CWCki - User contributions [en]

Mumble 6

2012-11-27T14:38:50Z

Mage:

'''Mumble 6''' is the sixth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 10 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''1:57:53'''

== Summary ==

* Chris has received a letter from [[Nintendo]] of America stating that he hasn't been in touch with [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru]] [[Miyamoto Saga|Miyamoto]]. The trolls try to convince him that the letter is fake.
* Chris gives more advice on whether Falsion's friend is a [[homo]] by suggesting he'll be drawn to posters of men more than those of women in the fan's bedroom.
* [[Julie]] probes Chris on why he dislikes [[homos]] so much. Chris flounders.
* Chris first made his [[medallion]] because he wanted to, before he ever drew any [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and wears it all the time because it's like a nametag. Might make one for Julie.
* Someone hacked [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichugirls.net]]. Julie is outraged.
* Chris doesn't hate all men, just the ones who are [[jerks]], which is the "majority of the male population." When called on it, admits he doesn't know how he knows that men are jerks without knowing them.
* Chris doesn't remember saying that transgender people should have surgery. Now says that they shouldn't. Confuses "[[Wikipedia:transgender|transgender]]" with "[[Wikipedia:intersex|intersex]]" and says that if he had a child with both organs he would raise it as a boy.
* If Chris was dating a girl and she turned out to have a [[pickle|penis]], he would freak out, throw up and dump her.
* [[Sonic]] replaced [[American Rabbit]] as Chris's favorite cartoon character.
* Chris's favorite soap opera is [[Wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|''The Young and the Restless'']]. He used to watch MTV's [[Wikipedia:Undressed|''Undressed'']].
* Chris feels as if his life is a soap opera, as he's had a lot of drama.
* Chris hasn't decided if there will be a Chris Chandler show. Everyone says it's a great idea.
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic 3D|''Sonic 3D'']] is Chris's favorite Sonic game.
* ''The Chris Chandler Show'' would be improvised with no commercial breaks. When [[Jack Thaddeus]] calls him on the show needing to make money, Chris says that he doesn't know how to make commercials.
* Chris never received the [[Wikipedia:Jet (magazine)|''Jet'']], [[Wikipedia:Ebony (magazine)|''Ebony'']] and [[Wikipedia:Vibe (magazine)|''Vibe'']] magazines that a troll called hottiee96 subscribed him to.
* Chris says he's irregular with comics because "It's called a life".
* [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty]] asks what Chris does, considering he has no job. Chris stalls, before saying that [[lie|he can't describe his daily schedule on a whim at the moment]] and had better not say. He blames [[stress]].
* Chris says that he gets stressed and needs a day to recover. Fans point out the contradiction of drawing comics to relax and using stress as an excuse not to draw them. Chris says that he feels uncomfortable with the questions.
* Chris does [[Sonichu]]'s voice. It sounds like Chris, only slightly higher. Fans praise this fantastic rendition.
* Chris says that he would want [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] to publish Sonichu.
* There will be no lesbian relationships in Chris's comics, as he promotes heterosexuality.
* Chris obnoxiously cuts off a fan who asks about [[Nintendo]] and [[copyright]], saying "I don't know, I don't know, I'm not a business genius."
* They talk about anime and video games. Chris doesn't like the nudity in [[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Crayon Shin-chan'']] because dicks 'offend' him.
* Says that him drawing ''Sonichu'' with his [[duck]] out [[Chris and Hypocrisy|was different because he was wearing a condom]].
* Chris confirms that he ripped off the workings of Sonichu's penis from a line from Brian in ''[[Family Guy]]''.
* Chris does not like [[dirty crapped briefs|poo]] in a fetishistic sense.
* Chris can't remember why he mentioned his dirty crapped briefs to Clyde.
* Chris is still trying to upload the Nintendo of America letter.
* The adult scenes in Sonichu are not "lost content", they are "removable deleted scenes" and the comic can be read with or without them. [[lie|This is how he designed it]].
* Chris will not undergo speech therapy because he had it when he was a child.
* Chris does a terrible high-pitched impersonation of someone with no front teeth.
* Chris cuts off a question about the [[PS3]] being the main console of the [[gay]] community, as he's bothered by it.
* CWCville's employment situation is discussed. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]'s job is protecting [[CWCville]] and everything is free for them.
* Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Spice Girls|Spice Girls]], but didn't have a favorite.
* CWCville was founded just by [[Bob]], shortly after Chris was born.
* Bob told Chris that Sonichu was viable as regards copyrighting. Chris has paid the [[Wikipedia:Library of Congress|Library of Congress]] $35 for copyright years ago and hasn't heard anything.
* Chris has uploaded the Nintendo of America letter. The fans deny that it's real and attempt to discredit it. Chris refuses to listen.
* Chris starts to leave, [[Clyde Cash]] enters. The HONEST and TRUE fans all decry this disgraceful human being.
* Clyde says that Julie is afraid of how her life with Chris will turn out, and that her parents will take her away. Chris protests that he's cleaned his room.
* Clyde says Chris needs to clean up his act to be with Julie, asks if he pays taxes. Chris says he's paid sales tax.
* Chris "pleads the fifth" when Clyde asks how much [[Money|credit card debt]] he has. When pressed, he admits to having almost $2,000 to offset his savings of $100.
* Chris says that if he decides he has to get a job when he and Julie are married, he will.
* Chris claims that he can cook "anything that's within his cookbook."
* Chris admits he was lying about looking for jobs he can do with his [[CADD]] degree, but he ''can'' start looking. Clyde calls him out on lying to Julie so much, and Chris whines about his "insultive tone."
* Julie says that she's read up on [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] and there's no premarital [[sex]]. Chris says that [[Lie|Methodists are allowed]].
* Chris claims to cook for himself the majority of the week. Says he cooks a lot of things for himself. When pressed, he says vegetables, meats and soups, depending on shopping. His parents cook separately from him, as they live on a different floor.
* Chris says he will look for a job, depending on who's hiring. Will think about getting a job now.
* Chris's schedule currently varies from day to day, but he does a lot of creative things. Yesterday he cleaned his room.
* Julie says that drawing comics is currently Chris's job and he should work on it. Chris promises that he will.
* Chris says ''Ich bin schwul'' and leaves.
* [[BlueSpike]] and the others laugh about Chris admitting to being a [[homo]].

=== Transcript ===

==== Meet and Greet ====

[The various trolls greet Chris, talking over each other]

'''Julie:''' Heeey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Willkommen!

[sound of junk getting moved around]

'''Troll:''' Hello.

'''Troll:''' Morning!

'''Hamsty:''' Hey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Uhh- hello, Chris! What's up?

'''Troll:''' Hello! How're you doing?

'''Chris:''' [speaking in an effeminate voice] Hellloo...

'''Troll:''' Bonjour.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' So what are you up to tonight, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, nothing much, just uhh... takin' care of things.

'''Troll:''' Aww, that's good.

[Audio cuts out here for a moment. Presumably, the same thing happened in the chat.]

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Chris:''' [[BlueSpike|Julie]] bought me here. You asked for me to come and I so I did.

'''Troll:''' Did you... come for your fans at all?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah I came for my fans.

'''Troll:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Matter of fact I have an update...

'''Troll:''' Oooh?

'''Troll:''' Ohh awesome!

'''Chris:''' But... well unfortunately yeah, it was in a video but it didn't get, uhh, processed quickly enough... I've just had to start re-uploading it.

'''Troll:''' Yeeeah... [[YouTube]]'s really slow at that... depending on what you use. It's a'right.

'''Troll:''' It's like... they need to invest their money more in technology.

==== Chris receives a letter ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uhh, as I have already told Julie and [[Sarah May]], mm, I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Mr-

'''Chris:''' I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Nintendo of America's representative Mr. Mike Chandler- no relation- In response to what I have sent Nintendo of America previously. Anyway, it-it-it verifies my uh- families, my friends and uhh... my theory so that, uhh, and I quote, Mr [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]] did not have a meeting scheduled with you, nor has he be- has he been corresponding with you. Mr Miyamoto speaks and writes only-

'''Troll:''' [Talking over Chris] I'll be right back.

'''Chris:''' [very annoyed] -very limited English...! ...and our game development teams do not accept unsolicited game suggestions or other ideas. Although Mr Miyamoto made occasional business trips to the U.S., he spends the majority of his time in Japan at Nintendo's headquarters. So, in short I've- I've actually been talking to... impostors.

[The trolls begin talking over each other at this point]

'''Troll:''' Well, you don't know if he's an impostor or not, I mean, I mean,

'''Troll:''' Oooooh...

'''Troll:''' You know...

'''Troll:''' I mean, look at that, it had your last name- it didn't really sound legit...

'''Troll:''' Hold on, guys hold on, hold on. Just lemme...

[Brief silence]

'''Troll:''' Well, it could have been intercepted by a troll because he did say that Mr. Miyamoto doesn't speak- speaks limited Jap- I mean, limited English, but... I've seen YouTube videos of him speaking a lot... urn... in English... and... I don't- I think that's a lie- that guy obviously doesn't know anything about Miyamoto.

'''Troll:''' You know, I- I've heard about stuff like this happening, you know, one of my cousins is in the business industry and he says with a lot of these big companies they get mix- things mixed up all the time. Maybe they were sending it to like- maybe they thought you were someone else, or they sent it to somebody who had the wrong address, you know, they can screw stuff up an awful lot.

'''Chris:''' Well anyways, it's an official letter from Nintendo of America, because uhh... the envelope, is-is-is-is just like the previous envelopes I've gotten from Nintendo of America, as well as the uh... letter head on the... letter. It's typed.

[The trolls talk over each other here. The general drift is: "It's easy to forge..."]

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] It was typed.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, it's easy to forge.

'''Chris:''' [still annoyed] It was typed.

[Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' [yep, still annoyed] [[autism|It was typed]].

[More Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' And-and-and it has a signature on there.

'''Troll:''' Just because it's typed and it has a signature on there doesn't mean it's real.

'''Troll:''' In fact, wouldn't typing it make it more easier to forge since it's not handwriting?

'''Troll:''' And a signature doesn't mean anything, I mean, you nev- I mean you don't know this guy and so... it's just somebody's signature.

'''Chris:''' Look, I'll tell y'all- look, I'll tell y'all what, I'll scan the envelope AND the letter and put it on the [[CWCipedia|Sonichu site]] [annoyed] LATER [pause; the trolls talk all at once] and y'all- and y'all- can fig- and y'all decide for yourselves from that.

'''Troll:''' We're tryin' to help you, Chris. We're trying to help you and do what's best for you...

'''Troll:''' We're trying to make sure nobody's trying to trick you.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' We're here to back you up.

[silence]

==== Games, etc. ====

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I can always play it on my [[PS3]], or my Nintendo Wii when I ever get one...

'''Troll:''' Never [[Hex Bawx]].

'''Julie:''' I hate the Hex Bawx.

'''Troll:''' I'm a PC player myself.

[''The trolls talk all at once for about ten seconds'']

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get the scanner and make it ready to scan.

[some trolls mutter back and forth, mostly silence]

[lengthy pause]

'''Troll:''' ... [whisper] [[pickle|cocks]]!

[The trolls laugh; sound of things moving around and other noise in the background]

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something, Chris?

'''Various Trolls:''' He's uh, scanning. He's scanning things.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just got back with it and I'm... scanning it.

==== The Molvanîan Language, et al. ====

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris?

'''Troll:''' Excellent...!

'''Chris:''' Yeah Julie? [''Chris sounds uninterested'']

'''Julie:''' Can you do me a favor?

'''Chris:''' Sure, what?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell everyone what I taught you today- the new, uhh, [[Molvanîa]]n word?

'''Chris:''' Oooh- ooh. Yeah. Julie uhh... Julie is from Molvanîa... its uh neigh- its uh-it neighbors- it neighbors five countries such as [[Wikipedia:Germany|Germany]] and [[Wikipedia:Slovakia|Slovakia]]. [''pause''] Anyway, uhh, she taught me how to say "I love you" in Molvanîa.

[''A troll screams in entirely understandable horror, possibly comprehending what will occur next...'']

'''Chris:''' [[Homos|''Ich- Ich baan schwill'']]. [sic]

[Julie says something in the background, something about 'a'right now, okay, keep going']

'''Chris:''' Yeah I just pretty much said it. Ich baan schwill. [sic]

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right. I love you too!

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Troll:''' You have a gift for languages, Chris.

'''Troll:''' Really!

'''Troll:''' I can see why you pick up [[Spanish]].

'''Troll:''' First Spanish, and now Molvanîan. You're moving on up!

'''Chris:''' Well, right now basically I just have like a few... greetings. And the 'I love you' there.

'''Troll:''' Before you know it you might be speaking Japanese with Mr Miyamoto.

[''Chris seems to forget that, just minutes ago, he had decided that [[Miyamoto]] was an impostor and doesn't mention it.'']

'''Hamsty:''' Or French? [''she speaks a little French, but Chris just talks over the top of her'']

'''Chris:''' Well, uhh, I know a little bit of Japanese. Like... こんにちは (''konnichiwa''). [''awkward pause''] And さよなら (''sayonara'').

'''Hamsty:''' Do you know any French words?

[''More Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh... wee wee mon [[anime]] [''sic''].

'''Hamsty:''' Ahh... mmm. I see.

'''Chris:''' ''Omelet du fromage.''

'''Hamsty:''' [forced giggle] That's uh, that's that's... very nice. Merci! Merci beaucoup... [''another giggle'']

'''Chris:''' Merci!

'''Hamsty:''' That means 'thank you'!

'''Chris:''' I know.

'''Hamsty:''' Okay, just making sure! [''another 'please don't [[rape]] me' giggle is squeezed out'']

==== Idle Chatter ====

'''Julie:''' So, uh, Chris. How are things?

'''Chris:''' Things are, uh well at home.

'''Julie:''' Awesome!

'''Chris:''' I'm safe and well, and I'm looking forward to you arriving, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Hmm!

[awkward silence]

'''Troll:''' Uhh, what happened last time? You were interrupted by... something.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?
'Member last time you came? I don't know what happened, but you had to sign off for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member that, that was like a long time ago... that was pretty much a long time ago at this point.

'''Troll:''' Uhh, never mind.

'''Troll:''' Yeah...

'''Troll:''' I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. [''snort'']

'''Hamsty:''' [''giggle'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it happens, it happens. Sometimes you can remember things from birth... and like, from, childhood years... and sometimes you can't remember things from last week!

'''Troll:''' [[Stress]] does influence memory, so it's understandable.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... I suffer from that... occasionally.

[''awkward pause'']

==== Movies ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, seen any good movies recently?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... good movies, good movies... I saw [[Saw|''Saw V'']]?

'''Troll:''' And how was that?

'''Julie:''' Oooh, and what did you think of it?

'''Chris:''' I thought it was- I thought it was neat and very interesting... I mean I saw the previous four... which I have on DVD. But I got ''Saw V'' on Blu-ray.

'''Troll:''' Sounds pretty crazy. Was it scary?

[''awkward pause'']

'''Troll:''' Were the special effects realistic enough to make it seem... scary... enough?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Troll:''' [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|It didn't have enough traps!]] That was my complaint.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean uh, I think uh, I think the scariest thing from that movie would be after that- after that guy removed his arm from the- from the saw, and it was like split down to the elbow. But you know-

'''Troll:''' I remember that.

'''Troll:''' Oh, wow!

'''Chris:''' But then- but then you realize from the behind the scenes footage that that actually was just a fake arm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, well, they wouldn't do that in real life because they would have to, like, pay a lot of people...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean, like, the special effects they use nowadays is pretty impressive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' The men were [[jerks]] in that movie, the saw vic- the jigsaw victims. I mean like they let that poor girl- uhh... that poor girl die at the beginning the trap...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like they could- it's like they didn't- it's like, it's like they didn't know at the time they could have gotten away with all five of them alive at the front line through the whole... setup. But uh, still, you know, I mean, the whole setup they had going there... the girl... the woman actually had her head going through a hole in the wall, while there was a whole fake, empty neck on top of it.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... yeah. I just can't believe how much the men were [[jerks]] in that movie. They weren't... especially...

'''Julie:''' Yeah. That movie made me kinda mad...

'''Troll:''' Sexist!

'''Troll:''' Do you think they'll make a sixth... Saw movie?

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and his ego|Chris speaks as though he were a great authority on the matter]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yeah, I think they'll make a [[Saw|''Saw VI'']], I mean- I figured they... you figured they gave the role of [[Wikipedia:Jigsaw Killer|Jigsaw]] over to [[Wikipedia:Mark Hoffman (Saw)|Detective Hoffman]], so he could probably do something in the next one. Plus, I'm still wondering, what was the fate of the uh... doctor. You remember from [[Wikipedia:Saw (film)|the first ''Saw'']], that uh, that actually cut off his foot?

'''Hamsty:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well, y-you find out that basically... you find out he's into crawling away. You find him doing that in Saw III. But yeah you don't see anything of him in [[Saw IV|''Saw'' f-...four]], except for that one time when they actually- they talk about that little piece of evidence that went against him in the first ''Saw''.

'''Hamsty:''' [coughs] Mmm. Excuse me.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... Uhh... I never really was into horror. What is it that, uh, makes horror movies so enjoyable?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I would say probably the, uh, story, and uh...

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris, can I ask a question?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite kind of movie?

'''Chris:''' Mmm- I mostly like, uh, romantic comedies.

'''Troll:''' Oh, those can be good. [''More Windows beeping'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they're fun. I've uh- I've uh- gone back to the [[wikipedia:List of Shuffle! episodes|Moonlight Confession episode]] of ''[[Shuffle!]]''. That's uh, that's episode 10.

'''Troll:''' I prefer animated movies myself, you know... Disney, Pixar...

'''Troll:''' So do I.

[''A soft, computer generated 'bong!' noise can be heard in the background'']

[Hamsty gasps in the background]

'''Troll:''' I just watched ''[[Wikipedia:Finding Nemo|Finding Nemo]]'' recently... just this weekend.

'''Chris:''' I liked ''Toy Story''.

'''Troll:''' That was a good one.

'''Troll:''' That is such a classic!

'''Troll:''' My friends and I quote that ALLL the time whenever we watch it.

'''Chris:''' To ef-fenity [sic] and beyond. [Chris gets the 'tone' of the catch-phrase completely, completely wrong; it sounds like some kind of [[Hello, Juffalo|deranged, toneless rap]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>

[short, stunned silence]

'''Troll:''' There's a snake in mah boot! I always liked that line.

'''Troll:''' I [inaudible] Oh, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, you were saying?

'''Troll:''' I was just saying, I have a toy [[pickle|Woody]], which when you pull the string he says "I have a snake in mah boots"...

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yep, those were sold in the toy stores.

'''Troll:''' I- I remember in like... one of my favorite type of movies is, um, martial arts.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I saw [[wikipedia:Kung Fu Panda|''Kung Fu Panda'']] like, recently... on Blu-ray.

[''Possible audio cut here?'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. Like, name- name a-a couple.

'''Chris:''' Oh I just uh- okay yeah, I can remember another one. Mmm. [[wikipedia:Hard Boiled|''Hard Boiled'']]. I got the collector's edition version of [[wikipedia:Stranglehold (video game)|''Stranglehold'']] PlayStation 3. That was...

'''Troll:''' Hey, ''Hard Boiled''? Wasn't that a [[Wikipedia:John Woo|John Woo]] movie with [[Wikipedia:Chow Yun-fat|Chow Yun-fat]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' And he's like, "Oh man, I love that one!" and he's- and he's got, and he has a gunfight in the hospital- that's a really good one.

'''Chris:''' And I saw [[wikipedia:Kill Bill|''Kill Bill''s volume I and II]].

'''Troll:''' Oh those are pretty impressive! [pause] Also, um. Have you ever heard about the new [[wikipedia:Dragonball Evolution|Dragonball movie]] that's about to come out... in two months?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. No, uh, ye- no- ye- no I haven't. But I have heard- but I have, uh watched a bunch of Dragonball episodes. Uhh... [[wikipedia:Dragonball#Anime series|Dragonball, Dragonball Z, 'n Dragonball GT]]... and I have seen some of the movies. Oh- a-and I have also seen the orig- the, uh, the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter (film)|''Street Fighter'' Movie]]... a long time ago.

'''Troll:''' Ooooh I remember that one.

'''Chris:''' And I'm also looking forward to the one where they... the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li|new ''Street Fighter'' movie]] that's coming out that's gonna be be [[Chris and English|surrounding]] [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

[''The trolls talk over each other at this point'']

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

'''Troll:''' Did you play [[wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|''Street Fighter IV''?]]

'''Troll:''' Ooh, Chun-Li was my favorite ''Street Fighter'' character... actually.

'''Chris:''' Me too.

[Julie and a troll talk over each other]

'''Julie:''' Oh wait-

'''Troll:''' -''reet Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Cuz Chris, I'm gonna get it and I wanna play against you...

'''Chris:''' What, ''Street Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah I was thinking about- yeah I-I was thinking about getting the collector's edition version... of that.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''The generic sound of junk being moved around in the background; a slight pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in ''Street Fighter'', like who do you use the most?

'''Chris:''' [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

'''Julie:''' I also use [[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan]].

'''Troll:''' I use [[wikipedia:Cammy|Cammy]].

'''Chris:''' In [[Soul Calibur]] I use [[wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. What a coincidence, I actually use [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]] a lot... um in um, ''Soul Calibur''.

'''Troll:''' I play [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cervantes|Cervantes]]. I like play Cervantes... a lot.

'''Chris:''' You don't saaaaaay. Hmm.

==== Broken Wii, More Games ====

'''Troll:''' Hey Chris, I've got a question.

'''Chris:''' [[Megatron Gun|Shoot]].

'''Troll:''' Uhh- two days ago my Wii broke and I have to send it in for repairs, and it's not gonna be back for like two weeks... what should—what do you think I should do to fill that time slot until I get it back?

'''Chris:''' Umm... do what you're normally doing right now- like as if uhh... you're living- I mean, you're pretty much living with that right now, just continue on with that... until uhh... you get it back.

'''Troll:''' Thanks Chris, that's great advice.

[The troll is very sarcastic. Chris [[autism|doesn't notice.]] ]

'''Chris:''' Simple, really! Not [[tobacky|rocket]] scEYEnce[sic].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' You play any other [[CWCFighter|fighting games]]... or have any other fighting games?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just mentioned [[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur|''S-Soul Calibur'']], just the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']], [''inaudible'']... I-I also played [[Wikipedia:Tekken|''Tekken'']].

'''Troll:''' Anything else?

'''Troll:''' I played that.

'''Chris:''' And-and a little bit of [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat|''Mortal Kombat'']].

'''Troll:''' Oh. Have you ever played, uh. You had a [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]] before, right? Or do you still have one?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I still have my Dreamcast.

'''Troll:''' You ever played ''Powerstorm''?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've- I've played a demo of ''Powerstorm''. ''[[Wikipedia:Power Stone|Power Stone]]''.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Playing into that thing, uh- on your [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]], did you ever play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']]?

'''Chris:''' No.

==== Anime, more games ====

'''Julie:''' Aaa- Chris, can I ask you a question?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What do you think of the [[Wikipedia:EarthBound (series)|''Mother'' series]]?

'''Chris:''' ...mmm. Y- Oh yeah- you told me about your favorite song from there... uhh- I don't know much ab- I don't know- I do not know much about it, so...

'''Troll:''' Uhh- It's also known as ''Earthbound'' when it came out on-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, ''Earthbound'', oh yeah,um, I mean I've heard- I may have heard about ''Earthbound''... oh yeah, that's right. I remember hearing that its Japanese name was ''Mother''... or it was also known as MOTH-A.

[''a stunned, confused silence settles over the trolls. Presumably there is an audio cut here.'']

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Mmmmm. [''pause''] Uhh... uhh, I don't think so.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' You should play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']].

'''Hamsty:''' What about [[Wikipedia:Free Realms|Free Realms]]?

'''Troll:''' Yeah the whole... the whole... fanchat was playing ''Phantasy Star Online'' for the past few days, it was fun.

[''The sound of some kind of tapping can be heard in the background; presumably this is Chris because there is a pause and he doesn't speak until the tapping stops.'']

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other, along with a burst of static'']

'''Julie:''' -lay with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh. I might consider that. [Chris doesn't sound sincere]

'''Troll:''' I mean, we could show you how to get set up and everything.

'''Chris:''' Uhh- I don't- yeah well, I don't, I mean- uhh... Not tonight. [''pause''] But I'll consider it.

'''Julie:''' Okay-

'''Troll:''' Oh, also, also, um, [''Julie begins to talk over the troll''] reading to the left-

'''Julie:''' I mean, Jaggy, [''Julie is very unclear here''] Sorry, could you let someone else, everyone Jaggy, I didn't mean to hurry up- I mean, Chris, you can actually be [[Sonic]], in it! It's awesome!

'''Troll:''' Yeah, actually I'm playing as [[Tails]]!

[more clicking]

'''Chris:''' [[Sammy|Duuhokay]]!

[''pause'']

==== Music and Computers ====

'''Troll:''' What do you think of [[the Beatles]]?

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' It's, uh, just an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion|HP Pavilion]].

'''Julie:''' What Operating System do you have, W-Windows XP?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Windosse [sic] XP.

'''Julie:''' How much [[Random Access Humor|RAM]] do you have?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I don't know how much RA- how much total... RAM I have, but uh... yeah... I've pretty much got my... got my memory capacity- fill it up with like... tracks from iTunes, [[sex tape|some videos]], and, uh, [[rule 34|images]].

[[computers|Chris stupidly confuses the volatile Random Access Memory (or RAM) in a computer with permanent hard drive storage.]] [''This is from someone who, according to what he told [[Kacey]]'s father in the [[Father Call]], "...took a computer upgrading class where [he] put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch."'']

[''stunned silence'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Ohh. Ohh. [[Wikipedia:Central processing unit|CPU]] Speed...

'''Troll:''' Like, your- your hard disk space... is for gigabytes and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well. I don't know what my- [stress sigh]

[''audio cut; volume is very muted and quiet when it comes back'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... 'bout [[random-access humor|random-access memory]].

'''Troll:''' Also, um, [[Hamsty]] said, um, what-what do you think of the Beatles? [the troll has a noticeable echo]

'''Chris:''' Uhh, they're okay. I- [''pause''] I mean, [''static''] I mean, I've heard the Beatles, but it's not like I've formed a total... full opinion of them. But you know, they're okay.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

[pause; the sound of shit getting moved around and occasional quiet muttering is present in the background for almost twenty seconds here]

==== Identifying a Homo ====

'''Troll:''' Uhh, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Troll:''' You know that [[homo|friend]] that uh- you told me to get rid of? He sent me an e-mail... and he's saying uh- wait let me read it. This e-mail says, uh... "Dude, I'm not gay, your room is so small and there's nowhere to sit; 'course I sat next to you, how else- I mean, w-what else was I supposed to do?" Lemme skim over it... and then, at the end here, he says, uh, "Dude, get it through your fucking head as much as you possibly can; I AM STRAIGHT." What am I supposed to say to him? Is he- is he gay or what?

[''The occasional sound of typing was heard while the [[troll]] was talking; Chris obviously wasn't paying any attention and has, almost certainly, [[Chris and his Ego|completely forgotten about an event which didn't directly concern him]] ]

'''Chris:''' I- I'm sorry could you-, I'm sorry, so, he-he-he... he said that he was... straight?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, he's telling me that he only sat next to me because my room was so small.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''Chris has obviously forgotten'']

'''Troll:''' You know, the friend that thought I was [[Homos|gay]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah! Hmm. [''long pause''] Mmm.

'''Troll:''' I think he's lying, I think he's gay.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''Chris's voice rises to a [[speech impediment|high pitched squeak]], outshining even [[Julie]]''] Well there is one thing... y-y-there is a, uh... test you could figure out... uhh... you could fill out- uhh... do you have any [[''Sailor Moon'' poster|posters]] in your room?

'''Troll:''' Uhh... wait, my room?

[''It sounds like Chris is [[obesity|eating something]] in the background, possibly with a wrapper. It's a little disgusting.'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Where y'all would... hang out.

'''Troll:''' Not really.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay, well, uh... fill half the- fill half your-, cover half of your [[room]] with- [the troll talks over Chris] with- with-

'''Troll:''' Oh you-you mean like a [[Sailor Moon]] poster? Yeah, I have one of those.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, lemme- [Chris sounds annoyed] let me finish. Cover half of your room with pic-uh, with posters of [[china|women]]. Half of your room with posters of women. You know, c- you know, could be [[anime]], bikinis, oooor... posters you pull out from a ''[[Playboy]]''.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, I-I have those, yeah.

'''Chris:''' And then uh, on the other half of your room fill them up with, uh... posters of... [[homos|guys]]. [''pause''] And like uh, you know you could- [''the troll interrupts'']

'''Troll:''' I-I-I don't know about that man, I'm not gay.

'''Chris:''' I know, but you know you don't have to put- you don't have to... put them in, like, you know, their [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|underwear]], but you could use like war hero posters like, uh, like a c... poster. Something like that.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, uh-

'''Troll:''' But uh, [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare|''Call of Duty'']]'s not gay!

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I know but, you know... [''pause''] yeah. But anyway uh, just go half your room in women posters and the other half of your room with uh... guy posters but uh- and then see which uh- which side of the room he leans towards. More.

'''Troll:''' But what if he really likes ''Call of Duty''? Does that mean he's gay? Urggh...

'''Chris:''' Maybe you could cover up the... title of the game if you wanted to, or uh j- or just like, fold it over. You know, just move the game title- but just like, you know, make sure you have the guy- just y'know. Just having the guy there and then... you know-

'''Troll:''' But it's a guy shooting stuff. That's awesome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but to a h- a but to- when you think about it... if you, uh, think about it, like if you were trying to get into the mind of a... homo... person...? He would see that as something different. [''pause''] But anyway uhh-

'''Troll:''' Uhh- I think it's awesome, like... pictures of a guy like, in army gear and shit, like, and shooting people-

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah but, uh, anyway, yeah, it just depends on his point of view and his perspective- but anyway, point is: [[Silvana|half women, half guys]], see which uh, side of the room he looks more towards. Or... leans towards. Or goes to.

'''Troll:''' Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but I-I I liked ''Call of Duty'', and like- posters of guys, like shooting s-things- I mean, I have a ''[[Wikipedia:Contra 4|Contra 4]]'' poster in my room, does that mean I'm- I'm gay?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no. I'm just uh-

'''Troll:''' Okay, cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like you know if you were to like uh, decorate your room, you would probably- you would likely put up more... posters of women than- posters- than have posters of... guys. W- So uh, when you think about that, uh yeah, that let's you- that reminds you that you're definitely straight if you put up more- up more posters of uh, women that's a good sign that you're straight. I have mo- I have more posters of women in my room.

==== Chris... I Wanna Take You To A Gay Bar ====

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What is so wrong with [[homos]]? I mean, I-I know that you don't exactly like them, but... what's wrong with having just a few... homosexual buddies? They're not gonna... you know. They're, you know... good people. You should give 'em- you should give at least one a chance. You should- [''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, but uh yeah, but yeah... see uh, you know I'm going to... associate, and uh... and n-now I to respect them, but it's just like, you know- I don't want to get- I don't want to be... too close.

'''Julie:''' No, but you see it's- the thing is- they won't go near a straight man...! They can tell that you're straight! Don't worry, if you just give one a chance and try to be friends with them, maybe play some more... play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]''... maybe play some ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''... have some [[hanky panky|fun]], not try and- just don't... just- just try to have fun with them. Just try for me. Can you please do that? Just try for me?

'''Chris:''' Well, that depends if I ever... meet one.

'''Julie:''' Can you go to like... a social place?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well.

'''Julie:''' A-A dance club! What about... what about like a straight- like, an everything dance club... do you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, mmm... I tell you what. I might go to a dance club... uhh, after you- after you get here so that [[virgin with rage|I don't have to feel alone]].

'''Julie:''' A'right.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''He sounds relieved that this particular conversation thread is mostly over'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' I have a question.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' M'kay.

==== The Medallion ====

'''Brit-Troll:''' Okay um, since I don't want to keep talking about gay men since that's not my thing, anyways this is about your [[medallion]] quest. Okay, uhh, anyways- anyways- what are the uh, the origins of your medallion, like when did you make it, is there any particular reason you wear it *all the time*, if you do, and if this is in any way related to your [[love quest]]? [''pause''] Yes, that's what I'm wondering as well.

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|I made it because I wanted to.]]

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' But-

'''Chris:''' Plus, plus, me wearing it all the time is like me wearing a name-tag but it's not like it has my... name... on the front.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but Chris he was asking why- WHY did you want to, is the question? [''pause''] You must have some motivation.

'''Chris:''' I didn't really have- I don't think I really have any motivation... as far as I can- as far as I can remember. Because that was, like, years ago.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Um like w-when exactly though Chris? Was this in, um, in [[2000]] when you first made [[Sonichu]], or when you uhh- first made [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]] in, uh, I believe [[2004]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, around 2004 or... [[2003]] I started drawing comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' W-Was that when you um... first made the medallion though? Cuz we've- we've seen you-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't... I don't remember *when* I made the medal...?

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' B-But-bu-bu-[''stammers incoherently''] but it definitely like- it definitely would have been like before I started drawing any comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yes, yes.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Oh Chris, I have another question for you!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Two actually uhm, one... do you think you could make me a cool medallion like yours... when I get there?

'''Chris:''' I *might*.

'''Julie:''' Awesome. [''pause''] And uh, the other question- w-what happened to the [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I'm still talk- you know I st-still talk to [[Sarah May]], but uh... I just haven't been there much since, uh... since... [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or troll or whatever... hacked into my... Sonichu Girls account.

'''Julie:''' Ahh, I see. Wait- someone hacked into your Sonichu Girls account? That's awful!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I can't believe some [[JERK]] would do that- that makes me so mad!

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

==== Friends with Men ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Sarah... Sarah May... you can hear me on there, uh... you know you can hit me... set that back up. Whenever you can.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hey I was just wondering, uh- you know [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]]... is he your friend or what? I heard you know- you don't like to be [[JERK|friends with guys]], but... is he like a exception or what?

'''Chris:''' Mmm? Mmm- no, no.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' But he seems like really good friends with you though.

'''Julie:''' So we can, like, hate him or...?

'''Chris:''' No, no... I don't... hate him. Uhh... yeah, it's- he's more of a buddy.

'''Troll:''' So... he's like the only buddy as far as like guys go... right?

'''Chris:''' I've had uhh... a few buddies in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' Oooh, I thought you like hated guys or something... or-or didn't feel comfortable around them. Or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a combination.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but what about [[bob|Robert]]? I me-that's very interesting...

'''Chris:''' Wa-wa-wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. It's not necessarily th- it is NOT that I hate g- hate all men... I just the ones that are- that have- that are really... [[jerks]], which that'll be the majority of the male population.

[''The trolls talk over each other for nearly thirty seconds here, with occasional breaks'']

'''Troll:''' Isn't that sexist, Chris?

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' That's- that's... yeah That's kinda- that's kinda rough, Chris. It'd be kinda mean if someone said you liked- if [''inaudible''] fuck most 90% of all the population of something...

'''Troll:''' Very, very insensitive...

'''Troll:''' ...would die, or something...

'''Troll:''' ...not nice...

'''Troll:''' ...I mean, who-who would say that?

'''Chris:''' I have known a lot of jerks in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' I mean, uh, I confess, we all have.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but how far have you really traveled to see that Ch-Chris have- like, you know, there's so many other places in the world that- where men can actually be nice.

'''Troll:''' I mean, but not nice in the [[It's UGH!|gay way]].

[''The trolls finally stop talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' [MASSIVE stress sigh] Yeah I... don't know how to answer those questions cuz... I never traveled around the world. This far-The farthest I've ever traveled was to California on airplane... [[Cole Smithey|to visit my half-]]

'''Troll:''' [''inaudible''] -a neat place!

[''the trolls talk over each other again'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should go on a road trip.

'''Troll:''' Chris!

'''Troll:''' The world's a pretty good guy, eh?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well-

'''Troll:''' I mean, I can understand... like, a jerk move would be like... say, you're a friend with some lady and then some guy comes and takes her away from you, like, even though he knows you're in a relationship with her, but, like, if-if like, y-you've never ever known these people before, I mean how is it more of a- h-how does it really make them a jerk if you've never really met them and they didn't even know you or... you know, haven't had the chance yet.

'''Chris:''' Ummm... not really sure.

[pause; soft beep in the background]

'''Troll:''' Oh.

==== On The Transgender Community ====

'''Cameron:''' Hmm. Oh, Chris- I. I have a question for you. Uhm... I recall asking you once, like a few... chats ago... if you ever thought about being a cyborg and... you said no... but you thought about being a girl, and, you know, you went on... [[Family Guy|signed a package God gave you]]. But theeen, towards the end, you said that um, transgender people... male-to-female to be specific- uh, you suggested that they should... actually go ahead and have the surgery... um, since they're taking the hormones and I'm just wondering... some transwomen don't really have a problem with that area, I'm just- curious why you would suggest that.

'''Chris:''' Ok what- okay what you're saying... it's not what- it's not what I sugge- I-I-I never said anything like, uh, anything about the trans-gender people, or... taking a- or taking any surgery or what like that. You might- you might be uh, be confusing that to, uh, to where, to where I said that... I'd sooner change my gender b- then, before I- before I became a homo.

[''It's obvious that Chris either forgot or chose to forget when he said this statement; unfortunately, that part of the chat is part of a previous mumble which hasn't been completely transcribed. At least, [[BlueSpike]] and Cameron are quite convinced it occurred; if anyone knows where Chris said that, feel free to link it in.'']

[''sound of typing in the background'']

'''Julie:''' Actually Chris, um... Cameron's right- I think you did say that.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I don't remember.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Yeah we- we have a [[CWCki|record]], 'n... I just remember that.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, I mean, what do you think of [[Lovely Weather|trans-women]] in general? I mean- I know they're not sweetheart material, but... in general. Like, should they... go under the knife?

'''Chris:''' Um... [''long pause''] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh- with both sets of uh... genitals... I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.

'''Cameron:''' Reeeally. Well, f-first [sound of Windows beeping] of all, um, uhh, both sets or something like that is actually called inter-sexed- and it c-

[audio cut]

'''Cameron:''' And uh... yeah, that's an old archaic term, Gecko-

'''Troll:''' I was wondering, uh-

'''Cameron:''' Oh go ahead, Falsion-

'''Chris:''' W-well either, well either way, transgender or hermaphrodite I'd raise them as a male.

'''Falsion:''' I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Chris-

'''Falsion:''' -when the child was born, couldn't you just like get an operation to have one set removed?

'''Cameron:''' I think it should be up to the child's choice eventually, I mean that does-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Falsion:''' Hold on, lemme talk for a second.

'''Cameron:''' Okay, go Falsion.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh... Chris, like, say if you were dating a girl... and it turned out [[Julie|she]] [[Sarah May|actually]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|had]] [[PandaHalo|a]] [[Blanca|penis]], what would you do? Cuz' I had- I had that happen to me once.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] I'd [[Chris Loses It|freak out]] and probably throw up.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, you would throw up because-

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, me too, I-

'''Cameron:''' -your son was... transgender?

'''Chris:''' What? No no no no no no... I meant, if I was dating a [[troll|woman]], and I thought she was truly woman [sic], but then I found out she was a hermaphrodite or a trans-gender... then-

'''Cameron:''' But- but... but yoooou... said that you... support their decisions to do that... why would you... why would you like, you know-

'''Troll:''' Freak out.

'''Cameron:''' Freak out about it.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhhh...

'''Julie:''' Yeah c'mon, people can do that operation thing, they don't- they- they feel kind of... well, people feel kinda picked on when they just don't get dates because of [[pickle|that]]. [''pause''] And it makes people feel bad, Chris, it kind of does.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhgh. I'm sorry, it's... mmm.

'''Julie:''' It's- it's okay.

==== A Wild Kitty Appears! ====

[''pause'']

[''Four soft beeps; the first two and last are identical, the third appears to be a Skype noise. Horrific, tortured yowling can be heard.'']

'''Chris:''' Hi there sweety.

[''More beeps, more pained yowling'']

'''Chris:''' Excuse me. It's my cat. Excuse me. Hi sweety, what do you want? Are you hungry? Come on, I'll give you some food.

'''Julie:''' Can I talk to the kitty?

[''Sound like a large avalanche of junk'']

[''Even more pained yowling.'']

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hi Lucy! There you go.

[''Hamsty giggles in the background; the general drift is 'it's okay, go on'.'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? [''pause''] Did [''inaudible''] log out?

'''Chris:''' I was talking to my cats.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' What kind of cats do you have?

[''pause'']

[''sound of typing'']

'''Julie:''' Kitty!

==== Return Of The Dickgirls ====

'''Falsion:''' So uh, about the things we were saying before; if you found out, like, you know, would you still love that person?

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''pause''] uhh. If I f-

'''Falsion:''' Like, if you had feelings for...

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''longer pause''] mmm. Hey [[Snorlax|Mum]], whatcha up to?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Oh, okay...

[''sound of mountains of junk, trash and rubbish being shuffled around'']

'''Snorlax:''' [''faint''] Somebody poop?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Yeeeah... Kitty did it already, I cleaned it up.

[''possibly someone muttering in the background'']

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] I did.

[''pause, moving of junk'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Right, so what was the question?

'''Julie:''' Wait, is that your mother? Can I talk to her?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, no she just left.

[''Julie, Falsion and Cameron talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' Aww, okay.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah Cogs said that- pretty much said it.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, to your left.

[''End talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah so, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Like... if you loved someone- I mean, a girl and it turned out that [[Silvana|she had a penis]], would you still love her?

'''Chris:''' Ooooh yeah. Uhh, mmm. No, I'd pre- no, I'd pretty much uh... break it off, but you know-

'''Falsion:''' Not even friends?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, not even friends...?

'''Chris:''' I mean but uh, yeah but I mean, uh, yeah, I- I mean break up... relationship and go back to being [[friend zone|just friends]].

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Okay.

'''Cameron:''' Oooh, okay.

'''Julie:''' But Chris, looks don't always matter, shouldn't it be the [[BlueSpike|person itself]]? I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Really, yeah!

'''Julie:''' I mean, not, not what's on the outside but what's on the insi-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie'']- I-I said I'd still be friends with that person. [''Windows beeping'']

'''Julie:''' Yes well- yes, but why would you still break with them just 'cuz of that?

'''Chris:''' I don't mean- I meant... I meant, I meant, [[death threats|kill them]]- I meant, still be friends but... not be [[rule 34|romantic]].

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Also, I was wondering, um- I watch a lot of television and I was wondering um- do you watch professional wrestling? I love it, my father loves it, and um-

'''Chris:''' Uhhhh... no, not- no, I don't watch it often. No.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, like, you don't watch WWE or um... the Ultimate Fighting Championship?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I don't.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' It just never really- it just never really interested me.

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Fail ====

[''The audio becomes extremely muted here'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, okay.

[''pause, sound of mouse clicks and typing in the background'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Also uhh, can you tell us, what's your favorite cartoon character?

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Uhh... who wants to know about it?

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Me and [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah well, when I heard, uh, it would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] I mean, you know but before him, I would say my hero would be [[The American Rabbit]].

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, that's great.

[''Several trolls talk at once; due to the extreme quietness of the audio it is inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] -I mean, wait. Does that mean Sonic qualifies as like [''inaudible''] considering like you show... or, like, [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] I consider it the number one in most ways.

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Yes but uh- that qualifies as a cartoon character if it's a video game... character.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yes but he was also in a cartoon though, he had uh [''inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] I remember that too like, like, when I was a little kid [[wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog|The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog]]- that's a fun show.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yeah. [''inaudible''] Um Chris, which show did you like- did you like the one with uh, like the one which was on Saturday mornings, or... did you like the one with uh, with the [''inaudible'']

[''Transcriber's note: Warning to listeners who may have their volume cranked to hear: the next speaker, presumably the person recording the conversation, has their volume at a normal level.'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] They were all [[wikipedia:Jaleel White|Steve Urkel]] as Sonic.

[''Jaleel White, most famous for his role as Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, also voiced the character of Sonic the Hedgehog and other characters for Sonic the Hedgehog media.'']

[''Chris's next reply is muted and quiet again'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah, th- [''inaudible'']

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Restored ====

[''From this point on, the audio is back to normal'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] D-did ya' like the one that had Sally, and-

[''Chris and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah, I liked the-

'''Troll:''' -Bonny, and other characters?

'''Chris:''' -Yeah- Yeah- I liked the [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday Morning]] better than the... [[wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|weekday]].

[''Transcriber's note: There were two Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons showing at the time Chris was a kid. One was a shitty weekday serial which was basically slapstick comedy and [[random access humor]] while the other was a much more serious show. Surprisingly, Chris favored the serious show.'']

'''Falsion:''' I absolutely agree.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, that was a much better one.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah. It was on, um- I think it was called like... the first one was The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, the second was SatAM... then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic Underground|Sonic Underground]]-

[''Transcriber's note: SatAM is the nickname given to [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|the serious Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon series.]]'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' -then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]].

==== Chris's Life as a Soap Opera ====

'''Troll:''' Here's a question, what's your favorite soap opera?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, d-do you watch them?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I watch soap opera- yeah, I've watched soap operas... I'd say, I've watched more- I've watched most often [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]].

'''Cameron:''' OooOOOOoooh.

'''Chris:''' A-And then- and then I also- [''Windows beeping''] during my teenage years I also watched [[wikipedia:Undressed|MTV's Undressed]].

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

'''Falsion:''' I'm watching a soap opera.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, Chris- do you sometimes ever get the feeling that your life is kinda... a soap opera?

'''Chris:''' [''sounding annoyed''] Yees. Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. How so?

'''Chris:''' Just feels that- it just feels that way.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. The only thing-

'''Chris:''' You know, I get- I get a lot of [[trolls|drama]] in my lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ahh. Do you- do you think that making your videos just... feeds into that a bit more?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] A lot of things have been... [[obesity|fed]]... to my... lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Chris:''' So it's like... well. A lot. A lot of stuff. Like, yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, you gotta keep doing what you do, you know, don't let the anyone get you down or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Just... just like, the end of a [[Asperchu|very good story]], like, everybody's life has a happy ending. The heroes. It's like a very good story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Cameron:''' Ooooh, hans-

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Falsion:''' Oh yeah- yeah- Hans here had a question here. He said- I he- I heard you're going to make a Chris Chandler show.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; Chris sounds annoyed''] That has- that has not been decided fully yet. Uhh, [[Vivian]] suggested it.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' I think it's a great idea!

'''Various Trolls:''' Yeah! Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I would watch it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Like, if you did do that, would you do it on like a weekly basis or-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- yeah I'd say more of a-

'''Falsion:''' -like a daily, or like a monthly-

'''Chris:''' -I'd say more- I'd say more a weekly.

'''Troll:''' I'd watch it every time, I mean...

'''Falsion:''' How long would each show be?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I- obviously ten minutes, I mean, there's uh- that's a limit.

'''Falsion:''' Well you could divide it- [''Various trolls interject, Falsion shouts over them''] DIVIDE it into parts?

'''Julie:''' Yeah you should make it like half an hour, e-every week.

'''Chris:''' Uhgh...

'''Falsion:''' Like Sonic SatAM.

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't know. Uhh, that's for me to decide... eventually.

==== A Terrible Idea is Born====

'''Troll:''' Also like The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog you could- you should add a segment for the [[Zapina|children]], like, you know, like, "Ask Chris" or "Chris Says"-

[''Trolls talk over each other here, the general drift is to suggest names for the title.'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah like telling peo- telling kids not to do drugs and stuff like that.

'''Troll:''' [''static-y''] [[Megan|Sexual]] [[The Wallflower|harassment]] and all that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Plus, will- [''audio cut'']

==== Rosechu-porn ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Just make an [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|eighteen-or-over section]] so we can all see the... comics-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie''] Yeah I'll- I'll-

'''Julie:''' I'd love it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll eventually make one of those, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

[''Various trolls interject and try to talk, but Falsion wins'']

'''Falsion:''' -Chris. [''pause''] Yeah you know Chris, I heard something about a uh... [[homo|poke'boy]] magazine I reckon that'd be pretty cool to release, you know. With the uh- with the uh... photos, and pinups of the-of all the Sonichu... uhh- the Rosechu girls. That uh, that I think'd- [''Chris talks over Falsion''] it'd be kind of fun.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Yeah well for your information it's two syllables, Rose-Chu, not Rose-a-chu it's...

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay. It's uh- it's uh-

'''Chris:''' [''quietly''] It's okay.

'''Falsion:''' It's west coast dialect.

==== Chris and Sonic Games ====

'''Cameron:''' I'm not sure if it's been asked before Chris, but do you prefer the 2D Sonic games or the 3D ones? Cuz' I like- I like the ones on the Genesis the best...

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Ahh. [''pause''] Mmm. I think I like 3D better.

'''Falsion:''' Hmm. [''pause''] In my opinion Sonic 3D was the best.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh, that one was pretty awesome.

'''Troll:''' Definitely.

'''Chris:''' That was the first- that was the first... 3D attempt at putting Sonic in 3D world, [''Chris slurs his words into an indecipherable mess''] anyway.

'''Troll:''' Actually, my favorite one was where you would take-

[''A troll tries to talk over the first, but the first starts again after a brief pause'']

'''Troll:''' My favorite one was where you would take Sonic and Knuckles and a- and latch Sonic 3 onto it, that was a great game.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== Back to the Show ====

'''Falsion:''' Also, um. I was wondering. If you were doing the show, would it be scripted or would it be like an improvisation, unscripted format? And would it have commercial... breaks?

'''Chris:''' Urgh... I would probably improvise, and [[Chris and Money|no commercial breaks]].

'''Falsion:''' O...kay.

[''silence'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, wait. Commercial breaks... don't you understand how TV works?

[''various trolls talk over each other, Cameron wins'']

'''Cameron:''' How do you think they make money?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I know but uh... [''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah you could actually make money!

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm not really sure how to do commercials on that note, so... I might just assume, uh...

'''Cameron:''' Or you could do it like [[wikipedia:Jimmy Kimmel|Jimmy Kimmel]], he does them on his show... live?

'''Falsion:''' You could just do your-

'''Troll:''' -yeah!-

'''Falsion:''' -own multiple cuts, then like, take a break in between them uh- and between like let some stress out, get everything organized-

'''Troll:''' -like the-

'''Falsion:''' -you know.

'''Troll:''' Put an ad commercial there, you in there... insurance [''very unclear''].

'''Troll:''' Or put in like some clips from your [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] or something. Or put on songs, or-

[''Chris talks over the troll, but he keeps going.'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh no, I-I- [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -waiting music, or something like that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I'd have to th- I don't [''voice trails off''] know I'd have to... go think about.

'''Troll:''' Okay.

==== Magazines ====

'''Cameron:''' Oh Chris, um- you remember a troll by the name of, uh, hottie96 on YouTube?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no I don't.

'''Cameron:''' Oh well you don't? Oh, okay. Well, she [''static''] posted a video... of someone who... sent you... um, [[niggo|African-American]] magazines.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, someone... put-[''static''] uhh, subscribed you- to your subscription for Jet, Essence, and uh... Vibe. And I was wondering-

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Cameron:''' -if those actually ever showed up.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] None of them showed up.

'''Cameron:''' None of them? Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' Ok good, because you know-

==== Daily Routine ====

'''Troll:''' Actually, I have a question.

[''pause'']

[''audio cut; the question is lost. Presumably, based on Chris's answer, it was about his daily routine.'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Yeah, it's- it varies, uh... you know, one day I'll be doing one thing, then next day I'll be doing something else, then some days I have to take a rest. Take- take days off.

'''Troll:''' Y-Yeah, I noticed that. It's like uh... it's like I can never tell like... w-what was it, I forgot what I was going to say.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] It's called a life.

'''Troll:''' Oh, Hamsty is saying... well, what do you do? You don't have a job.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' That was Hamsty and not me.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... sure. Um... [''pause''] I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

'''Troll:''' Hamsty is saying that you don't have a job, I mean, so you must have l-like a lot of free time so, you know, what do you do?

[''audio cut'']

'''Cameron:''' -me!

'''Chris:''' Oh. Mmm.

'''Troll:''' That's lucky.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah. Oh Chris, I have a question related-

'''Troll:''' Wait, let him answer.

'''Troll:''' Yes, I'm sorry.

'''Troll:''' Don't smother him like that.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... [''pause''] Yeah I can't really describe my uh... daily schedule on a... whim. At the moment. [''soft 'pong!' in the background''] And uh... Yeah I'd rather not say.

'''Chris:''' I get stressed one day and then I have to ta- then I have to recover.

[''murmur of troll agreement'']

'''Troll:''' I understand Chris.

'''Falsion:''' I mean, you seem kinda busy all the time, I mean...

'''Troll:''' And if you're working on things you like all day, and usually that's how you relieve stress, if you get stressed from that- if you do that to relieve stress the next day, then how is that t-taking a day off?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Uhhm... [''pause''] I don't know. I'm getting ti- these questions uh, I'm feeling uncomfortable with these questions.

==== Chris is Stressed, Moving On ====

'''Troll Chorus:''' Okay.

'''Troll:''' Hamsty has another question though. Since y- [''audio goes extremely quiet here, inaudible'']

[''Presumably, the question was about what Sonichu would sound like.'']

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I've always wondered what Sonichu sounded like...

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''Chris uses his 'Sonichu' voice, which is exactly identical to his normal voice, just a little less stressed''] Hey [[Rosechu|Rosey]], I'm gonna go take a swim!

[''shocked pause'']

[''Many trolls join in an approving chorus'']

'''Troll:''' Nice!

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's pretty cool.

[''Many, many voices, too numerous to make out']

'''Troll:''' Really bad-arse.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Troll:''' ...bad, bad, bad...

==== Comics Questions ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, Chris I had a question- kinda related to the comics. If you could have any, like, major big time company... publish it... uh, who would it be? Like uhh, you know, DC, or Marvel, or someone like that. Would you-

'''Chris:''' uhh-

'''Troll:''' -mind putting it out.

'''Chris:''' -I'd say probably Archie comics.

'''Troll:''' Oh nice, sticking with the classics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yeah, they did the uh, Sonic comics.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh uhh, Chris- um. Cogs had a question, I'll read it... um. Are your comics going to feature any lesbian relationships?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I don't think so.

'''Cameron:''' Oh? How come?
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|''I'm promoting being straight.'' -- Christian Weston Chandler.]]
'''Chris:''' I'm promoting being straight... for one thing.

'''Cameron:''' Mm hmm!

'''Falsion:''' Ooooh, we thought you were okay with like, lesbians and stuff.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, wi.

'''Chris:''' Well, I mean... I might, I might not I don't know- it just... it's a f- it's an, uh, future thing so... it's uncertain at the moment.

'''Cameron:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Falsion:''' Ahh. O-One thing, you said you wanted the game to go, like, multi-platform between... Nintendo and like the PlayStation, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Well, what I'm confused about isn't- isn't Pokemon like a trademark of Nintendo? How would that work out? There would be a lot of copyright...

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's voice is shrill and hysterical''] I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW, I'm not a business... genius. I don't know. I'm not a business genius.

'''Falsion:''' I was just asking.

[''pause, loud sound of typing in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... yeah, I don't yeah I don't- yeah... it's I-it's only a possibility, just a random- just a random idea I had. It's just like- yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Sailor Moon ====

'''Troll:''' Chris, I've just remembered something. Uhh- I- you're good- you're a pretty- you're a pretty big Sailor Moon fan, weren't there some lesbians in Sailor Moon?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] You're thinking of... Sailor Neptune and Uranus. [''Chris uses the other pronunciation of Uranus, [[homos#Fear of being a homo|probably to avoid that whole 'Your Anus' thing.]]'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah!

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I thought what they had was pretty special, I mean, you could do something like that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'm not sure about that.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, speaking of Sailor Moon, who's your favorite Sailor Scout?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Oh, um, by the way, speaking of Sailor Moon, what's your favorite Sailor Scout- if you don't mind me asking.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Who is your favorite Sailor Scout, out of the whole group?

'''Troll:''' Sailor Jupiter for me.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Falsion:''' Mine is, um-

[''Chris and Falsion answer at the same time'']

'''Chris:''' I like Mercury.

'''Falsion:''' -Mercury.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah, she was hot.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' I liked Chibi-moon.

'''Cameron:''' I liked Sailor Saturn.

'''Troll:''' I haven't got the opportunity to watch that show since it was on-

[''audio cut'']

==== Other Cartoons ====

'''Troll:''' Have you seen [[wikipedia:InuYasha|Inu Yasha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yah.

'''Troll:''' What do you- what did ya' think of it?

'''Chris:''' Good show.

'''Troll:''' Cool, cool. What's your favorite character?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'd say [[wikipedia:List_of_InuYasha_characters#Protagonists|Kagome]].

'''Troll:''' What about- umm, what's some other stuff on... you watch Adult Swim, right? Have you seen [[wikipedia:Code Geass|Code Geese]] [sic]? I think that's what it...

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Code GEASS.

'''Troll:''' Yeah yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've seen that.

'''Cameron:''' Noodle people!

'''Troll:''' What do you- what do you think of uh, you know uh, you know any characters you like..?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... C- I haven't really gotten into that- gotten really fully into it yet. I mean I watched the bi-

'''Troll:''' -yeah-

'''Chris:''' I mean I started watching it when I... got into Adult Swim because I saw, uh, a Japanese PSP game... that had- that was, uh, had like- had that- those- uh- that was of Code Geass, but uh... and the guy- and the guy- that reminded me of... Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Yo!.

'''Troll:''' Uhh Chris, since I've noticed you like anime and also romantic ones could I recommend like two anime for you, by any chance?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] ...Yeah, sure.

'''Troll:''' A'right, I've got your Skype right here, so I can... I'll PM- I'll PM you the links even? Like, one's called, '[[wikipedia:Higurashi no Naku Koro ni|When They Cry]]' and the other's called '[[wikipedia:List of School Days episodes|School Days]]', which I think you might like most. [''Transcriber's note: Chris is HIGHLY unlikely to enjoy either of these, except for the fact there's a lot of women in them.'']

'''Chris:''' I'll see.

'''Troll:''' Uhrm- Hang on, I'll get you the links. Also-

[''audio cut'']

==== All About Cocks ====

'''Chris:''' -uhh, Super Nintendo and the GameCube. [''pause''] I dunno, for the Super Nintendo I'd like uh... [''pause''] mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Hey Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' When it comes to Anime, do you like girls who are kind of... more-more of a sweet, you know, kind, soft hearted disposition or do you like them to be [[CWCFighter|strong fighters]]?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I like both, actually. [''pause''] But I think I'm uh more into the- I think I'm... like, you know, if I could put, you know, [[Silvana|half-half]].

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um. Also, on [[Adult Swim]], you ever watch an Anime called- um [[wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Shin Chan]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Shin-Chan.

'''Falsion:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah I mean it's uh, it's okay, but I don't care much for uh... the [[nudes|nudie]] parts. I don't care- I don't care much for [[Speech impediment|dem]] [sic].

[''Another troll talks over Cameron, but his voice is more audible'']

'''Cameron:''' Why don't you like the nude parts, you have a problem with the... human body?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

[''Cameron and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean you [[Sonichu 8|draw it in your comics]] so you must have plenty to say-

'''Cameron:''' [''singing''] You must have hooonor- honooor honor and a peeeenis...

[''silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Yeah I don't like look'n- yeah I just don't like looking at- I-I just- dicks offend me.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um, ever seen [[wikipedia:Case Closed|Case Closed]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh. [''pause''] Uhh Chris, remember that one time you drew uhh, [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu with his penis out]]? Were you offended by that or what?

'''Chris:''' I drew it with a condom.

'''Falsion:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I- I never drew it-

'''Falsion:''' Oh, with a condom it's okay, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Large difference.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' I- I'm sorry man, I'm sorry.

'''Cameron:''' So... how exactly does Sonichu's penis work? It- it slides out...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' We went through this in the comic, though... You should read the comic.

[''the trolls shout over each other'']

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I still don't understand it, kind of.

'''Falsion:''' You must be illiterate, then.

'''Chris:''' Bueh he-[''sic''] First he has to get stiff, and den [''sic''] he has to lean forward to make it come out. I got the idea from-

'''Cameron:''' I don't really me-

'''Chris:''' -I got the idea from the line where he says [[wikipedia:And the Wiener Is...|"Hey, mine goes inside me when I stand up, how do you think I feel?"]]

[''the trolls talk over each other; all dialog inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, Hamsty had a question.

'''Troll:''' Yes. Hamsty asked, "Are you into poop, Chris? Cuz that's a kink-"

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -Cuz that's kinky, I remember you said you had on... [[dirty, crapped briefs|crapped briefs]].

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Yeah. I don't like poo.

'''Troll:''' No-one does.

'''Falsion:''' Only [[Christian Weston Chandler|sick weirdos]] like poop.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I know I don't.

'''Falsion:''' I won't say much then.

'''Chris:''' What?

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, we were talking to Clyde.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well I had- well I had up some [[vivitheg's aim chat|cat poo]] now and then, 'n... [''pause''] Uhh-

'''Falsion:''' -did you get a boner?

'''Chris:''' I was trying, I was trying- nnn. What?

[''pause'']

====On Dirty, Crapped Briefs====

'''Falsion:''' Okay, um. Remember [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS#Transcript|that time]] you were arguing with Clyde, 'n... you said you had like, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]]? Like, why did you say that to him? [''pause''] I'm kinda confused by that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I was uh- I don't know, he-he caught- I don't know, I was, I was... I don't know why I said it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Oh, oh, I- [''Falsion and a troll talk over each other''] remember what happened now.

'''Troll:''' -Yeah, you said you had dirty, crapped briefs. I remember, cuz-cuz he was, he was, calling you on the uhh- um, on- on the um, on the [[nudes|women's underwear thing]]. That's right.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, yeah yeah yeah. That's right. [''pause''] Cuz-

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' No, he was talking about, um, mm. About Chris's... [[barb|mother's]] underwear. And Chris, you said bra and panties were considered underwear, and underwear is a type of clothing, and uh brief [sic] and boxer equals clothing as well.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean, [[lie|that was a pretty good comeback there]] I just wanna know what... motivated it.

'''Chris:''' I don't remember.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Uhh yes, Clyde can be... Clyde can be an arsehole.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, I-I used that once, someone was like- talking crap to me and I told him that and he like, backed away. So yeah, it was a good comeback.

'''Chris:''' [''quiet''] Uhg.

'''Troll:''' I see, um. [''pause'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I dunno, uh... I might. I might.

'''Troll:''' I'm a cat- I'm a cat person too.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I love cats!-

'''Julie:''' [''high pitched screeching''] MEOW!

'''Brit-Troll:''' -I have one.

'''Cameron:''' [''wistfully''] I'd love to have one some day.

'''Falsion:''' I wish I had one. My mother wouldn't let me.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. It's- [''inaudible'']-in my apartment to have one.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, she just- she's just allergic.

'''Troll:''' I had another question, uhh- I remember when like, Clyde was showing off that Rabbichoso thing... and you were like, it's a site for ventilation cracks- where do you come up with that? That's so good.

[''Presumably, this is from a Mumble chat that has not been transcribed yet. I could find no record of what the troll is blabbering about.'']

'''Chris:''' [''skeptical''] Ventilation cracks?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, you said his drawing-

'''Brit-Troll:''' -yeah, what does that mean?-

'''Troll:''' -was like a site for a ventilation cracks.

'''Chris:''' [''high pitched, defensive''] I never said that!

'''Falsion:''' That was an awesome comeback.

'''Troll:''' Yes you did.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] I don't remember saying ventilat- I said that- I said that... I said that was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oooooh.

'''Falsion:''' Ohh, even better diss.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I said it was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

[''pause'']

====Lightening the Mood====

'''Matthew Devoria:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Maybe we should lighten things up a bit. Uhh- Is there anything you [''sudden voice change, voice now quite high pitched''] want to talk about, Chris?

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Nothing... right at the moment, I mean, I'm... trying to get logged in so I can upload the uh... scanned... letter. [''pause''] So y'all can... read it for yourselves.

'''Matthew Devoria:''' [''faint''] Did you get- [''audio cut'']

'''Troll:''' Yeeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I'll do- I'll do that eventually. [''pause''] Y'know, soon enough.

[''The trolls all talk over each other, encouraging him to upload it.'']

'''Troll:''' Wait, Chris is trying to talk!

'''Chris:''' Uh, those uh, ju-for your information they are not lost episodes, they are just removable deleted scenes. You know, they can work one way with them or one way with- or another way without 'em. It's just the way I designed it. [pause] Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, Rosie has a question she typed, she's wondering if you were considering undergoing speech therapy because you seem to have pronouncin-, trouble pronouncing uh, 'th', and all that stuff.

'''Chris:''' I took speech therapy during my early childhood years.

'''Cameron:''' Hmm

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh me too! I had- I have- I still have troubles pronouncing 'r' words and then-then they just told me it was like a problem with my jaw.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, I had a younger brother, true story, that, he couldn't pronounce certain words when he was in kindergarten so yellow he couldn't do y sounds, he was like, 'lellow'. But, going through speech therapy, he's actually overcome it. He's actually a very impressive linguist now.

'''Chris:''' Oh, well that's good. You know I can imitate somebody who doesn't have their two front teeth even though I do have my two front teeth?

'''Troll:''' Oh. Could we hear?

'''Chris:''' [soul-crushing imitation] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! My two front teeth! All I want for Chwiss-mathh itth my two fwont teeth!

[trolls start out giggling, devolving into guffaws]

'''Troll:''' That was hilarious.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's Spike Jones' classic. That you hear every Christmas.

'''Troll:''' It is a classic.

'''Cameron:''' Okay but uh, there's two questions on the side, from Monsieur Parfait: Hey Chris! What are you feelings on the PS3 being the main pick for the gay community and gay online gaming community, using PSN as their main social network-

'''Chris:''' Ok, you can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me. You can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me.

'''Troll:''' We'll toss that question out. Let's move on.

===Communism===

'''Cameron:''' Hamsty wants to know what you think of China. I guess he means the country, so...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a good country.

'''Troll:''' You like Chinese food?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright.

'''Troll 2:''' So wait, you're saying that communism is good? That's not very American of you.

'''Troll:''' No, that's not-

'''Chris:''' Wait, wait what?

[Chris and Troll 2 talk over each other]

'''Troll 2:''' Communism-

'''Chris:''' Food.

'''Troll 2:''' No, you sai-no you were asked what you think of China. You said you thought it was good. So you're saying that communism is good?

'''Chris:''' What-no. I did not say that. I just said that the country was good.

'''Troll 2:''' Yeah- that-

'''Brit-Troll:''' The country isn't that same as its government, though.

'''Troll 2:''' No, yes it is, yes it is! They support the communist-

'''Troll:''' Oh you be quiet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you be quiet, he's had enough.

===Cwcville Work Force===

'''Troll:''' I was just wondering one thing about uh Cwcville, um, do the people in Cwcville have to work or do they get money from the government?

'''Chris:''' S- yes, it's pretty much like real life, some work, some don't some get eh- you know it's just like- basically real life. Matching there.

'''Troll:''' Oh, so like, everyone has to like, work and stuff?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' Dude I got the images up, I just uh, put up the link there.

[trolls respond approvingly]

'''Troll:''' Sonichu and Rosechu, do they have a job? Do they have a job or what, because I never like see 'em working in the comic, I'm kinda confused.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh] Well, it's just like a whole- hmm, there's too many details to figure out there so just- you could just assume that you know there are so many tall buildings, so many office buildings, so many stores and all that, you could assume that a lot- that most everybody is working.

'''Troll:''' So what like, what's Sonichu's job?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Troll:''' What's uh, Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well shoot he's uh...[pause] Well, he protects Cwcville, for one thing.

'''Troll:''' Does he get paid for it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much give him- give him his own privileges.

'''Troll:''' Oh so like everything is free for him?

'''Troll:''' Isn't that an abuse of power? You were democratically elected weren't you?

'''Troll:''' Ok, you need to shut up, really.

'''Troll:''' Someone kick out Crass.

'''Troll:''' Crass, you're acting like an asshole.

'''Troll:''' Chris, I kicked him.

'''Chris:''' Good. Yeah,he was be- he was being very annoying.

'''Troll:''' He has an annoying voice, too.

'''Troll:''' He's also gay.

'''Troll:''' Yeah he's a homo.

[huffing into mic]

'''Troll:''' Yeah anyway.

'''Troll:''' So what about Rosechu, does she work?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I haven't really thought about- uh, nah- nah- I'd say- nah- she's got same-no. She's got privileges too.

'''Troll:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' But you know its like I couldn't- it's not like I couldn't offer her like a, job or something, I just never really thought about giving the hedgehogs anything-a job- giving the hedgehogs jobs.[troll talks over Chris] Just never came up.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I'm just saying, they always seem to be like, you know, on their like, time off, or like having- on spring breaks and stuff, I just wondered if any of the characters like worked, or what.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I never really thought about them having jobs. I just-

'''Brit-Troll:''' Well, in a way, their job is to protect Cwcville and, and when they do i bet its really hard and they need all they can-

'''Troll:''' Oh, they all protect Cwcville?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I thought it was just Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[pause]

===More Anime Suggestions===

'''Troll:''' Alright, uh, anyone else have any questions?

'''Logan:''' Uh, yes, uh did you happen to get my uh, pm, Chris? On Skype?

'''Chris:''' Um, uh, are you Logan?

'''Logan:''' Yes, that's me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I got them.

'''Logan:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' Uh, just download that later of your own free leisure.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' It's a highly recommended one. It's what...Julie got me into a little while back.

'''Chris:''' [annoyed] Oh. I see.

'''Logan:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah it's, it's made by sonic game, actually.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should really play with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh, what on your uh, your PS online thing?

'''Julie:''' No um, Phantasy Star Online, yeah, you should play with us.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Ph- oh- yeah I'll think about that. Oh yeah I just- yeah I was just- yeah I was just uh...uh yeah, uh Logan you were talking about the one your anime was uh, it's out- dynas-destiny?

'''Logan:''' Uh no it's uh, there's two I was trying to make you watch, uh, one is called [[wikipedia:Higurashi When They Cry|When They Cry]] and the other is-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah I see that. Alright well yeah I'll just- yeah well I'll just download the torrents and all. Download them- from the torrents. Later on. I have uh- I have- I have the uh, I have a- Limewire.

'''Troll:''' Oh I- yeah, I use that too, every now and then.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===Spice Girls===

'''Troll:''' Also um, Monsieur Parfait also asked you um, uh who was your favorite Spice Girl, Christian, and why?

'''Chris:''' Spice Girl. Uh, I'm not really sure. But I do- But I do- But I ''did'' like Spice Girls. I just never really thought of which one was my favorite.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I liked Emma, Baby Spice.

'''Troll:''' I liked Scary Spice 'cause she's scary.

'''Troll:''' I liked Sporty, she seemed pretty nice.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

[pause]

'''Chris:''' [uninterested] Yeah.

[pause]

===The History of Cwcville===

'''Troll:''' So Chris, when was Cwcville founded?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...I've gi- I gave that some thought, I just uh, haven't uh, made it official yet. But mmm...yeah I- yeah I figure that uh, for the origin story of Cwcville, basically it was founded by my father. And he named it- and he named it after- me, cause I was just born. Cause I woulda just been born.

'''Troll:''' And it would be like, your legacy and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' So it would be born in- so it would have been founded in...1982?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===On Copyrights===

'''Troll:''' Oh that's pretty neat. Um, Chris, I was wondering, um, do you remember um, people were talking about like, you- you say you copyrighted Sonichu around the year 2000, and um people were um say-, people were otherwise claiming that um, maybe you didn't have it copyrighted, maybe that it's not in the database but, I was wondering, to prove them wrong, can you show us the copyright? [wheedling] Can you show us your copyright for Sonichu?

'''Chris:''' Oh...what are you talking about, like uh, papers and such?

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Mostly- yeah well mostly I just did like uh, what my father told me-what my father told me was viable, little c-in-a circle.

'''Troll:''' Uh, the, instant one. Well, there's also um, registered copyrights or um-[Chris interrupts]

'''Chris:''' Yeah well- yeah well actually I did pay 35 bucks to uh...[talking to himself] hang on I got you on book mark...uh, shoot- Oh yeah, to the Library of Congress, I paid them 35 bucks for- for a copyright on that but I haven't heard any- I haven't heard anything back from them.

'''Troll:''' Oh, w-when did that happen?

'''Chris:''' Years ago.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I see.

'''Troll:''' You know, you should try to get a new copyright, maybe they'll listen this time.

'''Troll:''' Or, what you can do is um, go to um, copyrights.gov, that's actually where I had them copyright a patent one time.

'''Chris:''' I see, hmm.

'''Troll:''' The rate's like 45 dollars now, but I mean, an extra ten bucks, I don't think it would hurt.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I'll consider that.

'''Troll:''' I mean there's rumors that Clyde might be able to forge uh, forge documents to get it copyrighted before you, maybe you should get on that. I mean I-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh, pause] Well anyway uh, importantly did uh, y'all see the letter I've uploaded.

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's right.

[audio skipping, windows beeping, long pause]

'''Troll:''' I've been wondering, what does Cwc cola taste like?

'''Troll:''' Actually, this doesn't look real at all. I mean uh, Nintendo Of America, Incorporated, aren't they called uh- wait, wait a second hold on-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah it's Nintendo of America, ''Inc''

'''Troll:''' Hmm

'''Troll:''' I don't know, this doesn't look- legit for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I mean look at the letterhead!

'''Troll:''' It's easy to fake a letterhead though, you know.

'''Troll:''' Yeah you can even buy one of those.

'''Troll:''' I mean I could copy and paste and put that into, you know, a word template or something like that.

'''Chris:''' No, that's a real signature.

'''Troll:''' What people can do is like, sometimes they just plain take the signature from another paper and they can put it on anything else and s-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean like, ok it's been like, it's actually serious offenses as well, it's like, people are copyrighting um, signatures, it's like identity theft.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I'll tell you what I'll do, Chris. One of my other cousins is a uh, he's a forensics analysis...guy. He uh, he reads like, notes people leave at the scene of a crime or letters from criminal cases and he can tell when something's fake or, someone like, you know, there was a case one time when someone murdered someone, and they forged a suicide note but they took [it to] him and he read it and looked to make sure that it was actually, you know, they wanted to see whether or not it was real, and he can spot a fake like, you know, like nothing.

'''Chris:''' All right well you do what you want.

'''Troll:''' Ok.

===A Wild Clyde Appears!===

'''Chris:''' All right well- all right well it's been fun but uh, I'm gonna head home now, I should get something to eat and uh-

'''Julie:''' Uh oh, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie?

'''Julie:''' He's here...

[trolls groan]

'''Chris:''' Well then it's a good time to...

'''Clyde''' Well, wait! What do you say to one last showdown?

'''Troll:''' We don't even want you in here Clyde, what are you doing here?

'''Clyde''' [says something about Julie] She might not admit, but she's worried for the future with you.

'''Troll:''' [super dramatic voice] Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

'''Troll:''' Wow, that's gonna threaten him.

'''Clyde''' C'mon Julie, admit it.

'''Chris:''' Hey Clyde, you can lay off-

'''Julie:''' I talked to him, but that's it.

'''Troll:''' Clyde, you're worthless [unintelligible]

'''Troll:''' Clyde you are an asshole.

'''Chris:''' Everybody pipe down. Everybody pipe down.

'''Troll:''' Fuck you Clyde.

'''Chris:''' Clyde, I talked to Vivian. And everything's o- and everything's okay. You can lay off.

'''Clyde''' No, I refuse to lay off. '''Forget''' whatever the '''bitch''' says! Alright? 'Cause '''I've''' been talking with Julie, and '''she's''' gonna have a miserable life if she '''goes''' with you. '''I've''' been talking to her '''goddamn''' parents, and they're gonna fucking take her away. [pause] Tell me Chris...

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you can, Clyde, just lay off- we- I know that Vivian-

'''Clyde''' Julie I- Julie- come on-

'''Chris:''' -I know that Vivian has asked you to uh, just to try to pick on- to pick on me to get me to clean up my room and I did clean up my room. I got- I held up my end of the bargain so why don't you just leave us alone?

'''Clyde''' Look, it's not enough, it's by '''Julie's''' request. Not Vivian's, not mine, but '''Julie's''' request. She just couldn't have the balls to tell you.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Clyde''' Right Julie?

'''Julie:''' Ummm...yes.

'''Clyde''' She's '''worried''' and '''I'm''' trying to get it '''to''' you, through your little head, that's '''she''' is just gonna break it off if '''you''' don't clean up your god-damned act.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you se- I did clean up my room.

'''Clyde''' That's not all. Tell me Chris, do you pay your taxes?

'''Chris:''' Mmm...I don't have to pay my taxes.

'''Clyde:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' My family - my family helps me manage my taxes, and I don't have that much uh, income to tax.

'''Clyde:''' But either way- but when your parents are gone who's gonna help you do the taxes?

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh] I'll worry about that when that- when I cross that bridge.

'''Clyde''' God- oh come- you have to know now, you're 26 years old, you musta paid taxes a couple times. You gotta figure that out, man.

'''Chris:''' I paid sales tax.

'''Clyde''' [sigh] Chris, you have a credit card right. So how- how- how much debt do you have on that card?

'''Chris:''' I take- I plead the fifth.

'''Clyde''' You plead the fifth? Ohhh, come on, Julie '''has''' to know about your financial situation.

'''Chris:''' If Julie wants to know she and I can dis- discuss it in private. We don't need you to uh-

'''Julie:''' Chris...Clyde does have somewhat of a point. I '''am''' kind of worried about... the future.

'''Clyde:''' I'm just trying to help here. If you two went on your crazy ass marriage you two would have been divorced in a month. I'm trying to goddamn help. You better answer me.

'''Chris:''' Fine, I have a huge credit card debt.

'''Clyde:''' Well how much? I would like to quantify this so I can do some calculations.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...nearly 2K.

'''Clyde:''' Ugh, man. And you said you had a savings of one hundred? That leaves you with one thousand, nine hundred. To start a marriage with. You are screwed!

'''Chris:''' No, I pay it off in monthly payments.

'''Clyde:''' And how long, do you think it will take you to pay it off?

'''Chris:''' Due time.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''years'' to pay that off. Tell me, how much do you pay off each month?

'''Chris:''' I pay off about a hundred each month.

'''Clyde:''' You do know that's compound with interest, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''ten'' years to pay that off if you keep doing minimum payments.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Clyde:''' What-what is your credit score?

'''Chris:''' I don't know my credit score.

'''Clyde:''' You should look that up. You get for free, once a year, from three different companies. You should get it and report back to me, okay? Because Julie doesn't understand this, but I do, and I can help you with this. I'm just trying to goddamn help you. Don't take this as an insult, but if you want your marriage ruined, fine.

'''Chris:''' Well Clyde, I'll tell you what. If you wanna help me, you can come see me in person and we can talk about this.

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yes Julie?

'''Julie:''' You could try getting a job. That could also help, when we do get married.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, when the time comes and I decide-and uh, and ah-when the decision comes that I'll have to get a job then I will.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Clyde:''' But you don't have any capital now! You don't have any money now!

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you've done enough.

'''Clyde:''' Really? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what-what's the-can you even cook?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.

'''Clyde:''' What can you cook?

'''Chris:''' I can cook anything that's within my cookbook.

'''Clyde:''' What is your favorite thing to cook for Julie. I'm sure she'd love to know.

'''Chris:''' A good chicken noodle soup.

'''Clyde:''' Fantastic. Doesn't that sound delicious, Julie?

'''Julie:''' [''on the brink of tears''] It could be...I don't know!

'''Chris:''' Julie don't listen to-Julie don't listen to Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' She's not worried about me, she's worried about your future.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you don't have to worry, we'll work it out!

'''Julie:''' But Chris, I am worried!

'''Clyde:''' And another thing, Chris. How much fast food do you eat goddamn!

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I suggest something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' You could better yourself, you could take...lessons and you could get a really high paying job. I just wanna suggest that cause I'm really...I will admit, I am worried about the future, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I understand your concern. And you don't have to worry, I'll get myself a jo-I'll get a-I'll get myself a job soon enough, I'll would like it-I would appreciate it if you would still have faith in me and have faith in the future.

'''Julie:''' Alright, I'm still somewhat unsure...

'''Clyde:''' [talking over Julie] You're going to have faith when you don't see any action?

'''Julie:''' ...but, I can. But Chris, what job will you get?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I tried to, uh, get best job there is available around here, that I could get from, umm, from my previous experiences at least and my CADD degrees and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Clyde:''' You haven't looked, have you? You're lying, aren't you?

'''Chris:''' You're right, I haven't looked, but that doesn't mean I can't ''start'' looking so I can start looking!

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've-I've been thinking, and I think Clyde really is trying to help us. You need to help Clyde help us, do you know what I mean?

'''Clyde:''' You have been lying to Julie about looking for a job? Christ Almighty, how much have you lied to her?

'''Chris:''' But, Clyde, I'm willing to accept your help, but you do not need to be having such an insultive tone that you're giving off.

'''Clyde:''' Chris, there's a reason why I do this. I am the last resort, okay? I am the last chance for you to salvage any type of relationship with ''any'' woman. Y'know, you can sweet talk a woman, you can sweet talk any of your Sonichu Girls, but you know what? Within a month, you'll be divorced by Every. Single. One.

'''Chris:''' I did-that doesn't mean-I mean I never said that we'd have to get married right away, I never said that.

'''Clyde:''' Even then when you two are living together-it's not about marriage, it's about ''being together'', even.

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Well like I said when the time comes I'll deal with it at my own pace, but, y'know right now I can and I promised Julie that I will-

'''Clyde:''' Don't deal it at your pace, deal it at your relationship's pace. AKA, you and Julie. Don't be selfish.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've been doing some research in Christianity. Isn't that what you said you had-what you followed?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' And I read it, and apparently there's no sex before marriage, it's God's way.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh, actually, under the Methodist faith, it's-uh, it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Alright, but I'm still wondering. It is God's way, maybe, wait who is it?

'''Chris:''' It's-uh it's okay Julie. Julie, I tried-

'''Julie:''' No! How is it alright, though?

'''Chris:''' As long as you and I and we love each other truly.

'''Julie:''' Hnm.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. Okay, okay, I got another question. What- How much- What kind of, I mean, do you cook for yourself? Every week? Or you do go out for fast-food or something.

'''Chris:''' I cook myself- for myself the majority of the week.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hnmm. Chris, what do you make?

'''Clyde:''' Or do you just go out to eat?

'''Chris:''' I did not go out to eat every day of the week, Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' But how often?

'''Chris:''' I'd say probably 2 or 3- 2 or 3 meals out of the week.

'''Clyde:''' So the rest of the time, you cook. Right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Wha- what, so? What do you cook? For yourself, that is.

'''Chris:''' I cook for myself a lot of things.

'''Clyde:''' Like what? I mean, Julie would love to know what you can cook, so she have uh, you know, feeling what her diet might be.

'''Julie:''' Yes, what do you make for yourself? I don't mean to side with Clyde, but, what do you make for yourself?

'''Chris:''' I make uh, I make myself some veget- some vegetables and uh, meat, some soups... depends on what I have with me after shopping has happened.

'''Clyde:''' You cook for your parents, then, right?

'''Chris:''' No, my parents, they pretty much take care of themselves.

'''Clyde:''' That's...kinda selfish that you don't cook for them. I mean, your living with them.

'''Chris:''' Well, they have their- they live on two separated- their downstairs and I'm upstairs.

'''Clyde:''' Goddamn, I mean, you just, move out! I mean, Christ. Julie would- Julie, do you feel confortable with Chris's parents-

'''Chris:''' I'd like to move out but it's kinda hard for me to know my destination, and I'm not sure what my destination would be when I move out. At this time. But uh, after Julie, after Julie moves here and finds her apartment, I'm willing to move out of my house and move in with her.

'''Clyde:''' And how much do you think you gonna support Julie? I mean, you said you gonna be the house husband, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' So why isn't YOU looking for the house and not her?

'''Chris:''' I'll wait- I'll wait for Julie to come here and she and I can go looking together.

'''Julie:''' ...Chris? Can I tell you something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I did some math, and 800 dollars a month is not only—interrupted by Windows bleeps—part-time and the family is more than that.

'''Chris:''' Uh...by the family, you mean, you and me?

'''Julie:''' I believe so, yes.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. *sigh* Alright, well, yeah, well, I will definitely work into finding a job. I promise you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' I am not sure if I can get many jobs, you know, as I am considered immigrant.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I understand. I'll look for it. I'll look for work.

'''Julie:''' Thank you, Chris.

'''Clyde:''' And what you gonna look for?

'''Chris:''' *big sigh* Depends on uh, who's hiring around here and what I can find avaliable to me that's, uh works with my abilities.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should try and get one now, so you could help saving money for renting day.

'''Chris:''' I will think about that.

'''Clyde:''' I mean what kind of position are you looking for?

'''Chris:''' Can't say right now, because... just came- this whole- this just came with the spur of the moment.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you gotta look for a dream job or something, right?

'''Chris:''' *sigh* I never had a dream job.

'''Clyde:''' He's never had... you've never even thought about getting that perfect job- ever?

'''Chris:''' I just never had, just never had a job occurred in a dream.

'''Clyde:''' I don't mean literally! It just means something that you would like to do for the rest of your life.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to work, I'm just not short- I'm just not sure.

'''Julie:''' -worried.

'''Chris:''' Aww. But Julie, Julie, for the best of abilities I'm willing to uh, go out and work and find something that I can do. I mean, even- even if it's an office job.

'''Julie:''' Uh...

'''Clyde:''' What do you do everyday, Chris? What you do? I mean, you don't have a job, you play videogames, what else do you do?

'''Chris:''' *SIGH* I do a lot, I dot a lot of things everyday.

'''Clyde:''' That was not specific enough. I want to know how you do your time management--

[''weird noises'']

'''Chris:''' Well because currently I am without a job- because currently, without a job, it's kind of- it's kinda varies from day to day. But I am willing to get a job and make it more solid for the day-to-day of my future.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you- what do you do at home, do you just sit there? Hoping money is going to fly to you or something?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Clyde:''' Then, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' I do a lot of creative things, like- yeah, yesterday I cleaned up my room.

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris, what do you do everyday? I'm wondering.

[''awkward silence'']

'''Julie:''' ...Chris?

'''Chris:''' I am, yeah, I'm just thinking.

[''more silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mostly I'm creative. But I have things to do everyday.

'''Clyde:''' You're not being specific enough, you're just saying ''I have things''. What? Do you just jack-off all day?

'''Chris:''' NO!

'''Clyde:''' Well, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' Right now I don't have a very solid schedule, like you know, what I do on a day-to-day basis.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you could at least gone to school and, you know, get something.

'''Chris:''' I did go to school and I did get something...

'''Clyde:''' Go to school again.

'''Chris:''' ...and I'm willing to get a job and—I'm willing to get a job based on what I have learned from my school days.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? Chris? Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' As long you're on your free time, you should really try to work more on you comic and make as much money as you can, because that's kinda is your job, at least right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Julie:''' So can you work harder on the comic?

'''Clyde:''' *laugh* You fail at that, the only thing with your time it's make those Sonichu comics and you can only pop one out every four months, having my brother- GODDAMN YOU CHRIS.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I promise to work harder and more swifting on my comics.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Chris:''' I will- I'm gonna- I gonna heel now I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Clyde:''' Just another of my goddamn words, Chris.

'''Julie:''' Chris, one last thing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' About the comics, you should try and get one of these monthly or at least bi-monthly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' And how you're gonna make money with that? You're just wasting your time.

'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris

'''Chris:''' Uh?

'''Julie:''' Are you still gonna play burnout?

'''Chris:''' Tonight, yeah.

'''Julie:''' We are-

'''Clyde:''' And that's what you do with your spare time, play Burnout. Ha ha ha.

'''Chris:''' CLYDE, SHUT UP. I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay, I'll turn on my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Ich baan schwill, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay. Ich bin schwul.

[''Chris disconnects'']

'''Clyde:''' SKAJSHRLA oh-

'''Bluespike:''' Haha! Oh! He said ''I'm gay'' What a faggot! Did y'all hear that? Chris is gay! He says so himself!

[''Trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' You actually got him to say it!

'''Troll:''' But you said it as well, so I don't know, man...

'''Bluespike:''' Oh oh. You're right. STAY ST-RAIGHT.

'''Troll:''' Goddamnit Bluespike, you wanna play videogame-

[''random shit'']

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 7|Mumble Chat 7]]|}}

== Links ==

* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBXzRCRFozUUZvODg Download]

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2012-08-13T12:53:17Z

Mage:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan [[Tomgirl Pictures|Chris Tran]] [[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]] CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] [[Jackie Chat 6|Chunky Monkey Man]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]] (age 30)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982–2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011–present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] (deceased) [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid) [[Virgin]] ([[1982]]-[[2012]])
|-
|}
{{quote|I am the high-functioning [[autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Art|artistic]] [[plagiarism|inspiration]] lost with [[Health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[copyrights|creator]] of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=490#p490 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself</ref>}}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|Adult Autistic Child]] 30 year old former [[virgin with rage|virgin]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, [[Chris and...|revealing still more disturbing facts about him.]]

Yes, friends, it gets far, ''far'' worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]

Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].
{{clear}}

==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now thirty years old, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathe]] regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day [[Attraction Sign|waiting]] for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter) who wasn't a [[troll]].

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and [[Tomgirl Pictures|proudly cross-dresses]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref>
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to [[Robert]] and [[Barbara Chandler]]. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Aspergers_(CWCipedia_article)</ref>

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]]]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]]]]

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube Chris and he later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].

[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]]]]

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[Tomgirl Saga|tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris does not see his new-found femininity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality.

In [[September 2011]], Chris's [[Bob Chandler|father]] died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his [[mother]] Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her [[obesity]] is taken into account.
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]]]]

In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.

In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity.
{{clear}}

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

Hexbox

2012-08-07T16:03:56Z

Mage: Double redirect.

#REDIRECT [[HEXBox]]

User:Mage

2012-07-26T10:53:29Z

Mage: Just to get rid of the red links.

User talk:Brendsmalls/Drinking Game

2012-07-26T10:50:24Z

Mage:

Alright, I'll bite, wtf is this? --[[User:IwegalBadnik|IwegalBadnik]] 00:02, 26 July 2012 (PDT)
:A drinking game to bring the whole family closer together from domestic alcoholism, thanks to Chris-chan! - [[User:Mage|Mage]] 03:50, 26 July 2012 (PDT)

Mailbag 17

2012-07-26T10:47:48Z

Mage:

'''Mailbag 17''' was uploaded on 10 [[December 2009]]. On 13 December, [[Chris]] answered some of these questions, rejected some others, and filed the others in his various not-quite-rejected-but-fuck-you-anyways folders, including a brand new rejected mailbag for letters about [[Sonichu]] parodies. Despite all the stress this would doubtlessly cause Chris, he somehow still found the strength to spend an hour and a half writing the first bit of [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]].

==Answered==
===Fun with editing===
{{Email|From: Jorge Rodriguez <r.jorge72@yahoo.com>
Chris,

Much like you, I am a straight male, but everybody thinks I am a [[homos]]exual. They told me the only way to prove I am straight is to make a video of myself making out with a ''Woman'' <s>man</s>, then say it was ''AWESOME'' <s>disgusting</s>. Should I make the video to prove I'm straight? What's the best way to prove I AM STRAIGHT?

Yours in the bear,

Jorge Rodriguez

P.S. You mentioned that when you see a [[dick]], you get disgusted and look away, but what will you do if you're changing [[Reginald Chandler|your son]]'s diaper? How can you change his diaper while not looking at him? <s>Will you cover his dick with your [[Sonichu medallion]] so you can't see it?</s>}}
''Chris added the italicized words and strikethroughs. Then, on the on the early morning of the 15th of December, he removed his alterations and displayed the email as it was originally written. We have retained his changes for the sake of completeness.''
{{EmailReply|There are other ways; ''but like I have just corrected your letter,'' you should Make Out With A Woman and say it was Awesome, not how it was originally written, and make the video on that.

I'll deal with changing my children's diapers when I cross that bridge.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}
''After deleting his alterations to the letter, Chris edited his own reply to match. The italicized words were deleted in the early hours of 15 December 2009.''

===Chris's receding hairline disagrees===
{{Email|From: jromans73@aol.com

What kind of [[hair]] products have you tried? I noticed in some of your newer videos that your hair is thinning and you are going bald so I was wondering what products you tried so far. Have you tried Rogaine?
- Joe Romans}}
{{EmailReply|Firstly, I am NOT going bald, and second, I use [[AXE]] brand Freeze Anti-Dandruff Shampoo & Conditioner. As portrayed in ALL their comercials, AXE is for the Straight Man to help them Get and Keep Their Woman. Now on the [[Playstation Network]] for Free, Download the NEW Smooth Jarvis Theme where it further proves that AXE is for the everyday Straight Man. And go Pits-To-Chest with the AXE brand Deoderants as well, availble in most retail stores. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Too bad it will never happen===
{{Email|From: Bret Kinney <bretkinney@gmail.com>

What would you do if you DID get married?}}
{{EmailReply|Live the everday American life as a Happily Married man and Father.}}

===Hamsty tackles the hard issues===
{{Email|From: [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty the Hamster]] <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

How do you feel about [[Barack Obama]]'s stance on health care?

Do you feel the stimulus has done its part to strengthen America or has it worsened the economy? Why or why not?

Do you believe Joe Biden is doing a good enough job? Why?
Do you believe in global warming? Why?}}
{{EmailReply|It is fair, but America is NOT ready for Obama's plan yet, because we can not afford it yet. The yearly stimulus helps well; it's more money in our pockets [[Monthly tugboat|to spend as we wish.]] Joe is doing what he can. I am against global warming, because it would be terrible for the Earth.}}

===Chris has thought about this way too much===
{{Email|From: jpopstar666@aol.com

If you woke up one morning to find you were a female, what would you do?}}
{{EmailReply|Actually, I had imagined that situation before and thought about it, in the scenario where I had a mind/body-swap with a woman. Firstly, I would be surprised, but I would maintain my cool. I would contact my cell or home number, talk to the other person in my body, and get the news of her daily routine, and I would tell her mine, and we'd go along as such until we switched back. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 04:56, 14 December 2009 (CET)}}

===Having sex with someone under false pretenses is not cool===
{{Email|From: Chris Hutchinson <menchib@gmail.com>

Hello again Chris!

You just proclaimed in your latest comic that you went to the future and had awesome sex with your future wife! Congratulations! Now my question is, do we get to find out who your future wife is soon? We're all dying to find out! And secondly will your future wife ever find out that a past version of her husband came to the future to [[rape]] her?
Thanks again Chris, keeps those awesome comics coming!}}
{{EmailReply|I made that Clear, her Name is '''[[Lovely Weather]]''', and she is a hot woman who is smart, sweet and all that goodness. AGAIN, IT WAS NOT RAPE; '''she mistook me for my future self, and INVITED ME to have sex with her'''.}}

===In which Chris assumes he is like Jerry Seinfeld and then misses the point entirely===
{{Email|From: Sacha <lordbeluga@gmail.com>

Salutations Christian,

Consider this hypothetical scenario; say that your [[Adult Chronicles]] game idea were to be instead adapted into a Live-Action movie (like [[Dragon Ball Z]]s recent Transition to the Big Screen) and by some strange, Twist of Fate, you weren't able to star in the movie as yourself, who would you choose to Fill Your Role?

Which actor do you think possesses your Likeness the most?

Who would play [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]?

Who would you get to direct?

Much Regards,
Sacha}}
{{EmailReply|Off the top of my head, I'd want [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]] to play me in the movie. I'd want to direct it myself, if not, then someone else, I don't know that many directors. Sonichu and Rosechu - Me and my gal-pal would Voice them.}}

===Wet dreams===
{{Email|Dear Chris,

I, much like you, received a vision of [[God and Jesus|God, Jesus]] in my dreams telling me that I will have a son named Copper -- like the useful conductive metal. I have been [[recycling]] my son for many years now but I have had several [[stress|STRESSFUL]] and FRANTIC situations with regards to my [[comeuppance]]. Sometimes I dream of me and my one [[true and honest]] love engaging in the acts of sex. When I awaken from these acts of sex I find that my briefs or sheets have been filled with my future to be son. The first time this happened I screamed and frantically sucked up my son so he would be safe within me once more.

This problem in the past had only occurred every once in a great while. I find it happening more frequently and find myself waking up and frantically sucking my son out of my sheets or briefs as I continue to dream more and more of my elusive, one true love. I was wondering if you, being a prominent figure that I look up have had problems like this yourself. Do you have any advice for me on how I can be more prepared for this situation? I really could use some pointers here because I am very afraid that I may lose my son if I am not ever vigilant in [[recycling]] myself, even when I sleep.

Your true and honest loyal fan,

-Stu Pidass (P.S. I apologise if you find my name offensive, it was legally changed years ago during a blackmail incident and I cannot change it back yet. Damn those trolls.)}}
{{EmailReply|Try thinking of OTHER things that are NOT romantic or sexual, like sports or whatever; the different topics would change your dreams.}}

==Gone Forever==
''This letter marks the first time since [[Mailbag 2]] that Chris has failed to save a rejected email.''
===It will probably be several weeks before Chris figures out how to unsubscribe from this===
{{Email|From: Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief <lgbt@smartbrief.com>

As lead editor, I'd like to thank you for subscribing to Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief, a summary of the most important industry news delivered to your inbox 2x/week. You'll receive your first newsletter shortly.

In the meantime, please visit (and bookmark!) our Web site for breaking industry news and an archive of past issues: http://www.smartbrief.com/news/lgbt

To ensure smooth delivery of Gay & Lesbian Leadership SmartBrief, be sure to add lgbt@smartbrief.com to your address book. If needed, please whitelist the following domains: smartbrief.com and dailylead.com

Also, be sure to share the newsletter with your colleagues via our Tell-a-Friend system: http://www.smartbrief.com/news/lgbt/passiton.jsp

I am so pleased to welcome you to our community and look forward to having you as a subscriber. If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to contact me at lgbt@smartbrief.com.

Best, Robert DiGiacomo
Lead Editor}}

==Rejected Mailbag==

===The cure for morons===
{{Email|From: [[Wikipedia:Johnny Winter|Johnny Winter]] <winterjohnny@ymail.com>
Hi Chris!

I recently read your spoilers regarding your return from the time void and it left me with one question:

1) When you briefly visited the future and recieved the shot of the straight gene to cure you, why didn't you think to ask them for the cure for being slow in the mind as well?

Thanks and I can't wait for issue number 10!}}

===Strike City===
{{Email|From: gay_luvr_1979@homosexual.net
<s>Hey Chris, sweety, it's me!

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed our sex-time together in the toilet of that Gay Club we went to. You're so sexy! I can't wait to see you again next week ;-)

So I'll pick you up at the airport at 5:30pm, okay? See you then, sweety!

Love and kisses,
Tom

P.S. Wear [[Liquid Chris|that cute brown stripey shirt]] again, okay?

P.P.S. Have you told that told [[Kacey|that prissy little girlfriend]] of yours that it's over yet? It gives me so much [[stress]] thinking of all the time you spend making sex-time with her when you should be with me! *sigh*</s>}}
''Once again, the strikethroughs were added by Chris for some unknowable reason. This was obviously an attempt to get Chris to blackmail Liquid over his alleged homo affair, but Chris seems to have been too dim to pick up on this.''

===Imitable acts===
{{Email|From: jdavs5000@aol.com

My son was recently suspended from his school for a day for "kicking [another student] in the genitalia." When I asked him where he learned that shit, he told me "from [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]." Having no clue about this [[Pokémon|Pokeman]] shit (I'm not a ten year old kid), I looked it up as well as your Sonichu drawings.

While I support people standing up for themselves, what kind of pussy resorts to dirty fighting and hitting a man in the balls? Not a real man, I'll tell you that. What are you, Chris? 12 years old? I'd think so, judging by how you "[[CWC Fighter|fight]]" and all those fucking [[toys]] and [[Chris and art|your baby ass drawings]].
Take my advice: grow up, grow a pair, get a fucking job, and move out of your mom's house. You're a burden on your goddamn parents, and not because you're handicap, but just because you're a fucking lazy slob who never grew up.}}

==Autism Mailbag==
===In which Chris fails to man up to what he said about autism shots===
{{Email|From: John <jpala821@mail.com>
"Autism is Not Genetic; it comes from a shot the doctor's optionally give to the child after birth. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:48, 10 December 2009 (CET)" - You said you got your "Autism" from your [[babysitter]], and now you're saying doctors give Autism shots!? Are you lying to your true and honest fans like you have lied to [[Megan]], [[Kacey]], and a whole bunch of other people in your life let alone serious about this statement!? I am insulted by this, as it made my decision to not only abandon supporting your comic, but also give you the cash you need to get rid of those ads, Mr. Chandler. Congratulations on isolating another Sonichu fan.}}

==Let me get back to you on that==
===In which Chris ignores a bunch of perfectly reasonable questions===
{{Email|From: Super Woyzeck <superwoyzeck@hotmail.co.uk>

Dear Christain

I have some issues I would like clarification upon:

1. This may seem like an odd question, but how in Sonichu canon do you expect [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] to die? Feel free to not answer the question if it is relevent to a future plot point, but if not, it would be interesting to know what the life expectancy of the Sonichus is.

2. Do [[Rosechus]] go through the [[Barbara|menopause]]?

3. Are [[Sonichus]] and Rosechus different species? If not, what is the collective term for the species?

4. Do Sonichus and Rosechus base physical attraction on colour? There appears to be little or no physical difference between Sonichus other than their colour which is confusing enough, but they all have identical beliefs and similar personalities. Are all Sonichus and Rosechus sexually attracted to one another? If not, how do they pair up?

5. What do Sonichus eat? Do they hunt animals or do they eat grass?

6. Do all Sonichus have the same "job" - protecting [[CWCville]] - or are some of them in other industries? I imagine one Sonichu could probably power the whole of CWCville constantly. Is it possible for Sonichus to "tap into" their powers to use their natural electicity as a source of cheap power?

7. If Sonichus create electricity, does that mean that they have to [[Obesity|eat more frequently]] than [[Sonic]]? Do they give off heat or any other natural by-product of power production? How eco-friendly is a Sonichu?

8. When a Sonichu's penis is flaccid and retracted into their abdomen, are they identical to Rosechus? Surely all they must have visible on the outside is a little slit. [[Homos|Do Sonichus ever mistake each other for Rosechus]]?

By the way, I liked the ending of [[Sonichu 9]]. It was very moving. From
Woyzeck (a big f***ing fan).}}
''Chris censored the word "fucking" to "f***ing".''

===Seriously your house is a giant fucking mess===
{{Email|From: rschneider@socialworker.net

Hello Chris

My name is [[Wikipedia:Rob Schneider|Robert Schneider]] and I'm a social worker.

I am writing to you to express my deep concern as regards to your family's well-being and more importantly the living conditions you live in. Having seen the tour of your [[house]] on [[youtube]] and knowing of your parents age I have to ask why have you not cleaned the property?

As a 28 year old seemingly healthy individual, the responsibility to clean up that household really does rest on your shoulders as most social care professionals would deem your mother and father incapable of doing it themselves due to their age and health.

As a friendly piece of advice Christian, I would clean that place out quickly or your parents could well face being put in a care home for the sake of their own good health. Not only this but given your [[Autism]] you could well be force to live in an environment more suited to your needs, depending on reassessment.

Please get back to me as this is a serious matter.
Rob.}}

==Parodies==
===Sonichu loves Asperchu no homo===
[[Image:Aspergchulove.jpg|thumb|Good, godly, STRAIGHT fun!]]
{{Email|From: [[Alec Benson Leary]]

Christian,

First of all, I wish to say how sorry I am. I have nothing but the greatist respect for you and your artistic talent, I only meant to show you how awesome I think Sonichu is. I NEVER meant to suggest that Sonichu was a despicable HOMOGAY.

I only wanted to show [[Asperchu|ASPERCHU]] and his brother Sonichu having good, godly, STRAIGHT fun together as friends and brothers. So to make up for my previous error, I have created a completely NEW image to show how they are both manly men enjoying the joys of brotherhood.

Your friend and protege,

Alec Benson Leary}}
{{EmailReply|YOU HAVE DONE WRONG with this drawing; it only depicts the OPPOSITE OF STRAIGHT, you D.A. There may be a HUMAN character coming into the books with aspergers, but there will certainly NEVER BE A SONICHU or ROSECHU WITH THAT AILMENT.}}
''Chris later went back on this when he brought the [[Asperchu parodies|"Asperchu" versions]] of his characters into "Sonichu": they had been "cursed" with Aspergers by Alec, and were healed by [[Ultra Sonichu]].''
===Sonichu loves everyone long time===
{{Email|From: Sean Watley <seanawatley@gmail.com>

Chris,

http://sonichuisgay.thecomicseries.com

I absolutely will not [[Mailbag_10#In which Chris is introduced to the definitive Sonichu experience|"stop the presses."]] This isn't CWCville where you can tell everyone what to do. Furthermore, you gave the go-ahead to this in your November 25th blog. Part of obtaining a copyright for a product or idea is that you retain creative control over what merchandise gets produced. Now you've relinquished that control to anyone who wants to create their own Sonichu merchandise or comics.

Since Sonichu is a comic with a large homosexual following, I'm simply catering to consumer demand by having your male characters engage in explicit gay sex at every opportunity.

Also I couldn't help but notice you didn't comment on "Sonichu is Dead," where all your characters are killed off one by one. Are you implying that death is preferable to being gay? Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Have a nice day,

Sean August Watley
(P.S. When the Gay Sonichu [[sex toys]] roll off the assembly line sometime in [[2010]], I'll be sure you get free samples.)}}

{{Mailbag}}

Britney Spears

2012-07-06T19:59:47Z

Mage:

[[Image:BritneySpears.jpg|thumb|Britney cosplaying [[Officer Nasty]].]]

{{Quote|I enjoy HER BODY and HER VOICE; She is among my Top 3 Women Celebrities who I Would Love To Fuck|I'm sure she's glad to hear that, Chris.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010]]</ref>}}

'''Britney Spears''' (born 2 December [[1981]]) is an [[American]] singer and favorite [[music]] star of [[Christian Weston Chandler]].<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#More Information About Myself]]</ref> Much like Chris, she has a tendency to make a complete jackass of herself by appearing in [[Nudes|unflattering photos]].

When playing a game of ''[[Pokémon]]'' with [[Lucas]], Chris sang along to Britney songs the entire time.<ref>Lucas in post 17272</ref>

After [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] grew up and became hot, Chris labeled her a "spittin' image of Britney Spears,"<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Over the Years]]</ref> but only because she was blonde (since we all know how good Chris is with facial recognition).

==Britney and Chris's sexuality==
[[Image:Britneyspears-7130.jpg|thumb|left|And we see where he got the [[Lovely Weather|whale-tail idea...]]]]

It is unlikely that Chris is a fan of Spears solely because of her music. He uses her as a method of proving his heterosexuality, as seen in [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|this video]]. On 10 June 2009, Chris once again relied on Britney Spears to prove his "straightness" when he favorited several of her music videos on his [[YouTube]] account. His attempt backfired when the account was promptly hacked and filled with [[gay]] propaganda videos. (It is not confirmed if this really was Chris, but it probably was.)

The entire process of Chris using Britney to prove his straightness is ironic, as Britney Spears is a beloved icon among [[Homos]]; when [[Vivian Gee]] pointed this out [[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2010#2 January|in an e-mail on why others believe him to be gay]], Chris counterclaimed this by saying that "I enjoy [[Women's Rights|HER BODY]] and HER VOICE."

==Britney and Chris's past==
Chris's obsession with Britney might also simply have to do with timing. She was extremely popular in America during the late '90s, when Chris was growing up, and so he might be fond of her music simply for the nostalgia factor — it reminds him of a time when his life was much happier. His interest in her most likely started because all of his friends were girls and all girls back then loved Britney. This would give Chris the opportunity to be [[Tomgirl Pictures|"one of the girls."]]

==Tributes==
[[Image:CWCSchuBrit.jpg|For the record, Britney's marriage only lasted twelve hours.|thumb]]

* He sang along to Britney while playing ''[[Pokémon]]'' in [[The GAMe PLACe]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A]]</ref>
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] performed a cover of Britney's [[Wikipedia:(You Drive Me) Crazy|"(You Drive Me) Crazy"]] called "[[Feel So Lonesome]]", with the lyrics changed so that the song is [[Ego|all about Chris]].
* Near the end of the [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008]] video, Chris's cellphone rings with a "(You Drive Me) Crazy" ringtone.
* When it came time to do Round 3 of the [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3|''SingStar'' Challenge]], Chris chose to "sing" over her B-Side [[Wikipedia:...Baby One More Time (song)|"Autumn Goodbye"]].
* He also played [[Wikipedia:Blackout (Britney Spears album)|"Heaven on Earth"]] on his [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_6:_.233|fake radio broadcast]].
* In his [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|ultimate, irrefutable proof that he is STRAIGHT]] (and completely \m/ metal \m/), Chris put a portrait of Britney on the wall, labeled simply "Oops!" (in reference to [[Wikipedia:Oops!... I Did It Again|"Oops!... I Did It Again"]]).
* He bought the crappy video game ''[[Wikipedia:Britney Spears products|Britney's Dance Beat]]''.<ref>[[List of Chris's games]]</ref>
* He quoted Britney's debut hit when [[100 2270|impersonating Alec Christopher Benson Paul Leary Whitney]], saying "Hey, baby, hit me one more time!"

==References==
<references/>

{{DEFAULTSORT:Spears, Britney}}
[[Category:People]]

Virgin with rage

2012-07-06T18:53:34Z

Mage:

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Tell me why I'm stuck as a virgin with rage Tell me why I so need a cute girl my age|[[So Need a Cute Girl]]}}

[[Image:106-FrustratedVirgin.jpg|thumb|[[Autism|WHY?!]]]]

'''Virgin with rage''' was [[Chris's]] description of himself whilst he was still a virgin. Chris claimed that when he was a virgin, his condition engendered [[stress|frustration]] and [[rage]]. It remains to be seen whether the loss of his virginity will change anything.

Chris was very self-conscious about being a virgin, and frequently brought up the subject unprompted, even in casual conversation with people he had only just met. However, after being advised by his parents that it wasn't a good idea to mention that he was a VIRGIN WITH RAGE, he stopped this practice,<ref>[[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris_in_Person_.28From_THEIR_Point_of_View.29]]</ref> one of the few times he has learned from his mistakes.

== Hormonal rage ==
Chris was extremely distressed about the possibility of being destined to be a virgin forever.

{{quote|Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.|Chris on [[Megan]], [[Story of My Current Days]]}}

Despite his claims that he was "holding back", the emails with [[Megan]] paint a different picture, describing instances of him doing exactly what he says he wouldn't, by giving her random and unwanted touches.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008]]</ref><ref>[[Mimms_and_Lucas_Q%26A#Chris_and_Megan]]</ref>

In another instance, Chris attempted to kiss [[Emily]] by surprise, during an unusually generous hug, however she was able to avoid it, and left unscarred.<ref>[[Emily#Kiss_fail]]</ref>

Likewise, [[Facebook]] correspondence between Chris and a young man named Joshua Alba revealed this pearl:
{{quote|I've thought of a funny message for a Valentine's Day card. On the outside, "Please Be Mine," and on the inside, "My hormones are slam-banging, and I do not have a woman to put them in."

I am not a sex freak; I'm just lonesome and sometimes horny.|Chris, [[Facebook messages]], 10 January 2010<ref>[[Facebook_messages#Other]]</ref>}}

==References by Chris==
*"[[So Need a Cute Girl]]", a song which Chris recorded in August [[2003]], features the first known use of the term "virgin with rage."
*Chris's letter to ''Nintendo Power'' about ''[[Sprung]]'' from the spring of 2004 concludes, "So thank you, [[Nintendo]] and Ubisoft, for the dating advice that this frustrated virgin needed."
*The first issue of ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' from [[2004]] featured Chris's poem "[[Saddest Heart in the World]]", where he whines repeatedly about his virginity and repeats some of the lyrics from "So Need a Cute Girl."
*According to an entry in [[CWC's_Diary#September.2C_2004|CWC's Diary]] from September [[2004]], Chris told his "Lonesome Virgin story" to a [[jerkop]] who interrupted his loitering at the mall.
*After he lost [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris sent an angry e-mail to Sony, where he announced "YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN [[South Park|BALLZ-BROKEN]] LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "[[KICK THE AUTISTIC]]!" *[[sigh]]*"
*Likewise, his [[PSN_Blogs#4_August_2007_.E2.80.94_Adam_Stackhouse.21.21.21|PSN Blog]] update from after losing the contest includes the line "I am a FRUSTRATED, High-Functionally AUTISTIC, 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN."
*In Chris's first video address of the post-[[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] era, [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement]], he doesn't actually come out and bluntly announce that he's a virgin. [[CWC's Second Message]], however, hammers the point home. There, Chris calls himself "the innocent, still 26-year-old virgin."
*During his IRC fan chat from [[Chris's Sonichu IRC Chloe Introduction|26 October 2008]], Chris billed his fictitious new girlfriend [[Chloe]] as his "VIRGIN-TAKER."
*Chris's New Year's resolution for [[2009]], announced on [[IRC (02 January 2009)|IRC]]: "Lose my Virginity with a Woman." Like most people's New Year's resolutions, he failed to follow through.
*While molesting his blow-up doll in the [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy]] video from 17 [[April 2009]], Chris says, "Ivy, I promise you, I promise you my undying love and devotion, I promise you my heart, my soul, even my virginity..."
*Chris's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|Wikipedia profile]] from [[May 2009]] includes multiple references to his virginity.
*In the [[CWC Trollin More]] video from 19 [[July 2009]], Chris announced that he was "still a virgin," retracting one of the more obvious lies in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.
*At the end of [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], from 9 [[August 2009]], Chris sums up his achievements in life (including his [[Julie|trip to Ohio]]) and says that "the—only thing—mark that's not been checked yet for a good life is the virgin-breaker."
*One of Chris's posts on the [[Adult Swim posts|Adult Swim forums]] was signed "Lonely Virgin in Virginia, searching for a Sweetheart-Soulmate."
*In the [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Common Questions]] from 15 [[January 2010]], a correspondent asked Chris why he was so fixated on sex. He answered, "Oh, I don't know, how about being a Frustrated Virgin?!"
*Chris's [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|plea for sex to Damian Antaria]], uploaded 14 [[March 2010]], features his standard whine about being "a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin."

==No longer a virgin (no word on the rage)==
On 12 [[April 2012]] a leaked [[Facebook]] message showed that Chris has been bragging about losing his virginity recently. There is some evidence in the post that, (if it is true, considering Chris' [[Lie|track record]]), it may have been a hired prostitute, given that she compared him to the last guy she was with, told him a [[Duck|blatant lie]] to make him feel good about himself and the most telling of all, Chris saying that his eventual 'Sweetheart-to-be' will find out about it, meaning that this was a [[Fuck Quest|one night stand]].

Further evidence that the girl was a hooker was provided by Chris on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [http://www.backpage.com backpage]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref>

Since prostitution and solicitation of prostitution are illegal in Virginia,<ref>[http://prostitution.procon.org/view.background-resource.php?resourceID=767]</ref> Chris is either [[Lie|lying]] or [[Chris and the law|has committed yet another crime.]]

[[File:Virginbreaker.png]]

{{references}}
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

My Little Pony

2012-06-28T03:49:55Z

Mage: HERP DERP I'M A FAGGOT.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the "[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]" cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on the 31st March, 2012, he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was 'Gabby Gums'.

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the MLP:FiM character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes] fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being killed; of which both videos feature happening, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general.
{{-}}

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and Art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

My Little Pony

2012-06-28T03:45:32Z

Mage: Well, a brony would know what Chris was going on about. Don't worry, not reverting your edit in a fit of mother-calling spergrage. This time.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the "[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]" cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on the 31st March, 2012, he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the ''nom de plume'' used in the episode was 'Gabby Gums'.

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the MLP:FiM character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26 [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes] fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being killed; of which both videos feature happening, and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general.
{{-}}

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and Art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*<s> [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download] </s> - Dead link.

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]

Family Guy

2012-06-26T20:24:56Z

Mage:

[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|THIS IS WHAT HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES.]]

'''''[[Wikipedia:Family Guy|Family Guy]]''''' is an animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], much like the show rips off everything else.

==Influence on Chris==
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least "borrowing") themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible [[hypocrite|hypocritical]], and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of [[religion|brainless Bible-thumping]] Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

===In ''Sonichu''===
The series is the "inspiration" for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his "skitch" in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, poorly drawn, boring shit on his own.

[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] featured the line "Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'" as an apparent example of dirty talk; in [[Wikipedia:Emission Impossible|Emission Impossible]]" "Insert rod support A into slot B," was an example of awful innuendo. Meanwhile, [[Bubbles Rosechu]] asks [[Blake]] what he wished for and he says "It's already come true"; this could be directly from [[Wikipedia:Sixteen Candles|''Sixteen Candles'']], but could also be from the [[parody]] of this scene in ''Family Guy''<nowiki>'</nowiki>s "[[Wikipedia:PTV (Family Guy)|PTV]]".

The "Spring Break" plotline also owes a lot to Meg and Lois's story in "[[Wikipedia:A Fish out of Water (Family Guy)|A Fish out of Water]]", including the bit where every channel is showing Spring Break, even the news channels.

The "[[homos|gay]] vaccine" storyline from [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' 10]] was partially inspired by the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Gay|Family Gay]]", where Peter becomes gay after being injected with the gay gene.<ref>[[Kacey Call 16]]</ref>

In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], Chris copies the line "I'm the virgin Mary; that's my story and I'm sticking to it," from "[[Wikipedia:A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas|A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas]]."

==Chris and Meg==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]

{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his drawings.

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. It turns out that Meg is [[Silvana Rosechu]], an evil hermaphrodite furfag, in disguise. When accused of being a [[pedofork]] (Meg is 17), Chris retorted "SHE PUSHED HERSELF ONTO ME!"<ref>[[Mailbag 37]]</ref>

Chris also wrote about her in [[Mailbag 20]]:
{{quote|She has a fun and sweet personality; she is very pretty; she is smart; what is there NOT to like about her? Nothing from my point of view.}}
==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give Megan more respect, because she [[Chris and writing|IS VERY BEATIFUL]] in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the {{CWCipedia link|Family Guy|plot he posted}} on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos]]exuality, his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]] and issues with the plot that only someone with [[autism]] would notice. Also, the tower incident that [[Chris]] is referring to takes place in the ''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story''. However, Chris is wrong about it causing Stewie to be straight. This is because it is pretty obviously hinted in this movie that he is gay, as he is a virgin at 30, still shows very flamboyant tendencies and is very reluctant to have sex with a woman.

Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

*''"Megan does not deserve [[Kick the Autistic|the abuse]] she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!"''

*''"Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up [[Straight]]."''

*''"[[Wikipedia:Chris Griffin|Chris]] finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of [[Wikipedia:Family Guy (season 6)|Season 6]], Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in [[Wikipedia:Family Guy (season 7)|Season 7]]?"''

*''"While I can see [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brain]] looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?"''

*''"In "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to Multiverse]]", in the "[[Wikipedia:Robot Chicken|Robot Chicken]]" Universe, Stewie asks [[Wikipedia:Seth Green|Seth Greene]] through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my [[PS3]], the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's [[Adult Swim]]. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some."''

*Chris wants American Dad to have "[[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Haley]]" in more episodes.

*He does not care for all the [[pickle|dick]] jokes in ''The Cleveland Show''.

==Other mentions==
Chris recycles ''Family Guy'' jokes at every opportunity, usually so out-of-context that they make no sense.

*In [[CWC's Second Message]], he was angry that people were saying he was a [[pedofork]], like [[Wikipedia:Herbert (Family Guy)|Herbert]].
*Chris said "SHAZZAM!" when [[Vanessa AIM Chat 2|cybering with "Vanessa Hudgens"]], a joke borrowed from "[[Wikipedia:The Perfect Castaway|The Perfect Castaway]]" and "[[Wikipedia:Fifteen Minutes of Shame|Fifteen Minutes of Shame]]."
*Chris constantly described ''[[Asperchu]]'' as "blocky" and "low-resolution"<ref>[[Mailbag 41]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 42]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 43]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 45]]</ref>, which is taken from "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]."
*In [[Rollin' and Trollin']], Chris called [[Obama]] "a regular stand-up family guy."
*In [[Kacey Call 11]], Chris talks about how he hated finding out that Stewie is gay. He also claimed that ''Family Guy'' was temporarily cancelled in 2002 because everyone was "distracted" by [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11]], even though it had already been temporarily cancelled in 2000 due to low ratings, and they hadn't been getting any better in 2001.
*Chris's [[A Public Announcement for Congress|Public Announcement for Congress]] segues into the theme tune of [[Wikipedia:The Facts of Life (TV series)|''The Facts of Life'']], a joke taken from "[[Wikipedia:Running Mates (Family Guy)|Running Mates]]."
*In [[Kacey Call 22]], Chris told her that he ignores it, or turns down the volume, when Stewie acts gay or when pro-homo scenes appear in ''Family Guy''.
*The story [[JenkinsJinkies]] told about his [[Trollin Train|gay experience]] at camp was allegedly inspired by Peter's parrot squawking "I had a gay experience at camp!" in "[[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|Long John Peter]]".<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref><ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>
*In [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora]], Chris sings the fart song from "[[Wikipedia:The Man with Two Brians|The Man with Two Brians]]."
*Chris's knowledge of [[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormonism]] is mainly derived from "[[Wikipedia:The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz|The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz]]."<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>
*Chris has referred to his obesity as a "[[Wikipedia:Budai|Buddha]] belly"; this is probably taken from "[[Wikipedia:To Love and Die in Dixie|To Love and Die in Dixie]]."
*Chris sang "[[Wikipedia:Never Gonna Give You Up|Never Gonna Give You Up]]" in [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008]] - he doesn't seem to link it to [[Wikipedia:Rickrolling|Rickrolling]] and probably knew it from "[[Wikipedia:Meet the Quagmires|Meet the Quagmires]]".
*Chris imitated Peter (horribly) when talking to [[Clyde Cash]] in [[Mumble 4]]: ''"Hey listen, Peter Griffin, he's a family guy and he's [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]] and yet look at his life!"''
* Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].<ref>[[Father Call]], [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], [[sports bra]]</ref>
*When [[100 2266|acting as the Grimace]], Chris said that Grimace is [[autistic]], which he took from a throwaway line in "[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears|Prick Up Your Ears]]."
==Other MacFarlane shows==
[[File:Seth.PNG|300px|right]]
===''American Dad!''===
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley." [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of marijuana jokes or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

===''The Cleveland Show''===
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100 2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8]]</ref>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''
==Sources==
<references/>
==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

June 2012

2012-06-26T20:07:20Z

Mage:

'''June [[2012]]''' started off with Chris' return to [[Facebook]], though it was far from triumphant as Chris confirms that, [[Naive|once again,]] he was duped by the trolls, deflating his ''([[Facebook#to_.40cogsdev_from_me.2C_.40CWCSonichu|borderline]] [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|insane]])'' [[Ego|ego trip]] that started in April. Amazingly, Chris actually upheld his promise to collect donations for cancer via [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], though it's unknown if he'll actually send the money or keep it like the greedy little grubber that he is.

==Events==
*4 June - Chris posts in Facebook, claiming that there was no poster campaign in [[Charlottesville]].
*8-10 June - Chris pledged to sell lemonade and collect money for kids with cancer on these dates, as part of [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]].
*12 June - Chris change his [[voicemail greeting]].
*23 June - Chris posts another Facebook status, declaring his fragile emotional state and (yet again) blaming trolls for it.
*26 June - Chris posts another Facebook status, ranting against adult parodies of [[My Little Pony]] and blaming the trolls for draining him of his creativity

{{Timeline}}

Facebook

2012-06-26T20:05:44Z

Mage:

[[Image:Facebook.jpg|center|300px]]
[[Image:cwc666.PNG|thumb|His friends list has hit the number of [[Clyde Cash|the Beast]].]]
'''Facebook''' is [[Chris]]'s other means of communication aside from [[MySpace]] on his [[Love Quest]]. While often looked over, his correspondence with these [[Trolls|e-women]] reveals that even on the Internet, he manages to convey that he is a fat [[autism|autistic]].

On 31 May 2009, Chris's Facebook was hacked, revealing notes and messages to [[boyfriend-free girls]] in the area in hopes of them becoming his [[sweetheart]]. He failed horribly of course, and [[the Miscreants]] showed us how hard.

Events in 2010 turned Chris firmly against the website. He blamed it in part for his breakup with [[the Wallflower]], and in November had some harsh words and gestures for it while announcing his [[100 2357.MOV|departure from the Internet]].

Sometime in mid 2011, his Facebook account was removed from the site. On 5 [[July 2011]], a new Facebook was discovered with a new picture of Chris. Two days later, his profile was deactivated.

On 2 [[January 2012]], Chris re-opened his Facebook account and uses it as his personal [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]]. Since then, he has left occasional open notes for trolls and talked to his gal-pals.
==Notes From The Man Himself==

===I am a good man===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 5:57pm

There are some cyber bullies who have taken my words and feelings out of context, and twisted them into meaningless mockery.

Please do not believe those terrible rumors; [[Twin Falling Towers|I am a good man]] who needs a female sweetheart to soothe my pains from loneliness, stress of social influences, and heart-aches.

Please help me, so I can help you one day.
}}

===The Common Question, "Do I know you?"===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:49pm

When a person asks you, "Do I know you?", it brings up a greater answer. "I'm not a mind-reader, so I can't tell you how well you know me."
The question is dumb in itself; no one is able to answer it. Because no one can read their mind and answer it with full confidence.
}}

===Man I am SOOO SHY. "How Shy are you?" I am SOOO SHY, that...===

{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 4:48pm

Today, Jan. 24, 2008, I was at the Alderman Library. I was playing Sudoku on my PSP, and I was listening in on this conversation between a couple of cute ladies just to my right. I've enjoyed just listening to them talk about their things; I will not devulge any details, because I am the man who will keep a secret (Plus, I don't know ALL the details). Anyway, after one of the two left, the gal that stayed sittin' next to me, talked on her cell in what sounded like Dutch or German. IT WAS THE PERFECT OPENING for a conversation towards making a new gal-pal. I had it in my head, "Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear your chat on your phone, but was that Dutch or German you were speaking?" I HAD THE NERVE SET UP, I was raring to say it, but when I started to say it, the tension and my shyness and my autism choked me, literally; I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. And she left. I am kicking myself now.

Anyway, THAT IS HOW SHY I AM; I am so shy, that I JUST FREEZE OR CHOKE upon starting to talk to a new girl I don't know yet.
}}

===What I am looking for in a woman===

{{quotebox|1=
Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 1:23am

<nowiki>**</nowiki>Must Meet In-Person First and Upfront (NO Online/Phone/Mail Contact Acceptable beforehand. Must be Referred to me by my Real Friend(s) or Family).

-21 to 29-years old 
-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT 
-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better 
-NOT A Smoker 
-Carefree/Light-Hearted 
-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy) 
-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem 
-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) 
-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches 
-Brunette or Blonde hair 
-B-Cup size minimum 
-Clean 
-Casual 
-Not Crazy or Abusive 
-Make-Up Optional 
-Well-Informed to Expert in sex
}}

===Unsolicited Friend Requests===

{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, February 5, 2012 at 10:27pm

'''Unsolicited Friend Requests WILL BE DENIED AND DELETED,''' ESPECIALLY from ALL People I have '''NOT met IN PERSON, FACE-TO-FACE, Beforehand.'''
}}

===Shooting Myself in the Foot===

{{quotebox|1=
Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 1:34pm

I have often "shot myself in the foot" with great mistakes, including and especially, all of the mistakes I've made from letting myself be Blackmailed, Tricked, Deceived, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, by immature individuals who hide behind the veil of the internet to create hate-filled slanders of my once good name; those people are nothing more than privacy-invading, [[My Little Pony|gum-gabbing, gossip columnists, working for a gravely corrupted, should-be-fired-for-good "editor in chief".]]
}}

===An Open Note===
{{quotebox|1=
Sunday, [[April 2012|April 1, 2012]] at 11:12pm

I want to make something very clear to everyone on [[the internet]]. The hatred against me for the sake of hatred is unjustifiable, and totally uncalled for. [[White Knights|You People Do Not Really give a damn about what happens to me]]. The ONLY person in this world who knows me most and Truly cares about me is [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]]. The Real Friends I have made throughout my lifetime In Person, FREE From the internet, have had the opportunity to know me for who I Truly Am, a [[Death_threats|Caring]], [[Chris_and_remorse|Compassionate]], all-around [[Twin_Falling_Towers|Good Person]]. Those people like me at the very least, NOT counting all of the deceitful people I have had the displeasure of knowing who [[Megan Schroeder|turned Coldest]] [[The Wallflower|Shoulder Against me]] and STARTED all of the Online Hatred. And the rest of you who have Not Met Me AT ALL and INSIST of friending me online; DO I KNOW YOU PEOPLE? NO, I do Not, and I do not think I will EVER want to meet the Vast Majority of you, because you all ONLY want to add further to the [[CWCki|Gabby Gossip Column full of hatred and uncaring content.]]

The ONLY person I have in the world who Cares about me the most is my mother, [[Barbara]], and outside of [[14 Branchland Court|this house]], I do not really have that many people to ANY person who Cares about me at all, even my relatives. NOBODY cares what happens to me and my mother. To the Majority of you, I pray the soul of [[Bob Chandler|my father]] gives you all nightmares, and may [[God]] have mercy on your souls.

You Do Not Really Care About Me, Christian Weston Chandler.
}}

===An Open Note (4/13/2012)===

(note: while it was once a public note, it has either been removed or set to private)

{{quotebox|1=
Friday, [[April 2012|April 13, 2012]] at 10:08pm

It is true, I, Christian Weston Chandler, have had sexual intercourse with a lovely woman Wednesday, April 4, 2012. There is nothing inconceivable about it from the lovely lady and I having the pleasant conversation, exchanging phone numbers, and the very pleasant experience between her and I behind the closed doors at her place. Penile/Vaginal intercourse, Cuddling and Blowing have all taken place.

[[Ego|I do not require any congratulations]] or communications towards any discussions of the details, because I will never tell the full story anywhere online, and certainly anyone I do not, and have not, known personally and In Person.

And to all who continue to pick on and torture me, this is one thing that will ONLY be in your own [[Lie|self-fabricated theories and fables]]; you will never get the full story. And your reign of terror will only result in mockery towards your own Troll/Cyber-Bully kind. You all have my pity towards your [[Chris and remorse|selfish]], [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|demoralizing]], [[28_October_2011#Aftermath|incriminating]], [[Virgin With Rage|lonely]], [[Chris and Anger|hate-for-hate's-sake-filled jealousy and hatred]], and whatever [[Autism|mental and emotional issues]] you each likely suffer from.

You Trolls, Get A Life.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
4/13/2012
}}

===to @cogsdev from me, @CWCSonichu===

{{quotebox|1=
Monday [[April 2012|April 16, 2012]] at 4:21am

Heh. Heh. Heh. ;:j

I am watching YOU, foolish Cyber-Bullies. I LAUGH at your ill idiosyncratic discussions and [[Ego|thinking you all are better than me]]. If you are better, Why have you NOT Learned any Maturity for yourselves. It is wrong to continuously [[CWC_Calls_Out_Three_Na%C3%AFve_YouTubers#CWC_Calls_Out_sonichuizcool|laugh at people with a disability]], and their mistakes, because [[Chris and Reality|the tables turn on the laughing bully and troll]].

[[Chris_and_religion#Delusions_of_Godhood.3F|I am in your dreams]], haunting you for your aiding and abeting towards your sole hate-filled reasons, [[Chris and English|jealosies and lackluster purposes]] against me and my family and friends.

You ALL will pay for your Crimes and Sins of Cyber-Bullying the [[Virgin_with_rage#No_longer_a_virgin_.28no_word_on_the_rage.29|once innocent]] good people and myself. Changing your avatar and screen name and website are all useless, because I Can And Will Find YOU again and again, and I will continue to Laugh at you all and your immature idiosyncries.

HA HA HA.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>This note will be removed from here after being copied or screencapped.<ref>http://789chan.org/cwc/src/13346684418.jpg</ref>
}}

===Save and Keep Derpy Hooves Pony.===

{{quotebox|1=
Wednesday, 25 April 2012 at 17:45

In my humble opinion, I actually like [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony:_Friendship_Is_Magic_characters#Derpy|Derpy]] for her name, given I feel the new voice is an improvement; her name is still very cute. I take no offense whatsoever to the word. I first heard the word from [[Wikipedia:The Biggest Douche in the Universe|an episode]] of "[[South Park]]"; I thought it was only gibberish, and it was funny.

Derpy should still be a featured character, because let's face it, NOBODY, or NOPONY, is mentally perfect, and it is a character like Derpy here that makes us all aware of mental disabilities, great (low-functioning) or small (high-functioning) to tolerate them and help them towards better self-confidence, because [[Chris and reality|we ALL need to feel like we are capable of surviving in this world, community and all public and social situations.]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], VA, [[USA]], respect and like Derpy, and I encourage [[Wikipedia:Lauren Faust|Lauren Faust]], [[Wikipedia:Amy Keating Rogers|Amy Keating Rogers]], and the rest of the [[My Little Pony|MLP:FIM]] crew to keep her on WITH her name, and create an episode teaching tolerance.

Christian Weston Chandler.
April 25, 2012

MLP: FiM - Derpy Talks and Derps
www.youtube.com
UPDATE! Derpy has been removed as canon from this episode. Whether it is permanent or not is not yet known. To see why, click this link to an e-mail the writ...

[[File:Saved.jpg]]

<nowiki>http://www.savederpy.com</nowiki>
}}

Chris later commented

{{quotebox|1=
And what's more good, I have the Original Episode recorded as well from when it aired on [[Wikipedia:The Hub (TV channel)|the Hub]] on Janurary 21, 2012 on my DVR. I really like Derpy. Although I take back what I said about the new voice; the Original Voice IS Better.
}}

===I have decided===
{{quotebox|1=
Thursday, 26 [[April 2012]] at 19:35

The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] in [[Charlottesville]], Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my [[Sweetheart Search]] with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily starting this Saturday, April 27, 2012 fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and [[Mimms|Photographs]] are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the [[Random-access humor|Hippo on my Head]].

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later revised this note, with additions bolded.

{{quotebox|1=
The time is too great, and these qre grave desperate times. I am going to start going back to Fashion Square Shopping Center in Charlottesville, Virginia, WITH my sign and going into my Sweetheart Search with Full On Guns a Blazin'. I will be there on bi-daily '''(Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) starting this Saturday, April 28, 2012''' fom 2:00 to 5:30 PM, EST. And I do not care Who shows up, and Photographs are encouraged with gusto of the mall, me And my Sign on the Hippo on my Head. '''(EVERYBODY has a Hippo on their head; it is called the Hippocampus)'''

I Welcome All.

Sincerely, 
Christian Weston Chandler 
April 25, 2012
}}

Chris later commented:

{{quotebox|1=
I meant the 28th; it was my mistake in judgment at the time of typing up this Note.}}

===Maniacal Laughter from Who now? Oh, wait, It Is ME! >8D===
28 April 2012
{{quotebox|1=

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

You, ALL of YOU, Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, You all are SOO [[Chris and the Law|Fallible]], [[Jackie|Gullible]], [[Death_threat#Chris_as_recipient|Paranoia-Prone]], [[Chris and Fashion|Clownish]], [[14 Branchland Court|At the Bottom of the Heap]], [[Christian Weston Chandler|Stupid]] [[Tomgirl Pictures|FOOLS]]. For I, Christian Weston Chandler, have [[Chris and Reality|FOOLED the VAST Majority of You All]] (not counting those who have posted their own Suspicions). YES, YES, YES! I HAVE been reading your [[Christian Weston Chandler|comically inept]] and crackpot theoretical posts on your Forum. NOTHING IS Private to and of you fools. ;8j

To preface, I will enlighten your puny minds straightforward. I HAD no intention, purpose, or Ability to go to Fashion Square At All on today the 28th. Do you want to know why? OH, you all are soo impresionable. On the 31st of March, I was really having a bad day, what with the upcoming court date on the 4th of April and all. I was feeling very irritable then. I was walking the mall peacefully, but with the stress in my head. I answer a few calls from a troll or two, just to give you all a piece of my anger. Yes, Yes, LAUGH and SCOFF all you want. My answers were cursory and loud. Overheard, YES, I was chased by Jerkops. But I did not receive the yellow slip until the 25th of April that said, "BANNED". So, I later decided to pull a prank on YOU ALL. The elaborate Facebook Note; LETTING YOU ALL shoot yourselves in the foot more by Prank Calling the Mall, and their latest Manager, Mr. Weiner (his name was on the slip, next to "Manager"). I too scoff at his [[Pickle|small-sausage name.]] All I had to do was stay at home with doors locked, and let you all argue and fight it out. I read your posts and laughed and laughed at EVERYTHING you thought was true or what was false; theories and [[Honor roll|mistaken "facts".]]

You all THINK you know me, but you REALLY DO NOT, and You All JUST DO NOT, AND NEVER WILL, UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL. And as long as your Purpose of Knowing Me consists of that of Gossip Columnist or Worse, Trolling, Bullying, Cyber-Bullying, [[Megan|Abuse]], or anything of Malcontent, [[EXCLUSIVE_Manchester_High_School_2000_Reunion_Required_NOW|I Do NOT want you to Know Me EVER]].

In the END, you ALL have played Right Into My Hands, like me overlooking the battlefield and picking up/placing you all one by one into the BOMBING RANGE CENTER! I am a LOT more [[Slow-in-the-mind|INTELLIGENT]], [[Autism|WISE]] and [[Naive|KNOWLEDGEABLE]] than your puny minds can theorize; I am NOT STUPID, nor am I a moron. And you know what? [[Chris and Hypocrisy|YOU ALL Have MADE Me This Way; CRAZY and PARANOID with Loss of PEACE OF MIND.]]

I am [[Creepy stare|WATCHING]] each and every one of you Fallible Trolls, and [[Death_threats#Likelihood_of_Acting_Out_on_Death_Threats|REST-ASSURED]], [[Lie|I know where each of you live, and I am Coming After Each of You All!]]

YES, It was ME, and these posts WERE Real.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

4/28/2012

<nowiki>**</nowiki>More Photos and Comments are in the appropriate Photo Album of mine, "[[Cwcki Forum ScreenCaps]]".
}}

===I am still Reading Your Posts, Suckas===
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 30 April 2012 at 01:41

And to quell one question. "[[JenkinsJinkies]]" "[[Trollin_Train#Hey.2C_Everyone.21_J.J._has_arrived._.28Thu_29_July_2010_12:19_AM.29|camp story]]"; FAKE as any of y'all's sarcastic responses. The idea for that pile of crap I typed just to [[Chris and Reality|convince y'all to believe]] originated from [[Family Guy|Peter Griffin]]'s Parrot; [[Wikipedia:Long John Peter|the episode]] Chris went out with the vet assistant. Polly repeated, "I had a gay experince at camp". [[Rollin' and Trollin'|PUNK'D!!!]]

[[File:Lucrid.jpg]]
}}

===Hey, Trollies===
{{quotebox|1=Tuesday, 1 [[May 2012]] at 5:53

You REALLY want to know what the Victory was for me on the Mall Prank? I'll spell it out for you in a nutshell. I got the BAN note THE DAY BEFORE I made the NOTE on me going back there. You fallible fools had NO PREVIOUS CLUE, neither from me, nor ANYONE or ANYWHERE else. IF you all had prior ban knowledge, Would You who have made the trip, MADE the trip? NO, you would not have. I KNEW THE CRITICAL DETAIL, and YOU ALL DID NOT; I Fooled You All.

And I'll tell you another thing, I DID Have [[Chris and sex|Sexual Intercourse]] with a Half-[[Cherokee]] Woman, but you all will never find out who. I'll give you an inkling; she's somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Village Voice Media|backpage]].

You ALL think YOU KNOW ME; You REALLY DO NOT. I hold MORE information within myself that NONE of you will EVER KNOW. Like, MAYBE I went to a show starring the Hynamin recently. MAYBE I was ON STAGE for one of their demonstrations. MAYBE I got their autographs on my self-made [http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet duct-tape wallet]. MAYBE I do not have a duct-tape wallet. I will neither confirm or deny anything for YOU life-wrecking bastards.

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

[[Autism|I use that statement in the ironic sense that I am currently informing you that I am not going to tell you anything.]]

I ain't tellin' ya nothing.

Good Day,
Christian W. Chandler.
[[May 2012|May 1, 2012]]

P.S. It is now OVER Two-Hundred Screencaps, and Still Counting.}}

Chris's "Hynamin" show is probably a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jamie Hyneman|Jamie Hyneman]]; there was a ''[[Wikipedia:MythBusters|MythBusters]]'' live show in [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]] on 24 [[March 2012]], 100 miles (160 km) from Ruckersville.<ref>[http://www.mythbusterstour.com/washington-tickets/]</ref> Hyneman was also at a USA Science & Engineering Festival on 28-29 [[April 2012]] at Virginia Tech, 162 miles (261 km) away.<ref>[http://www.vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2012/04/042512-vbi-usasef.html]</ref>

===Hey, Doofs! Leave Anna Alone!===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 5 [[May 2012]] at 6:43

She and I are friends, and we talk, but we each have our own lives. She does NOT deserve to be bothered by you doofy trolls at all. It has always been ME you want. She will never ever talk about me even in her wall posts, and she will never friend or acknowledge any of you. Yes, she is cute, and it is possible that she may look like my [[mom]] at a younger age, but I do not see my mom in her, and she is who she is, and I respect Anna as a [[Gal-pal|friend.]]

Aim your [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit]] towards me alone, and Leave All of My Friends and Family alone.

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler.

May 3, 2012}}

===Mimms===
{{quotebox|1=Saturday, 12 [[May 2012]] at 6:35

Daniel Mimms knows a LOT about me. I have divulged a number of juicy stories with him during our card games. Do not believe his denial of any knowledge or association with me.

Facebook.com/TehRussian

Sincerely,

Christian W. Chandler

5/12/2012}}

===To The Trolls===
This message was in response to a discussion on the [[CWCki]] forums about a poster campaign on 2 [[June 2012]], alerting the people of [[Charlottesville]] to Chris's degeneracy.<ref>[http://cwcki.forumer.com/c-ville-poster-flyer-campaign-update-t2224624.html]</ref>
{{quotebox|1=Monday, 4 [[June 2012]] at [[Biological clock|02:20]]

I have continued reading your posts and alerting [[Jerkops|the authorities]] of your actions. NOBODY came to my house at all, you lying, cheating [[Trolls|bastards]]. Frankly, I grow tired of continuing to read your [[Dirty, Crapped Briefs|shit]] [[lies]], including the biggest hoax of yours, the Poster Campaign. [[Naive|Nobody put up any damn posters or handed out frigging flyers at all]]. I have been [[Ego#Surrendering_Information|reading your posts personally through "trombonista's" account]]; there was NO MOLE.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler
June 4, 2012
}}

==iPhone==
On 8 May, 2012, activity on Chris's Facebook page suggested that he was posting from an iPhone or other iOS device.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Screen_shot_2012-05-08_at_2.18.33_PM.png</ref>

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Cwcfacebook1.jpg|Wall
Image:Cwcfacebook2.jpg|Profile, part 1
Image:Cwcfacebook3.jpg|Profile, part 2
Image:Cwcfacebook4.jpg|Profile, part 3
Image:Cwcfacebook5.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook6.jpg|
Image:Cwcfacebook7.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook8.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook9.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook10.jpg
Image:Christina1.jpg|17-year-old Christina 1
Image:Christina2.jpg|17-year-old Christina 2
Image:Christina3.jpg|17-year-old Christina 3
Image:Cwcfacebook11.jpg|Chris rejects a single mom. The ironic thing is that this woman was the only one vaguely interested in meeting up with Chris.
Image:Cwcfacebook12.jpg|"Do I know you?" 1
Image:Cwcfacebook13.jpg|"Do I know you?" 2
Image:Cwcfacebook14.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook15.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook16.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook17.jpg
Image:Cwcfacebook18.jpg
Image:Chrisfacebook2011.png| A screencap of Chris's page from [[July 2011]].
File:Chris's Jan 23rd 2012 profile pic.png | Chris's page in [[2012]].
File:Christran2.jpg | Another facebook profile picture in 2012. Note that it is in the same place as the previous profile picture except Chris is smiling in this one.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_pic_as_of_2-2-12_at_10.58.51_AM.png | Chris's Profile as of Feb 2012
File:Cwcfacebook.png|Chris, now with head band.
File:Chris%27s_FB_Profile_and_Note_as_of_02-06-12_at_1.01.29_AM.png| New note about friend requests
File:Chfb1.png| February leak part 1
File:Chfb2.png| February leak part 2
File:Chfb3.png| February leak part 3
File:Chfb4.png| February leak part 4
File:Cwc.png|February leak part 5
File:61013333.jpg|Full size Picture of Drawing
File:Fbnote1.PNG|Facebook public note 1 (31 March 2012)
File:Fbnote2.PNG|Facebook public note 2 (id.)
File:Ufr.PNG|Another public note.
File:DoubleDogDare.png|Chris double dog daring the intruder of his facebook.
File:Derpy.PNG|The first Brony speaks.
File:FSM2.PNG|Chris's master trolling attempt.
File:Noet chris knows now about us.png|Great Director is watching you.
File:Readinposts.PNG|Chris mocks Lucrid.
File:Trollies.PNG|Chris fucked a hooker.
File:HeyDoofs.PNG|Chris white knighting [[Anna]].
File:Chris_FB_Profile_PIc_(May_8th,2012).png| A profile picture as of May 8th,2012
File:Temporary note on chris' facebook.png
File:Screen shot 2012-05-08 at 2.18.33 PM.png
File:Koreans.PNG| Chris on Eastern Cuisine
File:Train wreck.JPG
File:Chris whines about ponies.JPG| Chris whining after seeing [[My Little Pony]] related "Dark Parodies." He takes particular offence at the tomboyish Rainbow Dash being killed.
File:DarkParodies1.JPG| Rant about the effect seeing the MLP parodies had on him, part 1
File:DarkParodies2.JPG| Rant about the MLP parodies, part 2
</gallery>
</center>

==See also==
*[[Facebook messages]]
*[[Facebook statuses]]
==References==
<references/>
==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?imfjwnjrzi0 Notes]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?20mnnd1juu5 Status]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002534669114 His new Facebook profile]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]

My Little Pony

2012-06-26T20:02:19Z

Mage: What I put may need rewriting.

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:Chris_Chan_Pony.png|thumb|Chris Chan: The original brony]]
'''My Little Pony''' (MLP) is a line of [[toys]] and animated programs intended for girls aged 4-8. Chris picked up an interest in the franchise after being introduced to it by [[Megan]] in [[2007]], buying several of the toys as well as making custom-made My Little Pony dolls for his friends. He has since developed an interest in the "[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]" cartoon.

==Chris and ponies==
[[File:Poorcamo.jpg|thumb|left|One of Chris's ponies, as seen in his [[bedroom]].]]

The homemade ponies vary between being blatant ripoffs of [[anime]] characters, most notably the titular character from ''[[wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' and [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]]'', and horrible [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sues]] such as [[Cherokee|Cheroki-Chan]], who is clearly based on the [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic-book version of Chris]], and Crystal, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|whose origin is obvious]].

In his infamous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris first made his love of My Little Pony known when he recommended to all his viewers that they buy MLP figures of their favorite color to stroke and rub against their cheek, claiming that it was "very therapeutic" and that one could talk to the ponies and pretend that they were girls they wanted to ask out, to help them build confidence. At the time, this was viewed as a very revealing aspect of Chris's life, earning him the mockery of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and [[4chan]] yet again.

In [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009]], you can see his My Little Ponys hanging from his ceiling.

One of the latest known references to MLP made by Chris was on the [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where Chris used a picture of Applejack from the more recent ''[[wikipedia:My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' animated series as his avatar, although his screen name was modeled after the name of another major character in the series- [[Rainbow|Rainbow Dash]].

[[Image:ponyboy.jpg|thumb|Applejack as Chris's avatar on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].]]

A ''Friendship is Magic'' Rainbow Dash toy can be sighted in the background of "[[Correction_of_EX_relationship_status|Correction of EX relationship status]]" and a My Little Pony sticker can be seen on Chris's [[3DS]] in the [[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Wristwatch-SwissWatch]] video.

Chris also has a ''Friendship is Magic'' playlist on his [[YouTube]] account that includes all the episodes, confirming once and for all his love for a children's show.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL20EBD1B6E8BB9E6F Chris's ''My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic'' playlist on YouTube]</ref> Considering [[Ghostbusters|his]] [[Transformers|previous]] [[Pokemon|track]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|record]], it's not exactly surprising. In the [[Facebook]] note he made on the 31st March, 2012, he complains about "gum gabbing gossip columnists working for a corrupt editor", which is the plot for the episode [http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Ponyville_Confidential "Ponyville Confidential"] (which aired not too long before the note was made), the giveaway being that the nom de plume used in the episode was 'Gabby Gums'.

On 24 [[April 2012]], Chris wrote a note on his [[Facebook]], calling for the rescue of the MLP:FiM character "Derpy Hooves", a character who is characterized by her googly eyes and [[Slow-in-the-mind|slow method of thinking]]. However, Chris saw it as a vehicle to gain more pity towards him by sympathizing with a character that had a sort of disability.

On the 26th [[June 2012]], Chris whined about dark pony related media on his [[Facebook]] via [[Twitter]]. He mentioned watching an animated adaption of the infamous [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cupcakes-my-little-pony-fanfiction Cupcakes] fanfiction and the "SHED" instalment of the popular [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ponymov .MOV series]. He took particular offence at Rainbow Dash - a tomboyish character - being killed; of which both videos feature her being murdered and wondered if people did it because they hate Tomboys/Tomgirls.
He went on to rant about the "Dark Parodies" being the reason behind his writer's block, before descending into a tirade of hatred against people in general.
{{-}}

==Cutie mark==

In the [[Forgot the Glitter|new videos]] released on [[February_2012|Feb 25th]], Chris was spotted showing off a drawing on his left thigh which he calls his "cutie mark". It is the combination of the male and female symbol, surprisingly ''not'' having anything to do with [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] for once. It does not seem to be a real tattoo, but instead is drawn on, most likely with his [[Chris and Art|felt-tip pens]].

In the ''My Little Pony'' universe, a cutie mark is a symbol representing an individual pony's special talent and interest. Chris's special talent, it seems, is being a [[tomgirl]]. Considering [[Chris and art|most]] [[Chris and music|other]] [[Spanish|things]] [[Chris and writing|Chris]] [[Chris and cosplaying|has]] [[Sonichu (comic)|tried]] and almost always failed at, it's still not all that surprising.

==In the comics==
[[File:Ponywed.jpg|thumb|Show this to any father with a young daughter and he'd probably think she made it. Purposely bad.]]

Like any eight-year-old girl with the hopes of marrying a blue prince in a fairytale wedding with her BFF pony by her side, [[Wedding_Comic|Sonichu Special 2]] reveals to its unfortunate readers that Chris might have harbored similar thoughts, as his ideal wedding also features a My Little Pony.

After having received a blessing from the best [wo]man [[Sarah Hammer]], the recently united Chris and [[Ivy]] leave the church where the wedding was held in a carriage pulled by what many trolls speculate to be a badly-drawn [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]], which is harnessed to the carriage with what appears to be the Boulder Badge from [[Pokémon]].

{{-}}

==Gallery==
<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|The Gallery of My Little Pony Straightness
|-
!Chris' creation
!Original
![[Card games|TCG card]]
!Notes
|-
|[[File:03-CWC Cheroki-Chan1.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Cheroki-Chan
|[[File:Chero.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Seaspray Pose
|[[File:01-Cheroki-Chan_Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]][[File:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]][[File:159-ChrokiChan.jpg|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Chris's depiction of himself as a pony...or rather, a horse- [[Chris and his Ego|too awesome to be a common pony]]. Just as Chris, Cheroki-Chan has a few [[Autism|quirks]], likes to [[Chris and art|draw and color]], but above all, he is [[Rape|noble and honorable]]. Cheroki-Chan [[Semen|"creams"]] of finding a [[sweetheart]] for himself, yet is having problems, mainly from being rejected once by that [[Chris and race|multi-green pony]], possibly [[Megan|camouflaged]].
|-
|[[File:07-CWC Camo-Flage.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Camo-Flage
|[[File:Camo.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:06-Camo-Flage Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|Posible representation of [[Megan Schroeder]]. She [[Friend Zone|rejected]] Cheroki-Chan's advances, and she is Jonhlamence's little sister.<ref>[[:File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg]]</ref>
|-
|[[File:49-CWC Mimmbo Bo Boruto.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Mimmbo Bo Boruto
|[[File:Mimmbo.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:48-Mimmbo Bo Boruto Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Custom pony based on and made for [[Daniel Mimms]]. ''[[Wikipedia:Naruto|Naruto]]'' is another inspiration.
|-
|[[File:46-CWC Squall Metal Alchamest.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] [[Wikipedia:Full Metal Alchemist|Squall Metal Alchamest]]
|[[File:Squall.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in [[Wikipedia:List_of_My_Little_Pony_characters#Rainbow_Dash|Rainbow Dash]] pose
|[[File:45-Squall Metal Alchemest Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|An inter-dimensional pony with [[Barbara|motherly]] issues. Based on [[Wikipedia:Edward Elric|Edward Elric]] from ''[[Wikipedia:Fullmetal Alchemist|Fullmetal Alchemist]],'' though part of the name may come from Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy 8.
|-
|[[File:10-CWC Crystal.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Crystal
|[[File:Crys.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony Cutie Keen Bean
|[[File:09-Crystal Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Commemorative pony of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]], Chris's future daughter.
|-
|[[File:13-CWC Johnlamence.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Jonhlamence's cyberwarrior
|[[File:Sala.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Rarity Unicorn Pose
|[[File:12-Johnlamence Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Camo-flage's older brother combined with the [[Pokémon]] [[Wikipedia:List of Pokémon (320–386)#Salamence|Salamence]].
|-
|[[File:18-CWC Ty Game2.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ty Game
|[[File:ty_game.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Rainbow Swirl Pose
|[[File:16-Ty Game Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Video games|Gamer]] Pony.
|-
|[[File:22-CWC Bee-Riana.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Bee Riana
|[[File:Bee reana (yellow with the antena.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Ponies Toola-Roola (left) and Meadowbrook (right)
|[[File:21-Bee-Riana Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|When he bought the two-Ponies-set, Chris took Toola-Roola's antennae and put them on Meadowbrook to create Bee-Riana. [[Chris and Sex|Toola-Roola hasn't been seen since]].
|-
|[[File:26-CWC Educait.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Educait
|[[File:Edu.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sunny Daze Pose
|[[File:25-Educait Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|A nerdy Pony. It is of the [[Wallflower]] type.
|-
|[[File:30-CWC Honeysumerah.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Honeysumerah
|[[File:Honey.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:29-Honeysumerah Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Based on a [[Britney Spears|shallow Pop Star]]. "Stickler for a tickler" comes from a throwaway ''[[Family Guy]]'' gag, from [[Wikipedia:When You Wish Upon a Weinstein|"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"]].
|-
|[[File:33-CWC_Modest_Manna.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Modest Manna
|[[File:Modest.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Sweet Breeze Pose
|[[File:32-Modest Manna Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Anna McLerran|Mormon]] pony.
|-
|[[File:36-CWC Linnhadey.JPG|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]] Linnhadey
|[[File:Lin.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:35-Linnhadey Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|'[[Autism|Unique]] and [[McDonalds|Lovin' it]]' Pony.
|-
|[[File:43-CWC Federico.JPG|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Federico
|[[File:Fede.jpg|frameless|center|120px|text-bottom]] Pony in Beachberry Pose
|[[File:42-Federico Card.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Spanish]] Pony. He is annoying because "chicos are chicos." From the rest of his description is impossible to find meaning, both English or Spanish wise.
|-
|[[File:39-CWC Buttonbeck.JPG|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] [[Nudes|Butt]]onbeck
|[[File:Bottom beck.jpg|frameless|120px|center|text-bottom]] Pony in Diva Pose
|[[File:38-Buttonbeck Card.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[Rosechu|Generic soulless and flavorless]] Pony.
|}
</center>

==See also ==
*[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]
*[[List of toys]]

==References==
<references />

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:My Little Pony|My Little Pony]] at [[Wikipedia]]
*[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F12XOB4B Chris's MLP collection photoset download]

[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Toys]]