CWCki - User contributions [en]

Chris and health

2019-05-07T04:16:12Z

Mick92: Because reality turned out to be so much more horrifying.

{{Articleofthenow}}

{{quote|Eat less [[/cow/|cow]] meat; Grilled Chicken is healthier. [[Pickle|Vegetables]] and [[Fanta|Fruit]] are a must; [[A Hike|Walking]] or [[Father Call|Jogging]] is great exercise daily. Standing helps too; play some ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' on [[Gitar of Fail|Guitar]], you have to stand while playing, and move a bit for fun and movement.|[[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]]'s [[Chris and hypocrisy|ironic]] advice for [[Wikipedia:Ivan Drago|Ivan Drago]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Mailbag_2</ref>}}

[[Image:DecayOfManChild.jpg|thumb|A rather optimistic depiction of Chris in later life.]]

Chris, as even those with a cursory knowledge of medicine can plainly see, is not in good '''health'''. Considering his [[obesity]], [[Power|lack of exercise]], [[Christopher Paul Whitney reveal|poor nutrition]], [[ShowerClean|refusal to bathe]], and [[Tour of Chris's House|the grave uncleanliness]] of [[Rental House|his]] [[14 Branchland Court|surroundings]], he has an extremely high chance of developing potentially life-threatening medical problems such as cancer, type 2 diabetes, [[Wikipedia:Atherosclerosis|atherosclerosis]], and possibly a premature [[Chris and death|death]].

==Diet and nutrition==
{{main|Obesity}}

[[File:Sonic rainboom $500 1.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris visited McDonalds 10 times in 13 days. It's not even the only fast-food place on the list.]]

[[File:Recycle.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris tends to drink large amounts of soft drinks daily. Occasionally, he mixes them with [[Navy|a special ingredient]].]]

[[File:Hypnosis for fatter ass.png|thumb|200px|Chris wants to use subliminal hypnosis to make his belly slimmer but his ass fatter.]]

Chris is a known fast food lover, eating either [[McDonald's]] or [[Burger King]] at least once a day. He has been known to dine out up to 4 times a day. The fact that he's merely fat and not morbidly obese with such an awe-inspiring calorific intake and inactive lifestyle suggests a fairly high metabolism, one which will almost certainly not last indefinitely. The frequency of his fast food trips was confirmed in 2015 when a Kiwi Farms user sent him $500 to see what he would do with it.

Chris claims that he cooks for himself 4 or 5 days a week,<ref>[[Mumble 6|Mumble #6]]</ref> making his cooking a major source of his nutrition. He has said that he took Home Ec. classes in school and that he owns cookbooks.<ref>[[IRC (18 December 2008)]]</ref> However, when Jackie asked him to cook spaghetti in a YouTube video--an incredibly basic dish, mind you--he dodged responsibility by claiming that [[Barbara]] had blocked the kitchen up with junk, so he instead mimed the act and microwaved some canned spaghetti and meatballs.<ref>[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref> It can be deduced from this that Chris can't or doesn't cook and simply buys microwaveable meals every time he claims to be eating at home.

Many, many times, Chris has been shown to be a glutton for all kinds of food, eating excessively in public places and during parties. His complexion also gives insight into his daily nutrition, often showing various signs of acne and acne scarring. This suggests that Chris never drinks water and focuses a lot more on [[CWC Cola|carbonated]] [[My Coke Rewards|drinks]] and energy drinks (which have been proven to [[Chris and anger|increase erratic behavior]]<ref>[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772143/|Energy Drinks and Youth Self-Reported Hyperactivity/Inattention Symptoms]</ref>). His most probable nutritional intake is as follows:

* '''Breakfast:''' Often nothing because he usually [[Biological clock|sleeps from 6 a.m. to noon]], but when he doesn't do that, he travels to McDonald's or another fast food restaurant with a breakfast menu.
* '''Lunch:''' Something quick at home or fast food.
* '''Dinner:''' Dine out at a fast food place with family, or have a poorly-cooked microwave meal.

[[File:Fat chris.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris showing off his gut in [[October 2017]], as an attempt to make [[Jessica Quinn]] regret breaking up with him.]]

In addition, it is believed that Chris's diet is one of the causes for his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]] (the other one being [[List of things Chris has shoved up his ass|ramming stuff in his rectum]]), as chronic constipation can be one cause of fecal incontinence;<ref>[[Wikipedia:Fecal_incontinence#Constipation|Fecal incontinence on Wikipedia]]</ref> casually, it happens that Chris's diet of McDonald's, microwaveable food, and little or no fruit or vegetables is very likely ridiculously low on fiber and thus a sure-fire way of causing constipation, and Chris has been going on with this diet for who knows how many years.

According to Chris, he eats more vegetables than any other food group.<ref>[[Kacey Call 7]]</ref> The veracity of this statement is dubious, given what is known about Chris's medical history and health in general.

It seems that his diet has finally caught up with him, as it was revealed in the [[Father Call|conversation]] with [[Kacey]]'s father that he was prescribed [[Wikipedia:Atorvastatin|Lipitor]] for his high cholesterol. Chris claims that he stopped taking the drug in the fall of [[2009]], but whether he was being honest (especially given the number of obvious [[List of Chris's lies|lies]] he told about his health in the course of the rest of the call) is uncertain.

In 2016, he began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos as an attempt to improve his health. He liked videos such as ''Lose Weight Super Fast!'', ''Produce Odorless Farts Fast!'', ''Eliminate Armpit Odor Permanently Fast!'' and ''Lower Your Blood Pressure Fast! Hypertension Treatment''.

In 2017, Chris had a brief online relationship with [[Jessica Quinn]], who has a fat fetish and influenced Chris with it. The Sonichu comic features an obese Rosechu in [[Sonichu 12|issue 12]]. After their breakup, Chris consumed a large bowl of ice cream, then took a side photo of his gut, saying, "THIS!!! Right Here was ALLLLL HERS!!!!!!"<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/October_2017_Facebook_posts#Quinn.27s_missing_out</ref>

In short, Chris is a fatty, yet he denies it, and his food makes him shit himself.

===Places where Chris likes to eat===
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]] (has closed its doors in Charlottesville)
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]
* [[Burger King]]

{{clear}}

==Exercise==

<center>{{#ev:youtube|c7BcDvftwhI}}</center>

{{quote|[…] while my body is Strong and [[Power]]ful, I am unable to Run Fast without losing breath 10-Seconds in [[Sonic]]-Running Speed.|[[CWCipedia]]<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Private_villa_of_corrupted_citizens#I_DO.21</ref>}}

[[File:Cwcstrongman.JPG|thumb|[[I AM STRONG]]!]]

Chris has not had any regular exercise since leaving [[Manchester High School|high school]], and the lack of physical activity has contributed to his already ballooning shape. Since he barely leaves his house and focuses his time on playing [[vidya]], his lack of exposure to the sunlight has left his skin a frightening pallor that starkly contrasts to the dark background of his room, while making videos. Also, most fat people have strong, stocky legs, due to carrying around all that weight, but since Chris very rarely performs any task more physically demanding than [[Guitar Hero|standing up]], his muscles have withered away, leaving a body made almost entirely out of fat, as evidenced by his incredibly thin and weak arms [[Sign Destruction Video|that are incapable of breaking wooden sticks]] and [[Chris Loses It|barely capable of tearing cardboard]].

When questioned about exercise, he regarded standing up and playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' as exercise.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> Needless to say, Chris is clearly delusional. In Chris's [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa the Rapper'' contest entry]], where he foolishly chose to dance, he seemed to get tired very easily from dancing for a mere 30 seconds and even stopped recording to take a break (evidenced by the abrupt change of position). While attending [[Fridays After Five]] for a while, he danced in public like a stroke victim, then sat down to rest and play some vidya outdoors. Despite this, in [[WelcometoBollywood]] he is capable of dancing in place for over 7 minutes. Whether or not he did this with the magic of jump cuts remains to be seen.

During the later stages of his infatuation with [[Kacey]], many of Chris's videos showed a growing obsession with his own physical power. Chris apparently believes himself to be a nigh-unstoppable testament to human might, and has made several videos dedicated to flexing and [[30 Push-Ups|feats]] of [[11042009 51 50|strength]], performing Herculean tasks such as lifting boxes of Minute Maid lemonade and almost doing fake push-ups. He appears to believe that he could've defeated both his rivals [[Gregg Mays]] and [[Liquid Chris]] should've it to came to blows, and as such had challenged them to fisticuffs multiple times.

Of course, Chris is once again completely delusional about his own abilities. The push-ups and curls he has struggled to do on camera only serve to demonstrate exactly how hopelessly out of shape he really is. He's so fat and his muscles are so small that it's never clear whether he's actually flexing, and the [[CWC Fighter|fighting]] [[Challenge for Clyde|moves]] he's shown us are laughably incompetent. Were Chris to [[I Got A Fish|get his wish]] and physically confront Gregg or Liquid, he would definitely have his ass handed to him.

In the [[Father Call]] and the subsequent [[Kacey and Liquid Call]], Chris made various claims about having taken up jogging. At one point he claimed to jog 5 miles (8 kilometers) a day, but it didn't take long for Kacey and her father to call him out on this obvious lie. The truth is clearly shown in [[Sonichu's Edge]], where Chris runs only a fraction of a mile and had to take 6 breaks to catch his breath, whereas a person in decent health would take a few seconds to jog the same distance without having to stop as often as Chris did.

Chris's lack of muscle tone may stem from hypotonia (lack of muscle tone), which can occur in people on the [[autism]] spectrum,<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypotonia</ref> although it is clear that his poor lifestyle has only exacerbated this.

===Anytime Fitness===
[[File:Chris at Anytime Fitness.jpg|thumb|left|200px|A fan spotted him at the gym and snapped his photo.]]

It wouldn't be until early [[2018]] that Chris would officially start some form of exercise regime, specifically taking frequent workouts at Anytime Fitness. He uploaded [[One-Hundred!]], a video of him working out with actual dumbbells of 20 pounds each. He followed up by taking a selfie at an Anytime gym of him on a treadmill "speed walking 4 mph for two hours".<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/April_2018_social_media_posts#Exercising_on_a_treadmill</ref>

A couple of weeks after the treadmill update, Chris was cocky enough about his new lifestyle change to use a put-down of telling other people they could stand to go to the gym to lose weight.<ref>[[May 2018 social media posts#Mad at Facebook friends]]</ref>

{{quotebox|You are now Blocked. Before continuing to insult me whenever possible you should consider Going to the Gym Yourself, as I feel YOU could stand to Lose Some Weight!}}

On 7 May, Chris lamented the fact that [[weens]] had been calling up the gym to harass management about him:

{{quotebox|You Jerks and Trolls ruin EVERYTHING! I CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE GYM WITHOUT YOU HARASSING THE GYM THAT I GO TO!<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/993696407369408513</ref>}}

Later, [[Emily]] shared information that Chris had been banned:

{{quoteboxyellow|Chris was legitimately getting complaints from fellow gym goers regarding being [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|gassy]] and [[Fangs|burping]] a whole lot. So he already had a strike against him for that, then couple that with [[Weens|people]] calling them inevitably got him banned.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/5-7-chris-rejects-group-of-twitter-orbiters.42802/page-5#post-3333710</ref>}}

In the [[Copitz]] interview, Chris claimed that he had only been banned from the [[Ruckersville]] location, and was still regularly going to another undisclosed location in the [[Charlottesville]] area.

===Walking for exercise===
{{quote|Yes, the nature today is beautiful, and it was great temperature for a four-plus mile walk up the Monticello Trail. 😊 ⚡️💙⚡️|Chris<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1052243316274802691</ref>}}

The exercise habit from Anytime Fitness stuck with Chris, as he continued to go on walks, as seen in [[Walking to the post office]] and him mentioning that he goes on nature walks with his support group<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1043912418198532096</ref>. In December 2018, he purchased a [[treadmill]], and filmed himself using it. For the first time in a long time, it would seem that Chris has started paying at least some attention to one facet of his health.

===#BronyBabes===
{{main|Brony Babes}}

Chris began [[2019]] by participating in the #BronyBabes challenge on Twitter with the goal of losing weight.

{{clear}}

==Hygiene==
{{quote|I shower Daily.|Chris<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21 http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu#C.W.C._Gets_A_Big_Power.21]</ref>}}

[[Image:Didyoubathe.JPG|thumb|right|180px|"Did you bathe?" "No"]][[Image:Plusoneshoweroffilth.jpg‎|thumb|left|Where Chris [[Mass debating|marinates in his own filth]].]]

As quoted above, Chris claims to bathe on a daily basis. However, his propensity to lie and reports from people who have interacted with him suggest otherwise. According to [[Emily]], he reeked of "rotten watermelons"; [[Robert Simmons V]] said that he had a variant of the homeless person stank, and field agents have said "body odor masked with gallons of Axe". In fact, it might be that Chris regards [[Axe]] as a substitute for a shower.<ref>In an [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_2/Page_10 ad] Chris made for ''[[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]]'' [[Rosechu]] tells [[Sonichu]] that he smells good, and asks him if he bathed, like it's some kind of event. Sonichu replies that he used Axe instead, suggesting that Chris believes that using aerosol body spray is an acceptable substitute for a shower or bath.</ref> Rosechu seems to confirm this belief, as upon being told of the Axe usage she makes an awful attempt at suggestive wordplay, suggesting both that using Axe makes Sonichu clean enough for sex and that cheap deodorant has an aphrodisiac effect on Rosechu.

It would appear that Chris compounds this hygiene problem by frequently going for days without changing his clothes; perusal of his videos has shown him wearing the same shirt for several days in a row.<ref>A particularly good example is the series of videos starting with [[12 January 2010]] and ending with [[U8C43P2A37A8 y U8C1N023V0L]]. The videos in question were shot between 12-15 [[January 2010]], and in all of them Chris wears the same shirt.</ref> It may be that Chris just gets into "nice" clothing to make his videos and as such doesn't get them dirty, allowing for him to use the same ones repeatedly, although this hygienic habit would be at odds with everything else he does.

The condition of his epidermal system is so poor that it's visibly noticeable, even in his [[Chris and cinematography|low quality videos]]. The texture of grease that is probably permanently adhered to his skin creates a disgusting sheen that reflects a significant amount of light. The same goes for his [[hair]], which is in such poor condition that when he allowed it to grow for the [[Tomgirl Pictures]], many strands were clumped together in greasy, sticky locks, looking akin to the long beard of a homeless man. And even when washed, it looks exactly as greasy and unkempt as it did before, as seen in the [[HairDifference]] videos. This neglect will only make his hair fall out even faster than it already is.

This lack of cleanliness, combined with the state of his [[Chris's Room|room]] where he spends almost all his time, means that Chris and his surroundings must smell absolutely ''disgusting''. Chris evidently simply tolerates the horrible odors, perhaps not noticing them anymore. It may be that he has an abnormally weak or insensitive sense of smell or has gone nose-blind; few other things would allow for such living conditions.

Despite his irregular (at best) use of the shower, Chris is reportedly an enthusiastic consumer of hand sanitizer. [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] recalled that he would scrub his hands with germ-killing jellied alcohol after every post-card-game handshake at [[The GAMe PLACe]] (doubtlessly offending his victorious opponents) and photographs of Chris at [[Fridays After Five]] suggest that he kept a bottle on hand at all times. Additionally, Mimms and Lucas said in their [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A|Q&A session]] that Chris didn't have any noticeable BO during his time at the GAMe PLACe, suggesting that his odor problems would only worsen from that time onward. [[BlueSpike]] also mentions Chris's usage of hand sanitizer throughout [[Julie Reveals Herself]].

{{clear}}

==Living conditions==

''Main article: [[14 Branchland Court]], [[Rental House]]''

[[File:Ebay violin photo - 22 Jun 2014 - 1.jpg|thumb|Only half a year in and already an inhuman cesspool; quite the accomplishment.]]

Simply put, Chris has spent many years growing acclimated to living in conditions of abject filth and untidiness. The photographs and videos of 14 Branchland Court that he has so unwisely shared with the world showcased to us his filthy bathtub, as well as what appeared to be overflowing bins that looked more like mounds of trash, a kitchen sink overflowing with unwashed plates and cutlery, and even an instance of Chris [[Vivitheg's AIM chat|slipping on cat shit]]. Trolls also managed to [[Rocky Shoemaker call|extract]] from [[Rocky Shoemaker]] that the house was suffering some sort of infestation, which led to [[Bob]] being quarantined after being brought to hospital, and Chris being confined to his room to avoid being bitten. When Chris's last video of the house emerged in the months before the [[Destruction of Chris's House|fire]], it was revealed that the problem had only gotten worse since Bob's passing, with whole rooms literally rendered inaccessible, and some filled almost to the ceiling with items [[Barb]] had hoarded, and with various other rooms reduced to crevices carved into Barb's mountains of junk.

Even after the fire, Chris and Barb have seemingly not amended their habits, as far as housekeeping goes. Photographs of the rental house revealed a steadily growing number of [[Lego]] boxes strewn around, as well as something much more alarming; when Chris was taking photographs of his merchandise for [[eBay]], he inadvertently photographed rat feces on the carpet as well. When [[Trolls|concerned customers]] pointed this out Chris [[Chris and reality|flatly denied it]], even though [[Honor roll|he had given them photographic proof to the contrary]]. Moreover, after [[Catherine]] visited in [[August 2014]], she recalled seeing junk "piled up to the ceiling" and the dogs not being housebroken and allowed to urinate and defecate in piles of newspaper on the floor. While Chris and Barb returned to the renovated 14 Branchland Court in [[January 2015]], one can only imagine the reaction of the landlord to the state in which they left the house, which, as of [[April 2015]], was still vacant, probably due to the mess they made.

==Vision==
As evidenced by his oversized, [[Pedo-Glasses|aviator-like glasses]], Chris has a vision problem. Judging by pictures of Chris in his youth, it appears that he began wearing glasses around the time he entered high school. The extent of his eyesight problems is anybody's guess. His glasses are often fogged and [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|dirty]], thus simultaneously improving and worsening his sight along different feature dimensions. Chris often takes them off when things are [[Stress|"getting serious"]], but keeps them on to [[Chris and English|read]]. This is evident in the video in which he [[Captain's_Log,_Stardate_February_10th,_2009|reads a letter from Nintendo]], and in the [[Christian_Weston_Chandler's_FUTURE_MESSAGE|"FUTURE MESSAGE"]] video.

One of Chris' relatives, Dr. David Alan Chandler, happens to be an eye doctor whom Chris has seen in the past. The last time Chris was known to have seen him for an appointment was 6 January 2004.

Chris's driver's license has a restrictive condition checked, which commonly means that the driver must wear glasses in order to legally drive. Whether his vision contributed to the [[Son-Chu#Car_trouble|numerous vehicular incidents]] he has been involved in has yet to be seen. However, it is a good bet that Chris should be wearing glasses while driving, for the sake of those sharing the road with him.

In his [[CLog 10042017 - Q&A NO MORE!!!]] video, Chris's left eye is drooping noticeably, which may imply either an early sign of a stroke or substance abuse. Both of these are plausible due to his [[obesity]] and poor nutrition for the former, and his abuse of [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.|a black-market drug for the latter]].

==Dental health==
{{Main|Fangs}}
[[Image:ChrisCavities.JPG‎|thumb|250px|He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Talk about [[honest content]]!]]

Chris's fondness for bearing his [[fangs]] in moments of [[Chris and anger|tard rage]] has revealed substantial dental work, particularly on his back molars, which look to have had most of their surface drilled and filled to deal with cavities. It seems likely that Chris takes about as much care of his teeth as he does any other part of his body, and that he'll be needing crowns and other painful, [[Chris and money|expensive]] dental surgery some time later in his life, assuming he lives that long.

Although it is difficult to tell (partly due to Chris's [[Chris and cinematography|awful camerawork]]), in the few instances we get to see his teeth, they seem to be a strange yellow-brown color, which is likely the result of large consumption of [[Fanta|carbonated drinks]], poor dental hygiene, and his refusal to visit a professional under the influence of his massive [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]]. He seems to be unwilling to brush his teeth, or even at least chew some [[Brand loyalty|Orbit gum]].
{{clear}}

==Cardiovascular health==
[[File:Soysauce on fries.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris thinks this will help him grow his [[muscle bra|breasts]]. To be fair, [[obesity|he's not wrong]].]]

In August 2013, Chris indicated that the [[Chris and stress|stress]] he's endured has begun to affect his health, citing a symptom of high blood pressure. In 2016, he implied that he has hypertension;<ref>[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis#Likes]]</ref> this was later confirmed in August 2017, when he stated that he takes prescription medicine for it.<ref>[[August 2017 tweets#Chris' prescribed medication]]</ref>

In September 2017, Chris discussed his new method for growing larger breasts, which involves flavoring his food with soy sauce. As an example, he posted a picture of [[McDonald's]] fries doused in soy sauce.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris is fat and stupid]]</ref> It is evident that he has conflated soy-based foods with soy sauce, thinking the latter would be a good way to boost estrogen levels. In reality, the phytoestrogens found in soy products do not bind to the body's estradiol receptors, and thus will have no effect on his manboobs. Conversely, soy sauce is loaded with sodium, and said sodium is actually making him fatter due to weight gain and fluid retention, as well as inflicting further damage to his heart, which is already straining under the effects of hypertension. Although drinking water does help offset the effects of sodium-laden foods, Chris is too busy slurping on Coca-Cola to ever consider adding that to his daily food regime.

In [[January 2019]], Chris uploaded the results of a blood sugar and blood pressure screening. Chris' blood pressure is shown to be 121 over 84, classified as ''pre-high blood pressure''.<ref>http://www.bloodpressureuk.org/BloodPressureandyou/Thebasics/Bloodpressurechart</ref> His blood glucose is 63 mg/dL and his total cholesterol is 140, both of which are healthy levels.<ref>https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/1084128581360513025</ref>

==Excretory health==
Chris has had a long history of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|fecal incontinence]]. One factor likely contributing to this is his diet. His continued [[Julie Reveals Herself|abuse]] of his anus and rectum has not helped.

In July 2017, Chris passed his first [[July 2017 tweets#Kidney_stone|kidney stone]]. Obesity and a high intake of sodium are known risk factors,<ref>https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/kidney-stones/causes</ref> and seeing as how both of these apply to Chris, he can expect to see more [[Wikipedia:Calculus (medicine)|calculi]] in the future unless he changes his ways.

As mentioned in the previous section, Chris has revealed that he is now putting soy sauce on everything that is not sweet. In addition to worsening his renal health, when combined with the laxative effects of his intake of twelve prunes a day (part of the same breast growth formula), this is only likely to result in a higher frequency of [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]].

{{clear}}

==Mental health==
[[Image:Ecp00065.jpg|thumb|Christian Weston Chandler is not a very healthy individual in any sense of the word.]]

[[Chris and psychology|As noted]], Chris has a hostile relationship with psychotherapy, so there is little that can be said about what mental illnesses he has. Because autism isn't nearly enough to explain the full spectrum of his abject psyche, many observers have tried to pin down Chris for a variety of mental illnesses ranging from sociopathy (minus the increase in charisma) to narcissism (ditto), to schizophrenia (signs include his disorganized speech and writing, loss of contact with [[Chris and reality|reality]], and paranoid ideas about being the victim of persecution or "conspiracies" - such as his delusional belief that [[Megan Schroeder]] and [[Michael Snyder]] were somehow responsible for him getting banned from [[Walmart]]).

The one mental failing that debilitates Chris most is his rigid refusal to adapt to his environment. This stubbornness, more than anything else, is what makes him so frustrating to watch—he is incapable of advancing mentally beyond the mind of a ten-year-old with some ''[[Wikipedia:Playboy|Playboy]]'' magazines stuffed under his mattress. Whatever mental problems he may have are only exacerbated by this stubborn inability to mature or even alter his tactics. For over 6 years, he has been led on by various trolls pretending to be [[Sweetheart|young white women]] [[Chris and reality|who are interested in a relationship with him]], and yet he still falls for it time after time. It is Chris's refusal to listen or learn that ensures that he will continue to live in [[Naive|ignorance]], isolation and misery, and until he decides to change, it always will, irrespective of whether his trolls stay interested in him.

It was once thought possible that Chris didn't feel like his life had truly begun, that he was still in the "pre-adult" years — because he remained a [[Virgin with rage|virgin]] into his early 30s, and judging by his [[Autism|oversimplified, black-and-white view of the world]] [[The Adventures of the American Rabbit|tainted]] [[Video games|by]] [[Chris and reality|fiction]] [[Chris and television|and]] [[Chris and brand loyalty|media messages]], [[women's rights|treatment of women]] and [[Chris and sex|stunted understanding of sexual relationships]], because he saw sex not as a biological or recreational function, or an expression of love, but rather as a rite of passage, of sorts, and he therefore believed that he wasn't able to truly be an adult until he had sex. Chris later would [[Mia Hamm|lose his virginity for real]], albeit to a hooker; as of yet, he has made few to no changes that will tangibly improve his life. In fact, he has been plunging himself and his mother even further into debt to buy toys, of all things, as well as a new car. Needless to say, no one expects Chris and Barb to be able to afford to keep the car for long.

Since Chris has been pampered and sheltered from basically all forms of outside influence, he lacks experience with the real world. His reaction to the real world can best be seen in his reactions to trolls; instead of dealing with them in a constructive way (taking their advice) or even a neutral way (either ignoring them or getting off the internet), he will freak out, yell at things, blame his autism or the trolls themselves for his shortcomings, and maybe crush a [[sex toys|dildo]] or his [[PSEye|camera]].

He also has a peculiar notion that he is slim, broad-shouldered and tan, and that he has a full head of [[hair]] and is generally not creepy. This image comes from two things:

* His mother would always [[Barbara#Pampering_of_Chris|tell him how "handsome" he was]]. This might simply be [[Barbara]] telling her son what all mothers tell their kids.
* He has an [[Wikipedia:Prosopagnosia|inability to remember faces]]. For example, during the [[Blanca]] incidents, trolls used pictures of two different girls to represent Blanca and he never suspected a thing; he thinks that he and [[BILLY MAYS]] would have looked the same if BILLY shaved off his beard. In [[Manchester High School|high school]], he had to remember his own appearance by staring in the mirror, leaving his more youthful image of himself branded in his mind.<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 ''Sonichu'' #7, page 24]</ref> The fact that the only distinguishing features of his cartoon characters are hair and eye color also point to this, although this may just be Chris being a [[Chris and art|shitty artist]].

Some people think that, far from being mentally ill, Chris is just misguided and simply needs to be steered in the right direction. [[White knight|However...]]

In the July 2012 [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went|arraignment]] for his and Barbara's actions at the GAMe PLACe [[28_October_2011|the previous fall]], Chris agreed to a plea bargain, avoiding felony charges and jail time in exchange for, among other things, "mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation," which meant that Chris was forced to undergo legitimate psychiatric treatment (as opposed to simply seeing [[Rocky_Shoemaker|an un-certified pastoral "counselor"]]), or risk being imprisoned. Given that most, if not all of the problems described above persist in some form or another to this day, it seems that Chris reacted to psychiatric treatment in much the same way he reacted to the education system, as it seems that, whatever his psychiatrist said, he took none of it in, probably taking out his [[Ego|anger at being forced to obey the law]] on the psychiatrist by simply refusing to co-operate.

Chris began listening to [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] videos on YouTube in 2016. On 29 June, he uploaded [[Announcement 06292016|Announcement 06292016-2]], in which he claimed that the music cured his autism:

{{quotebox|Hey [[fans]], I forgot one thing to mention. I have- I've actually been on a- subliminal project, as a lot of you- or some of you- might have been... aware of, through my history or whatever... That I try to keep private amongst my YouTube settings.

But I have been enjoying for the past 3 months the "Get Rid of Autism" subliminal. [[Naive|The one that actually works]] in three months so less than [''stutters''] three times per day. 36 times.

I have been doin' that I've actually found myself more mentally capable. I don't- I do not blank out as much, I feel a little bit [[Slow-in-the-minds|faster]] in mental processing... Aaand I feel a whole lot better so with that [''puts out hands''] I'm essentially [[Autism#Autism cured?|cured of autism]]. Oh and also I actually have been able to socialize better out in public, so that's another good deal right there.

I'm gonna put the link underneath this video... And those of y'all with autism... Try for yourself. Three- play it three times, per day... for three months. [''Points to head''] It worked for me. [''Thumbs up'']}}

However, in a November Facebook post, he was back to referring to himself as a "high-functioning autistic person."<ref>[[November 2016 Facebook posts#Hate and fear of Trump and Pence]]</ref>

Chris mentioned in August 2017 that he takes Valium, a drug used to treat [[stress|anxiety and nervousness]].<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2017_tweets#On_wearing_the_unicorn_cosplay_to_church</ref>

{{quote|I took a rest and some valium after I got back home. I feel some recovered, but feel some mild headache now.|Chris, on taking the drug after feeling stress from being told not to wear his [[unicorn cosplay]] at church.}}

==Sexual health==
Bent at a horrifying 45° angle, Chris's [[duck]] is a thing of almost unholy terror. While there has been much speculation as to the cause of this (possibly [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease Peyronie's disease] or the result of engaging in dangerous prone masturbation), it is ultimately a mystery that will probably never be solved. While correctable, the process is expensive, and Chris has other, [[Video games|more]] [[Toys|important]] [[Sex toys|things]] on which to spend his (or rather, [[Monthly tugboat|taxpayers']]) money.

In correspondence with [[Jackie]], Chris revealed he was checked for STDs in early [[2010]].<ref>[[Jackie e-mails]]</ref> He didn't have any; [[Virgin with rage|you can probably guess why]].

==Gender transitioning==
{{see also|Tomgirl}}
===Hormone treatment===
[[File:Like budderin bread - credit to Buck Mullet.gif|thumb|Chris believes this is an appropriate form of hormone therapy.]]
Normally, transgender people plan out their gender transitions with doctors to ensure safety throughout the process, especially if they are taking hormones (which can cause health issues unless strictly monitored according to the patient's health profile).

Unfortunately, Chris has done the opposite. In 2015, he acquired '''Oestrogel''', a hormone replacement therapy cream meant for [[Barbara Chandler|post-menopausal women]]. It is meant to be prescription-only, but Chris got around the requirement to see a doctor by ordering it through Offshore Pharmacy.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Oestrogel has health risks, such as fluid retention, weight changes, rise in blood pressure (disastrous for an obese person like Chris) and blood clots,<ref name=healthrisks>[http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-89430/estrogel-transdermal/details/list-sideeffects Common and Rare Side Effects for Estrogel transdermal]. WebMD</ref> and that is when it is applied properly via a small dosage on the arm once per day. He even managed to fail at following the directions on the package, as shown in [[Oestrogel application and Vibrating Bra, How To.]], in which he slathers the cream onto his stomach "like buttering bread".

[[Kim Wilson]] revealed that he was taking the hormones in May 2015,<ref>[[May 2015 Facebook posts]]</ref> and Chris mentioned the drug again as late as August 2016.<ref>https://sonichu.com/cwcki/August_2016_Facebook_posts#House_Cleaning</ref> Throughout 2015-2016, he repeatedly complained, via Facebook posts, of feeling dizzy and ill, but has failed to connect the dots and see that taking over-dosages of a black-market drug without a physician's approval could be a reason for it.

In addition to Oestrogel, Chris has been taking supplements such as vitamins. He purchased a jar of Solaray Female Hormone Blend Vitamins in August 2016,<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/8-10-chris-bought-female-hormone-vitamins.23257/</ref> which is meant to ease menopausal symptoms. [[Arthur Spatchcock]] also learned that, around [[May 2016]], Chris was fond of eating Fenugreek seeds because he believed it would increase his estrogen levels (being unaware that it would have no effect on him, since he is not on estrogen).<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/random-thoughts-questions.661/page-562#post-1475700</ref>

At some point in fall 2016, he finally went to a medical professional and was prescribed proper HRT.<ref>[[September 2017 tweets#Chris insists he's on HRT]]</ref>

===Un-clit===
One day in September 2014, Chris decided to get [[Un-clit|a piercing on his perineum]]. Piercings require constant disinfection while they heal, anywhere on the body, even for very clean people, and so many trolls were concerned that considering Chris's general filthiness and the fact that the location of the piercing would receive very little air, there was a serious risk of infection. In December, he shared another picture of this piercing which showed that, while it wasn't infected, the piercing had begun to reject (''tearing the skin'' in the process). Making lemonade out of lemons, Chris (now in the throes of his transwoman fantasy) noted with pride the tear's semblance to a [[China|vagina]] and actually got it re-pierced, without giving the original wound any longer than about a week to heal. Fortunately, Chris gave up on it after it became clear that the piercing was going to be more hassle than it was worth, and removed it for good before any serious harm was done.

===Self-inflicted taint wound===
{{main|Self-inflicted taint wound}}

In [[July 2016]], Chris posted about a wound on his taint, announcing that he had gotten it as a result of [[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]] and would be growing new labia as a result. However, as the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] later discovered, Chris actually went ahead and '''sliced himself open with a knife in order to free the vagina he thought was growing within him.'''

{{quoteboxgreen|So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/fb-12-21-chris-reminiscences-about-moving-back-into-14bc-after-the-fire.26774/page-7#post-1962817</ref>}}

===Rejected by a blood bank===
In January 2017, Chris complained on Facebook that he had been turned away from a blood drive for being transgender.<ref>[[January 2017 Facebook Posts]]</ref> He stated that the given reason was "the FDA saw to not accept blood from Transgender people, due to the varying levels of testosterone/estrogen balances in our blood." Chris does not realize how medically sensitive patients will be when receiving blood transfusions, and that it would not be in their interests to be taking blood with hormonal imbalances, especially from Chris, whose blood has been affected by both his unhealthy lifestyle and the dangerous intake of the unsupervised Oestrogel drug.

==Other deformities==
[[Image:Eye.jpg|thumb|"My left eye is blue, and my right eye is brown-my right is green."<ref>[[CWC Update 13 August 2009]]</ref>]]
Chris also has mild [[heterochromia]], which he claims is the result of pinkeye medicine that he took in high school. However, in a photo of a young Chris, his right eye is green.<ref>[[:Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg]]</ref> He probably tells this story so people think he's [[Autism|special]].

His voice is also a very [[speech Impediment|severe deformity]], ranging in pitch from normal to the sound of a three-year old girl on helium all the way to [[Wikipedia:Gilbert Gottfried|Gilbert Gottfried]]. It has been medically proven that one of the effects of [[Asperger's syndrome]] is a lack of variation in speech such as tone, pitch and accent. It can also work backwards, which could explain Chris's far from normal voice: autistics often have difficulty distinguishing voice tone. In his [[Song of Christian]] video, his voice sounds almost entirely normal and even deeper than later years, except for the occasional times where he recalls [[Wikipedia:List_of_Conker_characters#Conker_the_Squirrel|Conker]] of ''[[Wikipedia:Conker's Bad Fur Day|Conker's Bad Fur Day]]''. However, this voice deformity most likely comes from the fact he has little to no human interaction; such isolation has been proven to change a person's perception of pitch, especially if they're autistic. Chances are likely this has become permanent for Chris, given his decades of isolation.

[[/cwc/|Some]] have pointed out that Chris has an unusually wide [[wikipedia:Nasal septum|septum]], as seen in his [[MySpace]] picture.<ref>[[:File:Myspace.jpg]]</ref> Others go as far as to say he lacks one altogether. The cause of this, like his bent [[duck]], is as yet unknown.

==See also==
*[[Autism]]
*[[Hair]]
*[[Obesity]]
*[[Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis]]

== Sources ==
<references/>
{{Chris and}}

JK Productions

2015-06-11T05:49:09Z

Mick92:

[[Image:JKReginald.png|thumb|200px|Reginald the anteel, in all his bizarre glory.]]

In August of [[2008]], [[Chris]] excitedly endorsed a new blog that was supposedly the official journal of '''JK Productions''', a company claiming to be developing ''[[Sonichu]]: The Game''. Juxtaposing 'screenshots' of absurdly basic in-game features with artwork that was far superior to the [[Sonichu (comic)|source material]] and annotated by a hyper commentary, the blog was nonetheless shrewd enough to convince some (not least Chris) of its authenticity.

That was until September, when, on the basis of an alleged cease-and-desist order from [[Nintendo]] and Sega, [[pickle]]-happy pictures of character redesigns were premiered. Sonichu was replaced by 'Reginald' (also the name of Chris's [[Reginald Chandler|imaginary son]]), an upper class anteater/eel hybrid. Rosechu was similarly replaced by an 'anteel' - specifically, a Village People inspired, boner-sporting anteel. Finally, Chris-Chan himself was replaced by a [[Tomgirl|sassy, female reimagining]] which he no doubt [[mass debating|fapped over]].

Shortly thereafter, JK Productions claimed to have broken ties with Chris altogether, in disgusted protest at the [[Sonichu 8|Spring Break Issue]];

[[Image:ChrissyChan.png|thumb|left|130px|]]

{{quote|He certainly has a point that we should encourage women's rights...to bear arms! It is advisable to keep this man a great distance from the nearest vagina.Do not be so down, for there is some good news too. You see, JKProductions has acquired the trademark for Sonichu, making him our official property! Christian Weston Chandler's "Sonichu" comics, should henceforth be recognized as an, *ahem*, poorly done fan-comic (laughs.)|JK Productions, being lulzy.}}

Chris was left to sheepishly admit to being trolled and return to harassing Nintendo executives.

==History==
[[Image:JKRosechu.png|thumb|left|150px|UFOOOOO~!!! IT'S HARDOGAAAAY~!!!]]

On [[2008#August|17 August 2008]], Chris updated his website that was previously dead for a year with a new entry echoing the demands of his latest video, in which he calls for all the Sonichu fans to storm Nintendo and Sega with requests that his character be given official merchandise. He also promises the finale to this season of Sonichu within 6 months, and a new series starting next year.

Normally this may seem a trivial update in the adventures of CWC. However, with this post he released a new blog dedicated to Sonichu: The Game (at http://sonichugame.blogspot.com, now deleted and not archived) made up of mostly "fan art", with a few of his own pictures accompanying updates to the game's progression.

[[Image:Jk controller.png|thumb|"Chris Spent over 9,000 hours in ms paint to provide us this diagram of a ps3 controller."{{cite}} ... "image courtesy of Christian Weston Chandler. Behold! The home entertainment controller, perfected."]]

On [[2008#September|5 September 2008]], '''the official Sonichu game blog''' revealed what many people had suspected: that it was the work of an elaborate troll. In a post claiming that SEGA and Nintendo had slapped 'production' with a cease and desist order, the resident blogger offered his redesigns of [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; an [[Reginald|upper class]] and a Hardgay impersonating anteater/eel hybrid respectively. That Chris would condone such radical alterations of his 100% totally original characters is enough to raise eyebrows, but a more-than-fleeting inspection of 'Reginald' - Sonichu's reimagining - shows that he is armed with that appendage Chris dreads most, i.e. a [[pickle]]. Oh, and Rosechu's equivalent has a beard and a boner, I suppose that's worth mentioning as well. A follow-up post was submitted on 6 September 2008, featuring a redesign of the big CWC himself. Chris is convinced that JKProductions was not a troll and continued to endorse their blog as the 'Official CWC Approved Sonichu Video Game Blog' on both his website and [[YouTube]] account until the demise of the former. He has never had the faintest idea as to what [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jk "JK" stood for.]

== Game art ==

<gallery>
Image:Hurrr1 color.jpg|"Here are some masterful drawings by our very own Artist and CSIII practitioner: Mike Sandy" ... "Sonichu, having beaten the snot out of a Jerkop, strikes a cool pose.."
Image:Japchu.jpg|"The conceptual profile of Sonichu. These are subject to alterations."
Image:Hurrr2 color.jpg|"Sonichu in the act of kicking a jerkop square in the face! Ouch."
Image:Hurrr4 color.jpg|"Sonichu is just too extreme for this angry jerkop."
Image:Hurrr3 color2.jpg|"Could this be? Sonichu is really zapping to the extreme!"
Image:Jerkhieg.png|"Of course, the Sonichu game will feature bosses of many shapes and sizes. Allow me to introduce you to one of them." ... "This is the [[Jerkhief|jerkop]], he is quite large, no? He dislikes virgins, as well as Sonichu. He will attack them both on sight."
Image:Sonichugameee.png|"Ah, very large indeed. He is very lazy too! Instead of fighting, he sends his [[jerkop]] minions to do his dirty work."
Image:Jerkops.png|"Look out! The poor jerkhief is much to large to move on his own! Should you wear him down..."
Image:Ohgod.png|"Oh my... H-he really knows how to get around!"
Image:Title screen.png|"Most games for the PC feature title screens, and sonichu is no exception to this..."
</gallery>

[[Category:Not TRUE and ORIGINAL]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Sonichu 1 Official Videobook

2015-01-21T06:58:53Z

Mick92: /* Transcript */

{{CWCipedia|chris=Sonichu Book 1 Videobooks|linkname=Sonichu Book 1 Videobooks}}
[[Image:issueone.jpg|right|thumb|300px|''Sonichu 1'']]

'''''Sonichu 1'' Official Videobook''' is a series of videos made by [[Chris]], in which he reads and comments on ''[[Sonichu 1]]''. He started uploading these videos on 11 [[September 2009]].

*In Episode 4, the genesis of Black Sonichu! I mean, Blachu! I mean, [[Black Sonichu|BLAKE]]!!
*In Episode 5, Black Sonichu [[sex|kidnaps]] Rosechu! And Chris rants about Autism awareness and how
{{quote|ASPERGER'S IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!}}
*In Episode 6, it's POW! BAM! STRAIGHT TO THE MOON! for [[Metal Sonichu]]!
*In Sub-Episode 2, Chris gets trolled at the mall!
{{quote|NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!}}

==Episode 4==

{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 4: Darkness, Speed & Lightning!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|u4eLJQwKjrA}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2009]]
| Episode = [[Episode 4|4]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Giovanni]], [[Bill the Scientist]], [[Black Sonichu]] and [[Robotnik]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_0_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 1|Sub-Episode 1]]
| next = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Episode 5|Episode 5]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Welcome back. Here's the next installment of the official comi- of the official audio-video book series. Book Number 1. Once again, all Sonichu material is copyrighted on March 17, 2000 by me, Christian Weston Chandler, any names or persons illustrated in the Sonichu comics except for my- of myself that may seemilar- similar to anyone in real life, or fiction, are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic. In this case, some of it parodic. So anyway, Book Number 1.

Sonic is standing by Sonichu, and Sonic says, "Is that supposed to be your clone?"

:"Unfortunately, Sonic, yes!"

:"Chemical 'X'"?

:"No, cherry cola! What's wrong with you, this is the- this is not the Powerpuff Girls!"

====Episode 4: Introducing Black Sonichu in "Darkness, Speed, and Lightning!"====
...with an accidental dose of Cherry Cola!

Over in, uh- the, uh- hhhh- the hou- in the house of Naitsirhc and his adoptive father Giovanni, Giovanni talks to Naitsirhc, and Giovanni says, "Naitsirhc! Even though you have lost your battle with that hedgehog Sonichu, I am proud that you were able to obtain a sample of hi- of his DNA. I then located the base of Dr. Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik, and needless to say after I showed him the photo of that Pokemon, he was astounded! And we shook in agreement of Dr. Robotnik recr- reconstructing the DNA machine that was found on New Island. Soon, we will have a 'Sonichu' of our own, to send out and defeat the original. Naitsirhc, our victory is assured! Or I am not Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket! Heheheheheh!"

Meanwhile, in the underground lab, the, uh, scientists are putting toge- putting it all together. We've got Sonichu's DNA next to a can of cherry cola. Mmhh. Anyway, we've got the scientist working on it, uh, and then another scientist says, "Hey Bill! Bring me a DNA- bring the DNA sample to the machine!"

:"Ok! Oops!"

He hits the sam- he hits- he hits the can of cherry cola, it spills into the uh, DNA.

:"Uh oh! Oh well!"

Then he puts the sample in the thing, and then he takes it to the machine, then he puts it ''in'' the machine. Then the machi- then the machine initiates.

:"Analyzing data. Adding inputed data. Pokemon identified. Beginning cloning sequence."

[''BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB'']

:"Hmm... Maybe it's the liquid, but this Sonichu looks [[Niggos|black]] to me!"

:"[''robot voice''] Attention! Attention! This is an audio record addressed only to the Sonichu in the tank. You are a Sonichu. You obey only Giovanni and his son Naitsirhc."

:Mmmmm... Sonichu... Naitsirhc...

:"You are dark, evil and very powerful. When awakened, you will ssseek and fight your original counterpart."

:Mmmm... Powerful... Counterpart? What information are these fools trying to brainwash into me? Eyeah, I'll do whatever I please! But I'll play along.

So now everybody's standing around the capsule with the hedgehog in it, and Giovanni says, "Well, Robotnik. Here's the result of our- of your skills and our genius! What is your opinion?"

:"He reminds me of another creature I released years ago! But I'm sure this 'Sonichu' is much stronger!"

:"Boss! I'm reading the brainwaves. Of the Pokemon. And they're racing!"

:"Well then, let's release him!"

:"I agree! Let's drain the fluid and raise the tube!"

:"Yessir!"

:"Eh, I'm not sure, but he looks black to me! Oh well, he'll still shock that hedgehog!"

[''BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BLUBLUBLUBLUB PSHEWWWWWW'']

:"Wow, he is black! Well, I'll just call him Black Sonichu."

:"That's fine with me! But let's just shorten that to Blachu, deal?"

:"Huh? Uh, ok, yeah, sure, deal. I am Naitsirhc, your master. This is my fa- uh, my father Giovanni. Do not cross him. And that's Dr. Robotnik."

:"Eh, my pleasure to make your acquaintance, Black Sonichu."

:"Mine as well! Please accept these rocket boosters as your first birthday present! Hahahaha!"

And so Black Sonichu gets his rocket boosters, they increase his speed. Anyway, Naitsirhc approaches Blac- Black Sonichu and puts his hand across his shoulder and he says, "Come, Blachu, and we will brief you on your mission, birth and training."

Then three hours later in a briefing room...

"Lights on! So Blachu, if you have any questions please ask them now," says Giovanni.

"Yes sir!" res- replies Black Sonichu. "If I was cloned from Sonichu's DNA, shouldn't that make him my father? And also, why am I black and not yellow?"

Giovanni replies, "Astounding questions, Blachu! And with all due respect, I would not refer to Sonichu as your father, more as your brother, but do not ever look up to him. And as my scientist Bill reported, he spilled some cherry cola onto your DNA strands. The black and red chemicals must have overridden the brown and yellow pigment. Any other questions?"

Robonik comes in and he s- and he er- and he says, "Giovanni! I searched on the internet and found data on Sonichu from the Pokemon database!"

:"Well, let's see it! Hmmm, I'm reading over the papers, hmmm..."

:"Apparently it was reported to Professor Oak by a trainer named Kelr- [[Kel]]."

:"Excellent, Robotnik! Now we can compare these statistics with Black Sonichu's, and make him much stronger den- and faster. What's this on the other page?"

:"Oh! That'd be Rosechu! Also an electric hedgehog Pokemon. I also learned that she is Sonichu's girlfriend."

:"ALL SO PERFECT! Now we have the plan to lure Sonichu into our trap! After training our Black Sonichu, he will kidnap Rosechu! Haha, good work! Now make a machine to drain Sonichu's bowe- power, Robotnik!"

:"Yes, sir! Hahahahaha!"

Training days! [''montage music''] Dun dun dun dun dun dun dahhhh!

Speed test: Go! [''SHHW!''] Uh oh! Shoot, you got my clothes! And I cut hhh- cut myself with this tree! That swipped over with this high speed... [''Chris giggles'']

Strength Tench: [''PSHH!''] Breaks the brick wall. Destroy 20 tons.

Spin-dash test: Result: 200 rotations in a minute.

Target Practice: [''PSHW-PING! PSHW-PING! PSHW-PING!''] Result: 99.5% accurate.

And the result of the speed test was 200 kilometers an hour. The scientist comes in later and uh, give- r- reports to Giovanni and Robotnik.

:"Here the recorts- the reports you requested, sir!"

"Excellent!" says Giovanni. And in comparison, both of them have equal special attack, special defense, hit points and speed. But Sonic- but Black Sonichu has one attack point stronger over Sonichu, and Sonichu has stronger- has one defense stronger than Black Sonichu. "Well, they seem similar, but Black Sonichu has greater strength."

:"Yes! It looks like he's ready for the mission."

:"I agree!"

[''PSHH!''] Over lowvers- over the loudspeaker, "Attention Black Sonichu, please report to my office immediately, it's time for your mission," says Giovanni.

Then Black Sonichu thinks to himself, [''sigh''] I guess my training is complete. It's time to en- prepare to encounter my brother Sonichu.

To be continued in the next video!

==Episode 5==

{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 5: Informal Meeting
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vWxJKqADPBM}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2009]]
| Episode = [[Episode 5|5]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Black Sonichu]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Episode 4|Episode 4]]
| next = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Episode 6|Episode 6]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

====Episode 5: Sonichu in "The Informal Meeting"====

Our first page is, uh, basically a layout map of where everything is in relation at this point, until fur- until later notice and updates, where Kel's house is located next to CWCville, and Station Square where Sonic and friends reside, even Pallet Town which is located close to Giovanni's gym base, followed by the [[zapbud]] fields, but we zoom in back to Giovanni's base.

Naitsirhc Blake are, uh, talking, and he sa- and he t-says t-to Blake, look- looking at that same map, "I've sent my Zapdos to locate Sonichu and Rosechu. They are now located in the zapbud fields. They will have to return to Kel's house, here. Your mission is to intercept them, kidnap Rosechu, and bring her here. Sonichu will come for her, and when he does, we'll have a surprise for him. Hehahehaha!

Meanwhile, in the zapbud fields, Sonichu and Rosechu are spen- are sharing a tender, loving moment.

:"Ah, this is nice. The zapbuds, the sky, the clouds, and you, Sonichu!"

:"Yes! I couldn't enjoy this without you- without you either, Rosey!"

:"Aww..." [''kissy sounds'']

As Rosechu kisses Sonichu, then she ki- then he kisses her back and then she says, "You're so sweet! You're s... so sweet..."

And he says, "I try!"

[''singing''] Da da da da da da da, her cellphone rings~ Da da da da da da da!

:"Excuse me! Hello? Oh, Kel? Uh? Okay, we'll be home soon, bye now! Mmm, that was Kel, it's almost dinner time!"

:"Oh. That's okay, I was feeling hungry anyway. Shall I escort you back to your chateau, my lady?"

:"Of course mys- of course you may, my sweetbolt!"

:"As you wish, my heartsweet!"

[''PSHH!''] So they make their dash. To the house.

Meanwhile at the intersection between the uh- where, uh- somewhere between Sonic's house and the sh- and, uh, Station Square, he's on his way home but he's thinkin' like you know, he's forget- he's at the moment of confused and forget which way to go, and he's like, oh, wait, no, I'm sorry, he says here, "Hmm, I don't want to go home yeeet; I think I'll go check out what's that way."

And then so- it's like- and then he's uppa- pretty much on the approach to intercept Sonichu and Rosechu as well, whiles- while Blake awaits in the bush.

:"Eh, these branches hurt! Well, Sonichu's in my sight. I also see something blue coming as well. What a mess this will make! AHHAHAHAHA. Jeez, this is intense! I need a countdown! Okay, 5,4,3,2, ah, screw it!"

[''PSHHW!''] He's- he's- he's- right by Sonichu and snags Rosechu offa- off of his arms.

:"Hehehehe!"

And she doesn't even know yet, she has her eyes closed to keep the dust out. And Sonic and Sonichu are about- are without- are without realizing it, they crash right int- without seeing each other they crash right into each other [''BOOM PFT PFT PFT!'']

:"Oww, that hurt!"

:"Mmmm, telling me! Uh...."

She made like a cat and kept her, uh, right arm over her eyes so that she made sure to keep the dust out.

:"Good thing I made like a cat to get that dust out of my eyes... Huh?" [''GASP'']

She looks up and notices that it's not Sonichu that's her carrier!

:"YOU'RE NOT MY SWEET BOLT SONICHU!"

:"No, I'm not! Eheheheheheha!"

:"Let me go, you creep!"

:"NO! HEHEHAHAHA! We're off to see my masters, Giovanni and Naitsirhc!"

:"SONICHU! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

Meanwhile, the two hedgehogs are still in a daze over the crash.

:"You should have watched where you were going!"

:"Speak for yourself! You could have easily seen a blue blur coming your way!"

[''together'']"Hey, wait a minute!"

Oop! And then they have an instant memory of where they seen each other back-a like-a back in- in Episode 1.

[''together'']"YOU'RE THAT HEDGEHOG!" they both say simultaneously. And then we have this-is dialogue, here.

:"You're the S- you're Sonic the Hedgehog, aren't you?"

:"Yeah! So what's your name?"

:"Sonichu! I was originally a Pikachu until I- until you ran into me with your- with your power!"

:"Oh yeah, I remember zooming into a poor thing, poor animal! I didn't think it was a Pokemon! I apologize!"

:"I accept your apology."

:"I was also powered up with the Seven Chaos Emeralds, their power must have caused your transformation!"

:"I see. [[Random Access Humor|It's funny how we into- ran into each other like this]]!"

:"Yeah."

:"I was on my way home with my hair- heartsweet Rosechu. Where is she? Aw, man!"

:"She's gone? She's gone missing? Wait, do you see those?"

And they look down and they notice footprints.

:"Yeah, footprints! Uhh! Ouch!"

He puts his finger on one and it's like- it really- it's hot.

:"Ow! They're on fire! Rosey was kidnapped!"

:"Well, let's follow them! I'll help you."

Sonichu, "Thank you! Let's go find Rosechu!"

:"Yeah!"

To be continued in the next episode.

Also this little portion of the page is dedicated to [[autism]] awareness where you can get more information on autism, which is NOT- which is NOTHING LIKE ASPERGER'S. [[Chris and reality|ASPERGER'S IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.]] Anyway- anyway, for information on autism, you go to austim.org. As I- as I am high functionally autistic myself, and ev- and I and myself and all of my Sonichu and Rosechu everybody, we are in full support of autism awareness and finding the cure. And then also the advertisement to the original Sonichu site, the address as it was back then, but at this time it is currently also known as [[CWCipedia]], which the address would be alongside this thing in the text with this video. Anyway, to be continued in the next video.

==Episode 6==

{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Episode 6: Black Metal Combat
| video = {{#ev:youtube|2UwsQuc-Cew}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2009]]
| Episode = [[Episode 6|6]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Sonichu]], [[Sonic]], [[Robotnik]], [[Amy Rose]], [[Metal Sonichu]], [[Naitsirhc]], [[Rosechu]], and [[Black Sonichu]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Episode 5|Episode 5]]
| next = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Sub-Episode 2|Sub-Episode 2]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

The [[Speech Impediment|starling]] conclusion of this three-part episode:

====Episode 6: Black Meadow Combat.====

We're back at [[Giovanni]]'s base, where splack where [[Blake|Black Sonichu]] has sussessfully put [[Rosechu]] in their cell, and now they wait.

:"A- aa...darn it! These bars are rubber-coated! Oh when Sonichu gets here, he'll give you all a real shock!"

Hmm. ad then- oland then a little bit a distance away, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|Naitsirhc]] is talking to [[Doctor Robotnik|Robotnik]].

:"So Robotnik, let's go over- once more. What'll happen when Sonichu comes to rescue his girlfriend? Heheheh."

:"All right, Naitsirhc. Hahahahah. Well first, Black Sonichu will issue a challenge with Sonichu. Then during the battle, Blachu will lead Sonichu towards the X on the f- the X on the floor. Then I'll press this button which'll launch down- launch the dome, and trap him in, and then I'll activate the [[Stress|energy drain]], which will reduce Sonichu to a [[Power|weakling]] in mere seconds. After that, [[Sex#Chris_and_rape|you and your friend can do whatever you want to him]]. Recharge him, mi- mind control, [[Julie|string him along]], heheh. Why should I care? Because [''begin musical number''] IIIIIIIIIIIIII'm Robotnik, Robotnik, I'm a mad geinus! Robotnik, Robotnik, I creayse chaos with my machiiiiiiiines! I'm the dorkest evil, and I mean I have a monkey and and a meeeean! I have a monkey in my robot! Wait, the monkey is a robot! I turned the animal into a robot with a process I call Robotization!"

[''faking mirth for the first time''] Hahahahaha! Oh, com-director commentary! Oh, that is so lame! I idolize Sonic, I hate Eggman! [''continues laughing''], Oh I'm sorry, but that has to be [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|the stupidest drawn thing]] I've drawn in my life! [''laughs more'']

[''serious business''] Continue on with the story.

Meanwhile, Sonichu and [[Sonic The Hedgehog|Sonic]] are closing in on Giovanni's base.

:"Rosey! I'm COMING!"

:"We must be close, I see a building ahead."

[''PSSS''] And they stop right in front of it.

:"Sonichu, stop!"

:"What's up, Sonic"

:"I'm smell [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|trouble]]."

He bends down and picks up the thing on the ground. It's a medal with Eggman's face on it.

:"This da face of my nemesis, Dr. Eggman Robotnik. Hm. You lead on, Sonichu. I'll back you up if there's a trap."

:"Okay."

And so they enter. "Naitsirhc! Release Rosey now!" Sonichu a-says, as the-ed-edder enters.

:"I knew you'd come for me, Sweet-boat."

Hm. [''pause''] Is that his? And then [''wrong''] Sonichu thinks, "I know Eggman will have a grand trap in store. I'll get Sonichu out if needed. Oh is that his Rosechu? She looks lock-a-light [[Amy Rose|Amy]]. Boy if those two [[Homos|mate]]- if those two girls MEET, that is huh."

And Naitsirhc says, "Ah, Sonichu. How good it is to see that you- how good it is to see you again. Allow me introduced my father, Giovanni, and our 'sociate Dr. Robotnik."

:[''together''] "Hello! HAHAHAHA!"

:"I am pleased to say that we do have your [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]] captive in our facilities. But t-to my dismay, it was not I who kidnapped your girlfriend, but allow me to present the true culprit and your clone."

:"My clone?"

:"[[Niggos|BLACK]] SONICHU."

:"Just call me Blachu. AND NOW WE MUST [[Soul Calibur|FIGHT!]]" [''PSSH''] "Mach Punch."

:"Oh, sneak attack, huh? Here's my counter, Spin Dash! [''PSSH'']

:"Uhh... Er not bad. Now's time for me to dish it out. Thunderbolt!" [''PFF''] Misses Sonichu. "Heheheheh."

:"Megaaaa-kick!" Hits Black Sonichu on the head! "Eh-heh! Getting tired Blachu? I'm just getting warned up."

:"Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-HO! He's standing on the X." [''BOOP! PSHH!''] "I wouldn't waste my energy, Sonichu. [''PLINGPINGPING''] "That's tempered glass. You won't be able to shatter it or sonic- or shock it. Heheheh."

:"Sonichu, no!"

:"Why you! When I get outta here, I'll..."

:"And now, I'll press the button that'll sap your strength and energy."

:"Not if I have a say in it, Robotnik!"

:"Wha?"

[''WH-PEW!''] Breaks the remote control. Sonic does.

:"[[Excel-Saga|NOOOOOO!]] What? You?"

:"Hehehe. [[Bugs_Bunny#Bugs_Bunny|Ehh, you expecting maybe Bugs Bunny?]] Hehehe. Let Sonichu and Rosechu go, and I may go easy on you, Eggman."

:"That's Dr. Robotnik to you, Ssonic the Hedgehog! Hah. I had something else planned for that Pokémon's escape. Heh. Now I'll send it against you, pesky hedgehog, haha. Go, my [[Metal Sonichu]]!"

[''singing ominously'']

And then emerges the Metal Sonichu, then Sonichu con-lookt-come-up-com-commentates, "Hey, he dudn't look a thing like me!"

"Boy, Eggman, Sonic says. "You sure [[Chris and art|lack imagination]]. Compared to Metal Sonic."

:"Metal Sonichu, ATTACK!"

Shoots thunderboats! [''PSHPSHPSHPSH!''] Sonic dashes and he misses.

:"Hah! Mmm... Heh." [''PSHH''] "Heh. C'mon, is that the best you got?"

And then they're chasing each other, Metal Sonichu is chasing Sonic all over the creation. Sonichu's b-and then Sonichu tries to go attack it but then he spin dashes away. And then hen-and-then heads toward the uh dome. Warning Sonichu first to stay out of the way, and he says, "Come and get it. Come and get me. Met-A-Mon."

Sonichu says Soni-me sangs Sonic. And then Metal Sonichu [''PSHHW!''] crashes right through the dome. And then Sonichu gets out and he sa- and he tells Sonic, "Sonic, spin dash towards me between my hands!"

He's gathering up an energy ball of lightning between his hands. So Son- so [[Gay 4 Sonichu|Sonic spindashes into between Sonichu's hands as Sonichu holds them like a ball]] and then he initiates a lock-on with the ready, aim, and then he fires a Zap Cannon attack using Sonic as the ball. And then Sonichu dashes towards Rosechu hesaidhesay, "Gotta save Rosey."

And as Sonic real- and as Sonic'll-uh-go-uh-launches flyings towards Metal Sonichu so- Metal Sonichu realizes he can't do much so he goes to a Defense Curl and then Sonic collides with the Metal Sonichu, goes around the building, flow- goes ri-up to a cliff and he lauches up the ki-lips-it off the cliff like a Spin Dash and he d-he flies up [[Tobacky|TO THE MOON]]!

Meanwhile, back at the lab...

:"S-Rosey, stay back!"

[''ZRPP-PSH''] Cuts the bars.

:"I'm free! Thank you Sweet-Bolt."

Yay.

And then our three main villains here are sh-in shock, and in awe. They're speechless, and then Sonic says, "Well, Eggman, it looks like you are licked again. And shocked too."

:"Heh. Y'all should've learned never to mess with true l-with [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack|true Poké-love]]. Rosey? Let's bolt."

:"Oh. Just a moment. Oh, Black Sonichu?"

And he's in a daze after the battle, he's tired, he's like, "Mmm?"

And then she says, "THIS IS FOR KIDNAPPING ME!"

And she just lands the punch around day-or-ponch on his face and knocks a couple of his [[Fangs|teeth]] out. Then meanwhile on the moon, we see an open crater with dats been cr-made. And there are couple a EYES lighting out of it. S-Metal Sonichu may make a comeback later. DUN DUN DUUUUN!

An' then a couple a days later, at the [[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville Mall]] at the edge of [[CWCville]], [[Women's rights|Amy and Rosey are shopping]], and they're about to meet each other. They dote have at meet each other yet.

:"Sonic's gonna really notice me in this new outfit!"

:"Sonichu will want to snuggle me after watching this DVD. Heh."

:"One day Sonic and I'll be [[Wedding Comic|married]]!"

:"Oh it's so cool that [[Homos|he enjoys romantic comedies too]]. Heh."

And then, [''together''] "Eh? Oh."

W- an' then they're thinkin', "Wow. That girl looks like me. Cute outfit, though. Heh." And then Rosechu and Amy go into their conversation.

And Rosey says, "Oh, I love your outfit!"

:"Oh, thank you, heheh. Heh. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, I'm Amy Rose."

:"I'm Rosechu, but you may call me Rosey."

:"You shoppin' for anybody?"

:"Just pick up a romantic comedy for me and my sweet-bolt Sonichu. [''sing-song''] He loves meeeee~"

:"Oh, me too! I bought a a new outfit f-to wear for my Sonic. It's so hard for him to etspress his feelings, but I can tell that he ilestly-s-s-has some for me."

:"Oh my sweet-boat treats me... so right. He knows the right things to say and he toad-ly respects me. We spend a lotta time together."

:[''gratingly shrill''] "NO WAAAAY! I can't even get Sonic to stand still! You are SO LUCKY!"

And then yudda-budda-yubba-yubba-yub [''PSSH!''] I come in and I say, "Oh, pardon me. But they going to girl talk for a w-couple hours and I'd like to save time... [[Random-access humor|AND MONEY ON MY CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING OVER TO GET-CO!]] HAHAHAHA!"

End of the episode. Stay tuned for da s-nest sub-episode.

==Sub-Episode 2==
{{Infobox/Videobooks
| name = Sub-Episode 2: The Rise & Fall of My Heart
| video = {{#ev:youtube|4BMLRtFeBzQ}}
| stardate = 11 [[September 2009]]
| Episode = [[Sub-Episode 2|Sub-2]]
| other = Featuring the voices of [[Rosechu]], [[Cartoon CWC]] and [[Fandanna]]
| previous = [[Sonichu_1_Official_Videobook#Episode 5|Episode 6]]
| next = [[Sonichu_2_Official_Videobook#Episode 7|Episode 7]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

Move on to the [[Sub-Episode 2]], I just would like to, uh, state a couple of things of fact from Book Number One. Yeah, the uh, [[Sonichu 0|first episode]] happened around [[Station Square]], and then the beach around [[Kel]]'s house, respectively. And then the all this in the [[Episode 2]] is like the scenario was around Kel's house and the river that flowed from there. And, uh, then back in the- and then back in the- and then in [[Episode 3]] mostly happened arou- it mostly happened in [[CWCville Shopping Center|CWCville Shopping Mall]], all the battle and everything. And uh you know, just like, you know, the rest of the scenario, like you know, but for what happened started off from Kel's house and then ended up over at the CWCville Shopping Center. So let's just update, you know, just try to make it update an [[Audiobooks|audiobook]], anyway. Anyway.

And also, [[Sub-Episode 1]] was based over in [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|Fashion Square Shopping Center]] of [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville, Virginia]]. Although I guess that's uh... nah never mind, I said it. I don't care. Let 'em come after me, especially since I'M BEING A BIG BAD IDIOT. I'M THAT [[Niggos|BLACK]] [[Jerkhief|JERKHIEF]] WHO WORKS OVER THERE. DURR DURR DURR.

Anyway.

====Sub-Episode 2====

Starring myself again.

'''The Rise and Fall of My Heart.'''

It's based on [[Hanna|real life]], actually happened March 29th, [[2005]]. So I'm waiting [[Attraction Location|in my usual place]] hoping to hope waiting for a girl to approach me. And then I'm thinkin' again. Eh, also like you know my [[Heart level|heart]] was also, uh, shattered like a couple of y-l- shattered like a couple of years back by, uh, Sl-Slawee by uh Sl- quote-unquote [[Mary Lee Walsh|Slaweel Ryam]]. Anyway. At this point, [[2003|it's been almost a year and eight months now]] since I've started my [[Love quest|Sweetheart Search]]. I'll try attract after eat my, uh, [[Obesity|eight chicken nuggets]] since I had a [[Chris and money|coupon]]. Maybe I'll [[Chris and sex|get lucky]] today!

And then all of a sudden this girl comes up, she's es-uh-es... "[[Speech Impediment|Escuse]] me, but..."

:"[[Slow in the minds|Huh]]?"

:"I heard that you were looking for a sw-[[sweetheart]], right?"

I said, "Uhhhhh uh yes! I happen to need uh a girlfriend. So uh what's your name?"

:"My name is [[Hanna|Fandanna]]."

:"I'm Christian, but you may call me Chris."

:"So I was wondering if you wanna have a coffee at the uh, shop with me. That's nearby."

:"Uh. Okay sure."

Then she walks off and I'm a show like you know oh my god I was eating- I was eating my lunch and then uh, suddenly this happened? Eh, oh, by the way... Eh. So it's like, you know, I'm meetin' her in fifteen minutes it's like [''crescendo''] ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! YES! YES! MY SWEETHEART SEARCH IS FINALLY OVER! [''singing''] DAAAOOOH THIS IS HEAVEN! Heaven! Oh look there's a little [[Chris and religion|St. Peter.]] Heheheheh. Yay!

So moments later I'm at the nearby coffee shop, and I'm s-waiting for her to, uh, meet me here and s-like, "Oh this is fantastic! A girl has finally noticed me! And we're about to drink together and talk? OH I'M SO ELATED!"

Oh and [[Rosechu]] comes in, she's like, "Oh I'm excited too, you know, you finally... did this and it's all going well for you?"

:"Heh, oh yes Rosechu. I am also glad that all my [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon|hedgehogs]] are cheering me on, too. Hey listen, why don't you go spread [[Da update|the word]] throughout [[CWCville]]? Hm. She'll be here- she'll be here soon."

:"Okay pop, I'll check in later. [''BOODOOP-BOOP-BOODOOP-BOOP-BLOONG''] Hm. [[Bubbles Rosechu|Bubbles]]? Yeah, this is Rosey. Uh, you are not going to buh-leeeeevethis!" As she walks off talking to her on the phone.

And then a few minutes later, eh so Fandanna's sitting in front of me, she says like, "So. How are you?"

:"Oh, I'm okay. Uh, so what are [[trolling|your hobbies]]?"

:"Oh well I enjoy playing my [[Gitar of Fail|guitar]], and reading Chuck Paladuck."

:"Oh, I bet that uh you play very great numbers."

:"Oh I've only practiced a couple of yeeeeears. But I may play for you sometime if you like."

:"Oh yeah sure. That would be great. [''wrong voice''] Also please tell me abou-oh wait no."

:"Also please tell me about ye-about your necklace. Is it..."

:"Oh yes my [[Medallions of Fail|Sonichu medallion]]! This is the place of my electric hedgehog Pokemon. Let me show you my uh [[Scrapbook of Fail|Sonichu book]]."

...that I had on me that day for real. So I showed her a few pages. So after I left, I gave uh Fandanna uh I look backed at her I gave her a DOUBLE-TAKE FLIRT. Which I learned that uh, recently. And then I call my family and I retire to the spot by the tree in front of the uh [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|Sun-Par]]. I started thinking in mind about steps for future dates and checked with my S-[[Nintendo]] DS game [[Sprung|"Sprung"]] for uh more tips.

And uh, now we look in on Rosechu passing by the uh coffee shop talkin' to [[Wild Sonichu]] on her tele- on her cell phone. He say, "Oh yeah, Wild, her name is Fandanna. Yeah. You'd fall for her too if you were human. Oh, hang on, I hear some gossip." So she overhears. As I.

:[''employees''] "Fandanna, do I hear [[Wedding Comic|wedding]] bells? Or, do you think he's dreamy?"

:"Oh, well, I'll tell ya I never meant anything. I was [[Mass debating|yankin' his chain]]. It was my boss's idea. Heh!"

:[''gasp!''] "Oh my god, wow. Wow, d-I have to call you back," Rosechu says. "Oh poor Chris. I have to tell him. He'll be [[Virgin with rage|upset]]. But s-it's the right thing to do."

Meanwhile, I'm playing "Sprung" and sounds like you know I'm reading along he's like, [''pensively''] "So do angels have names... hmm... that sounds about right." Rosechu approaches me.

:"Uhhhhh, Chris?"

:"Yes. Rosey, what's up?"

Looking very concerned and deep in thought, she says, "I'm sorry, but I have sumpin very important to tell you. I overheard Fandanna talking to her fellow employees? She said that she was playing you for a [[Naive|SAP]]. She's not really intrist into you."

:[''gasp!''] "I'M IN SHOCK. NO, IT CANNOT BE TRUE."

:"I'm afraid it is."

[''ERRRG EGRRRRGRGRGRGR!''] Well, fine I'll go ask her myself. Rosechu, please watch my things and keep my spot warm."

My usual spot I wait at, that is, at the mall.

So then a moment later I catch her attention and I say, "Fandanna?"

:"Uhhhh yeah?"

:"Listen. I just heard from a friend that you were yanking my- that you were pranking me and yanking my chain. [''Dramatic''] Please...say it isn't so!"

:"Oh, I'm afraid it is. It's true. My friends wanted me to play around with you I thought it would be [[Random-access humor|funny]]."

:"OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T FIND ME A BIT INTERESTING? Didn't you care a bit about me? Didn't our mini-date mean anything to you? Didn't you want to see to- see me most often?"

:"[[Truth|No]]".

[''PSH! gasp!''] My heart's been shattered again! [[Excel Saga|NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]

[''decrescendo... then crescendo''] I'm cryin' wuh- tear we're falling tears it hurts so much it hurts so gawd dang much. But, uh, earlier during that mini-date, which [[List of Chris's lies|I'm not even counting that as a date]]- I never I'm not counting that as a date. I've never counted it as a date after it ended.

Anyway, I had her e-mail address, so I sent her an e-mail reply saying:

:Fandanna? I just wanted to say that I appreciate you being the first to approach and say anything to me. I get very [[Stress|nervous]] and I was hoping for that to happen. Also, I preeshu you taking the time to chat with me at the shop, and I was very elated an' at-cited an' [[CWC-isms|butterfly-heartful]] for the positive events. [''scolding''] But it was not very nice of you to have led me on like that! Just to pull a prank on me! I was terribly HURT! Before you stepped in my world, my heart was previously shattered due to previous events and it was 20 percent repaired. After you came in, my heart had a miraculous speedy recovery to a hundred percent! Then after I had learned from you that it was a lie my heart was shattered back ta 15 PERCENT! There is a lesson to learn to this. NEVER MAKE A JOKE OR PRANK AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER PURSE'S FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS![''politely''] Still, after cooling off, I also want to say that I thought that you, Fandanna, looked very [[So Need a Cute Girl|pretty]], [[China|I enjoyed your charming wit and personality]], and I thought you had some nice and lovely girl. If you should ever change your mind on how you feel about me, you may look me up. But please tell me two things in your reply. [[Tobacky|You don't smoke do you]]? That st- that stuff really turns me off. And, you don't [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor|already have a boyfriend]] do you?

:Sincerely, Christian Weston Chandler.

:P.S. You may take this as a clue, but KEEP IN MIND that I DAAAAYD graduate from [[Manchester High School|high school]] with [[honor roll]], I did make good grades at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]]. You may wanna look up- you may wanna look it up in the search."

I forget what I h-had written there. I just crunch-crossed it out. Hmm. Anyway. Stay tuned for the [[Sonichu 2|next book]]! Have a good day.

{{Videobooks}}
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, September 2009| 2009-09-11]]

2000

2015-01-07T08:17:28Z

Mick92:

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|In '''2000''', Chris celebrated his 18th birthday.]]
[[Image:043-CWCsFavHitsIn.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2000'''.]]
[[Image:0484-CWC18th15.jpg|thumb|Chicks, uncomfortable in the [[Chandler]] household on '''24 February 2000'''.]]
[[Image:411-CWCWeekP5_crop_2.jpg|thumb|'''April 2000''', the Chandlers are moving houses.]]
[[Image:197-cwcsonstecrd.jpg|thumb|On '''29 August 2000''', Chris launches the [[Sonichu.net|CWC Sonichu site]].]]
[[Image:094-SchuMedl.jpg|thumb|In late '''2000''', Chris created the first [[Sonichu Medallion]].]]

The year '''2000''' is the year that [[Christian Weston Chandler]] turned 18 years old. He graduated from high school and started attending [[PVCC]]. The year 2000 is iconic for the [[True and Loyal Fanbase|Sonichu fanbase]], as it was the year that he thought up [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] while making a mix CD. However, he didn't start making [[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu comics]] until [[2004]].

==Events of 2000==

* Sometime - Chris begins taking Paxil for depression.<ref>[[Autism papers#MEDICATIONS:]]</ref>

===January===
* 1 January - New Year's. It is unknown what Chris did that day.
* 22 January - Mrs. Raghu, a friend from [[Richmond]], signs Chris's guestbook and says that [[Pokémon]] is sooooo cute.<ref name="Guestbook">[http://web.archive.org/web/20001021022214/http://neptune.guestworld.lycos.com/wgb/wgbview.dbm?owner=Starytime Guestbook] of [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]</ref>
* 22 January - Jaime, a "friend" of Chris's from his [[Spanish]] 2 class, signs his guestbook and says that his website is really cool, srsly.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 26 January - A person named Scott signs Chris's guestbook and compliments his site.<ref name="Guestbook" />

===February===
* 14 February - Chris writes [[Valentines Day Hymn]], a poem, and creates a collage to go with it.
* 19 February - Chris and his [[Barbara Chandler|mom]] prepare for his [[My big 18th party (story)|birthday party]].
* 24 February - Chris's 18th birthday. He has pepperoni pizza and [[CWC Cola|Pepsi]], along with watching ''Good Burger'', with his [[Gal-pal]]s at home.

===March===
* March - Chris launches [[CWC's PokéSite 2]].
* 4 March - Megan Mitchell, sister of Chris's gal-pal Miranda Mitchell, signs his guestbook and says that Chris is very good at drawing.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 12 March - Chris writes [[Hotel Ricky Ricardo]], probably for Spanish class. It shows how crappy Chris's attempts at doing his homework were.
* 16 March - Mrs. Dunlap, one of Chris's teachers, signs his guestbook and says how nice the website looked after using Miranda's logos.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 17 March - One of the most fateful days in Chris' history. When Chris is assigned to create his own [[Christian's Favorite Hits!|CD cover]], he finds out that copyrighted characters were prohibited from the project. Chris thinks up the character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a chimera of [[Pikachu]] and [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]], as a way to get around copyrights held by [[SEGA]] and [[Nintendo]].<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu CWCipedia article on Sonichu]</ref>
* 20 March - Kelbie, Annchop and Kixfairy, very strange Pokemon, are created by Chris.

===April===
* 4 April - Chris updates [[CWC's Pokésite 2|El PokéSite de RWC 2]].
* 7 April - Chris designs the cover for his Christian's Favorite Hits! CD.
* 13 April - Chris creates the Metonic card.
* 19 April - Chris creates the Christian's Sonichu card.
* 24 April - Chris starts making his self-documentary [[A Week With Christian Chandler]].
* 24 April - Chris's friend Jarrett from the Pokemon League signs his guestbook.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 29 April - Chris goes to the [[Pokémon]] league at [[Books-A-Million]]. A party is held in honor of the launch of the Team Rocket Pokémon series.
* 30 April - Chris writes that the Chandler family is moving back to [[Ruckersville]]. Christian helps move boxes.

===May===
* May - Chris takes his mom to senior prom.
* 1 May - At school, Chris prints the cover for his CD. He complains about having to ride home in a bus with some 'slow in the minds' in it. It's an odd day, so Chris has lunch alone.
* 2 May - Chris falls asleep during English class. Because it is an even day, Chris has lunch with his friends [[Tiffany Gowen]] and [[Sarah Hammer]].
* 3 May - At home, Chris plays videogames, sorts his Pokémon cards and browses the internet. He also visits the YMCA pool.
* 4 May - A school day; at Contemporary Living class Chris makes some pasta with Tiffany and Sarah, at Photography class Chris makes a mothers-day gift for Barbara.
* 5 May - Chris goes to school in shirt and tie, because it's the day of the Senior Group Photo. Because the shoot takes so long, he is picked up from school by [[Bob]].
* 9 May - Chris creates the Christian's Christian card.
* 10 May - Chris updates CWC's PokéSite 2. He changes around the fonts a bit, and adds a text that tells visitors to bookmark and promote his site, and to leave a message in his guestbook.
* 11 May - Chris creates the Dark Sonichu card.

===June===
* 1 June - Chris creates the Surfing Sonichu card.
* 2 June - Chris creates the Snowboarding Sonichu card.
* 9-11 June - Chris attends BrickFest 2000, an adult Lego fan convention.
* 15 June - Chris graduates from [[Manchester High School]]<ref>[[Chris's resume#Professional Education]]</ref> on [[honor roll]]. He throws a hissy-fit.<ref>[[Chris's Wikipedia profile#Graduation]]</ref><ref>DVD, graduation notes [[:Image:0566-GraduationNote1.jpg|1]] and [[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|2]]</ref>
* June - Chris stops working as a volunteer assistant Gym Leader at [[Books-A-Million]] in Midlothian.<ref name="experience">[[Chris's resume#Experience]]</ref>
* June - Chris, now finished moving back to Ruckersville, stops coming to Midlothian.
* June - Chris starts working as a volunteer Gym Leader at [[Toys "R" Us]] in Charlottesville.<ref name="experience" />
* 19 June - Chris updates CWC's PokéSite 2. He changes the fonts and removes some text.

===July===
* 14 July - Chris makes a CD for his "big bro" [[Cole]]. He makes like a DJ and does a radio show on [[KCWC]] about him.
* 17 July - On his site, Chris declares that his family is finally finished moving to [[Ruckersville]].
* 26 July - "Sonichu" signs Chris's guestbook, saying that Chris's site is terrific.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 27 July - Christian sets to work on Christian's Favorite Hits 2! Critics claim it is much worse than the first one, which gained minimal praise.

===August===
* August - Chris starts as a Freshman at [[PVCC|Piedmont Virginia Community College]].<ref>[[Chris's resume#Academic Education]]</ref>
* 16 August - Chris's friend from Toys R Us, Jason, signs his guestbook, saying that he beat Chris with a Moltres stall deck and wishing him good luck at PVCC.<ref name="Guestbook" />
* 20 August - Chris makes a Yahoo! account. The username is CChandler9885.
* 28 August - Chris creates the Cwc's Sonichu Site logo.
* 29 August - According to Chris, this is the day his [[Sonichu.net|CWC Sonichu site]] was launched.
* 30 August - ''[[Sonichu's News Dash]]'' Preview issue #00 comes out. Chris announces his site.
* 31 August - Chris's friend from PVCC, Nicole, signs his guestbook and says that he did a good job on the website, and she wishes him luck in anything he does.<ref name="Guestbook" />

===September===
* 4 September - ''Sonichu's News Dash'' Preview issue #01 comes out. [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] is first mentioned.
* 7 September - Chris creates Chicachu, the female Pikachu, and Maychu, the female Raichu.
* 19 September - Christian updates his Christian's Sonichu card, and creates the Christian's Chicachu card and the Christian's Maychu card. He also creates the Cwick City Gym card.
* 23 September - Chris makes the Christian's Weeler, Christian's Hotfinish and Christian's Strongtire cards. He also makes a TopDeck cover with Sonichu for his scrapbook.
* 24 September - Chris creates the Christian's Flashbulb, Christian's Coonbulb, Christian's Bugzapp, Christian's Kelbie, Christian's Annchop and Christian's Kixfairy cards.
* 28 September - ''Sonichu's News Dash'' Preview issue #02 comes out.

===November===
* 11 November - Chris signs the guestbook of a website called Lione Productions.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:134331167038.png</ref>
* 12 November - Chris creates a CD for his gal-pal [[Kellie Andes]] for her birthday.<ref>[[:File:049-Songs4Kellie.jpg]]</ref>
* 15 November - Chris updates CWC's PokéSite 2 again. He changes the font and adds some text.
* 19 November - Unfazed by the failure that was Christian's Favorite Hits 2!, Christian makes Christian's Favorite Hits 3!

===Winter===
* Chris crafts the first [[Sonichu Medallion]] from [[CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!!|Crayola Model Magic Clay]].

===December===
* 21 December - [[Sonee]], Sonichu's offspring, has a card created for him.
* 22 December - Chris publishes his last news item on [[CWC's Pokésite 2]]. Also, according to the [[Wall of Originals]], this was the day that Chris conceived [[Rosechu]].
* 23 December - Chris creates another TopDeck magazine cover featuring his creations.

==References==
<references />

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

List of toys

2015-01-01T01:45:51Z

Mick92:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|thumb|400px|CWC's main use of plastic crap is either decorating his [[room]] with it [[sex toys|or shoving it up his ass]].]]

[[Image:Plastic_Reef.jpeg|thumb|400px|[[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|This]] is probably what Chris' toy collection looks like today.]]

Chris has accumulated a grand number of '''toys''' over the course of his life, most of which are displayed in [[Chris's room|his room]]; this page lists them. Chris has claimed that he is holding on to them for his [[Reginald Chandler|future]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]].<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref> However, he has also admitted to be still purchasing and playing with toys as an adult.<ref>[[Mumble 8#Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17:43)]]</ref> At one point he revealed that he plays with his toys around 2-3 hours a day.<ref>[[Mailbag 25#In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day]]</ref>

==[[Lego]]==

===Alpha Team===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6776-1'' Ogel Control Center
|$50
|}

===City/Town===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7892'' [[Chris and health|Hospital]]
|$50
|-
|''6337-1'' Fast Track Finish
|$40
|-
|''6517'' Water Jet
|$3
|-
|''7240-1'' Fire Station
|$30
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$123'''
|}

===Exo-Force===
[[Image:Exo-wallpaper-Humans.jpg|thumb|Exo-Force was created to attract basement dwelling [[anime]] freaks to Lego. which made it the perfect theme for Chris.]]
{| class="wikitable"
|''7700'' Stealth Hunter
|$15
|-
|''7701'' Grand Titan
|$15
|-
|''7712-1'' Supernova
|$20
|-
|''7703'' Fire Vulture
|$15
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$65'''
|}

===Make and Create===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4881-1'' Robo Platoon
|$10
|-
|''4097-1'' Mini Robots
|$10
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$20'''
|}

===Ninja===
The Flying Ninja Fortress was a fortress for flying ninjas, not a fortress that flew.
{| class="wikitable"
|''6093'' Flying Ninja Fortress
|$90
|}

===Space===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6949'' Robo-Guardian
|$36
|-
|''6975-1'' Alien Avenger
|$60
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|$96
|}

===[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Spider-Man]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4856-1''[[Merried Seinor Comic|Doc Ock's]] [[Chris's room|Hideout]]
|$50
|}

===[[Star Wars]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7146'' TIE Fighters (two purchased)
|$40 ''($20 each)''
|-
|''7106-1'' Droid Escape
|$6
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$46'''
|}

===Western===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6755'' [[jerkop|Sheriff's]] Lock-Up
|$25
|}

===Total===
Assuming recommended retail prices (RRP) the total comes to at least:
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Total'''
|$515
|}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==

===Plush===

Great Eastern Sonic plush

Great Eastern [[Knuckles]] plush

===Figures===

Jazwares [[Tails]]

ReSaurus Sonic

ReSaurus Knuckles

ReSaurus Tails

ReSaurus Big the [[Cat]]

ReSaurus [[Rose]]

ReSaurus E102 Gamma

Toy Island Sonic Space Fighter

Toy Island [[Dr Eggman]]

Toy Island Sonic

Toy Island [[Shadow]]

==[[Transformers]]==
'''Assuming highest prices.'''

===Transformers: Generation One===
[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] (seen in "CWC is Angry"). Note: this is the Japanese reissue edition. Probably $75–$125 from an online retailer.
{| class="wikitable"
|[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]
|$100 (median)
|-
|Ultra Magnus
|$100
|-
|Afterburner
|$15
|}

===Transformers: Generation Two===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$30 (at least)
|}
Optimus Prime ($30 at initial retail, probably more if Chris bought it from the secondary market)

===Transformers: Beast Wars===
{| class="wikitable"
|Transmetal Optimus Primal
|$20 ($15 and 20)
|}

===Transformers: Beast Machines===
{| class="wikitable"
|Scavenger
|$10 ($7 and 10)
|}

===Transformers: Armada===
{| class="wikitable"
|Jetfire w/ Comettor
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Megatron w/ Leader-1
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Optimus Prime w/ Sparkplug
|$50
|-
|Overload w/ Rollout
|$30
|-
|Cyclonus w/ Crumplezone
|$10
|-
|Sideways w/ Rook and Crosswise
|$12 ($10–12)
|-
|Unicron w/ Dead End
|$50
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''212'''
|}

===Transformers: Energon===
{| class="wikitable"
|Demolishor w/ Blackout
|$12 ($10-12)
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''12'''
|}

===Transformers: Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Brushguard
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Evac
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|Cybertron Defense Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Jetfire
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Megatron ($40–50)
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Overhaul
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Override
|$12 ''($10-$12'')
|-
|Primus
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Red Alert
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Scourge
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Sideways
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Soundwave
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Thunderclash
|$12 ''($6-8)''
|-
|Undermine
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Unicron
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Vector Prime
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''323'''
|}

===''Transformers'' (2007 film)===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|}

===''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen''===

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Slow-in-the-minds|Skids]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|[[Chris and race|Mudflap]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$24'''
|}

===Anniversary Editions===
{| class="wikitable"
|20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
|($30–$75 at retail, depending on when Chris bought it)
|}
===Transformers: Alternators===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime (Ford pickup truck
|$25 ''($20-25 at retail)''
|}

===Transformers: Heroes of Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Bumblebee w/ Spike Witwicky
|$5 ''($3-5)''
|}

==Total==
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Optimus Prime '''
|'''$874 (at least)'''
|}

==[[My Little Pony]]==
My Little Pony is popular with little girls worldwide. Sadly, not even the poor ponies are exempt from entering Chris's twisted world. In italics are their new identities.
{| class="wikitable"
|Cutie Keen Bean
|$10'
|-
|Exclusive Lolligiggle (''Educait'')
|$20
|-
|Favorite Friends Rarity the Unicorn Pony Figure (''Johnlamence -Cyber Warrior-'')
|$20
|-
|Cutie Cascade Fairy Dust Pony (''Camo-Flage'', ''Mimmbo Boruto'' and ''Squall Metal Alchemest'')
|$60 ''($20 each, three purchased)''
|-
|Crystal Princess Pretty Patterns Fancy (''Ty Game'')
|$20
|-
|Dress-Up Daywear Wing Wishes with Toola-Roola & Meadowbrook Pony<ref>(He took Toola-Roola's Antennae and put them on Meadowbrook. Toola-Roola's whereabouts are unknown)</ref>
|$50
|-
|Sweetberry Diva Pose (''BottomBeck'')
|$20
|-
|Sweet Breeze Pose (''Honeysumerah'' and ''Modest Manna'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|Seaspray Pose (''Cheroki-Chan'')
|$20
|-
|Beachberry Pose (''Linnhadey'' and ''Federico'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$300'''
|}

==[[Power Rangers]]==
{| class="wikitable"
|Wild Force Predazord
|$50
|}

==Grand Total==
And this isn't even counting all the crap we can't see or are unable to catalogue....
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Grand Total'''
|'''$1,739
|}

==References==
<references/>

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]

2014

2015-01-01T01:41:45Z

Mick92:

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|It's been a fair year. Thanks for being a part of it.|Chris, December 22 2014}}
{{quote|Starts the year by burning his own house down, ends the year by going to jail for assault. Bravo, Chris.|A forum poster summing up 2014}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' was the sixth year of organized trolling since Chris's discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note ''(save for the occasional rant by Chris on his [[Facebook]] account)''...until it was revealed on the 11th of January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity. Some trolls have noted, however, that given all that has happened to him, Chris has lost a lot of energy, and has begun to show signs of being mentally burned out.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[Monthly Tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year does continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new girlfriend]], later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behaviour is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise; Sonic's arms are blue.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris has seen fit to fuck up his chances of going home ''(as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him)'' - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in ''jail'', awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis. Chris was also rumoured to be shoplifting at Best Buy, with Chris posted two Facebook posts about this rumour.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}

Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]]. He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]

{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor Roll|very poor marks]].

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sells [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by [[CWCki Forums|Forums]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris comes out on Facebook as "Lesbian Identified Male" and self described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny." He also expresses solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he is very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also reveals he has a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sells tons of stuff on eBay, and obtains materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while raging over a small brushfire occuring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his Keep Sonic Original group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in December.]]
Chris started the month off on a low note -primarily consisting of his irrational [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] on [[Facebook]]- until on [[26 December 2014|26 December]], when Chris was arrested for [[List of places that have banned Chris|trespassing]] and [[Chris and the law|assaulting an employee]] at a local [[GameStop]]. After being held in [[Jerkops|Albemarle Regional Jail]] for three days, Chris was released on bail to await his trial on 5 February 2015.

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

List of toys

2014-02-23T04:26:14Z

Mick92:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|thumb|400px|CWC's main use of plastic crap is either decorating his [[room]] with it [[sex toys|or shoving it up his ass]].]]

[[Image:Plastic_Reef.jpeg|thumb|400px|[[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|This]] is probably what Chris' toy collection looks today.]]

Chris has accumulated a grand number of '''toys''' over the course of his life, most of which are displayed in [[Chris's room|his room]]; this page lists them. Chris has claimed that he is holding on to them for his [[Reginald Chandler|future]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]].<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref> However, he has also admitted to be still purchasing and playing with toys as an adult.<ref>[[Mumble 8#Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17:43)]]</ref> At one point he revealed that he plays with his toys around 2-3 hours a day.<ref>[[Mailbag 25#In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day]]</ref>

==[[Lego]]==

===Alpha Team===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6776-1'' Ogel Control Center
|$50
|}

===City/Town===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7892'' [[Chris and health|Hospital]]
|$50
|-
|''6337-1'' Fast Track Finish
|$40
|-
|''6517'' Water Jet
|$3
|-
|''7240-1'' Fire Station
|$30
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$123'''
|}

===Exo-Force===
[[Image:Exo-wallpaper-Humans.jpg|thumb|Exo-Force was created to attract basement dwelling [[anime]] freaks to Lego. which made it the perfect theme for Chris.]]
{| class="wikitable"
|''7700'' Stealth Hunter
|$15
|-
|''7701'' Grand Titan
|$15
|-
|''7712-1'' Supernova
|$20
|-
|''7703'' Fire Vulture
|$15
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$65'''
|}

===Make and Create===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4881-1'' Robo Platoon
|$10
|-
|''4097-1'' Mini Robots
|$10
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$20'''
|}

===Ninja===
The Flying Ninja Fortress was a fortress for flying ninjas, not a fortress that flew.
{| class="wikitable"
|''6093'' Flying Ninja Fortress
|$90
|}

===Space===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6949'' Robo-Guardian
|$36
|-
|''6975-1'' Alien Avenger
|$60
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|$96
|}

===[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Spider-Man]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4856-1''[[Merried Seinor Comic|Doc Ock's]] [[Chris's room|Hideout]]
|$50
|}

===[[Star Wars]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7146'' TIE Fighters (two purchased)
|$40 ''($20 each)''
|-
|''7106-1'' Droid Escape
|$6
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$46'''
|}

===Western===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6755'' [[jerkop|Sheriff's]] Lock-Up
|$25
|}

===Total===
Assuming recommended retail prices (RRP) the total comes to at least:
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Total'''
|$515
|}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==

===Plush===

Great Eastern Sonic plush

Great Eastern [[Knuckles]] plush

===Figures===

Jazwares [[Tails]]

ReSaurus Sonic

ReSaurus Knuckles

ReSaurus Tails

ReSaurus Big the [[Cat]]

ReSaurus [[Rose]]

ReSaurus E102 Gamma

Toy Island Sonic Space Fighter

Toy Island [[Dr Eggman]]

Toy Island Sonic

Toy Island [[Shadow]]

==[[Transformers]]==
'''Assuming highest prices.'''

===Transformers: Generation One===
[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] (seen in "CWC is Angry"). Note: this is the Japanese reissue edition. Probably $75–$125 from an online retailer.
{| class="wikitable"
|[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]
|$100 (median)
|-
|Ultra Magnus
|$100
|-
|Afterburner
|$15
|}

===Transformers: Generation Two===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$30 (at least)
|}
Optimus Prime ($30 at initial retail, probably more if Chris bought it from the secondary market)

===Transformers: Beast Wars===
{| class="wikitable"
|Transmetal Optimus Primal
|$20 ($15 and 20)
|}

===Transformers: Beast Machines===
{| class="wikitable"
|Scavenger
|$10 ($7 and 10)
|}

===Transformers: Armada===
{| class="wikitable"
|Jetfire w/ Comettor
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Megatron w/ Leader-1
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Optimus Prime w/ Sparkplug
|$50
|-
|Overload w/ Rollout
|$30
|-
|Cyclonus w/ Crumplezone
|$10
|-
|Sideways w/ Rook and Crosswise
|$12 ($10–12)
|-
|Unicron w/ Dead End
|$50
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''212'''
|}

===Transformers: Energon===
{| class="wikitable"
|Demolishor w/ Blackout
|$12 ($10-12)
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''12'''
|}

===Transformers: Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Brushguard
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Evac
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|Cybertron Defense Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Jetfire
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Megatron ($40–50)
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Overhaul
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Override
|$12 ''($10-$12'')
|-
|Primus
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Red Alert
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Scourge
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Sideways
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Soundwave
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Thunderclash
|$12 ''($6-8)''
|-
|Undermine
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Unicron
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Vector Prime
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''323'''
|}

===''Transformers'' (2007 film)===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|}

===''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen''===

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Slow-in-the-minds|Skids]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|[[Chris and race|Mudflap]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$24'''
|}

===Anniversary Editions===
{| class="wikitable"
|20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
|($30–$75 at retail, depending on when Chris bought it)
|}
===Transformers: Alternators===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime (Ford pickup truck
|$25 ''($20-25 at retail)''
|}

===Transformers: Heroes of Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Bumblebee w/ Spike Witwicky
|$5 ''($3-5)''
|}

==Total==
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Optimus Prime '''
|'''$874 (at least)'''
|}

==[[My Little Pony]]==
My Little Pony is popular with little girls worldwide. Sadly, not even the poor ponies are exempt from entering Chris's twisted world. In italics are their new identities.
{| class="wikitable"
|Cutie Keen Bean
|$10'
|-
|Exclusive Lolligiggle (''Educait'')
|$20
|-
|Favorite Friends Rarity the Unicorn Pony Figure (''Johnlamence -Cyber Warrior-'')
|$20
|-
|Cutie Cascade Fairy Dust Pony (''Camo-Flage'', ''Mimmbo Boruto'' and ''Squall Metal Alchemest'')
|$60 ''($20 each, three purchased)''
|-
|Crystal Princess Pretty Patterns Fancy (''Ty Game'')
|$20
|-
|Dress-Up Daywear Wing Wishes with Toola-Roola & Meadowbrook Pony<ref>(He took Toola-Roola's Antennae and put them on Meadowbrook. Toola-Roola's whereabouts are unknown)</ref>
|$50
|-
|Sweetberry Diva Pose (''BottomBeck'')
|$20
|-
|Sweet Breeze Pose (''Honeysumerah'' and ''Modest Manna'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|Seaspray Pose (''Cheroki-Chan'')
|$20
|-
|Beachberry Pose (''Linnhadey'' and ''Federico'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$300'''
|}

==[[Power Rangers]]==
{| class="wikitable"
|Wild Force Predazord
|$50
|}

==Grand Total==
And this isn't even counting all the crap we can't see or are unable to catalogue....
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Grand Total'''
|'''$1,739
|}

==References==
<references/>

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]