User:Lurker/Questions

2010-05-10T15:47:58Z

Lurker: Created page with 'OkCupid determines match rankings between its users by asking them a series of questions, and determining how they answer. These questions are randomly assigned, and can be …'

[[OkCupid]] determines match rankings between its users by asking them a series of questions, and determining how they answer. These questions are randomly assigned, and can be answered whenever the user feels like it. The user can select a single answer for themselves, and multiple answers that he or she would be okay with potential matches picking.

Due to the tireless efforts of [[Clyde Cash]] we have obtained archives of many of Chris's answers submitted for his latest OkCupid Profile. Chris's answer, and answers he would like potential mates to select. As is the norm with Chris, the answers vary from completely [[Honest]], to untrue things that [[ego|Chris genuinely believes]], to complete [[lies]] that he thinks girls want to hear.

Chris's personal answers are blue, and answers he would like girls to pick are in green. There is considerable overlap between the two.

==Politics and Law==
'''In a relationship I like to discuss politics with my partner.'''
* All the time!
* Sure. I'm interested in sharing our beliefs.
* Sometimes. It depends.
* Hardly. Politics are boring or personal.
'''Which of the following is the more appropriate penalty for [[rape]]?'''
* Death.
* Castration.
* Prison.
* Community service or less.
'''Which is more offensive: book burning or flag burning?'''
* book burning
* flag burning
'''Should burning your country's flag be illegal?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Politically, which are more important to you right now?'''
* Social issues
* Economic issues
* I don't really care about politics

==Relationships==
'''How important is it for you to make [[Megan|physical]] [[Kacey|contact]] when showing affection for someone?'''
* Very important
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own [[Chris and race|skin color / racial background]]?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Most of all, I want to meet someone who deserves MY:'''
* trust.
* loyalty.
* admiration.
* gratitude.
'''If you inadvertently found a phone number in a partner's pocket, which would you do?'''
* Call the number to see whose it is.
* Openly ask what/who the number is for.
* Nothing, I would trust my partner.
* Nothing, my partner's privacy should be respected.
If you were in a serious relationship and you learned that your '''partner cheated on you one drunken night, could you forgive him/her?'''
* Yes, if he/she was sincerely sorry.
* No, never.
* It depends on the situation.
* I don't believe in monogomy.
'''If you were going to have a child, would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* This would not be an important factor to me.
'''If you were in a long term relationship and your partner [[Obesity|gained weight]] due to something like surgery recovery or childbirth, would you think less of them as a person?'''
* No, my partner's weight is irrelevant to me.
* No, my partner's health is what is most important.
* Not if they are willing to work hard and lose it.
* Yes, weight gain is so unattractive.
'''Would you ever stop dating someone based on a rumor you heard about them?'''
* Yes.
* Maybe, I'd give my date a chance to explain first.
* No.
'''What kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?'''
* Physical/Sexual.
* Mental/Emotional.
* Neither is important.
* Both are equally important.
'''If you were in a serious relationship, would you mind if your significant other maintained an active profile on OkCupid?'''
* Yes - I would mind this.
* No - This would not bother me.
'''Would you consider dating someone who dislikes children?'''
* Yes.
* No.
'''Your significant other's ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react?'''
* Sure, no problem.
* Not thrilled, but go ahead.
* Not just no... HELL no!
'''If you were in a long-term monogamous relationship, would you consider your partner "open mouth" kissing someone else cheating?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you consider having an open relationship, where you can see other people?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If one of your potential matches was overweight, would that be a dealbreaker?'''
* Yes, even if they were slightly overweight.
* Yes, but only if they were obese.
* No.
* No, in fact I prefer overweight people.
'''Would you avoid all contact with an ex if your current significant other asked you to?'''
* Yes, of course!
* No. This would be an unacceptable demand.
* Only if their justification seems reasonable.
'''Do you Google someone before a first date?'''
* Yes. Knowledge is power!
* No. Why spoil the mystery?
'''Would you--for any reason--read your mate's email or pose as him/her online, without his/her knowledge and permission?'''
* Yes, they shouldn't be keeping secrets anyway.
* Yes, I'd be too curious not to.
* Only if I suspected them of something.
* No, I'd trust them and that would be invasive.
'''Your significant other is traveling and has the opportunity to stay with a good friend that you know they find to be very attractive. What's your stance on the situation?'''
* It would be totally unacceptable.
* It might be ok, but I'd want to discuss it first.
* It's fine - I don't see any problem.
* It sounds sexy - Hopefully they'll hook up.
'''You get married. Five years later, you realize it was a mistake. Discussion and counseling haven't made a difference. You just don't love your partner anymore. He/she still loves you. You decide to:'''
* Keep trying. Marriage means commitment.
* Get a divorce. It'll be better for both of you.
'''How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?'''
* Totally willing!
* Hesitant, but would consider.
* I am not interested in meeting in person.
'''How much affection can you tolerate?'''
* Inifinite
* Most of it.
* A little bit.
* Get off me!!
'''How important is it to you to have your own unique "thing" (like a weekly Girls' Night Out or Guys' Movie Night) that you don't share with your partner(s)?'''
* Very - I need some ME time to be happy
* Sort of - I need friends outside of my partner
* Not much - I like sharing stuff with my partner
* I'd prefer not to have exclusive things
'''How long do you want your next relationship to last?'''
* One night
* A few months to a year
* Several years
* The rest of my life
'''How do you feel about falling in love?'''
* I love it and want it very much
* I try to avoid it
* I like to just let it happen
* I'm indifferent / not sure
'''Would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is 'seeing someone' or 'married'?'''
* Yes to both
* No to both
* Yes to 'seeing someone' only
* Yes to 'married' only
'''Which makes for a better relationship?'''
* Passion
* Dedication
'''Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other daily, in some way (phone, email, in person, etc.)?'''
* Yes, no matter what
* Yes, unless otherwise specified
* No, it's not necessary
* No, I'd prefer not to communicate daily
'''Which of these options most closely describes what you're looking for in your next relationship?'''
* Someone to come home to
* Someone to go out with
* Someone for tonight
'''How much can intelligence turn you on?'''
* Intelligence can turn me on a lot!
* Intelligence can turn me on a bit.
* Intelligence does nothing for me either way.
* Intelligence turns me off.
'''How long do your romantic relationships usually last?'''
* 0-6 months
* 6-12 months
* 12+ months
* I've never been in a relationship
'''Do you believe in monogamy?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure

==Sex==
'''I prefer to sleep ...'''
* Alone
* With my partner, but apart (not touching)
* Touching my partner
* Embracing / cuddling my partner
'''You're in a relationship/marriage and feel that you and your mate aren't having sex frequently enough. What do you do?'''
* Talk to them about it
* Try to spice things up. (Toys, fantasies, etc)
* Do nothing, but hope things change naturally.
* Cheat on them / Break up with them.
'''How willing would you be to try out new things sexually with a partner?'''
* Completely willing.
* Somewhat willing.
* Not at all willing.
'''[[Women's Rights|Straight women who kiss or fondle each other]] in clubs in the hopes of attracting men are...'''
* Incredibly hot!
* Just having some girlish fun.
* Profoundly annoying.
'''How would you feel if your partner asked you to get tested for STDs before having sex with you for the first time?'''
* Positive (relieved, accepting, happy, or proud).
* Neutral.
* Negative (offended, annoyed, angry, or afraid).
'''You're in a romantic relationship with someone you really like. As far as you're concerned, how long will it take before you'll have [[Chris and Sex|sex]]?'''
* 1-2 dates
* 3-5 dates
* 6 or more dates
* Only after the wedding
'''How important is it that a partner be capable of intelligent intercourse?'''
* Very important.
* Somewhat important.
* Not important.
'''Might you consider dating someone who confided to you that he/she had a sexually transmitted disease?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Ideally, how often would you have sex?'''
* Every day
* 3 to 4 times per week
* 1 to 2 times per week
* less than once per week
'''How open are you to trying new things in bed?'''
* Very open. I'll try anything once.
* I'm open, but I don't get too crazy.
* Hesitant, but it might happen.
* Not at all.
'''Do you like to cuddle?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Sometimes - It depends.
'''Is contraception morally wrong?'''
* Yes
* No
* Depends on the kind
'''Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Which best represents your opinion of same-sex relationships?'''
* Girl-on-girl is okay, but guy-on-guy is wrong.
* Guy-on-guy is okay, but girl-on-girl is wrong.
* All same-sex relationships are wrong.
* It's all fine by me.

==Faith and Religion==
'''Are you Christian?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in public schools?'''
* Yes, students should hear both sides
* No, creationism has no place in public schools
* No, evolution has no place in public schools
'''Would you ever change your religion (or adopt one) because your significant other wanted you to?'''
* Yes
* No
* I'm Not Sure
'''Would you date an atheist?'''
* Yes
* No
'''How important is [[Chris and religion|religion/God]] in your life?'''
* Extremely important
* Somewhat important
* Not very important
* Not at all important

==Life and Death==
'''How do you feel about kids?'''
* Kids are precious - they love me and I love them!
* They're okay, but keep the unruly ones at bay.
* God, how revolting. *shudder*
* I'm indifferent.
'''If your best friend began talking of suicide and asked you not to tell anyone, would you be willing to honor their request?'''
* Yes, it's their life to do with as they see fit.
* Yes, but I'd do my best to talk them out of it.
* No, I'd find help for them.
What is most appealing?
* Settling down with a family someday
* A life of singledom
* Living spontaneousy and in the moment
'''When a [[PandaHalo|woman]] chooses to abort a pregnancy, should she be required to inform [[Clyde Cash|the father]]?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Possibly, depending upon other factors.
'''If it comes to having children, would you prefer to adopt or to be one of the biological parents?'''
* I would rather be one of the biological parents.
* I would rather adopt.
* Either would be equally fine.
* Neither - I'd prefer to not have children at all.
'''When is suicide okay?'''
* Always.
* In special cases, such as to prevent suffering.
* Never.
Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?
* Yes
* No
'''To you, is abortion an option in case of an unwanted accidental pregnancy?'''
* Yes
* No
'''If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?'''
* Love
* Wealth
* Expression
* Knowledge
'''Are you happy with your life?'''
* Yes
* No
* Most of the time
'''Are you looking for a partner to have children with?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Would you ever consider adopting a child or being artificially inseminated on your own if you gave up on finding a life partner?'''
* Yes, and I'd keep dating
* Yes, and I'd dedicate myself to the child
* No, I wouldn't do it
'''If you were to die, would whoever goes through your [[sex toys|personal belongings]] be shocked by what they find?'''
* Yes.
* No.
* Maybe a little bit.

==Hygiene==
'''How important is it to you that your partner smell good?'''
* Very damn important
* Important-ish
* Less important than you might think
* I just don't care.....at all
'''Does finding a long-term partner give you license to "let yourself go," (lower your standards of personal hygiene or appearance or gain large amounts of weight)?'''
* Yes, I preen only to attract a mate
* No, I do it for myself
* No, I want to make sure I hang on to him/her
* I have low standards in the first place
'''How frequently do you bathe or shower?'''
* At least once a day.
* Usually daily. I skip some.
* A couple times a week.
* Once a week or less.
'''How often do you brush your teeth?'''
* Twice or more a day
* Once a day
* Only on days I feel like it
* Rarely / never

==Vices and Virtues==
'''Do you ever feel the need to get really [[Alcohol|drunk]]?'''
* Often
* Sometimes
* Rarely
* Never
'''How often do you smoke cigarettes?'''
* At least one cigarette a day
* Once in a while / only when drinking / rarely
* Never
'''Do you consider yourself to be an honorable person?'''
* Yes, I always try to do the right thing.
* Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
* No, not really.
* Are you kidding? I lie, cheat , AND steal.
'''Are you careful with your money?'''
* Yes
* No
How often are you open with your [[Chris and Anger|feelings]]?
* Always
* Usually
* Rarely
* Never
'''Does smoking disgust you?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Rate your self-confidence:'''
* Very, very high
* Higher than average
* Average
* Below average
'''What's your deal with harder drugs (not marijuana)?'''
* I do drugs regularly.
* I do drugs occasionally.
* I've done drugs in the past, but no longer.
* I never do drugs.
'''Do you keep a budget (of your finances)?'''
* Yes
* No
* Sometimes
'''How often do you keep your promises?'''
* My word is my bond. No exceptions.
* Whenever possible
* Usually
* When convenient
'''What's your relationship with marijuana?'''
* I smoke regularly
* I smoke occasionally
* I smoked in the past, but no longer
* Never
'''Are you vegetarian or vegan?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you space out or daydream a lot?'''
* All the time
* Never / rarely
* Sometimes

==Misc.==
'''Do you enjoy finding out what makes things work the way they do?'''
* I'm an information sponge
* Sometimes
* As long as it works, who cares why?
'''Without using a dictionary or other tool, can you choose the commonly misspelled word? Don't cheat! It's okay if you don't know.'''
* 1. separate
* 2. definate
* 3. committee
* (Not sure / dumb question / who cares)
'''Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?'''
* Yes
* No
'''Do you have a problem with racist jokes?'''
*Yes
* No
'''Do you like to be read to aloud?'''
* Yes, it makes me happy.
* Only when I'm sick.
* Maybe when I was five.
* Nope.
'''Do you and your ideal significant other enjoy making sarcastic jokes at each other's expense, knowing that it's all in good fun?'''
* Yes! That's a personality trait we have to share.
* Sometimes, but not too much.
* No, sarcasm doesn't belong in a love relationship.
* I can't dish it out, but I'd take it, I guess.
'''Would you prefer good things happened, or interesting things?'''
* Good
* Interesting
'''What is your quest?'''
* To find true love.
* To find happiness.
* To find your fortune.
* To find the Grail.
'''How often do you meditate?'''
* Frequently.
* Rarely.
* Never.
'''Which is worse: [[Sonee & Rosey|starving children]] or [[Chandler cats|abused]] [[Patti Chandler|animals]]?'''
* Starving children.
* Abused animals.
* Neither, both are good.
* Neither, they are equally bad.
'''How much influence or control do your parents have over your life?'''
* I am my own person.
* I consider their opinion but go my own way.
* I almost always do what my parents think is best.
* I always do what my parents say.
'''When birds stand on power lines and don't get hurt, it's most likely because of:'''
* Good timing; they only land between calls
* Body materials that are insulated from current
* Not touching anything else at the same time
* They do get hurt; they just express it poorly
'''If you don't do anything at all for an entire day, how does that make you feel?'''
* Good
* Bad
'''STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to...'''
* 89457
* 98547
* 89754
* 89547
'''Which of these is likely to make you more nervous?'''
* A promising first date
* An important interview
'''What is next in this series? 1, 4, 10, 19, 31, _'''
* 36
* 48
* 46
* Don't know / don't care / dislike this q
'''Gender roles ...'''
* Exist for good reason - Should not be questioned.
* Are undergoing a refreshing redefinition.
* Are irrelevant, outdated and unnecessary.
'''What is your back-up plan if you can't find a date on a Friday night?'''
* Call up a friend, go see a movie
* Hit the town solo: you never know what will happen
* Self-improvement: go to the gym or read a little
* Two words: drinking alone
'''Do you generally smile at little kids who cross your path?'''
* Yes
* No
* Only if no one is looking
'''Which is [[obesity|bigger]]?'''
* The earth
* The sun
'''To you, which adjective best describes hopeless, unrequited love?'''
* Romantic
* Foolish
* Creepy''

{{Lists}}

Talk:Greene County Conspiracy

2010-05-09T06:20:09Z

Lurker:

Starting transcription [[User:Urist|Urist]] 04:55, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

A video was released earlier by solidsnakeproductions giving a gay craigslist user looking for good times directions to Chris' house...could this be why he made this video? [[User:LouisLash|LouisLash]] 2:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Doubtful. By the sounds of it, Chris won tickets for some sporting event, no one wanted to go with his smelly ass and when he did go, he was reminded he was a [[Virgin with rage]] by the lovey-dovey couple beside him. Thus, he decided to go after others, blaming ''two fucking counties'' for playing Kick the Autistic!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Name Change==
I know, it just got put up, but this page needs a better name. I vote for either "Chris Whines The Blues" or "The Greene County Conspiracy"--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:09, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*Moving it here, so it can be seen.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:15, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
*I like "The Greene County Conspiracy". -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Cry some more, Chris==
Hahahahahaha! His tears taste magnificent! Greatest CWC video in a while. We're fucking breaking him. [[User:CrookedSmirk|CrookedSmirk]] 05:30, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==Pertinence==
This is worth mentioning in so many other articles. Namely, the articles on [[reality]] and his [[ego]] come to mind. It's a conspiracy, folks! -[[User:Ezra Mason|Ezra Mason]] 05:39, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

== Chris's Shirt. ==

Hey everyone. I make a crappy smalltime riffing video series for fun, and I decided to ''possibly'' riff this video. I typically brighten videos up when I riff them if they're retardedly dark, and I noticed no one had an idea of what shirt he's wearing, so I took a screencap of my best effort to brighten Chris's day.

http://imgur.com/ygTLM.jpg

It appears to be a new shirt, either a tank top or a tee with the sleeves rolled up, with what I ''believe'' to be the Hogwarts shield on it. Chances are I'm wrong on that, though.

Also, I've noticed he's lost ''alot'' of hair. That may be the reason why he's obstructing himself.

I hope it helps! --[[User:ToyoWolf|Kimo]] 05:45, 9 May 2010 (UTC)
* First of all, it looks like the shirt's an orange ''Sonic Heroes'' t-shirt. The little emblem by his left manboob looks like the ''Sonic Heroes'' logo. Second of all, holy shit, where did his hair go?! I know he had more than that when he did that video gloating over removing that piece!--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:48, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

* That frame exaggerates the state of his hair. The camera isn't looking straight at him like it is in the beginning, and the aspect ratio hasn't been enforced. Here's another frame: http://i.imgur.com/Ic9XE.jpg --[[User:Lurker|Lurker]] 06:20, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

==The Conspiracy==
I guess I misunderstood the video, because I thought Chris was whining that he would have had a better life in Chesterfield county, but the Chandlers got stuck in Greene county because they couldn't sell the house they are currently living in. Could somebody help out a poor slow-in-the-mind like me figure this out? Thanks in advance (please type slowly). [[User:Squirrelbait|Squirrelbait]] 06:17, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

Kill De Jack

2010-03-16T09:39:33Z

Lurker: Added a missing sentence

"'''Kill De Jack'''" (officially "'''12252009 - KillDeJack.mp4'''") is a video uploaded on 25 [[December 2009]] where [[Chris]] calls for the murder of [[Jack Thaddeus]] on the feast of the Prince of Peace (which Chris admits is [[Chris and religion|"not very Christmassey"]]) and complains about the [[gay]] banner ads on CWCipedia and the [[20 December 2009|recent Times Square billboard]] where he's supposedly seen in a gay bar.

==Description==
{{quotebox|Down with Jack Thaddeus and his God Damn Homo Ads he has cast wrongfully on the Cwcipedia.

jackthethadius@yahoo.com; Plauge Him Back for his misdeeds!}}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Kill De Jack
| image = {{#ev:youtube|RLjEmAyc3dM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 25 December 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] [[Rage]]
| Saga = [[Image:Clyde_saga.png]] [[Clyde]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:YellowRedStripe.png‎]] Yellow, Green & Red Stripe
| previous = [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]
| next = [[Download For Play Only]]
}}
</center>

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: Christmas Day, 2009.

I'm not going to beat around the bush even though the title of the video is not very [[Christmas|Christmassey]], I have to use [[PSEye|the camera that gives me skips]] in the audio because my camera's battery is being—is being so...

[''Chris raises his [[Claw of Fail|claw]] and sighs.'']

Anyway... I'm very angry at that [[Jack Thaddeus]]! He thinks he can get away with dragging the [[CWCipedia]] down into a hellhole with the... ads he put up there. [''sigh''] It makes me sick. EEERRRRRGGHHHH! [''pause, sigh''] Anyways, he thinks he's all high and mighty with that dang voices. [''switches to a [[Speech impediment|bizarre high-pitched voice]], which is hard to understand''] "Hey! Look at me! I'm Jack Thaddeus! I got an alliance with [[Clyde Cash]] and I do [[12 October 2009|crazy]] animation [?]-blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blah-de-blaaah!" Pfft. Anyway, [''sigh''] I'm so sick of him! Eerrrgh! I'm suck sick of those ads, and I'm not the only person who's sick of those goddamn ads.

Every last one of those... [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Advertisements|homosexual ads]]... Argh! I'm so mad! Argh! You know, [''raises claw''] Jack Thaddeus is nothing but a snivelling coward! Goddamn coward. And he h—he does not have even one Euro to his name, only American dollars... like about two hundred. And you know, that doesn't even cover 2000 euros, which, unfortunately, the euro is stronger than the American dollar at the time. Sad really. Anyway, collection agencies are gonna be on his ass, I tell you what. Anyway, I want those [[Homos|goddamn homosexual]] ads down! Enrgh! And also, another note: I'm a little frustrated about that billboard too! That's a lie! Set up by that stupid [[Clyde Cash]]! He uses another Photoshop picture of his... and posts it on the billboard... [''Chris pauses, looks panicked''] and everyone on the internet knows [[Chris and sex|I'm straight!]] And do not listen to anything that's on his [[YouTube]] account... whatsoever.

Anyway, I'm very— Anyway, I'm more angry at that Jack Thaddeus and those ads! Those ads are going DOWN!! They are going down, and I'm going to ban those homosexual ads! I only like pleasant—I only like pleasant ads because I have to cope with those... [[Stress|I have to c—do what I can to cope with those frickin' ads nowadays.]] [[Homos#Defenses against becoming homo|I have to cover a whole section of my computer with a piece of paper... so I don't have to look at those goddamn things!]] And you [[Chris and hypocrisy|have a life!]] And I'm work—and I'm working so much nowadays! I miss the days when it was just simply the [[Audiobooks]] from [[Vivian Gee]]. And by the way, she's working very hard to [[PS3|upgrade]] them to be of better quality not to mess up DVD burners and all that.

But anyway... errrgh... Jack Thaddeus, you're going down! [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|I'm not even going to talk to you anymore]], so [''middle finger''] you, Jack.

[[True and Loyal Fanbase|To everybody else]] [''flashes peace sign''], hope you have a Merry Christmas and wish you all a pleasant day. Peace out.

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]|nextlink=[[Download For Play Only]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}