CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and sex

2010-11-14T18:57:58Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (a.k.a. "hanky-panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl, as he admitted in a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart.

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high-school sex education, plus pornography. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, though he sticks by them religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies sound exactly like attempts to re-create what he's seen in porno movies, as opposed to any experience human beings might actually find pleasurable. Take for instance his assumption that [[Kacey]] would get off on a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face. Additionally, Chris seems to believe that while having sex, his partner's egg can [[Pregnant Act|go inside his dick and impregnate him]]. And that he'll give birth to [[Li'l Chris|a bear]].

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in ''Sonichu'' is a contradiction in terms (although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], Chris manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position — [[Chris and Sex#Chris in the act|with himself on top]]). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards women. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Marianas Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes […]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex and/or a girlfriend.
* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around eleven). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. \Sixteen was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
* Going with the above, in the "[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]", Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "[[hanky panky]]" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the Mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form (this would support the furry argument). Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref> It is unknown what qualities and traits he considers "sexy" for a dog.
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been some exceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]), but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He has also admitted to being aroused by said drawings.<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit. </ref> Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. It has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between April and July 2010, under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris decided to offer himself up as a male escort. He describes himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", and with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[http://www.escorts.com/member/2716193/CarlosChantor "Carlos Chantor" profile on escorts.com]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and autism ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him over [[Mumble]]. He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves girl-on-girl. He can't empathize with the parties involved, and only sees it in terms of how disgusting ''for him'' it would be to watch.

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly. Chris has said that him and his mother spoon often. Also that he has dreamt of his mother as an Egyptian belly dancer, and once had a sexual dream about his mother that resulted in him nutting the bed.

<center>
{{Infobox/Audiofile
| name = Chris's Incestuous Sex Dreams
| audio = {{#ev:youtube|GxGU4nSlX0M}}
| Stardate = 4 October 2010
| Featuring = [[Trolls]]
}} </center>

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody. So stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the Megan saga all the way to PandaHalo.
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Chris and sex

2010-11-10T22:51:46Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Incest */ - Chris ain't an "only child", see cole smithy.

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sex''' (a.k.a. "hanky-panky"), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on [[Wikipedia:HBO|HBO]] around age 16. He views pornographic films as "educational" and regularly purchases [[sex toys]] from AdamEve.com.

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his world, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl, as he admitted in a set of [[Jackie e-mails Part 2|emails]] to a potential sweetheart.

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary high-school sex education, plus pornography. This has engendered many false impressions in Chris, though he sticks by them religiously. Readers who brave his sex chat logs should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies sound exactly like attempts to re-create what he's seen in porno movies, as opposed to any experience human beings might actually find pleasurable. Take for instance his assumption that [[Kacey]] would get off on a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face. Additionally, Chris seems to believe that while having sex, his partner's egg can [[Pregnant Act|go inside his dick and impregnate him]]. And that he'll give birth to [[Li'l Chris|a bear]].

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spread an imaginary vagina a yard across, and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina aren't outstandingly painful. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in ''Sonichu'' is a contradiction in terms (although in the [[For Julie's Eyes Only|Julie video]], Chris manages to do something like this by penetrating [[Kimmi]] while assuming a cowgirl position — [[Chris and Sex#Chris in the act|with himself on top]]). He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew slogan parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride his broken penis. He thinks that his virginity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] a whole fucking lot will ultimately make him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology. While he ''may'' have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards women. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are already paired up, lesbians, or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a fat, dumpy psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and followed by the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|shit]] mixed with [[AXE]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if females are from another planet, they are still classified as ''[[Homo]] sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual in Marianas Trench-deep denial. This can be explained by his autism and lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues, but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: But I say to you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Christian Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it ("I like dykes […]"). This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on not losing his virginity until a [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true sweetheart (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Christian Bible also frowns upon pornographers and sodomites, both sins of which he is guilty and holds no visible remorse. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK. In his defense, he did used to drink his own [[semen|cum]], so that the seed of his loins wouldn’t get lost à la Onan (but he probably doesn't know about that, so it's still just him being stupid). It should be noted that by doing this, he is technically eating his own [[Crystal|children]]. It is still uncertain whether he enjoys the taste of his semen, or whether he is too retarded to realize that Onan was punished for not doing God's will (by practicing the withdrawal method instead of impregnating his sister-in-law.) Whatever the reason, it's hilarious.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to a very liberal church, and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]]. When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by the trolls, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine. Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a woman sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on internet [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)|the video]] of his first full sexual intercourse. When interrogated over the desire of his partner's legitimate desire of intimacy, he merely added that he would simply [[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line|hide cameras]], record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public. This proves that for Chris, a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy, existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a homo).

Chris's view of [[Wikipedia:cunnilingus|cunnilingus]], put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|this video]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina in the same way a dog would slobber over his master. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris (if he even knows what ''that'' is).

He takes an extremely long time to orgasm in these leaked media, suggesting that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (possibly from his bent duck, fat ass, lack of endurance) or psychological (possibly performance anxiety, high expectations, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature. Some argue that based on such leaked media, Chris may not actually enjoy sex as a manifestation for expressing love or even for physical sensations, but in a more childlike way of getting some psychological satisfaction from doing something "naughty" and "adult." He only wants to have sex so that he won't be a [[virgin with rage]] anymore, and can be regarded as "normal."

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
There is a possibility that Chris is asexual, and only emphasizes his being STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active and heterosexual. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance. He genuinely could not understand the appeal of most sexual activity, and just "goes through the motions." This would also explain why it appears as if he's uncontrollably horny all the time, as being fixated on sex with females means he's a straight adult. He also seems to have the perception that sex is a rite of passage, and that you cannot be regarded as an adult until you lose your virginity.

*He started his search for love at 21, an age when most men have already had sex and/or a girlfriend.
* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of sixteen, while most men figure it out once they hit puberty (around eleven). Which would mean that either he had no libido or sexual interest in girls... or he's too stupid to figure out how to diddle himself. \Sixteen was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex, not through physical sensation, but through an external source, in this case HBO's softcore films.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate" (which is both ironic and stupid, as he wouldn't be able to reciprocate any companionship received, and who would want to be in a relationship with someone who ''isn't'' "caring and compassionate"?).
* Going with the above, in the "[[Story of My Love Quest Days]]", Christian states that he does not want a girlfriend for "[[hanky panky]]" but instead: "I need a Girlfriend, ''Solely'' for LOVE and TRUST!" [Emphasis added] Then again, this could just be his attempt at looking gentlemanly, and totally ''not'' perverted and sexist.
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, this makes him not a homo. He's not trying to molest girls and chase them around with a sign out of sexual desire, but rather out of a desire to be seen as either "straight" and/or "adult".

However, some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, [[high-functioning autistic]] and hugbox inventor [[Wikipedia:Temple Grandin|Temple Grandin]] chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a [[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles|big boy]]. He hasn't grasped (and probably never will) that adulthood also involves such things as moving out, getting a job, and not sitting in one's room waiting for [[Monthly tugboat|Mommy Government]] to hand one everything.

When asked about it in the [[Mailbag 26#Chris and asexuality|mailbag]], Chris clarifies that he "[gets] an ERECTION when [he sees] WOMEN STRIPPING, or are already NAKED." The letter in question didn't actually ask whether or not Chris himself is asexual, but rather his opinion on asexual people.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he refers to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should [[Jackie e-mails Part 3|not label him as asexual]] (and misses her point completely). It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as homosexuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the Mailbag responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Bestiality==
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan]]]]
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form (this would support the furry argument). Technically, this isn't bestiality. They're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. Chris, however, is a man, or more properly a man-child, masturbating while drawing pictures of animals having sex with each other. That ain't normal.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref> It is unknown what qualities and traits he considers "sexy" for a dog.
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated, with people arguing that he doesn't participate in the furry community, and probably only draws furry porn because he is a creature of habit and is more used to drawing furry porn than human porn. There have been some exceptions (namely [[ShecameforCWC.JPG]] and [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]), but nearly all Rule 34s he has drawn depict some furry creatures having sex. He has also admitted to being aroused by said drawings.<ref>[7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit. </ref> Chris has also used his hedgehog fursona while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref>CWC Cums for a Cat</ref> In the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. It has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>

Another possible theory is, since Chris seems unable to mention the basic terms describing sexual action (see "china," "duck," etc.), the use of fursonas allows him to present sexual material in a cartoony, rather than realistic, fashion. This is possibly necessary for him given his childish understanding of the world and incapability to use big boy words to refer to adult matters.

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch[sic] on Craigslist, the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about Jack and my PSN account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his virginity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of 2009, Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a Virgin with Rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th birthday. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between April and July 2010, under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris decided to offer himself up as a male escort. He describes himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", and with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref><ref>[http://www.escorts.com/member/2716193/CarlosChantor "Carlos Chantor" profile on escorts.com]</ref>

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, has appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. She's even the damsel in distress he rescues (anticlimactically) from the forces of evil like a love interest, while Chris's supposed real love interests all died hideous deaths. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his Sonichus are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and autism ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone, the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him over [[Mumble]]. He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves girl-on-girl. He can't empathize with the parties involved, and only sees it in terms of how disgusting ''for him'' it would be to watch.

Factor in that Chris is uncomfortably close with his mother and things start to get a little eerie. As has been mentioned before, Chris's ideal sister, wife, and daughter are essentially the same person, often described as "a mommy he can fuck." Since Chrissy ain't precisely what you'd call a master of subtext, even if he's not into incest the feel of it has suffused the comics and his life quite thoroughly.

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody. So stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the Megan saga all the way to PandaHalo.
{{incomplete}}

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

==Sauce==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Jackie E-mails 20

2010-11-08T23:10:50Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

This page lists emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 28 [[October 2010]] to 5 [[November 2010]].

{{Email|October 28, 2010 - 3:09pm

You're missing the point. My point is that you told me you would do the videos, no problem. You lied to me. THAT is my problem. Isn't [[Lies|your lying]] the main thing that has ended all your previous relationships? Yet you still do it constantly. You still think you can just effortlessly lie your way out of any situation you find uncomfortable, regardless of the sheer number of times your own lies have gotten you in trouble or ruined a relationship you were trying to create.

You say that you still have hang-ups against [[Alec]] that are "beyond your knowledge". That is a cop-out answer. The point of talking to Alec is so you can figure out why you're still mad at him. We talked about that already. And if you're allowed to hold grudges against Alec and [[Michael Snyder]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh]] for absolutely no fucking reason beyond you're too lazy to change, why should I be expected to take the risk of changing MY feelings and putting aside my misgivings about your devotion? These October videos are supposed to be your way of proving to me that you really care about me and can actually DO something to show it instead of just repeating the same words over and over. I gave you this contest as a compromise so you could prove your love to me without having to give up your [[PS3]], remember that? I went out of MY way to give YOU that compromise, and yet you STILL complain about every little bit of effort I ask you to do. And then you go and say you have to "put up with a lot from me".

By the way, I wrote to Alec and he responded to me only a couple minutes ago, and he said he hasn't received any email from you in months. So did you lie to me about that, too?

Do you see yet? My chief problem with you is that you lie. You lie. You LIE. ALL THE TIME.

Well, then... I don't want [[HairDifference|your greasy hair video]]. I still want [[SpaghettiRoutine|a cooking video]] because as a house husband you are suppose to cook your beloved ME meals. I want you to get some playdough or model magic or something (must be three different colors, use what you've got or go get some at the dollar store) you can MAKE BELIEVE and perform a pretend cooking segment. I want you to line up all his stuffed animals as an audience, pan to the "audience" on occasion, and shape that playdough into dinner. SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL DINNER. Describe what you're doing, and talk about how you'd want me to feed you it… than giggle and ask for a Bib because it's messy :D Then, at the end, I want to see you "eat" the meal JUST LIKE COOKIE MONSTER. Smush it all over, because you love it and me so much!

So give the contest your all, Chris. You've only got a few days left.

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 29, 2010 - 8:28pm

Hey Chris. How's it going? I haven't heard from you at all today. I hope you aren't still kicking yourself because you lied to me, I don't want you to feel like you have to shut yourself off from me because of that. I mean, yeah, it hurt me when I found out, and I'm sure you felt bad about telling all these lies. But we need to get past it and just let it be over and done with.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing the videos! What did Alec say when you told him you were doing the parade pages? All he gave me was confirmation that you wrote him, he didn't give any other details on your conversation. Are you going to the library tomorrow then to upload them all? I can't wait!!

XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 30, 2010 - 12:02am

Firstly, I have not lied to you; when I said it was cool on the videos, reference the [[SpaghettiRoutine|Spaghetti]], I was under the fact of an idea of access to the stove and ingredients at the time. I tried to get ingredients, and I tried to clear the junk away from the stove, all without getting my parents too informed of the video-recording resons behind it all. Not only was I unable to relocate the junk, but my family brought home a meal-sized spaghetti and meatballs frozen dinner instead of individual ingredients. I Mis Spoke; I did not lie. I Mis Spoke.

Same thing on [[Book10Replacement|the 9 replacement pages]]; I said Okay, because I knew truthfully I can do that on the ideas I had so far. But then I read the suggestion on the freakin' parade for Alec, I felt infuriated and frustrated. Speaking of which, I will forward you Alec's two e-mails and my reply. I have realized that aside from the past forgiven reasons on his drawn works, I still feel against him, because he's [[Homos|gay]], has [[Aspergers]], and is a [[JERKS|male]]. Further explained in my reply to him I just wrote to him.

Anyway, you will have all of the videos on my YouTube this afternoon.

I'll TTYL. Stay safe and Sweet, and I am sorry for getting angry with you in that e-mail from Wednesday.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Lots of Love,
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 30, 2010 - 3:39pm

Chris, I have a lot to say, so make sure you read every word of this.

Um, yes you did lie. You lied to me. Why are you bringing up the spaghetti video? You know the lie I was talking about was whether you were going to do the parade comic pages. You told me you would, then you told Samantha you wouldn't. There's a lie in there somewhere. And I see in the email you sent him that you asked him to bail you out and get me to back off of the comic page idea. So obviously you meant it when you told Samantha you wouldn't do it.

And then you DIDN'T do it. I told you to do a parade comic, and you said this:
"I'll do all of that for you, but with such tall orders, It'll be
Saturday when I'll drive to the library again and upload them all."
That's a quote from you. You said you'd do the videos as I ask. But that was a lie. You never meant to do the parade comic. You just decided to redo the comic exactly the same as before, with Alec and his friends being found guilty for doing nothing wrong.

And about that: you're telling me that it's okay to keep hating Alec because... you're a close-minded bigot. Is that supposed to make me feel good? You've had months to get over all this. Talk to him like a man already. He doesn't deserve this hatred from you. And you actually tried to get HIM to lie to me for you and tell me to give up on the comic pages? After all the vile things you said to him, you actually asked him for a favor. Do you even understand that relationships are a two-way street? That you can't treat someone like pure shit for no reason and then ask them to do nice things for you? Do you get that at all? Or do you think that because he's MALE that makes him bad and that he automatically owes you something? You say trolls are awful people, but you feel perfectly fine about continuing to torment this guy for no reason. And apparently the love of a girl like me isn't worth overcoming your childish anger for.

Why did you even bother asking him to tell me to back off of the parade thing when you weren't going to bother doing it anyway? You obviously didn't care whether I wanted it or not, you just weren't going to do it.

And you also lazily cut corners on virtually every other video, despite saying "I'll do all of that for you":
-You only scrubbed one tiny section of tile in your shower, even though I told you to do it from top to bottom. And don't tell me that you wouldn't have time to film it all if you did, because you didn't film yourself cleaning it at all, so the time it took to clean wouldn't matter. You just said you could do the whole thing "if you had to". If you won't do it when your girlfriend repeatedly asks you to, what WILL make you do it?
-You "mimed" doing the spaghetti, even though I told you to use clay or playdough or something like that instead. You have plenty of that stuff, I know you do. Or you could have bought some at the dollar store.
-You didn't wear a sari or put the dot on your head or anything for [[WelcometoBollywood|your Bollywood video]], it was just you in [[Muscle bra|a bra]]. You could have just used a bedsheet or something.
-The comic was not only completely NOT what you said you would do, and was NOT at ALL what I wanted, but most of it wasn't even colored in. You had five days since I asked you to do it to draw and color nine pages.

I have to bring up once AGAIN that this whole contest was a compromise. MY compromise. For YOU. You won't get rid of your stupid video game for me, so rather than let that break us up, I decided to come up with this contest instead. That way you could keep your precious video game, and I could still see some proof that you love me. But what do I get? You fail to upload videos on time. You wouldn't even make a drive to the library to upload them for WEEKS until after the 100th time I asked you to give a shit about giving me my videos. You cut corners in your videos. You refuse to do any video that causes the least bit of "stress", despite the woman you claim to love asking you to do it for you. You won't make the parade comic for me. It's not even about fucking Alec, it's about ME. I AM THE ONE THAT WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, NOT HIM, AND YOU STILL DECIDED I WASN'T WORTH DOING IT FOR.

You know Chris, I wouldn't be so frustrated if you would just ADMIT when you have done something wrong to me. But no, you have to rationalize your way out of it every chance you think you've got, even when it's so obvious what you did. You sit there and tell me that you love me more than your video games but you won't give them up. What else matters more than I do, Chris? Does your petty grudge against people like Alec Benson Leary matter more than me? Looks like it does, since you won't do the comic I asked for. Stop SAYING words that don't mean anything and DO what I ask you to instead, then maybe I'll believe you.

I'm going to be honest with you, Chris. [[Lars]] contacted me recently. He wants me back. At first I was going to say no, I definitely wouldn't want him back because I had something better. But after seeing how you try to cut corners with the girl you "love" and do the least possible effort to win her over, I'm starting to have my doubts. You know what Lars said he did? He burned all his boats. Every last one of them. Says he doesn't need them anymore, that I am more important than they are. And he burned them before even contacting me, before even knowing what my answer would be, because he knew that even if I didn't take him back his life will still be better for overcoming his addiction. Would YOU be willing to get rid of your PS3 for me? Oh wait, we've answered that question. No, you wouldn't.

You failed this contest, Chris. I gave you every leeway possible and you still failed it because you didn't feel motivated enough to put down your video games long enough to do a good job and do what I ask of you. But I'm going to give you one more chance. I'm going to call you soon, and I'm going to have Lars on the phone with me. I want you to debate with Lars over why you think you're a better partner for me than he is. I'm telling him the same terms apply to him. I'll be listening to the call as it happens. All you have to do is prove that you can be a better partner than Lars will be. He won't be rude or insulting, he'll be polite and on his best behavior - I'm making him, he knows if he gets immature then I'll get rid of him - so you'd better be on your best behavior, too. I want to hear two adults talking, not two children.

I'll write back soon to discuss when we can make this call happen, it will be within the next few days. If you really love me, you'll do it, I don't care which of your favorite TV shows the call might interrupt.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 31, 2010 - 8:27am

Well, I have read and understood what you wrote. Firstly, let me just say I was in shock about what I read. Second, I am sorry for cutting corners. I am sorry for not making a parade for Alec; I did not feel at ease with myself on drawing a parade. I am sorry for telling Alec to call off the parade thing when I as not going to do it anyway. I am sorry about not wearing a sari or a bead on my head; I had forgotten those two details, but I had written down that you wanted the Bollywood video, and I did it in my bra. I had real spaghetti; I offered some to the camera; I mde like a pig (a small pig, perhaps) and troghed it and got the sauce on my face. I really, truly Love and Care about you, Jackie. I am notthe world's "perfect" man, but I did what I was able to do and draw; it was not all that easy, mentally, to me. I'm going to church in a bit, but I will converse with you and Lars over the phone later, and I will be most mature about it. Just let me know the area code to watch for on my caller ID, and the approx. time.

TTYL,
I Love You,
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 31, 2010 - 1:23pm

I'll let you know a little bit later when I'll be able to make the call happen. In the meantime, thank you for realizing how hurt I was by your lies and cutting corners. You know what I'd really love? I'd love you to remake the parade pages the proper way for me, as a sign of your apology :)

Talk to you soon,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 1, 2010 - 3:40pm

I'm still wating to hear back on the call details or when you'll be in [[Charlottesville|CVille]] for our meet and dates.

Straght up, I have drawn my replacement pages; I am not going to draw a parade for Alec. But I wll apologize to him for the way I have felt about him, and I will reprogram my mind to dislike him less.

Something else on my mind; it has come to my attenton that I end up pausing to keep my train of thought going from time to time. And confidentally, I have realized with that, I am mentally slow,or to put it in the other, more insulting to me term, retarded. Big whoop-de-do reason why I take time thinking about details and things. I have in the past hurt myself metaphorically, and hurt other's feelings, because my instinct responses were not all the best chosen. But I am a smart person, and I am well-educated. Ths s also why looked up to Sonic the Hedgehog as my lifelong hero, because he's not only quck in the feet, but also in the head. I may have missed a detal or two when I made the videos, but I still made them; it took me time to think on how I was to make them. But I still made them For You, because I care a Lot about you, Jacklyn.

Also, ths may be a bad idea to bring this up, but after thinking about it, I feel it is in your best interest out of my care for you to bring it up. Lars has hurt you before, Jacklyn. He OTC Abortion Drugged your coffee and killed the first growing life inside you. fear that f you went back to him, he may do it again, or even worse. Plus he may be lying about burning his boats; he may have said that, but he may only be saying it in an attempt to one-up himself over me. You told me so yourself before; Lars is NO Good. And as your caring boyfriend, I have to agree and remind you in warning.

I will still have the phone conversation if you stll feel it is for the best.

I worry and care about you a lot, Jackie. I Love You.

Stay Safe and Sweet. TTYL,
Christian.}}

{{Email|November 1, 2010 - 4:05pm

So you "love" me, but you won't do the comic pages the way I want. Or do anything else for me that is even a little bit uncomfortable. You won't put aside your feelings and do something I want. I guess that shows what option you'll take any time in the future when faced with a choice between my happiness and your own.

You say you "may have missed a detal or two when I made the videos, but I still made them". So does that mean you are retracting your admission that you cut corners to be lazy? Doesn't matter much whether you do or not, I know that's what you did. I told you repeatedly that getting the details right was every bit as important as making the videos themselves. You make up things like "I am not expected to make videos exactly to the letter", even though I'M the one doing the expecting, and I told you that being exact was a requirement. You just keep making up these little excuses and deciding that's how reality is, even though your made-up reality doesn't come close to being true.

I have proof of Lars burning the boats, he showed me a video of doing it himself. Unlike you, he hasn't dropped all his money and priorities and gone and replaced them in a matter of days like you did with your PS3, so that's another strike against you there. Also, considering the sheer number of lies you've told me in the past week, I don't think you're in a position to be calling him a liar.

Anyway, I don't mean to say this to throw it in your face. I just think it's stuff you should use to help prepare yourself for [[Lars Call|the call]]. I've arranged it with Lars for this Wednesday night at 10:30 sharp. Be ready.

Jackie}}

{{Email|November 2, 2010 - 9:39pm

Hey Chris, I haven't heard from you today. Just making sure you'll be available for the call tomorrow night?

Jackie}}

{{Email|November 3, 2010 - 5:00pm

Chris, have you even been checking your email? I need to know whether you're going to answer if I call you tonight or not.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|November 4, 2010 - 10:40am

I'm sorry for not checking my e-mail lately, and I was up last night at 10:30 with my cell phone on full ring volumn, waiting for your call. And you dd not call. I thought it was obvious that unless I tell you otherwise, go ahead and call. But you dd not call. Aside from that and the disappointment of not getting your expected call, I felt like shit already from you continuing to call me a liar; I have told you mostly the truth, and the rest of time were MisSpeaks. And How did you think I was going to feel after reading your response after the e-mail I sent you a few days ago caringly reminding you of Lar's horrendous deed and what he may do unto you in the future if you went back to him regardless of his sunken battleships? I felt I was "up a creek without a paddle" in this relationship, and I felt really down on myself between hat and my realization of the fact I am retarded often.

I just don't know anymore. I have done a Lot for you, and all I seem to mostly get is gripe and little appreciation from you for my efforts.

I care a LOT about you, Jacklyn Romy, but this relationship appears to be on its rockiest of rip tides to me. Mainly it is up to you on the decision of staying with a considerably [[Slow-in-the-minds|slow-minded]], [[honest]] man who would show you a ton of care and affection, or going back to the ex who killed his own seed in your womb and may do worse than that (granted there are other details about that relationship I may or may not be aware of).

I am feeling really down and crestfallen on myself right now. You think about it all, and do not respond or send me another e-mail or call if this is really the end of our relationship between you and me, and you go running back to Lars or you're going to say, "Maybe we should see other people."

:(

Stay Safe,
Christian.)}}

{{Email|November 5, 2010 - 4:39pm

Hey Chris! Sorry I couldn't come back to the phone last night after I turned you over to Lars. But I am so impressed that you two hit it off so well!! I thought for sure it might be awkward for you two to talk, but the both of you showed some surprising maturity. I'm so impressed with my two boys!! And what's more, Lars was telling me last night that you told him you were going to do the parade comic for me the right way!!! Wow Chris, that will be such a sweet gesture. I look forward to seeing it in all its glory! Make sure it's colored and detailed as well as you used to do with your comic.

Jackie}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 18

2010-11-08T23:07:30Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

This page lists emails exchanged by Chris an [[Jackie]] from 12-22 [[October 2010]].

{{EmailReply|October 12, 2010 - 11:40pm

I'm sorry I wasn't on soon enough to read you being online tonight. I had all of the things to worry about today, including the pull-ups, which unfortunately and Strictly Confidential, flopped. I tried hard to do the pull-ups, but I couldn't even do one; I'm [[obesity|heavy]]. I've discreetly uploaded [[100 2278|that embarrassing video]] for you to see for yourself. Keep that video confidential as well, please. I will delete it about this afternoon. As a consolation for [[YouTube]], I made [[100 2279|a lame imitation of Cleveland Brown]] purchasing crappy computers then building a stock car out of the parts after the eMachines and Dell crashed.

I misspoke on my physical ability on the pull-ups, and I am sorry for that. But at least I did try for you. Shit! Last time I checked, I was around 210 lbs. :( *sigh*

I will do the fake webcam for you tomorrow, and also, I have a fun new photo for you I created with a PSMove Demo that came from the Demo Disc. :)

I'll log on tomorrow night for an AIM with you; if you'll be unavailable, please let me know.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
I Love You, Jackie.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian}}

{{Email|October 13, 2010 - 9:45am

Hey Chris!

Thanks for sending me the video of your attempted pull-ups. If nothing else, at least I know you tried. And hey, it just shows that you need to work out some more, right?

I look forward to seeing the "webcam" video tonight. And I'll be on, so we can have a chat. Talk to you then!!

XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 14, 2010 - 4:50pm

Chris, you didn't upload the video like you said you would last night. Where are you? Are you missing? Should I call the [[jerkops|cops]]? What happened?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 14, 2010 - 7:09pm

I recorded [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|the video]] of me being [[harry Potter]] last night. By the time I got to my PC, it froze up again. I tried like 25 more times, but it wouldn't get back to the desktop. Although it did go up to the farthest beforehand MS XP loading window. I decided to hold off on the upload until after I get the tower from downstairs up here. I am going to get it done tonight. I did get the [[Alcohol|Kaluah]] today, drank some, put on the bandana, cap and tough guy wrist straps I have, andrecorded the video. The kaluah isn't bad, but I feel the combination of coffee, chocolate and liqour isn't a swift flavor combination. I got a bottle for only 8 bucks.

I'll upload the two videos later.

TTYL
Stay Safe and Sweet.
XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 14, 2010 - 7:15pm

Oh, good Chris. I'm glad you're okay, I was a little worried. Thanks for checking in with me. I look forward to seeing the two videos!

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 15, 2010 - 3:05pm

Hey Chris! Thanks for getting those videos up for me. Hey, I'd like you to do the pregnancy-theme video tonight. Here's the story: My aunt was telling me the other day of something really sweet her husband did for her years ago when she was pregnant with my cousin. My aunt was sore and in pain for a lot of her pregnancy, because carrying around a giant fetus in your womb is backbreaking work and what not, so her husband actually put on a false pregnancy weight that he wore around his stomach and wore it sometimes, to show that he shared her pain and that they were in this pregnancy together. It was just the sweetest gesture. I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture! And after the baby was born, my aunt's husband wore this strap on his chest that he could attach milk bottles to, so he could actually "breast feed" the baby, so to speak. That way my aunt didn't have to do it all the time. Do you have like a doll or something that you could pretend to be a baby? I'd love to see you pretend that you were breastfeeding our baby. I think it's such a turn-on when a man wants to be domestic like that... :) (You don't need the milk-bottle strap or anything, just pretend you're breast-feeding.)

Anyway, look forward to seeing it!!

XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 15, 2010 - 3:18pm

I was thinking of dong the pregnancy video tonight anyway. Also, you didn't answer my question the other night on the article for your school paper I was interviewed on; is the date set on the article's release yet? And I've put my zords on Craigslist last night; we'll see about scoring money from this deal soon enough. Out of them all, I've decided to hang on to the first most set of the original Megazord, Dragonzord and Titanus put together to make the Ultra Megazord. Out of them all, I felt they did their best job on the first time around compared to the future models. In any case, if I sell all of the rest, that wll still be over a hundred easy. And next month, it is all about you and me meeting up, dating and all that fun stuff from my income of the month, and future months beyond that.

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian}}

{{EmailReply|October 16, 2010 - 2:20am

I'm between PC towers right now, and things are here and there. I'm still working on it. But I did record the videos of me being pregnant for you. I wish the PS3 would recognize the format my digital camera records in; it would save me the having to go through the PC. I'll keep you updated and let you know when I'll be back in operation fully PC-wise.

To compensate for now, I'm attaching a photograph of me in my Big Fake Breasts; I was Jugnormous. I have one more in the following e-mail; please keep these photos only for yourself.

I'll bug ya later.
Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian}}

{{Email|October 16, 2010 - 7:10pm

Hey Chris, you know, you could check your email a little more frequently and respond when I ask if you'll be around, especially since you know by now that I email you questions like that during the day. I'd rather hear that you won't be available to chat, than not hear anything at all from you. A little effort on your part is all I'm asking.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 17, 2010 - 5:09pm

You are right, I should have checked earlier, but I have been busy with the computer swap, and my father got in the way; he took back the tower I brought up from downstairs. But I have made some progress. I may have found a way to make my console recognize .MOV format video files and allow me to directly copy, edit and upload them onto [[YouTube]]. I will be performing the final steps for this method shortly.

I will inform you when I will be able to AIM with you; until then, assume no. I am sorry, and I miss our text conversations. At least I am working hard and doing what I can for now. Also, I have not rrceived any solid offers for my zords yet, but I'm prayin' for the sells, so I can get further towards that new computer. I may go for a laptop, but do not quote me on that yet. I am also working on isolating and looking to fix the problem that is keeping my a345c from booting up. The other HP computer does work, but I have some difficulty getting it online, and it is slow on loading. It has Windows ME; obviously not compatible with Windows XP, so an HDD swap there would not work likely.

BTW, for the Sat and Sun videos, I did [[Gilligan Be or Not|one where I'm dressed up like Gilligan]], and I sing his "[[Wikipedia:To be, or not to be|To Be or Not To Be]]" song from "[[Wikipedia:The Producer|The Producer]]" episode. And the other, I made up a makeshift apron, paper hat, and imitated Lucille Ball doing the Vitameatavegamin commercial. I am doing my big part on keeping up with the videos.

Please help me back by finding anyone who would be interested in purchasing my zords; children who like [[Power Rangers]], or any adult toy collectors, and informing him or her of what I have.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet. I Love You, Jackie.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=October 17, 2010 - 5:55pm

Considering what you have done these past few days - getting trophy after trophy on your [[PSN]] (I know how to check how much time you've been spending playing games online, baby…), I think you should make the videos I actually asked you to make in addition to these ideas. This will be considered your make up homework, and I will provide you with extra credit for these requirements. Yes, they are required. I'll re-list the ones I wanted to see here, along with some new ones:

• [[WelcometoBollywood|bollywood video]]! my cousins and I loooove bollywood. It is soooo romantic and exotic. I want you dress up like the LEAD GIRL IN THE FILM. She is wearing a SARI. Clothes are just clothes, boys can wear dresses and girls can wear pants! Bras are for everyone! I want a red dot on your forehead, too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L7IOh2J0cs This is this film. SING along with the music (I want to hear it LOUD AND CLEAR in the background) and I want you to dance like the beautiful women. Seductive. Follow the main actress.
• [[Wigwam|tee pee]] in your back yard. Like a fort, but it must be a tee pee. Smoke a peace pipe and offer it to the camera.
• I want a video of you playing House! As Daddy, Mommy (Jackie, me), and Reginald and Crystal. Dress up as each member of our family and state your roles to the camera while acting like the character. I want Reginald to be just a baby in it, too. A 2 year old. Please be accurate with your clothing, no cardboard or construction paper allowed.
• Dress up as Captain K’nuckles. Make a bubbie to sit on your shoulder instead of a parrot! Sing a sea shanty ABOUT ADVENTURE AND CANDY. EAT A LOT OF CANDY ON SCREEN.
• Work out video! RICHARD SIMMONS style. Jumping jacks, twirling, kicking feet to the music of my favorite cardio soundtrack: ASS n TITTIES.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM6KuBUeAKc
I want this music playing the background, loud and clear.
• A day in the life of Chris video. I want you to give me a tour of [[Charlottesville]] and describe your favorite destinations. I would love if you could interview locals, too. Along the way, you can talk about how life has been this past year and what you've been up to.. At the end of the vide I want you to say "At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". This is in reference to [[Clyde]] tanning to much and being judgmental and uggers. PLEASE SAY THAT EXACT SENTENCE. BUT DO NOT mention who it's reference too. Just say ""At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". Then smile at the camera and say bye byes!! :)
• [[SonichuBabies|Sonichu Babies]] - sock puppets of your Sonichu characters performing a play.
• Presidential Campaign and Debate video - pitch your platform for fixing the country, and have a debate against an opponent, any troll opponent, whoever you like.

To be honest Chris, I was very very emotional this morning when I saw all the new trophies. But, in light of your new e-mail… I am filled with renewed feelings. I am optimistic that you will do your assignments and treat them like you did your finals in high school. Thanks for being sooooo driven, Chris. I am eager for your new stuff!

Jackie

P.S. You got the title of the [[Harry Potter]] video wrong. It was supposed to be "I put on my robe and wizard hat." Considering you had the text log right there in front of you, you could have wrote in on a post-it or something so you could remember it correctly.}}

{{EmailReply|October 18, 2010 - 4:24pm

I will do your suggested videos from today, and I will have them uploaded as soon as possible. You do understand what I have been doing to get back on with a PC, and I am trying to sync my console with divx, so it can recognize .MOV format video files. And the older PC doesn't want to run even the install program for divx, because of missing .dll files and outdated crap like that. Meanwhile, I'm also still trying and trying and trying to get the newer PC booted up, but now it seems impossible, because it is going on well over 200 turn ons and turn offs and I'm still getting as far as the Windows XP loading screen and then FREEZE.

After the long day of tedious computer work, I calm myself down and get my blood flowing a bit by playing the games on my console, yes, but I AM sitting in front of the computer screen for hours and hours between a Freezing Modern Tower, and a Tower that is soooooooooooooooo freakin' slow, it is unbearable.

*sigh*

So, at least cut me the slack, since I am doing my best to even get the .MOV videos recognized by my console and trying to make a PC work in my house. Also, the older PC does not have an Ethernet port, and when using it I have to into the slow Dial-Up Phone Line and Modem.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
I Love You.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 18, 2010 - 4:54pm

Have you gotten any decent responses for your zordon ranger toys yet? Why don't you just sell some of your PS3 games instead of continuing to buy more? If you really wanted to get that replacement motherboard quickly, you know you could get the $80 or whatever pretty fast just by selling a handful of games you don't play anymore, instead of age-old toys that no one but a few collectors here and there might be interested in buying.

I just really don't want to go the rest of the month without seeing any videos when you and I both know you have an easy and quick way to fix this problem.

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 19, 2010 - 3:34pm

Hey Chris! Thanks for the videos. They were great! Although I think something got screwed up with the lighting in your pregnancy video, because all I can see of you is a silhouette. Will you please do that one again for me? I want to see that up tonight. Just redo it the same way you did it, but make sure the lights are all on so I can actually see you in full light the whole time.

So anyway, redo that, and then for tonight's official video I want you to do the Work out video! RICHARD SIMMONS style. Jumping jacks, twirling, kicking feet to the music of my favorite cardio soundtrack: ASS n TITTIES.
-For tomorrow's video (10/20), I want you to do the Sonichu Babies puppet show.
-For Thursday (10/21), I want a video of you playing House! As Daddy, Mommy (Jackie, me), and Reginald and Crystal. Dress up as each member of our family and state your roles to the camera while acting like the character. I want Reginald to be just a baby in it, too. A 2 year old. Please be accurate with your clothing, no cardboard or construction paper allowed.
-For Friday (10/22), I want you to do the tee pee video in your back yard. Like a fort, but it must be a tee pee. Smoke a peace pipe and offer it to the camera.
-For Saturday (10/23), I want the day in the life of Chris video. I want you to give me a tour of Charlottesville and describe your favorite destinations. I would love if you could interview locals, too. Along the way, you can talk about how life has been this past year and what you've been up to.. At the end of the vide I want you to say "At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". This is in reference to Clyde tanning to much and being judgmental and uggers. PLEASE SAY THAT EXACT SENTENCE. BUT DO NOT mention who it's reference too. Just say ""At least my head's not a FUCKING ORANGE". Then smile at the camera and say bye byes!! :)

We'll talk more about what videos I want after that soon enough. Have you sold some of the PS3 games you don't play anymore yet? You could get rid of [[ModNation Racers|Modnation Racers]] (especially since you bought two copies of the exact same game!), and [[Little Big Planet]], and that [[Flipnote]] game for your DS; I know you haven't touched any of those games in months. Because I really miss talking to you on IM, and I want to talk to you again soon - I hope you miss talking to me enough to get rid of some old games that are just sitting on your shelf. I mean, those Zordon Ranger toys probably won't get you any money. I'm just venturing a guess that you haven't received any worthwhile offers on them yet, right?

Well, I look forward to seeing the new videos!

Jackie

P.S. From now on, you really need to have the videos up by midnight each night. Close to half of the videos you've posted "on time" this month were well into the morning hours of the next day. (And that's not counting when you decided to get lax on the contest because you didn't want to replace your computer's motherboard.) So I look forward to seeing those videos before I go to bed tonight!!}}

{{EmailReply|October 19, 2010 - 3:44pm

The XP Tower finally gave in and booted up fully last night. I didn't want to jinx it last night; reaching you on AIM then the computer freezes up again, not to be booted up again until after triple-digit amount of ons and offs, so I decided to give it 24 hours; leave it on and see if it freezes up again. No Freeze. :) So, if you are available tonight, I will log in at about 8:30 and we can make up for lost time.

Plus, in case you haven't seen them yet, I've uploaded the bunch of videos last night. I decided for in the meantime, the PC will serve to convert the files to .mp4, until when the console is capable of recognizing and playing .MOV files in an upgrade or something, and I will upload the videos from the console.

And just to inform you, I think I've told you about me winning a $50 GameStop gift card from a [[Guitar Hero]] Blood Drive Tournament a few months ago; I finally got the gift card yesterday, and with a 3-for-2 Preowned game coupon, I got three games and a $20 PSN card. I understand that what I am saying in this paragraph is not all that thrilling, but I tell you, because I am continuing my being direct and honest with you.

I have given it thought, and I will sell some more games and DVDs for cash. And I will do this through eBay. I will also move the zords from craigslist to [[eBay]]; I figure this way there will be less chance of anyone coming up with fake offers over the phone, and I can enforce Immediate Payment, so I will definitely get the money. And also, with the games, I can sell them for current price value, instead of getting considerable chump change at a pawn shop.

With that, I will continue with the plans for saving up for the new computer.

I'll TTYTonight. Stay Safe and Sweet. I Love You.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}
{{Email|October 19, 2010 - 3:54pm

Ooh, great!! I can't wait to talk to you tonight!!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|1=October 20, 2010 - 7:19pm

Hey, Jackie. I have the Sonichu Abies puppet show recorded, but the computer froze up again last night after midnight. I'm still working on getting it booted up again; I took a break for some dinner, and I thought I'd send you the update. If I am unable to get it booted up again before tomorrow night, I will let you in an e-mail between 6 and 7'30 pm; if I do not send you an e=mail, that will signal that I got the computer booted up again, and I will be able to make the AIM tomorrow night.

I gtg turn on ad off some more. I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian}}
{{Email|October 20, 2010 - 7:27pm

Well, if you can't get it up, I guess you can't get it up. Put the video up as soon as you are able, though, I am really looking forward to seeing it!

Ooh, you know what you could do for me in the meantime? Why don't you send me the completed replacement pages for the end of Sonichu 10? It's been a few weeks since you said you would put those together, I bet they're really good! Send those to me tonight, okay sweetie??

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 21, 2010 - 5:41pm

The PC is still being stubborn with me now; more hours turning it on and off gone. I won't be able to make the chat tonight. I'm sorry, Sweetheart.

I'll let you know when I get it up again.

Stay Safe and Sweet.
I Love You, Jackie,
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 21, 2010 - 6:50pm
Well, if you would just sell some of your PS3 games already, you could replace that computer and you could actually talk to each other. Or the PS3 itself. You said that buying it was just a spur-of-the-moment impulse, but that doesn't explain why you haven't gotten rid of it in the months since then.

What about the replacement pages for the end of [[Sonichu 10]]? I asked you to send them to me yesterday, why didn't you do so? At least then I'd have SOMETHING to do while you play your PS3.

Jackie}}
{{Email|October 22, 2010 - 8:37pm

Chris, were you planning to respond to me any time soon?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 22, 10:13pm

I'm sorry for not typing you sooner, but I have been busy trying to get the PC booted up again this afternoon; three hours. And I have sorted put a number of games and DVDs to sell at Plan 9 tomorrow. And I hd to go in the opposite direction to my local [[Wal-Mart]] for tea and groceries. Also, I found a good HP C tower without a monitor, and With 640 GB HDD memory for 500. In addition to my selling and saving plan, I have informed my mom about the computer, and she agrees with me on getting it, and she has talked to pop about it. They will plan on their financial half as well, and we'll get the new computer as shortly soon as possible. I have continued to record the videos for you daily; after they're uploaded, esecially your requested ones from this week, I think you will be pleased. Also, please do not change my mnd on the planned video for Oct. 31; I'll dress up like a ghost and play the "[[Ghostbusters]]" song on Rock Band. I also have an idea for pretending to be [[Wikipedia:Jigsaw Killer|jigsaw]]'s dummy, and addressing myself in a scenario where I was put into one of his traps. Even imagining it, hearing my name spoken by Jigsaw's voice spooks me some. "Hello, Christian Chandler, I want to play a game." Can you imagine?

Seriously, though, i am doing my best to gather the money for the new computer as swiftly as possible. And I am doing the videos for you with full efforts.

I Love You, and I Care a Lot about you a Lot, Jacklyn Romy.

TTYL; Stay Safe and Sweet,
Christian.}}

{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 17

2010-11-08T23:02:50Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 3-12 [[October 2010]].

{{EmailReply|October 3, 2010 - 4:02pm

Firstly, [[Chris and religion|I am not a Wiccan Nor a Satinist; I am a Christian Methodist]]. [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|The curse thing]] was just something made up. Please NEVER put me in the same boat as Satan. [[God and Jesus]] are who I look up to.

Whatever you think of doing against [[Lars]], and what you feel is best, I will support you fully and do what I can for you.

I am only a little into [[the Beatles]], and they are good. Actually, I've just bought a copy of "[[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|The Beatles Rock Band]]" for [[PS3]] for ONLY $11 at Sam's Club last Friday. I think "[[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|A Day in the Life]]" is in the setlist, but I am not sure. If it is, though, I will play it and sing it for you in a video another day this month. Did you know, this Rock Band title got a LOT of Mentions And Awards the past year for its beautiful displays in the backgrounds and whatnot? They kid you not. Like the bandplay behind the song, "[[Wikipedia:Yellow Submarine (song)|Yellow Submarine]]" was fantastic; it was a fantasy feast for the eyes. You can probably find the videos on [[YouTube]] and see for yourself.

Also, another thing. Considering the recent e-mails, I've checked on the [[Cwcki]], the Trollin_Train Forum, and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], to see if they had any references to you and any other nude photos of you. On the good side, there were NO links or references at all to the nude photographs in any of them, and Googling your name, even in quotation marks, got me very little results. On a moderate-to-bad side, there IS a page about you on the Cwcki, using your first photograph.

http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Jackie

I've skimmed over it; essentially they have copied/pasted what you had on your profile on [[The Hook Cafe]], along with other comments and thoughts of theirs. Plus, even though I've named the Mod of you I uploaded, "[[Sweetheart]]", they've figured out the resemblance between your bracelet and t-shirt. BTW, is your last name "Romley"? If it is, I apologize for leaving out the "L" and "E" in your last name in the past. And is there anything from your past Profile that is still true today, such as the PSOne under your bed? I'm just curious. :)

Anyway, I would recommend reading over the Cwcki page of you (print it out and have a highlighter or pen handy) and sort out any details that are considered not true of you and let me know. Also, anything on the ol' Profile that may require Updating, please let me know of that as well.

I'll put together [[100 2265|the Hamburglar video]] later tonight; I went with [[Bob|my dad]] to [[McDonalds]], treated myself to a [[Obesity|Big Mac]], and took a photo of it with my DSi camera. BTW, I've been also remembering the Big Mac jingle, in reference to me getting a job at McD. "[[Wikipedia:Big Mac#Two all beef patties slogan|Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, onions, pickles and cheese, all on a sesame seed bun.]]" If you recall the jingle yourself, please correct me on any incorrect or missing portions of the jingle.

Robble, Robble, Robble, Jackie. I Love You, Jackie. :)

I'll TTYL. Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|October 3, 2010 - 11:18pm

Hey, Jackie. I'm just checking in for now; I've just uploaded the Hamburglar video. I will get to work on learning the Beatles song, A Day In The Life. I had to download the track from the Store, but it will be worth it to me to make you smile after this investment. I downloaded it less expensively along with 7 more tracks for a total of 13.49; at a price of 1.99 for each track individually, this was a good deal.

I'll TTYL, and I should be available tomorrow night for another AIM with you; let me know if you can make it or if not, the next good day for you.

Also, in the Hamburglar video, I strapped bunches of black construction paper strips to make the stripes on my half-naked torso (I wore my [[sports bra]]), as well as to make the makeshift mask with grey eyes. It wasn't easy; I had to hold in my gut and not flex my arm muscles too much to keep the strips on me.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 4, 2010 - 11:47am

Hey Chris! Not much time to talk right now, but thanks for the video!! I look forward to chatting with you tonight. Bye for now!!!

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 5, 2010 - 11:11am

Hey Chris! That [[100 2266|Grimace video]] was off the wall, you did such a good job!! Hey, are you going to be online for a chat tonight? I'd love to talk to you again. Let me know!

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 5, 2010 - 7:12pm

I'm sending this message through my [[PS3]]. My PC froze up bad; I had to cold boot it. Now I'm having trouble getting it booted up again. iDK if I told you about what happened last winter after the power went out. For some reason, after that power failure passed, I turned my PC back on; it took me about an hour to get it booted up. I turn it on, it goes to the intro HP Pavillion screen, then it SHOULD go to the MSWindows XP screen, but no it freezes up at a black screen in between. After cold booting and powering up, I eventually make progress and get it booted up. I've had to do this on other occasions after that, but I am forced to keep it on at all times. I am having worse troubles this time. I am sorry. I will let you know when I get it going again. Essentially it has some trouble in the link to the HDD. I need to replace the HDD; at least I have everything backed up on multiple CDs for System Recovery.

I have the video for today recorded; I mock [[clyde Cash]] as planned; sadly I am unable to upload to YouTube from my PS3. Should my PC troubles go for more than a day, I will record a new video each day as promised then upload them all on the same day.

I'm planning on doing the Beatles video tomorrow.

Also, I finally got my car back. I'll bug ya later.

Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
I Love You. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 5, 2010 - 8:13pm

Well Chris, within the past month or so, you purchased to buy [[ModNation Racers|Modnation Racers]] for the [[PSP]] even though you already own the exact same game for the PS3. You purchased [[Wikipedia:Lego Rock Band|Lego Rock Band]], [[Wikipedia:The Beatles: Rock Band|Beatles Rock Band]] (two versions of the exact same game, again?? And you're probably buying tons of add-on songs for both as well), several blu-ray movies (which are like $30 a piece), several PSN cards, [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|Resident Evil 5]], several games for your DS, several accessories for your DS, and more...

You just told me the other day you bought a fan for your PS3 so that you can leave it on all the time, but from the way you describe it, it sounds like your computer is having trouble booting because it's overheating. You could have spent the money on a new fan for your computer instead. Actually, considering how dirty your [[house]] is (which I know from watching [[Tour of Chris's House|your house tour]]), I'd be willing to bet the fan works fine, but your computer's vents are all clogged with dust and grime, and so it still overheats anyway. Even if your computer is broken and can't be repaired, you could have spent a couple hundred dollars on a basic new computer that you could use to do what needs to be done. But instead, you have been dropping money left and right on video games just as much recently as you ever have, despite your claim to me that you are "over" your addiction. (Ironically, I was just listening to a recording of a talk between you and that [[Alec Benson Leary|Alec Bayson Larry]] guy from months ago on the cwcki where he asks why you can't spend a little money to fix your computer and you said you can't afford one. So you've known you need to fix your computer for almost a year, and yet when you do get the money... you just buy a replacement PS3 instead, and your computer is still screwed up.) But even forgetting all that, I don't get why you can't upload my video from your PS3.

*SIGH* ...I'm just disappointed that you could spend all your money on video games, but you can't be bothered to keep in working order the equipment you need to give the girl you love the things that will make her happy. Now I can't talk to you tonight, and I can't have a video of you to watch. But I bet you'll be playing video games tonight, no problem. Meanwhile, I have nothing tonight. I know you have at least one [[PSEye]], if not more; don't those record directly to your PS3? Why can't you use that to make the video for me? Or if Youtube is the problem, you can just upload the videos to mediafire or something and send me the link, or even email them to me if they're small enough.

Well, please upload the video as soon as you are able, and keep making videos for every day. Luckily, I probably won't have to wait long, right? Even if your computer is toast for good, it only took you a couple of days to gather up the $300 for a new PS3, so I'm sure you can do the same again and get a new computer as quickly. So I'll be able to see the new videos soon!! I actually had a great new idea for a video. I want you to go on a nature hike for me!! Record yourself as you go on a hike in the [[Wikipedia:Blue Ridge Mountains|Blue Ridge Mountains]]. I'd LOVE to see you out in nature, enjoying God's creation! That video will probably be quite a bit longer than your others, because I want to see as much of your hike as possible. It'd be great to see like an hour of it or more. (I guess you can't use your PSeye for that one, obviously, but you'll still be able to show it to me as soon as you upload it from your camera, or preferably just send it to me like I said.) What do you think? Today's video is the Clyde video and tomorrow is the Beatles song video, but you could do the hike on Thursday! Make sure your camera's battery is fully charged before you go! Oooh, I'm so excited to see you show me how buff you are!!

XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 6, 2010 - 8:23pm

Chris, where have you been? I understand that your computer is giving you trouble right now, but I know you can send email through your PS3, and it's kind of rude of you to just not write me all day. Have you just been playing video games all day?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 7, 2010 - 1:35pm

I mant to resond yesterday, but I was going on for hours and hours trying to boot up the PC again. I got Samantha’s input; she recommended trying to use a Windows XP Installation CD to boot it up with. Unfortunately, I have no clue of where the one that came with the PC is, but it is not in the kitchen where the PC is; I've looked all over it already. Earlier today, I went over to PC Pro for a CD there; I borrowed a CD-R with a sort of Windows XP data, but it failed me. I will return it later, after I look inside the tower to see what goes on when it's trying to boot up. I'll take the tower with me to get John's opinion on the situation.

I do not know about raising money quickly for another computer; I've already sold the older game consoles within the past couple of months. But I will see into less expensive methods of repair/upgrading the PC. The only other things I may be able to sell, but takers are unlikely, my collection of Mighty Morphin [[Power Rangers]] Zords. I have a lot of them, played with and stored in their original boxes. I will look into putting them on Craigslist, but I can't promise a quick sale like the Genesis earlier.

I will continue the daily videos for you, and I will inform you when I am able to upload them.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses, <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 7, 2010 - 3:32pm

Hey Chris!

Well, I hope you can get your computer working again, but it sounds like the prognosis isn't good. I thought you took a bunch of computer classes in high school and college, you always talk about being good with computers. You know what you could always do to get the money quickly for a new PC? You could sell your shiny new PS3. I know, I know, you don't want to part with it, but the fact is, selling that thing would easily get you the money you need for a new computer right away - so it's a choice between continuing to play the same old video games you've already been playing for months, or being able to give your girlfriend the videos she asks for and making her happy.

Did you try to upload the videos to mega-upload or mediafire or some other upload site like that? Try doing that and send them to me that way.

Anyway, I'll list out a few ideas for videos. I want to see all of these:

-You have [[Cherokee]] ancestry, right? Do a presentation of the history of the Cherokee, and their interaction with the European colonists. You could even dress up in a Cherokee costume!
-Sing me a [[Wikipedia:Frank Sinatra|Frank Sinatra]] song, like [[Wikipedia:My Way (song)|My Way]]. Sinatra was so romantic!
-Do a presentation on the history of the Chandler family, like a [[family tree]] sort of thing. You say you are related to [[Ann Boleyn]], right? That's amazing, most people I know can't trace their families back more than three or four generations. Show me a plot of how your bloodline traces back to her, and all the other significant family members you have!
-Go to the dollar store and get one of those cheap bubble-blower pipes that look like you're smoking a pipe, but then you just blow bubbles. Then, put on your robe and glasses and sit in a chair and talk about your opinions on the economy, act all cultured and dignified, and blowing bubbles. (It's from an old [[The Simpsons|Simpsons]] episode where Bart did it, I used to think it was so funny and cute, I'd love to see you parody it!)
-Make [[100 2277|a Fred Flinstone costume]], and sing the Flinstones theme song for me. I loved Flinstones as a kid.

So that's the ideas I have right now, do them in any order. But I hope to see them really, really soon. And I hope to be able to IM with you again soon too, because I miss talking to you... :(

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 7, 2010 - 5:21pm

I got my computer running again. Yay. I've just started uploading the videos from Tuesday to Today; a Triple Feature for you.

I have learned a little something today from when I took the tower to PC Pro; apparently I could have just held the power button in for a bunch of seconds to power the computer down, even when frozen. I wish I had known that before. I've also learned how to clear out a possible corrupted file on my HDD that was the original cause of the problem from since last winter. I firstly need to create a Windows XP Installation disc of my own after downloading the CD's contents after finding them online. If you have any references or leads that will best lead me to what I need, please let me know.

The current system info from the Properties of "My Computer" reads, "Microsoft Windows XP, Home Edition, Version 2002, Service Pack 2."

I will admit I have a technological knack with computers, but there are details I can still learn of. We're only human, and this is a machine that I'm typing from.

I understand and appreciate you missing me (on the AIM); I missed talking to you through there too. I'll check back about 8:30 tonight; log in if you are able to, and we'll talk some more. :) Otherwise, please let me know when will be the next good day for you to be online.

At least now I have a solution that may fix the trouble I've been having with my PC since last winter.

Also, your ideas are good for the videos, and I will do them for you. I don't know "My Way", but I do have a CD with that Track on it; I will listen to it repeatedly and learn the song and words for you.

I'll TTYL.
Lots of Love for you.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 7, 2010 - 6:35pm

Yay!! I'm glad you got things fixed with your computer. I was worried, I didn't know how long it would be before we could talk again. I'll be online around 8:30, so I look forward to talking tonight!!

:D :D :D

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 8, 2010 - 3:34pm

Hey Chris.

Honey, I'm so sad right now. I've been crying off and on all day. There's something I think I need to tell you that I've been hiding, because I was ashamed, and scared, and it just hurt too much to bring up.

I was once pregnant, with [[Lars]]' child, back when we were together. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so happy. I thought Lars and I were going to be the perfect family. But he wasn't happy about it when I told him. He was furious. He didn't want to "be no baby daddy", he said. We argued back and forth on it for weeks. He wanted me to get an abortion so he wouldn't have to deal with raising a child. I was as scared as he was to have a child - neither of us were really ready, we both had too much living to do yet. But I told him that while I support a woman's right to choose, I didn't think I could honestly do it myself and live with myself. I couldn't abort my own child. I told him I was going to have the baby.

And then, he... he did something terrible to me. He slipped some kind of potion into my coffee one morning. I don't know what it was, some medicine concoction. Parts of his family come from Haiti, they practice some kind of voodoo herbal medicine and herbology, stuff like that... I think that must be where he got his recipe from. But what he gave me, it forced me to miscarry my child. He forcefully aborted my child. OUR child. I went to the [[Jerkops|police]] at the time, and the hospital, but there was nothing the doctors could do and no evidence left behind - the police said I was out of luck. There was nothing they could do.

I thought I was past all this. But this weekend is the anniversary of when it happened, and every year when this time comes I just get so emotional and despondent. I just feel so sad and alone, thinking about the child that could be in my arms right now, if not for Lars McNulty.

That's part of why I want this hiking video so badly, Chris. When I was a little girl, my parents used to take me hiking on the Blue Ridge trails all the time. Those are the happiest memories of my life. I want to see you doing it, so the love of my life can take my mind off my troubles. Thank you so much for doing it for me, Chris. This means the world to me. I don't know what I would do without you being there for me. Maybe I should have brought this all up when we were chatting yesterday, because I was feeling really badly when you said you weren't sure if you wanted to do the hike for me, but I guess I didn't feel prepared at the time to bring it up. This is a topic I never talk about with people, so I was scared to do it then. But I'm taking the leap and telling you now because I trust you and you deserve to have this honesty from me.

Well, I'll be on later tonight, so I hope you'll be on too and we can talk. Love you.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|1=October 9, 2010 - 11:00am

I'm sorry that happened to you, [[Sweetheart]]. And I can relate to what you're feeling. Between a lost one, as well as the anger against the person who had a hand in killing him/her. It reminds me of an episode of [[South Park]] where Kenny's mom was pregnant, and he did not want a sibling, and did what he could to abort the child. Among which he purchased some abortion medicine; crap like "Baby Be Gone" or something. he put the stuff in a drink he offered to her, but she declined the offer. Then his dad drank the concotcion; he got sick and threw up and crapped;comically awful. wouldn't be surprised if Lars did not use some sort of "spell", but an O.T.C. drug and put that in the coffee. Some people can be sooo cruel and vicious... *sigh* Anyway, it's okay, Jackie. I am here for you, and I will do what I can for you. :-*

I'm afraid I have a spot of bad news as well, my PC froze up again, and had to turn it off again. I need a new one... as soon as I can get one. On the bright side, though, I think I may be able to fix the PC with a replacement Motherboard. I Googled the model, HP Pavilion a345c (AKA, DN116A) motherboard yesterday, and I have found and hand wrote the specs of the motherboard. Although I am having trouble finding a place that sells computer parts and has that very motherboard in stock. There's no one selling even the PC tower, much less the motherboard, on eBay, Amazon.com or Craigslist. All I could find on eBay was the 1GB upgrade part for the motherboard. I would appreciate any help you can offer to find a place or someone with an HP Pavilion a345c PC tower, or at least its motherboard.

http://www.ehow.com/list_7166517_hp-pavilion-a345c-specs.html
http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/document?lc=en&dlc=en&cc=us&docname=c00039936

Between these two webpages, I was able to compile my information of the motherboard specs.

And as for the videos, I may still be able to upload them after filming from my PSEye, EyeCreate and Video Editor/Uploader apps on the PS3. Also, I spent yesterday learning from the Wikipedia about the Cherokee history; I'll be reading it over some more today. And I will go on the hike this afternoon. [[A Hike|Although, I will be hiking up the mountains near the Montecello]]; I understand it's not the Blue Ridges, but they're mostly unfamilar territory to me. I've been on the beginning of the trail with my congregation before, so this more familar to me, and I will still be hiking a mountain trail. I promise I will take you to the Blue Ridges, and we'll share the trails together. :)

Also, I will take another crack at booting up the PC about 6 or 7 tonight to upload the hiking video, and maybe catch you on the AIM. I'm not making any promises due to the computer's current fickleness.

Jackie-Heart, I want you and me to be together for the very long time, and between us, we'll have a child or two of our own. You know my dream has been to have a daughter with a lucky woman (which will be with you), and her name will be [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Her name came with her when the dreams started, and I promised my mother that I'd pass on the Weston name in the middle. If the child is a boy, I will let you dwcide on his name. We will see what happens as times goes by. :)

I Love You, Jacklyn.

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 9, 2010 - 1:17pm

Hey Chris. Not much time to talk right now, I'll try to be on tonight to IM with you but I'm not sure if I'm going to be home. But I'll try to be so be on around 8:30 for me like usual and wait a few minutes or so to see if I'm on. I'm glad you're learning more about Cherokee history and its relation to the Chandler family history, and that you're doing the hiking video for me today. What video did you make yesterday, then? Anyway, hope to talk to you tonight.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 10, 2010 - 7:06pm

Well, I am glad to hear that you appreciate my efforts. :)

Actually, I did require my PC to assist. I uploaded [[ECV 00001|my Cherokee video]], filmed from my PSEye, on the PC; the Video editor/uploader add would not allow me to select that video. But to try it out, I changed the format on the PC of the Hiking videos, put them all together on the PS3 app, and uploaded it from there; it took longer, but it worked well. I'm surprised you were able to tell that it was uploaded from the console; I deleted that default detail from the Descripton; what, did it have a "P.S." icon next to it or something?

Anyway, my computer; after uploading the Cherokee video, I swiftly did another search, and I found an HP Parts store where they have the HP a345c Motherboard available for sale for $73.?? plus 9.99 S&H. I will get 100 as soon as possible and order it to replace the damaged one. Still, it is 200 less than a currently available New PC tower, wit or without a moniter.

I will have the C.C.Sonichu video uploaded later tonight, after the new Fox shows and getting the PC booted up again. I tried putting it into Standby mode last ime to try to keep it on, but the Freeze got to it again when I pressed Enter to get it out of standby.

I will catch you on the AIM tomorrow night.

Stay safe and Sweet. Hugs, Kisses and Lots of sweet Love,
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 10, 2010 - 7:26pm

Well, I wish that talking to your girlfriend was more important than watching your little family guy cartoons, especially considering we haven't had a live chat since I poured my heart out to you about my miscarriage. But whatever, I guess we'll talk tomorrow when [[Seth MacFarlane]] isn't there to take your attention from the woman you love.

Speaking of money, what happened to that $130 or so that you said you had saved up for our date? Couldn't you just use that money on your motherboard? Considering that fixing your computer is directly related to making videos for me, I would be fine with that. Well, talk to you tomorrow, hopefully. I've got some more video ideas for you.

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 12, 2010 - 10:31am

Hey Chris!!

So as promised, I have a few more video ideas for you to do. They are as follows:

-I want to see [[A Public Announcement for Congress|a video of you pretending you are running for President of the United States of America]]. Pretend you are on stage, speaking to the American public, and detail for them what your political platform would be, what you would do for the country once elected to office. Oh, and I'd also really love to see you do a mock debate against your opponent in the video. Maybe it would be [[Reldnahc]]? Or another foe of yours you'd like to defeat in a Presidential debate? You choose who. But you could use jump cuts in the video so that you could play both people in the debate!
-Do you remember [[Wikipedia:Jim Henson's Muppet Babies|Muppet Babies]]? I loved that show when I was a kid, I zoned out for hours in front of the tv watching that. Anyway, I'd love to see you do a puppet show for me, called "[[SonichuBabies|Sonichu Babies]]". Just make some sock puppets of your [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] characters and have them act out a scene. You choose the scene and story for the play! And I'd love if you sang the Muppet Babies theme song at the end of the video (and had all the puppets "sing" too), except of course replace the word "Muppet" with "Sonichu".
-My aunt was telling me the other day of something really sweet her husband did for her years ago when she was pregnant with my cousin. My aunt was sore and in pain for a lot of her pregnancy, because carrying around a giant fetus in your womb is backbreaking work and what not, so her husband actually put on a false pregnancy weight that he wore around his stomach and wore it sometimes, to show that he shared her pain and that they were in this pregnancy together. It was just the sweetest gesture. I'd love it if you made a video where you strapped some pillows under your shirt, or some other kind of weight, and showed yourself enduring the stress of pregnancy. It would be such a romantic gesture! And after the baby was born, my aunt's husband wore this strap on his chest that he could attach milk bottles to, so he could actually "breast feed" the baby, so to speak. That way my aunt didn't have to do it all the time. Do you have like a doll or something that you could pretend to be a baby? I'd love to see you pretend that you were breastfeeding our baby. I think it's such a turn-on when a man wants to be domestic like that... :) (You don't need the milk-bottle strap or anything, just pretend you're breast-feeding.)
-Lastly for now: I have [[100 2281|a video]] that I'd like you to direct at Lars, to get back at him for his recent actions. Let me explain: Lars wrote me again to say how gay you are. I want you to make a video where you talk about how straight you are. In fact, here's what I want you to do: Lars and I used to do a lot of webcam chatting before we moved in together. He would sit at his computer with his dumb bandana and hat on, drinking shitty drinks like mint juleps and what not. I don't have a webcam :( but I'd like you to "pretend" to be on webcam with me, and mock him at the same time. So here's what I'd like: Do you have a bandana and a fedora, or some other kind of brimmed hat? I want you to wrap the bandana around your head, and then wear the hat on top of that. And I want the video to be of you sitting at your computer (position the camera so it's facing you from the computer's point of view, like a webcam would), and then sit and talk about how you are straight and why there's no way you could be gay. And also, I would like you to go buy a bottle of Kahlua White Russian. It's a kind of sweet alcoholic drink, tastes very chocolate-like, and its really inexpensive, I really like it. Go buy a bottle at the liquor store, and then drink from the bottle while you're doing your video. (it'd be kind of funny if you got a little drunk too, I've wondered for a while what it would look like to see you drunk. Don't overdo it, just get yourself nice and buzzed.) Anyway, it'd be hilarious to see you making your straight-video while mocking Lars and his stupid behavior! I can't wait!

So there you go. You're doing [[100 2278|the pull-up video]] tonight, which I can't wait to see, but I think I'd like to see the Lars fake-webcam video tomorrow night, and then you can just pick any order for the other three. Oh, and I also still want to see that Chandler Family Tree presentation where you show how your noble line is descended all the way from [[Daniel Weston]] and [[Ann Boleyn]], too! Like, show the exact path that your line takes directly from them. Okay, can't wait to see them!!

Love,

Jackie

P.S. I'll be online at the usual time tonight too, so I hope we can have another chat!!}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 16

2010-11-08T22:55:29Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: God damn, maybe people should check for these pages before they link to them.

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] between 23 [[September 2010]] and 3 [[October 2010]].

{{Email|September 23, 2010 - 8:39pm

Hey Chris.

So it's all well and good that you agree with me about the addiction issue, but my point was that the [[money]] you spent is still hundreds of dollars that you could have spent on other things, like [[Wikipedia:Otakon|Otakon]]. My point was never that you found games on sale, it's that games are the only thing you want to spend money on in the first place. You mentioned [[Son-Chu|your car]] is having trouble, are you going to have the money to fix it?

Anyway, I had a really shitty day. More shit about [[Lars]] as well as some housing problems I've just found out I have to deal with. I don't really feel like talking tonight. But thank you for writing so much for me tonight, you've given me a lot to read. We'll reschedule our next chat soon, sweetie. Talk to you soon.

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 24, 2010 - 9:54pm

Hey sweetie! Just wanted to let you know I had a really good time talking to you tonight!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 25, 2010 - 11:33am

I'm glad you enjoyed our talk; I enjoyed it too. <3 :)

A quick question, what was it again that [[Lars]] said that you wanted me to say in [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|the Ship-Sinking video]] again? "The consequences will always be changing"? Please tell me again.

I'll have the ship and iceberg built, followed by the video's recording done this afternoon; I'll have the video uploaded about tonight. :)

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
Lots of Love,
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 25, 2010 - 3:26pm

Hey sweetie! The phrase Lars said was "The consequences will never be the same". Make sure to put emphasis on it, make yourself sound real imposing when you say it. He'll get the message.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 25, 2010 - 5:22pm

I got it, Sweetheart. I'm uploading the video now; look for it on my YT Channel; relay the link to Lars if required. Also, just curious, it was only the ONE photo you gave to Lars; there are no other similar photos, right? I ask to make certain of your safety, and any potential bargaining tickets Lars may or may not have. But push comes to shove, and if he wants to fight me, I will defend your honor to the last bead of sweat or breath.

BTW, ignore the incoming mother who wandered in at the end of the video. She and I have been busy clearing out and blocking out a bunch of [[Wikipedia:Pentatomoidea|stink bugs]] (she thought they were [[Wikipedia:Bedbug|bed bugs]] at first, but she was corrected later). They were all over my window; I was surprised I did not notice their shadows behind the blinds before today. Anyway, most of them were disposed of either by withdraw from the house hitchhiking on the shades, curtains and blinds that went outside to be cleaned later, or by suction into a vacuum cleaner.

I hope the video puts a scare into Lars; I also portray stomping HIM along with his sunken ship, and I hope you enjoy the energy I was able to put into it post-bug-busting.

I'll TTYL. Let me know when we can schedule another AIM.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.

P.S.
Something else I'd like to let you know about. I have noticed and appreciated your kisses and hearts after I told you that I Love You, but I feel like only half of my affection is being returned through the emoticons over a full-on "I Love You (Too)". I would feel better if you would tell me directly that you love me too after or before I tell you.

I am only letting you know about how I feel about the emoticons; I do not mean to put any pressure onto you.

I Love You, Jackie. :-*}}

{{EmailReply|September 26, 2010 - 10:07pm

-----Original Message-----
From: Lars Mcnulty
To: chrischansonichu
Sent: Sat, Sep 25, 2010 8:35 pm
Subject: My boat is sailin

Hey Fatso, you the fat loser my Jackie wound up with? Whoa, I must a done a number on her, if she be so traumatized she would sink as low as you. You know what aint sinkin? My resolve, nigga. Don't you EVER be showin my boats sinkin, You just lucky that wasnt one a my boats. If that'd been one a my boats, I'd a WHOMPED yo pasty fat ass, you wonky dweeb nigga. Jackie's gonna be mine again, you just wait and see. This shit aint over between us. Just look at my pic i gave you, you see I mean business. See how fierce i be. The consequences aint NEVER gonna be the same, nigga.

Smooth sailin',

Lars McNulty}}

{{Email|September 27, 2010 - 5:30[m

Hey Chris! Not much time to talk but I'll write a little.

Actually Chris, that's really Lars in that photo. I don't have the article nearly done yet, I haven't had much time to finalize it. It's not due for a few weeks, anyway. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing the next video.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 27, 2010 - 7:02pm

Oh. Seriously, Lars is [[Niggos|a black dude]]? Huh... Shoot; I've just bad-mouthed him on hiding behind a photo of a black man in the video I've just uploaded of telling him off. Still, the energy was appropriate. :)

Anyway I am cool with you having gone out with a black man; I've seen a lot of those couples on television. I'll admit, long ago I did have a problem with it, but I've long gotten over that. People ARE People; we're the same on the inside (with the exceptions of personality characteristics which varies from person to person). BTW, did I mention that I am 1/16 [[Cherokee]]? I think I did, but I'm not sure.

I look forward to reading the article after it's published. I gave you a lot of good stuff for it. And this way, we're helping each other out; you get a great article for the newsletter, and it gives me a chance to improve my rep.

Which reminds me, I am thinking of starting an anti-Troll/Cyber-Bully rally, as I have done in yesterday's video. Also, I am still undrawn on the pilot comic for the TrollBusters. I'm still thinking of the story plot, and I am open for your input as well. So far, I have Cal and Dee^2 hanging out in their headquarters in [[Cwcville]], talking about common Troll Icons and "Anon" Associations of theirs. Other discussion topics of advisement is open for suggestion. They get an e-mail from a victim; Dee^2 traces its origins, googles the victim's name, finds the various forums and such. She and Cal traces the origin points of the inputed text on the Forums and such through IP Addresses. Finds the point of the Head Troll of the group, hops into their Truck (depending on the Location of the Troll, in US or out, having to take the Private Plane or not; I'm still deciding on the starting location). After they reach the destination, from their truck, they scan all of the computers in the house of the troll wirelessly; they find the bookmarks leading to the same Forums, history of entered text onto said forums, and IRC Chat history matching up. They save all of the evidence onto their HDD, then remotely shuts off the internet for this dude alone. Meanwhile, the perp is inside making another post, and gets interrupted of Loss of Connection, then Cal and Dee^2 force their way in with backup from [[Jerkops|the Police]] and the [[Wikipedia:Federal Bureau of Investigation|F.B.I.]] and catch the Troll Red-Handed and take him into custody.

I would appreciate your input on the pilot story; any ideas.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
Lots of Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|September 27, 2010 - 9:00pm

-----Original Message-----
From: Lars Mcnulty
To: chrischansonichu
Sent: Sat, Sep 27, 2010 8:27 pm
Subject: I aint steppin

Shiiiiiit, dog! Yall be all up in my grill, tellin me to grow up an shit? Damn nigga, I been done grown up and shit! I aint need no wonky honky givin me game on my boats! My boats aint control me! Jackie just be steppin an shit, but bitch be all up on my dick slobberin an shit once i flash my cash, nigga! Yall just wait and see, I aint need to change my habits, I am in control an shit, mos def! And soon I be in control a Jackie again, yall be seein.

Lars McNulty}}

{{Email|September 28, 2010 - 7:56pm

Chris, where have you been? I haven't heard from you all day. I was hoping to talk to you tonight, but I guess you're too busy or something.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 29, 2010 - 7:21am

I am soo sorry for missing you yesterday; I was preoccupied with other things and I forgot to check my e-mail Monday Night. And last night, I crashed early at 8:00 PM. My internal clock has been askew again lately mostly. Basically on Monday, I fell asleep at 8 AM after an all-nighter and awoke at about 5 PM. I made the direct-to-Lars video and uploaded it right before I read your e-mail letting me know that Lars WAS black and I replied to that. Then I logged off, and did all of the other things I did that night all the way up to 8:00 PM last night.

And obviously I didn't get your request for the [[Wikipedia:AOL Instant Messenger|AIM]] for Monday Night until later. And yesterday I was busy going out and hanging with my parents and stuff. And having crashed early, I forgot to check my e-mail yesterday. I guess a point I'm trying to make is I would feel better and more ready to talk over AIM if I had at least a 12 or 24 hour notice beforehand, so I could plan on that. Because the e-mail you sent Monday night was an immediate impulse, and I had already checked my e-mail and logged out. Yeah, that got messed up. :(

If you are available Tonight, I'll log in at about 8:45 PM to see if you are logged-in, or read your reply e-mail at least. And, at least a 12 hour or greater notice for when you'll be available for AIM; let's keep that in mind for future reference. Again, I am soo sorry for missing the opportunity.

At this time, we'll see how long my internal clock will stay on a daytime schedule. From my point of view, it appears to me that when my internal clock has been staying on the daytime schedule, one all-nighter is all it takes for it to go askew all over again.

I will talk to you later, Sweetheart. Please keep your ideas and thoughts in mind for me. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 29, 2010 - 1:19pm

Hey Chris!

Why did you stay up til 8am? You shouldn't stay up to play video games like that all night, it's not good for your health. You really ought to make the choice to [[Biological clock|set a regular bedtime for yourself and stick to it. For example, I usually go to bed at midnight every night (or sometimes earlier), even if I'm not particularly tired, because I don't want to screw myself up for the next day. You can't just stay up for as long as possible until you "crash", that's what small children do. Your choices are why your sleep schedule is messed up, it's not because you can't control your own body. And plus, then your random sleeping habits inconvenience others, like myself. You need to make the choice to discipline yourself and stick to a regular schedule. It's what the rest of us have to do.

Anyway, I'll be on about 8:45pm tonight, so I look forward to chatting with you then. We can talk more about your trollbusters plot ideas and other stuff. Like the October videos!! Only a couple days until the first one airs!!! I can't wait to see what the first one will be!! Anyway, talk to you tonight, sweetie!

XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 30, 2010 - 11:32am

Here's the updated resume for your reference; please treat this file and its contents as strictly confidential. I have my green shirt, clean as I am after a refreshing shower right now. :)

I will record the new direct-to-Lars video for you after the interview, and I will let you know about what happens tonight during our AIM. A prayer for me is helpful and appreciated. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 1, 2010 - 2:03pm

Hey Chris, I hope you get this soon. Will you be available for another IM tonight? Let me know!

<3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 1, 2010 - 4:31pm

Hey, Sweetheart. :)

Firstly, I've had a long day, and I'm feeling tired, so I'm probably going to be unavailable for a chat tonight. I am sorry.

On the good news, though, I've mustered the energy to make the direct apology to Michael video; it should be uploaded by now.

And, this morning, while I was having breakfast, I came up with an inspired poem for you.

Jacklyn, your smile is a ray of sunshine to me.
Seeing your beautiful and radiant face,
I can't help but want to kiss it and your sweet lips.
Your wavy hair drives me wild;
I want to run my fingers through it gently
and feel the energy that burns wildly and sweetly.
Your wit and smarts guide me great,
helping me sort out better the dilemmas I've been pondering.
The distance between us is hard to bear.
I throw away the [[Wikipedia:Sudoku|sudoku]] puzzle of the newspaper
I was working on when I thought up this poem,
so I would rush fastest to you.
Sweetest Jacklyn, you are the missing piece
I've been longing for to complete me.
While I am capable of being independent,
I just feel soo much better with you by my side.
Sweetest Jacklyn Romy, I Love You Soo Much.
Let us rid each other of the distance that
keeps us apart, so we can be together forever.

You keep that to yourself; print this message so you can read it every day to lift you up as much as you have lifted me. :)

I need to rest, but I'll TTYL. Perhaps we can AIM again tomorrow night.

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 1, 2010 - 5:24pm

Hey Chris!

What were you doing all day? Did you stay up playing video games all night again? I told you, it's your responsibility to set a bed time for yourself. Remember, if you get the job at [[McDonalds]], you're going to be working for hours every day, and you won't have a choice in the matter - not like now, where you just get tired because you choose not to go to bed at a reasonable time. And also remember Chris, the terms of our agreement were that you would make one video every day for the month of October. A video like this one is only a couple minutes long, and all you did was stand up and talk into the camera a bit and then upload it, so I don't get why you have to "muster" the strength to do it even though you're tired. It doesn't bode well for our contest if such a trivial effort is so difficult for you. I suggest you stop staying up to play games all night and choose to go to bed like adults do, because it's kind of annoying that you cause your own sleep problems and then seem to want special commendation for doing something that takes no effort in the first place. Remember, our contest is all or nothing. You have to do all the videos if you want me.

*SIGH*

Anyway, thanks for the video. You probably should have just said "hey Mike, I realize the Game Place is your business and you are in charge, and I don't have a right to disrespect you and do things you don't like no matter how much I disagree with you". But instead you went on about how you should have the right to scream at children whenever you feel stressed, which probably won't endear you to Mike very well. But enough about that, let's talk about the next video!!

Here's what I'm thinking for tomorrow: Hamburglar video. I really liked in your resume where you detailed your life long relationship with McDonalds. I want you to do a tribute video to McDonalds. I want you to get some dollar menu burgers, [[100 2265|dress up as the hamburglar]] (maybe go shirtless with stripes across your chest and arms? You could paint, or just put duct tape across your chest… :) sexy!) and dance/recite poetry to your burgers. Then, I want you to sit down and eat them, after thanking McDonalds for your wonderful gift of food. But before you begin eating, can you turn to the camera and say "Heyyyy folks!… FAT MAN HERE" then wink because we both know you're not actually fat. It's satire! But I know what you're thinking, you don't actually want any trolls to get the idea that you applied at McDonalds. You don't want any going to harrass you there. So don't say anything about that - just talk about how you love McDonalds. Ooh! And write a poem about a burger and read it to the burger! You did soo well with the poem you wrote me, I think you could make something great about a burger.

Guys eating burgers turn me on. :D :D :D :D :D

Jackie}}

{{Email|October 2, 2010 - 9:33pm

Hey Sweetie!

I really enjoyed our chat tonight. I'm glad we can talk like that. I'm not sure if I'll be available tomorrow night or not, but if I'm not then maybe Monday. Anyway, I know sometimes our subjects get a little intense, but thanks for opening up to me on stuff like that. I don't want you to ever think that I'm grilling you or anything like that, whenever we talk about those things I'm just trying to understand you better and bring us closer. It's all about building a stronger relationship! :) :) :)

Anyway, in continuance of our discussion, I have a few more questions:

-What sort of things were you talking to [[Sonichu]] about when you were in your meeting with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]?
-Do you still imagine talking to Sonichu sometimes? what sort of things do you talk to him about?
-What are some memorable conversations you've had with Sonichu?
-You said that when you were in the office with Mary Lee Walsh, Sonichu "talked through" you. What exactly did you mean by that?

I'm really curious about that. I think if I knew more it would be a great window into my understanding you and us being closer. I await your reply!!

With Love,

Jackie

October 3, 2010 - 11:57am

Hey again! I had one more question that I forgot to put in my last email: Why did you shout "[[curse ye ha me ha]]" at Mary Lee Walsh? I saw there's an article about that phrase on the [[cwcki]], but I don't really understand what it means. What is the significance of it? What does it mean?

Hope to talk to you soon!

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|October 3, 2010 - 1:30pm

I understand you never mean to grill me. I emotionally get carried away sometimes when my buttons get pressed with certain topics that hit it home. And when I get carried away, I may not think clearly. But I am happy we are opening up to each other, and I really do want our relationship to be strong too, Sweetheart. :)

I can answer your current questions now.

-At that time in her office, Sonichu and I were coming up with an immediate plan of counter-attack to the things she was saying; I do not remember what she said.
-I do still sometimes talk with my electric-hedgehog pok'emon while I'm on my way to falling asleep and the tv is off; we talk about current things, like things I could do or say in meeting new people, or just things I'm feeling currently to get their response to, for examples.
-I can't remember verbatim, but memorably, getting relationship advice from Sonichu And Rosechu are most memorable.
-Sonichu had a speech of his own to stop our mutual villain from attacking us with the things she was saying and her past actions against me and the early days of my Sweetheart Search.
-The Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha attack is essentially an invisible energy attack, launched similar to [[Wikipedia:Son Goku (Dragon Ball)|Goku]]'s attack; it is an attack that curses Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune onto the individual the attack is aimed at. Among the misfortunes in mind for the attack, if the individual has a girlfriend of HIS own, she breaks up with him. This was fabricated in my lonely days then, where I was also jealous of "All of the other [[JERKS|Men]] Taking ALL of the Women, Leaving me with None to choose from."

I will think about how best to make myself up as the Hamburglar in a little while; I'll probably use a printed photo of a hamburger from McDonalds, and upon my recollection, he mostly said, "Robble, Robble", so I'll mostly say that in the dedication to the hamburger there.

Also, I'm afraid I have another disturbing development in the nude photograph department; I've just received a couple more e-mails from a couple of trolls, one of which pretended to be an ex-lesbian girlfriend of yours; she had a bunch of your nude photos attached to it. While I am going to ignore them both, I felt you should know about it. I'll be forwarding the two e-mails to you shortly for your reference.

Hey, don't fret too much over the matter; you and I, we have done what we could against that damn Lars for him leaking the photographs and confirming to him that he is through, and you have me; no bullshit. You know better now not to share such photos with anyone over the internet, even as a gag.

And regardless of anything said, portrayed or whatever, I will still Love You truly, Jacklyn. :-* :)

We'll see about Monday night when it comes around.

Stay Safe and Sweet with Lots of Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|October 3, 2010 - 2:03pm

Hey Chris!

Thanks for answering my questions. That clears up quite a bit. We can talk more about that stuff in our next chat, too. Thanks for explaining the curse ye ha me ha thing - I had no idea you were a Wiccan! Wow, this is a whole new side of you that I had no idea about. I've known Wiccans before at school and what not, but I never really knew them that well or talked to them about their beliefs. What sort of divinity do you follow, do you believe in a Godess or Earth-Mother figure? I know that's the primary deity in a lot of pagan faiths, isn't it? And what other sorts of magic or sorcery do you practice? The curse ye ha me ha sounds like a sort of black magic, akin to Satanism. I don't know much about Satanism either, but I know that the best definition is that Satanism is basically a religion that emphasizes hedonism, free will, priority towards earthly/carnal pleasures, and abandonment of restrictive rules in general. I never really thought about it before, but when I consider that you are very devoted to eating whatever you want, not working out, playing games all the time and generally not following any of God's rules, it actually makes sense that you are a Satanist. How come you didn't tell me? Were you worried I would take it badly? I don't, I think it's really cool that you're a Satanist! What other kinds of pagan magic do you practice? Is all of it black magic, or do you practice any white magic or naturalistic sorcery as well? This is really cool, Chris! It's a side of your beliefs I had no idea about!

On a darker note... Thank you for trying to console me about [[Lars]] and [[Nudes|those damn nude photos]]. Thank you so much for being the bigger man and rising above, and not judging me for those photos being out there. But I still feel so bad about all this. I feel terrible that those photos are floating around out there, for anyone to see. And now you've got random trolls sending them to you and making shit up about me, as well. I hate Lars so much. I hate him with every fiber of my being for doing this to me. Your videos to him so far have been great but clearly Lars needs a heavier hand. We're going to have to think of a way to get him out of our hair once and for all. Are you with me sweetie? :)

Anyway, I am looking forward to the Hamburglar video! Also, I had another idea for one of your next videos. Do you know [[Wikipedia:The Beatles|the Beatles]]? It'd be really fun to see you sing to one of their songs, like [[Wikipedia:A Day in the Life|a Day in the Life]] - that's my favorite Beatles song. Or maybe "[[Wikipedia:With a Little Help from My Friends|With a Little Help from my Friends]]", that's my second-favorite Beatles song. That'd be awesome! Maybe you could even write some lyrics of your own and sing them to the song! What do you think about the Beatles? Do you like them?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 15

2010-11-08T22:49:21Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Ok, fucked that up. Fixd.

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 16-23 [[September 2010]].

{{EmailReply|September 16, 2010 - 7:34pm

We all learn from our past mistakes. I've made a lot myself with my past times on the [[internet]] like you did here. All we can do is just not to think about it and move forward in life. Chalk this to another thing you and I have in common; there's [[Nudes|naked pics]] of us on the internet, yet they ended up there by mistake (or in some of my cases, from deception, blackmail and spyware).

Jackie, I am proud of you for sharing your [[honest]]y and emotions with me; your story shall remain strictly confidential between you and me. And I am here for you, as your trusted Sweetheart. LOL :)

I am happy I could make you happy, [[Sweetheart]]. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

As for your contest, it is a fun idea, but I feel posting daily on the [[YouTube]] is too much. As a strict rule on internet safety: Keep your personal information to yourself and not make it go public. But I have a better idea that I feel will allow you to see me on the daily fun as well. I will take photographs daily of thing(s) I'm doing and such, and e-mail them to you. And in each of those e-mails, I will confide a secret with you.

There's too much of me on the internet these days, and I do not want to put any more stuff about me online that the trolls can toy with to make my reputation worse, and even worse bring more shame to my family.

And I want a daily secret and current photographs from you as well in response to each of my photo(s) and secret(s) I send you daily. Keeping all that in mind with the rest of your rules, you agree to my amendments, and I will "participate in your contest". Okay, Jackie-Heart? :)

I'll TTYL.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 16, 2010 - 8:19pm

Chris, are you ashamed of our love? We have nothing to hide. I didn't mean I want you to post super-confidential stuff. Just little fun things. Like, your favorite food, or a fond memory, or something. Is thirty seconds a day really too much to ask? All I wanted is for you to put on a simple costume or something, turn on the camera, dance a little and say hi and say a little "secret", and that's it. Once a day. I don't get why you won't do that for me.

In fact, I feel a little hurt that you would put down my contest and try to take it over. I'm doing this contest so you can win me - all of me, Chris. I want us to fuck baby, I want to pleasure you - but as a reward. Haven't you put me through enough emotional turmoils, enough ups and downs? This is a very small request, Chris. ESPECIALLY seeing as you have now prematurely seen me naked. Please, Chris. Don't make me beg. I want you to do this contest. If you do it, and you play by my rules, I promise to reward you. Will secrets, will pictures, and with my sex. But you have to show some effort and what you replied with made me cry! I am still crying all over my key board. I don't want to cry! Do you want me to cry?? I would hope not… but then again, I hoped you would do my contest....

Now my night is ruined... :'( :'( :'(

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 17, 2010 - 8:08pm

Chris, why haven't you written back to me yet?? I was crying so much yesterday that now my [[cat]] got upset and ran out of the house, and now I can't find him! I'm afraid my cat ran away!! Where have you been, Chris??}}

{{EmailReply|September 18, 2010 - 3:48pm

I've had a busy day yesterday running errands with my family and such. Oh my god, I am soo sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I pray that you'll find him/her soon and safe. The best you can do is print and put up a few flyers with a photo on it and your best contact info.

And I did not realize that you only wanted Little Details; I thought you meant Really, Deep Secrets that NO One Else would know. I am soo sorry for the misunderstanding. Since that is the case, I Will make the short, fun videos for your contest. You have your man. ;) And a different silly costume per day is a bit much, unless I'm misunderstanding that detail, and you really mean different sets of clothing from what I normally wear. Please verify that for me.

Good News, the Sale of my [[Sega]] Consoles went through successfully; $120 easy. Since we're delaying our meet, though, I put half of it into my bank, and gave the other half to my father to help quell the debt a bit.

I also have an idea, and a suggestion for you, for an article for your School Paper, and a way you and I can meet sooner. :) You can do an article on Internet Safety and Cyber-Bully/Troll Protection, and since you know a Big Time Victim of years of this torment (me, LOL), you can personally interview me while I offer my own personal views, tips for safety and protection, etc. This would work soo goood for you and me; a great article for you to write, you and I can meet sooner, and this article would help give me a better reputation over what's been said on the internet. Think it over and get back to me on that.

One more thing, even though I did get a sneak peak of you, it did give me something better of you to jack off to, and even better; I've been jacking off sometimes with you in my mind, imagination and heart, and now I have a better perception of your pretty breasts. Plus, this allowed me to see your figure, and let me tell you, you have a Great Figure, Jackie. :) Take everything I'm confiding into you right now as a big compliment, Sweetheart.

Also, I've attached photos of my room spread, and a new photo of myself in a fun shirt I purchased from Spencers a few months ago, for you. Look at me, I'm an Archer, and I'm aiming my arrow at you, because I want you and I Love You.

Enjoy. :)

I'll bug ya later, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 18, 2010 - 5:54pm

Hi Chris!

Oh honey, I'm sorry we got that confused. I guess I wasn't clear the first time I brought up the "secret" thing. Thank you so much for clearing it up for me. Whew, that's a load off my mind. As for the [[Cosplay|costumes]], I also didn't mean for you to do anything too extravagant for those, since they'd be daily and of course it would be a pretty big hassle if you had to make up something big for each day. I was just thinking you could do some simple little costume piece each day, like maybe paint your face up one day, or wear a cape around your shoulders, or put a paper mask on, or something like that. Nothing too fancy. I'm sure I can think of some simple suggestions along the way, too. :) Tell you what, I'll come up with a list of ideas that I think will work.

So, I'm glad that you liked the picture of me. So you jack off with me in mind sometimes? What other things do you think of when you do it? ;) I guess [[Lars]]' treachery had at least one good effect. I've been trying to write him to tell him off for what he did, but I don't have his number anymore and the email address I have for him seems to be invalid now because my emails are getting bounced back. I really want to lay into him, though. I wish I knew how to locate him or contact him. Any suggestions on how to find a person? He's probably laughing to himself right now about releasing my pictures. Worthless prick. Agh, he just gets me so angry and upset all at the same time. I'm glad I have you to vent to about it, though, sweetie :)

You know what? I really like your article idea! I have a midterm project coming up that's based around doing an interview, and I was going to do something internet-related anyway; I think this would be a really interesting path to take, I'll tell my professor about it on Monday. In the meantime, I'm going to start putting together a structure for the interview, questions I can ask, that sort of thing. By my next email I should have some preliminary questions I can ask you and you can give me some detailed answers, and then we can build it from there. Unfortunately, like I said I really don't think I'm going to have time to come home again before November 1st, but look at it this way: If I'm integrating you into my schoolwork, then we'll be that much closer for the duration! I'm sorry sweetie, I know it's tough not seeing me, I don't like not seeing you either, but I'm just getting so swamped this term :( But it's only just going to be a few weeks before I'm definitely home anyway, and starting on the 1st I'll have some extended leave time from school so we can spend ALL our time together :)

Thanks for the pictures of your room, I was kind of hoping for a video of it, but these are still cool. Looks like there's a lot of interesting stuff with history in there. I have a few questions about some of it:
-Right below that [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] picture to the right of your tv, there's a picture of two people sitting on a couch on a blue background, what is that?
-Right to the left of the [[TV]] there's a thing that looks like a black wand with a small light bulb on it hanging off your shelf, what is that thing?
-Are those VHS tapes on the bottom of your shelf in those blue boxes? I haven't seen a VHS tape in a long time, what do you have on all those? Home movies?
-On the arm of your couch, there's a pink thing that looks kind of like a pillow, but it's oddly shaped. What is it? Where did you get it?

Well anyway, I've got some other homework to do right now, but I'm going to start crafting the questions for my interview with you. I'm really excited about this!! I mean, people have written articles on cyberbullying before, but you've got kind of a unique perspective that I don't think has ever really been brought into such an article before. I'll write to you soon!! :) :) :)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie

P.S. My cat is fine now, turns out he was just hiding in the bushes at a house a block away, they called and let me know. The mischievous little scamp is back home safe and sound. :)}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 19, 2010 - 1:54pm

I'm happy that you're happy again, and that you liked my suggestion for the interview.

To answer your questions, A) [[Random-access humor|my mind is random]], and during masturbation, it can be a pain while I'm concentrating on having you mounted on me with your hair waving about, the pleasured look on your face, your breasts bouncing, and your bod going up and down. :) Aside from the imagination-play, whatever else current-topic can randomly pop in for a short moment for one or few seconds. When the side-thought goes away, my mind goes blank, and I have to concentrate to put you back up there, but it's a fairly quick recovery. B) That is a pastel drawing I drew in [[High School]] of a likely future for me; me and [[Lovely Weather|my future wife]] (physical appearance to actual future not necessarily applicable) and our child watching television. That's on the right half of the drawing; on the left half I'm working at a job on an assembly line. C) The wands with the spheres are my Playstation Move Motion Controllers; I got those, plus a Navigation Controller and Sports Champions recently after preordering them with the HUGE Credit I got from trading in a ton of Software; mostly from my Game Boy Advance collection.

I'm going to go off-topic for a bit, here. I have been playing video games ALL of my life from after I was born, starting from a [[Commodore 64]] Computer. I have been working more on being social in real life and other social activities, and I am looking to do more of such and then some with you in the near future. I was very social-able in Middle and High School. And I am looking for more job opportunities to apply for. The point is, Video Games have been a Major Part of my whole life and who I am, but real-life duties always will take higher priority over them. Plus I have been giving you my heart-filled energy and compassion, and I have recently sold away the vast majority of my Older Consoles and their software I've been holding onto for soo long. I will sometimes get a new piece of software for my current console, but it is NOT Often. I am asking you to not judge me for my gaming ways, because I am a LOT more than that, as you are aware.

I apologize for going into detail like that, but I felt it was applicable to establish that point. So, in a sense, I am blowing off the steam your way in confidence.

Going back to the Q&A, D) I do have a ton of VHS Tapes in those small boxes down there. NOT so many home movies; it's 99% TV Shows and Movies; about 50-75% being Cartoons and Animation. Currently, I am without a VCR that has a working VHS-Playing capacity, and I am looking for a fully operational replacement for an inexpensive price. And E) that pink thing is a Pillow, which is shaped to simulate a pair of womanly breasts with erect nipples. I got it at Spencers a while back. It is good for neck support while I slumber.

I am happy that we got the misunderstandings for the [[YouTube]] vids you want me to make later cleared up too. Inexpensive, fun things I can put on for fun. I've come up with a few comical skit ideas, but I'll let you wait to see them for yourself. ;)

Revenge is a dish best served cold. The recent situation with Lars and the photograph(s) is nothing major. I'd suggest just letting it go and moving on with your life. Normally, though I would suggest ignoring the Trolls, but if you feel like you really need to lash out at Lars, then I would say inquire this "Robert" person about where he found the photograph, specifically, with the webpage's address. It is also possible that "Robert" may actually be Lars going by an alias, but do not be sure until you've found more. You may also try googling Lars by his full name and see if you can find his current e-mail address. But I warn you, should you contact "Robert", be wary of his possible Trolling/Cyber-Bully methods; do not respond in anger, and if you feel like he is a "Dead End" towards getting to Lars, then STOP communications with him, Block his e-mail, and Do Not Reply.

I am reminded of a [[Flipnote Hatena|FlipNote]] I've watched on the Hatena through my DSi, you can view it here...
http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user
I also have it saved on my DSi's SD Card. It speaks truth on the Trolls and essentially dealing with them by just Ignoring Them.

I look forward to the interview, I am free to drive over to your place to do the interview in person, but Q&A over e-mail is cool.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 19, 2010 - 8:20pm

Hey Chris!

Chris, I'm kind of surprised that you brought up your video game addiction, that came out of the blue. But I appreciate you feeling like you can talk to me about it and vent your feelings to me. Since you brought it up, I'll reply with my understanding of the situation:

Video games have definitely been a huge part of your life and still are; you say that you are getting over your addiction, but that is obviously not true. You say that you have recently sold off so much of your older games - which is good - then you used the credit you got from that to just go buy new video game toys anyway. And you couldn't be bothered to work up a little spending money to go to Otakon, and you kept making up the excuse that your parents would have you arrested if you tried to come see, but it took you a short four days to work up $300 for a new PS3 when you wanted a new one, even though you told me you could go a long time without a PS3 and I asked you to do so.

So your addiction is every bit as strong as ever. But you know that, I know that, let's not talk about your unwillingness to change your habits since there's nothing new to say. Let's talk about the interview! You know, I was thinking to myself that email might not be the best way to conduct the interview, as we would have to wait for each others' replies and the question-and-answer process could take a long time. I think it would be really helpful if I could talk to you over Instant Messaging so that we can have the conversation in real-time. When would you be able to be online and do that with me, sweetie? I still have to put together a list of questions (Today was a busy day) but how about we do it Tuesday afternoon or evening?

I have to go for now, but I'll write more later sweetie!!

XOXOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 20, 2010 - 6:15pm

Although, I feel uncertain with the IM situation, but I'm willing to try it. I think I still have AIM access through this e-mail of mine; I'll add your e-mail address and see if I can get a connection or something going there. On the other hand, doesn't your room over there have a phone? That can be a plan "B", a phone conversation. If we go with the phone conversation, I'll need the phone number's Area Code, so I can watch for it on my Cell's Caller ID.

Anyhoo, I appreciate your understanding of my gaming thing here, but I feel disagreement with still having a major addiction. I feel that after you and I get together in person, I will be spending a lot less time on my games. You see, I feel if I have you, a real person, my girlfriend and Sweetheart to better influence me to do more outside activities and such, things will work out well. The sooner I have you with me, the more I can get out of my house. Flipside, if I came to you over there, it's the same thing, but I'd be going to you. :)

I look forward to doing the interview and offering my thoughts to you for the article.

TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 20, 2010 - 7:01pm

Hey Chris!

I totally get where you're coming from on the gaming addiction thing, sweetie - bargaining is a very common way of avoidance when one has an addiction; that is to say, your attempt to bargain that "if you had me, then you'd stop playing games so much" is totally understandable. But that's why you have to leave your comfort zone and actually try to make things better now, rather then wait for some hypothetical situation where everything is perfect - because if you keep to that attitude, then even after we meet in person you'll have some new requirement that has to be met before you'll start working on your addiction, and then another, and then another, so on, etc. But breaking out of that bargaining addict's attitude is key to success - you can't count on me, or anyone else to just magically make your addiction go away. You have to do it yourself. And right now you're obviously still at a place where you don't want to get better, because you're still placing the onus on me to fix your addiction for you. I can't do that now, and I can't do it after we meet in person. The onus is yours, Chris. But I know you have the true strength and will to overcome your hurdle when you finally decide to step it up, sweetie. I have faith in you!! <3 <3 <3

Anyway, I don't really like the idea of using the phone for an interview. It's a lot easier to have a record of the conversation from the IM log so that I can better incorporate it into my paper; if we did it on the phone I'd be halting to write notes of your responses constantly. I added your email to my AIM list, you should add mine. Let's both be online tomorrow night at 9:00pm. That should give us plenty of time to talk together. And if we don't cover everything I'd like to, we can just continue it again another night! (We can talk more anyway even when I'm done doing the interview :)

Well, I'm going to start putting together some questions again. I don't want to have a huge script or anything for what we talk about, because I think it will flow better if we can have a natural conversation and let things come up as they become important. But I have some broad topics I'll want to bring up when we begin. And I'm sure you also have some ideas about the important subjects that you think need to be given priority, so you can bring those up to when we are doing it. I'll write more later, but I look forward to IMing tomorrow night, hon!!!

XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 21, 2010 - 5:33pm

I will be online tonight at about 8:45, and I'll wait for your IM on my AIM, and we'll see if we can successfully talk there.

In response to your first paragraph of the last e-mail, I did not mean to imply any "magical" riddance of my addiction with your presence or such. I meant that with you getting me out of the house more often to be with you and whatnot, I'd be doing more outside things away from my games. And After doing a great number of outside activities a number of times, Then my addiction may fade into something smaller. I do not have that many ideas of places or events I would enjoy for myself by myself. I have tried such with events like the concerts at [[Fridays After Five|Fridays After 5]]; by my lonesome, it wasn't all that swift for me; I need someone my age range like you to enjoy such things with and make me better enjoy them.

I have a lot of things to discuss with tonight for your article, in addition to your questions, so I should have a lot for the article for you. :) Plus, I have in-game photographed my TrollBusters, Cal and Dee Dee (Dee^2), their TrollBuster Truck (a cleaned and souped-up Garbage Truck), myself as an honorary TrollBuster, the sponser car, and a T-Shirt I have come up with for possible creation and promotional distribution to make people aware of the Trolls and protecting themselves from them. Attached are the photographs.

I'll TTYTonight.
Stay Safe and Sweetest,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 22, 2010 - 8:27pm

Hey Chris!

So Samantha sent me an email talking about your recent discussions with her, she wrote to me to blow off some steam - she was mad because you've been lying to her repeatedly. And then she said YOU got offended at HER because she tried to call you out on your wrongdoing and that you claimed she was "raising her voice" every time she was simply standing up for herself; that's why she wrote me so angry. How come you don't want to talk to have your talks with her anymore? I mean, aside from myself she's kind of your only friend, and now you want to blow her off just because she stood up for herself and wouldn't just be a doormat to your disrespect? I guess if that's the way you want to go, by all means, but you complain a lot how much trouble you have making new friends, so I don't get why you want to just toss away one that's been trying very hard to help you. Well, since she wrote to me I thought I should let you know.

Anyway, since we had been talking about the CWCki last night, I looked again today, and there's a new page. Apparently they have records of your Best Buy purchases. Looking at that, here's a list of how much you've spent lately, and the dates you spent on (I bolded the dollar amounts to make them stand out):

9/20/2010: a [[PSN]] card, [[Wikipedia:Silent Hill (film)|Silent Hill the movie]], [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|Resident Evil 5]]. $43.98
9/17/2010: a Playstation Eye camera mount. $14.99
9/06/2010: a [[Netflix]] 1 month subscription. $8.99
8/05/2010: Two PSN cards. $20.00
7/30/2010: A PSN card. $10.00
7/16/2010: [[ModNation Racers]] for PSP. (Don't you already have that for PS3? Why get the same game for two systems?) $19.99
7/02/2010: A game called "NDS Flaw" (what is that?), as well as a DSI zoom case.. $20.98

So that's a lot of purchases for the past couple of months, totalling to $138.93, and that's just a little bit of the list, I didn't go through the whole thing. And that's just at [[Best Buy]] - you've talked about spending quite a bit at [[Gamestop]] too, not just the $300 for the new PS3 (which brings the total to $438.93, not counting your other Gamestop purchases, which I don't have accurate figures for), but also on other things besides that. I just thought it would be helpful if I pointed these dollar amounts out plainly, because when you see them like this it becomes harder to fool yourself into thinking you've begun to work on your gaming addiction. I know it probably makes it all feel kind of silly when you look at the plain facts like this, but trust me, once you make the decision to kick the habit and actually try to get over your game addiction, this will all just seem so funny in hindsight. I know it's all at your own pace and that no one can make your life better but yourself, but I do really hope you consider turning yourself around and beginning to combat your game addiction. Just think what you could have done with that $450+ if you hadn't dropped it on games! But like I say, I have faith in your strength and will, Chris!!

Anyway, in other news... ugh, I got into contact with Lars. He's such an asshole. I am just so mad about it, I don't even feel like talking about him right now... ugh. Maybe we can talk about him in our next IM chat. Speaking of, will you be available tomorrow night at 9pm? We can talk then. I can vent to you about what Lars did to me, if you don't mind listening to my sad story... :( but I know you're such a good listener, and even better at cheering me up. ;) ;)

Well, let me know so that we can confirm that we are on for tomorrow night. Hope to talk to you then!!

XO XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 23, 2010 - 7:56pm

I've mostly told Samantha the truth when we talked, but I did lie some, but I had my good reasons, between sparing her feelings, making the conversation less embarrassing for me, etc. Recently, she asked me to list some lies I've told her in the past, which I recollected and did inform her of. And in that same e-mail, I've told her about how she raises her voice to me when she doesn't have to. I listen to her and her sound advice; she thought I was blowing her off when she talked less aggressively in the past, when I did not; I hang and have hung onto every word she says to me. Every detail is saved in my memory and subconscious. Currently, it is NOT that I don't want to talk to her; I e-mail daily on the current events, but I felt with how she was feeling after my comment on the raised voice, we needed a bit of time apart. I will be back on the phone with her very soon after emotions have simmered down. It makes me feel sad that I've made her feel like this, but I was only doing what she asked me to do; tell the truth.

Damn those trolls; I'll have to change the password on my RewardZone account now. For your information... A) the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a spot of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit. [[Wikipedia:Toys "R" Us|Toys 'R' Us]] had [[Wikipedia:Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands]] for PS3 for a lower price than the current $39.99 price at Best Buy; I paid 20.98 for it at T.R.U. After that, I took the game to Best Buy, told them I received it as a gift and got the store credit of 41.??, THEN I got what I really wanted, [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|Resident Evil 5]] G.E. and a 10 dollar PSN Card, but even the two items would still leave me with some credit, so I added [[Wikipedia:Silent Hill (film)|the Silent Hill movie]], and paid the 3 dollar difference in cash. R.E.5.G.E. was on sale for 10 less than normal this week for 29.99, it was now PSMove Compatible, I wanted a good shooter for the Move, and I had heard a LOT of good things about the game long before as well. I just wanted the PSP version of ModNation as well, after enjoying the PS3 version as well. The "NDS Flaw" item was a Nintendo DSi game titled "[[Wikipedia:System Flaw|System Flaw]]". I got it the same day I got the Zoom Case.

I agree with you on the addiction issue.

Yes, I will be free tomorrow night at 9:00; I'm looking forward just talking with you again, and I will be most happy to listen to your story and make you feel better. :)

New topics: my other thoughts for Troll Awareness and Cyber-Bully Self-Protection. You can quote me on the following paragraphs for the article.

There are people around the world who for their own individual reasons seek cruel laughs, fun or comfort in making fun at other people's expenses, all celebrities included. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America]], have fallen victim of these cads, these scoundrels, these scumbags of the earth's soil. I am original creator of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], as well as their hometown of [[Cwcville]], Virginia, United States of America. True, they were inspired by [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]], but they were still considerably original, even positively parodied. I had a self-hand-drawn comic book series of them, with myself as a self-proclaimed "Intrusive Director", similar to [[Wikipedia:Shinichi Watanabe|Shinichi Watanabe]] of the anime "[[Excel Saga]]". As the years passed in the story creation, I later discovered that I was being bad-mouthed behind my back in November of [[2007]]] by individuals who hide behind the "Mother's Skirt" of the Internet, who are referred to as Trolls, or Cyber-Bullies. Their groups and icons include that of "[[4-Chan]]", the "[[Pedofork|Pedobear]]", the "Epic Smile", "Chargin' Muh Lazur"; the list goes on. They all think they are of a high and mighty rank above EVERYBODY around the world, including and especially every individual who they make dark mockeries of. These Trolls not only put in their own twisted, evil thoughts on the innocent people they pick on, but from EVERYTHING the innocents put on the internet from Typed, Quoted Text; drawings and photographs, YouTube Videos, etc, etc, etc. And even worse, the Trolls DECEIVE and BLACKMAIL us innocents by establishing Online Relationships, making us open up emotionally to them to confide our private Truths, Photographs, Videos for Footage. They deceived [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|my "CWC On TV" DVD]] from me by pretending to be an old childhood girl friend of mine. And other times, they deceived and blackmailed me to give them naked photographs and videos I create of myself. And then they throw Horrendous Mislabels of HOMOSEXUALITY upon us by PHOTOSHOPPING the photographs and altering the videos. They Blackmailed me by hacking into my own personal Internet Accounts, such as [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]], but specifically my PlayStation Network Account. They also have gotten into my bank and credit card accounts. They can just as easily get into YOUR accounts of Monetary Value, INCLUDING your XBox Live Account, and Possibly Wii and DSi Ware too. Their hacking prowess is unknowingly powerful, depending on WHO is in their organization for their crass "LULZ," which I personally define as "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|Laughs Under Lucrativeness]]".

I tell every person who has been, as well as not yet but will be, Tormented and Found by a Troll/Cyber-Bully. YOU ALL can Protect Yourselves by simply Practicing the Safety Advice from me here, as well as other Cyber-Bully Prevention organizations found on the internet AND in real life; Google these places. Simply, though, you can Protect Yourselves by simply,
A) NEVER giving out your Personal, Private Information to Anyone or Anywhere suspicious. Especially those who would even be your "Friends" Online. If you can't and won't tell a Close Relative, like your Grandmother, DO NOT Tell ANYONE. This includes your PASSWORDS for EVERYTHING. And for ALL of you Gamers, your E-Mail Addresses you have Linked to your Console Accounts.
B) Have the Latest, Highly-Recommended and Fully Upgrade Anti-Virus/Anti-SpyWare Software installed on your Computers and Laptops. If your Wi-Fi and Ethernet Cables are at all linked to your PC, the Trolls can access EVERYTHING you have within Wi-Fi and Ethernet Distance, INCLUDING your gaming consoles and other devices. And when you're not using the Wi-Fi, unplug your Wireless Router, but NOT the Modem. If you unplug your Modem, you'll have troubles with Duplicate IP Addresses, and you'll need to restart your computer. Also, your consoles may have troubles getting online when you have Duplicate IP Addresses.
C) DO NOT put your Private Photos and Videos on the internet, this includes WITHOUT A DOUBT Naked Photographs and Videos of yourself and all those around you. And also do not put up anything else that will Incriminate you, your household, and everything else you care about.
D) Keep your Eyes Open even in REAL LIFE; the Trolls will follow you; take ANY Photographs and Videos of you and all around you without your Knowledge, Consent, Approval or Permission.
E) A Good Reputation is a Happy Reputation, so do what you can to make and keep a Good Reputation as an All-Around Good Person. Be Generous, Be Kind, Be Courteous, Be Caring and Understanding, Be a Positive Yourself.

And if you Suspect ANYONE around you who is likely to be a Troll or Cyber-Bully, Report them to the Police or High Authority, including your own and Their Family(ies). Be Cautious of the Signs.
-They have too many secrets, or at like they are hiding a lot of things.
-They constantly take photos and videos of ANY Person, even when that person is doing NOTHING at all.
-They are constantly on their Computers.
-Their Bookmarks and History include Trolling or Cyber-Bully Forums, Websites and whatnot.
-They have a HIGH Knowledge of Hacking into Computers and they use their Knowledge for Evil or Trolling Purposes.
-They have a number of Online Aliases.
-They talk a LOT of the Internet and speak ill of, or appear to be FAKING speaking nice of, Anyone.
-If you get any Hate Messages that make you feel irritated or angry, DO NOT RESPOND. Trolls also look for the thrill of Anger or Sadness from their victims.

I also put forward a truthful FlipNote from user, "8-BIT" ("DizzyDrill"),
http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user.
He has the right idea of what Trolls/Cyber-Bullies think in their desire to get a rise out of you. If you have a DSi, you can download this FlipNote for yourself through the FREE "FlipNote Studio" Program from the DSiWare Store.

If you are a Victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying, and you KNOW who the person is and where they are in Real Life, there is a good chance you'll be able to legally sue them. Talk to a legal attorney for more information and details on how.

And if you ARE a Troll or Cyber-Bully, and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, You'd be doing yourself a favor GIVING UP your ways, because YOU WILL BE FOUND AND PUNISHED.

Like the TrollBusters, Cal and Dee Dee, of Cwcville, VA who always catch the Troll in the Act, YOU can do your part in Stopping the Trolling and Cyber-Bullying.

How did you like that speech I've put together; I'd like your honest feedback?

With that, I'll wrap this up for now, and I will talk to you tomorrow night on the AIM at 9:00. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 15

2010-11-08T22:38:43Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: fixin redlinks.

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 16-23 [[September 2010]].

{{EmailReply|September 16, 2010 - 7:34pm

We all learn from our past mistakes. I've made a lot myself with my past times on the [[internet]] like you did here. All we can do is just not to think about it and move forward in life. Chalk this to another thing you and I have in common; there's [[Nudes|naked pics]] of us on the internet, yet they ended up there by mistake (or in some of my cases, from deception, blackmail and spyware).

Jackie, I am proud of you for sharing your [[honest]]y and emotions with me; your story shall remain strictly confidential between you and me. And I am here for you, as your trusted Sweetheart. LOL :)

I am happy I could make you happy, [[Sweetheart]]. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

As for your contest, it is a fun idea, but I feel posting daily on the [[YouTube]] is too much. As a strict rule on internet safety: Keep your personal information to yourself and not make it go public. But I have a better idea that I feel will allow you to see me on the daily fun as well. I will take photographs daily of thing(s) I'm doing and such, and e-mail them to you. And in each of those e-mails, I will confide a secret with you.

There's too much of me on the internet these days, and I do not want to put any more stuff about me online that the trolls can toy with to make my reputation worse, and even worse bring more shame to my family.

And I want a daily secret and current photographs from you as well in response to each of my photo(s) and secret(s) I send you daily. Keeping all that in mind with the rest of your rules, you agree to my amendments, and I will "participate in your contest". Okay, Jackie-Heart? :)

I'll TTYL.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 16, 2010 - 8:19pm

Chris, are you ashamed of our love? We have nothing to hide. I didn't mean I want you to post super-confidential stuff. Just little fun things. Like, your favorite food, or a fond memory, or something. Is thirty seconds a day really too much to ask? All I wanted is for you to put on a simple costume or something, turn on the camera, dance a little and say hi and say a little "secret", and that's it. Once a day. I don't get why you won't do that for me.

In fact, I feel a little hurt that you would put down my contest and try to take it over. I'm doing this contest so you can win me - all of me, Chris. I want us to fuck baby, I want to pleasure you - but as a reward. Haven't you put me through enough emotional turmoils, enough ups and downs? This is a very small request, Chris. ESPECIALLY seeing as you have now prematurely seen me naked. Please, Chris. Don't make me beg. I want you to do this contest. If you do it, and you play by my rules, I promise to reward you. Will secrets, will pictures, and with my sex. But you have to show some effort and what you replied with made me cry! I am still crying all over my key board. I don't want to cry! Do you want me to cry?? I would hope not… but then again, I hoped you would do my contest....

Now my night is ruined... :'( :'( :'(

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 17, 2010 - 8:08pm

Chris, why haven't you written back to me yet?? I was crying so much yesterday that now my [[cat]] got upset and ran out of the house, and now I can't find him! I'm afraid my cat ran away!! Where have you been, Chris??}}

{{EmailReply|September 18, 2010 - 3:48pm

I've had a busy day yesterday running errands with my family and such. Oh my god, I am soo sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I pray that you'll find him/her soon and safe. The best you can do is print and put up a few flyers with a photo on it and your best contact info.

And I did not realize that you only wanted Little Details; I thought you meant Really, Deep Secrets that NO One Else would know. I am soo sorry for the misunderstanding. Since that is the case, I Will make the short, fun videos for your contest. You have your man. ;) And a different silly costume per day is a bit much, unless I'm misunderstanding that detail, and you really mean different sets of clothing from what I normally wear. Please verify that for me.

Good News, the Sale of my [[Sega]] Consoles went through successfully; $120 easy. Since we're delaying our meet, though, I put half of it into my bank, and gave the other half to my father to help quell the debt a bit.

I also have an idea, and a suggestion for you, for an article for your School Paper, and a way you and I can meet sooner. :) You can do an article on Internet Safety and Cyber-Bully/Troll Protection, and since you know a Big Time Victim of years of this torment (me, LOL), you can personally interview me while I offer my own personal views, tips for safety and protection, etc. This would work soo goood for you and me; a great article for you to write, you and I can meet sooner, and this article would help give me a better reputation over what's been said on the internet. Think it over and get back to me on that.

One more thing, even though I did get a sneak peak of you, it did give me something better of you to jack off to, and even better; I've been jacking off sometimes with you in my mind, imagination and heart, and now I have a better perception of your pretty breasts. Plus, this allowed me to see your figure, and let me tell you, you have a Great Figure, Jackie. :) Take everything I'm confiding into you right now as a big compliment, Sweetheart.

Also, I've attached photos of my room spread, and a new photo of myself in a fun shirt I purchased from Spencers a few months ago, for you. Look at me, I'm an Archer, and I'm aiming my arrow at you, because I want you and I Love You.

Enjoy. :)

I'll bug ya later, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 18, 2010 - 5:54pm

Hi Chris!

Oh honey, I'm sorry we got that confused. I guess I wasn't clear the first time I brought up the "secret" thing. Thank you so much for clearing it up for me. Whew, that's a load off my mind. As for the [[Cosplay|costumes]], I also didn't mean for you to do anything too extravagant for those, since they'd be daily and of course it would be a pretty big hassle if you had to make up something big for each day. I was just thinking you could do some simple little costume piece each day, like maybe paint your face up one day, or wear a cape around your shoulders, or put a paper mask on, or something like that. Nothing too fancy. I'm sure I can think of some simple suggestions along the way, too. :) Tell you what, I'll come up with a list of ideas that I think will work.

So, I'm glad that you liked the picture of me. So you jack off with me in mind sometimes? What other things do you think of when you do it? ;) I guess [[Lars]]' treachery had at least one good effect. I've been trying to write him to tell him off for what he did, but I don't have his number anymore and the email address I have for him seems to be invalid now because my emails are getting bounced back. I really want to lay into him, though. I wish I knew how to locate him or contact him. Any suggestions on how to find a person? He's probably laughing to himself right now about releasing my pictures. Worthless prick. Agh, he just gets me so angry and upset all at the same time. I'm glad I have you to vent to about it, though, sweetie :)

You know what? I really like your article idea! I have a midterm project coming up that's based around doing an interview, and I was going to do something internet-related anyway; I think this would be a really interesting path to take, I'll tell my professor about it on Monday. In the meantime, I'm going to start putting together a structure for the interview, questions I can ask, that sort of thing. By my next email I should have some preliminary questions I can ask you and you can give me some detailed answers, and then we can build it from there. Unfortunately, like I said I really don't think I'm going to have time to come home again before November 1st, but look at it this way: If I'm integrating you into my schoolwork, then we'll be that much closer for the duration! I'm sorry sweetie, I know it's tough not seeing me, I don't like not seeing you either, but I'm just getting so swamped this term :( But it's only just going to be a few weeks before I'm definitely home anyway, and starting on the 1st I'll have some extended leave time from school so we can spend ALL our time together :)

Thanks for the pictures of your room, I was kind of hoping for a video of it, but these are still cool. Looks like there's a lot of interesting stuff with history in there. I have a few questions about some of it:
-Right below that [[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] picture to the right of your tv, there's a picture of two people sitting on a couch on a blue background, what is that?
-Right to the left of the [[TV]] there's a thing that looks like a black wand with a small light bulb on it hanging off your shelf, what is that thing?
-Are those VHS tapes on the bottom of your shelf in those blue boxes? I haven't seen a VHS tape in a long time, what do you have on all those? Home movies?
-On the arm of your couch, there's a pink thing that looks kind of like a pillow, but it's oddly shaped. What is it? Where did you get it?

Well anyway, I've got some other homework to do right now, but I'm going to start crafting the questions for my interview with you. I'm really excited about this!! I mean, people have written articles on cyberbullying before, but you've got kind of a unique perspective that I don't think has ever really been brought into such an article before. I'll write to you soon!! :) :) :)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie

P.S. My cat is fine now, turns out he was just hiding in the bushes at a house a block away, they called and let me know. The mischievous little scamp is back home safe and sound. :)}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 19, 2010 - 1:54pm

I'm happy that you're happy again, and that you liked my suggestion for the interview.

To answer your questions, A) [[Random-access humor|my mind is random]], and during masturbation, it can be a pain while I'm concentrating on having you mounted on me with your hair waving about, the pleasured look on your face, your breasts bouncing, and your bod going up and down. :) Aside from the imagination-play, whatever else current-topic can randomly pop in for a short moment for one or few seconds. When the side-thought goes away, my mind goes blank, and I have to concentrate to put you back up there, but it's a fairly quick recovery. B) That is a pastel drawing I drew in [[High School]] of a likely future for me; me and [[Lovely Weather|my future wife]] (physical appearance to actual future not necessarily applicable) and our child watching television. That's on the right half of the drawing; on the left half I'm working at a job on an assembly line. C) The wands with the spheres are my Playstation Move Motion Controllers; I got those, plus a Navigation Controller and Sports Champions recently after preordering them with the HUGE Credit I got from trading in a ton of Software; mostly from my Game Boy Advance collection.

I'm going to go off-topic for a bit, here. I have been playing video games ALL of my life from after I was born, starting from a [[Commodore 64]] Computer. I have been working more on being social in real life and other social activities, and I am looking to do more of such and then some with you in the near future. I was very social-able in Middle and High School. And I am looking for more job opportunities to apply for. The point is, Video Games have been a Major Part of my whole life and who I am, but real-life duties always will take higher priority over them. Plus I have been giving you my heart-filled energy and compassion, and I have recently sold away the vast majority of my Older Consoles and their software I've been holding onto for soo long. I will sometimes get a new piece of software for my current console, but it is NOT Often. I am asking you to not judge me for my gaming ways, because I am a LOT more than that, as you are aware.

I apologize for going into detail like that, but I felt it was applicable to establish that point. So, in a sense, I am blowing off the steam your way in confidence.

Going back to the Q&A, D) I do have a ton of VHS Tapes in those small boxes down there. NOT so many home movies; it's 99% TV Shows and Movies; about 50-75% being Cartoons and Animation. Currently, I am without a VCR that has a working VHS-Playing capacity, and I am looking for a fully operational replacement for an inexpensive price. And E) that pink thing is a Pillow, which is shaped to simulate a pair of womanly breasts with erect nipples. I got it at Spencers a while back. It is good for neck support while I slumber.

I am happy that we got the misunderstandings for the [[YouTube]] vids you want me to make later cleared up too. Inexpensive, fun things I can put on for fun. I've come up with a few comical skit ideas, but I'll let you wait to see them for yourself. ;)

Revenge is a dish best served cold. The recent situation with Lars and the photograph(s) is nothing major. I'd suggest just letting it go and moving on with your life. Normally, though I would suggest ignoring the Trolls, but if you feel like you really need to lash out at Lars, then I would say inquire this "Robert" person about where he found the photograph, specifically, with the webpage's address. It is also possible that "Robert" may actually be Lars going by an alias, but do not be sure until you've found more. You may also try googling Lars by his full name and see if you can find his current e-mail address. But I warn you, should you contact "Robert", be wary of his possible Trolling/Cyber-Bully methods; do not respond in anger, and if you feel like he is a "Dead End" towards getting to Lars, then STOP communications with him, Block his e-mail, and Do Not Reply.

I am reminded of a [[Flipnote Hatena|FlipNote]] I've watched on the Hatena through my DSi, you can view it here...
http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user
I also have it saved on my DSi's SD Card. It speaks truth on the Trolls and essentially dealing with them by just Ignoring Them.

I look forward to the interview, I am free to drive over to your place to do the interview in person, but Q&A over e-mail is cool.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet, Sweetheart.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 19, 2010 - 8:20pm

Hey Chris!

Chris, I'm kind of surprised that you brought up your video game addiction, that came out of the blue. But I appreciate you feeling like you can talk to me about it and vent your feelings to me. Since you brought it up, I'll reply with my understanding of the situation:

Video games have definitely been a huge part of your life and still are; you say that you are getting over your addiction, but that is obviously not true. You say that you have recently sold off so much of your older games - which is good - then you used the credit you got from that to just go buy new video game toys anyway. And you couldn't be bothered to work up a little spending money to go to Otakon, and you kept making up the excuse that your parents would have you arrested if you tried to come see, but it took you a short four days to work up $300 for a new PS3 when you wanted a new one, even though you told me you could go a long time without a PS3 and I asked you to do so.

So your addiction is every bit as strong as ever. But you know that, I know that, let's not talk about your unwillingness to change your habits since there's nothing new to say. Let's talk about the interview! You know, I was thinking to myself that email might not be the best way to conduct the interview, as we would have to wait for each others' replies and the question-and-answer process could take a long time. I think it would be really helpful if I could talk to you over Instant Messaging so that we can have the conversation in real-time. When would you be able to be online and do that with me, sweetie? I still have to put together a list of questions (Today was a busy day) but how about we do it Tuesday afternoon or evening?

I have to go for now, but I'll write more later sweetie!!

XOXOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 20, 2010 - 6:15pm

Although, I feel uncertain with the IM situation, but I'm willing to try it. I think I still have AIM access through this e-mail of mine; I'll add your e-mail address and see if I can get a connection or something going there. On the other hand, doesn't your room over there have a phone? That can be a plan "B", a phone conversation. If we go with the phone conversation, I'll need the phone number's Area Code, so I can watch for it on my Cell's Caller ID.

Anyhoo, I appreciate your understanding of my gaming thing here, but I feel disagreement with still having a major addiction. I feel that after you and I get together in person, I will be spending a lot less time on my games. You see, I feel if I have you, a real person, my girlfriend and Sweetheart to better influence me to do more outside activities and such, things will work out well. The sooner I have you with me, the more I can get out of my house. Flipside, if I came to you over there, it's the same thing, but I'd be going to you. :)

I look forward to doing the interview and offering my thoughts to you for the article.

TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 20, 2010 - 7:01pm

Hey Chris!

I totally get where you're coming from on the gaming addiction thing, sweetie - bargaining is a very common way of avoidance when one has an addiction; that is to say, your attempt to bargain that "if you had me, then you'd stop playing games so much" is totally understandable. But that's why you have to leave your comfort zone and actually try to make things better now, rather then wait for some hypothetical situation where everything is perfect - because if you keep to that attitude, then even after we meet in person you'll have some new requirement that has to be met before you'll start working on your addiction, and then another, and then another, so on, etc. But breaking out of that bargaining addict's attitude is key to success - you can't count on me, or anyone else to just magically make your addiction go away. You have to do it yourself. And right now you're obviously still at a place where you don't want to get better, because you're still placing the onus on me to fix your addiction for you. I can't do that now, and I can't do it after we meet in person. The onus is yours, Chris. But I know you have the true strength and will to overcome your hurdle when you finally decide to step it up, sweetie. I have faith in you!! <3 <3 <3

Anyway, I don't really like the idea of using the phone for an interview. It's a lot easier to have a record of the conversation from the IM log so that I can better incorporate it into my paper; if we did it on the phone I'd be halting to write notes of your responses constantly. I added your email to my AIM list, you should add mine. Let's both be online tomorrow night at 9:00pm. That should give us plenty of time to talk together. And if we don't cover everything I'd like to, we can just continue it again another night! (We can talk more anyway even when I'm done doing the interview :)

Well, I'm going to start putting together some questions again. I don't want to have a huge script or anything for what we talk about, because I think it will flow better if we can have a natural conversation and let things come up as they become important. But I have some broad topics I'll want to bring up when we begin. And I'm sure you also have some ideas about the important subjects that you think need to be given priority, so you can bring those up to when we are doing it. I'll write more later, but I look forward to IMing tomorrow night, hon!!!

XO XO XO XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 21, 2010 - 5:33pm

I will be online tonight at about 8:45, and I'll wait for your IM on my AIM, and we'll see if we can successfully talk there.

In response to your first paragraph of the last e-mail, I did not mean to imply any "magical" riddance of my addiction with your presence or such. I meant that with you getting me out of the house more often to be with you and whatnot, I'd be doing more outside things away from my games. And After doing a great number of outside activities a number of times, Then my addiction may fade into something smaller. I do not have that many ideas of places or events I would enjoy for myself by myself. I have tried such with events like the concerts at [[Fridays After Five|Fridays After 5]]; by my lonesome, it wasn't all that swift for me; I need someone my age range like you to enjoy such things with and make me better enjoy them.

I have a lot of things to discuss with tonight for your article, in addition to your questions, so I should have a lot for the article for you. :) Plus, I have in-game photographed my [[TrollBusters]], Cal and Dee Dee (Dee^2), their TrollBuster Truck (a cleaned and souped-up Garbage Truck), myself as an honorary TrollBuster, the sponser car, and a T-Shirt I have come up with for possible creation and promotional distribution to make people aware of the Trolls and protecting themselves from them. Attached are the photographs.

I'll TTYTonight.
Stay Safe and Sweetest,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 22, 2010 - 8:27pm

Hey Chris!

So Samantha sent me an email talking about your recent discussions with her, she wrote to me to blow off some steam - she was mad because you've been lying to her repeatedly. And then she said YOU got offended at HER because she tried to call you out on your wrongdoing and that you claimed she was "raising her voice" every time she was simply standing up for herself; that's why she wrote me so angry. How come you don't want to talk to have your talks with her anymore? I mean, aside from myself she's kind of your only friend, and now you want to blow her off just because she stood up for herself and wouldn't just be a doormat to your disrespect? I guess if that's the way you want to go, by all means, but you complain a lot how much trouble you have making new friends, so I don't get why you want to just toss away one that's been trying very hard to help you. Well, since she wrote to me I thought I should let you know.

Anyway, since we had been talking about the CWCki last night, I looked again today, and there's a new page. Apparently they have records of your Best Buy purchases. Looking at that, here's a list of how much you've spent lately, and the dates you spent on (I bolded the dollar amounts to make them stand out):

9/20/2010: a [[PSN]] card, [[Wikipedia:Silent Hill (film)|Silent Hill the movie]], [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|Resident Evil 5]]. $43.98
9/17/2010: a Playstation Eye camera mount. $14.99
9/06/2010: a [[Netflix]] 1 month subscription. $8.99
8/05/2010: Two PSN cards. $20.00
7/30/2010: A PSN card. $10.00
7/16/2010: [[Modnation Racers]] for PSP. (Don't you already have that for PS3? Why get the same game for two systems?) $19.99
7/02/2010: A game called "NDS Flaw" (what is that?), as well as a DSI zoom case.. $20.98

So that's a lot of purchases for the past couple of months, totalling to $138.93, and that's just a little bit of the list, I didn't go through the whole thing. And that's just at [[Best Buy]] - you've talked about spending quite a bit at [[Gamestop]] too, not just the $300 for the new PS3 (which brings the total to $438.93, not counting your other Gamestop purchases, which I don't have accurate figures for), but also on other things besides that. I just thought it would be helpful if I pointed these dollar amounts out plainly, because when you see them like this it becomes harder to fool yourself into thinking you've begun to work on your gaming addiction. I know it probably makes it all feel kind of silly when you look at the plain facts like this, but trust me, once you make the decision to kick the habit and actually try to get over your game addiction, this will all just seem so funny in hindsight. I know it's all at your own pace and that no one can make your life better but yourself, but I do really hope you consider turning yourself around and beginning to combat your game addiction. Just think what you could have done with that $450+ if you hadn't dropped it on games! But like I say, I have faith in your strength and will, Chris!!

Anyway, in other news... ugh, I got into contact with Lars. He's such an asshole. I am just so mad about it, I don't even feel like talking about him right now... ugh. Maybe we can talk about him in our next IM chat. Speaking of, will you be available tomorrow night at 9pm? We can talk then. I can vent to you about what Lars did to me, if you don't mind listening to my sad story... :( but I know you're such a good listener, and even better at cheering me up. ;) ;)

Well, let me know so that we can confirm that we are on for tomorrow night. Hope to talk to you then!!

XO XO XO XO XO XO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 23, 2010 - 7:56pm

I've mostly told [[Samantha]] the truth when we talked, but I did lie some, but I had my good reasons, between sparing her feelings, making the conversation less embarrassing for me, etc. Recently, she asked me to list some lies I've told her in the past, which I recollected and did inform her of. And in that same e-mail, I've told her about how she raises her voice to me when she doesn't have to. I listen to her and her sound advice; she thought I was blowing her off when she talked less aggressively in the past, when I did not; I hang and have hung onto every word she says to me. Every detail is saved in my memory and subconscious. Currently, it is NOT that I don't want to talk to her; I e-mail daily on the current events, but I felt with how she was feeling after my comment on the raised voice, we needed a bit of time apart. I will be back on the phone with her very soon after emotions have simmered down. It makes me feel sad that I've made her feel like this, but I was only doing what she asked me to do; tell the truth.

Damn those trolls; I'll have to change the password on my RewardZone account now. For your information... A) the recent 43.98 purchase was actually a spot of Wheeling and Dealing I did; I actually spent less to make a profit. [[Wikipedia:Toys "R" Us|Toys 'R' Us]] had [[Wikipedia:Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands]] for PS3 for a lower price than the current $39.99 price at Best Buy; I paid 20.98 for it at T.R.U. After that, I took the game to Best Buy, told them I received it as a gift and got the store credit of 41.??, THEN I got what I really wanted, [[Wikipedia:Resident Evil 5|Resident Evil 5]] G.E. and a 10 dollar PSN Card, but even the two items would still leave me with some credit, so I added [[Wikipedia:Silent Hill (film)|the Silent Hill movie]], and paid the 3 dollar difference in cash. R.E.5.G.E. was on sale for 10 less than normal this week for 29.99, it was now PSMove Compatible, I wanted a good shooter for the Move, and I had heard a LOT of good things about the game long before as well. I just wanted the PSP version of ModNation as well, after enjoying the PS3 version as well. The "NDS Flaw" item was a [[Nintendo DSi]] game titled "[[Wikipedia:System Flaw|System Flaw]]". I got it the same day I got the Zoom Case.

I agree with you on the addiction issue.

Yes, I will be free tomorrow night at 9:00; I'm looking forward just talking with you again, and I will be most happy to listen to your story and make you feel better. :)

New topics: my other thoughts for Troll Awareness and Cyber-Bully Self-Protection. You can quote me on the following paragraphs for the article.

There are people around the world who for their own individual reasons seek cruel laughs, fun or comfort in making fun at other people's expenses, all celebrities included. I, Christian Weston Chandler, of [[Ruckersville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America]], have fallen victim of these cads, these scoundrels, these scumbags of the earth's soil. I am original creator of the [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon|Electric-Hedgehog Pok'emon]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], as well as their hometown of [[Cwcville]], Virginia, United States of America. True, they were inspired by [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]], but they were still considerably original, even positively parodied. I had a self-hand-drawn comic book series of them, with myself as a self-proclaimed "Intrusive Director", similar to [[Wikipedia:Shinichi Watanabe|Shinichi Watanabe]] of the anime "[[Excel Saga]]". As the years passed in the story creation, I later discovered that I was being bad-mouthed behind my back in November of [[2007]]] by individuals who hide behind the "Mother's Skirt" of the Internet, who are referred to as Trolls, or Cyber-Bullies. Their groups and icons include that of "[[4-Chan]]", the "[[Pedofork|Pedobear]]", the "Epic Smile", "Chargin' Muh Lazur"; the list goes on. They all think they are of a high and mighty rank above EVERYBODY around the world, including and especially every individual who they make dark mockeries of. These Trolls not only put in their own twisted, evil thoughts on the innocent people they pick on, but from EVERYTHING the innocents put on the internet from Typed, Quoted Text; drawings and photographs, YouTube Videos, etc, etc, etc. And even worse, the Trolls DECEIVE and BLACKMAIL us innocents by establishing Online Relationships, making us open up emotionally to them to confide our private Truths, Photographs, Videos for Footage. They deceived [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|my "CWC On TV" DVD]] from me by pretending to be an old childhood girl friend of mine. And other times, they deceived and blackmailed me to give them naked photographs and videos I create of myself. And then they throw Horrendous Mislabels of HOMOSEXUALITY upon us by PHOTOSHOPPING the photographs and altering the videos. They Blackmailed me by hacking into my own personal Internet Accounts, such as [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]], but specifically my PlayStation Network Account. They also have gotten into my bank and credit card accounts. They can just as easily get into YOUR accounts of Monetary Value, INCLUDING your XBox Live Account, and Possibly Wii and DSi Ware too. Their hacking prowess is unknowingly powerful, depending on WHO is in their organization for their crass "LULZ," which I personally define as "[[Laughs Under Lucricities|Laughs Under Lucrativeness]]".

I tell every person who has been, as well as not yet but will be, Tormented and Found by a Troll/Cyber-Bully. YOU ALL can Protect Yourselves by simply Practicing the Safety Advice from me here, as well as other Cyber-Bully Prevention organizations found on the internet AND in real life; Google these places. Simply, though, you can Protect Yourselves by simply,
A) NEVER giving out your Personal, Private Information to Anyone or Anywhere suspicious. Especially those who would even be your "Friends" Online. If you can't and won't tell a Close Relative, like your Grandmother, DO NOT Tell ANYONE. This includes your PASSWORDS for EVERYTHING. And for ALL of you Gamers, your E-Mail Addresses you have Linked to your Console Accounts.
B) Have the Latest, Highly-Recommended and Fully Upgrade Anti-Virus/Anti-SpyWare Software installed on your Computers and Laptops. If your Wi-Fi and Ethernet Cables are at all linked to your PC, the Trolls can access EVERYTHING you have within Wi-Fi and Ethernet Distance, INCLUDING your gaming consoles and other devices. And when you're not using the Wi-Fi, unplug your Wireless Router, but NOT the Modem. If you unplug your Modem, you'll have troubles with Duplicate IP Addresses, and you'll need to restart your computer. Also, your consoles may have troubles getting online when you have Duplicate IP Addresses.
C) DO NOT put your Private Photos and Videos on the internet, this includes WITHOUT A DOUBT Naked Photographs and Videos of yourself and all those around you. And also do not put up anything else that will Incriminate you, your household, and everything else you care about.
D) Keep your Eyes Open even in REAL LIFE; the Trolls will follow you; take ANY Photographs and Videos of you and all around you without your Knowledge, Consent, Approval or Permission.
E) A Good Reputation is a Happy Reputation, so do what you can to make and keep a Good Reputation as an All-Around Good Person. Be Generous, Be Kind, Be Courteous, Be Caring and Understanding, Be a Positive Yourself.

And if you Suspect ANYONE around you who is likely to be a Troll or Cyber-Bully, Report them to the Police or High Authority, including your own and Their Family(ies). Be Cautious of the Signs.
-They have too many secrets, or at like they are hiding a lot of things.
-They constantly take photos and videos of ANY Person, even when that person is doing NOTHING at all.
-They are constantly on their Computers.
-Their Bookmarks and History include Trolling or Cyber-Bully Forums, Websites and whatnot.
-They have a HIGH Knowledge of Hacking into Computers and they use their Knowledge for Evil or Trolling Purposes.
-They have a number of Online Aliases.
-They talk a LOT of the Internet and speak ill of, or appear to be FAKING speaking nice of, Anyone.
-If you get any Hate Messages that make you feel irritated or angry, DO NOT RESPOND. Trolls also look for the thrill of Anger or Sadness from their victims.

I also put forward a truthful FlipNote from user, "8-BIT" ("DizzyDrill"),
http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016?in=user.
He has the right idea of what Trolls/Cyber-Bullies think in their desire to get a rise out of you. If you have a DSi, you can download this FlipNote for yourself through the FREE "FlipNote Studio" Program from the DSiWare Store.

If you are a Victim of Trolling/Cyber-Bullying, and you KNOW who the person is and where they are in Real Life, there is a good chance you'll be able to legally sue them. Talk to a legal attorney for more information and details on how.

And if you ARE a Troll or Cyber-Bully, and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, You'd be doing yourself a favor GIVING UP your ways, because YOU WILL BE FOUND AND PUNISHED.

Like the TrollBusters, Cal and Dee Dee, of Cwcville, VA who always catch the Troll in the Act, YOU can do your part in Stopping the Trolling and Cyber-Bullying.

How did you like that speech I've put together; I'd like your honest feedback?

With that, I'll wrap this up for now, and I will talk to you tomorrow night on the AIM at 9:00. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 14

2010-11-08T21:46:00Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 9-16 [[September 2010]].

{{EmailReply|September 9, 2010 - 6:08pm

I REALLY want to be with you, Jackie. So MUCH, that I would dedicated 3/4 of my next [[tugboat]] to you if I can't get the new $130 before then. And I REALLY would come all the way to [[Wikipedia:Mary Baldwin College|Mary Baldwin]] to meet/visit you Myself.

So far I was able to only get $19 from pawning off my Game Boy Color and 6 [[Pokémon|Pok'emon]] Game Boy Original/Color Games and selling my Game Boy Pocket for 5 to a new computer geek acquaintance of mine. The pawn shop would not accept my Saturn or Game Gear, because they were "Too Old." But after seeing a huge banner in front of a [[Wikipedia:7-Eleven|7-11]] of a PC Pro Computer store behind the 7-11, I went in and made a new acquaintance with a fellow Game Freak dude; he's going to help me by finding some people to buy the Genesis/32X/Sega CD, Saturn and Game Gear from me for my asking prices through his connections. He has his own page on [[Wikipedia:Facebook|FaceBook]]. This is good, because at this point, the [[Troll]]s won't know about this and pester me like they would have done. This information is Confidential.

About the [[XBox]] thing, I've realized after a revelation that I did not really hate the console originally. As a matter of fact, I've played a store demo kiosk of the 360 twice ever. I felt the anger against it originally, because of how much it cost way back when it was the Original XBox (before the 360), and that I could not afford either one. I felt more of jealousy of everyone else who was able to afford the High Prices of the consoles, and the XBox Live stuff as well. And throughout the time, after learning of the flaws it had, such as the "Red Ring of Death", being supportive of the lost format of HD-DVD (vs. Blu-Ray), and others, I used them as my excuses, which in arguments left me with no leg to stand on. So, I withdraw my past angst against the console. I'm still not going to buy one right away, though. I'll try it more, I mean, if I somehow got hold of a 360 inexpensively or free, or if I tried a Non-Demo console at someone else's place.

I am LESS addicted to my PS3, I assure you. And I will prove it by spending a lot less to none more on the Network in the future and now. And Spending more on You And Me in our Relationship. And you have to give me credit for unloading the Older Consoles and their games I've been hoarding for years for cash, including the current transactions I'm looking for with the remaining 3 Older Consoles.

And you are right on me having no right to complain of other video game addicts, but I said those things to prove a point that people like them (including myself), AND the Trolls can better themselves by socializing Off of the internet and going out more often. I have been going out more on the daily basis, at least during the afternoon hours on average leaving between 2 and 4 PM and an average of over 3 Hours per day. If I knew where to go, I would definitely go out at night and have more fun, but aside from the new [[Wal-Mart]] to walk for a while, I do not have knowledge of such locations or how to act within their likely dim-lit areas. And, yeah, I do not really expect people to "drop what they're doing and converse with me" when I am unable to do it as easily as they are able to, but it is nice to be acknowledged and NOT to feel Invisible In Public. Seriously, even when I'm Shouting (while Drunk or near sober), NOBODY gives me attention; I am ignored. And when I try to start something with a pleasant greeting, I am STILL IGNORED. And I am RIGHT HERE, PEOPLE; AREN'T I HANDSOME ENOUGH TO ATTRACT YOUR ATTENTION, LADIES? W.T.F. DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET EVEN A "HELLO" FROM ANYBODY THESE DAYS?!!!"

*sigh*

It makes me feel like a social outcast, and I do not want to be a social outcast.

Anyway, I am sorry for stopping communications with you for a short while; I needed some time for myself to collect my thoughts and come up with a reasonable solution to the disagreement. I felt like kicking myself over and over for saying the breaking up things I said in error. I did not mean it. And I am happy to still be talking to you, and I REALLY want to be with you. I am re-raising the money as quickly as possible. And if I can't come up with it by the end of the month, I will dedicate 3/4 of my remaining money from next month to US. :)

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe, Sweet and don't work yourself too hard in classes and
journalism.
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|1=September 9, 2010 - 7:46pm

Hey Chris.

Actually, since you brought up the prices of consoles, the original Xbox was $299 at launch, the same as the Playstation 2 at its launch. Didn't you have a PS2 anyway, though? More recently, the PS3 cost $499 for the 20gb model and $599 for the 60gb model at its launch - significantly more than the Xbox 360, which cost $299 for the basic model and $399 for the premium model when they were launched. You can read about it here: http://vgsales.wikia.com/wiki/Launch_price
Plus, Microsoft has LONG since fixed the red ring of death problem, and at the time that the 360 and the PS3 debuted, no one knew that blu rays would win the format war over hd-dvds. So it wasn't really fair to claim they "picked the lost format". I'm glad that you are beyond it though.

As for attracting attention, have you looked at the troll forum lately? I found this article here: http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=23
It doesn't say anything that you weren't aware of before, but it brings up a good point yet again: You have a terrible reputation because of your [[internet]] opposition. You know why people don't come up to you? Because most people who see you believe terrible things about you.

Anyway, here's what I want you to do to prove yourself to me: I want you to make a video. I want you to make a video professing your love to me. Give me the works, Chris. Proclaim your true feelings for me. Tell me exactly why you want me and want to be with me. I want you to sweep me off my feet with some romantic [[music]] in the background - play my favorite band for me. You know which one. ;) I know you know what I'm talking about. And make a few new drawings of us together and show them in the video. The theme of the video? Our first date. Tell me where we will go, what we will do. Only one catch - There's no limit on money. It's our fantasy date where we can spend as much as we want, how we want. Do it as you think it will look. Make it really special.

And I don't want this to be a private video, either. I want you to put this on your youtube so everyone can see. I don't care if trolls know my name or try to look me up now, so don't worry about that. You've been very good about keeping me hidden from them, but I don't care about that anymore. Let the trolls try to bug me. I want you to make this video public because it's time for you to proclaim your love for me to all. Everyone should know who the one woman in your life is. I want this video by 8:00pm on Monday, September 13th. I'm looking forward to seeing it, sweetie!!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 10, 2010 - 1:08pm

Yes, Sweetheart, I will draw some more of you and me together, and I will put together a video proclaiming my love for you and even a fantasy date. :)

*Heartthrobbings*

As for the other topics of your last e-mail, I was already aware of my online reputation haunting me in real life with the Rumors spread by the Trolls, so yeah. And I did not have my PS2 from Launch either; I did not even have a PSOne long until I found one at an older SPCA Rummage Sale for about 10 or 20, and it was at a time GameStop was still taking them in for Trade-Ins. I was going to trade it in for profit, but I decided to hold onto it and play it, and my earlier feelings towards [[Sony]] did a major 180 (YES, I was [[Nintendo]]/[[SEGA]] Exclusive and had hate for SONY equal to Microsoft on the Consoles). And later on, I got my PS2 for $20 from a Yard Sale; THEN I traded in my PSOne, and shortly after getting the PS2, I got [[Guitar Hero]] and started Rocking. And I did not get my PS3 at Launch; I got it MONTHS later on March 17, 2007, and I got the 60GB version for less than 599 at Wal-Mart (I think I got for 399; I'll have to look up the receipt).

But now, I have no anger against XBox, and the gay dudes. Samantha was very realistic in that discussion. She pointed out my quoting the Bible as an excuse was wrong, and between the hatings I've had, the quotes, and other details that escape at the moment, I realized I've been further shooting myself in the foot without knowing it. It made me feel really sad and I cried some. But I am changing that; I'm going to Stop hating and start being more brimming with a more positive energy. After all, the Bible is essentially a Guideline to life, and [[God]] wants all of us to live in peace and good nature, regardless of whatever we may do, and what we're all doing that is considered against the Bible anyway.

Anyway, I will do the drawings of us together, play the [[Wikipedia:Crash Test Dummies|Crash Test Dummies]] in the background, and make a video professing my love to you and letting it go public. I'm also planning on making a separate video for apologizing for my past hatred on the XBox, and apologizing to the gays as well. I will also remove ALL of the curses I had placed on people, including the Trolls.

We're moving forward together, Jacklyn. I Love You, Sweetheart.

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 10, 2010 - 3:56pm

Yay!! I can't wait to see the video! Oh, I have a few more things about what I want to see, so take some notes:

-I really want you to enjoy the Crash Test Dummies as much as I do. Revel in them like I do. You know what would be great? If you sang along to the song (My favorite song is "[[Wikipedia:Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm|Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm]]"), but feel free to take artistic liberties with the lyrics and make up your own to fit us better. I know your vast imagination can really make the song come to life.
-I want you to include the pictures of us together, new drawn pictures, on the date. Here's an idea for a plot: We start at starbucks, then go to see [[Wikipedia:Toy Story 3|''Toy Story 3'']] at the movie theater, maybe get a little frisky in the back row ;) Then, I want you to rescue me from something. Like, something bad happens, like a villain rips through the movie screen and attacks, and you save me from him.
-I want to see you dance in the video. The real you. Proclaim your love for me, enthusiastically. Get up and grove, jump, do a cartwheel. Do I make you jump? Do I make you twirl? Does my love make you scream? Yours does to me :) So return the favor. Let us be one.
-Take us to the edge and back. Show me the future, the distance. I want us to face the end of the world and still hold onto one another. Let's face it all together, the trolls, the world, the future, God.

I can't wait to see the video Chris!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 10, 2010 - 6:34pm

I like your plot idea. Although, if I may offer my input, I offered to take you to see "[[Wikipedia:Scott Pilgrim vs. the World|Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World]]", considering that movie is more romantic in its own way, may I portray us watching that instead of Toy Story?}}

{{Email|September 10, 2010 - 7:03pm

I'm glad you like my plot! Although I don't really care for that Scott Pilgrim movie, it's one of those movies where even though I haven't seen it, I know exactly what the plot is because I've heard WAY too much about it from every person I pass by, because they can't stop talking about the damn thing and I'm tired of it before I even look at it. It looks like token hipster bullshit to me.

Besides, I don't want to see someone else's romance story. I want to see YOUR love story. ;)

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 12, 2010 - 11:13am

Hey Chris, how are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a little while. You must be working hard on that video. Well, I just wanted to check in.

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 12, 2010 - 2:43pm

I am working hard on the drawings and display photos for the video to present while Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm is playing. Plus, do not guess, but I will have a pleasant surprise for you later tonight in another e-mail.

Also, it is cool; I'll just draw [[Wikipedia:Sheriff Woody|Woody]] and [[Wikipedia:Jessie (Toy Story)|Jessie]] making out or something for the movie screen. Perhaps after some time has passed, you and I can check out Scott Pilgrim at home together, and the current feelings will pass. I still have not seen it myself yet, but it is one I would at least rent the video for after it comes out. Speaking of movies, have you seen "[[Wikipedia:Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief|Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief]]?" It is a Great movie; I watched it with Heather in the theater before we broke up. If you haven't seen it, it is worth buying or renting.

Stay Safe and Sweet. I'll TTYL,
Christian.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
OXO
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<
3<3<3<3<3<3<3}}

{{EmailReply|September 13, 2010 - 6:04pm

You and I have just reached the climax in our own intercourse, while these three dudes were jerkin' and watchin'. And at climax, they came in to cum onto your breasts, and you wanted Me all over your face and in your mouth. Messy, little woman. ;)

I get off watching you enjoy yourself with my help, Jacklyn. I Love You.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 13, 2010 - 4:17pm

I'm uploading the video of my devotion for you right now. I feel I could have done better, but I was excited and elated for doing this for you. I've attached the 3 drawings I drew for you and the video for you.

I LOVE YOU, JACKLYN!!!!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

:)

Anyway, the video will be on my YT channel,
http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler?feature=mhum, shortly.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweetest, Lover. :-*
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|September 13, 2010 - 4:32pm

Let me give you the other photos featured in the video as well.}}

{{EmailReply|September 13, 2010 - 5:51pm

In the set of photos I sent you, I left in absent-mindedly the left-out Photo of how I would feel if you left me, which was set at the End of the slideshow. Please disregard that one photo.}}

{{Email|September 13, 2010 - 6:53pm

Hey Chris!

Thank you so much for making that video for me!! It was so sweet, I saw the bouncy energy you put into it. The way you just shouted at the top of your lungs your feelings for me, I can tell you weren't holding back. I look forward to actually getting to experience all these things for real on our first date.

But it wasn't all perfect. I'm kind of sad, Chris, because you missed some key parts here. I specifically asked you before not to use video games when trying to show your affections for me. Remember? I mean, I don't get why you couldn't show the whole date with drawings. That's why I gave you like four days to do it. And you didn't even take the time to make a new little big planet level just for me either, you just recycled one you already used for that other girl [[Kacey]]. Which even then you had taken from ANOTHER girl, Julie. I found it here: http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Rescuing_Kacey_From_Christian_W_Chandler

So, some good, some bad, but all in all I think I'd like you to redo the video for me. Actually, scratch that, you shouldn't redo this one. I think I have a better idea for something new I'd like to see. You know how Halloween is coming up? Well, it's still a few weeks away, but it's my absolute FAVORITE holiday of the year. So you know what I'd love to see? I want you to dress up as a character for me on camera, and then write some of your own lyrics to "Mmm mmm mmm mmm" and sing it for me. Do you know the anime [[Dragonball Z]]? I used to love that show when I was a little kid. I mean, I know it's like a boy's show, but whatever, I thought it was really cool. So you know what I would absolutely LOVE to see? I want to see [[Song for Jackie.MOV|you dressed as my favorite character, Mr. Popo]]!! He was always so cute and cuddly, you remind me so much of him! :) Do you know how to do facepainting? I found a tutorial website that can show you here: http://www.diylife.com/2008/04/02/how-to-face-paint/
Although it's not hard, you'd just be painting your face a single color, no weird designs or anything. Do you have facepainting supplies? I think they sell them at any art store.

So basically, the costume would be a black face with red lips, and a sleeveless vest, and a turban on your head (you could wrap a towel around your head for that). I attached a picture of him, his look is pretty simple. And then you could sing me your song. Ooh, ooh, and then after that, there's one more little song I'd love for you to sing for me, too, it's from my favorite Dragonball movie where Mr. Popo says it. It goes like this:

You ain't seen no Saiyans on the fiddle,
No Saiyans on the fiddle like this.
You ain't seen no Saiyans on the fiddle
No Saiyans on the fiddle like this.

It's short, just sing that to a happy tune. Ooh, I'm so excited Chris!! If you're Mr. Popo, maybe I can go as Bulma when Halloween really comes. ;) ;) Anyway, I'd love to see this by Thursday at 9:00pm, okay?

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 14, 2010 - 1:42pm

I am happy to hear that you get my feelings for you, and that you liked the video, all things considered. And I understand your concerns of the LBP Level recycle; it was and still is my idea of a fun date; I am open for ideas on a better fantasy date, and with those details, I would be most happy to put a new level of it together just for you, and draw more drawings to go with it. With the limited ideas of mine for a fantasy date, I felt lack of drawing inspiration, because they were just too simple and trite to me. Plus I did get the inspiration to draw the best circle jerkin' drawing I was able to picture in my head for you. With that, I do apologize for the short number of drawings in the video.

As for Mr. Popo, consider that done. :D Speaking of face painting, while restoring the photos I had originally on my PS3 from my backup cards, I found the photo of myself with the face paint I did for [[Wikipedia:JuggaloShoutOut|the Juggalo video]]; it is attached. I used paint from my collection of acrylic paints for the job. I'll wear a black t-shirt under my vest, and I do have a clean white towel here. I'll get the lyrics for Mmm X4 from a search, and perhaps I can put Popo's song within the lyric rewrite, right after the Mmms.

The Halloween together sounds great. :D Do you have information on a party event we would go to? You would be able to pull off Bulma great. I am going to do Popo for you now, but when Halloween comes, I would feel better dressing up as [[Wikipedia:Vegeta|Vegeta]] to better match your costume. After all, I have watched the series too, and Vegeta and [[Wikipedia:Bulma|Bulma]] were a couple, got married and gave birth to [[Wikipedia:Trunks (Dragon Ball)|Trunks]] (and a daughter as well, but her name escapes me at the moment).

On another note, the console selling is going slow at the moment; my new acquaintance is not getting replies to the post he put up from any interested people. He will call me when he does; he has my number. But I am going to go ahead and put my [[Sega]] consoles onto [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], complete with photographs. And if I don't sell them before [[October 2010|October]] comes around, I will still dedicate $150 of the [[tugboat]] for our dates, me coming to meet you, etc. I'll let you know the final details later, and you and I will put together a meet date.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Sweet and Safe, Sweetest Love.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 14, 2010 - 4:45pm

Hey Chris!

Don't have much time to talk now, but I just want to say I'm really excited to see the Mr. Popo video! Actually, I'd love to see the Mr. Popo lyrics separately from the CTD song, just because Mmm x4 has kind of a slower, somber tone and I don't know if the Mr. Popo song could really work into it; it needs a peppier, fast cheery tune.

And I saw your craigslist ads for your old consoles too, I hope those sell quickly. I'm sure there are collectors out there or something who will be interested. Well, anyway, can't wait to see the video. I'll write more later!!

<3<3<3<3<3

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 16, 2010 - 2:53pm

I was successful in rewriting the song to match our relationship well. No rhymes; it's freeverse. I typed in the lyrics at the bottom of this e-mail. I attached the photo of my face looking like Mr. Popo, and I will start upload of the video shortly after I finish this message.

I've put Popo's bit at the end during the "Ahhhhhs". I've also added another fun item I think you'll enjoy. Reference [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_X_episodes#Season_1:_2003-2004|Episode 8]] of "[[Sonic X]]", Original Japanese Dialogue, this purple, furry dude was entertaining [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_video_game_characters#Cream the rabbit|Cream]] and [[Wikipedia:List_of_Sonic_the_Hedgehog_video_game_characters#Cheese the Chao|Cheese]] with a "Good Morning" song. Look up his song and dance on [[YouTube]].
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYskMdSiFn4&feature=related

Also, another topic of interest that has just come up among the fresh e-mail batch. Do you know a [[Wikipedia:Fight Club|Robert Paulson]] <billman198@googlemail.com>? He has surprised me with some trash talk of he being your boyfriend and some shit-talk aimed at me. And he attached a possibly photoshopped photograph of you to the e-mail. I want you to know that I am only surprised, and I am not believing what he is saying. I only ask for your honest feedback to verify this individual. I'm keeping a cool head.

And, on the Good News, I may have a customer who will buy ALL of the [[Sega]] Consoles from me; he called me from his 434 Cell Phone (he lives in the 504 area code). Currently, he plans on stopping by my house to purchase tomorrow afternoon, but I will wait until I have the money in my hands before I start making mutual plans with you to meet you and all the good stuff. I cut him a deal for buying all of the stuff at once; $120. With the $14 I made the other day from my [[Nintendo|Game Boy Color]], I feel this will make things equal; making the equal amount of money as before. I may get another offer for the whole bunch, but if I do before this dude comes along, I'll insist on full price or higher offer, and I'll let the first dude know about that as well. He's getting the consoles for his children.

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian

Song for you - "Heavenly Matched Love"

Once there was this boy who
Was born with some [[autism]] and yet made [[gal-pals|a few friends]]
But after his [[High School]] years
He lost his friends and was [[troll]]-tortured
By bullies who were jealous
of his [[Money|material things]]

Mmms

Once there was [[Jackie|this girl]] who
Continued to have friends long after her High School
She could have had her pick of men
Then she found the wayward, lost boy
They matched up very well
Heavenly Matched Love

Mmms

And both girl and boy were glad
'Cause they both saw each others eyes

They both thought of each other
They had enjoyed each others company sweetly
Roller coaster ecstacy
In fantasy their dates were simple
They look to be married and
Have their own boy and girl

Mmms

"Ain't no Saiyans on a fiddle, No Saiyans on a fiddle like this." X2
"Asande hahe swa, wowo-haya-hoo!" X2}}

{{EmailReply|1=September 16, 2010 - 3:10

I've just took a look on the Troll Forum for a possible link to this Robert; their last post on there was made yesterday on one page. It seemed to be only talk of raping you, and one of getting [[Greene County]] to ban you from entering county lines (yeah right, like they are going to ban someone they don't know without a good reason or evidence).
http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=103

I just wanted to warn you, so you can be careful to try to avoid these people in real life. I have faith and trust in you being true to me and keeping our relationship strong. I will not stand down in our relationship either.

I Love You, Jacklyn.

Christian.}}

{{Email|September 16, 2010 - 4:38pm

Hey Chris!

So, I guess we have a few thing to talk about here.

First of all, that video wasn't good. In fact... It was AMAZING!!!!! I can't believe you made that so well!!! I was soo happy to see my favorite Mr. Popo, you brought me back to my childhood. Thank you so much sweetie!

Secondly, as far as the trolls go, I'm not terribly worried. I can take care of myself. I'll just keep an eye over my shoulder from now on. But really, I doubt they're going to do anything.

Thirdly, I don't know who that Robert Paulson is. He isn't my ex-boyfriend. I think you should ignore him and not listen to his bullshit. But that picture is me... well, I'm kind of ashamed to admit it... but I did have an ex-boyfriend, [[Lars]], to whom I once sent some nude pictures of myself, that's where that picture this guy sent you came from. But even though we had a really bad breakup and this was years ago, he promised me he would delete all his pictures of me. But obviously he lied. There's no other way those pictures of me could have gotten onto the [[internet]]. That bastard... To be honest, this worries me a lot more than some trolls threatening to [[rape]] me. I feel so betrayed. We broke up because we weren't right for each other, but I had no idea he could sink this low. Now I have to worry about him. I don't know what I can do about Lars... He was my first love. I thought I would never love anyone again when I was with him, and after he broke my heart I thought I would never love anyone again. It took me a long time to build myself back up and become able to feel agian after that.

Lars you bastard, wherever you are, you won't get away with this... I don't know how, but I'll find a way to make him suffer for this...

*[[sigh]]*

Well anyway, let me get to something more positive. Since school is ramping up and I won't have any time to come visit for a few weeks. But I've been having a lot of fun with seeing what you can do lately, and I have some good news: I managed to arrange an extended break from school starting on November 1st (the [[Wikipedia:Day of the Dead|Dia de los Muertos]]). Although I'd love to see you so badly right this minute, it's just not not doable right away. So until then, Christian, I present to you....

Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest! :D

Starting October 1st I want you to count down the days with me until we meet by posting a new video of you on youtube everyday. But, it doesn't have to be anything really big. Just a 30 second blurb is perfection as it gives me a chance to see you, fresh faced, every day! I want to be with you so badly Christian and this will be like practice for me. Seeing you, every day, doing fun things! 1 video a day, for a total of 31 days, the last video being on the 31st of October, Halloween. For each video I want you do something different. I want you dress up as a different cute character! Get it? Halloween every day!! Yay!!! Any character you want to be - one of your sonichu characters maybe, or an anime or movie character, and make the costume however you like - who you choose to be and what you do for it will teach me more about you and what you like.

And during each video I want you to share a different piece of information about you with me. But, I want this information to be secrets or details you've never shared with anyone else. It doesn't have to be anything that big or unique, it can just be something little about your life. I want us to have no secrets between us sweetest! And this will be us being open, honest and having fun!!! Don't hide anything Chris, you should be proud of who you are - be true and honest!! In return, when we meet on November 1st… I will give myself to you. I don't wait any more, Chris. I want to give my being AND my body all to you! My Dad will pay for my hotel so we can go there and get dirty between the sheets together! Can you imagine?? How cool is that!!

However, you must must must do a video a day. If you miss a day or skip, the contest ends and you loose :( And then we have to wait to have sexy time because I'll need to think harder about things… but I don't want to think! Thinking is hard! The only hard thing I want in my life is YOU my darling Cripple doo!

Soooo, ready to play??? I know I am! xoxo

Jackie

P.S. Hey, since the contest won't start for about two weeks, in the meantime, how are your other drawings going? Have you picked [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] back up, or are you working on any other comic ideas? Ooh, could you make a little video for me? Make a video of yourself giving a little tour of your bedroom? I know about what one side of your room looks like from your recent videos, but I'd love to see like a 360 tour of your [[room]], all the stuff in it, your closet, your wardrobe, and so forth. Show me the significant things in your room and give me little backstories about where you got them and such. I really want to feel like I'm one with you, Chris. So when I first set foot into your room I'll feel like I've been there forever. :D If you have anything naaaaughty to share with me… then would be the time, too! Tell me about how we'll snuggle up in your bed and cuddle and wiiiiggle. heeheee! xox}}
{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 13

2010-11-08T21:00:29Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: red links must DIE.

This page covers emails exchanged by Chris and [[Jackie]] from 2-8 [[September 2010]].

{{EmailReply|September 2, 2010 - 11:28pm

Jackie, I care about you a Lot, I really do. I do not ignore you, and your e-mails are Not difficult to me, although this one was stressful to me. The damn games are NOT the shine of my day; You Are the Shine of my Days. My words are not empty; I mean what I tell you. I feel upset too.

I have read the whole message. Firstly, I will admit I was in error; there were Three Males in that drawing, I mistook the math of equal males versus females. I feel uncomfortable with drawing naked dudes, especially the [[Pickles|Penises]]. I don't understand all of the whys, but my [[Homos|homophobia]] is one of the reasons. Although, even with that, I feel little excuses on the issue. I do like to draw, it's that between the badmouthing of everyone on the [[internet]] on my drawing style, not being recognized in [[High School]] for that part of me, and my pursuit of happiness in life with a woman to be my [[sweetheart]], I feel like my ability to draw is bad and less important than the important things in life, like finding true love and compassion. So I feel like my art style is a lost cause, and it makes me feel sad, like an under-appreciated artist.

I did not mean to lie to you; I am unable to foresee every final aspect of the future. I also have a mental block that does not allow me to see or understand any perceived harm in what I may say or do, like I really did not know [[Sonichu (comic)|my comic pages]] were going to be misinterpreted by the sickos as gay, and learning that later made me feel really pissed off. And I was not really expecting any specific reaction from my recent actions.

Also, [[Bob|my father]] has shown no respect from me of destroying my own thing regardless of rather or not it was dead already or not. He's actually more pissed off at me for putting up any new video on the internet, period. This comes from past videos I had uploaded that put my family and the [[house]] we live in into question and having the [[Jerkops|police]] come round to bother us, and the trolls and other people we don't know calling to bother us as well.

I Really can go for Months Without video games, and I am going to prove it to you by devoting my money and my time to you. Granted I have missed the opportunity to start on that with the recent replacement, but it was funded by Store Credit at the Game Store, and my parents Loaned me the remaining half to make the replacement. I will be paying my mom and dad back in the next two months for that.

And on my past trip to Cleveland, Ohio, my mom and dad Called the Police On Me, and even metaphorically put a Bounty on my head. And more recently on the trip to Otakon, they both did not want me to go at all, and they threatened calling the police on me again if I went and sending me to Jail. And they threatened changing the locks to the house and not allowing me back in, leaving me with NO home and necessities. I Really would have put together the funds to even hop a Bus to Tennessee to see you if I could, but I Fear my mother and father sending me to Jail if I even dared venture Outside of State, even IF I had told them about the trip and seeing you. I feel bound and chained by my mom and dad; they both, especially my father, act like wardens who have little trust on me. Financial Situations are not really the restriction that prevents me from traveling, it's like if I travel at all, since the trip to Cleveland, I would not be allowed back into my own home and left homeless and even worse. And with that, that is why my relationships HAVE to be Local, although I would still be able and most willing to go to your place in Virginia to meet you and such.

I apologize for proposing the bet; although I would truly have gone through with it, it was wrong of me to even think of bringing it up at all.

Although a List of the comments and questions is more direct for me to understand, I still am capable of addressing them from within the paragraphs, as I have done so the past paragraphs. And to address the topics listed,

1. I will tell my mother and father that the [[PS3]] was Not Dead at the time of its destruction.
2. I did not Promise to go without the PS3 for months, I stated that I could go for Months without it if I Had To, because I did state that I was going to Replace it anyway when I said that. My statement may have been misinterpreted as a promise.
3. I don't know for sure how God feels about me lying to my parents to protect their feelings. But for lying to you, I know he is angry with me.
4. I think he feels sad about my addiction problem. But I Was and Still Am willing to treat it. I feel I can not do it alone; I need someone like you Close to me and In Person, because indirectly over the phone or over the internet is close, but not close enough.
5. I WAS willing to come to you, but as I have explained in the earlier paragraph, My Family would have me in Jail and/or Lock me Out of my House leaving me Homeless if I traveled outside of state.
6. I am very willing to go until the first day of 2011 without video games, but I have to make positive that there is place for me outside of my Home before I make the commitment.

I do care about you, Jackie, and I really want to see you and be with you. But even though I can raise the money quickly to Travel, I can not afford to lose my Home in the process.

If you did not have your own place outside of your parents' house, and they threatened to lock you out and leave you homeless, and you did not have a good record, probably the worst record, and you could not get even a Low-Paying Job Anywhere, would you really risk it all for someone you have met over the internet first, known for months, but have never met in person, with the risk of Point "B" not being there, because that's what happened to me with "Julie" in Cleveland? Would you NOT be cautious too and make positive for yourself that Point "B", and the person you having been talking to was there as well, or make it a Point to meet in the middle Locally and see the Person, followed by their Home, being their "Point A" and your "Point B"?

It is a LOT to deal with.

I wait for your response. I'll TTYL.

Stay Safe and Sweet,
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 3, 2010 - 12:31am

Hey Chris.

The reason I say your words are empty is because your actions contradict them. That's what I mean. There is a big difference between what you say and what you do. Talking is cheap, it's easy for you. Talking requires no effort. It costs no effort for you to say that you're giving up video games, and you know it makes me happy to see it, so that's why you said it. You say you care about me because it costs nothing to say. But actually doing it, doing things to show me you care, is what takes effort, and that's where you get stuck.

Being able to foresee aspects of the future is irrelevant, because it's your choice. You have the choice to play video games or not. If a tornado destroys your house, that's something you can't foresee. If a carjacker steals your car, that is something you can't foresee. But you stated you would not play video games for months. That is all on you. There's no outside element that can force you to play video games. The two things are not the same. I think the only thing you didn't bother to consider was that it might be just a little difficult to adjust to new behavior.

Chris, I took what you said as a promise, and you should have known that. If you can take the final slide of your prom's slideshow as a promise that a reunion was owed to you, then I can take your word that you can "go for months" without your PS3 as a promise. Fair is fair. And even if that weren't true, you would have no reason to say it unless you meant it as a promise. You promised me, and then you broke your promise. And why do you tell me how that it was funded by gamestop credit and your parents? I already told you how I feel about you tricking your parents out of their money. The point isn't how you paid for it, the point is that you just couldn't be strong enough to do anything until you got your PS3 back.

I look forward to hearing what your parents think about your coming clean. I don't think they will be very happy to hear that you lied about what you did just to get their money. But here's what I want you to do, something that will not only make them happy, but make me happy:

I want you to take your new PS3 back to Gamestop and return it. You have 7 days to make a return there, so you are definitely within the timeframe to return it. Go return the PS3 and get your money back, and then give all that money to your parents, since you owe it to them anyway. If Gamestop absolutely won't give you cash but instead only gives you store credit, then take the gift card and sell it for cash. I'm sure someone will give you money for it. Or you know what? You could sell it on ebay. That might actually make you more money. Then you can still give the cash to your parents. And then I want you to scan the receipt you get for returning it and show it to me. This is for the best, Chris. Your parents will be incredibly impressed with your decision to give up your addiction, as well as the sense of responsibility you show by giving them the money you owe them.

We've been over the idea of you taking a trip. You could take a greyhound bus instead of your parents' car. There is no way for them to put you in jail because you wouldn't be committing an actual crime. Either you're an adult or you aren't. And you could get a decent job if you actually tried. How many jobs have you actually applied to in the last week? The last month? The last year? [[Wal-Mart]] is one. Have you even tried any others? And from what you've told me about how forgiving your parents are, how willing they are to absorb your debts and cover you when you can't take responsibility for your own actions, I seriously doubt they would kick you out just because you wanted to go visit someone, especially if you manned up and told them beforehand. You are just repeating the same protests you did before without addressing how I responded to them. But for the moment, taking a trip is a dead issue anyway.

Chris, I haven't been able to be there all summer, but that's not an excuse for not attempting to treat your own addiction. Whether I'm there or not doesn't matter. The problem is all with you. Ultimately fixing your problems is up to YOU. I mean, like I said, I can't be there constantly. I can't hold your hand every hour or every day. Do you intend to just sit in your room, wallowing in your own filth until I waltz through the door and wisk you away from all your problems with a magical wave of my hand? That's not how this works, Chris. Guys who show no intent to help themselves and expect a girl to fix everything for them are not attractive. The same is true when it is a girl who doesn't try to help herself and wants a guy to fix all her problems for her. All I ever asked was for you to put down the video games. It is a perfectly reasonable request, but while you told me you could do it over and over, you never showed any willingness to stick to it. When I couldn't be there, you could have gone to your parents to lean on. Get them to support you. Ask them to help you seek treatment, go to addiction counseling. But you still never did.

Well, I want this to work, Chris. So for now I think we should just take it slowly. Right now, my top concern is that you go to Gamestop and return the PS3. I bet your financial situation will improve pretty quickly in the next couple months once you aren't dropping money left and right on [[PSN]] downloads. I look forward to seeing the receipt of your return. Or if you decide to sell it on [[ebay]] instead, I want you to send me the link to your ebay account and the transaction so I can keep an eye on it and see when it sells.

XOXO

Jackie

P.S. You're actually violating [[Chris and religion|two Commandments]] by [[lies|lying]] to your parents - you are Bearing False Witness by lying, and you are failing to Honor your Mother and Father. I'm pretty sure God is even madder about you lying to them than he would be about lying to me.}}

{{EmailReply|September 3, 2010 - 1:11pm

Firstly, I am sorry, but I am not going to return the PS3. However, I am going to Not spend money on the PSN Frivolously, so my finances will be getting better. I currently have about $100 in the bank after paying my family for this month. It will stay well above 3/4 of that by the day you and I meet, so I can and will be able to show you a good time.

Please believe me when I tell you that you are more important to me than video games, and I will prove that by setting my money towards you and our future. I really want our relationship to work too.

So, you're back in town now. How about we make our date for tomorrow the 4th, meet at the previously discussed Starbucks at 1:00 PM, and we will share a good day together.

Let me prove myself to you, [[Sweetheart]].

I'll TTYL.
Stay Safe and Sweet.
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 3, 2010 - 3:21pm

Would you please explain to me how I am more important than your video games when replacing your precious PS3 is all you could think about? Also, please explain why being without a PS3 is so completely non-negotiable to you?

I'm sorry you seem to feel this way, Chris. But until you get rid of that thing, I have no reason to believe you'll even try to cut down on video games. And until you get rid of that thing, I don't think I'll be meeting you for a date. I am the only person who has given this relationship any kind of effort while all you do is sit there and wait for me to come to you. I'm going back to school this week anyway; at least school is what it says and doesn't back out on its word, so I think I'll spend my time there.

If you would like to see me, you will reconsider getting rid of it, or showing me some kind of sign that your word is worth something. That means more than words. Otherwise, my belief that your video games matter more than me or any girl will be proven correct.

But don't take this the wrong way, I still want to keep talking with you. Are you still working on that shadow-interview video? Let me know how that turns out.

Talk to you soon,

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 4, 2010 - 12:42am

Listen, Jacklyn, People are MORE Important to me than Video Games, regardless of me having the consoles in my possession or not.

To answer your big question, I need the PS3, because A) Blu-Ray Player, and it upgrades DVDs to High-Definition view for HD-TVs. B) Music Player; it plays CDs AND MP3s for background music, like a mini-stereo system. C) Photos; it stores my Digital Photographs, my Comic Pages and more images for display in Slideshow or individual views. D) Internet; it Browses the Internet Wirelessly, it even can play videos from most websites including YouTube, so I don't have to leave my room to surf the web. E) It helps a College's Research; together with this state college (its name escapes me), it uses its [[Wikipedia:Folding@home|Folding @ Home]] Program to help the College(s) in their Protein Folding Research and Development; Look it up, Folding at Home. F) Social Output, between Playstation Home And Video-Chats, it's like going into a text-only chat room, but you actually Walk Up to people's Avatars and Converse with text, spoken words and hand gestures. Playstation 3 does a LOT more than just Games.

But aside from all of that, it is Real Life that is more important to me than ANY Video Game, Period. And Having a Girlfriend is THAT Important to me as well.

But from what I read from your last e-mail, I see what you're saying to me is "Chris, you are NOT Boyfriend Material; I am NOT going to Date you, and I would never go out with you; I'm not going to give you a chance to Prove Yourself to me In Person, because you'd likely mess up and prove me right; I'm putting you in the [[Friend Zone]], NEVER to let you be my ANYTHING Ever Again." And all that makes me feel really sad; I have been hurting a lot, and being put into the "Friend Zone" is like "Game Over" to me.

I'm hurting deep.

Stay Safe,
Christian.}}

{{Email|September 4, 2010 - 3:04pm

Chris...

First of all, I am NOT putting you in any "friend zone". If anything, you have kind of friend-zoned me by saying you won't take a chance on not having a PS3 for a while. As for not giving you a chance in person, well, the fact is, I'm kind of afraid of putting myself out there like that, considering your track record of going back on your word. I wanted you to get rid of the new PS3 because I wanted you to show me some sign that I don't have to be afraid, that I can actually trust you. You talk about being me putting you in the friend zone, but the honest truth is that you have resisted every chance I have given you to impress me. If the friend zone existed, then I'm the one in it, not you.

Every reason you list for why you "need" a PS3 is something you could easily use a computer for - actually, more easily, in a lot of cases. I looked up that Folding @ Home thing, it's a project being run out of [[Wikipedia:Stanford University|Stanford University]]. For one thing, it doesn't require the Playstation 3 to participate; it was originally designed for computers. And two, if you actually really cared about the medical research that it's designed for, I would think you could remember the name of the school, or take 5 seconds to look it up like I did. I have friends who have PS3's, I've seen the web browser the thing uses, and honestly it sucks ass. It's a token, a novelty. You should have just gotten a cheap laptop or something for surfing the internet.

Remember when I started trying to get you to sell your video games so you could have more money, pay off your debts, and so forth? You dragged your feet and were unwilling to do it until I asked you many, many times. But when the PS3 needed you to do it, you dropped everything and rushed to the task. So of the two girls in your life - me and your PS3 - one girl can't seem to get a straight answer from you half the time and gets empty promises the other half, while the other girl gets your undivided attention as soon as she needs you.

To counter your reasons for "needing" a PS3, here are some reasons for why it would be good to get rid of it:

A) If I get rid of the PS3, Jackie will see that I can actually keep the promises I make her, and will be willing to go on a date with me.
B) If I don't have a PS3, I'll be forced to go outside and talk to people in order to keep myself occupied, instead of sitting indoors playing all day. That means I'll make more friends and have a stable social life.
C) Without a PS3, I won't be tempted to waste all my money on the PSN, considering that I have failed to stop myself from dropping all my money there numerous times in the past. That means I'll have more money.
D) If I keep the PS3, knowing full well that Jackie refuses to go out with me until I get rid of it, I am admitting that I want the PS3 more than I want to be with a girl.

So to sum it up Chris, I feel like I am the one being friend-zoned. And if that really is how you want our relationship to be, then I wish you would just admit it. Because it seems kind of cowardly to blame ME for being the one doing the friend-zoning when you are just saying "sorry Jackie, but the PS3 is my number one girl, not you".

I await your reply.

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 4, 2010 - 4:41pm

You know Chris, I just wanted to reiterate, don't assume that I've friend-zoned you. One really annoying tendency you have is that you just keep assuming things. You repeatedly assumed I'll meet you at a certain place and time without asking, and now you're just assuming that I'm friend-zoning you when you are the one doing it to me. I have a feeling you're just doing this because you want to make me look like the bad guy and not have to do any work at the same time.

Prove me wrong, Chris. Otherwise I'LL be hurting deeply. If you don't care about me, then the least you can do is not use twisted truths and phrases to vilify me.

:(

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 5, 2010 - 5:36pm

Don't mislabel my console as a Human Being Equivalent, when it is clearly NOT Human at all. And I do not have Anything like what you're describing with it all. Real People are More important to me than any machine or video game. I feel like it is obvious that you are misunderstanding me. I thought you were cool with me and my Video Game Hobby when you said EXACTLY THAT. But I guess I was wrong.

You think I spend all day playing video games? I do not; I actually go OUT and walk about and enjoy the sunshine and life. The only reason it is hard for me to socialize is because of my Social Anxiety that is my Fucking [[Autism]]. I can Socialize when I set my mind to it and I have People Helping Me Socialize, Including people who are Caring and Kind enough to Approach Me First and Greet Me.

They say "More Good Relationships Start from meeting over the [[Internet]]"; that ONLY works when the Couple ACTUALLY MEET EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE PERSON. Otherwise, I totally disagree with that notion 100%. Both people are GLUED in front of their Computers, [[HEXBoxes]], etc talking to these people they have NOT MET in Person At All. Including ALL of the Trolls that have been pestering me including [[Clyde]] and [[Tito]]. So I'm not alone when it comes to being in front of a Digital Monitor for an extended period of time, but at least I can talk to people when I do so. AND I get out every day for sunshine, exercise, and HOPEFULLY meet new people by Their Greeting. Sadly THAT notion is nearly extinct, because everyone is glued to their own self-absorbed, or otherwise, chores, duties, etc. soo much that they don't even give any person outside of themselves a passing glance or whatever.

I feel there is too much tension and distrust between you and me. As much as I want to believe there is something between us to make this relationship work, I have to look at the details realistically.

And to borrow the phrase and turn it appropriately, Maybe we should deglue ourselves from our Video Gaming Internet and Meet/Date other people In Person.

Until when we talk again or meet. Stay Safe, Jacklyn.

Christian.}}

{{Email|September 5, 2010 - 6:13pm

Okay, first of all, let me preface my email by saying that I don't want to sound angry, or try to pick an argument. Because some of my words might look a little stinging, but I want you to understand that I'm just trying to have a rational, mature discussion. I feel it's important to say that because you sound like you are getting exasperated and I don't want that.

Now, I said that you treat it like one because when you have a chance between seeing me and replacing your PS3, the PS3 is what you drop everything to go for. And as I said, I thought you were cool with going without video games for months when YOU said EXACTLY THAT. But I guess you lied. Sure, I called it a girl as a metaphor, but YOU'RE the one who [[Chris humps his PS3|HUMPED it in a video]] just to protect your online account. I've seen those videos, remember? The one where [[BlueSpike|that 13-year-old]] got you to do that? How is it NOT a like a girl when you're willing to FUCK it?

Tell me where and when you go out. When do you "set your mind" to meeting people? You say you can do it, but when do you do it? Give me times and dates of the last several times you've done so. I have social anxiety too, you know. I have shyness problems with people. Did you ever consider that? Or do you think your autism means you are the only person in the world who has difficulty talking to new people? I hate to break it to you bluntly, but your shyness is not at all special or rare. A LOT of people are shy around others they don't know. I really don't get why

And what do you mean you hope to meet other people by "THEIR" greeting? You talk about other peoples' lives and commitments like they are trivial compared to you, that if you walk by a person they should drop what they're doing and come up to YOU. When have YOU gone up to THEM and tried to start a conversation? Why does everyone have to go out of their way to do everything for you? You want people to take charge of the conversation with you. You wanted me to do all the work on that troll forum for you. You want me to go out of my way to come see you even though I'm a lot busier than you, but you won't consider coming to see me. Again Chris, do you think you are the only person in the world who is shy?? What if other people see you walking by and think to themselves, "hey, that rude guy is ignoring me and focusing on himself and his own self-absorbed duties and chores". Tell me why it always has to be someone else that does the work for you. Why can't you stop thinking about YOUR self-absorption (like using your autism as an excuse) and just take charge yourself?

And you say people are "glued in front of their computers, hexboxes, etc." Why didn't you include Playstation 3 in that list, hmm? Do you think all Xbox players are obsessed losers but all PS3 players are perfectly fine? What is this ridiculous loyalty you have to a fucking corporation? You complain about how the Xbox has a monthly payment and you have to pay extra to play DVDs, but how many thousands of dollars have you dumped into the PS3? Money is obviously not an object for you when the PS3 is involved. God, I just don't get this irrational hatred you have of Microsoft! It's a fucking computer toy! And for that matter, how are YOU not "GLUED" to your precious PS3?? You were going through withdrawals when you destroyed the first one and dropped everything else in your life just to replace it!! You have no right to complain about other people being addicted to the internet or computers or whatever.

*sigh*

Well, now that I've gotten that off my chest... so what now, are you just going to stop talking to me? Is that what you are going to do, just pick up and run away when there's a disagreement? You say we should go our separate ways and meet people in real life, but you just wrote a whole email about how you think it's the job of other people to go out of their way and do all the effort to make YOU feel okay. And how well has that approach worked for you, Chris? How many new people have you formed relationships with in the past year? How many people do you talk to besides me?

You know what, Chris, so what if we have to cool the romance for a little while? Maybe that's a good idea, but why can't you keep TALKING to me? Why do you have to just up and ditch this relationship because it gets a little difficult to manage? I've told you time and again that EVERY relationship has difficult times. I'm trying to help you not be so APATHETIC toward having relationships with people. Or are you saying I am really worth nothing to you now?

Just keep writing me Chris. I think it would be really good for you if you would just keep talking to me. Because retreating from talking to people isn't going to be good for you.

<3

Jackie}}

{{Email|September 7, 2010 - 3:48pm

So, what, you've just decided to never speak to me again? Wow, I guess your PS3 really is more important than talking to a real woman? Or is it just because I basically told you I won't be fucking you any time soon, therefore I'm worthless now?

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|September 7, 2010 - 10:14pm

Firstly, running away from a disagreement is not the answer, and I did not really mean it when I said that we should see other people. I've been hurting as well the past few days since I last e-mailed you. BTW, I noticed you e-mailed earlier today, but an error came up on my end, and it was deleted, so I was unable to read it.

But I needed to space myself to think about the details for myself and come up with a reasonable solution to the disagreements and such. I felt I was unable to resolve the disagreement quickly enough, and then I felt confused, leading me to say what I said in error.

Jacklyn Romy, there is No One Else, and realistically there will never be anyone else who is as pretty as you who has the patience of a saint, who is willing to put up with most of my personal quirks, impulses and whatnot. And there are things I feel I am unable to immediately change.

My mind goes blank at certain times, of which I am uncertain when, but I am certain it is when A) I am listening to other people converse with each other in front of me. B) When people raise their voices loudly to me (or to someone else and I happen to be there during the event). To put this another way, my mind gets as blank and confused as the dude [[Wikipedia:Steve Carell|Steve Carrel]] played in "[[Wikipedia:The 40-Year-Old Virgin|The 40 Year Old Virgin]]". I feel my lack of self-confidence in real-life situations is a contribution to that mental blankness.

Anyway, as for the recent disagreement, I would like to offer a compromise. Without the loan, I made $130 in a few days. I am willing to make the $130 again, in Cash, and come to see you at my own expense. This way, I feel I can earn a bit of self-respect for making money for my Sweetheart over material replacements. And I understand your feelings of the material replacement... I'm catching myself right here, with a potential self-set-up towards more trouble, so I'm stopping myself there.

I Love and Care about you more than anything, because you are the best woman who has come into my life, and I do not want to ever lose you over a petty disagreement other couples can have as well.

Please let me redeem myself for you, Jackie.

XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Christian.

P.S.

This does not mean the selling of my PS3; I felt I should inform you of that, but I have other reasonable ways to get the $130 as quickly.}}

{{Email|September 8, 2010 - 4:19pm

Hi Chris.

I was worried that you weren't going to write me again, it seemed like you were just kind of losing interest. I'm glad you wrote me back, though. That email I sent you was just a check-in to see if you were still checking your email.

It's good that you were able to raise that $130, but I'm just curious why you couldn't wait to get your new PS3 a few more days if you were able to raise it this quickly. You still got your parents to loan you the money even though you already owe them so much, and even though you didn't need it.

And yes, you know how I feel about the PS3, and that isn't going to change. I think you are addicted to that thing, and I think you need to bring yourself to get rid of it if you are going to move forward in life. I know it's difficult to make changes, but I don't get why you are so unwilling to even consider making this change to your life. And like I said, I get that you're shy, a lot of people are. But you stated that you expect people to drop what they're doing and come up to you to start conversations, but you aren't willing to try doing so yourself. You claim that other people are too obsessed, "glued" as you say, to their computers and "hexboxes" (again, I don't get what reason you think you have to hate the Xbox, it's just another console the same as your PS3). But you conveniently left PS3s out of that list, as if no one could ever spend too much time on a PS3.

Why do you think it's possible to be addicted to an Xbox, but not a PS3? How can you complain about other people being too addicted to their video games? I mean, you destroyed your PS3, but then you dropped everything else just so you could replace it, so you could get your fix. When you complained about people being too obsessed with technology, you were describing yourself.

Hmm... Well, anyway, it might be nice to see you. But are you really sure you want to? You seemed less than enthused about the idea of meeting me in your last email. I'm not so sure I'm convinced. How much do you want to be with me, Chris? How much do you really want to be with me?

Jackie}}

{{E-mails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Jackie E-mails 5

2010-11-08T16:21:49Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

{{EmailReply|July 24, 2010 - 8:56pm

You are soo right, and I thank you too for understanding. :) I will create a video and upload it onto a [[YouTube]] account of "J.J."'s name within the next few days to get my foot in the door. I have total access to the e-mail account I used to create J.J.'s [[Cwcki]] account; I haven't figured which one it was yet; I have quite a few. Fortunately, I have them hand-written down, including passwords, on paper in my folder. I promise you, Jacklyn, that I will get within their inner circle.

But of course, we can find a number of other things to talk about. Like tell me about your trip so far; the places you been and seen within each state and whatnot.

**Confidentially** I've had my DSi linked with a new [[FlipNote Hatena]] account for a while; I was only banned from posting on my original account for a week (it was not permanent). I've just unlinked it from the new and went back to the old, erased all the original still-on/removed FlipNotes, and reuploaded the proper Original FlipNotes. I've left off the personal ones, such as the shout-outs, and the "Edit Me" one. The swimmers are clothed.

Another thought, you said you thought the way I danced that past Friday was cute. :) I was a bit [[Alcohol|drunk]] from a Bud, and the music was that good that day. Even sober, I can still dance as good. I'd like to dance with you eventually (and slowly). ;)

I gtg, but I want to hear about your trip in your reply.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 24, 2010 - 10:04pm

Yay! I'm soo happy! Get in good with them, get niiice and comfortable, make them lower their guard. Then we'll figure out our next step! I'm so excited! :D :D :D
But I don't think a youtube will be a good idea, I'm sure your disguise will be good but you should take precautions anyway and not let it be publicly viewed. But did you see the message canine left on your jenkinsjinkies talk page? He said that you should put the video on mediafire or megaupload or whatever and send the link to his email, it's <>. (I'd like to see it too, though :)

But you're right, I've been on a trip all this time and we've barely been talking about it! I actually just got into upstate New York early this morning, I'm visiting my friend Heidi, I'm soo tired here. Heidi was my friend in grade school but went to a different high school and we lost touch, but then last year we discovered we had a class together! We've become so close since then, if I ever get married she's going to be my maid of honor. We spent most of today just lounging around talking because I'm so tired from driving, but tomorrow we're going around town and out to dinner and stuff. Toronto was fun but went by too fast. I'm spending the next few days here in New York, then we're going to visit another friend in Rhode Island, then coming back and heading down through Connecticut to visit ANOTHER friend. Long road trip... but rewarding.

Heidi has a DSi, she doesn't use flipnote but maybe I'll try it out while I'm with her. What's your new flipnote ID? I'd like to see your stuff. And you were tipsy during that dance? Aww, you're an adorable drunk, then :) I can't wait to see your moves sober, though, too.

Well, me and Heidi are going to go to bed, I'm exhausted. Talk to you tomorrow!

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 25, 2010 - 11:00am

I have a small plan in my head on the [[troll]] issue for right now, but we'll wait and see how it fans out before going according fully to it.

That is very cool of you to find an old school friend. I've been waiting Ten Years, expectantly since my Senior Prom, for my [[High School]]'s Class of [[2000]] Reunion. Yet here it is, Mid-[[2010]], and I HEAR NOTHING of the Reunion. It makes me sad, because I haven't seen my gal friends since graduation, all the waiting and expecting for nothing, and worse off, I won't be able to return the favor of offering a dance to [[Tiffany Gowen]]. She Asked ME to dance with her at the Senior Prom; it was awesome of her to do that for me.

Anyway. The FlipNote Hatena ID is still "[[Sonichu]]", but the DSi Profile name DISPLAYED name is now "ChristianC". Same as before, more or less.

I'm feeling a bit sleepy at the moment. I'm gonna take a nap. Tell me more of your fun stories, please. :)

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 25, 2010 - 12:50pm

Hey Chris. What's your plan? You've got me really curious about it. Tell me all about it! And do you have a disguise for the video yet? Maybe you could wear like a white sheet on your head like a ghost or something, simple but effective. Just one idea, I'm sure you have some too. And make sure to disguise your voice, just make it a low grumble, that'll do. Those trolls are stupid, they'll never catch on. After all, they were stupid enough to talk about their plans with me in that chatroom when they hadn't even confirmed who I am.

But nevertheless, I'm still a little worried, and I'll feel better once you've gotten in with them. If you get the evidence on them, you can get them sent to jail for this credit fraud stuff... but you have to act quick, because even though it's illegal, if they go forth with it the damage will be done and your [[Playstation 3]] will be gone. Even when thieves and con-artists are caught, there's always a very low chance of the [[police]] finding the stuff they stole. Prevention is a lot better than cure here, Chris.

I don't think my school has 5-year reunions so I'll have to wait a while for my 10-year reunion. You should call up this Tiffany, sounds like she was a good friend in high school, she probably knows something about the reunion. Or maybe go to the high school itself, they can surely tell you something.

I'll write a little more later today. Let me know what's up when you wake up!

XOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 26, 2010 - 7:55pm

Well, the plan is simple really. Firstly, I've already informed my [[church]]'s Reverand, Elizabeth and [[Rocky]] of the incriminating information on the JenkinsJinkies Talk page of the plot for Credit Fraud. They will be informing our local detective at the P.D. shortly by forwarding him that information.

I have recorded the video earlier today, using a dark shirt covering my whole head (no [[glasses]]). I've performed my own voice-check with my DSi's Voice-Recording Program; I've found the best method to completely change my voice is to go deep, and also pucker my lips while I spoke. It really worked.

Shortly, I will be creating a new e-mail address, followed by a Mega Upload account, for J.J., then I will inform the dude of the Cwcki of the video from J.J.'s e-mail address. Then it's pray time for getting IN from there. I shot in a different location, a decorated restroom at my local Goodwill.

Also, I don't have Tiffany's phone number, and I have searched online and could not find much current info on her (aside from what the Trolls are saying against her on the Cwcki).

What else has been good for you all in New York, New York?

"It's a wonderful town; the bronx is up and the battery's down; the people ride in a hole in the ground. New York, New York." That was a fun song from "On the Town" starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

I'll check in again later.

Stay Safe and Sweet. 
XOXOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|1=July 26, 2010 - 8:10pm

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UM0F9TJQ}}

{{Email|July 26, 2010 - 8:42pm

Ooh, I like the video! Simple but effective. Good job getting that done today. But remember Chris, the purpose of getting in with the troll circle is to actually FIND evidence. You don't have evidence yet - the police won't be able to do anything with what's on the JenkinsJinkies talk page because no one has admitted to any wrongdoing there. In fact, nothing illegal is even at all suggested there, all the trolls say is that they "could go to jail" if they're found out, but that alone doesn't actually MEAN anything. So the cops will just turn that away. If you want to have something the cops can use, you need to get in and FIND something.

This is why I've been pushing you to do this Chris, because as things are now the cops won't have anything to go on. The cops aren't magic, they can't just arrest anyone simply because the person says something that sounds bad if it's not actually incriminating, which nothing you have so far is. So get in there and start schmoozing Chris, find out more of their information.

As for other stuff, you should try researching the class reunion itself maybe, Tiffany might not know anything either for all you know. And I'm not actually going into New York City, just staying upstate, close to Utica, actually.

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:04pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Mon, July 26, 2010 9:47:51 PM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, thank you for your application. We get a lot of applications every day but Clyde says that yours is important so it's probably going first to the committee.

So you should hear our final decision tomorrow or so, before 10 AM EST or so. 
LULZ, 
Melinda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:05pm

----- Forwarded Message ---- 
From: Amanda Hugnkiss 
To: <> 
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 9:44:59 AM 
Subject: Re: Megaupload file delivery: JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV (20.25 MB)

Ok, well, the application committee has decided to tentatively approve you. They still have some questions but they say they can permit you into our forums.

http://trollingtrain.10.forumer.com

Your username is jenkinsjinkies and your password is <>

Feel free to change these.

Go and post and get involved in the community. You have to cozy up to these people and let them know who you are. If you piss them off they might get the committee to reject you. Introduce yourself, you know. Clyde wants you to do well.

Anyway, I'm about to crash into slumber from drinking all night, you know how it is. 
[[lulz|LULZ]], 
Miranda}}

{{EmailReply|July 27, 2010 - 8:20pm

I understand what you're saying. I will get into the groove beforehand, so I can do good; a whole self-mindtweaking if you will. Giddy-up! I'm in. I've just forwarded you the two response e-mails from J.J.'s Yahoo account, so they ARE from me. I'll log in tomorrow to get started, after I've gotten into the groove.

You know Jackie, but on the way to film the video, I thought of more to J.J.'s background. Such as his "Real Name" being Junior Jenkins. And that he had a [[gay]] experience at summer camp at 7; he was not thrilled with it afterwards. Years later, he has two dude friends who are gay, but he keeps them at bay with his straightness. Although, curious at 14, he asks one of them to do him one night, so that happened. And at the end, he was Terribly NOT Thrilled at all; to go into extensive details, he Came and Threw Up Simultaneously. Definitely Straight. I even felt like I was going to throw up myself from imagining the whole thing. I also came up with his birthday being on July 16, as well as a few other stories from when he hitch-hiked from Boston to [[Ruckersville]], VA. I have him crashin' at a house across from mine, where he has relatives who are the "Black Sheep" of the family.

To change the subject a bit, and to throw good news that I feel good about, I've alerted everyone on [[GameFAQs]].com of my Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] Merchandise in [[ModNation Racers]], but I've also Contributed Uploaded In-Game Photos of my good stuff; they are ALL there in their own Category. I invite you to check them out and download at your leisure.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/960619-modnation-racers/images

I'll check in with you later, Jackie.

Y'all Stay Safe and Sweet. 
Christian.}}

{{Email|July 27, 2010 - 8:43pm

Hey Chris! I got your messages from your yahoo account. I can't wait to see what you post on there! It seems like those trolls are pretty excited to get "Jinkies" onto their forum so you shouldn't have trouble introducing yourself. Keep me informed of what they say and we can talk about what direction to go.

That's a pretty detailed story that you came up with. It's funny you say Junior's [[birthday]] is July 16, that's my dad's birthday! Where did you get the inspiration for that whole story? Do you know someone that something like that happened to?

Hey, since we're on the subject of [[sex]]... I'm kind of curious, but do you have any sexual fantasies? Like, specific fantasies? I know we should take things slow, but I think a person's sexual fantasies are an intimate way of getting to know who a person really is.

Like, my fantasy is this... I'm very curious about anal sex. I've never done it but I wonder a lot what it would be like. I've only told a few of my close girlfriends about that, Do you have anything like that? :)

Anyway, I took a look at your modnation racer stuff, I can't download because I don't have the game but I like the stuff you made. Your Sonichu [[car]] is very cute :)

Write more later,

XOXOXO

Jackie}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:49am

I've just finished watching "Pink Flamingos" twice (with Director, John Waters', Commentary during second watch). All things considered, it is a comical flick, and I was able to enjoy it (even though I averted my gaze in the [[dick]] shots and that part with the dude at Babs' party while they played "Surfing Bird" in the background. Obviously John is gay, but I did not hold it against him in listening to his opinions. I felt sorry for the chicken that was killed, but then I learned it was a chicken that was going to be killed anyway. I also saw something else in that movie, the heavy topic of being Trolled like Babs was, yet justice WAS done to the Trolls (The Marbles) in the end.

I'll log in later to talk with the trolls. We'll see what info I can dig up. You have the password info as well, so you're welcome to pretend too, just keep it between 7 PM and 6 AM, please.

Mostly, I made up the stories behind Junior, including this one. Although I did get the ray of inspiration from remembering Peter's Parrot in that one episode of "[[Family Guy]]" that repeats "I had a gay experience at camp".

I've had the question of sexual fantasies posed to me before, and there are a few. One is having sex in a swimming pool (to emulate a [[dream]] I had of being lost in a water-filled labyrinth where I was intercepted by a woman and we made out and had sex). I am game for anal sex, as long as you're my partner, and you wore [[sex toys|a strap-on or used a butt-plug]] in me (as long as it is not [[penis]]-shaped). I also would like oral sex, swing set, pole dancing (me, you or both at once), three-way (with two women), role-play, and others I can't remember right now. Feel free to suggest other sex-play topics, and I'll let you know if it's cool with me or not.

It's no problem; we're not having sex yet, so we can talk about it freely; you and I are close (metaphorically until we meet in person when we'll be a LOT closer). ;) You turn me on with your kindness and understanding, and your pretty self adds well to it. I want to kiss you, Jackie.

For now, it's a compliment, but don't hold back when after we hang out for a while and you want to kiss me too.

I'll TTYL. 
Stay Sweet and Safe, 
Christian.}}

{{EmailReply|July 28, 2010 - 3:55am

I forgot something

XOXOXOXO <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

:)}}
{{emails}}

[[Category:E-mails]]

Talk:Mumble 7

2010-11-05T21:12:51Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* This section is to sign up for time slots and nothing else, no discussion in here (add a strikethrough when complete) */

I'll begin work on this tomorrow. Sit tight. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 02:36, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
:I did start a bit a while back but I didn't finish it. I'll just put what I have, might be some errors. --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 04:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
::Ok, it's up to 6:21. Have fun with the rest --[[User:Digital|Digital]] 04:24, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
:::Thanks a ''lot''. I also appreciate you clearing up 'lust is a sin'. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 12:16, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

Transcribe les putanes, and leave the summarizing to me :) --[[User:YawningSquirtleRedux|YawningSquirtleRedux]] 12:25, 27 March 2010 (UTC)

...Whoops, just committed a noob's mistake. I ''did not know'' just how hard it is to transcribe Chris - damn bastard keeps stuttering. Course, all transcriptions have to fit the voices ''exactly'', right? --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 17:08, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
:Would like to add to this tragic situation, I'm English born-and-bred and I can't make out semi-important parts. Last time I checked, my ears are working perfectly; somebody with a better grasp of the language should fill in the blanks. --[[User:Blunderscore|Blunderscore]] 18:04, 27 March 2010 (UTC)
==Let's finish this TEN MINUTES AT A TIME?==
Transcribed 5.45 - 15.45. I am trying to start a community project based around the Mumbles. For more info, check my userpage. The next person can do 15.45-25.45 or whatever... Or I will probably end up doing that too. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 21:31, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

:I can do 15.45-25.45, if you haven't already started. [[User:Cows|Cows]] 02:09, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
::<s>DOWNLOADING DIS BITCH. And then I guess I'll transcribe some. Is what's up right now really up to the 15:45 point? Fuck it, I'll start from 25:00 and work forward from there. I must stress, I'm bad when it comes to differentiating between voices, so corrections might be needed.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:38, 21 July 2010 (UTC)</s>
:::These people talk over eachother so much.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:48, 21 July 2010 (UTC)

::::Guys I fucked up my hands somehow. I'm typing this with two fingers, and I'm not going to be transcribing much of anything for awhile. Sorry :( --[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:33, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

:I did like a minute during the part about Shotacon just to try it out before I saw the above (so I fully expect it to get deleted). However, I also put in headings to sort of divide it up by subject, so that it's not just one massive wall of text. Hopefully that helps/is continued. [[User:Theonlysaneone|Theonlysaneone]] 06:51, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON 25.00 TO 35.00 SINCE THE EARLIER PARTS SEEM COVERED BY OTHER PEOPLE. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 14:47, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
::OKAY COOL--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:50, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:FINISHED UNTIL 35.13. PLEASE GET THOSE EARLIER PARTS UP. I AM NOW WORKING ON 35.00 TILL 45.00. COME ON GUYS, DON'T LEAVE ME HAINGING!!! --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:19, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::My part is about half done. Have had IRL stuff to do, but it should be done by tonight. [[User:Cows|Cows]] 18:39, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

If you guys have already finished parts, can you go ahead and post them so we aren't working on the same things? Everything up to 15:00 is transcribed, posted and formatted. Even if it's not formatted that's easy to do, just get it up there. [[User:Theonlysaneone|Theonlysaneone]] 02:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
:As long as people have indicated what they are working on, it should all match up in the end. But yeah, formatting is a secondary concern to getting the words that come out of their mouths.--[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:19, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

HEY GUYS I DID 35.00 TO 45.00 AND NOW I GUESS I WILL DO 45.00 TO 55.00. WOW I SEE THE CWCKI COMMUNITY HAS REALLY COME OUT IN FORCE TO WORK ON THIS LOL. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 23:05, 27 July 2010 (UTC)

*I guess offer to help out but I'm not sure since it would be my first time doing this and I hardly ever listen to these so I might not know who is talking (expect for Chris or maybe bluespike) I'll try if you want but I'm worried I won't do it right. but first what I need a program to listen to the audio if I where to do this? because when I download the file It doesn't do anything.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 17:33, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
** Download VLC, it'll play .ogg. To figure out who's talking, just match what's already been transcribed to the voices. Just get used to it before you try, that's what I'm doing. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 20:41, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*** OK I'll start on 45.30 to 55.00 unless someones already doing it right now. damn it to hell, of all the times for mediaflare to start time out my connection on me it just had to start now.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 20:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

OK I got 45.30 to 50.9 also its a little sloppy so I'll post it on my talk page so you can copy past it or what ever though it will need to corrected and add what ever i may have missed I was in a hurry because I have things to do. Again I'm very sorry if its a mess.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 22:42, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
:Learn to read, I specifically said 10 lines up that I was doing 45-55. Nevermind, we will put your transcription up and make a much clearer sign up list below. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 16:15, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
:I uploaded your section. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 16:47, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
I'd help you guys out, really I would, but I'm not going to download 30 MB of nothing but audio. Again sorry, and I hope something else pops up that I can help with. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 04:01, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

==Discussion above is getting cluttered - streamlining it here==
So, some notes:
#There is a sign up section beneath this one. Use it to show what you are doing, con't put any discussion in it.
#PROTIPS: If Chris stutters, put a dash - For things like pauses or unintelligible stuff, write it in brackets like (unintelligible) or (yelling) or (pause).
#This can be cleaned up, but try to cover as much as possible. Make sure to add questions marks, periods, commas and all that shit. Any editors revising will be thankful.
#If you have really bad spelling or grammar... reconsider this project.
#After each line of dialogue, put a break tag.

Otherwise, I have uploaded the section by [[User:Kota88|Kota88]]. Please guys, I appreciate all the help I can get here, but don't half ass it too much. Take your time. No one is going to judge you if you take longer to put up your 10 minutes than someone else. Just get as much as possible down and post it to the actual article. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 16:46, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

==Help is en-route==

The principality of Ronichu pledges six hours of transcription work given in chunks between today (Thursday) and Sunday. Let me know what you need done (from what time index onwards) and it will be DONE. I will reenter the Dark Place that is these got dang Mumble Chats. I swear on my Fictional Autism.

Ps if you don't know what timestamp to go from I'll just do whatever. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 04:35, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Shit, I am more addicted to Starcraft II than I thought. I swear I had another day here somewhere. Anyway, I'M WORKING ON IT. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 07:45, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

==This section is to sign up for time slots and nothing else, no discussion in here (add a strikethrough when complete)==
*<del>I am doing 50 to 60 currently. Sign up for a time slot other than this.</del> --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 16:15, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
*Now I will work on 1h 00m until 1h 10m. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 20:56, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
*Been reading the CWCki for a few months, just joined and would like to volunteer for 1h 10m to 1h 20m, I'll wait for 1h-1h 10 min to be completed before adding. Side note, I've done my best to finish color coding the current transcriptions. --[[User:Pinefresh|Pinefresh]] 01:10 4 August 2010 (UTC)
*I can help with DIS BITCH after Pinefresh is done with his timeslot. 1h20m to 1h30m should do it. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 10:19, 7 October 2010 (PDT)
* Considering Pinefresh hasn't contributed since Aug 30, I'll do it. I'M WORKIN' ON IT! [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 14:12, 5 November 2010 (PDT)

Mumble 7

2010-11-05T20:44:52Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* 28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters */ - small stuff.

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13 [[February 2009]].

Appears to be the genesis for the "Power" videos in which Chris attempts and fails to prove his [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as [[fail|most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored]].
* Insists that [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:AngelicainGod%27sEyes.JPG the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog.
* The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the [[Audiobooks]] made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind fan-fics that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]].
* Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' it is so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she called me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' So, uh- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, lives with us, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, and he didn't s...see any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's gal-pals? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to.. like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' I don't understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I guess he is a homo. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write t- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really religous and stuff - she said that uh, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, you know, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] didn't have that open minded that time. So, give her time to recover, she'll uh, she might, she might open up. 
'''Fan:'''Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, why did you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, uh, do you have Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Chris:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor-, too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' That's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect you, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey guys, do you have a question? If he's done? Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' [line breaks temporarily] -You should not have to reassure us, though. You should just be knowing it, and nothing that anybody says, you get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that I can, uh, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh, -[gets cut off by Chris in the background]- ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't--I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw--interrupted by mumbling--I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay-- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES--RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or-- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to--I would--I would--I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I--[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically-- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are--those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you--just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause--[Chris mumbling is heard]--they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers-- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can--you can scan your drawings and then color--color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I--I mean--I mean I've tried--I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um-- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just--you're just parroting--you're just plagiarizing-- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he--he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check--[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it-- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit--[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the--the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit-- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no-- 
'''Fan:''' We decided-- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he--yeah, but he's saying, he said--he--on his front page he says, all Sonichu material-- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X-- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me standing up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, doin' a few kicks for the camera or something-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you should throw some punches, show him what you're made of, you know? 
'''Fan:''' Kick, punch, it's all in the mind ''etc..'' 
'''Chris:''' I basically... I pretty much did that when I... 
'''Guy:''' Let him talk, c'mon! 
'''Chris:''' I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... ''dildo'' in half. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Foreign-Sounding Guy:''' Most dildos come apart for cleaning. 
'''Guy:''' C'mon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but that thing was screwed together at the seam. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Guy:''' Ok listen to me... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris... 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' Eh Chris! 
'''Julie:''' ...could you do a like further test of your strength for me? 
'''Chris:''' ''stress sigh'' Yeah... 
'''Julie:''' I wanna see how strong you are please. 
'''Chris:''' ...That's fine, I can do that. 
'''Other Fan:''' I mean that's ok, you showed your strength, but you should show her your moves. Like show her, like, what kind of moves you can do. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, let me tell you a story about how this'll work, ok. 
'''Fan:''' See, my, uh, one of my cousins, uh, this guy at school, kept, y'know, picking on him, calling him gay and stuff, and trying to fight with him, and my cousin told him to sss- y'know, one day, the guy said "Hey man, I'm gonna beat you up" and my cousin said "Look, if I show you some of my moves, I'll prove to you I can kick your ass in a fight" and so my cousin, y'know, he stepped back and, he took, uh, he took Tae Kwon Do, and he did a couple moves, y'know? He just stood there for like five minutes just doing his moves, and, y'know, some punches and kicks and... The guy just backed right off; he didn't even want to talk to him any more. So I think that should work. 
'''Chris:''' All right, well I'll try that. I'll try that. 
'''Guy:''' All right. Sounds good. 
'''Fan:''' Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah.<br?>
'''Fan:''' You try - you always mention about how you're straight but yet in your video about you crushing a dildo, uh, doesn't that kinda like, y'know, not help your cause? 
'''Chris:''' No, it proves I'm straight because... 
'''Fan:''' But you have a dildo. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' I got it free with an order on adameve.com 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' But you ''kept'' it and shit. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' What I don't... Why were there batteries in...? 
'''Julie:''' Oh yeah Chris, why ''were'' there batteries in it? Why did you keep it? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' I mean it wasn't an easy thing for me to sell, right off the bat, or even to make a profit, so... 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' In fact in a way it's a good thing I kept it, cause it allowed me to be able to break it, like I did. 
'''Julie:''' Yes but why would you keep it? 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Julie:''' Why would you keep it? 
'''Chris:''' I woulda saved it for my sweetheart, if she'd wanted it. To use it. 
'''Fan:''' Aaaahhh. 
'''Julie:''' But if I were there wouldn't you prefer the real deal? 
'''Fan:''' Some things that metal just can't replace. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' I heard that. 
'''Fan:''' You didn't use it did you? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not. 
'''Fan:''' Did you just throw all the ones you had away? 
'''Chris:''' I only had that one. And there you go, I ri - there you go, I broke it apart. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you just, like, ''take'' it apart, I mean, it did... 
'''Chris:''' No... 
'''Fan:''' ...seem to come apart, like, screwed on... 
'''Chris:''' No, no I did not take it apart, that thing was glued at the seam. I had to put a lot of strength into breaking it at the middle there. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, but I think, um, showing your moves would be better. 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Clyde would mess with you if you show him you can kick his ass. 
'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris's a muthafuckin' ''gangsta''! 
'''Fan:''' Blap blap. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, Chris will fuck Clyde's shit up. 
(awkward pause) 
'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris, didn't you say you used a - didn't you say you used scissors to break the dildo? 
'''Chris:''' Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I pretty much did have to so I could break that ''glued seam''. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I thought you broke it with your hands. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well I - yeah well I would have but it was dang glued at the seam, so I clipped straight in with the scissors I had. 
'''Chris:''' It's a pair of Super Shears from [[Cutco]]. 
'''Fan:''' ''(feigning interest)'' Huh. 

===19:50 Chris defends his Rule 34===

'''Fan:''' Yeah, let's talk about something else. Uh, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Whenever the announcement of the adult Sonichu page, when I looked at your gallery, very nice stuff, you know, I see a picture of what looks like you with a Sonichu, uh, medallion. Like, and, who's that one girl, exactly? 
'''Fan:''' Who, [[Megan]]? 
'''Julie:''' I thought it was, like, [[Crystal]], cause of the hair? 
'''Chris:''' No, no, it was - it was originally drawn to be Megan but I censored her eyes to, uh, port - to protect her identity. 
'''Fan:''' Mmmmmm. 
'''Julie:''' ''(laughing)'' That's stupid! (?) That's so silly. 
'''Chris:''' I drew that after I found the ED page in November. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you say that? 
'''Chris:''' In protest against it. 
'''Fan:''' I thought you were going to get rid of it anyway. 
'''Chris:''' I tore up the original drawing, I, in - into squares, and I put in in an envelope. 
'''Fan:''' Why did you upload it? 
'''Fan:''' Why did you do that shit? Like, and... 
'''Fan:''' I understand Rosechu, but, like y'know, why, like, something that's from real life. That's the problem (?) 
'''Chris:''' It's not necessarily from real life, it depends on you inter - it depends on your interpretation, I mean it's hardly - I mean, '''most women have long brown hair, and the eyes are censored''', so... 
(laughter) 
'''Fan:''' ''Most'' women?!? 
'''Fan:''' I remember in that one video you were saying it was Megan. 
'''Chris:''' Because it broke, because it end up, because it the end it broke up my friend - broke up my friendship eve, my uh, friendship with Megan. 
'''Julie:''' Um, can I ask you a question? In the third picture, with [[Angelica Rosechu]], what is... what's happening, is... God... doing...? 
'''Chris:''' Nope. She's masturbating. And she's enjoying it. 
'''Julie:''' But she has no hands there. How's she doing it? 
'''Fan:''' She's ''enjoying'' it. 
'''Chris:''' But she does... She does... 
'''Julie:''' Yeah but how's she doing it? She doesn't have her hands there. 
'''Chris:''' She does have her hands, she's... ''(stress sigh)'' She's... like most women would be able to do the same thing. 
'''Fan:''' I thing it's the angle, Julie. I think it's the angle you were looking at it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah plus uh, the picture wasn't, uh, very - wasn't as clear as, like, you know, I would have liked to have had it, uh, I mean, I had that file for a while, and it... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah some of those are kinda blurry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, some deg - some degraded. 
'''Julie:''' ? a good question, have you drawn anything... of... have you drawn anything like that with me? Cause I would actually like to see, if you did. If so, could you, and let me see? I, uh, sorry, that's very rude to ask. 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm sorry, let me answer this guy. Yeah, well, I made a retraction video later saying that I - I disowned that address. 
'''Fan:''' Ah, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Just after that guy hacked into it and changed to it to suck. And as such. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm gonna take a look at that... My Youtube... 
'''Fan:''' I like this song. 
'''Chris:''' What song? 
'''Fan:''' The song that's playing in the background of, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what do you think of, uh, what do you think of that guy who advertises products, Billy Mays? What do you think of him? 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... Billy... Oh! Yeah he's an ok guy, I watched him on Home Improvement. 
'''Fan:''' Billy Mays? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... 
'''Fan:''' No, that was another guy on Home Improvement, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' No that was the same guy. That was the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Really?!? Let's look up. IMDB, go. ''(sound of typing)'' 
'''Chris:''' Believe me, it's the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, I really enjoyed your, um, adult, uh, section of the site. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... okey dokey, very good. Aaahh, trying to figure out how to update the link on this thing here. Oh, maybe under here. Oh there it is, thank God (?), update right now. 
'''Fan:''' ''(singing)'' You spin me right round baby, right round... 
'''Other fan:''' (joining in) Like a record baby, right round round round 
'''Fan:''' It's a classic, I can't help in man. 
'''Chris:''' There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
'''Guy:''' Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
'''Guy:''' Oh yeah I can understand. 
'''Chris:''' And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. They sound the same. 
'''Guy:''' I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible babble or singing) 
'''Fan:''' Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' -got in the snail mail today. 
'''Guy:''' -Sunday. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hmmmm... 
'''Guy:''' What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
'''Guy:''' What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
'''Chris:''' Hm depends... 
'''Guy:''' Ahhh, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Guy:''' Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
'''Other guy:''' Vocabulary talent. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
'''Chris:''' If she was here... 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) -play games. 
'''Chris:''' Or we could just uh... talk. 
'''Woman:''' Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
'''Other Woman:''' Yeah? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
'''Chris:''' It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmmmmm... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
'''Woman:''' I see... 
'''Fan:''' Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
'''Man:''' Gotta have the women. (?) 
'''Guy''': What about piercings or tattoo? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
'''Chris:''' Ehhhh- 
'''Guy:''' Hey (unintelligible) 
'''Julie:'''Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
'''Julie:''' Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
'''Chris:''' Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
'''British??? guy:''' That is true, she does have blue hair. 
'''Guy:''' She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
'''Black guy:''' Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! 

===28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters===

'''British??? guy:''' Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
'''Chris:''' (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
'''Julie:''' Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Oh we'd love to hear that! 
'''Chris:''' I just did Marge Simpson. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah you're really talented. 
'''British??? Guy:''' Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once) 
'''Julie:''' -they're really good. 
'''Guy:''' Do another SimpsonsChris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Mmmmhmmm... 
'''Chris:''' Oh I'm very indeed. Oh aren't we all promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Julie:''' Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
'''Chris:''' Everybody have fun (incoherent and scary quacking) 
'''Several:''' (laughter) 
'''Guy:''' Chris you should work for Disney. 
'''Fan:''' That's good Chris. 
'''Guy:''' Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
'''Chris:''' Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
'''Fan:''' (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Guy:''' I was just wondering- 
'''Chris:''' Ahm actu- 
'''Guy:''' -do you just- 
'''Chris:''' I'm actually a Methodist church. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
'''Chris:''' The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
'''Other guy:''' can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
'''Guy:''' Hold- the question... 
'''Fan:''' Let Chris answer the question. 
'''Chris:''' The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mmhhh... 
'''Julie:''' I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
'''Julie:''' Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, hmmm... 
'''Guy:''' Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
'''Fan:''' Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
'''Guy:''' So your church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
'''Guy:''' Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
'''Chris:''' -ah basically. 
'''Guy:''' But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris- 
'''Other guy:''' (interrupts) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
'''Guy:''' That's all ??? 
'''Chris:''' That's all's considered education for yourself. 
'''Guy:''' How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
'''Chris:''' It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
'''Fan:''' But not in Christianity. 
'''Guy:''' But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
'''Julie:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' (incoherent) porn. 
'''Guy:''' When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
'''Accented woman:''' You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
'''Guy:''' Okay, shut up 
'''Accented woman:''' -and also weird- 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes. 
'''Guy:''' And... that wasn't cool, like... 
'''Fan:''' That was uncalled for... 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' That's racist man... 
'''Chris:''' Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
'''Guy:''' Does that make it ok? 
'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
'''Chris:''' I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
'''Julie:''' So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
'''Chris:''' (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(incoherent) 
'''Guy:''' Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
'''Guy:''' (incoherent) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
'''Chris:''' Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

'''Other Guy:''' I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
'''Fan:''' Or Power Rangers. 
'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
'''Guy:''' I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
'''Chris:''' Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
'''British guy:''' Can you imitate it? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
'''Guy:''' Like does he sound black? 
'''Chris:''' Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
'''Chris:''' I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
'''Guy:''' All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
'''Black guy:''' Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
'''Chris:''' I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
'''Chris:''' I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
'''Chris:''' I- I- I- 
'''Black guy:''' If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yes it's- 
'''Black guy:''' Why would she be black? 
'''Chris:''' (babbling) 
'''Black guy:''' I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
'''Guy:''' -like a brownish- 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
'''Other guy:''' Hmmm. 
'''Woman:''' Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, ummmm... 
'''Woman:''' Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Julie would mind. 
'''Woman:''' Uhhh... 
'''Fan:''' You look at pornography don't you? 
'''Woman:''' (mumble) 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
'''Fan:''' Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:'''(I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
'''Other guy:''' Uh. 
'''Chris:''' (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
'''Other guy:''' Uh... I was just- 
'''Chris:''' No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
'''Chris:''' Well obviously he lied- 
'''Fan:''' -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
'''Other guy:''' Ay. 
'''Fan:''' They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' The people know you're making it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation.......... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
'''Guy:''' Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
'''Chris:''' Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
'''Chris:''' Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
'''British guy:''' You did mind or you didn't? 
'''Guy:''' Animations??? 
'''Fan:''' I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
''Background voice:'' Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
''Background voice:'' You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

'''Unknown person:''' Uh you- 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offense to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) -on a female officer before. 
'''Chris:''' Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
'''Chris:''' Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
'''Chris:''' Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
'''Other guy:''' Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' You got cut off there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
'''Chris:''' No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(From 45.29)''' 

'''Julie:''' Chris:, Chris what did you see in him that you say in your self? 
'''Chris:''' Like for one thing we were like outcasts, at least one point in our lives. 
'''Black man:''' Wait, wait hold up earlier you said that you thought he would probably paint the white house black. 
'''Chris:''' Oh oh that was my father’s joke he said that. 
'''???:''' Is your father a racist? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but you see I drew that for him before I saw the documentaries so respectfully withdrew that comic page. 
'''???:''' does your father hate black people. 
'''Chris:''' Not necessarily but it’s just how my father just how my father that does not reflect in any way that’s how he felt (annoying ass noise in the background) 
'''Black man:''' Man that racist. 
'''??? :''' Hey Chris I so the ahh saw the Sonichu and Rosechu love sack that you put up and I thought if was pretty cool for (you adult friends?) I just had a question though: do you have any plans in the comic to have romance between you and one of the hedgehogs I mean- 
'''Chris:''' (Yelling) No no no 
'''???:''' -we would like to see that. 
'''???:''' I mean is was just wondering because there are fans how would like to see that. 
'''???:''' Now- now that you answered the his question my kind of relates to his what are your thoughts on inter racial breeding and marriages? 
'''Chris:''' I would not agree of disagree with them but in my personal preference I would fell- I would feel more comfortable in having a full relationship with a white woman but I am willing- am still willing to be friends and acquaintances and give and have respect for the black women as well. 
'''???:''' What about Asians like Japanese? 
'''Chris:''' I’m ok with them as well (yelling) a once. 
'''???:''' So would you get married with a Japanese woman? 
'''Chris:''' hhhmmmm I would have, yes. 
'''???:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' but I’m giving Julie to opportunity here. 
'''Clyde:''' Julie’s a lucky woman. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris is Silvana gonna become one of the good guys like Blake before? 
'''Chris:''' There’s a possibility but I have not confirmed that yet. 
'''???:''' Is she gonna get the male sexual parts and become a full-fledged woman? 
'''Chris:''' Hhhmmm possibly but I haven’t given that thought either. 
'''???:''' Also um reading (?Phillip’s?) question what did you want to be when you were little? 
'''Chris:''' I don’t remember, I do not remember I’m just making it as I go basically. 
'''???:''' is there ever gonna be an end to your sonichu series like a finally. 
'''Chris:''' hmmmm I don’t know ,probably would not. 
'''???:''' Oh so it keeps going and going? 
???: You ever consider making comic about the history of CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Hhmmmm an episode dedicated to that possibility. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris are you going to keep the name changes that you made or are you going back to the original names? 
'''Chris:''' Ahhh ya I’m keeping the name changes. 
'''???:''' But you know umm Nintendo was umm they sent you a letter you never really talk about it further. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but at less at less they use to benefit me for the fact that allowed me to fix noting in that since I couldn’t be sued by such people in that since so the name change is for good. 

'''(From 50 min)''' 

(scattered reactions) 
'''Chris:''' So the name changes were good. 
'''Guy:''' So uh, Chris I was wondering if uh Mary- Mary Lee Walsh Or I guess the new name: Ryam Sla- I don't know- 
'''Chris:''' Sla-weel. 
'''Guy:''' Slaweel, thank you. Uhm, if she were to use her magic to curse Rosechu with a penis, what- wou- would that test the relationship between Sonichu and her? While they were fighting the battle to have it removed. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... Firstly uh, she does not- she does not have the power ch- to do that. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I just thought you know, remember you did the story about 4-cent-garbage and drawing all the- the picture and- 
'''Chris:''' Ah you what, that's one- that's one thing: drawing them, but not actually putting them on the character. 
'''Guy:''' Cause I think that would be like an epic story though- 
Fan: I'll second that. 
'''Guy:''' to have a quest to go to have that penis removed from Rosechu. I mean it's a test of romance between her and Sonichu. 
(muttering) 
'''Guy:''' And when that prevails and the penis is removed and everybody- everybody lives happily ever after. Y'know that would be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Unnnnnnnh, I dunno I have to- I dunno I have to think about that. 
'''Fan:''' It is a really good idea. I mean I like it. 
'''Woman:''' I do too. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah, that's good. 
Other fan: It could show just how much Rosechu means to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' Well I'll- I'll consider it but I'm not making any promises. 
'''Guy:''' We understand. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
(several talking at once) 
'''Guy:''' -decided on that subject? 
'''Chris:''' I'm working on it. 
'''Guy:''' If you actually decide to go forward with that story? Do you think maybe- maybe you could give her a talking penis? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid!!! 
(laughter from various people) 
(unintelligible responses) 
'''Fan:''' Ok, I think- I think we've talked enough about that one guys. 
'''Other guy:''' I have a question that doesn't involve penises. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other guy:''' Anyway, my question is since we've been hearing lot of vicious lies and slander about this, could you confirm exactly why you've been fired from your job at Wendy's Chris? Cause we've been hearing all sorts of- of crazy things and we wanna know the truth. 
'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmmm... well, firstly, what have you heard? 
'''Other guy:'''Well we heard that uh you... we've heard so many things like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... also that- also that is correct but I did not scare the child. The child was tired, I was only- I was only trying to make the child feel better. That's a little amusement. But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired. 
'''Other guy:''' So you didn't help them cut their food and... yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I did help them- help them get their food to- by giving them uhh, by giving them bags and a top for their baked potato boat. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, when will um, the pictures of Zapina, um, appear on the 18 plus page? 
'''Chris:''' Well that was a deleted scene! That was a deleted scene. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Why was it deleted? 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Well, basically, hhh... y'c- y'cant' really have it if you don't have Rosechu working to take the- working to take the pictures of herself up in the bathroom. Cause like can't have one without the other. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaahhh... 
(pause) 
'''Woman:''' I don't know if this is a good question but there's something I wonder about that- we kind of have this DVD you made and... we never unfortunately got... but I'm curious um... do you ever plan to release it? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe. 
'''Other guy:''' I'd pay money for that, I think everyone else here would probably pay money for it too. 
'''Fan:''' Indeed. 
(pause) 
'''Other fan:''' (breaking up) I wanna ask a question. 
'''Guy:''' I hear it's also on YouTube. 
'''Fan:''' Chris do you know that you've influenced the rap/hip hop community? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmh... uh. 
'''Fan:''' I just wanted to mention that because I saw some YouTube videos and it- and- and from some underground hip hop artists such as ??? and they've sampled some of your voice audio complaining about your struggles with uhm... with the school board, with the security guards and they were- they felt so empowered that they actually took those words and mad'em into a very powerful rap song. How does that- how is your reaction to that? 
'''Chris:''' Enhhhh... basically I have not watched those videos so... I don't have an opinion. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I will provide you a link to that, hold on a moment. 
'''Chris:''' Oh that's ok, actually I uh, did sample one. The one where they basically played the parody from "Can't touch this". 
'''Fan:''' No, no, see it's waaay more serious than that. 
'''Chris:''' Well I still haven't heard of- heard of what you're talking about. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other fan:''' Nevermind. 
(rustling and moving noises) 
'''Guy:''' Can you do an impression of MC Hammer? 
(more clicking and rustling) 
'''Chris:''' Can't touch this do do do doo do dooo Can't touch this! Do do do dooo do do do... can't touch this. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome. 
'''Other fan:''' That was- heheheh. 
'''Other guy:''' Awesome. 
'''Guy:''' Can you- can you do Dr. Nick Riviera from the Simpsons? 
'''Chris:''' HIIII EVERYBODY! 
'''Other fan:''' Hello Christian Chandler. 
'''Other fan:''' Hi Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Hi Christian Chandler. 
'''Chris:''' Well that should say Dr. Nick cause that's who I'm imitatin'. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''???:''' That uh- 
'''???:''' HELLOOO EV'RYBODY!!!! 
'''Guy:''' Well that- 
'''Chris:''' Hi Dr. Nick! 
'''Fan:''' Thank you, I love the Simpsons. 
'''Guy:''' Can you do... Peter from Family Guy? 
'''Chris:''' Enhenhenhenh... Hey Lois! Look at me! I'm just (incoherent) you nose, and I'm eatin' your nose. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh that's dead on. 
'''Woman:''' Oh would you- Omicron's been interested in tis- would you actually make a documentary like- like your other DVD but make your daily life? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... I'm... yeah I might but uh... I'm not su- I'm not sure bout it at the moment. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaaaaaaanh... 
'''Guy:''' Chris can you do Mario? You know from Super Mario? 
'''Chris:''' Hay paisano! How you doin' mistah hedgehog! 
'''Guy:''' That's very good. 
'''Chris:''' And then Sonic- then Sonic would say "what?!?" 
(giggling) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris do you have any plans to make a video of yourself taking a dump on a Hexbox? 
'''Chris:''' No! That's gross. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah that was pretty sick right there. 
'''Accented woman:''' Let's ban him. 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's bad enough I cut in half with an axe. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' and one of the elevator jokes... 
'''Other fan:''' Oh we remember that, that was a classic. 
'''Chris:''' And I earned a trophy for that. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmm... 
'''British guy:''' Yeah, I remember that, it was destroying a Hexbox by cutting it in half if I remember... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' If I were to draw nude Zapina fanart, uhm, would you put them on the site? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... uhh, your- you uh- free to draw them at your- at your own- own preference, but I will not be- I will not put it on the website because- cause- because I will not want to break any laws of having underage portrayals- portrayals of underage nudity. 
'''Fan:''' Isn't Dot a child? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry... what? 
'''Fan:''' Dot, from Animaniacs. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''British guy:''' So-uh- uhm- I think I looked up somewhere that um, drawings do not count, they're just lines on paper not like real pictures that are horrible. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I believe- 
'''Chris:''' Draw- 
'''Fan:''' (cut off) 
'''Other guy:''' Those illustrations do not count as child pornography. Because with drawing it's art- it's artistic merit. 
'''Chris:''' Welll... I dunno, I guess it depends I have to- but- y'know you could do the drawing and I'll think- I'll consider it. 
(typing noises) 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, would it be possible to get any pictures of Sonichu having anal sex with Rosechu? 
(pause... thumps and feedback) 
'''Chris:''' Unh... 
Accented woman: Who keeps letting this person in? You are very offensive. 
'''Fan:''' -and and, if you draw those, do you think that Rosechu would actually clean Sonichu's penis off with her mouth when they're done? 
'''Chris:''' Unnnhh... 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Nah I don't think so, I think- I think- I think it would be unh- yeah wash it off with a washcloth. 
'''Fan:''' Do you think at that point then they would sell the washcloth on EBay? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid! 
(people talking over each other) 
'''Chris:''' No, no, no more party humor, all right? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah alright, okay 
'''Fan:''' Unrelated to party humor, I want to ask that in your Springbreak Issue of Sonichu you had an introduction of a new character, the squirtle and I wanna ask 
'''Chris:''' (interrupting) No, no, no, no, that's not just a character, I was, I wasn't introducing a new character, I was just adding like a post strip thing for a bubble speak under one, I just thought to draw some water type pokemon in there 
'''Fan''': I understand but the thing is there is huge cult following for that character and I strongly suggest that you should capalize on that and make him to a main character 
'''Chris:''' Eh... No, I don't think so 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's just sleeping Squirtle work waking up 
'''Fan''': I don't know, people just thought he is really cute and yawning Squirtle, and I don't know, I heard someone say, man wouldn't it be great if he be that dumby sidekick and he is coming and says something silly after some of this and they would be all like Squirtle! 
People laughing and talking over each other 
'''Julie:''' Ehm... 
???: Yo, it makes you *unintelligible* (Chris and someone talk over another) 
'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie? 
'''Julie:''' I'm asking you about... Hm... Never mind, I lost my train of thought. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' That's okay. These guys made me lose a train of thought as well. Doesn't multiple inputs. 
'''Fan''': Yes, kinda lotta control here. I may have to... never mind 
Silence 
'''Fan''': I never lose my train of thought because I have a GPS tracking system on it. 
Laughter 
'''Fan''': Chris, could you tell us a joke right now. Just any joke. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, here is a fuck - here is a funny ...here is a funny mind scream. Funny rhyme scheme - next to be citerically: 
On your Game Boy Advance SP 
create your ME 
play da WII 
For your PSP 
Or your PS3 
Cause it's fun 
See? 
And never buy a Hex-Box 360 
Because it's stupid and you're not a dummy (in childlike voice) 

Mock laughter 

'''Fan''': Is that something you made up? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I made that up 
'''Alucard''': Chris, Chris, can I write that down and tribute to quote you that? Oh man, that's good 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) So you mean to type it up and you quote me on the rhyme scheme? 
'''Alucard''': Yeah, I'd like that. I've been thinking about making a quote book like a mini Chris quote book like something you could open and have a cool line to say when you're on a party and you're like right things 
People talking over Chris and alucard 
'''Chris:''' Alright, well I'm typing it up for Alucard, so... 
'''Alucard''': Thank you 
'''Julie:'''Chris, can we hear one more? 
'''Chris:''' Here is an [[Christian's sex joke|adult joke]] I once come up 
'''Fan''': This is going to be good! 
'''Chris:''' There was this married couple, Bob and Jane, and they have been looking forward to having children. So, one night, Bob comes home from work, and Jane says, "Hi, you had a good day, dear?" And he says, "Nah, I felt alone, darling" And she said, "Well, it's okay, why don't we go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." "Breakfast, at Nine p.m.?" And she says, "Sure, you bring the MILK, and I'll get an EGG." 
'''Fan''': Yo, I heard that before, man 
'''Chris:''' And then later, they had a boy and a girl, Junior Bacon and Orange Juice. All Part of a Balanced Breakfast. 
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]] 
Perplexed silence

'''Fan''': Hey, Chris, how do you solve a Mexican tank? 
'''Chris:''' Stand in front of it? 
'''Fan''': No, man, shoot the guys pushing at it 
Laughter 
'''Fans''': Oh that's a good one 
'''Other fan:''' I got one 

(transcribing end for now at 1:05:00) 

{{Transcription}}
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zkia5tz1y5j Download]

==See Also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 11

2010-11-05T20:34:23Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Transcript */ it is FINISHED.

'''Mumble 11''' is the eleventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 4 [[March 2009]].

==Summary==
* [[Chris]] has a cold. He's drinking orange juice and eating chicken noodle soup.
* [[BlueSpike]] appears. [[Fans|Trolls]] shout abuse and Chris calls him a 13-year-old brat. Chris demands he be muted and it is done.
* BlueSpike stole Chris's Yahoo! account. He gave it to him to prove his love for [[Julie]], but he was Julie all along.
* GeckoMantis is surprised Chris thought BlueSpike was a girl.
* Chris is typing loudly in the background, trying to get his [[PSN]] back from BlueSpike.
* Chris can't upload pages because BlueSpike took his website down.
* A troll points out that as Chris's polar opposite, [[Reldnahc]] should be dead. Chris says forget about that, they have opposite characteristics. "I'm straight, he's a homo".
* BlueSpike is unmuted.
* Chris will help a female fan write a hentai story. He will possibly watch porn for inspiration as he needs to know anatomy "between breast sizes and pussies."
* Another fan says that Chris should be more wary of Internet girls. Chris says when he's better he'll start going out in public.
* BlueSpike says that girls might actually talk to Chris now that he doesn't have his [[medallion]]. Chris replies that he can make [[Medallions_of_Fail#Mark 3|another one]] and has the memories linked to the medallion in his [[Amnyfest Ring]].
* Chris admits [[Julie Reveals Herself|cutting the medallion up and shoving it up his ass]]. He says it hurt.
* BlueSpike is IP banned.
* They verbally abuse BlueSpike.
* Chris says that [[BILLY MAYS]] is not Mayor of [[CWCville]].
* Chris confirms that the medallion has nothing to do with being mayor. BlueSpike questions why they should believe him without his medallion.
* Chris says that the [[ring]] has been linked with the [[medallion]] the whole time.
* The fans say that only the [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|powers]] are transferred. Chris says everything is.
* When challenged that he's not out of the time vortex yet, Chris says he's drawing himself out. [[Chris and reality|He is adamant that this event in the comic is canon to real life]].
* Chris gets on the phone to a fan offering condolences.
* When the redundancy of the medallion is pointed out, Chris says it was like a security blanket.
* The first medallion didn't have a ring holder, but the second did. He transferred his memories from the first to the second, now they have been transferred from the second to the [[ring]].
* Chris offers no comment on [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Rosechu Medallion|his]] [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Jiggliami Medallion|other medallions]], e.g. [[Medallions_of_Fail#The Black Sonichu Medallion|Blachu]].
* Chris gets on the phone with someone who seems to be asking for his parents. He proceeds to talk and lie to this person as if they're a person with some authority over him. Only parts are audible.
* After several minutes, Chris tells the fans he has to go and leaves.
* The fans are left thoroughly confused and annoyed.

==Transcript==
NOTE: I'm only adding in names that are either large names or are directly attributed to in the chat itself.

[''Several people talking at once; someone says "I can hear you" and as the voices die down someone asks "How are you, Chris?"''] 
'''Chris:''' Well, I got a cold. That's one thing how I'm doing. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Aww, drink orange juice! 
'''Dude:''' Yeah... recently a-... recently a flu virus-... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I'm drinki- I'm drinkin' plenty ah orange juice and I'm eatin' s- plenty ah chicken noodle soup... but ehyway, ah, ehyway, ah... 
'''BlueSpike:''' It's one dollar sweet tea. 
'''Dude:''' Be quiet. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You shut up, BlueSpike. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up, Blue. 
'''Dude:''' No one likes you. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Put that 13-year-old brat back in da [''unintelligible''] room 
'''BlueSpike:''' [''unintelligible''] stupid fuck... then you're not getting the Yahoo! account back. 
'''Chris:''' Can somebody mute him, please? 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, mute him. 
'''Chick:''' Shut up. 
'''BlueSpike:''' Alright, I hope you have fun. 
'''Chick:''' Thank you. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' So what's up, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Ehyway, Mr. 13-year-old brat over dere- [''a girl giggles''] -stole my Yahoo! account. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh... 
'''Chick:''' Oh, wow. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' REALLY!? 
'''Dude:''' That's unfortunate. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' ...Terrible. See, that's why- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, he told me to give him the password t- he told me to give him the password to that to prove my love for Julie, only to find out that he's been Julie this whole time. 
'''Dude:''' Oh... 
'''Chick:''' Wow. 
'''Dude:''' Ooh! 
'''GeckoMantis:''' WHOA!!! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What? That is not [[True and Honest]] love. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' That's... wait- 
'''Chick:''' That's so horrible. Are you okay? 
'''Chris:''' Eh... I'll be fine, but I don't know if I'll be able to get t- back in my Yahoo! account now, cause, if it went out of my control, I just got billed for my payment for this month on havin' the- on h- on usin' their web serve- on usin their file management- their file- FTP services. 
'''Dude:''' How much was it? 
'''Chick:''' Chris... don't worry. 
'''Chris:''' It's coh me- it costin' me fifteen dollars a month, so widout my, widout my, so- so widout my Yahoo! account, that thing's gonna charge me every month. 
'''Dude:''' Fifteen dollars isn't really a lot... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Can't you just cancel it? 
'''Chick:''' Can't you just call them, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' ...Fifteen dollars a month, that's a lot of, um... what? [He noticed that some girl was just trying to talk.] 
'''Chick:''' Can you call them? 
'''Chris:''' Egh... I dunno. Probably not. 
'''Chick:''' Chris, I'm sure we'll try and find something... I'm sure we can do something for you. 
'''Dude:''' Uhhh... there's some messages on the left... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We'll get... him to give it back... 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait, Blue, wait, what's that about [[PSN]]? 
'''Chris:''' Egh- apparently, when I called [[Sony]] to get my PSN- to get my PSN back, apparently they found him out in the process. 
'''Chick:''' At least you got some revenge, right? 
'''Dude:''' Did- Uh... uhhhh... forgot what I was gonna say. 
'''Dude:''' Damn. What an asshole, BlueSpike. 
'''Dude:''' Yeah, they did- they do say karma is a bitch. 
'''GeckoMantis:''' Wait... did you actually think BlueSpike was a... girl? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Gecko, BlueSpike tricked us. 
'''Dude:''' He had me fooled. BlueSpike is really good- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He does sound like a girl. 
'''Chris:''' In that case, I'm not gonna di- dignify his question with an answer, because... is- his problem can be easily solved if he called the 800 toll-free number I just provided with him to Sony so he can get his account back and working again. 
'''Guy:''' Is yours working? 
'''Chris:''' Yes, mine is working, thank you very much. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. Okay. 
'''Girl:''' That's good. 
'''Chris:''' The s- the Sony people was- were very hospitable about that. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, Chris, there was something I wanted to tell you. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' You said you were sick with a virus or something? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. I've been having a sinus infection, and possibly also a cold. 
'''Guy:''' Well, up here, I was- 
'''Other Guy:''' [''Interrupts''] A high-functioning cold? 
'''Guy:''' Hang on, hang on... 
'''Chris:''' That's possibly a cold. 
'''Guy:''' I live here in Ohio, and a flu virus just recently passed through; I think that may have gotten down there and you may have got it... [pause] ...and honestly I just got over it a few days ago. 
[Typing sounds] 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm, ah, typing something to, ah, BlueSpike here. 
'''Guy:''' Kay. Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' He can still hear you. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you're typing pretty vigorously. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, he can hear you if you don't wanna, like, you know, skip the typing and start saying it verbally. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I know, I'm just answering ''his'' question. 
'''Guy:''' The rooms are connected. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. Sunshine, are you in the [[Mumble]] as well? 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah. I'm right here. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, we don't have to type into Skype. 
'''Sunshine:''' Okay. Sorry. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Chris, remember me? I'm the cartoonist known as Mr. Skittles here. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I member you offered me the- I member you offered me the, uh, one week challenge. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do that, because I got sick. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, I see. Well, um- 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] I'll- I'll tell you what, let's delay that to, uh, after I- after I feel better, or, uh, or- yeah. -Which one are you?- Mr. Skittles- yeah, I'll talk to you later bout that, okay? 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Oh, okay. [Pause] I've already gotten my page done; I could upload more on Friday, though, when I'm not in school. 
'''Chris:''' Uh... Hey, uh, hey, on a latter note who's co- who's coming onto da PlayStation home tonight for the ''[[Wikipedia:Street Fighter IV|Street Fighter IV]]'' Q&A? I just heard about it. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I don't have a [[PS3]], so I can't. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Yeah, I'm banned for at least a week myself. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
'''Other Guy:''' [''Something unintelligible about "PlayStation" and "I'm pretty poor"''] 
'''Guy:''' I just don't have the money, you know? I'm only fifteen; I can't get a job. 
'''Mr. Skittles:''' Me, I'm just a hungry college student, so... 
'''Chris:''' Hm. Well, my bad. I won't, ah, mar- won't, ah, I won't mention- I won't ask the question again, or- or similar to that. 
'''Sunshine:''' I went to a ''Street Fighter'' tournament recently- [gets cut off or pauses] -a ''Street''- um, nevermind. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, that's okay, yeah, I mean, uh... yeah, very good (?) ''Street Fighter'' tournament, uh, in other places, at least, uh... [unintelligible] 
[''A bunch of people talk. Someone asks, "Are you good at ''Street Fighter'', Chris?"''] 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry, what? 
[''Again, multiple people say stuff.''] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's alright. There's conflicting... talk here, so I'm not really sure. 
'''Guy:''' So, are you gonna make more comic pages? I mean, it's kinda hard to keep a [[fanbase]] without actually, like, you know... making [[Sonichu (comic)|the comic]]. 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] I'm g- I'm gonna draw- I'm gonna draw more pages, I'm gonna draw more pages... 
'''Sunshine:''' Give him a break, guys! He just had [[stress|a hard time]]. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah, plus also, this [[BlueSpike|thirteen y- thirteen year old]] there took my Yahoo! account and in the process took my ah- took my website down... so it's not like I can upload the pages right away at this point. 
'''Guy:''' You know, you might as well make them so when... [''trails off''] ...You know, there's actually websites devoted to just having webcomics uploaded. 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Chris:''' I'll- I'll look into that- I'll look into that another time, but not right now. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, do you think that, um... was Clyde involved with BlueSpike? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, possibly; they were in- they were in talks. 
[''Lots of people talk. Chris [[sigh]]s.''] 
'''Sunshine:''' It's okay, Chris. We're still here for you. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It could be that BlueSpike is Clyde's puppet. 
'''Guy:''' ...or vice versa. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, Chris? I have a question. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' Um, [[Reldnahc]] in the comic is supposed to be your exact opposite, right? 
'''Chris:''' Um... sorry, uh, which one? 
'''Other Guy:''' Uh... I think his name is Reldnahc, the guy with the- 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] Oh, ye- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the complete opposite, yes. 
'''Other Guy:''' Well, if he's the exact opposite of you in every way, shouldn't he be dead? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' He has a point. 
'''Chris:''' [Sigh] Forget the alive part. Alive and dead, that's a different thing. I'm talkin about- in ah- complete opposite personality and characteristics. So, like, you know, I'm straight, he's a [[homo]]. 
'''Other Guy:''' Okay. 
'''Sunshine:''' That was a stupid question. 
'''Chris:''' Ahyway, also, uh, BlueSpike wants you to unmute him. 
'''Guy:'''...but... why should we? 
'''Sunshine:''' Uh, Chris... 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just go ahead and unmute him, please, so that he can- 
'''Guy:''' -Alright. 
'''Chris:''' ...continue on. 
'''Sunshine:''' Chris, I know I emailed you before, but, uhh... -shut up, Blue- uhh... I emailed you about the [[Wikipedia:hentai|hentai]] series that I was gonna work with you- 
'''Bluespike:''' [''sarcastically''] Oh, great. 
[''People tell him to shut up''] 
'''Bluespike:''' I look forward to it. 
'''Guy:''' I'll unmute him when she's done. 
'''Sunshine:''' Ugh... yeah. I emailed you about a hentai series that I wanted to work with you- 
'''Chris:''' -Oh, yeah, I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' -story. (''?'') 
'''Chris:''' I remember that. 
'''Sunshine:''' Yeah, um, are you gonna write the story for me or anything like that? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I'll let you write up a story- you know, uh, help you with that. (?) 
'''Sunshine:''' So, you'll write it after you're done? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, they sayin' that you- uh, alright well also, uh, Bluespike is sayin' that if you mute him once more, the Yahoo! will be gone from my hands forever. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, do you have to watch a lot of [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|porn]] to get inspiration for hentai? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh... possibly. I can't say for sure, but it's- but you know, you definitely gotta know the... [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|anatomy]], you know, between breast sizes and the, uh... [[China|pussies]]... and the [[Pickles|dicks]]. That's, uh... 
'''Guy:''' Vaginas? 
'''Chris:''' Yes. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well... I think we can bounce off some ideas when we work on it together... but you gotta promise, cause I already have some sketch ideas and everything I wanna show you. 
'''Chris:''' That's- th- that's cool. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... 
'''Chris:''' [''sighs''] What is it? 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, it's not even related to anything... icky; don't worry. Tell me, if you had to write your own hentai story, why don't you just write that out right now? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... cause I'm n- cause my mind isn't exactly in complete r- able to quickly make decisions state right now, because I'm sick. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's your reason for not doing anything... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [Talks over Bluespike] I have a serious question about hentai, Chris- why did you draw hentai of [[Mary Lee Walsh]]? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, I thought you hated her. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' It distur- yeah, it disturbed me a bit as a fan. 
'''Bluespike:''' [''unintelligible''] having feelings for [''unintelligible''] 
'''Guy:''' Stop it, Blue. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know why I did it; I just felt like messing with- um, uh- just, like, like messing with as a- as... she's- double (''??? devil?'') character. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him near the end] Chris... that's disgusting. 
'''Guy:''' I understand, Chris. I see what you did there. 
'''Other Guy:''' Uhh, it's kinda like, um- kinda like a little joke or a [[parody]]; kinda like a stab. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' I see. Also, check to your left- there's a comic space and (''???''). Couple of websites where you can, like, post webcomics and stuff. 
'''Chris:''' I see... but, still, I want my Sonichu site back up in order for me to... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I think he just wants his- [gets cut off] it's okay. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I saw the newest video... 
'''Sunshine:''' [Talks over him] I mean, he's paying for it, after all. 
'''Guy:''' ...I was wondering what you're gonna do about the site. 
'''Chris:''' I don't know... at least until ah- at least until I can find out ih- at least until I can get my Yahoo! account back. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris, tell me... when you called the, uh, PlayStation people, whoever they are, did you reveal anything about me? What did you reveal? 
'''Chris:''' No, I only revealed my information; they must have found you as being the one that, ah, got into my account. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're positive about this? 
'''Chris:''' I'm positive! I'm- I'm s- I'm serious. 
'''Sunshine:''' They can do that. It's not that hard. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm- hey, no, shut up- I'm just asking Chris. 
'''Sunshine:''' Well, you should be smart enough to know that... cause you're stupid. 
'''Bluespike:''' Stupid enough to... get a password from an [[autism|autistic]] that he wants so bad (???) 
'''Sunshine:''' Well that's just cause you're mean. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Chris:''' ...and plus, I thought it wa- and plus, I thought it was, ah... [gets talked over]... an adult woman. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, you should probably be more secure and a little bit more paranoid [[Ivy|the next time]] you meet a girl on the Internet. 
'''Chris:''' [''Talks over him''] Yeah... yeah... well, after I get over this virus I'm definitely gonna start going back out in public... in local areas. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, I'm looking forward to that, Chris; I would love to see- see, now that you don't have your [[medallion]], [[Boyfriend-free girl|ladies]] might be more willing to talk to you. 
'''Chris:''' I may not have it on me, but I kn- I know I can recreate one- and plus, [[Chris and reality|I have the memories linked to my medallions in my]] [[ring]]. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but your ring won't scare trolls away. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' [''Talks over Bluespike''] You really should grab the medallion back, Chris; it's your sign of- [[honest]]y. 
'''Bluespike:''' [Talks over him] Oh god, no... no, don't try and kill the man. 
[Several people talk at once] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You're the one trying to kill him. 
'''Chris:''' ...I do plan on- I do plan on recr- I do plan on recreating the medallion; I just... [''gets talked over''] 
'''Foreign Guy (?):''' What happened to this one? 
'''Chris:''' Because I thought I was doin' it for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' D'oh. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What happened to it? 
'''Chris:''' This brat here asked me to c- asked me to cut it up and shove it up my ass. 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over him, then laughs''] ...and you did. 
[''A strange whistle can be heard here.''] 
'''Guy:''' So, did you do it? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Other Guy:''' How far did it go? 
'''Girl (possibly Sunshine):''' Oh my God. 
[''A couple more people react in disgust at the same time.''] 
'''Bluespike:''' How did it feel, Chris? Tell me. 
'''Chris:''' It hurt. 
'''Guy:''' [''Talks over him''] How far- how far could you shove it up there? 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over guy''] It hurt your rectum? 
'''Guy:''' ...I'm sorry that I may ask. 
'''Chris:''' Well, (?) I shoved it up as far as I could get it. 
'''Guy:''' Ah. 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Other Guy:''' Stop talking about this! This is kinda... egh... 
'''Bluespike:''' Uhh, no, I have another question for, uh, Chris. 
'''Other Other Guy:''' Yeah, let's try- I was gonna eat dinner afterwards. Jesus. 
[''Several people talk at once. Someone burps or something.''] 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] You don't have ta- you don't have ta picture it. You don't have ta picture it. 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Guy:''' It is kinda hard because I was gonna eat curry rice. 
'''Chris:''' [''sigh''] Well, I'm sorry I r- I'm sorry r- I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. 
'''Guy:''' Let's just talk about something else. 
'''Chris:''' [''Talks over him''] Like, you know, it's okay; I can still recreate one, aaand I still have my high school ring. 
'''Guy:''' Man, I'm sorry, man. 
'''Bluespike:''' Which, I must admit, Chris, it is a decent ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I should've gotten a high school ring. 
'''Guy:''' Just... Chris, just- whatever you do, I mean, they've gotten a lot of things, but do ''not'' let them get your high school ring. 
'''Chris:''' They're not gettin' it. [''Pause''] I mean, that was a big investment itself. 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over him''] Uh, Chris... I have a question Chris. 
'''Chris:''' What? 
'''Guy:''' Most people usually, like, forget about their high school ring after high school and move to college rings. 
'''Girl:''' [''Talks over him''] Gecko... 
'''Bluespike:''' I love how you start talking when I say "Hey." Anyway, [pronounces it "ahyway" like Chris always does] Chris, you seem like the kinda person that would know about this: since it appears to be an IP ban, this will not last forever, surely... and would you happen to know if I account share (?)- which is exactly what happened- how long would I be banned, do you think? 
'''Chris:''' I dunno. I d- I guess it's up to them. I don't know bout them. I mean, I did not even know- [''he starts sounding agitated''] I only gave them my account information, not yours, I swear... I sw- 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over him''] I never said- I never- just- I know, I- yes, I know- 
'''Chris:''' [''Resumes talking''] ...yeah, but ahyway, appa- but- yeah- but ahyway, apparently, they lead ya (?) to that and they apparently banned ya off there. I mean, I dunno. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...Yes... 
'''Chris:''' Probably be, like, a week or so, but, you know, you can call them with the [[Wikipedia:Toll-free telephone number|800 number]] I just gave you. 
[''Bluespike and Chris talk at the same time, someone else says something too''] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, why are you helping this monster? 
'''Guy:''' You are truly a saint for doing this. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, if- hey- if only I- [gets cut off] helping him get his [[PSN]] account back, and just- make him feel- make him feel like, you know, get ''his'' life back in order... and then maybe he'll be more willing to give back my Yahoo! account. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris, after this experience, I will never [[troll]] again; in fact, I will [[White knight|fight the trolls]]... 
'''Chris:''' Okay. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' We will all fight the trolls. 
'''Bluespike:''' ''After'' this is done. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You stop trolling now, you troll! 
'''Guy:''' We will kick their collective asses. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' You are a bad person, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, you're really saying tha- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Interrupts] Didn't your mother raise you better? 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys. Those of you- hey, hey hey hey, easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' Well, I guess you don't want the PSN. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Smack him with your medallion! 
'''Sunshine:''' Blue, shut up!... shut up and let Chris talk. 
'''Bluespike:''' ...One more word out of any of you and Chris will never have the- Yahoo! again. 
'''Chris:''' Easy, guys. Easy. 
'''Bluespike:''' C'mon! I dare you: say one word. Do it. 
'''Chris:''' Hey, easy, guys; don't- let's not kick him in the teeth, or, uh, tha- or anything that physical. 
'''Bluespike:''' I dare you to kick me in the teeth, Chris. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' -but Chris, in your one video, you said that trolls get a kick in the teeth! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and you did a punch. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, I was talkin' about an adult troll; this guy's a thirteen- this guy's a thirteen-year-old. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' So? That doesn't make it any better or... that doesn't mean he's exempt from punishment. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, still... talkin' bout legal aspects. 
'''Guy:''' Well, I guess you should be giving him spankings or something. 
'''Bluespike:''' That's it. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bluespike? I heard you were a homosexual. 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over him''] Well I- well I warned you... I warned you all had one more chance. Now, because of his fans, Chris will not have his Yahoo!. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! We will stop you. I know where you live, Bluespike. 
'''Bluespike:''' No you don't. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yes I do. 
'''Chris:''' [Interrupts] Look- look, look... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I'm tracking your IP. 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm behind seven proxies. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' I can see through them. 
[''Several people talk''] 
'''Guy:''' Not proxies! (?) 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [''Laughs''] 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, proxies. You will never find out where I live unless you have my... [''gets talked over''] 
'''Sunshine:''' Guys! Let Chris talk! 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Alright, talk, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' I didn't have much to say. I was just, uh... mostly, uh, I do wa- I do want and need my Yahoo! account back. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Couldn't you just cancel it? 
'''Chris:''' No, I have to lo- I have to be logged in in order to do that. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Couldn't you call Yahoo!? 
'''Chris:''' I don't know, I don't- I couldn't find there- uh, last time I tried goin' to- tryin' to contact Yahoo!, I couldn't find a phone number on there. 
'''Guy:''' Ohh... what about email? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I could try that, but that's, uh, er, that's another story, but, uh... [''trails off''] 
'''Bluespike:''' Thank you. Anyway, Chris, I'll give you and [[Fanbase|your fans]] one more chance. How does that sound? 
'''Chris:''' Ugh... fine. [Pause] Nobody pick on Bluespike... and I'll tell you what: as a bonus, I'll take down [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 4th, 2009|that video]] I uploaded earlier. 
'''Bluespike:''' No, keep it up as a testament to the things I've done. Please keep it up. [''pause''] So, Chris, how would you feel about pulling the PlayStation for me, since I am not very good with talking to people on the phone. 
[Chris sighs] 
'''Bluespike:''' See what you can get done. 
'''Chris:''' Fine, I'll do something, alright? 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, after this Mumble you will get on a call with... [gets talked over] 
'''Chris:''' bu- bu- bu- but I nee- but I need- but, um, Bluespike I need to u- know your real name in real life. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, forget that, man. I'm just gonna call 'em myself. 
'''Chris:''' I gotta tell 'em your real name so I can call them for you. 
'''Bluespike:''' If I tell you that, you're gonna come find out where I live and- give me a cold... so forget that. [''pause''] Chris, another thing: why are you telling your fans to give me a cold? 
'''Chris:''' Because, I'm suffering through one that's similar to a cold. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but you see- Chris, my PSN ban- that's kind of the equivalent of a cold... except I'm really mad. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, fine, well, nobody give Bluespike a cold either. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, don't give me a cold, bro... I need vaccines. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' You could give him AIDS! 
'''Bluespike:''' I'm gonna give you [[Homos|AIDS]]. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [unintelligible] ...never mind. 
'''Bluespike:''' You'd better. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, also, Chris, what was- in the video you made- what was that about [[BILLY MAYS]] not being Mayor? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... Another thing that I thought, ah, I ''thought'' I was doing for an adult woman. 
'''Bluespike:''' Chris... 
'''Chris:''' [Stutters a lot] ...I verbally dubbed him... Mayor. 
'''Bluespike:''' Oh, a few things, Chris, if I may: um... [gets talked over] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, then we saw this picture- hold on, I wanna show Chris this picture. 
'''Bluespike:''' Ah, yes, after I... say one thing. 
'''Chris:''' Oh, whoa whoa, now wait, is this a picture that you, uh, got in an email?... about- [''gets talked over''] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No. 
[Jack and Chris talk at the same time] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' It's something that was floating around on the forums... [''trails off, saying something about BILLY MAYS''] 
'''Bluespike:''' [kind of unintelligible, but names products advertised by Billy Mays. Someone else adds a product.] 
'''Chris:''' Wait, wait, wait- let me just, uh, let me just ask Bluespike: why him be mayor? Why him? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Because he's a charismatic leader. 
'''Bluespike:''' Because Billy Mays is the best person in the world. By the way, if I may really quickly... you should fight your own battles instead of getting your fans to do it for you. You're not playing overlord; (?) you can't order your minions. 
[Jack talks over Bluespike saying "um, Chris" while someone else burps] 
'''Bluespike:''' Are you serious? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, since he's wearing that medallion... Chris, I have a- you see the picture? Since he's wearing the medallion, doesn't that mean he's Mayor? I thought that- 
'''Chris:''' -No, no, no; the medallions have nothing to do with being Mayor. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But Chris, you said that- 
[''Chris emits a very loud angry [[stress]] groan''] 
'''Chris:''' The medallions have nothing to do with being the Mayor! 
[''Several people talk at once; a girl says "stop bullying him!"''] 
'''Girl:''' Everybody calm down! 
'''Chris:''' And also, ihya look- if you look at this picture, that thing has obviously been Photoshopped onto there... and I think that, uh... 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [Talks over him] It doesn't look Photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' And by the way, um... 
'''Chris:''' That i- it is Photoshopped- I mean, do you see a shadow underneath the medallion? If it was r- was more matching to the setting? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Well, it's against his shirt!... It's against his shirt. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yeah, he doesn't wear it outside his collar. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Yeah. 
'''Bluespike:''' By the way, um... 
'''Chris:''' [Talks over him] So it's doesn- so it's been obviously Photoshopped. 
'''Bluespike:''' Before I forget what I'm going to say... ah, yes: how can you believe what you say in that video without your True and Honest [[medallion]]? Chris, tell me this, and tell me why I should believe the words you say on the [[YouTube]] video on the Internet. Please, do tell me. 
[''Chris coughs''] 
'''Chris:''' I ha- I still have my high school ring, which has been in league with my medallion the whole time. 
'''Bluespike:''' Yes, but... you could have easily stolen the ring... [''gets talked over''] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' But you said in the retraction video that the medallion is needed! 
'''Chris:''' Oh- if you all recall the preview for [[Sonichu 10|the- number ten comic book]], the powers of the medallion get transferred to my high school ring. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) But I thought that was just your power for [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], though. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, everything about Chris-Chan Sonichu even gets transferred to the ring. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [''Over Chris''] I thought this was like, uh... 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Foreign Guy:''' Chris, this hasn't happened yet- you are not out of the [[Time Void|time vortex]] in the comic yet. 
'''Chris:''' I've drawn myself out of there. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Um, Chris, but wasn't that a, um... like, trailer or something for the real comic? I thought that, uh... so, is it canon or is it not canon? 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] It's canon to real life, as well... this one. 
'''Guy:''' You can turn into Sonichu?? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Wh- yeah, you can transform in real life?? What?! 
'''Chris:''' No, I can't transform in real life, but it's canon- 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' ...it's canon to- it's canon for- it's canon for... that sorta thing. You know, I don't need my medallion; I- the powers got transferred to my ring... it's canon. 
[''Chris's phone rings''] 
'''Guy:''' So what happened to [[Blanca]]? 
'''Chris:''' 'Scuse me. [''Gets up to answer the phone''] Hello?... Yes... 
[''Someone makes a weird noise''] 
'''Bluespike:''' Who could be calling our dear Chris-chan? 
'''Chris:''' [''Still on the phone''] Yes. 
'''Foreign Guy:''' (?) Why, yes, I would like to save money on my [[Son-Chu|car]] insurance. 
[''Everyone laughs''] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Blanca got the medallion, that troll. 
'''Chris:''' ...but, uh, tell me something I don't know. 
'''Bluespike:''' You're [[Obesity|fat]]. You don't know that. 
'''Chris:''' ...and I appreciate your support. (???) 
[long pause] 
'''Bluespike:''' I appreciate your condolences. 
'''Chris:''' Alright, you take care and have a pleasant day. [''Hangs up''] 
'''Bluespike:''' Tell me, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Guy:''' I think he's still on the phone, shh. 
'''Bluespike:''' Hey, Chris... can you hear me? 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Sunshine:''' Hey, Blue... don't be an idiot. 
'''Chris:''' [''Gets back onto Mumble, sighing''] Alright. 
'''Bluespike:''' So, Chris... who was on the phone? 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, just a- fan, giving me his... nice... words and condolences for all the bad (?) that's been happening to me from... trolls. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' [''Talks over him''] Bluespike was in here earlier, telling that- saying that he- you didn't have any real fans, and we were all trolls. We told him we're the true, honest fans, cause we are. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. Tell it like it is, brother... and sisters. 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Guy:''' If the powers are in the high school ring, why have a medallion at all? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' No! He transferred the powers from the medallion- 
'''Guy:''' -I know, but- 
[''Several people talk at once''] 
'''Bluespike:''' Actually, I do know the answer to this: think [[Wikipedia:Linus van Pelt|Linus]] in, uh, ''[[Peanuts]]''. He... feels attached to the medallion, like Linus feels to his blanket... 
'''Foreign Guy:''' No, that way the powers are doubled! 
'''Bluespike:''' ...and, it's Linus, except Linus is slightly cooler. 
'''Guy:''' Huh... but, I noticed that- the ring- it could be like in [[Wikipedia:Captain Planet|''Captain Planet'']]. 
[Several people talk] 
'''Guy:''' Let Chris talk! I wanna hear his answer. 
'''Chris:''' [sigh] I'm done, but, uh, pretty much, yeah... but that is fairly much... yeah, the medallion was like a security blanket... in a sense. 
'''Guy:''' And now the ring's a security blanket? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. It was attached to the medallion, as well. So, there you go. [''Pause''] It was a thing- there was a characteristic of the m- of the ma- of the medallion that, ah, would se- would separate it from any thieves. It had a little thing on the back that was custom-fitted to my ring. [''Pause''] I had my ring on it the whole time. 
'''Guy:''' I thought the first medallion didn't have a thing for the ring. 
'''Chris:''' The first one didn't, but the second one I created did. 
'''Guy:''' 'Kay. 
'''Chris:''' So it's like, you know, after the first one was- first one went, then I created the second one, added the slot with the ring, and, like, I transferred my memories from the old medallion to the new medallion, and in turn it got tra- all that got trans- all that and then some got transferred to the ring. 
'''Guy:''' Oh. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Chris, don't you have multiple medallions, like, uh, [[Medallions of Fail#The Black Sonichu medallion|the... Blachu one]] and the, uh... I mean... Blake one? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, no- yeah, no comment about those. No comment about those. 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' What do you mean, no comment? Can't you just wear those in the meantime? 
'''Bluespike:''' [''Talks over Jack''] Chris, why don't you tell us what happened? Tell us what happened. 
'''Chris:''' [unintelligible] Aaagh... [his phone rings] Same thi- same thi- [''mutters''] excuse me... [''gets up to answer the phone''] 
'''Guy:''' Jeez. 
'''Guy:''' Explain that- (???) in the comic books. 
'''Other Guy:''' Shush. 
'''Chris:''' Uhh, no. This is Christian Chandler, [[Bob|his]] son. [''Pause''] Uhh, sorry. [[Barb|She]]'s taking a nap right now. [''Pause''] Speak it again. (?) 
'''Guy:''' What's going on? 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Shut up! 
[''long pause; some random noises are heard''] 
'''Jack Thaddeus:''' Are you there, Chris? 
'''Sunshine:''' He's on the phone. 
'''Guy:''' Echo, echo, echo... 
'''Other Guy:''' Shut up. 
[Long pause] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, it's a webcam. [''Pause''] Yeah, I ha- I haven't done anything like that in a- f- for da long time. [''Pause''] Yeah yeah, I've been stepping away ''from'' the Internet. [''He pauses and/or gets cut off''] ...webcam. [Long pause] ...and sometimes I would've been low-functioning, I guess. [''Pause''] [''stressed''] You don't have to do that; I'm not talking to the people. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah... yeah yeah yeah. 
[''A strange noise can be heard; it may be part of a video''] 
[''Long pause''] 
'''Chris:''' (???) sir, you hush. (?) Go ahead, father. (?) 
[''Trolls say stuff and tell each other to shut up''] 
'''Chris:''' It doesn't- (???) -it doesn't matter if I was cut off the Internet or not. [''Pause, weird thumping noises''] Yeah, well, I mean- yeah, I been ta- [''gets cut off''] Alright, well, good. I'm backing off (?) now; you can tell me more later. (?) [Pause] I'll talk to you later, father. [''Sigh; pause; sighs again, getting back on Mumble''] 
'''Girl:''' Chris, is everything okay? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, things are okay. Listen, I gotta go; I have things to do; I'll talk to y'all another time. 
[''Everyone goes crazy and tries to figure out what's going on'']

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 12|Mumble Chat 12]]|}}

==External links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?zzzmdmhmwzw Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 10

2010-11-04T22:17:48Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Transcript */ - Fixed font tags bitches. On to 11.

'''Mumble 10''' is the tenth of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 23 [[February 2009]].

{{quote|I can tell in my heart that Julie is 19. I'm sure that Max can vouch for her age.|Chris}}

The [[Trolls|loyal fanbase]] tries to persuade Chris to travel to Cleveland to rescue Julie from the clutches of her evil brother, Max. Chris (and his mother) have some doubts, mostly that it is a sting operation in the manner of ''[[Wikipedia:To Catch a Predator|To Catch a Predator]]'' (which had stopped filming by 2009). One of the trolls tries to tell Chris an anecdote about independence and asserting yourself to gain the respect of your parents as you grow up, but Chris interrupts him and talks over his story.

==Summary==
* Trolls talk on an unrelated subject before [[Chris]] arrives.
* Chris says that [[Max]] took Julie to HQ, and asks if he could be hurt or jailed for going to pick her up. Trolls aren't sure.
* None of them have heard of HQ.
* Chris has five days to pick Julie up from [[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] HQ in Cleveland, Ohio.
* A troll says that [[Clyde]] is testing Chris's love for [[Julie]], and he should go.
* Chris whines about the 400-mile (650 km), seven-hour drive.
* He's "feeling insecure" about the trip. Even though he's an adult, he should respect his parents' wishes.
* A troll says that no force can keep true love apart.
* It's [[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]] tomorrow, he was born at 5:30 in the morning.
* '''Chris says that love is priceless, but he has to do all the work to get to Cleveland.'''
* His [[Barb|mum]] will say not to go, and is worried. He can't convince her to let him go.
* '''Barb is jealous of Chris loving another woman more than her. He has to respect her wishes.'''
* '''His parents pay for his gas. [[Son-Chu]] is Barb's car.'''
* Chris was born at 5:30 EST at [[Wikipedia:Martha Jefferson Hospital|Martha Jefferson Hospital]], [[Charlottesville]].
* Barb is worried about Chris being set up to be hurt or turned into the police.
* She said the same thing when he was going to visit Blanca - She could be [[pedofork|underaged]] and Chris could be arrested.
* '''Chris can tell in his heart that Julie is 19. Max can vouch for her age. In her scanned ID picture, the year was blurred out.'''
* Trolls compare ''To Catch a Predator'' - The person always tells the suspect that they are underage. Chris wouldn't be charged, as they all know Julie is 19.
* Chris leaves.
* Chris returns. Max cackles evilly. Sounds like canned laughter. This makes Chris suspicious about the trip.
* Max is watching ''[[Family Guy]]''. Chris gets distracted and starts talking about the episode, saying he loves it.
* [[Aunt Corina]]'s funeral is later; he can't go now.
* Trolls say that this is a birthday test from God and he should go. Chris insists on talking to his mom first.
* Max has intercepted the [[sex tape|video]] that Chris made for Julie. '''The girl who told him this says that Julie is also a troll.'''
* The trolls say that this can't be true. Chris agrees.
* '''He believes in her, Julie is a wonderful sweet 19 year old who wrote him a very nice letter and sent it in the mail with pictures that her friend took.'''
* A troll says that Julie wouldn't be a troll, she's been trolled her whole life by the Georgian government.
* Chris researched Georgia when looking for [[Molvanîa]]. A troll says that his schoolbooks had a map of Molvanîa.
* The troll no longer has a map, he had to burn his schoolbooks to heat his house.
* Chris has seen a map of Molvanîa, but not its surrounding countries.
* Max says he isn't a troll.
* Wait, Chris misread. He is a troll.
* A troll references [[Mumble 9.5]]. Chris says that they got to him emotionally so he can't remember the details.
* The trolls can't do anything about Max. He is a bad boy. One suggests googling [[The Miscreants]].
* A troll makes a joke. Chris laughs, says that it's funny, but says he isn't in the mood to laugh.
* A troll asks Chris if he can tell a story. Chris interrupts: "Sure. Once upon a time..."
* Chris is looking at [[The Miscreants]]' website.
* Chris looks over Miscreant operatives and operations, detailing various acts of trolling against him. He seems to have minimal reaction to this list of various 'friends' and what they were assigned to get from him.
* [[PandaHalo]] being alive yields no response.
* The trolls says that nothing on the site is too bad. The Miscreants are either afraid of or testing Chris.
* Chris says that the [[ED]] page stops him from getting a job.
* Chris thanks the trolls for their input. He'll update his mom and ask for gas money.
* The trolls says that he needs to assert himself against his mother; she should respect him on his birthday.
* Chris says today is [[Aunt Corina]]'s funeral, so he has to wait to get his and his mum's emotions out of the way before he puts his foot down.
* [[Clyde]] enters, sings happy birthday to 'Mister [[Sonichu]]'.
* Chris asks if he's going to be hurt or arrested when he goes to Cleveland.
* Clyde says he only wants to make sure he will never touch a woman; as he's not a man. He welcomes Chris to Miscreant HQ.
* Chris is going to talk to his mom and will come to Cleveland in the next few days.
* Clyde says he's doing this because Chris is a terrible person.
* Julie is not a captive, she's having the time of her life.
* Chris is off to eat and rest for the funeral. Clyde will send chocolates. Chris will talk to his mum after the funeral.

==Transcript==

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his Oedipus complex}}

'''Fan 1''': From what I read there's a way to take ownership of the files that are unaccounted for. 
'''Chris''': um... Hey everybody, I have- I have a-I have a question. 
'''High-pitched Fan''': Umm, sure!

'''Chris''': From my understanding Max took Julie over to what is called "HQ". 
'''Fan 3''': Headquarters? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. And uh, yeah. And uh, Clyde is setting things up over there. So uh, just wanna know uh, is Clyde planning on, like, to hurt me or get me into jail or anything like that if I go over to Cleveland to pick up Julie myself over at the HQ? 
'''Fan''': I dunno. 
'''High-pitched Fan''': I'm not sure, I'm just doing homework. 
'''Fan''': Uh hey, let me fix something here. Hold on a minute. 
'''Chris''': Alright, so nobody here knows, knows uh, has anybody here actually been to this HQ? This headquarters? 
'''Fan''':I don't even know what that is, I just got here 15 minutes ago. 
'''Fan''': I don't know what that is. 
'''High-pitched Fan''': I just got here, too. I'm doing homework right now. 
'''Chris''': ''[sigh]'' Ahhhh...yeah, uh, Max, Julie's brother, uh, pretty much spirited away Julie, took her to the HQ, to the Headquarters, where The Miscreants, I think they were called are, and now, uh, Max wants me to come over to Cleveland within the next five days to pick up Julie from the Headquarters. And I'm just trying to find out, uh, if Clyde is planning, if he's uh, going to put me, going to try to force me in jail or hurt me or anything like that. 
'''Fan''': Hmmm. 
'''Fan''': Hmmm. 
'''High-pitched Fan''': That would be unfortunate. 
'''1Fan''': I highly doubt it. 
'''Chris''': Highly doubt it. 
'''1Fan''': From what it seems Clyde is just trying to scare you. 
'''Chris''': I see. 
'''Fan''': Yeah, I think he's lying. 
'''1Fan''': I think that if you actually go up there it would show him that you are very serious about, you know, your feelings towards Julie, I had a whole big list of things I was about to say now and they just went boom. So to just to the chase here I'd just say go for it. And I'm pretty sure, if anything, Clyde would actually shake your hand and say, "Congratulations, you've finally done it." 
'''Fan''': Yeah, you should go and show him that you truly care about your sweetheart. 
'''Chris''': ''[sigh]'' Ok. ''[long pause]'' Yeah, you see, one thing is, uh, I mean I-I understand is that it's like a 400 mile 7 hour drive, according to MapQuest, between my address and... Max's address? But, yeah well Julie is living with Max, her older brother. Yeah, but anyway I was, anyway I was, still feeling like insecure about the trip, especially since like uh, you know even though I am an adult, I should respect my mother's and my father's wishes. And uh, still a little bit on the, you know, still gonna need a few-few dollars to get me to uh, Cleveland. 
'''1Fan''': Chris, I'm gonna say this. 
'''Chris''': Yes. I'm listening. 
'''1Fan''': If you truly love someone. Truly in your heart love someone, no force in the world, be it distance, be it a physical obstacle, anything, can stop you from being with that person. And protecting that person that you care about that much. This is one of life's little tests, Chris. And you need to take it head on. 
'''Fan''': Yeah. And I guess in less than 20 minutes you'll be 27. 
'''1Fan''': Happy birthday, by the way. 
'''Chris''': Actually, actually, thank you, actually, I was born at 5:30 in the morning. [long pause] Actually I understand love is priceless. But you gotta understand that there are limits on uh, on the distance. I mean love is priceless, but you know, I have to do all the work to uh, get there. 
'''Fan''': Chris? Chris, what kind of mileage does your car get? 
'''Chris''': 35 highway. 25 city. 
'''High-pitched fan''': That's pretty good! 
'''Fan''': I wouldn't worry about it. And if you do get caught in some kind of trouble there are nice people out there,someone can help you. You have a cell phone, right? 
'''Chris''': Um, ok. Yeah. 
'''Fan''': There you go! You have no problem, man. 
'''Chris''': Yeah listen, that's another thing, that my mom, y'know my mom is like you know, she's gonna be telling me, don't go, don't go, I worry about you, and she [[Obesity|watches a lot of television]] and it's like I'm trying, I've been trying, to get her to let me go to Julie in Cleveland... 
'''Fan''': Chris, I-I think you have to show your mom that you truly love Julie. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, but my- then my mom is also a bit jealous of me loving-a loving another woman... more than her. I mean I know, I mean I understand she's in a situation like, "cut the umbilical cord" you would say, I'm sure. But still, I have to respect my mother, very much. 
'''1Fan''': Well, Chris, you, you pay them for your room and board, right? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. 
'''1Fan''': Is there anything they do to support you that you don't pay for? Other than just,you know, their moral support. 
'''Chris''': They uh, they give me food, and they uh, they also pay for my gas as well. And plus the [[Son-Chu |car I drive]] is actually my mother's car. 
'''Fan''': Oh... 
'''1Fan''': Sorry, I gotta use voice activity because I'm tired of pressing my button here. And I'm gonna go on a rant here. Chris, I'm going to tell you a little story. Um, I've had the same problem back when I was younger, but, it was back when I was 18... 
'''Chris''': ''[Interrupts]'' Alright but uh, alright... 
'''1Fan''': When I turned 18. Let me tell you this, because it's very relevant to the situation. 
'''Chris''': Let me just say, uh, a thing though. It's like, I don't want to leave home without saying goodbye, though. That's not the kind of person I am. It's like I want to give my mom at least a notice-amount of time that, like, y'know, I'm going over to Cleveland, and I wanna uh, make sure I have uh, her uh, consent, like you know, she's saying "it's alright, have a safe trip, come back soon." It's not like uh, I mean at this point she's like uh, she doesn't want me to go. But I'm just sayin'. Hey, unmute the rascal, please. 
'''1Fan''': ''[Laughs once]'' 
'''Muffled Fan''': It was just echo. 
'''Chris''': Oh uh, I'm sorry. Anyway I'm done, you understood me there, rascal, right? 
'''Troll''': It's 5:30 in the morning where, exactly? 
'''Chris''': 5:30 Eastern Standard Time I was born in [[Honest Content|Martha Jefferson Hospital]] in [[Charlottesville]]. 
'''Fan''': Thank you! 
'''Other fan''': That's what I needed. 
'''1Fan''': Ok. [pauses] 
'''Muffled Fan''': You know, a little bit of planning if it's only gonna be so many days, you're only gonna spend this much money [inaudible] it's-it's really not hard to plan a trip, I've taken tons. 
color="#0033FF">'''Chris''': Yeah, but also, you know she does worry about me and I could be set up to be hurt, or turned into the police and arrested when I get there. 
'''Fan''': What would you have to do to be taken by the police? 
'''Chris''': Yeah, but also, uh, same thing happened before when I was about to go to [[Blanca]]. My mom didn't want me to go because it could have been a setup, like she would have been setting me up, like she would have been [[Pedofork|underaged]], and then right there I'd be turned into the police. 
'''Fan''': That's entrapment, Chris. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, but y'know, I can tell in my heart that Julie is 19. I mean, I'm sure that Max can vouch for her age. Because you know, even though she did send me her ID, her scanned ID as an image, her birthdate is blurred out. So it's hard to tell the year. 
'''Fan''': Besides Chris, have you ever seen ''[[Wikipedia:To Catch a Predator|To Catch a Predator]]?'' Whenever they do their sting operations, they always have their fake underage boy or girl, whatever, always tells the person multiple times that they are not of legal age, it's like "Oh yeah, you know I'm 13 right?" And the person doesn't care. Which is why they get caught with child pornography or whatever charges they get caught on. 
'''Chris''': Alright, well, she repeatedly told me, she repeatedly informed me she was 19. 
'''Fan''': So if it was in fact a sting operation of some kind, you would be charged with nothing. Because you were not told she was underage. Besides, all of us already know she actually is 19. 
'''Fan''': Mmm hm. 
'''Chris''': Alright. Yeah. Yeah. Wait a moment, I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back. 
'''High-pitched troll''': Anyone know how to do quadratic equations? 
'''Fan''': I haven't done those since I was in high school. I don't remember. 
'''Chris''': ''[Sound of Chris clumsily sitting back down at his computer and letting out a small sigh]'' I just went downstairs to see if I could bring my mom up here so she could talk to y'all but she's asleep right now. 
'''Max''': ''[Diabolical laughter]'' 
'''Fan''': What the? 
'''Chris''': Wait a minute, just a moment ago did I just hear Max, who quotes himself as being named Julie's brother, did he just give an evil laugh? 
'''Fan''': I think so. 
'''Fan''': Looks like it. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, so that just brings up some suspicion right there. I mean I'm just doing... you did not have to mute him to hear what he had to say! Oh, he just told me on Skype he's watching [[Family Guy]]. 
'''Fan''': Which episode? 
'''Chris''': He says "Mine... thing is on voice activated" Oh, it's the one... oh, I love that episode! It's the one where Meg sings. Becomes a pop star. Gets a makeover. 
'''High-pitched troll''': Oh, I remember that one! 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I have that episode downloaded on my [[PS3|Playstation 3]]. 
'''Fan''': Chris, now is probably the best time if you're gonna actually go and do this, to do it. I know your mom's asleep, but... 
'''Chris''': I cannot do it now, I have to go to my aunt Corina's funeral this afternoon. 
'''1Fan''': True. It's just kind of part of life. In a sense. 
'''Fan''': God is testing you on your 27th birthday, Chris. 
'''Chris''': ''[sigh]'' He's tested me before on the same situation as well. But yeah I guess I should talk to my mom better about that. You know tell her that I'll let her know that I have been assured numerously that it's not a setup. I mean even Max will back me up on that. 
'''1Fan''': Chris, what if she says no? 
'''Chris''': Really. Hmm. Really. Hmm. So what you're saying here is all the times I've received calls from trolls, telling me to F-off, or I'm a S-head, they've just been basically wanting me to prove myself and not out to hurt me or anything. 
'''Fan''': Did you receive any calls today or something? 
'''Chris''': Yeah. It's just that I received a call earlier, and that's where I learned Max found [[Sex tape|the video I sent to Julie of her own consent]], she asked me to send her a video, and then you see, he said it got uploaded to YouTube, so I assume that uh, I mean at first I was shocked but then realized that since her brother, uh, Max was a troll at himself at one point or another that he probably found it and uploaded it. 
'''Fan''': Um, Chris. 
'''Chris''': And also, on that note, the girl who called me to tell me about that, uh, accused Julie of being a troll herself on that note. 
'''Fan''': Was she? She can't be a troll. 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I know. I believed- I mean, I believe in Julie and I still believe in her that she is not a troll, and that she is a wonderful, sweet caring 19-year-old, who wrote me, who hand-wrote me a very nice letter, and sent it to me in the mail, and sent me her printed pictures that her friend took of her. 
'''Fan''': Yeah. Yeah. She wouldn't be interested in trolling. She's been trolled all her life by the Georgian government. Based on what she told me. 
'''Chris''': I'm sorry could you repeat that? 
'''Fan''': She doesn't have time to be a troll, she's been trolled all her life by the Georgian government. 
'''Chris''': The Georg- OH, the country of Georgia. Yeah, I did research on that when I was trying to find Molvanîa on a map. 
'''Screwhead''': It's weird, my books, my old books have Molvanîa on the maps. 
'''Fan''': You couldn't find it? 
'''Chris''': So wait a minute Screwhead, you're saying that you have a book, that has Molvanîa? 
'''Fan''': That's funny, I was told it was unrecognized. 
'''Screwhead''': I have old books, but maybe the Mexican government is to recognize a country. You know, different from the American government. 
'''Chris''': Say, Screwhead, can you uh, can you uh, darn the echo, but anyway, could you find on the internet, a map of Molvanîa and its neighboring countries? I mean because I can tell right now that it's been neighboring Georgia. From what I understand, from what Julie told me, and her other friend told me as well. 
'''Screwhead''': Chris, you know that Mexico's not a very developed country. It didn't have internet until a couple years ago. So I'm pretty sure that... 
'''Chris''': ''[Loudly interrupts]'' Yeah, I understand that, I understand, I also understand that Molvanîa's 50 miles radius. 
'''Fan''': So I don't think I can find it. The old books are long gone. We had to burn them because we had to heat our house with fire, and we had to burn them. 
'''Chris''': [[Chris and remorse|Oh, that's sad,]] but I'm talkin' 'bout, you know, I'm asking if you know where I can find a map like you had in your books on the internet. 
'''1Fan''': You would just have to look around, I would assume. 
'''Chris''': You know what, I did internet searches, but it's like I find a map of Molvanîa, the country, but I'm not finding a map of Molvanîa and its ''neighboring'' countries. 
'''Fan''': I'm so sorry Chris but I don't think I can find it, I don't think there's a scan or something of the book, it's like, a schoolbook or something and they change every year, it's, I don't think so, sorry. 
'''Chris''': I see. Um, but listen, Max is telling me that he is not a troll and he uh, ask y'all what they think, because he said that y'all don't seem to care. 
'''Fan''': Mmm. I dunno. 
'''Chris''': Oh, oh. He said tell them that he ''is'' a troll. I misread it. 
'''Fan''': Uh... 
'''Fan''': Chris, you said that some trolls came in here earlier. What did they tell you? 
'''Chris''': Clyde was a [client?] among that group. Whole buncha stuff. They got to me emotionally. So it's hard for me to remember the details. 
'''Fan''': Oh. I see. I'm sorry, Chris. You should enforce security on this channel. 
'''1Fan''': Did you get any calls from the trolls today? 
'''Chris''': Yeah but ayway. Just answer Max's question, he sent, you know, he is a troll, and what you think, because y'all don't seem to care what he's saying here. 
'''1Fan''': What's he gonna do? 
'''Fan''': We can't do anything. 
'''High-pitched Troll''': He's a bad boy. 
'''Fan''': He's a bad boy, but I don't think you can do anything about that. 
'''Chris''': I told them what you did, Max. About spirting away Julie. To headquarters. To your headquarters. 
'''1Fan''': Chris, like I said earlier this is them testing you. We really can't do much but give you our support. 
'''Fan''': Mmm hm. 
'''1Fan''': We can sit there and shout at the trolls all we want, but, in the end, this is up to you, man. ''You'' have to go out and do something. ''You've'' got to get her back. 
'''Fan''': This is the start of a new life for you. In about six hours. 
'''Chris''': Oh, he said you'd prefer if I can call it ''Miscreant'' Headquarters. ''[Chris gets confused]'' Oh, actually he says ''he'd'' prefer it if I called it Miscreant Headquarters. 
'''1Fan''': ''[Mock contempt]'' I don't care what they are. 
'''Fan''': You could Google it. It's like an organization, right? Maybe they have a web page or something 
'''Chris''': ''[General sighing noises]'' 
'''Fan''': Rascal is not interested. 
'''1Fan''': Rascal is more interested in things like soda. 
''[Laughter from the Trolls and Chris]'' 
'''Chris''': That's a little funny. I'm just not in the mood to laugh right now. 
'''1Fan''': Well, I mean, we don't blame you. It's kinda a serious situation you're in right now. 
'''Fan''': I think I found the website. Hold on a second. 
'''Chris''': Uh, don't worry about looking it. He told me to Google it, so I'm loading my web browser now. 
'''Fan''': It's ''[unintelligible]'' only. I don't know if you can find it, really. 
'''1Fan''': Chris, can I tell you a story? 
'''Chris''': Alright, once upon a time... 
'''1Fan''': Its not really a 'Once upon a time' kinda story. I meant to tell you this earlier, but I mean I got kinda cut off. 
'''Chris''': I understand, so, uh, what's the story? 
'''1Fan''': I was in a similar situation as you. Um, not as serious as this but still in the whole case of um, y'know, having conflicting interests between parents and my own personal interests. Um, basically what it ended up with was, I left my house. Um, I had just turned eighteen and I didn't feel that a rule that was set by my parents was too logical, in a sense. Its like you can't enforce home rule- like, parental rules on a child if he's not a child anymore. So I was told "don't come home." So I didn't. I stayed out of the house for almost a week. I survived off of twenty dollars, and stayed at a friend's house. Kept going to school and everything. Um, and one day my mom called me crying, apologizing for putting me through that. And since then she's had nothing but respect for me. Because she knows that if she were to do that again I could easily survive. And now you're in the same situation right now. Your mom is holding you back, she's holding you from getting what you want, getting what you need. And you really need to... you really need to break that. You need to cut that cord. And its gonna hurt at first, yeah. It's gonna hurt both of you. But once it's over with... 
'''Chris''': ''[sighs heavily]'' 
'''1Fan''': ...things will be much better, and you will both be so much happier, and you will have Julie. 
'''Chris''': I see. Yeah. Alright. Yeah I just put up, I just co-I just put up a link to the route myself, it's the miscreant page I just found. 
''[pause]'' 
'''Chris''': ''[sigh]'' 
'''Fan''': Found something? ''[pause]'' Oh...oh. 
'''Chris''': Oh 
'''F1''': Their leader is a cat 
'''F2''': hahaha 
'''Chris''': A cat? 
'''F2''': Yeah 
'''F1''': I (something) these guys seriously because their leader is a cat 
'''F2''': Yeah, their leader is a kitty. A fluffy kitty with a person (something) 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well this... You Know that's funny because uh... Yes I'm not seeing the cat on the uh what I'm having, but I'm reading both the link I copy and pasted from the skype window and the link the he posted, that max himself typed in and it's the same thing. and uh I'm not seeing the cat 
'''Chris''': Oh 
'''F2''': Yeah, that's what we're looking at 
'''Chris''': Oh, yeah I see that 
'''F3''': Looks like they're pretty organized, you know this troll 
'''F1''': Look at their code names 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm checking out their operations, let's see. Um. [begins to read from the site]Alright operations E, say. Operative Evan. Status alive and enjoying life. Go test the waters of the one known as chris chan notable accomplishments. Yeah uhh 
'''Chris''': Masturbating and Squirting 
'''F2''': Hmmm 
'''Chris''': Then operation J, that's Jason. Alive and having sex, Compile information on the one known as Chris Chan. hacking the emails. Then operation B. Blanca. Alive and smoking. test the vulnerability of the one known as Chris chan. Destroy the medallion. Operation P, Panda. Alive and at my side, discovered a sexual nature. Gained a free PSP. I sent her that from my own heart. It was a pink PSP that I had originally gotten it for Megan but then she dumped me and I just held on to it for a while and I uh sent it to her so... shoot 
'''F3''': Chris, are this true, did this really happen to you? 
'''Chris''': uh what? 
'''F3''': The things that they say they've done here, they're pretty awful you know 
'''Chris''': Uh yeah, Uh yeah some, yea most of which yeah, and then opera- operative L, uhh name lord, public name, uhh, name, say that, uhh name the lord and in practice he says the female, and then the public name the man in the pickle suit, status unknown know operatives, get-obtain sensitive documents of the one known as chris chan, and a notable accomplishment, getting nude pictures and a dvd. Known as operative L. I mean how can I see these at uhh on the website here that I'm looking at. The uh miscreants page that I uh, that the link is on, on the side here yeah I'm looking at that website. I just read you the four operations and the operative that they had 
'''F2''': hmmm (something) 
'''F2''': the cat with a person (something) in it 
'''F3''': It's a cute cat 
'''High Pitch Fan''': It's adorable 
'''Chris''': It's a cat, that's all I was going to say 
'''Chris''': Uh it's probably from a movie or something, or it could be a youtube video, or any generic gif 
'''Chris''': [''Typing''] hmm so anyway those of y'all who just saw this web pa- uh this website, d'y'all still feel that they're (burp) scuse me, d'y'all still feel that uh 
'''F1''': [''Interrupting'']That they're harmless? 
'''Chris''': d'y'all still feel, well yeah they're harmless for one thing but uh, basically if they're just testing me they want me to come out there and that they're not gonna do any harm to me 
'''F1''': from looking at their operations, what have they done that's really that serious, They've had, I mean they have all this information on you right, they could have done so much worse to you in the past and they still haven't done it, either they're afraid of you or they're trying to just test you, I'm going to go with just test you 
'''Chris''': Uhh yeah but yeah but y'all did see the Ed Page, 
Fans either say yes or no 
'''Chris''': That is pretty much the majority of the work there with those documents, and uh information 
'''F4''': I avoid it, 
'''F2''': Yeaahhh you got to forget about it 
'''F4''': I avoid it because ed is ''[Chris is heard over the top here with a loud AHHHHHHH]'' by ed shitheads 
'''F2''': what's done is done, you must move on 
'''Chris''': Yeah, I'm just saying they have done something, they done things with that information, I'm suppose you're right they could of done worse but you know the worse their doing is preventing me from getting a job because that ED page is practically the first thing now days that's looked up when you punch in my name in a google search or any related search, search... uh search sites 
''''Chris'': sigh, well I appreciate y'all's input so let me just see if I remember what I've learned, yeah, I should definitely, try to, let my, try to (something) let my mum know that I'm going to pick up Julie, that I should tell here that I should be back in like a certain amount of timer or uh days 
'''F1''': It shouldn't take you more than two days, it's true 
'''Chris''': Yeah that's depending, that's depending if I start in the morning, anyway yeah in addition to that I should definitely that I have her, that I have the continual monetary support. But I ah because you know I'm still going to need the money for the gas to and fro. And (something) expense and the wealth of money I could (something) 
'''F1''': Chris what you just need to worry about now is asserting yourself towards your mother, you really gotta put your foot down man 
''[F2 and F1 talk over each other for a bit]'' 
'''F1''': She's gotta respect you on your birthday, it's your special day man. 
'''Chris''': Yeah but it's also, but this yeah it's also my Aunt Corina's day because it's her funeral, so I gotta let that pass before it and get my emotions and let her get her emotions outta the way and then i can put my foot down. Hello Clyde. Yeah yeah, Hello to Clyde. 
'''F4''': oh wait Clyde's here 
'''F2''': Uh ohhh 
'''Clyde''': Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday Mr. Sonichu, happy birthday to you 
'''F2''': Ohhhhh dear 
'''Chris''': Oh well listen Clyde I've just been- I've waiting patiently and talking to these nice people here, but anyway I just wanted to hear from you that uh I come pick up Julie, I'm not gonna, I just wanted to hear from you that I'm not gonna get harmed or turned into the police or anything like that 
'''Clyde''': Of course not we're just gonna make sure that you never ever ever you know, uhh I've been drinking, anyway, never touch a woman because uh you know, you're not a man 
'''Chris''': uhh yeah but basically I'm allowed to pick up Julie over at you headquarters 
'''Clyde''': Sure if you can do that, I dunno if you can drive or anything, driving must be pretty hard for you 
'''Chris''': Yeah well I can, Yeah well as I have told these nice people uh yeah I'm gonna talk to my mother some more and put my foot down and uh you know make my own and hopefully I'll get uh I'll have the money on me for the gas that I need for the trip, and uh you know within the next few days I will come down to Cleveland and pick up Julie myself 
'''Clyde''': Well bring your love man, because love's like, love's like a bunch of stuff you know 
'''F5''': Clyde, Clyde why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? 
'''Clyde''': Why am I doing this? well uh yeah well uh because Chris is a terrible person, he's like lied to me and stuff 
'''F5''': He's not a terrible person, he's my hero 
'''Clyde''': Well you have a terrible hero, pick superman, superman's awesome 
'''Chris''': Yeah well but uh let me see if I can put it more simpler terms, as uh, compared to what all y'all nice people have described for me, Clyde you have you basically just want to test me for being a true person and that's why you're holding Julie captive in your headquarters 
'''Clyde''': She's not really captive, she's having the time of her life, we've given ever god damn loving you couldn't provide (evil laughter) 
'''Chris''': Well anyway you basically want me to test my love for Julie and uh so and uh you just want me to finally show that I'm a man and that I can stand up myself and do what I want like a man should and uh that;s basically it in a nutshell isn't it? 
'''Clyde''': Sure, that's perfect 
'''Chris''': Ok alright well listen I gotta go get something to eat and the I should rest up for the funeral so another time I'll come back into the mumble, but you know shortly after I will, shortly after the funeral I will be coming down to uh Cleveland and I will pick Julie up, and I will have her and me spend a little time together, maybe uh maybe over at max's house, and then I'll be bring her back here. My house 
'''Clyde''': Ok if you do make it I'll give you a box of chocolates, a box of chocolates 
'''Chris''': Uh you don't have, you don't have to give me anything, maybe just a handshake, a promise that you'll uh disband this organization and that uh you'll 
'''Clyde''': [''Interrupting'']Sure bro. 
'''Chris''': Ok, alright, ok, we'll- I'll talk to my mom later and put my foot down, because right now she's sleeping, and then I have the funeral to worry about; but after the funeral, I will. 
'''Clyde''': Alright bro, have fun. 
'''Chris''': Alright... yeah, ok, well, the majority of y'all take care and, you know, just mingle amongst yourselves for now. ''[Chris leaves]'' 
[Chat room erupts with everyone speaking over each other]

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 9.5|Mumble Chat 9.5]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 11|Mumble Chat 11]]|}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?uwwmmnll2ny Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Talk:Mumble 9.5

2010-11-04T21:52:40Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

Transcript =/= Summary.
I realize this is a long piece of audio, but we don't need two recaps --[[User:Megaman|''Super Fighting Robot Megaman!'' ]] [[Image:MegaManXRunning.gif]] 12:06, 27 July 2009 (CEST)
*I was about to say that :3. Seriously, let's get a real transcription going. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:17, 21 November 2009 (CET)

Put up the transcript up of the first 13 minutes of the chat. I'll do the rest some other time. God damn this recording was really shitty quality. Also I don't know the voices of any of the major players in the mumble chats so if someone could go through this one (and number 10 as well) and add names to my "Troll #". [[User:Big Fucking Whoopie|Big Fucking Whoopie]] 14:40, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Ok I've finished the transcript. It's late and I couldn't be fucked proof reading and re checking it but I think it's all good. <strike>I also deleted the summary as we don't really need it now</strike> edit: Disregard that, I suck cocks etc. [[User:Big Fucking Whoopie|Big Fucking Whoopie]] 18:39, 15 May 2010 (UTC)

Fixed the font tags so this matches mumbles 1-9. I'll do the same with 10 and 11 when I get the chance. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 14:52, 4 November 2010 (PDT)

Mumble 9.5

2010-11-04T21:51:18Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Transcript */ - Fixed fonts to match other Transcripts.

'''Mumble 9.5''' is the continuation of the [[Mumble 9|ninth]] of the [[Mumble 9]] chat involving [[Chris]].

==Summary==
[[Chris]] rejoins the [[Miscreants]] in chat. [[Clyde]] and the Miscreants again bombard Chris with accusations that he doesn't care about his [[Aunt Corina|Aunt Corina's]] death, and he's more sad that a funeral is ruining his birthday. The trolls again accuse Chris of [[List of Chris's games|wasting money on video games]] (with Clyde leveling the accusation that Chris and his family have spent more than $20,000 on games), and Chris offers little of substance in response.

Chris eventually storms out of the chat after being told he is afraid to go outside, and that leaving his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] for a change is the only way to get the Miscreants to leave him alone.

In one of the more famous Mumble moments, Chris admits that he may be "[[Autism|retarded]]" and that his mind doesn't think so quickly... making it obvious why he goes out of his way to mock "[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 6|slow-in-the-minds]]."

(00:00)
* The chat begins in the middle of a conversation between [[Clyde]] and [[Chris]].
* Clyde says Chris has improved nothing in his life.
(00:30)
* Chris says he has been thinking "very hard" about [[Wendy's|getting a job]], going to [[Julie]], and convincing [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] that Julie is real.
(01:00)
* Chris feels it is significant he is ready to spend "fifty to a hundred" dollars to go see Julie.
(02:00)
* Chris says the trolls do not realize how much stress he has because he must go to a funeral for his [[Aunt Corrina]] and that it is "happening on his birthday of all days."
* Clyde says Chris is more sad about his birthday than Aunt Corrina.
(02:30)
* Chris seems to be crying over his Aunt Corrina.
(03:00)
* Chris's blubbering suddenly improves and stops, indicating that it's likely bogus.
* Clyde tells trolls to let Chris cry.
(03:30)
* Chris says he is "possibly retarded," since his mind doesn't think so swift.
* Chris says he often doesn't even give thought to the actions he does.
(04:00)
* Hearing about the fire "made Chris so sad" and he "cried his heart out."
(05:00)
* Chris says love is like "standing on top of a mountain" and having "good wind" blow through your hair.
* People are to get to know each other through "pleasant conversation" and it is not all about the "bonus round."
(06:30)
* Chris says women should get to know men "[[gay|from the inside]]."
* Chris felt "true honest respect" from Julie, [[Blanca]], [[Sarah May]], [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]].
(08:00)
* Clyde says if he knew what true love was, Chris would know they were trolls. Chris says "trolls or not, I still care about them very much."
(08:30)
* Chris has got "some good memories" of those women.
(09:30)
* Chris claims he has learned from his mistakes and learned how to sort the "true from the false."
(10:30)
*Chris angrily responds to a question about Megan.
(11:00)
*Clyde asks whether Chris realizes why Megan left. After a pause, Chris says it is because he "got into her personal space" and "violated her drawing."
(12:00)
* Chris says he feels the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|sexy drawing]] and sexy websites are "appropriate" and says "the eyes are censored and you can't recognize Megan."
(13:30)
* The trolls insult Chris and tell him they haven't slandered him- they've only posted his words.
* Chris claims he has been misinterpreted and has gone through "so many revolutions and personal upgrades for the better."
(14:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants have estimated Chris has spent over [[list of Chris's games|$20,000 on video games in his life]].
(15:30)
* Chris blames the ED page for not getting a job.
(16:00)
* Clyde attacks Chris for misspending his tugboat. Chris says he spends his money by paying the bills, his rent, and credit cards.
(16:30)
* The trolls say there is no way Chris will ever support a family.
* Clyde accuses Chris of being $2000 behind in credit card debt.
(17:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants can't be stopped, and Chris stops answering.
(19:00)
* Chris says he goes outside every day, but changes the subject.
* Chris says [[Max]] has said to pass on the message that Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes.
(19:30)
* Chris says '''"most everything I tell you is the truth."'''
(20:00)
* Chris angrily yells that he did not have the money or support to go see Miyamoto.
(20:30)
* Chris says he went out with Bob to get [[McDonald's|breakfast]], since Bob likes the company.
* Chris reads comic strips in newspapers.
(21:00)
* Clyde says Bob wants someone intelligent to talk to, but all he has is Chris.
* The trolls say Chris is a bad son, and his parents have spent a lot of money on him.
(21:30)
* The trolls say Chris should make his own decisions and not just do everything Bob and Barb want.
(22:00)
* Chris says he is "more likely to stick to a routine."
* Clyde says Chris will just keep going downhill.
* Chris's only response is to tell the trolls to "shut up," and he leaves the chat.
* The trolls discuss the next chance to troll Chris and what BlueSpike should do next.

==Transcript==

{{quote|Ahhh, Jesus Christ.|Chris, Once again showing us his devout Christian ways}}

'''Clyde''': We've given you so many chances to improve yourself,I've tried to help you but you never listen. 
'''Chris''': Clyde, could you repeat the question, I didn't have my headphones on? 
'''Clyde''': I've been trying to help you this entire time, but I've grown tired of you doing nothing. 
'''Chris''': I have been doing something 
'''Clyde''': What have you done? 
'''Chris''': I have been making plans, I have been thinking very hard about getting a job and about going to Julie and convincing my family that she is, that she is a real woman. [''sigh'']I'm probably, I'm not lying, spending about $50-100 of my own money just to try, just to try go up and visit her. 
'''Clyde''': How much money? 
'''Chris''': 50 to 100. 
'''Clyde''': That's not a lot. [''inaudible''] That's chump change in today's society. A long time ago one of our former, former [''inaudible''] Vivian [''inaudible''] but anywayed to help you but you didn't listen. 
'''Chris''': Well, look, I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry about, look,I'm sorry about a lot of my past mistakes about not listening to everyone ok, but I've been under a lot of [[stress]]. 
'''Clyde''': What is this stress? You always cite stress. 
'''Chris''': Stress STRESS, Stress of the mean people that ha has give me such bad mark, uh, that have made a bad name and such. 
'''Troll 1''': Chris you don't know what stress is, you don't have a job you don't go. 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] I have a lot of stress in my life, my Aunt Corina just died and I have to go to her funeral and I'm going to be very sad that day and the funeral is happening on my birthday of all days. 
'''Clyde''': Shouldn't you be more sad about her than your birthday? 
'''Chris''': I am very upset about my Aunt Corina, she was a very sweet woman 
'''Clyde''': But you seem to be complain about it being on your birthday 
'''Chris''': Look, stop talking about that, OK? I love my [''Clyde butts in with a half formed sentence''] I feel sympathy for my Aunt Corina. She smoked and when she went to the hospital she died at age seventy-five, her her, her [''inaudible''] deteriorated her left lung and her liver and her brain. 
[''both Clyde and Chris go to speak''] 
'''Clyde''': Go ahead, sure, why not 
'''Chris''': And they kept her alive as long as they could, they could, till she breathed... her last breath. 
[''Chris pulls out an Academy-Award-winning performance of tears''] 
'''Chris''': [''between sobs and with a heavy heart''] We knew that she was dying [''Chris is too emotional here to make out what he is saying''] and that we were able to say we loved her one last time, over the phone. [''sob''] 
'''Clyde''': Well, they did their best. 
[''Trolls mock and imitate Chris''] 
'''Clyde''': Silence, let him cry, let him cry. [''inaudible''] but this does not excuse for all your other past actions. 
[''Chris has made a miraculous mental recovery from his emotional state''] 
'''Chris''': [''loud sigh''] Look I'm unfit, I'm possibly [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], okay my mind doesn't think so swift. I- I- uh, I'm likely even to make mistakes on the fly without realizing it. Sometimes I don't even give thought to something I've said [''inaudible''] but I can give a lot of before when I move from pe- uh, move from, uh, move from [[Panda]] to [[Julie]], because I though- I thought she had died in that fire. I was I uh my heart was petra uh about that possibility after I about that fire in Austra- uh post, It made me so sad. [''sobs creep back into Chris's voice''] 
'''Clyde''': Now this I can't believe. I believe your Aunt Corina and I'm sorry for your loss but about Panda, NO! 
'''Chris''': I cried my heart out. 
'''Clyde''': And then you just moved on, just like that. 
'''Chris''': NO, I uh, no I did not move on just like that. 
'''Clyde''': But you claimed she was your love your love. You don't know what love feels like Chris. 
'''Chris''': I do know what love feels like. 
'''Clyde''': What does it feel like then chris? Can you describe it? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's... uh [''sigh''] it's indescribable, it's a priceless feeling, it's like you know you feel most elated, it's like your standing on top of a mountain with the wind blowing through your hair and it's a good wind. It's just uh love feels so good. True love feels so good especially when it, uh, comes between two people who have known each other for a long while and have got to know each other through pleasant conversation. And uh you know the bonus rounds are there too I mean I'll admit that but what I enjoy most are the pleasant conversations and learning about the kind sweet uh kind sweet women that they are [''sigh''] and that they care me and respect me very much and it just makes me feel so much better to know that I'm respected by the women. Because I felt, because it's like I don't get a lot of respect from people, from bad people like y'all being mean like right now. And this is just [''tears welling and emotion rising''] is making me want to cry. 
'''Clyde''': You said the women. are you talking about a singular person or all women? 
[''once again, Chris has composed himself amazingly well''] 
'''Chris''': No, no I said women, women. 
'''Clyde''': You mean you want to be respected by everyone? All the women. You want to love them all? 
'''Chris''': No 
'''Clyde''': Or is it down to one person? 
'''Chris''': No, uh, wait. Now you're twisting my words around 
'''Clyde''': I'm just saying whatever you say. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look I could uh, its a, look when I talk about the respect from a woman I'm talking about [[honest]] respect like after she's got to know me from the inside like, uh, most women should get to know their man, before they go have a relationship with them or or whatever. And if [[Julie]] just, you know between [[Blanca]] and [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]], [[Sarah May]] and Julie. I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them. And there's noth- you know uh you know I'm sorry to have forgot to have mentioned Sarah May when I mentioned Julie [''inaudible''] when I was asked a question about naming friends. I'll admit I'll admit I was wrong. I was wrong I was wrong and I thank Julie very I mean Sarah Mayver, damn it, I did it again. I got mixed up. You, Y'all mixed it up when you mixed up my emotions because I'm upset all this. Anyways anyways Aunt then got to the hospital and I felt so sorry for- 
'''Clyde''': No need, no need for lies to keep up the false stories. They are all trolls. They are all trolls. Chris have I not got this through your head. Panda is sleeping right now if you could be more quiet. Sarah May is perfectly fine. Blanca, Blanca well I don't know where she's off to, the other two people behind Blanca I don't know and Sarah Jackson is still alive. They are all trolls, Chris. It's because you don't know what true love is. 
'''Chris''': I know what true love is. 
'''Clyde''': If you knew what true love was, then you would realize that they were trolls. 
'''Troll 7''': Yep. 
'''Chris''': Look, trolls, look, trollers or not I still cared about them very much. 
'''Clyde''': What? 
'''Chris''': Trollers or not, I still cared about them very much. 
'''Troll 3''': you're just bullshitting 
'''Chris''': And I- and I- I got so- I got so many good memories of them. Some bad sure and some even bad but good 
'''Female troll''': Chris all those memories are false. 
'''Troll 2''': You deluded pig. 
[''two people speak at once''] 
'''Troll 1''': Every scenario, all us. 
'''Clyde''': We were behind it all. 
'''Chris''': look I know y'all, I know y'all are feeding me lies right now 
[''huge reaction to this, everyone talks over each other''] 
'''Clyde''': You still believe that they were not trolling, this is the thing. Really? Even after Blanca destroyed your medallion, after Panda sudden mysteriously disappeared when she doesn't even live in that part of Australia, well, not any more she doesn't, but anyway. You still believe it. 
'''Troll 4''': You are stupid, Chris. You do not learn from your mistakes. 
'''Chris''': Look [''sigh''] I do learn from my- I have learnt from my mistakes. 
[''several people speak''] 
'''Chris''': I have learnt to take so many bullets and lies that were aimed directly at me, I learnt to take them like uh, like [''inaudible''] in the wind. Just let them fly by. let them fly by. I have learnt to sort the truth from the false. Panada true, definite true, definitely comes from the woman, from the people themselves. 
'''Clyde''': Why would you see through that one [''inaudible''] Julie after Sarah May and Panda. Urgh, I'm disgusted by that. But we'll make sure she never meets you. 
'''Troll 5''': Anyway 
'''Chris''': Look, y'all, are just, look y'all are just trying to make me feel bad because I have- because I have been delayed- because I was delayed in drawing comics as often as I should be 
[''eruption of sarcastic "oh yeah"s''] 
'''Troll 2''': You idiot, this isn't about the comics 
'''Troll 6''': How's [[Megan]] by the way? 
'''Chris''': I DON'T KNOW, I haven't seen her in a long time. 
'''Troll 6''': I wonder why 
'''Clyde''': Silence, silence, OK, I want to ask you one last thing, well not one last thing but a useful thing. Why do you think Megan left you? Can you think why now? I think I've asked you this before. 
'''Chris''': I can only think because I got too much in her personal space and I violate her with [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|the drawing]]. 
'''Clyde''': That was probably your only chance for true happiness and you screwed that up, and you're still doing it time and time again. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, that drawing's fucked up, yo. 
'''Clyde''': And you still manage to post it up on your website. Why? 
'''Chris''': I don't... [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': Clyde's correct, Chris. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's a sexy drawing and it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|a sexy website]] and I thought it was appropriate. 
[''several people respond''] 
'''Chris''': Besides, in the drawing the eyes are censored out, it's not like you can recognize the woman. 
'''Clyde''': [[Censorship]] does nothing once you've admitted it, Chris. 
[''trolls agree with Clyde's sentiment''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': And besides, we thought that was your [[sister]] for the longest time. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] [''whispering''] Jesus, Jesus. 
'''Troll 8''': I thought that was a better theory, actually. 
'''Chris''': Ahhh Jesus Christ. 
'''Troll 6''': Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, Chris? 
'''Chris''': Maybe not but y'all didn't have to twist my words round on everything make up all these dang stupid false slanderous theories and whatnot. 
'''Troll 7''': Dude, yo, that's bullshit. 
[''trolls disagree with Chris's sentiment''] 
'''Troll 1''': We're just going off what you've told us. 
'''Troll 8''': Exactly. 
'''Clyde''': [Unclear] What did you expect would happen? 
'''Troll 2''': You lowlife. I hope you bleed in slanderous Hell. 
'''Troll 1''': We've never slandered anyone. We just take what you've said and post it for people's interpretations. 
'''Chris''': That's my point, you've misinterpreted me. 
'''Clyde''': Well, you're going to have to correct yourself one day, you have to [''inaudible'']. 
'''Chris''': I have been correcting myself, every day from the lessons I've learned and the mistakes I've realised I've made. 
'''Troll 8''': Really? 
'''Chris''': I've gone through so many self-revelations and uh,and uh,and personal upgrades for the better. 
'''Troll 7''': Like yo [[PSP]. 
[''trolls laugh''] 
'''Chris''': Forget about the friggin' games systems. 
'''Clyde''': Surprising from a man who spends over a thousand dollars on it. You see chris you have a problem. You need to stop buying video games, you need to sell them all. They're no good, they're not helping you 
'''Troll 1''': It's only when you lose everything that you're free to do anything. 
'''Troll 8''': The man speaks the truth. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Clyde''': You have, We have estimated you have over twenty thousand U.S. dollars worth of video games, all at some points of your life. Why would you spend so much? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well I started from childhood, I was brought up, I was brought up with video games. I started with a Commodore 64, when it was brand new. Just saying. 
'''Troll''': Chris, that is not a valid excuse. 
'''Chris''': It's the truth. 
'''Troll''': That doesn't make it valid. 
'''Clyde''': Chris let me ask you this. How many of the games that you've owned in your lifetime have you actually completed? 
'''Chris''': I have beaten the vast majority of them. I have beat most every [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game I own. 
'''Clyde''': If you have that much free time on your hands, maybe you should get a job. 
'''Chris''': Hey you know what, for one thing I would get a job, but you know they would punch my name on the Internet, they would find that damn ED page and then- 
[''trolls all speak''] 
'''Clyde''': OK OK, yes you're right, you're right. We have slandered you, well we haven't slandered you. It's only the truth, the truth. I had to say "slandered" because you say that so much, but anyay. Ok lets say you just did have your own eight hundred dollar uhh, whatever you call it, "[[tugboat]]", which is a stupid name. It's a government check. You have your eight hundred dollars to spend and how do you spend that? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I got uh, I pay my, I pay my, I pay my family's bills, I give them a monthly rent, I pay my credit card bills 
'''Clyde''': But then you still [''inaudible'']. 
'''Troll 1''': You're right, Chris probably could not get a job but he can not also support himself on his tugboat. So [''loud typing noise''] he can't support his family anyway. Too bad. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, I can hear that typing, what's with that? 
'''Clyde''': I know that you've revealed that to date you have credit card debts, you're already two thousand dollars behind. How do you expect to raise a family? How do you expect to help Julie? 
'''Chris''': Uhh... [''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 5''': Ignoring the question, I see. 
'''Chris''': No. 
'''Clyde''': Look, if you go onto your [[YouTube]], beg your fans to bring down us [[the Miscreants]], but you know, your combined powers can not stop us. Nothing can stop us. 
'''Troll 8''': Every time we get knocked down we'll get right back up again. 
'''Troll 10''': And you'll never keep us down. 
'''Troll 11''': And everything that you have typed is through no one's fault but your own. You have, You have to reap what you have sown, Chris. 
'''Troll 1''': the best thing you can do is you know, go back out into the real world with your[[sign]], you know. Wouldn't that be just like old days? You wouldn't have the Internet trolls all over you. You just go outside 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
[''rapid fire error noise''] 
[''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 1''': What are you, afraid of the sun? 
[''trolls all talk at once''] 
'''Chris''': I am not, I am not afraid 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] then why have you not, you know, uhhh I don't know. When's the last time you've been outside chris? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I've been outside, I go outside every day. 
[''Clyde says something, phone ringing''] 
'''Chris''': I enjoy the air, anyway look, [[Max]] wants me to tell you that uhh, Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes 
''Troll'': (unclear) 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] I mean, "enjoy the air"? I doubt it. I honestly think you're lying, Chris, again? 
[''more load typing''] 
'''Chris''': I am not lying to you! Ev- most everything I tell you is the truth and if I make uh I if I make a certain, if I say the wrong things its because I didn't know better at the time. 
'''Clyde''': What do you mean you don't know better? You don't know what the truth and what the uh, false is? 
'''Troll 5''': You can't tell right from wrong? 
'''Troll 8''': You lied to everyone when you said you were going to [''inaudible''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Because they, because, because they were, because they were big-time theories and my families wouldn't support me, I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO [[Miyamoto Saga|MAKE A TRIP]] 
'''Troll 8''': So why lie to us? 
'''Troll 12''': My, my, aren't we a suffering Joe? 
'''Troll 8''': Stuttering Stanley, stuttering Stanley. 
'''Clyde''': OK, we don't need stupid insults, we need real insults, you know. I mean chris, again, last time you've been outside. Detail it for us. Don't just say you just went out for air, that's a lie. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I went out with [[Bob|my father]] this morning for one thing, to go get, to go get breakfast. 
'''Clyde''': Where? I'd like to know. 
'''Chris''': And plus, and plus, plus he likes the company, he takes the newspaer with him. I read the comics and he reads evry- uh he reads the rest. 
'''Troll 7''': [''laughs''] comics 
'''Clyde''': You know I feel kind of bad for your father. All he wants is someone you know, intelligent to talk with but all he has is you. 
'''Chris''': He has [[Barb|my mother too]]. 
'''Clyde''': Well that to but someone of a male cameraderie, someone who can [''inaudible'']. You're not a very good son I take it> 
'''Chris''': I AM A GOOD SON and they have raised me very hard and they have spent a lot of money on me and I love them very much and appreciate them very much for that. 
'''Troll 13''': Almost too much. You seem to value their input more than you actually should. You are 26 years old, you are technically an adult but uhh- 
'''Chris''': Yeah but, it's not like, it's not like uhh. Look I have emotions and feelings and I uh I'm I'm more likely to [[Autism|stick to a routine]] and in order for me to make a big change I had to end up giving it a lot of thought first. 
'''Clyde''': Look Chris, this is the sad sad truth. You are going to grow up and die alone. I'm sorry to tell you this. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look leave me, just just shut up and leave me alone, leave me alone. 
'''Clyde''': We tried to help y- 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Leave my [[Love Quest|love life]] alone. 
'''Clyde''': Whatever. 
[''Chris seems to be reduced to tears and leaves, trolls all speak''] 

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 9|Mumble Chat 9]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|}}

==Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d1igtymai3y Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 7

2010-11-04T19:28:31Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: In ur CWCki, killin ur redlinx with fire.

'''Mumble 7''' is the seventh of the [[Mumble]] chats involving [[Chris]], held on 13 [[February 2009]].

Appears to be the genesis for the "Power" videos in which Chris attempts and fails to prove his [[I AM STRONG|strength]] and [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge For Clyde|skill]], though these would not materialize for several months.

==Summary==

* A fan talks to Chris about putting naked posters of girls and pictures of men up in his room up to find out if his friend was a [[homo]] as Chris suggested. He tells Chris that his girlfriend dumped him over the posters and his friend ignored all of them. Chris sees nothing wrong with his advice until Julie tells him that she wouldn't like that. Chris recommends sending an anonymous letter explaining the situation and utterly fails to apologize or show concern.
* Fans point out that Chris shouldn't have to show and prove that he is straight.
* Chris cuts a fan off to let Julie ask a question involving [[pedofork|shota]].
* Fans ask Chris to turn his radio down.
* Chris uses Wal-Mart printer paper & RSVP ballpoint pen to draw, and a 50-pack of Crayola markers to color. Refuses to use color pencils or Photoshop to color, saying he prefers the markers.
* Chris talks about Omicron's redone version of [[Sonichu]], accusing him of plagiarism. Says that the difference between what Omicron is doing and what he is doing is that Sonichu is his. Agrees to let Omicron continue if he credits Chris with the copyright.
* '''Julie is convincing Chris to make videos proving to Clyde how strong he is.''' Chris feels that the [[Chris Destroys His Vibrator|dildo breaking video]] proved this. Fans say that Chris's dildo comes apart naturally for cleaning.
* '''A fan recommends making a video showing off his fighting moves to scare Clyde.'''
* Chris is asked why he would use a dildo in proving that he is straight. Chris says that he is straight for crushing it, fans call him a [[homo]] for keeping it.
* Chris [[lie|denies]] [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3|using the dildo]], and claims that it's now broken. Fan says it could easily be reassembled. Chris is adamant that it was glued and that it took a lot of strength to pull it apart.
* When asked by Julie, '''Chris admits using super-shears from Cutco to break the dildo glue, claiming to use a lot of strength in the process'''.
* Fans discuss [[SheCameForCWC.jpg]]. Chris insists that it was drawn in protest of [[ED]]. He says it was anonymous, as [[fail|most women have long brown hair and her eyes were censored]].
* Insists that [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:AngelicainGod%27sEyes.JPG the Rule 34 of Angelica Rosechu] is masturbating and enjoying it, and is using her hand to do it.
* Chris thinks Billy Mays is on Home Improvement.
* Chris isn't doing anything on Valentine's Day, as Julie is not there yet.
* Chris discusses the the No-Redheads policy in his [[Love Quest]]. Says that redheads don't attract him unless they are not natural redheads. No piercings or tattoos allowed.
* Chris is OK with blue hair.
* Does a terrible Marge Simpson impersonation.
* Chris impersonates Comic Book Guy and Donald Duck.
* A fan presents the possibility that AIDS was sent by God to kill the [[homos]].
* [[Chris and Religion|Premarital sex being forbidden in Christianity]] is discussed. Chris fumbles for an explanation.
* '''A fan pretending to be black says he believes the government made AIDS to get rid of black people. Chris says that that's the kind of thing a black guy would say'''.
* Premarital sex comes up again. Chris compares it to using porn to practice and learn skills for later.
* The fake black fan calls Chris on his comment from earlier about black guys and AIDS. He makes the excuse that someone else said it first.
* Questions on Sonichu start. Sonichu doesn't wear clothes because it's a comic. Chris isn't sure how [[Blake]] sounds. He might sound black, he might sound like Shadow the Hedgehog.
* The fake black fan asks why the bad guy has to be black, also mentioning [[Silvana]]. Chris says that he doesn't have to be.
* Chris gets annoyed about the pronunciation of [[Rosechu]] as popularized by the Old Narrator of the [[Audiobooks]].
* '''Chris doesn't disagree that the [[Audiobooks]] made Sonichu more popular that he ever did'''.
* He doesn't mind fan-fics that don't portray Sonichu in a bad light.
* The audio goes low in the main chat and a fan has a private, unrelated conversation for a few minutes.
* Audio comes back as Chris is admitting that the [[B-Manajerk]] was black in real life.
* Chris doesn't watch the news, so doesn't have an opinion on [[Barack Obama|Obama]]. He voted for him because he saw a documentary where he saw more of himself in Obama, namely that he was an outcast at one point.
* A fan says that you should vote based on politics, not personality. Chris says that he is a moderate.
* Chris doesn't know what the financial bailout is. He says that he drew the [[Sonichu 8#The Elevator Gags|racist picture]] of Obama based on his father's joke, before he saw the documentaries that made him vote.
* Chris will not agree or disagree with interracial dating/marriage. He would want a white woman, but he would be [[gal pals|friends]] with others.
* He'd marry an Asian.
* It's not yet known if Silvana will be a good guy or if she will lose her [[pickle|dick]].
* '''Chris doesn't know what he wanted to be when he was younger, he's just making it up as he goes along'''.
* '''Chris is keeping the name changes in the comics for legal reasons'''.
* A fan suggests Slaweel cursing Rosechu to have a dick. Chris gets upset before saying that he'll think about it. The fans think it's a great idea. One considers a talking penis for Rosechu. Chris says it's a stupid idea.
* Another fan asks about Chris being sacked from Wendy's. He denies scaring the child with his Donald Duck impersonation, saying that he didn't make him cry.
* Chris might release his DVD one day.
* A fan says that Chris has influenced underground rappers such as Immortal Technique, who has sampled him.
* Chris takes requests. Impersonates MC Hammer, Dr Nick Riviera, Peter from [[Family Guy]], Mario and Sonic, butchering them all and tainting our childhood memories.
* More Sonichu questions. '''Chris won't upload [[Zapina]] [[Rule 34]] because she is underage and Chris is worried about legal ramifications'''. When he is reassured that this would be legal, he says he would consider it. He will also consider Sonichu-Rosechu anal sex. Rosechu would not clean the [[pickle]] with her mouth, she would clean it off with a washcloth. He would not sell the the washcloth on EBay.
* Chris calls a stop to the potty humor displayed throughout the Sonichu questions.
* '''Chris denies that [[Yawning Squirtle]] is a character'''.
* Fans ask for a joke. He recites a dreadful rhyme about Videogame consoles. He then tells his awful [[Christian's sex joke|sex joke]].
* Fans start to tell racist jokes about [[niggos|black people]] and Mexicans. Chris calls for a stop to this.
* A fan says that his friend [[mass debating|masturbated]] to the [[rule 34|adult section of Sonichu]] and is now worried that his friend is a [[homo]], as they were drawn by a man. '''Chris says that this is what he intended it for''', and they are drawings of women, so his friend is straight. He doesn't masturbate to his own drawings.
* Chris reassures a fan that [[Mass Debating|masturbating]] in the same room as another man isn't gay as long as both men are thinking of women, but he would not do this.
* Chris offers no comment as to what constitutes adultery.
* Chris says that he is patriotic. Asked to sing the national anthem, he instead mangles a few lines of "My Country, 'Tis of Thee". He then tells a 'patriotic' joke that is insensitive to Mexicans. [[Chris and Hypocrisy|The fans call him on his "no more racist jokes" statement from earlier]].
* Chris does a poor impersonation of Mr T.
* Chris says that if you are married, sleeping with someone else isn't cheating if you have consent from your spouse.
* Chris gives more advice on homos and recommends Axe body spray for attracting girls.
* Chris has not met any celebrities, only local DJs.
* Does impersonations of Homer Simpson and Bender. The two sound identical.
* Chris gives dating advice: Stay calm, polite, friendly and don't let your nerves get the best of you. Say "Hello, how are you" and talk about yourself. '''[[Barbara|His mom]] told him that standing around with a sign makes him look retarded. A female fan cracks up laughing and can't stop'''.
* "Those who can't, teach"
* Chris says he has never even been on a date. Rejects dating suggestions from fans.
* '''Chris was close with Sarah "[[PandaHalo]]" McKenzie, but hasn't heard from her in over two weeks. He heard about the fires and doesn't know if she's still alive. When a fan adds that 108 people were killed in the fires, Chris responds to the entire ordeal with [[Chris and death|"It's OK though, at least I have a good woman who's willing to be by my side at this point"]]'''.
* When pushed, he says he feels remorse for the the victims of the fires and is concerned that [[Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda]] is dead.
* He asserts that he didn't abandon Sarah for [[Julie]].
* '''A fan says that if [[PandaHalo|Sarah]] isn't alive, Chris should take solace that her perfectly barbecued remains fed the survivors. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|SHUT UP!!!]]'''
* Chris says that he cares about Sarah and Julie equally and wouldn't dump Julie as a friend. A fan asks what he will do to the survivors who ate Sarah. Chris replies with [[Chris and Anger|"SHUT UP!!!"]] and demands that he be booted.
* Fans reassure Chris that Sarah is probably OK.
* Chris does abominable impersonations of Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks and Hank Hill. '''He sings "Don't Trust Them New [[Niggos|Niggas]] Over There"'''. He also impersonates Meowth and sings the Team Rocket song.
* [[Clyde]] enters. Chris refuses to answer questions and leaves.

==Transcript==
===Chris proves he is straight===
'''Guy:''' Chris! 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all! ''[echoes]'' 
'''Guy:''' I'll be damned. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:''' Hey y'all. 
'''Fan:''' Uh, Chris-[gets cut off by another guy] 
'''Chris:''' Uh you know, can't com- it's uh, can't complain. 
'''Other Guy:''' How's construction of the site? 
'''Fan:''' it is so Chris 
'''Chris:''' Yeah? 
'''Fan:''' Well I...I need to ask you something. 
'''Chris:''' Yup? 
'''Fan:''' Uh... I put those posters, of the... Playboy and everything in my room, and uh, one of my girlfriends saw it, and she got mad at me for looking at other w-... other girls, and she broke up with me. 
'''Chris:''' Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. It could- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, she called me a pervert. I-I don't understand this. 
'''Chris:''' Did you... did you ex- did you try to explain to her about situation between you and that guy? 
'''Fan:''' I... I did, and I don't think she understood. 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... well, you should try, you should, uh, s-... try, uh, you should try wr-, you should tr-, uh, do you know her email address? 
[pause] 
'''Chris:''' So, uh- 
'''Fan:''' A-also, wait... also, uh, the friend, I was talking about, he, uh, lives with us, and [typing noises] he, uh, he went into my room, and didn't even notice the posters. He just s-sat in the middle, and he didn't s...see any uh, part of the room. 
'''Chris:''' Huh. Hmm. 
'''Fan:''' So, uh... so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my girlfriend broke up with me, called me a pervert, said that I shouldn't be looking at other girls, I mean... I don't know what to do now. 
'''Chris:''' Well listen, uh, answer my question, do you have her email address? 
'''Fan:''' Umm... yeah, but she won't... she won't answer me anymore. 
'''Chris:''' Hm... ok, hmm. Here's what you can do, uh... Do you know your girlfriend's... any of your girlfriend's gal-pals? 
'''Fan:''' No. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm... well, you should try to.. like wr- you should write out... hmm... hmm... here's an idea. S- Write a letter to her and send it via smail mai-, via snail mail, but don't write the return address. On it. 
'''Fan:''' What should I write? 
'''Chris:''' Just like, you know, like, they, you know, this is... you know, this is... you, uh, you put your name there, and you, it's, and then you would basically explain the situation between you and that guy, and that's why you had the posters up, well that's why you put the posters up. 
'''Fan:''' I don't understand what was the point of the posters in the first place? 
'''Chris:''' ''[sigh]'' it's... ''[sigh]'' if he looks at... if he, if he is very interested, if he is, if he was straight, he would uh, look at the women. Very much. 
'''Fan:''' But he didn't even notice them. He didn't notice any of the posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, I guess he is a homo. 
'''Fan:''' W...well, um, he wasn't looking at anything, not even the guy posters. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Hmm... He's not blind, surely. 
'''Fan:''' So, like, what is he, is he like, uh...I don't know. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I don't know either, man. But, you know at the moment I would suggest you, uh, write t- write the letter to your girlfriend, send the mail, don't write your return address on the envelope, and, uh, mail it to her. 
'''Fan:''' Also my mom saw the posters and she got offended, she's like really religous and stuff - she said that uh, lust is a sin or some shit. Oh, like she said, she's like all against the, you know, Playboy in my room. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Well, apparently your mom hasn't been [beeps] didn't have that open minded that time. So, give her time to recover, she'll uh, she might, she might open up. 
'''Fan:'''Yeah, I don't think that was a good idea though, I mean, why did you suggest it? 
'''Chris:''' I was trying to see if he, I was trying to s-help you figure out if your uh, if your friend was a homo or not. 
'''Fan:''' I know, but, uh, do you have Playboy posters in your room? 
'''Chris:''' [unclear] I'm very forward. 
'''Chris:''' I have uh, poster of some, of uh, I have a poster in my room of uh, some uh, naked girls I got from adamandeve.com as a bonus. 
'''Fan:''' Then, nobody says anything about it? 
'''Chris:''' ''[clears throat]'' Well, I didn't really have too many oppor-, too many people in my room. So, it's kind of like in a hard to notice place. 
'''Fan:''' Um, wondering, um, If you showed anyone, wouldn't they be offended? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe, maybe not, it just depends on their point of view. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I wouldn't want the same thing that happened to me to happen to you. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. I hear you there. Uh, just to so just sound clear... Julie? 
'''Julie:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' Julie, are you there? 
'''Julie:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Ok, uh, would you be offended if you saw such a poster in my room? 
'''Julie:''' ''[breaks up]'' 
'''Chris:''' Uh, What will, what was that? 
'''Julie''' Yes I would, kind of. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well that's no problem, I can take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, see that's what I'm talking about, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' That's why I asked Julie right now, because I respect her. So, because she said that she would, I will take it down. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I've been thinking, um... 
'''Julie:''' Do you have... [unclear] Chris, I don't think you should look at other woman.[sic] In my opinion. 
'''Chris:''' I see, Julie. Well that's fine. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I...I respect that. 
'''Fan:''' She might get jealous, I mean, that's what happened to my...my girlfriend. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, that's fine Julie, I respect you, I respect that. Just- 
'''Julie:''' Hey guys, do you have a question? If he's done? Uh- 
'''Fan:''' Oh, uh, one more thing, um, I've been thinking, uh, I don't really think you need, you know, posters and stuff like, to prove you're straight, I mean, if you're straight, that's all there is to it, am I right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' I think you're right. 
'''Fan:''' I...I mean, you shouldn't have to prove that you're straight. 
'''Julie:''' You're right. 
'''Other Guy:''' [line breaks temporarily] -You should not have to reassure us, though. You should just be knowing it, and nothing that anybody says, you get very, uh... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, it's ve-ah-very-but you see, I have like, I have that [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon poster]] in my room, it's just, so that I can, uh, for in case I have any-for in case I have any random thoughts, on account really, to tempt me. 
''[unintelligible mix of chatter from most participants trying to get their word in]'' 
'''Other Guy:''' I-I mean, even if they're random thoughts, even if they're random thoughts, if you know you're ''positive'' about it, you shouldn't have to look at anything to make sure. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, usually. 
'''Guy:''' Okay. Uh, moving on from all this homosexuality, uh, I have one question, uh, -[gets cut off by Chris in the background]- ...never mind, [fat douchebag?] 
'''Chris:''' Hey, ah, let Julie ask a question, let Julie ask her question. 

===7:08 Julie asks about shotacon===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, I was watching you on the Internet yesterday and, what's a shotacon?[slightly cut off] 
'''Chris:''' ...I'm sorry, uh-y, I'm sorry, you got cut off, what was that? 
'''Julie:''' What's a sho-[cuts off again]- 
'''Chris:''' ...What's a...''short''? 
'''Julie:''' Shot-[cuts off third time, pretty obvious she's saying ''shota'']- 
'''Fan:''' Dude, shota. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, shota. 
'''Chris:''' Ssshhhh...shota? 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, S-H-O-A-T-A [sic]. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, it's a word he found online. 
'''Other Guy:''' Yeah, [baby?], yeah. 
'''Chris:''' I never heard of that word. 
'''Other Guy:''' Hmm. 
'''Chris:''' I dunno, if you want to look it up, you can probably find out on an online dictionary... 
''[pause, and a weary sigh from someone other than Chris]'' 
'''Chris:''' I'll-I'll take a look. Hang on. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I know some Japanese and I think I've heard that somewhere, like in a magazine or something. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, it's some of that Japanese shit. 
'''Chris:''' Hmm. Probably is. Three moments, I'll look it up. 
'''Julie:''' Okay! 
''[pause, Chris's radio is audible]'' 
'''Chris:''' ...Whoops, that was the wrong one. The wrong bookmark. 
'''Fan:''' S-H-O-T-A. 
'''Chris:''' I know, I just get the wrong bookmark for...place I wi-for like...dictionary-type website that I have. 
''[pause, Chris's keyboard taps are audible]'' 
'''Guy:''' Uhhh...Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, now that Julie's done with her question, I also had one. 
'''Fan:''' He has to find what that means first. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, ''I'm sorry''. 
'''Chris:''' Shit, ah shit, I've just found it on Wikipedia. It's, uh, it's a ma-it's a Japanese name. It's a name of a person. In Japan. 
'''Guy:''' Really. 
'''Chris:''' It's a Japanese name. I think it's- 
'''Fan:''' Oh no no, I think you're looking at the wrong thing, it's S- S-H-O-T-A-C-O-N. 
'''Chris:''' S-H- I mean- O-T-A-C-O-N? Shotacon? 
'''Fan:''' It's the same thing, just put C-O-N at the end. 
'''Guy:''' I've read it in a dictionary before, can't remember what it means... 
'''Chris:''' Oh, oh! Okay, here it is, uh..."shotacon, sometimes shortened to shota, is Japanese slang of the phrase 'Shotaro Complex'"...uh..."that describes the attraction to young boys or an individual with such an attraction". 
''[Disgusted reactions heard]'' 
'''Fan:''' Oh my god, what the fuck? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' There's lots of sick people. Y'all are gonna get ricked? 
'''Fan:''' Someone from 4 cent garbage came in and told us to look that up, I didn't--I didn't even want to. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Guy:''' I guess he's a homo... 
'''Fan:''' Don't worry I banned him already. 
'''Girl:''' Um, Chris, Vivian wants to know if you can like, turn your radio down a bit, it's distracting. 
'''Guy:''' Yes, please turn it down. 
'''Chris:''' I thought that was quiet enough, here. 
'''Guy:''' Oh, no, the lady'll probably pick it up 
'''Girl:''' Alright cool. Merci. 

===10:21 Another fan asks about art supplies===

'''Another Fan:''' Okay, um, I have a question, um, I like to draw--interrupted by mumbling--I like to draw comics and such, I mean I want to start up a webcomic. What kind of materials do you use? 
'''Chris:''' Um, like, you mean for drawing? 
'''Another Fan:''' Yes. 
'''Chris:''' Well mostly I just use like, uh, paper without lines, like, computer printer paper you can get in, like, Wal-Mart, for an inexpensive price in multiples. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay-- 
'''Chris:''' And then I use like an RES--RSVP-brand pen with the black ink. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh okay, is it like, um, a gel pen or a ballpoint pen or-- 
'''Chris:''' It's like a ballpoint, it's like a ballpoint pen. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Fan:''' What do you use to color? 
'''Chris:''' I use Crayola brand markers. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. 
'''Chris:''' I would like to--I would--I would--I would recommend getting the Super Tip 50-pack which you can also find at the Wal-Mart. 
'''Another Fan:''' Oh, okay. I--[interrupted by someone else on chat] 
'''Guy:''' That's basically-- 
'''Another Fan:''' At Wal-Mart I usually get the 24-color RoseArts. Those are--those do pretty good too. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhh, Vivian, just so you--just so you know, I'm using the microphone that came with Hey You, Pikachu for Nintendo Sisty-Four [sic]. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, yeah no, no offense, but uh, personally I prefer like, colored pencils and shit cause--[Chris mumbling is heard]--they're like easier to erase. Photoshop [unintelligible] 
'''Chris:''' If you want to use colored pencils that's fine, I'm not, uh, saying that you have to use Crayola markers-- 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Julie:''' Why don't you use colored pencils? They're really good, you should try one on like, at least one page, just try one. One page with just colored pencils. 
'''Fan:''' But um, actually, you can--you can scan your drawings and then color--color them in like, Photoshop or something. [rest of chat murmurs in agreement] That looks really professional, and really good. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, I prefer using the markers. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' It's just that I--I mean--I mean I've tried--I mean I've colored with colored pencils before, and I just feel best with using markers. 
'''Julie:''' I have a question, um, uh, the Hey You Pikachu microphone, how does that work on the, you're using that on your computer? Did you say? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah it's just, yeah, it's like you plug it into uh, into the basic microphone jack. 
'''Julie:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. 
'''Girl:''' Excuse me, I have a nice little Plantronics headset. 
'''Chris:''' Um-- 
'''Another Fan:''' Hey Chris can I ask you a question? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, yeah, hang on a second, uh... uh, Omicron, that's uh, you're basically, uh, you're basically plagiarizing here. You're even using, uh, parts of my original drawings to, uh, make up your so called real ones and, you're just--you're just parroting--you're just plagiarizing-- 
'''Fan:''' That's dirty and illegal. 
[Unintelligible mumbling] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, you said so yourself, you're being illegal. And plus, and plus I'm-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, isn't combining Sonic with Pikachu the same thing? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, but, but, but but also, look at this, also I'm looking at this site here, it said, he's claiming the copyright for himself, but he's, but he's not. I mean that's like, but he's, he--he says 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' You need to ban him immediately. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, ban him immediately. 
'''Guy:''' Oh wait wait wait wait wait... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah maybe you should check--[interrupted by loud noise, probably Chris] 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well he said that, he's saying that all of Sonichu material is copyrighted by him, when it's clearly not. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah but you use Sonic and Pikachu, and you copyrighted it-- 
'''Other Guy:''' He just offered to give you credit--[interrupted by noisy chatter] 
'''Chris:''' I mean, I put, I mean, yeah but, I mean, I'm talking about the--the Omnicron [sic] guy here, that's like, just put this link here. 
'''Fan:''' Oh he offered to give you credit-- 
'''Julie:''' Yes that's the same thing you did. 
'''Chris:''' Well no no, he, no-- 
'''Fan:''' We decided-- 
'''Chris:''' No he's plagiarizing MY Sonichu. 
'''Fan:''' We just decided [unintelligible] 
'''Foreign Sounding Guy:''' [unintelligible] 
'''Julie:''' Chris it's, it's a parody, kinda like Sonichu is. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but he--yeah, but he's saying, he said--he--on his front page he says, all Sonichu material-- 
'''Fan:''' Yeah but he's, he just offered to change it, so are you okay with that? 
'''Chris:''' By changing it to Sonichu X-- 
'''Fan:''' No, he said he'll give you credit instead of claiming it for himself. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, uh, yeah I would appreciate that, that would be better, yeah, if... he changed that. 
'''Fan:''' Alright cool. 
'''Guy:''' Problem solved. 

===15:02 Chris talks about dildos to prove his strength===
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yes Julie. 
'''Julie:''' Do you think you could tell everyone about my idea? And, since you're going to do it do you think you could tell everyone so they could look out for it? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, your idea... um, oh oh oh, yeah, just basically a video of me standing up to Clyde and showing him how strong I am, doin' a few kicks for the camera or something-- 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, you should throw some punches, show him what you're made of, you know? 
'''Fan:''' Kick, punch, it's all in the mind ''etc..'' 
'''Chris:''' I basically... I pretty much did that when I... 
'''Guy:''' Let him talk, c'mon! 
'''Chris:''' I pretty much did - already proved my strength when I... ripped that... ''dildo'' in half. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Foreign-Sounding Guy:''' Most dildos come apart for cleaning. 
'''Guy:''' C'mon. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but that thing was screwed together at the seam. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Guy:''' Ok listen to me... 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris... 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' Eh Chris! 
'''Julie:''' ...could you do a like further test of your strength for me? 
'''Chris:''' ''stress sigh'' Yeah... 
'''Julie:''' I wanna see how strong you are please. 
'''Chris:''' ...That's fine, I can do that. 
'''Other Fan:''' I mean that's ok, you showed your strength, but you should show her your moves. Like show her, like, what kind of moves you can do. 
'''Fan:''' Chris, let me tell you a story about how this'll work, ok. 
'''Fan:''' See, my, uh, one of my cousins, uh, this guy at school, kept, y'know, picking on him, calling him gay and stuff, and trying to fight with him, and my cousin told him to sss- y'know, one day, the guy said "Hey man, I'm gonna beat you up" and my cousin said "Look, if I show you some of my moves, I'll prove to you I can kick your ass in a fight" and so my cousin, y'know, he stepped back and, he took, uh, he took Tae Kwon Do, and he did a couple moves, y'know? He just stood there for like five minutes just doing his moves, and, y'know, some punches and kicks and... The guy just backed right off; he didn't even want to talk to him any more. So I think that should work. 
'''Chris:''' All right, well I'll try that. I'll try that. 
'''Guy:''' All right. Sounds good. 
'''Fan:''' Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah.<br?>
'''Fan:''' You try - you always mention about how you're straight but yet in your video about you crushing a dildo, uh, doesn't that kinda like, y'know, not help your cause? 
'''Chris:''' No, it proves I'm straight because... 
'''Fan:''' But you have a dildo. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' I got it free with an order on adameve.com 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Deep-Voiced Guy:''' But you ''kept'' it and shit. That ain't cool. 
'''Fan:''' What I don't... Why were there batteries in...? 
'''Julie:''' Oh yeah Chris, why ''were'' there batteries in it? Why did you keep it? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, I mean... 
'''Chris:''' I mean it wasn't an easy thing for me to sell, right off the bat, or even to make a profit, so... 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' In fact in a way it's a good thing I kept it, cause it allowed me to be able to break it, like I did. 
'''Julie:''' Yes but why would you keep it? 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Julie:''' Why would you keep it? 
'''Chris:''' I woulda saved it for my sweetheart, if she'd wanted it. To use it. 
'''Fan:''' Aaaahhh. 
'''Julie:''' But if I were there wouldn't you prefer the real deal? 
'''Fan:''' Some things that metal just can't replace. 
'''Chris:''' ...Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' I heard that. 
'''Fan:''' You didn't use it did you? 
'''Chris:''' No I did not. 
'''Fan:''' Did you just throw all the ones you had away? 
'''Chris:''' I only had that one. And there you go, I ri - there you go, I broke it apart. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you just, like, ''take'' it apart, I mean, it did... 
'''Chris:''' No... 
'''Fan:''' ...seem to come apart, like, screwed on... 
'''Chris:''' No, no I did not take it apart, that thing was glued at the seam. I had to put a lot of strength into breaking it at the middle there. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah, but I think, um, showing your moves would be better. 
'''Chris:''' Right. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Clyde would mess with you if you show him you can kick his ass. 
'''Fan:''' Hey, Chris's a muthafuckin' ''gangsta''! 
'''Fan:''' Blap blap. 
'''Fan:''' Yes, Chris will fuck Clyde's shit up. 
(awkward pause) 
'''Julie:''' Wait, Chris, didn't you say you used a - didn't you say you used scissors to break the dildo? 
'''Chris:''' Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I pretty much did have to so I could break that ''glued seam''. 
'''Fan:''' Oh, I thought you broke it with your hands. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well I - yeah well I would have but it was dang glued at the seam, so I clipped straight in with the scissors I had. 
'''Chris:''' It's a pair of Super Shears from [[Cutco]]. 
'''Fan:''' ''(feigning interest)'' Huh. 

===19:50 Chris defends his Rule 34===

'''Fan:''' Yeah, let's talk about something else. Uh, Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Whenever the announcement of the adult Sonichu page, when I looked at your gallery, very nice stuff, you know, I see a picture of what looks like you with a Sonichu, uh, medallion. Like, and, who's that one girl, exactly? 
'''Fan:''' Who, [[Megan]]? 
'''Julie:''' I thought it was, like, [[Crystal]], cause of the hair? 
'''Chris:''' No, no, it was - it was originally drawn to be Megan but I censored her eyes to, uh, port - to protect her identity. 
'''Fan:''' Mmmmmm. 
'''Julie:''' ''(laughing)'' That's stupid! (?) That's so silly. 
'''Chris:''' I drew that after I found the ED page in November. 
'''Fan:''' Didn't you say that? 
'''Chris:''' In protest against it. 
'''Fan:''' I thought you were going to get rid of it anyway. 
'''Chris:''' I tore up the original drawing, I, in - into squares, and I put in in an envelope. 
'''Fan:''' Why did you upload it? 
'''Fan:''' Why did you do that shit? Like, and... 
'''Fan:''' I understand Rosechu, but, like y'know, why, like, something that's from real life. That's the problem (?) 
'''Chris:''' It's not necessarily from real life, it depends on you inter - it depends on your interpretation, I mean it's hardly - I mean, '''most women have long brown hair, and the eyes are censored''', so... 
(laughter) 
'''Fan:''' ''Most'' women?!? 
'''Fan:''' I remember in that one video you were saying it was Megan. 
'''Chris:''' Because it broke, because it end up, because it the end it broke up my friend - broke up my friendship eve, my uh, friendship with Megan. 
'''Julie:''' Um, can I ask you a question? In the third picture, with [[Angelica Rosechu]], what is... what's happening, is... God... doing...? 
'''Chris:''' Nope. She's masturbating. And she's enjoying it. 
'''Julie:''' But she has no hands there. How's she doing it? 
'''Fan:''' She's ''enjoying'' it. 
'''Chris:''' But she does... She does... 
'''Julie:''' Yeah but how's she doing it? She doesn't have her hands there. 
'''Chris:''' She does have her hands, she's... ''(stress sigh)'' She's... like most women would be able to do the same thing. 
'''Fan:''' I thing it's the angle, Julie. I think it's the angle you were looking at it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah plus uh, the picture wasn't, uh, very - wasn't as clear as, like, you know, I would have liked to have had it, uh, I mean, I had that file for a while, and it... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah some of those are kinda blurry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, some deg - some degraded. 
'''Julie:''' ? a good question, have you drawn anything... of... have you drawn anything like that with me? Cause I would actually like to see, if you did. If so, could you, and let me see? I, uh, sorry, that's very rude to ask. 
'''Chris:''' Um, I'm sorry, let me answer this guy. Yeah, well, I made a retraction video later saying that I - I disowned that address. 
'''Fan:''' Ah, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Just after that guy hacked into it and changed to it to suck. And as such. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Hang on, I'm gonna take a look at that... My Youtube... 
'''Fan:''' I like this song. 
'''Chris:''' What song? 
'''Fan:''' The song that's playing in the background of, uh. 
'''Julie:''' Hey Chris, what do you think of, uh, what do you think of that guy who advertises products, Billy Mays? What do you think of him? 
'''Chris:''' Hmmm... Billy... Oh! Yeah he's an ok guy, I watched him on Home Improvement. 
'''Fan:''' Billy Mays? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... 
'''Fan:''' No, that was another guy on Home Improvement, Chris. 
'''Chris:''' No that was the same guy. That was the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Really?!? Let's look up. IMDB, go. ''(sound of typing)'' 
'''Chris:''' Believe me, it's the same guy. 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, I really enjoyed your, um, adult, uh, section of the site. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... okey dokey, very good. Aaahh, trying to figure out how to update the link on this thing here. Oh, maybe under here. Oh there it is, thank God (?), update right now. 
'''Fan:''' ''(singing)'' You spin me right round baby, right round... 
'''Other fan:''' (joining in) Like a record baby, right round round round 
'''Fan:''' It's a classic, I can't help in man. 
'''Chris:''' There you are, updated. It's finally fixed. 
'''Guy:''' Actually that was Richard Karn on Home Improvement, not Billy Mays. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Well my mistake, I mean the guy had the beard and uhh... 
'''Guy:''' Oh yeah I can understand. 
'''Chris:''' And the voice sounds- and the voice sounds the same... 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. They sound the same. 
'''Guy:''' I guess. 
(incoherent: too many people) 
'''Chris:''' There's a matter of interpretation apparently I misinterpreted so I will admit that I was wrong. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah see we all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' (unintelligible babble or singing) 
'''Fan:''' Have you gotten any fan art submissions or notable? For the uh- webpage? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I got one today... It's like mostly a drawing of that uh that uh- of the fan herself. 
'''Fan:''' Oh. 
'''Chris:''' -got in the snail mail today. 
'''Guy:''' -Sunday. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Oh. Hmmmm... 
'''Guy:''' What are you doing for this Valentine's day Chris? 
'''Chris:''' Uhhhm... I'm sorry, what was that question? 
'''Guy:''' What will you be doing this year on Valentine's day? 
'''Chris:''' Hm depends... 
'''Guy:''' Ahhh, I see. 
'''Chris:''' Hm. 
Fan: Surely a man of such magnitude as yourself are going to be doing something important, aren't you? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm. 
'''Guy:''' Magnitude? Way to choose the words buddy. 
'''Other guy:''' Vocabulary talent. 
'''Chris:''' Uh, cause I don't have Julie over here yet. 
(Reactions of OHs and AHs) 
'''Chris:''' If she was here... 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) -play games. 
'''Chris:''' Or we could just uh... talk. 
'''Woman:''' Ehehehehe. Maybe... uh... why no redheads? 
'''Other Woman:''' Yeah? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I was trying to think about that when the other guy asked that question. Uh... I was trying to think up that unh... mmmm... Uhhhh, redheads just don't be very- tract me so much. 
Several: Uh, ah. 
'''Chris:''' It's- it's- a- pi- a possibility that they're dyed. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmmmmm... 
'''Chris:''' But yeah y'know natural redheads enh, yeah, just don't really turn me on as much. 
'''Woman:''' I see... 
'''Fan:''' Have you thought about girls with um, highlights? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... (pause) aaahhhh... what turns me on hhh- (inhales) (pause) obviously the women. 
'''Man:''' Gotta have the women. (?) 
'''Guy''': What about piercings or tattoo? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, neither of those. 
(Pause) 
'''Chris:''' Ehhhh- 
'''Guy:''' Hey (unintelligible) 
'''Julie:'''Hey Chris! How bout like non-orange hair, not like... no, never mind. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah... oh... okay... hmmm... 
'''Julie:''' Wait Chris! How do you feel about blue hair? 
'''Chris:''' Blue hair's okay, otherwise I wouldna- Otherwise I wouldn't've liked Sailor Mercury. 
'''British??? guy:''' That is true, she does have blue hair. 
'''Guy:''' She's a very fine character. There is no way to deny it. 
'''Black guy:''' Blue hair is OFF DA HOOK!!! 

===28:35 Chris impersonates various cartoon characters===

'''British??? guy:''' Doesn't Marge Simpson have blue hair as well? 
'''Chris:''' (in some kind of insane voice) Oh yeah! Marge Simpson has blue hair and it's as tall as the Empire State building!!! 
(Some HMMs UHs and UMs follow) 
'''Julie:''' Yo Chris!! Can you do some impersonations for us? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Oh we'd love to hear that! 
'''Chris:''' I just did Marge Simpson. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah you're really talented. 
'''British??? Guy:''' Yeah. 
(Several people talking at once) 
'''Julie:''' -they're really good. 
'''Guy:''' Do another SimpsonsChris, how about Comic Book Guy? 
'''British??? Guy:''' Mmmmhmmm... 
'''Chris:''' Oh I'm very indeed. Oh aren't we all promiscuous and whatnot. I like Batman and Robin, oh look! Stan Marsh has come into the thing again - I forget that guy's name, that guy who did the Marvel comics. 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Julie:''' Stan Lee. (Pause) Chris do your Donald Duck impression. 
'''Chris:''' Everybody have fun (incoherent and scary quacking) 
'''Several:''' (laughter) 
'''Guy:''' Chris you should work for Disney. 
'''Fan:''' That's good Chris. 
'''Guy:''' Have you ever considered being a voice actor? 
'''Chris:''' Errrrrp... possibly, I'm not sure. 
'''Fan:''' (incoherent, cut off by Chris) 
'''Chris:''' (incoherent... another cartoon voice) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris, you're a Christian, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Guy:''' I was just wondering- 
'''Chris:''' Ahm actu- 
'''Guy:''' -do you just- 
'''Chris:''' I'm actually a Methodist church. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome, I was just wondering: Do you think AIDS was sent by god to kill the homos or do you think that it's just an accident or something man-made? 
'''Chris:''' The thou- the thought never occurred to me... thought never occurred to me. 
'''Other guy:''' can you do an impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger? 
'''Guy:''' Hold- the question... 
'''Fan:''' Let Chris answer the question. 
'''Chris:''' The thought- the thought never occurred to me about what you just said about the AIDS there mmmm... but y'know, it's a possibility and I will not agree nor disagree with it. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, I was just wondering I mean, I've had that discussion with some of my Christian friends. I just wanted to get your opinion, thank you. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Mmhhh... 
'''Julie:''' I think (clears throat) I think Omicron has a point and you did tell me you went to a methodist church didn't you? So that's- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well th- well my Methodist church is uh more loose on- is not as strict on uh- on uh sex. 
'''Julie:''' Chris I don't know- I don't know that much about religion in the States but I don't think there is a looser Meth- Methodist church. God makes the rules Omicron says. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah well, hmmm... 
'''Guy:''' Well, you know personally I think that the government made AIDS to kill off all the brothers. 
'''Fan:''' Whoa, whoa... That's what the blacks always say. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. (pause) I'm going to agree, that sounds like something that uh... well, a black guy would say. 
'''Guy:''' So your church is kinda of uh- they let you do- their kinda loose on the whole moral restrictions? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... (pause) uhhh... that's... what's the question? 
'''Guy:''' Your church they- you said they're kind of more uh- y'know they're less strict on the whole moral thing, like, as far as sexuality goes? Right? 
'''Chris:''' -ah basically. 
'''Guy:''' But y'know, uhh, I thought you're supposed to listen to the Bible or whatever not, y'know, not necessarily- no, never mind. 
(Pause) 
'''Guy:''' Hey Chris- 
'''Other guy:''' (interrupts) 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, there's also a uh, there's also a- think about this uh, if you uh- if you- if you were a think uh- you have to find for yourself a good meaning behind uh- good meaning behind watching pornography to uh- like teach how it- how to do this and that when you actually get around to doing it... 
'''Guy:''' That's all ??? 
'''Chris:''' That's all's considered education for yourself. 
'''Guy:''' How is that realistic at all? 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's uh- not a really good thing to learn from, trust me. 
'''Chris:''' It can be done before marriage as well as long as me and my sweetheart really love each other very much. 
'''Fan:''' But not in Christianity. 
'''Guy:''' But all I'm saying is y'know, porn is completely, completely unre- unrealistic I mean you can't really learn anything from it. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' It gives- it gives you enough ideas. 
'''Julie:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' (incoherent) porn. 
'''Guy:''' When you actually have sex, it's nothing like porn. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Maybe not like you, you not gonna do it- 
'''Accented woman:''' You can't do it immediately- immediately anal sex cause most women are not very happy with anal sex and also... 
'''Guy:''' Okay, shut up 
'''Accented woman:''' -and also weird- 
'''Guy:''' Shut up. 
'''Accented woman:''' Yes. 
'''Guy:''' And... that wasn't cool, like... 
'''Fan:''' That was uncalled for... 
'''Guy:''' Yeah, like, suthin' a BLACK MAN would say... 
'''Several:''' (incoherent) 
'''Other guy:''' That's racist man... 
'''Chris:''' Well, somebody said it on here first before I did. 
'''Guy:''' Does that make it ok? 
'''Julie:''' Chris, I think he's trying to make it clear that- I dunno. 
'''Chris:''' I typically agree with that guy. 
(pause) 
'''Julie:''' So nothing g- it doesn't make it ok. 
(incoherent)
'''Chris:''' (babbling) I wi- I'm sorry, I take it back. 
(pause) 
(incoherent) 
'''Guy:''' Guys can we get back to Sonichu, Please? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah this is getting ridiculous. 
'''Guy:''' (incoherent) -Sonichu actually. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Anyway, my question is that: why does Sonichu not wear clothes while Rosechu and the other Rosechus do wear clothes? And underwear? 
'''Chris:''' Aaaaaaaaaamp... It's like uh- it's basically a cartoon and it doesn't really matter, it's like... mm... think about this: Most cartoon characters wear at least one article of clothing. At least one article. And uh- it's like Yogi Bear who just wears a necktie and a hat. 

'''(From 35.14)''' 

'''Other Guy:''' I think it would be cool if all the Sonichus and Rosechus got together and they and- they all formed a big team and they had special uniforms or something, kinda like the X-men. 
'''Fan:''' Or Power Rangers. 
'''Chris:''' Uh yeah, I don't do- I don't do well- I'm not in- no uniforms. It's a uniform and other Sonichus and Rosechus. 
'''Guy:''' I'm just wondering if you'd do another impression: What does Blachu sound like? Uh, Black Sonichu? Or Blake? 
'''Chris:''' Eeeeuuunh... Eh... ahhhh... 
'''British guy:''' Can you imitate it? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... I'm not sure... uhhhhm... 
'''Guy:''' Like does he sound black? 
'''Chris:''' Possibly, but I'm not certain. I'm not leaning towards it. 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I'd like to hear it, but if you don't want... 
'''Chris:''' I just never- I just never really thought about that. I'd say that he possibly sounds similar to uh, y'know Shadow the hedgehog. But he could possibly sound, black. He could. Don't quote me on it. 
'''Guy:''' All right, I was just wondering if you'd do his voice but... 
'''Black guy:''' Hey why does the BAD guy gotta be black? 
'''Chris:''' I never said the bad guy "has to" be black. (pause) I mean, look at the- the range of villanies, I mean there's black and whites and uh... male females. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I noticed that uh- Silvana's also... black lookin'. 
'''Chris:''' I just decided to color her black because she was born- she came from outer space from a black egg, which was the- which came out of the rainbow. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah, I was also wonderin' about that like- 
'''Chris:''' I- I- I- 
'''Black guy:''' If Silvana came out of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' Yes it's- 
'''Black guy:''' Why would she be black? 
'''Chris:''' (babbling) 
'''Black guy:''' I mean like black ain't part of the rainbow, right? 
'''Chris:''' It's like the black sheep of the family. Y'know you put all the colors together and it does become black. 
(unintelligible reactions) 
'''Guy:''' -like a brownish- 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) is a (unintelligible) color. 
'''Fan:''' Maybe it's because she's from space and there's not a lot of light in space and it's dark or something. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah that- a uh yeah- that's one of the- 
'''Other guy:''' Hmmm. 
'''Woman:''' Uhm, did you look at the link of my friend? 
'''Chris:''' Uh, ummmm... 
'''Woman:''' Yeah, since you love blue hair. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Uh- no I haven't looked at it and I don't wanna make Julie feel jealous if I did- if I went and did. 
'''Fan:''' I don't think Julie would mind. 
'''Woman:''' Uhhh... 
'''Fan:''' You look at pornography don't you? 
'''Woman:''' (mumble) 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' No, that- that was two syllables "Rose-chu". You don't- don't add- don't say the "e" it's just "Rosechu". 
'''Fan:''' Yeah you went over this last chat. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. 
'''Chris:'''(I don't know, it sounds like "narrator") 
'''Other guy:''' Uh. 
'''Chris:''' (sounds like he says "narrator" again) 
'''Other guy:''' Uh... I was just- 
'''Chris:''' No, well, obviously the uh- the narrator who did those audio books was incorrect. Specially since I never gave that person the approval to do the audiobooks. 
'''Fan:''' I think it's just a fan project and I think he- 
'''Chris:''' Yeah 
'''Fan:''' and I think he might have one of the West coast dialects. I know that the South they say y'all but over here- 
'''Chris:''' Well obviously he lied- 
'''Fan:''' -different. I'd be proud if they made one of my projects into an audiobook though. That means that there are a lot of fans out there that really like it. 
'''Other guy:''' Ay. 
'''Fan:''' They're not selling to try and make any money off it. They're not trying to rip you off. They always made sure- they always narrate the first page by saying "Christian Weston Chandler" so they're not trying to cheat you or anything. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' The people know you're making it. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah I- I hear that. I just, apparently they misin- misinterpreted the (audio breaks up) name Rosechu. Or mispronounced it. Misinterpreted, mispronounce- fairly the same thing in that situation.......... possibly. To answer that question... possibly. 
'''Guy:''' Uh, Vivian said that the audiobooks made Sonichu way popular that- than you could ever ever do on your own. 
'''Chris:''' Well, I will not disagree with the statement. And I appreciate her help. 
(pause) 
'''Other guy:''' Hey Chris. Would you be offended if a fan wrote a fanfiction about Sonichu? 
'''Chris:''' Faaanfiction... if it's- if it's not demeaning or makes them look stupid. Then it's fine- it's fine. (pause) Like I did mind when, shoot, what's his name? That guy... uhhhh... that guy that the uhhhh... did the animations, on his computer. 
'''British guy:''' You did mind or you didn't? 
'''Guy:''' Animations??? 
'''Fan:''' I think I know what he's talking about. Are you talking about the um... 

(background noise begins) 
''Background voice:'' Well the original play was a Greek play. Where they're all y'know... Greeks... and crazy stuff happens and they're all runnin' around in togas. So if you ever wanna see the movie "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" it was a classic and it had some real classic people from the 50s and 60s in it. Kinda like "It's a MAD MAD MAD MAD World". Sort of a classic old school movie from funny old school world. First color movie type thing. But that'll be a high school play. You'll wanna see that. You might actually enjoy it. (unintelligible) 
(inaudible response) 
''Background voice:'' You never know that might be fun to do. Well I guess that wouldn't work on the weekend then... you gotta... 

'''(FOR THOSE OF YOU WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, IT APPEARS THAT THERE WAS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSED ANOTHER MUMBLE CHANNEL TO BE RECORDED WHILE THE CONVERSATION WITH CHRIS BECAME BARELY AUDIBLE BACKGROUND NOISE. INSTEAD ALL THAT CAN BE HEARD IS SOME BUTTFACE YAMMERING ABOUT FILMS AND TELEVISION SHOWS. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP TRANSCRIBING IT. CHRIS IS STILL TALKING AND ANSWERING QUESTIONS, BUT NOTHING CAN BE UNDERSTOOD OVER THESE GUYS.)''' 

'''(AT 42.56 THE AUDIO SUDDENLY RESUMES NORMALLY)''' 

'''Unknown person:''' Uh you- 
'''Black guy:''' Yeah I uh- noticed he's another BLACK villain. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah in real life he was black. Without meaning any offense to the uh- black guy in general, cause you've noticed, among the Jerkops there's uh- we got black's and white's, males and females. 
(pause) 
(several people jump in at once) 
'''Other guy:''' (unintelligible) -on a female officer before. 
'''Chris:''' Well y'know uhhh... uhhh, comic book number 7, near the end. Near the end of the time travel episode. Uhh, I have no opinion about what Obama's doing cause I don't watch the news. 
Accented woman: But you voted for him, didn't you? 
'''Chris:''' Yes I voted for him because I saw myself in him when I com- when I saw both the documentaries and downloaded them for the Playstation Network between Obama and McCain. I mean voted for a person I saw more of myself of- 
Accented woman: You usually vote for someone based on their political leanings, not how you view them. As I were Republican, I voted for John McCain. Not because I liked him but because I- he had the same political views as me. 
'''Chris:''' Well, basi- basically I'm a moderate. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh, I see. Um, I was wondering. I was reading opinions: do you agree with his financial bailouts? 
'''Chris:''' Hm, I don't even know what it is. So I can't disagree or agree. 
'''Other guy:''' Well, to make it short um, it's about uh- the government- President Obama is planning to uh- a new one- (cuts out) 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry what? 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' You got cut off there. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' Uhh, ok, we lost him. 
(pause) 
'''Black guy:''' Yo, Chris, uh, do you, you didn't just vote for Obama cause he was black, did you? 
'''Chris:''' No, I did not vote for him because he was black. I voted for him cause I saw myse- because I saw myself in him. In like, similar lifestyles. And I saw that he was a good man, I mean after all, com- I saw- I saw I watched both of the A&E documentaries, before I can- before I knew who I would vote for. 

'''(From 45.29)''' 

'''Julie:''' Chris:, Chris what did you see in him that you say in your self? 
'''Chris:''' Like for one thing we were like outcasts, at least one point in our lives. 
'''Black man:''' Wait, wait hold up earlier you said that you thought he would probably paint the white house black. 
'''Chris:''' Oh oh that was my father’s joke he said that. 
'''???:''' Is your father a racist? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but you see I drew that for him before I saw the documentaries so respectfully withdrew that comic page. 
'''???:''' does your father hate black people. 
'''Chris:''' Not necessarily but it’s just how my father just how my father that does not reflect in any way that’s how he felt (annoying ass noise in the background) 
'''Black man:''' Man that racist. 
'''??? :''' Hey Chris I so the ahh saw the Sonichu and Rosechu love sack that you put up and I thought if was pretty cool for (you adult friends?) I just had a question though: do you have any plans in the comic to have romance between you and one of the hedgehogs I mean- 
'''Chris:''' (Yelling) No no no 
'''???:''' -we would like to see that. 
'''???:''' I mean is was just wondering because there are fans how would like to see that. 
'''???:''' Now- now that you answered the his question my kind of relates to his what are your thoughts on inter racial breeding and marriages? 
'''Chris:''' I would not agree of disagree with them but in my personal preference I would fell- I would feel more comfortable in having a full relationship with a white woman but I am willing- am still willing to be friends and acquaintances and give and have respect for the black women as well. 
'''???:''' What about Asians like Japanese? 
'''Chris:''' I’m ok with them as well (yelling) a once. 
'''???:''' So would you get married with a Japanese woman? 
'''Chris:''' hhhmmmm I would have, yes. 
'''???:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' but I’m giving Julie to opportunity here. 
'''Clyde:''' Julie’s a lucky woman. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris is Silvana gonna become one of the good guys like Blake before? 
'''Chris:''' There’s a possibility but I have not confirmed that yet. 
'''???:''' Is she gonna get the male sexual parts and become a full-fledged woman? 
'''Chris:''' Hhhmmm possibly but I haven’t given that thought either. 
'''???:''' Also um reading (?Phillip’s?) question what did you want to be when you were little? 
'''Chris:''' I don’t remember, I do not remember I’m just making it as I go basically. 
'''???:''' is there ever gonna be an end to your sonichu series like a finally. 
'''Chris:''' hmmmm I don’t know ,probably would not. 
'''???:''' Oh so it keeps going and going? 
???: You ever consider making comic about the history of CWCville? 
'''Chris:''' Hhmmmm an episode dedicated to that possibility. 
'''???:''' Hey Chris are you going to keep the name changes that you made or are you going back to the original names? 
'''Chris:''' Ahhh ya I’m keeping the name changes. 
'''???:''' But you know umm Nintendo was umm they sent you a letter you never really talk about it further. 
'''Chris:''' Yeah but at less at less they use to benefit me for the fact that allowed me to fix noting in that since I couldn’t be sued by such people in that since so the name change is for good. 

'''(From 50 min)''' 

(scattered reactions) 
'''Chris:''' So the name changes were good. 
'''Guy:''' So uh, Chris I was wondering if uh Mary- Mary Lee Walsh Or I guess the new name: Ryam Sla- I don't know- 
'''Chris:''' Sla-weel. 
'''Guy:''' Slaweel, thank you. Uhm, if she were to use her magic to curse Rosechu with a penis, what- wou- would that test the relationship between Sonichu and her? While they were fighting the battle to have it removed. 
'''Chris:''' Uhhh... Firstly uh, she does not- she does not have the power ch- to do that. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Ok, I just thought you know, remember you did the story about 4-cent-garbage and drawing all the- the picture and- 
'''Chris:''' Ah you what, that's one- that's one thing: drawing them, but not actually putting them on the character. 
'''Guy:''' Cause I think that would be like an epic story though- 
Fan: I'll second that. 
'''Guy:''' to have a quest to go to have that penis removed from Rosechu. I mean it's a test of romance between her and Sonichu. 
(muttering) 
'''Guy:''' And when that prevails and the penis is removed and everybody- everybody lives happily ever after. Y'know that would be awesome. 
'''Chris:''' Unnnnnnnh, I dunno I have to- I dunno I have to think about that. 
'''Fan:''' It is a really good idea. I mean I like it. 
'''Woman:''' I do too. 
'''Other guy:''' Yeah, that's good. 
Other fan: It could show just how much Rosechu means to Sonichu. 
'''Chris:''' Well I'll- I'll consider it but I'm not making any promises. 
'''Guy:''' We understand. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah. 
(several talking at once) 
'''Guy:''' -decided on that subject? 
'''Chris:''' I'm working on it. 
'''Guy:''' If you actually decide to go forward with that story? Do you think maybe- maybe you could give her a talking penis? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid!!! 
(laughter from various people) 
(unintelligible responses) 
'''Fan:''' Ok, I think- I think we've talked enough about that one guys. 
'''Other guy:''' I have a question that doesn't involve penises. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other guy:''' Anyway, my question is since we've been hearing lot of vicious lies and slander about this, could you confirm exactly why you've been fired from your job at Wendy's Chris? Cause we've been hearing all sorts of- of crazy things and we wanna know the truth. 
'''Chris:''' Mmmmmmmm... well, firstly, what have you heard? 
'''Other guy:'''Well we heard that uh you... we've heard so many things like you helped a small child and you did a Donald Duck impersonation and you scared the child. 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... also that- also that is correct but I did not scare the child. The child was tired, I was only- I was only trying to make the child feel better. That's a little amusement. But I did not make the child cry, the child was already- was just tired. 
'''Other guy:''' So you didn't help them cut their food and... yeah... 
'''Chris:''' I did help them- help them get their food to- by giving them uhh, by giving them bags and a top for their baked potato boat. 
'''Guy:''' Chris, when will um, the pictures of Zapina, um, appear on the 18 plus page? 
'''Chris:''' Well that was a deleted scene! That was a deleted scene. 
(pause) 
'''Guy:''' Why was it deleted? 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Well, basically, hhh... y'c- y'cant' really have it if you don't have Rosechu working to take the- working to take the pictures of herself up in the bathroom. Cause like can't have one without the other. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaahhh... 
(pause) 
'''Woman:''' I don't know if this is a good question but there's something I wonder about that- we kind of have this DVD you made and... we never unfortunately got... but I'm curious um... do you ever plan to release it? 
'''Chris:''' Maybe. 
'''Other guy:''' I'd pay money for that, I think everyone else here would probably pay money for it too. 
'''Fan:''' Indeed. 
(pause) 
'''Other fan:''' (breaking up) I wanna ask a question. 
'''Guy:''' I hear it's also on YouTube. 
'''Fan:''' Chris do you know that you've influenced the rap/hip hop community? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmh... uh. 
'''Fan:''' I just wanted to mention that because I saw some YouTube videos and it- and- and from some underground hip hop artists such as ??? and they've sampled some of your voice audio complaining about your struggles with uhm... with the school board, with the security guards and they were- they felt so empowered that they actually took those words and mad'em into a very powerful rap song. How does that- how is your reaction to that? 
'''Chris:''' Enhhhh... basically I have not watched those videos so... I don't have an opinion. 
'''Fan:''' Well, I will provide you a link to that, hold on a moment. 
'''Chris:''' Oh that's ok, actually I uh, did sample one. The one where they basically played the parody from "Can't touch this". 
'''Fan:''' No, no, see it's waaay more serious than that. 
'''Chris:''' Well I still haven't heard of- heard of what you're talking about. 
(unintelligible) 
'''Other fan:''' Nevermind. 
(rustling and moving noises) 
'''Guy:''' Can you do an impression of MC Hammer? 
(more clicking and rustling) 
'''Chris:''' Can't touch this do do do doo do dooo Can't touch this! Do do do dooo do do do... can't touch this. 
'''Guy:''' Oh awesome. 
'''Other fan:''' That was- heheheh. 
'''Other guy:''' Awesome. 
'''Guy:''' Can you- can you do Dr. Nick Riviera from the Simpsons? 
'''Chris:''' HIIII EVERYBODY! 
'''Other fan:''' Hello Christian Chandler. 
'''Other fan:''' Hi Chris. 
'''Other guy:''' Hi Christian Chandler. 
'''Chris:''' Well that should say Dr. Nick cause that's who I'm imitatin'. 
'''Guy:''' Yeah. 
(pause) 
'''???:''' That uh- 
'''???:''' HELLOOO EV'RYBODY!!!! 
'''Guy:''' Well that- 
'''Chris:''' Hi Dr. Nick! 
'''Fan:''' Thank you, I love the Simpsons. 
'''Guy:''' Can you do... Peter from Family Guy? 
'''Chris:''' Enhenhenhenh... Hey Lois! Look at me! I'm just (incoherent) you nose, and I'm eatin' your nose. 
'''Other guy:''' Oh that's dead on. 
'''Woman:''' Oh would you- Omicron's been interested in tis- would you actually make a documentary like- like your other DVD but make your daily life? 
'''Chris:''' Mmm... I'm... yeah I might but uh... I'm not su- I'm not sure bout it at the moment. 
'''Woman:''' Aaaaaaaaanh... 
'''Guy:''' Chris can you do Mario? You know from Super Mario? 
'''Chris:''' Hay paisano! How you doin' mistah hedgehog! 
'''Guy:''' That's very good. 
'''Chris:''' And then Sonic- then Sonic would say "what?!?" 
(giggling) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris do you have any plans to make a video of yourself taking a dump on a Hexbox? 
'''Chris:''' No! That's gross. 
'''Other fan:''' Yeah that was pretty sick right there. 
'''Accented woman:''' Let's ban him. 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's bad enough I cut in half with an axe. 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' and one of the elevator jokes... 
'''Other fan:''' Oh we remember that, that was a classic. 
'''Chris:''' And I earned a trophy for that. 
'''Woman:''' Mmmm... 
'''British guy:''' Yeah, I remember that, it was destroying a Hexbox by cutting it in half if I remember... 
'''Chris:''' Yeah. 
'''Fan:''' If I were to draw nude Zapina fanart, uhm, would you put them on the site? 
'''Chris:''' Mmmm... uhh, your- you uh- free to draw them at your- at your own- own preference, but I will not be- I will not put it on the website because- cause- because I will not want to break any laws of having underage portrayals- portrayals of underage nudity. 
'''Fan:''' Isn't Dot a child? 
'''Chris:''' I'm sorry... what? 
'''Fan:''' Dot, from Animaniacs. 
'''Chris:''' Oh. 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''British guy:''' So-uh- uhm- I think I looked up somewhere that um, drawings do not count, they're just lines on paper not like real pictures that are horrible. 
'''Fan:''' Yeah I believe- 
'''Chris:''' Draw- 
'''Fan:''' (cut off) 
'''Other guy:''' Those illustrations do not count as child pornography. Because with drawing it's art- it's artistic merit. 
'''Chris:''' Welll... I dunno, I guess it depends I have to- but- y'know you could do the drawing and I'll think- I'll consider it. 
(typing noises) 
(pause) 
'''Fan:''' Hey Chris, would it be possible to get any pictures of Sonichu having anal sex with Rosechu? 
(pause... thumps and feedback) 
'''Chris:''' Unh... 
Accented woman: Who keeps letting this person in? You are very offensive. 
'''Fan:''' -and and, if you draw those, do you think that Rosechu would actually clean Sonichu's penis off with her mouth when they're done? 
'''Chris:''' Unnnhh... 
(pause) 
'''Chris:''' Nah I don't think so, I think- I think- I think it would be unh- yeah wash it off with a washcloth. 
'''Fan:''' Do you think at that point then they would sell the washcloth on EBay? 
'''Chris:''' That's stupid! 
(people talking over each other) 
'''Chris:''' No, no, no more party humor, all right? 
'''Fan:''' Yeah alright, okay 
'''Fan:''' Unrelated to party humor, I want to ask that in your Springbreak Issue of Sonichu you had an introduction of a new character, the squirtle and I wanna ask 
'''Chris:''' (interrupting) No, no, no, no, that's not just a character, I was, I wasn't introducing a new character, I was just adding like a post strip thing for a bubble speak under one, I just thought to draw some water type pokemon in there 
'''Fan''': I understand but the thing is there is huge cult following for that character and I strongly suggest that you should capalize on that and make him to a main character 
'''Chris:''' Eh... No, I don't think so 
'''Fan''': Yeah 
'''Chris:''' I mean it's just sleeping Squirtle work waking up 
'''Fan''': I don't know, people just thought he is really cute and yawning Squirtle, and I don't know, I heard someone say, man wouldn't it be great if he be that dumby sidekick and he is coming and says something silly after some of this and they would be all like Squirtle! 
People laughing and talking over each other 
'''Julie:''' Ehm... 
???: Yo, it makes you *unintelligible* (Chris and someone talk over another) 
'''Chris:''' Yes, Julie? 
'''Julie:''' I'm asking you about... Hm... Never mind, I lost my train of thought. I'm sorry. 
'''Chris:''' That's okay. These guys made me lose a train of thought as well. Doesn't multiple inputs. 
'''Fan''': Yes, kinda lotta control here. I may have to... never mind 
Silence 
'''Fan''': I never lose my train of thought because I have a GPS tracking system on it. 
Laughter 
'''Fan''': Chris, could you tell us a joke right now. Just any joke. 
'''Chris:''' Okay, here is a fuck - here is a funny ...here is a funny mind scream. Funny rhyme scheme - next to be citerically: 
On your Game Boy Advance SP 
create your ME 
play da WII 
For your PSP 
Or your PS3 
Cause it's fun 
See? 
And never buy a Hex-Box 360 
Because it's stupid and you're not a dummy (in childlike voice) 

Mock laughter 

'''Fan''': Is that something you made up? 
'''Chris:''' Yeah, I made that up 
'''Alucard''': Chris, Chris, can I write that down and tribute to quote you that? Oh man, that's good 
'''Chris:''' (unintelligible) So you mean to type it up and you quote me on the rhyme scheme? 
'''Alucard''': Yeah, I'd like that. I've been thinking about making a quote book like a mini Chris quote book like something you could open and have a cool line to say when you're on a party and you're like right things 
'''Chris:''' I was typing it up for Alucard 
'''Alucard''': Thank you 
'''Julie:''' (unintelligible) 
'''Chris:''' Here is an [[Christian's sex joke|adult joke]] I once come up 
'''Fan''': This is going to be good! 
'''Chris:''' There was this married couple, Bob and Jane, and they have been looking forward to having children. So, one night, Bob comes home from work, and Jane says, "Hi, you had a good day, dear?" And he says, "Nah, I felt alone, darling" And she said, "Well, it's okay, why don't we go upstairs, and we'll have some Breakfast." "Breakfast, at Nine p.m.?" And she says, "Sure, you bring the MILK, and I'll get an EGG." 
'''Fan''': Yo, I heard that before, man 
'''Chris:''' And then later, they had a boy and a girl, Junior Bacon and Orange Juice. All Part of a Balanced Breakfast. 
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif]] 
Perplexed silence

'''Fan''': Hey, Chris, how do you solve a Mexican tank? 
'''Chris:''' Stand in front of it? 
'''Fan''': No, man, shoot the guys pushing at it 
Laughter 
'''Fans''': Oh that's a good one 
'''Other fan:''' I got one 

(transcribing end for now at 1:05:00) 

{{Transcription}}
{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 6|Mumble Chat 6]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 8|Mumble Chat 8]]|}}

==Links==
[http://www.mediafire.com/?zkia5tz1y5j Download]

==See Also==

[[Christian's sex joke]] - Used during this chat.

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

Mumble 9.5

2010-11-04T19:24:27Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Grammar nazi time.

'''Mumble 9.5''' is the continuation of the [[Mumble 9|ninth]] of the [[Mumble 9]] chat involving [[Chris]].

==Summary==
[[Chris]] rejoins the [[Miscreants]] in chat. [[Clyde]] and the Miscreants again bombard Chris with accusations that he doesn't care about his [[Aunt Corina|Aunt Corina's]] death, and he's more sad that a funeral is ruining his birthday. The trolls again accuse Chris of [[List of Chris's games|wasting money on video games]] (with Clyde leveling the accusation that Chris and his family have spent more than $20,000 on games), and Chris offers little of substance in response.

Chris eventually storms out of the chat after being told he is afraid to go outside, and that leaving his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] for a change is the only way to get the Miscreants to leave him alone.

In one of the more famous Mumble moments, Chris admits that he may be "[[Autism|retarded]]" and that his mind doesn't think so quickly... making it obvious why he goes out of his way to mock "[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 6|slow-in-the-minds]]."

(00:00)
* The chat begins in the middle of a conversation between [[Clyde]] and [[Chris]].
* Clyde says Chris has improved nothing in his life.
(00:30)
* Chris says he has been thinking "very hard" about [[Wendy's|getting a job]], going to [[Julie]], and convincing [[Bob]] and [[Barb]] that Julie is real.
(01:00)
* Chris feels it is significant he is ready to spend "fifty to a hundred" dollars to go see Julie.
(02:00)
* Chris says the trolls do not realize how much stress he has because he must go to a funeral for his [[Aunt Corrina]] and that it is "happening on his birthday of all days."
* Clyde says Chris is more sad about his birthday than Aunt Corrina.
(02:30)
* Chris seems to be crying over his Aunt Corrina.
(03:00)
* Chris's blubbering suddenly improves and stops, indicating that it's likely bogus.
* Clyde tells trolls to let Chris cry.
(03:30)
* Chris says he is "possibly retarded," since his mind doesn't think so swift.
* Chris says he often doesn't even give thought to the actions he does.
(04:00)
* Hearing about the fire "made Chris so sad" and he "cried his heart out."
(05:00)
* Chris says love is like "standing on top of a mountain" and having "good wind" blow through your hair.
* People are to get to know each other through "pleasant conversation" and it is not all about the "bonus round."
(06:30)
* Chris says women should get to know men "[[gay|from the inside]]."
* Chris felt "true honest respect" from Julie, [[Blanca]], [[Sarah May]], [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]].
(08:00)
* Clyde says if he knew what true love was, Chris would know they were trolls. Chris says "trolls or not, I still care about them very much."
(08:30)
* Chris has got "some good memories" of those women.
(09:30)
* Chris claims he has learned from his mistakes and learned how to sort the "true from the false."
(10:30)
*Chris angrily responds to a question about Megan.
(11:00)
*Clyde asks whether Chris realizes why Megan left. After a pause, Chris says it is because he "got into her personal space" and "violated her drawing."
(12:00)
* Chris says he feels the [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|sexy drawing]] and sexy websites are "appropriate" and says "the eyes are censored and you can't recognize Megan."
(13:30)
* The trolls insult Chris and tell him they haven't slandered him- they've only posted his words.
* Chris claims he has been misinterpreted and has gone through "so many revolutions and personal upgrades for the better."
(14:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants have estimated Chris has spent over [[list of Chris's games|$20,000 on video games in his life]].
(15:30)
* Chris blames the ED page for not getting a job.
(16:00)
* Clyde attacks Chris for misspending his tugboat. Chris says he spends his money by paying the bills, his rent, and credit cards.
(16:30)
* The trolls say there is no way Chris will ever support a family.
* Clyde accuses Chris of being $2000 behind in credit card debt.
(17:30)
* Clyde says the Miscreants can't be stopped, and Chris stops answering.
(19:00)
* Chris says he goes outside every day, but changes the subject.
* Chris says [[Max]] has said to pass on the message that Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes.
(19:30)
* Chris says '''"most everything I tell you is the truth."'''
(20:00)
* Chris angrily yells that he did not have the money or support to go see Miyamoto.
(20:30)
* Chris says he went out with Bob to get [[McDonald's|breakfast]], since Bob likes the company.
* Chris reads comic strips in newspapers.
(21:00)
* Clyde says Bob wants someone intelligent to talk to, but all he has is Chris.
* The trolls say Chris is a bad son, and his parents have spent a lot of money on him.
(21:30)
* The trolls say Chris should make his own decisions and not just do everything Bob and Barb want.
(22:00)
* Chris says he is "more likely to stick to a routine."
* Clyde says Chris will just keep going downhill.
* Chris's only response is to tell the trolls to "shut up," and he leaves the chat.
* The trolls discuss the next chance to troll Chris and what BlueSpike should do next.

==Transcript==

{{quote|Ahhh, Jesus Christ.|Chris, Once again showing us his devout Christian ways}}

'''Clyde''': We've given you so many chances to improve yourself, I've tried to help you but you never listen. 
'''Chris''': Clyde, could you repeat the question, I didn't have my headphones on? 
'''Clyde''': I've been trying to help you this entire time, but I've grown tired of you doing nothing. 
'''Chris''': I have been doing something 
'''Clyde''': What have you done? 
'''Chris''': I have been making plans, I have been thinking very hard about getting a job and about going to Julie and convincing my family that she is, that she is a real woman. [''sigh'']I'm probably, I'm not lying, spending about $50-100 of my own money just to try, just to try go up and visit her. 
'''Clyde''': How much money? 
'''Chris''': 50 to 100. 
'''Clyde''': That's not a lot. [''inaudible''] That's chump change in today's society. A long time ago one of our former, former [''inaudible''] Vivian [''inaudible''] but anywayed to help you but you didn't listen. 
'''Chris''': Well, look, I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry about, look, I'm sorry about a lot of my past mistakes about not listening to everyone ok, but I've been under a lot of [[stress]]. 
'''Clyde''': What is this stress? You always cite stress. 
'''Chris''': Stress STRESS, Stress of the mean people that ha has give me such bad mark, uh, that have made a bad name and such. 
'''Troll 1''': Chris you don't know what stress is, you don't have a job you don't go. 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] I have a lot of stress in my life, my Aunt Corina just died and I have to go to her funeral and I'm going to be very sad that day and the funeral is happening on my birthday of all days. 
'''Clyde''': Shouldn't you be more sad about her than your birthday? 
'''Chris''': I am very upset about my Aunt Corina, she was a very sweet woman 
'''Clyde''': But you seem to be complain about it being on your birthday 
'''Chris''': Look, stop talking about that, OK? I love my [''Clyde butts in with a half formed sentence''] I feel sympathy for my Aunt Corina. She smoked and when she went to the hospital she died at age seventy-five, her her, her [''inaudible''] deteriorated her left lung and her liver and her brain. 
[''both Clyde and Chris go to speak''] 
'''Clyde''': Go ahead, sure, why not 
'''Chris''': And they kept her alive as long as they could, they could, till she breathed... her last breath. 
[''Chris pulls out an Academy-Award-winning performance of tears''] 
'''Chris''': [''between sobs and with a heavy heart''] We knew that she was dying [''Chris is too emotional here to make out what he is saying''] and that we were able to say we loved her one last time, over the phone. [''sob''] 
'''Clyde''': Well, they did their best. 
[''Trolls mock and imitate Chris''] 
'''Clyde''': Silence, let him cry, let him cry. [''inaudible''] but this does not excuse for all your other past actions. 
[''Chris has made a miraculous mental recovery from his emotional state''] 
'''Chris''': [''loud sigh''] Look I'm unfit, I'm possibly [[Slow-in-the-minds|retarded]], okay my mind doesn't think so swift. I- I- uh, I'm likely even to make mistakes on the fly without realizing it. Sometimes I don't even give thought to something I've said [''inaudible''] but I can give a lot of before when I move from pe- uh, move from, uh, move from [[Panda]] to [[Julie]], because I though- I thought she had died in that fire. I was I uh my heart was petra uh about that possibility after I about that fire in Austra- uh post, It made me so sad. [''sobs creep back into Chris's voice''] 
'''Clyde''': Now this I can't believe. I believe your Aunt Corina and I'm sorry for your loss but about Panda, NO! 
'''Chris''': I cried my heart out. 
'''Clyde''': And then you just moved on, just like that. 
'''Chris''': NO, I uh, no I did not move on just like that. 
'''Clyde''': But you claimed she was your love your love. You don't know what love feels like Chris. 
'''Chris''': I do know what love feels like. 
'''Clyde''': What does it feel like then chris? Can you describe it? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's... uh [''sigh''] it's indescribable, it's a priceless feeling, it's like you know you feel most elated, it's like your standing on top of a mountain with the wind blowing through your hair and it's a good wind. It's just uh love feels so good. True love feels so good especially when it, uh, comes between two people who have known each other for a long while and have got to know each other through pleasant conversation. And uh you know the bonus rounds are there too I mean I'll admit that but what I enjoy most are the pleasant conversations and learning about the kind sweet uh kind sweet women that they are [''sigh''] and that they care me and respect me very much and it just makes me feel so much better to know that I'm respected by the women. Because I felt, because it's like I don't get a lot of respect from people, from bad people like y'all being mean like right now. And this is just [''tears welling and emotion rising''] is making me want to cry. 
'''Clyde''': You said the women. are you talking about a singular person or all women? 
[''once again, Chris has composed himself amazingly well''] 
'''Chris''': No, no I said women, women. 
'''Clyde''': You mean you want to be respected by everyone? All the women. You want to love them all? 
'''Chris''': No 
'''Clyde''': Or is it down to one person? 
'''Chris''': No, uh, wait. Now you're twisting my words around 
'''Clyde''': I'm just saying whatever you say. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look I could uh, its a, look when I talk about the respect from a woman I'm talking about [[honest]] respect like after she's got to know me from the inside like, uh, most women should get to know their man, before they go have a relationship with them or or whatever. And if [[Julie]] just, you know between [[Blanca]] and [[Sarah Jackson]] and [[Panda]], [[Sarah May]] and Julie. I was very happy that day when I felt such respect when I felt the true honest respect of them. And there's noth- you know uh you know I'm sorry to have forgot to have mentioned Sarah May when I mentioned Julie [''inaudible''] when I was asked a question about naming friends. I'll admit I'll admit I was wrong. I was wrong I was wrong and I thank Julie very I mean Sarah Mayver, damn it, I did it again. I got mixed up. You, Y'all mixed it up when you mixed up my emotions because I'm upset all this. Anyways anyways Aunt then got to the hospital and I felt so sorry for- 
'''Clyde''': No need, no need for lies to keep up the false stories. They are all trolls. They are all trolls. Chris have I not got this through your head. Panda is sleeping right now if you could be more quiet. Sarah May is perfectly fine. Blanca, Blanca well I don't know where she's off to, the other two people behind Blanca I don't know and Sarah Jackson is still alive. They are all trolls, Chris. It's because you don't know what true love is. 
'''Chris''': I know what true love is. 
'''Clyde''': If you knew what true love was, then you would realize that they were trolls. 
'''Troll 7''': Yep. 
'''Chris''': Look, trolls, look, trollers or not I still cared about them very much. 
'''Clyde''': What? 
'''Chris''': Trollers or not, I still cared about them very much. 
'''Troll 3''': you're just bullshitting 
'''Chris''': And I- and I- I got so- I got so many good memories of them. Some bad sure and some even bad but good 
'''Female troll''': Chris all those memories are false. 
'''Troll 2''': You deluded pig. 
[''two people speak at once''] 
'''Troll 1''': Every scenario, all us. 
'''Clyde''': We were behind it all. 
'''Chris''': look I know y'all, I know y'all are feeding me lies right now 
[''huge reaction to this, everyone talks over each other''] 
'''Clyde''': You still believe that they were not trolling, this is the thing. Really? Even after Blanca destroyed your medallion, after Panda sudden mysteriously disappeared when she doesn't even live in that part of Australia, well, not any more she doesn't, but anyway. You still believe it. 
'''Troll 4''': You are stupid, Chris. You do not learn from your mistakes. 
'''Chris''': Look [''sigh''] I do learn from my- I have learnt from my mistakes. 
[''several people speak''] 
'''Chris''': I have learnt to take so many bullets and lies that were aimed directly at me, I learnt to take them like uh, like [''inaudible''] in the wind. Just let them fly by. let them fly by. I have learnt to sort the truth from the false. Panada true, definite true, definitely comes from the woman, from the people themselves. 
'''Clyde''': Why would you see through that one [''inaudible''] Julie after Sarah May and Panda. Urgh, I'm disgusted by that. But we'll make sure she never meets you. 
'''Troll 5''': Anyway 
'''Chris''': Look, y'all, are just, look y'all are just trying to make me feel bad because I have- because I have been delayed- because I was delayed in drawing comics as often as I should be 
[''eruption of sarcastic "oh yeah"s''] 
'''Troll 2''': You idiot, this isn't about the comics 
'''Troll 6''': How's [[Megan]] by the way? 
'''Chris''': I DON'T KNOW, I haven't seen her in a long time. 
'''Troll 6''': I wonder why 
'''Clyde''': Silence, silence, OK, I want to ask you one last thing, well not one last thing but a useful thing. Why do you think Megan left you? Can you think why now? I think I've asked you this before. 
'''Chris''': I can only think because I got too much in her personal space and I violate her with [[ShecameforCWC.jpg|the drawing]]. 
'''Clyde''': That was probably your only chance for true happiness and you screwed that up, and you're still doing it time and time again. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, that drawing's fucked up, yo. 
'''Clyde''': And you still manage to post it up on your website. Why? 
'''Chris''': I don't... [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': Clyde's correct, Chris. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] It's a sexy drawing and it's [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|a sexy website]] and I thought it was appropriate. 
[''several people respond''] 
'''Chris''': Besides, in the drawing the eyes are censored out, it's not like you can recognize the woman. 
'''Clyde''': [[Censorship]] does nothing once you've admitted it, Chris. 
[''trolls agree with Clyde's sentiment''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Troll 6''': And besides, we thought that was your [[sister]] for the longest time. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] [''whispering''] Jesus, Jesus. 
'''Troll 8''': I thought that was a better theory, actually. 
'''Chris''': Ahhh Jesus Christ. 
'''Troll 6''': Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, Chris? 
'''Chris''': Maybe not but y'all didn't have to twist my words round on everything make up all these dang stupid false slanderous theories and whatnot. 
'''Troll 7''': Dude, yo, that's bullshit. 
[''trolls disagree with Chris's sentiment''] 
'''Troll 1''': We're just going off what you've told us. 
'''Troll 8''': Exactly. 
'''Clyde''': [Unclear] What did you expect would happen? 
'''Troll 2''': You lowlife. I hope you bleed in slanderous Hell. 
'''Troll 1''': We've never slandered anyone. We just take what you've said and post it for people's interpretations. 
'''Chris''': That's my point, you've misinterpret me. 
'''Clyde''': Well, you're going to have to correct yourself one day, you have to [''inaudible'']. 
'''Chris''': I have been correcting myself, every day from the lessons I've learned and the mistakes I've realised I've made. 
'''Troll 8''': Really? 
'''Chris''': I've gone through so many self-revelations and uh,and uh,and personal upgrades for the better. 
'''Troll 7''': Like yo [[PSP]. 
[''trolls laugh''] 
'''Chris''': Forget about the friggin' games systems. 
'''Clyde''': Surprising from a man who spends over a thousand dollars on it. You see chris you have a problem. You need to stop buying video games, you need to sell them all. They're no good, they're not helping you 
'''Troll 1''': It's only when you lose everything that you're free to do anything. 
'''Troll 8''': The man speaks the truth. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
'''Clyde''': You have, We have estimated you have over twenty thousand U.S. dollars worth of video games, all at some points of your life. Why would you spend so much? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Well I started from childhood, I was brought up, I was brought up with video games. I started with a Commodore 64, when it was brand new. Just saying. 
'''Troll''': Chris, that is not a valid excuse. 
'''Chris''': It's the truth. 
'''Troll''': That doesn't make it valid. 
'''Clyde''': Chris let me ask you this. How many of the games that you've owned in your lifetime have you actually completed? 
'''Chris''': I have beaten the vast majority of them. I have beat most every [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game I own. 
'''Clyde''': If you have that much free time on your hands, maybe you should get a job. 
'''Chris''': Hey you know what, for one thing I would get a job, but you know they would punch my name on the Internet, they would find that damn ED page and then- 
[''trolls all speak''] 
'''Clyde''': OK OK, yes you're right, you're right. We have slandered you, well we haven't slandered you. It's only the truth, the truth. I had to say "slandered" because you say that so much, but anyay. Ok lets say you just did have your own eight hundred dollar uhh, whatever you call it, "[[tugboat]]", which is a stupid name. It's a government check. You have your eight hundred dollars to spend and how do you spend that? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I got uh, I pay my, I pay my, I pay my family's bills, I give them a monthly rent, I pay my credit card bills 
'''Clyde''': But then you still [''inaudible'']. 
'''Troll 1''': You're right, Chris probably could not get a job but he can not also support himself on his tugboat. So [''loud typing noise''] he can't support his family anyway. Too bad. 
'''Troll 7''': Yo, I can hear that typing, what's with that? 
'''Clyde''': I know that you've revealed that to date you have credit card debts, you're already two thousand dollars behind. How do you expect to raise a family? How do you expect to help Julie? 
'''Chris''': Uhh... [''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 5''': Ignoring the question, I see. 
'''Chris''': No. 
'''Clyde''': Look, if you go onto your [[YouTube]], beg your fans to bring down us [[the Miscreants]], but you know, your combined powers can not stop us. Nothing can stop us. 
'''Troll 8''': Every time we get knocked down we'll get right back up again. 
'''Troll 10''': And you'll never keep us down. 
'''Troll 11''': And everything that you have typed is through no one's fault but your own. You have, You have to reap what you have sown, Chris. 
'''Troll 1''': the best thing you can do is you know, go back out into the real world with your [[sign]], you know. Wouldn't that be just like old days? You wouldn't have the Internet trolls all over you. You just go outside 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] 
[''rapid fire error noise''] 
[''more loud typing''] 
'''Troll 1''': What are you afraid on the sun? 
[''trolls all talk at once''] 
'''Chris''': I am not, I am not afraid 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] then why have you not, you know, uhhh I don't know. When's the last time you've been outside chris? 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I've been outside, I go outside every day. 
[''Clyde says something, phone ringing''] 
'''Chris''': I enjoy the air, anyway look, [[Max]] wants me to tell you that uhh, Julie will be at HQ in ten minutes 
''Troll'': (unclear) 
'''Clyde''': [''inaudible''] I mean, "enjoy the air"? I doubt it. I honestly think you're lying, Chris, again? 
[''more load typing''] 
'''Chris''': I am not lying to you! Ev- most everything I tell you is the truth and if I make uh I if I make a certain, if I say the wrong things its because I didn't know better at the time. 
'''Clyde''': What do you mean you don't know better? You don't know what the truth and what the uh, false is? 
'''Troll 5''': You can't tell right from wrong? 
'''Troll 8''': You lied to everyone when you said you were going to [''inaudible''] 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Because they, because, because they were, because they were big-time theories and my families wouldn't support me, I DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO [[Miyamoto Saga|MAKE A TRIP]] 
'''Troll 8''': So why lie to us? 
'''Troll 12''': My, my, aren't we a suffering Joe? 
'''Troll 8''': Stuttering Stanley, stuttering Stanley. 
'''Clyde''': OK, we don't need stupid insults, we need real insults, you know. I mean chris, again, last time you've been outside. Detail it for us. Don't just say you just went out for air, that's a lie. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] I went out with [[Bob|my father]] this morning for one thing, to go get, to go get breakfast. 
'''Clyde''': Where? I'd like to know. 
'''Chris''': And plus, and plus, plus he likes the company, he takes the newspaer with him. I read the comics and he reads evry- uh he reads the rest. 
'''Troll 7''': [''laughs''] comics 
'''Clyde''': You know I feel kind of bad for your father. All he wants is someone you know, intelligent to talk with but all he has is you. 
'''Chris''': He has [[Barb|my mother too]]. 
'''Clyde''': Well that to but someone of a male cameraderie, someone who can [''inaudible'']. You're not a very good son I take it 
'''Chris''': I AM A GOOD SON and they have raised me very hard and they have spent a lot of moeny on me and I love them very much and appreciate them very much for that. 
'''Troll 13''': Almost too much. You seem to value their input more than you actually should. You are 26 years old, you are technically an adult but uhh- 
'''Chris''': Yeah but, it's not like, it's not like uhh. Look I have emotions and feelings and I uh I'm I'm more likely to [[Autism|stick to a routine]] and in order for me to make a big change I had to end up giving it a lot of thought first. 
'''Clyde''': Look Chris, this is the sad sad truth. You are going to grow up and die alone. I'm sorry to tell you this. 
'''Chris''': [''sigh''] Look leave me, just just shut up and leave me alone, leave me alone. 
'''Clyde''': We tried to help y- 
'''Chris''': [''interrupting''] Leave my [[Love Quest|love life]] alone. 
'''Clyde''': Whatever. 
[''Chris seems to be reduced to tears and leaves, trolls all speak''] 

{{succession|label=[[Mumble|Mumble Chats]]|prevlink=[[Mumble 9|Mumble Chat 9]]|nextlink=[[Mumble 10|Mumble Chat 10]]|}}

==Links==
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?d1igtymai3y Download]

{{FanChats}}
[[Category:Mumble chats]]

JuggaloShoutOut

2010-11-01T14:51:38Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

[[File:ICP.jpg|right|thumb|100px|ICP is not happy with CWC's Bullshit]]
'''JuggaloShoutOut''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris keeps on the facepaint from his [[DivineTrial|earlier video]] while giving a "shout out" to fellow [[wikipedia:Insane Clown Posse|Insane Clown Posse]] fans who refer to themselves as ''juggalos.'' They are known for having many idiotic douchebags among their fanbase, which fits Chris's description perfectly. Chris may be a fan of ICP due to the fact he believes they are different and a stand against society while failing to realize that millions of people listen to ICP and it is in fact among the mainstream.

Chris recites a lyric from [[wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio's]] "Gangsta's Paradise", possibly misattributing it to the Insane Clown Posse.
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = JuggaloShoutOut
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sG1Wpp1NEm8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DivineTrial]]
| next = [[HairDifference]]
}}

===Transcript===

[[File:Fucking_Autistics.jpg|right|thumb|200px|[[Monthly tugboat|They don't.]] ]]
''[Chris is still wearing the facepaint and plush breasts he used during the [[DivineTrial]] video, although he has lost the red sheet of construction paper over his crotch.]''

Also, another thing.

''[Chris breaks into song.]''

We will do this gangsta's paradise! Da da da da, da, da da da. Da da da da da, da da da.

''[Chris leans into the camera.]''

Always be a member of the juggalo family! We juggalos roll.

== See Also ==
[[Hello, Juffalo]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DivineTrial]]|nextlink=[[HairDifference]]}}

{{Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

SonichuBabies

2010-10-26T19:29:30Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Changed some things around. It's not uncommon for Chris' rip offs to not be funny too.

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. Much like [[Things Chris has ripped off|everything else he steals]], Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], watch TV shows meant for older audiences, ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|the most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters.

Also worth mentioning is that ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 3]], though it was an origin story for the Combo. Since the Chaotic Combo never met in the comics until they evolved, it's possible that this is not canon in the CWCVerse, or a complete retcon.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Wild Sonichu]] and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Mommy [Nanny?]!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's why all these[?] [[Bubbles]], [[Punchy]], [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm the weird one. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we're going to [?], whee! Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Anywa-anywel-we're a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later.

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Somedays I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armour! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You [unintelligible]... C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec [unintelligible] because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bubbly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! It puzzles a gal[?].'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about Genesis. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! He's a good Christian, yes he is. ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're gonna play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna sparrin' [unintelligable]? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I knocked him out da window! Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches. [Unintelligible] punches if I wanna work[?] inside the nursery. ''Yeah.'' So, I'll do that. Because, violence is not always the answer to e- is not always the answer. So- ye- uh, self defence, it ''can'' be... the answer. ''I agree. I don't like being bullied. Me, I was- b- m- I was out there riding my... bicycle the other day, an' bully comes up to me, and he, he g-steals the bicycle and he beats me up! What's wrong with that dude?'' D'ya want me to go beat him up? ''Nah, I just need to learn self defence.'' I'm gonna go find and beat him up. Hiyaaa!

''Ya don't even know what he looks like, where ya goin' Punchy? ...Anyway. [Turns around once, leaves]''

''[Punchy re-enters]'' Th-you can't beat me Punchy[?], I'm [[Random-access humor|comical]], knock knock, who's there, orange, orange who, orange you glad I didn't say banana? ''[Pause]'' What? ''[Pause]'' Oh well. Knock knock. Who's there. Uhh, hello? What d'you mean, "hello". Well you said "who's there". Dyeah knock knock joke? I say "knock knock", you say "who's there". What? I stayed up watching [[Officer Keino|Home Movies]] one night. Place- It's a funny cartoon show, Brendon Small[?]. Not recommended for children, though. It- still maybe teenagers. Or youth- or you- think it's a PG rating. TV-PG. ''[Jiggles around]'' I don't care I watched it by myself! I was up, I was wiry[?]! I thought you were asleep! ''[Is still for a second, before leaving somewhat abruptly.]''

''[Sonee and Rosee return]'' ''Okay so... What should we do now?'' I think let's go play House! ''Yeah let's go play House again!'' Yay! Doodoodoodooboodoodoo, hi honey I'm home. ''Oh, where've you been? Mmm, I mean, how was your day sweetheart?'' It's been good, y'know, I've just been, uh, doing business and everything. M-keepin' everything- keepin' the city safe with my swift speed and lightning attacks! ''Very good. I've been minding the children. Although when I went out, I wa- I was intercepted by one of the villains! But I- gre- myself at self defence, I struck them right back! And I stood my ground.'' ''[Pause]'' That's very good. How're the children. ''I think I just told you that.'' Oh yes you did! The children are good! Hey- okay- so- that was good, let's do role reversal. ''Okay!''

''[Switch places]'' ''Hi honey, I'm home!'' Oh hi honey, how was w- how was- how was your work at journalism? ''Oh, very good, I wrote- guh story here, and there. [Pause] The bank was robbed.'' There was a v- there was a bank robbery? ''Yeah, didn't you hear that? There was a horse and mane[????]!'' Horse and mane? ''Sure, the horse was on the main!'' [''Pause]'' What? ''Iunno. [Unintelligible] comedy. Anyway, [unintelligible], and I made, bulublugh, and I made, promotion!'' Very good. The children have been doi- have been doin' good today. I mean theyuh, the slow- I mean uh, the younger one pooped all over the place. Ugh, that was a whole bunch to clean up. And, uh... and the older one missed the toilet! I didn't know what to do with that, 'cept to clean it up, and tell her that it was wrong to do it in that direction, not to aim it this way, that. So I've been cleanin' and cookin' and keeping house all day long. ''And I've been out journalism all day.'' Yeah. ''[Pause]'' Anyway uh, today was grocery shopping day so I went out for groceries. Sh- an' children ha- and children... went with me. I took them along with me. And, they were okay in the car for a little while but then there was a scr- then on the way home there was a screaming. Yeah, the younger one was tired.

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Talk:SonichuBabies

2010-10-26T19:18:46Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

Urm... I'll take a stab at transcribing. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 04:43, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

A quick google tells me that this is all something to do with the Muppets. Someone with a better knowledge of that, could you put in something about it? Ta. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 04:55, 26 October 2010 (PDT)
:{{#ev:youtube|XR_hpdVuEug}} --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 05:14, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

== BRB ==
For about an hour. All I've transcribed so far is up on the page. [[User:Enibure|Enibure]] 07:47, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris and Race? ==
Chris made Blake's lips huge, further evidence that Chris changed the character's name to avoid it being perceived as a racist cariciture is complete bullshit! [[User:GOTDANG|GOTDANG]] 12:25, 26 October 2010 (PDT)
: While Chris is certainly racist, I don't think in this case it's a racist caricature and it's a bit of a reach to stretch it that far; I think it's his muzzle, not lips. If you look at official Sonic art, or Sonichu for that matter, there's usually a different coloured muzzle around their mouths. You COULD make the argument about them not all having the muzzles as sonee and rosey though, which would be a big inconsistency. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 12:12, 26 October 2010 (PDT)
:: Also, make sure you sign yr posts on talk pages. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 12:18, 26 October 2010 (PDT)

A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story

2010-10-26T17:57:56Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Removed dead links.

{{Unfinished}}

[[Image:SonichuChristmas.jpg|thumb|Chris's logo. Nice.]]
"'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story'''" is a [[Christmas]]-themed stream-of-consciousness short story that [[Chris]] started in the late evening of 13 [[December 2009]]. It appears that Chris began writing without any clear idea of what the overall story was, which led to [[stress]] and Chris giving up halfway through - proof that even when given a basic template used for generations Chris will still fail.

As of this current time, the project remains unfinished, presumed forgotten.

[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] features a comic adaptation of this story (also unfinished).

==Synopsis==

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 2008]] in [[CWCville]]. The thoughts of CWCville's citizens have turned to shopping, "[[Santa Clause]]", and religion, in that order. The churches are full of Christians, and [[Christmas#Other confessions|Jews and Buddhists]] have also apparently gathered in the churches to celebrate, as [[Chris and religion|Chris is an idiot]]. Chris casually notes that CWCville has so many homeless people that it requires ten homeless shelters/soup kitchens.

[[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], able-bodied adults who [[Monthly tugboat|do not work]], prepare to lavish expensive gifts on their children in their state-appointed housing while across town the apparent throngs of destitute homeless people huddle for warmth in overcrowded flophouses (Chris calls them [[Mailbag 18|"Soup Hotels!"]]). Chris believes toddlers can do a lot, as [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Cera, Christine and Robbie]] hang stockings, butcher a [[wikipedia:A Visit from St. Nicholas|classic Christmas poem]] (somehow in song form - the proper [[Chris and music|melody]] only exists in Chris's head), rehearse for the overtly Christian school play, and help bake cookies. At least one of them appears to be in elementary school, so Chris likely forgot how old they were supposed to be (the eldest, Cera, is two years old). Incidentally, "Cera" used to be spelled "Cerah".

Robbie and Sonichu have a lengthy conversation about toys and video games. Most of the conversation is centered around why Sonichu doesn't get more presents. Chris adds a note suggesting that the wireless [[PS3]] controller should have some kind of special strap, so he could lash the controller to his feeble, sweaty hands without having to worry about dropping it.

[[Women's rights|Staying in the kitchen]], Rosechu and Cera bake cookies for their Christmas party, which will occur in nine days. Cera has baked a single "[[duck|candle-shaped]]" cookie for the [[Racism|token Jew]] she invited to the party. Cera tells Rosechu that she made him a vanilla cookie, so he wouldn't fall prey to some Jew food allergy from eating a peanut butter or chocolate cookie. It is unclear whether the children are allotted one cookie each, or Kevin (the Jewish character) is only given one cookie as some kind of punishment for not believing in the divinity of [[Jesus]]. Rosechu high-fives Cera for her halfhearted attempt at being culturally sensitive.

=="A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas"==

'''A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas'''

By Christian Weston Chandler, December 13, 2009.

===Act 1===

It is [[Sonichu chronology#2008|December 12, 2008]], in the City of [[Cwcville]], Virginia. The majority of the citizens of Cwcville are full of the Christmas Cheer and Holiday Joy. Carolers are singing in various parts of the city. There's a Santa Clause in the middle of the Shopping Mall. The Biggest, Greatly Decorated Christmas Tree occupies the center of CWC-Central Park. All the churches are full with all the believers, be they Christians, Jewish folk, Buddhists, and such. Christmas Trees (mostly) and Menorahs light up most every house, apartment, store and all the living spaces. Even the homeless have a place to stay in the ten Soup Kitchens/Hotels. Although there tend to be one or two humbugged individuals within each group of people.

On this jolly day, we focus on the little house on 14 Brunchville Lane, where we see the Sonichu Family putting the finishing touches on decorating their house. Mama Rosechu and Cera are baking Christmas Cookies of fun and various shapes of Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter and even Gingerbread. Christine is in her bedroom, rehearsing and trying on her Mary Outfit for the Christmas Play at the [[Barbara|AnneWeston]] Elementary School. Robbie and Papa Sonichu, with their fully-decorated Christmas Tree behind them, are putting up the Stockings by the fireplace in the Rec Room.

Robbie had just hung his stocking up, between Cera's and Christine's stockings, when he chimes in singing happily, "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care; we three children knowing Santa would soon be there." Sonichu smiles for Robbie, kneels down for eye-contact, then asks him, "Hey, partner, what do you think Santa will fill your stocking with?" Robbie thinks for a few seconds and replies, "I snail-mailed him a letter asking to put some candy in it, and maybe a copy of the new Wii Olympic game featuring Uncle Sonic. OOH! And I asked Santa to put the big Lego Police Station Set under the tree for me, along with what he will bring for Cera, Christine and you and Mama." Robbie smiles. Sonichu replies, "I don't know about me and Mama; Santa usually brings more for the children." Robbie's smile quickly fades and he asks, "Why does Santa bring less for the grown-ups?" "Well, Santa understands that adults like me and Mama require less," Sonichu replies, "and besides which, we usually treat each other on the presents." Robbie replies, "But Cera, Christine and I chip in for you and Mama too." "Yes y'all do," Sonichu replies, "on Christmas, as well as the other 364 days in your own cute ways; a smile, drawings, and the [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_August_12th,_2009|time we share together as a family."]] Robbie thinks on that for a moment, and he remembers his drawings of sailboats, Papa Sonichu winning a Wrestler's Belt in the match and the family gathered together. He also remembers the games of catching the football, running training around the yard, even High Velocity Bowling on the Playstation 3 (with a custom-fitted Wii wrist-strap attached to the Dualshock 3 Controller. I.M.H.O., ALL wireless controllers should be made with the accessory hole for the wrist straps). After all that remembering, Robbie replies with a smile, "Yes we do."

Meanwhile, in the Kitchen, Rosechu and Cera have almost finished baking all the cookies for the upcoming Christmas Party. Cera looks at some of the cookies and smells their goodness. Rosechu looks over her shoulder from the sink, almost empty of the dirty cooking tools that were to be cleaned, because most of them were already cleaned and washed, and tells Cera, "They smell really good, huh?" Cera replies, "Yes, Mama. Delicious," with a few crumbs hanging from her lips, because she ate one peanut butter cookie. The oven bell dings as the last batch of cookies are done. Rosechu washes her hands, dries them, then switches the oven off and opens the oven with an oven mitt on her right hand. and pulls the tray of cookies out. The smell of warm gingerbread refills the air. Cera wipes off her mouth with a napkin from the table, and fetches a fresh, clean spatula from the clean countertop and hands it to Rosechu. The cookies are gently lifted from the tray then are stacked onto a clean plate to cool. Cera exclaims, "I am looking forward to the party, mama. I am happy you allowed our friends from school to come too." Rosechu replies, "That's okay, sweetie." Cera continues with a question, holding a cookie in a zip-loc bag, "I've invited Kevin too; do you think he'll like this candle-shaped cookie I made for him? He told me he was Jewish, and I thought it would be appropriate." Rosechu replies, "I think he'll love it. You have made it really special with the white frosting for the wax and the yellow for the flame. Uh, what kind of cookie was it again?" "Vanilla", replies Cera, "I felt it best to keep it neutral, in case he was allergic to the peanut butter or chocolate." "Very Smart," says Rosechu with a smile, exchanging a high-five with Cera. The two put all the cookies into multiple zip-loc bags to be saved for the party on the 21st.

==See also:==
{{CWCipedia|chris=A_Sonichu_and_Rosechu_Christmas}}
*[[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], containing a comic version of this [[Fail|masterpiece]].
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]]
*[[A Sonichu Day]], another day with Sonichu's family.

{{Writings}}
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas STory}}
[[Category:Arts and Crafts]]

SonichuBabies

2010-10-26T17:56:52Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. While Chris doing that isn't uncommon (in fact, ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 2]], though it was an origin story for the Combo), Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|Fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|The most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Wild Sonichu]] and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Mommy [Nanny?]!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's why all these[?] [[Bubbles]], [[Punchy]], [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm the weird one. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we're going to [?], whee! Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Anywa-anywel-we're a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later.

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Somedays I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! [[Random-access humor|Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow]]! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armour! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You [unintelligible]... C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec [unintelligible] because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bubbly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! It puzzles a gal[?].'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about Genesis. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! He's a good Christian, yes he is. ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're gonna play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna sparrin' [unintelligable]? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I knocked him out da window! Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches.
==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

SonichuBabies

2010-10-26T17:56:31Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

'''SonichuBabies''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In it, Chris rips off the [[1980s]] cartoon ''Muppet Babies'' by recasting the [[Chaotic Combo]] as [[Sonee and Rosey|babies]]. While Chris doing that isn't uncommon (in fact, ''Sonichu Babies'' was the name of one of the stories in [[Sonichu 2]], though it was an origin story for the Combo), Chris's version of the series lacks any of the charm and wit the original cartoon had, transforming it into "Chaotic Combo as babies, doing stuff babies aren't ''supposed'' to be doing!"

Chris shows us his lack of understanding about what constitutes proper childcare by leaving the little creatures unattended. Showing that they aren't mature enough to be left alone for extended periods, the children [[Chris and sex|kiss]], ostracize Blake, and [[CWC Fighter|fight]] - Punchy even goes so far as to knock Wild out of a window, which could give Wild serious injuries.Of course,

This marks the first time Chris has actually done ''anything'' with his beloved Sonichu Characters since the [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas|Christmas Special.]] Much to the [[Trolls|Fans']] chagrin, Chris has decided to take all of his characters and turn them all into [[Sonee & Rosey|The most annoying part]] of the CWCVerse.

It should be noted that this is the first time a Sonee of Blake has appeared, casting him as [[wikipedia:Gonzo the Great|Gonzo]], despite the fact that there's nothing to compare the two together, much less the rest of the characters.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = SonichuBabies
| video = {{#ev:youtube|J3IuXNk5_LU}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[PlayingHouse]]
}}

=== Transcript ===
[[File:Wittle Cute Sonees Page 1 by johaely.jpg|thumb|Sonichu babies!]]

''[Displays four crude drawings of members of the [[Chaotic Combo]] as babies, stuck to the end of what appear to be pens or straws]'' Dooweeoooh, [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]] babies, we make our dreams come truueee...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Wild Sonichu]] and Blake in shot]'' Sonichu babies, we'll do anything for youuu...

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Sonichu (character)|Sonee]] and [[Rosechu|Rosee]] in shot]'' When your world was kinda weird and you wished that you were theeere... ''[As Rosee]'' Just close your eyes and make-believe, and you can be anywhere!

''[Drawing of a pair of human legs in shot]'' Is everything alright in here? ''[As all [[sonichus]]]'' Yes Mommy [Nanny?]!

''[Displays all drawings, dropping some]'' Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu Sonichu babies! Yaaay! Okay, let's beginning da show!

''[Sonee and Rosey]'' We're having fun today in d-in d-in da ''room'', aren't we! Y-Aren't we Rosey! Hehedat's right Sonee, we're having fun in here! Dat's why all these[?] [[Bubbles]], [[Punchy]], [[Magi-chan]], [[Angelica]], even [[Blake]]! ''[Shows other drawings, speaks as Blake]'' Hello. What? I'm the weird one. Compare me to Gonzo. I have [[niggos|black]] hair though. ''[Fumbles with sticks for a few seconds, removes all but Sonee and Rosey]'' Anyway, come with us, we're going to [?], whee! Whee, oh we're having fun, wheeeewheeee! Mm. Anywa-anywel-we're a... d-d-fun. What'd you wanna do now? I wanna do that thing like we saw on da [[TV]] show. That what ya wanna do? Yeaah! Alright! ''[Makes the baby siblings "kiss"]'' Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!

''<nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Chris and writing|Exposition!Magi-chan]] moves into shot]'' What? Ever since they watched- they seen that kissing scene, on that episode of... The Young and the Restless... they been makin' out, all the time! They lot-ov-enjoying it. Lil' Sonee has been noted saying, "she tastes like applesauce"!

''[Disembodied legs return]'' Hey kids, I got' go out now. And mukku-my husband's comin' with me. ''[Comic Chris' trademark sneakers join]'' That's right. We're going out to go- we're going out shopping. We're gonna bring back some delicious groceries, and we'll be back in a lil' while. ''[Pause]'' Wait a minute. Who's gonna mind the babies? ''Oh yeah you're right. You stay home.'' Oh yeah you're right, I'll stay home, you go out to get the groceries. ''Look how we settled that!'' Well, we s- we're always able to settle things. Even und- even our minor disagreements. Look the way we still love each other. Mmm. ''[Pieces of paper "kiss"]'' Okay, see you later.

Alright children, y'all s- y'all be carefull out here. I'm gonna keep the door op- I'm gonna keep the door open, you just uh, give me a shout if you uh, need anything. ''Okay Papa C!''

''[Bubbles and Wild]'' What's the matter, Wild? Iunno. Somedays I just don't feel well. Well, and why is that? I- I was watchin' my- I was watchin' Blues Clues the other day, and, I missed a clue! You missed a clue? How'd you do that? You're- that guy was supposed to be able to detect da clues before that guy in the green shirt does! Yeah, what was that guy's name? Uhh... heck if I know! Mm. Well, anyway... I feel, a bit, I feel bad because I missed a clue! Dun worry about it, we all make mistakes. Yeah, you're right. We all do make mistakes. I guess I'll get over this someho- s-sometime. Yeah, you will. Hey, let's go play in the t- let's go play on the merry-go-round. Okay! Whee whee whee whee whee we'll go play onna merry-go round!

''[Pause, fumbling noises offscreen. Punchy enters.]'' [[wikipedia:Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]]! [[Random-access humor|Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow]]! Samurai Pizza Cats! Miaowmiaowmiow miaow miaow! Samurai armour! Oh! A [[CWCville|communist]], huh? You [unintelligible]... C'mon sweetie, we're all doin' a TV show! Hey wait a sec [unintelligible] because I watchin' live television!

''[Replaced by Blake]'' Hyeah. Mm. I really like Bubbles. She's so pretty, she's so bubbly, she's so fun. I'm just- b- I'm just the weirdo here. I'm the one that gets... left out. It's not because I'm- it's not because of my colour, it's just because I have my own opinions beside from theirs. I do things for myself. Sultimes I like to r- sometimes I like to read, even though I don't know how to read yet! I'm different. I think for myself and things. I play too sometimes. Ba-suh-I bring danger along some-I bring danger with me sometimes, and... that makes me sad. You know. They can't apprec-me- appreciate me even though I'm young and danger... [gibberish] ''[Enter Sonee and Rosee]'' ''Wubuh listen de- listen to Blake over der? Keep on going on and on with his own self! It puzzles a gal[?].'' Yeah, well he's talkin' to himself, huh. Well I dunno. Seems kinda weird. ''[As Blake]'' Oh will you shut up! We all talk to ourselves at one time or another! ''Sorry Blake!'' Yeah, sorry dude! Aah, whatever.

''[Angelica]'' All the lovely things we r- I read in the bible. Lalalalalalalaa. Lovely things, inna bible. Good story. ''[Magi-chan]'' Mmm, what stories are you reading about there, Angelica? ''Oh, this one, I'm reading about Genesis. The story of Adam and Eve!'' Ah yes. And then the apple gets bitten. ''YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME!! [Pause] I suppose next you're gonna tell me who gets thrown out first.'' I won't, I'll just uh, give you respect, there. ''Thank you. [Pause] Oh no, Eve gets kicked out first? [Whine] Well, at least we women grew to power eventually.'' Yeah. ''[Awkward pause]'' ''Praaaise Jesus in all his lov- in all his... forgiveness for us, he died for our sins and everything.'' Yes, we are Christians. We go to church every Sunday. ''An' Nanny takes us!'' Yeah. And Chris comes with us too! He's a good Christian, yes he is. ''So what you wanna do now?'' Let's go play with Legos! ''Okay! Wheeee! We're gonna play with Legos!''

''[Long pause. Punchy and Bubbles come into view, before being hastily retracted. Chris mumbles to himself before replacing Bubbles with Wild Sonichu]'' Hey Wild, you wanna sparrin' [unintelligable]? Okay Punchy! ''[Punchy launches himself at Wild, falls over]'' Huh. Got me there. ''[Wild "hits" Punchy]'' Got me again. Well, I'm gonna get you now. PEWWWW! ''[Punchy flies into Wild, both go offscreen. Punchy returns alone]'' Oh, shoot. I knocked him out da window! Yo c'mon[?], come in back in da window! ''I'm really hurt! You had me lyin' in a bush!'' I'm sorry. ''[Awkward silence]'' Aah, it's okay. Just be careful to watch yer punches.
==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]
*[[Sonichu 3]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[PlayingHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T14:49:44Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

'''PlayingHouse''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the ''[[Family Guy]]'' episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "[[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

We get a good look at what kind of parent Chris would be. Despite being a stay-at-home dad, he finds it necessary to send Crystal to pre-school to learn things he should be teaching her himself. Like how to tell time, colors, and shapes. She somehow knows how to read and write, but that's more likely to have come from her journalist mother. On car trips, Chris foists responsibility to his daughter in keeping her screaming tard brother quiet. Reginald was depicted sitting in a booster seat instead of a high chair. This implies one of three things: Chris doesn't know the difference; Chris is irresponsible to seat an infant in an unsecured hunk of plastic; or Reginald is big enough to be a toddler. This last scenario, given Reginald's inability to speak, not being toilet trained, and frequency in soiling himself suggests he inherited [[Autism|a lot]] from his father. [[Sonichu]], Chris's other son, is missing from the video.

We also get a glimpse of what Chris believes a married sex life would be like. It appears that Chris thinks Jackie should cheer him on or encourage him by telling him he's doing well, (''"Oh yeah, you do it good"'') much more like a [[Barbara Chandler|mother]] than a wife. The implications of this are, while creepy, of little surprise - that Chris needs his future wife to constantly coddle him in the same way Barbara does now.

Also of note is Chris' first use of what appears to be a makeshift stage with lighting - though as with everything else Chris does with [[Chris and cinematography|camerawork and lighting]], it is badly done - the viewer can see one of the corners of the box because of the shadow, the light is still too low, and the camera isn't centered on the scene.
==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[SonichuBabies]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Okay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a [[Women's Rights|ballerina dancer]]. Either that, or a [[Officer Nasty|police wo- police woman]]. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little [[homos|partner]]. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, [[chris and death|he's sound asleep already]], hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

''["Jackie" and "Chris" are on the bed. The bed is only 4 units wide, so both characters are teetering on the edge.]'' And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' ''[Chris begins to [[rape|do the inevitable]], but luckily notices in time that society seems to require that pesky "asking" part]'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight. ''[Chris, avoiding the previous tragedy of getting the figures on the bed, just drops the minifigures on the floor.]''

The e-

==See also==

*[[A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[SonichuBabies]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:46:34Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: HOW DO I EDIT CWCKI sorry for the fuckups.

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "[[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]].

Also of note is Chris' first use of what appears to be a makeshift light box - though as with everything else Chris does with a [[Chris and cinematography|Camera]], it is poorly made, lit and filmed.

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a [[jerkops|police wo- police woman]]. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little [[homos|partner]]. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, [[chris and death|he's sound asleep already]], hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

The e-

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:45:09Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Couldn't link properly. Sorry for newfagness.

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "[[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]]. Just like [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

Also of note is Chris' first use of what appears to be a makeshift light box - though as with everything else Chris does with a [[Chris and cinematography|Camera]], it is poorly made, lit and filmed.

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a [[jerkops|police wo- police woman]]. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little [[homos|partner]]. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, [[chris and death|he's sound asleep already]], hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

The e-

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

PlayingHouse

2010-10-26T03:43:41Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Added some stuff about lights.

Chris plays with some [[LEGO]] people like a [[pedofork]]. Most notably, he points out the [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|''pees and poops'']] of his fictional children. Chris most likely got this phrase from the Family Guy episode "Whistle While Your Wife Works", where Herbert tells his dog to make these.

Also, this video suggests that, if they were to be married, Chris would want Jackie to work as a journalist during the day while he [[Monthly tugboat|lies around at home]], "taking care of the children".

It is interesting to note that while "[[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]]" is portrayed as a sweet little girl, her little brother "[[Reginald Chandler|Reginald]]" is only referred to when Chris laments him [[Christian Weston Chandler|expelling various bodily fluids and crying all night]]. Just like [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

Also of note is Chris' first use of what appears to be a makeshift [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_box|light box]] - though as with everything else Chris does with a [[Chris and cinematography|Camera]], it is poorly made, lit and filmed.

{{Infobox/video
| name = PlayingHouse
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7wHqScoso3s}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Other|text}} {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = Unclear
| previous = [[A Workout]]
| next = [[Wigwam]]
}}

== Transcription ==

Òkay, here's another story - you know it's[?] love and glory. Alright, this is me. This is my sweetheart. These are our children, that's, uh, Reginald, this one's Crystal. Reginald's da baby. Younger brother. This'll-this'll double as, table, and uh, beds. At their respective times. So... on with the show.

AnIhome. And my wife's coming home from work. ''[High pitched voice]'' ''Hi honey halhome!'' [''Normally''] Oh hi sweetheart, how ya doin'. How was your day at work. ''Oh it's been good, I'm just happy to see you home safe.'' [''Kissing sound''] Kiiiiiss. Anyways, journalism is very hard. Yes it is, I hear. So, what happened today? ''Aw, we [unintelligable] my article got printed, it got some very huge responses'' [''Wiggles "Jackie", tips her over''] Really. ''Yeah! But unfortunately uhh dey laid off Wilkinson at work.'' Lllayday off Wilkinson! What they do that for? '''Pparently he wasn't keepin' up!'' Oh. That's a shame.

[''"Children" slide in front of the screen''] Wheeewheewheewheewhee! [''Lego figures appear unfazed'']

''So, how're the kids?'' D-dey're doin' okay. You know, there's a... pla... they're just playing. Uh. Actually, uh. Cry-actually Crystal is uh, doin' her preschool homework and uh, Reg-Reginald's been uh, been a messy lil' [[Chris|baabychild]]! Made his lil' [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|peeps n' poops]]! And he we-and he went... weewee all over the bathroom, it was terrible mess. Terrible mess. I cl-had to clean all that up and of course I changed all of his [[Butt garments|diapers]] too. When they needed changin'. I fed the boy. I fed the girl, too. [''Awkward silence. Chris knocks over "Jackie"''] Anyway, they're doin' okay. ''So how's uhhwubde-dendibeready?'' Yes, dinner will be ready in a f-about fifteen minutes so you can go uh, put your f-put your things away and I-come to dinner. ''Alright.'' ''["Jackie" flies off, followed by "Chris"]''

''[Table and chairs are set out''] [[Burger King|Dinnertime]]! Numnumnumnum! [''Lego figures join table'']

[''Offscreen''] Oh sh-which ones did I say? Blue one's Reginald, orange one's Crystal. And Reginald needs a booster seat.

Mmm, anyway, we just finished off dinner. ''[[navy|Mmm, that was delicious dear]]''. Why thank you. It was a-was a specialty that I have learned from the uh-home and-the uh, food channel. New recipe. Chicken calzone. An', mashed potatoes, n' green beans. ''Myeah, it was very good''. ''[As "Reginald]'' ''Bububububoobee! Th!'' Aah, too bad lil' Reginald end up uh, throwing up in some places... ''[As "Crystal"]'' ''Daddy, can I go my woom now, I think I'm gonna do my... uh, write my diary, and y'know guh get ready for bed soon.'' Okay sweetheart, y-go k-Crystal, go take care of yourself. ''Thank you daddy! Dababubudee!''

''[As Jackie]'' ''I'll now take Reginald off your hands, and you can take care of the uh-dinner table and all that, okay.''

Alright so, I take care of the dishes... Duhduhduhduhduhduhdadada... And then a lil' while later, go upstairs t'... tuck children into bed... ''Daddy, that was a very lovel- very nice story you read to me.'' I'm glad you enjoyed it, Crystal. ''Daddy, would you th-do you know what I might be when I grow up?'' No. What do you think you might be when you grow up? ''I thiink, I want to be a ballerina dancer. Either that, or a [[jerkops|police wo- police woman]]. I'm still undecided.'' That's alright, you ma-you take your time, make up your mind, it'll come to you, dear. Night! [''Fumbles with toy''] Oops. [''"Kisses"''] Goodnight sweetheart. Goodnight little girl. ''Goodnight!''

Now we tuck Re- And now we tuck Reginald in. ''Dabadabadabadubu!'' [''"Kiss"''] Mmm, well you sleep tight little [[homos|partner]]. Don't be makin' no cries tonight. ''Dubehbedubuh.'' Mmm. Wow, [[chris and death|he's sound asleep already]], hope he stays that way for the rest of the night.

[''Begins to press "Jackie" and "Chris" into the "bed"''] Mmm, legos don't want to fit together.

And now, me n' my wife in bed. Mmm... So what's up ho- what's up for tomorrow? ''Well I got another case to report... I got me doi- they got me doin' a trial with uh- some- with some- against some dude who uh, murdered somebody. S'posed to be really big, so... Take it up on that.'' Alrigh... Mmm... I got m- got my- tomorrow's shopping day. Have to deal with the uh... Sh- Have to deal with the, little Reginald, crying on the back seat with me, so... Crystal will keep him calm. ''That's good...'' So, you wanna do it? ''Yeah, why not.'' ''[Chris pushes the lego figures together]'' ''Oh yeah, you do it good.'' [''Chris begins to bang the figures together painfully, in a sex scene that lasts for approximately 5 seconds''] ''Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah awhwww, good, goin' great, you did good. Yay.'' Ahh, goodnight. Sleeep tight.

The e-

==See also==

[[A Sonichu Day|A Sonichu Day]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[A Workout]]|nextlink=[[Wigwam]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Prank calls

2010-10-20T15:37:17Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Snake Productions Calls Barbara Chandler */

It's no secret that the Chandler home gets many '''prank calls''', thanks to [[Chris]]'s e-fame and the fact he actually revealed his phone number to the entire Internet. Multiple times. However, many of the brave souls that call the Chandler home record their calls and upload them to [[YouTube]], providing an insight into the Chandlers' thoughts.

==Prank Call Collection==
A collection of various prank calls made to the almighty [[Bob Chandler|Internet Lumberjack]] on a Sunday afternoon.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|3whf9k9z_Nk}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Yeah, how you doin'? My name is Chris, I'm from Boston.
 '''Bob:''' Hello? I don't understand your conversation.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Would it be possible for me to get your name?
 '''Bob:''' You called me.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Um, there's somebody playing games with the phone.
 '''Bob:''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I'm just answerin' my telephone.[''Inaudible.''] You called me. What the hell is on your mind, man?
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''again, speaking over Bob''] We're connected to each other through a computer because somebody's sittin' in a room, hacking telephone numbers.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? What's on your mind? You called me, and now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You're a narcissist. You've got a personality di-disorder. Did you know that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't have a damn thing! You're the one that's a guh-guh-gutter creep [''Inaudible''] - that's just what you are.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob again''] I know your weaknesses. I know your weaknesses.
 '''Bob:''' Tell me what you want. I'm- I answered the phone, now tell me what you want. You rang my damn number.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' You see, what you're doing is, you're burning up ''tens'' of ''thousands'' of dollars.
 '''Bob:''' I ain't burnin' up nothin', fella. Now you tell me what the hell you want, or I'm gonna hang this phone up. I don't need ''your'' crap.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Sir, you've just threatened me. And I've got you recorded now. Now you've committed a felony.
 '''Bob:''' That's good. I'm just gonna hang up if you don't tell me what you want.
 '''Chris the Hacker (soundboard):''' Can you hear that stuff at the other end?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon? I didn't understand you.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I still didn't understand you. [''Inaudible.''] - speak distinctly.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' [''talking over Bob''] I've already told you who I am. I've already told you who I am. This is sheriff's depar-Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' I don't understand why you're callin' me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' What insurance department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ''call'' you! You called me! What are- Who are you, and what's goin' on?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm Deputy Martin from the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Would you speak slowly and one syllable at a time so I can understand you?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza. I'm here at Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' You're mayor of Big Daddy's Pizza? Is that what you said?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' I can't understand you. You need to take a diction lesson.
 [''Barbara is heard in the background urging Bob on'']
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm gonna advise you now, this is the sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Are- are you the sheriff's department?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Yeah.
 '''Bob:''' Good. Why did you call me?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' No one's called ya.
 '''Bob:''' No one's called me? Then why didn't my phone ring?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Well, you need to stop- to quit callin' here.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you! Listen!
 [''call dropped; redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' [''in the middle of a conversation with Barb'']
 '''Barbara:''' What's the phone number comin' in?
 '''Bob:''' Nothin'.
 '''Barbara:''' Well, hang up!
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who the hell is this?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Hello, I'm calling, this is Officer Martin from the sheriff's department. How can I help you this evening?
 '''Bob:''' [''chuckling''] I don't know, you can't help me. You're calling me.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Callin' you and cussin' you, OK? Why would I call you when I'm on the sheriff's department why would I call somebody and cuss them out?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know.
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Who is this?
 '''Bob:''' Who is ''this''? For cryin' in a bucket...
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' This is the sheriff's depar- Deputy Martin from sheriff's department.
 '''Bob:''' Well, insurance department of what?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' Big Daddy's Pizza.
 '''Bob:''' Big Daddy's Pizza. OK, Big Daddy. Will you please quit callin' me and leave my phone alone?
 '''Officer Martin (soundboard):''' I'm advising you to stop calling.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called you before you god danged you...[interrupted] - pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
 '''Bob:''' YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! Don't call me again! Get down in your damn low-life gutter, okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] Hey, fuck you, you stupid cocksucker.
 '''Bob:''' I don't play that. And don't call me again! You bastard!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Fuck you.
 '''Bob:''' Forget my number! Alright?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Whatta ya need done?
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Duncan Construction.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' This is who?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' This is Frank Garrett.
 '''Bob:''' Well, Frank, what is on your mind?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Hey, does your mama still got, uh, worms crawlin' out her pusshy?
 '''Bob:''' What is on your mind, sir?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again or what?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, you motherfucker! Get off of my telephone and quit bothering' it! Okay?
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' [interrupting] No.
 '''Bob:''' Get down in your low-life gutter and stay there!
 '''Frank Garrett (soundboard):''' No.
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, why are you calling my number?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Bob:''' Well then... uh why are you speaking with me?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I have been called 15 times.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why are you callin' me every 3 minutes for?!?!?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, I'm sitting here in my living room; watching TV.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Why don't you get your brass balls and come up here buddy?
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't know who you are or where you are, but... and I don't really care! But you... I'll let you talk to my wife and you tell her why your cussin' at me!
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' OK
 '''Bob:''' ''[In the background, Bob and Barbara converse]''
 ''[troll holds in laugh]''
 '''Barbara:''' Hello?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Barbara:''' Who are you calling?
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I didn't call you
 '''Barbara:''' Well, you're fucked up somehow; goodbye.
 '''Gay Florist (soundboard):''' I'll bust your head wide open if I could see you!
 [''redialed'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' Hello?
 [''somber music plays in the background'']
 '''Bob:''' Why are you callin' on me on a Sunday afternoon?
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' I didn't call you, I'm just trying to go to sleep.
 '''Bob:''' I wish you'd quit bothering my telephone, I'm trying to watch TV. I'm an 82 year old man, now cut it out!
 '''Depressed Guy (soundboard):''' My fuckin' life's not doing too well right now, dude.
 ''[call ends]''
 ''[music goes on for a while then fades out]''

==Failed Prank Call==
In this video, a gaggle of trolls attempt to prank call Chris, yelling [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JULAYYYYY]] into the phone. Instead, they get Bob, who instantly realizes the prank and yells at the trolls.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|SZyS7SDVyMQ}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Troll 1:''' [''whispers insults at the time it's taking for someone to answer'']
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' JULAAAAY JULAAAAY JULAAAAY!
 '''Bob:''' What the hell's that supposed to mean? That you're an idiot?
 '''Troll 2:''' Whoa whoa whoa, are you Bob Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn't matter who I am, who is this idiot I'm talking to on the other end?
 '''Troll 2:''' Umm
 '''Bob:''' You got some funny ass ideas about playing games of mind on the telephone don't you. Are you six years old or somethin'?
 '''Troll 1:''' [unintelligible] We got his fucking dad. Shit.

==Chris Calls Bob ==
In this video, a troll calls the Chandler home, using a soundboard of Chris-chan to prank the Chandler home. Note how Bob either recognizes that the call is a prank or he doesn't recognize his own son's voice; also, note that he has a caller ID phone.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|oR27uIDz9d4}}
</center>

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm fine, but you're wasting your time calling my phone, you know that?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Don't say that.
 '''Bob:''' Because it doesn- it doesn't make any noise. All it does is flash a light. So it really doesn't bother me, I just thought I would tell you that you're wasting your time
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 [Call likely cut - redialed]
 '''Bob:''' I thought I told you, we don't answer any calls that have unknown names on them or unknown numbers.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I did not mean to give off the impression of being-
 [Redialed]
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm high-functionally autistic.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello!
 '''Bob:''' Hello.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Good evening sir, how are you?
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty good.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' I'm good!
 '''Bob:''' Why do you bother to call this phone?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Are you really at a 14 Branchland Court?
 '''Bob:''' Yes, I am. Why do you bother to call this phone, because the phone doesn't ring.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' What the hell? Why are you- why have you started doing this in the first place, you little son of a bitch?
 '''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore.
 '''Bob:''' Now don't, don't cuss at me, fella.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Shut the hell up.
 '''Bob:''' I'll start cussing at at you.
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You weak little son of a bitch!
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella. Kid. Whatever you dumbass is.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[heard in the background]'' Hang up the phone!
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian.
 ''[more indistinct conversation in the background, "Hang up the phone!" etc.]''
 '''Bob:''' Well listen, listen. The phone doesn't ring, all it does is light a light, so you're not botherin' me and every once in a while I try and tell you people that you're wastin' your damn time. Okay, you're not botherin' us. So why the hell do you do-waste all that effort? Put it in to something con- constructive and creative.
 '''Barbara:''' ''[interjects]'' Go to Haiti!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, go to Haiti and help those people, or go to hell, one or the other. ''[Chris soundboard says something simultaneously]''
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Yes- Yes I agree with you, this is frustrating.
 [''Bob hangs up'']

=='Epic Crazy Lady' calls Bob==
A troll using a soundboard of a super loud Fundamentalist yells at Bob over the phone, while Bob throws insults at her and makes comments on how he can't understand her, as she continues to get angrier.

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{{quote| Listen boy, you get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!| Bob}}

===Transcript===
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Who do you think you are?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who do you think you're talking to?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Do you know that you're not supposed to talk that way?
 '''Bob:''' Who are you?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem. God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon, who or what is...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] God needs to move in your life.
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon. I can't even begin to understand what you're saying.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God needs to move in your life ''severely''!
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you quit dialing my number, and go somewhere and play a game with the gutter rats?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Bring yourself over here! I'll show you what's the matter! OK?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you come over here and I'll show ''you'' what's the matter?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Nine hundred Collins Road, bring yourself, buddy.
 '''Bob:''' Hey, buddy. Listen, boy.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, boy. You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there. You understand?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I am the woman of the house, and you don't call me and ask me who my daddy is.
 '''Bob:''' I don't know what you are, or who you are, and I don't really care. But you are invading my privacy, and you are cussing at me, and I don't like it.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Call my house and talk that way. I tell you what, why don't you call my husband, and tell my husband that?
 '''Bob:''' I don't know who you are or who you think I am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Yeah, that's what you are, a big old chicken.
 '''Bob:''' Who do think I am?
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' God forgive you.
 '''Bob:''' I wish that you knew what number you called, because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call your house, sir, ma'am...
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Interrupting''] No, you are!
 '''Bob:''' ...or whatever you are.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You ain't no man. I don't know who you are, but I tell you what, I live at 900 Collins Road. Why don't you bring yourself over here?
 '''Bob:''' I'll let you talk to my wife, maybe she can talk some sense into your head.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' Fine.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Bob says something to Barbara about a "goddamn screwy woman." Barbara tells him: "Hang up on her. I ain't talkin' to nobody, this time of night. Hang it up."''] You better check the number that you called, because you're not talking to anybody that you know.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' I ain't called your house. Who do you think you are, calling my house?
 '''Bob:''' I haven't called your house. I am the one who picked up the phone and said, "Hello."
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' You have got a issue problem.
 '''Bob:''' [''In the background, Barbara tells Bob to hang up because he's getting on her nerves.''] I don't have an issue problem with anybody, but please quit calling my number.
 '''Epic Crazy Lady (soundboard):''' [''Unintelligible''] bring yourself over here and I'll show you what a whooping is.
 [''Bob hangs up'']
 '''Harlem Barber:''' Barbershop
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass in the gutter and stay there.
 '''Harlem Barber:''' [''Whistles'']
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey, buddy.

==Bob Calls Himself==
In this one, Bob seems not to be able to recognize his own voice, and his view on trolls is the same as Chris's, "Internet people who persecute people". Also, Snorlax makes an appearance.

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{{quote| I ain't got no black ass!| Barbara, at| Bob |color=silver|size=360%}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Bob:''' Why are you calling me?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling your phone, why are you calling my phone?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Bob:''' Well who are you? You're the one that made the call.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who do you think I am?!
 '''Bob:''' I don't know wha- who you are but I know you're in Oklahoma.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call the number; my phone rang.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Why I-I answered the phone now tell me what you want you rang my damn number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't ring your number but if you're in Oklahoma you shouldn't be upset like that.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I wish that you- you knew what number you called because I think you're calling the wrong number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call anybody I just picked up the phone; let me explain something to you, can I do that? I-I'm a Texan now can I-can I explain something to you?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Good.
 '''Bob:''' Okay. There is on the Internet... a a bunch of trolls, now they persecute people and these these trolls have found somewhere somebody that have engineered a set of software that allows them to call people on the telephone and put in any particular number they want to put in as the caller ID. Now this-the telephone company knows about this and the federal government knows about this, to the point where they've even gived it a named called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. And I think if I-if you think that I called your number and that's what's happening to you because I did not call your number. But that's-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' [''Speaking over''] Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' -what's happened to me.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who are you?
 '''Bob:''' Who am I? I'm Robert Chandler and I live in Ruckersville, Virginia.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, I'm 82 years old but I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' What's on your mind, you called me now shut up or get off the phone or speak!
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm talking to you what do- else do you want?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't have an issue problem with anybody but please quit calling my number.
 '''Bob:''' I didn't call you but I'm trying to explain how these people do it. Okay?
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Nobody's playing games with the phone unless you are.
 '''Bob:''' Well, look: I'm 82 years old, all right? I was born in Fort Worth. I'm basically a neighbor of yours or at one time I was. I have a cousin who lives in Tulsa. Okay? I have a lot of Cherokee relatives that live in your state also.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't know what you are or who you are and I don't really care.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm trying to be nice to you and to explain what's happening. You're being a victim of the Internet people that persecute people, because I didn't call your number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I still didn't understand you.
 '''Bob:''' Well I don't wha-wha how can I explain it any simpler to you. They-
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen boy
 '''Bob:''' -they have a program in-in their computer which allows them to dial numbers anywhere in the country and put in as the caller ID any particular telephone number they want to.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Listen you motherfucker get down in your lowlife gutter and stay there!
 '''Bob:''' Listen I didn't start cussing at you now-now-now just [[Bob walks in|cut it down]], cool it down; I'm trying to be nice to you.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' I don't need your crap.
 '''Barbara:''' Hello there.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hello.
 '''Barbara:''' Sir or mam or whatever the hell you are.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Who the hell is this?!
 '''Barbara:''' Don't you call up here-now look don't you call up here cussing at my husband.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Get down in you lowlife gutter and stay there
 '''Barbara:''' We didn't have-we didn't have anything to do with this damn...er...thing that's going on. There are a lot of- lot of weird people out here and you might be included as one of them if you are calling us and cussing us out. Now hang up the phone and forget the number.
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' You get your black ass down in the gutter and stay there!
 '''Barbara:''' I ain't got no black ass! You get your gutter ass out in the gutter and shut up!
 '''Bob (soundboard):''' Hey buddy.

== Liquid Bob calls Bob ==
A troll pretending to be a Liquid version of Bob calls Bob. In this video we learn that Bob doesn't know of Sonic, and thinks Chris invented Sonichu himself. Also, we learn that the trolls are spoofing the telephone company.

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{{quote|S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G.|Bob, repeating himself}}

===Transcript===
'''Bob:'''-FBI and everybody else, that there's a system that goes on that says that anybody that wants to do it that knows how with the proper software and stuff can call any number in the country that they want to and can put any particular phone number in the system as if it came from that number to the people: called spoofing. S-P-O-O-F-I-N-G. Now-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Is-
 '''Bob:''' -you can call your local police department if you like about that but that's the name they all know it as: spoofing. Now I'm not calling your number some dizzy kook out there on the Internet is playing games with ya.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you telling me that somebody out there on the Internet is using your phone number in an attempt to pin the blame on your family?
 '''Bob:''' That's right. It goes on all the time, I've gotten calls from people everywhere. I've even-I've even uh gotten calls where I was terrorizing people and I wasn't even on the phone!
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh, sir I-I do not happen to know if anybody on the Internet who is drawing cartoons, I-I don't know I don't use the Internet but if that's-
 '''Bob:''' I don't use the Internet either, but my son does.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh-
 '''Bob:''' These people they hate him because he has copyright, and he just won a case in England on copyright, and there are people in the world that hate him, there are people in the world that love him but there are people in the world that hate him and the people in the world that hate him are going to all sorts of ends to try and destroy him.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son-your son is a
 '''Bob:''' -one of the ways they do it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Your son is a cartoonist?
 '''Bob:''' Yes he is.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's very-that's a very nice to hear. I hope he's doing good.
 '''Bob:''' Well he doesn't make a living at it but he's autistic, he's shares his cartoons with the world and has for the last ten or twelve years.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I've got a grandson who's into cartoons like that, he might know 'em. He's on the Internet, uh, looking up cartoons on the Internet and, uh, I think it's pretty nifty to be quite honest with you. That-
 '''Bob:''' Well the ones that my son does is called Sonichu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Sonichu? Is that some Japanese thing or what?
 '''Bob:''' Well it's Sonic and chu.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh so-
 '''Bob:''' Like a Pikachu and like the Sonic.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well my grandkids are into this little thing called Pikachu but I wouldn't know anything about that. You taught your son-your son is a creator of this character?
 '''Bob:''' Ever since before the year 2000-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh
 '''Bob:''' -he's been putting and drawing them and putting them on the Internet with the world.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh oh I see where this- I just wanted to find w-where these telephone numbers are up and coming from because-
 '''Bob:''' I'm not calling you, you can go and check with your local police department if you like but there is called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoo-
 '''Bob:''' They gon' come and say they can't stop it either,
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Spoofing.
 '''Bob:''' I-I could be put in jail for just terrorizing people cause my number comes in on their caller ID.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Can I-is this Mister Chandler right, your name is Mister Chandler right?
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, you-your
 '''Bob:''' Robert Chandler, I've got nothing to hide.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There-there are
 '''Bob:''' I'm eighty-two years old and I'm retired from GE.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' There are other people I have heard I think one of my sons has been receiving calls from that number as well. I did a look-read up of that as well, my son who is very into the Internet did a look up of that number and found out that most people are getting calls from that number as well.
 '''Bob:''' Well you see these people are using our number to try and get us in trouble.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I am very sorry to hear that sir.
 '''Bob:''' Well that's just how this world goes there are some lousy people in this world [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I-uh oh man I uh-- have you reported this incident yet?
 '''Bob:''' Well you try and get in touch with the FBI, have you ever tried to get in touch with he FBI, you can't get in touch with the FBI. They don't even have any phone numbers and if you find a phone number you then get an answering machine and nobody ever calls you back. They get no money for this kind o' thing, this Internet crime stuff-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are-are you saying they are purposely ignoring this-
 '''Bob:''' [''speaking over''] -mistaken identity and everything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -they are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' I beg your pardon?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' They are purposely ignoring this?
 '''Bob:''' That's right they are purposely ignoring it, the telephone company will tell you the same thing. They all have this thing named and it's called spoofing.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' So they know this thing exists but they won't do anything about it.
 '''Bob:''' That's right they won't do a thing about it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Yeah-
 '''Bob:''' The caller ID won't block it or anything.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Are you a Republican sir?
 '''Bob:''' I'm a-I'm a Republican yes.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That is-
 '''Bob:''' I didn't vote for Obama that's-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I did not vote for Obama either.
 '''Bob:''' Heh. What part of New York are you in?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think we live around Upstate New York, I-we're very conservative-
 '''Bob:''' -Upstate New York once, I lived in Utica.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I have a cousin who lives in Utica, I don't know if he's still living there but I haven't spoke to him in ten years-
 '''Bob:''' Yeah I worked with GE up there once bout forty years ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' General Electric?
 '''Bob:''' Yeah General Electric.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh, that's a very nice-I heard that's a very nice employ- steady job.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah well I retired from there so.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just want-
 '''Bob:''' I enjoyed it, I used to go hiking in the Adirondacks and up there in the-in the mountains of uh--whate-- white mountain I guess it is they call it or something.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think that's what we'll call it, it's very cold up here too; very very cold.
 '''Bob:''' I could remember some days when it was 35 below 0 up here. I got my tootsie-
 '''Liquid Bob:''' We just had sixteen, sixteen inches of snow. I was-
 '''Bob:''' Would you believe I'm sitting in Charlottesville if you know where that is, in Virgin-Virginia
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I think it's
 '''Bob:''' next to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, I can see the mountains from my house. But we have right now two feet of snow in our yard and one time we had over three feet; bout two weeks ago.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That- holy moly! Are you able to get on the road safely?
 '''Bob:''' Well I-I parked my car next to the street and I finally we got a plow and I can get in and out right now because I'm next to street but for about a week we couldn't get out at all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Huh- that's very scary to hear that you guys get that much snow during the winter months.
 '''Bob:''' It stopped Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and New York too, the same storms. It put the government out of business for seven days up there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Oh, that just goes to shown ya you can't underestimate nature.
 '''Bob:''' That's right you can't, that's what I learned while I was in Utica in Upstate New York there.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' It gets pretty bad up here let me tell. It-we had an ice storm about twenty years ago, it took the power out for nearly a month, all the cars were frozen, we couldn-we couldn't even use our refrigerator, oh it was scary we were afraid it wasn't even gonna come back on.
 '''Bob:''' Well I'm [''chuckles''] I'm sure, well I can remember it we used to get all that what do you call it; lake effect snow?
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh what was-
 '''Bob:''' -snow up there, the snow that comes off the moisture off the great lake there? And uh I can remember three feet of snow in Utica
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Uh yeah uh that's-
 '''Bob:''' [''laughs'']
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -it hasn't been that bad yet, hopefully it won't be that bad in the future, winter months almost over and I can tell ya I want to get out on my boat again. And fish don't- and I go snapper fishing and they don't come 'till August.
 '''Bob:''' That's right, I remember a joke about it up there, you-you had two seasons: winter and the 4th of July.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' [''forced laughing''] Yeah uh- that's what they call it: Christmas and July [''chuckles'']
 '''Bob:''' That's right.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I'm gotta be going now, well I just wanted to clear this-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry just ignore those calls cause it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well I just wanted to be-verify this cause occasionally people have called us and we just wanted to see if it was important or not. Cause I do have family in Virgi-
 '''Bob:''' Somebody might not like your son on the Internet and that's why they're- number and everythin' and that's why they're using our number to terrorize you.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh that probably answers some random number- back when I was little boy we used to just type in random numbers and the-phone just make ran- calls. I'm not proud of it or anythin' that's just what we did, it's none of this scary stuff that involves computers and everything; we did it in good fun we weren't tryin' to be antagonistic about it.
 '''Bob:''' Well there you are- for a while there they were even trying to talk my son into committing suicide over the Internet.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well that's just wrong.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah it's disgusting and the federal government won't do a thing to help us- or the local government or anybody.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Have you gotten the police involved yet?
 '''Bob:''' It's just uh- it's just we've learned how to cope with it that's all.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' That's a-that's a shame. I hope they- you know- don't go too far with this or you better get the police involved.
 '''Bob:''' We have but they don't do anything; they say this is an Internet matter it's federal government
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Apparently-
 '''Bob:''' -federal government says we don't have any money.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' -according to my son the police say we don't give crap about goes on the Internet; they only care if it goes on-
 '''Bob:''' That's absolutely correct.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Well uh I have to be going now Mister Chandler it's uh-
 '''Bob:''' -sorry, sorry somebody's been botherin' you but it ain't us.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' I'll just keep-I'll just- I'll block uh this whoever spoofin' me from now on. Well thank you for clearin' this up I uh hope things go better for you and your son. Have a good day sir.
 '''Bob:''' We've learned to just ignore it.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' You should. Well have a good day and I hope the winter months don't give you the cold shoulder [''laughs'']
 '''Bob:''' I'll be alright.
 '''Liquid Bob:''' Alright take care now.

== Snake Productions Calls Bob Chandler ==
Not much of a prank, but rather an informative call. From this brief conversation between troll and dad we learn that Bob is fully aware that Chris posted their dox in numerous places on the Internet, and actually thinks [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|his]] [[For Julie's Eyes Only|son]] [[April 16 Fetish Vids|is]] [[Twin Falling Towers|a]] [[Sonichu Special 4|better]] [[Sonichu 10|person]].

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=== Transcript ===

 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, hello?
 '''Bob:''' Hello? Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Oh, oh, hey, um, I've been hearing that, uh...
 '''Bob:''' Why you ringin' my number?
 '''Troll''': Um, your son's kinda like getting you through some trouble on the, uh...online. He's giving out his- giving out your home phone number.
 '''Bob:''' My home phone number's been on the Internet four years, and I don't care. Now why you callin' my number?
 '''Troll:''' Yeah, your...I think you heard about how your, uh, [[Tour of Chris's House|videos of your house]] [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|were on the Internet]]?
 '''Bob:''' I've heard a lot of stuff, and most of it is a bunch of trash, okay?
 '''Troll:''' Well, um...
 '''Bob:''' Why you callin' my number?
 ''' Troll:''' W-w-w-w-w-wait a minute, wait. Um...
 '''Bob:''' I'm gettin' kinda sick and tired of you people botherin' my home phone number. This is my private phone number, now get rid of it.
 '''Troll:''' Wait, wait, I'm not trying to piss you off.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you are, because you're comin' in on an unknown blocked number call.
 '''Troll:''' Your-
 '''Bob:''' If you were up and aboard and above board(?) and really doin' what you say you ki- think you're doin', then your number would come in along with your name.
 '''Troll:''' [''quietly''] Shit, whatever lumberjack.
 '''Bob:''' Yeah, you can't argue with that, can you? Now quit callin' my damn number and leave it alone!
 '''Troll:''' Okay [[Chris_and_race#Parental_influence|KKK cracker.]]
 '''Bob:''' Okay, cracker.
 [''Troll snickers'']
 '''Bob:''' Get your act together. I'm 82 years old, and I've survived a long damn time. The way you're goin', you're not gonna make it very far.
 '''Troll:''' Can't raise your damn son right.
 '''Bob:''' I raised my son. [[Chris and psychology|My son is fine]]. [[Fail|My son has done a lot better than you have]], [[Chris and anger|he's a hell of a lot nicer than you are]], he doesn't go around callin' people all the damn time.
 '''Troll:''' Hey, I'm nice, but I'm just- I'm just trying to let you know, you're trying to, you're kinda being an ass on the other line.
 '''Bob:''' No, I'm not being an ass. I'm just gettin' tired of [[Chris and his ego|you people out there thinkin' you're God's gift to the world when you're not]].
 '''Troll:''' W-well, I'm- I'm not thinking, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, look at yourself...
 '''Troll:''' I do.
 '''Bob:''' ...and say "Now what do I do to deserve to judge other people?..."
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm not-
 '''Bob:''' "...I'm so great that I can judge other people, and they're so damn far below me?" No, I think you should get off the phone and find yourself somethin' constructive to do as an entertainment.
 '''Troll:''' Well, I'm just-
 '''Bob:''' Thank you and good night.
 '''Troll:''' Okay, bitch.
 [''call ends'']

==Snake Productions Calls Barbara Chandler==
The same troll above makes another call to the Chandlers, this time claiming Chris harrassed his [[Pedofork|14-year old sister]]. It should be noted that Barb's behavior when communicating with trolls is eerily similar to that of her equally-dellusional son's.

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===Transcript===

 '''John:''' Uh, hello, this is, ah, John Morris. I've been calling a couple of times, but I'm getting calls from your house, and I guess someone named Christian who lives there has been calling my sister, who's underage, probably 14 years - 14 years old, has been asking my, er, d-asking my d- sister-
 '''Barbara:''' (Interrupting) M-my son does not call your daughter that's 14 years underage [Unintelligible]
 '''John:''' Yeah, I-I have recorded-
 '''Barbara:''' SHUT UP!SHUT UP!
 '''John:''' Here, here's the call.
 '''Barbara:''' Stop trying to set up my son!
 '''John:''' Here.
 '''Barbara:''' You lousy creep!
[A recording of a girl's voice starts, but Barb is blathering overtop it]
 '''Barbara:''' One of you - one of you trolls out there
 '''John:''' Here, what's this - here
 '''Barbara:''' Don't bother - don't bother calling us back again!
 '''John:''' Here, right here.
[The recording starts again, but Barb hangs up]
 '''John:''' Oh, she - Tch.

The credits roll, followed by the actual "recording" of the call - obviously a soundboard.

 '''Girl''': Hello?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' Hello?
 '''Girl'''Who is this?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' My name is Christian Weston Chandler
 '''Girl''': Who are you looking for?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You want me to caress your breasts?
 '''Girl''': What?
 '''Chris (soundboard):''' You'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that, you know. And you'll just - and it'll be - I'll be puttin' it between your tits while you're all tied up.
 '''Barbara (Soundboard):''' SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Stop trying to set up my son! You lousy creep!

==Call Bobby Chandler==
Uploaded on 21 September 2010. The two individuals call up Bob and ask him only two questions before the conversation takes a turn for the worse. In the nine minutes that followed, we learned that Bob graduated from Auburn University, was an Eagle Scout and Scoutmaster for 20 years in the Boy Scouts, and that he may be a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

Despite these revelations, many trolls disapproved of the callers' tactics, as they were basically verbally assaulting an 83 year old man over things he had no idea about

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====Transcript====
''(trolls giggling; phone rings three times)''
 '''Bob:''' Hello?
 '''Troll 1:''' Hello.
 '''Bob:''' Hello!
 '''Troll 1:''' Mr. Chandler?
 '''Bob:''' Who is this?
 '''Troll 1:''' This is Answer Me Sanchez.
 '''Bob:''' Who is Anthony Sanchez?
 '''Troll 1:''' No, ''Answer Me'' Sanchez! I’d like to, ah, ask you a few questions, if, ah, um, you wouldn’t mind.
 '''Bob:''' Well, I don’t know if I’ll give you any answers.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, do the best you can, I guess. Number one, um: have you ever heard of a website called bangbus.com?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m not on the Internet.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, um, two: What scares you more, a [[Niggos|black man]] living in your neighborhood, or a [[Homos|gay man]] living in your neighborhood?
 '''Bob:''' I don’t think that’s any of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, I um, am doing this for…research and statistics. And I, um…
 '''Bob:''' (interrupts) It’s still none of your business.
 '''Troll 1:''' What if, what if I had, uh, a hooker give you a blowjob?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. (pause) Just, just quit bothering my telephone and get the hell…
 '''Troll 2:''' (interrupts) Tell your son to stop drinking his semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' Wait, wait, Bob, okay, I’ll skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' You're, you’re just being an asshole, is what you're doing.
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son's an asshole!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, um, um, relax! All right, all right, that was an insensitive question. You’re right; let’s skip that.
 '''Bob:''' You got no reason to know this kind of stuff.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, relax, relax; take your medicine. And relax.
 '''Bob:''' I am relaxed, fella.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, um, good, um.
 '''Bob:''' I’m sick and tired of you calling up on my telephone.
 '''Troll 1:''' I have no idea what you’re talking about. Bob, are you going senile?
 '''Barbara:''' ''(inaudible)''
 '''Troll 1:''' Nah, don't listen to [[Barbara Chandler|Snorlax]]! You - ugh, she has you pussy-whipped. Stop listenin' to her.
 '''Troll 2:''' Bob, man, you fought in Korea, man. Just listen to what my friend has to say and tell your wife to shut up.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, I mean, come on…
 '''Bob:''' If you guys would just go to college or do something and…
 '''Troll 1:''' I am in college!
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m in college, too, and I’m actually doing something with my degree, unlike Chris!
 '''Bob:''' Try doing something constructive with your life.
 '''Troll 2:''' I am, unlike your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' That’s kind of ironic, given your son doesn’t do jack shit with his degree.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah! [[Honor roll|Honor rolls, my ass!]]
 '''Bob:''' I have my degree, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' No, your son! Your retarded son who drinks semen!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not talkin' about you, I'm talkin' about your son. The one that drinks his own sperm?
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, eats [[McDonald's]]?
 '''Bob:''' He has his degree also.
 '''Troll 2:''' He doesn’t do nothin' with it, though.
 '''Troll 1:''' What’s he got with it? What’s he done with it?
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter what he’s done with it, it's none of your fucking business.
 '''Troll 1:''' It does, 'cause you're telling us - 'cause you're telling us to go to college.
 '''Troll 2:''' Yeah, you're telling us to go to college, w - I wanna know what your son's done. What's he done?
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business.
 '''Troll 2:''' It is, 'cause he tells us on the Internet. It’s everybody’s business now.
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah!
 '''Bob:''' It’s none of your business. Why don’t you ''(inaudible, interruptions)'' quit bothering us, or I won’t answer your phone at all!
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(indistinct)'' Jesus, man.
 '''Troll 1:''' Okay, all right, you know what, let's skip that question since it's obvamously - um, it might make him [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|shit his pants]] and get - ''(stammers)'' Let's skip that question.
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella -
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob…
 '''Bob:''' Hey.
 ''(repeat ad nauseam for several seconds as Bob and Troll 1 try to speak over each other)''
 '''Bob:''' I'm talkin'… I’m talkin' to you, listen, I’m talkin' to you…
 '''Troll 1:''' I'll get the stick!
 '''Bob:''' ''(amid interruptions from trolls)'' Listen to me, you, I'm talkin' to you! I’ll tell you what I want you to know, okay? First, I am a graduate engineer. Okay?
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(muttering)'' Oh my god.
 '''Bob:''' Second, I worked forty years for GE, and I retired from GE. Third, I served this country and this world by creating at least ten patents and automating a whole lot of industry with a whole lot of stuff that you couldn’t live without. I’ve done my service to man kind.
 '''Troll 2:''' What about your son?
 '''Bob:''' I’m an old man now and I want to be left in peace by you fuckers out there.
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuck you, you Klansman!
 '''Troll 1:''' I’ve listened to what you had to say and I…
 '''Troll 2:''' Fuckin' Klansman.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(garbled, inaudible babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' Well, I’m telling you this, I also spent my time as a scoutmaster. Okay, I was an Eagle Scout. I spent my time for twenty years…
 '''Troll 2:''' Your son drinks his own semen, wears his mom’s underwear. He eats McDonald’s, he whacks off.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you telling me you’re a damn… Bob?
 ''(more babbling)''
 '''Bob:''' When you get somethin' that you can tell me like that, then you call me back and tell me. Now you get your own life and stop botherin' mine. I can out-talk you any day of the week.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(talking over Bob)'' My son will never drink his own semen. My son will never wear his mom’s underwear. My son will never live in my house when he’s twenty-eight years old. My son does not have the Snorlax for a mother.
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, wait, hold on a second, relax. Everyone just relax. Bob, are you - you’re saying you’re a scout manager for [[Pedofork|NAMBLA]]?
 '''Bob:''' No, I’m saying I was a scout master.
 '''Troll 1:''' For NAMBLA, I got it…
 '''Bob:''' For a scout troop. A scout troop! You know!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, yeah, for NAMBLA, I got you.
 '''Bob:''' Boy Scouts!
 '''Troll 2:''' Auhh, totally NAMBLA!
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah, NAMBLA. ''(lots of stammering)'' Um, okay, I mean, like, how many years did you do that for, for NAMBLA?
 '''Bob:''' I was a scout master for almost 20 years.
 '''Troll 1:''' Twenty years in NAM - that’s real impressive, I’m really impressed.
 '''Bob:''' I have my Eagle Scout badge, which very few of you people out there have. Why don't you go get a life and get out there and do that kinda stuff too?
 '''Troll 2:''' The Scouts are gay. The scouts are as gay as your son.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(nonsensical rambling)'' I think, you know, if I learn first-hand from someone that's experienced it, it might help me moreso in the real world, I mean, like, such as yourself. I mean, like, twenty years in NAMBLA -
 '''Bob:''' I'm pretty, I'm - y'know, I would be embarrassed, if I were you -
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(interrupting)'' I would be embarrassed to drink my own semen.
 '''Bob:''' - y'gotta call up people and say "Look," y'know, "I’ve done so-and-so," when you haven’t done crap. Now you can't tell me any one thing you've done.
 '''Troll 1:''' Like your son, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' Well, your son drinks his own cum and wears his mom’s underwear.
 '''Bob:''' I don’t care, we’re talking about me and we’re talking about my phone.
 '''Troll 1:''' What about your phone? I…
 '''Bob:''' This is my phone number, this is my phone that you’re bothering, and I'm sick and tired of it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Chris gave us your number.
 '''Troll 1:''' I-I just said that - I was just askin' you 'bout, what - your 20 years in NAMBLA, and you were talk - talkin' to me 'bout that, I was just sayin' like - uh, so what'd you do after?
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you get something that you can brag about rather than tryin' to harass people all the time?
 '''Troll 1:''' 'Cause I don’t brag, that's, that’s not my nature.
 '''Bob:''' Well, that's fine. So all you can do is harass and bully, right?
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(randomly interjects)'' Stop living in a house full of clutter!
 '''Troll 1:''' I'm not ''harassing and bullying''. I'm just asking you a question. You're just getting mad and, y'know -
 '''Bob:''' Y'know I have friends in the Klu Klux Klan. [''sic'']
 '''Troll 2:''' Oh my god, you're a fuckin' Na - oh ho ho! Holy shit!
 '''Bob:''' Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
 '''Troll 2:''' I’m so glad we’re recording this.
 '''Troll 1:''' Are you part of the KKK yourself?
 '''Bob:''' I was born and ra - I was raised in Alabama, so take your own judgment from that, fella.
 '''Troll 2:''' Holy ''shit!''
 '''Bob:''' I went to school at [[Wikipedia:Auburn High School (Alabama)|Auburn's]]. It's in the heart of the Deep South, so you can take your, you can take your whatevers from that.
 ''(excited gibbering from trolls)''
 '''Troll 1:''' So, from my understanding, you said you went to Auburn, right?
 '''Bob:''' That’s right, I graduated there.
 '''Troll 1:''' All right. So you’re telling me that most people who graduated from Auburn are in the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' No, but I’m saying that a lot of them are. It’s in the heart of the Deep South.
 '''Troll 1:''' Well, I just said "most people," but okay, yeah... So, I mean, what-
 '''Bob:''' I’ve seen crosses burning, fella. I've seen 'em. And you don’t wanna see it.
 '''Troll 1:''' Is Chris part of the KKK?
 '''Bob:''' You don't wanna see it.
 '''Troll 2:''' Wait, wait, wait - are ''you'' a member of the KKK, though, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Yeah. Yeah. All right.
 '''Bob:''' I won’t say whether I am or not. If I had, I’d come up and see if I've got a white, uh, hood to put on.
 '''Troll 2:''' Okay, Bob, all right, we’re just asking you a simple question.
 '''Bob:''' Okay? Okay? Now get off my damn case and get a life for yourself.
 '''Troll 2:''' My [[niggo|black]] girlfriend's gonna hate me for that.
 '''Bob:''' Stop bein' a sad, pathetic individual.
 '''Troll 2:''' Like your son, Bob?
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob -
 '''Bob:''' It doesn’t matter, we’re not talking about my son.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''I’m'' talking about your son.
 '''Bob:''' We’re talking about me, and we’re talking about you.
 '''Troll 1:''' This is a big confrontation. (???) So when you tell us to get a life, why don’t you take those words and tell that to your son, instead of other people, when we’re just trying to ask you questions and learn about life ourselves?
 '''Troll 2:''' Why you gotta get so hostile?
 '''Bob:''' My son has a life.
 '''Troll 2:''' Whatever happened to [[Megan]]?
 '''Troll 1:''' [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']]’s not a life, man!
 '''Bob:''' My son’s a hell of a lot more creative than you are.
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s why we’re talking to you and he doesn’t talk to you. Get it?
 '''Troll 1:''' He says he doesn’t get along with you that well, so…
 '''Troll 2:''' That’s what he puts on his website.
 '''Bob:''' He gets along with me fine.
 '''Troll 2:''' Not on his [[YouTube]] page.
 '''Bob:''' Why don’t you get a life so you can come back and prove me that you’re capable and good enough to talk to me? I have helped my fellow man, and I have helped 'em for forty or fifty years.
 '''Troll 2:''' You kinda failed at that.
 '''Bob:''' ''(apparently misunderstanding)'' To hell with that? Yeah, to hell with that.
 '''Troll 2:''' You've failed.
 '''Bob:''' Why don't you go out and get a life and leave me in peace?
 '''Troll 2:''' I have one, I’m fucking my black girlfriend every night. I have a black girlfriend! I'm happy!
 '''Troll 1:''' Bob, tell me something. Do you know what the Pythagorean Theorem is?
 '''Bob:''' I sure do.
 '''Troll 1:''' What is it?
 '''Bob:''' It’s for me to know and you to find out, my friend.
 '''Troll 2:''' ''(inaudible)'' - bachelor's degree.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(sudden rage)'' You dumbass! What is it? It’s A squared plus B squared equals C squared!
 '''Troll 2:''' HA! Check and mate.
 '''Troll 1:''' ''Gosh'', Bob! Come on! Failed, right there. ''(stammering)'' Do you know anything about the Golden Ratio?
 '''Bob:''' Listen, fella, I have ten patents. In the realms of industrial automation.
 '''Troll 1:''' I don't care about your rim jobs in the freaking -
 '''Bob:''' I helped, I helped to design and, and, and create the computer.
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Bob:''' I helped design and create and put the [[Wikipedia:International Space Station|intercontinental mission in space]].
 '''Troll 2:''' No you didn’t!
 '''Troll 1:''' ''(indistinct)'' - NAMBLA stickers on your computer?
 '''Bob:''' Now when you can say something like that, you can call me back. Until then, shut your fucking mouth and get off my phone.
 '''Troll 2:''' Epic fuckin' failure.
 '''Troll 1:''' Hey Bob. Hey Bob. What would you say that ''(indistinct)'' I'm a multi-millionaire?
 ''(Bob hangs up.)''
 '''Troll 2:''' [[Slow-in-the-minds|He hung up, man.]] Oh my god!
 '''Troll 1:''' That was fucking awesome.
 '''Troll 2:''' Dude, man, we got him fucking admitting he’s a part of the KKK!
 '''Troll 1:''' Dude, upload that shit ''now''!
 '''Troll 2:''' Got it! [[Speech impediment|I'm a - I'm got - got - m'kay]] - got it. Got it.

==Chris calls the Po-Po; Po-Po calls Bob==
Most of this call is the CWC soundboard trying to get around the standard questions of the Greene County Sheriff Department's receptionist. The last two minutes involve a police soundboard calling Bob. The only notable things about this call are that it resulted in the police being sent to [[14 Branchland Court]] and that [[Bob]] called Everybody Loves Raymond "I love Raymond". Note: The CWCki doesn't condone or support pranking legitimate business and services (like the police) in order to prank the Chandlers.

<center>
{{#ev:youtube|Hip4p09vtWY}}
</center>
===Transcript===

{{Transcription}}

{{FanChats}}

[[Category:Phone calls]]

October 2010

2010-10-19T16:20:23Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: I suck at titling videos.

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

Just a little more than halfway through the month, Chris began releasing some even more bizarre performance pieces, seemingly releasing videos purely for the sake of keeping in the public eye.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.
* 12 October - Chris uploads two videos, one where he [[100 2277|dresses up as Fred Flintstone]] and sings the theme song to ''The Flintstones'', and one where he imitates [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]].
* 12 October - The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]], [[Sarah May Skype Logs]], and the last of the [[Reggie]] e-mails are released.
* 14 October - Chris uploads two videos in which he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dresses up as a wizard]] and [[100 2281‎|tries to appeal]] to Lars again.
* 19 October - Chris uploads a flurry of videos which include bizarre and inexplicable acts like simulating the act of [[Pregnant Act|giving birth]], raising awareness for [[Breast Cancer Awareness|breastcancer]], reenacting the [[Vitameatavegamin]] scene from [[I Love Lucy]], singing [[Gilligan Be or Not|a song]] from Gilligan's Island, and, as usual, [[A Public Announcement for Congress|making promises he'll never keep.]]

{{Timeline}}

October 2010

2010-10-19T16:17:08Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Forgot the political video.

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

Just a little more than halfway through the month, Chris began releasing some even more bizarre performance pieces, seemingly releasing videos purely for the sake of keeping in the public eye.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.
* 12 October - Chris uploads two videos, one where he [[100 2277|dresses up as Fred Flintstone]] and sings the theme song to ''The Flintstones'', and one where he imitates [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]].
* 12 October - The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]], [[Sarah May Skype Logs]], and the last of the [[Reggie]] e-mails are released.
* 14 October - Chris uploads two videos in which he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dresses up as a wizard]] and [[100 2281‎|tries to appeal]] to Lars again.
* 19 October - Chris uploads a flurry of videos which include bizarre and inexplicable acts like simulating the act of [[Pregnant Act|giving birth]], raising awareness for [[Breast Cancer Awareness|breastcancer]], reenacting the [[Vitameatavegamin]] scene from [[I Love Lucy]], singing [[Gilligan Be or Not|a song]] from Gilligan's Island, and, as usual, [[A Public Announcement For Congress|making promises he'll never keep.]]

{{Timeline}}

October 2010

2010-10-19T16:15:05Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Consolidated same-date videos into one bullet point each.

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

Just a little more than halfway through the month, Chris began releasing some even more bizarre performance pieces, seemingly releasing videos purely for the sake of keeping in the public eye.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.
* 12 October - Chris uploads two videos, one where he [[100 2277|dresses up as Fred Flintstone]] and sings the theme song to ''The Flintstones'', and one where he imitates [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]].
* 12 October - The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]], [[Sarah May Skype Logs]], and the last of the [[Reggie]] e-mails are released.
* 14 October - Chris uploads two videos in which he [[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat|dresses up as a wizard]] and [[100 2281‎|tries to appeal]] to Lars again.
* 19 October - Chris uploads a flurry of videos which include bizarre and inexplicable acts like simulating the act of [[Pregnant Act|giving birth]], raising awareness for [[Breast Cancer Awareness|breastcancer]],reenacting the [[Vitameatavegamin]] scene from [[I Love Lucy]], and singing [[Gilligan Be or Not|a song]] from Gilligan's Island.

{{Timeline}}

CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation

2010-10-18T20:57:24Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

The '''CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation''' is a set of videos that [[Chris]] released in hopes of selling the [[Sonichu]] franchise to investors. Note that "Personal Sonichu Presentation" can be shortened to [[PSP]].

Chris imagines that he is speaking directly to "businesspeople" who might back the commercial development of Sonichu. In the first video, he delivers a brief history of his character's creation, and also displays a few Sonichu-related objects in addition to his comics and his famous medallion, including crude clay sculptures of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] and a "[[Sonic]] versus Sonichu" racing board game. He concludes by claiming that he plans to complete between 50 and 100 Sonichu comics in his lifetime (if Chris keeps up his pace as of late 2009, he will have reached the minimum goal in 2029, when he'd be 47-48 years old, living alone and still a perverted virgin man-child, [[Chris and Health|if he's lucky enough to still be living]]).

The second video is substantially less coherent. Chris loses the plot as far as attempting to sell his character and settles down to narcissistic wallowing in his supposed personal achievements and his fantasies of a vast international Sonichu fandom. He spends several minutes showing off fan art submitted by [[trolls]], all of which is unsurprisingly far better than anything Chris himself could ever dream of drawing. He also seems to have revived his old dreams of a [[Pokémon]] video game or trading card expansion starring Sonichu, which suggests he has forgotten the conclusion of the [[Miyamoto Saga]] or managed to actively push those events out of his mind.

Perhaps his most impressively deluded fantasy involves the prospect of a Sonichu animated series. He believes that [[Sony]] would be interested in developing the show, that the [[Adult Swim|Cartoon Network]] would be interested in broadcasting the show, and that he would direct and star as the voice of himself and Sonichu. (He briefly shows off his "Sonichu voice," an almost indistinguishably higher-pitched version of his normal voice.)

As usual, Chris displays a shocking lack of awareness concerning the actual commercial viability of his character. (Hint: it has none.) He also, once again, fails to realize that giving out your home address, home phone number, mobile phone number, and other key bits of personal information in a video that's publicly available on [[YouTube]] is not such a hot idea.

In addition to uploading the videos to YouTube, Chris also made a page for these presentations on the [[CWCipedia]]. He also attempted to upload the follow-up PowerPoint presentation videos, but failed, possibly because either the video files were corrupt or he actually thought .ppt files were video files compatible with YouTube.

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1
| image = {{#ev:youtube|w_XTQhBp3v0}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Comics.png]] [[Comic]] [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] [[:Category:Fan art|Fanart]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] Classic
| previous = [[14 November 2009]]
| next = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Part 2|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[''The song ''Sonic Boom'' is playing on the PS3 behind Chris, at times loud enough to make Chris hard to understand.''] Mmm. HELLO, w—hello there muh-business people! Welcome to world of [[CWCville]], Virginia, [''Chris fidgets with his [[Medallion of Fail]]''] and the world of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. My name is [[Christian Weston Chandler]] of [[Ruckersville, Virginia]], [[14 Branchland Court]], ZIP code 22968. And, uh, my home phone number is (434) 990-0198, my cell phone being 760-0848.

Anyway, I am here today to talk to you about d—revolutionary geh—leviloutionary lil' character that WILL [''jump cut''] pah, uh—will make a lot of [[money]], because he's already been innernet-famous fer about 20—fer almost 10 years now. [''pulls out a [[Scrapbook of Fail|Sonichu binder]] and holds it up to the camera''] His name is Sonichu. The l'il, real Electric Hedgehog [[Pokémon]] right here. [''points to Sonichu on cover of [[Sonichu 0|Issue 0]], then starts to put away the binder''] You'll find out more about him. You can learn more about him and read [''holds the binder back up to the camera''] the comic books—comic book pages I've written—I've drawn and written so far [''puts the binder away this time''] on [[CWCipedia]], which, uh, the address to that would be next to this [[YouTube]] video in da details.

Anyway, we are here t—t—anyway yeah. His or—his origin is basically... yeah, first off, uh, we have to c—look at the—my big BOOK here. [''pulls out a different, giant binder''] Look how big that book is. So thick, I had to get ANOTHER BOOK. [''hefts a second equally huge binder''] Heh. [''sets second binder down'']

Anyway, [''sets giant binder down and opens it''] it all s—[''video skips''] Anyway, uh... upon the cre—uh, upon the physical—upon the mental creation of Sonichu, it originally came to me, because, for one—for a computer graphics class back in high school, I had to create a CD cover for... [''wipes his forehead with his sleeve''] a CD that's, uh, was not to be sold anywhere, but, anyway. Made for fun, but—so, I drew up a...—a—this—this CD cover right here [''holds up a binder page showing [[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]''] and this—this—this was Sonichu's first a—forst official appearance. Front and back on the ins—on the insert. If, anyway, uh, basically, [''video skips''] the—uh, the idea came to me, like, you know, yeah, I wanted to use Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu on the cover of my CD, but they're both copyrighted characters, and previously-copyrighted characters were not allowed. So, uh, after lunch, uh, during that same day, in da [[Manchester High School]] with my teacher Miss Naelie Chalifoux, thank'a very much, I have...—it just dawned upon me, with, uh, merging together, in combination of the two, and then Sonichu was born.

Now that and then [[homos|in da but]] storywise, he was born—he—he was born amidst the, uh, s—sitcha—situation in Station Square whereas portray—previous portrayed in the ''Sonic Adventure'' game, available on Dreamcast and Nintendo GameCube. Ay—yeah, but during the battle, the Chaos Monster, Super Sonic, ran into a spystanding Pikachu and, uh, transformed in—into Sonichu... as that was also—as the origins also described in the ''Number Zero'' book on the—on the CWCipedia.

[''reaches for glasses, then reconsiders and wipes his forehead with his arm'']

Now, the, uhh...—now, Sonichu's appeal—Sonichu and Rosechu's appeal: yeah, mainly, the, uhh, appeal was... t—aimed towards children... and, uhh, there was the start of the books, there. We got little toys here, I put togetter. Even a—even a board game, where we put the boards... right here. Sonic vs. Sonichu, a little racing-type game, but it's a l'il—it's a little bit Monopoly-style, with game ca—with, uhh, cards that you pick up... uhn, and shortcuts. Anyway, that is, uhh, part of the, uhh, merchandising thing that I plan on branching out with... in the world of Sonichu, eventually. As, uhh, p—as portrayed—as previously-mentioned in a YouTube video, I have the official registration copyright of Sonichu... and Rosechu and the C-uh-CWCville, in my—in my own name, and that—and that is also accessible on the CWCipedia: the scan of that... actual piece of paper that came from the Virginia Library of Congress.

[''opens binder and sighs'']

Anyway, yeah, I got a ''whole'' bunch of history here. All my history. It comes, like, you know, from creation... with, uhh...—to making, uhh, to a whole bunch of stories, and whatnot...—and even, uhh, made a title(?)... for it in my [[Homemade Nintendo Power magazine|homemade ''Nintendo Power'' magazine]], which was, uhh—which I believe I told Nintendo of America about... in a previous letter or two. Anyway, yeah, it was—it was very—it was very lucrative, and... we do plan on branching out even on DVD, of, like, on my live DVD that's called [[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|''CWC... Christian Weston Chandler... That's Me. Yep, I'm on TV!'']] Uhh, C-''Christian Weston Chandler... Yep, I'm on TV!'' That's the name of the DVD. So, if it comes out on DVD, I hope to get it on... Blu-ray, as well. And, also, I've created the, uhh—a couple of Sonich—a, uhh, level S—for Sonichu, on ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', Sony—on Sony [[PlayStation 3]]... which, uhh, is called "Sonichu Episode 0". You can look it up; my [[PSN]] ID is ''Sonichu'': S-o-n-i-c-h-u. ...Anyway, e—e—following this, uhh, video... there will be a... video where, uhh... it will be presented live from my PC: a PowerPoint presentation that can better describe... the situation. Anyway, with the count of books, I plan—I plan on drawing, at least, in my lifetime, hopefully, between fifty to a hundred books.

==Part 2==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 2
| image = {{#ev:youtube|VorW1ExsuAM}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 23 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Comics.png]] [[Comic]] [[Image:Fanartn.PNG]] [[:Category:Fan art|Fanart]]
| Shirt = [[Image:Classicshirt.png]] Classic
| previous = [[CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation#Video|CWC Personal Sonichu Presentation Part 1]]
| next = [[Sonichu Powerpoint]]
}}</center>

===Transcript===
[''Picking up where the first video left off.'']

By which, uh, definitely more will be a re—a ra—around Sonichu, after I, which I have dubbed myself the [[CWCville|Mayor of CWCville]], in this glorious shopping, this glorious two-story shopping mall, ah, that is glorious. I actually have, uh, plans that I have, uh, made in Computer Aided Drafting and Design, which I will present through this video, near the end of it—near the end of this video.

[''He begins flipping through a thick three-ring binder.'']

Anyway, yeah, got a whooole bunch of stuff here. Yeah, we can definitely franchise 'n' all this, you know. Even ideas of a ''Pokémon: Lightning Version'', where players can catch Sonichu and Rosechu in the wild, even breeding them to make the other individual Electric Hedgehog characters that are—have been portrayed in the book, such as Wild, Bubbles, Angelica, Punchy, and Magi-Chan, among others that have also been created as well, due—due—due to, you know, processes of the evolution stones, and daytime/nighttime evolutions, friendship, all that good stuff. All in the—the files here, including their little baby forms Sonee and Rosey, to evolutions from original Sonichu and Rosechu....

[''He displays the Sonichu and Rosechu figures again.'']

...Metonic and Vamprosa. Those characters are also featured on the CWCipedia. At least on Sonichu's page; I'm planning on making a page for Rosechu herself on that note. But, anyway, This—this—this Sonichu franchise, it has a biiig number of fans. I even have a number of fan submissions. Like, this here is a draw—is a piece of fan art that came from a girl I knew in Australia.
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|right|PandaHalo's fanart, which serves as the cover of [[Sonichu 10]].]]
[''He holds up the picture, presumably from [[PandaHalo]], to the camera.'']

And that's a postcard sent from her, right there. She, uh, also, uh, created a Sonichu and Rosechu that's featured in the ''Number Nine'' book I'm currently drawing. They go by the name of [[Chloe]] and [[BlazeBob Sonichu|BlazeBob]].

[''Chris turns around the file revealing another piece of art.'']

Anyway, also, on the flip side of this page is from somebody else. It's possibly the best Sonichu fan art ever. Look at that. That's gonna be the cover of the, uh, the first book that's just based on Sonichu, which'll definitely be after ''Number Ten''...

[''He turns around the picture to display Panda's image.'']

...which this one will be the cover of.

[''He looks at the other image again.'']

Hm. This one came from, uh, "Zorah Q. Zowild," that's his YouTube name. Yeah, also, you know, I've received fan art in the snail mail, those are printed off the internet. Like this lovely one.
[[Image:AllisonSonichuRosechu.jpg|thumb|"And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her"]]
[''He holds up a drawing of Sonichu and Rosechu in formal wear.'']

That came from, uh, that came from a lovely woman named Allie, in Sun Valley, California. Thank you. Thank you very much. And from that, you know, that's, you know, she could have done a little better like, you know, like Rosey's tail was wrong, but I'll forgive her. But, still, drew my own version of it.

[''He holds up a crude imitation of the previous drawing.'']
[[Image:CWCsEloquateSonichuandRosechu.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's "superior" version of Allie's drawing.]]
Heh, heh. Isn't that fun? Oh, of course, local art, in Charlottesville, an art—an artist did a caricature of me.

[''He turns around the file to display the caricature.'']

I included that in the ''Number Nine'' book on a billboard.

[''He holds up one more piece of art.'']

Here's another fun piece of fan art. It comes from, uh... B.C. Uh, okay, I can't, uh, Vancouver, B.C. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. [[Chris_and_reality|Very famous. Very, very famous.]] Yep. Uh, this one's just a fan letter from a... from a [[BlueSpike|Julie in Ohio]].

[''He holds up an image, but the high contrast of his video renders it impossible to make out.'']

Here's a little piece of fan art from a, uh, from someone who's possibly, uh, Japanese. Who lives in Virginia. And also, recently, this guy here, uh, Jason Darling...thank you very much; I got your package.

[''He holds up a folder of photographs.'']

He made a replica of my [[medallion]], which in them, which, you know, this one here is the original that I made myself from my own hands, from Crayola Model Magic and acrylic paints. In the comic books this allows me to transform into Chris-chan Sonichu. Which, that is described in the comic book pages as reposed in the CWCipedia. Also sent me a pack of Maple Story cards, so again, thank you Jason. I appreciate your encouragement, as well as everybody else's. Anyway, uh... hmm... yeah, I picked up a—also received a fan CD from a—from a, uhh... BK Jones in Texas. Oh, here's anutter—here's anutter fun one that's recent. Look at this envelope. Isn't that... cute? That's fun. And then they did a computer art... over there. This came all the way from... Portland... Oregon, I believe it is. And, uhh, I got various other... fan letters in—in this page. Uhh, I'd pull 'em out, but, you know, they're in—I just left them in their envelopes. Nope, fan art dere.

But, anyway, also, aside from that, uhh... I have definitely—I have definitely made a set of trading—'kay, this is my [[The Wall of Originals|homemade Pokémon trading cards]]... which I, uhh, used—which I keep at home for art's sake. A whole heck—got, like—whole—a ''whole lot'' of them here. This could definitely branch out... And a very ''profitable'' thing, both for between Nintendo and Sega, and also with Son—also possibly with Sony, with, uhh—you know, with the a—also with, uhh, the anime show that maybe—maybe Cartoon Network and their people could help me out on... eh, when tha—when that TV show gets run. Where I'll voic—where I will be happy to—where I will be the ''director'', and I will be voicing myself as Sonichu. Listen to the difference: okay, this is me, Christian Weston Chandler, and this will be Sonichu: [''clearly taking after [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEIpeZFUnJE George] by not changing his voice whatsoever''] Hey, Rosechu! Let's go out and zap to the extreme! We got some bad guys to defeat! Come on, let's go! Yeah!

[''quietly musing over his own amazing degree of fail''] Hmm... odd, but... [''recovered from the shock, back at normal volume''] anyway, uhh, running low on time. Uhh, just a couple of, uhh, other things of interest: uhh, Sonichu was also previously featured in May, 2004, in this issue of ''[[Nintendo Power]]'' magazine, in "The Crossing Quarterly"... with a, uhh, submission from my ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game—for Nintendo GameCube, currently also available in—in other titles on DS and Nintendo Wii. And, also, uhh—and, shortly after that, it was featured... in a newsletter at the Piedmont Virgi—at the local [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]... among, uhh, other... published things. Also, uhh, when the, uhh, Sonic website was owiginawwy—was just CWCSonichu site, I had my own [[Sonichu's News Dash|News Dash newsletters]]. That lasted a short while... Hmm. Actually, uh, yeah, but any—yeah, but, anyway, everybody knows on the CWCipedia, so....

[''sigh'']

Anyway, here: I'll show you the, uhh, just the, uhh, whole layout of the CWCville Shopping Center. I actually have all these... printouts from... my... [[CADD|Computer-Aided Drafting and cla—cla—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design classes]], but this is the last one, right before I graduated from Piedmont Virginia College. hen my degree and certificate in Commu—Computer-Aided Drafting and Design. It's very—it's very good. I mean, I would just imagine this in real life. It would even have a Pokémon Center in there, like the one in New York used to have, before it turned into a Nintendo World, USA. It shoulda stayed a ''Pokémon Center''! Now, that was definitely better appeal than just... Nintend—than just Nintendo, even though, yes, Nintendo... has the rights and everything, but... it was ''the Pokémon Center''! I mean... le—if the CWC—if the CWCville Shopping Center does get built... let's agree to put a Pokémon Center in it. And it has a Mayor's Office... right here, above the... front of—up above the main front entrance of the building... which is as portrayed in the comic book series. Aaand a whole buncha... other stuff I have, uh, here. It's just side-...stuff from... my... life, and whatever.

Anyway, uhh... uhh, pretty much, uhh, take care of it for, uhh, this par—for this portion of the, uhh, video, [''removes glasses''] so the next video to follow this one will be the... [''taps table''] PowerPoint presentation, so I will be reading audioly—I will be reading from that and pointing the camera toward the PC, [''quietly and unconfidently''] thank you. [''gives a half-assed Cub Scout salute'']

So... to Nintendo and Sega and Sony and all the other companies interested in... franchising with me here: [''gives another half-assed Cub Scout salute''] I await your call to my home phone... number or my cell phone.

Thank you very much, and have a [''gives ANOTHER half-assed [[Chris's mannerisms|Cub Scout salute]]''] ''pleasant day''!
{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Presentations}}
{{clear}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[14 November 2009]]|nextlink=[[Sonichu Powerpoint]]|}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Template:ListOfVideos/Aug-Dec2010

2010-10-18T15:15:04Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* October 2010 */

==August 2010==
*'''[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]''' ''27 [[August 2010]]'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Reason}} {{Tragedy}} {{HighSchoolShirt}} Chris reaches out to his [[Manchester High School|former classmates]] in an attempt to organize a High School Reunion. He also speaks out against the [[trolls]] and cyberbullying in general.

*'''[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]''' {{Video games}} {{Tragedy}} {{HighSchoolShirt}} Chris explains how he formatted his [[PS3]]'s hard drive, unexpectedly erasing all his content. Having learned about the true meaning of formatting and effectively destroying the most important aspect of his life, Chris concedes "victory" to the trolls.

*'''[[The MovingForward videos]]''' ''29 August 2010'' {{Video games}} {{Tragedy}} {{Crazy}} {{Clyde}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{HighSchoolShirt}} {{Leaked}} Chris breaks his PS3 dead for a cash bounty he was ineligible for.

*'''[[ItIsFinished.MOV]]''' ''30 August 2010'' {{Video games}} {{Rumours}} {{Crazy}} {{Clyde}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{PlainOrangeShirt}} Chris runs over the PS3's hard drives with his car due to a [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|heckler]].

==September 2010==
*'''[[Haters Gonna Hate.MOV]]''' ''6 [[September 2010]]'' {{Rumors}} {{Trollsicon}} {{Smug}} {{PlainOrangeShirt}} Chris rants at the trolls, complete with [[Sonichu medallion]].

*'''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV]]''' ''13 September 2010'' {{Galpals}} {{Sex}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{RedBlackTrim}} Chris declares his love for [[Jackie]].

*'''[[XBox is OK.MOV]]''' ''13 September 2010'' {{Rumours}} {{Homos}} {{Video games}} {{Smug}} {{Reason}} {{RedBlackTrim}} Chris recants his hatred of the [[Hex Box|Xbox]], homos and removes all curses he has given - probably as part of a name clearing drive to impress Jackie.

*'''[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]''' ''16 September 2010'' {{Music}} {{Racism}} {{Sex}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris creates another video for Jackie, in which he wears black and red facepaint to look like [[Dragon Ball Z|Mr. Popo]] and [[Chris and Music|"sings"]] his version of [[Wikipedia:Mmm_Mmm_Mmm_Mmm|"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm"]] by [[Wikipedia:Crash_Test_Dummies|Crash Test Dummies]].

*'''[[Lars' Ship Has Sunk]]''' ''25 September 2010'' {{Galpals}} {{Power}} {{Violence}} {{Crazy}} {{Smug}} {{Jackie}} {{BrickFestShirt}} Chris sink's Lars' boat. The consequences will never be the same.

*'''[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]''' ''26 September 2010'' {{Music}} {{Trollsicon}} {{Rumors}} {{Smug}} {{BrickFestShirt}} Chris promotes his [[Don'tGetTrolled!|anti-troll efforts]] and [[Chris and health#Chris and hygiene|Oil of Olay]].

*'''[[New Address]]''' ''27 September 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Violence}} {{Smug}} {{Jackie}} {{BrickFestShirt}} Chris makes a video for Lars in which he gloats about having "taken" Jackie from him, then explains how he will satisfy her every need, and warns Lars not to mess with Jackie.

*'''[[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]''' ''30 September 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Violence}} {{Smug}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris makes another video for Lars in which he mocks a boat Lars made for Jackie, compares it to a tape dispenser, and then abuses his own camera again.

==October 2010==
*'''[[100 2261.MOV]]''' ''1 October 2010'' {{Rumors}} {{Video games}} {{Reason}} {{Jackie}} {{Game Place}} {{PokemonLeague}} Following on from the apologetic "XBox is OK" video from last month, Chris extends his apologies to employees of [[The GAMe PLACe]], particularly [[Michael Snyder|Michael]], for blaming them for his ban. Chris puts his behaviour down to [[stress]].

*'''[[I like Mary Poppins]]''' ''2 October 2010'' {{Music}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{GreenWideLinesShirt}} Chris tries to dance like the chimney sweeps singing "Step In Time" in ''[[Mary Poppins]]''.

*'''[[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|Lars Is Jivin'.MP4]]''' ''2 October 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Violence}} {{Smug}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{GreenWhiteStripe}} Chris uploads the full version of the Lars Is Jivin' video, with Chris mocking [[Lars]] for his obsession with model boats which ultimately ended his relationship with [[Jackie]].

*'''[[100 2265]]''' ''3 October 2010'' {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{cwcbra}} Chris dresses up as [[wikipedia:Hamburglar|the Hamburglar]], complete with [[muscle bra]].

*'''[[100 2266]]''' ''4 October 2010'' {{Music}} {{Rumors}} {{Crazy}} {{Tragedy}} {{Jackie}} {{VerticalRedYellowShirt}} Continuing with the [[McDonalds]] character theme, the start of this video sees Chris dress up as [[wikipedia:McDonaldland#Characters|the Grimace]]. He then removes his costume and proceeds to play the [[Gitar of Fail]], while singing Mark Wills' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVjbo8dW9c8 Don't Laugh At Me].

*'''[[100 2267]]''' ''7 October 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Rumors}} {{Crazy}} {{Rage}} {{PityShirt}} Blackface returns, this time for Chris's impersonation of [[Clyde Cash]] - in retaliation for the recent rumors he's been making.

*'''[[100 2269]]''' ''7 October 2010'' {{Music}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Dressed up in construction paper and armed with his [[Gitar of Fail|Gitar]], Chris attempts to impersonate the Beatles.

*'''[[100 2270]]''' ''7 October 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Crazy}} {{Rage}} {{PityShirt}} Chris attempts to impersonate [[Alec]]/[[Liquid]] in a video full of [[Asperchu]] rage.

*'''[[ECV 00001]]''' ''9 October 2010'' {{Racism}} {{Violence}} {{Reason}} {{Crazy}} {{Cwcbra}} Chris yammers about the [[Cherokee]].

*'''[[A Hike]]''' ''9 October 2010'' {{Power}} {{Reason}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris exhausts himself hiking a very short distance.

*'''[[ECV 00002]]''' ''10 October 2010'' {{Trollsicon}} {{Sex}} {{Reason}} {{Crazy}} {{Jackie}} {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} Chris transforms into [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his cartoon alter ego]].

*'''[[100 2277]]''' ''12 October 2010'' {{Music}} {{Crazy}} {{Comedy}} {{Jackie}} {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} Chris dresses as Fred Flintstone, with bonus Homer Simpson impression at the end.

*'''[[I put on my Wizard's cloak and magic hat]]''' ''14 October 2010'' {{Crazy}} {{Homos}} {{Trollsicon}} {{Jackie}} {{RedYellowStripeShirt}} Chris dresses as Harry Potter and casts a spell to [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|curse]] the trolls.

*'''[[100 2277]]''' ''15 October 2010'' {{Crazy}} {{Tragedy}} {{Smug}} {{Racism}} {{Trollsicon}} {{Jackie}} Chris uploads a video in of him in his parents' kitchen, slugging back on a bottle of Kahlua and drunkenly ranting against [[Jackie#Lars|Lars]].

Talk:ECV 00002

2010-10-13T21:36:24Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Painted over the Muscle Bra */ fixed my redlink.

{{Not A Forum}}

I'll think I'll attempt to transcribe this bitch.--[[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 1:00, 11 October 2010 (EST)

*Go for it, article's ready to go.
**Every time his right "ear" falls down should be put in the transcript. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:33, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|Chris in his super-mode.]] Here's a thumbnail. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 22:05, 10 October 2010 (PDT) ->
** It is done. It might need to be fixed a little by someone with more experience, though, since it's my first time transcribing a video.--[[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 22:15, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
**You did fine. Though I'm going to edit it to mention when his stupid plastic ear falls down. If anyone feels that's superfluous feel free to ditch it. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 22:21, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
***It was all good, but I revised the transcription because the version you edited had a lot of errors. Feel free to throw the ear stuff into the new transcription. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 22:31, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
****Looking at it now it looks perfect, no need to tamper with it. Thank you! [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 22:53, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== New shirt ==

Chris appears to be wearing a new rugby shirt. This one is green with a yellow stripe between two red stripes, all of which go horizontally through the center of the shirt. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 23:46, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== Transcription is incomplete ==

yeah, srs business. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:06, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris' Voice ==

Should it be mentioned in the article how he tries to put a "manly" voice on but fails about halfway through? Not a clue why he's doing it, though, I thought his balls had finally dropped when I started up the video. --[[User:Black Pickle|Black Pickle]] 00:12, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

== Painted over the Muscle Bra ==

Some [[Krapple]]fags are suggesting that Chris painted over his bra. While the [[camerawork|resolution]] makes it hard to tell, his mantits seem suspiciously restrained. Can anyone else confirm this? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 13:54, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

*After a couple more views as well as looking at the [[Muscle bra|Bra itself]], I don't think so. Judging by where his muscle bra begins and ends, unless he painted both over and under it, we'd probably be seeing more pasty skin around his neck and shoulders. Also, unless he just straight up slathered himself in acrylic or something, we'd notice the difference between the way it clung to his skin and the material. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 14:23, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

Talk:ECV 00002

2010-10-13T21:23:10Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Painted over the Muscle Bra */

{{Not A Forum}}

I'll think I'll attempt to transcribe this bitch.--[[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 1:00, 11 October 2010 (EST)

*Go for it, article's ready to go.
**Every time his right "ear" falls down should be put in the transcript. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 23:33, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|Chris in his super-mode.]] Here's a thumbnail. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 22:05, 10 October 2010 (PDT) ->
** It is done. It might need to be fixed a little by someone with more experience, though, since it's my first time transcribing a video.--[[User:Melainia|Melainia]] 22:15, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
**You did fine. Though I'm going to edit it to mention when his stupid plastic ear falls down. If anyone feels that's superfluous feel free to ditch it. [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 22:21, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
***It was all good, but I revised the transcription because the version you edited had a lot of errors. Feel free to throw the ear stuff into the new transcription. --[[User:Thorgnzorrg|Thorgnzorrg]] 22:31, 10 October 2010 (PDT)
****Looking at it now it looks perfect, no need to tamper with it. Thank you! [[User:Admiral Klank|Admiral Klank]] 22:53, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== New shirt ==

Chris appears to be wearing a new rugby shirt. This one is green with a yellow stripe between two red stripes, all of which go horizontally through the center of the shirt. --[[User:Riley_Martin|'''Uhh… this is Riley Martin.''' O-Qua Tangin Wann]] 23:46, 10 October 2010 (PDT)

== Transcription is incomplete ==

yeah, srs business. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 04:06, 11 October 2010 (PDT)

== Chris' Voice ==

Should it be mentioned in the article how he tries to put a "manly" voice on but fails about halfway through? Not a clue why he's doing it, though, I thought his balls had finally dropped when I started up the video. --[[User:Black Pickle|Black Pickle]] 00:12, 12 October 2010 (PDT)

== Painted over the Muscle Bra ==

Some [[Krapple]]fags are suggesting that Chris painted over his bra. While the [[camerawork|resolution]] makes it hard to tell, his mantits seem suspiciously restrained. Can anyone else confirm this? --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 13:54, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

*After a couple more views as well as looking at the [[Muscle Bra|Bra itself]], I don't think so. Judging by where his muscle bra begins and ends, unless he painted both over and under it, we'd probably be seeing more pasty skin around his neck and shoulders. Also, unless he just straight up slathered himself in acrylic or something, we'd notice the difference between the way it clung to his skin and the material. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 14:23, 13 October 2010 (PDT)

BlueSpike Skype Logs

2010-10-13T20:41:03Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* 6 January */

The '''[[BlueSpike]] Skype conversations''' took place in [[January 2009]].

==Chat logs==
===4 January===
 [00:22:18] '''BlueSpike:''' Hi!
 [00:22:20] '''BlueSpike:''' I have news!
 [00:22:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
Rebecca's father, the diplomat, got me an american passport and a green card!
 [00:23:04] '''BlueSpike:'''
And he's flying me out on his jet to Washington DC!
 [00:23:07] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [00:24:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
Then after I land I'll be bussing to where my relatives live in Ohio!
 [00:25:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
I went to DC first so I could get my Green Card.

===6 January===

 [00:26:27] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm in America now, Ohio to be exact! I'm with my relatives from [[Molvania]].
 [00:31:17] '''BlueSpike:'''
Are you there?
 [00:35:47] '''BlueSpike:'''
I read the [[PSN]] messages..
 [00:35:53] '''BlueSpike:'''
What are you talking about?
 [00:35:59] '''BlueSpike:'''
I didn't join [[Sonichu Girls]].
 [00:36:39] '''BlueSpike:''' :(
 [00:53:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
And I understand the misdeed I've done.
 [00:53:50] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'd like to apoligize.
 [00:54:14] '''BlueSpike:'''
Though all I did was bring you here like twice.
 [00:54:22] '''BlueSpike:'''
I wasn't there for some times you were here.
 [00:54:31] '''BlueSpike:'''
I was told that someone else was using my name...?
 [00:55:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
Plus my older brother was using my computer, and he's gay...he said he was 'trulling'?
 [00:55:25] '''BlueSpike:'''
He wasn't very clear.
 [00:56:45] '''BlueSpike:'''
OMG! I just asked him about it! He said it was him doing some of this!
 [00:57:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I accept your apology.
 [00:58:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
Thank you. :)
 [00:59:28] '''BlueSpike:'''
May I ask who gave you the logs, or would you like to keep it to yourself?
 [00:59:38] '''BlueSpike:'''
Also, I hit my brother upside the head for what he did. >:O
 [01:00:06] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
It's okay. it was my Sweetheart, Panda.
 [01:00:31] '''BlueSpike:'''
It was right what she did.
 [01:02:27] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Julie, listen, I've promised my heart and my virginity to [[Panda]], confidentially aka IRL, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, but if it's any consolation, after our first time, she is willing to do a threesome.

Aside from that, I'd still like to meet you, as Guy and Gal-Pals.
 [01:02:54] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I apologize for getting carried away with my flirtatious moments.
 [01:03:32] '''BlueSpike:'''
I accept your apology.
 [01:03:46] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
when I found the Sonichu Girls Forum, I had learned that a [[Robert Simmons V|Sonichu Guy fan]] went saved up and met Sarah.
 [01:05:05] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I felt uncertain, because of the possible temptations, but Last Friday, she had informed me that she is able to come to me IRL as soon as February (Confidentially), and that she has not had sex with that guy, saving herself up for me. :)
 [01:05:56] '''BlueSpike:'''
Sounds like a true love story to me! :)
 [01:06:11] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Listen, I would like you, not your brother, to get in touch with Panda (I assume you know her e-mail); tell her about him pretending to be you, and proving yourself truthfully.
 [01:06:43] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Yes. :)
 [01:06:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
I wouldn't dare let my brother, also, I actually don't know Panda's email. :(
 [01:06:58] '''BlueSpike:'''
And yes to what?
 [01:07:09] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
that it is a True Love Story.
 [01:07:16] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh. :)
 [01:07:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
pandahalo@gmail.com. and do not say you got the e-mal address from me.
 [01:08:20] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hmm? Why? And I'll email her.
 [01:08:57] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
anyway, she and I have gotten to know each other for over four months now; we've chatted and Talked; heard each other's honest voices, and we've shared a lot between each other.
 [01:09:10] '''BlueSpike:'''
I see! I wouldn't want to ruin that relationship.
 [01:09:12] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [01:09:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
thank you.
 [01:09:37] '''BlueSpike:'''
Any time.
 [01:10:02] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll try to email Panda ASAP.
 [01:10:03] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I will repromote you in the Home Club next time I get on there.
 [01:10:11] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
okay, and you take care.
 [01:10:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
Thanks. :)
 [01:10:14] '''BlueSpike:'''
Bye!
 [01:11:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
Some people are telling me that they want me to invite you to the IRC, should I tell them you boycotted it?
 [01:12:21] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
no, don't tell them that. Just them that after having uploaded the comic, I'm taking a bit of time for myself.
 [01:12:38] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
and for Sarah.
 [01:12:42] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [01:12:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay. :)
 [01:12:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Peace.
 [01:12:53] '''BlueSpike:'''
Bye!
 [01:12:54] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [01:30:56] '''BlueSpike:'''
Can I ask if maybe you're talking to your true sweetheart, Sarah, now?
 [01:31:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
Just asking for the sake of asking. :)
 [01:33:21] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh, BTW. Could you ask her if I got my email?
 [01:33:30] '''BlueSpike:'''
She got my email?*
 [01:45:49] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris, Panda replied saying that she needs to talk to you by e-mail, she's being harassed by trolls.
 [03:34:26] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hey, I have a question. If Panda had these logs, why didn't she show them to you earlier? I just thought of it, like a Random Access Memory.

===7 January===

 [08:47:57] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi!
 [08:48:02] '''BlueSpike:'''
How's it going?

===8 January===

 [10:02:08] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hey, what happened to Sonichu.net? :(
 [10:04:18] '''BlueSpike:'''
It's acting strange, like it won't load the pictures..
 [22:37:05] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hey. :) I'm enjoying Ohio, and the technolgy it brings to me. But I have a question...I know that people have impersonated you before, how am I sure you're for real? :( Do you think there's a way I could tell you're the real deal? I'd love to be ensured that you're the true Christan Weston Chandler. :)
 [22:37:45] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hey, Julie. That's no problem.
 [22:38:13] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hi!
 [22:38:37] '''BlueSpike:'''
I have no microphone for my computer at the moment. :(
 [22:38:48] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh.
 [22:38:51] '''BlueSpike:'''
Let me open the window again.
 [22:39:02] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes!
 [22:39:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
I see you've been playing your [[Wii]]! :)
 [22:39:20] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool!
 [22:39:32] '''BlueSpike:'''
I've been considering getting a Wii now I'm in the states.
 [22:39:43] '''BlueSpike:'''
Wait, what are you going to update? I didn't catch that.
 [22:39:55] '''BlueSpike:'''
Oh, okay.
 [22:40:10] '''BlueSpike:'''
Ah, yes. That is true.
 [22:40:21] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hmm.
 [22:40:29] '''BlueSpike:'''
Yes.
 [22:40:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
I have not seen him today yet, however.
 [22:40:47] '''BlueSpike:'''
Perhaps.
 [22:40:54] '''BlueSpike:'''
I too have only heard his/her voice.
 [22:41:10] '''BlueSpike:'''
But he's trustworthy.
 [22:41:23] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
434-760-0848, and my address is 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA
 [22:41:34] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool!
 [22:41:38] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll try to get a car soon.
 [22:41:39] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay!
 [22:41:41] '''BlueSpike:'''
Bye!
 [22:41:44] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [22:42:06] '''BlueSpike:'''
Take care!
 [22:42:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
u2
 [22:48:10] '''BlueSpike:'''
After looking back at what I said, I think I made a mistake. You see, in my country, we do not refer to people by gender. Sometimes I get confused with he or she, I miss home, I suppose. But yes, Cameron is indeed a female.

===10 January===

 [01:14:48] '''BlueSpike:'''
Trying to restore your website?
 [13:30:35] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'm working on it.
 [13:31:36] '''BlueSpike:'''
Cool. :)
 [18:00:18] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hey, Julie.
 [18:01:35] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I just thought I'd check in; I've just read and replied to Anneke's message on the Sonichu Girls Forum. No offense, but while I was able to comprehend some of what she told me over the phone, I miscomprehended some, but after reading the message, I fully understand what she said now.
 [18:02:15] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I look forward to your visit, and I will treat you well, like a friend. :)
 [18:02:47] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Please call me on my cell when you come into Virginia.
 [18:02:58] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Love and Peace. ;)

===11 January===

 [02:10:36] '''BlueSpike:'''
What's going on? :)

===13 January===

 [14:49:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
I miss you, Chris. I haven't talked to you for a short while. :(

===17 January===

 [03:08:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hey, Julie. well, right now I'm dealing with a change from Sonichu.NET to Sonichu.INFO, because [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], the Troll behind the E.D. page Hacked into my [[Tripod]] Account a Second Time. I have created a NEW Tripod account to put [[Sonichu.info]] on, and I will close the OLD Tripod account just after I get the Password recovered.
 [08:39:52] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris, I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply. I was so tired when I got home (After walking around a bit, I like the area near my house.).

===18 January===

 [01:08:41] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Hey, Julie. the Sonichu & Rosechu Site is down for a count, thanks to that bastard, Jason Kendrick Howell.
 [01:08:48] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I am trying to calm myself down and think this through.
 [01:09:28] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Please pray for my recovery, and pray for Jason's Death.
 [01:09:44] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Love and Peace.
 [13:17:18] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll pray for your recovery, Chris.
 [13:17:20] '''BlueSpike:''' :)
 [13:17:29]'''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Thank you. :)
 [13:17:35] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'll always be there.
 [13:18:37] '''BlueSpike:'''
Is there anything I can do to help?
 [13:18:53] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'll get back to you on that, and I will keep you in mind on that.
 [13:19:00] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay. :)
 [13:21:46] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay, I tried to recover a password for your AOL, chrischansonichu. Try the password rc2296.
 [13:21:58] '''BlueSpike:'''
I hope it's right, it's just what I was able to get at an attempt at cracking the code.
 [13:22:30] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
it's cool. I have temporarily closed the ChrisChanSonichu account to discourage the Trolls.
 [13:22:34] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [13:23:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
I think they hacked it anyway, I'm not sure. I'm guessing what the heartless trolls would do.
 [13:23:25] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
yes.
 [13:24:34] '''BlueSpike:'''
Wait, what email will you use, then?
 [13:24:55] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
for now, we can talk on Skype, but I do have a back-up e-mail address.
 [13:25:12] '''BlueSpike:'''
Awesome, what is it? I want to know in case I need to send an e-mail for whatever reason.
 [13:25:50] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I'd rather not at the moment.
 [13:25:57] '''BlueSpike:'''
I understand 100%.
 [13:26:01] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
You can still message me on Skype and PSN.
 [13:26:05] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay, cool.
 [13:26:07] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
I GTG, I'll TTYL.
 [13:26:11] '''BlueSpike:'''
Okay.
 [13:26:11] '''Christopher C.W.C.:'''
Love and Peace.
 [13:26:15] '''BlueSpike:'''
Bye!
 [13:26:16] '''BlueSpike:''' :D
 [14:19:06] '''BlueSpike:'''
Maybe you should make a video telling those mean trolls you won't succumb to their awful attacks! Maybe that'll show them. You need to show them who's boss, put them in their place! You can't let them get away with this!
 [16:07:30] '''BlueSpike:'''
I can't believe Jason is gonna sell the site!
 [16:07:38] '''BlueSpike:'''
I'm going to try to attack his computer!
 [16:10:34] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris, is that okay with you? Or do you want me to leave him alone for now?
 [17:06:38] '''BlueSpike:'''
Chris, just remember. If you ever need to relax, I could help you.
 [23:48:59] '''BlueSpike:'''
Hey Chris, what's up? :)

{{FanChats}}

Template:Da update

2010-10-13T20:34:40Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

<center>[[Image:News.jpg]]</center>
* 12 October - Clyde Cash releases the [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]].
* 12 October - Chris dresses as Fred Flintstone in a [[100 2277|new video]], then pretends he's Cleveland Brown in a [[100 2279|considerably weak video]].
* 10 October - Chris slathers himself in blue paint and transforms into his [[ECV 00002|super-mode]].
* 9 October - Chris [[ECV 00001|explains]] what the [[Cherokee]] are with a Playstation Move and then he goes on [[A Hike]].
* 7 October - Chris uploads a [[100 2267|video]] where he impersonates [[Clyde Cash]], then [[100 2270|goes on]] to impersonate [[Alec Benson Leary]] and Paul McCartney of The Beatles [[100 2269|too]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
('''[[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|more...]]''')

<noinclude>{{clear}}{{Usage|1= This template sits in a place of pride on the CWCki [[Main Page]]. It is a list of recent Chris-related activity, including new videos, family news and updates to ongoing [[saga]]s. To prevent the list becoming too long, older entries should be removed as newer ones are added - with no more than 6 or 7 entries being displayed. To add new update to the list, simply edit this template and place a brief description of what happened at the top of bulleted list. Entries should also be documented on the [[{{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}|current month article]].}}[[Category:Front page templates]]</noinclude>

October 2010

2010-10-13T17:05:13Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: /* Events of October 2010 */ Erasing redundancies.

[[File:128679185214.png|thumb|Artist's deciption of the first third of the month]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|On '''10 October''' Chris got into his in [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|his super-mode]]]]

'''October 2010''' sees the [[Jackie]] [[Saga]] ongoing, another excuse towards [[Michael Snyder]] and the prospect that Chris's "Trollbusters" antics are likely to continue. So far, Chris has released so many videos, it's as if he's trying to make up for all the time he spent away from the internet.

Following the "success" of his performance as Mr. Popo from last month, Chris appears to have to taken a liking to dress up in various half-assed, homemade costumes consisting of tape, facepaint and construction paper.

==Events of October 2010==
* 1 October - Chris makes an [[100 2261.MOV|apology video]] to [[The GAMe PLACe]], laying the blame for his behavior on [[video game]]-induced [[stress]]. [[Wikipedia#October 2010|The third attempt]] at a Wikipedia article is also made.
* 2 October - Chris uploads two videos. In the first, he demonstrates his like for Mary Poppins by [[I like Mary Poppins|dancing like the chimney sweeps]]. The second video is a full version of the [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|Lars Is Jivin']] video Chris uploaded at the end of last month.
* 3 October - Chris uploads a video where he [[100 2265|dresses up as the Hamburglar]].
* 4 October - Chris decides to [[100 2266|dress up as Grimace]] and sings a song about bullying.
* 7 October - Chris uploads three videos, [[100 2267|impersonating]] [[Clyde Cash]], [[100 2269|the Beatles]], [[100 2270|and]] [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary.]]
* 9 October - Chris uploads a video [[ECV 00001|explaining the Cherokees]]. He later uploads a video of him going on [[A Hike]].
* 10 October - Chris uploads a video where [[ECV 00002|he transforms into Chris-Chan Sonichu]], and goes on to tell people not to badmouth people, and proclaims his love for Jackie.
* 12 October - Chris uploads two videos, one where he [[100 2277|dresses up as Fred Flintstone]] and sings the theme song to The Flintstones, and one where he imitates [[Cleveland Show|Cleveland Brown]].
* 12 October - Clyde Cash releases the [[BlueSpike Skype Logs]].

{{Timeline}}

Sarah May Skype Logs

2010-10-12T20:43:16Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Fixed color coding AGAIN.

'''2/25/09'''
 [5:16:30 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Hey, Maychu.
 [5:16:52 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Hey best friend!
 [5:16:57 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' How are you?
 [5:17:14 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm good, how are you ^^
 [5:18:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm faring well. I've shared the pain with my mother during my Aunt Corina's funeral yesterday. and I have been planning my trip to go to Cleaveland to meet, and escort to virginia, Julie.
 [5:19:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I have received much support in the trip not only from my online fans, including yourself. :)
 [5:19:41 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' but also from God, Jesus, AND the spirit of my Aunt Corina, as I touched her hand before they closed her casket.
 [5:19:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I Heard them, seriously.
 [5:20:21 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' even the spirits from my past Weston family members who were buried at that same church, including my Grandparents and my Great Grandparents.
 [5:20:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm using money I got on my Birthday for the trip.
 [5:20:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
 [5:21:12 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, my gosh!! You heard from God and Jesus?!
 [5:21:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm all set; I have a road map for Eastern USA, directions To Julie and From from mapquest.
 [5:21:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I have set aside six changes of clothes, I'm bringing my cell, PSP and DS with AC adaptors.
 [5:22:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' it's only a 7 hour drive.
 [5:22:10 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes, I did.
 [5:22:29 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, wow, Chris!! What did they say?? And what did your Aunt say??
 [5:22:29 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' "Make the trip and go to Julie," they all said.
 [5:23:09 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I'm not informing my mother and father until the last minute with a note, and photocopy of my printed directions and the portion of my road map with the marked path.
 [5:23:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *based on Mapquest's directions.
 [5:24:11 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Confidentially, I have about 45 dollars in my bank, 16 in my wallet, my phone will be fully charged, and I have a freshly filled tank of gas.
 [5:24:28 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' My mind is set.
 [5:24:56 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh my gosh, Chris!!!!!! This is so exciting!!!!!!
 [5:25:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I even got a scare tatic from Clyde; he said, "we're shipping Julie to China in 10 hours. You have disappointed me." But I know he's just testing me again.
 [5:25:41 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've replied with my fact that tomorrow morning, I'm leaving for Cleaveland to meet Julie and bring her back with me.
 [5:27:00 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, Chris, wow!!!
 [5:27:03 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Does Julie know??
 [5:27:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' not yet.
 [5:27:46 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've been plotting the past few days; I would have gone this morning, but I needed part 2 of my Birthday Bucks, and the full tank of gas, so I waited.
 [5:28:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Listen, Sarah May, I would like you to do me a favor.
 [5:28:19 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' are you going into the Mumble tonight?
 [5:28:32 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I will do you any favour, Chris-chan :)
 [5:28:37 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' cool.
 [5:29:23 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, make sure Clyde and/or Julie's brother, Max, are in there. Copy and Paste what I have just typed up for you, for all, ESPICIALLY those two to read and know.
 [5:29:58 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I would go on there myself, but I need my sleep for the trip, and I plan on getting up at about 4 AM, and leaving at 5 or 5:30 AM.
 [5:30:18 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' start fresh with the dawn.
 [5:30:34 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' if I follow Mapquest's direstions, I should be there Noontime.
 [5:30:38 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I will, of course, Chris. Anything you want.
 [5:30:44 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Thank you.
 [5:30:45 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:30:49 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm so excited, Chris..
 [5:30:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' You can do this, I know you can!!
 [5:31:23 PM] '''Sarah May:''' If you don't.. Julie will be so upset.. :( And what if Clyde isn't lying..? You know what he did to Panda..
 [5:31:52 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' ]:) I am determined and set on this trip.
 [5:32:22 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm so proud of you.. and you're totally ready and everything..
 [5:32:27 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Julie will be sooo impressed!!
 [5:32:42 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I bet when you get there.. she won't be able to keep her hands off you! ;)
 [5:32:47 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:32:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I gtg; I'll TTYL.
 [5:33:01 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, okay, Chris <3
 [5:33:05 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Talk to you tonight?
 [5:33:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Please don't forget to log in and Copy/Paste. Thank You.
 [5:33:16 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I promise I won't. :)
 [5:33:22 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' no; I'm going to need my rest for to get up at 4 AM
 [5:33:39 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Alright, Chris, can you contact me at all between now and then?
 [5:33:47 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I still have a few more items to do in preperation before bedtime.
 [5:33:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace. :)
 [5:34:11 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Chris, I'm so proud. :) Go for it! It'll be so romantic when you show up on her doorstep. :)
 [5:34:20 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I love you! Have fun!! ;)
 [5:41:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've just read your PSN message; you've made something for me? :)
 [5:41:46 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Yes I have :)
 [5:42:06 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Link me to it, or what is it?
 [5:42:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' also, thank you for the greeting. :-*
 [5:42:36 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Birthday Greeting
 [5:43:40 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' please.
 [5:43:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:46:25 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Sure thing! ^^ Sorry, had to find it. <3
Sarah May
 [5:46:34 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' it's cool. :)
 [5:46:51 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I worked really hard on it.. hope you like it! ^^
 [5:47:09 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' ^^
 [5:48:39 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' It's cute.
 [5:48:55 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Thank you. :)
 [5:49:14 PM] '''Sarah May:''' No problem.. Happy birthday, Chris-chan! Maybe it can go on your site one day. ^^
 [5:49:30 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' in the Luv Shack, after I get back with Julie.
 [5:49:39 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:49:40 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Awesome, Chris, you're the best. ^^
 [5:49:44 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Have an AWESOME time!!!
 [5:51:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Just so you know, sexual images would have been preffered, but I saw in what you drew that you had me in your heart, and in your imagination ;) , when you drew it up.
 [5:51:31 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Non-Sexual images
 [5:51:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' non-nudity
 [5:51:55 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' my bad on using the wrong word at first.
 [5:52:01 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'll TTYL.
 [5:52:18 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm trusting and counting on you to spread the word on Mumble tonight. :)
 [5:52:24 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace again. :-*
 
 
 '''2/27/09'''
 [12:20:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Chris-chan!! <33
 [12:21:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Hey, Maychu. How are you?
 [12:21:33 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Are you in Cleveland?
 [12:22:00 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' no, but I did go. I sent you the details of my trip on the PSN
 [12:24:08 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Checking it out now
 [12:24:13 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'll respond there, if you'd like
 [12:24:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' if you'd prefer to keep your responses from the eyes of those watching my Skype typings, you may. Otherwise, you may respond here if you wish.
 [12:30:29 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I also have evidence of my journey, my receipts from the stores and gas stations I visited and paid with my debit card on.
 [12:30:46 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' some I paid in cash.
 [12:30:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, Chris, can I see?
 [12:31:35 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I want to be able to tell Julie that you tried your best for her!
 [12:32:16 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I don't have them scanned, but I can read to you, verbatim, the address of a store closest to Ohio I've stopped at.
 [12:32:42 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, could you get a scan later on, then? :)
 [12:33:36 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' okay, but I'll blur out my card number, even tough they left the last four digits.
 [12:33:59 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, I visited a Sheetz and a Sonic, nearby a Wal-Mart Super Center with an enclosed Subway.
 [12:34:23 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Sheetz: 9745 St. Rt. 14
Streetsboro, OH 44241
 [12:34:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Sonic: 9780 State Route 14
Streetsboro, OH 44241
 [12:36:33 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I got 11.68 dollars worth of regular at Sheetz at 1.829/Gallon, and I got a dollar burger and a Lemon/Berry Slushie at Sonic.
 [12:38:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' BTW, the slushie was good; they used REAL fruit in making it. :P
 [12:38:31 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' there were Two Lemon wedges in there.
 [12:38:56 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' did you get all that?
 [12:39:26 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Yes I did
 [12:39:36 PM] '''Sarah May:''' And I really do appreciate you telling me!
 [12:39:48 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm currently reading your PSN messages, just so you know.
 [12:40:19 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' that information, about the receipts and what I bought where, you may share with the fanbase, as PROOF that I actually made the 800+ Mile round-trip.
 [12:40:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I'll scan the two receipts I've mentioned for you later today.
 [12:40:45 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Blurring out my card number.
 [12:40:57 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I would really appreciate that, Chris. :)
 [12:41:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *and I'll add something of Sonichu to the Scan.
 [12:41:22 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *each scan of the receipts
 [12:41:36 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oooh, that would be great :)
 [12:41:57 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' in any case, I am still undecided about Julie at the moment.
 [12:42:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I gtg do some things, but I'll TTYL.
 [12:42:24 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and thank you for staying alive for me. :-*
 [12:43:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' so you can be here for me now at this time.
 [12:43:06 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [12:43:11 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace.
 [12:43:18 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Of course. I will respond on the PSN soon. :)
 [12:43:24 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Love you Chris! We will talk later. ^^

Sarah May Skype Logs

2010-10-12T20:42:10Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Fixed color coding.

'''2/25/09'''
 [5:16:30 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Hey, Maychu.
 [5:16:52 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Hey best friend!
 [5:16:57 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' How are you?
 [5:17:14 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm good, how are you ^^
 [5:18:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm faring well. I've shared the pain with my mother during my Aunt Corina's funeral yesterday. and I have been planning my trip to go to Cleaveland to meet, and escort to virginia, Julie.
 [5:19:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I have received much support in the trip not only from my online fans, including yourself. :)
 [5:19:41 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' but also from God, Jesus, AND the spirit of my Aunt Corina, as I touched her hand before they closed her casket.
 [5:19:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I Heard them, seriously.
 [5:20:21 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' even the spirits from my past Weston family members who were buried at that same church, including my Grandparents and my Great Grandparents.
 [5:20:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm using money I got on my Birthday for the trip.
 [5:20:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
 [5:21:12 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, my gosh!! You heard from God and Jesus?!
 [5:21:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm all set; I have a road map for Eastern USA, directions To Julie and From from mapquest.
 [5:21:49 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I have set aside six changes of clothes, I'm bringing my cell, PSP and DS with AC adaptors.
 [5:22:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' it's only a 7 hour drive.
 [5:22:10 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' yes, I did.
 [5:22:29 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, wow, Chris!! What did they say?? And what did your Aunt say??
 [5:22:29 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' "Make the trip and go to Julie," they all said.
 [5:23:09 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I'm not informing my mother and father until the last minute with a note, and photocopy of my printed directions and the portion of my road map with the marked path.
 [5:23:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *based on Mapquest's directions.
 [5:24:11 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Confidentially, I have about 45 dollars in my bank, 16 in my wallet, my phone will be fully charged, and I have a freshly filled tank of gas.
 [5:24:28 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' My mind is set.
 [5:24:56 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh my gosh, Chris!!!!!! This is so exciting!!!!!!
 [5:25:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I even got a scare tatic from Clyde; he said, "we're shipping Julie to China in 10 hours. You have disappointed me." But I know he's just testing me again.
 [5:25:41 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've replied with my fact that tomorrow morning, I'm leaving for Cleaveland to meet Julie and bring her back with me.
 [5:27:00 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, Chris, wow!!!
 [5:27:03 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Does Julie know??
 [5:27:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' not yet.
 [5:27:46 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've been plotting the past few days; I would have gone this morning, but I needed part 2 of my Birthday Bucks, and the full tank of gas, so I waited.
 [5:28:14 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Listen, Sarah May, I would like you to do me a favor.
 [5:28:19 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' are you going into the Mumble tonight?
 [5:28:32 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I will do you any favour, Chris-chan :)
 [5:28:37 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' cool.
 [5:29:23 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, make sure Clyde and/or Julie's brother, Max, are in there. Copy and Paste what I have just typed up for you, for all, ESPICIALLY those two to read and know.
 [5:29:58 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I would go on there myself, but I need my sleep for the trip, and I plan on getting up at about 4 AM, and leaving at 5 or 5:30 AM.
 [5:30:18 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' start fresh with the dawn.
 [5:30:34 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' if I follow Mapquest's direstions, I should be there Noontime.
 [5:30:38 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I will, of course, Chris. Anything you want.
 [5:30:44 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Thank you.
 [5:30:45 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:30:49 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm so excited, Chris..
 [5:30:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' You can do this, I know you can!!
 [5:31:23 PM] '''Sarah May:''' If you don't.. Julie will be so upset.. :( And what if Clyde isn't lying..? You know what he did to Panda..
 [5:31:52 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' ]:) I am determined and set on this trip.
 [5:32:22 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm so proud of you.. and you're totally ready and everything..
 [5:32:27 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Julie will be sooo impressed!!
 [5:32:42 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I bet when you get there.. she won't be able to keep her hands off you! ;)
 [5:32:47 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:32:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I gtg; I'll TTYL.
 [5:33:01 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, okay, Chris <3
 [5:33:05 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Talk to you tonight?
 [5:33:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Please don't forget to log in and Copy/Paste. Thank You.
 [5:33:16 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I promise I won't. :)
 [5:33:22 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' no; I'm going to need my rest for to get up at 4 AM
 [5:33:39 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Alright, Chris, can you contact me at all between now and then?
 [5:33:47 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I still have a few more items to do in preperation before bedtime.
 [5:33:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace. :)
 [5:34:11 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Chris, I'm so proud. :) Go for it! It'll be so romantic when you show up on her doorstep. :)
 [5:34:20 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I love you! Have fun!! ;)
 [5:41:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I've just read your PSN message; you've made something for me? :)
 [5:41:46 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Yes I have :)
 [5:42:06 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Link me to it, or what is it?
 [5:42:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' also, thank you for the greeting. :-*
 [5:42:36 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Birthday Greeting
 [5:43:40 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' please.
 [5:43:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:46:25 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Sure thing! ^^ Sorry, had to find it. <3
Sarah May
 [5:46:34 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' it's cool. :)
 [5:46:51 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I worked really hard on it.. hope you like it! ^^
 [5:47:09 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' ^^
 [5:48:39 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' It's cute.
 [5:48:55 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Thank you. :)
 [5:49:14 PM] '''Sarah May:''' No problem.. Happy birthday, Chris-chan! Maybe it can go on your site one day. ^^
 [5:49:30 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' in the Luv Shack, after I get back with Julie.
 [5:49:39 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [5:49:40 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Awesome, Chris, you're the best. ^^
 [5:49:44 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Have an AWESOME time!!!
 [5:51:17 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Just so you know, sexual images would have been preffered, but I saw in what you drew that you had me in your heart, and in your imagination ;) , when you drew it up.
 [5:51:31 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Non-Sexual images
 [5:51:42 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' non-nudity
 [5:51:55 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' my bad on using the wrong word at first.
 [5:52:01 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'll TTYL.
 [5:52:18 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I'm trusting and counting on you to spread the word on Mumble tonight. :)
 [5:52:24 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace again. :-*
 
 
 '''2/27/09'''
 [12:20:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Chris-chan!! <33
 [12:21:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Hey, Maychu. How are you?
 [12:21:33 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Are you in Cleveland?
 [12:22:00 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' no, but I did go. I sent you the details of my trip on the PSN
 [12:24:08 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Checking it out now
 [12:24:13 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'll respond there, if you'd like
 [12:24:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' if you'd prefer to keep your responses from the eyes of those watching my Skype typings, you may. Otherwise, you may respond here if you wish.
 [12:30:29 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I also have evidence of my journey, my receipts from the stores and gas stations I visited and paid with my debit card on.
 [12:30:46 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' some I paid in cash.
 [12:30:58 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, Chris, can I see?
 [12:31:35 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I want to be able to tell Julie that you tried your best for her!
 [12:32:16 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I don't have them scanned, but I can read to you, verbatim, the address of a store closest to Ohio I've stopped at.
 [12:32:42 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oh, could you get a scan later on, then? :)
 [12:33:36 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' okay, but I'll blur out my card number, even tough they left the last four digits.
 [12:33:59 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' anyway, I visited a Sheetz and a Sonic, nearby a Wal-Mart Super Center with an enclosed Subway.
 [12:34:23 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Sheetz: 9745 St. Rt. 14
Streetsboro, OH 44241
 [12:34:54 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Sonic: 9780 State Route 14
Streetsboro, OH 44241
 [12:36:33 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I got 11.68 dollars worth of regular at Sheetz at 1.829/Gallon, and I got a dollar burger and a Lemon/Berry Slushie at Sonic.
 [12:38:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' BTW, the slushie was good; they used REAL fruit in making it. :P
 [12:38:31 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' there were Two Lemon wedges in there.
 [12:38:56 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' did you get all that?
 [12:39:26 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Yes I did
 [12:39:36 PM] '''Sarah May:''' And I really do appreciate you telling me!
 [12:39:48 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I'm currently reading your PSN messages, just so you know.
 [12:40:19 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' that information, about the receipts and what I bought where, you may share with the fanbase, as PROOF that I actually made the 800+ Mile round-trip.
 [12:40:35 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and I'll scan the two receipts I've mentioned for you later today.
 [12:40:45 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *Blurring out my card number.
 [12:40:57 PM] '''Sarah May:''' I would really appreciate that, Chris. :)
 [12:41:08 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *and I'll add something of Sonichu to the Scan.
 [12:41:22 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' *each scan of the receipts
 [12:41:36 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Oooh, that would be great :)
 [12:41:57 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' in any case, I am still undecided about Julie at the moment.
 [12:42:13 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' I gtg do some things, but I'll TTYL.
 [12:42:24 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' and thank you for staying alive for me. :-*
 [12:43:03 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' so you can be here for me now at this time.
 [12:43:06 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' :)
 [12:43:11 PM] '''Christopher C.W.C.:''' Love and Peace.
 [12:43:18 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Of course. I will respond on the PSN soon. :)
 [12:43:24 PM] '''Sarah May:''' Love you Chris! We will talk later. ^^

Talk:XBox is OK.MOV

2010-09-16T21:16:41Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

Guess I'll take a stab at transcribing DIS BITCH. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 14:53, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

What the Fuck is this? Is Chris a "Changed Man"? [[User:ShinGokuIAM|ShinGokuIAM]] 14:54, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:Right, cause we've never seen this before. Adding links to this is going to be annoying....--[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 15:15, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:: The only time he ever mentions that he doesn't hate gays is if it will get him china.--[[User:Monkeytacoz|Monkeytacoz]] 15:29, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

::: His new "sweetheart" probably has a gay brother/sister/dog, a Xbox and told him it is a big no-no to wish people their collective doom (and probably that he should get rid of some vidya). So the manchild follows the prospect of china and does another "I WAS NICE ALL ALONG" video like he did so many times before. --[[User:Derpalerp|Derpalerp]] 16:08, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

:::: Ten bucks says this is related to Jackie somehow. I can feel it. [[User:EtonpilfAnetah|EtonpilfAnetah]] 16:14, 13 September 2010 (PDT)

::::: Considering this and the Jakie video was uploaded in the same day? But yes, likely Jackie is in support of gay rights and decided to try and do damage control. --[[User: SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:01, 13 September 2010 (EST)

Does no one else hear his massive fucking fart at 1:06? Or is that noise something else? --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 18:15, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
: And again at 1:40 --[[User:Mgi|Mgi]] 18:19, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
::Sounds more like something that would have came form the TV, or one of the cats that has lots its way into the Chandler home. --[[User:SerenityMoonstone|SerenityMoonstone]] 21:42, 13 September 2010 (EST)
:::Dear God, it sounds like somebody groaning in agony. [[User:Got2Hands|Got2Hands]] 19:08, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
::::Dirty crapped breifs anyone? Well, cats.... mayyyyyyyybe? I've heard cats make wierd sounds in my time, but never heard that sound before. On one hand, he's not one to hold them in. On the other, I doubt he has the cooordidnation to quief one out while continuing to talk (and not having some kind of expression of exertion on his part to do it).--[[User:Xavier orona|Xavier orona]] 19:19, 13 September 2010 (PDT)
:::::On that note, see [[Ode to Julie]].--[[User:Austin|Austin]] 00:21, 14 September 2010 (PDT)
: I'm pretty sure that it's something from the TV. Don't LBP sack people make noises if just left alone on the screen? If you listen you can hear other quieter background noises that are probably coming from the tv. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 14:16, 16 September 2010 (PDT)

Should it be mentioned anywhere that he's, in fact, not wearing his medallion, so that the whole video is not TRUE AND HONEST, or has it gotten to the point where none of that fucking matters because he's never really TRUE AND HONEST, medallion or not? --[[user:melainia|Melainia]] 20:33, 15 September 2010 (EST)

List of videos

2010-08-27T22:03:28Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

<div style="clear:right; float:right;">__TOC__</div>
__NOEDITSECTION__

{{Video icon key}}



=[[Template:ListOfVideos/1994-2008|1994-2008]]=

{{ListOfVideos/1994-2008}}

=[[Template:ListOfVideos/Jan-Jun2009|January-June 2009]]=

{{ListOfVideos/Jan-Jun2009}}

=[[Template:ListOfVideos/Jul-Dec2009|July-December 2009]]=

{{ListOfVideos/Jul-Dec2009}}

=January 2010 - Present=

==January 2010==

* '''[[This was my fault]]''' ''2 [[January 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{reason}} {{DangerStripeShirt}} Chris asks [[Chris and remorse|for forgiveness]] from the Coca-Cola company and the [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia Closed Due To AIDS|CWCipedia's]] [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|Sysop]] for his infringement of [[Chris and copyright|copyright laws]].

* '''[[Down with Asperchu]]''' ''9 [[January 2010]]'' {{Fanart}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{CaptainFalconShirt}} Since Christian believes he is victorious over the [[homos|gays]] after getting the despised [[CWCipedia#CWCipedia_Advertisements|ads]] taken off of his CWCipedia, he imposes his wrath upon Alec Benson Leary, the creator of [[Asperchu]].

* '''[[12 January 2010|Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2010]]''' ''12 [[January 2010]]'' {{Violence}} {{Fanart}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{DogShirt}} Chris, [[Chris and reality|delusional as always]], mentions talks of a work with now-defunct anime distribution company [[Wikipedia:A.D. Vision|A.D.Vision]] (now known as Section 23) and gives a shout out to a mysterious girl named Ginger before going into a [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] over the [[Asperchu]] ads on his site.

* '''[[14 January 2010|Captain's Log, Startdate January 14th, 2010]]''' ''14 [[January 2010]]'' {{Fanart}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{DogShirt}} In this video, Chris tries to convince the audience that he is [[Lie|a good person]] even after he [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|cursed]] [[Asperchu|someone]] and wished for their [[Death threats|imminent demise]].

* '''[[What's_the_Name,_Christian_Chandler,_C_H_R_I_S_C_H_A_N|What's the Name, Christian Chandler, C H R I S C H A N]]''' ''14 [[January 2010]]'' {{Music}} {{DogShirt}} Chris sings once again, performing his own variation of a "Mr. Plow Remix" that featured in a recent [[The Simpsons]] 20th Anniversary special, about how he is Christian Chandler. He proves that he cannot play the harmonica at all, making his [[Mailbag 21#Chris has something in common with Billy Joel|statement]] in the [[Mailbag]] yet another [[lie]].

* '''[[15 January 2010|Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2010]]''' ''15 [[January 2010]]'' {{Fanart}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{DogShirt}} Chris expresses his desire to [[Homos#Evidence_that_Chris_is_a_homo|take on four dudes at once]] and then proceeds to drop his dox, again.

* '''[[U8C43P2A37A8_y_U8C1N023V0L|Love Sonichu and Hate Asperchu (1337 version)]]''' ''15 [[January 2010]]'' {{Fanart}} {{Crazy}} {{Asperchu}} {{DogShirt}} The video title, '''U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L''', written in some kind of reversed [[Wikipedia:leet|1337]] pseudo-Spanish, is translated as "Love Sonichu and hate Asperchu". Chris tries to be clever by speaking Spanish backwards, but he just ends up sounding like a raving lunatic. He has also been wearing the same shirt for about 4 days now. Take from that what you will.

*'''[[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]''' ''17 [[January 2010]]'' {{Fanart}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris runs down what he considers to be mockeries of himself in Asperchu, calls for [[Patti]]'s spirit to eat Alec's soul for dinner, and threatens to get his church congregation and the FBI to take down the [[Asperpedia]].

*'''[[22 January 2010|Captain's Log, Stardate January 22nd, 2010]]''' ''22 [[January 2010]]'' {{Homos}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris denies the homosexual implications of giving Asperchu a makeover by including home remodeling, cooking, and "myth busting" under the heading of "makeovers."

*'''[[29 January 2010|Captain's Log, Stardate January 25th or 26th, 2010]]''' ''29 [[January 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{VertRedGreenShirt}} Chris apologizes to Alec and asks him to reduce the size of the Asperchu ads on the CWCipedia. He also dictates what letters the fans of Sonichu should send him if they want answers in the Mailbag.

==February 2010==

*'''[[CWC address to Royal Board]]''' ''1 [[February 2010]]'' {{Comics}} {{Racism}} {{Reason}} {{RedStripeShirt}} Chris, having been told that Sonichu violates a UK [[Chris and copyright|copyright]], attempts to make his case to the Royal Board of Certification. For some reason, he seems hesitant to mention that Sonichu is based off of Sonic the Hedgehog, as though he's dimly aware that he's plagiarizing like crazy.

*'''[[Address to Mao, the S.O.B.]]''' ''1 [[February 2010]]'' {{Homos}} {{Website}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{RedStripeShirt}} Chris casts another Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, this time at Asperpedia's Mao, over the new homoerotic ads on CWCipedia.

*'''[[Apologies to Alec and Evan]]''' ''1 [[February 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{RedStripeShirt}} After cursing Mao, Chris excuse himself to Alec and Evan for the "[[Death threats|Past Unformalities]]" and ask if he can tone down his publicity on CWCipedia.

*'''[[5 February 2010|I Am Alive]]''' ''5 [[February 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{VertBlueGrayShirt}} Chris reacts to the rumors of his premature death, claims that he will kill off [[Simonla Rosechu|Simonla]], and says that he is sorry for spreading rumors regarding Alec.

*'''[[9 February 2010|Captain's Log, Stardate February 9th, 2010]]''' ''9 [[February 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Rage}} {{Asperchu}} {{StraightWhiteLinesShirt}} Chris makes a video about how Mao, Alec, Evan and Sean have destroyed the [[CWCipedia|undestroyable]].

*'''[[Christian Love Day (video)|Christian Love Day]]''' ''23 [[February 2010]]'' {{Crazy}} {{RedBlueShirt}} Chris proclaims that the trolls may take his dignity, but they'll never take HIS FREEDO- I mean, Christian Love Day!

*'''[[Magical Man Potion]]''' ''24 [[February 2010]]'' {{Crazy}} {{OrangeShirt}} Chris mixes up yet another [[fapcup|disgusting concoction]], but this time it turns him into someone less pathetic.

*'''[[PS3 Tutorial for my fans]]''' ''24 [[February 2010]]'' {{Video games}} {{Crazy}} Chris attempts to explain the PS3 and PlayStation Network.

==March 2010==

*'''[[03022010|Captain's Log, Stardate March 2nd, 2009]]''' ''02 [[March 2010]]'' {{Comics}} {{Website}} {{Reason}} {{Asperchu}} {{TanWideLines}} Chris apologizes to Alec, and shows off a new Asperchu medallion.

*'''[[Surfshack Tito (video)|Surfshack Tito]]''' ''02 [[March 2010]]'' {{Crazy}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{TanWideLines}} Chris talks about Rocket Power.

*'''[[A message to the Trolls]]''' ''10 [[March 2010]]'' {{Violence}} {{Tragedy}} {{Rage}} {{JokerShirt}} Chris laments the ill effects the trolls have had on his life, and pontificates the feelings of a broken heart. This marks the end of his relationship with [[The Wallflower]].

*'''[[Don't Mess With Me]]''' ''10 [[March 2010]]'' {{Violence}} {{Crazy}} {{Rage}} {{Clyde}} {{JokerShirt}} Chris imagines going Abu Musab al-Zarqawi on [[Clyde Cash]].

*'''[[Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!]]''' ''14 [[March 2010]]'' {{Violence}} {{Crazy}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{TanWideLines}} A kilt-wearing Chris threatens [[Surfshack Tito]] with a panty shot and his amazing knife skills.

*'''[["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!]]''' ''14 [[March 2010]]'' {{Galpals}} {{Sex}} {{Tragedy}} {{Crazy}} {{DangerStripeShirt}} Chris begs the Wallflower to be his [[sweetheart]] so he won't have to pay $100 for a prostitute.

*'''[[Happy Sonichu Day]]''' ''17 [[March 2010]]'' {{Comics}} {{Reason}} {{TanWideLines}} Chris congratulates himself for ten years of Sonichu, and tells his fans to stop pestering him about updates.

*'''[[Chris Drops the N-Bomb]]''' ''17 [[March 2010]]'' {{Racism}} {{Violence}} {{Rage}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{TanWideLines}} Chris drops an [[Niggos|N-Bomb]] on Surfshack Tito.

*'''[[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|C-Ya Later]]''' ''21 [[March 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Comics}} {{Reason}} {{Surfshack Tito}} {{VertRedGreenShirt}} After witnessing the carnage on CWCipedia, Chris vows to stay off the internet. For real this time. Honest.

*'''[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]''' ''22 [[March 2010]]'' {{Television}} {{reason}} {{VertRedGreenShirt}} Chris discusses the quality of the voice acting on [[Family Guy|The Cleveland Show]], 36 hours after vowing to leave the internet forever.

*'''[[F Abstinance]]''' ''28 [[March 2010]]'' {{Sex}} {{Rage}} {{CaptainFalconShirt}} Chris condemns abstinence-based sex education, but for [[Virgin with rage|all the wrong reasons]].

==April 2010==

*'''[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]''' ''12 [[April 2010]]'' {{Racism}} {{Reason}} {{Rage}} {{Audio}} {{Game Place}} Chris returns to the [[Game Place]] and calls the [[Michael Snyder|manager]] "Jew" when he refuses to admit him back. Audio only.

*'''[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]''' ''22 [[April 2010]]'' {{Sex}} {{Crazy}} {{MountAndDoMe}} {{Cwcbra2}} {{Leaked}} Chris sets the record straight for his new [[Jackie e-mails|gal-pal]], performs [[Chris and sex|oral sex]] on the camera, and talks about his [[Muscle bra|bra]].

*'''[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]''' ''23 [[April 2010]]'' {{Autism}} {{Reason}} {{Cwcbra}} Chris talks about [[Autism]] while wearing a [[Muscle bra|bra]]. He also chastises men who are topless because nipples should stay a mystery.

==May 2010==

*'''[[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|I Pimp My Ride]]''' ''5 [[May 2010]]'' {{Video games}} {{Smug}} {{PokemonLeague}} Chris brags about ruining his PS3.

*'''[[100 2178]]''' ''8 [[May 2010]]'' {{Tragedy}} {{Crazy}} {{OrangeSleeveless}} Chris sits in the dark and blames the Greene County school system for his having no friends.

*'''[[05142010]]''' ''15 [[May 2010]]'' {{Autism}} {{Tragedy}} {{PityShirt}} Chris talks about a girl murdered by her boyfriend and how he's unable to socialize due to the trolls.

*'''[[Some Favored Comedians]]''' ''20 [[May 2010]]'' {{Rumours}} {{Television}} {{Reason}} {{Comedy}} {{WhiteTShirt}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris mentions his family before analysing voice acting in his favourite TV shows, and talking about his favourite comedians.

*'''[[100 2188]]''' ''27 [[May 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Homos}} {{Rage}} {{BlueTShirt}} {{DenimJacket}} Chris projects about trolls being autistic and obsessed with computers. He is also STRAIGHT.

*'''[[100 2189]]''' ''31 [[May 2010]]'' {{Website}} {{Rumours}} {{Reason}} {{Smug}} Chris makes clear that he still retains the rights to Sonichu despite the CWCipedia being under new ownership. He also encourages the trolls to work harder in order to bring him back to the internet.

==June 2010==

*'''[[6 June 2010]]''' {{Rumours}} {{Reason}} {{RedBlackTrim}} {{Game Place}} Chris tries to explain why he was stalking [[Michael Snyder]] with a camera, and subsequent attempts at vehicular manslaughter. He then blames the internet for all his problems, again.

==August 2010==
*'''[[EXCLUSIVE Manchester High School 2000 Reunion Required NOW]]''' {{Reason}} {{Tragedy}} Chris reaches out to his [[Manchester High School|former classmates]] in an attempt to organize a High School Reunion. He also speaks out against the [[Trolls]] and cyberbullying in general.

*'''[[Stardate, August 27, 2010]]''' {{Tragedy}} {{Video games}} Chris explains how he formatted his [[PS3]]'s hard drive, unexpectedly erasing all his content. Having learned about the true meaning of formatting and effectively destroying the most important aspect of his life, Chris concedes "victory" to the trolls.

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|*List of Captain's Logs]]

User talk:DStecks

2010-08-04T19:29:48Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and donts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions| FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:Mellowyellowsalvation|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

Also, make sure you sign your posts on talk pages. It's real easy, you just gotta leave four tildes(~) after you write something. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 12:27, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

User talk:DStecks

2010-08-04T19:27:44Z

Mellowyellowsalvation: Created page with "==Hi there!== Welcome to CWCKI! Welcome to CWCki! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I..."

==Hi there!==

[[Image:CWCiki_Introduction.jpg|thumb|300px|Welcome to CWCKI!]]

Welcome to [[CWCki]]! There's a lot to do around here because Chris never does anything himself. I hope you'll stay with us and make many improvements of your own!

:Before you start, be sure to read '''[[A Quick Guide to CWCki]]'''. This will guide you through the dos and donts of editing [[CWCki|the world's most accurate wiki]]. Be especially sure to read this if you consider anonymous to be legion or if you've just come over from [[ED]]. Everything you know is [[lies|wrong]].

:'''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent changes]]''' is a great first stop, because you can see what other people are editing right this minute, and where you can help.

:If you're looking for things to do, check out the '''[[CWCki:Priority Listing|priority listing]]''' for things that need to be done.

:If you haven't already, create a '''[[User:{{PAGENAME}}|user page]]''' about yourself! If you do, we'll be able to know you better as a member of our community. Just don't upload gigantic pictures of yourself and your favorite anime. I warn against this only because it's happened before.

:'''Questions?''' Please read the [[Frequently Asked Questions| FAQ]] first. Later, you can ask in the '''[[CWCki:Community_Portal|Community Portal]]''' or on the "discussion" page associated with each article, join the live chat in our [[Sonichu (IRC)|IRC channel]] or post a message on [[User talk:{{{1|{{<includeonly>subst:REVISIONUSER</includeonly>}}}}}|my talk page]]!

:Once again, welcome to CWCki!

Also, make sure you sign your posts on talk pages. It's real easy, you just gotta leave four tildes(~) after you write something. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 12:27, 4 August 2010 (PDT)

Talk:ModNation Racers

2010-07-19T20:20:12Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

So what information do we have so far on this shit? We know he's asking for bonus material, and we know he's posting on GameFaqs about it. Anything else?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:08, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

He put like 8-16 screencaps of his Sonichu kart and devoted an entire CWCipedia update to this. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:53, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:Before or after the Archive Cogs made, because if after, then good luck finding it now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:06, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
::Here: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Original_CCWC_Art - he considers this "original art". Basically he has a yellow car with his initials on him and has made a racer with a slight resemblance to him. This is from the beta, so who knows what kind of crap he's made since the game has been released. I'm going to put one screencap in the article and leave it at that. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:10, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Dear God... ==

I had a feeling that Chris would get his hands on ModNation Racers. God knows what crap he'll put up on the Internet...--SpaceScreaminJohn 14:59, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

== He has his Beta Track Up ==

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I think "manbaby" is more appropriate than "manchild", given that he soils himself so much. But anyway, thanks for keeping us updated on his movements and activities. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 22:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures and they were in this haunted mansion/abandoned hospital place, and there was a ghost there that they called the 'manbaby', and I kept thinking 'lolchris' [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 23:02, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't have a copy of ModNation or a PS3, so is there any way you could make a video of the new tracks and provide some commentary? That would be great! --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:10, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I agree with Anaconda here. I would love to download his track for laughs of using defaulted Beta Tools, but I do not have the game. If you would upload a video of them, Jinkies, I'm sure it would contribute Greatly to the LULZ. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:13, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:::We should probably handle this like we handle the LBP levels, get some screenshots and summaries up on the page. Jenkins, you're the only one that's played them so far, would you mind adding the level names and a brief description of each to the page?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

:I wouldn't call anything the manbaby did "good" or "neatly recreated", since he has never had an original thought in his tiny retarded brain. Except the attraction sign, and we all know how that turned out. That, and it probably is a piece of crap like his other stuff. I would like to see it, too. I second the video idea. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

Who gives a shit about this bullshit except for how much money Chris is blowing on this. seriously, he spends so much money. I remember during the GoW bullshit that he spent like 20 bucks on stupid dlc. i bet he's already lost like 30 bucks trying to get those mystery mods or whatever. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:44, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

== Pictures of his shitty creations? ==

On his profile page there are images of his shitty creations. Should they be screencapped and put in this article for future reference in case he leaves Modnation? I'm grabbing pictures of them now, but I know shit all about editing wikis and how to put them in the article neatly. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 03:48, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

: The reason I suggest it is that despite abandoning things like the Sonichu medallion, he still insists on putting his bullshit creations everywhere. One of his cars is even SonChu for fucks sake. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 03:51, 18 July 2010 (UTC)

I think yes,as they will be easy to access this way and there will be no risk of losing them if he does end up leaving Modnation. --[[User:MEANWHILE|MEANWHILE]] 02:40, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:Or getting banned for making the 'Be My Sweetheart' car. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 03:38, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::Making a collage that contains all his created characters shouldn't be that hard. I'm not doing anything right now, so I'll give it a shot. Might look like ass though.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 17:26, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

His Twitter updates say the 2.0 version of the track is up. Is anyone going to get it and document it? [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 20:20, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

User:Mellowyellowsalvation

2010-07-19T16:14:40Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

Just a guy who wants to help out with the Wiki. [[User:Mellowyellowsalvation|Mellowyellowsalvation]] 22:24, 10 June 2010 (UTC)
:Hey there, welcome to the Cwcki. :3 [[User:DonnieDarko|DonnieDarko]]

{{collapsible|Userbawxes|<center>{{Atheist}}{{Canuckfag}}{{Ham}}{{JERK}}{{Kitty}}{{Observer}}{{Straight}}{{Troper}}{{White}}</center>}}

Twitter

2010-07-19T15:41:49Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

__NOTOC__{{protip|Yes, Chris really does have a Twitter. Maybe if you paid more attention to [[da update]] you'd know.}}

{{quote|NO TWITTER ALLOWED!!!|Chris's initial reaction}}
{{quote|...I have later decided to go into the Twitter Fad and add a small Feed under the C-Log Box.|Chris [[CWC Blog#28 December 2009|after a change of heart]]}}
{{quote|SHUT UP!|Chris's first tweet tells us exactly what he really thinks}}
[[Image:CWCTwitter.jpg|thumb|right|"'''Short''', '''timely''' messages from Christian W Chandler": Twitter marketing department's biggest inadvertent lie]]
'''Twitter''' is a popular social networking and microblogging service where people can post messages that are up to 140 characters in length. While it has had its uses, it is frequently described as a pointless fad, and if even ''Chris'' calls it a fad, perhaps there is something to this claim.

Chris apparently has no idea why Twitter was designed the way it is designed. Most of the time, he acts as if Twitter is just a normal blog that somehow splits the messages into 140 character chunks. It's almost impossible to read his updates, which obviously makes following and replying to him hard.

== History ==

Chris was inspired to register his own Twitter account, [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu CWCSonichu], when the [[CWCipedia]] administrator insisted on adding [http://twitter.com/#search?q=-RT%20sonichu a live Sonichu Twitter feed] on the CWCipedia [[Mailbag]] page, and later the CWCipedia front page. This feed picked up all mentions of the word "Sonichu" (hence Chris's use of the prefix "C.C. Sonichu says:"), to provide the loyal fanbase ''real-time'' coverage of their favorite comic and game hero and reactions to his weird antics from other fans. The CWCipedia sysop, in their infinite wisdom, elected to allow arbitrary, unmoderated comments from ''all'' fans to appear on the front page, to fully leverage the power of Web 2.0, user-created content, reader participation and all that modern nonsense.

Careful readers may start to notice that there's a slight conflict in this: Chris has stated many times that he wants to be in complete control over CWCipedia. In a development that surprised no one, the live feed was promptly overrun by trolls. Chris was furious, and was compelled to write his own updates to drown out all of the [[homos|gay allegations]] and other [[pickle]]-related activity that was going on on his web page.

However, as it is with all of the other things in this world, Chris's focus on Twitter has waned over time. In [[May 2010]], the live Twitter feed was removed from CWCipedia, because apparently certain trolls failed to notice that Chris quit paying attention to his own web page and ''(*ahem*)'' the [[Fan:CWCville Twitter|activities]] of the trolls in the Twitter feed started to make Chris look positive in comparison.

== Subscriptions ==

Chris followed 30 people and groups, all of them related to gaming. Among these are...

* ''...relevant information on [[PS3|Life Upgrades]]:'' PlayStation, ps3fanboy, PS3_Trophies
* ''...accounts related to [[LittleBigPlanet|the sweetest non-Chinese hobby of all]]:'' Media_Molecule, LittleBigPlanet, LittleBIGFan, SackBoy4Pluto, Mm_Sackgirl
* ''...respectable, reliable and impartial game journalists and media:'' Veronica <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[10 September 2009|Veronica Belmont]]<nowiki>]</nowiki>, Qore, GamesRadar, GameTrailers, gamespot, IGN, g4tv, GamePro, xplay, gamenewsps3 <nowiki>[G4]</nowiki>, gameinformer
* ''...game houses which produce games that Chris may play, if properly baited away from LittleBigPlanet-related activities:'' Naughty_Dog, insomniacgames, SEGA, EA, Ubisoft, CriterionGames, NISAmerica <nowiki>[Nippon Ichi Software]</nowiki>, RockBand, namcogames
* ''...[[Monthly Tugboat|tugboat]] sailing destinations:'' amazongames
* ''...events which Chris doesn't attend:'' Official_PAX

Noticeably, Veronica Belmont (a video game show host and also, omg, a female) is the only real person among these subscriptions. This does wonders to dispel rumors that Chris is a living video game geek stereotype and hence beyond merely undateable.

== Chris's Twitter ramblings ==

=== 27 December 2009 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| SHUT UP!
| 03:26 UTC
|-
| I, Christian Weston Chandler, DO NOT SUPPORT GAY LIFE WHATSOEVER!
| 03:27 UTC
|-
| Listen to me, Clyde Cash and Jack Thadius are BOTH GOD DAMN TROLLS! DO NOT LISTEN TO EITHER OF THEM!
| 03:27 UTC
|-
|}

These precede the "test" the following day, and don't have the "C.C. Sonichu says:" prefix. Apparently, at the time, Chris was confused on how the Twitter feed works and [[Honor Roll|had to be told explicitly by the Management how to work this thing]].

=== 28 December 2009 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: This is a test for the Twitter Feed on the Cwcipedia.
| 17:49 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I apologize for uploading late; fell asleep early; plan to adjust upload time accordingly; it's all cool.
| 17:56 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I will answer [[mailbag]] later today; had to shovel snow; have more chores to do; stay safe, well and straight.
| 17:57 UTC
|-
|}

=== 29 December 2009 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have just replied to the set of letters in the [[Mailbag 23|23rd mailbag]]; I detest the homos and all people who continue to lable me
| 00:58 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I, Christian Weston Chandler, am Straight, and I will remain as such FOREVER; Quit Mislabeling ME and my characters!
| 01:00 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I am very sick and tired having to deal with any letters and discussions from people who are GROSSLY In Error on the fact
| 01:01 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu Says: I had to CORRECT one whole letter, sending the wrong original into the Reject Mailbag. DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE TO DEAL...
| 01:02 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: ...WITH THAT GOD DAMN CRAP!
| 01:02 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: *taking deep breaths*
| 01:03 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I'm going to answer the Common Questions now; afterwards, if you have any questions, you may check for it being answered
| 01:04 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: And if your question is not there, then you may ask it in your letter; I do not like to repeat myself, that is my...
| 01:05 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: ...Father's Job; repeating himself in speech. UGH!!!!
| 01:05 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I've just finished the Common Questions. To answer a Tweeted Question, Minute Maid Lemonade or Coca Cola.
| 01:34 UTC
|-
|}

Chris actually spelled out "*taking deep breaths*". While people sometimes explain in text-based media what they're doing in response to comments, and describe how they're feeling, this comes across as explaining things a bit too literally. Instead of drawing attention to his anger, he draws attention to the fluid dynamics of his body.

=== 30 December 2009 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: Recent Cwcipedia Updates: Answered two mailbags; Started Community Link List; Adjusting schedule for [[biological clock]] fix
| 01:55 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I am coloring in the current pair of pages; one of which along with a few future pages will have real-life me within...
| 21:38 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: After coloring is completed, I will log in, answer more letters and a couple of other updates. Thank you for paitience.
| 21:41 UTC
|-
|}

=== 31 December 2009 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I am up-to-date now on all of the mailbags; I also added a new featured video I feel teaches a most important lesson.
| 03:18 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have completed and uploaded two new pages for [[Sonichu 10|Book 10]]; I will answer another mailbag later this afternoon...
| 17:04 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: NO ADVERTISEMENTS ARE ALLOWED IN THE INTRODUCTION BOX, and as Captain of this Cwcipedia, I will be respetected.
| 17:06 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I answered another mailbag; I answered more [[Common Questions]] for the F.A.Q.; feeling tired, will rest then start next...
| 23:23 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: ...pages.
| 23:23 UTC
|-
|}

=== 02 January 2010 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have completed my updates for the day; 2 more pages for 10th book; another mailbag and more F.A.Q.s answered...
| 02:11 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says:...and I assert my right as Captain of Cwcipedia with My Own Ads around the site that I FULLY SUPPORT...
| 02:12 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says:...Removal of Any of ALL of MY Ads is consider Mutiny, and Mutiny will not be tolerated. Stay Safe, and have a good day.
| 02:12 UTC
|-
|}

=== 05 January 2010 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have just noticed the Cwcipedia is back up; I was in middle of drawing a 6th page; decided to take a break and check...
| 01:22 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I will answer two mailbags tonight; I will upload the 6 pages from today and the past weekend tomorrow around noon, EST.
| 01:23 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have learned from my mistake; I promise not to dwell on Jack's Ads (at least they're non-offensive right now)...
| 01:26 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: And the Cwcipedia has some money to last for months to years anyway; I will not repeat the mistake I have made recently.
| 01:27 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I apologize for the downtime, and I appreciate all of y'all's loyalty and patience; Stay Safe, and have a good day.
| 01:28 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: Minor setback, I am having trouble logging in; I'm looking into it with the SysOp; If I don't update tonight...
| 02:00 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says:...I will definitely update tomorrow.
| 02:00 UTC
|-
|}

=== 06 January 2010 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: Good evening; I apologize for being late; had a trip with family and chores to do earlier...
| 03:24 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: Anyway, I have 5 more pages to be uploaded shortly; will answer another mailbag after uploading.
| 03:25 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: will have another pair of pages tomorrow as usual. Enjoy the set of pages for now...
| 03:26 UTC
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: ...and I hope Clyde and Jack get the MESSAGE of if they do not make ammends for their misdeeds, devils will gnash theirs.
| 03:27 UTC
|-
|}

=== 07 January 2010 ===

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Text
! Time
|-
| C.C. Sonichu says: I have another pair of pages; I will answer another mailbag; not much else at the moment; Stay Safe.
| 03:03 UTC
|-
|}

=== 08 January 2010 ===

{| class="wikitable"
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| C.C. Sonichu says: I have two more pages; expect a few fun moments the next few pages leading from P 38; since ad in intro box is gone...
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| C.C. Sonichu says: I will change the introduction icon with the absence of the quote as promised; and I will answer another mailbag.StaySafe
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=== 13 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: With current log-in troubles, I do have announcements to make within the next bunch of Tweets, so Pleas Pay Attention!!!
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Firstly, I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within Cwcville, yet gay marriage is still..
| 03:20 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: .Illegal and Wrong.
| 03:21 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Second, I am aware of the reasons of the Trio of individuals who are behind the Hideous Asperpedia of WHY they are...
| 03:22 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...tormenting me like this. If they will Read the following, or if anyone will relay, I will make amends towards them
| 03:22 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: To Alec: You have NO RIGHT in drawing MY characters in your comics, because I have specifically spoke AGAINST IT,...
| 03:23 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...and you DARE to copy and paste my response and STRIKE AND ADD IN ONLY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR! I admit I have done that
| 03:24 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: in some Mailbag letters, and I apologize for that, but I did that sometimes, because I felt offended by some of their
| 03:24 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: content. I would appreciate it if you would just give up your game, remove all the ads on MY Cwcipedia, and just move on
| 03:25 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: YOU HAVE your own life in Minnesota at your Amtrak; Quit Messing Up My Life, or I WILL come after you.
| 03:26 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: To Evan George: I offered to make Simonchu and Simonla Brother and Sister, yet you continue on to give me grief and hate
| 03:26 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: The offer was reasonable, so the two can be Separate, Individual Characters. I would appreciate it if you quit hating
| 03:27 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: me, accept the brother/sister plan, and Let It Go.
| 03:27 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: To Sean: Your comic strips are only an extension to WHAT YOU THINK are characters who are Underappreciated, when they
| 03:28 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: are not, and I have plans for them in future tales. Firstly, METAL SONICHU is NOT a secondary character; HE will be
| 03:28 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: making his return as a MAJOR VILLIAN after Book 11 Possessed by the soul of Count Graduon.
| 03:29 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Bill is still working within Giovanni's Laboratory, I am working on a plan on including him in a future episode around
| 03:29 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Blake. The WAILORD who dropped the rock onto the mother Swampert and the Squirtle who Yawned are ONLY Individual
| 03:30 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: characters who I originally had NO plans on putting into future stories, so ASSUME that the two were BOTH caught by
| 03:31 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Pok'emon Trainers in Pok'e Balls and now the two are fighting with their trainers in Pok'emon Battles.
| 03:34 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: And to all those who I offended about the talk with Aspergers, I apologize. I have nothing AGAINST any individual with
| 03:35 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Aspergers, and I promise to not be mean, but nice, to them and all other individuals.
| 03:35 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: So, Please, to everyone, let's move on peacefully and live our lives well.
| 03:36 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Thank you.
| 03:36 UTC
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|}

=== 15 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I will repeat once more; I have NO association with Alec Benson Leary OR his Asperchu AT ALL, and Asperchu is NOT MINE.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Now then, Another two pages are up; Crystal is OUT OF THE MIRROR. I will answer some Mailbag Questions tonight.
| 05:35 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Note though, not ALL Objectionable Letters go to the Reject Pile... more like the Round-Hole Bin.
| 05:36 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Also, IGNORE Alec and his Asperchu; EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM, ALL OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS, and ALL things OUTSIDE the Cwcipedia
| 05:37 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: And ALL "Quotes" that are on HIS Asperpedia that he labels are from me, UNLESS those EXACT Quotes are on the Cwcipedia...
| 05:38 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...I NEVER SAID THOSE "Quotes" AT ALL. Thank you all for your continued loyalty, and Please encourage the Return of all
| 05:39 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: who have turned to the Dark Side that is also Currently known as Asperpedia. Thank you again for your Loyalty. :)
| 05:40 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Just a minor update to inform y'all about the old spanish expression...
| 22:39 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Tu nessicitas U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L para ganar felicidad por vida.
| 22:40 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Learn its pronunciation in my latest YouTube video. I will have two more pages up later. Stay Safe and have a good day.
| 22:41 UTC
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=== 18 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I had to do a bit of research for a few pages, but I am halfway done and will have a LOT of new pages uploaded later.
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=== 19 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I have the pages completed and ready for upload; get ready for a 12-Page Explosion! And there is one explosion too.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: I will also answer a mailbag or two after uploading; await and enjoy within this half-hour.
| 10:21 UTC
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=== 21 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: Congratulate me, I have created my own template, the new CWC-Supported Advertisement; in this box is a current...
| 04:59 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...event or function that I highly agree on and I feel we should support; ONLY I will have control to this ONE Ad box...
| 05:00 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...should ANYONE other than myself change or tamper with it will see trouble from me personally. Thank you for your...
| 05:01 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...cooperation. Also, I will be answering Mailbag(s) tonight. Enjoy the new Poster-Art, and Stay Safe.
| 05:01 UTC
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|}

=== 22 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I am still working on another set of pages; I will have them uploaded later today; I will now answer the current mailbag.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Also, Think about this, WITHIN THE TEN BOOKS At ALL, have I ever gone the way of the SAW movies; Bloody and Gorey? No.
| 11:06 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: I have not. So unless you have strong constitutions, I highly recommend Staying a Sonichu Fan and leaving Alec for good.
| 11:07 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: With the Exception of that One Time, OUTSIDE of the Comic Pages, I would Never draw Blood and Gore within my pages.
| 11:08 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: I promise you that; My Comic Book Pages will NEVER have Blood and Gore in them.
| 11:09 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Stay Safe, and have a good day.
| 11:09 UTC
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|}

=== 25 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I apologize for not being online for a few days, but I have just uploaded 8 new pages; I will answer another mailbag...
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...shortly after making a few more updates; will be creating satisfactory character pages tonight; also, with the...
| 20:01 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...recent number of pages, I took a shot at drawing and coloring 5 pages a day; obviously with real life events and...
| 20:02 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...whatnot, it was too much to ask, so I will get back into the swing of things with 2 or 3 pages a day like before...
| 20:02 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...with the addition of one page at least; I appreciate the paitience of the true and loyal; thank you all very much...
| 20:03 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: you can take a lesson at being a True Sonichu Fan from Rad and his group I mentioned in a recent YouTube video; check...
| 20:04 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...out his song he wrote and composed for me; Rad and his group will have their own page on the Cwcipedia as...
| 20:04 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...Most Honorable and Loyal Sonichu Fan Group. Stay Safe, and have a good day.
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=== 30 January 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: I have just uploaded 6 new pages onto the Cwcipedia; My biological clock has been fickle lately, and that is why I've...
| 02:48 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...been unable to log on and update at the past usual times, I have been crashing early in the late PM; May have finally
| 02:48 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...found a routine I can deal with daily; will answer latest mailbag letters tomorrow morning at about 11, my time.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Stay Safe, and please protest against Mao on the Asperpedia about the overcrowding ads on the Cwcipedia.
| 02:52 UTC
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|}

=== 25 February 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: Book # 10 is Completed in a Bundle Update of Pages; Also meet Wild Sonichu's Daughter, Sandy; Thank you all who have...
| 06:52 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...have sent me Birthday Greetings, with the exception of the Asperchu Four: Alec, Evan, Mao and Sean.
| 06:53 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Sean is the LEAST OFFENSIVE and the WEAKEST of the four; he is a Drug-Headed Loser; read his attorney defense in court.
| 06:54 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Happy Christian Love Day to All, and to all Stay Safe.
| 06:54 UTC
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|}

=== 02 March 2010 ===

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| C.C. Sonichu says: Captain's Log: Stardate, March 1, 2010. My father went to the hospital last night at 3 AM with a case of congested...
| 01:42 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...Heart Failure; he will be back out in a couple of days, but I have had a loong, stressful day. I only got 4 hours...
| 01:42 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...of sleep; I will resume daily updates later this week; Redrawing of the last few pages of Book 10 are in the works...
| 01:43 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...so Alec, his crew and I can be on peaceful terms, and that we can all move on with better stories that are more...
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...cannon to all things Sonichu and Rosechu. I am also working on the pages for Book 11; will upload all that I will...
| 01:45 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...have for Book 11 on the Sonichu 10th Anniversary date of March 17, 2010. Currently, daily updates will mostly...
| 01:46 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...consist of Mailbag Answerings, Bio Page Creations, Captain's Log Updates, etc. I appreciate your loyalty and...
| 01:46 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...patience, and Also, thank yous go out to all who have sent me Positive E-Mails and USMail Letters, cards and presents.
| 01:47 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: With opposite feelings towards the few who sent me Offensive, Graphically Inappropriate "Fanart". But I know all about..
| 01:49 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...4Chan's Favorite Rule 18. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Die with less hatred and even less attention from me, period.
| 01:50 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: To everyone, I bid you a good and safe day.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ~~RULE18~~
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|}

These postings are a little bit uncharacteristic; it's somewhat out of character for Chris to all of a sudden go "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL" and refer to 4chan. However, he's probably just being an idiot as usual. The "Rule 18" stuff most likely actually refers to [[Rule 34]].

=== 10 March 2010 ===

In this gigantic update, Chris discusses the fantasy novel that he and [[The Wallflower]] were planning to write, which they ripped off from the mediocre series ''The Guardians of Ga'Hoole''.

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| C.C. Sonichu says: Captain's Log, Stardate: March 9, 2010: My apologies for not updating the Cwcipedia in a while; I've been chillin'...
| 01:14 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...with my [[The Wallflower|lady friend]]. She and I have started work on a book together; I have put up a [[LittleBigPlanet#The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom|Foretaste Version of a new]]...
| 01:15 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...[[LittleBigPlanet#The Guardian of the Owl Kingdom|LittleBiGPlanet Level]] based off of the story of our book. I think y'all will enjoy the story; essentially, it's the..
| 01:16 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...story of the wise owl (like the ones in "Lord of the Rings" and "Harry Potter"), but in addition to guiding the...
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...students/warriors/magicians/etc., we see his everyday family life and adventures. Our leading owl, King Alistair,...
| 01:18 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...is the King of the kingdom of Heartland, with a human family; his wife, young son and teenage daughter; Alistair was..
| 01:19 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...originally a Human, but a warlock who despised him, transformed him into an owl. But with the help of his family and
| 01:19 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...new friends from other kingdoms, as well as the individuals he wisely guided, and his Royal Guard and Army, they all..
| 01:20 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...stand together to defend Alistair's Grand Kingdom from the forces of enemy predator animal forces and their clan...
| 01:22 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...leaders and the Big Cheese that is the Warlock who changed his majesty. Also, the teenage daughter is a Destined...
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...Guardian of the many, many Owls, as a spirit guided by the Goddess of Wisdom, Athena. The son is to be a great...
| 01:25 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...strong warrior and leader of the Royal Guard and Army, yet he finds it hard to look up to a father who is an Owl.
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Alistair's wife, the Queen, remains loyal to her family and her husband. Her patience is rewarded upon every Full Moon..
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...Night, when Alistair transforms back to his human self, up to the sunrise of the following day, when he transforms...
| 01:28 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...back into his Great Horn Owl form. But during those few nights, their majesties live it up to the fullest. WHOO!!!
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| C.C. Sonichu says: So, check out the Foretaste level on the LBP servers (remember to grab and fly to progress); the full version first level
| 01:30 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...will be uploaded after full completion between me and my little lady. Also, Jack is only getting me to make the...
| 01:32 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...updates on the Cwcipedia sooner, and that's why he saw fit on putting up the grotesque ads there; He did not have my..
| 01:32 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...approval on that step. But I will be making an update on there very soon, and I am sure Jack will remove those ads...
| 01:33 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...shortly after; he is portraying himself as a most rude, impatient individual. jackthethadius@yahoo.com is his e-mail
| 01:36 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: feel free to send your complaints about the ads to him if you wish. I have spoken; thank you for your paitience...
| 01:37 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: Have a nice day. :)
| 01:37 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: One more thing, [[Jack]] had previously agreed to keep the ads Non-Offensive; we had an understanding, and I still have...
| 01:44 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...the e-mails with his agreement to that promise.
| 01:45 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: And a WORD to Jack Thaddius, [[PS3|I HAVE A REAL LIFE TOO]], DUDE, and I am [[Friend zone|making progress with my Lady Friend]]; your misdeeds...
| 01:46 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...have been noted, and you are only HURTING YOURSELF in getting paid back, because the OFFENSIVE ADs are a Kryptonite...
| 01:47 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...And IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO MAKE MY UPLOADS AND UPDATES, SO YOU CAN GET PAID, You would do your best to return the...
| 01:48 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...ads to their Non-Offensive State as you had PROMISED beforehand.
| 01:49 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: YOU ARE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF BY HURTING ME, THE [[CWCipedia|CWCIPEDIA]], AND MY FANS, JACK. Let Us All Be In Peace, and you will...
| 01:50 UTC
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| C.C. Sonichu says: ...be fully paid for your Promise Keeping, and your better Patience. You have your own happiness; let me have mine.
| 01:52 UTC
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|}

=== 17 July 2010 ===

After a long period in inactivity, Chris returned to Twitter to demand things for free, beg people to download his shitty [[ModNation]] tracks and lie about drawing more comics.

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| Attention. I am still looking for the Cowboy and Mouse Trap Mystery [[ModNation Racers|Mods]]; I have Two Extra Kratos/Gopher PSN Codes to Trade.
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| Send me your PreOrder Codes with either Cowboy or Mouse Trap Mystery Mods over the PSN to me, Online ID: Sonichu.
| 00:46 UTC
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| After Validation of Content and Validity, a [[God of War|Kratos]]/Gopher Code will be sent back to the sender in a reply.
| 00:47 UTC
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| The Last Day of the Code Usage is tomorrow, July 18, 2010. So please hurry. Thank you for your support.
| 00:47 UTC
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| Also, apoligies to my Sonichu [[Fans]] for [[Chris and the Internet#Attempts to leave the Internet|Leaving the internet]], but rest-assured, I am still working on the [[Sonichu 11|comic pages]] in peace free of trolls
| 00:48 UTC
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| Also, check out my ModNation Stuff, I have some Sweet Mods, Karts and the [[Cwcville]] Beta Track Published (with the Final Cwcville Track in...
| 00:49 UTC
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| ...progress). Official [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] Mods are included, as well as Rosechu's Kart, personal favorite Hot Wheels remakes, favorite...
| 00:50 UTC
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| ...childhood toy remake and others. Please download my Cwcville 2.0 Track to get me my Sharing Splines Trophy. One Away!
| 00:51 UTC
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| Have a good and safe day.
| 00:51 UTC
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|}

=== 19 July 2010 ===
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|The Trades have been fulfilled; I have seen a good amount of support. Thank you all. Everyone have a safe and good day and evening.
| 00:36 UTC
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== External links ==
* [http://twitter.com/CWCSonichu Chris's Official and Originial Microblog]
* [http://twitter.com/#search?q=-RT%20sonichu Live feed]

[[Category:Chris's websites]]

July 2010

2010-07-19T15:29:30Z

Mellowyellowsalvation:

[[File:Report.png|thumb|right|On '''2 July''', Chris manages to get permabanned from [[Flipnote Hatena]], proving he still hasn't learned shit.]]
[[Image:FAF-06092010.jpg|thumb|right|On '''9 July''', Chris is spotted at [[Fridays After Five]] (again).]]

'''July [[2010]]''' began with Chris in the middle of a skirmish of sorts with the Moderators of [[Flipnote Hatena]]. Chris was angry over the fact that [[Chris and his Ego|no one was praising him]], so he deleted the comments on all his flipnotes and disabled commenting. He then uploaded a Flipnote entitled [[My apologies]], in which he spent more time [[Chris and remorse|blaming the trolls than actually apologizing]]. Eventually, the Moderators grew wary of his [[List of Flipnotes|sub-par animations]] and his refusal to adhere to their codes of conduct, and decided to ban Chris from uploading. This became quite arguably the quickest he's managed to get banned on the [[Internet]].

On 17 July, after some further [[Love Quest]] misadventures in public, Chris returned to [[Twitter]] in order to beg people for free ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' mods. He also says that he's still working on ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' pages, but if we take into consideration [[PS3|what he does all day]], this seems very unlikely.

==Events of July 2010==

* 1 July - Chris uploads [[My apologies]] to Flipnote Hatena. It's deleted by Mods moments later, who are apparently now watching Chris like a hawk.
* 2 July - Chris, proving his intelligence once again, reuploads [[Don'tGetTrolled!]], the [[Tagged Flipnote]], [[RandomHumor1#Part Two|part two]] of his random humor series and, of course, [[RomanticLabyrinth]], only to have them all taken down ''again''. He later re-enabled comments. It is currently unknown why, or what reaction this will bring. He was also banned for life from posting anything from his DSi, comments included, for his rule-breaking Flipnotes.
* 3 July - Chris and [[Bob]] are spotted at the [[Coffee Place]] arguing with the manager of the restaurant.
* 4 July - Chris is spotted at [[McIntire Park]], taking photos of girls and throwing rocks at potential [[sweethearts]].
* 9 July - Chris is spotted yet again at [[Fridays After Five]], still stalking women in the real world.
* 17 July - Chris returns to [[Twitter]] with some messages about ''ModNation Racers'' and a promise to keep working on ''Sonichu''.

{{Timeline}}