User:Luffe

2016-09-06T18:01:02Z

Luffe: Created page with "if i'm fucking up, please do tell me i'm not very capable, but i can transcript to the best of my abilities, i think"

if i'm fucking up, please do tell me

i'm not very capable, but i can transcript to the best of my abilities, i think

August 2016 Paid Video Requests

2016-09-06T17:58:52Z

Luffe:

{{transcript}}

This page lists the video requests that Chris was paid to do in August 2016.

He also read chapters 2-4 of [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"|"A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"]], although he denied getting paid for it.

==Singing "All of the Lights"==

Reminiscent of the [[SingStar Challenge]], Chris is requested to sing over a song selected by another person. Unsurprisingly, the parallels do not end there. Chris demonstrated nearly zero effort in preparing for this request; muddling the lyrics, souring the melody, and constantly fidgeting throughout the video.

{{Infobox/video
| name = Singing "All of the Lights"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|60narHHELHI}}
| stardate = 8 [[August 2016]]
| style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = White tomgirl with heart design
| previous = [[Machine Romans]]
| next = [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"#Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox| And now by paid request.

via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible
|A long transcript of Chris mostly singing|
[''Chris leans back into his chair, then awkwardly assumes an uncomfortable position.'']

Hello everybody! Here's another song, by paid request!

[''Chris hits a button on his PS4 controller and looks up at his out-of-shot TV. He grabs the remote, and the song'' All of the Lights ''by Kanye West featuring Rihanna and Kid Cudi starts playing. Chris weakly follows along to the lyrics of the song, fidgeting throughout the video.'']

All of the lights, all the lights, all the lights, lights, lights, lights, lights 
All of the lights 
All of the lights 
All of the lights 

-the lights-here, baby 
Turn 'em up extra bright, I want y'all to see this 
Turn up the lights in here, baby 
You know what I need 
Want you to see everything 
Want you to see turn off the lights 

Fast cars, shooing stars 

All the lights 
All of the lights 
Until it's Vegas everywhere we are 
All the lights 
All the lights 
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your liiife 
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your liiife 

Something 
I hold my head 
MJ gone, our nigga dead! 
I slapped my girl, she called the feds 
I did dat time and spent that bread 
I’m headin' home, I’m almost there 
I’m on my way headin' up the stairs 
To my surprise a nigga chasin' me 
I had to take 'em to the ghetto university 

All the lights 
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights 
Strobe lights, street lights 
All the lights 
All 
Fas' life, drug life 
Thug life, rock li- 
Every night 
All the lights 

-lights in here, baby 
Extra bright, I want y'all to see, see this 
Turn up the lights in here, baby 
You know what I need 
I want you see everything 
Want you see all the lights 

Ca-can’t see my daughter 
Her mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order 
-blic visitations 
We met at Borders 
Told her she take me back 
I’ll be more supportive 
I made mistakes 
I bump my head 
Courts stuck me dry 
I spent that bread 
She need a daddy 
Baby please, can’t let her grow up in that ghetto university 

-f the lights 
Cop lights, flash lights, spap (sic) lights 
Strobe lights, street lights 
[''Chris misses the two "All of the Lights here''] 
Fast life, drug life 
[''unintelligible''], lock life 
Every night 
All of the lights 

Turn up the lights in here, baby 
Estra briiight, want y'all to see this 
Turn up the lights in here, baby 
You know what I need 
Want you to see everything 
Want you to see all the lights 

-ine, baby 
Gotta let niggas know, yeah 
Get it right, ay 
should go and get your own, get your own 

Get mine, baby 
Gotta let them know, yeah, get it right 
Get it right, ay 
You should go and get your own 

There you go. Have a good day. Thank you.}}

==To Shelly==
A [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Too lazy to work|set of screenshots]] from Kiwi Farms user crayolasword show that Chris initially wanted to charge $10 for this video. However, after his work ethic was questioned, he made it for free, possibly so he could use it for his own advantage when he later made a Facebook post imploring any former Etsy customers to "take a good look at me in my latest video on my YouTube channel. I am feeling Very Tired..." (even though his shop got closed months ago for failing to send products).

{{Infobox/video
| name = To Shelly
| video = {{#ev:youtube|in30pzuMJFU}}
| stardate = 13 [[August 2016]]
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = Blue shirt
| previous = [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"#Chapter 2|Chapter 2]]
| next = [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, McKenna|Happy Birthday, McKenna]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
[''Chris leans back into his chair and retracts his hand from the bottom right of the frame. Throughout the video, he fidgets around, playing with his hair or moving his right hand around.'']

Ahhh, hello, this is Christine Chandler coming to you from my home once again, uhh, so hey, uh, Shelly from your husband, he definitely wishes you a happy birthday and I wish you a happy birthday too. M'kay? So, you turn another year older and another year wiser... That's good. Have a good day.

[''Chris leans forward and extends his hand to the bottom right of the frame.'']

==Happy Birthday, McKenna==
Chris lazily fulfills another boring birthday request. This time, he adds flair by including his cat [[Lucy]].

{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, McKenna
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Y1k4rcLaQUk}}
| stardate = 18 [[August 2016]]
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = Meh
| previous = [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, McKenna|Happy Birthday, McKenna]]
| next = [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing an ol' diddy|Singing an ol' diddy]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|By paid request.

via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris looks at his phone, which is down in his lap. [[Lucy]] is also in his lap, her head in the corner of the frame.'']

Hello McKenna, this is Christine Chandler, comin' to ya live from home, wishing you a happy birthday. I hope you have a great and safe one, and a great year.

[''Chris picks up the camera and moves it so that Lucy is facing the camera. Chris speaks in a much higher pitched voice.'']

Here's my cat, Lucy! Mew! She wishes you a good day, too! Don't ya, miss!

[''Chris turns the camera towards himself. He speaks in his normal voice now.'']

M'kay. Have a good day, McKenna.

==Singing an ol' diddy==
Chris sings his greatest hit, "[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", replacing the line, "I never want to hear you say, 'I have a boyfriend!'" to "I never want to hear you say, 'I'm already taken!'". Chris may have done this in order to be inclusive to [[homos|dykes]], thus widening the field of candidates — beyond heterosexual women — targeted by his original song.

A screenshot from Kiwi Farms user AZ09199976 shows that Chris made this video for free, as compensation for having failed to deliver a medallion sold through Etsy.

<center><gallery>
File:Chris etsy AZ09199976.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{Infobox/video
| name = Singing an ol' diddy
| video = {{#ev:youtube|pstOfo15Wxo}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2016]]
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| shirt = Blue tomgirl
| previous = [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, McKenna|Happy Birthday, McKenna]]
| next = [[Reading: "A Girl Who Brought Down the World", "And Apparently Survived a Housefire"#Chapter 3 and 4|Chapter 3 and 4]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible
|A long transcript of Chris mostly singing|
[''Chris sits in his bedroom. He is holding a piece of paper. In front of him, from left to right, are a Rosechu Amiibo, an Equestria Girls figurine, and a Sonichu amiibo.'']

Hmm. And now by, reque-[''Chris snaps'']-and now by special request, an ol' ditty, which I still have the handwritten lyrics to, [''Chris holds up the sheet of paper''] written over a decade ago. So, enjoy.

[''Chris hits a button on his PS4 controller. The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way" comes on, and Chris disinterestedly sings the lyrics to [[So Need A Cute Girl]]. Throughout the video, Chris looks and sounds bored. '']

Hey, Look at me, 
I'm sitting here sad and lonely, 

Without a fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
[[Noviophobia|"I am ta-ken!"]] 

And I see the laadies walking 
A-long one by one, 
And I never wanna hear, 
"I'm already taken!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck in a sad, lonely cage! 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

I-have no fire 
But a desire 
To ''never'' hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck in a sad, lonely cage! 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

Why do alla the [[jerks]] 
Get most of the pretty girls, yeah 
You may not notice, 
But I want you to know 
That I am a lonesome heart! 

And I have no fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'', [''Chris accentuates each "not" with a hand spasm''] to not, to not 
''Heeeaaar…''[''Chris cups his hand to his ear''] 

Don' wanna hear it! 

Stuck in a sad lonely cage! 
So need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck in a sad, lonely cage! 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck in a sad, lonely cage! 
-so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I'm already taken!" 

'Cuz I need my [[sweetheart]].

[''Chris turns off the song. He looks at and salutes the camera.'']

Thank you.}}

==Happy Birthday, Ty, here's a song==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Happy Birthday, Ty, here's a song
| video = {{#ev:youtube|RhxDHSa31O8}}
| stardate = 30 [[August 2016]]
| Saga = {{Business|text}}
| previous = [[I'd like someone with a 3D Printer, Locally, please]]
}}

'''Description'''
{{quotebox|via YouTube Capture
}}

===Transcript===
{{collapsible
|Transcript of Chris mostly singing|
[''Chris sits in his bedroom. To his left is a half-full Dr. Pepper bottle, and right in front of him an Equestria Girls figurine.'']

Hello, coming to you straight from my house, once again! [''Chris adjusts his microphone.''] A little mic adjustment…

[''Chris picks up an envelope.''] Here's a birthday greeting: happy birthday, Ty! From Luke, Tyler, Brian, Dylan and BJ with love. [''Chris looks at camera with a glazed expression.''] Brotherly love, I'm guessing, so… here-ya-go, happy birthday, Ty! Here's a song.

[''Chris presses the play button on his PS4 controller, "Hearts Strong as Horses" from My Little Pony starts playing and Chris starts wagging his finger off-beat.'']

Heresuffest little, ponies in town 
Got the moves, got the mojo, no harder working ponies around 
We are a trio, work as a team 
We'll be the first ponies out on the fuh-lag waving scene 

We're-- 

Get goin' when the going gets tough 
We never… [''unintelligible mumbling''] is never enough 
We're kinda short, but so what? We don't get defeateeted 
We take a little break, but we don't need it 

We got hearts as strong as horses 
We got hearts as strong as horses 
We got hearts as strong as horses 
We got hea-a-arts, hearts strong as horses 

Uh, when we put our minds together, we can achieve 
We're the cutie mark crusaders, and you should believe 
We got determination to represent the nation 
Or a win [''Chris runs his finger through his hair''] 

We got hearts as strong as horses 
We got hearts as strong as horses 
We got hearts as strong as horses 
We-- We're going to win as we gallop to glory 
We can conquer any challenge we're in 
We got hea-arts, hearts strong as horses 
Hearts strong as horses 

[''Chris waves and looks into camera.'']
Okay… thank you.
[''Chris leans toward camera.'']
Have a good day.}}

{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Business]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, 2016]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWCki - User contributions [en]

User:Luffe

August 2016 Paid Video Requests