CWCki - User contributions [en]

2009

2010-07-10T09:30:22Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:2009.JPG|thumb|Graph showing the Google-popularity of the terms ''Sonichu'' (red) and ''Christian Weston Chandler'' (blue). '''2009''' is marked in Mellow Yellow.]]
[[Image:How-to-talk-to-girls-cover.jpg|thumb|Chris's [[How to Talk to Girls|literary pick of the year]].]]

Throughout '''2009''', the life of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] became unreal and semi-controlled, facilitated by the apparent lack of know-how and interest in his life from his parents. The first, unsmooth, wave of [[trolls|trolling]] from [[2008]] was replaced by a [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|more organized]], [[CWCki|more obsessive]] and more complex second wave, leading to far-reaching insight into Chris's life, and [[sex tape|things]] we can never unsee.

==January==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[January 2009]]''', Chris crushed his [[vibrator]] to show that he is straight.]]

{{main|January 2009}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler]] spent most of his time in January under the assumption that [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] and [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] of [[Nintendo]] were in regular contact with him, arranging a partnership to create a series of [[video games]] based on [[Sonichu]]. This hoax primarily involved Miyamoto and Fils-Aimé asking Chris about his background, forcing Chris to explain away things like the information on his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. During this month, Chris's [[Sonichu.net]] website would be hacked, causing him to abandon it and launch [[Sonichu.info]], which was then also immediately hacked. On 5 January, Chris completed the long-awaited Spring Break feature of ''[[Sonichu 8]]'', after being prompted by the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]]. Ryan's brother [[Clyde Cash]] would emerge this month, blaming Chris for Ryan's death and threatening to seek revenge. In time, both the Miyamoto saga and the website hacking would be attributed to the master plan of Clyde and his [[The Miscreants|secret organization bent on ruining Chris's life]], giving Chris an archenemy to rail against.

==February==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|thumb|In '''[[February 2009]]''', footage was leaked of Chris and [[Kimmi]] having an intimate moment.]]
{{main|February 2009}}

February saw several transitions for our hero. His online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], who supposedly lived in South Australia, ended when he decided she was killed by brushfires. However, Chris would quickly bounce back, winning the heart of [[Julie]] in a relationship that would elicit [[For Julie's Eyes Only|far more disturbing revelations]]. That the trolls posing as Nintendo officials very nearly tricked him into traveling to Redmond taught him nothing, though. By the end of February Chris really did travel all the way to Cleveland, Ohio in a futile effort to visit Julie.

==March==
[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[March 2009]]''', Chris gave us a tour of his [[house]].]]
{{main|March 2009}}

March began with the conclusion of the Julie saga, when Julie revealed to Chris that she was actually a 13-year-old boy known as [[BlueSpike]]. Chris didn't let this put him down, though, and shortly after this fiasco got in touch with [[Emily]]. His short relationship with her climaxed during a date at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], where Chris was accompanied by his [[Bob|father]], however the date ended abruptly when Emily was taken away by the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. March ended with Chris finding himself yet another sweetheart, [[Ivy]], and during the month's last week he produced several videos that he dedicated to her. Leading up to the last days of March, Chris also started showing more and more [[rage]] towards Clyde Cash, and in the end even announced that he would leave [[YouTube]] forever.

==April==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|In '''[[April 2009]]''' footage is leaked of Chris wearing [[butt garments]].]]
{{main|April 2009}}

Throughout April, Chris was strongly in love with his [[sweetheart]] Ivy. Although previously stating that he would quit YouTube forever, Chris returned to making videos within 10 days of his departure. He uploaded several videos for Ivy, and also drew her a few comics; the new material showed more and more of Chris's [[sex]]ually deviant side. As April continued, Chris was suddenly caught up in yet another scandal, as audio emerged of him having cyber-sex with a troll posing as movie star [[Vanessa Hudgens]]. Chris showed great remorse towards Ivy for his behavior, and attempted to turn the tables by [[CWC's_"It's_All_Coming_Back_To_Me"|proposing marriage]]. April ended with Chris in a severely disturbed relationship, doing all he could to cling to his latest sweetheart.

==May==
[[Image:CWCVictoryForIvy.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[May 2009]]''', Chris is [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|holding out for an hero]].]]
{{main|May 2009}}

As May began, Chris still held a strong belief in his relationship with Ivy, and during the first two weeks uploaded even more videos dedicated to her. As a result, a number of mainstream media, including a TV series and talk-radio show, featured Chris, revealing his bizarre behavior to a massive new audience. On 14 May, things took another bad turn for Chris, when he found out that Ivy (surprise, surprise) was actually a troll. Thanks to this disappointment, during the last weeks of May, Chris decided to return to his earlier methods of pursuing a romantic relationship and started going out in public again.

==June==
[[Image:CWCipedia_Introduction.jpg|thumb|In '''[[June 2009]]''', Chris starts working on his own [[CWCipedia|wiki]].]]
{{main|June 2009}}

In June, despite his 15 minutes of fame in May, Chris returned to relatively minor presence on the [[Internet]]. A few [[trolls|field agents]] befriended Chris, however, and started taking him out to bars. Several videos were leaked showing Chris enjoying the night-life with the trolls, and some footage even revealed that Chris had taken up drinking [[alcohol]], a habit that he claimed to detest before actually giving it a try. In June Chris also began using [[CWCipedia]], a sub-site of the [[CWCki]], as his own site. Slowly Chris began writing original articles, thus adding tons of information about his life and philosophy that was unavailable beforehand.

== Julay ==
[[Image:1247626135478.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[July 2009]]''', Chris is [[Two's company snapshots|spotted with a female]].]]
{{main|July 2009}}

In July Chris apparently continues his newfound, somewhat wilder, lifestyle, and more footage is leaked of Chris's activities in real life. Several photographs appear of him going to a bar with a heavy girl, and later on a video is shown of Chris hanging around in [[Charlottesville]]. As the month goes on, Chris suddenly takes interest in the saving of [[Charlottesville]]'s [[McIntire Park]]; Chris manages to get himself on TV two times by behaving retardedly, but nobody really cares. Halfway through the month, the man known only as [[Liquid Chris]] appears on YouTube, claiming that he is the [[copyright]] holder of Sonichu, and that he is the real Christian Chandler. Chris doesn't take lightly to this threat, and as July draws to a close, the situation becomes grimmer and grimmer. On the last days of July, Chris initiates the [[SingStar Challenge]], a singing competition that should determine who is the real Chris-Chan.

==August==
[[Image:CWCvsIanGuitar.jpg|thumb|In '''[[August 2009]]''', [[Liquid Chris]] responds to Chris's [[SingStar Challenge]].]]
{{main|August 2009}}

The first half of August is mainly filled with a large war between Chris and Liquid Chris about who is the real Christian Weston Chandler, but it is also slowly becoming apparent that Chris has his eyes on Liquid's girlfriend, [[Kacey]]. Eventually Liquid backs off, and Chris has time to work on his comics again. As August draws to an end, however, [[Bob]] starts to complain to Chris about [[Tour of Chris's House|video footage]] of the messy Chandler [[house]]hold being on the Internet, fearing that the city housing association could put them out of their house. Chris tries his best to take these videos down, but the more he pleads, the more the videos are actually spread; eventually, Bob shouts at Chris for his incompetence - online. August ends with a short-lived attempt of Chris to get the trolls to believe that he has a split personality.

==September==
[[Image:Meat.jpg|thumb|left|In '''[[September 2009]]''', Chris puts two of his [[gitar]]s on [[eBay]].]]
{{main|September 2009}}
September started with a small feud between Chris and the troll [[Vivian Gee]], who created the ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' [[Audiobooks]] and used to be his friend; the argument would end within a week with Chris throwing a fit, and Vivian mock-deleting her videos. Halfway through the month, however, Chris decided to upload a long series of ''Sonichu'' [[Videobooks]], in which he read the comics on film. This effort would take up pretty much all of Chris's time until it was finished near the 20th. The last weeks of September would be filled with Chris raging at the trolls, most notably Clyde Cash and [[Gregg Mays]].

==October==
[[Image:Sports-bra-DERP-dumb-look.jpg|thumb|In '''[[October 2009]]''', Chris buys his first "[[muscle bra]]".]]
{{main|October 2009}}

The first two weeks of October were mainly filled with Chris raging at trolls and trying to dispel rumors that he was [[gay]]. Halfway the month, however, Liquid Chris re-emerged, and Chris shifted some of his attention back to his old enemy. The last half of the month was filled with Chris raging at Liquid, and him trying to take away Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey, by showing his strength. However, Chris also took his time to unfold a complex and mysterious attempt at blackmailing Clyde Cash.

==November==
{{main|November 2009}}

Chris opened the month of November with a bang, uploading a staggeringly tone-deaf parody of the September 11 [[terrorist]] attacks to YouTube as part of his abortive campaign to blackmail Clyde Cash. This outrage was soon overshadowed by the total collapse of his relationship with Kacey, as chronicled in a pair of leaked phone calls that showed Chris at his desperate, dishonest, sniveling worst. However, he recovered from these setbacks with aplomb - after acquiring what he believes is an official government seal of approval for Sonichu's copyright, Chris once again embarked on his quest to turn the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] into a multimedia empire. Towards the end of the month, Chris began to update the comic on an almost daily basis and answering the [[Mailbag]] on CWCipedia.

==December==
[[Image:RapeRap.JPG|thumb|In '''[[December 2009]]''' Chris spits a rape rap.]]
{{main|December 2009}}

Chris started the month answering the Mailbag, but with shorter, less-enthusiastic answers. He also created additional "rejected" mail to handle questions that made him feel uncomfortable - namely, those dealing with homosexuality and [[autism]]. He would also publish a vitriolic screed against people with [[Asperger's Syndrome]] and upload several disturbing YouTube videos. Unflattering photos of him appeared on a Times Square Billboard, mostly real pictures of him drinking his [[semen]], and he was also further infuriated by increasingly explicit pro-gay banner ads which appeared on CWCipedia, prompting him to write a letter to President [[Barack Obama]] requesting that the gay ads be made illegal. On December 7, after more than one year in making, ''[[Sonichu 9]]'' was finally completed.

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

April 2010

2010-05-01T10:08:14Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|On '''5 April''', Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad is discovered.]]
[[File:Ima42Bust.jpg|thumb|On '''21 April''', a video is leaked showing Chris being highly disturbing. This image sums the video up nicely.]]
[[File:SonichuBra.jpg|thumb|On '''23 April''', Chris remembers it is Autism Awareness Month and invents a new law to prevent men from being shirtless.]]
[[File:SchuComic11P32Troll.jpg|thumb|On '''24 April''', an Impostor Chris sends his webmaster some new pages...]]
[[File:Schu11Placeholder.jpg|thumb|... and on '''26 April''', Chris hides them with this.]]

Throughout '''April 2010''', Chris's online activity has been pretty sporadic, both due to him trying to stay off and free himself from the influence of the Internet (probably prompted by [[Rocky Shoemaker|an outside force]]), and because a new potential [[sweetheart]], named "Jackie", had started to exchange emails with him.

The month started with the [[CWCipedia]] looking like the owner's [[duck]]. That is, to say, mangled beyond recognition. The website was stripped of its flesh and colors, pictures and formatting, leaving behind only a skeleton of HTML code, [[Patti|like the remains of an animal that's been dug up after many years in the ground]]. This was probably due to 110mb being shit as usual.

Chris has also acted on his [[Death threats|threat]] of "trouble from himself personally" after the expiration of his ultimatum. However, being the fatass dumbfuck that he is, all his vandalism was noticed and quickly reverted. However, he wasn't banned by order of the great [[Clyde Cash]].

On 5 April, however, Chris's second [[The Hook Cafe]] ad was discovered, further cementing the fact that he only wants a sweetheart for the [[hanky-panky]]. Said ad was deleted on 9 April.

A week later, Chris returned to the GAMe PLACe in an attempt to get his permaban removed so he can start bogarting everything. The manager, Michael Snyder, was unmoved and told Chris to get out, prompting Chris to show himself as a [[Chris and race|horrible bigot]] once again by using the word "Jew" as an insult (even though Michael is not Jewish). Chris posted a video of the incident, then posted an image on the CWCipedia asking his fans, [[A Message to the Trolls|the same ones he compared to trolls a month ago]], to [[Chris and hypocrisy|troll]] him and ask why he's playing [[Kick the Autistic]]. Not only did this, as expected, not work, Michael was, quite to the contrary, subsequently hailed as a hero for keeping the anti-semitic man-child down.

After his rejection from the GAMe PLACe however, Chris once again turned to Sonichu, for the first time all month, when he went about writing several biographies for the Chaotic Combo, which he then followed up with a lulzworthy history of all female interaction he has ever had. He ranked his childhood teacher among potentential crushes too, just for extra WTF.

Chris managed to keep quiet about Jackie (probably having learned something from the whole [[Wallflower]] incident), and her existence was not known to the general public of trolls, before she leaked the whole email correspondence and a deliciously creepy video by Chris to the [[CWCki]].

Near the end of the month things finally took a turn for the interesting on the CWCipedia. Several episodes of the Sonichu Comic were deleted for their use of Copyrighted characters, and some bold impostor sent Chris's Wikisysop a batch of new pages for [[Sonichu 11]]. These less-than true and honest pages attempted to end Sonichu for good, featuring the deaths of many main characters, ending with Sonichu and Rosechu's bitter divorce. Sadly, Chris noticed relatively quickly, and replaced all the troll pages with placeholder images.

==Events of April 2010==

* 01 April - Chris, as if his [[Death threats#Cogsdev|threat]] were an April Fools joke, [[fail|fails]] to act or [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] against the [[CWCki]].
* 02 April - Chris [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|remembers his threat]], and [[Template:DYK|vandalizes]] [[Template:Article of the now|three]] [[Template:Picture of the now|templates]]. His edits are quickly reverted.
* 04 April - 110mb gets its act together and the CWCipedia returns.
* 05 April - Chris's [[The Hook Cafe]] personal ad is discovered, which blatantly broadcasts the fact that he's just after [[hanky-panky]] now.
* 05 April - First of the [[Jackie|Jackie E-Mails]] is sent.
* 09 April - Chris's [[The Hook Cafe]] personal ad is deleted, along with a bunch of troll ads. He is likely attempting to hide the fact that he's picked up Jackie.
* 10 April - Chris updates his blog and Captain's Log, breaks his exile from the internet to claim that pages are being drawn and that the ads will not phase him.
* 11 April - Chris visits [[The GAMe PLACe]] after Church. One of the cashiers reconizes him and threatens to call the police. Chris flees.
* 12 April - Knowing that [[Michael Snyder]] is present, Chris revisits the The GAMe PLACe with his digital camera in his pocket and records his attempt to get himself unbanned. Michael tells him off and starts calling the police, causing Chris to flee again. Later that day, Chris releases [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|the audio recording]] of the event, but it is quickly removed.
* 13 April - Chris posts a [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|picture]] on the CWCipedia asking his fans to call Michael Snyder and ask him he wants to play Kick the Autistic.
* 14 April - Chris continues to undo [[CWCipedia]] vandalism, and writes biographies for the members of the [[Chaotic Combo]].
* 16 April - Chris waits for [[Jackie]] at the Starbucks Kiosk at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|mall]]. She doesn't show up, again shattering his heart level to 15%.
* 19 April - Chris creates a new "[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]" page, where he drops [[the Wallflower]]'s real name ''again''. Apparently traumatized by his failed CWCki "attack", he also creates a page titled "The Christian Truth", which currently links to the revised ED page and the Gal-Pals page, and promises "Plenty More to Come".
* 19 April - Shortly after publishing the original page, Chris deletes [[Tiffany Robinson]], [[Virginia Sanford]], [[Natasha Turner]], [[Sarah Anne Bevel]], [[Molly Quarles]], and [[Miranda Joyce Mitchell]] from his list of gal-pals. However, the Wallflower section remains unchanged.
* 20 April - Chris makes a [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|page]] dedicated to [[The Wallflower]]. Chris later blanks the page and changes the Wallflower's name to her pen name on the Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts page. Then, he goes and recreates the page using her penname.
* 21 April - Last of the [[Jackie|Jackie E-Mails]] is sent.
* 21 April - Jackie emerges, leaking a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|disturbing video]] and [[Jackie e-mails|all]] [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|supporting]] [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|documentation]] directly to the CWCki.
* 23 April - Chris releases a [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]] asking for understanding for autistic people whilst wearing nothing but a bra.
* 24 April - The Sysop deletes a bunch of comic pages due to various forms of copyright infringement and, for reasons unknown, uploads [[Sonichu 11]] in a version that appears to be not entirely True and Honest and updates the blog.
* 26 April - Chris reverts the changes made by the Sysop and issues a stern warning on his blog. The reverted pages are replaced with Stress placeholders. He also makes his own OFFICIAL version of the autism awareness ad that better fits [[Aspergers Syndrome|his views]].
{{Timeline}}

Template:Timeline

2010-05-01T10:04:57Z

MaesterTonberry:

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[CWChronology]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px" |
<center>
'''By year:''' 
'''[[1980s]] - '''
[[1980]] |
[[1981]] |
[[1982]] |
[[1983]] |
[[1984]] |
[[1985]] |
[[1986]] |
[[1987]] |
[[1988]] |
[[1989]]

'''[[1990s]] - '''
[[1990]] |
[[1991]] |
[[1992]] |
[[1993]] |
[[1994]] |
[[1995]] |
[[1996]] |
[[1997]] |
[[1998]] |
[[1999]]

'''[[2000s]] - '''
[[2000]] |
[[2001]] |
[[2002]] |
[[2003]] |
[[2004]] |
[[2005]] |
[[2006]] |
[[2007]] |
[[2008]] |
[[2009]]

'''[[2010s]] - '''
[[2010]] |
[[2011]]
 
 
'''By month:''' 
'''[[2009]] - '''
[[January 2009|Jan]] |
[[February 2009|Feb]] |
[[March 2009|Mar]] |
[[April 2009|Apr]] |
[[May 2009|May]] |
[[June 2009|Jun]] |
[[July 2009|Jul]] |
[[August 2009|Aug]] |
[[September 2009|Sep]] |
[[October 2009|Oct]] |
[[November 2009|Nov]] |
[[December 2009|Dec]]

'''[[2010]] - '''
[[January 2010|Jan]] |
[[February 2010|Feb]] |
[[March 2010|Mar]] |
[[April 2010|Apr]] |
[[May 2010|May]]
|}

<includeonly>[[Category:Chronology]]</includeonly>
<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san

2010-04-30T08:55:54Z

MaesterTonberry:

During his talks with [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to produce his own line of video games, [[Christian]] hits a snag when Miyamoto jumps to the conclusion that he is talking to a troll and not the real Christian Weston Chandler. To recover the trust of his business partner, Chris rushes to produce this video, in which he appeals to Miyamoto's cultural background by saying (in an obnoxious accent) things he has heard Japanese people say. [[Wikipedia:Customs and etiquette of Japan#Bowing|He also bows like a woman]], [[Wikipedia:Japanese_phonology#Vowels|mispronounces Miyamoto's name]], and [[Wikipedia:Japanese_honorifics#San|redundantly addresses him as Mr. Miyamoto-san]], which is essentially "Mr. Mr. Miyamoto."

Chris also verifies his identity with several unimpeachable methods:

# He says he is the real Christian Weston Chandler and asks that the viewer believe him.
# He holds up his driver's license, proving that he is someone who might be able to obtain a fake ID.
# He shows off his [[Wii Remote of Fail|custom-painted Wii controllers]], which everyone knows only the real CWC could possess.

==Video==

<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san
| image = {{#ev:youtube|E_lA0BTq6kk}}
| Stardate = 17 January 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games|text}}
| Performance Style = {{Reason|text}}
| Saga = {{Miyamoto|text}}
| Shirt = {{VertBlueGrayShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009#Video|Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Update 18 January 2009#Video|CWC Update 18 January 2009]]
}}</center>

{{quote|I am a real deal, believe me.}}

===Transcript===

[''bows deeply''] ''Ohayō'', Mr. Miyamoto-san.

[''loudly sets down Wii Remote and Nunchuk''] I am he—I have br—decided to, uh, do this video standing up, as I felt it more appropriate... so that I could also loan myself to bow for your presence and such. [''inhales deeply'']

Anyway... I have checked my, uh, e-mail account. No trolls have sent any—any slanderous e-mails or—''any'' e-mails, or... nobody has hacked my AOL account of chrischansonichu@aol.com. So... you ha—so, you’re still talking to the real Christian Weston Chandler. [''removes glasses dramatically''] Believe me. [''inhales deeply, sighs, and returns glasses to face'']

And also, uh, y’know, I’ve sent you a...nother... Also, I can also further prove it... [''reaches into pocket''] My driver’s license. [''holds out license for a close-up''] I cover my, uh... number on there... but if you look closely enough, you can—if you look at—in one part, if you—you can see the, uh, “Virginia”... and the ''state'' numbers on there. [''puts license back in pocket''] The state-shaped logo on there.

And also, Mr. Miyamoto... [''picks up Wii Remote and Nunchuk''] my Wii Remote and Nunchuk. [''holds out Nunchuk proudly''] “We would like to play” [''bows as if presenting the Wii Remote and Nunchuk''] to quote [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP-THj03Zk4 the commercial] in a honorable way, if I may. [''sets Wii Remote and Nunchuk back down'']

So, Mr. Miyamoto, please, uh... do not i—do not disres—do not, uh, a—do not, uh, quote me as a—a troll, because I am a real deal, believe me. I mean, although I guess I do deserve it, upon retrospect, since I, uh... [''inhales deeply and sighs''] made the, uh, accusation myself. So, hopefully, we can set this—set this minor business as—minor bit of bad business aside... and continue on for ''good'' business. And hopefully, I will be able to, uh, meet with you in Redmond... as soon as possible. I’ll be talking to my church congregation tomorrow.

And, uh, I wish you a pleasant day, Miyamoto-san. [''bows'']

''Sayōnara'' for now.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Video Games]]

Prank calls

2010-04-21T08:03:27Z

MaesterTonberry:

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire internet. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to YouTube, providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|3whf9k9z_Nk}}
</center>

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why did you start doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Bob:''' Don't call us anymore. Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==
A troll using a soundboard of a super loud Fundamentalist yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|V2yasF8ngxU}}
</center>

{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, [''Something Unintelligible''], why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Did you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You've got an issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupts''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I haven't even beginning to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I will show you what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Something Unintelligible''], bring yourself buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey buddy. Listen boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen boy! You get your flack-ass down in the gutter and stay there. Do you understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' ... put my husband and talk that way. I tell you what, why dont you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think i am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God Forgive you
 '''Bob:''' I wish you knew what number you called, because i think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house, who do you think you are calling my house.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what,[''Something Unintelligible''], why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''Bob and Barbara discuss in the background''] You'd better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house, who do you think you are calling my house.
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said hello.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got an issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''Barbara tells Bob something in the background''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' ... bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up.'']
 '''Troll:''' Hello sir.
 '''Bob:''' You get your black ass in the gutter, and stay there.
 '''Troll:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob:''' Thanks buddy.

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

== Chris calls Mary Lee Walsh and Michael Snyder ==
A troll using a soundboard of Chris prank calls [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Michael Snyder]]. However, both realize the caller to be a fake and hang up.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|YbIKBMHi6ms}}
</center>

==== Transcript (Mary) ====
'''Mary:''' Hello, Mary Lee Walsh?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You've been nothing but- nothing but a pain in my- a pain in my side! [''talking over Mary''] You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Mary:''' What are you- Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' [''again talking over Mary''] You shut up!
 '''Mary:''' I'm sorry, who am I speaking to?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 '''Mary:''' Um, who?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 '''Mary:''' Well, I'll track the number, what do you need-
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I invite you to come- I invite you to write this down.
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 [''Mary hangs up'']

==== Transcript (Michael) ====
'''Madeleine:''' The Game Place, this is Madeleine. How can I help you?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Madeleine:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Madeleine:''' This is Madeleine.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, well I've mis- I've misunderstan- okay, well I've- I've misun-
 '''Madeleine:''' Can I help you with something?
 [''pause, faint whispering in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' We have miscommunication.
 [''unintelligable; Chris and Madeleine talk at the same time'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uhh, who is this?
 '''Michael:''' Christian.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch! [''talking over Michael'']
 '''Michael:''' You wanna talk to me, you need to ''talk'' to me.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?
 '''Michael:''' Yeah, so?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You can find me right now, I live at 14 Branchland Court in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Michael:''' I don't know who this is, but, uh, it's a waste of everbody's time.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Oh, come on!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You shut up!
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 [''silence; Michael talks faintly in the background'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''silence'']
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Pussy.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Michael:''' The Game Place, this is Mike. How may I help you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get yo black ass down a gutter and stay there.
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' How about you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head?
 [''pause'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''call ends'']

== Bob calls Cole Smithey ==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob prank calls Christian's half brother, [[Cole Smithey]], but with little success...

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|rq06pBhkz7A}}
</center>

==== Transcript ====
'''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole-
 '''Cole:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.
 '''Cole:''' Who is this?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Cole:''' Hahahahahahaha.
 [''water drip sound, Cole hangs up'']
 [''Redial'']
 '''Answering machine:''' Hi, you've reached Cole at [''"*Bleeped out number*" is displayed on the screen, accompanied by Chris screaming'']. Please leave your telephone number twice(?), along with your message. Thanks. [''beep'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I'm Robert Chandler. Why don't you quit dialin' my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 [''water drip sound, troll hangs up'']
 [''tape runs out'']

==Chris calls Golden Corral==
The same troll from the above call utilizes his soundboard once again to prank Charlotteville's local Golden Corral. Lulz ensue when he engages in a verbal conflict with the resturant [[Manajerk|Manager]].

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|hmvnWFxBu88}}
</center>

==Phone Harassment==
A troll using a soundboard of Bob harasses several people over the phone. Lulz ensues.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|dkPTB461mLo}}
</center>

[[Category:Phone calls]]

The Wallflower

2010-04-20T11:44:20Z

MaesterTonberry: /* See Also */

[[File:Aliteralallflower.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower doing what she does best.]]

"'''The Wallflower'''" aka '''Damian Antaria''' is the heir to [[Megan Schroeder]], a female friend [[Chris]] met some time around early [[2010]]. She is one of the few girls Chris has managed to associate with in his post-high-school years who is not (as far as can be seen) a direct result of [[trolling]]. In [[March 2010]], she joined the long list of would-be [[sweetheart]]s with whom Chris has failed to lose his hated virginity.

Whether or not the Megan-esque ending of their relationship is actually to blame on the trolls or is a direct result of Chris being himself is unknown. There is evidence that the Wallflower has been made aware of the [[CWCki]], but given Chris's past record of making an absolute tit of himself in every way imaginable, it is not unrealistic to consider that Chris himself scared the Wallflower away with his pungent aroma of [[Chris and health#Hygiene|sweat]], [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]], and [[AXE]]. Nevertheless, Chris has taken it upon himself to blame those god damn trolls for destroying yet another chance at getting some [[china]].

==References by Chris==
Exactly when Chris first met her is not clear, though it is suspected that [[Rocky]] may have had something to do with it. While he jumped at the chance to advertise his involvement with some of his other women friends to the world, he initially made only oblique, passing references to this one. (Also, less information was forthcoming about this particular sweetheart than some because unlike, say, [[PandaHalo]], she wasn't actively leaking every detail of her communications with Chris to fellow trolls.)
[[File:ClydeandLovelyweather.jpg|thumb|The Wallflower on her [[third date]] with [[Clyde Cash]].]]
The first signs of Chris's involvement with the Wallflower showed up in late January 2010. In [[Mailbag 46]], answered on 26 January, Chris claimed to have joined a "Young Adult Social Group" and "met a lovely woman there who likes me too; we are hitting it off like two hip wallflowers." This makes it likely that she also has da autism, as there are many social groups in place for people with autism who do not have social lives otherwise. Around the same time, in [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]] (which took place on 30 January), Chris said he was expecting a phone call that may have been from her.

In the 14 February 2010 edition of the [[CWC Blog]], Chris declared that "currently, my girl friend and I are getting along great; the relationship is progressing. I only ask for y'all to leave me with my relationship, and not make me feel intruded by inquiring constantly." When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 56]] challenged Chris to prove the existence of his new "girl friend," Chris replied "She does exist, and I do not appreciate your tone at all."

It's not clear how far the relationship actually "progressed," however. Chris, we can be certain, had designs on a physical relationship with her from the start. He has no truck with the notion of "[[Friend zone|just friends]]." The Wallflower may have felt otherwise, which could explain Chris's angry remarks on the subject of the "friend zone" in the [[Common Questions#15_January_2010|15 January 2010]] edition of the Mailbag. His [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!|abject plea to her]] from 14 March supports this supposition — in that video, Chris says that while they were acquainted, she told him she wasn't interested in a boyfriend. However, he implied that she was now thinking of dating some other guy, making it quite likely that she used "not interested in a boyfriend" as a polite way of turning Chris down. It's far more polite than "Fuck no, you disgusting freak."

Even with all evidence to the contrary, in his [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|C-Ya Later video]], he unabashedly [[Chris and Reality|refers to her as his]] [[Boyfriend-free girl|"girlfriend"]], despite outright stating earlier that she had refused all his advances.

==Breakup?==
{{quote|Got-Dang Asexual Woman!|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] page on The Wallflower}}
[[File:The link.jpg|thumb|How to troll both Chris and his trolls in one simple step.]]
When it was found out that Chris had a possibly non-troll gal-pal, most of the trolls agreed that the best course of action was to let the events play out on their own and have her find out herself what a [[Chris and Race|racist]], [[Sex|sexist]], [[Homos|homophobic]], [[Monthly Tugboat|lazy]], [[Health|unhygienic]], [[Ego|narcissistic]], [[Hypocrisy|hypocritical]], [[naive]], and overall [[The Creepy Stare|creepy]] manchild Chris was. Despite this, one troll decided to fuck it all up and link her to the CWCki.

On 10 March 2010, Chris released [[A message to the Trolls]]. Emotionally distraught, he speaks in vague terms about troll interference in his life, and of the pains of a broken heart. At the same time, in a [[Cwc_blog|Captain's Log]] entry on the CWCipedia, Chris mentioned "BREAK-UPS FROM BEING EVEN SIMPLY FRIENDS WITH ME", which presumably refers to her cutting off all contact with him.

In the wee hours of 11 March 2010, Chris released [[Don't Mess With Me|a second video]], mentioning a theoretical meeting between him and an imaginary [[Clyde Cash]]. He beats the shit out of himself and the air, pulls out a tiny little [[pocket knife]] and cuts the throat of his invisible enemy, making it seem as if he blames the loss of the Wallflower or some other troubles on his old nemesis Clyde.

On 14 March 2010, Chris uploaded a new video and appeared to shift the blame to another troll, [[Surfshack Tito]]. In between delivering [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|bizarre threats of violence]], Chris makes a resolution to "regain the love and trust and friendship" of his gal-pal. It is not clear why Chris believes he can accomplish this goal by donning a kilt, waving around a small knife, putting on a grotesque attempt at a Scottish accent, and generally presenting a hideous affront to the culture and people of an entire nation.

Later that same day, Chris made [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|another video]] (in a different shirt, suggesting he woke up in the early afternoon) where he again referred to The Wallflower by her pen name, and literally begged her to sleep with him because his life was so hard, and otherwise he would have to pay $100 for sex with a hooker. The fact that at no point did he say anything along the lines of "Ignore the trolls" suggests that, ultimately, Wallflower finding out about the CWCki was not why she broke contact with him. Especially so when you consider that the video was about him singing about how he hates her boyfriend despite knowing nothing about him.

In the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], Chris is mocked by Tito claiming to have had sex with the Wallflower. While Chris was initially incredulous, in a [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|later video]] he expressed outrage at Tito for "taking her from [him]", implying that he believes that the Wallflower is involved with Tito in some capacity.

==Anonymity==
Originally, this article intruded into parts of the Wallflower's life that had nothing to do with Chris, prompting her to request that the article be reworked to refer to her under a pseudonym and avoid direct references to her personal life and identity. The CWCki's administrators reasonably agreed.

Chris is convinced that this change took place because of the angry threats he made in his video of 10 March 2010, when in fact it had nothing to do with him. The changes to this page led him to believe that he could insist on sweeping edits to many other pages, which he listed in the 14 March 2010 Captain's Log update on the CWCipedia. Those demands were ignored.

Despite his (for once successful) attempts at having her docs removed from the internet, Chris continually drops her first name and pen-name in his videos, including [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|one]] which [[Fail|has it in the title]].

Chris has also uploaded [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|a list of his former gal-pals and sweethearts]] on the Cwcipedia which includes both her middle and last names. Chris goes on to blame the existence of her Facebook page for the leak of her identity and the end of their budding relationship. He says he "learned from [his] mistakes there", but people with working mental faculties are, however, puzzled by the fact that even after that alleged introspection, he's continuing to release all of this information. On 19 [[April 2010]], in an attempt to keep her anonymous, Chris added a [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|FULL PAGE]] about her to the CWCipedia. The said page is filled with megalomania, fantasies and death threats with Chris as a hero.

==See Also==
*[[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)]]

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6CczCBplA Tribute]
{{CWCipedia|chris=Damien_Anteria|linkname=Damien Antaria}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Wallflower}}
{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}

The Wallflower (CWCpedia Page)

2010-04-20T11:38:13Z

MaesterTonberry: Redirected page to Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)

#REDIRECT [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia page)]]

Asperchu

2010-04-19T23:04:42Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:Asperchu-and-sonichu-meet.jpg|thumb|The first drawing Alec sent Chris.]]
''This article discusses the award winning comic series '''Asperchu''' and its relationship with Chris. For information about the Asperchu series itself, please see [[Fan:Asperchu]].''

'''Asperchu''' is a popular award-winning comic series created by Alec Benson Leary. His deft artwork, gripping stories, and excellent characterization has resulted in the series gaining hundreds of fans in the few short months since its inception. Many of these fans were discontented followers of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]], which have recently become exponentially more disturbing.

==Similarities to Chris==
While Alec has stated that [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|Asperchu is not a Parody]] of [[Chris]], there are many similarities between the two. Both of them are [[Obesity|overweight]], [[Pedo-Glasses|bespectacled]], [[naïve]] individuals who find themselves somewhat out of place in the world. They both address the masses through [[List of Videos|youtube videos]], and both are preoccupied with finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]] to make into a [[sweetheart]].

These similarities between the two characters has resulted in no shortage of [[Chris and Anger|rage]] from Chris. He seems to feel that the only reason Asperchu exists is to poke fun at him. He also takes serious offense at the idea of a Sonichu who suffers from [[Aspergers]], for some reason.

==Chris on Asperchu==

{{quote|''Die'', you son of a bitch! Alec... '''Die'''.|[[Chris]] on Asperchu - [[Down With Asperchu]]}}

[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|The second drawing Alec sent Chris.]]

It's no secret that Chris hates [[Aspergers]] (and presumably everybody that suffers from it), due to some misguided sense of competition between Aspergers syndrome and other disorders on the [[autism]] spectrum. The knowledge that someone had created a series about an Electric Hedgehog Pokemon who suffered from the affliction did not sit well with him. He became even worse when the creator of the series himself started sending him e-mails.

The [[Mailbag 10#Meet Asperchu|first recorded communication]] we have between Alec and Chris implies that Alec had been in contact with him multiple times outside of the public view and that Chris had responded to these communications negatively. Chris didn't respond any better on his public mailbag, claiming that Alec was jealous of him and alleging that the included fanart of Asperchu and Sonichu implied homosexuality.

Upset that Chris would jump to such conclusions, Alec [[Mailbag 17#Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo|sent him another letter]], depicting Sonichu and Asperchu having good, masculine straight fun. This letter was even more poorly received.

Undaunted, Alec continued to send letters to Chris's mailbag, thinking that perhaps the man he respected so much really just misunderstood him. A few of these letters were [[Mailbag 19#A very Asperchu Christmas|ignored]], some were [[Mailbag 28#Hey kids, it's Asperchu!|coldly dismissed]], but Chris's most [[Mailbag 31#Asperchu is the shit|notable]] [[Mailbag 32#Parodies|responses]] were were explosive outbursts of [[Chris and Anger|anger]] and hatred. Eventually, Chris began [[Mailbag 35#No comment|refusing to respond]] to Alec's correspondence, or [[Mailbag 34#Asperpedia!|deleting his messages outright]].

In Asperchu Issue C (or 0C), Chris made an appearance asking for help from the characters to save Asperchu. Later, he and [[Liquid Chris|CChanSonichuCWC]] met up with each other, leading to a standoff where Chris tried to shoot him. Chris [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|responded]] to the comic, mentioning that he was set on fire in the comic. He didn't seem to notice that he was also called by the name [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], nor did he notice the appearance of Liquid Chris.

Since the Asperchu saga started really taking off, Chris's schedule for [[Sonichu (comic)|his own comic]] has [[stress|dropped drastically]].

Beyond this, Chris made clear that he also hates the comic because of its "uncensored pictures" and "low resolution and blocky pictures". Here, we see Chris's [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocrisy]] in action. The "uncensored pictures" he's all up in arms over are just minor posters hung up mostly in Asperchu's room and even so, they are mostly hidden away by the character's heads. Chris's "uncensored pictures" are done by the main characters in full view, despite the fact that Sonichu is supposed to be a ''kids' comic''. As for the "low resolution and blocky pictures", the artwork is done through an art program (presumably Photoshop, if one of Alec's correspondences to Chris is correct), thus it does seem a bit blocky. Of course, compared to Chris's [[Chris and Art|art]], it's the fucking Mona Lisa. It also helps that Alec is humble and doesn't try to act like his artwork is amazing and worthy of being hung in a museum.

==Asperpedia==
[[Image:Mao Bamboo Ling.JPG||thumb|Mao, rockin' sunglasses]]
[[Image:Haitihelp.JPG|thumb|Clearly Asperchu is pure evil.]]
After finishing the first three issues of his comic, Alec Benson Leary set up his own Mediawiki website where one could read all existing comics, as well as a number of articles about the world of Asperchu, and read fan mail answered by Mr. Leary. Soon afterward, portals were added to the site for other notable comics, such as [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]], and [[Fan:Sonichu is Dead|Sonichu is Dead]] creator Sean August Watley's latest project, [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]]. In [[February 2010]], more comics were added, including Alec's Sonichu Revolution, Sean's Sonichu is Dead and Sonichu is Gay, and Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]].

[[Jack Thaddeus]], recognizing the incredible profit potential of Asperchu, immediately began advertising the new website on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris responded to these new ads, and his newfound knowledge of Alec's website with a series of increasingly disturbing videos<ref>[[Down with Asperchu]], [[12 January 2010]], [[14 January 2010]], [[15 January 2010]] and [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]</ref> where he made his opinions on the matter quite clear.

Alec, being a gentle soul has not directly responded to any of Chris's offensive videos. When [[Down with Asperchu#Alec's response to the video|asked by a concerned fan]], he outlined his planned course of action as one of peace, citing his personal hero, [[Wikipedia:Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi|Mahatma Gandhi]]. His webmaster, Mao "Bamboo" Ling has opted for a more direct approach, speaking to Chris directly in 2 short [[YouTube]] videos.

The large banner ad for Asperpedia was replaced by a link to information on the US government's efforts to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti, because Alec cares about the plight of his fellow man.

===The 19 January Demands===
On 19 January 2010, Chris uploaded 12 new pages of [[Sonichu 10]], which are centered mostly around Asperchu and the Asperpedia. [[Chris and his ego|Ever the heroic savior]], Chris pictures himself, along with [[Ultra Sonichu]], destroying the slanderous Asperpedia and saving Alec's characters from their [[Asperger syndrome|terrible affliction]], with Asperchu himself getting an ''EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER'' and becoming "[[Mitch Sonichu]]".

Not content with this, Chris then issued an ultimatum to Alec through a blog post:

{{Quote|Although within Alec's Hands, Asperchu IS a horrific joke, not only because of the uncensored nudity, wrongful character usage and all that, but also because the whole thing is drawn in a c***py Blocky and Low Resolution way.

I still have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR HIS Asperchu character Whatsoever, but I will forgive Alec for his error if he FOLLOWS from my new plot and Extreme Electric Makeover as a template. He is no longer "Asperchu", just call him Mitch Sonichu.|Chris's featured quote on 19 January 2010}}

Alec didn't listen to Chris's demands, instead keeping everyone there and just introducing Mitch Sonichu as simply "Mitch Chu", who appears to be a [[Homos|gay stylist]], as well as Whisp Sonichu as the character Whispy Sonichu, Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin.

==Apologies==

In [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|a video]] Chris has finally admitted that Asperchu is not a [[parody]] of himself or his original creation, Sonichu, and is instead a completely original character. He also apologizes for spreading lies about Alec, such as suggesting that he [[Mailbag 50|only responds to fanmail that puts him in a positive light]], and for the constant [[death threats]] against him. He also apologizes for trying to commandeer [[Evan]]'s [[Simonchu]] character (though tactfully avoids mentioning his blatant ripoff, [[Simonla]]).

However, Chris's real motivations quickly become obvious as he proceeds to beg Alec and Evan to help him take down the [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Advertisements|Cwcipedia ads]], which have becoming increasingly homoerotic and insulting to Chris.

A few days later, Chris made [[I am Alive|another video]] fully apologizing for his threats towards the four, decides to give up Simonla and delivers a half-assed Forgiveness Blessing to Mao, hopefully to finally remove the ads (which also included a [[parody]] of [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] involving him and [[Snorlax|his mom]] and an obituary for Chris.)

On 25 February 2010, Chris released the last pages of [[Sonichu 10]], in which he does kill Simonla... but turns around and ''kills'' the "Asperchu Four". It remains to be seen as to what happens.

==Phone calls==
{{main|Alec Benson Leary calls}}

{{quote|Encourage the fans that were originally my fans to come back to me.|Chris}}

On 9 February 2010 Mao sent Evan and Sean a series of seven phone conversations between Alec Benson Leary and Chris. While these conversations were meant to stay between the [[Asperpedia]] staff, they were eventually leaked by Mao for the world to hear. An [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth]] and [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|ninth]] phone call between Chris and Alec followed on 18 February and 25 February, respectively.

==Trial and execution of Asperpedia staff (in ''Sonichu'')==

{{Quote|We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.|Chris, ''[[Sonichu 10]]''}}

Despite Alec attempting to help Chris out several times during the phonecalls, Chris would involve Alec, along with Mao, Sean and Evan, in the penultimate pages of ''[[Sonichu 10]]''. They are portrayed as stupid, murderous characters, who are tried by Cwcville's Court for the murder of Simonla, as well as the theft and mockery of several citizens of Cwcville. After a rather one-sided trial (in Cwcville's favor, of course), Alec and co. are sentenced to death, Alec specifically in a "ten-button Electric chair". He is electrocuted to death by various characters that were "misrepresented" in ''Asperchu'', including Sonichu, who states that he is [[Homos|"not gay"]] as he jointly ends Alec's life. Chris himself also joins in on the fun, and ironically states that Alec is a "d*** lunatic", after which he helps fry him to a crisp and breaks all of Mao's bones using telekinesis. Evan is horribly mutilated by [[Sandy Rosechu]] whilst chained to a wall, and [[Moon-Pals|Sean]] is used as target practice by Bill the Scientist, Kel and Allison.

During this brutality, Chris also [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|apologizes]] for some of his own wrongdoings towards the Asperchu Four, as well as his fans.

==Sonichu Revolution==

When the CWCipedia was taken down during the [[Simonchu]] dispute, it appeared Chris was not going to budge and would [[9_February_2010|possibly set up shop elsewhere]]. Considering Chris's laziness, how long that would take was anyone's guess. The possibility that no new comics would appear for days, weeks, or even months was likely, and this didn't take into account how often Chris's new digs would get hacked. Fortunately Alec, being the nice guy that he is, decided Sonichu fans should not be deprived of the promised reboot. He took it upon himself to not only deliver fans new pages through Chris's site, but to also take care of the looming copyright issues that Chris had been unwilling to tackle. All while still uploading new Asperchu comics.

Chris, of course, took this in entirely the wrong way. In the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|eighth phone call]], he accused Alec of stealing his work and attempting to impersonate him. Also, while he expressed offense at the violence of some of the Sonichu Revolution strips, he showed no signs of grasping the way Alec's comic mocks the unoriginality, moral hypocrisy, sexual degeneracy, and generally warped outlook of Chris's original Sonichu stories.

===Sonichu Revolution Gallery===

<center>
<gallery>
Image:Sonichurevolution01.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution02.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution03.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution4.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution05.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution06.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution07.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution08.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution9.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution10.jpg
Image:SonichuRevolution11.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution12.jpg
Image:Sonichurevolution13.jpg
</gallery>

</center>

==CWCipedia advertisements==

[[File:Asperchuissue5ad.jpg|thumb|200px|The ad in question.]]

Shortly after 110MB returned from what may be its billionth outage, a large Asperchu ad appeared at the top of every article, depicting [[Sonichu]] shooting <s>Chris</s> Ian in the calves ([[Sonichu Special 4|sound familiar?]]) while calling him a "[[Honest Content|fat little son of a bitch]]". Chris claimed that he won't let the ad get to him, but as anyone who has heard a lulzcow claim this before knows, this implies that he could possibly be one good push away from an explosion. Either that, or he failed to grasp this ad like the [[ShecameforCWC.jpg]] ad parody.

[[File:AsperchuMarkDeux.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The (other) ad in question.]]

Eventually, the ad was taken down, although it was quickly replaced with another, smaller one featuring a callback to the scene of Evan's cold-blooded torture from [[Sonichu 10]]. Chris has yet to respond to this, most likely because he's too busy [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|bitching about being not being unbanned from The GAMe PLACe]].

Yet another ad was put up a few days later, this time depicting Sonichu killing Ian Brandon Anderson once and for all. It's tagline was, "The truth behind Sonichu and his creator. The sad truth."

==Footnotes==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Fan:Asperchu]]: More about the comic itself
*[[Fan:Index]]: Other Sonichu-inspired works of art

==External links==
*[http://hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]: Asperchu's very own Wiki
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Asperchu Asperpedia's YouTube channel]

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9

2010-04-18T19:29:30Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9''' is the ninth call between Chris and Alec, which took place 25th February 2010.

==Summary==
The call begins with [[Alec]] asking [[Chris]] how his birthday was and then asking about his reasoning behind the recent disturbing developments in [[Sonichu 10]]. Alec points out some notable [[hypocrisy]] in regards to Chris's use of [[Chris and anger|violence]] in issue 10, given that Chris has criticized the [[Asperchu]] and Sonichu Revolution comics for using a lot of violence. Alec goes on to call out Chris for trying to weasel out of the conditions he had agreed to in earlier phone calls and telling him off for not listening to him...again.

Chris defends his actions with the always amazing excuse that "he was still filled with anger," which, you know, totally makes everything O.K. Alec also points out that "apologizing" is not quite equal to "violently murdering the people you wronged in your shitty comic." The two argue about the issue of [[Simonla]], and the fact that Chris didn't exactly kill her in the manner promised AND introduced the character "Sandy", Simonla's daughter, defeating the entire purpose of eliminating Simonla. They discuss [[copyright]] and Chris's misunderstanding of the concept, in addition to Chris's massive [[ego]].

Chris-chan's Love Day is brought up. Chris denies ripping off ''Independence Day'' and claims that trying to make his own birthday a national holiday isn't completely unreasonable in any way, shape or form. Chris states that the Mexican Flag Day (which is coincidentally the same day as his birthday) "could be better," which implies that it "could be better" by celebrating his birthday on a national level AND he says that there should be a second day in addition to Valentine's Day to celebrate love and his birthday "just feels right." When Alec mentions that he's definitely creating a dumb ass cover-up for wanting his own birthday to be a holiday, Chris dances around the question like a drunken retard ([[Alcohol|how fitting]]).

Chris also admits he likes it when people kiss his ass, which has been [[Ego|kind of obvious]] for a long time. He then proves he knows nothing of Christianity ([[Religion|also obvious]]). Chris also admits he believes Simonla has always been his and tries to explain why it's not O.K. to [[parody]] a parody (it's as retarded as it sounds). In addition, Alec catches Chris in another [[lie]] about how many pages he had done. Chris blames the [[trolls]].

The call appears to end with Chris hanging up mid-sentence.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9 Part 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|_Ae7T05cIJQ}}
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
| next = Current
}} </center>

===Transcript===
 '''Alec: '''Hey Chris, it's Alec.

 '''Chris:''' Oh. Hi, Alec.I was not...

 '''Alec: '''Hey, Happy birthday!

 '''Chris:''' [''Annoyed''] I wasn't- okay, well I was not expecting you.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah, yeah.

 '''Chris:''' So, thank you.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Yeah, how was, how was your birthday today?

 '''Chris:''' My birthday was yesterday, and it was, it was, it was good.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, oh, it was, it was yesterday?

 '''Chris:''' I spent it with my family. Yeah.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Well, yeah, I saw the pages you got uploaded today. Um, yeah... Uh... What's up with that trial, Chris? That was kinda like, that was kind of, uh, out of left field. That was... I didn't expect that at all.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you drew, you drew, you, uh, drew me, you drew, you drew me in a set-, in a setup of, uh, the, of uh, being beared false witness from uh, from your, from your parody of my Sonichu. In, uh, comparison of uh, that, of the [[Liquid Chris|other Chris]] being the real one and not me, which I was the real deal. And then you set me on fire. And then recently, you per-, you portrayed me getting my head getting chopped off with a sawblade! With gory detail!

 '''Alec: '''Chris, you didn't read that, that last page. Did you read the, um, the page? 'Cause, what happened there was, um, that was a picture of the real you in the comic, and I said, you know, like your head got chopped off but then you came right back and said "No, it's okay, we're just faking". I didn't, your head didn't actually get chopped off.

 '''Chris:''' Hmm.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah.

 '''Chris:''' Okay, it could maybe have more obvious.

 '''Alec: '''Well, if you read the text it would have been obvious. You know.

 '''Chris:''' Hmm.

 '''Alec: '''It, there was a lot, there was text there, I mean, I spelled it out I specifically had you say "Don't worry, this is fake!", you know, "My head's not really chopped off. I'm fine." You know, um, you accuse me of using, er, well, not accused, of using violence, I do use violence, that's true. But I was just kind of, uh... It seems kind of weird that your comic has suddenly taken a ''very'' gory turn. I mean, like...

 '''Chris:''' [''Interrupting''] It's just, it's just, it's just [[Sonichu Special 4|one time]].

 '''Alec: '''But you said violence is wrong, though. One time's...

 '''Chris:''' [''Interrupting again''] But I... Yeah, well, you, you, you did violence unto me, I was just returning the favor.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, revenge is okay, though? Chris, you said violence is wrong. You didn't say it's okay in the case of revenge. [''long pause''] And, I'm kinda, I'm kinda curious, why is this trial taking place? Like, why are Alec and Mao and me, er, Alec and Mao and uh, Evan and Sean, uh, why are we on trial?

 '''Chris:''' [''takes a smug tone''] Okay, let me see. The, uh, copy-, copycat, the whole bunch of copy-, copycat of practically everything from my, nearly everything from my books. Set me on fire, chopping my head off, false witness, and uh, oh yeah, how about wanting to kill Simonla Rosechu?

 '''Alec: '''Um... Do you remember all the times we talked about Simonla? Where I explained to you that I wanted you to kill her because she's not your character, and Evan wanted her gone from your comic?

 '''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Alec: '''Chris, you told me, you swore up and down to me that, that you understood the point I was trying to get across to you and that you understood what I...

 '''Chris:''' [''Interrupting yet again''] Yeah I did, yeah I did understand that. Yeah I-

 '''Alec: '''[''Shutting Chris down''] Well, no! You're lying to me, Chris. You obviously didn't.

 '''Chris:''' No, I did, I did...-

 '''Alec: '''[''Refusing to put up with Chris's bullshit excuses''] God Chris, I can't believe, I cannot believe you did this Chris. You, you know I thought that you were just, you know, kinda going "Yeah, uh-huh" just mouthing along and pretending to understand and saying what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone. And you know, I said that to you. I asked you, "Are you doing that?" And you said "No," you said no. You, you promised you understood, you would comply, you believed what I was saying. But then this trial comes along and what you're telling me right now is apparently my words went in one ear and out the other with you. And you think that, that me and Evan did something wrong to you. You think that you have done nothing wrong? Do you seriously believe that we are, you know, antagonists and that you are just a saint here?

 '''Chris:''' Hmmm. Let me think about that a moment. To ask my question best.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, well, while you're thinking about it, remember: Don't tell me the answer that you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe. That's the answer that I actually want to hear, is what you really believe.

[''Tense pause. Chris is watching South Park in the background.'']

 '''Alec: '''You know, I'm looking at... Uh, the page here where you had like 10 people simultaneously electrocute me. Sonichu says [''wimpy voice''] "Oh I'm not gay!"

[''Chris attempts to respond, Alec drowns him out.'']

 '''Alec: '''Chris, how many times, how many times did I tell... Okay, another thing, apparently, you didn't listen to. How many times did I tell you that I never portrayed Sonichu as gay? I explained clearly to you. Because you thought that he and Asperchu are gay, and I explained to you, "No, they're just, they were just hugging because they're friends, they're close friends." And I thought that you understood that, but... Go ahead.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but like it'd be, but the portrayal could be misconstr-, construed, especially with the, uh, all the pink, all the pink-hearted drawings that you did...

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you did misconstrue it.

 '''Chris:''' And the one, and the one where they were, the one where they were lying next to each other, in a bed situation...

 '''Alec: '''Okay, okay, you did misconstrue it. That's true. And then you brought that up to me, and then I explained to you what it really meant. And now you apparently ignored that and just, you say, Sonichu says, "eeewww, you're portraying me as gay." I'm not portraying Sonichu as gay. I've never done that. The only gay characters in my comic are Wild and Simonchu... Well, Simonchu's bisexual. And, uh, I think that's it right now, actually. Well, Mitch, Mitch is gay in my comic. Although I haven't shown him having a lover yet. You know, none of my fans misunderstood that.

 '''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Alec: '''I mean, not that it really matters, because the point is that you misunderstood it, you brought it up to me, and I explained it to you. I don't care that you misunderstood something, what I care about is that you apparently didn't even listen when I explained it to you. Because anybody can misunderstand something, but you brought it up to me, I explained it to you, and you made it sound like you did understand. But apparently you didn't.

 '''Chris:''' Actually, I did understand, but I still had the anger and rage, I still had the anger against you. And I wanted to bear, I wanted to...

 '''Alec: '''No! No. Why? Why would you have anger against me? If I explained...

 '''Chris:''' One, uh, one big reason is continuing the adverts, continuing the blasphemous advertisements on my CWCipedia against me. Those are like...

 '''Alec: '''[''shouting over Chris''] Oh, really? Hey, hey, hey, do you remember when I explained to you...

 '''Chris:''' Especially, especially the ones declaring my birthday as Asperchu Day...

 '''Alec: '''HEY! Chris. Chris! Do you remember when I explained to you last time that my ads are staying up there because you completely insulted me, and didn't respect what I wanted you to do in the apology video? But what you're saying me now is, you think that the ads are an attack on you. You're just completely forgetting what I told you before. Or maybe you're not forgetting it, maybe you're just choosing to disregard it. They were a direct consequence of your actions. You had the power to get rid of the ads and you did nothing. So how can you be mad at me for having the ads up? [''pause''] When I gave you several ways out, and you didn't take them?

 '''Chris:''' Well, at least I, at least I, when, at least I went by your request and put, and hand-wrote all the apologies and everything, and killed Simonla.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, oh no. [[Sonichu 10#Forgiveness...?|You said that me and Mao and Sean and Evan killed Simonla]]. That's what your comic says. Apparently you didn't fulfill that part of the requirement either. Because I wanted you to kill her, but you accused me of killing her. And then you killed us in your comic. What kind of apology is that? When... Okay, an apology is when you do something wrong, you acknowledge it, and you make reparations to whoever was wronged. An apology is not where, um, you attack the person that you owe an apology to.

 '''Chris:''' Hmm.

 '''Alec: '''It's like you said... It's like you handed me a bowl of ice cream, said, "Hey, here's some ice cream for you," but then just as I reached out for it, you threw it on the ground. That's kind of what it feels like. Chris, do you remember last time, I told you that you were the one who drew the Voltorb? You were the one who killed Simonla.

 '''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, well, requesting the death of one of my characters comes with a price.

 '''Alec: '''I'm sorry, what was that?

 '''Chris:''' And, and I had... I said request of the, request of the killing of one of my characters...

 '''Alec: '''NOT YOUR CHARACTER. Not, no, Simonla was not your character. She was Evan's.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah, but anyway, with all the writing, with all the writing...

 '''Alec: '''"Yeah, but anyway"?

 '''Chris:''' With all the, uh...

 '''Alec: '''You said, "Yeah, but anyway." Are you acknowledging that Simonla was not yours?

 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] I acknowledge that Simonla was not mine, but I did not...

 '''Alec: '''You just, but, two minutes ago you said...

 '''Chris:''' I did not care very much for all the anger and torments and that such abuse that I continued to get from Evan. Anger...

 '''Alec: '''What, what abuse did you get from him?

 '''Chris:''' Verbal, verbal abuse and...

 '''Alec: '''Like how?

 '''Chris:''' In the Mailbag.

 '''Alec: '''He sent you e-mails requesting you to stop using the character that was his.

 '''Chris:''' And then threatening me with, sick his lawyers on me...

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Because you were committing illegal acts against him.

 '''Chris:''' Anyway, the point is, Simonla is dead now.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah, well, no, the point is that, um, you apparently don't listen when I talk to you. That's my point. Right?

 '''Chris:''' Hm. Actually...

 '''Alec: '''Because you believe that you are in the right, and everyone else is in the wrong. And you... Is that your TV going in the background? Do you ever turn your TV off when you talk to people on the phone? That might be kinda...

 '''Chris:''' I do turn my... Well, actually, I do turn the TV off sometimes. [''takes a self-righteous tone''] Alright, I'll turn it off now.

 '''Alec: '''Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Okay.

 '''Chris:''' Okay.

 '''Alec: '''Alright. Thank you for that. Um, who is is [[Sandy]], by the way? Sandy, like Simonla's daughter?

 '''Chris:''' Wild and Simonla's daughter. Yes.

 '''Alec: '''How can Simonla have a daughter when she's not supposed to exist in your comic? You know, Evan might get pissed about Sandy existing.

 '''Chris:''' Well, the, well, still, Sandy did not originate from Simonchu.

 '''Alec: '''She kinda looks like, exactly like Simonla, but with, like, Lisa Simpson hair. She did originate from, she's like a clone of Simonla.

 '''Chris:''' Well, she is not a clone of Simonla, she is a Ground-type rosechu.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Isn't that what Simonla was? Do you even realize the point of getting rid of Simonla in the first place? It was because... Okay. Evan was mad about Simonla because Simonla was just a rip-off of Simonchu. And it looks like Sandy is a rip-off of Simonla, which by corollary makes her a rip-off of Simonchu as well.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I disagree with that.

 '''Alec: '''You can disagree all you want. Doesn't make it true. You can tell me the sky is orange as much as you want, it doesn't change the fact that the sky is blue. I mean, judges will agree with that one.

 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, actually, still, Sandy does have an origin that's definitely not, definitely not one that Simonla was from. Explained lately, it's based off of somebody's, some other character.

 '''Alec: '''She originates from Simonla.

 '''Chris:''' She actually, she actually was born as a rosey...

 '''Alec: '''From Simonla.

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh, long pause'']

 '''Alec: '''You know, this probably doesn't matter a whole lot, I bet you're never going to use Sandy again. I mean...

 '''Chris:''' Oh yes I will! Because, because we need a constructor, we need, we need the main constructor in the city of CWCville, and Simonla was that, so now Sandy has to be the one who fills in Simonla's shoes.

 '''Alec: '''Can't you just have, like, a construction crew? Like, you know, construction workers with vehicles? How can one person really do all the construction?

 '''Chris:''' Simonla, Simonla was head builder, she did have a crew. And when you take out the leader the whole crew falls.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, don't you think that crew... You know, I'm sure she had, like, a second-in-command, alright. Don't you think that her crew might feel kind of insulted that, um, you have, like, a person who is a week old just take control? Inheriting the crew. So you, you've got a construction crew that runs, like...

 '''Chris:''' No, she was, she's not, well, she's not, Sandy's not going to take the reins prematurely like that...

 '''Alec: '''You just said that...

 '''Chris:''' She's going through heavy training.

 '''Alec: '''Why? So she's child labor?

 '''Chris:''' No, not child labor.

 '''Alec: '''Well, she's like a week old, and you already had her assassinate people. I mean, that's...

 '''Chris:''' The point of that was that they were revenged against Evan for having, for even thinking of killing off Simonla.

 '''Alec: '''But you killed Simonla.

 '''Chris:''' Because I was forced, because I felt forced to by, between, by y'all.

 '''Alec: '''That's correct, we did force you to, because your refused to acknowledge that... Chris, what is copyright infringement? Give me your definition.

 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] Copyright infringement...

 '''Alec: '''Yes. I'd like to hear your definition.

 '''Chris:''' [''another pause''] The misuse...of a character that originally belonged to somebody else.

 '''Alec: '''Oh! Really.

 '''Chris:''' Without their consent.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, now, how does that connect to Simonla? You misused, you misused Simonla because she rightfully belonged to someone else.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, even still, even Sonichu was originally mine, and I have a copy-, I have the copyright registration forms to prove that.

 '''Alec: '''So? What does that have to do with Simonla? You stole... Don't change the subject, Chris. You stole Simonchu and screwed around with him. Two wrongs make a right, is that, is that the case?

 '''Chris:''' That is not the point I am trying to make.

 '''Alec: '''Well, then, why do you...

 '''Chris:''' That is fairly, that is fairly accurate though.

 '''Alec: '''When we're talking about Simonla, why do you bring up Sonichu's copyright? What does that have to do with it?

 '''Chris:''' Because you drew him, because you drew him in your pages without my consent, and then, and then made him look like, look like a homosexual. Or appear as such.

 '''Alec: '''Why does what I... Why does anything that I do have anything at all to do with how you treat Evan and his property? Why do you want to punish one person for, for a wrong that you perceive another unrelated person doing?

 '''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Alec: '''I am not Evan. Evan is not me. Chris, do you... Okay, this... Goddammit, Chris, this is just like, remember when you were complaining about how, you know, the trolls and ED attack you, and you used that as an excuse for why you treat me like shit? Why do you think it's okay to treat some random person like shit just because you've been treated badly, by other people that aren't related?

 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, now, to correct you, it is not, I did not do it on a random person, quote unquote, I actually had reasons to do it against you and your crew.

 '''Alec: '''I asked you why you stole something from Evan, which happened a long time ago, as I understand it, actually, well before I created Asperchu, and your response is that, you know, it's because of something I draw.

 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm just saying, that was...

 '''Alec: '''If I remember right...

 '''Chris:''' ...why I did, why I didn't care for what you did very much, and that was what you did there.

 '''Alec: '''Chris, when someone asks you a question, it's polite to respond with an answer that is relevant to the question. When I asked you why you think it's okay to steal Simonchu from Evan, please don't respond by going off on some unrelated tangent about how you don't like me.

 '''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Alec: '''Okay? Now, if I remember right, on that Simonchu article, before you doctored it to make it look different, it said that it was like in August of 2008 that you, quote unquote, created Simonla. That's a long time, that's over a year before I created Asperchu. I created Asperchu not even three months ago.

 '''Chris:''' Mm-kay. Hm.

 '''Alec: '''Okay? Okay what?

 '''Chris:''' Well, let me think about that a moment so I can properly answer the question about the, uh... The quote unquote character theft.

 '''Alec: '''You know what, I don't really want to go over whether you think stealing Simonchu is right or wrong or not, because we've done that before, and you, you know, I was fooled, I thought that I had gotten some kind of response out of you, which turned out to be a complete lie. Because you, to this day, still believe that Simonla is yours and everyone else is evil. I just want to know why, why you think that you're perfect, and that everyone else who has a disagreement with you is automatically wrong.

 '''Chris:''' Well, to correct you, I never thought that I was perfect! I am imperfect, for a few reasons...

 '''Alec: '''You still think that you're better than everyone else.

 '''Chris:''' And one of which is definitely the high-functioning autism.

 '''Alec: '''Well, what, what the hell does autism have to do with you being a bad person?

 '''Chris:''' No, I was just saying, that's one reason why I'm not perfect.

 '''Alec: '''So if not for autism, you think you would be perfect? Do you really think autism is your only flaw? I don't think...

 '''Chris:''' No, I have a lot of other flaws, I know that.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah, I don't think autism... Of all of your flaws, I don't think autism...

 '''Chris:''' But I'm just saying, I'm just saying that's, I'm just saying that is one of my flaws that makes me not perfect. I am not perfect, I never said that. I have never said that I was perfect.

 '''Alec: '''You imply it by suggesting that Evan and I are evil people who, who made you kill Simonla, because she was yours! Gah, okay, now I'm really pissed off, Chris. I'm mad at you. Because, why... How many years have you been pissing and moaning at people about your copyrights, your precious Sonichu copyrights? But you don't give a shit about Evan's copyright, or my copyright, or anyone else. You just take whatever you want, and you act like you're in the right by doing so. Why do you do that?

 '''Chris:''' Hm. [''mumbles''] Why do I do that... [''long pause''] Hm. Mm. Hm.

 '''Alec: '''You have no response, do you?

 '''Chris:''' I'm thinking! Can I think? Sometimes my mind's a little slow.

 '''Alec: '''You've had, like, how many years of worrying about copyright?

 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''I would think you would be a master of copyright law by now, considering how important it is to you. I would think you would know copyright laws backward and forward.

 '''Chris:''' I am not as knowledgeable as a copyright lawyer.

 '''Alec: '''Chris, um... Let's change the subject a little bit. What's up with that, your Christian Love Day video?

 '''Chris:''' Because, because it was my birthday, I was just making a stand against the trolls. And the internet bullies.

 '''Alec: '''What stand?

 '''Chris:''' That I'm not gonna be let-, that I'm not going to be thrust down by the likes of which... And I'm going to continue on.

 '''Alec: '''You... You kinda just... I recognized that speech you used, you just took that from ''Independence Day''.

 '''Chris:''' What?

 '''Alec: '''You took that speech from...

 '''Chris:''' I did not take...

 '''Alec: '''Chris, that speech, that "We will not go down without a fight" speech, that was... That was lifted directly from, uh, ''Independence Day''. Remember that movie?

 '''Chris:''' Well... I remember that movie, I saw it only once, and I did not know that those, that those lines came from that, that speech was actually written by a friend of mine.

 '''Alec: '''So you can't even write your own speech?

 '''Chris:''' I can write my own speech! But he, I let my friend do it for me.

 '''Alec: '''Well, why do you think that your birthday should be a holiday in the first place?

 '''Chris:''' Well, it, well, once, when it is a, it is a holiday in Mexico. They should be equally important holidays in America.

 '''Alec: '''It's, okay, it's Mexican Flag Day. In Mexico. Mexico has, I dunno, what, like 40 million citizens, something like that? So, are you really saying that Mexican Flag Day is no more important than your birthday? Should 40 million Americans, or more, be celebrating your birthday?

 '''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I am not saying that.

 '''Alec: '''You said that your birthday should be of equal importance to Mexican Flag Day.

 '''Chris:''' I'm just saying...

 '''Alec: '''Well, I was wrong, I just, I just looked it up, Mexico is actually like 110 million people. I was way off. Okay, so, your birthday is more important than 110 million Mexicans.

 '''Chris:''' I never said that. And I never said that anybody should celebrate my birthday on that day.

 '''Alec: '''Chris, um, your first response when I asked you, like 90 seconds ago, I asked you, "Why should your birthday be a holiday?" And you said, "Well, it's a holiday in Mexico, therefore it should be of equal importance in America." That is exactly what you said.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Alec: '''And it's what you're thinking. You think that, you think that Mexican Flag day is just, not even good enough, right?

 '''Chris:''' Well, it can be better.

 '''Alec: '''It can be better?! It's a day for 110 million Mexicans to celebrate the freedom of their country!

 '''Chris:''' And that, and that celebration could be, celeb-, could be accepted in America.

 '''Alec: '''Well, why? Why would Americans celebrate Mexico's history? Americans have the fourth of July, that's when we celebrate our history. We have Flag Day too, like June 16 I think?

 '''Chris:''' That's about, uh, I think that's about right.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. So we already have a Flag Day.

 '''Chris:''' But still, I mean, we have these, we have the, the Messicans in America.

 '''Alec: '''And I'm sure they can celebrate Flag Day.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah. So, we should accept that and, and maybe celebrate as well in like a congratulatory way for them.

 '''Alec: '''Well, then why wasn't your video, um, about Mexican Flag Day, instead of this made-up Christian Love Day?

 '''Chris:''' My idea behind Christian Love Day is, like, the possibility of a second Valentine's Day.

 '''Alec: '''It's like 10 days after the real Valentine's Day. Why would we need another Valentine's so soon?

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] It's like we need more, it's like we need more reminders to love and care about each other.

 '''Alec: '''Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, sponsored by corporations to sell shitty gift cards and disgusting fake sugar candies. It's not about love. It's just a stupid corporate holiday. If you want, if you want to really celebrate love, you can do it at any time. You don't need a holiday.

 '''Chris:''' It's to help us, help remind us to do so constant-, on a more constant basis.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, so why your birthday? Why your birthday, of all the days in the year, why would you choose your birthday for this particular holiday? Unless it was about celebrating yourself.

 '''Chris:''' Because it feels right.

 '''Alec: '''What do you mean, "it feels right"?

 '''Chris:''' It feels like a good dr-, a good day to celebrate something.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah. Like Mexican Flag Day.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Alec: '''Chris, Chris, just admit that you just want... You really think that you're so important, that you're so saintly and perfect, that you think your birthday should be a holiday. Just admit that to me.

 '''Chris:''' Well, I am not saintly or perfect.

 '''Alec: '''But you think that you're such an important person that your birthday should be a holiday. Admit it. It's about your ego.

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I partially agree with you on that, but it's actually a lot more than just quote unquote ego.

 '''Alec: '''What, what more could it be?

 '''Chris:''' I am not sure right now because I cannot come up with the right, with the right ans-, with appropriate answer for that.

 '''Alec: '''Well then, well then you shouldn't be trying to create a holiday... Chris, you shouldn't really be trying to do anything until after you've come up with a logical reason to do it.

 '''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay well...

 '''Alec: '''Countless times, countless times I've asked you why you do things, and you fall back on, "I'm not sure, it felt right." Or you use your emotions as an excuse, like when you brutally murdered me and Evan and Mao and Sean in your, in your sham mock trial. You know, [''mocking voice''] "because you were still angry about the ads!" Let's go back to that...

 '''Chris:''' And another thing...

 '''Alec: '''What, what other thing?

 '''Chris:''' What, how you portray me and my, and my electric hedgehogs, even in a parodic way, as a, as a, as definitely mentally retarded for one characteristic.

 '''Alec: '''[''talking over Chris''] Chris, how many times have you...

 '''Chris:''' And then brutally killing, killing us off like you did...

 '''Alec: '''You brutally killed me.

 '''Chris:''' And then, and selling, and sexually expliciting us like that.

 '''Alec: '''Sexually ex-

 '''Chris:''' Where you said all that first.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, so that makes it okay for you to do anything? Chris, how many times... Okay, okay, you accuse me of making a parody, and I can't even begin to count the number of times I told you Asperchu's not a parody, but you accuse me of making a parody like it's such an evil thing, um, how many times have you fallen back on describing Sonichu as a parody of Sonic and Pikachu, when people ask you? And when you do it, it's a good thing, you use it as a defense against attacks by Nintendo and Sega and other companies. Why is it, when you think someone else is parodying you, um, shit hits the fan? Why is that, Chris?

 '''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, you have por-, you definitely have portrayed a sense of retardedness and stupidity and even worse in that sense. And then used, that came from me and my pages, and the videos, and put them in your book. Like, you definitely drew a dildo and a sports bra as among one of the things, as among two things that Asperchu was digging out of his chest in the first book.

 '''Alec: '''Have you ever seen ''Team America''? You remember that movie?

 '''Chris:''' Yep. Yeah, I've seen that movie.

 '''Alec: '''Did you like it?

 '''Chris:''' It was okay.

 '''Alec: '''You remember how they made Matt Damon retarded in that movie?

 '''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Alec: '''Well, they did.

 '''Chris:''' Some of, some of those jokes do not hit me right away because they're not that, they're not that obvious to me. Or I don't know what's about the context of it. Like for example, the recent new ''Family Guy'' where Chris dates the Down's Syndrome girl, and then apparently the joke where she says "I'm the daughter of a former Alaskan...something."

 '''Alec: '''Governor. It was Sarah Palin, Chris. It was about her.

 '''Chris:''' Former Alaskan Senator, that was it.

 '''Alec: '''No, it was the governor.

 '''Chris:''' But yeah, it was supposed to be, it was, I learned in an article in today's ''Washington Post'' that, uh, that apparently it was meant as an attack on Sarah Parin, and I did not know that when I first heard that.

 '''Alec: '''Sarah P-A-L-I-N, actually.

 '''Chris:''' But I was, at least I was, that was a general statement.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, um, we're getting off on a wild tangent here. My question is, why is parody such a bad thing to you? When other people do it.

 '''Chris:''' Uh, I do not understand half the question. Why is parody blind to me...?

 '''Alec: '''Why do you think parody is bad when other people do it?

 '''Chris:''' Oh.

 '''Alec: '''I mean, it sounds, it kinda sounds like, if I had drawn you as a perfect, you know, super-strong master of the universe like you draw yourself in your comic, then you would have been fine with it, because I would have been kissing your ass in that case.

 '''Chris:''' That would have been, that would have been considered, that would be considerably agreeable right there between us, yeah.

 '''Alec: '''So you prefer that people just kiss your ass all the time?

 '''Chris:''' It may, it may, it helps, it makes me feel better, it makes me feel encouraged.

 '''Alec: '''It makes you feel better?! Chris, you're an adult, you really want people to kiss your ass all the time?

 '''Chris:''' Well, yeah, not all the time.

 '''Alec: '''Why can't you learn to deal with...

 '''Chris:''' I don't want, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like constant abuse.

 '''Alec: '''What constant abuse?

 '''Chris:''' And torment and slanders and cursings.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, what torment and slander and cursing? Hey, Chris, okay, okay, you don't like slander? What about all the lies you've told about me? What about, okay, remember a while ago you made a video trying to hypnotize people into hating Asperchu? Like you spoke in backwards Spanish or something? Remember when you cursed me with the death threats?

 '''Chris:''' And I apologized for that.

 '''Alec: '''No, no, no, no, not, no, you're not getting away with that bullshit excuse this time, Chris. Okay? You can't just do things, do horrible things, and then offer a fake apology afterwards. That's not okay. That's not what apology is. You know, you claim to be a Christian, this is really, do you really think this is what God wants his children to do?

 '''Chris:''' Hm. You're right, it is not something that, uh, God would like.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah, well, you're not a Christian.

 '''Chris:''' [''shifts to a grim, offended tone''] I am a Christian. I am a baptized practicing Methodist...

 '''Alec: '''No, no you're not. You don't practice... Baptism doesn't mean shit. You don't even try to practice what Christianity teaches.

 '''Chris:''' Well, for one thing, I don't have a total understanding of all the rules, and, uh...

 '''Alec: '''Well, you can't be a very good Christian if you don't understand the rules.

 '''Chris:''' Of course, there's a whole lots of, to memorize, and, and it's...

 '''Alec: '''[''mockingly''] Yeah, religion is hard, isn't it?

 '''Chris:''' ...and, what is, God does want, one of the things God wants us to do is not to worry about every single detail.

 '''Alec: '''But you worry about every single... Oh, no, no, okay, no, that's not how it works. God wants you to follow the rules that he lays down. God wants you to try to be a good person. You don't even try to be a good person. You are completely selfish, and you do whatever you want, and you demand that other people go out of your way for you, to do things as you want them to. And then when someone starts pestering you, you offer a superficial apology and hope that smooths it all over. And then you draw a comic, you know, negating even that simple apology, where you threaten people and murder them in your comic. Thereby proving that you were just lying to the person who, you know, thought that you actually understood the point he was trying to get across. God condemns lying, you know.

 '''Chris:''' [''angry sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''Admit that you lied to me when you said, when you agreed with me that you didn't have a right to use Simonla. Admit that you have always believed that Simonla is yours.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] I'll admit...that.

 '''Alec: '''Oh, okay. Okay, good, so all of our previous calls were just lies, then.

 '''Chris:''' Not, no, not, no, they actually happened.

 '''Alec: '''Yes, they happened, Chris, but your responses were lies. I know the phone calls happened in reality.

 '''Chris:''' Hm. Anyway, uh, let me get back, anyway, uh, I don't mean to be all, but I want to get back to an early, to the earlier topic about, uh, what's wrong with you making a parody of a parody. Okay, well, okay, well, take a cue from what they did in one episode of ''Robot Chicken''.

 '''Alec: '''I don't watch ''Robot Chicken'', so this reference means nothing to me.

 '''Chris:''' Hm. Well, anyway, anyway, anyway, one...

 '''Alec: '''Try explaining it to me without the use of TV references.

 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] Consider a remake of a remake of an original movie! That was original as a blockbuster.

 '''Alec: '''Okay... What about it? What about a remake of a remake?

 '''Chris:''' It's not very good.

 '''Alec: '''Sometimes they are. Sometimes remakes are better. Did you see the new ''Dawn of the Dead''? That was way better than the George Romero shit.

 '''Chris:''' I have not, I have not seen either, I have not seen either ''Dawn of the Dead''.

 '''Alec: '''You probably shouldn't, 'cause there's gore in it, and I know how much you hate that.

 '''Chris:''' I don't mind, I don't mind gore, up to a certain point.

 '''Alec: '''Well, obviously, given how gory your murder of me was. But, okay, I'm still having a little trouble understanding why, um, parody is okay when you do it, but not okay when someone else does it.

 '''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Hm.

 '''Alec: '''Because you proudly proclaim Sonichu to be a parody, but at the same time you accuse other people of doing parodies like they're doing a bad thing.

 '''Chris:''' [''more stalling''] Hm. Okay, well, think about this. How about if somebody did a parody to Asperchu?

 '''Alec: '''Yeah?

 '''Chris:''' And made him look even more stupid and more retarded, and actually brutally killed him in all the blood and gory detail! Or had him sexually raped in a prison cell of all dudes! How would you feel if you saw that?

 '''Alec: '''Uh, I don't think I'd give a shit, honestly. I mean, if it was well-done, I might kinda laugh at it. If it was meant to be a funny parody. See, I don't take myself completely, I don't take myself completely seriously like you do. I can laugh at my own foibles and I can laugh at the foibles of my comic. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

 '''Chris:''' [''pause''] That is...a theory, yes. Though I am not one hundred per-, I'll, that is, a, a previous...

 '''Alec: '''So you don't really agree with it, though? You don't think imitation is ever a good thing?

 '''Chris:''' Not one hundred percent.

 '''Alec: '''Because Sonichu's an imitation of Sonic. Then you must agree that Sonichu is a good thing.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah, because it was, because it was originally meant in a positive light. But then I get all the inputs from the trolls and all that on the internets, and then that just plain ticks me off.

 '''Alec: '''Okay, if the guy who created Sonic, I don't know what his name is, but if he came along and discovered your Sonichu comic, he would probably see that at least half of it is just you attacking trolls... I mean, the comic's not even really about Sonichu. It's about you, and it's about your war against trolls.

 '''Chris:''' Well, that's to be undone because, because I, because I have just, after I finish with book number 10 I will be making less appearances in the book, in the books, and then, and now it will be more about Sonichu.

 '''Alec: '''Are you gonna do that reboot that we talked about?

 '''Chris:''' There will be a form of a reboot, yes.

 '''Alec: '''Why did you do these pages, then, if you're gonna do a reboot?

 '''Chris:''' I mean, I mean, if I'm gonna be making less appearances in the comics, I figure I may as well let myself go out with a bang.

 '''Alec: '''Um, no, no, Chris, Chris, I explained to you, a reboot is a complete restart. What happens in the reboot will have nothing to do with the comics that you've made thus far. And you know, you said you had like 30 pages, you only uploaded like...16.

 '''Chris:''' That was the amount I had to complete number, book number 10. And the book is completed.

 '''Alec: '''You said you had like 30 pages.

 '''Chris:''' Well, right now I just wanted to get book number 10 out of the way.

 '''Alec: '''But you said you were going to have like 30 pages up on your birthday.

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''So you went back on your word again.

 '''Chris:''' [''angry''] Well, I overestimated myself!

 '''Alec: '''What do you mean, "overestimated"? You said you had like 30 drawn and ready to be Photoshopped.

 '''Chris:''' Well, just accept the fact that I had, I finished book number 10, and I had them all ready for Photoshop, and I uploaded them.

 '''Alec: '''You know, if you have a deadline with a publisher and they're expecting 30 pages by a certain date, and you come to them and say, "Oh, yeah, here's 16 pages," they're not gonna be happy with you.

 '''Chris:''' Hm.

 '''Alec: '''And you didn't even upload them on your birthday, you uploaded them today. The day after. People who miss deadlines don't get paid.

 '''Chris:''' Well, I had computer troubles.

 '''Alec: '''Of course you had...

 '''Chris:''' And I had to go out, and I had to go with my family to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday.

 '''Alec: '''Sonichu is your job, Chris!

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] That's another thing, you put them in the perspective of like, he's my job, it just makes me feel...

 '''Alec: '''Well, you intend to make your huge money-making franchise, right? So yes, he is your job.

 '''Chris:''' Yeah.

 '''Alec: '''Yeah! And you don't take your job seriously!

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, but you see, with that belief, with that definition, in the mentality of an artist, when the thing was originally supposed to be a work of art and creativity, then it just cheapens it.

 '''Alec: '''Um, well, then, I could say it cheapened it when you started saying you intended to publish it and make money off of it.

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''So what you're telling me now is, you have no intention of ever making money off Sonichu. Because if it is just a work of art for its own sake, that's fine. But you keep promising, you know, deadlines that you miss, and you keep saying you're gonna publish it and make money off of it.

 '''Chris:''' [''massive sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''Do you not want to make money off Sonichu anymore?

 '''Chris:''' No, I would like to make money off of Sonichu.

 '''Alec: '''Well, okay. You're cheapening it, then, it's not a work of art anymore.

 '''Chris:''' Because I had too many influx from bad people like the trolls!

 '''Alec: '''What the hell do trolls have to do with it, Chris?

 '''Chris:''' And also from, and also from...

 '''Alec: '''I have you as a troll, and my comic kept going just fine.

 '''Chris:''' And also from...

 '''Alec: '''And how do trolls control what goes in the comic? Go ahead.

 '''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] It's when they really tick me off, and then it just, it just, it's like putting, [[Sonichu_10#Curing_Da_Homos|it's like putting poison into the water supply]].

 '''Alec: '''Why do you keep responding to trolls, then?

 '''Chris:''' [''mega-sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''And another thing, you have a really broad definition of "trolls," it seems. Because you think that people that ask you questions you don't like in your Mailbag are trolls. You think homosexual people are trolls just for existing, because you want to cure gays.

 '''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''I think the ironic thing there is, gays would probably consider you a troll. Because you want to destroy their identity when they haven't done anything to you.

 '''Chris:''' [''yep, another sigh'']

 '''Alec: '''You think I'm a troll, and I've been trying to help you.

 '''Chris:''' Well, I'm sorry, sometimes things are, I have been trying to collaborate, I get misunderstood often, and it just really makes me feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm being misunder-

[''Call cuts off.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Current]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gzmndqjwz1x The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ae7T05cIJQ YouTube Version: Part 1]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8

2010-04-18T19:26:04Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8''' is the eighth and the second to last of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 18 February 2010.

==Summary==
Alec calls Chris, at the latter's request, to discuss the inclusion of [[Asperchu#Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]] in the [[CWCipedia]] ad space. Chris, naturally, wants the pages taken down, but Alec explains the many ways in which Chris reneged on their earlier agreement concerning the removal of Asperpedia's ads. From there, the conversation spirals out into a lengthy discussion of Chris's laziness, hypocrisy, bigotry, and dishonesty, until [[stress]] finally overwhelms him and he refuses to continue.

Some of Chris's strangest psychological issues find prominent display here. For instance, his difficulty accepting the fact that his fictional characters are exactly that - fictional - leads to a bizarre passage where Alec is able to swamp him with guilt regarding the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]]. It takes several minutes for Chris to come up with a partial admission that his characters don't actually have a life of their own. Chris's repetition of the idiom "killing people left and right" suggests a very minor [[CWC-isms|CWC-ism]]. Chris likes idioms.

Chris's fear of [[homos|homosexuals]] seems to remain in effect, despite his recent claims of a change of heart on the subject. While at one point Chris says he now "sees them in a more positive light," he apparently still wants to see all the homos vaccinated and turned into decent, honest straight people. Chris claims that this will save them from going to hell, but he's unable to cite any scriptural or other basis for this belief. Alec points out that Chris is unfairly stereotyping homosexuals in the same way other people might stereotype autistics, a point that was likely lost on Chris two or three minutes after Alec made it.

On more everyday topics, Chris claims to be spending some time lately cleaning up his family's [[14 Branchland Court|disaster area of a house]], although there's as yet no corroborating evidence to confirm this. Of course, he describes simple household maintenance tasks in tones most people usually reserve for the torments of the damned. He also claims to have some 30 pages of his comic in the works for publication on his birthday, February 24, but can't come up with a decent explanation for why he wouldn't upload at least some of those pages sooner and maintain a more regular update schedule. (In the end, he managed to upload only 20 of the promised pages, and they arrived a day late.)

Eventually, just as in their [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|previous phone call]], Alec's comments become ever-so-slightly pointed, which is enough to drive Chris into a full-speed retreat. He manages to muster a polite goodbye instead of simply hanging up, but he is clearly in no mood to face any more harsh reality.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|UxfkNdoV3fM}}
| Stardate = 18 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
'''Chris:''' Hello?

'''Alec:''' Hey Chris, it's Alec.

'''Chris:''' Hi Alec.

'''Alec:''' So uh, [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec, but Alec wins''] I got your e-mail, uh, looks like you want to talk. What's, uh, what's up?

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, uh, just to let you know that I'm uh, that I'm in the middle of dinner right now so we'll have to make this short. But, ahh, yeah, I am a bit, uh, concerned that you have continued with the, ahh, oversized ads on the [[CWCipedia]]... I mean those- the smaller banner ads- that was that was okay. I would have accepted that- I would have accepted that on a daily basis. But, no, you had to add- you had to go and... [''Alec begins to talk over Chris'']

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' add-

'''Alec:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' a whole-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big-

'''Alec:''' Chris-!

'''Chris:''' to the big -

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' page-

'''Alec:''' CHRIS!

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Alec:''' You asked me to call you... *right* at 9:30 and when I do, you're [[obesity|eating dinner?]]

[''Alec sounds understandably annoyed.'']

'''Chris:''' Well, I wasn't sure, because I'm...

'''Alec:''' What are you eating?

'''Chris:''' I'm having some chicken.

'''Alec:''' I- uhgh. Chris, [[Chris and his ego|if you're going to ask someone to go out of their way for you for something you should probably... actually allow them to do so and not act like you are inconvenienced when they do.]] That's just a suggestion. But I-

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' But I- well... I-I-I think [''Chris attempts to talk over Alec for this whole sentence''] maybe, if you actually want to have a serious discussion- that's why I called... but... maybe let the chicken wait until we're done with our call, how about that? Cuz' I don't like calling you only to hear that you have something else to do even though this is the exact time you told me to call.

'''Chris:''' Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I'm sorry.

'''Alec:''' So. So. So, why don't we have our talk, and maybe the chicken will get cold, but you can microwave it when we're done.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. So we had the understanding that we were not going to go back to the oversize ads again.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Okay, well, I can explain that. Do you remember how I told you that if you met my requirements exactly, I would remove the ads, but if you failed to meet my requirements, the ads would get worse? Do you remember when I said that to you?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yes...I...that...

'''Alec:''' So you failed to meet my requirements. You did meet Evan's requirements, apparently. Evan is happy with you, and I'm proud of you for doing that, because Evan is, he's satisfied that you killed Simonla. However, I am not Evan, and I had different requirements than Evan.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, why are you not satisfied?

'''Alec:''' Mm. Well, there's a few reasons. First and foremost, you did not state all of the things that I told you to in your apology video. Like how Sonichu cannot make money in its current form and is a doomed franchise and you will need to start over with something original. You made no mention of that. Already. Next, your last apology video was... Well, "insincere" is kind of too lenient, if I called it that. It was just, it was just insulting. I mean, you obviously felt absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Even though you swore up and down to me when I talked to you that you did. But I'm pretty sure you just wanted to finish the phone call, and you thought that you could just read things off a list and that would please me. Oh, and then you hung up on me, I think like five or six times.

'''Chris:''' And I did, the last one I did apologize for that in the e-mail I sent you.

'''Alec:''' Um, but you hung up on me multiple times. Chris, I think that you believe, I think you believe that if you do something wrong and then you offer a superficial apology, you believe that gives you license to just do it all over again. You know, that's not what apology is about, right?

'''Chris:''' That is not what apologies are about.

'''Alec:''' Okay. And the reason you hung up on me is because you were trying to avoid me. You were trying to just brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I will admit that, the last one, and I apologize for that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. So, if you want that apology to mean anything, then in the future, including this call, and if we talk again, you are actually going to have to stick to that word and not ever again attempt to brush me off.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Alec:''' That make sense? Now. Let's talk about those ads for a bit. If you notice, they really aren't ads for Asperpedia anymore. What I started, I started a new comic, called [[Sonichu Revolution]]. And that's actually what I'm using the adspace for. And what Sonichu Revolution is, it's actually, it's like a reboot of Sonichu, see, since you aren't uploading pages I thought I would do a nice thing for your fans and use my ad space to keep your fans happy.

'''Chris:''' [''has been trying to interrupt''] Well, no, I am, I am doing the pages now. Listen, your comic pages, they should, they should stay on your website, your website alone. I do not want your pages on my website that only shows my pages.

'''Alec:''' Oh, it's kinda too bad that I bought ad space on your website, when I gave you multiple opportunities to get out of me having web space, er, ad space on your website. You didn't take them. I can do what I want with my ad space.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' How many times did I, was I gracious enough to give you an extremely easy way out of all of this?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, not sure. Define, define "easy."

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, by "easy" I mean, how many times did I lay out a very clear, very specific set of requirements that I had of you, and where I promised that if you followed those requirements, exactly, then I would remove all my ads and I would do my best to stop Evan from, you know, attempting to sue you. Evan's, you know, in the past, he's happy now, but my ads are still an issue. And you know, I asked you to be sincere about the apology, which you never were.

'''Chris:''' Yes. Okay, well, just to let you know, okay, well, I understand for, yes, uh, you did offer me with, you did tell me very descriptively, very detailed-ly, what you wanted, a number of times. I'm gonna est-, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna estimate like about five to 10 times at this point. Because we have not talked over the phone that much. For maybe 20, or 20 minutes, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go with that.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, we've talked... Well, it's not quite that high. I think three or four times I specifically laid everything out for you.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, well, okay, at this point, yeah. An overbid is a good estimate.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Alright, I'll give you that one. So yeah, multiple times I gave you opportunities to, you know, to handle the situation and to come out scott-free. And, if I remember correctly, I did talk about how you are the luckiest person in the world, to have competition like me, who would be so generous and go out of his way to help his competition. I mean, a lot of other companies would have just blown you out of the water and not thought twice about it. But, you know, I like Sonichu, or I used to like it, back when you actually updated it, and I know that it does have some fans still and I wanted to see it continue. Because I don't want to just take over everything. I don't want to be the only artist out there.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That's not fun. You kind of want to be the only artist in existence, I don't know why you want that. Why do you want that, anyway? Why do you not want other artists to exist?

'''Chris:''' Um, I never said, I never said that I did not want other artists to...

'''Alec:''' Well, you said it with your actions, if not with words directly.

'''Chris:''' Okay, okay, well, maybe...

'''Alec:''' I think we talked about that one time. Actions are louder than words, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, okay, well, perhaps my actions were misunderstood in this case...

'''Alec:''' Oooh, not misunderstood in the least! Oh, no, your actions are very clear. You slandered and smeared me as much as you possibly could. You put all of your effort into trashing me rather than building up your own comic. There's... If you can convince me there's some way to misunderstand that, then you know, by all means try, but as far as I could see that was a pretty clear message. It's hard to misunderstand that, it's hard to misunderstand, you know, you repeatedly hanging up on me.

'''Barbara:''' [''Distant background''] Who are you on the phone with?" [''She continues to occasionally make background noise'']

'''Chris:''' I know, I...

'''Alec:''' You've been out of commission for like three weeks, you haven't done shit for your fans. When are you going to come back with your comic?

'''Chris:''' I, I am, I, I still, I am, I have been working on my comic, for your information. I am up to pages in book number 11 where I have drawn that far, and I'm about halfway colored through all those pages which I drew up.

'''Alec:''' How many pages is that?

'''Chris:''' That's over 30 now.

'''Alec:''' Over 30. Really. How many days since you started that particular 30 pages. Has it been, like, what, two weeks? 15 days, around there?

'''Chris:''' Around there.

'''Alec:''' Okay, uh... I'm not really sure if asking this is going to be useful, but why would you partially complete 30 pages instead of, say, completing and uploading 20 pages? Or 25?

'''Chris:''' That would hap-, that would happen to make up for lost time on on my birthday, which is this coming, which is the next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, what about your birthday? What are you going to do with it?

'''Chris:''' I'm going to upload all those, all those, all those pages, all the main pages in a bundle, in a bunch, on my birthday, which is next Wednesday.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, until then I think I'll just keep uploading Sonichu Revolution, because I want to please your fans, even if you don't. Chris, why, why would you...

'''Chris:''' I gave my new, I put up a new page yesterday as well. The last page I had...

'''Alec:''' So that... That, yep, I saw that, actually, that one page, plus I think you had two pages where you killed Simonla, so that's three pages total in like three weeks.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, anyways...

'''Alec:''' I do two pages a day. That means I've uploaded, in the past 15 days I've uploaded 30 pages of my own. And it's... When's your birthday, like eight days from now? So I'll have another 16 pages up, so that's 46 pages...

'''Chris:''' Well, you are, you are mistaken, we're not talking about, we're not talking about eight days, my birthday is on the 24th. Of February.

'''Alec:''' Oh. My mistake. So six days. Well, I'll have 12 new pages by then. In addition to the 30 I've already uploaded.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' I'm sorry, I didn't know when your birthday was.

'''Chris:''' Well, it's specifically stated on the, on my bio page on the CWCipedia, and in a couple other places. The 24th of February. 1982.

'''Alec:''' Hey, Chris. Chris. When is my birthday?

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I do not study your bio, I did not study your bio page...

'''Alec:''' Well, Chris, Chris, it's on my bio page on the Asperpedia. Why wouldn't you know it?

'''Chris:''' Well, I did not make an effort to study you, because...

'''Alec:''' I mean, if I'm supposed to know your page, don't you know mine? Chris, I'm kinda hurt.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I apologize for that, and after we're done here I'll go to your bio page and learn, and learn with my mind when your birthday is.

'''Alec:''' Nah, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it. I'd rather you work on pages than go look up info about me. Because, you know, I actually don't know your birthday because I've been working on my pages rather than, you know, looking up your bio. Um, yeah, so, I do really have to recommend that you, um, begin uploading those 30 pages immediately. Like as soon as we're done with the call or whatever. It, just, get to work on it. Stay up all night if you have to. Get those pages up. Because, here's the thing about the way fans work. If you leave your fans in the dark for a week or two weeks or a month or however long, it really doesn't matter if you're partially completing something. Because if you don't put out any product, then your fans have nothing to work with. Have you ever heard of the game [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem Forever|Duke Nukem Forever]]?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, you said Duke Nukem Forever?

'''Alec:''' Yeah. Well, you know the Duke Nukem video games? You ever played any of those?

'''Chris:''' Uh, I have seen, I have seen samples of that game.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Well, the company that made those, they were working on a game called Duke Nukem Forever. That was going to be their next great title. And they were working on that for actually about 15 years. And they kept promising, "Oh, you know, we've got the engine built, we've got the characters designed, we've got all this built, all that's left is for us to release it." And they never released it because they kept retooling and tinkering with it. And finally the company actually went out of business. So now there won't ever be any other Duke Nukems. And if you keep doing the same thing, Sonichu is going to go out of business. Well, not permanently, because I have Sonichu Revolution, so it'll live on in some form.

'''Chris:''' Well, yes, well, your, yes, well, still, your Rev-, your Revolutions are not the original, are not the original Sonichu pages, of which only I can draw up and tell.

'''Alec:''' But what they are is existent. And the fans appreciate that. Your pages are nonexistent.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And if you stop Sonichu, then, you know, the fans are going to want something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Okay, well, I get, well, don't worry, you will see, you will see, all those pages, and the completion of the 10th book.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um, does this mean...

'''Chris:''' In fact, it's a...

'''Alec:''' I'm a little, I'm a little confused, how, what, do you remember when I told you... Well, of course you remember, I brought it up plenty of times, about how you really need to either do some sort of major reboot of Sonichu, or else just come up with a completely different comic? Because of all of the elements that you stole from other franchises? Are you still thinking about that? Because if you're going to finish book 10, then...

'''Chris:''' I have been thinking about that, actually.

'''Alec:''' What do you think about it?

'''Chris:''' Some of those, some of those changes will be talked about in the clip show that's gonna be in book 11.

'''Alec:''' Um... So, is book 11 gonna be like a transition from the current Sonichu to another one?

'''Chris:''' Yes, yes, yes, a transitions.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Oo-kay. Um, well, that's not really what a reboot is about. See, what you're doing, like a transition, suggests that the Sonichu that exists now is going to be, like, part of the same universe or world as whatever new Sonichu. What a reboot is, is a hard stop. You reset completely. You start over from scratch. Everything that came before is just, means nothing, it's null and void. Like, for example, the Spider-Man movies, they aren't in the same world as the comic, they were sort of a reboot. Because they told everything over from the beginning.

'''Chris:''' Hm. I see.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I mean, I know it's... I can sympathize with you on this. I mean, you've been working on Sonichu for 10 years now, and the thought that you have to abandon it completely and start over with something new, I understand that that's kind of a scary thought. But it is true.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' Have you, have you, uh... What do you think of Sonichu Revolution, by the way? Have you been reading it? I'm only like seven pages in right now, so...

'''Chris:''' I have taken a look at it, and I did not like the way you were killing characters left and right! That's no good, it's just terrible! Don't go killing, don't go killing, don't go killing characters, that just does not, that just, that just does not, that just does not work. It's like...

'''Alec:''' Chris...

'''Chris:''' It's like doing Zombie X-Men, [[Wikipedia:Marvel Zombies|Marvel Zombies]].

'''Alec:''' Yeah. I remember that. That was actually a pretty popular comic, wasn't it?

'''Chris:''' It's actually on the [[PlayStation Network]] digital comic download, only on the [[PSP]] right now.

'''Alec:''' Well, I've seen it in stores, though. Well, it was pretty popular, was my point.

'''Chris:''' Anyway, that's, anyway, that's the point. That's still, like, you know, killing, you're just like killing everybody left and right. It's not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, um, how many, how many comic books and TV shows and movies and, you know, whatever other media have you seen where characters die? Do you think they're all bad?

'''Chris:''' Yes, well, well, yeah, they are bad, because that's just totally fake. And plus, to do it in such a gory way is just terrifying. It's like any, it's like any of the Saw movies. It's especially like, especially like the first trap in Saw VI.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies?

'''Chris:''' That was horrifying.

'''Alec:''' Did you like those movies, Chris? The Saw movies?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I liked them, I mean I enjoyed the falling, the telling...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris''] You liked them? But there's death in it! How could you like a movie that has death in it, Chris?! Death is bad. You said death is bad.

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm not talking about...

'''Alec:''' Death is bad.

'''Chris:''' I'm not saying, I mean, yeah, I'm not talking about the death part, I did not say I liked the death parts, I liked the building of the character of John Kramer. In the movies.

'''Alec:''' But the point is, you still liked the movies overall, right? I mean, you went to see them, you'd probably see them again?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean, yeah, they were hor-, yeah, I mean, I will admit they are horrifying, and they do frighten me, but think about, but think about, think about...

'''Alec:''' Hence the genre, horror, if it's horrifying it's doing its job, I guess.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah, but I mean, still, that's Hollywood magic, you know, that's, you know, the people, the actors in those movies are still, are still alive and well, they just...

'''Alec:''' Oh, well, right, I forgot, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|because comic characters are real people]] and apparently I'm guilty of, of multiple homicide now? Chris, you, remember when you killed [[Simonla]] because we strong-armed you into it, because you refused to do it willingly? Are you guilty of homicide now? Because you killed Simonla?

'''Chris:''' No, actually, that would, actually, you could blame the Voltorb that was placed by the toilet, placed by the toilet that exploded. Because the Voltorb exploded, it blew up the...

'''Alec:''' Chris, you drew the Voltorb. You drew the Voltorb! Chris, you knew Simonla was going to die! You knew there was going to be a Voltorb there and you did nothing to stop it! You are an accessory to murder! Who cares if someone else placed it? You knew, of course you knew she was going to die because I've been telling you for weeks to kill her.

'''Chris:''' You're, you're, well, read, yeah, well, read the pages after I put 'em, after I put 'em all up and you will see that there is, that there was, that it wasn't preventable. That there was a way that, it could not have been prevented. You will find out.

'''Alec:''' Okay, um... Did you see my page where [[Son-Chu]] killed himself? Did you see how depressed he was? I couldn't have prevented that. Sometimes people are so depressed that you just can't reach them. And it's tragic but, you know, sometimes people commit suicide because they believe there's just no way out for them.

'''Chris:''' I have a question for you.

'''Alec:''' Oh?

'''Chris:''' You said you like Sonichu.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Why did you make him, why did you draw him killing himself?

'''Alec:''' Soni-

'''Chris:''' If you liked him you would not have done that!

'''Alec:''' I didn't draw Sonichu killing himself. I said Son-Chu, your car, your... I don't want to say "Autobot" 'cause that's trademarked, but...

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, it's, excuse me, well, I misunderstood. Well, yeah, that was, that was wrong. I mean, that was like you're killing my vehicle, it's like you're making me have to pay, like...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting off Chris's demented babble''] No, Chris, I didn't kill your, I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. He was depressed because he had a name that he hated, and all the other Autobots made fun of him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, the Autobot, the Autobots do not make fun of each other for their names.

'''Alec:''' No, they make fun of Son-Chu. Chris! Look at what he says in that page! He says that he hates his name because it's not a strong, manly Autobot name. Why would he lie?

'''Chris:''' Well, it's only because you're, you're putting...

'''Alec:''' He had nothing to lie about, he had nothing to lose. He was gonna kill himself.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I did not, I'm not the one that drew, that drew my car, my Autobot, to say that. I did not. You did that, pretending to be me, in a sense.

'''Alec:''' I wasn't pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' You were pretending to be...

'''Alec:''' Chris, look up at the page. Do you see on the comic page where it says "Copyright 2010 Alec Benson Leary"? I'm pretty sure that shows that I was not pretending to be you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still, you have no right, you have no right in killing a character that was originally mine, and that I have never said, have never said personally, had died. When a character dies, I will let every, I will let everybody know myself. Anybody else who, who makes up, who says outside of my jurisdiction, it's just a whole bunch of bogus baloney.

'''Alec:''' Well, maybe I can say it's a parody, and that'll make it okay, right? If Sonichu Revolution is a parody? Would that be okay?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' It would?

'''Chris:''' I would accept that, yeah. And plus, don't make them so big. Maybe like three quarters of the current size, three quarters.

'''Alec:''' No. Nah. Then no one can read the text. I'm not gonna make it smaller, it's kinda hard to read the text already.

'''Chris:''' You should have those pages on your Asperpedia! People could just go over there and read them for themselves.

'''Alec:''' Um, but the whole point of Sonichu Revolution is to make up for your lack of updates. Why would I put it on my Asperpedia? That defeats the purpose. I, I'm...

'''Chris:''' But, but you're just...

'''Alec:''' I'm keeping the fans there for you, Chris!

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing...

'''Alec:''' You could thank me once.

'''Chris:''' Because you're drawing those pages, not me.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, that's right, I'm drawing the pages. You're not drawing anything. Or you say you are, but we have no proof.

'''Chris:''' I am, I, you're wrong, I have been drawing the pages, and I have been coloring them.

'''Alec:''' But you're not uploading them.

'''Chris:''' Because I have, because I'm too busy working on the, working on coloring after I have drawn them all up! And plus, I have real life things, like I have to go hang, like I have to hang out with my family. I have errands to run...

'''Alec:''' [''cutting him off''] Chris! Take a guess, right, I want you to guess...

'''Chris:''' And plus...

'''Alec:''' Between, Chris, no, Chris! I want you to guess, between one and 10, how many hours did I spend in school yesterday? Take a guess, right now.

'''Chris:''' How many hours you spent in school yesterday...

'''Alec:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' The average of 10.

'''Alec:''' That's right. I spent 10 hours in school yesterday. I also uploaded a page of Sonichu Revolution yesterday.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, what about your job? You have your job as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah. What about my job? I upload pages while I have a job and school. So what about my job?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, you got all your, you're spending your time there as well.

'''Alec:''' Yes, that's correct.

'''Chris:''' Uh, okay, well, I admit, I'm not sure really what the point I was trying to make there, I lost my train of thought. [''Yeah, we guessed that, Chris.'']

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, yeah. It's true that, yes, I spend a lot of time in school, and a lot of time at my job. And I, you know, and I have errands too. Not really for my family, I don't live with my family, but I do errands on my own.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright. Well, okay, well...

'''Alec:''' How much time... You've mentioned that several times, that you have to run errands for your family. Like, what do you have to do for them? What did you do yesterday? What... How... Like, are they having you break rocks with sledgehammers or something all day? Because you say it's like some huge, serious thing.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, they're old. I have to do chores for them. I have to do chores for them around the house. Like I had to even, I even shoveled snow to get the, to get the, to make a path for them and get the cars out. And my, and my car, it was stuck in, two front tires were stuck in their own dug grooves, and we finally, and finally got the car out of those two grooves today.

'''Alec:''' So you've been working on that solid, non-stop, just digging your car out? I mean... I live in Minnesota, you know, we get some bad snowstorms sometimes, and my car will just get completely buried in snow. And it might take me, like, in the worst-case scenario of storms, it might take me half an hour to dig enough snow out for my car to move. We usually don't get that much snow, though.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' You said some chores around your house, too, like besides shoveling. What else do you have to do?

'''Chris:''' I clean the kit-, I clean the kitchen, I do the, I vacuum, I move stuff around, I clean the bathroom as well, I do a lot of things around the house.

'''Alec:''' You kind of sound like you're talking to someone who has not seen that video [[Tour of Chris's House|tour of your house]] right now. And I want to let you know that I actually have seen it, so I'm pretty sure... [''Alec is interrupted by numerous beeps, as if Chris is pressing buttons on their phone.''] Chris, can you hear me? Hello? Chris, are you pressing buttons? [''The beeping ends, a long silence follows.'']

'''Chris:''' Hey, Alec?

'''Alec:''' Hey, hey Chris, did we get disconnected there?

'''Chris:''' [[Lies|Yeah, 'fraid we did.]] It happens to me, between me and my, uh, gal-pal as well, in our conversations sometimes. Reception goes bad during this time of night.

'''Alec:''' Oh, okay. Well, uh, glad I got you back. Okay, well, we were talking about, uh, the chores you need to do, I think, in your house. So you're saying you clean your house up?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Uh, okay, um... Have you cleaned your, cleaned your room at all?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I do clean my room.

'''Alec:''' Mmm, how much do you clean it?

'''Chris:''' I clean my room like once a week.

'''Alec:''' Really.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' O-kay. So, how long does it take when you do that? Because if you do that once a week, that's just, like, maintenance, shouldn't take too long.

'''Chris:''' It takes like two hours.

'''Alec:''' Two hours. Okay.

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Alec:''' Um... How long does it take you to clean the rest of the house?

'''Chris:''' It takes me, it pretty much takes me one to two hours per room.

'''Alec:''' Hm. Okay. Like, what do you do when you clean? What specific stuff do you do?

'''Chris:''' I move this, I move stuff around, I take the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum, I take, I scrub the floors with 409 and paper towels. It's really hard work, back-breaking!

'''Alec:''' Back-breaking.

'''Chris:''' Yes. My back hurts.

'''Alec:''' I hope you don't mean... Your back hurts from cleaning?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, after extensive long time, I mean, sure.

'''Alec:''' I thought you, I thought you were strong, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, [[I AM STRONG|I am strong]].

'''Alec:''' Why would your back just... How strong are you? Like... Because it seems the videos...

'''Chris:''' Believe me, I'm very strong. Believe me, I'm very strong.

'''Alec:''' Really. Like... Uh...

'''Chris:''' Anybody, anybody, anybody will tell you that, like, yeah, they, they just feel like they break their backbones after, after a very extensive time scrubbing the floors, getting up and down, as well.

'''Alec:''' You should get a Swiffer. Swiffer Wet-Jet, because then you can stand while you're scrubbing the floor. I use it, it's really useful.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Alec:''' It's quick, too.

'''Chris:''' Well, we don't have it, we don't have that here.

'''Alec:''' Huh. Maybe you could sell some of those video games like I was talking about. Then you could afford one. Have you thought at all about selling any more of your, your games, Chris? Because...

'''Chris:''' No, I have no plans, I have no plans of that at the moment.

'''Alec:''' Why would you want to hold on to video games that you don't play anymore?

'''Chris:''' I do play them, when I feel nostalgic...

'''Alec:''' ALL of them? Chris, you've got... How many [[List of Chris's games|hundreds of games]] do you have? And you play all of them regularly? Is that what you're telling me?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Regularly, like... Yeah. Every, like, uh, I'd say, yeah, on a regular basis I do.

'''Alec:''' Every single one.

'''Chris:''' Yeah!

'''Alec:''' That must take, that must take a lot of time.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Is video-game-playing back-breaking too? Just out of curiosity? I wouldn't think it would be.

'''Chris:''' Uh, no, but it's one way for me to relax after I, after I have done the work of cleaning the room. Or shoveling the snow in the yard.

'''Alec:''' Okay, but you only clean once a week, and shoveling, that doesn't happen all the time. I know Virginia got a snowstorm recently, right, but that was kinda like a one-time thing.

'''Chris:''' That's, well, okay, well, just to correct you, I was not talking about cleaning period once a week, we're talking about cleaning my room once a week. And, and then, we have other, then, it's like, on another day I'll clean up the kitchen, and on another day I'll clean up the living room, on another day I'll clean up the, I'll clean up my parents' bedroom...

'''Alec:''' Chris, I've seen the video tour of your house.

'''Chris:''' That's like, that was, that was like, that was like over, that was like over a year ago.

'''Alec:''' Over a year ago. You really... You should film a new tour, then, actually, because people still think that your house is, you know, a mess like that.

'''Chris:''' I'll think, well, I'll consider that.

'''Alec:''' You really should, you know. It would be a good idea. Chris, here's, okay, here's what I don't get about you. There are so many things, like, you know, if your house is clean, you could just make a video and show people that. And if you've really been working on the pages, you could just upload them. And if, you know, if you wanted to prove to people that you have [[Nintendo]]'s permission to use [[Pikachu]], shit like that, you could just show them the letter that Nintendo sent you, that gives you permission. Why do you, why do you take the hard way through everything? Why do you want to keep receiving, you know, demands and questions about this and that subject when one little action on your part could just stop all of it?

'''Chris:''' Because for me it's not all that easy.

'''Alec:''' What's not easy about it? Like, okay, the Nintendo...

'''Chris:''' Because, I'll, I'll just, also [[Bob|my father]]'s [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|still very angry at me]] for doing the video touring the house over a year ago. And he's making me all mad, he's very angry...

'''Alec:''' Why, why, why was he angry about it? Just refresh my memory.

'''Chris:''' It's like an invasion of privacy?

'''Alec:''' How is it an invasion? You live there, I mean, it's your house, if you choose to upload a video, that's not an invasion of privacy. If you [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|try to videotape people without their consent]], that would be an invasion of privacy. But I don't think your parents were in that video.

'''Chris:''' You don't, you don't, you don't understand, I, and I forget all of the details my father said, but he's still very angry at me for doing, for having done that.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, I guess if you say he's angry then okay, that's that, but... Um, what about, um... Well, like the Nintendo thing. Couldn't you... Did Nintendo, like, write you a letter saying, you know, yes, go ahead and use Pikachu? Couldn't you just scan that and show that to people? 'Cause everybody...

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter.

'''Alec:''' You mis-, you misplaced it?

'''Chris:''' I misplaced the letter. Yeah.

'''Alec:''' That seems like a really important thing, how could you misplace that? And if you clean your house so regularly, I mean, it seems like you would find things that you had lost regularly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It takes, yeah, moving, moving stuff, if I had, I had, I regularly look at stuff, and that, and it got misplaced that way.

'''Alec:''' I'm sure you could just actually call up Nintendo, because... I mean, that would be... You know, the legal department of a company keeps records of everything they do. They would be happy to just fax you or send you another copy of the letter.

'''Chris:''' I'll keep that in mind.

'''Alec:''' Businesses lose papers sometimes, and you know, that's why there's redundancy, that's why. And not only your fans, you know, but if you showed that letter publicly, then I couldn't demand that you admit Sonichu's a doomed franchise, now, could I? You wouldn't, you wouldn't even have to do the reboot? I mean, think about it. If either you, you know, reboot your entire comic that you've been working on for 10 years, that's one choice, or your other choice is, you just call up Nintendo and ask them to send another letter, and show it to everyone.

'''Chris:''' Alright.

'''Alec:''' Destroy 10 years of personal hard labor, or show a letter.

'''Chris:''' Alright, well, I will think, I will, I will look, I will look into that later.

'''Alec:''' Um, okay. Um, this is reminding me of... In your recent, where you started updating the Mailbags again, um... Let me take a look at a Mailbag, because I don't remember the exact phrase, but... You responded with kind of a stock phrase to a lot of letters. Let's see here. Um, where is it. Ah! "Your letter has been read fully and your thoughts have been in-pyoo-ted..." I guess inputted. "And accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." Chris, you spend even less time responding to these e-mails than you do normally. What's up with that?

'''Chris:''' Okay, for your information I actually read, I actually read and re-read each letter before I make a final response.

'''Alec:''' But your final response is, is not thought out at all. See, this is kind of an interesting parallel to your comic work, because you say, you say that you...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah, well, there are points where, there are points, there are points where I don't...

'''Alec:''' [''trying to interrupt''] Chris, Chris, Chris. CHRIS. CHRIS! Let me talk, and don't interrupt, alright? I will let you speak after I finish this sentence. This is how it goes. One person speaks, the other person responds, the first person is... Okay. Um, you say that you spend a lot of time "reading and re-reading" and really considering the letters, but when it comes time for the final step, which is, you know, the response, you don't really put any effort into that. And that's an interesting parallel to your comics, because you say you spend a lot of time drawing and coloring and, you know, preparing your pages, but that final step, uploading them, you don't put any effort into that. So it seems... It kind of sounds like you go 90 percent of the way, but you don't actually finish that crucial last 10 percent. And just to let you know, people are mad about this stock response that you made.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to the Mailbag, it's just that, you know, even after re-reading it, I still cannot, I still could not come up with an appropriate response. So I had to go with a neutral response.

'''Alec:''' Why... What do you mean, you can't come up with a... There's a lot of different subjects to these letters, and you give the same neutral response to every one. Are you telling me that all of these subjects, you really can think of absolutely nothing?

'''Chris:''' There are a few subjects on which I come up blank! Yes. I'll admit that.

'''Alec:''' Okay. Um... Like... Um, someone wrote you a letter about your comments about homosexuals being bigoted and offensive, and you gave the stock response to that. Um, that seems like a huge Achilles' heel with you, is if people mention the word "homosexual." Your mind goes blank.

'''Chris:''' Well, yeah, of course, I could not think of an appropriate response to that letter.

'''Alec:''' "Your comments..." I'm reading the letter right now. "Your comments on homosexuals are bigoted and offensive. You want them to die in explosions. You want a vaccine for them, just because they tick you off..." Um, the last two parts, those are actually very clear questions, as far as I can see. Like, if someone asked me those questions... If someone asked me, "Do you want homosexuals to die in explosions?" I would tell them, "No." If someone asked me, "Do you want a vaccine for them just because they tick you off?" I would explain, "No, homosexuals don't actually tick me off, and I would never want to vaccinate them." I just came up with that right now. That would be my response if such a question was asked of me. And that's not even that long of a response. You don't need a page worth of response.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, plus, plus I perceived that, because I perceived those statements as insults, and...

'''Alec:''' Oh, so we're back to everything is an attack on you, this... Remember when you thought that my ads were an attack on you? So now someone... So, so you thought my ads were an attack on you, now this homosexual thing, um, you've made plenty of offensive comments about homosexuals, which they could, and plenty have interpreted as attacks by you. And so when someone asks you about them, how is that an attack on you?

'''Chris:''' They said when I, it was an e-mail, and that's in that where you just read about it, they called me bigoted.

'''Alec:''' That's because you are bigoted. You want...

'''Chris:''' I am not bigoted.

'''Alec:''' You hate homosexuals. How many, how many times...

'''Chris:''' I actually said that, actually I have, actually, thanks to [[Jack Thaddeus]] I recently, I have, I actually see them in a more positive light! It was, I think it was...

'''Alec:''' Is that the same Jack Thaddeus that is an evil villain, that does underhanded deals for ad space?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Well, you kinda flip-flop a lot. No, forget what I said. Um...

'''Chris:''' Uh, well, well, for your information, though, specifically, Jack Thaddeus has told me about, uh, homosetts-, about homosexuals from his point of view and how that they would never, they would never make any actions towards me because I'm not even try-, I'm not even that attractive to him.

'''Alec:''' You know, Chris...

'''Chris:''' Attract him. 'Cause he's a homosettsual.

'''Alec:''' Uhh-huh. You know, um, I've actually been hit on, I've been hit on by homosexuals, once in a while. It happens to me in my life.

'''Chris:''' Oo-kay.

'''Alec:''' It's, I never got ticked off by it, I never saw it as offensive. I mean, I'm, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't really be interested, but if, if someone, man or woman, thinks I'm attractive, then, you know, well, it's flattering. Even if I'm not interested. Why would you think it's an attack if a gay person finds you attractive? I take it as a compliment that people think I'm attractive.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, it's, yeah, well, still, I mean, if I was, well, okay, well, if a homosexual came up to me and flirted with me like that, I wouldn't, uh, no, no, I would let them know that, no...

'''Alec:''' That you're not interested?

'''Chris:''' And, yeah, I cannot accept your, I cannot accept that because I'm not interested, I am straight, nnn...

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, that's...

'''Chris:''' And then leave it at that.

'''Alec:''' That sounds, yeah, that sounds like a good...

'''Chris:''' And then, then, if the, and then if the guy continued to, continue on like that after the warning, then I would get really mad.

'''Alec:''' Well, that's understandable. And you know what? That happens, not just with gay people. I mean, straight people, plenty of straight people have trouble getting a hint. I mean, you know, guys, all the time, there are guys who, you know, hit on a girl, and she says, "No, thank you, I'm not interested", and they just keep pressing the point. [[Megan|Overstepping their boundaries]]. [[Kacey|Trying to hold their hands, things like that]]. That is... You know, in a situation like that, it's perfectly acceptable to get offended if they don't respect, er, if they don't respect your, um, your decline. Your negative response. You see? Um, but I... When, when did you talk to Jack about this, this homosexual thing? When did you have that conversation?

'''Chris:''' It was about, it was like over a, it was like over a week ago.

'''Alec:''' When did you answer Mailbag 52? Pretty sure it was less than a week ago, wasn't it? Because if your issues with homosexuals are resolved now, then why couldn't you offer a simple response to that? Okay, here's what you could have said. Um... Well, just to be clear, do you still want a vaccine for homosexuals?

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] Uh, I'm sorry, I did not understand, I do not understand that. Could you repeat that please?

'''Alec:''' [''slowly this time''] Do you want to create a vaccine to eliminate homosexuality?

'''Chris:''' [''another pause''] Hmm...

'''Alec:''' Do you understand that?

'''Chris:''' Honestly... Yeah, okay, yeah, I understood that. So yeah, you're asking me that right now. Or are you, or are you just, I mean, uh, okay.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, I am asking you right now.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''pause''] In an attempt to make a better world, a better world, I would support it. I would support that.

'''Alec:''' Oooo-kay, so, when you said that you don't have problems with gays anymore, that wasn't actually true. Chris, well, like I said, I'm not gay, but I have a number of gay friends, um, a few family members that are gay, and it's part of who they are. That's part of their identity. Why would you want to take that away from them? What, what about removing homosexuality would make the world a better place? [''exasperated sigh''] It shouldn't be that hard, Chris, because you already, um, established a predicate that "no gays equals the world is a better place." So, having said that, that must mean that you do have an idea of how the two things are connected.

'''Chris:''' Uh... Well, what two things?

'''Alec:''' Chris, do you... Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Chris, you said, you said "no gays equals the world is a better place." That, "no gays" is point one. That connects to "world is better," point two. How do those connect? What is... Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Ah, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, yeah, okay, now I get it, I mean, it's just that, you know, uh, [[Lies|I'm getting an incoming call right now]], and, uh, taking it will interrupt this conversation...

'''Alec:''' Well, you should probably ignore it. Yeah. Um, so please...

'''Chris:''' It's like, hard to, though, it cancels, it cancels your, it cancels your vocal input out at that point when the...

'''Alec:''' Well, did you... Yeah. Did you hear my point, though? Please explain how no gays equals world's better.

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] You know, okay, well, I'm not necessarily saying... I'm not saying that as in reference to them as people. I'm saying that in reference, and like...

'''Alec:''' Well, removing, removing homosexuality equals a world better. Explain that.

'''Chris:''' Because there will be less risk of those people going to hell.

'''Alec:''' Hell?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. When they die.

'''Alec:''' What do you... Oh, you mean instead of heaven?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' So you're saying gay people go to hell? Um, so are you, you're a Christian, then? If you believe that?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' What, um, like... You know, it's been a while since I've read a Bible, where in the Bible is that whole gays-go-to-hell thing?

'''Chris:''' It's implied within parts of the Bible.

'''Alec:''' Well, it's, understandably it's implied in parts of the Bible, I'm asking where. I'm not a Christian, so I don't have to read the Bible, but you're a Christian, when's the last time you read the Bible?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I have read the Bible, but...

'''Alec:''' You're sitting here judging people based off their sexuality without even knowing, like, you know, what parts of the Bible... Hey, hey, um, [[Chris and religion#Chris the Shaman|you know what else the Bible condemns? Black magic]].

'''Chris:''' [''long pause''] So?

'''Alec:''' How many times have you tried to curse people? Cursing is black magic. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I get it. It get, I get what you're saying right now.

'''Alec:''' So you're going to hell, right?

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Well, I'm making, I'm making atones for that.

'''Alec:''' Uhhhh...are you? Really?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Well, you... I asked you to give Mao a Forgiveness Blessing, that was the most lackluster one I've ever seen you do. Do you believe that black magic, uh, works, Chris?

'''Chris:''' There's a po-, there's a chance that it can, but...

'''Alec:''' Um, not if you're Christian. Because the Christian God says that all magic and supernatural stuff that doesn't come from God is false.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Hm. I, I have no comment to that.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, um... Let's go back to the gay thing, because, you know, we've established that you don't really know a whole lot about the religion you claim to believe in.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' So I would, I would, um, when you're in the absence of important information like that, I would think, just go with what you know. Go with what you see. And by that I mean, you know, you've never been attacked by a homosexual, they've never done anything evil to you.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Actually, yes, I was abused by one! A homosexual principal at my elementary school, slapped me on his lap, said some offensive, said some offensive things to me, and I felt uncomfortable, so I jumped off his lap and hid under his desk.

'''Alec:''' What did he say to you?

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member, I don't remember what he said to me, but they were offensive.

'''Alec:''' Um, so... Okay, well, there are bad gay people, just like there are bad straight people. Um... So, one gay person did something bad to you that you don't really remember, therefore all gay people are going to hell? Is that the logic you're doing there?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, more or less.

'''Alec:''' How many... Okay, so, I should condemn all straight people because you've been horrible to me. You've said a lot of bad things to me, you've threatened me. Maybe, or, not just straight, maybe I should condemn autistic people, because you identify with autism a lot and you've been a very bad person in most of our dealings.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Alec:''' Are all autistic people, um, really selfish and demanding and...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] No. Not all of them are.

'''Alec:''' But all homosexuals are bad? Because you had one bad experience? That's a double standard.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I, okay, well, okay, well, they're all not. [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Well. You know, I'll wait to see if you really stick to that belief or not, I guess. I mean, I guess it's good that you're saying it now, but... Why do you sigh so much?

'''Chris:''' Well, I'm a little tired right now. I had to, I actually cleaned more, I cleaned the kitchen again today.

'''Alec:''' [[Biological clock|Don't you usually stay up to like 4:00 A.M. or something]], you said? This is kinda like the middle of the day for you, isn't it?

'''Chris:''' No, this is not the middle of the day for me, this is the middle of the night for me.

'''Alec:''' But... Okay, you said you sleep until like noon, right? And then you stay up 'til like three or four at night. That's kind of a, that's a really weird schedule, by the way.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but actually, late-, actually I am, I'm mostly going to bed before midnight and I get up at like 9:00 A.M.

'''Alec:''' Oh. Well. I actually go to bed, like, around 11, so I'm closer to my bedtime than you are to yours, but I feel fine. We all get tired, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Anyway...

'''Alec:''' Um, what do you think of... Let's see here...

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' [''long pause''] Um, oh, here's another good question. When someone asked you about the Mailbag that you fabricated, and you gave them that stock response again. I just, I really want to see you actually... My, my main goal right now is I want to see you put real effort into your Mailbags.

'''Chris:''' I will... I put as much effort as I could, but it's, you know, sometimes I do come up blank, and that cannot be helped.

'''Alec:''' Chris, you're... I know you've said plenty of times, you're a pretty smart guy, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but sometimes I'm quick, sometimes I'm [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow]].

'''Alec:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' It just happens! I don't know why. It's my head. I'm not a psychiatrist. A psychologist.

'''Alec:''' You don't have to be a... You... You remember that [[Mailbag 52#This, if anything, requires a canned response|Mike Jackson memorial e-mail]] you got here? You used the copy-and-paste response on that too.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] Yeah, well, I didn't know who that was, I didn't realize that that was the, uh, that was a guy that, that went out, and that moved out when their, the prostitute did. Lose him. And I apologize...

'''Alec:''' I thought that you, I thought that you said that you spent a lot of time reading and carefully re-reading these e-mails. How do you not know the basics of what it's about?

'''Chris:''' Well, I miss a detail or two sometimes, it happens to a lot!

'''Alec:''' You missed all the detail, Chris! You missed all the detail.

'''Chris:''' I mean, I thought they were talking about Michael Jackson, the pop star.

'''Alec:''' Maybe if you'd read the e-mail you would've, you know, seen that that wasn't the case? Did you even look at that memorial? Chris, do you...

'''Chris:''' I can say I have not looked... I did not...

'''Alec:''' Chris, why do you not put effort into anything?

'''Chris:''' [''sudden anger''] I do put effort in every-, in everything!

'''Alec:''' Everything?! No! I told you that your website was going to get taken down because of a lawsuit over a stolen character, and you did nothing. I tell you you gotta upload pages and you do nothing. I tell you you gotta respond...

'''Chris:''' I am, I am working on the pages...

'''Alec:''' But you don't upload them!

'''Chris:''' Yes I will, yes I do, and I will!

'''Alec:''' No, "will" is different from "do." "Will" is the future tense, and it hasn't happened yet.

'''Chris:''' [''angry sigh''] I'm getting tired, I'm getting tired of this. You're raising your voice at me, I'm not, and I'm not, I don't appreciate it.

'''Alec:''' Well, I... I think I kind of, I'm just trying to enunciate a point, I'm trying to get you to respond.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Chris, um... A person raising their voice, that really is enough to just, you know, completely discombobulate you? Besides, you yelled at me first.

'''Chris:''' No, you raised your voice at me first.

'''Alec:''' No. No. I asked you, "Chris, why do you not care about anything? And you screamed, "I DO CARE!"

'''Chris:''' You're being, you're being, you're being ridiculing to me.

'''Alec:''' Uh, is that the pot calling the kettle black? Chris, I want to, I want to understand why it is okay for you to do so many things to other people that make you mad when they do them back to you. Please, I'm asking you a simple question. Please explain this to me. Why is it that any level, any tiny level of stress or inconvenience, and you immediately will fall back on, you know, you're being attacked, or you're being, you know, your world is...

'''Chris:''' It just happens, espec-, it just happens, especially when I'm tired.

'''Alec:''' No. That's not an excuse. That is not an excuse. That's an excuse that a child uses. Children complain that they have to do a little bit of hard, you know, work, or deal with unpleasant situations. Honestly? I have been very polite with you, Chris. I don't swear at you, except, you know, on a few occasions where you really piss me off, but for the most part I don't. I don't yell at you, I raise my voice in response to you raising your voice. I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to talk to you like an adult.

'''Chris:''' Okay, well, I'm just tired right now.

'''Alec:''' [''snorts'']

'''Chris:''' And you know, considering your bed at 11:00, uh, you probably want to finish this up, want to wrap this up as well. So I...

'''Alec:''' No, I'm doing good.

'''Chris:''' Let's just that, let's just agree that, uh, I will be uploading the pages, and uh, what you got, perhaps, perhaps after book 10 is completed, uh, we could, uh, actually, you know what...

'''Alec:''' Well, you know what? If you want to...

'''Chris:''' Don't worry about the ads, don't worry about that, uh, ad space at this point. I'll just agree to that, but, uh, but, yeah, but you know...

'''Alec:''' [''talking over Chris's babble''] Please, Stop, Running, Away from me, Chris.

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Alec:''' Please stop running away from me.

'''Chris:''' I'm not running away from you, I'm right here.

'''Alec:''' [''snort''] I know you're not literally running away, but you're trying to end the conversation because I'm making you feel bad.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' And it's not even because I'm attacking or insulting you, I'm just presenting, you know, a few things that are very minorly unpleasant.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Okay, well, with that, uh, sometimes, there are things that, yeah, we don't, we generally, we would not prefer, we would prefer the opposite of unpleasant.

'''Alec:''' You seem to prefer the opposite of unpleasant literally all the time.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Any little bit of stress and you run for the hills. You avoid anything unpleasant, even, even in cases where dealing with a small problem now will avert a very big problem later. You always choose the hard way. You choose to deal with the big problem that you could have avoided. Bad news is gonna happen, Chris, life is not all fun and games.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm sure, well, I'm sure that that's happened to you and you actually had to do that as well.

'''Alec:''' Yeah, but then I turned 10 and I started learning to get over it.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh'']

'''Alec:''' Man the fuck up, Chris. Pardon my language, but...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I get, I get, and I said that.

'''Alec:''' You're gonna have to show that with your actions, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. And I will.

'''Alec:''' Do you believe that we, um, could ever be friends, Chris?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Maybe.

'''Alec:''' Maybe?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Alec:''' Okay, well, you gotta start listening to people that are trying to help you.

'''Chris:''' I am open to, I am open to opinions and thoughts when they are presented in a non-condescending, uh, appro-, acceptable tone, or, or whatever.

'''Alec:''' That's what you always say, but you never act on them. I'm showing you things you haven't done, and you still don't do them. Because I've done this with you several times.

'''Chris:''' Hm. Yeah. I will, listen, I gotta go, I'm really, seriously, I'm feeling really sleepy right now.

'''Alec:''' Alright, well, have a good night. Maybe I'll talk to you later.

'''Chris:''' Alright. Take care. Bye-bye.

[''Call concludes.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9|Chris and Alec Call 9]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?2dmiegjiyzd The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxfkNdoV3fM Youtube version: part 1]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7

2010-04-18T19:23:44Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7''' is the seventh of the available phone conversations between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 08 February 2010. They discuss the locking of the [[CWCipedia]] on 6 February 2010, as well as Chris's [[5_February_2010|apology video]] from the previous day.

The conversation is extremely one-sided, with many long pauses and silences following Alec's comments. Chris has very little to say except when goaded, and even then his answers are sullen and short. While Alec makes a dogged attempt to reason with him, he fails.

==Summary==

As the conversation begins, Chris is predictably unhappy about the locking of the CWCipedia to edits. Supposedly, he was planning to get back to answering [[Mailbag]] entries after a long period of computer trouble.

Alec presses Chris on the subject of doing away with his infringing character [[Simonla]] and publishing a written apology to [[Evan]] in the pages of his comic. Chris is obviously resistant, and indeed admitted in a [[9_February_2010|later video]] that he [[Lie|never intended]] to give up Simonla.

The topic then moves to Chris's [[I_am_Alive|second apology video]]. Alec argues that Chris was merely going through the motions and didn't actually understand or care about what he was apologizing for. Chris lamely attempts to claim otherwise, but it's obvious that Alec is correct. At around this point in the conversation, Chris becomes increasingly withdrawn and doesn't seem to be listening to much of what Alec has to say.

Alec rouses Chris briefly by challenging him on his misconception of what the term "[[biological clock]]" actually means. He also gets a reaction by claiming that Chris doesn't actually care about his comic. In response, Chris blames his broken-down computer for his failure to publish more pages and updates. Apparently, it was disabled by a power surge for a few days in early February. When Alec points out that Chris could easily have spent some of his [[List of Chris's games|video game budget]] on a more reliable computer, Chris has no response.

The conversation finally ends when Alec lays into Chris for the massive amount of time he flushes away on games and flailing around at invisible enemies on the internet. When Alec attempts to dish out some valuable advice regarding Chris's total waste of his life, Chris hangs up.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|Y80N40s3JmA}}
| Stardate = 08 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''Chris''': Hello? 
 '''Alec''': Hey, Chris, it's Alec. 
 '''Chris''': Hello, Alec. 
 '''Alec''': How are you? You're good? 
 '''Chris''': I'm doing okay, I'm doing okay. 
 '''Alec''': Cool, cool. Ah, just calling to see how things are going with...well, I know that Evan went forward with freezing the CWCipedia on you. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. So, uh...what are you thinking about that? 
 '''Chris''': What am I thinking about that? I can't edit it, I can't edit squat! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I was gonna answer some more Mailbag letters! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I finally got my [[Computers|PC]] back and running after a weekend of not having it after a power fail- after a power failure. [''[[sigh]]''] 
 '''Alec''': Well, you know, um, I think the thing here is you did kinda drop the ball on getting the pages up, you know, as quick as possible. 
 '''Chris''': I am gonna get the pages up, and Simonla will be, Simonla will be killed. 
 '''Alec''': Um, well, that's good, I'm just...you know, Evan, he got kinda impatient, because he was waiting a long time for this. I talked to him about it, but he's, he wasn't keen to move on it. He just wanted to. Do you have them finished? The Simonla death page and the apology page? 
 '''Chris''': And I'll, and I'll have them, I'll have them upload...either tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever the thing is un-frozen. 
 '''Alec''': I think Evan wants you to show them to him first, just to make sure they're good. 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Well, you know, can you blame him? He just wants to see the product before he un-freezes the site. 'Cause if it's not what he wants then he's going to re-freeze the site, and that's a hassle for him. He's gotta make sure you're good on your word. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright, yeah. I'll, I'll send them to him, I have them sent to him tomorrow. 
 '''Alec''': Alright. Well, you know, that's between you and Evan. I'm going to, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm just not satisfied with your apology video, and I don't think I'll be asking you to make another, because it's...it's become apparent to me that...I don't think you really even understand what you did wrong. 'Cause that video, well, first of all, the call last time, you were just aching to get off the phone with me. You were just trying to hurry the call along. And then the video, you just read off a list. It was rather apparent that you didn't put any thought into why I wanted you to say those things at all. And that was really the point, Chris, it wasn't about getting you to read things off a list, it was about getting you to... 
 '''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Well, I mean, yeah, actually I did, actually I did get the point behind everything. 
 '''Alec''': There was even less emotion in your voice in that video than there is normally, when you apologize for something. I mean I've seen apology videos you made before and they're all pretty lackluster, but this one was just like a slap in the face. You didn't say Sonichu was a failing franchise, either. That was part of my list. Sonichu can't make money. And you said you would say it, but you didn't. You know, you weren't actually sorry. You said those things that I asked you to say because you thought that reading them off a list would get my ads off of your site. I took my ads off your site for the moment, just because I don't really want Asperchu associated with your perennial legal troubles, but if you do get CWCipedia back up, then my ads are going back, because I'm not satisfied. That's if you get it up, Chris, because as far as I can tell you don't really even care about Sonichu that much. 
 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do! 
 '''Alec''': Well... 
 '''Chris''': I have to [''garbled''] in the pages. 
 '''Alec''': Chris, I warned you numerous times, over the past several weeks, that someone was targeting you for a lawsuit over problems you were causing with Sonichu. If I was warned that someone was targeting me for a lawsuit, and they had grounds to sue me, I would deal with it right away. I would drop what I was doing. I mean, you had time, Chris. You had all the time in the world. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': Doesn't that seem reasonable to you? You don't go to school. You don't have a job. You know, I asked you what your day was like, last time I talked to you, and you said that you were sleeping in 'til eleven in the morning. I mean, eleven, Chris? That's ridiculous. I would kill to be able to sleep in all day. I have to get up early every day because I have things that I need to do. I mean, you could have slept in 'til ten instead and then used the extra hour to make the apology page, or make an apology video, or both. 
 '''Chris''': Some days... 
 '''Alec''': I mean, I don't understand what this whole "biological clock" thing is that you keep falling back on. Are you even listening to me right now? You weren't listening last time. I think you said in... 
 '''Chris''': You know what, look it up, do you know what, look it up on Wikipedia. 
 '''Alec''': Look up what? 
 '''Chris''': Biological, biological clock! 
 '''Alec''': Biological clock? 
 '''Chris''': Now I'm... 
 '''Alec''': "Biological clock" is a phrase that women usually use to their most fertile reproductive years. I really have no reason, no understanding of why you would apply that to yourself. 
 '''Chris''': It means, it, it reference to, to sleeping schedule. 
 '''Alec''': [''sigh of his own''] You know, I don't have problems with sleeping, any sleeping schedule. I think maybe, I think, you know, what happens with a lot of people when they have absolutely nothing to do with their days, that's when their sleep schedule gets messed up. See, I have a routine, I have to go to work, and I have to go to school, and I work on my comic because I care about my comic. You don't have a job or school and you don't care about your comic, therefore your body... 
 '''Chris''': I actually do, I actually do care about my stuff! I care about my stuff! 
 '''Alec''': Your actions say otherwise. You know, you don't upload any pages, how many times have I told you, you have to start uploading pages? Not just when I wanted you to make the apology page, I just mean in general. But you don't, you didn't listen. 
 '''Chris''': Well, I have been working on the pages, and I will be uploading them as soon as the thing gets un-frozen! And I had to go through my, without a PC the past weekend, because I was on a power failure! 
 '''Alec''': Power failure? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah! 
 '''Alec''': Like the power was knocked out all weekend? That doesn't stop you from drawing... 
 '''Chris''': It was actually knocked out, it was actually knocked out for about 40 minutes, but then it took me a lot longer for me to get my computer back up and running. 
 '''Alec''': Um, I have blackouts on occasion and my computer shuts off, and then when the power comes on I just press the power button. My computer comes back up in a minute. 
 '''Chris''': You know, for me, it can't, it, it came, I tried powering back on and then, and then the farthest it had gotten was just the introductory HP Pavilion blue screen. And then it would go into looking like one of those color bars where the station's not broadcasting. 
 '''Alec''': So what you're saying is you don't take care of the equipment that you need to do your comic. 
 '''Chris''': I admit I need a new computer. 
 '''Alec''': Why can't you buy one? I've seen... 
 '''Chris''': I can't afford one right now. 
 '''Alec''': I've seen videos of you in your room, you've got a fancy, you've got like a 40-inch HDTV in there, you've got your PlayStation 3, you've got a wall full of video games, but you can't afford a basic computer? Nothing fancy, costs maybe a couple hundred bucks. I could go buy myself 10 new computers right now if I wanted. Good computers. I wouldn't do it because I save my money, but the fact that I'm capable is proof of that. How many video games do you own that you don't play, Chris? 
 '''Chris''': I play all my games in, within my lifetime, for your information. 
 '''Alec''': How many of them do you currently play? I've played a lot of games in my lifetime, but I own very few right now, because as soon as I'm done with them I usually sell them. You sure have a lot of time on your hands, Chris, to play all those games, for that matter. I've never come close to owning as many games as you have. Chris, how many hours a week do you spend on video games right now? 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] I dunno, I'd say about...maybe two or four a day? 
 '''Alec''': That's an awful lot of time to be spending on video games per day. And that is time that you could be using on your comic, if you cared about your comic, but obviously you care more about video games. 
 '''Chris''': I do care about my comic, it's just I have, it's just I use that, it's actually between drawing, drawing page, between drawing and coloring. 
 '''Alec''': But you could use that video game time to upload them. And you never did that. 
 '''Chris''': Oh yes I do! 
 '''Alec''': How many days have you missed since you promised you would upload two pages a day? You don't care. Your actions say that you don't care. Actions speak louder than words, Chris. I don't even consider you competition anymore, do you know that? Because you, you obviously, my competition are artists who actually care about their work, and you play video games all day. And then you sleep in, because you have nothing to do. And then you, when you do actually take time to do something, you don't actually work on your comic, you just attack me. And then when I'm nice to you, you continue to attack me. And then when I get mad and yell at you, you back down right away, because you can't stand up in a fight. And then when I'm nice again, because I think to myself, "I don't wanna keep yelling, because I'm not that kind of person," then you become disrespectful again. Do you have anything to say, Chris?

[''total silence'']

 '''Alec''': He hung up.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|Chris and Alec Call 8]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?yc23t2ynqx2 The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y80N40s3JmA The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6

2010-04-18T19:21:16Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6''' is the sixth of the calls between Chris and Alec Benson Leary, which took place on 04 February 2010. As Alec notes several times, Chris is far too agreeable to Alec's conditions, and at times simply doesn't seem to be listening.

The end result of the demands is the [[I am Alive|C-log of 5 February 2010]], in which Chris half-asses his way through most of Alec's requests.

As a result, the CWCipedia is shut down from February 6th to February 12th. When it is brought back up, the Asperchu ads are made worse, just as Alec promised.

==Summary==

Alec spends much of the phone call dictating his list of demands to Chris and asking Chris to recite this list multiple times. Alec repeatedly tells Chris that if Chris meets all of his demands, the ads for the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] will be removed from the [[CWCipedia]], but if his demands are not met in full, his ads will get worse. All the while, Chris tries to rush the phone conversation, clearly not taking this shit seriously enough. Alec brushes upon the topic of the word [[naive]] and Chris shows yet again that he doesn't understand the meaning of the word. [[fail|He also believes that the phrase "well call me naive" is an invitation to call someone naive]]. Alec explains that it is just a turn of phrase, but metaphor and sarcasm seem to be concepts that are beyond Chris's grasp. Alec presents Chris with a hypothetical situation when someone says "just shoot me" and asks what Chris would do. [[Sonichu Special 4|Chris actually considers shooting someone in this case]].

Chris's ignorance is in full swing here. Chris feels that attracting fans from another fandom should be considered stealing, as if fans spontaneously generate out of nothing and the ones he has are his property and no one else's. Also, Chris still has no idea how ad space works. Alec spends a great deal of time explaining to Chris how many Sonichu characters are in violation of various [[Chris and copyright|copyrights]] and that if Chris tries to publish Sonichu, he will be sued by Nintendo, Hasbro, Sega, etc. He proposes to Chris that he must reboot Sonichu without all the [[Transformers]], all the [[Pokemon]], [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]], and the other shit Chris stole. Chris says he will [[lie|take it into consideration]], but clearly will not as he seems averse to the idea of rebooting Sonichu. Judging from Chris's history of [[White knight e-mails|rejecting good advice]], Chris will continue Sonichu in all its copyright-infringing glory.

==Alec's Demands==

Alec's demands for Chris were as follows:

#Admit that Alec has greater Fanbase.
#Admit that he asked Evan permission to use Simonla.
#Admit that Simonla was never Chris’s creation.
#Admit that he attempted to edit the CWCipedia article to say that Simonla was his creation.
#Acknowledge that Evan took away rights for Chris to use Simonla and that Chris has been ignoring this
#Apologize for using the word naive about Alec.
#Apologize for cursing Mao and give a Forgiveness Blessing to him.
#Apologize for stealing the false Chaotic Combo and Asperchu from Alec.
#Make the apologies in a comic page.
#Apologize for impersonating his mother off camera (not in a video).
#Admit that Chris has been trolling Alec.
#Apologize for insinuating that Alec keeps female prisoners in his basement and rapes them.
#Admit that he doesn’t have a good excuse to not upload pages everyday.
#Apologize for disrespecting his fans.
#Violently kill Simonla in the comic.
#Wear Sonichu medallion and high school ring while filming the video.
#Admit Sonichu is a doomed franchise.
#Not look insincere.

Chris tried to weasel his way out of meeting all of Alec's requests. He gave Mao a half-assed Forgiveness Blessing, killed off Simonla off-screen after Alec specifically asked for her to be killed on-screen, and admitted to not having an excuse for updating '''some days''', but that life gets in the way, even though Chris clearly doesn't have a life. He completely refused to mention that he had been troll to Alec and that Sonichu is a doomed franchise. Chris gave the most resistance to these ideas in the phone conversation. Chris also showed no sincerity and tried to rush though the video. Needless to say, Alec was far from pleased with Chris.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|PBPdXXFnvzU}}
| Stardate = 04 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

'''Alec''': ''[cut off]''--s it's, uh, it's Alec.

'''Chris''': Yes, hello, Alec.

'''Alec''': Hi. Um. Uh, I was uh, wondering if you'd like to...continue our discussion about, um, about getting all the ads down?

'''Chris''': Ohhhh-kay.

'''Alec''': Um, well first I wanna let you know that um, just to make it clear, if you--if you make another video that, um, includes all the requirements that I'm going to list for you, I will, uh, remove all of my ads completely. From the CWCipedia. If you, if you follow my instructions. That sound good?

'''Chris''': Yeah okay, hang on lemme get something to write on and something to write with.

'''Alec''': Alright.

'''Chris''': Okay, I'm listening.

'''Alec''': Alright. Um, first of all, like I said in our last call, I'd like you to admit that I do have a very sizable fanbase. Uh, because I think you believe that I don't have any real fans. I'd like you to admit that I do. I have quite a lot of fans. A lot of them are former Sonichu fans.

'''Chris''': Okay, well, yeah...admit that. Okay what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Um, well, in your apology video I asked you to address not only Simonchu, but Simonla. And you didn't. And I'd like you to bring up that you actually did ask Evan permission to use Simonla when you first began using her, uh, which shows that you understood from the beginning that Simonla was not yours and you were borrowing her from--or, or him, rather, Simonchu--from the original creator. And I'd like you to admit that Simonla was never yours.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': I see. Hm.

'''Alec''': Will you do that, Chris?

'''Chris''': I'm writing it down, hang on.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': Alright, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Ummm...I'd like you to admit that you...attempted to edit the CWCipedia article about Simonla to say that she was your original creation. Well, wasn't a nice thing to do to your fans.

'''Chris''': Right. Anyway, uh, got that written down. What's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Um...I want you to acknowledge that even though Evan gave you permission to use Simonla, he later took it away. And he took it away quite a long time ago. And I'd like you to admit that you have been ignoring and disrespecting his requests to remove his character from your comic.

'''Chris''': Alright I'm writing it down. Hm. Huh...permission to ''[mutters]''...

'''Alec''': You know, it sounds like, um, you're actually pretty agreeable about this, and I'm glad about that.

'''Chris''': Yeah well I'm writing it down here. Um...yeah.

'''Alec''': Well yeah you're writing it down. So you're, you're going to do those things so far?

'''Chris''': Yeah. ''[very quickly, as if trying to sneak this past Alec]'' Well anyway--anyway it's still debatable. Anyway. What's the next thing?

'''Alec''': ''[nobody's fool but his own]'' Nooo, it's not debatable. Chris, all these conditions I'm listing, you have to do these, or my ads go nowhere.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Anyway. Uh, okay, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': Does that matter to you, Chris? You said that's debatable and I'm saying it's not. Don't you...wanna acknowledge that?

'''Chris''': Acknowledged, anyway, uh, what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': ''[sigh]'' Alright. Um, I asked you to apologize for the word naive. I want you to do that. Specifically say that you used the word naive because you intended to hurt and insult me, and you know that I am not naive.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': Alright. Yeah. Okay what's the next thing?

'''Alec''': I want you to apologize for cursing Mao. And um, actually I'd like you to issue him--give him a forgive-a-ness blessing. To--to retract that curse-ye-ha-me-ha.

'''Chris''': Hm. Mm...okay, uh, anything--anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, I want you to apologize for stealing from me.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': You know, the um...the false Chaotic Combo I created, you stole them, and you stole Asper...chu and tried to change them around.

'''Chris''': Uhh...

[pause]

'''Alec''': ''[inhales]'' Um, can we talk about S--can we talk about Simonla a bit? Because I wanna know why you say it's debatable.

'''Chris''': Hm. Lemme think about that a moment...mm...okay, I guess that was a...premature thing to say, so I re--I respectfully withdraw it. So, is there anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, so you...so you are going to say that Simonla is not y--you're going to say exactly what I asked you to say about Simonla? You're going to...?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Okay. Um, the next thing is...these are the things that I wanted you to make in a video. But I also want you to, um, in your comic, just take a page or whatever, you know, take a little side break from the main story, and use the page to explain, uh, everything that I just said as well. And I would like you to, in that comic page, apologize to me, and to Mao, and to Evan, for all the things that I just listed.

'''Chris''': Uh-huh.

'''Alec''': Are you gonna do that?

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': 'Cause uh, I asked you...I just wanna make sure you're going to do these Chris, 'cause I asked you to do these things last time that we talked about it, I mean the last time before you, you know, hung up on me, and um, you said you were writing it down but then you forgot like half the things that I asked you to do.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Alright so, is that it, is there anything else?

'''Alec''': Um, I guess you don't have to put it in the video, this next part, but I'd like you to apologize for pretending to be your mother in the last phone call. And uh, pretending that she was calling you away from the phone call.

'''Chris''': Hm.

'''Alec''': And the reason I'd like you to apologize for that is because I, um, really don't benefit a whole lot from calling you about these matters, I was calling you because I wanted to give you a quick and easy way to settle this whole ad business and to settle the fight between us, and rather than take the opportunity to listen to what I said, you pretended to be your mother, and, you know, pretended that your mother was calling you away to do an errand and you had to leave the phone call. So instead of handling the problem right then and there, and if you had done so, then, you know, the ads could have been gone by now, but instead you ''[Chris 'hm's]'' ran away from me. It shows you don't respect me.

'''Chris''': Right. Yeah. So, alright. Wrote that down. Anything else?

'''Alec''': Well, I'd like--I'd like you to admit that right now, Chris. That you lied about that.

'''Chris''': Okay, why don't--

'''Alec''': And since you--

'''Chris''': I admit that--I admit that I pretended to be my mother, to end the call early last time.

'''Alec''': Can I ask you why you did that, Chris?

'''Chris''': Because I felt it was going on and on, and I was--

'''Alec''': We were--

'''Chris''': --[[Stress|tired]]...

'''Alec''': We were barely on the phone for five minutes when you did that. And this is, like I said, this is a serious matter, and it's your problem that I'm trying to help you with. I was being gracious enough to call you, to, you know, give you a way to settle it. And you still--you ran away from me. Real men don't run away from their problems, Chris. When I--I talked to you, I talked to you on an even footing, man to man. I don't lie or deceive you. And I don't run away, even though you are a troll to me. Because, you know, obviously I've been calling you. To talk to you. Instead of hiding from you.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': Um...that's another thing I want you to put in the video. I want you to admit that you are a troll. And that you have been trolling me ever since I--ever since my comic started. And use that word specifically. Say, "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am a troll."

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

'''Alec''': Can you, um, read back, uh, to me the list that you've made since we started this call, please?

'''Chris''': Okay. Admit that Alec has sizable fanbase, address the--I had permission for Simonchu but then it was withdrawn, and I did not admit to--uh, an a, admit--admit--admit Simonla was not mine, admit ''(?)'' anything to my Simonla article, yeah Evan gave permission, but withdrew it, gone against his wishes, no Simonla, apologize to Alec for calling him naive, apologize to Mao forgiveness blessing, apologize for stealing Asperchu and parodic characters, and ''(?)'' comic page explaining all of that with more apologies, and I just apologized to you for pretending to be my mother to end the call early, and admit trolling you.

'''Alec''': Okay, good. That's good so far. Um, I'd also like you to apologize for insinuating that I keep female prisoners in my basement and use them as a...unwilling harem and rape them. Because I don't do anything of the sort.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': That's just creepy. I don't...I don't know where you got that idea.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': I mean, I can kinda see some of the other complaints that you had were based on, you know, like direct misunderstanding of things, but--but that, you know, me raping female prisoner things...that just--that c--that came outta left field. Where'd you get that idea?

'''Chris''': ''[talking over him]'' Yeah okay well, okay. Well actually...no. Ah...I never said--I never used the word 'rape', you just had them in prisom ''[sic]'' and you treated them like hamsters. You did not rape them.

'''Alec''': ''[talking over Chris, who says something unclear]'' What do you mean, 'treated them like hamsters'?

'''Chris''': You know, just keep them in cages, giant hamster wheels, giant water bottles, nn...and food pellets.

'''Alec''': 'Kay, um, even if you didn't use the word 'rape', what do you think people--what do you think the impression is people are going to get when you suggest that someone keeps female prisoners in their basement? They're going to think that um, said prisoners are being raped by their captor. And I mean, that seems like a pretty obvious insinuation. Even if you don't use the word directly.

'''Chris''': Okay. Ahh...alright anything else after that?

'''Alec''': ''[inhales]'' Umm...I am still trying to think. Um...y-you know, I apologize for seeming like I'm beating a dead horse, but I...I am a little suspicious that you seem so agreeable, because in all our previous correspondences you've been um, you know, insulting, rude, or...manipulative. Or a combination thereof. But now it seems like, you know, you're--you're just rearin' to go with this. ... Are you sure you're just not trying to--?

'''Chris''': ''(??)''

'''Alec''': --finish the phone call with me quickly? 'Cause,

'''Chris''': Well, I'm not trying to--

'''Alec''': Because--

'''Chris''': --[[Sonichu (comic)|finish anything]].

'''Alec''': Okay.

'''Chris''': I mean, [[Lie|I'm not trying to finish this phone call]], I want to put this to rest.

'''Alec''': Okay, well, good. 'Cause like I said, you do all these things perfectly, as I say, um--

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': --then my ads will go away. Um, but if--but if you make a video and you're missing anything, or if you deliberately contradict something, um, or if I feel like you are trying to pull a fast one on me and weasel out of something, then the ads are going to get worse. Because at this point I do have to assume that anything that goes wrong is a deliberate, um...evil intent on your part.

'''Chris''': I see.

'''Alec''': Do you--? I mean, that's a...fair assumption for me to make, don't you think? Considering how much you've--

'''Chris''': ''[talking over him]'' You have, you have, you have right--you have the right to make that assumption.

'''Alec''': Mmkay. Kay, well good. Excuse me just a second.

'''Chris''': Kay.

''[pause, a [[stress sigh]] is heard]''

'''Alec''': Sorry about that, I'm back. Um...

'''Chris''': Right.

'''Alec''': Can I ask you why you think the word 'naive' is so...horrible?

''[small pause]''

'''Chris''': Not only does the word sound like nails on--nails on a chalkboard when one says it, but also, it questions one's intelligence and experience. In life.

'''Alec''': I--I think it actually only questions experience, it's not about intelligence.

'''Chris''': ''[interrupting]'' Yeah but, yeah but--experience versus knowledge...still implied, the knowledge part.

'''Alec''': Well no, knowledge is different from intelligence.

'''Chris''': Yeah but also similarly it can sound like, you know, callin' somebody stupid. Or worse than that.

'''Alec''': Well, you know, no pun intended here, but if you...if you believe that then I think you kind of are naive. I mean, because the--that you--you don't have a, you know, an understanding of the word.

'''Chris''': I looked it up in a disshonary ''[sic]''. I have a understanding of the word.

'''Alec''': I--I don't know what dictionary you looked up that suggested it's a direct question of one's intelligence. ... I mean, lemme look it up on uh, an online dictionary here. Um...let's see..."lacking experience or judgments", it's really not about intelligence. And um, I am still kinda bothered that, you know, you think it's such a horrible insult that you wanted to use it on me.

'''Chris''': Hm. Okay well, in--

'''Alec''': And you--and you had happily--

'''Chris''': Okay well still in my defense though, [[Autism|you did tell me to--you did say, "well, call me naive" during that particular conversation]].

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': Um, you know that's just a turn of phrase, right? I wasn't actually asking you to call me naive.

'''Chris''': ''[watch as Alec's words bounce off Chris, like throwing ping-pong balls at a whale...]'' Mmkay. Well, you gave me the opportunity, so that's my defense right there.

'''Alec''': You should--

'''Chris''': ''(?)'' --agree on that.

'''Alec''': You should exercise some personal responsibility though, because, you know, you think 'naive' is such a horrible thing, like, have you ever heard the phrase, uh, "just shoot me"? Like, you know, someone's frustrated, they'll say "just shoot me." I mean, if someone said that in your presence, would you feel, you know, okay with [[Liquid|"well, I'll just pull out a gun and shoot them"]]?

'''Chris''': No, not nec--no, not necessarily shoot them.

'''Alec''': "Not necessarily"? Does that mean you'd consider it?

'''Chris''': Mm. No, I would not shoot them at all.

'''Alec''': Well, I should hope not. I mean, you shot people in your comic before. I hope you wouldn't shoot them in real life.

'''Chris''': Date. ''(?)'' Anyway, uh, alright, so, anything else for this video, or I mean--''[mumbles]'' aside from before apologize for labeling you as having female prisoners in your basement and...raping.

'''Alec''': Um, yes. There is another item. I'd like you to admit that you don't have a good excuse to not upload pages every day.

'''Chris''': Mm.

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': I mean, I think that's...correct, right? You don't have a job, you don't go to school. I have both, you know, school and a job, and I upload every day.

'''Chris''': Yeah. In my defense though, actually, [[Lie|yesterday I actually went on a nice d--on a date with a nice girl, and it was a great date, could have not gone better]].

'''Alec''': Oh, um, what was the date? Like all day, I mean, it wasn't like in the morning, was it? You could have uploaded in the morning.

'''Chris''': Yeah well I wa--Yeah well I was not up in the morning.

'''Alec''': Um, you didn't have, you know, any ti--What time did you wake up? How long do you sleep?

'''Chris''': ''[Unintelligible word mixing]'' Yeah, I woke up at about eleven.

'''Alec''': Yeah, well, that's not la--

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' And I had to go out and ru--I had to go--and I actually had to go out to run a couple of errands at the g-grocery store and also I had to go and get my family some anti-freeze for their car.

'''Alec''': Okay, well I-I have chores-- ''[Can't make out over Chris's interruption]''

'''Chris''': And 'caus--and c--and the--and then with that I also had to take a shower and make myself fully ready for the date.

'''Alec''': Um ''[small sigh of disapproval]'' You know, when I--When I shower and clean myself up, that takes like 20 minutes. I--I, like I said, I have a job and school and I have errands to do and I go out with people and I go out on dates and I still make sure I upload every day. I mean, Sonichu is your--Think of--Think of it this way: Sonichu is gonna be your big franchise. That's what's gonna make you money, right? Um, so you should treat it like it is your...your day to day job.

'''Chris''': Yeah

'''Alec''': And ''[Chris interrupts again with another "Yeah"]'' You--When was the last day when you uploaded a page? It's been about a week, hasn't it? I mean, even if you had, you know ''[possibly "finished it"]'' yesterday...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting again]]'' Well, in my--in my dis--yeeah. Yeah, well, okay, I did update the CWCipedia day before yesterday.

'''Alec''': ''[Alec interrupts]'' With new comic pages?

'''Chris''': I didn't necessarily upload. I made an ''update''.

'''Alec''': W-what kind of update did you make?

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': ''[Can't understand the "Abeyru" sounding thing he says.]'' the captain's log or a quote update.

'''Alec''': W-well, like, ''a quote''? Really? I mean...What does that take? 5 minutes?

'''Chris''': Yeah I mean, well--I mean uh--I--''[I give up. Tardspeak]''--answer letters and ema--in--To answer mailbag letters but I just--

'''Alec''': ''[Interrupting]'' Yeah, you got some mail--You got some mailbags piling up too.

'''Chris''': I-I just-I just could not--I just could not stand the, uh, image that was plag--that was plaguing my CWCipedia, that Mao put up. ''[Disapproving "Um" from Alec]'' I just could not stand that.

'''Alec''': You know, Chris, if we confront our demons head on and defeat them, we come out stronger on the other side. You won't accomplish anything by running from the ads just 'cause they're unpleasant to look at. I mean ''[Chris puts in a "Right" quickly]'' Yo--You se--You know, this is the internet. You've seen tonnes of unpleasant crap, I'm sure ''I'' have. It doesn't stop me from ''[Chris quickly: "Yeah"]'' going on the internet. Um, a-and like I said; "Sonichu is serious business". It's your job. You should--and jo-Jobs are difficult. Jobs are hard. And... ''[Chris quickly: "Yeah"]'' I've had--I've had plenty of hard jobs. Like, you...I don't think you have any real work experience, right? But trust me, jobs are difficult.

'''Chris''': ''[Probably disregarding everything Alec has just said because he mentioned that Chris has never had a hard job and Chris has only ever had "hard working jobs"]'' Hmm. Yeah, anyway uh...Is there anything else?

''[pause]''

'''Alec''': Umm...Like I said, y-you know; Take Simonla out of the comic and, in the comic, apologize to me and Mao and Evan for...for everything I've listed.

'''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

'''Alec''': And...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' I have the list here.

'''Alec''': Um, can I ask you what you're going to do to get your fans back? 'Cause you've lost a lot of fans to me and I know you want them back.

'''Chris''': Yeah, well, I'm going to change - I'm gonna continue my work and make my updates.

'''Alec''': 'kay, well, you've said that a lot in the past and your update pattern has ''drastically' dropped in the last couple of weeks.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I mean, it seems like... think of it this way, Chris: I'm... I am your competition, obviously, and it seems that with one little series of unpleasant ads, I have completely shut down my competition. Now, ''I'm'' a nice guy, and I'm trying to help you, and the average artist who would be your competition is ''sure as hell'' not going to help you. So, imagine if they found out 'Oh, all I have to do is buy some space on his wiki and put up an ad he doesn't like looking at'! And that'll stop his comic production entirely. I mean, are my ads really the only reason you haven't uploaded pages in a week? Yeah, well, that and your... busy day... ''[Chris tries to say something and fails]''

'''Chris''': The very dirty ones. Yeah.

'''Alec''': Um, pardon me for being blunt, but that's kind of pathetic, don't ya think?

'''Chris''': Erm... takes one to know one.

'''Alec''': 'Takes one' what? Pathetic person? I... I wouldn't consider myself pathetic, because I have 30,000 fans, the number of which I took from you. So, I don't think I'm pathetic at all. I mean, why do you think I'm pathetic?

'''Chris''': Hmm... ''[pauses]'' I do not have a reason at the moment!

'''Alec''': *sighs* Well...

'''Chris''': But... but, yeah, you-you'd pretty much had to consider yourself weak to think that, you know, t-to, y-you know, you have a bunch of fans to steal someone else's.

'''Alec''': Um... how else will uh... fans come around, Chris? How else does any new franchise gets fans? They come from other sources. People, people are not living in a vacuum. Y'know, people, fans have been fans of other things. That's how competition works, the better man wins. I'm productive and I...

'''Chris''': L-Lemme... still, the ''[unintelligible]'' of whom, your ads on my website. That... that was just... that was like stealing from me.

'''Alec''': Um...

'''Chris''': Yeah, even though you paid to put the ads there, you didn't pay the [[User:cogsdev|the Sysop]], you paid [[Jack Thaddeus]]. 

'''Alec''': Yeah. Yeah, I rented from Jack Thaddeus. That's how it works. And it turns out people like Asperchu, so... I mean, y'know... how do you think...? You watch a lot of TV, right? I mean, you see a lot of commercials. Do you think all those... people who make those commercials, y'know, Coke or McDonalds and all that think that they're bad people because they use ads? That what you're saying to me? That I am bad just because I use ads? Good franchises advertise their products.

'''Chris''': I'm not, I, I am not saying that, but if you consider me competition then it it would just, it's just terribly wrong for you to try to encourage my fans to go to you by putting, by putting your ads on your own competition space. Yeah, what if I had put up, like, I had actually successfully bought ads, put ads, bought ad space on your website, and put my ads on your website. How would you feel about that.

'''Alec''': Umm, honestly I don't think I'd be worried, because you don't respect your fans, and you don't update for weeks at a time.

'''Chris''': *sighs*

'''Alec''': I think, I think my consistency, and my sticktoitiveness, and my uh, work ethic, y'know, is what makes my product superior. My fans would stay with me. I mean, they might go and locate your website, your cwcki if you put adverts on mine, but they probably wouldn't see much there worth keeping them around. There's a length of sonichu on the asperpedia front page too, if you hadn't noticed. I mean I'm not...

'''Chris''': Um... Anyway, okay well, yeah, alright, anyway, is there uh, yeah okay are we-

'''Alec''': *interrupting* There is another, there is another... I'm sorry, go ahead?

'''Chris''': Nah, no I'm sorry you go ahead, you said there's another thing?

'''Alec''': There's another item for your list, I want you to apologize to your fans for disrespecting them. You disrespect them in general, I mean, all the time but, it's your mailbags because you don't offer thought out responses, and you delete most of the mail that comes to you these days. And, I, um, there was a bit of a backlash with I think mailbag 50 or 51, whichever one that you fabricated, y'know, positive mails for instead of taking mails from the supply of existing mail. The one that you said, y'know, the one where you, you, you basically wanted all your writers to trash me. ''[pause]'' Which is another thing I would add to the list, but I think I already covered y'know, wanting you to apologize for devoting all your time to trolling me lately.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': I mean every video that you've made, like y'know your videos might be 2 or 5 or 10 minutes long, and it probably takes quite a bit of time to upload the videos, y'know that's all time you could've spent making your comic which would've kept fans around. But instead, the average fan sees two artists; they see me who makes a good comic, and they see you who attempts to terrorize other artists.

''[pause]''

'''Chris''': I see. Okay well...

'''Alec''': Did I... Go ahead, what're you thinking about that.

'''Chris''': Go ahead.

'''Alec''': No no, I had another subject to bring up, but I'd like to have your response to this first.

'''Chris''': No that's alright, you said you had another topic? Another thing for my list?

'''Alec''': No I'd like to have your response to that first. What are you... do you really think it was a good idea for you to devote what little energy you did put into this whole comic thing in the first place to, um, attacking me? I mean why would you think that was a good idea?

'''Chris''': Well because you attacked me first by putting your ads on my website.

'''Alec''': Uh, that wasn't an attack, that was just a good business move.

'''Chris''': Well to me it was an attack.

'''Alec''': Well... it seems like to you everything is an attack. Seems like to you everything is ''[unintelligible; fast?]'' when it's not. ''[Speaking over Chris as he tries to interrupt]'' Um, Chris, do you think that it's okay for, um, for you to use Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog as characters in your story? And transformers and meg griffin... I mean, wouldn't their original creators get mad? That you're taking their characters?

'''Chris''': Well first off, we're talking about my own autobots, my own autobots, my own decepticons, with recoloring and different names, so they're not, so hasbro's not going to complain about that.

'''Alec''':You know that Hasbro owns the names "Autobot" and "Decepticon", right? Just using those names is already... taking from them. ''[Chris tries to interrupt]'' Even if- even if-- What's that?

'''Chris''': I said, nobody's complainin' to me yet.

'''Alec''': Well, that's probably 'cause you haven't made money on ''Sonichu'' yet. If you- I promise if you made one dime on ''Sonichu'', umm... Hasbro and Sega and Nintendo... will come down on your head. Because you just recolored their characters.

'''Chris''': Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Or if it's, like--

'''Alec''': Chris, you can't afford to wait 'till you get to that bridge, because you've spent ''ten years'' devoting your life to this comic, which ''will'' unravel the instant you try to make money off it. Get one dime, lose fifty-thousand dollars in lawsuits. You need to... do something about it now, before you waste any more time and effort on a franchise that is full of, of stolen material!.

'''Chris''': Well, I'll think about that further.

'''Alec''': Chris, I'm trying to help you here. I mean it- ''[Chris tries to interrupt]'' -How many, how many times tonight have you said, you know "Oh, I'll think about that, anything else?" like you, I think you ''are'' trying to rush this phone call. Chris, I have- you've gotta admit, I've got the patience of a saint, to... keep calling you, and, keep trying to be nice to you. And, it seems like you have no concern for anything I say. I mean, keep in mind, I am- ''[Chris tries to interrupt again, succeeds]''

'''Chris''': I am- [[Lies|I have paid attention to everything you said]].

'''Alec''': But, it seems like you don't want to take my advice!

'''Chris''': Well, I am going to take your advice here.

'''Alec''': You mean, you're going to restructure your comic completely and remove all elements of- you know, that belong to other creators? 'Cause that would pretty much take apart your entire comic. What are you going to do? What's your plan, what are you going to to, to... umm... follow that advice?

'''Chris''': The reboot will happen in book number twelve.

'''Alec''': Oh, well... umm... Well, you're still working on book ten, right? So, you'll have that, and then all of book eleven... [He trails off and Chris resumes]

'''Chris''': Yeah, book eleven will be like a clip show- which will unravel some of those plots... nnn.... whatnot. And uh, answer some questions, and then book twelve is, like, restarting with just Sonichu and Rosechu, and me not gettin' involved that much.

'''Alec''': Okay, well... umm... is Sonichu still going to be a product of Pikachu and Sonic? 'Cause that's a problem right there.

[Long Pause]

'''Chris''': I do not have an answer to that question... at the moment.

'''Alec''': Chris, I suggest that you, that you... instead of going through the rest of the episodes and issues, or, Issue ten and eleven; I suggest that you stop it all right now and come up with a completely different comic. Because that's the only way you're going to get away from lawsuits. You gotta answer this problem, because... you know, Nintendo and Sega, Hasbro and ''Family Guy''... they're not going to wait. They're not, and you- and you know that when I say that you need to do a reboot, umm, you know I mean that all of the Sonichu comics that currently exist- you can ''never'' attempt to get punished. Published, I mean.

[Long silence, then they try to talk in unison]

'''Chris''': Yeah, everything you said has been taken to heart... umm... mmm... yeah-

'''Alec''': I kind of doubt that. You're... you've got this kind of lackadaisical tone you're taking with me right now. [Sigh]. Chris- do you believe I'm trying to help you? [Chris tries to interrupt multiple times, loses] Do you care that I'm trying to help you?

'''Chris''': Yes, I care.

'''Alec''': Do you feel bad that you've treated me like shit, even though I've tried to help you countless times? [Long pause, Chris tries to talk, but Alec continues] You sound like an old child trying to get out of being lectured, which is why I keep asking this. Chris, I'd like you to make me- I'd like you to make me believe that you actually are listening and believe everything I say, and when I say "Listen", I don't mean, "You wrote down the list I asked you to and can repeat the words back to me", that's not what "Listening" means. "Listen" means: You are actually considering what I say.

'''Chris''': Well I am actually considering what you are saying.

'''Alec''': Prove it to me Chris.

'''Chris''': Okay... how do I prove it to you?

'''Alec''': Show some... ''[Chris tries to interrupt, but it is garbled]'' show some concern. I mean.... say something other than 'I will take it into consideration'. That's the same thing you say to your fans every time they suggest ideas to you in the mailbag. I don't think you do take anything I say into consideration. You know what... [sighs] my first few calls with you, I was like nice like this, and you were insulting to me. And then the next few times I tried to call you, I got mean and loud and yelled a lot, and then it seemed like you actually listened. And now I'm trying to be nice again because I didn't want to... I don't like being mean to people, y'know, and now it seems like you've stopped listening again. I think... I was hoping for the best, but I think I may have been right, I may have hit the nail on the head when I said that you seem to only listen to yelling and insults.

'''Chris''': Well that is not true. I do not listen to only yelling and insults.

'''Alec''': Y'know, I think you do. Because... y'know, people, I think a big problem a lot of people have is that they believe the way they behave is the way that everybody behaves, and the world they follow is the world everyone follows, and I think that because you rely on bullying and trolling and insulting and trying to make other people feel bad just to make yourself feel good... Because you practice all of those, I think that you believe that's the only set of rules that applies in the world.

'''Chris''': Well that is not the case.

'''Alec''': You sound so convincing there, you really do.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Yeah... ''[laughs, then sighs]'' y'know... you seem to really care about what Mao says, and all Mao does is insult you. Did I tell you that to get rid of Simonla, I don't remember if I brought this up...

'''Chris''': [interrupting] Yeah, yes you did.

'''Alec''': Evan wants you to violently kill her in the comic? And display it, don't show it off screen or off panel, you have to show it in the comic, like show her head getting chopped off, or show her getting shot full of bullets, something like that.

'''Chris''': I will not kill her, but she will leave CWCville peacefully.

'''Alec''': Um, you have to kill her. You have to kill...

'''Chris''': ''[Interrupting]'' I am not going... I am not going to kill her. I will let her leave...

'''Alec''': ''[Talking over Chris]'' Chris... no that's one of my terms. It's not like Poochie from the Simpsons where you can just take his frame out... Chris, you violently kill her, or Evan might come down on you and the CWCipedia. And I know you already got the CWCipedia shut down once when you tried to manipulate the ads. If you don't respect this now, it's gonna get shut down again, because Evan is going to come down on you. And he would've come down on you a long time ago, except I was trying to be the voice of peace and was holding his anger in check. And I'm not gonna do that now. Now I've learned my lesson, now I'm just telling you the terms. You either follow them, or face Evan's anger.

'''Chris''': Alright...

'''Alec''': So you're going to violently kill Simonla, right? And show it?

'''Chris''': That will happen, yes.

'''Alec''': Okay. Um, I suggest fire. I think that's always a good way to go to deal with characters that you want to get rid of. It's just, it's very visually, y'know, draws people in. Everybody loves fire. Sometimes I light people on fire in my comic, and every time I do, I get ALL this fanmail, just praising that one panel or that one page.

'''Chris''': Yeah.. well, I will think of tha- I will think of something. I will think about it. Alright...

'''Alec''': Can I have you one more time read off your list to me?

'''Chris''': Okay... ''[sighs]''. Admit Alec has sizable fanbase...

'''Alec''': Let's actually change that to 'admit Alec has a greater fanbase than you.' Let's just, because we should be specific.

'''Chris''': ...greater fanbase.

'''Alec''': Yup, bigger fanbase...

'''Chris''': That Chris can't...greater... said that, alright, anyway, that, address permission of Sonichu use, but then it was withdrawn, and uh, admit Simonla was not mine, uh, admit amending Simonla article, uh remove Simonla by death, apologize to you for calling you naïve, apologize to Mao with a forgiveness blessing to undo the curse, apologize for ''[unintelligible]'' asperchu and parodic characters, make a comic page explaining all that, I just apologize to you for impersonating to be my mother to get out of the last phone call, apologize for insinuating female impri-impri-imprisonment and rape on you, admit to having no excuse for not updating on... uh, as often as I should, and apologize to my fans for disrespecting them in mailbags and delayed updates.

'''Alec''': Uhm and, when you make this video, make sure that you're wearing your Sonichu medallion and your high school ring so everyone knows it's true, and I don't wanna see any of that Groucho Marx glasses bullshit. Because you've done that before. This video, I don't want any way for you to weasel out of this video.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': This video will stand for all time.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': And, oh and, one last thing. I'd like you to admit that Sonichu is a doomed franchise and you have no way of actually profiting from it or publishing it without getting sued six ways from Sunday by the real owners of the products you use.

'''Chris''': ''[meekly]''...um, yeah.

'''Alec''': That's the final thing for the list.

'''Chris''': Yeah.

'''Alec''': Uhm, okay, so and... so it sounds like you've got the list comprehensive, which is good, I'm glad you've got that written down. And I just wanna emphasize again that you will do all of those items, both in a video and in your comic, and if you do it all perfectly, exactly the way I've laid out for you, and I don't sense you're trying to weasel out of anything or trying to pull a fast one on me, I will remove all my ads. I will release my contract with Jack. But if you do try to pull anything, then the ads are going to get worse. Because despite the fact that I am trying to be calm with you, I am still very angry with you, and if you try to pull anything on me, then I am going to punish you for it.

'''Chris''': Okay, alright, okay, okay well, I'll do all that, and I'll talk to you later.

'''Alec''': Alright. Well I look forward to seeing the ad and the comic.

'''Chris''': Okay.

'''Alec''': Alright, you have a good night Chris.

'''Chris''': And you too.

''[Tape ends]''

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|Chris and Alec Call 5]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|Chris and Alec Call 7]]|}}

==External Links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBPdXXFnvzU The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5

2010-04-18T19:19:28Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5''' is the fifth of the phone calls between Alec and Chris, which took place on 02 February 2010.

==Summary==

This call comes after Chris's [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|first apology video]], the making of which Alec and Chris discussed in their previous phone call. Alec is obviously annoyed with [[Chris]] to the point of berating him like he's a child, which becomes a recurring theme in their subsequent conversations. Alec calls Chris a [[troll]] and a bully and is upset that he decided to [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|curse Mao]]. He is also upset that the apology video was missing key elements which Alec requested as well as containing subjects such as belittling Alec's fanbase as well as not apologizing to [[Evan]] in the comic.

Eventually, Chris steals a page from [[Wikipedia:Norman Bates|Norman Bates]] as he tries to impersonate [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] in order to get off the phone with Alec. Note that pretending to be a woman doesn't require him to change the pitch of his voice.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|043M89cXAlU}}
| Stardate = 02 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''Alec''': It's Alec. How are you?

 '''Chris''': Hey Alec. I'm doing okay, how are you?

 '''Alec''': I'm good, I'm good. Yeah... So, uh... I saw your apology video.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, um... You were... I'm glad that uh, you know you got some things there but you're missing a couple of things from the video.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... I missed a couple of things...

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, yeah... A few things actually. Um, you know I asked you to apologize for the word 'naive'. You didn't do that. 

 '''Chris''': Oh, okay.

 '''Alec''': 'Cause, you know...

 '''Chris''': My bad.

 '''Alec''': Yep, yeah, it is your bad. 'Cause that word is such a huge deal to you I wanted you to mention that specifically. Pretty sure I said that.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Another thing you said, you said my, "quote unquote fanmail", which, I didn't like that. It was like you were suggesting that I don't actually have real fans. That's... that's not nice, Chris.

 '''Chris''': [''pause''] Well, I did not mean that.

 '''Alec''': Well, why'd you say it?

[''After long pause, both interrupt each other'']

 '''Alec''': I don't really like going through this, y'know, night after night, Chris. I mean it... I shouldn't have to tell these things over and over. You know. You tell a kid things over and over

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': An adult-A man should, y'know, listen once and know what to do.

 '''Chris''': Yep.

 '''Alec''': Um... Let's see, what else. Well apparently you... You made a video right before I talked to you cursing Mao. That wasn't good either, Chris. I mean I-I don't think I specifically mentioned Mao when I talked to you but I think you should have been able to infer that I don't want you cursing him either.

 '''Chris''': I see.

 '''Alec''': You know, I used-I used to-

 '''Chris''': But he put-he put-he put up a bunch of dicks on my CWCipedia yesterday!

 '''Alec''': I used to think that Mao was being too mean with you. I used to kinda sympathize with you about how Mao was being mean to you, but then I realized that, uh, you're a bully and you don't respond to anything except, uh, you know, mean things like that. Now, I kind of think Mao had the right idea. 'Cause I was trying to be nice to you and all you did was insult me.

 '''Chris''': No, you misunderstand me. I am not a bully.

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh you're not? Death threats, that's not-

 '''Chris''': I am not a bully!

 '''Alec''': Oh, oh no, no, of course not. Hacking into my computer, breaking into my house... Bullies don't do that, do they? ''[Chris tries to get in a word edgewise, but fails]'' I guess technically that's true, bullies don't do that, hardened criminals do things like that. Which is, you know, worse than a bully. You are a troll, though. That's for certain.

 '''Chris''': I am not a troll!

 '''Alec''': Oh, bullshit. Bullshit.

 '''Chris''': Although I did... Although I will apologize...

 '''Alec''': Ever since Asperchu appeared you've being doing nothing but trying to shut me down. Just like the trolls that try to shut you down.

 '''Chris''': ''[Mumbles something]''

 '''Alec''': But you know, but the great Christian Weston Chandler, he's perfect, you know. Nobody can... Can attack him or parody him, but if someone else does something that he doesn't like, doesn't matter if it has nothing to do with him... There's gonna be hell to pay. You wanna hack my website, hack my X-Box account, steal some dating game I don't even have... I don't need, you know, dating sims by the way... And destroy my console. That's not the work of a bully or a troll at all, is it?

 '''Chris''': I-I said that the idea was in my head, I never said I would actually to do it.

 '''Alec''': Your idea was in your comic, you put it out there for everyone to read. It-it wasn't just in your head. And hey, I thought, I thought that, uh, comics were real. Comics are just as real as real people, right? So, if you draw it on paper, then it must be the same thing as wanting to actually act on it in real life, right? Isn't that how that works? You made all of your characters slander me.

 '''Chris''': Uh, excuse me a moment. Yes? [''Chris walks away from the phone and does a horrible impression of his mother''] Hey! Hey Christian, listen. I need you to go clean up kitty's poo in the kitchen. Oh, okay mom, I'll take care of it. And let the kitty out, would ya? Sure, I'll be right out there. [''Chris comes back to the phone''] Uh, yeah, my mom's telling me I've gotta go clean up kitty's poo, I've gotta go, so uh... Is there a number I can call you back at? So I can talk to you later?

 '''Alec''': Um, I really don't want to give you a number 'cause you troll me on the internet already, you'll probably troll me on the phone if I gave you my contact number. You know what? You know, you go ahead... Y-you go ahead, I know, I know letting the cat out is probably gonna be hard work and is gonna make you want to sleep 'cause I know your biological clock is, is you know, is all whacked out from all your stress. 'Cause I know it's stressful, uh, trolling me... So.

 '''Chris''': I'm not trolling you. But anyway. Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Oh... The hell...

 '''Chris''': But anyway. Other questions that you have you send them to my e-mail...

 '''Alec''': Okay, well, Chris? I-I wanna let you know that, um, that your apology video was not satisfactory, and you haven't even apologized to Evan at all in your comic like I asked you to. So you go ahead and go, and I'll talk to you later. I'll call you when you don't-

 '''Chris''': Well yeah, but by the way-by the way I unblocked your e-mail, so you can send-send your own-send your thoughts in typing as well.

 '''Alec''': Oh. I'll... Well, you know... Such a gracious, uh-

 '''Chris''': Nevermind, I'll-

 '''Alec''': Such a- such a gracious... Allowance that you made there.

[''-Tape Ends-'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|Chris and Alec Call 4]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 6|Chris and Alec Call 6]]|}}

==External Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?tnyjwhinyym Full Audio of the Call]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=043M89cXAlU The Call on Youtube]
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4

2010-04-18T19:12:12Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4''' is the fourth of the seven leaked phone calls between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, creator of [[Asperchu]]. It took place on 01 February 2010. In this conversation, they mainly discuss the apology video that Alec required of Chris as a condition for removing [[Asperpedia]]'s advertisements from the front page of the [[CWCipedia]].

==Summary==

Chris's attitude throughout the conversation is that of a small child being disciplined. He clearly feels no remorse for the various insults and death threats he's thrown at Alec and his associates, and he seems to barely even understand why [[Evan]] wants him to stop abusing his [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]] character. He also apparently thinks that everyone should automatically believe his "[[Lie|retraction]]" of the truth about [[Simonla Rosechu]]'s origins.

Alec attempts to explain the concepts of parody and plagiarism to Chris through a simple object lesson, but it's obvious that nothing sinks in. Chris doesn't seem to have any grasp of the issue beyond believing that he should be able to do what he wants, while others should do what he wants them to.

Towards the end of the call, Chris takes off on a tangent, demanding that Alec make some sort of concession as far as his parodies of Chris's characters in the Asperchu comics. Alec cuts him off short, however, refusing to agree to anything until Chris delivers his apology.

Said apology would take the form of the video Chris released on [[Apologies_to_Alec_and_Evan|1 February 2010]], where he hit some, but not all of the points Alec asked him to. There, Chris showed about as much remorse as he does here, which is to say none at all.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|18pBOGTVDYo}}
| Stardate = 01 February 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

[''We join the conversation in progress.'']

 '''Chris''': ...that at him. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, well, you guess...guess what, Chris. Those ads aren't going anywhere until you answer a few questions of mine. 'Cause I'm sick of being nice to you. 
 '''Chris''': What are you... 
 '''Alec''': I've been nice... 
 '''Chris''': Well, what are your questions? 
 '''Alec''': I've been nice to you for too long. Well, first of all, your apology video. Completely unsatisfactory. You didn't mention anything of what you were apologizing for. You just said, "Oh, I'm apologizing for some of the things I said." Is that supposed to include the death threats, Chris? 'Cause you should probably mention that specifically. 
 '''Chris''': Yes, it did include the past death threats. 
 '''Alec''': Okay, well, I think you should make a better apology video, and in your second apology video... 
 '''Chris''': Okay. 
 '''Alec''': ...I want you to, um, not spend 80 percent of the video making demands of me. 'Cause, see, an apology video should be just that. It should be apologizing for when you did something wrong. Do you think you've done something wrong to me, Chris? Do you think you have? I think you have. 
 '''Chris''': Do I think I have, do I think I have done anything wrong to you? 
 '''Alec''': Yes. Do you think that? 
 '''Chris''': Why yes I, yes, I admit that I have done wrong to you, Alec. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. 
 '''Chris''': By mis-, by mislabelings and, and mistakes and errors, and I apologize for that. 
 '''Alec''': Mislabelings. Kinda like what a troll would do. Isn't that right? Why don't you list all the things you did wrong? List them specifically. 'Cause, 'cause I want to make sure. You know, I don't want to just tell you to make a more specific video if you don't know specifically. So please list the things you think you did wrong to me. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, I will. [''pause''] 
 '''Alec''': I'm waiting. 
 '''Chris''': Do you mean... 
 '''Alec''': I mean list now, I'd like to hear you say now. 
 '''Chris''': Alright Alec, I'm sorry for mislabeling you, and giving you your, giving you death threats. 
 '''Alec''': What did you mislabel me as, Chris? 
 '''Chris''': [''sighs, his tone becomes exasperated''] Mislabeling, mislabeling you as a villain type of person. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, that was pretty bad of you, wasn't it? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. [''pause''] 
 '''Alec''': Okay, continue. 
 '''Chris''': Alright. Anything else? 
 '''Alec''': I'm asking you, I'm asking you to continue with the list. 
 '''Chris''': Oh. [''Chris pauses, sighs heavily, then begins to mutter under his breath.''] Uh, let's see, death threats, mislabeling, calling you, making you out like a villain... 
 '''Alec''': How about, uh...here's a hint. Uhm, is there, is there anyone close to me? A friend, perhaps, that maybe you've mislabeled as well? That you've done wrong against? Can you think of any? 
 '''Chris''': Let me guess, Evan? 
 '''Alec''': You got it right, you got it right. You have wronged Evan. Do you know how you have wronged Evan? 
 '''Chris''': [''sigh, long pause''] For labeling him as... 
 '''Alec''': Not that hard. 
 '''Chris''': ...the origin point for Simonla 
 '''Alec''': Um, no, actually. Actually, that was the correct thing. That was the one correct thing you did, was labeling him as the origin point of Simonla, 'cause that's what he was. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. 
 '''Alec''': What's the wrong thing you did to him? 
 '''Chris''': Hm... I yelled at him too! Then you made that... 
 '''Alec''': [''talking over Chris''] Uh, there's a, there's a bigger issue. You stole, you stole Simonchu from him. There, I gave that one to you. And you won't give his character back. What do you think of that? 
 '''Chris''': He can have, he can have his Simonchu! 
 '''Alec''': Simonla. Simonla ''is'' Simonchu. You just, you just took his Simonchu and twisted it around. 
 '''Chris''': No I did not. Simonla is not Simonchu. 
 '''Alec''': That's what your Simonchu article on your CWCipedia says. Says Simonla is based off Simonchu. 
 '''Chris''': Well, I don't know... 
 '''Alec''': [''talking over Chris again''] You know, Chris, I find this... Chris. I told you last time. It doesn't matter if you go changing the article now. That doesn't change what was in the past. You cannot write a new article in the present and change what happened in the past. You used Simonchu as is the basis of Simonla. 
 '''Chris''': Yes I can, I can call a retraction to that. Yes I can, I called a retraction! 
 '''Alec''': Simonla is based off Simonchu. Doesn't matter. Okay, Chris, let me, let me think of an example for you. Let's say that I take [[Family Guy]] and, you know Peter Griffin on Family Guy? Let's say that I make a comic and I just use Peter Griffin as my main character in my comic. And I do that for a few years. And then Seth McFarlane comes knockin' on my door and says, "Hey, you didn't ask for permission to use Peter Griffin." Do you think it's okay for me to just right then change it and say, "Oh, okay, I'm just gonna pretend like I never based my Peter Griffin off of Family Guy." Do you think that would solve the problem? You can't retract a fact! 
 '''Chris''': I guess... Hm. 
 '''Alec''': Does that make sense? I find it, I think, personally, I am most offended by your accusations of me stealing your Sonichu, and of Asperchu being a theft of you and all of that, when all along you have been stealing Simonchu from someone else. Why is plagiarism okay for you, if it's not okay for anyone else? Why is "[[parody]]"... 
 '''Chris''': Sorry, I'm not, I'm just... 
 '''Alec''': Okay, Chris, why is "parody" and plagiarism, why are those concepts okay for you to do, but they're not okay for anyone else to do? Will you tell me that? 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Hmm. Okay, I guess I cannot think of a good answer for that. 
 '''Alec''': Yeah. That's because there really isn't one. You understand that, right? The same rules have to apply to everyone. You don't get different rules than other artists. You need to atone for your mistakes. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah... 
 '''Alec''': I want you to, one of these things I want you to do before I take, have Mao take down the ads. I want you to, in your comic, issue a full apology to Evan, and admit that Simonla and Simonchu are not your characters, and you used them wrongfully, without his permission, and you are going to retire them. Not really that hard to do. I mean, Simonla hasn't even appeared in your comic recently, so it's not like you're, you're gonna hurt your plotline if you just issue an admission that you're not gonna use her anymore. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. Well, I'll think about that. 
 '''Alec''': Not good enough. My ads aren't going down unless you say yes to that. That's one of my conditions. I have several. Because I've got several problems with you. 
 '''Chris''': Yep. Anyway, yeah, I will think about that. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Another problem, I want you to apologize to me for calling me [[naïve]]. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, I will try... 
 '''Alec''': You remember when I tried to talk to you about that? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I'm sorry for calling you... 
 '''Alec''': You remember when I tried to talk to you about that, when you hung up on me? Because you think "naïve" is such a horrible insult... 
 '''Chris''': Okay, I'm sorry I called you naïve. 
 '''Alec''': Do you believe I am naïve? 
 '''Chris''': ...I'm sorry for calling you naïve. No, I do not believe you are naïve. 
 '''Alec''': Well, good. You know, I don't think "naïve" is that bad of a word, but what means the most is that you think it's a bad thing, and you still used it. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': You meant it to be a horrible insult, that's the problem here. I want you to put that in your new apology video for me. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. 
 '''Alec''': You might want to get a pen and paper and just write these things down, because there's a few points here. I don't want you to forget any of them. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I owe you an, I'm going to... 
 '''Alec''': You can't just apologize to me over the phone, you have... 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, I'm writing it down. 
 '''Alec''': Okay. Are you writing it down now? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': What are the main things that I want you to do? List them off to me, just so I know that you're with me so far. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, I'm apologizing for giving you death, for cursing you, giving you death threats, calling you naïve... 
 '''Alec''': Mm-hm. What else are you going to do for me? 
 '''Chris''': [''angry short sigh''] Labeling your comics as plagiaration of my Sonichu character and myself. And apologizing to Evan. 
 '''Alec''': You're going to admit that Asperchu is original? 
 '''Chris''': I'll admit Asperchu is your original character. 
 '''Alec''': And what else about Evan? You're going to apologize to him, but what else are you going to do for him? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah...yeah, I'm going to apologize to him, and he can have his Simonchu. 
 '''Alec''': Yes, he can have it, but what are you going to do? You're going to admit publicly that Simonchu is not yours to use, and you were wrong to do it. Right? 
 '''Chris''': Right. Simonchu is not mine. 
 '''Alec''': You're gonna put that in the video, and I also want you to put that in the comic. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. 
 '''Alec''': Good. I'm glad. We're getting somewhere, Chris. I'm glad about this. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. 
 '''Alec''': It feels like you're finally starting to listen to me a little bit, because you haven't been listening to me. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': You know, I thought about what you said. About how Asperchu wouldn't like to be named Asperchu. I thought that I might write it into my comic, I might have Asperchu say that he likes his name. That would probably clear that problem up, don't you think? 
 '''Chris''': Uh... I guess so. 
 '''Alec''': Because I don't... Does that make sense to you? 'Cause I don't know if I believe this "comic characters are real" thing, but in case they are, you know, that's a good way to go, wouldn't you agree? 
 '''Chris''': Fairly. 
 '''Alec''': Fairly? Makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, if Asperchu says, out loud, he likes his name, then there's no way he could be lying. 
 '''Chris''': Hmm. 
 '''Alec''': I mean, you're always filling in Sonichu's speech bubbles, so whatever Sonichu says must be correct, right? Sonichu says he likes something, then he likes something. So if Asperchu says, in my comic, that he likes his name, then he likes his name. 
 '''Chris''': Okay, then. 
 '''Alec''': Wouldn't you agree? 
 '''Chris''': I thought, yeh, yeah, as long as, yeah, okay, well, just don't make any references of, you know, of my city of CWCville, or saying that my, my original Sonichu is related to Asperchu. Just, you know... [''sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': Um, well, like we talked about... 
 '''Chris''': You know, okay, this is like, you know, say, like, you know... Yeah. I'm just saying that they're not the original characters and just... 
 '''Alec''': Like we talked about before, well, you already admitted that, you already stated that the Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo and everything else that appears in my comic are just copies or not connected to you. So it really doesn't matter what I do with my Sonichu and my CWCville and all that, does it? 
 '''Chris''': No. 
 '''Alec''': 'Cause they're different that yours. 
 '''Chris''': Your CWCville is mine and the Chaotic Combo is mine. They're, they originally were mine. 
 '''Alec''': You said the ones that I'm using is different, though. That's the one that you tried to steal from me, remember? 
 '''Chris''': [''heavy sigh''] 
 '''Alec''': You should probably also add this to your list, actually, you should probably apologize for stealing things from me, all the while you're trying to fight me stealing things from you. I think that's a good thing to add to your apology list. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, okay, well, just do me a favor for, okay, before the re-creation of Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in your book, just, just establish that they're not the ones from CWCville, they're just from another, they're from... 
 '''Alec''': I'm not gonna consider doing a damn thing for you until I see this apology video and I'm satisfied with it. 
 '''Chris''': Alright, you will see the apology video. 
 '''Alec''': Because I know you've weaseled out of apologies before. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. 
 '''Alec''': If I'm not satisfied with the apology video, I'm gonna call you back and tell you that you need to do it again. So you might as well do it correct. Exactly correct the first time around. 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. Okay. I get it. 
 '''Alec''': Does that sound fair to you? 
 '''Chris''': Yeah. I'll get to work on that, and, uh, I'll have it up late tonight. 
 '''Alec''': Tonight, tomorrow, whenever you want. It's your schedule. 
 '''Chris''': Okay. Alright, I gotta go now. You take care, bye-bye.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 5|Chris and Alec Call 5]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?iujwkijilam The original audio]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pBOGTVDYo The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3

2010-04-18T19:09:22Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3''' is the third of the calls between [[Chris]] and Alec Benson Leary, which took place on 30 January 2010.

==Summary==

In this conversation, Alec and Chris touch on several topics. They cover one of Chris's earlier attempts to apologize on video, the disposition of Chris's ripped-off character [[Simonla]], Chris's attacks on Alec in the [[Mailbag]] and elsewhere, and the slack-tastic schedule Chris favors as far as updating his comic.

At this point in their dispute, Chris seems to believe he still has cards to play as far as negotiating with Alec, [[Evan]], and the rest of the [[Asperpedia]] crew for the removal of the ads they placed on the [[CWCipedia]]. He is adamant in his refusal to do away with Simonla despite Evan's demands, and he believes that by updating her page on the CWCipedia he will be able to wipe the truth about her origins from history.

When Alec turns to discussing Chris's attacks on him, Chris quickly shifts into his standard woe-is-me mode, whining about the trolls and the ED page and so forth. Alec observes that Chris has used the CWCipedia to attack him in the same way that Chris's detractors have used ED, a cogent point that flies several miles over Chris's head.

The call concludes after more whining from Chris about his [[biological clock]]. Chris claims to be expecting another caller and hangs up. Later speculation centered around [[The Wallflower]] as the mystery caller.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|2XaH3RRyXZ0}}
| Stardate = 30 January 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''Alec''': Hey uh Chris, it's Alec... How are you doin'?

 '''Chris''': Oh, hi, Alec. Umm, yeah, I'm doing okay. Umm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, listen, [[Lie|I'm expecting a call in a couple, in a couple of minutes,]] so...uh... Okay, well, what's, what else is on your mind?

 '''Alec''': Well, I saw you made an apology video.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': So, uh, thank you for that. Um... You know, I'm a little concerned that maybe you didn't cover all the points that, that we, that I talked to you about. I think, uh... Well, you know, you did apologize, but I'm not really sure the people are going to understand what you, you were apologizing for. 'Cause you mentioned just like... You said, "I apologize for some of the things I said." [''pause''] You know what I mean?

 '''Chris''': Indeed. Well, I'll make it more specific in the...

 '''Alec''': I'd appreciate that.

 '''Chris''': ...in the videos that go along with this video. Okay. I'll take that, I'll take that, [''unintelligible tard-speak''], I'll take that tomorrow.

 '''Alec''': Well, I'd appreciate that. Um, I also do think that, like we were talking about Evan yesterday, I think it would be a good idea to mention him specifically in the apology video. Um, just about...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Okay, but, okay, but... Okay. But '''Simonla stays'''.

 '''Alec''': Well, um... You know, that's between you and Evan, but as far as I know, he's, he's not going to be happy with that.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well I'm just say, yeah, well I'm just... You can relay that to him.

 '''Alec''': Alright, I can let him know, but, like I said, I think you should, you should really hammer that out with him. [''pause''] 'Cause you know, like I said, it is on the CWCki there that you did get Simonla as a, as a direct, you know, inspiration from Simonchu.

 '''Chris''': Right. 

 '''Alec''': Yeah.

 '''Chris''': I'll fix that tomorrow as well.

 '''Alec''': Well, um, like I said, Chris, you cant really go back and change history. What's there is there. [''long pause''] You know what I mean? I understand you said that it was, that you were, you were making fun of Evan with that, but, I mean, you wrote it as if it was true...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] I was, I never, I never... Actually, I never was making fun of anybody with that.

 '''Alec''': Well, I thought you said yesterday that, uh, you meant it as a mockery of Evan.

 '''Chris''': No, I did not.

 '''Alec''': You did not?

 '''Chris''': Yes. I did not.

 '''Alec''': Okay. So why, then, does the Simonla article say that it was inspired by Evan's work?

 '''Chris''': [''long pause''] Well that does need to be corrected, and I will correct it. Tomorrow.

 '''Alec''': Okay, I'm just .. I'm asking, why was it there in the first place, though? [''long pause''] You know what I mean? 'Cause this has just caused a huge hubbub, and it's just, it kinda sucks.

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts again''] Yes, well, anyway, it will be, it will be corrected.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that you used Simonchu as inspiration. I'm just trying to warn you, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Alright.

 '''Alec''': You know, you've been... You know... I'd like kinda to talk about me a little bit. I think I've been talking to you about your issues quite enough, honestly. If you don't mind I'd like to bring up, ah... [''pauses to shift gears''] You know, I'm a little angry with you, Chris. For, for a number of reasons. Um, you've been calling me naive quite a bit, you know, in our past couple of conversations, and as I understand, you, you consider that to be, you know, one of the worst insults that a person can call someone. Yet you use it on me [''Chris tries to break in.''] repeatedly.

 '''Chris''': It is my least fav-, it is my least favorite word of all time.

 '''Alec''': Well, why did you feel it was appropriate to use it, uh, on me? I don't consider myself...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Because you not, because you not, because you do not have as much experiences as I have had. You have not been deceived by trolls. You do not have an, a page that slanders against your good name turning ya into '''a mockery!''' You've never been, you've never had...

 '''Alec''': Really? It seems to me that the CWCipedia itself is turning into a page to slander me. What do you have to say about that?

 '''Chris''': I'm sorry, I did not understand that last statement.

 '''Alec''': It seems that the CWCipedia itself is turning into a website to mock and derail me. You know, I saw your Mailbag 50 that you uploaded, um, which was, you know, an ideal Mailbag in your eyes, you know? What you want questions to be about. And as far as I can tell, the entire purpose of that Mailbag was just to talk about how much I suck and how much better you are than me. Is that really what you want your Mailbags to be?

 '''Chris''': Part of the way. Part of the way, but those questions are actually real. And they have come from a Sonichu fan forum, of those that are still loyal to me. And they actually think that way.

 '''Alec''': Alright, but it's not totally representative of all your letters when you only have letters talking about how bad my comic is.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but you see, see for one thing you don't go off the topic with issues like homo-, like homosettsuality, or mislabeling me as a homosettsual.

 '''Alec''': How can you go off-topic, really? Because people are just asking you general questions. There really wasn't a topic to begin with. People ask you questions about subjects maybe that are a little unpleasant to you, but that's just 'cause they wanna know things.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but on those points I cannot really answer those questions, now can I?

 '''Alec''': Well, I don't know. I mean, why can't you answer those kind of questions?

 '''Chris''': Because they are, because they were complicated to me and I could not really comprehend them fully to come up with a sound answer.

 '''Alec''': Um... [''deep breath''] Okay, well, could you give me an example of a question that's a little too complex? I'm just curious.

 '''Chris''': Hmm. Taking the one of the letters that I had deleted or moved to the reject section. Read that to, read that to...

 '''Alec''': [''interrupts''] I can't really look at the letters that you deleted. But I can look at the rejected ones, I suppose.

 '''Chris''': Actually you can, you just have to go up to the history tab for that Mailbag. For one Mailbag out of all those Mailbags.

 '''Alec''': That's a little inconvenient, ya know?

 '''Chris''': It becomes obvious. You know, anytime before I answered and edited it.

 '''Alec''': Like, uh... Well, I can just come up with a general topic, I guess, as an example. People have been asking you, uh... I don't know... About Rosechu for example. That whole gender nonsense about, you know, about the Raichu being a male and things like that. And I know you said that...

 '''Chris''': The Raichu was actually ''female''!

 '''Alec''': Well, I take your word for it. I don't wanna get into that, because we did, you know, draw that out last time. So.

 '''Chris''': Okay.

 '''Alec''': You know, I think that you seem to get stressed out when people tell how much they like my comic. Now, if I were in your shoes, I would take that as a compliment, because my comic was inspired by your work. But you seem to think it's a bad thing that people like me at all. You seem to want people to hate me.

 '''Chris''': Well, yeah, that's another, that's another thing. They confuse, they confuse your character, Asperchu, they're saying that it's my character when I have to tell them that it's not. That character is your character.

 '''Alec''': Well, I don't want to people to think that. I understand that, definitely. I've been telling people, you know, Asperchu is original and he's not related to you or Sonichu in any way. So, we can't reach everybody but we're definitely trying.

 '''Chris''': Alright.

 '''Alec''': The people keep... People still to this day write me and think Asperchu is a parody of you and that's just not the case. So I do understand your annoyance with that subject. 'Cause I do kinda...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Yeah. Okay, well, listen, okay, anyway, listen, I gotta go, I'm accepting a call. So I'll talk to you another time.

 '''Alec''': Alright. Uh, I do have one quick question. You know, when I talk to you, you usually want me to call you right about 9:30, is that right? But usually I try to call you then and you don't answer. Is that still a good time to talk to you?

 '''Chris''': Yes, unless I'm updating the CWCipedia. Which in that case I cannot get to my phone. Last night. And last night actually, I actually was updating the CWCipedia.

 '''Alec''': Uh... [''sigh''] Alright. Well, I've tried to call you several nights before then as well and got no answer. I know you weren't uploading... [Chris attempts to interrupt] I know you weren't uploading pages.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Okay, well, anyway, I actually was uploading pages last night.

 '''Alec''': Well, last night, not the previous several nights.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but it was still two pages a day, three days, there you guy.

 '''Alec''': I still gotta recommend that you try for consistency over just bulk quantity, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, my biological, yeah, so my biological clock has been changing, it's making me go to bed earlier.

 '''Alec''': Why is it?

 '''Chris''': I had to reschedule...

 '''Alec''': Why is it changing? Do you have, is there some big change in your schedule? Have you started a job or anything? Because sometimes that does it.

 '''Chris''': [''suddenly high-pitched and whiny''] I have been, I have been crashing earlier. I usually would stay up 'til, I used to stay up 'til about four o'clock, now it's like I'm crashing before midnight.

 '''Alec''': Well, that's still pretty late. I mean, I usually go to bed at, like, eleven, and I still get pages uploaded.

 '''Chris''': Anyway, I gotta go, I'll talk to you another time.

[''Tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Alec Call 2]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|Chris and Alec Call 4]]|}}

==External Links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XaH3RRyXZ0 The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2

2010-04-18T19:07:36Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2''' is the second of the calls between Chris and Alec Benson Leary, which took place on 28 January 2010.

==Summary==
[[Image:DeadpoolYellowBoxes.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
Alec lets Chris ramble on about the ads on the [[CWCipedia]] again before the topic changes to subjects that make Chris feel uncomfortable in his [[Mailbag]]. On the subject of Rosechu's gender and pointed tail, Chris attempts to get Alec to believe he meant for the original Raichu's tail to be dull all along and becomes angry when Alec points out that he is lying.

Chris goes on to discuss how he feels that [[Asperchu]] is a [[Chris and reality|living, breathing creature in another universe with thoughts and feelings who wouldn't want to be named Asperchu.]] Alec claims that Asperchu is unable to have a desire to be named something else because Asperchu doesn't exist, and Chris responds by repeatedly calling him "[[naïve]]" for not believing in a cartoon world similar to what's seen in the movie ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit''.

They both agree to disagree, then move on to the lack of updates in [[Sonichu]]. Chris blames his [[biological clock]] for his inability to upload new pages and explains how the creative process of his work requires a pain-staking 30 minutes of typing dialogue. Chris admits to using Photoshop, but says that since his comics are hand-drawn and hand-colored, in his opinion (and also his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]'s, apparently) that Sonichu is the superior comic of the two. Alec points out that he draws his comics by hand, even if it's with a tablet, and that his art shouldn't and doesn't have any less "personality" than Chris's shit work.

Chris returns to complaining about the CWCipedia adspace, hinting that the only real reason he's negotiating with Alec at all is to get the Asperpedia ads removed. Alec brings up [[Fan:Simonchu|Simonchu]], and Chris denies [[Simonla]] was ever inspired by Simonchu. When Alec explains that Evan wants Simonchu and Simonla written out of the comic, and that Evan may consider taking legal action, Chris replies with "I'll think about it". Unsurprisingly, Evan did take [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Closed (For Good) Due To Theft|legal action]].
{{Clear}}

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|LGB99JTZJes}}
| Stardate = 28 January 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3]]
}} </center>

[[Image:comparison.jpg|thumb|He might have a point here]]
===Transcript===

 '''Chris''': Hello?

 '''Alec''': Hi, is this uh, is this Chris?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, this is Christian Chandler, may I help you?

 '''Alec''': Hey Chris, this is Alec Benson Leary again, how are you?

 '''Chris''': Oh! I would have expected you to call at 9:30, uh, but anyway...

 '''Alec''': Oh! I actually did try to call at 9:30, didn't get an answer so I thought I'd try again, you-you're quite a difficult man to get a hold of, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... Yeah, I can talk for a few minutes, so let's try not to belabor this conversation.

 '''Alec''': Not at all, I don't..I don't wanna drag anything out. Um, well first I'll ask you if you have anything, uh, specific that you want to bring up, cause I know that you had to go kinda abruptly last time, and I thought maybe that there was a point you didn't get to or anything.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Okay... Wanna go ahead with that?

 '''Chris''': Umm... well first off, you know...you know I have, um...I have gone to the CWCipedia recently, its the Ads are still super-sized, but, they are more of a mockery towards me now, and I do not appreciate that.

 '''Alec''': Yeeeaaah, I'm sorry about that, Mao is kinda, he got a little bit of a temper, you know, h-he-he is kinda mad about this whole... the mailbag situation, emails getting deleted and all that sort of thing. You know, I-I-I um, I saw in, uh, one of your mailbags, that you said that I delete, or uh, modify a lot of my emails. I don't know where you got that impression, actually, I don't do that. You know, I try to answer every email I get thoughtfully, and fully.

 '''Chris''': Well, that's probably easy for you...probably easier for you because, yours are not as... mean and cruel and condescending as the ones I have been getting.

 '''Alec''': Have you been getting a lot of mean ones that have not been go into the mailbag? Cause, the ones I've see... a lot of them, well they do get critical at points, but I... I dunno, it seems like they been, they just kinda wanna, you know, have some questions answered.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, But I wish they wouldn't have'ta go so critical.

 '''Alec''': Like, uh, what do you mean, like uh, what are some of the things that you found just kinda crossed the line?

 '''Chris''': Like-Like they talk about... Like they talk about copyright issues and crap...

 '''Alec''': [Trying to talk] Well that is..that is kinda of an important issue, I mean...

 '''Chris''': [Interrupting] BUT-but I have my own Copyright registration, that slip of paper I got from the Virginia Library of Congress...

 '''Alec''': Yeah, uh, I noticed one of the copyright related e-mails was um, someone asked if they could see, just some letter, or some evidence Sega or Nintendo gave you, uh, permission to go with Sonic and Pikachu, and that kinda stuff for Sonichu's origin story. Um, you know, if you provided those, that would silence those kind of e-mails right away.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': I mean, you do have copyright of Sonichu, but you would still need to show Nintendo's permission to publish it, you know what I mean?

 '''Chris''': Hmm...

 '''Alec''': 'Cause it has Pikachu in the origin story.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah, I think that would be a good idea to show everyone in the mailbag, you know, that would shut up that line of questioning right away.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but there's... also... the homosexuals, and uh, other topics, ugh, I can't remember them off the top of my head. Yeah, there's quite a few.

 '''Alec''': Like the accusations that Rosechu is a boy? I think, that was kind of a big thing-

 '''Chris''': Yeah-

 '''Alec''': People were going after-

 '''Chris''': But I, I mean, yeah, that's only before the rainbow strike, I mean, the point where that Raichu- female Raichu is within the rainbow, that would be after the rainbow strikes that Raichu.

 '''Alec''': Hmm.

 '''Chris''': And with the power of the- with the power of the Chaotic Crystals.

 '''Alec''': Well you know-

 '''Chris''': I-it was with a point, it was as point to the end of that tail, in the two panels that preceded it, the tail was definitely dull at the end.

 '''Alec''': Uhh, well, you know, the- as far as I know, the original comic does have a point tail, like a male has, and that's- that's still on your website, isn't it?

 '''Chris''': I-

 '''Alec''': You know, one thing I thought about was the gender differences in the pokemon, that didn't, Nintendo didn't do that until a while after you created it, Sonichu, right? So, I mean, I just don't get why you didn't go with that. That would've been a good explanation, but instead you kinda lied to your fans.

 '''Chris''': What do you mean, lied? I did not lie, I mean, you look at the two pictures before the rainbow hit, the tail is dull on the tip.

 '''Alec''': Oh, well, I see that in your picture that's on the front of the CWCipedia, but on the original comic he had a pointy tail, or she, I mean.

 '''Chris''': The original-

 '''Alec''': I've seen the original.

 '''Chris''': That's because- look, outside, that's just a line that is going outside of the square, whatever goes outside, does not necessarily count.

 '''Alec''': Uh, it doesn't look like it goes, like, outside the panel here, but... I mean, y'know... I don't really know. I know that you don't... you probably should have corrected that mistake, but you left it in. I mean, I'm just trying to- I mean, I just kinda wish that thing had gotten nipped in the bud. It kinda sucks, but this is like, a huge point of contention right now.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Al-also, you know, another thing, I've actually found, I've actually found a forum of my loyal fans, and I have just read some posts about the ads that have been placed in the CWCipedia, and they really don't like 'em either.

 '''Alec''': Hmm.

 '''Chris''': So, I'm not alone in that.

 '''Alec''': Well, alright. Well... you know, uh... if they wanted to buy the ad-space that's, I'm sure they could too. I mean, again, y'know, the ads, I'm gonna keep trying to talk to Mao but it's really his area. Mao's kind of the boss of the ads, I'm just kind of the artistic genius. Mao does the business work.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, that definitely do not appreciate that- that drawing of me, in a diaper, and then just copying and pasting my signature to that. That's just wrong.

 '''Alec''': Well, you know, um, I noticed that even after our last talk you continued referring Asperchu as Mitch. I thought we had that cleared away. I thought you knew he was Asperchu, I mean Asperchu is my original creation.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, maybe so, but still-

 '''Alec''': And I think you still have the impression that Asperchu is a Sonichu, and you know that's not true, right? Asperchu is not a Sonichu.

 '''Chris''': Hmm, yeah, okay, but still think about this, y-y-y-you picked- you gave him the condition of Aspergers.

 '''Alec''': Yes, that's correct. Oh! That's another thing. I think you, I think you thought that I gave everyone that appeared on my comic Aspergers, but only Asperchu has it. Just Asperchu.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Well-

 '''Alec''': Okay, you were gonna say something?

 '''Chris''': A-anyway, still, I think you could understand, since you have Aspergers and conservely, with my Autism, that we would pref- we don't really don't wanna be treated as sep- as treated as quote-unquote, "special" because of our mental conditions, we want to be treated as equal individuals.

 '''Alec''': [over Chris] Well that's certainly true, but how do you think I've been portraying Asperchu as being treated y'know different?

 '''Chris''': Try putting yourself in the shoes of your- of your Asperchu. If- if you, I mean, not only would you want to be treated as an individual equal, but-

 '''Alec''': That's how I portray him, he does everything normal people do.

 '''Chris''': But you would not want a name that empathizes the mental condition, you want a name that is more manly-

 '''Alec''': Well y'know, Chris, we don't choose our names. Our names are given to us. Asperchu never chose his name. I mean, think of it this way, the name Asperchu, if you think of that as a detriment -- I don't, but if you interpret the comic that way -- think of it as a personal, sort of, character flaw, if you will, that he has to work to overcome. All good characters have character flaws.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, I mean-

 '''Alec''': And, and, it's fiction. Sometimes characters don't always live the happiest lives in fiction, but that's part of what makes good fiction.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Hmm, yeah, but still, think about it, what if your parents had named you Asper?

 '''Alec''': Uhh...

 '''Chris''': Just to foretell that you had Aspergers, that you would have Aspergers.

 '''Alec''': Well...

 '''Chris''': You would not want that [stammers] you were being treated- wanting to be treated as an equal in society, you would not to be called Asper because-

 '''Alec''': But Chris-

 '''Chris''': Because that emphasizes the mental condition you have.

 '''Alec''': Okay Chris, that's part of the, again, character flaw Asperchu has things weighing him down, he has curses and... y'know, not literal curses, but he has detriments to his life that weigh him down as a character, and he has to work to overcome those. That's part of what makes a good character. You wouldn't make a character that's just [[Sonichu|all powerful and perfect in every way and has no real problems ever]], would you? That'd be kinda boring. Complex characters have problems that they overcome.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': And it takes, it takes time, too, to overcome a serious problem, I mean, you just renamed him Mitch, and that wouldn't do it, y'know you can't just go and snap your fingers and just wave the problem away and- 1. That's not realistic, and 2. That doesn't make for good fiction, I mean, all the drama you're building up, y'know, your readers really wouldn't really like that if you just kinda hand-waved it away, don't you think?

 '''Chris''': Alright, yeah, okay, but still-

 '''Alec''': Think about it like this: Superman is named Superman because he's super, right? And y'know, Superman is one of the most- [Alec is cut off]

 '''Chris''': I mean- as- as-as an individual, within his own world, outside of your control, Asperchu would not want that name, he would be in agreement with me, and would probably want to change his name to something like Mitch.

 '''Alec''': Ah, but the thing there is, Asperchu is not outside of my control because it's a comic, and I am the creator and, y'know, manager of his comic universe. So, I- as his creator I decide what Asperchu wants and what he doesn't want, and what his personality is like.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, don't you think?

 '''Chris''': Fairly. I mean, have you ever watched the movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

 '''Alec''': Yes I have, it was a good movie.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, you got the whole toon world there, and within that, it coincides with the comic as well, and every individual comic, published or unpublished, drawn altogether. And within the world, actually, would reside your Asperchu, but he would be with his individual thoughts since you gave him an adult attitude within his, within his individual thoughts, he would- he would hate having the name of Asperchu 'cause it emphasizes his mental problem.

 '''Alec''': Umm...

 '''Chris''': His special condition. And he's like, his process of wanting to move from that, and become more acceptable in society, that he would not want a name that would make him feel...

 '''Alec''': Okay...

 '''Chris''': Like as if he's still living it, even after he's fully recovered from it.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but Chris, um, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", that was still a movie, and everything in it was predetermined by the movie writers and director, and there is no alternate cartoon world in reality, I mean, cartoon characters don't actually think and feel things. Okay, here's a question-

 '''Chris''': Well, you obviously are naive about that, cause you're not fully underst-, you're not understanding that possibility of that universe actually existing.

 '''Alec''': So you do believe that, um, when an artist creates a cartoon character, that character becomes real? That what you're saying to me?

 '''Chris''': Within that universe, yes.

[Raucous laughter can be heard in the background]

 '''Alec''': But the universe is fake. I mean, the Asperchu universe exists on paper and in my computer. It's just, it's whatever I write it to be. Oh, here's a question for you. Okay, so if you think a character would want, you know, and appropriate name, a good name, not a name that calls them out on something, or sets them back, um... Sonichu is the name of a species, correct? I mean, there's Sonichus and Rosechus, those are a species, right?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but, he was the first one, the first original Sonichu, and she was the original Rosechu-

 '''Alec''': So, wouldn't they want their own--

 '''Chris''': [Indignant] And-and they each came up with their name, on their own, and they did not need a nickname to go with that.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, but Chris, if you're a human being would you be comfortable just being named, Human? Or Man? I mean, you wouldn't- would you be comfortable if the name Christian Weston Chandler didn't exist, and you were just called, Man, or Person or something?

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, y'know Homo Sapiens-

 '''Chris''': Yeah but I would [Chris and Alec talk over each other]

 '''Alec''': ...Homo Sapien.

 '''Chris''': Yes, but still-

 '''Alec''': Homo, homo.

 '''Chris''': I was not the first human being, and I actually had parents who gave me that name. Sonichu came in, he had to come up with his own name-

 '''Alec''': Well, Sonichu had you who gave him that name didn't he? I mean, within the comic, you Christian Weston Chandler are Sonichu's father right? I mean, why wouldn't, why wouldn't your cartoon self give him a name?

 '''Chris''':: Uh, that's the cartoon me, versus the real me.

 '''Alec''': Okay, but isn't the cartoon you... Okay, like you said cartoons are basically real, I mean, so shouldn't the cartoon version of you be just like you? Wouldn't you want to give your child a name? I mean you-

 '''Chris''': I did give him a name, he's the original Sonichu, so therefore, it's as such.

 '''Alec''': But all the other Sonichus also have nicknames, or secondary names, so, so the first Sonichu, I gotta think is feeling kinda left out.

 '''Chris''': Well, he doesn't feel left out. He accepts that, and he's happy with it, just as Rosechu.

 '''Alec''':: Okay, well, I don't think Asperchu feels left out because, y'know, he's just my cartoon character. He's my property, y'know, he's my intellectual property, that's what he is. You can't have a person as property, so you know, he's my property, he's not a person, he doesn't feel things, he doesn't think.

 '''Chris''': Okay, well still, what if you could actually could see- what if you could actually could see the child with your girlfriend or wife? Then, would you feel that you own that child even after you have raised him from being a baby, to, let's say, late teenage years where that child would feel more like and individual and independent being?

 '''Alec''':: [clearly frustrated with Chris's nonsense] Chris, you do understand, that a child, a human being is substantially more that a comic character, right? They're not the same thing, they're not even close. Of course I would name a child, children are real, and children are not our property, I mean if I had a child, I would give it all the love and support it needed, but it is it's own person, he or she, I should say. Where as a comic character is just, it's whatever you draw on paper or in PhotoShop. I mean, I draw Asperchu on paper, that's the only place he exists. And then I upload him onto my computer and that's where he exists, and he exists on the web. So I have a character, he grows, but he's never a person.

 '''Chris''': Hmm. Well anyway, this is confusing to think about. Okay- well- yeah...

 '''Alec''':: We can agree to disagree.

 '''Chris''': Okay, what if As- what if the shoe was on the other foot- what if Asperchu created you?

 '''Alec''':: Well then, I'd be a comic character, myself, and I wouldn't have any thoughts and feelings, so that's a moot point.

 '''Chris''': You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?

 '''Alec''':: NO.

 '''Chris''': You are naive.

 '''Alec''':: Chris, you have told me that you think a comic character is fundamentally as much of a person as a real human being, that is the naive thought.

 '''Chris''': No, you are-

 '''Alec''':: I'm a writer, I'm like the god of the Asperchu world. I decide what goes on in Asperchu's world, I decide, who and what Asperchu is and what he thinks and feels, if anything, which he doesn't, because he's still just a character on paper, y'know, when I put the pen down, Asperchu stops being there. Nothing exists in Asperchu's world that I haven't drawn.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Boy, you are-

 '''Alec''':: And it's naive to think that there's anything more.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs again]

 '''Alec''':: You know, I'm, uh- I think we should agree to disagree on this point.

 '''Chris''':Alright.

 '''Alec''': Um, because we have our own thoughts on that. Um, I kinda ask you about- I'm actually getting some letters about Sonichu, about why you're not updating daily, and I was kinda curious about that.

 '''Chris''': I- for your information, I am updating daily. I draw two pages- I draw and color my two pages a day. I can't help if I don't have access to my computer or if I can't get to it right away, besides which, my biological clock has been fickle on me and it's making me go- making fall asleep early.

 '''Alec''': Well, I understand-

 '''Chris''': And it's difficult to rearrange my schedule, and get back in- in a sync-synchronized routine like I would be.

 '''Alec''': Maybe you could get an alarm clock. You know, I- I'm just kinda curious, like, I know it takes, what, like an hour to do each page, about what you spend, I would kinda guess. Um, I'm just kinda confused why you'd spend an hour to draw a page, but not take that extra sixty seconds to upload it. I think consistency is important thing-

 '''Chris''': But, wait, it could take- it takes more than sixty seconds to scan it in Photoshop, then upload it. It would probably take like half an hour for all that work.

 '''Alec''': I didn't know you did PhotoShop work with your pages. What do you, what do you use PhotoShop for, if I may ask? I'm just kinda curious. I thought you just-

 '''Chris''': T-t-to change it from more hand-written text, to more legible typed text.

 '''Alec''': Y'know, If I remember right, I think kinda one of the criticisms you had about Asperchu was that it was not completely hand-drawn original. Because I do use PhotoShop in part of my creative process, but it sounds like you do kind of the same thing. Which is, you know, that's fine. Digital, digital media is where our world is going, but I thought- see I thought you drew it all on paper and uploaded it.

 '''Chris''': I did draw it all on paper. The only part I edit in PhotoShop is the text; what you reeead.

 '''Alec''': 'Kay, I thought so. Well, it just seems a little hypocritical, but you do use PhotoShop in the creative process, but you criticized me for it. Don't you think?

 '''Chris''': No, actually, what I thought, is that you skip the hand-drawing and you draw everything on your PhotoShop with your computer mouse.

 '''Alec''': Well I don't-- here's what I do. I do sometimes draw the pages on paper, um, I'm kinda trying to shy away from that because, our society wastes so much paper, so I'm trying to be a little more socially responsible. But what I do, I use a tablet, and I draw on that, and that's basically the same thing as pen and paper, it's, uh, what I draw goes directly on the computer screen. So I don't use a mouse.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, it's the same thing-

 '''Chris''': Okay, but still, it looks crappy compared to mine. Even my mother agrees.

 '''Alec''': Oh, hey, hey, hey, c'mon that's a little insulting Chris, what do you mean, "crappy"? I mean, my mother says my comic is the most beautiful comic she's ever seen too but, I kind of think that's because she's a supportive mother. You know, mothers are supposed to support their children in their endeavors. And I have, y'know, got 20,000 fans now that love it too. None of them are my mother. My mother doesn't actually use a computer, I just show her the print-outs.

[There is a brief silence]

 '''Alec''': Y'know I get complimented on my art all the time.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, it's okay to disagree. I just, I'm curious why you think it's crappy?

 '''Chris''': Because it's computer drawn. It's not originally hand-drawn.

 '''Alec''': I just told you, it is hand-drawn. It's hand-drawn on a tablet. What do you mean, it's not an original hand-drawn?

 '''Chris''': It don't have the old-fashioned original pencil or pen markings, that's what I have.

 '''Alec''': So, because I don't have smudge-marks on my paper, is that's what you mean? That was another reason I went with the tablet, because I got a lot of smudge-marks on my paper when I was doing math and I had to spend extra time erasing it. Y'know is-- okay, by comparison, could I say that our cars are not true original transportation because people should be using old-fashioned horses? You use PhotoShop for lettering and effects. We're one in the same here, Chris.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': And-and again, I just don't see why, the exact method I use to draw determines the skill of my art. Weren't you um, I remember recently, didn't you put, like, a live picture of yourself in your comic for some Guitar Hero theme? I mean, you didn't draw that part in, did you?

 '''Chris''': I-I-It at least allows me, to put myself in my work. See, a bigger difference between drawing with a tablet or mouse versus hand-drawn is that you see more personality with the orig-- with the pen-marking, and color-- and marker coloring versus whats... whats digitally entered-

 '''Alec''': Well, if you feel that way. If you feel that way, I respect your opinion, but, I mean, y'know, 20,000 fans can't be wrong, and not a single one of them have ever said anything.

 '''Chris''': Okay well--okay well, l-let me give you a better example on that. Okay, say you got, uh, two letters, two exact same letters from a person, from the same person. One hand-written, and one computerized and printed, which one would you think would have more personality, or would appeal to you better?

 '''Alec''': I honestly don't remember the last time anyone wrote me a hand-written letter. I don't even remember the last time I wrote a hand-written letter, I type everything, every kind of- I mean, typing looks more professional.

 '''Chris''': Professional, yes, but-

 '''Alec''': I mean, hand-written wouldn't get you a job, or anything.

[[Image:MoarCharacter.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
 '''Chris''': At least I have had all the practice of hand-writing, and that- there's more character, more personality put into it, in hand-writing versus what you would just see, everyday in a monosynchronic(?) sense.

 '''Alec''': Well, you know why you see it everyday, everywhere, Chris? You see it everywhere, because it works. Because that's what people prefer.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': I think we're getting kinda off-topic, I mean I just-- I kinda wanna go back to, um, I understand it can be difficult to get to your computer and upload things, you know in a timely fashion, sometimes, you're not at your computer, things like that, but, I mean, Sonichu's your franchise, a lot of fans I know are getting kind of, y'know, fed up that you don't have pages uploaded everyday. I mean, Sonichu is your, that's your franchise, right? I just, I dunno, I mean, I got a lot of stuff going on in my day too, but I make sure to get at least one or two pages uploaded everyday. Which has been more difficult since my school term started, 'cause I'm in full time school, and, y'know, I work still, I'm still working at the station but... that's just a recommendation, but... again, I know it's difficult, but I recommend that you try. That's all I'm saying.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well, I am drawing- I have been drawing the pages, and like I said, I cannot help it if I can't upload on some days, but at least I do upload them in the bulk on when I can upload.

 '''Alec''': You know, for a while, for a couple months, you were uploading most everyday weren't you? I mean, has something, has something, has your schedule gotten busier recently or something?

Chris: I've been falling asleep earlier. And with that, it's hard- and with that it's harder for me to readjust my schedule.

 '''Alec''': You know Chris, if I fell asleep on my job, I'd probably lose my job. I mean, Sonichu is supposed to be your big franchise, right? I mean... if fell asleep while drawing Asperchu and I started missing days, I would buy myself and alarm clock. Or I would upload them earlier, before I knew I was gonna get tired, or whatever.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': It's just-

 '''Chris''': Anyway, anyway I haven't been able to get my schedule around and I just haven't been able to get it in sync yet.

 '''Alec''': What's uh... if I may ask, what's... has something been going on that's been throwing your schedule for a loop? I mean, you-you haven't made videos in the past couple of days but you know prior to that, you were making videos fairly frequently, mostly attacking me.

 '''Chris''': Originally did-- originally when I did the videos it was not necessarily on a daily basis, that's not like, journal, a video is not like a journal to me.

 '''Alec''': Well but, you know, if you spend 5, 10, 15 minutes making a video, that's time you could be uploading a comic. But instead you make videos attacking me.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Pl-plus, the battery power on my digital camera is fickle.

 '''Alec''': What does your digital camera have to do with uploading pages? I'm saying you shouldn't be using the camera, you shouldn't be making videos. You know why I haven't made any videos, Chris? It's cause I don't have time, I'm uploading pages that and-- that and I don't make death threats to people on the internet, that's not a... I mean, you know-- you know you really hurt my feelings when you started doing those Chris, because, like I said you started as my inspiration and a couple months later you became my troll.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs]

 '''Alec''': I know you have trolls, you know, it sucks.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': It really sucks to have people attacking you like that, but you became my troll.

 '''Chris''': Alright well... you know, how 'bout you just tell Mao that I... if he just... I'll leave y'all alone, let y'all do your thang... y'all take your ads off my website.

 '''Alec''': That's just not a... that's not a sound business move for me, Chris. Those ads are bringing in a lot of viewers.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] So, put 'em on another website.

 '''Alec''': Well, what if that website tells me that, y'know, they don't want them there, then should I move to another website, and then another, and then another... Mao's job is to bring in fans for me, that's what he's doing and he's doing it well, and that's why I keep him-

 '''Chris''': Well, Mao- Mao never asked me before he could- before he put anything up there or before he paid off Jack Thaddeus.

 '''Alec''': Well, he doesn't have to, that's the way ads work. You buy adspace that's publically available. Advertising is not under your control.

 '''Chris''': Ye-Yeh- But I was- but I was never there to witness that monetary transaction, I was never there for that quote-unquote "agreement".

 '''Alec''': You don't own the site, Chris.

 '''Chris''': ...what?

 '''Alec''': You don't own that site. Right? I mean, the money from the ads go to keep the site up, that's my understanding.

 '''Chris''': [Sighs] Actually, you're wrong, you see, Mao ga-put- gave that to 2000 Euros directly to Jack Thaddeus actually put that 2000 Euros into the CWCipedia funds, so therefore, Mao never saw his money in his money in the CWCipedia funds, they just went straight to Jack.

 '''Alec''': Um, I'm not really sure. I've never spoken to Jack, I don't know anything about what he and Mao talked about, y'know I'd kinda like to help you out, honestly I would, but I'm still a little... I'm a little miffed that um... even after we had a pretty good talk last time, but you still kept going with this whole Mitch business. I mean, you took my character, and altered him. You say, you say that I didn't get permission to use Sonichu, but you didn't get permission to use Asperchu either.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, well...

 '''Alec''': Or Simonchu! I-I-I almost forgot to mention that, Evan wanted me to talk to you about that, about using Simonchu. Y'know, Simonchu was his creation and you used that without permission. And he asked you several times, not- to get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, or whatever her female form is. But-

 '''Chris''': Yeah, but actually, Simonla was never very inspired by Simonchu... I took an original Rosechu, I changed her to a ground color, gave her the complexion, added an armadillo shell, and then a few drills in appropriate faces- places.

 '''Alec''': So kind of how I took a Sonic, and make him yellow, and gave him a goatee and glasses, and a Buddha belly, and thus was born Asperchu. And, it was- you thought it was a parody, but it just happened to be... that kinda what you're going with, for there? I mean, why didn't you just say that to Evan in the first place, 'cause he has been e-mailing you for a long time.

 '''Chris''': I-I told him- I responded- I told him that in response- in response to why those messages in the mailbag, but apparently, he had not read that.

 '''Alec''': Okay, uhm... let's see, I'm looking at the Simonla at your CWCipedia here, um, you say that... I'll just read what it says here: About, on or before August 26, 2008, I received and e-mail from Evan George, uhh... submitting his Sonichu fan-art to me, then later submitted his idea for Simonchu, it did not strike as good at first but for a few months, I wanted to create a ground type, um... so from Simonchu, I created Simonla Rosechu. That's on the Simonla article for your CWCipedia. I mean that's, smoking gun, Chris, that's proof, that you used Simonchu as a base.

 '''Chris''': [Groans]

 '''Alec''': I'm... y'know I'm not trying to attack you with this but I really think this is Evan's, that you should get rid of Simonchu and Simonla, write 'em out. 'Cause the facts are right there Chris.

 '''Chris''': Well, actually it was not like that, I typed it in because Evan was badgering me as such, and it just stuck in my head, and pretty much stuck... when I typed it in originally.

 '''Alec''': Why would that just stick in your head, why would that happen? Why would it stick in your head, unless it's true?

 '''Chris''': [Trying to think of an excuse]I put it in there to make a mockery out of him!

 '''Alec''': Well, then you kind of... kind of lied about it to people, didn't you? I mean, 'cause everyone else thinks that's the honest truth.

 '''Chris''': Well, I can stick- well I can change that and fix it.

 '''Alec''': Doesn't matter, you already established it. I mean, when it comes to, like, copyright, and that sort of thing, Chris, I mean, the one thing that matters more that anything else is documentation, and history. And all of your documentation shows that you used Simonchu as inspiration. You acknowledge lega liability here. Whether it was a joke or not, you wrote it like it was real. And Evan's been pester-

 '''Chris''': [lets out a big sigh]

 '''Alec''': ...ing me to talk to you, 'cause apparently you're ignoring his e-mails... although you ignore my e-mails too. I mean, like I said, it was a pain just to get a hold of you. I mean, for a guy who has so much to say to me, you are hard to get a hold of.

 '''Chris''': Hmm.

 '''Alec''': I mean, you, you, I'm just I wanna let you know, you do need to comply with Evan's demands, 'cause he's talking about litigation, and that if he want to get a lawyer over this. He said that he'd, that he'd back off if you acknowledge, in the comic and write Simonchu and Simonla out, and y'know, say that they will be done and gone forever. He has the copyright for Simonchu. I mean, would you be willing to do that? Write 'em out?

 '''Chris''': I'll con- I'll think about it.

 '''Alec''': Okay, well don't think too long. I mean, this is a serious issue.

 '''Chris''': [Sigh]

 '''Alec''': I'm just- I'm just trying to give you advice, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Yeah-

 '''Alec''': I don't wanna see litigation out of this.

 '''Chris''': Hmm... anyway I'm feeling tired right now.

 '''Alec''': Okay well, I'll let you go, um... you have a good night, Chris.

 '''Chris''': Alright, goodnight.

 '''Alec''': Goodnight.

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|Chris and Alec Call 1]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|Chris and Alec Call 3]]|}}

==External Links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGB99JTZJes The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1

2010-04-18T19:04:44Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Video */

[[Image:PenAndPaperHaveCharacter.jpg|thumb|This is what Chris actually believed.]]

'''Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1''' is the first call between [[Chris]] and [[Asperchu|Alec]], which took place on 22 January 2010.

==Summary==

Chris and Alec discuss the size and location of [[Asperpedia]] advertisements on the [[CWCipedia]]. Chris tries to dictate the content of Alec's [[Asperchu]] comics by telling him to tone down the amount of violence in the series. He also goes on to tell Alec to rename Asperchu's versions of the Chaotic Combo characters to the names seen in Sonichu 10.

Alec questions how Chris can hold a copyright on [[Sonichu]] when Sonichu is in fact a [[Pokemon]], a derivative of another creator's copyrighted work, after which Chris jumps to change the subject to avoid admitting that Alec has a point. (Chris similarly avoids or ignores the obvious truth about his "original" characters in other conversations with Alec.) Alec also confronts Chris's ill-will towards Asperchu and Alec himself by bringing up the pages of [[Sonichu 10]] where Chris drew his super-form breaking into Alec's house and destroying his website and computer. Chris retaliates by saying that Alec's killing of his fictional characters in Asperchu justifies his fantasies of committing destruction of property and theft. Chris becomes increasingly [[stress|stressed out]] as the call goes on and eventually hangs up on Alec with a quick goodbye.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|oNQNdjFES7o}}
| Stardate = 22 January 2010
| Featuring = [[Chris]]; [[Alec]]
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]]
| previous = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|First]]
| next = [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

 '''Alec''': Hi, is this... is this, uh, Christian Weston Chandler?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, this is Christian, may I help you?

 '''Alec''': Hi Chris, um... this is Alec Benson Leary. Is it-Is it okay if we talk?

 '''Chris''': Oh yes. Uh... Sure. Yes. So uh...

 '''Alec''': Good. Well, uh, there's a couple of things I wanted to talk about tonight. Um, first of all, uh... Well I understand you've got... you've got a problem with the ads that are on [[CWCipedia]]? Can you... Can you tell me a little more about um... I kinda want to have, you know, get a compromise and settle this 'cause... 'cause I don't... I don't want anybody to be angry.

 '''Chris''': Okay yeah. I'll let you have your ads on the CWCipedia but don't make them too big, and uh, leave 'em in the side bar.

 '''Alec''': Okay... um...

 '''Chris''': [''Interrupts''] I don't want-I don't want-I do not want them in-I do not want them c... c... covering over... the introductory box or any-or anything else where I have to scroll down even to edit the pages. Or even to log in.

 '''Alec''': Okay, um. Well I understand-

 '''Chris''': So- so Okay cool. Just keep your ads on the sidebar.

 '''Alec''': Yeah my friend [[Asperchu|Mao]], he um, he actually makes the ads for me. I didn't make them myself but I can try to talk to him about that. About the size.

 '''Chris''': Okay. Alright.

 '''Alec''': As for like, where on the CWCipedia, they are, I don't know if Mao controls that or not, I don't think he does. I think... I'm not sure what controls like where the adspace goes, you know. I mean, I'll talk to Mao about it but I'm not sure if he controls that either.

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Okay.

 '''Alec''': Yeah like, I can talk to him. But you might want to talk to your web manager or whatever, Cuz they set up the way the adspace goes, you know?

 '''Chris''': Yeah, and also, just uh, just one more concern of mine upon- uh, yeah, I've uh, read your pages on the Asperchu comic. But the-and the recent pages, what do you think you're doing- what do you think you- what do you think you're parodying, [[Wikipedia:Happy Tree Friends|Happy Tree Friends]]?

 '''Alec''': Um... What's happy tree friends? What's that?

 '''Chris''': [''Sighs''] It's supposed to be like a happy TV-Y show, but it's actually- it's actually adult dark humor because they go into cut-slashing all the cute characters up and uh, it's- well all the blood and gore and everything, and yet they make them come- they make them come back to life unharmed in the very next episode, just to slice and dice em up again.

 '''Alec''': Oh. Um, I've actually never heard of that series. What is, is that on cartoon network or...

 '''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] ye- yeah... no you can look it up on netflix.

 '''Alec''': Oh.

 '''Chris''': Yeah that's a good place. But anyway, blood and gore. Yeah, that's not a good way to go, especially when you killed, even- even considerable facsimiles of my own characters in that sense, and in that detail.

 '''Alec''': Well you know, um, I actually- I got a lot of uh, actually positive response from my fans when I did that. Because you know, some of my fans [''trails off as Chris interrupts.'']

 '''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, that's another thing. Yeah that's another thing. Encourage the fans that were originally my fans to come back to me. I would appreciate that.

 '''Alec''': Uh, Well I, I mean, you know I tell my fans all about you all the time Chris, because, you know, like I've told you in a lot of the letters I've written to you you were a big inspiration to me. You know, I don't really know what to say to my fans as far as that goes. They uh, they love my comic. I get a lot, I get a '''lot''' of fanmail about it.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, okay. Umm okay how about this, uh, just to make it equal, um, put an advertisement for the CWCipedia on uh, on the Asperpedia. About as much as the Asperpedia ads are on my CWCipeida.

 '''Alec''': Um, well um yeah, we might be able to work something out, you know, you'd probably want to contact Mao, cuz he's my manager he does all the grunt work on Asperpedia. Um, I'm not even sure what how selling the adspace works but I'm sure he'd be willing to sell you some adspace on Asperpedia we could definitely try to work something like that out.

 '''Chris''': So basically... alright well, alright well Mao and I can talk through E-mail.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah. Yeah cuz, you can- I mean, like I said I don't know the details but I know adspace is up for purchase so...

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Alright. Then we got settled on at least on, your ads on my CWCipedia. And yeah, ease up on the- not so much blood and gore. And try to uh, bring my fans, uh, redirect my fans back to me.

 '''Alec''': Um... well you know uh... I'm trying to think of a good way to say this, but you know, we are in kind of a friendly competition if you will. You know we, we're both [[Chris and Art|artists]], kind of. I mean, it doesn't really make sense for an artist to say to his fans, "Hey guys, don't follow me anymore, go back to this other artist". I mean, would you do that for your fans? Would you say "Hey fans, go talk to Alec" or "go watch Alec's cartoon" or anyone else's cartoon I mean really? No you want the fans to follow you.

 '''Chris''': Um. Okay, um. Okay yeah I can understand that um, okay, um.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, Mm-hmm.

 '''Chris''': Well since, well since you and I are on- are on okay agreeing mutual- okay talking tones right now.

 '''Alec''': Mmm-hmm?

 '''Chris''': How about I, uh, How about I just remove all the bad talk I have against you, and then start saying that, start saying that you're okay, that your comic is okay, that and uh, you know, but still saying that your, like you know I would appreciate it if you would stay being my fans, but if you want to go look at his work, that's fine I can't stop you there, but you know.

 '''Alec''': Well actually, I'm glad that you're bringing this up because, um, I do say we're on friendly terms and I'd like to keep it that way because, you know, I got my start because of you, um, but to be honest, I want to be honest and frank with you.

 '''Chris''': Mm. Mm.

 '''Alec''': Um, you made a couple of videos. And I don't watch all your videos but I do try to keep up, I mean I spend a lot of time drawing the comics, so I don't have a lot of time to watch videos anymore but um, I saw a couple of [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|videos]] where you, uh, you actually threatened me with uh, physical...

 '''Chris''': [''interrupts''] Umm, yeah. Okay well...

 '''Alec''': [''Trying to talk''] Yeah that didn't make me [''unintelligible'']

 '''Chris''': [''Talking over Alec''] I was uh, I was, well I was more angry back then because it was an immediate, uh, response, but now things have settled down and we're talking, I can-I can make a new video saying like, you know, I apologize for those threats, and uh, that things are okay here.

 '''Alec''': Okay and, and about you um-also the video where you...you wanted [[Patti Chandler|your dog]] to eat me, or something like that, you-your dog to eat my soul, I mean that-well the [[death threats]] were kind of scary to begin with, but that, that was just a [''unintelligible'']

 '''Chris''': Okay yeah, well I'll take-I'll take that back as well, I'm sorry.

 '''Alec''': And, and um, that kind of leads me into another point, um you, you're under the impression that I was, that I was besmirching your dog in my comic, and I'm not really sure what you mean by that. Could you explain to me?

 '''Chris''': Okay well, the villain, the dog in your comic, it looks-it looks similar to my dog, especially around the green neckerchief and the other parts that are green on that dog. And the, and the shape of the dog, just looked like my dog.

 '''Alec''': Well it's just a-a lot of dogs look like that, Chris, I mean a lot of..it-it's just a neckerchief, I mean it's just a little flair for the dog. That doesn't mean it's your dog.

 '''Chris''': Yeah.

 '''Alec''': I think honestly you make that assumption with a lot of my characters, it seems like you think that a lot of my characters were you know, like ripping off your characters, or even you yourself, because you said that Asperchu was...

 '''Chris''': Yeah, [[Obesity|Buddha belly]] and the [[Muscle bra|manboobs]], the [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]...

 '''Alec''': Well I mean, Chris, you're...

 '''Chris''': Oh, and the [[Love quest|sweetheart search]] thing and the [[Crystal Weston Chandler|future daughter]].

 '''Alec''': Well I mean, Asperchu's not a [[parody]], Chris, I mean he's an original creation.

 '''Chris''': Okay.

 '''Alec''': You know just because he has the glasses, the Buddha belly, and the-and the manboobs, and the goatee, you know, that doesn't make him a parody, I mean that's...And besides you said you had the [[McDonald's|fast food]], I mean, how could it be a parody of you if, if your belly is [''unintelligible due to Chris talking over him'']

 '''Chris''': If I-if I, you, you mean if I [[Lie|currently do not have the Buddha belly]].

 '''Alec''': Well, exactly, so Asperchu can't be a parody of you, right?

 '''Chris''': Okay. Well...

 '''Alec''': I mean, doesn't that-that makes sense to me, doesn't that make sense to you?

 '''Chris''': Okay, I s-yeah, that's fine.

 '''Alec''': I mean, it's just a little-it seems-it seems a little [[naïve]] to think that Asperchu and everything are parodies of your char-I mean, I do include some of your characters in the comic, and those-those-my original characters are purely original. Asperchu...nothing about Asperchu is a parody. [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues.''] And actually-actually, I'd kind of like you to issue your retraction video to, to um, let everyone know that Asperchu is original and is not a parody in any way. Or if there are-oh, and, and you did mention that I don't have a disclaimer on my comics, but uh, that made me think I should create a disclaimer and so I did, so if there are any elements that look parodic, I'm covered.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, okay, yeah. And also, yeah, you definitely do reference my [[Sonichu]] and my [[CWCville]] and especially the [[Chaotic Combo]] recently.

 '''Alec''': Well as you said those weren't yours, you said those were copies. You said those were just, you know, copies of...

 '''Chris''': Y-y-y-your versions are just recreational-recreation-recreated facsimiles. Okay so let's agree to that...

 '''Alec''': [''Trying to speak''] Can I ask-can I ask you something about the Chaotic Combo and Sonichu? Yeah, those were just facsimiles, those weren't really yours...

 '''Chris''': No they were-no, they were all mine-actually they were all mine. They were all-they were originally mine.

 '''Alec''': But, the ones that I drew, were those facsimiles or are those not?

 '''Chris''': Uhh...okay well...

 '''Alec''': Because you, in your comic, you came and you took them away, in your-in your recent pages of your comic. I mean you said in-you said in the comics that those were mine, but, you know, so they must be original, right? [''Chris tries to interrupt, but Alec continues.''] You said in the comic they weren't the Chaotic Combo, so they must be original. But then you came and took them. I-I don't get that, and you renamed them and re-restyled them.

 '''Chris''': [''finally manages to break in''] Listen, listen, okay. The Chaotic Combo, in my comics, appeared before Book number 10, and originated in CWCville, Virginia, not in Minnesota, those are originally mine. But the ones that you re-drew and then made them different from how they originally were, in my comic, then that's definitely-that's totally fax-facsimiles...

 '''Alec''': Mine? Then, why did you take them?

 '''Chris''': Okay, well I mean-okay number one-

 '''Alec''': And not just the Combo, you tried to retake my Asperchu. And Asperchu wasn't, you know, a copy of anything. You-you renamed him [[Mitch Sonichu]]. I mean, Asperchu's mine. You-I don't really appreciate that.

 '''Chris''': Hm.

 '''Alec''': You know, you accuse me of thievery, but then you go and take-and try to take my Asperchu.

 '''Chris''': Okay well you did-you did take my Sonichu, and you did claim him to be the original one, and you did claim orig-you did make it obvious in your comics where he was the original one, from the city of CWCville, and even worse you made him brother to Asperchu, and uh, with the homosexual tendencies and whatnot, even when you drew the Chaotic Combo you made [[Wild]] a [[Homos|homosexual]] even when he is not.

 '''Alec''': Well, but Wild's not yours, what does it matter if, if my Wild's gay? I thought there was-I thought there was depth to the character, I was just trying to give them a little personality. And the homosexual references, okay this is something that came up before...

 '''Chris''': Okay well listen, okay well aside from the [''unintelligible''] Sonichu-

 '''Alec''': Asperchu has a girlfriend, Dixie Chu.

 '''Chris''': No actually, I read further in the book and Dixie Chu dumped his ass.

 '''Alec''': She doesn't-she doesn't-she doesn't-no, she doesn't mean that, she doesn't mean that. They're, they're destined to be together, Chris, I mean, can't you see those undertones? I mean that's-that's where this whole comic is going. And besides, he's shown he's straight, I mean even if a girl does dump him, what does it matter? He went after a girl. He didn't go after a boy. Like you said, Sonichu is his brother, why would he...you know, even if he was gay why would he go for his brother? That's just-that's just sick.

 '''Chris''': [''Sigh''] Yeah, I mean anyway-okay well listen, how about this, in your comics, when you, uh, in the future, or in re-or re-referencing the past pages, the Sonichu that is Asperchu's brother, you just refer to him as Michael, and the Wild you'd refer to him as Bobby, and the [[Angelica]] Trisha, et cetera, just like I said in my pages. And Mitch can be Asperchu's nickname.

 '''Alec''': But Chris, those aren't really their characters' names. I mean, Bobby and Mitch and-and, I forget the other names, I think you renamed [[Bubbles]] "Kitty" or something like that, I mean those aren't, those aren't their names.

 '''Chris''': Okay but, okay but you see when I gave the Chaotic Combo characters those names, originally, in my books, those would be their nick-those would be their nicknames, just, I mean-they're all Sonichus and Rosechus individually, but they're just different types, like uh, without the nickname, Wild, he would be Grass Sonichu, Bubbles would be Water Rosechu, Flying Rosechu, [[Punchy|Fighting Sonichu]], [[Magi-chan|Psychic Sonichu]]...

 '''Alec''': Okay, I understand what you're saying, but well see there's one of the differences, though, because in my comic, those are really their names, I mean, you know, Angelica, Punchy, Bubbles, Magi-chan...

 '''Chris''': No no, you see, but those are actually their names in MY book. In my book.

 '''Alec''': Their nicknames, you said. In my comic they're their actual names. That's the difference.

 '''Chris''': No, I'm talking in reference to the [[Pokemon]] game, you know, if you wanted to na-if you wanted to give-if you wanted to name your Bulbasaur, they call it giving it a nickname, but really it's just giving them their NAME. So, therefore, the grass Sonichu in my book is Wild, the water Rosechu in my books are Bubbles, et cetera, et cetera, so-

 '''Alec''': You know, Chris-

 '''Chris''': It would work better if you just take the nickna-the uh, names I suggested for your variations of those characters and just reference to them as such.

 '''Alec''': Chris, um, my characters aren't Pokemon, I don't draw Pokemon, that's not how it works in my comic.

 '''Chris''': Y-yeah you have been drawing Pokemon, Sonichu is an electric hedgehog Pokemon.

 '''Alec''': I thought he was a Sonichu, I mean-

 '''Chris''': Sonichu is an electric hedgehog Pokemon. If you read back in my Book Number Zero, I make it perfectly clear that Sonichu and Rosechu are electric hedgehog Pokemon.

 '''Alec''': Um, oh, okay. Well, I think the point of confusion there is, um, where their-like, I've never seen any Poke Balls in your comic, or trainers, or any of those other Pokemon elements, you know? Like, shouldn't they live in Poke Balls?

 '''Chris''': Yes, there's a Poke Ball that specially catches Sonichus and Rosechus called the S-Chu Ball, and there is a reference to that within the book, the crystals were the [[Sonichu Ball]] crystals, before I renamed them Chaotic Crystals, and we do have a train-we have two trainers. Naitsirhc was a Pokemon trainer, he had a Zapdos, he had a red Gyarados, he had a Mewtwo...

 '''Alec''': But Chris, those are-those are like Zapdos, and Mewtwo, and Gyarados, I mean does anyone-Sonichu lives in a house, doesn't he, I mean he lives like a person-

 '''Chris''': Yeah, yeah, okay well you see, he was originally a wild Pokemon in the original Sonichu, but the original Rosechu was originally a Raichu that was caught and trained by the Pokemon trainer Kellie, [[Kel]] for short.

 '''Alec''': But, they live on their own now, I mean when they became Sonichu and Rosechu, they're-they're people, right? I mean they live like people, they have jobs like people, Sonichu has a job doesn't he? I mean, what does he do?

 '''Chris''': Yeah well you see, in that case, Kel wanted to move on with her Pokemon trainer career, but Rosechu and Sonichu wanted to live happy, individual lives, so upon realizing that, Kel just let them go, just like Ash released his Butterfree so he can go mate with the pink Butterfree.

 '''Alec''': Oh. Well I uh, I actually didn't know any of that. But I di-I digress, um, the point is-the point is that Asperchu and my version of the Chaotic Combo, all those characters, those are not Pokemon in my comics, I mean, Pokemon don't exist in the world of Asperchu. Because, you see, like Asperchu, he lives in his grandparent's house, he is a person.

 '''Chris''': Hm. Yeah, okay well my-

 '''Alec''': [''overlapping''] My Sonichu is a person, my Chaotic Combo are people...

 '''Chris''': Okay well, okay, alright, but that still makes it sound like my characters when you talk about THE Sonichu from Cwcville...

 '''Alec''': They're not your characters, we've established that. They're not yours, I mean, they're my characters. [''Trying to talk over Chris''] Original. My comic is not a parody.

 '''Chris''': Okay, Sonichu and Rosechu, I actually have paper-registered copyrights on those so I COULD sue you, but I'm trying to resolve this peacefully.

 '''Alec''': You have-okay, so you have the copyright-

 '''Chris''': Yeah, look under the copyright section of the-on the CWCipedia. It actually has the scan of the paper from the Virginia Library of Congress as well as the envelope it came in.

 '''Alec''': You have a copyright of Sonichu.

 '''Chris''': Yes.

 '''Alec''': But you said Sonichu's a Pokemon, right, I mean I'm pretty sure Nintendo has the copyright claim to Pokemon.

 '''Chris''': Still, it's Sonichu.

 '''Alec''': I mean, I might just wanna contact Nintendo just to make sure everything's okay, to make sure I'm not stepping on their toes.

 '''Chris''': They have been contacted before, and everything's okay, you don't need to do that.

 '''Alec''': But, I mean, well then, how can you hold the copyright to a Pokemon-

 '''Chris''': The Virginia Library of Congress has allowed me-

 '''Alec''': Well, the Virginia Library of Congress, you know, can't tell Nintendo what to do, they can't tell Nintendo to just hand over copyrights to their creations, to just anybody. I mean, you know, Nintendo could take the Virginia Library of Congress to court and say, hey wait a minute, you know, you issued this copyright illegally.

 '''Chris''': [''Massive Stress Sigh.'']

 '''Alec''': It's just the Library of Congress.

 '''Chris''':[''mumbling unintelligibly''] Okay look, let's just agree to uh, this is-what we're talking about right now just seems pointless to what we were originally talking about. Let's just agree that,uh-

 '''Alec''': I don't think it's pointless, I mean I'm just trying to establish the...I mean you said you could sue me, I don't want to, you know, just let that go, I mean I don't want to get sued, nobody wants to get sued. I just don't understand how you could sue me-that's what I'm confused on, I mean, you're confusing me, Chris. I mean, call me naïve, but this is-I just don't get exactly what you're getting at.

 '''Chris''': Okay well-okay yeah, I'm trying to prevent from having to go into the legal issues as well, so-

 '''Alec''': Well I appreciate that, but I just don't understand how you have a legal ground to sue me, I mean, because Pokemon-

 '''Chris''': -because I-because I do hold the copyright to Sonichu.

 '''Alec''': But Sonichu's a Pokemon.

 '''Chris''': [''Flustered''] Look, let's just rewind, can we-can we-let's just rewind and go back to what we agreed on before, you know re-uh-readjusting the advertisement signs and uh, giving me, a possible CWCipedia ad on the Asperpedia, and, we just-let the Sonichu in your book be known as-be known as Michael Sonichu, as well as the other Sonichus and Rosechus of the Chaotic Combo, of my Chaotic Combo, let's just rename them the names I suggested in my book-

 '''Alec''': Umm.

 '''Chris''': In your book.

 '''Alec''': Alright, like I said I'll talk to Mao about the ads; as far as the renaming goes, if you're-I guess you can make up some characters, Mike Sonichu, Mitch Sonichu and whatever, that's your comic book, if you want to create those characters that's fine. I mean, like I said I'm not going to rename my characters.

 '''Chris''': [''Sigh.'']

 '''Alec''': And-and you know now that you bring this back to the table, another thing that kind of vexed me in your comic was that you as a, you as uh, [[Collosal Chan]]-was it Collosal Chan or Collosal Chu? I don't recall-

 '''Chris''': It is Collosal-it is Collosal Chris-chan, that'd be me in my super form after releasing the seven Chaotic Crystals, or the Sonichu Ball Crystals as they are also known as.

 '''Alec''': Okay. So Collosal Chris-chan and uh, Sonichu, and he was in his [[Ultra Sonichu|ultra form]], I think-you two came to, well first of all you saw the drawing of Asperchu's house and you mistook that as my house. Just to clarify, that's not my house, [[14 Branchland Court|I made up that house, that-that came out of nowhere, I just decided hey, you know, a big dull-looking happy house]], that'd be funny as Asperchu's home, but, but anyway, you thought it was my house and you came to what you thought was my house and you broke into my house and after breaking and entering-which is a crime, by the way-you proceeded to hack into my computer, and I think you deleted the entire Asperpedia website, and then you deleted all my files of Asperchu comics and everything else, and then I think you stole some [[Dating education|dating program]] or something that you thought was on my-I, I mean this is a multitude of crimes, Chris, that was criminal intent. I mean, why did you do that, you know, those are illegal acts.

 '''Chris''': [''Another sigh.'']

 '''Alec''': You know, I mean, that's not a nice thing to do.

 '''Chris''': [''Defensively''] Yeah, well it wasn't very nice taking the Sonichu that was originally from CWCville and then claiming him to be Asperchu's brother.

 '''Alec''': Chris, I didn't show Asperchu breaking into Sonichu's house and destroying valuable documents on his computer. I mean this comic is going to be my lifeblood, this is my franchise, this is my multimedia empire I'm trying to build here, and you just destroyed it on a whim. I mean, why did you do that? I-I just don't get that. Asperchu ne-Asperchu has been nice to Sonichu since they've met, they've been friends and they've treated each other like brothers, and they fought battles side by side. I mean haven't you ever had a website hacked before? I have, it sucks, you know, do you know what it feels like to have your videos and computer hacked?

 '''Chris''': I-I have, truly I have, and it was not very nice; I had the original Sonichu site, which was [[CWC's Sonichu Site]] simply, originally on the Tripod web server, hacked into by one [[Clyde Cash]].

 '''Alec''': Well then you know how much it sucks, why would you do it to another person? I mean it's one thing if it never happened to you, if it never happened to you it's still bad but you can claim ignorance, but, but you-it happened to you, and then you turned around and did it to me. I mean, why the double standard, Chris, why is it okay to hack into my computer and destroy my files?

 '''Chris''': [''Groans, then sighs''.] Okay I'm gonna go ahead and- cause you gave me permission to call you, and I'm going to call you, naï- [static cuts off Chris before he completes the word 'naïve']

 '''Alec''': Chris, you're cutting off.

 '''Chris''': Because I have-I have tried to explain to you as clearly as possible, in my own best words I could come up with, that I'm getting tired of this long, drawn-out conversation, that obviously you're just too naïve to understand! Think about it! Think long and hard-read all my comic pages, from book number zero to the last-to the current page-

 '''Alec''': ...help me understand why you threatened me in videos and-and drew yourself breaking into my house and committing multiple felonies. That's what I'm asking an explanation for, I mean the ads, and the naming issue, we settled that, this is a new issue and I'm trying to talk it out with you.

 '''Chris''': Okay, yeah okay, well you referenced the Sonichu in your book to be the one from CWCville, and then making him, without my permission, Asperchu's brother. And then without my permission, you took the-you recreated the Chaotic Combo, and then reformatted their personalities in more ways than one, without my permission! And then you go kill-and then you go kill off with blood and gore detail, and then your recreation of Angelica-the flyer, the grass, and the fighter, who are also known as Angelica, Wild, and Punchy! How do you think I feel about that, how would you like it if I went into blood and gory detail of slicing and dicing Jonas Chu, that green one, [''Alec tries to interrupt''] Jivin, and Max? I'm sorry, what?

 '''Alec''': Oh, I just said the green one is, is Peter Chu. Um, okay, I understand why you're angry, but didn't we already establish that the characters I drew are not related to your Chaotic Combo? I mean, in your [[mailbag]], I've seen a lot of people have written to you about the Chaotic Combo, and, you know, other Asperchu similarities and things like that, and your response, almost always, is Alec Benson Leary and Asperchu have no relation to you whatsoever-

 '''Chris''': [''sigh''] In reference to the business, as in like, you know, I actually never originally gave you or Mao permission to put the ads on the CWCipedia in the first place, especially in such large proportions where I had to scroll down to even edit the page or even to log in. But I never even gave you permission to put the ads in the introductory box, which is a felony that [[Jack Thaddeus]] has violated before-

 '''Alec''': Yeah, yeah that Jack guy, that's the name of the guy I know that Mao bought the adspace from. He told me. But um, as I understand the way the ads work is you know, if a website hosts, you know, public adspace that can be purchased for advertising, anybody can buy the rights to advertise.

 '''Chris''': Yeah, I get that.

 '''Alec''': Yeah, so I mean, how is that illegal that I purchased the adspace? And you said it was illegal, you said it was wrongful a number of times, I know you've used that word-

 '''Chris''': Yeah. Because I was not in the loop about this...

 '''Alec''': Well, that's between you and your web manager. You should be in the loop about it, I agree about that, you should be in the loop about it. But I can't be held responsible if you didn't get that information from your webmaster.

 '''Chris''': [''Sigh.''] Alright, well listen, the battery power on my phone is running low, perhaps we could talk again another time. You take care-you take care, stay safe, bye now.

 '''Alec''': I'd like to talk-[Cuts off.]

{{succession|label=[[Alec Benson Leary calls]]|prevlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|First]]|nextlink=[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Alec Call 2]]|}}

==External Links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNQNdjFES7o The Call on Youtube]

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Template:Infobox/Audiofile

2010-04-18T18:58:27Z

MaesterTonberry:

<noinclude>'''''NOTE:''' This Infobox is for use ONLY with audio recordings, such as Phone-Calls.''

''For infoboxes, meant for other videos {{c|Infoboxes|go here}}.''</noinclude>
{| style="border: 1px solid #aaa; background-color: #f9f9f9; color: black; margin: 0.5em auto 0.5em auto; padding: 0.2em; font-size:89%; width:260px;"
|-
! colspan="2" style="background-color:#FFFF00; color:#008080; font-size:120%; padding:1em;" | ''{{{name}}}''
|- style="text-align:center;"
|- style="text-align:center;"
{{#if: {{{audio|}}} | {{!}} colspan="2" style="padding:0.5em;" {{!}} {{{audio}}} }}
|-
{{#if: {{{Stardate|}}} | {{!}} '''Stardate''' {{!!}} {{{Stardate}}} }}
|-
{{#if: {{{Featuring|}}} | {{!}} '''Featuring''' {{!!}} {{{Featuring}}} }}
|-
{{#if: {{{Subject|}}} | {{!}} '''Subject''' {{!!}} {{{Subject}}} }}
|-
{{#if: {{{Saga|}}} | {{!}} '''Saga''' {{!!}} {{{Saga}}} }}
|-
{{#if: {{{Other|}}} | {{!}} '''Other''' {{!!}} {{{Other}}} }}
|-
| colspan="2" style="background-color:#FFFF00; color:#008080; font-size:120%; padding:0.25em; text-align:center;" | Audio Recordings
|- style="text-align:center; font-size:95%;" valign="top"
| '''previous''' {{{previous}}}
| '''next''' {{{next}}}
|}
<noinclude> 
{{documentation}}

[[Category:Infoboxes]]</noinclude>

DPF phonecall

2010-04-18T18:29:38Z

MaesterTonberry:

On 15 [[January 2010]], the cast of "Digimon Parody Fandub" uploaded the audio of a phone call that they conducted with [[Chris]] to [[YouTube]].

==Part 1==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|jJgbVrFasxk}}</center>

===Transcript===
 '''Chris:''' Hello?
 '''Jynx:''' Hel-(cut off by static)
 '''Jack:''' Hi I'm *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' I'm sorry what?
 '''Jynx:''' Good evening.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, good evening.
 '''Jynx:''' We tried to conta-well I tried to contact you earlier, I wanted to ask permission to use something of yours. A character of yours.
 '''Chris:''' I see.
 '''Jynx:''' I, um, I own a comic called Marty-Bob, right? It's pretty popular. It's based off the series Negima, you may have heard of it. Have you?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, no. I have not.
 '''Jynx:''' Well, as you know, I am English, and it's rather popular over here, right? And your character, being pretty popular in England as well, um, I wanted to see if I could use him just as a cameo to say hi to Marty-Bob.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Well I-*cut off by Chris*
 '''Chris:''' Well, I give you, I give you permission to use my c-, use my Sonichu as a as a, in a cameo appearance in there, just make sure you reference me and the CWCipedia.
 '''Jack:''' We'll, we'll do that sir.
 '''Jynx:''' We'll link and everything and give credit to you *Text comes up reading 'Sonichu can come up and give Marty-Bob a handshake and then Marty-Bob can meet'* Sonichu and say he's awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah okay, that's fine.
 '''Jack:''' Also, I was wondering, I have a character I'd like to audition for you, for your Sonichu comic.
 '''Chris:''' I see. Hmm.
 '''Jack:''' His, his name is Poliochu, he has Polio, he's like the uh, clone of FDR and he has Polio, so he needs a wheelchair.
 '''Chris:''' I see, hmm, well you can send me a drawing of it, to my e-mail address or to the mailbag on the CWCipedia and I'll uh, I'll look at-I'll look the character over.
 '''Jynx:''' Will you look at 'em all of your e-mails?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah, I'll look at the e-mails.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay that's good.
 '''Jack:''' That's good, that's good. Also, um, are you getting those dastardly trolls? I mean, they're just so mean.
 '''Chris:''' Yes they are mean.
 '''Jynx:''' I liked your recent video where you spoke French or s-*static pause*
 '''Chris:''' *cutting in* Spanish.
 '''Jynx:''' You taught me how to say it it was like illis zububolis or something.
 '''Jack:''' What does that mean anyway what you said in Spanish?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah th- the meaning escapes me at the moment, but it's pronounced "uhcrepsa etah y uhcinos evol.
 '''Jack:''' Mhm.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, can I just say something?
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' I'm your biggest fan; you're so awesome.
 '''Chris:''' Thank you.
 '''Jack:''' You do not deserve any of the bad treatment towards you like, Clyde Cash, he's just a jerk and whatever that guy who says he's you but not as good looking.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So what is Asperchu?
 '''Chris:''' Okay, well Asperchu is not mine, it belongs to Alec Benson Leary and I have no connection to him whatsoever, except for him buying out the ad space and putting his ads on th-*cuts out*
 '''Jynx:''' What?
 '''Jack:''' Why would he do that to you?
 '''Chris:''' He's just being, he's just being mean and a jerk.
 '''Jynx:''' I thought that um, you guys were having a meeting. That's what you said in your video.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, no I challenged him to come and meet- challenged him to come to Virginia so we can see who stacks up better here.
 '''Jynx:''' Right.
 '''Jack:''' Did Clyde Cash ever come to your house and try to fight you?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, people have come to my house, and uh, gone so-gone as far as to egg my house.
 '''Jack:''' Egged? Your house has been egged?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' That's not very nice they're *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' It's a waste of eggs.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Eggs are supposed to be eaten.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah th-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts off Chris* They're made with french toast.
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' I wanted to ask you a question.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Y'know Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' How come he's got -chan at the end of his name but not -chu?
 '''Chris:''' It's a play off the word magician.
 '''Jynx:''' I see. I didn't know that! That's pretty cool, I've learned something new today!
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' But what's that, his species name is Magi-chan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' So, could I capture my own Magi-chan if it was in a pokémon game?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, not really. If I- if there was a pokémon game with all the Sonichu characters in there, you'd have to, uh, evolve it from a Sonee with a Moon Stone.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah, I see.
 '''Jack:''' Also I was wondering, uh, what is this A.D. Vision thing project you're making-you're going on talking about?
 '''Chris:''' Ah, uh, oh, turns out tha-turns out I was fooled there, apparently A.D. Vison went ou-went out of business in September 2009. I did not realize that until recently.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I got, I got to ask you a really important question.
 '''Jack:''' Who is Ginger? We just want to know; we're confused about that.
 '''Chris:''' She's a fan.
 '''Jack:''' She's a fan?
 '''Chris:''' Yeah.
 '''Jynx:''' Like us?
 '''Jack:''' *inaudible*
 '''Chris:''' She talked to me recently.
 '''Jack:''' Oh, where does she live?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, she lives in Florida.
 '''Jack:''' Florida? That's-
 '''Chris:''' *cuts in* Yeah.
 '''Jack:''' Pretty f-pretty far a way aways man.
 '''Chris:''' Well-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts in* Around.
 '''Chris:''' I wasn't doing anything lately, y'know?
 '''Jynx:''' Chris!
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Could I ask your opinion on something?
 '''Chris:''' Okay.
 '''Jynx:''' It's something you haven't released information or anything and it's so important I wanna ask you this.
 '''Chris:''' Mhm?
 '''Jynx:''' Um, do you like Digimon?
 '''Chris:''' Digimon's okay.
 '''Jynx:''' But you think poké-
 '''Jack:''' They're just a pretty ripoff of Pokémon right?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah I would dare say it's sort of a ripoff.
 '''Jynx:''' But, I, I like Digimon and I like Sonichu, because I'm awesome like that; that's how I roll.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay. Alright, that's cool.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you like Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' 'Kay.
 '''Jynx:''' Would you like to speak to Kermit the Frog?
 '''Chris:''' No. I-
 '''Jack:''' *cuts in* He has like the best voice of doing it though.
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah, I-I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris:''' Alright, I'll listen to your imitation of Kermit the Frog.
 '''Jynx:''' Okay, here it is, ready? *Mimics Kermit the Frog* Hi there, Kermit the Frog here speaking to Chris-Chan, which is pretty cool.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' You like it?
 '''Chris:''' It's okay...uh, *Mimics Kermit the Frog* *Inaudible mumbling in the voice* and sound like Kermit the Frog. Ladies and Gentlemen, *inaudible name* in the audience, yay!
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, wow! That was good at the end! That was excellent!
 '''Jack:''' Can you hear my- can you hear my Bill Cosby voice. Do you know Bill Cosby?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jack:''' Alright, here it is. *Mimics Bill Cosby* Hello Chris-Chan, with the bippin' and the boppin' and the hippin'. *Coughs*. God that hurt.
 '''Chris:''' *Mimicking Bill Cosby* Mmm, that's pretty good, but I think *inaudible* and we could talk all day long! And we could do all the jibba jabba blibba blabba.
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, uh, do you know who Cleveland Brown?
 '''Chris:''' Yep. *Mimics Cleveland* Oh yeah, I know Cleveland Brown. Yeah I watch the Cleveland Show. *Attempts Cleveland's laugh*
 '''Jynx:''' Oh, I like his laugh, it's like *mimics laugh*.
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed episode?
 '''Chris:''' Uh, I'm sorry, I didn- I didn't understand the question.
 '''Jack:''' When are you going to do a Metal Gear Solid themed comic ser-type of like, Sonichu?
 '''Chris:''' Well uh, maybe later, but not right now.
 '''Jack:''' Here, I could do, I could do I good Snake voice. Let's get into it. Listen.
 '''Chris:''' Mkay.
 '''Jack:''' *Mimicking Snake* Otacon, this is Snake. Where are we? *cough*
 '''Jynx:''' Is that the one from Super Smash Brothers?
 '''Jack:''' No.
 '''Jynx:''' Is-have you ever played Super Smash Brothers, Chris?
 '''Chris:''' Yep.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you have a friend code for it?
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, yeah, but it would be hard for me to get to it right now.
 '''Jynx:''' Ah.
 '''Jack:''' Ah okay.
 '''Jynx:''' I would love to play you because I actually don't have Snake in Brawl yet. I don't know how to unlock him.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, uh, I'm sorry, you don't-uh, you're talking about the Snake character, unlocking him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl?
 '''Jynx:''' Yeah.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm, you could look, you could look up the answer how to unlock him on GameFAQs, G A M E F A Q S dot com.
 '''Jynx:''' Chris, who do you use?
 '''Jack:''' He uses Sonic of course.
 '''Chris:''' Mmm.
 '''Jynx:''' Do you know that if you hack the game, you could mix Pikachu's move with Sonic, and then you can make, like Sonichu in brawl?
 '''Chris:''' Hmm, that's interesting.
 '''Jynx:''' That'd be cool. I used to do that; I used to hack Brawl at one point.
 *End of audio*

==Part 2==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|9FaRH3Ttsk8}}</center>

===Transcript===
{{Template:Transcription}}

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Phone calls]]

Mumble 3

2010-04-16T20:24:44Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Music, Alizée */

==Transcript==

==== Introduction, Audio Fail ====

'''Chris:''' There we are. [''Random background noise''] Hmm now... What now? Oh.

'''Julie:''' Hi Chris!

'''Chris:''' Hello.

'''Julie:''' Ho- [''audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' Uh, say that again? You kinda broke up there.

'''Julie:''' Hold on, let me adjust my mic- [''cuts out again'']

'''Chris:''' Oh! It's you!

'''Julie:''' [''muted''] Yes of course!

'''Chris:''' Huh.

'''Julie:''' [''Pause''] So how are you Chri- [''More audio failure'']

'''Chris:''' I'm okay Julie, how are you?

'''Julie:''' I'm wonderful, thank you. Everything at home o-

'''Chris:''' Everything's Okay- Everything's Okay at home. Uh, I mean It's only I think that was you asked-yeah. I know you just bought that mike but it seems to be failing at points. Oh well.

'''Julie:''' Uh, let me configure it really- [''cut''] Maybe I can increase the vol- [[''cut''].

'''Chris:''' If anything you might have to close it and relog back then to up after you get it configure correctly. I mean order-or-or to get to configure it correctly.

'''Julie:''' Well actually I did that, I logged back in after I configured it- [''cut'']

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well you should carry speaker a little longer there (?)

'''Julie:''' So- [''cut'']

'''Chris:''' [''Aggravated''] ''Sigh.'' Broke up again. [''Pause''] I mean you can tell when you're breaking up because you look at the you-your lips up next to your name on the thing here and you kinda get greyed out, and that means you're- that's kinda like when you get cut off. [''Pause''] Or when you're done speaking.

'''Julie:''' hey I, oh I think I know what you- Is it better now-

'''Chris:''' You got cut off again.

'''Julie:''' That's weir-

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either. You just got it- you just installed it so uh, hmm. This is like first install jitters, or something. I dunno.

'''Julie:''' Is it better now?

'''Chris:''' I heard your, eh, eh, Yeah. I mean, I was able to hear you clearly until the points where you got cut of so uh, uh, yeah. I mean, yeah, you know, try saying something longer and I'll let you know if you get cut off mid-sentence.

'''Julie:''' I hope this microphone does not cut out as that would be horrible.

'''Chris:''' Alright, I got- I had your full sentence there. I heard ya. I heard ya.

'''Julie:''' Alright, that is good-

'''Chris:''' Huh. You got cut off again.

'''Julie:'''That's weird, I don't know what could be causing it. I turned off everything else that was using the connection.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well we just, well- it's best to try to make the best- make the best of it. So you know, uh, I'll try to understand you up- I mean- until the points, I mean the points- I mean, as best as I can even if you get- even if you might get cut off sometime. But anyway it's-

'''Julie:''' I'm sorr- I'm sorry about that.

'''Chris:''' That's okay. Hmm. So uh, how are you?

==== [[chris and money|Money]], Jobs ====

'''Julie:''' I'm wonderful! Things in America are wonderf-

'''Chris:''' Yep, I hear that. I'm just sorry about uh, the rising cost of things due to the economic crisis and all.

'''Julie:''' Yes, it's very hard on me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Alright so, uh tell me- so you said you were uh working at fast food or something to uh, earn money?

'''Julie:''' Yes, I'm working at restaurants. I'm a professional cook. Sorry. My English is still bad.

'''Chris:''' You said you were a professional cook?

'''Julie:''' I am professional at cooking.

'''Chris:''' Oh, that's good. Maybe after you come over here I could try a little bit of your cuisine for lunch or dinner.

'''Julie:''' Yes, I would enjoy that.

'''Chris:''' I mean, mostly I just uh warm up a TV dinner, but you know I am able to uh, cooking things- uh, cooking things for my- cooking things for myself when I have the instructions in front of me and the ingredients. But it's kind of, like hmm, you know, [[Tour of Chris's House|a bit crowded in my kitchen in here]].

==== Food ====

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite thing to eat?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I like, mostly like [[Obesity|mac and cheese]].

'''Julie:''' I'm very good at cooking.

'''Chris:''' I'll take your word for it. And I'll look forward to uh, trying your-

'''Julie:''' [''Interrupting''] I'll be right back, sorry.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

[''brief pause'']

'''Julie:''' I'm back.

==== Lost Passwords ====

'''Chris:''' Okay. Let's- anyway you didn't answer my question how'd uh, did your passwo- how'd you get your password back after the previous time your brother changed it on ya?

'''Julie:''' Actually um, he actually just put it back to the original last. I'm not sure if he's gonna give it back this time, however.

'''Chris:''' Um. Hmm. Has he told you uh, me- he's probably just doing it just to annoy you but uh, maybe he- maybe uh, maybe he like, I don't know his mindset but maybe he wants something?

'''Julie:''' Perhaps.

'''Chris:''' I mean like did you ask him like, did you ever ask him like why did you change my password other than just to annoy me? What is it that you want?

'''Julie:''' I actually don't know why he chang- [''cut off again'']

'''Chris:''' It's like if you- [''Julie interrupts, brief pause''] It's like you got to try get into his head a little bit.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Like, you know, one thing you could do, you could, check out his room, see if you can find anything he's written down or look at, you know, look a clues in his room that describes him. Maybe you could, find something- find something there that uh, you can put in- put in common terms with or whatever, and uh, give him something that uh, makes him feel good from somewhere among those clues.

'''Julie:''' [''Enthusiastic''] Yes I could do that! That's a very good idea!

'''Chris:''' I mean, [[Chris's Room|my room]] is a slew of big clues. [''Chris pronounces "slew" as "slow"'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah so... what else do you want to talk about?

==== About Our Relationship... ====

'''Julie:''' Umm, I'm not really sure. Maybe we could talk about- I'm not sure. Maybe our relationship?

'''Chris:''' [''Sudden intake of breath, as though wincing in pain''] Oooh. Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Should I- Should I not bring this up?

'''Chris:''' No, it's okay, it's okay. [''Pause''] Mmm. Ummm. Yeah. I mean I'm just trying to think about what- what's a good- what's a, something to say at the moment. I mean you don't know what to say, you could say [[Mary Poppins|Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious]].

'''Julie:''' Ah. Have you heard from my friend Cameron Van- you know Cameron yet? Have you heard from him yet?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, Cameron?

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''Realizing error''] oh. Her. Sorry.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, possibly is that uh, Is that- I dunno is that like your aunt, still over in [[Molvanîa|Molvanîa]].

'''Julie:''' Well, I have unfortunate news about Molvanîa. It- it appears to have been destroyed. I know that sounds strange, but, I don't know what happened. I'm very worried.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Maybe I can find something on the-

'''Julie:''' I miss my hometown.

'''Chris:''' I hear ya. Hang on, I'll uh, I'll Google Molvanîa, see if I can-

'''Julie:''' [''Backpedaling''] no, that's alright, I'm pretty sure I know what happened.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Uh, tell me in your own words what you think happened.

'''Julie:''' I don't know, It's just, I think the dictator of Molvanîa, I think he was assassinated,

'''Chris:''' The dictator was assassinated.

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure. As far as I heard from Cameron before he- I lost all contact with him.

'''Chris:''' [''Incredulous''] You mean her, don't you?

'''Julie:''' Sorry, I keep getting confused, my English is awful. I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' It's okay, you're trying. You're doing- you're doing okay.

'''Julie:''' Thank you very much.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I think I'd like to talk about something else. I, you know.

'''Chris:''' That's fine, talk about anything.

==== How's Virginia? ====

'''Julie:''' So, how's [[Virginia]]?

'''Chris:''' It's okay. Uhh, you know, it's a good place to live. As, especially going out to [[Charlottesville]] and uh, whatnot, but it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Oh, that sounds wonder-

'''Chris:''' I mean, I can't, I mean I don't know what much to say, but uh, you know [[Bob|my Father]] could tell you, oh yeah, Virginia's a historic town, cuz, you know we got all the history from like, Thomas Jefferson and, oh yeah, the Monticello.

'''Julie:''' What do you like to do in Virginia?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. What Do I like to do in Virginia? Hmm. I dunno [''nervous laugh''] Been living in Virginia pretty much all my life so, pretty much just living my normal life at this point. Other than- other than that I can't really say, you know?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell what that includes? I really want to know what your life is like, I would love to know.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Ahh, let me think about that. My life is like, uh...

==== A Wild Clyde Cash Appears! ====

'''Julie:''' Oh no!

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Julie:''' I see [[Clyde Cash|Clyde's]] here. Uh oh.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Julie:''' Oh well, let's just ignore him.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like uh, he seems to be under the "Inactive" area.

'''Julie:''' Yeah no one can hear us here.

'''Chris:''' Oh, and uh, here's a note, it says that Clyde left the channel.

'''Julie:''' Oh, that's good.

'''Chris:''' In the left column here. Hmm. Don't really, I mean, don't really have much on my mind uhh, right now, let me see. Ah, mostly I've just been uh, collecting my thoughts and taking my time. You know, recovering from the internet, from the [[stress]] of the, the stress of the internet and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Yes, the internet can be a very stressful place, especially with all these [[jerks]] trying to make you mad.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah it can be very tiring is- yep. Very tiring.

'''Julie:''' You should stand up to them sometime. You should just tell them you're not going to take it anymore.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I think I, I pretty much do that, just like you know, like, I keep my cool- I kept my- pretty much kept my cool and not so much- [''Chris's cell phone alarm goes off''] Excuse me.

==== Alarms Are Distracting... ====

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' That was my phone, reminding me of, er, just a reminder.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' Uh, lost- lost my train of thought there.

'''Julie:''' Awww.

'''Chris:''' Don't you just hate that where you lose your train of thought and it's hard to recover?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I hate it so much.

'''Chris:''' I- yep I- I hear you there.

==== Bob and Snorlax ====

'''Julie:''' So, so how is your life? I mean, are things with your parents okay? I would love to hear.

'''Chris:''' Mmm, you know, uh, can't complain. It's uh, not to- not totally bad. It's okay. I mean, uh, it's-

'''Julie:''' Is your father giving you trouble again?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Uh not so much lately. Uh, I had to go downtown with him to get his pacemaker checked.

'''Julie:''' Oh, I hope he's okay.

'''Chris:''' D'awright.

'''Julie:''' How's [[Snorlax|your mother]]?

'''Chris:''' She's alright.

'''Julie:''' I heard her singing, what was it, [[Mumble 2|yesterday]]? She's a very good singer.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. You know I told her that, uh, you know. Ya'll- Ya'll on the Mumble here heard her singing and they gave you a compliment it's like you know, "Oh, I can't sing, I'm tone deaf. They're just lying to try to make you feel good." Just a little um, just a little mod- just a little modesty there. From her point.

'''Julie:''' Everything I said about her awesome singing. I- I- It was a hundred percent true Chris, I assure you.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know. I mean, I think she- I think she's a great singer too.

'''Julie:''' As do I.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, could you repeat that, what was that?

'''Julie:''' As do I, I agree with you.

'''Chris:''' Oh, as do you. That's what you said. Hm. It sounded like you said somethings, it sounded like you said "something, something why". Heh.

'''Julie:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, like, I dunno, heh. Could be asking a question like, "Why, blahdah blahda". But never mind about that. I mean, I mean- I mean I understand, I'm understanding you clearly. Up to like, you know, up to when you get cut off and whatever.

'''Julie:''' So apparently Clyde did get kicked from the Mumble server, so that's good.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Hopefully he's gone for good. He's been trying to promote his awful comic.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah I'm definitely gonna take- I'm definitely gonna- I've been taking some time, and I've been thinking about like you know doing a page at a time, and uploading that to my website. As, as I- as I draw the comic.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, Umm... I know maybe it's confidential, but could you tell me about- a bit about the next comic? I really want to hear.

'''Chris:''' Tough love, simply enough- in the first episode [[Wild]] and [[Simonla]] will meet in the [[Dating Education]] class, and it'll just be like, a simple romance, without them- with only the professor knowing it, the two get paired up uh, communicating with each other over- over, like internet and cell phone and whatnot in practice. And then they all love each other.

'''Julie:''' Cool. I look forward to reading about it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean, but, you would think, you know, Simonla is a ground/bug type and uh, Wild's a grass-electric. It's like they wouldn't, uh, hook up very well on the opposite traits. But you know, Wild don't- wild don't care. Loves her.

==== Music, Alizée ====

'''Julie:''' Wow. That sounds so nice. You know what, I'd like to change the subject a bit?

'''Chris:''' Uh, sure.

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you about your taste in music? I'm an [[wikipedia:Alizée|Alizée]] fan myself!

'''Chris:''' Uhh.

'''Julie:''' Can I show you one of her videos? Her videos?

'''Chris:''' Uhhh, no. Uh, no that's okay, but you said Alizée, I think I've heard that name mentioned before.

'''Julie:''' Yes, I believe it was mentioned uh, last time.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I kinda like mo- like uh, all types of [[Chris and music|music]]. Uh, some heavy metal, not so ehhh, but you know I'll play it on guitar hero, at least.

'''Julie:''' I've been trying to get Guitar Hero. That's one of the next games I've been planning to get.

'''Chris:''' Guitar Hero Metallica?

'''Julie:''' Well, even Guitar Hero Metallica, or maybe world tour.

'''Chris:''' World Tour's already out. With the band kit.

'''Julie:''' I can possibly get that.

'''Chris:''' Or you can- or you can get Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock or Aerosmith.

'''Julie:''' I hear there are some rock stars that are actually playable in Guitar Hero 3, who are they?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, I can't really, I don't really memorize- I don't really memorize the uh, playable characters, but in world tour I did create a playable version of myself.

'''Julie:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah there's a video on the [[YouTube]] that shows me playing with my character and the [[Gitar of Fail|Sonichu Guitar]].

'''Julie:''' Yeah, I noticed you played really well. Do you know how to play the real guitar?

'''Chris:''' Ehhh. No, but you know, the guitar, the plastic guitar's good enough for me, I mean, I feel it's good- good enough. Like playing a real guitar. [''Voice becomes very gloomy''] Even though it's not, but still, [''back to cheerful''] It's good enough for me!

==== Troll Wars VI: Return of the Clyde ====

'''Julie:''' Oh no. I think Clyde's back. Hopefully he doesn't notice this. Hopefully [''drown out by clattering noises''] -but let's just ignore him again.

'''Chris:''' I mean, yeah. He's not in- he's not in our private channel. So, he's not hearing us.

'''Julie:''' Yea- [''cut off again'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah but anyway- yeah, I like all kinds of music. Uh, but uh, you know, my favorite female pop star- my favorite female pop star-singer I'd say would be, would have to be [[Britney Spears]].

'''Julie:''' I agree, Britney spears is very nice.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== Attracted to Cartoons ====

'''Julie:''' You know, about your comic? I actually have a question I've been pondering for quite awhile.

'''Chris:''' Ask.

'''Julie:''' Ummm, do you find yourself attracted to your female characters you created at all?

'''Chris:''' Ah, do I find myself attracted to my female characters?

'''Julie:''' That you have created, yes. I'm sorry if it's a bit too much but I feel like I just, I've been pondering it.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Let me think about that, hmm. Are we including the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]?

'''Julie:''' Huh. What?

'''Chris:''' Uh, hang on a second, we've got an interloper here.

'''Julie:''' It must be a troll.

'''Chris:''' Oh, there he goes, he got kicked out.

'''Julie:''' Oh, there he goes. Thank goodness.

'''Chris:''' Yep. Ah, right so, are we talking about uh- so, in addition, yeah uh, the [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|human]] [[Allison Amber|female]] characters. Are we also talking about me being attractive to the Rosechus?

'''Julie:''' Yes, I've been pondering. I'm just wondering.

'''Chris:''' Yeah they'd- yeah I would say they all have a good ap- I would - they all think I'm handsome. Like my mother. My mother- my mother thinks I'm- my mother tells me constantly that I'm handsome and I agree with her, like when I look at myself in the mirror. But it's like, you know, every time she tells me I'm handsome I'm like, “If I'm so handsome why don't I have a girlfriend?”

'''Julie:''' I don't know! I can't imagine why either. You're- well the youth of god's world (?) you're just dashing.

'''Chris:''' I appreciate that.

'''Julie:''' It is my pleasure.

==== [[Chris and money|Money]] ====

'''Chris:''' [''Brief pause''] Let me go off-topic a bit. So, how- how long do you think it will be until you feel like you'll be able to afford to make the trip to uh, come to Virginia?

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure. Things are tough with the economic problems in America currently. Hopefully you'll be able to um, hopefully I'll be able to soon.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. You getting any financial help from your family? I mean uh, you can count [[Max|your brother]], but I'm not necessarily counting him.

'''Julie:''' Well, most of my family live in Molvanîa. For after- I mean, before it happened. I hope they're okay.

==== Clyde Speaks! ====

'''Clyde:''' I'm here Chris...

'''Julie:''' Clyde?! What are you doing here?

[''Chris gives a stress sigh'']]

'''Clyde:''' I just wanted to stop by and say hi, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Get out.

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Clyde:''' Look Chris, Chris. I just wanna tell you something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah wh-

'''Clyde:''' I'm off my medication right now, I'm off my leia (presumably leash) and I'm still angry at you now. Last time was a mistake. I shouldn't, [[Vivian]] told me... [''exhales''] Oh god. Tell me Chris. I just want you to answer one thing.

'''Chris:''' What is it.

'''Clyde:''' Why haven't you killed me yet? Why haven't you killed me yet.

'''Julie:''' [''Pause''] Chris I think he's trying to tick me.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Julie:''' Clyde, how did you get in here?!

'''Clyde:''' [''Short whisper, indistinct'']

'''Julie:''' You must be on your drugs again, you jerk!

'''Clyde:''' Not this time. Not this time. I was being too nice last time, obviously. That was me on drugs. I was too nice when I was on drugs.

'''Chris:''' You know Clyde, I have an answer- I do have an answer for you. I haven't killed you yet because you're doing a good job doing it to yourself.

'''Clyde:''' Uhhh... I haven't attempted to kill myself. Ever.

'''Chris:''' Druggie.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I don't think he's gonna leave. I'm scared. What if he tells all the other jerks what you've been saying? What if he knows?! No. I don't know. [''Clyde momentarily interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' He knows nothing. He's been mostly out of this conversation.

'''Clyde:''' I know everything. Ever.

'''Chris:''' Op. There we go, he got kicked out. [''pause''] There you go he got kicked out. Yeah but I think most- I think- I think we're safe because he did not hear most of our conversation since, you know, he was mostly in the inactive column.

==== Clyde Leaves ====

'''Julie:''' I have to be right back soon.

'''Chris:''' Okay.

'''Julie:''' So there should be something we can do about Clyde.

'''Chris:''' But uh, like uh- I'm not too worried about him. I mean I'll deal with him- [''Julie interrupts''] I mean I'll deal with him when uh, he pops in.

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' According to [[Cogsdev]], he says that uhh Clyde shouldn't be able to come back. [''pause''] Hmm, right so we were-

'''Julie:''' It must be another troll.

==== Chris talks to Cogsdev ====

'''Chris:''' Nah, that's okay. They're taken care of... They're being taken care of- they're taken care of. But anyway getting back to our conversation, talk about uh, yeah you tried- I was asking you if you had any [[Monthly Tugboat|financial aid]] from your family. But uh, then you said that they- the troubles in Molvania and such. Uh. Yeah, but mostly uh- any help at all from your family? Financially. [''pause''] Julie? Okay.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Uhh, Cogsdev, you can- you heard the whole conversation, didn't you? [''Pause''] Oh. Okay. [''unclear mumbling, pause''] Oh, okay, well that's okay, you didn't have to uh, come into the channel, but uh, yeah okay but anyway so what's your question?

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Active manner. Hmm. Yeah cuz I like- cuz I like to uh, hmm. But I mostly am attracted to women so when I draw my female Characters I like to uh... with like you know I, yeah. I like to make them attractive. I have done, uh, hmmm. [''pause''] I can't really uh, hmmm. No, I would not have uh, sex with any of them but it's like you know, uh.. It's like but you know, I love them as if they were my friends or uh, or like you know, my brain children. But I would never have sex with them. I mean it's like uh, alright, yeah, Cogsdev, I know you're a girl and I will take your word for it on that, but uh, yeah but, yeah. It's like uh, you have- you would have- if you had a son, wouldn't you want to make him look attractive?

[''Pause']

'''Chris:''' Alright, there you go, you'd dress him up as nice- as nicely as possible. [''Pause, then inaudible mumbling''] Obviously I watched uh, yeah, I did watch [[Pornography]] and then I did get the frustration from the e- from between the [[ED]] page it- the page and the [[trolls]]. But it's also like, you know uh, I've all- I've wanted to do something like that, you know uh, just to stretch uh an adult muscle in my head. And plus, if you'll look at the, uh, at the lovey-dovey non-nudity scenes like uh, you know just the embracing and the kissing. They're like my best works of- they're like my best examples of [[art]]. It's like even though I'm a frustrated [[virgin]], I can draw romance very well.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I just- but- you know, a bunch of times I most but- like majority of- like most other people I'm [[random]]. And I'll uh, I'll never know what I'm gonna- sometimes I never know what I'm gonna do next. If I'm- um- what I mean I work out- I don't think- sometimes I don't think I feel. If I wanna do something to- just for the heck of it then I'll do it. But yeah, the [[comic]] is mostly intended for children.

[''Pause, [[sigh]]'']

'''Chris:''' But it's also like you know, it's- I'll figure that it's also like it's intention for like when they get older. Years later they're- they're in their teenage years and they're like uh, they're looking back at the earlier stuff and it's like “Oh that was so childish”. But then it's like you know I- I added this uh- this- the uh, the T-rated or the- or adult materials I pretty much did. It's like uh, they could relate better- they could like relate to that in their adult- in their teenage and adult years. Just uh- just uh- just a small branch out, if you will.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' More of a- I would say that uh, related to like what I would like in my romantic love life. Or like, you know, when I have my romantic relationship with my sweetheart. That's pretty much- I'm gonna be doing it. And also with that uh, also good advice for uh, those that don't know for themselves. Like I'm working on the [[dating education]] episode I was just telling Julie about a little bit. But yeah, that 9-year-old who wrote [[How to Talk to Girls|that book]] pretty much took the words out of my mouth, and then some, but mostly-

==== Julie Returns ====

'''Julie:''' I'm back Mr. Chandler!

'''Chris:''' [''Laughs''] Oh that's- that was fun. I was just talking to Cogsdev uh, pretty much.

'''Julie:''' Ah, I see!

'''Chris:''' you know it's just-

'''Julie:''' So, did I miss anything important?

'''Chris:''' Ahh, not really. Just answered the- I just answered a couple of her questions.

'''Julie:''' Oh, alright. Wait, how did- huh. Oh, nevermind. [''pause''] So I'm sorry I had to take a brief absence. My brother called me for help with something.

'''Chris:''' I see. Hmmm. I'm sure Cogsdev won't mind but I'm just gonna see if I can... how to do it here it says “kick and mute” I just want- I just want to move- oh, she moved herself. Okay. So, alright so, what did he want? You to help him with?

'''Julie:''' He just- he just wanted to help- me to help him with um, from the kitchen.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I see. That's good. Hmm.

==== Non-Sonichu Characters ====

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I just thought of another question while I was helping him in the kitchen.

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' I noticed that all your characters are indeed- well, most of them are indeed Sonichus and Rosechus.

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Do you plan to make any other characters that are not Sonichus and Rosechus? Like that character I gave to you earlier?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Possibly. But you know that there are some, there are other animal characters outside that, the Sonichus and Rosechus, you know, there's [[Flame the sunbird]].

'''Julie:''' Yes there is him. I-

'''Chris:''' Of course we have the human characters.

'''Julie:''' Yes I know, but aside from them, do you plan on making any other non-Sonichu or Rosechu characters?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, possibly for like you know uh, one way or another hero villains, side characters, It just-

'''Julie:''' I look forward to it!

'''Chris:''' Time will tell. And uh... here's a thought, after uh, you move to uh, Virginia, and you come be- and you come be with me, then uh, it's like you could help me work on that. Create those characters.

'''Julie:''' I am pretty good at character design. I've made a few characters like the one you've seen before.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I wanna ask.

'''Chris:''' Hmm?

==== [[Monthly Tugboat]]s ====

'''Julie:''' You said before that you do get money every month, is this not right?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, I do get, yeah I do get a mo- [[Monthly tugboat|social security]].

'''Julie:''' Well, you must have more money than I. Can you try to come to Ohio sometime? Or would you prefer if I came to your house.

'''Chris:''' I'd rather uh, you came to my house. Cuz I just don't feel comfortable traveling long distances, uh by myself at least.

'''Julie:''' I guess, but I've never been in America myself either. I'm somewhat worried myself.

'''Chris:''' Best thing you can do to relive that tension is just to, take a deep breath, once in awhile, take your time. You know, quote unquote stop and smell the roses.

'''Julie:''' Alright I guess.

'''Chris:''' You know it's like, uh, you don't have to uh, be in a hurry to get from point A to point B. It's just like, you can space it out in- you can space it out in your own mind, at your own individual pace. As long as you go.

'''Julie:''' Yeah, I think I'll try uh, slowly move over. Hopefully I'll get there this year. If I'm lucky.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah this year. Or uh, I dunno. I'll tell ya what uh, it may be possible, but I might uh, be able to board you here if uh, board you here in my- board you here in my room until uh you get uh, until you get an apartment for yourself, you know? Until you get here.

==== Things Are Different in Molvanîa ====

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' In Molivania men indeed do come to the womens houses first. But how things are different here? I figured that they have the same rules.

'''Chris:''' Well you know, same more or less. But it's like uh, most people are more comf- most men are more comfortable with uh, what they call a “Sadie Hawkins” situation because uh- alright yeah, Sadie- it's uh, pretty much just fictional character Sadie Hawkins, you can look her up on uh Wikipedia or something.

'''Julie:''' I think I will.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but, mostly it's like uh, no guy would- every- every guy was like afraid to uh, talk to her so, she pretty much did the asking of the guy- asking to the guys. And uh, they would most likely say yes but- yeah so, she pretty much started a trend of women asking the guys or going to them.

'''Julie:''' I see.

'''Chris:''' And I just, for a long while I felt more comfortable- more comfortable in a [[wikipedia:Sadie_Hawkins_Day|Sadie Hawkins]] situation.

'''Julie:''' Uh huhh.

'''Chris:''' Like you know uhhh, pretty much the women- pretty much the women coming to me that's uh, pretty much why during my in-person experiences, during my sweetheart search in the earlier years when I actually were, in- actually was in the lo- in the real life locations. I was waiting for the women to come to me. Cuz I was just shy and uncomfortable- I just was shy mostly.

'''Julie:''' But you don't need to be shy around me, you know me, you trust me completely, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. But still-

==== Don't Be Afraid ====

'''Julie:''' You shouldn't be scared.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but also there's the uh, there's like role troubles and my fam- and my mom would- and my mom would worry and all that sort of- all that sort of-

'''Julie:''' [''interrupting''] my brother worries about my safety. You know, he doesn't want me to get hurt out there because the world is a mean place.

'''Chris:''' I hear- I hear you there.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I'm still worried.

'''Chris:''' Sometimes you just gotta take a plunge. I mean, listen to me, talking like this. It's like I should be taking plunges for myself. Hmm. Here's some thing-

'''Julie:''' [''interrupting''] Well, I guess I could try.

'''Chris:''' I would appreciate that. I really would.

'''Julie:''' I- I will- I promise you right now, I just want you to know, that I will consciously try to get to Virginia in this year. I will try my very hardest.

'''Chris:''' Thank you. I want you to know I mean that from my heart. Thank you Julie.

'''Julie:''' You are very welcome Chris. But again, I'm worried. What if Clyde- what if he attempts to rape me as he did with [[PandaHalo|Panda]]? I'm worried. Worried for my own safety.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but uh, as long as you don't uh, put it on the internet where you're currently living, then uh-

==== Clyde the Stalker ====

'''Julie:''' Yes but he's able to follow me. I think I've seen a car around my house- someone... someone Asian in it? I think Clyde is Asian, I'm worried. He looked in with an evil glare, I'm worried. I think it was half-Asian actually, I'm not really- I'm just really scared that if I try and leave my house that he's gonna do awful things to me. [[sex tape|Awful horrible things]] to me! I'm scared Chris.

'''Chris:''' I hear you. I feel for you. I'd be scared too.

'''Julie:''' But I don't think! I- I don't think he'd rape you. Which is why I think maybe you should come- I apologize for the background noise, TV is on.

'''Chris:''' That's okay. Uhhh, but you- surely that guy cannot be out there all the time.

'''Julie:''' Yes but I see his car even at night. I have a feeling he may be stalking me but I don't know where he is and I'm scared to call anyone about it.

'''Chris:''' Well do you have his license plate number?

'''Julie:''' But Chris I- no I don't. But, I know Chris, that- you're tough Chris. I actually- I believe in you. You are the strongest person I've ever met. You're tough! I know you are. I know you've described yourself a couple times but, you are the strongest person I know. I know this! I want you to protect me Chris. Can I please trust you? With my life? Do you think that would be...

'''Chris:''' Alright you can trust- I'm- you can trust me to protect you.

'''Julie:''' Thank you Chris I apprecia [''audio cut off''].

'''Chris:''' Yes. I will protect you.

'''Julie:''' Yeah the TV is extremely loud. I should ask my brother to turn it down.

'''Chris:''' Actually I'm not hearing your tel- I'm not hearing your television.

'''Julie:''' Huh.

'''Chris:''' So you know, it's okay at this point.

'''Julie:''' Alright. [''brief pause''] Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Thank you. I'm happy that I could trust you. And I'm happy that you can also trust me.

'''Chris:''' I'm happy too. That uh, you're able to uh, to trust me very much as well and that you understand me very well. Makes me feel better. Makes me feel happier.

'''Julie:''' I'm very, it's my pleasure making you feel happy, Chris. It's my ple- [''Audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh, Cogsdev uh, Okay, uh, did you have another question or something?

'''Julie:''' I'll be right- [''Audio cuts out'']

'''Chris:''' [''to Cogsdev''] oh yeah well we were just talking uh, but yeah, Julie will be right back so uh, it's okay. Did you have something else on your mind?

[''Pause'']

==== He's Outside! Oh no! ====

'''Julie:''' So anyway, uh, yes I do see someone outside my house. I don't know who it is.

'''Chris:''' Just uh, just try not to think about it.

'''Julie:''' I won't.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I mean uh, it's not like you saw- I mean, it doesn't- it not- it's not hold it- it does not look like he's looking a [Megatron Gun|gun], is he?

'''Julie:''' I'm not sure, he's holding something. I'm worried.

'''Chris:''' Well just- just best not to- to try not to think about it.

[pause]

'''Julie:''' Someone's pounding on my door.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Someone's pounding on your door...

'''Julie:''' I'm gonna to go lock it. I'm worried, Chris. I'm gonna go lock it.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Oh- it was... I looked outside, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Uh huh?

'''Julie:''' It turns out it was a salesman.

[''Chris gives a maniacal, crazy laugh'']

'''Chris:''' Ahh, that's a relief.

'''Julie:''' I'm sorry, I- I acted so silly!

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but it's okay- it's only- it's only human. You're only human.

'''Julie:''' I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' It's okay, we're all human. I mean, I was scared for you too. [pause] I was pretty much quaking over here!

'''Julie:''' I was so scared! I'm so silly.

'''Chris:''' It's a'right. I'm here for you.

[pause]

'''Julie:''' I appreciate that, Chris.

[pause]

==== Now That Julie's Not About To Get Stabbed, Let's Babble About Cars ====

'''Julie:''' So. I think I would like to change the topic if that's a'right?

'''Chris:''' Sure. Whatcha wanna talk ab-

'''Julie:''' How do you like [wikipedia:Burnout_(video_game)|Burnout], Chris?

'''Chris:''' It's- it's alrigh...t. Yeah... get to cruise around...

'''Julie:''' Maybe we should race sometime.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. I did notice in a- uhh- in a- in a trailer that, uh... apparently uh, the concept Camaro that [[wikipedia:Bumblebee_(other_incarnations)#2007_Transformers_film|Bumblebee]] was, uh... is in the game too.

'''Julie:''' Yeah I heard they're actually releasing uhh... I forget the exact name, but they're actually gonna... release [[wikipedia:DeLorean_DMC-12|the same car]] from [[wikipedia:Back to the Future]].

'''Chris:''' Huh. That's interesting. By the way you know, I also do have the music video, uh- that was on the Playstation Network for a limited time- uh, Fast Car...

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's basic- I forgot who was the guy who... sang it, but I do uhh have the MP3 of it as well. But, anyway, in the beginning it's like- this person who has a PSP... he's getting a message from- from the guy doing the song... from his Playstation 3... or his PSP or something like that. And then he gets into Burnout, then gets his license... does- a his video with, uh... car action and such. [''Chris' voice fades out'']] I forgot how it goes. <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Mmm. I could send the video over the Playstation Network I would, but apparently they only will allow you to send photos or... something- I don't know how to send videos.

'''Julie:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I do have it on my Playstation 3.

[pause]

==== Oh Chris, You're The Master Of Subtlety ====

'''Julie:''' When- When I do go to Ruckersville, Virginia with you... I would love to play Guitar Hero with you... and Burnout, and all the games. I would love to just play for hours with you.

'''Chris:''' I would love that too. Play with you.

'''Julie:''' Huh.

'''Chris:''' You know, in [[wikipedia:Guitar_Hero_Encore:_Rocks_the_80s|Guitar Hero: Encore... Rock the 80's]]... the, uh encore number was uh... '[[wikipedia:Play_With_Me|Play with me]]'.

'''Julie:''' Oh, cool! That's... quite the coincidence.

'''Chris:''' So... [''Chris does a bizarre voice here''] come play. Come plaaaay!

'''Julie:''' Haha- I will!

'''Chris:''' Come play. ... and maybe... you know, there may be... [[hanky panky|other things]].

'''Julie:''' Heh!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Other... fun things. [''Chris has a lecherous tone to his voice.'']

'''Julie:''' I hear you!

'''Chris:''' Just- just each other on the couch... or on my bed. [''Transcriber's note: Chris DEFINITELY needs to be on a couch. Just not in the way he's thinking.'']

'''Julie:''' I can't wait.

'''Chris:''' ... Yeah. [''stress sigh''] This point yeah. Pretty much, uhh.. but don't quote me- um, I don't want you [[CWCki|spreading it around]] and uh... well yeah, at this point, uh... eh... [''Chris confuses Sarah and Panda'']] Sarah... Panda is gone. I'll just let her fly away right now... to uh... to Clyde, if she is going there, just let her fly- just let her- I'll just let her go. I'll give you my-

'''Julie:''' I'm real- I'm very sorry to hear Panda has left you. And after all this time and you loved her. And she would just leave you for that.

'''Chris:''' It's okay. [[Chris and Empathy|I'm able to recover.]] Then... move on.

'''Julie:''' I hope so.

'''Chris:''' But anyway. Uhh, Julie- I'll let you take my virginity.

'''Julie:''' [''muted''] Thank you.

'''Chris:''' After you get here and we spend... [[third date|plenty of time]] together and get to know each other in person.

'''Julie:''' I look forward to that, 100% Chris.

'''Chris:''' You've come so far. You'll be the uh- the wife- the one who actually made it.

==== Chris The Cherry Popp'n, Prematurely Ejaculating Machine! ====

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Oh geah. How do you think our first time would- [''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I'd do the best I can. [''Chris gives a nervous, scared laugh''] Hopefully not prematurely ev-ejaculate.

'''Julie:''' Hope not! I wanna enjoy it as much as I can.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, certainly I would try my best to make it as... satisfactory as possible. I mean, I've watched a lot of pornography, educational.. or, uh just... sets or uh, and I've learned from that.

'''Julie:''' I see. What position would you like best? Can I ask?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I don't know. Cowgirl.

'''Julie:''' I've heard of it. I think I might enjoy it.

'''Chris:''' You're on top.

'''Julie:''' [giggle] Wait, how would I be on top?

'''Chris:''' I'm on my back-

'''Julie:''' Oh yeah, I remember.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Mmm. So yeah, Julie, you know, come here as soon as possible... If you can make it by- if you can make it for even at least a visit... on my, by my, on my birthday... later this month... I would appreciate that.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I promise you, I will try my absolute hardest to visit you on your birthday.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Too bad you can't see me smile, because [[creepy stare|I'm smiling for you]].

'''Julie:''' Well, there's always... S-Skype, but... nah. Not right now.

'''Chris:''' It's okay. [''pause''] There's also Playstation Network Chat. I have Playstation Eye. But uhh-

'''Julie:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' -unfortunately, your brother... maybe he'll- maybe he'll give it back to you.

==== The First Time OH GOD. ====

'''Julie:''' I hope so. Hey Chris, I know you might not want to, I'm just asking, but do you think you could describe the first time?

'''Chris:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Julie:''' For me?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... I tell you what, how about I uh... type it up and send it to you on multiple messages on PSN...

'''Julie:''' Aww, are you sure?

'''Chris:''' Cuz... cuz I can't recollect it off the top of my head, and it's a lot of detail.

'''Julie:''' But you can stay... I'll stay for the whole thing! It's a lot easier to say it in words. Please Chris?

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' For me?

'''Chris:''' I might. It's gonna take me... a while to recollect.

'''Julie:''' I'll wait the entire time.

'''Chris:''' You are a trooper.

'''Julie:''' And it doesn't have to be perfectly accurate.

'''Chris:''' Lemme just ask you though, out of curiosity... are you a virgin?

'''Julie:''' Indeed I am. And I'll gladly let you take it.

'''Chris:''' Let's take each other.

'''Julie:''' Uh huh.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [pause] Take it as a compliment, you're making me hard.

'''Julie:''' Okay, so can you describe it? For me?

'''Chris:''' Yeah okay I'm trying- okay, mmm.

'''Julie:''' I will patiently wait.

==== I HAVE TO TRANSCRIBE THIS?! WHAT THE HELL MAN! WHAT THE HELL! ====

'''Chris:''' We will firstly make out.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hmm. During that day I would have eaten plenty of strawberries.

'''Julie:''' I love strawberries. Lemme tell you Chris...

'''Chris:''' Mmm?

'''Julie:''' I'm [[mass debating|masturbating]] right now to this thought. So please continue.

'''Chris:''' We're making out. Mmm. We're... I'd let you... I'd let ya... pull my pants down, and let you warm me up a bit.

'''Julie:''' I would love to.

'''Chris:''' Uhhgh... You wouldn't mind giving- uh, you wouldn't mind giving me a, uh... blowjob?

'''Julie:''' I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind at all.

'''Chris:''' So uh, you just imagine it... and you're enjoying it I think?

'''Julie:''' Of course I am.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. You have my right hand on... your left shoulder.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' J-just just- just having it there.

'''Julie:''' Yes!

==== Chris Admits To Probable Premature Ejaculation ====

'''Chris:''' Mmm. A'right yeah, then eventually yeah... You would pretty much, eventually uh, you might- you might get some of the premature stuff... at least that's like, out of the way. [''Chris inhales nervously'']

'''Julie:''' We would continue after that, right?

'''Chris:''' I still have a lot more... I still got a lot more tiger in my tank. Rawr.

'''Julie:''' Me too.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

==== Return to Ear Rape ====

'''Chris:''' Let's say we, uh... undress each other.

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''Julie sounds bored'']

'''Chris:''' I'll unhook your bra.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

'''Chris:''' Then I would, uh... be... be marveling at your... at your... nipples.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Chris:''' Cuz you've already marveled at my [[duck|dick]]...!

'''Julie:''' [''pause''] Excuse me?

'''Chris:''' You're pretty- I mean-

'''Julie:''' Can you repeat that?

'''Chris:''' I said, you would have already marveled at my... dick.

'''Julie:''' Yes I have.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Then we just- then we'd just be undressing each other... at this point. Then I'd know that it's your turn. I'll massage your breasts with my hands and I'll have my mouth at your pussy.

'''Julie:''' Mmm... I would enjoy that very much.

'''Chris:''' Yes. There you go, massaging and giving me... my head.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

==== Julie Encourages Chris ====

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yeeees?

'''Julie:''' As I am... are you too... masturbating to this?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I don't have my hand... on me.

'''Julie:''' I was wishing maybe we could... do it together.

'''Chris:''' Mmm... let's call this a little rehearsal. We don't necessarily need to let anything go with the moment.

'''Julie:''' Please continue though.

==== Sexy Time Again! ====

'''Chris:''' You know what? I just grabbed it.

'''Julie:''' I'm happy to hear.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's, it's not hanging out- but I'm grabbing it. You made me grab it.

[''Julie giggles twice'']

'''Chris:''' Then eventually, uh... I'll give it to you first doggy style.

'''Julie:''' Thank you. [''pause''] Please continue.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. In and out, in and out... ... mmm.
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|right|SEVEN INCHES MY MORBIDLY OBESE ARSE.]]
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you something? How big is it?

'''Chris:''' It can go up to seven inches. [''Transcriber's note: The picture to your right is both horrible and illuminating.'']]

'''Julie:''' Oh wow! I'd love that. [''pause''] Please continue, I'd love to hear it. I love to hear this- thank you!

'''Chris:''' So... just let it play in your imagination. In and out, in and out- doggy style!

'''Julie:''' Yay!

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Then eventually... I'd fall towards you and we'd both lay together on the bed, side by side... I mean we are lying- we are laying on our sides. I am behind you.

'''Julie:''' Ohh.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris puts on another retarded voice.'']] My dick is still in your pus-sey, and my fingers are making sure it stays in there.

'''Julie:''' Hmm... Would you do it [[homo|up the butt]]?

'''Chris:''' [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|Not on the first time]].

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right.

'''Chris:''' We'll enjoy the moment.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. I am.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''retard-o voice returns''] In and ooooout, in and oooooout. It... feels good.

[retarded, incomprehensible stammering]

'''Chris:''' [''more retarded voice''] And pretty soon, and pretty soon the cowgirl... You're on top! You're on top of meeee... you're riding-

'''Julie:''' I would ride that so much.

'''Chris:''' -me, you're riding me hard.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm.
[[Image:Strawberries.png|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
'''Chris:''' B-but then, but then... [''Chris suddenly switches to his normal voice''] By the way I would be wearing a condom. So like you know, so like you know I have no problem wearing it, so if I got inside you and be protected... or I could like pull it out, and go right all onto... your bosom. Or into your mouth. Whatever you want. I'll give you a pearl necklace, or I'll... feed it to ya.

'''Julie:''' Ahh.

'''Chris:''' What do you want. What is it you desire.

'''Julie:''' Maybe just... to have it. Maybe just to eat it, I suppose. You did say it would taste like strawberries.

'''Chris:''' That's because I would have eaten a bunch of strawberries beforehand.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' So... mmm. There you go. [''retarded voice returns''] Huh huh... in the mouth! [''normal''] You're enjoying that.

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. And then we would pretty much... [[recycling|clean each other up in the bathroom]].

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Chris:''' After that. Or we'd just hang around in the bed. W- W-

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other for a second or so'']

'''Julie:''' Excuse me for a second, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' [''Bored monotone''] I think... I'm cumming.

'''Chris:''' Ho- ho boy!

'''Julie:''' Thank you so much Chris! That was a wonderful story. I hope that some day it will be a reality.

'''Chris:''' We'll soon see, won't we?

'''Julie:''' I hope so.

==== Getting in Contact IRL ====

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Is it possible you could take a picture of yourself... and send it to me in a Playstation Network... message?

'''Julie:''' I will try and get a camera, yes!

'''Chris:''' I like that. Oh, by the way, uhh... you do have my phone number right?

'''Julie:''' Uhhm- not yet, but I haven't been able to get hold of a phone, only at my current workplace. I was a- I was pretty desperate to find a place to live so I wasn't able to actually get a phone yet. But I would love to have it, so I can call it once I get to that point where... I can get one.

'''Chris:''' A'right well uh, you have uh... a pencil and paper?

'''Julie:''' Uh huh, I do.

'''Chris:''' A'right well you can call me on my cell, it's uh... 760-0848, area code 434.

'''Julie:''' One more time please?

'''Chris:''' I should uhh start from the beginning, it's uh, (434) 760-0848.

'''Julie:''' I- [''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Got that?

'''Julie:''' Uh huh, indeed I did.

'''Chris:''' A'right, read that back to me.

'''Julie:''' A'right. [''pause''] (434) 760-088- sorry. (434), 76...0-084...8.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's right.

'''Julie:''' Good.

'''Chris:''' After you get your phone, let me know your number... uh uh- message on the Playstation Network at work-

'''Julie:''' A'right-

'''Chris:''' -or whenever we talk in private, and then I'll know it's your phone number.

'''Julie:''' Mmm hmm! I'll try get a phone soon.

'''Chris:''' Okay. Good. Mmm. And uh- you know what? You made me feel good, even though I [''Windows beeping in the background''] didn't [[Chris Loses It|lose it]] right away, you made me feel good.

'''Julie:''' Hmm! I'm happy.

'''Chris:''' I'm happy I made you feel wonderful... as well.

'''Julie:''' Hmm, you did.

'''Chris:''' I think it'll be better... when we're actually better in person.

'''Julie:''' It will.

'''Chris:''' You know what? I'm imagining myself leaning towards you, and my forehead's touching your forehead...

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' ... and we're looking at each other eye to eye...

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Mmm. [''pause''] And then what happens?

'''Chris:''' [''Chris snorts''], [''pause''] I dunno, we just... be emotional and then... and then we make out some more. [''Chris laughs'']

'''Julie:''' I look forward to it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, let's be emotional in person, together, when it gets to that point.

==== Julie AFKs Out, Some Trolls Laugh ====

'''Julie:''' Yes. [''pause''] I'll be right back, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Okay, me too.

'''Julie:''' A'right.

[''Sound of random junk being moved'']

'''Julie:''' Umuhh- I'll be back in about five minutes.

'''Basement Rosechu:''' In addition, this partnership is a better [''inaudible''] ability, will allow you to [''inaudible''] for any reason. We are a rapidly changing market, and under- [''Presumably, Chris tracks down the escaped rodent and murders her'']

[''Ominous silence'']

'''Troll:''' [''faint''] Oh... god...! ...Huhuh...

[''Sound of typing'']

[''Silence'']

[''Giggling and slapping of thighs in the background'']

'''Troll:''' [''faint''] What the... fuck.

==== Julie Returns, Chris' Parents ====

'''Julie:''' Chris?

'''Chris:''' Just a second, I gotta put my earphones back on. [''pause''] Okay, so you were say-

'''Julie:''' If I may ask?

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Julie:''' Um-

'''Chris:''' Oh, you-y-y-

'''Julie:''' -would your parents mind?

'''Chris:''' My parents mind what?

'''Julie:''' If I came over to your house and we did the business? [''pause''] Would they mind? Would they be okay with it? I hope so.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, I think they're- I think they're- they're cool.

'''Julie:''' I would love to meet your father and mother.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. And I- and I would- Imma let them know about you as well. They're looking forward to meeting you as well. You know, in introduction.

'''Julie:''' Mmm? Can you say that again?

'''Chris:''' Mmm?

'''Julie:''' I didn't hear you.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I said um- I'll tell- I'd talk to my mother, and let her know about uh you, and after you come over I'll be only too glad to uh, introduce you to [[Cole|the whole family]].

'''Julie:''' I'm happy to see that- to hear that.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' So Chris, mostly I've been talking about- mostly I've like been starting to talk... is there anything I can talk about? Anything I can answer for you?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']] Uhh, nothing comes to my mind right now, it's- it's pretty much... blank, you know? Hmm.

==== The Future ====

'''Julie:''' Hmm, a'right. [''pause''] Hey Chris, how do you think your future will be like?

'''Chris:''' H-How do I think my future will be like?

'''Julie:''' Yes! Either yours or mine and yours.

'''Chris:''' Well uh you know, you know, for me at least you know, eventually, I would be married and... have my daughter named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].

'''Julie:''' Hopefully you can be married to me, and I can be the mother. [''pause''] Chris, I would gladly be the mother to Crystal. Gladly.

'''Chris:''' A'right. Good. Unngh.

'''Julie:''' Would I be a housewife, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Hmm- we'll see, but uh, I was kinda hoping to be the house husband.

'''Julie:''' But I'm very good with [[sonee|children]]... and I can cook.. I can clean very well, too.

'''Chris:''' Uhh, we'll see what- we'll see what happens when the time- when the time is right, you know?

'''Julie:''' A'right. Do you think in the event that we- in the event that we do decide that I am the house... wife... maybe you could get a job? What job would you like to have? That's a good question, I would like to ask you.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm, I'm not certain... but at least you know, you're promising, 'cuz, you know, you're thinking that doctor's a good job...

'''Julie:''' Wait Chris, what about your CADD degrees? You could get a job with that, can't you?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... probably, but uh, not really sure at the moment.

'''Julie:''' Cuz' Chris, the thing is, I really don't have an American high school diploma, I can't work.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Julie:''' I'm gonna *try* to get doctor, but it's not gonna be easy, you know?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I hear ya'. Hmm. Oh, I will definitely give the question some thought. Plenty of thought.

==== Julie Tries To White-Knight Chris ====

'''Julie:''' Also, I'm really happy- I was looking at- I was looking at the Internet, I was happy to find out that there are a lot of things I can get online that I wasn't able to find in the Molvanîan stores. I was able to... I'd like to set up something called a PayPal, have you heard of it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. It's pretty good! Maybe-

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I think I'll get one.

'''Chris:''' Uhh.. I usually use Paypal for like, uh... paying or... receiving money for goods I sell on eBay.

'''Julie:''' I didn't realise you sold things on eBay.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I did.

[''Julie and Chris talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh, just various things I didn't need anymore. But it's like you know, it costs money to list- it costs money to list on eBay, and you would have to have a bank account linked to the PayPal account...

'''Julie:''' Ahh.

'''Chris:''' But it's like you know- knows, it- so then it knows, so they know where to send the money to or take the money from.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I thought of something that might be able to get you money.

'''Chris:''' Hmm?

'''Julie:''' Hey- what if you advertised Sonichu? And, it would gain popularity, and you could sell merchandise.. you wouldn't need [[Miyamoto saga|Nintendo]], you could just sell it!

'''Chris:''' Mmm... I don't know about that, uhhm-

'''Julie:''' I think it's a good idea, you really should advertise. Like, in your neighbourhood. Maybe in [[Ruckersville]].

'''Chris:''' Umm... I'll give that some thought. I'll give that some thought. [''pause''] I'm not making any promises, I'm not making any promises, but I will gi- I will definitely... greatly consider it.

'''Julie:''' Could I consider something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yes.

'''Julie:''' Maybe- you could go outside, do a meet-and-greet. Just walk around Ruckersville and meet a lot of people. Say- just be nice to them and tell them about Sonichu, the popularity will indeed grow.

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] That's something-

'''Julie:''' They'll tell their friends.

'''Chris:''' That's something that... in addition... I can think about.

'''Julie:''' I really hope you do, cuz', I really wanna see Sonichu become a main brand- maybe even a video game to come out, something I can play on my PS3. It would be wonderful.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. But you know what's uhh- more wonderful? Or what will be more wonderful?

'''Julie:''' What? What?

'''Chris:''' You being here.

'''Julie:''' I would hope that too. Sadly, the economy is not letting that happen easily. I've said before, I'm tr-

'''Chris:''' -Yeah

'''Julie:''' -trying very, very hard to get over there.

'''Chris:''' And your efforts will be greatly rewarded when you come.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I... since. Hmm. I figure you should try and do something. You need to prove to Nintendo that Sonichu is a great idea. I know that as far as what I've heard, they aren't exactly-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, actually... they agreed- they uh, they did, uh, you've heard- they've acknowledged that it is a great idea, but because I was unable to uh make the trip, because I could not afford it- afford the trip- said trip myself, to uh Redmond from Virginia, I mean, even on an airplane, or even in- or even on a- road trip...

==== Julie's Redmond Plan ====

'''Julie:''' Well Chris, I have like- a step by step plan on what you can do. You can save up for a couple of months, step one. Step two, reserve a cheap airline ticket that can get you to Redmond. Second, bring a trusted friend along- maybe you can get a-hold of [[Cole Smithy]], perhaps?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, I-I

'''Julie:''' Are you still in touch with him?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Julie:''' Oh, sorry.

'''Chris:''' Hmm....

'''Julie:''' Maybe you could bring... Hmm- you could bring your [[Bob|father]]? Maybe he could help. I've heard he's... he's got [''inaudible'']] expertise.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris mumbles''] Mmm maybe my [[Snorlax|mother]]... erm. Or you know, here's a thought... I could bring you.

'''Julie:''' Weeell, I think we could try that, but I-I don't think it'll be in the near future if we try that...

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' But by all means...

'''Chris:''' It's uh, gonna be a while before we can uh, save up enough money to uh, actually... save up e- save up like... $800 for like a pair of tickets.

'''Julie:''' I don't think it'll be $800... I think it'll be something... maybe like $500? I'm not sure? But- I'm not positive...

'''Chris:''' Well, time will tell.

'''Julie:''' Well, a couple of months and... you know. You can get there. They'll reimburse you, so it won't be a big loss- maybe-

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' -maybe you can get Sonichu made. You have to assert yourself, as I've said before.

==== More On Nintendo ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah... but it's also- but it's also like you know uh, I thought, I thought yeah- pretty much uh, [[Reggie_Fils-Aimé]] uh, pretty much gave me a pretty much- a very aggressive talk down to about... the project's cancellation.

'''Julie:''' Hmm. Though Reggie is... the big cheese of Nintendo, you should try-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' -You should try... showing to Reggie that... you are just as capable... as anyone else at Nintendo.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. No I've made-

'''Julie:''' -Show 'em you can... show 'em you can, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUTl1vEG62Q as Reggie once said at E3 I believe? Show 'em you can kick arse and take names.]

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Yeah. But I gotta be able to afford the trip first. Then I can show it- then I can show it to him. And uh, after you get here, you can help me with that.

'''Julie:''' I would love to help you with Sonichu. The game. I would love to help you. I honestly would.

'''Chris:''' And you know what else- and you know what else you can help me with in addition to that?

'''Julie:''' What?

'''Chris:''' [[sweetheart from the ground up|You can keep me emotionally sound... and secure.]]

'''Julie:''' I will, I promise I will.

'''Chris:''' Yeah uh, you know, I- [[BlueSpike|I like your voice]].

'''Julie:''' Ch-Chris. Maybe you should try writing a game design document. Like, all your plans for the game...

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Julie:''' -every plan for the game?

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' -planning things out.

'''Chris:''' I have uhh some... story i- I have some ideas for stories and unlock-ables already... typed up.

'''Julie:''' Well if-if you-if you could type it up or just send it to me, maybe ref-refine it a bit, maybe... send it to me- maybe I can try and...

'''Chris:''' -yeah well it's not complete, well I mean I still have other story details to figure out. But-

'''Julie:''' Okay.

'''Chris:''' It's till gonna be a while... for probably even that. And those ideas will be- pretty much will be translated into comics beyond [[Sonichu_10|book number ten]].

==== About The Next Comic ====

'''Julie:''' Oh, that's another question- can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Yes?

'''Julie:''' About the next comic... do you think it'll take as long as the last one, or do you think it'll get here sooner?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Urgh, we'll see. Depends on how I feel.

'''Julie:''' I'll do everything in my power to help you.

[''sound of Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' And I'll... greatly appreciate that.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hmm.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I should go, uhh... collect my thoughts about everything that we talked about, and... just go and give everything we talked about great consideration... and uh, big deal of thought.

'''Julie:''' A'right. Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Do you think you can come back here tomorrow for another private chat? I'd enjoy it if you could.

==== From Behind The Mirror, Clyde Returns! ====

'''Clyde:''' Wow, I've been here the entire time... heh heh heh... under [[Vivian_Gee|my cousin's name]], of course. *tsk* And by the way, Julie- how'd you enjoy that Salesman-

'''Julie:''' Clyde, get out of here, you jerk!

'''Clyde:''' How did you enjoy that salesman?

'''Julie:''' How do you- how did you know?

'''Clyde:''' Guess who that was... [''whisper''] Guess who that was...!

'''Chris:''' Get outta here you jerk!

'''Julie:''' It's a troll! ... who was it?

'''Clyde:''' It was me! C'mon I was in- arrg, God, you irritate me sometimes! And next time... I'll bring my [[Megatron Gun|gun]].

'''Julie:''' [''whimpering''] Chris, I'm scared!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone!

'''Clyde:''' You're all the way over there, what are you gonna do?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [[Patti|I'll haunt your dreams]].

'''Clyde:''' I don't sleep.

'''Chris:''' [[Patti|I'll haunt you in your sleep]].

'''Clyde:''' I don't... sleep.

'''Chris:''' I'll haunt you at your every waking moment... in your- in the deep crevasses of your mind.

'''Clyde:''' That's all you're going to do? Do you want me to just kill Julie and say-

'''Julie:''' -Chris...!

'''Clyde:''' -I'll just haunt you in your dreams? [''Clyde cackles maniacally'']

'''Julie:''' [''sounding terrified''] He's gonna kill me Chris, help! Do something, please!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone, you bastard.

'''Clyde:''' That's not gonna make me do anything. That's not gonna make me do anything.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Watch out-

'''Clyde:''' Are you going to run, Chris?

[''Julie begins crying and babbling in terror in the background'']

'''Clyde:''' That'll show me. Run away, run away! That'll do it!

'''Chris:''' I'm not running.

'''Clyde:''' What are you gonna do, Chris. What are you gonna do.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? I'm worried...

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I will be by your- I will always be by your side, Julie.

[''Clyde and Julie talk over each other'']

'''Clyde:''' You can't even make the trip to *Redmond*... You can't even make that trip!

'''Julie:''' He knows where I live- he has a gun- he's gonna kill me!

[''They stop.'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, I'm worried for my life, you have to do something...! You said you'd protect me...!

'''Chris:''' I have God by my side.

'''Clyde:''' [''Clyde chuckles''] There is no God, Chris. What are you going to do?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'll pray for Julie's safety. And I'll pray for you to... leave her alone. Ow. I'll definitely-

[''Julie whimpers and sobs in the background'']

'''Clyde:''' *Praying*... will do nothing, Chris. You couldn't even protect Sarah-! What makes you think you can protect Julie?

'''Chris:''' I'm offering... praying... is my way- is one way of offering... hope.

'''Clyde:''' Hope. Obama- and that will do nothing!-

'''Chris:''' -and piece of mind-

'''Clyde:''' -that will do nothing! ... maybe I should-

'''Chris:''' -it will-

'''Clyde:''' -just show up at her doorstep again.

[''pause'']

==== Clyde and Chris Argue ====

'''Chris:''' Get outta here ya' bastard.

'''Clyde:''' That's all you're gonna say, g-

'''Julie:''' -Chris!-

'''Clyde:''' -et outta here, y-you're not going to protect Julie.

'''Chris:''' I'm prot-

'''Julie:''' -Chris!-

'''Clyde:''' Well I can see she- worth-

'''Chris:''' I am here. I will protect Julie.

'''Clyde:''' How?

'''Chris:''' You leave- you leave- you leave her alone.

'''Clyde:''' Your words do nothing. You haven't taken action in your life, have you?

'''Chris:''' I have taken more action than you have taken... anything.

'''Clyde:''' That didn't even make sense- when's the last time you been outside your house?

'''Chris:''' -terday.

'''Clyde:''' Doing what? Doing WHAT? At McDonald's? Buying your- whatever-

'''Julie:''' He was getting something for his mother, you JERK- something you probably never... did!

'''Chris:''' Yes, I was getting my mother a cup of coffee.

[''Clyde bursts into hysterical, maniacal laughter'']

'''Clyde:''' Ooooh my God, and tell me, tell me-

[''Chris and Clyde talk over each other- Clyde is inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Well laugh now you bastard, but God will strike down, and smite thee.

'''Clyde:''' Smite me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Okay, okay. Tell me what's the most... action thing you've ever done. I ran away from home, living on the streets and living in below-zero temperatures. What have you done, Chris?

[''Extremely long pause.'']

'''Chris:''' I have stood up...

[''Chris and Clyde talk over each other again; again, Chris wins and Clyde can't be heard until the end'']]

'''Chris:''' -for my friends. And myself.

'''Clyde:''' -am I right? Am I right?

[''pause.'']

'''Chris:''' You are only... a single, solitary soul. With only as much power as the next one. You are only- you are only trying to talk down to me... and scare... me... and Julie, because you yourself are-

[''Chris made an insightful comment? Well, strike me dead.'']

'''Julie:''' -he IS scaring me!

'''Clyde:''' Yes, and you totally protected S-Sarah, didn't you?

'''Julie:''' [''frightened''] Chris, he knows where I live! He says he's gonna kill me! He has-

'''Clyde:''' Of course I know where you live.

[''pause.'']

==== Chris Stands Up To Clyde ====

'''Chris:''' All you're trying to do is just... make yourself- all you're trying to do is- trying to up yourself... make yourself feel superior, when clearly you are not.

'''Clyde:''' Clearly I am. I mean, come on. You can't even... tell me- you said you would like... fight me or something, you said you would inflict pain- c'mon man, you can't even like, I don't know, I don't know, like, any. I'm a little tired right now. Huh. I'm lost for words. There's-There's is no way to describe how pathetic you are. There is no way describe how pathetic you are.

'''Chris:''' You know what? You calling me pathetic is calling yourself... pathetic. You're about as pathetic as you are describing me as pathetic.

'''Clyde:''' ... what.

'''Chris:''' You're the pathetic one. [''pause.''] 'cuz you called me the pathetic one.

'''Clyde:''' Wow, you really are autistic, aren't you.

'''Chris:''' I may be high functioning autistic... but I know... the mindset of the majority of people individually. I have seen [''Windows beeping''] a lot... in my lifetime. I have seen so much. [''pause.''] And you are trying to scare me... with your own... infe-with your own... inferiority... and [[slow in the minds|slow wit]].

'''Clyde:''' What do you mean, slow wit? You're the one with autism!

'''Chris:''' You probably suffer from your own mental innis [sic] or physical ailment, don't you.

'''Clyde:''' No, not really. I'm damn good looking. I'm pretty sure you'd be dead gay for me.

'''Chris:''' I bet you're on drugs, aren't you.

'''Julie:''' Chris would never [''inaudible, something about being gay''], you jerk!

'''Chris:''' -okay Julie. I will never be turned.

'''Julie:''' Yeah but Chris he knows where I live, I- mmm... I'm scared.

'''Clyde:''' I'll plan a visit tomorrow okay, Julie? I'll plan a visit tomorrow.

'''Julie:''' Noo...!

'''Chris:''' You leave her alone!

==== Russian Roulette ====

'''Julie:''' What are you gonna do? What are you going to do?

'''Clyde:''' I'm going to play Russian Roulette.

'''Julie:''' Ahh-...! Chris!

'''Clyde:''' You know what that is? I put a bullet... in a gun. For a thrill thing. Let's just see if she has the... luck, of an honest and pure girl.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] You know what? You've played Russian Roulette with yourself... I bet. And you've always come out at a loss...

[''Chris clearly has no fucking idea how Russian Roulette works.'']

'''Clyde:''' If I lost I would be dead. Y-You know what Russian Roulette is, right?

'''Chris:''' [''Chris tries to be deep and meaningful''] Ooooh, not loss- as in, loss of life... but loss. As in loss- of emotion, of-

==== Clyde Is Crazy ====

'''Clyde:''' Okay, you know what- forget the Russian Roulette game, I'm just gonna shoot her, how about that?

'''Julie:''' [''fake sounding cries''] Chris! Help! ... Clyde, I'm warning you. My brother has-

'''Clyde:''' What are you gonna do, Julee? What are you gonna do.

'''Chris:''' Dude. She has her brother... to defend her.

'''Clyde:''' Uhh- Her- I've seen her brother, he's pathetic, I could easily kick his arse.

'''Julie:''' I doubt it.

'''Clyde:''' [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, you clearly underestimate a whole lot of people. So many-

'''Clyde:''' Uhh, no I haven't. I easily got rid of [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]], and I easily got rid of Sarah. I can do the same... again and again... and again and again and again. [''pause''] And again.

'''Chris:''' [[death threats|You really are a psychopath.]]

'''Clyde:''' [http://www.whysoserious.com/ Why so serious?]

'''Chris:''' You... need to be put in an institution.

'''Clyde:''' Hehe, more like you need to be put in an institution. Hehe. I mean, you're obviously delusional- you really believe... that you- that you can smite me- and that you can stop me, with your words... you really think that.

'''Chris:''' I don't just think that... but I am confident.

'''Clyde:''' You say that you know that- that's just confidence. I know that Julie will be DEAD tomorrow.

'''Chris:''' And I know... that you... are already dead inside.

'''Clyde:''' Yes, I've been dead inside for quite some time, you were right about something. But I'm still living... in this little body of mine... and I will take Julie's... tomorrow.

'''Julie:''' Noo...!

'''Chris:''' You will not.

'''Clyde:''' You're right, you're right, I won't. I'll just leave her... I don't know. I don't know what I'll do.

'''Julie:''' What are you gonna do!?

'''Clyde:''' -she's a nice woman, she deserves to live. You don't, Chris- you don't deserve to live.

'''Chris:''' A'right if you've got the guts to say that, why don't you come over to my house in Ruckersville Virgina, you bastard?

'''Clyde:''' Why should I? I'd be making the game too easy. And I- ... why don't you come to me?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I could easily come to you. But the question is, are you- ... are you, so called, brave enough to actually come to the man who you think you could take down easily... but you obviously fear so much.

'''Clyde:''' You know the point of me doing this is so that you come to me, you do know that right?

[''pause'']

'''Clyde:''' What, are you going to hide behind your parents? Your mother and father will protect you- is that what's going to happen?

'''Chris:''' ... do not interrupt me, because I was at a trail of thought. [''pause''] Without me, your rage goes on without a point.

'''Clyde:''' W-Well yeah, that's the point. My rage will die when you die. That's... kind of the point.

'''Chris:''' And then what would you do?

'''Clyde:''' And then I could feel at peace.

==== Clyde's Backstory... ====

'''Chris:''' You would feel at peace, huh. Yet I bet- that actually you could say the same thing about somebody else who probably has abused you in your lifetime.

'''Clyde:''' No.

'''Chris:''' You said you ran away from home.

'''Clyde:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Was it something- was it- did you run away from home because your mother, or your father, or maybe both of them... was- was uhh, abusing you?

'''Clyde:''' It was nothing like that, it was for a girl. That was a pretty bad lead in my opinion, but I've gotten over that. I'm here. And I want to do something terrible. I should write down my plan, right now.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

[''pause'']

'''Clyde:''' So what are you gonna do. Whatcha gonna do.

[''long pause'']

'''Clyde:''' Nothing apparently.

'''Chris:''' No...! I am going to do something.

'''Clyde:''' Go to McDonald's?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you really need to do something, I'm scared!

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'm doing something Julie. I'm standing up for you.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but he knows where I live!

'''Clyde:''' I bet you can't even stand up, could you? Ha ha ha...

'''Chris:''' You just leave- you leave her alone. You let- you let- you let her live, you leave her... physically unharmed. Cuz', just as easily, I can call the police on you.

'''Clyde:''' A'right, do it. [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' I will tell 'em the whole story. About you, and [[Ryan Cash|Ryan]], and uh- what you did... they can- they can and will find you.

'''Clyde:''' Well, a'right, look. My actual house is in Australia, a'right? But you're not gonna find anything there- you're just gonna find... woo. A bunch of weed I left back there, okay? I mean, you're gonna hide behind the police... and that's not gonna do anything because, you know, I am in America so- they aren't gonna do anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah well, let me ask you something. How could you afford... a trip to... Australia and back with every fare you could go quickly.

'''Clyde:''' It's called an inheritance. An inheritance. An inheritance.

'''Chris:''' You ran away from home, how did you inherit something?

'''Clyde:''' Of course, I'm not a stupid person. I made up with my parents before they mysteriously died for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I'm taking a [[pocketknife|stab]] at this, but you killed them?

'''Clyde:''' No. They uh... carbon monoxide.

'''Chris:''' [''Chris sounds triumphant''] Carbon monoxide.

'''Clyde:''' It's some- ruhg. Look, never mind, you're too stupid to figure this out.

'''Chris:''' No, I am not stupid. I have- I have perfectly... understanding... what carbon monoxide is.

'''Clyde:''' Then what is it?

'''Chris:''' It's a poisonous gas.

'''Clyde:''' Where do you think that normally comes from? There's so many general- hehehe... accidental carbon monoxide poisonings.

'''Chris:''' [[autism|I can obviously tell because uh- you definitely killed them with your c- with the carbon monoxide, because you are putting so much emphasis on accidental.]] You can set it- you can set it- you have obviously set up something that would... LEAK. The carbon monoxide... and kill your parents. What did you have against your parents?

'''Clyde:''' Man you jump to conclusions... like a [[wikipedia:Office_Space|jump to conclusions mat]]. You seriously need help, you are a sick fuck.

'''Chris:''' Oh- *I'M* the one who jumps to conclusions? Well you jump to- you jump to conclusions of me being [[Chris and English|uncapable]] of doing anything.

==== Chris Won't Leave His Filthy Shithole ====

'''Clyde:''' You are uncapable [sic] of doing anything, I know that. [''pause''] What, am I right? Am I right? Just admit it. [''pause''] Oh God- every single woman, you wanted them to come to your house, you wanted... Sarah to come to your house, you wanted Julie to come to your house, you are so lazy- why don't you leave your house? [[obesity|And drop a few pounds]].

'''Julie:''' God, stop it! That's enough!

'''Clyde:''' It's true isn't it, Julie, though? Is it true?

'''Julie:''' No it's not, you're lying, stop it!

'''Clyde:''' He is lazy. He's not going to come to you, you have to come to him- you have to sacrifice everything. He just sits at home and... you know... plays his PS3.

'''Julie:''' You're lying!

'''Clyde:''' -plays his PS3. Isn't that right?

'''Julie:''' Stop it!

'''Chris:''' Yes, you are lying.

'''Julie:''' Stop it!

'''Chris:''' Listen-

'''Clyde:''' -I'm right!

'''Julie:''' He IS lying.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, listen. Listen Clyde- if I could, I would come to- come to Julie personally, I would. But I have a lot at stake here. I leave- if I leave my house... a-and I mean, I don't know Julie's address. I don't know where she is right now. A-An if I had... and if I had- if I uh, had the address, I would most definitely go to her because she is- [''incomprehensible stammering, stress sigh''] -she would be there... to accept me. And let me in.

'''Julie:''' Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' I know... I know that I said I would like you to come to me, but... I feel it would be better for you if I went to your house. That was my decision. I would... like to go to your place.

'''Chris:''' Thank you, Julie. I appreciate that but- I'm jus- I'm just letting you know...

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris-

'''Clyde:''' NO. I will never-

'''Julie:''' This is actually a very hard choice-

'''Clyde:''' No... Julie, I'm not going to let you-

'''Julie:''' ... this is actually a choice...

'''Clyde:''' -never going to let you leave.

'''Julie:''' CLYDE! Fine.

'''Clyde:''' SHUT THE FUCK UP.

'''Clyde:''' No. I won't.

'''Julie:''' Chris... I need to think about this. I will think about this. Who's going to go where.

'''Clyde:''' You can't think while you're dead, you know that right?

'''Julie:''' This is... this is a somewhat hard choice for me to make, Chris. But I assure you- something will be done.

'''Clyde:''' You're going to let them [''inaudible''], let them walk out, sacrifice her safety... just for you? Ooooh- you ARE pathetic man, you know that, right?

[''sound of random junk bumping around, long pause'']

==== More Insults ====

'''Chris:''' I tell you what. You, Clyde... are so small.

'''Clyde:''' More insults. That's going to stop me. You're gonna hurt my feelings so much I'm just... stay inside my hotel, and-

'''Chris:''' I don't have-

[''Chris, Julie and Clyde talk over each other- only Chris is audible'']

'''Chris:''' I don't have- I don't have-

'''Julie:''' Chris-

'''Chris:''' I don't have to hurt your feel-

'''Julie:''' What do you think about what I said? Do you agree with what I said Chris?

'''Chris:''' Y-yeah. I-I hear you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Thank you.

'''Chris:''' Y-yeah. Anyway. You are small... [''stress sigh''] You think you can talk down... to anybody. You feel superior. When clearly, you are not. So therefore, you are definitely the small one in this room.

'''Clyde:''' Why am I pathetic? That I actually went out the world, saw everything...

'''Chris:''' I-It's because-

'''Clyde:''' -instead of playing my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Because you stooped so low... to try and hurt other people, to try and make yourself feel better. That... is pathetic. Thinking that... hurting others... will compensate for anything, for the better, when clearly it does not.

'''Troll:''' [''whisper''] AOmm....

==== Chris Tries To Monologue Clyde To Death ====

'''Chris:''' All it does is just... [''whisper''] hurts... [''normal''] the other people, and it hurts yourself further... because... you hurt... others, against God's will, and you can only... try to tone that pain down... with your own self abuse... in your- with your- in your own... weed... and whatnot. That- that's just sad. You have my PITY. [''pause''] You have my pity, Clyde. And I'm sorry that- I'm sorry that Ryan... committed suicide over the one mistake I made in protest of that ED page... but you do not need to harm anybody, you do not need to kill anybody, because all that will do is just hurt yourself further. Because after your- after your supposedly... you supposedly did this revenge act, then what would you do? You don't- you don't know. But you say yourself, that you will be at peace-

'''Clyde:''' Exactly! That- that's my goal, to be at peace!

'''Chris:''' But does it really... fufill... your emotional needs-

'''Clyde:''' Yeah. Yeah, it does. It really does.

'''Chris:''' It does- it will not. [[death threats|Harming others does not accomplish anything.]]

'''Clyde:''' Chris, you know all about harming others. You harm people every day. Your parents have to support you, every single day, they hurt inside. They hurt so much.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I know they hurt. And I feel their pain.

'''Clyde:''' You are the CAUSE of their pain. They probably regret birthing you every single day.

'''Chris:''' They do not. They appreciate it. They appreciate every moment. They have put so much time and effort in me- transforming me from... a mental nu- a mental case... to a- to a social pers- to a social butterfly... who can do s- who can do so much more than any other low-functioning autistic person can ever do. And for one thing? If they had not raised me the way they did, I would not be on the Internet, talking to... [[trolls|all the people]] I have been talking to. [[Chris and his ego|I am a warrior in my own rights]] and my own personality.

'''Clyde:''' So that's why your parents got you that [[abusive babysitter|babysitter]]... to GIVE you your autism in the first place, isn't it?

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Clyde, I think that's enough.

'''Clyde:''' No, I want him to answer this.

'''Chris:''' It's okay, Julie.

''01:47:26'' - 4:00am. CRASHING INTO SLUMBER TIME. I probably made heaps of typos, feel free to fix it. I'll work on it tomorrow if I feel up to it, but no promises hey. Hope you fucking whores liked the strawberry pic.

{{Transcription}}

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 4|Mumble Chat 4]]|}}

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-15T22:34:52Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV'''") is an audio recording released by [[Chris]] chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the [[manajerks|manager]] who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of [[2008]]. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket.

As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in, and is entirely justified in this belief. According to Michael himself, Chris's plea was a script he had written down on a piece of paper.<ref>http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=u_p6bShW97Y</ref> He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in. Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]]. Of note, Michael is not actually Jewish, and the last name Snyder (or Schneider) is German in origin.

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]] and Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, because the recording itself may have been illegal, or because of the dox and incitement to harass dropped in the description. In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of [[CWCipedia]] accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]] (which is just conjecture on Chris's part, as opposed to Chris's own completely undeniable discrimination against Snyder for having a name he thinks sounds Jewish), and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown, yet still very unlikely, if Michael will press the issue.

==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

Michael then proceeded to drop Chris's phone number (however, Chris had beaten him to the punch multiple times).
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|6odVsyr3I40}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to get myself, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping. Judging by the audio, Chris is standing relatively close to him, close enough to occasionally hear whoever is on the phone speaking.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just [[Mary Lee Walsh|forgive]] and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [[Twin Falling Towers|How can you be so heartless?]] I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, [''four beeping noises are heard, possibly Michael dialing out to 911''] because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that [[Chris and Religion|God will forgive you]] for being so [[Chris and Hypocrisy#"I'll pray for you to open your mind" — Tolerance|heartless and cruel]], Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' JEW!

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
During the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Should the book actually be thrown his way, Chris will be in great danger. The autism card can only go so far, and the community service argument that saved him during his trial after the incident at [[Target]] will not save him here.

On the linked YouTube page the opposite party, Snyder, chimed in to inform everyone that, while he had attempted to press charges against Chris for trespassing, the police informed him that he had no recourse to pursue legal action for Chris's trespasing or attemptes to incite harassment. It all seems for naught anyway, as Snyder mentions that, not only has he not received any harassing messages, but he's actually gotten messages of congratulations and encouragement for putting that [[Chris|fat retard]] in his place.

{{quotebox|I have been told I have no recourse for any of his actions, and his encouraging people to harass me. Turnabout is fair play?? }}
{{quotebox|I want to thank all my fans for their calls supporting me, and feel he needs to stay home and get your calls. His phone number in the book is 434-990-0198. Happy dialing,
Mike 
Elvis has left the building }}

===Video with video===
The next day, [[Vivian Gee]] made a ''[[South Park]]''-style animation using the audio from this clip. Christian himself stopped by to make the following comments on her video:

{{quotebox|Hey, Vivian. I'm going to tell you right now that if you were trying to offend me with this "South Park" [[Parody]]; You Failed. This is just SOO FUNNY! You ought to know I like "South Park", especially the less dramatic, more comical episodes. ROFL}}

{{quotebox|Actually, there is ONE more thing you could to just make this a TOPPER of a Comical Scene; I gave him the finger as I left for real, so add a Sit-And-Spin in the silence right before the final insult. ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 13 April 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]
* [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Apology to Game & Hobby Place

2010-04-13T21:13:51Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:154-ApologyLetter.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Chris plays the apology card.]]
On 16 [[March 2009]], [[Chris]] posted '''Apology to Game & Hobby Place''', a second video apologizing to the [[The GAMe PLACe]] for his douchebaggery. As Chris notes in the video's info, "it's been OVER 9 Months." Why did he wait until this time to apologize? (SPOILER: Because he wanted those ''[[The Eye of Judgment|Eye of Judgement]]'' cards)

{{quote|It's been OVER 9 Months; Please Forgive me Forget the incident, and allow me back my past Responsibilities at Pokemon League. Also buy and play UFS and Eye of Judgment.|Chris's description for the video}}

{{clear}}
==Watch==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Apology to Game & Hobby Place
| image = {{#ev:youtube|77c9h3f-Op0}}
| Stardate = 16 [[March 2009]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Video games}} [[Video games]]
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy}} Tragedy
| Shirt = {{RedShirt2}} Red Stuttgart
| previous = [[Apology_to_Emily#Watch|Apology to Emily]]
| next = [[CWC_Update_18_March_2009_More_Updated#Video|CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]
}} </center>

{{quote|Please allow me back in…}}

===Transcript===
Also, on another note, uh, I wish to apologize to Michael Schneider [''pronounces this like “Snyder”''] for that mistake I made over nine months ago that got me kicked out of [[The GAMe PLACe]].

I miss my Fr-- I-- I miss my Friday nights over there… and I want-- and I wish to, uh, come back, and-- and also, in addition to that, y’all are the only place in town that has, uh, Eye of Judgment cards.

So, uh… please allow me back in… and, uh, you have my phone number, so… call me and let me know if I can come back… and also resume my, uh, responsibilities to the [[Pokémon]] League. Definitely, that's, uh, big-- that’s the big… input there. That’s the big one.

Alright. Take care.

==See Also==
* [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apology to Emily]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T18:43:29Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */ doesn't really need to be piped twice

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)'''") is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]]. Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, the recording itself may have been illegal or because of the dox and incitement to harrass dropped in the description.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown if Michael will press the issue.

In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of CWCipedia accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]], and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.
__NOTOC__
==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' JEW!

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
After the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Of course, should Chris get the book thrown at him, you can trust his parents to play the autism card.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 13 April 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T18:26:57Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Fan videos */

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)'''") is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]]. Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, the recording itself may have been illegal or because of the dox and incitement to harrass dropped in the description.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown if Michael will press the issue.

In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of CWCipedia accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]], and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.
__NOTOC__
==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_race#Jews|JEW!]]

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
After the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Of course, should Chris get the book thrown at him, you can trust his parents to play the autism card.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 13 April 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T18:23:23Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|thumb|Chris begs the masses to support his cause.]]
'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)'''") is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 [[April 2010]]. Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, the recording itself may have been illegal or because of the dox and incitement to harrass dropped in the description.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. [[Virginia]] defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown if Michael will press the issue.

In the early morning hours of the next day, Chris added a text-only [[:File:AskMichaelSnyder.jpg|image]] on the front page of CWCipedia accusing Michael Snyder of [[Kick the Autistic|discriminating against him]] for having [[autism]], and linked to a mirror of the deleted video.
__NOTOC__
==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, [[Captain's Log]]. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine... Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since... uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know ''what''. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris_and_race#Jews|JEW!]]

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

==Aftermath==
After the confrontation, Michael called the [[jerkops|police]]. However, Chris was long gone by the time they arrived. Of course, should Chris get the book thrown at him, you can trust his parents to play the autism card.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = episode 200 - the game place
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HWq4pB_Vikw}}
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
}}

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm MP3 download]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T08:57:56Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)'''") is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

For some reason, Chris says he got banned a year ago... ''in 2008''. Once again, Chris can't tell time. He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 April 2010. Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, the recording itself may have been illegal or because of the dox and incitement to harrass dropped in the description.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. Virginia defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown if Michael will press the issue.

==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

===Transcript===

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, Captain's Log. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine. Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since, uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know what. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|JEW!]]

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==MP3 Download==

* http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm

==See also==
* [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean

2010-04-13T08:50:07Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean''' (full title "'''04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only)'''") is an audio recording released by Chris chronicling an attempt to get himself unbanned from [[The GAMe PLACe]] by confronting [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder]], the manager who permanently ejected him from the store in the summer of 2008. Chris recorded their conversation by hiding a video camera in his pocket. As usual, Chris adds this to his list of fails as Michael is unmoved by his attempts to get back in.

For some reason, Chris says he got banned a year ago... ''in 2008''. Once again, Chris can't tell time. He also, it seems, can't remember why he was kicked out of the store in the first place. He mentions a "[[Nintendo|Wii]] incident," an occasion where he angered the management with his regular habit of taking over the store's television with his [[video game]] consoles, but otherwise he appears to be genuinely confused as to why Snyder won't let him back in.

Oddly, yet hilariously, Chris adds to his streak of [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racist videos]] by shouting "JEW!" at Michael as he leaves the store, [[South Park|like a certain other fat kid]].

The conversation took place on 12 April 2010. Chris uploaded it to [[YouTube]] later the same day. Shortly after it was posted, the recording was removed from YouTube due to a terms of use violation, either because of Chris's anti-Semitic attitude, the recording itself may have been illegal or because of the dox and incitement to harrass dropped in the description.

One way or another, this video is absolute proof of Chris violating the law--he dropped into the store unannounced with full knowledge that he wasn't supposed to be there. Virginia defines this as "trespassing", which is a crime punishable by a fine not to exceed $2500, at most one year in prison, or both. According to Mimms, cops were called after this happened, though it is currently unknown if Michael will press the issue.

==Description==
In the video's description, copied below, Chris invites his fans to harass Snyder and other store employees. Roughly a month after turning on his [[fans|fan following]] and describing them as "[[Chris|greedy, impatient, unloved and corrupted people]]" in his 10 March [[CWC Blog|blog entry]], he's back to believing that he has a personal army.

{{quotebox|This happened on my recent visit to the Game & Hobby Place. My Camera was hidden in my Vest Pocket.

I encourage all to go there in person, find Michael, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|pester/Troll]] the hell out of him (other employees who support him optional). Also say to Michael, "[[Chris and race|Do Not Discriminate]] Against People like Christian Weston Chandler."

243 Ridge McIntire Road Charlottesville, VA 22903 (434) 984-1040}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 04122010 - Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean (Audio Only).MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|u_p6bShW97Y}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 April 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Reason}} Reason, {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = Unknown
| previous = [[F_Abstinance]]
| next = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]}}

==Transcript==

[''Chris is speaking into a recorder as he walks along. From the sound of it, he's outdoors.'']

'''Chris:''' This is Christian Weston Chandler, Captain's Log. Stardate... 4:34 PM, Monday, April 12, 2010. I am about to go into the Game and Comic Hobby Place — also sell toys there — to try, to try to get myself unbanned and get forgiveness for the mistake I have made almost a year ago when I was banned from the store in June of 2008.

[''Heavy [[sigh]] from Chris.'']

'''Chris:''' The dude who banned me was, his name is Michael Snyder, possibly a [[Chris and race#Jews|Jew]] considering his last name. [[Lie|Nothing bad against the Jews, but I'm just throwin' it out there.]] Alright, so, here I go. [''sigh'']

[''Sound of Chris opening and walking through the door into the store. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray faintly plays in the background, while we get a good view of the inside of Chris's pocket.'']

'''Chris:''' Hello, I'm here to see Michael.

 '''Employee:''' Yeah, he's in the room back here.

[''We come upon Michael, who is fixing an RC car. His remarks are occasionally interrupted by whoever he is helping.'']

 '''Michael:''' Well, I mean, you're, you, you'll just see that by running it. I mean, it was running okay the other day. But just, you know, adjust it one way or the other depending on temperature and everything else. But, you know, it just, it's not usually much. By changing fuel, it doesn't usually change... tuning that much. Mmkay... Uh-huh. Yeah, no, it'll be fine. Right, yeah, it'll be fine. [pause] Okay... Okay... Who made it?

[''The recorder seems to move away from the conversation, and a long silence follows. Various store noises occur in the background, including the bell from someone opening the front door.'']

 '''Michael:''' Okay. Alright. Sounds good. Mm-hm. Bye.

'''Chris:''' Hello, Michael. I see, uh... You've been, I see you're looking well. Haven't changed much since, for the past almost two years. And, yeah, it has been, uh, almost two years since, uh, what happened, uh, June- June of 2008. But, uh, I came back hoping that, uh, we could put that behind us and...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' Come on. I mean, it has been almost two years, and it's just been on my mind for so long, just be...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] But, can't we just forgive and forget?

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' C'mon, to have this...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...weight on my back...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' And I have really...

 '''Michael:''' No.

'''Chris:''' ...missed coming here.

 '''Michael:''' No. No. You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I'm, I'm a better person...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' [''heavy sigh''] C'mon, what? Come on, dude...

 '''Michael:''' No! You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' How can you be so heartless? I mean, you're, I mean, you're obviously not as mean as one of those trolls I've been dealing with...

 '''Michael:''' You need to leave now.

'''Chris:''' I mean, come on, I mean, obviously you have something against me, because aside from the Wii incident, I just would like to know what. Come on. Gimme a break. Alright, fine, I'll leave.

[''His tone becomes sharp and angry.'']

'''Chris:''' But I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel, Michael Snyder!

 '''Michael:''' He probably will.

'''Chris:''' [[Chris and hypocrisy|JEW!]]

[''Chris goes out the door, tape runs out.'']

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[F Abstinance]]|nextlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}
{{Captain's Log}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

==MP3 Download==

* http://www.mediafire.com/?gmqwe4kmgzm

==See also==
[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]

Template:Da update

2010-04-08T14:36:28Z

MaesterTonberry:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 5 April - Chris's [[The Hook Cafe]] personal ad is discovered, which blatantly broadcasts the fact that he's just after hanky-panky now.
* 1 April - Chris, upon realizing that the CWCki will not go down, [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|attempts to vandalize the CWCki]], failing as usual. Later, an IP check confirms that this was indeed Chris.
* 28 March - Continuing on the same spirit as the previous video, Chris now [[F Abstinance|rants against abstinence]], another reason for him being a virgin with rage.
* 22 March - Chris manages to last a whopping ''day and a half'' before he posts a [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|1 minute video]] complaining about voice actors on [[Family Guy|The Cleveland Show]].
* 21 March - Chris uploads a [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|video]] announcing that he is leaving the internet. [[YouTube Finale|Again.]]
* 17 March - Chris uploads a [[Happy Sonichu Day|video]] congratulating himself for ten years of Sonichu, tells his fans to stop pestering him about updates, and [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|drops an N-Bomb on Tito]].
* 14 March - Chris [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|threatens]] Surfshack Tito with a knife, in a kilt. Later, he [["Damian_Antaria",_PLEASE,_Don't_Leave_Me_-_I_NEED_YOU!!!| pleads]] with [[The_Wallflower|the wallflower]] to be his [[Boyfriend-free_girl|girlfriend]], and [[Chris and reality|reasons]] that she should sleep with him because his life is pathetic and hookers cost money.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>[[Category: Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Prank calls

2010-04-07T21:21:49Z

MaesterTonberry:

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|V2yasF8ngxU}}
</center>

{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
{{transcription}}

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-06T00:00:03Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T23:39:57Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody every calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T23:30:26Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody every calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T23:21:03Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody every calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T23:18:13Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody every calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T23:13:11Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Liquid Bob calls Bob */

It is not a secret that the Chandler home gets many prank calls, thanks to Chris's e-fame and the fact he revealed his phone number. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to Youtube, providing some slight view of the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Woah woah woah, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I'd tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialled]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls from unknown names or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' That enough [distorted]
 [Redialled]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell. Why did you even start to do this in the first place you little son of a bitch.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up
 '''Bob:''' I'm not cussing at you
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak willed (?) son of a bitch
 '''Bob:''' Listen fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not bothering me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wasting your damn time. OK you're not bothering us. So why the hell do you waste all that effort? Why not put it in to something con- constructive and creative. Go to Haiti and help those people or go to hell, one or the other.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|5Hz1i7QJEf0}}
</center>

{{quote| I an't got a black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -- what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth so I'm a neighbour.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I ain't playing games on the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbour of yours or at one-time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They--
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' --they have a programme in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just cut it down, cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here--now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er..thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''unintelligible''] buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|fIoS-gPOA0k}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''--FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' --you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. Ive even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorising people and I wasn' even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the internet who is drawing cartoon, I-I don't know I don't use the internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the internet either but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the internet uh looking up cartoons on the internet and uh I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:'''Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorising people cause my number comes in on their called ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody every calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The called ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' --Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ-- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie--
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house.But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:'''-it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:'''--sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the internet and that's why they're-- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorise you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the--phone just make calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are-- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us-- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

[[Category:Phone calls]]

Prank calls

2010-04-05T19:57:32Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

Prank calls

2010-04-05T16:55:28Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

Prank calls

2010-04-05T16:47:13Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Transcript */

Prank calls

2010-04-05T16:39:19Z

MaesterTonberry: /* Bob Calls Himself */

Prank calls

2010-04-05T14:46:19Z

MaesterTonberry:

Daniel Weston

2010-04-05T10:21:24Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:DanielWeston.JPG|thumb|right|Daniel Weston]]

[[Image:MayflowerBoat.jpg|thumb|right|The ''Mayflower'' Biological warfare from England by dumping their retards into the American gene pool.]]

{{quote|As a matter of fact, among my, uh, mother's side in the uh, ancestral traits [sighs] we have uh, we have been traced down to Daniel Weston, who was on the main--''Mayflower'' voyage.|Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007}}

According to [[Chris]], '''Daniel Weston''' was one of his illustrious ancestors. He was allegedly aboard the ''Mayflower'', the ship that sailed the pilgrim fathers to America in 1620. According to all known passenger lists of the ''Mayflower'', there was however never a man named Weston aboard...<ref>[http://genforum.genealogy.com/weston/messages/54.html Genealogy Forum]</ref> Weston, according to Chris, was descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], though that in turn [[Fail|raises the question]] of why a descendant of royalty (especially Catholic royalty) would be fleeing England on the ''Mayflower'' (which was full of Puritans) in the first place.

This is either complete bullshit from Chris, or his mother easing the awful truth that he's in fact just descended from a bunch of poor, inbred, socially backward, retarded hillbillies like everyone else believes.

When confronted about it in the [[Mailbag]], Chris brushes the criticism aside, claiming that Daniel Weston was simply a pilgrim, and that he had never said that he was actually on the Mayflower.<ref>[[Mailbag 27#A family history of failure]]</ref>

==References==

<references/>

{{People}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Dead]]
[[Category:Imaginary Family Members]]

Chris's homes

2010-04-01T21:23:51Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:CWCHouse.jpg|thumb|14 Branchland Court]]

[[Chris]], for various reasons, has lived in various '''homes''' in his life.

Chris has lived all his life in the state of Virginia, leaving only to visit other parts of the United States on a few brief occasions. We all know that [[Virginia is for Virgins]].

Specifically, Chris lives in [[Ruckersville]], a bumfuck town in the middle of nowhere, inhabited by people similar to [[Bob Chandler]]. During most of his teenage years, he lived in a nearly identical suburb outside Richmond, around 75 miles away, although his family later decided to return to Ruckersville after Chris finished high school.

==Richmond==
Richmond is the capital of Virginia (and former capital of the Confederate States of America). Chesterfield County is just southwest of Richmond. Chris and his parents lived in this area from [[1989]] to [[2000]].

===Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments===
The Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments, actually called Cloverleaf Lake Apartments, are a set of apartments in Richmond where the [[Chandler]] family lived from [[1992]] to [[1995]].

===Surrywood Subdivision===
The Surrywood Subdivision is an area of Richmond where the Chandlers lived from [[1995]] to [[1996]].

===Newberry Towne Subdivision===
The Newberry Towne Subdivision is an area in Chesterfield County<ref>[http://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Achesterfield.gov+"newberry+towne" Chesterfield.gov]</ref> where the Chandlers lived from [[1996]] to [[2000]], Chris's [[high school]] years.

According to Chris, the neighbors spread rumors about his family.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref> Until proven otherwise, this is the reason they moved back to Ruckersville, but Chris has never satisfactorily explained what these rumors specifically were.

The Chandler family [[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 4|moved back]] to Ruckersville at the end of Chris's senior year.

{{-}}

==Ruckersville==
The Chandlers reside at [[14 Branchland Court]].

==Chris and other states==
Chris has never left the state of Virginia, save for a trip to California for [[Cole Smithey|his brother's]] birthday, and his ill-fated road trip to Ohio to visit [[Julie]]. As a result, he has a very closed-minded view of other states. He automatically assumes that 18 is the [[Kathleen Nicole Wallace|age of consent]] in all states. Chris also seems to believe that all states share the same culture as his ass-backward retarded "Southern" home.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|Notes on former homes
Image:Cloverleaf Streetview.jpg|Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments
Image:0083-SurrywoodHouse.jpg|Surrywood
Image:0108-NewberryTowneHouse.jpg|Newberry Towne
</gallery>

==Sources==
<references/>

{{stub}}

{{Places}}

[[Category:Places]]

User:MaesterTonberry

2010-03-29T21:27:58Z

MaesterTonberry: Created page with '{{Eurofag}}'

F Abstinance

2010-03-29T20:29:39Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''F Abstinance''' [sic] (officially "'''F Abstinance.MOV'''") is a video uploaded on to [[YouTube]] on 28 [[March 2010]]. Chris goes on a tirade about abstinence for no other reason than being an adult [[virgin with rage]]. Although ironic, considering his Christian faith, this once again proves that Chris knows nothing about [[Chris and religion|Christianity]]. Chris also tells everyone to not buy any of the [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu books]] that [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] has put on the internet because Chris [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|is not getting paid for any of it.]] While he commands people not to buy any comics he goes on to say that "small things" such as [[Homos|toys]] and backpacks are ok.

Chris later removed this video.

==Description==
{{quotebox|AND Practice Safe Sex with proper Condom or B.C. medication usage. Ask your parents or teachers for more info, or look it up on the internet or library.

Also, the [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] and the Werehog Costumes in [[LittleBiGPlanet]]; the Headdress needs to be TWO PARTS; EARS for HEAD, and SPIKES for HAIR. And the Spines and Tail need to be TWO PARTS; TAIL for WAIST, and Spines for NECK.}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = F Abstinance.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|LDYPVhQ8yeU}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 28 March 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Sex}} Sex
| Performance Style = {{Rage}} Rage
| Saga =
| Shirt = {{CaptainFalconShirt}} Captain Falcon
| previous = [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]
| next = Current
}}

=== Transcription ===
[[Image:Cwc-abstinence.jpg|thumb|What Chris intends to do.]]

[''Chris [[Pedo-Glasses#Dramatic glasses removal|dramatically removes his glasses]] as the video begins.'']

Just a thought that I'd like to share with everybody:

Abstinence, if you're just learning about it, abstinence is nothing but crap. It is a whole fucking bunch of baloney. If eh- if I had the opportunity, I would- if I was in an assembly, I would stand right up in my chair and I would say "FUCK UP- FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[''Chris thrusts his right index finger in the air for emphasis.'']

Shout it right to the choir. I mean 'cause if you got abstinence, then what- then what do you get? End up being an [[Christian Weston Chandler|adult virgin]], or even worse, a [[Bob Chandler|senior citizen]] virgin and that is like a hell to most anybody. And you can tell 'em that I, Christian Weston Chandler, [[Chris and English|promotes]] you to say "FUCK ABSTINENCE!"

[''Chris punctuates his shout with another fist-pump, then collects himself and puts on his glasses.'']

Updates are to come on the [[CWCipedia]] soon and do not buy any of the quote unquote books anywhere on the Internet because I have not approved of any such books [[Chris and copyright#Sonichu_as_a_copyrightable_work|and I'm not getting a dim- and I'm not seeing a penny out of that.]] So if there's anything that I'm not seeing a penny out of, eh- books or DVDs, yeah do not buy. Otherwise would like, you know [[Kimmi|dolls]], [[Sex toys|toys]], backpacks wh- that sort of- that sort of small thing, yeah that's fine, that's okay. I'll approve that.

Anyway, everybody else, have a good day.
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]|nextlink=[[F Abstinance|Current]]|}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Surfshack Tito (video)

2010-03-18T20:37:23Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:Tito_300.gif|thumb|"Big kahunas need bigger boards."]]
'''Surfshack Tito''' (also known as '''''Surfshack Tito.MOV''''') is a rather odd video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 02 [[March 2010]]. In it he makes his first threat against rising troll [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]] (likely named for the hangout and grandfatherly character in the Nicktoon show ''[[Wikipedia:Rocket Power|Rocket Power]]''), who hacked his [[PSN]] account on 24 February 2010.

The small finger motion and corresponding sound effect Chris makes is consistent with a [[Curse shot]]. This flies in the face of the claims Chris made in the [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|8th Alec Benson Leary call]], where he conceded that cursing people was evil, and claimed he was atoning for it.

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Surfshack Tito.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|3BpXubqmxEg}}
| Stardate = 02 [[March 2010]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Television.png]] Television
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:Tanwidestripeshirt.png]] Tan Wide Lines
| previous = [[02 March 2010]]
| next = [[A message to the Trolls]]
}}

===Transcription===
[''"Mo Ghile Mear" by Celtic Woman plays in the background.'']

Surfshack Tito! [''Chris makes a quizzical face, and speaks in a high-pitched voice''] I know you!

[''Dramatic [[glasses]] removal'']

You'll get yours [[CWC's Message for Ivy|in your dreams]]- your- [[Patti Chandler|in your nightmares]]. [''makes an [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha#Execution and effect|odd, one-fingered gesture]]''] Pshew!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[02 March 2010]]|nextlink=[[A message to the Trolls]]}}

{{Troll Videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

9 February 2010

2010-02-09T09:25:14Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''9 February 2010''' (Officially '''02092010.MOV''') is a video where Chris comments on the destruction of the [[CWCipedia]], threatens the lives of the people behind the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]], and claims the CWCipedia will be rebuilt with his [[Monthly Tugboat|own funds]]. He also states that he is [[Father Call|still shoveling snow]], and drawing the comic.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 02092010.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ET4pwfbAyto}}
| Stardate = 9 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:StraightWhiteLines.png]] STRAIGHT White Lines
| previous = [[I am Alive#Part 2|One more thing...]]
| next = [[9 February 2010|Current]]
}}

===Transcript===
Captain's log February 9th, 2010. As it is to my dismay, I have to point out... but, you can thank Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao on the [[Asperpedia]], cuz I got confessions from them and they have done so already. They took down my own cwcipedia. Dey-e They even prohibited me from being able to make any updates... because of that god dang Evan. [''Quenches fist''] If I could go back to before November 2007, I would of never few- viewed that damned ED page and I would of never need to deal with these damned dirty trolls but I know I realize one thing now and I have suffered through so much torment and really, this one just takes the cake.

You all just want a response from me, you gonna get one hell of a response and to al- all my true, loyal fans can... blame those in the Asperpedia those four. They have done the wrongest. They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable but can be rebuilt and I will rebuild it with my own help and [[Chris and money|my own funds]]. I have people on the inside, the cwckipedia will be backed up and I never wanted to kill [[Simonla]] but I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan, I would have him in Psychic link within my psychic powers, FROZEN IN TIME and then I would put him in the jail cell as between the same fate of Alec, Sean and Mao and what they have done on-to me so far, which they didn't have to do, but they did and they are all guilty for tormenting me like they have. I would have them [[Death threats|ESS-acuted]] and I don't care what they think or what they say, this is my stand against you 4, rot... in....

{{RageQuote|HELL!!}}

[''Moment of silence'']

Anyway, everybody else, have a good day. I am still shoveling snow and drawing and coloring, regardless of there being a website or not.

[''Looks all detested and reaches for his camera to turn it off'']

Have a good da--[''Ends here.'']

9 February 2010

2010-02-09T09:23:17Z

MaesterTonberry:

'''9 February 2010''' (Officially '''02092010.MOV''') is a video where Chris comments on the destruction of the [[CWCipedia]], threatens the lives of the people behind the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]], and claims the CWCipedia will be rebuilt with his [[Monthly Tugboat|own funds]]. He also states that he is [[Father Call|still shoveling snow]], and drawing the comic.

==The Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 02092010.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|ET4pwfbAyto}}
| Stardate = 9 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:StraightWhiteLines.png]] STRAIGHT White Lines
| previous = [[I am Alive#Part 2|One more thing...]]
| next = [[9 February 2010|Current]]
}}

==Transcript==
Captain's log February 9th, 2010. As it is to my dismay, I have to point out... but, you can thank Alec, Evan, Sean and Mao on the Asperpedia, cuz I got confessions from them and they have done so already. They took down my own cwcipedia. Dey-e They even prohibited me from being able to make any updates... because of that god dang Evan. [''Quenches fist''] If I could go back to before November 2007, I would of never few- viewed that damned ED page and I would of never need to deal with these damned dirty trolls but I know I realize one thing now and I have suffered through so much torment and really, this one just takes the cake.

You all just want a response from me, you gonna get one hell of a response and to al- all my true, loyal fans can... blame those in the Asperpedia those four. They have done the wrongest. They took away that which inspired their own comic pages. They destroyed... what was undestroyable but can be rebuilt and I will rebuild it with my own help and [[Chris and money|my own funds]]. I have people on the inside, the cwckipedia will be backed up and I never wanted to kill Simonla but I was practically back-BLACK mailed by that god damned by that god damned Evan, I would have him in Psychic link within my psychic powers, FROZEN IN TIME and then I would put him in the jail cell as between the same fate of Alec, Sean and Mao and what they have done on-to me so far, which they didn't have to do, but they did and they are all guilty for tormenting me like they have. I would have them ESS-acuted and I don't care what they think or what they say, this is my stand against you 4, rot... in....

{{RageQuote|HELL!!}}

[''Moment of silence'']

Anyway, everybody else, have a good day. I am still shoveling snow and drawing and coloring, regardless of there being a website or not.

[''Looks all detested and reaches for his camera to turn it off'']

Have a good da--[''Ends here.'']

I am Alive

2010-02-06T04:46:22Z

MaesterTonberry:

__NOTOC__[[Image:RIP Chris Chan.JPG|thumb|Apparently this is all it takes to get a video.]]
'''I am Alive''' (officially '''02042010 - I am Alive.MOV''') is a two-part video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 5 [[February 2010]]. In reaction to the ads claiming that he died, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] made this video to dispell those rumors, and to [[Chris and remorse|apologize to Evan and Alec]] stating that he'd kill off Simonla and that he was [[Lie|sorry for claiming that Alec keeps women captive in his basement]]

Note that the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|SheCameForCWC]] parody ad with <s>Oedipus</s> Chris and [[Barbara|his mom]] has been up for three days and he's never said one word about it, even when he noticed the other ad claiming he's dead '''right next to it'''. Some trolls have theorized that perhaps nudity and matriphilia are calmly accepted around the Chandler household, while others propose that Chris is too dense to realize that the woman depicted is meant to be his mother.
{{Clear}}
==Part 1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = 02042010 - I am Alive.MOV
| image = {{#ev:youtube|84ye0PybM1I}}
| Stardate = 5 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] Vert. Blue/Gray
| previous = [[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]
| next = [[5 February 2010#Part 2|One more thing...]]
}}

===Transcript===
C-log February 4th, 2010
First off, I'm not dead, and I have a few announcements to make. Don't listen to that stupid Mao and his stupid advertisements. Don't I look dead to you? No, I'm alive, safe, well, and healthy. [[Image:FutureCWC.jpg|thumb|Thinning by the day.]] That's for the announcements. I'll admit Alec has a sizable fanbase, possibly greater than my own, currently. Uhh, I had--I originally had permission for using Simonchu in my comics from Evan, but then he took it away. Simonla was not mine, so I'm giving it back to him by killing her later. Uhh...I admit editing small article, I'll just delete it altogether later today--or later on. I apologize to Alec for calling him [[naive]] multiple times. And, uh, I apologize to Mao--here's a Forgiveness Blessing. Forgiveness Blessing ::shoo:: there you go. Uhh...I just been--forgive me, but I just had to dig a bunch of snow. It's snowing now. My car's stuck. And I apologize to Alec for--for taking Asperchu and his--rec--and his recreated characters for re-editing and whatnot. A comic pa--There'll be a page later explaining all that. There's another apology I made to him earlier about pretending my mother...hmm. I apologize for accusing him for female entrapment and..uh...rumors about rape. [[Lie|It was never meant to be rape]]. It was just like you know...he had to--he had those four Rosechus in his basement. Kept 'em in cages. Treated them like hamsters. Ham--giant hamster wheel. Water bottle. Food pellets. No rape. Just hamsters. You don't rape a hamster. And I had no excuse for not updating on some days, but [[Mass debating|real life]] just happens, though. That's my only excuse. Real life, other than that, I have no excuse. And uh, I apologize for disrespect in the mailbags and belating updates. Yeah, so with that. I'll leave you all with that, and I'm alive, safe, well. Okay, have a good day.

==Part 2==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|GPENY0rE3Hs}}
| Stardate = 5 February 2010
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Website.png]] Website
| Performance Style = [[Image:Reason.png]] Reason
| Saga = {{Asperchu}} [[Asperchu]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalbluegrayshirt.png]] Horizontal blue/gray
| previous = [[5 February 2010#Part 1|I am Alive]]
| next = Current
}}

===Transcript===
Oh, and one more thing. I'll admit that I was trolled Alec in the sense like I was trolled before and I apologize for that. I didn't want to leave that detail out. I [[Rollin' and Trollin'|trolled]] Alec, and I apologize for that, and I will not troll him anymore. Okay.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]|nextlink=Current|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
{{Captain's Log}}

2010

2010-02-03T12:13:02Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:CWCki-tanNewYear2010.png|thumb|[[CWCki-tan]] kicking off the new year with sum delicious [[reeb|juice]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of trolling Chris. In 2010, Chris will turn 28.

==January==
{{See also|January 2010}}
Fueled by a combination of fanmail and his victory over the hardcore gay ads on CWCipedia, [[Chris]] started off 2010 in a rush of almost unrestrained smugness and arrogance. His only setback was the temporary closing of CWCipedia thanks to trademark claims from The Coca-Cola Company and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, and after a short apology, that, too, was quickly forgotten. Thanks to the swelling in his feelings of self-importance, the more depraved side of his mind was on full display both in the Sonichu comics and in the [[Mailbag]].

Around the middle of the month, Chris's complacency came under fire, when favorite troll comic and Sonichu parody, [[Asperchu]], which Chris was introduced to and already hated because it made his homosexuality-alarm go off back in late 2009, became his number one [[stress]] factor due to a takeover of CWCipedia's ad-space and mail from [[fans]] who said that they would abandon the Sonichu fandom and go read Asperchu instead. Chris have since desperately tried to fight the fan-emigration to Asperchu with [[Down with Asperchu|belittlement and denial]], [[15 January 2010|fist-fight challenges]], [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|subliminal suggestions]] and [[12 January 2010|impotent tard-rage]]. So far all of his attempts have [[fail]]ed miserably.

So far the highlights of [[Sonichu 10]] have been: [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] committing a terrorist attack on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Tower, causing the building to collapse, killing 100 people and injuring another 150 in the process, the depiction of Rosechu shifting tampons and engaged in bondage with Sonichu, and the staging and execution of a worldwide holocaust on homosexuality and asexuality. And yes, Chris [[Mailbag 32#Chris knows what's best for your kids|still considers Sonichu a comic for kids]].

Thanks to one of Chris's [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|replies in the Mailbag]], we have confirmed that Chris, if given the opportunity, would not hesitate to rob people of their freedom of thought just to make sure that there would be no [[homos|homos]] in his perfect world.

==February==

===Events of February===
''See [[February 2010]]''

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

2010

2010-02-03T12:10:45Z

MaesterTonberry:

[[Image:CWCki-tanNewYear2010.png|thumb|[[CWCki-tan]] kicking off the new year with sum delicious [[reeb|juice]].]]

'''2010''' marks the second consecutive year of trolling Chris. In 2010, Chris will turn 28.

==January==
{{See also|January 2010}}
Fueled by a combination of fanmail and his victory over the hardcore gay ads on CWCipedia, [[Chris]] started off 2010 in a rush of almost unrestrained smugness and arrogance. His only setback was the temporary closing of CWCipedia thanks to trademark claims from The Coca-Cola Company and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, and after a short apology, that, too, was quickly forgotten. Thanks to the swelling in his feelings of self-importance, the more depraved side of his mind was on full display both in the Sonichu comics and in the [[Mailbag]].

Around the middle of the month, Chris's complacency came under fire, when favorite troll comic and Sonichu parody, [[Asperchu]], which Chris was introduced to and already hated because it made his homosexuality-alarm go off back in late 2009, became his number one [[stress]] factor due to a takeover of CWCipedia's ad-space and mail from [[fans]] who said that they would abandon the Sonichu fandom and go read Asperchu instead. Chris have since desperately tried to fight the fan-emigration to Asperchu with [[Down with Asperchu|belittlement and denial]], [[15 January 2010|fist-fight challenges]], [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|subliminal suggestions]] and [[12 January 2010|impotent tard-rage]]. So far all of his attempts have [[fail]]ed miserably.

So far the highlights of [[Sonichu 10]] have been: [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (band)|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] committing a terrorist attack on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] Tower, causing the building to collapse, killing 100 people and injuring another 150 in the process, the depiction of Rosechu shifting tampons and engaged in bondage with Sonichu, and the staging and execution of a worldwide holocaust on homosexuality and asexuality. And yes, Chris [[Mailbag 32#Chris knows what's best for your kids|still considers Sonichu a comic for kids]].

Thanks to one of Chris's [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|replies in the Mailbag]], we have confirmed that Chris, if given the opportunity, would not hesitate to rob people of their freedom of thought just to make sure that there would be no [[homos|homos]] in his perfect world.

==February==

===Events of January===
''See [[February 2010]]''

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]