CWCki - User contributions [en]

Homos

2011-11-29T05:53:10Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 153521 by Help (talk)

[[File:CWCFlex.jpg|thumb|Sure, Chris, straight men often draw themselves like this.]]
{{Quote|I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.|Chris, lying.<ref>[[Mailbag 31]]</ref>}}
{{Quote|I put a condom on the dildo and actually did put it up my, uh, A-hole. Uh...and uh, in my humble opinion, it just did not feel right to me. And uh, the anal beads, I just put 'em in there and they were, it's like... in. Not so stiff. So it was just that one time, then they got covered in poo, and I just, I put them in the trash can.|Chris<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3</ref>}}

'''Homos''' is the pejorative term by which [[Christian Weston Chandler]] refers to '''homosexual people''' almost exclusively.

From the very beginning of his [[Internet]] fame in [[2007]], his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|"STAY STRAIGHT"]] have been one of his most noted and exploited aspects.

==Fear of being a homo==
[[Image:0067-Christian&Barbie.jpg|thumb|left|Chris tried to stay straight from an early age, by posing with Barbie.]]
[[Image:CWC new novel.png|thumb|A glimpse into the future?]]
[[Image:What Chris thinks he looks like.png|thumb|Chris shows his [[Rainbow|true colors]].]]

{{quote|"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a [[Tomgirl|gender change operation]]."|Chris <ref>E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *[[sigh]]*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm</ref>}}

Chris's homophobia is just that: he is literally afraid of homosexuality and of anything that could conceivably cause a straight person to be "leered off the straight path." His terror is such that he can barely bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo". He has said that he cannot even look at a picture of a [[pickle|penis]] without being "freaked out"<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> and he has cited [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|several techniques]] he believes are necessary to maintain his sexual attraction to women.<ref name="ReferenceA">[[Mailbag 3#Hypnotize away the gay|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 3#Sexy posters|Mailbag #3]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 4#Dissolving homoerotic thoughts in stomach acid|Mailbag #4]]</ref>

Chris is also convinced that chances of homosexuality are raised as a direct result of not engaging in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Dating_Education</ref> his [[Dating Education]] classes naturally being the reasonable solution to preventing people from becoming homos. He continues to attempt to wildly assert his straightness (and fail at it), using anything from the [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail]] to objects as strange and totemic as his [[Optimus Prime]] toy.

==Hatred of homos==
Chris's animosity towards gay people seems to result primarily from his fear of them and their supposed ability/desire to make him gay. He has often characterized the [[trolls]] as homos, which is either a basic ''ad hominem'' attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on [[Rosechu]] must be gay.

Notably, in [[IRC (02 January 2009)|an IRC chat]] from 2 [[January 2009]], Chris made this statement:

{{quote|if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "[[Wikipedia:Deck the Halls|Deck the Halls]]"|Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59}}

[[Image:Bionic2.jpg|thumb|Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto [[Bionic|one of his own abominations]].]]

He added that gay men should be incarcerated in prisons with female offenders and be provided with access to prostitutes, arguing that they would come out "reprogrammed" into healthy, law-abiding heterosexuals.

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|February 18, 2009]], Chris issued a retraction of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" like he respects his [[gal pals]] and his [[sweethearts]]. However, this was mostly done at the insistence of [[Julie]]; by [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10 March 2009]] Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to justify his position against homos.

[[Image:Sonichuspore1.png|thumb|"ALL Sonichus are [[Homos|STRAIGHT]]!"]]

In Chris's ''Carrie'' rip-off, "[[The High School Story]]", Chris's Mary Sue character, Terrah LeAnne Yowman, is called a lesbian by kids at her high school, because she hangs around with guys all the time.

{{quote|She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating [[The Creepy Stare|glare]] with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a [[Christian Weston Chandler|Strong, Straight Homophobe]] would attack that bully with [[Chris and religion|No Mercy]]; beat the crap out of that person.|"[[The High School Story]]"}}

On 14 [[June 2009]], he created a video called ''[[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]'', which in the Chris-chan tradition of ruining everything you ever loved is a homophobic version of [[Wikipedia:Uncle Ruckus|Uncle Ruckus]]'s song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from [[Wikipedia:The Garden Party|the pilot episode]] of ''[[Wikipedia:The Boondocks|The Boondocks]]''.

Later on in the day, he published an apology for the video called ''[[I'm Sorry, Dude]]'', and insisted that he likes gays who "ac— ...accomplish other things, like [[Wikipedia:Stephen Fry|Stephen Fry]], who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]''." This quote, of course, displays Chris's ignorance, as Stephen Fry is also a famous actor, comedian, writer, narrator (on things other than ''LBP''), and author of some extremely witty and charming blogs that have a large Internet following, as well as being an advocate for gay rights. This apology was only posted for the sake of his [[gal pal]] Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

Curiously, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by [[Heather Iglesias]], whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu">[[Cwcipedia]]: "Sonichu"</ref> He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.<ref name="Cwcipedia: Sonichu"/> It is unknown why Chris mentions this, given that he has vacillated wildly in the past in his feelings on lesbianism, sometimes [[Mumble 1|coming out in support]] and other times [[CWC "Boyfriend"|condemning it]], or why the character is both Hispanic and a lesbian.

Chris occasionally tries to say he respects homosexuals for who they are. However, he repeatedly betrays his intolerance of different lifestyles, often within the same statement.

{{quote|"I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head."|Chris <ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Homosexuality</ref>}}

Because it's OK for him to wave around his degenerate sexuality and showcase real life pictures of his disgusting activities, but God forbid a well-adjusted male adult mention they love other men.

On 8 July 2009, Chris left a comment on a PSN News Post in reference to a Unity avatar.<ref>http://blog.us.playstation.com/2009/07/08/attention-fighting-fans-prove-youre-the-best-around/#comment-241496</ref>

{{quotebox|Hey, the Street Fighter Tourney is good news, but I have a concern about the person who left the message.

His Avitar…

If that icon is WHAT I THINK IT IS, I AM OFFENDED; please change your Avitar, dude.}}

On [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 26, 2009|July 26, 2009]], Chris goes so far as to call "gay" a synonym for "stupid."

In the [[Mailbag]] section of the [[CWCipedia]], Chris describes at length his idea for his comic self to travel to the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (an idea stolen from [[Wikipedia:Family Gay|this episode of]] ''[[Family Guy]]''). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that [[Honor roll|homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals]], or by imprisoning gays in [[Rape|co-ed prisons]]). This storyline finally came to light in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris amended this plan to not only bring back a couple of syringes, but also enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight.

[[Jack Thaddeus]] purchased advertisement space on the [[CWCipedia]] to put up two ads on the site. One of them was an ad featuring Peter Griffin of ''[[Family Guy]]'', pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights. In retaliation, Chris blew his stack, [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|stating]]:

{{quote|I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with [[Vivian]]'s [[Audiobooks]], BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and '''I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.'''

Please Remove, or Change the Images of, THE TWO ADS.

And in the future, if you plan on adding more advertisements, INCLUDING the associated images, Please run them by me in a message for my personal Approval BEFORE you start running the ads.

Thank you.|Chris<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links</ref>}}

In a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]], Chris stated that he assumed that a friend of Jack's was gay when he heard that he had AIDS.

On Christmas Day, [[2009]], the Sysop at the CWCipedia added a Twitter onto the webpage. Two days later, Chris saw this and flew into a tizzy, wanting the Twitter off as he didn't want any "homo trolls" talking behind his back.

Around New Year [[2010]], Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for [[wikipedia:Love In Action|Love In Action]] (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting [[wikipedia:California Proposition 8 (2008)|Proposition 8]]), and a site that calls for a boycott on Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. In another ad, he also suggested that [[wikipedia:Avatar (2009 film)|''Avatar'']] was a ''totally'' straight film. To sum it up: Ex-gay campaigns, Proposition 8 and ridiculous consumer boycotts - in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that do ''not'' win himself any gay friends whatsoever and prove all of his previous "respect" for gays is nothing but idle words.

On 5 [[January 2010]], Chris responded to a [[Mailbag]] letter addressing the homosexual subject. In the answer, Chris stated that [[Magi-Chan]] keeps a constant psychic-surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville. When evidence of homosexuality was found in a couple, the people involved would be arrested and fined heavily.

Then, on 7 January, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight...

{{quote|I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, [[2003]] just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!|[[Common Questions#Answered 07 January 2010|Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.]]}}

Not only is this ironic, considering his current views on lesbianism, but it adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by him being childish and whiny about not getting his way, just because ''one'' woman turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

On 12 January, Chris appeared to soften his stance, saying that "Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within [[Cwcville]], yet gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And [[Magi-Chan]] will stay out of those people's heads under my request."<ref>[[CWC Blog#12 January 2010]]</ref> Of course, it's not clear how gays can have "equal relationship rights" if they can't marry, but Chris tends to be pretty weak on logic.

On 30 [[January 2010]], Chris voiced his opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He is for the lifting of the ban so that "[[Mailbag 49#Chris loves his country|the homos can go die in explosions]]."

On 15 [[August 2010]], [[Bob]] showed the same kind of hatred and prejudice as his son does for "DA HOMOS". In the [[Matthew Noble call]], Bob said that he believed that a few homosexual kids were working alongside [[Michael Snyder|Mike]] and [[Megan]] to get Chris banned from The GAMe PLACe.

==Why Chris appears to be gay==

[[Image:564Homos.jpg|thumb|left|At least Chris doesn't [[fail]] at cataloging pictures. [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality No, it's not a shoop].]]

[[Image:CWCMonica.jpg|thumb|Oh lawd, is dat some lipstick on Chris?]]

{{quote|First off, should such images [of men's asses] enter your mind at random, just stop yourself. I have had this problem too. I would take all such images when they enter my mind and just delete them; I imagine, in my mind, rolling them all into a ball, shrinking it down, and tossing them into a garbage can that links to my Stomach through a direct bodily vein. I imagine the feeling of it falling through the vein and making its splash landing into the stomach acid and dissolving; gone forever.|[[Mailbag 4|Mailbag #4]] - Chris admitting he's had homoerotic fantasies.}}

[[Image:RainbowChris.jpg|thumb|Fun Fact: [[Rainbow]] colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.]]
[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|For someone who claims to be straight, Chris sure does love talking about BALLS. Also, balls are touching.]]
[[Image:0430-ChristianWTallStack2.jpg|thumb|That's one [[pickle|phallic]] [[Lego]] tower you're building there, Chris.]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|Why do I get the feeling he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

Ironically, the harder Chris [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|tries to convince people]] he's straight, the gayer he appears. He has absolutely no awareness that an uptight, milquetoast, colorfully-dressed, squeaky-voiced man saying "I am straight! I have a subscription to ''Playboy''!"<ref>[[CWC Update 18 January 2009]]</ref> every five minutes looks like he has something he's trying to hide. Furthermore, the more we learn about Chris, the more gay he really appears to be.

* Christian has stated that if he were unable to stay straight he would undergo sex reassignment surgery; he would rather be female than gay. It should be noted that straight men never, ever, put this much thought into this hypothetical dilemma.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref>
* He collects [[My Little Pony]] figures well into early adulthood.
* For a straight man, he sure does [[Semen#Transcript|consume a lot of semen]]. Likewise, the idea of [[Kacey Phone Call|licking his own ejaculate]] off one of his gal-pals sexually arouses him.
* Like many gay men, most of his [[gal-pal|"friends"]] were female and he never slept with any of them.
* In a [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|PSN Chat with Julie]], Chris admitted that he randomly has images of penises (his own and others he's seen in porn) pop into his head. He also claims to hear voices in his head that say "Christian is gay." Unless Chris is having ''very specific'' auditory hallucinations, it's likely he has homoerotic daydreams and freaks out about it. In the same chat he sounded ''delighted'' describing the first time he saw semen in a porno movie as a teenager.
* He owns, or at least has owned, anal beads and a vibrator, and he is on record as having experimented with putting both toys in his anus. In a chat during the [[Vanessa Saga]] on 16 [[April 2009]], he claimed that he no longer shoved things up his ass, except for "a narrow jet of water from my adjustable shower-head on a hose."<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 3|Vanessa IRC Chat III]]</ref> Although it is quite possible to stick things up your butt and still be straight, people who are terrified of being turned gay generally do not do this.
* Chris said that he would put something up his ass for [[Ivy]] "in a heartbeat," including a large fake dick, and would let her fuck him with a strap-on.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 7|Vanessa IRC Chat VII]]</ref>
* Chris said that he might let a gay guy fuck him if Ivy wanted that.<ref>[[Vanessa IRC Chat 9|Vanessa IRC Chat IX]]</ref>
* During their correspondence, [[Jackie]] told Chris she was curious about anal sex.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 5]]</ref> Instead of taking it to mean she wished to be penetrated from behind (as most men would have understood it), Chris thought she wanted to use a strap-on/anal bead on him and said he would comply. In her next email, Jackie clarified her intentions but said she was open to the prospect of being the penetrative partner,<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref> leading a jubilant Chris to discuss his past anal experiences in detail.
* Christian argues that the vibrator and anal beads were sent to him as a gift with an order of straight pornography; he did not ask for them or pay for them. However, according to [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|the receipts]] that were uncovered by trolls, Chris specifically asked for the anal beads as the gift.
* Chris kept the vibrator around for months.
* In the [[Chris Sex Logs]], Chris shows off a dildo to [[PandaHalo]]. He immediately suggests the phallic sex toy is something that [[Sex_Logs#This_is_my_dildo|goes up your butt]], and then immediately denies it's been up his butt. He also says having a dildo in your butt "will feel good."
* On [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009|5 February 2009]] Chris posted two videos stating that he was coming out of the closet as a gay man. He later issued a retraction which was far less persuasive.
* When negotiating for the safe return of his PSN account from [[Max]], Chris was given the choice of burning his [[medallion]] or shoving it up his ass. Chris immediately chose to shove it up his ass.
* Chris thought a straight woman would be turned on by a [[nudes|close-up picture of his anus]].
* He wears a pink [[Belt Buckle of Fail|belt buckle]].
* He owns a set of [[anime wings]] which are basically hair clips. And hair clips are for women.
* His best man at [[CWC's "It's All Coming Back To Me"|his wedding]] is [[Sarah Hammer]] in drag.
* He sang "I Love the Nightlife" on his [[Chris's Big Night Out|visit to a local bar/restaurant]], which is popular at gay clubs and drag revues.
* [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (album)|''Christian and the Hedgehog Boys'']] features two covers of the [[Wikipedia:Backstreet Boys|Backstreet Boys]], one cover of a [[Britney Spears]] song, and one cover of a [[Wikipedia:Ricky Martin|Ricky Martin]] song. This music was popular among thirteen-year-old girls when it was new and is popular among the gay community today.
* [[muscle bra|He wears a bra.]] In fairness, he uses it to [[Fridays After Five|try to attract women]].
* He [[Clyde is Weaker than Water|implores men to wear bras]] because looking at shirtless men makes Chris uncomfortable,<ref>[[Mailbag 55#On brassieres|Mailbag 55]]</ref><ref>[[Mailbag 55#Draconian_fun.21|Mailbag #55]]</ref> possibly arousing latent homosexual urges.
* When you look up "Homosexuality" in Chris's [[CWCipedia|own web encyclopedia]], you ''literally'' see his own portrait (as shown on the screencap at the top of this section).
* In the [[PS3 History Level]] video, he showed that he actually owns a copy of [[Wikipedia:Sex and the City (film)|''Sex and the City'']] (the film) when he showcased his then current collection of [[PS3]] games and movies.
* In his response to a letter in [[Mailbag 4]] about "impure" homoerotic thoughts, Chris confesses that he "[has] had this problem too," and has to resort to deleting them through a curious process that involves dropping the thoughts into his stomach acid, lest the gay gene take its toll.
* Chris reacts to [[Alec Benson Leary]]'s ''[[Asperchu]]'' comics by giving the all the characters a free makeover.
* In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris donates some of his "straight blood" to doctors in the future so that they could make a vaccine against homosexuality. Vaccines are made from people who have the virus being fought.
* One of Chris's ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' vehicles is called "A Man's Toy", which is a light blue carriage with [[rainbow]] lollipop wheels and a message that says "Tea parties are good and nice" on the rear end of the carriage.<ref>http://community.modnation.com/en-us/players/Sonichu/creations/1296110</ref>
* In the guise of his trollsona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris used [[Trollin' Train]] to go into far more detail than was necessary about a supposed homosexual encounter, describing various acts with a relish out of place for someone who claims to be disgusted by the mere thought of a penis.
* He made a drawing of [[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] [http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Punchylaylalove.jpg wearing panties and bra].
* He also made a [[:File:SchuSoneeRosey.jpg|drawing]] of a [[Sonee & Rosey|Sonee and a Rosee]] in which the hairless spot on the Rosee's abdomen looks like an erect penis.
* The [[Scrapbook of Fail]] contains a [[:File:115-CWCEmbarassed.jpg|self portrait of Chris]] as the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' character [http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Magician_Girl Dark Magician Girl].
* He [[Tomgirl|voluntarily dressed up as a woman]], went out in public and used [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Girly Things Tee Hee|the woman's washroom]]. While not all cross-dressers are homosexuals, men who are afraid of being seen as a homosexual generally do not take a disturbing amount of pride in cross-dressing in public.

==Defenses against becoming homo==
[[Image:CWCIsSTRAIGHT.jpg|thumb|According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by taping index cards indicating their straightness to their shoes (while stomping on [[vibrator]]s). Srsly.]]
It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Luckily, Chris has a [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] which he stares at everyday to stave off temptations of homosexuality.

Chris also subscribes to ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' to help keep himself straight. You can tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to boobies and [[China|vaginas]].

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) [[trolls|fans]] sent Chris questions on the [[CWCipedia]] asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tends to offer what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas include thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs with an extremely severe and disproportionate punishment.<ref name="ReferenceA"/> He also clarifies that one need not buy their own poster of fail; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick.

To prevent future homos, he also encourages women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant because he believes this could cause the baby to be born homosexual.<ref>[[Mailbag 5#Daniel Tammet/Punching your baby will make it gay|Mailbag #5]]</ref>

In ''[[Kill De Jack]]'', Chris reveals another one of his defenses against becoming a homo: he covers a section of his "[[CWC-ism|computer]]" (we can assume that he means "computer screen") with a piece of paper so that he can browse [[CWCipedia]] without looking at [[Jack Thaddeus]]'s ads featuring pictures of homosexual men.

It seems that the centerfold poster of [[The_Simpsons#Marge_Poster|Marge's ''Playboy'' magazine]] has become one of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she's married has [[kacey|no bearing on Chris's desires]].

{{quote|But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.|-Matthew 28, [[Chris and religion|something Chris has probably never read, nor wouldn't care to read.]]}}

==Chris on his alleged homosexuality==

[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|having sex with THREE WOMEN?"]]]]

* "I AM STRAIGHT, DAMN IT! I WILL NOT BE VEERED INTO ANY OTHER DISGUSTINGLY GROTESQUE DIRECTION!!!!!"<ref>[[Masturbating and squirtin']]</ref>
* "I'M STRAIGHT! I'M STRAIGHT! '''YOU'RE THE HOMOS!''' EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008]]</ref>
* "I'm straight, don't doubt me!"<ref>[[PS3 History Level]]</ref>
* "Listen, as hard as you fucking can, I CAME OUT OF MY AUTISTIC [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|CLOSET]] AS A STRAIGHT MAN, and NOTHING ELSE. SO YOU IMMATURE JERKS CAN JUST FUCK OFF."<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref>
* "Yep, you heard me. I am...a [[gaybian|gaaaaaaaaay...bian]]."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the First Video]]</ref>
* "Anyway the, uh- anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it...OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all- how y'all understand it."<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009#Transcript of the Second Video]]</ref>
* "And look at me. Do I look like- [*shakes head in disagreement*] '''No more of those stupid acquisition messages!''' Get it through your fucking, individual, damn, dirty SKULLS! '''I. Am. STRAIGHT!'''"<ref>''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts]]''</ref>

Curiously, in his own [[A Public Announcement for Congress|campaign ad]], Chris announced a promise of "gay marriage ability for every state within the United Nations." Suffice to say, this has not helped him in the polls.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) Comes Clean...
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Bx6MF90NcTo}}
| Stardate = 5 January 2010
| Maker = Psycatalyst
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia|chris=Homosexuality}}

* [[Chris and sex]]
* [[Chris and religion]]
* [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet]]
* [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There]]
* [[Gay 4 Sonichu]]
* [[Gaybian]] (a "male lesbian", according to Chris)
* [[It's UGH!]]
* [[Rainbow]]
* [[Reldnahc Naitsirhc]]
* [[Magi-Chan]]
* [[Heather Iglesias]]
* [[Tomgirl]]
* [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyO3pnkI3H4 CWC (Ian Brandon Anderson) finally admits it.]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9hdbiwA3k Chris-chan is sick of the lies!]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOpGtblij8Y Chris-chan proves those slanderous trolls wrong.]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:Homos]]

Talk:Michael Snyder

2011-11-04T23:51:25Z

Massive Dynamic: /* The Michael Snyder images */

Hah, you faggots got there before me on the last name. I love how Chris keeps giving out moar and more information about his private life. ^^ [[User:RachmaninovDESU|RachmaninovDESU]] 07:15, 18 March 2009 (CET)

i kind of have a problem with this "In Chris's anger, Chris ends up calling him a Jew as if it's an insult" line. i keep listening to the audio and i believe his last word was "You" (IOU or JOU, depending on the phonetic alphabet youre using) as opposed to the "dʒ" you need to pronounce the word "jew". or is it just me. what do you think? [[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 08:15, 12 April 2010

HAHAHAHA! DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK [[Chris_and_English#Spoken_language|COCKS]]. That, or I need to clean my ears.[[User:Rosechupenis|Rosechupenis]] 08:52, 12 April 2010

Can someone better than me with wikis make that image smaller? [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:13, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
:Done. Glad I was able to help. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 12:26, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
::Cheers mate. Three points! -Ronichu
:::My pleasure, Ronichu. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 14:30, 13 April 2010 (UTC)
==== Number Disconnected? ====

I called Michael from Australia this evening to congratulate him on standing up against Chris and to let him know I would shop at his shop were I able to; I doublechecked the number Chris gave ((434) 984-1040) on his website, so it's definitely the right number... but it seems the number was disconnected, probably today. Did anons get hold of it and spam it with JULAAAAAAAAAY? [[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 12:46, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

*Try this number Ron, I got it straight from the GAMe PLACe's website: (540) 948-4263. Maybe you should mention to Mike that Chris put the audio up online when you call him. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 12:57, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== A saga is brewing ==

Let us keep watching to see what happens. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:33, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

Same here, I'm spamming his email to see what his reaction is. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 09:32 PM CST, 13 June 2010
*Don't spam Mike. That won't give him a good opinion of us.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 14 June 2010 (UTC)
**Sorry, forgot to say I was spamming '''Chris' ''' mailbox. Sorry, there. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy and the Minor Mistake of Derp]] 19:05, 16 June 2010 (CST)
*** Oh Hi, everybody! i think i'm a gonna call chris on his cell. Is the cell on his [[Chris's resume|resumé]] still the one he uses? --[[User:Tommy Wiseau|Tommy Wiseau]] 23:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* Yes, that is his cell phone number. Proof? [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 23:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

==To be blunt==
I really don't like this article. We have one section of decent length and then two which are both (almost) completely oversized quotes. I say get rid of the quotes and replace them with some actual substance. Also, the pictures aren't really relevant to the sections they are in. I think the "niggers jews bad news" thing should be in "antisemitism" and the other pictures either need their own section or should be removed. We don't need to archive fucking everything. We just need the important bits. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 03:25, 16 October 2010 (PDT)

==Out of respect?==
So Snyder's facebook is listed, and it has a picture of him, is the picture not posted on cwcki out of respect for Snyder or has no one got around to it?
[[User:Theiselybros|Theiselybros]] 19:10, 18 January 2011 (PST)
:To be blunt, I don't even know why Eamoo put the facebook link there. It's for the same reason why we don't talk about his personal life in the article: The only thing that matters is how he pertains to Chris. Just like pretty much everyone else, he has a fake picture because it would be purposeless to put the picture up for us and could potentially be damaging for them. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 19:33, 18 January 2011 (PST)

==History repeating itself==

He still hold a grudge against him even 3 years after, read his last post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia, i have just joined the Cwcki recently and yet i witnessed one of usual CWC bullshit. I need a drink now

The quote

I do have intel from my own experiences and past research which hopefully can be helpful. I'd recommend starting at the Game & Hobby Place in Charlottesville, across from the Omni hotel. I have been banned from there in April, 2008 by the cold-hearted Michael Snyder. My family and I know that in a great way, that Place IS a central or focal point of the Trolls' plottings and/or such.

PLUS, it AND the other three associated hobby stores on their same website are ALL owned by a convicted-in-Illinois sex offender, Robert Lightfire. The Place is located across the street from a Public School; morally and legally, the Place should NOT be located there at all. Yet Mr. Lightburn is listed as an Offender in Illinois; he isn't listed in VA. He lives in Madison. I am positive, aside from him being married, Mr. Snyder has his own equatable criminal scandal.

The following quote was Posted by Chris Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:57 pm on the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia Forum

[[User:René Duprée|René Duprée]]

*Not only that but in the most recent PC Assassins call, Bob seems to think that The Game Place is a hub for all of the trolls led by Megan to make Chris' life shit. Gotta love them conspiracy theories [[User:Nullity|Nullity]] 16:28, 29 July 2011 (PDT)

==The Michael Snyder images==

Sorry, but I'm just a bit skeptical of the authenticity of these images. How do we know these are actually of Michael Snyder and where did they come from, exactly? These pictures just showed up out of nowhere so we have absolutely no evidence that these are the real thing.

[[User:Dlanor A Knox|Dlanor A Knox]] 16:47, 4 November 2011 (PDT)
: How do we even know that that's The Game Place or even in Charlottesville? It's a shitty picture taken by a shitty camera. This doesn't really tell us anything. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 16:51, 4 November 2011 (PDT)

Talk:Ryan Cash

2011-06-05T01:54:40Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Is this for real? */

==To do==
*Chris's comments to Ryan's family
*Ryan in the comic (make note he paid more attention to his sweethearts [Chris that is]).
*Artist depiction of Ryan --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:44, 10 February 2009 (CET)

Just suggesting:

* 'committed suicide upon himself' quote
* how CWC is indeed responsible, kind of
--[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:06, 2 May 2009 (CEST)

==Joke==

I can't believe I have to do this, but the "your" on the page is a joke. So don't change it, mmmkay? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 04:42, 3 May 2009 (CEST)
* Derp, thought it might've been after the 100th time it was reverted. Afraid my grammar nazism comes before my knowledge of memes. >: I'll add a comment about that to the page. --'''[[User:Lime|<font color="limegreen">L</font>]][[User_talk:Lime|<font color="limegreen">i</font>]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|<font color="limegreen">m</font>]][[nudes|<font color="limegreen">e</font>]]''' [[Image:Madotsuki.png]] 03:37, 11 November 2009 (CET)
==Rollback==
Rolled back edits regarding the implication that Clyde is still alive and hunting Chris. I don't think that is really public or planned yet. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 00:26, 17 November 2009 (CET)

== Is this for real? ==

I mean, if Ryan Cash killed himself over a barely passable web-distributed comic, it would suggest he had some real demons. Sure, Chris isn't exactly Mr. Empathy, but to pin the boy's suicide on him and [[Sonichu]] seems a bit much. If it hadn't been this, it'd have been something else that set him off. I'm a former psychology major; I know these things. There are red flags to look out for. Had Ryan exhibited any unusual behavior prior to this? Had he sought counseling? Just curious.

Of course, if the whole Ryan thing is just an elaborate [[troll]] prank...well, brother, that's a whole new level of depravity right there, whomping up a story about a dead boy and then using it to guilt-trip some poor muddlehead with an already tenebrous grip on reality. --[[User:The Iconoclast|The Iconoclast]] 00:45, 2 June 2011 (PDT)

:... I erased my original response to this before posting it. Instead, I'll just be as polite as I possibly can. "It is not for real. There is no real Ryan Cash, and to the best of all our knowledges, nobody has ever killed themselves over Sonichu. Nor has there ever been anything but one legitimate fan, and she did not kill herself. You may rest easy." That said... forgive me, but the diplomacy dyke holding back the arsehole within me groans under the weight of what I'm reading here. I would have thought that someone who "know(s) these things" and claimed authority over the world of the psychiatric would have been able to determine that the article is clearly the work of a troll. I'm 33% split between deleting this section for vandalism (obvious trolling), 33% convinced that the Internet has made you Autistic (and therefore worthy of pity), and 33% highly amused at the dichotomy of one claiming deep knowledge into the workings of the mind and simultaneously believing this hunk of cods-wallop may be true. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 09:59, 2 June 2011 (PDT)
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you're serious. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 18:54, 4 June 2011 (PDT)

User talk:Clydec/Help Find the Pink

2011-04-01T01:43:35Z

Massive Dynamic:

==Rosechu?==
Did someone kidnap Rosechu again? and if so does Chris have a basement ----[[User:Observer|Observer]] 18:27, 31 March 2011 (PDT)
:A man simply wants his pink. Men are vexed. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 18:43, 31 March 2011 (PDT)

User:Clydec

2011-02-13T01:00:43Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Q AND A HERE */

== I AM GOING TO OVERTHROW YOU CHAMP ==
AND KILL YOU -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 18:13, 15 January 2011 (PST)
* AND RAPE YOU -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 23:48, 4 February 2011 (PST)
** AND MOLEST YOU -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:32, 5 February 2011 (PST)
*** YOU CAN DO ALL THAT BUT YOU CAN'T WORK ON RABBICHOSO -- [[User:Jerk|Jerk]] 17:45, 5 February 2011 (PST)
**** DAMN IT JERK -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 17:47, 5 February 2011 (PST)
Rabbichoso sucks.--[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 02:34, 6 February 2011 (PST)

== CWCki Improvement Team ==
The objective is to make the CWCki less gay.
Members:
*Delabonte

If you feel like you qualify, please put your name here:

* [[User:Ronichu]] - No idea what this is but it sounds good. Gimme a list of shit to do and I'll do it. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 14:42, 8 February 2011 (PST)
** Go through every article and delete stupid shit. Bad jokes. Stupid jokes. Retarded memes. Speculation. The works. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:23, 8 February 2011 (PST)
* Well, I've already gone through and changed references of Chris's misogyny to chauvanism, since Chris is more of a chauvanist than he is a misogynist, so I'm game to play janitor on here. [[User:John Ritter's Nutsack|John Ritter's Nutsack]] 15:00, 10 February 2011 (PST)
** I hope you're joking. That's not helping at all. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:46, 11 February 2011 (PST)

== Q AND A HERE ==
start here:

Why do you not return my calls?[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 15:00, 9 February 2011 (PST)
*because i have caller id -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:02, 9 February 2011 (PST)

Do you regret/wish you hadn't done something during your time trolling Chris? [[User:PerilousSquall|PerilousSquall]] 18:43, 9 February 2011 (PST)
* i dunno -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 18:48, 9 February 2011 (PST)

How does it feel to be responsible for the drought according to legi0n?[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 18:50, 9 February 2011 (PST)
* yeah i know. i totally caused it. feels good man -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]]

I read somewhere on ED that you're involved in at least one other trolling scheme. How does the manchild compare to trolling other lulcows? [[User:Isarko|Isarko]] 19:15, 9 February 2011 (PST)
* chris is dead. people need to learn to move on. chris was just something a bit bigger and probably got out of hand imo -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:19, 10 February 2011 (PST)

Is it difficult balancing trolling with fighting for freedom in China? --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 20:35, 9 February 2011 (PST)
*I think someone's been listening to Guns n' Roses "Chinese Democracy" album. --[[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 02:11, 10, February 2011 (EST)
**Shut up. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 12:52, 11 February 2011 (PST)
** this is how i fight for freedom. once i expose american failures to the public, i will destroy america's status as superpower. duh -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:19, 10 February 2011 (PST)
***You rock, good sir. Or should I say "That Clyde is a pretty cool guy. eh pwns Americunts and doesnt afraid of anything..."? [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] 20:53, 10 February 2011 (PST)
**** shut the fuck up -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:30, 12 February 2011 (PST)

Hey Clyde. I've always been curious, what is your favorite video game(s), and favorite video game console(s)? --[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 01:19, 10 February 2011 (EST)
* super mario galaxy 2 goty all years -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:19, 10 February 2011 (PST)

When traveling at a subsonic speed during the last one hour of hyper sleep, which vector of the Romulan Nebula will suffer the wrath of the impenetrable quickening and how many wraths to the nearest molton? [[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 01:35, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* 7 -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:19, 10 February 2011 (PST)

If you could go back in time and change one major historical event, what would it be and why? --[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 08:01, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* hitler's suicide. he had a lot more to accomplish. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:19, 10 February 2011 (PST)

Question from Ivy: "I am taller than you. Will you go back to China and do the taller surgery thing to be taller than me someday?" --[[User:Jerk|Jerk]] 12:32, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* "PS- Even in Heaven, I am taller than you." --[[User:Jerk|Jerk]] 12:36, 10 February 2011 (PST)
** fuck you -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 14:04, 10 February 2011 (PST)

Where did you very first discover Chris? Was it on /v/ or /b/? Also, what was the first move you made to troll Chris? I know Medic takes alot of the credit for the early days of CWC trolling, did he really have a big effect or was most of it handed to him? [[User:Nigroid|Nigroid]] 17:25, 10 February 2011 (PST)
*/v/ and medic did jack shit. the only person of note who did anything was evan. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 22:40, 10 February 2011 (PST)

What is love? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 19:32, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* love -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 22:40, 10 February 2011 (PST)

Do you and the PVCC cabal really have Chris's email, voicemail, etc. under surveillance to protect against white knights and overly noobish trolls? [[User:BrianBash|BrianBash]] 20:53, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* no but i have his ps3 if that counts -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 22:40, 10 February 2011 (PST)

You wouldn't happen to know why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch, would you?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:08, 10 February 2011 (PST)
* because it's full of fucking sugar and kids love that shit -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:46, 11 February 2011 (PST)

I have 2 questions actually... 1) What's the meaning of life? and 2) Why did you decide to start trolling Chris of all people? (not that I'm complaining) --[[User:4Macie|4Macie]] 20:37, 11 February 2011 (PST)
* 1. because -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:30, 12 February 2011 (PST)
* 2. bcuz i was naive and young back then. those were the days my friend. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:30, 12 February 2011 (PST)

Is the PVCC kind of boring? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 23:17, 11 February 2011 (PST)
* if you're looking for chris shit, super boringo. there's like one user who keeps annoying everyone about chris shit and everyone's like shut up we're talking about donkey kong country returns now and he's like but wait can't we and we're like SHUT THE FUCK UP CHRIST and we lock his topics because that's how we fucking roll seriously it's like a stupid generic message board now the only reason we couldn't want to let people in is because it is a small tight knit community or smoething and really if you wanted to join you'd have been in #sonichu and we chillin with us and we'd let you in because that's the type of person we'd want in that community who shares the same interests and feelings you know because we got that same type of emotional connection but not in a gay way dude but like friendship like in that game mortal kombat you know -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:30, 12 February 2011 (PST)

You are crazy. Agreed?--[[User:WeirdGuy|WeirdGuy]]
*fuck off -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 15:30, 12 February 2011 (PST)

Chinese Democracy the album sucked. Does this lower the bar for actual democracy in China? [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 17:00, 12 February 2011 (PST)

==Math Questions go here==
[[User:SurfShackTito|SurfShackTito]] 01:32, 11 February 2011 (PST)

User:Massive Dynamic

2011-02-13T00:55:11Z

Massive Dynamic:

[[Image:Massive-dynamic.jpg|350px]]

{{PVCC}}{{IRCReg}}

User talk:The Iconoclast

2011-01-18T18:23:14Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Why do you hate America's children? */

== Tips ==
Messages should go on the talk page, bro. I've already moved your post over there. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 23:14, 6 January 2011 (PST)

==We're a lot alike, you and me... ==
In what way are you not like Chris? Because you seem at least as pathetic as him. I guess plagiarists need to stick together, eh? [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]]
::Lets see: Widespread <s>plagiarism</s> artistic borrowing, a lack of artistic unity, a lack of professional quality in works that are presented as such <small>(hello vanity publishing/sonichu copyright)</small>, self promotion in unrelated places, and a superpowered SI surrounded by <s>boyfriend free girls</s> women to make up for an underwhelming real life... Yeah, it's like I'm reading Sonichu<small>©</small> light. We've even got the same regurgitation of tv lines. - [[User:Kei|Kei]] 12:14, 8 January 2011 (PST)
:::You're just another faggot who says "I'm better than Chris" to justify their existence while at the same time doing the same stupid bullshit (making comics NO ONE READS) at the same time. Go away. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:56, 15 January 2011 (PST)

==i don't like you==
You're just another faggot who says "I'm better than the people who troll Chris who ARE EVIL PEOPLE so therefore I'm fucking awesome" to justify their existence while at the same time doing stupid bullshit (making comics almost 5 people read) at the same time. Go away. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 01:50, 16 January 2011 (PST)

==sup son==
Your one of my least favourite members on this board. Your litteraly homosexual, your a furry, your a juggalo, you like fat women, you wanted to fuck your mother, you mother fucker, you like to take it up the ass and suck dick and u brag about it, and u think you are way funnier than you really are. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 11:03, 16 January 2011 (PST)

==Why do you hate America's children?==
Do you ''not'' want kids to eat food that actually has some sort of nutritional value? Are you '''IN FAVOR OF CHILDHOOD OBESITY'''? [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 14:38, 16 January 2011 (PST)

'''I don't want Michelle Obama telling me what snacks I may consume'''

The bill only applies to public schools, which are federally funded. It's the federal government passing a law that affects a federal institution. Should they not be able to control something in their own organization? It won't affect what snacks get stuck in the beard you meticulously crafted using the Spray tool in MSPaint.

And children's programming was always stupid and full of fluff. Why are you watching kiddie shows at your age, anyway? [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 11:24, 17 January 2011 (PST)

You still didn't answer my question about why you watch so many kids shows in the first place. The 80s stuff, I guess I can understand. It makes you nostalgic for the time when we didn't have ratings and when Z. Cavariccis were popular or whatever. But why, in your late 20s did you just suddenly get into Pokemon and Histeria? Or Kim Possible for that matter.

If you had to take care of your kids or nephew or younger siblings and that's what they watched, I could see you getting a little kick out of it. Or if you were a pothead, that's a valid excuse. Potheads eat and watch all kinds of things when they're bored and high. But you're a straitlaced arch-conservative mystery "writer" who doesn't have any kids and judging by your general demeanor and your Chris-Chanian dream of returning to college solely for the cable and the coochie, you won't have any. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 10:23, 18 January 2011 (PST)

P.S. Your shitty comic's self-insert protagonist looks like Arthur. Stop watching PBS, son.

==Get out of bed!==
''[walks into Icon's bedroom, making furnace noises through snuffle]'' f-f-f-f-f ''[in a normal voice]'' Get out of bed! Snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle... --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:41, 17 January 2011 (PST)

==Virginal Plagiarist==
He also steals ideas, and ain't never got no sex. He did meet a girl once, and she was creeped out by him. He's still stalking her.
[[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 10:05, 17 January 2011 (PST)

== Nice Site-- NOT ==

McAfee found a virus the moment I opened your site in a new tab. Now I'm never reading your shit.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 16:20, 17 January 2011 (PST)

User talk:The Iconoclast

2011-01-17T19:24:03Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Why do you hate America's children? */

== Tips ==
Messages should go on the talk page, bro. I've already moved your post over there. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 23:14, 6 January 2011 (PST)

==We're a lot alike, you and me... ==
In what way are you not like Chris? Because you seem at least as pathetic as him. I guess plagiarists need to stick together, eh? [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]]
::Lets see: Widespread <s>plagiarism</s> artistic borrowing, a lack of artistic unity, a lack of professional quality in works that are presented as such <small>(hello vanity publishing/sonichu copyright)</small>, self promotion in unrelated places, and a superpowered SI surrounded by <s>boyfriend free girls</s> women to make up for an underwhelming real life... Yeah, it's like I'm reading Sonichu<small>©</small> light. We've even got the same regurgitation of tv lines. - [[User:Kei|Kei]] 12:14, 8 January 2011 (PST)
:::You're just another faggot who says "I'm better than Chris" to justify their existence while at the same time doing the same stupid bullshit (making comics NO ONE READS) at the same time. Go away. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:56, 15 January 2011 (PST)

==i don't like you==
You're just another faggot who says "I'm better than the people who troll Chris who ARE EVIL PEOPLE so therefore I'm fucking awesome" to justify their existence while at the same time doing stupid bullshit (making comics almost 5 people read) at the same time. Go away. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 01:50, 16 January 2011 (PST)

==sup son==
Your one of my least favourite members on this board. Your litteraly homosexual, your a furry, your a juggalo, you like fat women, you wanted to fuck your mother, you mother fucker, you like to take it up the ass and suck dick and u brag about it, and u think you are way funnier than you really are. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 11:03, 16 January 2011 (PST)

==Why do you hate America's children?==
Do you ''not'' want kids to eat food that actually has some sort of nutritional value? Are you '''IN FAVOR OF CHILDHOOD OBESITY'''? [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 14:38, 16 January 2011 (PST)

'''I don't want Michelle Obama telling me what snacks I may consume'''

The bill only applies to public schools, which are federally funded. It's the federal government passing a law that affects a federal institution. Should they not be able to control something in their own organization? It won't affect what snacks get stuck in the beard you meticulously crafted using the Spray tool in MSPaint.

And children's programming was always stupid and full of fluff. Why are you watching kiddie shows at your age, anyway? [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 11:24, 17 January 2011 (PST)

==Get out of bed!==
''[walks into Icon's bedroom, making furnace noises through snuffle]'' f-f-f-f-f ''[in a normal voice]'' Get out of bed! Snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle-snuffle-uffle... --[[User:Snuffleupagus|Snuffleupagus]] 06:41, 17 January 2011 (PST)

==Virginal Plagiarist==
He also steals ideas, and ain't never got no sex. He did meet a girl once, and she was creeped out by him. He's still stalking her.
[[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 10:05, 17 January 2011 (PST)

User talk:Clydec

2011-01-17T02:01:55Z

Massive Dynamic:

Previously on User Talk:<br/>
[[User: Clydec/Archive 1]]
[[User: Clydec/Archive 2]]
[[User: Clydec/Archive 3]]

I'm doing more to help people than Christian Chandler has ever thought to. My work helps to get the word out about [[Obama]] and how he is slowly destroying this land I love. I am also one of the few writers whose work presents a [[true and honest]] view of the vice, corruption and hatred inherent in the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkansas_State_University#The_ASU_System college] system. Though some of his ideas may be inherently workable, like [[dating education]], his approach is amateurish and flawed at best. [[Vivian]] had the right idea, but couldn't get through to him because she isn't a licensed counselor or therapist. If someone qualified were to sit down with both Chris and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and allow them to talk out their differences, maybe he would be a lot better off. People '''do''' read my books and comics and enjoy them very much. I'm not going away. Thank you. --[[User:The Iconoclast|The Iconoclast]] 23:02, 15 January 2011 (PST)

*how is obama destroying america, preventing you to watch TV? -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 01:47, 16 January 2011 (PST)

:*I've got a long laundry list: DTV conversion, Cash-for-Clunkers, ObamaCare, his takeover of GM, floating ruinous home loans to those with no credit or means to pay, unemployment at 10-12%, the fallacy of wealth redistribution, ethanol subsidies and its effect on corn farmers, failing to secure the Olympic games, Michelle's food legislation bill...plus there's Net neutrality, the Fairness Doctrine, and the proposed <s>interrment camps</s> re-education centers on the horizon. Before that it was Bill Clinton with the TV ratings system and the E/I bug. Every time the Democrats get into office we see more and more joys and freedoms die in our hands.

::By the way, do yourself a favor and actually read my work before you criticize it, so you don't come off sounding like a petulant, loudmouth idiot. --[[User:The Iconoclast|The Iconoclast]] 03:05, 16 January 2011 (PST)

:::Where can I read your work then? -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:30, 16 January 2011 (PST)
::::[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:The_Iconoclast Some examples of artwork], [http://www.freewebs.com/smokingcatcomicsandcollectibles2/index.htm summary of episodes]. Can't find any full works via google. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:45, 16 January 2011 (PST)
::::[http://www.freewebs.com/welcometolemora2/smokingcatreadinglounge.htm Here are some stories he wrote.] Also, poor layouts, annoying color schemes, all that late 90s "I kees you" Geocities-lookin shit. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 18:01, 16 January 2011 (PST)
* shut the FUCK up freecell seriously. also all this shit is just previews, that's fucking retarded. i'm not going to pay for any of this fuckery. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]] 11:50, 16 January 2011 (PST)
:: I spent a minute or two looking through the google in an attempt to find more, but this is all there is. There's some examples of art if you scroll down on the wikipedia page (in case you missed that), but there is nothing else. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:08, 16 January 2011 (PST)
::[http://www.freewebs.com/smokingcatcomicsandcollectibles/12-01.jpg OH WAIT] [http://www.freewebs.com/smokingcatcomicsandcollectibles/12-02.jpg here's] [http://www.freewebs.com/smokingcatcomicsandcollectibles/12-03.jpg one] (I'd assume - although I would never dare try it myself - that changing the numbers at the end allows you to view the other ones) [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 12:31, 16 January 2011 (PST)
* jesus freecell, fuck off. this is my fight. also those are just the preview pages. -- [[User:Clydec|Clyde]]

User talk:The Iconoclast

2011-01-16T22:38:01Z

Massive Dynamic:

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

2010-11-06T18:03:47Z

Massive Dynamic:

{{quote|But, y'know, I wouldn't—I would not wear them on a daily basis I wear briefs. I wear regular briefs. And sometimes I do, uh, I get very [[stress]]ed out from, uh, people who yell at me or, uh, misunderstand me or [[trolls|talk bad about me]]. And, and, between that and other real-life stresses, uh, it just pen—it just builds up and sometimes uh, it just—I just have to—it just comes out and I sometimes accidentally, uh…poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, pooed their childhood diapers, much less pooed their…underwear at least once in their lifetime. I mean, we're only human. Nothing to be ashamed of. And to those who find it amusing, uh, I respectfully disagree with their opinions.|[[Chris]] on his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS, [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|ECV 00095]] }}

[[Image:Autobiographical.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's gay evil twin shits himself and wets his pants.
<br>Notice that Chris uses the word "tinkle", a word used by children to describe urination.]]

'''DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS''' is a troll term for Chris's troubles with [[Wikipedia:Encopresis|encopresis]].

[[Stress]] (surprise, surprise) plays a large role in Chris's incontinence problems, as he has trouble controlling himself when under the hammer.

Chris is often expecting a fart when he suddenly realizes that the briefs that were so clean a moment ago are now DIRTY and CRAPPED<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref>.

He justifies his fecal incontinence by claiming that it is perfectly normal and quite common for adults to soil themselves on a regular basis. There are only 2 causes for a relatively healthy adult to shit themselves: 1. as a symptom of gastrointestinal distress 2. In a fit of vomiting, muscles throughout the body loosen with each successive heave to assist in expelling the stomach's contents. With all the body's energy being used for heaving, the anus is unable to stay tight and closed. This is more likely if diarrhea is present.

In [[2009#March|March 2009]], [[Ivy]] alleged that Chris's claims of dirty, crapped briefs are not, as some argued, merely skid-marks in his undergarments (presumably to assert he wears briefs enough to have skid-marks in them) but rather he has problems controlling his sphincter and apparently is open about the fact presumably to gain pity{{PublicSauce}}. It was also alleged that Chris's doctor has been trying to get him to wear [[Butt garments|pads]], and that [[Barb]] is tired of having to wash his crapped underwear{{PublicSauce}}.

It is likely that his brief-crappings are chronic, as in the chat of 04 March 2009 with [[Julie]], Julie's brother [[Max]] asks Chris if he's crapped his briefs and he yells "MAYBE!" but then admits that he has indeed crapped his pants with a "...Yes."

On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|video]] that he craps his pants when he's stressed and says that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.

On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a girl who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or perhaps he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.

Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john," Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes." CRAPPED BRIEFS are a Personal Subject.

In an [[Jackie Chat 9|AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010]], Chris revealed to [[Jackie]] that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he often doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "dirty crapped briefs." He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved him recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats that they've had and that they might have a psychic link.

On [[Don'tPintheOop|30 October 2010]], Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he craps himself, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to ''driving home'' with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons not to accept a ride from Chris.
==Transcript==
21:13 <@[[Clyde Cash|clydeC]]> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
<br>21:13 <%[[Christian Weston Chandler|ChrisChanSonichu]]> That, sir is INCORRECT.
<br>21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
<br>21:13 <@clydeC> [[:Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|OH WAIT,]] [[Muscle bra|YOU HAVE!]]
<br>21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<br>21:13 <@[[BILLY_MAYS]]> ZING
<br>21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
<br>21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
<br>21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
<br>21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
<br>21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
<br>'''21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.'''
<br>21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
<br>21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
<br>21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
<br>21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
<br>21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
<br>21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
<br>21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
<br>21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
<br>21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS

==Sources==
<references />
*[[IRC (20 January 2009)|Complete transcript of the chat containing the revelation]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms|Dirty Crapped Briefs]]

Main Page

2010-10-28T20:56:19Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 122333 by WillWright (talk)

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[[Category:Special]]

ECV 00001

2010-10-10T02:07:43Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Transcription */

[[File:Iron_eyes_cody.jpg|thumb|Iron Eyes Cody weeps from all that has been lost.]]

'''ECV 00001''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 9 [[October 2010]], in which he paraphrases [[Wikipedia:Cherokee|the Wikipedia article]] about the [[Cherokee]] while dressed as what he thinks they looked like. Throughout the video, he holds a [[PlayStation]] Move controller and a matching "Navigation Controller", probably to show off his purchase in the delusion that anyone gives a shit. Chris also returned to using his old [[PSEye]] to record this video, this causes a number of skips to occur throughout the video. Of note is how Chris is careful to elaborate how peaceful of Cherokee clan was, specifically how [[Prickly-Wicklies|war is bad.]] Yet pulls a 180 by stating how fierce they were and the [[Death threats|trolls should beware.]]

{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00001
| video = {{#ev:youtube|mum48216-C0}}
| stardate = 9 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Racism|text}}
| style =
| saga =
| shirt = {{Cwcbra|text}}
| previous = [[100 2270]]
| next = [[A Hike]]
}}

=== Transcription ===
''[Chris is wearing his muscle bra with construction paper accents to give his impression of a very very [[homos|fierce]] Cherokee warrior]''

Me noble Cherokee Man. I come to you with a brief bit of introduction to our Cherokee clan. We were a peaceful lace... peaceful race, most of our history is encrypted within Spanish history. Some of it was previously uh translated, was translated, as found on The Wikipedia under the "Cherokee" C-H-E-R-O-K-E-E.

We were very peaceful, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_of_the_hill I tell ya what.] We were so peaceful, that we found war activities to be a polluting activity. And we had and a whole and before it was revoked we had purity sessions of which our priests of our clans purified the warriors that went out into battle before they come into to the village and resume life there. And we were even bartered as sluts bartered off as slaves to the Virginia and north and northward.

And we had a whole bunch of medishin [[Tobacky|medicianal supstances]] that were created within our times by our witch doctors, which I happen to have a witch doctor. His name is on my thing there, but [[Honor_roll|I forgot memorize it.]] Which he comes from the Chandler Clan on my father's side. It was a good union, though, between my father meeting my mother for she comes from the English clan, but we were here in America first and we had our own tortures. And through a whole bunch of trials and tribulations, we ended up walking the Trail Of Tears.

Of which, as we walked the trail, some of us wandered of the trail to be hidden from those that have considered us slaves. Unfortunately, thanks to our right... thanks to our guys, slavery has been abolished altogether, including the black slaves. Though I not say that, it was of an consasensus...

''[Chris suddenly changes from offensive Indian imitation to offensive urban patois]''
Hey, we're with you on this one dude we're with you on this one dudes. I mean, we were slaves as well back in the day. But we've managed to collect ourselves, and there only a few of us left within this America and mostly there are only partial regions with us, but there are orginisations of us Cherokees within states like Oklahoma and Tennesee. More information on this as well as our history on The Wikipedia. Also, we did go off out in battle after that practice was abolished. Of which we have purified our warriors before they could return to our village. We were fierce though. We were very very fierce. But anyway, with that, don't mess with us. For we will [[CWC is Angry|shoot you]] [[Gun Comic|down]]

==See also==
*[[War Paint Video]]
*[[Cherokian Clan]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2270]]|nextlink=[[A Hike]]}}

User talk:Wintermute

2010-09-08T04:08:00Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Kacey is Lillylivers? */

y hello thar

== About the kacey date & your allergy ==

Thanks for posting that thing about the dates with Kacey. I feel that there's not nearly enough info about Kacey & her interactions with Chris, other than the phone calls.
I wanted to ask you about your allergy to Chris-Chan. When did he touch you and why? Were you with Kacey on the dates? I hope you're all better now! --[[User:Elliebytes|Elliebytes]] 19:44, 7 September 2010 (PDT)
*he wasn't actually there, you know --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 20:08, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

== You killed Armitage?! ==

WTF, I needed him to get rid of the neurotoxin!
[[User:DronePod|Gibson! it's Gibson! his head's been cut clean off!]] 11:25, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

== Kacey stuff ==

Oh. Dear. He actually insulted her and groped her. On two dates.

HOW COME NO ONE HAS FILED A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THIS SHITFUCKER?!?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:13, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Because of his AUTIZTIC CARD [[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

I really want to know what line Chris has to cross where the autism card won't cut it anymore, and how close he is to said line. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:50, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

Guys, Guys this fat fuck will eventually get his ass kicked by someone anyway just be patient.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 00:56, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

It usually only takes me one date to start groping a girl. No one's ever kicked my ass for it, they usually just grope me back. I love not being a fat fuck. [[User:Niggoducks|Niggoducks]] 05:35, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

==Were you that old Totse mod?==

The one everyone kept calling Wintercunt? If so, I thought you were female that whole time.

It's this site that used to exist, full of angsty teenagers. It teaches you to make shitty bombs that will blow up in your face and get high off of household substances. [[User:Niggoducks|Niggoducks]] 05:33, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

lol chris يعتقد أننا إرهابيون --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 03:39, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

== Do you play Space Station 13? ==

I was playing a few minutes ago and I saw a user named Wintermute. Just wanted to verify if it was you or not. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 21:20, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

Nope --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:11, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

== THE CWCKI FORUM ==

http://cwckiforum.proboards.com
IT'S LIKE PVCC FOR CWCKI PEOPLE!
[[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 13:42, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

==Heard down the grapevine...===
That you know what's what with the PS3 destruction. A friend of mine mentioned that there was an incentive to Chris destroying it instead of what he said in the videos (i.e. money). --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 21:48, 1 September 2010 (PDT)
*He doesn't know shit. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 11:29, 5 September 2010 (PDT)

==Kacey is Lillylivers?==
she is fairly plump, or is lillylivers kim?
:No. And sign your name. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 21:08, 7 September 2010 (PDT)

Chris and negotiation

2010-09-04T02:16:12Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Examples of Negotiation */

When it comes to dealing with Chris, trolls often experience a unique form of "Negotiation". Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a lifetime of coddling and [[autism|other factors that are beyond his control]], Christian Weston Chandler is horrible when it comes to compromising, or even realizing what sort of bargaining position he's in. Often, trolls blackmailing Chris will find him making demands, as if he had leverage. Conversely, some have experienced the oddity of having Chris run away from a situation where he was purposely given the upper hand. When it comes to dealing with Chris directly, one can only expect that Chris will always take the path of least resistance, even if it doesn't benefit him.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|right|Chris waiting for his china to come to him]]
{{quote|Ahm workin on it| Christian Weston Chandler on everything and anything}}

==Concept of Compromise==
'''Negotiation''' is based on compromise. Both parties must work together in order to find the best possible solution to solve both of their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this. Being completely ego-centric, Chris believes that, in any exchange, both parties share the same viewpoint: his. Chris can't stand any form of confrontation, and quickly tires if his demands aren't met exactly has he has made them.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate by either listing a bunch of ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up or do anything at all for that matter. After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge. When further pressed, he often shuts down completely, and walks away from the table, into the waiting arms of his [[PS3|hugbox]].

==Examples of Negotiation==

During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a video where he pretended to come back from Redmond, when he actually never left the house. Chris demanded that the CEO of an international company come to HIS house and meet with him. When Chris was pressed as to why the meeting had to be at his house, Chris said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, Chris made various excuses and cited his very brief employment at [[Wendy's]]. This sort of "pass the buck" attitude is very common when dealing with Chris. Nothing negative can ever be his fault.

During the Julie saga, Chris made a number of deals with Clyde Cash and The Miscreants, all of which he reneged on:

:In the first deal, Chris agreed to do a video where he came out of the closet in order to save Julie's life. In the first take, he called himself a [["gaybian"]], which was done so that he could somehow say he was gay without actually calling himself gay. He did a second take where he clearly stated that he was being forced to say he was gay. When he actually did call himself a homosexual, he mumbled it and stated he was "guhhhhh".

:The second deal was that Chris would clean his room in order to save Julie's life and that he would do a video in order to prove it was clean. In order to avoid actually having to clean his room, he merely pushed some of his stuff aside and filmed his floor for 30 seconds before he did his Captain's Log.

:The final deal resulted in the infamous [[Julie Reveals Herself]] call. [[Bluespike]], as both Julie and her kid brother Max, had gained access to Chris's [[PSN]] account. In the guise of Max, he offered Chris an ultimatum: The PSN and Yahoo accounts or Julie. In a conversation before the call, Chris told Max that he chose Julie, believing he would get everything. Right when "Max" put "Julie" on, Chris immediately asked "her" to get his PSN and Yahoo back. Failing that, he tried to guilt Max into giving it back to him. In the main call, Max gives Chris one last chance to change his choice. He sticks with Julie, despite the hold that his PSN account has over him. When Max threatened to sell his account on eBay, he revealed that he "made the right choice" and that he deserves his PSN.

Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "[[sweethearts]]" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or bus fare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the DC area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of the most recent sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with Chris as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put in a minimal amount of effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

Often, trolls will gain access to Chris's PSN, and make various demands. The most common of these demands is that he sell or throw out some of his beloved toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a quick glance at his PSN account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between [[LittleBigPlanet]], God of War 3 and [[ModNation Racers]], which leaves most of his [[List of Chris's games|vast collection of games]] untouched. Even though he doesn't use the majority of the toys and games he owns, yet he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something that would improve his life.

When he was given [[CWCipedia|his own wiki]] for free, he demanded complete executive control from day one. In Chris' mind this meant that every demand he made would be fulfilled by the staff, and that anything done without his permission would be removed immediately. He insisted on a gaudy background, and [[CWCipedia#Traitorous_mutiny|threatened to stop working]] whenever the [[Cogsdev|webmaster]] displeased him. Later, when [[Jack Thaddeus]] graciously paid for the CWCipedia's webspace with ads featuring homoerotic images, Chris went on a tirade. Chris immediately demanded that they be taken down, but refused to even consider paying for his own website. When removal failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller, as if he had some say in how large advertisements were. Chris had no concept of how advertising worked, but merely assumed that he had the final say in everything.

Later, during the "popularity contest" between [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and [[Asperchu]], he tried to make amends with [[Alec Benson Leary]] in an effort to remove Asperchu ads from the front page of the CWCkipedia. However, instead of making reparations, Chris demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to Sonichu. Chris, who was in no position to make requests, attached several "clauses" to his applogies. In fact, Chris' list of demands was larger than the apology they were bundled with. All of this came after Chris drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game of his Xbox 360 and freed a group of Rosechus that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse. After finally fulfilling most of Alec's requests in a substandard and slapdash manner, Chris killed him, his webmaster and two other comic artists in Sonichu 10 as some sort of childish form of revenge.

==Chris's Tactics==
When Chris is faced with a task requiring any effort on his part, or involves something that does not benefit him, he completely ignores it. Chris automatically disregards anything that will not befit him immediately, or almost immediately. The hardest part of negotiating with Chris, is that, if you make a demand that he does not agree to, he shuts down. Like a spoiled infant, Chris will not even deal with something that isn't self-serving and easy.

On the other hand, when you have something Chris wants, Chris will not give up until he has acquired it, under his own terms. When the road to a reward has a sign that bluntly says Chris is not eligible, he will attempt to get the reward anyway, or claim that the rules are discriminatory and unfair. Chris will pursue his goal thoughtlessly and simplemindedly, often ignoring even the idea that he might not get what he wants.

When Chris has to meet a requirement during a negotiation (ESPECIALLY deadlines), he will explain that he is "working on it". To Chris, saying this is an acceptable substitute for actual work, whether or not he is indeed "working on it". If, in his own good time, Chris feels inclined to fulfill the deal, he'll submit whenever he wants to, regardless of the original agreement, well after the deadline. If the agreement was that he would receive something for the "work" done, he demand it unceasingly, despite not holding up his end of the deal in any way, shape, or form.

Even if Chris somehow agrees to a set of terms, he will try to get around them. If he agrees to give something up for someone, he will go behind that person's back in order to get it back so that he could have both. If he agrees to draw a comic, he will most likely do something easier, like make a video or write a blog entry, figuring that that counts as work. If he agrees to willingly slander himself (like calling himself gay, for instance), he'll either mumble it so that it's incomprehensible, or he'll hide his face.

In some instances (the rare ones that he actually does what he was instructed to), anything said or done he feels slandered his good name he will simply state are lies and instruct everyone to ignore them, then will [[Mailbag 2|close his mind]] on the subject. This is [[Chris|retarded]] for two reasons. By telling his "fans" to ignore the lies, he is alerting "fans" that are a little behind on what's happening with Chris of their existence, making more people see them than would have if he didn't acknowledge them. He is also showing he is clearly aware of their existence, and still insisting they are lies.

{{incomplete}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and negotiation

2010-09-04T01:48:39Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Examples of Negotiation */

When it comes to dealing with Chris, trolls often experience a unique form of "Negotiation". Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a lifetime of coddling and [[autism|other factors that are beyond his control]], Christian Weston Chandler is horrible when it comes to compromising, or even realizing what sort of bargaining position he's in. Often, trolls blackmailing Chris will find him making demands, as if he had leverage. Conversely, some have experienced the oddity of having Chris run away from a situation where he was purposely given the upper hand. When it comes to dealing with Chris directly, one can only expect that Chris will always take the path of least resistance, even if it doesn't benefit him.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|right|Chris waiting for his china to come to him]]
{{quote|Ahm workin on it| Christian Weston Chandler on everything and anything}}

==Concept of Compromise==
'''Negotiation''' is based on compromise. Both parties must work together in order to find the best possible solution to solve both of their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this. Being completely ego-centric, Chris believes that, in any exchange, both parties share the same viewpoint: his. Chris can't stand any form of confrontation, and quickly tires if his demands aren't met exactly has he has made them.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate by either listing a bunch of ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up or do anything at all for that matter. After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge. When further pressed, he often shuts down completely, and walks away from the table, into the waiting arms of his [[PS3|hugbox]].

==Examples of Negotiation==

During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a video where he pretended to come back from Redmond, when he actually never left the house. Chris demanded that the CEO of an international company come to HIS house and meet with him. When Chris was pressed as to why the meeting had to be at his house, Chris said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, Chris made various excuses and cited his very brief employment at [[Wendy's]]. This sort of "pass the buck" attitude is very common when dealing with Chris. Nothing negative can ever be his fault.

Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "[[sweethearts]]" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or bus fare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the DC area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of the most recent sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with Chris as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put in a minimal amount of effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

Often, trolls will gain access to Chris' [[PSN]], and make various demands. The most common of these demands is that he sell or throw out some of his beloved toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a quick glance at his PSN account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between [[LittleBigPlanet]], God of War 3 and [[ModNation Racers]], which leaves most of his [[List of Chris's games|vast collection of games]] untouched. Even though he doesn't use the majority of the toys and games he owns, yet he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something that would improve his life.

When he was given [[CWCipedia|his own wiki]] for free, he demanded complete executive control from day one. In Chris' mind this meant that every demand he made would be fulfilled by the staff, and that anything done without his permission would be removed immediately. He insisted on a gaudy background, and [[CWCipedia#Traitorous_mutiny|threatened to stop working]] whenever the [[Cogsdev|webmaster]] displeased him. Later, when [[Jack Thaddeus]] graciously paid for the CWCipedia's webspace with ads featuring homoerotic images, Chris went on a tirade. Chris immediately demanded that they be taken down, but refused to even consider paying for his own website. When removal failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller, as if he had some say in how large advertisements were. Chris had no concept of how advertising worked, but merely assumed that he had the final say in everything.

Later, during the "popularity contest" between [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and [[Asperchu]], he tried to make amends with [[Alec Benson Leary]]. However, instead of making reparations, Chris demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to Sonichu. Chris, who was in no position to make requests, attached several "clauses" to his applogies. In fact, Chris' list of demands was larger than the apology they were bundled with. All of this came after Chris drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game of his Xbox 360 and freed a group of Rosechus that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse. After finally fulfilling most of Alec's requests in a substandard and slapdash manner, Chris killed him, his webmaster and two other comic artists in Sonichu 10 as some sort of childish form of revenge.

==Chris's Tactics==
When Chris is faced with a task requiring any effort on his part, or involves something that does not benefit him, he completely ignores it. Chris automatically disregards anything that will not befit him immediately, or almost immediately. The hardest part of negotiating with Chris, is that, if you make a demand that he does not agree to, he shuts down. Like a spoiled infant, Chris will not even deal with something that isn't self-serving and easy.

On the other hand, when you have something Chris wants, Chris will not give up until he has acquired it, under his own terms. When the road to a reward has a sign that bluntly says Chris is not eligible, he will attempt to get the reward anyway, or claim that the rules are discriminatory and unfair. Chris will pursue his goal thoughtlessly and simplemindedly, often ignoring even the idea that he might not get what he wants.

When Chris has to meet a requirement during a negotiation (ESPECIALLY deadlines), he will explain that he is "working on it". To Chris, saying this is an acceptable substitute for actual work, whether or not he is indeed "working on it". If, in his own good time, Chris feels inclined to fulfill the deal, he'll submit whenever he wants to, regardless of the original agreement, well after the deadline. If the agreement was that he would receive something for the "work" done, he demand it unceasingly, despite not holding up his end of the deal in any way, shape, or form.

Even if Chris somehow agrees to a set of terms, he will try to get around them. If he agrees to give something up for someone, he will go behind that person's back in order to get it back so that he could have both. If he agrees to draw a comic, he will most likely do something easier, like make a video or write a blog entry, figuring that that counts as work. If he agrees to willingly slander himself (like calling himself gay, for instance), he'll either mumble it so that it's incomprehensible, or he'll hide his face.

In some instances (the rare ones that he actually does what he was instructed to), anything said or done he feels slandered his good name he will simply state are lies and instruct everyone to ignore them, then will [[Mailbag 2|close his mind]] on the subject. This is [[Chris|retarded]] for two reasons. By telling his "fans" to ignore the lies, he is alerting "fans" that are a little behind on what's happening with Chris of their existence, making more people see them than would have if he didn't acknowledge them. He is also showing he is clearly aware of their existence, and still insisting they are lies.

{{incomplete}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and negotiation

2010-09-04T01:20:23Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Chris's Tactics */

When it comes to dealing with Chris, trolls often experience a unique form of "Negotiation". Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a lifetime of coddling and [[autism|other factors that are beyond his control]], Christian Weston Chandler is horrible when it comes to comprising, or even realizing what sort of barging position he's in. Often, trolls blackmailing Chris will find him making demands, as if he had leverage. Conversely, some have experienced the oddity of having Chris run away from a situation where he was purposely given the upper hand. When it comes to dealing with Chris directly, one can only expect that Chris will always take the path of least resistance, even if it doesn't benefit him.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|right|Chris waiting for his china to come to him]]
{{quote|Ahm workin on it| Christian Weston Chandler on everything and anything}}

==Concept of Compromise==
'''Negotiation''' is based on compromise. Both parties must work together in order to find the best possible solution to solve both of their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this. Being completely ego-centric, Chris believes that, in any exchange, both parties share the same viewpoint: his. Chris can't stand any form of confrontation, and quickly tires if his demands aren't met exactly has he has made them.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate by either listing a bunch of ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up or do anything at all for that matter. After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge. When further pressed, he often shuts down completely, and walks away from the table, into the waiting arms of his [[PS3|hugbox]].

==Examples of Negotiation==

During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a video where he pretended to come back from Redmond, when he actually never left the house. Chris demanded that the CEO of an international company come to HIS house and meet with him. When Chris was pressed as to why the meeting had to be at his house, Chris said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, Chris made various excuses and cited his very brief employment at [[Wendy's]. This sort of "pass the buck" attitude is very common when dealing with Chris. Nothing negative can ever be his fault.

Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "[[sweethearts]]" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or bus fare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the DC area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of the most recent sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with Chris as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put in a minimal amount of effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

Often, trolls will gain access to Chris' [[PSN]], and make various demands. The most common of these demands is that he sell or throw out some of his beloved toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a quick glance at his PSN account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between [[LittleBigPlanet]], God of War 3 and [[ModNation Racers]], which leaves most of his [[List of Chris's games|vast collection of games]] untouched. Even though he doesn't use the majority of the toys and games he owns, yet he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something that would improve his life.

When he was given [[CWCipedia|his own wiki]] for free, he demanded complete executive control from day one. In Chris' mind this meant that every demand he made would be fulfilled by the staff, and that anything done without his permission would be removed immediately. He insisted on a gaudy background, and [[CWCipedia#Traitorous_mutiny|threatened to stop working]] whenever the [[Cogsdev|webmaster]] displeased him. Later, when [[Jack Thaddeus]] graciously paid for the CWCipedia's webspace with ads featuring homoerotic images, Chris went on a tirade. Chris immediately demanded that they be taken down, but refused to even consider paying for his own website. When removal failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller, as if he had some say in how large advertisements were. Chris had no concept of how advertising worked, but merely assumed that he had the final say in everything.

Later, during the "popularity contest" between [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] and [[Asperchu]],he tried to make amends with [[Alec Benson Leary]]. However, instead of making reparations, Chris demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to Sonichu. Chris, who was in no position to make requests, attached several "clauses" to his applogies. In fact, Chris' list of demands was larger than the apology they were bundled with. All of this came after Chris drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game of his Xbox 360 and freed a group of Rosechus that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse.

==Chris's Tactics==
When Chris is faced a task requiring any effort on his part, or involves something that does not benefit him, he completely ignores it. Chris automatically disregards anything that will not befit him immediately, or almost immediately. The hardest part of negotiating with Chris, is that, if you make a demand that he does not agree to, he shuts down. Like a spoiled infant, Chris will not even deal with something that isn't self-serving and easy.

On the other hand, when you have something Chris wants, Chris will not give up until he has acquired it, under his own terms. When the road to a reward has a sign that bluntly says Chris is not eligible, he will attempt to get the reward anyway, or claim that the rules are discriminatory and unfair. Chris will pursue his goal thoughtlessly and simplemindedly, often ignoring even the idea that he might not get what he wants.

When Chris has to meet a requirement during a negotiation (ESPECIALLY deadlines), he will explain that he is "working on it". To Chris, saying this is an acceptable substitute for actual work, whether or not he is indeed "working on it". If, in his own good time, Chris feels inclined to fulfill the deal, he'll submit whenever he wants to, regardless of the original agreement, well after the deadline. If the agreement was that he would receive something for the "work" done, he demand it unceasingly, despite not holding up his end of the deal in any way, shape, or form.

Even if Chris somehow agrees to a set of terms, he will try to get around them. If he agrees to give something up for someone, he will go behind that person's back in order to get it back so that he could have both. If he agrees to draw a comic, he will most likely do something easier, like make a video or write a blog entry, figuring that that counts as work. If he agrees to willingly slander himself(like calling himself gay,for instance), he'll either mumble it so that it's incomprehensible, or he'll hide his face.

{{incomplete}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and negotiation

2010-09-03T22:24:42Z

Massive Dynamic:

Due to a severe sense of [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]], a lifetime of coddling and [[autism|other factors that are beyond his control]], Christian Weston Chandler is horrible when it comes to negotiation.

==Chris can't compromise==
Negotiation is based on compromise. Both parties must work together in order to find the best possible solution to solve both of their problems in a satisfactory manner. Chris doesn't understand this.

On numerous occasions, Chris has tried to negotiate by either listing a bunch of ridiculous demands or outright refusing to give anything up or do anything at all for that matter. After he makes his case, his mind is "closed on the matter" and he is unwilling to budge.

When he was given [[CWCipedia|his own wiki]] for free, he demanded that ads featuring homoerotic images were taken down. When that failed, he said that he wanted them to be smaller. When he couldn't have that done, he said that he wanted them to be moved. He wanted to have total control over his ad space even though the owner sold it to [[Jack Thaddeus]]. When he tried to make amends with Alec Benson Leary, the acclaimed creator of Asperchu, he demanded that Alec tell his fans to go back to Sonichu. This was after he drew a comic where he broke into Alec's house, stole a dating game of his XBox and freed a group of Rosechus that he implied were the victims of sexual abuse.

==Chris is lazy==
Many of these scenarios involve Chris actually getting off his ass and doing something. During the Nintendo saga, [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] stated that Chris must meet him at Nintendo's American headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Chris handled this by making a video where he pretended to come back from Redmond. When he was pressed on the matter, he said that he had no money. When he was asked why he had no money, he said he had no job. When he was asked why he didn't have a job, he said... and so on.

One of the demands Chris faces often is that he sell or throw out some of his toys or games. Despite his claims that he plays with everything in his room, a quick glance at his [[PSN]] account shows otherwise. Most of his PSN activity is divided between [[LittleBigPlanet]], God of War 3 and [[ModNation Racers]], which leaves most of his games untouched. Even though he doesn't use the vast majority of the toys and games he owns, he refuses to sell them. This refusal is usually followed up by him saying that he doesn't have the money to do something.

[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|right|Chris waiting for his china to come to him]]
{{quote|Oh God- every single woman, you wanted them to come to your house, you wanted... Sarah to come to your house, you wanted Julie to come to your house, you are so lazy- why don't you leave your house?| Clyde Cash in [[Mumble 3]]}}

Whenever Chris wants to meet one of his "[[sweethearts]]" in real life, he usually wants them to come to him, no matter how difficult such a trip would be. He wanted [[PandaHalo]] to come to him despite her living in Australia. He wanted [[Julie]] to come to him even though she was supposedly a poor immigrant who couldn't afford a car or busfare. He wanted [[Kacey]] to come to him even though she lived in the DC area, which is an hour or so from Ruckersville.

One of the most recent sweethearts, [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]], was willing to have a relationship with Chris as long as he tried to become a better person. Instead of trying to put in a minimal amount of effort and try to better himself, he decided to end things.

{{incomplete}}
{{Chris and}}
[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and negotiation

2010-09-03T22:18:46Z

Massive Dynamic: Created page with "Due to a severe sense of entitlement, a lifetime of coddling and other factors that are beyond his control, Christian Weston Chandler is horrible..."

Talk:August 2010

2010-08-08T14:39:41Z

Massive Dynamic:

<blockquote>
Chris is seen at his creepiest, saying "I love you, Mother" to Barb.
</blockquote>

What's creepy about loving your mother, bro? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 08:39, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
:It's how it sound. saying "I love you Mom" is not very creepy and actually endearing. Saying "I love you Mother" sounds like either Chris is a robot or has lost attachment with humanity.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 08:51, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
::That, and he's a fat manchild living with his parents. What else do you need to know? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 09:02, 7 August 2010 (PDT)

Where's the proof for this? There has been trolls before who've made up stories. I'm not ready to believe anything just because of a dry spell. --[[User:Hans Gruber|Hans Gruber]] 02:45, 8 August 2010 (PDT)
*Seconded, I don't know why you guys are all jumping on this. It doesn't sound like Chris and it's far too descriptive to be real (Hey guise I was watching Chris kick some games and at the same time I was watching the other people not roll their eyes at him because he's probably done this before derp). If this is real, there should be proof, and until then, we don't need to fill the site with fiction. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 07:03, 8 August 2010 (PDT)
**The person who put that up there was one of the people who spotted Chris at a Fridays After Five concert a few weeks ago. And yes, there were pictures from that. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 07:39, 8 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:IRC:Contents

2010-08-02T03:09:43Z

Massive Dynamic:

i keep disconnecting for no reason[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 22:35, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I've never actually seen anyone on the IRC. Ever. [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 11:02, 1 August 2010 (EST)
*You're not doing it right. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 03:09, 2 August 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Main Page

2010-08-02T01:52:36Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 107392 by Obama (Talk)suck a dick, no homo

{{protip|This talk page should serve as a place to discuss improving the overall front page of CWCki. For discussion on improvements to CWCki overall, please see the [[CWCki:Community Portal|Community Portal]]. For discussing individual front page templates, please refer to the discussion pages of those templates.}}

""Wait, what?"" - I read the changes to Chris' blog- girlfriend?! What do we think folks- a troll, or entirely fictional? I'm inclined to go with the latter, since every time Chris even so much as has a woman not completely blow him off he is screaming it from the rooftops. Should we ask him in the mailbag if this is finally the end of his Love Quest? Is this Lovely Weather, or Chloe? So many questions! -- Ronichu (the TRUE and ORIGINAL Rosechu/Sonichu hybrid character, do not steal!)

'''Archives''': [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1|1]]

Mailbag 41 is up. Also, there are now a glorious Asperchu-related YouTube video embedded on the top half of the page. Nice one!

== New Article of the now/discussion page cleanup ==
The article of the now hasn't changed in awhile. May I choose a new one? Also, can someone clean up this discussion page?<br /><br />'''These topics are OLD and should be deleted:'''<br />Lock this page<br />Someone with move rights...<br />25 Days without an outrage my ass!<br />
== Lock this page ==
I think it is about time that this page is locked so only admins can edit it.--[[User:Blachman|Blachman]] 18:59, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

*Seconded. Very seconded. [[User:LStaley416|LStaley416]] 19:01, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*To be fair, the reason why it's unlocked is because in my opinion, I know that I'm proned to fucking shit up when I tinker with the front page and people might actually want to add something neat to the front page. I understand the concern due to recent vandalism, so if others users feel this way, then the front page will be locked. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:05, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*Is it possible to change the new user creation so it requires admin approval? That'd make it harder for faggots to simply sign up and vandalize the place, you could make them go through the IRC channel or something. Of course, that goes against the idea of a wiki being open to editing, but there's not really a nice way of stopping vandalism. [[User:SirCucumber|SirCucumber]] 19:27, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
:*CWCki, as I see it, strives to be open and people should be encouraged to edit it. Going into IRC shouldn't really be a prerequisite of CWCki. Some people don't like IRC and that's fine. Frankly, we're not really in a position to restrict users. As cogs said, she's working on installing an extension which will can easily spot vandalism and reverse it instantly since Cogs, myself, and Clyde can't monitor CWCki every single second. There's some really neat stuff bots can do with MediaWiki in respect to vandalism. But anyways, any wiki is subject to vandalism, but we learn to handle it and hopefully an extensions and maybe an anti-vandalism patrol will help. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:34, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*well, it's only one person, and the vandalism is fairly regular. i think granting some users anti-vandalism powers and possibly installing an extension will do. --[[User:Cogsdev|cogsdev/vedsgoc]] 19:43, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

== Someone with move rights... ==

...plz move Main Page/Archive 1 to [[Talk:Main Page/Archive 1]]. What happens in Talk: should stay in Talk:, and people who (for example) whack [[Special:Random]] should be spared from these ramblings =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' <span style="font-size:smaller;">([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]])</span> 19:59, 23 September 2009 (CEST)
*Good point, sometimes I miss small details like that D:. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:34, 23 September 2009 (CEST)

Chris has uploaded pages 84[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P84.jpg] and 85[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Image:SchuComic9P85.jpg] Someone with rights update kthnxbai [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]] 00:44, 25 November 2009 (CET)

== Streamlining ==

There are a few modifications that I think the front page really needs. Namely, there needs to be an area that links to all the general areas most important to understanding Chris, such as the comics, the videos, the troll sagas, the CWCisms, etc. I recommend replacing the links in the "CWC Canon" with this. Do we really need a direct link to [[How the Pokémon came into Our Poke Balls]]? --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:00, 1 December 2009 (CET)
*The thing is, those are texts directly written by Chris himself. It's like, the direct word of Chris while everything else is merely commentary. Personally, I think Chris's Wikipedia page is like the perfect introduction to hear how fucked up Chris is from Chris himself for those who are uninitiated. However, I think it might be handy to have like a "Essentials" box of key articles.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:29, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

== 25 Days Without an Outage, My Ass! ==

That is all. --[[User:Tristran|Tristran]] 01:24, 11 December 2009 (CET)

== CWCipedia Tracker needs to be updated ==

The CWCipedia Tracker needs to be updated so it says thatChris answered the letters in Mailbag 24. Also, it probably should say he fell for a tranny.
:...Then update it.
:Also, sign your posts.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:20, 30 December 2009 (CET)
:: Done with care and just for you, dear Anonymous!!! [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:22, 30 December 2009 (CET)
:::And that is why Griffintown is a better person than me--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:44, 30 December 2009 (CET)

== Suggestions for video of the now ==
Idk if this is a good place to do this, tell me if it is or not, I'm kinda new to this wiki, and wiki's in general, but [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxdvUwhg7jg Christian Weston Chandler CWC Sonichu's confession] [[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 06:15, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Link fixed. Meh, seems long and tedious. I couldn't get through it. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:42, 3 January 2010 (CET)
:*It's pretty lulzy at the end. --[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 07:06, 3 January 2010 (CET)
*Another suggestion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3bvd0XIMZU--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 22:38, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
:*This was already the video of the now around 30 December or so. Also in the future, please go [[:Template talk:Video of the now|here]] to suggest videos for the Video of the now.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:18, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
*found this thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLHtpVY3lhQ&feature=related just suggesting ,[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 23:10, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

==Missed Comic days==
Should we really count the days that the CWCipedia was down against him? He couldn't upload pages, yet the situation was his damn fault anyway. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 13:11, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
:* I think we should include that as missed comic days. It's not like he uploaded extra comics to make up for it. --[[User:Morganna|Morganna]] 13:47, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
*I was thinking of maybe adding an asterisk next to the missing page count with note mentioning the outage time. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 19:30, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

==what the fuck?==
www.sonichu.com now redirects to some stupid shit about asperchu or something. isn't www.sonichu.com supposed to redirect to here?--[[User:Toughdog6789|Toughdog6789]] 19:24, 8 January 2010 (UTC) (forgot to sign when i originally posted, sorry)
*Okay, two things. First of all, it's probably for the best. It'll help keep Chris from finding the site (if he hasn't already, that is, in the case that he has then at least he won't be able to find it anymore since the URL change) and also because Chris will be pissed if he finds out. He despises Asperchu, and the thought that it's growing bigger than Sonichu and is using him to garner popularity will probably make him tard rage. Second of all, sign your fucking posts. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:53, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:*It really doesn't fucking matter if Chris finds CWCki or not, he probably doesn't give a shit and won't believe it. Second of all, everyone loves Asperchu, and Alec Benson Leary is doing to the Sonichu comics what Liquid did for Chris's videos. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 02:08, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
::*I thought the Sonichu.com redirect was fucking brilliant. Prove to Chris that Alec Benson Leary is better than him in every possible way.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:11, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:::Chris already knows about the CWCki. He blanked the front page once whining about it and was promptly banned. [[User:Evang|Evang]] 06:16, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
::::I thought that was a white knight.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:39, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:::::Wasn't chris. Chris probably looked at this and thought UGH TOO MANY WORDS and quit. but yeah asperchu is the next big thing. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:42, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
::::::That's the story I have heard. He said the proverbial TL;DR and left. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:59, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
:::::::Actually Griffintwon, you're thinking of the story of when Chris found /cwc/. He couldn't even attempt to post the because there were "too many words" and the page's background hurt his eyes. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 22:42, 8 January 2010 (UTC)

==Okay==

Why the fuck isn't the main page protected? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 05:48, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
*What the fuck was with the whole "Chris-chan is dead guiz, srsly" on the front page? [[User:NasuGrave|NasuGrave]] 21:50, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
*1) because people, in theory, should be allowed to improve the main page, 2) we're getting pretty good at stopping vandalism in the race occurrences it happens. Also, to address NasuGrave, I imagine this is some faggot who thinks LULZ ROFLMAO in saying that Chris is dead and giving credit to his shitty troll persona no one gives a shit about. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:52, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Cchandlersonichu]] here you are champ. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 05:53, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
***[[User:Gutcruncher]]. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 05:56, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
:::Gutcruncher looks safe, but we'll keep an eye all new accounts for a while. Good night and good luck, all --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 06:35, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
I just blocked a user called "Therealccwc" out of the CWCki. I guess our vandal is out in the cold. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:39, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
== Front page vandalized. ==

Does this happen often? [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 05:56, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

*No. This faggotry is a rare occurrence. Just bear with it. [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 05:57, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

*Yeah, I thought so. Well, It's all fixed up anyways. [[User:Fefnir|Fefnir]] 06:02, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

===Page protection===

I strongly avoid second guessing my fellow admins but I feel that Clyde may have reacted too strongly to the current vandalism. In theory, I think if someone wants to edit the front page, they should be allowed to do so, as people could genuinely have valid contributions. I'm protecting it for two weeks so the current vandals will probably get it's a bad idea to vandalize the CWCki by that time.<br>
I think that front page vandalism is a rare occurrence, the last time this happened was back in October and we've been fine since then so I personally disagree with permanently protecting the front page (after all, we're not CWCipedia :3). However, if people want to talk about permanently protecting the page, let's open the discussion and I will be glad to permanently protect the page if this truly reflects the needs and wishes of the CWCki community. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:21, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
*Huh, turns out I can block new users from editing pages. I'll consult Cogs to see what constitutes a "new" user because if that's the case, I think our best option would just to block new users from editing the main page which pretty much rules out vandals.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:43, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
**no you're stupid champ, no one has edited the front page to make it contain anything useful besides you [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:46, 13 January 2010 (UTC)
::*NO U. Also, you did :p. And in theory, someone could make things look cooler in ways neither you nor I could. Anyways, since I know when to pick my battles, if you have an idea for the front page, post it on this talk page. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:49, 13 January 2010 (UTC)

==Shirts==
[[User:Kynes|Kynes]] has been doing some good work on Chris's [[Chris and Fashion|shirts]], and I noticed there is some white space (well, green space) on the main page, so here's a quick little shirt tracker if anybody's interested! --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 00:01, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
{{Shirt of the Now
|file= Christshirt4.png
|name = Advice Dog
|date = 12 [[January 2010]]
|counter = three}}

* Yes, please. It would be interesting (in a horrifying sense, of course) to know how long his shirts have been marinating in his bodily odors and fluids before he finally decides to change his clothes a week later.--[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 14:40, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

== Mailbag 41 ==

It's up already, Chris is probably going to go fucking crazy since every single one is either criticizing him or praising Asperchu. I bet he deletes 3/4's of it. [[User:Sandworm|Sandworm]] 01:52, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

==Hardlinks to Old CWCki==
[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=Special:LinkSearch&target=http%3A%2F%2Fcogsdev.110mb.com%2Fcwcki%2F&namespace=0 Check it out]

The only hardlinks left are ones that originate in '''Template:Christory''' pages for dates that haven't been added yet. If somebody wants to be a TRUE hero, they should start going through those templates for hardlink instances and fixing them. --[[User:Dude|Dude]] 02:18, 19 January 2010 (UTC)

== Spanish ==

I wanna translate the pages to spanish .. how Where edit this...{{unsigned|hematofilo}}
*For now, if you really want to translate pages to Spanish, I'd make subpages in the time being until we could work out a Spanish namespace. For instance, put your translation for [[Christian Weston Chandler]] to [[Christian Weston Chandler/Spanish]]. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:49, 28 January 2010 (UTC)
*What. [[User:Artiph|Artiph the Destroyer, Omniscient Archmage, bearer of the Grimoire of Destruction, whose powers by and large surpass that of the Great Wizard CrassCrab, Lord of the Seven Realm and Master of the Archane Black Arts of the Eleventh Trans-Dimensional Vortex]] 17:12, 24 January 2010 (UTC)

==Quote of the Now request==
"How old do you think I am? [[Lie|I am not an immature child]]; I am 27 years old." From [[Mailbag 45]]. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 01:15, 27 January 2010 (UTC)<br>
"I have already donated a healthy sum into the funds that have exceeded $57 million." Even better. Apparently he doesn't need his monthly tugboat after all! --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 21:21, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

People, if it's a decent quote, you're welcome to update [[:Template:Quote of the now|the template]] yourself. If it sucks, I'll revert it, if not, I'll keep it. By the way JM, I think he's not saying he's donated $57 million, just that he's donated to a fund that has raised this much. Poor wording, yes, but not totally fail wording. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 21:27, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

:*Thanks, didn't realize it was a template. --[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 21:55, 27 January 2010 (UTC)

:*And neither did I. Also, cheers Champthom, it really is bad wording, and I was doubting Chris-chan would make even ''that'' big a lie. --[[User:JM1987|JM1987]] 00:58, 29 January 2010 (UTC)

== Front page templates ==

So this page isn't clogged up with "Hay, [x] should have [y]", here are links to front page templates:
*[[Template:Picture of the now]]
*[[Template:Video of the now]]
*[[Template:Quote of the now]]

Article of the now is protected, but feel free to suggest articles on the [[Template talk:Article of the now|talk page]].

If your suggestion sucks, I'll revert it, if not, I'll keep it. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 09:48, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Removing the outage thing ==

If there's no outage by the end of the month, I'm going to delete the outage counter from the header. It's served us well but since we have a new server, I don't think outages will be a problem anymore. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 23:12, 28 January 2010 (UTC)

== Chris has discovered this Wiki ==

Is that good or bad? --[[User:Ninjaclown|Ninjaclown]] 05:42, 10 March 2010 (UTC)

*Depends. Do you like to be attacked in YouTube videos? If so, then it's a good thing. CWCki is just the latest in a long line of things Chris blames for his life other than himself. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 05:59, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

:*This talk page should be used to discuss the improvement of the main page. Talk about CWCki goes in [[CWCki:Community Portal|here]]. I've started a discussion [[CWCki:Community_Portal#So_Chris_has_discovered_the_CWCki_.28finally.29|here]] to discuss this topic.

::It very well could start into a saga but good sagas are never planned. I plan on making a video to defend the honor of the CWCki and we'll see where it goes from there.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:52, 11 March 2010 (UTC)

== Countdown to TROUBLE? ==

What do you all think of getting a timer on the front page that counts down to midnight EST tonight? And maybe after midnight passes, and we haven't all been eaten by the ghost of Patti, a timer that counts how overdue the TROUBLE is? (Or did he mean midnight of Thursday/Friday? Dammit, even his precision is imprecise!) --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 18:06, 12 March 2010 (UTC)
*He just postponed it to the 31st, but I could put something like that in the CWCipedia Tracker. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 09:53, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

In about 24 hours the deadline will be up. Chris will hopefully put up another "TAKE DOWN THAT SITE!" video, not like he can do much else. Of course we may want to keep tabs on the pages in question just in case Chris decides to edit them himself. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 03:39, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

*I'm pretty sure the relevant articles are locked to editing. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 05:10, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
:*I think the plan is to document and revert any edits Chris might make. He does have a major tendency to blab information when he doesn't mean to, and that plays right into our hands. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 05:14, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
::*I have to agree. Trouble? This is Tarditude delivered to our doorsteps! Besides, I have yet to see Chris's personal army attempting something against the CWCki. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:18, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

*Main threat, IMHO, is white knights and other faggots who want to give into Chris's demands to get Chris's attention for various reasons, or just to troll us all. In any case, pages are locked.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 07:23, 31 March 2010 (UTC)

== Replace CWCipedia Tracker with PSTripple Tracker ==

I think it would be more active than the CWCipedia tracker for sure... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 15:36, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
* Heh. One way or the other, yeah, the CWCipedia tracker has just about outlived its usefulness. I dunno if "Chris got four more trophies in Heavy Rain today" is really main page-worthy, but there might be something that could occupy the space more effectively now. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 16:15, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
* We can go with that. At the same time, go ahead and keep the CWCipedia tracker around just in case he (*GASP*) ''decides to update!'' <sub>Pfft. Should turn it into an Asperchu tracker.</sub>--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 16:20, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
* Whatever he does after CWCipedia, we can convert it into that. Until then, a PS3 tracker is probably more useful... --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:04, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
* First, let's wait for confirmation that Chris dumping CWCipedia. There's a remote chance he'll actually come back. Until then, let's keep it around. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 18:58, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
* Yeah- he's actually fighting to revert. I'm impressed with him. --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 18:59, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
*Are the changes to the CWCipedia saved somehow? A timeline could be made with those dates.[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 20:03, 21 March 2010 (UTC)
**Looks like he's still updating it from time to time. Also, where can I find the PS3 tracker?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:19, 26 March 2010 (UTC)
***It was no surprise that his recent announcement that he was leaving the internet forever was a total lie. We all knew he wouldn't stay off the internet for long. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:13, 26 March 2010 (UTC)

== I just noticed... ==

There are still a few items on the Cwcipedia main page that Chris hasn't removed/noticed. The "Did you know..." section under the Twitter feed reads things like:

* ...that Christian Weston Chandler is still looking for a joy-boy?
* ...that Rosechu is a shallow character who cheats on Sonichu with Magi-chan?
* ...that Christian Weston Chandler likes it rough from men with hairy bums?
* ...that Christian Weston Chandler drinks semen?

How long does anyone think it'll take for him to notice that his own site is mocking him?

-- [[Aldrasio]]

:I don't know, Aldrasio. I just don't know. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 01:04, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

== new chris vid ==

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyUey1YLbb8&feature=player_embedded# I dunno how to ad it
* I did it. It's all set up for someone to TRANSCRIBE DIS BITCH! --[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 23:04, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

I just noticed that Chris changes the catogories on his youtube videos,selecting comedy for certain ones, to non profits & activism on others and so on. Should this be included in the CWCki video descriptions ? -- [[User:DamianAntaria|DamianAntaria]]

== CWCipedia has a problem ==

The site is experiencing technical difficulties. It seems like it's been like that all day. Is it worth adding to the tracker?

--[[User:Aldrasio|Aldrasio]] 00:57, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

:It's just 110 MB going down again. But sure, why not.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:07, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

== We're back. ==

After a 2 day outage, the CWCki has returned. Enjoy. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 00:05, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

I dunno what you're talking about; I never had an issue accessing the site. Pics or didn't happen. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 00:06, 2 May 2010 (UTC)
:Some people got their IPs blocked for unintended spamming requests. This message is for those people. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 00:07, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

==Daily comic update tally: number of days delivered?==

Being that Chris promised to update every day and not just to produce like 365.25 or whatever pages a year, it might be interesting to tally up the number of days he actually delivered along with the number of days he missed. I don't have the authority to edit the front page, but as of today it's like 43. Out of 187. Which is like 23%. Which is [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:485-CWCsF.JPG an F]. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:51, 19 May 2010 (UTC)
*Technically it's slightly better than that, as he stopped that policy in like February. I'm pretty sure he still would have failed on a normal grading scale, though. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 23:37, 21 May 2010 (UTC)
:*Right, that. I'm confused. There were only 103 days from 14 November 2009 to 24 February 2010 and as of this writing the tracker says that the count ended on 24/2/09 ''and'' that he's missed 146, but that number's consistent with a count continuing for the 189 days completed from 14/11/09 to today. Should that be redacted and finalized somehow? I mean, everyone knew he wasn't going to do what he said he'd do, but it's interesting to see the [[Fail|final statistics]]. All I did to calculate his percentage was subtract the stated days missed from the total number of days and then divide by the total number of days times 100%, but I guess I don't know what the number of days missed was on 24 February. If he consistently hasn't updated the comic for the 88 days since 24/2/10, I guess it would be 43 / 103 * 100% ≈ 42%, which is, I dunno, an F+ I guess. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 18:35, 22 May 2010 (UTC)

==Flipnote Hatena Tracker==

Since almost every recent Chris update has been on Flipnote Hatena, I was thinking that perhaps we should create a template to be used exclusively to list his contributions to that site, much like the old CWCipedia tracker. --[[User:ThatMan|ThatMan]] 01:44, 28 June 2010 (UTC)

:Agreed. Mostly because of his lulzy Comments--[[User:Djyellow|Djyellow]]
*Sim salla bin! So shall it be written, so shall it be done [[:Template:Flipnote Studio Tracker|here]].--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:45, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

So how long do we wait before taking this off the front page? It's not entirely unlikely that Chris will try to get back on the site.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:33, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== New User, looking to help ==
I have been following Chris for years, can't get enough of him. I was elated when I discovered this site and wanted to help any way that I can. Where would the help be most appreciated? --[[User:KidneyStone|KidneyStone]] 18:22, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
:* I'd recommend that you hang around the IRC channel and talk with the other people there, make yourselves known. Talk to the higher ups, see if there's anything they need. I'd also recommend you do a little bit of transcription and edit articles, people notice that kinda stuff and it's sorely needed. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 11:33, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

Magical Man Potion

2010-08-02T01:45:01Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 107374 by Obama (Talk)

'''Magical Man Potion''' is a video released 24 [[February 2010]]. It appears [[Chris]] is goofing around with his mystery guest's camera and trying out the special effects software that came with it. In this video, we see Chris mixing together some sort of [[Navy|vile potion]] that temporarily transforms him into someone who's not Chris, and therefore better. Notable in that it features the unknown individual, the first time a person not related to Chris has appeared in one of his videos.

In this video we find Chris fooling around with some unknown beverages and [[April 16 Fetish Vids#Fanta:_Semen_Flavor|mixing them]], while laughing like an idiot. Chris then proceeds to drink the concoction and transforms into an unknown [[trolls|person]]. This person is wearing Chris's clothes and what appears to be the [[Asperchu]] medallion that featured prominently in a [[02 March 2010|later video]]. The unknown person then grumbles in pain from the semen and turns back into an autistic fat bastard. The only known humans/animals who have ever breached the sanctum of Chris's bedroom until now are [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Kitty Chandler|Kitty]].

It should be stated without a doubt that Chris ripped the concept straight out of [[wikipedia:Jekyll and Hyde|Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde]], though considering his (lack of) knowledge of [[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!|Scottish]] literature, he most likely got it indirectly, possibly from [[Things Chris has ripped off|some cartoon]] making a reference.

The [[Plush Breasts|Plush Breasts of Fail]] once again make an appearance. Chris clearly could not be assed to hide his sex toys when he had company over.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Magical Man Potion
| image = {{#ev:youtube|wO8ML-7LnSA}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 24 February 2010
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter =
| Performance Style = {{Crazy}} Crazy, {{Comedy}} Comedy
| Shirt = [[image:Orangeshirt.png]] Orange
| Saga = N/A
| previous = [[Christian Love Day (video)]]
| next = [[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mixes various liquids together through the first part of this video. There are quite a few jump cuts as he mixes his "concoction".'']

'''Chris:''' Mhaaha haah hah hah ha ha (camera skip) ha hah aha ahah. We are going to make a concoction today uh uh uh ababenerch and a little [[Yawning Squirtle|squ-wirt]],... let's mix'er well AH AH HA ha ha HA. Furry.

[''Chris drinks the concoction'']

'''Chris:''' It's not bad.

[''Chris makes a series of gasping and coughing noises, posing dramatically all the while, before ducking behind a table. There is a camera transition, and an unknown man wearing the Asperchu medallion emerges.'']

'''Unknown:''' WhoAh wow that's... not bad actually. Feeling pretty good, feeling a little anxious, frisky. I wonder where a guy like me could go to get a little action? You know... I betcha I know I just... Ahhrrr, gotta work... on-

[''The unknown man makes a series of coughing and gagging noises, before ducking down once again. There is another camera transition, and Chris emerges.'']

'''Chris:''' Urhh urrhggg ahh. I need to work on the time length. To be continuuuued!

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Christian Love Day (video)]]|nextlink=[[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]]|}}

{{videos}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

W-M-Manajerk

2010-08-02T00:51:07Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 107354 by Obama (Talk)

[[Image:WalMartStoreManager.jpg|thumb|You local, friendly [[Mal-Wart|Wal Mart]] manager or a villainous, [[Kick the Autistic]] playing '''W-M-Manajerk'''? You decide.]]

'''W-M-Manajerk''' is a villain featured in [[Sonichu 3|Sonichu #3]] and [[Sonichu 4|4]]. So great was his power that [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] was forced to summon the aid of his imaginary twin sister [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] to defeat him.

==W-M-Manajerk in real life==

Little is known about the W-M-Manajerk, including his real name. What little information is available comes to us from Chris's records of their initial encounter.

{{Quotebox|"June 22, 2005: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the [[McDonald's]] at [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]], and apparently complaints were made. The two [[Manajerks|manajerkss]], a [[Merried Seinor Comic|Seinor Comic]], and a [[Black]], Fat [[Jerk]] (he looked a lot like the leader of the [[Jerkops]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Mall]], whom I refer to now as the [[Jerkhief]]) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]], like I have been doing for the past [[Love quest|over one-year and ten-months]]. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the [[Attraction Sign|sign]] from my [[Nintendo]] DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the [[B-Manajerk]] was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my [[Pixelblock]] sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “[[Chris and his Ego|I do not speek to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.]]” [[Virgin with rage|Verbal Combat]] had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “[[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has]].” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off." --Christian Weston Chandler}}

Translation: After Chris was kicked out of the Wal-Mart's McDonald's, he returned two days later, apparently feeling that his expulsion only applied to the McDonald's, and not the entire building. The man he identifies as "B-Manajerk", frustrated with Chris's unwelcome return, asked the Wal-Mart manager to deal with him. After a terse argument, Chris fled, flipping the Wal-Mart Manager off, and shouting his weeaboo magic spells at him. The part about his car is probably an embellishment, but it's hard to be sure.

Clearly upset by the events of June 20-22, [[2005]], Chris took revenge in the only way he could by turning these men into fictional supervillains he could defeat in his fantasy life. Apparently worried about legal ramifications, Chris shortened "Wal-Mart Manajerk" to "W-M-Manajerk", and history was made. Pathetic, shitty history. (Ironically, the store in the comics is called "Mal-Wart", completely ruining the meaning behind the "W-M".)

In the [[You know what%2C I HATE ME TOO!!!]] segment Christian put on his ED page in March 2008, he implies he "got [his] ass handed to [him] by a cripple" with an image from the McAttack chapters of Sonichu of W-M-Manajerk beating up Chris-chan. This could imply that the real life W-M-Manajerk might be crippled, perhaps explaining the reason he has a robotic body in the comics.

==McAttack==

The W-M-Manajerk first appeared at the end of Sub-Episode 4, which was featured in ''Sonichu'' #3 and reused in ''Sonichu'' #4. In this embellished version of the real-life encounter, Chris defeats B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with the help of [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. Darkbind leaves, thinking the crisis resolved, but soon Chris is confronted by another enemy, the W-M-Manajerk. Unlike the B-Manajerk, who seems to be a human clad in armor, the W-M-Manajerk appears to be merely a human head in a jar, mounted atop a massive robot body. His appearance seems to be based on Richard Nixon in ''[[Futurama]]''. In that cartoon, Nixon, having somehow been resurrected and kept alive as a head in a jar, runs for President of Earth, using a robot body to circumvent rules against his seeking a third term. Why Chris would steal this idea of all things is a mystery, unless he somehow sensed that a comic about himself being girly-slapping by an ordinary Wal-Mart employee would have been too dull.

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|300px|Something we've all wanted to do at one time or another.]]

The story continues in Sub-Episode 5, where Chris and the W-M-Manajerk do battle. Unlike the "verbal combat" in his real life encounter, the fight here is completely physical, with W-M pretty much beating the crap out of Chris, as you might expect a giant robot would.

Just as Chris begins to lose hope, he receives a vision from the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who informs him that he must combine the powers of his [[Medallion of Fail]] with his [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Dream Sibling of Fail]]. Realizing that his ancestor is referring to one of his home-made Yugi-Oh! cards, Chris follows his advice and manages to create a physical body for his imaginary twin sister.

Undaunted, W-M-Manajerk presses his attack, but when Chris and Crystal transform into their respective [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] fursonas, they quickly overpower him. By combining their ultimate attacks--Chris's Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and Crystal's Shocking Tiara Magic, they destroy the Manajerk's armor, leaving only his disembodied head.

Crystal gives W-M a long, boring talk about how important it is for Chris to get laid, and how W-M is missing out on some "awesomly great emotions, big time". Even Chris gets tired of hearing the bitch ramble on, and he stops her to ask who sent W-M-Manajerk in the first place. W-M reveals that he, along with B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, are agents of the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and its President [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Furious that Walsh has attacked him again, Chris and Crystal kick the headjar all the way back to PVCC, where it strikes Mary on the head.

W-M-Manajerk would briefly return (sans body) in the pages of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], when he and his fellow Manajerks attended the council of villains at PVCC, where [[Mary Lee Walsh]] announced Chris's disappearance into the time void.

==Powers==

Unlike B-Manajerk's armor, W-M-Manajerk's robot body is pretty damn strong, actually. The jar containing his head appears to be quite durable as well, since it survived being kicked from Mal-Wart to PVCC without breaking.

==Weaknesses==

Only the combined power of Chris-Chan Sonichu and Crystalina Rosechu were able to defeat the W-M-Manajerk's body. As these are two of the more powerful characters in the series, that makes W-M-Manajerk a pretty major league guy. It's possible that [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] could take him out pretty easily, but this remains to be seen.

Of course, now that he's just a head, his threat level is severely diminished. Hell, [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] could probably beat him up now.

[[Category:Manajerks]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

User talk:Mellowyellowsalvation

2010-07-13T00:02:10Z

Massive Dynamic: /* This concerns all of us, man */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and donts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions| FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:{{{1|{{<includeonly>subst:REVISIONUSER</includeonly>}}}}}|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!
[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:06, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

==This concerns all of us, man==
I just think you should know that Cogs is enacting a new policy regarding fan works that can be read [[CWCki:Policy|here]]. Also, there's some fairly ugly (and barely literate) backlash going on against the torture stories happening at the discussion page on ''Afternoon'', and some support would be greatly appreciated. If you'd like to stay out of it, though, I completely understand. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:43, 12 July 2010 (CEST)

Your calvary isn't going to save you or your furry torture porn. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 23:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

Self-indulgent fanfiction based on self-indulgent fanfiction is hardly the height of avant-garde literature. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 00:01, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:Mellowyellowsalvation

2010-07-13T00:01:56Z

Massive Dynamic: /* This concerns all of us, man */

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and donts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions| FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:{{{1|{{<includeonly>subst:REVISIONUSER</includeonly>}}}}}|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!
[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:06, 11 June 2010 (UTC)

==This concerns all of us, man==
I just think you should know that Cogs is enacting a new policy regarding fan works that can be read [[CWCki:Policy|here]]. Also, there's some fairly ugly (and barely literate) backlash going on against the torture stories happening at the discussion page on ''Afternoon'', and some support would be greatly appreciated. If you'd like to stay out of it, though, I completely understand. --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:43, 12 July 2010 (CEST)

Your calvary isn't going to save you or your furry torture porn. [[User:DrShoggoth|DrShoggoth]] 23:49, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
Self-indulgent fanfiction based on self-indulgent fanfiction is hardly the height of avant-garde literature. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 00:01, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Sonichu (IRC chat)

2010-07-07T03:21:59Z

Massive Dynamic: /* can someone provide a link */

==To do==
*history of chat (outbranch of #chris-chan and a way for Chris to communicate with us directly)
*drama relating to the chat
*some very notable things Chris has said in there
*in jokes
*how to get banned
==Connection==
Why is it empty? I used the Mibble link you provided.

==Hai Guise==
This seems like the place to ask, how do I IRC?--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 23:09, 20 November 2009 (CET)

== can someone provide a link ==

seriously man--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:41, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

:Just go [[IRC:Contents|here]]. There's information on how to register a name and a list of clients. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 03:21, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Sonichu (IRC chat)

2010-07-07T03:21:45Z

Massive Dynamic: /* can someone provide a link */

==To do==
*history of chat (outbranch of #chris-chan and a way for Chris to communicate with us directly)
*drama relating to the chat
*some very notable things Chris has said in there
*in jokes
*how to get banned
==Connection==
Why is it empty? I used the Mibble link you provided.

==Hai Guise==
This seems like the place to ask, how do I IRC?--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 23:09, 20 November 2009 (CET)

== can someone provide a link ==

seriously man--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 22:41, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

Just go [[IRC:Contents|here]]. There's information on how to register a name and a list of clients. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 03:21, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

Asperchu/Background

2010-07-04T05:46:01Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Other characters */

''This article is about Asperchu, a very well thought out webcomic.<br />For Chris's views and such and all that, see [[Asperchu]].''

<center>{{#ev:youtube|fsKD1-cGzPc}}</center>

{{Quote|I think Asperchu is a pretty nice guy. He faces his fear of rejection, tries his best to be tactful and humble, and he just wants somebody to love. Oh dear god, you made a sympathetic bizzaro [[Chris]].|An anon on [[/cwc/]], summarizing what makes Asperchu so unique.}}

{{quote|I detest "Asperchu", because one, it is a [[Parody]] of a [[Sonichu]] with [[aspergers]], which with the condition, I have no care for. And two, it is just lousy; if aspergers is really like [[autism]], then the creator really knows nothing about Autism.|Chris on Asperchu, [[Mailbag 24]]}}

[[Image:AsperchuFanArt.png|thumb|That's right, '''Asperchu''' is so popular, it's fan art that has received fan art of itself.]]

'''Asperchu''' is a [[parody]] of [[Sonichu]] detailing the zany misadventures of Asperchu, the [[electric hedgehog]] [[pokémon]] with [[Asperger syndrome]]. It can be read [http://asperchu.thecomicseries.com/ here], its homepage is [http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/ here].

The Asperchu comic pokes fun at everything that makes [[Chris]]'s ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' comic series what it is. Unlike the Sonichu comics, where everyone praises Chris for what he's done, the same cannot be said for Asperchu, whose descent into the same giant prick that Chris has become has the entire supporting cast ready to kill him. Another thing that has earned the ire of Chris is its tablet-drawn style - this is, more or less, a delusional thing for Chris, who [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 1|believes that it doesn't have the same "character"]] as his paper and pencil drawn pages. The creator of this delightful series sometimes forgets to upload a page or two in chronological order, but this is due to his Asperger's syndrome affecting his memory.

{{TOC limit|2}}

==Protagonists==
===Asperchu===
[[Image:Asperchu.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The Good, Godly, STRAIGHT Asperchu.]]

Asperchu is a high-functioning electric/aspergers hedgehog pokemon. He has no electric-type attacks; however, his aspergers-type attacks do double damage against autistic-type pokemon. His strongest attack is the Asperhameha, which hits his target with a blast of furious energy and can leave them confused and prone to developing mental blocks of their own.

Asperchu lives in Minnesota with his grandparents, Grandma Snorlax and Grandpa Alzheichu; his father went out to get a case of beer and promised to be right back, although this was some time in late 2003 and he hasn't been seen since. When not working hard on YouTube videos, he prefers to relax by playing video games on his [[Xbox]] 360 or hanging out with his joy-boys at the mall food court. He attends Normandale Community College with his two best joy-boys, Max and Jivin. However, Asperchu's adventures and his recent state of mind has made him forget this detail and he has missed 195 days of school.

He is currently on a Love Quest to obtain a gal-pal who he can build into a sweetheart from the ground up. His standards for a gal-pal are not terribly stringent, although he will not abide gingers or tolerate those who do. He eventually met and fell in love with Dixie Chu, beginning his Dix Quest to win her heart. Having been rejected, though, Asperchu has been spending most of his time absorbed in Video games and won't go anywhere without his Xbox Portable. As well, Asperchu has an incredible dislike for [[slow-in-the-mind]]s.

For a long time, Asperchu's hope for his Love Quest was to be able to finally have his dream daughter Asperia, which later became unnecessary when he traveled back in time and met the [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] of the past. Both of them drank the [[semen|Special Fanta Brew]] that created Sonichu in the past; when Asperchu returned to the present, he found that he too was pregnant and crapped out a deformed monster and named it Asperia. While at first ecstatic to have her, he later grew bored of taking care of her and tried leaving her in the care of his grandma while he continued playing video games.

Currently, Asperchu is being manipulated by a creature known as Rocky, attempting to turn Asperchu into someone who would never take responsibility for his actions, making him think he was a blameless and innocent creature.

It has been revealed that the source of Asperchu's powers is the Chaos Pickle of Diligence, though Asperchu believed that he was GodJesus's next prophet.

*Asperchu is, of course, based on [[Christian Weston Chandler]]; his overweight appearance and clothing precisely emulate Chris's, and Asperchu's goatee is from Chris's [[Rollin' and Trollin']] phase. Asperchu's mannerisms are also directly copied from Chris, especially the ego, narcissism, self-entitlement, and fixation on the [[Love Quest]]. Also, Asperchu's saga parallels Chris's descent into madness, with early issues focusing on Asperchu's fairly-innocent Love Quest, and later issues showing him to be just as big a [[duck|prick]] as Chris has become. It even goes as far as to hypothesize what Chris would do with a child if his wish came true; Reasonably, He would get tired of said child and neglect to take care of it.

===Sonichu (AKA Solid Sonichu)===
[[Image:TheOtherAsperchu.jpg|thumb|100px|Asperchu's bestest joy-boy Sonichu, who eventually got his own spin-off comic due to the popularity of Asperchu.]]

The brother, hetero-life mate, and STRAIGHT joy-boy of Asperchu, with whom he is engaged in an everlasting, STRAIGHT bromance. Or at least he ''was''...

Sonichu shows up from time to time to assist Asperchu in his adventures and in defeating the villainous forces of the Troll Lords. Even if there aren't any villains to fight or adventures to be had, however, Sonichu and Asperchu just can't stand to be apart for long, so occasionally they will meet up for a late night snuggling rendezvous. He is currently running for the office of District Attorney of the state of Virginia, on a vigorous platform of promoting both gay rights and recognition of Aspergers Syndrome as a component of the Autism Spectrum. Or at least he ''did...''

Sonichu was born in 1999 by Ian Brandon Anderson through an unholy mixture of human and Chu semen with Fanta. At first, Ian was overjoyed at having a son of his own, especially one who'd be a loyal and true son, unlike Bionic. However, Ian got bored of trying to raise Sonichu, especially when it got into his video game playing time. Casting him into a raft, Sonichu floated down the river until he was found by Christian Weston Chandler, who raised Sonichu as his own son. When Ian Brandon Anderson took over CWCVille, Sonichu was forced to be married off to Rosechu, only for him and the rest of the Chaotic Combo to revolt. Arriving in ALBVille, he and the rest of the Chaotic Combo fought to free CWCVille from Ian's grips. However, the release of Metal Asperchu would change all that as he would slaughter most of the Combo. When Sonichu went to confront Ian at last, Metal Asperchu made short work of him, loping off his right arm. When Asperchu, Max and Jivin returned from the past, Asperchu revealed off-handedly that Ian was his father. Sonichu went on a quest to find the truth, only to end up with Mitch Chu dead. When Christian told Sonichu the truth, the hedgehog started to snap. He hunted down Ian as he was kidnapping Asperia and blew out his kneecaps, accidentally killing Asperia. Being captured by Bionic again, he provoked Sonichu into killing Ian for good. As a gift, he grafted Ian's arm where Sonichu's once was. When Argentum was released, he teleported Asperchu and Sonichu to the time when the 4-Cent Garbage Building was destroyed, only for the hedgehog to tear apart the place. When Sonichu returns to the present, Sonichu attempts to call Asperchu a monster, but he feels himself unworthy of Chris's love and runs away.

While in self-imposed exile in Molvania, he finds himself possessed by the soul of Ian and, in fear, runs to Bionic for help. When Bionic can't help him, the two rescue Sinestro from his prison.

===Max===
[[Image:Max.jpg|thumb|left|100px|Asperchu's plucky, polyurethane sidekick.]]

One of Asperchu's best friends. He is always a True, Caring friend who only ever looks out for his joy-boys. He is composed of 80% memory foam and is capable of absorbing the properties and attacks of other people by temporarily ingesting them. Some of his transformations include Guido, Nazi Commander, 2Pac, and Yellow Devil.

At the funeral for the Chaotic Combo, it's revealed that Max is also a priest.

He is a completely original character and is not derived from [[Wikipedia:Kirby_(character)|any source]] other than Alec Benson Leary's own imagination.

===Jivin Pickles===
[[Image:Jivin.jpg|thumb|100px|Aww, shit son, Asperchu just got GANGSTA all up in here.]]

The son of a prominent cucumber farmer, Jivin is Asperchu's black best friend who is black. He is keen to assist Asperchu in his Love Quest, although some speculate it is merely an excuse for him to pursue his own personal Fuck Quest, as his attitude toward gal-pals, while enthusiastic, appears less than wholesome at times. Instead of Christmas, Jivin celebrates Kwanzaa. Asperchu has suggested that he possibly does not realize Jivin is black. The Pickles family are the guardians of one of the seven Chaos Pickles.

Jivin is a fan-favorite on Asperpedia that has received his own sub-episode, as well as a few cameos in Isabel Monday's comic [[Capering Berries]].

==Villainous trolls==

===Ian Brandon Anderson (AKA Solid Chris)===
[[Image:IBAasperchu.png|thumb|100px|The evil and deceitful IAN BRANDON SOMETHING.]]

Ian believes himself to be the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler, but is instead a fat, insane man-child. Ian rules CWCville through a totalitarian and Nazi-like regime, although the CWCville Liberation Front constantly fights against his evil oppression. He forced women in middle school and older into prostitution as a form of [[Dating Education|sexual education]]. This recently changed after Ian's lengthy absence, leading to Mayorshack Tito to take over.

If he doesn't get his way, he uses his [[Megatron Pistol|Transformers gun]] to silence anyone who questions his delusions. Ian attempted to murder Christian to prove that he was the real Chris Chan and also attempted to murder the "parodic" Sonichus before being set on fire by Metal Asperchu and loses his Transformers gun, where it passes hands until it is given away by Noir Chu.

In 1999, Ian had created Bionic, but quickly lost interest in him as the hedgehog attempted to win over his love. Fired from his job at [[Wendy's]] by Giovanni, Ian discovered Asperchu and quickly became friends with him. He introduced him to his gal-pals Ivy and Megan before encountering his future self. The two fought and the younger Ian proved victorious. He attempted to have sex with the two before Megan tazered him. Trapped by the foppish Principal Blaziken, Bionic came to his aid, but Ian mistook Asperchu as the hero, breaking his creation in the process. He invites Asperchu to his house where he convinces Asperchu to surrender some of his [[comeuppance]] to create the Special Fanta Brew. Summoning [[Beel|Satan]] to his house after drinking the cup with their comeuppance, he has him use his satanic powers to turn them into a Sonichu inside his stomach. The younger Ian would encounter the older Ian, forcing the two to attack with their Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has, leading to Bionic being rendered how he is now. Disgusted by Bionic's perceived failure, Ian abandons Bionic and, 10 weeks later, gives birth to Sonichu. The birth, however, leaves his [[duck]] bent at a horrible angle. He later abandons Sonichu since taking care of him took away from his time playing video games, so he sent him on a raft hoping that he'd raise himself to become the son he wanted without putting any effort into it.

When the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler disappeared, Ian initiated a coup on CWCville, quickly taking it over. As the Asperchu series shares the same universe as [[Simonchu]] and [[Fan:Moon-Pals]], it is said that he was able to con the people into thinking he was the true Christian Weston Chandler. In short order, Ian ravaged the city, destroyed it's commerce center and driven or killed 70% of its population, placing the remaining citizens under martial law.

Years later, Ian reappeared, seeking to aid in the rescue of Asperchu, only to encounter the TRUE and ORIGINAL Christian Weston Chandler and be sat on fire by Metal Asperchu. Through various conversations, we learned that Ian had raped a number of Rosechu as well as Mitch Chu. When Metal Asperchu attacked, Ian took up a Son-Chu and battled it out, nearly winning until the robot took advantage of damage Simonchu inflicted. When the robot activated a time warp, he was tossed into the past and beaten by his past self. He attempted to fight again, only to encounter Max. He completely ignores Max's impassioned plea to stop fighting and races back to his house, encountering his younger self and set off the chain of events that would shunt him back into the present, where Metal Asperchu awaited. For a time, Ian was Bionic's prisoner, utterly unable to remember who he was. When Sonichu broke into his cell in an attempt to learn the truth of his past, Ian told him a fake story, only to be rejected by Sonichu. He attempted to escape with Sonichu, only to be captured in the process, passing out until the real Chris rescued everyone. Upon learning of Asperia, Ian sought to take her away because he feels that she is actually his daughter [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]. Upon attempting to spirit away Asperia, Sonichu blows out his kneecaps (accidentally killing Asperia) and is captured by Bionic. Bionic then uses the mentally unstable Sonichu to butcher his father. Ian finally meets his end with Sonichu's axe and Bionic's gun. As a reward, [[Metal Gear Solid|Bionic grafts Ian's right arm onto Sonichu's stump in place of the one he lost in Issue 3.]]

However, the soul of Ian lives on within Sonichu and whenever he takes over, he causes Sonichu's eyes to take its heterochromic styling.

*[[Ian Brandon Anderson]] is a version of Chris based on the [[Liquid Chris]] saga. Ian's appearance is a direct parody of Chris. Ian's death mirrors that of the deaths of Evan, Sean, and Mao in [[Sonichu 10]].

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
Ian Brandon Anderson's hedgehog creation. In 1999, it was a jovial and [[homos|gay]] creature who encountered Jivin, Asperchu and Max after their time slip. They learned that he had sought to win Ian's love as the manchild slowly lost interest in other stuff other than [[ego|himself]] and [[china|women]]. When Bionic rescued Ian from Principal Blaziken, Ian mistook Asperchu as his savior and scolded Bionic, which broke him. Rescued by Jivin, but apparently lost his ability to speak (most likely swallowed his tongue), Bionic attempted to return to Ian, only to watch as his older self and younger self prepared to fire a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha on each other. Bionic saved an unwitting Asperchu from getting struck, only to be hit by the blasts. Losing an arm and being badly burned and scarred, Ian abandons him for his Sonichu. He attempts to get a job at McDonald's, but he is rejected by Robotnik. Rejected by his father and other lower forms, Bionic plots burning revenge against Ian.

Years later, Metal Asperchu would find him wheelchair-bound in a [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily-esque]] fortress. Bionic gave Metal Asperchu a Chaos Pickle as a sign of goodwill, then had him go after certain targets and kill them. Robotnik was first, killed for rejecting Bionic from McDonald's. Ian was the second target. When Metal Asperchu used the Chaos Pickles to create the time warp, he watched with joy as another robotic figure emerged. He finally managed to capture his father Ian Brandon Anderson (who forgot that Bionic was his first son and mistook him for another Sonichu parody), as well as his brother Sonichu. When the real Chris arrives to rescue Sonichu, he kills Mitch in cold blood before escaping.

Bionic returns and seemingly reveals his true master plan: by driving Sonichu insane through the revelation of his true parentage, he uses the broken Electric Hedgehog Pokemon to murder Ian Brandon Anderson; in essence, turning his favorite son against him. His plans for the body of the dead Asperia is currently unknown.

He attempted to help Sonichu with his strange transformation, but Sonichu stopped him and Sinestro, feeling this new form is much better. He is later called in to be a judge for Asperchu's trial.

*Bionic's condition is similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Christopher Pike|Christopher Pike]], the first captain of ''Star Trek's USS Enterprise'', with the exception that Bionic could still talk while Pike could only respond with light. His judge outfit resembles that worn by [[Wikipedia:Q (Star Trek)|Q]] in ''Star Trek: The Next Generation'' series premiere, ''Encounter at Farpoint'' and again in the finale, ''All Good Things...''.

*Similarly, Bionic's crippled body, mobile life support system, mechanized speech, distorted eyes, and general air of malevolent mystery could be based on [[Wikipedia:Davros|Davros]], one of the main villains on ''[[Wikipedia:Doctor Who|Doctor Who]].''

*As well, Bionic's base is based off a dream Chris mentioned about people being tortured in a "skull-shaped factory."

===Metal Asperchu===
Metal Asperchu was to be Sinestro's ultimate tool in finding the seven Chaos Pickles, but refused to follow his orders and proceeded to seek the Chaos Pickles on his own. Metal attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion to guide his quest, then brutally murdered three of the five members of the Chaotic Combo.

From there he goes and forms an alliance with the severely crippled Bionic the Hedgehog, doing random tasks like blowing up fast [[McDonald's|food restaurants]] and killing [[Robotnik|Teddy Roosevelt]]. Bionic then orders the robot to bring him Christian Weston Chandler as his final task. He confronts Ian and attempts to kill him, only to be damaged in the process. He uses the four Pickles he gathered to take a new form and banish Ian, Asperchu, Max and Jivin to another time. When the four return, Metal Asperchu has taken up a new form and easily captures Ian. After obtaining the fifth Chaos Pickle, he decides to hold off on number six until he can unlock his full database. Confronting Sinestro, he learns the truth of the fourth directive, then releases Yellow Devil, Cthulu Chu and Bubastis Chu before imprisoning Sinestro in one of the tubes. After killing Cthulu Chu, he figures out the secret of the Fourth Directive and forces Sinestro to watch his work finally unfold. However, after the creation of Argentum and his subsequent turning, Metal Asperchu has gone into a massive blue screen of death. Soon after, WesLi Chu gives Metal Asperchu a disk and he begins scanning seven individuals who are part of the Anchuent Prophecy. He scans Asperchu, WesLi Chu, Sonichu, Chris and two others (presumably Alzheichu and Dino Dash) before the heroes attack him in his attempt to get the last one. He kills Noir Chu and Aspercream and defeats many of the heroes before Alzheichu stabs him with Chris's knife, destroying the beast and releasing the Chaos Pickles.

* Based on [[Metal Sonichu]] who in turn is based on Metal Sonic.

===Other villains===

;Sinestro
As the apparent leader of the trolls, Sinestro has attempted to create numerous clones of Asperchu in order to find the seven Chaos Pickles, including Metal Asperchu and Noir Chu. Lisa and Dino Dash have been at his command from the very beginning, and he has convinced John to join him as well. After activating and losing Metal Asperchu, Sinestro has found himself pushed aside as the main villain before being locked up completely by his own creation. He was recently rescued by Sonichu and Bionic in an attempt to cure Sonichu's odd transformation.

;Lisa
A girl who attends Normandale Community College. Asperchu took a fancy to her, and worked up the courage to ask her on a date for some fine dining and pleasant conversation at the local Burger King and she agreed. However, her plan all along was to steal his Asperchu Medallion and lower his Heart Level. Although Asperchu later defeated her in battle, she still succeeded in both goals. She appears to be in the employ of Sinestro, to whom she delivered the Medallion. She has recently returned in an attempt to find and retrieve a disk that had been used by Metal Asperchu

*Lisa most closely resembles Chris's ex-sweetheart [[Blanca]]. As with Lisa, Blanca pretended to be interested in Chris in order to steal his medallion.

;Radar
GJ-Radar, known as John to people who aren't Asperchu. A Born-Again Baptist from rural Texas, he and his fiance Kendra traveled to Minnesota after becoming aware of Asperchu's Youtube rants, which they deemed sacrilegious and sinful. John confronted Asperchu and demanded he overcome his hypocrisy; Asperchu responded by challenging him to a Youtube Godstar Challenge to prove who the real Christian was. John was declared to be the one true Christian, while Asperchu was declared a fraud. Asperchu subsequently stole John's own crucifix necklace and used it to power his Jesus-hameha attack, which hit and injured Kendra when she intervened. Sinestro approached John, offering to heal Kendra in return for his services.

* Based off the [[Singstar Challenge]] of the [[Liquid Saga]]. John and Kendra most likely represent [[Liquid]] and [[Kacey]].

;Dino Dash
Dino Dash is the guido who kidnapped Jonas Chu in order to impersonate him at the Guitar Hero championship and abduct Dixie Chu as part of Sinestro's plan to obtain the seven Chaos Pickles. He is the strongest and most cunning of Sinestro's pawns.

*Dino Dash is based on [[Clyde Cash]].

;Count Plot Cohesuon
Count Plot Cohesuon is the mysterious force that may be behind Sinestro's search for the Chaos Pickles. He is not fond of ''dei ex machina''. According to Alec's comments on Issue 5E, Plot Cohesuon is Count Graduon's cousin and he's also dead, having used his powers on himself in an accident.

*Count Plot Cohesuon is a parody of [[Count Graduon]] from the original Sonichu comic.

;Silvana Rosechu
The evil, hermaphroditic Rosechu from the Sonichu series. Even more evil and cunning, she appears to work for Ian Brandon Anderson. She murders Bubbles and Magi-Chan, then lures Asperchu towards Ian, where's she's forced to become [[Meg Griffin]] for Ian's pleasure. She also has a noticeable bulge.

;[[Wikipedia:Yellow Devil|Yellow Devil]]
A leftover from Dr. Wily's usage, the Yellow Devil now works for Bionic, capturing Sonichu and Ian as they attempt to escape. It crushes Mitch Chu's legs, smacks Jivin around and fights Max before he is defeated by the real Chris.

==Supporting characters==

===Asperchu's family===

;Grandpa Alzheichu
Asperchu's grandfather, an [[racist|old-fashioned]] Sonichu who spends most of his time sitting in his armchair and watching television. He also likes to make Asperchu do stressful chores around the house. Alzheichu is married to Snorlax. Alzheichu sacrifices himself to stop Metal Asperchu's assault.

*Alzheichu is based on [[Robert Chandler]].

;Grandma Snorlax

Asperchu's grandmother. Spends all of her time sleeping in the backyard. Snorlax is married to Alzheichu. Lost her left foot due to Asperia's hunger.
*Snorlax is the nickname given to [[Barbara Chandler]].

;Asperia Chu

The future daughter of Asperchu, as foretold by [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]] in a dream. Asperia Chu is definitely not a ginger. Asperia finally became a reality as a side effect of Past Chris's plans to become pregnant with Sonichu. When Asperchu craps her out in the present, he fails to realize what a disfigured abomination she really is. Asperchu quickly gets bored of her and, instead of taking care of her, stuffs her in the fridge or leaves her with sleeping Grandma Snorlax.

In one of Asperchu's daydreams of Asperia, she's seen wearing a bikini top and a thong underneath a skirt. This is likely mirroring Chris's [[pedofork]] tendencies. He also describes her as "the pinnacle of his existence", attributing to his own narcissism.

Sadly, Asperia is the latest victim of Ian Brandon Anderson's evils. Having been kidnapped by the madmanchild, she is accidentally killed by a vengeful Sonichu in his attempts to get back at him. However, Bionic recovers her body, and it is heavily implied he has plans for her since he sympathizes with having a neglectful father.

*Asperia Chu is based on [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Chandler]]. As with Crystal, her name is a feminine version of her "father's." As well, Asperia's [[Wikipedia:Xenomorph|Xenomorph look]] may be a jab at the [[Sonee and Rosey]] designs which have horrified many.

===[[Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)|The Chaotic Combo]]===
*'''Wild Sonichu''' is the leader of the Chaotic Combo and Simonchu's gay lover. Despises Asperchu's desire to win back Dixie Chu.

*'''Angelica Rosechu''' uses her wings and her faith in GodJesus to help her fight the forces of evil.

*'''Punchy Sonichu''' is the master of the "anshuent Chinaman martial arts." He has a very noticeable accent due to his ethnicity.

*'''Bubbles Rosechu''' is the entirely useless member who just hangs out with the group. She is extremely [[retarded|slow-in-the-mind]] and is prone to injuring herself in the process.

*'''Magi-Chan Sonichu''' uses his psychic powers to aid the Chaotic Combo. Magi-Chan is able to locate any person by going into a five-and-a-half hour trance. He also likes to go on long walks in the park and [[Mass debate]] to videos of Simonchu and Wild's Honeymoon. He also seems to have a thing for Simonchu as well.

Wild, Angelica and Punchy were all brutally murdered by Metal Asperchu. Bubbles and Magi-Chan are later murdered by Silvana.

===Christian Weston Chandler (AKA Liquid Chris)===
[[Image:RealcwcAsperchu.png|thumb|100px|The TRUE and HONEST CWC (also the true and honest medallion).]]

Sonichu's father and creator. Christian is the hero of CWCville, always willing to risk his life and do what is necessary for the greater good. He helped to reform CWCville after the war with Albville under the reign of his father, [[Bob Chandler|Robert "The Lumberjack" Chandler]] and restored peace before Ian's hostile takeover. After assisting Asperchu's assault on Sinestro's castle, Christian left to pursue Ian Brandon Anderson.

In Issue 4, it's revealed that he raised Sonichu since as far back as he could remember, and trained him how to fight and WHEN to fight. However, during the time travel episode, Asperchu shed's light on the mayors past that puts Sonichu's biological parentage in doubt. The hedgehog now seeks Chris to try to find out the truth of his parentage. Instead, Chris finds them, rescuing them from Bionic, though not before Bionic kills Mitch. It is revealed in Issue 5 that Chris found Sonichu abandoned in a cardboard box and raised the Hedgehog Pokemon to be the creature who he was now.

It's been revealed that Chris is the holder of the Chaos Pickle of Patience.

*Christian Chandler is based on [[Liquid Chris]]. The knife he carries is based on [[Sonichu Special 4]].

===Argentum===

The end result of Metal Asperchu's experiments, it is the Asperchu clone that has its fourth directive unlocked. It has the ability to warp space time and seems to be capable of feeding of the pain of others.

*Argentum's design is a mixture of the Pokemon [[Wikipedia:Mewtwo|Mewtwo]] and Sonic the Hedgehog character [[Wikipedia:Silver the Hedgehog|Silver the Hedgehog]]

===Other characters===
;Heaven Fatterton

Lisa's accomplice and a fat ginger. She pretends to be Lisa during Asperchu's date so that she can steal the Asperchu medallion while Lisa films the date for blackmail. When her wig falls of, Asperchu is to dense to realize she's a phony and instead thinks there's two Lisas when the real Lisa shows up. Heaven has a thinner, bustier sister named Hortense who was killed by [[Bob Chandler]] for getting close to Chris-Chan.

;[[Mitch Sonichu|Mitch Chu]]

Sonichu's cousin. He's a [[Homos|gay]] hairstylist, and his catch-phrase is "Razzle-dazzle". When problems arose during Metal Asperchu's attack, Sonichu called in Mitch to watch over Jivin and his dad, who were attacked by the robot. He ended up giving Jivin a new hairdo. Later he helps reform Asperchu clone Noirchu by having him volunteer at an Albville soup hotel. In issue 3, it is implied that Ian raped Mitch when he was a Sonee. He also has two fathers. In Issue 4, he agrees to join Sonichu on his quest to find his real father. When he attempts to rescue Sonichu from Bionic's clutches, his legs are crushed by the Yellow Devil, pinned to a wall crucifix-style, then shot through the chest before the real Chris can save him.

Mitch also appears as Sonichu's guide through the wonderful world of [[Chris and copyright|copyright infringement]] in ''[[Fan: Sonichu Revolution|Sonichu Revolution]]''.

*Mitch Chu is based on [[Mitch Sonichu]], Chris's take on Asperchu's "EXTREME ELECTRIC MAKEOVER" in [[Sonichu 10]]. He was made into a gay stylist as a logical conclusion to said makeover.

;Simonchu

Although [[Simonchu]] stars in his own comic series, he appears in Asperchu as the bisexual lover of Wild Sonichu. Metal Asperchu attacked Simonchu and stole his medallion. He is rendered grief-stricken when Metal Asperchu killed Wild, allowing him to be taken advantage of by Rosechu. In Issue 4, Simonchu agrees to join Sonichu in trying to find his real father.

;Dixie Chu

The girl of Asperchu's dreams. Dixie been dating Jonas Chu and is disgusted by Asperchu, but that fact hasn't kept Asperchu from pursuing her. Asperchu has dedicated his life to obtaining "Dix" as his sweetheart. She recently returned to testify against Asperchu in his trial

* Dixie Chu is based off a number of Chris's [[gal-pals]], but is probably more centered on [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Kacey]].

;Jonas Chu

Asperchu's rival for the heart of Dixie Chu. Asperchu first met Jonas Chu at the Brass Dragon, where, in preparation for the Guitar Hero championship, they competed for the right to be Dixie Chu's boyfriend. Jonas beat Asperchu, but only by "cheating" by playing on Hard mode, which Asperchu had not yet mastered. Jonas was then kidnapped so that Dino Dash could replace him in the tournament and abduct Dixie.

He escaped over a week later by chewing through his handcuffs. Jonas followed Max and Jivin to Sinestro's castle, where he was reunited with his love.

* May have been based off the events from [[CWC More Than A Feeling]] of the [[Liquid Saga]].

;Denubius King

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He is a [[niggo|black]] kingpin in pimp attire and carries a pimp cane with an afro on it, called the "Staff of Suffrage". He kidnaps Jivin's father and tries to steal the Pickles family farm to get his hands on the Chaos Pickle they're guarding, but is foiled by Jivin.

;Bullet-Time Montgomery.

His only appearance is in the Jivin sub-episode. He works for Denubius king and is a crack-shot with a revolver. Denubius orders him to kill Jivin, but Jivin knocks him out with "Deus ex BLACKina". He later reappears at Asperchu's trial as a jury member

;[[Rosechu]]
Sonichu's sweetheart. She is seen comforting Simonchu at the funeral for Wild, Punchy and Angelica. Jivin is shown to have sexual fantasies of her. After the funeral, she tells Simonchu that she [[pickle|can satisfy his needs]], which pisses off Magi-Chan. Rosechu later confronts Simonchu and seduces him. It's later revealed that Rosechu cheats on Sonichu all the time; she's also banged Punchy, Naitsirhc, and even Dino Dash. She is later used as a gamble chip to win back Sonichu, but it proves ineffective.

*Rosechu's transgenderism parodies the constant call-out to Chris concerning Rosechu's gender, especially after recent events in the [[Mailbag]].

;Whispy Sonichu

Punchy's [[slow-in-the-mind]] cousin. Appears at the Chaotic Combo's funeral, barely affected by his cousin's death. Despite being oriental, Whispy speaks Spanish.

;Larry D. Waltz

Larry D. Waltz is the dean of Normandale Community College. He supplies Sinestro with [[niggos|an African-American]] in exchange for a mysterious disc. When the disk is later stolen by WesLi Chu, he appoints Lisa to get it back. He nearly gets his head taken off by one of Asperchu's Asper-Ha-Me-Has.
*Larry is based on [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has a resemblance to [[Jimmy Hill]].

;Sitting Chu

Sitting Chu is the head of ALBVille's only Soup Hotel. He welcomes those who need refuge with open arms, but he isn't beyond kicking people out, as he did with Asperchu.
*Sitting Chu is based off of the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]].

;Jimarcus Chu

A friend of Mitch Chu's. He was a veteran of the Jamaican war, and currently works at the Albville Soup hotel (they only need one) to help CWCville refugees. He's accepting of Noir Chu and helps him adjust, though he, too, is not thrilled by Asperchu's self-centeredness.
*Jimarcus Chu is loosely based on [[Inos]].

;[[Doctor Robotnik]]

It seems that the once-feared nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] has fallen on hard times, now working as a cashier at a [[McDonald's]]. He promptly kicks Asperchu out of the restaurant when he attempts to ''seriously'' pay a 31-dollar meal with food stamps worth 10 dollars. He is then presumably killed by Metal Asperchu for his crimes against Bionic.

;Megan and Ivy

Two of the younger Ian's [[gal-pals]]. When the younger Ian defeats his future self in pathetic combat, he attempts to have [[hanky panky]] only to be tazed by Megan.

* Megan and Ivy are based off of [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Ivy]].

;Principal Blaziken
The overly homosexual principal of Ian's high school. His actions lead Ian to call for help and is killed by Bionic, only for Ian to mistake Asperchu to be the hero.
* Principal Blaziken is based off [[Sonichu 10]]'s Marvey Blaziken and is reminiscent of the principal from Chris's elementary school.

;[[Sammy]]
A hat-wearing, bespectacled individual resembling Chris. Rambles in [[Random-access humor|odd phrases]]. Metal Asperchu obliterates him and everything around him after getting the fifth Chaos Pickle. He later returns, alive and well, as a cushion for Asperchu's fall.

*While he is obviously modeled after Sammy from Sonichu, he's also taken on some traits from ''Homestar Runner'' character Homsar, who wore a yellow bowler hat and spouted "word salads" and non-sequiturs (which turned out to simply be his native language), such as "All aboard the Gravy Train!"

;Bubastis Chu
Asperchu clone number 18. Originally just another extra for Sinestro's Forte Grosse, Bubastis Chu rose in popularity when she featured in Isabel Monday's [[Capering Berries]] in a spinoff comic. All of her comics are jokes based on the comic/film Watchmen, and she generally annoys her two fathers Sinestro and Larry. Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu are later released by Metal Asperchu in the Asperchu comics.

;[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)]]
Has a brief cameo appearance during Ian's daydreams. According to her Asperpedia article, Ian, believing himself to be Chris, thought Crystal Weston Chandler was his sister. And being the massive [[Chris and ego|narcissist]] that he is, believed that his ideal partner was [[incest|his closest genetic match]]. Failing to seduce his faux-sister, he instead named his dream daughter after her. Believing Asperia was really Crystal, Ian became jealous of Asperchu. Like Asperia, she wears a [[Pedofork|thong]].
*Crystal is obviously based on his imaginary daughter, but in a humorous twist, looks like Chris's comic drawing of his sister. Thus, the circle of incest is complete.

;[[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]]
The new democratically-elected mayor of [[CWCville]] after the dethronement of Ian Brandon Anderson. Tito has been tremendously successful in restoring the city to its former glory, bringing life back to the desolate wasteland. Asperchu, for some reason, thinks he's [[niggo|black]].
*Mayorshack Tito is based on the troll Surfshack Tito.

;Noir Chu and Aspercream

Noir Chu was Sinestro's newest attempt to clone Asperchu by adding a black man named DeShaunn into the mix. However, DeShaunn's girlfriend jumped into the mixture with him and was turned into the rabbit Aspercream. Noir Chu would confront Asperchu and, confused by his memories, would be lead to the Albville Soup Hotel, where he would find his calling there. After being banished by Sinestro for losing Noir Chu, Aspercream ran off to Albville where she was reunited with Noir. When Sonichu ran off to find Ian, Noir Chu takes Asperchu to find and stop them, with Aspercream pleading not to get hurt, SOMEHOW knowing that it was Asperchu who got Magi-Chan killed. Both Noir Chu and Aspercream are wounded in Metal Asperchu's rampage, but survive.

* Noir Chu is based on [[Blake]]. Aspercream's look resembles [[Wikipedia:Cream the Rabbit|Cream the Rabbit]].

;Princess [[Julie]]

One of the members of the [[Molvania]]n Royal Family. She and the others have strong ties with the Rebels of CWCVille.

* Princess Julie is based off of the infamous troll of the same name. Her design, however, is based off of [[Wikipedia: Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]] of ''King of the Hill''

;[[Crackder]]

One of Ian's attempts at making sentient war machines. However, it is slow-in-the-mind, rambles off random-access humor and is against war. Asperchu hates him because he's a slow-in-the-mind.

*Crackder is based off of the Decepticon Chris created of the same name.

;[[Yawning Squirtle]]

We don't know how the hell he got off the [[Moon]], but he's off of it and still smoking it up. It was revealed that he was Mayorshack Tito's opponent in the CWCVille elections. His hated rival is Lewis Croagunk

;[[Mimms]] and Lucas

Two patrons of the Brass Dragon. Mimms sports a wicked green 'fro.

*Both Mimms and Lucas are based off of the CWC informants who frequented the GAMe PLACe. Lucas's design resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Lucas (Mother)|the character of the same name from the Mother series]].

;[[Rocky]]

A mysterious squirrel with green antenna. He calls Asperchu "dum-dum" and tries to steer him in the opposite direction to make him blameless. In actuality, Rocky is MIPS 09, attempting to steer Asperchu into fulfilling the Anchuent Prophecy.

*While Rocky's design and speech resembles that of [[Wikipedia:Rocky the Flying Squirrel|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' cartoons and [[Wikipedia:The Great Gazoo|The Great Gazoo]] of ''The Flintstones'', the creature is also a parody of Rocky Shoemaker, Chris's pastoral councilor.

;[[Jimmy Hill]]

Ruler of Molvania and Princess Julie's father. Enjoys playing Pokemon TCG games. When he finds out of Julie's capture, he opts to move out to save her.

*Jimmy Hill resembles the old man used in the earlier Chris trolling schemes, but his mannerisms match more of Hank Hill of ''King of the Hill''.

;Lewis Croagunk

The prosecutor for Asperchu's trial. It is revealed that he is old rivals with Yawning Squritle and he seems to be a very competent lawyer. Oddly, for a Croagunk, he has a human's head.

*Lewis Croagunk may be a parody of Chris's various court-based characters from Sonichu 10.

===4-Cent Garbage building residents===

;[[Naitsirhc]]

Naitsirhc has a brief cameo in the 4-Cent tower that Argentum recreates. He is seen alongside [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. He attempts to get Sonichu to calm down, but ends up getting his neck snapped by the hedgehog.

*Unbelievably, Naitsirhc in Asperchu looks ''[[Homos|even gayer]]'', as he sports earrings and crotchless chaps.

;[[Mary Lee Walsh]]

Another one of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When Sonichu tears apart the building, she and Count Graduon go and unleash Joshua Martinez.

*Mary's design in Asperchu borrows largely from Final Fantasy Eight villain Ultimicea.

;[[Jason Kendrick Howell]]
Owner of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance is identical to that in Sonichu. When he confronts Sonichu, he is killed in the same manner Rosechu attacked him.

;[[Clyde Cash]]
Clyde makes a very brief cameo in Ian's dream in Issue 4, where he's demonstrating his dominance over said troll. It is likely this scene was inspired by [[:Image:325504_-_Chris-chan_clyde_cash.jpg|this piece of fanart.]] According to Asperdia's article on Clyde, he, [[Brian Bash]] and Dino Dash were all part of an elite government task force at one point in the past. Clyde Cash makes another appearance, this time in the 4-Cent Garbage tower. When Plautistic captures Sonichu, Clyde and Jack go to finish Sonichu. Clyde is shown wearing Spider-Man's pants and boots and is able to shoot webbing from his hands.

*Clyde's design is based off of the picture Chris found of Clyde. Him having Spider-Man powers is based off of [[No More Jokes|the set of videos trying to troll Clyde]].

;[[Jack Thaddeus]]
Seen in the 4-Cent Garbage Tower alongside Clyde Cash. His appearance is similar to that in Sonichu. He uses the Goblin Glider and Pumpkin Bombs of [[Wikipedia:Norman Osborn|the Green Goblin]].

;[[Count Graduon]]
One of the inhabitants of the 4-Cent Garbage Tower. His appearance resembles a [[duck|penis]]. When Sonichu tears apart the building, he and Mary Lee Walsh free Joshua Martinez. When the creature is destroyed, Joshua tosses him aside

;[[Jerkhief|Chief Boyd]]
One of the heads of the COProtectors. Is brutally murdered by Sonichu.

;[[Bagget]]
Head of security at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. A no-nonsense type of guy, Bagget tries to get Asperchu to reveal where Sonichu is before the hedgehog confronts the two of them. Sadly, Bagget falls to Sonichu.

;[[Wall of Originals|Plautistic]]
A mysterious creature held by those within the 4-Cent Garbage Building bonded with Joshua Martinez When Sonichu goes on a rampage, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon release it. The creature resembles the mythical creature Hydra. Its leaves can be smoked as a type of [[Tobacky|drug]].

;[[Joshua Martinez]]
A Mexican who was once bonded with Plautistic. In the heat of battle, Sonichu tears him from Plautistic, then tears his head off.

;[[Wes-Li Sonichu]]
A hedgehog working within the 4-Cent Garbage Building. ACTUALLY knows magic, including his own [[Anchuent]] power, Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha. He's such a manly man, he can even make full-on [[Megagi|bull dykes]] crave his [[duck]]. After escaping the destruction of the 4cent tower, the MIPS made him give a CD to Metal Asperchu. Shortly after, his memory was wiped. It has been revealed that he holds the Chaos Pickle of Chasity

;[[Giovanni]]
The feared leader of [[Team Rocket]] and gym leader of Viridian City has another job: manager at Wendy's. He was seen in 1999, firing Ian Brandon Anderson after he fell asleep on the job, then promised that he'd never work in the city again. Years later, he takes up residence at the 4-Cent Garbage Building. When his son is killed by Sonichu's hand, he confronts Sonichu, using a small army of Pokemon to stop him. Sonichu uses said pokemon to kill Giovanni, mostly by impaling him with them.

;[[CADD Chef]]

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

;[[Michael Snyder]]
A Jewish magician working for the MIPS. He also runs [[The GAMe PLACe|The Brass Dragon]] and is frustrated by Sonichu's attempts to trade a rare Black Lotus card with a Pokemon Ruby cartridge. He was responsible for helping Jack and Clyde escape.

;MIPS

Self-aware supercomputers that help run 4-Cent. Michael Snyder reports directly to them and contacts them by pickle-phone. He asks them to help evacuate the building, but they claim they're using up all their resources to [[100 2178|control the realtors.]] MIPS is speculated to stand for "[[The Man in the Pickle Suit|Men In Pickle Suits]]". They are capable of meeting anywhere, including in space. They are keenly interested in fulfilling the [[Anchuent Prophecy]].

*MIPS are a personification of Chris's paranoid belief in a conspiracy by [[Greene County]] to keep his family in Ruckersville so he can stay sad and miserable.

;[[ScotPalazzo]]

Killed in the destruction of 4cent.

;[[Megagi]] Chu
A purple Lesbian skunk who broke Sonichu's heart in the past and has orgies with Saramah Chu, Jiggliami and even Wes-Li. Is killed with Saramah Chu's torn off arms, taunting him to then end.

;[[Sarah Hammer|Saramah Chu]]
A yellow Rosechu who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. Her arms are ripped off, the trauma killing her. However, after the destruction of Metal Asperchu, her Chaos Pickle, Temperance, returned to her and revived and restored her.

;[[Jiggliami]]
A pink Jigglypuff humanoid who broke Sonichu's heart in the past. She is killed when Sonichu punches through her head.

===Avatars of the Chaos Pickles===

The Chaos Pickles are seven magical items of great power. According to Chris, the pickles are within seven special people and, should they be removed, they enable its user to be revived and restored once they are freed again. Currently, the known holders are:

*Christian Weston Chandler
*Ian Brandon Anderson
*Asperchu
*Saramah Chu
*WesLi Chu

Jivin and his father were seen protecting one in the early pages, but it is unknown if they truly were its avatars. As well, Sammy was seen with one himself, is killed my Metal Asperchu and is seen alive issues later, but it is unknown if he's an avatar.

==Locations==

===Alzheichu's Home===
This is where Asperchu lives. A junky, decrepit home, Alzheichu makes Asperchu do menial, yet, back breaking chores. Asperchu's room is a particular mess, covered with various toys and anime posters. It also has an [[Hex Bawx|XBox 360]], which Asperchu constantly plays, especially after his encounter with Dixie Chu. The house's frame is under constant [[stress]], since Grandma Snorlax is always up against it.
* This is a parody of [[Tour of Chris's house|Chris's house]].

===Brass Dragon===
A gaming store which Asperchu frequents. This is where Asperchu encounters Dixie Chu and Jonas Chu and attempts to win Dixie's heart. Michael Snyder runs the shop. Asperchu is now officially banned from the store for trying to steal a rare card.
* This is a parody of [[The Game Place]].

===Jivin's Home===
Where Jivin lives. Was where one of the seven Chaos Pickles was located before Metal Asperchu broke in and stole it. Oddly, it has a collection of skeletons.

===[[CWCville]]===
Before and after Ian Brandon Anderson's reign as mayor, CWCville was a peaceful, beautiful city with flowering fields and a happy populace. Under Ian, however, it turned into a dictatorship that wiped out 70% of the population, all of whom were found distasteful by the mayor. Women are forced into [[dating education|brothels]] as early as Junior High School, and all remaining occupations are in the mayor's mall. The environment was destroyed by his dark energy and the pollution of state Orange Soda factories. An army of Sonichu Nazis carry out the mayor's will and are as intolerant and depraved as he is. Fortunately, thanks to the reconstruction effort, most of the damage has been reversed. Democracy has also been returned thanks to [[Liquid|Chris's]] efforts, and [[Surfshack Tito|Mayorshack Tito]] won the first CWCville election in years.

===Albville===
Neighboring town to CWCville and Asperchu's hometown. Unlike CWCville, it is under a democratic system and accepts people of all races, orientations and creeds. In fact, they receive many CWCville refugees, who are well taken care of in the Albville soup hotel (they only need one). It allied with [[Evan|ECGville]] during a brief war with old [[CWCville|RFCville]] and has since maintained good relations with the town. Founded by Alec Benson Leary, he has since disappeared due to [[Sonichu 10|mysterious circumstances]].

===Bionic's Fortress===
[[Bionic]]'s base of operations, which was abandoned when [[Liquid|Chris]] came to Sonichu's rescue. Its appearance is based on [[Wikipedia:Dr. Wily|Dr. Wily's]] fortress, as well as Chris's dream of a SKULL SHAPED castle where people were destroyed.

===[[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent Garbage Tower]]===
The remnants of the 4-cent garbage Tower, which was destroyed by Ian, are still being cleaned up by CWCville's citizens. Originally the economic center of the city, it also contained many of Ian's [[trolls|"Undesirables"]] and he [[Twin Falling Towers|flew his mouse-pointer plane into the building]] to destroy it. Many lives were lost, and to this day is considered "Ian's most terrible legacy". Argentum brings Sonichu and Asperchu to the restored 4-Cent tower, where Sonichu climbs the building to confront his father. It is revealed that Ian's airplane did jack shit and it was Sonichu's Roaring Rampage of Revenge that caused the destruction in the first place. Ian was probably blamed for it because he was the only one still alive to take the blame. It is also revealed that it was destroyed during the Chaotic Funeral.
*The 4-cent garbage tower is a combination of [[Sonichu 10|Rage against the garbage 2]] and one of Chris's videos mocking [[Clyde]] by comparing him to [[Twin Falling Towers|the destruction of the World Trade Center]].

===[[Molvania]]===

An oddball land with strange climates. Home to the MIPS and the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage Building survivors.

*Molvania was also the home of [[Julie]] and [[Max]].

==Plot synopsis==

===Issue 0===

Asperchu is convinced by his friends Max and Jivin to ask Lisa on a date to the Burger King. Lisa, however, sends red-headed hambeast Heaven in her place. Asperchu doesn't notice the difference until she attempts to grab his Medallion and her wig falls off. Lisa, who had been videotaping the scene for a YouTube video, races in and snatches the Medallion and runs away. With the help of [[Sonichu]], Asperchu tracks her down and defeats her with an Asperhameha attack; however, he is unable to retrieve his stolen Medallion. Lisa uploads the video of Asperchu's date onto YouTube, prompting Asperchu to retaliate with his own video.

The plot continues in '''Issue 0A''' when John sees Asperchu's video on YouTube. He is appalled at Asperchu's un-Christian attitude and travels with his fiance Kendra to Minnesota to confront him in person. When they meet face-to-face, Asperchu is shocked to see that John has his own medallion (a crucifix) and runs off to create a replacement. He posts a YouTube video claiming his original Medallion was never lost; Lisa sees the video and joins John in his attempt to defeat Asperchu, who calls for a contest to see who the True and Honest Christian is. In the end, John is declared the winner, causing Asperchu to confront him. He steals John's crucifix and uses it to power a Jesushameha attack against him; Kendra, however, saves John and takes the full force of the blast herself, collapsing into a coma. This infuriates John, who punches Asperchu in the face, causing him to cry. John picks up Kendra and leaves, but he soon encounters Sinestro in the forest, who promises to heal Kendra if he works for him.

'''Issue 0B''' begins with Asperchu practicing for the upcoming Guitar Hero contest. While at the Brass Dragon game store, he meets Dixie Chu and instantly falls in love with her. However, Dixie is already dating Jonas Chu, so Asperchu challenges Jonas to a game of Guitar Hero to see who deserves to be Dixie's sweetheart. Jonas easily beats Asperchu and leaves with Dixie, unknowingly being followed by a mysterious figure that kidnaps Jonas when the two separate. Meanwhile, Asperchu, convinced that Jonas cheated, uses Crayola markers to disguise himself as Jonas and creates a video admitting he cheated. Dixie sees the video and learns that Jonas was kidnapped. She goes to the Guitar Hero contest to confront him, only to find yet another person disguised as Jonas. This second impostor abducts her and flies away with Dixie in his arms. She manages to break free and is caught by Sonichu as she falls to the ground. Asperchu catches up and learns that Dino Dash was behind the ordeal. Dino easily defeats the two joy-boys and takes Dixie to Sinestro's castle.

Asperchu begins '''Issue C''' training to fight Dino and doing chores for his grandfather, when he is attacked by Sinestro in an aircraft. Sinestro is able to destroy Asperchu's new Medallion, and takes Asperchu back to his castle. Meanwhile, Max and Jivin are approached by a fat man claiming to be none other than Christian Weston Chandler himself, who promises to help save Asperchu. Jonas, who finally was able to free himself, follows the trio to Sinestro's castle, where Asperchu is being assaulted by Sinestro's trolls, bringing his Heart Level to 0%. He is saved by another, more badass Christian. As the two explore the castle, they find a room containing many failed Asperchu clones. It is here that Max, Jivin, Sonichu, and the other Chris finally find them, and the fat Chris is revealed to be Ian Brandon Anderson. Sinestro stops time and explains his goal of finding the seven Chaos Pickles using an Asperchu clone. He uses Asperchu's Medallion to activate Metal Asperchu. Time resumes and Ian, confused by the presence of three Asperchu's attempts to shoot the "unholy parodies," prompting Metal Asperchu to set him on fire. Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu to kill the others, but Metal refuses and leaves to find the Chaos Pickles on his own. Jonas reunites with Dixie and Christian bids the friends farewell as he continues his quest to stop the evil Ian.

===Issue 1===

Metal Asperchu attacks Simonchu in the forest and steals his medallion to help him find the Chaos Pickles. Asperchu meets Sonichu at the mall and is introduced to Angelica, Punchy and Bubbles of the Chaotic Combo. They join gay lovers Wild and Simonchu at their headquarters, and the Chaotic Combo decides to find and destroy Metal Asperchu. They plan to use Magi-Chan's powers to locate Metal Asperchu, but Asperchu interrupts and makes Magi-Chan search for Dixie Chu instead. They soon hear from Max that Metal had attacked Jivin's farm and stolen the Chaos Pickle his family had sworn to protect. Wild, Punchy and Angelica pursue Metal Asperchu and catch up to him, engaging in combat. Magi-Chan senses the three are in danger. He and Simonchu go to help them, but arrive to find them savagely torn apart at the hands of Metal Asperchu.

Meanwhile, Sinestro decides to make one more Asperchu clone, using a black student from Normandale Community College as the secret ingredient this time. As the student falls into the vat, his girlfriend jumps in to try and save him, but it's too late; he becomes Noir Chu, while she becomes a rabbit called Aspercream. Confused by memories of Asperchu, Noir Chu leaves to find Asperchu's fat ass and find some answers. And as all of this is happening, Jivin gets a make over by the fabulous Mitch Chu.

===Issue 2===

The issue starts with Max and Jivin trying to reach Asperchu for the funeral of the Chaotic Combo. After failing to get Asperchu, due to him deleting his messages, they contact Alzheichu and get him to get Asperchu. After complaining about missing another party, he agrees and joins the two. At the funeral, they're joined by the remains of the Chaotic Combo and another, Rosechu. Meanwhile, Metal Asperchu arrives in a Dr. Wily-like fortress in search of another Chaos Pickle. Inside, he confronts the paralyzed Bionic, who gleefully allows him to take the Chaos Pickle in his possession, then ominously mentions that the two of them could aid each other. Back at the funeral, Max eulogizes about the fallen Chaotic Combo while Asperchu sleeps through it.

After the funeral, Rosechu comforts and starts hitting on Simonchu, much to Magi-Chan's chagrin, and Asperchu grows bored and leaves, only to be confronted by Noir Chu. Meanwhile, Metal Asperchu kills Flame the Sunbird and takes his Chaos Pickle and returns to Bionic. Bionic refuses to reveal the location of the next Chaos Pickle without Metal Asperchu doing something for him. Meanwhile, Noir Chu holds Asperchu at gunpoint. After introducing himself as Asperchu's brother, Noir Chu gets annoyed at Asperchu's insistence that he was more muscular than Noir Chu. Even worse, when Noir Chu talks of his origins, Asperchu ignores him. Mitch Chu, however, arrives and helps Noir Chu, taking him to a Soup Hotel. It's caretaker, Sitting Chu, accepts Noir Chu, but Noir Chu is forced to relinquish his gun, though he realizes that he's more of a help in the Soup Hotel.

At a grocery store, a despondent Simonchu shops, only to be confronted by Rosechu and the two have sex. Whispy, who caught the two, warns Magi-Chan, who races out, leaving Bubbles by herself, not realizing it was actually Silvana in disguise, the real Bubbles being dead. Worse, he comes home to find out that his porn had been stolen as well as a dating simulator. Simonchu reappears and, realizing that Magi-Chan had the feelings for him, decides to have a threesome, ignoring Bubbles's dead body.

Back at the Soup Hotel, Asperchu is caught eating the food there and is kicked out. He arrives at a McDonald's, where he orders a humongous meal. When he tries to pay for it with food stamps worth 10 dollars, the cashier, Dr. Robotnik, kicks him out. Asperchu, angry, posts a video, delivering a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha onto McDonald's and the Soup Hotel. When Asperchu discovers that the McDonald's was destroyed, he believes that it was he who brought it to be, not knowing that it was Metal Asperchu who destroyed it. When he tells Max and Jivin, the two can only sigh and ignore Asperchu.

Back in Bionic's base, Metal Asperchu returns, with Blake revealing the fourth Chaos Pickle. He now decides that he wants Christian Weston Chandler.

===Issue 3===

As the issue starts, Sinestro attempts to find where Noir Chu disappeared to. When Aspercream has no clue, Sinestro banishes him. Back at Sonichu's house, remaining heroes (himself, Mitch Chu, Jivin, Max, Simonchu, Magi-Chan and Asperchu) prepare to charge into CWCville. Much to everyone's dismay, they HAVE to take Asperchu with them. Asperchu doesn't want to go, but is convinced otherwise, with Silvana watching.

The next day, the heroes arrive in CWCville, with Metal Asperchu already making his move. With Max copying a CWCville soldier and leading a group of them onward, Magi-Chan uses his Satanic powers to kill the soldiers. Magi-Chan is saddened to see CWCville's state, but is driven... to kill Asperchu when he tells him to get a girlfriend. In his palace, Ian Brandon Anderson, now donning his true clothes, is waiting for our heroes. As Metal Asperchu watches, the remaining five are split into two teams, with Magi-Chan protesting about being with Asperchu. Learning that Simonchu is in the palace, Metal Asperchu changes his plans and races on ahead. As Sonichu reminisces about CWCville before Ian took over, Magi-Chan berates Asperchu, who ignores his anger-filled rant. True to his earlier word, Magi-Chan is impaled by Silvana, who takes Asperchu away, mesmerized by her boobs. As Simonchu, Sonichu and Mitch Chu enter, Asperchu is taken to Ian, who has Silvana transform into Megan Griffin. [[Wikipedia:Liquid Snake|Ian]] forces [[Wikipedia:Solid Snake|Asperchu]] to admit he's Mitch and that he's stealing his [[Wikipedia:Dominance (genetics)|fame and fortune]], but he refuses forcing him to be tortured.

As Sonichu, Mitch and Simonchu arrive, memories of the past resurface in Mitch about an encounter with Ian. Before he can remember it all, Metal Asperchu arrives, intent on killing Ian. When Sonichu blocks his way, Metal Asperchu [[Wikipedia:Revolver Ocelot|cuts off half his arm]] and gives chase. Simonchu frees Asperchu, who immediately regrets it when he says that he chased off Asperchu and wants to go home. Mitch takes Sonichu to get aid while Asperchu and Simonchu go after Ian. Ian leads Metal Asperchu to his hangar, where he does battle using [[Wikipedia:Metal Gear (weapon)|Son-Chu]]. Metal Asperchu's weaponry is too weak against Son-Chu, but Simonchu is able to damage it with his drills, severing its fuel line. Asperchu attempts an Asper-ha-me-ha, but is stopped by Son-Chu, with Metal Asperchu damaged. The robot, however, uses an incendiary round to ignite Son-Chu, causing him to fall out the building. As Jivin and Max reunite, Asperchu attempts to get Metal Asperchu to get him home. Instead, Metal Asperchu uses the four Chaos Pickles to open up a time warp that launches Simonchu out of the building and sucks Max, Jivin, Asperchu and Ian inside. As Sinestro, his companion, Mitch, Sonichu, Simonchu, and Bionic (gleefully) watch, Metal Asperchu takes up a new form.

===Issue 3D===

The issue finds our stalwart heroes arriving in 1999 after falling through Metal Asperchu's Chaos Pickle timewarp. Jivin and Max do the sensible thing and attempt to blend in with the complex 90s culture by going to where all cool 90s kids shop: Hot Topic.

Asperchu, on the other hand, decides to feed his fat ass and goes to pillage a Wendy's where he meets a young Ian being fired by Giovanni (apparently having left Team Rocket for the more glamorous life of fast-food management). The instantly get along, Asperchu being oblivious to the similarities between his new friend and the raving lunatic who just tried to kill him. They head to Manchester High School for a rousing Soul Caliber tournament with Young Ian's "gal-pals" [[Megan Schroeder|Megan]] and [[Ivy]]. However, the current Ian is already there, and judging by Megan and Ivy's comments, has already began [[Hanky panky|creeping them out]]. Naturally, Ian mistakes his younger self for another impersonator, and gets into an [[Fail|epic fight]]. The current Ian, being fueled by McDonald's and [[Semen|soda]], is easily defeated by his younger counterpart. Given heart by his first victory, Young Ian shoos out Asperchu so he can come on to Ivy and Megan for some [[Chris and sex|well-earned "sex time"]]. As a result, he gets tazed by Megan (something which should have happened in real life). Apparently, this is how Ian gets sent down the road to becoming a crazy egomaniac.

Meanwhile, Max and Jivin reunite with Asperchu and run into a Bionic that has not yet been Stephen Hawkingitized. He is just as big a [[Homo|joy-boy]] as Sonichu, but is clearly disturbed by the fact that Young Ian doesn't return his love. His mental instability is further reinforced as he takes an iron to his arm and cuts "Chris" into his leg before sensing that Young Ian is in trouble. Meanwhile, Young Ian gets sent to Principal Blaziken's office, being [[Rape|counseled]] on his sexual deviance towards his gal-pals. Bionic then bursts through the doors and stabs Principal Blaziken through the throat. Young Ian, being a tremendous coward in the face of real danger, comes out from behind a desk to be greeted by Asperchu. Young Ian then wrongly assumes that Asperchu was the one that saved him instead of Bionic, and invites him over to his house to personally taste some of his new [[Semen|Fanta Brew]]. Bionic then becomes distraught and runs off, Jivin and Max in pursuit out of concern that Bionic will go batshit. Before Max can, though, Ian shows up, forcing Jivin to go after Bionic alone. Ian starts to fight, but Max tries to get him to stop with a speech of peace. However it all goes over Ian's head.

In "Chris"'s house, he prepares the Fanta Brew, but needs Asperchu's [[comeuppance]] to make it work, which the hedgehog obliges. At a bridge, Bionic prepares to jump and hang himself, only to be rescued by Jivin. Accidentally, however, Bionic swallows his tongue, becoming unable to talk. At "Chris"'s house, Asperchu drinks the brew as well, but it makes him sick, allow Ian the chance to summon [[Beel|Satan]] for the last part- to bring together the two DNAs and create Sonichu. Meanwhile, Ian gets tired of Max's talk and runs as Bionic quickly races back to the young Ian's house, forcing Max Jivin to follow. Bionic encounters the older Ian who dismisses him quickly, shattering his already fragile mind more.

When the two Ians meet again, they decide to end everything right there, performing a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha on each other. The two blasts meet and cause a strange phenomenon. When Asperchu goes to see what's going on, Bionic pushes Asperchu out of the way, taking the hit and setting the future in stone as the four time travelers are returned to the present. Young Ian takes credit for the victory, then disowns Bionic for Sonichu. Broken, Bionic attempts to get a job at McDonald's, only to be turned away by Robotnik. Furious, Bionic plots revenge. Ten weeks later, Ian gives birth to Sonichu, but the process ends up bending his [[duck]].

In the present, the four return to where they were, only to find the new and improved Metal Asperchu waiting for them...

===Issue 4===

As the issue begins, Asperchu wakes up to find himself back in his room. Confused, he asks Alzheichu as to how he got back home. Alzheichu doesn't give a damn and tells him to go feed Snorlax. Meanwhile in Bionic's base, Ian dreams of getting revenge on Clyde Cash and having sex with a bunch of Rosechu before Bionic wakes him up. When Ian has no clue as to who Bionic is, the hedgehog explodes at him until Metal Asperchu arrives. Bionic attempts to blow him aside to deal with Ian, but the robot forces him to reveal the location of the next Chaos Pickle.

Elsewhere, Asperchu is busy playing ''Guitar Hero DS'' when Max arrives, suggesting that they should go see Sonichu. When he asks if he even wants to know about Metal Asperchu and the Mayor, Asperchu blows him off. Nonetheless, Max is able to drag Asperchu to Sonichu's hospital room, where Jivin's already there. When Asperchu makes a comment about how the younger Ian drank the semen concoction to create Sonichu, Sonichu becomes horrified- all of his earlier memories were with Christian Weston Chandler. He resolves to find Chris and learn the truth. As he does, Asperchu grows oddly sick. Elsewhere, Metal Asperchu lands in the location of the fifth Chaos Pickle, encountering Sammy. The manchild's constant random-access humor causes Metal Asperchu to kill him and level the area he's around. In the hospital's bathroom, Asperchu takes a dump (which was odd for him because of the regular timing was off), but as he leaves, he discovers something odd. Outside, Jivin and Max talk about Sonichu's resolve when Asperchu arrives revealing what he shat out- a horrible, deformed Chu/human hybrid he named Asperia. Max and Jivin are undeniably horrified at it.

Back in Bionic's base, Bionic tosses Ian back in his cell. When Bionic leaves, Ian pulls out his pocket knife and attempts an escape. When Metal Asperchu arrives with the fifth Chaos Pickle, he absorbs its power, allowing Bionic to comment that his plan is coming to fruition. In Asperchu's home, Alzheichu discovers Asperia in the fridge and asks Asperchu why she's in there. Tired of the arguments, Asperchu calls Max in to help, who tells him she's hungry. In Bionic's base, Metal Asperchu realizes he cannot access his fourth directive and opts to forgo the sixth Pickle for now in order to seek out his answers. He barges into Sinestro's castle and forces Larry to run, confronting Sinestro alone. Sinestro begins telling him of his origins before the robot cuts him off, only wanting access into the directive. Back in Asperchu's home, Asperchu leaves Asperia with Snorlax.

In Bionic's base, Simonchu, Sonichu and Mitch Chu break into Ian's cell. When Ian comes to thank Mitch, Sonichu demands to know how he was born. When Ian gives him a wild and stupid story, Sonichu cuts him off and the trio leave, dejected. In Sinestro's castle, Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu that the fourth directive is a doomsday contingency that could spell doom for all. Metal Asperchu, takes it into consideration and decides to take another one of the Asperchu clones. At Bionic's base, the Chus make their escape with Ian following (much to Sonichu's horror). A Yellow Devil appears and captures Sonichu and Ian and brings them to Bionic. Captured, Sonichu attempts to tell Bionic he has as much reason to hate Ian as he does, but Bionic refuses to listen, forcing him to look at the scar burns on his face. Back in Asperchu's home, Simonchu races to get Asperchu, Jivin and Max, only for Max and Jivin to leave Asperchu behind. As they do, Grandpa Alzheichu discovers Asperia eating Grandma Snorlax's foot.

In Bionic's base, Mitch attempts to rescue Sonichu, only for the Yellow Devil to crush his legs. Pinning Mitch to the wall crucifix style, Bionic attempts to show Ian how fruitless it is, only to snap when Ian keeps calling him a troll. Max, Simonchu and Jivin enter the base and rescue Sonichu, only to be stopped by the Yellow Devil. Jivin attempts to fight him off with Soul Fu, only to be blasted back. Max absorbs the Yellow Devil's shots to become Yellow Devil Max and continue the fight... only for a certain knife to stab into the beast's eye. Chris heroically arrives to rescue the group and demands Bionic release Mitch from the wall. Instead, he fatally shoots Mitch and flies away.

Chris promises to answer Sonichu's questions about his parentage, but not before taking Mitch home to be buried. Ian later meets Asperchu at Wendy's and asks him (thinking he's Sonichu) how he was able to recover from Bionic's torture so quickly. The issue ends back in Forte Grosse; Metal Asperchu imprisons Sinestro in one of his growing vials and releases the last two Asperchu clones, Bubastis Chu and Cthulhu Chu.

===Issue 5===

The issue starts back in Asperchu's home, showing Alzheichu and Asperia bonding over cans of ''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Natural Ice]]'' beer while watching ''Will and Grace''. Meanwhile, Ian catches up with Asperchu and realizes that it was he who he used to create Sonichu. Asperchu is a little confused when he thinks that their meeting was only two weeks ago. However, Ian is even more confused as to Asperchu's claims that he had a daughter named Asperia, but he finds himself overcome with rage, thinking that he actually had ''his'' daughter, Crystal. Ian sneaks away as Asperchu gets a call from Jivin, arriving in CWCVille, which has been recovering since Ian's deposing. There, Asperchu is introduced to the new Mayor, Mayorshack Tito. Asperchu also runs into Sonichu, who's less than pleased to see Asperchu. Chris tells Sonichu to be nice to Asperchu, then shows Asperchu Ian's most terrible legacy- the destroyed remains of the 4-cent_garbage Center, once the center of CWCVille's commerce, only to lose it all when Ian flew his mouse pointer plane into it, destroying it and calling its inhabitants weak. After that, Chris reveals Sonichu's true parentage: that Ian indeed was his true father, but growing tired of trying to raise him and realizing doing so was cutting time away from video games and attraction sign making, Ian tossed Sonichu in a Dreamcast box and sent him down the river, hoping that Sonichu would grow up and be the son he wanted without the hard work needed. Instead, Chris found him and took him in. Overcome with rage, Sonichu vowed vengeance on Ian and stalked off. Chris asks Asperchu to go get him, but when Asperchu complains, Noir Chu grabs him and tells Chris he'll take him with him. Aspercream begs Noir not to go, but he promises to come back.

In Asperchu's home, Asperia and Alzheichu are asleep when Ian breaks in, calling Asperia "Crystal". As Asperchu and Noir Chu try to find Sonichu, Noir Chu finally snaps and tells Asperchu why they're doing this, then yells at him some more when he's too busy playing his cell phone game. Sadly, they're too late to find him as Sonichu finds Ian first and [[Sonichu Special 4|''blows out his kneecap'']] as he's trying to take Asperia away, vowing never to let Ian ruin another child's life again. As Sonichu blows out Ian's other knee, Noir Chu and Asperchu arrive and stop Sonichu, but it is too late- in Sonichu's rampage, Asperia is shot and killed. As Asperchu mourns Asperia's death, the Yellow Devil arrives...

In Bionic's castle, the crippled hedgehog has taken the three hedgehogs and Ian prisoner. Asperchu tells Bionic that if he hurts Asperia (forgetting already she'd been shot dead), it would make him look bad. Bionic teases, noting that horrible fathers aren't special cases and promises to give Asperia great care. Turning to the broken Sonichu, he decides to extend an olive branch to him by giving him an axe and asking him to finish the job on Ian. Noir Chu tries to stop Sonichu, but the hedgehog refuses, realizing that this is how it's meant to be. In Forte Grosse, Metal Asperchu's attempt to activate the fourth directive obliterates Cthulu Chu. Noting that there are 23 clones, but only 22 seen, he asks Sinestro the meaning of it. When the man replies that he's one step closer to the Apocalypse, Metal Asperchu takes one of the primer clones with a dangerous idea. Using an immature clone, Metal Asperchu is able to activate the fourth directive with ease. When Sinestro tells Metal Asperchu to kill him, Metal Asperchu denies it, telling him he's going to watch his creation.

In Bionic's castle, Sonichu utterly snaps, hacking at Ian, [[Sonichu 10|leaving him in the same position he left Evan.]] Noir Chu and Asperchu are horrified at Sonichu's actions while Bionic is pleased. Sonichu turned to Bionic and wants him to finish Ian together, which they do. When Sonichu sees Ian's lifeless body, the hedgehog breaks down. Finding Ian's glasses, Sonichu passes out suddenly. Bionic has Yellow Devil shoo Asperchu and Noir Chu away as he proclaims that he wants to spend quality time with his brother. Meanwhile, in Forte Grosse, Sinestro continues to beg Metal Asperchu to stop with his experiment, only to watch as the Fourth Directive kicks in, absorbing some of the primer clones into the clone. Sonichu wakes up in Bionic's castle to learn that Bionic had grafted Ian's severed right arm to Sonichu's arm. When Sonichu asks what happened to Asperia, he learns that Sonichu did kill Asperia, but to his horror, learns that Asperia's stem cells on her tail was what allowed Bionic to graft the arms together.

Outside, Noir decides to call Christian and tell him what's going on. Christian is disturbed, but tells the two to head back. Noir asks if there's anything he could do for Asperchu concerning his loss. He facepalms when Asperchu wants to go to the pound to get a new Asperia. In Forte Grosse, the strange Asperchu clone approaches Metal Asperchu, tells him "Death awaits you" and seemingly teleports Bionic, Sonichu, Asperchu and Noir Chu to the 4_cent Garbage building site. As the creature looks over the ruined site, Metal Asperchu introduces it as his greatest creation. Turning to Sonichu, the creature - introducing himself as Argentum - notices the anger and anguish within the hedgehog and teleports him, Asperchu and Bionic to the day Ian destroyed the 4-cent_Garbage building. Thinking that his work was for naught, Metal Asperchu vows to kill everyone for it. In the past, Asperchu and Argentum look over the edge of the 4-cent Garbage building as a strange voice shouts out in anger. Looking out the windows, [[Slaweel the Witch]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Jack Thaddeus]] and two [[Clyde Cash]]es look over to see Sonichu climbing the building himself, calling out for Ian.

===Issue 5E===

The issue starts where 5 ended. As Asperchu watches Sonichu climb the 4-cent Garbage tower, Blazebob Sonichu, Naitsirhc, Jason Kendrick Howell and Jack Thaddeus wonder what's going on. Jason tells Naitsirhc to confront Sonichu, which he does, knocking him onto a window washer platform. When Naitsirhc tells the hedgehog to calm down, he ends up getting killed by him. Giovanni mourns for his dead son, vowing to kill Sonichu for his actions. Jason tells Blazebob to get the citizens out of the tower and for Bagget to gather the COProtectors. Count Graduon warns that trying times for them are ahead. As Sonichu enters the tower, Boyd the "Jerkhief" surrounds Sonichu only for the hedgehog to tear them apart. As he does, Argentum launches Asperchu into the building, telling him to set Sonichu straight. When Jason goes to confront Sonichu, he tells him to stop his pointless attack. When Sonichu refuses, he blasts him with lightning, only for Sonichu to deflect it and set off the sprinkler system. Sonichu preceded to tear apart Jason, tearing apart his head, face raping him through his other eye and smashing his face into the ground.

As Asperchu comes to, Bagget finds him and tries to get him out. However, when he mentions Sonichu, Bagget demands to know where Sonichu is. A few seconds later, Ian's mouse pointer plane slams into the building, but only does minor damage. Feeling the earthquake, the [[CADD Chef]] asks what's going on before Jack opts to go down and find out what's going on. Fearing something bad, Graduon tells Slaweel to get him to the prisoner. Back at the wreckage of the plane, Bagget pulls Asperchu out of the way of the fire's smoke when the idiot refuses to get down. As they do, Asperchu spots Sonichu, who vows to kill our hero. Bagget shoves Asperchu away and prepares to face Sonichu. However, Bagget, like those brave [[trolls|men]] before him, falls to Sonichu, who runs him through with his own blade. Before Sonichu can turn his blade on Asperchu, he is attacked by Plautistic. As the multiheaded beast strikes, Jack Thaddeus and Clyde Cash join the fight. Clyde webslings in, slamming into Sonichu, but Sonichu smacks him away. The hedgehog destroys a Plautistic head, only to see the full body of the creature- Joshua Martinez, holding the scepter holding Count Graduon. Asperchu ends up hearing the battle and goes to investigate. As he does, the action knocks him onto Plautistic, causing him to drop his XBox Portable and making him angry. Sonichu continues attack, taking out Joshua's eye and tearing into his chest before leaping at Jack. The two struggle before Sonichu tosses him off his Goblin Glider. Clyde catches him and Jack tells him to swing back around. Asperchu, however, is glad he brought his backup Game Gear, but is upset that the batteries are already almost dead. Finding Sonichu, he waves him over, only for the hedgehog to slam into him and through Joshua Martinez. The creature starts to disintegrate, dropping Count Graduon as the trio crash into the building. Sonichu recovers and rips off the head of the human Joshua, then turns his attention to Asperchu. Before he can grab him, he is teleported away by Wes-Li Sonichu. Wes-Li Sonichu battles Sonichu, taunting him before hitting him with his Wes-Li-Ha-Me-Ha attack, smashing him into the other building. Sonichu decides to deal with him later. As he goes on, he is confronted by Giovanni, who asks him if he's ever felt the loss of someone he loved. When Sonichu attacks, he is captured by the [[Pokemon]] Shuckle, who Binds him while Giovanni, a Metapod, a Castform and a Delibird approach him. In short order, Shuckle uses Constrict to tighten his bonds, Metapod uses Harden and smacks Sonichu, Castform uses Sunny Day to heat up Sonichu, Delibird smacks the hedgehog with Present and Giovanni finishes it off with a Clothing Iron, burning Sonichu as he proclaims that it's Super Effective. Giovanni turns to leave, only for Sonichu to free himself and kill Giovanni with his Pokemon. Realizing the building was going to collapse, Mary Lee Walsh calls in Michael Snyder to help evacuate the populace, which worries the man, due to the extremities of power needed. Jack and Clyde return and warns them the buildings aren't going to stand much longer.
When they ask for Giovanni's whereabouts, Mary says she sent ScotPalazzo to find him - which he does. Worried, Michael steps aside and calls forth the MIPS to aid him. However, they tell them they they cannot, as their powers are stretched too thin controlling realtors.

Sonichu, meanwhile, discovers WesLi Chu's Luv Shack and enters it, revealing Megagi, Saramah Chu and Jiggliami. The trio have revealed that they broke Sonichu's heart in the past to taunt him. Even more, they reveal that Rosechu has cheated on him with numerous people, including Punchy, Naitsirch and even Dino Dash. Sonichu snaps and kills the three girls before confronting WesLi again. As the buildings prepare to collapse, Michael is forced to teleport Clyde and Jack away as Mary decides to confront Sonichu. WesLi has him on the ropes before Mary Lee Walsh calls him off. WesLi teleports him to the roof, where Sonichu finds Asperchu playing his Game Gear still, as well as Mary Lee Walsh. Mary wants to know what's wrong with him, but Sonichu brushes him off, demanding his father, not realizing that, in truth, his father ''is'' there. Mary does admit that, but Sonichu attacks her. In rage, she turns into a dragon and attacks. She attempts to eat him, but when he bites her tongue, she spits him out across to the other building. However, before she can kill Sonichu, Asperchu's rage over his game of NBA Jam causes him to launch his Game Gear away, causing Mary Lee Walsh to swallow it and explode, much to Sonichu's confusion. Argentum reappears as Sonichu demands his father to show himself. Argentum points to Asperchu, which causes Sonichu to gawk in utter confusion. Argentum asks Sonichu to decide on his path, which Sonichu chooses life, sparing Asperchu's life. As the 4-Cent Garbage buildings start to collapse, the CADD Chef and ScotPalazzo share a last moment together as Asperchu is launched into Sonichu. The two are returned to the present where Sonichu breaks away from Asperchu. When Chris confronts Sonichu, he can only pull away in horror, where Chris is told to leave him be.

===Issue 6===
Issue 6 starts out in Molvania where the MIPS realize the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage Building destruction are feeling restless. Darkbind Chu brings WesLi Chu to the four leaders who tell him that they have a job to do. Back in CWCVille, Noir Chu notices Chris calling up Asperchu for a mission himself, especially with Metal Asperchu stuck in some sort of Blue Screen of Death for the past week. Noir Chu turns and runs, with Mayorshack Tito reassuring Chris. However, Asperchu misses the call (again) and gets Alzheichu to take him to Burger King. There, Asperchu is found by Simonchu who brings him to Chris. Chris tells Asperchu to go to Molvania and find out what happened to the survivors of the 4-Cent Garbage Building disaster. He's then joined by Jivin. To assist them in their arrival, they're given Crackder, a sentient machine that enjoys peace. Asperchu refuses to ride him because he is a [[slow-in-the-mind]], but Chris forces him. Arriving in Molvania, Asperchu and Jivin meet Princess Julie.

Elsewhere, Sonichu hums [[I Got A Fish|a familiar tune]] in trying to catch a fish, but misses. When he fails, he wishes he could return him, but for some reason is glad all those trolls are gone, which confuses him. At the palace, Julie tells Asperchu and Jivin that it was unusual for the CPLF to fall silent with both Molvania and the CWCVille rebels. She suggests taking one of their dropships to investigate. As they do, WesLi Chu sneaks past the guards and reaches Crackder, who recognizes and agrees to help him. Back in CWCVille, Max discovers one of the severed heads of Plautistic and Chris asks what it was doing there. As they question it, Max scolds Yawning Squirtle for not helping and just smoking weed, commenting that it was the reason why Tito beat him in the elections. Chris spots Crackder's return as Max discovers an egg. Back in Molvania, Asperchu, Jivin and Princess Julie use the Pterodactyl DinoZord to reach a castle on a cliff. Arriving inside, the trio find Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus playing ModNation Racers. When Julie asks why they've been silent for months, Jack replies that they've only been gone for 48 hours. In Normandale Community College, WesLi bails from Crackder and breaks in, discovering the disk that Sinestro gave away. One of the MIPS appears and tells him to go to CWCVille with the disk. WesLi doesn't like the idea, but does so anyway. Back in the base, Jack Thaddeus is confused as to why they were missing so much time, leading him and Clyde to go back to CWCVille. They're confused when they learn Crackder already left. To everyone surprise, though, Asperchu tells them that they should find Michael Snyder at the Brass Dragon.

Jivin calls up Max and lets him know about their mission, leading to Chris to go to the Brass Dragon. There, as Asperchu attempts to trade cards for a in-game Pokemon, Chris meets up with Clyde and Jack. Jack asks about Sonichu and Ian. When Chris shows confusion over Sonichu, Jack says that they had to talk about that. Elsewhere, WesLi Chu is sent to where the prone Metal Asperchu is and gives him the disk, fixing his programming. He warns WesLi that Argentum must be destroyed before flying off. In the Brass Dragon, Jack tells Michael and Chris about the 4-Cent Garbage attack and that it was Sonichu who killed everyone. With everyone distracted, Asperchu attempts to switch out the Black Lotus card with his Pokemon Ruby cartridge. However, he is caught and banned. Back in Molvania, Sonichu argues with Ian, thinking he's gone crazy. As he does, Metal Asperchu appears and makes contact. Back in ALBVille, Asperchu, angry over being kicked out of the Brass Dragon and losing his Pokemon Ruby cartridge, discovers a Gamestop. There, he buys two DSis and copies of Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver. Max finds him playing away and wants to know how he could afford all that. As they talk, Metal Asperchu appears before them. The robot scans Asperchu, then smacks Max away when he attempts to stop him. Asperchu shows brief concern before resuming his gameplay. At the Brass Dragon, Chris, Jack and Clyde leave the store when Clyde spots WesLi Chu on the ground. As he comes to, WesLi reveals that he remembers nothing after a mysterious purple hedgehog took him aside. Before they can figure out more, Metal Asperchu appears and scans Chris. At Jivin's house, Jivin and Julie are playing Katamari and smoking Plautistic when Jivin is called up. Soon, Chris, Clyde and Jack arrive to discuss the situation. Realizing that Asperchu was also scanned, they go to call him up, who is busy playing with K'Nex.

Alzheichu drags Asperchu to Jivin's house and Jack asks what's did Metal Asperchu did. However, Asperchu's utterly confused with the question. The questioning is cut short when Simonchu calls everyone back to CWCVille - Metal Asperchu is on the rampage. Chris tells Metal Asperchu to stop, however, the robot tries to distract them by killing Aspercream. Noir Chu tries to get revenge only to be filled full of lead. Alzheichu tells Asperchu to go help the others as Max copies Metal Asperchu and fights the robot. In quick succession, Max, Jivin, Jack and Clyde are taken down. Chris and WesLi fight Metal Asperchu, but both are quickly captured. Simonchu begs Asperchu to help, but he's too busy with his DSi. Metal Asperchu reveals that he seeks to initiate the Anchuent Prophecy, but Chris tells him that he'll corrupt it if he initiates it. Suddenly, Alzheichu attacks Metal Asperchu, stabbing him with Chris's knife, destroying the beast, but killing himself in the process. The five Chaos Pickles are released once again and as Chris realizes they have to get them back, Asperchu complains about being unable to pay for his stuff. In the end, Sonichu approaches Bionic, begging for help as Larry D. Waltz gets Lisa to get back the disk in exchange for passing her classes.

===Issue 7===

The issue starts out with the MIPS discussing the initiation of the Anchuent Prophecy. One of the suggests using Asperchu not as a distraction, but as the means to initiate the Prophecy. Back at Asperchu's home, Asperchu complains over Alzheichu's death, leaving him unable to pay off his debts so he can get the Black Lotus card. With Grandma Snorlax still asleep, Asperchu decides to go get a drink. At the Country Gherkin, Asperchu encounters Heaven again, whom he doesn't recognize. When she notices he knocked back the bear pretty fast and worries if he's drunk, he declares that he is drunk and decides to drive down to the Brass Dragon in revenge against Michael Snyder. As Lucas and Mimms play some Yu-Gi-Oh!, Michael realizes he's being watched and sees Asperchu taking photos of him. Officer Ramirez and Keino appear and try to take Asperchu into custody until he fights and hops into his car to run them down. However the cops are victorious and lock him up. As Asperchu whines, [[Rocky|a creature appears]] and tells Asperchu that, because of his Asperger's, he isn't responsible for his actions and Asperchu declares that he shouldn't be in there, but Snyder. He attempts to get Keino's attention to let him go. A little bit later, Chris comes to bail Asperchu out, only for Asperchu to get high and mighty on Officer Keino, telling him he'd put him on his Respect Scale higher if he arrested Michael Snyder. Chris quickly pulls him out before Keino attempts to murder Asperchu.

At Asperchu's house, Rocky checks in on Asperchu as Lisa and Heaven watch on. Rocky persuades Asperchu that, as a blameless, innocent creature, he needs to confront Chris for not bailing him out sooner and that ''he'', not Asperchu, needs to deliver an apology. In CWCVille, Chris and Sitting Chu talk about the location of the other Chaos Pickles. After welcoming the still-alive Aspercream and Noir Chu, Asperchu busts in (revealing that he was purposely left out of this meeting) and demands that Chris apologizes. As Asperchu goes on a tirade about being healed, Chris gets pissed off and tosses him out the tower, causing him to land on Sammy. In the ruins of the 4-Cent building, Simonchu and Chris find Saramah Rosechu inside the rubble and pull her out. She reveals that after Sonichu ripped off her arms, she blacked out and came to healthy, whole... and with a Chaos Pickle inside her. In Forte Grosse, Sinestro watches in confusion as Sonichu's transformation continues. At the 4-Cent Building, as Sarahmah and WesLi are reunited, Chris reveals that this was because she was a holder of a Chaos Pickle. As the alien, now revealed as a member of the MIPS, listens in, Chris reveals that he, WesLi, Asperchu and three others are also holders, avatars of the Chaos Pickles. As they speak, elsewhere, Ian reasserts control over Sonichu has his transformation ceases for the moment. In CWCville, the heroes learn that Ian himself was a Chaos Pickle holder, but to find out about him, they have to find his killers - Sonichu and Bionic. Taking Julie and Rosechu with them, the group departs. Rocky reappears and tells Asperchu to follow them. However, when he does, he's cornered by Heaven and Lisa when he takes a taxi. When Lisa demands that Asperchu hand over the disk, Asperchu starts on a rant over what Rocky has told him. Tired of his bullshit, she drags him back to Larry D. Walsh, who tells Asperchu that he's missed 195 days straight of school, which utterly confuses Asperchu. When told that if he doesn't fork over the disk, Rocky appears to make sure Asperchu is blameless.

In Forte Grosse, Sinestro tries to tell Sonichu that his cholesterol is dangerously high, but he ignores him in favor of his high on life attitude. Bionic, then, lets them know of Chris's arriving entourage. When Chris attempts to extend a olive branch in peace to discuss about Ian's death, Rosechu spots Sonichu. When she asks what's wrong with him, he ignores her. When Chris attempts to talk to Sonichu about Ian, Sonichu calls him out about not telling him about the truth, then demands they be taken away. In Normandale Community College, Rocky convinces Asperchu to tell Larry to give him the A's just flat out. When he refuses, he attempts to hit him with an Asper-Ha-Me-Ha. Minutes later, Asperchu is jailed again by Officer Keino, who is being treated by Bill the Scientist. In one of Bionic's holding cells, Julie ponders Rosechu's fate when Sonichu sees him and Chris. Chris attempts to talk to Sonichu, but Sonichu begins to cackle manically and walks away. In jail, Asperchu meets up with Max and Jivin, but goes into another tangent about how he's special. Max gives Jivin the bad news about Asperchu. In Molvania, one of the Punislav's tells Julie's father, Jimmy Hill, that she had been captured. Jimmy decides to move out their forces to rescue her.

===Issue 8===

The issue starts at Forte Grosse as Bionic is talking to the Governer. As the Yellow Devil drags Chris in, Bionic reveals that the two of them are going to help serve justice this day. In court, Jivin and Max worry over Asperchu's trial, especially as Yawning Squirtle's his lawyer. Asperchu tries to get Yawning Squirtle to speed it up. The two step onto a platform, which sends them to the courtroom where Bionic is waiting as their judge. When Asperchu demands that the trial just be over with, Officer Keino tazes him and tells him to be quiet. Bionic, then, introduces the jury, which comprises of Reginald Sneasel, Layla Flaffy, DJ Jamsta, Lolista Rosechu, Bullet-Time Montgomery, BlazeBob Sonichu, Chloe Rosechu and the clerk from WAAAAAAY back in issue 0. At the same time, Bionic introduces the prosecutor, Lewis Croagunk, Yawning Squritle's arch-rival.

Lewis calls in Michael Snyder as the first witness, who sets the stage for the first crime - the attempted theft of the Black Lotus card. When Yawning Squirtle attempts to cross-examine, Yawning goes off on a strange tangent before stopping to prepare more weed. Lewis waves off Bionic on another go around. The next witness is Dixie Chu, who tells the story of what happened in Issue 0. Squirtle objects and Lewis explains that her story tells shows how amoral Asperchu is and Bionic overrules it. Squritle asks Dixie a few questions, stares her down, then walks off, leaving her confused. Lewis then adds in a last-minute witness to the list, which gets Squirtle angry. Bionic calms him down and Lewis calls the last witness: Asperchu himself. Rocky appears and tells him to show everyone what he is. Asperchu takes the stand and tells his side of the story, where he said that Asperchu tried to trade Michael the Sceptile for the Black Lotus as a fair trade only for him to deny it and call in a bunch of [[Jerkops]] to attack Asperchu, especially when he mentions he wanted to take pictures of Michael to photoshop into homogay ads. With that, Lewis declares the prosecution rests. Asperchu thinks the trial is moving fast, but Yawning Squirtle says they have a lot of work ahead of them. Rocky appears and tells Asperchu to just lie to Yawning Squritle because he's a troll. When Asperchu tells Squritle this, though, he realizes he should lay off the weed and shoot it to the moon. He, then, calls Max to the stand. However, he has a hard time defending Asperchu. Jivin, Simonchu, Grandma Snorlax, Punchy, Jack and Chris can offer no defense for Asperchu as well. When things seem bleakest, Squritle calls on his last witness - Sonichu. Sonichu begins to defend Asperchu valiantly, but when Rocky interferes, Asperchu quickly goes and fires Yawning Squirtle, taking over his own trial. Bionic warned him of doing this, but Asperchu blows him off. He calls upon Sonichu and attempts to bolster his own ego to do so, only for Sonichu to start arguing with him through Ian's voice. When Asperchu tears off his shirt to reveal his mansire with the phrase "[[Honest Content]]", Sonichu panics and flees.

After Lewis Croagunk gives his last statements, the jury goes and gives Bionic a quick verdict (most of the time was Chloe getting some coffee) and they find Asperchu guilty. Lewis cheers in victory, only for a large foot to crush him from Jimmy Hill's zeppelin. As Keino tries to take Asperchu away, Asperchu resists, forcing Keino to taze him. As he does, Punislavs drop in and surround Keino, Bionic and Asperchu.

==External links==
*[http://www.hsienko.com/asperchu/index.php?title=Main_Page Asperpedia]

[[Category:Fan]]
[[Category:Fan art]]

Talk:Coffee Place

2010-07-03T23:28:43Z

Massive Dynamic: /* Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama. */

Why--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:29, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:With the way she talks, it sounds like a woman Chris clone somewhat. Still, fail-delete this. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 15:30, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*This article seems to be really irrelevant, save for the fact that Bob and Chris occasionally go there. Since no drama with Chris seems to have occurred there, I vote for a delete. --[[User:Shearod|Shearod]] 16:55, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::I'm putting up the deletion template. Unless we got confirmation of Chris doing something worth noting, this page is going down. Sounds like its written by a butthurt employee anyway. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Do Not Delete; Pursue for the Drama. ==

My family and I were there one morning a couple of weeks ago; my camera was screwing up with me, so I ended up with the photo of the front counter. I haven't been back for a while (Damn parents won't drive me back there), and I'm only 14.

Robert was shouting at Amanda, and eventually Chrissy joined in with an uproar so loud, it would have awaken the dead. It was in response to Amanda harassing them that day. I asked around after Robert and Chris left, without my family taking notice of me.

I can get away with anything within my reach; I'm the middle child of a set of three in my family. Sadly, we were only passing through that week on our way back from a visit with my Grandma and Grandpa in South VA; we live up in Boston.

Being bullied as a Freshman last year in my High School was no fucking picnic either. And I really loath ANYONE who is even considered "Special". I'm Special enough on my own for being invisible yet able to attract attention remotely with a mere thought or do-nothing and having to put up with the aggresiveness in my fucking family; I am very much the Master Mind in the family. My father is damned retarded.

But enough about me, I hate Chris as much as the rest of you. Stopping the presses on his books and giving up his website; it still pisses me off. If I recall correctly, it was about 10:30 when the Father and Son Duo left, so best bet is about 10:00 AM to try and intercept. I want to see Chris, if not both of them, squirm in torture from our Trolling of him. I really want to see him blow his top off again. LULZ.

Oh, and the Windows at that place were Tinted, so the photography would be best from inside the place.

For the LULZ!!!!

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:16, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:What the fuck.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 22:18, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:I have no idea what you just said. Make some fucking sense. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:: I'm not fluent in batshit, but from what I've read, this kid saw Chris in a burger king and thought it was big news. If Chris wasn't filing his bottomless gullet with junk food, than it would be noteworthy. We know that Chris prefers McDonald's, so Bob must have chosen to eat here that day. Apparently Chris and Bob got into a shouting match with one of the employee's, but nothing seems to have come of it. Thats my analysis anyway --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 23:22, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

Oh my God. There is a rabbit-hole within a rabbithole. This kid's a fucking nutcase. He has potential to make the front-page of ED. Has a wiki documenting one Internet Phenomenon somehow spawned another? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 22:57, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Can we get an IP check to see if he's actually Chris?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 22:58, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

He certainly writes like him (random capitalisations, odd phrasing); I propose we keep the page up until the proper investigations have been made. [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:02, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:Checked his contributions. High chance this is Chris--he signed up back in May to tell Clyde that he knows he only removed an antenna from the PS3. Then he went to the PSN download pages and a few unusual edits--he removed a pipe to [[duck]] from "Small Things", clarified that he rented Downfall(!), and a clarification that some DLC for Killzone 2 was purchased by trolls during a hack, rather than DLC for Resistance FOM. And the photo he uploaded to this article is labeled "Burger King"--y'know, like the place Bob likes to go to exploit the free coffee thing? I get the feeling Bob doesn't think trolls are tracking him IRL and he wants them to show up at Burger King to prove it.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:17, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

:: Hmmm... Perhaps Bob and Chris got banned form Burger King, and Chris is trying to get trolls to go after the managers and employee's there. Would make perfect sense to Chris... But I'm not entirely sure this is his work, might be some stupid kid... Can we have a field agent do a check of Chris's local Burger King to see if he has indeed been banned? That would explain a lot --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 23:25, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:: The picture was taken on a Nintendo DS. This morning. Check the metadata. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 23:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

User:16BitAlex

2010-07-01T02:22:56Z

Massive Dynamic:

{{Hiatus}}

And, I won't be back under this username, on advice of Edward.

For extra security, I will attempt to ban myself:

Nope, didn't work.

== NEW David Hia COMIX ==

'''David Hia IN VIDEO GAME VULGARIANS:'''

http://i.imgur.com/VvyV2h.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/QiTiwh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HIO4th.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/eBFWJh.jpg

== David Hia COMIX FROM THE SAINTLY DAYS OF YORE ==

'''David Hia IN BOOKSTORE BUFFOONS'''

http://i.imgur.com/YvAaAh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/YVmXWh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xnXXnh.jpg

'''David Hia IN ROCK BAND RAPSCALLIONS'''

http://i.imgur.com/65C8qh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/k17jGh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/qiiQdh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/fHxbQh.jpg

==I give up on this trolling business==

I'm just a cowardly observer and do not have the guts to become a troll. I only wanted to because everyone else had some level above "observer" for a userbox. I just wanted to be one of the cool kids and did not know what it entailed. I even idolized you guys, and to have the likes of Crass of Crass and Champ (in the IRC attack) and Sean of the Asperpedia Four (the comics, I recognize the style) attacking me destroyed me.

I'll just quietly settle into my position as an observer. Stop demonizing and dehumanizing me. I'm not like this all the time, only when provoked. But, that is the job of a troll. Just know that I am not a good target. I'm trying to get my life off the ground here. '''Putting my real name will just make it so that employers can Google me up, see this shit, and then consider me unemployable. You put the troll comics here, but don't attach my real name to them. I don't want to have to ride the tugboat.'''

For the record, it was my fault originally for wanting in the PVCC and starting RuleCWC over not getting in. It was also the fault of the PVCC, for launching the original assault on RuleCWC and doxing me, and Delabonte, for fanning the flames after the attack.

If I had known that:

1. I do not have the heart or mind of a troll
2. PVCC is for the trolls only
3. Cafe Rosechu is available for observers

I wouldn't have wanted in the PVCC in the first place. I learned this the hard way, which cost me my dignity.

:PVCC isn't for trolls only. We have plenty of non-trolls in there who talk about shit and stuff. But yes, you definitely don't have a heart or mind. also i wuz the one to dox you lol [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 19:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

::I still can't believe I believed the Georgeson stuff. And, I should be first on your bad users list, not this BabyNeko nobody. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 21:17, 30 June 2010 (UTC)

And most of all, I want to be un-dox'd. My real name is now almost as tarnished as Adolf Hitler.

* Yeah, now it is: http://davidhia.110mb.com/index.htm
* Holy fucking shit you're a pro at blowing things out of proportion. Wow. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 02:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
* Sully is right. At least Hitler had a job. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 02:18, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
* Hitler could paint too. And he had better taste in music. [[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 02:22, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

User:16BitAlex

2010-06-29T05:38:31Z

Massive Dynamic: /* A note on the "observers and fan artists forum" */

Stuff moved to talk page.

I don't have AIM.

== (name censored) COMIX, AN ONGOING SERIES ==

(name censored) IN BOOKSTORE BUFFOONS

http://i.imgur.com/YvAaAh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/YVmXWh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xnXXnh.jpg

(name censored) IN ROCK BAND RAPSCALLIONS

http://i.imgur.com/65C8qh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/k17jGh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/qiiQdh.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/fHxbQh.jpg

'''Spot on...almost. I do not hate girl bassists anymore, and even placed Ivy on bass in my Rock Band Chris-Chan band. Source on the hate?'''

But, I still stand by my point that any guitar-driven music is metal.

==I give up on this trolling business==

I'm just a cowardly observer and do not have the guts to become a troll. I only wanted to because everyone else had some level above "observer" for a userbox.

RuleCWC might be brought back as the Observer's Forum, since PVCC and /cwc/ are trolls' forums. This will fill a void in the CWC scene.

==A note on the "observers and fan artists forum" ==
Already is one at caferosechu.110mb.com

That's a straight-up fan art site. Don't see any mention of observer discussion. Though /cwc/ is open, it's troll-oriented. --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 04:26, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

Click "Make Suggestions Here".

Fridays After Five

2010-06-19T05:05:43Z

Massive Dynamic:

[[File:WantWoman.jpg|thumb|You know he's straight because his bra says so.]]
[[File:Pedo_exposure.jpg|thumb|left|Scaring children away since 1999.]]
Fridays After Five is a large block party/concert that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. [[Chris]] was recently videotaped there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life for once]].

==18 June 2010==

[[Image:Chrisgirl1.jpg|thumb|left|Chris trying to pick up using his [[Pedofork|skills]]. Picture edited to protect the innocent.]]
Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the man who took these photos, he says Chris wore a shirt that says "I Enjoy Vagina" and was wearing a "gay circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his [[PokeWalker of Fail|Pokewalker]].

At some point Chris pulled back his crude shirt to reveal his [[obesity|flabby gut]] and [[muscle bra|female support wear]], which he had apparently seen fit to write "Want Woman" on with permanent marker. It's unlikely Chris was aware he was being photographed, which makes the weird posing seen in many of the pictures even weirder, meaning this was his weird-assed way of trying to be normal, or he is truly [[Homo|in the closet]].

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:100_0698.JPG|Chris showing off his muscular bosom
File:100_0697.JPG|Chris trying to look sexy for Da Ladies
File:100 0694.JPG|A close-up of Chris trying to seduce a pretty young thing. Notice that he hasn't fully removed his shirt. He's too lazy to actually take off his shirt.
File:100 0693.JPG|A wide shot. Note the little girls who seem to be in shock. And the woman laughing while she's on her cell phone.
File:100 0683.JPG|Chris has a deep conversation with an 8 year old. She seems to have bested him. Also, DAT ASSCRACK.
File:100 0695.JPG|LOOK AT THAT GUT GODDAMN
‎
</gallery>
</center>

==Videos==

{{collapsible
|The videos of the Chrissus Chandlerius in a public place, a rare sight.
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0690.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|tbU7ao0i-Ew}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0691.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|dDlJ-ZY5Opk}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = 100_0692.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vdibt4Ll2gs}}
| Stardate = 19 June 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 0ArchieBunker0]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}
==Sauces==
[http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 Watch it on Youtube]

[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download it]

Template:Da update

2010-06-11T06:37:20Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 95821 by Ronichu (Talk)Not made public, /cwc/ is not an official source

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Synder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.
* 30 May - [[Vivian Gee]] takes over [[CWCipedia]] from [[Mao]], who now shares copyrights to the entire ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' franchise with [[Alec]]. ''[[Sonichu Season 2]]'' begins.
* 27 May - Chris uploads [[100_2188]], where he whines about trolls and insists that he's straight. Again. He also announces he abandons CWCipedia.
* 26 May - CWCipedia gets vandalized (again).
* 20 May - Chris talks about his [[Some Favored Comedians|favorite comedians]] for an excruciating ten minutes, but apparently [[Bob]] is still alive.
* 16 May - A [[Autism Awareness E-mails|leaked series of e-mails]] from an [[autism]] awareness volunteer chronicles her doomed attempts to talk some sense into Chris.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Kacey

2010-06-11T06:35:45Z

Massive Dynamic: Undo revision 95815 by BSD (Talk)

[[Image:Kacey.jpg|thumb|Actual photograph of Kacey]]

'''Kacey''' (full name '''Kacey Yulia "KaceKat" Chandler, née Devoria''') (born 30 June [[1983]]) is a [[sweetheart]] to [[CChanSonichuCWC]] (Liquid Chris) who became embroiled in the conflict between her lover and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (Solid Chris). She has a "[[china|fun]]", "[[china|caring]]" personality, as he believes all women do. As the real Chris is oft to note, she really cares for him, mayunn!

==Background==

Basically, Ian became enraged with jealousy that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] could have a girlfriend while he couldn't, so he conspired to steal her away in a series of devious phone calls in which he pretended to be Liquid, and told her that he would put his [[duck|penis]] in between her breasts and come all over her. He also planned to follow this act by licking his [[comeuppance]] off of her and [[recycling]] it with her. For a straight man it's interesting that his first time would still involve recycling his own semen, thus putting his [[homos|orientation]] into question once again. Happily, he never got his chance as she quickly "realized" that Ian was trying to trick her.

Of note, this is probably one of the most blatant and irrefutable [[lies]] the false Chris has perpetrated. In his utter hatred of Liquid, it is he himself that <s>becomes</s> remains the impostor in a desperate and misguided attempt to steal Liquid's girlfriend. Also of note, Solid does a piss-poor job impersonating Liquid, and Kacey has to literally correct him half the time to keep him from breaking his own charade. The worst is when his infamous narcissism kicks in, and he ends up defending "Solid" Chris' [[Chris and fashion|clothing]], [[obesity|weight]], and [[Sonichu Girls#Chris's Hair|stupid fucking haircut]]. For her part Kacey actually flubs her lines quite a bit, forgetting that she's not supposed to know it's not the "real" Chris. Fat Chris, of course, never notices.

As revealed by Ian in the video [[Greetings to Kaceys folks]], Kacey's parents are Mr and Mrs D. (Devoria).

Kacey is the middle child of her parents, a military couple. Her father is retired military, her mother works in government affairs. She has an older brother, Kale, also military, and a younger sister, Kara, who is a freshman in college. Kacey is rumored to be attending university in Washington D.C., living nearby in an apartment with male roommates. Her family lives in the suburbs of [[Virginia]]. She is majoring in Nursing and Biology.

==Contact with Ian==

On 03 [[August 2009]], Ian sent Kacey [[For Kacey from CWC]] to prove that he is the real Chris.

On 04 August 2009, Ian created [[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]] to reveal his true, fat self.

Kacey was very hurt by the fact that Ian tried to trick her into going to his house. What he was planning to do if she did show up on his door is anyone's guess. In all likelihood he expected her to actually dump her longtime boyfriend for him once he proves he's the One, True and Honest creator of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. That, or put on a brown shirt and paper medallion and hope she never notices the glaring differences while he [[recycling|eats]] his own [[navy]] off of her.

On 15 August 2009, she posted a video announcing ChanSonichuCWC's disappearance and felt distraught and heartbroken over the event, calling the police and going as far as to withdraw herself from their marriage.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = August 15, 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|K9kIcTdeqYU}}
| Stardate = 15 August 2009
| Maker = [[Kacey]]
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Worry
| Other Info = Kacey goes insane over Liquid's disappearance.
}}

On 20 August 2009, she posted another video announcing that the police believed the kidnapping was a hoax, and asked for peace while hoping for the real Chris's return.
{{Deletedvideo}}
{{Infobox/Galpal
| name = Update
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2KNlmx8Nt2o}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [[Kacey]]
| Subject = [[CChanSonichuCWC]]
| Video Type = Reason
| Other Info = Kacey finds out the kidnapping was a hoax.
}}

==The Love Quest==

Once [[CChanSonichuCWC#The_Return_of_the_King|Liquid Chris returned]], details of the contact between Ian and Kacey began to emerge. In Ian's [[Adressing Liquid]] video, he suggested that Kacey had become a close "[[gal-pal]]", and implies that he still pines for her. Ian would later officially proclaim his love for her in the [[fail|creatively]] titled video, "[[I Love You Kacey]]" where he states that Kacey and himself had been in frequent contact with each other, during the period in which Liquid disappeared. He also states that they had met "in person", a fact confirmed by Kacey herself.

In [[10252009 For Kacey]], Ian graduated to an official [[Love Quest]] in his desperate attempt to steal Kacey from her future husband. The delusion would grow further in [[For Chris No 2]], where Ian implies that he genuinely thinks that Kacey is leaving Liquid for him. It would later become clear that this was not the case at all; Kacey would later state that she only ever considered herself and Ian as friends.

However, Ian being himself, he began to think that she really was in love with him, and went so far as to [[Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW|make a video of him gloating to Liquid that he had won her heart.]] At one point, Kacey uploaded audio of herself singing to ''A Whole New World'', from the popular Disney movie ''Aladdin'' to Youtube. The description section ambiguously sought for "Chris" to perform a duet with the audio; naturally, this [[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey|culminated in a video showing the true range of Ian's Sinatra-esque tones]].

==The end of Kacey==

Ian and Kacey's <del>friendship</del> love affair continued for a while afterwards, until Chris got into [[Father Call|some kind of argument with Kacey's father]] after attempting to prove his worthiness as a man. In the process, Kacey saw how utterly messed up he was, mentally and physically, and returned to Liquid's waiting arms. Chris's chances were utterly dashed after she got ahold of [[Sonichu Special 4|his comic to her]] and learned that he was willing go and ''shoot'' Liquid. Horrified, Kacey scorned Ian for his actions in [[Kacey and Liquid Call| a final phone call to him]], never to return. Ian would soon after upload [[CWC is sad|a video where his solemnity was clear]], although this depression would last for merely a day.

==Marriage to Liquid==
[[Image:Wedding_Photo_by_Scarlet_Rose.jpg|thumb|The happy couple.]]

Liquid and Kacey got married on 11 November 2009, at 2 pm EST. It was a very small wedding ceremony with their families and a few select friends. Solid tried his best to ruin the honeymoon via receiving copyright papers, which of course as you probably guessed, [[Fail|failed miserably]].

Little is known of Kacey at this point, despite Liquid Chris resurfacing to help heighten the success of [[Asperchu]].

==See also==
*[[Kacey Phone Call]]
*[[Father Call]]
*[[Kacey and Liquid Call]]

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/MidnightKissable MidnightKissable], Kacey's [[YouTube]] channel</s> Closed.
*[http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mkgfzztdgcz The complete phone call between Chris and Kacey]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rRi90wfvHI Resident Chris-chan 3: Dating Ground]

{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}
{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category:Liquid Saga]]

OkCupid

2010-05-11T00:46:48Z

Massive Dynamic: /* ChrisCSonichu profile */

__NOTOC__'''OkCupid''' is one of the more popular [[dating]] websites, and matches people based on how they respond to questions that they may answer at their leisure. Unlike sites such as Match.com, OkCupid allows users to message and search each other for free, only charging for perks like ad removal and unlimited inbox space. Like so many other [[dating profiles|dating websites]] before, it has been infected by the plague that is [[Christian Chandler]].

==CWCSONICHU profile==
[[File:OkCupidProfile.jpg|thumb|Screencap of Chris's OkCupid profile]]

Chris created his first OkCupid profile in late [[February 2009]]. He gave up on it very quickly — his final login was in early [[March 2009|March]], and he never answered any of the questions or quizzes that the site uses to build a personality profile of each user. It's likely he quit using it after girls failed to flood his inbox with offers of true and honest love. In the usual Chris style, the profile is woefully incomplete, featuring only a very brief personal summary, and a looking-for box in which he checked every available option, including "casual sex."

While mildly entertaining, this profile has been quickly overtaken by the veritable train wreck that is his current profile.

===Profile text===

I am [[Autistic]], Fun, and Creative.

'''My Self-Summary'''

I'm young at heart. I'm currently writing a comic book, and I've written quite a few issues so far. I am a bit shy, but I would enjoy the company of a beautiful girl who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I can, and I don't really like to be alone.

I graduated from [[Manchester High School|high school]] on the [[Honor Roll]], and I am doing very well at [[PVCC]]. A lot of men make false promises to their girlfriends, but [[List of Chris's lies|I am totally different.]] When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, [[Women's Rights|respect]], [[Chris and Death|empathy]], and [[Chris and anger|love]]. I think that (most) girls deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I haven't had the best of luck with girlfriends in my past. There was a lot of lying and backstabbing [[Chris and Hypocrisy|done to me]], and I'm looking for someone who is honest and will love me for me.

Who I'd like to meet:

Someone with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, very pretty, 18-23-years old, lives in, or around, the [[Charlottesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] (both in the state of [[Virginia]]) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke]]-free, non-[[alcohol|alcholoic]], [[Racism|white]] and [[Boyfriend-Free Girl|does not already have a Boyfriend]].

'''Looking for:''' [[Gal-pal|New friends]], Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, [[PandaHalo|Long-distance penpals]], [[Hanky panky|Casual sex]]

''Note: OKCupid has a variety of other fields such as religion, height, race, etc. Chris left all of these blank.''

==ChrisCSonichu profile==
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|Chris's profile image, recycled from his adventures as [[The Hook Cafe|direct2sex]].]]

Chris's return to OkCupid, under the name "ChrisCSonichu," apparently began around [[April 2010]], after the Jackie saga was drawing to a close. This was a much more involved affair than his earlier profile, as Chris updated this profile frequently. These updates slowly changed the page from a badly-written but largely benign profile, into a violently insane, sex obsessed manifesto about how awesome Chris is, and how hot girls should be having sex with him right now. This slow evolution from stupid and relatively innocent to stupid, filthy and deranged can be found in virtually everything Chris has ever made, but is perhaps most evident in his [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]].

The earliest saved version we have of Chris's page is relatively benign. Chris makes an ass of himself in two languages, and refers to himself as a creative genius, but on the whole there's nothing too outlandish. This benign, easygoing period would not last.
{{-}}
{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the first version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a [[Sonichu (comic)|comic book series]]. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the [[Honor Roll]], and I have graduated from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|Piedmong Virginia Community College]] with a Degree and a Certificate in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]]. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is [[honest]] and will love me for me; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[Niggos|black]] and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my [[PS3|projects]] and helping my family.

====I’m really good at====
[[Chris and art|Drawing]], [[Chris and writing|writing]], crafting, making well-thought decisions, [[51 50|heavy lifting]] and other things.

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "[[Mary Poppins]]" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of [[Chris and music|music]] (but my favorite singer is [[Britney Spears]]); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My [[Sweetheart|Girlfriend/Sweetheart]].
<br>-My [[video games|Video Games]] ([[PS3]], [[PSP]], [[Nintendo|DS and Wii]], and all of my older consoles).
<br>-My [[Chris and his ego|creative genius]].
<br>-My good [[Chris and health|health]].
<br>(Not sure about the final two)

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing my "Sonichu's Adventures" on [[LittleBiGPlanet]], or [[Guitar Hero]] or the current video game I'm playing.

====The most private thing I’m willing to admit here====

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy [[Autism|autÃstico altamente funcionales]], y estoy un [[Virgin|virgen]] esperando por mi novia bonita.

''In english, it roughly means he's a virgin and he's autistic''

====You should message me if====
You're A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" and F) (the old expression) Boyfriend-Free.
|}
Over the course of several edits, Chris's profile eventually reached its current, horrifying form. All references to childish things, such as [[LittleBigPlanet]] and [[Sonichu]] were removed, and replaced with things Chris thought of as "manly" like [[Guitar Hero]]. The sheer importance that women meet him "[[Rape|in person]]" became more and more emphasized, as well as constant references to how much he needs sex as soon as humanly possible. The legendary [[Third Date]] is completely foregone in favor of Chris getting precious [[China]] on his very first encounter with a woman, and requirements were added demanding that in-person contact must be had no later than two online contacts in. Despite his attempts to avoid embarrassing himself with his profile, Chris still misspelled the name of his alma mater, referring to it as "Piedmong Valley Community College".

{|class="prettytable collapsible collapsed"
!Full text of the final version.
|-
|
====My Self-Summary====
I'm young at heart. I have a comic book series. I would enjoy the company of a beautiful woman who likes some of the things I do. I also like to have fun when I am able to, and do acts of kindness when possible.

I graduated from high school on the Honor Roll, and I have graduated from Piedmong Virginia Community College with a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When it comes to what I can offer, I can seriously promise care, respect, empathy, and love. I think that (most) women deserve the world, and I would do my best to give it to them.

I am looking for a woman who is honest and will love me for me, and sex is an eventual must; a woman with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 21-28-years old, lives in, or around, the Charlottesville or Ruckersville (both in the state of Virginia) areas, smoke-free, non-black and single.

'''Now in Spanish'''

Yo soy joven en mi corizon. Yo tengo un serie de libros comicos. Me gusta la compaÃ±a de una mujer bonita quiÃ©n la gusta mas o menos de las cosas me gusta. Me gusta tener diversion cuando posible, y hago hechos de benevolencia cuando posible.

Yo gradue de me escuela secundarie con Honor Roll, y gradue desde Piedmont Virginia Community College con un tÃtulo y certificado en Computer Aided Drafting & Design. Yo prometo cuidar, respetar, empatÃa y amor. Yo penso que (muchas) mujers ameriten el mundo, ye yo querÃa hacer mi mejor para dar lo por ellas.

Yo estoy buscando por una mujer honesta y va a amor mi por mi; una mujer con una personalidad feliz y positiva, joven en su corizon, bonita, tenga 21-28 anos, resida en, o cerca de, Charlottesville o Ruckersvlle, VA, Sin Fumar, no es negra y soltero.

====What I’m doing with my life====
I'm keeping it real; taking it one day at a time working on my projects and helping my family. I also work on my art projects, get some exercise in; all that good stuff.

====I’m really good at====
Drawing, writing, crafting, making well-thought decisions, heavy lifting, holding a conversation, showing a woman a good time (on a date with taking her to a restaurant and/or finding a fun event to check out and share).

====The first things people usually notice about me====
I would have to give it to my face, especially in in-person times. When I look at other people, I notice their faces first most often. Aside from that, they notice my being friendly, kind and easy to converse with.

====My favorite books, movies, music, and food====
Goosebumps or Fear Street Novels from R.L. Stein; "Mary Poppins" is my favorite movie of all time; I like most kinds of music (but my favorite singer is Britney Spears); Mac & Cheese, Grilled Chicken.

====The six things I could never do without====
-(After I've found the one) My Girlfriend/Sweetheart.
<br>-Sex
<br>-My Video Games (PS3, PSP, DS and Wii, and all of my older consoles).
<br>-Sex
<br>-My creative genius.
<br>-Sex LOL
<br>-My good health.
<br>-My glasses; I'm nearsighted.

''Note:Chris has recently removed the Sex, Sex, and Sex LOL requirements from this list, replacing them with a single entry for "Food and Water". We have retained them in our version for the sake of completeness.''

====I spend a lot of time thinking about====
How and where to socialize better.

====On a typical Friday night I am====
At home playing Guitar Hero or working on my current project.

I am Very Interested in livening up my Friday and Saturday Nights; I am open for suggestions. ;)

===The most private thing I’m willing to admit here===
I am very interested in sex as well as ALL of the True Love emotions, loyalty and honesty that go along with it. I am Compassionate And Passionate.

====You should message me if====
You can MEET ME IN PERSON within TWO days of First Communication and that you are able to CALL ME and Accept CALLS FROM ME. As Well As If You are A) 21-28 years old, B) not black (no personal offense), C) NOT a Smoker, D) Honest, Compassionate and Pretty, E) no taller than 5'10" F) Single, G) Reside in or around Charlottesville or Ruckersville, VA and H) You'd Like to Get To Know Me Better In Person, share a pleasant conversation, etc. And if you are cool with getting to the bedroom as quickly as right after the First Date.
|}

The only interim change between the first and final versions of this page is Chris's most private thing, where he briefly stated in English that he was an autistic virgin.

{{Quote|I am high-functioning autistic, and I am a virgin; do not be afraid of me nor judge me. I've conquered most of my autistic traits (more of which can be learned on [[wikipedia]] or on autism.org)|Chris, before expunging it from the record entirely.}}

==See also==
*[[List of OkCupid Answers]]
*[[The Hook Cafe]]
*[[Match.com]]

==External links==
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/CWCSONICHU Chris's first OkCupid profile]
*[http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ChrisCSonichu Chris's second OkCupid profile]

{{The Internet}}

[[Category:Websites]]

File talk:FuckYouTito.jpg

2010-05-01T22:54:06Z

Massive Dynamic:

Oh Jesus, I hope I'm not the only one who burst out laughing when I saw the sign in the background. '''[[User:Odettafag|blind justice.]]''' [[User talk:Odettafag|to each his own.]] 16:51, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
:You mean the dog goal sign. Of course, it's typical Chris nature for him to own something like that. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 18:24, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
:It also explains alot --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 21:59, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
* I just plain lol'd when I saw the pic. Reminds me of Jon Lajoie's Pointless Profanity. I'll get a link, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFoEKcf01qs the shot in question is 16 seconds in. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 21:26, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

Nice pelican neck, Chris! [[User:Orly444|Orly444]] 21:46, 20 March 2010 (UTC)

Oh goddammit that's a bionicle poster. Can't my childhood stay sacred? (also fun fact, Chris would have to have been at least 19 when he got that)[[User:Wise dude321|Wise dude321]] 00:04, 25 March 2010 (UTC)

Bah gawd, the autism --[[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 22:54, 1 May 2010 (UTC)

User:YukonBob

2010-04-25T21:28:04Z

Massive Dynamic:

I do Photoshop shit. And occasionally videos.

'''WILD.'''

User:Massive Dynamic

2010-04-03T04:05:13Z

Massive Dynamic: Created page with '350px'

[[Image:Massive-dynamic.jpg|350px]]

File:Massive-dynamic.jpg

2010-04-03T04:01:52Z

Massive Dynamic:

User talk:GodofThunderGodofWar

2010-04-03T04:00:36Z

Massive Dynamic:

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:32, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck the welcome template, Chris doesn't even deserve one. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:47, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
*Don't fucking remove things from other people's user page. Chris is a CWCki user and he deserves a god damn welcome. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:28, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

We haven't banned this faggot have we? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

The great Clyde Cash has told us not to ban him. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:52, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you Chris. Go back to your leeches and your potions! [[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]]

Chris it is time to come out of your closet you homo. --[[User:Psycatalyst|Psycatalyst]] 02:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Glad we haven't banned him yet. BTW could we add some templates from ED to "improve" his page? [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Herro hero! --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 02:27, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to the CWCki, fucknugget!-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 02:58, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chris, hows it going. I too violated your CWCipedia. The part about your mothers phone number, pedophillia, and sucking nigger cocks were particularly lulzy. Anyways, just wanted to say I hate you, you suck at life, and go suck those nigger cocks you love so much, and rape those children. Anyways, love your fail attempts at editing the CWCki. Keep trying you worthless faggot, just wasting more of your time.
Hi Chris. Nice job with your threat of vandalizing three pages before playing your PS3. Good job. No one ban him. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 23:20, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris, how's it hanging? never mind, you'll never read this, too busy playing the PStriple, you know if you just sold that thing you'd be able to update the comic more. --[[User:Homor|Homor]] 01:10, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

[[Fan:Issue 10.5|Issue 10.5]] coming soon to the CWCki! :D --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 01:15, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

'Ey Chris, I have a game I would recommend to you. Dante's Inferno. Play through the whole thing and pay VERY Close attention to the plot. -CWCville Sanitation

God does not look well on those who worship false gods like Thor. Your going to hell sodomite. [[User:Shawths|Shawths]]

Enjoy your stay Chris. It isn't going to be long now that you've proven to be an even bigger bigot than we thought you were. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]] 01:51, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

hey Chris, huge fan here. Just a heads-up: some people and I are writing a biography about you. --[[User:Fabrosi|Fabrosi]] 02:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Chris, give us your Pokemon friend code so we can all beat you at your favorite game.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:08, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hello, you autistic waste of space! It's me, one of the guys who vandalized your wiki. Did you see the page I created with the giant, hard-to-ignore piece of gay Pokeporn? That was great. And now you've come and made your half-assed vandalism. Seriously, we all know you spend the American public's money on things to play and shove up your ass. And to top it off, you confirm that you are quite proud of your Rule 34. Do you actually think that anybody besides you and a monkey with Down's Syndrome considers that to be sexy? Also, [[Reginald Sneasel]] is GAYYYYYYY!!! DO NOT MISLABEL HIM AS STRAIGHT!!! Finally, please stop wasting all of your time with your [[PS3]] and update your fucking comic as soon as your (by your, I mean the Sysop's) site is fixed. --[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 02:25, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Eya there Chrissyboo, I had the opportunity to kick your fat ass last week. I was literally 30 minutes away from the Charlottesville area with my buddies. You're damn lucky I didn't, but then again, you would've had a legitimate thing to sue me over. Even if I did end up being sued by Chris-chan, I would still fail less than you do, Chris. That's how much you fail. If I ever drive to DC again, be prepared. Word of advice: Use your monthly tugboat to invest in an actual gym membership. Hell, my girlfriend alone can do over 60 push-ups easily (Not being sexist or anything), which is DOUBLE your failed goal last year. Be afraid, Chris, be VERY afraid. --[[User:Therealgodbear|Therealgodbear]] 02:54, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chris. How's it going? I gotta say man, I'm a little disappointed in your vandalism attempts. I mean, how hard is blanking pages, really?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chris, hows it going. I too violated your CWCipedia. The part about your mothers phone number, pedophillia, and sucking nigger cocks were particularly lulzy. Anyways, just wanted to say I hate you, you suck at life, and go suck those nigger cocks you love so much, and rape those children. Anyways, love your fail attempts at editing the CWCki. Keep trying you worthless faggot, just wasting more of your time.

Peace, and have a good day retard!--[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]
Peace, and have a good day retard!--[[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

You put more effort into making a threat than you do delivering on it. It's like you don't care that we mock you! Can you do anything right? You can't hold a job, you scare away every girl you see, you can't put effort into anything - Your life has no meaning to find!--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 03:35, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

What stunning and magnificent revenge, Chris. This was a clearly well thought out and well implemented movement, we never knew what hit us.--[[User:Sonichuistehcool|Sonichuistehcool]] 03:41, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Sup Chrissy. I'm a huge [[troll|fan]]. How's your [[The Wallflower|girlfriend]] doing? Welcome to the CWCki and please continue to enjoy your [[virgin with rage|virginity]]!!!
--[[User:Ano de freshman|Ano de freshman]] 03:42, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

You beefed it.--[[User:Massive Dynamic|Massive Dynamic]] 04:00, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

User:StarkEnterprises

2010-03-15T05:08:10Z

Massive Dynamic: Blanked the page

Heather

2010-03-10T05:58:41Z

Massive Dynamic:

[[Image:Antaria.jpg|thumb|Recent photo of Heather]]
'''Heather''' (aka Antaria Wilson) is Chris' latest sweetheart as of March 2009. She is currently known to live in [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] and is /fucking ugly/ as sin. I mean god damn. Look at that faaaaaaaaaaace.

It is also known that she enjoys writing slash fiction about everything from Star Trek to Arthurian Legend, and has an enormous boner for the Ghosthunters.

She goes by Antaria Wilson, Antaria Pendragon and Damian Antaria, which was the name Chris used to credit her as the co-creator of a LittleBigPlanet level.

{{People}}
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Heather}}
[[Category:Gal pals]]
{{Stub}}