CWCki - User contributions [en]

Transformers

2016-11-22T22:07:59Z

MBG:

[[Image:SarahDeath.jpg|thumb|right|190px|[[Optimus Prime]], brutally murdering [[Sarah Jackson]].]]

{{taxpayermoney}}

'''Transformers''' are robots in disguise which are more than meets the eye, first introduced in 1984 by [[My Little Pony|Hasbro]]. [[Chris]] has been fascinated with the Transformers since he was young, and even well into adulthood invests his Transformers toys with great significance. Transformers have become a major presence in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].

==Transformers in Chris's life==
While Chris isn't a dedicated collector, the jumbled mass of crap that fills his room includes several Transformers toys. Of particular note is his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, which he has often used as a sort of totem to reinforce his heterosexuality. When [[Clyde Cash]] forced him to "admit" that he was gay, Chris held his Prime toy tightly throughout [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|the video in question]], which he later explained was a way of asserting his straightness in spite of his words.

In [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris compares his Transformers and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' figurines as ways of studying the traits of the opposite gender and using them as roleplay models. It's possible that Chris really does practice what he preaches, and might pick Transformers and ''My Little Pony'' toys as comforting remnants of his (actual) childhood from the '80s and '90s.

Some of Chris's favorite popular music comes from [[Wikipedia:The Transformers The Movie: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack|the soundtrack]] to the animated movie ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]''. He once recorded a [[Cwc dare|video]] of himself singing [[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]]'s "Dare," and downloaded a number of other songs from the soundtrack - like [[Parody|"Dare To Be Stupid" by "Weird" Al Yankovic]] - from [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody.com]]. [[Wikipedia:The Touch (Stan Bush song)|The Touch]] was also Chris's choice of song for [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|round 4]] of the [[SingStar Challenge]] against [[Liquid Chris]]. He lost. Chris also plagiarized one of Megatron's lines from the movie (''"I would have waited an eternity for this- it's over, Prime!"'') during the battle with Reldnahc in issue ten. In fact, the scenes in both cases are extremely similar- the hero is downed and evidently defeated, before performing one last defiant attack against the villain as they stand over them. Chris fills the role of Optimus Prime and Reldnach is Megatron- further evidence of Chris's self-identification with Optimus.

==Transformers in ''Sonichu''==
While they were not originally part of the ''Sonichu oeuvre'', Transformers slowly crept into the spotlight. [[Bagget]]'s "Change-Bot" [[Crackder]] was the first to join the series, in [[Sub-Episode 7]] of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Later on [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] would introduce a flood of new Transformers, including [[Punchy]]'s motorcycle [[Prower]], the comic version of Chris's car [[Son-Chu]], the [[Jerkop Punislav]], and [[Armoraxe]].

In the comics, the Transformers are divided into the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], the unfortunately named defenders of [[CWCville]], and the [[Decepti-Clones]], a much larger army under the control of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. The Decepticons working for PVCC come in three variants and are all mass produced. They attack the city with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[Jerkop]] army in ''Sonichu #9'' and are completely wiped out during the course of the battle.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92</ref> The Autobots are far less numerous, only numbering five members, but are evidently much more powerful than their counterparts, as while the entire Decepti-Clone army is destroyed during the Battle of CWCville, the Autobots [[Chris and writing|do not lose a single member]].

==Transformers elsewhere==
For reasons that remain difficult to determine, Chris chose to depict the 18-wheeler that killed [[Sarah Jackson]] with Optimus Prime's distinctive red and silver paint job. Either Chris intentionally drew a Transformer crushing his would-be sweetheart, or (more likely) the image just bubbled up out of his infamously limited imagination.

[[Sonichu Special 4]] features Chris shooting his rival [[CChanSonichuCWC]] with what looks very much like an early Megatron toy. The [[Megatron pistol|real-life version]] also appears in some of Chris's videos. In [[CWC is Angry]] he shot at a picture of [[Adam Stackhouse]] with the mock pistol, while in the [[War Paint Video]] he used it to threaten all of his general enemies.

On [[September 2016 Facebook posts|numerous]] occasions within the [[2016]] election period, Chris has used the Transformers Titans Return Voyager Class Sentinel Prime toy as a physical representation of [[Pmurt|Donald J. Trump]] to [[Eid, Pmurt, Eid|beat on and smash]]. He states he uses the toy as an effigy due to its primary color being orange, akin to Trump's skin tone<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Feelings_of_the_election_results</ref>. Curiously, the character was [https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/co/image/1472/65/1472658214991.jpg| used in recent comics] as an analog to Trump - his primary motivation as a villain was to purge the populace of Cybertron of new arrivals and restore it to its former glory. The topic has been joked about heavily among fans, but it's unclear if Chris is aware of this. Given the release of this toy during the [[Financhu Crisis]], it shows that Chris is still incapable of being [[Chris and money|fiscally responsible]]

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]], Chris's failbots of CWCville.
*[[Decepti-Clones]], Mary Lee Walsh's failbots of PVCC.
*[[Optimus Prime]]
*[[Megatron pistol]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Yu-Gi-Oh!

2016-09-28T21:40:00Z

MBG:

[[Image:Jack's Knight as William Spicer.jpg|thumb|right|Jack's Knight, some character from ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'']]
[[File:Chris-Chan's Yu-Gi-Oh Card.jpg|thumb|left|A TRUE and HONEST CWC-themed Monster Card.]]
[[Image:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|thumb|right|"I am STRAIGHT! STRAIGHT! Get it through your damn, dirty, immature skulls! ...and here's a drawing of me dressed as Dark Magician Girl :3 ."]]
[[File:311-RedDarkMeggician.jpg|thumb|right|Megan as the Dark Magician. Oddly, she seems to be dressed as Arkana's red Dark Magician from Episode 60 of the show, even though she says that she's been summoned by Yami.]]
[[Image:120-CWCSpells.jpg|thumb|[[Sonichu 5|CWC-Spells!]]]]

'''''Yu-Gi-Oh!''''' is a Japanese manga about a boy named Yugi who, after solving an ancient artifact called the Millennium Puzzle, inherits a spirit named Yami in his body, and goes around playing a collectible card game called Duel Monsters. The manga has spun off into an entire multimedia franchise, including several anime series dubbed in America by the infamous 4Kids Entertainment, and an actual version of the CCG featured in the stories, which emphasize trusting in "the heart of the cards" as a key skill.

[[Chris]] is a fan of the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' CCG, and has incorporated the use of its "spell cards" into ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. Much like his custom [[Pokémon]] cards, Chris has created dozens of homemade Yu-Gi-Oh! cards about himself and his characters.

Chris employs ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' references early on in the ''Sonichu'' series, usually to portray himself battling [[Wes Iseli]]. His ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' influence peaks in [[Episode 12]], where Chris uses his deck of cards to prevent Wes from ruining the wedding of [[Sarah Hammer]] and [[William Spicer]]. Spicer himself is depicted as [http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20061104040054/yugioh/images/7/78/Jack'sKnightEEN-EN-R.jpg Jack's Knight], one of the characters in the cards, either because Chris couldn't draw him or didn't know what he looked like. A side plot in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]] is Chris beaming about his new friendship with [[Megan Schroeder]], whom he he met while playing ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' at [[The GAMe PLACe]] in the summer of [[2005]]; this probably accounts for his unusual fixation on the game. Though the ability to turn trading cards into real effects seemed to be pretty effective at taking down Chris's foes, he evidently lost interest in the franchise not long after, and [[Metal Sonichu|the cards vanished from that point onward without explanation.]]

Chris has also drawn himself as [http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090709225705/yugioh/images/8/8c/DarkMagicianGirlDPYG-EN-SR-1E.jpg Dark Magician Girl], a female ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' character complete with hairy legs and Sonichu medallion. Whether this is an example of [[random-access humor]] or further evidence of Chris's [[Homos|sexuality issues]] remains unknown.

A trend in some of his custom cards is that some of the effects on the cards rely on monsters being [[JERKS|male]] or [[Sweetheart|female]], such as "[[Virgin With Rage]]", "A Jerk", and "[[Attraction Sign|Girlfriend Attraction]]". This comes despite gender not being important in the official cards, and generally not even specified.

==Custom ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Cards==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Monsters
|-
! Card
! Name
! Level
! Code
! Description
! Attack
! Defence
! Date
|-
| [[File:253-YuBchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Blake |Black Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-009
| [Beast]
Blachu was cloned from Sonichu's DNA with a dose of Cherry Cola.
| 1600
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[File:126-YuCChan.jpg|150px]]
| [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
| 5
| CWC-019
| [Beast]
His origin is unknown, but quandry [''[[Chris and English#Spelling|sic]]''] is brought up over the Sonichu-head mark on his chest.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:189-YuSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]
| 4
|
| [Beast]
A speedy [[electric hedgehog pokemon]]. He transformed from a Pikachu after exposure to the seven Chaos Emeralds.
| 1600
| 1400
|
|-
| [[Image:223-SonichuZord2.jpg|150px]]
| [[Power Rangers|Sonichu Zord]]
| 8
| CWC-25
| [Machine]
Created by [[Dr. Eggman]] for [[Giovanni]]'s Rocket Rangers, it serves to stomp the [[Chaotic Combo]].
| 3500
| 3000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin With Rage]]
| 2
| CWC-024
| [Warrior/Effect]
For each [[JERKS|male monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's attack by 500 points. For each [[Sweetheart|female monster]] on the field, increase Virgin With Rage's defense by 500 points.
| 500
| 500
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:140-AJerk.jpg|150px]]
| A [[Jerk]]
| 4
| CWC-38
| [Fiend/Effect]
If your opponent attacks with a female monster, she can only attack this jerk.
| 2000
| 1500
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:141-JerksLoiteringLot.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerk]]'s Loitering Lot
| 4
| CWC-39
| [Fiend/Effect]
Each time you or your opponent normal, set or Special Summons a male monster on the field, place a counter on this card (max 3). You can remove all 3 counters from this card to destroy 1 male monster on the field.
| 0
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:142-QuizGirlfriend.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend?]]
| 3
| CWC-28
| [Fiend]
Could she be the love of my life? Probably not...; I'm sure she is already paired up with some jerk.
| 1000
| 2000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:143-MaryLeeWalsh.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]]
| 4
| CWC-29
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Flip. Special summon 1 DARK monster from your hand onto your side of the field.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:146-Jerkop.jpg|150px]]
| [[Jerkop]]
| 3
| CWC-44
| [Fiend]
This "copper" fiend wants to shatter the virgin's heart by destroying his tools for attracting a [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free woman]], just like how [[Mary Lee Walsh|Hslaw Eel Yram]] did.
| 800
| 1000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:152-YuCrystal.jpg|150px]]
| [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal The Female Twin]]
| 3
| CWC-37
| [Warrior]
Beautiful and strong with courage and confidence. She will help her male counterpart, Christian Weston Chandler.
| 1300
| 1800
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:211-YuMetonic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]
| 6
| CWC-005
| [Beast/Warrior]
His armor adds [[Obesity|weight]], so he can't perform a spin dash. His spikes are diamond-sharp.
| 2300
| 2500
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:218-YuUltSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Ultra Sonichu]]
| 10
| CWC-006
| [Beast/Effect]
Ultra Sonichu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 life points when [[Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. Then you can Special Summon this card from your hand or your deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[File:222-YuMSchu.jpg|150px]]
| [[List of Sonichu characters#Metal Sonichu|Metal Sonichu]]
| 8
| CWC-45
| [Machine]
This robot's sole purpose is to become stronger and faster to destroy [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]].
| 2500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:237-YuRosechu.jpg|150px]]
| [[Rosechu]]
| 4
| CWC-004
| [Beast/Effect]
If Sonichu is face-up on your side of the field, increase attack of Sonichu and Rosechu by 500 points.
| 1500
| 1400
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:246-YuVamprosa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]
| 5
| CWC-013
| [Beast]
Vamprosa's bite can suck the life out of her enemies. Her cape enables her to fly.
| 2000
| 1800
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:255-YuSilvBchu.jpg|150px]]
| Silver [[Blachu]]
| 10
| CWC-49
| [Beast/Effect]
Silver Blachu can only be Special Summoned by paying 500 Life Points when [[Black Sonichu]] is destroyed in battle. You can then special summon this card from your hand or deck.
| 3500
| 3000
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:260-YuWild.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wild Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-014
| [Beast]
With his sharp razor leaf, speed and ninja skills, and he can he can escape into the wild.
| 1500
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:265-YuBubbles.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubble Rosechu]]
| 3
| CWC-015
| [Aqua]
She was raised by a mother [[Pokémon|Swampert]] who taught her how to create tidal waves.
| 1200
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:270-YuAngelica.jpg|150px]]
| [[Angelica]] Rosechu
| 3
| CWC-016
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Prevent all effects of any of your opponent's spell cards to any of your face-up monsters.
| 1400
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:275-YuPunchy.jpg|150px]]
| [[Punchy Sonichu]]
| 4
| CWC-017
| [Beast-Warrior]
He was raised in a dojo in Japan, where he lost his tail in a tough battle.
| 2000
| 1000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:280-YuMagi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Magi-Chan]] Sonichu
| 4
| CWC-018
| [Spellcaster/Effect]
Each time your opponent activates a spell card, you may draw a card.
| 1400
| 1300
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:285-YuFlame.jpg|150px]]
| [[Flame the Sunbird]]
| 4
| CWC-48
| [Winged-Beast/Effect]
Flip. Return a monster to your side of the field to your hand in order to draw 1 card from your deck.
| 2000
| 1500
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:288-YuBionic.jpg|150px]]
| [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
| 4
| CWC-46
| [Beast]
Bionic is the world's greatest basketball player, and [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s long-lost brother.
| 1800
| 1300
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:294-YuWesLi.jpg|150px]]
| [[Wes-Li]] Sonichu
| 5
| CWC-020
| [Fiend/Effect]
If [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is face-up on the field, increase Chris-chan Sonichu's attack by 500 points.
| 2300
| 2000
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[File:302-YuSahramah.jpg|150px]]
| [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]
| 7
| CWC-021
| [Fairy/Effect]
For each Light monster in the graveyard, increase Sarhamah's attack by 300 points.
| 2700
| 2500
| August 17, 2004
|-
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Spells
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[File:096-SonichuMedallion.jpg|150px]]
| [[Medallions|Sonichu Medallion]]
| CWC-41
| Increase the equipped monster's attack by 500 points. If the monster has [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]] in its name, increase its attack by another 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|150px]]
| Girlfriend Attraction
|
| Special Summon 1 female monster from your hand or deck onto your side of the field.
| August 8, 2004
|-
| [[Image:105-LonesomeSelf.jpg|150px]]
| [[Virgin with rage|Lonesome Self]]
| CWC-012
| If you only have one monster on your side of the field, you can Special Summon 1 monster from your hand.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:107-HookedOnSonichu2.jpg|150px]]
| Hooked on [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]
| CWC-34
| This card is used to Ritual Summon any monster with Sonichu or Rosechu in its name. You must also offer monsters from the field or your hand whose total level stars equal the level stars of the ritual monster you are attempting to Ritual Summon.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|150px]]
| Plan for [[Attraction Location|Attraction]]
| CWC-40
| Pick up (not draw) cards from the top of your deck until a female monster is picked up. Special Summon that card onto your side of the field. Shuffle all other picked up cards back into your deck.
| August 20, 2004
|-
| [[Image:109-CWCSpellsCard.jpg|150px]]
| "C.W.C" Spells Quick Spells!
| CWC-51
| Discard 1 Spell Card from your hand. Add 2 Spell Cards from your Deck to your hand, shuffle your Deck afterwards.

When activating this card, announce that you will "Activate your QuickSpells with your C.W.C. Spells!"
| May 21, 2006
|-
| [[Image:151-WisdomTeeth.jpg|150px]]
| [[Fangs|Wisdom Teeth]]
|CWC-31
| Increase your Life Points by 500 points for each Spell Card in your Graveyard and on your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|150px]]
| [[Gal-pal|Girlfriend]]'s Gift
| CWC-33
| If your opponent has more Lifepoints, or monster on his/her side of the field, select 1 monster from either player's graveyard. Special summon that monster onto your side of the field.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|150px]]
| [[Mary Lee Walsh|Apology]] Letter
| CWC-011
| If your opponent has less life than you, he/she may draw 2 cards.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:157-CityOfCwcville.jpg|150px]]
| City of [[CWCville]]
| CWC-022
| Increase the attack of all monsters on the field with Sonichu, or Rosechu, in their names by 500 points.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:212-MetonicsSword.jpg|150px]]
| [[Metonic]]'s Sword
| CWC-008
| Only [[Metonic]] can be equiped with this card. The monster equiped with this card increases its attack by 1000 points.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:213-MetalBoots.jpg|150px]]
| Metal Boots
| CWC-27
| The monster equiped with this card increases its defense by 500 points. The monster remains in defense position, and it can't shift into attack position.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:247-VamprosasCape.jpg|150px]]
| [[Vamprosa]]'s Cape
| CWC-26
| Only Vamprosa can be equipped with this card. The monster equipped with this card increases its defense by 1000 points.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[File:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|150px]]
| Fireshock Pendant
| CWC-42
| Increase the monster's attack by 500 points. And when this monster attacks during the damage step, decrease the attack of the monster you are attacking by 500 points.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[File:304-LightningBracelets.jpg|150px]]
| Lightning Bracelets
| CWC-43
| This card can only be equipped to [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarhamah Rosechu]]. Increase the equipped monster's attack and defense by 700 points.
| September 5, 2004
|}

{| class="wikitable sortable"
|+Traps
|-
! Card
! Name
! Code
! Description
! Date
|-
| [[Image:127-LevelBattle.jpg|150px]]
| Level Battle
| CWC-32
| You can activate this trap when your opponent attacks with his or her monster against one of your monsters. Compare each monster's number of level stars. The lower level monster is destroyed. If both stars are equal, neither monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:138-CurseYeHaMeHa.jpg|150px]]
| [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha!]]
|
| Choose one of your opponent's [[JERKS|male monsters]] and destroy it. If you select a set monster, flip it over. If it is a female, she is not destroyed.
| August 9, 2004
|-
| [[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|150px]]
| [[The Creepy Stare|CWC's Evil Glare]]
| CWC-007
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. Decrease that monster's attack and defense by 700 points. When the selected monster is destroyed or removed from the field, this card is also destroyed.
| August 11, 2004
|-
| [[Image:145-ShatteredHeart.jpg|150px]]
| Shattered Heart
| CWC-010
| You can activate this card when your opponent attacks with one of this/her monsters. Take control of that monster, and attack another of his/her monsters, or Life Points, then the controlled monster is destroyed.
| August 17, 2004
|-
| [[Image:147-LightKnife.jpg|150px]]
| Light [[Knife]]
| CWC-30
| Select 1 DARK monster on the field. That monster is destroyed.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:148-TrapOfFear.jpg|150px]]
| Trap of Fear
| CWC-46
| You can activate this card during your opponent's Standby Phase. Your opponent mush skip to his/her End Phase for the turn this card is activated.
| September 5, 2004
|-
| [[Image:149-RandomTrick.jpg|150px]]
| Random Trick
| CWC-35
| Roll a die.
*If you roll a 1 or 2, reduce opponent's attack to 0.
*If you roll a 3 or 4, switch the position of one of your monsters.
*If you roll a 5 or 6, destroy one of your opponent's monsters.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[Image:155-MindSwap.jpg|150px]]
| Mind Swap
| CWC-36
| Select one of your opponent's monsters, then he/she selects one of your monsters. Until the end of the turn this card was activated, each selected monster is controlled by the respected player.
| August 19, 2004
|-
| [[File:226-SchuBall2.jpg|150px]]
| [[S-Chu Ball]]
| CWC-023
| Select 1 of your opponent's face-up monsters. As long as the card is face-up on the field, the select monster remains in defense position. When the selected monster is destroyed, this card is also destroyed
| August 18, 2004
|-
| [[Image:375-ChaosEmeralds.jpg|150px]]
| 7 Chaos Emeralds
| CWC-50
| If you have [[Sonichu]] or [[Black Sonichu]] on your side of the field or in your hand, you may remove Sonichu from play to Special Summon Ultra Sonichu from your hand or deck onto your side of the field, or remove Black Sonichu from play to Special Summon Silver Blachu from the hand or your deck onto your side of the field. When this card is destroyed, [[Ultra Sonichu]] and/or Silver Blachu are destroyed and removed from play.
| September 5, 2004
|}

==See also==
*[[Card_games#Yu-Gi-Oh.21_TCG|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' TCG]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Yu-Gi-Oh!|''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' Wikipedia article]]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]

Autism

2016-09-28T21:06:47Z

MBG:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{DeadLinks}}

[[File:Auti.PNG|thumb|Odd that he respects [[Chris and copyright|trademarks]] when he feels like it...]]
{{quote|'''I am Sometimes Retarded'''.|[[Chris]], on himself.<ref>6th paragraph down: http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality</ref>}}
{{quote|I'm POSSIBLY [[slow-in-the-minds|retarded]]...|Chris on his autism, [[Mumble 9.5]]}}
{{quote|I'M RETARDED.|Chris, [[exposing Jeff]].}}

[[Image:086-BionicFlag.jpg|thumb|[[Bionic the Hedgehog]] "conquering" autism (and "ATScI3") by confusing windmills with watermills.]]
[[Image:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris at war with autism (or "ATSIMU") in [[China]]. Too bad you can't fight cannons with [[fangs]].]]
[[Image:Autismcard.jpg|thumb|He plays this card a lot.]]

::''For the song, see [[A-U-T-I-S-M]].''

'''Autism''' is a spectrum of neurological disorders involving the impairment of social interaction and communication. The cause of autism is unknown, but it has been shown to have multiple genetic factors. The symptoms usually manifest before the age of 3 and are generally irreversible; there is no known cure, although the condition can be treated. Autistic individuals are generally not retarded — they mostly have average intelligence — although obviously severe social impairment can coincide with stunted learning and development. [[Asperger syndrome]] is generally considered part of the autistic spectrum; individuals with Asperger syndrome generally have above-average intelligence, although they still suffer from the social and communicative impairments. Prognosis depends on the severity of the autism and the effectiveness of its treatment; autistic people may learn to live relatively normal, productive lives or they may have become so unable to function in society that they must be institutionalized.

Christian Weston Chandler has built much of his identity around being autistic. His terror of being associated with severely autistic/retarded people causes him to be overly eager to prove his basic competence and cite his success in primary and secondary education. At the same time, his pride from accomplishing these things in spite of his disability has conditioned him to demand outrageous praise for his slightest efforts and infinite patience for his gravest errors. Moreover, Chris's belief that the entire Greene County Board of Education continues to irrationally persecute him for his autism has left him suspicious of opposing points of view and resolute that anti-autistic prejudice is the reason for any of his setbacks.<ref>[[Greene_County_Conspiracy]]</ref> In short, it is impossible to understand Chris's [[Chris and anger|defensiveness]], [[stress|hypersensitivity]], [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], [[Chris and remorse|irresponsibility]], [[Man in the Pickle Suit|paranoia]], [[Greene County Conspiracy|victimhood]], and [[Story of My Current Days|self-pity]] without understanding his relationship with autism.

Chris not only seems to think that having autism imbues him with a [[Chris and his Ego|special significance]], but also feels that his autism is different from that of every other person in the world who has autism.<ref>[[Asperger_Syndrome]]</ref> Chris feels he is naturally better than everyone else and often talks down to people who display knowledge or experience of subjects he is unfamiliar with. During his conversation with [[Father_Call|Kacey's father]], Chris downplayed Kacey's knowledge of biology and healthcare despite being proven wrong minutes before in a debate over the genetics of autism.<ref>[[Father_call#Kacey's_boobs_and_Internet_fame]]</ref> At the same time, Chris believes he is not responsible for the majority of his mistakes. By being autistic, Chris rationalizes that it is wholly the fault of autism if he [[Twin Falling Towers|makes]] [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|poor]] [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked_Out_of_College|decisions]].<ref>[[Jackie_E-mails_20]]</ref>

==High-functioning vs. low-functioning==

{{quote|He may be high functioning (which I actually doubt -- who would want to admit to thousands of strangers that they are actually severely challenged??), but that does not mean he can function like a non-mentally challenged person.|rae12, Cracked.com<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20150503081114/http://www.cracked.com/funny-3956-chris-chan/</ref>}}

Informally, autism may be subdivided into separate classifications based on the intelligence and degree of function the autistic individual possesses; for a general idea, this crude scale could have levels of high-functioning, medium-functioning, and low-functioning. Chris has latched onto this concept and will frequently qualify his condition, saying he has '''high-functioning autism''', or '''HFA'''. Generally, HFA is loosely defined as; the ability to live in the mainstream world as opposed to being institutionalized, having near-normal comprehension, demonstrating fluent speech, and possessing near average intellect. This presents Christian with an easy scapegoat and alibi: he cannot be blamed for his own failures because he has autism, but he does not accept treatment or advice for his "medium" or "low" level autistic traits because he's ''high-functioning'' and therefore, nearly normal.

[[Trolls]] have often noted that the "high-functioning" qualifier is '''not''' a clinical diagnosis and is '''not''' recognized by the [[Wikipedia:DSM-IV|DSM-IV-TR]] or the [[Wikipedia:ICD-10|ICD-10]]. This usually goes hand-in-hand with questioning the severity and/or diagnosis of Chris's impairment, if not outright calling him a [[lie|liar]]. However, the Chandlers didn't make the "HFA" label up, and compared to kids who can barely speak and just walk in circles all day, Chris is relatively close to neurotypical. Semantics aside, though, it's clear that Chris is far from normally-functioning. Only an [[Autism papers|updated]] [[28 October 2011#Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing|psychological profile]] would really provide insight into the complex and controversial mixture of autism and mental illness that is present within Christian.

Disgustingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, Chris detests [[Slow-in-the-minds|low-functioning autistics]] in the [[Chris and hypocrisy|exact manner]] that he fears normal people will detest him. In [[Mailbag 25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]], he compares those with low-functioning autism with those who suffer from severe retardation or severe brain damage, thinking that they would have their arms linked together, have deformations, be confined to wheelchairs or crutches and drool and grunt and growl. He has also described them with extremely cruel and derisive terms, calling them "WINDOWS TO HELL" and compared them to "zombies".<ref>[[Mailbag_5#In which Chris speaks ill of the handicapped|Mailbag 5]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_11#Elevators are important for the handicapped, so they don't want any phobias|Mailbag 11]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_25#High functioning babble|Mailbag 25]]</ref> The irony of his resentment toward 'Low Functioning' Autistic people is that he has a severely autistic cousin, as revealed in the [[autism papers]]; this probably means that either Chris is not aware of his own relatives (very probable), or he has disowned members of his own family on the basis of them having the same medical condition that he has (albeit more severely affected by it), being the autism-Nazi he is.<ref>[[Asperger syndrome]]</ref>

He explains that he refuses to date a girl with any form of autism because he fears that seeing them will make him think about what he might be like if he had anything other than high-functioning autism.<ref>[[Chris_chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_Chan_on_sticking_things_up_b.2A.2A.2Ahole.|Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref> Chris believes he can do much more than any low-functioning autistic could, even as he's living with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] well into his thirties, has never had a real girlfriend or held a steady job, and [[Dirty, crapped briefs|soils himself]] on a semi-regular basis.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref>

Still, presuming Chris is autistic, he is high-functioning since he can talk, drive, write, and draw. However, this also means that he has the same medical condition as [[Microsoft|Bill Gates]] and the creator of [[Pokémon]] amongst many others, yet he has failed to do anything significant with his adult life, hence proving that his vulgarity and failure are for the most part his own fault.

{{clear}}

==Onset and diagnosis of Chris's autism==

{{quote|No one GIVES A SHIT that you are autistic, they NEVER DID.|[[Jackie E-mails 23|Jackie]], telling Chris something he'll flat out ignore.}}
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|Now GodBearJesus can't get him to shut up.]]

Chris's version of how he developed autism is best explained in the [[Song of Christian]] video. There he explains how a [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]] locked him in a room filled with toys at around age 1 1/2. After crying for hours, he emerged from the room unable to talk; as Chris himself puts it, "[[Chris and Religion|God]] put the mute button on me."<ref>[[Song of Christian#The actual poem]]</ref> (This implies that Chris could talk before this incident, which directly contradicts Chris's own parents stating that he never spoke until around the age of seven.) Most specialists claim that these symptoms of autism begin to show around that age anyway,<ref>[[wikipedia:Autism#Characteristics|Wikipedia: Characteristics of autism]]</ref> so even if the events of the story happened, the babysitter didn't cause the autism. It is far more likely that Chris's parents simply looked for anyone to blame for Chris's sudden loss of language development. Notably, Chris has diverged from this story before, having claimed at least once that he was intentionally "injected" with autism by doctors when he was a child, as if that were even possible. Nevertheless, it speaks volumes on the [[List of Chris's lies|veracity]] of the former account if he can't even keep his story straight, not to mention that Chris probably [[Naïve|has little idea on the causes of autism]] anyway.

As for how Chris ''actually'' became autistic, studies have shown that there is a [http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100208/autism-risk-rises-with-mothers-age positive correlation between the age of the mother and the risk of autism]. Given that [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] was 40 years old when she gave birth to Chris, this is a likely explanation.

It is currently unclear how Chris came to be considered as "autistic," although Chris has claimed that his parents possess official documentation about this in a safe. When pressed to release this information, he provided a [[autism papers|2004 psychiatric evaluation]] that states Chris was diagnosed with autism when he was "around age five or six." However, there's no way to be sure if the evaluator simply wrote down Chris's responses to his questions or independently verified them. (For example, Chris might not remember his exact age when he was diagnosed, but you'd think his medical records could be more precise than "five or six.") By the time of the Chandlers' legal battle with Greene County, Chris's autism seemed to have become a universally accepted fact, but the details of how, when, and where Chris was diagnosed remain a mystery.

When recounting his childhood, Chris usually skips straight from the "evil babysitter" incident to age seven, so we know very little about what (if any) treatment he received during this crucial period of development. In a [[CWCipedia]] [[mailbag]], Chris claims that when he was young, his parents were told he would never be able to read, write or function on a normal level. He and his doctors have now upgraded his condition to "high-functioning," but apparently his incredibly abysmal upbringing has actually allowed it to progress to mid-functioning at best. However, his characteristics and development throughout his life may put him in the "Childhood Disintegrative Disorder" category, as he has become worse and worse over the years.

In his "Song of Christian" video, he explains that his mother took him to the toy department and coaxed him to read aloud the names of Go-Bots, and later [[Transformers]]. Chris says he began speaking again when he was seven— that is, in [[1989]], when the Transformers line was on its last legs and the Go-Bots line had long since vanished. This would seem to indicate that this form of "therapy" had to have gone on for several years before producing any results.

{{clear}}

==Persecution==

Chris attended [[Greene County Primary School]], apparently without incident, from age 5 until age 9. Problems arose for him in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], where he alleges that the faculty wanted to remove him from mainstream classrooms and send him to what he calls an institution. He also claims that the teachers at the school held him down and recorded his screams. Chris frequently cites this as evidence that the school was senselessly cruel towards him, for no reason apparent to him except an innate fear and distrust of autistic people. More probable, given Chris's ongoing behavioral issues, is that he forced the faculty to restrain him by refusing to restrain himself. There's no way to know if Greene Elementary treated Chris unfairly, but the incident does suspiciously resemble Chris's [[arrest]] in July 2005. The Chandlers sued to prevent the school board from removing Chris from mainstream education before ultimately relocating to Chesterfield County to continue Chris's mainstreaming there.

There's no way to know how much of Chris's attitude about the Greene County crisis is based on his personal recollections or what he was later told by his parents, who themselves seem unusually paranoid about the county's vendetta against their family. However, the result of the incident is clear: Chris emerged from adolescence firmly believing that many people not only misunderstand autistic people but hate and fear them. He seems to believe this prejudice is based not on a person's actions (e.g. throwing fits and irrationally screaming) but on a person's mere identification as autistic, regardless of function. Given Chris's fear of low-functioning autistics, he may in fact think this prejudice is perfectly justified, but wrongfully targeted at a high-functioning individual. Of course, in Chris's mind, he may as well be the only high-functioning autistic in the Universe, so he is the one and only innocent victim in "everyone's favorite game, [[Kick the Autistic]]."

Chris's tactful and sensitive comments on a news story about a woman with [[Asperger syndrome]] being raped revealed that he believes the media, like the rest of the world, has a bias against autism similar to [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|"Missing White Woman Syndrome"]], and that the story wouldn't have been reported if the victim was a woman with "proper" autism.

==Chris's symptoms==

Many [[trolls]] dispute the exact diagnosis of Chris's mental condition, on the basis that his observed behavior is inconsistent with various autistic people. CWC-related forums (and other forums, for that matter) have seen numerous testimonials about people who are undeniably autistic but nowhere near as fucked up as Chris has turned out to be, and in general these forums do not consider Chris to be an example of what all autistic people are like. Quite often, autistics are indeed able to learn social skills to some small degree in the context of intellectual learning. Some can even come off as being completely neurotypical because they have come to realize that, while they believe "normal" behavior has a tenuous definition, they must adapt to others' expectations of what's acceptable if they wish to succeed in life. Chris, however, demonstrates a willful ignorance of normalcy, with a sense of entitlement coupled with an expectation that others should not only understand his ridiculous idiosyncrasies in the first place, but also accept them or even force [[Dating education|them]] upon others.

A layperson may come to the conclusion that Chris is not autistic, and he's just a regular, albeit quite idiotic guy with a few "eccentricities", or jump to the other extreme and conclude that Chris has full-blown mental retardation. However, Chris's characteristics are most likely a combination of [[Barbara Chandler|bad parenting]] and genuine autism. The following are aspects of Chris's character that clearly match autistic tendencies:

[[Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|thumb|right|Awkward body language, as Chris displays here, is a common trait of autism.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|Stacking objects is a common symptom of autism, and is often one of its first signs in a young child.]]

*Chris displays virtually no coherent, working theory of mind. This is the essence of autism: autistics have difficulty gauging others' internal, subjective thoughts, feelings, ideas, intents and so on; understanding that these might be different than their own; and predicting their behavior based on these differences. Indeed, the prefix "aut-" is a form of "auto-", meaning "self," as in "automobile," meaning "self-moving". In [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|an email between Clyde Cash and him]], he sent Clyde a link to [[The MovingFoward videos|a video he made of himself destroying his PS3]]. He destroyed his PS3 under the egregiously mistaken impression that he'd be given $9,001 for it, which is in itself an indicator of his fundamental inability to gauge others' actual intents and future behavior. He filmed himself doing it specifically to prove to Clyde, who wasn't present for the destruction, that it happened according to the video's objective portrayal. However, he added that if Clyde showed the video to anyone Chris didn't mean to see it without paying him the money, "it can be considered [Clyde's] Word Alone, possible Movie Editing and Actors, and NOT Fact" as though the video would have any less evidential weight on others if he denied to them what he rightfully claimed to Clyde that it showed with enough certitude that he would give him thousands of dollars because of its being shown.

*Chris places disproportional importance on literal statements, another trait of autism. This is related to the above. Chris acted as though he could convince others of a fact contrary to videographic evidence simply by stating it. Another example is virtually the entire [[Liquid Chris#Liquid Saga|Liquid Saga]], where Chris honestly, fervently, pathetically tried to demonstrate what was already blatantly obvious to everyone: that his name is not [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and that Liquid was not him. He seemed to believe strongly enough [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|to become visibly frustrated]] that others might believe Liquid's statements in the face of the obvious that he had to continually counteract those statements with his own as though just the statements were the most important or most effective means of proving what everyone already knew.

*Chris is extremely gullible. While autistic people can have problems with social cues such as sarcasm, thus being gullible at times, Chris is much more gullible than other autistics, let alone ones that are high-functioning. This is more due to his [[Naïve|inexperience]]. One need only see his extensive [[List of Chris's sweethearts|list of sweethearts]] to see just how easily fooled he is. In addition, not only has he been fooled by trolls (of both sexes) pretending to be female sweethearts, he has fallen for trolls pretending to be [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and approached him about making a ''Sonichu'' game. A telling statement comes from the aforementioned email to Clyde: "even if you upload the video yourself, it '''can be''' considered YOUR Word Alone[.]" (''emphasis added'') Chris might operate on the assumption that if a thing ''can be'' true, it's always reasonable to behave as though it ''is'' true no matter how slight the chance and no matter how much more likely it is to be false.

*Chris lacks a conversational filter. He calls this [[Honest Content|honesty]]; normal people call it social retardation. Without provocation he will tell you about his [[heterochromia|pinkeye]] and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]], and how he is a [[virgin with rage]]. Only when his [[Barbara|mother]] told him to knock it off did he actually give up telling everyone he was a virgin.<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)#Chris in Person (From THEIR Point of View)]]</ref>

*Chris can't show emotions well with facial expressions and body language. See [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|his statement to the women of the world]] if you enjoy Chris appearing in your dreams. His inability to display emotions on his face has been called a "[[The Creepy Stare|dead fish expression]]." When he does attempt to have an expression, it looks very cartoonish, possibly because he copied it from [[My Little Pony|actual cartoons]]. He typically speaks in a monotone, and his attempts to sound expressive (see [[CWC's Message for Ivy]]) come off as creepy and unnatural.

*Chris has very poor facial and vocal recognition skills. [[Julie]] was a 13-year old boy using an obvious falsetto and Chris fell for it. In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|one chat]], the boy made no attempt to disguise his voice and Chris was none the wiser, disclosing personal sexual details. Two images of different people were used to represent [[Blanca Weiss]], and Chris didn't notice. In an [[Vanessa AIM Chat 9|AIM Chat]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], she sent him a link to pictures of Megan Fox, and Chris complimented her on them, even though the two don't even have the same skin colour.

*[[White knight#Chris lacks empathy himself|Chris lacks empathy]] and concern for others. In his [[Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash|plea]] to Clyde, his advice after the suicide of Clyde's brother [[Ryan Cash]] was "find yourself a girlfriend." He asks for ED to [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|please understand]] him, because he is an "innocent victim of misunderstanding"—he wants empathy from others, but he can't return the favor. Chris primarily sees other people in terms of what they can provide for him; when accused of overstepping his bounds or other wrongdoing, he has no concept of [[Chris and remorse|remorse or apology]] except as something he must do to continue receiving favors. When forced to apologize, he makes insincere apologies followed immediately by further demands.

*Chris has trouble developing platonic relationships. Many non-autistic people have the same problem, but Chris is particularly inept at socializing. He has no filter on what he says and cannot empathize with others, key prerequisites for successfully interacting with people. He is also uninterested in talking about subjects besides himself.

*Chris thinks in absolutes and in terms of clearly defined steps in order to do something. He thinks there must be sex on or by the [[third date]]. He describes his sadness in terms of his [[heart level]] and briefly mentioned a [[Scale of Respect]]. He feels that if he just knows the correct steps to getting a [[sweetheart]], he will be able to find one easily. His [[dating education|crash-course in dating]] and [[Dating|suggestions to Blanca]] assume that a relationship should follow a rigidly predetermined progression instead of a natural flow. In an [[Jackie E-mails 23|exchange of e-mails with Jackie,]] Chris responded to her frank descriptions of his habits and lifestyle by saying she had exceeded the "Hurtful Truth Level"; while he knows he should be appreciative of hearing the truth about himself, this was the only way he could wrap his brain around the abstract idea enough to be able to tell her he thought she'd gone too far.

*Chris tends to use solipsistic neologisms; that is, he creates new words that only he himself understands and expects other people to comprehend them. Many articles on this very wiki have been written to explain the resulting [[CWC-isms]].

*Chris exhibits compulsive and repetitive behavior. He wears the same [[shirt]] for days at a time, and uses the same terms and [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|exact]] [[boyfriend-free girl|phrases]] [[sweetheart from the ground-up|frequently]]. He feels the need to refer to people by their full names, plainly visible when he talks about himself, [[Clyde Cash]], or [[Adam Stackhouse]]. Other compulsive and repetitive behavior common with autism is strict following of rules, and the organization of elements bordering OCD. Chris however, lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy, unorganized house,]] makes comics with dialog bubbles in inappropriate places; and a very inconsistent plot, and disobeys the [[Chris and the Law|law]] when it inconveniences him.

*Chris has an extremely narrow range of interests. He seems to only give a damn about video games, prowling for his next [[sweetheart]], his initials, and [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]], so much to the point where he practically places [[Sonichu (character)|him]] somewhere in everything he creates. He often wishes to [[dating|combine]] two [[LittleBigPlanet#First Date Level|interests]].

*Although he does not demonstrate any [[Honor roll|competency]] with them, Chris has a fixation on numbers and statistics that would generally be irrelevant to others. He describes measures in concrete terms (e.g. "5 mies[sic] from the city"<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_2</ref> instead of "outside the city"), and has a particular obsession with times and dates, timestamping nearly every scene in the comic and giving his characters birthdays that have no relevance to the plot (unless it becomes convenient to "[[pedofork|age up]]" the characters). Needless to say, Chris's tendency to blurt out exact dates and times (assuming he's not talking out of his ass) has made the job of [[CWChronology|CWCki chronologists]] much easier. On the other hand, his haphazard treatment of dates and times in the comic has led to countless [[Continuity in the Sonichu comics#Chronology|continuity errors]].

*Chris exhibits symptoms of [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]]; this is a common characteristic of autistic people. Chris often wears his accessories and medallions over top his clothing to avoid skin contact with metals and plastics. This is evident in the way in which Chris wears his watch over the cuff of his sleeve and wraps his medallion through the collar of his shirt.<ref>[[:File:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg]]</ref> Most obvious however is his [[Fashion#Wrist_warmer|wrist warmer]] which he places on the chain of his medallion. Chris has stated that "[...] it is a part of my necklace; it's a "Wilson" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there."<ref>Email from Chris posted in old PVCC thread 162</ref> Loud sounds also bother Chris. He was prohibited from attending pep rallies in high school,<ref>[[August 2013 Facebook Posts#Actual friendships]]</ref> and has expressed hesitation about visiting bars because of the noise.

*Chris lacks social awareness. One notable instance, as revealed in the [[autism papers]], was when two [[Niggos|African American]] ladies were speaking to Chris about his love quest, when Chris politely told them that they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white. Based on the report of the examiner, Chris believed he was merely informing the ladies as to his prerequisites for a potential sweetheart while oblivious to the fact he was being racially insensitive.<ref>[[Autism_papers#IDENTIFYING_STATEMENT:]]</ref>

*Unnatural relationships with inanimate objects are also a sign of autism; Chris has evident obsessions with his [[medallion]], his [[PlayStation 3]], and any number of other items that clutter up his [[Chris's room|room]]. Since autistic people have difficulty maintaining relationships with people they often end up becoming emotionally dependent on objects, though this symptom is seen much more in children with autism.

*Chris also appears to have echolalia, a common symptom of autism. This means that he constantly repeats phrases from his favorite television shows, movies and video games, regardless of whether they fit the current situation. In some instances, he calls this [[Random-access humor|"humor"]].

*One of the biggest symptoms of autism Chris displays is his fear and resistance to change, well beyond the point that it could be even related to his autism. Chris is reluctant to get or even look for a job as he has only worked [[Chris's resume|four months in his entire life,]] has never come close to moving out, has a very hard time selling or giving up his toys or shirts, wouldn't stick to a diet and exercise program, [[Attraction Sign|doesn't try new ways to attract women,]] and has a very hard time coping with his banishment from [[the GAMe PLACe]]—where he would usually spend his Fridays. This might be resistance to change of his old life style of just going to school and coming home and playing video games; his proven tendencies to avoid responsibilities and self improvement show that he is trying to remain a child or simply fears failure of all types.

*An overlooked but crucial characteristic affecting all of Chris's physical activity is his display of [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]], which refers to a distinct lack of muscle tone — in biological terms referring to tension rather than the colloquial use to describe muscle strength (although raw physical strength is also affected by it) — which affects motor skills as well as stamina. Chris is not only very clumsy, he shows abnormally low muscle strength and gets tired quickly even by [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|simply shuffling around for a couple of minutes]] — which cannot be entirely explained by his lack of physical exercise. Whenever Chris is shown sitting, [[Charlottesville Fashion Square#Chris captured on video|he is spread around like a rag doll]], [[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|hanging limply]]—as his muscles cannot support his entire body properly. This condition is also linked to [[speech impediment]].

==Chris's misconceptions about autism==
It's not clear that Chris has any understanding of what, precisely, autism is, except that a) he has it, b) it's a bad thing, and c) he's a brave little boy for living with it. His song [[A-U-T-I-S-M]] sums up his attitudes about the disorder:

{{quote|A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!|Chris, attempting to spell out autism in more ways than one}}

To Chris, that's all it is — a condition that makes you a bit smarter than normal human beings and mysteriously makes people not want to be your friend.
[[File:Mii.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's personification of autism for beating up in Super Smash Bros.]]
Chris also seems to only be aware of the symptoms of autism that fit in with his odd, pseudo-Bohemian lifestyle. Asexuality is very common in autistic people; this is because any form of romance or sex may be too intimate for an autistic mind to cope with. This completely contradicts Chris's "[[Love Quest]]" and suggests that he is actually trying to compensate for his inability to feel true sexual attraction, even if that means becoming a genuinely disturbing pervert.

Chris [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|considers himself to have "Helped cultivate the First Generation of Autistic People",]] suggesting that he believes [[Chris and his Ego|he is a prevalent figure in the autistic community.]].

In a [[May 2010]] [[Some Favored Comedians|video]], he stated that our society is spending so much time on the Internet that ''everyone'' is becoming autistic.<ref>[[Toucher and Rich Segment#Chris's Response|Chris responds to Toucher and Rich, May 2009]]</ref><ref>[[Some Favored Comedians]]</ref> This further proves that people with little to no social contact shouldn't attempt social commentary.
That, and Chris has no fucking clue what his own disorder is actually ''like''. In [[November 2010]], he tried to use this excuse to guilt trip [[Jackie]] into being sorry for yelling at him, which worked as well as you'd expect.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 23]]</ref>

Chris's failure to understand the symptoms of autism may well explain some of his odd behaviors. Due to lack of social activity and poor theory of mind, Chris doesn't seem to realize that his behaviors are what they are, as best demonstrated by his belief that [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|it is normal for an adult to shit themselves.]] Chris does not recognize the differences between himself and others, and this applies to the differences between himself and neurotypicals - and, seeing no differences, he believes his autism to have been thoroughly conquered, even while embodying every single trait of it.

===Chris on the causes of autism===
There's a broad scientific consensus that autism largely arises from genetic factors. Chris's own case is consistent with the theory that children born to older parents are at greater risk of developing autism.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism#Genetics</ref> Bob and Barb were 54 and 40, respectively, when Chris was conceived.

Chris's own expressed views on the root causes of autism are all over the map. He's espoused a few different theories at different times and in different situations. His oldest theory, dating back to the [[Song of Christian]] in the late 1990s, is that the [[abusive babysitter]] was responsible for his condition. In [[Mumble 3|his arguments with]] [[Clyde Cash]] in early 2009, he said that "scientifically speaking, [autism] has possibly come from a drug, or otherwise it may possibly be genetic", and that the babysitter incident merely "brought out the, uh, curse that was buried within me."

When explaining his condition to [[Father Call|Matt Devoria]] late in the fall of 2009, Chris insisted that autism has no genetic factors. In that instance, however he had an obvious agenda. He hoped to convince Matt that any children he fathered with Matt's daughter [[Kacey]] wouldn't wind up inheriting his condition; because of this, it's difficult to say exactly how sincere he happened to be at that moment.

To muddle the issue even ''further'', in [[Mailbag 12]], Chris blamed the cause of autism on a shot "the doctor's [sic] optionally give to the child after birth", apparently in reference to the highly disputed [[wikipedia:MMR vaccine controversy|urban myth]] alleging that childhood vaccinations lead to autism. It's not likely that Chris even has that much of an awareness of the facts and assertions of said myth, and was probably looking for a throwaway excuse to deny any hereditary factors.

In a [[Some Favored Comedians|video]] in 2010 Chris said the Internet made people autistic, likely confusing the hyperbolic claim often made jokingly to that effect with fact. Ironically Chris's excessive use of the Internet in place of human interaction have probably done more to exacerbate his symptoms than almost anything else.

In his [[Autism Tutorial Part 1|Autism Tutorial]] from early 2011, Chris slewed back toward a more mainstream view, discussing the genetic factors behind autism and complaining about how his parents conceived him late in life. He also, however, warned viewers that smoking, drinking, or exposure to car exhaust could cause dangerous genetic damage that might result in autistic children.

===Chris versus Asperger syndrome===
{{see also|Asperger syndrome}}

Chris is easily outraged by any attempt to associate or confuse autism, high-functioning or otherwise, with Asperger syndrome, a similar condition now considered by many experts to overlap with HFA on the autistic spectrum. (In fact, it has been proposed that Asperger syndrome be placed on the autism spectrum in the new DSM-V, making both the condition and "high-functioning autism" one and the same.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-V#Asperger_syndrome</ref>) At times, Chris has stated that he dislikes Asperger syndrome because sufferers of the disorder supposedly steal sympathy away from autism awareness. He has also claimed that the name is too close to "ass burger" or "ass booger" for his taste. In the early days of the CWCipedia Mailbag, asking Chris about Asperger syndrome was the most effective way to troll him; this culminated in the creation of [[Asperchu]].

In the present, Chris simply hates Asperger syndrome because it reminds him of how angry he got the last time someone brought it up — in other words, a completely unjustifiable opinion. Chris has declared himself "close-minded" on the subject, dismissing all scientific opinion contrary to his own, and angrily refuses to be convinced that he does not occupy a more favorable (exactly what that means depends on whether Chris is looking for pity or adulation at the time) tier of the spectrum.

==Chris on autism education==
Chris is a firm believer in mainstream education for children with autism, a trait he doubtlessly picked up from his parents, who went to [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|incredible lengths]] to keep him in mainstream classrooms throughout his school years. Aside from speech therapy lessons intended to help him recover from his period of muteness as a child, as far as the available records indicate, Chris has never received any sort of special education geared towards dealing with his autism or related issues.

[[Mailbag 12|When asked for his advice on how to raise an autistic child]], Chris replied "...Most Importantly, MAINSTREAM; let your child be free to communicate and associate with the Normal Society. Special Education is okay, but that will not do in the longest run." Later, [[Mailbag 15|for advice on how "to succeed despite being afflicted with Asperger's"]], Chris's only response was, "My advice is to Mainstream the child."

During a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video from April 2010]], Chris read off a lengthy printout of autism-related information. After quoting a passage about how the education of autistic children should be undertaken by trained professionals in specialized settings, Chris offered his own opinion.

{{quote|As for me though, I highly recommend mainstreaming, lettin' 'em go though normal life. I mean yeah, give 'em the special treatment while they're young... but when you get 'em in elementary or middle school... or high school, mainstream is the way to go.|Chris, [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]}}

In short, Chris believes that the approach that produced the man as we know him today (i.e. ignoring the problem) is the best possible way to raise and educate children with autism.

==Autism cured?==

[[Image:454-CWCsPossibleFuture.JPG|thumb|Autism appears to be in Chris's future...]]

Chris's greatest dream is that his autism might one day be cured (although in 2006 he would have unhesitatingly sacrificed such a cure in order to obtain a [[PlayStation 3]]). There are instances of children inexplicably recovering from the symptoms, but there is no known cure for autism that can simply be applied to everyone like Chris's "homo vaccine." Imagine the surprise of the mental health community, then, when Chris revealed in [[March 2009]] that he had overcome his autism once and for all:<ref>[[Sarah Reveals Herself]]</ref>

:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm not going to blame it on my autism; I have realized that I am over that now.
:'''Sarah May:''' Over what?
:'''Sarah May:''' Over your autism?
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes
:'''Sarah May:''' . . .
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, what is it that you want to do?
:'''Sarah May:''' Christian
:'''Sarah May:''' Are you serious?
:'''Sarah May:''' Autism is not influenza
:'''Sarah May:''' You don't 'get over it'
:'''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've broken out of my autistic shell, and I am better able to socialize in public, with the past practices online.

Chris claimed during the same chat that he may not be making sense due to a virus, easily allowing for him to retract this. Fortunately, Chris has discovered that [[stress]] is a more socially popular scapegoat for his personal shortcomings. Of course, people learn to manage stress, but what do you expect?

As of [[May 2009]], Chris seemed to have regained his autism and was back to [[Wikipedia|blaming it]] for all his problems, seemingly believing that autism is as easy to shake/regain as the common flu. However, [[November 2009]] saw Chris again claiming to have been miraculously cured, as stated at the end of part 2 of his [[Sonichu Powerpoint]] presentations, where he described himself as a "high-functioning autistic ''recovered''". A [[December 2009|month later]], Chris again backpedaled; in response to ED's claim he was "suffering" from autism, he [[Chris chan (CWCipedia)|agreed]] that "''I still am for real.''"

Chris's flip-flopping self-diagnosis simply illustrates his misunderstanding of his problems. Since autism is his scapegoat for when he fucks up, to him that's really all it is — a disease that makes people fuck up all the time. Therefore, when he fails, he has a bad case of autism, and when everything is going well (such as when he believes he has a girlfriend), he thinks the autism has gone away. What Chris really wants, then, is not a cure for autism but a life in which nothing happens that he would need to blame on his autism; that is, a life in which he has a girlfriend and nobody criticizes him.

==Things Chris has not blamed on his autism==
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What did you expect?]]

==Chris and other autistics==

Listening to Chris go on about "us TRUE and HONEST autistics," you might think he has some kind of misplaced sense of autistic solidarity. But this would merely be dumb, and Chris-chan always shoots for both dumb and repugnant, so the reality is that he doesn't give a shit about anyone's autism but his own. He calls lower-functioning autistics "windows into hell"<ref>[[IRC (17 December 2008)]]</ref> and regards them with [[Chris and hypocrisy|exactly the same kind of fear and mistrust he bitches about people treating him with]] when in reality many much lower functioning autistics lead far more independent and fulfilling lives than he does. He has also expressed a disdain for others with high-functioning autism, with HFA being one of the characteristics excluding a woman from being a [[attraction sign|potential sweetheart]]. Meanwhile, he looks at people with [[Asperger Syndrome]], who are on roughly the same part of the spectrum as him, as dirty whores trying to somehow steal the limelight from "real" autistics (read: Chris).

Chris has only once included another autistic person in his comics. In emails with [[Sarah Jackson]], she told Chris that her sister was also a high-functioning autistic. When Sarah was included in [[Sonichu 9#Episode 19: Date Ed (Even Though the Idea Sounds Dated)|Episode 19]], so was her sister, [[Rita]]. When Rita was given dialogue after Sarah's [[death]], what she said made so little sense grammatically (even by [[Chris and writing|Chris's standards]]) that it is hard to see it as unintentional. It can therefore be speculated that Chris, thinking his own autism so much better than anyone else's, was attempting to make Rita seem as unintelligent as he assumes other autistics and people with mental disorders are.

For their part, people with autism universally facepalm when they look at Chris, with some even going as far as [[A-Logging|wishing he'd fuck off and die]] and stop giving them a bad name. The deleted article about Chris on TV Tropes said it best: they wish he'd Stop Being Stereotypical and embodying the worst perceptions of their condition. The article also noted that to people with autism or Asperger's, Chris was "Paranoia Fuel;" that is to say, it scares them to think they're like him. For the actual high-functioning autistics out there, Chris himself is the "window into hell."

The Aspies for Freedom website has had a couple of run-ins with Chris that nicely demonstrate how other autistics regard him:

* [http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021308/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=14371 Aspies For Freedom thread] where Chris or someone impersonating Chris asks for help against [[ED]]. The aspies offer the usual advice of ignoring the [[trolls]], which by the way is the best advice.

* [http://web.archive.org/web/20110915021331/http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=15676 Aspies For Freedom thread] where someone asks about Chris, but everyone else just wants to avoid the drama. A few of them realize that what ED says is true even though it may be a "hate site." Apparently, previous drama involving Chris led them to disable registration.

Tl;dr: Chris has no support in the online autistic community unless it's from someone who would rather he commit suicide.

== References ==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Asperger syndrome]]
* [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]
* [[A-U-T-I-S-M]]
* [[Autism Tutorial]]
* [[Chris and psychology]]
* [[Kick the Autistic]]
* [[Slow-in-the-minds]]
* [[Stress]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ix5Ith-fSU One Winged Autistic]</s> (dead link as of Jun 2014)

{{CWC-isms}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Autistic Spectrum Disorders]]
[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Chris and writing

2016-09-28T20:00:43Z

MBG:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Despite the subject matter frequently being [[The Incredible Lioness|completely unsuitable for children]], Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Chris frequently pauses from the action to describe exactly what a character is wearing and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. Inversely, he frequently [[Evan|glosses over important things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Even in "action" scenes, Chris will frequently pause in order to introduce something completely irrelevant.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> The overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. Also, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is generally considered lazy and ugly.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience. He also often introduces and foreshadows seemingly important plot elements that [[Darkbind Sonichu|never substantially contribute to the plot]] or are dropped abruptly when Chris [[Anchuent prophecy|loses interest in them]].

To the surprise of nobody, Chris is no [[wikipedia:Alan Moore|Alan Moore]] and ''Sonichu'' is no ''[[wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]]''. Chris makes no effort to work to the strengths of the comic medium, and instead approaches his comics more like a [[television]] series or [[anime]] in structure, using storytelling techniques and visual information that work in those mediums but not so well on paper. He is ignorant towards comic books and how they are supposed to work as a sequential narrative. Despite a desire to work for major companies like [[wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]], [[wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse]] and [[wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], Chris has never shown any real interest towards those companies and their publications, though he did seem vaguely aware of the miniseries ''[[wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]]'' in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|one of the Alec calls]], criticizing its [[Sonichu 10|violent]] and [[Parody|parodic]] nature despite admitting to having [[Naive|never read it]]. Within ''Sonichu'' itself, his Mary Sue insert has referred to the comic as an anime and himself as its director, and has given it ratings such as TV-14, etc., which only apply to television standards. ''Sonichu'' isn't so much a work designed to be a comic, but rather an economic storyboard for a hypothetical TV show or video game.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks (some notable offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters, as they are written, are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in some sort of cartoon universe, giving them flaws would amount to tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His general response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective, including [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|small children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities. All males (except for Chris) are superficial idiots who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are vacuous sluts who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully reveling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Just as the protagonists are designed to be Chris's bland, homogenous vision of ideal heroism, the antagonists are simply evil for the sake of evil. The villains more often than not act with no apparent motivation whatsoever other than an abstractly contrived desire to bully Chris by sabotaging his heroic efforts to get a girlfriend. How they would prosper from this is unknown, especially considering that they have not once ever come close to defeating the Hedgehogs. Since Chris doesn't see the appeal in protagonists with flaws, he likewise doesn't see the appeal in villains with redeeming qualities (probably because most of his enemies are avatars of real people whom Chris genuinely believes are involved in a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against him). The closest thing to a sympathetic villain is [[Blake]], but only because he has a raging [[I am STRAIGHT|heterosexual]] libido just like all the other furries in the comic.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating (in exposition, of course) something akin to "it just happened." With Blake, who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he defects to the side of good. His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] (who beat him almost to death a few issues prior) and a brief, nonchalant mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reasons the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. Blake isn't even the worst offender, either; no reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

Even when not textwalling, Chris's dialogue is highly unnatural. He appears to have no grasp of voice, with nearly all his characters using the same stilted tone, verbosity, and [[CWC-isms]]. This can easily be seen in early issues, where the phrase "[[boyfriend-free girl]]" pops up from multiple characters. This may be a symptom of his [[Autism|lacking theory of mind]]: he believes that, since he talks in this fashion, so does everybody else.

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Virtually every fight ends with the heroes winning almost immediately and with little difficulty. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis. Likewise, any instances emotional drama between characters are resolved immediately. The only time where a problem was resolved without an artificially cheery resolution was in [[Sonichu 11]], wherein [[Cera Rosechu]] fails to mend her relationship with [[Kevin the Jew]], though the character seems "over it" after crying a little about it.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends rather conclusively with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A terse preview for the following issue completely dismantles all the tension in the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to neutralising tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in the comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else, this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unendurably boring.'''

Ironically, the sole exception to this rule is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris himself]] - but even this treatment is baffling. As the activities of Comic-Chris are based on his Creator, he is unable to simply resolve Chris's [[Love Quest]] quickly and easily ([[Lovely Weather|but it doesn't stop him from trying]]). Thus, even while his doppelganger accumulates more and more superpowers and allies, he is still shown being curiously ineffectual, unable to handle [[W-M-Manajerk|most]] [[Wes Iseli|threats]] without help, and before long, his insipid romantic efforts have become the sole outstanding arc. However, this is less the result of Chris's skill at dramatic writing and more his lack of skill with love and life; that Comic-Chris fails even with every [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card]] stacked in his favor only reflects that the real one does, too, and whenever Chris thinks his Love Quest might be over in real life, he attempts to give it [[Wedding Comic|the typical easy resolution]] in the comics as well.

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very abruptly, and often with no real logic or progression, just because they caught his fancy. For instance, there's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]]; he was just interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris loses interest in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed (off-panel, no less) so that Chris can proceed to his next plotline of interest. Other dropped narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]] or [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]) might only get a sentence or two tying up the loose end, and some (e.g. [[Jiggliami]]) are simply never referred to again.

The comic's narrative is yet further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates, along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] - only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next issue with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on His dating advice to His favorite son.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself from the action for ''almost'' two issues, and when it unceremoniously ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]
[[File:Son11p17.jpg|thumb|15 years of drawing ''Sonichu'' comics and Chris still can't lay out dialog.]]
Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his work clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand (or perhaps care) that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her [[China|fancy]]; have her tickle my [[Duck|fancy]], and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with bizarre neologisms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes he can't even manage to make it rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a stupid couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact; Chris saw fit to document anything and everything that happened, including [[Honor Roll|sleeping through class]]. At this early stage it seems that Chris was unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience the disapproval of peers that concerned him, as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which operated under the characteristic presumption that the details of his daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on (such as they were; most updates were simply denouncements of [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain Dean]]). The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format; instead of archiving and replacing old content with newer material, Chris simply stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout. He also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results were only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, on a blog, one publishes one's opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]], as well as to try to incite action against his detractors.

Another arguably more important fault with Chris's blogging is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Successful bloggers post about their life in much the same way as anybody else, but they know that they need to keep it entertaining to read. While Chris did unintentionally cause the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris showed that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert" ([[Obesity|anything related to food seems to reach Chris]]). Despite having such a sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were shallow and incoherent (in part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long). His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion (not to mention using WWI sources in points about WWII). His teacher understandably deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment, he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical (and what fiction he writes generally involves [[The High School Story|suspiciously familiar material]]). The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is nothing to suggest that Chris ever learned even the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a fucking frowny face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[CWCipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels by [[R.L. Stine]] which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a mere month prior, which in all likelihood he only mentioned because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and writing

2016-09-28T19:59:52Z

MBG:

{{Articleofthenow}}
[[Image:395-HowThePKMNCame.jpg|thumb|right|[[Audiobooks|Look at that cover, goddamn]]]]

[[Chris]]'s '''writing''' is marked by many flaws that have persisted throughout his creative output.

== General problems ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and art]], [[Sonichu (comic)]]''

Despite the subject matter frequently being [[The Incredible Lioness|completely unsuitable for children]], Chris's writing shows a juvenile, [[Slow-in-the-minds|simple]] writing style. Chris frequently pauses from the action to describe exactly what a character is wearing and [[Sonichu 8|expound upon trivial aspects of characters]] in unnecessary detail. Inversely, he frequently [[Evan|glosses over important things]] that may [[Sonichu Balls|have relevance at some point]]. Even in "action" scenes, Chris will frequently pause in order to introduce something completely irrelevant.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_0/Page_44 Issue 0 Page 44]</ref> The overall presentation is consistently sloppy, marked by unwieldy turns of phrase and elementary typographical errors that suggest that Chris does not proofread anything he creates before putting it on the Internet. Also, Chris has the habit of using the font Comic Sans to type, which is generally considered lazy and ugly.

Chris produces no preparatory writing of any sort for his stories, content to make them up as he goes along and putting the overall narrative at the mercy of his moods and fancies. He regularly changes his mind as to what the story should be and contradicts what has come before as he pleases, unable to comprehend why this would bother his audience. He also often introduces and foreshadows seemingly important plot elements that [[Darkbind Sonichu|never substantially contribute to the plot]] or are dropped abruptly when Chris [[Anchuent prophecy|loses interest in them]].

To the surprise of nobody, Chris is no [[wikipedia:Alan Moore|Alan Moore]] and ''Sonichu'' is no ''[[wikipedia:Watchmen|Watchmen]]''. Chris makes no effort to work to the strengths of the comic medium, and instead approaches his comics more like a [[television]] series or [[anime]] in structure, using storytelling techniques and visual information that work in those mediums but not so well on paper. He is ignorant towards comic books and how they are supposed to work as a sequential narrative. Despite a desire to work for major companies like [[wikipedia:DC Comics|DC]], [[wikipedia:Marvel Comics|Marvel]], [[wikipedia:Dark Horse Comics|Dark Horse]] and [[wikipedia:Archie Comics|Archie]], Chris has never shown any real interest towards those companies and their publications, though he did seem vaguely aware of the miniseries ''[[wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]]'' in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|one of the Alec calls]], criticizing its [[Sonichu 10|violent]] and [[Parody|parodic]] nature despite admitting to having [[Naive|never read it]]. Within ''Sonichu'' itself, his Mary Sue insert has referred to the comic as an anime and himself as its director, and has given it ratings such as TV-14, etc., which only apply to television standards. ''Sonichu'' isn't so much a work designed to be a comic, but rather an economic storyboard for a hypothetical TV show or video game.

=== Exposition ===
[[File:SchuComic10P3.jpg|thumb|If only there was some way that events and actions could be depicted visually, rather than as endless and tedious walls of Comic Sans.]]
[[File:SchuComic10P65.jpg|thumb|For fuck's sake.]]
{{quote|Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later...|[[Sonichu 9|Chris, not even trying anymore]]}}

As a writer, Chris is over-reliant upon exposition, to the point that some works (such as [[The High School Story]]) contain nothing else. Chris does not like to illustrate facts of his stories through example, and instead expects the reader to accept his every word as gospel, leaving no room for interpretations that are not [[TRUE and HONEST]]. Confusing dialogue for exposition, Chris believes that his level of exposition is normal in mainstream comics.<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling|Mailbag 19]]</ref>

In addition, Chris critically fails at the literary element "show don't tell" even in illustrated action scenes, choosing instead to describe what a character is doing between two asterisks (some notable offenders are *CUTS VINES*, *CRASH TO GRASS*,<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_52 Issue 9 Page 52]</ref> *TELEPORTS IN*, and *MAKES GUN DO A 180*.) With those examples, it shows that the idea of onomatopoeia is lost to him. In those cases, examples including "SLICE", "THUMP", "WHOOSH" and, perhaps, "SQUEAK" would have told them same thing, but with a lot more emphasis on what's going on.

[[File:SchuComic1.jpg|thumb|right|[[Mary Lee Walsh]] threatens Chris and Sonichu with a "Hee Hee" attack, which most military analysts seem to agree is ''not'' a particularly potent or spine-chilling threat. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], however, is widely believed to destroy everything.]]

=== Characterization ===
: ''See also: [[Chris and art#Character design|Character design]]''

Chris's characters, as they are written, are distinguishable only by the vaguest surface elements. Chris's view of ideal personalities in men and women is clear to him, and because he wants all of his creations to be perfect, his characters are barely-distinct variations on a theme. Chris does not comprehend the appeal of characters with flaws. In his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|second call with Alec Benson Leary]] Chris explained that because he considers all of his characters to be very much real, living things that exist in some sort of cartoon universe, giving them flaws would amount to tormenting a living creature (in the context of the conversation, Chris defended bleaching [[Asperchu]] into "Mitch Sonichu" because the character shouldn't have to suffer his original name). His general response to the criticism that his characters lack personality is denial.

The indistinct characterizations of the Sonichu cast are reflected in their dialogue. Chris does not use dialogue to suggest distinct personalities and worldviews. All characters are equally capable of speaking as Chris does, and from Chris's perspective, including [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|small children]].

This in turn leads to only three basic stock personalities. All males (except for Chris) are superficial idiots who are only interested in fucking and enforcing Comic-Chris's [[CWCville|draconian laws]], all of the females are vacuous sluts who only want to fuck, shop and cook (in that order, no less), and [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Comic-Chris]] comes off as a murderous, insane dictator of a militaristic city-state enforced by a paramilitary secret police and a pack of [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon|super-powered goons]] with immunity from [[Chris and the Law|prosecution]] and freedom to commit any [[Sonichu 10|atrocities]] they ([[Gun Comic|and he]]) please, utilizing a [[Magi-Chan|psychic hedgehog]] to spy on his citizens to make sure there are no [[homos|gay people]], and gleefully reveling in the pain he inflicts on those whom he deems unworthy.

Just as the protagonists are designed to be Chris's bland, homogenous vision of ideal heroism, the antagonists are simply evil for the sake of evil. The villains more often than not act with no apparent motivation whatsoever other than an abstractly contrived desire to bully Chris by sabotaging his heroic efforts to get a girlfriend. How they would prosper from this is unknown, especially considering that they have not once ever come close to defeating the Hedgehogs. Since Chris doesn't see the appeal in protagonists with flaws, he likewise doesn't see the appeal in villains with redeeming qualities (probably because most of his enemies are avatars of real people whom Chris genuinely believes are involved in a [[Greene County Conspiracy|conspiracy]] against him). The closest thing to a sympathetic villain is [[Blake]], but only because he has a raging [[I am STRAIGHT|heterosexual]] libido just like all the other furries in the comic.

Consequentially, any attempt at character development fails miserably. Chris marks any change in character by indicating (in exposition, of course) something akin to "it just happened." With Blake, who arguably goes through the most stark change in character (an antagonist becoming a supporting character), there is absolutely no moral struggle or any build-up to the moment he defects to the side of good. His sudden infatuation with [[Bubbles]] (who beat him almost to death a few issues prior) and a brief, nonchalant mention of mistreatment at the hands of his [[Naitsirhc|master]] are all the reasons the reader is given for why Blake changed sides. Blake isn't even the worst offender, either; no reason is given for [[Wes Iseli]]'s defection to the enemy ''at all''.

===Dialogue===
Chris only uses dialogue as an expository device in his comics in the bluntest fashion possible. Chris feels the need to include extensive amounts of dialogue in his comic, resulting in textwalls that demand type so small that they often threaten to become illegible. Textwalling is Chris's preferred method of dictating the story as he means for it to be experienced by his reader. Chris has defended this practice due to feeling a "preference to elaborate, because [[Chris|some people]] [[Autism|rarely get visual references]]."<ref>[[Mailbag 19#Textwalling]]</ref> On a similar note, speech often includes hand-drawn emoticons to display what the speaker is feeling, affirming the notion that Chris doesn't believe that his artwork or dialogue alone can convey his ideas, in addition to his [[Autism|total ineptitude with emotions]].

Even when not textwalling, Chris's dialogue is highly unnatural. He appears to have no grasp of voice, with nearly all his characters using the same stilted tone, verbosity, and [[CWC-isms]]. This can easily be seen in early issues, where the phrase "[[boyfriend-free girl]]" pops up from multiple characters. This may be a symptom of his [[Autism|lacking theory of mind]]: he believes that, since he talks in this fashion, so does everybody else.

=== Plot and Drama ===
Chris's [[Chris and reality#Fantasy and Fiction|confused understanding]] of reality and fantasy affects his ability to write captivating fiction. Because Chris considers his creations to be "alive" in some parallel universe, he finds that giving them artificially happy and uncomplicated lives is satisfying, and assumes that his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|TRUE and LOYAL fanbase]] shares this interest.

Chris seeks to avoid tension or suspense that would trouble his creations and his intended audience wherever possible. Thus, he is unwilling to depict his characters in peril that is convincing, and therefore, "real," and wants to pair them off early and dwell on their long, idyllic romances. Villains tend to put up laughably little challenge, and the protagonists usually win with a show of devastating and effortless force. Virtually every fight ends with the heroes winning almost immediately and with little difficulty. Initially villains are allowed to posture about a little before Sonichu shows up to ruin their shit, but as the comic goes on and Chris comes into conflict with internet trolls, the battles become even ''shorter'' and ''less climactic'' for the sake of emphasis. Likewise, any instances emotional drama between characters are resolved immediately. The only time where a problem was resolved without an artificially cheery resolution was in [[Sonichu 11]], wherein [[Cera Rosechu]] fails to mend her relationship with [[Kevin the Jew]], though the character seems "over it" after crying a little about it.

Similarly, previews and allusions to the future always emphasize victory over the forces of evil. A vision of the PVCC attacking CWCville ends rather conclusively with Chris saying "Good, we've won!" A terse preview for the following issue completely dismantles all the tension in the only marginally dramatic plot arc: "Next issue I get out of the time void." His devotion to neutralising tension is such that in [[Sonichu 10]], Magi-Chan broke the fourth wall to prematurely reveal that he would eventually fall in love with Silvana, presumably so that readers would not have to worry about what would happen to them in the meantime. Even the worst writers would never use the words "spoiler alert" in one's own work (with experienced ones instead opting for foreshadowing), but Chris feels it necessary to spoil a yet-to-be-revealed plot point ''in the comic''.

As you might guess, on top of everything else, this makes the storyline for Sonichu '''unendurably boring.'''

Ironically, the sole exception to this rule is [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris himself]] - but even this treatment is baffling. As the activities of Comic-Chris are based on his Creator, he is unable to simply resolve Chris's [[Love Quest]] quickly and easily ([[Lovely Weather|but it doesn't stop him from trying]]). Thus, even while his doppelganger accumulates more and more superpowers and allies, he is still shown being curiously ineffectual, unable to handle [[W-M-Manajerk|most]] [[Wes Iseli|threats]] without help, and before long, his insipid romantic efforts have become the sole outstanding arc. However, this is less the result of Chris's skill at dramatic writing and more his lack of skill with love and life; that Comic-Chris fails even with every [[Yu-Gi-Oh|card]] stacked in his favor only reflects that the real one does, too, and whenever Chris thinks his Love Quest might be over in real life, he attempts to give it [[Sonichu Special #2|the typical easy resolution]] in the comics as well.

The actual plotting for Sonichu is problematic as well. Chris interjects new ideas very abruptly, and often with no real logic or progression, just because they caught his fancy. For instance, there's absolutely no reason for Chris to suddenly be using Yu-Gi-Oh cards and terms in [[Sonichu 5]]; he was just interested in them at the time he was writing it. There's no scene where Chris gets a magic deck of trading cards or anything to explain why he can suddenly cast spells. Likewise, as soon as Chris loses interest in an idea he presents in his comic, he will resolve it in a quick and often unsatisfying manner. Characters once meant to enter the main cast, such as [[Ivy]], will then be killed (off-panel, no less) so that Chris can proceed to his next plotline of interest. Other dropped narrative threads (such as [[Megan Schroeder|Meg-chan]] or [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]]) might only get a sentence or two tying up the loose end, and some (e.g. [[Jiggliami]]) are simply never referred to again.

The comic's narrative is yet further clouded by the unsteady rate at which Chris updates, along with his habit of occasionally working out of order. For example, Chris ends the last story in [[Sonichu 9]] with announcing that [[GodJesus]] had guided him to love with [[PandaHalo]] - only to have God and Jesus suddenly introduce him to Ivy in the very next issue with no explanation for why the Lord of Lords is backtracking on His dating advice to His favorite son.

When Chris adds something to a Sonichu comic due to the pressure of another party, he is known to make these additions unsatisfying on purpose for the parties requesting them. The most stupefying example may be the Time Void subplot. Written in after criticism that his alter-ego took up too much of the comic's time, Chris ''almost'' removes himself from the action for ''almost'' two issues, and when it unceremoniously ends, it just so happens to leave him ready to indulge in the most self-servicing revenge fantasy yet.

=== Visual clarity ===
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Chris's mind-boggling ability to make a completely unreadable page, hosted by what appears to be [[Chris and Religion|Father Christmas and Chris with a beard.]]]]
[[Image:SchuComic9P92.jpg|thumb|left|Holy balls, try reading ''this''.]]
[[IMage:MSCPython.jpg|thumb|right|Witty banter is considerably less funny when it's blatantly ripped off ''and'' you have to follow the numbers.]]
[[File:Son11p17.jpg|thumb|15 years of drawing ''Sonichu'' comics and Chris still can't lay out dialog.]]
Like many children, Chris is unconcerned with making his work clear and easily read. Chris does not plan page layouts in advance, and instead draws panels one at a time, cramming however many he can onto the page and further harming his comic's visual clarity. He does not understand (or perhaps care) that word balloons and text boxes must be arranged left to right and top to bottom in the intended order in each panel, and that the panel's art must be set to accommodate that order. The dialogue flow in panels with multiple word balloons in Sonichu regularly must be pieced together from context clues by the reader. The worst example of this is seen below: Chris establishing a reading order by numbering lines of dialogue.

== Chris as a poet and lyricist ==
: ''See also: [[Chris and music]]''

{{quote|I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her [[China|fancy]]; have her tickle my [[Duck|fancy]], and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.|Chris, expertly stirring feelings of both mild disgust and confusion<ref>For My True Love, I Would…</ref>}}

In poem and lyric, Chris has a poor understanding of the anatomy of an appealing composition. He mistakes exceedingly saccharine language for the romantic. He also pads out gaps with [[random-access humor]] and [[I Love Lucy|curiously dated language]].

He has total disregard for proper meter, and rhymes are forced with bizarre neologisms (''Rosey, as often as birds tweet/will you be my lovely heartsweet?''<ref>[[Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu]]</ref>). Sometimes he can't even manage to make it rhyme (''Heart-broken, sad and very lonely,/I may never remove my virginity.'')<ref>[[Saddest Heart in the World]]</ref>.

Not even the Bard of Avon is safe from Chris. In [[Sub-Episode 3]], a famous line from ''[[wikipedia:Macbeth|Macbeth]]'' has a stupid couplet of Chris's making tacked on to its end (I shatter hearts as I please! I hurt them hard with the greatest of ease!<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_20 Issue 4 Page 20]</ref>), while [[Bubbles]] mutilates a line from the ''[[Wikipedia:The Tempest|The Tempest]]'' in ''[[Sonichu 8]]''.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_95 Issue 8 Page 95] (paraphrasing Miranda's famous line, "O brave new world, That has such people in't!")</ref> Needless to say, the contrast is not that hard to see.

== Chris as a journalist ==
[[Image:199-newsdsh.jpg|left|thumb|"Yellow journalism" gone oh so horribly wrong]]

''[[Nintendo Power]]'' was a publication released by [[Nintendo]] about Nintendo products. It sought to inform video game enthusiasts anything they might want to know about Nintendo products, and how they should feel about them. It is easily Chris's single greatest journalistic influence. To this day, he seeks to plainly tell the masses what the truth is and how we should feel about it.

Chris's first notable work of journalism is his final project in high school, [[A Week With Christian Chandler]]. It is a prime example of Chris's understanding of [[honesty]]: the only thing that could reflect poorly on him in his mind was the omission of any fact; Chris saw fit to document anything and everything that happened, including [[Honor Roll|sleeping through class]]. At this early stage it seems that Chris was unwilling to massage the truth because he had yet to experience the disapproval of peers that concerned him, as the reactions of Internet trolls would later.

Chris's next journalistic effort came in college with ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'', which operated under the characteristic presumption that the details of his daily life were of inherent reader interest.

== Chris as a blogger ==
Chris's blogging is a continuation of his ''News Dash!'' mentioned above. In a way, Chris's first and most frequently updated blog was [[CWC's Sonichu Site!‎|his web page]], in which he posted "updates" about his goings-on (such as they were; most updates were simply denouncements of [[Mary Lee Walsh|a certain Dean]]). The site, however, was not in what most people would consider a blog format; instead of archiving and replacing old content with newer material, Chris simply stuck new updates wherever he could find new space that day, resulting in an erratic and bizarre page layout. He also experimented with conventional blog formats, and the results were only marginally easier to read.

To this date Chris has had several actual blogs:
*[[PSN Blogs]]
*[[The OFFICIAL Sonichu & Rosechu Blog]]
*[[MySpace|A small MySpace Blog]]
*[[CWC Blog]]
*[[Twitter]]

The location may change, but the [[Autism|style is consistent and unmistakable]]. This may be linked to Chris not knowing exactly the purpose of a blog. Ideally, on a blog, one publishes one's opinions and [[Love Quest|experiences]] in a group setting, allowing constant meaningful communication. While Chris has no problems [[CWCipedia|sharing intimate details about his life]], he doesn't seem to get the communicative part. Blogs are just another place for him to spew truth and [[honesty]], as well as to try to incite action against his detractors.

Another arguably more important fault with Chris's blogging is that '''Chris's blogs are fucking boring.''' Successful bloggers post about their life in much the same way as anybody else, but they know that they need to keep it entertaining to read. While Chris did unintentionally cause the occasional [[PSN Blogs#31 July 2007 16:37 — PaRappin Reviews of the Top 10!|laugh]], most entries are outright [[CWC Blog#24 August 2009|annoying]].

Arguably the most notable blog ever made by Chris was the infamous [[PSN Blogs#4 August 2007 — Adam Stackhouse!!!|Adam Stackhouse blog]]. Seething with [[anger]], Chris showed that — just like with [[Wikipedia]] — he doesn't want to contribute, but enforce his beliefs on anyone who will listen.

{{quote|In any case, I LOATHE Adam and his Sister for STEALING my one chance at taking my Sweet Gal-Friend to Seattle; it would have been terriffic. I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children (she and I are both virgins; although I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN. And I LOATHE Surybuchwald and Aprelewsky as well, because their MUSIC probably landed those [[JERKS]] in 2nd and 3rd.|Chris, demonstrating his able skills as net citizen}}

==Chris as an essayist==
{{Main|Manchester High Leaks}}

While in [[Manchester High School|high school]], Chris was persuaded to stop napping long enough to write [[Manchester High Leaks|several graded essays]]. The lessons he failed to learn from these experiences continue to influence his prose style. Chris's education in essay-writing seems to have been limited to the basic five-paragraph essay. Chris was trained to think of the intro paragraph as the "appetizer;" the body paragraphs, respectively, as "veggie," "potatoes/rice/pasta," and "meat;" and the conclusion as "dessert" ([[Obesity|anything related to food seems to reach Chris]]). Despite having such a sophisticated structural apparatus at his disposal, Chris's essays were shallow and incoherent (in part this was a product of the assignment restrictions--his essay, "Work vs. Student Life," for example, was only 100 words long). His history essay, "Japan, 1912-1949," which appears to be his first foray into the genre, lacks a clear thesis sentence, well-organized body paragraphs, or a meaningful conclusion (not to mention using WWI sources in points about WWII). His teacher understandably deemed it "very confusing & unclear." Another history essay, "Who was our best President?," does a better job of segregating main ideas within the three body paragraphs, but remains extremely rigid and rote. His "Canterbury Tales" essay has no real structure at all and simply retells one of Chaucer's morality tales in a rambling narrative. For this assignment, he received only two out of ten points for "Clarity of Expression."

These limitations and oversights have carried over into what nonfiction writing Chris has done as an adult. Nearly all of his nonfiction prose has been autobiographical (and what fiction he writes generally involves [[The High School Story|suspiciously familiar material]]). The only real exception has been "Chris Chan’s Heroic Dream for Our Community NOW and in the Future,"<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education CWCipedia article|CWCipedia]</ref>, his clarion call for [[Dating education|Dating Education]], which he submitted to a contest in 2009. Here there is nothing to suggest that Chris ever learned even the basics of essay writing, with its buried thesis, its unsupported paragraphs, its idiosyncratic capitalization, and a fucking frowny face. Chris's essays about his favorite subject--himself--similarly show little regard for writing standards. "Story of My Current Days" has a thesis of sorts, but the body is simply a clumsily-structured retelling of events which Chris expects the reader to glean meaning from without any assistance from him. His much expanded [[Chris's Wikipedia profile|Wikipedia profile]] has a self-serving thesis and is helpfully carved into subheadings, but remains fluid and disjointed. The several essays he wrote for the [[CWCipedia]] share the same first-draft problems of sentence-long paragraphs and an unappealing potpourri of boldface, italics, and capitalization.

== Chris's reading habits ==

Anyone who wants to be a good writer must be well-read. It's one of the most natural ways to become acquainted with good style, the elements of a plot, and correct spelling. Chris's [[Chris and his ego|ego]] is so inflated that he thinks he can produce something [[Honor roll|brilliant]] with no effort whatsoever. The only books Chris has ever been seen reading voluntarily are paperback ''Goosebumps'' and ''Fear Street'' novels by [[R.L. Stine]] which are notable only for their sheer mediocrity. Chris read these books, which were written for elementary schoolers, well into high school. In terms of the readings he was assigned at [[Manchester High School|Manchester High School]], Chris retained only a superficial understanding of them. During the [[Father Call]], Chris said that he read ''[[Wikipedia: To Kill a Mockingbird|To Kill a Mockingbird]]'' a mere month prior, which in all likelihood he only mentioned because it was assigned in high school. This was almost instantly proven false when he confused it with ''Of Mice and Men'', another high school assignment. The [[Manchester High Leaks|high school essay]] he wrote about a selection from Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" earned only a 69%.

== See also ==
* [[Chris and art]]
* [[Chris and English]]
* [[CWC's Diary]]
* [[R.L. Stine]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Writings}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Chris and}}

Collosal Chan

2016-09-26T21:58:48Z

MBG: This entire section is an unnecessary clusterfuck. (See discussion.)

[[Image:CollosalChan.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and money|"Change?! Ya got CHANGE?!"]]]]

'''Collosal Chris-chan''' [[Chris and English|[sic]]] is yet ''another'' Mary Sue form of [[Chris]] in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. He, like [[Ultra Sonichu]], is the result of "[[Sonichu Balls|Chaotic Crystal]] Power" after all seven of the Chaotic Crystals have assembled. Collosal Chan is surprisingly (or unsurprisingly, given [[Chris and reality|his creator's]] [[Chris_and_art#Visual_style_and_anatomy|reputation]]) the size of regular [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-chan]].

==Appearance==
[[Image:126398379142.jpg|thumb|A far better depiction of Collosal Chan.]]

The concept is that Collosal Chan is some kind of half-way point between regular Chris and [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. His medallion also changes from yellow to orange, just like [[Ultra Sonichu]].

However, in Chris's [[Chris and art|stunted ability]], this basically manifests itself as Chris-chan in a ratty vest, [[Chris and fashion|stupid hat]], and with a [[Inos|hobo]] beard. Why Chris would want to be a half-version of his actual super form doesn't make a bit of sense: how does having elements of the weaker Chris's body improve over just being a magic, omnipotent hedgehog? So far there is no reason to believe that the things Chris does as Collosal Chan couldn't also have been done by [[Chris-chan Sonichu]].

==''Sonichu'' #10==

Collosal Chris-chan makes his first and, if we're to take Chris's word for it, last appearance in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. Using the power of the Chaotic Crystals, he transforms into what is essentially a glorified super form, bearing [[Things Chris has ripped off|a few similarities]] to the Level 4 [[Dragon Ball Z|Super Saiyan]] transformation from ''[[wikipedia:List of Dragon Ball GT episodes|Dragon Ball GT]]''. For some reason, the [[Anime Wings]] won't cut it this time around, like they were used more than [[Sub-Episode 4|once]].

Despite the name, "Collosal" [[Chris-Chan]] appears to be [[Obesity|exactly the same size he always is]].

The first thing he does is rescue [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]]. Arriving in Minnesota, he [[Mass debating|jacks]] into the [[Hex Bawx|HEXBox]] of [[Alec Benson Leary]], enters its [[computer]] world, somehow deletes everything connected to the [[Asperpedia]], and blows up the HEXBox. He later helps Chris's version of the ''[[Asperchu]]'' characters in their fight against Metal Asperchu before travelling back to [[CWCville]] to finally confront [[Mary Lee Walsh]], whom he defeats promptly and unceremoniously.

{{clear}}
==Powers==

Collosal Chan has strange, almost godlike powers, the most basic of which are flight and telepathy. On top of that, he is shown to enter the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] effortlessly and retrieve [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]] from it, connect into a computer's USB port with his finger, create a version of himself to destroy everything, and create a Lightning Bomb that allows for controlled destruction by way of force fields.

He also has some basic combat abilities, most of them already available to regular, pussy [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|human Chris]] anyway. During his final fight with Mary, Chris is capable of creating solid weapons presumably out of pure electricity that [[Things Chris has ripped off|greatly resemble]] Kratos's blades from the video game ''[[God of War]]''.
[[Image:SSJ4Colossal Chan.png|thumb|[[Chris and copyright|What Chris wanted it to look like.]]]]
While logically, Collosal Chan has access to all the powers of his previous forms and any other Sonichu or Rosechu, these abilities have yet to be utilized. Collosal Chan can reasonably be expected to possess any power Chris considers necessary to save the day.

==Gallery==

<center><gallery>
Image:ColossalChan.jpg|Collosal Chan.
Image:SchuComic10P44.jpg|With [[Ultra Sonichu]].
Image:ColossalChanRealistic.jpg|THIS IS WHAT CHRIS ACTUALLY BELIEVES.
Image:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|The final battle.
</gallery></center>

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Characters]]

Transformers

2016-09-18T22:41:08Z

MBG: Do these things need a specific callout? The room article alone shows dozens of figures. Unless they've had specific usage (like the Megatron pistol or the 20th Anniversary Prime figure, what makes a few Armada toys special?

[[Image:SarahDeath.jpg|thumb|right|190px|[[Optimus Prime]], brutally murdering [[Sarah Jackson]].]]

{{taxpayermoney}}

'''Transformers''' are robots in disguise which are more than meets the eye, first introduced in 1984 by [[My Little Pony|Hasbro]]. [[Chris]] has been fascinated with the Transformers since he was young, and even well into adulthood invests his Transformers toys with great significance. Transformers have become a major presence in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]].

==Transformers in Chris's life==
While Chris isn't a dedicated collector, the jumbled mass of crap that fills his room includes several Transformers toys. Of particular note is his [[Optimus Prime]] toy, which he has often used as a sort of totem to reinforce his heterosexuality. When [[Clyde Cash]] forced him to "admit" that he was gay, Chris held his Prime toy tightly throughout [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|the video in question]], which he later explained was a way of asserting his straightness in spite of his words.

In [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris compares his Transformers and ''[[My Little Pony]]'' figurines as ways of studying the traits of the opposite gender and using them as roleplay models. It's possible that Chris really does practice what he preaches, and might pick Transformers and ''My Little Pony'' toys as comforting remnants of his (actual) childhood from the '80s and '90s.

Some of Chris's favorite popular music comes from [[Wikipedia:The Transformers The Movie: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack|the soundtrack]] to the animated movie ''[[Wikipedia:The Transformers: The Movie|The Transformers: The Movie]]''. He once recorded a [[Cwc dare|video]] of himself singing [[Wikipedia:Stan Bush|Stan Bush]]'s "Dare," and downloaded a number of other songs from the soundtrack - like [[Parody|"Dare To Be Stupid" by "Weird" Al Yankovic]] - from [[List of Chris's Rhapsody.com downloads|Rhapsody.com]]. [[Wikipedia:The Touch (Stan Bush song)|The Touch]] was also Chris's choice of song for [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|round 4]] of the [[SingStar Challenge]] against [[Liquid Chris]]. He lost. Chris also plagiarized one of Megatron's lines from the movie (''"I would have waited an eternity for this- it's over, Prime!"'') during the battle with Reldnahc in issue ten. In fact, the scenes in both cases are extremely similar- the hero is downed and evidently defeated, before performing one last defiant attack against the villain as they stand over them. Chris fills the role of Optimus Prime and Reldnach is Megatron- further evidence of Chris's self-identification with Optimus.

==Transformers in ''Sonichu''==
While they were not originally part of the ''Sonichu oeuvre'', Transformers slowly crept into the spotlight. [[Bagget]]'s "Change-Bot" [[Crackder]] was the first to join the series, in [[Sub-Episode 7]] of [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu #4'']]. Later on [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']] would introduce a flood of new Transformers, including [[Punchy]]'s motorcycle [[Prower]], the comic version of Chris's car [[Son-Chu]], the [[Jerkop Punislav]], and [[Armoraxe]].

In the comics, the Transformers are divided into the [[Samurai Pizza Bots]], the unfortunately named defenders of [[CWCville]], and the [[Decepti-Clones]], a much larger army under the control of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]. The Decepticons working for PVCC come in three variants and are all mass produced. They attack the city with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[Jerkop]] army in ''Sonichu #9'' and are completely wiped out during the course of the battle.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_9/Page_92</ref> The Autobots are far less numerous, only numbering five members, but are evidently much more powerful than their counterparts, as while the entire Decepti-Clone army is destroyed during the Battle of CWCville, the Autobots [[Chris and writing|do not lose a single member]].

==Transformers elsewhere==
For reasons that remain difficult to determine, Chris chose to depict the 18-wheeler that killed [[Sarah Jackson]] with Optimus Prime's distinctive red and silver paint job. Either Chris intentionally drew a Transformer crushing his would-be sweetheart, or (more likely) the image just bubbled up out of his infamously limited imagination.

[[Sonichu Special 4]] features Chris shooting his rival [[CChanSonichuCWC]] with what looks very much like an early Megatron toy. The [[Megatron pistol|real-life version]] also appears in some of Chris's videos. In [[CWC is Angry]] he shot at a picture of [[Adam Stackhouse]] with the mock pistol, while in the [[War Paint Video]] he used it to threaten all of his general enemies.

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Samurai Pizza Bots]], Chris's failbots of CWCville.
*[[Decepti-Clones]], Mary Lee Walsh's failbots of PVCC.
*[[Optimus Prime]]
*[[Megatron pistol]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Talk:Collosal Chan

2016-09-18T22:30:49Z

MBG:

Oh what the fuck is this.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:11, 24 November 2009 (CET)
*Apparently some sort of bizarre hybrid of human Chris and his mary-sue fursona. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 17:24, 5 January 2009 (EST)
:*but why a beard? This is so... WTF? [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:58, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
::*Unsure, but I think it's supposed to be that peach-colored fur around Sonichu's mouth. --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 10:02, 12 January (EST)
:::*I'm guessing this is the case, seeing as how he uses a limited pallet of what appears to be markers, and the peach-colored mouthfuzz is the same color as he draws human skin. He'd need to differentiate the two.--[[User:AIDSandstuff|AIDSandstuff]] 18:52, 3 February 2010 (UTC)

== Collosal??? ==

Is it mentioned anywhere that this character's entire name is a typo? I wanna pronounce it like Kolla Sal now. [[User:Martymoinklers|Martymoinklers]] 20:24, 6 September 2011 (PDT)

== Origin? ==

" Why Chris would want to be a half-version of his actual super form doesn't make a bit of sense: how does having the weaker Chris's body improve over just being a magic, omnipotent Hedgehog?"

I believe its copi- er, based on Goku's alternate forms. The first one, Oozaru, is just a giant monkey. The last one, Super Saiyan 4, is a half-monkey, half-man. The SS4 is infinitely more powerful then the Oozaru even though it looks like it should be the other way around. The SS4 also doesn't have the blonde hair the SS1, 2 and 3 are known for, which sort of makes him look like a "half-version" of them. I don't know if Chris has watched Dragon Ball, but sure seems like that to me.--[[User:Cresset|Cresset]] 10:59, 30 October 2011 (PDT)

== February 24, 2009 ==

"Magi-Chan then predicts that by February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be declared a holiday named "Christian Love Day", in honor of the man whose blood and time travel powers made it all possible."

I don't know how relevant this may be to this section, but by February of 2009, a number of pro-LGBT laws and bills in various states had been approved and moved forward, including the civil union bill in Hawaii (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_in_LGBT_rights#February). In fact, according to that same wikipedia article:

"The Colorado Senate approve[d] a domestic partner benefits bill that would make it easier for unmarried couples, including gays and lesbians, to make medical decision for incapacitated partners and leave property to their partners."

The bill was approved on, of course, February 24th. Happy Christian Love Day!

[[User:I Got A Fish|I Got A Fish]] 10:45, 16 March 2012 (PDT) I Got A Fish
* Actually, I would think that would go over on the [[Examples of Chris's Ego]] than Collosal Chan, since that one focuses more on his Christian Love Day more than here.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 13:01, 16 March 2012 (PDT)

== Things that Chris-chan fails to understand about such transformations ==
Okay, uh, does this section have any need to be here? It's ugly, badly-written, and seems to exist mostly as a rant about how Chris failed to respect the sanctity of a crappy Dragon Ball spinoff that isn't even canon anymore. I don't think failure to follow the exact procedure necessary to get an anime power upgrade that Collosal Chan barely resembles to begin with is needed to explain why the thing is terrible. [[User:MBG|MBG]] ([[User talk:MBG|talk]]) 22:30, 18 September 2016 (UTC)

South Park

2016-09-18T22:12:47Z

MBG:

[[File:ChrisChanSP.png|800px|center]]
{{Quote|Hey, [[Vivian]]. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the [[Stress|less dramatic]], [[Random-access humor|more comical]] episodes. ROFL|Chris<ref>[[List of Christian's comments on Youtube]]</ref>}}
[[Image:CADD_Chef.jpg|thumb|"Grade-F destruction"? Really?]]

'''''South Park''''' is a popular animated comedy program airing on Comedy Central since 1997. [[Chris]] is an avowed fan of the series. His collection of [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|PlayStation Network video downloads]] and [[Netflix]] downloads include dozens of ''South Park'' episodes, and he's swiped both its content and style on more than one occasion in his comics.

==South Park in ''Sonichu''==

===Beel===

{{main|Beel}}

Beel is the receptionist at the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. His appearance seems to be somewhat based on the [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Satan|Satan]] character on ''South Park'', with the exception of his lack of facial hair and cloven hooves as featured on Satan. The Satan character on the show is a [[homos|homo]], and was engaged in love affairs with [[Wikipedia:List of supporting characters on South Park#Saddam Hussein|Saddam Hussein]] and other male characters. In Sonichu 10, Beel uses the line "where I was going to go, Detroit?"<ref>''[[Sonichu 10|Sonichu #10]]'', [[:File:SchuComic10P32.jpg|p. 32]].</ref> As Chris himself has confirmed, this is a plagiarism from a [[Wikipedia:Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?|South Park episode]].<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>

===CADD Chef===
{{main|CADD Chef}}
CADD Chef is a minor villain. One can easily tell that this character (although based on Kene Meniru, one of Chris's teachers at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]) is a blatant ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Isaac Hayes|Isaac Hayes]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Chef (South Park)|Chef]]" character from ''South Park'', not just in appearance but also in one of his quotes.

===[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]]===

The title of Chris's gallery of hideous Rule 34 is copied from the title of the [[video game]] ''[[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|South Park: Chef's Luv Shack]]''.

===[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]===

[[Wikipedia:Stan Marsh|Stan]], [[Ruckersville, VA|Kenny]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Cartman]], [[Niggos|Token]] and [[Sweetheart|Wendy]] make cameo appearances in the "Dating Education" episode.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville//SchuComic10P7.jpg Sonichu 9]</ref>

==Chris fails to grasp ''South Park''==

After the release of Chris's audio recording of his [[April 2010]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|confrontation with Michael Snyder]], [[Vivian Gee]] used that audio to compose a parody video, setting the recording to a ''South Park''-style animation that featured Chris in the role of a bigoted Cartman-esque character.

Chris commented on the video's [[YouTube]] page, having fundamentally missed the point: "I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" Parody; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY!"

It appears that Chris doesn't understand the show's presentation of characters like Cartman. While Cartman (and to a lesser extent his friends, when they're in their more sociopathic modes) is meant to come across as a selfish little snot devoid of any redeeming qualities, Chris apparently views him as some kind of role model or example of appropriately entertaining behavior, hence his obvious pleasure at the comparison Vivian's video created. Further evidence of Chris having a positive view of Cartman appears in [[Mailbag_35#In_which_Chris_tells_us_that_we_need_to_go_look_up_what_he_stole_from|Mailbag 35]], where Chris seems to see Cartman as a good Christian looking to save the souls of rest of the children on the show<ref>[[Mailbag 35#In which Chris tells us that we need to go look up what he stole from]]</ref>, though in [[Update: 2/25/16|some cases]], perhaps not.

Chris rarely understands any moral dispensed by television. When he does take one, it's because he's decided that it can be used to justify whatever tomfoolery he's been up to. Unsurprisingly, Chris often misses the original point completely. For example, while attempting to justify his attempt to pretend to be Liquid in an attempt to steal his girlfriend, he claimed that he was "Wrong, but for the right reasons." This comes from another episode of South Park called "Best Friends Forever", where, after a satire of the Terri Schiavo controversy, it is stated that Cartman was "Right, but for the wrong reasons". In context, it meant that his goal of shutting down the vegetative Kenny's life support was the right thing to do (for reasons involving the fate of the universe that are too complex to explain here), but his motivation was completely off mark: he only did it because he knew that Kenny's death would cause him to inherit his PSP. Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were "Wrong, but for the right reasons", as they wanted to keep Kenny alive in a perpetual vegetative state even though they should just let him die, but they were doing so because they actually cared about Kenny, rather than exploiting the situation for their own benefit like Cartman was. Chris seems to have interpreted this as "If you do a bunch of bad things, like pretending to be someone else in order to steal their girlfriend, you are completely justified in doing so if your dishonest actions lead to a positive outcome, like proving that you are the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler and getting laid".

His fear of homosexuals destroying the future, incidentally, emerged from an episode of ''[[South Park]]'' called "[[Wikipedia:Goobacks|Goobacks]]", which was a satire on the controversy of illegal immigration. In the episode, a group of rednecks who had lost their jobs to the illegal immigrants from the future decided that the best way to get their jobs back was to destroy the future by making everyone gay so there wouldn't be anybody in the future. It should be noted that although Chris undoubtedly believes South Park is anti gay, the show itself actually preached tolerance towards homosexuals in the episode "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride", which was only the fourth episode of the show's run and introduced the recurring character Big Gay Al, who has been portrayed positively in each of his appearances. In addition, the show openly supported gay marriage in the 2005 episode "Follow That Egg". Show creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are members of the Libertarian Party, which is known for their support of gay marriage, and would probably be none too pleased with Chris's interpretation of the show's stance on homosexuality.

Chris believes that every fictional character in existence, including his own, inhabits some alternate plane of reality where they can interact with one another. This belief may have partially stemmed from the episode "Imaginationland", which depicted such a locale.

The episode "[[Wikipedia:Guitar Queer-O|Guitar Queer-O]]" parodied the ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' series by depicting the rise-and-fall narrative of many musician stories through the lens of the game, and had characters treating genuine guitar skill dismissively. At one point, a character is stated to be able to play the game "acoustically", shown by having him play an unplugged ''Guitar Hero'' controller and produce an indecipherable clicking of buttons. This episode could well have influenced Chris's [[Chris and music#Instruments|belief]] that playing ''Guitar Hero'' is just as impressive as the real thing, and [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|a few videos]] show similar acoustic performances.

==Other mentions==
*Chris left [[IRC (16 October 2008)]] because "[[Wikipedia:Breast Cancer Show Ever|Breast Cancer Show Ever]]" was coming on. He used a quote from this episode ("I am going to shove your ass down your throat and make you eat your underwear!") in [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|his threat to]] [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]].
*During a chat, [[PandaHalo|Panda]] suggested to Chris to put a butt plug inside his ass in order to prevent himself from releasing flatulence. Chris declined, saying that "constriction of the gas-release can result in spontaneous combustion",<ref name=IRC27Dec2008 /> a belief he most likely picked from the ''South Park'' episode [[Wikipedia:Spontaneous Combustion (South Park)|''Spontaneous Combustion'']].
*Chris bought [[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|''South Park: Chef's Luv Shack'']] and the "When Technology Attacks!" [[PSP|UMD]].<ref>[[List of Chris's games]]</ref>
*Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Make Love, Not Warcraft|''World of Warcraft'']]<ref name=IRC27Dec2008>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref> and [[Wikipedia:Guitar Queer-O|''Guitar Hero'']]<ref>[[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref> episodes.
*Chris imitated [[Wikipedia:List_of_other_South_Park_residents#Towelie|Towelie]] and criticized [[Wikipedia:Kenny McCormick|Kenny]] in [[CWCFlyingElephants]].
*Chris told [[Clyde]] and [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]], "You both want me to even Beg, you can go point at your own damn snouts and Oink like Eric Cartman, and then Rape yourselves with your own Damn [[Star Wars|Darth Maul Dual LightSabre]]."<ref>[[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails]]</ref>; Cartman's oinking is in reference to "[[Wikipedia:Scott Tenorman Must Die|Scott Tenorman Must Die]]".
*''Scott Tenorman Must Die'' was also referenced by Chris while talking to [[BlueSpike]]. BlueSpike (posing as Max) wanted to get Chris to burn down his house. Chris did not want to do that, so he began to sing "I'm a Little Piggy", hoping that this would satisfy BlueSpike.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself#Burn your house down (35:20-37:50)]]</ref> In the aforementioned South Park episode, Scott makes Cartman sing the the same song for his own amusement.
*Chris referred to Randy Marsh's "naggers" controversy ("[[Wikipedia:With Apologies to Jesse Jackson|With Apologies to Jesse Jackson]]").<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 10]]</ref>
*He created a ''[[Guitar Hero]] South Park'' [[Quizzes|quiz]].
*He used Cartman's catchphrase "You’re breaking my balls here" in [[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]].
*He got Panda a musical card where Cartman/Jennifer Lopez sing the "Taco Flavored Kisses" song from "[[Wikipedia:Fat Butt and Pancake Head|Fat Butt and Pancake Head]]."<ref>[[Clyde E-mails]]</ref>
*On 30 [[October 2013]], Chris wrote that one of the reasons he doesn't commit suicide is because "premature death leaves one in Limbo".<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts# Reality Comes Knocking]]</ref> This belief does not cohere with the protestant theology of his [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|Church]], according to which salvation is achieved by faith alone. However, it is in line with the South Park episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is revealed that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.
*In [[Chris Calls Clyde Out]], Chris mocks Clyde by impersonating him as [[Wikipedia:Tuong Lu Kim|Tuong Lu Kim]], a South Park character.
*In [[June 2015]], Chris [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Random-Access Swedish|replied]] to a Facebook post mentioning the Swedish Chef with a reference to one of fictitious Rob Schneider film trailers from "[[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|The Biggest Douche in the Universe]]" (which, incidentally, brought popular awareness to the term "[[My Little Pony|Derp]]").

==See also==
*''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
*''[[Family Guy]]''
*[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]
*[[CWCFlyingElephants]]
*[[Getting Foam Ed‎]]
*[[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW]]
*[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
*[[Quizzes#Guitar_Hero_South_Park|''Guitar Hero South Park'' MyBUZZ! quiz]]

==References==
<references />

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]