CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and the law

2010-11-22T22:43:51Z

Manspider:

[[Image:116-CWCCop.jpg|thumb|Chris aways keeps an eye out for criminal scum who would dare steal [[Sonichu]].]]

'''Laws''' are rules set up to help keep citizens in check. They are usually enforced by [[Jerkops|the law enforcement]] of that area and penalties are placed on those who don't follow the laws.

For [[Chris]], however, these just serve as another deterrent in his quest for [[china]].

==Understanding==
{{quote|I have been giving him reasons since the police came in June of [[2008]], and nothing has sunken into that [[Hello, Juffalo|clown head]] of his.|[[Michael Snyder]]}}

[[Image:Impliedshooting.jpg|thumb|left|Chris implying guns are the answer.]]

Like his grip on [[Chris and reality|reality]], Chris's understanding of the law is uneasy at best. He regularly threatens trolls with legal action, and makes no distinction in severity between a troll threatening violence against Chris and a troll uploading a harmless picture of [[Rosechu]] with a [[pickle]] to the internet. As a matter of fact, Chris himself is prone to making [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|extremely violent threats]], such as threatening to murder [[Vivian]] and her entire family because of the [[audiobooks]]. He's done everything from calling the police to convincing his father to write to then-[[George W. Bush|President Bush]] in an attempt to get rid of his [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He has even attempted (poorly) to impersonate the President in a hilarious attempt to convince the trolls at ED to take down his page.<ref>http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php?title=Chris-chan&diff=prev&oldid=1997405266</ref> He's even attempted to contact current [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] to stop people from posting gay ads! Chris also believes that the laws in [[CWCville]] and the laws stated in [[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] should be enforced ''in real life.''

Chris himself doesn't have much respect for laws and rules, at least when [[Chris and hypocrisy|their enforcement inconveniences him]]. During his time at [[Get-Tar Region|Target]] he didn't see anything wrong with exploiting the free refill policy and loitering for hours at a time in a privately-owned establishment while harassing female customers and apparently [[Attraction Sign|soliciting sex]]. Chris feels that his [[Virgin with Rage|emotional state]] entirely justifies his actions at times, stating in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]] that he should be excused for disturbing the peace by literally shouting "[[Sonichu 1#Sub-Episode 2: Christian Chandler in "The Rise & Fall of My Heart"|NOOOOOOO!]]" loudly in the middle of a crowded mall.

Self-contradictory to a fault, though, Chris is happy to meticulously follow some laws while ignoring others at the same time. In [[Sonichu Special 4]], his cartoon avatar makes a point of obeying the exact speed limit... while on his way to confront [[CChanSonichuCWC]] and commit assault with a deadly weapon upon him. Any intelligent and decent person could tell you which of these laws is more important, but Chris is neither intelligent nor decent. In [[05142010|a May 2010 video]], Chris states that a man deserves twenty years in prison for brutally beating his girlfriend to death with his bare hands, which is just twice the penalty he wants for smoking.

In addition, Chris has very little respect for [[Jerkops|those who enforce the law]]:

{{quote|Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha]]s.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off. |Excerpt from Chris's [[CWC's Diary|diary]]}}

The above quote pretty much defines Chris's attitude towards law enforcement officials. He feels that it is completely appropriate to flip off, insult, and lie to people who are simply doing their jobs. And, of course, as any rational person (i.e., anyone who's not Chris) would understand, running away from law enforcement officials is a seriously bad idea. Chris is truly a rebel without a cause or effect.

The [[Jackie e-mails Part 2#Chris_lies_about_The_Game_Place|correspondence with Jackie]] revealed that in the trial on the Target incident, Chris thought that his work with the [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris_the_TCG_gamer|Pokémon TCG League]] let him off the hook. In reality, the court probably acquitted him either on a technicality or insufficient evidence. Chris probably mentioned the volunteer work because he believed a person's merits, no matter how unrelated, would automatically make one innocent of all charges. It is also telling that he recounted the charge as "Soliciting", whereas the actual charge was "Disorderly Conduct"; he feels that he was only persecuted because of his [[Love Quest]] efforts, and not because he was tard raging.

==Law troubles==
On 11 September [[2004]], Chris was detained at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]] for loitering, and continually arguing with the staff over a number of months. The incident is depicted in [[Sub-Episode 1]]. Chris was banned from returning to the mall on his own and without his parents' company. However, it appears that this ban was lifted or ignored soon afterward.

On 20 July [[2005]], Chris was charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing at Target,<ref name="Criminal Searches">[http://www.criminalsearches.com/details.aspx?id=w1x00xC8&vw=criminal&1=Wpem9DAEtHH%2fFwSXuzfStJ2LvpHgv1YXUU3kPiyr3%2fQ%3d&input=name CriminalSearches.com], which has the Virginia Administrative Office of the Courts as their source</ref> as depicted in [[Sub-Episode 7]] and [[Sub-Episode 8]]. After two hearings,<ref name="Criminal Searches" /><ref>[[MySpace#Lindsay]]</ref> prosecutors chose to drop the case and Chris was not punished.

Five days later, Chris caused an auto accident when he followed another car too closely and rear-ended it. This went to court on 12 September 2005.<ref name="Criminal Searches" /> He was fined $30 and had to pay $56 in court costs.

Chris's various run-ins at [[The GAMe PLACe]] have resulted in the cops being called on him a couple times. At least once after Chris called in his parents after he was initially banned from the location and tried to weasel his way back in, and again when he [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|trespassed on the property]], though he wasn't charged with anything on either occasion.

On 4 [[June 2010]], Chris made yet another pilgrimage to The GAMe PLACe. Chris was armed with his camera, and while Mike was concerned that Chris wanted pictures of his daughter for [[Mass Debating|disturbing reasons]], Chris maintains that he merely wanted a picture of Mike [[Death threats|for use as a dartboard]]. Still disturbing, but in entirely different ways. Chris was caught in the parking lot despite trying to run away, and was questioned by the police, who made him delete the pictures he had taken, and basically told him to quit his shit. Chris made his [[6 June 2010]] video in response to these events.

==Chris's parents and law==

It's not hard to figure out why Chris thinks the law should serve him and him alone. His parents, too, have the same problem.

* When Chris was thrown out of the [[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Cub Scouts]] after an unknown incident, his parents attempted to sue the [[Wikipedia:Boy Scouts of America|Boy Scouts of America]] for [[Kick the autistic|discrimination]].<ref>[[Mailbag 18]]</ref>
* When Chris threw a tantrum that required him to be restrained, Bob attempted to sue the school.
* When [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] took a picture of Chris and uploaded it to the Internet, Chris's parents threatened them with legal action (but never followed through).
* When [[Snorlax]] thought she had indigestion (actually [[Wikipedia:colitis|colitis]]), she acted like she was going to sue the Chinese place the food came from. When the doctor actually explained what happened, she dropped the subject.
* Chris inherited his love of running from problems - when his parents had their absurd case against Greene County used against them, their first reaction was to run to another county.
* When [[Asperchu|Alec]] called the Chandler household posing as [[Game Place]] employee Matthew Nobel, they claimed that taking pictures of somebody without their knowledge or consent was "Not illegal." It is ironic, given that they threatened to sue Mimms and Lucas for exactly the same thing.
* During that same call, Bob seems to completely disregard the concept that an individual can be barred from private property, saying, "it's a business place," as though that has any more bearing on the law and how it affects his son than, say, the color of the store's walls.

==Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws==
[[Image:AL cover.gif|thumb|Where Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL laws come from.]]
As he believes the police in real life are corrupt and sees them in the same light as he sees the [[jerkop]]s in his comic, Chris has his own spin on the law. The penalties for [[Alcohol|drinking]], [[Tobacky|smoking]] and [[troll|internet harassment]] involve physical violence including a "Kick in the Teeth" which Chris portrays as a punch in [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008|the only one]] of his supposed series of Q&A videos.

On [[December 2009|New Year's Eve, 2009]], Chris presented a nice babble about a law he wants made to prevent [[Jack Thaddeus]] from using adspace he paid for.

{{quote|I Have The Instinct, and I Have Already [[CWC-ism|Snail-Mailed]] President Barack Obama on how this sort of bad advertisement is going on and how it is Wrong and should be made Illegal. On HOW if the Main Captain does not WANT or IS OFFENDED with the listed Ads within his own Website or Works, REGARDLESS of who controls the AdSpace, WOULD REMOVE THOSE ADS or face JAILTIME. And the F.B.I. would be FULLY INVOLVED in all this, and THEY have the Power, Tools and Balls to seek, hunt down and bring in the Individual Internet Trolls and Ad-Spammers.|Chris, [[Chris and his Ego|Thinking he's important]]}}

Yes, you heard it right. Chris wants to ask the President of the United States to make [[Chris and Reality|advertisements he doesn't like illegal.]] From a practical standpoint, CWCipedia is the only wiki that has a "Main Captain." This "Main Captain" does literally nothing to run or maintain the site at all. Furthermore, if someone paid for adspace, the host that received the money must allow the purchasing party to use said adspace for the allotted time, no matter what they advertise, or the host faces legal penalties. And last but not least, the President has better things to do than slap laws on wikis. It also escapes Chris's mind that the President doesn't make law. He would have had a better chance if he had mailed his congressman. He of course, will never bother.

This attitude is also reflected on his relationship with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. [[2003|Years ago]], she interrupted Chris in what looked like [[Love Quest#Conflicts with Mary Lee Walsh|soliciting for sex]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Hilarity ensued]] and Chris received a well-deserved [[Autism papers|time-out]] for [[Chris and anger|his antics]]. Fast-forward in [[2009]] when Chris, [[One Blessing, and One Curse|out of the blue]], decides to make peace. He went to her office and left her a [[:File:Apology_to_Mary_Lee.jpg|"Framed Hand-Drawn Apology"]] on her doorsteps. Knowing Chris's attitude, she filled a trespassing notice. In pure stalker logic, Chris said that since he didn't read the letter and returned it to the sender, [[Mailbag 26#Mary Lee Walsh trolls IRL|he's not legally liable]].

[[Mailbag 55#Draconian fun!|Mailbag 55]] posits a few more original laws: one, that it should be illegal for men to ever show their bare chest (because, according to Chris, no one in the entire world ever wants to see a man's bare chest, no matter what shape he's in). He also wants to force all women in any kind of relationship to wear rings, thus defeating all symbolism and significance of them.

Due to Chris being forced away from the Internet, Chris has begun to formulate a new law, the "Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing," starting with his second [[Flipnote Hatena|Flipnote]], [[Don'tGetTrolled!]]. What this entails is unknown, but by the sounds if it, he wishes for a law where no one can ever speak up against anyone in a negative tone, thus allowing Chris to continue to have his e-peen stroked while the trolls can't touch him. While there have been laws that punish those that lead to others being harmed via the Internet, the Bill for Anti Online Bad-Mouthing is one of the ridiculous ideas ever, as it leads to a complete and utter smashing of the Bill of Rights, specifically Freedom of Speech.

TL;DR: Chris ignores the law when it's inconvenient, yet expects it to save the day when the [[Autism]] card doesn't work.

==In the comic==

Chris's understanding of the law in his comics goes so far as to been seen as a mixture of childish tendencies and, some might say, authoritarianism. In [[CWCville]], Chris has banned a number of things in his city. Smoking or drinking alcohol would lead one to be either sentenced to ten years in prison or a much more lenient US$1,500 fine (although, as CWCville uses C-Quarters and W-Quarters for currency, it's not clear why fines are levied in US dollars).<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> However, it should be noted that Chris [[Rollin' and Trollin'|repealed the law]] in [[June 2009]].

Even stranger is the the fact that the city tends to lack other races or even other sub-cultures, beyond Chris, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], a handful of (white) males and females, and the few Transformers in his town. This lack of diversity leads many to think that Chris has banned them as well. The Rosechus tend to fight for [[women's rights]], that is to say, the ability to strip naked whenever and wherever they want to, not to mention the fact that full legal rights for women are already established across the US, suggesting that Chris has imposed discriminating laws against women in CWCville.

Chris has been seen as a do-nothing Mayor, preferring to have [[Allison Amber|his secretary]] do all the work (as per his thoughts on women) while he goes off on another one of his sweetheart searches. He has mandated "[[Dating Education]]" classes for students so that they can learn to go on dates, as well as how to "stay straight."

[[List_of_Sonichu_characters#Constables_Gerald_Grant_and_Louis_Perez|Actual police officers]] did not appear until [[Sonichu 10|quite late]] and even then, they did nothing whatever, giving the impression that Chris and his Pokémon abominations are the only thing standing in between peace and eternal virgins with rage. However, [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] seems to reveal that there are three sets of "other" protectors: a (possibly) nondescript police force (distinct from [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s [[jerkops]]), as well as his own team of [[Power Rangers]] and a team of [[Transformers]].

{{quote|Is CWCville under Martial Law? |[[Jack Thaddeus]] citing the truth as he sees it}}

It gets even scarier. In a conversation that [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call 3|Chris had with Jack Thaddeus]], he reveals that CWCville is the home of a paramilitary force equipped with tanks which he uses as a "Police Force", and all his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon enjoy immunity from prosecution and are above the law. If we add all this to the fact that there are no free elections in CWCville, this shows us the city in the hands of a dictator running it with an iron fist, and backed with super-powered goons who are free to do any atrocity with impunity. According to Chris, Magi-Chan mentally scans the city perimeters for any sexual acts, and reports any homosexual activity to the authorities. The participants are then [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|"tried and fined HEAVILY; $500 or 50 Hours of Community Service"]]. Apparently in CWCville, the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution]] does not apply in matters of personal sexual choice. This might put him at odds with [[Chris and sex#Pedophilia|his own sexual ideals...]]

In a strange [[Chris and hypocrisy|set of double standards]], Chris has been shown to injure, kill, or damage people and property ''outside of CWCVille''. [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] has shown no less than three grievous acts upon others: the destruction of the 4-cent_garbage building, the murder of over one hundred alleged "trolls" in said destruction, breaking and entering, and destroying Internet files and property.

Following the death of [[Simonla]], the culprits (Alec, Mao, Sean and Evan) are subjected to a show trial, and given no defense attorney by the state (violating the [[Wikipedia:Sixth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Sixth Amendment]]) forcing Sean to act as their lawyer despite being high as a kite. There is no solid evidence presented for the murder charge, aside from the Voltorb remote (which the prosecutor never tried to prove belonged to them) and wholly unreliable "psychic evidence" extracted by Magi-Chan. When they're railroaded and found guilty, they're ''killed by the people they've wronged'' (read: murdered brutally by cartoon characters), in a gross violation of the [[Wikipedia:Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Eighth Amendment]] forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Demonstrating Chris's limited understanding of trials (as his knowledge of trials stems purely from television), the kangaroo court integrates both elements of civil and criminal trials. The Asperpedia Four are not only prosecuted for murder by a [[Marvey Blaziken|state attorney]], as per a criminal trial, but also charged with defamation of character, libel, and copyright infringement (as well as several charges such as "profanity to the max" that would hold no water in an actual court) by Chris and his cohorts, as per a civil trial. Surely enough, Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu are sitting in a bench marked "PLAINTIF" [''sic'']. That both civil and criminal charges are included in one trial not only demonstrates a poor understanding of the courtroom process, but is further proof that Chris considers "slanderous mockeries" and other torts on par with major crimes such as murder and assault. To add to the equation, one cannot be given a death sentence (or any sentence, for that matter) for being guilty in a civil trial, but in the Asperpedia Four trial civil charges are the primary reason for the death sentence. In summary, the CWCville court system is a constitutional nightmare that violates multiple articles and amendments, and has no concept of due process. One must wonder why it is allowed to exist within the borders of the United States.

tl;dr: Any semblance of law in CWCville exists solely to further the wishes of its tyrannical (and murderous) Mayor.

==See also==
*[[Parody]]
*[[Jerkop]]
*[[Manajerk]]

==Sauces==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

LittleBigPlanet

2010-11-14T18:37:24Z

Manspider:

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Image:LittleBigPlanetOfficialUKBoxArt.png|thumb||Sometimes free advertising isn't the best advertising.]]
[[Image:Stephen fry.jpg|thumb|right||[[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], ''LittleBigPlanet'''s narrator and the very antithesis of Chris in many respects, being that he is intelligent, witty, successful, handsome, wealthy and charming, as opposed to a [[Chris|bumbling moron]]. While they are both gay men, Fry does not engage in self-loathing closet dwelling.]]

'''''LittleBigPlanet''''' (or "Little Pig Blanket" coming from [[Chris]]'s [[Speech impediment|marble-filled mouth]]) is a critically acclaimed platformer game, released exclusively for [[Sony]] platforms, the [[PS3]] and [[PSP]]. It is basically a [[autism|nice, cheerful, soft-to-touch, vibrant-colored]] side-scrolling action game which allows players to craft custom levels.

While the game had a very promising start, tiny storm clouds started to gather when Chris got his [[Claw of Failure|claws]] on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' beta, and started posting videos that showed his ''enthusiastic'' approval of the game and his [[fail|amazing custom levels]]. Chris, being an enthusiastic fan of the game, fancies himself an LBP spokesman, while failing to realize that neither his reputation nor his promotional activities actually help convince people that ''LBP'' is worth playing.

==Chris and LBP==

[[Image:Lbpsucks.JPG|thumb|Sackboy says: The rumors that the only game worth playing on PS3 is on other consoles too are completely true. Get it now.]]

Chris is a huge fan of ''LittleBigPlanet''. He participated in the beta test in the fall of 2008, and was very annoyed that he had to take a ''whole week-long break'' between the beta's expiration and the official release of the retail version.<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008]]</ref> He was also terribly concerned about whether or not his creations from the beta would still work in the real game. When ''LBP'' was released, Chris disappeared from the Internet for the better part of two months in [[November 2008|November]] and [[December 2008]]. The game's main character, "Sack Boy", has appeared in several ill-placed adverts throughout his comics (most prominently in the preview for [[Sonichu 10]], which was released before the blackout). Chris has every available trophy for the game in his [[PlayStation Network]] trophy case, although in December 2009, he was briefly short some unlockable trophies due to an update that added new ones.

The biggest reason Chris latched onto ''LittleBigPlanet'' was that it let him make ''[[Sonichu (game)|Sonichu: The Game]]''. Seriously, that's all he ever wanted. Before the arrival of the ''LBP'' level editor, no game development platform was sufficiently idiot-proof — more complex development systems, after all, make unreasonable demands like ''learning something about game design''. With ''LittleBigPlanet'', everyone can mash a level together! Or so the theory goes...

The title is also a widely-touted PlayStation exclusive, often cited by console-warring fanboys in their attacks the [[Hex Bawx]], which is possibly another reason Chris likes it so much. Since Chris has no idea what porting a game to different platform usually entails, however, he thinks that pirates made versions of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for the [[Wii]] and [[Hex Bawx|Xbox 360]] before the game was even out, and condemned these vile bastardizations before even finding out if they ''actually'' exist.

Not everything is rosy in Chris's ''LittleBigPlanet'' world, though. He has had problems saving his profile, because he has collected so much stuff - and there is a certain limit on how many level-creation widgets the player character can carry or stuff into a level at any given time. In response, he created "collector's cases" to help him store all his crap. In [[Chris-chan Discusses...|the ScrewAttackEurope interview]], he hoped that there would be "expandable memory usage" to allow him to save more junk. (All this is not entirely surprising, considering how much junk he and his family keeps around in real life, too.) In the same interview he also expresses the hope that he could transfer some of the collected stuff to the PSP version of ''LittleBigPlanet'' as well. (We all know his opinion on giving away his material possessions, don't we?) He was also [[F Abstinance#Description|unhappy with the Sonic the Hedgehog DLC]] (likely because it made it marginally difficult for him to create his [[Sonichu|horrid abominations]] in-game). As he knows absolutely nothing about how videogames work, he demands that the parts be completely redone to match his own moronic concepts.

In yet another example of irony flying right over Chris's balding head, his favorite video game is narrated by [http://www.stephenfry.com/ Stephen Fry], a well-known [[homo|homosexual]] and enthusiastic gay rights advocate. (He's also a successful author, actor, comedian, narrator for classic literature and film, and proponent of the supremacy of science, as opposed to [[GodJesus|theism]], making him something close to the Platonic anti-Chris.)

==Chris vs. Sony vs. the LBP Community==

Sony and Chris have become best friends and worst enemies over ''LittleBigPlanet''. Late in 2008, Chris's "[[PS3 History Level|PS3 History]]" videos were featured on the the game's main page. Plenty of lulz were to be had on the site's forums, when [[troll]]s began to link and post the many [[Nudes|NOODZ]] of the level's creator.

Sony Europe pulled his [[Sonichu]] levels several weeks later under grounds of "Copyright Infringement." Some say Chris was just one of the casualties of a larger effort to curb widespread and blatant copyright infringement, while others argue the whole forum furore was, indeed, the ''casus belli'' of Sony's latest attack against their customers. The deletion made Chris go off on a pointless butthurt crusade to have his levels re-archived, to no avail.

Several videos that Chris posted were addressed to the ''LBP'' community at large. See most of his ''LBP'' videos, the "Collector's Case" videos in particular, for several good examples. In [[Download For Play Only]], Chris also begged the ''LBP'' community to not modify copies of his level, even though the game allows it.

===On costumes===
[[File:SonicLBPCostumes.jpg|thumb|The costumes that failed to meet Chris's specifications...]]
[[File:SonicCostumeWhining.jpg|thumb|...and Chris's subsequent bitching]]

Much later, in [[March 2010]], Sony released a DLC pack of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] costumes for ''LBP''. While one would think that something like this would fill the Sonic-obsessed Chris with joy, Chris was deeply disappointed with the release, because it didn't help him make [[Sonichu]]. Not content to wallow in misery alone, Chris let Sony know how he felt by posting the following rant to LittleBigWorkshop. In classic Chris style, his only contribution to the community is to bitterly whine about something that nobody else cares about, and his only demand to game developers is to ask for something that would benefit him alone.

{{quotebox|I waited long for something like this sweet Sonic Costume Set to BEST put together my Sonichu Costume for my Sackperson. But I am disappointed on a few things about the Sonic and Werehog costumes that CAN BE FIXED IN AN UPDATE.

Firstly, the respective Headdresses; I was expecting the Spikes and the Ears to be TWO SEPERATE PIECES: Spikes for Hair and Ears for Head. With the two merged together into a HEAD Piece, I can not have the Bunny Ears Required to make the Ears REQUIRED for my Sonichu Costume.

Second, the Spines and Tails for the two costume pieces should be seperate Also; The Spines for NECK and Tails for Waist. Firstly, with THAT TAIL, it makes an Unacceptable Odd appearance of TWO TAILS on the Sonichu Costume. Plus, for my [[Rosechu]] Costume, I would require the Spines to be a Neck Piece, because with the Spines/Tails being a Single TORSO Piece, SHE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WEAR HER DRESS.

I am deeply not satisfied with these portions of the Sonic the Hedgehog and Werehog Costumes.

Christian Weston Chandler. Original Author of Sonichu; see my Cwcipedia at http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Main_Page
PSN Online ID: Sonichu}}

Sony has, of course, not responded.

==Chris' LittleBigPlanet creations==

: ''See also: [[LittleBigPlanet videos]]''

{{incomplete}}

Chris has created many levels in ''LittleBigPlanet'' and posted play-through videos of them. These videos are truly breathtaking; you rarely see an allegedly enthusiastic video game fan play so clumsily on such awfully designed levels, especially considering they're made by him. With all the trophies in the game already bagged, years of playing and thousands spent on video games, one would think Chris would be able to both play the game at some tolerable skill level and also at least have some gut feeling on what goes into design of an enjoyable game level. But no: it shows how the entirety of his videogame achievements were obtained through merciless, uninterrupted grinding.

Interestingly, Chris's levels show the same problems as his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] and the videos. They're poorly thought-out, not playtested at all before publishing, show laziness and technical incompetence all around and have mindblowingly irritating overall look. Chris obviously applies the same "minimum effort" approach to ''LBP'' as he does to everything else. Do note that nearly all of Chris's levels follow the tried-and-true 'combine two franchises' technique, and that all of them have been tagged by LittleBigPlanet players as being 'creepy', 'weird', 'rubbish', and 'frustrating'.

===Sonichu Level===
[[File:SC9.jpg|thumb|A sackboy panics as he's almost crushed by a giant wooden Sonichu. Be warned: Chris's levels kill innocent Sackpeople.]]

Chris began mashing this level together in the era when ''LBP'' was still in beta, and was quite concerned whether or not the beta-era levels would be playable in the final game. [[True and Loyal Fanbase|The Loyal Fanbase]], most of which either lacked their idol's new favorite video game, or were not lucky enough to be in the beta program, waited the release of the game - and Chris's videos of the same - with bated breath. ''And then we got this.''

The Sonichu level was obviously the reason why Chris wanted the game, and an obvious choice for a new and bold direction for Sonichu. Unfortunately, it also appears to be the first ''LBP'' level he made, and the well-kept adage in game modding world is that only fools release their first crappy attempts at making levels. This is especially true if one's idea of a masterpiece is a level full of random inaccessible areas, ugly design, and frustratingly hard platforming.

The level is loosely based on [[Sonichu 0|Episode 1]] of the comic. "Loosely", because Chris's idea of a level based on the comic is a bunch of images copied on level elements and speech bubbles in roughly the same order as they appear in the comic. The rest of the level is just expanses of empty areas, poorly made blocks of material, small poorly-made jumping puzzles and something that may resemble a platformer level if you are [[Yawning Squirtle|stoned]] enough.

TL;DR: Incredibly boring first attempt at making a level, with some Sonichu stuff that appears randomly out of nowhere.

===CWC's Aqua Teen Hunger Force-Styled BurgerTime Level===

Chris continues the "one franchise + another franchise = totally unique and original and wholly his own" train of thought with... [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] and the arcade game BurgerTime??? WTF? Although it was rumored that this level was also left a smoking hole in the ground after Sony lashed out on rip-offs, it's still online and almost impossible to complete due to Chris' incompetent programming; in almost three years, the level has only been completed eight times.

===Sonichu costume===

Chris created a Sonichu costume for his Sackboy. Needless to say, it looked neither like a Sonichu or a costume.

===PS3 History Level===

{{main|PS3 History Level}}

This is the level that catapulted Chris to fame, when it was featured on the ''LittleBigPlanet'' website as one of the honorable mentions in an ''LBP'' contest. The level was vastly improved compared to the Sonichu level, which, however, still isn't saying much. Apparently, Chris figured out how to [[Pixelblocks|build things]], but completely forgot to add enemies, traps, or fun. Rather than including purposeful challenges, CWC decided to make the level so buggy you'd have to be [[autistic]] to sit through it.

The real purpose of this level is advertising his [[Fail |wonderful]] recreations of the PS3, PSP and [[Gitar of Fail|guitar controller]], dispensing prize bubbles, and most importantly, showing his PS3 game collection which includes ''four'' games with hot chicks — so you'd better not doubt his straightness. Chris concludes this level with one of the most epic straight-faced fanboy rants in recent history — the speech bubbles tell us how Chris considers the PS3 to be the best "life upgrade" ever. Clearly, fanboy-ism is more important than quality.

Chris won the ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'' level pack after this demonstration of the power of the weapon that will lead us into the 21st century.

===LittleBigPlanet Collector's Case===

Being an incurable packrat, Chris ran into problems when he was unable to save his accumulated garbage into his ''LBP'' profile. He figured out that since items you've collected can be placed into levels, he should create a "collector's case": a few boxes stacked atop each other, and elevators to make climbing easier. Stick items in bubbles, and photos to the background to remind you what's in it. Chris, of course, believed this was one of the most remarkable ideas ever, and asked everyone to thank him for this amazing original idea and give kudos to their new community mastermind. Never mind that there had been many similar "collector's cases" available in the servers already. Never mind that the idea of persistent storage in game levels had been around for decades.

Chris created two videos in which he demoed the levels, one with the level empty and ready for abuse, one with the cases jam-fucking-packed with Chris's stored items. Also, in the second video, Chris figured out how to hook up the microphone, so Sonichu's mouth now opens and closes in sync with Chris's words (to chilling effect).

===First Date Level===

Made in Valentine's Day 2009 and meant for [[Julie]], this level reaches towards good taste, and rapes it brutally. The level features some seemingly rather difficult-to-navigate buildings. A plagiarized "roller coaster" is the highlight of the level, with '''TWO''' [[BILLY MAYS|extreme]] loops, passing by some of the gaudiest pink trees in existence. Once these 10 seconds of mild amusement are over, [[fail]] inevitably appears. You're led into a [[Gay | pink]] room full of hearts, where you're supposed to take pictures of you and your [[sweetheart]]. Chris is completely unaware of how damn creepy this is.

He also condemns those who dare to play the level in one-player mode by making them take a path where a lever in the 'romantic dinner' scene takes a single player out of the level and into a depressing black-and-white void away from all the action, mocking the player for being single ("No Date? Wow, that sucks. :(" a speech balloon says as rocks pelt the poor bachelor Sackperson) as they mope and hang their head in shame all the way to the course clear screen.

The level was also recycled in [[#Rescuing Kacey|Rescuing Kacey]] video, and Chris also used screenshots of it (and the Kacey level) in [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|To Jackie, with Love]].

===Metal Speed Solid===

Oh God, you knew it was coming. Chris corrupts everything, no exceptions. In this abortion of a level, Chris distills the essence of ''MGS'': [[Sonic|linear, boring speed sections]] and impossibly difficult turret sections that instantly kill you. Oh, and rave lights, lots of seizure inducing material, including an almost impossible jetpack race through a maze of electrified walls and glitchy sections where you must travel at 'Sonic speed'. Luckily, no one will ever have to sit through it. Why? Because, if the frustrating, repetitive deaths don't stop you, Chris's poorly made pathways will glitch you into giving up!

===Rescuing Kacey===

Rescuing Kacey was made in November 2009 and presented in video [[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]. The plot of this video roughly follows the [[Sonichu Special 4|Gun Comic]], which was leaked later. In this level, Chris rides some buses, mercilessly guns down Liquid Chris who is holding Kacey hostage, and receives massive ego-stroking from extremely crude cutout characters who represent Kacey's family. In a segment that was ''not'' in the comic, Chris and Kacey leap in the [[hanky-panky|bed]] in preparation for the date. The level is rather unremarkable until you realize that Chris is controlling Chris, Kacey ''and'' Liquid- just ''why'' did he buy three controllers for PS3?

The second half of the video also recycles the [[#First Date Level|First Date Level]], and makes no attempt at hiding the fact that it was created for Valentine's Day, 2009, which occurred quite a long time ''before'' Chris and Kacey met.

===The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom===
[[File:OwlLevel.jpg|thumb|A sackboy expresses his fury at being forced to play this.]]

"The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom ([[semen|Foretaste]] Version)" was announced on [[Twitter]] in February 9, 2010, and it's based on the compelling prose by Chris and the mysterious sweetheart [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]]. It features owls, [[Chris and writing#Chris as a comic writer|walls of text]] and completely inexplicable (yet inevitable) cameos by two certain electric hedgehog Pokémon. Chris promised a full version, though judging by Chris's previous track record and the fact that Chris's relationship with the Wallflower came to end as a direct result of the release of the level preview, the full level will likely not be completed. Chris has so far not produced a video of this level, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FFjCm0Xk3E the fanbase has documented this soulless, sloppy strigine sidestory].

==Sauces==

<references/>

==External links==

*[[Wikipedia:LittleBigPlanet|Wikipedia article on ''LittleBigPlanet'']]

{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Video Games]]
[[Category:Sony]]
[[Category:PS3]]