CWCki - User contributions [en]

File:Timeline.png

2011-08-08T20:15:39Z

Meat Miracle: Updated

File:Timeline.png

2011-08-08T20:14:38Z

Meat Miracle: uploaded a new version of "File:Timeline.png": Updated to current

Disguises

2010-12-18T21:19:07Z

Meat Miracle: Undo revision 129893 by Canine (talk) no you don't.

In addition to his many other talents, [[Christian Weston Chandler]] is also a Master of Disguise. Over the years, our hero has fooled the [[The Miscreants|evil trolls]] time and time again with his cunning '''disguises'''.

==Chris's Disguises==

===Junior Jenkins (a.k.a. JenkinsJinkies)===
[[Image:Fatjenkins.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I am not a pussy; I am as wild as a serial raper.|Super Troll JenkinsJinkies (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}
The 14 year-old "black sheep of the family", [[User talk:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] infiltrated the Trolls' Secret Base of Operations by creating the famous [[Burger King]] article. He quickly rose through the Troll Ranks after revealing his backstory, homosexual experiences, and like all Trolls, his true hatred of [[Autistic]] individuals. He even moved into a house across the street from the Chandlers and witnessed many of their disturbing activities. Believe it or not, the masked man you see in the photo to the left is NOT in fact a [[BlueSpike|14 year-old boy]].
 

===Bill Riley===
[[Image:BillRiley.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|You know what we should do, we should make him force himself on his counslor [sic]|Novice Troll Bill Riley (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}
Bill was a 30 year-old man with a five inch cock and a "small sack, LOTS OF CUM". Bill hated Chris because he "Killed [[Clyde]]", called him a homo and even sent him a virus to take down his computer. To get revenge on the devious fat bastard, [[IRC (23 July 2009)|Bill entered a Secret Troll Chat]] and tried to set "Operation: Rape [[Rocky]]" into motion.
 

===The Real Chris Chandler===
[[Image:Liquidd.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I'm just gonna keep bangin' your breasts over and over again until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!|The [[Liquid Chris|Real Chris]] (NOT [[Solid Chris|CHRIS]])}}
[[Ian|Chris]] attempted to steal another man's girlfriend by pretending to be [[Liquid Chris|The Real Christian Weston Chandler]]. The girlfriend, [[Kacey]], [[Kacey Phone Call|spoke to Chris over the phone]] and was fooled by Chris's flawless impersonation of her handsome lover. Chris also uploaded [[For Kacey from CWC|a video for her]] where he cleverly used lighting and trick photography to hide his true identity. Fortunately for Kacey, Chris decided to reveal the truth before he had a chance to tie her up and lick his semen off her chest.
 

===Samantha Thaddeus===
[[Image:Samthad.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|I gotta do some grocery shopping, Plus I'm having a few cramps|Teenage Girl Samantha Thaddeus (NOT [[Chris|CHRIS]])}}
Because Chris has a great understanding of women, his convincing impression of the young woman [[Samantha Thaddeus]] was able to fool both [[Jack Thaddeus E-mails Part 2|her father]] and [[Katie Bay E-mails|her best gal-pal]].
 

===Carlos Chantor===
[[Image:Chantor.jpg|left|thumb]]
{{quote|Experienced for Her Pleasure.|Sexual Master [[Carlos Chantor|Carlos Chantor]] (NOT [[Virgin|CHRIS]])}}
This handsome bachelor offered his sexual and emotional services to [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]]s all over [[Ruckersville]]. Eventually he was forced into early retirement due to the stress caused by the heavy overflow of incoming [[China]].
 

{{stub}}

Template:ListOfVideos/Jul-Dec2009

2010-11-30T03:32:50Z

Meat Miracle: /* July 2009 */ why are these August and not July

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">__TOC__</div>

==July 2009==

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009]]''' {{RedShirt}} Chris denies that he was responsible for the untimely death of CWCville Mayor [[BILLY MAYS]]. He also mentions that he's continuing his Love Quest and that he will finish the long-awaited Sonichu Comic.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009]]''' {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris dispels myths that he has a Death Note. He also goes on a bit more on how he didn't kill Billy Mays, and that he shouldn't be considered a scapegoat.

* '''[[The July 10th Messages]]''' ''10 [[July 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{RefereeShirt}} Chris calls out three people, insulting them and spitting out death threats. These videos would lead to Chris' then-current YouTube account to be shut down.

* '''[[A near public apology]]''' ''11 [[July 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{RedShirt}} Chris NEARLY apologizes for the last videos.

* '''[[Rollin' and Trollin']]''' ''17 [[July 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{TrollinShirt}} Chris gives a tour of CWCville, then proclaims that he has been trolling everyone from the start. This would lead to the appearance of [[Liquid Chris]].

* '''[[CWC Trollin More]]''' ''19 [[July 2009]]'' {{Comedy}} {{RedShirt2}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris proclaims that he is, indeed, a fat, jobless, slob of a manchild.

* '''[[REAL Protest against the FAKE]]''' ''22 [[July 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{BlueTShirt}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris protests the beloved YouTube Chris-chan impersonator, CChanSonichuCWC.

*'''[[Do Not Dis C Ville]]''' ''23 [[July 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShortSleeve}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris equates the purely fictional CWCville with the real Charlottesville, presumably because they both start with a "C," and declares that impugning one is to impugn the other.

* '''[[It's UGH!]]''' - ''24 [[July 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{Music}} {{BrownLogoShirt2}} Chris sings "It's Okay To Be Gay".

* '''[[Cwc dare]]''' - ''24 [[July 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{Music}} {{RedBlackTrim}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris sings Stan Bush's "Dare".

* '''[[Chris humps his PS3]]''' ''24 [[July 2009]]'' {{Sex}} {{Comedy}} {{BlueTShirt}} {{Leaked}} Chris humps his PS3 for 8 minutes.

* '''[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]''' ''25 [[July 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{BlueTShirt}} Chris sings his own version of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend".

* '''[[I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands Or Buts]]''' - ''26 [[July 2009]]'' {{Comics}} {{Liquid}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris attempts to prove that he, not Liquid Chris, is the real Christian Weston Chandler.

* '''[[CWC More Than A Feeling]]''' ''29 [[July 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{RedStripeShirt}} Chris "Guitar Hero"'s to "More Than A Feeling".

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009]]''' {{RedShirt2}} {{DenimJacket}} In this video Chris explains that he is a troll trolling trolls.

*'''[[That Goatee WILL Grow Back]]''' ''31 [[July 2009]]'' {{Crazy}} {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris shaves his goatee off on camera.

*'''[[SingStar Challenge|SingStar Challenge Announcement]]''' ''31 [[July 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris outlines the rules of the SingStar Challenge.

*'''[[SingStar Challenge Round 1]]''' ''31 [[July 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris sings "Sonic Boom" from the Sonic the Hedgehog CD and addresses accusations of cheating, while Liquid Chris sings "You're Pitiful" by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

==August 2009==

*'''[[SingStar Challenge Round 2]]''' ''1 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{ParappaShirt}} Chris sings "Don't Say You Love Me" by M2M, while Liquid Chris sings "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" by Will Smith; Chris accuses Liquid of ad-libbing based solely on the video title.

*'''[[SingStar Challenge Round 3]]''' ''3 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{GreenWhiteShirt}} Chris sings "Autumn Goodbye" by Britney Spears, while Liquid Chris sings "Heaven" by Bryan Adams; Chris tries to use his high school yearbook to prove his identity.

* '''[[C.W.C. - Thank You :)]]''' ''3 [[August 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris comes upon a "revelation" concerning why he is trolled.

* '''[[Exposing Jeff]]''' ''4 [[August 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris reveals Liquid Chris's "real name."

*'''[[CWC - Hand Drawn Original]]''' ''4 [[August 2009]]'' {{Comics}} {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris attempts to prove his identity by recording himself drawing like a four-year-old.

*'''[[SingStar Challenge Round 4]]''' ''4 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris sings "The Touch" by Stan Bush, while Liquid Chris sings "Think Twice" by Eve 6; both contestants announce their rival's songs for the final round.

*'''[[For Kacey from CWC]]''' ''4 [[August 2009]]'' {{Sex}} {{Liquid}} Chris pretends to be Liquid Chris in order to get [[china]] from Kacey.

*'''[[SingStar Challenge Round 5]]''' ''5 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{BrownLogoShirt}} Chris sings "Can I Smell Yo Dick?" by Riskay, and replaces "dick" with the word "[[duck]]," and Liquid Chris makes him sing it again. Liquid sings "Lift your Eyes" by the Planetshakers.

* '''[[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]]''' ''6 [[August 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{Liquid}} {{JokerShirt}} Chris demands that Liquid Chris sing the full-length of the final song and tells people he is not "Ian Brandon SOMETHING!"

* '''[[CCWC's Final Warning to the Second CWC]]''' ''9 [[August 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Liquid}} {{RedShirt}} Chris tells Liquid Chris to stand down or he would call the police for "stealing" his identity.

* '''[[LOOK at the truth!]]''' ''10 [[August 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{RedShirt}} Chris uses his old artwork to prove he is the real CWC.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009]]''' {{Fanart}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris expresses his disgust about the recent wave of fanart sent to him.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009]]''' {{Liquid}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris addresses the current state of the SingStar Challenge competition, declaring it, as of this date, currently ongoing.

*'''[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]''' ''14 [[August 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Liquid}} {{RedBlackTrim}} Chris drops his dox and warns viewers not to buy Liquid Chris's merchandise.

* '''[[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!]]''' ''14 [[August 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{Liquid}} {{RedBlackTrim}} When Liquid Chris declares himself the winner of the SingStar Challenge, moving on to make Sonichu into a multimedia franchise and marrying his girl friend, Chris blows his lid.

*'''[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]''' ''15 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{Liquid}} {{CreepyRobe}} Chris backpedals on the purpose of the SingStar Challenge.

* '''[[Guitar Rock Hero Band Revolution Notes]]''' ''16 [[August 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{Liquid}} {{RedShirt2}}{{DenimJacket}} Chris speaks about his opinions of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and addresses the kidnapping of CChanSonichuCWC.

*'''[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]''' ''16 [[August 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{RedShirt2}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris preforms a Forgiveness Blessings on Liquid Chris.

*'''[[CWC Fighter]]''' ''18 [[August 2009]]'' {{Crazy}} {{RedShirt2}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris does an interpretive dance that he mistakes for martial arts skills.

* '''[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]''' ''18 [[August 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{RedShirt2}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris deals out some Forgiveness Blessings and [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]]s.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009]]''' {{Comics}} {{Website}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris announces his DeviantArt account as an alternative site for viewing his comic pages during the outage of Cwcipedia. He also claims that trolls are assuming his identity in attempts to trick various "companies," and that this will not succeed.

* '''[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]''' ''22 [[August 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris sings Aretha Franklin's "Respect," demanding people not only respect him but also praise him.

* '''[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]''' - ''27 [[August 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{GreenBlackTrim}} Chris demands that the videos of his house he put up just five months earlier be taken down or he's in trouble. In the uncut version, [[Bob Chandler]] makes an appearance, revealing why he wants the videos down.

* '''[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]''' - ''29 [[August 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{SeaGreenPolo}} Chris proclaims himself a hypocrite as he vows that the trolls will go to Hell for mocking him, along with the homos.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009]]''' {{RefereeShirt}} Christian Weston Chandler claims to have not received any boxes from the USPS or UPS. He then goes on to prove he's completely insane by taking on a second personality: Christopher.

==September 2009==

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009]]''' {{Rage}} {{BlueThinStriped}} Chris thanks Vivian for his father's birthday present and also shows his displeasure at Vivian wanting to put the audiobooks on DVD and sell them, demanding that she remove all the videos and shut down her account before she can regain his respect again.

* '''[[Sign Destruction Video]]''' - ''6 [[September 2009]]'' {{Violence}} {{Rage}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris shows his displeasure at Vivian's refusal to remove the videos by destroying the sign that was put on his front yard months earlier.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 10th, 2009]]''' {{Video games}} {{RedShirt2}} Chris utterly dismisses a possible interview with Veronica Belmont of Playstation Magazine Europe as a troll, continuing to display his utter paranoia and control over what he wants to do and how he wants it.

* '''[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]''' - ''13 [[September 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{RedPokeShirt}} Chris proclaims that Sega's Project Needlemouse game is NOT a Sonichu game.

* '''[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]''' - ''16 [[September 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Clyde}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris wants his fans to call the cops on Clyde Cash, who he thinks is also Gregg Mays AND an elementary school kid!

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009]]''' {{RefereeShirt}} Chris addresses a troll who is selling fake Sonichu merchandise.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 25th, 2009]]''' {{WhiteBlackTrimShirt}} Chris addresses fake websites and unofficial Sonichu merchandise.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009]]''' {{Clyde}} {{WhiteTShirt}} Chris claims to have a "Director's Cut" version of his DVD. He also claims Gregg Mays and Clyde Cash to be one and the same.

==October 2009==

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2009]]''' {{VertRedShirt}} Chris states that Barbara does not have AIDS, that he is straight, and that the trolls should grow up.

* '''[[Warning - Naughty Women ;)]]''' ''10 [[October 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris tries to use his drawing of himself having sex with three women as evidence against allegations that he's a homosexual.

*'''[[Challenge for Clyde]]''' ''11 [[October 2009]]'' {{Violence}} {{Rage}} {{Clyde}} {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Christian calls out Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash for torturing his friends, then attempts to demonstrate how good of a fighter he is by punching a book, and then his own face.

* '''[[Chris Loses It]]''' ''12 [[October 2009]]'' {{Power}} {{Crazy}} {{DarkRedShirt}} {{Clyde}} A bizarre video in which Chris shouts to himself in the darkness, falls off a chair, and throws things at his camera.

* '''[[Challenge for Clyde II]]''' ''14 [[October 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Clyde}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris tells Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays to come out of hiding and fight him man-to-man.

* '''[[War Paint Video]]''' ''14 [[October 2009]]'' {{Racism}} {{Violence}} {{Crazy}} {{WhiteTShirt}} Chris unburies the <del>tomahawk</del> toy gun he used to shoot at the Adam Stackhouse photo, and calls a war-curse upon the trolls through his alleged Cherokee ancestry.

* '''[[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009]]''' {{Liquid}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris makes note of the return of [[CChanSonichuCWC]] to YouTube after being kidnapped and abandoned in the Sahara Desert.

* '''[[Old Time Rock and Roll on Shredwud]]''' ''17 [[October 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris playing Guitar Hero on an expensive flat TV. On easy.

* '''[[Brutal Legend]]''' ''18 [[October 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris ''presumably'' plugs ''Brütal Legend''. We have no way of knowing, as the video has no sound.

* '''[[Brutal Legend Plus]]''' ''21 [[October 2009]]'' {{Comedy}} {{Video games}} {{Liquid}} {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Chris uploads another version of the previous video with sound this time, albeit with several skips due to [[PSEye]] neglect. He does indeed plug the game ''Brütal Legend'' and also takes a moment to hypocritically ridicule [[trolls]].

* '''[[For Chris]]''' ''22 [[October 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris, still seriously suffering from crappywebcamitis, lists a whole bunch of adjectives that don't really describe him.

* '''[[I Love You Kacey]]''' ''23 [[October 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Liquid}} {{VertRedGreenShirt}} Thinking he may still have a chance at banging Liquid's girlfriend (after duping her in an attempt to get laid), Chris pours his heart out to her. Being the unselfish gentleman that he is, he also gives her express permission to date whoever she wants.

* '''[[10242009]]''' {{Rage}} {{Clyde}} {{VertRedGreenShirt}} Chris delivers a brief message to Gregg Mays to let him know he is not scared of him.

* '''[[For Kacey II]]''' ''25 [[October 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Liquid}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris belches out-er-belts out another confession of love for <s>[[Kacey]]</s> possible [[china]].

* '''[[To Clyde Gregg]]''' ''27 [[October 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris declares his intentions to blackmail Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash by making threats to post a video that shows his real face.

* '''[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]]''' ''27 [[October 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} The first blackmail attempt towards Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash, which contains a picture of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes with the head of some white guy plastered on. Chris makes some dubious claims that the head in question belongs to Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash.

* '''[[For Chris II]]''' ''27 [[October 2009]]'' {{Reason}} {{Liquid}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris tells Liquid Chris to "Back away from Kacey" and threatens to throw a hissy fit if his request is not obliged.

* '''[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]]''' ''28 [[October 2009]]'' {{Comedy}} {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} The second blackmail attempt towards Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash, which contains a picture of two drunk and lightly dressed women on top of each other. The one on the bottom has the head of a man in a Spider-Man mask plastered over her own. Chris claim this to be Gregg/Clyde's friend, Matt. That Chris is subtly (although it comes across as rather ham-handed) trying to make Gregg/Clyde look like a homo becomes clear.

* '''[[SHE IS MINE NOW]]''' ''29 [[October 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Liquid}} {{TanWideLines}} With Aerosmith playing in the background, Chris raps (or makes an attempt to) and declares that Kacey is now his, and that he has defeated Liquid Chris.

* '''[[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]''' ''30 [[October 2009]]'' {{Power}} {{Comedy}} {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} The third blackmail attempt towards Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash, in which Chris calls Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash weak and reveals more of the picture he claims is of him. Chris manages to instantly thwart his own attempt to portray Gregg/Clyde as weak and gay by showing pictures of himself flexing his non-biceps while wearing his sports bra, which he calls a "[[muscle bra]]". And just to top it off, Chris says that more men should wear these "muscle bras".

* '''[[30 Push-Ups]]''' ''30 [[October 2009]]'' {{Power}} {{BlueTShirt}} Chris attempts to do pushups while wearing his sports bra, and, unsurprisingly, he fails.

* '''[[Getting Foam Ed]]''' ''31 [[October 2009]]'' {{Comedy}} {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} The fourth blackmail attempt towards Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash, in which Chris reveals even more of the picture of the white guy and the gay Spider-Man which he insists is of Gregg Mays/Clyde Cash and Matt. Chris also claims that Gregg/Clyde has an urine fetish.

* '''[[My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey]]''' ''31 [[October 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} Once again Chris tries to pose as Liquid Chris, this time by horribly mangling the song "A Whole New World" from the Disney version of Aladdin in response to one of Kacey's videos.

* '''[[Greetings to Kacey's folks]]''' ''31 [[October 2009]]'' {{Liquid}} {{TanWideLines}} Chris addresses Kacey's parents and tries to portray himself as decent human being. In true Chris style, he does this by spewing a whole lot of bullshit and lies about himself.

==November 2009==

* '''[[I AM STRONG]]''' - 1 [[November 2009]] {{Power}} {{Clyde}} {{BlueLogoShirt}} Chris once again reiterates he is "strong." He attempts to flex, grunts a lot, and talks in a "deep" voice, and claims Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays is weak.

* '''[[Twin Falling Towers]]''' - ''1 [[November 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} Chris 'shops the gay Spider-Man image over an image of the World Trade Center and mocks the terror attacks of 9/11 in a revolting attempt to blackmail Clyde Cash. Chris came up with this idea on his own.

* '''[[It Will Never End]]''' - ''1 [[November 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} In yet another entry in the Clyde Cash/Gregg Mays blackmail attempts, Chris reveals a large section of blank wall as well as the faces of the participants. He then claims these videos will never end, and flips off the camera.

* '''[[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]''' - ''2 [[November 2009]]'' {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} Chris makes a self-serving apology for the 9/11 joke and reuses the image in a slightly altered form in another threat against Clyde.

* '''[[Rescuing Kacey From Christian W Chandler]]''' - ''3 [[November 2009]]'' {{Sex}} {{Video games}} {{Liquid}} {{RedStripeShirt}} {{Direct Feed}} Chris talks about the making of his Little Big Planet level for Kacey, kisses the camera, and plays through the ironically-titled Little Big Planet level he made for Kacey.

* '''[[11042009 51 50|51 50]]''' - ''4 [[November 2009]]'' {{Power}} {{ParappaShirt}} Chris does hammer curls, poorly, with 12-packs of soda he claims weigh 50 pounds each. They don't.

* '''[[No More Jokes]]''' - ''4 [[November 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Audio}} Chris reveals the inoffensive "gay Spider-man" picture, and is seemingly disgusted by it. YouTube pulls the video for some reason.

* '''[[11052009 Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You|Kacey, I Love You, and I Need You]]''' - ''6 [[November 2009]]'' {{Tragedy}} {{Liquid}} {{RedStripeShirt}} After the disastrous [[Father Call]], Chris says he loves and needs Kacey, and tries to cry on camera but can't.

* '''[[CWC is Sad]]''' - ''10 [[November 2009]]'' {{Tragedy}} {{Liquid}} {{DangerStripeShirt}} Chris, who is seemingly very sad, congratulates Kacey on her marriage with Liquid Chris.

* '''[[Red Letter CWC Certified Day]]''' ''12 [[November 2009]]'' {{Smug}} {{Clyde}} {{Liquid}} {{RefereeShirt}} Chris shows off the copyright certificate for Sonichu.

* '''[[11142009|Captain's Log, Stardate November 14 2009]]''' ''14 [[November 2009]]'' {{Clyde}} {{RefereeShirt}} Chris fulfills his promise to upload a comic page, claims he has nothing on Craigslist and also claims to know people who know Clyde Cash's personal info.

* '''[[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation]]''' ''23 [[November 2009]]'' {{Comics}} {{Fanart}} {{ClassicShirt}} Chris, having completely recovered from the loss of Kacey, tries once again to pitch his incestuous, pedophillic porno-comic to businessmen as a comic for children. All while dropping his dox once more and wallowing in narcissism.

* '''[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]''' ''24 [[November 2009]]'' {{Comics}} {{Audio}} Chris does a video version of [[The Sonichu Chronicles]]...with a hand-held camera.

==December 2009==

* '''[[3 December 2009|Captain's Log, Stardate December 3th, 2009]]''' ''3 [[December 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris tells us that he is uploading a video that is showing him running, and then he babbles a lot about Little Big Planet.

* '''[[Sonichu's Edge]]''' ''3 [[December 2009]]'' {{Power}} {{VertRedShirt}} Chris is shown attempting to run down a street. The video is, unsurprisingly, filled with jump cuts to hide his inability to do so.

* '''[[Holiday Greetings]]''' ''5 [[December 2009]]'' {{Comics}} {{SafetyParka}} Chris seemingly draws Sonichu in the snow and wishes everybody happy holidays. In reality he just praises his comic again and not-so-subtly compares it to the coming of Jesus.

* '''[[9 December 2009|Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009]]''' ''9 [[December 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{Rumors}} {{Galpals}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris talks about his disgust for the homosexual ads [[Jack Thaddeus]] has placed on CWCipedia and begs his TRUE and LOYAL fans in Europe to donate him money to get them removed. He then goes on access some rumors he have heard about a future Family Guy episode featuring him, and tells about his ideas for the episode which is just a bunch of narcissistic self-promoting bullshit. He also want his new gal-pal to voice Rosechu.

* '''[[Fanmail Reading]]''' ''10 [[December 2009]]'' {{OrangeShirt}} Chris reads some of the fan letters he's received through the mail, and then complains about the quality of the free things given to him.

* '''[[Congrats, Jack Black]]''' ''12 [[December 2009]]'' {{Video games}} {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} Chris congratulates Jack Black for winning an award for ''Brutal Legend'' in the Spike TV Video Game Awards, an awards show that nobody cares about.

* '''[[IPods_Down_and_Listen_Up|IPods Down and Listen Up]]''' ''15 [[December 2009]]'' {{Music}} {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Chris attempts a freestyle rap, where he suggests that he has taken Viagra, and it has given him the confidence to rape women to produce tiger/panther cubs (or so his lyrics go). In reality, Chris's doctor has told him he has a vitamin deficiency and Chris is acting like the vitamins he's taken are <s>Viagra</s> crystal meth.

* '''[[Hello, Juffalo]]''' ''18 [[December 2009]]'' {{Crazy}} {{Music}} {{Galpals}} {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Chris tries to sing over another song, this time by Insane Clown Posse labelmates Dark Lotus. He has painted his face in the manner of a Juggalo, and also Sonichu, and fails at reciting the lyrics despite obviously reading them from a piece of paper.

* '''[[20 December 2009|Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009]]''' ''20 [[December 2009]]'' {{Rumors}} {{GreenWideLinesShirt}} Chris complains about a Times Square billboard bearing his image and tortures a cat.

* '''[[A Sonichu Day]]''' ''24 [[December 2009]]'' {{Comedy}} {{YellowRedStripeShirt}} Chris helpfully illustrates what boring chores [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] have to deal with using the power of Lego minifigures.

* '''[[Shout out to Fans in Hospital]]''' ''24 [[December 2009]]'' {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} {{Website}} Chris gives a shout-out to the Columbine shooters because "they got into a car accident and are now in the hospital".

* '''[[Kill De Jack]]''' ''25 [[December 2009]]'' {{Rage}} {{Clyde}} {{YellowRedStripeShirt}} Chris make a video endorsing murder of [[Jack Thaddeus]] for the ads he's putting on his site. Clyde Cash is also mentioned.

* '''[[Download For Play Only]]''' ''26 [[December 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{Video games}} {{Website}} {{Clyde}} {{YellowRedStripeShirt}} Chris rambles about how we should be able to download LBP levels and how a game's merchandise is its wedding ring and forbids everyone to alter his custom levels . He elegantly changes the subject at the end of the video to request the murder of [[Jack Thaddeus]] in revenge for the homo ads.

* '''[[To Clyde and Jack]]''' ''27 [[December 2009]]'' {{Homos}} {{Rage}} {{Clyde}} {{YellowRedStripeShirt}} Chris states that he likes homosexuals, implies that Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus's actions harm the LGBT community, and suggests that the two aforementioned trolls commit suicide and rot in [[Ruckersville, VA|Hell]].

* '''[[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp]]''' ''31 [[December 2009]]'' {{Website}} {{Clyde}} {{reason}} {{DangerStripeShirt}} Chris ask to the CWCipedia's Sysop to remove the ad right next to the title of his front page. He also wishes for the suicide of Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus.<noinclude>
{{documentation}}
</noinclude>

User talk:Whispsonichu

2010-11-23T03:04:28Z

Meat Miracle: /* Video replacements */ new section

Just starting my talk page.

== Video replacements ==

Nice work replacing all the broken videos! Your work is appreciated. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 19:04, 22 November 2010 (PST)

Saga

2010-11-23T03:00:09Z

Meat Miracle: /* Jackie Saga */

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe any on-going trolling effort that produces considerable drama. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with [[Miyamoto saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term ''dynasty'').

Some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook]] saga project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a [[Pokémon]] TCG League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry, made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]] style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry emails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time, before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the Chris-chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] webpage. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white-knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hell-bent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash, after discovering that he and another supposed troll,[[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his Sonichu game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do... well... anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a Powerpoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]... and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief time frame, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical [[semen|spurt]] of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

===Liquid Chris Saga===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christan Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt.

===CWCipedia Saga===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life to, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] emails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through email about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin Sonichu Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called Asperchu, starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring Asperchu and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of Asperchu, combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon Sonichu and go to Asperchu.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us Sonichu 10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. As well, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] has been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his Simonchu comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing the Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after the Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga ===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis, dating as far back as before the Megan saga. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the [[Pokemon TCG]] League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and all-around being a pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. In no less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of the Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|E-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into the GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]] updates abruptly stopped and communications between Jackie and Chris seemed to have ceased. Email correspondence and IM conversations between the two were leaked on 6 November, showing that Jackie's and Chris's relationship started two months earlier than previously thought. By 22 November, it is assumed that the Jackie saga has ended with the release of Chris's [[100 2357.MOV|sixth vow to leave the internet]].

==The future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]

Saga

2010-11-23T02:59:22Z

Meat Miracle: /* Jackie Saga */

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe any on-going trolling effort that produces considerable drama. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with [[Miyamoto saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term ''dynasty'').

Some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook]] saga project.

==List of Sagas==

===Megan Saga===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a [[Pokémon]] TCG League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved... excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry, made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]] style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry emails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time, before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the Chris-chan page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] webpage. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white-knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hell-bent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash, after discovering that he and another supposed troll,[[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

And so it continues to this date; a never-ending conflict between two mortal enemies...

===PandaHalo Saga===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his Sonichu game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do... well... anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a Powerpoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]... and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief time frame, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical [[semen|spurt]] of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]].

===Liquid Chris Saga===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christan Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt.

===CWCipedia Saga===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life to, safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] emails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through email about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin Sonichu Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called Asperchu, starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring Asperchu and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of Asperchu, combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon Sonichu and go to Asperchu.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us Sonichu 10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. As well, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] has been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his Simonchu comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[Little Big Planet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal... and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing the Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after the Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga ===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis, dating as far back as before the Megan saga. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the [[Pokemon TCG]] League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and all-around being a pain, Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

==Intermittent Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga===

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. In no less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post-exile==

===Jackie Saga===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of the Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|E-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into the GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]] updates abruptly stopped and communications between Jackie and Chris seemed to have ceased. Email correspondence and IM conversations between the two were leaked on 6 November, showing that Jackie's and Chris's relationship started two months earlier than previously thought. By 22 November, it is assumed that the Jackie saga has ceased with the release of Chris's [[100 2357.MOV|sixth vow to leave the internet]].

==The future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]

User:Meat Miracle

2010-11-23T02:30:51Z

Meat Miracle:

{{Rigist}}
{{Americunt}}
{{Asian}}
{{Hex-Box}}
 
==Chris-related==
I discovered Chris at the age of 14 back in 2008 through Encyclopedia Dramatica. A little more than a year later, I was introduced to CWCki and found myself unable to stop reading about the strange and wonderful things that happened/are happening to Chris.

Before I leaned of Chris, I used to be like him - sitting alone in my room on the internet, getting up only to watch TV, eat, or use the bathroom. After my discovery of Chris, I was forced to re-evaluate myself: do I really want to waste my life away like Chris, or do I want to improve myself? It was at that point that I started going outside and socializing more. If it weren't for Chris, who knows where I'd be now?

That aside, my favorite video is, by far, [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!]], simply because of the level of tardrage and biploarity in the video. My favorite quote, though, is the disturbing, unholy laugh Chris lets out in [[Secret Weapon]].

My trolling efforts are restricted mostly to phonework, usually prank calling people using the Chris or Bob soundboard or directly calling the autistic wonder (and his family) myself.

==About me==
I'm a high school student with too much free time.

==Stuff I do on the internet==
*Frequent/edit CWCki
*[http://www.fpsbanana.com/members/subs/769961 Create maps for Call of Duty 4 under the alias EON8]
*Frequent/post on 4chan
*Frequent/post on the several forums I am part of
*Misc. graphic editing
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChrisChanPrankCalls Phone harassment]

==Stuff I do IRL==
*[http://www.caedes.net/Zephir.cgi?lib=Caedes::Gallery&author=MeatMiracle Photography, while occasionally uploading my best photos to the internet]
*Bowling
*Urban exploration
*Biking
*Drumming
*Amateur ghost hunting
*Airsoft

==How to contact me==
Don't. But if you must, I can be found at meatmiracle[at]sonichu.com.

<div style="position:fixed; bottom:0; right:0">[[Image: Cockmongler.png]] </div>

2010-10-20T22:33:55Z

Meat Miracle:

Song of Christian

2010-10-18T00:01:04Z

Meat Miracle: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. He failed miserably. From a critical perspective, his poem is clichéd, has no form whatsoever, and exists solely to praise himself. Chris bases his poem partly on Walt Whitman's [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]]. Given that poem's [[Ego|masturbatory tone]] and [[Homos|homoerotic]] interludes (Whitman was openly gay), it's little wonder Chris found it so appealing.

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and camerawork|use proper lighting]]—video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days—and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling. This is easily one of the most sleep-inducing videos he ever made. But don't rest too comfortably—there are some parts in it that ''will'' wake you up.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] is up for debate.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and... [[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part 1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|Song of Christian Part 2]]
}}
<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to the Christian Chandler Show! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to the Christian Chandler Show. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line—an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so... please don't laugh. I feel—I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called—entitled—"The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of Sonic the Hedgehog on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little 'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'. [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the Best Buy store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.
[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on Mario Raceway". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was Mario Kart 64. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, Mario Raceway Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' [[Nintendo Power magazine]]. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]... on the ''insides'', like a regular Nintendo Power magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the Zelda contest. Ya know, test the Zelda 64 game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about [[Sonic]] on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
Chris claims that his mother took him to a Best Buy in Charlottesville 6 weeks after his birth, placing the date around mid-April 1982. Best Buy wasn't even called Best Buy until a year later (At that point it was "Sound of Music"), and didn't open their first Virginia store until 1994.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Best_Buy#History</ref>

In addition, it is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at 6 weeks old. Any doctor will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any psychologist will tell you that their Broca's Area is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part 2==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|Song of Christian Part 1]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh... this may even be a rumor, so you—my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh... shows how Sonic's friends help him... climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic... and Bionic... breaking a lot—destroying a lot—breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, Sonic on Game Boy originally was Sonic and Knuckles, but I decided to do something different in this magazine. Sonic and Knuckles ''Two''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!".

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade Nintendo Power together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up'']

Yeah... and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file... selector, and another water zone, Knuckles—playing as Knuckles, and a... special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. SUPER Sonic. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all—with some of the Sonic games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some... coverage on the... Sonic, uh... with the... how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got Sonic One picture there, and Sonic Three.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh... coverage on the games. I got Sonic 1, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic and Knuckles in there... yeah, the original Sonic and Knuckles I'm talking about, not Sonic and Knuckles 2.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh... sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it BEAST WARS... [[Transformers]]. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it... goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh... Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron... Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh... before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh... other Nintendo Power cover, which I made of... uh... you heard of Megaman XTC Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. Megaman XTC FOUR. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh... about some of the stuff about him in the... Sigma's return... Zero being captured, and... it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The—from the original first—the first Megaman X game... except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three Megaman X games and a couple of the classic Megaman games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not Megaman X without the old... classic Megaman X boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic—parts of Sonic 1 and Sonic 2, and I just did Mario Kart 64. And for Nintendo Power... I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because—lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh... chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of Super Sonic....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV—AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU MADE IT BURN, I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been the Christian Chandler Show, and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land... goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Fight Against a Somewhat Autistic Monster
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1EJspy_pafE}}
| Stardate = 26 September 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
==References==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]

Song of Christian

2010-10-17T23:42:48Z

Meat Miracle: /* Transcript */

[[Image:Song_of_christian_1_1-51.jpg|thumb|"I hear [[America]] singing as I sing of myself..."]]

'''''Song of Christian''''' was a poem that [[Chris]], at age sixteen, had to write for a class. He failed miserably. From a critical perspective, his poem is clichéd, has no form whatsoever, and exists solely to praise himself. Chris bases his poem partly on Walt Whitman's [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]]. Given that poem's [[Ego|masturbatory tone]] and [[Homos|homoerotic]] interludes (Whitman was openly gay), it's little wonder Chris found it so appealing.

He later made a video that showed him raging about the well-deserved F, which showed up on his [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|documentary DVD]]. This time, he failed to do two things: [[Chris and camerawork|use proper lighting]]—video cameras didn't come with night-vision features in those days—and come up with something interesting to say before the camera was rolling. This is easily one of the most sleep-inducing videos he ever made. But don't rest too comfortably—there are some parts in it that ''will'' wake you up.

Compared with his voice today, at age sixteen, he embodied the dulcet tones of [[Wikipedia:James Earl Jones|James Earl Jones]] and shared the octave range of [[Wikipedia:Captain Beefheart|Captain Beefheart]]. What happened in between then and his [[Harvey Birdman Commercial]] is up for debate.

==The actual poem==

<blockquote><poem>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
And you experience, as I experience.
The problems of yourself are my problems.
The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
As you have sung the song of laughter.
At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
Those are my parents' song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].
The magazine's songs, the ballad of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] on Game Boy.
The rudeness of the teenager's song,
The despicable mention of rude words and... [[Tobacky|D-R-U-G-S]].
I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
My song that I sing, although I talk well,
My peer relationship is low, and my [[So Lonesome|loneliness]] is off the scale.”</poem></blockquote>

==Part 1==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 1
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eC4XNixKBq4}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = Poetry
| style = {{Rage|text}}, {{Tragedy|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes#Video|Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]
| next = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_2|Song of Christian Part 2]]
}}
<center>Just showing off his [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]].</center>

===Transcript===

[''simulates blowing a trumpet, or the sound of a diseased rooster, to mark his arrival''] 

Welcome ladies, and gentlemen, to the Christian Chandler Show! 
Bringin' ya lots of laughs, and all that neat ol' stuff. Now, here he is, the host with the most: Christian Chandler!

<div>[''simulates the cheers of a crowd, stopping to take a breath halfway through, and reveals himself to the camera'']</div>

<div>Good evening friends, and welcome to the Christian Chandler Show. '''I''' am your host Christian Chandler.
Now, tonight, we are gonna talk about poetry. And uh, line—an', uh, behind the scenes of part of the lines—which got me inspired. An' I'm gonna express my feelings a little bit, so... please don't laugh. I feel—I'll feel embarrassed. Okay, anyway, my poem is called—entitled—"The Song of Christian". And I just did it last night, on May 14th, [[1998]].</div>

[''irritated undecipherable mutter''] Anyway, uh, I'm gonna do my poem, now, so, here goes:

<blockquote>“I hear America singing, as I sing of myself,
 And you experience, as I experience.
 The problems of yourself are my problems.
 The youth and the young singing cries of happiness,
 As you have sung the song of laughter.
 At age six weeks, I sang this song of laughter
 Then, at one and a half years of age, the Lord put the mute button on me.
 Those are my parents song. They pulled me through to talk again, at age seven.
 I am now sixteen years old and good at talking enough to help me achieve...
 New goals and Mario raceway records, and to finish my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine.
 The magazine's songs, the ballad of Sonic the Hedgehog on Game Boy.
 The rudeness of the teenager's song,
 The despicable mention of rude words and... D-R-U-G-S.
 I am not afraid to speak, despite the hazardous flukes in America's song.
 My song that I sing, although I talk well,
 My peer relationship is low, and my loneliness is off the scale.”</blockquote>

An' anyway that's my poem. 
Now, we gotta go behind the lines, and see how it all got inspired.

<div>Now the, uh, first line line "I hear America singing", and, uh, "sing of myself". I got those from the combination of the first line of, both, [[Wikipedia:Song of Myself|"Song of Myself"]] and—s I—s—I—[http://www.bartleby.com/142/91.html "I hear America singing"]. And the "experiencing" and (''"problems"?'') ... I made those up myself. And of course, ya know, the, ahh, youth. I'm talking about the young children, here. They start singing their cries of happiness when they are born. With their little 'giggles' and 'tee-hee-hees'. [''[[sigh]]''] That's just the sound of laughter. At age six weeks, I started... the sound of laughter which is my—when I start talking. Now, my first word was 'monkey', and here's how it happened. My mother and I went down to the Best Buy store in [[Charlottesville]] many, many years ago. ''Of course you know at age six weeks I was born in [[1982]]''. [''sigh''] Anyway, uh, my mother was carrying me in her arms, and she was shopping, when then all of a sudden I said "monkey"[''baby talk voice'']. An' there was a wo—uh, there was an old woman near by, and, uh, she suh—h—heard me and then came over and asked my mom, "''Was that your son?''", and my mom said, "''Yup, that was my son''". Ahh... she didn't say anything she was just shocked.</div> 

<div>An', anyway I, uh, went on—and—on with my mouth. That is until the age one-and-a-half... years... [''sigh''] The sad thing that happened... the Lord put the mute button on me. CLICK FLICK [''Light switch motion'']. That's when my ad—me—I'm representing my autism, there. The Lord clickin' the mute button. [sigh] An' anyway here's where my autism began. I'm gonna to be real truthful here. Uh, I had a babysitter, but, uh, she was kinda've mean [[Abusive babysitter|babysitter]]. Anyway, ah, one day she was on her phone and, uh, I came up t—I came up to her, I came up with her, and said something and, uh, she was kinda angry at me, 'cause I interrupted her phone call, AND she locked me [[Chris's room|in a room fulla noth—n—fulla nothing but toys]], and, uh, she just locked me in there, and, uh, I was very lonely, so I just sat there and cried, and... uh that's how my [[autism]] began. Thanks to an evil babysitter.</div> 

<div>And then thanks to my parents—actually my ma did most of the work, but, uh, it was thanks to my parents. They got me talkin' again at age seven. An', anyway, here's how they—it happened. My mother, my mother, always took me down to the toy store, ahh, at least every weekend on...[''sigh''] to, uh, wa—l—look at the, to read the packages. Like, to say, for example, "Go-Bots." You remember those old goh—fashion Go-Bot toys? Well, anyway, with (Mario?) hands me the package is, and thepackageis [''All in one breath''] for me, and I read along with her. And, uh, well, we just read the, uhh, top name of the fi—name of the toy, and the name of the, uh, to—and the, uhhh, name of the... character that it represents. And, then, on an the—go to the flip side and see all the other characters, name all the other toys in the collection. And, ''of course'', we did the same for fu—the old-fashioned Transformers. Yes. [''Head confidently turns to look at items off-camera'']</div>

And, also, wit' mother an' I—and, also, sometimes, mother and I'd buy some Lego sets and build them together, like, for example... [''mumbles about getting his "stupid thing"''] Oh, yeah... Lllike, for example, this old, uh, bicycle (''pig?'') shop, here. Ah, you can tell this is an old-fashioned [[Lego]] set on account of this—the old-fashioned "LegoLand" on the corner. Anyway, ah, we always built something like this, but, uhh, since that... and, one time, we even built a nice racetrack. I don't still have my Lego tin, but, uh... I NAMED MY CAMERA NIBBLE(?).... [''sigh''] I don't think... that it's good to have. Uh, oh, well, anyway.

''Excuse me''.
[[Image:003-NPSon.jpg|thumb|right|The Homemade Nintendo Power magazine]]

Anyway, Mother and I always had fun together. But, then, at age five—age seven, my mouth blabbed, ah—I started blabbin' my mouth, again. Daarn that collar! [''Voice cracks''] And then, uh, the, ah, "Helping to achieve new records on Mario Raceway". You know I like the play video games. I mean, I have Nintendo 64 video games, the Super Nintendo games, Genesis, old-fashioned Nintendo, Game Boy, Game Gear, Sega CD, 32X, and I also got lotsa Tiger-brand LCD games. An', anyway, I was a video game p—person, and my favorite type of game were racing. So, um, one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games were—was Mario Kart 64. I'r, uh, I was already tryin' to beat my ghost on the, uh, Mario Raceway Time ''Trails'' mode. My best time—my best record is, as Mario, ah minute, twenty-one, and eighty-nine seconds. Me—uh... ''excuse me''... I mean a 1'21"89. Yeah, that's it. An', anyway, I always like to beat my records.

But then the, uh, Nin-ten-do Ma-ga-zine that's da'uh maga-zine you heard that was lost. There it is: my ''home-made'' [[Nintendo Power magazine]]. Actually, that's just the cover. [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'm, ah, working on it]]... on the ''insides'', like a regular Nintendo Power magazine. When I'm done it should have a hundred-and-eight pages, including the front cover, and the back cover. Ah, right now I'm only on, uh, page 35. [''sigh''] I'll show you, ah, the pages that are inside it. We have your, uh, your, ah, type of contest that they're mentioning of the main article... that goes with the table of contents ''there''. [''sigh''] Then, we have the winners section. Now you seen the, uh, the two envelopes on this page? I actually created them on u—other envelo—on two envelopes myself an' kinda copied that from the envelopes onto ''here''. And, on this page, the three of those, I just kinda made up myself. That's, uh, ''Cruis'n USA'', ''Zelda'', and ''Yoshi's Story''. [''Christian exhales and ruffles through the pages'']. And we have the, uh, ''Power Charts''. Which is the Top Ten Nintendo 64, and Super Nintendo, and the Top Five Game Boy games. Of course, the Most Wanted, and some more letters, and I just a made up a letter about somebody winning the Zelda contest. Ya know, test the Zelda 64 game that is gonna come out later. WAAAY later, I—in fact, we don't even know—we're not exactly sure WHEN it's gonna come out. ''Darnedest thing is slippin' on me'' [Christian reassembles the magazine].

<div>An anyway, I had this dream a long time ago about [[Sonic]] on Game Boy, so that's what I based my magazine on.
'Course you can ''tell'' on the cover he's switched from Sega to Nintendo. SO, I started off by making my own Nintendo 64 game: Sonic 64. Isn't that a cool picture, or what? [''shoves crude drawings into the camera''] Alrigh', anyway, you got your castle over ''there''. Sonic and Tails. '''Scuse me a sec''...</div>

====Factual error====
Chris claims that his mother took him to a Best Buy in Charlottesville 6 weeks after his birth, placing the date around mid-April 1982. Best Buy wasn't even called Best Buy until a year later (At that point it was "Sound of Music"), and didn't open their first Virginia store until 1994.<ref>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Best_Buy#History</ref>

In addition, it is physically impossible for him to have spoken a word at 6 weeks old. Any doctor will attest to the fact that no infant's vocal chords are developed enough by that time to speak, and any psychologist will tell you that their Broca's Area is not anywhere near developed enough to understand words by this time.

==Part 2==
{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = Song of Christian Part 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|G9qf5aYpjRg}}
| stardate = 15 [[May 1998]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}, Artwork
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| other = {{Leaked|[[DVD|Leaked]]}}
| previous = [[Song_of_Christian#Part_1|Song of Christian Part 1]]
| next = [[Mario_Kart_64_Lego_Raceway#Prototype|Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]
}}
<center>[[Chris]] [[virgin with rage|rages]] between 7:38 and 10:05 if you want to skip all the shit no one cares about.</center>

===Transcript===
[''Chris mutters under his breath and fiddles with the papers.'']

Uh... this may even be a rumor, so you—my magazine is falling apart on me. I mean it's just ''paper clipped.'' So sue me. I'm still [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE|working on it]].

[''Continues looking through pages'']

Now, let me just find that page again... Well, they have the old castle, again, but now I got the special moves, the spin dash, pound the baw—pound the ground, spin, punch. There's that cool picture of Sonic co—in the co—in the corner. Isn't that cool, or what, huh? Three DI-mensional. That's what I call cool. Yeah....

[''Mumbling and looking through pages.'']

And, then, I have Sonic's friends that help. Of course, Tails (that flies), Knuckles (that punches and flies), and [[Bionic]], WELLLLL, you heard rumors about Bionic: he's that Sonic's brother I made up myself who's that very good basketball player and mechanic. Uh... I can tell you the background story on him. I could tell you about it... I'll just make it quick so I can tell you, anyway. Bionic was Sonic's older brother. Please note "older". Anyway, one day, when they were very young, they were playing a ca—playing the game of catch, Sonic accidentally threw the ball into the bushes. Bionic offered to get it, because he was closer to it. He went in the bushes, but, then, there was a—but there was a warp... p—portal there, and he got sucked into it. Sonic tried to get him out, but Sonic fell into it, went to a dimension of ba—abou—basketball. But then, uh... years later, Bionic found a way to es—found a portal to go back to Sonic and end up in Sonic's... new home in Knothole. And, uh... Sonic and Bionic lived together from then on. Anyway, he's a great mechanic too.

Anyway, I got some pictures here that, uh... shows how Sonic's friends help him... climbing along Knuckles, Tails flying, Sonic... and Bionic... breaking a lot—destroying a lot—breaking a lot of Dr. Robotnik's evil machines.

And, yet, of course, you know, my, uhh, Sonic on Game Boy originally was Sonic and Knuckles, but I decided to do something different in this magazine. Sonic and Knuckles ''Two''... I mean, a sequel, yeah... Anyway, you got your coverage there, and I put a little Dr. Robotnik in the corner saying, (''changes voice'') "I HATE SONIC! AND I HATE THAT ECHIDNA, TOO!".

[''Bends over to adjust paperclip that is holding his homemade Nintendo Power together, muttering.'']

Oh, dear, the paperclip is slipping. Darn that thing.

[''Comes back up'']

Yeah... and, of course, you know I've got my basic "coverages" about a file... selector, and another water zone, Knuckles—playing as Knuckles, and a... special stage. Cool, huh?

[''Turns page'']

And then I made up a Super Nintendo game. SUPER Sonic. Yeah it's a Super Nintendo game with all—with some of the Sonic games in one Super Nintendo cartridge. Hey, look, check this out, we got Sonic hanging ten on a Super Nintendo controller. YEAAAH! (''hums music'') Anyway, then I got some... coverage on the... Sonic, uh... with the... how you select the game you wanna play. And of course I got Sonic One picture there, and Sonic Three.

[''Flips through pages.'']

Oh, dear...

And then I have the uh... coverage on the games. I got Sonic 1, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic and Knuckles in there... yeah, the original Sonic and Knuckles I'm talking about, not Sonic and Knuckles 2.

But, then, I made up another Nintendo 64 game. Uh... sort of interesting to teenagers. I call it BEAST WARS... [[Transformers]]. And except these aren't all about the missions; they're firece [''mispronunciation of fierce?'']. It's always the, uh, maximum critical in spite of each other (?). And I made somes—fantasize—suh that... it will be RumblePak compatible. And becau—and the uh... bots that I put in it... goes as follows. I got [[Optimus Prime|Optimus Primal]], and uh... Cheetor, Rattrap, Silverbolt, Dinobot, Megatron... Tarantulas, Waspinator, Quickstrike, and Inferno.

And then I, uh... before Soni- before I made the cover of Sonic, I made up a, uh... other Nintendo Power cover, which I made of... uh... you heard of Megaman XTC Nintendo? Well, that's what I did. Megaman XTC FOUR. Check that out. Cool picture. IT'S BACK. And then there's some coverage, uh... about some of the stuff about him in the... Sigma's return... Zero being captured, and... it's his armor. It's actually revived armor... The—from the original first—the first Megaman X game... except more powerful, because... (''mumbles'') oh, whatever...

Anyway, I got a bunch of bosses from the three Megaman X games and a couple of the classic Megaman games. I got Storm Eagle, Snake Man, Wheel Gator, Neon Tiger... [''mumbles "oh jeez" while flipping through pages'']... Gravity Beetle, Bubble Crab, Shadow Man... and, uh... why not Megaman X without the old... classic Megaman X boss... [''fumbles with pages, mumbling''] Oh, dear... these things are slipping on me.... Anyway, Chill Penguin. Yeah, that penguin is back, alright. I got each of these bosses, have a 3D battle song (?), and of course, now, I got coverage of Sigma's return. I got Robot's dogra form (?), then I made up a new dissent (?) for old Dr. Wiley, Dr. Wiley Jr. here, he's fighting Megaman in a robot MONKEY. Monkey... And then I got Sigma's return... and this is actually from that cover of Meg—that cover I made up. I mean, it's actually destroying Sigma, but this is from his view. It's actually from the opposite side... of the battlefield.

So right now I'm working on the classified information... begun with Sonic—parts of Sonic 1 and Sonic 2, and I just did Mario Kart 64. And for Nintendo Power... I'm tracing another copy. Yeah, you can tell it's another copy, because—lookit there. Sonic is a bit more, uh... chubbier there. You can tell the difference right there. All right, on, um... this tracing thing, I only got to page 60, it was the beginning of Super Sonic....

But, moving on... yeah... the rudeness of the teenagers song... of course, now—of course, you know I'm talking about those despicable rude words they got down in there... I mean... ah, you know, w-w-when they say those... sound like... "Oh, *beeeep*." And, uh... "Oh, *booop*", and "son of a *boop*".... You understand what I'm talking about? I mean, that just really ticks me off. And I hope this video's getting through to those tee—to those students in that English class of mine. I HOPE THEY GET IT THROUGH THEIR HEADS AND EV—AND GET IT THROUGH TO EVERYONE IN THAT SCHOOL, THAT THAT RUDE LANGUAGE IS CRUEL. I mean, you see it, and—you thinks it's cool to the adults, BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO IT. I MEAN, IT'S JUST RUDE! VERY RUDE! I MEAN, I'M JUST SICK OF IT! I mean... [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|HNNNNGH]].

And then there's that other thing... the, uh... D-R-U-G-S. (''mimes smoking'') That just... that *puff puff* [[tobacky|thing]], that just clogs up my nose. *grunt* And that other thing.... (''mimes drinking alcohol and passing out'') Anyway, just MAKES ME SICK to see people just [[Sonichu|waste]] [[Little Big Planet|their]] [[Love Quest|lives]] [[Guitar Hero|away]] on [[alcohol|that]]. I mean, [[Chris and hypocrisy|it's DESPICABLE (''hits table''). DE-SPIC-A-BLE!]] Understand what I'm talking about? And, of course, I'm not afraid to speak about the hazardous flukes like [[Chris and copyright|the "American Song" how it goes]]... and, of course, that last line there.... The song I sing you and all my—talk about my peer relationships as well... I talk about the peer relationships in my neighborhood. I mean, I do not have that many peers in the neighborhood. All I have in my neighborhood is Damien, and I don't usually see him a lot, and a twelve year old boy named Michael, and he's uh... just a little kid.

Anyway, I'm just usually lonely at home. Don't have a second player to play with. I don't even have a little brother, and I'm s—still hoping for one. Anyway uh... I see by the clock that it's about time I sign off. But, uh... before I go, I have just one thing to say to, uh... the teacher: '''[[Chris and anger|AN F IN ENGLISH CLASS?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!]]''' I mean, an F! I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I GOT AN F... I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? IT COULD'VE BEEN BACK IN OLD GREENE COUNTY, THAT STUPID PLACE... YEESH. That Greene County Primary... actually that was a nice school, but then th—came the [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School|Nathanael Greene Elementary]]. That's w—where I got the F. Anyway, then, many years rolled by... '''THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND GAVE ME AN F. I MEAN I STARTED OFF WITH AN A AND YOU JUST LOWERED AND LOWERED AND LOWERED IT! I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS LOWERING THING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST AUT—[[Slow-in-the-minds|AGAINST THE HANDICAPPED CHILDREN]], ANYWAY?! I MEAN, I KNOW MY HANDICAP IS [[Kick the Autistic|AUTISM]], AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! AND YOU MADE IT BURN, I THINK THAT F IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL! I MEAN, [[Chris and his Ego|I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT]].'''

[''stress sigh'']

Anyway, it's time I sign off. Well, this has been the Christian Chandler Show, and we hope you all enjoyed it. And, as we say in the land of TV Land... goodnight, folks!

[''covers camera with hand and "sings" theme song'']

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Fight Against a Somewhat Autistic Monster
| video = {{#ev:youtube|1EJspy_pafE}}
| Stardate = 26 September 2010
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
==References==

<references/>

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]|nextlink=[[Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway]]|}}
{{Writings}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Poetry]]

Creepy stare

2010-10-11T23:16:56Z

Meat Miracle:

[[Image:139-CWCsDarkGlare.jpg|thumb|He thinks it's cool]]

The verdict is in. You gonna get [[rape]]d.

[[Chris]] seems to employ multiple '''stares''', all trying to project a different emotion and all nearly identical to each other, a la Derek Zoolander. He has used them to display anger, frustration, romantic interest, or sometimes an intentional lack of emotion, almost like an autistic variant of a poker face. Like many of Chris's strange [[CWC-isms|mannerisms]], this is likely linked to his [[autism]]; autistics tend to have difficulty understanding and expressing the kind of non-verbal social cues that are second nature to most people.

Chris may think that his stare is a sexy and seductive gaze or an intimidating glare that will force his adversaries into submission, but to ordinary observers, it invariably comes across as creepy or out-of-place.

{{-}}
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:Creepy-Stare3.jpg
Image:Creepy-Stare5.jpg
Image:Creepy-Stare1.jpg
Image:0694-AnnaBD8.JPG|You just know he's planning [[Rape|something]] based on that expression.
Image:0695-AnnaBD9.JPG|This photo almost makes you feel sorry for [[Anna McLerran|that bitch]]...
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|Learning at an [[1980s|early age]].
Image:Modnationstare.png|He even incorporates it into [[Video games|video games]]
Image:0777-CWConbed.JPG|Possibly the most frightening [[Nudes|clothed]] image of Chris.
Image:Whatthefuckiswithhisrighteye.jpg|Srsly, what the fuck is with his right eye?
Image:Csof111.JPG
Image:295.jpg
Image:Chris2.jpg|For some strange reason or another, Chris thinks his gaze is sensual.
Image:Cwc_csof.JPG
Image:1240785819569.jpg|[[Fan:CWCVille 1984|BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.]]
Image:Creepychris.jpg|CHIIIIIIINNNAAAAAAA...
File:CWCstare1.png|[[Sonichu 10|OBJECTION!]]
File:Morechristmasshit.jpg|[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|''Fun for the whole family!'']]
File:Creepy-Stare6.jpg|In the dark...
File:Creepystare.jpg|...Even from within the [[Time Void|Abyss]].
File:Simonlaweed.jpg|Dat Face.
File:0476-CWC18th7.jpg|Chris as he's about to molest his birthday presents.
File:Strangle that Frieza.JPG
File:Myspace.jpg|The stare has the power to shine in even the [[Chris's room|darkest caves]].
File:CreepyBobAndChris.JPG|[[Bob]] can do it too!
File:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg| ...So can [[Barb]]!
File:Creepy boat.jpg|[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD]] (after [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|sinking your boat]])
File:AHikeStare.jpg
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Pedo-Glasses]]

==External links==

* [http://cwcstare.ytmnd.com/ Chris-chan stares into your soul.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB0KPHqjwZw Tribute to the creepy stare.]

{{Mannerisms}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Creepy stare}}
[[Category:Mannerisms]]

File:AHikeStare.jpg

2010-10-11T23:16:38Z

Meat Miracle:

Talk:Jackie

2010-09-25T04:19:29Z

Meat Miracle:

{{Not A Forum}}

tl;dr: This woman decided to contact us and wants to tell other women not to go out with chris. she doesn't know how the wiki shit works so just like...i'm handling it for now. so yeah. okay. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:23, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

and apparently now she's back with chris for some reason. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 14:35, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

: I'm assuming this is the same woman as in the Jackie e-mails, right? - [[User:Boop|Boop]] 15:24, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:: Probably. I'm still curious as to how CHRIS of all people bagged such a major fucking hottie. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 06:07, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

::: Troll perhaps? I'm still not sure how he could 'attract' a girl like this ... perhaps she has a hideous facial scar on the hidden side of her face? --[[User:MaHexBawx|MaHexBawx]] 07:57, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

: I get the feeling that it was less of her getting back with him and more of him deciding to try to get her back. --[[User:Arius|Arius]] 04:21, 15 September 2010 (PDT)

: Another for "prolly a troll", or trolling potential: one of that one band's songs: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Shuffled_His_Feet_(song) --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 23:37, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

:::*Almost certainly a troll. The alleged photo of her (and others) can be found on jaybee.cc under the album "scyther." [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 21:19, 24 September 2010 (PDT)

Wasn't the Jackie page deleted sometime ago between the 6th and now while we were trying to figure it out. Or am I forgetting the origonal name? --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:37, 13 September 2010.

I thought that listing the last name was a no-no after the Wallflower incident. Is this something that should be taken out or are we going to leave it up this time? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 19:10, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

You have to remember that The Wallflower herself requested to take her name down of the site - all the other names e.g. Megan Schroeder are still there --[[User:Maximilian Graves|Maximilian Graves]] 19:14, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

I Have to ask, Who's behind this?--[[User:Dan Dash|Dan Dash]] 12:26, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
*Behind what? 9/11? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 12:34, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
::Jews did 9/13. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 12:51, 14 September 2010 (PDT)

== STOP BEING RETARDS ==

Damn slow-in-the-minds. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 09:52, 17 September 2010 (PDT)

Template:Captain's Log

2010-09-06T19:34:00Z

Meat Miracle: adding september 6

{| id="toc" width="70%" style="text-align:Left; clear:both;" align=center
|- style="background:#ccccff" align="center" width="95%"
| '''[[Captain's Log]]'''
|-
| style="font-size:11px;" |
'''By Stardate:'''
{| style="width:100%; font-size:10px; background-color:transparent; margin:0;" cellpadding="0"
| style="width:45%; vertical-align:top;" |
:'''[[2007#November|Nov 07]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007|7]]
:'''[[2008#August|Aug 08]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2008|3]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 6th, 2008|6]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 8th, 2008|8]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 15th, 2008|15]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 28th, 2008|28]]
:'''[[2008#September|Sept 08]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 11th, 2008|11]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|13]] | [[Chris Chan Update 24 September 2008|24]]
:'''[[2008#October|Oct 08]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|9]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|13]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 21st, 2008|21]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 27th, 2008|27]]
:'''[[2008#December|Dec 08]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 28th, 2008|28]]
:'''[[January 2009|Jan 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 6th, 2009|6]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|8]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|12]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009|15]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 16th, 2009|16]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009|18]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009|21]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009|26]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 30th, 2009|30]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009|31]]
:'''[[February 2009|Feb 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 8th, 2009|8]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|10]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 18th, 2009|18]]
:'''[[March 2009|Mar 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|4]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|10]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 18th, 2009|18]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 26th, 2009|26]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009|27]]
:'''[[April 2009|Apr 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 9th, 2009|9]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate Easter Sunday, 2009|12]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 17th, 2009|17]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|28]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 29th, 2009|29]]
:'''[[May 2009|May 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 3rd, 2009|3]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009|22]]
:'''[[July 2009|July 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 1st, 2009|1]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 7th, 2009|7]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 22nd, 2009|22]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate July 29th, 2009|29]]
| style="width:90%; vertical-align:top;" |
:'''[[August 2009|Aug 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009|3]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 12th, 2009|12]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 13th, 2009|13]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 16th, 2009|16]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 18th, 2009|18]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 20th, 2009|20]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 22nd, 2009|22]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate August 30th, 2009|30]]
:'''[[September 2009|Sep 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 4th, 2009|4]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 10th, 2009|10]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 19th, 2009|19]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 25th, 2009|25]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 29th, 2009|29]]
:'''[[October 2009|Oct 09]]:''' [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2009|9]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 10th, 2009|10]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|15]]
:'''[[November 2009|Nov 09]]:''' [[Red Letter CWC Certified Day|12]] | [[14 November 2009|14]]
:'''[[December 2009|Dec 09]]:''' [[3 December 2009|3]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9]] | [[Congrats, Jack Black|12]] | [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 20th, 2009|20]] | [[Kill De Jack|25]]
:'''[[January 2010|Jan 10]]:''' [[This was my fault|2]] | [[Down with Asperchu|9]] | [[12 January 2010|12]] | [[14 January 2010|14]] | [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L|15]] | [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|17]] | [[22 January 2010|22]] | [[29 January 2010|29]]
:'''[[February 2010|Feb 10]]:''' [[Apologies to Alec and Evan|1]] | [[5 February 2010|5]] | [[9 February 2010|9]]
:'''[[March 2010|Mar 10]]:''' [[02 March 2010|2]]
:'''[[April 2010|Apr 10]]:''' [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|12]]
:'''[[May 2010|May 10]]:''' [[05142010|15]] | [[Some Favored Comedians|20]] | [[100 2189|31]]
:'''[[August 2010|August 10]]:''' [[Stardate,_August_27,_2010|27]]
:'''[[September 2010|September 10]]:''' [[Haters gonna hate.mov|6]]
|}
|-
| style="font-size:11px;" | '''By other criteria:''' [[List of Videos|full list]]
|}

<includeonly>[[Category:Captain's log entries]]</includeonly>
<noinclude>[[Category: Templates]]</noinclude>

Talk:EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW

2010-08-29T02:21:31Z

Meat Miracle:

I am transcribing this BITCH. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:14, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Fucking done. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:21, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Ahahahaha, Chris is going to organize the high school reunion by himself. This is awesome as it is, but we can't let this opportunity to troll him go by. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 01:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

How do we know that a reunion has already been organised, and that Chris was not invited? [[User:Sorrid Snake|Sorrid Snake]] 01:29, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

oh, i did some digging around. i don't have it on me, but i'm 95% sure there was one planned. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 01:30, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I think the single funniest thing in this video is that Chris implies he thinks the reason he cant break into the video game industry is because of trolls working for Nintendo. Also, i'm pretty sure he wants a reunion so he can hook up, I'd imagine the last women willing to associated with him were in highschool. Also, I dunno what to do with this, do whatever if you want, just doodling.[[File:Names.PNG|thumb|center]] [[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 02:40, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Need any on scene reporters for this shit. I don't live that far away from Manchester High.[[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 05:23, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Sure. I'd post it here, but you Google it yourself....(chris if you're reading this you're a lazy shit). If the date is november then you got it. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

I checked it out a couple months ago, and I didn't see anything that would indicate that they had planned a reunion. Besides, if I remember correctly, Chris was on one of the mailing lists to be informed if something did happen. Given that few, if any, of his former classmates are aware of his internet notoriety, I doubt that he would've been left out of the loop.--[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 06:56, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Well, I have an address and date and time and everything. I'm sure that was probably a fake Chris... [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 07:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

* Oh, I see. You were posting your answer as I was posting my hypothesis. Leave it to the great Clyde Cash to be one step ahead of Inspector Detector and I. --[[User:Racer X|Racer X]] 07:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Side note. ==

One interesting thing I noticed while transcribing this BITCH. Chris repeats his number for emphasis- does he think YouTube is live? Like live TV? He seems to do almost all of his videos 'on the first take', mistakes included, so this would seem plausible. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:*It's because doing multiple takes and editing is SO HARD and WAY TOO MUCH WORK. Also one take is much more TRUE and HONEST. Someone gets into it somewhere on the CWCki, but I forget where.--[[User:RTBHBX|RTBHBX]] 06:01, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Transcribing his shit english? ==

We all know Chris can't present himself verbally, but it's getting to the point where it can be difficult to follow the transcription for his videos since they seem to be written out fairly close to verbatim to his actual speech. Since the transcribing seems to be done by a small group of people (thanks for that, by the way) it's fairly consistent, but even so, should there be some kind of guideline written up for it? Such as what mispronounciations should be included, what stuttering to include, that sort of thing? -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 20:47, 27 August 2010 (PDT) (signature added later for clarification purposes).

:*First of all, sign your posts (it's just <nowiki>--~~~~</nowiki> at the end of your post). Secondly, some videos are transcribed like that- I transcribed part of Mumble 6 that way, mainly because it was Chris and Julie cybering and I really didn't need to go over and over that just to make sure I got every bit of his spastic stuttering correct. Speaking personally, I prefer to make the transcription as faithful as possible- including stuttering and mistakes. I believe that's the most 'faithful' way to render articles where Chris speaks, including this one. That's one of the perks about being a transcriber- you get to pick your style. If the inclusion of the stuttering (etc) really annoys you, the only thing I can suggest is to take a stab at the vast library of untranscribed audio we have available and transcribe it to your liking. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

::*Sorry about the unsigned, Slipped my mind. And I would probably be a bad choice for transcribing, as due to my personal history I use a spastic mix of English and American spelling, among other things. This wasn't intended as a criticism, just asking if there should be a general guideline. Like I said in the original post, the work of the transcribers is greatly appreciated. Sometimes it's just... painful to listen to him, and it's a lot easier to just read over his idiocy. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 20:47, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Hair==
So far, I've only looked at the thumb but from the image it really seems like his MPB is proceeding just as planned.
EDIT: Looked at the first few seconds. It's clear as day now. Chris is going bald really quickly. Anyone care to estimate how long he's got/ I would, but I don't know how to. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 08:04, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

:Think that as his MPB progresses we can chronicle his receding hairline? I'd be interested to see how quickly it is falling out now compared to the last few years. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:18, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

: I don't know how long he has but it really doesn't look healthy. It looks greasy and stringy and I honestly wonder how long it's been since he's bathed or washed his hair.
Either way, I'd say that he'll be completely bald by November. Just looking at it now compared to pictures from FAF, there's a very noticeable difference. - [[User:Captainhowdy|Captainhowdy]] 10:24, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

::Oh, this ties rather nicely into what I said about his [[CWCki:Speculation/What health problems will Chris develop first|endocrine/integumentary troubles]]. He definitely has androgenic alopecia, and the last three years have been something of a turning point for him; if you've noticed he's lost nearly all of his hair in the temples(which is where it's first lost), and about half the area in the frontal, it's at about a Norwood3 now. As to when he’ll lose the rest, well, It's hard to give a set schedule on hair loss as it's so dependent on specifics, with some individuals it retreats to a certain extent and then stabilizes(bob for instance), or it might just progress at an increasing rate. Chris definitely seems to be the later: his life style is going to have a greater impact as he ages, and his increasing body fat means that his body puts together more hormones ,DHT(hair loss skin problems) included, this has a disproportional effect because Chris seems to be sensitive to DHT(which is hereditary) and other hormones can convert to DHT but DHT can’t convert to anything else. You can see how this has worked by looking at a this from a case study standpoint: most of the loss he had from 18-26 was at the ends temples which is in line with the adult hair line men develop; past 08 though he’s lost all his hair from the temples, and afterwards started losing it in the frontal(middle forehead) at a accelerating pace, essentially we can consider that to be the full onset. If I had to give an estimate on how it’s going to progress it’d be that his hair in the temples area will have gone to his vertex in about six months, and he’ll lose the frontal in that time to a year (If you look you can see that it’s patchy in the front, which means it’s micronzing and a becomes progressively thinner every hair cycle, that's why you see it get worse every few months), the next likely point of thing is going to be at the vertex which depending on factors might take as much as a couple of years to clear out. I think you could say with confidence that he’ll have advanced alopecia by the time he’s 30, namely that the clearings in his temples frontal and vertex will have linked into one larger sea of bald.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 11:39, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*Cool story, bro. Actually, i was looking for someone to say pretty much this. That seems to fit with my prediction range nicely, so that's pretty cool. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 11:45, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:Lolk, sorry about the TLDR, a simple answer just seemed misleading. I think it's pretty interesting that Chris seems to be trying his hand at a combover, so he's probably noticed. I wonder if he's going to try meds... given how extensive his hair loss is now(temple hair has been gone too long), he'd need a transplant to reverse it.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 12:05, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
::Chris can't even go bald with dignity. The worst part is that he still thinks he has a full head of hair. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 12:12, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Trollbusters==

Hmm, I wonder where Chris is getting his Trollbuster idea from? I've poked Google and beyond a website that shuts down patents, most of the Trollbuster gatherings were failures. Which isn't totally surprising considering who we're dealing with here, but still. My guess, though, is that he's probably either a) met a group on PSN or b) decided to come up with it himself.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 08:36, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*The answer is B.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 08:41, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

** Ironically enough, the real troll busters are a group of lawyers that specialize in patent law: "[http://www.troll-busters.com/ Troll-Busters]" --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 09:52, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*** That website is as terrible as their services invaluable. ... Anyhow: given there's a Trollbusters truck with a no-trolls logo, we can assume he's riffing on the more-popular Ghostbusters for once. You'd think he'd put the no-troll logo on the t-shirt instead of a block of text, but then Chris is a lazy idiot, so! [[User:EnsignDisposable|EnsignDisposable]] 10:00, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

Next thing you know he's going to be talking about the cyberpolice and how consequences will never be the same...--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:20, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

==Alumni Class==
So I checked online and found that Chris actually has 8 accounts with the alumniclass.com website. While you don't HAVE to pay for membership ($20) they give you a limited profile where you can't really do anything if you don't pay. Chris may have paid for a number of the memberships. This is really sad for Chris because, using a limited profile, I was able to find the reunion date and place in a few seconds. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 10:27, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
* So, was Chris deliberately not invited to the reunion, or is it just that he hasn't found out about the reunion because he's a retard? [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:40, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:99% chance that those accounts are trolls. Learn to spot 'em... Besides, despite just about everyone saying they know the date/location, NO ONE has offered those bits of info. Instead of so [[ego|self-assuredly]] saying that Chris missed out and was uninvited, why don't we offer proof of this claim? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:00, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
::Fine: (edited out to avoid giving potentially valuable info away) I can even put in the contact info. I withheld it because I thought Chris might be watching this. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 11:28, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:::Well... I stand corrected, then. I'm fairly sure Chris is already well-aware of this in any case. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 11:39, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:::: November will be so cash. [[User:CaptainCanuck|CaptainCanuck]] 13:34, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
*I left a message telling him the details, but I'm not sure if he'll bother to listen to it or take it seriously. I'm still trying to get in contact with him. I may just end up calling Bob and telling him I'm Chris's former classmate and the reunion details. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 19:21, 28 August 2010 (PDT)

==Deliberately not invited?==

I wasn't "invited" to my five-year reunion because I'd moved a mile away from where I lived in high-school in the interim and I wasn't very connected socially with anyone from my class before or after. I found out about it, I showed up, I paid the $20, and that was that. I'm not sure anyone is really invited to their high-school reunion—it's put on and they're just informed of its existence. The invitation is implicit.

A more likely scenario is that no one was wont to research the current whereabouts of like 300 other people so they just organized the damned thing and didn't make it a secret. Chris might even have seen the information about it on the Internet not been able to wrap his retarded, autism-riddled brain around the idea that just because it's on the Internet doesn't make it the work of trolls just because he has a unique history of being trolled.

He might just think what many of you seem to think—that if it were a real reunion, someone would've contacted him if they wanted him to come. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 11:17, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

*You know, ''I'''d be pretty fucking paranoid if I found out that for the last two years of my life the only people I've had contact with were people who hate me and enjoy watching me fail, and that most, if not all, of the major events in my life in that period were orchestrated by said people. Just saying. --[[User:DStecks|DStecks]] 12:54, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:I guess it's true what they say, then: ''you're just like Chris.''

:No, um... what's interesting about all the trolling—at least as it's been presented publicly—is how fucking obvious it is that the trolls never act like normal people would and that despite how bluntly he's told that he's not acting right and they're not acting right, he plows forward only to be humiliated and frustrated again without ever learning any lessons about how people behave. This whole problem could be answered with a phone call: surely someone the high school staff knows about the reunion even though the school itself probably has nothing to do with organizing it, but Chris insists on barreling forward with his ridiculous YouTube videos which have never helped him before and which he has no reason to believe anyone involved's going to see, before or after the reunion because Chris and Co. go on forcefully believing the first thought that oozes into their heads and go on defending it to the death for no reason.

:tl;dr Chris consistently trusts people he shouldn't and doesn't trust people he should for no reason and this is just another indication of that. It's on and he's invited—he just refuses to acknowledge it. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 13:42, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

{{Not A Forum}}

Why is it so hard for people to sign your posts?! It's just 4 ~ in a row. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 14:08, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:Every post in this section has been signed. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 15:26, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
::And I was supposed to know that the paragraphs all belonged to you and not to a person who doesn't sign their posts....how? --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 16:51, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
:One click actually. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 15:34, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

== Real Troll Busters ==

There is an actual group called [http://www.trollbuster.com/ Troll Busters]. It's in "patent reexamination services" which I have no idea what means. Either way, the important part remains: they have a copyright and a trademark on the name Troll Busters and they are not related to internet trolls at all. Judging by his recent Modnation creations he's trying to make some franchise out of his Trollbusters. Poor dumb Chris can't even google anymore. --[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 20:37, 27 August 2010 (PDT)
: Short explanation of [[wikipedia:Patent troll|patent trolls]]: they're people who 1) make an invention or acquire a patent from someone else, 2) without saying a word, let some bigger company to make an another invention which uses the exact same technology, and 3) sue the bigger company for infringing on the little guy's patents. All this while decidedly ''not'' having plans to actually use the invention for anything themselves. A famous case: [[wikipedia:Eolas|Eolas]] vs. Microsoft on web browser plugins. --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:19, 28 August 2010 (PDT)

== New Subject Matter? ==

Should there be a new tag involving real life? I would've said high school, but even with these two recent videos, it's too early to tell if he'll continue making videos once in a while, let alone those involving the high school reunion. --[[User:Marco|Marco]] 23:03, 27 August 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-08-22T18:24:35Z

Meat Miracle: /* I will interview Chris tomorrow */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

==Hey people, how about those Mumble chats?==
I've started a "10 minutes at a time" project to finish transcribing mumbles. Transcribing sucks, but 10 minutes in one go can relieve the strain on the people transcribing. Especially since if we get 10 or more people on board, transcribing a Mumble can be finished in the space of a couple of days instead of one person over the course of 10 days. I have a couple of people on board, but it would be nice to have several more. For the specifics of how it works, go to my [[User:Fuckingstupid|user page]]. [[Mumble_7|The Mumble chat we are currently tackling is #7]]. It would be nice if anyone who has a couple spare hours a day to transcribe a simple 10 minutes. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:25, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Love Suggestion? ==
I was thinking we should add a new article on the "Chris and...." series. Perhaps "Romance"? Maybe give an insight on his idea of being romantic. I feel we could write good article on this. There's a shit load of cheesy awkward sayings. Also,an observation on his behavior on dates with trolls could be good. Just a thought. --[[User:Bealtespip122]]

* Not a bad idea. Because Chris has blurred the line between romance and sex. With him, it's one in the same. Would be interesting to poke at I think. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Aye, "romance" to him is just a means to an end. He sees act of dating as not about two people enjoying each others company, it's just to test compatibility so they can eventually fuck. Anything beyond that is just a ruse to keep the woman interested. I can't imagine him having a sincere desire to have an emotional connection with another human being, he just wants to be coddled and pleased. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:10, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*[[Love quest]] more or less seems to cover this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*I'd say the Love Quest really covers his attempts at "reelin' in da ladiez" and being thwarted by outside forces. Not so much as a personal insight into what Chris thinks is romantic or sweet. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 16:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
** Rather than being covered by the love quest page, it's just mentioned; same treatment for [[Chris and sex]]. The events of the Megan, Ivy, and Wallflower sagas tell a lot about his view of romance. Can't forget the essential McDonald's date either. Without some good writing, though, it might not make the best article. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:35, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*well he wanted to make " Date Education" apart from sex education, i think a chris and romance, detailing what he thinks is romance would be a nice add to the cwcki.---[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:13, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Fridays After Five yet again ==

This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*Good work. Mind getting some pictures next time? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:28, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
**If I get to Charlottesville again when it's going on, I'll see what I can do. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:53, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::*No pressure. It's your prerogative. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:59, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* If you're some tard trying to get attention, fuck you, die. I have to put that disclaimer in nowadays, nothing personal. If you're being TRUE and HONEST, thank you so much for reporting this, because Chris holding something that says "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" would be the most unintentionally hilarious thing that has ever happened. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:33, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Oh no, this is very real. I have another person confirming the hula hoop thing. The man zone thing is what confirms it. Yeah. It's pretty damn retarded. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:30, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Holy shit, I'm just trying to help out during a dry spell and I'm even willing to try going back and get pics, and your reaction is "fuck you, die"? May I also point out that this very site has a giant banner across the top of the main page making in very clear that they want all sightings reported? What on earth is wrong with you? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 14:12, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well, I say thanks for your assistance. Clyde confirms what is obviously good intel. Pics are nice, but hey. Nice find anyhow. Keep up the great work. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:01, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Since we have confirmation, I guess I'll add this as a sighting to the Fridays after five article. Thanks a bunch Camelopardalis.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:16, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Thanks, guys. To answer some of the "What, no pictures?!" sentiment, I went there to listen to some music and didn't really expect to see anything photo-worthy. These are local bands that usually play in bars and so on. Lots of people didn't bring cameras, especially as the band was a country-bluegrass bunch, not exactly Lady Gaga. I'll definitely have a camera along next time, just in case. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 01:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Oh, and I think I can explain the hula hoop. If you look at the pictures of Chris at FAF on July 9, the wide shots taken from inside the seats area, not the close-up one on CWCki, there's two young girls and apparently their moms using hula hoops right behind him. I know the general opinion is Chris isn't a pedo, but all it takes is some basic logic that he observed little girls hula hooping at FAF and then brought one the next week himself. Not that creepy behavior is anything new for Chris but following up the kid-photographing incident with this? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 02:09, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== "fan works purge", including TV Tropes even here ==

[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Special:Log/delete Partying like it's 1937] makes me kinda sad. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
* Meh. That Tropes "article" was one of the biggest crimes in CWCki history, and the Charles Wilbur Crushman thing was the first online item I've come across that was such a steaming pile of shit I could actually smell it. The rest I have no comment on, but there was so much selfsucking garbage on here that it justified a deletion policy, and it probably justified said deletion as well. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:48, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::Crimes against the people, I guess. Goodbye [http://www.youropinionsarewrong.com/images/random/stalin-airbrush.jpg Comrade T.V. Tropes], hardly we knew ye. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

:::The whole fan works section was a mistake in the first place. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:34, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::Counter-revolutionary nest that sabotages and opposes the creative work of the people. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:39, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::: shut up, you face [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

The fan-works thing started out as a few fun little comics and stories that where just basically bored people fucking around and satirizing Chris' shit. Then people started taking it seriously, or trying to become e-famous, or just generally being self important and retarded. The good "fan-works" can be archived and stored elsewhere, because unless it's specifically relevant to Chris or a Chris event it really doesn't belong here.

More importantly, most of the fan-works sucked metric ass, and it was bringing in a massive collection of morons that where really starting to fag up the place. Personally, I think the "fan-works purge" is the best thing to happen to the CWCki in a long time.

: I know I'm late to comment on this, but good grief, am I glad some of the stupid things I did were deleted. Was the whole purpose of the fan works section to make any contributors to realise they suck? =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:02, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

== this community portal split idea was retarded ==
a very good post by clydec age 9 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SPLIT, BRO.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:00, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

== Look what I did ==

I made a couple of userboxes. Use them, disdain/ridicule them, or improve them as you see fit.

—Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] ([[User talk:SeventhBase|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/SeventhBase|contribs]]) 
:Nice work - just enhancing your template links and signing your posts. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:20, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: no these are stupid [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::More userboxes are not really what we need right now. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:30, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== new idea for speculation ==
speculation runs high. split that up into multiple pages or something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and relationships==
Just a short idea: There are several categories regarding Chris relationships, aquaintances (for example [[Galpals|Galpals]] "Males Chris doesn't hate") orjust general people he interacted with. I think it might be beneficial to have a kind of overview regarding what people he interacted with in what timeline. Could also be linked under "friends" etc. in order to illustrate the extent of his growing social isolation and successive personal development. -- [[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:22, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== July 23 Fridays After Five ==

I was at FAF this weekend, didn't stay for the whole thing, I was gone by about 7:30 or so but as far as I could tell Chris wasn't there. Actually the whole thing was pretty dead compared to the usual turnout, especially the lawn area which was almost empty. Heat index was something like 110, so I can't blame him for staying home, unless the reason was that Chris feels he's too heavily monitored at FAF these days. I did remember one more thing about Chris at FAF last week though, he had on dark wraparound sunglasses on... UNDER his regular eyeglasses. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 22:25, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
:I guess that confirms his shades aren't prescription. Makes sense, he chose the cheapest frames available for his glasses, why would be spend the money for something expensive like prescription sunglasses? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:28, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

==Modnation Levels==
I don't suppose anybody's actually played any of Chris's levels or anything?

It's completely understandable if nobody wants to play them, given that it's Chris, I'm sure they're all garbage, but currently all we have on his modnation efforts are a bunch of tiny screencaps I took from the website. We covered all of his LBP nonsense in detail, it's kinda weird that nobody's even tried to look into his tracks.

Any intrepid PS3 owners wanna step up?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:30, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone else has suggested it already, but I've got a feeling that one of the best ways to reach (and troll) Chris right now is through ModNation, considering he probably spends most of his time there. Just track him down, join him in a game, "befriend" and chat with him... then beat him silly on his own levels and expect lulz. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 06:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure everyone would appreciate good let's-play videos of the ModNation levels (along the lines of the LBP owl level preview video). Does ModNation allow recording/playing back online matches? Dramatic replays and dreadful overanalysis of Chris's online games would be terribly appreciated. I mean, I don't watch motorsports, but microsecond-by-microsecond commentary on clumsy moves just might be worth watching. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:35, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Just a question==
Not sure it this is the right place to ask or talk about a question or if this is old news but forgive me if I am wrong about anything, but may I ask whats the deal with the Cwiki and /cwc/ fighting and every thing can't find anything about whats going?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 15:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*As far as I'm aware, there isn't anything. If you're talking about Delebonte being a fag and making a shittalk template, that doesn't have to do with /cwc/. /cwc/, as I see it, is a place where people go to talk about Chris. It's the watercooler where everyone goes to provide their own theories without threat of retribution. Cwcki is a place where facts are documented and presented. They don't really conflict, and /cwc/ doesn't really seem to be vandalising this site or anything, so I guess you just have bad information. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
Ok thanks, what I got was something about something about legi0n or who ever being mad about furrys being on the cwciki and users being blacklisted by someone but idk, I can't look a the thread right now because when ever i got to the /cwc/ I keep getting the message saying "Website Disabled". but anyway thanks for clearing this up a little for me.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 16:02, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can probably explain that one. People on /cwc/ follow most of the same "rules" as other imageboards (e.g. 4chan, 7chan, etc.) and as such tend to ban furries and stuff because they spam their boards with fetish porn. On the CWCki, this isn't an issue, and so we have a more lax set of rules. For people who don't understand the difference between the two systems, they might be led to believe that we are a furry site, when in fact we are just tolerant. I wouldn't worry about it too much. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:10, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Old News (Possible Bulbapedia incident)==

Hey, newfag here. On Bulbapedia, there was apparently a small battle over whether or not to make Sonichu as a page, with Chris (obviously) being the sole supporter. A user posted quotes from their supposed discussion here: http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/blog.php?b=15577 Considering said user had no idea who Sonichu was at the time of this discussion, or shortly before I told him a few hours earlier, I'm betting money it actually happened. Thing is, this happened in August of last year, so where should it go? - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 12:47, 30 July 2010 (EST)
:(Are you Brazilian/Portuguese by any chance?) I can't really confirm it's him. The use of "OVER 9" (like that stupid meme), incorrect use of "Your" (he's stupid, but that's not one of his quirks), NOT censoring the F-word with asterisks, as well as calling you a troll outright (though I wouldn't put it past him, frankly) and declaring the "reality" of Sonichu out in the open (he does probably believe this, but he would only insinuate it)... These are rather consistent with a copycat troll than the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan. But if we DO get a confirmation, it should go in its own article, along with a Da Update showing that new information was unearthed.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, I was born in the Philippines, grew up in America. But anyway, I doubt we'll get any sort of confirmation, Chris has most likely long forgotten about this. I suppose I can ask if any of the conversation is left, but I don't think it'll prove anything. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:10, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Well, this is the only other edit he made. "I would like you to know that Sonichu is a REAL Pokemon. I know, because I have over 9 years of canon from him and his world, and have been in talks with Nintendo to put Sonichu and Rosechu into animal crossing, and have been in talk with Sega to make a Sonichu video game. Please consider this. Thank you. I will dare to keep my dreams alive." Hmm. Yeah, from the looks of it, it appears it was nothing more than a poser. I doubt even Chris would say something like that. Of course, I'm a newfag so make of it what you will. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Chris wouldn't mention the talks with Nintendo after finding out the people behind that were trolls. Too much wounded pride.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 11:44, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
***Well, the talks with Nintendo and Sega were mentioned at 02:33, 24 August 2009 (UTC), and all the discussion in the blog started about two minutes afterward, with Chris replying at 02:58. There's also a little bit of discussion above the Sonichu topic on his user talk page, but he didn't respond to that. Here's the link to his User Talk page: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:CWCSonichuChandler, and here's the link to the other bit Chris supposedly said.: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:Evkl#Re:_Fake_Pages - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 10:56, 30 July 2010 (EST)

== Why are some people so eager to ban Chris everywhere on the Internet? ==

Including the people here on CWCki? Where's the fun in Chris crashing into PS3 slumber again? Damn, I wish Chris was allowed back to deviantART :( --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:10, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

More to the point, is there an official policy regarding stupid ass bullshit like "[[CWCipedia]] states that Chris may or may not create another account. Be sure to tip off the dA admins if he will return."? I think there should be.
*Overenthusiastic nobodies eager to 'stick it' to Chris and be the #1 trolin genious lolololo. It's quite irritating, and seems as if they have zero forethought. And I can only see this problem getting worse as time goes on and Chris becomes more mainstream. Feels bad man. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:46, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris is known to act out a lot, and on deviantART, acting out is considered trolling and it will get you banned. Also the fact that nobody wants him around. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 15:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

The same reason he gets banned from places IRL. --[[User:MoarDesu|MoarDesu]] 02:24, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

More times often than not, Chris does a good job of getting himself banned, better than the trolls at times: for example, his continued uploading of NSFW material to [[Flipnote Hatena]] damned him more than trolls could. The problem with Chris is his un realistic expectation that he is exempt to normal rules, an expectation that will continue to bite him in the ass. [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:47, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Chris's handwriting ==

Does anyone have a slightly recent example of Chris's handwriting? I just read a book on analyzing handwriting for character traits, and I want to see what I can pick out of him. Don't worry, I'll write the summary on my user page. I just need a sample. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 16:41, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:[[Chris's Letter to Blanca|2008 should be recent enough]] --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:48, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:: OK thank you. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:32, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:::The [[List of Flipnotes|Flipnotes]] should be the most recent example. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:26, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
::::The problem with those though is that they don't show pressure of his writing.

Anyways, I finished. [[User:GandWuser|Read it on my Userpage.]] --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 18:34, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

== Scripts for Sonichu TAS ==

Would it be fine to add scripts from the Sonichu Animated Series to the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:40, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
:The page is locked, so you'd have to ask an admin. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 11:46, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
::Who are the admins on the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 19:18, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
:::That would be [[User:cogsdev|these]] [[User:Clydec|fine]] [[User:Champthom|people]]. I suggest putting the scripts on your namespace until they're ready for release. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:27, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Spotted Chris at Game Stop ==

Another sighting! I went over to the GameStop at the mall and lo and behold, Christian Weston Chandler in all his glory. He was wearing jeans and plain gray shirt that was too small for him. I say too small because his chest was definitely accentuated and they came up a wee bit too shirt for a T-Shirt to be at. He was checking out the PS Triple section the majority of the time. I happened to look over my shoulder at one point and there he was, bent over with his tighty whities pulled up too far on his body, his shirt coming up rather far over his back. What he was bent over for, I have no idea. I turned back to what I was looking at and he was sighing periodically over who knows what. Then I heard, "kick da hex-box...kick da hex-box...kick da hex-box..." I had to look. He was kicking a row of X-Box games while saying it. It wasn't hard enough to knock things over, but still...what the fuuuuuck? The employee gave him a glance but didn't say anything. I'm assuming he does this on a regular basis that they just ignore him. Now that I think back on it, he was probably sighing because the PS Triple section is right next to the X-Box section and he was getting stuh-ressed that the games were touching. He left shortly after that so I was able to look at the vidya with no further disturbances.

I later decided to get a bite to eat at the Sbarros and holy shit, there was the lumberjack and the Snorlax feasting on Chick-Fil-A. They both wore baseball caps and you could definitely tell the past couple of years(or however old the most recent pictures of them were taken) haven't been kind to them. I have some unfortunate news that the Snorlax isn't as fat as she used to be(from the one picture we have). In fact, her legs were incredibly skinny. Probably even skinnier than Chris'. Her clothing looked like it hung from her loosely. She could just have the same oddly shaped body that Chris has. Either way, she didn't really look that healthy. Bob was very scruffy(probably can't shave because of his age) and shuffled around with a slight hunch. A little while later, Chris joined them before they all got up and left. Chris' underwear was bunched up over his pants and sticking out. Chris walked with his mother out, his arm around her and rubbing her back. I overheard him tell his mom, "I love you, mother." Uuuuuuh, yeeeeah. About 10-20 seconds later, Bob shuffled up behind them. And that was it. He continues to blow my mind. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 22:07, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
* Ho-Ho-Holy shiiiiiiiit...! I could understand Barb's thinness (that diet after getting sick awhile back must have been murder on her), but Chris actually kicking X-Box games while saying "kick da hex-box"? That just takes the cake! I wish I knew what was going through the storeowner's head when he saw that. Hopefully the same thing everyone else was: what the fuck?--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:13, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
*That... That's just ridiculous. And here I thought Chris was beyond things a five year old would do. No pics, I assume? :( - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 7 August 2010 (EST)
**Barb definitely has AIDS. -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 23:08, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
**This is still an eyewitness sighting of Chris, so we're going to have to update the [[August 2010]] article. Any information or sighting is helpful to us. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:09, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
*If he starts to frequent the store, look for the slightest excuse to get him banned. Anything that keeps Chris from buying more games is worth it. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 00:02, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
*ewww chris wants to do it with his mom. thats like barf central and not just because of the incest either --This post has been brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 08:54, 7 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

== chris at faf again ==

Sighted chris at fridays after five. He was wearing grey shirt, girly fitting jeans, and his trucker vest. Spotted a pokewalker on each of his hips. No rocks or hoolahoops sighted, but the highlight was him doing a sort of dance waddle/dance where he would slowly turn in circles with both of his index fingers pointed in the air. Making sheepish eye contact with random people, and revealing a very forced looking smile. When i wandered past him while he was doing this on the side grass near the bandstand I could hear him muttering/singing "do a little dance, make a little love, do a little dance, make a little love".
:No pictures, I assume? Either way, this is still helpful to us. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 11:06, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
*care to tell us how you managed to observe this scene from canada? --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 11:31, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
**Ouch. -- [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:46, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Cogs brings the smackdown. My suggestion is to treat this one as bogus until we get more confirmation. Also, sign your damn posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:58, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
I observed this with my own eyes and other sensory organs while, I did not observe this from canada as I am referring to fridays after five in c,va. Whether or not you choose to believe me is up to you. --hooplah
*Yeah, I think we all know this is bullshit. You could have tried harder, though. Also, I don't want to make two posts, so is there any real confirmation on the previous section's sighting? It seems a bit too descriptive to me, and a family outing doesn't seem like the Chandler family to me. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:37, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
**I smell a /cwc/fag --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:13, 8 August 2010 (PDT)
***1) Wut 2) You can sign your post using four tildes (~) so that you don't have to type all that shit out. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 07:01, 8 August 2010 (PDT)
*I was at FAF last week and stayed for most of it. I'm 95% sure Chris wasn't there. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 05:59, 13 August 2010 (PDT)
**Listen to this man. He's the one who spotted Chris on all those other occasions. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 09:59, 13 August 2010 (PDT)

== Was it just me... ==

Or was anyone else redirected to ads when they tried to access this adsite yesterday? I tried to get on but I couldn't. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 16:52, 8 August 2010 (PDT)
:I didn't notice anything wrong. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 17:51, 8 August 2010 (PDT)

== Regarding the Relics of Fail items... ==
I posted this a month or so ago on Champthom's usertalk page since he was the one who originally made these pages, but I figured that it might be better off here. Right now, out of 26 different relics, a total of 10 of them have the suffix "of fail". I think that the 'of fail' tag on the end of many of the items is a bit stale. Not only does it make them all seem generic and without personality, but 'of fail' just seems kind of juvenile. I'd like to start a vote to change the majority of the names to give them more flair, so they stand out more. Talked about it in IRC a few nights ago, and the consensus seemed to agree. One of the names thrown around was to change "Plush Boobs of Fail" into something along the lines of "Plush Boobs of Repressed Sexuality." Give them names that indicate their use, descriptors that tell you about the item before you even read about it. "Pokewalker of Sloth" or "Pokewalker of Inactivity". Even if the 'of fail' tag is supposed to indicate that Chris created it himself, there's no reason for the Plush Boobs and Sailor Moon Poster to have it included. Let me know what you think. [[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 21:43, 14 August 2010 (PDT)
*I second this. This site isn't ED, and should separate itself where convenient. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 23:26, 14 August 2010 (PDT)
:I disagree. The suffix has been grandfathered into CWC lore, original or not. Perhaps it's no longer necessary to append it to every new object Chris has, but I see no reason for the previous "of fails" to change. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 14:31, 15 August 2010 (PDT)

== PS3 Tracker ==
Since I'm now denigrated to normal user i guess i have to be normal i am sad.

But anyway, based off a topic I saw earlier. We do have some people who know Chris on da PS3 and can see what game is playing at what time. What we need is a tracker to keep track of how much time he has wasted. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:55, 16 August 2010 (PDT)
:I wonder if we should add a ModNation tracker. I support the idea of a greater PS3 tracker as well.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 23:29, 18 August 2010 (PDT)
:Can anyone confirm that Chris bought the PlayStation <s>Plus</s> Live Gold subscription, or does he have enough sense not to buy a $50 annual service that gives discounts to crap he already owns?--[[User:Jewlay|Jewlay]] 23:05, 18 August 2010 (PDT)

== THE CWCKI FORUM ==

So you can't get into PVCC but you're tired of getting yelled at for chatting on tlak pages? Well I have you a solution. http://cwckiforum.proboards.com is now here for you,a nd you cna talk amongst yourselves about the CWCki or weeaboo shit or anime or whatever and make your arts and have a place to show then and develop them before they get added to the CWCki itself, and all kinds of useful shit and stuff like that. So come join the cwcki forum, the only forum about the Cwcki! http://cwckiforum.proboards.com

Yeah I know the colors suck and it's not all there yet. AHM WORKIN ON IT!
[[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 13:22, 17 August 2010 (PDT)
:The color scheme is offensive to the eye. Was that intentional so discourage Chris from sticking his nose into it? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 13:25, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

I'll take that excuse for my beign shitty with color layouts. But yeah, totally to throw off chris. That's it. [[User:DrShoggoth|Dr. Herodotus P. Shoggoth :Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences, Medallion Guardian, Imperial Emu, Emeritus of the Ancient and Justified Order of the Turtle]] 13:54, 17 August 2010 (PDT)

== Chris spotted on CWCki (probably) ==

http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Special:Contributions/G0dofThunderG0dofWar --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 13:47, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
*: Still waiting for a IP address confirmation... [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 13:57, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

Most likely a troll, Chris isn't that smark with 1337 talk, and his changes are more ovbious, and clyde erased his changes immediately.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 18:44, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:Possi-Chris put a message about his user page not being public property, but a few edits made quick work of that. >:) --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 14:36, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

== I personally talked to Bob and Chris ==

Knowing that [[Bob]] and [[Chris]] would only answer if I called with a 434 area code, I got Caller ID Faker thanks to the magic of Android Marketplace. Anyways, posing as a white knight (or more correctly an anti-troll), Bob asked me if I could let you guys know that he's at the Burger King in Ruckersville daily from 9:30 to 10:30 AM, and that sometimes Chris is with him. I then called Chris on his cell phone and asked him when the next Sonichu will be released. He said "eventually."

Video coming in a minute. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 16:54, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|YswnNK09i_A}}
</center>

[[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 17:01, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:You should have grilled him on that "eventually" part, and told him that if he was serious about Sonichu's success, he would update it more regularly. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:25, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

:So Bob talks about having no axe to grind and tries to coax the trolls away from their computers. Sounds like he's quite taken with his internet persona. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 18:02, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

== I will interview Chris tomorrow ==

What should I ask him? [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 17:33, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:Details regarding "trolls hacked my bank accounts!" --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 17:39, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:Grill him on that "eventually" part he said in the last call. Tell him that if he was serious about Sonichu, he wouldn't go months at a time without updating. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 17:39, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:Today's big news in the gaming world was the ps3 hack. Given Chris's attachment to the ps3, you could ask him if he's heard about it and what he thinks about it. --[[User:Silomentality|Silomentality]] 18:02, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

:: Definitely the information regarding his allegedly hacked back accounts. If you can disguise it as a different number, tell them your part of Best Buy's fraud investigation department, and ask for details concerning the incident. If Chris feel's he talking to someone who can actually fight back against trolls, he'll be willing to tell you everything. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 18:09, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:::How his parents reacted when they found out about the Game Place incident and what happened with the police. Also possibly ask him about his future (if there's any games he's looking forward to, etc) that could preoccupy him and keep him off the internet like Modnation Racers is currently. Did he agree to an interview with you already or are you hoping he'll answer again? --[[User:Straw|Straw]] 18:41, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:::*I'm hoping he'll answer again. He answered the first time, so I'm guessing he'll answer a second time. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 19:38, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
:If you get Bob again, ask him about his career with Western Electric and his inventions. Someone on his talk page on here thinks he assisted in the installation of the first automated telephone switchboard. If he did, that's more impressive than his plastic molding controls that Chris loves to talk about. [[User:KarryLing|KarryLing]] 21:37, 19 August 2010 (PDT)
::I actually suggested that due to the time Bob worked for WE being around the same time of the automatic switchboard (due to his mention of an automatic device related to telephony before, with it possibly being WE's first truly electronic switchboard, the 1ESS), and considering the only other major test was in Illinois in 1960 by Bell Labs, it might have been WE's first major installation, and Chris's mind probably thought plastic molding controls were more exciting than the switchboard and simply forgot Bob ever mentioned it. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 22:28, 19 August 2010 (PDT)

As a dedicated member of the TRUE and Loyal Fanbase, ask him where you can read the Sonichu comics, of course. Also, when will he finish the Videobooks of the last issues. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 00:31, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

:* This is a good point. Some kind of subtle mention that the only place on the internet hosting the Sonichu website are the dirty trolls (maybe with a mention that you hate going to the site because of the lies they spread), just to make certain he knows the comics aren't anywhere else on the internet. --[[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 07:22, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

A smarter man may be able to put 2 and 2 together, and think you're a troll for knowing about the bank stuff, since he hasn't released anything about it. (beat panel) Remember, we don't know for sure what happened with those accounts, so don't feed him a line about trolls doing it, stay vague like just "Your father mentioned something about a bank account; what actually happened?", and let him answer for himself. --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 01:54, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

I want to ask him something, but all I can think of doesn't relate to finding out more info about him, just his opinion on stuff he likes (like the new Gen 5 [[Pokemon|pokeymanz]]). Is that OK? (Yes, I know I fail so hard.) --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 07:53, 20 August 2010 (PDT)
*That's fine. I'm actually going to ask him a few questions like that myself. I'm also going to ask him what he likes to do when he's not on the internet, which may help with trolling efforts. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 08:49, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

I've got ten questions so far:
*What happened with the bank account hacking?
*What future video games are you looking forward to?
*What did your father invent and do when he worked with Western Electric, and did he really assist in the installation of the first automated telephone switchboard?
*Are there any places other than the CWCki that host your comics?
*What are your thoughts on Pokemon Black and White?
*What are your favorite things to do when you're not on the internet?
*What's an average day for Chris?
*In Sonichu 3, there's a character named "[[Merried Seinor Comic]]. What does his name mean? (I had trouble thinking of another question)
*Is there more than just an intake survey in your [[Autism papers]]?
*If you were really serious about Sonichu, wouldn't you update more frequently?
[[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 09:47, 20 August 2010 (PDT)
:Those will work just fine. Make sure you save all the hardest questions for last, otherwise he will just shut down. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 10:11, 20 August 2010 (PDT)
::Perhaps ask how his sweetheart search is going? Has he found anyone (not likely)? Or does he have his sights on some poor unlucky women? -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 10:22, 20 August 2010 (PDT)
::*Added that to the list. I'll be interviewing him in a few hours. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 10:25, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

Hm, the only thing I'd change is "hacking", that's still feeding him a line of 'somebody else is involed,' and save it for when he becomes more open and likeley to tell (say on accident) the truth; "I heard mentioned that there was an overdraft on your credit card; did you spend too much, or what happened?" --[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 12:40, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

Do you have any idea when you will be able to post a recording? --[[User:Dalkalopagus|Dalkalopagus]] 14:05, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

Crud, I wish I would've been able to find this earlier. I was going to suggest one that I'm sure is on everyone's minds, but I might as well post here:

Did Chris (or is he still planning to) go to his HS reunion? And if yes, did he ever get the chance to dance with Tiffany Gowen? --This post brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 14:49, 20 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

*No luck yet. I called him several times, each time using a 434 area code. His phone is on, but it's either silent or he doesn't have it with him. Or he doesn't want to answer. I will try again in an hour. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 14:58, 20 August 2010 (PDT)

If you're going to pose as a TRUE and HONEST fan, you should ask lots of questions about the comic and maybe then a couple about CWC himself, when he's off guard. [[User:Eamoo|Eamoo]] 09:55, 21 August 2010 (PDT)
:This is what I said. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:19, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

*No luck yesterday either. I called three times late in the afternoon and still no answer. I'm going to try again today. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 11:24, 22 August 2010 (PDT)

== Magi-chan spin off comic ==

It's too bad that Chris has been quiet lately, so I've starting up a little project to see if I can get some life out of him. Since he's not updating the comic anymore I've "claimed ownership" and have started putting up pages on a deviant art account http://thefatestpat.deviantart.com/

Chris actually lives pretty close to me. I know he likes to call people out, and if he does so with me I can actually go meet him. Spread the word about the new "owner" of Sonichu and we can get some new trolling fun going.
:Since you live near him, you should make a flier advertising your spin-off and slip it in his mailbox. Make sure it gives you credit for his characters. Chris'll flip his shit if he thinks someone's begun an ad campaign for a FALSE and DISHONEST version of his characters. Bonus points if it manages to convince him that you've achieved IRL fame with the project. You could write it as an advertisement for a fan club for your spin-off or something. Like you have this huge fan base that are making fliers and trying to increase your fame for you. [[User:Abyssal|Abyssal]] 14:50, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

:: If you do that, be sure to specify that it is the 'Official' spin off. After all, Chris has demonstrated it's possible to 'claim' other peoples characters if they lie (like Chris is currently doing by claiming to work on the comic) and make them your official character. -- [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 16:32, 21 August 2010 (PDT)

CWCki:General

2010-08-20T21:58:20Z

Meat Miracle: /* I will interview Chris tomorrow */

2010-06-07T23:13:44Z

Meat Miracle:

Fool that I am, I think I might actually transcribe this... [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 03:31, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*I will take the second half of DIS BITCH. This is an urge I cannot control. Also what the fuck Chris is fucking stalking Snyder now goddammit.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:58, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Sorry, I finished it up before I saw your update. I sincerely apologize if you listened to any of this shit unecessarily. [[User:Dkaien|Dkaien]] 04:06, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You did a good job! I did do some transcribing before I realized you had finished it, but honestly I needed the practice anyway.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== To do ==

Add Michael Synder's comment from YouTube that sparked this (see Da update for it). --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:32, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
* Done. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 04:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

== Rename dis bitch ==
If a video does not have a proper name, you name it after the date it went up. This should be "6 June 2010". What is so goddamn hard about this?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Whathisname usually figures out how to treat shit, that's why I named it that. That's why. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 04:02, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Now that I know Champ made the page, I feel bad about my first comment.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 06:03, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*You are forgiven, my son. Happens to the best of us.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:21, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==I'LL RUN YOU OVER DEAD==

This is the second time that we know of that Chris has tried to commit vehicular homicide. I get the feeling that at this rate, he's going to get himself <s>v@</s> V& by the end of the year. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 07:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Chris is going to be vat'd, huh? -[[User:Brofose|Brofose]] 10:00, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::*Probably. They need to do ''something'' to get the stank out of him. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 10:44, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::*Still - this is only one version of the events. For all we know he could be exaggerating the entire situation - but I like to think we get the TRUE and HONEST version of events sometimes. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 12:23, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==Add to relevant article?==
"Right, if I had the right mind, I would send, I would give him a charge of verbal, serve him a charge of verbal harassment!"
This right after he tried to take a picture of some guy to use as a dartboard, drove (presumably) drunk, took pictures without the person's consent, nearly ran two people over, and then thought he could bitch about it on the internet. Is this Chris and Law or Chris and Reality? [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 14:56, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

The key theme here is that it's innocent behavior when Chris does it. I suggest Chris and Hypocrisy or Examples of Chris's Ego.
[[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:01, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
Although this definitely merits mention on Chris and the Law as well, as prime evidence of his mentality that the law is not meant for punishing him in any circumstance. [[User:CWCspatcher|CWCspatcher]] 15:04, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
*Not to mention Death Threats.--[[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|EdtheHedgehog1894]] 11:25, 7 June 2010 (EST)

==Stalking==

According to Wikipedia, which is always right, "[s]talking can be defined as the willful and repeated following, watching, and / or harassing of another person." Chris has been banned from the The GAMe PLACe. He's gone back repeatedly, each time being told to leave and never come back. He admitted to planning to go willfully back this time in order to watch and photograph Michael Snyder. It's not necessarily a crime, but it does seem to constitute stalking by a reasonable definition. I just think it should be noted that it's not just troll puffery to call it that. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:54, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==Snyder's input==

Any chance we can get a hold of Mike and get his side of the story? He might appreciate it too if we got that and put it up here so everyone and his grandmother doesn't call and ask him. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 17:07, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:I sent him a message on Youtube, if I get a response (unlikely) I'll screencap it and add it to the article. If anyone knows a more direct way to contact him, it would be great to get the whole story from him.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 19:40, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Perhaps Mimms or Lucas would know a way of getting ahold of him. Of course, you'd need to get ahold of Mimms or Lucas first, but that would seem to be an easier feat considering their past cooperation with certain websites. --[[User:shearod|shearod]] 22:36, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::I'm in the process of asking Mimms if he knows anything about this. I'll post what I find. [[User:Meat Miracle|Meat Miracle]] 23:13, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

==At the bar with a Bud and a DS==

I was re-reading the transcript of the video when these little things starting nagging me; who goes in a bar with a DS and why it sounds oh-so-familliar coming from Chris? Then, I had an insight; is there a possibility that Chris found in bars a new prowling ground for his "Love-Quest"? He had the same attitude at the local McCrap and Target but without the alcohol.[[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 17:11, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Maybe he's taking his parent's approach of meeting da ladies. After all, Barb and Bob met at a bar. -[[User:DrunkenDemomang|DrunkenDemomang]] 16:25, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
::Maybe he'll finally meet his sweetheart at the same age as Bob, when both parties out out of their prime and desperate enough. Of course, it would take a ''really'' desperate girl to get with Chris. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 20:29, 7 June 2010 (UTC)
:::Don't be silly. Chris won't live anywhere near as long as Bob has so far. I predict he'll die of a heart attack in his mid fifties. Maybe forties. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:41, 7 June 2010 (UTC)