CWCki - User contributions [en]

So Need a Cute Girl

2021-11-28T03:45:52Z

Majinblue:

{{quote|Such words were never more true, but if I didn't feel the sadness, [[So Lonesome|lonliness]] [sic] or torture in my heart from after my first encounter with that [[Mary Lee Walsh|Witch Bitch]], I might be a fuckin' weak sap, instead of the [[Semen|SALTY]], [[Chris and anger|AGGRESSIVE]], and [[Clyde Cash|TRULY SWEET TO THE LADIES]] and [[Homos|NOT TO MOST]] [[JERKS|MEN]] type of MAN that I AM.|[[Chris]] commenting on "So Need a Cute Girl," 11 [[November 2007]] [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED edit]].<ref name="ed">[http://web.archive.org/web/20091223054201/http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=1997316018&oldid=1997315821 Encyclopedia Dramatica (Wayback Machine), as of 12/23/2009]</ref>}}

'''"So Need a Cute Girl"''' is the first track off of [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]'s [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|eponymous debut album]]. It is sung over a live version of "[[wikipedia:I Want It That Way|I Want It That Way]]" by the [[wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]]. [[Chris]] has described it in an [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] edit as his "[[Love Quest|sweetheart search]] theme song."<ref name="ed"/> It is arguably his greatest hit, and certainly the Hedgehog Boys song Chris goes back to most often; as well as the performances listed below, impromptu features appear in a number of his videos.

Bizarrely enough, since [[November 2013]] the song has been available for download for 89 cents on Amazon's MP3 store. As Chris has never mentioned (or noticed) this, it is very likely a [[troll]] put it up there and is [[carpetbaggers|making money off of Chris's work]].

In 2016, Chris made a [[Singing an ol' diddy|remake]] of the song for the Paid Video Requests, replacing the words "I have a boyfriend" with "I'm already taken" to include [[tomgirl|lesbians]]. In a [[2017]] retrospective, Chris admitted that hearing his old song made him cringe, also misidentifying the original artist behind the song as [[wikipedia:*NSYNC|*NSYNC]] instead of the Backstreet Boys.<ref>[[September 2017 Facebook posts#Opinion on Sachumo's CWC Documentary|"And then, I heard the old song I sang, that makes me cringe now, in tune to "I Want It That Way" from N*Sync..."]]</ref>

==Song==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = "So Need a Cute Girl"
| ytid = 0tCrBvkTVZA
| Stardate = [[2003#August|August 2003]]
| maker = Chris
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}
| style = {{Tragedy|[[Noviophobia]]}}, {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|text}}
| other = {{Audio|text}}
| previous = [[The_24th_Wedding_Anniversary_Special#Part_3|The 24th Wedding Anniversary Special]]
| next = [[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
}}</center>

=== Lyrics===

[''sung over The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way"'']

Hey! Look at me! 
I'm sitting here sad and lonely! 

Without a [[Destruction Of Chris's House|fire]], 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
[[Noviophobia|"I have a boyfriend!"]] 

And I see da ladies walking 
Along one by one, 
And I never wanna hear, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a [[virgin with rage]]! 
Tell me why 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
Tell me why 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

And I have no fire 
But a desire 
To ''not'' hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
(Tell me why) 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Why do all of the [[jerks]] 
Get all of the pretty girls? (Yeah!) 
You may not know this, 
But I want you to know 
That I am a lonesome heart! 

And I have no fire, 
But a desire 
To ''not'', to not, to not 
''Heeeaaar…'' 

Stuck as a virgin with rage! 
So need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
(Tell me why) 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Tell me why 
I'm stuck as a virgin with rage! 
I so need a cute girl my age! 
I ain’t never wanna hear you say, 
"I have a boyfriend!" 

Never say it, now!

* ''In some versions of the song, "as a virgin with rage" is replaced by the alternative lyric "in a sad, lonely cage."''

** ''In a version of the lyrics posted by Chris in one of [[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|his ED edits]], these lyrics are changed to "I mean it when I say, 'I NEED A SWEETHEART.'"<ref name="ed"/>''

** ''In more recent versions, he replaces "I have a boyfriend!" with "I'm already taken!"'"<ref name="ed"/>''

==Music video==
{{Main|All I Want For Christmas is a Pretty Girlfriend}}

==Live performance==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, Live Performance
| ytid = wlP5VhuJubE
| stardate = 12 [[July 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum Scarlet]
| subject = {{Music|text}}, {{Sex|text}}, {{Galpals|[[Love Quest]]}}, {{Other|[[Noviophobia]]}}
| style = {{Rage|[[Virgin with Rage]]}}, {{Crazy|[[Chris and hypocrisy|Drunk]]}}
| shirt = {{RefereeShirt|text}}
| other = {{Live|text}}
| previous = [[So_Need_a_Cute_Girl#Music_video|So Need a Cute Girl, Music Video]]
| next = [[Harvey_Birdman_Commercial#Chris.27s_entry|Harvey Birdman Commercial]]
}}</center>

On 12 [[July 2009]], one of Chris's "friends" uploaded Christian and the Hedgehog Boys giving [[Chris's Big Night Out II|their first public performance]] (sans the Hedgehog Boys, though Chris probably imagined they were there in his head), with their song "So Need a Cute Girl." Perhaps in an attempt to come off as less creepy, Chris opts to use the "sad, lonely cage" lyrics instead of the "virgin with rage" one. Although his performance is predictably sleep-inducing, for the most part, Chris's added "flourish" at the very end of the video (in which, in an attempt to evoke Michael Jackson, he <s>slaps his hand on</s> grabs his crotch) makes for an unforgettable couple of seconds.

=== Transcript ===
'''Chris:''' [''fervently slaps crotch at the end''] LADIES, ALL HANDS ON ME. [''There are no takers, just laughter'']

'''Man:''' [''bewildered''] Oh-whoa-''WHOOOOA there, buddy!!'' Whoa-ho, you got that on film!

==Covers==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GDqJ4VuzhnU}}
| stardate = 30 [[June 2009]]
| maker = {{Liquid|text}}
| subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| type = Song Cover
| info = ''Sonichu: The Animated Series'' response from the real Chris Chandler. Main vocals by Liquid's brother, SimplySpoons/Jon D.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl, cover
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8DTg4nx_dCE}}
| stardate = 4 [[January 2012]]
| maker = [http://guwange.bandcamp.com GUWANGE]
| subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| type = Song Cover
| info = From the album [[Trollsta's Paradise: A True and Honest Tribute to Christian & The Hedgehog Boys]].
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = So Need a Cute Girl (Medley)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xjuc5iQ-eAk}}
| stardate = 11 [[June 2012]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/GhostofBillRiley GhostofBillRiley]
| subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| type = Song Cover
| info = A medley of several covers mixed together with the original.
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CØØL ϟCØØTΣR - So Need a Cute Girl
| video = {{#ev:youtube|UOVELz68Z28}}
| stardate = 13 [[February 2020]]
| maker = [https://soundcloud.com/negativexp]
| subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| type = Song Cover (Mirrored)
| info = Cover made by Negative XP
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = christian and the hedgehog boys - so need a cute girl (glueboy cover)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|37XB_ahoMWk}}
| stardate = 21 [[April 2021]]
| maker = [https://open.spotify.com/artist/0V0ff56r4CNnLzL7yqgkYE lil glueboy]
| subject = So Need a Cute Girl
| type = Song Cover
| info = Usually in [https://www.tiktok.com/music/so-need-a-cute-girl-6959567166924392449 TikTok videos about Chris]
}}

== References ==
<references/>

== See also ==
*[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]
*[[Chris and music]]
*[[Chris's Big Night Out II]]
*[[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]]
*[[Virgin with rage]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Animal Crossing Documentary]]|nextlink=[[All I Want For Christmas Is a Pretty Girlfriend]]|}}
{{Hedgehog Boys}}
{{CWC on TV}}
{{Music Videos}}
{{Love quest}}

[[Category:Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 2004-12-24]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Music Videos]]

Chris and sex

2021-11-27T00:25:13Z

Majinblue:

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Jacob Sockness|a man]] to consider raping him.

Questions of whether or not Chris was capable of rape have been discussed previously among observers, but the situation became much more complicated in [[2021]] following Chris's [[incest]] with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], which has not been proven to be consensual or non-consensual despite circumstantial evidence pointing toward the latter. In light of the information revealed through the [[incest call]] and other outlets from around the same time, it's unclear whether or not Barb agreed to have sex with her son or if he forced himself onto her, and as such, it is not clear if Chris is actually a rapist. Chris noted that Barb appeared to be "partially confused" during certain sexual encounters, which fueled longtime speculation she could have a degenerative mental disease, which would thus make her unable to consent.

For what it's worth, Chris mentioned that Barb made the first move, which would be consistent with certain inappropriate behavior that she got Chris to do earlier in life (such as asking him to spoon with her). As there is little context as to what happened during the incestuous affair, [[List of Chris's lies|as Chris is known for being an unreliable source of information]], and as Barb has not spoken about the subject, it cannot clearly be confirmed to be rape without a proper criminal investigation. Chris has also not been charged with rape despite spending months in jail, awaiting his trial for the incest charge. With Barb being declared mentally competent enough to live on her own in 14 Branchland Court, it is unlikely that rape charges will be pursued, since the legal case for a rape charge is flimsy when operating on the assumption that Barb was cognizant while the affair was taking place.

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and sex

2021-11-26T22:27:25Z

Majinblue: added reference to sockness

{{Dated}}
{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chris-chan-incest-leak-chris-has-been-removed-from-14-branchland-court.96559 incest with his mother].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong--Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms--either medical or slang--for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

==Moral basis on sex and double standards==
===The Bible===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is (partially) dictated by the Bible - or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015 Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the viscous homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although to be fair, the same is true of many Christians anyway.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, than demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]], the exact details of the [[Incest| incestuous]] sex is a bit vague but needless to say every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

==Homosexuality==
{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

===Is Chris a furry?===
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry was, for a long time, debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it was confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris was actually prejudiced against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], in May 2018, Chris went back on another of his long-held beliefs. Becoming another of the things he used to loathe, Chris dubbed himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with furry [[imaginary friends]] such as [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry via his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], he has not participated in the furry community itself.

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was - in a rare display of common sense - afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]] a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[:File:TingsTingz concern for the prostitution message.jpg]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://tweetsave.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

==Incest==
{{main|Incest}}
{{Dated}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]]-apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such- Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one-another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana- Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest- as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understood the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold of a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this was drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

'''Actual sex with Barb'''

While it was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest]] calls were leaked there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, the main one being the fact Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years and telling to Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each over have indicated incestuous interest in each over for a while, however many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[Autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so for ''months'', his "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in-line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the [[Christorical eras|Classic Era]] to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex causes him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone tell her about it after.

Chris has a surprisingly mature moral opinion on the subject of abortion in cases of rape; in one of the [[Kacey Calls]], he states he believes that abortion in these cases should be the choice of the victim only and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his Ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately got him kicked out.

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]]. However, given Catherine's experience with Chris during their outing (in her words, she was taken by surprise and couldn't react to it), it was encouraged that women should exercise caution around him.

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length distance away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Jacob Sockness|a man to consider raping him]].

Questions of whether or not Chris was capable of rape have been discussed previously among observers, but the situation became much more complicated in [[2021]] following Chris's [[incest]] with [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]], which has not been proven to be consensual or non-consensual despite circumstantial evidence pointing toward the latter. In light of the information revealed through the [[incest call]] and other outlets from around the same time, it's unclear whether or not Barb agreed to have sex with her son or if he forced himself onto her, and as such, it is not clear if Chris is actually a rapist. Chris noted that Barb appeared to be "partially confused" during certain sexual encounters, which fueled longtime speculation she could have a degenerative mental disease, which would thus make her unable to consent.

For what it's worth, Chris mentioned that Barb made the first move, which would be consistent with certain inappropriate behavior that she got Chris to do earlier in life (such as asking him to spoon with her). As there is little context as to what happened during the incestuous affair, [[List of Chris's lies|as Chris is known for being an unreliable source of information]], and as Barb has not spoken about the subject, it cannot clearly be confirmed to be rape without a proper criminal investigation. Chris has also not been charged with rape despite spending months in jail, awaiting his trial for the incest charge. With Barb being declared mentally competent enough to live on her own in 14 Branchland Court, it is unlikely that rape charges will be pursued, since the legal case for a rape charge is flimsy when operating on the assumption that Barb was cognizant while the affair was taking place.

==Contraceptives==

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have non-protected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010 <ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_Sex_Logs#Condoms</ref> and January 2013.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(27_December_2008)</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref>. Its not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

==See also==
*[[China]]
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and gender]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Homos]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Naive]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Incest]]

== References ==
<references/>

{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Saga

2021-10-15T17:28:32Z

Majinblue: edited to be more consistent with the post-merge article

{{Protip|Contacting Chris does not a saga make, even if it gets a response. Getting your own saga in Christory is also ''NOT'' an achievement. [[Julie|Just]] [[Megan|ask]] [[Idea Guys|these]] [[Bella|people]].

In addition, it is important to note that sagas by definition occur for a number of reasons, regardless of troll involvement. These sagas are about Chris, not you.}}
{{Illustrations}}

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]

{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}

A "'''saga'''" (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is a story arc of events, documenting Chris' actions during a specific span of time.

==Overview and terminology==
[[File:Chris chan evolution.png|thumb|left|350px|So much happened before, between, and after these two photos of Chris.]]

The events and happenings of Chris's life do not always follow a clear, linear pattern. Chris has had quite a few busy months with much trolling action to be documented, punctuated by slow years with little new. Christory is not easy to predict, and much of it is told from Chris's perspective. As such, a purely chronological view of Christory can be hard to follow for many.

Chris is also known to develop quick, passing obsessions, with some lasting longer than others. As such, ''sagas'' are defined arbitrarily, and they generally aren't documented until after many significant actions occur. Otherwise, there would be hundreds of sagas.

Sagas can include Chris's obsessions at the time, his responses to trolls, events that dramatically affected his life, and interactions with other people. "Sagas" are typically treated as landmarks within the CWC timeline.

Furthermore, sagas are separated into '''eras''', where the overall climate surrounding Chris has changed drastically. These eras play a significant role in what can be considered a "saga". What can be considered a "saga" largely depends on how Chris's current mindset plays into it. Typically groups of events that best illustrate said climate within that era are considered "sagas". All in all, the one key element that defines all sagas is that '''Chris is the core of it'''.

[[CWChronology|CWChronologists]] use the term to describe an on-going [[troll]]ing effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sagas might unfold over a period of anywhere from a few weeks to several years in length. Upon his online discovery in late [[2007]], [[Chris]] was found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment. As a result, he has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or another ever since. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time, or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period, as royal dynasties are used to divide national histories into epochs, yet Chris would describe his [[Love Quest]] as a saga on the cover of ''[[Sonichu 4]]'' in [[2005]], well before he became publicly known.

For our own purposes, we consider the following events as "sagas".

==Meta-sagas==
For nearly two decades, Chris has been going through one tumult or another. However, throughout each of these, Chris has had a [[autism|special interest]] or obsession that would follow him through all of them, and would define him as a person. Indeed, this central focus of his life would serve to unite his sagas with a common theme: a near-certain way to get a reaction out of Chris would be by winning his trust through feeding his special interest, and then exploiting it for [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. For most of Christory, this would be pretending to be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], but more recently this has transmuted into [[Chris and his Ego|feigning to worship]] him. As they are threads running through and linking together, and are the broadest strokes of Chris's life, they can be considered ''meta-sagas'', beyond and more fundamental than the fleeting fancies of any individual [[troll]].

===Love Quest (ca. 2003 - March 2018)===
[[File:LoveQuestSaga.png|500px]]
{{Main|Love Quest}}
''The'' quintessential saga, and the one that introduced this word to the Christorian's lexicon. Sometime early in his career at PVCC, Chris decided that he needed a girlfriend to call his own. Beset on all sides by the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]] (read: women were repulsed by his unusual mannerisms), the [[virgin with rage]] resorted to increasingly desperate and bizarre methods of obtaining one, which have seen him [[List of places that have banned Chris|expelled and banned]] from multiple reputable establishments. After his discovery by the Internet, Chris would flutter from one professed girlfriend to another, thinking that each might be the [[CWCisms#H|heartsweet]] that might end this search once and for all. Alas, it was not meant to be, and Chris often found himself betrayed and humiliated in comical and grotesque ways. The Love Quest survived several upheavals in Chris's life, including his father's death, the loss of his virginity, the house fire and his gender transition (see below), yet despite Christorians' predictions, and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]]'s injunctions, finally concluded in [[March 2018]], when a mentally eroded Chris declared himself in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his [[Chris and reality|fictional characters]].

===Transgender Saga (''30 March 2011 - Present'')===
[[File:TransgenderSaga.png|500px]]
{{main|Transgender}}

In [[2011]], Chris began the process of gender transitioning. In March of that year, he starting cross-dressing and later came out as a "tomgirl". Despite resistance from his parents, Chris continued down the transgender path, exploring his gender identity. In 2014, he briefly identified as a lesbian male, and a year later, settled on identifying as a lesbian transwoman.

===Business Saga (''3 July 2014 - 8 June 2016''; ''June 2017 - July 2021'')===
{{main|Chris and business|Bryanfrogboy| TSSSF}}
Although this Saga began during the Sonic Boom Saga, it ultimately outlasted it. Chris realized during this Saga that he could make significantly large amounts of [[money]] by selling his own products, including Medallions and customized [[Sonichu Amiibo]]s, first on [[eBay]], then on [[Etsy]]. This Saga is notable for featuring the return of frequent video uploads by Chris. Inevitably, Chris's laziness got the better of him (again) and he failed to ship out multiple orders. As his interest in making money dwindled, the [[Financhu Crisis]] began to strain the Chandler finances. Chris failed to get his act together, resulting in him getting banned from selling on Etsy on 8 June 2016, halting the Saga. There were a [[Paid Video Requests|few]] [[Skylanders Imaginators Leader Christine W Chandler: random Review N' Stuff|recurrences]] where Chris attempted to profit from his own products again, but these were expectedly fruitless and short-lived. In [[May 2017]], Chris began drawing [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] pages again after a 561-day hiatus, and in June, he resumed monetizing ''Sonichu'' comics, by setting pages as rewards on his [[Patreon]] account and again offering printed books from [[Lulu]].

On 2 January 2018, Chris became aware of Twitter artist [[Bryanfrogboy]]'s, fan art of his [[Sonichu]] comics along with his upcoming prequel comic. Bryan then soon claimed that he would make merchandise off of the francise, to which Chris approved. Through 2018 and 2019, Chris has grown neglectful of his commercial obligations, failing to produce Sonichu pages and ship items, culminating in his restriction from [[eBay]] on 16 June 2019.

On 16 August, 2019, Chris began to create trading cards for his Sonichu comics, much like his [[Wall of Originals]] using a template from the My Little Pony parody game ''[[Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder]]''. His most ambitious project in several years, Chris fully embraced the concept, and has seemingly supplanted the ''Sonichu'' comics in favour of the cards as his principal monetary venture.

Chris' Patreon was shut down in [[August 2021]] after he was arrested for incest.

===Financhu Crisis Saga (''12 April 2016 - Present'')===
[[File:FinanchuSaga.png|500px]]
{{main|Financhu Crisis}}
Coined by the members of the [[Kiwi Farms]], this saga began when Chris released [[Please, Donate|a video]] asking for donations in exchange for gifts. Then, he cut out the gifts, and when his Etsy shop was closed, resorted to straight begging, [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|prostitution]], and [[By random request; I still need money, please|video]] [[Update 20160718|requests]]; all while continuing to buy over $1,000 worth of toys and only selling [[Update 20160718|'''THREE POKÉMON CARDS''']] at this saga's beginning, and putting various worthless junk on eBay for exorbitant prices. Chris was eventually able to sell the [[Sonic Totem|Sonic totem]] for $1500 only to [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04142017|immediately admit to wasting the profits]] on toys and a [[$400 gold necklace]] to replace one Barb previously pawned; a selfish act that shows the full extent of Chris and Barb's financial incompetency. His begging also goes to the point of [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Who wants to pay our mortgage?!|asking on Facebook]] for someone to pay his mortgage. This also shows Chris's [[ego]], since he [[Announcement 06292016|treats his monetary problems that he caused as a charity]].

In June 2017, Chris began to take his Patreon more seriously by actually working on the Sonichu comic; as a result, his Patreon earnings skyrocketed to hundreds of dollars per month and mitigated his desire to beg for money. As a result, Chris stopped begging in July. However, he remained deeply in debt and showed no signs of developing greater financial responsibility.

In late 2017 and early 2018 work on ''Sonichu'' slowed, as did Chris's Patreon donations. Around this time, Chris later claimed, he had to cover an unknown but essential large expenditure which he refuses to discuss in detail. As a result, Chris resumed begging and selling items on eBay with greater intensity than ever, peaking in early May when he made [[WE NEED MONEY FOR MORTGAGE NOW, PLEASE|a trilogy of panicked videos]] revealing that a mortgage payment on [[14 Branchland Court]] was due soon and that the unknown expenditure had left him and Barb unable to cover it. Though Chris was saved by an influx of donations and eBay sales, the Chandlers' financial situation evidently remains more desperate than ever.

===Goddess Saga (''2017 - Present'')===

===Dimensional Merge (''14 October 2018 - Present'')===
[[File:Merge saga.png|500px]]
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

Due to the influence of the Idea Guys and Teen Troon Squad, ideas of a dimensional merge began to manifest within Chris. This came to a head in [[October 2018]], when Chris uploaded a video where he announced that our dimension will soon merge with another. He has revised the deadline for this prophecy several times. This was followed by several months of him droning about it on Twitter, even during his Soft Exile (described below). Various weens, including [[Sarah and Steve]], would circumvent new Twitter restrictions through physical mail or other channels, seeking to encourage him further; in [[April 2019]] things went to a new level when [[Future_message_from_Crystal_W_Chandler|a video]] was posted of a masked man reading a letter supposedly from a time-traveling [[Reginald Chandler]] announcing the merge.

==Pre-Christory (''[[Birthday|24 February 1982]] - June 2000'')==

The world at large discovered Christian Weston Chandler on 27 October 2007. Before this time, we have only a scanty record to the details of Chris's life. For the early Noughties, the earlier ''Sonichu'' comics (especially [[Sonichu 4]]) are a substantial, if biased, record of notable events; Chris has supplemented this with several other records, including his [[diary]], and some videos (as his 2004 Christmas) have been leaked. For the twentieth century, which includes all of Chris's childhood and [[honor roll|high school years]], our records are much sparser. Some content, such as [[Manchester High Leaks|some school papers]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|television footage]], have been unearthed, though much remains unknown or dubious. Indeed, much of our knowledge of Chris's childhood comes from later accounts by Chris. However, Chris's childhood is what made him the manchild he is today, so we must discuss it when discussing him.

===Proto-exile (''August 1983 - 1989'')===
{{main|Abusive babysitter|Autism}}
When Chris was eighteen months old, an abusive babysitter named Roach (or Roche) locked Chris in a room filled with nothing but toys. This was allegedly the event that led to Chris's autism, though actual scientific evidence points to it being an inborn disorder. Some accounts describe the room as a closet, while others describe it as a playroom. In any case, the trauma turned young Christopher from talkative to mute. He wouldn't speak or vocalize again until the age of seven.

===Greene County Conspiracy (''1991-92'')===
{{main|Greene County Conspiracy|Nathanael Greene Elementary School}}
Chris was allegedly abused at Nathanael Greene Elementary School by the principal and members of the staff. According to Chris, they pinned him down and recorded him screaming. His father then moved the family to Richmond and took legal action against the school district. The case was dropped in 1994. Chris claims that he had very uncomfortable experiences with one allegedly gay teacher at Nathanael Greene which Chris uses to justify his homophobia. Chris and his father also believed that the Greene County school system was not qualified to teach autistic children and Chris would spend his fifth grade being homeschooled by his parents in order to protect him from the perceived danger of the public school system. He and his family relocated to the Richmond area on the other side of the state, where he'd spend the remainder of his years as a minor.

===Leonard Bearstein Saga (''December 1992 – December 1993'')===
{{main|Christopher's name change}}
[[File:The Leonard Bearstein Saga.jpg|500px]]

On Christmas of '92, shortly after Chris's move to Richmond, he encountered a miracle. Up until this point, his full name had been Christopher Weston Chandler. Then, he saw an animatronic orchestra playing popular Christmas tunes at the local mall. The orchestra was headed by one Leonard Bearstein, a robotic bear controlled by an operator behind the scenes.

The bear would often interact with the kids, and when Chris told him his name was Christopher, the bear misheard him as saying Christian. Chris took it as a sign from God, while Bob believed it was the bear's British accent. In any case, Chris started going by Christian and had his name legally changed in court the next year. He wouldn't change it again [[transgender|until 2016]].

===High School Saga (''August 1996-June 2000'')===
{{main|Manchester High School}}
[[File:The High School Saga.png|500px]]

In many senses, Chris peaked in high school. He holds his high school memories and gal-pals dear to his heart. From a positive view, he had his [[gal pal]]s, [[honor roll]], and job as a <s>water boy</s> basketball team manager, and he produced a high volume of [[art]], which included [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] himself. On the flip side, he got an [[Song of Christian|F in English]] and had to ride on the short bus. Graduation was especially painful when he didn't win a not-so-prestigious best artist award.

A lot went on during this time period, so consider reading the [[Manchester High School]] article for the fine details.

==Early Adult Chronicles (''June 2000 – 27 October 2007'')==
Chris came of age in 2000, a time of many transitions. Once he graduated from [[Manchester High]], he was no longer in the safe, regimented world of compulsory education. No more guaranteed or arranged friendships, and the kid gloves have come off. Colleges are also stricter when it comes to setting accommodations for students, and professors don't always have time for special arrangements. Additionally, Chris got a taste of the real world at [[Wendy's]], which fired him for unknown reasons.

The little boy who [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|was once doing so well]] now had to make his life work outside of school. Of course, there are programs that can help autistic folks find work, but Chris figured that was too [[stress]]ful. Instead, he instead took the easy route with help from [[Bob]]: he applied for [[Monthly tugboat|social security disability checks]]. While fellow students had to balance their schedules with jobs, Chris had all the time in the world to focus on school. After graduating, his whole life became free time. Without a job, Chris had little motivation to get his life together.

Records for this period, while scarcer than in modern times, are much more substantial than those of Chris's childhood. Even without external provocation or influence, the events of this period, including the Love Quest and first ''Sonichu'' [[comic]]s, were enough to make Chris an Internet legend, and would lay the foundation for everything yet to come.

===PVCC/Attraction Sign Saga (''September 2000 - May 2006'')===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College|Attraction Sign}}
[[File:The PVCC Saga.png|500px]]

From [[2000]] to [[2006]], Chris attended Piedmont Virginia Community College, a local community college, to obtain a degree in [[Computer-Aided Drafting and Design]]. It took him five years of [[Chris's education|schooling]] to complete an ostensibly two-year degree, and this time in his life was not without drama. His 21st birthday in [[2003]] marked the beginning of the [[Love Quest]]. Chris would go around campus carrying a [[sign]] showing his demands for an ideal partner. [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a dean at [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]], confiscated the signs. He retaliated by making more; he even printed some out to put around campus walls. Chris eventually confronted Walsh, who [[banned]] him from PVCC for a year. Chris had to receive a [[autism papers|psychological evaluation]] to be allowed back on campus, and he began using the sign in other locations. Chris immortalized Walsh as a cartoon villain in [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]].

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - April 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

From 2005 to 21 April 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris. The saga would come to an end when Megan told Chris [[Megan_emails, 2008#Megan can't trust Chris anymore|she could no longer trust him]]. Nonetheless, Chris has refused to let her go, and his useless attempts at trying to make amends have stretched all the way to ''2018'' (for reference, that's a ''decade'' since Megan cut off ties from him).

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Adam Stackhouse|Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown}}

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|contest]] in order to win Megan's heart (more or less her china too), only to be beaten by a much superior entry made by one Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

Over a decade after the Saga concluded, Chris finally made peace with Stackhouse after the latter made a surprise appearance in the audience for [[MAGfest#The_Christory_of_Sonichu_panel|Chris's panel]] at [[MAGfest]] 2018.

==Classic Chris Era (''27 October 2007 to 20 March 2010'')==
The era that most associate with Chris. The mists of antiquity begin to fade on 27 October 2007, when an unrelated thread on the ''Something Awful'' forums was derailed by someone mentioning seeing our epic cycle's hero in the flesh.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Encyclopedia Dramatica}}

In November 2007, trolls would discover Chris and create a page about him on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Chris would initially think that they just got his information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, in the process destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm, although the site has long since fallen out of relevance in Chris's life, replaced with outlets such as the [[Kiwi Farms]].

===Blanca Saga (''August - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[white knight]]ing efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain Chris's [[medallions]] and film a video of them cutting one up and [[Fire|setting it ablaze]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''August 2008 - June 2014'')===
[[File:Game Place.jpg|500px]]
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

Currently the second-longest saga in Christory. For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain in the ass to store manager [[Michael Snyder]], and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, and [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael [[CWC is Angry|to shoot at]], but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the second-longest saga to date, it's little wonder why Barb believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, on 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' However, this would later be proven dishonest when [[October 2014|6 months later]] he made an angry post on Facebook where he pins all of the blame onto Megan. In the post, he claims that Megan had been plotting with a GAMe PLACe employee to set up everything to get him banned, from the photo being taken by Mimms and Lucas to Megan "pretending" to kiss a "homosexual jerk", thus leading to him getting banned forever. He then goes on to say that he'll continue to curse the GAMe PLACe and Megan until she apologizes for what she's done. His plans were soon foiled in June 2014, however, when it was revealed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] that the GAMe PLACe was shut down for good. Regardless, he ''still'' holds a grudge against Mike.

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he was led to believe that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - mid-2010)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In 2008, Chris encountered a new troll named Clyde Cash, who went on a months-long trolling spree to get back at the autistic wonder for supposedly causing his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]]. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when he found out that she was supposedly found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, the ever-gullible Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian [[Brushfire Video|brushfires]], despite living miles away from the incident; question remains as to whether she really died in this event, or was actually working in tandem with Clyde, their relationship being consensual after all. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by a troll posing as [[Nintendo]] developer [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], claiming he would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Unfortunately, Chris proved to be nothing more than a couch potato, and his ineptitude resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, "[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]" shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Julie}}

Arguably ''the'' most divisive and controversial out of Chris's trolls until the [[Idea Guys]]. In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a 13-year-old troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]] and then torture Chris in many ways in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] chat, where he forced Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to shove it up the dumper. BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris, as well as his arguably abusive ways of trolling him, would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki. One other less disturbing yet no less fascinating incident that came about as a result of this Saga was the [[Ohio Trip]]; taking place just a week before the infamous reveal, Chris was willing to drive hundreds of miles to Cleveland in the hopes of rescuing Julie from Max and Clyde Cash; needless to say, this has been the furthest he's driven for any Sweetheart, and since then Chris was unwilling to drive significantly shorter distances to meet later potential girlfriends such as [[Kacey]] and [[Jackie]] in the years that followed.

===Ivy Saga (''March - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, a girl named Ivy decided to impress a friend by asking Chris for a video shout-out. She didn't know what would come later; his crush towards her would lead him to create 3 special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and Christorians, but also provided an incredibly important resource for the latter in showing Chris's [[Heart Level]] at perhaps the strongest it had been since 2007, at least for a time. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's (fabricated) suicide.

===Vanessa Saga (''April - May 2009'')===
[[Image:Vanessa Saga.png|500px]]
{{main|Joshua Martinez|Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Saga}}

In [[April 2009]], troll and fellow [[James Madison University|speech therapy]] attendee [[Joshua Martinez]] succeeded in getting Chris to believe that the ''High School Musical'' actress and pop star [[Vanessa Hudgens]] was in contact with him, through Joshua's AIM, in retaliation for Chris's horrible attempt at getting [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ED]] to [[Vanessa_Saga#Email_to_Joshua|troll him]] like Chris, himself, had been trolled. Chris would create videos to show that he was movie-star material, going so far as to [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|cheat]] on his current [[troll|true and honest]] [[Ivy|sweetheart]]. Predictably, [[Chris and reality|he wasn't]] exactly the type Vanessa was looking for.

This [[Vanessa Saga|saga]] goes to show that even the most gullible of things can get by Chris, even when the perceived truth is a [[Weening|horrible]] [[Autism|excuse]] of ammunition against the poor manchild, which just shows how desperate he may be for [[Love Quest|romantic attention]].

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given his own wiki to upload his comics and blog about his personal life, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

After 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''21 June - 10 November 2009'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, Chris came up with a plan to try getting the trolls off his back. He [[Rollin' and Trollin'|faked a revelation]] that he was apparently a troll himself who is the complete opposite of Chris in real life. Along then came the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler, which got the other Chris (at this point nicknamed [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] and Solid Chris) really pent up with rage. Ian would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, after a [[Kacey calls|long]] [[Father Call|series]] [[Kacey and Liquid Call|of]] [[The End for Real|calls]] that proved Ian to be unworthy of her love, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July 2011.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 10 January 2012'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg|500px]]
{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fanfiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and his identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]]. This later turned out to be fake as months later, the ''real'' Christopher Paul Whitney made a response to Chris and essentially confirmed he was not Alec.

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg|500px]]
{{Main|Surfshack Tito (troll)}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with [[The Wallflower]], hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release her name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|flashing his underwear while wearing a Scottish kilt]]. At the same time, Chris discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. To put it bluntly, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

==Dark Ages (''20 March 2010 to 3 September 2014'')==
Though [[The Miscreants|the Miscreants]] could collectively keep Chris on edge for well over a year, it was inevitable that the archetypical lolcow would someday cease to give milk. His seeking out the Wallflower and then Jackie in person, instead of believing every self-declared boyfriend-free girl who caught his fancy online, was an early sign of the changing atmosphere: Chris's ill-fated attempt to seduce her marked a shift from focusing on on-line to real-world affairs. Information on Chris's life would increasingly need to be sought through [[Flipnote Hatena]], in-person encounters and other sources beside the Internet; [[Chris and cinematography|traditional videos]] became less frequent. Occasional [[muscle bra|transvestitism]] would soon become [[tomgirl|permanent]] as Chris began to leave his old identity behind him. Surprisingly, Chris would come to abstain even from his traditional [[Love Quest|pursuit of women]] and put the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]] on indefinite hiatus.

All sagas during this period are of this early transitional phase: [[Bob Chandler]]'s death in late [[2011]] drew a veil over Chris's affairs for the next several years. Direct records from Chris during this time are nearly exclusively found on [[Facebook]]; for a time, it appeared that Chris had learnt from his many years of abuse at the Internet's hands and was finally keeping a low profile. We are again dependent mostly on third-party sources for events such as [[28 October 2011|Snyder's near-death at Chris's hands]], the resulting [[Chris and the law|conviction]] and the [[2014 house fire]] in the following years. Organic CWC-generated activity would not re-emerge until mid-[[2014]], proving that he had, in fact, [[honor roll|learnt nothing]] from past events.

===First Exile (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===
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{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost the Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down several times. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

===Jackie Saga (''5 April - 26 November 2010; 7 December 2010 - May 2012'')===
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{{main|Jackie}}

Following the Wallflower incident's fallout, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party--[[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend--stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, leading many to believe that the Jackie saga had finished.

However, in [[December 2010|December]], Jackie and Chris were in contact again. This would not be known until 2013, where a whole bunch of emails from then to [[September 2011]] were leaked. During this time, Chris came out as a tomgirl to her, while she later got Chris to make a bunch of humiliating videos, including [[Cakefarts]]. These would be leaked in [[February 2012]], leading to Chris unfriending her on Facebook in [[April 2012|April]], though refriending her a month later. She was never heard from again, putting an end to the saga.

===Calling Out Saga (''6 August - 6 September 2011'')===
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{{main|Calling Out}}

During the beginning of [[August 2011|August]], Chris began to release videos as an attempt to get some sort of [[fangs|reprisal]] and [[Chris and his Ego|apology]] out of the [[trolls#The Few, the Proud, the Elite|trolls]]. Chris warned the trolls that if they didn't meet his [[Chris and negotiation#Calling Out|demands]] on the [[Stress|deadline]] Chris had set for them, then Chris would leak information [[Naïve|that he believed to be true]], even though most believe some of the information to be [[Kimmi|fake]]. This saga is notable for [[Calling Out#Summary|videos]] that showcase Chris's new [[Tomgirl Pictures|Tomgirl]] look, and further set in stone the aformentioned [[Tomgirl Saga]]. Though Chris reached the zenith of the Calling Out Saga on a high, having believed himself to have exiled some of his most prominent rivals from the internet, these series of videos would, however, come to an abrupt [[September 2011#Events|end]] after [[Chris and death#Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927–2011)|tragedy struck the Chandler household]].

===Second Exile (''6 September 2011 - 9 July 2014'')===
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Unlike the other exiles listed here, the Second CWC Exile came unannounced with the death of his [[Bob Chandler|father]]. Then came [[28 October 2011|October 28]], a day which will live in infamy for Chris. After trespassing and running over [[Michael Snyder]], he and [[Barb]] were arrested. Despite the help of [[Rob Bell]], they were found guilty and were sentenced. Since that day, most, if not all of Chris' internet activity were confined to his [[Facebook]] account, where he would gripe about loneliness and nostalgia. It wasn't until 2013 where he uploaded a new video. Although [[January 2014]] would bring him back to the spotlight briefly due to [[2014 house fire|a house fire]], it wasn't until the Sonic Boom saga where he would return to relevance.

==Renaissance (''3 September 2014 to 24 October 2017'')==

Chris soon came back to relevance on September 3 2014 when he showed irrational hatred for the Sonic the Hedgehog reboot, [[Sonic Boom]].

===Catherine Saga (''9 July - 14 December 2014'')===
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{{main|Catherine|Catherine E-mails}}

With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to a Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new sweetheart, whose identity he managed to surprisingly conceal for period of time. Later, he would [[I Love You, Catherine|reveal]] that her name was Catherine. Predictably, she turned out to be a troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. According to Catherine, his [[Catherine#The Date|behavior had not improved]] since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's [[Rental House|comprehension of basic sanitation]]. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his [[Un-clit|perineum]], meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.

===Sonic Boom Saga (''3 September 2014 - 7 December 2015'')===
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{{main|Sonic Boom Protests}}

This Saga began with Chris grumbling on [[Facebook]] about the announcement of the latest [[Sonic]] game, ''[[Wikipedia: Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric|Sonic Boom]]''. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris unique in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris only took umbrage at the fact that the color of Sonic's arms had been changed from tan to blue.

This baffled most of his white knights, with [[William Elliott Waterman]] trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering ''Sonic Boom'' was not part of the ''Sonic'' canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his white knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit" took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and [[Death Threats|angry messages]] on Sega Facebook pages.

On [[26 December 2014|Boxing Day]], however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's second pending court case. Despite warnings from even his most loyal white knights, Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had [[List of places that have banned Chris|previously been banned from]]. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on Boxing Day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the [[manajerks|management]]. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exit and, whilst on the way out, maced an employee, who hadn't been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have Barb bail him out afterwards.

Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out Kengle because he owns a ''comic'' with blue-armed Sonic, sending glitterbombs to Sega, and buying a Sonic Boom doll just to rip its arms off.

Later though, Chris claims victory in the blue arms debacle, due to Sonic the Hedgehog being his non-blue-armed form in ''Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games''. He says this is the final update for the group, but only time will tell if he's telling the truth.

Ultimately, after six days in court, Chris was found guilty on 15 October 2015 for the GameStop incident and was fined $541 along with a 180-day probation. Thus, the Blue Arms Saga ends (or has it?). Months later, Chris instructed his fanbase to [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|boycott]] local stores which refused his request to be unbanned.

===Lady Managers Saga (17 November 2015 - July 2016)===
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{{main|Jeff/Francine|Johan|Sam and Ellen}}
Between fall 2015 and summer 2016, Chris was in contact with people he vaguelly dubbed his ladyfriends or managers. During this time, he would be trolled by various characters - [[Jeff/Francine]] Ouzos, a thinly-disguised parody and wealthy rival of Chris; [[Sam and Ellen]], a lesbian couple considering Chris as a sperm donor, to whom he showed off his [[Chris's Specimen Sample|frozen sperm collection]]; and [[Johan]], the catalyst for the [[Lesbian Sex Audition]].

This saga saw the return of Chris uploading videos to YouTube after a years-long hiatus.

===Pmurt Saga (25 September 2016 - 20 January 2017)===
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{{main|Pmurt}}
The saga started with a [[September 2016 Facebook posts#Registered to vote|Facebook comment on 25 September]] in where he decried then Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for his anti-LGBTQ opinions and misogynistic attitudes, labeling him "Pmurt" in an attempt to spite him. Many found this comment surprising, as Chris has been historically neutral in politics. As the election drew closer, Chris continued to criticize Trump, seemingly oblivious to the irony that any negative trait he could levy was far more applicable to himself. This saga reached its peak when Trump was elected president. During this point, he would make [[Pmurt#2016|death threats to him]]. This culminated in a one-week ban from Facebook.

On Inauguration day, Chris would make [[The United States of America has NO President or Vice President, Whatsoever|one last attack]]. Although Chris still holds negative opinions of Pmurt, he is not nearly as expressive with his vitriol as he was during this saga. Even when Trump was impeached, Chris gave no thoughts on it.

===Doopie Saga (''7 March - 26 September 2017'')===
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{{main|DoopieDoOver|Planet Dolan|Chris and socialization}}

Also coined by the [[Kiwi Farms]], This saga began when Chris [[2017 tweets#Empathizing with BPD|made a tweet]] empathizing with ''Planet Dolan'' animator and artist [https://www.youtube.com/user/DoopieDoOver DoopieDoOver]. He began frequently replying to her tweets, usually with small talk and the occasional sharing of a life experience, or shameless attempts at flirting.The saga's climax began on 1 August, when Chris pledged to Doopie's alternative Patreon account, "Kittenbell", which handles pornographic commissions. The same day, Chris listed her among his [[Gal pals]] on "National Girlfriend Day", only for her to promptly rebuke him.
Afterward, Doopie tweeted about the harassment she was receiving (from Chris), went to the Kiwi Farms, and leak his private e-mails to her business account. Chris discovered that Doopie had turned on him and desperately followed several of Doopie's friends (including her [[JERKS|boyfriend]]) in an attempt to stay connected. However, he unfollowed most of them when it became clear his plan would not work, while the rest blocked him themselves.

Doopie has not contacted Chris since August 2017; his hopes of building her into a [[sweetheart]] or [[gal pal]] from the ground up, predictably, were in vain. By September, Chris had found a new sweetheart and moved on. Their interactions showed that Chris's immense [[Chris and socialization|social ineptitude]] and creepy behavior have not abated. Doopie inadvertently became the greatest [[Trolls|troll]] Chris faced in many years, [[Heart level|breaking his heart]] and feeding new information to Christorians.

===Quinn Saga (''7 September - 5 October 2017'')===
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{{main|Jessica Quinn}}

Jessica Quinn, for years a [[white knight]] of Chris, suddenly decided to troll him with the tried-and-true method of [[Sweetheart|pretending to fall in love with him]]. Highlights of the brief saga include pictures and videos of Chris crying over a short breakup, an old-fashioned [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|rage video]] following their final breakup (which he initially blamed on hackers from [[Kiwi Farms]]), and Quinn manipulating Chris into adding fat fetishism to ''Sonichu''. This saga would serve as the transition for the new wave of trolling yet to come for Chris.

==Transcendental Awakening (''August 2017 to 30 July 2021'')==

After a period of reemergence from Chris, several trolls soon began to notice Chris' deteriorating mental state, and found it the perfect opportunity to troll him again, this time through the tactic of [[enablers|enabling]] his beliefs and brainwashing new ridiculous concepts into him. This all began with [[Joshua Wise]], an anime-obsessed troll who greatly manipulated him for his own personal gain by changing major parts of the canon of his Sonichu comics, coercing him into producing strange videos, and proposing the [[Polyamorous marriage|infamous marriage]] between Chris and a bunch of fictional characters, half of which Chris had already created.

Chris' new motto to [[Chris and kindness|befriend everyone he meets]], even complete strangers, has also made it much easier to manipulate him. Because of this, many other trolls began to follow suit, using some of the same tactics that Wise had used to manipulate Chris with, with very little questioning on his end. Since then, Chris has started to believe himself to be the goddess of an alternate dimension, dubbing himself and all other residents of said dimension as "[[OCs]]".

===Escapist Saga (''August 2017 - Present'')===
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{{Main|Chris and coping|Imaginary friends|Magical thinking|Spirit possession}}
As a maladaptive coping mechanism against the bleakness of his [[reality]], Chris's belief in imaginary friends and magical thinking drastically increased, one example of him dancing with [[Magi-Chan]] at the 2017 [[BronyCon]]. After the [[Idea Guys]], the [[Teen Troon Squad]], [[Jacob Sockness]] and [[other enablers|other successive enablers]] further fueled his fantasies by validating them, Chris retreated even more into his fantasy world. It was once again re-enforced by the [[COVID-19]] Pandemic due to the fact that it cancelled all the conventions Chris was planning to attend in [[2020]].

===Idea Guys Saga (''25 October 2017 - 29 April 2018'')===
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{{Main|Idea Guys}}

In early November 2017, Chris began blurting out nonsensical stories about [[Sonichu (comic)|his comics]], such as the characters of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia]] invading [[CWCville]], CWCville reacting to the invasion by setting up [[Operation BARBarossa|concentration camps]], and Vladimir Putin being president of the United States in another dimension. He also began making strange videos involving Internet memes and cultural and historical references he clearly did not understand.

It came to light that an anonymous troll, acting as Chris' "idea guy", noted Chris' difficulty distinguishing [[Chris and reality|reality and fiction]] and lack of understanding of history and politics, and began convincing Chris to make bizarre or politically incorrect content. There are signs that the Idea Guy's influence was coercive or deceptive in nature, such as Chris being [[Chris and hypocrisy|shocked]] at his suggestion that Rosechu was [[Homos#Transgenderism|transgender]], and appearing visibly uncomfortable as he performed an "[[CWC-isms#A|anchuent]] [[Cherokee|Cherokean]] chant".

After a calm period in early January, the saga escalated again as Chris made [[Smashing|two]] [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|bizarre]] videos of ranting about Nazis and smashing his possessions. Possibly as a response, moderators at [[Kiwi Farms]] doxxed the Idea Guy troll, revealing his name as Joshua Wise.

Despite that setback, Wise decided to continue being the Idea Guy. His changes to ''Sonichu'' remained canon, with Chris continuing to produce drawings using ideas which Wise had established prior to the dox, and Chris continued to proudly wear the [[Chris and fashion#Gopnik outfit|Gopnik outfit]] which Wise first convinced him to don.

Chris subsequently announced that he was bisexual, and was attracted to [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his own fursona]] and said he had gotten married to [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan]]. More questionable acts such as Chris [[Dick Licker; that is I|licking pictures of Magi-chan's penis drawn on a wall]] and prostituting himself on Twitter were scripted and executed.

In May 2018, [[The Captain]] discovered what the Idea Guys were doing and rescued Chris from the Idea Guys. He, along with [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Marvin]] and [[Null]], then gathered evidence to submit to law enforcement. As for Chris, he disavowed some ideas given to him by the Idea Guys (though keeping the majority of them, like his make-believe marriage).

===Guard Dogs (Summer 2018)===
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{{main|Guard Dogs}}

After the events of the Idea Guy saga, it became clear that Chris was dealing with a [[ween]] epidemic. To combat this, Null and The Captain decided to step in and filter Chris's emails and Twitter to prevent trolls from getting through. Null made a thread on Kiwi Farms showing off the intercepted ween messages and even doxxing the senders.

According to con attendees, Null seems to have recruited some Kiwi Farms users to follow Chris around [[BronyCon]] in 2018 in order to prevent people from talking to him. If this is true, it's most likely in response to Chris's meltdown at [[TooManyGames]] and Null, not wanting this to happen again, assembled an elite anti-ween task force. The Captain assisted Chris when his car broke down on the way back from BronyCon. More elaborate plans were also implemented, including a plan for a field agent to whisk Chris away to assisted living after his mother passes.

Null and The Captain would also attempt to give Chris advice. In particular, Null encouraged him to talk to his therapist about the Idea Guys, in order to fast-track law enforcement involvement, but Chris was reluctant to do so. Instead, Chris opted to retreat into the ruins of his fantasy world. Eventually, it became clear that Chris had disregarded the precautions set up for him and found a new set of trolls to replace the Idea Guys: the [[Teen Troon Squad]]. Null and The Captain's willingness to help Chris has since diminished, although they remain in proximity to Chris online to document and discuss any goings-on.

===Teen Troon Squad Saga (''24 April 2018 - 1 January 2019'')===
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{{main|Teen Troon Squad}}

The Teen Troon Squad is a group of 18- to 19-year-old FTM trans people who live locally to Chris. They gained influence over Chris upon purchasing his porn artwork on [[eBay]] for $1,000 in April 2018.

After Chris was rescued from the [[Idea Guys]] in May 2018, he continued to hold onto the beliefs they had programmed into him. Although he was encouraged to seek [[Chris and psychology|therapy]], Chris balked at the idea and instead sought out more people to feed his delusional thinking - and got his wish in the form of the Teen Troon Squad; around October of that same year, for the second time in 2018, Chris was trolled by people claiming to be his own fictional characters when the Squad invited Chris over to their house, where they pushed his delusional thinking..

In October 2018 Chris began outlining a supposed 'Dimensional Merge' that would take place at the end of 2018, in which the [[Reality Cartoon|real world]], aka Dimension 1218, and its sister dimension, C197, were to collide and combine in an event of supposedly-apocalyptic proportions. Lukas, a Squad member, has alleged that this was a holdover from the Idea Guys, but implied that the Squad encouraged these beliefs in Chris.

In November 2018, several previously unreleased Idea Guy videos, such as [[All Star]], [[Tour of Chris's House III]], [[Chris slaps himself]], and [[Chris lost Crystal]] began to be leaked on Chris's Twitter.

In late December 2018, the Squad was doxxed by an unknown party who logged into Chris's Twitter. One of the Squad members then leaked more documents on /cow/. On 30 December 2018, Chris wrote a Twitter post bashing Lukas, also mentioning that Lukas had wanted him to buy [[alcohol|booze]]. As a result of the spotlight being well and truly shone upon their schemes, the Teen Troon Squad has since retreated into the shadows.

===GOPony Saga (''13 August 2018 - 30 July 2021'')===
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{{main|My Little Pony Protests}}

As the [[2010s]] came to a close, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was clearly entering it's last days. Since its target audience is school aged children it's a common practice by the more competent animation studios to end those shows before it gets to the point that the kids watching it are younger than the show itself. Afterwards, if said show was part of a franchise, they create a new installment for said franchise. Such a cycle has been happening in My Little Pony since its inception in 1984 and has happened once again. Friendship is Magic ended in [[2019]] with a more lite hearted filler series airing [[2020]] as a way to tide over the fanbase until the new generation premieres, which is currently scheduled for [[September 2021]]. The filler series, called MLP: Pony Life struck a major nerve with Chris who holds the belief that Friendship is Magic is meant to have 14 seasons due to delusions rooted in the [[Dimensional Merge]]. This instance, preceded in [[August 2018]] by a panning of the leaked early designs for the G5 ponies were some of the occasional posts of disapproval throughout the close of the decade. For a while it was on Chris' back burner but on 27 [[July 2021]] Chris uploaded a tard rage video demanding that the new My Little Pony generation be canceled, confirming that Chris holds Sonic Boom-esque feelings towards this. The lulz were subsequently cancelled when Chris admitted to incest.

===Soft Exile (''30 January - 25 June 2019'')===
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{{main|TF2 Analysis}}

In [[January 2019]], a slew of people began to block Chris on Twitter, either due to his own harassment or egging on by weens. This caused Chris, naturally, to rage about it, and eventually to protect his Twitter account. For months, he had shown no signs of budging. All of his tweets during this period consisted of complaining about being blocked, or else his dimensional delusions mentioned above. After protecting his Twitter account, he would greatly reduce his social media activity, and in [[June 2019]] even extended to disabling comments again on his [[June 2019 videos|recent videos]]. This period of time also marked Chris's bizarre adoption of the word "[[My Little Pony|Bugbear]]" (a phrase referring to minor annoyances) and employing it almost everywhere in his wild and unclear rants. After several months, Chris's initial bitterness from the blocks seems to have faded, and he opened his Twitter account for the public again.

===Jacob Saga (''14 July - 28 November 2019; 15 July - 26 August 2020'') ===
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{{main|Jacob Sockness}}

Though he had been [[autism|autistically]] obsessed with Chris since around 2018, amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness only made Chris's acquaintance in [[June 2019]], after an unremarkable troll convinced Chris that Sockness would be interested in buying his filthy bathwater. On 14 [[July 2019]], the two agreed to a closer partnership: Sockness would act as a middleman for Chris's [[2019 Sales Listings|merchandise]], in order to evade Chris's [[eBay#Suspension of Chris's eBay|eBay ban]]. The two would soon abandon this scheme, however, instead deciding to direct their attention to another of their shared interests; [[Chris and religion#Delusions of godhood|pretending to be gods]]. Their mystical and occultist schemes would cross-pollinate, Jacob's extraterrestrial demons wending their way into the [[Dimensional Merge]]'s logistics. The most notable example being the [[Spirit possession#Magi-Chan|Magi-Chan possession]], in which from [[August 2019]] to [[September 2019]], Chris believed that he swapped minds with [[Magi-Chan]] in order to visit [[Jacob Sockness]] so he wouldn't need to actually do so in real life. The period of Magi-Chan roleplaying lasted an entire month. Jacob's antics with Chris was not ignored, as soon, [[Kiwi Farms|onlookers]] would find out about Jacob and dox him, but Sockness would not be deterred by a mere dox; for he had apparently already doxxed himself long before meeting Chris, and would boast freely and frequently about how he was misleading Chris for his own ends. [[Slow-in-the-minds|Despite the obvious dangers]], Chris continued to believe Jacob's teachings [[honor roll|at face value]], and encouraged his desire to meet in person. In late [[September 2019]], the situation nearly reached a boiling point when Sockness announced that he had secured a train ticket and was traveling from his home in California to [[Charlottesville]], and threatened that he would [[rape|brutally abuse]] Chris after arriving at [[14 Branchland Court]]. Being understandably alarmed by this, Chris [[Chris and negotiation|demanded]] that Sockness return, and with the help of the [[Watchmen]], arranged for a [[white knight|supporter]] to intercept Sockness in Chicago and provide for him to return to San Francisco. Jacob relented, and the two grew more distant. Sockness would temporarily return to Chris's good side in late [[October 2019]] and early [[November 2019]], yet by the end of that month he would once again be cast aside by Chris.

However, in early 2020, Chris once again started to talk to Jacob, believing in Jacob's supposed [[Magical thinking|occult practices]]. Though it appeared that they were coming close to one another again, Chris's and Sockness's relationship would permanently come to an end in [[August 2020]], after Sockness creepily theorized on [[Twitter]] that [[Mia Hamm]] supposedly bared Chris's illegitimate child after they had sex. Although Jacob would make several other attempts to win Chris's favor over the course of the next few months, all attempts would ultimately be unsuccessful.

===Watchmen Saga (''Late 2019 - June 2021'')===
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{{main|Watchmen|Sean Walker}}

During late 2019, as a new generation of Christorians and [[weens]] began to form, a group consisting of [[enablers]] and [[white knights]] was established through [[Discord]] to gatekeep Chris from potential [[trolls]], [[A-Log|A-Logs]], and the aforementioned weens. Much like many other white knights and enablers, they gained Chris's trust by appealing to and indulging in his delusions, specifically ones related to the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|CPU Goddesses]]. Although not an official name, they were generally known as the Watchmen. The Watchmen would gatekeep Chris through means of collecting information, doxing, and harassing anybody attempting to interact or get involved with Chris. The existence of the Watchmen was not publicly known until [[August 2020]], in which multiple Watchmen members came forward to leak content that they had received from Chris.

The Watchmen would be responsible for and or related to many notable events that took place throughout 2020 and early 2021. Such as removing [[Jacob Sockness]]'s influence over Chris, the previously mentioned August 2020 leaks, being heavily involved in the [[Discord Q&A]]'s, foiling [[Larry Vaughn]]'s trolling plans, and having multiple conflicts with members of [[Praetor]].

However, as 2021 continued on, the Watchmen seemingly became less publicly involved with Chris. Things came to a head in [[June 2021]], as internal conflicts among the Watchmen arose, with a member of the group, [[Isabella Loretta Janke#Sean Walker|The WCT]], being doxed on the [[Kiwi Farms]] by the leader of the group, [[Watchmen#Bismuth|Bismuth]]. The WCT then decided to inform Chris of Bismuth doxing him. As a result, Chris recorded a short audio clip saying "Fuck Bismuth!" before leaving the main Watchmen Discord server while The WCT was being simultaneously banned from it. A few days later, another member of the Watchmen stated on [[Twitter]] that Chris had apparently cut contact with her and several other Watchmen. This incident effectively ended the Watchmen.

It has been speculated that certain ex-Watchmen members may have still had contact with Chris up until late July 2021, although it's likely that all contact between Chris and the Watchmen has ceased after [[Incest|the incest incident]] and [[August 2021 Arrest and Court Case|Chris's arrest and following court proceedings]].



==The Fall (''20 April 2020 to Present'')==

===Bella Saga (''20 April 2020 - 30 July 2021'')===
[[File:BellaSagaBanner.png|600px]]
{{Main|Isabella Loretta Janke|The Suitress}}

On 29 July 2021, a phone call between Chris and a troll named "Bella" leaked, in which he admitted to having had sex with his mother. Although some have predicted that Chris would eventually release this urge onto other people, this understandably caused shock in many long time followers. Soon after these videos were leaked, a set of sockpuppet accounts on the Kiwi Farms tried to do damage control on the "Bella" mentioned in the video. This understandably also made people suspicious about what these accounts were trying to hide. After a lot of digging through social media accounts, piecing several pictures involving a dog dubbed "Max" together with confirmed colleagues, mistaking her troll alias "Kelly Osborn" as the true culprit, and then finally finding a high school graduation video involving her, the "Bella" in the video was confirmed to be a Texas Tech University student named Isabella Loretta Janke, who had a long history of utter maliciousness, ranging from boiling 8 hamsters alive, to literally driving at least one other student to suicide.

It was eventually found that Bella's whole goal in mind was likely to have Chris kill himself, a plan that started as far back as 20 April 2020. The current consensus is that Bella encouraged it to at least a small degree, as it has been verified that Bella has an incest fetish, and told was encouraging of Chris's incestuos relationship in the leaked calls.

Towards the end of this saga a young woman, codenamed as "The Suitress" for the sake of anonymity, and who had a crush on Chris had somehow gotten in touch with Bella, likely due to being in touch with Chris as he also had contact with Bella. She was to attend the MLP convention, [[Everfree Northwest]], with Chris. When Bella sent her the call between her and Chris, despite being told not to leak any calls, she leaked the calls publicly out of disgust of what she just discovered about both Chris and Bella. Bella then attempted and failed to damage control her name by making several of the aforementioned sockpuppet accounts and throwing several of her associates under the bus. This one action from the Suitress alone would prove to be utterly substantial.

===The Dementia Merge (''27 June 2021 - 31 July 2021'')===
[[File:IncestSagaBanner.png|600px]]
{{main|Incest}}
{{see also|Incest fallout chat leaks}}

As soon as the Suitress had leaked the conversations between Chris and Bella regarding him fucking his mother, some serious shit hit the fan.

On 31 July 2021, a day after the calls were leaked, Greene County police were contacted and Chris was removed from his property, with Barb also being taken to a hospital for a checkup. An emergency protection order was also taken out against Chris, forbidding him from contacting Barb or setting foot on his property for a week.

In the wake of the revelations, Everfree Northwest, which Chris had been scheduled to attend, cancelled his ticket and banned him from attending. It was discovered shortly after that Chris had been stealing money from his mother's bank account, which he had the username and password for. Out of disgust, Null cancelled his plans to send Chris the money he had raised to facilitate his travel to Everfree and instead refunded the money to people who had donated towards that goal, also reporting Chris to the police for violating the protection order taken out against him.

Due to the sparse connections between Bella's involvement with Chris during this vile act, how it essentially rounded out Chris' yearning to fuck someone, and how it was the catalyst to the end of the entire Chris Chan saga, these two months are considered its own saga.

===Prison Saga (''1 August 2021 - Present'')===
[[File:Prison Saga Banner.png|600px]]
{{main|August 2021 Arrest and Court Case}}
On 1 August, Chris was arrested outside the Regency Inn he was staying at, and the next day was officially charged for incest. By the end of the month, it was discovered that Barb had returned home, and that the Chandlers' car had been returned to her, with new numberplates replacing the SONICHU ones. As of right now, Chris is being held in Central Virginia Regional Jail without bond.

==The Post-Merge Era (30 July 2021 - Present)==
{{main|Post-Merge Era}}

After Chris's incest was leaked online, the event soon became the 4th trending hashtag on Twitter, which introduced thousands of new people outside of the Chris Chan bubble to him. This would also inadvertently lead to many more white knights, A-logs, enablers, and weens to tracking him down, as most of these newer orbiters had little to no familiarity with his life outside of his affair with his mother and the fact that he claims he's transgender.

This saga can be thought of as the ultimate trolling saga, as it is the end result of nearly a decade and a half of Chris's bumbling, coupled with the trolling, torment, and manipulation that followed from it. Along with that, the mere exposure to Chris's current string of unlawful acts has made many attempt to take a piece of the Chris Chan pie, taking advantage of his worldwide infamy to gain attention from the growing trend.

==The Future==
Normally, mistakes present a life lesson. In theory, the various sagas should have taught Chris the consequences of [[Honest content|oversharing]], [[ego]]tism, [[hypocrisy]], [[naive|blind trust]], [[anger]], and more. Above all, the moral of most of Chris's sagas boils down to a classic Abraham Lincoln quote: '''don't believe everything you see on the Internet.'''<ref>Or was it [[Daniel Weston]] who said it?</ref>

Nevertheless, if anything remains clear, it is that Chris is nearly incapable of applying past events to current ones. The fact that Chris eventually hit the low of having sex with his own mother has most certainly cemented his future, with little to no good coming out of it. Trolls and his current wave of [[Unholy Tetrad|orbiters]] are now the least of Chris's worries, now that he has been evicted from his home, and had all forms of financial support taken away from him after he lied about stealing money from his mother.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

{{Sagas}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Messiah complex

2021-10-15T17:21:22Z

Majinblue:

{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|I do have a job, dipshit. It is literally called being a literal Goddess and protecting as many of your Sorry hides from the casualties of the Dimension Merge, in Progress.|Demonstrating his megalomania<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/March_2021_social_media_posts#Workaholic_comic</ref>}}

[[File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Chris and religion|Chris explicitly invoking his own name as a deity]] [[Spirit possession|while pretending to be]] [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[My Little Pony Protests|as part of his open disdain for ''Pony Life'']].]]

A '''messiah complex''' is the mental state of those who believe they are, or will become, saviors. [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] started demonstrating symptoms of this type of psychosis alongside his worsening narcissism and increase in maladapative [[Chris and coping|coping]] mechanisms.

In the latter half of the 2010s Chris increasingly started resorting to his fantasy world as a way of [[coping]] with the pressures of [[reality]] and, after being influenced by the [[Idea Guys]]' cult-like grip, (who utilized [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|a parody series about video game deities]] to [[manipulate]] Chris), he gradually built up a belief that these deities really existed in another dimension, and copied the lore about them to make up an imaginary counterpart of himself with their powers, [[CPU Blue Heart]]. Chris also attempted without success to orchestrate a [[Dimensional Merge]] to unite himself with said counterpart to gain an array of godlike powers, all as a maladaptive coping mechanism against his bleak life.

Following his arrest in August 2021 and subsequent internment, Chris' messiah complex turned literal. Possibly influenced by the bibles given to prisoners in jail, Chris began referring to himself as Jesus Christ and God,<ref>[[Jail Letter 1]]</ref> even signing a letter as "Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart and Lord of All."<ref>[[Jail Letter 3]]</ref> Chris also refers to himself as "Real Player One" in his prison letters, which can be interpreted as a belief that he is the most important being in existence, if not a sign of full-blown albeit non-philosophical [[Wikipedia:solipsism|solipsism]]. Either way, it can be assumed that Chris views the majority of humankind as beneath him.

==Origin of the Messiah complex==
{{main|Chris and his ego#Narcissistic personality disorder|Chris and coping}}

Chris's messiah complex grew out of two already existing problems he had, namely his narcissism and his maladaptive coping mechanisms.

[[Chris and reality|Since before his discovery, Chris believed he had magic powers]]; he used to curse people he didn't like ([[JERKS|men]]) and bless people he liked ([[women]]). [[Curse ye ha me ha#Yes, he actually thinks this works|Due to trolls acting like these curses actually worked]], Chris got the confirmation that some of his powers were real. He also thought God and Jesus had a special interest in his life and were appearing in his dreams to help him.

In his comics Chris gave himself god like powers to beat up the people he didn't like and change IRL situations where he was punished by authorities to a situation where he won against the authorities i.e, a Mary Sue. For a long time comic Chris and real Chris were separate individuals in Chris's mind, but with the coming of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Teen Troon Squad]] the line between reality and fiction got blurred and he mixed himself and his self insert up.

As he had to prove to the fans that his newfound magic powers were real, he came up with the most rational solution he could think of; the dimensional merge. This helped blow his messiah complex out of proportion.

==Dimensional Merge==
{{Main|Dimensional Merge}}

The Merge is a concept where two dimensions, one where Chris is a loser and another where he is a god are merging where the end result is a single Chris with godlike powers. The Idea Guys created the concept of the merge and Chris immediately believed it because it provided an explanation as to why his powers are being activated after 36 years of his miserable existence.

This was most likely created as a means of [[coping]] from his life where he was the man of the house and had to take care of his mother, pay bills and do tasks he considers to be [[stress|stressful]]. He also uses the merge to justify why he does nothing daily and to give himself hope that things might get better in the future.

To stroke his [[ego]] and get confirmation that his godlike powers are being activated, he made his fictional characters worship him, for him these [[OCs|characters are living]] and their worship is equivalent to worship by actual people. Seeing this, many [[enablers]] also started worshipping him and created a religion based on him to get on his good side. Due to all this reaffirmation in his believes he started thinking he is a god.

==Examples of the Messiah complex==
*Phrases such as "Oh, My Chris Chan!"<ref>[[Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History#Mentions by Chris]]</ref><ref>[[:File:CWC GoPony reaction.jpg]]</ref> and "Chris Chan Sonichu is watching over you"<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/1271137941411299330</ref> – replacing the word "God" with his nickname.

*Asked people to pray to him multiple times.

*Has said he is looks over others lives to make sure no bad happens to them (though one person he was looking over did get divorced).

*Claims to make sure (many) people don't die of [[COVID-19|diseases]].

*Believing that he is straight up Jesus Christ of Nazareth reincarnated.<ref>[[Chris's Letter to Null]]</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[CPU Blue Heart]]
*[[Chris and coping]]
*[[Jail Letter 1]]
*[[Jail Letter 2]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Fantasies}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Sonic the Hedgehog (film)

2021-05-21T23:01:58Z

Majinblue: no longer the highest grossing of 2020

''For the character which the movie is based on, see [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].''

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote| If these Movie People REALLY want to sell me and EVERYONE, In General: Get Sonic’s Shoes and Arm Colour Right, Get Mike Pollock to play Robotnik, and HONOR the Past Source Materials in the Story of this “Movie”.|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1074510066286497793</ref>}}

[[File:Sonic-the-hedgehog-movie-design-2019.jpg|300px|thumb|right|[[Sonic Boom Protests|The horror returns.]]]]
[[File:NewMovieSonic.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Much better!]]
'''''Sonic the Hedgehog''''' is the name of the live-action movie adaptation of the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' video game series, originally set to be released on 8 [[November 2019]] before being delayed to 14 [[February 2020]]. The film is notorious for the backlash to Sonic's character design, and unlike [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris's]] unsuccessful [[Sonic Boom Protests|''Sonic Boom'' Protests]], Sega actually complied with fan demand to change Sonic's design after the initial design was collectively mocked internet for being unintentionally creepy.

==Previews==

Leaks for the then-upcoming movie revealed several drastic changes from the source material. Responding to news on the film in [[June 2018]], Chris used his [[Chris and reality#Sister dimensions|psychic powers]] to confer with Sonic to learn that Sonic disliked the movie, also alluding to his undying hatred of seeing Sonic with blue arms, [[26 December 2014|something that put him in hot water back in 2014]].

{{quotebox|Even Sonic, himself, states that this movie does no good justice for him at all. It’s the “Sonic Boom” video game all over again, but in Movie Form, and no blue arms. My two cents, I would Protest to make the movie BETTER and have the people take a Lot more time on it. ⚡️⚡️<ref name="Jim">[[June 2018 social media posts]]</ref>}}

Sonic did not inform Chris that the movie designers had given him blue arms. When Chris found out from a March 2019 leak, he was displeased, showing that his 2014 viewpoint was anything but changed:

{{quotebox|I agree; and I had already stated the need for improvement/change: SONIC’S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-4400343</ref>}}

[[File:JimCarreyasEggmanleak.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Robotnik's head is not friggin' haired! Change it back now NOW NOW!]]

Chris's animosity with the movie's character designs even extended to Jim Carrey's casting as [[Doctor Robotnik]].

{{quotebox|BOO!!! Carrey does not have the chops to get Eggman’s Voice as Awesome as it has been with Mike. Let Mike Voice Eggman in this movie!<ref name=Jim></ref>}}

When the design of Robotnik was revealed, Chris raged:

{{quotebox|Simply put: NO, @SonicMovie, NO! NO, NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO... HELL F***ING "N", "O".<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/page-1029#post-4640551</ref>}}

The first trailer was released on 30 April 2019. Days later, Chris attempted to reach out to the movie's staff via Twitter (not realizing they cannot see his tweets as his account was in protected mode at the time):

{{quotebox|@SonicMovie, Listen to this dude on WatchMojo; he agrees with me and everyone else about this movie. Delay it a few months and Redo the whole thing.<ref name="may-posts">[[May 2019 social media posts]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWC opinion on Sonic movie redesign.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris's opinion of the Sonic redesign.]]

Chris was not alone in his displeasure with Sonic’s design, as the trailer received widespread backlash for his creepy design. Jeff Fowler, the film's director, claimed they would redesign him again before its release.

{{quoteboxred|Thank you for the support. And the criticism. The message is loud and clear... you aren't happy with the design & you want changes. It's going to happen. Everyone at Paramount & Sega are fully committed to making this character the BEST he can be... #sonicmovie #gottafixfast 🔧✌️ }}

A relieved Chris (attempted to) thank him:

{{quotebox|Thank You for listening. 😊⚡️💙⚡️<ref name="may-posts"/>}}

[[File:VDAy shirt.jpeg|thumb|Chris wore this to the movies alone on Valentine's Day.]]

It's worth mentioning the first trailer prominently uses the song "[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|Gangsta's Paradise]]" by Coolio, though this is most likely a coincidence. As a side note, the main trailer for ''Pokémon Detective Pikachu'' uses the song "[[CWC Holding Out for a Hero|Holding Out for a Hero]]" by Bonnie Tyler, also probably coincidental.

In January 2020, Chris responded to a leak of Sonic's redesign:

{{Quotebox|I am Grooving on this Speedy Track of [[Sonic the Hedgehog (film)|@SonicMovie]]. ⚡️ZapMeUp!⚡️}}

Chris rated the redesign it 9 out of 10 – possibly docking a point for the inclusion of blue arms.

==Release==

General criticism of movies based on video game franchises are not uncommon, with very few exceptions such as ''[[Pokémon]]: Detective Pikachu''.<ref>[https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pokemon_detective_pikachu Rotten Tomatoes] ([https://web.archive.org/web/20190505061721/https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pokemon_detective_pikachu archived version])</ref> According to the BBC in 2001, the genre has a poor record at the box office,<ref>http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/1735662.stm</ref> and [[wikipedia:Uwe Boll|Uwe Boll]]’s attempts only worsened the notoriety of the genre. Quite simply put, many movies based on video game franchises do not perform well because it lacks the interactivity and non-linearity that makes video game franchises like Sonic successful.<ref>[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VideoGameMoviesSuck TV Tropes - Video Game Movies Suck]</ref>

Nonetheless, ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' managed to overperform its opening weekend projections, was met with a moderately positive reception from critics and received praise from fans of the video games, and though it was hampered by [[COVID-19]] leading to shutdowns of movie theater chains worldwide, it managed to be a hit and become the third highest-grossing film of 2020 <ref>[https://www.the-numbers.com/market/2020/top-grossing-movies Annual Movie Chart - 2020]</ref> (in no small part due to blockbusters being unable to play in a large capacity with a public concerned about contracting the virus). A sequel, which will have a more video-game-accurate design for Doctor Robotnik (seen at the very end of the film) and will feature Tails (and potentially other supporting characters from the ''Sonic'' series), is currently being developed.

Chris liked the movie, writing on Twitter...
{{quotebox|The Movie is Really Good; Much better than one would perceive it. The character development, story and other details are worth the watch and enjoyment. You all #GottaGoFast to see the Sonic Movie This Weekend!. Only two flaws: they kept the “Child in the bag” not-joke (cringe for less than a minute), and they left out the “9 Million Steps” line. Other than that, Simply Delightful and Awesome.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts]]</ref>}}

==Fan Videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Trailer But Gangsta's Paradise Is Replaced With Trollsta's Paradise
| video = {{#ev:youtube|fgUbaxJ7-QY}}
| stardate = 30 [[April 2019]]
| maker = I'm Problematic Very Problematic
| subject =
| type =
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Movie (2019) Trailer [High Quality Full HD]
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8CnpZ2K3jbg}}
| stardate = 11 [[May 2019]]
| maker = VvvvvaVvvvvvr
| subject =
| type = Trailer [[parody]]
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu The Hedgemon (2019) - Sonic trailer, but it was made using MS Paint and Sony Vegas.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|XIwxHbQfXtI}}
| stardate = 20 [[September 2019]]
| maker = Artisan A.I.
| subject =
| type = Trailer [[parody]]; uses [[Wikipedia:Vegas Pro|Sony Vegas]]
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu Movie: Uh, Meow?
| video = {{#ev:youtube|A9L5J93Lt_M}}
| stardate = 11 [[November 2019]]
| maker =Otis Le PoOtis
| subject =
| type = Uh, meow?
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu movie full movie for kids
| video = {{#ev:youtube|EKk1gYPTifE}}
| stardate = 10 [[January 2020]]
| maker =#Vinicius Brian games
| subject =
| type =Trailer [[parody]]
}}

== References ==
[[File:Sonichumovieposter.png|thumb|Coming never to a theater near you]]
<references/>

Love Quest

2021-02-23T18:22:59Z

Majinblue: made the l4d2 mod more visible

{{quote|I DO NOT KNOW WHY I would expect ANY woman to be Attracted to me, IN PUBLIC...|Chris, in a [[White knight e-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist|sudden moment of clarity]].<ref>[[White_knight_E-mails#September 2008 — Chris denies being fat and sexist]]</ref>}}
{{quote|... except for the fact that I am Handsome|Well, so much for that.}}
[[Image:Chris-Chan Warrior of Love.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]
[[File:461-AutismFight.jpg|thumb|Chris must fight [[autism]] in order to enter the Valley of [[China]].]]
[[File:Tumblr lg8dq2DmiR1qbc13do1 500.jpg|thumb|Artist's impression of Chris on his Love Quest. [https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=144895676 Yes, the skin is downloadable.]]]
The '''Love Quest''' or '''Sweetheart Search'''<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref><ref>[[Lori Lopez]]</ref><ref>[[Miyamoto emails]]</ref> was the longest real-life [[saga]] of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. His goal was to obtain a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]]. The stated purpose of the Love Quest was to meet the woman who would be his true love, solve all his problems and bear his daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. The Love Quest represented a focused effort to do everything in his power to achieve romantic fulfilment, except of course improving himself.

For over a decade from [[2003]] to 2018, the Love Quest was ongoing, with Chris (unsurprisingly) not having made any progress whatsoever in finding a romantic partner. The nearest he had come was losing his virginity to [[Mia Hamm|a prostitute]]. During early [[2018]], Chris was [[brainwashed]] into ending his Love Quest - he was told that he was [[Polyamorous_marriage|happily married]] to several of his fictional OCs.

==Origins==
===Background===
[[Image:104-GirlfriendAttract.jpg|thumb|right|Spell cards don't work IRL, Chris.]]
The catalyst for the Love Quest was Christian's encounter with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]] (on whom he had a crush) during his move back to [[Ruckersville]], and his enrollment at the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. This occurred somewhere between [[2000#June|June 2000]] and [[2003#October|October 2003]].

Sarah is presumably the first woman of any significance to tell the ever-[[naïve]] Christian "[[So Need a Cute Girl|I have a boyfriend]]"; Chris was surprised to learn that his childhood [[gal-pal]] was romantically involved with [[Wes Iseli]].<ref>[[Story of My Current Days]]</ref> Upon making this discovery, he quickly developed an intense jealousy of Iseli (who he didn't even know) and resentment towards him that would set his state of mind for the impending Quest.

Throughout [[2003]], Chris passively expressed his longing and envy by way of "[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]]" and "[[BFF's (Best Friends Forever)]]". It is clear that Chris had at some point decided Sarah was supposed to be his soulmate (although perhaps not until he learned she was unavailable) and had difficulty accepting that this would not be a possibility. In [[2005]], following Sarah's breakup with Iseli and hookup with [[William Spicer]], he dealt with the situation more openly and publicly in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]] – this acceptance perhaps stemmed from his turn to a new object of infatuation (see the [[Love Quest#Megan Schroeder|"Megan" section below]]).

===Epiphany===
According to Chris, the genesis of the Love Quest proper was his twenty-first birthday, 24 February [[2003]].<ref>Chris misspoke the year as [[2002]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|this video]], but he has elsewhere consistently referenced his 21st birthday, which was in 2003.</ref> On this date, he was kicked out of his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] English class after a dispute with his teacher. (In his [[User:ChrisChanSonichu_profile#Start_of_my_Sweetheart_Search|Wikipedia biography]], Chris claimed the teacher ejected him simply on account of his [[autism]], which of course bears no resemblance to reality: when asked about it again later by a "girlfriend", he deigns to mention that it may have had something to do with belligerently slandering classmates and making racist remarks<ref>[[Jackie Chat 5]], starting at 7:45 PM</ref>). At any rate, while waiting for his next class, Chris sat and cried his eyes out, resenting that there was nobody to comfort him like there was at his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|graduation]]. Shortly thereafter, he resolved that he needed a girlfriend.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Start of my Sweetheart Search]]</ref>

Presumably the connection between these events is that Chris felt hurt and ostracized by his punishment, leading him to recognize his need for someone who would appreciate him unconditionally. However, Chris further states that the Love Quest ''officially'' began in [[2003#August|August 2003]],<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> suggesting that he waited six months to actually execute his plans.

===Salad days===
At some point early on in the Quest, Chris developed an intense, socially crippling [[Noviophobia|fear]] that all women (at least, all the women he likes) have boyfriends. Since his [[autism]] causes him to approach social tasks in the bluntest manner possible, it can be inferred that his initial approach was to walk up to women out of nowhere, and frankly ask if they would go out with him. It may be further inferred that Chris's unrelenting persistence made it extremely difficult for a woman he liked to get rid of him, short of claiming to have a boyfriend. In any case, Chris quickly lost nearly all of his confidence in talking to women and developed an irrational hatred of boyfriends, or "[[JERKS]]" (i.e., all men everywhere except himself and his [[Bob Chandler|father]]). Since this time, he has always specified that his potential girlfriend must be a [[boyfriend-free girl]], which is unnecessary outside of some kind of [[Polyamorous marriage|polygamous arrangement]].

==Conflict with Mary Lee Walsh==
[[Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|thumb|Miscellaneous items used during the Love Quest, or as the Commonwealth of Virginia will eventually call it, Exhibit A.]]
[[Image:134-cwcsonstecrdgirlbck.jpg|thumb|Back of a ''Sonichu'' [[business card]].]]
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

By [[October 2003]], Chris had put into practice what was "the only sensible idea [he] could come up with that was inexpensive": sitting on the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] campus holding a sign that read "I am a 21-Year Old Male, seeking an 18-21-Year Old Single Female Companion." This would be the first of many versions of the [[Attraction Sign]], a vital tool in the Love Quest for several years to come.

Sometime during October, the school's Dean of Student Services, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], confronted Chris and confiscated his sign. According to Chris's recollection of the event:

{{quote|Then in Mid-October, the Quote/Unquote "Dean of Student Services", Mary Lee Walsh, approached me and pulled my sign away from me and told me, "You're NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE." [[Heart level|MY HEART WAS SHATTERED]] that very moment.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 May 2009}}

What is far more likely to have occurred is this: Walsh probably decided Chris was making a nuisance of himself and asked him what he thought he was doing; Chris probably delivered a big confusing monologue about seeking true love, and Walsh then likely dismissed the substance of Chris's response with "You can't do that here." Walsh's point of contention was undoubtedly just the sign, whatever Chris may have to say about it.

Undaunted by Walsh, Chris simply made a new sign, but a few weeks later Walsh confronted him again. In late [[January 2004]], Chris revised his strategy; leaving copies of the ''[[Sonichu's News Dash!]]'' newsletter strewn about campus, each one containing a single "personals ad" about himself. By [[February 2004|February]], Walsh had cracked down on Chris again, banning the distribution of the ''News Dash!''.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], [[February 2004|February 9, 2004]]</ref> Owing to repeated violation of campus policy, Walsh took Chris to her office to discuss the problem with him. In Chris's own words:

{{quote|Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own attack that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of PVCC for a year, and I had to take an [[anger]] management course and see a [[Chris and psychology|psychiatrist]] for a while.|CWC's [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|Wikipedia biography]], 3 [[May 2009]]}}

The extent of the "attack" Chris made against Walsh, whether it was physical or just a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], is unknown, although it would have had to have been something pretty serious to get him suspended from PVCC ''and'' forced to undergo counseling. The timing of the incident is also unclear, but Chris has cited 16 [[September 2004]] as the date of his suspension.<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 16, 2004</ref>

==Conflicts with Jerkops==
By [[August 2004]], Chris had expanded his quest to other [[Attraction Location]]s besides PVCC, such as [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. It was here that he attempted a new tactic, inspired by ''[[Excel Saga]]'': laying a [[Red String of Fate]] across the mall floor. This inevitably led to a confrontation with mall security, making this Chris's first recorded encounter with the [[Jerkops]].<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], August 2004</ref>

By [[September 2004|September]], Chris had somehow learned that loitering in public places with a sign advertising his services as a boyfriend made it look like he was "trying to sell [him]self like a new car," but he still managed to miss the point and believe this was something he could work to his advantage. He continued to have confrontations with mall security until 11 September 2004, when he was arrested, handcuffed, and forbidden from entering the mall without one of his parents. With both of his Attraction Locations denied to him, Chris became more lonely and depressed than usual. In his diary he expressed an interest in asking "Santa Clause" for a girlfriend (according to e-mails leaked by [[Jackie]], Chris was completely serious and believed in Santa until he was ''24''<ref>[[CWC's Diary]], September 2004</ref>).

==Anna McLerran==
[[Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|thumb|''Too bad she's a lesbian.'']]
{{main|The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer}}
At some point in 2004 Chris had expanded his activities in the mall, including:

* Pacing around a lot, playing videos on his Game Boy Advance SP.
* Shouting at walls, or "singing random songs from memory now and then".

He was apparently infamous to [[Anna McLerran]] and her friends by the time he finally worked up the nerve to enter the store where Anna worked to strike up a conversation with her. Anna handled herself as politely as she could while having zero interest in his pathetic romantic overtures, and apparently convinced him that she was off the market.

Despite becoming one of Chris's closest friends, Anna would later document the 2004 incident in a [[2006]] blog post, confirming that, despite whatever good qualities she sees in Chris, deep down she knows he's a few electric hedgehog Pokémon short of a [[Chaotic Combo]].

==Hanna==
On 29 [[March 2005]] Chris (who had somehow regained full access to the mall) momentarily believed his prayers had been answered when he was approached by [[Hanna]], a girl who worked at the local [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]]. She invited Chris to have coffee with her. Chris quickly overreacted to this sudden reversal of fortune, calling his mother and showing Hanna his entire [[Sonichu Scrapbook|''Sonichu'' scrapbook]].

[[Anna McLerran]] later informed Chris that Hanna was simply trolling him for the [[lulz]]. In shock, Chris confronted Hanna and, when she admitted the truth, he ran away screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO!". He apparently made enough of a scene to get himself [[banned]] from the mall (again). Subsequently, Chris dramatized the whole story in [[Sub-Episode 2|the comic]], where he was able to get the last word in exactly the way he could not in real life.

==Conflicts with [[Manajerks]]==
Around [[June 2005]], with the mall becoming a more difficult place to pick up chicks, Chris turned to his local [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], where he would go to the in-store [[McDonald's]], set up his sign and various nerd amusements, and wait around for hours. On 20 June 2005 Chris was confronted by the men he identified as [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]], who took issue with his sign and (probably in reaction to belligerent behavior) called the police on him. Chris hid the sign, effectively avoiding criminal charges for sexual solicitation, but he was banned from the McDonald's. He did not interpret this to mean he was banned from the Wal-Mart, however.

On 22 June, after the first incident, Chris again came into conflict with the B-Manajerk over his [[Pixelblock]] sculptures, and the conflict drew the attention of the [[W-M-Manajerk]]. The Manajerk apparently attempted to discuss the situation with Chris:

{{quote|But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [''sic''] to [[JERKS|any Man other than myself]], because they all have [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none]].” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with [[Son-Chu|my car]], and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.|[[CWC's Diary#June 2005|CWC's Diary]], 22 [[June 2005]]}}

In [[July 2005|July]], unsurprisingly having been banned from Wal-Mart, Chris relocated to the newly-opened [[Charlottesville]] [[Get-Tar Region|Target]], where he quickly found himself in trouble for loitering. Chris refused to leave at first, but when store employees returned with [[Jerkops|police officers]] (including [[Bagget]]), Chris offered to leave if they would listen to a prepared speech. According to Chris's account of the incident, five officers then jumped on him and [[Wikipedia:hogtie|hogtied]] him without provocation. His account is so blatantly fantastic and biased that it's difficult to draw any conclusions about what actually happened; for five police officers to have subdued him he must presumably have been egregiously stubborn in dealing with them.

Indeed, in the dramatization of these events in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], the jerkops need nothing short of a giant robot to capture Chris, and this time [[Sister|his twin sister]] rescues him so that they can destroy the jerkops' entire operation, which of course is commanded remotely by Mary Lee Walsh from [[PVCC]].

Chris has said that he was eventually cleared of all criminal charges related to the dispute at Target. It was apparently at this point that [[Barb|his mother]], in a dazzling display of parental guidance, informed him about two years too late that the Attraction Sign made him look [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]].

==Megan Schroeder==
[[Image:ChrisAndMeganUnpixelated.jpg|thumb|left|''Boyfriend-free no more!'']]
[[File:Rap.PNG|thumb|You gonna get raped.]]
Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] in the summer of [[2005]] and was immediately attracted by such qualities as [[China|her gender]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|her lack of a boyfriend]] and her willingness to talk to him. In Chris's mind these key factors meant that Megan was already destined to be his [[sweetheart]], and the only thing left to do was convince Megan to accept this truth. The Love Quest was effectively on hold from this time until [[March 2008]]; all of Chris's writings during this time demonstrate that he believed he was already in a monogamous relationship with Megan and further Sweetheart Searching was unnecessary.

Aside from Megan's complete disinterest in romance with Chris, the relationship suffered other stumbling blocks, such as Megan's discomfort at Chris showering her with gifts; Megan's outrage over Chris's sexual harassment, hatred of men, and rampant homophobia; Megan's unwillingness to share a [[Megan_Emails,_Aug-Dec_2007#Megan_is_annoyed_and_creeped_out|hypothetical hotel room]] with Chris; and most damagingly Megan's discovery that Chris had to [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|draw himself fingerbanging her]] to suppress his fantasies of assaulting and raping her.<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris does not regret the Meganporn and claims drawing it helped prevent him from doing "something really dumb and stupid"]]</ref> Even though she reacted as any normal human being would in the same situation, he was still shocked that she "broke up" with him and thought that all he had to do was say "I'm sorry" as much as possible.

Chris' obsession with [[Encyclopaedia Dramatica]] was what led to the end of the friendship, since his attempt to blow ED's mind by posting his [[Rule 34]] drawings caused her to discover what a deranged individual he truly was and break off all contact with him. Chris totally missed the point about the fingerbanging picture, believing that its continued presence on ED was the issue, and ludicrously that Megan didn't understand what was going on in it. This contributed to his drive to shut the site down for much of 2008 until people on the [[Internet]] figured out the simplest way to troll him...
{{clear}}

==Internet Love Quest==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's image from [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] profile.]]

After becoming an infamous lolcow thanks to his edit war with ED, Chris began to receive unexpected attention from attractive single women who loved his comics and totally weren't just looking to troll him. Since then, Chris has taken his Love Quest onto the Internet, proclaiming that his TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is whichever girl he's managed to pin down. Chris, or someone impersonating Chris, has at one point attempted appealing to [http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080804202349AA80xDL Yahoo! Answers] on how a "lonesome fella" can attract a boyfriend-free girl, going as far as mentioning his previous tactics and even asking his answerer to be his sweetheart.

With each sweetheart he meets online Chris follows a predictable pattern, demonstrating what he had always intended to do with any woman he met in real life. He begins with a series of proclamations of his TRUE and HONEST love, and then begins planning out how the woman will travel to his home. Chris professes to believe in the rule that sex is out of the question until the [[third date]], but since he expects every romantic encounter to end in total success he makes it clear — in as gentlemanly a fashion as he can manage — that he expects sex at the woman's earliest convenience. Amazingly, as each successive Internet gal pal proves to be a [[troll]], Chris becomes more devoted to the next one, to the point that within a month of meeting Ivy online he began planning his marriage to a woman he had never even seen face-to-face.

When addressing the question of why Chris readily takes each new troll at face value, his own mindset must be taken into consideration. Chris's prospects of finding a girl locally are virtually zero, and he knows this (although he thinks it's because they all already have boyfriends). At the same time, the Internet seems (from his point of view) to be an endless cavalcade of single, attractive women who are fascinated with him, making it an irresistible resource in his Love Quest. By now Chris is fully aware that each woman he meets online ''could'' be a troll, but each time he readily accepts evidence that she is not and dismisses out of hand any suggestion that she is. He does this because he ''wants'' to believe she's real; the alternative is to surrender to despair.

==Returning to real life==
[[Image:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|''The [[Internet]] is so yesterday, Love Quest is always in.'']]
In Chris's final chat with [[Sarah May]] from early March 2009, he claimed that he planned to give up looking for a [[sweetheart]] online, and return to searching for a girl in local [[Charlottesville]]. [[Trolls]] everywhere rejoiced, for this could only mean one thing – a return to the fabled [[Attraction Sign]] and the days of his exploits against the [[Jerkops]] and his other IRL misadventures.

This effort only lasted so long, however. Chris's first attempt at a real-life date, with [[Emily]], ended in tragedy (for him) after the intervention of the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. During the brief [[Rollin' and Trollin']] era in the early summer of 2009, Chris was allegedly spotted prowling Charlottesville Fashion Square in his ''[[Guitar Hero]]: Metallica'' tattoo sleeves, but it wasn't long before he gave up (or was simply banned from the CFS) and retreated back to the Internet.

In late [[October 2009]], after a long hiatus, the [[sweetheart]] cycle began again, with the advent of the incredibly disturbing [[I Love You Kacey]]. Chris initially found success in his campaign to pry Kacey away from her current boyfriend, [[Liquid Chris]], even managing to meet her in person on multiple occasions. Later, though, the relationship collapsed under the weight of Chris's bizarre and disturbing behavior.

The opening months of [[2010]] saw Chris land himself in romantic misadventures both in reality and online. He managed to pry himself out of his room for a while and in the process meet a real person, [[The Wallflower]]. Like Megan, however, she rebuffed all his attempts at a more-than-friendly relationship, and eventually cut off all contact with him. Meanwhile, one of his [[The Hook Cafe|online personal ads]] led to an [[Jackie e-mails|extended conversation]] with another potential sweetheart, but Chris tripped over his duck long before he ever got a chance to meet "Jackie" in real life.

Despite this, Chris believed he had found another way to attract females, this time via the [[Flipnote Hatena]], which is (despite being accessed on a DSi) still on the internet. Between 17 June and 2 July 2010, Chris ignored Flipnote Hatena's "family friendly" policies and attempted to use it like a dating site. A lot of Chris's tags towards the female members were flirtatious to a point, and he even [[For Women ONLY|made a Flipnote]] calling out to every woman he had tagged or tagged him. However, despite the trolls swarming in to attack, non-troll responses were made by girls he tagged, [[pedofork|most of whom were in their tweens to early teens]].

==2014–2017==
Chris made numerous [[OKCupid]] profiles, and has successfully attracted a sweetheart though it – [[Catherine]]. Once her gig was up, Chris began to plumb the depths of derangement with [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|videos]] advertising himself to women of "any orientation", since as a [[Transgender|transwoman]], [[Chris and reality|Chris believes he now physically appeals to straight, bisexual, and lesbian women all at once]].

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris revealed images of his imaginary future wife, [[Lovely Weather]]. In September 2017, he [[September 2017 Facebook posts#Jessica Quinn = Lovely Weather|remarked]] that he had fulfilled his comic's prediction, following his entering into a relationship with his newest sweetheart, [[Jessica Quinn]]. However, this was not meant to be, as she broke up with him early in October 2017. He posted on Facebook a few weeks later saying that he did not need a significant other to define himself, hinting that he may have given up on his Love Quest, but only time will tell.

In January 2018, prompted by the ''CWCSonichu Prequel'' fancomic, Chris gave his thoughts on the Love Quest:<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Thoughts on the CWC Prequel comic]]</ref>

{{quote|I really worked too hard on something I should not have pushed too much on, the “Love Quest”... I Really should have focused more on Sonichu, his life and all of that. Instead, I did too much with myself.

I was more selfish back then. I really regret that I was. It has done a lot of damage to everyone around me.}}

==The Idea Guys and the end of Chris's Love Quest==
{{main|Idea Guys}}

During the Idea Guys saga, Chris's belief in multiple dimensions was exploited and his sense of reality hijacked to make changes to many of Chris's characters, concepts and perspectives of the real world, with him considering them to be valid. Ideas involving the Love Quest include:

*Chris being brainwashed into thinking of himself as bisexual.
*Chris believing he's in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his imaginary friends.

Beginning in [[March 2018]], Chris's already weak grasp on [[Chris and reality|reality]] having been eroded further under the [[Idea Guys]]'s influence, he believed himself to be in a polyamorous marriage with [[Mewtwo]] and three of his own fictional characters.

By [[April 2018]], the Idea Guys had manipulated Chris into believing that he was bisexual. In April, Chris recorded [[Dick Licker; that is I]], a video of him giving his imaginary husband Magi-Chan a blowjob. Two weeks later, Chris flirted with [[Bryanfrogboy]] over the internet. He also began to kiss men on the cheek in public – fan [[Copitz]] in May and several attendees at the [[TooManyGames]] convention in June (leading him to be kicked out).

[[File:Wizkerzz.png|thumb|150px|Wizkerzz describes how Chris immediately declared he wasn't interested in dating her.]]

Chris belief in the polyamorous marriage was so strong that he told Wizkerzz – a female fan cosplaying as him – that he wasn't interested in dating her, and in [[July 2018]], he also rebuffed a [[ween|professed]] potential sweetheart: [[Miss Cherry]]. Showing no further interest in finding real-world [[china]] for himself, the Love Quest has come, if not to an underwhelming yet bizarre conclusion, at least to a long interlude not quite like anything before it in Christory. It seems that, in a sense, the real Love Quest was the friends that Chris made along the way – [[Imaginary friends|quite literally]].

That being said, even in this state, Chris occasionally indicated his disappointment in not finding a romantic partner that actually exists. [[February 2021 social media posts#Message to the faker and hater trolls|In one such post]], he once again blames the trolls for his inability to find a woman instead of making an effort to reach out to someone offline that doesn't involve waving a sign around or loitering on private property. With that post, Chris projected that he had a good Valentine's Day and that all the trolls were miserable, when in actuality he spent it holed up in his house with his mother and pets, probably still depressed about his lot in life.

==Promotional images==
Throughout the Love Quest, Chris produced some "sexy" pictures to attract the ladies. Any success they may have had is not evident.

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0773-CWC23.JPG|You'll never guess what I just swallowed.
Image:0775-CWCCDPose.JPG|[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Way past cool!]]
Image:0776-CWCGuitar.JPG|Shredding some hot licks on my [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]]!!
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|10/10 Would bang.
Image:0778-CWCPin.JPG|Staring at the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] while tanning.
Image:0779-CWCREAR.JPG|Baby got back!
Image:0780-CWCrelax.JPG|Are you craving my delicious inner thighs?
Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|I've been waiting for you...
</gallery>
</center>

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LOVEQUEST
| video = {{#ev:youtube|MC-4GDBDa8A}}
| stardate = 20 [[May 2012]]
| maker = Spelling Bee
| type = }}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = LOVEQUEST 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NWA8iH_emEk}}
| stardate = 18 [[August 2015]]
| maker = Spelling Bee
| type = }}

==See also==
*[[Attraction images]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Hard Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart]]
*[[Story of My Current Days]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Chris and race

2021-02-16T18:58:34Z

Majinblue:

{{Honest}}
[[Image: Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV]], [[manipulated]] into putting on blackface.]]

The '''race''' of people is often considered a sensitive topic, a poor match for [[Chris]], with his [[Autism|lack of social tact and tendency to take pop culture stereotypes literally]]. While Chris doesn't seem to hold deeply bigoted views or have irrational hatred toward people that aren't white (or at least not on the same level as his views on [[homos|homosexuals]], [[Asperger's|people with Asperger's Syndrome]], and [[JERKS]]) he has been remarkably tone-deaf when talking about, or portraying, minorities in his comics and videos. The [[Miscreants]] group of trolls used race as ammo to mock and [[manipulate]] Chris.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of other cultures can also be traced to the television he watches such as the typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon which includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor.

===Blacks===
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply1evan.png]]</ref>]]

Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] include whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|"Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009"]]</ref><ref>In [[IRC (17 December 2008)]], he was asked to describe all the races he would date and he answered, "all but black."</ref> Chris tells this not only to trolls, but to black [[boyfriend-free girls]] in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion." To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's Psychiatric Examination]]</ref>

His stated reason for not being interested in black women is that his dream-prophecy of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] shows her to be white, which means her mother must be white as well.

Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a Boyfriend free girl, much to his chagrin<ref>[[Sonichu Fan Promo]]</ref> – even though he previously approved of a notable piece of fan art with the phrase included prominently. This is essentially accurate; for example, on Chris's profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] he says that "[[Tobacky|smokers]], [[obesity|overweights]], blacks, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|liars]] need not apply."

On the less-discriminatory side, Chris also has stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

Some teenaged black kids frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090620070812/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The official reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these children.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ while playing [[Yu-Gi-Oh]]. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered "I mean your face down monster...."<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090621132756/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

He does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

When Chris talked on the phone to [[Jackie]]'s boyfriend [[Lars]], he tried to bridge the gap between their different races by speaking in Ebonics, including referring to himself as a "nigga" (although ''not'' as a "[[niggo]]") and making statements like, "I enjoy the TV shows I get from the, from the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them."<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>

On 27 [[June 2012]], Chris posted in [[Facebook]] a photo of a black woman at McDonald's who he said discriminated against him, and demanded people not go there, and if they do to "throw newspaper in the damn old bitchy, black woman's face!!!"<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In 2014, when Chris was infatuated with [[Catherine]], he had a romantic rival by the name of [[Colin]]; he sent a message describing the light shining off of Colin's head in a photo as "poo light."<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>

In 2016, Chris was asked by [[BraveryJerk]] what his opinion on the Black Lives Matter movement was. Chris seemingly had never heard of the movement, saying "Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like they’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race or whatever. I mean, I’m for…the,uh…Black Lives forever."<ref>https://youtu.be/LTtBLPH350w?t=547</ref>

===Asians===
{{Main|Japanophilia}}

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin".<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least a neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Native Americans===
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really. (Note [[Semen|the typo]].)]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] unsurprisingly also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize ''[[My Little Pony]]'' dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony clearly based upon himself. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a plastic gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. True Cherokee historically wore breechcloths and leggings most of the time prior to adopting modern styles, and there is little evidence to suggest they owned muscle bras. They also notably did not go to war with toy guns, but instead with bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

===Jews===
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|Chris, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|demonstrating his boundless empathy for religious minorities]]}}

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish, using his last name as a point of reference ("Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"). Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. In a later video ([[Greene County Conspiracy|100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In an email to Katie Bay, he refers to Snyder as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> This probably is moreso a misguided attempt to mimic [[South Park#Chris fails to grasp South Park|Eric Cartman]] than the result of any deep-seated anti-Semitism.

Chris finally apologized for insulting Michael on 31 [[March 2018]], after a [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe test]] confirmed that he himself has Ashkenazi ancestry. He characterized this as a "surprise."<ref>[https://archive.md/NR1Vv]</ref>

===Hispanics===
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Flag of Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Flag of Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]], and then Chris's <s>self-cest</s> children. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women. It also does not help her sentences are random mixes of Spanish and English – and no, not by throwing in a random word or two of Spanish into her sentences, but switching from English phrases to Spanish midway in her sentences (which appear to be Google-Translated).

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominantly speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from the USA as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

===Other white ethnicities/cultures===
Chris has not shown outright malevolence towards other white cultures, but is often ignorant of their customs and nations. In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], Chris plays an Irish song while wearing a kilt and pretending to be Scottish, then mentions a [[Wikipedia:Shillelagh_(club)|shillelagh]].

==Troll manipulation==
{{quote|[giggling] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.|[[BlueSpike]] to Chris.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>}}

In the [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call, [[BlueSpike]] coerced Chris into saying "niggers"; Chris attempted to substitute [[niggos]] instead, but BlueSpike insisted and Chris caved. The term niggos became an infamous [[CWC-ism]].

Chris called [[Surfshack Tito]] a nigger on video<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref> and in email.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]</ref> Notably, he never used the term in this context either before or after his interaction with Tito, who is not even depicted as being a black person, suggesting Chris was [[manipulated]] by trolls behind the scenes into using the word.

In [[Jackie E-mails 14]], sweetheart [[Jackie]] asked Chris to dress up as Mr Popo on video - a character from [[Dragon Ball]] with black skin and red lips. Chris complied, though he was aware the costume would appear like blackface and tried to place a disclaimer stating that "this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus."

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews.|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}

{{quote|Blacks [...] are good people too.|Chris, in the [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|disclaimer for his Mr. Popo video]]}}

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote". Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. He also genuinely likes two black actors: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" (except the ones being black).

==Chris's ethnic background==
{{Wise|he is part black and part Jewish.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref>}}

Influenced by his parent's claims, Chris has long asserted that he is of primarily [[Daniel Weston|English]] descent, with some [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage on Bob's side. However, in March 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] had Chris apply for a DNA test from 23andMe to determine his ancestry<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts#Apology to jewish people]]</ref>, which showed that he was of ''100% European'' genetic background, with slightly over half of this being British and most of the rest from across northwestern Europe. While these results are certainly not completely accurate, it is unlikely that any legitimate DNA test would fail to detect ''any'' Native American genetic background in someone who is even 1/16 or 1/32 (as Chris has claimed at various points) Cherokee.

The test also contained miscellaneous information which the Idea Guys likely used to manipulate Chris into believing he is part Jewish and part African.

The test indicated that Chris had less than 0.1% Ashkenazi ("ash-KEN-azi") Jewish ancestry, the smallest amount that the test considered worth reporting (equivalent to less than a single Jewish ancestor ten generations ago). And, despite the fact that the actual report says that he has zero current African ancestry, Chris was led to believe he did via a section on his paternal haplogroup lineage, which does indeed begin in Africa as all humans can trace their ancestry back to Africa in prehistoric times.

As a result, Chris declared that he was "Fully Observant of [his] Jewish ancestry" and that he was "black too." He also apologized for his past offensiveness regarding Jewish and black people.

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==

Chris attempts to add in characters of various races and religions with decidedly mixed results. Many of his non-white characters are one-dimensional or barely relevant but then again so is every white one who isn't Chris in his world full of rainbow hedgehogs. Virtually all black characters are depicted as criminals, villains, or undesirables. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race-related jokes.

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question. Despite being minorities, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon group never experiences discrimination nor prejudices in the comic; [[homos|that's saved for another minority in CWCville]]. Chris tolerated a [[Niggo]] [[Bubbles]] and Indian [[Magi-chan]] renditions in [[July 2020]].

*[[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (Jewish, good but immature)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (<s>white-washed</s> Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue-eyed but also blonde)
*[[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] (black, evil). A '''villain''' based off a real-life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black; the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half-black, half-arab). A cameo for the sake of a race-related joke. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Chris removed the joke after Obama won the election, but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.
* Blake (black, evil turned good). A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain, but switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] which were uploaded in 2015 [[Blake]] is mistaken as black, being wished a "happy Kwanza, brother" from an African American, and goes on an angry rant about how his skin in not "sunburn color", he is black because of a mutation.
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good). A girl whose sole purpose in the comic is to be rejected by Reginald.
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil). The Big Cheese of the Jerkops.
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Manajerks#Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)|Turdijerk]] (Indian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black police officers who talk entirely in stereotypical black slang.
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker). A homeless, intoxicated, diseased, drug-pushing, expectorating Jamaican with filthy dreadlocks.
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, <s>never seen</s> debuts in ''Sonichu'' #12)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "sistas and brothas".

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and race

2021-02-16T18:57:33Z

Majinblue: added to the Jew section

{{Honest}}
[[Image: Niggocwc.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris in [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV]], [[manipulated]] into putting on blackface.]]

The '''race''' of people is often considered a sensitive topic, a poor match for [[Chris]], with his [[Autism|lack of social tact and tendency to take pop culture stereotypes literally]]. While Chris doesn't seem to hold deeply bigoted views or have irrational hatred toward people that aren't white (or at least not on the same level as his views on [[homos|homosexuals]], [[Asperger's|people with Asperger's Syndrome]], and [[JERKS]]) he has been remarkably tone-deaf when talking about, or portraying, minorities in his comics and videos. The [[Miscreants]] group of trolls used race as ammo to mock and [[manipulate]] Chris.

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of other cultures can also be traced to the television he watches such as the typical [[Adult Swim]] cartoon which includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor.

===Blacks===
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Chris approved of this pic, and said he liked it.<ref>[[:File:Chrisreply1evan.png]]</ref>]]

Chris has been widely considered to be racist against black people since it was learned that his highly specific criteria for a [[sweetheart]] include whiteness and specifically excludes blackness.<ref>[[Attraction Sign]]</ref><ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|"Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009"]]</ref><ref>In [[IRC (17 December 2008)]], he was asked to describe all the races he would date and he answered, "all but black."</ref> Chris tells this not only to trolls, but to black [[boyfriend-free girls]] in real life, that they do not "meet his standard criteria for a female companion." To their faces.<ref>[[Autism papers|Chris's Psychiatric Examination]]</ref>

His stated reason for not being interested in black women is that his dream-prophecy of [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]] shows her to be white, which means her mother must be white as well.

Trolls quickly coined the phrase "No darkies" as a quick summary of Chris's criteria for a Boyfriend free girl, much to his chagrin<ref>[[Sonichu Fan Promo]]</ref> – even though he previously approved of a notable piece of fan art with the phrase included prominently. This is essentially accurate; for example, on Chris's profile at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]] he says that "[[Tobacky|smokers]], [[obesity|overweights]], blacks, and [[Chris and hypocrisy|liars]] need not apply."

On the less-discriminatory side, Chris also has stated that he doesn't hate men who have black girlfriends, and doesn't consider them [[JERKS]], so Chris may think it'll increase his chances of finding a white boyfriend-free girl.

Some teenaged black kids frequented [[The GAMe PLACe]]. Chris picked on them and acted like they wanted to steal from him, hiding his stuff when they were nearby.<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090620070812/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=16855 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref> The official reason Chris got banned permanently from The GAMe PLACe was getting into a shouting match with one of these children.

Chris also once argued with a huge black guy named TJ while playing [[Yu-Gi-Oh]]. When they started talking about how Chris would never get laid, Chris yelled, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" As TJ stood up like he was going to beat Chris's ass, Chris shrunk and whimpered "I mean your face down monster...."<ref>[[Mimms]]' [https://web.archive.org/web/20090621132756/http://cogsdev.110mb.com/pvcc/viewtopic.php?p=17281 archived post] on [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]]</ref>

He does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

When Chris talked on the phone to [[Jackie]]'s boyfriend [[Lars]], he tried to bridge the gap between their different races by speaking in Ebonics, including referring to himself as a "nigga" (although ''not'' as a "[[niggo]]") and making statements like, "I enjoy the TV shows I get from the, from the black man, including [[Wikipedia:The Jeffersons|''The Jeffersons'']], and [[Wikipedia:Bill Cosby|Bill Cosby]], and [[Wikipedia:Sanford and Son|''Sanford and Son'']], all a' them."<ref>[[Lars Call]]</ref>

On 27 [[June 2012]], Chris posted in [[Facebook]] a photo of a black woman at McDonald's who he said discriminated against him, and demanded people not go there, and if they do to "throw newspaper in the damn old bitchy, black woman's face!!!"<ref>[[June 2012 Facebook posts]]</ref>

In 2014, when Chris was infatuated with [[Catherine]], he had a romantic rival by the name of [[Colin]]; he sent a message describing the light shining off of Colin's head in a photo as "poo light."<ref>[[Colin Chat 1]]</ref>

In 2016, Chris was asked by [[BraveryJerk]] what his opinion on the Black Lives Matter movement was. Chris seemingly had never heard of the movement, saying "Uhhh, Black Li – I have not heard of that. Well…Black Lives Matter. It sounds like it’s…uh…maybe people, black people are, sounds like they’re having trouble? But I feel…that, you know, to help any person in general, regardless of race or whatever. I mean, I’m for…the,uh…Black Lives forever."<ref>https://youtu.be/LTtBLPH350w?t=547</ref>

===Asians===
{{Main|Japanophilia}}

In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy Sonichu]] as a [[CWC Fighter|kung fu]] master with [[Wikipedia:Epicanthic fold|slanty eyes]], raised in a dojo. When a fan criticized this stereotyping, Chris claimed that Punchy was "NOT of Asian origin".<ref>[[Mailbag 6]]</ref> Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung fu to Japan, when in actuality it comes from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person, and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]]</ref> In a [[Katie Bay E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]], it is shown that Chris simply does not seem to know that China and Japan are not the same, as he calls the Japanese account Chinese, failing to realize that they are separate countries with different languages, writing systems and currencies.

In his real-life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least a neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

===Native Americans===
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really. (Note [[Semen|the typo]].)]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of Native Americans are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "[[Cherokian]]" heritage with ''Sonichu'' lore. He depicts [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|Cherokee]] characters in his work as white-skinned and blue-eyed, and wearing Ancient Roman-style armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The [[Wasabi Clan]] unsurprisingly also bear no resemblance to Native Americans.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize ''[[My Little Pony]]'' dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous "Cheroki-Chan", a Native American pony clearly based upon himself. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water-washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a plastic gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. True Cherokee historically wore breechcloths and leggings most of the time prior to adopting modern styles, and there is little evidence to suggest they owned muscle bras. They also notably did not go to war with toy guns, but instead with bows and arrows, which Chris [[I AM STRONG|lacks the strength]] to use.

===Jews===
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder!... JEW!|Chris, [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|demonstrating his boundless empathy for religious minorities]]}}

Near the beginning of Chris's [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish, using his last name as a point of reference ("Snyder" is a very common German last name, meaning "to cut"). Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. In a later video ([[Greene County Conspiracy|100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew". In an email to Katie Bay, he refers to Snyder as a "son of a bitch Jew" and a "pigheaded, stubborn Jew".<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 2]]</ref> This probably is moreso a misguided attempt to mimic [[South Park|Eric Cartman]] than the result of any deep-seated anti-Semitism.

Chris finally apologized for insulting Michael on 31 [[March 2018]], after a [[CWC Ancestry|23andMe test]] confirmed that he himself has Ashkenazi ancestry. He characterized this as a "surprise."<ref>[https://archive.md/NR1Vv]</ref>

===Hispanics===
[[File:455-EspanolicAndVegaton.JPG|thumb|left|Espanolic and Vegaton, the only [[Pokémon]] lazier than [[Snorlax]].]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on the [[Spanish]] language, Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a Grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized [[Wikipedia:Sombrero|sombrero]] in front of what appears to be the flag of [[Wikipedia:Flag of Bolivia|Bolivia]] or [[Wikipedia:Flag of Ghana|Ghana]], and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "[[Wikipedia:Spanish fly|Spanish Fly]]", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which, despite being obvious stereotypes, were handled far more tactfully than Chris could hope to do.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the [[Homos|lesbian]] nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]], and then Chris's <s>self-cest</s> children. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women. It also does not help her sentences are random mixes of Spanish and English – and no, not by throwing in a random word or two of Spanish into her sentences, but switching from English phrases to Spanish midway in her sentences (which appear to be Google-Translated).

It may also be notable that oftentimes, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for people actually from Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominantly speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from the USA as "English").

Chris has shown in the past a willingness to [[Joshua Martinez|befriend]] and [[Lori Lopez|date]] Hispanics.

===Other white ethnicities/cultures===
Chris has not shown outright malevolence towards other white cultures, but is often ignorant of their customs and nations. In [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]], Chris plays an Irish song while wearing a kilt and pretending to be Scottish, then mentions a [[Wikipedia:Shillelagh_(club)|shillelagh]].

==Troll manipulation==
{{quote|[giggling] No, say "niggers", you stupid twat.|[[BlueSpike]] to Chris.<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref>}}

In the [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call, [[BlueSpike]] coerced Chris into saying "niggers"; Chris attempted to substitute [[niggos]] instead, but BlueSpike insisted and Chris caved. The term niggos became an infamous [[CWC-ism]].

Chris called [[Surfshack Tito]] a nigger on video<ref>[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]</ref> and in email.<ref>[[Surfshack Tito E-mails]]</ref> Notably, he never used the term in this context either before or after his interaction with Tito, who is not even depicted as being a black person, suggesting Chris was [[manipulated]] by trolls behind the scenes into using the word.

In [[Jackie E-mails 14]], sweetheart [[Jackie]] asked Chris to dress up as Mr Popo on video - a character from [[Dragon Ball]] with black skin and red lips. Chris complied, though he was aware the costume would appear like blackface and tried to place a disclaimer stating that "this video presentation is NOT meant to make fun of the Blacks or the Hindus."

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP 00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews.|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}

{{quote|Blacks [...] are good people too.|Chris, in the [[Song_for_Jackie.MOV|disclaimer for his Mr. Popo video]]}}

Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville "they can even vote". Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. He also genuinely likes two black actors: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]], he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" (except the ones being black).

==Chris's ethnic background==
{{Wise|he is part black and part Jewish.<ref>[[Discord Q&A 7]]</ref>}}

Influenced by his parent's claims, Chris has long asserted that he is of primarily [[Daniel Weston|English]] descent, with some [[Cherokian Clan|Cherokee]] heritage on Bob's side. However, in March 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] had Chris apply for a DNA test from 23andMe to determine his ancestry<ref>[[March 2018 social media posts#Apology to jewish people]]</ref>, which showed that he was of ''100% European'' genetic background, with slightly over half of this being British and most of the rest from across northwestern Europe. While these results are certainly not completely accurate, it is unlikely that any legitimate DNA test would fail to detect ''any'' Native American genetic background in someone who is even 1/16 or 1/32 (as Chris has claimed at various points) Cherokee.

The test also contained miscellaneous information which the Idea Guys likely used to manipulate Chris into believing he is part Jewish and part African.

The test indicated that Chris had less than 0.1% Ashkenazi ("ash-KEN-azi") Jewish ancestry, the smallest amount that the test considered worth reporting (equivalent to less than a single Jewish ancestor ten generations ago). And, despite the fact that the actual report says that he has zero current African ancestry, Chris was led to believe he did via a section on his paternal haplogroup lineage, which does indeed begin in Africa as all humans can trace their ancestry back to Africa in prehistoric times.

As a result, Chris declared that he was "Fully Observant of [his] Jewish ancestry" and that he was "black too." He also apologized for his past offensiveness regarding Jewish and black people.

==Minority characters in ''Sonichu''==

Chris attempts to add in characters of various races and religions with decidedly mixed results. Many of his non-white characters are one-dimensional or barely relevant but then again so is every white one who isn't Chris in his world full of rainbow hedgehogs. Virtually all black characters are depicted as criminals, villains, or undesirables. The ones that aren't so lucky are treated like crap by the other characters or used in race-related jokes.

In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question. Despite being minorities, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon group never experiences discrimination nor prejudices in the comic; [[homos|that's saved for another minority in CWCville]]. Chris tolerated a [[Niggo]] [[Bubbles]] and Indian [[Magi-chan]] renditions in [[July 2020]].

*[[Kevin the Jew|Kevin]] (Jewish, good but immature)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (<s>Paleface</s> Native American, lawful good)
*[[Wes Iseli#Wasabi Rival|Wasabi Rival]] (<s>Caucasian</s> Native American, evil)
*[[Sarah Nicole Hammer#Queen of the Cherokian Clan|Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] - (<s>white-washed</s> Native American, good, probably the whitest of all Native American characters in the comics as she's not only blue-eyed but also blonde)
*[[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] (black, evil). A '''villain''' based off a real-life encounter. The B most likely stands for Black; the name was coined so that Chris could distinguish him from other [[Manajerks]]. This is quite similar to the way American black superheroes were named in the 1950-60s.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half-black, half-arab). A cameo for the sake of a race-related joke. [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] told Chris a racist joke about then-senator Obama, which Chris illustrated within the pages of [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]. Chris removed the joke after Obama won the election, but he probably only did that because he respects Obama now.
* Blake (black, evil turned good). A '''villain''' turned positive-aligned "bad boy". Black Sonichu/Blachu (whose name was later [[retconned|changed]] to Blake) was originally a villain, but switched sides because he's a recolor of [[Shadow the Hedgehog]]. In [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] which were uploaded in 2015 [[Blake]] is mistaken as black, being wished a "happy Kwanza, brother" from an African American, and goes on an angry rant about how his skin in not "sunburn color", he is black because of a mutation.
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good). A girl whose sole purpose in the comic is to be rejected by Reginald.
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil). The Big Cheese of the Jerkops.
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Punchy]] (East Asian, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Manajerks#Turdijerk and Trebor Capman (Accomplice)|Turdijerk]] (Indian?, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black police officers who talk entirely in stereotypical black slang.
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker). A homeless, intoxicated, diseased, drug-pushing, expectorating Jamaican with filthy dreadlocks.
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, good, <s>never seen</s> debuts in ''Sonichu'' #12)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist)|Bill Schwartz]] (possibly Jewish, worked for [[Giovanni]] but later on changed sides)
*[[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|Ching Chong]] (Asian, appeared in the [[Wedding Comic]] as a flower girl)
*PHI Spring Break reporter (Black, appears in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]) - despite only appearing in one panel, Chris manages to make her into a stereotype, addressing the audience as "sistas and brothas".

==Sources==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Sweetheart

2021-02-15T00:09:56Z

Majinblue: added a point regarding sockness

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|A flock of potential sweethearts.]]
{{quote|'''[[Kacey]]:''' Chris, how many times have you been in quote-unquote "love"? '''Chris:''' I do not know, I do not- I have not kept count.|from [[Kacey Call 9]]}}

A '''Sweetheart''' (sometimes '''heartsweet''') is [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s flavor-of-the-month.

==Definition==
Chris's goal is to build a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], lose his dreaded [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] [[Mia Hamm|(which he ultimately accomplished without a sweetheart)]], and spawn his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after "[[Honor roll|the illustrious metal]]" and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]). Unfortunately for him, the plan hasn't progressed beyond a handful of troll-engineered dates, and a trip to a hooker (two in fact). Thus the ''sweetheart'' label finds itself frivolously applied, indicating a status that lies somewhere between "e-girlfriend" and "stalking victim." Contrast this with Christian's [[Gal-Pals]]; that is, all of those girls who are still potential sweethearts because they are known to Christian and don't appear to hate him.

==Qualifications==
:''See Also: [[Sonichu's News Dash]] and [[Attraction Sign]]''[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|It's the one on the left.]]

In the early years of his [[Love Quest]], Christian spelled out his qualifications on his Attraction Sign, in a personal ad that ran for several issues in the ''[[News Dash]]'', and on various other items including a cover for his Nintendo DS. Subsequent experiences would show that many of these TRUE and HONEST criteria could be [[Two's company snapshots|bent a little]], as expedient.

*18 - [Chris's age then] Years Old
*Boyfriend-Free
*Blonde or Brunette
*White
*Pretty
*Average or Slender Body Type
*5' or Taller
*No Smoking or Drinking
*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area
*Has Own Car
*Average to High Income
*Happy, Positive, Caring

In other exchanges, Christian established a few more rules:

*No Children from Previous Relationships<ref>[[Facebook messages]]</ref>
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)<ref>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

==Will Chris ever have a Sweetheart?==
[[File:Chris-chan_010714.JPG|thumb|Helloooooo, ladies.]]

Despite an old Trinidadian saying that goes "Every bread has its cheese" ''(meaning that a special someone is waiting for everybody, no matter how badly off they are)'', [[Clyde Cash|many]] [[Matthew Devoria|who]] [[Jackie|have]] [[White knights|dealt]] with Chris would be quick to rebut the idea. (However, an argument could be made that [[Jacob Sockness]] qualifies.)

However, in case anybody reading this article is curious as to why not, there are quite a few reasons:

'''1) Chris refuses to grow up.''' He is a grown man in his thirties who plays with children's toys and video games all day and still lives with his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Adult responsibilities such as gainful employment are completely foreign concepts to Chris, and any [[Monthly tugboat|money he does receive]] is promptly [[Chris and money|wasted on stupid shit he doesn't need]]. As of [[2019]], this habit has been coming back to bite him in the ass harder than ever as the [[Financhu Crisis|Chandler finances sink into an all-time low]]. Refusing to take responsibility, he has [[Please, Donate|resorted]] [[Donation Request|to]] [[Donations, Please, plus Live Game Stream tonight.|e]]-[[Cwcville Shopping is on Vacation|begging]] [[Donations_Requested,_Please|a]] [[Donations_Required,_Serious._Please_help|very]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_1|large]] [[Reading_"Unicorns,_Rainbows,_and_a_Bluebird_of_Happiness"_Chapter_2|number]] [[Announcement_06292016|of]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|times]] like a child to make up for his failure to put the simplest of money aside for [[McDonald's|food]], bills and medicine. On top of that, he has implied that if he does get married, [[PlayingHouse|all he'll do is stay home while his wife goes to work]]. He doesn't even plan on looking after the kids for her; he'd dump this responsibility on his old, ailing mother. This lack of maturity and inability to stand on his own two feet would be an instant turn-off to any woman.

'''2) Chris has issues that would damage a relationship.''' Autistic antics aside, Chris does a lot of things that upset women. For starters, he seems to have no sense of personal space, and [[Megan Schroeder|several]] [[Emily|women]] [[Kacey|have]] [[Catherine|found]] themselves creeped out by his habit of inappropriately touching them. On his date with Catherine, he made a point of bragging about learning from his mistakes with Megan shortly before he ''molested'' Catherine by hugging her and burying his face in her breasts, after specifically being told not to. Needless to say, had this been a real date, Catherine and "cousin Al" would've [[Kick the Autistic|beaten him up]] or [[Michael Snyder|called the]] [[Jerkops|cops]] at this point. He also [[List of Chris's lies|lies a lot]], and when he doesn't lie, he makes poor excuses for his shortcomings, both of which can damage a girl's trust in him. [[Chris and remorse|His lack of genuine sympathy towards people]] has led to a lot of complaints about him apologizing without meaning it. On top of that, he seems to be of the idea that women in a relationship with him [[Women's rights#In real life|will tolerate waiting on him hand and foot while he plays video games all day, and bear his children]], and enable his [[Megan Schroeder|deranged]] [[Michael Snyder|theories]] about conspiracies and trolls.

'''3) Chris is not self-sufficient.''' As mentioned before, Chris doesn't have a job and has no plans to get one, opting instead to live with his mother. His welfare after room and board deductions is barely over the $200 mark, which he wastes on toys and video games instead of saving for something really important. He also has a habit of landing himself into [[debt]] with his purchases, and isn't even aware of [[Mumble 4|all of the necessary bills one needs to pay to keep a house running.]] He has also [[PlayingHouse|indicated]] that if he becomes a family man, he will be leeching off his wife instead of looking for work on his own (of course, there would be no problem with him being a "house husband" if he knew how to maintain a household - [[Tour of Chris's House|which he doesn't]]). It'll become crystal clear to any woman who learns this about Chris that he is definitely not marriage material, as he has at no point in his life been able to support himself, much less a family.

'''4) Chris has issues with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]].''' Above and beyond Chris's problems with self-sufficiency is the person he is dependent on. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but Barb isn't the easiest of people to live with. Aside from her own [[Barbara Chandler#Mental|personality problems]], she has issues with hoarding, she has many of the same issues with authority figures that Chris does, and shows only slightly more of an ability to manage her money. Many people around Chris's age have difficulty dealing with their parents, but Chris has (aside from his devotion to being a [[tomgirl]]) been shown to be neither willing nor able to stand up to her. As it stands, Barb is another obstacle on his [[Love Quest]] and, if Chris was willing to move out from under her shadow, his chances of landing a sweetheart would substantially improve.

'''5) [[Chris_and_health#Hygiene|Chris's hygiene]].''' Chris does not shower regularly, believing that all you need to be hygienic are a few sprays of [[Axe]]. He also lives in a [[14 Branchland Court|filthy house with garbage everywhere]], and routinely [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|shits himself]]. [[Emily|One woman]] has described him as smelling like 'rotten watermelons'.

'''6) Chris is physically unattractive.''' Chris is not inherently ugly, but his lifestyle and fashion choices have rendered his appearance deeply repulsive. Even before he started dressing like a [[Tomgirl]] (already a deterrent in itself for a [[Homos|certain reason]]), Chris always [[Chris and fashion|had very questionable tastes in fashion]], and would often have an unkempt appearance, as shown in the picture above. When first spotted from a distance by Catherine, she believed she was looking at an ugly old woman. The fact that he [[Chris and health|doesn't take good care of himself]] also hurts his chances of attracting the opposite sex, and has resulted in him becoming [[Obesity|clinically obese]] and [[Hair|nearly bald]]. If Chris dressed somewhat fashionably, bothered grooming himself properly and worked out, his chances with the ladies would improve a bit. In fact, during Chris's stint as a [[Carlos Chantor|male escort]], his appearance was comparatively rather presentable and he appeared well-groomed.

'''7) Chris has no idea how to behave around women.''' Chris has many childish mannerisms and social hindrances that are repellent to women (and men alike). In the infamous [[For My Sweetest Ivy|video for Ivy]], these things are in abundance. Chris thinks that when you talk to a woman you like, you babble and coo like you're addressing a toddler. Also, he thinks that women in this day and age would like watching ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'', an ancient show from his elderly parents' days. One of the first things new people also notice about Chris' room is that he's surrounded by toys and video games, which pretty much scream "manchild", and Chris has been known to post pictures and videos addressed to potential dates in this room.<ref>[[:File:0782-CWCSpread.JPG]]</ref> His recent [[Tomgirl]] antics haven't helped either - he's now a manchild that dresses like a woman, which doesn't even make him seem heterosexual anymore (sure enough, this happened when one of his Tomgirl pictures was [[Chris in the media#Failosophy|featured on MTV's ''Failosophy'']], where the ''only'' person who would date him was the [[Homos|gay guy]]).

'''8) Chris is ignorant and averse to change.''' A feature of autism is hostility to and even fear of change, and Chris is no exception. Chris often believes that, above all else, his way is right, and [[Clyde Cash|anybody who tries to tell him otherwise is a dirty troll]], especially if it interferes with his immediate [[China|interests]]. This kind of thinking can severely damage a relationship where a well-meaning girl is trying to steer him in the right direction, as many trolls posing as women have tried to do.

'''9) Chris is an intolerant bigot.''' [[Homos|He still hates gay men]]. He has shown insensitivity (if not outright [[Niggos|enmity]]) towards people of different races. Woe be unto you if [[Noviophobia|you're ''male'']], too. Needless to say, the only women who'd approve of this stance would have to be outright racists who don't have any male friends themselves, and then you'd have to consider the fact that they must also put up with financially supporting a couch potato who plans to let her do everything for him and shits himself, which would put the total of women who'd be interested in Chris to a big, fat '''ZERO'''. For an example of this and how women would not tolerate such an attitude, consider [[March_2013_Facebook_posts#Gay_Marriage|this homophobic post he made]] (and the replies he got as a result) on Facebook (to truly hammer the point home, Kim, a long-time ''friend'' of Chris's, chastised him for his bigotry).

'''10) Chris has problems with authority.''' Despite the cliché that "all girls love [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|bad boys]]", a sensible woman is going to be put off by someone who is in constant trouble with [[Chris and the law|the law]]. Consider that Chris has on [[26 December 2014|two]] separate [[28 October 2011|occasions]] come very close to being sent to jail for several months; this is on top of his other lesser [[List of places that have banned Chris|brushes with authority figures]]. And it's not even as though Chris's attitude stems from him [[Episode 17#Epilogue|fighting for an important cause]] - Chris is willing to risk imprisonment for something as petty as [[Sonic Boom Protests|the color of a character's arms]]. Even if Chris does find his elusive sweetheart, few will be able to put up with the constant stream of bans fines, and jail time brought about by Chris's [[Chris and anger|poor self-control]].

'''11) Chris is incompetent.''' Chris has claimed, numerous times, to be [[Chris and writing|proficient]] [[CADD|in]] [[Chris and art|several]] [[Chris and music|of the arts]], but in reality is incompetent in pretty much every sphere imaginable. He compares [[Father Call|cleaning his house to fighting in a war]], and even then, [[Tour_of_Chris%27s_House|his idea of "cleaning the house" leaves a lot to be desired]]. One could even argue that it's because of this and his lack of common sense that the aforementioned [[14 Branchland Court|house]] eventually [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burned to the ground]] when he thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee with an extension lead in his bathroom. He has been employed for maybe a few months in his whole life, then was fired, as he proved too [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical and stubborn]] [[Wendy's|to keep even a minimum wage job at a fast food place]], and he simply hasn't bothered since. He is completely inept when it comes to [[Chris and money|managing money]], meaning any relationship with him will be a financial nightmare. He gets himself [[Banned|into]] [[28_October_2011|trouble]] way more times than he should, such as his attempts to return to [[The GAMe PLACe]], where basic common sense should have told him to stay away like he'd been told. So, long story short, ladies, If you were looking for somebody to be the "man of the house", would Chris even remotely fit the bill?

'''12) Chris's past will always return to haunt him.''' Thanks to the combined forces of the Internet, [[weens]], and even Chris ''himself'', there are literally volumes [[Death Threats|of]] [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|unsavory]] [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS|information]] about Chris out in the open for all to see, almost all of which is documented right here. Chris knows this all too well, which is why he strongly discourages anybody from doing even a simple Google Search about him. This was, in fact, one of the key reasons why he didn't even make it to first base with [[The Wallflower]] - a ween mailed her a link to the [[CWCki]]. But even if we were to put aside anything to do with the internet, there are still many, ''many'' embarrassing and undesirable things about Chris that will, in one way or the other, surface that would damage, if not outright destroy a budding relationship - to which this very list can attest.

'''13) Chris doesn't try.''' Throughout his whole life, Chris has not had even one [[TRUE and HONEST|real]] girlfriend. The reason for this is simple: he won't initiate. Chris is well known to have a fear of talking to women, even [[How to Talk to Girls|resorting to a book to try and get over his anxiety]]. While not as true today, men are supposed to play the role of the "go-getter", and try to woo over "the fair lady". How does the scenario play out in this autistic's mind? Stand around with an [[attraction sign]] with [[Chris and his Ego|ridiculous requirements]]. Back in the day, even if a girl did express interest, Chris would've been too shy to even talk back to her. He's a little more confident today, but it's hardly done wonders for his chances of scoring - instead, he'll turn her off with a cheesy, ham-fisted attempt at a pickup line that just makes him look incredibly creepy and out-of-touch. If there was such a girl who could and would overcome these barriers, the odds that she would meet his standards (just in appearance) are about 1 in 100. And if that ''still'' isn't enough, Chris would never stick to his sweetheart. In his entire life, he has barely had any friends, so what makes anyone in the whole world think he is capable of having a girlfriend? If he is, then his habit of holding back on anything that requires effort and no immediate reward (like moving out, getting a job, maintaining a social life, etc.) will inevitably keep Chris from ever catching that one [[I Got A Fish|fish]] out there.

== Present situation ==

[[File:NaiveChrisHedgehog.gif|thumb|right|300px|This is what Chris's break-ups are like.]]

In July 2015,<ref>[https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Sweetheart&diff=188584&oldid=188265 Revision] as of 26 July 2015.</ref> the CWCki originally concluded that no person - male, female or [[Tomgirl Saga|other]] - would likely find him attractive, but there was still a small window of opportunity for Chris to improve his chances of enticing a sweetheart, with a major lifestyle overhaul and some serious self-betterment.

Unfortunately, that window of opportunity has closed: in addition to almost never being employed and all that, Chris has given up on reality with the [[Dimensional Merge]]. What little remained of his chances of attracting a sweetheart disappeared in 2018, when Chris ended his [[Love Quest]] by marrying some of his [[Polyamorous marriage|imaginary OCs]], and then [[Love_Quest#Idea Guys influences|declined]] an offer of a date with a female fan cosplaying as him because of his imaginary marriage.

==References==
<references />

==See also==
*[[Boyfriend-free girl]]
*[[Gal pal]]
*[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]
*[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend Factor]]
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Noviophobia]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Love quest}}
{{CWC-isms}}

YouTube Finale

2021-02-15T00:04:58Z

Majinblue: added link to profanity page

'''YouTube Finale''' is a video posted to [[YouTube]] by [[Chris]] on 30 March [[2009]]. In this video, Chris claims he will be leaving YouTube forever.

While this was the last video he posted on his CChan6789 account (which remains open today), just a week after this video was uploaded he made a new account and [[CWC Update 9 April 2009|made an update on]] [[Cwcville.com]].

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = YouTube Finale
| video = {{#ev:youtube|NBtyA-XX0C4}}
| stardate = 30 [[March 2009]]
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{BrownLogoShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Secret Weapon#Video|Secret Weapon]]
| next = [[CWC Update 9 April 2009#Video|CWC Update 9 April 2009]]
}}

{{quote|As for those who despise me? Justice will be served.}}

=== Transcript ===

[[Clyde Cash|Clyde]], you are a liar...[''removes glasses dramatically''] and a vicious [[Chris and English#Profanity|son of a female dog]]! [''[[sigh]]s'']

Anyway, nothing you do will stop me finding my true love. And I ''swear'' from hand of [[Chris and religion|God]] that you will see justice. I am going to turn you in to the police, and if you and I should ever meet in public--''even at the police station''--I swear to God I will...beat you up. I will punch [''mimes throwing a punch''] your lights out.

This'll be the last video I upload to YouTube, but my...''inspiration'' shall continue. My, to my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|loyal fans]]: thank you for your patience. They will continue to be rewarded. As for those who despise me? [''[[claw of fail]]''] ''[[Death threats|Justice will be served.]]''

Peace. [''makes a peace sign, realizes that his hand is facing the wrong way and quickly flips it around'']

==See also==
[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Secret Weapon]]|nextlink=[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}

{{Clyde Saga}}
{{Videos about leaving the Internet}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, March 2009| 2009-03-30]]
[[Category: Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-03-30]]