CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sweetheart

2010-08-27T20:55:18Z

Mbembe: /* Qualifications for becoming a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart of Chris */

[[Image:Boyfriend-free girls.jpg|thumb|Potential sweethearts surrounding Chris. Note: this never happened.]]

'''Sweetheart''' (which is something Chris will never have, save [[Mass Debating|Rosey Palm and her five sisters]]) is [[Chris]]'s term for his true love ("'''heartsweet'''" is also used in the comics). His goal is to build a [[sweetheart from the ground-up]] to give birth to his God-chosen daughter, [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]] (named after the illustrious metal and [[Chris and his Ego|a name similar to his own]]).

Providing Chris with a sweetheart who is really a [[troll]] has been a sport for trolls for some time now. With the exception of [[Julie]] and [[Sarah May]], none of the trolls have revealed themselves. Some argue that this is because being a sweetheart to Chris is sort of like Stockholm syndrome, leading trolls such as [[Blanca]] and [[Panda]] to identify and sympathize with their captor.

Chris has absolutely no interest in a girl's personality, skills, individual interests or intelligence, but is very strict in his insistence that a sweetheart MUST be cute, younger than him, white, and possess other such completely superficial qualities. He will always say that his life goal is having a "Cute Girl" as his sweetheart. And yet he constantly considers himself a strong advocate of [[Women's Rights]].

==Qualifications for becoming a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart of Chris==
Chris originally spelled out what he requires of a sweetheart in the early days of his Love Quest, using media such as the [[Attraction Sign]] and his [[Sonichu's News Dash]] newsletter. Recurring traits include:
* MUST be [[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]]. ''(can't emphasize that enough!)'' [[Kacey|However, not even they are totally safe from Chris.]]
* MUST be 18 - (Chris's current age).
* MUST be white (NO [[Niggo|DARKIES]] - unless it's [[Fuck_Quest|just for sex]], in which case [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg | Chris is fine with niggos]]).
:*In [[IRC_(17_December_2008)|an IRC chat]], Chris clarified that Asians, Arabs and anybody but niggos are fair game.
* MUST have a [[car]].
* MUST not be a mother.
* MUST be a [[tobacky|non-smoker]]
* MUST have a mid to high salary.
* MUST live within 30 miles of the [[Ruckersville]] area.
* MUST NOT be a [[Jerkop|cop]].
* MUST NOT have [[autism]].
* MUST NOT be a [[BlueSpike|man]].
*<s> IRISH need NOT apply.</s> Irish are alright, as long as they're not darkies.

[[Image:Chris chan is a hoers.jpg|thumb|How Chris views himself.]]

Unfortunately, Chris has yet to realize that [[monthly tugboat|beggars]] cannot be choosers. However, If you fit all of the criteria and are into [[obesity|overweight]], [[chris_and_sex|freakish]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|perverse]] [[Sonichu_(comic)|man-children]], then God help you!

Throughout the ages, Chris has lowered his standards slightly. For instance, Chris's original list of requirements stipulated NO FATTIES, but he later made an exception for [[Sarah Jackson]]. Likewise, Chris disapproved of redheads but made an exception for [[Ivy]]. While he may still insist on "non-black" women as his sweethearts, an [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|image]] surfaced September 2009, showing us that Chris does not have problems fingering [[Niggo|niggos]].

The most noticeable deviation is from his original requirement that women approach him in person as opposed to by phone or e-mail. Following a wave of e-mails and other online communications from [[trolls|women]] wanting to be his e-girlfriend, Chris rapidly changed his tune. Ironically, this was the wisest standard he had set, as adhering to it would have saved him a good deal of grief from trollings.

Despite [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|having said that]] girls should go after poorer, less attractive guys because "they will likely have a better personality", Chris doesn't seem to think that the same applies for the opposite gender. He still insists his sweetheart must be physically attractive and well-off enough to financially support him. Interestingly, despite the fact that his standards otherwise conform to traditional gender roles, Chris never says that his sweetheart must be shorter than he is.

In May 2009, when he started to embark on his abortive "[[fuck quest]]", Chris temporarily returned to seeking only in-person encounters. (He insisted that women find him "by chance", essentially requiring that they wander around [[Charlottesville]] until they found him.) Soon enough, however, he returned to pursuing women by way of the internet, with [[Kacey|predictable results]].

==See also==
*[[Love Quest]]
*[[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]]

{{Sweethearts}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and television

2010-06-22T19:43:56Z

Mbembe: /* Netflix */

{{Needs Images}}

'''Television (TV)''' is a widely used telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images, and a staple in almost all North American homes. It's also one of the favorite pastimes of our [[Chris|mutual friend]]. Indeed, when not "[[Fridays After Five|socializing]]", [[mass debating]], or [[PS3|playing video games]], it's a fairly safe bet Chris is sitting down and watching TV. [[Chris and health| Lots and lots of TV]].

Chris gets most of his information concerning the outside world through TV, among [[Video games|other]] [[comics|entertainment]] [[Chris and sex|media]]. This leads to blatantly ripping off concepts and characters from whatever he watches.

== Taste in TV ==

[[Image:Notthebathroom.jpg|thumb|250px|right|A classic children's show?]]

Most of Chris's television staples are fairly predictable. A bland mush of animation and [[random-access humor]] is rampant, with shows like [[Family Guy]], American Dad, and The Cleveland Show holding his attention for hours. Indeed, Chris is such a devotee to this generic comedy that he bought [[List of Chris's PSN video downloads|tons of their episodes]] via the [[PSN]], for a [[Chris and money|sizable amount of money.]] Adult Swim is another big favorite of our autistic hero, he even entered [[Harvey Birdman Commercial|one of their contests, and raged when he didn't win]].

Anime is another area where Chris's choices are very transparent. Shuffle! is essentially a tale of a somewhat unlikable guy [[Women's Rights|suddenly being accosted by several obedient and attractive females.]] Gunslinger Girl is essentially a slightly [[Pedofork|unnerving]] bit of softcore eroticism. [[Excel Saga]], while generally regarded favorably, is chock-full of in-jokes and [[parody]], some things Chris cannot understand but is eager to copy.

Certain bizarre choices do stick out, however. [[Monty Python]] has been [[CWCFlyingElephants|brought up]] or '[[Merried Seinor Comic|referenced]]' several times, along with [[Some Favored Comedians|comedian]] [[Red Skelton]], and [[I Love Lucy]]. The former feature's absurdity probably piqued Chris's interest, while the final two are probably an offset of his [[Bob Chandler|decrepit]] [[Barbara Chandler|parents.]]
{{-}}
== Netflix ==
[[Image:VideoVixens.jpg|thumb|left|IMDB tags: Softcore, Rape, Vulgarity, Female Nudity. Stay classy, Chris.]]

''For more info, see the corresponding [[Netflix|article]]''

Chris uses Netflix to satisfy his TV watching needs instantaneously, enabling him to reach a near-comatose state of mental saturation. Put in more practical terms, he spent more than six fucking hours watching TV in a single day. Twice. In terms of averages, Chris watches roughly three hours of television a day, at least for the week viewed<ref>http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Netflix#Queues_on_21_November_2009</ref>.

The huge selection and 'Instant Watch' feature, combine with Chris's need to...[[mass debate]], has led to some interesting choices in film. To date, he has rented [[Wikipedia:Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy|Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy]], Story of O, [[Virgin with rage|Virgin]], and many more titles with sexual names. Considering Netflix doesn't deal in porn, he's wasting his time. Other than these porno hunts and impulse rentals, Chris is pretty much interested in only two types of programs — cartoons and [[Random-access humor|comedy]], displaying a remarkably [[Autism|narrow range of interests]]. The only movie that really stands out in his selections is [[Homos|Twilight]].

Netflix has also allowed him easier access to the cartoons of his childhood. [[Transformers]] and [[Sonic]] are the most prominent. The apparent binge of Transformers-related television may have been the '[[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]]' behind Sonichu 9.

==Sources==
<references />

{{stub}}

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Fridays After Five

2010-06-19T02:22:36Z

Mbembe:

Fridays After Five is a large block party/concert that takes place in [[Charlottesville]] from spring until fall. [[Chris]] was recently videotaped there, [[C-Ya Later|enjoying real life]].

==18 June, 2010==

Chris went to one of these events and a good samaritan took these videos and pictures of him out in public. According to the man who took these photos, he says Chris wore a shirt that says "I Enjoy Vagina" and was wearing a "gay circular thing" on his hip which is most likely his Pokewalker.

==Sauces==
[http://www.youtube.com/user/0ArchieBunker0 Watch it on Youtube]

[http://www.mediafire.com/?nkhrmmtjymg Download it]

User:Mbembe

2010-06-18T21:26:08Z

Mbembe:

User:Mbembe

2010-06-18T21:21:02Z

Mbembe:

Wikipedia

2010-06-18T21:19:15Z

Mbembe: /* Other Wikipedia edits of note */

On 1 [[May 2009]], for reasons that only [[GodJesus]] knows, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] registered on '''Wikipedia''' as ChrisChanSonichu. He created a user page that is to record one of the most in depth autobiographical accounts of his life.<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu User talk:ChrisChanSonichu], Wikipedia</ref>

A user page is not an article, and therefore not under the same strict guidelines as an article, but such an extensively biographical one is still a flagrant violation of Wikipedia policy. Wikipedia community tends to frown on use of the user pages as web space ("[[Wikipedia:Wikipedia:NOTMYSPACE|Wikipedia is not MySpace]]"); the user pages should usually be reserved for purposes somehow related to the Wikipedia project, and user pages for users who don't contribute anything to the articles frequently get deleted. Chris, of course, made it abundantly clear that he's not interested in contributing to the articles.

Chris's user page was deleted by a Wikipedia admin believing it to be the work of a [[troll]]. Sadly, as the [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile|details]] show, this was the real deal.

The other thing Chris did was add his name to the article on high-functioning [[autism]], under the list of "famous individuals that may have had many different variations of autism along with HFA."<ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?limit=50&tagfilter=&title=Special%3AContributions&contribs=user&target=ChrisChanSonichu&namespace=&tagfilter=&year=&month=-1 User contributions for ChrisChanSonichu], Wikipedia</ref><ref>[http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=High-functioning_autism&diff=prev&oldid=287579250 High-functioning autism], Wikipedia</ref> The kicker is that he put himself right next to Michelangelo. [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Again]].

To date, the "Christian Weston Chandler" article on Wikipedia has been created by trolls four times and deleted each time: February 15, March 26, April 28 and May 3, 2009.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Christian_Weston_Chandler</ref> It has also been "salted," or protected so that it cannot be re-created under that title. Chris's account was also blocked indefinitely, although the blocking admin believed that his account was a sockpuppet of a troll, and not the genuine article.

==May 2009 drama==
In a [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|video]] on May 3, Chris makes a case for his worthiness and rallies his true and honest fans to restore his biography. He also posted the following on his Wikipedia discussion page:

{{quotebox|
Dear Sir/Madam,

LOOK, I do not have the appropriate calm state of mind to make time to READ those numerous upon numerous small-print details, much less memorize them. I have had a LOT of SLANDEROUS TWISTS OF MY OWN WORDS done unto me in the past SOO MUCH, it is HARDEST for me to get a job in a place that does background checks, only to find that cursed E.D. Page those EVIL TROLLS created against me at the TOP of the list.

I started my OWN Wikipedia page to hopefully counter that and better the people's General Understand of the Noble Gentleman I truly am. I SPENT HOURS, recalling MEMORY after MEMORY to type up the HONEST-TO-GOD TRUTH.

I DO NOT CARE about the erroneous listings or false information listed on other pages; I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET.

Plus, I have [[Vanessa Hudgens|Vanessa Anne Hudgens]] as an honest, very close Gal-Pal, and you know very well how powerful she is as a STAR.

I have created [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_May_3rd,_2009|a video on YouTube]] respectfully asking to leave my Wikipedia ALONE with MY HONEST TRUTH from MY OWN High-Functioning Autistic Head; my LOYAL FANBASE will be sending you letters.

UNDO YOUR DELETION, PLEASE.

--Christian Weston Chandler (talk) 01:25, 4 May 2009 (UTC) }}

In short, Chris doesn't give a shit about contributing to Wikipedia, only wanting free PR.

==Other Wikipedia edits of note==
[[File:Meganwikipedia.png|200px|thumb|right|Megan disapproves.]]
[[File:Smitheywiki.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Cole approves.]]
In January and February 2010, [[Megan]] removed references to Chris from the Wikipedia articles on Manchester High School and [[Cole Smithey]].<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Meganshroeder</ref> Her edit summaries both ended with "that was either put there by vandals or by Christian under the assumption he is important enough to be mentioned (he is mentally handicapped)." Less than a day later, her edit summaries were struck out.

The articles' histories indicate that both mentions of Chris were added by anonymous users who most likely are not Chris, as the genuine article would have been far more [[Chris and English|verbose and rambling]]. One editor cited this very wiki as a reference, running afoul of Wikipedia's policy on [[Wikipedia:WP:RS|reliable sources]]. As our own Wwwwolf put it, "Sorry, but Chris can't be mentioned here either unless there are reliable sources for this. That means actual publications. Also see Biographies of Living Persons on why sourcing stuff in biographies is such a big deal. This is not CWCki or ED; please remember Wikipedia's rules." A quick perusal of the talk page and edit history of any article even remotely connected with Chris reveals large amounts of petty vandalism from [[EDF|slow-in-the-minds]].

On 22 February 2010, the article on Cole Smithey was placed up for deletion.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Cole_Smithey</ref> The first two votes in the discussion both called for deletion of the article, and both made explicit mention of Chris; the second one read, "'''Strong delete''' unless somebody wishes to write a sourced, neutral article about him. Otherwise, this serves as cannon fodder for the ChrisChan Sonichu fanatics over at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]." The article was deleted on 1 March.

It should also be noted that an account with the name Cole Smithey edited the Wikipedia article on Cole, and spammed film articles with links to his reviews. Whether or not this is the real Cole remains to be seen.
{{clear}}

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile]], a facsimile of the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ChrisChanSonichu deleted Wikipedia userpage]

==External links==
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/ChrisChanSonichu Chris's edits]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu&oldid=287920013 Chris's talk page] before it got locked, complete with [[pickle|gherkins]]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Administrators%27_noticeboard/IncidentArchive534#User:ChrisChanSonichu Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard], where admins talked about Chris
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Slakr/Archive_12#Additional_point User talk:slakr], where an admin called us special for taking "pot shots at some poor guy suffering from apparent mental disability"

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and race

2010-06-15T22:52:56Z

Mbembe: /* Asians */

[[Image:GrandWizards4Sonichu.jpg|thumb|250px|Chris approves as he attends a [[Gay4Sonichu|Klansmen 4 Sonichu]] meetup]]
[[Image:Niggersjews.jpg|thumb|Chris's view of other races.]]

[[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s '''racist tendencies''' can be traced at least partially to his southern heritage, but certain other factors seem to imply that the rest of his worldview on race comes from stereotypes depicted by popular culture. In some cases, however, Chris seems to be completely unfamiliar with even the stereotypes, opting to make up a bunch of bullshit off the top of his head.

==African Americans==
{{main|Niggos}}

Chris demonstrates many instances of intolerance and racism, both intentional and unintentional. His racism comes from several sources: [[Bob Chandler|his father]], his isolated formative years, television, and his complete ignorance of everything that isn't him. Black people, in particular, are a common target for his xenophobia, hence the word "niggo".

==Asians==
In the [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]], Chris portrays [[Punchy]] as a kung-fu master with slanty eyes. While in a mailbag, he was called out on this and retorts by denying that he's Asian. Outside of the comic, Chris also misattributes the origin of kung-fu to Japan, when in actuality it came from [[China]]. He does a racist impression of a Chinese person and claims Japanese and Chinese people sound the same as shown in [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5]].

In his real life dealings, Chris seems to have a positive or at least neutral view toward Asians. He has stated that he would not exclude Asian women from his [[Love Quest]], and at one point [[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Eating Spaghetti (36:49 - 38:54)|believed Emily to be part-Asian]]. However, he never includes black hair when he lists suitable hair colors for potential [[sweethearts]], which would exclude most Asian women. He also mentioned receiving a graduation gift from Reverend Shin of Chesterfield County's Korean congregation in the [[church audio]].

[[Manajerks|"Turdijerk"]] from "Off-Target" has a vaguely South Asian appearance and the name may also be based on a stereotype of an Indian accent.

[[Image:ChingChong.jpg|thumb|The only known image of "Ching Chong".]]
===Ching Chong===
In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009]], Chris present us [[Chris and remorse|sincere apologies]] for having scared a small Chinese girl that [[Ivy]] tutored in art. The child, known only as '''Ching Chong''' (程鍾 ''Zhēng Zhòng'') is now traumatized due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own [[semen|"Navy"]] while innocently browsing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris never made a follow-up on the girl and never asked why her name was a known racial slur towards ethnic Asian communities. In the [[Wedding Comic]], Ching Chong is seen [[List of Sonichu characters#Ching Chong|as a flower girl]].

==Native Americans==
{{main|Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:02-Cheroki-Chan Card2.jpg|thumb|left| This has something to do with Native Americans. No, really.]]
As stated in the main article, despite claiming to have at least one [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|Cherokee ancestor]], Chris is completely ignorant of Native American culture. However, unlike other minorities, Chris's opinions and representation of native are a misguided expression of "pride" for his "heritage".

In [[Sonichu 2]]: [[Sonichu 2#Episode 7: Sonichu in "Anchuent Prophecy"|Episode 7]], Chris tries to tie in his "Cherokeeian" heritage with Sonichu lore. He depicts Cherokee characters in his work as white and wearing gold armor ([[Wikipedia:Joseph Smith|Joseph Smith]] would be proud). The actions and spirituality of the Native Americans in his comic have almost no resemblance to any actual people that ever existed.

Chris has also embodied his ignorance of Native American culture in a physical form. For a brief time, Chris blurred his gender roles and began to collect and customize "[[My Little Pony]]" dolls. One of the dolls he crafted was the infamous Cheroki-Chan, a Native American pony. While there is nothing overtly racist about this abomination, it is probably not how Native Americans want to be represented. In the end Cheroki-Chan is just another Mary-Sue for Chris, and pales in comparison to Chris's most infamous portrayal of Native Americans.

In a shocking display of ignorance, Chris attempted to emulate what he perceives as "Native American culture" in a [[War Paint Video]]. In this video Chris wears water washable paint (and a "[[muscle bra]]") and wields a gun in an attempt to frighten trolls into submission. Instead, it served to illustrate his outrageous insensitivity and callowness.

==Jews==
{{quote|I hope that God will forgive you for being so heartless and cruel Michael Snyder! JEW!|[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Chris]]}}
In [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas]], Chris describes how Jews living in [[CWCville]] celebrate [[Wikipedia:Hanukkah|Hanukkah]]. On December 12, members of the CWCville Jewish diaspora set up "Menorah candles" (the "Haunaka" Menorah candelabrum has 7 candles in it, while the traditional Menorah used on Hanukkah IRL has 9) instead of Christmas Trees, with [[Wikipedia:dreidel|dreidels]] lying under them. Since the candle-related symbolism is very much present in the RL Hanukkah rituals, it's in good taste to give CWCville Jews anything candle-related as a gift. e.g., when Sonichu's daughter [[Cerah Rosey]] baked cookies for her friends, she decided to make her Jewish friend Kevin a candle-shaped one. Because Jews surely love to be distinguished from other people on any occasions based solely on their faith, and would take deep offense in receiving a normal nothing-special-shaped cookie as a gift! Also, Hanukkah is the only Jewish holiday, and so candles are super-important to Jews!

The interesting moment is that there actually is a tradition of eating specially baked foods (latke and sufganiyah) on Hanukkah, and vanilla is one of the allowed ingredients used in making them. Not that Chris knows anything about this, mind you.

Near the beginning of Chris' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|latest]] (unsuccessful) attempt to be unbanned from the [[The GAMe PLACe]], he casually pointed out that Michael Snyder was probably Jewish (although, Snyder is a very common German last name), using his last name as a point of reference. Of course with Chris being the [[slow-in-the-mind|idiot]] he is, it ended with him angrily calling Snyder a Jew. Given the use of the word as an insult, and Chris using it in context with other words denoting a type of sin it shows just how tolerant he is of other religions. In a later video ([[100 2178]]), Chris appears to restrain himself from calling Snyder a "greedy Jew".

==Hispanics==
[[Image:332-Espanolic.jpg|thumb|left|Espanolic, the Spanish Pokémon]]

Aside from his rather tenuous grasp on [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|the]] [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo|Spanish]] [[CWC's Pokésite 2|language]], Chris has created a somewhat racist caricature in the form of [[List of cards from The Wall of Originals|Espanolic]]. It's a grass-type [[Pokémon]] that resembles an anthropomorphized sombrero, and its main attack is confusing its enemies with its "strange language". Its evolved form, Vegaton, has an attack called "Spanish Fly", that puts its enemies to sleep.

Hilariously enough, [[Nintendo]] would later create similar Pokémon named Lombre and Ludicolo, which they did being far less blatantly stereotypical.

So far, the only Hispanic character in the comics is [[Heather Iglesias]], the nanny of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Sonichu and Rosechu's children]]. Chris is probably trying to be inclusive here, but he isn't creative or intelligent enough to think of anything besides a stereotypical occupation for Hispanic women.

It may also be notable that often times, Chris refers to Hispanic people as being "Spanish". While not totally inaccurate, the word "Spanish" is usually reserved for peoples from continental Spain, whereas "Hispanic" is used for peoples from countries that predominately speak Spanish (a good comparison would be referring to people from Ireland or Scotland as "English").

==Parental influence==
[[Image:GrandWizardBob.jpg|thumb|right|Bob telling Chris the Barack Obama joke.]]

Given that his father [[Bob Chandler]] grew up in the southern United States before the civil rights movement, it is very easy to assume that Bob harbors racist beliefs and has passed at least some of them on to Chris. It is possible Bob also disliked that Chris's high school basketball team had only three white players and the two [[Wikipedia:waterboy|waterboys]] were both white. This line of reasoning was cemented in 2008 when Chris began referring to his father saying that, if elected president, [[Barack Obama]] would "paint the White House black."

==Chris and stereotypes==
Chris's views of cultures besides southern white Christians can also be traced to the television he watches. The typical Adult Swim cartoon includes gratuitous use of stereotype-based humor. Chris takes [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|''The Boondocks'']]' satire of black stereotypes at face value. He also portrays nearly every person of African descent that appears in Sonichu with bald heads and either [[wikipedia:Golliwogg|round, bulging eyes]] or glasses that resemble such. Finally, he does an impression of the stereotypical black accent, which he apparently confuses with the Jamaican accent, in [[Mumble 4]].

His exposure to anime fuels his misguided views on East Asians. Asians, in his views, [[Excel Saga|excel at]] [[random-access humor]] and [[Punchy|martial arts]].

Chris, despite claiming Cherokee ancestry, doesn't seem to know what a Native American even looks like, as he portrays the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as an overtly European person wearing Greco-Roman garb. He also tramples all over their actual rituals and culture simply to implement the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] into his comic.

==Not a racist?==
[[Image:ECP_00024.jpg|thumb|left|Chris being a [[niggo|wiggo]].]]
{{quote|And I am NOT racist, and I like Jews|Chris, in response to a [[Mailbag_6#Rejected_Mailbag|rejected mailbag]] email}}
Chris does not want to be considered a racist. He claims to respect blacks as equals, saying that in CWCville [[Fail|"they can even vote"]], but at best he merely tolerates their existence so long as they stay away from him. Or if they can [[Reggie Fils-Aimé|help him get his inane and idiotic video game made]]. However, he does genuinely like two black people: [[My big 18th party (story)|Kenan & Kel]].

Also, Chris has probably never been told that the voice of [[Sonic]] in the animated series that he loves so much was Jaleel White (AKA Steve Urkel), a black man. If someone told him this, he would probably deny it. However, given that Chris managed to get [[LittleBigPlanet|respect]] for [[Homos|Stephen Fry]]...

He did mention more than once that the reason he doesn't want black girls (but any other race is okay) is because he thinks God told him that his future daughter Crystal must be white, too. (In an [[IRC (17 December 2008)|IRC]], Chris said he has no problem with dating an Asian. Later, in [[Mailbag 35]] he wrote he would date "Asian, Native or Hispanic women, as well as women of all other countries" except the ones being black because he's "Old Fashioned".)

Realistically, Chris is not considered a white supremacist type of racist but more of a xenophobic one. In other words, he's afraid of ethnic groups he's not familiar with. Like most things in his life, [[Chris and reality|Chris has no real knowledge and bases everything off what he's seen on TV]]. Chris's perception of minorities is only what the TV shows him, since encountering them in real life is something that rarely occurs.

===Improved race relations?===
[[Image:CWCRockin4Way.jpg|thumb|left|Chris does not judge a woman by the color of her skin but by the size of her tits.]]

An image leaked on 26 [[September 2009]] showing Chris having sex with three young ladies, including an African American woman. In the [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|Captain's Log of 10 October 2009]], Chris clarified that the woman with whom he's performing sexual intercourse is "Half And Half" (mixed ancestry). This proves to us that, even if he's ready to touch the [[china|genitals]] of a black woman, he is unable to imagine the sexual intercourse with someone not sharing white ancestry. In fact, there's evidence that [[Crystal_Weston_Chandler_(sister)|shared ancestry may be a turn-on for Chris.]]

It seems that the futility of his [[love quest]] has lead Chris to lower his ridiculously high standards even further, as he did with fat chicks (which he dropped for [[Sarah Jackson]]), and red heads (as he did with [[Ivy]]).

===Nope, no improved race relations===
[[Image:Chrishunwessonkramer.jpg|thumb|"Fitty years ago you'da been hung from a damn dirty tree!"]]

This just in: Chris is a bigot. If anyone had any misconceptions that Chris was anything short of the most horrible person on earth, he ended Sonichu Day by calling Tito the N-word in "[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]" and in the [[Surfshack Tito Emails]], making him an official racist. (The repercussions of this event included Jack Thaddeus removing his ads from CWCipedia and Mao taking over the site for a short time, leading to a massive amount of vandalism.) Soon, Chris also called Michael Snyder a Jew (in a derogatory way) in [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]. {{clear}}

==Minority characters in Sonichu==
*[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Kevin]] (Jewish, good)
*[[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] (Native American, lawful good)
*[[B-Manajerk]] (black, evil)
** Occasionally other [[Jerkop]]s are shown to be black as well. No other minorities are apparent.
*[[Barack Obama]] (half black)
*[[Blake]] (black, evil turned good)
*[[CADD Chef]] (black, evil)
*[[Florance Fisher]] (black, good)
*[[Jerkhief]] (black, lawful evil)
*[[Punchy]] (Chinese-Japanese, good)
*[[Silvana]] (black, evil [said to turn good])
*[[Turdijerk]] (unclear, drawn with tan skin, evil)
*[[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|Constable Louis Perez]] (black, TRUE and HONEST policemen)
*[[Inos]] (black, [[tobacky]] smoker)
*[[Heather Iglesias]] (Hispanic, lesbian, never seen)
*In the [[Mailbag]], when Chris is confronted about the lack of minorities in his comic he claims that all of his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokemon]] are considered "minorities" in CWCville, implying that he completely missed the point of the question.

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}
[[Category: Chris-chan]]

Template:Da update

2010-06-14T23:17:11Z

Mbembe:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 10 June - [[Fan:TV Tropes|TV Tropes]] article on ''[[Sonichu]]'' gets deleted and locked due to [[Prickly-wicklies|negativity]].
* 6 June - Chris uploads a [[June062010.MOV|video]] addressing [[Michael Snyder|Michael Snyder's]] accusation against him.
* 4 June - Chris finally confirms our suspicions. [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=Uvgy-m2KbGw Michael Snyder on YouTube] talks about how Chris tried to [[pedofork|take pictures of his daughter]] and [http://www.youtube.com/comment_search?username=thercholic how he tried to run him over]. Surprisingly, [[CWC's Diary#June 2005|this isn't the first time he's tried to kill people with his car]].
* 31 May - Chris uploads [[100_2189]], where he talks about the rights to Sonichu still belonging to him, and not [[Alec]]. He also talks about [[trolls]] scaring him off the internet, and that he will stay off the internet. Again.
* 30 May - [[Vivian Gee]] takes over [[CWCipedia]] from [[Mao]], who now shares copyrights to the entire ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' franchise with [[Alec]]. ''[[Sonichu Season 2]]'' begins.
* 27 May - Chris uploads [[100_2188]], where he whines about trolls and insists that he's straight. Again. He also announces he abandons CWCipedia.
* 26 May - CWCipedia gets vandalized (again).
* 20 May - Chris talks about his [[Some Favored Comedians|favorite comedians]] for an excruciating ten minutes, but apparently [[Bob]] is still alive.

('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits pride of place on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

Mimms and Lucas Q&A

2010-06-13T15:38:40Z

Mbembe: /* Initial post */

The '''Mimms and Lucas Q&A''' was a series of questions and answers on the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] message board with [[Daniel Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] regarding their experience with Chris, initiated by [[CWCki]] admin and PVCC user [[User:Champthom|champthom]].

Mimms and Lucas's answers provide insight into Chris's past, particularly at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and the extent of his involvement with the Pokemon League. Despite Chris's claim of being a gym leader at the Pokemon League, Mimms and Lucas assert that he only filled in once. Furthermore, Chris disliked playing with black children and would frequently lose and have tantrums.

==Initial post==
Champthom contacted Mimms via [[Facebook]] asking three questions:
:# what Chris was like at the Game Place, and if he knew the grounds of why Chris was really banned,
:# if he could tell us anything about Megan
:# if he tried to play his homemade cards.

The answers were shocking:

{{quotebox|
...
nywho, heres some fun stuff you may not have know about CWC. The reason he got banned from the game place is in part due to his blatant [[racism]]. Also, because he would frequently blow up when losing to small children, he had scared off some good business, so Mike really wanted him gone. Lets not discount the fact the His parents threatened to take me to court. Also, There were some [[Niggos|black kids]], age 12-15, who would frequent the [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|Yugi-oh]] sessions (actually good kids) who he kind of picked on because he always acted like they wanted to steal from him. No one wants to be discriminated against, so there was a bit of animosity between Chrissy and the group of black kids. His final banning is due largely to the fact that he got in a [[Chris and anger|scream contest]] with one of the kids and of course the "adult" should be responsible, but not Chris. Essentially Mike was looking for any reason to ban him at this point and this was good enough, because he was tired of having long time patrons harassed by this retard. He was asked to leave and to not come back Mike, so Chris calls his parents. Mike Calls the [[jerkops|cops]]. The result was hilarious. watching his [[Barbara|fossilized mother]] get put in here place by a jerkop was pretty fulfilling.
(sorry if that was long winded)

Other fun stuff... He had about a [[Wall of Originals|20 different custom cards]], but never played any of them. He was very rarely left in charge of the Pokemon league because he had such a short temper and hated dealing with all the little kids' wins and losses, so I real adult needed to be present. [[Megan]] would usually stand/hide behind me and Lucas to avoid him, especially after the [[Shecameforcwc.jpg|drawings]] of her got leaked. I'd prefer to leave her out of this to be honest, as it was a traumatizing experience for her. She and I are still friends for the record. Chris would rarely ever shake anyones hand after a game, and when he did, he quickly followed up with hand sanitizer. I received a My little pony for Xmas one year from him, cuz I treated him like a person for the longest time. If you care to look it up, I got Mimbo-boboruto. It had a green pompom 'fro, because I had a green 'fro (no joke). It should also be know that he played the game Universal Fighting System (UFS) wherein you can play as nearly any fighting game character. He always picked a steriotypical bimbo as his character, usually Cassandra and sometimes [[CWC Fighter|Chun-li]].}}

==Follow-up==
After the initial message and popularity on PVCC, four more questions were sent to Mimms:
{{quotebox|
1) Did Chris lose a lot at Yu-Gi-Oh and/or Pokemon? I and someone else are curious at how good Chris was at TCGs, like if he won a lot or if he frequently lost to 10 year olds.

2) Chris seems to cite this story about how he went behind the counter at the Game Place to get something, and they banned him for that. Obviously you cite a different story and I was wondering if there was any merit to Chris's story about going behind the counter that got him banned.

3) To what extent did Chris lead the Pokemon League? Your story about how he was rarely left in charge is particularly interesting, considering Chris says his "greatest contribution to society" was leading the Pokemon League and he equates his experience at The Game Place as the volunteer gym leader as actual work experience (yes, as in the kind he would put on a [[resume]] if he actually applied to a job) and as charitable volunteer work. He said his experience there helped him develop "leadership skills like Optimus Prime" (I shit you not, those are his words).

4) What's this about an interrogation? [he offered to tell me about the interrogation he got when they found out about the infamous blurry picture]}}

Mimms responded:
{{quotebox|
1) Chris was pretty awful at all the games he played. he had rediculous themed decks that never worked in pokemon and he never used any trategy at all in yugi-oh. He only won 1 tournement of yugi-oh durring a regional event when most of our good players were gone. There must have been about 6 people including Chris and myself at the tourney and when he won he was jumping up and down a yelling [[Fail|"I'm the level up king!"]] Since that was the theme of his deck. Other than that he would lose to small children and rarely made it past the first round in organized events.

2/3) He wasnt actually a gym leader for Pokemon league, but on a few occasions the regular gym leader couldnt be there, he happily volunteered to sub in because he never missed a Friday session of Pokemon anyway. After a few reports of him raising his voice to impatient children it was clear that something had to be done about him. One day when he was taking the place of gym leader, he went to the back room to get the box of prize support and badges and whatnot without permission. Since he is neither an employee or a gym leader, Mike decided to use it as an excuse to ban him for one month. That was his first ban. The other ban story I told was the second and permanent ban.

4) The interrogation came a week after I took the famed blurry picture. Keep in mind that Chris still liked me at this point and that he is very very gullible. I come and sit down like any other friday, start chatting and playing a round of Pokemon with Lucas and some other players and these two old people walk up and ask if they can talk to me. The conversation starts kind of slow talking about Chris disability and how they struggled as parents and seem rather bitter that their son is far from normal. They then ask if I took the dreaded picture. I say yes and then play dumb as far as how it got on the internet. They then threaten to take me to court for misusing his likeness with out his consent. At first I was really shaken by this, but then I realized they were full of shit and couldn't actually do anything of consequence to me. So then I put on the smug bastard face and ask them if they're done and if I can go back to my game. Later, Mike tell Chris if his parents ever do anything like that again, he'll call the cops (cuz Mike has my back). This is also a big push to Chris down his slippery slope to being banned, probably the biggest one, in fact. anyway, thats the basic gist of the interrogation.}}

==Q&A==
Mimms was asked to join the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]], along with Lucas and they were flattered by the invitation.

{{quote|So uh, what's up guys. Name's Lucas. Mimms has been filling me in on the events of his FACEBOOK discovery so since he decided to reveal himself I decided to pop in here and check things out.

I'm better at typing than he is so feel free to ask me anything|Lucas}}

{{quote|So, I decided to join this board to answer all of your questions, or at least as many as I can.

I am the Mimms, fire away with any questions you may have.|Mimms}}

===Chris as a customer===
{{quotebox|Did Chris spend a lot of his money at the game place? As in, enough to make it obvious that he was wasting his tugboat on cards?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|of course}}

{{quotebox|What did (if anything) Chris do aside from play cards and hit on Megan on a regular basis?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|donged around on his [[PSP of Fail|psp]]}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys only see him on Fridays at the Game Place, or did he come around more often, to like look at comics and such?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Pretty much just card playing events, but for a while that was fri-sun for pokemon, yugioh and UFS respectively.}}

{{quotebox|How long was he there on Fridays? Would he hang around later than everyone else to "be cool" and "hang out" with everyone, and stalk Megan?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|He was never a minute late to pokemon as far as I know, in fact he was usually about 15 minutes early. The only time I can remember him missing a friday session was when he went on a vacation for a week. Megan's brother isnt autistic, but he is kinda dumb. jus' sayin'}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever scare off customers at the Game Place?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Yes, mostly small kids because parents didn't feel like their kids were in a safe enough environment with the belligerent man-child around.}}

===Tabletop games===
{{quotebox|What kind of Pokemon deck did he play? I'm guessing grass/electric.

Also, does his greasy skin glisten in the sun?

And finally, do you have any fond memories of your time with him? Somethign that might help humanize him a little?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|He played a bunch of decks. Like, he had a huge plastic deck container thing what was also [[Lego]]'d up. Last time I ever played him he was using a pure Psychic deck (I think, match didn't last long enough for me to see much, thank god). He also sung along to [[Britney Spears]] the entire time we were playing. O_o

Fond memories...one time he brought his [[Wii]] in and everyone played Brawl for a while, that was fun I guess.}}

{{quotebox|What exactly does a Pokemon gym leader do? How do they get the position, what responsibilities does it entail, and so on. I played the video games all the time back in the day, but the only CCG I've ever played is Magic. Was the idea of a gym leader something that the Game Place came up with independently, or was it common to lots of card/gaming stores?

Were you two trying to avoid keeping track of the Chris-chan saga, or have you been following it closely all this time?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Pokemon gym leaders are usually adults who want to be active with their kids who are into the game. I think they are asked to do it by the store staff, but I do know it is a voluntary. Their duties are fairly simple and include: keeping track of points on a score sheet in order to win promo cards and badges (wins are 2 points, loses are 1), giving out promos and keeping things from getting too chaotic (rarely a problem). To be honest, I'm not 100% sure how common gym leaders were, but I'd guess they're standard in any pokemon league.

Also, Lucas and I have followed this shit strom every step of the way, just curious to see what the hell we would do next.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever end up crying after he had lost a game?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|yes I made him cry once. It was so awesome!

short story: I one turn killed him in yugioh.

Long story: I was playing an exodia deck. Get all 5 pieces, win the game. I have an infinite loop combo in my deck that allows me to draw the whole deck which includes exodia for a game win. 2 Manticore of Darkness and card of safe return. When manticore goes to the grave you can bring it back by ditching a card of the same type, like another manticore. Card of safe return says, whenever you special summon from the grave, draw a card. Really easy combo, great for making autistic people cry. good times.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris have any interest in RPG's or Table Top games like Dungeons and Dragons or Call of Cthullu or was it pretty much limited to Yugioh and pokemon?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|Game Place didn't have any organized D and D so I wouldn't know if he was ever into it.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|someone mentioned a Virgin rage card in the first Mimms Board: Yeh, that totally exists among many others.}}

===Video games===
{{quotebox|Have either of you played him in [[Guitar Hero]]? If so did he win?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|
Nope, never have. Although one time I had my 360 and rockband shit with me because all the bros were gonna chill afterwards, and he huddled up to us to inquire about it. Then he started huffing and puffing and raging because [[Hex Bawx|HEXBOX]]}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris used to rant on and on about his hatred of Xbox? Did he ever explain why he hated it so much? Did anyone ever tell him to shut the fuck up about it?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|It's like /v/ but IRL}}

{{quotebox|how was he when he brought his Wii over and played Brawl?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|He wasn't too great at the game. He also only played [[Sonic]], [[Zelda|Link]], and Pokemon Trainer.}}

===Chris's behavior===
{{quotebox|Since he came in an [[Chris_and_fashion#Cosplaying_Chris|Ash Ketchum]] getup, did he also act the part as well? You know like being in character?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|This question reminds me that at one point he had one of those fucking Yu Gi Oh arm things.

To answer your question, I don't recall him acting in character. The Ash getup was years ago though.}}

{{quotebox|Did you guys ever see Chris outside of the Game Place, like [[McDonalds]], movie theatre Target, the mall, [[church]], anywhere?
-any stories of note, if you answer yes?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|I think the only time I've encountered Chris outside of the Game Place was at the Brawl release tourney and you guys already know about the funny story from that event. He was generally being weird and I remember some of the other guys at the event were kind of like "Jeez what's up with that guy"

I'm pretty sure he also yelled at someone for bumping into him or something.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever bring his legendary "[[attraction sign]]" and what are your personal opinions on how pathetic it is?

2. How bad did he smell?

3. Did he always wear the same shirt every week? What was his [[Chris and fashion|clothing style]]?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|1. Nope. Pretty fucking pathetic. I've known a couple other autistic kids really into Sonic the Hedgehog (Seriously what the hell is it with Sonic and Autism) and none of them were even close to pulling something as retarded as that. I can't even comprehend it really.

2. I didn't really smell anything when I was around him.

3. Not the SAME SHIRT but his wardrobe pretty much consists of similar shitty goodwill shirts. As you can see in the picture he switched to that purple/green one. Usually he had red. Also, for a while after the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|Parappa contest]] he wore a [[PaRappa the Rapper|Parappa]] skullcap that he won for a few weeks.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|1. I've never seen it, but it is pathetic as shit. Which reminds me of another something else he did. Appearently during his mall stalking days he had a paper heart on a strong that he would throw in the direction of women he fancied. It was rather disturbing and annoyed a lot of patrons, so he is also banned from the local mall. (he also stalked some chick who worked there, which was the final straw).

2.I didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary to be honest. Although I wanted to know either...

3. A long time ago, when he was less fat, he had an Ash Ketchem get up that he wore every week. Hat, gloves, vest, pokeballs, you name it. More recently he just wears the same few stripy shrits and the Hardees jacket.}}

{{quotebox|-Did Christian ever [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soil himself]] in your store? If so, how did he react?

-How did the kids react to him? Were they scared, or did they antagonize him further for fun? Were there any particularly funny moments like this?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|1. I have no idea, I hope he never did, and if he did I am glad i never knew about it.

2. From what I saw most of the age groups stuck together unless there was a BATTLE going on. Most of the time Chris kept to himself and his PSP or whatever unless he got involved in a match. Whenever an outburst happened things got quiet and everyone stared for a moment or so but then they all went back to whatever they were doing (used to it I guess) But none of the kids ever fucked with him so I guess they were all afraid of him

Also, most of the time parents just drop their kids off and fuck off somewhere. Or they would be off in a corner on a laptop or something but there hadn't been many outbursts in a while and I never saw a parent telling him off or anything.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris ever befriend any of the little kids in a more then "Friendly" way?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|he's not a [[pedofork|pedophile]], but if you wanna accuse him of it, go for it. I'm sure someone will believe you.}}

{{quotebox|Did Chris often make lewd inappropriate comments to or about any other female customers?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Not at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|Does he walk or does he waddle?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|kind of a waddle, mostly just an odd gait.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever get to hear his infamous [[Donald Duck impersonation|Donald Duck voice]]?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|sadly yes, its awful and doesnt impress anyone.}}

{{quotebox|How often did he bring up his [[virgin]]ity?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|not often at all at the store. he's really got into the self loathing on Youtube, but didnt bring it up much at the game place.}}

{{quotebox|
Did Chris ever brag about [[Sonichu]] as if it were his best achievement or something worth telling others about? You know like to the kids and other patrons? If yes, did he also promise there would be Sonichu official cards one day or something stupid like that?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|
Well like I said earlier he printed out and put together a copy of the [[Sonichu 0|zero issue]] and ALWAYS had it on him. I mean he had it for years. YEARRRSSSSS. I remember when I first started playing back in middle school, and I never actually was curious enough to read it until sometime during high school. He also had business cards and whatnot that he would force on people. ALSO, just about everything he owned was covered in Sonichu crap. His PSP has a sonichu shell, you've all seen his [[Gitar of Fail|GH guitar]], etc etc.

We actually don't live in his area, [[Ruckersville]]. Thank god.}}

{{quotebox|Wait, what? He had a paper heart he would throw at women?!}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|He had a heart on a string that he would treat as a fishing pole of sorts. He'd toss it at a girl and REEL EM IN}}

===Chris and Megan===
{{quotebox|Did you ever witness him pulling any really creepy shit with Megan at the Game Place?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|Ever more like every day.

He was constantly putting his arm around her and shit and it got to the point where she would take refuge in the midst of our group of bros.}}

{{quotebox|How does Megan feel about Chris after all this time? She's considered to be the root of a lot of Chris' current psychosis, so information on their relationship is really useful. Also, is she at all interested in being involved with Chris' current internet drama, or is she too scared by Chris' many attempts at [[rape]]?

Speaking of, how far did Chris go? We know from Megan's emails there was a lot of inappropriate touching.}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|We've been aware of his comics for years. He always had the copy of ISSUE ZERO that he printed out on him for anyone curious enough. I'm pretty sure I ended up with a Sonichu business card or something at one point, can't really remember.

As far as the [[ED]] stuff, most of the other regulars didn't really pay attention to what was going on as far as I know, except for Megan of course and some of our friends. I think some of the employees checked out the ED page early on but there weren't a lot of conversations about it after a while.

I haven't talked to Megan terribly recently (I don't really bother going to Pokemon when Mimms isn't around, and he's fucked off to out of town college) but the vast majority of our recent AIM conversations have been her asking me about what wacky shenanigans Chris had gotten himself into. Like has been established in those e-mails, she's cut off all ties to him and she finds most of the ED stuff kinda funny I guess. I think last time we talked was the subject of his [[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases|sex toy orders]] and she was pretty much LOL EW GROSS. Nothing terribly interesting.}}

{{quotebox|What was he like with Megan?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|For a long while, they were actually good friends. They would leave the main Pokemoning area to go discuss [[Sailor Moon]] and Nazis (No joke, Megan is into some odd stuff. Probably just a GI Joe offshoot.) But As time went on he got more annoying and then hideously awkward at which point she starting hanging with me and Lucas and avoided Chris altogether. It was quite a reversal, but a well deserved one. I dont think chirs has much [[Monthly tugboat|money]] of of his own for spending on other people, but I could be wrong.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|
I helped Megan deal with Chris, so we decide that she just ought to forget about him and all the bullshit that happened, so we dont talk about him ever anymore.

He was always too uncomfortably close to Megan, but I dont think he ever forced him self on her to get a kiss or anything more than that, at least not in public. They were friends, thats all, but apparently he views any friendly relationship with a female as something more.

Megan is a very interesting person. Very shy and a social outcast to say the least, I guess she and chris have that in common. But whatever was between them is now 100% gone and she basically refuses to acknowledge his existance.}}

===Racism and homophobia===
{{quotebox|I'm also interested in Megan and/or anything else that hasn't been discussed to death. Especially discrimination. We all know Chris hates DEM [[HOMOS]].}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Usually he was pretty hostile to the black kids at yugi-oh. It was total BS since they're all good kids. Sure we're had a few kids who come in once steam a card and never come back, but the regulars are all cool guys. I would always try to hide his stuff when they were near and never wanted to play a friendly game with them. I'm sure he used a few racial slurs, [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|never nigger or anything]], but it was obvious he was a huge racist. [story] I remember one time he and this [[Jerkhief|huge black guy]] named TJ were arguing about something that Chris was wrong about (since TJ is one of the best players in town) and as it got more heated, they started yelling about how Chris would never get laid. Chris yells at him, "I'm going to smack your effing face down!" and TJ stands up like hes going to beat his ass. Chris shrinks back and and says "I mean your face down monster..."

Moral of the story: Chris a bitch and he's awful at all card games. Also, he used to never curse.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|I really dont think he shat himself and the Until its most recent move, The Game Place hasnt had a public bathroom.

I havent pitied him at all since [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|the video where he mopes about being tricked by the man in the pickle suit... again]].

First Memory of Chris was thinking, who the hell is this dude in the Ash Ketchem get up and why does he where it every week...

I Rage so hard whenever he opens his mouth about something thats anti-gay. Dont get me wrong, I'm not a fan gayness, I just think as people, they have a right to live and do as they please. They dont need some retarded fuck wad trying to make it more difficult to buy deodorant..... Which reminds me of a story.

So, one night at UFS, everyone is just sitting around playing cards and out of nowhere, Megan says "I hate [[Wikipedia:List of Tekken characters#Yoshimitsu|Yoshimistu]]. He such a retard and a fag." Then John, the tourny organizer, says, "I would thank you to never say that again..." Chris goes "Why? Are you an F.A.G.?" John lets out a sigh and facepalms. Chris then says, "Cuz, you know, Tito's a Homo." (Tito is the owner's son who works there) Tito cant find the words to rebut with and just stands up and walks away thinking to himself how Chris could possibly think he's a homo. (later, we find out that one day Mike was joking around with Tito and they exchanged sarcastic homosexual remarks, and from that tiny exchange, Chris extrapolated that they were gay.)}}

{{quotebox|Apparently there was a gay male who was friends with Megan at the Game Place that Chris yelled at; the poor guy was worried Chris [[Death threats|was gonna kill him]]. Were you there for that? Do you know what happened?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Kinda. His name is Eric, and for the record he is also a furry. Eric kind of picked on Chris and sort of took his spot as substitute gym leader 1 or 2 times. That and the fact that he's gay are reason enough for Chris to act malicious toward him, although I doubt he was in any real danger.}}

===Trolling Chris at the Game Place===
Mimms (on the infamous picture):
{{quoteboxred|While I did take the famed picture, it was Lucas who posted it to [[4chan]] to share it with the world, so in actuality, he probably deserves most of the credit. I just happened to spend more with Chirs (lucky me).}}

{{quotebox|How did you take the photo? Camera phone? Is it blurry because you were shitting yourself that he'd see a flash or a camera and go batshit at you?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|Digital Camera. I took a couple of pictures with my phone as well that are from further away but a lot less blurry. Dunno why that one is so blurry, I guess Mimms was trying to be quick and inconspicuous.}}

{{quotebox|[[Chris_E-mails_2008#March|Was it truly something you didn't know about be 4 about this Chan?]]}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|The funniest part about that is that I have no recollection of him saying that to me whatsoever. I had no idea I was even a suspect until I saw that email.}}

{{quotebox|What was [[Bob Chandler]] like when they visited your shop? I'd imagine he didn't say too much during the incident but [[Barbara Chandler|Babs]] was being a real hardball at that time.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Thats exactly right actually. He barely said anything, mostly tried to look intimidating I think, which he kind of pulled off. I'd hate to have his surly ass as a grandparent.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|I've never met anyone else IRL who made his life hell other than Lucas and Mike.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|I dont smoke, but Lucas does and we only drink on the occasional weekend.}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|What do I think of the people following Chris? Hmmm, when I first saw the thread on /v/ I was just like HOLY SHIT. I never imagined it would explode the way it has. It's kind of a surreal feeling sometimes. Other times it's funny as shit. It's also really fascinating, especially how deep some people have investigated into his psyche.

I've never seen a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|Curseyehameha]]

From what I saw your assumption is pretty much right about how Megan interacted to Chris. She was nice to him and of course Chris is Chris so he construed it as something more. Mimms could probably answer the question better since he goes further back with them.}}

===Chris's ban from the store===
{{quotebox|Chris has being trying to be allowed back into the game place (by posting videos on youtube) does the store owner know or care for that matter?
Also did Chris always bring up he was a virgin also? Or his love quest...

Last one, can he or has ever being a fight? Sounds like he gets too scared.}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|Yes, [[Michael Snyder|the manager]] is aware of Chris wanting to be let back in. In fact, Chris sent a letter to him a while before he made [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|the youtube video]]. He told us about it and we pretty much just laughed about it.

I can't recall Chris ever bringing up his [[Love Quest|LOVE QUEST]]. I'm sure he has at some point though so when Mimms comes back he might have a different answer.

Yeah he's never been in a fight as far as I know. At least not in the store or something like that. He's yelled at kids plenty of times though if that counts. I remember one time he yelled at some poor kid for taking a long time to make a move during a Pokemon game. He gets really impatient during games and if you make a mistake or do something in the "wrong order" he gets upset.}}

{{quotebox|Would you know around when Chris started going to the Game Place? Or when you first saw him there?

And do you know round about when that first, one month, ban took place?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|I searched around some chatlogs and I think the first ban (Which was actually two weeks, not a month) Was April 4th last year.

As far as when Chris first started, we're talking years ago. I'm two years out of high school, and Mimms started going around the time I was in 4th grade (Long before I lived in VA). He said He thinks Chris started sometime after that. Probably a few months? A "season" of pokeymans league usually lasts a few months and Chris probably started around the 2nd season.

I first started playing around middle school some time. Maybe 7th grade. That's when I first saw Chris in his Ash getup. I remember being pretty weirded out by him but nothing terribly specific.

I just remembered a story but it's not terribly interesting. One time (this is back in the middle school era) I was chillin with Mimms and another bro during Pokemon (before I joined). I was just hanging out watching them play, and Chris asked me if I wanted a match. I told him I didn't have a deck or anything, but I knew how to play, and since I noticed his huge [[lego]] box of decks so I said if he let me use one of his decks I'd play with him. He pretty much snapped at me with a [video has been since deleted]}}

{{quotebox|Was Chris aware he wasn't welcome at the Game Place because of the way he acts?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Probably, only he doesnt see what wrong with it. Mike and I have talked about the [[reality]] that his parents have helped him fabricate. he thinks he can do anything and get away with it because he's different. The Idea of being able to do anything comes from the constant encouragement you have to give special needs kids (I know, I've helped out with a little league baseball team with disabilities.) and He's just taken it to a higher level.}}

{{quotebox|Can you shed more details between the confrontation between the Chandlers and the cops in the shop?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Basically, Mike asked him to leave and told him he couldnt come back and rather than just leaving he went outside and called his parents. Mike had already threatened to call the cops, so he did. Cops show up, make Chris and family look like idiots because they cant do anything. Its a private store and mike can ban who he wants. I didnt actually hear what was said, but I watched through a window, hence my story of tantruming Babs getting put in here place by glare from a cop.

On a side note, Mike doesnt own the game place, he's just the manager. The owner is a dick whose name escapes me cuz he's never there.}}

{{quotebox|Would Chris ever be let back into Game Place? Say, if someone else began running the store? Or if he were to clean up his act a little? (not likely, but yeah).}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|No}}

{{quotebox|Did you actually see the video of his appology/beging to come back to the gameplace, like he assumes you did? Thoughts?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|yes I did. I actually commented on it. basically he has no shot at every getting back in, partially because he's not actually sorry but mostly because he'll scare off more customers and no one likes him anyway.}}

===Chris's history and personality===
{{quotebox|You wouldn't happen to know anything about Chris' brief employment at [[Wendy's|wendys]], would you?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|I had no idea Chris had a job, and it's actually pretty surprising to me, goddamn.}}

{{quotebox|All of us know Chris is a closet weeaboo, but did he ever bring up [[anime]]s or anything like that while you were working there?}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|
I remember one time at a UFS gathering (For anyone who doesn't know UFS is a game that features characters from [[Soul Calibur]], Street Fighter, and Darkstalkers), Chris started trying to impress Megan by talking about how he had downloaded the Darkstalkers anime and put it on his PSP. She just kind of brushed him off.}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Yeh, back before things where hideously awkward between him and Megan, they talked about sailor moon a lot. Like daily, a lot. Other than that, he had some [[transformers]] he would bring in from time to time (if that counts). He would give them annoying voice and make them shoot at things until the staff asked that he not bring them anymore.

Also, there are no good kid V Chris stories I can think of that arent just nods to his screaming and short temper.}}

{{quotebox|Quick question, Chris blames ED for his current situation, and in his early birthday video he seems sort of normal and not overweight, depending on how long he went to the game place, when did he really lose it and when did he become a fat fuck. It was all pre-ED right? and did Chris himself ever mention the ED page?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Chris has always been a fat fuck and I very much doubt he'll ever lose his virginity without paying for it morally and monetarily.

Chris have never gotten violent with anyone, because he knows he cant win and he is sure that a higher authority (cops/ court) will punish you if you lay a hand on him.

Chris had a deck that used his fake cards, but never played it, from what I saw. He did hand out business cards with a link to his website, but nothing other than that. Although a part of me kinda wants a Sonichu Promo card...}}

{{quotebox|Being acquaintances with Christian before his life got hijacked by the internet, do you personally feel he's deserved the trolling he's gotten the past year?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Not nessesarily, but if he was smart enough to stop giving trolls amo against him, then I might actually pity him. He's really just asking for more when he makes so many stupid comments on youtube.}}

{{quotebox|He seemed to be a weird but mostly quiet guy in his Game Place years. Why do you think he's become the preening idiot we all see online?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Complete lack of social interaction with humans other than his fossilized parents.}}

{{quotebox|Just how retarded is Chris? We all know he's high functioning [[autistic]], etc., but he has his own driver's license. How functional was he socially and mentally at the game place?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|I'd say he worked about the same level as a 10 year old, but with practice of some things maybe as much as a standard teenager, but I doubt he'll ever think or act like an adult.}}

{{quotebox|Did you ever notice if Chris acted nicer towards the women that he played?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|What women? Moms dont play. Kids arent women. and that leaves Megan, who we all know he was a little too friendly with.}}

{{quotebox|Which Chris vid is your personal favorite?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|[[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|The one]] where he's laying on he bed or couch and takes a long sigh and says the man in the pickle suit got him again. Mostly because I almost felt bad for him right there, but then realized it was still really funny.}}

Lucas:
{{quoteboxred|Hmmm...my favorite Chris Chan video would have to be the [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero|Holding out for a Hero music video]]. As an aspiring film-maker, the camera and editing techniques Chris used were quite inspirational.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever an instance where you found him to be an enjoyable person to be around by merits of his own character as opposed to finding entertainment in his antics?

Was there even any sort of time where you felt like Chris had redeemed all of the faults that you talk about, even if it the "joy" associated with it was fleeting?

Does he any any good qualities? That's my thing -- I've never seen someone so absolutely devoid of redeeming characteristics.}}

Lucas replied:
{{quoteboxred|is that supposed to be a joke or something

But seriously, his is a company that I have never legitimately enjoyed.}}

Lucas added:
{{quoteboxred|Well like i said earlier one time he brought in his Wii and people played Brawl. That was pretty cool I guess. He was kinda weird about the controllers but I don't recall him not letting someone play. He had to be in all of the matches of course.

He was really finicky about the handling of them and which controller was what player. He had to do all the setting up himself.}}

{{quotebox|Was there ever ANY, even in the least bit, of a redeeming quality in Chris?}}

Mimms:
{{quoteboxred|Not really. Other than trying to be nice some times, he was mostly a self righteous jerk. example: There was a Parapa the rapper contest he entered (and complained about on youtube) for which he handed about flyers to people so they could vote for him. No one did of course. He also read off everything on the flyers before handing them to people, like they couldnt read or something, that always annoyed me. But no, he's basically a waste of my oxygen and [[Monthly tugboat|tax money]].}}

[[Category:Eyewitness Accounts]]

User:Mbembe

2010-06-13T01:29:08Z

Mbembe: Created page with '{{AssBurger}} {{Krapplefag}}'

Mailbag 1

2010-06-12T22:58:25Z

Mbembe: /* Chris the inventor */ -link to invention article

__NOTOC__
'''Mailbag 1''', Created 19 [[November 2009]], was the first [[Mailbag]] posted on the [[CWCipedia]]. [[Chris]] only answered the ones that lavished the appropriate amount of praise on him, and deleted all the others. Highlights include Chris promising to bring back [[Sub-Episodes]], dodging questions about [[Niggos|race relations]], and babbling about making a [[Homos|cure for homosexuality]].

==Answered==
===Sonichu the bad guy===
[[Image:Freecandy.jpg|thumb|Oh boy! Free candy!]]
{{quoteboxred|From: gunterschmttrlng@aol.com

It's soo cool that Christian is updating [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] so much lately! I love this comic, but my only wish is that it would update more frequently. I know inspiration is a big variable, but still! Also a BIG THANKS to everybody at maintaining CWCipedia so Chris can update his comics and thoughts.

Sincerely,

Gunter

(P.S. I sent a little fan art. It's not as good as Chris but you get the idea!)}}
{{quotebox|Thank you, Gunter, for your encouragement. I appreciate your fanart, but I have to tell you, it is a frightening image, and it makes Sonichu look like a bad guy, when Clearly He Is Not. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Subepisodes and transformers===
{{quoteboxred|From: Martin Witzel <ryu23456@hotmail.com>

I really loved the [[Sub-Episodes|Subepisodes]] Chris. I miss them, they provided SOO Many Information about you and I generally Miss your Presence in the Comic.

''The [[Transformers|Transformer]] movie did not Appeal to me. So I am happy when the Transformer Arc will Finally be Over!!!''}}
''The Italicized part of this email was deleted by Chris, who cannot handle criticism.''
{{quotebox|Martin, I did away with the Sub-Episodes, because I felt they were just an extra I did not need. But I will add side-episodes after book 10 of stories of and around my life and [[Cwcville]]. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris on racism and evolution===
{{quoteboxred|From: Andrew Keefe <l.shavarash@gmail.com>

I was just wondering... what's your opinion on race relations in the US? Do you believe that [[Niggos|black people]] have been horribly mistreated?

Thanks!

also
What's your stance on the evolution debate?}}
{{quotebox|I feel that black people should be treated as equals like the common white folk, because we, like them and all other races, live on the same planet; are considerably immigrants in past generations, and we all are human beings.

To each their own opinion of our origins, although personally I feel it is a combination of both when you think about it. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Imposter's powers===
{{quoteboxred|From: Johnny Estes <johnestes4@gmail.com>

Dear Chris,

How does the [[Liquid Chris|impostor brown Sonichu]]'s transformation work? Did
Robotnik somehow find a way to duplicate the [[Anchuent Prophecy|Anchuent]] Powers? And if
so, why doesn't he just give fake medallions to all the Jerkops to
make their army more powerful?

From John N. Estes}}
{{quotebox|More or less like normal transformations, but are more weak, because the powers are artificial. This one was a prototype. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Timeline suggestion===
{{quoteboxred|From: Lea Pineau <ashtonlea@live.com>

I love the series!! ^^

But theres some stuff I'm confused about, like when things happen and stuff. Could you maybe make a timeline to show us fans when exactly plot points in the story happen!? THANKS!!}}
{{quotebox|That is a good suggestion, Lea; I will take that into great consideration. Thank you for your input. --[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:44, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Inspiration===
{{quoteboxred|From: Cody Larson <cody.m.l0101@gmail.com>

Omg hi! Is this Chris? Like, THE christian weston chandler? Creator of Sonichu? I really hope it is. I found this email address on the CWCipedia? I really hope it gets to you. I just wanted to say how awesome I think Sonichu is, and how happy I am that you've been doing more comic pages! Please don't stop with the daily comic pages Chris, they really give me something to look forward to every night. I would like to state that I am a 24 year old STRAIGHT girlfriend free boy who is looking for a true and honest sweetheart just like yourself...I do have a few questions...if you would be so kind as to answer them...I don't expect you have a lot of time after reading through all your fan mail and drawing the comic...but if you could find some time...it would really make me feel a little better...maybe you could even help me..

First off I was wondering where you get your insperation from? So many of your characters and situations I can relate too in real life, have a lot of the things that appear in the comic happened to you in real life, or is most of it stuff you just come up with?

I'll make this short and only ask two questions.

Second question: How do you keep yourself going? Sometimes...it's been so hard for me, I've been so lonely that I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, it's almost like I just crash into a deep slumber and have no motivation to do anything else. Having been on your sweetheart search for years now you must understand this feeling, how do you cope with it? How do you pull yourself up every day?

Thanks Chris again, It would mean so much to me if you answered even one of my questions.

Sincerely

A TRUE Sonichu fan!}}
{{quotebox|Well, Cody, for your first Q; the inspiration mostly comes to me at random, and I memorize them by writing them down for a future page or two. Some come from real life; some are made-up.

Second Q; Mostly, I take it one moment at a time; I try not to think about the negatives and focus on the positives with improvement ideas and such. I pull myself up by counting my blessings.

Keep a happy thought, Cody.
--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:57, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===The cure for homosexuality===
{{quoteboxred|From: supappleton@aol.com
Hey!

Everybody at CWCipedia is REALLY COOL DUDES for giving Chris a venue to speak his mind and upload his comics. Especially since those heinous trolls hacked into Chris's other sites and spraed lies and rumors about him. They daily updtaes are TOTALLY RADICAL TO THE MAX, and I hope Chris can keep doing them! I read a lot of webcmoics, mostly stuff like Ctrl+Alt+Del and a bunch of other gamer comics and a lot of those artists find updaitng every day way too stressful. So BIG UPS to Chris for showing the trolls a thing or two about Hard Work and honesty. Plus nobody puts as much effort and thought into his comics as Chris. I don't want to sound pushy or nothing it would be MONDO BODACIOUS if Chris could anwser a few questions?

1. Are any of the Sonichus and Rosechus autistic, or have [[Asperger's syndrome]]? Some of them seem like they do sometimes. I'm sorry if I can't give examples off the top of my head.

2. The Dating Ed episode was really interesting. I wish Chris would translate some of his BIG ideas to his comics like this more often, because the way Chris thinks about stuff and things is really interesnting. So my question is, will Chris ever do something like this again? I know he had some ideaas about he could rehabilitate the homos, so maybe he could do a comic about that.

Sorry for going on for so long!

-- Me.}}
{{quotebox|NONE of the Sonichus or Rosechus are autistic or have the "aspergers" (which is NOTHING LIKE ATUSIM; look them up on Wikipedia and compare). Spoiler Alert: In the comic, during my time in the void, I end up at a later year when scientists have truly isolated the Homo Gene, and needed to isolate the Straight Gene to make the Vaccine. I Personally Volunter a bit of my blood, they find the Straight Gene, and I take a couple of syringes with me back into the void on my trek back to my time. Guess who will be the first to be injected and transformed back to his past self Permanently... '''[[Reldnahc]]'''. I took two syringes for in case one of them breaks or gets lost.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 01:57, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===In which Chris plans to steal a plot===
{{quoteboxred|From: magiccranberries@aol.com
Just a CWC (lol!) note to the CWCipedia admins:

CWCipedia is amazing! From the lavishly detailed background to Chris's amazing comics to his thoughtful essays, it's like the mind of Christian Weston Chandler is busting out of the screen and all over my face. I know it's real selfish of me to make demands and stuff, but Chris should have the Sonichus go on a road trip sometimes. They never seem to leave CWCville! When people in college go on Spring Break they usually go somewhere for Spring Break, like Florida or Mexico. Brian and Stewie from [[Family Guy]] go on road trips and adventures all the time, and these are the best episodes of the (already amazing) show. I know Family Guy is a strong influence on the Sonichu comics, so Chris should definitely have the Sonichus travel around a bit much. I know Chris doesn't do anything he doesn't want to, but could you at least suggest it to him?

Love,

Shanna}}
{{quotebox|Dear Shanna, thank you for your suggestion; I have made note of it, and a Road Trip-type story will be made in the future.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris the inventor===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:Leonardo da Vinci|Leonardo DaVinci]] <leo.da.vinci@hotmail.com>

A Message to the person behind the CWCipedia:

I've thoroughly enjoyed the artwork of Christian Weston Chandler. Truly, he is my artistic equal.

I've also noticed that Christian has obtained a degree of Computer Aided Drafting and Design. When I was the age of Christian I was inventing many ingenious things from my imagination and observation of nature and mechanics. I also have noticed that the father of Christian was a great inventor in his day. Has Chris ever tried his hand at inventing anything? I am sure he would be as talented at it as he is with all other things.

- Leo}}
{{quotebox|"Necessity is the mother of [[invention]]", and I have invented quite a few crafts that have served me well. I will list three: Sonichu, Rosechu and the City of Cwcville for One set of Inventions. Built from [[Lego|Legos]] and held together with tape, I invented a heavy-duty case to hold my 20+ Pok'emon Trading Card Game Decks with an area designed for damage counters, die and such. And the [[Dating education|Dating Education]] Class.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:07, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Chris is alive so quit bitching===
{{quoteboxred|From: Jessie Lamp Eye <lampexplosives@gmail.com> 
I'm glad to see the comics have made a comeback, but a bit disappointed that there isn't more "[[Adult Chronicles]]" stuff. Those were always my favorite parts.}}
{{quotebox|I think you mean the Sub-Episodes and stories of my life; if it makes you feel better, they never stop, because I am still alive and well.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Bring back the Luv Shack===
{{quoteboxred|From: Brianna Ricaud <bricaud75@gmail.com>

Hi Chris,

Thank you SO MUCH for your comics that have enriched our lives and introduced us to a whole new perspective, or rather, to many new perspectives (sometimes several in the same page!). I'm a big fan since the Original Sonichu and Rosechu page.

A few suggestions, if I may:

- I really, really enjoyed the subepisodes and seeing more of the Adult Chronicles. I think they should be brought back to balance the intense action of Sonichu with some real life pathos and well thought out, written out storytelling.

- Any chance of bringing back [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|Sonichu and Rosechu's Love Shack]]? I really enjoyed that section and think it helped a lot with my understanding and enjoyment of romance and sexuality, from a fantasy perspective yet balanced with adult mindfulness and respect.

Thank you so much!

Brianna}}
{{quotebox|I am taking the life-story pieces suggestions inputed before and thinking about adding them back in the future. I may bring the Luv Shack back, in the form of a section ONLY for those 18 and older, but not right now.

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

===Sonichu live-action===
{{quoteboxred|I love your comics and I really enjoy the deep and varied story arcs you keeping going throughout all the comics (as well as the good old USA patriotism). And yesterday while reading some pages from your Adult Chronicles comic an idea hit me like a bolt of Sonichu Electricity! What about a live action Sonichu show using sonichu models and such, to be put on the YouTube for us fans to watch? I think that'd be brilliant!

Love the comics!

Scott}}
{{quotebox|THAT would take action figures and such, and I have yet to create such posable figures. But as soon as I have them figured, or I get in touch with a toy manufacturer, I'll do something ala "Robot Chicken" (Keep up that fun work, Seth Green; encourage Seth McFarline to do MORE than 20 seconds for you. I've counted it in that Road to "Multiverse"; that was Definitely 10 Seconds Short of Stewie's 30-second estimate; what a True Let-Down).

--[[User:ChrisChanSonichu|ChrisChanSonichu]] 02:15, 20 November 2009 (CET)}}

==Rejected Mailbag==
===Choose your own adventure===
{{quoteboxred|From: Howard Winslow <hwinslow3@gmail.com>
A friend of mine wrote some [[Fan:Choose Your Own Adventure|excellent fan stories]] I thought you'd like:

http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/stories.htm

Sincerely,

Howard Winslow}}

===Gay for Sonichu===
{{quoteboxred|From: Bernard Stephens <bernard.stephens@mail.mcgill.ca>
OMG!!!111
Love the comic!! Me and my boyfriend Mark listen to the audiobooks all the time! LUVS IT BABE!!

Have a safe day, and STAY STRAIG- er, I mean, STAY FABULOUS!!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Bernard and everyone else here at [[Gay 4 Sonichu|Gay4Sonichu]]
http://gay4sonichu.yuku.com/

love it!!!!! }}

===The gay black atheist fanbase===
{{quoteboxred|From: Thorgnzorrg Jenkins <thorgnzorrg@hotmail.com>
I love Sonichu but as a [[gay]], black atheist, I'm in somewhat of a minority. All of the black characters in Sonichu are either goofy or antagonistic, gay characters aren't shown in a good light, and as far as I can tell everyone in CWCville is a devout Christian. I love your comics and audiobooks, but they loose their appeal when I can't relate to any of the characters. Please consider including a gay, black, or atheist character in your comic.

Thank you.}}

===High praise for Liquid Chris===
{{quoteboxred|From: Steven Clark <ignotus@live.co.uk> 
I love your brown shirt and [[guitar]] skills you are so dreamy. keep up the good work! sonichu is the best DONT LET THAT [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]] GET YOU DOWN}}

===More high praise for Liquid Chris===
{{quoteboxred|From: [[Wikipedia:David Xanatos|xanatos]][[Wikipedia:Thanatos|van]]badass@aim.com 
Good to see you making the comics again! I hope you make to to keep them out of the hands of that naive fat bastard Ian Brandon Anderson so he won't slander your good name! P.S. I hope you and Kacey are living happily married lives.}}

===God damn that Liquid Chris guy is awesome===
{{quoteboxred|From: Jordan Wiebe <greenindirt@gmail.com>
Hello Christian,

I am glad that you finally managed to get recognition for your comics being yours and Ian Brandon Anderson being nothing but a fraud. Thankfully he's no longer in control of releasing your comics and you can continue to make great comics. Hope you wedding was wonderful and I'm glad that Ian didn't ruin that for you either. Nice job on the copyright.

Jordan Wiebe}}

{{Mailbag}}

Reggie Fils-Aimé

2010-06-12T17:38:00Z

Mbembe:

[[Image:Reginald Fils-Aime.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Reggie Fils-Aimé, He has come here to chew bubble gum and kick autistic ass...and he's all out of bubble gum]]
[[Image:ReggieAndChris.jpg|thumb|right|150px|Separated at birth?]]

'''Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aimé''' ''(pronounced fee-suh-may'', not fucking "Fills-Eye-Mez" as [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] says), is the president of [[Nintendo]] America and colleague of [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]. He is also an objector of "true love" according to Mr. Chandler.

Currently not speaking to Mr. Chandler after Chris stood up Shigeru Miyamoto at a meeting to produce a [[Sonichu]] game for the US (as [[Jimmy Hill]] Owns European and Japanese gaming rights). Chris threatened to take Reggie and Shigeru to [[Charlottesville]] court for causing butthurt in his lack of response, before going back on his word and BAWWWWing to them in an apology video.

Reggie's next video game, [[Kick the Autistic]] will be released for the Wii and DS in time for Christmas.

Mr. Fils-Aimé is a light-skinned [[niggo]] whose parents were born in Haiti, proving that Chris will abandon his [[racism]] for the promise of fame.

==Fil Aime Saga==
{{quoteboxred|
'''Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America''' from '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''' to '''Chris''' on 28 [[January 2009]] 1:16 AM
----

But right now, I'm just strictly Reggie. I'm not going to even bother sending this through my Nintendo email address. Because you know what? This isn't business. This is strictly personal. I have something to say to you, and you need to listen. This has nothing to do with Nintendo right now, this is just me and you. Mano e mano. Man to man. I don't normally do this, but hell, I just need to get this off my chest.

If you don't know who I am, then allow me to introduce myself. My name is Reggie Fils-Aime. I've been kicking ass and taking names ever since the E3 expo at 2004 where I made my debut, where from then on I eventually earned my position as president of this company.

I'm known to be a loud mouth. I don't take crap from anyone. So if you are easily offended, I suggest you stop reading. But don't worry, I'll try to go easy on you, key word being "try" here.

But with that out of the way, I just want to say something to you personally.

May I kindly ask, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you for real or what? I was there for everything. I saw Miyamoto waiting for up to 2 days in the bitter cold for you to show up and you stood him up. I was even there trying to arrange everything for you, even setting up someone to escort you to our building complete with bodyguards and full security because I knew you were concerned about safety. And for what? So you could just NOT show up? I mean, I don't even know what to think, it's just completely unbelievable.

I'm sorry but it just is. I heard what you said to Mr Miyamoto too, your reasons for not coming. And I just have to say. How old are you? You're 27, if I'm not mistaken right?

27! I mean, think about it, you are almost 30! What is a man of your age still doing being coddled by his parents? Let me tell you, when I was about your age, I was already married and had children!

Your autism isn't an excuse either. I've raised a son with autism who is far worse functioning than you are and he can easily make his own decisions. The only thing I see here is a person who is not only lazy and makes excuses, but cannot even take charge of his own life.

That right there is what made it pretty clear that there is no chance in hell you're going to get anywhere with this project. Nevermind the fact that your parents didn't want you to go (or that you still have to get your parents permission at your age).

Think about what happened if you did go, and you had to ask mommy and daddy for an OK on everything? Imagine what a complete disaster that would be. I mean, listen. Simply put, you are not fit to do business with us as you are not even in a position where you can make your own decisions, which is vital to survive in the workplace, and even life in general.

I mean, seriously, who the hell were we talking to? I don't know about you. But this deal was about Nintendo and you. This was not the deal between Nintendo and the parents of Christian Weston Chandler.

I'm sorry, but provided that this whole thing you pulled on us wasn't an elaborate prank, this project was doomed from the start. It's just completely ridiculous. It is impossible for anyone to do business with someone who still has to rely on their parents to make their decisions.

Right now, I don't see how anything good could come from any of this. The only way I could even see this going anywhere is if you were to somehow learn to become independent, like a person of your age should be, and try to do something so that you don't rely on your parents to decide things for you.

But I don't see that happening ever in the near future (nor is it really my job to even have to tell you this). And because of that, I don't see how you'll ever be able to do business with us.

And you know what? I'll just leave it at that. Also, forget recieving a letter from us (and for what? So your parents can read it out loud to you? For Christ sake). This whole thing is through.

Our company will gladly deal with people who are up to the task. But we cannot waste valuable time and money on children who have no means of actually doing their part (their part, as in not their parents but "their part") to cooeprate with us.

Sorry for the rant, but you've wasted so much of our time, money and effort that I had to personally do what I'm known for, and that is kicking ass and taking names.

I always tell it like it is, and I'll be damned if I ever change that. So consider this as the final notice, this whole thing is through. It was through as soon as you made it clear that you are not mature enough to do business with us.

Other than that, I have nothing more to add. Please feel free to complain about me not being professional, I get that all the time. But nobody ever doubts my ability to tell people the things they need to hear. And what I just told you is nothing but that.

Sincerely,

The man who has been kicking ass and taking names since 2004.

Reggie Fils-Aime
 President
 Nintendo of America
}}
{{quotebox|Re: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America

I see your point, Reggie, but YOU DID NOT HAVE TO CANCEL THE PROJECT INDEFINITELY! I mean, after I get things settled on my end, and when I have the funds to make the trip to Redmond, it would feel much beneficial to me to know that the Window is still OPEN for me. What I'm hearing here is that you've CLOSED the Window and sealed it with Concrete!

I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT!

I apologize for coming off strong, but the objectionable feeling is True to me at the moment, and I would appreciate it if you would Re-Open the Window for me, and UNSEAL the Window, so I can still have the opportunity open for me. I will need a financial setting with a good job for when I have my family and individuality set, and I personally feel it BEST if I still had the opportunity to Work with Nintendo and Sega to bring my Sonichu and Rosechu to life in the Video Game World.

Please let me know that this Same Window of Opportunity will remain open for me. And if it helps better my case, I recently won a 400 dollar Gamestop Gift Card from the Guitar Hero Be A Star Sweepstakes and received it in the FedEx; I spent 3/4 of the card on my Church's Congregation, and those who requested a game from the card; the Majority of them asked for Wii Titles; Two asked for WiiMusic, and one of those two also got a copy of Animal Crossing City Folk With the WiiSpeak. And I ended using the rest for myself on Super Mario Galaxy, WiiMusic, LoZ: Twilight Princess, Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity, ALL FOR NINTENDO Wii, and a WiiSpeak. And I still have a HEAVY Positive and Loyal Sonichu and Rosechu Fanbase; You All at Nintendo will STILL be able to Gain More Money off of my Sonichu and Rosechu, especially when in the near future I will be most capable of flying to Redmond, meet with you and Mr. Miyamoto, and get this "Mario Party" Started.

Please reply with your contact information, including phone number, so I can contact you in the near future, when I TRULY WILL be ready. My Mind is SET on this, and I feel I can be Ready as early as the end of 2009. You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu

The LAST thing I need to feel is feeling like I've been Left within a tiny piece of shelfspace to collect dust and be forgotten.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: One last thing

I still would deeply appreciate a document of the past business words, aggrements and all that from between me, Mr. Miyamoto and you, Reggie, snail-mailed to my home address I've previously provided to you, for my personal records and future references, Please.

Peace,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|RE: One last thing

It's not going to happen, pal. This is final. Don't take this personally.}}

-----

{{quoteboxred|RE: Hi, it's me Reggie. President of Nintendo of America

We're not interested in your project. I've seen the powerpoint. Apart from the fact that you are unable to manage for yourself, the powerpoint really was the final straw. It was filled with gratuitous and shameless drawings with every other frame showing some form of partial nudity or characters making out with each other.

I cannot even fathom how you managed to think that would be a good idea.

Not only that, you keep mentioning Sony, which you should know is the bitter rival of Nintendo and our mortal enemy. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but in every presentation I have given, whenever I mention kicking some behind, it's always directed to Sony. If you knew anything about our company, that would have been completely obvious.

But those are all moot points compared to the fact that you have demonstrated that you are not cut out for this kind of work and that your actions and mode of behavior would be a total liability for our company.

This decision is final. We are not going to do business with you and that is all. Sort out your own life. We cannot help you.

This is it. Do not email me or beg me for anything else. This is final. I cannot stress that enough. And if you do email me again, I will just repeat myself over and over. This whole thing is over. Goodbye.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

----

{{quoteboxred|RE: Please DO NOT Pigeonhole Me or Sonichu

Actually I think it's for the better. Maybe you can learn something out of this whole exchange.

But other than that, there is nothing more I can say or do for you. I'd appreciate it if you stopped emailing me now and maybe instead took some time to reflect on how this went wrong on your part. But this whole thing is finalized and done, and I cannot help you nor do I have the time to keep sending you emails when we have no official business with each other.}}

----

{{quotebox|Subject: "Reply to your Reply"

Let me just say a few more things, and then I'll stop e-mailing you for a long while. There was Positively NO NUDITY at all in the Powerpoint Presentation. And What the heck is WRONG with True Love and Kissing? [[Christian Weston Chandler|Are you a Virgin yourself? Have you had a BUNCH of Bad Dates? Or are you soo Closed-Minded and Rednecked?]] I gave you respect after seeing you in that video on my Wii, yet you tell me that True Love is WRONG? You are just as bad or WORSE than the Real-Life Mary Lee Walsh, or as she is known as in the Comics now, Slaweel Ryam.

I pity you if you've had your share of Bad Luck in True Love, yet at this point, you have just Lost My Respect.

True Love is a Truly Sacred Bond between WOMAN and MAN, and when they are together, they get attracted to each other very much to Kiss and later Make Love. GOD and JESUS WANTS US ALL TO EXPERIENCE and SHARE True, Straight LOVE! THERE IS NOTHING OBJECTIONABLE FROM THAT! I am a man who stand for True Love and Honesty, in comics AND in Real Life, although I am still a Frustrated Virgin with Autisim on the side. AT LEAST I AM MAKING A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING TRUE LOVE BETWEEN ONLY WOMAN AND MAN IN MY ACTIONS. On a Side-Note, I DESPISE ALL HOMOSEXUAL MALES, PERIOD!

ALSO, I BET YOU PROBABLY SMOKE AND DRINK, don't you? I SPEAK AGAINST THOSE AS WELL SINCE THEY ARE TOOLS TO SPEED YOU TO DEATH WITH CANCER, LIVER PROBLEMS, BAR FIGHTS AND AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS. GIVE UP THE HABITS! THEY ARE BEYOND GROSS AND DISGUSTING!

<nowiki>*sigh*</nowiki>

Forgive me for raising my voice very loudly, but to ENCOURAGE the True, Straight Love that you obviously OBJECT, I felt it was Required and Necessary. I can be a "Resetti" too, Mr. Resetti.

Peace-Out,
Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|There wasn't. I never said there was. You assume too much and are way too paranoid about things, this is why I don't want to deal with you. Imagine if you were to flip out on someone while in the workplace like this? It'd be a complete PR disaster.

But I never said nudity or implied anything about your characters sexual preferences.

What I was referring to what the panty shot of Rosechu in one of the first frames. Then you show two characters in bed making love to each other.

Just what the hell kind of game did you want Nintendo to make?

Nintendo has always been in the business of making games for the whole family. That includes children. That is why you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you've shown that you're unable to do so.

Your mind seems too wired on other things. Your head seems to be in the clouds and you don't even know the first thing about being appropriate or tasteful. Did you think this game proposal would even be able to pass through the ESRB?

You know nothing about how the industry works. About things such as company reputation, age appropriate content or content that won't get shot down by the ESRB (look at the whole "Hot Coffee" GTA scandal for example). You just think you can do whatever you want and hope it flies.

Also from what I recall, you sent drawn pornography drawn in colored pencil/marker to Mr. Miyamoto TWICE. Imagine if you did this to someone in a business situation. Do you want me to hire you when you are such a loose cannon?

It's not possible. I can't risk having such a huge liability. And in fact, your behavior is the reason I've decided to remove you indefinitely from Nintendo, and I hope that someday you get your act together (which I don't see happening any time soon).

But until then, this project is over and gone for good. If anything was the last straw, it was this email. I don't have time to fight with you, you are completely unstable, irresponsible and the kind of person who would probably flip out or even hurt someone if he were to put in the workplace.

I'm glad you made that video and cleared everything up. But now, just leave me alone. I'm not going to even bother replying back after this, or if you keep this up.

Also, by the way. You didn't spell your name right at the end of the power point. You wrote it as "ChriSTAIN." That would be grounds for any potential employer to not hire someone. In addition to the behavior you've just displayed and the type of proposal you tried to make, the last thing we need is someone who can't even spell his own name.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

----

{{quotebox|Well, the game would not Constantly revolve around the Background Romance; it's called a "Happy Ending".

Christian Weston Chandler.}}

----

{{quoteboxred|It's not something you show in a business proposal. There is a time and place for everything. But I don't understand why I have to tell this to you.

Either way, it's all over now and I don't want to deal with you anymore. I hope that someday someone takes you to seek consoling or behavioral therapy, and that you someday are able to manage on your own, because I don't have time to listen or try to help you as that is not my job.

Please leave me alone and I hope for the best.

Sincerely,
Reggie Fils-Aime}}

==See also==

* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009]]
* [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]]
* [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Reggie Fils-Aime|Wikipedia article on Reggie Fils-Aimé]]

{{People}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

Son-Chu

2010-06-12T17:21:33Z

Mbembe: /* Handicap parking permit */ -proofreading fail

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].
Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on [[Little Big Planet|more important]] [[McDonalds|things]] [[Guitar Hero|to spend his money on]], despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent [http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp renewals]. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their [[fat]] lazy asses can't b bothered to walk more than a few yards.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading UN4EVER (apparently a support for the UN) and IB MR C (I be Mr. C, as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named B WESTON (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity_plate#North_America</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both Sonic and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". We are sure that they [[Lie|appreciate]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|his]] [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Car Pranks]]
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Son-Chu

2010-06-12T17:20:08Z

Mbembe: /* Handicap parking permit */

{{taxpayermoney}}
[[Image:Chrischanscar.jpg|thumb|200px|When you see it, you'll ZAP TO THE EXTREME!]]
[[Image:License.jpg|Much like James Bond, Chris also has a [[6 June 2010|license to kill]] (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)|thumb]]
'''Son-Chu''' (aka '''The Sonichu Mobile''') is Chris's [[1994]] [[Wikipedia:Ford Escort (North America)|Ford Escort]] [[Wikipedia:Station wagon|station wagon]].

While Chris, to put it mildly, obviously suffers from multiple ''disconcerting'' issues which are listed [[My Little Pony|elsewhere]] in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a [[Sonichu Special 4|motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault]]. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris drives a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic [[fail]].
Chris did not save up his [[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] for a vehicle, deciding on [[Little Big Planet|more important]] [[McDonalds|things]] [[Guitar Hero|to spend his money on]], despite the fact that sometimes a nice car equals [[china]]. Son-Chu is his mother, [[Barbara]]'s car.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

Unsurprisingly, Chris's parents pay for his gas.<ref>[[Mumble 10#Summary|Mumble 10]]</ref>

==Backstory==
Since Chris jerks off to [[Transformers]], he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car."<ref>http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Son-Chu</ref> From the [[CWCipedia]]:

{{quotebox|My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise.

Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword.

**Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.
}}

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

==Handicap parking permit==
Being [[Autism|a high functioning autistic male]], Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick [http://www.google.com/search?q=autism+disability+parking&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a Google search] on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or [[tard rage]] in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent [http://www.dmv.state.va.us/webdoc/citizen/disability/renewal.asp renewals]. Given this, it's likely that [[Barb]] applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family have kept the permit so long because their [[fat]] lazy asses can't b bothered to walk more than a few yards.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. ''Duh.''

==Dashboard==
A Homer Simpson figurine resides on Chris's dashboard. There also appears to be a Sonichu-related item, possibly a paper cutout stuck to an air freshener ([[Chris and health#Hygiene|to mask the hobo stank]]), hanging from his rear-view mirror. Interesting to note is that [http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+46.2-1054 Virginia law prohibits the suspension of distracting or view-obstructing objects from the rear-view mirror of a car], a fact which most Virginia driver's-ed programs make very clear.

==Vanity plate==

The [[Wikipedia:Vanity plate|plate]] reads "[[Sonichu (character)|SONICHU]]," thus ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. This habit of having a family plate stems from family. [[Bob]] has a vanity plate reading UN4EVER (apparently a support for the UN) and IB MR C (I be Mr. C, as in [[IBAChandler|I be Mr. Chandler]]) and [[Barb]] has one named B WESTON (as in Barbara Weston){{cite}}. It may be worth noting that Virginia has the highest vanity plate registration rate of any U.S. state, so Chris's family may simply be following a cultural norm.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanity_plate#North_America</ref>

Chris's plate is fashionably overlaid with a "[[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PIEDMONT VA CC]]" frame.

==Bumper stickers==
Chris's car features a number of ancient and faded bumper stickers. Odds are they were applied when he first received the car, and have been rotting on the bumper ever since. Bumper stickers have long been regarded as a means to relay one's ill-informed world-views and prominently display meaningless platitudes for the public view. Chris's choice in stickers is a prime example of typical bumper sticker fare.

From left to right:

* Sonichu window static - A nearly invisible, transparent overlay in the back window of Chris's car. Most of the text is too faded to decipher, but it contains the URL for the old tripod website, what appears to be a faded drawing of the disembodied heads of both Sonic and Sonichu, and a very faint rendering of the Sonichu title text. They seem similar to the [[:File:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|ads in]] [[:File:163-cwcsonstecrdver2.jpg|scrapbook]], but the logo is on the other side and the URL is bigger.
* [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] - A round red sticker. The remnants of Chris's ill-fated and ultimately useless attendance of the local community college.
* Plan 9 Music - A bumper sticker for a local record shop where Chris probably gets his [[Chris and music|used Britney Spears]] from.
* An American Flag - Incredibly faded and neglected. Text underneath the flag reads "United We Stand". Probably added in 2001, during a [[Twin Falling Towers|frenzy of patriotism]].
* "Autism. Work For A Cure" - As always, Chris feels the need to advertise his disability to the world. The sticker is a paragon of failure. How is "Autism" a sentence? Do you think it can be "Cured" rather than treated? What are you doing to "Work For A Cure"? Why is "A" capitalized?
* "Come Play With Me!" - Currently, the most disturbing thing Chris has on his car. It is an advertisement for "[[The GAMe PLACe]]". We are sure that they [[Lie|appreciate]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|his]] [[6 June 2010|endorsement]].
* ???? - There are the completely faded and torn remnants of a sticker located on the center of Chris's bumper. It is unknown what resided there.

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
Image:Son-ChuVehicle.jpg|Side profile of the car. [[Honor roll]] my ass.
Image:0655-CWCsSonichuLicense.JPG|The vanity plate, IRL (notice the [[autism]] and [[The GAMe PLACe]] bumper stickers along with a [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]] license plate frame).
Image:VanityPlateComic.jpg|The vanity plate, as seen from the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]]
Image:Son-ChuBot.jpg|The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.
Image:Playstation Patrol W CWC's Car.JPG| Chris parks his car outside of his version of [[PS3| Mecca]].
</gallery>
</center>

==Sauces==
<references/>

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}
*[[Car Pranks]]
*[[Hot Wheels]]

{{Relics of Fail}}

[[Category:Relics of Fail]]
[[Category:Transformers]]