CWCki - User contributions [en]

Mumble 6

2026-03-20T01:50:24Z

MarcelDubois: /* The Molvanîan Language, et al. */ yes yes my friend

'''Mumble 6''' is the sixth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 10 [[February 2009]].

Length: '''1:57:53'''

== Summary ==

* Chris has received a letter from [[Nintendo]] of America stating that he hasn't been in touch with [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Shigeru]] [[Miyamoto Saga|Miyamoto]]. The trolls try to convince him that the letter is fake.
* Chris gives more advice on whether Falsion's friend is a [[homo]] by suggesting he'll be drawn to posters of men more than those of women in the fan's bedroom.
* [[Julie]] probes Chris on why he dislikes [[homos]] so much. Chris flounders.
* Chris first made his [[medallion]] because he wanted to, before he ever drew any [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and wears it all the time because it's like a nametag. Might make one for Julie.
* Someone hacked [[Sonichu Girls|Sonichugirls.net]]. Julie is outraged.
* Chris doesn't hate all men, just the ones who are [[jerks]], which is the "majority of the male population." When called on it, admits he doesn't know how he knows that men are jerks without knowing them.
* Chris doesn't remember saying that [[hermaphrodite|transgender people]] should have surgery. Now says that they shouldn't. Confuses "[[Wikipedia:transgender|transgender]]" with "[[Wikipedia:intersex|intersex]]" and says that if he had a child with both organs he would raise it as a boy.
* If Chris was dating a girl and she turned out to have a [[pickle|penis]], he would freak out, throw up and dump her.
* [[Sonic]] replaced [[American Rabbit]] as Chris's favorite cartoon character.
* Chris's favorite soap opera is [[Wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|''The Young and the Restless'']]. He used to watch MTV's [[Wikipedia:Undressed|''Undressed'']].
* Chris feels as if his life is a soap opera, as he's had a lot of drama.
* Chris hasn't decided if there will be a Chris Chandler show. Everyone says it's a great idea.
* [[Wikipedia:Sonic 3D|''Sonic 3D'']] is Chris's favorite Sonic game.
* ''The Chris Chandler Show'' would be improvised with no commercial breaks. When [[Jack Thaddeus]] calls him on the show needing to make money, Chris says that he doesn't know how to make commercials.
* Chris never received the [[Wikipedia:Jet (magazine)|''Jet'']], [[Wikipedia:Ebony (magazine)|''Ebony'']] and [[Wikipedia:Vibe (magazine)|''Vibe'']] magazines that a troll called hottiee96 subscribed him to.
* Chris says he's irregular with comics because "It's called a life".
* [[Vivian Gee|Hamsty]] asks what Chris does, considering he has no job. Chris stalls, before saying that he can't describe his daily schedule on a whim at the moment and had better not say. He blames [[stress]].
* Chris says that he gets stressed and needs a day to recover. Fans point out the contradiction of drawing comics to relax and using stress as an excuse not to draw them. Chris says that he feels uncomfortable with the questions.
* Chris does [[Sonichu]]'s voice. It sounds like Chris, only slightly higher. Fans praise this fantastic rendition.
* Chris says that he would want [[Sonic the Hedgehog#Archie Comics|Archie Comics]] to publish Sonichu.
* There will be no lesbian relationships in Chris's comics, as he promotes heterosexuality.
* Chris obnoxiously cuts off a fan who asks about [[Nintendo]] and [[copyright]], saying "I don't know, I don't know, I'm not a business genius."
* They talk about anime and video games. Chris doesn't like the nudity in [[Wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Crayon Shin-chan'']] because dicks 'offend' him.
* Says that him drawing ''Sonichu'' with his [[duck]] out [[Chris and Hypocrisy|was different because he was wearing a condom]].
* Chris confirms that he ripped off the workings of Sonichu's penis from a line from Brian in ''[[Family Guy]]''.
* Chris does not like poo in a fetishistic sense.
* Chris can't remember why he mentioned his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] to Clyde.
* Chris is still trying to upload the Nintendo of America letter.
* The adult scenes in Sonichu are not "lost content", they are "removable deleted scenes" and the comic can be read with or without them. This is how he designed it.
* Chris will not undergo speech therapy because he had it when he was a child.
* Chris does a terrible high-pitched impersonation of someone with no front teeth.
* Chris cuts off a question about the [[PS3]] being the main console of the [[gay]] community, as he's bothered by it.
* CWCville's employment situation is discussed. Sonichu and [[Rosechu]]'s job is protecting [[CWCville]] and everything is free for them.
* Chris liked the [[Wikipedia:Spice Girls|Spice Girls]], but didn't have a favorite.
* CWCville was founded just by [[Bob]], shortly after Chris was born.
* Bob told Chris that Sonichu was viable as regards copyrighting. Chris has paid the [[Wikipedia:Library of Congress|Library of Congress]] $35 for copyright years ago and hasn't heard anything.
* Chris has uploaded the Nintendo of America letter. The fans deny that it's real and attempt to discredit it. Chris refuses to listen.
* Chris starts to leave, [[Clyde Cash]] enters. The HONEST and TRUE fans all decry this disgraceful human being.
* Clyde says that Julie is afraid of how her life with Chris will turn out, and that her parents will take her away. Chris protests that he's cleaned his room.
* Clyde says Chris needs to clean up his act to be with Julie, asks if he pays taxes. Chris says he's paid sales tax.
* Chris "pleads the fifth" when Clyde asks how much [[Money|credit card debt]] he has. When pressed, he admits to having almost $2,000 to offset his savings of $100.
* Chris says that if he decides he has to get a job when he and Julie are married, he will.
* Chris claims that he can cook "anything that's within his cookbook."
* Chris admits he was lying about looking for jobs he can do with his [[CADD]] degree, but he ''can'' start looking. Clyde calls him out on lying to Julie so much, and Chris whines about his "insultive tone."
* Julie says that she's read up on [[Chris and religion|Christianity]] and there's no premarital [[sex]]. Chris says that Methodists are allowed.
* Chris claims to cook for himself the majority of the week. Says he cooks a lot of things for himself. When pressed, he says vegetables, meats and soups, depending on shopping. His parents cook separately from him, as they live on a different floor.
* Chris says he will look for a job, depending on who's hiring. Will think about getting a job now.
* Chris's schedule currently varies from day to day, but he does a lot of creative things. Yesterday he cleaned his room.
* Julie says that drawing comics is currently Chris's job and he should work on it. Chris promises that he will.
* Chris says ''Ich bin schwul'' and leaves.
* [[BlueSpike]] and the others laugh about Chris admitting to being a [[homo]].

=== Transcript ===

==== Meet and Greet ====

[The various trolls greet Chris, talking over each other]

'''Julie:''' Heeey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Willkommen!

[sound of junk getting moved around]

'''Troll:''' Hello.

'''Troll:''' Morning!

'''Hamsty:''' Hey Chris!

'''Troll:''' Uhh- hello, Chris! What's up?

'''Troll:''' Hello! How're you doing?

'''Chris:''' [speaking in an effeminate voice] Hellloo...

'''Troll:''' Bonjour.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' So what are you up to tonight, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, nothing much, just uhh... takin' care of things.

'''Troll:''' Aww, that's good.

[Audio cuts out here for a moment. Presumably, the same thing happened in the chat.]

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?

'''Chris:''' [[BlueSpike|Julie]] bought me here. You asked for me to come and I so I did.

'''Troll:''' Did you... come for your fans at all?

'''Chris:''' Uhh, yeah I came for my fans.

'''Troll:''' Cool.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Matter of fact I have an update...

'''Troll:''' Oooh?

'''Troll:''' Ohh awesome!

'''Chris:''' But... well unfortunately yeah, it was in a video but it didn't get, uhh, processed quickly enough... I've just had to start re-uploading it.

'''Troll:''' Yeeeah... [[YouTube]]'s really slow at that... depending on what you use. It's a'right.

'''Troll:''' It's like... they need to invest their money more in technology.

==== Chris receives a letter ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Anyway, uhh, as I have already told Julie and [[Sarah May]], mm, I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Mr-

'''Chris:''' I have received a letter in the snail mail today from Nintendo of America's representative Mr. Mike Chandler- no relation- In response to what I have sent Nintendo of America previously. Anyway, it-it-it verifies my uh- families, my friends and uhh... my theory so that, uhh, and I quote, Mr [[Miyamoto Saga|Shigeru Miyamoto]] did not have a meeting scheduled with you, nor has he be- has he been corresponding with you. Mr Miyamoto speaks and writes only-

'''Troll:''' [Talking over Chris] I'll be right back.

'''Chris:''' [very annoyed] -very limited English...! ...and our game development teams do not accept unsolicited game suggestions or other ideas. Although Mr Miyamoto made occasional business trips to the U.S., he spends the majority of his time in Japan at Nintendo's headquarters. So, in short I've- I've actually been talking to... impostors.

[The trolls begin talking over each other at this point]

'''Troll:''' Well, you don't know if he's an impostor or not, I mean, I mean,

'''Troll:''' Oooooh...

'''Troll:''' You know...

'''Troll:''' I mean, look at that, it had your last name- it didn't really sound legit...

'''Troll:''' Hold on, guys hold on, hold on. Just lemme...

[''Brief silence'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it could have been intercepted by a troll because he did say that Mr. Miyamoto doesn't speak- speaks limited Jap- I mean, limited English, but... I've seen YouTube videos of him speaking a lot... urn... in English... and... I don't- I think that's a lie- that guy obviously doesn't know anything about Miyamoto.

'''Troll:''' You know, I- I've heard about stuff like this happening, you know, one of my cousins is in the business industry and he says with a lot of these big companies they get mix- things mixed up all the time. Maybe they were sending it to like- maybe they thought you were someone else, or they sent it to somebody who had the wrong address, you know, they can screw stuff up an awful lot.

'''Chris:''' Well anyways, it's an official letter from Nintendo of America, because uhh... the envelope, is-is-is-is just like the previous envelopes I've gotten from Nintendo of America, as well as the uh... letter head on the... letter. It's typed.

[The trolls talk over each other here. The general drift is: "It's easy to forge..."]

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] It was typed.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, it's easy to forge.

'''Chris:''' [''still annoyed''] It was typed.

[Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' [''yep, still annoyed''] [[autism|It was typed]].

[More Windows beeping in the background]

'''Chris:''' And-and-and it has a signature on there.

'''Troll:''' Just because it's typed and it has a signature on there doesn't mean it's real.

'''Troll:''' In fact, wouldn't typing it make it more easier to forge since it's not handwriting?

'''Troll:''' And a signature doesn't mean anything, I mean, you nev- I mean you don't know this guy and so... it's just somebody's signature.

'''Chris:''' Look, I'll tell y'all- look, I'll tell y'all what, I'll scan the envelope AND the letter and put it on the [[CWCipedia|Sonichu site]] [annoyed] LATER [pause; the trolls talk all at once] and y'all- and y'all- can fig- and y'all decide for yourselves from that.

'''Troll:''' We're tryin' to help you, Chris. We're trying to help you and do what's best for you...

'''Troll:''' We're trying to make sure nobody's trying to trick you.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' We're here to back you up.

[''silence'']

==== Games, etc. ====

'''Julie:''' Yeah. I can always play it on my [[PS3]], or my Nintendo Wii when I ever get one...

'''Troll:''' Never [[Hex Bawx]].

'''Julie:''' I hate the Hex Bawx.

'''Troll:''' I'm a PC player myself.

[''The trolls talk all at once for about ten seconds'']

'''Chris:''' I'm gonna go get the scanner and make it ready to scan.

[some trolls mutter back and forth, mostly silence]

[''long pause'']

'''Troll:''' ... [whisper] [[pickle|cocks]]!

[The trolls laugh; sound of things moving around and other noise in the background]

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something, Chris?

'''Various Trolls:''' He's uh, scanning. He's scanning things.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just got back with it and I'm... scanning it.

==== The Molvanîan Language, et al. ====

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris?

'''Troll:''' Excellent...!

'''Chris:''' Yeah Julie? [''Chris sounds uninterested'']

'''Julie:''' Can you do me a favor?

'''Chris:''' Sure, what?

'''Julie:''' Can you tell everyone what I taught you today- the new, uhh, [[Molvanîa]]n word?

'''Chris:''' Oooh- ooh. Yeah. Julie uhh... Julie is from Molvanîa... its uh neigh- its uh-it neighbors- it neighbors five countries such as [[Wikipedia:Germany|Germany]] and [[Wikipedia:Slovakia|Slovakia]]. [''pause''] Anyway, uhh, she taught me how to say "I love you" in Molvanîa.

[''A troll screams in entirely understandable horror, possibly comprehending what will occur next...'']

'''Chris:''' [[Homos|''Ich- Ich baan schwill'']]. [sic]

[Julie says something in the background, something about 'a'right now, okay, keep going']

'''Chris:''' Yeah I just pretty much said it. Ich baan schwill. [sic]

'''Julie:''' Ahh, a'right. I love you too!

'''Chris:''' Yep.

'''Troll:''' You have a gift for languages, Chris.

'''Troll:''' Really!

'''Troll:''' I can see why you pick up [[Spanish]].

'''Troll:''' First Spanish, and now Molvanîan. You're moving on up!

'''Chris:''' Well, right now basically I just have like a few... greetings. And the 'I love you' there.

'''Troll:''' Before you know it you might be speaking Japanese with Mr Miyamoto.

[''Chris seems to forget that, just minutes ago, he had decided that [[Miyamoto]] was an impostor and doesn't mention it.'']

'''Hamsty:''' Or French? [''she speaks a little French, but Chris just talks over the top of her'']

'''Chris:''' Well, uhh, I know a little bit of Japanese. Like... こんにちは (''konnichiwa''). [''awkward pause''] And さよなら (''sayonara'').

'''Hamsty:''' Do you know any French words?

[''More Windows beeping in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh... oui oui mon ami.

'''Hamsty:''' Ahh... mmm. I see.

'''Chris:''' ''Omelet du fromage.''

'''Hamsty:''' [forced giggle] That's uh, that's that's... very nice. Merci! Merci beaucoup... [''another giggle'']

'''Chris:''' Merci!

'''Hamsty:''' That means 'thank you'!

'''Chris:''' I know.

'''Hamsty:''' Okay, just making sure! [''another 'please don't [[rape]] me' giggle is squeezed out'']

==== Idle Chatter ====

'''Julie:''' So, uh, Chris. How are things?

'''Chris:''' Things are, uh well at home.

'''Julie:''' Awesome!

'''Chris:''' I'm safe and well, and I'm looking forward to you arriving, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Hmm!

[awkward silence]

'''Troll:''' Uhh, what happened last time? You were interrupted by... something.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what?
'Member last time you came? I don't know what happened, but you had to sign off for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I don't 'member that, that was like a long time ago... that was pretty much a long time ago at this point.

'''Troll:''' Uhh, never mind.

'''Troll:''' Yeah...

'''Troll:''' I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. [''snort'']

'''Hamsty:''' [''giggle'']

'''Troll:''' Well, it happens, it happens. Sometimes you can remember things from birth... and like, from, childhood years... and sometimes you can't remember things from last week!

'''Troll:''' [[Stress]] does influence memory, so it's understandable.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... I suffer from that... occasionally.

[''awkward pause'']

==== Movies ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, seen any good movies recently?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... good movies, good movies... I saw [[Saw|''Saw V'']]?

'''Troll:''' And how was that?

'''Julie:''' Oooh, and what did you think of it?

'''Chris:''' I thought it was- I thought it was neat and very interesting... I mean I saw the previous four... which I have on DVD. But I got ''Saw V'' on Blu-ray.

'''Troll:''' Sounds pretty crazy. Was it scary?

[''awkward pause'']

'''Troll:''' Were the special effects realistic enough to make it seem... scary... enough?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause'']

'''Troll:''' [[Mailbag 25#It's a trap!|It didn't have enough traps!]] That was my complaint.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I mean uh, I think uh, I think the scariest thing from that movie would be after that- after that guy removed his arm from the- from the saw, and it was like split down to the elbow. But you know-

'''Troll:''' I remember that.

'''Troll:''' Oh, wow!

'''Chris:''' But then- but then you realize from the behind the scenes footage that that actually was just a fake arm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, well, they wouldn't do that in real life because they would have to, like, pay a lot of people...

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean, like, the special effects they use nowadays is pretty impressive.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' The men were [[jerks]] in that movie, the saw vic- the jigsaw victims. I mean like they let that poor girl- uhh... that poor girl die at the beginning the trap...

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It's like they could- it's like they didn't- it's like, it's like they didn't know at the time they could have gotten away with all five of them alive at the front line through the whole... setup. But uh, still, you know, I mean, the whole setup they had going there... the girl... the woman actually had her head going through a hole in the wall, while there was a whole fake, empty neck on top of it.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... yeah. I just can't believe how much the men were [[jerks]] in that movie. They weren't... especially...

'''Julie:''' Yeah. That movie made me kinda mad...

'''Troll:''' Sexist!

'''Troll:''' Do you think they'll make a sixth... Saw movie?

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and his ego|Chris speaks as though he were a great authority on the matter]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yeah, I think they'll make a ''Saw VI'', I mean- I figured they... you figured they gave the role of [[Wikipedia:Jigsaw Killer|Jigsaw]] over to [[Wikipedia:Mark Hoffman (Saw)|Detective Hoffman]], so he could probably do something in the next one. Plus, I'm still wondering, what was the fate of the uh... doctor. You remember from [[Wikipedia:Saw (film)|the first ''Saw'']], that uh, that actually cut off his foot?

'''Hamsty:''' Mmm hmm!

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah...

'''Chris:''' Well, y-you find out that basically... you find out he's into crawling away. You find him doing that in Saw III. But yeah you don't see anything of him in ''Saw'' f-...four, except for that one time when they actually- they talk about that little piece of evidence that went against him in the first ''Saw''.

'''Hamsty:''' [coughs] Mmm. Excuse me.

'''Troll:''' Yeah... Uhh... I never really was into horror. What is it that, uh, makes horror movies so enjoyable?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I would say probably the, uh, story, and uh...

'''Julie:''' Oh hey Chris, can I ask a question?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' What's your favorite kind of movie?

'''Chris:''' Mmm- I mostly like, uh, romantic comedies.

'''Troll:''' Oh, those can be good. [''More Windows beeping'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah, they're fun. I've uh- I've uh- gone back to the [[wikipedia:List of Shuffle! episodes|Moonlight Confession episode]] of ''[[Shuffle!]]''. That's uh, that's episode 10.

'''Troll:''' I prefer animated movies myself, you know... Disney, Pixar...

'''Troll:''' So do I.

[''A soft, computer generated 'bong!' noise can be heard in the background'']

[''Hamsty gasps in the background'']

'''Troll:''' I just watched ''[[Wikipedia:Finding Nemo|Finding Nemo]]'' recently... just this weekend.

'''Chris:''' I liked ''Toy Story''.

'''Troll:''' That was a good one.

'''Troll:''' That is such a classic!

'''Troll:''' My friends and I quote that ALLL the time whenever we watch it.

'''Chris:''' To ef-fenity [sic] and beyond. [Chris gets the 'tone' of the catch-phrase completely, completely wrong; it sounds like some kind of [[Hello, Juffalo|deranged, toneless rap]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>

[''short, stunned silence'']

'''Troll:''' There's a snake in mah boot! I always liked that line.

'''Troll:''' I [inaudible] Oh, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, you were saying?

'''Troll:''' I was just saying, I have a toy [[pickle|Woody]], which when you pull the string he says "I have a snake in mah boots"...

'''Chris:''' <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[stress sigh]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> Yep, those were sold in the toy stores.

'''Troll:''' I- I remember in like... one of my favorite type of movies is, um, martial arts.

'''Chris:''' Oh. I saw [[wikipedia:Kung Fu Panda|''Kung Fu Panda'']] like, recently... on Blu-ray.

[''Possible audio cut here?'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. Like, name- name a-a couple.

'''Chris:''' Oh I just uh- okay yeah, I can remember another one. Mmm. [[wikipedia:Hard Boiled|''Hard Boiled'']]. I got the collector's edition version of [[wikipedia:Stranglehold (video game)|''Stranglehold'']] PlayStation 3. That was...

'''Troll:''' Hey, ''Hard Boiled''? Wasn't that a [[Wikipedia:John Woo|John Woo]] movie with [[Wikipedia:Chow Yun-fat|Chow Yun-fat]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' And he's like, "Oh man, I love that one!" and he's- and he's got, and he has a gunfight in the hospital- that's a really good one.

'''Chris:''' And I saw [[wikipedia:Kill Bill|''Kill Bill''s volume I and II]].

'''Troll:''' Oh those are pretty impressive! [pause] Also, um. Have you ever heard about the new [[wikipedia:Dragonball Evolution|Dragonball movie]] that's about to come out... in two months?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. No, uh, ye- no- ye- no I haven't. But I have heard- but I have, uh watched a bunch of Dragonball episodes. Uhh... [[wikipedia:Dragonball#Anime series|Dragonball, Dragonball Z, 'n Dragonball GT]]... and I have seen some of the movies. Oh- a-and I have also seen the orig- the, uh, the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter (film)|''Street Fighter'' Movie]]... a long time ago.

'''Troll:''' Ooooh I remember that one.

'''Chris:''' And I'm also looking forward to the one where they... the [[wikipedia:Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li|new ''Street Fighter'' movie]] that's coming out that's gonna be be [[Chris and English|surrounding]] [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

[''The trolls talk over each other at this point'']

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

'''Troll:''' Did you play [[wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|''Street Fighter IV''?]]

'''Troll:''' Ooh, Chun-Li was my favorite ''Street Fighter'' character... actually.

'''Chris:''' Me too.

[Julie and a troll talk over each other]

'''Julie:''' Oh wait-

'''Troll:''' -''reet Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Cuz Chris, I'm gonna get it and I wanna play against you...

'''Chris:''' What, ''Street Fighter IV''?

'''Julie:''' Yeah!

'''Chris:''' Yeah I was thinking about- yeah I-I was thinking about getting the collector's edition version... of that.

'''Julie:''' Mmm.

[''The generic sound of junk being moved around in the background; a slight pause'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, who's your favorite person to use in ''Street Fighter'', like who do you use the most?

'''Chris:''' [[wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]].

'''Julie:''' I also use [[wikipedia:Dan Hibiki|Dan]].

'''Troll:''' I use [[wikipedia:Cammy|Cammy]].

'''Chris:''' In [[Soul Calibur]] I use [[wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh. What a coincidence, I actually use [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cassandra|Cassandra]] a lot... um in um, ''Soul Calibur''.

'''Troll:''' I play [[Wikipedia:List of characters in the Soul series#Cervantes|Cervantes]]. I like play Cervantes... a lot.

'''Chris:''' You don't saaaaaay. Hmm.

==== Broken Wii, More Games ====

'''Troll:''' Hey Chris, I've got a question.

'''Chris:''' [[Megatron Gun|Shoot]].

'''Troll:''' Uhh- two days ago my Wii broke and I have to send it in for repairs, and it's not gonna be back for like two weeks... what should—what do you think I should do to fill that time slot until I get it back?

'''Chris:''' Umm... do what you're normally doing right now- like as if uhh... you're living- I mean, you're pretty much living with that right now, just continue on with that... until uhh... you get it back.

'''Troll:''' Thanks Chris, that's great advice.

[''The troll is very sarcastic. Chris [[autism|doesn't notice.]]'']

'''Chris:''' Simple, really! Not [[tobacky|rocket]] scEYEnce[sic].

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' You play any other [[CWCFighter|fighting games]]... or have any other fighting games?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I just mentioned [[Wikipedia:Soul Calibur|''S-Soul Calibur'']], just the [[Wikipedia:Street Fighter|''Street Fighter'']], [''inaudible'']... I-I also played [[Wikipedia:Tekken|''Tekken'']].

'''Troll:''' Anything else?

'''Troll:''' I played that.

'''Chris:''' And-and a little bit of [[Wikipedia:Mortal Kombat|''Mortal Kombat'']].

'''Troll:''' Oh. Have you ever played, uh. You had a [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]] before, right? Or do you still have one?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I still have my Dreamcast.

'''Troll:''' You ever played ''Powerstorm''?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've- I've played a demo of ''Powerstorm''. ''[[Wikipedia:Power Stone|Power Stone]]''.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah. Playing into that thing, uh- on your [[Wikipedia:Dreamcast|Dreamcast]], did you ever play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']]?

'''Chris:''' No.

==== Anime, more games ====

'''Julie:''' Aaa- Chris, can I ask you a question?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What do you think of the [[Wikipedia:EarthBound (series)|''Mother'' series]]?

'''Chris:''' ...mmm. Y- Oh yeah- you told me about your favorite song from there... uhh- I don't know much ab- I don't know- I do not know much about it, so...

'''Troll:''' Uhh- It's also known as ''Earthbound'' when it came out on-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah, oh yeah, ''Earthbound'', oh yeah,um, I mean I've heard- I may have heard about ''Earthbound''... oh yeah, that's right. I remember hearing that its Japanese name was ''Mother''... or it was also known as MOTH-A.

[''a stunned, confused silence settles over the trolls. Presumably there is an audio cut here.'']

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] Mmmmm. [''pause''] Uhh... uhh, I don't think so.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' You should play [[Wikipedia:Phantasy Star Online|''Phantasy Star Online'']].

'''Hamsty:''' What about [[Wikipedia:Free Realms|Free Realms]]?

'''Troll:''' Yeah the whole... the whole... fanchat was playing ''Phantasy Star Online'' for the past few days, it was fun.

[''The sound of some kind of tapping can be heard in the background; presumably this is Chris because there is a pause and he doesn't speak until the tapping stops.'']

[''Chris and Julie talk over each other, along with a burst of static'']

'''Julie:''' -lay with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh. I might consider that. [Chris doesn't sound sincere]

'''Troll:''' I mean, we could show you how to get set up and everything.

'''Chris:''' Uhh- I don't- yeah well, I don't, I mean- uhh... Not tonight. [''pause''] But I'll consider it.

'''Julie:''' Okay-

'''Troll:''' Oh, also, also, um, [''Julie begins to talk over the troll''] reading to the left-

'''Julie:''' I mean, Jaggy, [''Julie is very unclear here''] Sorry, could you let someone else, everyone Jaggy, I didn't mean to hurry up- I mean, Chris, you can actually be [[Sonic]], in it! It's awesome!

'''Troll:''' Yeah, actually I'm playing as [[Tails]]!

[''more clicking'']

'''Chris:''' [[Sammy|Duuhokay]]!

[''pause'']

==== Music and Computers ====

'''Troll:''' What do you think of [[the Beatles]]?

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' It's, uh, just an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion|HP Pavilion]].

'''Julie:''' What Operating System do you have, W-Windows XP?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Windosse [sic] XP.

'''Julie:''' How much [[Random Access Humor|RAM]] do you have?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I don't know how much RA- how much total... RAM I have, but uh... yeah... I've pretty much got my... got my memory capacity- fill it up with like... tracks from iTunes, [[sex tape|some videos]], and, uh, [[rule 34|images]].

[''Chris stupidly confuses the volatile Random Access Memory (or RAM) in a computer with permanent hard drive storage. This is from someone who, according to what he told [[Kacey]]'s father in the [[Father Call]], "...took a computer upgrading class where [he] put together a computer, a personal computer, from scratch."'']

[''stunned silence'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' Ohh. Ohh. [[Wikipedia:Central processing unit|CPU]] Speed...

'''Troll:''' Like, your- your hard disk space... is for gigabytes and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Well. I don't know what my- [stress sigh]

[''audio cut; volume is very muted and quiet when it comes back'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah... 'bout [[random-access humor|random-access memory]].

'''Troll:''' Also, um, [[Hamsty]] said, um, what-what do you think of the Beatles? [the troll has a noticeable echo]

'''Chris:''' Uhh, they're okay. I- [''pause''] I mean, [''static''] I mean, I've heard the Beatles, but it's not like I've formed a total... full opinion of them. But you know, they're okay.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

[pause; the sound of shit getting moved around and occasional quiet muttering is present in the background for almost twenty seconds here]

==== Identifying a Homo ====

'''Troll:''' Uhh, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Troll:''' You know that [[homo|friend]] that uh- you told me to get rid of? He sent me an e-mail... and he's saying uh- wait let me read it. This e-mail says, uh... "Dude, I'm not gay, your room is so small and there's nowhere to sit; 'course I sat next to you, how else- I mean, w-what else was I supposed to do?" Lemme skim over it... and then, at the end here, he says, uh, "Dude, get it through your fucking head as much as you possibly can; I AM STRAIGHT." What am I supposed to say to him? Is he- is he gay or what?

[''The occasional sound of typing was heard while the [[troll]] was talking; Chris obviously wasn't paying any attention and has, almost certainly, [[Chris and his Ego|completely forgotten about an event which didn't directly concern him]] ]

'''Chris:''' I- I'm sorry could you-, I'm sorry, so, he-he-he... he said that he was... straight?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, he's telling me that he only sat next to me because my room was so small.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''Chris has obviously forgotten'']

'''Troll:''' You know, the friend that thought I was [[Homos|gay]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah! Hmm. [''long pause''] Mmm.

'''Troll:''' I think he's lying, I think he's gay.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''Chris's voice rises to a [[speech impediment|high pitched squeak]], outshining even [[Julie]]''] Well there is one thing... y-y-there is a, uh... test you could figure out... uhh... you could fill out- uhh... do you have any posters in your room?

'''Troll:''' Uhh... wait, my room?

[''It sounds like Chris is [[obesity|eating something]] in the background, possibly with a wrapper. It's a little disgusting.'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Where y'all would... hang out.

'''Troll:''' Not really.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Okay, well, uh... fill half the- fill half your-, cover half of your [[room]] with- [the troll talks over Chris] with- with-

'''Troll:''' Oh you-you mean like a [[Sailor Moon]] poster? Yeah, I have one of those.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, lemme- [Chris sounds annoyed] let me finish. Cover half of your room with pic-uh, with posters of [[china|women]]. Half of your room with posters of women. You know, c- you know, could be [[anime]], bikinis, oooor... posters you pull out from a ''[[Playboy]]''.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, I-I have those, yeah.

'''Chris:''' And then uh, on the other half of your room fill them up with, uh... posters of... [[homos|guys]].[''pause''] And like uh, you know you could- [''the troll interrupts'']

'''Troll:''' I-I-I don't know about that man, I'm not gay.

'''Chris:''' I know, but you know you don't have to put- you don't have to... put them in, like, you know, their [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]], but you could use like war hero posters like, uh, like a c... poster. Something like that.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but anyway, uh-

'''Troll:''' But uh, [[Wikipedia:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare|''Call of Duty'']]'s not gay!

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] I know but, you know... [''pause''] yeah. But anyway uh, just go half your room in women posters and the other half of your room with uh... guy posters but uh- and then see which uh- which side of the room he leans towards. More.

'''Troll:''' But what if he really likes ''Call of Duty''? Does that mean he's gay? Urggh...

'''Chris:''' Maybe you could cover up the... title of the game if you wanted to, or uh j- or just like, fold it over. You know, just move the game title- but just like, you know, make sure you have the guy- just y'know. Just having the guy there and then... you know-

'''Troll:''' But it's a guy shooting stuff. That's awesome.

'''Chris:''' Yeah but to a h- a but to- when you think about it... if you, uh, think about it, like if you were trying to get into the mind of a... homo... person...? He would see that as something different. [''pause''] But anyway uhh-

'''Troll:''' Uhh- I think it's awesome, like... pictures of a guy like, in army gear and shit, like, and shooting people-

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah but- yeah but, uh, anyway, yeah, it just depends on his point of view and his perspective- but anyway, point is: [[Silvana|half women, half guys]], see which uh, side of the room he looks more towards. Or... leans towards. Or goes to.

'''Troll:''' Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but I-I I liked ''Call of Duty'', and like- posters of guys, like shooting s-things- I mean, I have a ''[[Wikipedia:Contra 4|Contra 4]]'' poster in my room, does that mean I'm- I'm gay?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no. I'm just uh-

'''Troll:''' Okay, cool.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, but like you know if you were to like uh, decorate your room, you would probably- you would likely put up more... posters of women than- posters- than have posters of... guys. W- So uh, when you think about that, uh yeah, that let's you- that reminds you that you're definitely straight if you put up more- up more posters of uh, women that's a good sign that you're straight. I have mo- I have more posters of women in my room.

==== Chris... I Wanna Take You To A Gay Bar ====

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' Can I ask you something?

'''Chris:''' Sure.

'''Julie:''' What is so wrong with [[homos]]? I mean, I-I know that you don't exactly like them, but... what's wrong with having just a few... homosexual buddies? They're not gonna... you know. They're, you know... good people. You should give 'em- you should give at least one a chance. You should- [''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, but uh yeah, but yeah... see uh, you know I'm going to... associate, and uh... and n-now I to respect them, but it's just like, you know- I don't want to get- I don't want to be... too close.

'''Julie:''' No, but you see it's- the thing is- they won't go near a straight man...! They can tell that you're straight! Don't worry, if you just give one a chance and try to be friends with them, maybe play some more... play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]''... maybe play some ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''... have some [[hanky panky|fun]], not try and- just don't... just- just try to have fun with them. Just try for me. Can you please do that? Just try for me?

'''Chris:''' Well, that depends if I ever... meet one.

'''Julie:''' Can you go to like... a social place?

'''Chris:''' Umm... well.

'''Julie:''' A-A dance club! What about... what about like a straight- like, an everything dance club... do you know what I mean?

'''Chris:''' Mmm... yeah, mmm... I tell you what. I might go to a dance club... uhh, after you- after you get here so that [[virgin with rage|I don't have to feel alone]].

'''Julie:''' A'right.

'''Chris:''' Okay. [''He sounds relieved that this particular conversation thread is mostly over'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' I have a question.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' M'kay.

==== The Medallion ====

'''Brit-Troll:''' Okay um, since I don't want to keep talking about gay men since that's not my thing, anyways this is about your [[medallion]] quest. Okay, uhh, anyways- anyways- what are the uh, the origins of your medallion, like when did you make it, is there any particular reason you wear it *all the time*, if you do, and if this is in any way related to your [[love quest]]? [''pause''] Yes, that's what I'm wondering as well.

'''Chris:''' [[Autism|I made it because I wanted to.]]

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' But-

'''Chris:''' Plus, plus, me wearing it all the time is like me wearing a name-tag but it's not like it has my... name... on the front.

'''Julie:''' Yes, but Chris he was asking why- WHY did you want to, is the question? [''pause''] You must have some motivation.

'''Chris:''' I didn't really have- I don't think I really have any motivation... as far as I can- as far as I can remember. Because that was, like, years ago.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Um like w-when exactly though Chris? Was this in, um, in [[2000]] when you first made [[Sonichu]], or when you uhh- first made [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]] in, uh, I believe [[2004]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, around 2004 or... [[2003]] I started drawing comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' W-Was that when you um... first made the medallion though? Cuz we've- we've seen you-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't... I don't remember *when* I made the medal...?

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' B-But-bu-bu-[''stammers incoherently''] but it definitely like- it definitely would have been like before I started drawing any comics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yes, yes.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Oh Chris, I have another question for you!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Two actually uhm, one... do you think you could make me a cool medallion like yours... when I get there?

'''Chris:''' I *might*.

'''Julie:''' Awesome. [''pause''] And uh, the other question- w-what happened to the [[Sonichu Girls]]?

'''Chris:''' Oh. I'm still talk- you know I st-still talk to [[Sarah May]], but uh... I just haven't been there much since, uh... since... [[Clyde Cash|Clyde]] or troll or whatever... hacked into my... Sonichu Girls account.

'''Julie:''' Ahh, I see. Wait- someone hacked into your Sonichu Girls account? That's awful!

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I can't believe some [[JERK]] would do that- that makes me so mad!

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Friends with Men ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Sarah... Sarah May... you can hear me on there, uh... you know you can hit me... set that back up. Whenever you can.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hey I was just wondering, uh- you know [[Robert Simmons V|Robert Simmons]]... is he your friend or what? I heard you know- you don't like to be [[JERK|friends with guys]], but... is he like a exception or what?

'''Chris:''' Mmm? Mmm- no, no.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' But he seems like really good friends with you though.

'''Julie:''' So we can, like, hate him or...?

'''Chris:''' No, no... I don't... hate him. Uhh... yeah, it's- he's more of a buddy.

'''Troll:''' So... he's like the only buddy as far as like guys go... right?

'''Chris:''' I've had uhh... a few buddies in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' Oooh, I thought you like hated guys or something... or-or didn't feel comfortable around them. Or something.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a combination.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but what about [[bob|Robert]]? I me-that's very interesting...

'''Chris:''' Wa-wa-wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. It's not necessarily th- it is NOT that I hate g- hate all men... I just the ones that are- that have- that are really... [[jerks]], which that'll be the majority of the male population.

[''The trolls talk over each other for nearly thirty seconds here, with occasional breaks'']

'''Troll:''' Isn't that sexist, Chris?

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' That's- that's... yeah That's kinda- that's kinda rough, Chris. It'd be kinda mean if someone said you liked- if [''inaudible''] fuck most 90% of all the population of something...

'''Troll:''' Very, very insensitive...

'''Troll:''' ...would die, or something...

'''Troll:''' ...not nice...

'''Troll:''' ...I mean, who-who would say that?

'''Chris:''' I have known a lot of jerks in my lifetime.

'''Troll:''' I mean, uh, I confess, we all have.

'''Troll:''' Yeah but how far have you really traveled to see that Ch-Chris have- like, you know, there's so many other places in the world that- where men can actually be nice.

'''Troll:''' I mean, but not nice in the [[It's UGH!|gay way]].

[''The trolls finally stop talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' [MASSIVE stress sigh] Yeah I... don't know how to answer those questions cuz... I never traveled around the world. This far-The farthest I've ever traveled was to California on airplane... [[Cole Smithey|to visit my half-]]

'''Troll:''' [''inaudible''] -a neat place!

[''the trolls talk over each other again'']

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should go on a road trip.

'''Troll:''' Chris!

'''Troll:''' The world's a pretty good guy, eh?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well-

'''Troll:''' I mean, I can understand... like, a jerk move would be like... say, you're a friend with some lady and then some guy comes and takes her away from you, like, even though he knows you're in a relationship with her, but, like, if-if like, y-you've never ever known these people before, I mean how is it more of a- h-how does it really make them a jerk if you've never really met them and they didn't even know you or... you know, haven't had the chance yet.

'''Chris:''' Ummm... not really sure.

[pause; soft beep in the background]

'''Troll:''' Oh.

==== On The Transgender Community ====

'''Cameron:''' Hmm. Oh, Chris- I. I have a question for you. Uhm... I recall asking you once, like a few... chats ago... if you ever thought about being a cyborg and... you said no... but you thought about being a girl, and, you know, you went on... [[Family Guy|signed a package God gave you]]. But theeen, towards the end, you said that um, transgender people... male-to-female to be specific- uh, you suggested that they should... actually go ahead and have the surgery... um, since they're taking the hormones and I'm just wondering... some transwomen don't really have a problem with that area, I'm just- curious why you would suggest that.

'''Chris:''' Ok what- okay what you're saying... it's not what- it's not what I sugge- I-I-I never said anything like, uh, anything about the trans-gender people, or... taking a- or taking any surgery or what like that. You might- you might be uh, be confusing that to, uh, to where, to where I said that... I'd sooner change my gender b- then, before I- before I became a homo.

[''It's obvious that Chris either forgot or chose to forget when he said this statement; unfortunately, that part of the chat is part of a previous mumble which hasn't been completely transcribed. At least, [[BlueSpike]] and Cameron are quite convinced it occurred; if anyone knows where Chris said that, feel free to link it in.'']

[''sound of typing in the background'']

'''Julie:''' Actually Chris, um... Cameron's right- I think you did say that.

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I don't remember.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Yeah we- we have a [[CWCki|record]], 'n... I just remember that.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, I mean, what do you think of [[hermaphrodite|trans-women]] in general? I mean- I know they're not sweetheart material, but... in general. Like, should they... go under the knife?

'''Chris:''' Um... [''long pause''] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh- with both sets of uh... genitals... I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.

'''Cameron:''' Reeeally. Well, f-first [sound of Windows beeping] of all, um, uhh, both sets or something like that is actually called inter-sexed- and it c- [''audio cut''] And uh... yeah, that's an old archaic term, Gecko-

'''Troll:''' I was wondering, uh-

'''Cameron:''' Oh go ahead, Falsion-

'''Chris:''' W-well either, well either way, transgender or hermaphrodite I'd raise them as a male.

'''Falsion:''' I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Chris-

'''Falsion:''' -when the child was born, couldn't you just like get an operation to have one set removed?

'''Cameron:''' I think it should be up to the child's choice eventually, I mean that does-

'''Chris:''' Yeah-

'''Falsion:''' Hold on, lemme talk for a second.

'''Cameron:''' Okay, go Falsion.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh... Chris, like, say if you were dating a girl... and it turned out [[Julie|she]] [[Sarah May|actually]] [[Vanessa Hudgens|had]] [[PandaHalo|a]] [[Blanca|penis]], what would you do? Cuz' I had- I had that happen to me once.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] I'd [[Chris Loses It|freak out]] and probably throw up.

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, you would throw up because-

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, me too, I-

'''Cameron:''' -your son was... transgender?

'''Chris:''' What? No no no no no no... I meant, if I was dating a [[troll|woman]], and I thought she was truly woman [sic], but then I found out she was a hermaphrodite or a trans-gender... then-

'''Cameron:''' But- but... but yoooou... said that you... support their decisions to do that... why would you... why would you like, you know-

'''Troll:''' Freak out.

'''Cameron:''' Freak out about it.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhhh...

'''Julie:''' Yeah c'mon, people can do that operation thing, they don't- they- they feel kind of... well, people feel kinda picked on when they just don't get dates because of [[pickle|that]]. [''pause''] And it makes people feel bad, Chris, it kind of does.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Uhgh. I'm sorry, it's... mmm.

'''Julie:''' It's- it's okay.

==== A Wild Kitty Appears! ====

[''pause'']

[''Four soft beeps; the first two and last are identical, the third appears to be a Skype noise. Horrific, tortured yowling can be heard.'']

'''Chris:''' Hi there sweety.

[''More beeps, more pained yowling'']

'''Chris:''' Excuse me. It's my cat. Excuse me. Hi sweety, what do you want? Are you hungry? Come on, I'll give you some food.

'''Julie:''' Can I talk to the kitty?

[''Sound like a large avalanche of junk'']

[''Even more pained yowling.'']

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Hi Lucy! There you go.

[''Hamsty giggles in the background; the general drift is 'it's okay, go on'.'']

'''Julie:''' Chris? [''pause''] Did [''inaudible''] log out?

'''Chris:''' I was talking to my cats.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' What kind of cats do you have?

[''pause'']

[''sound of typing'']

'''Julie:''' Kitty!

==== Return Of The Dickgirls ====

'''Falsion:''' So uh, about the things we were saying before; if you found out, like, you know, would you still love that person?

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''pause''] uhh. If I f-

'''Falsion:''' Like, if you had feelings for...

'''Chris:''' Umm... [''longer pause''] mmm. Hey [[Snorlax|Mum]], whatcha up to?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Oh, okay...

[''sound of mountains of junk, trash and rubbish being shuffled around'']

'''Snorlax:''' [''faint''] Somebody poop?

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] Yeeeah... Kitty did it already, I cleaned it up.

[''possibly someone muttering in the background'']

'''Chris:''' [''faint''] I did.

[''pause, moving of junk'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Right, so what was the question?

'''Julie:''' Wait, is that your mother? Can I talk to her?

'''Chris:''' Mmm, no she just left.

[''Julie, Falsion and Cameron talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' Aww, okay.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah Cogs said that- pretty much said it.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, to your left.

[''End talking over each other'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah so, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Like... if you loved someone- I mean, a girl and it turned out that [[Silvana|she had a penis]], would you still love her?

'''Chris:''' Ooooh yeah. Uhh, mmm. No, I'd pre- no, I'd pretty much uh... break it off, but you know-

'''Falsion:''' Not even friends?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, not even friends...?

'''Chris:''' I mean but uh, yeah but I mean, uh, yeah, I- I mean break up... relationship and go back to being [[friend zone|just friends]].

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Okay.

'''Cameron:''' Oooh, okay.

'''Julie:''' But Chris, looks don't always matter, shouldn't it be the [[BlueSpike|person itself]]? I mean-

'''Cameron:''' Really, yeah!

'''Julie:''' I mean, not, not what's on the outside but what's on the insi-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie'']- I-I said I'd still be friends with that person. [''Windows beeping'']

'''Julie:''' Yes well- yes, but why would you still break with them just 'cuz of that?

'''Chris:''' I don't mean- I meant... I meant, I meant, [[death threats|kill them]]- I meant, still be friends but... not be [[rule 34|romantic]].

[''pause'']

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Also, I was wondering, um- I watch a lot of television and I was wondering um- do you watch professional wrestling? I love it, my father loves it, and um-

'''Chris:''' Uhhhh... no, not- no, I don't watch it often. No.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, like, you don't watch WWE or um... the Ultimate Fighting Championship?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I don't.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' It just never really- it just never really interested me.

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Fail ====

[''The audio becomes extremely muted here'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, okay.

[''pause, sound of mouse clicks and typing in the background'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Also uhh, can you tell us, what's your favorite cartoon character?

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Uhh... who wants to know about it?

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Me and [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah well, when I heard, uh, it would be [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] I mean, you know but before him, I would say my hero would be [[The American Rabbit]].

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Oh, that's great.

[''Several trolls talk at once; due to the extreme quietness of the audio it is inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] -I mean, wait. Does that mean Sonic qualifies as like [''inaudible''] considering like you show... or, like, [''inaudible'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] I consider it the number one in most ways.

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] Yes but uh- that qualifies as a cartoon character if it's a video game... character.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yes but he was also in a cartoon though, he had uh [''inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' [''very faint''] I remember that too like, like, when I was a little kid [[wikipedia:The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog|The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog]]- that's a fun show.

'''Cameron:''' [''very faint''] Yeah. [''inaudible''] Um Chris, which show did you like- did you like the one with uh, like the one which was on Saturday mornings, or... did you like the one with uh, with the [''inaudible'']

[''Transcriber's note: Warning to listeners who may have their volume cranked to hear: the next speaker, presumably the person recording the conversation, has their volume at a normal level.'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] They were all [[wikipedia:Jaleel White|Steve Urkel]] as Sonic.

[''Jaleel White, most famous for his role as Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, also voiced the character of Sonic the Hedgehog and other characters for Sonic the Hedgehog media.'']

[''Chris's next reply is muted and quiet again'']

'''Chris:''' [''very faint''] Yeah, th- [''inaudible'']

==== Cartoon Heroes, Audio Volume Restored ====

[''From this point on, the audio is back to normal'']

'''Troll:''' [''LOUD''] D-did ya' like the one that had Sally, and-

[''Chris and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah, I liked the-

'''Troll:''' -Bonny, and other characters?

'''Chris:''' -Yeah- Yeah- I liked the [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|Saturday Morning]] better than the... [[wikipedia:Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog|weekday]].

[''Transcriber's note: There were two Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons showing at the time Chris was a kid. One was a shitty weekday serial which was basically slapstick comedy and [[random access humor]] while the other was a much more serious show. Surprisingly, Chris favored the serious show.'']

'''Falsion:''' I absolutely agree.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, that was a much better one.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah. It was on, um- I think it was called like... the first one was The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, the second was SatAM... then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic Underground|Sonic Underground]]-

[''Transcriber's note: SatAM is the nickname given to [[wikipedia:Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)|the serious Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon series.]]'']

'''Chris:''' -Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' -then there was [[wikipedia:Sonic X|Sonic X]].

==== Chris's Life as a Soap Opera ====

'''Troll:''' Here's a question, what's your favorite soap opera?

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, d-do you watch them?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I watch soap opera- yeah, I've watched soap operas... I'd say, I've watched more- I've watched most often [[wikipedia:The Young and the Restless|The Young and the Restless]].

'''Cameron:''' OooOOOOoooh.

'''Chris:''' A-And then- and then I also- [''Windows beeping''] during my teenage years I also watched [[wikipedia:Undressed|MTV's Undressed]].

'''Cameron:''' Hmm.

'''Falsion:''' I'm watching a soap opera.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, Chris- do you sometimes ever get the feeling that your life is kinda... a soap opera?

'''Chris:''' [''sounding annoyed''] Yees. Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. How so?

'''Chris:''' Just feels that- it just feels that way.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. The only thing-

'''Chris:''' You know, I get- I get a lot of [[trolls|drama]] in my lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ahh. Do you- do you think that making your videos just... feeds into that a bit more?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] A lot of things have been... [[obesity|fed]]... to my... lifetime.

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Chris:''' So it's like... well. A lot. A lot of stuff. Like, yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, you gotta keep doing what you do, you know, don't let the anyone get you down or anything.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Just... just like, the end of a [[Asperchu|very good story]], like, everybody's life has a happy ending. The heroes. It's like a very good story.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Cameron:''' Ooooh, hans-

'''Cameron:''' Ohh, really?

'''Falsion:''' Oh yeah- yeah- Hans here had a question here. He said- I he- I heard you're going to make a Chris Chandler show.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; Chris sounds annoyed''] That has- that has not been decided fully yet. Uhh, [[Vivian]] suggested it.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Julie:''' I think it's a great idea!

'''Various Trolls:''' Yeah! Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I would watch it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Like, if you did do that, would you do it on like a weekly basis or-

'''Chris:''' Yeah- yeah I'd say more of a-

'''Falsion:''' -like a daily, or like a monthly-

'''Chris:''' -I'd say more- I'd say more a weekly.

'''Troll:''' I'd watch it every time, I mean...

'''Falsion:''' How long would each show be?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I- obviously ten minutes, I mean, there's uh- that's a limit.

'''Falsion:''' Well you could divide it- [''Various trolls interject, Falsion shouts over them''] DIVIDE it into parts?

'''Julie:''' Yeah you should make it like half an hour, e-every week.

'''Chris:''' Uhgh...

'''Falsion:''' Like Sonic SatAM.

'''Chris:''' Yeah- I don't know. Uhh, that's for me to decide... eventually.

==== A Terrible Idea is Born====

'''Troll:''' Also like The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog you could- you should add a segment for the [[Zapina|children]], like, you know, like, "Ask Chris" or "Chris Says"-

[''Trolls talk over each other here, the general drift is to suggest names for the title.'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah like telling peo- telling kids not to do drugs and stuff like that.

'''Troll:''' [''static-y''] [[Megan|Sexual]] [[The Wallflower|harassment]] and all that.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Plus, will- [''audio cut'']

==== Rosechu-porn ====

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Julie:''' Just make an [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|eighteen-or-over section]] so we can all see the... comics-

'''Chris:''' [''talks over Julie''] Yeah I'll- I'll-

'''Julie:''' I'd love it.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'll eventually make one of those, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

[''Various trolls interject and try to talk, but Falsion wins'']

'''Falsion:''' -Chris. [''pause''] Yeah you know Chris, I heard something about a uh... [[homo|poke'boy]] magazine I reckon that'd be pretty cool to release, you know. With the uh- with the uh... photos, and pinups of the-of all the Sonichu... uhh- the Rosechu girls. That uh, that I think'd- [''Chris talks over Falsion''] it'd be kind of fun.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Yeah well for your information it's two syllables, Rose-Chu, not Rose-a-chu it's...

'''Falsion:''' Oh, okay. It's uh- it's uh-

'''Chris:''' [''quietly''] It's okay.

'''Falsion:''' It's west coast dialect.

==== Chris and Sonic Games ====

'''Cameron:''' I'm not sure if it's been asked before Chris, but do you prefer the 2D Sonic games or the 3D ones? Cuz' I like- I like the ones on the Genesis the best...

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Ahh. [''pause''] Mmm. I think I like 3D better.

'''Falsion:''' Hmm. [''pause''] In my opinion Sonic 3D was the best.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh, that one was pretty awesome.

'''Troll:''' Definitely.

'''Chris:''' That was the first- that was the first... 3D attempt at putting Sonic in 3D world, [''Chris slurs his words into an indecipherable mess''] anyway.

'''Troll:''' Actually, my favorite one was where you would take-

[''A troll tries to talk over the first, but the first starts again after a brief pause'']

'''Troll:''' My favorite one was where you would take Sonic and Knuckles and a- and latch Sonic 3 onto it, that was a great game.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

==== Back to the Show ====

'''Falsion:''' Also, um. I was wondering. If you were doing the show, would it be scripted or would it be like an improvisation, unscripted format? And would it have commercial... breaks?

'''Chris:''' Urgh... I would probably improvise, and [[Chris and Money|no commercial breaks]].

'''Falsion:''' O...kay.

[''silence'']

'''Cameron:''' Wait, wait. Commercial breaks... don't you understand how TV works?

[''various trolls talk over each other, Cameron wins'']

'''Cameron:''' How do you think they make money?

'''Chris:''' Yeah I know but uh... [''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Yeah you could actually make money!

'''Chris:''' Yeah well I'm not really sure how to do commercials on that note, so... I might just assume, uh...

'''Cameron:''' Or you could do it like [[wikipedia:Jimmy Kimmel|Jimmy Kimmel]], he does them on his show... live?

'''Falsion:''' You could just do your-

'''Troll:''' -yeah!-

'''Falsion:''' -own multiple cuts, then like, take a break in between them uh- and between like let some stress out, get everything organized-

'''Troll:''' -like the-

'''Falsion:''' -you know.

'''Troll:''' Put an ad commercial there, you in there... insurance [''very unclear''].

'''Troll:''' Or put in like some clips from your [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|DVD]] or something. Or put on songs, or-

[''Chris talks over the troll, but he keeps going.'']

'''Chris:''' Uhh no, I-I- [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -waiting music, or something like that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I'd have to th- I don't [''voice trails off''] know I'd have to... go think about.

'''Troll:''' Okay.

==== Magazines ====

'''Cameron:''' Oh Chris, um- you remember a troll by the name of, uh, hottie96 on YouTube?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... no I don't.

'''Cameron:''' Oh well you don't? Oh, okay. Well, she [''static''] posted a video... of someone who... sent you... um, [[niggo|African-American]] magazines.

'''Chris:''' Hm.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah. Uhh, someone... put-[''static''] uhh, subscribed you- to your subscription for Jet, Essence, and uh... Vibe. And I was wondering-

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Cameron:''' -if those actually ever showed up.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] None of them showed up.

'''Cameron:''' None of them? Oh, okay.

'''Troll:''' Ok good, because you know-

==== Daily Routine ====

'''Troll:''' Actually, I have a question.

[''pause'']

[''audio cut; the question is lost. Presumably, based on Chris's answer, it was about his daily routine.'']

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh; pause''] Yeah, it's- it varies, uh... you know, one day I'll be doing one thing, then next day I'll be doing something else, then some days I have to take a rest. Take- take days off.

'''Troll:''' Y-Yeah, I noticed that. It's like uh... it's like I can never tell like... w-what was it, I forgot what I was going to say.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] It's called a life.

'''Troll:''' Oh, Hamsty is saying... well, what do you do? You don't have a job.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' That was Hamsty and not me.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... sure. Um... [''pause''] I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

'''Troll:''' Hamsty is saying that you don't have a job, I mean, so you must have l-like a lot of free time so, you know, what do you do?

[''audio cut'']

'''Cameron:''' -me!

'''Chris:''' Oh. Mmm.

'''Troll:''' That's lucky.

'''Troll:''' Mmm hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah. Oh Chris, I have a question related-

'''Troll:''' Wait, let him answer.

'''Troll:''' Yes, I'm sorry.

'''Troll:''' Don't smother him like that.

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... [''pause''] Yeah I can't really describe my uh... daily schedule on a... whim. At the moment. [''soft 'pong!' in the background''] And uh... Yeah I'd rather not say.

'''Chris:''' I get stressed one day and then I have to ta- then I have to recover.

[''murmur of troll agreement'']

'''Troll:''' I understand Chris.

'''Falsion:''' I mean, you seem kinda busy all the time, I mean...

'''Troll:''' And if you're working on things you like all day, and usually that's how you relieve stress, if you get stressed from that- if you do that to relieve stress the next day, then how is that t-taking a day off?

'''Chris:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Uhhm... [''pause''] I don't know. I'm getting ti- these questions uh, I'm feeling uncomfortable with these questions.

==== Chris is Stressed, Moving On ====

'''Troll Chorus:''' Okay.

'''Troll:''' Hamsty has another question though. Since y- [''audio goes extremely quiet here, inaudible'']

[''Presumably, the question was about what Sonichu would sound like.'']

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I've always wondered what Sonichu sounded like...

'''Chris:''' Umm... lemme think about that.

[''Pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''Chris uses his 'Sonichu' voice, which is exactly identical to his normal voice, just a little less stressed''] Hey [[Rosechu|Rosey]], I'm gonna go take a swim!

[''shocked pause'']

[''Many trolls join in an approving chorus'']

'''Troll:''' Nice!

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's pretty cool.

[''Many, many voices, too numerous to make out']

'''Troll:''' Really bad-arse.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Troll:''' ...bad, bad, bad...

==== Comics Questions ====

'''Troll:''' So Chris, Chris I had a question- kinda related to the comics. If you could have any, like, major big time company... publish it... uh, who would it be? Like uhh, you know, DC, or Marvel, or someone like that. Would you-

'''Chris:''' uhh-

'''Troll:''' -mind putting it out.

'''Chris:''' -I'd say probably Archie comics.

'''Troll:''' Oh nice, sticking with the classics.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Yeah, they did the uh, Sonic comics.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Oh uhh, Chris- um. Cogs had a question, I'll read it... um. Are your comics going to feature any lesbian relationships?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... I don't think so.

'''Cameron:''' Oh? How come?
[[Image:Homobad.jpg|thumb|''I'm promoting being straight.'' -- Christian Weston Chandler.]]
'''Chris:''' I'm promoting being straight... for one thing.

'''Cameron:''' Mm hmm!

'''Falsion:''' Ooooh, we thought you were okay with like, lesbians and stuff.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah, wi.

'''Chris:''' Well, I mean... I might, I might not I don't know- it just... it's a f- it's an, uh, future thing so... it's uncertain at the moment.

'''Cameron:''' Mmmmmm...

'''Falsion:''' Ahh. O-One thing, you said you wanted the game to go, like, multi-platform between... Nintendo and like the PlayStation, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Well, what I'm confused about isn't- isn't Pokemon like a trademark of Nintendo? How would that work out? There would be a lot of copyright...

'''Chris:''' [''Chris's voice is shrill and hysterical''] I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW, I'm not a business... genius. I don't know. I'm not a business genius.

'''Falsion:''' I was just asking.

[''pause, loud sound of typing in the background'']

'''Chris:''' Uhhm... yeah, I don't yeah I don't- yeah... it's I-it's only a possibility, just a random- just a random idea I had. It's just like- yeah.

[''pause'']

==== Sailor Moon ====

'''Troll:''' Chris, I've just remembered something. Uhh- I- you're good- you're a pretty- you're a pretty big Sailor Moon fan, weren't there some lesbians in Sailor Moon?

'''Chris:''' [''pause''] You're thinking of... Sailor Neptune and Uranus. [''Chris uses the other pronunciation of Uranus, [[homos#Fear of being a homo|probably to avoid that whole 'Your Anus' thing.]]'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah!

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Cameron:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I thought what they had was pretty special, I mean, you could do something like that.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I'm not sure about that.

[''pause'']

'''Troll:''' Oh, speaking of Sailor Moon, who's your favorite Sailor Scout?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Oh, um, by the way, speaking of Sailor Moon, what's your favorite Sailor Scout- if you don't mind me asking.

'''Chris:''' Sorry, what was the question?

'''Falsion:''' Who is your favorite Sailor Scout, out of the whole group?

'''Troll:''' Sailor Jupiter for me.

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

'''Falsion:''' Mine is, um-

[''Chris and Falsion answer at the same time'']

'''Chris:''' I like Mercury.

'''Falsion:''' -Mercury.

'''Troll:''' Oh yeah, she was hot.

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' I liked Chibi-moon.

'''Cameron:''' I liked Sailor Saturn.

'''Troll:''' I haven't got the opportunity to watch that show since it was on-

[''audio cut'']

==== Other Cartoons ====

'''Troll:''' Have you seen [[wikipedia:InuYasha|Inu Yasha]]?

'''Chris:''' Yah.

'''Troll:''' What do you- what did ya' think of it?

'''Chris:''' Good show.

'''Troll:''' Cool, cool. What's your favorite character?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' I'd say [[wikipedia:List_of_InuYasha_characters#Protagonists|Kagome]].

'''Troll:''' What about- umm, what's some other stuff on... you watch Adult Swim, right? Have you seen [[wikipedia:Code Geass|Code Geese]] [sic]? I think that's what it...

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Code GEASS.

'''Troll:''' Yeah yeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I've seen that.

'''Cameron:''' Noodle people!

'''Troll:''' What do you- what do you think of uh, you know uh, you know any characters you like..?

'''Chris:''' Uhh... C- I haven't really gotten into that- gotten really fully into it yet. I mean I watched the bi-

'''Troll:''' -yeah-

'''Chris:''' I mean I started watching it when I... got into Adult Swim because I saw, uh, a Japanese PSP game... that had- that was, uh, had like- had that- those- uh- that was of Code Geass, but uh... and the guy- and the guy- that reminded me of... Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Yo!.

'''Troll:''' Uhh Chris, since I've noticed you like anime and also romantic ones could I recommend like two anime for you, by any chance?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] ...Yeah, sure.

'''Troll:''' A'right, I've got your Skype right here, so I can... I'll PM- I'll PM you the links even? Like, one's called, '[[wikipedia:Higurashi no Naku Koro ni|When They Cry]]' and the other's called '[[wikipedia:List of School Days episodes|School Days]]', which I think you might like most. [''Transcriber's note: Chris is HIGHLY unlikely to enjoy either of these, except for the fact there's a lot of women in them.'']

'''Chris:''' I'll see.

'''Troll:''' Uhrm- Hang on, I'll get you the links. Also-

[''audio cut'']

==== All About Cocks ====

'''Chris:''' -uhh, Super Nintendo and the GameCube. [''pause''] I dunno, for the Super Nintendo I'd like uh... [''pause''] mmm.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Hey Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' When it comes to Anime, do you like girls who are kind of... more-more of a sweet, you know, kind, soft hearted disposition or do you like them to be [[CWCFighter|strong fighters]]?

'''Chris:''' Mmm. I like both, actually. [''pause''] But I think I'm uh more into the- I think I'm... like, you know, if I could put, you know, [[Silvana|half-half]].

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um. Also, on [[Adult Swim]], you ever watch an Anime called- um [[wikipedia:Crayon Shin-chan|''Shin Chan]]''.

'''Chris:''' Oh, Shin-Chan.

'''Falsion:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' Mmm. Yeah I mean it's uh, it's okay, but I don't care much for uh... the [[nudes|nudie]] parts. I don't care- I don't care much for [[Speech impediment|dem]] [sic].

[''Another troll talks over Cameron, but his voice is more audible'']

'''Cameron:''' Why don't you like the nude parts, you have a problem with the... human body?

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm.

[''Cameron and the troll talk over each other'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean you [[Sonichu 8|draw it in your comics]] so you must have plenty to say-

'''Cameron:''' [''singing''] You must have hooonor- honooor honor and a peeeenis...

[''silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mmm. [''pause''] Yeah I don't like look'n- yeah I just don't like looking at- I-I just- dicks offend me.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. I see. Um, ever seen [[wikipedia:Case Closed|Case Closed]]?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' Uhh. [''pause''] Uhh Chris, remember that one time you drew uhh, [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu with his penis out]]? Were you offended by that or what?

'''Chris:''' I drew it with a condom.

'''Falsion:''' Oh.

'''Chris:''' I- I never drew it-

'''Falsion:''' Oh, with a condom it's okay, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Cameron:''' Large difference.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' I- I'm sorry man, I'm sorry.

'''Cameron:''' So... how exactly does Sonichu's penis work? It- it slides out...?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Falsion:''' We went through this in the comic, though... You should read the comic.

[''the trolls shout over each other'']

'''Troll Chorus:''' Yeah!

'''Cameron:''' I still don't understand it, kind of.

'''Falsion:''' You must be illiterate, then.

'''Chris:''' Bueh he-[''sic''] First he has to get stiff, and den [''sic''] he has to lean forward to make it come out. I got the idea from-

'''Cameron:''' I don't really me-

'''Chris:''' -I got the idea from the line where he says [[wikipedia:And the Wiener Is...|"Hey, mine goes inside me when I stand up, how do you think I feel?"]]

[''the trolls talk over each other; all dialog inaudible'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, Hamsty had a question.

'''Troll:''' Yes. Hamsty asked, "Are you into poop, Chris? Cuz that's a kink-"

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' -Cuz that's kinky, I remember you said you had on... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|crapped briefs]].

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Yeah. I don't like poo.

'''Troll:''' No-one does.

'''Falsion:''' Only [[Christian Weston Chandler|sick weirdos]] like poop.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I know I don't.

'''Falsion:''' I won't say much then.

'''Chris:''' What?

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, we were talking to Clyde.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well I had- well I had up some [[vivitheg's aim chat|cat poo]] now and then, 'n... [''pause''] Uhh-

'''Falsion:''' -did you get a boner?

'''Chris:''' I was trying, I was trying- nnn. What?

[''pause'']

====On DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS====

'''Falsion:''' Okay, um. Remember [[DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS#Transcript|that time]] you were arguing with Clyde, 'n... you said you had like, [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty crapped briefs]]? Like, why did you say that to him? [''pause''] I'm kinda confused by that.

'''Chris:''' I don't know, I was uh- I don't know, he-he caught- I don't know, I was, I was... I don't know why I said it.

'''Falsion:''' Oh. Oh, oh, I- [''Falsion and a troll talk over each other''] remember what happened now.

'''Troll:''' -Yeah, you said you had dirty, crapped briefs. I remember, cuz-cuz he was, he was, calling you on the uhh- um, on- on the um, on the [[nudes|women's underwear thing]]. That's right.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, yeah yeah yeah. That's right. [''pause''] Cuz-

[''The trolls talk over each other'']

'''Brit-Troll:''' No, he was talking about, um, mm. About Chris's... [[barb|mother's]] underwear. And Chris, you said bra and panties were considered underwear, and underwear is a type of clothing, and uh brief [sic] and boxer equals clothing as well.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Falsion:''' I mean, that was a pretty good comeback there I just wanna know what... motivated it.

'''Chris:''' I don't remember.

'''Brit-Troll:''' Uhh yes, Clyde can be... Clyde can be an arsehole.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Falsion:''' Yeah, I-I used that once, someone was like- talking crap to me and I told him that and he like, backed away. So yeah, it was a good comeback.

'''Chris:''' [''quiet''] Uhg.

'''Troll:''' I see, um. [''pause'']

[''audio cut'']

'''Chris:''' I dunno, uh... I might. I might.

'''Troll:''' I'm a cat- I'm a cat person too.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I love cats!-

'''Julie:''' [''high pitched screeching''] MEOW!

'''Brit-Troll:''' -I have one.

'''Cameron:''' [''wistfully''] I'd love to have one some day.

'''Falsion:''' I wish I had one. My mother wouldn't let me.

'''Cameron:''' Mmm. It's- [''inaudible'']-in my apartment to have one.

'''Falsion:''' Oh, she just- she's just allergic.

'''Troll:''' I had another question, uhh- I remember when like, Clyde was showing off that Rabbichoso thing... and you were like, it's a site for ventilation cracks- where do you come up with that? That's so good.

[''Presumably, this is from a Mumble chat that has not been transcribed yet. I could find no record of what the troll is blabbering about.'']

'''Chris:''' [''skeptical''] Ventilation cracks?

'''Troll:''' Yeah, you said his drawing-

'''Brit-Troll:''' -yeah, what does that mean?-

'''Troll:''' -was like a site for a ventilation cracks.

'''Chris:''' [''high pitched, defensive''] I never said that!

'''Falsion:''' That was an awesome comeback.

'''Troll:''' Yes you did.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] I don't remember saying ventilat- I said that- I said that... I said that was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oooooh.

'''Falsion:''' Ohh, even better diss.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I said it was crap.

'''Troll:''' Oh, okay.

'''Chris:''' A'right.

[''pause'']

====Lightening the Mood====

'''Matthew Devoria:''' Hmm. [''pause''] Maybe we should lighten things up a bit. Uhh- Is there anything you [''sudden voice change, voice now quite high pitched''] want to talk about, Chris?

'''Troll:''' Yes.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Nothing... right at the moment, I mean, I'm... trying to get logged in so I can upload the uh... scanned... letter. [''pause''] So y'all can... read it for yourselves.

'''Matthew Devoria:''' [''faint''] Did you get- [''audio cut'']

'''Troll:''' Yeeah.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. Yeah, I'll do- I'll do that eventually. [''pause''] Y'know, soon enough.

[''The trolls all talk over each other, encouraging him to upload it.'']

'''Troll:''' Wait, Chris is trying to talk!

'''Chris:''' Uh, those uh, ju-for your information they are not lost episodes, they are just removable deleted scenes. You know, they can work one way with them or one way with- or another way without 'em. It's just the way I designed it. [''pause''] Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, Rosie has a question she typed, she's wondering if you were considering undergoing speech therapy because you seem to have pronouncin-, trouble pronouncing uh, 'th', and all that stuff.

'''Chris:''' I took speech therapy during my early childhood years.

'''Cameron:''' Hmm

'''Brit-Troll:''' Oh me too! I had- I have- I still have troubles pronouncing 'r' words and then-then they just told me it was like a problem with my jaw.

'''Chris:''' Hmm.

'''Troll:''' Also, um, I had a younger brother, true story, that, he couldn't pronounce certain words when he was in kindergarten so yellow he couldn't do y sounds, he was like, 'lellow'. But, going through speech therapy, he's actually overcome it. He's actually a very impressive linguist now.

'''Chris:''' Oh, well that's good. You know I can imitate somebody who doesn't have their two front teeth even though I do have my two front teeth?

'''Troll:''' Oh. Could we hear?

'''Chris:''' [''soul-crushing imitation''] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! My two front teeth! All I want for Chwiss-mathh itth my two fwont teeth!

[''trolls start out giggling, devolving into guffaws'']

'''Troll:''' That was hilarious.

'''Chris:''' Yeah that's Spike Jones' classic. That you hear every Christmas.

'''Troll:''' It is a classic.

'''Cameron:''' Okay but uh, there's two questions on the side, from Monsieur Parfait: Hey Chris! What are you feelings on the PS3 being the main pick for the gay community and gay online gaming community, using PSN as their main social network-

'''Chris:''' Ok, you can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me. You can stop right there 'cause you're bothering me.

'''Troll:''' We'll toss that question out. Let's move on.

===Communism===

'''Cameron:''' Hamsty wants to know what you think of China. I guess he means the country, so...

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a good country.

'''Troll:''' You like Chinese food?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright.

'''Troll 2:''' So wait, you're saying that communism is good? That's not very American of you.

'''Troll:''' No, that's not-

'''Chris:''' Wait, wait what?

[Chris and Troll 2 talk over each other]

'''Troll 2:''' Communism-

'''Chris:''' Food.

'''Troll 2:''' No, you sai-no you were asked what you think of China. You said you thought it was good. So you're saying that communism is good?

'''Chris:''' What-no. I did not say that. I just said that the country was good.

'''Troll 2:''' Yeah- that-

'''Brit-Troll:''' The country isn't that same as its government, though.

'''Troll 2:''' No, yes it is, yes it is! They support the communist-

'''Troll:''' Oh you be quiet.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, you be quiet, he's had enough.

===Cwcville Work Force===

'''Troll:''' I was just wondering one thing about uh Cwcville, um, do the people in Cwcville have to work or do they get money from the government?

'''Chris:''' S- yes, it's pretty much like real life, some work, some don't some get eh- you know it's just like- basically real life. Matching there.

'''Troll:''' Oh, so like, everyone has to like, work and stuff?

'''Chris:''' Yeah. [''pause''] Dude I got the images up, I just uh, put up the link there.

[''trolls respond approvingly'']

'''Troll:''' Sonichu and Rosechu, do they have a job? Do they have a job or what, because I never like see 'em working in the comic, I'm kinda confused.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] Well, it's just like a whole- hmm, there's too many details to figure out there so just- you could just assume that you know there are so many tall buildings, so many office buildings, so many stores and all that, you could assume that a lot- that most everybody is working.

'''Troll:''' So what like, what's Sonichu's job?

'''Chris:''' What?

'''Troll:''' What's uh, Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Oh. Well shoot he's uh...[''pause''] Well, he protects Cwcville, for one thing.

'''Troll:''' Does he get paid for it?

'''Chris:''' Yeah, I pretty much give him- give him his own privileges.

'''Troll:''' Oh so like everything is free for him?

'''Troll:''' Isn't that an abuse of power? You were democratically elected weren't you?

'''Troll:''' Ok, you need to shut up, really.

'''Troll:''' Someone kick out Crass.

'''Troll:''' Crass, you're acting like an asshole.

'''Troll:''' Chris, I kicked him.

'''Chris:''' Good. Yeah,he was be- he was being very annoying.

'''Troll:''' He has an annoying voice, too.

'''Troll:''' He's also gay.

'''Troll:''' Yeah he's a homo.

[''huffing into mic'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah anyway.

'''Troll:''' So what about Rosechu, does she work?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I haven't really thought about- uh, nah- nah- I'd say- nah- she's got same-no. She's got privileges too.

'''Troll:''' Oh, that's cool.

'''Chris:''' But you know its like I couldn't- it's not like I couldn't offer her like a, job or something, I just never really thought about giving the hedgehogs anything-a job- giving the hedgehogs jobs.[troll talks over Chris] Just never came up.

'''Troll:''' Yeah, I'm just saying, they always seem to be like, you know, on their like, time off, or like having- on spring breaks and stuff, I just wondered if any of the characters like worked, or what.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. I never really thought about them having jobs. I just-

'''Brit-Troll:''' Well, in a way, their job is to protect Cwcville and, and when they do i bet its really hard and they need all they can-

'''Troll:''' Oh, they all protect Cwcville?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I thought it was just Sonichu's job.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

===More Anime Suggestions===

'''Troll:''' Alright, uh, anyone else have any questions?

'''Logan:''' Uh, yes, uh did you happen to get my uh, pm, Chris? On Skype?

'''Chris:''' Um, uh, are you Logan?

'''Logan:''' Yes, that's me.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I got them.

'''Logan:''' Alright.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' Uh, just download that later of your own free leisure.

'''Chris:''' Ok.

'''Logan:''' It's a highly recommended one. It's what...Julie got me into a little while back.

'''Chris:''' [''annoyed''] Oh. I see.

'''Logan:''' Mm-hmm.

'''Troll:''' Yeah it's, it's made by sonic game, actually.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should really play with us.

'''Chris:''' Uh, what on your uh, your PS online thing?

'''Julie:''' No um, Phantasy Star Online, yeah, you should play with us.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, Ph- oh- yeah I'll think about that. Oh yeah I just- yeah I was just- yeah I was just uh...uh yeah, uh Logan you were talking about the one your anime was uh, it's out- dynas-destiny?

'''Logan:''' Uh no it's uh, there's two I was trying to make you watch, uh, one is called [[wikipedia:Higurashi When They Cry|When They Cry]] and the other is-

'''Chris:''' Oh yeah. Yeah I see that. Alright well yeah I'll just- yeah well I'll just download the torrents and all. Download them- from the torrents. Later on. I have uh- I have- I have the uh, I have a- Limewire.

'''Troll:''' Oh I- yeah, I use that too, every now and then.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===Spice Girls===

'''Troll:''' Also um, Monsieur Parfait also asked you um, uh who was your favorite Spice Girl, Christian, and why?

'''Chris:''' Spice Girl. Uh, I'm not really sure. But I do- But I do- But I ''did'' like Spice Girls. I just never really thought of which one was my favorite.

'''Brit-Troll:''' I liked Emma, Baby Spice.

'''Troll:''' I liked Scary Spice 'cause she's scary.

'''Troll:''' I liked Sporty, she seemed pretty nice.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

[''pause'']

'''Chris:''' [''uninterested''] Yeah.

[''pause'']

===The History of Cwcville===

'''Troll:''' So Chris, when was Cwcville founded?

'''Chris:''' Hmm...I've gi- I gave that some thought, I just uh, haven't uh, made it official yet. But mmm...yeah I- yeah I figure that uh, for the origin story of Cwcville, basically it was founded by my father. And he named it- and he named it after- me, cause I was just born. Cause I woulda just been born.

'''Troll:''' And it would be like, your legacy and stuff.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' So it would be born in- so it would have been founded in...1982?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

===On Copyrights===

'''Troll:''' Oh that's pretty neat. Um, Chris, I was wondering, um, do you remember um, people were talking about like, you- you say you copyrighted Sonichu around the year 2000, and um people were um say-, people were otherwise claiming that um, maybe you didn't have it copyrighted, maybe that it's not in the database but, I was wondering, to prove them wrong, can you show us the copyright? [wheedling] Can you show us your copyright for Sonichu?

'''Chris:''' Oh...what are you talking about, like uh, papers and such?

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Chris:''' Mostly- yeah well mostly I just did like uh, what my father told me-what my father told me was viable, little c-in-a circle.

'''Troll:''' Uh, the, instant one. Well, there's also um, registered copyrights or um-[''Chris interrupts'']

'''Chris:''' Yeah well- yeah well actually I did pay 35 bucks to uh...[talking to himself] hang on I got you on book mark...uh, shoot- Oh yeah, to the Library of Congress, I paid them 35 bucks for- for a copyright on that but I haven't heard any- I haven't heard anything back from them.

'''Troll:''' Oh, w-when did that happen?

'''Chris:''' Years ago.

'''Troll:''' Oh, I see.

'''Troll:''' You know, you should try to get a new copyright, maybe they'll listen this time.

'''Troll:''' Or, what you can do is um, go to um, copyrights.gov, that's actually where I had them copyright a patent one time.

'''Chris:''' I see, hmm.

'''Troll:''' The rate's like 45 dollars now, but I mean, an extra ten bucks, I don't think it would hurt.

'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I'll consider that.

'''Troll:''' I mean there's rumors that Clyde might be able to forge uh, forge documents to get it copyrighted before you, maybe you should get on that. I mean I-

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh, pause] Well anyway uh, importantly did uh, y'all see the letter I've uploaded.

'''Troll:''' Yeah that's right.

[audio skipping, windows beeping, long pause]

'''Troll:''' I've been wondering, what does Cwc cola taste like?

'''Troll:''' Actually, this doesn't look real at all. I mean uh, Nintendo Of America, Incorporated, aren't they called uh- wait, wait a second hold on-

'''Chris:''' Yeah, yeah it's Nintendo of America, ''Inc''

'''Troll:''' Hmm

'''Troll:''' I don't know, this doesn't look- legit for some reason.

'''Chris:''' I mean look at the letterhead!

'''Troll:''' It's easy to fake a letterhead though, you know.

'''Troll:''' Yeah you can even buy one of those.

'''Troll:''' I mean I could copy and paste and put that into, you know, a word template or something like that.

'''Chris:''' No, that's a real signature.

'''Troll:''' What people can do is like, sometimes they just plain take the signature from another paper and they can put it on anything else and s-

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I mean like, ok it's been like, it's actually serious offenses as well, it's like, people are copyrighting um, signatures, it's like identity theft.

'''Troll:''' Yeah.

'''Troll:''' I'll tell you what I'll do, Chris. One of my other cousins is a uh, he's a forensics analysis...guy. He uh, he reads like, notes people leave at the scene of a crime or letters from criminal cases and he can tell when something's fake or, someone like, you know, there was a case one time when someone murdered someone, and they forged a suicide note but they took [it to] him and he read it and looked to make sure that it was actually, you know, they wanted to see whether or not it was real, and he can spot a fake like, you know, like nothing.

'''Chris:''' All right well you do what you want.

'''Troll:''' Ok.

===A Wild Clyde Appears!===

'''Chris:''' All right well- all right well it's been fun but uh, I'm gonna head home now, I should get something to eat and uh-

'''Julie:''' Uh oh, Chris.

'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie?

'''Julie:''' He's here...

[''trolls groan'']

'''Chris:''' Well then it's a good time to...

'''Clyde:''' Well, wait! What do you say to one last showdown?

'''Troll:''' We don't even want you in here Clyde, what are you doing here?

'''Clyde:''' [says something about Julie] She might not admit, but she's worried for the future with you.

'''Troll:''' [super dramatic voice] Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!

'''Troll:''' Wow, that's gonna threaten him.

'''Clyde:''' C'mon Julie, admit it.

'''Chris:''' Hey Clyde, you can lay off-

'''Julie:''' I talked to him, but that's it.

'''Troll:''' Clyde, you're worthless [unintelligible]

'''Troll:''' Clyde you are an asshole.

'''Chris:''' Everybody pipe down. Everybody pipe down.

'''Troll:''' Fuck you Clyde.

'''Chris:''' Clyde, I talked to Vivian. And everything's o- and everything's okay. You can lay off.

'''Clyde:''' No, I refuse to lay off. '''Forget''' whatever the '''bitch''' says! Alright? 'Cause '''I've''' been talking with Julie, and '''she's''' gonna have a miserable life if she '''goes''' with you. '''I've''' been talking to her '''goddamn''' parents, and they're gonna fucking take her away. [pause] Tell me Chris...

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you can, Clyde, just lay off- we- I know that Vivian-

'''Clyde:''' Julie I- Julie- come on-

'''Chris:''' -I know that Vivian has asked you to uh, just to try to pick on- to pick on me to get me to clean up my room and I did clean up my room. I got- I held up my end of the bargain so why don't you just leave us alone?

'''Clyde:''' Look, it's not enough, it's by '''Julie's''' request. Not Vivian's, not mine, but '''Julie's''' request. She just couldn't have the balls to tell you.

'''Chris:''' [stress sigh]

'''Clyde:''' Right Julie?

'''Julie:''' Ummm...yes.

'''Clyde:''' She's '''worried''' and '''I'm''' trying to get it '''to''' you, through your little head, that's '''she''' is just gonna break it off if '''you''' don't clean up your god-damned act.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you se- I did clean up my room.

'''Clyde:''' That's not all. Tell me Chris, do you pay your taxes?

'''Chris:''' Mmm...I don't have to pay my taxes.

'''Clyde:''' Why?

'''Chris:''' My family - my family helps me manage my taxes, and I don't have that much uh, income to tax.

'''Clyde:''' But either way- but when your parents are gone who's gonna help you do the taxes?

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh''] I'll worry about that when that- when I cross that bridge.

'''Clyde:''' God- oh come- you have to know now, you're 26 years old, you musta paid taxes a couple times. You gotta figure that out, man.

'''Chris:''' I paid sales tax.

'''Clyde:''' [''sigh''] Chris, you have a credit card right. So how- how- how much debt do you have on that card?

'''Chris:''' I take- I plead the fifth.

'''Clyde:''' You plead the fifth? Ohhh, come on, Julie '''has''' to know about your financial situation.

'''Chris:''' If Julie wants to know she and I can dis- discuss it in private. We don't need you to uh-

'''Julie:''' Chris...Clyde does have somewhat of a point. I '''am''' kind of worried about... the future.

'''Clyde:''' I'm just trying to help here. If you two went on your crazy ass marriage you two would have been divorced in a month. I'm trying to goddamn help. You better answer me.

'''Chris:''' Fine, I have a huge credit card debt.

'''Clyde:''' Well how much? I would like to quantify this so I can do some calculations.

'''Chris:''' Hmm...nearly 2K.

'''Clyde:''' Ugh, man. And you said you had a savings of one hundred? That leaves you with one thousand, nine hundred. To start a marriage with. You are screwed!

'''Chris:''' No, I pay it off in monthly payments.

'''Clyde:''' And how long, do you think it will take you to pay it off?

'''Chris:''' Due time.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''years'' to pay that off. Tell me, how much do you pay off each month?

'''Chris:''' I pay off about a hundred each month.

'''Clyde:''' You do know that's compound with interest, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' It's going to take you ''ten'' years to pay that off if you keep doing minimum payments.

'''Chris:''' [''stress sigh'']

'''Clyde:''' What-what is your credit score?

'''Chris:''' I don't know my credit score.

'''Clyde:''' You should look that up. You get for free, once a year, from three different companies. You should get it and report back to me, okay? Because Julie doesn't understand this, but I do, and I can help you with this. I'm just trying to goddamn help you. Don't take this as an insult, but if you want your marriage ruined, fine.

'''Chris:''' Well Clyde, I'll tell you what. If you wanna help me, you can come see me in person and we can talk about this.

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yes Julie?

'''Julie:''' You could try getting a job. That could also help, when we do get married.

'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, when the time comes and I decide-and uh, and ah-when the decision comes that I'll have to get a job then I will.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Clyde:''' But you don't have any capital now! You don't have any money now!

'''Chris:''' Clyde, you've done enough.

'''Clyde:''' Really? That's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, what-what's the-can you even cook?

'''Chris:''' Yes, I can.

'''Clyde:''' What can you cook?

'''Chris:''' I can cook anything that's within my cookbook.

'''Clyde:''' What is your favorite thing to cook for Julie. I'm sure she'd love to know.

'''Chris:''' A good chicken noodle soup.

'''Clyde:''' Fantastic. Doesn't that sound delicious, Julie?

'''Julie:''' [''on the brink of tears''] It could be...I don't know!

'''Chris:''' Julie don't listen to-Julie don't listen to Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' She's not worried about me, she's worried about your future.

'''Chris:''' Julie, you don't have to worry, we'll work it out!

'''Julie:''' But Chris, I am worried!

'''Clyde:''' And another thing, Chris. How much fast food do you eat goddamn!

'''Julie:''' Chris, can I suggest something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' You could better yourself, you could take...lessons and you could get a really high paying job. I just wanna suggest that cause I'm really...I will admit, I am worried about the future, I'm sorry.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I understand your concern. And you don't have to worry, I'll get myself a jo-I'll get a-I'll get myself a job soon enough, I'll would like it-I would appreciate it if you would still have faith in me and have faith in the future.

'''Julie:''' Alright, I'm still somewhat unsure...

'''Clyde:''' [talking over Julie] You're going to have faith when you don't see any action?

'''Julie:''' ...but, I can. But Chris, what job will you get?

'''Chris:''' Hmm, I tried to, uh, get best job there is available around here, that I could get from, umm, from my previous experiences at least and my CADD degrees and whatnot.

'''Julie:''' Oh, okay.

'''Clyde:''' You haven't looked, have you? You're lying, aren't you?

'''Chris:''' You're right, I haven't looked, but that doesn't mean I can't ''start'' looking so I can start looking!

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've-I've been thinking, and I think Clyde really is trying to help us. You need to help Clyde help us, do you know what I mean?

'''Clyde:''' You have been lying to Julie about looking for a job? Christ Almighty, how much have you lied to her?

'''Chris:''' But, Clyde, I'm willing to accept your help, but you do not need to be having such an insultive tone that you're giving off.

'''Clyde:''' Chris, there's a reason why I do this. I am the last resort, okay? I am the last chance for you to salvage any type of relationship with ''any'' woman. Y'know, you can sweet talk a woman, you can sweet talk any of your Sonichu Girls, but you know what? Within a month, you'll be divorced by Every. Single. One.

'''Chris:''' I did-that doesn't mean-I mean I never said that we'd have to get married right away, I never said that.

'''Clyde:''' Even then when you two are living together-it's not about marriage, it's about ''being together'', even.

[''long pause'']

'''Chris:''' Well like I said when the time comes I'll deal with it at my own pace, but, y'know right now I can and I promised Julie that I will-

'''Clyde:''' Don't deal it at your pace, deal it at your relationship's pace. AKA, you and Julie. Don't be selfish.

'''Julie:''' Chris, I've been doing some research in Christianity. Isn't that what you said you had-what you followed?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' And I read it, and apparently there's no sex before marriage, it's God's way.

'''Chris:''' Well, actually, uh, actually, under the Methodist faith, it's-uh, it's okay.

'''Julie:''' Alright, but I'm still wondering. It is God's way, maybe, wait who is it?

'''Chris:''' It's-uh it's okay Julie. Julie, I tried-

'''Julie:''' No! How is it alright, though?

'''Chris:''' As long as you and I and we love each other truly.

'''Julie:''' Hnm.

'''Clyde:''' Okay. Okay, okay, I got another question. What- How much- What kind of, I mean, do you cook for yourself? Every week? Or you do go out for fast-food or something.

'''Chris:''' I cook myself- for myself the majority of the week.

[''pause'']

'''Julie:''' Hnmm. Chris, what do you make?

'''Clyde:''' Or do you just go out to eat?

'''Chris:''' I did not go out to eat every day of the week, Clyde.

'''Clyde:''' But how often?

'''Chris:''' I'd say probably 2 or 3- 2 or 3 meals out of the week.

'''Clyde:''' So the rest of the time, you cook. Right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' Wha- what, so? What do you cook? For yourself, that is.

'''Chris:''' I cook for myself a lot of things.

'''Clyde:''' Like what? I mean, Julie would love to know what you can cook, so she have uh, you know, feeling what her diet might be.

'''Julie:''' Yes, what do you make for yourself? I don't mean to side with Clyde, but, what do you make for yourself?

'''Chris:''' I make uh, I make myself some veget- some vegetables and uh, meat, some soups... depends on what I have with me after shopping has happened.

'''Clyde:''' You cook for your parents, then, right?

'''Chris:''' No, my parents, they pretty much take care of themselves.

'''Clyde:''' That's...kinda selfish that you don't cook for them. I mean, your living with them.

'''Chris:''' Well, they have their- they live on two separated- their downstairs and I'm upstairs.

'''Clyde:''' Goddamn, I mean, you just, move out! I mean, Christ. Julie would- Julie, do you feel confortable with Chris's parents-

'''Chris:''' I'd like to move out but it's kinda hard for me to know my destination, and I'm not sure what my destination would be when I move out. At this time. But uh, after Julie, after Julie moves here and finds her apartment, I'm willing to move out of my house and move in with her.

'''Clyde:''' And how much do you think you gonna support Julie? I mean, you said you gonna be the house husband, right?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' So why isn't YOU looking for the house and not her?

'''Chris:''' I'll wait- I'll wait for Julie to come here and she and I can go looking together.

'''Julie:''' ...Chris? Can I tell you something, Chris?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' I did some math, and 800 dollars a month is not only—interrupted by Windows bleeps—part-time and the family is more than that.

'''Chris:''' Uh...by the family, you mean, you and me?

'''Julie:''' I believe so, yes.

'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. *sigh* Alright, well, yeah, well, I will definitely work into finding a job. I promise you, Julie.

'''Julie:''' I am not sure if I can get many jobs, you know, as I am considered immigrant.

'''Chris:''' Yeah I understand. I'll look for it. I'll look for work.

'''Julie:''' Thank you, Chris.

'''Clyde:''' And what you gonna look for?

'''Chris:''' *big sigh* Depends on uh, who's hiring around here and what I can find avaliable to me that's, uh works with my abilities.

'''Julie:''' Chris, you should try and get one now, so you could help saving money for renting day.

'''Chris:''' I will think about that.

'''Clyde:''' I mean what kind of position are you looking for?

'''Chris:''' Can't say right now, because... just came- this whole- this just came with the spur of the moment.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you gotta look for a dream job or something, right?

'''Chris:''' *sigh* I never had a dream job.

'''Clyde:''' He's never had... you've never even thought about getting that perfect job- ever?

'''Chris:''' I just never had, just never had a job occurred in a dream.

'''Clyde:''' I don't mean literally! It just means something that you would like to do for the rest of your life.

'''Chris:''' Well, when it comes to work, I'm just not short- I'm just not sure.

'''Julie:''' -worried.

'''Chris:''' Aww. But Julie, Julie, for the best of abilities I'm willing to uh, go out and work and find something that I can do. I mean, even- even if it's an office job.

'''Julie:''' Uh...

'''Clyde:''' What do you do everyday, Chris? What you do? I mean, you don't have a job, you play videogames, what else do you do?

'''Chris:''' *SIGH* I do a lot, I dot a lot of things everyday.

'''Clyde:''' That was not specific enough. I want to know how you do your time management--

[''weird noises'']

'''Chris:''' Well because currently I am without a job- because currently, without a job, it's kind of- it's kinda varies from day to day. But I am willing to get a job and make it more solid for the day-to-day of my future.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you- what do you do at home, do you just sit there? Hoping money is going to fly to you or something?

'''Chris:''' No.

'''Clyde:''' Then, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' I do a lot of creative things, like- yeah, yesterday I cleaned up my room.

'''Julie:''' Actually, Chris, what do you do everyday? I'm wondering.

[''awkward silence'']

'''Julie:''' ...Chris?

'''Chris:''' I am, yeah, I'm just thinking.

[''more silence'']

'''Chris:''' Mostly I'm creative. But I have things to do everyday.

'''Clyde:''' You're not being specific enough, you're just saying ''I have things''. What? Do you just jack-off all day?

'''Chris:''' NO!

'''Clyde:''' Well, what do you do?

'''Chris:''' Right now I don't have a very solid schedule, like you know, what I do on a day-to-day basis.

'''Clyde:''' I mean, you could at least gone to school and, you know, get something.

'''Chris:''' I did go to school and I did get something...

'''Clyde:''' Go to school again.

'''Chris:''' ...and I'm willing to get a job and—I'm willing to get a job based on what I have learned from my school days.

'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? Chris? Chris, can I say something?

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Julie:''' As long you're on your free time, you should really try to work more on you comic and make as much money as you can, because that's kinda is your job, at least right now.

'''Chris:''' Yeah. It is.

'''Julie:''' So can you work harder on the comic?

'''Clyde:''' *laugh* You fail at that, the only thing with your time it's make those Sonichu comics and you can only pop one out every four months, having my brother- GODDAMN YOU CHRIS.

'''Chris:''' Julie, I promise to work harder and more swifting on my comics.

'''Julie:''' Alright, thank you.

'''Chris:''' I will- I'm gonna- I gonna heel now I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Clyde:''' Just another of my goddamn words, Chris.

'''Julie:''' Chris, one last thing?

'''Chris:''' Yeah?

'''Julie:''' About the comics, you should try and get one of these monthly or at least bi-monthly.

'''Chris:''' Yeah.

'''Clyde:''' And how you're gonna make money with that? You're just wasting your time.

'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris

'''Chris:''' Uh?

'''Julie:''' Are you still gonna play burnout?

'''Chris:''' Tonight, yeah.

'''Julie:''' We are-

'''Clyde:''' And that's what you do with your spare time, play Burnout. Ha ha ha.

'''Chris:''' CLYDE, SHUT UP. I'll talk to you later, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay, I'll turn on my PS3.

'''Chris:''' Ich baan schwill, Julie.

'''Julie:''' Okay. Ich bin schwul.

[''Chris disconnects'']

'''Clyde:''' SKAJSHRLA oh-

'''Bluespike:''' Haha! Oh! He said ''I'm gay'' What a faggot! Did y'all hear that? Chris is gay! He says so himself!

[''Trolls talk over each other'']

'''Troll:''' You actually got him to say it!

'''Troll:''' But you said it as well, so I don't know, man...

'''Bluespike:''' Oh oh. You're right. STAY ST-RAIGHT.

'''Troll:''' Goddamnit Bluespike, you wanna play videogame-

[''random shit'']

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 5|Mumble Chat 5]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 7|Mumble Chat 7]]|}}

== Links ==

* [https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B6mRSOBYFcaBXzRCRFozUUZvODg Download]

{{FanChats}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Mumble 06}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

28 October 2011

2026-01-26T08:13:50Z

MarcelDubois: /* Chris retaliates */ Corrected quotations and spelling of Mitsubishi

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{clear}}
[[File:GuiltyInnocense.jpg|thumb|[[TRUE and HONEST]] artist's depiction.]]

{{quote|I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.|Chris, recalling his arrest.}}

On '''28 October 2011''', a date which will live in infamy, [[The GAMe PLACe]] was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of the City of [[CWCville]]. On that fateful Friday evening, at around 5:20 p.m.,<ref>Based on metadata from Chris's photos.</ref> [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] and [[Barbara Weston Chandler|Barbara]] visited the GAMe PLACe, where Chris had been banned since [[2008]]. Chris had then recently heard that the shop was under new management thanks to [[pedofork|sexual abuse charges]] being placed upon the previous owner, and he had hoped that [[List of places that have banned Chris|his ban from the store]] could be lifted with a new appeal.

To Chris's horror, he realized that [[Michael Snyder]] was now the man in charge, meaning that Chris was effectively trespassing [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|after Snyder told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to return]]. What happened next is still not completely clear, but Chris took a photo of the store and was escorted out, snapping an additional two photos of Michael Snyder in the parking lot. All hell broke loose when Chris allegedly hit Snyder with his car, before switching seats with Barb, who hit him again.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went]]</ref>. After this, they drove away in an attempt flee the scene. When the [[Jerkop]]s arrived, Barb assaulted one during their arrests in an effort to protect Chris. Both were subdued and arrested.

Chris and Barb were each charged with felonies, and Chris was also charged with additional misdemeanors, which meant they both were facing possible prison time.<ref>http://leg1.state.va.us/000/cod/18.2-10.HTM</ref> They were bonded out on 29 October,<ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=323013&searchType=offender</ref><ref>https://www.vinelink.com/vinelink/detailsAction.do?siteId=47000&agency=228&id=125674&searchType=offender</ref> with Chris's initial hearing taking place one week after Barb's. The Chandlers were represented in court by [[Rob Bell]], a Republican member of the [[Virginia]] House of Delegates.

On 10 July 2012, a plea bargain was reached. All of their charges were reduced to misdemeanors. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and mental healthcare|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They also had to pay for Michael Snyder's medical expenses. By the time all was said and done, most of [[Bob Chandler|Bob]]'s inheritance was wasted on paying for a defense to justify Chris's personal vendetta against someone who tried holding him accountable for his actions. This, along with the subsequent fines, would later bite his surviving family in the ass with the advent of the [[Financhu Crisis]] a few years later.

== The charges ==
Below are the charges brought against both Barbara and Chris, along with details and court dates based on the details from the [http://epwsgdp1.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/captchaVerification.do?landing=landing General District Court Online Case Information System] & [http://wasdmz2.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html Charlottesville City Circuit Online Case Information].

===Barbara's===
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a">https://web.archive.org/web/20150205122122/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-894</ref>)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSLT: ON LAW ENF/DOC PERSON''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b">https://web.archive.org/web/20150611194657/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-57</ref>)
** Class 6 Felony charge - Assaulting a law enforcement official. This occurred when Barb attempted to prevent the police from arresting Chris.
**Amended to Misdemeanor.

==== Court dates ====
* 31 October 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. Both felonies go to a grand jury at Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on both felony charges.
* [[This is how the Trial went|10 July 2012]] - 2:00pm - Arraignment. Felony charges reduced to misdemeanors.

===Chris's===
[[File:326-SonicJamCard.jpg|thumb|If only Chris had heeded this advice]]
* '''FAIL STOP ACCIDENT > $1000 FEL''' (§ 46.2-894. Duty of driver to stop, etc., in event of accident involving injury or death or damage to attended property; penalty.<ref name="a" />)
** Class 5 Felony charge - Failing to stop after an accident where the damage exceeds $1,000 in value, from [[This is how the Trial went|hitting Snyder with the vehicle.]]
**Amended to Misdemeanor.
* '''ASSAULT: (MISDEMEANOR)''' (§ 18.2-57. Assault and battery.<ref name="b" />)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Attempted or actual assault against another person, probably [[Michael Snyder|Snyder]].
* '''TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN''' (§ 18.2-119. Trespass after having been forbidden to do so; penalties.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20141024104025/http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+18.2-119</ref>)
** Class 1 Misdemeanor charge - Trespassing on land or within an area from which the offender is forbidden, no doubt due to setting foot in The GAMe PLACe.

==== Court dates ====
* 7 November 2011 - Appeared in court to be formally charged.
* 15 December 2011 - 1:00pm - Judge Robert Downer Jr. granted a continuance (postponement) for both Chris and Barb's charges.
* 5 January 2012 - 1:00pm - Yet another continuance.
* 5 April 2012 - 1:00pm - Another hearing. [[Wikipedia:Nolle prosequi|Nolle prosequi]] on the trespass and assault; the failure to stop goes to Circuit Court.
* 16 April 2012 - 9:30am - Indicted on the felony charge.
* [[This is how the Trial went|10 July 2012]] - 2:00pm - Arraignment. Felony charges reduced to misdemeanors.

== Civil suit ==
Michael Snyder also filed a civil suit against both Chris and Barb on 1 November 2011, 4 days after the incident. Barb attended a second hearing on 14 November, a third took place on 15 December, at the same time as her criminal case hearing, and a fourth occurred on 5 January at 1:00 PM.

Chris's case at one point read 'Other Judgement', however, it appears to have been open again. Presumably, Chris appeared again in court on 5 January 2012 at 2:15 PM, shortly after his criminal hearing.

Before the court hearing, Michael Snyder requested and received a Preliminary Protective Order against both Chris and Barbara. This order is similar to a restraining order, and prohibits Chris or Barb from contacting Michael or engaging in any threatening behavior towards him before the hearing. The order lasts for 15 days.<ref>https://web.archive.org/web/20130907161034/http://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/poDomesticViolence.pdf</ref>

On 5 April, Snyder was awarded full Protection Orders against both Chris and Barbara. A Protection Order can last up to two years and violation of the Protection Order can result in both civil and criminal charges.

No further information on the civil suit has emerged since then, and with the Chandlers having been ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills as part of their plea bargain, it seems likely that the suit will not proceed any further.

== Chris retaliates ==

On 4 November, soon after being bailed out of jail, Chris uploaded the pictures he took of Michael Snyder on the 28th to the [[CWCki]], plastering them on the front page and the page on Michael.<ref>[[Special:Contributions/Christianchandler]]</ref> In the image descriptions, Chris [[Chris and hypocrisy|taunted Snyder for his]] [[obesity]] and claimed that he [[Pedofork|molests children]].

In the February [[Facebook]] leaks, Chris stated "After October 28, 2011; I now have TOTAL Disrespect and Miscontent of the so-called "Officers of the Badge"' as opposed only to those in colors other than blue and black." He also produced 50 copies of a flyer calling the GAMe PLACe a "Cyber bullies' hang-out" and encouraging people to stay far away which he then left around his usual attraction locations. This led to another run in with [[Jerkops]]; Chris escaped by "hiding and weaving around the parked cars" and by driving a Mitsubishi as opposed to [[Son-Chu]].

== Arraignment, plea bargain, and sentencing ==

The arraignments took place on 10 July. Two CWCki Forum members named Cyan and Indigo went to the courthouse and afterwards [[This is how the Trial went|recounted the proceedings]].

A plea bargain was settled upon because Michael did not want Chris and Barb to be stuck with felony charges. Upon sentencing, all five charges shared between Chris and Barb were reduced to misdemeanors. Rob Bell told the judge that despite this, Chris and Barb maintained their version of the events as accurate. This meant they were both technically making an "Alford plea", whereby the defendant does not actually admit to the charges against them, but nonetheless pleads guilty because they do not believe they are likely to win the case, which will still usually result in a more lenient sentence for saving the state the time and expense of a full trial.

Before Chris's turn to speak, Bell referred to him as "high-functioning autistic" and then as an "adult autistic child", much to the chagrin of Chris. When the judge asked Chris if he understood that he had to pay Michael's medical expenses, Chris, in a stunning display of [[ego]]tism even by his standards, replied something along the lines of, "Yes, but I don't think that thieving/bribing liar deserves a red cent!" He then begrudgingly pleaded guilty.

Barbara was sentenced to community service, two years of probation and was ordered to pay $474 in court costs; Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation, plus jail time unless he complies,<ref>http://pastebin.com/jD4zAfX3</ref> and he was ordered to pay $247 in court costs.

The next day, Chris wrote a note on [[Facebook#You WILL be brought in!|Facebook]] confirming Cyan and Indigo's report. Chris claimed that Rob Bell confronted the two "trolls" and that the trolls will get arrested.

==Email==
Someone purporting to be in contact with Chris leaked an email, supposedly from Chris himself, shedding some light on the events of October 28. [[Surfshack Tito]] and [[Thorg]] confirmed that this email was accurate to the events of the day.

{{quotebox|1=
I tell about us two landing in jail. During a usual, yettiring, shopping outting with [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]], we had just stopped at the [[Wikipedia:Salvation Army|Salvation Army]] story on Cherry Ave and left with a few purchases. She impulsively asked
to go to the SPCA Rummage Sale, and I ended up taking 4 St. NW to stop by the [[McDonalds]] there for a cup of tea to go, when at the PLACe, now known as "C-Ville Game & Hobby" (status unchanged on the PLACe website), mom and I read the sign on the window that led me to an occurrence I was waiting for, the PLACe under New Ownership (with [[Destruction Of Chris's House|burning it down]] [[Death threats|being the alternative]]).

So, I continue ahead for the tea, and mom asked for a smoothie. On an impulse of the newfound piece of freedom, I drove back to the PLACe, upon closer inspection, I read the "New Owner" sign further, stating, "Under New Ownership of Mike & Madeline"; I had thought, [[Honor roll|perhaps it was another Mike]]. Mom insisted on coming in with me, so we did, and a few steps in, who did our eyes see in the new center counter, past employee Nathan, and Michael Snyder.

I hid behind my mother for a moment, and Mike pointed us out the door, but before leaving, I whipped out my [[3DS]], activated its camera and took his photo, then I shouted, "For [[the Internet]]". Mom and I made our way to the van and entered it; Mike followed us out, and Stood right in front of the van, thinking he was [[Wikipedia:Stonewall_Jackson#First_Bull_Run|Stonewall Jackson]]. We backed up the van some; Mike chased us. Mom took the wheel; [[Chris and reality|Mike twice made his own deliberate leg scars, rubbing his legs on our bumper, banged our hood and fell backwards; we had NOT moved our van at either instance of him faking his falls.]]

And more shit happened. Mom called [[Jerkop|911]] on my phone first (followed shortly after by Mike being handed a phone by someone else for him to make his call. Eventually, mother backed us out onto 4 St. NW, northward, and we escaped. But at the traffic light, we were caught up by a [[Decepti-Clones|cop car]]. Parked at the nearby courthouse, two of the cop cars, and us in the van, exchanged the tales of the event and our driver licenses. Eventually, I was asked to step out of the van; I was about to be handcuffed, but I would not have another handcuffing, so I fought, I was pinned, and I was handcuffed.

My NEW pair of [[Chris and money|$324]] Rx lens [[glasses]] were broken by THEM in the fight. My mother fought the police in my defense, and she was handcuffed and I was emotionally distraught, I screamed and Screamed and SCREAMED, until an ambulance came for my mother to take her to UVA Hospital; she was okay, but her [[Obesity|Blood Pressure]] was high. I was driven to, entered and thrown into a cell block. At first for a while, I was as melodramatic and sane as [[Beavis and Butt-head|Daria]], then I started going crazy, I shouted television talk and songs at random; [[Muscle bra|took off my shirt]] due to the heat; pretended to be a [[Wikipedia:Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair|genie with light brown hair]] for a while, and made an acquaintance with the stainless steel sink with a hex-shaped bowl.

I prayed a LOT to [[Jesus]] for my release and safe return home with my mother. And I banged the cell door with both my feet while lying on a folding mattress on the floor (to get those bastards to let me see and talk to my mother Eventually, my mother arrived, tried to post bail, but there were errors. [[Rocky]] was called to help us, BLESS her and her husband soo much. Then my mother was jumpsuited and jailed; I was too shortly before. And I was moved to two other cells. Only after seeing my mother in her suit pass by my second cell, did I start to calm down. I was REALLY WORRIED about my mother and her health. She Needed Me, and I Needed Her. Eventually in cell 3, I dozed off and slept for a few hours. I did not eat their food; I had Never eaten Prison Food, and I was NOT going to start then. About 3 PM on the 29th, mom and I were released, and Rocky and her husband drove us back to our van.

Now mom and I each have our own courthouse dates. I'm sure mom will be only fined, but I have the worse of cases. Mom and I, we are certain I will be found not guilty; it was a case of a Deliberate Deception, with the "New Ownership" sign from Michael, and my falling for his trap. I later printed out the facts of Mike from the [[CWCki|Cwcki]] that night, and I found the "CWC Michael Snyder Interview" video on [[YouTube]], where the clown-faced troll called Mike; Michael Snyder CONFESSES to Wanting to lure me in and land me in jail with a "[[Pokemon]] Tournament on the 22nd".

I have streamed from my [[PS3]] to my Laptop to get an MP4 of the video, and to burn the video onto a DVD-R. [[Chris and reality|With this great amount of evidence, we will find Michael Guilty of being a Troll/Cyber Bully among those who have been pestering, deceiving, tricking, blackmailing, etc, me for about 4 years now.]]

That's the story I share with you, REDACTED, in Strictest Confidence; DO NOT TELL ANYONE, PLEASE. [[Homos|Do not ask; Do not tell]]; Barbara and I are working diligently to deal with this. Currently, her court date is set on 12/15; mine is yet to be determined on 11/7, but it'll probably be on the same day as my mother's.

We have also been blessed with connections from Rocky at my church to have Robert B. Bell, Delegate, Republican, Methodist Esquire to represent Barbara and me in both of our cases. It may help to have you come in for support on my trial, and as a character witness. I will send you an update later on.

Stay Safe, REDACTED,

Christian W. Chandler<ref>http://pastebin.com/Tm9EMppU</ref>
}}

== Chris's photos ==
<gallery>
File:HNI 0020.JPG|Chris's photo of The GAMe PLACe; note that everyone is looking at the camera
File:HNI 0021.JPG|Chris's first photograph of Michael Snyder
File:HNI 0022.JPG|Snyder, channeling Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson
</gallery>

== Screenshots ==
<gallery>
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb1.png|Barb's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Barb2.png|Barb's felony assault on a police officer charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris1.png|Chris's failure to stop felony charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris2.png|Chris's misdemeanor assault charge
File:28 Oct 2011 Chris3.png|Chris's trespass misdemeanor charge
File:Chriscivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Chris
File:Barbcivil29.png|Michael Snyder's civil suit against Barbara
File:PO-BARB.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Barb.
File:PO-CHRIS.png|Michael Snyder's protection order against Chris.
File:CR12000096-01.png|The judgement against Chris on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Chris ASSAULT- (MISDEMEANOR) .png|The judgement against Chris on the ASSAULT charge.
File:Chris TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN.png|The judgement against Chris on the TRESPASS AFTER FORBIDDEN charge.
File:Barb fail stop.png|The judgement against Barb on the FAIL TO STOP charge.
File:Barb ASSLT- ON LAW ENF-DOC PERSON .png|The judgement against Barb on the ASSAULT ON LAW ENFORCEMENT charge.

</gallery>

==Fan art ==
<center><gallery>
File:ChrisChanRoth.jpg|Artist's depiction of the assault.
File:Chris mug.jpg|Artist's depiction of Chris's mugshot.
File:Chris joker.jpg| Why so serious?
File:TheJoker.png|Oh dear...
File:Chris court sketch.png| An artist provides a theoretical court sketch.
File:RAPSHT-P1.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 1/2)
File:RAPSHT-P2.jpg| An artist compiled Chris's crimes onto a rap sheet. (Page 2/2)
</gallery></center>

==References==
<references />

== See also ==
*[[This is how the Trial went]], reports from the courthouse
*[[6 June 2010]], a previous altercation with Michael Snyder
*[[26 December 2014]], a later incident that got Chris arrested
*[[Chris and the Law]]
{{GamePlaceSaga}}
{{Law}}
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:The GAMe PLACe]]

Manchester High Leaks

2025-12-11T19:49:10Z

MarcelDubois: /* Adjectives worksheet */

[[File:CWCdoxFolders - 15 Jun 2014.jpg|thumb|Photo of the "obtained" folders.]]
In [[June 2014]], [[CWCki Forums]] user SkyRaider91 (also known as [[Cousin Al]]), began leaking scans of several '''documents from Chris's junior year (1998-99) of [[Manchester High School|high school]]'''.<ref>[https://archive.md/4xcbm]</ref> Many of the pages appear to be charred and/or water-damaged, likely as a result of [[2014 house fire|the January 2014 fire]] and subsequent events at [[14 Branchland Court]]. It was revealed in [[November 2014]] that these had been obtained by trolls sifting through the trash at the burnt-out house, which, although not illegal, still lends credence to the view that [[Trolls#Today|the trolling of Chris is going too far]].

It is very apparent from these leaks that many of Chris's teachers gave him very high grades which he indisputably did not deserve. Whether they did this out of misguided pity, a fear of being seen to play [[Kick the Autistic]] or simply being incompetent themselves, giving Chris - who had perfectly adequate mental faculties for the work - undeserved extra credit would have contributed to his [[Chris and his ego|ego]] and general laziness. Even within this small core sample of his work, it's apparent that Chris frequently left out sections he didn't want to complete, wrote "essays" in a first-person subjective tone and even wrote parts of his work in [[Chris and Spanish|the wrong language]] and still got good or even ''perfect'' scores. The teachers who enabled this abysmal workmanship probably had the best intentions and/or incompetence, but even though they may have made Chris, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]], and [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] happy they certainly did Chris no favours in the long run. Thankfully, at least a few of his markers had the sense to treat his work like they'd treat anyone else's, and he has them to thank for only being able to get into the [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|local community college]].

==[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Parenting]]==
===Parenting Interview===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
Presumably Chris interviewed [[Barbara Chandler|Barb]] and/or [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] for this assignment, and most of the answers are short and vague to the point of not making much sense; it's unclear whether Barb/Bob were giving apathetic answers, or whether Chris was just too lazy to record their full responses. Humorously, the interviewee(s) says that "the hardest part of being a parent" has been "[[Chris's_education|dealing w. public school sys]]", and that they chose to have children simply because "It's nice to have kids." They also make mention of "laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations". This idiosyncratic expression has been interpreted as referring to the social stigma that Bob and Barb endured as a result of their respective previous relationships and children. It is likely to be just an obscure, antiquated idiomatic formation not to be taken literally, referring to the various [[Christopher's name change|wacky happenings]] stemmed from raising one single [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes|very special boy]].
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''50''' 
'''Name''' Christian W. Chandler. 4 
'''Points''' 50
'''Due Date''' 2/19/99

<center>'''PARENTING INTERVIEW'''</center>
'''1. Why did you choose to have children?''' 
:It's nice to have kids.

'''2. How did you decide how many children to have?''' 
:Thought it would be nice to share w. someone.

'''3. Did you know the basic facts about pregnancy and childbirth before you experienced them? Where did you get these facts?''' 
:yes; from book. ''[Several people have misread Chris's cursive "book" as "boob", leading to an even more humorous reading experience.]''

'''4. Where did you get most of your information on child rearing?''' 
:learned from parents, siblings, and figured it out w/[[Cole Smithey|trial & error]].

'''5. Did anyone else play a large role in parenting your young children? (i.e. daycare, sitter, grandmother)''' 
:[[Abusive babysitter|babysitters]] and daycare, and [[Chris and television|other]] [[Vidya|methods]].

'''6. What adjustments did you have to make after your first child arrived?''' 
:laughter from 4 kids and 3 situations.

----

'''7. How do you think your attitude toward parenting differs from your parent's attitudes? Why?''' 
:To mom: a combination / Dad: didn't see parents much, but stayed w. child all the time; tried to use knowlede and availability.

'''8. How do you think your children's attitude will differ from yours?''' 
:[[slow-in-the-minds|smarter than parents.]]

'''9. What has been most rewarding (greatest joy) in being a parent?''' 
:spontaneous love and affection of child.

'''10. What has been the hardest part of being a parent?''' 
:dealing w. public school sys.

'''11. What advise would you give a young couple who is thinking about starting a family?''' 
:big committment and lots of responsibility.

'''12. When do you think a couple is ready for parenthood?''' 
:each couple has to decide themselves.

'''Parent Signature''' Barbara W. Chandler 
:Robert F. Chandler Jr.
}}
}}

===Describing Development===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 001.jpg
File:Parenting Class 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet in which Chris was asked to identify one of five characteristics of development exemplified by various situations. Chris only managed to identify half of the characteristics correctly, earning him an F.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''2/3/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Section 2 
Text Pages 24-33

[top of page marked "5" (for the number of incorrect questions) and graded "10/20" in red pen, with a circled "3" in magenta ink]

<center><big>'''DESCRIBING DEVELOPMENT'''</big></center>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' Identify the characteristic of development described in each situation. Remember that the characteristics of development are as follows: 
* Development is similar for everyone.
* Development builds on earlier learning.
* Development proceeds at an individual rate.
* The different areas of development are interrelated.
* Development is continuous throughout life.

1. Jessica is an active three-year-old who enjoys dressing herself. Lately, she has started choosing her clothes each morning. Her parents are amazed at her constart eagerness to learn new things. It seems she never stops wanting to learn. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continuous throughout life.''

<s>2.</s> Michael always had trouble in school. He did poorly on tests and was seldom able to answer when the teacher called on him. Some of the other children [[Kick_the_Autistic|teased Michael on the playground]] and called him [[Slow_in_the_minds|"dummy"]]. As a result, Michael was very shy and had little self-confidence. Since he has started wearing [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]], however, he has been doing better in school. Now Michael feels good about himself and has been able to make friends more easily. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds <s>it</s> on earlier learning.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

3. Joshua and Nicole are cousins born two months apart. Although Joshua is older, Nicole began to sit and stand about the same time Joshua did. This has been slightly puzzling to Joshua's parents. They are worried about Joshua's apparently slow rate of development. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

<s>4.</s> Jim is babysitting his neighbor's son Albert. To Jim, it seems as if it was only yesterday that Albert was crawling on the carpet in the living room. He remembers that Albert then learned to walk and is now running and jumping in the yard. 
Characteristic of development ''different areas of development are interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

<s>5.</s> Ron has been watching his neighbor's daughter Cindy grow at a steady rate since he moved into the neighborhood almost two years earlier. Ron's sister Amy is the same age as Cindy. Ron has

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

Copyright © Glencoe THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook 13

----

NAME     DATE     CLASS PERIOD    

Chapter 1, Section 2 continued 
Describing Development

noticed that Amy and Cindy are able to do about the same things. This has been true throughout the two years Ron has lived next door to Cindy's family. 
Characteristic of development ''development is interrelated.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "similiar" [sic]]

<s>6.</s> Maria is helping her younger sister Joanie learn the alphabet. She seems to be catching on quickly. Yesterday, Joanie could even pick some of the letters out of written words in one of her books. Maria knows that soon Joanie will be able to point out a few simple words. Later, she will be able to read short phrases and sound out words. 
Characteristic of development ''developmentis continous throughout life.'' 
[corrected in red pen: "builds"]

7. Rachel, Martha, and Juan are all four-year-olds attending the same child care center. Martha is slightly shorter than the other two children. She is very good at playing with others. Rachel is the tallest of the three and the most coordinated. Juan is somewhere between the two girls in size and likes to play quietly by himself in the sandbox. 
Characteristic of development ''development proceeds at an individual rate.''

8. Mark is a senior at his local high school. He has just received a scholarship for his literary achievement. Right now, Mark is looking forward to spring because he plans to run track and hopes to improve his speed from last year. Recently, his Uncle Joseph offered Mark a part-time job at the grocery store he manages. Mark plans to take the job and work until he starts college in the fall. 
Characteristic of development ''development is continous throughout life.''

9. Diane and her family spent a month last summer visiting relatives in Canada. Diane spent most of the month playing with her brother Brad and cousin Timothy, both two years old. She found that both boys could run fairly well, stand on one foot, and climb stairs. By the end of the visit, Diane could see that the two children did many things alike. She thought this was surprising since Brad was born in the United States and Timothy was born in Canada, and the two had never met before. 
Characteristic of development ''development is similar for everyone.''

<s>10.</s> At playschool one day, four-year-old Terry suddenly burst into tears. He had been given a worksheet to complete, which required him to cut out a simple picture with blunt scissors, paste it to another picture, and color it. Terry knew exactly were to paste the picture, and pasting was an activity he enjoyed. He also liked coloring and had already chosen two colors he would use. But Terry could not complete his picture becase he could not make the scissors work. 
Characteristic of development ''development builds on earlier learning'' 
[corrected in red pen: "interrelated"]

'''14''' THE DEVELOPING CHILD Student Workbook Copyright © Glencoe
}}
}}

===Help This Unborn Child===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 003.jpg
File:Parenting Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
A worksheet about behaviors which may adversely affect prenatal development. Chris wrote that several seemingly random things can cause [[Slow-in-the-minds|"slow minds"]], and completely ignored about half of the risk factors mentioned, yet for some reason he still received a grade of 14/20, a C-.

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's answers in italics)|{{quotebox|
'''Text pages 56-87''' 
'''Name''' ''Christian W. Chandler.''
'''Date''' ''3/25/99''

[Graded 14/20 in red pen, with a "7" at the top right]

<center><big>Chapter 3: Prenatal Development <big>Help This Unborn Child</big></big></center>

'''Directions:''' How the mother-to-be takes care of herself greatly affects prenatal development. Read each situation below. Explain which of the mother's health habits may be hazardous to the unborn baby, and why. ["why" is circled in blue pen]

1. Carolyn is excited about the birth of her first child. However, some of the changes coming up will be hard to get used to. For example, she plans to quit smoking soon after the baby is born since she thinks it might be harmful to the child. In the meantime, Carolyn and John look on the pregnancy as their "last fling" before they become parents. Every weekend they attend parties where lots of beer is served. ["Every weekend they" is underlined in red pen] 
:''smoking causes the baby to have <s>a less [illegible]</s> <s>slow mind</s> less birth weight; alcohol causes the baby to have <s>less birth wei</s> a slow mind.'' 
:[teacher wrote "FAS", "need rest", and "-1" in red pen]

2. Earlier this week, Sandra woke up with a terrible cold. Since she is preparing for maternity leave, she doesn't want to miss any days at the office. ["miss any days at the office" is underlined in red pen] Sandra decided to increase her intake of vitamins to boost her energy level. She found some nose drops in the medicine cabinet and has been taking those along with several aspirin each day. 
:''some medical drugs cause the baby to have less body weight, and have slow minds.'' 
:[teacher wrote "take needed time" in red pen]

----

3. Elaine's second child is due in five months. She is busy getting ready for the new arrival. Since pregnancy has been going so well, Elaine decided not to cut down on her favorite foods – chocolate, coffee, and soft drinks. Elaine's X rays at her dental appointment last week revealed no tooth decay. She really does feel good. However, since several neighborhood children have had rubella recently, she has decided to ask her doctor for the vaccine on her next visit. 
:''chocolate, coffie, and soft drinks (caffine), cause the baby to <s>not have</s> <s>not get all the nutrients it needs.</s> be very hyperactive. 
:[teacher wrote "caffeine", "-3", and "No Xrays [or] vaccines because        " in red pen]

4. Marti has a fear of gaining too much weight while she is pregnant. A few years ago, her doctor prescribed amphetamines for a weight loss program. Marti had some of the pills left over, so she is using them to curb her appetitu, In addition, she skips breakfast and lunch and eats only a small dinner. 
:''skipping meals and only taking medication will cause the baby to not get the nutrients it needs.'' 
:[in red pen, the teacher wrote "-2" and "1/2" in the margin, and circled "taking medication", drawing an arrow to where she wrote "amphetamines cause"]
}}
}}

===Chapter 1 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 005.jpg
File:Parenting Class 006.jpg
</gallery></center>
For this worksheet about child development, Chris seems to have regurgitated sentences from a textbook, which makes it a boring read. Of note is that he gave "television" as an example of a child's "enviroment" [sic], possibly shedding some light on Barb's parenting techniques.

{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' Date ''2/9/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 1</big> 
Text Pages 16-35

'''CHAPTER 1 STUDY GUIDE'''

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Children in Your Life''' 
:1. What three things influence your relationship with young children? 
::''[[Pedofork|your interest (in children)]], knowledge of stages, and skill in applying that knowledge.''

'''Why Study Children?''' 
:2. Name three benefits of learning about children. 
::''you learn about the person you are; you learn about the child you were; and you learn about the adult you will be.''

:3. How can learning about children help you get along with them better? 
::''you will apply learning to everyday life, you learn practical techniques, and you will discover that children are fun.''

'''What Is Childhood?''' 
:4. What is one of the most important concepts that have emerged from the study of children? 
::''they have [[autism|special needs]] as they grow and learn.''

'''Childhood: Past and Present''' 
:5. How did people in Colonial days think children differed from adults? 
::''only in size, expierence, and abilities.''

:6. Give three examples of the differences between childhood in the past and childhood today. 
::''<s>children were expected to work hard at an early age,</s> <s>but</s> health and nutrition, dress, and parental love.''

----

:7. Why can childhood be called a ''recent'' discovery, even though there have always been children? 
::''<s>[illegible]</s> in the past, parents had little awareness of their special needs.''

'''The Growth of Child Study''' 
:8. Where can you find information about growth and development of children? 
::''books, articles, radio and television <s>problems</s> programs on the subject of child <s>deleo</s> development.''

'''Characteristics of Development''' 
:9. Explain in your own words what the following characteristics of development mean.

::Development is similar for everyone. 
:::''children all over the world go through the same, but different, stages of development.''

::Development builds on earlier learning. 
:::''development follows an orderly sequence (step-by-step).''

::Development proceeds at an individual rate. 
:::''style and rate of growth differ from 1 child to another.''

::The different areas of development are interrelated. 
:::''all areas of development interact continually.''

::Development is continuous throughout life. 
:::''sometimes, development is rapid, and [[Chris's education|sometimes, it is much slower]].''

'''The Importance of Play''' 
:10. Identify four ways that play benefits the development of children. 
::''physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially.''

'''Influences on Development''' 
:11. Name two major influences on development, and give an example of each. 
::''heredity: physical characteristics; enviroment: television,''
}}

===Chapter 2 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 007.jpg
File:Parenting Class 008.jpg
File:Parenting Class 009.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet seems to be more regurgitated textbook material, but Chris found subtle ways to screw it up, like using mathematical inequalities (see also: using Spanish in his [[Manchester High Leaks#English|English homework]]) and failing to cross a couple Ts. He also doesn't seem to understand the concept of adoption, referring to it as "a right to raise a child who is biologically their own."
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler.'' DATE ''2/23/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 2</big> 
Text Pages 36-57

<big>'''CHAPTER 2 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''The Importance of Families''' 
:1. What is a family? 
::''group of 2 or more people who care about and are committed to each other.''

:2. Why do people have a need for families? 
::''they're every child's 1st connection to the world.''

'''Types of Families''' 
:3. Explain in your own words each of the following types of families.

::Nuclear 
:::''a mother, father, and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Extended 
:::''parents, children, and other relalives sharing <s>thesame</s> the same household.''

::Single-parent 
:::''1 parent and x ≥ 1 child sharing the same household.''

::Blended 
:::''married couple and x ≥ child from parents' previous relalionship.''

:4. Name and describe <s>three</s> 2 ways of becoming a parent other than by being a biological parent. 
::''adoption: a right to raise a child who is biologically their own.'' 
::''foster child: child w. parents who are unable to care for it.''

----

'''The Family Life Cycle''' 
:5. Record a reward and a challenge that may occur in each stage of the family life cycle. 
::<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Stage'''</th>
<th>'''Reward'''</th>
<th>'''Challenge'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Beginning</td>
<td>''<s>couple</s> home.''</td>
<td>''<s>establishing home &</s> [[Chris and money|$$]].''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childbearing    </td>
<td>''a baby.''</td>
<td>''noise and changes; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Childrearing</td>
<td>''teaching the child what you know.''</td>
<td>''[[Autism|disorder]]; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Launching</td>
<td>''child learns [[Monthly tugboat|how to support him/herself]].   ''</td>
<td>''child in process of leaving; $$.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Empty Nest</td>
<td>''renew relationship.''</td>
<td>''no child around; changes.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Retirement</td>
<td>''new/old interests.''</td>
<td>''failing health.''</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''Trends Affecting Family Systems''' 
:6. Explain how each of the following family trends affects society an a whole.

::Increased mobility 
:::''no supportive connection w. family & friends.''

::More women in the work force 
:::''less time with child, more [[Chris and stress|stress]] for both parents/need for [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|facilities]] and [[Abusive babysitter|individuals]] that provide quality child care.''

::Rising population of older citizens 
:::''encouragement of family unity.''

'''The Need for Healthy Families''' 
:7. What role does the family play in the socialization of family members? 
::''children learn about [[Chris and anger|acceptable behavior]].''

----

'''How Can Families Be Strengthened?''' 
:8. Name three steps in strengthening families. 
::''knowing what to look for; id. strengths of their family; and improve areas that need strengthening.''

:9. Name three ways in which parenthood can be rewarding. 
::''members show commitment, appreciation, and effective coping skills.''

'''Making Decisions About Parenthood''' 
:10. Explain in your own words why each of the following considerations is important to the decision of whether to have children..

::Emotional maturity 
:::''<s>[illegible] grow</s> to become better able to handle situations.''

::[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Desire for parenthood]] 
:::''to be sure of their decision.''

::[[Chris and health|Health]] 
:::''health of parents could <s>effe</s> affect child, before it is born.''

::Management skills 
:::''parenting is a complex task.''

::[[Chris and money|Financial considerations]] 
:::''[[Lego|expenses for child will increase.]]''
}}

===Chapter 5 study guide===
<center><gallery>
File:Parenting Class 010.jpg
File:Parenting Class 011.jpg
File:Parenting Class 012.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris misspelled a couple words, but other than that, this worksheet is just more boring textbook paraphrasing, this time about prenatal development.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
NAME ''Christian W. Chandler'' DATE ''3/5/99'' CLASS PERIOD ''7'' 
<big>'''STUDENT WORKBOOK''' For use with Chapter 5</big> 
Text Pages 114-153

<big>'''CHAPTER 5 STUDY GUIDE'''</big>

'''DIRECTIONS:''' As you read the chapter, answer the following questions. Later, you can use this guide to study the chapter information.

'''Prenatal Development''' 
:1. Prenatal development is 
::''development of baby during period before birth.''

'''Conception''' 
:2. Define:
::Ovum
:::''female cell or egg.''
::Uterus
:::''organ in woman's body in which a baby develops during pregnancy.''
::[[Navy|Sperm]]
:::''male cell.''
::Conception
:::''union, or joining, of 1 egg and 1 sperm, resulting in beginning of pregnancy.''
::Zygote
:::''fertilized egg.''

'''Period of the Zygote''' 
:3. The first stage in the development of a baby is the ''zygote period'' and lasts ''2'' weeks. The zygote attaches to the ''uterus'' and is the size of a ''pinhead'' at the end of two weeks.

'''Period of the Embryo''' 
:4. The second stage of the pregnancy is the ''embryo period'' and lasts from the ''3rd'' week to the ''8th'' week of pregnancy. During this time, the ''placenta'', which attaches the sacs around the embryo to the uterus, and the ''umbilical cord'', the tube that connects the placenta to the embryo, develop. The tube carries ''nourishment'' and ''oxygen'' from the mother's blood stream to the baby and takes ''waste products'' from the baby. The ''amnotic fluid'' surrounds the

----

:embryo and acts as a cushion to protect it. At three weeks after conception, the ''heart'' is the largest organ, and it has already started ''beating''.

'''Period of the Fetus''' 
:5. The last stage of pregnancy is the ''fetus period'' and begins about the ''8th or 9th'' week and lasts until ''birth''. In the early part of this period, the baby has the beginnings of all ''organs'' and ''body parts''. By the fourth of fifth month of development, the kicking and moving of the baby can be felt by the mother, which is called ''quickening''. By the ''7th'' month, with a great deal of medical help, the fetus is capable of living outside the uterus. During the final month, the fetus ''gains'' weight rapidly and adds ''fat'' to help maintain body heat after birth. In the last few weeks, the fetus stores ''nutrients'' and builds ''immunity'' to disease and infection. During the ninth month of pregnancy, the fetus drops into the birth canal, which is called ''lightening'', to prepare for labor. After about ''40'' weeks of preparation, the baby is ready to be born.

'''The Genetic Package''' 
:6. What is heredity? Name there characteristics that can be hereditary. 
::''passing of natural characterics from past generations; hair texture and color, skin color, and color/shape of eyes.''

:7. Explain the relationship between chromosomes and genes. 
::''each chromosome contains thousands of genes.''

----

:14. What are the five options for infertile couples? Briefly describe each. 
<table>
<tr><th>Options</th><th>Descriptions</th></tr>
<tr>
<td>''adoption''</td>
<td>''legally providing a home for 1 or more children who don't have a home.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Semen#Donation|''artificial insemination''</td>]]
<td>''injection of male's sperm into a woman's uterus, with a special needle during the woman's fertile period.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''in vitro fertilization''</td>
<td>''a doctor removes an egg from a woman, puts it in a glass dish with a special solution, adds husband's sperm, and implants zygote back in woman's uterus.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>''ovum transfer''</td>
<td>''<s>[illegible]</s> same as in vitro fertilization, but the egg comes from an egg donor, not the mother.''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>[[Open Relationship E-mails#Need my daughter|''surrogate''</td>]]
<td>''when a zygote is transferred from a future mother, to substitute <s>[illegible]</s> woman, who carries the zygote until birth.''</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}

===Empathy Belly essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Empathy Belly Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris describes the experience of [[Pregnant Act|wearing an empathy belly]], complete with disturbing [[Honest Content|honest content]]:

{{quote|...while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling.|Chris, oversharing about how the empathy belly rubbed his penis}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
[graded 30/30] 
Christian W. Chandler. 
4/12/99 
Parenting, 7.

How it was like to wear the Empathy Belly:

Having a belly like a pregnant woman was really an awkward experience. While I wore the belly, I was walking like as if my legs were out of balance. Also, when I tried to get my pencil bag out of my backpack, the belly held me back by putting pressure on my left leg. Luckily my arms were long, but if they were any shorter, I would have had a real problem to reach the pencil bag. And when I laid on the floor and tried to get up, the gravity made the belly put pressure on me, and it made me fall on my right side. Finally, while I was sitting in my chair, the belly made it uncomfortable for me to cross my legs, and while my legs were separated, it put pressure on my [[Duck|private part]], which gave me a strange, weird feeling. So, it was quite an experience while I had a belly like a pregnant woman.
}}
}}

==U.S. Government==
===Amendment Timeline===
<center><gallery>
File:US GOV 001.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 1-17
File:US GOV 002.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 18-23
File:US GOV 003.jpg|Timeline of US Amendments 24-27
</gallery></center>
An illustrated timeline briefly describing the 27 amendments to the U.S. Constitution. As is [[honor roll|to be expected]], Chris used multiple differing conventions for writing out dates, and made numerous prominent factual, spelling, and grammatical errors, which are preserved in the transcription.

Notably, Chris seems to have read the antiquated language used in the older amendments [[Autism|at completely literal face value]] with no sense of interpretation, leading him to getting many facts and details wrong. For example, while most every [[United States of America#Chris on patriotism|true American patriot]] knows the [[Wikipedia:Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution|13th Amendment]] as the amendment that ended [[Niggos|slavery]], it also contains a parenthetical stating that involuntary servitude as conviction for a crime would continue to exist in the United States. Chris seems to have focused on this minor detail about crime punishment, rather than the momentous occasion of freeing the slaves, as the entire purpose of the amendment and even included an illustration implying that the 13th Amendment ''created'' slavery for criminals. While the [[Wikipedia:Twenty-third Amendment to the United States Constitution|23rd Amendment]] actually gave voting rights to citizens of Washington, D.C., Chris seems to have confused "District of Columbia" for referring to [[Wikipedia:Columbia, South Carolina|Columbia, South Carolina]], and drew a picture of the state pleased that it can now vote for president (this may have something to do with South Carolina not adopting a popular vote for president until 1868, making it by far the last state to do so, although this is probably giving Chris too much credit). In actuality, the 24th amendment abolishes poll taxes, while Chris makes it seem like it suddenly requires them. Additionally, the 26th amendment doesn't apply exclusively to men; it gives suffrage to all Americans 18 and older, regardless of sex.

His interpretation of the [[Wikipedia:Eleventh Amendment to the United States Constitution|11th Amendment]], that "People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles", is [[Slow-in-the-minds|completely inexplicable]].

Chris glosses over most of the Bill of Rights amendments (including the First Amendment that allows him to behave the way he does over the Internet), claiming the whole thing simply means "innocent until proven guilty."
{{quote|Dear LADY; PAYUP!|Congress}}
{{collapsible
|Transcription|{{quotebox|1=
Christian W. Chandler 
1/10/99 
U.S. Govt., 3 
<center>27 Amendmt Timeline</center>
* (Dec 15) 1791
::(Bill of Rights) Amendments 1-10 Everyone shall have innocence 'till proven guilty 
::[Speech bubble: "Even though I have 'GUILT' on my face, I am innocent 'till proven."]
* (Feb 7) 1795
::11th amendment: People of other countries can't blame U.S. for their troubles. 
::[Horribly misshapen landmasses labeled "CANADA", "U.S.A"., "MEXICO", "EUROPE", and "[[Niggos|AFRICA]]".] 
::[Speech bubble: "HELP!"]
* (JULY 27) 1809
::12th amendment: majority of votes for president for one state = 1 vote for that president. 
::[Speech bubble: "Virginia: I'M FOR CLINTON!"] 
::CLINTON: 26 
::Bushwell: 24 
::(Virginia didn't vote for Bushwell)
* 1865 (Dec 6)
::13th amendment: Slavery shall only be used as crime punishment. 
::[Speech bubble: "TANKS TO 'unlucky' 13, I'm in here! (mumbling)."]
* 1868 (JULy 9)
::14th Amendment: Those are born in U.S. = U.S. Citizen 
::[Speech bubble: "Does that make me a U.S. citizen?."] 
::[Baby wearing a top hat reading "1998", labeled "(Baby 1998)"]
* (Feb 3) 1870
::15th amendment: No matter what race or color, they will vote. 
::[Speech bubble (oddly from a white person): "Yippie! Finally, I can vote!"]
* 1913 (Feb. 3)
::16th amendment: Congress shall collect taxes. 
::[Document with heading "Congress", reading "Dear LADY; PAYUP!"]
* (Apr. 8) 1913
::17th amendment: Senate of U.S. = 2 people from each state. 
::[Speech bubble: "Weare senates!"] 
::[Figures labeled "Bob", "MARY", and "Virginia"]
::[Note: In reality, the Senate was always two people from each state, and the 17th Amendment made them directly elected rather than appointed by State legislatures.]

----

* (Jan. 16) 1919
::18th amendment: prohibition of [[Alcohol|liquor]] from U.S. 
::[Bottle label: "BE ER"]
* 1920 Aug. 18
::19th amendment: [[Women's rights|Women]] can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "I can Vote, too!"]
* (Jan. 23) 1933
::20th amendment: Presidency & Vice Presidency terms exp. Jan. 20. 
::(LAME [[DUCK]] [duck pictogram]) 
::[Calendar: "JANUARY, 1999", "prop of Bill CLINTON"] 
::[Speech bubble: "(Clinton)-> MYDAY is almost here."]
::[Note: Clinton's second presidential term did not expire until 20 January 2001.]
* (Dec. 5) 1933
::21st amendment: Repeal of Prohibition. (Beer is allowed). 
::[Speech bubble: "Uh..., WELCOME.....DOh!"] 
::[Ship labeled [[Pokemon|"S.S. ANNE."]], carrying "BEER"]
* 1951 (Feb. 27)
::22nd. amendment: Limit of President to 2 terms. 
::[Figures labeled "1st term.", "2nd term"]
* (Mar. 29) 1961
::Columbia <s>can't</s> can vote for president. 
::[Speech bubble: "WE CAN VOTE, TOO!"]

----

* (Jan. 23) 1964
::24th amendment: voters need to pay poll taxes 
::[Printer labeled "Poll taxBox", "Printout -> VOTE"]
::[Note: In reality, it was the exact opposite; the 24th Amendment ''prohibited'' federal and governments from requiring voters to pay poll taxes in order to vote.]
* 1967 Feb. 10
::25th amendment: President's powers are reduced. 
::[Figures labeled "Before", "after"]
* (July 1st) 1971
::Amendment 26: young men of 18 yars of age can vote. 
::[Speech bubble: "Hey-hey, thanksfor the cool car & the vote!"]
* 1992 (May 7)
::Amendment 27: Salary changes must be made for Congress to pay themselves. 
::[Figures labeled "(to Congress) Before", "(changes required)✓ After"]
* 1999! The END!

}}
}}

===Worksheets and Essays===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Cant Follow Directions Constitution Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14 Basic Concepts2.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 14Basic Concepts.jpg
File:CWC Lawbreaking Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC No Back Worksheet2.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum.jpg
File:CWC Political Spectrum2.jpg
File:Chris_Korean_War_Graphic.jpg
File:CWC Vietnam Map.jpg
File:CWC Why Only One Point.jpg
</gallery></center>

===Women's Movement notes===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Womens Movenment.jpg
</gallery></center>
{{quote|Never Passed!|What should have happened to Chris in an ideal education system}}
Chris's brief notes on the [[Women's rights|women's movement]] in the United States in the 1960s.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

<s>Women</s> Women's Movement: 
Started from reaction to book, The Feminene Mystique, written by housewife, Betty Friedan. She wrote, "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries... she was afraid to ask, 'Is this all?'" 
Change Begins: 
1. = pay act: passed in '63. 
2. Now: National Organization for Women. 
Fought for passage of = Rights Ammendments... Never Passed!
}}}}

===Strategic Defense Initiative essay===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC SDI Essay.jpg
</gallery></center>
The [[Wikipedia:Strategic Defense Initiative|Strategic Defense Initiative]] was a system [[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] proposed in 1983. It was never actually implemented, at least not even close to how Reagan proposed it (in terms of technology and scale), and certainly not during his presidency. Despite that, Chris vomited up this four-sentence "essay" on how the "system of zappers and mirrors in space" defended "against [[Wikipedia:Evil empire|Evil Empire]]," granted, the assignment asked for him to defend against '''the''' evil empire but he still didn't follow most of the instructions. He still got yet another perfect grade. Note that the teacher misspelled the names of several terms/people in the heading, and that the debt increase Chris gave for SDI is comically low – Reagan increased the defense budget by tens of '''billions''' of dollars, not millions.<ref>[http://www.cato.org/publications/policy-analysis/reagans-1983-defense-budget-analysis-alternative]</ref><ref>[http://martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/aug2006/starwars1.html#Cost] "$44 billion was appropriated by Congress for SDI from 1983 to 1993."</ref> All evidence seems to suggest his teacher should not have been hired.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''REVIEW SHEET(X): FORD-CLINTON''' [graded "+10" in red ink]

Name ''Christian W. Chandler''      Date ''11/22/98''

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''TERMS:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th><th>'''PEOPLE:'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stagflation</td>
<td>Three Mile Island</td>
<td>Ronald Reagan</td>
<td>Khomeini</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>ERA</td>
<td>Panama Canal Treaty</td>
<td>Gorbachev</td>
<td>Contras</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Salt II</td>
<td>Camp David Accords</td>
<td>George Bush</td>
<td>Sandinistas</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Reaganomics</td>
<td>SDI "Star Wars"</td>
<td>Oliver North</td>
<td>Rodney King</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>INF Treaty</td>
<td>Operation Desert Strom ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Clarence Thomas</td>
<td>Boris Yelstein ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Iran-Contra Affair</td>
<td>Aparthied ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Sadaam Hussein ''[sic]''</td>
<td>Nelson Mandella ''[sic]''</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>

ESSAY: (10 POINTS)

Explain, IN DETAIL, ONE <s>two</s> event that occurred during Reagan's presidency that illustrates how Reagan would defend against the "Evil Empire" at all costs. You must name the country/event and describe it in as much detail as possible Conclude by stating IF and HOW the goal was achieved and the "Evil Empire" was contained.

''The Strategic Defense Initiative was a way Regan defended against "Evil Empire." This occured ''[sic]'' in the U.S., and it was a system of zappers and mirrors in space that would destroy a nuclear missile <s>if</s> before it would hit the U.S. It was achieved by adding $70-million to debt. in defense. The SDI was a way Reagan would have defended against "Evil Empire."''
}}}}

===Election worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet.jpg
File:CWC Chapter 10 Social Studies Worksheet2.jpg
</gallery></center>
This worksheet deals with various aspects of elections, such as voting, political campaigns, etc. As in several other documents for non-Spanish subjects, Chris used broken Spanish for some of his answers here, although he provided English translations for most of it, and explained in the margin that he was "practicing [his] spanish". Despite the irrelevant, incorrect use of Spanish and the extremely simple answers, this worksheet again received a perfect grade.

{{quote|In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? '''public officeholders; work en la office.'''|Chris, completely oblivious that this was asking about the [[Wikipedia:Electoral College (United States)|Electoral College]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in italics)|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler'' Section      Date ''1/13/99''

<big>'''CHAPTER 10, BUILDING SOCIAL STUDIES SKILLS'''</big> [graded 18/18 in red pen] 
''in textbook'' 
Write phrases or sentences to answer these questions.

1. Who uses a ballot? For what purpose? 
:''voters; to place their choices in la election.''

[In the margin, Chris wrote "note: yo practico mi español, pero yo escribo los translations / I'm practicing my spanish, but I wrote translations.", and drew an arrow to #2.]

2. Who attends a nominating convention, and what do those people do? 
:''political parties; a deciden sus candidates y a "select" delegates/to choose its candidates and to select delegates.''

3. What is the difference between a closed primary and an open primary? 
:''<s>[illegible]</s> closed primary <s>parties</s>; only party members vote. open primary: all voters can vote.''

4. What does a campaign manager do? 
:''el <s>prep</s> coordinates y plans la campaign strategy / he coordinates and plans campaign strategy.''

5. Name and briefly describe three different positions on a campaign staff. 
:''Fund raisers: raises money to subsidize campaign.''
:''Press Secretary: maintains press contacts; disseminating campaign news.''
:''lawers y accountants: monitor legal y financial aspects of campaign.''

6. What does a political consultant do? 
:''helps a shape candidate's image; manage campaign advertising.''

7. Who uses tracting polls? For what purpose? 
:''más candidates; a find out cómo bein <s>[illegible]</s> ellos son competing for votes / to find out how well they are competing for votes.''

8. In a presidential election, whom do voters actually choose? What do those people do? 
:''public officeholders; work en la office.''

----

9. What is negative campaign advertising? 
:''advertising en a political campaigned aimed at discrediting y damaging la opposing <s>candidate</s> candidate.''

10. What are two questions you should ask yourself when evaluating a political commercial? 
:''Which individual o group paid for la commercial?'' 
:''What forms of communication are used?''

11. What is propaganda? Who uses it? 
:''message to influence people's ideas, opinions, & actions.''

12. What are two different techniques of propaganda? Write a brief description of each. 
:''Glittering generalities: uses vague words or ides that don't really <s>say</s>say much.'' 
:''Card stacking: uses facts that support candidate's argument.''
}}}}

===JFK Assassination===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Assassination JFK Drawing.jpg
File:CWC Assassination JFK Notes.jpg
</gallery></center>
Brief notes on JFK's assassination, including a diagram of the scene.
{{collapsible|Transcription (notes)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/15/98 
U.S. Govt., 3.

John F. Kennedy: assassinated: 
Nov. 22, 1963. Dallas, Texas, 12:30 pm. 
J.F.K. is shot x2 from 6th floor of Tx. school. book depository; pronounced dead at 1:00 pm (Parkland). 
Assassin: 
Lee Harvey Oswald: arrested within 2 hrs. His rifle was found at scene w. only his handprint on it. Nov. 24: Oswald was shot & killed by Jack Ruby ([[Michael Snyder|Rubinstein]]). 
Investigation: 
Led by Warren Commission & Chief Justice Earl Warren. After 10 months, the 26 volume Warren Report concluded that Oswald was only assassin. 
Theories: 
# Single bullit theory: "Magic Bullit." 1 bullet hit both J.F.K. & Gov. Connelly. (7) This supports Warren Report.
# Assassin on "Grassy Knoll:" shot J.F.K. in front. "Umbrella Man?" people posed as F.B.I. agents.
# "Number of shots?" (3?).
}}}}
{{collapsible|Transcription (drawing)|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/13/98 
U.S.G Ovt.

1. Kennedy was killed while he was <s>rid</s> riding and <s>[illegible]</s> waving to crowd

[An annotated diagram of the scene, most likely copied from a textbook or the chalkboard. The only possibly interesting thing here is that Chris misspelled "Zapruder" as "zenbrader".]

Dealy Plaza 
Dallas, T.X. 
Nov. 22, 1963 
12:30 P.M.
}}}}

==[[Chris and English|English]]==
===English 1999 Grade Report===
<center><gallery>
File:Honor Roll I dont think so.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris's 1999 English grade report reveals that he received [[Honor roll|failing grades]] on all but 2 items, and a 78% for the year, showing that at least one of his markers was competent.
{{collapsible|Transcription|<pre><nowiki>
================================================================================
Sun Jun 06 STUDENT GRADES REPORT PAGE: 26
================================================================================
Excelsior Software, Inc. (C) 1990

NAME: Chandler, Christian CLASS: English
I.D.: SECTION:
LEVEL: TEACHER: Mrs. Dorazio

ASSIGNMENTS
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
NO. | DESCRIPTION CATEGORY | GRADE |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+
1 | Notecards I All Grades | 50.0 |
2 | Notecards II All Grades | 50.0 |
3 | Macbeth test All Grades | 84.0 |
4 | Voc 10 S/A All Grades | 20.0 |
5 | Intro Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
6 | Sonnet Disc All Grades | X |
7 | 1st Body Paragraph All Grades | 0 |
8 | Computer lab All Grades | 25.0 |
9 | Sonnet test All Grades | 86.0 |
10 | Pride and Prejudice II All Grades | 0 |
11 | Voc 10 C/C All Grades | 30.0 |
12 | Pride and Prejudice IV All Grades | 23.0 |
13 | Voc 10B All Grades | 50.0 |
14 | Pride and Prejudice VI All Grades | 25.0 |
----+------------------------------------------------------------------+-------+

CLASS GRADE: 72.0 D+

COMMENTS: year- 78
</nowiki></pre>
}}

===Canterbury Tales Essay===
An essay on [[wikipedia:The Nun's Priest's Tale|The Nun's Priest's Tale]] from [[wikipedia:Geoffrey Chaucer|Geoffrey Chaucer]]'s [[Wikipedia:The Canterbury Tales|Canterbury Tales]], with two drafts, a planning/inventory sheet, and a grade sheet. The rough draft looks to be peer-reviewed, while the second draft was most likely reviewed by the teacher. The first draft of the "essay" is just the narrative of the story the essay was supposed to be about, and Chris uses extremely basic punctuation (mainly commas) incorrectly, as well as [[CWC-isms|making up words]]. The second draft is the same thing minus the fictitious words (but plus numerous tense errors) and with an awfully written conclusion tacked onto the end. Chris earned a 69% grade from a very generous or very stupid marker.

{{quote|And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor.|Chris's eloquent conclusion in the rough draft, which his teacher didn't even notice was the conclusion}}

{{quote|Well, that's it for the essay.|Chris's revised conclusion}}

<center><gallery>
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (7).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (8).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (3).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (4).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (5).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (6).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (2).jpg
File:Canterbery Tales essay001 (1).jpg
</gallery></center>
{{collapsible|Rough draft transcription (editor's marks in bold)|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/4/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay. (rough draft)

The <s>Cat</s> Canterbury Tales gives us an excellent portrait of life in Mid'''dle'''-ages. <s>Back in the mid-ages, the knights, peasents, and the royalty, lived in</s> The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á Becket. On the way to Canterbury; the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story each pilgrim told, was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In the Nun's Priest's Tale [editor crossed out the underline and wrote '''"Don't underline"''' in margin], by Geoffrey Chaucer, the deadly <s>sine</s>'''sin''', Pride was committed.

[editor wrote '''"Say something about Chanticlers dream?"''' in margin and an arrow pointing to this paragraph] In this <s>tale</s> tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer expresses too much pride, and it got him into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fencepost, when in the bushes nearby, a sneaky, sly fox was hiding there. The fox came out and told Chanticleer how his father, supposedly, crowed magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, '''eyes closed''' then he crowed his great crow. Then, Chanticleer's pride rose; so he <s>[illegible]</s> put his chest out, head back, '''and closed his eyes''' and just before he crowed, the fox pounced, and clasped his jaws on the poor, prideful rooster. And that's how Chanticleer's pride got him into trouble.

----

Also in this tale, the fox also expresses too much pride. As the fox carries <s>the</s> Chanticleer in his mouth, Chanticleer flatters the fox by telling him how clever the fox was in capturing Chanticleer. He also mentioned that flattering the chicken and capturing him off guard was "pure genius." When the fox opens his mouth to reply, proudfully, the chicken jumps out and runs away from him, '''up the tree''' <s>and back to the farm.</s> And that's how the fox goes overboard w. his pride, and how his crime didn't go into his favor. 
'''Need a conclusion.'''
}}
{{collapsible|Second draft transcription|
Christian W. Chandler. 
12/10/98 
English, 1

Canterbury essay

[Chris drew a star in the margin to the left of each line. The editor crossed out the entire row of stars on the first page.]

The Canterbury Tales [editor underlined the title for Chris] gives us an excellent portrait of life in the Middle ages. [editor circled the "a" in "ages", presumably because it should have been capitalized] The 30 pilgrims are on a journey to the shrine of Thomas-á-Bechet. On the way to Canterbury, the pilgrims have a contest involving story telling. So, each story that each pilgrim told, [editor wrote "T" above "told", presumably for tense] was a frame story in the story of Canterbury Tales. In The "Nun's Priest's Tale<s>,</s>" by Geoffry Chaucer, the deadly sin<s>,</s> Pride<s>,</s> was committed

In this tale/fable, the rooster, Chanticleer, has a dream in which told was [editor circled "which told was" and wrote "?" above it] going to happen later in the tale. In his dream, Chanticleer...

→

----

[editor wrote "one side only" at top of this page; evidently this essay was supposed to be single-sided]

was attacked by a beast with a "blend of yellow and red." The beast tried to seize him, in his mouth with a "small smout." [editor wrote "sp" above "smout"] Then his wife, Pertelote, woke him up as he was "groaning and lurching," in the [[Chris and reality|"real world."]] But, Pertelote proclaimed that he was a coward<s>,</s> because he was afraid of his dream.

Now, later in the tale, Chanticleer, and the fox, expresses too much pride, and it got both of them into trouble. One day, Chanticleer was sitting on a fence post, then comes the fox. The fox caught Chanticleer by telling him ...

----

about how his father, probably, crowed [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] magnificently, the way he had his chest out, head back, and eyes closed, then he would give a great, magnificent crow. So, Chanticleer [editor wrote "Rv" (?) in the margin, possibly meaning "revise"] expressed too much pride by doing all that, but, just before he crowed, the fox snatched him in his jaws, and ran with the rooster in his mouth. Then, as the fox carries the rooster into the forest, the rooster tells the fox about how clever he was in capturing Chanticleer, and that the fox should shout out how sly and sneaky he was. So, the fox now expressed his pride by...

----

opening his mouth to shout it out, but as he did, the rooster jump out and ran up a tree. And that's [editor circled "t's" and wrote "No contractions" in the margin] how pride got Chanticleer and the fox into trouble.

Now, <s>to conclude this essay,</s> [editor circled "to conclude this essay" and struck it out] Chaucer's Canterbury Tales gives us a great picture of life in the Middle ages. In the "Nun's Priest's Tale," Chanticleer had a dream that showed what was going to happen. And that the Rooster's and the Fox's pride got each other into trouble. And, the rooster and the fox learned <s>that</s> from the mistakes they have made.    <s>Well, that's it for the essay.</s> [editor struck out this last sentence, as well as circling the "t's" in "that's"]
}}
{{collapsible|Planning sheet transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
12/11/98 
English, 1

<center>Canterbury Essay/Nun's Priest's Tale.</center>

F.C.A.'s:
# 4 Paragraphs.
# Strong topic and Clincher sentences for Middle Paragraphs.
# No fragments/No run-ons
# Minimum of 2 examples/incidents in each <s>p</s> Middle Paragraph.
}}
{{collapsible|Grade sheet transcription|
ENGLISH 11 
DORAZIO

<center>''THE CANTERBURY TALES''</center>

<center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>FORMAT</td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> '''(6)''' 4 2 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>CLARITY OF EXPRESSION   </td>
<td><s>10</s> <s>8</s> <s>6</s> <s>4</s> '''(2)''' 0</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table>
<tr>
<td>Four paragraphs</td>
<td>'''(20)''' 15 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Complete sentences   </td>
<td><s>20</s> <s>15</s> '''(10)''' 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Examples/incidents</td>
<td><s>20</s> '''(15)''' 10 5 0</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Topic sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Clincher sentences</td>
<td><s>10</s> '''(8)''' 6 4 2</td>
</tr>
</table>

Total '''69'''/100
</center>
}}

===Japan War Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Outline For Japan War Essay.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay001.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay002.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay003.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay004.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay005.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay006.jpg
File:JapanWarEssay007.jpg
</gallery></center>
A wandering, factually inaccurate essay purported to be about Japan and the United States in World War II, which Chris sagaciously describes as "a very tragic event with [[Megatron pistol|guns]], [[Naïve|insults]], and... [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|yuck]]!". Most of the content is directly cited from other works, several of which are actually about World War ''I''. What little content Chris came up with himself is highly subjective, informally and terribly written (the final draft begins with "this essay is about") and frequently [[Chris and race|racist]]. The thesis, if it can so be called, is extremely vague. There is an outline and two drafts of the essay. What mark he received for it can only be guessed at.

Of note is that despite this essay being for his English class, and being corrected on it in the rough draft, Chris wrote parts of the headings in Spanish, including writing his name as [[Spanish|Ricardo]], on the final draft.

{{quote|So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded... So, the US and Japan really wanted to [[Chris and sex|get it on]].|Christian Weston Chandler, top scholar of WWII history}}

{{quote|At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong"... Even the President of the US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.|Chris, not realizing that the sentence that he [[Plagiarism|quoted]] begins with "At the end of World War I..."}}

{{quote|But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way...|[[United_States_of_America#Chris_on_patriotism|Chris]]}}

{{quote|"Very confusing + unclear."|Chris's English teacher, providing an apt summary of this essay as well as [[Chris and writing|Chris's writing in general]]}}

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<s>Christian W.</s> 
Christian W. Chandler 
4/23/99 
English, 1

intro. paragraph: appetizer. introduce topic and give background info. (thesis).

1st body: veggie.

2nd body: potatoes/rice/pasta.

3rd body: meat.

restate thesis: dessert.

Thesis: Now well see how the Japanese people were involved, how the past affected it, and how <s>the</s> <s>it</s> World War II <s>was</s> really started.

----

<center>Japan, 1912-1949 

Christian W. Chandler : 
<s>4/5/</s> 
5/4/99

English, 1</center>

On my honer, I, Christian Weston Chandler, pledge
that this paper reflects my own thoughts.
Any sources used to support my ideas
have been properly documented.

'''Very confusing + unclear.'''

----

Christian W. Chandler 
5/4/99 
English, 1 

Japan, 1912-1949.

This essay is about the second World
War, where the US went against Germany
and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and... yuck! Now
we will see how Japan was involved, how
the past before it affected it, and how the war
was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but,
<s>"Just a litt</s> [Chris almost forgot to skip a line, but corrected himself]
"Just a little skirmish between Japanese troops
on night maneuvers and Chinese troops guarding
the Marco Polo bridge." (Going to war with Japan, P.3). So the war was started only
because of privacy invasion for U.S. But, even
before that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans
had been glowering at each other like boxers from... →

----

P.2 
...opposite corners of a 5,000-mile ring, waiting
for their bout to begin." (War Against Japan,
P.7). So, US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war,
the Japanese were, "Cloistered on their remote islands,
with little contact beyond the sea, they deemed
themselves as a superior race and the rest of the
world as barbarians." (War Against Japan, P.8).
<s>But [illegible]</s> But the real "barbarians," were the
Japanese themselves. The US thought the same
way, and, "When Japan marched into Manchuria in
1931, the US denounce the action and said they
would never recognize Japan's conquest." (Going to war with Japan, P.4). Right then, the
US wanted to prove themselves more superior. →

----

P.3. 
As the war went on, both sides saw
that it was unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was
viewed as sinister."<s>,and fanatical soldiers [illegible]</s> (Forum).
At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow
Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(Going to War with Japan,<s>)</s> P.4). Even the President
of US tried to put <s>and</s> an end to the nasty
war.

<s>So</s>And so, after the war finally ended,
US and Japan came into peace, and <s>some</s>most people from both sides were happy. Now we saw how the war started, and how much Japan was involved.

----

Ricardo W. Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Inglés, 1

<s>Trabajas</s> "Cited."
Moody, Jr., Sidney C., War Against Japan. 
→ Novato, CA. Peridio Press. © 1994.

Utley, Jonathan G., Going to War with Japan. 
→ Knoxville. University of Tennesee Press. © 1985.

"Tojo Hideki." World War II Commemoration. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20081031224316/http://www.grolier.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html http://WWW.grolies.com/wwii/wwii_tojo.html]

"At 50 years end: The Legacy of War in <s>J</s> Germany 
→ and Japan." Forum. 
→ [http://web.archive.org/web/20000519221203/http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html http://www.smn.co.jp/forum/0068f01e.html].

'''Incorrect format'''

-----

<s>Ricardo</s> <s>(Christian) W.</s> Chandler. 
5/5/99 
Ingles, 1.

Japan, <s>1912-1949</s>: P.1.

''This essay is about'' [teacher circled this and wrote "weak" in margin] the second World War, where the USA
went against Germany and Japan. The war was a very tragic
event with guns, insults, and...''yuck!'' [teacher wrote a "no" sign over this and wrote "no slang" in margin] Now, ''we'' [teacher circled this and wrote "3rd person" in margin] will see how
Japan was involved, how the past before it affected it, and how the war was started.

Like all fights, the war did not start big, but<s>,</s> "Just
a little skirmish between Japanese troops on night maneuvers
and Chinese troops guarding the Marco Polo Bridge." (''<s>Going to War with Japan'', P.</s>3). [Teacher struck through this and wrote "Author" above it] So, the war was started only because the privacy of US was invaded. But, even before
that "skirmish," "The Japanese and Americans had ''deem'' [teacher circled this word]
glowering at each other like boxers from opposite corners of
a 5,000-mile ring, waiting for their bout to begin." (''<s>War Against Japan,'' P</s>.7). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] So, the US and Japan really wanted to
get it on.

During the wait for the start of the war, the Japanese
were, "Cloistered on their remote islands, with little
contact beyond the sea, they deemed themselves as a superior
race and the rest of the world as barbarians." (''War Against Japan,'' P.8). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] But the real "barbarians," were the Japanese people themselves. The US thought the same way, and<s>,</s> "When
Japan marched into Manchuria in 1931, the US denounced the actions, and said they would never recognize Japan's
conquest." (<s>''Going to war with Japan,'' P</s>.4). [teacher wrote "Author" above this as well] Then, the US wanted to prove themselves more superior.

----

<s>P.2.</s>

As the war went on, both sides saw that it was
unwinnable. "Wartime in Japan was viewed as sinister."
(Forum). At near the end of the war, "President Woodrow Wilson tried to get Japan to withdraw from Shandong."
(<s>''Going to War with Japan,'' P.4</s>). Even the President of the
US wanted to put an end to this nasty war.

[teacher wrote "Restate Thesis" in margin] And so, after the war finally ended, the US and Japan
agreed to peace, and most people from both sides were happy.
Now, we saw how the war was started, how the past before it
affected it, and how much Japan was involved.
}}
}}

===Best President Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:BestPresidentEssay001.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay002.jpg
File:BestPresidentEssay003.jpg
</gallery></center>
A typically brief essay for Social Studies class in which Chris explains why John F. Kennedy was the best modern president. Both a rough draft and a final draft are included. While the teacher corrected the final draft, all the notations on the rough draft are in Chris's handwriting. Both drafts are typed. The marking can only be described as generous; Chris constantly changes tense incorrectly, all the paragraphs are terse and uninformative, and Chris even manages to misquote the famous line from Kennedy's inaugural address. Chris received a final grade of 43/50, plus an additional ten points because it was typed. Note that the English teacher who gave him this mark made multiple false corrections, crossed out the same mistake the second time it appeared but not the first time, and did not know how to spell "integrity", and yet she still got hired as a teacher.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
<center>'''TYPE THREE WRITING''' 

'''"WHO WAS OUR BEST PRESIDENT?"''' </center>

Name: Christian Weston Chandler.

Subject Area: Social Studies

Subject Area Teacher: Lockhart

English Teacher: Dorazio

English Period: 1st

----
Christian W. Chandler.

3/25/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

FCA's:

1. Three qualities identified with support. (30 points)

2. Subject/verb agreement. (10 points)

3. Spelling. (10 points)

"Who was our best President" essay:

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton ''is'', [teacher circled this and the word "had" in next two paragraphs and wrote "const. tense" in margin, the tense is actually correct in this case] John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. Three good qualities of Kennedy are that he ''had'' [teacher crossed this out and wrote "possessed"] moral integrity, leadership, and intellect.

Kennedy had ''integrity'' [teacher circled this and wrote "sp." Chris's spelling is not incorrect] when he was President. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and he was a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut. [teacher wrote "weak support" in margin]

Kennedy had leadership when he was a President. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

''And'' [teacher crossed this out] Kennedy had intellect when he was a President. It was obvious; to put $9 billion towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it.[teacher wrote, "another example????"]

''To sum it up'' [teacher crossed this out], John F. Kennedy was the best President; he had moral integrity, leadership, and intellect. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.

[teacher wrote "43/50 +10 typed"]

----
Christian W. Chandler

3/24/99

U.S. Govt., 3.

[At the top of the page, Chris wrote: "F.C.A.'s → 3 qualities I.D. w. support. (30) subject/verb agreement (10) spelling. (10)]

"Who was our best President?" essay (RD): [Rough Draft]

The best President from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clinton is, John F. Kennedy. Kennedy is the best, [Chris crossed out this comma] because he gave the role of Presidency new heights. ''3'' [Chris crossed this out and wrote, "three"] good qualities of Kennedy are that he was honest, a great leader, and pretty smart. [Chris crossed out "was" and replaced these words with "had moral integrety, leadership, and intellect."]

Kennedy was an ''honest''[Here he drew lines to the above handwritten phrase. The paper is cluttered with many other lines meant to incorporate the new phrasing throughout the essay.] president. For one thing, he was honest about his qualities for president. He was a democrat, 42-years old when he ran, he was a congressman and a senator, had a wealthy, catholic family, and a hero in World War II. Even though those were his drawbacks, he used them as an advantage in his television debut.

Kennedy was a great leader. His leadership was expressed when he did two things: when he gave his famous speech, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could do for your country." And when he ended the Cuban Missile Strike by putting the country under "quarantine."

And Kennedy was a very smart man. It was obvious; to put money towards space programs, he probably would have known a possible way to put a man on the moon before he put the money towards it. [Here Chris wrote, "$9,000,000,000.00"]

To sum it up, John F. Kennedy was the best President; he was honest, a good leader, and pretty smart. Compared to the other Presidents from Franklin Roosevelt to Bill Clintion, they could not have said a better speech, or put the money to a better use.
}}
}}

===Warm Fuzzies===
<center><gallery>
File:Warm Fuzzies.jpg
File:Warm Fuzzies2.jpg
</gallery></center>
A page in which Chris's classmates wrote positive things about him, presumably as a teacher-mandated attempt to bring each other "Warm Fuzzies" and promote acceptance among the class. Most of his classmates clearly stuck by the adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, give a light, generic compliment instead." The things they wrote suggest that Chris's [[random-access humor]] was in abundant use by this stage.

<center>{{quotebox|
<big>"Warm Fuzzies" for</big> 
Christian W. Chandler.

I Like [[Chris and fashion|your clothes]] 
Is a very funny and nice person 
O.K 
funny 
you are a nice person 
[[Wristwatch-SwissWatch for Jeremy "Thorg"|Nice watch]] 
Your a very funny guy 
You're a good friend 
You tell great jokes. 
You tell fun Jokes
}}
</center>

===Student Life Essay===
<center><gallery>
File:Intro Work Vs Student Life.jpg
File:Student Life essay 001.jpg
File:Student Life essay 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A planning sheet and rough draft of an essay about how high school students' jobs affect their school performance (not a problem for Chris, of course). Chris inexplicably drew a star at the beginning of each line. An editor (transcribed below '''in bold'''; hopefully a peer, but unfortunately probably the teacher) has made numerous false corrections of things that were not incorrect, as well as making grievous spelling and grammar errors in their written comments.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Intro.: ["Intro." is circled in red pen] 
Work vs. Students' life . 
1st body.: health, sick, tired injuries, death. ["1st body" is circled in red pen] 
2nd body.: social life, family, friends, time, money. 
3rd body.: education, school-related, make-up work, tired, grades. 
Conclusion. Reccomendations. ["Conclusion" is circled in red pen] 
reasons: personal, $, why?, satisfaction [an arrow is drawn from "reasons" and pointing to "1st body" in red pen]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
2/11/99 
English, 1

Work vs. Student Life: (w. 1st body): (rd)

<s>Some High School students have jobs. And some students don't. But, between school and work, I beleive [sic] that during school years, we can waive work, and Save the problem, physically and grade-wise.</s>

'''Health concerns may be a risk to those students who are working.'''

<s>The</s> High School students <s>that</s>'''who''' have jobs, '''may''' could get sick, tired or injured, and could affect their school grades. According to the Man H. S. student work survey, 42% of working students, sometimes oversleep for school. 29% of w-students' grades dropped. 25% students get sick more often. 17%-36% students have a large-moderate amt. of [[stress]]]. 34% students...

----
Christian W. Chandler 
2/12/99 
English, 1

cont... (rd)

...have people at work who stress them out, and 37% say that it comes from co-workers. And 41% students sleep during class. <s>Therefore, all that supports my theory.</s> '''These are all factors of how working will effect a students health.'''

To conclude this essay, I would reccomend that for those students who are interested in a job, to maybe only work on weekends, and wait till the summer to work on weekdays. In fact, according to the survey, if working students had a choice, to quit work or school, 73% said, work is out, school is in. To save on physical and grade-wise problems, we can waive work during the school year.
}}
}}

===S.O.L. Test===
<center><gallery>
File:Student Life essay 003.jpg
</gallery></center>
Chris suggests in this [[Wikipedia:Standards of Learning|Standards of Learning]] (SOL) essay that his high school's [[Minor_CWC-isms|"seinor"]] class should fund the construction of an indoor swimming pool in the gym as their class gift, exhibiting that [[Chris and money|he has no notion of how much that would cost]]. He alludes to gym teachers having ''"wet-wild" times with the students'' in the prospective pool; it's unclear whether this is an attempt at [[Random-access humor|innuendo]] or that Chris genuinely didn't realize how it sounded.
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
3/10/99 
S. O. L. Test, 2

S.O.L. Test:

Every year, the Seinor/Graduating class presents a gift for the school. The money for their gift is taken out of the Seinor fund. Usually, each gift is great for the future students, and the school. My idea for a class gift, would be to have an indoor swimming pool built in the gym area.

With the addittion of the swimming pool, it could do great things for the studnets, and the school, and P.E. classes. Since the students have to wait until next summer to cool off, and exercise in a pool, they could keep those legs and arms "seaworthy" with the pool in the gym. It would also be a great option for P.E. classes, besides basketball, jogging, and weight-lifting, the (PE) teachers could [[Pedofork|have a "wet-wild" time with the students]]. And the school would have a swim-team, and compete with other "pool-filled" schools.

An indoor pool would be a great benefit for the students, school, and P.E. teachers/classes. That is why I think an indoor-swimming pool would be a great graduation gift for the school.
}}
}}

===13 Lucky Writing Tips===
{{main|13 Lucky Writing Tips}}

This document is perhaps the single most baffling example of Chris's writing currently on record, which is [[Chris and English|no mean feat]]. The 13 Lucky Writing Tips are a list of notes Chris took which were most likely suggestions and recommendations (duly ignored) from a textbook that were read off by a teacher.

Directly contradicting the very first item on the list, Chris switches from English to [[Spanish]] '''mid-sentence''' about a third of the way through the list.

==[[Spanish]]==
===Adjectives worksheet===
[[File:Tengo que ir rápido.jpg|thumb]]
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 003.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
This work is dated 8/2/99, most likely referring to 8 February [[1999]] using the [[Wikipedia:Date format by country|Spanish date format]]. Chris used pop culture figures ([[Pokémon]], [[Sonic]], [[Wikipedia:The Powerpuff Girls|''The Powerpuff Girls'']]) to illustrate vocabulary words. Chris's class seems to have watched the Spanish dub of ''The Powerpuff Girls'' in class<ref>[[Katie Bay E-mails 3]]</ref>, so for once he had an excuse for shoving fictional characters into his schoolwork. His Pokémon are revealing: he describes Christian the Charmeleon as ''muy delgado'' ("[[Obesity|very thin]]"), [[Spanish#Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]] the Raichu as ''muy divertido'' ("[[Random-access humor|very funny]]"), and [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] the Beedrill as ''muy feo'' ("very ugly").

This appears to be Chris's earliest reference to Pokemon. It had been introduced in North America four months earlier.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
'''Nombre:''' Ricardo W. Chandler 
'''Fecha:''' 8/2/99

[graded 20/20 in green pen]

<table>
<tr>
<th>'''Palabra (adjetivo)'''</th>
<th>'''Dibujo (en color)'''</th>
<th>'''Oracion completa'''</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>'''grande'''</td>
<td></td>
<td>'''El elefante es muy grande.'''</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>rápido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el puerco erizino es muy rápido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>gordo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mario es muy gordo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>especial</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sra. Boyle es muy especial.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>delgado</td>
<td></td>
<td>Christian el Charmeleon es muy delgado.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>guapo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Sonic el Wartortle es guapo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>divertido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Ricardo el Raichu es muy divertido.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>serio</td>
<td></td>
<td>Flyer el Pidgeot es muy serio en las batallas.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>feo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Cole el Beedrill es muy feo.</td>
</tr>
----
<tr>
<td>malo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rattrap el Ratticate es muy malo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>inteligente</td>
<td></td>
<td>Rocky el Golem es inteligente.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>pelirrojo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Blossom es pelirroja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bajo</td>
<td></td>
<td>Buttercup es baja.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>sempático</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bubbles es muy sempática.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>añtipatico</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dexter es muy antipatico.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>alto</td>
<td></td>
<td>Dee Dee es muy alta.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>aburrido</td>
<td></td>
<td>Mo-Jo<s>-</s>Jo-Jo es muy aburrìdo.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>bueno</td>
<td></td>
<td>Bomberman es muy bueno.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>fuerte</td>
<td></td>
<td>Knuckles el enchidna es muy fuerte.</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

{{clear}}

===''Las Profesiones'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Worksheet 001.jpg
File:Spanish Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
This ungraded worksheet deals with labeling various people with job titles, and then stating whether they are ''bueno o malo'' ("good or bad" – at their work, presumably). Chris refers to Ricardo as a ''bombero'' ("[[Brushfire Video|firefighter]]"), and to [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] as an ''ingeniero técnico'' ("technical engineer"). Demonstrating his mastery of Spanish, Chris described every single person on the worksheet as ''bueno'', and wrote ''de'' ("of") instead of ''es'' ("is") for a few rows, resulting in nonsensical phrases like ''April de reportera de TV bueno.'' ("April of good TV reporter.").
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler.

'''<big>Las Profesiones</big>'''
<table>
<tr>
<th>Dibujo</th>
<th>Formas Diferentes </th>
<th>Nombre en una oración completa </th>
<th>Bueno o Malo ? (oración completa) </th>
<th>Notes</th>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>medico medica medicos medicas </td>
<td>Pablo es medico </td>
<td>Palo es medico bueno. </td>
<td>Doctor</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>profesor profesora profesores profesoras </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora </td>
<td>Claudia es profesora buena </td>
<td>Teacher</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>bombero bombero bomberos bomberos </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero. </td>
<td>Ricardo es bombero bueno. </td>
<td>Fire Fighter </td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>abogado abogada abogaos abogadas </td>
<td>Maro es abogado. </td>
<td>Mario es abogado bueno. </td>
<td>Lawer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>secretario secretaria secretarios secretarias </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria. </td>
<td>Lisa es secretaria bueno. </td>
<td>Secretary</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>fontanero fontanera fontaneros fontaneras </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero. </td>
<td>Mario es fontanero bueno. </td>
<td>Plumber</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td><s>Engineer</s> ingeniero ingeniera ingenieros ingenieras </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero, técnico. <s>bueno</s> </td>
<td>Robert F. Chandler Jr. es ingeniero <s>tech</s> técnico bueno. </td>
<td>Engineer</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>enfermero enfermera enfermeros enfermeras </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera. </td>
<td>Leverne es enfermera bueno. </td>
<td>Nurse</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>arquitecto arquitecta arquitectos arquitectas </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto. </td>
<td>Joe es arquitecto bueno. </td>
<td>Architect</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>dentista dentista dentistas dentistas </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista. </td>
<td>Dr. Webb es dentista bueno. </td>
<td>Dentist</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>camereo camerea camereos camereas </td>
<td>Jose es camereo. </td>
<td>Jose es camereo bueno. </td>
<td>Waiter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>reportero reportera reporteros reporteras </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV. </td>
<td>April de reportera de TV bueno. </td>
<td>Reporter</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>cajero cajera cajeros cajeras </td>
<td>Sara de cajera. </td>
<td>Sara de cajera bueno. </td>
<td>Cashier</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td></td>
<td>presidente presidente presidentes presidentes </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente. </td>
<td>Clinton es presidente bueno. </td>
<td>President</td>
</tr>
</table>
}}}}

===''En mi cuarto'' worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:Chris Old Bedroom Large.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Ricardo W. Chandler

7/12/98

Español, '''4'''

En mi cuarto, <s>yo llavo</s>hay una mochilla [''sic''], una cama, unos videos, <s>una video</s>, unos pósters, un televisón [''sic''], <s>un juego de</s>, unos juegos de videos, un pasador, unos estántes, unos libros, ∧y unos almohadas.

En mi cuarto <s>yo</s> no <s>llavo</s>hay una alfombra, unos discos, un estéreo, un radio despertádor, unas plantas, una cámara, unas cintas, un máquina de escribir, una silla, y una grabadora.
}}}}

Chris describes the contents of [[Chris's room|his room]], circa 1998. His list is, mercifully, not exhaustive.

===''Las profesiones y nacionalidad''===
<center><gallery>
File:Spanish Professions 001 (1).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (2).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (3).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (4).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (5).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (6).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (7).jpg
File:Spanish Professions 001 (8).jpg
</gallery></center>
[[File:Spanish homework - Lego motorcycle police drawing.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and art|Hm, yeah... Looks about right.]]]]
A worksheet which required pictures of six different professions and six different flags, with one profession and flag combination per page, and sentences describing each page (e.g. ''El es un médico cubano'', or "He is a Cuban doctor"). Chris opted to hand-draw each page with Crayola Magic Markers, using [[Lego]] minifigures and/or Lego catalog photos as models. Note that the [[United States of America|United States]] flag (complete with 25 pentagrams and 15 stripes) is depicted waving in the breeze, while the flags of all other nations are shown flat.
{{collapsible|Transcription|
''10/13/98 (due date)'' 
Nombre: ''Ricardo W. Chandler'' 
Clase: ''4'' 
Fecha ''10/11/98''

<big>'''Las profesiones y nacionalidad'''</big>

# Draw, cut from a magazine, or computer generate, six pictures of different professions. ''(color)''
# Pictures musts be in color.
# Each picture must be mounted (glued or taped) on a separate 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. (NO NOTEBOOK PAPER!!)
# At the bottom of each sheet draw a picture of a flag (at least 3 x 5) from a different country. Each sheet must have a different flag. A total of six countries must be represented.
# On a SEPARATE sheet of paper you will write a sentence describing the person's profession and nationality.
:EJEMPLO: ''El es un médico cubano.'' 
:::''Ella es una abogada ínglesa.''

You will be graded on the following:

<table>
<tr>
<td>6 pictures of professions attached to an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Pictures in color.</td>
<td>2 pts.</td>
<td>2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>One flag attached to each profession.</td>
<td><s>8</s> 9 pts.</td>
<td>9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Sentences describing person's profession and nationality.</td>
<td>12 pts.</td>
<td>10</td>
</tr>
</table>

'''TOTAL:''' 30/<s>30</s>/32 
'''GRADE:''' A 
[Teacher wrote "Great pictures" and "''¡Muy creativo!''".]

----

# ''El es un policia Estadounidense.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for missing the ´ mark in ''policía''.]
# ''El es un combatiente Japonés.''
# ''El es un cartero Chino.''
# ''El es un mecánico Españolo.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "o" in ''Españolo'', then changed it to a full point. Note that Chris depicted the Mexican flag, not the Spanish flag, but the teacher apparently didn't notice and/or care.]
# ''El es un bombero Canadiense.''
# ''El es un Constricción trabajadora Italiano.'' [Teacher deducted half a point for the "a" in ''trabajadora''.]
}}

==Chemistry==
===Mock Job Interview===
{{Incomplete|article=false}}

A hypothetical résumé Chris created for a chemistry-related job, plus a score sheet for a mock job interview for such a role. Despite being marked as meeting all of the objectives to an acceptable standard (and some even to a high standard), Chris's employment record turned out to be [[Chris and work|less than stellar]].

<center><gallery>
File:Pretend Job interview Chem Class 001.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 002.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 003.jpg
File:Pretend Job Interview Chem Class 004.jpg
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible|Transcription|
{{quotebox|
<center>
Christian W. Chandler. 
6008 Partingdale CR. 
Richmond, VA 23224. 
Phone #: (804)-674-9474. 
</center>

Objective: I would like to work as an Air Quality Control Chemist in the area of analyzing data and constructing models.

Qualifications: I feel that I am qualified for the position of Air Quality Control Chemist, because of my analytical and inquisitive nature. I question and challenge all aspects of every issue. My education and work experience in the area of chemical science give me the background I need to do an efficient and effective job.

My outstanding talents in drafting designs and building three-dimensional objects gives me a basis on which to build ideas for developing new products and processes. With my mathematical skills, I can calculate the necessary and possible outcome of my ideas.

Work History: 

2005-2010:
<center>
Sales Representative. 
Virginia Power. 
Charlottesville, Virginia.
</center>

2010-2013:
<center>
Computer Engineer. 
R.O.W. Sciences/FDC. 
Hampton, Virginia.
</center>

2013-2017:
<center>
Medicine Researcher. 
Bell & Associates. 
Richmond, Virginia.
</center>

Education:
<center>
Manchester High School, Richmond, Virginia 
Graduated June, 2000 

University of Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia 
B.S., M.S., and PhD. in Chemistry and Mathematics 
Graduated June, 2004
</center>

Interests and Activities: I build models, play video games, create instruction booklets for lego models, and speak Spanish. I am a member of the International Lego Creations Organization, The Pokemon Traders Society, and the Math & Chemistry Club.

Availability: I am available to start work immediately and work overtime during the week.

----

[On the back of his mock resume, Chris wrote "I had help from yahoo.com and my mother." The marker wrote "50/60, 33.1, 83.1/100".]

----

Christian W. Chandler 
3/15/99 
Chemistry, 2 

Questions for Panel:

1. Why are you applying for this job? 
I feel that I have the experience, education, talent, and skills to perform this job.

2. What do you have to offer this company as a chemist? 
My great mathematical skills and knowledge of chemistry.

3. How would you handle a situation where you saw someone stealing from the company? 
I would report the incident to my supervisor.

4. How would you handle an irate co-worker? 
I would ask if I could help, and try to console him/her by talking about other things.

5. If I give you an assignment, out of town, would you accept it? 
It's nice of you to offer, but I would rather have local assignments.

6. Are you available to work weekends? 
I would be glad to work when necessary.

7. How do you feel about working with customers? 
I enjoy working with people.

8. Tell me about your favorite hobby. 
My hobby is building structures with Lego pieces.

9. How does work and hobby and family life work for you? 
I enjoy all elements.

10. Tell me about your family. 
I have a wife and two children, and we enjoy each other's company.

----

}}
}}

===Getting Acquainted===
<center><gallery>
File:Getting Aquainted Chemistry Class.jpg
</gallery></center>
A bingo-like "icebreaker" activity in which the students of the class were supposed to get to know each other by exchanging personal trivia. Chris refused to talk to any [[JERKS|male students]], and left the grid incomplete (including the square he was supposed to fill in himself).

Transcription (classmates' answers in '''bold'''):
<blockquote style="background-color:#f0f0f0">
{| class="wikitable"
|-
|DATE ||''9/8/98'' || CHAPTER ||
|-
|NAME ||''Christian Chandler'' || PERIOD || ''2''
|}

<center>GETTING ACQUAINTED</center>

Have one person from this class sign and complete each of the boxes. Try to remember interesting facts about each of your classmates. See how many different signatures you can collect. Don't waste time.

<center>
{| class="wikitable" style="text-align:center"
|-
|Has an unusual pet. What is it?|| Is taking a music class. '''Heidi''' What period? '''3+7'''||Lives in my neighborhood. What neighborhood?||Has flown in an airplane. '''Sarah''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Moved to this area recently. How long ago?
|-
|Has traveled out of the US. '''Dana''' Where to? '''Korea'''||Has two or more sisters. '''Maranda''' Their names? '''Mandy Megan'''||Dislikes a food I like. What food?||Has a sibling in college. What college?||Is wearing something yellow. What?
|-
|Is older than me. '''Heidi''' How old? '''18'''||Was born outside Virginia. Where?||Me !! Favorite color?||Drove a car to school today. What make?||Is taller than me. How tall?
|-
|Will play a varsity sport. What sport?||Has ridden on a train. '''Kellie''' Where to? '''Florida'''||Attended first grade outside Chesterfield. Where?||Is younger than me. '''Natasha''' How old? '''17 yr.'''||Is in another class with me. What class?
|-
|Has seen "Men in Black". How many times?||Has two or more brothers. Their names?||Has four or more pets. How many?||Likes a food I dislike. What food?||Has a toothbrush the same color as mine. What color?
|}
</center>

Have you completed the box in the center of the grid? When you have completed five boxes in a row (diagonally, horizontally or vertically) show the results to me for my approval and further instructions.
</blockquote>

==Safety Worksheets==
===Safety in the Kitchen worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 001.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 002.jpg
</gallery></center>
A dull worksheet designed to educate children about kitchen safety. This worksheet evidently had little effect on Chris, since he went on to [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slip on cat shit in the kitchen]] and then [[2014 house fire|cause his house to burst into flames]] because of a kitchen-related accident.
{{collapsible|Transcription (Chris's writing in ''italics'')|{{quotebox|
Name ''Christian W. Chandler.'' Date ''10/29/98'' Class Hour     

'''RETEACHING''' 
Section 7.2 
Safety in the Kitchen

<center>'''<big>Safety First</big>'''</center>

The purpose of this activity is to review safety guidelines for working in the kitchen.

'''Directions:''' How well do you know the safety rules that you should follow in the kitchen? Show what you know by answering each question.

'''General Safety''' 
1. What should you do after you open a cabinet door or drawer? Why? 
:''close them ; you could get hurt if you bump into it if it's open.''

2. Where should heavy pots and pans be stored? Why? 
:''low shelves ; you can reach them safely.''

3. What might happen if you wear dangling jewelry or sleeves when working in the kitchen? 
:''they could catch fire or get tangled in appliances.''

'''Preventing Falls''' 
4. What is the safe way to reach something on a high shelf? 
:''use firm step stool.''

5. What should you do if you spill something on the floor of the kitchen? Why? 
:''clean up; to prevent falls.''

'''Sharp Objects''' 
6. Where should knives be stored? 
:''in <s>÷</s> drawer ÷ or rack.''

7. Why shouldn't you soak knives in the sink? 
:''you could cut yourself.''

8. If there is broken glass on the floor, how should you clean it up? 
:''w. wet paper towel .''

<center>(Continued on next page)</center>

'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe''' 
'''43'''

----

Name     Date     Class Hour    

<center>Section 7.2 Reteaching (continued)</center>

'''Electrical Safety''' 
9. What is an important rule to remember about electricity and water? 
:''combined = serious shock.''

10. What could happen if you plug too many appliances into one outlet? 
:''it could start a fire.''

11. What is the correct way to unplug an appliance? 
:''grasp ^cord at electrical outlet.''

'''Hazardous Chemicals''' 
12. Why is it unsafe to mix two cleaning products together? 
:''could give off poisonous fumes.''

13. What should you do before buying any household chemical? Why? 
:''read label <s>caf</s> carefully; to be sure of [?] to follow directions.''

14. Where should household chemicals be stored? 
:''away from food, where children can't reach them, and away from heat source.''

'''Range and Microwave Safety''' 
15. What is the safe way to take a hot pan out of the oven? 
:''using potholders or oven mitts.''

16. What is the safe way to uncover a hot pan on the range? 
:''lift far edge corner first.''

17. What should you do if a fire starts inside the microwave oven? 
:''turn off microwave, and keep door closed 'til fire goes out.''

<center>If you need help, see pages 188-194 in your textbook.</center>

'''44''' 
'''FOOD FOR TODAY RETEACHING ACTIVITIES Copyright © Glencoe'''
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety outline===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 003.jpg
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 004.jpg
</gallery></center>
An outline on kitchen safety. As with the worksheet, Chris failed to absorb most of the guidelines here, unless [[2009-2016 tweets#29_June_2013|"putting bandages on our Mom's holey buttocks"]] counts as "[guarding] against pests/bugs".
{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
Christian W. Chandler 
10/29/98 
Food 4 Fit., 7

Safety:

I. A. Hold knife by handle cut away from finders; use cutting board. 
:B. Wash knives seperately. 
:C. Insert beaters or blades before plugging in 
:D. Beware of sharp edges on can lids. 
:E. Clean up glass w. wet paper towel.

II. Prevent Burns: 
:A. Use wooden spoons to stir. 
:B. Use potholders for both stove & microwave. 
:C. Turn pan handles to center. 
:D. Lift far side of pot's lid; so steam escapes away from you. 
:E. Don't put fry pans on table - drape extension cords. 
:F. Run cold water on any burning skin

III. Prevent Fires: 
:A. Keep all flammable materials away from burners. 
:B. Don't wear loose garments; big steeves. 
:C. Keep stove top and oven free of grease; clean hood. 
:D. Smother grease fire; turn off heat, then cover. 
:E. Turn off gas stove... if you smell gas.

IV. Prevent Shocks: 
:A. 1 appliance in 1 outlet at a time; unplug when not in use. 
:B. No fray cords/broken.

→

----

:C. Keep electrical appliances away from water or wet hands. 
:D. Don't stick metal utensils in a toaster.

V. Prevent Falls: 
:A. Clean Up spills. 
:B. Remove anything you might trip over; toys; shoes, etc... 
:C. Use a step stool... not a chair or box. 
:D. Non-slip rugs.

VI. Prevent Spread of Bacteria and Germs. 
:A. Sanitize surfaces; soap<s>,</s> and bleach (use). 
:B. Wash hands. 
:C. Keep hair up. 
:D. don't use stirring spoon to taste. 
:E. sneeze/cough.... rewash hands. 
:F. wash fruits, vegetables, can tops. 
:G. <s>guad a</s> guard against pests/bugs. 
:H. Store foods properly.. shelf life. 
:I. Fats/Protein (meat, fish, milk, eggs, poultry, mago), bacteria grows fast, wash any surface they have been on <s>bf</s> before re-using.

VII. Prevent food poisoning: 
:A. Avoid danger zone, 60°-125°F, when bacteria grows fast.

→
}}
}}

===Kitchen Safety true/false worksheet===
<center><gallery>
File:CWC Safety Worksheet 005.jpg
</gallery></center>
A true/false worksheet on kitchen safety. Chris's answers have been corrected and each has been marked with either a checkmark or a smiley, with no apparent pattern.

{{collapsible|Transcription|{{quotebox|
''Christian W. Chandler''

<center>Kitchen Safety</center>

True or False

 ''f''  ✓  1. Grease and oils are non-flammable liquids. ["non-flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ✓  2. It takes approximately one hour for grease to burst ''15-20 min.'' into flames. 
 ''t''  ✓  3. Tie long hair back while preparing food. 
 ''f''  ✓  4. It is okay to wear long, loose sleeves while cooking. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 5. The quickest way to put out a glease fire is with water. 
 ''f''  ✓  6. Turn burners on to "high" to allow the frying pan to reach the maximum heat quicker. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺  7. If you have a choice, cook on back burners. 
 ''t''  ✓  8. Never move a pan that is on fire. 
 ''t''  ✓  9. If a pan fire occurs, cover quickly with a cookie sheet then turn off the burner. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 10. If a fire occurs in an oven, shut the door and turn off the heating source. 
 ''t''  ✓ 11. Metal may cause arcing and fires in the microwave. 
''<s>f</s> t'' ☺ 12. Sugars and jellies can reach scalding temperatures in the microwave. 
''<s>t</s> f'' ☺ 13. One-half of fire deaths are caused by kitchen fires. 
 ''f''  ✓ 14. If your clothes catch on fire, run to the nearest water supply. 
 ''t''  ✓ 15. Hairspray is a flammable liquid. ["flammable" is circled] 
 ''f''  ☺ 16. Baking soda is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ☺ 17. Flour is a combustible powder. ["combustible" is circled] 
 ''t''  ✓ 18. Smoke alarms should be checked frequently ''monthly'' to see if they are in working condition. 
 ''f''  ✓ 19. Run hot water on burns.
}}
}}

==References==
<references/>

{{Education}}
{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Education]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:High School Saga]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T19:41:06Z

MarcelDubois: /* Mistakes */

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs supporte y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details supporte y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' were a noun. However, ''estancé'' (''estanqué'') literally translates to "I stagnated". It is clear Chris believes it means "sentence"; the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración''. Also, instead of ''finallié'', the correct word is ''final'' .

-The Spanish equivalent of "introductory" is believably ''introductorio'' and the word for "paragraph" is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate ''escribes'' into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of "thesis" is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for "name". Anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "He calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun, it would be feminine and take the article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''supporte'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-He erroneously uses ''paragraph'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-He uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés'', as well as the word ''unifying'' when the correct word is ''unificante''. ''unifying'' is also a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-He doesn't contract ''de'' and ''el'' into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for "details" is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''supporte'', ''relate'', ''estánce'', and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-He doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for "adequate" is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''supporte'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for "literature" is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-He uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for "very", ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho''.

-He uses ''pointé'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in some way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense: he flops between ''crear'' ("create") and ''creer'' ("believe") and neither really parses. He could be attempting the subjunctive of either verb, but even if his two-year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood, he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for "carefully" is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''Cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T19:31:32Z

MarcelDubois: corrected spellings to those that appear on the paper itself, and format and grammar correction

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs supporte y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details supporte y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' was a noun. However, ''estancé'' (''estanqué'') literally translates to "I stagnated". It is clear Chris believes it means "sentence"; the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración'', also the word is ''final'' instead of ''finallié''.

-The Spanish equivalent of "introductory" is believably ''introductorio'' and the word for "paragraph" is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate ''escribes'' into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of "thesis" is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for "name". Anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "He calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun, it would be feminine and take the article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''supporte'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-He erroneously uses ''paragraph'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-He uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés'', as well as the word ''unifying'' when the correct word is ''unificante''. ''unifying'' is also a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-He doesn't contract ''de'' and ''el'' into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for "details" is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''supporte'', ''relate'', ''estánce'', and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-He doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for "adequate" is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''supporte'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for "literature" is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-He uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for "very", ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho''.

-He uses ''pointé'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in some way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense: he flops between ''crear'' ("create") and ''creer'' ("believe") and neither really parses. He could be attempting the subjunctive of either verb, but even if his two-year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood, he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for "carefully" is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''Cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

13 Lucky Writing Tips

2025-12-11T18:51:33Z

MarcelDubois: /* Mistakes */

{{quote|1. Use standard written English. ... 4. The thesis statement es el finallié estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé. ... 13. Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.|Selected writing tips}}

[[File:13 Lucky Writing Tips.jpg|thumb|The paper.]]

'''13 Lucky Writing Tips''' is a school paper recovered in the [[Manchester High Leaks]]. It details a list of techniques to improve rhetoric. It is likely [[Chris]] simply wrote them down as a teacher read them off, as he begins disregarding them as soon as tip #4, switching from standard written English to Spanish in order to flex his Peggy Hill-esque grasp on the language.
It is possible that Chris actually invented a new kind of grammatical error: for most learners of a new language it is a common mistake to use false cognates (a word that seems like a word in their own language but has a completely different meaning), but Chris pushes the envelope by using ''assumed'' cognates, words that don't exist in the language at all, that Chris made up. Thus, this document is a candid example of Chris's [[Chris and Spanish|poor grasp of the Spanish language]].

{{collapsible|Transcription|
Christian W. Chandler 
1/19/99 
English, 1

13 Lucky Writing Tips:
# Use standard written English.
# Do not use contractions in formal writing.
# You must have a thesis statement in each essay.
# The thesis statement es el finallié <s>sentenc</s> estancé de íntroductóry paragraphé.
# Tú escribes de literáture, el thesis inclúr el <s>[illegible]</s> llama de author y llama de work.
# Los paragraphs support y relaté qúe el thesis.
# Los paragraphs tienes el topic estancés, hablan el unifying concepto de el paragraph.
# Los details support y relate a el topic estánce de paragraph.
# Neccisitas los adequáte supporte details.
# Escribe el literáture en presénte tense.
# Necisitas tres muchaco <s>point</s> mirar de pointé.
# Necisitas creas muy bein tu escribes cree sense y es muy logicál.
# Cheques tu escribir muy carefully.
}}

==Mistakes==
'''Line 4'''

-''finallié'' would go after ''estancé'' if ''estancé'' was a noun, however estancé (estanqué) literally translates to ''I stagnated'', it is clear Chris believes it means sentence, the correct word is ''frase'' or ''oración'', also the word is ''final''.

-The Spanish equivalent of introductory is, believably ''introductorio'' and the word for paragraph is ''párrafo''.

'''Line 5'''

-Chris neglects to conjugate "escribes" into the imperative ''escribe''.

-The Spanish form of ''thesis'' is spelled ''tesis''.

-He misspells and erroneously uses the infinitive form of ''incluir''.

-He uses ''llama'' as the translation for ''name'', anyone who has been to one day at a Spanish class likely knows that ''llama'' is a verb and means ''call'', while the correct word would be ''nombre''. It is to be noted that ''llamar'' is a pronominal verb and, as such, can be conjugated in reflexive form; Spanish speakers often use this form to introduce themselves or other people (e.g., ''Él se llama Ricardo'', lit. "he calls himself Ricardo", as opposed to the common English construct, "His name is Ricardo"). This is likely the origin of Chris's confusion. Furthermore, if ''llama'' were a noun it would be feminine and addressed with the feminine article ''la''.

-The Spanish word for work in this sense is ''obra'' or ''proyecto'', which is usually part of school-related Spanish vocabulary, so he should know.

'''Line 6'''

-Chris uses the words ''support'' and ''relaté'' in lieu of ''apoyan'' and ''relacionan''.

-Erroneously uses ''paragragh'' and ''thesis''.

'''Line 7'''

-Chris uses the 2nd person singular (you) conjugation for ''tener''.

-Uses ''paragraph'' and ''estancés as well as the word ''unifying'' when the word is "unificante", also ''unifying" is a modifier and would go after ''concepto''.

-When the words ''de'' and ''el'' are used consecutively they are contracted into ''del''.

'''Line 8'''

-The Spanish word for ''details'' is ''detalles'', Chris also uses ''support, relaté, estancé,'' and ''paragraph''.

-He uses ''topic'' when he means ''tema''.

-Doesn't contract ''a'' and ''el'' into ''al''.

'''Line 9'''

-The word for ''adequate'' is ''adecuado''.

-He repeats ''support'' and ''details''.

'''Line 10'''

-The Spanish word for ''literature'' is ''literatura'' and is feminine.

-Again Chris puts the adjective before the noun like in English.

-Uses ''tense'' when he means ''tiempo''.

'''Line 11'''

-Chris begins speaking French somehow, and uses the French word for very, ''tres'', and uses ''muchaco'' instead of ''mucho'', literally writing "very boy".

-He uses ''points''/''pointe'' when he means ''punto''.

-It is not clear what the sentence is supposed to mean but it is wrong in ''some'' way.

'''Line 12'''

-This sentence makes no sense, he flops between ''crear'' (create) and ''creer'' (believe) and neither really parse. He could be employing the subjunctive of either verb but even if his two year Spanish class got to the subjunctive mood he [[Manchester High Leaks|most certainly didn't learn it.]]

'''Line 13'''

-While this may be the most correct line, the Spanish word for carefully is ''cuidadosamente''.

-''Cheques'' is not conjugated into the imperative ''cheque''.

[[Category:Manchester High Leaks]]

Sonichu 8

2025-12-01T04:57:51Z

MarcelDubois: /* Rage Against the Garbage */ The nipples are the only thing that evert during arousal. The breasts are always there, according to the diagram; they’re just featureless.

{{Honest}}
{{deadLinks}}
{{quote|SillyBeachFrenzy08|Chris's title for his file of the censored comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties8a.png]]</ref>}}
{{quote|CrazyBeachFrenzy08|Chris's title for his file of the uncensored comic<ref>[[:File:Sonichupdfproperties8b.png]]</ref>}}
{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #8
| cover = Sonichu8.jpg
| coverdate = 20 August 2008
| finishedcomic = 1 January 2009 (revised 10 [[July 2019]])
| pagecount = 101
| episodes = 17-18
| sub-episodes = 3
| previous = [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]]
| next = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
}}

'''''Sonichu'' #8''' is the ninth comic in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic series]]. Based on the cover, this was originally planned as a [[Rosechu]] Spring Break special, featuring both [[Blanca Weiss]] and her character [[Jiggliami]] as introduced in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. However, by [[August 2008]], Chris's focus was entirely on the [[trolls]], and that greatly altered the shape of this issue.

Chris unveiled Episode 17 in September 2008 without having first completed the entire issue, in a break from the established tradition. Rather than featuring a Spring Break story, Episode 17 presents a story of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and Rosechu fucking until they discover ''slanderous mislabelings'' on a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], whereupon Rosechu poses for nude photos of herself to prove that she doesn't have a penis. The rest of the comic deals with the Spring Break element as a means to psychotically address the relationship statuses of the Sonichus and Rosechus. Even though Chris had temporarily stranded his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|comic self]] in the [[Time Void]] as to focus his attention on Sonichu, the story instead treats all the hedgehogs as more of an ensemble cast, which would take hold for the rest of the series.

In the end, the long-awaited Spring Break story would appear as Episode 18, although it would not be completed for several more months following [[Blanca]]'s betrayal of Chris, his subsequent [[Stress|depression]], and the massive distraction provided by playing ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''. Chris would not return to work on the comic until he was told of a boy named [[Ryan Cash]] who, despairing of ever seeing his beloved ''Sonichu'' comics again, committed suicide. Ryan's tragic story, and the sadness of his mourning brother [[Clyde Cash]], prompted Chris to redouble his efforts, and Rosechu finally got to go on Spring Break in the dead of winter.

''Sonichu'' #8 proved to be widely condemned, primarily due to the hardcore sex scenes between Sonichu and Rosechu, who had previously been described as being 16 and 15, respectively. Chris rushed to include scenes in this issue that would firmly establish both characters as being of legal age to avoid accusations of child pornography.

==Development==
A few months before Episode 18, several plot points were leaked in [[Chris Sex Logs|audio conversations]] Chris had with his then-sweetheart.
{{clear}}

==Public Service Announcement==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|right|thumb|The disclaimer, as it appeared originally.]]
Before the prologue, Chris has a page dedicated to a disclaimer by [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. Rosechu assures their readers that she and Sonichu are both over 18, and they like to 69. She then promotes safe sex. Sonichu then promotes Chris's warped morals about sex education.
{{clear}}

==Episode 17: "Rage Against the Garbage"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 17''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_1 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_8_Official_Videobook#Episode_17{{!}} ''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P1.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phFqXLjEt5s&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=23 ''Episode 17 (1 of 4)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSw31YVQ_8c&index=24&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (2 of 4)''
}}
The story opens with a number of proclamations from Chris, preparing unsuspecting readers for the horrors that they are about to witness:

*Sonichu turned 19 on March 17, [[2007]].
*Rosechu turned 18 on December 22, [[2006]].
*As of November 3, 2007, the pair have been living in a house in the suburbs of [[CWCville]]. The house has been fully paid for with [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayer dollars]].

Worth noting is that Sonichu and Rosechu's house is yellow and pink, just like its occupants.

Inside, Sonichu shows off his bare ass to the reader, while Rosechu emerges from the bathroom in pink lingerie. The pair engage in disgusting pre-coital banter, which may even be post-coital since Rosechu suggests they just got done showering together. We also learn that Sonichu has a seven-inch (18 cm) cock, and requires "double-extra length" condoms for safe sex (but anyone who has ever paid attention in health class can tell you that regular-sized condoms can fit Sonichu perfectly).

The two monsters engage in what they call "Missionary Cowgirl", apparently unaware that these are two completely opposite sexual positions. Rosechu responds by saying, "I think I can hotshot. Insert rod 'A' into slot 'B'." (The slot line is [[Things Chris has ripped off|borrowed]] from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

In a moment of illusory mercy, Chris interrupts the action to discuss the nature of Sonichu and Rosechu's reproductive organs. In fact, the reader is subjected to a new kind of horror, as Chris clumsily attempts to explain how naked cartoon characters can have tits and balls. For the most part, Sonichu/Rosechu biology is a sick parody of human anatomy, with the following key distinctions:

*A Rosechu's vagina or "[[china]]" is normally hidden from view by some hideous flap of skin, which recedes during urination, sexual arousal, or a "[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|psych-up]]" attack.
*[[Rosechu (species)|Rosechu]] nipples appear only when aroused, "for sensual massage". This creates the horrifying implication that Rosechus can only nurse their young when horny.
*Rosechus possess a "V-shaped pouch" behind their vaginal opening, which apparently serves the same function as a human uterus.
*A [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]'s penis and testicles reside entirely within its abdominal cavity. While the testicles are permanently contained behind a "bone-like structure" for protection, the penis can emerge for urination or intercourse when the Sonichu leans forward, causing the erect penis to "slide out" purely by gravitational force. This presumably means Sonichu must be erect to urinate.
*Sex may be painful for Rosechu the first time, even causing her to bleed from her hymen, but it soon begins to feel like "a sensual massage."
*Sexually transmitted diseases are unheard of in the Sonichu/Rosechu population, which makes sense, given that there are fewer than twenty of the little freaks, and most of them were created abiogenetically.
*If impregnated, the resulting zygote is gestated within the mother Rosechu for "a few months," after which the Rosechu deposits an egg outside of her body, and must keep it warm until the infant [[Sonee]] or [[Rosey]] hatches. This reveals that all Rosechus are {{w|monotremes}} (egg-laying mammals).
Chris also declares that "most" STIs can be treated and removed, although it is unclear if he is referring to human STIs or bug-eyed furfag STIs. He refers the readers to local libraries and the internet for more information and then returns to the hideous yiffing scene in the Sonichu household.

Chris treats the readers to a cock-eye view of Sonichu's penis falling out of his pelvis. As they 69 each other, Rosechu emits disgusting blue fumes from her ungodly orifice, which Sonichu appears to savor. Sonichu finally penetrates Rosechu with his sickening yellow member, and Chris depicts numerous scenes of past intercourse between the two wretched creatures. Grasping Rosechu's tail, Sonichu pounds away at Rosechu's gaping hole, until the two finally reach orgasm simultaneously.
{{clear}}

===Rage Against the Garbage===
{{Resources
| title = Rage Against the Garbage
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 17''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_3 ''Episode 17''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Part_3{{!}} ''Episode 17''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9TVY7P2.htm ''Episode 17''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhqY2aJIwHQ&index=25&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (3 of 4)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01HCMw7LIk4&index=26&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 17 (4 of 4)''
}}
[[Image:Chris and Rule 34.jpg|thumb|300px|right|"[[Chris and art|They look so life-like.]]"]]
[[Image:Rosechustrips1.png|thumb]]
[[Image:Bigboss.JPG|thumb|200px|right|"What a show!"]]
Twelve hours later, Sonichu seeks out even more putrid beast-sex from his sow, but Rosechu is too engrossed in her discovery of a website called [[4-cent_garbage.com]], which defames the good names of not only Sonichu and Rosechu, but their father [[Christian Weston Chandler (character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] as well. Rosechu shows Sonichu various drawings of them and their friends (in fact, the [[Rule 34]] images Chris himself uploaded to [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]), and Sonichu mistakes them for photographs.

Rosechu goes on to show him the "apex" of the site, referring to numerous drawings of herself with male genitalia. Overcome with nausea, Sonichu vomits. Unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, Sonichu insists that Rosechu is female, and cites her photoshoot in ''PokéBoy'' magazine as proof of her gender. Thinking that the dickgirl pictures were created by mistake rather than malice, Sonichu suggests they "prove" Rosechu's womanhood to 4-cent_garbage.com's staff in person. He nearly faints with weakness, and Rosechu puts him to bed to sleep off the trauma of seeing cartoon penises on the internet.

Incensed, Rosechu decides to retaliate by producing an amateur photoshoot and uploading it to 4-cent_garbage.com to counter the dickgirl artwork. Her efforts are fruitless, however, as even more Rosechu-with-penis drawings are uploaded all the time. Rosechu decides to consult [[Bubbles]] and [[Angelica]] for help.

At 1:45 that afternoon, Sonichu, Rosechu, and [[Wild Sonichu]] are teleported to the 4-cent_garbage.com building in Clarksville, Tennessee, courtesy of [[Magi-Chan]]. While Rosechu seeks to confront the [[Jason Kendrick Howell|head of the company]] and protest the website, Wild has been tasked with locating one of the [[Sonichu Balls]], which Magi-Chan detected inside (likely in some feeble attempt by Chris to tie this story into the overall plot). While Sonichu contacted the mysterious head of the company to make their appointment, the only name given was "Jason." In a pathetic attempt at subtlety, Chris depicts [[Thurston Howell III]] and his wife walking down the street to hint at Jason's full name.

For no reason whatsoever, Wild expounds upon his childhood, telling a tedious story about how his father, a [[Scyther]], was captured by poachers in the jungle. He makes clear that he intends to avenge his father's death, despite not having mentioned it once since he was introduced. Wild turns invisible (a skill he learned from a passing Porygon), and slips into the building.

Sonichu and Rosechu enter through the main door and find a [[Beel|demonic receptionist]] in the hellish atrium of the building. He rudely directs Sonichu to the 72nd floor (66+6). In the elevator, Sonichu angrily whines about the receptionist, until Rosechu reminds him of the [[story of Joseph]], and its moral of [[Death threats|forgiveness]].

As Sonichu and his pink cum-dumpster ascend the building in the elevator, they stop regularly to check out the [[4-cent_garbage#The_elevator_gags|strange things happening on every floor]]. Why Sonichu and Rosechu would stop at each floor to look at whatever's going on is never explained, but they clearly react to whatever they see, meaning that they must have pressed all the buttons on the elevator controls for no reason. Much of the material featured in these pages were images lifted directly from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], whether Chris understood their context or not.

On the 36th floor, Wild finds a Sonichu ball in an empty room. Holding both of his Balls somehow prevents Wild from using his invisibility power, or contacting [[Magi-Chan]] for extraction. Wild is left with no choice but to sneak out of the building on his own, which is implied to be a feat of great difficulty despite the building containing a total of three adversaries.

On the 72nd floor, Sonichu and Rosechu confront Jason, who introduces himself as a 20-year-old [[troll]], and his companion [[Kathleen]] as his "minory 17-year old woman," with whom everything he does is "illegal in these 50 states". When he bids the Electric Hedgehogs to state their case, Sonichu delivers a moving speech to convince Jason that the website needlessly drags names through the mud and that it's morally wrong to troll innocent people. Jason responds by saying that the page will stay up forever.

Enraged, Sonichu attacks Jason, but he is no match for the troll's awesome powers. Rosechu elects to withdraw, preferring to forgive Jason since there is no reasoning with him. The two leave with their arms around each other, and Chris pointlessly interrupts the story to explain how the two crimes against nature can touch each other's spiny backs without getting hurt.

Adding insult to injury, Jason tosses a [[pickle]] at Rosechu, striking her on the back of the head. Pushed to the breaking point, Rosechu crushes the pickle, strips nude, and leaps into the air to attack Jason.

With ferocious roars (and a good deal of [[Things Chris has ripped off#Kekko Kamen|plagiarism]]), Rosechu lands pelvis-first on Jason's head and wraps her tail and legs around his body, SHOVING his face up her [[China|vagina]]. With sadistic glee, she claws open his head and bites down on the wound, then unleashes a powerful burst of electrical power. Sonichu even says she "had him going." Though dark forces somehow sustain Jason's life, he admits that the attack would have otherwise been fatal. Exhausted, Rosechu gathers her clothes and leaves with Sonichu. While he is impressed with her display of raw fury, Rosechu is horrified at her primal rage and makes some mention that she "transformed" into "[[The Incredible Lioness|some monster]]," expressing concern that "this thing" won't overtake her again. If Sonichu were a better comic, this might be interpreted as foreshadowing, but since it's Chris, this event will never be mentioned again.

Outside, the three Hedgehogs reunite, and Magi-Chan teleports them back to [[CWCville]].
{{clear}}

===Epilogue===

Later, Rosechu hosts a gathering of other Rosechus to protest [[4-cent_garbage.com]] and uphold [[Women's rights]] by producing pornographic photoshoots. In addition to [[Bubbles]], [[Angelica]], and [[Lolisa]], the group is joined by [[Simonla Rosechu]], who supplies the backdrops for the shoot and volunteers her services as a model. The group is also joined by [[Zapina Rosechu]], a fourteen-year-old who desperately wants to [[pedofork|"volunteer her services of cuteness"]] to the project and join in the stripping fun. Citing "dumb" laws<ref>While many argue that Chris is referring to "dumb laws" against child pornography, it is plausible he's referring to "dumb" child labor laws which would prohibit Zapina from participating in setting up lights, cameras, etc. for the photoshoot. In any case, Chris thinks it's "dumb" that a fourteen-year-old can't work, sexually or otherwise.</ref>, Rosechu refuses her help, but Lolisa offers to supervise Zapina as she uses the light from her mutant ass to illuminate the photoshoot.
{{clear}}

===Advertisement===

Chris introduces the Knothole in an ad filled with [[random-access humor]]. Some might consider this a [[parody]] of a parody, which [[Parody#Hypocrisy|Chris feels is improper]]. However, Chris has cleverly pre-empted such accusations by labeling it a tribute, turning the tables on his critics with the power of his high-functional mind.
{{clear}}

==Episode 18:"Spring Break, 2008!"==
===Prologue===
{{Resources
| title = Prologue
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 18''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_60 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}} ''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P33.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjBme409Hx0&index=27&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 18 (part 1 of 3)''
| audiobook2 =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8TQ3vE7Z4U&index=28&list=PL12A55E9C82971031 ''Episode 18 (part 2 of 3)''
}}
[[Image:LikeFatherLikeSon.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu squeezes and kisses Rosechu and leaves her feeling extremely uncomfortable. [[Megan|Like father, like son!]]]]
Apparently ''still'' concerned that someone will accuse him of being a [[Pedofork]], Chris establishes ''yet again'' that his characters are of legal age, this time by actually showing the birthday parties held for most of the main cast since Episode 17. Rosechu turns 19 on December 22, 2007; the [[Chaotic Combo]] turn 19 on February 2, 2008; and Sonichu turns 20 on March 17, 2008.

Finally, [[Black Sonichu]] celebrates his birthday in a private get-together with [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. Blake disputes that he even has a birthday since he was cloned from Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]] and thus not born of a Rosechu's uterus (which is stupid because all the other Sonichus and Rosechus were hatched from fucking eggs anyway). Bubbles, however, insists that he is a 20-year-old "starting straight with an 11-year old body". Bubbles asks Blake what he wished for and he says "It's already come true", where Chris is either butchering the classic teen film "{{w|Sixteen Candles}}" or the Family Guy parody of it. The two kiss and Black Sonichu agrees to rendezvous with Bubbles at the CWCville Spring Break Concert on March 22.

Chris introduces Spring Break by ripping off a gag from a ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode, wherein Meg Griffin tries to ignore Spring Break by flipping channels, only to find that every station is covering Spring Break, including the news. Chris repeats the joke almost verbatim, except he fails to include anyone actually watching the television, rendering the joke incoherent. The scene is best remembered for the appearance of ''[[Excel-Saga|FQX]]'' newswoman Greta Squall, a hideously deformed woman with club-like arms and scars on her face which look like the numeral "2".
{{clear}}

===Spring Break, 2008!===
{{Resources
| title = Spring Break, 2008!
| facebook =https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/media_set?set=a.522346341193183.1073741841.100002534669114&type=3 ''Episode 18''
| cwcipedia =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_8/Page_66 ''Episode 18''
| videobook =Sonichu_7_Official_Videobook#Episode_18{{!}} ''Episode 18''
| sonichusite =http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcville/SchuComic9P2.htm ''Episode 18''
| audiobook =https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_85HJpRE_DA&list=PL12A55E9C82971031&index=29 ''Episode 18 (part 3 of 3)''}}
The story proper opens with [[KCWC]] DJs [[Jamsta Sonichu]] and [[Lolisa Rosechu]] covering the event.

{{quote|We have a lot of great events and giveaways goin' on here today. Thank our mayor, Mr. [[Christian Weston Chandler]] that [[CWCville]] is a clean city; nobody has to go home drunk or somkey! We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious [[CWC-Cola]], Diet CWC-Cola, Lemonade, Grape and Orange Soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola Bottling Company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]] You can enter to win a 40-inch Sony HD-TV from Cwick-Circuit City, or drive home in a shiny new '08 Chevy Camaro Concept. Also tonight, our rising star, [[Jiggliami]] will be singing her debut single, "War of Love" on the concert stage here at CWCville Beach. So stay tuned to CWCville, [[Virginia]]'s number 1 radio station for all this and a lot more!|Jamsta Sonichu, desperately craving nicotine and liquor.}}

Almost immediately, Lolisa excuses herself to take a swim.

On the stage, Jiggliami and [[Blanca]] eagerly await their performance. As in their appearance in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], both of them babble incoherently about their music. Blanca maintains that she will wait for Chris to return from the [[Time Void]] — ironic since Blanca had betrayed Chris long before this episode was uploaded to the internet.

On the beach, the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] enjoy themselves. Like Franklin from ''{{w|Peanuts}}'', characters with suntans are depicted with vertical lines for shading. When Chris does it, though, it just looks like the characters are shaking uncontrollably, teleporting, or just soaked with [[comeuppance|liquid]]. While Sonichu heads off to surf, the Rosechus lie on the beach.

Responding to a question asked by [[Angelica]], Bubbles explains at length that she does not need sunscreen because she is incapable of tanning and impervious to sunburn. This has something to do with her being a Water-type Pokémon, her body being composed of 90% water (about the same as a watermelon), and her fur being capable of adapting itself to her surroundings. This rant comes despite no Rosechu or Sonichu ever being shown to tan, and how they would tan at all if covered in fur is anybody's guess.

The Rosechus notice a mysterious black Rosechu, and later catch up with [[Megagi]] and [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]. [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[PandaHalo]] make a cameo appearance as well.

Bubbles's sunbathing is interrupted when Magi-Chan contacts her to collect a [[Sonichu Ball]] from the ocean. Before she can get up to find the ball, Black Sonichu kicks sand on the girls. Rosechu threatens to attack him, but Bubbles offers to do it herself and pretends to force Black Sonichu away from the others. While she and Blake seem determined to hide their relationship, Rosechu and Angelica secretly know the truth and laugh at the transparency of Bubbles's ruse.

Chris incorporates a drawing of Sonichu surfing by PandaHalo, yet he manages to ruin the continuity by drawing in different colored water around the edges of the picture. Also, Sonichu wasn't wearing his shoes earlier, but Panda's drawing shows him wearing shoes.

Elsewhere on the beach, Bubbles tells Blake of her mission to find the Sonichu Ball, and they agree to meet at Pier 969 later for disgusting sex. Little do they know that the black Rosechu from before has eavesdropped on their conversation. As she transforms into a duplicate of Bubbles, Chris introduces her as [[Silvana Rosechu]] and explains that hers was the ''sixth'' egg that emerged from the [[Rainbow]] along with the five eggs that became the Chaotic Combo. Silvana's egg wound up on the Earth's [[moon]] (Chris predictably does not explain how) where [[Count Graduon]] somehow made telepathic contact with her in [[1980s#1989|1989]]. As Mewtwo mentored the infant Magi-Chan Sonichu, so did Graduon raise Silvana. In addition to training her in the ways of evil, Graduon "upgraded" Silvana to have both [[Hermaphrodite|male and female genitalia]], and enabled her to change her shape.

In the Atlantic Ocean, Bubbles searches for the Sonichu Ball, passing by fan-favorite character [[Yawning Squirtle]], among other crappily drawn Pokémon who sing the song "Under the Sea" from ''{{w|The Little Mermaid (1989 film)|The Little Mermaid}}'', [[Things Chris has ripped off|yet another thing Chris has ripped off]].

Magi-Chan informs Bubbles that the Ball is claimed to be 5 miles (8 km) out to sea and, helpfully, "2,000-5,000 fathoms" (2.3 - 5.7 mi / 3,700 - 9,100 meters) below the surface, which is impossibly deep for Bubbles to dive (the deepest point of all the oceans is 6.8 mi / 10,900 meters). Chris likely used "fathom" (6 feet / 183 cm) as a measurement of depth without bothering to find out how big a fathom was.

Meanwhile, Black Sonichu buys condoms in anticipation of the nasty, dirty animal sex he intends to share with his revolting mate. Silvana, posing as Bubbles, meets him, and convinces him not to wear a condom. Blake agrees, never suspecting Silvana's power to ejaculate a "paralyzing sleep solution" during intercourse. At Pier 969, Blake humps the foul creature, never suspecting that his cock is possibly ramming up against Silvana's own penis, which is perhaps withdrawn inside her vagina. Blake passes out from the effects of Silvana's seed, and she teleports him to a closet in the CWCville Beach stage. From there, she returns to Pier 969 disguised as Black Sonichu and lays the same trap for Bubbles. What she had actually intended to ''do'' after systematically seducing, raping, and subduing the various [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|recolors]] is never elaborated upon.

Before Bubbles goes to the pier, she hands off the Sonichu Ball to Angelica to ferry back to [[CWCville Mall]]. As she flies off, [[Punchy]] and Wild discuss their sex lives. Punchy wants to bang Angelica, and Wild seems uncertain what to do about his own loneliness. The two resolve to enroll in a [[Dating Education]] course offered at CWCville University, thus setting up the [[Sonichu 9|next shitty issue]].

[[File:BubblesXSilvana.jpg|thumb|Silvana's eventual goal.]]

At Pier 969, Bubbles meets Silvana, but before she can present her hindquarters for vomit-inducing copulation, she receives a telepathic message from Magi-Chan, warning her of the impostor. How Magi-Chan knows the difference, and why he didn't warn Black Sonichu of the same thing, is left to the reader's imagination. Bubbles is skeptical at first, but Jiggliami calls to inform her that she has discovered Black Sonichu in the stage closet. When Black Sonichu himself warns her of the danger, the dumb slut finally begins to put two and two together. Bubbles exposes Silvana by asking her to attack her with Black Sonichu's electrical powers. Although Transform grants the user the ability to mimic all moves known by the target, Silvana instead opts to use her own psychic attack to simulate Blake's power, but Bubbles knows the difference. Silvana reveals herself and teleports away before Bubbles can avenge Blake's manhood. Horrified, she returns to Blake's side to comfort him.

That night, Jiggliami finally performs the damned song Chris had been promoting for four months. Chris credits Blanca Weiss for composing the lyrics on August 20, 2008, which contradicts the premise of Jiggliami performing the same song on March 22, 2008. Also, the song, "War of Love", makes no sense whatsoever, and resembles the sort of crap Chris writes all the time.

As an epilogue of sorts, Chris establishes that Blanca found "her boyfriend" and returned to her home state of Kentucky, despite previously establishing that she intended to wait for Chris to return from the Time Void. Acknowledging his own personal life, Chris briefly discusses the three [[Trolls|women]] he was involved with during the fall of 2008. Chris claims to have been uncertain about which one to pursue, and credits God and Jesus for eliminating two of them by having [[Optimus Prime]] kill [[Sarah Jackson]], and revealing the second to be in alliance with the trolls. Presumably, this is meant to refer to Blanca, even though Chris has depicted her as his girlfriend in this very story. The third woman, [[PandaHalo]], Chris declares to be his True Sweetheart, and the person he would promise his [[sex|first time]] to, although he would abandon her for dead within two months.

In a small note on the last page, Chris acknowledges the suicide of [[Ryan Cash]] and admits a modicum of responsibility for his death.
{{clear}}

==Alternate versions==

When originally uploaded to [[Sonichu.net]], Chris offered multiple versions of Episode 17, depending on which link the reader selected. These were based upon the rating system used for television content.

[[Image:TVMA.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-MA''': The uncut version. It was quickly unlinked from the site; however, all files remained available.
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TV14.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-14''': A censored version. Mostly, this is accomplished by Chris putting a photograph of a banana over Sonichu's dick, an orange over Rosechu's vagina, and blue stars on her nipples. Other objects are used throughout the issue to conceal nude pictures Chris took from [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]].
{{Clear}}
[[Image:TVY7.jpg|48px|left]] '''TV-Y7''': A version which omitted many pages of the original story. Chris appears to have created "Rage Against the Garbage" with these edits in mind, as the TV-Y7 pages are numbered normally, while the pages featuring nudity and sex were lettered (e.g. page 19-A, 19-B, etc.). As the sexual content in the story was gratuitous and pointless in the first place, removing it did little to harm the quality of the work, except that the plot is significantly altered. Since Rosechu's face raping of Jason had to be removed, the TV-Y7 version implies that Sonichu and Rosechu left peacefully, never to revisit the matter.

Chris would rearrange the content in the TV-14 version numerous times before finally settling on a single version of the story, with most of the nudity removed yet with Rosechu's face rape attack left in. The hedgehog porn was reportedly removed at the request of his parents, and Chris would later add a message to his site stating his solemn vow to never again depict his characters engaged in sexual activity. This promise was soon broken when Chris created [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]] and snuck all of the deleted scenes there.

===The uncensored scenes===
[[File:Sonichu 8 on Lulu.png|thumb|200px|The extended edition, offered for sale on [[Lulu]] behind an Age Verification wall.]]

By popular demand, here are the uncensored images from ''Sonichu'' #8, including the ones from Episode 17's prologue that now appear on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia's 'Biology' page underneath 'Reproductive Biology of Sonichu and Rosechu']. Be warned: the [[CWCki]] takes no responsibility for any emotional or psychological damage inflicted upon readers of these pages.

{{clear}}

{{collapsible
|Uncensored images from Sonichu 8 (abandon hope all ye who enter here)
|<gallery caption="Episode 17: Rage Against the Garbage" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:DatingEducation.jpg | PSA (Original)
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg | Page B
Image:SchuComic8P102.jpg | Page C
Image:SchuComic8P103.jpg | Page D
Image:SchuComic8P104.jpg | Page E
Image:SchuComic8P105.jpg | Page F
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg | Page G
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg | Page H
Image:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG | Page I
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg | Page 5-A
Image:SchuComic9Page5-B.jpg | Page 5-B
Image:SchuComic9Page5-C.jpg | Page 5-C
Image:SchuComic9Page19-A.jpg | Page 19-A
Image:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg | Page 19-B
Image:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg | Page 19-D
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg | Page 32-F
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg | Page 32-G
</gallery>}}

===Revised Version===

On 10 July 2019, Chris made an update to the comic on his [[Patreon]] page:

{{quotebox|In better light of their respective birthdates being better educated to me, I have updated both versions of "Sonichu" #8 with those dates, also to change the Chaotic Combo's day from combined birthday to group anniversary and add their birthdates onto the page for reference.

Y'all can blame the Trolling-Stupids of 2008 pressuring me to make everyone fake being older than they are (with the exception of Magi-Chan, since he was literally born in 1948). Seriously: Go Figure the conversion from Pokemon Levels to Age at the time of Evolving.}}

This was made in response to fit in the new headcanons made under the influences of the [[Idea Guys]].

<center>
{| class="wikitable collapsible" width="600"
! colspan="4"|Sonichu #8 Version Comparison
|-
!Page Number
!Original Version
!Revised Version
!Notes
|-
|20
|[[File:SchuComic8P25.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page20edit.jpg|120px|center]]
|The anti-[[HEXbox]] floors is replaced by anti-troll floors.
|-
|37
|[[File:SchuComic8P60.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page37edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Rosechu is now celebrating her 16th birthday on 8 January 2008.
|-
|38
|[[File:SchuComic8P61.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page38edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|The Chaotic Combo is now celebrating their formation's 5th anniversary on 2 November 2008. Each of their birthdates are now listed below.
|-
|39
|[[File:SchuComic8P62.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page39edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Sonichu is now celebrating his 16th birthday on 20 April 2008.
|-
|40
|[[File:SchuComic8P63.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page40edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Date is changed from March 21 to April 4. Bubbles now states how Blake started at Level 16.
|-
|41
|[[File:SchuComic8P64.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|[[File:SchuComic8Page41edit.jpg|120px|frameless|center|text-bottom]]
|Date is changed from March 22 to April 5.
|}
</center>

==Comic Pages==
<center>{{collapsible
|Issue 8
|<gallery mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:Sonichu8.jpg | Cover
File:Issue 8 Disclaimer.jpg | Disclaimer
File:DatingEducation.jpg | PSA (Original)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 17: Rage Against the Garbage" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:SchuComic8P1.jpg | Page 1
File:SchuComic8P2.jpg | Page B (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page-G-TV-14.jpg | Page G (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page-H-TV-14.jpg | Page H (Censored
File:SchuComic8Page-I-TV-14.jpg | Page I (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P3.jpg | Page 2
File:SchuComic8P4.jpg | Page 3
File:SchuComic8P5.jpg | Page 4
File:SchuComic8P6.jpg | Page 5
File:SchuComic8P7.jpg | Page 5-A (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P8.jpg | Page 5-B (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P9.jpg | Page 5-C (Censored)
File:SchuComic8P10.jpg | Page 5-D
File:SchuComic8P11.jpg | Page 6
File:SchuComic8P12.jpg | Page 7
File:SchuComic8P13.jpg | Page 8
File:SchuComic8P14.jpg | Page 9
File:SchuComic8P15.jpg | Page 10
File:SchuComic8P16.jpg | Page 11
File:SchuComic8P17.jpg | Page 12
File:SchuComic8P18.jpg | Page 13
File:SchuComic8P19.jpg | Page 14
File:SchuComic8P20.jpg | Page 15
File:SchuComic8P21.jpg | Page 16
File:SchuComic8P22.jpg | Page 17
File:SchuComic8P23.jpg | Page 18
File:SchuComic8P24.jpg | Page 19
File:SchuComic9Page19-C.jpg | Page 19-C
File:SchuComic8P25.jpg | Page 20
File:SchuComic8P26.jpg | Page 21
File:SchuComic8P27.jpg | Page 22
File:SchuComic8P28.jpg | Page 23
File:SchuComic8P29.jpg | Page 24
File:SchuComic8P30.jpg | Page 25
File:SchuComic8P31.jpg | Page 26
File:SchuComic8P32.jpg | Page 27
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File:SchuComic8Page32-F-TV-14.jpg | Page 32-F (Censored)
File:SchuComic8Page32-G-TV-14.jpg | Page 32-G (Censored)
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File:SchuComic8P59.jpg | Page 36 (Ad)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="Episode 18: Spring Break, 2008!" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
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File:SchuComic8P100.jpg | Page 77 (Ad)
File:SchuComic8P101.jpg | PSA (Revised)
</gallery>
<gallery caption="2019 Revisions" mode="nolines" perrow="10">
File:SchuComic8Page20edit.jpg | Page 20 (Revised)
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</gallery>
}}</center>

{{References}}

==External links==

*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCjgNF0NTwQ Examining Sonichu & Rosechu Audiobook]
*[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cgmb4Z1hdYQHT25f_ZjjoyuFGAetC1x6/view?usp=sharing/ Download the CBR and read the comic the way god intended]

{{Sonichu}}
{{Articleofthenow}}

[[Category:Concepts influenced by Idea Guy]]
[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]
[[Category: ED Saga]]

User:MarcelDubois

2025-11-29T04:27:41Z

MarcelDubois: added infoboxes

Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym.

What am I doing here?

{{Mexicant}} {{White}} {{JERK}} {{Hex-Box}} {{Bisexual}}

User:MarcelDubois

2025-11-29T03:54:04Z

MarcelDubois: Created page with "Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym. What am I doing here?"

Hey, I'm Marcel. Yes, that's a pseudonym.

What am I doing here?