '''Bob:''' What the... Well, what's going on? You there?
 '''Kacey:''' [''pause''] Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Kacey:''' Kacey.
 '''Bob:''' This is Rob...[''Static cuts him off''] She ain't saying anything, Christian.
 '''Kacey:''' Hello?
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please, just— Just lis— Just— That's my father, Robert Chandler...
 '''Kacey:''' I know, I keep talking to him. He can't hear me.
 '''Chris:''' Yes, he can hear you.
 '''Bob:''' No, I can hear her...
 '''Kacey:''' No, he keeps saying hello.
 '''Bob:''' What? What do you want?
 '''Chris:''' Right now, I just want him to— There, to talk to the— Tell that Chris off!
 '''Bob:''' Well, right now it's midnight. What in the world do you want?
 '''Chris:''' She don't want anything, talk!
 '''Bob:''' She don't wanna talk, either. She can't talk or cat's got her tongue.
 '''Chris:''' Kacey, please talk...[''He's carrying on a faint conversation with Barbara in the background.'']
 '''Kacey:''' I'm sorry, I'm really confused. Like, one minute I'm talking to someone, and the next minute I'm not.
 '''Barbara:''' Hold it right there. You don't have to listen to 'em, just hang up on the bitch!
 '''Bob:''' [''unintelligible'']...don't answer!
 '''Chris:''' I was— I was trying to get y'all to talk to that Chris over there, because he's over there with her right now!
 '''Barbara:''' I don't care where they are, their— They might be lying to you!
 '''Chris:''' He's still pretending to be me, with this address!
 '''Barbara:''' Christian, just shut up and hang up on 'em! [''unintelligible'']...if you're upset! Don't ever answer the phone when they call!
 '''Bob:''' Tell 'em go to bed(?)!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Barbara:''' That's your fault!
 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, hiding behind daddy's skirt. That's what I thought.
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, I like how I'm a bitch.
 '''Chris:''' Oh, Chris, shut the hell up. Kacey, I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later.
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, you're just— Yeah, I knew you would this entire time.
 '''Chris:''' Just...SHUT UP!!! Talk to you later, Kacey, I love you. I do love you...
 '''Liquid:''' No, shut up! Kacey, are you with me— Are you with me or are you with him?
 '''Kacey:''' You! At least you're not calling me a bitch. Because I find that extremely disrespectful.
 '''Chris:''' No, that was my mom. That was my mom who said that!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, of course.
 '''Kacey:''' Well, good. My family hates you, your family hates me.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you with me, baby? Are you with me— Are we gonna get married?
 '''Chris:''' Oh, shut up, Chris...
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah. Let's go get married. Because I can't deal with this.
 '''Chris:''' I can't deal with him still pretending to be me!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, well, you are always the...
 '''Kacey:''' He's not pretending to be you, he's better than you. Why would he pretend to be you?
 '''Chris:''' He's prete— He's pretend— He's been a liar the whole time, you know it...
 '''Liquid:''' You— You are just a less-worthy version of me!
 '''Chris:''' I sh— I sh— I showed you the certificate and the diploma!
 '''Liquid:''' Yeah, they're fake.
 '''Chris:''' And the degree, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Whatever, I can't deal with this. You're calling everyone a liar when you're the biggest liar I know.
 '''Chris:''' I am not the liar!
 '''Kacey:''' And then you bring your parents on here. Your parents are going to insult me like that, what do you want me to do? What do you think I'm gonna do? That's crazy, that's insane.
 '''Chris:''' I just don't— I just don't understand the situation! I was trying to get them to talk to that Chris! Trying to get them to talk...
 '''Liquid:''' Kacey, are you officially broken up with him? Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Kacey:''' I mean, you lied about McDonald's, jogging, video games, television. I mean, all that seems a lot more important than me, so I get it— Don't worry, I get it.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially breaking up with him?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, Kacey. You are important!
 '''Kacey:''' No, I get it. Apparently, I'm not!
 '''Chris:''' I was trying to pro— I was trying to protect you from that goddamn liar!
 '''Liquid:''' Make it official, Kacey!
 '''Kacey:''' Yeah, but your mom called me a bitch. You didn't even defend me! You were just like "talk to her, talk to her!" What was I supposed to say? That was embarrassing! That's how you want your parents to... That's the first time your parents met me! That's what you wanted? Good job.
 '''Liquid:''' Are you officially broken up...?
 '''Chris:''' No, no, no, no, no, no, no. [''sigh''] I was trying to get them to talk to the Chris! [''sigh''] Look, Christian Weston...
 '''Kacey:''' No, you told them to talk to me! Why do you use your parents to defend you? My parents don't defend me.
 '''Liquid:''' You gotta— You gotta tell me. Are you officially broken up with him?
 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Okay, now listen. Kacey, I'm sorry about it, I'm sorry about that misunderstanding, I'll talk to you later. And as for ''you'', Christian Weston Chandler over there, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU PROVEN AS THE LIAR!!! Good night. [''Hangs up'']
 '''Kacey:''' Oh, fuck you.
 '''Liquid:''' Baby...
 '''Kacey:''' That's great, when I say "No, fuck you!" I can't believe... Oh my god, Barbara called me a bitch. Oh, oh my god! [''laughs''] We know how much you love it when people call me a bitch.
 '''Liquid:''' Uh, yeah, I know, right? [''unintelligible''] That was great.
 '''Kacey:''' OH...MY...GOD... That was the best call...ever. I can't believe we got Barbara and Bob.
 '''Liquid:''' I can't believe we got half the stuff we got...
 '''Kacey:''' Gecko, it was definitely a different voice that called me a bitch. That was definitely Barbara that said "Just hang up on the bitch!"
 '''Liquid:''' Yup... Yup... Yup...
 '''Kacey:''' Okay, so back to [[Mumble]]! [''giggles'']
 '''Liquid:''' Alright.
 [''tape runs out'']

{{succession|label=[[Kacey_calls|Kacey Phone Calls]]|prevlink=[[Father Call]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan gets chewed out by Kacey]]}}

{{FanChats}}

==External links==
* Download [http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?eojywemfkom the Call]
* Listen to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAuNEyPsuX0&feature=channel the call on YouTube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]
[[Category: Liquid Saga]]

Cakefarts

2012-02-27T02:05:13Z

Lime: Added category.

{{Honest}}

'''Cakefarts''' (leaked as ''fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris sits his naked ass on a [[Chris and money|$9]] [[Obesity|chocolate cake]] for [[Jackie]]'s amusement. The full uncensored version can be found [http://imageshack.us/clip/my-videos/36/rsv.mp4/ here]. It is inspired by the Cakefarts shock site.<ref>[www.cakefarts.com/ www.cakefarts.com]</ref>

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cakefarts
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1heDIzvEPl0}}
| stardate =
| subject =
| style = {{Crazy}}
| saga = {{Jackie}} {{Tomgirl}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous =
| next =
}}

{{quote|What the hell am I doing?}}

=== Transcript ===

Heeey Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.

''[Chris proceeds to finger the cake, followed by licking his digit]''

Mmm. Let's get this done.

''Chris has the words [[Random-access humor|"AWESOME SAUCE"]] written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the E's is the wrong way around, and there is [[Fail|scribbled out attempt]] at writing the word awesome.''

''[Unintelligible]''... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. A dance! Is dance! Doin' a dance. Doo wop doo. [[Random-access humor|Drink a monkey monkey]] and ''[unintelligible]''

''[Chris flails about like a retard in order to make his deformed [[duck|dick]] jiggle]''

Let's do this.

''[Performs the act for which the video is named, in turn getting an erection]''

What the hell am I doing here? ''[Finishes smearing ass with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate cake]]]'' What the hell am I doing? I paid nine American dollar for this cake. That's a lotta yen. Kawaii! Bye, Japan.

==References==
<references/>

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature]]

User:Lime

2012-01-04T02:44:53Z

Lime: Some minor editing.

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{Agnostic}}{{Americunt}}{{Asexual}}{{BoyfriendFreeGirl}}{{Desi}}{{GrammarNazi}}{{Hex-Box}}{{Hikikomori}}{{Krapplefag}}{{Observer}}{{Pedofork}}{{PS3}}{{Troper}}{{VivianGee}}{{Weeaboo}}{{White}}{{Wii}}}}
</div>
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|left|thumb|Lime (right), on the look out for vandals.]]
{{protip|Is a vandal on the loose? [[User_talk:Lime|Tell me!]]}}
I'm '''Lime''', a wannabe [[troll]] from [[Julie|Ohio]] who has way too much free time. As a Jerkop, my duty is to patrol the [[Special:RecentChanges|recent changes]] and protect the CWCki against vandals <strike>not that I've done much of that</strike>. I contribute to the CWCki by being a grammar nazi for the most part, though I'll create or expand upon an article if I can. I also like making userboxes.

==Major Contributions==
All contributions can be found [[Special:Contributions/Lime|here]].

===Created Pages===
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Audiobooks]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Sprung]]

====Categories====
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by gender]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by nationality]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by race]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by religion]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by sexuality]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians on other websites]]

===Awards Made===
* [[Template:Asexual|Asexual]]
* [[Template:Black|Black]]
* [[Template:BlueSpike‎|BlueSpike]]
* [[Template:BoyfriendFreeGirl|Boyfriend Free Girl]]
* [[Template:ClydeCash‎|ClydeCash]]
* [[Template:Evan‎|Evan]]
* [[Template:Ham|Ham]]
* [[Template:Hiatus|Hiatus]]
* [[Template:JackThaddeus‎|JackThaddeus]]
* [[Template:JERK|JERK]]
* [[Template:LiquidChris‎|LiquidChris‎]]
* [[Template:MPS|MPS]]
* [[Template:Naive|Naive]]
* [[Template:NativeAmerican|Native American]]
* [[Template:Sweetheart|Sweetheart]]
* [[Template:Troper|Troper]]
* [[Template:VivianGee‎|VivianGee]]
* [[Template:Weeaboo|Weeaboo]]
* [[Template:White|White]]

===Uploaded Images===
{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:AVDierten icon.jpg|[[Arjen Van Dierten|AVDierten's]] icon on YouTube.
Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|Screenshot of the front page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on April 1st, 2009.
Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|The Chris-chan article on the same date. The page and its talk page were replaced with this message.
Image:Cold_Feet_by_napoleonxvi.jpg|TRUE and HONEST fanart?
Image:PicklingCucumbers.jpg|Gherkins used to welcome Chris on his [[Chris and Wikipedia|talk page]].
Image:Advicechris0.jpg|Uploaded a different version of the old one. The original had a black bar at the bottom.
Image:Suggestion Sonichu ver. 2.jpg
Image:Yawning Squirtle advice template.jpg
Image:Advice Chris shirt.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-DO-A-LOT-FOR-SOCIETY-STAY-INSIDE-WITH-PS3.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-VERY-HONEST-CONTENT-I-CYBERED-VANESSA-HUDGENS.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-I-can-feel-THE-COSMOS9.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-ejaculate-in-a-cup-mix-it-with-fanta-and-drink.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-bunny-hop-post-on-youtube.jpg
Image:BlueSpike eBay.png|Oh hey, I made something.
Image:SchuComicTBCont.jpg
Image:Pimpin Squirtle.jpg|This reminded me of [[Yawning Squirtle]]...
Image:Pinch 1.PNG
Image:Pinch 2.PNG
Image:Pinch 3.PNG
Image:Pinch 4.PNG
Image:Pinch 5 and 6.PNG
Image:Clyde Cash obituary.png
Image:Pinch 7.PNG
Image:Pinch 8 9 and 10.PNG
Image:Pinch 11.PNG
Image:Ryan memorial.PNG
Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg
Image:7-10 vids favorites.PNG
Image:ChristopherWantsOut.PNG
Image:ChristopherWantsOut2.PNG
Image:3DCG Crystal.PNG|[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]
Image:3DCG MLW.PNG|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
Image:3DCG Ivy.PNG|[[Ivy]]
Image:3DCG Panda.PNG|[[PandaHalo]]
Image:3DCG Kimmi.PNG|[[Kimmi]]
Image:Sandy 34.jpg|Rule 34 of [[Sandy]]
Image:Episode200Comment.PNG
Image:Episode200Comment2.PNG
Image:Lampshade logo blue.png
Image:Asexual symbol.png
</gallery>}}

==Shit Nobody Cares About==
* I was first [[nudes|exposed]] to Chris in [[2008#November|November 2008]], when someone on my LiveJournal friends list posted a link to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article. I only really became a "troll" right at the end of the [[Julie]] [[saga]] (at least, I definitely remember when the [[Julie Reveals Herself]] audio was leaked on [[Krapple|/cwc/]]), and I've been following his exploits since.
* I mostly contribute to the Sonichu "[[True and Loyal Fanbase|fandom]]" by [http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=271C89CB7FA8ABE9 making YouTube videos], some of which have been featured on this site (yaaay).
* I'm yet another poor soul who has been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Lime enslaved] by [[Fan:TV Tropes|TV Tropes]]. <strike>I keep a close eye on the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu article]</strike> Well, I did until it was locked. I saved the true and original article and [[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|converted it into this wiki's style]].
* My "favorite" (if you could even call it that) [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character is <strike>[[Silvana]]</strike> [[Sandy]].
* My favorite Chris-chan video is [[Secret Weapon]], which I can quote word for word because it is that hilarious. ''HA HA HA,'' '''''HAAAAA HA!'''''
** [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]], [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]] and [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] are up there in my list of favorites as well. Really, just about any of his videos containing [[:Category:Videos with RAGE|delicious]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] will make me laugh my ass off.
* My favorite [[saga]]s were [[Ivy]]'s and [[Liquid Chris]]'s.
* Like Chris, I also supposedly have some [[Cherokee]] ancestry (though I don't go around [[War Paint Video|insulting my heritage]]).
* My house has more [[cats]] than the Chandler family, though we actually give a shit about ours.
* Despite being a [[Chris|lazy dumbshit]], I somehow graduated [[high school]] with [[honor roll|high honors]]. ''[[Audiobooks|Honor roll my ass!]]''
* My mom knows about Chris: I was laughing like a lunatic at [[12_January_2010#Part 1|a video]], and when she asked what I was laughing at I told her that it was a guy punching his camera. She asked if it was Christian (at least, I think that's what she did, it's been a few months), and ''bricks were shat''. She thought he lived in his parents' basement though, so she mustn't know too much about him.
* I like [[Chris and fashion|horizontal striped shirts]].

==Sonichu (And Related) Characters I've Made in Games==
===3D Custom Girl===
After [[Lie|obtaining this game legally]] I decided to mess around with it and create a few ''Sonichu'' characters. You can download them [http://www.mediafire.com/?wnzmhmtfzmz here], you perverted weeaboo (... [[hypocrisy|wait]]).

{{collapsible
|''Sonichu'' characters in 3D Custom Girl
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:3DCG Crystal.PNG|[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]
Image:3DCG MLW.PNG|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
Image:3DCG Ivy.PNG|[[Ivy]]
Image:3DCG Panda.PNG|[[PandaHalo]]
Image:3DCG Kimmi.PNG|[[Kimmi]]
</gallery>}}

===The Sims 3===
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Dies in a Fire (in The Sims 3)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R6ZCowst82Y}}
| Stardate = 25 August 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/MewLime Me]
| Subject = Chris in ''The Sims 3''
| Video Type = Machinima
}}

For Julie's Eyes Only

2012-01-04T02:34:14Z

Lime: /* See also */

{{honest}}
<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|right|JULAY!]]</div>

 
[[Image:Blowupdoll.gif|center]]

{{protip|"JULLLAAAY" is an ancient meme. Only faggots comment on Chris related videos with any variant of "JULLAAAAAAAY". Even bigger faggots are people who think it's funny to PM and/or e-mail Chris with "JULLLAAAAAAAAAY." The biggest faggots are those who think it's funny to call Chris's house and scream "JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY".}}

On 20 [[February 2009]], the closest thing [[Christian Weston Chandler]] will ever have to a sex tape was leaked to the Internet. The video file '''For Julies Eyes Only.MP4''' consists of nearly eight minutes of Chris, completely nude except for his socks, making love to [[Kimmi|an inflatable sex doll]]. The sex tape was soon uploaded to SlutLoad where it has received over two million views.

==Summary==
{{quote|JULAAAAAAY!!!! JULAAAAAAY!!!! |Chris while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|You take that like a good, bad girl!|Also while humping Kimmi.}}
{{quote|I'm ready to cum!!|Again, while humping Kimmi.}}

'''0:00-0:05''' [''Chris sits cross-legged on his bed, holding Kimmi up as though it were a naked girl standing before him, says "Hey, Julie," and glances at her.'']

'''0:06-0:10''' [''He lies back as he pulls the doll into position over his [[duck]].''] "I love you, Julie..."

'''0:11-0:28''' [''He grips the doll, possibly trying to finger its asshole. He seems confused as to how to effectively copulate with this device.'']

'''0:29-0:44''' [''Our hero abandons all pretense and bends the doll at an unnatural angle (with its upper body pointed straight up and its legs pointed straight out behind it), grapevining its legs with his own and pounding it diligently. Its asshole is spread wide in full view of the camera.'']

'''0:45-0:48''' In a satisfied tone, he sighs "Mmm... Julie..." A moment later, sounding surprised by her passion, he exclaims "''Julieee!''"

'''0:49-1:25''' [''Quiet, uneventful thrusting. Chris seems to have a determined look on his face, as though he is focused on servicing his vinyl lover.'']

'''1:26-1:32''' [''A loud snap can be heard, which seems to catch Chris's attention. He lifts the doll up and examines his crotch, then reaches over to pause the recording. In an email, he tells Julie that his condom had broke so he had to put on another one.']

'''1:33-1:52''' [''Chris resumes filming and humping.'']

'''1:53-2:06''' [''He shifts to a sort of scissor position, with Kimmi "straddling" his right thigh. Chris keeps one hand planted on its "breast".'']

'''2:07-2:08''' "Mmm... Julie! Julieeee!"

'''2:09-2:28''' [''More scissoring.'']

'''2:28-2:31''' "Yesss, Julie... Julie! Mmmm..."

'''2:32-2:49''' [''Chris briefly tries to stick several fingers into Kimmi's ass before rolling over onto his side. His ass is now in full view as it thrusts and quivers against the love doll.'']

'''2:50-2:51''' "You like that, don't you, Julie?"

'''2:52-3:13''' [''More ass-thrusting.'']

'''3:14-3:20''' "Come on, Julie... [unintelligible] take that cock... Mmm, Julie!"

'''3:21-3:39''' [''Chris picks up speed...'']

'''3:40-3:43''' [''Chris puts his right leg over the doll and continues thrusting.'']

'''3:44-3:47''' "Oh, Julie... Julie!"

'''3:47-4:05''' [''More thrusting.'']

'''4:06-4:08''' [''Two loud snaps can be heard as Chris takes his leg off the doll.'']

'''4:25-4:30''' [''Chris now sits on the bed and open his legs, putting the blow-up doll over his body. The scene cuts.'']

'''4:31-4:40''' [''Filming resumes. Chris is seated cross-legged in the bed, much like the first scene. He proceeds to hump the doll.'']

'''4:41-4:50''' [''Chris opens his legs and humps some more.''] "Julie... Yes, Julie... You take that like a good—BAD girl!"

'''5:00-5:21''' [''Chris now is humping the doll quickly. His face is extremely red.'']

'''5:22-5:23''' "Hnmm..."

'''5:24-5:25''' [''Chris cuts the film and resumes the same scene, still humping the doll while seated.'']

'''5:33-5:44''' [''Chris now starts to hump the doll on his knees.'']

'''5:45-5:53''' [''Chris now straddles the doll face-down, thrusting like a rabbit.'']

'''5:54-6:04''' [''Chris holds the doll's boobies and starts to "ride" Kimmi.'']

'''6:05-6:09''' "Oh, Julie... JULIE!! JULIE!!!"

'''6:23-6:40''' "Ju— Yeah... Julie! Julie! Hnmph...hnm... Hnmph...uhh...uhh...uh..."

'''6:47-7:09''' "Hnm, ah, yeah, JULIE! I'm— ah, I'm ready to CUUUM!!! JULIE! JULAY! JULAY! JULIEEE! Julie... HNMPH!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:10-7:24''' "AAAAUUUUGHHHHAAAHNNN!!!" [''More moaning.'']

'''7:25-7:40''' [''Chris suffocates the doll with his weight by lying over her. He thrusts a couple of times and turns off the camera.''] "Julie, thank you."

==Postcards==
[[Image:Postcard_from_Ebaums.jpg|thumb|Greetings to the Chandler family!]]
Postcards were sent direct to [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] by an anonymous troll in early March. His family's reaction is unknown, except that his [[PSEye]] was briefly taken away.

==See also==
* [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]
* [[Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David]]

==External links==
* [http://megaupload.com/?d=18NA6ERG Download it here!]
* [http://www.slutload.com/watch/w40vYGuWP3X/Chris-Chan-Sextape.html Watch it here!]
* [http://www.efukt.com/2412_Who_The_Fuck_Is_Julie?.html Or watch it here!]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 18 February 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 4 March 2009]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, February 2009| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category: Julie saga videos| 2009-02-20]]
[[Category:Certain videos of the naughty nature| 2009-02-20]]

ECV 00193

2011-10-29T11:47:12Z

Lime: Making redirect.

#REDIRECT [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]

ECV 00119

2011-10-29T11:43:55Z

Lime: Making redirect.

#REDIRECT [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out oxycleanfanatic2264]]

ECV 00118

2011-10-29T11:42:57Z

Lime: Making redirect.

#REDIRECT [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out sonichuizcool]]

ECV 00117

2011-10-29T11:41:57Z

Lime: Oh, derp.

#REDIRECT [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers#CWC Calls Out ShmionSonozaki]]

ECV 00117

2011-10-29T11:40:32Z

Lime: Making redirect.

#REDIRECT [[The_July_10th_Messages#CWC_Calls_Out_ShmionSonozaki]]

User talk:KingClark

2011-01-10T00:31:49Z

Lime:

Trust me, new people drop by all the time, and it's usually much worse. Don't think about it too much. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 09:14, 4 January 2011 (PST)

==Re:TVTropes==
I'm sorry, but I want to keep the page as it is; it might have a whole lot of "this troper" and whatnot, but that's how the page was. Thank you for asking me before editing it, though! I like [[User:Freecell|Freecell]]'s idea of making a sandbox and editing the page there, that way there can be both the original and an improved version. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 16:31, 9 January 2011 (PST)

Chris in the media

2010-11-14T23:25:38Z

Lime: /* Internet Media */

[[Chris]], being an attention whore of sorts, has frequently managed to find himself in the '''media''' spotlight. Television, newspapers, magazines and, of course, the internet - if Chris can find some way to earn his [[Wikipedia:15 minutes of fame|15 minutes of fame]], he'll do it.

==Traditional Media==
===Richmond Times-Dispatch===

{{main|IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES}}

In 1993, the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' newspaper ran an article detailing how Chris changed his name from "Christopher" to the more well-known "Christian". This is Chris's first known appearance in the media.

===Sonic The Hedgehog Watch And Win Sweepstakes===

{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes}}

Chris's second appearance in the media was a news report in 1994 chronicling Chris's first victory, winning a contest celebrating one of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] cartoons.

===Chris Chan in the PokéNews===

{{main|Chris Chan in the PokéNews}}

In 1999, Chris made his third appearance in a news report on the growing success of the Pokémon Trading Card Game. He was 17 at the time, and he was playing Pokémon cards with [[Pedofork|kids as young as 8]].

===Nintendo Power Magazine===

{{main|Nintendo Power Magazine}}

Twice, Chris has used the magazine ''Nintendo Power'' to get himself attention. First was a letter Chris wrote telling Nintendo how [[lie|he used a video game to cure his fear of talking to girls]]. The second time detailed Chris's Animal Crossing video, though there he was known as [[Sonichu]], not Chris.

=== WBCN Toucher and Rich ===

{{main|Toucher and Rich Segment}}

On 12 [[May 2009]] Chris's antics became so famous that it sparked the interest of a radio ([http://www.wbcn.com/topic/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3705145 podcast]) in Boston. The whole media furor was sparked by the [[I Got A Fish]] video. However, most of the show covered Chris's videos addressed to [[Ivy]].

=== KROQ The Kevin and Bean Show===

{{main|The Kevin and Bean Show Segment}}

One of Chris's [[Captain's Log]]s is dissected by the hosts Kevin and Bean. Notably, the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video in question]] required ''a full two minutes'' dedicated to disclaimers, as well as censoring of [[Semen#Recycling|certain]] [[Honest content|unairable]] [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|acts]] .

==Internet Media==

===Fark.com===
The world-renown Internet portal [http://www.fark.com/cgi/vidplayer.pl?IDLink=4369161|Fark linked] to [[ECV 00095]] on 5 [[May 2009]].

{{quote|You don't need to search any longer, the [[The Creepy Stare|creepiest]] person on the internet has been found|A Farker}}

===Heavy.com===
Chris tops the site's list of the 20 Worst Internet Losers, posted 13 [[July 2010]].

{{quote|There could be no other choice to close out this list. [[Christian Weston Chandler]], aka Chris-Chan, is like every horrible thing about the Internet made flesh. [[14 Branchland Court|Lives]] with his [[Bob Chandler|par]][[Barbara Chandler|ents]], sponges off the [[monthly tugboat|government]] and uses the cash for [[PS3|PlayStation 3]] games and [[sex toys]], walks around the [[Fashion Square Mall|mall]] with his Game Boy [[love quest|looking for girlfriends]], posts incoherent YouTube videos of himself [[For Julie's Eyes Only|humping an anime bodypillow]] and yelling “Oh, [[Julie]],” the list will go on forever. C.W.C. is the ''ne plus ultra'' of Web losers.|Heavy.com, [http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/07/the-20-worst-internet-losers/4/ 20 Worst Internet Losers]}}

===Nicolas Cage Wants Cake===
An animated version of Chris appears briefly in the animated cartoon short "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PJddmfesaA Nicolas Cage Wants Cake]", which is a mash up of a scene from the film [[Family Guy|The Family Man]]. This may be the only Youtube video he is featured in that wasn't uploaded by Chris or a troll.

===Atop the Fourth Wall===
Comic reviewer Linkara goes on a brief tirade in his video [http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2010/09/top-15-comics-ill-never-review.html Top 15 Things I Will Never Review] about [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] on the subject of webcomics at the 24 minute mark.

{{quote|"But wait," the internet cried back, "let me tell you about the horror that is... Sonichu!" Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't.|Linkara}}

At the end of the video, he uses Weird Al's "Do I Creep You Out" as the credits music, a possible jab at Chris.

===RayWilliamJohnson===
In one episode of =3, I will end you, Ray made fun of Chris's habbit of drinking his cum. Though he never gave Chris's name, (refereeing to him as 'your average star-trek nerd) he did provide a link to Chris's old channel. This is one of the few videos about Chris not made by a troll.

===Webcam Ward===
The [http://www.somethingawful.com/d/webcam-ward/sonic-the-hog.php last episode] of Something Awful's “Webcam Ward” is a commentary on [[ECV 00002]].

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

November 2010

2010-11-11T18:03:09Z

Lime: Copy-pasting from da update.

'''November 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] saga ongoing, although the video [[ToJackie]] suggests that it may be coming to an end. Rumors suggest that Chris's [[high school]] reunion may take place.

==Events of November 2010==
* 6 November - Chris attempts to do [[100 2278|pull-ups]]. New information about Jackie in the form of [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|e-mails]] are revealed. Lars also had a [[Lars Call|call]] with Chris.
* 8 November - Chris's high school reunion took place, it is currently unknown if he attended.
* 11 November - Chris is [[:File:Kroger sighting.jpg|spotted]] at a local supermarket.
{{Timeline}}

User:Lime

2010-11-10T05:54:39Z

Lime: /* Shit Nobody Cares About */

<div style="clear:right; float:right; width:358px;">
{{collapsible|Userboxes|{{Agnostic}}{{Americunt}}{{Asexual}}{{BoyfriendFreeGirl}}{{Desi}}{{GrammarNazi}}{{Hex-Box}}{{Hikikomori}}{{Jerkop}}{{Krapplefag}}{{Observer}}{{Pedofork}}{{PS3}}{{Troper}}{{VivianGee}}{{Weeaboo}}{{White}}{{Wii}}}}
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[[Image:Janekops.jpg|left|thumb|Lime (right), on the look out for vandals.]]
{{protip|Is a vandal on the loose? [[User_talk:Lime|Tell me!]]}}
I'm '''Lime''', an 18 year-old wannabe [[troll]] from [[Julie|Ohio]] who has way too much free time. I'm a Jerkop, so my duty is to patrol the [[Special:RecentChanges|recent changes]] and protect the CWCki against vandals <strike>not that I've done much of that</strike>. I contribute to the CWCki by being a grammar nazi for the most part, though I'll create or expand upon an article if I can. I also like making userboxes.

==Major Contributions==
All contributions can be found [[Special:Contributions/Lime|here]].

===Created Pages===
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Audiobooks]]
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Sprung]]

====Categories====
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by gender]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by nationality]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by race]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by religion]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians by sexuality]]
* [[:Category:CWCkipedians on other websites]]

===Awards Made===
* [[Template:Asexual|Asexual]]
* [[Template:Black|Black]]
* [[Template:BlueSpike‎|BlueSpike]]
* [[Template:BoyfriendFreeGirl|Boyfriend Free Girl]]
* [[Template:ClydeCash‎|ClydeCash]]
* [[Template:Evan‎|Evan]]
* [[Template:Ham|Ham]]
* [[Template:Hiatus|Hiatus]]
* [[Template:JackThaddeus‎|JackThaddeus]]
* [[Template:JERK|JERK]]
* [[Template:LiquidChris‎|LiquidChris‎]]
* [[Template:MPS|MPS]]
* [[Template:Naive|Naive]]
* [[Template:NativeAmerican|Native American]]
* [[Template:Sweetheart|Sweetheart]]
* [[Template:Troper|Troper]]
* [[Template:VivianGee‎|VivianGee]]
* [[Template:Weeaboo|Weeaboo]]
* [[Template:White|White]]

===Uploaded Images===
{{collapsible
|Gallery
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:AVDierten icon.jpg|[[Arjen Van Dierten|AVDierten's]] icon on YouTube.
Image:ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|Screenshot of the front page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] on April 1st, 2009.
Image:Chris-chan ED April Fools' 2009.PNG|The Chris-chan article on the same date. The page and its talk page were replaced with this message.
Image:Cold_Feet_by_napoleonxvi.jpg|TRUE and HONEST fanart?
Image:PicklingCucumbers.jpg|Gherkins used to welcome Chris on his [[Chris and Wikipedia|talk page]].
Image:Advicechris0.jpg|Uploaded a different version of the old one. The original had a black bar at the bottom.
Image:Suggestion Sonichu ver. 2.jpg
Image:Yawning Squirtle advice template.jpg
Image:Advice Chris shirt.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-DO-A-LOT-FOR-SOCIETY-STAY-INSIDE-WITH-PS3.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-VERY-HONEST-CONTENT-I-CYBERED-VANESSA-HUDGENS.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-I-can-feel-THE-COSMOS9.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-ejaculate-in-a-cup-mix-it-with-fanta-and-drink.jpg
Image:Advice-CWC-bunny-hop-post-on-youtube.jpg
Image:BlueSpike eBay.png|Oh hey, I made something.
Image:SchuComicTBCont.jpg
Image:Pimpin Squirtle.jpg|This reminded me of [[Yawning Squirtle]]...
Image:Pinch 1.PNG
Image:Pinch 2.PNG
Image:Pinch 3.PNG
Image:Pinch 4.PNG
Image:Pinch 5 and 6.PNG
Image:Clyde Cash obituary.png
Image:Pinch 7.PNG
Image:Pinch 8 9 and 10.PNG
Image:Pinch 11.PNG
Image:Ryan memorial.PNG
Image:SchuComic3Page23.jpg
Image:7-10 vids favorites.PNG
Image:ChristopherWantsOut.PNG
Image:ChristopherWantsOut2.PNG
Image:3DCG Crystal.PNG|[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]
Image:3DCG MLW.PNG|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
Image:3DCG Ivy.PNG|[[Ivy]]
Image:3DCG Panda.PNG|[[PandaHalo]]
Image:3DCG Kimmi.PNG|[[Kimmi]]
Image:Sandy 34.jpg|Rule 34 of [[Sandy]]
Image:Episode200Comment.PNG
Image:Episode200Comment2.PNG
Image:Lampshade logo blue.png
Image:Asexual symbol.png
</gallery>}}

==Shit Nobody Cares About==
* I was first [[nudes|exposed]] to Chris in [[2008#November|November 2008]], when someone on my LiveJournal friends list posted a link to his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] article. I only really became a "troll" right at the end of the [[Julie]] [[saga]] (at least, I definitely remember when the [[Julie Reveals Herself]] audio was leaked on [[Krapple|/cwc/]]), and I've been following his exploits since.
* I mostly contribute to the Sonichu "[[True and Loyal Fanbase|fandom]]" by [http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=271C89CB7FA8ABE9 making YouTube videos], some of which have been featured on this site (yaaay).
* I'm yet another poor soul who has been [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Lime enslaved] by [[Fan:TV Tropes|TV Tropes]]. <strike>I keep a close eye on the [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Sonichu Sonichu article]</strike> Well, I did until it was locked due to moralfaggotry. I saved the true and original article and [[User:Lime/Sonichu TV Tropes Article|converted it into this wiki's style]].
* My "favorite" (if you could even call it that) [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] character is <strike>[[Silvana]]</strike> [[Sandy]].
* My favorite Chris-chan video is [[Secret Weapon]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS0F7zOjBWE which I can quote word for word] because it is that hilarious. ''HA HA HA,'' '''''HAAAAA HA!'''''
** [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]], [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]] and [[THAT IS MY HOUSE]] are up there in my list of favorites as well. Really, just about any of his videos containing [[:Category:Videos with RAGE|delicious]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] will make me laugh my ass off.
* My favorite [[saga]]s were the [[Ivy]] and [[Liquid Chris]] ones.
* I'm a [[video games|gamer]]. Currently my favorite series are [[wikipedia:Shin Megami Tensei: Persona|Persona]], [[Metal Gear Solid]], [[Darkbind Sonichu|Legend of Zelda]] and [[Pokemon]].
** My [[PlayStation 3|PSN]] is '''An Scientist''', if you want to play [[LittleBigPlanet]] with me.
** I also have a [[Hex Box]], and my gamertag is '''Eerie Lime'''. Lately I've been playing [[wikipedia:Left 4 Dead 2|Left 4 Dead 2]] obsessively, so if you happen to have it feel free to send me a message!
* I also occasionally watch [[anime]]. I weep for [[Excel Saga]]. And [[Sailor Moon]]. And [[Chris-Chan Pure|Pretty Cure]]...
* ... And [[Futurama]]. And [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]. And the early seasons of [[Family Guy]]. I like some of the junk on [[Adult Swim|[adult swim]]] as well.
* Like Chris, I also supposedly have some [[Cherokee]] ancestry (though I don't go around [[War Paint Video|insulting my heritage]]).
* My house has more [[cats]] than the Chandler family (to be precise, we have 6 at the moment, with a stray that we feed as an honorary 7th), though we actually give a shit about ours.
* Despite being a [[Chris|lazy dumbshit]], I somehow graduated [[high school]] with [[honor roll|high honors]]. ''[[Audiobooks|Honor roll my ass!]]''
* My mom knows about Chris: I was laughing like a lunatic at [[12_January_2010#Part 1|a video]], and when she asked what I was laughing at I told her that it was a guy punching his camera. She asked if it was Christian (at least, I think that's what she did, it's been a few months), and ''bricks were shat''. She thought he lived in his parents' basement though, so she mustn't know too much about him.
* I like [[Chris and fashion|horizontal striped shirts]].
* I'm such a big weeaboo that I actually know a bit of Japanese. So, uh, contact me if you want me to translate ''Sonichu'' for whatever reason.

==Sonichu (And Related) Characters I've Made in Games==
''See also: [[Fan:Chris_and_Sonichu_characters_in_games|Chris and Sonichu characters in games]]''

===3D Custom Girl===
After [[Lie|obtaining this game legally]] I decided to mess around with it and create a few ''Sonichu'' characters. You can download them [http://www.mediafire.com/?wnzmhmtfzmz here], you perverted weeaboo (... [[hypocrisy|wait]]).

{{collapsible
|''Sonichu'' characters in 3D Custom Girl
|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:3DCG Crystal.PNG|[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]]
Image:3DCG MLW.PNG|[[Mary Lee Walsh]]
Image:3DCG Ivy.PNG|[[Ivy]]
Image:3DCG Panda.PNG|[[PandaHalo]]
Image:3DCG Kimmi.PNG|[[Kimmi]]
</gallery>}}

===The Sims 3===
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan Dies in a Fire (in The Sims 3)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|R6ZCowst82Y}}
| Stardate = 25 August 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/MewLime Me]
| Subject = Chris in ''The Sims 3''
| Video Type = Machinima
}}

Characters (and clothes) on The Exchange:
* [http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=2987616 Chris] ([http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=2992450 alternate shirt])
* [http://www.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=2998256 Clyde]

Anime Mid-Atlantic

2010-11-09T15:43:39Z

Lime: /* External links */ - Adding the con

'''Anime Mid-Atlantic''' is an [[anime]] convention that [[Chris]] attended on 29 [[May 2004]] and 17 [[June 2005]]. It took place at a Holiday Inn in [[Richmond]].

==2004==
Chris recounts this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #5:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews5.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|
On May 29, 2004, I, Christian Chandler, attended my first Anime Convention. I had a good time watching some Anime, sampling some [[Wikipedia:Ramune|Ramune]] (Japan Soda), and other things. My main highlight though was meeting the lovely and sweet-spoken voice actress, [[Wikipedia:Monica Rial|Monica Rial]] (pictured next to me to the left). Monica is well known for being the voice behind many Anime characters. Some of which include: Hyatt ([[Excel Saga]]), Saki ([[Wikipedia:Steel Angel Kurumi|Steel
Angel Kurumi]]), Mikako ([[Wikipedia:Martian Successor Nadesico|Martian Sucessor Nadesico]] [''sic'']) and Shii ([[Wikipedia:Puni Puni Poemy|Puni Puni Poemy]]). She also sings opera very nicely, and she is a very nice, fun and sweet person to hang around with. She sure made my day a sweet one. ;8)
}}
[[Image:131-AnimeMid2004.jpg|thumb|;D]]
<gallery>
Image:CWCMonica.jpg|Chris develops his [[Megan Schroeder|shoulder]] fetish
Image:405-ExcelV1.jpg|<nowiki>:D</nowiki>
</gallery>
{{-}}

==2005==

Chris anticipates this event in ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' #9 and #10:<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchusNews9.htm</ref>

{{quotebox|Since he has put himself into [[Sonichu]]’s world, he will “[[Cosplay]]” as himself ([[Chris and his Ego|talk about self-respect]], huh?). Also, he will be watching some of the good anime, getting some souvenirs, participating in some of the events and just having a good time. Also, he will have some printed copies of the [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu Premiere Issue #0]] on hand, but if you want a collectable copy, you will have to find him, and ask for one. 
At the convention, as noted for now, there will be quite a selection of special guests attending, such as ADV voice actors, [[Wikipedia:Greg Ayers|Greg Ayers]] and [[Wikipedia:Doug Smith|Doug Smith]], and author [[Wikipedia:Robert V. Aldrich|Robert V. Aldrich]]. CWC hopes that Monica Rial will be there again this year (see [[News Dash]] issue #5 for his previous encounter with this lovely Voice Actress)! 8) Also up for fun are the Art Shows, contests, Guest Panels, Workshops, Video Game Room, Vendors to sell [[Anime Wings|Cool Anime items]] (some imported from Japan), and much, much more.
}}

[[Image:132-AnimeMidAtlanticBadge.jpg|<code>8D</code>|thumb]]

This year, Chris stayed for all three days of the convention, and spent two nights at a hotel alone.

<gallery>
Image:AMA1.jpg|[[Video games|GameCube]]...check
Image:AMA2.jpg|[[Health|24-pack of Pepsi]]...check
Image:0656-ANIME059.JPG|[[Pixelblocks]]...check
Image:AMA4.jpg|...I said "check"
Image:AMA3.jpg|Erotic soap dish...check
Image:0658-ANIME513.JPG|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic!Chris]] costume...check!
Image:0679-ANIME525.JPG|AWESOME!
</gallery>

===Witness account===
In [[May 2010]], the blog "Topless Robot" had a contest for "Most shameful nerd moment". One commenter named tasakeru828, who ran a [[Sonic]] panel at what was presumably Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005, described the experience:

{{quotebox|I actually met Chris-chan at an anime convention before [[ED]] found out about him and started trolling him en masse. A friend and I were hosting a [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] panel and trying to prove that not all Sonic fans are as batshit insane as they're made out to be. That noble goal was shot to hell when the one-and-only Christian Weston Chandler arrived in all his [[Chris and fashion|clown-shirted]], Sonichu-[[medallion]]-wearing glory and started handing out free copies of his first issue. He asked us a completely unintelligible question (thinking mistakenly that we actually had some influence on the series as a whole), and afterwards he babbled at us personally while we smiled and nodded trying to look interested. We obviously knew he was mentally ill, but we had no idea that we were meeting a future [[Internet]] legend. 
Now, I still persist in my goal to prove that some Sonic fans are decent, intelligent people. And despite all the flamewars, recolors, and assorted drama that the Sonic series has caused, I still love it and will defend from haters till my dying breath. I am an unabashed, true blue Sonic fan, die-hardest of the die-hard, and nothing will ever change that. But Lord, Chris-chan comes very close to ruining it all for even me, and that should tell you something.<ref>http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/05/moments_of_nerd_shame_and_the_winners_are.php</ref>}}

==Sauce==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.animemidatlantic.com/ Official website]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/105 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2004 convention information page]
*[http://www.animecons.com/events/info.shtml/638 Anime Mid-Atlantic 2005 convention information page]

{{Places}}
[[Category:Places]]

Template:Emails

2010-11-06T05:34:50Z

Lime:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#FFA500" align="center" width="95%"
|'''[[E-mails]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
'''Chris:'''
[[Chris E-mails 2004-2006|2004-2006]] |
[[Chris E-mails 2007|2007]] |
[[Chris E-mails 2008|2008]] 
'''Megan:'''
[[Megan Emails, 2005-2006|2005-2006]] |
[[Megan Emails, Aug-Dec 2007|Aug-Dec 2007]] |
[[Megan Emails, Jan-July 2007|Jan-July 2007]] |
[[Megan Emails, 2008|2008]] 
'''Vivian:'''
[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008|2007-2008]] |
[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009|2009]] |
[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010|2010]] 
'''Blanca:'''
[[Blanca Emails, August 2008|Aug 2008]] |
[[Blanca Emails, September 2008|Sept 2008]] |
[[Blanca Emails, October 2008|Oct 2008]] 
[[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole Smithey]] 
'''Clyde Saga:'''
[[Gregg Mays E-mails|Gregg Mays]] |
[[Miyamoto Saga]] |
[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] |
[[Clyde E-mails]] 
'''PS3 Hacking Saga:'''
[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails|Jack Thaddeus]] 
[[Samantha Thaddeus E-mails|Samantha Thaddeus]] |
[[Katie Bay e-mails]] ([[Katie Bay e-mails 1|1]] | [[Katie Bay E-mails 2|2]] | [[Katie Bay E-mails 3|3]] | [[Katie Bay E-mails 4|4]] | [[Katie Bay E-mails 5|5]] | [[Katie Bay E-mails 6|6]]) |
[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2]] |
[[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 3]] 
[[Regina e-mails]] 
'''Wallflower Saga:'''
[[Wallflower E-mails|1]] |
[[Wallflower E-mails 2|2]] |
[[Wallflower E-mails 3|3]] |
[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]] 
[[Autism Awareness E-mails]] 
'''Jackie Saga:'''
[[Jackie e-mails|1]] |
[[Jackie e-mails part 2|2]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 3|3]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 4|4]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 5|5]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 6|6]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 7|7]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 8|8]] |
[[Jackie E-mails 9|9]] 
[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]] 
'''See also:'''
[[White knight E-mails]] |
[[Mailbag]]
|}

<noinclude>[[Category:Templates]]</noinclude>

Jackie E-mails 9

2010-11-06T05:32:43Z

Lime: Adding category.

{{Email|August 19, 2010 - 8:33pm

Hey Chris!

Oh! I was meaning to ask you last time… what have you done with that troll forum lately? I completely forgot about it since I've been traveling and my parents have been rather clingy lately, heehee! :9 Have you gotten inside their website or gotten their passwords yet? Before I left, you posted once… I think you should be posting more on there. You know, so they don't get curious over why you're not that active. You don't want them changing tune! What's the game plan, baby boy?

Yesterday, I went there and looked around myself and found some super weird threads. Like, this one! About masturbating with "icy hot"… Here's the link: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=54 Have you ever tried that?? Is that common? Not being a guy I'd have no idea… Hmm.. Does seem pretty fun and kinky, though! Heehee. I've been so horny lately, Chris, you have no idea! I've had very little alone time and it's leaving me frustrated… I can't wait to see the colored drawing! I know it will bring the relief I so desperately need. If I can't be with you right now, at least I'll be able to keep these pictures close with me at all times… ;)

XOXO Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 19, 2010 - 9:02pm

Firstly, it is good to see the Forum back up, after a loong time of it being down. I had received a package from a fan in Germany, who also watched in a recent IRC Troll Talk; he enclosed pages of the transcript of the discussion. I let my father read it first; he found on there that they have figured out who Junior Jenkins really was, so that disguise is (to me) theoretically gone (I'll read the pages for myself a little later). :( And I'll try logging in shortly after sending you this e-mail.

Attached is the completed drawing of you and me in a pool with a man and a woman watching (all you can see of them is their feet really). I will hold the $40 for two weeks, and by my check, two Fridays from now will be September 3rd (unless you inform me otherwise), so I will rearrange my plans for the postponing. You and I will still meet at the planned Starbucks at 1:00 PM that day.

On a side-note, let me ask your opinion, would "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" be a choice movie for you and I to see together? I'm sure you've heard of it.

I'll e-mail you later with more thoughts.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|August 21, 2010 - 6:23pm

I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. You and your friend have been hanging out and having fun; I can understand that. I'd still like to hear how you're doing and what you've been up to (with details). :)

Did you like the pool party drawing I sent you? I apologize again for being late with that. Something else I have on my mind, I've drawn for you to help you keep sweet memory and self-pleasuring fun with until when we finally meet (in September now), I want something from you to help me. Photographs are good, but I'd really like to hear your voice. I would appreciate a voice recording mp3 audio file from you. You got to hear my voice from my past videos on my YouTube. It doesn't have to be much; it can be like a fun message you would leave on my voicemail (flirty and turn-me-on-able optional). And I would appreciate the file on a MegaUpload site, and a link to find it with (after I download it, you may remove it from the M.U. site).

Please help me endure the wait for our meeting better, Sweetheart.

Anyway, you have a good time with your friend and stay safe.

Stay Sweet too,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian}}

{{Email|August 21, 2010 - 7:51pm

Hey Chris! Sorry I didn't write yesterday, I meant to but then things went crazy all day and I totally lost track of time.

I really liked the drawing you made, it was sweet, but, I was wondering... now that you've drawn your own fantasy, when are you going to draw mine? The one I told you about? I'm still looking forward to seeing that... <3

I'll write a little more later,

XOXOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 22, 2010 - 12:25pm

Firstly, I'll have to backtrack the e-mails to refresh myself of your fantasy, but I will have it drawn out for you within this week, I Promise.

I understand you having lost track of time; it happens to me sometimes too. I appreciate hearing from you again and knowing that you continue to be safe. :)

Also, current topic, I am going to REALLY Push for my Manchester High School Class of 2000 Reunion today and this week. I am going to get in contact with the principal (same dude, thank God) and INSIST on getting the person who put together the Seinor Prom to put the Promised Reunion together. I know it was Promised, because at the end of the slideshow they had at the Prom, it had a HUGE Message stating, "See You at the Reunion in Ten Year." I am no longer going to take the insubordination and belaboring-to-no-promise-keeping sitting down anymore.

Also, what of the recording of your voice for me; would you make it for me, please? I have done, and going to do, a lot for you; all I ask for now is a sweet sample of your voice.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 22, 2010 - 2:01pm

Hey Chris.

You know, it's great that you want to get that reunion together for your high school class. But I am curious why you don't take more of an initiative yourself on this? You should talk to your principal and offer to put the reunion together yourself. Especially since you aren't working right now, I'm sure a lot of your old classmates don't really have the time to work on it and would greatly appreciate if you took the bull by the horns. I understand why you're annoyed that you haven't heard anything, but if you feel that strongly about it you should really be the one to take charge, don't you think sweetie? Planning those sorts of reunions is usually up to some sort of student committee, rather than the school itself. If no one is working on the reunion, then you should work on it. Especially because the committee already put together the prom, I bet they'd love it if someone else from their class took up the weight on their shoulders and put together the reunion. I think you've mentioned your desire for a reunion before, but obviously if no one else is working on it then you're going to shoulder the burden. Remember the old saying Chris, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. But then again, it's not a job you can do alone. You can be the leader, but you'll need others to help do all the menial work. But it's up to you to round them up, sweetie.

This is getting me kind of jazzed! What do you think of the idea? I think you have what it takes to take charge and be the leader here. Maybe you could ask your principal for a contact list of students or something, although after ten years I'm sure most people have moved or changed numbers, but he might have some email or something. Actually, I know you've said before you've tried to get in touch with old classmates but had trouble tracking them down, right? That might not work...

Ooh, you know what you could do to get your old classmates' attention? Make a youtube video! I know stupid trolls will make a bunch of fuss over it, but the fact is that your youtube is where everyone knows to look for you. What better way is there to contact people you can't find? Do it, Chris. Make a video demanding that they put in the effort to see this reunion through. Who of your classmates do you think would be best suited? Get them to come under your wing and work on this.

You know, this is making me curious. I don't think you've told me a whole lot about your high school experience. What was your prom like? What was your graduation ceremony like? I remember the commencement speech my class's valedictorian gave at our graduation, it was so funny, but also heartwarming. Did you ride the school bus? What was that like? What kind of classes did you take?

Anyway, about your recording request, Chris, that's kind of creepy, honestly. I don't mean to be harsh but I just want to be truthful. I'd much rather talk to you in person or on the phone, I'm not sure why you prefer a recording.

Hey, what's going on with that trolling forum? Have you started posting there? I know you said something about some troll claimed jenkinsjinkies was you, but he was probably just dicking around because of how popular "jinkies" was getting on their site. What was the email address you used to log in there? You should check it, I'm sure if they wanted to question you on it they would write you. I didn't see any threads talking about you or saying your cover was blown last time I was on the forum, seems like if they didn't believe your disguise they would have talked about it on the forum, considering how big of a deal jinkies was to them. Just check in to the forum and your email.

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 22, 2010 - 7:00pm

Chris, don't have a lot of time to talk, driving around Toronto tonight. But I had the idea of sneaking into one of their IRC chatrooms to find out more info about what they're doing, because I didn't believe this playstation 3 thing, but I found out some stuff. I was only in the chatroom for a few minutes pretending to be a troll (my name is "nyycklaj") but I talked to that canine guy, this is the chatlog (the password for the log is "troll"):

http://pastebin.ca/VxvlnDjb

I had to leave because I'm so busy so I don't know if anything else was said but I think I saw quite enough. I know you said you don't want to talk about this, I can't bear to see how they treat you either but you do need to do something. Chris, they've got some foolproof plan. They may be assholes but unfortunately, they plan ahead. I think you'd better deal with this NOW. Get in that inner circle and shut them down.

I feel really bad about them doing this to you, Chris. I want you to just blow up their website and end this once and for all. Because frankly, if we're going to try to start a potential relationship I want your life to be free of this baggage when we do, or else we won't have a chance. I want this to all be behind you when I see you.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 22, 2010 - 9:30pm

Well, the reason I don't or haven't done it myself is because I do not feel confident in putting together such a huge event, and I have NO prior experience or knowledge of setting up a Reunion. Plus, like I said, it was Previously Implied as a Promise in that slideshow. I've been looking forward to it for ten years since; I've been expecting the people who made that promise to put it together themselves. I guess I was expecting too much; the only knowledge I had of how great my Class was, was through my small circle of friends. To list the top of the bunch from my memory...

-Kellie Andes
-Tiffany Gowen
-Sarah Bevel
-Brian Smart
-Miranda Mitchell
-Molly Quarles
-Damien Coy

I intend to talk with the Principal to see about the thing, and I am NOT going to make a video for YouTube and risk LURING the damn trolls to set something FAKE and LURE ME into their Trap(s). I am smart and aware of those S.O.B.s and their treachery and ploys.

I feel a bit too keyed up to recall my H.S. stories, but I promise to tell you in another e-mail or on the day we meet. But I will inform you of the nutshells:

-Graduation was bad.
-Prom was fun, thanks to Tiffany Gown (I owe her a dance in return for
her generous favor).
-I could have done a LOT more in High School.
-I was literally Naive in the whole Dating thing.
-I could have really used a Dating Education Class alongside the Sex-Ed.
-Kellie Andes was my High School Sweetheart, but since I left, she got
married and now has three children. I REALLY should have Dated that
girl. DAMN, why was I NOT taught to Date?

And I dream of going BACK to Manchester High as a Returning Honorary Student (or just relive my Junior and/or Seinor Year). Often I wish my family and I had NEVER left Chesterfield County and moved back to Crappy Greene County and return to my Autism Birthplace. I even wish I could afford to move back there myself and start a new life, but I can't. Even with my blessings and items paid for from my own hands, the house they're all in, its comfort, and my parents all remains my anchor keeping me in this one-cow-town with a Wal-Mart and a city which is considered anti-social and hoity-toity and mid to low comfortable to me being nearest.

*sigh*

Soo many issues.

*shakes head*

I have asked you to call me, but you're on your Pay-As-You-Go Plan, and I felt if you couldn't afford to call me a recording I could play over and over again until I finally met you would be just as good. But if you feel it weird, then I guess I was in error.

Also, I made a new post on the Forum, with the aid of my father, and my own personal touch to make it more believable. http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=80

I wait until I can think, or am instructed, of something else to do against the trolls. But mostly of bigger importance to me is getting together with you, Jacklyn, the High School Reunion, and protecting myself from those damn trolls. I wish I knew where Clyde Cash lived, so I could plan on going over there myself and beating the shit out of him with the frustrations that have further been built within me since I found that damn Encyclopedia Dramatica page.

*sigh*

I got to take some more breaths and play a game or something to distract myself. But I REALLY wish I can talk with you, Jackie, over the phone, or at least be able to hear you. I guess a fair comparison is an animated cartoon character with a voice actor is about equal to a real person photograph with a memorized spoken phrase. IDK, but I hope I'm making a point with it, because my mind is befuddled right now.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christain.}}

{{Email|August 22, 2010 - 10:14pm

Hey Chris.

Well, about setting up the reunion, you know, I doubt any of your other classmates have any experience in setting up such a big event, either. How else do you think someone learns how to do it? By trying. Furthermore, the slideshow you mention, well, it sounds like it was just being hopeful that a reunion would take place. I don't think it was a promise to organize the reunion themselves. Think about it, how likely is it that some teenagers in high school would reasonably know that they would be available and able to organize the reunion ten years into the future? Most high schools have ten year reunions, so they were probably just assuming there would be one, it doesn't really make sense to put the burden on them. I mean, we all proclaim things we don't really take seriously sometimes. Like you and Sonichu, right? You've been telling people for months that you're working on that, but you only really say that to keep them quiet, right? It's kind of like that.

What about your graduation was so bad? Mine was really fun. You seem to look back on high school with a lot of regret and resentment, to be honest. It's not healthy to carry all that negativity around. What were those friends of yours like? I remember my group of friends in high school, we were inseparable. We had this one guy named Harry who was kind of weird, he just followed us around awkwardly and didn't really say anything, we let him hang around because we wanted to be nice and he didn't seem like anyone else liked him. But other than that we had nothing but great times. Why would you want to go back to high school now though? I mean, I loved my high school experience, but I couldn't stand being back there as I am now because I've changed and grown so much - I'm a completely different person now, I wouldn't be able to tolerate high school now.

As for moving back there, well, Chris, you're a grown adult. You can do it if you actually really want to. I mean, it'll take time to recover from your recent financial problems, but if you discipline yourself and prioritize your spending and your life from now on you will be able to move out on your own before long. I don't really get why you say your parents and your comfortable life are "anchors" keeping you from moving - you seem to have nothing but complaints about your current life situation, so I don't get how it can be "comfortable" at the same time. It's pretty simple Chris, either you want out of it or you don't. (And not to beat a dead horse, but we've talked about your dependency on social security means that nothing you have is really paid by your "own hands". Your "own hands" implies you earn what you get.)

*Sigh* ...I'm kind of saddened by your negativity Chris. I suggest things that you can do to help yourself; but you just shoot them down without trying, and then you still complain about having no solution. You say you're "waiting to be instructed" on what to do about the trolls? Well, I've told you things you can do, but you don't try them. I've told you what you can do about the reunion but you don't try that either. I've told you how you can try to get in touch with your old friends but you just assume it's not worth trying because of troll interference. You know, if you're afraid of false info and traps, I can certainly help you filter out the fake stuff from the real. Just show me whatever responses you get and I'll guide you in how to deal with them, that way you have another perspective so you don't have to worry about traps on your own. Sound good? Because one thing I'm NOT going to do, Chris, is look up your friends and contact them for you. You really need to learn to do things for yourself when you want something done. You're 28 years old, you can't expect everyone to hold your hand all the time. A girlfriend certainly won't, in case that's what you expected.

But anyway... I'll think about calling you. But I don't really want to talk to someone who has this "pity me" attitude even when I've given you plenty of help to solve your problems. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep to get over this frustration. Write me tomorrow, okay?

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 23, 2010 - 7:14pm

I will look into setting up the Reunion myself. I'll get the list of the C.O.2000 Students Contact List from the Principal, look for volunteers in my congregation to help to put together the committee. And I have your support too. :)

I also apologize for sounding pitiful; I am a lot better than that.

A bit of my friends; Kellie Andes was my H.S. Sweetheart (at least in my opinion). I met her my Sophmore Year in P.E. We also shared a few other classes together, including a Science Class. She was a very nice and smart girl; quite talkative too. I gave her a gift now and then on the occasions, such as Valentines Day and her Birthday. Without my knowledge, of which I had learned a LOT later, she was going out with some other dude.

Tiffany Gowen was a bit of a tomboy, but she was a good and smart girl too; also tough and sweet. She asked Me to dance at the Seinor Prom (I gave a lame excuse of "Two Left Feet" at first); she whisked me onto the dance floor, and we were having fun. Even a close slow dance; it was nice. I've been looking forward to the Reunion to return the favor.

Sarah Bevel and Brian Smart were the High School Sweethearts I was well-aware of (the ONLY couple I was well-aware of). They both were good people. They, Tiffany and I shared lunchtime together at the same table our Seinor Year.

I had more friends who were very good to me throughout High School as well. Also, I was not all that a Popular Individual, and I was Not Aware of ANY "Popularity Food Chain", and I had no concern of such a stupid hierarchy. I was somewhere in the Middle.

Same thing throughout College; little Popularity, no concern of such; except it was a downhill slope for me that I was only too happy to leave behind.

Grade-Wise From Middle School, I was on Honor Roll ALL THE WAY (made the Dean's List in PVCC too).

My High School Graduation was bad, because of me leaving my friends and NOT receiving ANY Awards for my Talents (I only got a Star Pin for my Honor Roll Grades), I felt very sad on Graduation Day. Plus it was a rainy, rainy day (it didn't help either). All of my friends were scattered in the alphabetical lineup; my family, the Reverend Shin and his family (of the Korean Church we were going to back then), and the faculty were there; plus some big-wig people who I do not remember their names at all (and I was too crestfallen to pay attention then). The final nail that sealed my sad deal was when they passed out MORE Talent Awards right before handing out Diplomas (still got none myself). Walking up in the single-file line, I got my diploma, but I did not shake anyone's hands, and I cried. After returning to my seat, I excused myself up the center aisle and sought a secluded area for myself (a table in the dining area of the building). It would have gone better if I had my friends around me, instead of two "C"-named strangers, and if I had gotten a BIG Award for my Talents.

On a Flip Side, my PVCC Graduation went The Complete Opposite; I was happy; I shook a Governer's hand, and I actually threw my cap in the air with the rest of the crowd I was in. This complete 180 was due to the fact that I had Little amount of Acquaintances, and that thanks to some people, PVCC was like a Hell Hole to me, and I was ONLY TOO HAPPY to be Leaving it.

NOT to sound pitiful here, but the dreams I have of going back to my High School life and wanting to go back to Chesterfield Co., they’re all based from my events from the past number of years after moving back; I'd say since about 2003 or 5 (somewhere in between there) the emotional hurts started, ever since my 21st Birthday when ON THAT DAY, I was literally kicked out of the English Class I was taking at PVCC for having scared the male professor beforehand. We were reading “Wednesday's Child", which is a story of a Autistic Girl; I raised my hand and informed him that I was High-Functioning Autistic. Between that surprise, plus past opinions I've expressed in writing in my homework of critiquing other students' essays or stories we were reading and such. There was one I remember from then where the essay had a lot of offensive content, including smoking, and I spoke my mind on how offended I was of it. Plus other details I misunderstood that he was expecting in the assignments.

I have a considerably comfortable life, and I appreciate it all, I do. It's just not having someone to share it with, and me being sometimes yelled at by my father for letting a bunch of our private information get out on the internet (including such content I was tricked out of or blackmailed into doing by those trolls).

I feel my life would be a lot better with my own girl by my side to share it with, hang out, make love, being together, eventually having children and such.

When my life here is that much better, especially before having the chance to move back to Chesterfield Co., I would feel better being able to stay here... I should probably re-evaluate my life or something, IDK.

I would appreciate it if you did call me (please e-mail me the phone number you'd be calling from beforehand, so I'll know to watch for that, and you won't have to go to voicemail).

I am not a pitiful person, and I do not want you to think of me that way, Sweetheart.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 23, 2010 - 10:04pm

Hey Chris!

When I said you need help for your reunion, I kind of meant your fellow classmates. I mean, neither your congregation, nor myself went to Manchester High, you and your classmates did.

What awards were you hoping to get at graduation? If your high school was like mine they probably only had one award for every category, they can't give the awards to everyone. It saddens me how, ten years later, you still seem to just be so bitter and unappreciative of your graduation. Can you really think of nothing good about the ceremony, even to this day? I mean, if you had gotten an award, wouldn't the other person who didn't get the award feel bad instead of you? And you really wouldn't shake anyone's hand? My school President and Principle weren't always my favorite people but I sure respected them, and when they put out their hands at my graduation I shook them proudly because they worked very hard to provide an environment where I could get a good education. It seems like if something isn't perfect for you then you just don't accept anything about it at all - just like how you don't want to try any of the solutions I suggest.

But enough of that, let's talk about the reunion some more. As I said, I doubt the principle has contact info for most of your class, because they've all probably moved and changed numbers in the past ten years, and the school would have no reason to keep accurate contact info for people who have already graduated. (Some schools, like mine, throw out their contact info for students after they leave the school, so they have nothing at all.) I know trolls will probably try to give you false positives and lure you into traps if you make a video, but seriously, I think it is the best way for you to get in touch with your old classmates. Like I said, I will help you filter out the false from the true responses - I want to put emphasis on that, because I don't want you to get the impression from my last email that I won't help you at all; I am definitely willing to help you out with this. I just wanted you to take the first step and do it. But once you're underway, we're in it together, okay? Tell you what, why don't you make a prototype video and just send it to me? Not one to release, but I can watch it and give you advice on it, help you with things to say, and such. That way you can make a new video afterwards that's made right. Tell you what, get that to me by Thursday, please. Thursday at 9:00pm.

And don't worry about sounding pitiful for remembering old times sweetie, that's not what I meant. We all love to reminisce about good times in our past, and I want to hear more things about your past, your past has a huge part in making you who you are. When I said you had kind of a "pity me" attitude, what I meant was that you didn't seem to appreciate what you currently do have - and you have a lot more than a lot of people - and that sometimes you seem to want to keep complaining about what you have even when you're offered a solution. That's all I meant by it.

Anyway, how is the trolling forum thing going? I was poking around there today and found this thread where they're talking about your playstation again, take a look: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=82
As you can see, they have people everywhere, and they obviously are capable of covering their tracks or else they wouldn't be able to stay in place as long as they do; they wouldn't even believe you if you told them they have trolls in their ranks. Deferring to other authorities like me or whoever just doesn't work because they keep on rolling. You've got to start handling things yourself here, Chris, and quickly. If you can get in and smash up the trolls' efforts, they'll be too busy picking up the pieces of their stupid game to even care about the video you release.

Also, there was this weird thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=67
Who is Reggie? Do you know her?

Well, anyway, get me that prototype video by Thursday so that I can critique it and point out things that might be exploitable by trolls so we can remove them for the final product. Keep a strong heart sweetie, we'll get through this. You just need to take the first step through the door, I'll be waiting to hold your hand on the other side. <3

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|August 23, 2010 - 10:09pm

Oh, before I go to bed, since you missed the deadline originally, let me say I want you to get that picture of my fantasy to me by Friday at 9:00pm, like I asked. That should give you time to get me the prototype video by Thursday and then draw up the picture on Friday. I look forward to seeing it, sweetie! ;)}}

{{EmailReply|August 24, 2010 - 8:23pm

As I type this e-mail, it is being uploaded onto the MegaUploader; you'll likely get the e-mail with the link right before I send this message. I am attaching some photos I thought may be good for the video, including one I actually hold up in this one. I await your valued opinions. :)

I will leave the video uploaded until about 9:00 PM tomorrow, or right after I receive your confirmation of having successfully downloaded the video file.

For the Graduation topic,... counting the blessings... I was able to greet Tiffany for the last time then; the ceremony went without any casualties; my family, Tiffany, and my teacher, Mrs. Johnson, were there to offer condolences and support for me; I got my Bible from the Reverend Shin as a Graduation gift. That's all I can think of. I was hoping for an award for my Talents; either in ART or MATH at least.

I think the Ceremony was Televised, so I wouldn't be surprised if my Faux Paux of an emotional outburst when I got my Diploma was a Highlight on the News that night. Yes, I Really Did Not shake anyone's hand back then. If I had the chance, I would like to see the video, because I didn't have the bird's-eye-view of the event. I feel ashamed of myself for how I acted then; my father recently told me that he was still ashamed of me of what I did then too. He said I disgraced the family. :_(

Principal Koste and Assistant, Mr. Don Skeen, and everyone else at Manchester High were all very good people, and I did, and still do, respect them all. If I could have it to do ALL over again, I WOULD definitely shake their hands.

The Troll Forum; I do not know anyone named Reggie, and I have informed the people of Sony of the Forum, starting from the confession on this page, http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=77.

As for smashing up the Trolls' efforts from the Forum, I have no idea what to say or do; what are you expecting or suggesting that I'd say or do?

Anyway, I await your opinions and thoughts of the "Prototype" Video. And I'm drawing in my head the image for the Circle Bang fantasy. Thank you very much for your valued support.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart. :)
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 8

2010-11-06T05:30:24Z

Lime: Adding category.

{{EmailReply|August 6, 2010 - 11:53am

Thank you, Sweetheart, for your encouragement.

Just to update, my father has been really on his high horse and not only been loud a lot to me and the other people he has been talking to lately, but also thinking of getting even with the trolls with a set-up
of me to plant the seed of. We're going to close my account at BB&T, and he's going to monitor it and take major control of my finances at Bank of America. An account for me will be opened there, he'll be holding onto the Debit Card for there, he'll be taking out his monthly amounts and giving me the majority of my funds in Visa Gift Cards. I do not like it, because I am responsible with the Debit Card; I can get the Gift Cards for Online Use Myself. Lately it's been too much for me.

On another note, actually, I Pawned off 12 NES, 3 SNES, 6 Genesis, 9 Game Boy and 6 PSOne Games for a total of $42 at Snooky's Pawn Shop. I put ten of it in my bank and pocketed the rest. I had a total of 23 PSOne games, but they passed on the latter of them for a scratch or two. And I also tried to pawn my Game Boy Pocket, but they would not take it because it was too old technology. I'm thinking of donating the 17 PSOne games and the Game Boy Pocket to Goodwill, unless I can find someone else who is buying the old stuff.

I did not reply yesterday, because I was feeling down, and I was going out of the house three times in all, so I took the remaining time for my self recovery.

The new Wal-Mart opens on the 16th of this month, and I have not heard anything from them yet; I'll be going down there later today to talk to them. They were looking to hire 400 local people; they may have reached their 400th employee, IDK.

I gtg, but I'll e-mail you later.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 6, 2010 - 4:04pm

Hey Chris!

Don't worry, I figured you were probably dealing with stuff yesterday. I'm glad you wrote today.

I wouldn't hold your dad getting loud with you against him, Chris. I mean, this was a pretty big deal; he had to bail you out of a huge debt you had - about $770, right? That's not pocket change. And this isn't the first time you've goofed like this, you've been telling him that you had learned from your mistakes when you hadn't, so I can understand why he's mad. But you should just tell him that he's right and that you know you messed up, he'll be happier if he knows how sorry you are for violating his trust. Has he said anything about the playstation 3? I mean, he must know it's the real source of all your spending woes.

But I'm glad you got rid of so many games! Maybe next time you should bring some of your more current games, like for the PS2, PS3, gamecube, wii, and x-box. Those are all still current so I'm sure that they won't get turned away, and you can get a lot more cash for them.

So your dad has some plot to get even with the trolls? You didn't really explain that part, what do you mean exactly? It's good that you're getting another bank account so whoever did this can't track your account again. I think it's kind of a good idea for him to hold on to your debit card and manage your money for you, because this way you won't be tempted to spend so much money on the PSN. You know, I looked up that Little Big Planet game, and that thing is a complete money sink! They designed it just to swallow up your money by charging you for every little character, costume, and level piece you download, I really think you should get a refund on your pre-order for that game; having that game will only tempt you to fall back into your addiction cycle. I mean, how much have you spent in total on the first Little Big PLanet? In fact, would you please tally it up for me, like every DLC item and everything, and send it to me? I'd really be curious, plus I think just tallying it up and writing it down will kind of illustrate it for yourself just how much of a money sink it is.

Now what's the deal with your church counselors that you mentioned last time? Is your dad working with them to help work out a payment plan so you can repay your dad, or something like that? How often do you see them, every week at church? Will you see them this Sunday? You should talk to them about the subject then, I'm sure they can help you figure out how to pay your dad back. But selling all those games is a great start, I'm sure your dad will be happy when you give him the $32 from your first sale. :)

Ooh, I just thought of something perfect! I bet your church has charity auctions and sales for needy families and stuff like that, right? You should talk to your counselors about donating all those games and systems that the stores won't take! I know it's old stuff, but I'm sure there's tons of less fortunate kids who would love to have games when their families can't afford them! I bet your counselors will be just thrilled when you talk to them about it, let me know how it goes!!

I wouldn't be too discouraged if Wal-Mart hasn't called you back yet, sometimes businesses can get behind in that sort of stuff, just call them up and ask where they are in the process. Have you thought any more about the plan to push for full-time and get yourself off the social security? I think now that this whole series of ugly events has happened, this is a great time to just try to start anew, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and make some positive changes, since things are already changing anyway. In fact, you might want to apply at a few other places around town, just in case the Wal-Mart thing falls through. We're approaching fall and a lot of part-time kids are leaving their jobs and going back to school, so I'm sure there are plenty of businesses that will be looking for replacement workers.

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 8, 2010 - 12:57pm

Things have lightened up a bit, but we're still recovering. My father has not said much about the PSN stuff; he's more in mind of the banking re-situating and such. I am going to continue with the purchase of LittleBiGPlanet 2, and I'll tally up the LBP1 items for you later (I have been hand-writing an inventory of each item, price, size and monetary information since After the first time it was hacked into, including All times before then). Note, I got some of the items for Free, such as the Metal Gear Solid Level Kit and Costumes; I Earned them from after submitting a level commemorating the 2nd Year Anniversary of the Playstation 3 I had created (they gave me a PSN Voucher Code for said DLC).

I do not know what my father will have in mind for a counter-attack against the Trolls, but he is aware of Junior Jenkins, and I am certain he'll cook up something after this bank trial is done. Also, he is not in alliance with Elizabeth and Rocky currently, but the goal is the same.

I GTG, but I'll TTYL.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 8, 2010 - 4:14pm

Hey Chris. I was wondering what happened, you didn't write yesterday.

I can't wait to see the Little Big Planet tally. I bet it comes out to being a lot of money. But remember Chris, just because you got some of the DLC for free doesn't make it any better - this is about your addiction, ANY amount of stuff you get for it just fuels the addiction. In fact, getting free stuff is worse than paying for stuff, because its only going to lull you into actually paying for more stuff.

I'm disappointed that you're still getting Little Big Planet 2. I've looked into the game, it's basically just a money trap. The whole point of the game is to drop hundreds of dollars on stupid content and costumes for your characters that you don't even need. It's a lot worse than any other typical game, where you just pay for the game once and that's it. I really don't get how you intend to pay for all that DLC while at the same time claiming you've learned from your spending mistakes, but whatever. Like I said, the free DLC is still bad because not only does it draw you to pay for other DLC, but it draws you into buying more DLC. It's not about the money Chris, it's about the fact this stuff dominates your life.

As far as your church counselors, I asked if they and your father are working together to deal with your spending habits, and you kind of ignored my question. Like I said, I really don't get how they can help you deal with the trolls. I thought church was something you used to help you work on YOUR issues, not help you get back at internet bullies, but whatever. Honestly Chris, these video games are a deathtrap for you but you don't seem to care about getting over them or making improvements to yourself.

As proof you don't care, most of your last email was just a long paragraph bragging about all the DLC you got. And I can point to a number of other emails you've sent me where the longest section was talking about video games. Free stuff is worse because you seem to think it's okay, but it's lulling you into a false sense of security.

You didn't answer my questions about if you have thought more about a full-time job or getting off the social security either; you know I take time to write you every day, I kind of wish you would do the same and respond to my questions. This worries me because it feels just like before, when you started ignoring me and then brushed me off because you didn't like answering me when I was talking to you and trying to get to know you. I can handle getting an answer I don't agree with, you know, but it's disrespectful to pretend you didn't hear the question in the first place.

Sigh... I'm just frustrated. I wish you would put more effort into me, is all.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 9, 2010 - 2:06pm

Jackie, I am putting a lot of effort into our relationship. I seriously had to cut my e-mail short yesterday, because my family and I were going out for an outing. Please allow me to resume my e-mail to answer your questions.

Firstly, my father is not currently in alliance with Elizabeth and Rocky over some emotional differences from his point of view. My father does more for helping me quell my spending habits, Rocky only advises me, and Elizabeth, while supportive as the pastor she is, is out of the loop.

I do go to church to help me resolve some of my own personal issues, as well as space the trolls away from me emotionally. The church has nothing to do with bullying the Trolls back.

As for the LittleBigPlanet Add-On talley, it totals to over $100. I get it. <|(

I'm sorry, I am just soooooooooo stressed from the past week, and the fight still marches on until we get this whole financial mess the Trolls started resolved. For Each of Every One of those damn idiots, I Pray that I, Christian Weston Chandler, Haunt their Dreams, giving them all Nightmares, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I loathe them all soo much.

I have not been able to think further about the full time job or getting off the social, because I've been dealing with the above mess.

*Sigh*

Jacklyn, I am not, and I promise never to ever, ignore your questions or concerns. I would have answered them all yesterday, but I had to go out, and I am sorry for not resuming the message after my later return. But I have answered them now.

I do not want there to be anything to ever break us up; I want you and me to be together. You are the sweetest, most understanding and caring woman I have had the blessing to be in a relationship with in my lifetime. I want you with me ASAP and for a very long time after that. I am very fond of you, Sweetheart.

I also thought up a cute idea of how to draw you earlier today; you in a sexy pose. ;) You get me turned on; I rubbed one out shortly after that image, as well as another idea. Me coming up from behind you, kissing you, taking your pants off then mine, you lean against a wall, and I move your panties to one side of your pussy, then putting my dick in you. Feel free to pick any scene; kitchen, bedroom, public restroom, locker room, etc. Does the idea of getting caught turn you on?

But enough of the fun for now. Where are you now? I still count the days until the 18th. Let's set the meet definitely for the 20th at the Starbucks near the China King Buffet at 1:00 PM. I promise you we will share a good day together.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 9, 2010 - 3:13pm

Hey Chris! I'm really sorry about my last email, I was just having a really crummy day and I got short with you. Forgive me? ;)

So, Rocky is your counselor, and Elizabeth is the pastor? Tell me more about Rocky. Do you think she'd like me? I admire her for helping you, I think she and I have that in common. What do you guys do during your meetings? I hope you have fun with her. I used to go to church when I was a kid but I never really got into it, the whole idea of confessions kind of turned me off.

So you tallied up the Little Big Planet purchases? I'm so happy that you get it now, sometimes it's hard to see unless you force yourself to look at the hard facts. Well, I'm glad that you see now how much of a waste that Little Big Planet is. Forgive me for if I sounded rude but I just don't want you falling into that trap again, sweetie. Maybe you could talk to your dad about how you were thinking of purchasing it, I'm sure he'd be happy to know you've re-thought it. It's like I say Chris, right now pretty much every little thing you can do for your dad to get brownie points won't be a waste, so make sure to let him know about your new decision to cancel the purchase. :)

It sucks that the trolls forced you to reveal your money woes to your dad before you were ready to. I'm sorry, I haven't been asking about that lately! Did you ever get those overdraft fees reversed? Or is that still in the works? Although it's good that things are looking up now. I know you weren't happy about the idea of talking to your dad about your card when I first suggested it, but it's good that you finally manned up to your mistakes. I know it sucks but it's really the right situation, you're an addict and you need help to deal with your situation. Like I said, you should really look at this not as a disaster, but as an opportunity for positive change. Hating the trolls won't fix what you've done - self-improvement begins with you. :)

I kind of like your sexy idea ;) I was thinking of something in particular: You know you described your fantasy about having sex in the pool in the guys' locker room? I'd love to make it a reality. Can you show me a preview by drawing us together in a pool? We would just be tearing at each other; but then we get caught! A bunch of guys come in surrounding the pool and just stare at us, but we're so enamored with each other, making such passionate love, that we just don't care and we keep going! And then all the guys get turned on by watching us, and they start jacking themselves off into the pool... circle-jerking is such a huge fantasy of mine! Do you think you could draw something like that for me?

Oh Chris, I'm so hot right now, I feel like I could squirt... I look forward to hearing from you,

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 11, 2010 - 4:33pm

WOW! You are a wild woman. ;) I will consider drawing that scenario as a second drawing. But when talking of locations with gender differences, let's keep it neutral in fantasy discussion. For example, I could be finding you alone in a women's locker room and doing you there. And I am sure there would be women along with the men awing us around the pool. I would really like to make the pool sex a reality between you and me too, but we'll wait until after we're together and we can scout around and plan it out. ;)

Anyway, the other topics of your last e-mail. Rocky is a kind and understanding woman in her 40s (I think). During our meetings, we usually just hang, talk and listen. She offers me reasonable solutions or advice when applicable to my situations in life. She also has a good family who she talks with often. Her son works with RockStar Video Games (the company behind such titles as Grand Theft Auto).

I think Rocky and everyone in my congregation would like you too. My church does not have confessions, but if felt needed, you may confide with Rocky or Elizabeth. The weekly services are usually very pleasant. There are good songs. The sermons link respectively with the readings from the Bible. And there's fellowship afterwards with refreshments. I invite you to join me one Sunday or more. :)

Aside from the financial traps of the additional costume pieces, LittleBiGPlanet is still a Fun, Great game. It became the Leader in the concept of "Play, Create, Share". And it is fun from the In-Game Story Levels, Custom Level Creations, and All of the Published Levels on the Servers (Including my own; I also have a "Fun First Date" Level I would be very happy to share with you side-by-side). :) Mainly, the first game is a Platformer, and in the 2nd game they're expanding with MANY Awesome Upgrades of which the viewpoints can be changed, among a LOT of other things. LBP 2 is going to be more than Play, Create, Share Platformer (and tweaked levels to look like other games), but Play, Create, Share ALL GAME FORMATS. "LittleBiGPlanet; it is a Planet that is Little, it is a Planet that is Big. LittleBiGPlanet." A motto for the game I made up. I'm just saying don't knock it for the pricey, Optional add-ons alone; play the game for yourself.

I intend to boycott future LBP Add-On Purchases, but as a fan, I am still going to get LBP 2. Give me credit for Selling over 50 of my old games. You can still remain proud of me, Sweetheart. ;)

All of the bank issues are still in the works; I am uncertain of when it will all be resolved for now, but hopefully it will be before the end of this month. And you are right of it being an opportunity for self-improvement from the whole ordeal. My family and I still have our angst against the trolls; they will be dealt with eventually.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweetest, Sweetheart. :-*
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|August 13, 2010 - 3:00pm

I haven't received an e-mail from you for a short while. Are you closing in on Sweet Home Virginia? :)

As for me, it's currently good and same-ol, same-ol. The banks and the credit card are still in limbo with the pending fees and such. My mom and dad are doing okay.

I watched "Cannibal Holocaust" the other day. It was okay, but seeing the tearing apart of a monkey's skull, a whole big turtle and even seeing that dude's dick get cut off bothered me. But it's Hollywood magic; fake dummies, motorized limbs, prop guts and all, so I get over the feeling with that perspective. I liked the part where the professor lured out the women of the tribe to play with him in the water. And I see the whole parody and comical portions of the movie.

Speaking of favorite movie parts, from "Pink Flamingos", I enjoyed the part where they held the "Kangaroo Trial" at the site of their burned down trailer. Especially the Court Stand they had there; the Trailer burned down. Where did they get it from? Did they swipe it on the way back to the Trailer or what? LOL

So, where are you now? Are you still safe and sweet? What's the good word with you, Sweetheart? I still look forward to our meeting on the 20th at the Starbucks at 1:00.

Lots of Love for you. ;)

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 13, 2010 - 7:55pm

Hey Chris. Sorry I haven't written in a bit, been a bit busy.

Well actually, that scene with the professor taking the women into the water was a pretty disturbing and violent rape scene. I don't get why that was your favorite part? Also, all the animals that were killed in that movie were actually killed, there was no hollywood magic about it. The makers of the movie got sued by PETA over animal cruelty violations.

So how are your parents? How have they been feeling in the wake of all this stuff? And hey, how are your drawings of me coming?

Sorry I don't have much time to talk, but things are just really busy and crazy for me right now. I'll try to write more a little later, but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Arghh, all these distractions...

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 15, 2010 - 5:28pm

Post-Financial Traumas, my parents are recovering okay. My father got to have some fun of his own with mom (and me today) when they went to a Stamp Convention in Richmond Friday (just got back from a return trip with me invited for today). My father is a good stamp collector; he has a grand collection (Not as GRAND as his Record Collection, LOL. But I guess he would have enough postage to send his records anywhere He goes). He found some fun rare vintage stamps that he got a kick out of seeing on display. I found a fun little souvenir there for myself; I spent 4 bucks on a set of the 10 Sylvester and Tweety Stamps from 1997, plus 2 more of the bigger portion with one stamp each. First time I laid eyes on the familiar image from seeing it on Television and Post Office way back then, I knew I had to have that. These are self-adhesive stamps, F.Y.I. Anyway, I'm a bit worn from the driving and walking with dad today. I will have your drawing for you tomorrow.

I am very happy to hear from you again, and I understand how busy you are on your final days of your U.S.A. trip. I look forward greatly to Friday when we meet. Let me hear the details from you in your reply of Where and What Time we're planning to meet on Friday for good confirmation. :) F.Y.I., I tend to be about a quarter hour or less early, so I pray you'll be early or on-time. I Truly want you and me to Hook Up and take our Relationship further.

Also, another note, it is confirmed that I will have a minimum $20 in my wallet for Friday, and another 20 in my bank account that I'd use ONLY if Needed after what comes out of my wallet. I promise you that we will still have a good time together; any suggestions you have for our day/night together during the time will be accepted and applied for reply and to Do.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 16, 2010 - 6:22pm

Hey Chris! Sorry again I've been so busy and not written much, you know how it is.

Well, as for the date when we have it, hmm, I'll have to think about where we can go. I like to keep first dates kind of low key and informal, just kind of go with the flow, but we can talk more about it.

I'm looking forward to our date, too! :) So I was wondering if maybe you could get that drawing to me soon? I'm really looking forward to seeing how sexy you can make it for me, just like I described ;) I'd really love to have your drawing before we meet so I can have something to enjoy as a preview... Tomorrow I'm going to have the hotel room mostly to myself, and if I have your picture I can enjoy it in more ways than one, if you know what I mean... ;) Get it to me by 9pm your time tomorrow so I can take full advantage of it!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 16, 2010 - 6:43pm

I hear you clearest; I'd like it low key and informal too, and seeing as we go with the flow is good. I can do it sexier, but here's the start for you. ;) You're making me hard with what you said about what you may do in the hotel room.

I'll say it one more time to make sure we got our starting location in place. The Starbuck, next door to the Radio Shack, in the same shopping center area as the China King Buffet, across the street from Fashion Square Mall, on Siminole Trail in Charlottesville, VA. :)

And, also, please give me a call on my cell 434-760-0848Thursday at about 7:00 PM to final-confirm our date.

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 16, 2010 - 7:30pm

Ooh, That's a sweet picture!! You make me look so sweet! But I can't wait to have the real picture of the little "pool party" I talked about. I'm getting excited just thinking of how you'll do it! Remember to get it to me by the time I said, Sweetie!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 17, 2010 - 5:00pm

I'm happy you liked my rendition of you. I'll have the drawing of the "Pool Party" by Friday; I'll hand you the original drawing in my car.

I've recently drew up my own rorschach drawing; I took pen in hand on blank paper, closed my eyes, and drew freely. It's very good in seeing what's in the subconsious. Especially when seeing it from all four rotations. Right-side-up, I saw a sexy woman (probably you). ;)

But in the other three rotations, I saw some nightmarish items, including a snapping turtle head, leering eyes, a human foot and even a hooded stranger. They're either from me recently watching the "Cannibal Holocaust", or my head is stressed. I'm attaching the drawing; you print and tell me what you see in all four rotations; what I saw I wrote respective in that side up.

I am soooo happy to be meeting you very soon; I need a sweet, beautiful woman like you to help me feel more relaxed and at peace. :)

Thank God also that the bank issues will be resolved and completely straightened out about this or next week.

Please sooth my head for me, Sweetheart.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 17, 2010 - 7:18pm

Chris, what do you mean Friday? I wanted that drawing today! Couldn't you have made it for me?

Chris, I'm feeling a little stressed myself. I was really hoping you could do this for me as I asked. It took you weeks to get me just an ordinary drawing after I asked, and now you won't give me the sexy drawing like I needed? How am I supposed to have "fun" (wink wink) by myself without it? I have a feeling if I had asked for a modnation racer level instead of a drawing, you would have gotten that to me quickly enough.

You know, something actually came up on my trip that I was going to turn down, but now I'm kind of having second thoughts about meeting so soon... Here's the short of it: A friend of mine is in engineering school in Indiana. She was supposed to come drive out to visit us this week in Virginia but her car is completely dead, I don't know the story but apparently it's going to cost more to fix than the thing is worth and she can't really afford a plane ticket right now, and her parents can't get her one either. She was going to just stay in Indiana but after a long talk we all decided we are going to go see her there, since it's been almost two years since we've seen her and I barely get a chance to even talk to her much these days. We're going to stay in Indiana with her for a few days, then come home probably through Kentucky and West Virginia.

I was looking forward to just driving straight home to Virginia and finally meeting you, but I'm just kind of disappointed and hurt that you have been dragging your feet on getting me a simple drawing. I wanted so badly to see some sign that you do care about this as much as I have but maybe you aren't as into meeting me as I thought. I know you were looking forward to seeing me this week, I was too. But I think we can stand a couple more weeks to meet, maybe that will give us both time to think more about this. I'd really feel a lot more confortable meeting you after I've seen you put some effort into us.

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{Email|July 17, 2010 - 7:32pm

By the way, what you drew isn't actually a rorschach image. Rorschachs are supposed to be inkblot-style pieces, the purpose is for the person presenting them to determine what the first thought or idea is the viewer comes up with upon viewing the rorschach. I attached some examples for you to see. Tell me what you see when you look at them, I'm curious to know!

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 19, 2010 - 4:36pm

Well, I did not say that it was really Rorschach, but rorschach-like; I did not know what the actual term for a hand-drawn, eye-free drawing was. In the images you sent me, I saw, respectively from top to
bottom, a blooming tulip and two horse heads; the human lungs, kidneys and back and pelvic bones; fighter jet plane.

I've been finally settling up the bank issues this week; I have the drawing of our pool party; I had not colored it in yet. I was going to send it to you later tonight after coloring it in today. I had just gotten back home from after making 40 bucks from selling more NES and SNES games, and my SNES console, Super Scope 6 gun and the SNES Mouse; I donated blood and played in a Guitar Hero Tournament sponsored by VA Blood Services, and I was about to go look through this week's "Hook" for events, and go onto moviefone.com to look up local showings of "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World". I was all set for our date tomorrow.

But I understand the situation with your friend in Indiana, and I am sorry for her not being able to come to you. As much as it pains me to wait longer, I'll wait two more weeks for you. Do not question our relationship, Jacklyn; I Fond for you, and I Long for you. I want you and me to be together for a very long time.

I'll e-mail you the colored drawing later tonight.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 7

2010-11-06T05:27:54Z

Lime: Adding category.

{{Email|July 31, 2010 - 2:21pm

Hey Chris!

Ah, I did misunderstand some things, it seems. I wasn't aware that you paid your father rent. Okay, so you pay him $480 a month for rent, plus you currently pay him $100 in repayment for him settling your credit cards, so that's $580 a month total you give him, right? So out of $820 a month, you actually keep $240 after expenses, correct? I think I can maybe offer some help in this regard. I apologize if this letter is pretty long, but I want to make sure I have everything clear.

Let me try to figure this out out loud for myself. What position exactly did you apply for at Wal-Mart, like a greeter or cashier? Or did you just make a general application? I know some stores don't let you apply for specific positions, they just take your application and then look for a place they can put you as it becomes available. Do you know what the hourly rate is you would be starting at? Assuming it's $7.25 per hour, which is Virginia minimum wage, if you worked 40 hours a week you'd get $290 a week, or about $1160 a month. But that's assuming you stay at minimum wage, you could get a raise to more than that. If I remember right, their cashiers are actually supposed to start at a higher amount. So if you kept your SSI, you could make theoretically up to $1800 a month. Granted, that is a lot more. But to make up to that amount of $980 on the job at minimum wage, you'd need to have like 32 or 33 hours a week. Unless an employee is guaranteed full time, retailers are typically very erratic and unreliable in how many hours they give their employees; they give you however many hours they need you to be there that week and no more. I used to work retail, one week I'd get 25 hours, the next week I'd get maybe 10. And 25 was pushing it, retailers usually keep their employees at as few hours as possible, it saves a lot of money for them to do so. So don't be disappointed, but I wouldn't count on being able to get that full $1800 a month even under the best circumstances.

In answer to your question of what I would rather you do, I'd honestly (no criticism or harshness intended here, I'm just trying to be honest) rather that you go for a full-time job and get off the social security entirely. That wouldn't be easy to do in a short amount of time, starting at full-time right away is probably not possible, but as time goes on and you are with a company for longer, you should be able to get your employers to give you more time and promotions until you get there, at which point you could give up your SSI. My reason for saying this is because life isn't all about money, and just because you CAN get more money by staying on SSI doesn't mean you SHOULD. Remember Chris, like I said, SSI is meant for people who are unable to take care of themselves, you are able to take care of yourself if you apply yourself and work hard. And as you work toward having more hours and a better position, you would be able to gradually lessen your dependence on the SSI until you can do away with it entirely.

So wait, you have a new credit card that you're paying $50 a month on? May I ask, when exactly did you get this card? And also if I may ask, what is the limit on the card, and how close are you to that limit? And is it just the one card you have right now, or do you have more cards apart from the ones your father settled for you? I know these are kind of private questions, but I think it would help me be able to help you if you tell me. (Don't worry, I'll keep quiet about all of this, your secrets are safe with me.) So between the $580 to your parents, $50 on this card, and I'm guessing around $15 each a month for netflix and gamefly... wow, I guess you don't have much left over at the end, only like $150 after bills, is that about right?

Here's my advice to you, in several parts: One, I think you should cancel netflix and gamefly immediately. Aside from the money cost, they are both enabling your video game and tv habit. Two, I think you should take an inventory of all the video games you own, figure out the ones you haven't played in a while, and sell those. I know you have a lot of older games, right? There are probably some retro game stores around town, they pay good money for any old games they can get their hands on because they're hard to find. Right now those games are just taking up space and feeding your habit. I know you've had impulsive weakness in the past, but trust me, getting rid of the thing that's tempting you is the best way to grow out of it. I know it seems grim sometimes, but trust me, your impulsive shopping habits aren't related to your autism at all, you can beat them. The first step is always hard like ripping off a bandaid, but it's necessary to move forward, you just have to step up and do it.

In fact, maybe I can help you with figuring out which games to get rid of and which ones are valuable and you can make good money on. I have a request: Would you be willing to take inventory of all your video games and send it to me? I mean literally every game you own, every system, every console, whether you've owned it for a month or for twenty years. Everything from your playstation 3 down to your old sega genesis. I won't ask you to dump all of it, going cold turkey isn't easy to do. But if I know exactly what you have it will help me help you. I bet it wouldn't take more than a few hours to do. Would you do that for me? Please? ;)

Now, on to other stuff. You say your parents would call the police on you if you went to Otakon? I just don't get how they would do so. I guess if your car is in their name, they could legally punish you for taking it without their permission, but couldn't you have gotten on a greyhound bus to otakon? From Charlottesville to Baltimore, a bus ride wouldn't be very expensive. And like I said, if you told them you were going, they wouldn't be able to file a missing person report. And as for them taking your money, isn't the SSI your money, not theirs? They don't have a legal right to it, do they? I'm glad that they are supportive of you having a girlfriend, but it just worries me a little that you don't seem willing to challenge them when you have a different opinion from them. It's sweet that you think they'll like me, but the truth is, sometimes parents don't like their child's significant other.

Aww, I'm glad we started talking together again too, Chris :) It's so sweet to know that I bring this much joy to someone I care about. I look forward to finally meeting you in person.

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 1, 2010 - 3:00pm

Well, on the application, I applied for stocker, cashier or greeter; probably a few others, but I don't recall at the moment, and at Part Time (with plans for 28 to 30 hour Work Weeks). It's only the ONE credit card, it's a Reward Zone Master Card (from Best Buy); the limit currently is 750, with probability of increase (don't quote me on that); it's currently 20 over. I intend to practice heavy self-control, and I do not wish to increase the monthly payment at this time.

I will cancel my GameFly, but I wish to keep my Netflix; I have BOTH myPS3 and Wii Linked to the account for Instant Streaming with their respective discs. A spot of an update is required with it in the PS3and PSP area, but I have previously created an inventory and kept it up to date for a good while; I'll attach the Microsoft Excel File for your consideration. I am willing to concentrate in the Vintage Console Games, but DEFINITELY NOT any from my Game Boy, SNES, N64, Sega Saturn, Sega CD, and 32X collections. And I wish to keep ALL of the consoles.

My car is under my parents' name, and my S.S.I. is linked to my Father's S.S.#, so they do currently have the power to take away one or both from me.

Also, another note, I live in Ruckersville; 10-15 minutes North of Charlottesville, so in order for me to take a Greyhound Bus, I would have had to drive to Charlottesville before getting on that bus at all.

Where are you now (or how far from home are you currently)? Please tell me in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 1, 2010 - 6:12pm

Hey Chris,

So you're only paying $50 a month on the Best Buy card? Chris, you'll never pay it off at that rate. Those store cards have ridiculous interest rates just to take advantage of people who don't pay them off right away. Big businesses like Best Buy really aren't even stores, they're banks - they literally make money only off their credit card interest, the merchandise they sell doesn't earn them anything. You need to pay that card off immediately. And unfortunately, I know you don't have the money on hand to do that yourself, so I think you're going to have to go to your father again and ask him to relieve it for you. Because otherwise you'll just be pouring $50 a month into a black hole, because the interest will swallow that up and keep getting bigger.

Now you're not even going to hear me out on getting rid of your games? This just makes me so frustrated Chris, because you shoot me down and REFUSE to even CONSIDER getting rid of your precious video games for the consoles you listed - Chris, those ARE vintage consoles! Why do you need all those games? Chris, I counted from the list you sent me, for all those consoles combined you have a total of 193 GAMES. WHY do you need 193 GAMES?? And that's just for those consoles, you have more than 225 GAMES for all the OTHER consoles, and I doubt you mean to get rid of all of those. Why would you want to hold on to all of these games, Chris? Why? What do they do for you? Is it about nostalgic memories? I hate to be harsh, but the fact is that if that's the case, then those nostalgic memories are the ONLY thing you're going to have left, because these games are consuming your life!

Face it Chris, there are only two types of people who would have that many games: Collectors, and Addicts. The difference between the two is that a collector can manage the other parts of his life just fine, whereas an addict's life is overrun by his possessions and they are the only thing he thinks about. You are the latter. YOU are an addict. Chris, you say that you talk to a pastoral counselor about your problems like the trolls, correct? Have you even brought this issue up to her at all? I bet you haven't, because I REFUSE TO BELIEVE that she would consider trolls taking pictures of you to be a greater problem than the THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU WASTE ON SOMETHING THAT IS DESTROYING YOUR LIFE. If you really expect this woman to help you you need to be HONEST with her.

You keep saying that you are trying to curb your impulses and make up for your past mistakes, but all I see is that you repeat them over and over. And you say that you do not wish to increase your current monthly payment, well, like I said, what you do pay is just going into a black hole, then. When did you get this card, Chris? Was it after your father relieved your previous cards? Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't have any cards? Maybe you shouldn't be managing your own money, period. Especially if you're at risk of getting another card as soon as this current one is taken care of.

*UGH* I'm sorry if I sound mad, but I was just stressed and needed to vent about that, plus I think you needed to hear it bluntly. Because you have a serious problem and I think you don't listen to anyone about it unless they force you to. I want you to get better Chris, and I also want us to have a chance, but you just seem so unwilling to change your habits even when they're ruining your life and that saddens me.

On to other stuff... I hope you get the job at Wal-Mart. When does the store open? Remember what I said, they most likely won't give you 28-30 hours every week; usually retail stores are pretty erratic in the hours they give part-time employees, some weeks they may ask you to work 35, other weeks you may only get 10. It all depends on how much they need you, they won't give employees one hour more than they have a need to. I would recommend trying to get your foot in the door to full-time work, because then it would be guaranteed, and you'd have a greater possibility of promotions down the road.

How are things going on the troll forum, have you posted any more stuff there or found anything out? I'm embarrassed to say I kind of forgot about it so I haven't gone there since the last time we talked about it. I'm in Delaware currently, I'll probably be home around the 17th or 18th, things got pushed back a little, I may be going to western Pennsylvania for a little bit.

Don't feel too sad or anything about what I wrote here, okay? Like I said, I only am trying to shock you a little bit because I think you need to be shocked. Write back and let me know how things are going, okay?

XOXOXO

Jackie

August 1, 2010 - 6:15pm

Also, I forgot to thank you for putting together that list for me, I'm glad you did that :)

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 2, 2010 - 10:21am

Well, you're right for the most part of the games, but I'd still like to keep some of them for, yes, the nostalgia and such. The few console-type games I listed, except for the Game Boy, I counted around 10 or less of those for that console upon recollection. Still, there are among the majority of the rest I'd be willing to part with. BTW, I do not know who you were referring to who would buy the vintage games (the only place I can think of, and I'm sure wouldn't give much is Snooky's Pawn Shop in the C-Ville Downtown Mall), so please fill me in on who this person is. Perhaps you may have been thinking of someone in Staunton.

I've had the credit card for months now (I don't recollect when specifically), and I do not wish to bring it up with my father. Not only would he be pissed at me, he would shout Very Loudly, and considering how old he is, he does not need any more stress to worry about. I will increase my monthly payment to 75 to help, and if I get the job at Wal-Mart, it will most certainly pay the whole thing off from the first month. Also, FYI, GameFly was More expensive than Netflix at a rate of 17 a month versus 11 a month, respectively, so obviously the cancellation of GameFly will be a big help.

I do listen to all the advice and input I get to help me recover, it just takes me a while to fully process the ideas sometimes towards the action. At least I got started with selling some of my DVDs the other day. I am Not refusing to consider getting rid of the latter of my games; I'm getting used to the idea and starting at an easier pace for myself; concentrating first on the vintage, leaving some out and such. Likely, after a start on selling the games to the person you've talked about and feeling more comfortable about it, I feel I'll expand further into the stuff left out and all.

I understand what you are saying, and while the shock is uncomfortable to me, after recovery from the shock I am most appreciated for being told the truth from a trusted outside perspective. It takes time for me, so your understanding and patience in all of this is most appreciated. :)

For future reference, though, I would feel better when in person upon sharing the thoughts with me that you not go into shouting, and keep it on an inside voice level. I get enough shouting in my lifetime from my own father, and sometimes my mother.

As for the Troll Forum, I haven't posted in a while; I need to get back into that groove.

So the 18th is the estimated date; I'll plan around that, but I would feel it better if it was sooner; I really want you here to talk and to hold. You bring out a lot of good feelings in me I didn't feel as much of before we met through OKCupid. I long to look into your pretty eyes, hold your hand, hear your voice. I rearranged the letters in your name, Jacklyn Romy, and I ended up spelling, "Mor Jacky Lyn". To me that reads "More Jacky for Lovin'"; talking to you now is very good, and it will be better when we meet. And every following moments and days I get to be with and talk to you, I will always get my fill of you as my cup overfloweth with your sweetness and radiance, and I will never cease to be most appreciative and thankful. So when I read "Mor Jacky Lyn", I'm thinking I want more of you every moment.

I'll TTYL; please also keep me posted of the state you're currently in as we count down the days.

Stay Sweet and Safe.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 2, 2010 - 1:47pm

I'm not sure myself what store you would go to to sell your vintage games, I don't know any specific person or store, but I'm sure there's at least one or two somewhere in Charlottesville. Do a google search for it, I'm sure it will come up.

Like I said, I didn't mean to seem like I was shouting or anything. In person I don't really shout ever. When I type in all caps like that, that would be the equivalent of me talking sternly in-person, but I'd still be calm and civil. I don't like to yell, it makes things worse for everyone. I'm glad you understand, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, I was kind of worried that maybe I had.

How much money do you have leftover after everything you give your dad each month? Wasn't it like $240 or something? The only expenses you really have are food and the best buy card, correct? If you budget yourself out well, cut out the fast food and restaurants, you should be able to feed yourself for a month on not much money at all. I've been in tight spots before where I had to cut back on everything, if I'm careful and frugal I can feed myself for a month on no more than maybe $60 or $70, and some people get by on even less. That leaves like $150 you could put toward your Best Buy card per month, which would actually make a dent in it. I really think you should pay as much as you possibly can on the card. I know you don't want your dad to find out because he'll get mad at you, but don't you think he has a right to be mad? I mean, he had to relieve your debts for you and probably made it clear that he didn't want you having cards again, but you've lied to him and gotten another card - and as things are going, you may very well not be able to take care of this card on your own. I mean, he's taken care of you all your life, I think he deserves for you to be honest with him and not betray his trust. And keep in mind what I said, the chances of you actually getting the 30 hours a week you want is pretty low...

I hope you're serious that you're considering getting rid of all your games; in your previous email you did say "I am willing to concentrate in the Vintage Console Games, but DEFINITELY NOT any from my Game Boy, SNES, N64, Sega Saturn,Sega CD, and 32X collections". That's a quote direct from you, so I feel my response was justified. But I understand if you were shocked by the thought initially, addicts often are when confronted with their problem. I think it would help to give yourself something of a rigid timetable. For example, I think you should pick ten games from your collection - any ten, from any consoles you want - and sell them by this Friday the 6th. Do you think you can do that for me? Like I said, do a google search for vintage game retailers around Charlottesville for your older games. If they don't want them, or they don't offer a decent price because they're not worth much or whatever, you can take them to Goodwill or something - Goodwill, Salvation Army, they always take games so they can give them to the less fortunate children, I'm sure. Newer games like your PS2, PS3, gamecube, and so on I'm sure Gamestop would take. I'm pretty sure Gamestop will give you better prices if you bring in a bulk amount of games at once. But regardless, I want your goal to be to get rid of 10 games by Friday, so if you aren't offered a satisfactory price for a game or no one wants it, then replace it with another game from your list and try to sell THAT. Will you do this for me?

You really should go back on the troll forum, I thought you were really excited to get on there? You know, another good point of getting rid of your video game addiction is that you'll have more time for other pursuits and interests. Check the email you used for jenkinsjinkies, I'll bet they've been writing you, I know they were eager to have you there.

Whoops, I didn't realize what time it was, I need to get going. I'll be on later, so I hope to hear from you soon!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 3, 2010 - 2:45pm

Actually, you've read my mind, or my actions; I've picked out about 9 PS3, 2 PS2, 3 PSP and 4 DS games and traded them in at GameStop earlier this afternoon. I got about over 50 dollars store credit, which I put in the reservation of LittleBiGPlanet 2 Collector's Edition.

I will do a Google for people/places in C-Ville who would take vintage games, and let you know what I find.

Also, FYI, each month I get myself one 50 dollar PSN Card, so I can at least catch up on some of the add-ons I couldn't afford the past month, such as a bunch of the Track Packs for Guitar Hero. I have closed my GameFly Account and mailed back the current game I had from them. Plus, this month, I had to pay my mom back 30 I owed her, so she and I are now even. So, currently, I have around 80 in the bank after my father cashes his check and after this payment on my credit card, and I intend to keep it in there the rest of the month.

On another topic, I checked the calender; the 18th is on a Wedensday; we can plan for our day out on the 20th. We'll meet at the Starbucks by the China King Buffet, across from Fashion Square in the early afternoon, let's say 1:00. We'll hang out together, talk and all the fun stuff. We can walk about the mall (I'm open for your suggestions as well), and later we can go to the Downtown Mall's Pavillion for that week's Fridays After 5 Concert. Come after the fun, we'll see how you and I feel. My car is reliable, and I would like to be able to drive you around, so if you feel cool with that, you can have a friend or relative drop you off, and I will drive you back to your place at the end of our day. Please let me know your thoughts.

Also, from your photograph I still had saved on my PSP, I created a Mod of you in ModNation Racers (it is NOT Published, and I do not intend to publish it; it will remain ours alone). I'm attaching an in-game photo of it; please tell me how accurate I was of you (note, body shape is
not changable, I took a guess at Jeans and Sneakers for your lower-wear, and I was uncertain of your eye-color (I guessed brown)). But all things considered, I think I nailed your T-Shirt to a "T" with the sticker placements, as well as the tattoo on your right arm.

Please also let me know if you appreciate the gestures and things of you that I have shared with you.

I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 3, 2010 - 3:16pm

Hi Chris.

Uh, I'm not really sure where to start... I'm not sure you've really understood anything I've said.

Why are you spending $50 on PSN cards every month? You said that you have learned from the mistakes of your spending habits, but clearly you haven't if you are still dropping $50 a month on video games. How can you claim to have learned from your mistakes when you are choosing to spend all this money on games while you know you have a debt of HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS on a credit card that you know you shouldn't have? Honestly, I feel kind of bad for your parents, I think the fact that they relieved you of your debts previously taught you that it was okay for you to spend all you want because they'll clean up the mess when it all comes crashing down. If you really cared about them you wouldn't force them to do that repeatedly - yet you're choosing to ignore your debts while you still have a chance of taking care of them without your parents' help.

I guess I didn't spell it out exactly, but when I wanted you to sell ten games, I meant so you could get cash for them. Selling them for store credit so you can buy another video game isn't doing yourself any good at all. A regular game costs $60 these days, so what is the collector's edition going to cost? At least $80? Or more, maybe? I'm sorry sweetie, but for the purposes of my assignment that won't count. I want you to sell ten MORE video games, for cash this time. And that money is not to go to the purchase of any new video games.

Chris, you do understand the purpose of our talking about your video game addiction, right? The purpose is to end it. When I wanted you to sell ten games, I thought I was helping you transition slowly; I was thinking to myself "well, he has to get rid of ten games for now but he still has hundreds more he can play, we'll get to those in time as he becomes adjusted to the idea of getting rid of his games". I honestly didn't even consider the idea that you were still buying NEW video games, because given your situation that seemed so absurd that even though I know you're an addict, I thought you still understood better. You honestly had me fooled.

Thank you for the modnation character you made of me. Although honestly, it's just kind of a reminder of your addiction that even when you want to make a sweet gesture for me, you can't do it outside of video games. Aren't you an artist? Didn't you think of maybe drawing a picture of me? That would be much sweeter, if you did that for me.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 4, 2010 - 11:10am

I've been looking forward to LBP 2 for a while now, and the 50 dollars is just an allowance for me. More importantly, though, apparently the Trolls made an attempt at their Credit Fraud plan. They scheduled an early payment of the WHOLE THING from my checking account (Thank God it was rejected), but I was hit with an Insufficient Funds fee for a "Returned Item", yet I still had over 40 in the bank even after that 35. I had to go to the bank to sort it out, but it's getting straightened up for right now. Firstly, since I've found a good confession from them on their Forum, http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=58, I'm going to relay this to Rocky and Elizabeth, and I'm going to take this to my bank, and I'll tell my father about this credit card. He had to take it out of the Family Savings to pay off the past credit cards, and he says "were deep" in something there.

Anyway, while I'm digging myself out of this mess, I think we're in a good position to rat out the Trolls here, plus they are getting suspicious of a "Traitor" in their midst, but Thank God they do not suspect Junior yet.

I will Sell 10 games for money later, but right now, this is more important, and I promise to hand-draw a rendition of you later. But I need to confirm for my reference, what color are your eyes, do you wear pants (what kind if applicable) or a skirt or dress (and what color in general), and tell me about your shoes as well (sneakers, slippers, boots or what and color), please.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|August 4, 2010 - 12:31pm

Well, I just went to my bank to tell the manager of the information. She and I called the credit card company. Sadly, even though the first trial of the 770 dollar payment failed and was returned, which cost me the bank's fee of 35 dollars, a Second Trial of the payment collection from my bank is in process. So, even though THAT will fail too, I will be charged another 35 dollars for the Return Fee. On the bright side, the Trolls' plan of getting my PS3 Repoed WILL FAIL (Thank God), they have remotely stolen $70 from me. It's a small price to pay in comparison, but at least there is a chance the two Fees will be refunded to me in a week (less or so).

Meantime, I will try to look up a local Vintage Game Vendor who I can sell a bunch of my games off to, and Plan "B" is to sell Ten current-ish games for Cash.

*sigh*

Our day together around the 20th will continue as planned, and you and I will share a good time being together. I still need the info I requested in the last e-mail to make a great drawing of you for you. I need to rest a while. I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 4, 2010 - 1:42pm

Chris, I'm so sorry that happened... At least the payment won't go through, right? Sounds like you can get the fees reversed, though?

I read that forum post you linked me to. It says that they couldn't go through with it because their guy on the inside turned out not to be on the inside, he was fucking with the trolls? Like, he was trolling the trolls themselves. But something still happened... I wonder if it was just a freak coincidence that an error happened? Or maybe someone else not from that forum did it? I don't know Chris, it's freaky. But at least they haven't done any real damage.

So you're telling your dad about the card? The circumstances that caused this suck but at least you're coming clean to him, which was going to happen anyway. So he has to pay off the card? How does he feel about it? Is he really mad?

I hope you won't get another card again, Chris. This behavior really does have to stop. Not because of some hacker troll, but because you were digging yourself into a grave with your addiction. Maybe you should talk to your dad about managing all your spending from now on. Actually, I'd ask him if he would specifically keep an eye on your video game spending. Like, ask him to keep note of all your receipts and stuff. In fact, it might be a good idea if you ask him to hold onto your PS3 for a while. I think you probably spend more time on that system than any other, right? Maybe you should ask him to lock it away for a week or something, give you a chance to see what you can do with yourself when you don't have access to it.

I know things suck right now and you're probably feeling pretty down. But maybe forcing yourself to get up and go outside to do stuff will help you feel better. I think you should definitely try to go sell some video games this week like you originally planned. Maybe your dad would be touched if you sold some stuff and then gave him the cash you got as a partial repayment for his relieving you. You know, a little sign that you're trying to make up for your mistakes.

I'm kind of curious why you're talking to your church counselors about all this? I mean, isn't your dad already dealing with it with you? Like I've been saying, I think you should be talking to your counselors about your addiction problems. I mean, they're there to help you with your problems and imperfections, right? I don't get how they can help you deal with this bank thing. Besides, if they had known previously about your card that you couldn't pay off, they probably would have told you to come clean with your dad in the first place.

Well, anyway, my eyes are green. I usually wear jeans and flipflops, I have a bunch in different colors, nothing fancy. I'd love to see you do a drawing of me, but get to it when you can, I know you have other stuff to deal with.

Take care, and let me know what's going on.

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|August 4, 2010 - 6:28pm

Green Eyes and FlipFlops; at least I was right on the Jeans. I got it now.

Getting the fees reFunded is a problem, it requires approval from not only the local bank manager, but also major edits/tweaks in the computers. I am in, though, on the ID Fraud Protection Plus Plan (Free for me, Thank God), and also I am in on the "Opt Out" Plan, which if a Transaction, Online or Real Life, Would put me into the Red, the charge would be automatically Declined. The Opt Out goes into effect starting on the 16th of this month.

I have informed my mother about the Credit Card first (she is more calm than dad is); I have asked her to relay the news to him. I feel if I do it myself right-off, he'll not only get super angry and raise his voice to Loud Shouts, but it would just put me into a state where I may as well be lying cowardly on the floor in the fetal position. This way, he gets his anger out into the air only (mom would leave the room during the time), and he'll have time to recover and calm down before confronting me about it (not as loudly).

My father is currently monitoring my bank account; he asks for a bi-daily printout of the current online statement information and any pending transactions. Your suggestions of having him lock up my console for a week and such have been noted into my memory; I am not saying it is a bad idea, I'm just not comfortable with it.

Sweetheart, after this whole experience, I Swear on my Aunt Corina Weston Inge's Grave that I will NEVER apply for a Credit Card EVER again.

Giving dad the money I get from the game sales is a good idea, yet I would like to wait until this whole mess clears up, and I am fully certain I have over 50 dollars in the bank after the clear-up beforehand. I will sell the number of games shortly enough, at least by Friday of next week.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|August 4, 2010 - 7:06pm

Hi Chris.

That's okay, you can wait til next week if you want to sell some games. You've got enough going on right now.

I know you aren't comfortable with the idea of him taking your console, but I think it might be a good idea for you. Sometimes we can't grow unless we force ourselves to endure a situation where we aren't as comfortable as we would like, it makes us stronger through adversity. I think you should really consider it. Even maybe just to be prepared for it, because it's possible your dad might decide on his own to take it away for a bit, if he feels you can't be trusted with the PSN purchases. But try not to worry about it for now. I'm glad you're sworn off credit cards. They can be death traps for even the most resolute and strong-willed of people.

I can't remember if I asked, but when does the new Wal-Mart open? Have you been able to talk to anyone over there about it yet? I'm excited to see what you find out about it.

Chris, overall, I'm actually pretty impressed with you and how you have been handling this situation. Even though this is a very tough time for you, you seem like you're staying pretty calm and keeping a cool head about how to deal with it. I just want to let you know that I am proud of that and you deserve some recognition for it. ;)

I'll write more later (and can't wait to see your drawing of me :),

XOXO

Jackie}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 6

2010-11-06T05:27:02Z

Lime: Adding category.

{{Email|July 28, 2010 - 2:12pm

Oh, you saw Pink Flamingos! I really like how all the characters were just such terrible people, Babs was fighting a war to be the worst person in the world, it was great. John Waters can go sooo out there when he wants to, he's so quirky. Here's a cool picture I found of Divine and John Waters together, that's Divine without his makeup. Doesn't he look totally different? My uncle actually looks a little bit like him, he's got that kind of roly-poly charm to him. I'm glad that you're opening up to homosexual artists like that, it's so good that you're seeking to open your mind and expand your horizons. There's a lot of really cool movies, music, literature, and artwork out there by some very talented people. Also, since you liked that I have another movie you might get into: It's called Cannibal Holocaust, it was directed by a guy named Ruggero Deodato, it's kind of an over-the-top satire in the same way Pink Flamingos is. I think you'd like it.

I'm not sure that I want to post under your name, I don't think it would be wise to have two people writing under the same name, even though I could post under your name they would probably notice the change in IP and get suspicious, so I think you should do most of the writing. But I might log in to your account just so I can look around and keep an eye on things, that way I can observe directly. But I probably won't do anything with it.

That's really cool that you could tell me your fantasy like that! When I mentioned anal sex I was thinking of, you know, being the receptive partner, I've never thought about wearing a strap-on or anything like that, but I could definitely keep my mind open. What do you think about the other way around, though?

Hey, do you have an AIM name? I'm not on all the time but it might be cool if we could talk on instant messenger. I seem to usually be around during the evenings these days, most of my driving is in the morning. My username is my email, <>. Let me know!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:40pm

Firstly, let me inform you that I've got Junior's ball(s) rolling on the forum, http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=579#579. I understand the IP address scenario, but anything you can find that I may have missed on there, I would appreciate being informed about. I have found nothing on the current Credit Fraud plan yet. Plus, I'm feeling a bit tired; I'll be taking a rest in a bit.

Of course I would give you the Anal Pleasure myself, and I am glad you liked my idea of the strap-on for you too. A couple of other items I've recalled that I'd like to try include bondage and/or punishment, and in the tub or shower.

I get shocked at cannibalism, and it's not my thing, but I will check out "Cannibal Holocaust" anyway. Also, there was no picture attached to the e-mail, nor a link to one.

And I am not on the internet that much to IM, so let's just leave it to e-mail for now, unless you've got a monthly cell-phone plan upgrade from the pay-as-you-go plan, then we can talk over the phone. :)

Other current topics of my interest, the ModNation people upgraded the XP distribution for More Points given, so the final Two Trophies of "250,000 Create XP Points" and "XP Level 30", followed by the Platinum Trophy are closer in my grasp.

And I've gone through my DVD collection and sorted out about 20 of them earlier to sell; I went to a few local Pawn Shops, but they're not accepting DVDs nowadays. They have too many, and considering them obsolete. :( Fortunately, I later remembered Plan 9, and they took 3/4 of my DVD bunch, giving me about $23 in cash. It's a start in the right direction for me anyway. :)

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet.
Thinking of you. XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 28 2010 - 3:53pm

Whoops! Sorry, I forgot to attach the picture of John Waters and Divine. Here they both are. Doesn't Divine have just the cutest cheeks?

I'll keep bumming around the forum when I'm able, I'm kind of tired right now so I might not do anything before tonight at the earliest anyway. Let me know if you find anything.

There's not really a whole lot of actual cannibalism in Cannibal Holocaust, there's a lot more to it, the name is kind of misleading. I think you'll like it!

I'm curious, what got you interested into anal sex? I think when the guy receives it with a strap-on it's called "pegging". Most guys aren't into that sort of thing, what attracts you to the idea? And what do you mean about the strap-on not being "penis-shaped", a strap-on would kind of have to be shaped like a penis by definition, wouldn't it? I've never seen one that isn't.

So you're selling your DVDs? That's cool, I used to have a bunch of DVDs but I never watched them so I got rid of them a few years ago, got a few bucks for them. Are you trying to save up your money for something?

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 29, 2010 - 6:52pm

Actually, there are some strap-on dildos that are Not penis-shaped. I offer an example from adameve.com, http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/strap-on-sex-toys/sp-lucid-dream-harness-dong-35822.aspx. They even offer Strapless Strap-Ons, http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/strap-on-sex-toys/sp-gal-pal-strapless-strap-on-dildo-35824.aspx. You can view further into their list of available Strap-Ons, and dildos, for more non penis-shaped dildos/strap-ons.

As for what turned me onto the idea was watching women doing it for themselves in some of the porn I watched. I tried it myself with just my fingers, and it felt alright to me, especially recently. Over a year ago, I had tried it with the "famed" white dildo I later video-recorded breaking apart (the seal keeping the two pieces of plastic together was really though, but I managed to cut through the glue and unscrew the two pieces. Even removed and kept undamaged the motor inside that shaft). And a little later, I did receive ONE set of anal beads for free from a past order from adameve.com; I shoved them up my ass. I did not really get the idea behind them then, so that was a waste of time then. Recently, I learned that anal beads, or ben-wa balls, are to be left up the ass (and/or vagina for women), and the stimulation would be felt upon walking movement (found the info on Wikipedia). And a last straw that broke me from anal stimulation for months was the Blackmail from one of the major trolls; wanted me to shove my 2nd hand-crafted medal up my ass. And the later video showed, I cut it up into pieces and shoved each piece one at a time up my ass. I later expelled them into the toilet. There were a number of rough portions from the cut edges that made it quite uncomfortable for me during the time the pieces were up in there. But I have recovered from that ordeal, and I am good to go for anal play from my lady friend, you. :)

I was selling the DVDs in a trial at the Otakon, and with the at-the-door fee being $75, and my family being against me going there ("Walking into the Trolls' Lair" paranoia), it was not meant to be for me to be there this year. But at least I tried, and on the good hand, I cleared up some shelf space, and got some green from it.

Thanks for the photo of "Divine" and John; IMHO, "Divine" looked a LOT better with the makeup and wig. The face was weird for me when I saw it. But after a moment of composure, I took another look; you are right, his cheeks are okay.

Currently, I'm contemplating on Junior's first "Chris Chan" expose on the Fourm, or a topic to get them to talk of their plan. I would like your opinion of what "Junior" should do next on there, please.

Also, and this is Confidential; keep it OFF of the internet, but you recall me applying for a job at the new Wal-Mart I've told you about previously. Well, the building was open for people to "Apply Within" for Hiring, so I went there earlier today to check on the status of my online application. It is on file, it is good until April 14, and the head people there will call me next week for an interview on my home phone. So, while it is looking good, a prayer for my getting a job there would be appreciated. I will be planning to work 28 hours a week; having previously figured that I can earn up to $980 a month and keep my S.S.I. (monthly tugboat).

In any case, I should still be able to spend the day with you when we meet in August and afford to treat you then. If any schedule change comes up from Wal-Mart, I will let you know.

Again, the planned meeting location will be at the Starbucks by the China King Buffet, across from Fashion Square Mall. And I still await for the date of your return arrival.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 29, 2010 - 7:56pm

Yeah, I remember I read about the video where you shoved that medallion up your ass, didn't they give you the option of burning it instead? It just seems like it would have been safer if you had burned it, you could have injured yourself. Oh well, no harm done now, I suppose. So you've tried using a dildo and anal beads? Wow, you're pretty experienced with it. I was wondering, what exactly do you use to keep... clean, you know? And what kind of lubricant do you use? I know anal play can be dangerous if you don't properly lubricate.

I really don't get why you think going to Otakon would be "walking into the trolls' lair". I mean, I know there will probably be trolls there, but really, you should just man up and go and accept the risk of being called out or something. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, some stupid troll shouts an insult at you? This is a great opportunity for you to have a new and fun experience, and you'll have a lot more fun if you go there than if you just stay home. I'd really love for you to go to Otakon and be able to tell me all about what happened and what a great time you have.

I mean, if you REALLY wanted to go, couldn't you just get in your car and drive there? Or take a greyhound bus or something if you're worried about driving your car long distances? What exactly would your parents do if you did? You're not a little kid, they can't punish you. But it kind of sounds like you didn't really want to go though anyway. I wish you wanted to do something more exciting for once, but I guess it's up to you. In fact, I was thinking of trying to stop over in Baltimore to see if I could meet up with you; I was going through that area eventually anyway, but if you just don't feel like going, I guess I won't change my pre-planned schedule.

But I digress. Good luck with the Wal-Mart job! I'll keep quiet about it. I'll be praying for you to get it. But if you get a job, why would you still need your social security? I mean, that money is really for people who aren't able to work, so it kind of defeats the purpose for you to keep it if you're working. Hey I'm curious, why do you call it a "tugboat"?

As for the troll forum, I haven't had much time today to look at it, so I haven't seen much. I would recommend you just make some innoccuous posts first, just get yourself involved in the community. You say "Junior" is across the street from your house, right? I found this thread: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=67&sid=4f8dcb2b6c216aa8b7d44b522a5fd9ba. It's about that girl you were friends with named <wallflower first name>, the guy who started it is writing stuff about her, maybe you could sneak in and unbalance it a little since you knew <wallflower first name>? Also, I saw one guy on the forum suggested you get some info on Chris or maybe some pictures since you're so close, like Junior could pretend to become your friend or something. You could try going with that, just an idea. I'll think more later when I have time.

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 30, 2010 - 10:40am

I do not think I'm as experienced with anal-play as you think; I don't do that as often as I masturbate. I would wash anything that goes up my ass with soap, water and a washcloth; keeping in mind that I would use only solid items, nothing gel or jelly-like, in that sense (easier to clean). KY Jelly is my choice lubricant, although I mostly use it to lube up my penis for masturbation sometimes.

The paranoia of the trolls at the Otakon is really of my parents. And I just can not afford the trip, financially, at this time. And mom and dad threatened to call the Police on me, cut off the food money they give me daily and change all of the locks on the house doors, if I drove myself out there or whatever. They literally called the police on me when I drove to Cleveland (as a Missing Person report then).

IMHO, having Seinor Citizens for Parents throughout your whole life is no picnic; they are WORSE Overprotective. I mean, my father was well over 50 when I was born, and my mom was just over 40. I wish my parents were younger by about 20 years, then maybe they would have been more helpful, social, understanding and cool. I appreciate for everything they have done for me throughout my life, yet now as an adult, I get a bunch of tough, raw deals. One reason why I need a girlfriend is so I can hang out with her and get away from my parents for an extended time without worry.

I have contemplated the idea of Junior and me being buds, but I still have to think further in how that would work. I will, however, take your good idea of harmless posts for the time being. Thank you for your valued input.

Between having the SSI and the money from the job, I would make well over 1500 a month together; I do not think anyone at Wal-Mart (below Manager-like positions) would make that much a month, so it works for the better. And I use the term, "Tugboat", in reference to the expression, "Our ship has come in", which is in reference to a HUGE amount of money coming your way. The "ship" is defined normally as a Luxury Cruise Ship, yet it can either come in without trouble, or more likely Sink and Fail. A Tugboat is More Reliable, and it comes in at a scheduled time per trip. A tugboat is less likely to sink, because it is built more durably than a cruise ship. And that is why I call my monthly SSI income my monthly Tugboat.

Which makes me feel blessed to have you back, giving me a second chance for us together in our relationship and romance. It would be a terrible shock and major hurt for me if I lost you again.

I need to recover for now, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet. I care deeply about you.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Love and Peace,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 30, 2010 - 6:25pm

Hey Chris!

You know, there's a few things that make me feel a little sad about what you write here. You say that your parents would call the police on you if you went to Otakon? I understand if they did that before if they didn't know where you were when you went to Ohio, they were probably very worried if you just disappeared when they didn't expect you would do something like that. But there is no reason why they could call the police on you if you just told them you were going beforehand. Then they wouldn't have a reason to call the police because they'd know where you are. I understand how annoying it can be when parents are overprotective but if you want to be an adult you need to take on the responsibilities of an adult, and part of that means that you stand up for yourself and don't just be a pushover when your family gives you a hard time.

And you really didn't answer my question about why you would still need your social security. You say that if you were making $1500 a month, that would be doing better than all the other employees at your level, but isn't that just more of a reason why you DON'T need the social security? Just because it would be nice to have doesn't mean you need it, Chris. It would be nice if I got free money but I don't need to have it, and I'd feel bad about making people give it to me. And if you are already making like $800 a month on social security, why do you need your parents to give you food money? Isn't it YOUR money? And you could just move out if you didn't want to be under their yoke.

And what makes me really saddest of all is that you say you need a girlfriend to help you get away from your parents. But if your parents won't let you go to Otakon, what if they don't let you have a girlfriend? What if when we meet they decide they don't like me or something? Are you just going to let me go because your dad threatens to take away your allowance? You have a LOT of video games you could have sold, Chris. I bet you've got quite a few that are still in demand that stores would pay good money for. But even if you had no games to sell, if you get $800 a month, and your parents give you free food and you don't have to pay rent, how could you not afford a little $75 ticket? And haven't you been planning to go to Otakon for months? I don't get what the challenge is supposed to have been. I think you really, really dropped the ball here Chris.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't mean to be. I am glad we're talking again too, I want to try to make it work. I just don't understand so much that's going on here, is all. I'd write more but I need to get going now so I'll write later. Well, tell me what you post on the troll forum. Have you had any more ideas for how to get information out of them? Let me know :)

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 31, 2010 - 10:52am

Firstly, you misunderstood what I had stated in my last e-mail.
First, I stated that I can make a maximum of $980 a month from a job, And Keep my S.S.I. of the current $820 a month. I did not state that I was going to make 1500 on the Job Alone. I stated that BETWEEN Both the Job And the S.S.I. Together, I would make over 1500. In this case, it would be 980 + 820 = up to 1800 in all. Without the S.S.I., the money from the job alone would be Well Less than 1500 a month. And consider I pay my father 480 a month, Plus 100 for paying him back for settling my Credit Card debts before. That would still leave me with between 200 and 300 from my S.S.I. On the job alone, after paying my father the monthly room/board + etc., it would be a Little More, but I could still do a lot better for Saving and such.

So, I'll put it upon you to consider, Jackie. Would you rather I kill my S.S.I. and make only a little over 1000 per month from the job alone? Or would you rather I Combine the Job And the S.S.I. and make Almost 2000, which is nearly double of the job alone? Less monthly expenses to be applied, of course.

Also, I would like to let you know that I was more capable of putting my answer to the question this time, because Last Time, it was AFTER I had informed you of the Cwcki and my Trolls, and I felt a LOT of Worry over losing you and our relationship from the Lucricities of what the Trolls were saying about me. And with the worry on my head weighing me down heavily, I felt soo blank in the mind, the financial question and such, as well as the misunderstandings, only made me feel Heavier Confusion, and I felt need a Lot of time to recover from that. Add all of the feelings I had for you then, I felt total mental chaos and chose the wrong way to approach it and get away.

I have felt a lot of regret from that mistake I made of leaving you, and I am really, really sorry about what I did then.

But now that you have blessed me with your return and the new chance at our relationship, I feel a whole lot better and more mentally stable. I thank you with my heart for this, Jackie. :)

Now, for the first paragraph topic of your e-mail, my mother and father HAD known about the Otakon for like a month beforehand. During that time they were cool about it, and I did have a plan laid out. But in early July here, I got a bit carried away with my impulsiveness, and not only spent the money planned to be set aside, but went into heavy overdraft. I thought my mom and dad would take it more calm, because I came to them honestly and openly, but no, they were angry and disappointed in me. They helped me out, and we got it all sorted out with the Overdraft fees Refunded.

As for the Otakon, I offered to my parents that I would earn the money back for the trip by looking for work, pawning or such. But they were soo against me from disappointment, that they then threatened Calling the Police without bailing me out of jail, Changing the locks on the house doors, and taking my car and my money away from me. I mean, even AFTER offering to earn the money back myself, they shot me down... I was disappointed in myself heavily too. All of this was cleared up about on the 12th of July, I got a refund of my pre-registration fee from the Otakon, less a couple of dollars, and things have settled down since then.

Before you contacted me again to renew our relationship, I was aiming towards selling myself out as a Male Escort to earn money. I tried applying with C-Ville's "Naughty & Nice" Escort Service; they did not take me. And I printed and discreetly passed out cards, along with posting an ad on escorts.com, under the new alias of "Carlos Chantor"(DO NOT Tell anyone else of my new alias). Nothing came from that; noone called me. And then I read your e-mails and talked to you again; I put that Last Resort of mine behind me and forgot about it. Because of you, I went back to bettering myself for you. I still remain untouched and unkissed.

Third Paragraph Topic: Firstly, my mom and dad Positively, Truly encourage me to have a Girlfriend, so that should not be a concern. I am positive my parents will like you, and I am Not going to let you go again, Ever. I do have a number of games, but I still have my attachments with them for now. Selling the DVDs recently was a First Step for me in that direction, so selling a number of the games will likely follow soon; just not right now. Monetarily-Wise, I have explained that in the upper paragraph: I DO pay my father a monthly wage, 580 a month currently, plus Confidentially, I got a new credit card that mom and dad do not know about that I'm paying 50 a month on, then there's Netflix and GameFly, and I was impulsive with my gaming addiction I'm working to get over early this month. *sigh* The Challenges for me here are practicing more self-control, being less impulsive... yada, yada, yada. It's all my own mental problems, putting the Damned Autism aside.

There are a number of things for me to understand as well here.

But all things aside, with my heart, I Want you and me, our relationship, to work too. You and I, we had a lot of match-ups between us on OKCupid. :) I am happy we're talking again too, and I am looking forward to our meet at the planned Starbucks next month. Jacklyn, Please come to me, show me your good feelings towards me, offer me a helping hand, and importantly, Please be mine and let me be yours. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOXO

Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 5

2010-11-06T05:25:05Z

Lime: Adding category.

{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 8:56pm

You are soo right, and I thank you too for understanding. :) I will create a video and upload it onto a YouTube account of "J.J."'s name within the next few days to get my foot in the door. I have total access to the e-mail account I used to create J.J.'s Cwcki account; I haven't figured which one it was yet; I have quite a few. Fortunately, I have them hand-written down, including passwords, on paper in my folder. I promise you, Jacklyn, that I will get within their inner circle.

But of course, we can find a number of other things to talk about. Like tell me about your trip so far; the places you been and seen within each state and whatnot.

**Confidentially** I've had my DSi linked with a new FlipNote Hatena account for a while; I was only banned from posting on my original account for a week (it was not permanent). I've just unlinked it from the new and went back to the old, erased all the original still-on/removed FlipNotes, and reuploaded the proper Original FlipNotes. I've left off the personal ones, such as the shout-outs, and the "Edit Me" one. The swimmers are clothed.

Another thought, you said you thought the way I danced that past Friday was cute. :) I was a bit drunk from a Bud, and the music was that good that day. Even sober, I can still dance as good. I'd like to dance with you eventually (and slowly). ;)

I gtg, but I want to hear about your trip in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Yay! I'm soo happy! Get in good with them, get niiice and comfortable, make them lower their guard. Then we'll figure out our next step! I'm so excited! :D :D :D
But I don't think a youtube will be a good idea, I'm sure your disguise will be good but you should take precautions anyway and not let it be publicly viewed. But did you see the message canine left on your jenkinsjinkies talk page? He said that you should put the video on mediafire or megaupload or whatever and send the link to his email, it's <>. (I'd like to see it too, though :)

But you're right, I've been on a trip all this time and we've barely been talking about it! I actually just got into upstate New York early this morning, I'm visiting my friend Heidi, I'm soo tired here. Heidi was my friend in grade school but went to a different high school and we lost touch, but then last year we discovered we had a class together! We've become so close since then, if I ever get married she's going to be my maid of honor. We spent most of today just lounging around talking because I'm so tired from driving, but tomorrow we're going around town and out to dinner and stuff. Toronto was fun but went by too fast. I'm spending the next few days here in New York, then we're going to visit another friend in Rhode Island, then coming back and heading down through Connecticut to visit ANOTHER friend. Long road trip... but rewarding.

Heidi has a DSi, she doesn't use flipnote but maybe I'll try it out while I'm with her. What's your new flipnote ID? I'd like to see your stuff. And you were tipsy during that dance? Aww, you're an adorable drunk, then :) I can't wait to see your moves sober, though, too.

Well, me and Heidi are going to go to bed, I'm exhausted. Talk to you tomorrow!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 25, 2010 - 11:00am

I have a small plan in my head on the troll issue for right now, but we'll wait and see how it fans out before going according fully to it.

That is very cool of you to find an old school friend. I've been waiting Ten Years, expectantly since my Senior Prom, for my High School's Class of 2000 Reunion. Yet here it is, Mid-2010, and I HEAR NOTHING of the Reunion. It makes me sad, because I haven't seen my gal friends since graduation, all the waiting and expecting for nothing, and worse off, I won't be able to return the favor of offering a dance to Tiffany Gowen. She Asked ME to dance with her at the Senior Prom; it was awesome of her to do that for me.

Anyway. The FlipNote Hatena ID is still "Sonichu", but the DSi Profile name DISPLAYED name is now "ChristianC". Same as before, more or less.

I'm feeling a bit sleepy at the moment. I'm gonna take a nap. Tell me more of your fun stories, please. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 25, 2010 - 12:50pm

Hey Chris. What's your plan? You've got me really curious about it. Tell me all about it! And do you have a disguise for the video yet? Maybe you could wear like a white sheet on your head like a ghost or something, simple but effective. Just one idea, I'm sure you have some too. And make sure to disguise your voice, just make it a low grumble, that'll do. Those trolls are stupid, they'll never catch on. After all, they were stupid enough to talk about their plans with me in that chatroom when they hadn't even confirmed who I am.

But nevertheless, I'm still a little worried, and I'll feel better once you've gotten in with them. If you get the evidence on them, you can get them sent to jail for this credit fraud stuff... but you have to act quick, because even though it's illegal, if they go forth with it the damage will be done and your Playstation 3 will be gone. Even when thieves and con-artists are caught, there's always a very low chance of the police finding the stuff they stole. Prevention is a lot better than cure here, Chris.

I don't think my school has 5-year reunions so I'll have to wait a while for my 10-year reunion. You should call up this Tiffany, sounds like she was a good friend in high school, she probably knows something about the reunion. Or maybe go to the high school itself, they can surely tell you something.

I'll write a little more later today. Let me know what's up when you wake up!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 26, 2010 - 7:55pm

Well, the plan is simple really. Firstly, I've already informed my church's Reverand, Elizabeth and Rocky of the incriminating information on the JenkinsJinkies Talk page of the plot for Credit Fraud. They will be informing our local detective at the P.D. shortly by forwarding him that information.

I have recorded the video earlier today, using a dark shirt covering my whole head (no glasses). I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.

Shortly, I will be creating a new e-mail address, followed by a Mega Upload account, for J.J., then I will inform the dude of the Cwcki of the video from J.J.'s e-mail address. Then it's pray time for getting IN from there. I shot in a different location, a decorated restroom at my local Goodwill.

Also, I don't have Tiffany's phone number, and I have searched online and could not find much current info on her (aside from what the Trolls are saying against her on the Cwcki).

What else has been good for you all in New York, New York?

"It's a wonderful town; the bronx is up and the battery's down; the people ride in a hole in the ground. New York, New York." That was a fun song from "On the Town" starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 26, 2010 - 8:10pm

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UM0F9TJQ}}

{{Email|July 26, 2010 - 8:42pm

Ooh, I like the video! Simple but effective. Good job getting that done today. But remember Chris, the purpose of getting in with the troll circle is to actually FIND evidence. You don't have evidence yet - the police won't be able to do anything with what's on the JenkinsJinkies talk page because no one has admitted to any wrongdoing there. In fact, nothing illegal is even at all suggested there, all the trolls say is that they "could go to jail" if they're found out, but that alone doesn't actually MEAN anything. So the cops will just turn that away. If you want to have something the cops can use, you need to get in and FIND something.

This is why I've been pushing you to do this Chris, because as things are now the cops won't have anything to go on. The cops aren't magic, they can't just arrest anyone simply because the person says something that sounds bad if it's not actually incriminating, which nothing you have so far is. So get in there and start schmoozing Chris, find out more of their information.

As for other stuff, you should try researching the class reunion itself maybe, Tiffany might not know anything either for all you know. And I'm not actually going into New York City, just staying upstate, close to Utica, actually.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:04pm

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Amanda Hugnkiss
To: <>
Sent: Mon, July 26, 2010 9:47:51 PM
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, thank you for your application. We get a lot of applications every day but Clyde says that yours is important so it's probably going first to the committee.

So you should hear our final decision tomorrow or so, before 10 AM EST or so.
LULZ,
Melinda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:05pm

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Amanda Hugnkiss
To: <>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 9:44:59 AM
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, the application committee has decided to tentatively approve you. They still have some questions but they say they can permit you into our forums.

http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com

Your username is jenkinsjinkies and your password is <>

Feel free to change these.

Go and post and get involved in the community. You have to cozy up to these people and let them know who you are. If you piss them off they might get the committee to reject you. Introduce yourself, you know. Clyde wants you to do well.

Anyway, I'm about to crash into slumber from drinking all night, you know how it is.
LULZ,
Miranda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:20pm

I understand what you're saying. I will get into the groove beforehand, so I can do good; a whole self-mindtweaking if you will. Giddy-up! I'm in. I've just forwarded you the two response e-mails from J.J.'s Yahoo account, so they ARE from me. I'll log in tomorrow to get started, after I've gotten into the groove.

You know Jackie, but on the way to film the video, I thought of more to J.J.'s background. Such as his "Real Name" being Junior Jenkins. And that he had a gay experience at summer camp at 7; he was not thrilled with it afterwards. Years later, he has two dude friends who are gay, but he keeps them at bay with his straightness. Although, curious at 14, he asks one of them to do him one night, so that happened. And at the end, he was Terribly NOT Thrilled at all; to go into extensive details, he Came and Threw Up Simultaneously. Definitely Straight. I even felt like I was going to throw up myself from imagining the whole thing. I also came up with his birthday being on July 16, as well as a few other stories from when he hitch-hiked from Boston to Ruckersville, VA. I have him crashin' at a house across from mine, where he has relatives who are the "Black Sheep" of the family.

To change the subject a bit, and to throw good news that I feel good about, I've alerted everyone on GameFAQs.com of my Sonichu and Rosechu Merchandise in ModNation Racers, but I've also Contributed Uploaded In-Game Photos of my good stuff; they are ALL there in their own Category. I invite you to check them out and download at your leisure.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/images

I'll check in with you later, Jackie.

Y'all Stay Safe and Sweet.
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 27, 2010 - 8:43pm

Hey Chris! I got your messages from your yahoo account. I can't wait to see what you post on there! It seems like those trolls are pretty excited to get "Jinkies" onto their forum so you shouldn't have trouble introducing yourself. Keep me informed of what they say and we can talk about what direction to go.

That's a pretty detailed story that you came up with. It's funny you say Junior's birthday is July 16, that's my dad's birthday! Where did you get the inspiration for that whole story? Do you know someone that something like that happened to?

Hey, since we're on the subject of sex... I'm kind of curious, but do you have any sexual fantasies? Like, specific fantasies? I know we should take things slow, but I think a person's sexual fantasies are an intimate way of getting to know who a person really is.

Like, my fantasy is this... I'm very curious about anal sex. I've never done it but I wonder a lot what it would be like. I've only told a few of my close girlfriends about that, Do you have anything like that? :)

Anyway, I took a look at your modnation racer stuff, I can't download because I don't have the game but I like the stuff you made. Your Sonichu car is very cute :)

Write more later,

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:49am

I've just finished watching "Pink Flamingos" twice (with Director, John Waters', Commentary during second watch). All things considered, it is a comical flick, and I was able to enjoy it (even though I averted my gaze in the dick shots and that part with the dude at Babs' party while they played "Surfing Bird" in the background. Obviously John is gay, but I did not hold it against him in listening to his opinions. I felt sorry for the chicken that was killed, but then I learned it was a chicken that was going to be killed anyway. I also saw something else in that movie, the heavy topic of being Trolled like Babs was, yet justice WAS done to the Trolls (The Marbles) in the end.

I'll log in later to talk with the trolls. We'll see what info I can dig up. You have the password info as well, so you're welcome to pretend too, just keep it between 7 PM and 6 AM, please.

Mostly, I made up the stories behind Junior, including this one. Although I did get the ray of inspiration from remembering Peter's Parrot in that one episode of "Family Guy" that repeats "I had a gay experience at camp".

I've had the question of sexual fantasies posed to me before, and there are a few. One is having sex in a swimming pool (to emulate a dream I had of being lost in a water-filled labyrinth where I was intercepted by a woman and we made out and had sex). I am game for anal sex, as long as you're my partner, and you wore a strap-on or used a butt-plug in me (as long as it is not penis-shaped). I also would like oral sex, swing set, pole dancing (me, you or both at once), three-way (with two women), role-play, and others I can't remember right now. Feel free to suggest other sex-play topics, and I'll let you know if it's cool with me or not.

It's no problem; we're not having sex yet, so we can talk about it freely; you and I are close (metaphorically until we meet in person when we'll be a LOT closer). ;) You turn me on with your kindness and understanding, and your pretty self adds well to it. I want to kiss you, Jackie.

For now, it's a compliment, but don't hold back when after we hang out for a while and you want to kiss me too.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Sweet and Safe,
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:55am

I forgot something

XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

:)}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 3

2010-11-06T05:24:14Z

Lime:

{{Email|July 1, 2010 - 12:16pm
Why exactly are you making a "shout out" to me in your flipnote cartoon? Why would you keep bringing me up given that you decided a long time ago that dealing with me was too much work for you?

For that matter, I wonder why you draw your silly Sonichu on these flipnotes, but when I asked you to work on your actual comic for me you ignored that too.

I just don't get why you would shout out to a girl who wasn't worth your time when you had her. I hope it isn't some ploy to convince other girls that you care about them, because they'll always be able to ask me if they want to know what your REAL priorities are. Hypocrite.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 2, 2010 - 11:25am
How do you think I feel? I still feel very sorry about what had happened. Every Woman who I have been close to, Including You, always will have a place in my heart. It was a gesture of goodwill that I mention you alongside <Wallflower first name>.

Pardon me for Caring and having a Heart.

Have a good and safe day,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 2, 2010 - 7:04pm
Chris,

I guess you're right. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I guess emotions are just running high for me. I guess that's evidence that I just felt so torn by everything that happened. But I still think about you sometimes, and wonder about what could have been. How are you doing?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 6, 2010 - 4:07pm

It's okay, I do not blame you; it was my errors. I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such.

I'm doing okay; I get lonely sometimes (the whole not having a girlfriend thing and whatnot). And I have gone out and try, try and try again to meet new people, but I still get held back with fear of rejection keeping me from approaching women. And I still have my
mental hang-ups against the majority of the male population; the trolls were not much help either.

I have few friends/acquaintances in real life, and I refuse to start any new relationships over the internet (I feel paranoia over that as well). Without my needed-to-see-a-far-distance glasses, I know that I have a handsome face; if there really are any single women in C-Ville, I feel they would have seen me and at least say hey. But I am constantly unoticed in public; it makes me feel sad knowing that I am invisible even in the mass-public events I've been hanging around in (such as the local Fridays After 5).

Obviously I need people to come to me and they make first contact, because even with my drunken word-vomit shouts, I'm still invisible. My adult life sucks.

Things could be better for me, and I really wish my A.L. IS better.

Have a good and safe day. TTYL,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 7, 2010 8:34pm
How sad! I'm so sorry things have been difficult for you. I can understand being wary of online relationships. You never really know what's going on on the other end. But you know Chris, while I am out of state most of the summer... I will, however, be in Charlottesville around the second week of August. I don't want to rush into anything, especially after our recent fight but… maybe you'd like to meet to talk or something? We could play it by ear and see what happens… :) I always did care about you Chris. I think… more then I ever have for someone else. I don't want to give up on you, on us. Just hanging out would be enough for me.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 7, 2010 - 9:38pm

Thank you for your concern. :) I accept your offer to hang out the second week of August; it will be good to see how we would feel in each other's company. Please let me know the date(s) when you'll be in town when you have that, and we can schedule a meet maybe at Fashion Square, the Downtown Mall or somewhere.

:-*

XOXOXO
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 8, 2010 - 8:53pm
Great! I don't know all the details yet of my return but I'll keep you posted. What else is going on with you these days?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 4:24pm

I pray you're doing good. I'm faring out okay. I've been thinking of you and looking forward to our time together in August. I will do my best to show you a good and pleasant time. I feel happy we can put that mess behind us and start again on good feelings. I really want you and me to do good together. I've attached a more current photo of myself; may I have one of you in return, please?

I'll check in again later.
Stay sweet and safe,
XOXOXOXO
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 4:26pm

My mistake, this one is more current.}}

{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 5:11pm

Hey Chris! I was wondering when I'd hear back from you. I'll attach a pic of me for you.

So what's been going on with you this summer? Been a while since we talked. I'm sooo glad to be done with school for the summer, I've been travelling around visiting some friends of mine in their home cities, driving cross-country, so on; it's hectic but a nice change from all that schoolwork. Like I said, coming back in early August (but still not sure on the day).

So what about you? What ever happened with that website about you? I figure they gave up and went away by now, you know those trolls have such short attention spans. What's going on with your comic? How is your family doing? Anything else going on?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 5:27pm

I've read again the e-mails from you I had saved from way back then. You and I, we really did have a good connection, and I still feel the same about you as I did then. I Really want the relationship between you and me to work.

Let me update you a bit about myself. I've ended up taking down the whole Cwcipedia, because of the Trolls' influences and trouble-makings. So, currently, the ONLY things on the internet about me Actually from me are my YouTube, and my Twitter (when I update it). I have been trying to find peace away from the trolls. I've taken a hiatus on the comics until I find again the peace from the trolls and the inspiration. I've been more focused on real life trying to meet new people and make new friends. Recently, I've made a few new friendly acquaintances after a drink at TGIF in Forest Lakes. But before then, it's been same-old, same-old; lonely and crestfallen, leaning on my video games for comfort. I was going to go to the Otakon Anime Convention this month, but finances recently went terribly askew within the past week or two. I ended up with disappointed parents, and I was disappointed in myself.

More often, I have been doing good on the self-control and less spending, yet sometimes my impulses hit me while I am feeling emotionally weak. And on the FlipNote Hatena, the Trolls Falsely Reported my FlipNotes with Three False Descriptions each. I ended up suspended from Posting new FlipNotes onto the Hatena for a week, even to access it from my DSi's FlipNote Studio App. After the week was over, and I was able to again access the Hatena from my DSi, I had previously unlinked my DSi from my past account and relinked it to a New account with a different name. Thank God the Trolls nor anyone else have found my new account or reposted F.N.s in the Practice Channel; they appear as Spin-Offs from my original account, even though those same Original F.N.s are mostly Still Locked from remixing and spin-offing.

I have also been working in ModNation Racers, unlocking EVERY Tool to best recreate my Cwcville Track I had created originally in the limited-time Beta, along with a 2.0 Version of the Track. I will be creating a Final, BEST version of the Track, where it will be like you're actually driving from the Mall, through the Suburbs, and the City and Back again. Followed by a set of tracks for Around Cwcville, including a Race through the Park, Cwcville Forest, the Mountains, and the Beach (with probably a drive through Bubbles' Undersea Area if I can swing it). I also have created Official Sonichu and Rosechu Mods/Karts, along with recreated favored Hot Wheels cars from my collection, my favorite Childhood Playskool First Transformer Race Carcomplete with eyes-only driver, and an inspired Carriage that states that I enjoy Pretty Toys and Femenine Things like Tea parties, yet "IAM STILL A TOUGH, HETEROSEXUAL MAN, DAMMIT!" I got the idea from another MNR player, who I added later as a friend, who created a rainbow-colored van that states, "I'M NOT GAY, I JUST ENJOY RAINBOWS(and UNICORNS)". He and I also shared a conversation in which he was a great listener; I later thanked him for being a good friend to me by sending him an extra PSN Code for the Kratos and Gopher Mods/Karts Ihad got for free. :)

Going back to the Trolls, they still come after me in real life, looking to snap photographs of me wherever I am away from my house if they're there at the same time; looking for some "juicy footage" they can misinterpret and misdetail in their own sick ways. They get posted on the damn Cwcki, where such "footage of the Gay Trucker will be rewarded with 'China' and/or 'Pickles'"; it really ticks me off. <nowiki>|</nowiki>:(

And I finally was able to apply for a job at the New Wal-Mart in Ruckersville Online about a week ago; it took a while before the correct store address was added onto the website. So, I'm hoping they'll call me back to hire me. :)

But enough about me. What have you been up to during the summer months now; still working the part-time school paper? Have you been getting good grades in your courses towards Journalism? Are you still playing piano, football, your dad's car talk and enjoying the Crash Test Dummies? And how are your family and roomates doing as well?

We have a lot to catch up on between you and me. :)

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 6:25pm

Hey, Chris!

I went to look around at the cwcki. It looks like they've been following you at that Fridays After Five place? Seems weird that they want to just get pictures of you there. I did see the video they made where you're dancing to the music though, looks kind of cute :) But you weren't kidding when you said they're following you around everywhere - I saw they have an article on the "coffee place", the picture shows it's a Burger King. That is the one you go to! I can't believe they could sneak in so close to you and do that! Do you know who might have taken that picture?

I don't suppose you have an account there, do you? I think you can just sign up and they let you in. You could try removing some stuff that you don't like, or something, I don't know. Do you have any ideas?

It's good that you're cutting down on the video game spending, that stuff can suck you in if you aren't careful. But you're playing Modnation racers? I've heard of that game, but haven't tried it. You're making Sonichu-themed stuff in it? I hope that helps to give you inspiration for drawing. It really sucks if you can't go to Otakon, I've heard that's a fun place. Are you sure you can't go? I think it'd be a really fun experience for you. I'd love to hear about it if you did.

Like I said, I've spent the summer driving state to state visiting friends, I'm in Michigan right now. Never really done that, traveling so much like that, I'm glad I got the chance to. Working at the paper is fun but I'm definitely taking time off for now. That's great about applying at Wal-Mart, let me know how that goes!

This is nice, I like talking to you again :)

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 18, 2010 - 7:05pm

I'm happy that you're happy talking to me again. :)

As for the Cwcki and Burger King, That was my doing, actually. Long-story short, there was a bitchey employee giving me and my father a hard time that day, as well as a few other times on previous other days and times (on an estimated 3/10 ratio). My father was really ticked off at her, Literally Told me to Troll her, while I was also angry at her, so I took that picture with my DSi's inner camera and started that page as "JenkinsJinkies". I also thought the page would lure the Trolls out there, so I can catch them in the act and take their photos, lecture them and/or kick their ass(es). Obviously they did not come out there, but the "14-year old Middle Child of Boston with Grandparents in South Virginia" earned Clyde Cash's Trust and Support. I later consulted with Rocky (the Pastoral Counsoler of my church); both of which see no point of taking their picture back for a) even provided to the Police, they would not be able to nail them for Legally Taking Photographs. And b) even in a blackmail attempt, NONE of the Trolls would give a rat's ass on what each of their own kind looks like in real life. And Rocky insisted I wait for Police Instruction to go Undercover and lure them out.

I am trusting you with this Confidential Information of "JenkinsJinkies"; please do not tell anyone else about it.

Also, to remove content in huge chunks would be too obvious, and then at least Clyde would be like, "Oh, HE is Obviously Chrissy; BLOCK HIM. I am sorry for ever trusting him." And at the moment, I am short on ideas, and I'd just assume ignore them; stuff is being deleted for lack of new information anyway. I lured out one last Friday at the Pavillion, obviously. I SHOULD have gone after him in pursuit, but the only plan I had programmed in my head in response is take their picture with my DSi. I have reprogrammed my mind to pursue after lure, yell for a policeman, and have him arrested for Taking Photographs at the Pavillion during Fridays After 5. On their Triangular, Red Column, they have a rules list, which includes, "No Cameras or Videotaping are Permitted". I am positive I'll lure out the same guy from Last Friday; I only got a brief look at his face, but I am positive I'd recognize him on future sight.

Something else I haven't told you yet, I have been collecting the State Quarters after my Aunt Herriet sent me a USA Quarter Map, with slots for each of the 50 quarters, for a present years ago. I have it tacked near my bedroom door, so I can point out Michigan and see how far you are from home. :)

You and yours stay safe on the trip. :)

TTYL,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 18, 2010 - 7:44pm

Hey Chris,

That was you on the burger king thing? I had no clue. I get what you're trying to do though, nice and sneaky.

I agree with Rocky that just catching people taking photos wouldn't get anywhere, the police wouldn't be able to do anything. Honestly, I don't think the cops could do anything regardless, and even if you did get one photographer in trouble with the cops there would always be more with cameras. But I think there are some other things you can do.

Your secret is safe with me about JenkinsJinkies. I read the talk page, looks like you have them hook line and sinker. But it also looks like they're giving you an in, have you read it? That asperchu comic guy is making fun of you for taking time off of your comic for inspiration (now that I read more of his writing, he seems like kind of a major asshole), but also the trolls say that they're giving you an opportunity to get inside their hidden website and get all their codes and stuff. More than just that, you can get access to their plans. You know if you could get that stuff, you could probably nuke their whole website, without that the trolls would have nowhere to go.

Some guy named "canine" (who names themselves after a dog? How dumb) said that they want you to make a secret video for them, but since "JenkinsJinkies" says he is afraid of your wrath, they'll let you wear a mask, so you can conceal your identity!I kind of think that's the best way to go, because like I say even if the cops bust one troll there are a million more around the corner, but if you mess up their base of operations they'll all lose power.

I'll stay safe on my trip, don't worry :) I'm leaving Michigan tomorrow, going to drive through Canada for a little bit actually, go to Toronto. But I still get email on my phone so we can still talk. Write back soon :)

Jackie}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 4

2010-11-06T05:23:13Z

Lime: Adding category.

This page features emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] in late [[July 2010]].

{{Email|July 20, 2010 - 6:00pm

Hey Chris, just wondering if you got my email? I kind of wish you would check in with me shortly after I reply; I know you're probably busy plotting the [[cwcki]]'s demise but it only takes a couple minutes and I give you the same courtesy.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 20, 2010 - 7:24pm

Hey, Jackie. I apologize for not replying sooner; I had a busy yesterday; I had a doctor's appointment, a meeting with [[Rocky]], and a few other errands; I hadn't a chance to check my e-mail yesterday. I will make time to check my e-mail more daily.

Also, that is very interesting about the Cwcki, "J.J." will have to take them up on their inside-info offer. ;)

Canada is a good place, I hear, especially Toronto. I look forward to seeing the photos from your trip later on.

I went out to Food Lion earlier today for some more [[cat]] food today, then I noticed that the next-door Movie Gallery (been working on clearing themselves out for Going Out of Business); up to 90% Off their stuff. They're on their Last 3 Days from today, so I estimate that their last day will be either Friday or Saturday. I bought a Blu-Ray movie I rented before that was a good one, "[[Wikipedia:Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist|Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist]]", for $2.99. In case you haven't seen it, it's a story of a boy and his crew going on the road in pursuit of a hard-to-find band. The girl at first sides with the boy to pretend he was her boyfriend, then she follows them on their trip on the common goal. Throughout the movie, the boy and girl catch feelings towards each other; it is fun and sweet. :)

I'm not sure, but have we talked before of favorite movies between us? Mine is "[[Mary Poppins]]"; I also enjoyed "[[Cole Smithey|Toy Story]]". I also take in a dash of heavy action, horror and such. I've seen [[Wikipedia:Saw (franchise)|all 6 "Saw" movies]]; once you've gotten used to the "Hollywood Magic" and understand that the blood and lost parts are all fake, the ONLY response you can look forward to from yourself is purely the surprise and suspense. I also remembered we talked a bit of the XXX [[porn]], but I won't go further into that until you feel cool talking about it.

The doctor's appointment yesterday was just a check-up; I get them every 4 months. The current blood work shows me [[Chris and health|healthy and well]]. I've been taking a prescription to keep my [[stress]] levels down since my teenage years (felt like almost forever). One month a year or so ago, I went without the paroxitine, because I did not fully grasp the reasons WHY I needed it. On the one hand, I did feel more confident without it, but on the other, I ended up feeling more stress attacks that really got to me. I felt a spot or two of chest pains from that. So I went back onto it after that month. I also take vitamins A, D3, Iron, Zinc and Fish Oil.

I'll wrap it up for now. I will continue to be thinking fondestly of you and counting the days to our meet.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 20, 2010 - 8:40pm

Hey Chris! No problem, I just like hearing from you. Sounds like you had a busy day. I haven't seen Nick and Nora but I heard good things about it. I've seen the first three saw movies but not the latter three; I'm not really a huge horror fan. My favorite movie of all time is probably "[[Pink Flamingoes|DivineTrial]]", it's a guilty pleasure of mine, you should really check it out.

So you take stress medication? So have you had like a medical condition or something? Like what kind of stress do you have that you need the medication for? I know someone who has a bad thyroid condition and needs medication every day or she could get a potentially fatal hormone imbalance, they actually didn't discover it until she was like 16, and the doctor at the time said her thyroid was all swollen up and she was lucky she hadn't already died from it. What kind of condition is yours? I really wish you could go to [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]] like you were planning, a nice trip like that would probably be good for you.

I can't wait to find out what happens when "J.J." does his video! Those fuckers have been around too long, but you can topple them if you get inside. It's gotten me all excited, so keep me appraised as stuff happens ;)

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 21, 2010 - 6:04pm

"[[Wikipedia:Pink Flamingos|Pink Flamingoes]]"; I will check that out (find a trailer on [[YouTube]], then add the movie to my [[Netflix]] Queue).

I've just heard the voice of the [[Wikipedia:Crash Test Dummies|C.T.D.]]; WOW! That's deeep. It got to me. I heard it on Napster and downloaded two tracks for free with props to [[My Coke Rewards|mycokerewards.com]]. I'll shortly enough get their "Best Of" Album CD from Plan9 or somewhere. For now, I have "[[Wikipedia:Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm|Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm]]" and "Paralyzed" (from their latest album, "[[Wikipedia:Oooh La La!|Oooh La La]]"). I enjoy recommendations from other people as well as my own choices. Of course, you know I like [[Britney Spears]] and [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|the Backstreet Boys]]. I also recommend songs from [[Wikipedia:Celtic Thunder|Celtic Thunder]] and [[Wikipedia:Celtic Woman|Celtic Women]], the [[Wikipedia:Planetshakers|Planetshakers]] ("Lift Up Your Eyes") and [[Wikipedia:Yngwie Malmsteen|Yngwie Malmsteen]]. Also, check out Tiga's "(Far From) Home", Galactic's "I Got It (What You Need)" and [[Wikipedia:Wyclef Jean|Wyclef Jean]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Carnival Vol. II: Memoirs of an Immigrant|Fast Car]]". I've got a big playlist. :)

I take the medication for [[Stress]] in General; no fancy names or such. But as I have stated earlier, the [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paroxitine]] does keep my [[stress]] levels down; if not for it, I probably would have [[death|died]] sooner from stress.

Another detail that has slipped my mind, and lost in the e-mails somewhere, how old are you (I'm uncertain; was it 19 or 22) again?

Also, let's go ahead and decided on our meeting location for after you return to VA; I want it to be very clear and final between you and me; no repeat of the last missed time. This time, let's concentrate in a smaller location; the mall is too big.

Let's Plan for the ***Starbucks***, Next to the [[Wikipedia:Radio Shack|Radio Shack]], nearby the closing Mattress King, at the Shopping Center with the China King Buffet, Advance Auto Parts and Staples, Across from the [[Fashion Square Mall]].

Please confirm for me that you understand and know where that [[Starbucks]] is. We will schedule the Date and Time after you're certain of the return date in [[August|August 2010]]. I will keep a bunch of money aside for our time togther, so I can make most certain you and I can have a great time together, and to accommodate for edibles and drinks. If we make the date on a Friday, we can partake of the [[Fridays After Five|Fridays After 5]] Concert of that day, plus I'll keep an eye in [[The Hook Cafe|the "Hook"]] for similar events for other options.

Perhaps "[[Wikipedia:Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist|Nick and Norah]]" can be our first "Movie Night" Movie together. ;)

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 21, 2010 - 7:19pm

Hey Chris!

I'm glad you're downloaded Crash Test Dummies! Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm is my favorite of their songs, I feel like it just has such a powerful message. I know you mentioned Celtic Woman before, I still haven't checked them out yet. I'll check out those other bands, too.

I'll plan on that Starbucks, the one right across from the Fashion Square Mall, I google-mapped it just to make sure I know the right location. I'm still not sure on the exact day I'll be back but I'll keep you posted.

I'm curious if you've got a good plan for that video? I was reading the JenkinsJinkies page again and I noticed they said they have some plan to get rid of your [[PS3|playstation]]? That canine guy said it's all apparently legal too, I have no idea what they're talking about but I think it's not worth risking, I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. You should put together a video soon. But what will you do? Are you going to make a new youtube or something? Or did canine tell you to send it to him directly? Maybe like a full costume would help more than just a face mask, if you have something to put together. Just a thought.

TTYL,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 22, 2010 - 6:05pm

I am still diliberating on what to do against the Trolls. They're basically trying to get "Repo" Men to come in and take stuff due to debt. What they obviously are unaware of, I am paid off in my credit cards, including the one I used to buy my PS3 originally, so they they do not have a leg to stand on that plan. In their own words, it will be "Total FAIL."

While I appreciate your concern of the trolls for me, I would prefer not to talk about them, and I thank you for informing me of this opportunity.

Also, I have taken notice of a Cwcki member of your name "warning people about me". While I felt crestfallen from that, I have forgiven that person of that misdeed. ;)

I've added "Pink Flamingos" to my Queue, and moved it up to #1, so I'll see it after I send back my current DVD, disc 4 of the Complete Series of "[[Wikipedia:Daria|Daria]]".

It has been quite the toaster around here lately; I have an AC in my room, I've been keeping myself hydrated, and I try to stay made in the shade while out. You've been on the road a lot this summer; I pray you've found cool rooms with Air Conditioning to stay in along the way. What kind of vehicle have you been driving/riding in during the trip? Vehicle's AC standing the scorcher weather well? There was this one time years ago, [[Barbara|my mom]] and I went to DC to check out the [[LEGO]] Imagination Celebration Truck, but "Ol' Faithful" couldn't take the heat at the apex of our trip; we had to ride back to [[Wikipedia:Culpeper, Virginia|Culpepper]] in the Tow Truck that towed our car there, meet [[Bob|pop]] and ride home from there. All in all, it was a good adventure.

Please tell me some of your stories, Jackie. :)

TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 22, 2010 - 7:00pm

Chris, don't have a lot of time to talk, driving around Toronto tonight. But I had the idea of sneaking into one of their [[IRC]] chatrooms to find out more info about what they're doing, because I didn't believe this playstation 3 thing, but I found out some stuff. I was only in the chatroom for a few minutes pretending to be a troll (my name is "nyycklaj") but I talked to that canine guy, this is the chatlog (the password for the log is "troll"):

http://pastebin.ca/VxvlnDjb

I had to leave because I'm so busy so I don't know if anything else was said but I think I saw quite enough. I know you said you don't want to talk about this, I can't bear to see how they treat you either but you do need to do something. Chris, they've got some foolproof plan. They may be assholes but unfortunately, they plan ahead. I think you'd better deal with this NOW. Get in that inner circle and shut them down.

I feel really bad about them doing this to you, Chris. I want you to just blow up their website and end this once and for all. Because frankly, if we're going to try to start a potential relationship I want your life to be free of this baggage when we do, or else we won't have a chance. I want this to all be behind you when I see you.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 4:02am

Well, I promise to try and see what I can do from within their Forum.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 12:17pm

Well, I want to see what you do. Like I said Chris, I want this [[troll]] stuff to be done with soon. Remember, it was your lies that ruined our chances before, and you lied about things because you were so paranoid that the trolls were still slandering you. I don't want that to get in the way again. So I want you to deal with this. Please? I don't mean to sound harsh but I think it's fair of me to ask this of you.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 3:39pm

It's fair enough; I had it coming.

It is one thing of me to get the inner circle entry info; I don't really comprehend specifically what I'm expected to do to "destroy them from within". To my understanding, all I have is getting information that would incriminate them, their current FAIL plan and uncensored jealousy and hatred of me from their P.O.V. Obviously, I feel I am missing a huge, detailed, instructed step of the process to allow me to feel full understanding of "The Plan to Take Down the Cwcki and the Trolls". If you have an idea of that detailed step, I would be happy to hear it.

I gtg, but I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 6:10pm

Hey Chris. I didn't mean to sound harsh or anything in my last email, thanks for understanding.

I understand that you're not sure what to do. But try not to worry too much about it. I think the only thing you need to worry about right now is getting your foot in the door. Once you're in good with the trolls, you can take your time figuring out how to put them down. It's not like they'll be going anywhere, and besides, the more time you just lurk quietly among them, the more they'll trust you - they might show even more weaknesses to you, or they might reveal something that gives you a perfect idea of what to do on the spot. I think that canine guy said you might get access codes to the website's control, right? So that's one option.

My point is, I think you should just get inside right now. Once you're in, we can think of the next step - I'll help you. Just talk to me about what you find going on in there and we can brainstorm together. Sound like a plan, sweetie?

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie Chat 9

2010-11-06T05:17:27Z

Lime:

This chat took place on 20 [[October 2010]].

[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey-Hey. :) h 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is offline 7:20 pm 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) a text message 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi! 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm happy to back here with you again. How are you? 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm doing okay. 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
still lots of homework 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yolu? 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you? 
[7:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's understandable. I'm okay too. 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
The computer maintenance the past weekend was quite enduring. 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, what exactly did you do to fix it? 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I even went inside the XP tower to try changing the wire link between the motherboard and the HDD to see if that would work; nothing. 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I got advice from the dude at PC Pro; I am not an expert on circuitry, so I wouldn't be able to make an eyeball analysis looking at the motherboard. 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
And the PC I brought up from downstairs was damn slow, but it did power up like normal, and I was forced to use the dial-up modem; it did not have an ethernet port. 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what fixed it? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
In the end, I was able to boot it up after just less than 20 power ons and offs last night; its problem still was not isolated, but at least it is on, and until it is forced off, it seems to stay on good. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you just kept pushing the power button over and over til it worked? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, changing the screensaver may have helped; I had a theory behind the past screensaver app. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wow, thats a lot of work 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
especially when going hour after hour after hour doing so. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you say you could just buy a new motherboard for $80? 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just count it as a major blessing that it'll run for until when I can get a new computer. 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but Samantha discourages the replacement and keeping the money towards the new computer. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats a good idea 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
replacing the motherboard will only slightly delay the problem 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so how much have you saved for it now? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
she considers the motherboard replacement a gamble. yes, you got it right there. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
Still only the 20 in the bank at the moment, and I am still looking for a job, and I am going to put the zords up for auction on eBay later tonight. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am still deciding which game and dvd titles to add to the queue. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you already put the zords up on craigslist? 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no takers? 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should put up those modnation games. you dont play those anymore right? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, no takers. I figured I'd have a better chance on eBay. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I still play ModNation Racers, LittleBiGPlanet and Guitar Heroes. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well what games for the PS3 don't you play? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's what I am deciding with myself about. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, i asked which ones you dont play anymore 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have so many, you cant possibly play them all regularly 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
right now, I can't say, because I can't name all of them off the top of my head right now. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well there you go, thats your answer right there 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
look at your shelf full of games. the ones you couldnt remember the names of? sell them, you obviously dont need those 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I am deciding based on which I would know that I would or would not play again within the next year. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you dont even remember owning them, then you dont need them 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I DO remember owning them. 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I have a photographic memory of the collection. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
one at a time, I can list what I have in that collection. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just told me you dont remember them all. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not photographic memory 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I told you I could not remember them all at once, but give me a spot of time, I can list them all. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, thats beside the point. if a game is insignificant enough to you that you need to think about it before even remembering that you own it, then get rid of it 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ipso facto. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, I am still deciding one by one, title by title. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i simplified it. the ones you dont remember right away, get rid of them 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I promise you that I will have some of them listed on ebay before the week's end. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, speaking of modnation racers, why do you have two copies of it? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
you're referring to the ONE PS3 version and the ONE PSP version. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right. the same game, for two systems 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
plus, dont you have the game of the year edition too? 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so thats actually three copies of the game. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
The GOTY Edition of ModNation Racers is NON-Existent at the moment, so that is an unjust assumption. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
And when I hear of the GOTY Edition of MNR, I will do the research of comparing the original version to the GOTY Edition. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you have so many other GOTY games i lose track 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
-Will the Original Game Save carry over to the GOTY Edition? -What are its new Features? etc, etc, etc. 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
I only have a FEW GOTY games. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm pretty sure the GOTY edition will just be the same game, but with DLC 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, after considering those facts, and decisions, I then will decide rather or not to Trade in the older game disc toward the GOTY Edition. 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
LittleBiGPlanet was a worth-while upgrade from Original to GOTY. 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but Little big planet was just the same game, but with DLC 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you already had all the DLC so you didnt get anything new 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just paid $60 for something you already had 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, there was NEW stuff on there aside from DLC. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you paid $60 for a small bundle of new DLC 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
There is also additional levels; TOP Level choices that were published on the network beforehand to make it onto the GOTY disc. 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
And more additional features that were not on the original disc. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
levels you could have downloaded for free from the server 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not really; Most Levels you can only PLAY from the Server; Most Likely, they are NOT Opted for being Downloadable. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like, originally, ALL of my Published levels were Opted OUT of being Downloadable; ONLY Playable. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
You would have to be Logged Onto the PSN in order to Play Them. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you need to own them if you can play them? 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
But later, I decided to Share them better by Opting them all into being Downloadable. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Let me put it this way... 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Supposing you were playing LBP, and you found a Fashionable Level that you Enjoyed very much on the Server. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i wouldnt pay $60 for it 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
But , the Creator of that level did not Opt in for that level to be Downloadable. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
You can't take it with you to play Offline. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like a dress you borrowed or rented; you can not keep it forever; you Have to return it. 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont need it in the first place 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have a headache... 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should take some aspirin. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but back to my original question. why do you need two versions of modnation? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have not tried the PSP version, and I was curious after playing the PS3 version, and I had the theory of linking the two to unlock stuff; there wasn't. On that, I will put the PSP version on eBay. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you bought a game, but didnt even bother to play it. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I DID Play it. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you JUST SAID "I have not tried the PSP version" 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the text is so recent its still in my view, i dont have to scroll up 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not only no unlocked content, but the gameplay was not as easy or swift as on PS3. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had not played it BEFORE Purchasing it then. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. well you said "i have not tried", that implies present tense 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand the misinterpretation. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its not a misinterpretation. i didnt misinterpret 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you misspoke 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
difference 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, I misspoke 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway, how much do you think you can get for your zordon rangers? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
did you watch the revamped pregnant act video I uploaded? 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes i did. thank you for doing it so quickly! 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
looked much better in good light. 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say for the megazords, 20 to 50; depending on the bidding war. 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you looked up the relative worths of those toys? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
*20 to 50 each 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're selling mint in the box? never opened? 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, the Megazords are mostly in their original boxes with Styrofoam lining; excellent condition. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if they were out of the box, they'd probably bring $10, max 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I have taken them OUT of their boxes for play. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh... 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats too bad. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I stored them in their boxes during non-play. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you opened them 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats what matters to collectors 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
It doesn't matter; Collectors will still get all of the original parts anyway; still a good value, even though Mint Condition is better. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes it does matter. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
collectors want things that have never been opened. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the value is drastically lowered if an item is opened. thats just the way collecting works 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
ONLY if they can get them never opened; most of the time, that is not the case. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're not hearing me 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if its been opened, its worth less. thats all there is to it 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, MINT, they'd be worth probably in the hundreds to thousands. 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which is why I state realistically that I'd probably get 20 to 50 each now. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if i went to a restaurant and ordered a $50 steak, but they were out, do you think i'd still pay the $50 for a cheeseburger? 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not how supply and demand works 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just because a collector might not be able to find a mint item doesnt mean he'll pay mint prices for an open and used item 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
realistically, you'll be lucky if you get $5-$10. 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which is why I'm NOT asking for Mint Prices. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those toys are not worth hundreds of dollars 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm not asking for Hundreds. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you are asking mint prices. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
$50 is mint price for a toy like that 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
per zord 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many offers have you gotten? 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
over a decade ago. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
NO 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how can you know what mint price is if you havent done any research? you're just assuming mint price is hundreds 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
Years have gone by; they would be worth MORE than that now in Mint. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they are NOT mint 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not say they were mint. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my question stands. how can you just assume that when you've done no research on the market 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have had past experience in that area in the pokemon cards. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
pokemon cards are not zordon ranger toys. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
to collectors, they are two totally different things. 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've seen an Original First Edition Base Set Charizard card over a hundred dollars in 1999; now it would be worth probably 500 to 1000 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
http://cgi.ebay.com/mighty-morphin-power-rangers-shogun-megazord-/200531237867?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2eb097dbeb 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was giving you an example. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats a link to an opened zordon toy. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its $5.50 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
plus, not everything gets more expensive with age. 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
give it more time towards its closing time; there will be more and more bids for greater prices. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
doubtful 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
it still has over a day left. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're counting on that like its certainty. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're just assuming that the price will skyrocket 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have seen it happen. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not every time 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not every time 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just because you see it once does not mean it is reliable as a certainty 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but it IS possible. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not once; multiple times. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt mean you should get your hopes up. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you seem to be counting on getting hundreds of dollars from this 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i ask again: how many offers have you got 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm hoping for over one hundred in all. 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
none. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
look at this 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
http://www.megavideo.com/?d=2M42JXJJ 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
because they're looking more often on eBay; not craigslist. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a guy thought he was going to get tons of money for some zordon ranger toy, but he was really disappointed. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
?? 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
people use craigslist 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
people buy things all the time from craigslist 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm sure plenty of people have seen your ad 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i noticed on your craigslist ad that you said something like, "all sales are final and non-negotiable, unless i get a better offer" 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean by that? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I meant one person may make the offer for the asking price, but then someone else may come along and offer more. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess I could have worded that better. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if you said you would do the deal with one buyer for, say, $20, and someone else then offered $40, you would honor the $20 right? 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, I'd take the 40, unless the first guy can offer more. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said all sales are non-negotiable. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i guess that doesnt make sense anyway. why would someone offer more money if you've already got a listing price? 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it probably wouldnt come up. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I get it, I could have worded that statement better. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have a headache. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll give you a moment, while I fix the statements. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no im fine 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont go anywhere 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, tell me more about the bullies you dealt with in school. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
we touched on that subject when we talked about your school days, but i dont think we got very far into it 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you there? 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-! 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm back 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just edited all of the zord listings; replacing the statement in question with the following... 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
Item is subject for negotiation for better offers. No refunds after purchase. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
is that better? 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds good enough. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
thank you. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, school bullies... 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
from elementary, to middle, to high school, to college 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly, I only had bullies who would not hurt me physically; they only would approach me and say "Sonic's Dead". Then I'd respond, "No, he is not. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
any you've dealt with 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
this happened in Middle School. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they just said "sonic is dead" 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
weird 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
It happened a lot 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
they were referring to Sonic the Hedgehog, of course. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would they say that? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
just to get on my nerves. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
which they did back then. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but why sonic? i know you like sonic games, but it seems a weird way to get to you 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
Then Mrs. Sanford taught me not to let other people keep pressing my buttons. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you do in response to them? 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am a BIG Sonic Fan. 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd shout back, "No, he is not." 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
and then the bullies would wander off on their way. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i always wondered if tails was gay. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did they bully you in any other ways? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, Tails is straight. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
Although, interestingly, in early concept of the character, the Tails character was a girl, but they later decided to make him a boy. 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hmm. well, whatever. anyway, did they bully you in any other ways? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, they did not. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about other bullies? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
In High School, there were a few instances of bullies throwing change at me and I'd pick up the change. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
then they'd laugh. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
stupid. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why did you pick up the change? 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
DUH. I mean, you'd see a penny on the ground in your path, you'd pick it up and keep it for later spending, wouldn't you? 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they were laughing at you. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
it's still money. 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you pick up change wherever you see it? 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
and their loss for throwing it away so recklessly. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
why not? 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where do you do this? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the ground; not from within something like a register, of course. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well i assumed you werent picking it up from the ceiling. 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
Come on, it is lost change; it happens everywhere. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
any specific examples? 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i get weirded out by picking up things off the ground. you never know where its been 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, recently, I picked up a dime off the floor of Fashion Square. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you get bullied in college at all? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
there was another thing from High School I was going to tell you of. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
the small instance where this black girl was slapping my butt as she passed; it did not last long, I turned her in to the assistant principal, and the problem was resolved. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about on the school bus? thats a common place for kids to get teased 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the school bus in High School, I usually sat in the front by the door. for some stupid reason, this black boy wanted to beat me out of the door, and it was some silly race to be the first out. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so he just raced out the door? doesnt sound so bad 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
One day, he punched me; I did not punch back, but he broke my glasses that day. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was a hard punch. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
I didn't bleed, fortunately. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I was hurt. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, everyone gets punched in school, thats nothing 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I cried on the way home that day. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but did anything happen because of the event? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how old were you when that happened? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like 11 or 12? 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I got demoted from the Regular school bus to the freakin' Handicapped, Special-Ed bus. 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
15 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
anything happen on the autistic bus? 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not get bullied, but I did get freaked out by the one or two mentally handicapped individuals. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
One of which was a stuttering, groaning slow-minded individual. He sat two seats behind me; he reached over one time and hit me on the back of my head. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know what the hell he was thinking at that time, but I did not appreciate it. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sometimes autistic kids like that can be kind of beligerent 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats too bad. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
he was not autistic. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
He was mentally challenged. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
autism is a mental challenge, isnt it? 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
arent you mentally challenged? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
there are a Number of Varieties of Mental Problems. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not so much; I am High-Functioning, and most of the time I think at a normal speed, but sometimes I do feel like I'm thinking slow, or I'm not quick-witty. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, yes. you are mentally challenged then. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
That individual was NOT autistic. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you sure? 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
on the social aspect, and few retarded moments, yes. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
and Yes, I am sure. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how do you know? 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you ever talk to him? 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, sometimes kids like that are really masturbating. if you couldn't see his other hand, maybe he was beating his meat. what do you think 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
His older brother, who was Normal-Minded told me. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
ON A SCHOOL BUSH?!!!! 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, it happens. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
You have got to be kidding me. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a lot 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
especially with retards. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they just cant keep their own hands off themselves sometimes 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
He was not masturbating; his older brother was there, and that retard did not have his zipper down. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
OH!!!! 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i forgot to tell you. 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
God answered my prayer last night while i was sleeping!! 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
really? 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
what happened? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i couldnt really see anything, since it was dark and my eyes were closed. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but god came onto me and revealed to me that he never spoke to you regarding the tugboat. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he said he didnt know who you had been talking to. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
interesting. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah. good thing i double-checked with God 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so speaking of that, have you thought any more about the tugboat question? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes I have thought more about it, and the only answer I can give you for why I would need the tugboat is to pay my father what I owe him, do what I need to do or want to do, until when I can finally get a job, which I am still working on. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well... 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what you "want" to do isnt a justification 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so keep that in mind as you keep thinking on it. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
noted. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats why its good that you're applying at so many places. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many have you applied to this week? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
so far, just Best Buy and reapply at Wal-Mart. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've been seriously busy with the computer problems the past week; it was hard for me to think about the job hunt at the times. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
especially when I could not get to the websites. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not an excuse really. you could go apply at places in person 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I've tried on the browser on my console; wouldn't load, needed a new flash app or something. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it probably would have made you feel better to step away from the computer for a while and go do something else productive. 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but that would have used gas, and with the price of gas these days, write your own punchline. 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you drive to go to get fast food and the mall anyway 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but not everyday. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you couldnt have one or two days of driving to a bunch of places to apply? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will consider that this week, now that I have this computer running again. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your computer shouldnt have anything to do with it 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, there are always going to be some kind of problem or imperfection. just because your computer conks out, or something else stressful happens, doesnt mean you can just drop all other responsibilities. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, I've been also concerned with getting back onto the AIM to talk with you and reformatting and uploading the videos I've recorded over the past weekend. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand, but my mind can only think about so much at one time. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
... 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, whatever 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i had a question 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what is this "dirty crapped briefs" thing i've read about on the cwcki? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. in the past, I have literally crapped my underpants; for years now, that has happened a lot less. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how often does it happen now? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly, it happens from stress. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
not often. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, how often 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when was the most recent time? 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i wont judge you, i'd just like to know. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont feel embarrassed 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i had a cousin who had a similar problem. 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
it depends on a) knowing it's going to happen beforehand with the common signs. b) if I can make it to the bathroom in time. c) it may happen without me knowing it; painless. d) a mistaken fart that turned out to be a crap. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
actually, for the most recent time, and when you brought it up, it is like our minds are synced... 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean, when was it? 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
you brought it up a few minutes ago in the question... 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sitting in a dirty pair right now. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you just did it this conversation? 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i must be psychic or something. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what triggered it? 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
like 5 minutes ago, I think; it happened painlessly, and I did not notice it until I resituated myself in my seat. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
probably stress from an earlier topic. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how often, when you change your underwear, are they dirty as such? 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
let's just say you and I have some sort of psychic link; as you recall, there have been a few moments before when it has happened between us. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aw, thats romantic. 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
dirty, yes, but sometimes it may actually be just having the poo in my butt, and it hadn't touched my underpants; at those times, they're stainless. 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
romantic, yes, but at the moment right now... I feel the need to put it to question. LOL 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
If I may, I'll let you go for now, so I can take care of myself. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
8-) 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, i can talk to you later. go clean yourself up 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll TTY Thursday night. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thursday sounds good! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I appreciate your understanding. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its ok. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
luv you too 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
bye for now. 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 7

2010-11-06T05:16:18Z

Lime: Adding category.

This chat took place on 12 [[October 2010]].

[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, Sweetheart. :) h 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi!! 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
How are you? 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm doing okay. 
[7:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how was your weekend? 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm doing well too. 
[7:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sunday, I went to church, and it was a quiet day. And I watched the new Fox shows, and I uploaded the video, as you know. :) h 
[7:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i loved the chris-chan sonichu video! you did really well with your body-painting 
[7:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was actually surprised on how my torso would look blue, then after I painted my face, before the headwear, I reminded myself of the Marvel superhero Nightcrawler (is that his name?). 
[7:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, nightcrawler, thats it 
[7:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he can teleport. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
X-Men fan too? 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i think he was like a born-again christian in the comics 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i am somewhat. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
me too. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I enjoyed the Marvel heroes from time and again. 
[7:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I also downloaded recently the 10 comic book set of Marvel Zombies. 
[7:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i never read that one, but i heard it was a really good series 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I felt the stories were good, aside from the gorey details. 
[7:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont like the gore? isnt that the point of a zombie story? 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. to name a sole survivor that was able to move onto the next set of 5 books, was the Black Panther. 
[7:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
when it comes to gore, it's kinda 75-25; 3/4 I can stand, 1/4 I would feel sick after seeing. 
[7:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you liked horror stuff, though. i know you like the saw movies 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
altogether, it's not exactly smile-worthy, you understand. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do like horror stuff. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I do like the Saw movies. 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those have lots of blood. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
it just depends on how I feel at the time. 
[7:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
mostly, I am cool with it. 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, that reminds me of something 
[7:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
remember i said i listened to the recordings of your talks with alec benson leary? at one point, you said that you believed cartoon characters exist in their own real world of sorts 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
could you elaborate on that? 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
certainly. 
[7:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
you remember the movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes 
[7:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i remember there was a rumor that donald duck screamed "GODDAMN YOU NIGGER", but that was just a myth, he really said something inoccuous. 
[7:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, even though they used a bunch of hollywood magic to portray the toons in real life, there is a good chance still that there is a dimension where the characters we draw or create live in and in their own areas of that dimension. 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
good chance? 
[7:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
You may be referring to the bought between Donald and Daffy. 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats the scene 
[7:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but what makes you draw that conclusion about another dimension? 
[7:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
mostly from what I watched from shows and movies that talk about different dimensions. 
[7:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you must have taken some physics classes or something. I took a physics class once that dealt with multiple dimensions, string theory, etc 
[7:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like there also could be a dimension where our complete opposite selves wouldreside in. 
[7:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they didnt talk about a cartoon dimension in my class, though 
[7:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you brought up the subject because you were angry at alec for abusing his characters, if i remember correctly 
[7:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have taken one physics class in PVCC. So you know more than I do from book learning. 
[7:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think you mean Alec abusing MY characters in his works. 
[7:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, mostly you were specifically referencing his abuse of his own character, Asperchu 
[7:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. yes, I did go there at one point; I just could not understand why create a character with Aspergers, when the creator has Aspergers him/herself, and he/she wants to better him/herself, they would more likely draw More Normal Characters. 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well doesnt sonichu have autism though? 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sonichu does NOT have Autism. 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he goes to special education, like the dating ed and stuff though 
[7:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought that meant he was in special ed. 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, Dating Education was a Normal Class; it was not classified as a "Special Educational" class. 
[7:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Nobody in my comics has any Special Education. 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but they dont have dating ed in real life. most people dont need help forming relationships 
[7:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so are your sonichus just slow in the minds? or otherwise special needs? 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
And my Leading Characters are Normal-Minded or Stronger. 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
NONE of them are Retarded. 
[7:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
ALL of them are Normal-Speed or Faster mentally. 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do they go to dating ed then? 
[7:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was only Wild and Punchy who took the class. 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. is it because they're foreigners/ 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or are they slow in the mind? 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
And it was because Wild was feeling lack-confident in the dating scene, and Punchy was looking for tips for what he already and confidently knows. 
[7:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
they are not foreigners or slow-minded. 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, i thought punchy was chinese 
[7:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the only people i know who might need that sort of class are slow in the minds or foreigners 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Punchy was NOT Chinese or Asian; I drew his eyes that way, based on Knuckles' eyes, but I drew them more squinted accidentially. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i kind of wondered if knuckles was a chinaman 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
You do not have to be Retarded to feel Lack of Self-Confidence in ANY area. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he knows kung fu, afterall 
[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't think Knuckles is chinese. 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so lets go back to the cartoon world thing 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
now, you told alec you didnt like him abusing his characters, because they were like real people and would be hurt and suffering 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you have some characters who suffer in sonichu, like the villains 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
In most scenarios, the Villains do get the bad rap and hurt for their misdeeds and wrongdoings. 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
... 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
In their dimension, the characters would have their own individual feelings and emotions. 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
So I feel it is proper for the heroes to stay feeling good. 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldnt the villains feel bad about being created to be tormented though? 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yet when they are down, they do get hurt. 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, they would feel bad. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but surely they dont deserve that 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right? 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
They deserved it for after doing Wrongdoings to other people, characters, etc in little to mass destruction. 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
Take Dr. Robotnik. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you drew them to do wrong, they didnt have a choice 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
he did his own wrongs, but he did learn later. 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
and he also lead a life outside of villany 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and sega made robotnik, so i guess they're guilty of portraying him as a villain-type person 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
He went out jogging, did a spot of good, or did nothing that involved plotting or scheming. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, robotnik goes jogging? what game is that in 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was in an episode of Sonic X 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but thats still on tv, not in the other dimension 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what does he do when he's not on tv or in a game or whatever? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
it doesn't matter; if Robotnik is portrayed jogging, then he is jogging. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
exactly. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if asperchu is portrayed having aspergers, he has aspergers. quid pro quo 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
he does what he would do in a normal life in that dimension. 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
from reading those asperchu comics, asperchu seemed fairly happy 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i'm curious about something. when these people are created, who truly gives them life? 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
does god breathe life into their soul, or do you use more magic to do it? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
the artist, creator. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you are God? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
they put a piece of their own selves into the characters and what they create. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought only God could create life 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not consider myself God. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but do the cartoons you make? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I am sure any artist, creator would tell you the same. 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
alec told you that he didnt believe that, actually 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but to each his own opinion 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then, once a character is created, does it just exist for the rest of time as it is? 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not think the cartoons created think consider their own creators god. 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would think so, yes, until it is portrayed dead by the hand of its one creator. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but what gives a creator the right to decide if a character lives or dies? 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldnt that be murder? 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
that is a valid point. 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
it does coincide with acts of our own God; why do some of our people die considerably prematurely? 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're comparing yourself to God. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
if it was by God's hand, then would you think it would be considered murder on his part? 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am not comparing myself to god. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm not sure i believe God takes any active role in the affairs of this mortal coil. I'm more of a deist that way 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but a comic artist necessarily does take a hand in the affairs of his cartoon world 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but it seems there is a similarity. God made the real world, and decided what would happen, and you made CWCville, and decide what happens to the innocent people living there 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree with you. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so then, what happens when you draw a real person as a cartoon character? does a clone of that person come into being? 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, if they touched each other would both cease to exist like in Timecop, or how does it work metaphysically? 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would think so, but metaphysically, I would think they would coexist respectively. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for example, you drew Clyde Cash in your comic, and showed him dying. yet he survives in the real world 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
it depends on how they are drawn or portrayed. 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
that version of C.C. would be dead there, but by someone else's hand, their version of C.C. would be alive or dead based on that creator's desires. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you drew his death. isnt it you who killed him? 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
good point, but within that dimension, it can be portrayed on how the death was executed, and a guilty person can be assigned respectively, or it could be natural there. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. i just ask because you blamed alec for all the things you didnt like happening in his comic, but now it sounds like you're saying he wasn't at fault for any of it 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Upon retrospect and with the current reasoning, I can understand your point. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
one more comic question before we move on: 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you had a character named Count Graduon. what was your inspiration for him? 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I wish I had the reasoning I have now back then, and I wouldn't have had to bring up trouble then. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, maybe you can point that out with Alec when you talk to him again 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Essentially, an energy or soul of a dark or evil contained in a prison, such as an orb on a scepter, is a common practice. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where did the name come from? 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
quite right. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
At the instance of the naming of the character of evil, it came to me at random; I had no real immediate thought of inspiration then. But I think if it came from anything, the name "Graduon" was inspired from the bad Graduation I had when I left High School. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that makes sense 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have been thinking deeper and deeper into your question on the Deserving of the SSI... 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
Originally, I was given that blessing through my father, on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yesterday, I have actually asked God the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my trials and tribulations in my life. 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
God responded... 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and less richer people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
??? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not my understanding of how God works 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
God wants you to try to fix your own life, not just sit and wait for Him to fix it for you 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
God does take away likely from the rich when they are unappreciative or have their own ills of the spirit. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what about the poor people who legitimately need that SSI money? the ones who would spend it on food and housing rather than video games? why would God think you deserve it more than they do when you spend it on toys 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Likely, there are people in the Government God felt did not deserve such fortune. 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you dont want to think about it either. you just accept that you have money, and have decided God believes you are holier than anyone else and thats why they dont get it 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
WOAH! 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not think I am above anyone else. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but God does, you're saying? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am a human being; no better or less than any other human being. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i'm sorry if my belief is shocking but this is NOT the God I grew up to believe existed 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know either; I'm just informing you what God told me yesterday. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, I am still trying to come up with a conclusion and sound answer to the Deserving question. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on the cwcki, it says you once believed God told you Julie was real, and that God wanted you to drive to Ohio to meet her 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, that is incorrect. 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
God did not tell me to drive to Ohio; he said nothing. 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was the spirits of my ancestors in the graveyard that my Aunt Corina was buried in on that same day, which was my 27th birthday, who wished me a Safe Trip to Ohio. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
uh... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm pretty sure you have said at various points that God sent you the girls who you thought were real at the time 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then they turned out to be trolls 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, God did not say anything to me of what those exes were back then. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
brb 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was my immature experience on the internet and my assumptions that lead me to the belief before the truth came up later. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, maybe it's your reluctance to let go of free money that you didnt earn that is leading you to the belief that God approves of this? 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
??? 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
lots of people beleive that God wants them to do something, but in reality they're just rationalizing their own selfish behavior 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there are serial killers who kill because they think they are God's judges on earth. Crazy world leaders start wars because they think God told them to go conquer some holy land 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will admit I do have a reluctance to letting go of "free money", but that does not lead me to anything of God approving of it. He told me himself what he told me yesterday. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i am just having a really, really hard time believing that God wants you to sit and collect free money and not work or do anything, when everyone else is expected to work and actually improve their lives 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
There is a difference; they Thought God was talking to them, but the question was, were those people Praying to God or Consulting with him beforehand? 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, whenever I talk to God he always challenges me to improve my own life. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my friends are the same way 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
I prayed and asked him for his input. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm gonna pray right now quck, and see what God tells me 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, quck prayer... brb 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, back 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hopefully i'll hear back soon 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
But i've been in spots in my life where i had a choice between some easy, seductive evil, and a harder, more difficult but righteous choice 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and usually God doesnt tell me what to do, but he does suggest that I take the harder route 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day" 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
he did not say that quote. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would God even have all the rules and commandments about life if he didnt mean people to overcome their temptation to just do nothing? if God were just going to give people whatever they want, why would he make rules in the first palce? 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*place 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can't say. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but considering that what you think God told you sounds vastly different from everything else God ever says, dont you question it? 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did question him. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
Chris, i hate to bring up something that i know might be a disturbing thing to think about... 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but remember when i warned you that all your black magic use would open the door for Satan to get into your heart? 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm hearing the Devil instead of God? 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, thats it. thats what i'm worried about 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
That is stupid. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"do nothing, let others take care of you" is exactly what the Devil would say and you knwo it 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
Look, I don't know every detail for sure, and I do put questions out now and then... 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
You're being told that its ok to keep committing fraud, lying to the state of virginia, collecting money that other people need far more than you do 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how is that not something that Satan would support? 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you, and I agree. 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i think you'd better reconsider this answer to the question 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and i think you should leave God out of the question of why you deserve SSI. because its too risky to involve God when you cant confirm where the answer is actually coming from 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was only informing you what I have so far in thinking about the question. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
this time you should consider it purely from a logical standpoint. be able to explain in worldly, practical terms why you deserve SSI 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, i understand that 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont mean to say i think your answer is stupid or anything, because I dont mean that. i just dont like this "godly" message because i'm worried about where it really comes from 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see your point. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so why dont you think on it for a few more days, and we can talk about it again later? 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I mean, I HAVE tried to see it all through Logical Aspects, but I keep coming up blank. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
sure. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you're not coming up with any logical reason, maybe that's because there isnt one. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which would mean you really dont deserve the SSI 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
you are probably right, but right now I still am without a job, and until I get one, I still am going to need this income. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I am looking to apply at other places too. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, its not for people who dont have a job, its for people who are unable to work. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but once you get a job, you can get off it once and for all 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, maybe you should start sending me updates on where you apply! 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, once a week, send me a list of all the places you applied to that week 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
sounds fair. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just sent you a photo. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
email? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I took it last night before the video. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww, its you in your sonichu costume!! 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) :-) 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, in a bunch of paint anyway. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
you keep that for yourself to smile about. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i will. :-) 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i have a question about clyde cash 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes? 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i was watching the video where you make fun of him agian 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
hmm hmm 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you say he was "handed everything on a silver platter" 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean by that? 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
Considering he has All That Money of his; he Rapes my Australian girlfriend, then is blessed with a Daughter from her and SHE marries HIM, he gets more damned supporters then he deserves... Everything on a Silver Platter. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
He does not deserve his One Cent Daughter. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW. her name is Penny. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont think that raping a woman is the same thing as being handed something. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, the "one cent daughter", right? 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes; I was making a pun. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i hope that panda doesnt see that. she'd probably be crushed if she heard her rape baby called that 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anway 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*anyway 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i had a question about your hiking video! 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
still, Sarah, after months of getting to know me, and we were emotionally close, she was going to fly to USA to be with me, then HE rapes her, she gets pregnant, THEN she Leaves me for HIM. Got-Dangit!!!! 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, the hiking video. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many miles did you walk? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say 2 or 3 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't have a visual knowledge on measuring a mile as I walk it. 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
better expression, I can't eyeball a mile. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where did you end on the trail before turning back? 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was it the palmer woodland theater? looks like it 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was into the forest a long way before I turned back, then I took the second path at the clearing and found myself at the Carter overlook. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, the Woodland Theater was actually Early in the trail. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
like the first quarter mile. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you went from the trailhead parking lot to the carter overlook? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and then turned back? 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats only like %15 of a mile 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
No. 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I went into the forest OFF the Trail. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I went Right at the first clearing, into the forest, then farthest in, I turned back, and took the second path at the second clearing and found myself at the Carter Overlook. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i thought you had walked all over the park, considering how much you were panting 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it seemed like you had been hiking all day 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had been hiking a lot, and it was in the 70s. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
there was a nip of chilly air going into and out of my nose. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, that sounds really chilly. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long were you hiking? 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, when I get a LOT of chill in my throat, it does make me pant. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
over an hour. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you probably actually went like half a mile? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I am sure I walked well over a mile. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I should have brought a step counter with me. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
for tonight's video, I'm going to do the Fred Flintsone routine. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! cant wait to see 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
and uh... oh shoot. had a blank moment... 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
OH 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
today, I went into my closet; had to dig and sort out a lot, but I got out my M.M.P.R. zords to sell on Craigslist; I still need to assemble and take the photographs to upload. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
did I tell you when they lost me as a fan in the series? 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i never really watched power rangers, i always thought it was too kiddy. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
every episode is the exact same. a monster appears, they fight it, it gets bigger, they get into their zords and kill it, repeat 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have watched the vast majority of the series. 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
still, the scenarios are different. PLUS, between seasons, the old Zord set gets destroyed, and they are upgraded to the next set. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the scenarios are the same. big robots beat up the monster 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Did you watch Tommy fall in love with Kimberly? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know who those people are 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
as i said, i never got into the show 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, they lost in the Lost in Space season, when at the end of it all, they killed Zordon. 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, but they just upgraded the zordons at the beginning of the next season like you said, right? 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so whats the big deal 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, after they killed Zordon, in the next season, a Government Official puts together the next of Power Rangers. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not care for a Government Official doing the job. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, you said they get a new set of zordons every season 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont get it 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
You are confusing Zords, the Robots, with Zordon, the GIANT HEAD who guides the rangers with his assistant Alpha. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sound the same to me. but like i said, i never was really interested in power rangers 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're gonna sell your zordon toys? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Zords, and yes. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you have like $130 saved up for when we meet? you could use some of that for your new pc 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
About that, after you told me we couldn't meet as planned in September, but instead in November, I spent the money to pay off my father some more. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what sort of pc are you looking at getting? 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, a cheap netbook or something 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I was planning on setting aside the amount from November's income for our dates. 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am looking to replace the motherboard in this PC first. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why? how old is that pc? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
And when we can afford 300 or more, we'll buy a new PC. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you even confirmed the motherboard is the problem? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
7 years. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, it was confirmed. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how so? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had it examined between people on Best Buy's Geek Squad and recently my new acquaintance at PC Pro, John, that the problem is in the motherboard. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. but didnt you say the motherboard you're looking for is like $80 or something? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
and 80 is less than 300 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats a good chunk of money for an antique piece of equipment that might break as easily as the one you're replacing did 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
um, how many ps3 games did you buy in the last 30 days? 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you just buy beatles rock band AND lego rock band? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, those two. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was only the two, and they both were 10 piece on clearance where I got them from. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
B.R.B. was ten at Sam's Club, and L.R.B. was ten at Target. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i just looked at best buy's site. beatles rock band is $30, lego is $20 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
so, yes, it was just those two games in the last month. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and plus, how much have you spent on DLC songs for them? 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
they were both on clearance at Sam's Club and Target. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I only spent 15 on DLC for B.R.B. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
no money on L.R.B., because most of the past Rock Band Tracks and DLC were playable in L.R.B. 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
You wanted "A Day in the Life." 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if lego rock band didnt add anything new, why did you buy it? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
L.R.B. has it own set of tracks, including "Ghostbuster" to name one. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus, it is LEGO, and I am a Lego Fan too. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, i surmised its lego-related from the title 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
looking to get it since it came out; it finally was on clearance for 10; so I got it. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have the receipts. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, what else? 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
... 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have a question about something you said to tito and clyde cash when you were trying to get that $9000. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
sure. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you said about the destruction of your PS3: "I have endured the Pains of Loss, and the Healing of Cleansing; FREE of the Lonely and Anguished Soul that went into that machine the past three years from destroying that vessel." 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, and that was true; I DID feel that. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but then you went and bought a new one 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right away 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
Post-Destruction, two days later, I started feeling impulsive and tense from its absence. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
And AFTER I learned NO 9000 was coming my way. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which was a week later 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but now even after those impulses have passed, you still wont let it go. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know that you have told me that letting go of your PS3 addiction is non-negotiable, i'm not going to try to push it. but i just have trouble understanding why you wont drop the same amount of money (or less) on a new PC, or other useful things 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it just confuses me, is all 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Firstly, the other useful things, non-console related, don't come up until later. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"saving money" is always useful. just because you had $300 on hand didnt mean you were required to go throw it on a video game 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Second, I would drop to get money for you definitely as we meet. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and when we meet 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and all times in the future after that. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see, its stuff like this that is why i want you to seriously look at why you think you deserve your SSI. because all you spend it on, aside from paying off your debts to your dad, is video games 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which is not what its intended for 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see how the two issues are connected? 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like i said, take a few more days to consider it, i dont need an answer right now 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand what you are saying. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, Sweetheart. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, if you really needed it, if you couldnt feed or clothe or house yourself without it, i wouldnt have a problem with it 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't understand your sentence. 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what i mean is 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
even if you didnt have the tugboat, your parents would still house and feed you. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I get it now. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I am looking to improve myself; I will get a job as soon as possible. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm also going to reapply for the new Wal-Mart. 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well see? there you go! 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i knew that you saw deep down God would never tell you not to work. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well anyway, i'm gonna go to bed soon 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
That is obvious. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i have a great idea for tomorrow's video! 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
tell me. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is there a park or playground or somewhere near you? 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
somewhere with a jungle gym 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
there are one or two 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus, there is a place with a Bounce and Play thing. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i want to see you go to one, and make a video of yourself doing pull-ips. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
pull-ups, i mean 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Pull-Ups; that is no problem. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a jungle gym is good for that, you can use the bars 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, Monkey Bars. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats it 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i want to see you do 20 pull-ups! 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
set the camera down from afar, and then show yourself doing the pull-ups. 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
make sure you find a set of bars that are like 8 feet off the ground or something, so that your feet cant touch the ground 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay!! :-D :-D :-D 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i look forward to seeing it tomorrow. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and the fred flinstone video tonight!! 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
also, i have a few more video ideas for you, but i'll put them in an email and send them to you by tomorrow. 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's good. 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, well i'm gonna go to bed now. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Aside all of my problems, you understand me. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I want you to know I appreciate that. :) h 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i appreciate your honesty, too. :-* 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight! 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 6

2010-11-06T05:15:01Z

Lime: Adding category.

This chat took place on 8 [[October 2010]].

[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey. :) h 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello! 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[7:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
give me one sec, sweetie 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
ok 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, back 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
how are you? 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm doing good. hectic day 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
still lots of homework 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how has your day been>
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, and getting better. ;) h 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so your computer is back in commission? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you know what the problem was? 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW, do you know of any good DLC of Windows XP install cd software? 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey hang on, i havent even seen your videos yet! 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have a better idea of it. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
give me a couple minutes to watch them, then i'll come back, ok? 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
ok 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D brb 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
enkoy 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
enjoy 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ahahahah!! i love the clyde cash one 
[7:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, i'll just keep talking to you as i watch the other two 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ahahaha! thats alec benson leary you're mocking in the third one? 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, I'm mocking BOTH A.B.L. and the Brown-Striped "Christian Chandler" 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, it was a little confusing at first, but i see you're jumping between the two 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm surprised the trolls did not get that, as I had read it in the Cwcki update portion. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its kind of confusing 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
or rather, I'm impersonating C.C. 2 impersonating A.B.L. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you probably should have made one video for each of them, but its still good 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can understand the confusion. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what inspired you to mock alec benson leary? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Obviously, his drawing style; him portraying me dying a gorey, horrifying death. 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
etc. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
whats wrong with his drawing style? i thought it was ok 
[7:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
he draws Blocky-Style. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean? 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it doesnt look pixelated, if thats what you mean 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
don't you see how from his drawing style, the characters look like a bunch of lopsided hexagons, squares, etc. 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
? 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i didnt get that impression 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i think his art style is pretty consistent and professional looking. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but why did you attack him? Isnt he the one who you made peace with a long time ago? 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, I felt a lack of an idea for today's video; I "pulled a rabbit out of a hat" with another mockery video. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, it was a big hit 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you really put passion into it, i can tell 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but why would you attack your friend like that? 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello? are you there? 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC is unable to receive offline IMs. 7:42 pm 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello? are you there? 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC is unable to receive offline IMs. 7:43 pm 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:00 pm 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm back 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris? 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey! 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
computer trouble again? 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i hope it doesnt interrupt our chat agian 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i felt like you got snatched away from me again 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was waiting for your next input, when my computer suddenly turned askew with colors and froze up. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so anyway 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
about alec benson leary 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what made you decide to troll your friend like that? 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can't make any promises on it allowing me to stay on or not. 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I never said he was a friend; he's more of an acquaintance. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. well, i thought you two buried the hatchet 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i saw the video from way back when where you apologized to him for murdering him in your comic 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, it was just something I've been holding in for a while, and I felt like letting it out. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you still angry? i thought you sorted out all your feelings when you talked to him 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i listened to the recordings the cwcki has. he was very cordial and gracious, seemed like you two were striking ground together 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
We did have it sorted out, but I still have my feelings of offense from his work. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
(dont get jealous, but i thought his deep manvoice was kind of sexy... lol) 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you offended? he was just drawing a comic 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
It just really bothered me. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you brutally murdered him in your comic, wouldnt that kind of make it even 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
how do you think it makes me feel that people like him want to see me dead. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what??? 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when did he ever say that? he was trying to make peace with you 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
in his drawings; he drew me being killed. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
how do you think that makes me feel? 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you drew him being killed. so doesnt that make it even? 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why still be mad? 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you killed him after you talked to him, and found out what an honorable and charming man he was and how nice he was trying to be 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I never really considered him charming or all that honorable. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
the only nice thing I can really say about him is that even his style is flawed, he can put together a comic book story well. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, i thought his stories were gripping and his character development quite deft and enthralling, i'll agree with you there 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but still 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm curious why you are still angry when you already got even. 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris? 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was thinking. 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, thought your computer dropped again 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, I'm still here. 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think I have other things of angst against Alec that remain in my subconscious, even though I know I've buried the hatchet with him and all that. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
isnt that kind of dishonorable? 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
? 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, if you still had problems with him, maybe you should talk to him instead of making this inflammatory video 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, alec benson leary is no clyde cash. whereas clyde is a lewd, moronic cretin with no creativity, alec benson leary was just an artist with an eye towards artistic greatness 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess it was a bad move to mock him the way I did after all things have passed and we've moved on, but I said what I felt. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i can understand that. :-) 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe you should talk to him again though 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it might be cathartic 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have a LOT to say to the trolls, individually preferably instead of as a whole group, after all the shit I have gone through from him. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but he isnt a troll, though, i thought 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
cathartic? New Word to me. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
cathartic = healing to the soul 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yeah, but I still had my feeling and opinions. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but... 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
ah. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but he isnt a troll. why treat him like one? 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will make an apology to Alec in my next video. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! i know! 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
How did you like me portraying Paul McCartney? 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
in your last apology video to alec, you said you would draw replacement pages for the end of Sonichu Issue 10, to replace that awful bloody trial 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you never did. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, and I will eventually. 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should draw those pages now and show them in the video! or send them to alec 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you have any ideas for how you would replace the trial scene? 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
just completely remove it. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said you'd replace it 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
It'll still be a number of pages divisible by four. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said you'd replace the pages, not just cut them out. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it doesnt have to be long! you could make like ten pages. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had an idea for putting in a page or two of Slaweel in Jail, trying to create a spell in a witch's brew and fail, with a passing by Guard making a witty comment. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
then she says the guard, "Shut up." 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how about this: draw asperchu and sonichu together, and they shoot clyde cash with a combined asper-ha-me-ha attack 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
?? 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why not? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
That idea is not cannon to the series. 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
or at least how it originally was. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
??? 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you decide what canon is. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
canon in this sense means to be relative and matching. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
here's what you said: 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"Anyway the trial, and the execution will be replaced with pages that are more accurate to the stories" 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so that statement means the trial wasnt canon 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, you know that alec and asperchu arent trolls, they arent your enemies. so you owe it to them to replace that trial with something that shows you have nothing against them 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, anything having to do with specific cyber bullies/trolls were never canon to the series. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the asper-ha-me-ha was just one suggestion, but you could show them do something else together 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but the majority of the series is about you and sonichu attacking trolls 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can do a simple handshake between Sonichu and Asperchu. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
mm, more than that, though 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
what? 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
needs to be at least a few pages. enough material to offset that giant trial 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sonichu is hesitant to coming to the terms with Asperchu, like I am. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sonichu is a comic character. you draw him 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so its really all your feelings. 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but regardless, not only do you know that you owe this to alec, but you stated specifically that you would do it 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and you never have. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you said you dont think alec is honorable, but you havent honored your promises here 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
I lost the inspiration to draw, and I have really no place to put the pages online without the Trolls attacking them and trying to take me down AGAIN. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well whether you lost the inspiration or not, you still owe it to him. if you owe money on a credit card, you cant "lose the inspiration" to pay your bill. 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
They've hacked into my websites the number of times. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you dont have to post them anywhere. send them to alec. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or send them to me, i can make sure they get to him 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
what, you know his e-mail address? 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, its on his website. and the cwcki knows it too 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I beg your pardon. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no biggie :-) 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have his e-mail address, and I can access it easily as well. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have a bunch of his e-mails saved in my AOL saved mail folder. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i think 10 pages of material is a good amount. i think your trial was longer than that, but a 10-page chapter would be good 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will think on that. 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have to come up with something completely different to extend it to ten pages. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should draw some tonight or tomorrow 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just draw various ideas, it'll get your juices flowing 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll draw some ideas in my head, and I'll come up with a good idea soon. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i think it would be better if you draw on paper 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but they are drawn in my head before on paper. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, yes. but putting them to paper accelerates the creative process 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
since its easier to visualize something when you're using your eyes 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will come up with something good enough to make ten pages long to make amends. 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay! 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you can do it over the next week or so. shouldnt take long 
[8:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, sweetheart. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your clyde video got me thinking 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are there any other trolls you'd like to mock like that? 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i think you could do a good job with some of them 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
Allow me to name a few I can remember. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just mocked "Christian Chandler" in Pennsylvania. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
And then there's Jason Kendrick Howell... 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
the "Black Man in the Pickle Suit"... 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Jack Thaddius... 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that tito guy was big, too 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
right? 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, "Surfshack Tito" as well... 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should make one for each of them 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
interspersed with your other videos! 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I want to attack Daniel Mimms as well; he and his buddy, Lucas, started the whole mess rolling with that photo they took of me that Friday Night with me in my green/purple stripe shirt. 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is idle 8:37 pm 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
interspersed? 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
another new word 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
meaning, in-between 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
have you read about Mimms on the Cwcki? 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, a little bit 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he took a photo of you, right? 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
he and I were buddies; we played the TCGs together, between Pok'emon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and even Ultimate Fighter System (U.F.S.), and we were Gamers too; we were in line for the release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl for Wii. 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
And then to take THAT photograph of me and be among the trolls, was a Major Blow to me. :_( 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
I thought he and I were friends. 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
and to do this and that.... 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i saw a photo of him on the cwcki, wearing a green afro wig. you could wear one like that 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just wanna punch his lights out. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can make a fake 'fro 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, do you have a bicycle? 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but it is soo tucked away, I can't get to it. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where is it tucked away? 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'd love to see a video of you riding around outside on your bicycle. 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
in our workshop, or at least used to be a workshop; now it's another storage space my hoarding family filled to the brim. :( h 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh... 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you cant dig it out at all? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah... 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, there is just TOO much stuff in the way inside the workshop, as well as OUTSIDE in front of the door to the workshop. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, you can still make my hiking video, right? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
hiking video? 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, i asked you about it in one of my recent emails 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
didnt you see? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sorry; I think I lost that one. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
but you can fill me in on that detail right now. :) h 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, what i wanted was for you to record yourself hiking in the blue ridge mountains 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can do that; I just have to plan for it. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay! 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe this weekend? 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, i want to see an entire video of you walking along a hiking path. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can't make any promises, but I will plan for it. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that video would be like an hour long, i suppose, or more. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
for YouTube? their limit is 15 minutes. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i'd love to see you do it! you can comment on the wonders of nature you see around you as you walk 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
doesnt have to be youtube. you could just upload it to mega-upload and send it to me 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or it can be broken up into segments for youtube too, if you want 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
segments for a shorter video would be better. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
out of the whole. 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i'd still love to see the whole unbroken video 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus, the battery life of my camera will not last a whole hour. 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
I know that. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long does it last? 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think it lasts between 15 and 30 minutes. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, tell you what. get to the mid-point of the hiking trail, and then start recording, and just record until the battery ends 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
because i want to see you at the top of that trail! :-D 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, we'll see. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you can do it this weekend! 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay, i'm so excited! 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, how did you like me as Paul McCartney? 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
actually, didnt watch that one yet 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
because it was like 6 minutes long, decided to wait til we were done talking 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, a word of warning, there's mic feedback at the end of the video. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, i'll keep an eye out for it. 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
or an ear. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
lol, yeah 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:50 pm 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i was wondering 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes? 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you thought any more about my SSI question from the other night? 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
since you said you needed some time to think about it 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have thought it over some more; I have not come to a conclusion yet. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I remember you want me to tell you why I feel I need or deserve it. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, not need, but deserve. but yeah 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I promise you I will have a full-thought answer for you on the topic very soon. 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay! i look forward to it 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
going back to my computer for a bit... 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've learned that there are two possibilities for its ailment. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
a corrupted file on its HDD, or a major flaw on the motherboard. 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
or possibly both. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, if its the HDD, you can just reformat it 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
After I've downloaded and burned the Windows XP install stuff onto a CD-R, I will have the HDD scanned and the corrupted file deleted. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, you really like sonic games, right? Sonic 4 is coming out soon, isnt it? 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
a Reformat means a COMPLETE Removal of EVERYTHING on it; I'd lose ALL of the programs installed, my tunes, photos, videos, etc, saved on it. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, I am well-aware of it. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you have a bunch of spare hard drives 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just don't know when it's coming out. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i was thinking of something else for a video... 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
a few extra 5 inch, Notebook, SATA HDDs; my PC's HDD is a 5 inch, IDE HDD. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
Chris, for Sunday's video I want you to celebrate the release of Sonic 4 with me. I've got a cousin who LOOOOOOVES Sonic. He is also very very super autistic. Go figure! Anyways, I want you to make a video of yourself transforming into ChrisChan-Sonichu (you know, blue like Sonic xoxo heehee!) 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not have any extra IDE Drives. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can do something like that. :) h 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
JUST like they do in Sailor Moon! download some Sailor Moon music, spin around and transform into your ultimate form! Throw glitter in the air, blow bubbles, and turn blue! Since Halloween is approaching, you could pick up some blue face paint at the Dollar Tree to paint your body with! I want you to look EXACTLY like your beautiful creation! 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will work on that for you this weekend. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
Like cosplaying!! I do not want you to transform into Colossal Chandler. I want you to stick to your original Chris-Chan-Sonichu form because Sonic 4 is a celebration of the ORIGINAL Sonic design, right?? So let's enjoy it together!! I am soooooo excited to see my chunky monkey man alllll sexy and blue and shirtless! mmmMMM! Make me proud! 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and this time chris, a challenge: DO NOT use all construction paper, please! Use your imagination and lots and lots of face paint! 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway, after the scanning and removal of the corrupted file, if the computer is still having the trouble, it would be safe to conclude that it WAS mainly the Motherboard, and then I'll look into a new computer where I can move the HDD into that from the old one... 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
or I'll see if I can replace the motherboard with advice from John. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
face painting, okay. :) h 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
body painting ;-) 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
body paint too. 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay!!! 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
listen, sweetheart. 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hmm? 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
the "chunky monkey" comment; I feel discomfort in being referred to by that. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm sorry sweetie! i only used that because its my favorite flavor of ben and jerries 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i didnt mean it to mean that. i'm sorry! :-( 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I like that ice cream too. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
it's okay, I just wanted you to know. :) h 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its because i think you're just as yummy... ;-) 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sweeeeeeeet, just like you. :-* h 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well anyway 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
you are my Wild Cherry Surprise. 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
not an ice cream; I just made that name up, but it can be an ice cream flavor with cherries. :) h 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats what my mom used to say when i was a baby 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
really? 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
Wild Cherry Surprise? 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll be darned. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, i used to be really constipated as a kid 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
she never knew when i was going to "blow", if you know what i mean 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand. 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so to sum up 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what video are you going to do tomorrow? 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll do one you suggested in your e-mail... 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
probably the cherokee one. 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
if not that, then Fred Flintstone. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yay! i'd love to see that one!! 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the cherokee one, i man 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
mean 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
saturday, i'd love to see the hiking video 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me ask you to sum up. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hmm? 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
do you like me calling you "Wild Cherry Surprise", or do you feel bothered by that? 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it reminds me of my period, actually 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont really care for it 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
that's cool, I'll come up with another cute nickname to call you. :) h 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay! 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i'm gonna go to bed soon 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i look forward to seeing the cherokee video tomorrow 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, sweetheart. 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and i'd love to see the hiking video on saturday! and then the chris-chan sonichu video on sunday! 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
You sleep well, and have a sweet dream with me in it. :-* h 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you too!! 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
we'll see about the videos. 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean, we'll see? 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-( 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
on making the trip to the Blue Ridge; I have gone on there before, but it was with my dad and his Seinor Pass. 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm just not sure about going there by myself. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why not? 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I haven't done it before, and it is soo high. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i believe in you. you're my little mountain man! 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but chris, think of how manly you'll be for me when you conquer that trail! 
[9:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, Jackie, I'll make the trek for you. :) h 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D 
[9:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll let you go for now. I Love You. :-* h 
[9:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sleep well. 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
love you too :-* 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight!! 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 5

2010-11-06T05:14:03Z

Lime:

This chat took place on 3 [[October 2010]].

[7:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, Jackie. :) h 
[7:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hi! 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
How has your day been? 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, alright 
[7:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how about you? 
[7:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mine has been okay. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you make a video for me today? 
[7:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just uploaded my video for today, talking about Mary Poppins being my favorite movie; I've just received your e-mail with the Hamburglar idea; I'll do it tomorrow. 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! let me go watch 
[7:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
brb 
[7:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
Also, the Lars video; the upload failed the first time; I'm reuploading it now. 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[7:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I stayed up the night before last, because I started work on recreating the Uncut Aqua Teen movie I had before I reformatted my PS 
[7:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that video was great!@ 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean recreating the movie? 
[7:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you have to download their movie? 
[7:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
Last time I created the uncut movie, as well as this time, I had used the movie, plus the deleted scenes and parts from the deleted version from my copy of the 2-disc DVD. 
[7:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
First time, I used my PC's movie editor for the video files ripped from the DVDs. 
[7:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
But now, it's funky with me on the format it would use, but I've figured out and used successfully the Video Editor App on my PS 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
funky monkey, eh? 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
LOL 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
seriously though, the PC's program found the video file formats unacceptable. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah 
[7:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
IDK why, and I forgot how I did it the first time. 
[7:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you get it completed? 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. 
[7:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
Thanks to my PS3 now, instead of the crappy program on my PC, I can most definitely put the deleted scenes from any show and movie on DVD into their respective movies and shows. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well thats good. 
[7:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what program do you use to edit your videos on the pc that was getting weird? 
[7:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was called "showbiz" 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you could try something professional, like final cut pro 
[7:34 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have never heard of that program. 
[7:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its a video editing software package 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I will consider looking for a downloadable file of its installation exe. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i was sitting in class yesterday, and i thought to myself 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
but the video editor on my console works very well for my needs. 
[7:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes? 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know a whole lot about your college days. 
[7:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was it like for you? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
I can talk about that tonight. :) h 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly though for me, college was not so swift. 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no? 
[7:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was it like? 
[7:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
but there were a few positive perks at PVCC during the first couple of years I went there. 
[7:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
tell me about them! 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
One time, we had a hypnotist appear to do a show; I was a volunteer. I was actually aware of what was going on while I was "hypnotized", so I went along with the gag. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, so it was like an illusionist? 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
One of the tricks was when he said a word, I call him something stupid, so I called him a current catchphrase back then; "Uncle Screwy Louis". 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, not an illusionist. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
screwy louis! lol 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
my favorite uncle is Uncle Jesse, from full house 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
that was a good show. 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i liked the early years before michelle could talk. it jumped the shark once she stole the limelight 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you think of mary kate and ashley olen? 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*olsen 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Another time, we had a game show with audience participation. I didn't get to get up on stage and win, but it was fun to watch. 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
The Olsen twins are okay; they're fun in their own way. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
me and my friends had a bet that they would pose in playboy once they turned 18, i was surprised they never have 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I haven't seen much from them in their teen or adult years. 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you ever have any foreign exchange students in any of your classes? 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
not that I was aware of. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
When it came to classes, I was mostly by myself, and I paid great attention to the details of the subjects. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you didnt make too many friends? 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I did great in the computer classes portion for my degree. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah, I had few acquaintances. 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
but no friends. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
awww... 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
of all your classes, what were your favorites? 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
And in an English class, as we were starting to read "Wednesday's Child", a story of an autistic girl, I told the professor and the class I was H.F.A.; between that, and some misunderstandings, he kicked me out of his class on my 21st Birthday. 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what misunderstandings 
[7:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
essentially, when it came to critiquing the papers of the others' students, when they started talking about drug use and homosexual content, I wrote with exclamations you'd likely hear from a black person in church. Note, this was back in 2002, and I was not as mature as I am today. 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
*not as mature then as I am today. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, you were critiquing each others' papers? 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of exclamations? 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, did you shout OH LAWDY or something 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats kind of a stereotypical black church saying 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't remember verbatim, but stuff against the smoking and such, and yes, I did go "Hallelujah, Lord" once or twice. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on paper or vocally? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
on paper 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what part of the paper were you commenting on when you said that? 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think it was on a homosexual statement that was on that paper. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was the assignment for these papers? were they book reports? or editorial pieces? 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
something like that 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
story reports 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
on the story your class read? 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was yours about? 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm not sure I understand the question 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was the report about the story you read? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, it was on a different story we were reading before Wednesday's Child. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i see 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was that story? was it about gay people 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
It may have, or it may have not been. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm just curious why the paper you were critiquing had stuff about homosexuality 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know you don't remember the words exactly, but what sort of things were you saying about being gay in your critique? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
because of the way the student wrote his paper; he went into details of the story we had read where he saw something about homosexuality, which I did not see myself. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so, that student saw like an allegory in the story about homosexuality? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I did not. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what made you say "hallelujah" 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
because I was on a roll on the way I was writing against what the student was saying, and I got carried away. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so did a debate start about it in class? 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
no 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no one talked further about it? 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
only the professor offered me his input on what I wrote after class. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe he thought your critique wasn't constructive because you were using such strong language? 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think he felt confused, and wanted to correct me and my misunderstanding of how to critique others' papers. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes, thats probably how he felt 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what was your discussion like? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say mid-volume; I mostly listened to what he told me, and I told him that I was only expressing how I felt about the subject of the student's statements. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you feel about the student's statement? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
offended. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
offended? how so? 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understood that homosexuality was wrong, and I was angry at it on that definition mostly; this was before I understood more of the details that I know today. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so your critique was telling the other student his views on homosexuality offended you? 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Which WHILE I do feel strongly against their doings behind closed doors and whatnot, they are still people, and I respect them as fellow people nowadays. 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so that's why you were kicked out of class that day? because you weren't doing the assignment properly? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
NO, this was BEFORE I was kicked out of class. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was kicked out of class LONG after that, and shortly after I told the professor of me being autistic too. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if your getting kicked out happened long after, what does this critique assignment have to do with getting kicked out? 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had theorized that he had little understandings of autistic individuals, and was probably afraid of me. 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
the statements I wrote in the critique he probably considered a metaphorically loud outburst 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember ALL of the details, but I understand at least it was between the critique and my autism. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well it sounds like he just thought you weren't doing the assignment properly 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
likely. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I don't know. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long after that were you kicked out? 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
over a month. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what happened the day you were kicked out? 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
One of my worst Birthdays in my life. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sorry, my mother came in. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
anyway, 
[8:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no problem 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was simply, I went into the classroom on time as usual; few minutes later, the professor comes in, and tells me to leave, straight out! 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well something must have happened before that. 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I tried to find out why, but he was loud and direct about it. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
after leaving the classroom, I spent the remainder of the time I would have spent in the class, sitting at a table crying and feeling depressed. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you have no idea why? 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
none at all? 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just told you what had happened beforehand. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
students dont get kicked out of class for no reason 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok, so it was the critique incident that caused it. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seems odd that they'd wait a month to do anything 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
that And/Or the autism thing. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you really believe your being autistic got you kicked out 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
the autism note came in about a couple of classes before when I was kicked out. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was PVCC was regularly kicking autistic students out of their classes? 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
no 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well why would your autism be different 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would they kick you out for that? 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was on the opinions of the one professor; NOT the school. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so does that professor have a history of kicking out autistic students? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not know his own history. 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
at all 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why do you assume it was your autism then? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was a most recent event right before he kicked me out of his class; simple math. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe some of the other students were offended by your mean-spirited critiques 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
IDK 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
maybe 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, people aren't as afraid of autism as you think 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
not nowadays, because they are becoming more aware and understanding of the condition. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
autism was pretty well understood back in 2003, too. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it seems like you're leaving something out, this doesnt make sense 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
some event had to have happened recently before you got kicked out 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you criticize someone for homosexuality again? 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have told you all that I can remember; I know nothing else. No. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what happened after that? were you permanently kicked out of that class? 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or allowed back in later? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was allowed to retake the class with a different professor next semester. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
*the following semester. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
but I was kicked out perma from the first class then. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
because of your hate speech 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds like 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not disagree; it does sound like so. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the homosexuals in that class probably thought you were being mean-spirited and cruel 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i bet they complained, and thats what caused it 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
probably. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you say you've learned from that, and wouldnt make those sorts of comments again 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which is good 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. :) h 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me move forward to another thing of my college days. 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you said earlier that you are still offended by what gays do, even privately? 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you mean exactly? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
the sex for one thing, the way they act towards each other in couples. To me, it is just wrong to see two males doing what is done between a male and a female. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
it just really creeps me and offends me. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you dont like to look at it, which is fine 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you still think its wrong even when you dont have to look? 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
hearing about it puts the pictures in my head as well. yes 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, that means you dont like to think about two men having sex. 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
obviously 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but just their being gay bothers you too? 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but as people, they have their equal rights too, and as much as I am bothered, I still respect them as people. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you think that being gay is wrong? 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why? 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
to me, it just is. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but that doesnt make sense. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there must be a reason 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
because of the graphic details and how they bother me, it backs up why I think homosexuality is wrong. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you get mad when you think that others consider autism wrong for no reason? 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, I would feel offended if others considered autism being wrong for no reason. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you consider being gay wrong for no reason 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just told you my reasons. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, you said "it just is" 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, you said "backs up". do you have another reason for thinking homosexuality is wrong, besides that? 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, you said it makes you feel sick, but would that be ok if a person said autism was bad because it made them feeel sick? 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am also homophobic. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats pretty much what saying "homos makes me sick" means 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so thats really the same thing 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but there's a difference between not wanting to watch gay people have sex, and thinking they are wrong to be that way 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont want to watch gay people have sex, but i dont think they are wrong to do it. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what is your reason for being homophobic 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am homophobic, because I feel fear of becoming one of them if they came too close to me. Why I think what they are doing is wrong; it is only because I feel what they do amongst themselves is wrong; no reason I can put into words; I just feel that way. 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so if its okay for you to be homophobic, is it okay for someone to be autisphobic? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, if your teacher hated autistics, wouldnt it be okay then? 
[8:36 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not that im saying he did, i dont believe he was that way 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
Look, I do not know what the professor was thinking on the day he kicked me out of the class; I told you what I am able to remember of way back then. He may not have been "autisphobic"; I just do not know. While I am not avoiding the issue, I am feeling stressed out on how deep this discussion has gone. 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
besides, it did get worse AFTER that event in my college days. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm just posing it as a hypothetical. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
at the start of this discussion you said that you believed your teacher's fear of autism was probably the cause of your being banned. so i'm just asking why its okay for you to hate gays if its not okay for a person to hate autistics. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, sometimes I get stressed that you don't seem to want to have serious discussions. you act like i'm attacking you 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when i'm not 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand you are not attacking me; I feel confusion on the hypothetical, and I am uncertain on how to respond to that. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you could just offer supposition. i'm not asking for concrete answers 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did offer supposition. 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agreed with your theories. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, so here's another question for which i'd like a supposition 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
whats the difference between gays and autistics? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
Autism is a mind-block that promotes intelligence but inhibits social abilities; Homosexuality is a strong attachment or bond between two males or two females. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
two completely different things. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
one similarity i see 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is that both gays and autistics are born the way they are 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
WOAH! 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
oh 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did you think i was going to say? :-) 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did feel fear when you said you saw a similarity. 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so anyway, here's what i wonder 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you feel that you are persecuted for your autism 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wouldn't you feel extra bad about persecuting another group who is in the same boat, like gays? 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would not want to offend or persecute another autistic individual. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you think gays are the same as autistics...? 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I feel it not only would be wrong on me, but it would seriously damage the psyche and frighten the autistic individual horrendiously 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I never said that. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i asked about persecuting gays, you answerd about persecuting autistics 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
are you trying to warp my mind with this logic? 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm not trying to "warp" anything. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, maybe I misunderstood the question. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i repeat: if you feel that you are persecuted for your autism, wouldn't you feel extra bad about persecuting another group who is in the same boat, like gays? 
[8:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
I thought you were asking if I would feel extra bad about persecuting another autistic person. 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, i meant if you know what its like to be treated unfairly because you're a minority, why do it to another minority 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats like a black person getting fired for being black, turning around and attacking a chinese person for being chinese 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, I would feel extra bad for persecuting another group solely because of their being gay. 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
That's called discrimination, and it is wrong. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but its how you feel towards gays. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont you think you're hurting gay peoples' feelings? 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
just because I feel that way about gays, I would not turn them away because of that; they are people too. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont know, you seem to get mad whenever you suspect someone doesnt like you for your autism, even if they havent done anything to you yet 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what else happened in college? 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have made the suspection before, and I did get mad, but after confirming that was NOT the case with the other person, then I would have a change of heart. 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anyway... 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but if you confirmed someone didnt like you for your autism, even if they didnt do anything to you, would you still be bothered? 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
if they have NOT done anything to me, I would NOT be bothered. I was talking about Post-Action. 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well then, lets move on 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
tell me more about college 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:56 pm 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is offline 8:57 pm 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) a text message 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was school like after that? 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
While my grades still continued to be A Average, and I made the Dean's List later, it went downhill emotionally there for me... 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
About August, 2003, that was when I realized I heavily required a girlfriend, and I started my Sweetheart Search. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I hung around with the old sign next to me. And as they say on the Cwcki, which originated from my own words... 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats the sign they asked you to remove, right? 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
And that battle started; I got kicked out of PVCC for one year, with anger management and psychiatrist visits during then. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was anger management like? 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
After my return, I shut up and finished my courses towards getting my degree. Which was the complete opposite of my Graduation at Manchester High; I was HAPPY to be leaving that hell-hole that was Piedmont Virginia Community College. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Anger Management was like a Coping skills class. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you sent there? what was your confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh like before you started it? 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
learning ways to cope with our anger, finding other resolutions to solve our problems, etc. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
first, she came up to me and told me the sign was bothering her, and she said it bothered some other people. I told her I was on my quest for a girlfriend, then she tore it up. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so how did you respond to that? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Later, I recreated the signs, one by one, and finding other methods of attraction paper-wise. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Then in March of the following year, I had to meet her in her office, and I got angry at her then. yada, yada, yada; anger management and all that. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but wait 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what happened in that office meeting? 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you express your anger 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I gtg; my mother wants to go out and get something to eat and wants me to go with her. 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I pretended I was talking with Sonichu, and he talked through me, and I cursed Mary with a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack. 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you do it loudly? 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you stand up and do the full hand motions? 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
that was back in '04 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what did sonichu say to you 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
in this conversation 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not remember. 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have to go. 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
but when I remember that event more, I will inform you about it. 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'll email you about it, that way you can write me a response when you have time tomorrow 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where are you going now? 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have to out with my mother so she can get something to eat; it is night, and she feels safer with me. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok. well, goodnight 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
she does not like going out alone. 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I enjoyed talking with you some more. :) h 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
me too :-) :-) :-) 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I am happy you liked the poem I sent you earlier. 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww... 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. :-* h 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
love you too 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
Stay Safe, Sweetheart. 
[9:11 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
goodnight~ ~ ~ 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 4

2010-11-06T05:12:30Z

Lime: Adding category.

This chat took place on 1 [[October 2010]].

[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, Sweetheart. :-* h 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello ~ ~ ~ 
[7:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've just uploaded the new direct to Lars video; you can go check it out now. 
[7:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh! 
[7:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
I call him a Jivin' Turkey. 
[7:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
give me a sec to watch 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
ok 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D 
[7:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
You like that, huh? 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i loved it! 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thank you so much 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that'll really grind his gears 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
LOL 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
where did you hear that expression? 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
not sure where it comes from, i've heard people say it 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool; I've first heard of it from the Family Guy movie. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh. wonder where they stole it from 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
IDK; I've been wondering that as well. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they like to steal a lot of dumb stuff on that show. 
[7:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seth macfarlane cant seem to come up with anything original 
[7:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sometimes the story plots are original. 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i used to watch it when it first premiered when it was good, but nowadays all it is about is stewie being gay, that dog promoting gay marriage, or seth macfarlane making fun of christians 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i stopped watching it 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like within the first season or two of the show. 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see. Well, I still watch it; it is a funny show. 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
They just showed the season premiere for the 9th season; a one hour special of a "Who Done It" Mystery. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, i guess its funny if you still think fart jokes are funny 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and gay jokes 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
It's not just the comedy, there are a few good points throughout that I can relate to as well. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like the episode where Meg goes to prison 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
don't you have a problem with the scathing criticism of christianity the show promotes, though? 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
While it tends to be a stereotype to prisoners; they do mostly get toughened up after their time there. 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seth macfarlane is a militant anti-christian 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I turn a blind eye to those parts. 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but i thought that you had a major problem with people who commit sins like that 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
BTW, in case you missed the episode, he revealed that Lois came from a Jewish family; it does suit her though; her voice actress, Alex Borsteen, is jewish. 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
of course i missed it, i've missed it for seven years because i stopped watching it 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but like, i know you dont like homosexuality, but the show is a major supporter of homosexual rights 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have my feelings against what people do sometimes, but they're going to do it anyway. 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see those jokes as a hit on the gays, and I turn a blind eye there. Also, when two dudes making out is portrayed, I look away. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean, a hit on the gays? 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
a Comical hit on them; making fun. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the show makes hits on christians a lot meaner, though 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
seth supports gays but he thinks christians are all going to hell. 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I understand that. He only makes those jokes for the sake of comedy, so I do not hold it against him. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should look up his personal politics. he really, really hates christians 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats part of the reason i stopped watching, because he cant stop putting his stupid personal politics into the show 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, that is his opinion, and he is welcome to it. 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so arrogant of a creator to insert themselves like that so much in what was once an innocent, entertaining creation 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well anyway 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thanks for sending me your interview today! 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
sounds like me and my comics. 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
resume i mean 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i keep confusing those two words 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I will admit I took it a bit far of myself then as well. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did the interview go? 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
The interview went good; I left a good and delightful impression on the interviewer; who was the area supervisor of the restaurant. 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well thats good! 
[7:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of questions did they ask you? 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
He informed me later of the manager's name, and told me that he has received over a hundred applications, and has already hired 40 people who are training at other locations. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Let me recollect... 
[7:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
He asked me about why I was let go at Wendys; I told him it was due to them having hiring too many people, and they must have thought I was an expendable individual, and I do not think I am expendable, so they let me go. ... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is that what happened? 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
With that, I told him that in a year, I see myself still working there for him and being their most valued employee. 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes and no... 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean? 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes the Wendy's store continued to hire more and more people... 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, because the manager then just didn't like me... 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you sure nothing happened? its rare to find a manager who would fire a person just because they dont like them personally. 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did a few things that made me look immature, like this one time, I was taking a bunch of garbage out to the dumpster, and I hit one of the bags on the back of my head... 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that sounds just like a simple accident. i doubt that would get you fired 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I washed off my hair, my hat and my shirt before returning to work; I later learned I could have just asked for a replacement hat and shirt. oops. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how did you dry your shirt? were you just soaking wet when you walked out of the bathroom? 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, there was this disagreement between me and one female employee; we did not see eye-to-eye, and she was mean-spirited. 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I shook off the shirt to dry it. 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was not soaking. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did you take the shirt off? 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
when washing it? 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
I had the restroom to myself. 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was your disagreement with your female co-worker about? 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
nowadays, I would not do that again; I know better. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
essentially, she was a mean-spirited, mid-volume woman who gave me bad times with criticisms, insults and whatnot. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
And after those ceased, and things were calming down, the manager... 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
was waiting for an opportunity to fire me... 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you have evidence they didn't like you, or are you just assuming all this 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
he got his opportunity one night after watching a family with a tired child crying; I did nothing to cause him to cry, he WAS tired. And I offered to get a top for their potato so they could take it with them. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you must have done something to anger management. they wont fire employees for no reason. 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
the manager thought I had done my Donald Duck voice for the child and made him cry, which was not the case. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
are you sure the woman and the manager weren't just telling you to do something, or annoyed that you had failed to do something? 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
Because the next day, he gave me the pink slip. 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, it was back in 2001; I do not remember. 
[8:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
all of what they said. 
[8:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you remember that they were mean-spirited well enough. 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, their attitude stayed with me. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but what you did didnt stay with you? 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they were running a business. you may have interpreted their attitude as being mean, but maybe they were just stressed from trying to keep the place running. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I remember what I did; I'm just having trouble remembering some of them. 
[8:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
either you remember what you did or you didnt. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
upon retrospect, you are right. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i only ask because you seem to assume people are being unfairly mean to you an awful lot. so i wanted to make sure you might not have done something yourself 
[8:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
Also, I was only a busboy, and at times when there were NO tables, floor, garbage or trays to clean, I didn't stand around; I took a seat for a few minutes now and then. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you usually arent allowed to sit at jobs like that 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there's always something to do in a restaurant. 
[8:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that might be it right there 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've learned from all that, and I'm not going to repeat those mistakes again. I realized that after I got fired. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
The Wendys in Ruckersville often had few customers. 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you just spent a good chunk of time telling me your firing wasnt your fault... 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so i'm not so sure you did learn from it 
[8:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but anyway, did you get the job at mcdonalds? 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did learn from my mistakes. 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't know yet; they will call me in a week or less; they don't open up until the 19th. 
[8:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
they still have to sort out the other details, like a background check and such. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well good luck! 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
background check should be fine, you dont have felonies or anythign 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
At least he has my character references, including Elizabeth and Rocky. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, i noticed you had another reference named Tony Wayne? 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I pray he does not give the dang Cwcki a look. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
who is that? 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
brb 
[8:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm back 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
Tony, for a long time, was the Gym Leader at the Pok'emon TCG League at the Game Place. He was a family man with a wife, son and two daughters; Tyler was the oldest; Briana was the middle child, and Caitlyn was the youngest. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
Tony is also a Physics teacher at Albemarle High School. 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
A while after I was kicked out of the Place, Tony handed the torch of Gym Leader to someone else. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you think he remembers you? its been a while since you've talked, right? 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
YES, he will remember me. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
He and I had a few good conversations. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how long ago? 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you spoken recently? 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I gave Tyler, Briana and Caitlyn a fun Christmas Present (the one before I was forced to leave). 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
I made the three children their own custom My Little Pony figures. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
complete hair change and paint job. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did they like them? 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[8:16 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what do you mean by hair change 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I took out the original hair the figures had and rooted in bunches of thread strands to make new hair. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so anyway, i knew you spent a lot of time at the game place, but i didnt realize you were employed there. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what was your hourly pay? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
Mostly brown or blonde or black to match the person the pony was going to. 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was not employed. 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
? 
[8:17 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your resume says you were employed there, though 
[8:18 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was going to the League, and I was a Volunteer Assistant Gym Leader (and substitute Gym Leader). 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, so you were just there playing childrens card games? 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why'd you put it on your resume then? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
I still did a lot of work, making sure the people and children kept in control and did not cause chaos. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, sometimes, I had to put together their own playable decks from their scratch collections. 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
It did get stressful. 
[8:19 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you were playing with childrens card games. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am into Pok'emon as well; I thought that was obvious. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah i know you like pokemon, i'm just trying to figure out what work you did 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
and it was NOT just for children; teens and adults play the game too. 
[8:20 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did play the game. 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
as well 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i have a cousin with aspergers who LOVES pokemon cards. 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he mostly collects them though, doesnt play much 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
likes the shiny colors, he says 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
Has he thought of looking for a League to join, so he can trade and play. 
[8:21 pm] '''CWC:'''
? 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'm not sure 
[8:21 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
his mom is getting him more involved in sports now, he's kind of growing out of it i think 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
I see. 
[8:22 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so did the parents of these kids obtain your services as a babysitter then? 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
during those two hours, you could have considered me a babysitter. 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
as well 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
two hours a week 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did the parents consider you a babysitter>
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
did the game place consider you an employee? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
maybe, maybe not (on the parents); no T.G.P. did not consider me an employee 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you listed yourself as employed there on your resume 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but really, you were just going to hang out and play pokemon cards once a week? 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
Volunteer work is considered work just the same. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you didnt say volunteer work on the resume, you said you worked there 
[8:25 pm] '''CWC:'''
and I've just told you what I did there. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, you played pokemon cards 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats not really volunteer work. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i mean, you go to the mall a lot and there are children there, are you babysitting every time you're at the mall? 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
AND kept the children and teens in order and made sure there was little chaos. 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but wasnt the reason you got kicked out of the game place because you were causing disruptions yourself? 
[8:27 pm] '''CWC:'''
that, and Michael just plain hated me. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so again, you're assuming someone hated you 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just like the manager at wendy's 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would he hate you? what reason would he have? 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
the only reasons Michael could have hated me, was ONCE or Twice, I did get loud when everything was getting chaotic and confusing soo bad, that I'd just explode in a lout shout. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of shout? 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
And there was that time with me writing that message about him loving Mary. 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
see, there you go 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you did something bad to him 
[8:29 pm] '''CWC:'''
just an "AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why would you do that? 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
were children frightened? 
[8:29 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe thats also why you were kicked out 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, that was established. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you screamed at children, and you vandalized the bathroom wall 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is that right? 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I was just soo stressed out, and things were too chaotic and lout. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did not write on the walls. 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I wrote that message on a small piece of cardboard. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where was the cardboard 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was on the side of a card-holding box. 
[8:31 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
in the front of the store? on the counter? 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
by myself, away from everyone at the time, and I put the box in the bin of Pok'emon stuff that stays in the back room most of the time. 
[8:31 pm] '''CWC:'''
outside of League time. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you vandalized store property with threatening messages 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how many other people were doing that, and screaming at kids? 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
because if that was common and only you got kicked out, then it would seem like you were unfairly singled out 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
JEEZE! this was YEARS ago; can we hold up on new questions until after I address the previous ones, please? 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what previous questions? i'm trying to find out why you got kicked out of the game place 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
dont get so snappy with me 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
After I shouted, it did become quiet. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess the children were frightened. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
But I was trying to call order in the place. 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you trying to call order if you werent an employee? 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
It wasn't store property; it was a cardboard box someone used and left behind. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
a league member. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
werent all the kids league members? 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
No one else did any vandalizing or screaming. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I wrote that message that day, because I had brought my Wii, where before then it WAS okay to hook it up to their working flat-screen TV. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
On this day, Michael said NO, and I was very angry at him. 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
Children were missing out on receiving a Magmorter, Electivre and Surfing Pikachu for thier Diamond/Pearl game cards. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
There was Chaos in the place; I was stressed out; I was clouded and could not think, so I exploded. Often I am a lot better than that. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why were you there if it was so stressful to be there? 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
Some of the League Members were Teenagers AND Adults. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
Most of the time it was NOT stressful. 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is idle 8:38 pm 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah but still 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay, I've answered the questions, please keep it one question at a time. 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds like mike snyder was mad that you were trying to be the boss of the pokemon game 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yeah, okay, upon retrospect I can see that, so I agree with that statement. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well see? there you go 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you said you learned from what happened at wendy's, but you applied the exact same mentality to what happened at the game place 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so do you agree now that mike snyder had a reason to kick you out? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, most of the time I was very civil, and it was mostly calm and peaceful. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so that makes it okay to scare children sometimes and boss people around? 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, I agree Mike had a reason, yet I still have issues against him for kicking me out. 
[8:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what kind of issues? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
it was not that serious; the shouts only happened TWICE; no more. And I was trying to keep everyone at peace and things calm. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe he didnt want the shouts to happen a third time 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
A), on the day I was kicked out, my mother came with me... 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
and when we went into the back room, HE DID NOT OFFER HER A CHAIR AT ALL. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why did he have to? 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
And he would not allow me to get a chair from the inside area for her. 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
SHE's an old woman. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he had just kicked you out. its understandable he didnt want you going in the back area, isnt it? 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
we WERE in the back area; I was getting a chair from the League Area. 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, he probably still had his issues against you 
[8:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for screaming at his customers 
[8:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
Still, he did not have to relay it onto my mother; he could and Should have offered her a chair. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you didnt have to try to boss around the pokemon game, but you still did 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
B) he kicked me out before, but only for a short while. 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:45 pm 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so maybe the first time he banned you was a warning, then. what did you do after you came back? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was Assistant Gym Leader; I kept things in order when Tony was not able to. 
[8:45 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
was one of the screams between the two bans? 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
HE was my superior in the League. 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
no. 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, you said you werent actually employed though 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
either Tony was your boss or he wasnt 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and in any case, mike snyder was in charge of the store. he was hosting the pokemon league, so he would have been above tony 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
well, he was NOT an employee of T.G.P. either; he was a Volunteer too, but he was a higher Volunteer, and I respected him as such. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you didnt respect mike snyder, your host? 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, I guess he was above Tony. 
[8:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
but Mike had LITTLE to do with the League, Period. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it was his store. he had everything to do with it 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
he did not participate in any of the activities. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what? 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, he was one of the Coming in-an-out people; the League was in session LONG before he showed up. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
ever 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so what? it was his store 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why does when he started working there matter? he was hired to be the boss. were you hired to be the boss of the pokemon game? 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Point is; he was not around long enough to get my respects, and I did not see him as a :"Presidentially Important" individual, like a Police man. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
why does what you saw him as matter? it was HIS store 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was hired to be Assistant Gym Leader by the Gym Leader, yes. 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you were employed? how much did it pay? 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you're confusing me. either you were an employee or you werent. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was not payed. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you werent hired 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hired = job 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
It was VOLUNTEER WORK. 
[8:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Volunteers at the SPCA do not get paid, but they get HIRED. 
[8:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
Vounteer = Job 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
job = pay 
[8:53 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris, if you were officially an employee of the pokemon league thing, wouldnt tony have stood up for you when mike tried to kick you out? 
[8:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Pay = Money; Money Varies; A job can have No Pay. 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no it cant 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a job pays money 
[8:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats what a job is 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris, it sounds like you are trying really, really, really hard to find a way to blame mike snyder for everything and absolve yourself of all wrongdoing. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
that stands in contradiction to your claim that you learned your lesson from what happened at wendys 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not mean to sound like that, and I understand blaming anyone does NOT absolve anyone of any doings. 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
My mind has Matured more since then, and from all of the Troll Encounters. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you still blame mike snyder for what happened. 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
I wish to move forward from all this. 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you havent ever once just admitted "yes, i goofed. i screamed at children, and i tried to boss people around even though i wasnt an official employee. i understand those things are wrong." 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Blame him for Kicking me out and being a Mean-Spirited Individual; I do not blame him for my own actions. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how can you blame him if he did what was justified? 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, I did goof up a lot. 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
those details considered. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you steal a video game and a cop catches you and arrests you for theft, do you "blame" the cop for doing it? 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
No. A) I would never do such a thing, but if I did, it would be MY Fault; no one elses. 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, isnt getting kicked out of the game place your fault then too? 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
The "A)" was not required. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah, I guess it was my fault I got kicked out the "Place" also. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
My own fault for shooting myself in the foot, metaphorically, a LOT in my whole lifetime. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I am sick and tired of that expression, "Shooting myself in the foot." 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
then maybe you should stop using it 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is idle 9:01 pm 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
Aside from "Naive" being my Least favorite word of all time, "Shooting myself in the foot" is my Least favorite expression. 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 9:02 pm 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but it accurately describes the fact that getting kicked out of the game place was your own doing 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
My father used it earlier today after I had left the job interview; he claimed that expression on me for saying the manager of Wendy's "thought I was EXPENDABLE." 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
He went and raised his voice at me and used the expression over and over because of that ONE WORD... 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Even though the interview was emotionally Positive,and I left a Positive Impression aside from that one word... 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
He picks a fight with me for using that word. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but on the other hand, he lets you live in his house and pays off your rampant debts, so i'd say you owe him some breathing room 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
*sigh* 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, i have an idea 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for one of your october videos 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
uh huh 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
now that you see that mike snyder wasnt to blame, maybe one of your videos could be you admitting that you got kicked out because of your own actions, and you recognize he wasnt at fault? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
that is fair. I will do that. 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:D h 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe if he sees it, he might be willing to lift the ban, too 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i bet all he's ever wanted was an honest admission of guilt and an apology 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should make that one of your videos this weekend! 
[9:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I doubt he'd ever lift the ban or even have an ounce of good will towards me after all that... 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, its worth a shot 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
plus the more recent events of me going there personally and asking him to let me back in... 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, but last time you didnt admit to being wrong. 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
and taking a photograph of him through the store window to use as a dartboard. 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
and getting caught heavily then. 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, he might have interpreted that as threatening 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but in any case, making this video will be good for you even apart from him 
[9:07 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it will be good to release your anger and your hate 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I guess. 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you should make that your first video tomorrow! 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i cant wait to see it 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
right now, I'm feeling tired from the discussion. 
[9:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
Okay, I will make it the first video. 
[9:08 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
can I get away with NO costume for this one video out of 31? 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, thats ok 
[9:09 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for serious videos like this, you dont need a costume 
[9:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it would take away from the gravitas of your statement 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I agree. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, werent you going to show the picture of Lars in a squash suit and then rip the picture up? 
[9:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
I did that. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it looked like you cut a lot out of the final video. was that in the part that you cut out? 
[9:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
hang on. 
[9:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do you still have the uncut video? could you send it to me? 
[9:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
Oh, shit! I did cut it out; I messed up in the editing. 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oops! :-) 
[9:12 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll delete this one, and fix it right away. 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
just upload the whole thing 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or send the whole thing to me, too 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
no, I'll reupload it after I fix it. 
[9:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I gtg, but aside from the discussion, I appreciated and enjoyed our talk. 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
:) h 
[9:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
me too :-) 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. 
[9:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
love you too ~ ~ ~ 
[9:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
bye! 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
:-* h 
[9:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
Sweetest dreams. 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]

Jackie Chat 3

2010-11-06T05:11:02Z

Lime:

This chat took place on 30 [[September 2010]].

[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 7:40 pm 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
<3 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hey, Jackie. :) h 
[7:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hello ~ ~ ~ 
[7:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
How was your day? 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
long and stressful 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
lots of homework :-( 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
classes were hard? 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, they're getting ther 
[7:41 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hang in there; you'll pull through greatly. ;) h 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've had an okay day. 
[7:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've applied online for a cashier job at the new McD today; the manager called me a couple of hours to schedule an interview tomorrow. :D h 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-D :-D :-D 
[7:43 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats great! 
[7:44 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've got the resume put together; I only need to retype the "Job Objectives", and I will wear a green shirt for the interview. 
[7:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, could i see a copy of your interview? i'm curious 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I've heard on John Tesh's Radio show that when going to a job interview, wear green, because when the boss sees green, he/she thinks good money. 
[7:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
or something like that anyway. 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
copy of your resume i mean, not interview 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
do you mean a copy of my resume? 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
typo :-) 
[7:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll e-mail it to you later after I retype the J.O. part. 
[7:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok! 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just checked my e-mail; some troll pretened to be Lars "Luxor"; what a kook! LOL 
[7:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
speaking of Lars, guess what I got in the mail today? 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like as if I would fall for a Troll's Ploy. 
[7:47 pm] '''CWC:'''
a letter from him? 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
a toy boat made out of popsickle sticks 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
close enough. 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
with a condom for the sail 
[7:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
fresh or used? 
[7:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
fresh. but it was one of those lubricated kinds, so it feels all oily 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
yep. either way, I'd say dang. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its a magnum too 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wanted to remind me that he's black 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I use Trojan. 
[7:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
I wasnt impressed by his little gift. 
[7:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
I would not be either. did it come with a letter? 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah. 
[7:50 pm] '''CWC:'''
what was the subject of the letter? 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he said a bunch of stuff. 
[7:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
mostly 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
Like a "Come back to me, baby?", "I'm soo sorry for being selfish" or something like that? 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he said he hoped i was feeling better after the recent video i had you made 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
??? 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and that he still has lingering regrets from the violence i made you show 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i wrote back to tell him once again that i hated him 
[7:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
That violence was voluntary; you did not make me do it. 
[7:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and that my message should be clear 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Hells yeah, Sweetheart! :D h 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i also told him not to do that again, ever. I wasn't impressed with his little boat. I threw it away 
[7:52 pm] '''CWC:'''
Good for you. 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
magnum sail and all 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
as big as his dick was, it wasn't worth it 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
his problem was always his ego 
[7:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he's so full of himself that no matter how clearly i tell him its over, he still thinks he can just wear me down and get me to come back to him 
[7:53 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear that; too big for the britches he was tryin' to front. 
[7:54 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
hey, could you make one more video and direct it at him? 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear you; like in this episode of "Stacked" where Pamela was in the same situation... it was the one where she was trying to get her grandmother's watch back I'm thinking of, but there was also a similar story in the Pilot. 
[7:54 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes. 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i'd like you to tell him once again that he wasted all his money on stupid boats and that i left him because he would never take me out because of it 
[7:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
tell him that i got fed up with all the boats all over the goddamned apartment, half of them not even taken out of their package because he just bought them for the sake of buying them 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'll shout it out directly to him that you are soo over him. And I'll put more pain into it; I'll hump a bit, telling that I'll be doing that with you from now on. YEAH!!! 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and this time, you don't have to try to be civil. be smug, laugh in his face, anything like that. you tried to be civil last time and he just ignored you. all he understands is bluntness 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
And yes I will tell him about how he valued boats over you. 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes!!! thats perfect!! 
[7:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
do all of that 
[7:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
Oh, Yeah! 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, and maybe you should show his picture up close in the video. i think he wouldnt expect you to do that, he probably thought only you would see it when he showed it 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he'll be really surprised if you show it publically 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
Good idea. 
[7:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
like, show the picture, and then maybe draw a stupid mustache on it or something, and then rip it in half 
[7:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
Perhaps the Trolls will dub him the New "Black Man in the Pickle Suit". 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
lol 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
he was always more of a gourd man 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Or, I can make a cut-out pickle suit to put over everything but his face, THEN tear it all to pieces. 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh, that would be nice! 
[7:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
gourd... that's like a Squash, right? 
[7:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah 
[7:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I thought so. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
give him a pickle suit or a squash suit 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
whichever strikes your fancy. 
[7:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is idle 7:59 pm 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
How about a pickle suit and a squash hat; in a pickle suit, it will really make two birds with one stone, because that will be a strike against the trolls too. 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
*and a squash hga 
[8:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
*hat 
[8:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i kind of like the idea of a squash suit. and call him the "man in the squash suit" too. the trolls will know its about them too because pickles and squash are related 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think I can work with that. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
:-) 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
cool. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ugh 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
those damn boats 
[8:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[8:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
would you believe he bought paint and accessory kits for boats he didn't even own? 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I hear that. 
[8:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Actually, I can relate. 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is available 8:02 pm 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
On the PlayStation Store, I checked-out a bunch of FREE Add-Ons for games I don't have the games for, so they're just sitting there in my queue, very likely NOT to be downloaded. 
[8:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ah, i thought you were going to mention your dad 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
At least I did not have to pay for any of those. 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, him too with his model planes, and he sometimes heavily splurges on himself with something expensive, like a new used car for himself, like his Honda, an HDTV, and a few other things. 
[8:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
But he did get good deals on those when he bought them. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, you should mention that sort of thing in the video 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Still, spends more on himself then than he does for mom. 
[8:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd rather not. 
[8:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no? 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
I already am on his bad side with how much I've already revealed on the internet, between nude photos and videos of myself, and Especially the videos touring the house. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
Greene County could kick us out of the house for heavy fire hazards with all that junk my family hoarded. 
[8:06 pm] '''CWC:'''
What I have out of all that is a pale comparison; boxes of toys. They pale in comparison to Heavy, Bulky Furniture, like a couch my mother insists she'll place and use, but she will not. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd like to just store all of that stuff in a shed, or have it all donated to Goodwill, but I can't because my mother would throw fits against me and then some. Maybe even buy all that stuff back. 
[8:08 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I have suggested before Storing it all, but neither parent will go for that. 
[8:09 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
aww, poor baby... :-( 
[8:10 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yeah. It makes ONLY a few rooms of the house accessible. 
[8:10 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, you could always get your own place 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
I estimate... about half of the total rooms have space to even walk through, and my room is the roomiest in comparison. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
Not yet; lack of funds for one thing, and I have a lot of ties to this house and my family. The only way I would be able to move out is A) when I can actually afford to or B) hang out at my girlfriend's place. 
[8:11 pm] '''CWC:'''
Are your parents similar to mine in that characteristic? 
[8:12 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
no, mine are fairly clean 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
You are lucky, plus I'm certain they're a lot younger than mine. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
they're in their 50's, yeah 
[8:13 pm] '''CWC:'''
Robert and Barbara; 83 and (about to turn on Friday) 69 respectively. 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, once you get the job at mcdonalds, you'll be rolling in cash 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh, wish her happy birthday! 
[8:13 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
for me 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, I'll be able to better pay my family back more quickly, plus have more pocket money for myself. 
[8:14 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think I've told you about me being able to make 980 a month and keep my SSI; we've had a discussion about that, I think. 
[8:14 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, i rememeber that 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
A slight exageration. 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
For every Two Dollars I make OVER the 980 limit, they take away ONE Dollar from my SSI. 
[8:15 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and as you get settled into a job, you can get yourself off the welfare and supporting yourself entirely! 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
IF I was making 1000 a month, they'd take away 
[8:15 pm] '''CWC:'''
come to think of it, it's not as bad as I had thought before. 
[8:16 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, once you get a full-time job you wont need the SSI anymore anyway, right? 
[8:17 pm] '''CWC:'''
Maybe, if I was making like 2600-3000 a month, in which case THAT would completely wipe out my SSI. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i dont mean if your job pays so much that it puts your SSI at zero. 
[8:18 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i meant that if you get a full-time job, you wont have a reason to be on SSI in the first place, right? 
[8:19 pm] '''CWC:'''
Firstly, my family worked really hard to get me on it in the first place nearly a decade ago; once I say NO and get rid of it, I may never have that safety net ever again. Plus, at even 1000 a month from the job, add 800 to that, and that still makes a good 1800 a month. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
chris, no one else gets that sort of safety net. 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you have a full-time job why would you need it 
[8:20 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
SSI is meant for people who are unable to work. but that isnt true in your case. 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, on one hand, you are right, I would not require the SSI upon having a job... (hang on I have more, which is what I mean by "...") 
[8:22 pm] '''CWC:'''
but on the other hand, having that option is a Rarity, and it is a major blessing to me to even have it. 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sounds more like fraud than a blessing, but if thats how you look at it... 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
wait, here, i'm reading the SSI application form: 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it says 
[8:23 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"For the state agency to decide that you are disabled, your medical condition must significantly limit your ability to do basic work activities—such as walking, sitting and remembering—for at least one year. " 
[8:23 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus the job market is fickle; there is a chance I may get fired even by a technicality. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you are able to walk, sit, and remember well enough. you can do other more complex things too 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'm sure my father had read that rule as well, but he found a loophole. 
[8:24 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so he committed fraud? 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not know, but I do not think it would be called a fraud. 
[8:24 pm] '''CWC:'''
If it was a fraud, then it would have stopped years ago. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, if he lied, thats fraud 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sometimes they dont catch it. 
[8:25 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the rule says you have to be incapable of basic tasks. you are not incapable of basic tasks. therefore you should be working 
[8:26 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
besides, you always say you want to be taken seriously and accepted as an equal because of your high functioning autism, but nobody else who is equal to normal people needs SSI 
[8:26 pm] '''CWC:'''
I feel uncertain on how to address those details, and I am not ignoring the issue. I will talk with my father about it, and I will have a better answer for it then. 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know low-functioning autistics who take tickets at the movie theaters or things like that, they hold down jobs 
[8:27 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sweetie, are you actually low-functioning? you can tell me, i wont judge 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
I was classified "High-Functioning"; that's all I know. Yet sometimes it does take me a while to fully think the details. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
thats all you know? i would think you would be more curious to know your own medical and legal status 
[8:28 pm] '''CWC:'''
And I am still classified as high-functioning from a more current test just a few years ago. 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, then, you dont need your SSI 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so once you get a full-time job, you can get off of it! :-) 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you mentioned earlier that sometimes people lose their jobs for dumb reasons, and its true that that happens 
[8:28 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but thats what unemployment is for. it holds you over til you get a new job 
[8:30 pm] '''CWC:'''
I do not know all of the details, and processing all of this is making me feel uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if I can have time later to think further and process all of this to feel better able to accept and address it. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, its ok if you need time to think up answers. 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ooh i know!! 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
your first video for the October contest can be your answer! 
[8:30 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you could take a few minutes and explain why you think you need/deserve your SSI 
[8:32 pm] '''CWC:'''
I don't feel I can come up with an answer that quick, plus again, I do not want to reveal too much more information to the Trolls, and that IS a Private Detail. 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well i've asked you about this before though, months ago 
[8:32 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you havent thought anything new up in all that time? 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and im not asking you to reveal sensitive data. the trolls already know you're on SSI, you could just explain why you feel you deserve it 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
Well, I do have a new detail I will confide in you. 
[8:33 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh? 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have talked to my father a bit about it... 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
And he has informed me that he feels not confident in my own Social abilities outside the house. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
Plus, again, the information I've revealed on the internet before were of NO help towards his feelings about me. 
[8:33 pm] '''CWC:'''
either 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well i'll quote again for emphasis: 
[8:34 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
" For the state agency to decide that you are disabled, your medical condition must significantly limit your ability to do basic work activities—such as walking, sitting and remembering—for at least one year. " 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the state has determined that is the cutoff point for a person to receive SSI 
[8:35 pm] '''CWC:'''
Socializing is a basic work activity, and Autism is a Social Anxiety. 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you socialize with me well enough 
[8:35 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
if you can go into mcdonalds and order without causing problems, how is it any harder to be on the other side of the counter? 
[8:36 pm] '''CWC:'''
Yes, with few people, like you, after getting to know you better, and that you made the first contact with me with a pure friendly gesture, I felt comfortable talking with you. 
[8:37 pm] '''CWC:'''
let me think about that a moment... 
[8:37 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well when you're working a job, people will be coming up to you all the time to start conversations 
[8:38 pm] '''CWC:'''
When I order, generally, I'm not making eye-contact, I know or am thinking of what I want to order, I order it; little conversation is made... 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but you can do more basic things like walk, sit, and remember 
[8:38 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and not all jobs require you to talk to customers anyway. get a job that doesnt make you 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
On Taking someone's order, I Listen very well, I take it down accurately, I take the money, I give the correct change, I give the food to the correct customer; I don't have to make much conversation. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you could be one of those heavyweights that stocks shelves or something 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you know that you can work. 
[8:39 pm] '''CWC:'''
No, I need to practice being social, especially at work. 
[8:39 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well you cant practice without having a job in the first place 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
I feel I can work and stand for hours. 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
Exactly. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
there you go! 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
problem seolved 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
*solved i mean 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you're looking forward to your interview tomorrow? 
[8:40 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes I am. 
[8:40 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
I'm sure your mom and dad are rooting for you too 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Regardless of comfort, I will make constant eye-contact with my interviewer and be polite. I've done this before in past interviews as well. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
Concentrated (forced) self-control. 
[8:41 pm] '''CWC:'''
I think I'll do well in the interview. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is your mom or dad driving you, since your car is in the shop? 
[8:42 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, my father will be driving me. 
[8:42 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well good luck! :-) 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Thank you. :) h 
[8:43 pm] '''CWC:'''
Let's talk about your ideas for my TrollBuster Pilot comic to wrap this up. 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
ok 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
have you drawn any pages yet? looked like you had the plot pretty cemented 
[8:44 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
done any storyboarding? 
[8:45 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have not drawn any pages yet, and the storyboarding is in my head; still I have the save game photos of the Truck, Cal and Dee Dee. 
[8:46 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
oh, so you havent done anything yet 
[8:46 pm] '''CWC:'''
I just need more ideas for specific topics. not yet. 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
maybe you can use some of the unused sonichu plots you have saved up 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i know you had tons of plotlines, years worth, you had been planning to use right? 
[8:47 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
now that you've decided to end sonichu, you can still use some of those plotlines 
[8:48 pm] '''CWC:'''
I have not ended Sonichu; I only lost inspiration to draw, thanks to the people online. 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so you just decided to not pay attention to it anymore? 
[8:48 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
or are you going to have both comics going at once? that'll be tough 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
Right now, I'm concentrating on this one Pilot Comic for the TrollBusters. 
[8:49 pm] '''CWC:'''
It's going to be a P.A. book as well. 
[8:49 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
here's an idea for a plotline: 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
how about your trollbusters get a call from a victim 
[8:50 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
the victim was called to go on a first date with a girl at burger king 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay 
[8:51 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
but when he got there, turned out it was a plot 
[8:51 pm] '''CWC:'''
ooh. and then what? 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
it was trolls who wanted to steal his pendant, which was a family heirloom handed down for generations 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and so the trollbusters have to go hunt down the thieves and get it back 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and at the end they find out that the trolls they beat were just flunkies of more powerful trolls that they would face in the future. 
[8:52 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i figure its kind of something you could relate to because trolls tried to get your medallion, so your feelings could go into it easier 
[8:55 pm] '''CWC:'''
that is good, and yes. But I'm not sure about the pendant being the stolen item; I feel it is TOO Close to home, and it does sound trite. But it can be an actual item, perhaps a Golden Pocket Watch. 
[8:55 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yeah, a golden pocket watch would work fine too 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
very good. :) h 
[8:56 pm] '''CWC:'''
next question is Where the Trolls are? 
[8:56 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
uh... 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
should they be in the US, or should they be in another country? 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
make up a country for them 
[8:57 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
"Trollvania" 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
LOL 
[8:57 pm] '''CWC:'''
yeah 
[8:58 pm] '''CWC:'''
Another country is good, then they can show off their Sponsored Private Plane they fly in to take their truck with them. 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
sponsored by whom? 
[8:58 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
which corporation 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say Jet, but a Private Jet is more lightweight, IMHO. Sponsored by me and the city of Cwcville. 
[8:59 pm] '''CWC:'''
Cal and Dee^2's home base is in Cwcville. 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
where does CWCville get such funding from? 
[8:59 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
costs a lot to run a jet 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes, but they don't use it that often; a lot of the trolls are found in the USA. 
[9:00 pm] '''CWC:'''
CWC (ChrisChanSonichu) is idle 9:00 pm 
[9:00 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what is the tax rate in CWCville? what is sales tax set at 
[9:01 pm] '''CWC:'''
no more than anywhere else. 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
its different everywhere, though 
[9:01 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
what are CWCville's primary industries? 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
That type of detail does not compute with me. I'm not sure... 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
I'd say something like New York's Prime Industries. 
[9:02 pm] '''CWC:'''
Cwcville is a Metropolis with Suburbs. 
[9:02 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
so does CWCville have a lot of jews and immigrants, like new york? 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes. 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
is CWCville on the Dow, the NASDAQ, or the SNP500? 
[9:03 pm] '''CWC:'''
??? 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
you know, the stock exchange 
[9:03 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
with all those jews that's going to be an important factor 
[9:04 pm] '''CWC:'''
Why not? there are a LOT of big buildings there. 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
i see 
[9:04 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
well, i have to go soon, but i look forward to seeing that new Lars video tomorrow! 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
Okay, Sweetheart. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
I enjoyed talking with you some more. 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
One more question... 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
and i'd love to see the SSI video on friday 
[9:05 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
yes? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
can you describe to me what your voice sounds like? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
or can you name a celebrity who you feel you sound most like? 
[9:05 pm] '''CWC:'''
or sounds like you 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
kind of unique i think, i sound like myself 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
alright, well will you be available to talk tomorrow night? 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
yes I'll be available tomorrow night. 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
great! lets plan on it!! 
[9:06 pm] '''Jacklyn Romy:'''
okay, gotta go. goodnight sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
okay. 
[9:07 pm] '''CWC:'''
I Love You. :-* h 

{{-}}
{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Chatlogs]]