CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and Spanish

2026-04-24T23:17:58Z

MarcelDubois: /* Chris's "knowledge" of the language */ Corrected to the actual spelling of pésimo in Spanish

[[File:397-RicardoBadge.jpg|thumb|right|The badge don't lie.]]

'''{{w|Spanish}}''' is a Romance [[Chris and language|language]] with over 500 million native speakers. It is also a common second language choice for millions more, including our favorite [[Chris|linguistic autistic]], who knows ''un poquito'' but still acts like a fluent speaker. He often uses Spanish in his videos and comics, as it was one of the few things that he learned at [[Manchester High School]], [[Honor roll|however poorly]]. He often refers to himself by his Spanish name, '''Ricardo'''.

Chris is proud of his tenuous grasp of the Spanish language, but this has not prevented [[Chris and race|racism]] against [[Joshua Martinez|Hispanics]], creating a stereotypical [[Heather Iglesias|babysitter in his comics]] and a highly stereotypical sombrero-wearing Pokémon called [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]], who "confuses its enemies with its language."

==Chris's "knowledge" of the language==
[[File:ComicHeather Iglesias.jpg|thumb|''¡Ay, caramba!'']]

Chris's actual grasp of the language must be inferred from various sources. The [[Manchester_High_Leaks#Spanish|Manchester High Leaks]] and his [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]] project indicate that Chris took Spanish I in his junior year (1998-99) and Spanish II in his senior year (1999-2000). His grades are unknown, but he seems to have done well enough to pass both classes. On [[Okcupid]], Chris claimed to speak Spanish, and wrote a large section of his profile in it (which was riddled with mistakes). He also states that he speaks Spanish on his [[resume|résumé]] (but mentions that he has only taken two years). He also has written some [[Sonichu]] comic pages in Spanish. Chris seems confident in his Spanish, despite plentiful evidence suggesting his grasp of it is feeble - he frequently makes mistakes of grammar, spelling, and pronunciation, and only employs the most basic of verb conjugations, such as the present indicative. Chris never expressed interest in taking classes or other instruction beyond high school to reach fluency, nor has he deliberately practiced his Spanish with native speakers. He seems to view his Spanish skills as a means of showing off and not a communication tool.

Some of Chris's mistakes in Spanish seem to have crossed over from his stunted [[Chris and English|command of English]], such as an affinity for the written sequence "ein" (resulting in, for example, "''bein''" instead of ''bien''). Chris is inconsistent with his use of symbols which do not occur in English when writing Spanish, such as {{w|Inverted question and exclamation marks|inverted punctuation}}, accented vowels, and, most significantly, ñ. The inverted punctuation marks are sometimes replaced with their respective upright marks and accents with an apostrophe before the vowel, while the tilde in ñ is often omitted entirely. The fact that he ''sometimes'' uses the proper characters indicates that he knows how to enter them and simply does not care enough to do so consistently. In some of Chris's [[Tomgirl]]-era Spanish writing, notably [[Sonichu 12]], Chris uses feminine nouns and adjectives when referring to mixed-gender groups, whereas Spanish grammar rules dictate using the masculine plural in these contexts. This could be an attempt at a subtle [[Women's rights|feminist]] statement, but knowing Chris, it is likely a simple error.

In Chris's [[CWC_Update_29_July_2009|July 29, 2009 video]] to our [[Liquid Chris|TRUE and HONEST hero]], he displays his grasp on Spanish, basic as it may be. It can be safely assumed he used online Spanish dictionaries for words he did not know. He also mispronounces one of the most common Spanish words, ''bueno'' (good, well), as ''bueño''. Another video involving Spanish is [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]] (a weird {{w|Leet|1337}} Spanish title), in which he says "Love [[Sonichu]]" and "hate [[Asperchu]]" backwards in English, surrounded by a sentence in awkward Spanish. In another display of his Spanish, his old Spanish assignment to create a [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|hotel]] was released online. This assignment is mostly just basic Spanish and not very advanced.

In [[Mumble 2]], Chris briefly attempts to have a conversation with a Mexican troll but fails to understand his question "Has estado en México?" ("Have you been to Mexico?"), even after it is repeated multiple times with different wording.<ref>[[Mumble 2#Chris's fail-riffic Spanish]]</ref> Chris probably never learned the present perfect verb tense, or if he did he is not able to recognize it in its spoken form.

In a two-year high school language class one can expect to learn some basic practical vocabulary (mainly based around school, business and travel), and some basic to intermediate grammar such as word order and a few verb tenses. Chris in his infinite wisdom has come away with even less than those rock bottom expectations. Of course contemporary examples may be unfair as it has been decades since high school but even [[Manchester High Leaks|samples]] we have of the height of his Spanish studies betray a tenuous understanding of the present simple tense as the farthest he can communicate.

A common pitfall of language learners is the "false cognate", a word that seems similar to a word in your own language but has a completely different meaning. A well known example is the Spanish word ''embarazada'' which resembles "embarrassed" but actually means "pregnant". Or ''excitado'' which seems to mean excited but actually translates to "horny". Ordinarily one would expect a torrent of [[Laughs Under Lucricities|lulz]] from chris in this regard but tragically his Spanish is so ''pésimo'' as to completely avoid making understandable slip-ups and makes exclusively ''incomprehensible'' mistakes like "tres muchaco" or "me le amo".

His pronunciation is heavily Southern-accented and [[Speech impediment|unclear]], making it difficult for Spanish speakers to make out without a transcript. However, he likely learned to roll his Rs in Spanish class, as he poorly does so (in English) in [[A New, Fun Trick]].

==Ricardo Weston Chandler==
'''Ricardo Weston Chandler''' is Chris's Spanish ''nom de guerre'', presumably chosen in honor of a main character in [[I Love Lucy|one of Chris's favorite TV shows]]. Students in language classes often choose an alternate name in the language they are learning to "get into" the culture and language. Of course, while most people forget about this when they have left the course (or even the teachers abandon the practice shortly into the course), Chris has adopted "Ricardo" as his actual Spanish name and uses it for his Spanish-related endeavors.

He is oblivious to the fact that, when learning another language, people generally do not change their name, but instead use the language's native form of the name. If no native equivalent exists, they may adapt it to fit the language's pronunciation and spelling rules (i.e. L becomes R in Japanese). ''Cristian'' (without the H) is actually a rather common name in the Spanish-speaking sphere. Weston can be adapted as ''Hueston'' or loosely translated as ''Del Oeste'' (of the West). Chandler can be translated as either ''Candelero'' or ''Velero'' depending on which meaning we're going with. Christine becomes Cristina, and Christopher becomes Cristóbal. Chris has plenty of options.

Furthermore, modern Spanish speakers rarely translate names of non-royalty, just as English speakers don't refer to every María as a "Mary." The practice of adopting a Spanish name while learning the language is purely for immersion purposes. It is not a reflection of how native Spanish speakers actually talk, at least not in the 20th and 21st centuries.

Of course, it must be noted that Ricardo's linguistic skills have brought us gems such as [[noviophobia]] (from the Spanish ''novio'', "boyfriend"). It should also be noted that Ricardo is the Spanish and Portuguese version of the name "Richard", which is sometimes shortened to [[duck|"Dick"]].

=== Chris's Spanish ''alter ego'' today ===

Chris's attachment to his Spanish name has not abated to this day, and he has listed the name prominently alongside his more common aliases ([[Christopher's name change|Christopher, Christian]], and [[Christine]]). However, Chris has yet to pick a feminine Spanish name in agreement with his current gender identity, suggesting he has largely abandoned the concept of having a Spanish ''alter ego''...

Until [[2021]], when Chris proclaimed to be the second coming of Jesus Christ.

Upon returning to making videos in [[2023]], Chris would call himself "[[Jesus]] Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu," usually pronouncing Jesus as Jesús (heh-SOOS), the Spanish way, in addition to saying Christine like "Christ"-ine. This brought a Spanish name, in this case the very common ''Jesús'', back to his signature. Chris would defend his choice for a little while, but eventually began pronouncing "Jesus" normally not long after.

==Works in which CWC uses Spanish==
[[File:051-LindaRonstadtCD.jpg|thumb|''No sé mucho, pero sé que te amo...'']]
*[[CWC Update 29 July 2009]]
*[[CWC's Pokésite 2]]
*[[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]]
*[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]
*"[[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova]]"
*"[[Valentines Day Hymn]]"
*His leaked [[Manchester High Leaks|Manchester High School homework]]
*[[Mumble_2#Chris's fail-riffic Spanish|Mumble 2]]
*[[OkCupid]]
*[[SingStar_Challenge#Transcript|SingStar Challenge]]
*[[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]
*[[Sonichu_Girls#The letter in Spanish|Chris's letters to the Sonichu Girls]]
*[[:File:396-PokePizzaria.jpg|El Café de Pokémon Pizzaria]] [sic]
*[[:File:052-LindaRonstadtIn.jpg|Christian's Favorite Hits: Los [sic] Canciónes [sic] Españolas de Ricardo]]
*[[Katie Bay E-mails 3|Chris's e-mails with Katie Bay]]
*[[Facebook messages|Facebook message to Christina]]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007173814/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=CWC_Speaks CWC Speaks], an article on [[CWCipedia]] where he [[ego|brags about his fluency]] in the language.
*[[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]]
*[[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], in an appearance from [[Heather Iglesias]], mixed in with English dialogue.
*[[February_2020_social_media_posts#Birthday|2020 birthday message]]
*[[Setting the Record straight - there never was any sex involving me in 2021|Setting the Record straight]] - identifies twice as [[Messiah complex|''Jesús'' Christ]].

==See also==
*[[Joshua Martinez]], Chris's Spanish friend
*[[Chris and English]]
*[[Heather Iglesias]], a [[homos|lesbian]] nanny who works for [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]

==Notes==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and anger

2026-04-19T00:26:12Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Articleofthenow}}
 

<center>{{#ev:youtube|_aolN7WNKno}}</center>

{{Quote|I'm not a man who likes to keep rage constantly in my [[heart level|heart]].|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]], [[List of Chris's lies|lying through his]] [[fangs|teeth]]<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 3]]</ref>}}

To call Chris an angry person would be an understatement. Chris has '''anger''' management issues that usually surface when he is under [[stress]]. Trolls refer to Chris's fits of rage as "'''tard rage'''", an expression normally used to describe the seemingly [[100_2278|superhuman strength]] a normally mild-tempered [[slow-in-the-mind]] displays when he or she is pushed too far and goes on an anger-fueled rampage. Although in Chris's case, "superhuman" and "strength" can easily be replaced with "impotent" and "bawling".

==Causes of Chris's anger==
[[Image:Rawr fag.jpg|thumb|[[12_January_2010#Part_2|A typical fit of tard rage.]]]]

Chris's issues with anger may stem from being tormented in his early childhood by his [[abusive babysitter]], whom he was frequently left under the care of while [[Barbara Chandler|Borb]] would go out clubbin' and takin' shots. She allegedly traumatized Chris by locking him up in a [[Chris's room|room full of toys]] when he was a year old. Ironically, Chris did the same to himself up until the date of his [[Jail Saga|arrest]] at almost age 40.

Another person who may be behind Chris's anger issues could have been his late father, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]. Being Bob's son, Chris would likely have been afraid to retaliate against the things Bob did that annoyed him, such as very rarely washing his hands, making Chris remove videos from "the damn Internet", and occasionally [[Bob Walks In|cutting down Chris's access to the web]]. Chris then takes out his anger on innocent, well-meaning [[trolls]], such as [[Clyde Cash]].

Another cause of Chris's anger is the fact that up until 30 years of age, Chris was a [[virgin]]. Being a virgin seemed to make Chris feel like he was entitled to be allowed frequent moments of rage and seeing as he only [[Mass debating|mass debated]] twice a week due to his bent [[duck]], he may have had large amounts of [[semen|testosterone]] stored up in his body he just needed to [[Recycling|get out]]. Sexual frustration can make even the best of us a bit cranky, though never to this extreme. After supposedly losing his virginity to [[Mia Hamm]], Chris did not hesitate in ending his 2-year hiatus from [[Twitter]] just to wish death upon [[Michael Snyder]].

Furthermore, Chris is [[autistic]] and therefore lacks an understanding of the social restraints of anger. When he gets angry, he sees no reason why he shouldn't go positively ''nuts''. This and the amount of bottled-up stress that autism produces have shown that autistic ''children'' can be very short-tempered. Chris, however, is not an autistic child – he is an autistic ''adult'', and while most other autistics learn how to cope with stress in ways other than tantrums by the time they're in their 30s, Chris hasn't. Somewhat ironically, Chris's autism seems to cause him a large amount of anger, since the rest of the world will not acknowledge the "brilliance" of ''Sonichu'', which is apparently directly brought about by Chris's autism.

But the one thing that causes Chris's anger, more than anything, is the lack of control he has over everything. His own [[ego]] refuses to allow Chris to think of anything but himself, and when things spiral out of control, he gets frustrated. When [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|Bob demanded that Chris take down the videos of their house]], Chris could only flail and tell him that he didn't know what to do, only to tell his "fans" to take it down for him. When [[Liquid Chris|someone pretends to be him]] and be more popular than him, he rages because he feels that it's his popularity, not the faker's. When people [[Asperchu|poke fun at him]] or [[Mailbag 39|constantly question one's gender]], he goes into a hissy fit.

Chris's anger issues date back to before even the formal beginning of his [[Love Quest]]. In [[2000]], he was prescribed the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paroxetine|Paxil]] to help manage his frustration and anger, and he continued to take the drug for several years. Whatever effect his medication had, it clearly wasn't enough.

==Examples of Chris's anger==
[[File:Blachu Medallion.JPG|thumb|Now with the Blachu Medallion.]]

The way Chris expresses his anger can be considered confusing, to say the least. In one of his early fits of rage, he began to shout "[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]" at several [[jerkop]]s who were trying to kick him out of a local [[Walmart]]. In general, Chris expresses anger like an Internet tough guy would do, [[A Message to the Trolls|taking out his anger on a video camera]] knowing that it obviously can't and won't fight back. This can be seen in one of his videos on Clyde Cash, where he seems to be "Hulking up". He also used to beat up representations of people he disliked in ''[[Soul Calibur]]''. On the other hand, even as he is seemingly scared of expressing his anger in real life, he seems to have outbursts when sufficiently pushed as well. Chris was at one point forced to take anger management classes sometime after his final confrontation with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. What happened during this epic struggle is only known in Chris's own words.

{{quote|"Then that B-Dog ripped up my notes and all, dragged me to her quarters and talked down to me very RUDELY AND HOARSELY. I reacted with my own [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|attack]] that she had been asking for the whole time. I was kicked out of [[Piedmont_Virginia_Community_College|PVCC]] for a year, and I had to take an anger management course and see a psychiatrist for a while. I was allowed back in."|[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]]}}

A great example of Chris's anger can be seen in one of Chris's most infamous videos, his "[[YouTube Finale]]". In this video, Chris repeatedly threatens poor Clyde, claiming he will indeed [[Strangle that Clyde Cash|strangle him]] someday, even going as far as telling Clyde he will even commit this heinous and reprehensible act in a police station, showing Chris has no control over his angry feelings. The fact that Clyde was only trolling Chris in an attempt to lash out at him for his role in the fictional death of his late brother [[Ryan Cash]] shows even further how much Chris may still require a couple of anger management classes. His cameras would also benefit from some relief, as he often punches them to dramatically end his more rage-infused videos.

On several occasions, Chris has also shouted and screamed in videos, and concluded his argument with some sort of a heinous threat — and promptly followed this up with his trademark conclusion of saying "peace" and showing the peace sign, or with "Have a nice day," or something similar. Chris is apparently completely oblivious to how jarring it is to go from yelling [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|"get everything off the internet ''now'', '''''now, NOW, NOWNOWNOWNOOOOOW!!!!'''''"]] to "Curse the trolls, peace to everyone else" immediately afterward.

{{quote|I will be continuing my comics at the moment. But any FURTHER incident and not only will I STOP the comic, but I WILL go to the [[law|police]]. ALL RIGHT? Back the fuck off. Have a good day.|[[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|Chris will strangle that Clyde Cash]].}}

Occasionally, when enraged, his tendency to type important words in ALL CAPS becomes more prominent. Compare these two e-mails from the [[Miyamoto Saga]] — the first sounds fairly calm, though he does let loose one all-caps phrase. The second sounds angrier and possibly a bit desperate.

{{quote|Also, Please inform [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Mr. Miyamoto]], but I have just awoken Inspired [[Sonichu]]-Wise; I have figured out the Opening Title Movie for [[Sonichu's Adventure]], the Prequel Comic for the possible ''[[Pokémon]] Lightning'' Version, and the monitary-type collectibles in Sonichu's Adventure; NOT RINGS, but C-Quarters (the main money) and W-Quarters (equals 10 C-Quarters).|Chris explaining shit nobody cares about.}}

{{quote|Listen People of Nintendo, DURING MY LIFETIME, my family and I have invested THOUSANDS of American Dollars and Cents in [[Nintendo]] Video Games and Systems from NES and Game Boy to Gamecube/Wii and DS/GBA. I have also attached My List of Video Games I have in my collection; 90 PERCENT of Which were ALL BOUGHT BRAND NEW while available in the stores during its MINT Availability. [[Chris and English|SURLY]] you can spot back about just under $800 for our Trip To Seattle in advance.|Chris on his knees begging for money so he can fly to [[Redmond]], citing his extensive collection of Nintendo games as the reason why Miyamoto should fork over $700.}}

Other examples of Chris's anger show him taking out his tard rage on his [[Clown Doll]]. In the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]] video, a picture of Clyde Cash was taped to the doll, and Chris beat it like a spoiled 3-year-old who smashes a plate of broccoli because he didn't get his way. He also attempted to rip off its head at one point, only to have it slide out through his greasy palms. Chris would attempt to bite the doll's head off again in the [[Sign Destruction Video]], but fans of the doll will be relieved to know that Chris is far too weak to break anything of value; he was merely able to tear off the clown's hat. In his video [[Chris Loses It]], Chris proved to us that he's able to shred in half a small cardboard box, but is unable to go through light-press wood. The video also shows his poor acting skills only equal to his overall stamina, since he's out of breath before the end of the first minute of the video. A rare example where Chris's anger manifested into physical violence against others would be the infamous [[26_December_2014|blarms incident]] where he maced a GameStop employee during his [[Blarms|war on Sonic's new arm color.]]

{{quote|RRRAAAARRGGHH!!|Most of the monologue in the Chris Loses It video.}}

Another example has shown that Chris can and will blow up at people, even on the telephone. When Chris mistakenly believed that [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] had hacked his website, he left an [[Jason_Kendrick_Howell_message|angry voicemail]]. In the [[Father Call]], Chris quickly became rude to [[Kacey]]'s father, Matthew, especially when the man came down on Chris for his [[health]] and his attitude. Even worse, when Chris [[Kacey and Liquid Call|talked to Kacey and Liquid]], he came up in arms over Liquid's continued referral of "[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]" and was completely oblivious to the fact that Kacey was getting upset over the entire thing. Even worse, Chris attempted to hang up on both Matthew AND Kacey, only succeeding with Kacey because he got his [[Barbera Chandler|mom]] and dad in on the conversation. Both instances show that Chris loses his [[speech impediment|stammering]] and actually starts speaking normally when enraged.

Around the time when Chris opened the Mailbag to his [[True and Loyal Fanbase|adoring fans]], another factor that caused Chris some notable grief was discovered to be the mention of any similarity between high-functioning autism and [[Asperger's syndrome]]. Chris has shown himself to be quite adamant that HFA and Asperger's are entirely unrelated, despite documentation by researchers suggesting quite the opposite. Whilst the anger related to this is of a far lesser magnitude in comparison to, for example, the Liquid Chris saga, it's still clear he's easily irritated by the mere mention of the matter:

{{quote|IF ANYTHING, the Asperger people ARE and HAVE BEEN NORMAL. They think they can one-up, or even match, autism with the Lack of Social Capability and their Clumsiness and such. THOSE Characteristics can be FAKED by them who are MOST NORMAL compared to us TRUE AUTISTIC PEOPLE.|Chris in his [[CWCipedia]] article on Asperger's syndrome.}}

It's surprising at first how irritated Chris is by this matter. However, the CWCipedia article makes it clear that Chris is angry at Asperger's sufferers for "stealing" the limelight from autistic folks such as himself. He seems to believe that those diagnosed with the condition are faking it to get attention, [[Chris and his Ego|attention that he feels he deserves as an autistic person]].

==Decline of the tard raging==
In recent years, Chris's behavior has generally started to get much less aggressive. Possible reasons for this include medication, effects of therapy, becoming more relaxed in his older age, or an increasing (but not perfect) resistance to trolls and [[weens]] brought on by years of wear.

Some of Chris's medication is credited for anxiety relief by him, including Paxil/Paroxetine, an unspecified blood-pressure prescription, and Valium.<ref name=meds>[[August 2017 tweets]]</ref> He attended therapy after the [[pepper spray]] incident and apparently learned new methods of coping. An example of this can be seen in the revised [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], which includes a text that appears to be inspired by a therapy session.

For examples of trolling which didn't elicit rage, Chris did not go into a fit when the [[Jeff/Francine]] troll tried to "steal" his identity, making videos on it but refraining from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|screaming as he did during the Liquid Saga]]. [[Michael Hirtes]]'s attempts to troll him were almost always met by Chris simply blocking his multiple accounts, until Chris gave up and just "[disabled notifications] with this kid, and let him go on". Similarly, in response to [[PewDiePie]]'s video dedicated entirely to Chris, instead of complaining about him making that video, which is completely devoted to criticizing him, Chris instead simply requested that he direct message him.

On the other hand, examples of when Chris recently raged include threatening [[Lulu]]'s executives with violence, [[Pmurt]]'s presidency, [[August 2017 tweets|becoming angry at weens when they hassled Nowacking about him]], [[HarassCWCdirectly|getting angry about weens harassing Doopie to get into her pants]], [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE|having a meltdown when he thought trolls ruined his relationship with Jessica Quinn]], and [[Twitter_blocks_from_TF2_Analysis_crew|raging]] at weens who got him [[Apologies_to_the_liked_Bronies_and_Pegasisters;_PLEASE_UNBLOCK_ME_ON_TWITTER!|blocked]] by several people in the My Little Pony fandom which he follows. This shows that some things still trigger Chris more than others.

==Fan videos==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = My Bad Side
| ytid = SyYGgtN7s9M
| Stardate = 18 January 2012
| Maker = GhostofBillRiley
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ultimate Chris Chan Rage Compilation (1998-2021)
| ytid = Kh9G-orVDYM
| Stardate = 28 October 2021
| Maker = Shkrugg McSchlugg
| Subject = Rage
| Video Type = Compilation
| Other Info =
}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Virgin with rage]]
*[[Death threats]]
*[[:Category:Videos with RAGE|Videos with Rage]]

{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}

Chris and reality

2026-04-18T22:49:54Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{quote|You can only escape in your mental depths and recluse for so long before you are pulled back to reality, and too many things leave you feeling like you get little peace at home.|Chris, [[December 2016]], in a rare moment of self-awareness on his habit of escapism.<ref name=rare>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#State of CWC's life]]</ref>}}
[[File:30yrslater.jpg|thumb|250px|This is what Chris actually believes.]]
[[File:Ideaguy poster.jpg|thumb|right|250px|thumb|...for real.]]

'''Reality''' is a concept that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] desperately tries to avoid acknowledging, instead retreating to the comfort of his imaginary world and hoping that reality will eventually bend to his whims. [[Autism|Autistic people]] tend to struggle with distinguishing between reality and fantasy, but most make an effort to reduce the impact on their lives. Chris, on the other hand, embraces his realm of fantasy and '''delusions''', especially as escapism from [[stress]], life responsibilities, and his bleak future, trapping himself in a feedback loop whereby his real-world life and issues are further neglected while his devotion to his fantasies gets stronger.

Notably, Chris believes that [[CWCville]] and his [[imaginary friends]] are real: Chris has been spotted conversing, interacting, and [[BronyCon 2017#Dancing with Magi-Chan|dancing]] with them on many occasions, and even believes that he is [[Polyamorous marriage|married]] to imaginary people. Chris also holds many delusions of grandeur, from believing he has the power to curse people,<ref>According to [[Jackie Chat 5]] and [[Jackie E-mails 16]], Chris wrote that Sonichu was in Mary Lee Walsh’s office with him: he then pretended to be Sonichu himself and delivered a lecture, before using the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack.</ref> to thinking he has [[PsychicPowers|psychic powers]], and even believing he is a [[CPU Blue Heart|goddess]] with the power to unite entire [[dimensions]] — and that this [[Dimensional Merge]] would make him rich and bring his fictional characters, and those of others, to life.

Chris's perception of reality has been on a downward spiral for most of his life, due to a lifetime of being coddled by his parents. Following the death of his [[father]] in 2011, and amid the increasing infirmity of his [[mother]], Chris was forced into shouldering more responsibilities that he was mentally ill-equipped to bear, and consequently, he invested more heavily in magical beliefs as solutions to the problems presented by reality. In 2017, the [[Idea Guys]], trolls who utilized role-playing as Chris's imaginary friends, further exacerbated Chris's grasp of reality, giving validation to his fantasies and encouraging him to stay rooted in his fantasy world — a trend continued at present-day by waves of [[enablers]].

Chris maintains his beliefs even in the face of mental health professionals — for nine months between summer 2018 and spring 2019, he was required to see a psychiatrist and therapy group at [[Region Ten]] and told them of his beliefs on his imaginary friends and multiple dimensions, to which their reaction was to simply hand-wave him through their program.

__TOC__

{{-}}

== Causes of Chris’s poor grip on reality ==

[[File:I'm Done Adulting T-shirt.png|thumb|200px|Chris wearing his "[[Chris and fashion|I'm Done Adulting]]" T-shirt while begging for money and being surrounded by toys in his [[Patreon announcement]]. (You can't be finished with something that never started.)]]

===Parental enabling===
Although autism is one major factor, [[Borb|his parents]] contributed a lot towards Chris's warped perception of anyone or anything that antagonizes him: Bob and Barbara regularly fed Chris conciliatory platitudes about how he was mistreated out of jealousy, and that "special rules" exist for the benefit of autistic people. The platitudes cemented Chris's [[Chris and his Ego|all-pervasive sense of entitlement]], as well as his indiscriminate belief that [[Greene County Conspiracy|anything bad that happened to him was a conspiracy]], whether or not it was caused by his [[slow-in-the-minds|stupidity]] or [[Chris and negotiation|stubbornness]].

===Psychological problems===

The only known formal diagnoses of Chris are [[autism]], dating from when he was five or six years old, and [[transgender|gender dysphoria]], officially diagnosed in 2016. However, his behavior in adulthood suggests he has undiagnosed issues.

Chris exhibits signs of {{W|maladaptive daydreaming}}, a psychiatric disorder comprised of vivid [[daydreams]] and excessive fantasies that can interfere with socializing or even replace it altogether. This behavior is observed in Chris with his [[imaginary friends]] and [[CWCville]], the [[Dimensional Merge]], and especially the [[polyamorous marriage]]. Maladaptive Daydreaming is also associated with pacing and musical stimulation. Eyewitness accounts of Chris such as [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer]] mention these behaviors in him. Chris also stated that music from his phone is his method for [[meditation]].<ref>[[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]</ref>

{{w|Peter Pan syndrome}} is an informal pop psychology "condition" of being immature and refusing to grow up and accept adult responsibilities (like Peter Pan in Neverland). Chris has demonstrated this with his refusal to seek [[work]] or at least budget his SSDI, instead [[beg]]ging for money or ignoring his [[debt]] payments to afford more toys. An [[Debt hearing (eyewitness account)|eyewitness to one of Chris's debt hearings]] noted that Chris was "trying hard to revert to childhood", based on how he made childish noises during his time in the courtroom and talked back to his mother in a childlike voice. The Dimensional Merge represents Chris's ultimate desire to hide from adult responsibilities, as he believes it will grant his wildest power fantasies and enable him to continue living like a child. Chris's devotion to rejecting adult life has warped his perception of reality, as he spends all of his free time playing make-believe as if it were a religion.

====Does Chris have schizophrenia or a schizophrenia-spectrum disorder?====
Probably not.

A common theory since the Dimensional Merge saga unfolded is that Chris may have schizophrenia, based on his rantings about his imaginary world seeming as if he cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. However, a closer look at Chris's ramblings shows that he's capable of discerning the difference, but couches it in the belief of different [[dimensions]] to preserve his escapist fantasies. Unlike a schizophrenic, Chris will distinguish between reality (or as he calls it, [[1218]]) and his fantasy domain (named [[C-197]]).

{{quote|Damn Dimension 1218’s “Reality” Limits and Shit!!!|Chris's reaction when reality's dimension and his fantasy dimension did not merge as predicted,<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts]]</ref> a prime example of him being able to differentiate reality from his escapist fantasies.}}

{{quote|though not fully doable on the 1218 side of the Dimensional Curtain yet, [I am] able to draw up a water-to-wine conversion and vice-versa.|Chris<ref>[[Reddit]]</ref> showing he is aware he doesn't have super-powers in reality.}}

Also, unlike a schizophrenic, Chris's fantasies do not involve paranoia or hallucinations, and they are entirely self-serving. While Chris has made statements implying he is hallucinating, such as when he insists he can see or interact with his [[imaginary friends]], he often omits that he uses techniques such as "[[meditation]]" or "astral projection" (read: simple imagination), another indicator that his issue is Maladaptive Daydreaming. While Chris's reactions to the Idea Guys' brainwashing can seem like paranoid delusions (i.e., believing that laypeople can blow up the moon), they are better explained by his gullibility.

{{quote|I’ve had to commute to here, Dimension C-197, via astral projection [...] The tough part is having to leave my body behind in 1218. [...] Oh, but very soon, I shall finally, finally, be able to bring mys--body here to C-197.|Chris giving a rare explanation on how he delves into his fantasy world.<ref>[[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]]</ref>}}

While Chris does on the surface exhibit some "negative symptoms" of schizophrenia, including asociality, an often-flat affect, and avolition, these are all better explained by his [[autism]], much like his [[ego]]centrism and mania-like states of anxious rage.

Chris's behavior and beliefs align at least somewhat with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder Schizotypal personality disorder], which is thought to exist on a spectrum with Schizophrenia. He arguably demonstrates all nine diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5:

*ideas of reference (believing that [[COVID-19|certain]] generally innocuous [[Dimensional Merge|events ]] hold special meaning or messages for oneself)
*[[CPU Blue Heart|strange beliefs]] or [[magical thinking]] that [[Mary Lee Walsh|influences behavior]] and is inconsistent with [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|subcultural norms]]
*[[Imaginary friends|abnormal perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions]]
*[[Conspiracy theories|suspiciousness]] or [[Greene County Conspiracy|paranoid ideation]]
*[[Saga|strange behavior]] or [[Chris and fashion|appearance]]
*excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self, (whilst Chris was largely comfortable around his paid-for [[Gal-Pal|companions]] during [[Manchester High School|High School]], his interaction with both the [[Love Quest|fairer sex]] and [[Man in the pickle suit|pickle bearers]] have since been riddled with [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|paranoid fears]] and [[Manajerks|delusions]])
*strange thinking and speech
*lack of close friends
*inappropriate or constricted affect

However, while these symptoms are all present in Chris, several can be almost exclusively attributed to his [[autism]], such as his social anxiety, lack of close friends, constricted affect, strange behavior, tendency to misinterpret people, mania-like states, gullibility, and egocentric philosophy. Some studies also link ideas of reference to autism. Also, Schizotypal individuals generally do not develop the [[Messiah complex|grandiose delusions]] he has developed over the years, and they generally are too reclusive to air their delusions.

In fact, many of these traits are consistent with autism, ADHD, bipolar, psychosis, schizophrenia, and other personality disorders.

Therefore, further digging than internet armchair analysis is required, and a professional trained to differentiate autistic symptoms from psychotic ones could further elaborate. Chris, of course, will likely never receive this in-depth evaluation, thanks to his [[Chris and mental healthcare|adamant refusal]] to seek out help voluntarily or benefit from professional help that is forced upon him. Again, he arguably does not demonstrate much paranoia outside gullibility, and does not appear to truly hallucinate his imaginary friends.

===Lack of grounding in the real world===
[[File:Artist_Depiction_of_Chris_mind.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction of Chris's imaginary world after he passes away and it dies with him.]]
Chris's lack of purpose, combined with his enormous [[ego]], further fuels his disconnection from reality, compelling him to instead seek out the purpose with make-believe, such as being the mayor of [[CWCville]] and being the goddess [[CPU Blue Heart]]. In August 2019, he preferred to [[daydream]] about such things for three to six hours per day.<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#Barb ain't dead yet + Magi-Chan's likes]]</ref>"

Without the structure that a traditional job, even a minimum-waged or volunteer position, would impart to him, Chris is instead free to wallow in his fantasies.

Chris's hobbies are mostly limited to [[Netflix]], [[video games]], and [[Twitter]].

{{quote|As for what I do while awake, on the recent, I get up, take my meds, meditate while playing [[Tetris 99]] to at least take on the daily tasks for the game. Most days, I go out on errand or simple walking [...] Anyway, during the time at home, I tend to binge a show, do some drawing or creative, work (namely the [[TSSSF]] cards and the comic pages).|Chris describing his day-to-day life.<ref>[[Arbitarch CWC Alliance chats (November 2019)#Chris's day-to-day life]]</ref>}}

===Escapist fantasies===
[[File:Dimensional Merge math on McDonalds napkin.jpg|thumb|200|Chris will sit down and [[Chris and science#Mathematics|calculate]] the number of casualties in his [[Dimensional Merge]] fantasy but won't write up a budget plan for paying off his [[debt]].]]

Chris embraces his fantasies as escapism, overindulging in them to the point that his interest in them has largely eclipsed his real-world life. When his childlike lifestyle conflicts with the responsibilities associated with being an adult, Chris retreats to his fantasy realm to cope.

This habit became especially prevalent in the years following the September 2011 death of his [[father]], after which Chris found himself thrust into the world of adult responsibilities as he had to do tasks such as pay his bills and help take care of his [[mother]] and pets. Chris was 29 years old when his father passed away; while most people would be accustomed to dealing with responsibilities by that age, Chris was unprepared for the burden since his parents had sheltered him up to that point. For example, until he died, his father had managed Chris's bank account due to his fiscal irresponsibility.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 8]]</ref>

{{quote|When my father was alive, I had more freedom; now that he has passed, I lost a lot of freedom and remain to take after the tasks he had left behind. [...] You can only escape in your mental depths and recluse for so long before you are pulled back to reality, and too many things leave you feeling like you get little peace at home.|Chris.<ref name=rare></ref>}}

Chris occasionally whined on social media about his position in having to help take care of his mother and pets — his statements gradually revealing more of his retreat into escapist fantasies.

In September 2012, he complained:

{{quotebox|Everybody else gets to go out for a fun and good time; I am stuck care-giving my mother and our [[dogs]], and it is Very Stressful on me.<ref>[[September 2012 Facebook posts#I Require Friends]]</ref>}}

In January 2013, Chris was hoping for a [[sweetheart]] to rescue him from his life:

{{quotebox|I need my Sweetheart-to-be to make me happy; my heart hurts literally from my depression and loneliness. Serving my mother is not a final purpose to me, and my social life is very slim. I feel like I lack direction in my life as well.<ref>[[January 2013 Facebook posts#Chris needs direction]]</ref>}}

By summer 2017, Chris was immersed in his escapism to the point that he was [[dancing with Magi-Chan]], one of his [[imaginary friends]], at [[BronyCon]]. In October of that year, from his list of reasons for refusing to get a job, half involved his devotion to his fantasies:

{{quotebox|I Have a TON and S***-Load of Responsibilities and Worries here at home care-taking my mother, dogs, cats, and to my own passion of my [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]] Family, my City of Cwcville, my own Only-Me Psychic Connection [[Imaginary friends|to my family and friends there]], in that dimension. So, I'll be darned if I Do Not already have enough on my plate<ref>[[Kiwi Farms#Posts]]</ref>}}

Chris's desire to be rescued from reality left him desperate for his fantasies to be validated, his mentality similar to people willing to join cults. This led to Chris being exploited by a number of trolls, with the most infamous being the [[Idea Guys]]. Chris would only continue to retreat further and further into this elaborate alternate reality he has constructed in his mind. While under arrest for [[Jail Saga|sexually assaulting his elderly mother]], Chris chose to ignore the seriousness of the situation he was in and gave a long spiel to the responding police officers about Sonichu, his status as a Supreme Goddess, and the Dimensional Merge. As Chris sat in [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] awaiting legal proceedings, he has now chosen to believe that he is also the [[Jail_Letter_-_19_September_2021|reincarnation of Jesus Christ.]]

===Cult of the Idea Guys===
{{main|Idea Guys|Enablers|List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris}}
{{quote|I feel need to also thank them for adding more connection between our sister dimension and I|Chris on the Idea Guys, retaining his cultist mentality several months after they had been ousted.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1017879233119469568</ref>}}

[[File:IdeaGuyCwc News Media.PNG|thumb|200px|Chris fell for this fake news graphic made by the original Idea Guy as part of his plot to convince Chris he was providing information from [[CWCville]]'s dimension.]]

On 25 [[October 2017]], Joshua Wise, the first of a duo that would later be dubbed the Idea Guys, contacted Chris.<ref>Date given in [[Sonichu 13]].</ref> Initially, as an experiment to gauge Chris's gullibility, Wise began a plot to manipulate Chris into believing that Wise had made it into [[CWCville]]'s dimension. Drawing from his experience in role-playing communities and borrowing lore from video game/anime series ''[[Hyperdimension Neptunia]]'', Wise crafted an elaborate narrative that included edited image graphics, doctored audio clips such as [[Red Forest]], and role-playing as Chris's [[imaginary friends]]. Chris, by this point in his life, desperate for his fantasies to be validated, eagerly accepted Wise's claims.<ref name=IGQA>[[Idea Guy Q&A]]</ref>

The association between Wise and Chris morphed into that of a cult leader and a devout follower. Wise, taking advantage of Chris's desire for validation, brainwashed his beliefs on CWCville and his imaginary friends, such as by claiming CWCville to be [[Operation BARBarossa|occupied by Nazis]], that [[Rosechu]] is a transgender woman, and that Chris is [[Polyamorous marriage|married to imaginary friends]], with Chris accepting it as fact.

At some point, the second Idea Guy, Stephen Boyd, joined Wise. Together, the two exploited their influence over Chris and had him make false statements for blackmail purposes and conned Chris into giving them thousands of dollars under threats that they would destroy CWCville and release the blackmail material if he failed to comply.<ref name=extortionists></ref> Their activities caught the attention of people in Chris's inner circle, who formed a group later termed the [[Guard Dogs]] to counteract the Idea Guys and remove them from power. However, even after the ousting, and though the Guard Dogs tried to encourage him to seek therapy at [[Region Ten]], Chris still retained most of the beliefs the Idea Guys had brainwashed into him over the six months they were in power. Guard Dog Marvin explained Chris's perspective:

{{quoteboxgreen|"Reality" is a malleable concept to Chris.

To Chris, that these losers were pretending to be imaginary characters doesn't mean they didn't unwittingly connect with their counterparts in the other dimension or whatever. So yeah, he thinks Wise and Boyd were assholes who stumbled upon some magic or some shit.

Chris is mostly mad about money first and being made to embarrass himself second.

In regards to why he still maintains a lot of their canon, it's because Chris is too invested in his imaginary world to give up on it so easily. I think after Wise and Boyd were outed, he felt really uncomfortable about retconning most of their changes. Because if he retcons the past six months, then fuck, why can't he retcon all of it? That would make him feel really uneasy about the possible reality of his imaginary world.

That reality is most important to him.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Why Chris Continued Believing Idea Guys Influence]]</ref>}}

The post-Idea Guys era ignited a wave of [[enablers]] who sought to use the Idea Guys' tactics to worm their way into Chris's life. For a few months, the Guard Dogs attempted to protect Chris by screening his messages for him. However, given Chris's refusal to address his psychological weaknesses and willingness to find others to play make-believe with, the enablers eventually broke past their defenses, leading to the Guard Dogs washing their hands of Chris. The [[Teen Troon Squad]] in fall 2018, [[MKRNightVee]] in winter 2019, [[Jacob Sockness]] in summer 2019, and a myriad of [[other enablers]] took turns role-playing with Chris and enabling his fantasies in exchange for his attention. In addition, using lore brute-forced into his head by the Idea Guys, Chris declared himself to be a goddess — [[CPU Blue Heart]] — and began to preach about the [[Dimensional Merge]], further intensifying the cult vibes of his beliefs.

==Consequences==
[[File:Discord3.jpg|thumb|left|200px|The fictional superweapon Kadingir, as depicted in anime series ''Symphogear''. The Idea Guys used this image to con Chris into believing they had the capability to destroy the moon and CWCville.<ref>[[The Bad Beginning]]</ref>]]

Beyond making a fool of himself, Chris's poor grasp of reality has compelled him to self-harm, fall for con men exploiting his beliefs, and cause damage to his home.

===Self-harm===
{{w|Gender dysphoria|Late-onset gender dysphoria}} is a psychological disorder describing those who identify with another gender over their own, and can present with the desire to be rid of their primary sex characteristics and prefer those of the other gender. Like with everything else in life, Chris sought out [[magical thinking]] to treat his gender dysphoria.

In March 2016, he discovered [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]], a collection of music tracks on YouTube claiming to, among other things, magically grant larger breasts and transform a penis into a vagina. Chris's confirmation bias over his breasts increasing, crediting it to the mysticism instead of his {{w|gynecomastia}} and [[My Breast Massage Routine 18+|poor measuring of his chest]], led him to believe that the claims made by the channel were true.

He pursued the penis-vagina transformation and began to prod his taint while under the impression there was a hidden vagina there.<ref>[[Reddit#Can males be born with a hidden vagina (minus the uterus)? (3 July 2016)]]</ref> Though the Subliminal channel claimed the transformation would take six months, Chris eventually lost patience. In July 2016, he grabbed a knife and made a [[self-inflicted taint wound]] in an effort to free his vagina. Chris's devotion to the delusion was so potent that he initially resisted efforts by concerned fans to pressure him into going to the hospital, though he eventually wore down and admitted it was a wound and obeyed treatment instructions.

===Con artists===
While Chris has long been taken advantage of by trolls, the tactics and goals from the likes of the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] surpass the typical catfishing-for-content.

The Idea Guys gradually built up a strong psychological hold over Chris by affirming his fantasies and playing along with them, to the point where Chris had full faith in anything they told him. They then used their influence to con Chris out of $6,000 by threatening to blow up [[CWCville]] with a moon laser if he failed to comply, manipulate him into punching his mother, and had him make videos [[Chris slaps himself|slapping himself in the face]] and shitting on the floor.<ref name=extortionists>[[The Chris-Chan Extortionists]]</ref> Things became even darker when the Idea Guys threatened to falsely report Chris as a [[Pedofork|pedophile]] to the FBI if he stopped supplying them with vast sums of money, consoles, and games, thus deepening the [[Financhu Crisis]].

Jacob Sockness, following the example set by the Idea Guys, nearly succeeded in manipulating Chris into a sexual relationship, holding the [[Dimensional Merge]] over his head and [[Sockness impersonates Magi-Chan|faking a conversation with Chris's imaginary friend]] to convince him they should meet and consider marriage.

Though both the Idea Guys and Sockness were eventually ousted by people countering their role-playing with their own, Chris has failed to learn and continues to leave the gates to his imaginary realm open to anyone who will validate his fantasies further.

===Property damage===
{{quote|My hands have punched that wall more than once in the past, yes. But it was part of the sequence of events at the time in practice of physically breaking the threads of the [[iron curtain]] veil.|Chris.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Upset at MLP G5]]</ref>}}

As of [[July 2021]], a bathroom in the Chandler home has damage to the drywall from being punched in. Chris stated that he had punched the wall in order to physically break the "[[Iron Curtain]]" - his term for a dimensional barrier between reality and his fantasy dimension [[C-197]].

<center><gallery>
File:Direct Message to Hasbro - MLPG5 Is Cancelled.-ay-NMiYIdGI.mp400002-min.png|[[Direct Message to Hasbro: MLPG5 Is Cancelled.|A video]] still showing the punched-in wall.
</gallery></center>

==Fantasy and fiction==
{{quote|You think that comic character wouldn't have its own thoughts and feelings?|Chris's question to [[Alec Benson Leary]].}}
{{quote|NO!|Alec's response.}}
{{quote|You are [[naïve]].|Chris's response to Alec.<ref name="ABL call 2">[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2]]</ref>}}
[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|right|thumb|The chances of this happening were staggering... [[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021|And one day, it did happen!]]]]

By the time the internet first discovered him circa 2007, Chris already held beliefs that CWCville and his imaginary friends were real, and that he had the power to curse people. Since then, as a maladaptive coping mechanism for his real-world life crumbling around him, Chris gradually took on larger-scale fantasies, such as [[Dimensions|parallel dimensions]].

=== CWCville ===

{{main|CWCville}}

CWCville is Chris’s original vision of an imaginary and idyllic fantasy world, where everything is built around his comfort and convenience, and where he enjoys great power with scant responsibility. Chris believes that CWCville is real, and uses the city as a way to “escape” from a world that does not [[Chris and his Ego|give Chris what he wants]]. CWCville was originally an infill city within the state of [[Virginia]], but it became part of the larger [[C-197|C-197 dimension]] when Chris started toying with the [[Dimensional Merge]].

All of Chris's characters are aware that Chris is the creator of their reality. Sonichu and Rosechu both refer to him as "father", in much the same way [[Chris and religion|a Christian might consider God to be his or her Creator]] (it is unknown if the comic exists in the universe of CWCville). Chris believes his characters possess the free will to make their own decisions and that he is not responsible for their actions. This is how various events, both major and minor, such as Sonichu and Rosechu's wedding, the birth of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|their children]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#Sonichu_and_Rosechu_from_1998_to_Today Sonichu Page on CWCipedia</ref> [[Kel]]'s romance with [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]],<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#First_Encounter_with_Naitsirhc</ref> and even [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]] and [[Blake]]'s wedding<ref>[[I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.286:02_to_9:34.29 I Am The TRUE, ORIGINAL CCWC]]</ref> are said to actually happen "off-screen", instead of just being a [[Chris and writing|spur-of-the-moment throwaway plot elements]] that Chris is [[stress|too lazy to depict]]. Without prior explanation, Chris made a "spoiler" in his own comic that [[Magi-Chan]] will eventually get together with [[Silvana]], implying that, in Chris's head, this has already "happened".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10/Page_37 Issue 10 Page 37</ref> It is [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|Slaweel Ryam]], not Chris, who apologizes for slandering [[Mary Lee Walsh]].<ref>[[Mary Lee Walsh#Possible reconciliation]]</ref> Chris once justified his refusal to write Simonla out of the comic by saying that she would not want to leave CWCville, and that she and [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]] would fight for her right to stay.<ref>[[Mailbag 43#...well, this is disturbing!]]</ref>

Chris considers everything drawn, written, or even said about CWCville to be canonical if he's the one stating it (regardless of contradictions) and feels it necessary to explain away undesirable changes to CWCville made as a result of outside influences (e.g. [[BILLY MAYS]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|as Mayor]]). The fact that he needs to explain this in his comic pages shows that he assumes everyone else shares this belief as well. Despite considering his own judgment infallible as applied to his own work, he forces [[Alec Benson Leary calls|others]] to accept the "corrections" he has made to theirs.

When the [[Asperpedia Four]] used systematic trolling to make Chris kill off the character [[Simonla Rosechu#Simonla as the Lynchpin|Simonla]], Chris viewed it as a deliberate attack on his fantasy world. CWCville, which had always been Chris's way of retreating from the real world, had been infiltrated by outside forces and was no longer impenetrable, so this is likely why Chris put the comic on hiatus: to stop outside forces from causing any more damage.

Chris's beliefs are such that he even claims to hold the distinction of Mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE".<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)]]</ref> He only admits that CWCville is not real when he intends to pacify others he sees as too slow in the mind to comprehend this idea. He most likely defends this belief because he has accomplished and produced virtually nothing worthwhile in his life, and he likes to pretend that he has made a positive impact on something, if only on a metaphysical level. In his opinion, anyone who does not accept this worldview is "[[Chris and hypocrisy|naïve]]".

On 23 July 2017, Chris responded to his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]], who wondered why Chris wouldn't reboot his comics. As a response, Chris explained that if he were to reboot his comics, that would mean that history in the canon would have to start all over again, and all of the characters would have to start over from their original origins. Essentially, he thinks that if he pulls the plug on his Sonichu franchise and reboots it, that would mean that [[Chris and death|all of his characters would die, and they would somehow reincarnate into their newer upgraded versions]].

{{quote|I believe in the alternate dimensions where each set or all of our animated characters reside and live their lives, and continue growing long after their series is finished (or stay kids; whatever).|Chris to [[Doopie]].<ref>[[Doopie E-mails#Hey, Danielle]]</ref>}}

=== Dimensions ===
{{main|Dimensions|Dimensional Merge}}

{{quote|the moment I brought up the multiverse, he listened.|The original [[Idea Guy]] on how he got Chris's attention.<ref name=IGQA></ref>}}

Chris’s belief in alternative dimensions enables him to disconnect from the poor and mundane life he currently resides in and to shift the responsibility for personality flaws to an alternative Chris.<ref>[[Live Reading of SNT Vs Sonichu, Part 2]]</ref> It gives him solace to believe that he, or other versions of himself, exist in other places where he is content, successful, and surrounded by characters and people who love him. The Idea Guys exploited Chris's nascent beliefs and desires on other dimensions and further shaped them as part of their cult-like grip over his beliefs.

The Dimensional Merge is Chris's ultimate escapist fantasy, enabling him to think he is powerful and wealthy, with real friends and a happy marriage, all just waiting for him on the other side of the "dimensional curtain". A concept originally created by the Idea Guys and later expanded on by Chris with the help of fantasy enablers, the Merge is his hope that the sister dimensions 1218 and C-197 will unify, with him overseeing the merge in his role as the goddess [[CPU Blue Heart]]. The dimension "1218" (sometimes referred to as "Earth 1218") is the dimension of reality. The dimension "C-197" is the designation for Chris's imaginary world, which contains all of his favorite fictional characters and [[OC]]s. The Merge was originally scheduled to be completed by the end of [[2018]], leaving behind a universe known as 1C-211987 with elements of both sister dimensions and enabling Chris to realize his dream of hanging out with Sonichu and his pals.

===Imaginary friends===
{{main|Imaginary friends}}

{{quote|And One Day, Very Soon, [[Polyamorous marriage|my family]] and I will be able to show ourselves to you all, then you will be taking back your own “scizzo” labels. Harrumph!|Chris, [[May 2018 social media posts#Imaginary family|vowing]] that we will see his characters in the flesh.}}

{{quote|When I look into the eyes of a Original or Fictional Character, I do not see Fiction at all; I see a full living being and individual. I see a friend, or lover in few cases.|Chris, [[April 2021 social media posts#Fictional characters|describing]] how he sees his characters as real.}}

[[File:ChrisOverhearingNightstar.png|thumb|Chris overhears a conversation held by his imaginary friend [[Night Star]].]]

In addition to CWCville, Chris's belief in imaginary friends is another major element of escapism. A mix of maladaptive coping and daydreaming, Chris believes that [[List of Sonichu characters|his characters]] actually exists in both [[C-197]] and [[Dancing with Magi-Chan|1218]], and that he can communicate with them via [[meditation]] sessions — in reality, conflating his inner monologue with imagined visions and voices of his fictional friends.

There are many instances of Chris trying to interact with his imaginary friends over the years, becoming more prevalent over time as his desire for escapism intensifies. Examples include [[Imaginary friends#Sonichu|his confrontation]] with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] in 2004, his [[Dancing with Magi-Chan|imaginary dance partner]] at the 2017 BronyCon gala, and social media messages near the end of the 2010s written either from a point of view of any of his [[OC]]s<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim|Twitter messages]] from @MagiChan111448, 26 June 2019.</ref> or in which he claims to be with any of them.<ref name=aug2019car>[[August 2019 social media posts#Chris caused a fender-bender and kicked a cop car; discovers he's blacklisted from Papa Johns|Twitter messages]] from @CPU_CWCSonichu, 5 August 2019.</ref>

In the fall of 2017, the Idea Guys role-played as Chris's own imaginary friends, giving Chris validation over his preexisting notions and further fueling his maladaptive behavior — such as by convincing Chris that his imaginary friends will be united with him in the [[Dimensional Merge]] and that he is married to several of them in a [[polyamorous marriage]].

===Magical thinking===
{{main|Magical thinking}}

{{quote|Quite frankly I believe you are wasting your time there are more productive things in life than levitating a pen put your energy into those.|Magician Uri Geller's advice for Chris, who had asked Uri for help training his psychic powers.<ref name=uri>[[Uri Geller#E-mails]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am Not wasting my time!|Chris's reply.}}

Chris's habit of magical thinking is another maladaptive coping method, manifesting in delusions of grandeur. Instead of putting in the effort to improve his own life, Chris prefers to believe that magic will do it for him. In addition, he believes that magic will allow him to neutralize his perceived enemies.

{{quote|I intend to do a LOT more good with my Psychic Powers to bring Peace and take down up to All of the Internet Haters and Bullies! I Need to do all these in my own control.|Chris<ref name=uri></ref>}}

Chris believes he has an array of magic powers. Most notable is the ability to [[curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] his enemies (as well as to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|undo it]]). Others include [[Sarah May Skype Logs|communicating with the dead]], [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|brainwashing people]], and [[psychic powers]].

===Superstitions===
[[Image:Chris_chan_and_reality_jpg.jpg|450px|thumb|left|{{w|The Shining (film)|"Great party, isn't it?"}}]]

While most of Chris's superstitions are his own, he also takes part in popular superstitions as well. Autistic people in general tend to be predisposed to wishful and magical thinking, finding superstitions to be comforting.

Chris dislikes the number 13 because he thinks it is an unlucky number: triskaidekaphobia (the fear of 13) is already a common American superstition, with {{w|Microsoft Office}} notably skipping version 13 during the development of Office 2010.<ref>Flynn, David, [https://web.archive.org/web/20090206073052/http://apcmag.com/microsoft_to_skip_unlucky_office_13.htm/ ‘Microsoft to skip "unlucky" Office 13’], ''Australian Personal Computer (APC)'', 29 March 2007 (accessed 6 May 2019).</ref> However, Chris's fear of the number 13 had an unusual effect on the numbering of the ''Sonichu'' comics, where ''Sonichu #13'' was numbered as [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] (showing his incompetency with either logic or [[math]])<ref>[[CLog 08142017 - More Positive Content|Captain’s Log, 14 August 2017 (''More Positive Content'')]].</ref> and where the Episode ''"One Lucky Dog"'' from [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]] was labeled "[[Sonichu 6#Episode 12.5: "One Lucky Dog"|Episode 12.5]]".<ref>[https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic7P1.htm Sonichu 6, Page 1.]</ref> On [[Twitter]], when going into multi-tweet rants, Chris numbers the tweets. For Twitter messages which exceed 12 tweets, Chris either replaces the number 13 with a repeated 12 or with 12-9.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1023969772168511488</ref><ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1006915844016869377</ref><ref>It should be noted that there are more sensible ways for avoiding the use of the number 13, even if it is necessary to maintain the consistency of numbering. They include:
* Renumbering 13 as 12A, 12½ or 12.5;
* Renumbering 13 as 12B, and renumber 12 as 12A.</ref>

Chris has also shown belief in astrology. He included his and [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah Hammer]]'s zodiac signs in the [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|Life-Shares]]. In his [[OkCupid]] profile, he wrote that his sign is "Pisces, and it's fun to think about". He wrote to [[Jessica Quinn]], "I am emotion-prone, and I tend to do as I feel and life flows, like the Pisces I was born under."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts]]</ref> One of the quotes on his first Facebook was "I was born under the Sign of PISCES, the sign of the PROVIDER. I am fully capable of providing the necessities, and then some, for the Lucky Woman who loves me for me, and becomes my True Sweetheart". His belief in star signs may explain why he holds such a high significance to his [[birthday]].

Chris places significance on his [[Amnyfest Ring|birthstone]], which he calls "[[Speech impediment|amnyfest]]". He believes the class ring with the stone is what gives him power, and even pointed it out to [[Emily]] on their date. More recently, he has attached an amethyst quartz crystal to his [[medallion]].

==In the real world==
===Science and technology===
{{main|Chris and science}}
{{quote|I do not even know of the symptoms, because, again, if I literally overthought about it, I would be at greater risk of infecting myself from reading and repeating the list in my mind. It’s Neurotypical and idiotic for anyone to do that and overthink it.|Chris rationalizes staying ignorant of the viral disease [[COVID-19‎‎]].<ref name=viral>[[March 2020 social media posts#Chris finally weighs in on the coronavirus pandemic]]</ref>}}

Chris seems completely unaware of what current technology is and is not capable of. In his [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu Sonichu article] on the [[CWCipedia]], he suggests that Nintendo pour their resources into developing a Poké Ball peripheral that would have slots for every generation of Pokémon games, including a slot for the GameCube memory card. He expects users of this peripheral to be able to read party data from the inserted game/memory card, display a holographic image of the Pokémon in play, and challenge people in real life who own the same peripheral (in a manner much like on ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]''). In addition, Chris has no idea how everyday machines such as [[Son-Chu|cars]] work, evidenced in how [[September 2014|he claimed]] that a 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block was a great "fixer-upper." Normally, any serious physical damage to a car's engine can only be repaired by a very skilled mechanic, or cannot be repaired at all, and one must buy a new engine (both of which are not cheap, but [[Chris and money|that's an entirely different problem]]).

Chris has also been shown to lack knowledge of basic pathology. When he contracted a cold in December 2019, he had misattributed it to the large-scale [[Chris and anger|triggering]] he got from a number of people on his Twitter.

===Social rules===
{{main|Dating education}}
Chris also obsesses over popular "rules" about relationships. He's held onto the idea that sex should be given on the [[third date]], as well as other [[How to Talk to Girls|overly generic]] dating advice.

Other "rules" Chris has culled from pop culture include superficial platitudes about decency, often expecting them to be valid in situations concerning others he has wronged. To name a specific example, besides emphatically claiming to be [[True and Honest]] and [[Chris and remorse|requesting]] [[Apology Letters|others]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|"forgive and forget"]], [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers|Chris once openly expressed a belief]] that learning morals about love and friendship from franchises like ''[[My Little Pony]]'' and ''[[Care Bears]]'' '''can prevent war''' (woefully unaware that the real world and human beings are many times more complex than what is portrayed in a cartoon for young children).

===Conspiracy theories===
{{main|Conspiracy theories}}

{{quote|I bet, even Greene County had something to do with influencing that goddamn Michael Snyder [...] to make him pretend to have a reason to kick me out|Chris blaming his school board for a decision made by a game store manager.<ref>[[Greene County Conspiracy]]</ref>}}

Chris and his parents have come up with several conspiracy theories to explain away his life problems. Notable examples are Chris [[Greene County Conspiracy|blaming his elementary school]] for keeping him in his autistic shell, his parents' notion that [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Megan Schroeder]] were masterminds behind the [[trolls]], and Chris's belief that Snyder caused his own injuries when Chris and his mother [[28 October 2011|hit him with their car]].

===Estimation===
{{Main|Mathematics}}
{{Quote|A [[Son-Chu|CAR]] WEIGHS A LOT MORE THAN 10 TONS|Chris, being unaware that most cars weigh two or three tons.<ref>[[Mailbag 9]]</ref>}}
Chris has a tendency to hugely exaggerate estimates of [[Duck|length]], [[White knight E-mails|weight]], and [[I AM STRONG|strength]] in his favor, as evidenced in his description of a [[11042009 51 50|12-pack of canned lemonade as being fifty pounds (22.7 kg)]]. This behavior is symptomatic of {{w|dyscalculia}}, a common symptom of autism, which leaves the sufferer with poor comprehension of time, measurement, or spatial reasoning. However, Chris does not really display any other symptoms of it, suggesting this behavior isn't mere ignorance, but rather Chris telling childish lies to try to impress people with his physical strength.

===Lack of theory of mind===
Chris has no idea what the billions of people on the planet think. He thinks that all men would happily wear [[Brassieres For Males|bras]] and skirts (It must be noted that Chris thought these ideas so that he and he alone would feel more comfortable [[Tomgirl Saga|crossdressing]]), and that every Sonic fan on the planet would support him in his [[Sonic Boom Protests]]. When somebody informs him that they have a different opinion from his, he throws a tantrum and denounces that person as a [[troll]]. While autistic people have long been stereotyped with a lack of theory of mind, research into the double empathy problem proves they don't necessarily lack it, though Chris definitely does – his actions speak for little, if any.

===Narcissistic tendencies===
{{main|Examples of Chris's Ego}}
Chris automatically assumes his lies will be believed, even if they contradict existing information. This is copiously evidenced in his constant [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] during the [[Father Call]], wherein Chris fibs incessantly about his [[Chris and health|health]] (among other things), frequently denying things or changing his story whenever he gets caught out. His habit of lying and lying about his lies is likely inherited from his mother, whom [[Cole Smithey E-mails|his brother described]] as a pathological liar. When asked by [[Evan]] to remove [[Simonla]] from his comics, Chris decided that he could have created her without the inspiration of Evan's character [[Simonchu]] and, thus, effectively had.<ref>[[Mailbag 44#I want to see Simonla die so very badly]]</ref> The fact that he [[Things Chris has ripped off|demonstrably could not have done this]] did not factor into his reasoning. Chris "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 3|corrected]]" Simonla's [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Simonla_Rosechu CWCipedia entry] with a "[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 4|retraction]]" denying that Simonla had ever been inspired by Simonchu. Chris expected that this revised version of the truth would be happily accepted by all concerned parties.

In addition to lies, Chris expects that any [[Chris and remorse|so-called "apology"]] will immediately change the minds of any perceived "enemy" of his, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows for him again. [[Chris_and_remorse#Index_of_Chris.27s_apologies|He has done this many times before]] [[Megan_emails,_2008#Megan_can.27t_trust_Chris_anymore|but]] [[Mailbag_26#Mary_Lee_Walsh_trolls_IRL|almost]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|always]] [[Apology Letters|not]] working out in his favor, especially considering his [[Chris and his ego|self-centered temperament]] and [[Chris and the law|generally nonchalant disregard for social etiquette]] are often what cause him trouble in the first place.

Later on, however, he opted for [[Unban contracts|a different approach in the form of contracts]]. In addition to (unwittingly) invalidating his own contract with a stipulation that store managers ''cannot hand him over to the police'', he proclaimed that refusal to let an individual with a history of belligerent and disruptive behavior run amok in a retail setting would prove a manager to be "most uncompassionate and lacking of heart and soul", even accusing them of potential discrimination simply because he identifies as an LGBT person.

Chris considers people with [[Asperger's syndrome]] to be "fakers" who are taking "the Shine and Limelight" away from genuine autistic people such as himself.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> Although Chris has admitted that this "fact" is only his "own idea," he still believes that to think otherwise is to [[Chris and religion|"conform to blasphem[y]."]]<ref>[[Autism Awareness E-mails]]</ref> As with many other things which antagonize him, Chris simply assumes Asperger's to be signs of a conspiracy targeting himself.

Unsurprisingly, Chris can come across as highly delusional when he expects to be taken seriously. For example, on 28 April 2012, he made an empty threat to the [[Kiwi Farms]] about hunting down each of its members; he claimed to know where each of them lived in an attempt to intimidate the trolls. Even if one were to gloss over the fact that he wouldn't even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|cough up $800 to travel to Redmond to see his dreams come true]] (and it should be noted that there are trolls all over America, and indeed the world), there's a high chance that there will only be one [[Kick the Autistic|outcome]] of Chris actively pursuing his trolls with the purpose of doing them harm. All things considered, Chris ended up making himself even more of a laughingstock in the process.

Like many of his worst flaws, this contributed to the biggest mess Chris had ever gotten himself into. In [[July 2021|July of 2021]], Chris felt a need to confide in someone that [[Affair with Mother|he was shagging his elderly mom]], after previously lying that he was with an anonymous older woman. For this, he chose [[Bella]], foolishly thinking he could trust her to keep the details secret, despite Chris confessing to the illegal act of incest, having been informed by [[Null]] she's an obvious troll ''and'' that he had suffered the consequences of [[Honest Content|oversharing personal information]] (multiple times) '''for years'''. Needless to say, [[Jail Saga|this caused a ruckus that ultimately led to Chris getting arrested]].

{{References}}

{{Chris and}}
{{Fantasies}}
{{Health}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Chris and nostalgia

2026-04-18T15:44:48Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Incomplete}}
[[Image:CWC12andson.jpg|thumb|[[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 2|Chris and Sonichu in the Good ol' days!]].]]

{{quote|I REALLY Miss the good times of those days.|Chris reminiscing on his High School days<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts##productofpublicschool]]</ref>}}

'''Nostalgia''' is a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for periods and/or places with happy personal associations. It is associated with a yearning for the past, its personalities, and events, particularly for the "[[Manchester High School|good old days]]" or [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|childhood events]].<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia</ref>

The foundation of much of [[Chris]]'s [[Adult Chronicles|adult life]] has been his fixation on the past, especially for [[Chris and brand loyalty|things that have had deep significance to his life]] in order to escape from the present, whether it be through [[My Little Pony|cartoons]], interacting with past [[gal pals]] and [[sweethearts]], or reminiscing past experiences with [[trolls]].

==Nostalgia in Chris's life==
Although viewed as a mental disease when it was first discovered, nostalgia, in the modern age, is seen as a natural, common, positive emotion for escaping the [[Chris and reality|confines of reality]]. Seeing how difficult it is for Chris to grasp reality as it is in its present, the way he grasps the past is unimaginably worse.

Chris's nostalgia comes from a wide variety of sources. It can be speculated that the main source of Chris's nostalgia in unhealthy amounts is his [[stress]]. At a psychological level, nostalgia is the result of negative feelings and results in an increase in one's positive emotions.<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostalgia#Improve_mood</ref> It can also be used as a coping mechanism for dealing with whatever stressful situation one may be in.

Given how Chris currently lives his life, constantly dealing with [[weens]], and being denied [[china]] by every girl he meets, Chris will sometimes use his past experiences in a strange way to relieve his stress. For example, at the end of the [[Jessica Quinn|Jessica]] [[saga]], Chris, feeling awfully depressed from losing his girlfriend for the umpteenth time, decided to contact [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] on her [[Facebook]], and hook up with her again,<ref>https://archive.md/Mtsr7</ref> even after having been accusing her of being behind his current situation for the past four years.<ref>[[Megan Schroeder#The Blame Game]]</ref>

Other times, Chris will hold onto past experiences that gave him grief. For example, before attempting to contact Megan ever again, Chris always held onto how Megan was somehow responsible for his problems in his life for supposedly leaking information about him on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] with [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]]. This attachment to such events can become so strong that eventually, Chris will [[Chris and anger|snap]] from all of the added stress. For example, in [[September 2013 Facebook Posts|several 2013 September Facebook posts]], Chris continuously curses Megan along with [[Michael Snyder|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|fruits]] of his bad memories.

==Anemoia: nostalgia for a time before Chris was born==
As with many people, Chris also experiences nostalgia for media released before he was born. Much like a modern kid who loves 80s music and will tell you all about how Queen is the best band on the planet, Chris has a liking for ''[[I Love Lucy]]'', ''[[Gilligan's Island]]'' and other media released during [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s time. This is common for people who spend more time around their parents than they do around their peers.

==Chris and his childhood==
When it comes to nostalgia, people tend to cherish it in order to relive a far simpler time – while this is perfectly normal in most people, Chris's obsession with his past takes this normal aspect of the human psyche and twists it to pathological degrees. Chris revels in his childhood memories and perusing child like fantasies to fill up the stressful parts of his life, purely to ignore them.

Well before Chris had achieved infamy online, Chris wrote [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares|a booklet]] as a birthday present for his childhood friend [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. In it, he fondly spoke of playing in her yard during their formative years but casually recollected when she locked him in her home's crawlspace (after tricking him into looking for Casper the Friendly Ghost) and doesn't mention a single moment in which she was nice to him at all. In contrast to how [[Chris and anger|he usually responds]] to being trolled (or at least slighted), he shrugged it off as kids doing silly things sometimes, likely because he preferred to selectively remember fun times he had with her.

After getting a bear hug at the 2018 [[MAGfest]] from a fan who lifted his 212+ pound body off the ground, Chris commented on the nostalgia he felt, saying, "Hey, did anyone get video or photo of @Spinalpalm hugging me and lifting me up high after the Panel? I would love to have that video to watch over and over. I never thought I could ever be lifted up high by anyone since I got too heavy for my parents."<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>

==Manchester High==
{{main|Manchester High School}}
[[File:Chris schooldesk drawing.jpg|thumb|A happy Chris at a schooldesk, drawn 17 years after he had graduated high school.<ref>[[December 2017 Facebook posts]]</ref>]]

Of all of the memories Chris holds dear, he seems to be most attached to his years in Manchester High School. It isn't too hard to see why; his years there were among the last when he frequently got out of his house and interacted in a social environment. This is best shown with the [[Greene County Conspiracy]] video, the Lego replica, and him wearing the jacket (as shown with the [[26 December 2014]] incident). He also purchased a school desk, which he uses as a workstation, allowing him to further transition back to his happiest years. For many years, he fixated on the idea of a high school reunion, but his numerous attempts at trying to hold one failed. Likely for the best, as the MHS of real life can't possibly compare with the one in his mind.

Like many people who overindulge in nostalgia, Chris has a rather warped view of his time at Manchester High in retrospect. He often looks back on it as a time when he was surrounded by friends and could have easily obtained the true love he seeks to this day, if only he had known how good he had it. In reality, his more down-to-earth recollections of high school paint a picture of Chris being bullied, fairly isolated and disengaged, with even his friends only really sticking around because the educational setting required them to.







==References==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:High School Saga]]
[[Category:Chris and...]]

Chris and mental healthcare

2026-04-18T14:44:22Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Dated|gender dysphoria, HRT/valium in meds section, and the effect jail has had on him}}

{{quote|My CURRENT [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]] can help me a LOT better than any "professional" because [[Chris and religion|God and Jesus]] supports them as well.|Chris, in 2008<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>}}

{{quote|I am only going to say this Once for those who may think me as delusional, crazy or shit like that. [[Chris and reality|I am Not delusional, crazy, or anything of the sort]].

I have my own magic powers that I am still learning about for myself from my [[Polyamorous marriage|family]] and [[Idea Guys|allies]].

I’ve already talked with psychiatrists and therapists years ago, so any new such meetings would be a very moot point.|Chris, 2018<ref name=notdelusional>[[July 2018 social media posts#Chris insists he isn't delusional, refuses to see a psychiatrist about it]]</ref>.}}

[[File:Cwcpaddedcell credit Un Platano.jpg|right|thumb|An artist's impression of [[Jail Saga#Transfer|part of Chris's time in jail]], due to [[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022|erratic behavior caused by mental health issues]].]]

[[Chris]] has a troubled relationship with '''mental health professionals'''; both psychologists and psychiatrists. He claims that he was held down by the school psychologist in grade school while his screams were recorded, and was forced to see a psychologist for anger management classes after being kicked out of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. Chris has refused to see a psychologist of his own volition in the past, opting to see [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor, instead. The sole exception occurred in 2016, when Chris went to a gender psychologist over his [[transgender]] issues. Chris's various run-ins with the [[law]] have resulted in mandated therapy such as the [[Therapeutic Docket]], however, Chris has failed to adjust his behavior from such sessions.

==The problem(s) with Chris==
[[File:Picasso.jpg|thumb|400px|An insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
[[File:AbstractMentalHealth.jpg|thumb|400px|Another insight into Chris's tortured psyche.]]
===In his own mind===
Chris claims to be [[autism|autistic]], [[Homos|homophobic]] as a genuine phobia,<ref>[[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself|Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007]]: '''Chris''': "I am a homophobe; I fear them all"</ref> and a victim of [[noviophobia]], a made-up phobia of girls having boyfriends. He also diagnosed himself with [[Wikipedia:Dissociative Identity Disorder|dissociative identity disorder]] in [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|the August 30th Captain's Log]], although he later revealed in [[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] that it was "a lie to momentarily derail the [[trolls]]." (Once again, Chris proved that he had no understanding of how serious mental disorders can be. Pretending to be crazy is an odd sort of [[wikipedia:Catch-22 (logic)|Catch-22]].)

It's no secret that Chris has always had a very childish mindset and views growing up as [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|some sort of epic, arduous challenge,]] but it wasn't until a [[Kacey Call 10|conversation with Kacey]] that we knew just how serious this was; according to Chris, as a child, he never had any serious idea of what he wanted to be when he grew up (something all healthy children consider at one point or another), nor did the thought of becoming an adult ever truly cross his mind. This implies that Chris may have thought that he would remain a child forever.

Chris also seems to be at a level of incompetence that prevents him from realizing how incompetent he is. A [[Wikipedia:Cornell University|Cornell University]] [http://people.psych.cornell.edu/~dunning/publications/pdf/unskilledandunaware.pdf psychology journal] details this phenomenon:

{{quote|...when people are incompetent in [[Attraction Sign|the strategies they adopt]] to achieve success and [[China|satisfaction]], they suffer a dual burden: Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of [[Naïve|the ability to to realize it.]]|A disturbingly accurate account of Chris’s reaction to [[Chris and reality|reality]]}}

===The 2004 survey===
{{Main|Autism}}
The psychiatrist who compiled [[autism papers|a survey]] of Chris's issues following his troubles at PVCC in [[2004]] echoed the diagnosis of autism that Chris received sometime in his youth, and took note of "an obsessional quality to his preoccupation with finding a girlfriend." He also administered a [[Wikipedia:Folstein test|Folstein test]], a brief questionnaire designed to detect cognitive impairment. Chris racked up a perfect score, indicating no problems with his memory or basic information processing abilities. On the [[Wikipedia:Global Assessment of Functioning|Global Assessment of Functioning]], the doctor rated Chris a 70, roughly halfway between an average adult and someone with socially debilitating mental illness.

===Late-onset gender dysphoria===
{{Main|Gender dysphoria}}
{{Incomplete}}

==Past instances of professional help (or lack thereof)==
One of the most frustrating elements of Chris is his adamant refusal to take help from any source. In the aftermath of his suspension from PVCC, his evaluators [[Autism papers|repeatedly recommended]] further counseling and psychiatric treatment, but Chris and his parents refused. It seems that [[Borb]] thinks that the world of mental health hasn't evolved past the turn-of-the-century treatment of straitjackets and lobotomies. The only thing close to therapy that Chris has ever had was a compulsory anger management class, and we all know [[Chris and anger|how much good that did]]. About the only authority figure he listened to was [[Rocky Shoemaker]], his pastoral counselor; he claimed that he had no need for psychotherapy because his pastor is better at helping him than anyone with, you know, years of training and experience in helping people with psychiatric problems.<ref>[[Mumble 3]]</ref> Chris and Rocky parted ways around [[2011]]. He's shown repeated disregard for the authority of health professionals.<ref>[[Mailbag_2#In which Chris acts superior to an experienced Doctor|Mailbag #2]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag_4#Chris the close-minded|Mailbag #4]]</ref> It is suspected that, even if Chris received professional help, he would disregard most of it and undermine the therapy.

It seems Chris only acknowledges his personal flaws if they get him pity or to demonstrate that he's beaten them already. Notice how often Chris claims to have won the battle over autism,<ref>Example: [[Sarah Reveals Herself#Chris is over his autism|Sarah May Chat]]</ref> only to fall back on "I have autism!" as an excuse.<ref>Example: [[Father Call]]</ref> Similarly, he wrote ''[[Nintendo Power Magazine]]'' to tell them he conquered his noviophobia, only to say later that his fear "came back like a boomerang."<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchusNews8.htm</ref>

Regardless of how blatantly stupid his actions are; regardless of how often trolls ([[BlueSpike|including a thirteen-year-old]] and con artists such as the [[Idea Guys]]) trick him into doing horrible, horrible things; regardless of how any mental health worker worth their salt would pin Chris down like a butterfly to get a chance to crack open his impenetrable shell of fail, Chris will carry on as usual, justifying away everything that would inconvenience him even slightly.

Chris has no problem telling ''other'' people to seek professional help, however. In the [[Mailbag]], he has occasionally responded to his detractors with retorts like [[Chris and hypocrisy|"Go See a Psychiatrist."]]<ref>[[Mailbag_35#Funny, that's the same advice we keep giving Chris|Mailbag #35]]</ref> Funnily enough, were Chris to ever see a psychoanalyst, he or she would probably see this as classic [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection Freudian projection].

===[[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]]===
When Chris attended NGES, there was an incident where he was supposedly restrained or molested, depending on whom you talk to. It has been claimed by Bob that they wanted to send Chris to an "institution." What they meant was likely a place where Chris could see professionals who could work with Chris's problems as opposed to teachers who deal with normal students. What Bob probably thought is he would be sent to a nuthouse. Either way, something that could have done some good in his early development didn't happen.

===[[Mary Lee Walsh]]===
Although not a mental health professional, Walsh has experience in dealing with a large body of students and their individual problems. She has also [http://www.bookfinder.com/dir/i/The_Freshman_Experience-Creating_College_Success_Piedmont_Virginia_Community/0787288381/ written a book on coping with college life]. Despite her advanced knowledge and experience, Chris chose the better path of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursing her]] and putting her low on his [[Scale of Respect]].

===Psychiatric Papers===
Following his outburst towards Mary Lee Walsh, Chris was sent to a psychiatrist for evaluation. The resulting papers easily show a number of things, most of which can easily be told by trolls themselves. Another interesting thing is that, despite the encouragement to follow up on this, Chris's parents refuse to on the account of [[Chris and money|insurance problems]].

The documents note that at some point, Chris received a psychiatric evaluation at the Center for Learning Potential in Mount Sidney, Virginia (a small town in northeast Augusta County that's 50 miles west of his Ruckersville home). They don't say when this took place, but given the location of the Center, it was likely either during his elementary school years or sometime after the Chandlers moved back to Charlottesville in the summer of 2000.

===Anger management and the shrink===
Following his encounter with Mary Lee Walsh, he was ordered to take anger management classes.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> The only thing that seemed to arise from it was complaints that he had to pay to see a professional, and... Well... He still can't control his anger. There's very little information about his anger management classes, as they occurred in the pre-[[ED]] days, and are only mentioned in a few old documents of Chris's that have surfaced. He's never really talked about it since, and it's never come up in comics or videos.

===Rocky Shoemaker===
Religious institutions are fond of providing spiritual counseling services to all members of their congregations, sometimes unwisely as a method of hammering them with doctrine to solve their problems, sometimes beneficially by giving them a person to talk to for free and referring them to a real professional if necessary. Whether Rocky is generally beneficial or harmful to the people who come to see her is uncertain, but she [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 is certainly admired for her past work]. What remains certain is that she was not the best solution for Chris because...
#She is not a licensed counselor and as such, is unable to offer professional advice.
#He barely listened to '''anything''' she says anyway.
#She was not qualified, much less experienced in advising a mentally disturbed individual such as Chris
#When he listened, he misconstrued everything she said, accepting advice he liked and ignoring advice he didn't like. She told him about his past habits being unacceptable, but Chris remained as determined as ever to be a total idiot. Although she put a stop to trolling plans, [[Fridays After Five|his behavior remained the same]]. She also told him it would be a good idea to stop posting videos on YouTube, since they only feed the trolls. [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|That hasn't]] [[100 2178|really worked]] [[100 2188|out now]], [[100 2189|has it]]?
#Chris doesn't want help regardless, only validation.

About the only thing that he took away from their sessions is that [[Chris_and_sex#Moral_basis_on_sex_and_double_standards|he can fuck someone before they are married]].

[[Image:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|left|What do you get [[Dimensional Merge|when you cross]] a [[Slow-in-the-minds|mentally-ill]] [[Chris and socialization|loner]] with [[CWCville|a society]] [[Kick the Autistic|that abandons him and treats him like trash]]? [[26 December 2014|You get what]] [[100 2267|you fucking deserve]]!]]

===Relationship Management Classes===
Chris mentioned in a [[Addressing_Liquid#Video|video]] from October 2009 and told [[Kacey]] in [[Kacey_Call_22|a phone call]] in September 2009 that he had been taking some relationship management classes. Undoubtedly, Chris felt that he had found some form of real life [[Dating education|date ed]]. In reality, Chris came upon a class meant for couples who wanted to ''manage their already established relationships'' as opposed to finding out how to get into one.

===Court-mandated therapy from 2011 assault-and-battery case===
The conditions of Chris's plea bargain in [[July 2012]] required him to undergo psychiatric treatment and evaluation, but it seems to have had little effect.

===Court-mandated therapy from the 2014 pepper spray case===
Chris makes mention of therapy in his video [[Group Embargo on GameStop, Best Buy, and Simon Shopping Centers]] and it was also reported by observers viewing his July 23 court hearing. The mental health group he attended was On Our Own of Charlottesville.<ref>https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/activity/926374040790409</ref>

===Gender psychologist===
During 2016, Chris met with a gender psychologist who affirmed to him that he is [[transgender]].<ref>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional vouch that the patient is in gender transition on this form. Also mentioned by Chris in a [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]] page</ref>

===Transgender support group===
In [[September 2017]], Chris mentioned to an interview that he had found a local support group for [[transgender]] people in [[Charlottesville]] and was meeting once a month.<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge 4 - Chris Chan (unused version)#Therapy (1:08:36-1:09:56)]]</ref>

===Court-mandated therapy from the 2018 mall trespass case===
Chris was directed to the [[Therapeutic Docket]] program and required to meet with a psychiatrist and therapy group between [[July 2018]] and [[April 2019]]. However, he failed to benefit from the resources, instead retreating further into his imaginary world and the bad actors validating his beliefs.

===DR Wolf===
Chris acted out a therapy session with fictional [[MLP|Brony]] character [[DRWolf]] in the February 2019 video [[A Moment With Dr Wolf Chris Chan and Greater Struggles]].

===Western State Hospital===
On 28 [[February 2022]], Chris was transferred from [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]] to [[Western State Hospital]]. While details were initially scarce, Chris eventually confirmed he had been sent there to make him sufficiently competent to stand trial.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 June 2022]]</ref>

Notably, the day before Chris returned to jail, staff members pinned him to the floor, which reminded him of a similar incident at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]].<ref>[[Jail Letter - 1 June 2022]]</ref> He has gone on record to state that if they aren't wiped out by the [[Dimensional Merge]], he would sue the mental hospital in retribution.

Later on, Chris claimed that Western State Hospital was expected to place him in a group home but instead sent him back to jail, allegedly to "free up a room". Once again, he accused hospital staff of being "Abusive As Fuck" and "arrogantly shit-minded with their patients".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022]]</ref> Whether or not any of this is true, given [[List of Chris's lies|Chris is a known liar]], has yet to be proven.

===Gateway Homes===
{{Main|Gateway Homes}}

{{references}}

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Autism papers]]
* [[Asperger's syndrome]]
* [[Dreams]]

===CWCki user essays===
These essays speculate about Chris's undiagnosed problems.

* [[User:Hayate666/narcissism]]
* [[User:Ronichu/Babble#Conspiracy Theories]]
* [[User:SandwichSonichu/Defense mechanisms]]

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and manipulation

2026-04-18T14:37:50Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{quote|For every trolling saga, there was a bunch of stuff happening in the background. [Chris's] reactions on youtube were highly inflated by troll girlfriends whispering shit to him behind the scenes. "Oh Chris, you're not just going to take that, are you? Chris, I need a man who can stand up for himself, not just a little wuss..." It takes quite a bit to whip Chris up into a frenzy. And it's hard to keep it going.|[[The Man in the Pickle Suit]] on how trolls manipulated Chris into performing in many of his rage videos.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Marvin on how the Miscreants trolled Chris]]</ref>}}

{{quote|something like 90% of what got Chris to make the videos he did was never made public.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Marvin on lost content regarding the trolling of Chris]]</ref>}}

[[File:TheChrisChanShow.png|300px|thumb|A sneak peek of ''The Chris-Chan Show''.]]

'''Manipulation''' is a psychological tactic aimed at taking advantage of someone in order for them to perform a specific action. This has been a key technique used by Chris's [[trolls]], his [[enablers]], and his [[mother]].

==Behind the scenes of trolling==
{{quote|Trolling is necessary for Chris to be as funny as everyone expects him to be. People don't like to hear this because they want to believe Chris is a crazy, three ring circus of fun, 24/7. But he's really not. He's got his moments, but he's a phenomenon that needs to be curated if you want to experience the old school trolling days.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-3601927</ref>}}

One of Chris's former trolls, [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]], has often posted on [[Kiwi Farms]] describing how trolls manipulated Chris behind the scenes. Hundreds of hours worth of calls between Chris and the trolls took place - much of it never released.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-never-ceases-to-amaze-you-about-chris.14928/post-1143244</ref> Information was also omitted on the [[CWCki]], which several trolls were members of, to paint a funnier picture of Chris; a side-effect of which has created a skewed impression of him to fans. Trolls would intentionally obscure their true identities, even from each other, and many would even change core details to further confuse those who seek to [[dox]] them. For example, [[Clyde Cash]] was originally meant to be a plain-but-successful Asian American guy, but this image was later replaced with a ''guido'' stereotype, and everyone went along with it.

In the background calls, people would plant ideas in Chris's head and goad him into making videos. One such example is [[Twin Falling Towers]], a 2009 video in which Chris invoked the 9/11 tragedy to diss Clyde Cash. The Man in the Pickle Suit described how the trolls talked to Chris behind the scenes to get him to make the video as:

{{quoteboxgreen|be sure to mention that you think he's weak! call him weak, like some sort of big disaster, like a bridge collapsing. ooh, or compare him to 9/11! that'll embarrass him!<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/idea-guy-joshua-wise-manipulating-the-intellecutally-disabled-for-fun-megathread.37132/post-2831215</ref>}}

For a decade or so, people assumed he came up with the 9/11 video on his own volition, painting an image of an [[USA|unpatriotic]] ingrate. It didn't help that his apology video involved photoshopping the Twin Towers into candles, basically depicting the buildings on fire. Whether this apology video was staged or not is unknown. Later, [[Kacey]]'s father brought up the video in the infamous [[Father Call]], claiming he had to dig his mother out of the towers' remains.

Other examples include [[CWC Calls Out Three Naïve YouTubers]], a set of videos in which Chris lambasted fan Sonichuizcool (trolls had planted the idea in his head that she was secretly a troll)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-made-you-most-angry-at-chris.1638/page-4#post-100715</ref>; the [[Cwcsicle]] video in which he jammed his penis in the snow<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-if.662/post-281887</ref>; and the [[Liquid Chris]] saga (Chris originally didn't want to react to Liquid, but the trolls forced his hand with artificial reasons)<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-2787176</ref>

Trolls also exploited their knowledge of Chris's psychology to goad him to get angry in his videos:

{{quoteboxgreen|Chris usually reacts to a specific stimulus, and has a short memory about those sorts of things. Like a goldfish. So in any video where Chris is specifically trying to act like Johnny Bravo, that was almost always in response to a request by us no older than 24 hours. We would hype Chris up about how he's being called a pussy, and how if he doesn't make a video soon, he'll lose the rights to Sonichu.<ref name=hype>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/24-julay-2016-taint-megathread.22839/post-1777477</ref>}}

The difference in style between videos produced by trolls and videos Chris records on his own initiative supports the point. Troll-produced videos tend to be short, succinct, and feature Chris making a fool of himself. Chris recording on his own tends to bore his audience by rambling about his own interests like toys or his fantasy world.

===The Truman Show===
[[File:16-17_08_11_Trollsome_scheming.jpg|thumb|[[Surfshack_Tito_(troll)|Surfshack Tito]] and another troll devise a new plan in which animators want to make a Sonichu cartoon in order to get him to write a script.]]

Chris's situation with the trolls has been compared to ''[[wikipedia:The Truman Show|The Truman Show]]'', a fictional film in which the main character is unaware he is living in a reality TV show, surrounded by improv actors, hidden cameras, and a conspiracy to hide the reality of a controlled environment. Chris's situation reflects Truman's, as he has been manipulated by trolls for the sole purpose of making him into a spectacle for online mockery, and many of his ostensibly private interactions have been unwittingly shared with the world. The only real difference is that Chris installed the [[PSEye|cameras]] himself.

Similar to how actors populate Truman's world while posing as trusted loved ones, undercover trolls posed as Chris's friends for years. They controlled access to Chris - when one sweetheart saga ended, another potential sweetheart would contact Chris, and he would ask his "friends" to vet them. The undercover trolls would confirm to Chris that the sweetheart could be trusted, thus continuing the cycle of trolling.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.49854/post-1927508</ref><ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-chris-updates.23605/post-2923839</ref>

One such undercover troll is [[LoveYouLongTime]], the woman behind [[Emily]],<ref name=lylt>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Multiple Roles and Facial Blindness]]</ref> [[Kim Wilson]],<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Emily and Kim Personas]]</ref> and several other undisclosed personas. She lives locally to Chris, and she has met him in real life where she has gained his trust. Due to the severity of Chris's [[autism]]-related [[facial blindness]], he was unable to recognize her face whenever she would meet him in town.<ref name=lylt></ref> She then exploited this weakness to trick Chris into believing he has multiple gal-pals he can trust when, in reality, all are played by a single undercover troll.

===Boiling frog fable===
In the years post-2011, Chris has become increasingly vulnerable to the concept of '[[wikipedia:creeping normality|creeping normality]]', often represented through the fable of the boiling frog, which states that by slowly heating a pot of water with a frog inside to a boil, the frog will not recognize itself being cooked alive, as opposed to immediately tossing it in the boiling water, in which case it would [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|quickly jump out]]. In a manner similar to the boiling frog, Chris is increasingly unable to recognize when he is the target of manipulation without being told outright by others that said manipulation has taken place. In 2018, the [[Idea Guys]] manipulated Chris in ways darker than had ever been attempted before, including systematically dismantling [[CWCVille|his imaginary world]] and [[Sonichu (species)|its cast]] [[Rosechu (species)|of characters]], engaging in criminal extortion against him, and accusing Chris of [[Pedofork|pedophilia]] if he didn't play along with them (see "Overview" section). Chris was gaslit to the point of completely believing everything the Idea Guys said to him.

While the efforts of the [[Guard Dogs]] minimally restored Chris's self-awareness to the point that he will level angry asides at the Idea Guys for their extortion in his videos, as demonstrated in those during the [[Soft Exile]] saga, Chris still wholeheartedly believes in modifications the Idea Guys made to both the Sonichu canon and real world aspects of Chris's life. He appears from the outside to be no longer able to discern this 'new normal' from that which came before it, thus being affected by creeping normality.

===Social engineering===
{{quote|Chris believes in crazy tv hacker stereotypes. That's why we always so easily told him we hacked into his phone or his email and blamed all our leaks on that. Our various troll girlfriends got away, scot-free.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/minor-victories-for-chris.2503/post-151544</ref>}}

Trolls exploit Chris's [[naive]] nature to gain access to his accounts in order to leak emails or videos. After gaining Chris's trust via an internet persona, they would ask for access to Chris's accounts and blame the resulting trolling on hackers. Chris would then change his password while simply handing the e-girlfriend/Sonichu character the new one since he still trusted them.

This practice came to a farcical head during the [[Teen Troon Squad]] saga, when the Squad and [[Guard Dogs]] factions engaged in a tug-of-war over Chris. The Squad would log into Chris's accounts and post "information" from [[Magi-Chan]] about the [[Dimensional Merge]], and the Guard Dogs, also having Chris's passwords, countered with their own "information" trying to lead Chris away from thinking about the Merge. This conflict caused confusion in Chris, who wanted to trust both sides.

===Blocking help===
[[Marvin]] explained how the [[Miscreants]] group of trolls had isolated Chris from help:

{{quoteboxgreen|White knights were subverted. Their messages blocked, deleted before Chris could see them. If they got through, trolls would leak their conversations with Chris and accuse the helper of being the culprit. Trolls had a vise-like grip on Chris and that only loosened when they willingly gave up when Bob died. [...]

But even if the conversation of who is or isn't a troll comes up with Chris, he's still not playing on level ground.

Someone accuses Julie of being a troll. Julie says she's not a troll. Who should Chris pick?

What if it's two people saying Julie's not a troll? Three? Four? Some of Chris' IRL friends saying she's not a troll? Almost every person in his life?

When people try to help Chris, he's not knowingly throwing that help away. He cannot identify help. There's a platter with 20 different options, and one of those options is help, the rest are people trying to fuck him over.

The numbers are not in Chris' favor.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/video-of-chris-at-lukass-house.51525/post-4134037</ref>}}

===Chris in-between the trolling===
{{quote|Without stimuli like the trolls [goading him to get angry], Chris just kind of fell back into his natural state: being a manchild, playing with toys, and wanting his heartsweet to take care of him.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref name=hype></ref>}}

Since his discovery by the internet in [[2007]], there have been times when activity fell to the point that Chris was temporarily without manipulation from trolls or enablers. Left to his own devices, Chris would drop off the internet and concentrate on the real world instead.

{{quote|We held him online. If someone's not actively compelling Chris to do stupid stuff online, he slides off.|The Man in the Pickle Suit<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/search/2705605/?q=slides&c[users]=Marvin&o=relevance</ref>}}

[[File:Facebook post 9 June 2012.png|thumb|200px|Chris experiencing anxiety and paranoia nearly a year after the classic troll conspirators released him from his Truman Show experience.]]

An example of this can be seen in Chris's internet activity following his [[father]]'s death. At that point, the classic troll cabal voluntarily relinquished its control over Chris to allow him to grieve. As a direct result, Chris stopped recording wacky videos online (hence the abrupt end of the [[Calling Out]] saga).

The troll experience has left Chris with lingering suspicion and paranoia as to the motives of others, and he has occasionally posted on social media channels about how he suspects people offline of being trolls, albeit without any real evidence. Chris gradually socialized in the real world again, such as hanging out at the [[Impulse Gay Social Club]] and with his [[Pokémon League friends]], although this respite was interspersed with the beginning of modern trolls such as [[Catherine]] and the [[Lady Managers]] who, again, manipulated Chris back into his Truman Show existence.

The [[Business]], [[Financhu Crisis]], and [[Idea Guys]] sagas were a paradigm shift from Chris's tendency to slide offline without troll influence to a new Chris, increasingly online by his own volition.

==Chris's mother==
[[Barb]] is often blamed for being Chris’s original and most persistent [[enabler]], and it is likely that her coddling gave Chris his [[Chris and his ego|puerile and egocentric attitude]]. She is also deemed by Christorians to be the one responsible for Chris constantly taking orders from random strangers without giving it a second thought. In the past, some of Barb's attempts at controlling Chris were nothing short of outright emotional abuse. Examples include threatening to lock Chris out of the house and leave him homeless if he dared travel further than a few miles out of town after the [[Ohio Trip]], as well as feigning cardiac arrest to bring Chris into line, terrifying him to the point of calling 911 on several occasions.<ref>Comments from Marvin on Kiwi Farms, gone when the site was taken down.</ref>

Perhaps the most notable incident involving this sort of manipulation took place in 2011; Chris had planned to visit that year's [[MAGfest]] convention, but realized that he didn't have enough of his [[monthly tugboat]] left to afford a hotel room, so he instead opted to sleep in his car. After informing his parents of his plans, Barb gaslit him into backpedalling, firstly by claiming he could be at risk from a combination of criminals and cold temperatures, then by again threatening to leave him homeless, and finally by implying that she would [[Chris and Death|commit suicide]] if Chris went to the convention. A distraught Chris cancelled his plans and received only further guilt tripping (and a [[Video games|video game]]) as consolation.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref>

==Manipulation techniques==
{{Protip|The methods listed here are for documenting common techniques used by trolls. Do not attempt any of these.}}

As shown above, after gaining Chris's trust, it isn’t particularly difficult to get him to do many things he wouldn't normally do. There is a three-step process that most trolls and enablers use:

#'''Appeasement''': Give Chris an offer for something he’d really want or feed into Chris’s beliefs.
#'''Instructions''': Provide Chris with over-the-top steps he can take to take the offer or so that he can roleplay with you.
#'''Betrayal''': Watch him do it, and betray him. Then watch the result of said betrayal. Rinse, Dry, and Repeat.

As an example, Chris’s history of being manipulated began with him being tricked into crawling into a tight space by childhood friend [[Sarah Hammer]] when she told him that she found Casper the Friendly Ghost there. Sarah simply noticed that Chris had a fascination with cartoon characters being real, and knew this was the perfect opportunity to give Chris the offer of meeting him in person ('''Appeasement'''). She then told him that he could see Casper if he crawled into the hole ('''Instructions'''). Finally, she locked him in and began watching the events that would follow ('''Betrayal''').

During the [[Saga|Classic Era]], this technique would be used by many trolls, such as [[Blanca Weiss]], [[Clyde Cash]], [[Liquid Chris]], and even [[Shigeru Miyamoto|a bunch of trolls posing as Nintendo Staff]]. In the case of Blanca, the trolls behind the pseudonym simply realized that Chris really wanted a significant other to complete his [[Love Quest]] and finally get some [[china]], so they used Chris's desperate pleas to complete this mission to obtain his medallions ('''Appeasement'''). Afterwards, they insisted that Chris give them the medallion if he wanted Blanca for himself ('''Instructions'''). Finally, they destroy the medallion in many ways, from cutting it with a knife and hitting it with a hammer, to setting it on fire and submerging the broken pieces into a jar of pickles ('''Betrayal''').

The most illegal and life-changing use of this technique to date is from Chris's most infamous enablers, the [[Idea Guys]]. After a long string of supernatural beliefs and creepy behaviors being displayed by Chris during his comeback, a troll by the name of Joshua Wise noticed his complete lack of self-awareness and wanted to see how deep the rabbit hole would go. Wise would then appeal to many of Chris's fantasies by roleplaying as several of his characters ('''Appeasement'''). Afterwards, he tasked him to do a number of nonsensical tasks such as having him lick a drawing of Magi-chain's penis on a wall, and having him destroy a Christmas tree, telling him it was Nazi merchandise ('''Instructions'''). The Betrayal part of this would come from the proposed humiliation that Chris would subject himself to. Even after he was doxed and shut down for a while, he (along with several others), would use this technique repeatedly until they went as far as extorting large sums of money from him and falsely reporting him to the FBI for being a pedophile, among other things ('''Betrayal''').

A less common means that people have found to manipulate him is through this same process but in reverse. This method is a favorite among his mother.

#'''Threats''': Tell Chris that if he does or does not do something, you will do something undesirable that will happen to him.
#'''Instructions''': Tell him that, in order to prevent the undesirable thing from happening, he has to cancel all plans and instead take part in someone else's whims.
#'''Betrayal/Reward''': Reward him for doing what he has been told to further strengthen his trust in you. Or, you can just betray him anyway. Rinse, Dry, and Repeat.

===Validation===
Some manipulation involves giving Chris validation over his pre-existing feelings and beliefs, which influences him further. Examples include the unknown enabler who told him to get in touch with his feminine side and influenced him into identifying as a [[tomgirl]]; the [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos, and the people who commented in them, who influenced Chris into [[Self-inflicted taint wound|believing his taint was transforming into a vagina]]; and the [[Idea Guys]], who exploited his beliefs about alternate [[dimensions]] in order to influence and shape those beliefs further, culminating in Chris's pseudo-religious belief over the [[Dimensional Merge]].

==Reasons why Chris is so gullible==
===Mental Deficiencies===
A common aspect of [[autism]] spectrum conditions is an increased level of gullibility; those on the spectrum are often more openly trusting of others, willing to put aside suspicion to follow what someone says, even in situations which could put them at risk. Chris also appears to have some degree of both [[wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|face blindness]] and [[wikipedia:Phonagnosia|difficulty recognizing voices]], which are also common (though not universal) autism symptoms.

Chris has been fooled by numerous personas operated by the same person; an example of this is Chris wholeheartedly believing the person behind [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the [[Calling out]] Saga to be Ahuviya Harel (ADF), even though the two neither sounded nor looked alike, as well as Chris believing [[Kim Wilson]] to be a different person from [[Emily]], even though the latter presented herself to Chris as the former on several occasions, even in face to face meetings where Chris should have been able to tell the difference had he not been experiencing this impaired recognition. Furthermore, [[Julie]] was a 13-year-old boy using an obvious falsetto voice, yet Chris believed "her" to sound 100% female, even when [[BlueSpike|the actor]] forgot to mask his voice.

===Enablers & Lack of Independence===
Chris isn't very independent. He relies on the [[tugboat|government]] and his [[Barb|mother]] to pay the bills, and still ends up in [[debt]]. While he has made [[Pokémon League friends|real-life friends]] in the past, the [[Idea Guys]] saga led him to alienate them in mid-[[2018]]. Nowadays, he prefers to surround himself with online [[enablers]] who play into his every escapist fantasy, in turn gaining his trust. Chris's dependence on other people, especially his enablers, has actually made him more susceptible to being manipulated, as all of his trust is simply put into them without any second thoughts. He is also highly susceptible to peer pressure and fitting in with others' opinions.

Chris’s gullible, overly trusting nature and desire for contact mean that he has often been drawn to consider others friends, even if they’re acquaintances at best or simply attempting to get close for malicious reasons at worst. Even though he would often curse and even wish death on trolls, in recorded voice chats with them he would often appear to be quite receptive and active in such conversations, as long as the others did not cross the “Hurtful Truth Level”, in which case he would become hostile in return. From an outside perspective, Chris’s isolation has also resulted in making him vulnerable to manipulation techniques as a result of his attempts at seeking out people beyond the hoard-choked halls of [[14BC]].

===Lack of Self-Awareness===
Chris lacks self-awareness and a sense of boundaries, whether for himself or for others. He has no filter, a trait which he calls [[Honest Content|honesty]]. He will tell you embarrassing, private matters when you first meet him, including his former [[virgin]]ity, his story about how pinkeye gave him [[heterochromia|differently-colored eyes]], and even his tendency to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]]. Once someone gains his trust, he will reveal even more personal information, most of which an average person wouldn't even reveal to a psychologist. Trolls collate the information and leak it to the general public, where it ends up on [[Kiwi Farms|forums]], YouTube videos, and this fine Wiki.

This lack of self-awareness may also be another symptom of his autism. Usually, this manifests as generally innocuous things, like being unable to regulate the volume of one's voice to match the social setting, or being unable to recognize non-verbal social cues when communicating with other people. In more severe cases like Chris however, his lack of social awareness can come across as [[Megan emails, Jan-July 2007|tone-deaf]] at best, or [[Megan emails, 2008|a threat to one's safety]] at worst. Normally, this lack of self-awareness in a social sense can be minimized or outright "cured" with the proper resources (e.g. special education and the right therapist), [[Chris and mental healthcare|but we all know how that turned out]].

===His Self-Entitlement===

Another massive flaw that makes Chris easy to manipulate is his [[Chris and his Ego|egotism]] and resulting entitlement, so long as he takes a procedure or simply whines about it long enough. Many of the cases where he had been manipulated involved the manipulator noticing this fundamental character flaw, and therefore bribing him with gifts and promises of self-fulfillment. The bribes could be anything from promises of romance to a [[Miyamoto|video game publishing deal]] – as long as it's something Chris wants, trolls will use it as bait. However, this also has a tendency to backfire, as Chris always believes he is entitled to more, and will take a gift and then turn around and ask for another.

===General Short-sightedness===

Chris repeatedly falls victim to the SuperStraight effect, where someone will provide a quick rebuttal to a point and lose ground to the wider argument. In SuperStraight's case, they inadvertently corroborated the claims that trans women are women by creating a separate sexuality from straight for those who aren't attracted to them. Likewise, Chris will regularly talk himself into various corners by agreeing to various outlandish claims merely because he was pressured to accept certain points as fact to continue the conversation. This is how you can get him to finally admit Liquid's [[Honest content | TRUE and honest]] name really is "Chris" and not "Jeff", then "[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]", then "Christian Weston Chandler" (but he was given that name and not renamed by an [[Christopher's name change | animatronic bear]]), and so on theoretically forever.

==See Also==
*[[Enablers]]
*[[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris]]
*[[Trolls]]

==References==
<references/>

{{Trolls}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Trolling]]

Chris and coping

2026-04-18T14:16:38Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{HealthDisclosure}}

[[File:Psychic Type Talk.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris coped during the [[Idea Guys]] saga by mentally retreating to his fantasy world and hanging out with his [[imaginary friends]].]]

'''Coping''' is the act of minimizing the impact of [[stress]] and problems in life, and a fundamental part of the brain's ability to function and handle [[stress]]ful or upsetting situations. In order to intentionally avoid any and all unpleasant realities, Chris takes coping to unhealthy levels. People cope using multiple ways that help reduce stress and increase performance. Chris however, uses coping mechanisms such as escapism and nostalgia, which are known to be forms of [[wikipedia:Coping#Negative techniques (maladaptive coping or non-coping)|maladaptive coping]], and gets absolutely nothing done. Chris can easily be considered the king of escapism, as he does everything he can to avoid dealing with the harsh realities of his life.

==Overview==
Most people cope with stress using a variety of methods, including but not limited to [[Meditation|meditating]], [[Discord|talking with friends]], [[Biological clock|sleeping]], [[Obesity|eating]], or playing [[video games]]. Chris did these, as well as using some maladaptive coping mechanisms such as escapism and nostalgia. These tools, in moderation, can relieve stress, but Chris takes them to unhealthy levels. Coping is used to only temporarily relieve stress so a person can gather themselves and go finish the stressful task. Instead, Chris uses coping mechanisms for months on end and gets nothing done.

For someone who effectively does nothing, Chris leads a very [[Chris and stress|stressful life]], and takes escapism very seriously. The most notable example of escapism includes [[CWCville]], a fictional city that Chris believes to be real, along with his [[imaginary friends]]... and no, that is not roleplaying; Chris truly believes that CWCville and [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|his characters]] are real (in both [[C-197]] and [[Dancing with Magi-Chan|1218]]).

Chris also shows signs of avoidance behaviors (the act of avoiding stressful situations or feelings), he claims his fictional concept of [[Dimensional Merge]] will fix all his problems and pay all his loans once it is complete.

Chris has also pushed [[nostalgia]] as far as possible: decades after leaving high school, his mind is still fixated on the positive events that occurred at the time. Recently, Chris bought a school desk, probably to help relive the gal-pal-filled days.

==Chris 'dusting himself off'==
In the years and months prior to [[September 2011]], Chris displayed some degree of being able to move on and away from [[Julie Reveals Herself|traumatic events]] in his life; he'd simply try to throw the events in question to one side before becoming engrossed in whichever new [[Sweetheart]] or [[Troll]] crossed his field of vision. Following the death of [[Bob Chandler|his father]] however, Chris has lost this coping mechanism. After a protracted period of grieving, Chris instead began using maladaptive coping methods (excluding Flouncing and Death threats) that gradually evolved into their current state over the ensuing 8-9 years, among which are {{w|escapism}} ([[Astral projection]], the [[Dimensional Merge]]), {{w|Rationalization (psychology)|rationalization}} ("I can't go to BABScon because of [[COVID-19]], so it must be a part of the merge!"), {{w|dissociation}} and {{w|Safety behaviors (anxiety)|safety behaviors}} ([[Spirit possession]]), and {{w|sensitization}} (i.e. flipping out over blocks on [[Twitter]], resulting in the [[Soft Exile]]).

== Nostalgia ==
{{Main|Chris and nostalgia}}
Like many people, Chris has a strong sense of nostalgia for past events. ''Unlike'' many people, Chris has used nostalgia as a crutch and prefers to retreat into his rose-tinted view of the past instead of confronting issues facing him in the present day.

==Death threats==
{{Main|Death threats}}
One of Chris's most vociferous coping mechanisms, and one that, alongside Flouncing, predates the newer examples. Chris genuinely believes that wishing death on people is a valid coping mechanism/response to [[stress]]ful situations; recipients of these death threats include [[Trolls]] of the Classic Era such as [[Clyde Cash]], [[Vivian Gee]], [[Liquid Chris]], [[Jack Thaddeus]] and [[Alec Benson Leary]], former President of the United States of America, [[Pmurt|Donald Trump]] and former Vice President Mike Pence, former friend [[Megan Schroeder]], and even ''every employee'' at [[Sega]], to name just a small number of them.

==Flouncing==
{{Quote|Damn trolls. Your bullying is not appreciated, even locally. So you can just take your bullyings, and bully yourselves. If you want to do- if you want- if you're bored, [[Tour of Chris's House|go work around the house]]. [[A Hike|Go take a walk]]. 'Cause you don't need the internet. [[Chris and video games|You don't need to stay cooped up inside]], [[Chris and health|you just need to go outside, and enjoy life]], and the sun, and the days you have to live.|Chris, suggesting alternatives to the Internet that he refuses to do himself, [[YouTube Finale]]}}
The first of Chris's maladaptive coping mechanisms, Chris's habit of flouncing, or ragequitting the internet, is something he has [[YouTube Finale|attempted]] [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|several]] [[Soft Exile|times]]. This behavior bears the most resemblance to the maladaptive coping strategy of {{w|Avoidance coping|avoidance}}, but Chris's flouncing behavior bears several differences. In these cases, Chris only intended to make the internet ''think'' he had quit, and hoped that by lying low, the Trolls would disappear. However, trolls would quickly [[manipulate]] Chris back online by using an undercover troll posing as his real-life friends to convince him that another [[sweetheart]] had been confirmed to be legitimate, and the sweetheart would in turn convince Chris to make more videos. In the case of the [[YouTube Finale|first instance of Chris flouncing]], he returned after a mere ''36 hours'' to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|ramble about a ''Family Guy'' spinoff]].

==Escapism==
Chris has long used escapism as a maladaptive coping mechanism against [[reality]].

Even in his younger adult years, Chris took escapism to unhealthy levels, such as believing in [[imaginary friends]] and magic powers, especially in moments of [[stress]], like during [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s confrontation over his [[Attraction Sign]]s. Chris's habit of escapism greatly ramped up in the years following his [[father]]'s 2011 death. By 2017, he had invested further in trying to learn psychic powers and believed that his imaginary friend [[Magi-Chan]] was tangible and dancing with him at the 2017 [[BronyCon]].

In late 2017, the [[Idea Guys]] exploited Chris's habit of escapism to [[List of beliefs brainwashed into Chris|brainwash]] their beliefs over his fantasy world, followed by a parade of copycats. As a result of their manipulation - and even with the attempts by the [[Guard Dogs]] to repair some of the damage the Idea Guys had dealt to Chris's psyche - Chris opted to retreat further into the wreckage of his imagination and the fantasies associated with it, now believing in concepts such as [[polyamorous marriage]], the [[Dimensional Merge]] and [[CPU]] goddesses.

=== Roleplaying ===
{{main|Spirit possession}}

[[File:Possessed Chris.jpg|thumb|<s>Roleplaying as</s> Possessed by Magi-chan]]

Chris has a history of roleplaying. He roleplayed in front of Mary Lee Walsh as Sonichu and read out a speech for her. In a [[CWC Cums for a Cat|phonesex conversation]], Chris roleplayed as Sonichu for sexual pleasure. In the 2010s and beyond, he roleplayed to escape reality. His first escapist roleplay was of [[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Uzume Tennouboshi]] at the beginning of the [[Idea Guys]] saga. He also uses his sock puppet account, MagiChan111448, for roleplaying as Magi-chan; how Magi-chan types without a body is something only Emmanuelle would know. He started to role-play Sonichu from 15 April 2020 (he claimed to be possessed since 31 March 2020) as a coping mechanism for the cancellation of BABScon. On 19 April 2020, Chris appeared on a [[Chris Chan & Max Mandu LIVE / Leftovers Tonight| livestream]] where he asked the host to refer to him as "Sonichu in Chris's body".

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!Roleplayed as
!From/On
!To
!Reason
|-
|[[Sonichu]]
|?? ?? 2004
|None
|To give a speech TO THE EXTREME!
|-
|[[Chris-chan Sonichu]]
|13 February 2009
|None
|Sexy time with a [[Bluespike#Max|<s>13 year old boy</s>]][[Julie | 19 year old girl]].
|-
|[[Hyperdimension Neptunia|Uzume]]
|8 November 2017
|13 November 2017
|Part of lore [[brainwashed]] into Chris by an [[Idea Guy]].
|-
|[[Chris Chan Sonichu]]
|30 March 2018
|30 March 2018
|Chris repeatedly signed his name as "Chris Chan Sonichu" on court documents relating to his [[Chris and the law#2018|March 2018 trespass charge]] despite it not being his legal name, though no action was taken by court staff on the matter.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/court-records-from-2018-signed-chris-chan-sonichu.75721/</ref>
|-
|[[Magi-chan]]
|14 August 2019
|On/off, ongoing
|Meet [[Jacob Sockness]] in a fantasy world to avoid doing so in real life.
|-
|Sonichu
|15 April 2020
|25 February 2021
|To attend BABScon in [[C-197]]; "Sonichu" promises not to return to his homebody until some incomprehensible time travel scenario plays out in Chris's head. Stopped the LARP after being convinced by an enabler.
|-
|[[Mewtwo]]
|14 May 2020
|None
|White knighting himself on Twitter.
|-
|[[Chris and religion#Chris and Christianity: Historical beliefs|Jesus Christ]]
|19 September 2021
|Ongoing
|Comfort while in [[Jail Saga|jail]] facing an [[Affair with Mother|incest]] charge.
|}

===Power fantasies===
A power fantasy is a form of wish fulfillment that involves someone who feels powerless making themselves seem more significant. A popular example of this kind of behavior is when an author makes themselves a major component of their story, and gives themselves unlimited power over an unfavorable situation they'd encounter. Such characters, which are examples of self-inserts, are often referred to as "Mary Sues", "Marty Stus", or "Gary Stus" among fan circles. While most people have indulged in power fantasies in their lives, Chris's maladaptive daydreaming has taken his adherence to such fantasies to a truly unhealthy level.

One of the best examples of this is Chris coping with stressful situations through escapism by replicating them in his [[Sonichu|comics]]. Chris’s comics have served as an outlet to form a narrative centered around a stressful event, instead of making everything work out as he would have wanted. Oftentimes, the people who gave him a hard time would be depicted as villains, while Chris or his lackeys would prove to be powerful enough to defeat them with ease.

Chris originally centered these comics around his lovechild, Sonichu, where he would showcase his many adventures and overcome various bad guys. However, even this wouldn’t stop Chris from making the comics go full power fantasy as early as the [[Sonichu 0|very first issue]]. From [[Issue 2]] and onwards, Chris would then turn his comics into a power fantasy series, where he would be in direct control over all of the people who wronged him, and get all of the things he wants.

This type of behavior from Chris isn’t strictly limited to his comics.

=== New Age methods ===
[[File:Magi-chan twitter update.Sep 28, 2019.jpg|320px|thumb|under]]
Chris has also been utilizing several New Age concepts and beliefs in order to avoid reality and the stress caused by it, including (but not limited to) listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos, [[Spirit possession|larping as his]] [[OCs]], and [[meditation]]. Upon recently he has been using ways of [[Spirit possession|body-swapping]] with a number of his OC's, including Magi-chan, Mewtwo, and most famously Sonichu. This is a tactic Chris uses in order to escape or get away from the stresses of life and the internet in which he creates, but how he does this is quite confusing yet idiotic. Apparently, he takes on the OC's role and inadvertently swaps minds and bodies with the said OC in the sister dimension of C-197 which gives him a break in order to reevaluate his current situation. To him, he thinks it works, but it is not subtle in the slightest and when he has been active on social media platforms like Twitter or Facebook, there have been times where Christorians noticed minor hints to his normal mannerisms such as his way of speech or downright forgetting that he's in Sonichu's body. It happens in times where Chris is feeling overwhelmed where he almost metaphorically retracts into his delusional shell from the world, and there have been times where he has done this for long periods of time, the longest being nearly a year. For him it's a normal method he has developed for blocking out the world, but others see it as a unhealthy way to avoid life problems instead of facing them head on, while also falling back on that his mad ravings of the [[Merge]] "coming" justify his ideals of using this way of coping. It is by far one of his most crazed mental acts that people have seen in a long time.

===During the Jail Saga===
In the wake of Chris's [[Affair with Mother|incestuous relationship with his mother]], he was sent to [[Central Virginia Regional Jail]]. Being away from familiar surroundings like his home, toys, and mother, he doubled down on his coping.

Taking his evolving [[messiah complex]] to its ultimate conclusion, he crafted a new fantasy of being Jesus Christ, role-playing as the religious figure in multiple [[jail communications]]. He also continued his fantasies of living out the life of a cartoon hero, interacting with [[imaginary friends]] and battling the forces of evil.

{{quote|[I'm] really doing well, very well. I, I'm literally fighting a whole bunch of demons and villains and everything. And I'm defending the [[CWCville|cities]], saving the world multiple times, and [[Messiah complex|answering prayers]] and all that... phew! [[Chris and hypocrisy|I'm definitely NOT lazy]].|Chris<ref>[[Jail Call - 24 December 2021]]</ref>}}

==See Also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[BABSCon]]
*[[Chris and Reality]]
*[[Dimensional Merge]]

==References==
<references/>
{{Fantasies}}
{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and sex

2026-04-17T23:44:18Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Honest}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{Incomplete|Information regarding Chris' sexual frustration, and how he copes with it}}
{{Needs Updating|[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]}}
[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky''' and '''romps in the hay'''<ref>Chris has used this phrase since approximately [[2018]], including in [[:File:SchuComic12-9Page29.JPG|Sonichu #12-9]], on his [[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts|polyamorous marriage]] and on his [[Incest fallout chat leaks#Chris texts about incest with his mother|incest with his mother]].</ref>), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development, [[Borb|a sheltered upbringing]], and the [[Autism|twisted, disjointed]] [[Chris and reality|worldview]] he acquired as a result. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on HBO at around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

==Knowledge of sex==
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he [[Things Chris has ripped off|stole]] from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, for much of the time he was presenting this advice Chris had yet to even kiss a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[high school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris, which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave his [[Chris Sex Logs|sex chat logs]] should immediately notice what's going wrong – Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in pornos, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would welcome a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of [[navy]] to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> thinks that the clitoris is located on the female body where the [[wikipedia:Perineum|perineum]] is located on the male one<ref>[[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Introducing the Un-clit]]</ref> and believes that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[[:File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with his [[Kimmi|sex]] [[Officer Nasty|dolls]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a terrible [[CWC Cola|Mountain Dew]] parody shirt, thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken [[penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[Virgin with rage|virginity]] is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

With Chris's [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]], he is also noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. For example, Chris told Ivy he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Threats]]</ref> While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use common terms – either medical or slang – for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]" or "tom-tom" out of a childish aversion borne of disgust.

In [[August 2011]], Chris said he is into female domination.<ref>[[Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya]]</ref> (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]).

===Reproductive Biology===
{{Main|Biology#Reproductive biology}}
[[File:Female anatomy according to chris.png|thumb|A moderately detailed portrait of what Chris probably thought females looked like before meeting [[Mia Hamm]].]]

Chris's understanding of reproductive biology had primarily come from what he had seen in porn.

===Books on the Subject===

Chris had obtained a copy of the book [[Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability]], which he had told [[Null]] about on 5 July 2021. As a result of reading this book, Chris came to believe that he could mentor people about dating and sex. Chris had especially shown this in conversations he had with [[Fiona]], where he attempts to advise her on how to approach a potential lover when she goes off to college.<ref>[[Fiona DMs#Dating Advice]]</ref> Chris had seemed to twist or misunderstand many of the passages found in this book, taking it to be a book on how to perform sex on disabled people, rather than one ''for'' disabled people.

==Moral Basis==

{{Dated}}

===Straightness===

{{main|Chris and sexuality}}

Chris's stance on sexual orientations has always been iffy at best. Prior to his transition to a Tomgirl, he had shown a fear of losing his straightness. This obsessive demand for people to "STAY STRAIGHT" has been one of the first noted and exploited aspects of Chris since his discovery. Many trolls had jokingly declared this as an indicator of him repressing his sexuality in some fashion, only for it to end up being the case in the long run.

===Religion===
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex was at one point viewed, through Chris's eyes, by the Bible – or rather, by his religion, as Chris's Biblical knowledge is extremely poor. Chris was very strict on keeping to the word of God when male homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' homos, but with no hesitation views lesbian porn and approves of it [[Mass debating|masturbatorily]]<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref>, and as of 2014, seemed to be adopting a more progressive view of even gay men and their rights (albeit begrudgingly). In 2015, Chris made a video lamenting his "past" homophobia and clarifying that he apparently now has great liking and admiration for male homosexuality, [[Retroactive continuity|retconning]] the vicious homophobic tirade of [[Sonichu 10]] into a bizarre zombie apocalypse, implying that he realizes religion is not an excuse for discrimination. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he planned on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). This is, of course, a blatant violation of the Christian value of marriage before sex.

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is very guilty and holds no apparent [[Chris and remorse|remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to denigrate and what is OK in his own personal dogma, although, to be somewhat fair, he's far from the only follower of the Christian faith to do so.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is most likely because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|a very liberal church]], so any question about premarital sex is probably interpreted quite liberally, and Chris believes that his church and ''only'' his church defines the entirety of religious morality - as it applies to him, anyway. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[trolls]], she only fuels his à la carte Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which contradicts Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> In summary, Chris picked and chose what parts of Christian doctrine suited his own prejudices, and disregarded the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest]].

===Sexism===

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he's ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse, even if his hypothetical partner refused to consent to it.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public.<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> In [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]], Chris indicated that if a woman accused him of being gay in person, he would sexually assault them by demanding they submit to a kiss and allow him to videotape the act, possibly as a way of proving his straightness.

For Chris, as stated above, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual. As long as they're straight and younger than him, of course.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian [[For Julie's Eyes Only|professing his love]] for "[[BlueSpike|Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous sex tape with Kimmi, shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the [[JERKS|men]] in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

However, it should be noted that in most of Chris's Rule 34 drawings the characters do tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender, including Chris.<ref>For examples, see the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8, [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]], [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], the [[Giant Penis Comic]] and [[Jackie E-mails 14]].</ref> It might be that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex, but more because of [[Tomgirl pictures|his identification with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent duck, [[Obesity|being overweight]], lack of endurance) or psychological in nature (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive homoerotic thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex), or a combination thereof.

In the 2018 [[All Star]] video, Chris is seen tugging his [[duck]] along to the song. He remains flaccid the entire time; his inability to get an erection is possibly a side effect of [[Transgender|HRT]]. If this is true, Chris will certainly not be getting any hanky-panky in the future.

During his time losing his virginity to a [[Mia Hamm| prostitute]] its worth noting that he first received a blowjob, then demanded cowgirl before possible missionary later; [[Obesity| but luckily for her]] he couldn't last very long and finished just after she rid him for a bit; this is important as it points to 2 big problems with Chris; first his lack of self control due to him [[Navy| finishing]] so quickly, second is that he ordered possibly the laziest sex position in the book, with Mia doing pretty much all of the physical exercise with Chris being a lazy fuck.

Chris's second sexual partner in his life was none other than his own [[Barb|mom]]. The exact details of the [[Affair with Mother|incestuous affair]] are a bit vague, but needless to say, every act described by Chris is extremely disturbing and not for the faint of heart.

===Contraceptives===

{{quote|Confidentially, I wear a condom during the second half when I masturbate; I use Trojan or LIfestyles brand (Trojan mostly)

And I used condoms when I fooled with the [[Officer Nasty|L.D.s]] as well.|Chris, [[Jackie E-mails 1]]}}

Condoms, or as Chris has called them "'''raincoats'''", are thin latex coverings worn over a man's penis for the purpose of birth control. However, Chris seemed to understand the condom as more of a symbol for promoting safe premarital sex rather than as a contraceptive. Aside from promoting safe sex and justifying premarital sex, Chris has also drawn his male Sonichu characters with condoms in order to censor their penises. Chris has stated that before his third date with [[Blanca]], he'd wear a condom for the first two times they've had sex, only to have unprotected sex by the third date, showing that he also believed that condoms serve more as some kind of gateway to pregnancy. Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; sometime in 2010<ref>[[Chris Sex Logs#Condoms]]</ref> and January 2013.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

Chris reportedly also wore a condom that was flavored like green apple while engaging in sex with Mia Hamm.<ref>[[July 2020 social media posts]]</ref> It's not entirely clear whether the condom was entirely successful or not due to him mentioning that a "Smidge" of Navy had leaked out after their first round together, meaning he either kept them in his pocket far too long, the condom didn't fit entirely properly around his [[Duck]], he became flaccid way faster than he should have, or he's an idiot who mistook a smear of lube or vaginal discharge for semen; knowing Chris any of these [[Chris and negligence| explanations]] [[Duck| are]] [[Health| equally]] [[Slow in the minds| possible]]. For those wondering, however, it's probably safe to assume [[Mia Hamm]] won't be harboring [[Crystal]] any time soon; even by some non-existent chance he managed to get her pregnant, she would have likely been on the pill anyway.

Chris would later reveal to [[Null]] that he was using a condom while having sex with his "over 50 girlfriend", who was later discovered to be [[Barb]]. While ploughing a woman like Barb would cause anyone to instinctively wear the thickest condom available, then get themselves tested a few times over just in case (all of which Chris did); realistically there wasn't much reason to do so since the risk of STD and pregnancy was non-existent since both were [[Health|(at least where STIs were concerned)]] clean and both were completely infertile.

== Sexual Frustration ==

Chris has had a yearning to have a girl to have sex with since the start of his [[Love Quest]] in 2003. The first manifestation of this was when he was clawing at [[Megan]], where his pining for her went ignored or denied as any sane person would.

Throughout the first half of [[2021]], Chris' search for a sweetheart had resumed. Chris has expressed great sexual frustration, yearning for a physical girl to have sex with over his [[polyamorous marriage| fictitious sweethearts]]. According to [[Kyle]], at some point in [[February 2021]], Chris expressed interest in wanting to get a hooker,<ref name=feb21hooker>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Chris wanted a hooker]]</ref> something which Chris was once not in favor of.

In [[March 2021]], following a masturbation session, Chris had a conversation with the [[Watchmen]], in which he discussed how, despite not disliking or disapproving of the act of masturbation, he felt that he was [[Gender dysphoria|born the wrong gender]].<ref>[[Masturbation discussions#16 March 2021]]</ref> In a [[May 2021]] conversation, he claimed that over the years, he would continually consume pornography and masturbate to get "the hard-on". He expressed how, until recently, he felt that he had not fully explored his sexuality, nor any other means to stimulate himself, and even then claims to still overthink the process of [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|inserting a dildo or vibrator up his ass]]. <ref>[[Masturbation discussions#18 May 2021]]</ref>

==Means of Coping with Sexual Frustration==

=== Masturbation and Porn Consumption ===

{{Main|Mass debating}}

Chris has had a history of masturbating, starting when he discovered he could stimulate his penis by rubbing it against a washcloth when he was 15. In 2009, he made use of a washbasin in the kitchen of his house while performing the act, and had claimed in the [[Ivy Q&A]] that he made use of a pillow that he'd fold in half, treating it as a masturbation tool. Since then, masturbation has been an outlet for Chris's sexual frustration.

In a [[February 2021]] conversation with [[The Watchmen]], Chris said "Masturbation takes Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes, with my body, regardless of whatever method or tool utilized. And it has literally been that long in unenjoyable time since I first rubbed one out while my body was 15. And that was Looooong before I ever started on HRT in 2016. So, not only is masturbation out of the question, it's more misery-inducing."<ref>[[Masturbation discussions#27 February 2021]]</ref>

=== Drawing Porn ===

{{quote|As for the drawing itself, I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy, angst against E.D., and love for you, but also a major release for my crazy, mixed-up hormones. If I didn't have the foresight to put my pent-up frustrations and feelings in the form of something, I might have become an abusive maniac, so thank god for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations in a more positive, yet not so "Politically Correct", and not physically hurting others, method.|Chris on how he might have approached Megan had he not drawn [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]<ref>[[Megan Emails, 2008#Chris continues bothering her about ED]]</ref>}}

Chris has, on more than one occasion, drawn pornography of his own in order to release sexual tension. Chris claimed to [[Megan Schroeder]] that he had, in part, created the controversial drawing [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]] because he felt that doing so would inhibit him from sexually advancing on Megan, as he had feelings for her, and would have become an "abusive maniac" had he not created the drawing. The fact that Chris had decided to use what was essentially a product of his own pent-up sexual frustration as a means of attempting to get his Encyclopedia Dramatica page down only seemed to leave a much more bitter taste in Megan's mouth after announcing this.

During the period when Chris became much more sexually frustrated in 2021, he displayed this more openly towards friends, and even on his social media. He sent a picture of his Chris Chan Sonichu persona wearing a [[negligee]] while giving a seductive look to [[The WCT]], and talked to him about how arousing it is to wear one.

=== Sex Toys ===

Chris has made [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|numberable purchases]] for sex toys, porn DVDs, and inflatable sex dolls.

=== Relationships with OCs ===

For a time, partly due to influence from the [[Idea Guys]], Chris has temporarily given up on his search for a sweetheart in pursuit of being in relationships with fictional characters instead.

=== Wet Dreams ===

Chris has also had his share of wet [[dreams]], particularly whenever he had held strong feelings for his flavor of the week. The first of these wet dreams was of [[PandaHalo]], where he dreamed about both of them getting naked, having sex, and then Chris finally climaxing. Chris also had a dream where he was in a labyrinth filled with water, where he met a woman and had sex with her. Chris recreated the dream in a Flipnote animation. The strangest of these was one where Chris claims that he "almost had sex" with the Sonic character Sally Acorn, which had left him sexually frustrated afterwards. Chris talks about another wet dream he had two months later, this time of the ''Sonic X'' character Chris Thorndyke aged-up and "handsome". Chris also expresses the sexual frustration he felt after waking up from this dream, too.<ref>[[MKR DMs]]</ref>

=== Sex with Mother ===

It had long been joked and speculated by trolls, christorians, and observers alike that Chris has much more intimate feelings with [[Barbara Chandler|his mother]] than he let on. These speculations were confirmed in July of 2021 when screenshots were leaked of Chris detailing to Isabella Loretta Janke his incestuous exploits. Null later revealed worrying conversations he had previously with Chris about a new "over 50's" girlfriend he had been using condoms with. We will leave it to you to put 2 and 2 together.

==Sexual Deviance==

Chris's skewed basis of his understanding of sex leads him to exhibit several instances of sexual deviance.

===Inappropriate Interactions with Women===

To say the least, Chris's social interactions hinder his ability to understand sex etiquette.

===Pedophilia and Age Disparity===
{{main|Pedofork}}
{{Wise|he is a pedophile.}}

Pedophilia has always been a touchy subject regarding Chris. Chris had at first attempted to deny all claims that he was a pedophile, even creating [[CWC-isms|a new word]], "pedofork", as a sort of comeback to those who referred to him as such, apparently being created solely to make the word rhyme in "I'm not a pedofork, you dorks". Chris has tried to retain this image by removing any references that may be interpreted as him being a pedophile in his Sonichu comics. Most infamously, Chris had characters in [[Sonichu 8]] make comments about "dumb laws" when [[Zapina Rosechu]], who is 14 years old, asks to participate in stripping for Women's Rights.

At a glance, Chris seems to adhere to the age of consent, once advertising on his [[Attraction Sign|Attraction Signs]] that he would only date someone of legal age. Chris, however, does not seem to understand or care about how creepy it is for him to be attracted to women who are half his age, and seems to see it as yet another barrier for his Love Quest. Chris has cat-called an artist whom he believed to be "entering young adulthood", has made sexual remarks towards [[Bella]], despite her having no interest in Chris, and has shown arousal when [[Fiona]] exposed herself to him.

===Necrophillia===

While Chris himself has never engaged in sex with a dead body to the best of anyone's knowledge, Chris has [[Jail Letter - 29 July 2022|recently]] been referring to barb as a zombie like husk since even before they began engaging in [[Affair with Mother|their affair]] and that her soul has already moved on to her rosechu form in C-197; complaining that her lifeless body was still clinging to life and preventing him from going back home. Meaning that Chris is at least partially comfortable with the idea of having sex with his dead mother.

In another disturbing incident, Chris recorded [[It's not that cold]], where he proceeds to imitate {{w|Buffalo Bill (character)|Buffalo Bill}} and pretends to get inside his dead dog [[Patti Chandler|Patti]]. While not engaging in sex with her, he does take a bizarre sexual pleasure in wearing her corpse (or at least pretending to do so, since he was too lazy to actually dig her up).

===Bestiality===
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris to [[PandaHalo]]<ref name="collie">[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|Run, Patti, run!]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In [[December 2008]], Chris told [[PandaHalo]] he would be willing to have sex with a female dog for her.<ref name="collie" /> However, in his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form; so technically this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other.

Chris suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161007175309/http://archive.sonichu.com:80/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy The Family Guy article on CWCipedia]</ref>

In [[The Red-Maned Deer]], Chris recites a poem he wrote about having sex with a deer, but at the end of it states, "This was, in fact, NOT an act of bestiality. For you see, the Red-Maned Deer I have been communicating with and tracking, is really...my lo-my womanly sweetheart, named [[Jacklyn Romy]]."<ref>[[The Red-Maned Deer]]</ref> The fact that the deer is Jackie is obvious, but in spite of this, he explicitly stated that it was her at the end.

In a photo of the [[Rental House]] from June 2014, the Chandler minivan bears a bumper sticker reading "I Sleep with Dogs".<ref>[[:File:Chandler Cars 1600w.jpg]]</ref> What exactly this means is yet to be determined.

====Is Chris a furry?====
{{Wise|he is a furry.}}

{{quote|I am half-Sonichu and half-Pokemon, thus making me a "furry".|Chris, May 2018, during the aftermath of the [[Idea Guys]] saga.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20220209025754/https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/997320832040005634</ref>}}

Whether Chris could actually be considered a furry was debated for a long time.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that point in that direction. Chris certainly gets aroused by provocative drawings of anthropomorphic animals (at least when they are [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] characters), and he has drawn unsolicited porn of his own Sonic recolors. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona, and Chris even role-played the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both transform into anthropomorphic animals during the act of sex. On the other hand, [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] noted that Chris was prejudiced against a male furry who patronized [[The GAMe PLACe]] because he happened to be [[homos|gay]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref> Given the high proportion of gay and bisexual men in the furry fandom, Classic Chris would almost certainly have been uncomfortable at any kind of furry gathering.

In [[May 2018]], under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris declared himself a furry.<ref>[[May_2018_social_media_posts#Michael_Hirtes_BTFO]]</ref> The Idea Guys also [[brainwashed]] him into believing he is in a [[polyamorous marriage]] with his anthropomorphic [[imaginary friends]] [[Magi-Chan]] and [[Cryzel]], and Chris believes he has had sexual relations with these imaginary friends.<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#BronyCon thoughts]]</ref>

Also of note is that in [[July 2020|mid-2020]], he binge-watched the [[Netflix]] anime ''BNA: Brand New Animal'', commenting it was "very good" but said nothing further than that.<ref>[[July_2020_social_media_posts#Animu]]</ref>

While Chris may loosely qualify as a furry due to his obsession with anthropomorphic [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] and [[My Little Pony|ponies]], he has never shown an interest in the broader furry community.

===Oedipus Complex===
In simple terms, it is the attachment of the child to the parent of the opposite sex, accompanied by envious and aggressive feelings toward the parent of the same sex.<ref> https://www.uvm.edu/~jbailly/courses/tragedy/student%20second%20documents/Oedipus%20Complex.html#:~:text=Definition,parent%20of%20the%20same%20sex.</ref> Chris has exuded such an Oedipus Complex for years, given his feelings for his mother coddling him while also showing resentment for Bob now and then, especially whenever he’d scold Chris for his antics.
See below for more details:
* [[Affair with Mother]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Sex_with_Mother|Sex with Mother]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Dreams_of_sex_with_Barb|Dreams of sex with Barb]]
* [[Chris_and_sex#Actual_sex_with_Barb|Actual sex with Barb]]

{{-}}

==Prostitution==
[[Image:Virginbreaker.png|thumb|Chris's leaked [[Facebook]] announcement that he had lost his virginity. Initially igniting a firestorm of controversy, Chris himself let it slip that she was found "somewhere on the backpage" soon after.]]

Given how badly Chris wanted to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he didn't immediately spend some of his [[tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was – in a rare display of common sense – afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a [[Craigslist]] prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try to gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Bryan Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year, he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that a 14-year-old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

In [[April 2012]], a [[Facebook]] status leaked in which Chris announced that he was no longer a virgin. Suspicion arose that this was due to the help of a hooker. Chris provided further evidence suggesting that [[Mia Hamm|the girl]] was a prostitute on 1 [[May 2012|May]] when he wrote in a [[Facebook#Hey, Trollies|Facebook note]] that his virgin breaker can be found "somewhere on the [[Wikipedia:Backpage|backpage]]", a website known for featuring sex service ads.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210206132219/https://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/19/opinion/kristof-not-quite-a-teen-yet-sold-for-sex.html?_r=1]</ref> On 28/29 June 2014 Chris openly admitted that his first time was with a prostitute, and that he had sex with her twice.<ref>[[Other documents#Chris's wingman]]</ref>

In [[June 2016]], Chris himself made [[Women Only Need Apply - No STD's|another attempt]] to enter the prostitution business, now as a [[Tomgirl|trans woman]], going by the name "Stephanie Bustcakes". Predictably, Chris was unable to find any "women of any orientation" who were interested in paying him $100 to have sex either "one way or the lesbian way", and the Stephanie Bustcakes persona has not yet reappeared.

[[File:ChrisChanSexForMoney.png|thumb|200px]]
On 24 April 2018, while under the influence of the [[Idea Guys]], who had allegedly been extorting him out of thousands of dollars, Chris announced:<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts#Will provide house tour and suck dicks for money]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Anyone living locally to me in Virginia, or visiting in Charlottesville, I’ll give y’all BJs for money too. Serious.}}

A fan on Twitter messaged him about it. In their conversation, Chris said:<ref name=price>[[:File:NAME YOUR PRICE!!.jpeg]]</ref>

{{quotebox|Consider me a beginner with experience blowing [[Cryzel and Magi-Chan|my loving boyfriend]], willing to learn and adapt further. $50 for that BJ from this celeb; if he wants butt sex, that will be $100. Cash only.}}

Chris told [[CWCProtectSquad]] member Tings Tingz that he was indeed serious about prostituting himself, had several offers, but had not taken on any customers. When asked if he would consider, Chris responded, "a little from Column 'A' and the latter from Column 'B'".<ref>[[Tings Tingz DMs#Prostitution post]]</ref>

After the [[Guard Dogs]] rescued Chris from the Idea Guys' influence, he reversed course and disavowed the prostitution messages on 7 May 2018, saying he had been coerced.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20191107173201/https://twitter.com/cwcsonichu/status/993693423084318720</ref> He went further on 25 May, saying he had been forced to write such things, and implied the Idea Guys had been behind it.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Calling out the Idea Guys]]</ref>

According to [[Kyle]], in [[February 2021]], Chris wanted a hooker and asked Kyle to ask [[Null]] to get him one.<ref name=feb21hooker></ref>

==Incest==
{{See also|Affair with Mother}}
{{Split Off}}
{{Quote|I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]].|Chris, 2016}}

[[File:CWCSonichu Rule34.jpeg|thumb|Chris having sex with his "son," Sonichu, in order to fulfill a prophecy to bring Crystal into the world.]]

Chris has long been suspected of having unnatural feelings about [[sex]] and family.

In [[2007]], Chris attempted to shock [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] into submission by posting his own [[Rule 34]] drawings, including one of himself [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|fingerbanging a nude brunette woman]]. ED users immediately concluded this was Crystal, Chris's imaginary twin sister in the comics. This charge infuriated Chris and therefore became the conventional wisdom. By the time Chris successfully convinced anyone that it was really [[Megan Schroeder]] in the drawing, the notion that Chris wants to bang his imaginary twin sister had already stuck.

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], Chris's imaginary twin sister, appeared as a [[:image:153-GirlfriendsGift.jpg|"girlfriend" card]] he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related (despite their type and appearance differences, they all come from [[homos|Sonic and the same male Pikachu]] – apart from that fact, they were all created by Chris and acknowledge him as such – Sonichu and Rosechu calling him father), but many of them are paired off with one another (notably Sonichu/Rosechu, Bubbles/Blake, and Magi/Silvana – Simonla was technically made by someone else), banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children|having]] [[Sandy Rosechu|kids]]. Chris's own comic children are a form of incest, as Chris impregnated himself with his navy. Chris shrugs off [[Autism|all medical/science facts]] and lists the two as perfectly healthy and Autism Free.

Chris first expounded his views on incest to the internet on 31 [[January 2009]] during the [[Mumble 1|first Mumble chat]], when it was revealed that he did not fully understand the meaning of the word "incest". While he showed aversion toward incest in the chat, his condemnation of it was lukewarm, saying that he would only "definitely discourage that" and that lesbian incest is "possibly OK" due to no reproduction being involved. Compare this to his statements about male homosexuality from the same chat ("I hate homo males [...] I'd sooner have a [[Tomgirl Saga|sex change]] before I would ever turn into a homo") or to his statements about male homosexuality from earlier that month, saying that he would make it a crime and force its practitioners into having sex with members of the opposite gender.<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>

A year later, Chris's views became staunch. When a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]] pointed out that Chris's state allows cousin marriage but not same-sex marriage, Chris furiously denied it and wrote, "Cousin-Marriage is just as Terrible and Unholy as MARRYING YOUR OWN MOTHER OR FATHER!"<ref>[[Common Questions#5 January 2010]]</ref> When another correspondent responded to Chris by saying that he is happily married to his cousin and that their marriage is indeed legal in Virginia, Chris answered him by saying he was destined to hell for his relationship,<ref>[[Mailbag 34#Good luck in hell]]</ref> not realizing that incest is shown in a positive light in [[Chris and religion|the Bible]]. When the subject came up again in the next mailbag, Chris said that sexual relations between cousins are just as wrong as incest between parents and their children or between siblings, and that all those relationships were condemned in the "same part" of the Bible,<ref>[[Mailbag 35#I think he wanted a specific verse]]</ref> which is not actually true.<ref> [https://web.archive.org/web/20051223102404/http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=religion]</ref>

===Incest fics===
In [[February 2010]], Chris notably did not react to [[:File:Fkinglie.png|an extremely NSFW ad of himself]] on the [[CWCipedia]] depicting himself fingering Barb [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|like he did with a former friend in a certain illustration]], despite reacting to [[I am Alive|an ad claiming that he was dead]].

During the [[Idea Guy]] saga, the troll convinced Chris that [[Magi-Chan]] foretold a prophecy in which [[Crystal]] would be born by Chris mating with Sonichu. He also informed Chris that if this were drawn, he wouldn't have to do it in real life. Chris complied<ref>https://archive.md/AL1PT</ref>. During the nonsensical [[Sonichu 13| issue 13]] of Sonichu, incest is unsurprisingly everywhere, from [[Chris Chan Sonichu]] getting married to [[Magichan]] to Chris and Sonichu raping each other.

To the [[Watchmen]], Chris chatted about how he was upset over the implications of incest in the ''Sonichu'' family, stating that he had written a piece to dispute the "ugh, Incest bullshit."<ref>[[Chats leaked by MKRs Bloody Chunks#Ugh, Incest]]</ref>

In a Facebook post from [[January 2020]], Chris reiterated his opposition to incest, writing "I, personally, seriously disapprove of incest and would never practice it at all" and "The Bottom Line is: Incest is Never 'Wincest' (Epic UGH!)".<ref>[[January 2020 social media posts#Incest is not wincest]]</ref>

In [[November 2023]], Chris replied to a [[Twitter]] post that asked him if he could list examples of what he meant by "strange ideas and dreams." Chris stated that he strongly disapproves of incest fan fictions involving himself and characters like [[Sonichu]] Prime and [[Rosechu]] Prime. He also criticized fan fictions with him and his [[mother]], He said some people thought about or wrote these stories before [[July 2021]] in reference to the Incest Call being released and his arrest, he claimed he does not support them and believes such ideas are wrong and warned that thinking about them could lead to negative consequences in other timelines or realities.<ref>[[November 2023 social media posts#Rant against incest fics]]</ref>

===Dreams of sex with Barb===
On 10 August 2016, Chris posted a [[Facebook statuses|response]] to a mother-son couple who were arrested for incest. He admitted to "[having] dreams of having sex with my mother" but "Never acting on them ever." Among other things, he also implied that incest "offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s)." All this is in stark contrast to his earlier condemnation of incest, which raises the question of whether Chris was being TRUE and HONEST but changed his opinion later thanks to his growing degeneracy, or the likelier possibility it was [[Chris and hypocrisy|all for show]].

{{quotebox|I have a few things to say in response to this article. Firstly, the child was over 18, and surely the mother has talked it out with him beforehand. The child might have had social problems, or a situation where socializing or going out to socialize with other people, was a Greater Difficulty. Financial situation to prevent paying someone else to come over and help out in the situation. Moreover, it was the lifelong affections between parent and child. Also, the mother probably could not bear any ovum for children anymore.
Anyhow, who among Everyone in this world has not had a dream of having sex with one of their parents? Never acting on them ever, I, myself, Did have dreams of having sex with my mother.
Although incest is quite controversial topic, but there are circumstances where there would be not so much harm as one may think, feel or believe. The child is over 18; the mother is unable to have any more children at the time; birth control and protection is available and can be used (in a case of father/daughter, birth control Definitely should be used anyhow). Also, consider if the child is adopted; not as much biological.
Plus, this offers a chance for better teaching the child how to better satisfy their eventual partner(s). The schools can only teach from books; not so much practice. And Nobody wants to end up being a 20 or 30-plus year old Virgin. I know; That is a Huge, Enduring Pain.
Unless the sex act was abusive, hurtful, or Would result in an unwanted birth of a physical or mental challenged child, I would not judge or persecute the parent and child. I would encourage the child to socialize more; maybe make it easier for the child to meet more people his/her age.
Do Not send the mother and son to jail!}}

On 13 September 2019, while [[Spirit possession|role-playing]] as Magi-Chan, Chris would describe Barb as a "guilty pleasure waifu."<ref>[[September 2019 social media posts#Barbara was more of a "guilty pleasure" waifu]]</ref>

===Actual sex with Barb===

While the prospect of Chris having sex with Barb was joked about for many years, most people did not believe Chris would actually go through with it. Before the [[Incest call]] was leaked, there were numerous warning signs of what was to come, mainly being the fact that Barb would force Chris to spoon her in bed for many years, and telling Mia Hamm that the sexual massage he gave her was the same that he gave his mother. Their actions around each other have indicated a history of incestuous interest; many just assumed that this was a combination of Chris's [[autism]] making him act inappropriately and Barb's infamously controlling behaviour.

After the incest calls were leaked, it was revealed that Chris had been engaging in regular sex with Barb every 3 nights or so since 27 June 2021. His "seduction" methods included giving her full body massages while making attempts to finger her, kissing her on the lips, with Barb refusing to open her mouth and Chris making "Psychic connections" with her before, during, and after their romps in the hay.

It's also noteworthy that Chris refers to Barb as "Barbie Chan" almost exclusively now; whether this has something to do with her supposed anime fanfiction characteristics, a bizarre pet name, or Chris trying to subconsciously distance himself from their familial bonds is unknown.

==Rape==
{{quote|It's no joke, it's REALLY no freakin' joke.|Chris on rape<ref>[[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 2, Crystal - 1]]</ref>}}

Chris was very apathetic about the idea of consent, and to a larger extent, the act of rape. When [[PandaHalo]] told him she was raped by [[Clyde Cash]], he reacted nonchalantly. He even thought it would be appropriate for Panda to ''move in'' with her rapist ([[Chris and religion|which is technically in line with certain archaic Christian principles]]), whom he called a "good man" for regretting the rape and for being willing to take care of the ensuing child.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Later on, long after the PandaHalo saga was over, he would wish her and her rapist a happy marriage.<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)#Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, A.K.A. PandaHalo]]</ref> In [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he didn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detailed a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape. Chris eventually compared his ordeals with the trolls, particularly during the Classic Era, to rape in his Facebook posts. (Since [[BlueSpike]]'s [[Julie Reveals Herself|most infamous incident]] involved an act that could be described as sexual abuse in front of several people, this is admittedly a fitting description.)

As far as ''Chris'' being a potential rapist is concerned, the situation was more complicated. For starters, as explained earlier, he admitted that he drew [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] to prevent himself from acting on his sexual impulses against [[Megan Schroeder]], who had previously scolded him for inappropriately touching her. During a particularly [[IRC (23 July 2009)|disturbing chat]], he ([[:File:BillRiley.jpg|incognito]]) suggested that the trolls try to convince him to rape [[Rocky Shoemaker]]. He also evidently saw no issue with rape by fraud (essentially having sex with someone while tricking them into believing you're somebody else, meaning they didn't consent with you) as seen with his comic book counterpart when he travels forwards in time to have sex with his future wife [[Lovely Weather]] in the guise of being his future self [[Transgender|(whom is definitely a different person in the future)]]. During the [[Kacey Calls]], he attempted unsuccessfully to lure her to his place in the guise of being [[Liquid Chris]], again seeing absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all likelihood, though, these parts of his behavior are most likely explained by the keys to understanding his behavior overall: his ignorance about the world and his persecution complex cause him to be quite [[naïve]] about how bad rape actually is. With the Rocky situation above, he likely said that as part of an odd, roundabout scheme to get the trolls arrested, but it's still pretty fucked up that he'd even suggest something like this, let alone [[Honest Content|tell her about it after]].

In one of the [[Kacey Calls]], Chris states he believes that abortion in cases of rape should be the choice of the victim, and that they should not be pressured by others in their decision.

Despite joking about how uncomfortably close he was to his own mother, few actually believed that Chris had it in him to commit an act of rape. For instance, he tried to kiss [[Emily]] and gave up when she said no,<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#A precious farewell (1:29:35–1:31:10)]]</ref> showing that he does understand the importance of consent... Or at least, he ''used'' to. Unfortunately, it seems that as of 2014, he has decided that he won't take "no" for an answer, and basically ''molested'' [[Catherine#The Date|Catherine during their second outing]] by hugging her and burying his head in her breasts even after she flatly told him not to. This gets even more disturbing when you consider [[Catherine E-mails#It IS Your Fault!|this e-mail]], where Chris outright says that he's [[Chris and his ego|"entitled to a relationship"]]. Also not helping matters was Chris kissing multiple guests who posed with him at the [[TooManyGames]] convention regardless of consent, which ultimately [[List of places that have banned Chris|got him kicked out]].

Furthermore, it was argued that Chris didn't have a history of violence conducive to attempting sexual assault. Aside from his [[Death threats#Likelihood of Acting Out on Death Threats|habit of dishing out threats he can't possibly carry out]], [[28 October 2011|hitting Michael Snyder with a car]], and [[26 December 2014|macing a manager in the chest]], Chris is physically [[Chris and health|very weak and unfit]], and simply could not overpower an able-bodied person – the only outcome of him attempting it would be a swift knee to the [[duck]] followed by a rousing round of [[Kick the Autistic|America's favorite game]].

Interestingly, Chris details in [[Announcement 06292016]] that he wants all men to stay an arm's length away from him. Along with showing the insecurities he possesses concerning men, Chris seems to think that he is [[Chris and his ego|an attractive enough]] [[Transgender|transwoman]] for [[Jacob Sockness|a man]] to consider raping him.

==See also==
* [[Affair with Mother]]
* [[China]]
* [[Chris and his ego]]
* [[Chris and sexuality]]
* [[Chris Sex Logs]]
* [[Duck]]
* [[Homos]]
* [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]
* [[Mass debating]]
* [[Naive]]
* [[Pickle]]
* [[Biology#Reproductive biology|Reproductive Biology]]
* [[Semen]]
* [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
* [[Women's rights]]

== References ==
<references/>
{{articleofthenow}}
{{Love quest}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

User:MarcelDubois

2026-04-17T21:04:52Z

MarcelDubois:

Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym.

What am I doing here?

{{Mexicant}} {{White}} {{JERK}} {{Hex-Box}} {{Bisexual}} {{GrammarNazi}}

Chris and nutrition

2026-04-17T21:03:00Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Needs Updating|[[November 2023 social media posts#Weight]]}}

{{HealthDisclosure}}
{{Honest}}

[[File:OmNomNom.jpg|thumb|A wild Chris scarfing down his prey.]]
Food is both a [[sex|biological imperative]] and a [[art|cultural medium]] for humans. The human body is meant to run on a wide variety of foodstuffs for a balanced diet, and cultures around the world have created a multitude of dishes using available ingredients, mostly from animal and plant sources. More recently, however, food has become industrialized, which makes food cheaper and tastier, to the love of our hero, [[Chris]]. Unfortunately, this industrial Western diet doesn't always carry the best '''nutrition'''.

==Cooking abilities==
{{Dated|Events after house fire}}
Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school, and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti (an incredibly basic dish, mind you) in a YouTube video, he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook, and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

In a [[August 2017]] letter written to [[Kelly Sheridan]], Chris claimed to have taken up basic cooking skills as a way to keep his mind more active.<ref>[[Chris's letter to Kelly Sheridan‎‎]]</ref>

In addition, [[Barb]] stopped cooking for Chris after he and [[Bob]] had turned down a spaghetti meal she had offered them<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 24]]</ref>, a turn-down he claimed to have "deeply apologized" for, making it even less likely that Chris eats anything that requires to be cooked, let alone anything that requires time and preparation to be made.

==Fast Food==
[[File:ChrisMadeANaco.jpg|thumb|A soft shell taco topped with tortilla chips. Straight out of ''Kim Possible''.]]
{{Main|List of restaurants}}

As a result of his minimal cooking skills, and due to how even the simplest of tasks [[Chris and work|tire him out]], Chris often prefers to eat out over making food by himself. He is an infamous fast food lover, eating at either [[McDonald's]], [[Burger King]], or some other fast food restaurant at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a [[Kiwi Farms]] user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.

==Consumption of food==

[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris eats at multiple fast food restaurants, visiting McDonald's 10 times in 13 days, eating at other chains as well in the same documented period.]]
[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]
[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with [[Semen|a special ingredient]].]]

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general (as well as his tendency to lie).

During the [[Father Call]], Chris told [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. He claimed he stopped taking the drug in fall 2009, but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

When Chris admits to going to McDonald's regularly for his meals (including the time in the father call), he will often fall back on another lie that he only eats the salads provided and drinks the lemonade. This is ironic as McDonald's salads were actually proven to contain ''more'' calories than an average Big Mac meal, due to the sauce that came with them. Chris also seems to be under the impression that lemonade is healthy because it has (or at least tastes vaguely like) lemons, despite them being just as unhealthy as any other type of soda.

In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos under the false belief that they would improve his health. He liked videos such as "Lose Weight Super Fast!", "Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!", "Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment", and "[[Fart Song|Produce Odorless Farts Fast!]]". There is no sort of scientific and medical evidence that proves listening to binaural beats can do these things – the only real health effect is hearing loss if listened to at a high volume, and maybe a headache.

In 2017, Chris had a brief online relationship with [[Jessica Quinn]], who has a fat fetish and influenced Chris with it. The Sonichu comic features an obese Rosechu in [[Sonichu 12|issue 12]]. After their breakup, Chris consumed a large bowl of ice cream, then took a side photo of his gut, saying, "THIS!!! Right Here was ALLLLL HERS!!!!!!"<ref>[[October 2017 Facebook posts#Quinn.27s missing out|Quinn's missing out!]]</ref> This marks one of the only times that Chris has admitted that he has [[Obesity]] issues.

In 2019, Chris showed us his idea of a "salad", mostly made with unhealthy ingredients like bacon bits and croutons.<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#Magi-Chan eats a .22salad.22]]</ref>

In 2020, Chris claimed to make breakfast omelettes/scrambled eggs with ghost pepper sauce or spinach.<ref>[[December 2020 social media posts]]</ref>

In October 2023, Chris posted photos of his snack bowl, consisting of fruits, a large chunk of dark chocolate, and a liberal amount of what appears to be whipped topping. Chris touted the vitamin benefits of the fruits among the snacks, but unfortunately for him, the nutritional benefits are outweighed by the excessive amount of sugar contained in the bowl.<ref>[[October 2023 social media posts#Chocolate and fruits]]</ref>

==Jail food==
Since the [[Jail Saga]] saw Chris incarcerated for quite a while, it's safe to assume he broke his long-standing policy of [[28 October 2011|not eating prison food]] and entered the regular diet alongside all the other jail inmates. Chris stated that he liked the selection of food items the jail had for sale.<ref>[[Jail Letter - 25 October 2021 (Virginia fan)]]</ref>

In an [[October 2021]] letter, Chris discussed the quality of the meals by writing that the "Food's mostly good and well; not perfect meatballs (Banquet Dinners have better meatballs), and chicken is often dry."<ref>[[Jail Letter - 4 October 2021]]</ref>

As of 3 [[May 2022]] (following his three month stay at [[Western State Hospital]]), his weight noticeably dropped since he was unable to exploit the "begging for junk food money" loophole he once had access to, and his final mugshot taken upon his release on 27 [[March 2023]] showed him having shed even more pounds. After exiting incarceration, Chris has regained all of his lost weight, especially underneath his neck.

==Hydration and water consumption==
[[File:Water and Dasani.jpeg|150px|thumb|Chris's water bottle and a Dasani bottle.]]
[[File:Anti corona device.jpg|200px|thumb|What Chris actually believes manifests his "powers" in our world.]]

Before 2020, Chris rarely drank water and focused a lot more on [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]).<ref>[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772143]</ref> This was such that an entire page of the CWCki is [[My Coke Rewards|partly dedicated to just how much Coca-Cola he drank over the span of two years]].

The earliest known case of this was Chris [[A Week With Christian Chandler|documenting in one of his high school senior year projects]] that on the way to [[Card games#Books-A-Million|Books-A-Million]] to play a children's trading card game, he would stop at a gas station to "fill his sports bottle with some refreshing soda pop"<ref>A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 2</reF>. It's very possible he did this once every week and that it was a starting point for his health issues in the intervening years.

On many of the days between 6 March 2007 and 4 September 2009, Chris drank about 1.8 liters (over 3 pints) of Coke ''every day'' (assuming that none of it was drunk by his equally [[obese]] [[Borb|parents]]), so he could gain points on My Coke Rewards. This represents a grotesque 195 grams (nearly 7 ounces) of sugar per day from Coke alone, representing almost ''800'' calories (1/3 of his daily calorie intake). To put that in perspective, Chris drank enough Coke to fill ''10 oil barrels'' in order to get the amount of points he got. [[30 Push-Ups|Needless to say]], the effects are staggering. On record, he apparently consumed a whopping ''120 cans of cola'' on 9 April 2008, 24 March 2009, and 15 August 2009!

Before his arrest in [[July 2021]], Chris drank tons of water from a Glacee water bottle with an [[Magic stones|amethyst crystal]] inside. He believes that there are many health problems that drinking water in this fashion alone can cure, such as food poisoning. While this is not actually true, it's at least far healthier than drinking tons of soft drinks. Ever since the discovery of himself being Goddess CPU Blue Heart, he had used this bottle constantly as a way to charge up his "powers", in order to help further the merge into its future stages. The reason he went with the amethyst crystal is most likely the same reason that he uses his [[Amnyfest Ring]] in the comics as his main source of power. Therefore, Chris used this bottle as a way to inadvertently make his powers stronger.

As of 2023, Chris has developed an interest in the popular energy drink G Fuel, likely because the brand is known to constantly release flavors in partnership with various gaming/media franchises, an unsurprising example being that [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (July)|he was seen looking at]] [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]-themed G Fuel cans [[Post-jail sightings|during a post-jail release shopping trip]]. Given the canned drink has an average of 300 mg of caffeine (equivalent to about 3 cups of coffee), it's likely Chris may soon slip back into erratic behavior patterns.

==Results of Chris's Diet==
{{Main|Chris and health}}

===Obesity===
{{Main|Obesity}}
[[File:Fat chris.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris showing off his gut in [[October 2017]], as an attempt to make [[Jessica Quinn]] regret breaking up with him. It didn't work.]]

Chris has been overweight for all or nearly all of his adult life, and obese for a large portion of it.

===Dental hygiene===

Chris's [[Fangs|teeth]] have obviously suffered greatly during the decades of constant sugary abuse. Several videos in which he exposes his teeth have revealed that his molars are extremely rotten and full of cavities, while his frontal teeth are yellowish at best and an olive colour at worst. This, combined with his infamous lack of hygienic prowess, means that it's flat out a miracle that all his teeth haven't fallen out at this point.

===Behavioral issues===

Caffeine is a well-known [[Anger|stimulant]] and can impair one's ability to [[Biological Clock|sleep]]. Chris's drinks all have plenty of caffeine in them, from coffee to [[Coca-Cola]]. Chris is undoubtedly addicted to both, and cups of coffee were spotted throughout the hallway in [[14 Branchland Court]] just before the coffee ''maker'' [[2014 house fire|burned the entire house down]].

===Fecal incontinence===
{{Main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS}}

It is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his fecal incontinence (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence.<ref>{{w|Fecal incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia.}}</ref> Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how long. Irritable bowel syndrome may be another reason for Chris's problems with controlling his bowels. The cause of IBS is not known, but two major triggers are [[stress]] and poor diets, with wheat, dairy, and carbonated drinks being known IBS triggers.<ref>Mayo Clinic: [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20360016 Irritable bowel syndrome]</ref> Chris has given testament to fast-food not agreeing with him.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#Whopperito]]</ref> However, being raised on a poor diet, it's unlikely he'll stop eating junk anytime soon.

{{clear}}

==Denial of poor diet==

Chris often denies that his diet is doing more harm to him than good. In the [[Father Call]], Chris constantly lies about his poor eating habits to an unimpressed Matthew Devoria. At one point, [[Autism|he went off on a tangent]] about how he stuffed vegetables and fruits down his throat; this was after Matt metaphorically compared [[Kacey|his daughter]]'s book reading to how much candy Chris probably consumes.

==References==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
{{Health}}

Chris and health

2026-04-17T20:54:24Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{HealthDisclosure}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>[[Mailbag 2#The Guitar Hero workout|Mailbag 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life, illustrated prior to his identifying as [[transgender]].]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health''' – physically or mentally. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], and [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], he has a high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart failure, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

Compounding matters is Chris's habit of applying [[magical thinking]] to matters of health concerns, believing that someone's seizures and hallucinations are a sign of developing psychic powers<ref>[[The Place chats (October 2020)#Chaotic Rainbow Clues and Genderbent Dimension]]</ref> and that he could recover from a high heart rate simply by mental command.<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref>

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Chris and nutrition}}

Put simply, Chris is a fatty. Unfortunately, he continues to deny this fact, and often lies that he cooks for himself often. Chris's diet actually consists largely of fast food from [[McDonald's]], which is admittedly not unlike the diet of many Americans. He claims to usually only eat fast food salads, but the caloric content of the salads often exceeds that of fast food burgers after adding the sauce that comes with them. His diet contributes in large part to many of his health issues, as well as his [[Financhu Crisis|financial problems]].

After spending three months in [[Western State Hospital]], his mugshot upon returning to jail on 3 [[May 2022]] revealed him to have lost a significant amount of weight. This is likely due to Chris being completely unable to beg for money to spend on junk food. However, since his release from jail in 2023, he has quickly ballooned back to his former obesity.

==Hydration and water consumption==
{{main|Chris and nutrition#Hydration and water consumption}}

Up until 2020, Chris's water consumption was incredibly low, and his primary fluid consumption consisted mainly of carbonated drinks, as revealed by [[Chris]] having 8,000 [[My Coke Rewards]] points. For reference, buying and redeeming a 36-can pack of Coke is only equivalent to 25 points. This data point gives Christorians a metric in determining the amount of soda that Chris had actually consumed. In fact, it is estimated that between the 6th of [[March 2007]] and the 4th of [[September 2009]], Chris drank around 2,500 bottles of Coca-Cola.

Chris's heavy consumption of carbonated beverages is also illustrated in a video in [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta: Semen Flavor|2009]], wherein Chris creates his infamous 'Semen Flavored Fanta' at the request of [[Ivy]]. Chris believed that in consuming his own reproductive fluids, he could 'recycle' his semen and protect his fertility, as he likely thought men were subject to the female factoid of being "born with all of their eggs they'll ever have". The belief in this concept alone gives Christorians great insight into Chris's incorrect view of not only biology, but of how consumption of food and beverages works in the human body.

Contrary to his previous practices, it seems that after 2020, Chris's water consumption has increased as he has often been seen with a ''Glaceau'' water bottle. However, as early as [[January 2018]], [[Chris]] expressed a favoring of water<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Water]]</ref> Inside said bottle is an [[Magic stones|amethyst crystal]] which Chris believes heals him and 'recharges' his powers, as he believes the powers from the crystal are transferred into the water. This may be derived from the ancient Greeks, who believed that amethyst could protect its owner from drunkenness and that drinking vessels made from it would prevent intoxication.

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is [[I AM STRONG|Strong]] and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20111128031730/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts with the dark background of his room while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. Chris never seemed to show interest in actual exergaming titles, such as ''Dance Dance Revolution'' or ''Wii Fit''. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, he is capable of dancing in place for over seven minutes in [[WelcometoBollywood]]. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of ''Minute Maid'' lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should it have come to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely [[Kick the Autistic|have his ass handed to him]].

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point, he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and has to take six breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's downright pathetic musculature may at least partially stem from [[Wikipedia:Hypotonia|hypotonia]] (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Bicycling===
Chris has owned several bicycles over the course of his life, but it is unknown if he ever rode any of them regularly. The most recent one was lost in the hoard sometime before [[2010]]. Chris has made the occasional reference to biking over the years:

* In [[Kacey Call 18]], he claims to have a scar above his left breast from a bicycle accident he had when he was about five to seven years old.
* Chris received a bike as a [[Christmas]] present in [[1990s|1995]].
* In his [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]], Chris claims that he always wears a helmet when he rides a bike.
* In [[Jackie Chat 6]], [[Jackie]] asks Chris to make a video of himself riding his bike. Chris claims that his bike is buried among junk and that he can no longer access it.

{{Wise|he would need to begin exercising regularly in spring [[2018]] for him to be in shape while in [[CWCville]].<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (LoveYouLongTime)#Gym]]</ref>}}

===Anytime Fitness===
{{main|Anytime Fitness}}
At the manipulation of the [[Idea Guys]], Chris began exercising and going to the gym. He was [[ban]]ned from an Anytime Fitness branch, due to a combination of complaints from fellow gym-goers about Chris being gassy, and [[weens]] harassing the gym. Chris later claimed he was still going to another branch. Chris has given no further updates on his gym membership.

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>[[October 2018 social media posts#Nature walk]]</ref>}}
[[File:Dead fitbit.jpeg|thumb|Chris's [[Fitbit]]]]

The exercise habit from the Idea Guys stuck with Chris temporarily, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and his mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his [[Region 10]] support group.<ref>[[September 2018 social media posts#Magic stones]]</ref> In [[December 2018]], he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would've seemed that Chris had started to pay at least some attention to one facet of his health. However, only a few months later, it appears that he has left his treadmill to rust.

In 2018, Chris tried to sell a [[Fitbit]] activity tracker. However, no one bought it, and he kept using it.<ref>[[April 2018 social media posts]]</ref> He did 23,000 steps on a [[Walking to the post office|walk to the post office and back]]. In January 2019, he released his Fitbit info to the [[Brony Babes]] group. Eventually, though, Chris gave up on walking, mostly using the Fitbit to [[biological clock|monitor his sleep]].<ref>[[May 2019 social media posts]]</ref><ref>[[June 2019 social media posts]]</ref>

In [[March 2021]] in a conversation on [[The Place]],<ref>[[The Place chats (March 2021)#Ivy Creek]]</ref> Chris stated he had visited the Ivy Creek Natural Area, a 219 acre nature reserve,<ref>https://ivycreekfoundation.org/</ref> and did a lap of its walking track, as well as meditating on a rock. Ivy Creek has several trails ranging from 2.5 kilometers (1.6 miles) in length to just 200 meters (0.1 mile). It is unclear which trail Chris took.

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight. He quickly abandoned it, though, after a barrage of blocks from fellow participants and voice actors for [[My Little Pony]].

===Exercise in Jail===

According to [[Jail Letter - 8 November 2021 (Eels and the Eggman)|a few]] [[Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 (Eels and the Egg-man)|jail letters]], Chris's primary means of exercise in jail is playing basketball in the recreation room. However, a letter from a Twitter fan known as "Eels and the Egg-man" also shows that he was restricted from the recreation room, though Chris has not disclosed the reason for this. Any other potential means of exercise for Chris in jail are yet to be revealed.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20140823175516/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]]. Note the pale orange-red staining on the [[ShowerClean|improperly cleaned]] tiles, suggesting a case of a ''[[wikipedia:Serratia marcescens|Serratia marcescens]]'' bacterial colony, a type of bacteria capable of causing everything from urinary tract infections to meningitis.]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [https://web.archive.org/web/20140702004100/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of Sonichu's Axe usage, she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them, Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and, as such, doesn't get them dirty, allowing him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cameras|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already was.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Daniel Mimms|Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents), and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

A 2020 tweet suggested that Chris wears the [[Medallions|Sonichu medallion]] in the shower.<ref>[[June_2020_social_media_posts#medallions]]</ref> [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola fuckin' Model Magic and acrylic paint]] are both porous when hardened, and as such, the medallion will absorb grime such as soap scum and skin cells when Chris showers with it. The medallion has also grown more and more filthy and discolored due to contact with hot water.

Chris stated in a [[November 2021]] that he was highly encouraged to shower daily with Bob Barker or Irish Spring soap, a towel, and shampoo, while in jail, bringing hope that Chris's hygiene improved drastically at the time. Chris claimed that he was "VERY clean".<ref>[[Jail Letter - 16 November 2021]]</ref>

{{clear}}

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's Log, Stardate February_10th, 2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

Chris may also suffer from [[facial blindness]]. This may exacerbate some of his current health issues, because there are indications that he legitimately cannot see the way his unhealthy lifestyle has affected his appearance, thus removing an incentive to change.

One of Chris's half-brothers, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|abuse of a black-market drug]] for the latter.

==Hearing and speech==
''Main article: [[Speech impediment]]''

Little is known about the current state of Chris's hearing, but the [[Autism papers]] said he suffered from high-frequency hearing loss in early childhood. Chris has also exhibited signs of tone-deafness; his [[music]]al performances show little semblance of melody at all.

Chris is known for his [[Speech impediment|unusual way of talking]], which goes beyond just having a Southern accent. He mixes up, clutters, and substitutes sounds regularly. He also often talks quickly and slurs his words, and when he doesn't, his voice takes on a staccato rhythm. His voice itself is a very severe deformity, ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year-old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[autism]] is a lack of variation in speech, such as tone, pitch, and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far-from-normal voice: autists often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone.

In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than in his later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact that he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery sometime later in his life.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]] and poor dental hygiene.

In a [[June 2021]] chat, Chris mentioned that he had an appointment for a root canal and for prep work to install a crown on one of his back teeth.<ref>[[WCT DMs#Dental appointment]]</ref>

In a [[November 2024]] tweet, Chris wrote that he had two missing teeth, which had been broken and then extracted. He mentioned needing $11,000 for "transplants" (apparently confusing the term with implants).<ref>[[November 2024 social media posts#Dental and financial situation]]</ref>

On 29 [[March 2025]], Chris did a livestream and said that he wanted at least $50 in donations because of his dental situation.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough]]</ref> He also claimed that he brushes his teeth twice daily with an electric toothbrush.

On 17 [[May 2025]], Chris did a livestream and revealed that he finally got the implants for his broken teeth.<ref>[[Jesus Christ Chan - Sonic 2006 Speed Playthrough Part 3]]</ref>
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

It is known that Chris's father, Bob Chandler, had a long history of heart problems. Knowing this, Chris should have realized he was at a far higher risk of inheriting cardiac disorders and related risk factors. Thanks to his poor decisions regarding his own health, he has made an already bad situation worse.

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured had begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he had hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris's prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regimen, although he has been drinking more water recently, due to his belief that putting a crystal in his water bottle will give him magical powers.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris's blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are surprisingly healthy levels considering his lifestyle.<ref>[[January 2019 social media posts#High cholesterol]]</ref>

In [[June 2019]], Chris, via [[MagiChan111448|his sockpuppet account]], claimed to have suffered a heart attack and that he went to the emergency room.<ref>[[June 2019 social media posts#Heart attack claim]]</ref>. However, it turned out to have been a case of heartburn - [[Doctor McGovern]] referred to it as a gastro issue and advised taking Tums.<ref>[[:File:MergeComic11.jpg]]</ref>

In [[September 2019]] during a chat in [[The Place]], Chris revealed his blood pressure monitor read at "Level One Hypertension".<ref>[[The Place chats - Ben Saint]]</ref> If this is correct that would mean Chris' cardiovascular health had declined rather rapidly in only a few months since the [[January 2019]] blood pressure screening<ref>[[https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/high-blood-pressure/understanding-blood-pressure-readings]]</ref>. To remedy this Chris performed [[Meditation|meditation]] as well as purchasing potassium supplements and [[Chris and nutrition|one salad]]. It is unknown whether Chris made any long-term changes to his diet.

In [[September 2020]], during a conversation in The Place, Chris complained of "blood pressure spikes". Due to Chris being generally [[autism|incompetent]], it is unclear whether these were heart palpitations or genuine blood pressure spikes. Either explanation is a reasonable possibility given the medical information he previously provided. Chris also revealed he was on [[Chris and drugs|4 prescription medicines]], any of which may cause symptoms that Chris could mistake for a blood pressure spike.

Thirteen days after his complaints of blood pressure spikes, Chris messaged The Place complaining of dimensional disturbances, "jarring heart rate to high numbers". At the request of [[Kyle]], Chris states that the heart rate spikes have caused "brief disable and paralysis". It's revealed by Chris that his heart rate read higher than 93bpm at one point during this episode<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Blood Pressure Spikes]]</ref>. A few days later, Chris complained of a high heart rate. At [[Hurtful Truth Level|hedgehog]]'s suggestion, Chris saw Doctor McGovern about this ailment,<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#High Heart Rate]]</ref> receiving an EKG scan and a standard checkup. He stated that his doctor "expressed some perplexed emotions and feelings" but "essentially played it off as foreseen"... [[CWC-isms|whatever that means]].<ref>[[The Place chats (September 2020)#Doctor Visit]]</ref>

==Excretory health==
{{main|DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|Piss}}

Chris has had a long history of fecal incontinence. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

Chris also has a history of urinary tract infections, despite the condition being uncommon in men.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris revealed that he put soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]
[[File:CWC Joker.jpg|thumb|Quite a stirring coincidence.]]

[[Chris and mental healthcare|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because [[autism]] isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" – such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch – he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For well over a decade, he has been led on by various [[trolls]] pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he continually falls for it. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation, and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years – because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into [[debt]] to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered, and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara Chandler#Pampering of Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an inability to recognize people's faces, a medical condition formally known as [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia]] and informally known as [[facial blindness]]. For example, during the [[Blanca Weiss|Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca, and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20140825091156/http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This is how the Trial went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Chris and his ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>[[Chris's letter to Cathy Weseluck]]</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stressed from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}
[[File:Jailart8-28-3.jpg|thumb|A piece of [[OfficialCWCmart Jail Art|Jail Art]] in which Chris spergs about prophecies.]]
An employee at Earthbound Trading Co. had stated that when Chris was at their store, he was mumbling and talking about things in the store <ref>https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/13v4vtx/comment/jm4r5br/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3</ref>, so judging by that, he's not doing so well.

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 35° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Transgender}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref name=houseclean></ref> Oestrogel has several health risks such as but not limited to; fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref name=houseclean>[[August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning]]</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill but failed to connect the dots and see that taking overdoses of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of [[Solaray Female Hormone Blend SP-7C]] in [[August 2016]], which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (MasterDisaster)#Fenugreek Seeds]]</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that, considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing, which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more of a hassle than it was worth and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him'''.

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://archive.md/KbKpe</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In [[January 2017]], Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Sickness==
[[Image:Sick CWC.png|thumb|Chris, under the weather.]]

On 4 [[March 2009]], Chris revealed in a video that he has been suffering from a bug.<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Video]]</ref> Chris's voice is noticeably different. He later told everyone to give [[BlueSpike]] a cold virus if ever encountered in public,<ref>[[CWC Update 4 March 2009#Epilogue]]</ref> though he retracted it hours later.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> Later in the day, Chris would say in a [[Mumble]] chat that he has been having a "sinus infection, and possibly also a cold," and that he's been having plenty of [[Fanta|orange juice]] and chicken noodle soup.<ref>[[Mumble 11]]</ref> In another Mumble chat the following day, Chris claimed he had last checked his temperature earlier in the day, reading 96.8° (presumably Fahrenheit).<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref> Chris claims that he will [[Love Quest#Returning to real life|go outside to meet women locally]] as soon as he gets over the virus. Chris would later be spotted out of the house for [[Chris and religion|church service]] on 15 March.<ref>[[Church Visit]]</ref>

Chris got sick again a few months later in early [[July 2009]], having a "virus in [his] throat." He appears and sounds ill during the [[Chris-chan Discusses...|Larry Bundy Jr. interview]], having a few moments of coughing and a noticeable bug bite on his forehead. Chris mentions "taking it easy," and that he had been consuming ice cream, lemonade, tea, and orange juice. He also drinks {{w|root beer}} during the interview, a carbonated beverage which likely only worsened his inflammation.<ref>[[Chris-chan Discusses...]]</ref>

On 15 [[January 2011]], in an email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris admitted to lying about being sick to avoid fulfilling supposed promises he had made.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest]]</ref> However, Chris did claim to have suffered from [[stress]]-induced stomachaches and a runny nose from crying due to a [[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Borb vs MAGfest|family conflict]]. In mid-[[2014]], Chris answered on [[OkCupid]] that he often or would ''never'' call in sick to [[work]] or [[school]] when he is not actually ill.<ref>[[List of OkCupid Answers#LevelUpKing profile]]</ref>

On 6 [[February 2011]], in another email with [[LoveYouLongTime]], Chris retold his week, talking about getting antibiotics for a bladder infection:
{{quotebox|<nowiki>The past week has been fair, but half-weak at the end. The past few days, I have been enduring the pains of a bladder/urinary infection. I saw my doctor, and he prescribed some antibotics for me. It was Thursday night when it started; I felt burning pains at my pee-hole; I only got about less than four hours of sleep at first. The pains kept me awake. Then I awoke at 3AM, and after one set of short excretions (#1) sitting on the john, I found a bit of blood in the water.</nowiki>

I called for the doctor appointment at about 9:00AM. I have been forced to remain at home on the sound experience from my mother, who has had similar experiences and similar antibiotic prescription, that I would feel weighed down and stuck at home for a number of days.

Friday, it was obvious that I felt soo tired, but I mustered the energy to see the doctor, and pick up my prescription after an hourly wait at my local CVS. I arrived back home at about near 2:45 PM; I took my first antibiotic pill, and [[crash into slumber|crashed on the couch for an appreciated number of hours of less pain-interrupting sleep]]; I awoke later at about 10:20 PM.

Mom has been most helpful and caring to me during the time. After awaking, I felt some mild headaches (I had worse headaches during Friday afternoon as well), and I felt afraid that if I raised myself up, it would get worse for me.

<nowiki>Thankfully my mother came in for a visit and talked to me; I eventually mustered the energy to get up with minimal pain. Then I went to the bathroom for #1; less burning, but I felt pain during excretion and had to make more effort to push it out. Then after flushing and washing my hands, I returned to my couch and my mother. She brought me a carton of orange juice and a carton of chocolate soy milk. The vitamins from both have been helpful.</nowiki><ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|As for my ailment, today I have felt better, surprisingly the antibiotics didn't weigh me down, or so I thought. I had overslept and missed [[church]], but this afternoon I went out, got some tea with lemonade (an "Arnold Palmer", LOL) and something to eat. After eating, I felt the blood going to my gut worse than I had felt it before (probably the side-effect of the Antibiotics); I marched forward to take a walk around [[Wal-Mart]] for a while. A later Aftershock gut pain shortened the walk, so I drove myself back home to my couch with my full big cup of tea. And now I type you this message.

Depending on how I feel in due time, I plan on going to the Valentine's Dance at the Key Center on the 12th (this coming Saturday), but that's still a wait-and-see.

I feel need to back off for now, but I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe, Dearest

Love,

Christian.<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#UTI]]</ref>}}

On 6 [[December 2011]], Chris claims that he is sick in a voicemail message,<ref>[[Voicemail greeting#6 December 2011]]</ref> possibly due to the bug infestation at [[14 Branchland Court]] around that time.<ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref> On 17 December, Chris mentioned he is still recovering from "sickness and emotions."<ref>[[LoveYouLongTime E-mails, 2011-2012#Lost Inspiration for Sonichu]]</ref>

On 17 [[October 2016]], Chris would make a post on [[Facebook]] saying he has a cold in his "throats":
{{quotebox|Well, I have a cold in my throats at its worst yesterday and today. Chicken Noodle Soup, fluids and rest for me today.

Have a good and safe day.<ref>[[October 2016 Facebook posts#Chris has a cold]]</ref>}}
The following day, Chris would upload a [[I'm sick; we need money donations; no video requests for a while|video begging for money and saying he is sick]]. Chris mumbles that he cannot raise his voice above a whisper and claims he hasn't been able to for three days. He also says he has been enjoying chicken noodle soup, but he is running low on both soup and money. Chris presumably took a break from paid video requests due to the cold in his throat.

On 21 [[December 2016]], Chris would make a post claiming that he is feeling a burning in his sinus, and provided some wisdom:
{{quotebox|Nugget of wisdom: You work and stress often, you leave yourself vulnerable to a virus. A stressful life is not a healthy one, and I feel for you if your life is a constantly stressful one beyond your own control. Ugh.<ref>[[December 2016 Facebook posts#A nugget of wisdom]]</ref>}}

On 15 [[February 2017]], Chris posted to [[Facebook]] that he was feeling sick:
{{quotebox|I feel like a cold virus is hitting me down. Scratchy throat and coughs with mild chest pain. Not to mention the dizzy feeling from a leveled-up vertigo spell. I have soup and Tussim DM; I'll recover soon. Thank you.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Feeling sick]]</ref>}} The following day, Chris would upload a video of himself [[A browsing around an ol' playground|taking a walk around a playground in Harrisonburg, Virginia]], including a short video intro message from a sick Chris. On 18 February, Chris would mention in a post about how the cold is still bothering him:
{{quotebox|Six Days to until I hit the big 3, 5. And this cold is a pain itself to me right now. Not to mention the [[stress|stresses]] I have to face in my life.<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>}}
On 21 February, he would post that he is "feeling some better."<ref>[[February 2017 Facebook Posts#Countdown to 35th birthday]]</ref>

On 7 [[December 2019]], Chris would post about pain and a "possible virus" he is experiencing, claiming it is "very serious":
{{quotebox|Night last troubling still me. Up shook I not am only still. Virus possible. Rest need I. Bed in I am.

Else to everyone, want laugh you all; this serious is very.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
{{quotebox|Night last you I told last while long will stress this.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
When asked if he was okay or if something had happened, Chris replied:
{{quotebox|...Feel Well I Not. Rest Need I. Hurts Head. ...... UTI up acting. P waiting to. Know feeling not I well am. Yes, recover I be will. Super Stressed Ears Pachirisu Round Face to got me. E-mail received [[Dimensions#R-687|#ProjectSNT]] vent with. Expected Courtney did than better that I. Napkin. ⚡️💙⚡️<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#UTI, Chris has]]</ref>}}
Chris would give out updates on the virus/cold on the following couple of days.
9 December update:
{{quotebox|Cold Virus update: my voice is shot. That grinds my gears and pisses me off. Continuing on with simple rest, meditation, positivity maintenance, and taking medicine, vitamins, enjoying chicken noodle soup, and drinking lots of water.

Making a kettle of tea with fresh lemon juice. I’ll enjoy it hot from the ol’ mug of my father’s.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
10 December update:
{{quotebox|Good morning. I am still recovering, the virus is being stupid, but I’m psychically pushing it away, yet it decided to attack my throat again. At least my voice is not shot again.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris loses his voice]]</ref>}}
12 December update:
{{quotebox|Hey, y’all. Update on this cold: it’s giving me nasal problems now, and it still lingers in the throat. It does not feel as bad as earlier.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris explains his triggering]]</ref>}}
13 December update:
{{Quotebox|Cold update: my throat is no longer feeling soar and my nose is feeling less leaky; feeling pretty good right now. 😊<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Cold update]]</ref>}}
On 19 December, Chris mentioned his sickness again on [[Discord]] at [[The Place]] when discussing [[ProjectSNT]]:
{{quotebox|Hey, @everyone. I’ve been mostly offline for the while now. Waring Down a sinus infection now. What is the current status on y’all’s part? Also, has Courtney responded to any of you all?<ref>[[The Place chats - ProjectSNT and Opuscon789#More Seething Towards SNT]]</ref>}}
On 24 December, Chris would post that his sinus infection is gone.<ref>[[December 2019 social media posts#Chris is cured]]</ref>

On 12 [[February 2020]], Chris posted about being sick and experiencing nasal blockage:
{{quotebox|Happy Birthday, #TaraStrong!

Your day is better than mine right now; enjoy your day.

(This cold virus hit me a bit more, but at least it’s not as much in my throat now. ¡Hola!, nasal blockage).

[[File:EQlc94RXUAAQb8A.jpeg|300px]]

But, yes, even Deities can get sick.<ref>[[February 2020 social media posts#Fresh Live Stream 2]]</ref>}}

Despite taking the [[COVID-19]] vaccine twice,<ref>[[COVID-19#Vaccination]]</ref> Chris still caught the virus (five times according to Chris)<ref>[[February_2024_livestreams#Round_2_-_Media_Share_Suggestion_Live_Stream]]</ref>. On 5 [[February 2022]], while in jail, Chris tested positive for COVID-19. Chris journaled updates spanning several days about his current condition in his [[Goddess Logs]]. In [[November 2025]], Chris suspected that he had gotten the virus again and posted about his "experience" "identifying" it.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#Covid repeat]]</ref>

Chris's [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid answers]] reveal that he prefers having company when sick rather than being left alone, and he only likes being read to aloud when he is sick.

==Body Tremors==
In [[November 2020]] in a chat on [[The Place chats (November 2020)|The Place]] Chris posted the following message:

{{quoteboxyellow|speaker = Chris (as Sonichu)|time = 04:23 PM|@everyone, this is a Red Alert. I am sensing a major problem arising. This body is shaking quite a bit right now, and I am doing my best to keep it stable.}}

Obviously, this is not a sign of the [[Dimensional Merge]] as Chris believes, but rather is likely due to his [[McDonald's|high-sodium diet]] and poor [[Biological clock|sleep schedule]]. Chris goes on to explain he had only gotten 2 hours of sleep that night, and [[Kyle]] attempts to figure out whether Chris just had a stroke or a seizure, all while Chris, uninterested, talks about the Dimensional Merge.

During this episode, Chris' shakes lasted from 4:23 PM at the time of the first message to 5:06 PM when he advised The Place they had stopped.

Chris also admitted in a [[March 2021]] conversation on [[The Place chats (March 2021)|The Place]] that he had suffered from [[CWC-isms|"body quakes"]]. In his infinite wisdom, Chris blamed this on the [[Dimensional Merge]] and "feeling massively strong energies" rather than his incredibly poor diet, lack of exercise, and being 40-odd years old. When [[The WCT|the WCT]] asked Chris if the "body quakes" were painful, he responded that they were "only mildly, more of an annoyance". Chris, of course, did not see a doctor about this.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[COVID-19]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

{{References}}

{{Health}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

Chris and gender

2026-04-17T19:53:10Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{Dated}}

{{quote|When I feel like totally grossed out with even an image of a penis, and recalling and focusing on a vagina image in my mind usually works|Chris<ref>[[Misc texts#Desiree Delightful]]</ref>}}

[[File:CWC gets kicked.jpg|thumb|Chris's gender issues in a nutshell.]]

Similar to [[Chris and religion|the topic of faith]] and [[Chris and kindness|the topic of morality]], Chris's actual beliefs on '''gender''' and how it is classified are more complex than his stated beliefs. For someone so preoccupied with gender identity, Chris displays a staggering ignorance of how either gender typically behaves, and his views of both genders are extremely warped due to him taking the stereotypes he is presented with in [[Chris and television|television]] and [[music]] [[Autism|at face value]].

==Understanding of Biological Sex==
{{Quote|Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?|An actual question from Chris's OkCupid, asking him about a proposed intersex child.<ref name = cupid>[[List of OkCupid Answers]]</ref>}}
{{quote|If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).|Chris, answering by opposing the idea of giving his proposed kid a sex-change surgery, often misconstrued as Chris wanting to transition in order to attract lesbians.<ref name = cupid></ref>}}
The point at which Chris draws the line at someone being "male" or "female" appears to be based on a number of external traits which he notices about them, such as their "attractiveness" and what body parts they have.

This is apparent when he called [[Bailey Jay]] a "hermaphrodite", and compared the discovery of her being transgender to scenes from "''The Crying Game''" and "''The Cleveland Show''" involving transgender characters, entailing that he believed that all trans people who identify as "women" were either just men in dresses (who he often grouped with the [[homos]]), or true and honest women that just happened to have a penis. Predictably, his measuring stick in this regard was seemingly based on how "pretty" he deemed them, or how much he liked them, much like with Bailey, whom he admitted having conflicting feelings about, and even apologized to after she admitted to being hurt by Chris's comment. Inversely, he refused to show any sort of respect towards [[Jeff Ouzuo|Francine]]'s identity, calling her voice shrill, and making comments about how little she did in terms of transitioning.<ref name=gatekeeping>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref> Chris however, never applied this criteria to himself, deeming himself as a sort of [[Chris and his ego|paragon of femininity]], depicting himself as such when he deemed himself a CPU Goddess, and boasting about his own transition milestones, despite many people noting he didn't look much different from how he did before.<ref name=gatekeeping>[[I Am me; He is not]]</ref>

Chris however stated a couple of times that if he were to have a "hermaphrodite" for a child, he'd raise them as a boy.<ref name = hit>[[Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?]]</ref> When asked about raising an intersex child, or a child "whose sex cannot be determined", he took this to be referring to his oddly specific definition of the term, saying that he'd also raise them as a boy for not having ovaries, even referring to them by he/him pronouns, in the hopes of them scoring all kinds of women (including lesbians), further indicating he also views biological sex through the lens of a person's genitals.<ref name = cupid></ref> Chris also seems to deem trans women who do get surgery as "fully female", as evidenced by him referring to Rosechu and Sylvana as such after having their penises removed, giving further credence to this.

Despite this, Chris also believes that all bodies, regardless of whether they are "male" or "female", all have the same physiological functionalities under the correct circumstances, and that someone's sex can be easily changed. He, for example, believed that those with a penis [[Pregnant Act|can get pregnant]], theorizing that it may be possible by his mate's egg winding up inside him, and getting fertilized by his sperm. Chris similarly proposed the idea that those who are born male may actually have a vagina inside of them, misconstruing the biological fact that human fetuses have "female" organs (such as nipples and developing vulvas) before getting a Y chromosome, leading to the [[Self-inflicted taint wound|second instance]] where he mutilated his own taint.<ref>[[Reddit#Can males be born with a hidden vagina (minus the uterus)? (3 July 2016)]]</ref> Chris had also shared two clickbait articles on Facebook, which stated that one's sex is merely what one is assigned with at birth, to which [[William Elliott Waterman]] pointed out was factually incorrect, sharing another article.<ref>[[July 2016 Facebook posts#Sharing Clickbait Articles]]</ref> Chris also believed that trans women can get periods the same way that cis women do, as evidenced by a reply he had made towards the trans influencer LifeofBria, where she conflated getting period-like symptoms as a result of being on hormone replacement therapy with having a full-on period, a process primarily defined by the shedding of the uterine lining in preparing for a potential pregnancy.<ref>{{w|Menstrual cycle}}</ref> Chris unequivocally agreed with this, stating his own mood swings were his "period".<ref>[[July 2018 social media posts#Chris's periods]]</ref>

==Understanding of Gender Identity==
Besides his complicated views on biological sex, Chris also had a difficult time articulating his views on gender identity, a topic which he wouldn't explore until he himself tried to experiment with his own gender and presentation.

===Terminology===
Prior to transitioning, Chris had used a number of pejoratives to refer to trans people. As stated previously, Chris often grouped trans people with the homos, particularly the ones that he refused to respect the identities of, and referred to them as such. This was because he viewed homosexual men through the stereotype of them being innately effeminate or flamboyant, and even cited them "forcing their flamboyancy" on other people after he had gotten discovered on [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]].<ref>[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Homosexuals]]</ref> It was only natural then that Chris would also wind up using the term on people he strictly viewed as "effeminate men", leading to some degree of confusion on what he was referring to in some cases.

While exploring his gender identity, Chris navigated a linguistic minefield of ''transgender'', ''transsexual'', ''transvestite'', ''intersex'', ''bisexual'', ''hermaphrodite'', and his own ''tomgirl'', leading to some confusion as he adapted and experimented. On his [[OKCupid]] profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)."<ref name = cupid></ref> He told [[Jackie]] that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.”<ref name = jackie></ref> He told gal-pal [[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails|Rebeckah Bentley]] that the [[unclit]] made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now.<ref>[[Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit]]</ref> Chris also used the term ''tranny'' to describe himself prior to actually committing to being transgender, which is a can of worms due to its association as a derogatory term against trans people.

Chris also appears to believe that intersexuality is a special condition involving ANY sort of gender non-conformity within a person, including being transgender or having one's genitals changed. As stated previously, Chris has also at a time used the terms "transgender" and "intersex" interchangeably, believing that they both mean the same thing. For example, Chris on several occasions referred to himself as "intersex", due to having a penis, but having a "lesbian soul", failing to understand that the term is explicitly used for individuals that have BOTH male and female gametes, which he doesn't have.

On 14 [[August 2014]], he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Apparently unbeknownst to Chris, intersex is a chromosomal condition causing ambiguous genitalia and can present in many forms, none of which appear to be true of Chris. Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling [[Catherine]] that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "[[Three-Quarter Woman|three-quarters woman]]." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)."<ref>[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda]], [[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!]], [[Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing]], and [[September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay]]</ref> In [[April 2015]], apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine".<ref>[[April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun]]</ref> This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.

===Pronouns===
Chris tends to use the preferred pronouns of other transgender people that he likes, such as the MTF violet4151<ref>[[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]]</ref> and [[Miss Cherry]], and the FTM Lukas of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] and [[Nowacking]].

The exceptions to this occurred under troll manipulation, in the case of [[Jack Thaddeus]], who he claimed would never be a part of "femdom" after getting a sex change, and when he flip-flopped between referring to the troll transwoman character [[Jeff Ouzuo]] with female and male pronouns.

==Cis People and Gender Roles==

===Females===
{{See also|Women's rights}}

Chris repeatedly asserts his reverence for women, and seems to have a comparatively glowing opinion of them, stating that he finds women "empathetic". But, as stated at the beginning of the article, the truth is more complicated. While Chris has [[Chris and socialization|always preferred female friends]], and is known to be far more accommodating of [[Chris and sexuality|lesbians than gay men]], even going so far as to [[Chris and reality|identify as one himself]], in truth, Chris has a distinctly sexist view of [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, Chris views females as [[Sex tape|hyper-sexual]], [[Mall|preoccupied with shopping]], [[Animal Crossing Documentary|given to conversing with others for hours]], and fixated on [[PlayingHouse|getting married and having children]]. This is highly evident in his female characters in ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]''. As a matter of fact, in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. This seems to be hyperbole, but considering Chris's abysmal knowledge of the sciences, it is difficult to be sure. [[Rosechu (character)|His Rosechu character]] who is a living embodiment of how Chris believes all women behave, has a "personality" which consists solely of the traits listed above, which is considered ironic as Chris constantly tries to show Rosechu with a passion for [[Women's rights|Women's Rights]]. Despite trying to portray them as being equal in power to their [[Sonichu (species)|male counterparts]], Chris rarely depicts [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]] fighting, more often simply leaving them on the sidelines of a battle to wail like damsels in distress, even when their boyfriends are in mortal danger. Even outside battle, they tend to be little more than organic sex toys for the Sonichus.

===Males===
{{Main|JERKS}}

Chris has harbored a deep hatred for [[JERKS|men]] ever since his teenage years, because he was bullied in grade school (largely because of his bloated [[ego]] making him extremely annoying to be around), not to mention the fact that Chris is known to fly into fits of [[Chris and his ego|jealous]] [[Chris and anger|rage]] whenever he sees [[Liquid Chris|a man more successful than him]], especially if [[Clyde Cash|that]] [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|man]] [[Wes Iseli|is getting some]] and he isn't. This gradually blossomed into a general distaste for masculine traits such as body [[hair]]; indeed, in his [[nudes]] it is apparent that he is surprisingly meticulous in shaving his body hair, certainly compared to [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|other aspects of grooming]]. He also has stated, as shown in this [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|video]], a disgust for "topless men" and [[Brassieres For Males|encourages men]] to wear [[muscle bra]]s so he doesn't have to see their nipples. He even made a (now outdated) short list of the men he doesn't consider "jerks", which included himself, his [[Bob Chandler|father]] and [[Santa Clause]] ''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and English|sic]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>''. Chris's misandry continued after identifying as a "tomgirl"; he has variously referred to men in general as "barbarians" and "Neanderthals", which, coming from him, are rather ironic accusations for [[Death threats|a]] [[14 Branchland Court|number]] [[Chris and racism|of]] [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|reasons]].

Chris has since relaxed his former misandric attitude and no longer takes issue with the company of men.

==Trans People==
===Himself===
{{main|Transgender|Gender dysphoria}}

[[Image:ChrisChan Twt Bio from 4-20-21.jpg|thumb|left|Chris's Twitter bio as observed shortly before [[Jail Saga|spending nearly two years in jail]]. As of 2024, the profile matches this description.]]

It has been speculated for a long time that Chris has gender issues, confirmed in 2016 when he was diagnosed with gender identity disorder.<ref name=psychologist>Chris changed the gender marker on his driver's license to identify him as female in 2016. The procedure to do this in Virginia is to have a professional whose "practice includes the treatment and counseling of persons with gender identity issues" vouch for the person's gender identity on [https://web.archive.org/web/20161223001047/https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/webdoc/pdf/dl17.pdf this form].</ref> In 2005, he created [[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal Weston Chandler]], a female version of himself. In [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], he mentioned that you should try out the opposite gender's toys while keeping your original gender in mind, possibly indicating that he may have been in denial about transgenderism long before becoming a tomgirl. He also wondered what he would be like if he were born a female.<ref>[[Mailbag 27]] - Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?</ref>

In [[2014]] Chris came out as a "'''lesbian-identified male'''" before identifying as a "'''trans woman'''". After transitioning, Chris adopted the name '''Christine''' to accompany his new gender identity along with the corresponding personal pronouns.

In [[2019]] Chris updated his Twitter to reaffirm his gender pronouns.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1084516261097279488</ref>
{{quotebox|Also, I Am Female; please address and talk about me with the correct Pronouns. She/Her/Hers.

Thank You. 😊}}

As of 28 [[September 2020]], Chris's [[Twitter]] includes a pinned tweet reiterating that he is "Female" and uses she/her/hers pronouns. His Twitter biography also refers to himself as [[Polyamorous marriage|Mrs. Christine W. Chandler Sonichu]] and continues to emphasize the use of she/her/hers pronouns.
<ref>https://twitter.com/CPU_CWCSonichu/status/13106531744627179526</ref>
{{clear}}

===Other Trans People===
{{main|Hermaphrodite}}

Prior to transitioning, Chris had also noticeably had a fairly negative stance on other trans people, particularly trans women. Chris spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. Prior to his own exploration of transgenderism, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them.<ref>[[Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits]]</ref> “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a [[January 2009]] chat.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”<ref>[[Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!]]</ref>

===Non-binary genders===
{{quote|"I really did not know how many genders there are, but I am not and do not judge. Have a good day."|Chris's beliefs on Non-Binary Genders}}

Given how complicated a topic gender is to tackle, especially today, people will tend to argue about what classifies as a "gender" and therefore some people might argue that there exists more than two. In Chris's case, believing everything he sees without giving it a second thought, also concluded that there really are more than two genders simply looking at a Facebook post about how Facebook is allowing their users to identify themselves as 58 different genders on September 17, 2016, [[Naïve|taking it to mean that there are in fact 58 genders]]. <ref>https://archive.md/H42cq</ref> The next month, Chris is interviewed on the same topic, and is asked how many genders there are, and simply says there are 58 all because of that same Facebook post. <ref>https://archive.md/wi10r</ref>

==See also==
*[[Chris and fashion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Chris and sexuality]]
*[[Hermaphrodite]]
*[[Muscle bra]]
*[[Tomgirl Pictures]]
*[[Transgender]]
*[[Unclit]]
*[[Women's rights]]

{{References}}

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{Sexuality}}
{{Chris and}}

Chris and fashion

2026-04-17T18:07:45Z

MarcelDubois: General grammar corrections

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quote|Oh yeah, you just love to see me in my- in [[The Classic|the old red, white and blue]].|Chris to [[Kacey]]<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|thumb|Fashion passes...]]
[[File:Chris at Region 10.jpg|thumb|200px|...for a few decades, at least.]]
[[Chris]] has a somewhat peculiar taste in '''fashion'''. Although he is willing to [[Chris and money|spend thousands of dollars]] on [[video games]], [[toys]], and [[sex dolls]], Chris is very stingy when it comes to shopping for his clothes, which are usually purchased secondhand at thrift stores like [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|The Salvation Army]] and [[Wikipedia:Goodwill Industries|Goodwill]]. Prior to coming out as [[transgender]], the majority of shirts he owned were colorful collared shirts and undersized rugby shirts - most of which were decorated with horizontal stripes, which, despite being scientifically proven to have a slimming effect <ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201502/what-makes-you-look-fat-vertical-or-horizontal-lines?amp</ref>, have any such potential effects crushed by Chris's [[Obesity|impressive physique]]. [[Mailbag 42#The rugby shirt he wore for 3 days in a row isn't a favorite or anything|Mailbag 42]] revealed that at least one of these shirts (the "Advice Dog") was purchased by his [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]. Though his mother didn't directly dress him anymore, Chris still chose to wear these shirts. The advent of Chris's transgender shift was accompanied by a change to garb that may have been more feminine but was equally cheap and hideous.

==Youth to adult==
=== Childhood ===
[[Image:Ernie.jpg|thumb|200px|Ernie also enjoys "The Classic".]]

In his youth, Chris set the general tone for years to come with many striped polos, T-shirts, and khaki pants. The only difference compared to adulthood is that he sometimes dared to wear single-colored shirts with his favorite [[Sonic the Hedgehog|game]] and [[television]] characters on them. The only articles of clothing he was seen in until the summer of [[2010]] that didn't follow the "long-sleeved, colorful clown suit" theme were the yellow [[Pokémon]] T-shirt that he owned since he was 19 and a ''[[wikipedia:Sonic Heroes|Sonic Heroes]]'' T-shirt he wore throughout [[2004]]. They did not look particularly good on him.

=== Trademark clothing ===
{{see also|The Classic}}
[[File:Classic post-fire 2.jpeg|thumb|left|200px|[[The Classic]], pictured in [[April 2017]], after Chris recovered it from the hoard.]]
[[File:Chrischan5.jpg|thumb|200px|Artist's vision of Chris's typical outfit, featuring "the Horizontal Horror".]]
[[File:Chris at Target April 2019.jpg|thumb|right|200px|The Classic 2.0 in the wild]]
This is the original and most iconic look of Chris, the standard until mid-2011. It is a look immortalized in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book]] self-insertion. His outfit usually consisted of:
* His [[The Classic|favorite shirt]], a [[Chris and brand loyalty|Ralph Lauren]]<ref>In [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]], Chris claims the polo is actually a Ralph Lauren.</ref> Rugby Stripe Sueded Polo, which was so tight that it accentuated his voluptuous, masculine bosom. This is the shirt that Chris almost invariably drew himself wearing in the comics. Trolls came to call it the "clown shirt" or "The Classic". It was thought destroyed in the [[Destruction Of Chris's House|2014 fire]] that gutted the Chandler house,<ref>[[eBay]] comment: "I lost the shirt in the fire" http://contact.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&iid=191232666489&requested=jesusguidesme2&redirect=0&frm=2047675&ShowASQAlways=1&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI</ref> but later [[eBay#The Classic shirt|resurfaced for sale in 2017]], when Chris listed it for a minimum price of '''$12,000''' due to the [[Financhu Crisis]]. He had found it in a bag of damp, moldy clothes, wet from the water the firefighters had used to extinguish the flames when his house burned three years prior. He washed it, and then wore it for the first time in years when he uploaded [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt]]. The shirt was thrown out by Barb in mid-2018 - since then, Chris has worn a similar-looking shirt, with orange stripes instead of red.
* A t-shirt undershirt, typically white.
* His [[medallions]] (sporadically) and his [[High School Ring]].
* A pair of [[pedo-glasses]] attached to a chain.
* Jeans or khaki slacks. Chris's jeans typically defined his rear end to a disturbing level — he may have been wearing women's jeans, or he may have been simply wearing pants his gut long ago outgrew.
* The [[Belt Buckle of Fail]].
* Alternatively, a green terrycloth bathrobe with a mismatched (of course) black belt on occasions when he's [[April 16 Fetish Vids|in the mood]] for [[recycling]], or when even getting dressed would involve too much [[stress]].
* On occasion, a dark suit jacket, perhaps for [[Chris and death|funerals]] or [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].
* During the winter months, a dark blue parka with orange and yellow stripes to enhance visibility.
* Starting in late [[2009]], a [[bra]] to keep his previously mentioned bosom in check.

===The "IBA" outfit===
[[File:The Chronicles Of Chris-Chan- They see me trollin, they laughin'... -7-17-09-.mp4 20140516 130015.190.jpg|thumb|The "IBA" outfit, one of his most fashionable choices yet.]]
In mid-[[2009#June|June 2009]], roughly around the time he made [[Magical Man|certain friends]], Chris temporarily decided that his current look was old-hat. He got rid of many of the striped shirts (mostly because he couldn't fit into them anymore) and grew a goatee.

The reformed Chris's wardrobe consisted of:

*A plain-colored T-shirt worn over a long-sleeved shirt.
*Tattoo sleeves.
*A black vest (unbuttoned) that was too small for his girth.
*A dog tag worn around the neck as a substitute for the medallion.
*A goatee.
*Sunglasses over normal glasses (the glasses chain remains)

His new attire was first properly presented to the world in the [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video.

Soon afterward, however, he went back to sporting his traditional clown shirts and claimed that he had been pressured into making the Rollin' and Trollin' video. However, on the same day he [[That Goatee WILL Grow Back|shaved his beard]], he drew the first picture of [[Collosal Chan]], a character which preserved the look for all eternity.

===The "Gay Trucker" outfit===

[[Image:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Notice how his pose in this picture is eerily reminiscent of his pose in [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]].]]

After he promised to leave the [[Internet]] in the spring of [[2010]], Chris threw away his clown shirts, ditched the medallion for several months (it returned in [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|September]]), and picked up a new wardrobe in an attempt to look like a normal person. This included:

* A denim jacket from Goodwill that he cut the sleeves off of, making it look somewhat like a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilet gilet].<ref>[[Kacey Call 2]]</ref>
* A sleeveless white shirt, exposing his pale, flabby upper arms.
* The dog tag from his IBA outfit.
* A baseball cap.

[[File:GrayScaleChrisFullColor.jpg|thumb|left|The outfit with [[glasses]].]]

The result was a modified version of the IBA outfit. It has been observed that when Chris tries to look like a bad boy, he ends up looking like a [[Homos|gay]] [[Truck Driver|trucker]], hence the trolls' term for his new wardrobe.

The only way he could have made it look gayer would have been by combining it with his muscle bra. Which, unfortunately, he did. [[Fridays After Five|And in public]]. At this point, going back to the medallion would have actually ''improved'' his chances of picking up [[gal-pals]].

[[File:EnjoyVagaina.jpg|thumb|left|Deftly combining what Chris [[Coke|has too much of]] and what he [[China|will never have]] [[Facebook#An Open Note (4/13/2012)|with a non-prostitute]] or [[Barb|his mother]].]]

With the arrival of the gay trucker outfit also came an interest in T-shirts that boldly expressed Chris's desire for sex, often in exceedingly tasteless ways. The first clear look at one of these shirts was in a [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|profoundly disturbing video]] leaked in late [[April 2010]] which featured Chris wearing a [[parody]] shirt that changed the Mountain Dew logo so it read "Mount and Do Me". Fans hoped that since this was a private video for a potential sweetheart, Chris didn't intend to dress like that outside his [[Chris's room (14 Branchland Court)|bedroom]]. Alas, Chris destroyed any hope of that being the case on 18 [[June 2010]] when he wore a shirt that said "Enjoy Vagina" to Fridays After Five – a '''public, ''family-oriented''''' concert. He topped this by pulling that shirt over his head and standing around in his muscle bra, on which he had written: "WANT WOMAN!". The common belief was that these unfunny, sexually-themed shirts were the next evolution of the [[Attraction Sign|attraction sign]], a way for him to inform potential mates that he is available without ever having to talk to people, nor spend any effort in making a sign.

In late [[August 2010]], Chris returned to the Internet with a series of videos in which he sported simple, loose-fitting T-shirts. The effect was interesting, bringing him closer to normality than he'd been in many years. He was still a pale, sweaty, balding, fat, pathetically weak manchild, but in Ruckersville, that put him reasonably close to the mainstream.

A number of Chris's T-shirts appear to have been with him for a decade or more – a Manchester High shirt, a souvenir shirt from the BrickFest event in [[2000]], and a [[Pokémon]] trainer shirt from the Books-a-Million where Chris played [[card games]] between [[1998]] and 2000. Either he's willing to keep shirts that have some personal significance around for a very long time, or his packrat tendencies prevent him from throwing any of them away.
{{clear}}

===The [[Carlos Chantor]] outfit===
[[File:Chantor.jpg|thumb|His best outfit yet. Too bad it did not last.]]

A single picture of Chris posing as a male prostitute was posted on Escorts.com. It is significant because it implies that Chris can dress like a normal human being if he wants to remain inconspicuous.

The black shirt and sunglasses he is wearing are never seen in any later pictures.
{{clear}}

==Transgender fashion sense==
===Early fashion===
[[Image:TG19.jpg|thumb|He made himself into a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]].]]
[[File:TG10.jpg|thumb|Would you fuck me? [[It's not that cold|I'd fuck me]]. I'd fuck me HARD.]]
[[File:Chris_at_a_gay_bar.jpg|thumb|A hemline this high leaves little to the imagination.]]

In [[April 2011]], a series of leaked pictures showed Chris dressed in women's clothing in public. This outfit consisted of:

* Bright green nail polish
* Earrings (a purple glass stud and a blue ring) - Note that piercing the right ear is traditionally code for [[Homos|homosexuality]]; guess which one Chris pierced twice?
* Women's sandals
* Blue eye shadow
* Jeans
* Blue string top
* Black thong
* A silver ring (Note that silver rings have been used to symbolize a pledge of [[F Abstinence|abstinence]] until [[Lovely Weather|marriage]])<ref>[[:File:TG6.jpg]] - Chris-Tran with his new silver ring</ref><ref>[http://www.silverringthing.com/ silverringthing.com]</ref>
* A red and blue sweater vest (tank top) with a red shirt underneath it
* Red lipstick
* A new pair of [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]
* A new headband (as seen in the [[Facebook]] pictures)

While not seen in the leaked images, Chris's posts in [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] revealed he also donned skirts and panties as part of his new look.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162 Re: Girly Things Tee Hee]</ref><ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=39&p=315#p315 Re: Mothers]</ref> In [[September 2011]], Chris was also photographed carrying a purse.

Chris was very happy with his new fashion choices, but friction with his parents made it difficult for him to wear makeup and women's clothing overtly. Sometimes he had to change after leaving the house or before returning (but he could always wear a bra and panties).<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 25]]</ref>

===Late fashion===
[[File:CWC1214.png|thumb|150px|Chris in December 2014. Note that he thought that this was a convincing disguise that would prevent him from being recognized at Gamestop.]]
Chris continued to wear female clothing, albeit with some refinements, over the course of the next couple of years. Although he has long since dispensed with the clownish polo shirts and jeans, many characteristics of his tomgirl wardrobe are remarkably consistent with the way he dressed when he still wore men's clothing, especially in terms of color coordination and clothing size. He also remains committed to buying all his clothes from thrift stores, giving him the appearance of a dumpy bag lady. He summarized his style in [[November 2014]] as "colored leggings, denim skirts mini to knee length, bold colored shirts and blouses".<ref>[[Commissions#The Flufflehugs Commissions]]</ref> Some of the most frequent themes in his feminine fashion choices are:

* Clashing, violently-opposed colors (particularly red with blue or green)
* Clothing far too small for him
* Dresses or skirts with very high hems
* Leggings, to help with tucking
* Sports bras
* Big, floppy, church-lady hats
* Eye makeup, applied poorly and usually purple or blue in color

A deviation from this style was seen in the video of the [[26 December 2014]] incident, where Chris is shown in purple [[My Little Pony]] shades, (probably as a [[Honor roll|disguise]]); a silver headband, showing off his ever-receding [[hair|hairline]]; his Manchester High sweatshirt; short jeans matched with long, purple socks and/or [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|another pair of pants]]; and boots (possibly Uggs).

The fact that Chris wore skirts and makeup for each of his court hearings in 2015, even those to which [[Barb]] accompanied him, suggests that he consistently dresses this way in public, and that his mother has come to grudgingly accept her son's transgender attire.

In 2015, Chris also started dying his hair blue, but predictably failed to do it properly, and ended up dying it an ugly, seaweed green instead. Combined with his wardrobe that manages to somehow simultaneously resemble the attire of a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)| 5-year-old girl]] and a [[Barb| 65-year-old cat lady]], the resulting look has been sardonically referred to by fans as "mermaid grandma".

==Notable outfits==
===Gopnik outfit===
[[File:CWC Magfest Aftermath @BatteryEffect.jpeg|thumb|200px|left|„А ну, чики-брики!“]]
In [[December 2017]], Chris appeared in [[Cherokean Chant|a video]] dressed as a classic Russian [[Wikipedia:gopnik|''gopnik'']], wearing a striped black Adidas tracksuit jacket (with his usual ugly skirt) and cap, drinking a bottle of [[Alcohol|vodka]]. The full ensemble, as Chris wore for his famous appearance at [[MAGfest]] in [[January 2018]], consists of the cap, jacket (often unzipped over another shirt), and a pair of matching tracksuit pants (often under a skirt). However, he often swaps out the pants, and sometimes wears one element of the outfit on its own. Chris first wore the Gopnik outfit under the [[Idea Guy]]'s influence but seems to have adopted it as a mainstay of his wardrobe. In February 2018, he introduced a [[Christine Doll#Christine Doll 2.0|new model of the Christine Doll]] with the tracksuit's stripes and logo painted on. In [[April 2018]], Chris drew himself in the Gopnik outfit on the cover of [[Sonichu 17|''Sonichu'' #17]]. As recently as of [[December 2023]], Chris has been spotted in public wearing a pink version of the Adidas tracksuit jacket and the cap.

===The Vinyl Scratch===

[[File:CWCTheClassic1.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris wearing the classic with the Vinyl Scratch Skirt.]]

“The Vinyl Scratch” is a white tube skirt with a double whole music note. In 2015, Chris attended [[OmegaCon]] cosplaying as [[Vinyl Scratch]] (stage name DJ Pon-3), from the My Little Pony: “Equestria Girls” franchise, the whole note resembling her cutie mark in her pony form. However, after the convention, Chris would continue to wear the skirt that came with the outfit almost daily, likely not washing it very often, up until his arrest.

{{clear}}

==="Breathe It In"===
[[File:MANCHILDMELTDOWN.png|thumb|200px|An illustration of the shirt]]
[[File:Breathe It In.jpg|thumb|200px|A sample showing Chris wearing the shirt in videos spanning several months.]]
The '''Breathe It In''' shirt is an Athletic Works [[Walmart]]-brand women's top frequently worn by Chris beginning in mid-[[2018]]. He explained his attachment to the shirt in a tweet, commenting that "the message is always relative to the daily life and situations: “Breathe It In”."<ref>[[August 2019 social media posts#"Magi-Chan" explains how he got into this world]]</ref>

The shirt was a favorite of Chris's, which he wore quite often as he did with [[The Classic]]. Some spectators joked about the irony of the "Breathe It In" phrase against the potential odor from frequent wear. It's possible it could very well be a replacement for The Classic since he has worn it quite frequently ever since the original was thrown away, despite Chris obtaining a Mark 2 version of The Classic.

On 3 [[October 2023]], Chris was sighted at the [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Game Junkies|Game Junkies]] store in Roanoke wearing what initially seemed to be the shirt. In [[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime Resurrected and Returned]], his first video since the [[Jail Saga]], it was revealed to be a similar-looking shirt with '''"Peace - Love - Cure"''' written on it. However, the original "Breathe it In" shirt returned in [[Simple Existential Q&A]].

{{clear}}

==Headgear==
From 2017-2021, Chris increasingly wore various tiaras and crowns (alongside his [[Sonichu Medallion]]) for his shenanigans both indoors and out. Chris has since stopped wearing such headgear, with no explanation given.

<center><gallery>
File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|The [[unicorn cosplay]] in summer 2017.
File:Sonichu standee 2.jpg|A [[Sailor Moon]] tiara in summer 2018.
File:CWCfaceAugust2018.jpg|Sailor Moon tiara in summer 2018.
File:Chris at Region 10.jpg|Sailor Moon tiara with headbands in summer 2018, at the [[Region Ten]] therapist office.
File:Chriswithbensaint.png|A [[CPU]] wire tiara in summer 2019.
File:CWC Discord selfie for VoidZine server.jpg|A crown for holding [[magic stones]] against his forehead in spring 2020.
File:CWCCoinPose.jpg‎|A tiara [[Null]] requested Chris to pose in during February 2021 for a [[Kiwi Farms silver coin]] design for the [[Kiwi Farms]] merch.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Null)#Chris's Photo for Coin Merch]]</ref>
</gallery></center>

==Rings==
{{incomplete|info on rings}}
[[File:Cwchand.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris's rings, pictured [[June 2021]].]]

Chris has worn rings as part of his outfit before. Initially, he started with his [[Amnyfest Ring]], which Chris got as a souvenir at [[Manchester High School]]. He would later expand to wearing another ring after becoming a tomgirl. He then began wearing ''three'' more later on, with two of them being his parents' wedding rings repurposed for his [[polyamorous marriage]] to a gaggle of fictional characters.<ref>[[The Place chats (June 2021)]]</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''The WCT''': is there anything from your parents that you cherish the most?}}

{{quotebox|'''Chris''': Their wedding rings, for one thing, and now they’re a link between [[Polyamorous marriage|I and Magi-Chan and Cryzel]] (both of which are white gold); the silverish ring on the middle finger is with [[Sylvana]], and the Nathan Drake replica ring is with [[Mewtwo]].}}

{{clear}}

==Gloves==
In the late 2010s, Chris began wearing Gold's Gym fingerless exercise gloves, as a result of the [[Idea Guys]] influencing him into a short-lived workout fad. He wore the gloves to [[Anytime Fitness]] and also wore them in non-exercise contexts, such as when drawing the comic.<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Trickie)#Watching Chris Reference Rosechu's Story]]</ref>

In the mid 2020s, Chris began wearing white gloves in multiple videos.<ref>[[16 February 2026 Cameo videos#Go Sports Team!]]</ref><ref>[[Reading Chaos Crystal Control Act Plus, Part 1]]</ref>

<center><gallery>
File:Chris pen grip 2019.jpg
</gallery></center>
==Chris on fashion==
[[File:CWC and FourScore64 Too Many Games.jpg|thumb|Chris in a dungaree dress and leggings, 2018]]
In [[November 2016]], Chris [[November 2016 Facebook posts#Women should wear skirts|posted]] a commentary on women's fashion.

In it, Chris implored women to wear skirts with leggings instead of pants, saying to "view it from [[Attraction Sign|a pervert's perception]]: they eye downward and have Good view of the in-between, as well as easier access to picture it in their imaginations from there. With a dress or skirt concealing the area, it is actually more difficult for the perv, and, thus, more difficult to picture and imagine what is or isn't at the [[China|groin area]]."

He also requested men to consider wearing kilts - stressing to wear pants underneath, saying, "NOBODY is impressed with that [[Pickle|bulge]]; moreover, it is Absolutely Offensive," which indicates that Chris has shifted from [[Brassieres For Males|obsessing over men's chests]] to obsessing over their crotches.

==Theory of fashion==
The clothes that Christian chooses seem almost like a costume for him, especially his infamous striped shirt. Given that he is autistic, observers speculate that he may have difficulty with identifying things visually, including himself. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he alluded to having to take time to study his appearance in a mirror, possibly wearing the shirt in question.

Chris seems to regard clothing and color as an integral part of people's identities. During the events of the [[Liquid Saga]], Chris took a special interest in [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]]'s choice of a brown striped shirt, referring to Liquid as a "Brown-Striped Impostor"<ref>[[SingStar Challenge]]</ref> and fixating on Liquid's shirt as a symbol of his inauthenticity, despite the fact that Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|owns several brown shirts himself]]. Chris also believed that [[jerkop|police officers]] wearing brown or beige uniforms weren't authentic, and that true police officers only wear blue and black. He referred to the man he [[26 December 2014| pepper-sprayed]] as a [[Yellow-Shirted Foe]] – and let's not forget that the macing was inspired by [[Sega]] [[Sonic Boom Protests|changing Sonic's arms from tan to blue]].

Like many of his lifestyle changes that occurred during the Tomgirl Saga, Chris's unceremonious abandonment of his classic shirts came as a surprise to trolls who had spent years speculating on Chris's clothing as a symbol of his identity, and his usual resistance to change as a symptom of his autism. However, even in retrospect, Chris seems to hold the clothes he used to wear in very high regard as a symbol of his identity and legacy, as shown when he listed "The Classic" on eBay for a whopping $12,000. Writing after the end of the auction, Chris felt the need to commemorate the occasion with some words:<ref>[[April 2017 Facebook posts#Barb borrowed from life insurance]]</ref>

{{Quote|Yes, the shirt's auction has ended high, but I am still awaiting payment from the mother of one of my fans, who, unless remains anonymous, will have her name go down in History for not only restoring a very Iconic Artifact but also improves this artist's family's life, After the restoration and disinfection of the shirt. Her most grateful son will be proud of her for having gone down in history for Restoring the Fire-Survivor Iconic Shirt of Sonichu and Rosechu's Creator. Thank You, Missus.|Chris on why history books should remember the momentous occasion wherein some dumbass bought a moldy piece of cloth from another dumbass}}

Not only is this statement [[Chris and his Ego|extremely egotistical]] even by CWC's standards, but it also betrays the fact that Chris continues to treat a shirt that he let rot in a plastic bag for two years with an undue amount of gravitas. It seems that Chris views the clothing he has worn over the course of his life, much like [[Christopher's name change#Christopher as a separate personality|the various names he has had]], as an important symbol of his identity as it has twisted and changed. Because autistics are known to place extreme importance on inanimate objects, this can be seen as standard autistic behavior.

==Classic Wardrobe==
Below is a gallery of most of Chris's wardrobe prior to 2011, along with links to the videos in which they appeared:

===Shirts===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Christshirt1.png|"[[The Classic|The Classic]]" [[So Need a Cute Girl|1]] [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|2]] [[Pixelated PS3|3]] [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|4]] [[CWC is Angry|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|6]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009|8]] [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|9]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|10]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|11]] [[SingStar_Challenge#Watch|12]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 1|13]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 4|14]] [[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC|15]] [[Sign Destruction Video|16]] [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation|17]] [[Live Game Stream - C-Log 04192017 - The Shirt|18]]
Image:Christshirt4.png|"The Advice Dog" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 24th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|4]] [[12 January 2010|5]] [[14 January 2010|6]] [[What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N|7]] [[15 January 2010|8]] [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|9]]
Image:Christshirt3.png|"[[Liquid Chris|The Impostor]]" [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|1]] [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|2]]
Image:Christshirt5.png|"The Napoleon" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 17th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|3]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|4]] [[15 October 2009|5]] [[9 December 2009|6]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|7]] [[22 January 2010|8]] [[I am Alive|9]] [[100 2269|10]] [[A Hike|11]]
Image:Christshirt6.png|"The Racing Stripe" [[I am STRAIGHT|1]] [[CWC with Bible - Leviticus|2]] [[Congrats, Jack Black|3]] [[ECV 00002|4]] [[100 2278|5]]
Image:Christshirt7.png| "The Power Ranger" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|1]] [[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC|2]] [[LOOK at the truth!|3]]
Image:Christshirt8.png| "The Dunwich Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 12th, 2009|1]] [[More for the crabs|2]] [[ECV 00081|3]] [[Bunny Hop|4]] [[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|5]] [[CWC address to Royal Board|6]] [[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.|7]] [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|8]]
Image:Christshirt10.png|"The Two-Face" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 23rd, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|2]] [[Wigwam|3]] [[WeighIn|4]] [[Chris Sings Lovin' You|5]]
Image:Christshirt11a.png|"The Poké-Master" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt12.png|"The Horizontal Horror" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt13a.png|"The Jerkop" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|1]] [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|2]]
Image:Christshirt14.png|"The Greasy Flag" [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|2]] [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|3]] [[Matthew 5 27, CWC Confessions|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|6]] [[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts|7]] [[9 October 2009|8]] [[Warning - Naughty Women ;)|9]] [[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud|10]] [[Brutal Legend|11]] [[3 December 2009|12]]
Image:Christshirt18.png|"The Star Fleet Captain" [[CWC More Than A Feeling|1]]
Image:Christshirt17.png|"The Scuderia Autistirarri" [[Chris's Big Night Out|1]] [[10 September 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt19.png|"The Flag-Waving Patriot" [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|1]] [[A CWC Audition|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|3]] [[CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters|4]] [[Challenge for Clyde|5]] [[Brutal Legend Plus|6]] [[For_Chris#IBA.27s_video|7]] [[IPods Down and Listen Up|8]] [[Hello, Juffalo|9]] [[9 February 2010|10]]
Image:Christshirt20.png|"The Captain Falcon" [[Down with Asperchu|1]] [[CWC Update 18 March 2009 More Updated|2]] [[F Abstinance|3]]
Image:Christshirt21.png|"The DangerStripe" [[Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora|1]] [[CWC is Sad|2]] [[Address to my CWCipedia SysOP|3]] [[This was my fault|4]] [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|5]]
Image:Christshirt22.png|"The Cyclone Joker" [[The_GAMe_PLACe#The_GAMe_PLACe_Photograph|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|2]] [[CWC Callout for Miss Emily and Stephanie|3]] [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|4]] [[A message to the Trolls|5]] [[Don't Mess With Me|6]]
Image:ChrisShirt43.png|"The Swamp Monster" [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|1]] [[I like Mary Poppins|2]] [[DayOut|3]] [[FullHouse|4]] [[100 2357.MOV|5]]
Image:Christshirt23.png|"The Traffic Light" [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|1]] [[A Sonichu Day|2]] [[Shout out to Fans in Hospital|3]] [[To Clyde and Jack.MOV|4]] [[Kill De Jack|5]] [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|6]]
Image:ChristshirtPoke.png|"The Pokémanchild" [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|1]] [[Magical Man Potion|2]] [[ItIsFinished.MOV|3]] [[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt28.png|"The Rugby of Shame" [[Christian's Update 11 September 2008|1]]
Image:Parappashirt.png|"The [[PaRappa the Rapper|PaRappa]] Shirt" [[51 50|1]] [[Chris with Teen Troon Squad|2]]
Image:Christshirt42.png|"The Statesmen" [[10252009 For Kacey|1]] [[To Clyde Gregg|2]] [[For Chris II|3]]
Image:sportsbra.png|"The [[Muscle bra|Muscle Bra]]" [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|1]] [[100 2265|2]] [[ECV 00001|3]] [[Pregnant Act|4]]
Image:sportsbra2.png|"The Muscle Bra 2" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]] [[WelcometoBollywood|2]]
Image:Christshirt27.png|"The Dirty Dashiki" [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|2]] [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|5]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|6]] [[Challenge for Clyde II|7]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|8]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|9]] [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|10]] [[I am Alive|11]]
Image:Christshirt37.png|"The [[Homos|Mount and Do Me]]" [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|1]]
Image:Christshirt25.png|"The [[Duck]]ie" [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|1]] [[Secret Weapon|2]] [[YouTube Finale|3]] [[SingStar Challenge Round 5|4]]
Image:Christshirt26.png|"The Shamrock Shake" [[An Official Sonichu Update|1]] [[Sonichu Game Talk|2]] [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls|3]]
Image:Christshirt29.png|"The Shamrock Stripes" [[Chris Sex Videos|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|2]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|3]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|4]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|5]] [[Clyde Cash the kid video|6]] [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|7]]
Image:Christshirt31.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt32.png|"The Burgundy Nightmare Redux" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|1]] [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|2]]
Image:Christshirt33.png|"The Bumblebee" [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|1]] [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|2]]
Image:Christshirt35.png|"The Intimidator" [[Chris Calls Clyde Out|1]] [[I Love You Kacey|2]] [[10242009|3]] [[29 January 2010|4]] [[C-Ya Later|5]] [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|6]] [[Pregnant Act#The Remake|7]]
Image:Christshirt38.png|"The [[Rainbow]] Flag" [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|1]]
Image:Christshirt30.png|"The Big Green" [[We're Being Watched|1]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|2]]
Image:Christshirt41.png|"The White Trash" [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|1]] [[War Paint Video|2]] [[Some Favored Comedians|3]] [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|4]]
Image:Christshirt45.png|"The Happy Jack" [[CWC Dare|1]] [[June062010.MOV|2]] [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|3]] [[XBox is OK.MOV|4]] [[Message for John Kyle|5]]
Image:Christshirt46.png|"The Bordeaux Butcher" [[Apology to Emily|1]]
Image:Christshirt40.png|"The Ivory Poacher" [[25 September 2009|1]]
Image:Christshirt47.png|"The Virginian Monkey" [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|1]]
</gallery>
</center>

===Pants===

<center>
<gallery>
File:The Classic Jean.png|"The Classic Jeans"
File:Slacks.png|"The Khaki [[Work|Slacker]]"
File:Chris's yellow shorts.jpg|"The Mellow Yellow"
</gallery>
</center>

==Cross-dressing Boutique==
In recent years, Chris has ditched the clown shirts, instead opting for an arguably worse wardrobe, see below:

===Shirts===
<center>
<gallery>
Image:The Clopper.PNG|"The Clopper" [[Paid Video Requests#Josh Lover of men|1]] [[Announcement 07202016|2]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Sexual Helicopter|3]] [[Paid Video Requests#Happy Birthday, Nathan.|4]] [[Paid Video Requests#Copypasta: Gorilla Warfare|5]] [[Paid Video Requests#Singing "Yellow Submarine"|6]] [[September 2016 Paid Video Requests#Oh, Wait. I've got one more...|7]] [[Something Completely Different - A few Transformers Jokes, also anti-Pmurt|8]] [[Minor Update, Handouts!#Minor Update, plus we need more money, Please.|9]] [[Minor Update, Handouts!#We Said Donations No Less than $1.00, US, Please|10]] [[Live Drawing Streams#06072017|11]] [[CLog 06232017|12]] [[CLog 07072017 #HarassCWCdirectly#Video|13]]
Image:White tomgirl with Heart design.png|"The Shattered Heart" [[Announcement 06292016|1]] [[Announcement 06292016#Announcement 06292016-2|2]] [[Unicorns Rainbows and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 3|3]] [[Rainbows Unicorns and a Bluebird of Happiness Chapter 4|4]] [[August 2016 Paid Video Requests#Singing "All of the Lights"|5]]
Image:imdoneadulting.png|"The Broken Brony" [[November 2016 Paid Video Requests|1]] [[Feelings of the election results|2]] [[I Tweet AND Post Simultaneously|3]] [[Help, please|4]] [[Patreon announcement|5]] [[The Alpha Trion/"Young Warrior" Challenge|6]] [[Alpha Trion/"Young" warrior challenge explained|7]] [[Z-Ring Fun Extra|8]] [[January 2017 Paid Video Requests|9]] [[November 2017 Paid Video Requests#Singing The Dream I Dreamed|10]] [[November 2017 Paid Video Requests#Singing Sorry (Not Sorry)|11]]
 [[The_Alpha_Trion/"Young_Warrior"_Challenge|1]]
Image:thepromoter.png|"The Promoter" [[Update_02/16/2016|1]]
Image:sonicrainboom.png|"The Sonic Rainboom" [[Jungle bells|1]] [[Holiday_Greetings_to_Karen_Riley|2]]
Image:thehappyhag.png|"The Happy Hag" [[Update_01/12/2016|1]] [[Apologies_for_offending_people|2]] [[Doxing_Jeff/Francine|3]] [[Eid,_Pmurt,_Eid|4]] [[Embargo_Update_12/2/2015|5]] [[HELP,_PLEASE!!!|7]] [[GameStop_is_UNFAIR_to_Everyone;_Not_Just_Me!|6]] [[Happy_Birthday,_Martin.|8]] [[Happy_Pokémon_Day.|9]] [[HelloLadyFans|10]] [[I%27m_sick;_we_need_money_donations;_no_video_requests_for_a_while|11]] [[I_Am_me;_He_is_not|12]] [[Jeff_is_Beyond_Denounced.|13]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|14]] [[Lesbian_Sleepover_Party_Announcement.|15]] [[Reading:_"A_Girl_Who_Brought_Down_the_World",_"And_Apparently_Survived_a_Housefire"|16]] [[September_2016_Paid_Video_Requests|17]] [[Thank_You_from_Christine_Chandler|18]] [[Twelve_New_and_Old_Things_of_Christmas|19]] [[Update,_1/22/2016,_and_new_items_for_Cwcville_Shopping.|20]] [[Update_01/12/2016|21]] [[Update_1/25/2016|22]] [[Yes,_it_still_has_been_I,_Christine_Weston_Chandler,_who_has_been_uploading_the_videos_personally.|23]]
Image:thedealmaker.png|"The Deal Maker" [[Proposition_to_Sega|1]] [[Announcement_04/16/2016|2]]
Image:bubblegumnightmare.png|"The Bubblegum Nightmare" [[Live_Game_Stream_-_C-Log_050032017-2|1]] [[Chris's Last Will and Testament|2]] [[Chris talking about the Binding of Isaac|3]]
Image:toothpastetube.png|"The Toothpaste Tube" [[CLog_07142017_-_Rainbow_Colouring|1]]
Image:ManchesterSweaterFixed.png|"The Manly Chester" [[I Love You, Catherine|1]] [[26_December_2014#Video|2]]
Image:Bigbaggyblue.png|"The Big Baggy Blue" [[CLog_07072017|1]] [[I need some local C64 Tech Help, Please|2]] [[Post-jail_sightings_(2023)#Battlegrounds|3]]
Image:MANCHILDMELTDOWN.png|"[[Breathe It In|The Manchild Meltdown]]" [[I_Am_Sick_of_the_HATE!!!_(I_could_use_a_break)|1]] [[Apologies to the liked Bronies and Pegasisters; PLEASE UNBLOCK ME ON TWITTER!|2]] [[Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video|3]] [[We Need some gas money, Please, Help.|4]] [[April 2019 videos#@MintendoMerd|5]] [[April 2019 videos#Also, Happy Birthday to MKR!|6]] [[April 2019 videos#Bonus! LACK OF Glitter Bombing. 🔥Epic Burn!🔥|7]] [[Pappy Van Poodle Interview|8]] [[Pewdiepie Does Not Live Here; He Lives In Sweden|9]] [[Believe in the OCs and Deities!|10]] [[General BronyCon Announcement.|11]] [[First recorded statement of Magi-Chan Sonichu - August 15, 2019|12]] [[Chris Chan Sonichu plays Twilight Sparkle’s Secret Shipfic Folder, Solitaire|13]] [[Xleepy|14]] [[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams#Reaction Video: Red Vs Blue Part 1|15]] [[Red vs Blue Reaction Livestreams#TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 2 Reaction Video|16]] [[Goochland Library Sermon|17]] [[Sonichu Reaction TF2 Analysis Anarchy Red Vs Blue Part 6|18]] [[Cover song: “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by Velvet Underground|19]] [[Birthday Greetings to Devin|20]] [[Paid Shout Out to Lifeguard Hermit|21]] [[Chris Chan's shoutout to JoSona6|22]] [[Praetor|23]]
Image:Chrisshirt classic20.png|"The Classic 2.0" [[Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes|1]] [[Dimensional Merge Announcements|2]] [[December 2018 Paid Video Requests|3]] [[Chris Kisses Rosechu|4]] [[Etsy Comments Review|5]]
Image:Gopnik.png|"The Tri Poloski" [[A Lifted Dance|1]] [[April 2018 Paid Video Requests|2]] [[C-Log 01312018 - Selling my Older Pokémon Cards for my mother’s teeth|3]] [[Cherokean Chant|4]] [[Get Out, You D*** Nazis|5]] [[January 2018 Paid Video Requests|6]] [[More of Cole’s Things for Sale|7]] [[One-Hundred|8]] [[Our signatures|9]]
File:Chris's negligee.png|"The Lavender Lingerie" [[:File:July11PaidArtwork.jpg|1]] [[:File:CWCWithFanJun27.png|2]] [[:File:CWCWithFanJun27_2.png|3]]
File:The Classic 3 trimmed.png|"The Ruckersville [[Affair with Mother|Mother Fucker]]" [[:File:2021 Chris Chan mugshot 2.jpg|1]] [[:File:Cwcjailphotomay3.jpg|2]] [[:File:Chris mugshot 27 March 2023.png|3]]
Image:Newagefunk.png|"The New Age Funk" [[:File:CWC sighting 5-27-23.png|1]]
Image:Thetracker .png |"The Tracker" [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Walmart (November)|1]] [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Greene County Sheriff's Office|2]] [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#UPS Store|3]] [[Toys for Tots|4]]
Image:ClassicReplica.png | "The Classic 3.0" [[Post-jail sightings (2023)#Isabella's Italian Trattoria Restaurant|1]] [[The Chris Chan Interview|2]]
Image:Christshirt Classic40.png | "The Classic 4.0" [[Chaos Crystal Control|1]] [[March 2025 livestreams|2]] [[May 2025 livestreams|3]] [[Breaking the Veil|4]] [[JCWCSP Sings So Need a Cute Girl, 2025|5]] [[January 2026 livestreams|6]] [[Comm adore https://youtu.be/SANRCUj9Ncg?si=mCBPcSVVFXfIeHfW|7]] [[Reading Chaos Crystal Control|8]] [[Cameo|9]]

</gallery>
</center>

===Pants/Skirts===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Chris's funky sweats.png|"The Southwestern Sweats"
File:Chris's White Music Note Skirt.png|"The Vinyl Scratch"
</gallery>
</center>

===Accessories===
<center>
<gallery>
File:Unicorn horn and ears.png|"The Unicorn Cosplay"
File:Crystal and Gem necklace.png | "The Crystal and Gem Necklace"
File:Fingerless gloves.png | "The Brony Bruisers"
</gallery>
</center>

==Other aspects of his Fashion sense==
===Custom-painted shoes===
[[File:Painted shoes finished.jpg|thumb|250px|Spray-painted in Sonichu's colors.]]
[[File:SoniShoes.jpg|thumb| In [[May 2020]] after being sold to [[Jacob Sockness]]]]
Chris wears shoes that he sloppily spray-paints blue and yellow. He demonstrated his technique in [[Shoe Colouring]]. They would later be sold to [[Jacob Sockness]] on 12 March 2019.

{{clear}}

===Wrist warmer===
[[Image:Wrist Warmer.jpg|thumb|Wrist warmer]]

{{quote|Yes, it is a part of my necklace; it's a "[[Wikipedia:Wilson Sporting Goods|Wilson]]" wrist-warmer I use to cover the discomfort of the number of Links back there.|Chris<ref>Email from Chris posted in old [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|PVCC]] thread 162</ref>{{PublicSource}}}}

Chris likely wears this article to counter [[Wikipedia:Sensory defensiveness|sensory defensiveness]], a condition common among autistics, in which a normally harmless sensation directly triggers a fight-or-flight reaction.

===Fanny pack===
[[File:0419-ChristianIs17-14.jpg|thumb|200px]]
A fanny pack (known as a "bum bag" in the British Commonwealth) is a small fabric pouch secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist. Fanny packs reached the peak of their popularity in the late 1980s and early-to-mid 1990s, and were considered to be a fashion faux pas until the late 2010s.<ref>http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/once-reviled-fanny-packs-get-a-high-fashion-makeover-and-an-even-higher-pricetag-2452640#photoViewer=1</ref> Naturally, Chris wore them throughout the 1990s and 2000s.

[[File:ChrisLibertyUFeb24.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2024 wearing trans flag patterned socks, anime leggings, denim shorts, [[medallion]] and blue [[hair]].]]

<gallery><center>
Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|Chris and [[Virginia Jeanine Sanford|Mrs. Sanford]].
Image:0565-CWCKellieGrads.jpg|Chris with [[Kellie Andes]]. Chris would have, for the first time in his life, looked like he dressed sharp if it wasn't for the fanny pack. Note the award that Kellie is holding.
</gallery></center>

===Cosplaying===
{{main|Cosplaying}}
{{clear}}

==Fan video ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Ms. Christine Weston Chandler - Drip Like Me

| ytid = e-psVU7l2S8}}
== Sources ==
<references />

{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]

{{Articleofthenow}}

Chris and drugs

2026-04-17T17:56:28Z

MarcelDubois: General corrections

{{Needs Updating|[[February 2026 social media posts#Admitting to random sins to prop up Redemption Arc narrative]]|[[The Place chats (October 2019)#Healing power]]}}

{{Protip|Commentary on possible side effects from any medication or recreational drug (cognitive, sexual, or otherwise) is purely speculative, based on commonly reported, listed, and/or studied side effects. Some side effects may either not happen to you/Chris, or be a small price to pay for better health or behavior. Do not discontinue any medication because of something said on this site.}}

{{quote|The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.|[[Song of Christian]]}}

A '''drug''' is any substance, other than food, that changes an [[Chris|organism]]'s physiology or psychology when consumed.

Much like [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|shoving things up his ass]], recreational drugs were something that Chris used to preach against, until he eventually tried alcohol and discovered he loved the somewhat pleasant effect. As of 2021, Chris has consumed caffeine, cannabis, and alcohol. He has yet to smoke a cigarette or try any hard drugs such as cocaine. Chris has also been on a litany of prescription and over-the-counter drugs to treat his various ailments.

==Psychiatric medication==
According to the 2004 psychiatric survey, at some point in his life, Chris was prescribed the antidepressant medication [[Wikipedia:Imipramine|Imipramine]]. It's not clear when he was prescribed the drug, or for what exact reason, but it was likely sometime in his younger days. Since the advent of more sophisticated antidepressant drugs like [[Wikipedia:Prozac|Prozac]] in the late [[1980s]], the use of Imipramine to treat depression and other psychological disorders has grown less common, though this medication is also commonly prescribed for bedwetting.

The same document notes that, as of 2004, Chris had been taking the antidepressant [[Wikipedia:Paxil|Paxil]] for four years in order to deal with his stress and anger issues. One of the survey's recommendations was an increase in his daily dose of the drug, but it's not clear how long Chris continued taking it afterward. In [[Mailbag 13#Take Your Prescribed Medicine, Young Man|Mailbag #13]], he explained that he had switched to a different medication in order to avoid some of Paxil's side effects, the ones that "only hit adults." However, in his 11th call with [[Kacey]], Chris said that the drug he switched to from Paxil is Paroxetine.<ref>[[Kacey Call 11]]</ref> Since Paxil is just one of Paroxetine's several trade names and not a different drug, Chris was still taking the same medication, and any improvement was the result of either a lower dose or a placebo.

Chris didn't specify what side effects Paxil caused him, but his language suggests some sort of sexual dysfunction. Paxil may have been making it difficult for Chris to [[mass debating|achieve orgasm]]; SSRIs in general have the effect of weakening the libido, though this is not universal. Still, it might explain why it took him around 20 minutes in order to climax when he cybered with [[Julie]].<ref>For examples see the full transcript of [[Bob Walks In]] and [[CWC Cums for a Cat]].</ref>

Studies differ on whether Paxil causes long-term cognitive impairment, confusion, and memory loss, with some suggesting a positive effect, and others suggesting that its ''anticholinergic'' nature makes it worse than other SSRIs, arguably contributing to dementia by blocking a key neurotransmitter (acetylcholine). Other anticholinergic drugs include Benadryl and Cogentin. Many patients anecdotally report a loss of autobiographical memory or concentration, and impaired judgement (to the point where some patients have slowed reaction time when driving) is a very common side effect as well.

Another of Paxil's more notable side effects is the potential for [[Obesity|substantial weight gain]], which couldn't have mixed well with Chris's [[McDonald's|diet]] and [[biological clock|sedentary lifestyle]].

At some point in the late 2010s, Chris stopped Paroxetine and started Fluoxetine (Prozac), which has weaker anticholinergic effects, considered insignificant. Still, PSSD (post-SSRI sexual dysfunction) is a relatively common side effect, as is impaired judgment and cognitive impairment in some patients. (Brain fog isn't universal on these meds, though.) Chris brought up his new meds role-playing as Magi-Chan, speaking in the third person, while also saying that Barb suggested the switch.<ref>[[The Place chats - Jacob Sockness#Defending Sockness, stress, and CALM supplements]]</ref>

In [[November 2025]], Chris claimed to have "stopped taking fluoxetine about a year ago".<ref>[[November_2025_social_media_posts#Thought_piece]]</ref> He also blamed his SSRI meds for a lack of focus emotionally and suggested others trash their SSRI meds. He also claimed to have first been prescribed the medication at age 7 for anxiety.<ref>[[November 2025 social media posts#NoToPaxil]]</ref>

Chris has also mentioned taking the prescription drug propranolol (Inderal), which is commonly prescribed for high blood pressure, anxiety, and (more controversially) at higher doses to intentionally weaken the memories of people with PTSD. However, Inderal can also improve focus and concentration in some people. It is unknown whether he is still taking it, or why he was prescribed it.<ref name=placesept>[[The Place chats (September_2020)#Blood Pressure Spikes]]</ref>

It is unknown whether Chris is still taking any psych meds at all after stopping Prozac, whether he's still taking the Inderal, or whether at any point he has been prescribed ''antipsychotics.'' Some have suggested he was given antipsychotics, noting the stereotypical motion side effects, sedation, etc., and the fact that Chris mentioned that "too much serotonin" is a problem may hint at Chris taking a ''second-generation antipsychotic'' instead of Fluoxetine (SGA's notably block serotonin receptors. Risperidone blocks one variety of them permanently.) Despite the name, antipsychotics are prescribed for a variety of reasons besides psychosis, with some shrinks controversially using them for autism and mild cases of bipolar disorder.

==Prescriptions for other ailments==
{{Main|Chris and health}}

For the majority of his life, Chris has had cholesterol problems. To combat this, instead of eating healthier and getting exercise, Chris eats junk food and exercises ''very'' occasionally while taking Lipitor, a cholesterol-lowering drug. While Lipitor and similar drugs can have a positive effect in lowering the cholesterol levels of those taking them, if one doesn't change their lifestyle as well there will be little change in the cholesterol level. Chris, having taken Lipitor since at least [[August 2009]], has had some improvement with his cholesterol levels; he got a score of 140 mg/ml, which, while not low, is not high either. Since Chris is very unfit, it's likely that Lipitor seems to be doing a decent job.

It's worth noting that - as [[Kacey]] and [[Father Call|her dad]] pointed out - he started taking the drug in his twenties, when it and other statins are really meant for people above age 40, and are only recommended for younger patients when the risk of early cardiovascular disease is that high. Studies differ on whether the effect on myelination or synaptogenesis is relevant for humans at normal doses, or whether these medications impair memory, leave it alone, or possibly improve it.

In 2020, Chris brought up using a different statin, Pravastatin. He is also on Omeprazole (Prilosec), which has notable side effects including permanent damage to proton pumps in areas outside of the stomach, including the ones in neurons that generate electricity in the brain!!<ref name=placesept></ref>

Chris also takes a drug to combat high blood pressure, likely a blood thinner concerning his high-fat diet. It is known that Chris also takes antibiotics for UTIs.

==Hormone replacement therapy==
Ever since [[May 2015]], Chris has been taking various forms of [[wikipedia:Transgender hormone therapy|Hormone replacement therapy]], or HRT, to successfully [[Transgender|transition]].

===Oestrogel===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]

Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones.

Unfortunately, Chris did the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning]]</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (potentially disastrous for an [[Obesity|obese]] person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>[[August 2016 Facebook posts#House Cleaning]]</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but failed to connect the dots and think that it could be caused by taking overdoses of a black-market drug without a physician's approval.

While observers have noted that the medication wasn't officially intended for trans women, all HRT is in fact "off-label" for this purpose by FDA standards.

===Proper HRT===
At some point in Fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT. In his [[CopperCab|interview with CopperCab]], Chris mentions he takes the testosterone blocker spironolactone, which he nicknames "[[Spyro the Dragon]]", and estradiol to assist in transitioning.

Chris revealed in his [[March 2024]] [[March_2024_livestreams#Christ Chan Live Stream: YouTube Video Watching|Livestream]] that he has been taking "Estradiol" and "spironolactone" (Aldactone), for "years".<ref>[[March 2024 livestreams#Highlights]]</ref>

==Alcohol==
[[Image:Sonichurosey.png|thumb|Ever since getting married to [[Rosechu]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] finds that Reeb helps dull the pain.]]

===Background===
[[Image:Z100 0533.jpg|thumb|Finally Loosened up and flew to Long Island June 12, 2009. '''Keep It Responsible'''; ONLY One in a day, or 7 or less in all in a week. ''(Quote from [[CWCipedia]])'']]

Like many things in his life, Chris has drastically changed his feelings about intoxicating beverages over the years. Chris once described alcohol as a "slow-acting poison" in his [[FUTURE MESSAGE]] video. He also touched on the subject during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], where in line 309, he mentioned that he would not go to a singles bar because of it (and cigarettes). When asked about alcohol in [[Mumble 2|Mumble Chat 2]], he stated that it "causes [[Chris and health|liver dysfunction]] and likely [[Chris and anger|bar fights]] and [[6 June 2010|automobile accidents]]".

Chris delivered a particularly effusive tirade in one of his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]:

{{quote|ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING!|Chris, to Reggie, early in 2009.}}

===Discovery and use===
Despite his initial feelings about alcohol, a [[Chris and hypocrisy|hypocritical]] [[Chris's Big Night Out|video]] of Chris drinking a [[Long Island Iced Tea]] was uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 12 [[June 2009]], showing us signs that perhaps Chris is willing to throw all his principles out the window when the chance to impress a female arises. That type of cocktail isn't recommended for novice drinkers, due to having a rather strong amount of alcoholic ingredients like vodka, triple sec, rum, tequila, and gin. If he didn't choose to drink it based on it being referenced in ''[[The Simpsons]]'', it's possible Chris did so because [[Autism|he assumed, due to its name, that it was literally just iced tea]] with some alcohol mixed in.

Alcohol was mentioned briefly in a video shortly after, titled [[I'm Sorry, Dude]]. In this video, Chris makes an offer to treat Logan to drinks as opposed to his past offers of "coffee or soda" to those whom he wanted to get to know. Alcohol was briefly revisited on camera in [[Chris's Big Night Out II]], where Chris was seen drinking. Chris's first recorded video where he appeared visibly intoxicated was [[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]. Alcohol began a slow and steady progression into Chris's life; this was made obvious in an email to [[Regina]], where he said ''"I've also tasted Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budwiser [sic], Miller, Micolobe ''[Michelob]'', Samual Adams and a couple of others. And I look forward to sampling more varities of liqour."''

Budweiser is apparently his brand of choice, based on eyewitness reports from [[Fridays After Five]] and his account of a trip to a bar prior to visiting [[the GAMe PLACe]] on [[6 June 2010]]. Meanwhile, a [[100 2281|video]] from mid-[[October 2010]] showed Chris slugging Kahlúa straight from the bottle, although he didn't seem to enjoy it too much.

When a correspondent in [[Mailbag 6#Sonichu and drinking|Mailbag 6]] challenged him regarding his shift in attitude, Chris replied, "I discourage underage drinking fully; I wanted to try it once for myself."

In [[Mailbag 16#Alcoholism|Mailbag 16]], from [[December 2009]], he described his drinking habits in more detail, "I am more of a Social Drinker; I generally do NOT spend a weekly amount on drinks; I only drink at like a party or with a friend on rare occasions [sic]." This remark was met with some skepticism from [[trolls]], since Chris has no friends, much less any who would invite him to parties.

Even after discarding his original hard-line attitude, though, Chris still found opportunities to get a little preachy regarding the demon liquor. In [[Mailbag 33#Chris and the census|Mailbag 33]], from early [[January 2010]], he remarked, "And Alcohol; in Responsible, Moderate amounts, it can be good for you, yet I do not support Too Much of it, as if left unchecked, unresponsible or unassisted, too much can lead to fights that can lead to a trip to the hospital and automobile accidents." He also, in [[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag 5]], advanced the bizarre theory that drinking while pregnant "CAN PROVOKE [[homos]]exuality in the child."

In [[6 June 2010]], Chris revealed that he had been drinking at a bar before driving to the [[The GAMe PLACe]] and getting into a confrontation with a [[manajerks|manajerk]].

Alcohol may be contributing to Chris's declining health. Since his decision to leave the Internet and instead seek real-life interaction, Chris has revealed to us that he spent most of his day sitting in bars and playing on his Nintendo DSi. While he once claimed to be a "Social Drinker", it is becoming quite obvious that he is anything but. Chris's childlike perception of the world is most likely deafening his awareness of the substance's advancement of relevance in his life. At this point, he may be turning to alcohol for [[Chris and escapism|escapism]]. Also, alcoholism has been proven to be a telltale sign of {{w|Peter Pan syndrome}}, which clearly applies to Chris. In addition, Chris, being the [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-in-the-mind]] that he is, is alleged to add raw sugar to his beer on a regular basis. Not only is this unnecessary but it may lead to [[Obesity|further]] [[Chris and death|problems]] in the near future.

It is obvious that with Chris's current loneliness and depression, his alcohol use may yield repercussions in his life - and it did. In [[July 2016]], Chris, while thought to have been drunk and depressed over lack of progress on his gender transition, [[Un-clit 2.0|sliced open his taint with a knife]] to simulate the opening of a vagina.

Alcohol made another appearance in the [[Cherokean Chant]] performance, in which Chris states he had five swigs of vodka.

The [[Teen Troon Squad]], aged 18/19, tried to get Chris to buy them Reeb in 2018.

In 2021, [[enabler]] [[KwaiiSandbag]] revealed that Chris had told him in messages that he would drink heavily once every few weeks.<ref>[[KwaiiSandbag calls#Chris's Drinking and Smoking Habits]]</ref> Even with known accounts of Chris's past alcohol use, this news was surprising and concerning.

The [[Jail Letter Gifts|Holy Labels]] which Chris has been sending to fans from [[jail]] are expressly intended to be used for drinking non-alcoholic beverages. This is a strange inversion of the Christian rite of [[wikipedia:Eucharist|Holy Communion]], which most Christian denominations celebrate using wine (although some Protestant denominations use non-alcoholic grape juice).

===Chandler family and alcohol===

It is interesting to note that [[Cole Smithey]] mentions that [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|met at a bar and acted like a couple of drunken losers]]. The Chandlers' pre-[[fire]] family room had memorabilia from various brewing companies including [[wikipedia:P. Ballantine and Sons Brewing Company|Ballantine]] and [[wikipedia:Bass Brewery|Bass]], indicating that Chris's parents never shared his initial antipathy to alcohol even in their old age.<ref>[[:File:0012-BobbyReading.jpg]]</ref>

Chris's family line has a history with alcohol. Chris's maternal great-grandfather, Robert Pettis Wynn, "drank heavily and had a [[sweetheart|girlfriend]] during the time he was married. Family stories say [[Father Call|he failed to provide even the most basic support for his wife and children]] ...there are others who say he was a moonshiner."<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20091212074813/http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html</ref>

===In the comic===
[[Image:RealReeb.jpg|thumb|The official drink of [[Kick the Autistic]].]]
[[Image:4centgarbagereeb.jpg|thumb|left|A worker at [[4-cent_garbage.com]] downing a relaxing can of Reeb.]]

In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', Chris refers to beer in all instances as "Reeb" which is just "Beer" spelled backwards. He probably thought this little emordnilap very clever.

At first glance, this seems odd, until you realize Chris was under the impression that Sonichu was targeted towards children (despite the graphic sex scene in issue 8, and frequent depictions of violent death), and so, he feels he must censor any mention of alcohol in the comic. This is a common theme in English-translated [[anime]] shows such as ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'' and ''[[Pokémon]]'', particularly those aimed at a younger audience.

Possessing or drinking alcohol was also one of the worst crimes to commit in [[CWCville]], and could have led to a $1,500 fine or ten years in prison<ref>[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]</ref> (the fact that Chris thinks that ten years in prison and a $1,500 fine are interchangeable is indicative of his broader attitude towards [[Chris and money|money]]). It is also interesting to note that this punishment is much more lenient than the CWCville penalty for [[homos|homosexuality]].<ref>[[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|Mailbag 31]]</ref> And you thought Chris was intolerant.

Chris later said in his [[Rollin' and Trollin']] video that the prohibition had since been repealed.

"Reeb" is the drink of choice for the drunkards working at [[4-cent_garbage.com]]. It should also be noted that there really is a drink called Reeb; it's a Chinese beer produced in Shanghai, though it's doubtful that Chris knew about it.
{{clear}}

==Tobacco==
[[File:100 0695.JPG|thumb|"NO SMOKING" and "[[Love Quest|WANT WOMAN!]]", two of Chris's [[Cherokee|war cries]].]]
[[File:465-CWCsStarCoilPot.JPG|thumb|Authentic CWC ashtray, perfect for launching at the Moon.]]
{{Quote|And smoking will eventually cause cancer, and it will—you'll be more likely to get [[Obesity|heart attacks]], [[14 Branchland Court|viruses]], and your life will be cut drastically short. They don't call cigarettes and cigars "[[Star Wars|death sticks]]" for nothing, other than killing you slowly. If I could, I would take every last ounce of tobacky, put 'em on a rocket, and shoot 'em up to [[the Moon]].|[[Chris]]<ref>[[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]]</ref>}}

'''Tobacco''', called '''tobacky''' by Chris, is a recreational drug derived from ''Nicotiana'' plants. If Chris could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to [[the Moon]].

One of the prerequisites for a [[sweetheart]] that Chris has never veered from is that she be "smoke-free".<ref>[[OkCupid]]</ref><ref>[[Dating profiles]]</ref><ref>[[Sonichu Girls]]</ref><ref>[[CWC's Diary]]</ref>

Given his flip-flopping regarding his hatred of [[alcohol]], it is uncertain whether Chris has ever smoked, although he did pretend to smoke a "peace pipe" for [[Jackie]].<ref>[[Wigwam]]</ref>

===Chris on tobacky===
[[Image:CastleWily.png‎|thumb|The Tobacky Factory from Chris's nightmares.]]

In his famous [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|FUTURE MESSAGE]] of 24 February [[2007]], Chris expressed his wish for all tobacky to be shot to the Moon.

In an [[ED]] edit from 10 November [[2007]] regarding a comment about [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], Chris said he was uncomfortable saying the word "tobacco".<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</ref>

Chris's tobacky rocket plan was elaborated on in [[January 2009]]:
{{quote|I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then [[Honor roll|the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well]].|Chris<ref>[[IRC (02 January 2009)]]</ref>}}

Chris has also related a [[dreams|dream]] he once had regarding the risks posed by tobacco consumption:
{{Quote|I was in a factory and I watched PEOPLE lying on a conveyor belt with their mouths full of cigarettes, [[Nazis|going through BURNING OVENS]], coming out singed (not ON FIRE), then dunked into a huge tank of Alcohol that DISSOLVED THEM to DUST like ACID would do, and their remains would come out of the factory's smokestacks in puffs of smoke and ashes. And another detail, the Front of the factory is SKULL-SHAPED.|Chris's cigarette nightmare<ref>[[Mailbag 39]]</ref>}}

Chris has stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in [[CWCville]] and warrants "ten years [imprisonment] or fifteen hundred dollar fine".<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008]]</ref> In short, importing cigarettes is worse than [[rape]], [[Sonichu (character)|theft]], [[Death threats|murder]], or even being a [[homos|homo]] in [[CWCville]].

Ironically, one of Chris's own ancestors was a tobacco farmer, according to his death certificate.<ref>https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238604751/robert-pettis-wynn</ref>

==Cannabis==
[[File:PsychadelicChris.jpg|thumb|This is your mind on Cannabis.]]
Chris seemed to have an even stronger hatred for [[Wikipedia:Cannabis (drug)|cannabis]] (marijuana, pot, weed, etc.), despite it being hailed as a possible [[autism]] treatment.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20100504115332/http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-treatment-marijuana-madness-8763721</ref> This is evidenced by the fact that, in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a US$1,500 fine, but those who simply possess weed are taken to a maximum security prison, the same place CWCville detains [[Mary Lee Walsh|terrorist leaders]], as was the fate of [[Kathleen]] in the [[Book10Replacement]].

Interestingly, the Jamaican war veteran [[Inos]] from the original [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] somehow managed to escape this sentence, instead being forced into a soup hotel by [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Dialogue indicates it was because Sonichu believed he was actually smoking tobacco, despite him being high as a kite, unintentionally revealing that Chris may believe tobacco and cannabis to be interchangeable. The fact that "wacky '''tobacky'''" was used as a name for cannabis back in the [[Bob Chandler|1940s and 50s]] further adds weight to this theory.

In true [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris hypocritical fashion]], it was revealed by [[Kim]] on [[Facebook]] that in [[July_2016_Facebook_posts#.22I.27m_not_on_drugs.21.22|July 2016]] Chris had tried smoking cannabis at [[OmegaCon]], and he was offered it at [[Impulse Gay Social Club|Impulse]] as well.

Chris confirmed that he did try weed a couple of times in a [[Twitter]] comment.

{{quote|Thanks; not totally my thing, that kind of high. The couple of times aside.|Chris.<ref>[[January 2018 tweets#Much love for MAGfest fans]]</ref>}}

Under the influence of the [[Idea Guy]], Chris changed Sonichu's official birthday to 20 April, or "4/20", often celebrated as a stoner holiday. However, given the Idea Guy's [[Idea Guy#Nazi CWCville|apparent]] [[Smashing|obsession with]] [[Nazis]] and other offensive topics, this could also be a reference to the birthday of Adolf Hitler, or the date of the 1999 {{w|Columbine High School massacre}}.

In [[2018]], Chris smoked pot with the [[Teen Troon Squad]], hanging out at their house to partake.

[[Virginia]] legalized weed at the state level in [[July 2021]], making it the first Southern state to do so. However, Chris spent the month hooked on a [[Affair with Mother|different vice]] which is still very much [[Jail Saga|illegal]].

==Caffeine==
Being an avid Coca-Cola drinker (as proven by the many [[My Coke Rewards]] points he earned), Chris is no stranger to caffeine consumption (though he curiously denied using caffeine in the [[autism papers]]). His heavy soda consumption is likely to blame for his distorted [[biological clock|sleep patterns]], something Chris himself has corroborated:

{{quote|YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking [[biological clock]] as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty.|Chris.<ref>[[List of Chris's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica]], 11 November 2007</ref>}}

Notably, the [[2014 house fire]] started after Chris tried to brew coffee in the bathroom early in the morning, causing a frayed extension cord to spark and set the house on fire.

==References==
<references />

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Things Chris once hated but now likes]]

Mumble 6

2026-03-20T01:50:24Z

MarcelDubois: /* The Molvanîan Language, et al. */ yes yes my friend

'''Mumble 6''' is the sixth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 10 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''1:57:53'''

== Summary ==

* Chris has received a letter from [[Nintendo]] of America stating that he hasn't been in touch with [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru]] [[Miyamoto Saga|Miyamoto]]. The trolls try to convince him that the letter is fake.
* Chris gives more advice on whether Falsion's friend is a [[homo]] by suggesting he'll be drawn to posters of men more than those of women in the fan's bedroom.
* [[Julie]] probes Chris on why he dislikes [[homos]] so much. Chris flounders.
* Chris first made his [[medallion]] because he wanted to, before he ever drew any [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and wears it all the time because it's like a nametag. Might make one for Julie.
* Someone hacked [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichugirls.net]]. Julie is outraged.
* Chris doesn't hate all men, just the ones who are [[jerks]], which is the "majority of the male population." When called on it, admits he doesn't know how he knows that men are jerks without knowing them.
* Chris doesn't remember saying that [[hermaphrodite|transgender people]] should have surgery. Now says that they shouldn't. Confuses "[[Wikipedia:transgender|transgender]]" with "[[Wikipedia:intersex|intersex]]" and says that if he had a child with both organs he would raise it as a boy.
* If Chris was dating a girl and she turned out to have a [[pickle|penis]], he would freak out, throw up and dump her.
* [[Sonic]] replaced [[American Rabbit]] as Chris's favorite cartoon character.
* Chris's favorite soap opera is [[Wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|''The Young and the Restless'']]. He used to watch MTV's [[Wikipedia:Undressed|''Undressed'']].
* Chris feels as if his life is a soap opera, as he's had a lot of drama.
* Chris hasn't decided if there will be a Chris Chandler show. Everyone says it's a great idea.
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic 3D|''Sonic 3D'']] is Chris's favorite Sonic game.
* ''The Chris Chandler Show'' would be improvised with no commercial breaks. When [[Jack Thaddeus]] calls him on the show needing to make money, Chris says that he doesn't know how to make commercials.
* Chris never received the [[Wikipedia:Jet (magazine)|''Jet'']], [[Wikipedia:Ebony (magazine)|''Ebony'']] and [[Wikipedia:Vibe (magazine)|''Vibe'']] magazines that a troll called hottiee96 subscribed him to.
* Chris says he's irregular with comics because "It's called a life".
* [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty]] asks what Chris does, considering he has no job. Chris stalls, before saying that he can't describe his daily schedule on a whim at the moment and had better not say. He blames [[stress]].
* Chris says that he gets stressed and needs a day to recover. Fans point out the contradiction of drawing comics to relax and using stress as an excuse not to draw them. Chris says that he feels uncomfortable with the questions.
* Chris does [[Sonichu]]'s voice. It sounds like Chris, only slightly higher. Fans praise this fantastic rendition.
* Chris says that he would want [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] to publish Sonichu.
* There will be no lesbian relationships in Chris's comics, as he promotes heterosexuality.
* Chris obnoxiously cuts off a fan who asks about [[Nintendo]] and [[copyright]], saying "I don't know, I don't know, I'm not a business genius."
* They talk about anime and video games. Chris doesn't like the nudity in [[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Crayon Shin-chan'']] because dicks 'offend' him.
* Says that him drawing ''Sonichu'' with his [[duck]] out [[Chris and Hypocrisy|was different because he was wearing a condom]].
* Chris confirms that he ripped off the workings of Sonichu's penis from a line from Brian in ''[[Family Guy]]''.
* Chris does not like poo in a fetishistic sense.
* Chris can't remember why he mentioned his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] to Clyde.
* Chris is still trying to upload the Nintendo of America letter.
* The adult scenes in Sonichu are not "lost content", they are "removable deleted scenes" and the comic can be read with or without them. This is how he designed it.
* Chris will not undergo speech therapy because he had it when he was a child.
* Chris does a terrible high-pitched impersonation of someone with no front teeth.
* Chris cuts off a question about the [[PS3]] being the main console of the [[gay]] community, as he's bothered by it.
* CWCville's employment situation is discussed. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]'s job is protecting [[CWCville]] and everything is free for them.
* Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Spice Girls|Spice Girls]], but didn't have a favorite.
* CWCville was founded just by [[Bob]], shortly after Chris was born.
* Bob told Chris that Sonichu was viable as regards copyrighting. Chris has paid the [[Wikipedia:Library of Congress|Library of Congress]] $35 for copyright years ago and hasn't heard anything.
* Chris has uploaded the Nintendo of America letter. The fans deny that it's real and attempt to discredit it. Chris refuses to listen.
* Chris starts to leave, [[Clyde Cash]] enters. The HONEST and TRUE fans all decry this disgraceful human being.
* Clyde says that Julie is afraid of how her life with Chris will turn out, and that her parents will take her away. Chris protests that he's cleaned his room.
* Clyde says Chris needs to clean up his act to be with Julie, asks if he pays taxes. Chris says he's paid sales tax.
* Chris "pleads the fifth" when Clyde asks how much [[Money|credit card debt]] he has. When pressed, he admits to having almost $2,000 to offset his savings of $100.
* Chris says that if he decides he has to get a job when he and Julie are married, he will.
* Chris claims that he can cook "anything that's within his cookbook."
* Chris admits he was lying about looking for jobs he can do with his [[CADD]] degree, but he ''can'' start looking. Clyde calls him out on lying to Julie so much, and Chris whines about his "insultive tone."
* Julie says that she's read up on [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] and there's no premarital [[sex]]. Chris says that Methodists are allowed.
* Chris claims to cook for himself the majority of the week. Says he cooks a lot of things for himself. When pressed, he says vegetables, meats and soups, depending on shopping. His parents cook separately from him, as they live on a different floor.
* Chris says he will look for a job, depending on who's hiring. Will think about getting a job now.
* Chris's schedule currently varies from day to day, but he does a lot of creative things. Yesterday he cleaned his room.
* Julie says that drawing comics is currently Chris's job and he should work on it. Chris promises that he will.
* Chris says ''Ich bin schwul'' and leaves.
* [[BlueSpike]] and the others laugh about Chris admitting to being a [[homo]].

=== Transcript ===

==== Meet and Greet ====

[The various trolls greet Chris, talking over each other]

'''Julie:''' Heeey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Willkommen!

[sound of junk getting moved around]

'''Troll:''' Hello.

'''Troll:''' Morning!

'''Hamsty:''' Hey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Uhh- hello, Chris! What's up?

'''Troll:''' Hello! How're you doing?

'''Chris:''' [speaking in an effeminate voice] Hellloo...

'''Troll:''' Bonjour.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' So what are you up to tonight, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, nothing much, just uhh... takin' care of things.

'''Troll:''' Aww, that's good.

[Audio cuts out here for a moment. Presumably, the same thing happened in the chat.]

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Chris:''' [[BlueSpike|Julie]] bought me here. You asked for me to come and I so I did.

'''Troll:''' Did you... come for your fans at all?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah I came for my fans.

'''Troll:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Matter of fact I have an update...

'''Troll:''' Oooh?

'''Troll:''' Ohh awesome!

'''Chris:''' But... well unfortunately yeah, it was in a video but it didn't get, uhh, processed quickly enough... I've just had to start re-uploading it.

'''Troll:''' Yeeeah... [[YouTube]]'s really slow at that... depending on what you use. It's a'right.

'''Troll:''' It's like... they need to invest their money more in technology.

==== Chris receives a letter ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uhh, as I have already told Julie and [[Sarah May]], mm, I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Mr-

'''Chris:''' I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Nintendo of America's representative Mr. Mike Chandler- no relation- In response to what I have sent Nintendo of America previously. Anyway, it-it-it verifies my uh- families, my friends and uhh... my theory so that, uhh, and I quote, Mr [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]] did not have a meeting scheduled with you, nor has he be- has he been corresponding with you. Mr Miyamoto speaks and writes only-

'''Troll:''' [Talking over Chris] I'll be right back.

'''Chris:''' [very annoyed] -very limited English...! ...and our game development teams do not accept unsolicited game suggestions or other ideas. Although Mr Miyamoto made occasional business trips to the U.S., he spends the majority of his time in Japan at Nintendo's headquarters. So, in short I've- I've actually been talking to... impostors.

[The trolls begin talking over each other at this point]

'''Troll:''' Well, you don't know if he's an impostor or not, I mean, I mean,

'''Troll:''' Oooooh...

'''Troll:''' You know...

'''Troll:''' I mean, look at that, it had your last name- it didn't really sound legit...

'''Troll:''' Hold on, guys hold on, hold on. Just lemme...

[''Brief silence'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it could have been intercepted by a troll because he did say that Mr. Miyamoto doesn't speak- speaks limited Jap- I mean, limited English, but... I've seen YouTube videos of him speaking a lot... urn... in English... and... I don't- I think that's a lie- that guy obviously doesn't know anything about Miyamoto.

'''Troll:''' You know, I- I've heard about stuff like this happening, you know, one of my cousins is in the business industry and he says with a lot of these big companies they get mix- things mixed up all the time. Maybe they were sending it to like- maybe they thought you were someone else, or they sent it to somebody who had the wrong address, you know, they can screw stuff up an awful lot.

'''Chris:''' Well anyways, it's an official letter from Nintendo of America, because uhh... the envelope, is-is-is-is just like the previous envelopes I've gotten from Nintendo of America, as well as the uh... letter head on the... letter. It's typed.

[The trolls talk over each other here. The general drift is: "It's easy to forge..."]

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] It was typed.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, it's easy to forge.

'''Chris:''' [''still annoyed''] It was typed.

[Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' [''yep, still annoyed''] [[autism|It was typed]].

[More Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' And-and-and it has a signature on there.

'''Troll:''' Just because it's typed and it has a signature on there doesn't mean it's real.

'''Troll:''' In fact, wouldn't typing it make it more easier to forge since it's not handwriting?

'''Troll:''' And a signature doesn't mean anything, I mean, you nev- I mean you don't know this guy and so... it's just somebody's signature.

'''Chris:''' Look, I'll tell y'all- look, I'll tell y'all what, I'll scan the envelope AND the letter and put it on the [[CWCipedia|Sonichu site]] [annoyed] LATER [pause; the trolls talk all at once] and y'all- and y'all- can fig- and y'all decide for yourselves from that.

'''Troll:''' We're tryin' to help you, Chris. We're trying to help you and do what's best for you...

'''Troll:''' We're trying to make sure nobody's trying to trick you.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' We're here to back you up.

[''silence'']

==== Games, etc. ====

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I can always play it on my [[PS3]], or my Nintendo Wii when I ever get one...

'''Troll:''' Never [[Hex Bawx]].

'''Julie:''' I hate the Hex Bawx.

'''Troll:''' I'm a PC player myself.

[''The trolls talk all at once for about ten seconds'']

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get the scanner and make it ready to scan.

[some trolls mutter back and forth, mostly silence]

[''long pause'']

'''Troll:''' ... [whisper] [[pickle|cocks]]!

[The trolls laugh; sound of things moving around and other noise in the background]

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something, Chris?

'''Various Trolls:''' He's uh, scanning. He's scanning things.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just got back with it and I'm... scanning it.

==== The Molvanîan Language, et al. ====

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris?

'''Troll:''' Excellent...!

'''Chris:''' Yeah Julie? [''Chris sounds uninterested'']

'''Julie:''' Can you do me a favor?

'''Chris:''' Sure, what?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell everyone what I taught you today- the new, uhh, [[Molvanîa]]n word?

'''Chris:''' Oooh- ooh. Yeah. Julie uhh... Julie is from Molvanîa... its uh neigh- its uh-it neighbors- it neighbors five countries such as [[Wikipedia:Germany|Germany]] and [[Wikipedia:Slovakia|Slovakia]]. [''pause''] Anyway, uhh, she taught me how to say "I love you" in Molvanîa.

[''A troll screams in entirely understandable horror, possibly comprehending what will occur next...'']

'''Chris:''' [[Homos|''Ich- Ich baan schwill'']]. [sic]

[Julie says something in the background, something about 'a'right now, okay, keep going']

'''Chris:''' Yeah I just pretty much said it. Ich baan schwill. [sic]

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right. I love you too!

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Troll:''' You have a gift for languages, Chris.

'''Troll:''' Really!

'''Troll:''' I can see why you pick up [[Spanish]].

'''Troll:''' First Spanish, and now Molvanîan. You're moving on up!

'''Chris:''' Well, right now basically I just have like a few... greetings. And the 'I love you' there.

'''Troll:''' Before you know it you might be speaking Japanese with Mr Miyamoto.

[''Chris seems to forget that, just minutes ago, he had decided that [[Miyamoto]] was an impostor and doesn't mention it.'']

'''Hamsty:''' Or French? [''she speaks a little French, but Chris just talks over the top of her'']

'''Chris:''' Well, uhh, I know a little bit of Japanese. Like... こんにちは (''konnichiwa''). [''awkward pause''] And さよなら (''sayonara'').

'''Hamsty:''' Do you know any French words?

[''More Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh... oui oui mon ami.

'''Hamsty:''' Ahh... mmm. I see.

'''Chris:''' ''Omelet du fromage.''

'''Hamsty:''' [forced giggle] That's uh, that's that's... very nice. Merci! Merci beaucoup... [''another giggle'']

'''Chris:''' Merci!

'''Hamsty:''' That means 'thank you'!

'''Chris:''' I know.

'''Hamsty:''' Okay, just making sure! [''another 'please don't [[rape]] me' giggle is squeezed out'']

==== Idle Chatter ====

'''Julie:''' So, uh, Chris. How are things?

'''Chris:''' Things are, uh well at home.

'''Julie:''' Awesome!

'''Chris:''' I'm safe and well, and I'm looking forward to you arriving, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Hmm!

[awkward silence]

'''Troll:''' Uhh, what happened last time? You were interrupted by... something.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?
'Member last time you came? I don't know what happened, but you had to sign off for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member that, that was like a long time ago... that was pretty much a long time ago at this point.

'''Troll:''' Uhh, never mind.

'''Troll:''' Yeah...

'''Troll:''' I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. [''snort'']

'''Hamsty:''' [''giggle'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it happens, it happens. Sometimes you can remember things from birth... and like, from, childhood years... and sometimes you can't remember things from last week!

'''Troll:''' [[Stress]] does influence memory, so it's understandable.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... I suffer from that... occasionally.

[''awkward pause'']

==== Movies ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, seen any good movies recently?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... good movies, good movies... I saw [[Saw|''Saw V'']]?

'''Troll:''' And how was that?

'''Julie:''' Oooh, and what did you think of it?

'''Chris:''' I thought it was- I thought it was neat and very interesting... I mean I saw the previous four... which I have on DVD. But I got ''Saw V'' on Blu-ray.

'''Troll:''' Sounds pretty crazy. Was it scary?

[''awkward pause'']

'''Troll:''' Were the special effects realistic enough to make it seem... scary... enough?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Troll:''' [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|It didn't have enough traps!]] That was my complaint.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean uh, I think uh, I think the scariest thing from that movie would be after that- after that guy removed his arm from the- from the saw, and it was like split down to the elbow. But you know-

'''Troll:''' I remember that.

'''Troll:''' Oh, wow!

'''Chris:''' But then- but then you realize from the behind the scenes footage that that actually was just a fake arm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, well, they wouldn't do that in real life because they would have to, like, pay a lot of people...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean, like, the special effects they use nowadays is pretty impressive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' The men were [[jerks]] in that movie, the saw vic- the jigsaw victims. I mean like they let that poor girl- uhh... that poor girl die at the beginning the trap...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like they could- it's like they didn't- it's like, it's like they didn't know at the time they could have gotten away with all five of them alive at the front line through the whole... setup. But uh, still, you know, I mean, the whole setup they had going there... the girl... the woman actually had her head going through a hole in the wall, while there was a whole fake, empty neck on top of it.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... yeah. I just can't believe how much the men were [[jerks]] in that movie. They weren't... especially...

'''Julie:''' Yeah. That movie made me kinda mad...

'''Troll:''' Sexist!

'''Troll:''' Do you think they'll make a sixth... Saw movie?

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and his ego|Chris speaks as though he were a great authority on the matter]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yeah, I think they'll make a ''Saw VI'', I mean- I figured they... you figured they gave the role of [[Wikipedia:Jigsaw Killer|Jigsaw]] over to [[Wikipedia:Mark Hoffman (Saw)|Detective Hoffman]], so he could probably do something in the next one. Plus, I'm still wondering, what was the fate of the uh... doctor. You remember from [[Wikipedia:Saw (film)|the first ''Saw'']], that uh, that actually cut off his foot?

'''Hamsty:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well, y-you find out that basically... you find out he's into crawling away. You find him doing that in Saw III. But yeah you don't see anything of him in ''Saw'' f-...four, except for that one time when they actually- they talk about that little piece of evidence that went against him in the first ''Saw''.

'''Hamsty:''' [coughs] Mmm. Excuse me.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... Uhh... I never really was into horror. What is it that, uh, makes horror movies so enjoyable?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I would say probably the, uh, story, and uh...

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris, can I ask a question?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite kind of movie?

'''Chris:''' Mmm- I mostly like, uh, romantic comedies.

'''Troll:''' Oh, those can be good. [''More Windows beeping'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they're fun. I've uh- I've uh- gone back to the [[wikipedia:List of Shuffle! episodes|Moonlight Confession episode]] of ''[[Shuffle!]]''. That's uh, that's episode 10.

'''Troll:''' I prefer animated movies myself, you know... Disney, Pixar...

'''Troll:''' So do I.

[''A soft, computer generated 'bong!' noise can be heard in the background'']

[''Hamsty gasps in the background'']

'''Troll:''' I just watched ''[[Wikipedia:Finding Nemo|Finding Nemo]]'' recently... just this weekend.

'''Chris:''' I liked ''Toy Story''.

'''Troll:''' That was a good one.

'''Troll:''' That is such a classic!

'''Troll:''' My friends and I quote that ALLL the time whenever we watch it.

'''Chris:''' To ef-fenity [sic] and beyond. [Chris gets the 'tone' of the catch-phrase completely, completely wrong; it sounds like some kind of [[Hello, Juffalo|deranged, toneless rap]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>

[''short, stunned silence'']

'''Troll:''' There's a snake in mah boot! I always liked that line.

'''Troll:''' I [inaudible] Oh, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, you were saying?

'''Troll:''' I was just saying, I have a toy [[pickle|Woody]], which when you pull the string he says "I have a snake in mah boots"...

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yep, those were sold in the toy stores.

'''Troll:''' I- I remember in like... one of my favorite type of movies is, um, martial arts.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I saw [[wikipedia:Kung Fu Panda|''Kung Fu Panda'']] like, recently... on Blu-ray.

[''Possible audio cut here?'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. Like, name- name a-a couple.

'''Chris:''' Oh I just uh- okay yeah, I can remember another one. Mmm. [[wikipedia:Hard Boiled|''Hard Boiled'']]. I got the collector's edition version of [[wikipedia:Stranglehold (video game)|''Stranglehold'']] PlayStation 3. That was...

'''Troll:''' Hey, ''Hard Boiled''? Wasn't that a [[Wikipedia:John Woo|John Woo]] movie with [[Wikipedia:Chow Yun-fat|Chow Yun-fat]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' And he's like, "Oh man, I love that one!" and he's- and he's got, and he has a gunfight in the hospital- that's a really good one.

'''Chris:''' And I saw [[wikipedia:Kill Bill|''Kill Bill''s volume I and II]].

'''Troll:''' Oh those are pretty impressive! [pause] Also, um. Have you ever heard about the new [[wikipedia:Dragonball Evolution|Dragonball movie]] that's about to come out... in two months?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. No, uh, ye- no- ye- no I haven't. But I have heard- but I have, uh watched a bunch of Dragonball episodes. Uhh... [[wikipedia:Dragonball#Anime series|Dragonball, Dragonball Z, 'n Dragonball GT]]... and I have seen some of the movies. Oh- a-and I have also seen the orig- the, uh, the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter (film)|''Street Fighter'' Movie]]... a long time ago.

'''Troll:''' Ooooh I remember that one.

'''Chris:''' And I'm also looking forward to the one where they... the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li|new ''Street Fighter'' movie]] that's coming out that's gonna be be [[Chris and English|surrounding]] [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

[''The trolls talk over each other at this point'']

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

'''Troll:''' Did you play [[wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|''Street Fighter IV''?]]

'''Troll:''' Ooh, Chun-Li was my favorite ''Street Fighter'' character... actually.

'''Chris:''' Me too.

[Julie and a troll talk over each other]

'''Julie:''' Oh wait-

'''Troll:''' -''reet Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Cuz Chris, I'm gonna get it and I wanna play against you...

'''Chris:''' What, ''Street Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah I was thinking about- yeah I-I was thinking about getting the collector's edition version... of that.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''The generic sound of junk being moved around in the background; a slight pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in ''Street Fighter'', like who do you use the most?

'''Chris:''' [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

'''Julie:''' I also use [[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan]].

'''Troll:''' I use [[wikipedia:Cammy|Cammy]].

'''Chris:''' In [[Soul Calibur]] I use [[wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. What a coincidence, I actually use [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]] a lot... um in um, ''Soul Calibur''.

'''Troll:''' I play [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cervantes|Cervantes]]. I like play Cervantes... a lot.

'''Chris:''' You don't saaaaaay. Hmm.

==== Broken Wii, More Games ====

'''Troll:''' Hey Chris, I've got a question.

'''Chris:''' [[Megatron Gun|Shoot]].

'''Troll:''' Uhh- two days ago my Wii broke and I have to send it in for repairs, and it's not gonna be back for like two weeks... what should—what do you think I should do to fill that time slot until I get it back?

'''Chris:''' Umm... do what you're normally doing right now- like as if uhh... you're living- I mean, you're pretty much living with that right now, just continue on with that... until uhh... you get it back.

'''Troll:''' Thanks Chris, that's great advice.

[''The troll is very sarcastic. Chris [[autism|doesn't notice.]]'']

'''Chris:''' Simple, really! Not [[tobacky|rocket]] scEYEnce[sic].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' You play any other [[CWCFighter|fighting games]]... or have any other fighting games?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just mentioned [[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur|''S-Soul Calibur'']], just the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']], [''inaudible'']... I-I also played [[Wikipedia:Tekken|''Tekken'']].

'''Troll:''' Anything else?

'''Troll:''' I played that.

'''Chris:''' And-and a little bit of [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat|''Mortal Kombat'']].

'''Troll:''' Oh. Have you ever played, uh. You had a [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]] before, right? Or do you still have one?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I still have my Dreamcast.

'''Troll:''' You ever played ''Powerstorm''?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've- I've played a demo of ''Powerstorm''. ''[[Wikipedia:Power Stone|Power Stone]]''.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Playing into that thing, uh- on your [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]], did you ever play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']]?

'''Chris:''' No.

==== Anime, more games ====

'''Julie:''' Aaa- Chris, can I ask you a question?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What do you think of the [[Wikipedia:EarthBound (series)|''Mother'' series]]?

'''Chris:''' ...mmm. Y- Oh yeah- you told me about your favorite song from there... uhh- I don't know much ab- I don't know- I do not know much about it, so...

'''Troll:''' Uhh- It's also known as ''Earthbound'' when it came out on-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, ''Earthbound'', oh yeah,um, I mean I've heard- I may have heard about ''Earthbound''... oh yeah, that's right. I remember hearing that its Japanese name was ''Mother''... or it was also known as MOTH-A.

[''a stunned, confused silence settles over the trolls. Presumably there is an audio cut here.'']

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Mmmmm. [''pause''] Uhh... uhh, I don't think so.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' You should play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']].

'''Hamsty:''' What about [[Wikipedia:Free Realms|Free Realms]]?

'''Troll:''' Yeah the whole... the whole... fanchat was playing ''Phantasy Star Online'' for the past few days, it was fun.

[''The sound of some kind of tapping can be heard in the background; presumably this is Chris because there is a pause and he doesn't speak until the tapping stops.'']

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other, along with a burst of static'']

'''Julie:''' -lay with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh. I might consider that. [Chris doesn't sound sincere]

'''Troll:''' I mean, we could show you how to get set up and everything.

'''Chris:''' Uhh- I don't- yeah well, I don't, I mean- uhh... Not tonight. [''pause''] But I'll consider it.

'''Julie:''' Okay-

'''Troll:''' Oh, also, also, um, [''Julie begins to talk over the troll''] reading to the left-

'''Julie:''' I mean, Jaggy, [''Julie is very unclear here''] Sorry, could you let someone else, everyone Jaggy, I didn't mean to hurry up- I mean, Chris, you can actually be [[Sonic]], in it! It's awesome!

'''Troll:''' Yeah, actually I'm playing as [[Tails]]!

[''more clicking'']

'''Chris:''' [[Sammy|Duuhokay]]!

[''pause'']

==== Music and Computers ====

'''Troll:''' What do you think of [[the Beatles]]?

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' It's, uh, just an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion|HP Pavilion]].

'''Julie:''' What Operating System do you have, W-Windows XP?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Windosse [sic] XP.

'''Julie:''' How much [[Random Access Humor|RAM]] do you have?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I don't know how much RA- how much total... RAM I have, but uh... yeah... I've pretty much got my... got my memory capacity- fill it up with like... tracks from iTunes, [[sex tape|some videos]], and, uh, [[rule 34|images]].

[''Chris stupidly confuses the volatile Random Access Memory (or RAM) in a computer with permanent hard drive storage. This is from someone who, according to what he told [[Kacey]]'s father in the [[Father Call]], "...took a computer upgrading class where [he] put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch."'']

[''stunned silence'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Ohh. Ohh. [[Wikipedia:Central processing unit|CPU]] Speed...

'''Troll:''' Like, your- your hard disk space... is for gigabytes and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well. I don't know what my- [stress sigh]

[''audio cut; volume is very muted and quiet when it comes back'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... 'bout [[random-access humor|random-access memory]].

'''Troll:''' Also, um, [[Hamsty]] said, um, what-what do you think of the Beatles? [the troll has a noticeable echo]

'''Chris:''' Uhh, they're okay. I- [''pause''] I mean, [''static''] I mean, I've heard the Beatles, but it's not like I've formed a total... full opinion of them. But you know, they're okay.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

[pause; the sound of shit getting moved around and occasional quiet muttering is present in the background for almost twenty seconds here]

==== Identifying a Homo ====

'''Troll:''' Uhh, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Troll:''' You know that [[homo|friend]] that uh- you told me to get rid of? He sent me an e-mail... and he's saying uh- wait let me read it. This e-mail says, uh... "Dude, I'm not gay, your room is so small and there's nowhere to sit; 'course I sat next to you, how else- I mean, w-what else was I supposed to do?" Lemme skim over it... and then, at the end here, he says, uh, "Dude, get it through your fucking head as much as you possibly can; I AM STRAIGHT." What am I supposed to say to him? Is he- is he gay or what?

[''The occasional sound of typing was heard while the [[troll]] was talking; Chris obviously wasn't paying any attention and has, almost certainly, [[Chris and his Ego|completely forgotten about an event which didn't directly concern him]] ]

'''Chris:''' I- I'm sorry could you-, I'm sorry, so, he-he-he... he said that he was... straight?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, he's telling me that he only sat next to me because my room was so small.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''Chris has obviously forgotten'']

'''Troll:''' You know, the friend that thought I was [[Homos|gay]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah! Hmm. [''long pause''] Mmm.

'''Troll:''' I think he's lying, I think he's gay.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''Chris's voice rises to a [[speech impediment|high pitched squeak]], outshining even [[Julie]]''] Well there is one thing... y-y-there is a, uh... test you could figure out... uhh... you could fill out- uhh... do you have any posters in your room?

'''Troll:''' Uhh... wait, my room?

[''It sounds like Chris is [[obesity|eating something]] in the background, possibly with a wrapper. It's a little disgusting.'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Where y'all would... hang out.

'''Troll:''' Not really.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay, well, uh... fill half the- fill half your-, cover half of your [[room]] with- [the troll talks over Chris] with- with-

'''Troll:''' Oh you-you mean like a [[Sailor Moon]] poster? Yeah, I have one of those.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, lemme- [Chris sounds annoyed] let me finish. Cover half of your room with pic-uh, with posters of [[china|women]]. Half of your room with posters of women. You know, c- you know, could be [[anime]], bikinis, oooor... posters you pull out from a ''[[Playboy]]''.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, I-I have those, yeah.

'''Chris:''' And then uh, on the other half of your room fill them up with, uh... posters of... [[homos|guys]].[''pause''] And like uh, you know you could- [''the troll interrupts'']

'''Troll:''' I-I-I don't know about that man, I'm not gay.

'''Chris:''' I know, but you know you don't have to put- you don't have to... put them in, like, you know, their [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]], but you could use like war hero posters like, uh, like a c... poster. Something like that.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, uh-

'''Troll:''' But uh, [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare|''Call of Duty'']]'s not gay!

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I know but, you know... [''pause''] yeah. But anyway uh, just go half your room in women posters and the other half of your room with uh... guy posters but uh- and then see which uh- which side of the room he leans towards. More.

'''Troll:''' But what if he really likes ''Call of Duty''? Does that mean he's gay? Urggh...

'''Chris:''' Maybe you could cover up the... title of the game if you wanted to, or uh j- or just like, fold it over. You know, just move the game title- but just like, you know, make sure you have the guy- just y'know. Just having the guy there and then... you know-

'''Troll:''' But it's a guy shooting stuff. That's awesome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but to a h- a but to- when you think about it... if you, uh, think about it, like if you were trying to get into the mind of a... homo... person...? He would see that as something different. [''pause''] But anyway uhh-

'''Troll:''' Uhh- I think it's awesome, like... pictures of a guy like, in army gear and shit, like, and shooting people-

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah but, uh, anyway, yeah, it just depends on his point of view and his perspective- but anyway, point is: [[Silvana|half women, half guys]], see which uh, side of the room he looks more towards. Or... leans towards. Or goes to.

'''Troll:''' Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but I-I I liked ''Call of Duty'', and like- posters of guys, like shooting s-things- I mean, I have a ''[[Wikipedia:Contra 4|Contra 4]]'' poster in my room, does that mean I'm- I'm gay?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no. I'm just uh-

'''Troll:''' Okay, cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like you know if you were to like uh, decorate your room, you would probably- you would likely put up more... posters of women than- posters- than have posters of... guys. W- So uh, when you think about that, uh yeah, that let's you- that reminds you that you're definitely straight if you put up more- up more posters of uh, women that's a good sign that you're straight. I have mo- I have more posters of women in my room.

==== Chris... I Wanna Take You To A Gay Bar ====

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What is so wrong with [[homos]]? I mean, I-I know that you don't exactly like them, but... what's wrong with having just a few... homosexual buddies? They're not gonna... you know. They're, you know... good people. You should give 'em- you should give at least one a chance. You should- [''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, but uh yeah, but yeah... see uh, you know I'm going to... associate, and uh... and n-now I to respect them, but it's just like, you know- I don't want to get- I don't want to be... too close.

'''Julie:''' No, but you see it's- the thing is- they won't go near a straight man...! They can tell that you're straight! Don't worry, if you just give one a chance and try to be friends with them, maybe play some more... play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]''... maybe play some ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''... have some [[hanky panky|fun]], not try and- just don't... just- just try to have fun with them. Just try for me. Can you please do that? Just try for me?

'''Chris:''' Well, that depends if I ever... meet one.

'''Julie:''' Can you go to like... a social place?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well.

'''Julie:''' A-A dance club! What about... what about like a straight- like, an everything dance club... do you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, mmm... I tell you what. I might go to a dance club... uhh, after you- after you get here so that [[virgin with rage|I don't have to feel alone]].

'''Julie:''' A'right.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''He sounds relieved that this particular conversation thread is mostly over'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' I have a question.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' M'kay.

==== The Medallion ====

'''Brit-Troll:''' Okay um, since I don't want to keep talking about gay men since that's not my thing, anyways this is about your [[medallion]] quest. Okay, uhh, anyways- anyways- what are the uh, the origins of your medallion, like when did you make it, is there any particular reason you wear it *all the time*, if you do, and if this is in any way related to your [[love quest]]? [''pause''] Yes, that's what I'm wondering as well.

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|I made it because I wanted to.]]

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' But-

'''Chris:''' Plus, plus, me wearing it all the time is like me wearing a name-tag but it's not like it has my... name... on the front.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but Chris he was asking why- WHY did you want to, is the question? [''pause''] You must have some motivation.

'''Chris:''' I didn't really have- I don't think I really have any motivation... as far as I can- as far as I can remember. Because that was, like, years ago.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Um like w-when exactly though Chris? Was this in, um, in [[2000]] when you first made [[Sonichu]], or when you uhh- first made [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]] in, uh, I believe [[2004]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, around 2004 or... [[2003]] I started drawing comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' W-Was that when you um... first made the medallion though? Cuz we've- we've seen you-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't... I don't remember *when* I made the medal...?

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' B-But-bu-bu-[''stammers incoherently''] but it definitely like- it definitely would have been like before I started drawing any comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yes, yes.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Oh Chris, I have another question for you!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Two actually uhm, one... do you think you could make me a cool medallion like yours... when I get there?

'''Chris:''' I *might*.

'''Julie:''' Awesome. [''pause''] And uh, the other question- w-what happened to the [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I'm still talk- you know I st-still talk to [[Sarah May]], but uh... I just haven't been there much since, uh... since... [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or troll or whatever... hacked into my... Sonichu Girls account.

'''Julie:''' Ahh, I see. Wait- someone hacked into your Sonichu Girls account? That's awful!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I can't believe some [[JERK]] would do that- that makes me so mad!

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Friends with Men ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Sarah... Sarah May... you can hear me on there, uh... you know you can hit me... set that back up. Whenever you can.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hey I was just wondering, uh- you know [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]]... is he your friend or what? I heard you know- you don't like to be [[JERK|friends with guys]], but... is he like a exception or what?

'''Chris:''' Mmm? Mmm- no, no.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' But he seems like really good friends with you though.

'''Julie:''' So we can, like, hate him or...?

'''Chris:''' No, no... I don't... hate him. Uhh... yeah, it's- he's more of a buddy.

'''Troll:''' So... he's like the only buddy as far as like guys go... right?

'''Chris:''' I've had uhh... a few buddies in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' Oooh, I thought you like hated guys or something... or-or didn't feel comfortable around them. Or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a combination.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but what about [[bob|Robert]]? I me-that's very interesting...

'''Chris:''' Wa-wa-wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. It's not necessarily th- it is NOT that I hate g- hate all men... I just the ones that are- that have- that are really... [[jerks]], which that'll be the majority of the male population.

[''The trolls talk over each other for nearly thirty seconds here, with occasional breaks'']

'''Troll:''' Isn't that sexist, Chris?

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' That's- that's... yeah That's kinda- that's kinda rough, Chris. It'd be kinda mean if someone said you liked- if [''inaudible''] fuck most 90% of all the population of something...

'''Troll:''' Very, very insensitive...

'''Troll:''' ...would die, or something...

'''Troll:''' ...not nice...

'''Troll:''' ...I mean, who-who would say that?

'''Chris:''' I have known a lot of jerks in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' I mean, uh, I confess, we all have.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but how far have you really traveled to see that Ch-Chris have- like, you know, there's so many other places in the world that- where men can actually be nice.

'''Troll:''' I mean, but not nice in the [[It's UGH!|gay way]].

[''The trolls finally stop talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' [MASSIVE stress sigh] Yeah I... don't know how to answer those questions cuz... I never traveled around the world. This far-The farthest I've ever traveled was to California on airplane... [[Cole Smithey|to visit my half-]]

'''Troll:''' [''inaudible''] -a neat place!

[''the trolls talk over each other again'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should go on a road trip.

'''Troll:''' Chris!

'''Troll:''' The world's a pretty good guy, eh?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well-

'''Troll:''' I mean, I can understand... like, a jerk move would be like... say, you're a friend with some lady and then some guy comes and takes her away from you, like, even though he knows you're in a relationship with her, but, like, if-if like, y-you've never ever known these people before, I mean how is it more of a- h-how does it really make them a jerk if you've never really met them and they didn't even know you or... you know, haven't had the chance yet.

'''Chris:''' Ummm... not really sure.

[pause; soft beep in the background]

'''Troll:''' Oh.

==== On The Transgender Community ====

'''Cameron:''' Hmm. Oh, Chris- I. I have a question for you. Uhm... I recall asking you once, like a few... chats ago... if you ever thought about being a cyborg and... you said no... but you thought about being a girl, and, you know, you went on... [[Family Guy|signed a package God gave you]]. But theeen, towards the end, you said that um, transgender people... male-to-female to be specific- uh, you suggested that they should... actually go ahead and have the surgery... um, since they're taking the hormones and I'm just wondering... some transwomen don't really have a problem with that area, I'm just- curious why you would suggest that.

'''Chris:''' Ok what- okay what you're saying... it's not what- it's not what I sugge- I-I-I never said anything like, uh, anything about the trans-gender people, or... taking a- or taking any surgery or what like that. You might- you might be uh, be confusing that to, uh, to where, to where I said that... I'd sooner change my gender b- then, before I- before I became a homo.

[''It's obvious that Chris either forgot or chose to forget when he said this statement; unfortunately, that part of the chat is part of a previous mumble which hasn't been completely transcribed. At least, [[BlueSpike]] and Cameron are quite convinced it occurred; if anyone knows where Chris said that, feel free to link it in.'']

[''sound of typing in the background'']

'''Julie:''' Actually Chris, um... Cameron's right- I think you did say that.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I don't remember.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Yeah we- we have a [[CWCki|record]], 'n... I just remember that.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, I mean, what do you think of [[hermaphrodite|trans-women]] in general? I mean- I know they're not sweetheart material, but... in general. Like, should they... go under the knife?

'''Chris:''' Um... [''long pause''] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh- with both sets of uh... genitals... I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.

'''Cameron:''' Reeeally. Well, f-first [sound of Windows beeping] of all, um, uhh, both sets or something like that is actually called inter-sexed- and it c- [''audio cut''] And uh... yeah, that's an old archaic term, Gecko-

'''Troll:''' I was wondering, uh-

'''Cameron:''' Oh go ahead, Falsion-

'''Chris:''' W-well either, well either way, transgender or hermaphrodite I'd raise them as a male.

'''Falsion:''' I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Chris-

'''Falsion:''' -when the child was born, couldn't you just like get an operation to have one set removed?

'''Cameron:''' I think it should be up to the child's choice eventually, I mean that does-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Falsion:''' Hold on, lemme talk for a second.

'''Cameron:''' Okay, go Falsion.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh... Chris, like, say if you were dating a girl... and it turned out [[Julie|she]] [[Sarah May|actually]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|had]] [[PandaHalo|a]] [[Blanca|penis]], what would you do? Cuz' I had- I had that happen to me once.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] I'd [[Chris Loses It|freak out]] and probably throw up.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, you would throw up because-

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, me too, I-

'''Cameron:''' -your son was... transgender?

'''Chris:''' What? No no no no no no... I meant, if I was dating a [[troll|woman]], and I thought she was truly woman [sic], but then I found out she was a hermaphrodite or a trans-gender... then-

'''Cameron:''' But- but... but yoooou... said that you... support their decisions to do that... why would you... why would you like, you know-

'''Troll:''' Freak out.

'''Cameron:''' Freak out about it.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhhh...

'''Julie:''' Yeah c'mon, people can do that operation thing, they don't- they- they feel kind of... well, people feel kinda picked on when they just don't get dates because of [[pickle|that]]. [''pause''] And it makes people feel bad, Chris, it kind of does.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhgh. I'm sorry, it's... mmm.

'''Julie:''' It's- it's okay.

==== A Wild Kitty Appears! ====

[''pause'']

[''Four soft beeps; the first two and last are identical, the third appears to be a Skype noise. Horrific, tortured yowling can be heard.'']

'''Chris:''' Hi there sweety.

[''More beeps, more pained yowling'']

'''Chris:''' Excuse me. It's my cat. Excuse me. Hi sweety, what do you want? Are you hungry? Come on, I'll give you some food.

'''Julie:''' Can I talk to the kitty?

[''Sound like a large avalanche of junk'']

[''Even more pained yowling.'']

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hi Lucy! There you go.

[''Hamsty giggles in the background; the general drift is 'it's okay, go on'.'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? [''pause''] Did [''inaudible''] log out?

'''Chris:''' I was talking to my cats.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' What kind of cats do you have?

[''pause'']

[''sound of typing'']

'''Julie:''' Kitty!

==== Return Of The Dickgirls ====

'''Falsion:''' So uh, about the things we were saying before; if you found out, like, you know, would you still love that person?

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''pause''] uhh. If I f-

'''Falsion:''' Like, if you had feelings for...

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''longer pause''] mmm. Hey [[Snorlax|Mum]], whatcha up to?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Oh, okay...

[''sound of mountains of junk, trash and rubbish being shuffled around'']

'''Snorlax:''' [''faint''] Somebody poop?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Yeeeah... Kitty did it already, I cleaned it up.

[''possibly someone muttering in the background'']

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] I did.

[''pause, moving of junk'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Right, so what was the question?

'''Julie:''' Wait, is that your mother? Can I talk to her?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, no she just left.

[''Julie, Falsion and Cameron talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' Aww, okay.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah Cogs said that- pretty much said it.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, to your left.

[''End talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah so, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Like... if you loved someone- I mean, a girl and it turned out that [[Silvana|she had a penis]], would you still love her?

'''Chris:''' Ooooh yeah. Uhh, mmm. No, I'd pre- no, I'd pretty much uh... break it off, but you know-

'''Falsion:''' Not even friends?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, not even friends...?

'''Chris:''' I mean but uh, yeah but I mean, uh, yeah, I- I mean break up... relationship and go back to being [[friend zone|just friends]].

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Okay.

'''Cameron:''' Oooh, okay.

'''Julie:''' But Chris, looks don't always matter, shouldn't it be the [[BlueSpike|person itself]]? I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Really, yeah!

'''Julie:''' I mean, not, not what's on the outside but what's on the insi-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie'']- I-I said I'd still be friends with that person. [''Windows beeping'']

'''Julie:''' Yes well- yes, but why would you still break with them just 'cuz of that?

'''Chris:''' I don't mean- I meant... I meant, I meant, [[death threats|kill them]]- I meant, still be friends but... not be [[rule 34|romantic]].

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Also, I was wondering, um- I watch a lot of television and I was wondering um- do you watch professional wrestling? I love it, my father loves it, and um-

'''Chris:''' Uhhhh... no, not- no, I don't watch it often. No.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, like, you don't watch WWE or um... the Ultimate Fighting Championship?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I don't.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' It just never really- it just never really interested me.

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Fail ====

[''The audio becomes extremely muted here'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, okay.

[''pause, sound of mouse clicks and typing in the background'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Also uhh, can you tell us, what's your favorite cartoon character?

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Uhh... who wants to know about it?

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Me and [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah well, when I heard, uh, it would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] I mean, you know but before him, I would say my hero would be [[The American Rabbit]].

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, that's great.

[''Several trolls talk at once; due to the extreme quietness of the audio it is inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] -I mean, wait. Does that mean Sonic qualifies as like [''inaudible''] considering like you show... or, like, [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] I consider it the number one in most ways.

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Yes but uh- that qualifies as a cartoon character if it's a video game... character.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yes but he was also in a cartoon though, he had uh [''inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] I remember that too like, like, when I was a little kid [[wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog|The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog]]- that's a fun show.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yeah. [''inaudible''] Um Chris, which show did you like- did you like the one with uh, like the one which was on Saturday mornings, or... did you like the one with uh, with the [''inaudible'']

[''Transcriber's note: Warning to listeners who may have their volume cranked to hear: the next speaker, presumably the person recording the conversation, has their volume at a normal level.'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] They were all [[wikipedia:Jaleel White|Steve Urkel]] as Sonic.

[''Jaleel White, most famous for his role as Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, also voiced the character of Sonic the Hedgehog and other characters for Sonic the Hedgehog media.'']

[''Chris's next reply is muted and quiet again'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah, th- [''inaudible'']

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Restored ====

[''From this point on, the audio is back to normal'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] D-did ya' like the one that had Sally, and-

[''Chris and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah, I liked the-

'''Troll:''' -Bonny, and other characters?

'''Chris:''' -Yeah- Yeah- I liked the [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday Morning]] better than the... [[wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|weekday]].

[''Transcriber's note: There were two Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons showing at the time Chris was a kid. One was a shitty weekday serial which was basically slapstick comedy and [[random access humor]] while the other was a much more serious show. Surprisingly, Chris favored the serious show.'']

'''Falsion:''' I absolutely agree.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, that was a much better one.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah. It was on, um- I think it was called like... the first one was The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, the second was SatAM... then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic Underground|Sonic Underground]]-

[''Transcriber's note: SatAM is the nickname given to [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|the serious Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon series.]]'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' -then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]].

==== Chris's Life as a Soap Opera ====

'''Troll:''' Here's a question, what's your favorite soap opera?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, d-do you watch them?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I watch soap opera- yeah, I've watched soap operas... I'd say, I've watched more- I've watched most often [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]].

'''Cameron:''' OooOOOOoooh.

'''Chris:''' A-And then- and then I also- [''Windows beeping''] during my teenage years I also watched [[wikipedia:Undressed|MTV's Undressed]].

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

'''Falsion:''' I'm watching a soap opera.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, Chris- do you sometimes ever get the feeling that your life is kinda... a soap opera?

'''Chris:''' [''sounding annoyed''] Yees. Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. How so?

'''Chris:''' Just feels that- it just feels that way.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. The only thing-

'''Chris:''' You know, I get- I get a lot of [[trolls|drama]] in my lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ahh. Do you- do you think that making your videos just... feeds into that a bit more?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] A lot of things have been... [[obesity|fed]]... to my... lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Chris:''' So it's like... well. A lot. A lot of stuff. Like, yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, you gotta keep doing what you do, you know, don't let the anyone get you down or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Just... just like, the end of a [[Asperchu|very good story]], like, everybody's life has a happy ending. The heroes. It's like a very good story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Cameron:''' Ooooh, hans-

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Falsion:''' Oh yeah- yeah- Hans here had a question here. He said- I he- I heard you're going to make a Chris Chandler show.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; Chris sounds annoyed''] That has- that has not been decided fully yet. Uhh, [[Vivian]] suggested it.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' I think it's a great idea!

'''Various Trolls:''' Yeah! Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I would watch it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Like, if you did do that, would you do it on like a weekly basis or-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- yeah I'd say more of a-

'''Falsion:''' -like a daily, or like a monthly-

'''Chris:''' -I'd say more- I'd say more a weekly.

'''Troll:''' I'd watch it every time, I mean...

'''Falsion:''' How long would each show be?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I- obviously ten minutes, I mean, there's uh- that's a limit.

'''Falsion:''' Well you could divide it- [''Various trolls interject, Falsion shouts over them''] DIVIDE it into parts?

'''Julie:''' Yeah you should make it like half an hour, e-every week.

'''Chris:''' Uhgh...

'''Falsion:''' Like Sonic SatAM.

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't know. Uhh, that's for me to decide... eventually.

==== A Terrible Idea is Born====

'''Troll:''' Also like The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog you could- you should add a segment for the [[Zapina|children]], like, you know, like, "Ask Chris" or "Chris Says"-

[''Trolls talk over each other here, the general drift is to suggest names for the title.'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah like telling peo- telling kids not to do drugs and stuff like that.

'''Troll:''' [''static-y''] [[Megan|Sexual]] [[The Wallflower|harassment]] and all that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Plus, will- [''audio cut'']

==== Rosechu-porn ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Just make an [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|eighteen-or-over section]] so we can all see the... comics-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie''] Yeah I'll- I'll-

'''Julie:''' I'd love it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll eventually make one of those, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

[''Various trolls interject and try to talk, but Falsion wins'']

'''Falsion:''' -Chris. [''pause''] Yeah you know Chris, I heard something about a uh... [[homo|poke'boy]] magazine I reckon that'd be pretty cool to release, you know. With the uh- with the uh... photos, and pinups of the-of all the Sonichu... uhh- the Rosechu girls. That uh, that I think'd- [''Chris talks over Falsion''] it'd be kind of fun.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Yeah well for your information it's two syllables, Rose-Chu, not Rose-a-chu it's...

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay. It's uh- it's uh-

'''Chris:''' [''quietly''] It's okay.

'''Falsion:''' It's west coast dialect.

==== Chris and Sonic Games ====

'''Cameron:''' I'm not sure if it's been asked before Chris, but do you prefer the 2D Sonic games or the 3D ones? Cuz' I like- I like the ones on the Genesis the best...

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Ahh. [''pause''] Mmm. I think I like 3D better.

'''Falsion:''' Hmm. [''pause''] In my opinion Sonic 3D was the best.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh, that one was pretty awesome.

'''Troll:''' Definitely.

'''Chris:''' That was the first- that was the first... 3D attempt at putting Sonic in 3D world, [''Chris slurs his words into an indecipherable mess''] anyway.

'''Troll:''' Actually, my favorite one was where you would take-

[''A troll tries to talk over the first, but the first starts again after a brief pause'']

'''Troll:''' My favorite one was where you would take Sonic and Knuckles and a- and latch Sonic 3 onto it, that was a great game.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== Back to the Show ====

'''Falsion:''' Also, um. I was wondering. If you were doing the show, would it be scripted or would it be like an improvisation, unscripted format? And would it have commercial... breaks?

'''Chris:''' Urgh... I would probably improvise, and [[Chris and Money|no commercial breaks]].

'''Falsion:''' O...kay.

[''silence'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, wait. Commercial breaks... don't you understand how TV works?

[''various trolls talk over each other, Cameron wins'']

'''Cameron:''' How do you think they make money?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I know but uh... [''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah you could actually make money!

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm not really sure how to do commercials on that note, so... I might just assume, uh...

'''Cameron:''' Or you could do it like [[wikipedia:Jimmy Kimmel|Jimmy Kimmel]], he does them on his show... live?

'''Falsion:''' You could just do your-

'''Troll:''' -yeah!-

'''Falsion:''' -own multiple cuts, then like, take a break in between them uh- and between like let some stress out, get everything organized-

'''Troll:''' -like the-

'''Falsion:''' -you know.

'''Troll:''' Put an ad commercial there, you in there... insurance [''very unclear''].

'''Troll:''' Or put in like some clips from your [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] or something. Or put on songs, or-

[''Chris talks over the troll, but he keeps going.'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh no, I-I- [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -waiting music, or something like that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I'd have to th- I don't [''voice trails off''] know I'd have to... go think about.

'''Troll:''' Okay.

==== Magazines ====

'''Cameron:''' Oh Chris, um- you remember a troll by the name of, uh, hottie96 on YouTube?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no I don't.

'''Cameron:''' Oh well you don't? Oh, okay. Well, she [''static''] posted a video... of someone who... sent you... um, [[niggo|African-American]] magazines.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, someone... put-[''static''] uhh, subscribed you- to your subscription for Jet, Essence, and uh... Vibe. And I was wondering-

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Cameron:''' -if those actually ever showed up.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] None of them showed up.

'''Cameron:''' None of them? Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' Ok good, because you know-

==== Daily Routine ====

'''Troll:''' Actually, I have a question.

[''pause'']

[''audio cut; the question is lost. Presumably, based on Chris's answer, it was about his daily routine.'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Yeah, it's- it varies, uh... you know, one day I'll be doing one thing, then next day I'll be doing something else, then some days I have to take a rest. Take- take days off.

'''Troll:''' Y-Yeah, I noticed that. It's like uh... it's like I can never tell like... w-what was it, I forgot what I was going to say.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] It's called a life.

'''Troll:''' Oh, Hamsty is saying... well, what do you do? You don't have a job.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' That was Hamsty and not me.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... sure. Um... [''pause''] I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

'''Troll:''' Hamsty is saying that you don't have a job, I mean, so you must have l-like a lot of free time so, you know, what do you do?

[''audio cut'']

'''Cameron:''' -me!

'''Chris:''' Oh. Mmm.

'''Troll:''' That's lucky.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah. Oh Chris, I have a question related-

'''Troll:''' Wait, let him answer.

'''Troll:''' Yes, I'm sorry.

'''Troll:''' Don't smother him like that.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... [''pause''] Yeah I can't really describe my uh... daily schedule on a... whim. At the moment. [''soft 'pong!' in the background''] And uh... Yeah I'd rather not say.

'''Chris:''' I get stressed one day and then I have to ta- then I have to recover.

[''murmur of troll agreement'']

'''Troll:''' I understand Chris.

'''Falsion:''' I mean, you seem kinda busy all the time, I mean...

'''Troll:''' And if you're working on things you like all day, and usually that's how you relieve stress, if you get stressed from that- if you do that to relieve stress the next day, then how is that t-taking a day off?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Uhhm... [''pause''] I don't know. I'm getting ti- these questions uh, I'm feeling uncomfortable with these questions.

==== Chris is Stressed, Moving On ====

'''Troll Chorus:''' Okay.

'''Troll:''' Hamsty has another question though. Since y- [''audio goes extremely quiet here, inaudible'']

[''Presumably, the question was about what Sonichu would sound like.'']

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I've always wondered what Sonichu sounded like...

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''Chris uses his 'Sonichu' voice, which is exactly identical to his normal voice, just a little less stressed''] Hey [[Rosechu|Rosey]], I'm gonna go take a swim!

[''shocked pause'']

[''Many trolls join in an approving chorus'']

'''Troll:''' Nice!

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's pretty cool.

[''Many, many voices, too numerous to make out']

'''Troll:''' Really bad-arse.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Troll:''' ...bad, bad, bad...

==== Comics Questions ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, Chris I had a question- kinda related to the comics. If you could have any, like, major big time company... publish it... uh, who would it be? Like uhh, you know, DC, or Marvel, or someone like that. Would you-

'''Chris:''' uhh-

'''Troll:''' -mind putting it out.

'''Chris:''' -I'd say probably Archie comics.

'''Troll:''' Oh nice, sticking with the classics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yeah, they did the uh, Sonic comics.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh uhh, Chris- um. Cogs had a question, I'll read it... um. Are your comics going to feature any lesbian relationships?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I don't think so.

'''Cameron:''' Oh? How come?
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|''I'm promoting being straight.'' -- Christian Weston Chandler.]]
'''Chris:''' I'm promoting being straight... for one thing.

'''Cameron:''' Mm hmm!

'''Falsion:''' Ooooh, we thought you were okay with like, lesbians and stuff.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, wi.

'''Chris:''' Well, I mean... I might, I might not I don't know- it just... it's a f- it's an, uh, future thing so... it's uncertain at the moment.

'''Cameron:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Falsion:''' Ahh. O-One thing, you said you wanted the game to go, like, multi-platform between... Nintendo and like the PlayStation, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Well, what I'm confused about isn't- isn't Pokemon like a trademark of Nintendo? How would that work out? There would be a lot of copyright...

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's voice is shrill and hysterical''] I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW, I'm not a business... genius. I don't know. I'm not a business genius.

'''Falsion:''' I was just asking.

[''pause, loud sound of typing in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... yeah, I don't yeah I don't- yeah... it's I-it's only a possibility, just a random- just a random idea I had. It's just like- yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Sailor Moon ====

'''Troll:''' Chris, I've just remembered something. Uhh- I- you're good- you're a pretty- you're a pretty big Sailor Moon fan, weren't there some lesbians in Sailor Moon?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] You're thinking of... Sailor Neptune and Uranus. [''Chris uses the other pronunciation of Uranus, [[homos#Fear of being a homo|probably to avoid that whole 'Your Anus' thing.]]'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah!

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I thought what they had was pretty special, I mean, you could do something like that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'm not sure about that.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, speaking of Sailor Moon, who's your favorite Sailor Scout?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Oh, um, by the way, speaking of Sailor Moon, what's your favorite Sailor Scout- if you don't mind me asking.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Who is your favorite Sailor Scout, out of the whole group?

'''Troll:''' Sailor Jupiter for me.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Falsion:''' Mine is, um-

[''Chris and Falsion answer at the same time'']

'''Chris:''' I like Mercury.

'''Falsion:''' -Mercury.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah, she was hot.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' I liked Chibi-moon.

'''Cameron:''' I liked Sailor Saturn.

'''Troll:''' I haven't got the opportunity to watch that show since it was on-

[''audio cut'']

==== Other Cartoons ====

'''Troll:''' Have you seen [[wikipedia:InuYasha|Inu Yasha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yah.

'''Troll:''' What do you- what did ya' think of it?

'''Chris:''' Good show.

'''Troll:''' Cool, cool. What's your favorite character?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'd say [[wikipedia:List_of_InuYasha_characters#Protagonists|Kagome]].

'''Troll:''' What about- umm, what's some other stuff on... you watch Adult Swim, right? Have you seen [[wikipedia:Code Geass|Code Geese]] [sic]? I think that's what it...

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Code GEASS.

'''Troll:''' Yeah yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've seen that.

'''Cameron:''' Noodle people!

'''Troll:''' What do you- what do you think of uh, you know uh, you know any characters you like..?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... C- I haven't really gotten into that- gotten really fully into it yet. I mean I watched the bi-

'''Troll:''' -yeah-

'''Chris:''' I mean I started watching it when I... got into Adult Swim because I saw, uh, a Japanese PSP game... that had- that was, uh, had like- had that- those- uh- that was of Code Geass, but uh... and the guy- and the guy- that reminded me of... Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Yo!.

'''Troll:''' Uhh Chris, since I've noticed you like anime and also romantic ones could I recommend like two anime for you, by any chance?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] ...Yeah, sure.

'''Troll:''' A'right, I've got your Skype right here, so I can... I'll PM- I'll PM you the links even? Like, one's called, '[[wikipedia:Higurashi no Naku Koro ni|When They Cry]]' and the other's called '[[wikipedia:List of School Days episodes|School Days]]', which I think you might like most. [''Transcriber's note: Chris is HIGHLY unlikely to enjoy either of these, except for the fact there's a lot of women in them.'']

'''Chris:''' I'll see.

'''Troll:''' Uhrm- Hang on, I'll get you the links. Also-

[''audio cut'']

==== All About Cocks ====

'''Chris:''' -uhh, Super Nintendo and the GameCube. [''pause''] I dunno, for the Super Nintendo I'd like uh... [''pause''] mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Hey Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' When it comes to Anime, do you like girls who are kind of... more-more of a sweet, you know, kind, soft hearted disposition or do you like them to be [[CWCFighter|strong fighters]]?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I like both, actually. [''pause''] But I think I'm uh more into the- I think I'm... like, you know, if I could put, you know, [[Silvana|half-half]].

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um. Also, on [[Adult Swim]], you ever watch an Anime called- um [[wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Shin Chan]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Shin-Chan.

'''Falsion:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah I mean it's uh, it's okay, but I don't care much for uh... the [[nudes|nudie]] parts. I don't care- I don't care much for [[Speech impediment|dem]] [sic].

[''Another troll talks over Cameron, but his voice is more audible'']

'''Cameron:''' Why don't you like the nude parts, you have a problem with the... human body?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

[''Cameron and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean you [[Sonichu 8|draw it in your comics]] so you must have plenty to say-

'''Cameron:''' [''singing''] You must have hooonor- honooor honor and a peeeenis...

[''silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Yeah I don't like look'n- yeah I just don't like looking at- I-I just- dicks offend me.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um, ever seen [[wikipedia:Case Closed|Case Closed]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh. [''pause''] Uhh Chris, remember that one time you drew uhh, [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu with his penis out]]? Were you offended by that or what?

'''Chris:''' I drew it with a condom.

'''Falsion:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I- I never drew it-

'''Falsion:''' Oh, with a condom it's okay, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Large difference.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' I- I'm sorry man, I'm sorry.

'''Cameron:''' So... how exactly does Sonichu's penis work? It- it slides out...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' We went through this in the comic, though... You should read the comic.

[''the trolls shout over each other'']

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I still don't understand it, kind of.

'''Falsion:''' You must be illiterate, then.

'''Chris:''' Bueh he-[''sic''] First he has to get stiff, and den [''sic''] he has to lean forward to make it come out. I got the idea from-

'''Cameron:''' I don't really me-

'''Chris:''' -I got the idea from the line where he says [[wikipedia:And the Wiener Is...|"Hey, mine goes inside me when I stand up, how do you think I feel?"]]

[''the trolls talk over each other; all dialog inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, Hamsty had a question.

'''Troll:''' Yes. Hamsty asked, "Are you into poop, Chris? Cuz that's a kink-"

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -Cuz that's kinky, I remember you said you had on... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|crapped briefs]].

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Yeah. I don't like poo.

'''Troll:''' No-one does.

'''Falsion:''' Only [[Christian Weston Chandler|sick weirdos]] like poop.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I know I don't.

'''Falsion:''' I won't say much then.

'''Chris:''' What?

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, we were talking to Clyde.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well I had- well I had up some [[vivitheg's aim chat|cat poo]] now and then, 'n... [''pause''] Uhh-

'''Falsion:''' -did you get a boner?

'''Chris:''' I was trying, I was trying- nnn. What?

[''pause'']

====On DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS====

'''Falsion:''' Okay, um. Remember [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS#Transcript|that time]] you were arguing with Clyde, 'n... you said you had like, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]]? Like, why did you say that to him? [''pause''] I'm kinda confused by that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I was uh- I don't know, he-he caught- I don't know, I was, I was... I don't know why I said it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Oh, oh, I- [''Falsion and a troll talk over each other''] remember what happened now.

'''Troll:''' -Yeah, you said you had dirty, crapped briefs. I remember, cuz-cuz he was, he was, calling you on the uhh- um, on- on the um, on the [[nudes|women's underwear thing]]. That's right.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, yeah yeah yeah. That's right. [''pause''] Cuz-

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' No, he was talking about, um, mm. About Chris's... [[barb|mother's]] underwear. And Chris, you said bra and panties were considered underwear, and underwear is a type of clothing, and uh brief [sic] and boxer equals clothing as well.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean, that was a pretty good comeback there I just wanna know what... motivated it.

'''Chris:''' I don't remember.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Uhh yes, Clyde can be... Clyde can be an arsehole.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, I-I used that once, someone was like- talking crap to me and I told him that and he like, backed away. So yeah, it was a good comeback.

'''Chris:''' [''quiet''] Uhg.

'''Troll:''' I see, um. [''pause'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I dunno, uh... I might. I might.

'''Troll:''' I'm a cat- I'm a cat person too.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I love cats!-

'''Julie:''' [''high pitched screeching''] MEOW!

'''Brit-Troll:''' -I have one.

'''Cameron:''' [''wistfully''] I'd love to have one some day.

'''Falsion:''' I wish I had one. My mother wouldn't let me.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. It's- [''inaudible'']-in my apartment to have one.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, she just- she's just allergic.

'''Troll:''' I had another question, uhh- I remember when like, Clyde was showing off that Rabbichoso thing... and you were like, it's a site for ventilation cracks- where do you come up with that? That's so good.

[''Presumably, this is from a Mumble chat that has not been transcribed yet. I could find no record of what the troll is blabbering about.'']

'''Chris:''' [''skeptical''] Ventilation cracks?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, you said his drawing-

'''Brit-Troll:''' -yeah, what does that mean?-

'''Troll:''' -was like a site for a ventilation cracks.

'''Chris:''' [''high pitched, defensive''] I never said that!

'''Falsion:''' That was an awesome comeback.

'''Troll:''' Yes you did.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] I don't remember saying ventilat- I said that- I said that... I said that was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oooooh.

'''Falsion:''' Ohh, even better diss.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I said it was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

[''pause'']

====Lightening the Mood====

'''Matthew Devoria:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Maybe we should lighten things up a bit. Uhh- Is there anything you [''sudden voice change, voice now quite high pitched''] want to talk about, Chris?

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Nothing... right at the moment, I mean, I'm... trying to get logged in so I can upload the uh... scanned... letter. [''pause''] So y'all can... read it for yourselves.

'''Matthew Devoria:''' [''faint''] Did you get- [''audio cut'']

'''Troll:''' Yeeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I'll do- I'll do that eventually. [''pause''] Y'know, soon enough.

[''The trolls all talk over each other, encouraging him to upload it.'']

'''Troll:''' Wait, Chris is trying to talk!

'''Chris:''' Uh, those uh, ju-for your information they are not lost episodes, they are just removable deleted scenes. You know, they can work one way with them or one way with- or another way without 'em. It's just the way I designed it. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, Rosie has a question she typed, she's wondering if you were considering undergoing speech therapy because you seem to have pronouncin-, trouble pronouncing uh, 'th', and all that stuff.

'''Chris:''' I took speech therapy during my early childhood years.

'''Cameron:''' Hmm

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh me too! I had- I have- I still have troubles pronouncing 'r' words and then-then they just told me it was like a problem with my jaw.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, I had a younger brother, true story, that, he couldn't pronounce certain words when he was in kindergarten so yellow he couldn't do y sounds, he was like, 'lellow'. But, going through speech therapy, he's actually overcome it. He's actually a very impressive linguist now.

'''Chris:''' Oh, well that's good. You know I can imitate somebody who doesn't have their two front teeth even though I do have my two front teeth?

'''Troll:''' Oh. Could we hear?

'''Chris:''' [''soul-crushing imitation''] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! My two front teeth! All I want for Chwiss-mathh itth my two fwont teeth!

[''trolls start out giggling, devolving into guffaws'']

'''Troll:''' That was hilarious.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's Spike Jones' classic. That you hear every Christmas.

'''Troll:''' It is a classic.

'''Cameron:''' Okay but uh, there's two questions on the side, from Monsieur Parfait: Hey Chris! What are you feelings on the PS3 being the main pick for the gay community and gay online gaming community, using PSN as their main social network-

'''Chris:''' Ok, you can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me. You can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me.

'''Troll:''' We'll toss that question out. Let's move on.

===Communism===

'''Cameron:''' Hamsty wants to know what you think of China. I guess he means the country, so...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a good country.

'''Troll:''' You like Chinese food?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright.

'''Troll 2:''' So wait, you're saying that communism is good? That's not very American of you.

'''Troll:''' No, that's not-

'''Chris:''' Wait, wait what?

[Chris and Troll 2 talk over each other]

'''Troll 2:''' Communism-

'''Chris:''' Food.

'''Troll 2:''' No, you sai-no you were asked what you think of China. You said you thought it was good. So you're saying that communism is good?

'''Chris:''' What-no. I did not say that. I just said that the country was good.

'''Troll 2:''' Yeah- that-

'''Brit-Troll:''' The country isn't that same as its government, though.

'''Troll 2:''' No, yes it is, yes it is! They support the communist-

'''Troll:''' Oh you be quiet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you be quiet, he's had enough.

===Cwcville Work Force===

'''Troll:''' I was just wondering one thing about uh Cwcville, um, do the people in Cwcville have to work or do they get money from the government?

'''Chris:''' S- yes, it's pretty much like real life, some work, some don't some get eh- you know it's just like- basically real life. Matching there.

'''Troll:''' Oh, so like, everyone has to like, work and stuff?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Dude I got the images up, I just uh, put up the link there.

[''trolls respond approvingly'']

'''Troll:''' Sonichu and Rosechu, do they have a job? Do they have a job or what, because I never like see 'em working in the comic, I'm kinda confused.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well, it's just like a whole- hmm, there's too many details to figure out there so just- you could just assume that you know there are so many tall buildings, so many office buildings, so many stores and all that, you could assume that a lot- that most everybody is working.

'''Troll:''' So what like, what's Sonichu's job?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Troll:''' What's uh, Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well shoot he's uh...[''pause''] Well, he protects Cwcville, for one thing.

'''Troll:''' Does he get paid for it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much give him- give him his own privileges.

'''Troll:''' Oh so like everything is free for him?

'''Troll:''' Isn't that an abuse of power? You were democratically elected weren't you?

'''Troll:''' Ok, you need to shut up, really.

'''Troll:''' Someone kick out Crass.

'''Troll:''' Crass, you're acting like an asshole.

'''Troll:''' Chris, I kicked him.

'''Chris:''' Good. Yeah,he was be- he was being very annoying.

'''Troll:''' He has an annoying voice, too.

'''Troll:''' He's also gay.

'''Troll:''' Yeah he's a homo.

[''huffing into mic'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah anyway.

'''Troll:''' So what about Rosechu, does she work?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I haven't really thought about- uh, nah- nah- I'd say- nah- she's got same-no. She's got privileges too.

'''Troll:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' But you know its like I couldn't- it's not like I couldn't offer her like a, job or something, I just never really thought about giving the hedgehogs anything-a job- giving the hedgehogs jobs.[troll talks over Chris] Just never came up.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I'm just saying, they always seem to be like, you know, on their like, time off, or like having- on spring breaks and stuff, I just wondered if any of the characters like worked, or what.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I never really thought about them having jobs. I just-

'''Brit-Troll:''' Well, in a way, their job is to protect Cwcville and, and when they do i bet its really hard and they need all they can-

'''Troll:''' Oh, they all protect Cwcville?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I thought it was just Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

===More Anime Suggestions===

'''Troll:''' Alright, uh, anyone else have any questions?

'''Logan:''' Uh, yes, uh did you happen to get my uh, pm, Chris? On Skype?

'''Chris:''' Um, uh, are you Logan?

'''Logan:''' Yes, that's me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I got them.

'''Logan:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' Uh, just download that later of your own free leisure.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' It's a highly recommended one. It's what...Julie got me into a little while back.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Oh. I see.

'''Logan:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah it's, it's made by sonic game, actually.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should really play with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh, what on your uh, your PS online thing?

'''Julie:''' No um, Phantasy Star Online, yeah, you should play with us.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Ph- oh- yeah I'll think about that. Oh yeah I just- yeah I was just- yeah I was just uh...uh yeah, uh Logan you were talking about the one your anime was uh, it's out- dynas-destiny?

'''Logan:''' Uh no it's uh, there's two I was trying to make you watch, uh, one is called [[wikipedia:Higurashi When They Cry|When They Cry]] and the other is-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah I see that. Alright well yeah I'll just- yeah well I'll just download the torrents and all. Download them- from the torrents. Later on. I have uh- I have- I have the uh, I have a- Limewire.

'''Troll:''' Oh I- yeah, I use that too, every now and then.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===Spice Girls===

'''Troll:''' Also um, Monsieur Parfait also asked you um, uh who was your favorite Spice Girl, Christian, and why?

'''Chris:''' Spice Girl. Uh, I'm not really sure. But I do- But I do- But I ''did'' like Spice Girls. I just never really thought of which one was my favorite.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I liked Emma, Baby Spice.

'''Troll:''' I liked Scary Spice 'cause she's scary.

'''Troll:''' I liked Sporty, she seemed pretty nice.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''uninterested''] Yeah.

[''pause'']

===The History of Cwcville===

'''Troll:''' So Chris, when was Cwcville founded?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...I've gi- I gave that some thought, I just uh, haven't uh, made it official yet. But mmm...yeah I- yeah I figure that uh, for the origin story of Cwcville, basically it was founded by my father. And he named it- and he named it after- me, cause I was just born. Cause I woulda just been born.

'''Troll:''' And it would be like, your legacy and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' So it would be born in- so it would have been founded in...1982?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===On Copyrights===

'''Troll:''' Oh that's pretty neat. Um, Chris, I was wondering, um, do you remember um, people were talking about like, you- you say you copyrighted Sonichu around the year 2000, and um people were um say-, people were otherwise claiming that um, maybe you didn't have it copyrighted, maybe that it's not in the database but, I was wondering, to prove them wrong, can you show us the copyright? [wheedling] Can you show us your copyright for Sonichu?

'''Chris:''' Oh...what are you talking about, like uh, papers and such?

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Mostly- yeah well mostly I just did like uh, what my father told me-what my father told me was viable, little c-in-a circle.

'''Troll:''' Uh, the, instant one. Well, there's also um, registered copyrights or um-[''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well- yeah well actually I did pay 35 bucks to uh...[talking to himself] hang on I got you on book mark...uh, shoot- Oh yeah, to the Library of Congress, I paid them 35 bucks for- for a copyright on that but I haven't heard any- I haven't heard anything back from them.

'''Troll:''' Oh, w-when did that happen?

'''Chris:''' Years ago.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I see.

'''Troll:''' You know, you should try to get a new copyright, maybe they'll listen this time.

'''Troll:''' Or, what you can do is um, go to um, copyrights.gov, that's actually where I had them copyright a patent one time.

'''Chris:''' I see, hmm.

'''Troll:''' The rate's like 45 dollars now, but I mean, an extra ten bucks, I don't think it would hurt.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I'll consider that.

'''Troll:''' I mean there's rumors that Clyde might be able to forge uh, forge documents to get it copyrighted before you, maybe you should get on that. I mean I-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh, pause] Well anyway uh, importantly did uh, y'all see the letter I've uploaded.

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's right.

[audio skipping, windows beeping, long pause]

'''Troll:''' I've been wondering, what does Cwc cola taste like?

'''Troll:''' Actually, this doesn't look real at all. I mean uh, Nintendo Of America, Incorporated, aren't they called uh- wait, wait a second hold on-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah it's Nintendo of America, ''Inc''

'''Troll:''' Hmm

'''Troll:''' I don't know, this doesn't look- legit for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I mean look at the letterhead!

'''Troll:''' It's easy to fake a letterhead though, you know.

'''Troll:''' Yeah you can even buy one of those.

'''Troll:''' I mean I could copy and paste and put that into, you know, a word template or something like that.

'''Chris:''' No, that's a real signature.

'''Troll:''' What people can do is like, sometimes they just plain take the signature from another paper and they can put it on anything else and s-

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean like, ok it's been like, it's actually serious offenses as well, it's like, people are copyrighting um, signatures, it's like identity theft.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I'll tell you what I'll do, Chris. One of my other cousins is a uh, he's a forensics analysis...guy. He uh, he reads like, notes people leave at the scene of a crime or letters from criminal cases and he can tell when something's fake or, someone like, you know, there was a case one time when someone murdered someone, and they forged a suicide note but they took [it to] him and he read it and looked to make sure that it was actually, you know, they wanted to see whether or not it was real, and he can spot a fake like, you know, like nothing.

'''Chris:''' All right well you do what you want.

'''Troll:''' Ok.

===A Wild Clyde Appears!===

'''Chris:''' All right well- all right well it's been fun but uh, I'm gonna head home now, I should get something to eat and uh-

'''Julie:''' Uh oh, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie?

'''Julie:''' He's here...

[''trolls groan'']

'''Chris:''' Well then it's a good time to...

'''Clyde:''' Well, wait! What do you say to one last showdown?

'''Troll:''' We don't even want you in here Clyde, what are you doing here?

'''Clyde:''' [says something about Julie] She might not admit, but she's worried for the future with you.

'''Troll:''' [super dramatic voice] Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

'''Troll:''' Wow, that's gonna threaten him.

'''Clyde:''' C'mon Julie, admit it.

'''Chris:''' Hey Clyde, you can lay off-

'''Julie:''' I talked to him, but that's it.

'''Troll:''' Clyde, you're worthless [unintelligible]

'''Troll:''' Clyde you are an asshole.

'''Chris:''' Everybody pipe down. Everybody pipe down.

'''Troll:''' Fuck you Clyde.

'''Chris:''' Clyde, I talked to Vivian. And everything's o- and everything's okay. You can lay off.

'''Clyde:''' No, I refuse to lay off. '''Forget''' whatever the '''bitch''' says! Alright? 'Cause '''I've''' been talking with Julie, and '''she's''' gonna have a miserable life if she '''goes''' with you. '''I've''' been talking to her '''goddamn''' parents, and they're gonna fucking take her away. [pause] Tell me Chris...

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you can, Clyde, just lay off- we- I know that Vivian-

'''Clyde:''' Julie I- Julie- come on-

'''Chris:''' -I know that Vivian has asked you to uh, just to try to pick on- to pick on me to get me to clean up my room and I did clean up my room. I got- I held up my end of the bargain so why don't you just leave us alone?

'''Clyde:''' Look, it's not enough, it's by '''Julie's''' request. Not Vivian's, not mine, but '''Julie's''' request. She just couldn't have the balls to tell you.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Clyde:''' Right Julie?

'''Julie:''' Ummm...yes.

'''Clyde:''' She's '''worried''' and '''I'm''' trying to get it '''to''' you, through your little head, that's '''she''' is just gonna break it off if '''you''' don't clean up your god-damned act.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you se- I did clean up my room.

'''Clyde:''' That's not all. Tell me Chris, do you pay your taxes?

'''Chris:''' Mmm...I don't have to pay my taxes.

'''Clyde:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' My family - my family helps me manage my taxes, and I don't have that much uh, income to tax.

'''Clyde:''' But either way- but when your parents are gone who's gonna help you do the taxes?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I'll worry about that when that- when I cross that bridge.

'''Clyde:''' God- oh come- you have to know now, you're 26 years old, you musta paid taxes a couple times. You gotta figure that out, man.

'''Chris:''' I paid sales tax.

'''Clyde:''' [''sigh''] Chris, you have a credit card right. So how- how- how much debt do you have on that card?

'''Chris:''' I take- I plead the fifth.

'''Clyde:''' You plead the fifth? Ohhh, come on, Julie '''has''' to know about your financial situation.

'''Chris:''' If Julie wants to know she and I can dis- discuss it in private. We don't need you to uh-

'''Julie:''' Chris...Clyde does have somewhat of a point. I '''am''' kind of worried about... the future.

'''Clyde:''' I'm just trying to help here. If you two went on your crazy ass marriage you two would have been divorced in a month. I'm trying to goddamn help. You better answer me.

'''Chris:''' Fine, I have a huge credit card debt.

'''Clyde:''' Well how much? I would like to quantify this so I can do some calculations.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...nearly 2K.

'''Clyde:''' Ugh, man. And you said you had a savings of one hundred? That leaves you with one thousand, nine hundred. To start a marriage with. You are screwed!

'''Chris:''' No, I pay it off in monthly payments.

'''Clyde:''' And how long, do you think it will take you to pay it off?

'''Chris:''' Due time.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''years'' to pay that off. Tell me, how much do you pay off each month?

'''Chris:''' I pay off about a hundred each month.

'''Clyde:''' You do know that's compound with interest, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''ten'' years to pay that off if you keep doing minimum payments.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Clyde:''' What-what is your credit score?

'''Chris:''' I don't know my credit score.

'''Clyde:''' You should look that up. You get for free, once a year, from three different companies. You should get it and report back to me, okay? Because Julie doesn't understand this, but I do, and I can help you with this. I'm just trying to goddamn help you. Don't take this as an insult, but if you want your marriage ruined, fine.

'''Chris:''' Well Clyde, I'll tell you what. If you wanna help me, you can come see me in person and we can talk about this.

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yes Julie?

'''Julie:''' You could try getting a job. That could also help, when we do get married.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, when the time comes and I decide-and uh, and ah-when the decision comes that I'll have to get a job then I will.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Clyde:''' But you don't have any capital now! You don't have any money now!

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you've done enough.

'''Clyde:''' Really? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what-what's the-can you even cook?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.

'''Clyde:''' What can you cook?

'''Chris:''' I can cook anything that's within my cookbook.

'''Clyde:''' What is your favorite thing to cook for Julie. I'm sure she'd love to know.

'''Chris:''' A good chicken noodle soup.

'''Clyde:''' Fantastic. Doesn't that sound delicious, Julie?

'''Julie:''' [''on the brink of tears''] It could be...I don't know!

'''Chris:''' Julie don't listen to-Julie don't listen to Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' She's not worried about me, she's worried about your future.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you don't have to worry, we'll work it out!

'''Julie:''' But Chris, I am worried!

'''Clyde:''' And another thing, Chris. How much fast food do you eat goddamn!

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I suggest something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' You could better yourself, you could take...lessons and you could get a really high paying job. I just wanna suggest that cause I'm really...I will admit, I am worried about the future, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I understand your concern. And you don't have to worry, I'll get myself a jo-I'll get a-I'll get myself a job soon enough, I'll would like it-I would appreciate it if you would still have faith in me and have faith in the future.

'''Julie:''' Alright, I'm still somewhat unsure...

'''Clyde:''' [talking over Julie] You're going to have faith when you don't see any action?

'''Julie:''' ...but, I can. But Chris, what job will you get?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I tried to, uh, get best job there is available around here, that I could get from, umm, from my previous experiences at least and my CADD degrees and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Clyde:''' You haven't looked, have you? You're lying, aren't you?

'''Chris:''' You're right, I haven't looked, but that doesn't mean I can't ''start'' looking so I can start looking!

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've-I've been thinking, and I think Clyde really is trying to help us. You need to help Clyde help us, do you know what I mean?

'''Clyde:''' You have been lying to Julie about looking for a job? Christ Almighty, how much have you lied to her?

'''Chris:''' But, Clyde, I'm willing to accept your help, but you do not need to be having such an insultive tone that you're giving off.

'''Clyde:''' Chris, there's a reason why I do this. I am the last resort, okay? I am the last chance for you to salvage any type of relationship with ''any'' woman. Y'know, you can sweet talk a woman, you can sweet talk any of your Sonichu Girls, but you know what? Within a month, you'll be divorced by Every. Single. One.

'''Chris:''' I did-that doesn't mean-I mean I never said that we'd have to get married right away, I never said that.

'''Clyde:''' Even then when you two are living together-it's not about marriage, it's about ''being together'', even.

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Well like I said when the time comes I'll deal with it at my own pace, but, y'know right now I can and I promised Julie that I will-

'''Clyde:''' Don't deal it at your pace, deal it at your relationship's pace. AKA, you and Julie. Don't be selfish.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've been doing some research in Christianity. Isn't that what you said you had-what you followed?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' And I read it, and apparently there's no sex before marriage, it's God's way.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh, actually, under the Methodist faith, it's-uh, it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Alright, but I'm still wondering. It is God's way, maybe, wait who is it?

'''Chris:''' It's-uh it's okay Julie. Julie, I tried-

'''Julie:''' No! How is it alright, though?

'''Chris:''' As long as you and I and we love each other truly.

'''Julie:''' Hnm.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. Okay, okay, I got another question. What- How much- What kind of, I mean, do you cook for yourself? Every week? Or you do go out for fast-food or something.

'''Chris:''' I cook myself- for myself the majority of the week.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hnmm. Chris, what do you make?

'''Clyde:''' Or do you just go out to eat?

'''Chris:''' I did not go out to eat every day of the week, Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' But how often?

'''Chris:''' I'd say probably 2 or 3- 2 or 3 meals out of the week.

'''Clyde:''' So the rest of the time, you cook. Right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Wha- what, so? What do you cook? For yourself, that is.

'''Chris:''' I cook for myself a lot of things.

'''Clyde:''' Like what? I mean, Julie would love to know what you can cook, so she have uh, you know, feeling what her diet might be.

'''Julie:''' Yes, what do you make for yourself? I don't mean to side with Clyde, but, what do you make for yourself?

'''Chris:''' I make uh, I make myself some veget- some vegetables and uh, meat, some soups... depends on what I have with me after shopping has happened.

'''Clyde:''' You cook for your parents, then, right?

'''Chris:''' No, my parents, they pretty much take care of themselves.

'''Clyde:''' That's...kinda selfish that you don't cook for them. I mean, your living with them.

'''Chris:''' Well, they have their- they live on two separated- their downstairs and I'm upstairs.

'''Clyde:''' Goddamn, I mean, you just, move out! I mean, Christ. Julie would- Julie, do you feel confortable with Chris's parents-

'''Chris:''' I'd like to move out but it's kinda hard for me to know my destination, and I'm not sure what my destination would be when I move out. At this time. But uh, after Julie, after Julie moves here and finds her apartment, I'm willing to move out of my house and move in with her.

'''Clyde:''' And how much do you think you gonna support Julie? I mean, you said you gonna be the house husband, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' So why isn't YOU looking for the house and not her?

'''Chris:''' I'll wait- I'll wait for Julie to come here and she and I can go looking together.

'''Julie:''' ...Chris? Can I tell you something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I did some math, and 800 dollars a month is not only—interrupted by Windows bleeps—part-time and the family is more than that.

'''Chris:''' Uh...by the family, you mean, you and me?

'''Julie:''' I believe so, yes.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. *sigh* Alright, well, yeah, well, I will definitely work into finding a job. I promise you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' I am not sure if I can get many jobs, you know, as I am considered immigrant.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I understand. I'll look for it. I'll look for work.

'''Julie:''' Thank you, Chris.

'''Clyde:''' And what you gonna look for?

'''Chris:''' *big sigh* Depends on uh, who's hiring around here and what I can find avaliable to me that's, uh works with my abilities.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should try and get one now, so you could help saving money for renting day.

'''Chris:''' I will think about that.

'''Clyde:''' I mean what kind of position are you looking for?

'''Chris:''' Can't say right now, because... just came- this whole- this just came with the spur of the moment.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you gotta look for a dream job or something, right?

'''Chris:''' *sigh* I never had a dream job.

'''Clyde:''' He's never had... you've never even thought about getting that perfect job- ever?

'''Chris:''' I just never had, just never had a job occurred in a dream.

'''Clyde:''' I don't mean literally! It just means something that you would like to do for the rest of your life.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to work, I'm just not short- I'm just not sure.

'''Julie:''' -worried.

'''Chris:''' Aww. But Julie, Julie, for the best of abilities I'm willing to uh, go out and work and find something that I can do. I mean, even- even if it's an office job.

'''Julie:''' Uh...

'''Clyde:''' What do you do everyday, Chris? What you do? I mean, you don't have a job, you play videogames, what else do you do?

'''Chris:''' *SIGH* I do a lot, I dot a lot of things everyday.

'''Clyde:''' That was not specific enough. I want to know how you do your time management--

[''weird noises'']

'''Chris:''' Well because currently I am without a job- because currently, without a job, it's kind of- it's kinda varies from day to day. But I am willing to get a job and make it more solid for the day-to-day of my future.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you- what do you do at home, do you just sit there? Hoping money is going to fly to you or something?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Clyde:''' Then, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' I do a lot of creative things, like- yeah, yesterday I cleaned up my room.

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris, what do you do everyday? I'm wondering.

[''awkward silence'']

'''Julie:''' ...Chris?

'''Chris:''' I am, yeah, I'm just thinking.

[''more silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mostly I'm creative. But I have things to do everyday.

'''Clyde:''' You're not being specific enough, you're just saying ''I have things''. What? Do you just jack-off all day?

'''Chris:''' NO!

'''Clyde:''' Well, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' Right now I don't have a very solid schedule, like you know, what I do on a day-to-day basis.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you could at least gone to school and, you know, get something.

'''Chris:''' I did go to school and I did get something...

'''Clyde:''' Go to school again.

'''Chris:''' ...and I'm willing to get a job and—I'm willing to get a job based on what I have learned from my school days.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? Chris? Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' As long you're on your free time, you should really try to work more on you comic and make as much money as you can, because that's kinda is your job, at least right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Julie:''' So can you work harder on the comic?

'''Clyde:''' *laugh* You fail at that, the only thing with your time it's make those Sonichu comics and you can only pop one out every four months, having my brother- GODDAMN YOU CHRIS.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I promise to work harder and more swifting on my comics.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Chris:''' I will- I'm gonna- I gonna heel now I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Clyde:''' Just another of my goddamn words, Chris.

'''Julie:''' Chris, one last thing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' About the comics, you should try and get one of these monthly or at least bi-monthly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' And how you're gonna make money with that? You're just wasting your time.

'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris

'''Chris:''' Uh?

'''Julie:''' Are you still gonna play burnout?

'''Chris:''' Tonight, yeah.

'''Julie:''' We are-

'''Clyde:''' And that's what you do with your spare time, play Burnout. Ha ha ha.

'''Chris:''' CLYDE, SHUT UP. I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay, I'll turn on my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Ich baan schwill, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay. Ich bin schwul.

[''Chris disconnects'']

'''Clyde:''' SKAJSHRLA oh-

'''Bluespike:''' Haha! Oh! He said ''I'm gay'' What a faggot! Did y'all hear that? Chris is gay! He says so himself!

[''Trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' You actually got him to say it!

'''Troll:''' But you said it as well, so I don't know, man...

'''Bluespike:''' Oh oh. You're right. STAY ST-RAIGHT.

'''Troll:''' Goddamnit Bluespike, you wanna play videogame-

[''random shit'']

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 7|Mumble Chat 7]]|}}

== Links ==

* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBXzRCRFozUUZvODg Download]

{{FanChats}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mumble 06}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

28 October 2011

2026-01-26T08:13:50Z

MarcelDubois: /* Chris retaliates */ Corrected quotations and spelling of Mitsubishi

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.|Chris, recalling his arrest.}}

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] and [[Barbara Weston Chandler|Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris had been banned since [[2008]]. Chris had then recently heard that the shop was under new management thanks to [[pedofork|sexual abuse charges]] being placed upon the previous owner, and he had hoped that [[List of places that have banned Chris|his ban from the store]] could be lifted with a new appeal.

To Chris's horror, he realized that [[Michael Snyder]] was now the man in charge, meaning that Chris was effectively trespassing [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|after Snyder told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to return]]. What happened next is still not completely clear, but Chris took a photo of the store and was escorted out, snapping an additional two photos of Michael Snyder in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris allegedly hit Snyder with his car, before switching seats with Barb, who hit him again.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went]]</ref>. After this, they drove away in an attempt flee the scene. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Barb assaulted one during their arrests in an effort to protect Chris. Both were subdued and arrested.

Chris and Barb were each charged with felonies, and Chris was also charged with additional misdemeanors, which meant they both were facing possible prison time.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's. The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates.

On 10 July 2012, a plea bargain was reached. All of their charges were reduced to misdemeanors. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and mental healthcare|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay for Michael Snyder's medical expenses. By the time all was said and done, most of [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s inheritance was wasted on paying for a defense to justify Chris's personal vendetta against someone who tried holding him accountable for his actions. This, along with the subsequent fines, would later bite his surviving family in the ass with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]] a few years later.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">https://web.archive.org/web/20150205122122/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">https://web.archive.org/web/20150611194657/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. This occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.
**Amended to Misdemeanor.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* [[This is how the Trial went|10 July 2012]] - 2:00pm - Arraignment. Felony charges reduced to misdemeanors.

===Chris's===
[[File:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|thumb|If only Chris had heeded this advice]]
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, probably [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20141024104025/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* [[This is how the Trial went|10 July 2012]] - 2:00pm - Arraignment. Felony charges reduced to misdemeanors.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filed a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris's case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20130907161034/http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/poDomesticViolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

No further information on the civil suit has emerged since then, and with the Chandlers having been ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills as part of their plea bargain, it seems likely that the suit will not proceed any further.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|taunted Snyder for his]] [[obesity]] and claimed that he [[Pedofork|molests children]].

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated "After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black." He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mitsubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Upon sentencing, all five charges shared between Chris and Barb were reduced to misdemeanors. Rob Bell told the judge that despite this, Chris and Barb maintained their version of the events as accurate. This meant they were both technically making an "Alford plea", whereby the defendant does not actually admit to the charges against them, but nonetheless pleads guilty because they do not believe they are likely to win the case, which will still usually result in a more lenient sentence for saving the state the time and expense of a full trial.

Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris, in a stunning display of [[ego]]tism even by his standards, replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service, two years of probation and was ordered to pay $474 in court costs; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies,<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref> and he was ordered to pay $247 in court costs.

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]] confirmed that this email was accurate to the events of the day.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]], we had just stopped at the [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the [[McDonalds]] there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burning it down]] [[Death threats|being the alternative]]).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, [[Honor roll|perhaps it was another Mike]]. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my [[3DS]], activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For [[the Internet]]". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was [[Wikipedia:Stonewall_Jackson#First_Bull_Run|Stonewall Jackson]]. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; [[Chris and reality|Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.]]

And more shit happened. Mom called [[Jerkop|911]] on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a [[Decepti-Clones|cop car]]. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of [[Chris and money|$324]] Rx lens [[glasses]] were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her [[Obesity|Blood Pressure]] was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]], then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; [[Muscle bra|took off my shirt]] due to the heat; pretended to be a [[Wikipedia:Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair|genie with light brown hair]] for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to [[Jesus]] for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. [[Rocky]] was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the [[CWCki|Cwcki]] that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on [[YouTube]], where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "[[Pokemon]] Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my [[PS3]] to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. [[Chris and reality|With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.]]

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's first photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Snyder, channeling Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
File:CR12000096-01.png|The judgement against Chris on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Chris ASSAULT- (MISDEMEANOR) .png|The judgement against Chris on the ASSAULT charge.
File:Chris TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN.png|The judgement against Chris on the TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN charge.
File:Barb fail stop.png|The judgement against Barb on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Barb ASSLT- ON LAW ENF-DOC PERSON .png|The judgement against Barb on the ASSAULT ON LAW ENFORCEMENT charge.

</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisChanRoth.jpg|Artist's depiction of the assault.
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[26 December 2014]], a later incident that got Chris arrested
*[[Chris and the Law]]
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Law}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Manchester High Leaks

2025-12-11T19:49:10Z

MarcelDubois: /* Adjectives worksheet */

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91 (also known as [[Cousin Al]]), began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's junior year (1998-99) of [[Manchester High School|high school]]'''.<ref>[https://archive.md/4xcbm]</ref> Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[2014 house fire|the January 2014 fire]] and subsequent events at [[14 Branchland Court]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high grades which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra credit would have contributed to his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Chris and Spanish|the wrong language]] and still got good or even ''perfect'' scores. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions and/or incompetence, but even though they may have made Chris, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving apathetic answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations". This idiosyncratic expression has been interpreted as referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children. It is likely to be just an obscure, antiquated idiomatic formation not to be taken literally, referring to the various [[Christopher's name change|wacky happenings]] stemmed from raising one single [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|very special boy]].
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other]] [[Vidya|methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly, earning him an F.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20, a C-.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods – chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name three benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Monthly tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Chris and stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended [[Niggos|slavery]], it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia, South Carolina]], and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president (this may have something to do with South Carolina not adopting a popular vote for president until 1868, making it by far the last state to do so, although this is probably giving Chris too much credit). In actuality, the 24th amendment abolishes poll taxes, while Chris makes it seem like it suddenly requires them. Additionally, the 26th amendment doesn't apply exclusively to men; it gives suffrage to all Americans 18 and older, regardless of sex.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].

Chris glosses over most of the Bill of Rights amendments (including the First Amendment that allows him to behave the way he does over the Internet), claiming the whole thing simply means "innocent until proven guilty."
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "[[Niggos|AFRICA]]".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble (oddly from a white person): "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]
::[Note: In reality, the Senate was always two people from each state, and the 17th Amendment made them directly elected rather than appointed by State legislatures.]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME [[DUCK]] [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
::[Note: Clinton's second presidential term did not expire until 20 January 2001.]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled [[Pokemon|"S.S. ANNE."]], carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
::[Note: In reality, it was the exact opposite; the 24th Amendment ''prohibited'' federal and governments from requiring voters to pay poll taxes in order to vote.]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against '''the''' evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low – Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher should not have been hired.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Khomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured ''[sic]'' in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby ([[Michael Snyder|Rubinstein]]). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on [[wikipedia:The Nun's Priest's Tale|The Nun's Priest's Tale]] from [[wikipedia:Geoffrey Chaucer|Geoffrey Chaucer]]'s [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as [[CWC-isms|making up words]]. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft, which his teacher didn't even notice was the conclusion}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War ''I''. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently [[Chris and race|racist]]. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he [[Plagiarism|quoted]] begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as [[Chris and writing|Chris's writing in general]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity", and yet she still got hired as a teacher.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin, the tense is actually correct in this case] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like [[Chris and fashion|your clothes]] 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
[[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Nice watch]] 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive [sic] that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}

===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
{{main|13 Lucky Writing Tips}}

This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched the Spanish dub of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random-access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricardo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad" – at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Brushfire Video|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of") instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler

7/12/98

Español, '''4'''

En mi cuarto, <s>yo llavo</s>hay una mochilla [''sic''], una cama, unos videos, <s>una video</s>, unos pósters, un televisón [''sic''], <s>un juego de</s>, unos juegos de videos, un pasador, unos estántes, unos libros, ∧y unos almohadas.

En mi cuarto <s>yo</s> no <s>llavo</s>hay una alfombra, unos discos, un estéreo, un radio despertádor, unas plantas, una cámara, unas cintas, un máquina de escribir, una silla, y una grabadora.
}}}}

Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
{{Incomplete|article=false}}

A hypothetical résumé Chris created for a chemistry-related job, plus a score sheet for a mock job interview for such a role. Despite being marked as meeting all of the objectives to an acceptable standard (and some even to a high standard), Chris's employment record turned out to be [[Chris and work|less than stellar]].

<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|
{{quotebox|
<center>
Christian W. Chandler. 
6008 Partingdale CR. 
Richmond, VA 23224. 
Phone #: (804)-674-9474. 
</center>

Objective: I would like to work as an Air Quality Control Chemist in the area of analyzing data and constructing models.

Qualifications: I feel that I am qualified for the position of Air Quality Control Chemist, because of my analytical and inquisitive nature. I question and challenge all aspects of every issue. My education and work experience in the area of chemical science give me the background I need to do an efficient and effective job.

My outstanding talents in drafting designs and building three-dimensional objects gives me a basis on which to build ideas for developing new products and processes. With my mathematical skills, I can calculate the necessary and possible outcome of my ideas.

Work History: 

2005-2010:
<center>
Sales Representative. 
Virginia Power. 
Charlottesville, Virginia.
</center>

2010-2013:
<center>
Computer Engineer. 
R.O.W. Sciences/FDC. 
Hampton, Virginia.
</center>

2013-2017:
<center>
Medicine Researcher. 
Bell & Associates. 
Richmond, Virginia.
</center>

Education:
<center>
Manchester High School, Richmond, Virginia 
Graduated June, 2000 

University of Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia 
B.S., M.S., and PhD. in Chemistry and Mathematics 
Graduated June, 2004
</center>

Interests and Activities: I build models, play video games, create instruction booklets for lego models, and speak Spanish. I am a member of the International Lego Creations Organization, The Pokemon Traders Society, and the Math & Chemistry Club.

Availability: I am available to start work immediately and work overtime during the week.

----

[On the back of his mock resume, Chris wrote "I had help from yahoo.com and my mother." The marker wrote "50/60, 33.1, 83.1/100".]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
3/15/99 
Chemistry, 2 

Questions for Panel:

1. Why are you applying for this job? 
I feel that I have the experience, education, talent, and skills to perform this job.

2. What do you have to offer this company as a chemist? 
My great mathematical skills and knowledge of chemistry.

3. How would you handle a situation where you saw someone stealing from the company? 
I would report the incident to my supervisor.

4. How would you handle an irate co-worker? 
I would ask if I could help, and try to console him/her by talking about other things.

5. If I give you an assignment, out of town, would you accept it? 
It's nice of you to offer, but I would rather have local assignments.

6. Are you available to work weekends? 
I would be glad to work when necessary.

7. How do you feel about working with customers? 
I enjoy working with people.

8. Tell me about your favorite hobby. 
My hobby is building structures with Lego pieces.

9. How does work and hobby and family life work for you? 
I enjoy all elements.

10. Tell me about your family. 
I have a wife and two children, and we enjoy each other's company.

----

}}
}}

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[2014 house fire|cause his house to burst into flames]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[2009-2016 tweets#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Education}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T19:41:06Z

MarcelDubois: /* Mistakes */

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs supporte y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details supporte y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' were a noun. However, ''estancé'' (''estanqué'') literally translates to "I stagnated". It is clear Chris believes it means "sentence"; the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración''. Also, instead of ''finallié'', the correct word is ''final'' .

-The Spanish equivalent of "introductory" is believably ''introductorio'' and the word for "paragraph" is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate ''escribes'' into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of "thesis" is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for "name". Anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "He calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun, it would be feminine and take the article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''supporte'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-He erroneously uses ''paragraph'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-He uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés'', as well as the word ''unifying'' when the correct word is ''unificante''. ''unifying'' is also a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-He doesn't contract ''de'' and ''el'' into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for "details" is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''supporte'', ''relate'', ''estánce'', and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-He doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for "adequate" is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''supporte'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for "literature" is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-He uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for "very", ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho''.

-He uses ''pointé'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in some way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense: he flops between ''crear'' ("create") and ''creer'' ("believe") and neither really parses. He could be attempting the subjunctive of either verb, but even if his two-year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood, he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for "carefully" is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''Cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T19:31:32Z

MarcelDubois: corrected spellings to those that appear on the paper itself, and format and grammar correction

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs supporte y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details supporte y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' was a noun. However, ''estancé'' (''estanqué'') literally translates to "I stagnated". It is clear Chris believes it means "sentence"; the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración'', also the word is ''final'' instead of ''finallié''.

-The Spanish equivalent of "introductory" is believably ''introductorio'' and the word for "paragraph" is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate ''escribes'' into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of "thesis" is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for "name". Anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "He calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun, it would be feminine and take the article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''supporte'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-He erroneously uses ''paragraph'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-He uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés'', as well as the word ''unifying'' when the correct word is ''unificante''. ''unifying'' is also a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-He doesn't contract ''de'' and ''el'' into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for "details" is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''supporte'', ''relate'', ''estánce'', and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-He doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for "adequate" is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''supporte'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for "literature" is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-He uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for "very", ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho''.

-He uses ''pointé'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in some way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense: he flops between ''crear'' ("create") and ''creer'' ("believe") and neither really parses. He could be attempting the subjunctive of either verb, but even if his two-year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood, he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for "carefully" is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''Cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T18:51:33Z

MarcelDubois: /* Mistakes */

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' was a noun, however estancé (estanqué) literally translates to ''I stagnated'', it is clear Chris believes it means sentence, the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración'', also the word is ''final''.

-The Spanish equivalent of introductory is, believably ''introductorio'' and the word for paragraph is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate "escribes" into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of ''thesis'' is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for ''name'', anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "he calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun it would be feminine and addressed with the feminine article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''support'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-Erroneously uses ''paragragh'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-Uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés as well as the word ''unifying'' when the word is "unificante", also ''unifying" is a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-When the words ''de'' and ''el'' are used consecutively they are contracted into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for ''details'' is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''support, relaté, estancé,'' and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-Doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for ''adequate'' is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''support'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for ''literature'' is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-Uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for very, ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho'', literally writing "very boy".

-He uses ''points''/''pointe'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in ''some'' way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense, he flops between ''crear'' (create) and ''creer'' (believe) and neither really parse. He could be employing the subjunctive of either verb but even if his two year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for carefully is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

Sonichu 8

2025-12-01T04:57:51Z

MarcelDubois: /* Rage Against the Garbage */ The nipples are the only thing that evert during arousal. The breasts are always there, according to the diagram; they’re just featureless.

{{Honest}}
{{deadLinks}}
{{quote|SillyBeachFrenzy08|Chris's title for his file of the censored comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties8a.png]]</ref>}}
{{quote|CrazyBeachFrenzy08|Chris's title for his file of the uncensored comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties8b.png]]</ref>}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #8
| cover = Sonichu8.jpg
| coverdate = 20 August 2008
| finishedcomic = 1 January 2009 (revised 10 [[July 2019]])
| pagecount = 101
| episodes = 17-18
| sub-episodes = 3
| previous = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]
| next = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
}}

'''''Sonichu'' #8''' is the ninth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Based on the cover, this was originally planned as a [[Rosechu]] Spring Break special, featuring both [[Blanca Weiss]] and her character [[Jiggliami]] as introduced in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. However, by [[August 2008]], Chris's focus was entirely on the [[trolls]], and that greatly altered the shape of this issue.

Chris unveiled Episode 17 in September 2008 without having first completed the entire issue, in a break from the established tradition. Rather than featuring a Spring Break story, Episode 17 presents a story of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and Rosechu fucking until they discover ''slanderous mislabelings'' on a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], whereupon Rosechu poses for nude photos of herself to prove that she doesn't have a penis. The rest of the comic deals with the Spring Break element as a means to psychotically address the relationship statuses of the Sonichus and Rosechus. Even though Chris had temporarily stranded his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic self]] in the [[Time Void]] as to focus his attention on Sonichu, the story instead treats all the hedgehogs as more of an ensemble cast, which would take hold for the rest of the series.

In the end, the long-awaited Spring Break story would appear as Episode 18, although it would not be completed for several more months following [[Blanca]]'s betrayal of Chris, his subsequent [[Stress|depression]], and the massive distraction provided by playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris would not return to work on the comic until he was told of a boy named [[Ryan Cash]] who, despairing of ever seeing his beloved ''Sonichu'' comics again, committed suicide. Ryan's tragic story, and the sadness of his mourning brother [[Clyde Cash]], prompted Chris to redouble his efforts, and Rosechu finally got to go on Spring Break in the dead of winter.

''Sonichu'' #8 proved to be widely condemned, primarily due to the hardcore sex scenes between Sonichu and Rosechu, who had previously been described as being 16 and 15, respectively. Chris rushed to include scenes in this issue that would firmly establish both characters as being of legal age to avoid accusations of child pornography.

==Development==
A few months before Episode 18, several plot points were leaked in [[Chris Sex Logs|audio conversations]] Chris had with his then-sweetheart.
{{clear}}

==Public Service Announcement==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|The disclaimer, as it appeared originally.]]
Before the prologue, Chris has a page dedicated to a disclaimer by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Rosechu assures their readers that she and Sonichu are both over 18, and they like to 69. She then promotes safe sex. Sonichu then promotes Chris's warped morals about sex education.
{{clear}}

==Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 17''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_1 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}} ''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P1.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phFqXLjEt5s&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=23 ''Episode 17 (1 of 4)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSw31YVQ_8c&index=24&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (2 of 4)''
}}
The story opens with a number of proclamations from Chris, preparing unsuspecting readers for the horrors that they are about to witness:

*Sonichu turned 19 on March 17, [[2007]].
*Rosechu turned 18 on December 22, [[2006]].
*As of November 3, 2007, the pair have been living in a house in the suburbs of [[CWCville]]. The house has been fully paid for with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

Worth noting is that Sonichu and Rosechu's house is yellow and pink, just like its occupants.

Inside, Sonichu shows off his bare ass to the reader, while Rosechu emerges from the bathroom in pink lingerie. The pair engage in disgusting pre-coital banter, which may even be post-coital since Rosechu suggests they just got done showering together. We also learn that Sonichu has a seven-inch (18 cm) cock, and requires "double-extra length" condoms for safe sex (but anyone who has ever paid attention in health class can tell you that regular-sized condoms can fit Sonichu perfectly).

The two monsters engage in what they call "Missionary Cowgirl", apparently unaware that these are two completely opposite sexual positions. Rosechu responds by saying, "I think I can hotshot. Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." (The slot line is [[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]] from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

In a moment of illusory mercy, Chris interrupts the action to discuss the nature of Sonichu and Rosechu's reproductive organs. In fact, the reader is subjected to a new kind of horror, as Chris clumsily attempts to explain how naked cartoon characters can have tits and balls. For the most part, Sonichu/Rosechu biology is a sick parody of human anatomy, with the following key distinctions:

*A Rosechu's vagina or "[[china]]" is normally hidden from view by some hideous flap of skin, which recedes during urination, sexual arousal, or a "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|psych-up]]" attack.
*[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] nipples appear only when aroused, "for sensual massage". This creates the horrifying implication that Rosechus can only nurse their young when horny.
*Rosechus possess a "V-shaped pouch" behind their vaginal opening, which apparently serves the same function as a human uterus.
*A [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]'s penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect to urinate.
*Sex may be painful for Rosechu the first time, even causing her to bleed from her hymen, but it soon begins to feel like "a sensual massage."
*Sexually transmitted diseases are unheard of in the Sonichu/Rosechu population, which makes sense, given that there are fewer than twenty of the little freaks, and most of them were created abiogenetically.
*If impregnated, the resulting zygote is gestated within the mother Rosechu for "a few months," after which the Rosechu deposits an egg outside of her body, and must keep it warm until the infant [[Sonee]] or [[Rosey]] hatches. This reveals that all Rosechus are {{w|monotremes}} (egg-laying mammals).
Chris also declares that "most" STIs can be treated and removed, although it is unclear if he is referring to human STIs or bug-eyed furfag STIs. He refers the readers to local libraries and the internet for more information and then returns to the hideous yiffing scene in the Sonichu household.

Chris treats the readers to a cock-eye view of Sonichu's penis falling out of his pelvis. As they 69 each other, Rosechu emits disgusting blue fumes from her ungodly orifice, which Sonichu appears to savor. Sonichu finally penetrates Rosechu with his sickening yellow member, and Chris depicts numerous scenes of past intercourse between the two wretched creatures. Grasping Rosechu's tail, Sonichu pounds away at Rosechu's gaping hole, until the two finally reach orgasm simultaneously.
{{clear}}

===Rage Against the Garbage===
{{Resources
| title = Rage Against the Garbage
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 17''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_3 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Part_3{{!}} ''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P2.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhqY2aJIwHQ&index=25&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (3 of 4)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01HCMw7LIk4&index=26&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (4 of 4)''
}}
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|300px|right|"[[Chris and art|They look so life-like.]]"]]
[[Image:Rosechustrips1.png|thumb]]
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|200px|right|"What a show!"]]
Twelve hours later, Sonichu seeks out even more putrid beast-sex from his sow, but Rosechu is too engrossed in her discovery of a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], which defames the good names of not only Sonichu and Rosechu, but their father [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] as well. Rosechu shows Sonichu various drawings of them and their friends (in fact, the [[Rule 34]] images Chris himself uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]), and Sonichu mistakes them for photographs.

Rosechu goes on to show him the "apex" of the site, referring to numerous drawings of herself with male genitalia. Overcome with nausea, Sonichu vomits. Unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, Sonichu insists that Rosechu is female, and cites her photoshoot in ''PokéBoy'' magazine as proof of her gender. Thinking that the dickgirl pictures were created by mistake rather than malice, Sonichu suggests they "prove" Rosechu's womanhood to 4-cent_garbage.com's staff in person. He nearly faints with weakness, and Rosechu puts him to bed to sleep off the trauma of seeing cartoon penises on the internet.

Incensed, Rosechu decides to retaliate by producing an amateur photoshoot and uploading it to 4-cent_garbage.com to counter the dickgirl artwork. Her efforts are fruitless, however, as even more Rosechu-with-penis drawings are uploaded all the time. Rosechu decides to consult [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for help.

At 1:45 that afternoon, Sonichu, Rosechu, and [[Wild Sonichu]] are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com building in Clarksville, Tennessee, courtesy of [[Magi-Chan]]. While Rosechu seeks to confront the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head of the company]] and protest the website, Wild has been tasked with locating one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], which Magi-Chan detected inside (likely in some feeble attempt by Chris to tie this story into the overall plot). While Sonichu contacted the mysterious head of the company to make their appointment, the only name given was "Jason." In a pathetic attempt at subtlety, Chris depicts [[Thurston Howell III]] and his wife walking down the street to hint at Jason's full name.

For no reason whatsoever, Wild expounds upon his childhood, telling a tedious story about how his father, a [[Scyther]], was captured by poachers in the jungle. He makes clear that he intends to avenge his father's death, despite not having mentioned it once since he was introduced. Wild turns invisible (a skill he learned from a passing Porygon), and slips into the building.

Sonichu and Rosechu enter through the main door and find a [[Beel|demonic receptionist]] in the hellish atrium of the building. He rudely directs Sonichu to the 72nd floor (66+6). In the elevator, Sonichu angrily whines about the receptionist, until Rosechu reminds him of the [[story of Joseph]], and its moral of [[Death threats|forgiveness]].

As Sonichu and his pink cum-dumpster ascend the building in the elevator, they stop regularly to check out the [[4-cent_garbage#The_elevator_gags|strange things happening on every floor]]. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at each floor to look at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever they see, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no reason. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not.

On the 36th floor, Wild finds a Sonichu ball in an empty room. Holding both of his Balls somehow prevents Wild from using his invisibility power, or contacting [[Magi-Chan]] for extraction. Wild is left with no choice but to sneak out of the building on his own, which is implied to be a feat of great difficulty despite the building containing a total of three adversaries.

On the 72nd floor, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jason, who introduces himself as a 20-year-old [[troll]], and his companion [[Kathleen]] as his "minory 17-year old woman," with whom everything he does is "illegal in these 50 states". When he bids the Electric Hedgehogs to state their case, Sonichu delivers a moving speech to convince Jason that the website needlessly drags names through the mud and that it's morally wrong to troll innocent people. Jason responds by saying that the page will stay up forever.

Enraged, Sonichu attacks Jason, but he is no match for the troll's awesome powers. Rosechu elects to withdraw, preferring to forgive Jason since there is no reasoning with him. The two leave with their arms around each other, and Chris pointlessly interrupts the story to explain how the two crimes against nature can touch each other's spiny backs without getting hurt.

Adding insult to injury, Jason tosses a [[pickle]] at Rosechu, striking her on the back of the head. Pushed to the breaking point, Rosechu crushes the pickle, strips nude, and leaps into the air to attack Jason.

With ferocious roars (and a good deal of [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|plagiarism]]), Rosechu lands pelvis-first on Jason's head and wraps her tail and legs around his body, SHOVING his face up her [[China|vagina]]. With sadistic glee, she claws open his head and bites down on the wound, then unleashes a powerful burst of electrical power. Sonichu even says she "had him going." Though dark forces somehow sustain Jason's life, he admits that the attack would have otherwise been fatal. Exhausted, Rosechu gathers her clothes and leaves with Sonichu. While he is impressed with her display of raw fury, Rosechu is horrified at her primal rage and makes some mention that she "transformed" into "[[The Incredible Lioness|some monster]]," expressing concern that "this thing" won't overtake her again. If Sonichu were a better comic, this might be interpreted as foreshadowing, but since it's Chris, this event will never be mentioned again.

Outside, the three Hedgehogs reunite, and Magi-Chan teleports them back to [[CWCville]].
{{clear}}

===Epilogue===

Later, Rosechu hosts a gathering of other Rosechus to protest [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and uphold [[Women's rights]] by producing pornographic photoshoots. In addition to [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Lolisa]], the group is joined by [[Simonla Rosechu]], who supplies the backdrops for the shoot and volunteers her services as a model. The group is also joined by [[Zapina Rosechu]], a fourteen-year-old who desperately wants to [[pedofork|"volunteer her services of cuteness"]] to the project and join in the stripping fun. Citing "dumb" laws<ref>While many argue that Chris is referring to "dumb laws" against child pornography, it is plausible he's referring to "dumb" child labor laws which would prohibit Zapina from participating in setting up lights, cameras, etc. for the photoshoot. In any case, Chris thinks it's "dumb" that a fourteen-year-old can't work, sexually or otherwise.</ref>, Rosechu refuses her help, but Lolisa offers to supervise Zapina as she uses the light from her mutant ass to illuminate the photoshoot.
{{clear}}

===Advertisement===

Chris introduces the Knothole in an ad filled with [[random-access humor]]. Some might consider this a [[parody]] of a parody, which [[Parody#Hypocrisy|Chris feels is improper]]. However, Chris has cleverly pre-empted such accusations by labeling it a tribute, turning the tables on his critics with the power of his high-functional mind.
{{clear}}

==Episode 18:"Spring Break, 2008!"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 18''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_60 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}} ''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P33.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjBme409Hx0&index=27&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 18 (part 1 of 3)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8TQ3vE7Z4U&index=28&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 18 (part 2 of 3)''
}}
[[Image:LikeFatherLikeSon.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu squeezes and kisses Rosechu and leaves her feeling extremely uncomfortable. [[Megan|Like father, like son!]]]]
Apparently ''still'' concerned that someone will accuse him of being a [[Pedofork]], Chris establishes ''yet again'' that his characters are of legal age, this time by actually showing the birthday parties held for most of the main cast since Episode 17. Rosechu turns 19 on December 22, 2007; the [[Chaotic Combo]] turn 19 on February 2, 2008; and Sonichu turns 20 on March 17, 2008.

Finally, [[Black Sonichu]] celebrates his birthday in a private get-together with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Blake disputes that he even has a birthday since he was cloned from Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]] and thus not born of a Rosechu's uterus (which is stupid because all the other Sonichus and Rosechus were hatched from fucking eggs anyway). Bubbles, however, insists that he is a 20-year-old "starting straight with an 11-year old body". Bubbles asks Blake what he wished for and he says "It's already come true", where Chris is either butchering the classic teen film "{{w|Sixteen Candles}}" or the Family Guy parody of it. The two kiss and Black Sonichu agrees to rendezvous with Bubbles at the CWCville Spring Break Concert on March 22.

Chris introduces Spring Break by ripping off a gag from a ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode, wherein Meg Griffin tries to ignore Spring Break by flipping channels, only to find that every station is covering Spring Break, including the news. Chris repeats the joke almost verbatim, except he fails to include anyone actually watching the television, rendering the joke incoherent. The scene is best remembered for the appearance of ''[[Excel-Saga|FQX]]'' newswoman Greta Squall, a hideously deformed woman with club-like arms and scars on her face which look like the numeral "2".
{{clear}}

===Spring Break, 2008!===
{{Resources
| title = Spring Break, 2008!
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 18''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_66 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}} ''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_85HJpRE_DA&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=29 ''Episode 18 (part 3 of 3)''}}
The story proper opens with [[KCWC]] DJs [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] covering the event.

{{quote|We have a lot of great events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor, Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] that [[CWCville]] is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or somkey! We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious [[CWC-Cola]], Diet CWC-Cola, Lemonade, Grape and Orange Soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola Bottling Company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] You can enter to win a 40-inch Sony HD-TV from Cwick-Circuit City, or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept. Also tonight, our rising star, [[Jiggliami]] will be singing her debut single, "War of Love" on the concert stage here at CWCville Beach. So stay tuned to CWCville, [[Virginia]]'s number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more!|Jamsta Sonichu, desperately craving nicotine and liquor.}}

Almost immediately, Lolisa excuses herself to take a swim.

On the stage, Jiggliami and [[Blanca]] eagerly await their performance. As in their appearance in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], both of them babble incoherently about their music. Blanca maintains that she will wait for Chris to return from the [[Time Void]] — ironic since Blanca had betrayed Chris long before this episode was uploaded to the internet.

On the beach, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy themselves. Like Franklin from ''{{w|Peanuts}}'', characters with suntans are depicted with vertical lines for shading. When Chris does it, though, it just looks like the characters are shaking uncontrollably, teleporting, or just soaked with [[comeuppance|liquid]]. While Sonichu heads off to surf, the Rosechus lie on the beach.

Responding to a question asked by [[Angelica]], Bubbles explains at length that she does not need sunscreen because she is incapable of tanning and impervious to sunburn. This has something to do with her being a Water-type Pokémon, her body being composed of 90% water (about the same as a watermelon), and her fur being capable of adapting itself to her surroundings. This rant comes despite no Rosechu or Sonichu ever being shown to tan, and how they would tan at all if covered in fur is anybody's guess.

The Rosechus notice a mysterious black Rosechu, and later catch up with [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[PandaHalo]] make a cameo appearance as well.

Bubbles's sunbathing is interrupted when Magi-Chan contacts her to collect a [[Sonichu Ball]] from the ocean. Before she can get up to find the ball, Black Sonichu kicks sand on the girls. Rosechu threatens to attack him, but Bubbles offers to do it herself and pretends to force Black Sonichu away from the others. While she and Blake seem determined to hide their relationship, Rosechu and Angelica secretly know the truth and laugh at the transparency of Bubbles's ruse.

Chris incorporates a drawing of Sonichu surfing by PandaHalo, yet he manages to ruin the continuity by drawing in different colored water around the edges of the picture. Also, Sonichu wasn't wearing his shoes earlier, but Panda's drawing shows him wearing shoes.

Elsewhere on the beach, Bubbles tells Blake of her mission to find the Sonichu Ball, and they agree to meet at Pier 969 later for disgusting sex. Little do they know that the black Rosechu from before has eavesdropped on their conversation. As she transforms into a duplicate of Bubbles, Chris introduces her as [[Silvana Rosechu]] and explains that hers was the ''sixth'' egg that emerged from the [[Rainbow]] along with the five eggs that became the Chaotic Combo. Silvana's egg wound up on the Earth's [[moon]] (Chris predictably does not explain how) where [[Count Graduon]] somehow made telepathic contact with her in [[1980s#1989|1989]]. As Mewtwo mentored the infant Magi-Chan Sonichu, so did Graduon raise Silvana. In addition to training her in the ways of evil, Graduon "upgraded" Silvana to have both [[Hermaphrodite|male and female genitalia]], and enabled her to change her shape.

In the Atlantic Ocean, Bubbles searches for the Sonichu Ball, passing by fan-favorite character [[Yawning Squirtle]], among other crappily drawn Pokémon who sing the song "Under the Sea" from ''{{w|The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid}}'', [[Things Chris has ripped off|yet another thing Chris has ripped off]].

Magi-Chan informs Bubbles that the Ball is claimed to be 5 miles (8 km) out to sea and, helpfully, "2,000-5,000 fathoms" (2.3 - 5.7 mi / 3,700 - 9,100 meters) below the surface, which is impossibly deep for Bubbles to dive (the deepest point of all the oceans is 6.8 mi / 10,900 meters). Chris likely used "fathom" (6 feet / 183 cm) as a measurement of depth without bothering to find out how big a fathom was.

Meanwhile, Black Sonichu buys condoms in anticipation of the nasty, dirty animal sex he intends to share with his revolting mate. Silvana, posing as Bubbles, meets him, and convinces him not to wear a condom. Blake agrees, never suspecting Silvana's power to ejaculate a "paralyzing sleep solution" during intercourse. At Pier 969, Blake humps the foul creature, never suspecting that his cock is possibly ramming up against Silvana's own penis, which is perhaps withdrawn inside her vagina. Blake passes out from the effects of Silvana's seed, and she teleports him to a closet in the CWCville Beach stage. From there, she returns to Pier 969 disguised as Black Sonichu and lays the same trap for Bubbles. What she had actually intended to ''do'' after systematically seducing, raping, and subduing the various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|recolors]] is never elaborated upon.

Before Bubbles goes to the pier, she hands off the Sonichu Ball to Angelica to ferry back to [[CWCville Mall]]. As she flies off, [[Punchy]] and Wild discuss their sex lives. Punchy wants to bang Angelica, and Wild seems uncertain what to do about his own loneliness. The two resolve to enroll in a [[Dating Education]] course offered at CWCville University, thus setting up the [[Sonichu 9|next shitty issue]].

[[File:BubblesXSilvana.jpg|thumb|Silvana's eventual goal.]]

At Pier 969, Bubbles meets Silvana, but before she can present her hindquarters for vomit-inducing copulation, she receives a telepathic message from Magi-Chan, warning her of the impostor. How Magi-Chan knows the difference, and why he didn't warn Black Sonichu of the same thing, is left to the reader's imagination. Bubbles is skeptical at first, but Jiggliami calls to inform her that she has discovered Black Sonichu in the stage closet. When Black Sonichu himself warns her of the danger, the dumb slut finally begins to put two and two together. Bubbles exposes Silvana by asking her to attack her with Black Sonichu's electrical powers. Although Transform grants the user the ability to mimic all moves known by the target, Silvana instead opts to use her own psychic attack to simulate Blake's power, but Bubbles knows the difference. Silvana reveals herself and teleports away before Bubbles can avenge Blake's manhood. Horrified, she returns to Blake's side to comfort him.

That night, Jiggliami finally performs the damned song Chris had been promoting for four months. Chris credits Blanca Weiss for composing the lyrics on August 20, 2008, which contradicts the premise of Jiggliami performing the same song on March 22, 2008. Also, the song, "War of Love", makes no sense whatsoever, and resembles the sort of crap Chris writes all the time.

As an epilogue of sorts, Chris establishes that Blanca found "her boyfriend" and returned to her home state of Kentucky, despite previously establishing that she intended to wait for Chris to return from the Time Void. Acknowledging his own personal life, Chris briefly discusses the three [[Trolls|women]] he was involved with during the fall of 2008. Chris claims to have been uncertain about which one to pursue, and credits God and Jesus for eliminating two of them by having [[Optimus Prime]] kill [[Sarah Jackson]], and revealing the second to be in alliance with the trolls. Presumably, this is meant to refer to Blanca, even though Chris has depicted her as his girlfriend in this very story. The third woman, [[PandaHalo]], Chris declares to be his True Sweetheart, and the person he would promise his [[sex|first time]] to, although he would abandon her for dead within two months.

In a small note on the last page, Chris acknowledges the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]] and admits a modicum of responsibility for his death.
{{clear}}

==Alternate versions==

When originally uploaded to [[Sonichu.net]], Chris offered multiple versions of Episode 17, depending on which link the reader selected. These were based upon the rating system used for television content.

[[Image:TVMA.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-MA''': The uncut version. It was quickly unlinked from the site; however, all files remained available.
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TV14.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-14''': A censored version. Mostly, this is accomplished by Chris putting a photograph of a banana over Sonichu's dick, an orange over Rosechu's vagina, and blue stars on her nipples. Other objects are used throughout the issue to conceal nude pictures Chris took from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TVY7.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-Y7''': A version which omitted many pages of the original story. Chris appears to have created "Rage Against the Garbage" with these edits in mind, as the TV-Y7 pages are numbered normally, while the pages featuring nudity and sex were lettered (e.g. page 19-A, 19-B, etc.). As the sexual content in the story was gratuitous and pointless in the first place, removing it did little to harm the quality of the work, except that the plot is significantly altered. Since Rosechu's face raping of Jason had to be removed, the TV-Y7 version implies that Sonichu and Rosechu left peacefully, never to revisit the matter.

Chris would rearrange the content in the TV-14 version numerous times before finally settling on a single version of the story, with most of the nudity removed yet with Rosechu's face rape attack left in. The hedgehog porn was reportedly removed at the request of his parents, and Chris would later add a message to his site stating his solemn vow to never again depict his characters engaged in sexual activity. This promise was soon broken when Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] and snuck all of the deleted scenes there.

===The uncensored scenes===
[[File:Sonichu 8 on Lulu.png|thumb|200px|The extended edition, offered for sale on [[Lulu]] behind an Age Verification wall.]]

By popular demand, here are the uncensored images from ''Sonichu'' #8, including the ones from Episode 17's prologue that now appear on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia's 'Biology' page underneath 'Reproductive Biology of Sonichu and Rosechu']. Be warned: the [[CWCki]] takes no responsibility for any emotional or psychological damage inflicted upon readers of these pages.

{{clear}}

{{collapsible
|Uncensored images from Sonichu 8 (abandon hope all ye who enter here)
|<gallery caption="Episode 17: Rage Against the Garbage" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:DatingEducation.jpg | PSA (Original)
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg | Page B
Image:SchuComic8P102.jpg | Page C
Image:SchuComic8P103.jpg | Page D
Image:SchuComic8P104.jpg | Page E
Image:SchuComic8P105.jpg | Page F
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg | Page G
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg | Page H
Image:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG | Page I
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg | Page 5-A
Image:SchuComic9Page5-B.jpg | Page 5-B
Image:SchuComic9Page5-C.jpg | Page 5-C
Image:SchuComic9Page19-A.jpg | Page 19-A
Image:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg | Page 19-B
Image:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg | Page 19-D
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg | Page 32-F
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg | Page 32-G
</gallery>}}

===Revised Version===

On 10 July 2019, Chris made an update to the comic on his [[Patreon]] page:

{{quotebox|In better light of their respective birthdates being better educated to me, I have updated both versions of "Sonichu" #8 with those dates, also to change the Chaotic Combo's day from combined birthday to group anniversary and add their birthdates onto the page for reference.

Y'all can blame the Trolling-Stupids of 2008 pressuring me to make everyone fake being older than they are (with the exception of Magi-Chan, since he was literally born in 1948). Seriously: Go Figure the conversion from Pokemon Levels to Age at the time of Evolving.}}

This was made in response to fit in the new headcanons made under the influences of the [[Idea Guys]].

<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|Sonichu #8 Version Comparison
|-
!Page Number
!Original Version
!Revised Version
!Notes
|-
|20
|[[File:SchuComic8P25.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page20edit.jpg|120px|center]]
|The anti-[[HEXbox]] floors is replaced by anti-troll floors.
|-
|37
|[[File:SchuComic8P60.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page37edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Rosechu is now celebrating her 16th birthday on 8 January 2008.
|-
|38
|[[File:SchuComic8P61.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page38edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|The Chaotic Combo is now celebrating their formation's 5th anniversary on 2 November 2008. Each of their birthdates are now listed below.
|-
|39
|[[File:SchuComic8P62.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page39edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Sonichu is now celebrating his 16th birthday on 20 April 2008.
|-
|40
|[[File:SchuComic8P63.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page40edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Date is changed from March 21 to April 4. Bubbles now states how Blake started at Level 16.
|-
|41
|[[File:SchuComic8P64.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page41edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Date is changed from March 22 to April 5.
|}
</center>

==Comic Pages==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 8
|<gallery mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu8.jpg | Cover
File:Issue 8 Disclaimer.jpg | Disclaimer
File:DatingEducation.jpg | PSA (Original)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 17: Rage Against the Garbage" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:SchuComic8P1.jpg | Page 1
File:SchuComic8P2.jpg | Page B (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page-G-TV-14.jpg | Page G (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page-H-TV-14.jpg | Page H (Censored
File:SchuComic8Page-I-TV-14.jpg | Page I (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P3.jpg | Page 2
File:SchuComic8P4.jpg | Page 3
File:SchuComic8P5.jpg | Page 4
File:SchuComic8P6.jpg | Page 5
File:SchuComic8P7.jpg | Page 5-A (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P8.jpg | Page 5-B (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P9.jpg | Page 5-C (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P10.jpg | Page 5-D
File:SchuComic8P11.jpg | Page 6
File:SchuComic8P12.jpg | Page 7
File:SchuComic8P13.jpg | Page 8
File:SchuComic8P14.jpg | Page 9
File:SchuComic8P15.jpg | Page 10
File:SchuComic8P16.jpg | Page 11
File:SchuComic8P17.jpg | Page 12
File:SchuComic8P18.jpg | Page 13
File:SchuComic8P19.jpg | Page 14
File:SchuComic8P20.jpg | Page 15
File:SchuComic8P21.jpg | Page 16
File:SchuComic8P22.jpg | Page 17
File:SchuComic8P23.jpg | Page 18
File:SchuComic8P24.jpg | Page 19
File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg | Page 19-C
File:SchuComic8P25.jpg | Page 20
File:SchuComic8P26.jpg | Page 21
File:SchuComic8P27.jpg | Page 22
File:SchuComic8P28.jpg | Page 23
File:SchuComic8P29.jpg | Page 24
File:SchuComic8P30.jpg | Page 25
File:SchuComic8P31.jpg | Page 26
File:SchuComic8P32.jpg | Page 27
File:SchuComic8P33.jpg | Page 28
File:SchuComic8P34.jpg | Page 29
File:SchuComic8P35.jpg | Page 30
File:SchuComic8P36.jpg | Page 31
File:SchuComic8P37.jpg | Page 32
File:SchuComic8P38.jpg | Page 32-A
File:SchuComic8P39.jpg | Page 32-B
File:SchuComic8P40.jpg | Page 32-C
File:SchuComic8P41.jpg | Page 32-D
File:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg | Page 32-E
File:SchuComic8Page32-F-TV-14.jpg | Page 32-F (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page32-G-TV-14.jpg | Page 32-G (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P43.jpg | Page 32-H
File:SchuComic8P44.jpg | Page 32-I
File:SchuComic8P45.jpg | Page 32-J
File:SchuComic8P46.jpg | Page 32-K
File:SchuComic8P47.jpg | Page 32-L
File:SchuComic8P48.jpg | Page 33
File:SchuComic8P49.jpg | Page 34
File:SchuComic8P50.jpg | Page 35
File:SchuComic8P51.jpg | Page 35-A
File:SchuComic8P52.jpg | Page 35-B
File:SchuComic8P53.jpg | Page 35-C
File:SchuComic8P54.jpg | Page 35-D
File:SchuComic8P55.jpg | Page 35-E
File:SchuComic8P56.jpg | Page 35-F
File:SchuComic8P57.jpg | Page 35-G
File:SchuComic8P58.jpg | Page 35-H
File:SchuComic8P59.jpg | Page 36 (Ad)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 18: Spring Break, 2008!" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:SchuComic8P60.jpg | Page 37
File:SchuComic8P61.jpg | Page 38
File:SchuComic8P62.jpg | Page 39
File:SchuComic8P63.jpg | Page 40
File:SchuComic8P64.jpg | Page 41
File:SchuComic8P65.jpg | Page 42
File:SchuComic8P66.jpg | Page 43
File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 8.jpg | Page 44
File:Sonichu - Episode 18, Page 9.jpg | Page 45
File:SchuComic8P69.jpg | Page 46
File:SchuComic8P70.jpg | Page 47
File:SchuComic8P71.jpg | Page 48
File:SchuComic8P72.jpg | Page 49
File:SchuComic8P73.jpg | Page 50
File:SchuComic8P74.jpg | Page 51
File:SchuComic8P75.jpg | Page 52
File:SchuComic8P76.jpg | Page 53
File:SchuComic8P77.jpg | Page 54
File:SchuComic8P78.jpg | Page 55
File:SchuComic8P79.jpg | Page 56
File:SchuComic8P80.jpg | Page 57
File:SchuComic8P81.jpg | Page 58
File:SchuComic8P82.jpg | Page 59
File:SchuComic8P83.jpg | Page 60
File:SchuComic8P84.jpg | Page 61
File:SchuComic8P85.jpg | Page 62
File:SchuComic8P86.jpg | Page 63
File:SchuComic8P87.jpg | Page 64
File:SchuComic8P88.jpg | Page 65
File:SchuComic8P89.jpg | Page 66
File:SchuComic8P90.jpg | Page 67
File:SchuComic8P91.jpg | Page 68
File:SchuComic8P92.jpg | Page 69
File:SchuComic8P93.jpg | Page 70
File:SchuComic8P94.jpg | Page 71
File:SchuComic8P95.jpg | Page 72
File:SchuComic8P96.jpg | Page 73
File:SchuComic8P97.jpg | Page 74
File:SchuComic8P98.jpg | Page 75
File:SchuComic8P99.jpg | Page 76
File:SchuComic8P100.jpg | Page 77 (Ad)
File:SchuComic8P101.jpg | PSA (Revised)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="2019 Revisions" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:SchuComic8Page20edit.jpg | Page 20 (Revised)
File:SchuComic8Page37edit.jpg | Page 37 (Revised)
File:SchuComic8Page38edit.jpg | Page 38 (Revised)
File:SchuComic8Page39edit.jpg | Page 39 (Revised)
File:SchuComic8Page40edit.jpg | Page 40 (Revised)
File:SchuComic8Page41edit.jpg | Page 41 (Revised)
</gallery>
}}</center>

{{References}}

==External links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCjgNF0NTwQ Examining Sonichu & Rosechu Audiobook]
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cgmb4Z1hdYQHT25f_ZjjoyuFGAetC1x6/view?usp=sharing/ Download the CBR and read the comic the way god intended]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

User:MarcelDubois

2025-11-29T04:27:41Z

MarcelDubois: added infoboxes

Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym.

What am I doing here?

{{Mexicant}} {{White}} {{JERK}} {{Hex-Box}} {{Bisexual}}

User:MarcelDubois

2025-11-29T03:54:04Z

MarcelDubois: Created page with "Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym. What am I doing here?"

Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym.

What am I doing here?