CWCki - User contributions [en]

List of Sonichu characters

2010-11-17T18:23:51Z

Miss Noel: /* Reginald Sneasel */

The following is a '''list of ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' characters''', in order of [[fail|appearance]].

==[[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]]==
===Christian Weston Chandler===
{{main|Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Chris-Chan Sonichu|Collosal Chan|Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan}}

[[File:ColossalChrisChanVSMaryLeeWalsh.jpg|thumb|The heroic Christian Weston Chandler!]]

Chris-chan's alternate self and [[Wikipedia:Mary Sue|Mary Sue]], who, believe it or not, is meant to be the hero. In the comic, Chris is portrayed as much thinner than his corpulent IRL counterpart (except in earlier episodes). Comic Chris is also even ''more'' psychotic than Real Chris, having [[4-cent_garbage.com|murdered hundreds of people]] in a [[Twin Falling Towers|terrorist]] attack, permanently crippled [[Liquid Chris|several]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|others]], [[Gun Comic|blown out people's kneecaps with a handgun]] after they've surrendered, [[Sonichu 0|destroyed]] the home life of a [[Jerkhief|man]] who was simply doing his job, carried out a mini-Holocaust on [[Homos|homosexuals]], and had four men arrested, tried in an openly biased court, and personally executed in brutal and inhumane ways. For making a [[Asperchu|parody webcomic]]. And all with a gleeful smile on his face. His medallion allows him to don a [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursuit]] when he shouts the phrase ''Electric Hedgehog Power!'', and he can access his [[Collosal Chan|Collosal]] form with the use of the seven [[Sonichu Balls]].

Christian first appeared right on the front cover of [[Issue 0]], ordering Sonichu around. He cameoed throughout the rest of the comics, and took over as the main character in [[Issue 2]], which portrayed him as a descendant of the [[Cherokian Clan]] and fulfiller of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Chris has since made himself and his [[love quest]] the [[Chris and his ego|center of attention]] and main focus of the comic in every issue (with a [[Sonichu 8|few exceptions]]).

===Sonichu===
{{main|Sonichu (character)|Ultra Sonichu}}

[[File:I am not Gay.jpg|thumb|left|'I am [[gay|STRAIGHT!]]']]
Christian's "original" character. Sonichu is a recolor who is an unholy fusion of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokemon|a Pikachu]]. In earlier episodes he was the main protagonist of the comics. That is, until Chris took the spotlight. By [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]], Christian had taken over as the main character, and by [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], Chris had added [[Chaotic Combo|a new batch of recolors]] who took over from Sonichu as the supporting cast. Consequently, Sonichu didn't have a central role again until [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he returned to his original purpose as a Sue for Chris. He continued this trend through the following issue. However, he did remain in the spotlight in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], despite Chris's return, as he transformed into [[Ultra Sonichu]] and helped Chris in his killing spree.

===Rosechu===
{{main|Rosechu|The Incredible Lioness}}

[[Sonichu]]'s worthless, 0-dimensional girlfriend. She enjoys flowers, shopping, and getting kidnapped on a regular basis. She is completely incompetent and constantly relies on Sonichu to do even the most menial of tasks for her. Rosechu almost never walks or runs in public, she is always carried around by Sonichu. She also is ridiculously horny. [[Women's rights|This is Chris's idea of how women behave]], likely adapted from TV comedies or anime. She is the one of the few main characters to do almost nothing for the entire series, though she did once face rape [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].

===Sonic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Sonic the Hedgehog}}

[[Sega]] mascot and a major example of copyright infringement in the comic. He makes a few appearances in the comic, most notably in the first issue, as he's partly responsible for Sonichu's existence, as described below. He also shows up to help Sonichu again in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]], after Rosechu gets kidnapped. [[Women's rights|Again]].

Sonic also appears on the front cover of [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]], and is thought to be returning for the '10 year anniversary.'

===Perfect Chaos Monster===
[[Image:Perfect_Chaos.jpg|thumb|right|Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonic X'' vs Perfect Chaos as he appears in ''Sonichu''. Kinda lost his luster, huh?]]

'''Perfect Chaos''', or [[CWC-isms|"Perfect Chaos Monster"]] as Chris calls him, is the final form of Chaos, a villain introduced in the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Sonic Adventure|Sonic Adventure]]''. Composed of a liquid substance, Chaos assumes multiple shapes as it acquires the seven Chaos Emeralds, absorbing their negative energy to increase its power. Upon obtaining all seven, Chaos becomes Perfect Chaos, a serpentine creature of massive size, and proceeds to destroy the city of [[Station Square]]. Sonic defeats Perfect Chaos by utilizing the ''positive'' energy of the Chaos Emeralds, which transforms him into Super Sonic.

This battle was adapted by Chris to provide the background for the origin of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] in the [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of his [[Sonichu (comic)|new comic book series]]. The ''Sonichu'' series begins with a male [[Pikachu]] wandering into Station Square in the middle of a fight between Super Sonic and Perfect Chaos, whom Chris identifies as the "Perfect Chaos Monster". During the fight, Sonic accidentally collides with the Pikachu, somehow triggering an [[Rainbow|unexplained phenomenon]] which imparts Sonic's appearance and powers upon the Pikachu. The new Pikachu/Sonic hybrid awakens to find Sonic has still not defeated Perfect Chaos, and rushes to his aid. Using his new-found powers, he defeats the monster, and the onlookers, who mistake him for Sonic's super form, credit Sonic for the victory (retconning the ''Sonic Adventure'' game so that Sonic is [[Chris and his ego|little more than an assistant to Chris's original character]]). Contemplating his new form, the mutated Pikachu adopts the name "Sonichu", and returns to the wild. After that, Perfect Chaos is never mentioned again in the pages of ''Sonichu''.

===Trainer Kel===
{{main|Kel}}

[[File:KelHallOfFame.jpg|thumb|left|Wait, when did Kel ever see Rosechu again?]]
Female Pokémon trainer who owned the Raichu which transformed into [[Rosechu]]. Continued to take care of Rosechu until [[Sonichu]] took over as her new pimp. She then disappeared for a long time, but when [[Sean August Watley]] later used Trainer Kel as a central character in his own comic, Moon-Pals, Christian became [[Death threats|very upset]]. When Sean was executed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris bought back Kel as his executioner, where she got her revenge on Sean for him DARING to give her a personality and a starring role.

Most of Kel's backstory and what little personality she apparently had came through the [[CWCipedia]] article on Sonichu. According to this article, by some strange and nonsensical twist of fate, she fell madly in love with [[Naitsirhc]] at some point. This same article also claimed however, that she was kind, sweet, innocent and caring.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Sonichu]</ref> This in spite of the fact that she shot a man to death at point-blank range. Given the contradictions, it is safe to assume that this article is non canon.

===David the Dragonite/Daisy the Dragonite===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Wikipedia:Dragonite|Dragonite]] Kel also owned. The considerate Pokémon trainer offered his [[Duck|sexual services]] to [[Rosechu]] when the latter was [[Masturbating and squirtin'|in heat]], noting that he's "[[Honest|loyal]]". Rosechu refused, stating that David is "[[Obesity|just too big]]" even for her loose, gaping [[China]], and suggesting Kel [[Patti-Chan|have sex with him herself]]. Kel enigmatically answers that "she can't say she didn't try". Did they or didn't they? History will [[Chris and writing#Kudzu plot|never know]].

Strangely enough, David may have been [[retcon]]ned into "Daisy the Dragonite", as indicated by a listing of Kel's Pokémon on [[CWCipedia]]. David, who appeared in [[Issue 0]] (Episodes 2 and 3), is not mentioned on the list, though Daisy is and is the only Dragonite on the list. It would not be out of the question to think that Chris simply forgot about David's importance to the canon and retconned him into a girl, especially probable due to the fact that both names begin with the same letter and Chris couldn't really name a girl "Davidina", plus the fact that he has created [[Simonla|gender-benders]] before. This would indicate that Kel, in fact, offered "Daisy" to Rosechu for a [[lesbian]] relationship, which in turn calls into question the sexuality of Rosechu, Kel, and the Dragonite, and makes several aspects of the comic a great deal more confusing.

===Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc===
{{main|Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc}}
[[File:082-ReldnahcNotsewNaitsirhc.jpg|thumb|100px|You can tell he's gay because he is shirtless. Straight men wear [[Muscle bra|bras]]!]]

Originally known as Naitsirhc Giovanni, he was Christian's long lost twin brother, and was found and adopted by the [[Pokémon]] villain [[Giovanni]], and raised as a member of Team Rocket. When [[Chris]] fell into the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], his [[Medallion]] also entered the darkness, awakening a dormant evil within Naitsirhc, and transforming him into an evil(er) version of Chris. Renaming himself Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, the new anti-Chris dedicated himself to world conquest, and the destruction of his "[[gay|straight]]" twin.

Like Chris, Reldnahc has his own Sonichu Medallion, patterned after [[Black Sonichu]], which he uses to transform into his fursona of Reldnahc Ha-Taque. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Christian [[Rape|pins him down]] and forcibly injects him with the Gay Vaccine from the future, which destroys his medallion, makes him lose his powers and turns him into a "good guy". Because as we all know, [[Chris and reality|homosexuality makes you evil]]. He was then sent to [[Kel]].

===Zapdos===
{{main|Pokemon}}

An electric type [[Pokémon]] and one of the three legendary birds. Zapdos was used by [[Naitsirhc]] to capture [[Rosechu]] and battle [[Sonichu]] in CWCville Mall. Although Sonichu was victorious, Naitsirhc obtained a sample of Sonichu's [[Semen|DNA]], which he would later use in the creation of [[Black Sonichu]].

===Jerkhief===
{{main|Jerkhief}}

[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|Chris did once explain what this line meant. It made no more sense afterward than before.]]
Leader of the [[Jerkops]]. The Jerkhief is a massive [[African American]] man in a brown police uniform. Known for his beloved catchphrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" and "MAH SOUL HURTS!"

He attempts to arrest Chris for soliciting in the [[CWCville]] Mall, but is defeated by Christian's use of his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] form. Jerkhief pulls a gun on the attacking furmonster, but Christian hits him with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]], causing him to lose his wife, children and home, and making the poor man break down in tears. Another victory for the forces of [[fail|good]]!

===Jerkops===
{{main|Jerkops}}
Villainous foot-soldiers of [[Mary Lee Walsh]], the Jerkops are based upon various police officers and security guards Chris has encountered during his [[Love Quest]]. They are supposedly brainwashed [[slow-in-the-minds]] and College students. In spite of this, Christian has [[Chris and death|no qualms in killing them]], and doesn't even mention the possibility of curing them until way later in the series. It has also been suggested that the Jerkops leaders (aside from Mary and [[Count Graduon]]) were under similar influence, which makes Christian's cruelty to Jerkhief even worse.

===Metonic===
{{main|Metonic}}

Evolved form of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Vamprosa===
{{main|Vamprosa}}

Evolved form of [[Rosechu]]. Appears only in a Classic Sonichu strip set in 2029.

===Barbara Chandler===
{{main|Barbara Chandler}}

Chris's mother, and Sonichu's grandmother. Or something. The two rescued Barbara from [[Naitsirhc]] in one of the Classic Sonichu strips reprinted in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]].

==[[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]]==
===Giovanni===
{{main|Giovanni}}
[[File:Giovanni1.jpg|thumb|Remember when Giovanni was cool?]]

The leader of Team Rocket and villain of the first generation [[Pokemon]] games, Giovanni is determined to capture [[Sonichu]] at any cost. He teamed up with Doctor Robotnik to devise the perfect trap for Sonichu. Their plot was foiled, however, as Sonichu unexpectedly got help in dealing with the kidnappers, rather than going in alone like a [[retard]], as they expected him to do. However, he only got help from [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] because he bumped into him on his way to the base. So Sonichu is still retarded, just lucky.

Later on, Giovanni seems to have reevaluated his goals, and now seeks to take over [[CWCville]] and kill Christian, as he joined forces with the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]] and helped them out during their attack on the city in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]. Surprisingly, he seemed to want his son Reldnahc to rule the city, rather than wanting it for himself. This shows that at least Giovanni thinks of others sometimes rather than himself, which is more than can be said for our heroes.

===Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik===
{{main|Doctor Robotnik}}

[[File:Robotnik.jpg|thumb|left|Even Eggman was never this flamboyant.]]
Recurring villain of the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] games. A mad genius with an IQ of 300, 'Dr. Eggman', as he is known, has tried to conquer the world multiple times, in an effort to build his own nation of robotic followers; Eggmanland. In ''Sonichu'', however, he shows up to help Giovanni devise a trap for Sonichu and later helps to try and take over CWCville with the PVCC. Why he would ever bother with trivial things such as catching pokemon, or why he has any kind of grudge against [[Chris and his ego|Chris of all people]] is a mystery that not even [[GodJesus]] could solve.

Also of note is that in the games, Eggman has a fleet of thousands of battleships, billions of robots, including elite androids based on [[Shadow the Hedgehog]] and the nigh unstoppable E-Series robots, as well as gigantic controllable mechs, and of course Metal Sonic. Not only this, but he also has access to multiple doomsday weapons, not least of all Space Colony ARK and a huge satellite, (As seen in ''Sonic Unleashed'') that could blow the fucking planet into pieces. In spite of having this MASSIVE load of firepower, he has used NONE of it in his battle again Chris. Not even a single Egg Pawn.

===Team Rocket===
Team Rocket is the villainous organization that captures [[Pokémon]] (from the series of the same name). But somehow the company has either fallen on hard times because of the global recession or made a fucking stupid business decision as they set up a new headquarters in [[CWCville]].

Team Rocket is run by [[Giovanni]] and his retarded homosexual son, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]].

They are also responsible for the creation of [[Blake]].

=== Dr. Bill Schwartz (Bill the Scientist) ===
[[File:Bill1.png|thumb| Dr. Bill Schwartz the Scientist]]
One of the most popular characters in Sonichu lore, Bill Schwartz, PhD, was a genetics researcher for [[Team Rocket]] during the organization's brief alliance with [[Robotnik|Ivo Robotnik]]. It was Bill's duty to prepare [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu's]] DNA for the cloning machine, but he inadvertently spilled cherry cola into the sample, mutating the chromosomes of [[Blake|the clone]] until it took on a black color.

Bill is currently believed to be getting high somewhere with the [[Boulder-Dropping Whale]], [[Metal Sonichu]], and [[Yawning Squirtle]], which ended up being the premise for the troll comic, Moon-Pals. Chris, probably angry about the comic portraying Bill as a stoner, declared this depiction of him invalid on [[Twitter]], saying Bill was still in employ of Giovanni, and would be returning in comic. Bill later appears in [[Sonichu 10]], stating that he [[Chris and English|stopped working for Giovanny to save lives, and that he hats these bad days]]. Bill later appears, along with [[Kel]] and [[Allison Amber]], to execute Sean for his tenuously defined crimes against CWCville.

===Black Sonichu/Blake===
{{main|Black Sonichu}}
[[File:254-BlachuPose.jpg|thumb|left|Doesn't he remind you of [[Shadow the Hedgehog|someone]]?]]

Also known as "Blachu" and "Blake", Black Sonichu was cloned from samples of Sonichu's [[semen|DNA]], which Naitsirhc obtained in [[fapcup|battle]]. Mutated slightly from an accidental cherry cola contamination in the laboratory, the clone grew to have insidious black and red fur, in stark contrast to Sonichu's heroic urine-and-feces color scheme. Initially, Black Sonichu started out as a lackey for [[Giovanni]], and then later Reldnahc, before finally becoming a watered-down good guy with an attitude when he fell in love with [[Bubbles]]. Black Sonichu was last seen recuperating from his traumatic rape at the hands of a [[Silvana Rosechu|trannie]].

He also has his own superform, in the same vein as [[Ultra Sonichu]], named [[Wall of Originals|Silver Blachu]]. It is never seen in the comic, though.

Although Black Sonichu was technically introduced in the following issue, he did appear in one of the Classic Sonichu strips, [[Love quest|stalking]] [[Rosechu]].

=== Metal Sonichu ===
The [[Sonichu]] rip-off of Metal Sonic, he is one of the few characters even Chris will admit is a rip-off. (Despite this, he has [[Alec]]'s derivative character Metal [[Asperchu]] refer to [[Collosal Chan|GodMode!Chris]] as the "original creator", either implying that Chris wanted to claim Metal Sonichu as original all along, or he wanted to [[Chris and copyright|take credit for another one of Alec's characters]]). Sadly, though, he blames Robotnik for it. After being defeated by Sonic and Sonichu in [[Sonichu 1|''Sonichu'' #1]] he crashes into the fucking [[moon]]; however, he survives this attack, as evident by his hand rising out of one of the craters resulting in a cliffhanger.

The fans speculated that Chris probably just forgot about him and he will never be heard of again, but after being constantly reminded about him in the [[Mailbag]], and after Sean used Metal Sonichu for Moon-Pals, Chris suddenly declared that that Metal Sonichu would be returning at some point in [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] or [[Sonichu 12|''Sonichu'' #12]], and that he would become a vessel for the recently-returned [[Count Graduon]] and become the new villain, since he had already removed every other villain from the comic entirely, and [[Fail|left nothing for his characters to do anymore]].
{{-}}
<center><gallery>
Image:MetalSonichu.jpg|The [[fail]] almost leaps off of the page!
Image:220-ACMSchu.jpg|In [[Animal Crossing]] card form.
Image:221-ACMSchuBck.jpg|Yeah...
Image:222-YuMSchu.jpg|[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] variation.
</gallery></center>

 

===Amy Rose===
{{main|Amy Rose}}
[[File:Rosechu-AmyRose1.jpg|200px|thumb|'I had no idea that the [[Metal Gear Solid|Les Enfants Terribles Project]] had gone this far!']]

[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'s love interest. Amy Rose in the [[video games]] is a 12 year old fangirl who has an obsessive crush on Sonic and often pursues him on his adventures to try and get his attention and appreciation.

That said, she at least does something in the video games, and often helps out the rest of the heroes on their quest, such as in ''Sonic Adventure'', where she singlehandedly defeated the Zero robot and in ''Sonic Adventure 2'', where she broke into a military base and freed a captured Sonic. In ''Sonichu'', however, all her personality is gone and she is just as vapid and useless and stereotypical as any rosechu. She shows up for a couple of pages in [[Issue 1]] where she talks with Rosechu at CWCville Mall about meaningless bullshit. Interestingly, the page shows how much Chris ended up copying her design for Rosechu.

===Hanna===
{{main|Hanna}}

A woman who [[trolled]] Chris IRL by pretending to respond favorably to his [[Attraction Sign]]. Chris, epic lulzcow that he is, not only fell for the ruse, not only shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" in a public place when he discovered the truth, not only e-mailed her to ask her out again sometime, but also documented the entire sorry affair in his own comics.

The ''Sonichu'' version of Hanna is apparently an agent of PVCC, and the only troll in the entire comic to to not be a cackling evil bastard, probably due to being a woman.

==[[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]]==

===Wes Iseli===
{{main|Wes Iseli|Wasabi Rival}}

[[File:Wes Iseli.jpg|thumb|left|In his Wes-Li Sonichu form.]]
Sarah Hammer's IRL boyfriend, whom Chris jealously demonized in his comics by casting him as the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], a band of power hungry Native Americans who were enemies with the Cherokee.

When Chris fulfilled the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] by becoming [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]], Wes was visited by the spirit of the Wasabi leader, who granted him the power to become [[Wes-Li Sonichu]]. At first, Wes used his powers to attack Chris, until Sarah dumped his ass and convinced both of them to join her in defeating [[Count Graduon]]. Wes would later appear as a directionless villain, attacking Sarah Hammer's wedding in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]], and attending [[Mary Lee Walsh|Mary Lee Walsh's]] villain conclave in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], as well as assisting in the attack on CWCville during [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]].

===Sarah Hammer===
{{main|Sarah Hammer|Queen of the Cherokian Clan}}
[[Image:Sonichu02-P13.jpg|thumb|Sarah as she appears in [[Sonichu 2|''Sonichu'' #2]].]]

Chris's childhood friend, whom he later selected to bear his children before he discovered she was involved with another man. Chris nonetheless depicted her as the reincarnation of the [[Queen of the Cherokian Clan]] in his comics, and bestowed upon her the power to become a super-powered furfag just like himself.

As Saramah Rosechu, Sarah joined Chris-Chan Sonichu and Wes-Li Sonichu in a prophesied battled against [[Count Graduon]]. Failing to actually defeat the villain, the trio sort of split up, leaving Chris to deal with him alone. Sarah then got married to another man, rejecting Chris yet again, and she left the city of CWCville entirely. She did cameo once more however, in [[Sonichu Special 2]], where she dressed in drag and attended the ceremony of Christian's ill fated marriage to [[Ivy]], acting as his best man.

===Keeper of the Destiny Cave===
An old fart who had hung around by an old cave for centuries, waiting for Chris to come along and use his [[Medallion]] to transform into his [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|fursona]]. After revealing the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] to Chris and Sonichu, the Cave Keeper was never seen again. He's probably having a toke or two with [[Yawning Squirtle]], if he's smart.

===Mary Lee Walsh===
{{main|Mary Lee Walsh}}

[[Image:Mary-lee-Walsh.jpg|thumb|left|For some reason, Mary has become a frequent subject of pictures like this.]]

Arch-nemesis to Christian (and by extension, Sonichu), Walsh is based on the real life dean of [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], against whom Chris has nursed a grudge for years. In the comics, Walsh is portrayed as tyrannical witch, waging a bitter and ruthless war against love itself. For some reason, she considers cock-blocking Chris to be of vital importance to her goals, even though Chris does a pretty good job of that himself.

Mary Lee Walsh first appeared in the comics in [[Issue 2]], but a preview of her design was shown in [[Issue 0]], and she had been mentioned in both [[sub-episodes]] that had been in previous comics. In her first full appearance, she was wielding the staff of [[Count Graduon]], and directing the Golem attacking [[CWCville]]. This is thought to be her canonical first appearance as well, and it is believed that the subepisodes all take place after [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], since the very first sub-episode features Chris-Chan Sonichu.

Throughout the comics, she did nothing but throw wave after wave of [[Jerkops]], [[Manajerks]] and other PVCC agents at Chris. Occasionally she'd help out herself, and sometimes she'd just kick back and let her robots handle it. She captured [[Crystal Weston Chandler]] in the Dark Mirror Hole at one point, but it had very little lasting consequence. Christian later confronted her as Hobo-Chan in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. There, she let Chris destroy Graduon's staff and she surrendered. Not content, Christian attacked her with two large swords. It ended with her being paralyzed for life and put in prison.

===Count Graduon===
{{main|Count Graduon}}

[[Image:Count_Graduon.jpg|thumb|Count Graduon, the most [[Homos|phallic]] villain in the ''Sonichu'' series.]]
The Evil released when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was fulfilled. Graduon is a centuries-old evil wizard who was trapped inside a magic wand by the [[Cherokian Clan]]. In the 21st Century, he has forged an alliance with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and has secretly manipulated [[Silvana Rosechu]] to become his trannie rape weapon against the [[fail|heroic]] Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. He was supposedly destroyed in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], but Chris has stated that he would bring Graduon back in a later issue, and that he would have possessed Metal Sonichu.

===Golem===
A weapon used by [[Count Graduon]] after escaping from the Destiny Cave and joining forces with [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Upon learning that the Golem had attacked [[CWCville]], [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]],[[Wes-Li Sonichu]], and [[Saramah Rosechu]] teamed up to destroy it. Stolen from Sonic Adventure 2, where it originally appeared as a boss controlled by Eggman.

==[[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]==
===The Chaotic Combo===
{{main|Chaotic Combo}}

Five other Electric Hedgehog Pokémon spawned as eggs from the [[Rainbow]] that created Sonichu. Scattered throughout the region, they would eventually discover each other in common battle against Black Sonichu. They would form the central cast of ''Sonichu'' for the rest of the comic, outranking even the original Sonichu in the CWCville hierarchy.

===Wild Sonichu===
{{main|Wild Sonichu}}
[[Image:Wild parenting tips.jpg|thumb|left|Wild Sonichu, advising his one year old daughter on how best to mutilate a man's genitals.]]

The green recolor and a sort of leader to the group. Wild also partially rips off Spiderman. He was apparently raised by a clan of weird ninja Scythers and a Venusaur. Once his father was kidnapped, he forgot all about him.

Later in life he became another member of the Great Director's private army and he served as another footsoldier in the many battles against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and PVCC. During the middle of all this dumbfuckery, he attended a Dating Education class and got paired up with a mindless twit named [[Simonla Rosechu]]. Simonla was later killed, but fortunately for Wild, the [[Sandy Rosechu|bastard child]] which resulted from all sex he had with her [[Chris and art#Originality|looked almost exactly like Simonla in every single way]].

===Bubbles Rosechu===
{{main|Bubbles Rosechu}}
[[File:Iamnotretarded.jpg|thumb|Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that, Bubbles.]]

The sky-blue recolor and an airheaded slut. According to [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]], she was raised as a child by a random Swampert who happened to find her. One day, a Boulder-Dropping Whale randomly attacked her mother, and she forced herself to evolve so that she could save her. Some time later, she met the rest of the Combo when they all united under the common goal of beating up a [[Niggos|black guy]]. She does nothing for the rest of the comic besides fucking [[Blake]]. She finds a [[Sonichu Ball]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], if you can count that as doing something. Oh, and there was one point where she failed to tell the difference between [[Silvana|a trannie]] and her own boyfriend even when told the answer by a psychic.

Since everyone saw Bubbles as a stupid whore, she was portrayed as the idiot of the group in the webcomic [[Asperchu]]. Some time later, Christian established on her [[CWCipedia]] article that Bubbles was supposedly a very intelligent girl and had studied with the people of Atlantis. As you would expect, none of this was shown in the comics, and Bubbles still acts like a stupid whore.

===Angelica Rosechu===
{{main|Angelica Rosechu}}
[[Image:271-Angelica.jpg|thumb|left|Angelica, the embodiment of the Antichrist.]]

A white recolor. Angelica Rosechu was made to be a religious type, specifically a catholic. Her backstory explains that she was taken in by a convent of nuns, who raised her to be a devout Christian and named her Angelica after her resemblance of the biblical angels. Despite this, Angelica still grew up to be a filthy whore and a violent mercenary of [[CWCville]]. She eventually evolved one night in her sleep. Christian also [[Chris and writing|SOMEHOW]] knew who she was and that she had evolved, and showed up at her window to give her shoes and a scrunchie, which he left on her bed for her to find when she woke up. That's not creepy or anything.

She later became heavily entrenched in Christian's war against [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and the [[Jerkops]], and may very well have killed several people in the battle. This is pure speculation however. What isn't speculation though, was that she did, in fact, ''personally execute'' [[Alec Benson Leary]] in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]. After reading him the last rites of course. [[Chris and religion|Because you know, she's religious]]. She also said 'May God have mercy' whilst doing so. This may indicate that on some level she knows that what she is doing is wrong, but it's likely that she was referring to Alec, because like Chris, she also has a huge [[ego]], and genuinely believes that people should be killed for making [[parody]] webcomics. Like Bubbles, she is also a slut. She put out for Reginald Sneasel on the first date and she has been known to [[Media:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|do things in church that would make Jesus himself cry.]]

===Punchy Sonichu===
{{main|Punchy Sonichu}}

[[Image:272-ACPunchy.jpg|thumb|Punchy, the Asian one.]]
The red one. Punchy is not even a recolor. He is an exact duplicate of Knuckles the Echidna, who was already red. The only difference between them is that Punchy is far more retarded and has racist looking slanty eyes.

Punchy was born in a dojo somewhere after his egg crash landed there. Immediately after hatching, he was challenged to a sparring match by the Dojo owner's daughter and student, Mypoe, who [[Dragon Ball Z|ripped off his tail since it was a weakness]]. He then punched her through the roof and probably killed her. This is where his name came from. The dojo owner, [[Excel Saga|G.D.W. Shinabe]], then took it upon himself to train the infant murderer, and teach him how to properly use martial arts. This training was wasted on Punchy however, who just ended up using [[pokemon]] attacks for the rest of his life. Punchy later got caught up with the rest of the gang, and formed the Chaotic Combo with them. Shortly afterward, his master died under mysterious circumstances and he apparently inherited the dojo. Punchy then spent the rest of ''Sonichu'' fighting Jerkops and related enemies. He got a break from the routine in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], where he took the [[Dating Education]] courses to try and learn how best to hook up with Angelica. As it turned out, Angelica would have been easy, but due to circumstances, Punchy ended up with another whore named Layla Flaaffy. Since [[Women's rights|all women are the same in Sonichu]], Punchy just rolled with it and had sex with her anyway. He later also participated in the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] executions.

===Magi-Chan Sonichu===
{{main|Magi-Chan Sonichu}}
[[Image:Magichan-icon.jpg|thumb|left|When you turn your back, he's going to stab you.]]

The purple recolor. Magi-Chan was born in a mysterious cave where, upon hatching, he was contacted by the Pokémon Mewtwo, who trained him with his powers. Upon evolving into Magi-Chan, he promptly let out a fart. His training complete, Mewtwo left him and Magi-Chan would go on join the Chaotic Combo. Despite his awesome powers, Wild Sonichu was chosen over Magi-Chan as leader of the Chaotic Combo. It would be Magi-Chan who would serve as the means to locate the Sonichu Balls from their locations, accidentally causing Chris to be lost in the [[Time Void]]. He would also fight Silvana from time to time as he attempted to save her from Graduon. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], he frees Chris from the Time Void, goes into the future to bring the cure for homosexuality back to the present, but starts suffering due to that, yammering something about a crisis only Chris could avoid, failing to find a man high off his ass and failing to stop Evan and Simonchu from killing Simonla.

=== Sonee and Rosey ===
{{main|Sonee & Rosey}}

The (irritating) baby versions of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]], who appear on the first page of [[Sonichu 3|''Sonichu'' #3]]. Technically, baby versions of Sonichu and Rosechu could never exist since they were created directly from a Pikachu and Raichu respectively, but that didn't stop Chris from creating them. They never made a canon appearance, but Chris [[Recycling|recycled]] the designs for [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children]].

===Scyther===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[File:Scyther.jpg|thumb|200px|right|The Scyther who fathered Wild Sonichu. [[Chris and art|We think]].]]
For no obvious reason, a male Scyther assumed the role of [[Wild Sonichu]]'s father. Whether this is because it was screwing his Venusaur mother, or felt some obligation to help her raise Wild is unclear. The Scyther trained Wild in using his "Razor Leaf" attacks to cut down trees and such.

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], Wild told Sonichu and Rosechu of the last time he saw his adoptive father. According to Wild, his father was the leader of the "cut-sharp" clan of "Scyther and Scizor". At some point, the "Charmeleon Cult" burned down the dojo in the jungle that served as their headquarters. Wild joined his father on a mission to take [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|revenge]], but the Scyther was intercepted and captured by poachers instead. Wild cried like a bitch while the poachers loaded his dad in their van, then finally attempted to use his super powers to free him. The Scyther told him to stop, however, since he knew Wild was too much of a [[fail|failure]] to cut through the steel frame of the van. Wild's last memory of his father was of "the passing-of-the-torch look in his eyes".

===Venusaur===
{{main|Pokemon}}
[[File:Venusaur.jpg|thumb|200px|left|She has to put up with his retardation.]]
A female Venusaur in the jungle discovered [[Wild Sonichu]]'s egg and adopted him. As Wild inexplicably has retractable tentacles in his arms, the Venusaur trained him in using them to grasp objects.

===Swampert===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A female Swampert adopted [[Bubbles Rosechu]] upon discovering her egg on the beach. Unlike Wild's parents, the Swampert doesn't seem to have taught Bubbles much of anything, and the pair spent her childhood splashing in the water like idiots. This idyllic existence was brought to and end when a Wailord dropped a giant boulder on the Swampert for no apparent reason. Unable to rescue her mother in her immature Rosey body, Bubbles evolved into her Rosechu form, and somehow used an ice beam to save the Swampert from drowning.

While Bubbles continues to live on the beach, the Swampert has not been seen since her first appearance. This would suggest that at some point, the Wailord returned to finish the job.

=== Boulder-Dropping Whale ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Boulder_Whale.jpg|160px|thumb|left|The Boulder Dropping Whale's lone appearance in the comic.]]
As the name suggests, Boulder-Dropping Whale is a creature resembling a whale, who literally dropped a boulder. This signature attack was used against the Swampert who raised [[Bubbles Rosechu]], and would have drowned the Swampert if not for Bubbles's timely intervention. Although never named in the comic, the whale's anonymity and murderous hatred for ''Sonichu'' characters has earned him a cult following among [[trolls|fans]], who have dubbed him "Boulder-Dropping Whale", or "BDW" for short.
[[Image:Wailord.png|200px|thumb|An actual Wailord.]]
Originally identified as a common whale in the [[Audiobooks]], Chris stated in [[CWC Blog#12 January 2010|a blog in January 2010]] that it is a Wailord, a [[Pokémon]] that closely resembles a whale. This makes sense, as Chris always uses Pokémon when drawing background fauna in his comics (probably because he didn't pay attention during any of his biology classes in high school), such as the underwater scene in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] which featured only Pokémon sea creatures, and no naturally occurring wildlife. Further, BDW's trademark attack appears to resemble "Rock Tomb", an attack available to many Pokémon in the video games, including Wailord.

Nevertheless, the name "Boulder-Dropping Whale" has stuck, and no matter what his species, he remains a [[troll|fan]] favorite.

Chris also stated in the same blog that Boulder-Dropping Whale was in fact a Wailord, that he had been captured, and was currently being forced to fight the senseless battles of some random Pokémon trainer. The fans have disregarded this statement, standing firm in their belief that Boulder Dropping Whale currently resides on the moon with his Moon-Pals '''Bill''', '''Metal Sonichu''', and '''[[Yawning Squirtle]]''', getting high as fuck.

=== Nuns ===
[[Image:Schununs.jpg|thumb|"The Lord has sent us an egg, sister. Tonight, we'll have omelets"]]
The two nuns that raised [[Angelica]], even though ''real'' nuns would've burned that abomination the moment they set eyes on it. Their appearance shows us that Chris believes the stereotype that all nuns are white, kind-hearted old ladies. Like Angelica, they reinforce religious upbringing by using the words ''bless'' and ''Lord'' frequently.

In addition to raising Angelica and teaching her how to fly, the nuns also saved the eggshell she hatched from. Chris stated in the [[videobooks]] that "they saved the eggshell for memories," which seems to shine a light on how his family justifies hoarding so much stuff. As there only appear to be two nuns in their convent, and they seem to have no problem with adopting disgusting mutant sow-people, ''and'' they seem to encourage them to masturbate in their supposedly holy dwelling, it's possible that the nuns are actually adult fetish models, and their convent is actually the studio for some sort of kinky reality show.

===G.D.W. Shinabe===
[[Image:Shinabe.jpg|thumb|left|Let it never be said Chris has no respect for [[copyright]]. He at least advertises the stuff he rips off.]]
Also referred to as "Nabe-San", Shinabe is one of Chris's many horrible ''[[Excel Saga]]'' references. The anime's director, Shinichi Watanabe, created an alter ego of himself to use as one of the characters in the series. Naming his self-insertion "Nabeshin" (a play upon his own name), Watanabe utilized him not only as a supporting cast member, but also as a way to break the fourth wall and poke fun at the production of the anime. Nabeshin would be heavily featured again in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', a follow-up project to ''Excel Saga''.

In ''Sonichu'', Chris depicts Nabeshin as Shinabe (get it?), who teaches a bizarre form of martial arts and film-editing. He adopts [[Punchy Sonichu]] and trains him to become a "strike ninja" after Punchy murders his daughter Mypoe. The initials "G.D.W." stand for ''Great Director Watanabe'', a reference to "Great Teacher Onizuka", a manga about a high school teacher, often abbreviated "GTO". The "GDW" gag was used in ''Puni Puni Poemy'', and so Chris stole the joke and clumsily incorporated it into his rehash character's name.

If Christian's "Sonichu" article on [[CWCipedia]] is to be taken as canon, then Shinabe was murdered by an ex student seeking revenge for some reason ''during the middle of Punchy giving Chris a tour of the dojo''.

=== Mypoe ===
[[Image:Schumypoe.jpg|120px|thumb|A classic example of fanservice in ''Sonichu'']]
Mypoe is a loose knockoff of Poemy, the star of ''Puni Puni Poemy'', depicted as Nabeshin's adopted daughter. Chris reversed the syllables in her name, both of them (Poemy refers to herself as "Kobayashi" in the show, a reference to her voice actor, Yumiko Kobayashi. Chris blatantly rips this off with Mypoe calling herself "Byashiko"), and appears to have changed her appearance to resemble [[Excel Saga|Excel]] instead. Despite this, Chris claims that the [[lie|two characters are not related]].<ref>I_Am_The_TRUE,_Original_CCWC#A_history_.284:11_to_6:01.29</ref> In ''Sonichu'', Mypoe is a female student of Shinabe who challenged [[Punchy Sonichu]] to a battle moments after he hatched from his egg. During the fight, she tore Punchy's tail off his body, claiming that it was a ''weak point'', and should be removed (a concept stolen from [[Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball]]). The trauma apparently caused Punchy to evolve into his Sonichu form. In retaliation, Punchy attacks Mypoe with a Sky Uppercut, which sends her right out of the Dojo, through the roof. Unfazed by the apparent murder of his daughter, Shinabe adopts Punchy as his new star pupil.

Like all minor characters Mypoe is considered cool amongst the [[trolls|fans]]. She has a special place in their hearts due to being the only character that tried to put a Sonee out of its miserable existence shortly after birth.

=== Mewtwo ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

[[Image:Mewtwo.JPG|thumb|left|Mewtwo is not pleased with Chris.]]
A powerful, reclusive Pokémon genetically engineered from the DNA of the rare Mew, Mewtwo escaped from his creators and briefly plotted to conquer the world in the first Pokémon feature film. Mewtwo's dark, brooding nature and vast psychic abilities would serve as Chris's "inspiration" for [[Magi-Chan Sonichu]], whose egg hatched in the same cave Mewtwo lived in during the movie. As if the connection weren't blatant enough, Chris established that Mewtwo served as Magi-Chan's mentor, contacting him at birth via telepathy and teaching him to use his mental powers. Aside from his mental rapport with Mewtwo, Magi-Chan grew up completely isolated from the rest of the world. In a half-assed attempt to introduce him to civilization, Mewtwo projected memories of Jackie Chan films, other people's birthday parties, and various tourist attractions. Two weeks after Magi-Chan evolved into his Sonichu form, Mewtwo sent him out into the world, promising that they would one day meet face-to-face. As Chris has probably forgotten all about this, though, it'll probably never happen.

Christian has also notably claimed on the [[CWCipedia]] once that Reldnahc had a Mewtwo in his Pokemon team. It can be assumed that this is the same one.

===Flame the Sunbird===
{{main|Flame the Sunbird}}

Shameless ripoff of Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie who seems to be in dire need of pants. Flame is the guardian of the [[Legendary Master Sunstone]], and joined Sonichu and the Chaotic Combo in rescuing it from Black Sonichu. He would later be seen attending the Chaotic Combo's birthday party at the mall. It is emphasized that he is not a Pokemon, yet he readily uses Pokemon attacks, such as Drill Peck.

===Black Manajerk===
{{main|B-Manajerk}}

[[Image:Bmanajerk-oblivion.PNG|thumb|100px|Black Manajerk, the badass.]]
Chris's re-imagining of the McDonald's manager who interfered with his [[Love Quest]] at [[Mal-Wart]]. The B-Manajerk, along with his partner, [[Merried Seinor Comic]], confront Chris after the [[Jerkhief]] tells them about him. When Chris refuses to leave, they attack him with [[Mecha-Jerkops]], and Chris is aided by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]. As Darkbind handles the other foes, Chris battles B-Manajerk, and defeats his cybernetic armor with the powers of his [[Medallion]]. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention after Chris was sucked into the [[Time Void]].

[[Chris and race|And yes, the 'B' in B-Manajerk does stand for Black]].

===Merried Seinor Comic===
{{main|Merried Seinor Comic}}

Companion of [[B-Manajerk]], Merried Seinor Comic, also known as Kirby, is probably based on an older man who worked for the Wal-Mart which housed the McDonald's in which Chris was loitering that day. In ''Sonichu'', he is depicted as a cyborg with mechanical arms and legs. When he and B-Manajerk attack Chris, [[Darkbind Sonichu]] arrives to help, and dismantles Merried Seinor Comic with his superior swordsmanship. Their duel appears to have been a pathetic excuse for Chris to use Monty Python gags in his comic, with Merried Seinor Comic assuming the role of the Black Knight who refuses to admit defeat after losing his limbs.

===Wal-Mart Manajerk===
{{main|W-M-Manajerk}}

[[Image:W-M-Manajerk.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Truly an inspiration to us all.]]
The ruler of the [[Mal-Wart]] region, W-M-Manajerk confronts Chris shortly after [[B-Manajerk]] and [[Merried Seinor Comic]] are defeated. Like his henchmen, W-M is a cyborg, although he appears to be a head in a jar of life-sustaining fluid, affixed to an entirely robotic body. Far stronger than the other [[Manajerks]], W-M easily overpowers Chris, until he combines his [[Medallion]] with the [[Heart Torch of Fail]] to summon his "dream sibling", [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal Weston Chandler]]. Using their combined power, Chris and Crystal turn the tables against W-M, and send his disembodied head flying back to [[Mary Lee Walsh]], who sent him to menace Chris in the first place.

Particularly worrying was that according to dialogue, Chris and Crystal were surprised to learn he could survive in just his head form after they removed it from his body, implying that they had intended to murder the helpless man.

===Darkbind Sonichu===
{{main|Darkbind Sonichu}}

[[Image:081-Darkbind.jpg|130px|thumb|right|Dear Lord, he's even [[gay]]er than [[Magi-Chan]]!]]
Yet another Sonichu recolor, Darkbind is a rip off not only of Sonic and Pikachu, but Darkwing Duck and Link from the Legend of Zelda as well. In his first appearance, Darkbind comes to help Chris defeat the [[Manajerks]] at the [[Mal-Wart]] region, but leaves just before the [[W-M-Manajerk]] shows up to beat the shit out of Chris. Whoops.

Darkbind would later return to repel [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s invasion of [[CWCville]] in [[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]], and finally reveal that he has been searching for the seven [[Sonichu Balls]] to re-awaken his beloved [[Zelina Rosechu]]. He finally achieves this in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], and then starts crying.

===Mecha-Jerkops===
{{main|Mecha-Jerkops}}

Mechanical [[Jerkops]] used by the [[Manajerks]] to forcibly eject Chris from the Mal-Wart Region. The only two to appear were easily defeated by [[Darkbind Sonichu]], suggesting that they're actually far less formidable than flesh and blood Jerkops. One wonders what was the point was when actual Jerkops are far more capable and numerous.

==[[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]==
=== Crystal Weston Chandler ===
{{main|Crystal Weston Chandler (character)}}

Chris's imaginary sister. A virtual duplicate of Chris with the exception of being a female, she is created by the power of Chris's [[Pixelblock]] [[Heart Torch]], giving her sentience. Like Chris, she can become a Rosechu - Crystalina Rosechu - through her own medallion. She later spends half of the comic trapped away in a [[Dark Mirror Hole|mirror]] before being rescued as an afterthought.

=== Snorlax ===
{{main|Pokemon}}

A [[Snorlax]] who briefly appeared in Christian's 'Backyard Safari' [[Sub-Episode]], a documentary about [[Jerkops]] designed specifically to insult them. He comments at one point that a [[Jerkhief]] weighs [[Obesity|over 1500 pounds]] and can be identified by its [[The Creepy Stare|glassy eyes]] and wooden badge. [[Chris and hypocrisy|How ironic for Chris to be saying such things about Jerkops]].

The Snorlax appears at the bottom of the page as an illustration, since Christian had commented in a paragraph that the Jerkhief was heavier than a Snorlax.

=== ScotPalazzo ===
{{main|ScotPalazzo}}

ScotPalazzo is the [[Manajerk]] of Fa-Square, from the Sho-Mall Region. He is based on the manager who called the [[Jerkhief]] on Chris in real life, though he did not appear in ''Sonichu'' until Sub-Episode 6, where he for some reason became jealous that Chris had his own TV show; CWC's Backyard Safari. He decided once he was done watching it to order more Jerkops after Chris, since he was once again persisting to [[Love Quest|solicit sex in a public place]] and was still [[Story of my current days|resisting arrest]]. Or at least, that would be the [[Honest|truthful]] reason. In ''Sonichu'', however, it's because he hates love, since it caused his mother's murder suicide somehow. It's likely that the real ScotPalazzo's mother did no such thing, but Chris for some reason thinks that [[Trolls|anyone who dislikes him]] at all must have terrible and tragic lives, since [[Chris and his ego|only people with no life could ever possibly hate Chris]]! That said, ScotPalazzo is probably the only villain in Sonichu, at least until [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], to have any kind of motivation, so no one's complaining. ScotPalazzo also attended Mary's villain convention after Chris was lost to the [[Time Void]].

=== Turdijerk ===
{{main|Turdijerk}}

Turdijerk is the Manajerk of the [[Get-Tar]] region. He appears in Sub-Episode 7, where he tells Chris to get out of his store because he is loitering on private property again and scaring off his customers. Unlike with previous cases where he has provoked Manajerks into a fight, this time Chris just attacked them outright after they asked him to leave. Not caring for being assaulted by loitering manchildren, Turdijerk calls [[Bagget|Marcus Bagget]] to come and deal with the potentially dangerous Chris before he attacks any more of his employees. He also later attended [[Mary Lee Walsh]]'s villain convention.

=== Trebor Capman ===
{{main|Trebor Capman}}

Turdijerk's assistant and the second victim of Christian's unwarranted attack on the store manager. It can be assumed that his real name is Robert, given Chris's legendary love for [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc|reversing names]]. He was also present at the villain convention with his boss Turdijerk.

=== Marcus Bagget ===
{{main|Bagget}}

{{Incomplete}}

=== Crackder ===
{{main|Crackder}}

{{Incomplete}}

==[[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]==
===William Spicer===
The husband of Sarah Hammer. Because Chris had no clue as to what William actually looked like, Chris depicted him as a Jack's Knight, a card from the ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card game franchise.

===Megan Schroeder (Meg-Chan)/Sailor Megtune===
{{main|Megan Schroeder|Sailor Megtune}}
Chris's second love interest. Based off of the actual Megan Schroeder, she moonlights as a Sailor Senshi, devoted to aiding Chris whenever he can't get off his own fat rear to do so. She quickly leaves the series after her real life counterpart gives Chris the boot in the aftermath of his ED discovery.

===Megagi La Skunk===
{{main|Megagi La Skunk}}
Megan's skunk companion. Starting out as a butch, tomboyish character with more personality than the rest of the rosechus, she loses this personality as she gains a boyfriend in Bionic, devolving into a cheerleader by Issue 9.

===Harriet, Joseph, Julia, Nick===
Couples harrassed by Jerkops.

===Jamsta Sonichu===
{{main|Jamsta Sonichu}}

DJ for KCWC and one of the few Sonichus shown that weren't created by the Chaotic Rainbow. He has no obvious powers and speaks in outdated slang. Interestingly, Jamsta's the actual ORIGINAL Sonichu, yet he wasn't discovered and named until later, giving Sonichu all the credit.

===CWCVille Constable===
One of the few non-Jerkops in CWCVille.

===CADD Chef (alias Keneru-Meneth)===
{{main|CADD Chef}}

Another one of Slaweel's minions who only complains about building designs. The character is based off of Chris's Computer-Aided Drafting and Design and the South Park character Chef.

==[[Sonichu 6|''Sonichu'' #6]]==

===Patti-Chan===
{{Main|Patti Chandler|Patti-Chan}}

Chris's beloved dog. As her twilight years prepared to come to an end, a combination of eating a four-leaf clover and moonbeams transformed Patti into Patti-Chan. Realizing what had happened, Chris brought his dog to CWCVille so it can live on forever. She uses her magic to protect the Mayor's office in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], then kills Alec in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] because "she's not a zombie."

===Allison Amber===
{{main|Allison Amber}}

Chris's mayoral secretary. Once a prominent Hollywood star, she gave up the fame and fortune to work in the CWCVille Mayor's office. When Chris is cast into the Time Void, Allison takes over until his complete return. In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], she kills Sean for his promiscuous depiction of her in ''Moon-Pals''.

===Shadow the Hedgehog===
{{main|Shadow the Hedgehog|Christian & The Hedgehog Boys}}

The Ultimate Life Form created by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, this [[stress|angst-filled]] hedgehog is the focal point of a number of Sonic games made in the mid-2000s and is the inspiration of Blake. Despite not appearing in the comics proper, Shadow DOES make an appearance in an ad for Christian and the Hedgehog Boys' solo album.

===Zelina Rosechu===
{{main|Zelina Rosechu}}

Darkbind Sonichu's love interest. She is put under a spell through the locked power of the Sonichu Crystals prior to the start of the series. She's awakened and turns out to be the same as all the other vapid Rosechus in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]].

===Clawdorf===
{{main|Clawdorf}}

Darkbind Sonichu's deadly foe. After putting Zelina into a deep sleep, he is accidentally turned into stone and left in a cave. He is presumed freed by Ultra Sonichu.

===Bionic the Hedgehog===
{{main|Bionic the Hedgehog}}

Chris's first creation before Sonichu came into play. Thought up of after getting smacked with a Sonichu Crystal (later altered to be a basketball), Bionic became Chris's first creation. He would go into obscurity until Naitsirhc arrived on the scene, knocking out the villain with a basketball. He would soon fall in love with Megagi and go and aid Chris in his adventures, culminating in Bionic electrocuting Alec.

==[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]==

===Mighty the Armadillo===

Mistakenly spelled "Mighty the Arm'''or'''dillo" by Chris, Mighty is a supporting character from the [[Sonic The Hedgehog]] video games, including "Knuckles Chaotix" and "SegaSonic The Hedgehog". Due to his relative obscurity and passing resemblance to more popular Sonic characters, Mighty may be misidentified by ''Sonichu'' readers as another one of Chris's crappy "original" characters.

When Chris travels back in time to relive the moment he "created" [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], he recalls that he would often imagine Sonic characters acting out scenes in the books he read. According to Chris, he was reading a "Fear Street" novel by R.L. Stine, imagining Mighty as one of the characters, when he was struck on the head by a basketball, and at the same moment, imagined an orange version of Sonic emerging from a locker door where Mighty was standing.
 

===Sammy===
{{main|Sammy}}

A "fat, stupid" version of Chris utilized for the "Family Guy Skitch" featured in Episode 15. In a typical ''[[Family Guy]]'' style aside, Chris recalls a fictional memory of himself in an embarrassing situation, bearing a strong resemblance to Peter Griffin. Later, this same alternate version of Chris appears to speak with the real Chris, who identifies the character as Sammy, who merely "played" Chris in his memory. Sammy is a beloved figure to trolls, as he is ironically a far more accurate caricature of Chris than the skinnier version who actually stars in the comic.
 

===Skelevision and Ghost Buggy===
{{main|Ghostbusters}}

Items used by the Filmation Ghostbusters in their adventures. Sammy busts through them in his "Family Guy Skitch" in his confused state.

===Kellie Andes===
{{main|Kellie Andes}}

One of Chris's old classmates and one of his old high school crushes. She appears in Episode 15, discovering Chris's nude picks and is revealed to have warned Rosechu in Episode 17. Interestingly, she is one of the few who ''doesn't'' get a retconned name change.

===Bender Bending Rodreiguez===
{{main|Futurama}}

A lazy self-absorbed robot who gets his kicks off of robbing people, getting drunk and all around being lazy, especially with his friend Philip J. Fry. Doesn't ''that'' sound like someone we know. Bender is seen spiraling through the time stream as Chris, Sonichu and Magi-Chan travel on.

===Joseph Herring===
{{main|Joseph Herring}}

One of the many people affected by Slaweel's attacks, this pimply faced man, later renamed Joe Herr, is seen lamenting about the loss of his girlfriend. The character is based off of a man by the same name who actually looked pretty decent.

===Beavis and Butt-Head===
{{main|Beavis and Butt-Head}}

MTV's legendary icons for all things 1990, Beavis and Butt-Head were two idiotic teens who got their kicks through destruction, pervert antics and all around being complete and utter idiots. And America ''mostly'' loved them. They show up in Episode 16 slamming a locker door, mimicking a scene from one of their shorts.

===Janekops===
[[Image:Janekops.jpg|thumb|100px|You have the right to remain ''sexayyyyy'']]

Female [[Jerkops]]. Chris suggested the possibility of female Jerkops in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]], by describing a "Hypno-gun" the Jerkops use to transform retarded people into new Jerkops. Presumably, then, any Janekop would be a female victim of such a weapon. Jerkops with tits would be seen standing guard at [[PVCC]] in issue #7, so these are most likely the same Janekops Chris suggested earlier.

===Jason Kendrick Howell===
{{main|Jason Kendrick Howell}}

The head of 4-cent_garbage, Jason Kendrick Howell is the bald-headed, eye-patch wearing cause of Chris's torment in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]. Based off of the person by the same name whom Chris believes put up the Chris-Chan ED page, Jason is shown as apathetic to Sonichu's pleas before he launches a pickle at Rosechu, causing her to transform into the [[Incredible Lioness]] and face rape him. He would return in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], only to decide he was going to retire from trolling Chris because tormenting him is WRONG.

===Kathleen===
{{main|Kathleen}}

Kathleen is Jason's "woman slave", seen wearing an odd BDSM outfit and in a crawling position. She stays ever faithful by Jason's side throughout the whole thing. She is based off the woman by the same name, who was Jason's girlfriend at the time.

===Blanca===
{{main|Blanca}}

The first of many troll gal-pals to appear in the comics. Blanca was the creator of Jiggliami and was present at the interview with Jamsta. In issue 8, however, it's revealed that she went back to Kentucky to be with her boyfriend.

===Jiggliami===
{{main|Jiggliami}}

Blanca's creation, an odd fusion of Amy Rose and a Jigglypuff. She is a songstress who's seeking to become popular. She appears in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] with an interview with Jamsta and in a Spring Break concert in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], helping the Chaotic Combo before disappearing forever.

===Lolisa Rosechu===
{{main|Lolisa Rosechu}}

Jamsta's assistant on his radio show. Oddly, she is also the oldest Rosechu of the bunch, but because this is Chris's comic, she is conveniently shoved aside so that Rosechu is the first, thus named after her.

===Robert Simmons V===
{{main|Robert Simmons V}}

Another troll who made his way into the comic as a major fan of the comics. In [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], he appears at Jiggliami's interview. However, after Chris learned the truth of the man, he retconned it in his [[Videobooks]] by saying he was arrested for getting too close to Chris.

==[[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]]==

===Lovey and Thurston Howell III===
{{main|Lovey Howell|Thurston Howell III}}
[[Image:Howells.jpg|thumb|200px|The "S" in "Sonichu" stands for "Subtlety".]]

In [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]], [[Christian Weston Chandler]] sought to humiliate his arch-nemesis [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] with a scathing [[parody]] of [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. In a feeble attempt to be coy, Chris refrained from identifying Howell in the comic right away, instead referring to him only as Jason, followed by a clever cameo appearance to hint at his last name. Since no [[anime]] or ''[[Family Guy]]'' characters are named "Howell", this forced Chris to delve into legitimate pop culture, and soon he found '''Thurston Howell III''' and '''Lovey Howell''', the elitist millionaire couple on the classic TV series ''Gilligan's Island''. Chris is probably blissfully unaware that the joke will probably sail very far over the heads of his target demographic, and he's also unaware that there are countries on GodJesus's green earth where the show hasn't aired for decades. Or ever.

Appearing outside the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building, Thurston chides Lovey for forgetting her purse, to which Lovey explains that she had grown used to neglecting it from their time stranded upon the island. Chris then challenges the reader to guess Jason's last name, a pointless exercise, as Chris had already mentioned "Jason Kendrick Howell" several times on his [[Sonichu (website)|website]], [[YouTube]] videos, and anywhere other public forum available to him in [[2008]].

===Beel===
{{main|Beel}}

The secretary at 4-cent_garbage, he is a devil-like creature with the [[homos|gayest]] pants ever. He shows up briefly in Episode 17, but is more prominently shown in Episode 21, stealing Chris's medallion, before having it teleported away, then blasted to kingdom come. He returns just in time to berate Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus over their trolling of Chris (comparing it to working with Adolf Hitler) before disappearing.

===4-cent_garbage.com employees===
{{main|4-cent_garbage}}

The workers of 4-cent_garbage. They are busy trolling people get getting drunk off their ass. Chris reappears to briefly sock one of them in the face. In Episode 21, Chris returns fully and destroys the building, kill about 100 of the employees.

===George W. Bush===
{{main|George W. Bush}}

42nd President of the United States and son of the 40th President, George H. W. Bush, he saw his highs of popularity from the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 attacks]] plummet after he initiated the War in Iraq. He is depicted in the elevator gag tipping over his successor off his ladder.

===Barack Obama===
{{main|Barack Obama}}

43rd President of the United States and first [[niggo|African-American president]]. Obama is depicted in the elevator gag attempting to paint the White House black, but is stopped by Bush.

===John McCain===
{{main|John McCain}}

Obama's opponent in the 2008 elections and former US Senator. He yells at Obama for painting the White House black.

===Hilary Clinton===
{{main|Hillary Clinton}}

New York Senator, former First Lady to 41st President Bill Clinton and one of Obama's opponents in the spot for Democratic nominee for President. She's present as Obama paints the White House

===Sarah Palin===
{{main|Sarah Palin}}

Former Alaskan governor, John McCain's running mate and all-around gullible bag of bricks. This "bulldog with lipstick" was present as Obama painted the White House.

===Simonla Rosechu===
{{main|Simonla Rosechu}}

Wild Sonichu's fuck toy, Simonla Rosechu is the unholy monstrosity created when Chris took Simonchu Sonichu, a creation by [[Evan]] (who in turned based it off of Simon the Digger of ''Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann'') and gave it breasts and china. Simonla first appears when she joins the other Rosechus in "stripping for [[Women's Rights]], introducing her friend Zapina. She's later paired up with Wild in Dating Education before aiding said Sonichu in defending CWCVille from Slaweel's attack. However, Simonla would meet her demise by a Voltorb blowing itself up, killing her ''on the toilet''.

===Zapina Rosechu===
{{main|Zapina Rosechu}}

A young Rosechu who's friends with Simonla. She first appears, joining the other Rosechus in wanting to strip for Women's Rights, but Rosechu shoots down that idea because of the "dumb laws". She is later seen defending CWCVille from Slaweel and her minions.

===Greta Squall===

News anchor for "[[Excel Saga|FQX]] News". Covered CWCville's 2008 Spring Break celebration on location, and became so overcome with the festivities that she stripped down to a swimsuit and leaped into a pool. Horribly disfigured, her face bears several scars, each shaped like the numeral "2", and her arms are swollen to abnormal size, possibly due to localized gigantism.

===Silvana Rosechu===
{{main|Silvana Rosechu}}

Another missing Rosechu, she was found on [[The Motherfucking Moon]] by Count Graduon and turned evil, giving her shapeshifting powers and a [[duck|penis]]. She appears in Episode 18, fucking Blake disguised as Bubbles before being driven off. She appears again in Episode 20, fighting Magi-Chan and appears one last time, disguising herself as a malformed Meg Griffin. According to Chris, Silvana would lose her powers and dick when Graduon's staff was shattered and she would soon fall in love with Magi-Chan.

===Yawning Squirtle===
{{main|Yawning Squirtle}}

A Squirtle that is seen yawning and given a very stoned look. Many trolls took it that the Squirtle was actually high off of weed and ran with it. In retaliation, Chris mentioned that this Squirtle was actually an old friend of Bubbles and that it was also captured and not shot to the moon.

===Sea Pokemon===

Comprised of [[Mudkips]], [[Seadra]], [[Goldeen]], [[Staryu]], [[Corsola]], [[Octillery]], [[Mantine]], and [[Corphish]].

===Optimus Prime===
{{main|Optimus Prime}}

Supreme Commander of the Autobots and hero of the Transformers franchise. He is considered to be one of Chris's idols. However, he is depicted in Issue 8 as a grand hero (or a murderer, however you want to look at it), killing Decepticon spy Sarah Jackson.

===Sarah Jackson===
{{main|Sarah Jackson}}

One of Chris's sweethearts and Decepticon spy. She is given a memorial by depicting the heroic Optimus Prime running down her truck in his truck form.

===Sarah Cassandra McKenzie (aka Panda Halo)===
{{main|Sarah Cassandra McKenzie|Panda Halo}}

The third of Chris's gal-pals. She is given a shout out in Issue 8, only to be depicted dying in an a fire in Issue 9.

==[[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]]==

===Sarah Jackaras===

Sarah Jackson's second comic persona. She is depicted as a teacher for Chris's demented Dating Education class, and killed off at the end of the episode.

===George Philip===

A kid in Dating Education. He resembles Kenny from ''[[South Park]]''.

===Layla Flaaffy===
{{main|Layla Flaaffy}}

Ivy's animal companion (though she looks NOTHING like a Flaaffy). She ends up hooking up with Punchy in Episode 19 and is shown one last time blasting away a bunch of Jerkops with a Thunder attack in Episode 20.

===Ivy===
{{main|Ivy}}

The last of the real-life sweethearts to show up in the ''Sonichu'' comics (excluding the specials). She ends up having a vision where God and Jesus tell her that she is to be Chris's one true love. Doesn't last too long as she is strangled by elevator wire in Episode 20.

===Reginald Sneasel===
{{main|Reginald Sneasel}}

Chris's latest Mary Sue character to fill in for him while he is still trapped in the Time Void. He despises [[Niggo|darkies]] and attempts to break up Punchy and Layla only for Angelica to feel sorry for him and be his [[Sweetheart|girlfriend]].

===God/Jesus===
{{main|God/Jesus}}

Our Creator and our Lord and Savior. They appear in a vision to let Ivy know that she and Chris were meant to be. However, since Ivy dies in the next episode, it's hard not to imagine they were trolling the two in the process.

===Florance Fisher===
[[Image:SchuFlorence.jpg|100px|thumb|Florance Fisher]]

One of the few [[Niggos|black]] characters in ''Sonichu'' that isn't evil. She is rejected by Reginald, mirroring Chris's own refusal to date a black woman. Crudely resembles ''South Park'''s art style, and was probably traced.

===Rita Jackaras===

Sarah's sister. She replaces Sarah after she reveals that she had died... and instead of mourning, they get right back into their studies.

===Other students===

Comprised of:
*Amy Testa
*Clem Jennings
*Geraldine
*Fred Shiflet
*Emily Ryan
*Unnamed computer-lab attendant
*Clyde Raymond Cwash- Scored the lowest on the dating test. Possible stab at [[Clyde Cash]]

===Scoundrals [sic] as Vessels===
{{main|Scoundrals As Vessels}}

Evil PVCC Decepticons, they're mass produced and act as heavy-duty attackers. Repaint of Swindle from ''Transformers Animated''

===Samurai Pizza Bots===
{{main|Samurai Pizza Bots}}

CWCVille's main machine protectors and obvious Autobot rejects. This team is comprised of:
*[[Prower]] - Punchy's motorcycle, recolor of Samurai Prowl from ''Transformers Animated''
*[[Son-Chu]] - Chris's gay ass car with a "SONICHU" vanity plate
*[[Bumble-Lumba]] - recolor of Bumblebee from ''Transformers Animated''. Also a pizza delivery car.
*[[Excelina]] - recolor of R.C. from ''Revenge of the Fallen''.
*[[Armoraxe]] - recolor of Sound Wave from ''Transformers Animated''. Even has a guitar as a weapon.

===Blazebob Sonichu and Chloe Rosechu===
{{main|Blazebob Sonichu|Chloe Rosechu}}

Both were created by [[PandaHalo]]. <ref>From the CWCipedia "Sonichu" page, under "Sonichu's Evolution" ''"Fire Stone = Blazebob Sonichu (to be Introduced soon in Episode 20 with Chloe Rosechu; both were fabricated by late Loyal Sonichu/Rosechu Fan and True Australian Gal-Pal, PandaHalo. She died in the brushfires of Australia April, 2009; she will always have a place in my heart with her singing of "Lift Up Your Eyes" from PlanetShakers)."''</ref> They are saved by Panda before her gruesome death and start bawling at her death before a firefighter tells them to move their asses.

===IBAChandler===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The ''Sonichu'' variation of Liquid Chris. This ground-type Sonichu is easily curb-stomped by Sonichu before he can really get the chance to attack. It's said that Liquid's medallion was made out of paper.

===Cerah, Christine, and Robbie===
{{main|Sonichu and Rosechu's Children}}

The demonic crotchfruit of Sonichu and Rosechu. Robbie is known for his screechy voice and [[speech impediment]], Christine is known for being [[Chris and his ego|self-absorbed]] and "shiny" (read: not really Sonichu's), and Cerah is known for absolutely nothing at all. All are equally abominable in the eyes of the Lord. These three simply show up at the end of the comic with only one extremely minor mention prior to then, and their births have never been shown. It is extremely likely that these three were created in response to trolls pointing out that Sonichu and Rosechu were having premarital underage sex.

==[[Sonichu 10| ''Sonichu'' #10]]==

===Bugs Bunny===
[[Image:Bugsbunny.jpg|thumb|Bugs, enjoying what appears to be a joint.]]

A beloved American cartoon icon for decades, representative of the wacky World War II propaganda cartoons and the early 20th century vaudeville theater, '''Bugs Bunny''' appeared briefly in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to scold [[Jimmy Hill]] for his [[Parody|infringement]] upon [[Sonichu]]'s [[Chris and Copyright|copyright]]. This is a subtle reference to Mr. Hill's conviction over bootlegging Warner Bros. merchandise in Europe years earlier.

===Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez===
[[Image:geraldandlouie.JPG|thumb|Constables Gerald (left) and Louis, with firm friend [[Sonichu]].]]

Two of [[CWCville]]'s policemen (true blue, not [[Jerkops]]) who show up in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] to apprehend [[Inos]]. Despite this being their first appearance, they are shown as good friends of [[Sonichu]].

Gerald is the white officer, with a strong chin resembling Quagmire of ''[[Family Guy]]''. He takes a [[Pedofork|particular interest]] in Sonichu's son [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|Robbie]].

Louis is the [[Niggos|black officer]] - Chris has confirmed that his addition was affirmative action in [[Mailbag_50#And_in_closing...|Mailbag 50]]. He greets Sonichu with a hearty "MY BRO!" and a fist-bump. Chris is clearly pulling out all the stops to achieve a diverse and nuanced cast. Sonichu in turn inquires about his wife and "[[duck|little Lou]]"; they are reportedly "just chillin'".

It is worth noting that the office of Constable is no longer used in [[Virginia]], calling into question the legitimacy of their authority. It is also worthy of note that Louis Perez could be named after the character from the Saw franchise (possibly a relative, as Lindsey Perez from the movies is female). Chris has previously stated, that the Saw series is one of his favorite movie franchises in one of the Mailbags. Both characters are black policemen, making the "inspiration" much more likely. Constable Lou may also be connected to Sergeant Lou of [[The Simpsons]], which would make Gerald Officer Eddie.

===The Asperpedia Four===
[[Image:Maoalecevansean.jpg|thumb|The Asperpedia Four on trial. (clockwise from the top: Mao, Alec, Evan, Sean)]]

The main users of the Asperpedia. They are arrested and executed by Chris and the others for their roles in the death of Simonla. The four are:

*[[Alec Benson Leary]] - the creator of Asperchu. Is attacked off screen by the pseudo Chaotic Combo and Mitch Sonichu for "giving them Asperger's and drawing them SOOOO horribly." Is electrocuted by Chris and the Chaotic Combo.
*[[Evan]] - Simonchu's creator. Is castrated and drilled to death by Sandy and Wild.
*[[Sean August Watley]] - Creator of Moon-Pals. Is shot to death by Allison, Bill the Scientist, and Kel.
*[[Asperpedia|Mao]] - Asperpedia admin. Is [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|broken]] and killed by Chris.

Chris would, in an attempt to appear like a less psychotic human being, make a new ending for Sonichu 10, wherein the Asperpedia is condemned to live in a Amish community for the rest of their lives, which results in them becoming a bunch of [[slow-in-the-minds]] who spew [[random-access humor]].

===Sackboy===
{{main|Little Big Planet}}

The mascot and main character of the ''Little Big Planet'' game franchise. He appears in issue 10 to tell readers not to buy unauthorized copies of ''LBP'' for the [[Hex Box]].

===Jimmy Hill===
{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

Famed former soccer player turned commentator who was used as part of a trolling scheme against Chris. He is depicted in Issue 10 getting his teeth knocked out by Chris-Chan Sonichu's Hyper Beam before being scolded by Bugs Bunny.

===Clyde Cash===
{{main|Clyde Cash}}

Infamous troll who helped inspire many others. In actuality, Clyde's first appearance was in "[[Sonichu Special 1]]", capturing Ivy and trying to kill both Chris and Ivy when they escape. In issue 10, he's depicted as a panicking man as the 4-cent_garbage building began falling. Unwilling to let Chris kill him, he takes the hand of his lover, Jack Thaddeus, and leap to his death.

===Jack Thaddeus===
{{main|Jack Thaddeus}}

Person who owned the ads at the CWCkipedia and forced Chris to hump his [[PS3|Life Upgrade]]. He is depicted as another panicking man in the 4-cent_garbage building. He joins his lover, Clyde Cash, in leaping to their deaths, unwilling to let Chris have his victory.

===Meg Griffin===
{{main|Meg Griffin}}

Middle child of the fictional Griffin family, usually depicted as being ignored and humiliated by her family and just about everyone else. In Issue 10, she was a disguise by Silvana, who appeared, told Chris how awesome he was, shared a kiss with him, then disappeared. Worst troll ever.

===Asperchu/Mitch Sonichu===
{{main|Asperchu}}

Star of Alec Benson Leary's comic of the same name. When Ultra Sonichu appears, he takes away his personality and Asperger's and transforms him into Mitch Sonichu (and Chris expected Alec to follow suit).

===Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)===
{{main|Chaotic Combo (Asperchu)}}

Formerly the Asperchu versions of Sonichu, Punchy, Bubbles, Angelica, Wild and Magi-Chan. Ultra Sonichu appears and removes their "Asperger's" (despite none of them actually having the condition) and gives them new identities of Michael Sonichu, Bobby Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Trisha Rosechu, Whisp Sonichu and Swift Sonichu.

===Metal Asperchu===

A robot Asperchu created to find and collect the seven [[Sonichu Balls|Chaos Pickles]]. Is destroyed by the pseudo Chaotic Combo.

===Basement Rosechus===
{{main|Basement Rosechus}}

A set of Rosechus found in Alec's basement, malnourished and injured. Many had believed that Chris portrayed them as being raped by Alec, which Chris tried furiously to deny.

===Inos===
{{main|Inos}}

A homeless man discovered by Ultra Sonichu. To his horror, Inos is discovered with a five year cold and under the influence of weed. Ultra Sonichu steals his weed away then has the police slap his wrist.

===Simonchu===
{{main|Simonchu}}

The main hero of [[Evan]]'s Simonchu comics and Wild's lover in Asperchu. He attempts to kill his evil clone Simonla, but is stopped by Magi-Chan.

===Toilet Exploding Voltorb===
[[Image:Toiletexplodingvoltorb.png|thumb|Simonla's killer.]]

The Pokemon that kills Simonla with Self-Destruct.

===Sandy Rosechu===
{{main|Sandy Rosechu}}

The bastard child of Wild and Simonla. She is forced to be evolved by Wild and is trained by different Pokemon just so she can ''tear Evan's genitals out.''

===Judge Slack Lewis===

The judge presiding the case of the Asperpedia Four. He has an obvious bias towards Chris and allows everything that goes on. He may or may not be a rip-off of [[wikipedia:Lewis Black|Lewis Black]], a comedian who would likely rage at Chris and the comic.

===Marvey Blaziken===

A shameless ripoff of Harvey Birdman, except with a Blaziken instead of a Bird. Serves as the Prosecutor for the Asperpedia Four's trial. Marvey is clearly a personification of [[Chris and the Law|Chris's poor understanding of the American legal system]] as he is able to win the case with no evidence beyond "they drew bad comics". He also appears at the end of the comic to be Chris's Mouthpiece against fans for having the AUDACITY to want semi-regular updates.

=="[[Sonichu Special 2]]"==

===Ching Chong===
[[Image:SchuComicSP2P4.jpg|thumb|It is said that perfect wedding days can feel like sweet blissful happy blur for everybody. Ching Chong certainly feels that way, but not in the usual sense... ''she was told about "recycling".'']]

A small [[China|Chinese]] girl that Ivy tutored in [[Chris and art|art]]. Ching Chong became mentally scarred for life due to her witnessing a video of Chris drinking his own "[[Semen|Navy]]" while innocently browsing the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] website. Chris offered [[Chris and remorse|formal excuses]] to her in a [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|Captain's Log video]]. In the comic she appears as the flower girl.

===Other Characters===
*[[Keino]] - Ivy's dad
*[[Crass and Champ]] - Ivy's hermit crabs which are ring bearers

*'''Canino Houndhowl''' - receptionist for wedding, a creation of [[Megan]] that Chris ripped off
*[[Metal Gear Solid | Gecko and Mantis]], a pair of Raptor Chefs.
*'''Lilith''' - A Meowth who is a bridesmaid
*'''Rachel''' - Ivy's best friend, the maid of honor
*CWCville Baptist Church Pastor
*[[My Little Pony]]
*'''[[MEOW|Spas]]''' - a feline pianist
{{clear}}

==[[Sonichu Special 4]]==
===CChanSonichuCWC===
{{main|CChanSonichuCWC}}

The real Christian Weston Chandler. Here, he is displayed as a knife-wielding madman who wants to cut up Kacey for... no real reason. Ian responds by disarming him then blowing out his shins.

===Kacey===
{{main|Kacey}}
Girlfriend of the real Chris and damsel in distress in the comic.

===Megatron===
{{main|Megatron}}
Seeing as the comic already depicted Optimus Prime mowing down evil, it's only natural that his eternal nemesis and leader of the Decepticons Megatron strike fear into the hearts of those who do good. He aids Ian by shooting an unarmed Chris in the legs.

===Kacey's Family===
All are thankful to [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] for shooting the unarmed Real Chris in the legs. Her family is comprised of:
**[[Father_Call|Matt Devoria]] - Kacey's father who looks like Guile from Street Fighter 2. (Hates Ian in real life and doesn't want them to marry.)
**Kacey's mother
**Kacey's brother
**Kacey's sister - Says Ian is a "hot man" and Liquid Chris is a "[[CChanSonichuCWC#Irony|geeky twerp]]"

==Sauce==
<references />

{{Sonichu}}
[[Category: Sonichu]] [[Category: Lists]] [[Category:Characters]]

User talk:SherwinKing

2010-11-17T18:22:07Z

Miss Noel: /* I AM NOT CHRIS OR A TROLL */

I sense a troll or a white knight. But... why do I get the hunch this might be Chris himself? --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 06:40, 17 November 2010 (PST)
*It's got the tardcaps, but I dunno. I doubt Chris would, even in alias, approve of a third-party fan work. My money goes for ShamanKing thinking he's the next Alec.[[User:Torchwood|Torchwood]] 06:43, 17 November 2010 (PST)

*Albert Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So it could be Chris. I'm sure it's just a would be troll though. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 06:42, 17 November 2010 (PST)

*This guy just recently edited the [[Chris]] page to make it less offensive about Chris, just like when he was GodofthunderGodofwar or whatever he was when he was here. But it wasn't as self-serving; it was changed to say things such as "unfortunately, his childish artwork", as if the author's intent was to bring pity. I highly doubt Chris could be this clever, but then again, we may not know.

--[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 06:46, 17 November 2010 (PST)

*Lets just see where this progresses, as long as we get an entertaining saga out of it I am happy. [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 07:37, 17 November 2010 (PST)

*Oh, for fuck's sake, he copied the page and put it on his user page. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 07:49, 17 November 2010 (PST)

==Let me Clear this up for you guys==

This guy is not Chris. Chris acts differently. This guy wants us to think he's Chris. He's an attention whore. Wait for him to get banned or something and move on. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 08:39, 17 November 2010 (PST)

== I AM NOT CHRIS OR A TROLL ==

I am not Chris-chan or a troll or trying to be the next Alec. I am just a fan of Sonichu that wants to get his fan website known about.

If this is really a Wiki documenting all about Chris-chan then it should not just relate to things that trolls do to him, but things that fans of his comic have done too.

I do not have a lot of content on my site right now, but when I start uploading my art, as well as my very own comic, I believe that my website will be a very worthy candidate for something to be documented on this Wiki.
*Sonichu fans don't exist. Obvious newfag is obvious. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 09:55, 17 November 2010 (PST)

*Hmm... tard-caps, unwarranted self importance, being a fan of something that has no fanbase... Sounds like a fake account of Chris's to me! Seriously, Sonichu was complete and utter shit, the comic is over, and anybody that claims to like it is completely retarded. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 10:14, 17 November 2010 (PST)
**Yep, none of those traits are obvious or easily emulated at all! This guy isn't acting like Chris, he's acting like what a newfag would think Chris is. This isn't the first time someone has done this, and every fucking time, someone wants to jump on the boat of retardation by claiming it's Chris when it isn't. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 10:17, 17 November 2010 (PST)
***We can still agree it's all utterly retarded. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 10:22, 17 November 2010 (PST)

THAT IS MY HOUSE

2010-11-17T18:20:24Z

Miss Noel: Undo revision 125327 by OhhhMyAxels (talk)

'''THAT IS MY HOUSE''', aka '''ECV 00193''', is a video uploaded 27 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris]] demands footage of his [[14 Branchland Court|house]] be removed from the [[Internet]].

Chris took down the video not too long afterward, only for it be re-uploaded by [[troll]] [[TheCWCvilleLibrary|archivists]]. On 29 August 2009, an uncut version of the video featuring [[Bob Chandler|Chris's father]] was acquired by [[Vivian Gee]] and [[PS3/How the PS3 is Hacked|leaked]] onto [[YouTube]].

==Description==

{{quotebox|I was Already In Deep Enough, but THIS IS TOO DEEP! GET ALL MY HOUSE IMAGES OFF THE INTERNET!

I am counting on ALL FULL Positive Cooperation in this major matter.

Christian Weston Chandler, August 17 [sic], 2009 }}

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = THAT IS MY HOUSE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|70LvKzxeHOE}}
| stardate = 27 August 2009
| subject = {{Website|The Internet}}
| style = {{Rage|text}}
| shirt = {{GreenBlackTrim|text}}
| previous = [[Show_RESPECT_to_me,_"C"CWC| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE#Uncut| ECV 00192]]
}}

===Transcript===

''[Chris races into frame, VERY angry and upset]''

This does not even deserve a [[Captain's Log]] introduction, ''[dramatic [[glasses]] removal]'' BECAUSE this is DEAD SERIOUS. The [[Tour of Chris's house|inside and outside tour]] I did A FEW MONTHS ago of my house, everyone on the Internet...

''[Chris jumps up and suddenly begins to scream in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms as he puts louder emphasis on certain words]''

'''''MY [[Barbara Chandler|MOTHER]] AND MY [[Bob Chandler|FATHER]]''' ARE '''ANGRY''' AT ME!'''''

'''THEY'RE BLAMING''' IT AT ME! '''IT'S MY FAULT, I ADMIT IT!''' IT'S MY FAULT; I WANT EVERYTHING A'''''BOUT MY HOUSE'''''

'''''OFF! THE! INTERNET!'''''

''[Chris starts gesticulating ridiculously]'' I'll send in detectives! I'll send in [[Jerkops|police]]! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY '''[[Power|POWER]]!'''

''[There is a noticeable jump-cut, as a result of a removed scene in which [[Bob Chandler]] enters and talks with Chris. Chris's glasses are back on his face and the door is left open from when Bob walked in. See the Uncut version below]''

So yeah, please, get everything off the Internet...

{{RageQuote|NowNOWNOW''NOWNOW
'''NOWWWWWW!'''''}}
''[Chris stomps the ground as he yells, the camera noticably shakes]''

''[He quickly calms down then holds up peace sign]''

[[Curse ye ha me ha|Curse]] the [[trolls]], peace to everyone else.

==Uncut==

{{quote|Shut that goddamn thing off!|Bob Chandler, addressing his old foe: that ''goddamn Internet''}}

An uncut version aka '''ECV 00192''' was posted by [[Vivian Gee]] on 29 August 2009, where [[Bob Chandler]] walks in and scolds Chris. This is the second, and hopefully not the last time we see, or hear, Bob showing any kind of parental authority over Chris.

We also learn the real reason why Chris's parents are concerned about the tour videos: the fear that the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] will discover the squalor of the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler Household]] and condemn it.

Also noteworthy is the fact that this marks the first Chris video explicitly featuring another living, breathing person (as opposed to [[Kimmi|an inflatable person, made of plastic]]).

===Video===

{{Tardrage}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = ECV 00192
| image = {{#ev:youtube|UJbjb47nEfY}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 29 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Rage.png]] Rage
| Shirt = [[Image:Greenblacktrim.png]] Green with Black Trim
| previous = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
| next = [[Bless_the_Fans,_Curse_the_Trolls| Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]
}} </center>

====Transcript====

''[At 0:28, [[Bob Chandler|Bob]] opens the door and walks in]''

'''Chris''': ...THAT-- GET IT '''OFF''' THE INNERNET...

'''Bob''': Listen-to-me! ''[muffled by CWC's "OFF THE INTERNET!"]'' Listen to me.

'''Chris''': ''[his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|expression changes rapidly]] and slowly turns to face Bob]'' Yes...

'''Bob''': Listen to '''ME'''.

'''Chris''': Yes.

'''Bob''': Shut that goddamn thing off! [walks over to Chris, as he turns off his [[PS3|PSEye]]] I don't care what you do. ''[pointing at PSEye]'' You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight.

'''Chris''': I'm working on it. ''[slaps hands to his side]''

'''Bob''': Go work on it! ''[points to the door, instructing Chris to go to the computer downstairs]''

'''Chris''': I am working--

'''Bob''': Do you ''realize''? Do. ''you''. '''realize''' something? Let me tell you: If the [http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/ThomasJefferson/Greene/ Health Department of Greene County] sees those videos, that you put on the damn internet, they could condemn our house, and we would have to move out of it.

'''Chris''':'' [sighs]'' I see.

'''Bob''': You go get that goddamn stuff off of there and fast.

'''Chris''': I'm woorking on it! I was making a YouTube vi--uh, a vid-dya for YouTube t-tellin' ev'rybody, "Get the images off of the Internet". Y'know it's not...

'''Bob''': Nooo...

'''Chris''': Its--It's, ahh, ''out of my control'' ''[flails arms]''

'''Bob''': No, '''you''' get 'em off.

'''Chris''': It's out of my control! I don't know where to go! ''I DUNNO KNOW WHERE TA GO!''

'''Bob''': Yooou loaded them up there, you unload 'em!

'''Chris''': I'm working on it!

'''Bob''': Go do ''it!''

'''Chris''': ''I AM WORK'-- I AM DOIN' IT... I'M STARTIN'...

'''Bob''': GGet in ''here'' and do ''it''!

'''Chris''': I--''[sputters]''

'''Bob''': ''[walks out of the room]'' I'll be up all night with you if ''I have to''. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off.

'''Chris''': I'll working on it!

'''Bob''': ''[from outside]'' Git in there and staart!

'''Chris''': ''III'M. WOR-KIN'. ON IT! LET ME DO THAT STUPID VIDEO SO I CAN TELL [[Trolls|E'RRYBODY]], [[True_and_Loyal_Fanbase|IN MY COMMAND]], TO GET EVERYTHIN'-- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET!'--'

'''Bob''': ''[interrupting]'' Listennn,

'''Chris''': --about our house!

'''Bob''': I don't wanna get kicked outta ''my'' house. By the Health Department. And what you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us! ''[Bob exits the room again]''

'''Chris''': Aw'right... lemme just...

'''Bob''': Get that ''stuff'' OFFA THERE...

'''Chris''': '''I'M ''WOORK'''''--

'''Bob''': ...and get it offa there fast!

'''Chris''': I'm WORKIN' on it! I'm ''WORKIN' '' on it!'' [Chris appears to resume recording footage for his video]''

''[Cut footage ends at 2:11, continuing into NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWWWWW]''

==The Greene County Health Department responds==

In addition to creating many, many mirrors of the videos Bob wanted cut down, some more intrepid viewers actually did contact the Greene County Health Department. The Health Department did respond (3 weeks later) to one such letter, although they seemed indifferent and stated the Chandler's decision to live in a garbage house full of dirty dishes and animal feces was part of their inalienable rights as guaranteed by the US Constitution:

{{quotebox|Dear Bob S:

Thank you for your interest in this situation. The challenge is to
clarify if the conditions at this residence are a risk to the public's
health or if they are personal risks accepted by the individuals that
choose to live there.

Public Health relates to the general health of a community. When
diseases can be transmitted from person to person or when the health
risk affects the community, regulations have normally been enacted to
address these public health threats. Even so, the individual's right to
choose is protected by the Constitution. We know smoking greatly
increases the risk of cancer and heart disease, yet individuals continue
to choose to smoke. Regulations are in place to minimize public exposure
to contaminated or mishandled foods, yet some individuals still choose
to eat raw hamburger. In the case you've brought to our attention, the
"deplorable conditions" you refer to appear to be confined to the
individual residence and are the choice of those that live there. They
do not appear to effect the health of the community. There are no
specific health regulations that address individual choices in private
living conditions.

We have contacted the building official to see if any building, zoning
of fire prevention laws apply and were informed that they did not. We
also contacted the Greene County Attorney to see if he knew of any
County ordinances that would be applicable. He did not know of any. We
also contacted adult protective services to make sure they are aware of
the situation.

Please contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Jeffrey T. McDaniel 
Environmental Health Manager 
[http://www.vdh.state.va.us/LHD/thomasjefferson/ Thomas Jefferson Health District]}}

==Current state of the Chandler household==

In [[Mailbag 25]] Chris revealed that he lied to his Father, telling him that he had gotten the house vids off of the internet. While there is little chance of the Chandler pig sty actually being condemned we can expect a shitstorm very soon. The next time Chris misses a few days in a row of his comic, it may be because Bob learned the house vids were still up and cut down the internet.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = NOW MIX
| video = {{#ev:youtube|euiWcvwoON8}}
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian]]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JuVHCJVYf4 The original song]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "That's My House!" - Ca. 1912 Silent Film Starring Christian and Robert Chandler
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ENSKi4_mO3A}}
| Stardate = 27 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tregnier279 tregnier279]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENSKi4_mO3A The original video]
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC-Tok (Presented to You by Christian Weston Chandler)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|7V1gEjtmm9M}}
| Stardate = 09 January 2010
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject =
| Video Type = Remix
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Duke Nukem meets Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vnnQor5iecc}}
| Stardate = 17 September 2010
| Maker = AnimuAnimalia
| Subject =
| Video Type = Chris Chan Forever
}}

==See also==

*[[Bob Walks In]]
*[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]
*[[Tour of Chris's House]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC]]|nextlink=[[Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls]]|}}

{{Troll Videos}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

CWC Fighter

2010-11-17T18:19:42Z

Miss Noel: Undo revision 125329 by OhhhMyAxels (talk)

[[File:Tinychunli.jpg|thumb|150px|This Chun-Li can beat the living crap out of Chris.]]
"'''CWC Fighter'''" is a video from 18 [[August 2009]] in which [[Chris Chan]] shows us his [[lie|awesome]] martial arts moves. In the background, a riding lawn mower can be seen, confirming that when Chris [[Father Call|complains about how he occasionally is forced to mow the lawn]] he is, in fact, sitting down the entire time.

Coincidentally, Chris Chan is also the name of a [[Wikipedia:Wing Chun|Wing Chun]] grandmaster. There is [[Don't Trust Any Homos Over There|no relation]], as you can see.

==Video==

{{quote|Watch It, I have a little [[Wikipedia:Chun-Li|Chun-Li]] within me.|Official description}}

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = CWC Fighter
| image = {{#ev:youtube|IXMP1XmD-cg}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 18 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = [[Image:Crazy.png]] Crazy
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Light_His_Mind's_Darkest_Hour| Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]
| next = [[One_Blessing,_and_One_Curse| One Blessing, and One Curse]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===
[''A camera is pointed at the back of Chris's [[Son-chu|blue stationwagon]] parked in the [[14 Branchland Court|yard]]. A riding [[Father Call|lawnmower]] is visible. Chris walks into the frame, [[Chris and fashion|dressed]] in a bright red T-shirt with an undersized denim vest and blue jeans. He also wears his [[Medallion of fail|Sonichu medallion]]. He stands, legs apart, hands clasped in front of him, eyes closed as if in prayer. He is possibly [[Chris and religion|invoking]] some kind of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|ungodly power]]. He brings his hands to his sides, and with a crazed look he swings his right arm backwards. Aiming to either side of his body, he makes an upwards, poking motion with his left hand, then his right. His fingers are fully extended. He does the same thing, except straight ahead. He punches the air and twirls around, his back to the camera. He makes an awkward spinning kick and recovers ungracefully. He kicks air with his other leg with his arms akimbo and his head cocked to one side. He takes a step back and does two pitiful punching motions aimed at nowhere in particular. He attempts an uppercut and fails horribly at it, vaguely resembling a [[Chris Loses It|wounded animal]]. Chris punches some more air in random directions, but with much, much less force than when he started 20 seconds ago. Chris crouches down and does a very, very slow spinning kick where that looks particularly ineffectual. Chris returns to the camera, flashes a victory sign, and states:'']

I've got a little Chun-Li, withiiiiin me.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = FALCCCCCCCCCONNNNNNN CHRIS
| video = {{#ev:youtube|GS_z-kM64rM}}
| Stardate = 20 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/puppetchaos puppetchaos]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = (VGM) Remix
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC Ballet
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YKXtDWOuL4U}}
| Stardate = 21 August 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/ohhhmyaxels OhhhMyAxels]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type = ?????
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = SUPER CWC FIGHTER 2 ALPHA: THE THIRD STRIKE
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Uy2z-fi9yec}}
| Stardate = 10 September 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/PhallusKnifeFight PhallusKnifeFight]
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-Chan can swim.
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vSkP9E_6bMw}}
| Stardate = 25 May 2010
| Maker = TheMammothWasHere
| Subject = [[CWC_Fighter]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = [[CWC Fighter]] ALPHA 2
| video = {{#ev:youtube|sMT5Xb6IshE}}
| Stardate = 14 March 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/DrButler DrButler]
| Subject = [[Don't Mess With Me]]
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CCR: Chris Chan Revolution
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bVkzCzTh-7o}}
| Stardate = 5 October 2010
| Maker = GoldPlatedDildo
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info = DDR Remix
}}

==External links==
*[[Wikipedia:Chris Chan Lee|Wikipedia article on Chris Chan Lee]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Light His Mind's Darkest Hour]]|nextlink=[[One Blessing, and One Curse]]|}}
{{Game Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Outdoor videos]]

Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC

2010-11-17T18:19:08Z

Miss Noel: Undo revision 125328 by OhhhMyAxels (talk)

'''"Show RESPECT to me, 'C'CWC"''' is a video where [[Chris]] sings [[Niggos|Aretha Franklin]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Respect (song)|Respect]]", demanding that people—not only respect him, but, also— praise him, apparently in a religious manner, as Chris portrays himself as some sort of [[Chris and religion|deity]] that we should all [[Chris and his ego|worship]]. Chris notably fails at spelling "respect", which is clearly spelled out in the song.

==Description==

{{quotebox| Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC Thank you, Miss Franklin for that Cwcspirational Track. :)

And Thank you to all my True, Loyal Honest Fans for giving me RESPECT.

And to all you nay-sayers and trollin' stupids, [[Chris and hypocrisy|GROW UP]]!!! And show me RESPECT.}}

==Video==
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Show RESPECT to me, "C"CWC
| image = {{#ev:youtube|TJsEtuKsIVQ}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 22 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:music.png]] [[Music]]
| Shirt = [[Image:classicshort.png]] The Classic Shortsleeve
| previous = [[CWC_Update_20_August_2009| CWC Update 20 August 2009]]
| next = [[THAT_IS_MY_HOUSE| THAT IS MY HOUSE]]
}} </center>

{{quote|R-E-S-T-E-D-C!}}

===Transcript===

[[Captain's Log]], Stardate: August 22nd, 2009.

Th' name is ''Christian Weston Chandler'', birth name Christopher, Spanish nickname [[Ricardo Weston Chandler|Ricardo]], [''shakes head''] [[Ian Brandon Anderson|NO OTHER NAME]].

[''Begins drawing on a piece of paper, using the [[Gitar of Fail|gitar]] as an impromptu writing surface with some difficulty'']

I am so sick of hearing that ''stupid name'' that somebody made up back when I had that [[Ian Brandon Anderson|IBAChandler]] account, and ''I be a Chandler''. You know, "I" being myself, "B" standing for specifying who I am, and "Chandler" being my ''last name''.

I tell you, I'm so sick of getting all this disrespect. You dis—you continue dissing me, you're dissing [[Charlottesville]], and everybody—and all the indi—and all the individual citizens, and als—you also diss [[Ruckersville]]. I'm so sick of the [[Speech_Impediment|disrespest]]. We do not need disrespect in this world, all it does is just... makes me feel bad. And do you want me to feel bad? Do you want me to stop drawing the [[comic]]s? [''shakes head''] And I am not going to stop drawing the comics, not as long as I [''begins singing, with his usual level of talent''] [[CWC_Dare|DARE!]] TO! [[KCWC_Top_10_Dedication_Special#Part_1:_.2310|SURVIIIIIVE!]] It's calling me on to victory! [''stops, to the relief of millions'']

Anyway, all I'm—anyway, I am definitely getting all th—into the works. It's all in the papers... everything is in the papers.

[''Chris begins to speak in the rhythm of the song he's about to sing (or tries to, anyway)'']

So, all I'm askin', ya dern dummy 
Cause guess what? I give ya all my workin'. 
I'm castin', my [[Semen|pearls]] before [[Barb|swine]]. 
But yet do I complain? [[Lie|Not really]]. 
All I'm askin', in return dudes and dudettes 
'sa lil' bit of respet. 

'Cause ya you know me. I'm the [[Chris and Art|artist]]. 
I'm the [[Things Chris Has Ripped Off|original]], there's no [[Liquid|substitute]]. 
If you don't like it, well y'all can go [[Asperchu|sommere else]] 
like to Hell. 

Eh, but the rest of you, give me my praises 
I tell you what, you'll get my blessin's. 
and I tell you what, trolls, you're so trollin' stupid 
don't give a dare. 

[''finishes drawing, then holds up the artistic abortion he has created'']

Fresh sample; match it to any book. 'Cause you know, all I'm asking for...

[''jump cut to Chris cueing Aretha Franklin performing and Chris preparing to [[Oversized_Drinking_Straw_of_Fail|rape it with his mouth]]'']

What you want, man I got it. 
What you need, you know I got it. 
All I'm askin'--PEOPLE!--is for a li'l respect. 

Der be lel beh, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a little bit, 
Just a little bit. 

I ain't gonna do you wrong, where you goin', WOMAN? 
[''Mumbles incoherently through this entire line''] 
But all I'm askin', is for a little respect. 

Der be lel beh, [''dramatic glasses removal''] baby, 
Just a little bit. 
Just a litle bit, 
Just a little bit. 

Uz give you all my workin'. 
And all I'm askin' returndudesanddudettes, 
Is to PRAISE me, und duh pluz smer git ho! [''sic''] 

AY, SHOUT IT LOUD I'M TRUE! 
[[High_school#Graduation|PRAISE ME!]] 
HAVE FAITH! Show me respect! 
I'm so sick of that hazing and mislabelings! 
You keep it up you're gonna continue to be cursed! 
Otherwise withthetrue andthefaithful, y'all continue to get my blessin's! 
Oooh, YA PRAISES! 
Sweeter'n honey. 
But guess what? 
[[Semen|Salt]] is my money. 
Oh, what you do for me ip—dip—is praise me when you get home! 
Bleah, baby! 
PRAISE ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LADIES! [[Chris and Rape|give it to me]]! 
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me! 
R-E-S-T-E-D-C, [[Semen|drink it]], TCB! 
Suckittome, suckittome, suckittome, suckit—GIVE ME RESPECT!

==See also==
*[[Chris and his Ego]]
*[[Scale of Respect]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Update 20 August 2009]]|nextlink=[[THAT IS MY HOUSE]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Captain's log entries|2009-08-22]]

Light His Mind's Darkest Hour

2010-11-17T18:18:31Z

Miss Noel: Undo revision 125330 by OhhhMyAxels (talk)

In '''Light His Mind's Darkest Hour''', [[Chris]] blesses [[Liquid]] to remove his alleged insanity, which Chris believes was induced by the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] he unleashed in his video of [[NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!|14 August]]. Several things are wrong with this picture.

This video features a rare reference to Kim, the elusive "friend" of Liquid's girlfriend [[Kacey]], and a hint at the beginning of Chris's campaign to steal Kacey away and make her his [[sweetheart]].

==Video==

<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Light His Mind's Darkest Hour
| image = {{#ev:youtube|5f_cjpRzOv8}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 16 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Saga = [[Image:liquid_saga.png]] Liquid Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:redshirt.png]] Red shirt
| previous = [[Guitar_Rock_Hero_Band_Revolution_Notes#Addendum| Make Custom Characters Copyable]]
| next = [[CWC Fighter]]
}} </center>

===Transcript===

Stardate, August 16th, 2009. I have seen, his latest video. I youa- I would have- I know that it is a mockery, and a lame attempt to frame me, still. [''[[Sigh]]s''] Anyway, let's examine it. The guy who has him, supposedly, sounds nothing like me. And, if I was to actually- if I had recorded that video myself, I'd upload it to my account, as well as his account simultaneously, or just upload it to my own. I do not have access to his own account, I swear... to God. And also, look at the ropes. '''They're loose. They're loose.''' He's just trying to pull your legs again with that stunt. So yeah, quit encouraging him, think about it. But still.

It has come to my attention from my, uh, my friend- um-uh, my friends of uh, Kim and Kacey, Kacey being Christian's sw-sweetheart - yes, it was wrong of me to unleash, uh, such a heavy curse upon him. And for that, I apologize. I'm here to make it right.

[''Starts playing "The Touch"'']

He has impostored [sic] me for the last couple of weeks... the past few weeks. I cannot- I can- I cannot easily forgive him, but I can at least undo the curse. This is for you, Christian W Chandler, somewhere around west portion of DC.

[''Chris closes his eyes and faces down starting at 1:39'']

May this blessing, light your darkest hour, within your twisted mind, and make you come sane and clean. Until all are one. Forgiveness, bless-aing.

[''Chris holds out his hands, eyes still closed, at 2:11. His hands move in ways that suggest he is imagining groping a pair of breasts. He puts his hands down and opens his eyes at 2:34.'']

Kacey again, I'm sorry for having cursed him in the first place. I lo- I pray he comes back to you safely, and sane. Peace.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Guitar Rock Hero Band Revolution Notes]]|nextlink=[[CWC Fighter]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!

2010-11-17T18:16:58Z

Miss Noel: Undo revision 125332 by OhhhMyAxels (talk)

{{quote|SONICHU AND ROSECHU ARE MINE ALONE.}}

'''NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!''' is a video uploaded 14 [[August 2009]]. This is Ian's response to [[Liquid Chris]]'s finale. The video contains the first appearance of Ian's sign to save [[McIntire Park]], which appears later in a video recorded from [[Charlottesville]] public access television. It should also be noted that Chris fails to give any sort of credit to the taxpayers of America for any of that $5,000+ he has spent on Nintendo products.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR<nowiki>!!!</nowiki>
| image = {{#ev:youtube|MqNhOEBVxtk}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{RedBlackTrim}} Red with Black Trim
| previous = [[CWC Public Disclaimer]]
| next = [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Sonichu_Rosechu_Save_McIntire_by_Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|Save it to the extreme, you two!]]
Oh no you don't Chris! You're not getting away that easy! You do all that, [[Chris and the Law|I will SUE your sorry ass]]. And I wanna tell [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] in Redmond right away to stop you, because they know as well as I do. I sent them a letter previously months and months ago for the origi-for the original printout of the [[Sonichu 0|Number Zero book]]. They know! They have the records. ''They know''. I have been a customer of them FOR YEARS! They have had my money a bunch of times! Long before I made up with Sony and gave them [[monthly tugboat|over two th...]] Hah... [''Does an incredibly gay hand gesture; then makes an odd squealing sound''] Nintendo has like five TH- over five thousand dollars worth between me and my parents but anyway. I'm st... Anyway, you are not-you will not succeed. [''Points finger at camera''] You are the IMPOSTOR!

[''backs away from the camera''] YOU ARE THE IMPOSTOR! STOP - THAT - BROWN - STRIPED - IN - THE... SHIRT... [''nods head''] WITH THE PAPER MEDALLION! STOP THAT IMPOSTOR [''Shows a drawn cardboard, the Sonichu [[McIntire Park]] sign''] [[Sonichu|SONICHU]] AND [[Rosechu|ROSECHU]] ARE MINE ''ALONE''. I AM THE Christian Weston Chandler, [''begins to speed his speech''] born with the birth name of [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] on February 24th [[1982]], I'm the one [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr]] as my father and [[Barbara Anne Weston Chandler]] as my mother, [[14 Branchland Court]] [[Ruckersville]], Virginia 22968 434 990 0198 STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, ''EVERYTHING! STOP HIM!'' HE DESERVES ''NOTHING!''

{{RageQuote|DUUUUUHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU}}

[jump cut]

[''reappears without glasses'']Especially after I disclaimer video I made where I told them by not to buy anything from you, I warn Nintendo, and [[HEXBox|Microsoft]], and Sony, do not buy anything from him either, HE'S the impostor, I'M the real deal, LOOK AT THE HISTORY ON [[ED]] AND EVERYWHERE ELSE. You will rot in jail, mister... ssss... you will rot in jail, Nintendo has known me for years, slala... so much longer, practically my whole lifetime. They know me. And they know you to be the impostor. You go into Nintendo's doors, they ''will'' kick your ass out. Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, STOP HIM! PUT HIM IN JAIL! CALL THE [[jerkops|POLICE]] ON HIM! Anybody else, in my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true loyal fanbase]], do the same thing, please help me, put him in jail when you see his sorry face. And you know what? Let's top this off. Right now. No ''Shin'', we're going for the original. Just for that impostor that has worn the brown stripes all this time. Hmmm... Curse-ye-ha-me...

{{RageQuote|''HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!''}}

[''jump cut'']

Call the police on him. [[Stress sigh|(Sighs)]] Have a nice day.

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]|nextlink=[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

User talk:OhhhMyAxels

2010-11-17T18:16:09Z

Miss Noel: Created page with "Stop changing the pages, faggot. --~~~~"

Stop changing the pages, faggot. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 10:16, 17 November 2010 (PST)

User talk:SherwinKing

2010-11-17T18:14:23Z

Miss Noel: /* I AM NOT CHRIS OR A TROLL */

User talk:SherwinKing

2010-11-17T15:49:48Z

Miss Noel:

User talk:SherwinKing

2010-11-17T14:46:39Z

Miss Noel:

2010-10-12T21:45:40Z

Miss Noel:

Talk:PS Move of Fail

2010-10-12T21:19:28Z

Miss Noel:

Talk:PS Move of Fail

2010-10-12T20:57:55Z

Miss Noel:

2010-09-28T21:48:33Z

Miss Noel:

[[File:Hmmodel.jpg|thumb|left|What the video is about]]
[[File:TheTitanicTruth.jpg|thumb|300px|Lars' ship has indeed sunk.]]

'''Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[September 2010]]. Chris addresses the video to someone called "[[Lars]]", the ex-boyfriend of Chris's latest [[sweetheart]], [[Jackie]]. He then proceeds to [[Twin Falling Towers|belittle and disrespect]] the victims of the [[wikipedia:RMS Titanic|Titanic]] disaster by pretending to sink a [[LEGO]] boat, apparently with Lars aboard. The grand finale is Chris destroying the boat and some LEGO characters with his feet.

Of note in this video is further signs of Chris's [[Chris and health|rapid aging.]] His [[Hair|hairline]] is further back than it ever has been, though it appears Chris may have resorted to growing his hair out to hide his premature balding. However, the way it looks makes him look even creepier than ever before.

{{clear}}

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Lars' Ship has Sunk
| video = {{#ev:youtube|C3mv4UjTblU}}
| stardate = 25 [[September 2010]]
| subject = {{Galpals|text}}, {{Violence|text}}, {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| shirt = {{BrickFestShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Song for Jackie.MOV]]
| next = [[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
}}

{{quote|The consequences will never be the same|Chris on breaking LEGO}}

===Transcript===

[[File:Brickfest-back.jpg|thumb|These guys had no idea what was coming]]
[[File:Creepy_boat.jpg|thumb|Chris WILL sink your boat!]]

Good afternoon. This message goes out to an ex of mine, dear belove- my dear beloved sweetheart's, who goes by the name of Lars. Who had a session [[Chris and English|[means to say "an obsession"]]], with model boats! [''Presents Lego boat''] And here is a Titanic-like boat! He is piloting it! Let's see what happens to his boat!

[''Moves "boat" down to an inverted Lego board'']

[''High pitched voice''] "Oh, look at me! I'm sailing in my Titanic-like boat which was originally for my girlfriend! Who is now Christian's girlfriend! And today was our anniversary! This twenty fifth of September - Oh no! What this! A ciberg!"

[''Wails and breaks boat apart'']

It gets better. You know what. Because... Here comes the demolition team that finds... th-the remains... of the sunken ship. [''Steps on the "ship"''] Boom! Boom! [''Cackles''] Oh, and here's the captain of the ship! The remains of him anyway! Peoww! [''Crushes figurine underfoot, collapsing a small pile of hoarded books and copybooks by accident, then zooms in''] [[Clyde_is_Weaker_than_Water|Weak as dirt]].

[''Points upwards''] [http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jessi_Slaughter The consequences will never be the same.] Lars, [[I AM STRONG|you are no match for me and my]] [[obesity|muscles]]. [''A faint voice, perhaps [[Barb]], says "Hello"'']

[''Licks his lips as if about to speak again - video ends'']

==See also==
*[[Jackie]]
*[[New Address]]
*[[Twin Falling Towers]], in which Chris mocked another tragedy

{{clear}}

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Song for Jackie.MOV]]|nextlink=[[Anti Troll Movement Video1]]}}
{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV

2010-09-28T21:17:07Z

Miss Noel:

{{Honest}}
[[File:Ima42Bust.jpg|thumb|Chris's measurements.]]

'''For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV''' is a video leaked 21 [[April 2010]] for [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]] in which [[Chris]] demonstrates how he would pleasure her orally and reveals his [[muscle bra|sports bra]], showing off his creepiness on a level not seen since the [[Ivy]] saga.

Chris, wearing a new [[shirt]] bearing a message contradictory to his claims that he is not a [[homo]], begins by apologizing to Jackie for introducing her to the [[CWCki]] (perhaps seeking to avoid another [[The Wallflower|Wallflower]] incident) and trying to explain what he believes happened with Ivy and [[Vanessa Saga|Vanessa Hudgens]]. Chris attempts to sound sincere but, as always, fails miserably. Things only go from bad to worse as Chris demonstrates how he would "pleasure" her [[Chris and sex|orally]]; Chris's voice gets noticeably more excited as he explains this. He even goes so far as to show how he would [[fail|use his tongue as well]]. This, unfortunately, goes on for a good minute. At one point, Chris seems to [[Mumble 8|forget who he's talking to]] and refers to Jackie as [[Ivy]]. Chris ends the video by explaining how he has a belly and man-boobs - he seems slightly more willing to admit this fact than he did back in [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]] - and reveals that he wears a [[muscle bra|sports bra]]. To make it even more pathetic: Chris actually fills it in.

Chris, in a surprising move, did not upload the video to [[YouTube]] but instead used MediaFire. He believes this will keep anyone from getting a hold of the video, neglecting the idea that Jackie herself would circulate it.

Also, note how the trolls DID find it.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV
| video = {{#ev:youtube|wEKLxgRJnAc}}
| stardate = 21 April 2010
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}}
| shirt = {{MountAndDoMe|text}}, {{Cwcbra2|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]
| next = [[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]
}}

===Transcript===
Hey, Jackie, it's me Christian. I'm doing this video for you 'cause upload to th- da MediaFire. Hopefully uh, [[trolls]] will not get that to there. I mean, yeah, I have not tried MediaFire before. But, yeah, I do have a friend that recommends it as well, so, for you I'll try it.

[''Removes [[glasses]], rubs the bridge of his nose'']

Well, first half of the video though uh, yeah, let me apologize for uh, yeah, that thing I- for even leading you to the [[CWCki]]. I just wanted to let you know 'bout what happened to me before. I just felt concerned about that, but- and then with that uh, reading what you read on Ivy's page, yeah, I was wrong. I forgot one detail of that- that detail. Yeah, it was uh- supposedly I was talking to uh, this [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who was like coming onto me really- really well online and I had- I held in with my self-restraint as best as I could. For a long time. And then she's kinda, talked me into it a little bit.

[''A digital tone goes off''] Ignore that. [''Gets up and turns it off, returns to chair''] Eh, that's my cell phone. Hmm. Let me just talk care of that real quick. [''holds up cell phone, apparently silences or turns it off''] Anyway uh, yeah. I did make a video apologizing to Ivy for that, at least, you know, I could man up and admit when I made such a mistake as that. And that was in the past. And I'm sorry- did not mean to- I did not mean to lie to you, I swear. I jus- I just forgot that one detail.

Anyway, as for that, uh, the quote-unquote Vanessa Hudgens actually this- was actually in reality this uh [[Chris and Race#Hispanics|Spanish]] dude I know, [[Joshua Martinez]]. Yeah, just- he was- he was just basi- he was- he was pretending to be Vanessa that whole time and... [''[[sigh]], Chris's face becomes noticeably distraught''] Really ticks me off, that guy. Ehh, nother-nother- that's another story for another day though. Hmm. But anyway with that put aside uh [''perks up a little''] I'm gonna show you- I'm gonna show you some ways on how I can pleasure you [''[[Creepy stare|eyes widen]]''] orally, mmkay?

[''Shifts in chair''] Yeah, I got a few ideas like you know, we definitely [''lifts hand into frame, fidgets''] give you [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|some finger play]]. Lots of fingers. But yeah, I would just- yeah. I could be like [''Leans towards the camera, closes eyes, flicks tongue around.''] Ahh, I lick your pretty little clit there. [''Continues to pantomime sex acts''] Tickle your pussy... [''Indicates this with a gesture nowhere near the supposed area.''] Oh! And here's the fun part, I put my- I can roll my tongue. I put- I push- I put it in there [''Leans forwards, sticks out tongue''] and extend it while it's in there. Can you imagine that? [''More tongue fail, leans back in chair''] I got other ideas as well, but I just can't think of them right now. But hopefully that's now good enough for starters and to make up for that.

Any- ah, I hhave been under confusion pat- for a little while, but seriously, [[Fail|Ivy]], I really do want you. [''Firmer, failing to realize his Freudian slip''] I want you. And I do love you and I care about you, and I pray that this video does not fall into the hands of the trolls. You let me know once you got it downloaded successfully and that you're able to play it and I'll take it off of the MediaFire.

[''Brow furrows, whisper''] Oh, my gosh. [''normally''] I gotta watch myself. And also uh, another thing to make up for this uh, hmm, I'll reveal another thing about myself. I actually did- I actually uh, do have [[Obesity|a bit of a belly]], but also with that uh [''grabs manboobs''] manboobs. I'm not- I'm not t- I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence that you will not laugh at me, but when I walk they do bounce, so I have to uh [''Strips off "Mount and Do Me" shirt to reveal sports bra''] so I wear a sports bra. [''Adjusts sports bra''] Works very good, keeps 'em from bouncing. I got- I'm a 42-bust. Alright, well, I hope we can- hopefully we can move on, and resume our relationship with emotions, or otherwise restart it. I love you Jackie. Love you. [''makes kissing motion, then reaches for camera''] Talk to you later. Meet up soon [''video abruptly ends''].

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = YTP- Chris Chan explains how to pleasure a woman, also sports bra
| video = {{#ev:youtube|kJKmcdSSs7U}}
| Maker = BigJuicyx3
| Stardate = 23 April 2010
| Video Type = VG Remix
}}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = what the chris
| video = {{#ev:youtube|hwoHCXD1e1g}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/mrallex mrallex]
| Stardate = 10 May 2010
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CFMM feat. Christian Chandler - "Tickle Yo' Pussay"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SXKoy8gbahc}}
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/CFMM2 CFMM]
| Stardate = 21 July 2010
| Video Type = Remix
| Other Info = Mixed using MTV Music Generator (PC version).
}}

==See also==
*[[Jackie e-mails]]
*[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]]|nextlink=[[04232010 - Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless|Autism Awareness & Men Should NEVER be Topless]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]

Talk:New Address

2010-09-28T21:00:39Z

Miss Noel: /* We need to get these emails */

I'll just transcribe this.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:03, 27 September 2010 (PDT)

== The Meaning of "New Address"...? ==

What exactly could he mean by the video's name being "New Address"? --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 17:22, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
*That he's addressing Lars and it's new? --[[User:Kam36|Kam36]] 17:27, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
:*That's as good an explanation as any. -- [[User:Revolver Octopus|Revolver Octopus]] 20:48, 27 September 2010 (PDT)

== Lars and the e-mails ==

First he makes fun of yet another tragedy, and now here he is threatening some guy? If we could just get those e-mails, we'd be able to see if Chris is just being a little kid and bragging that [[Kacey|he finally stole someone's girlfriend away from someone else]] or if there's more to this than meets the eye. But in either case, I doubt Lars would be afraid of some fatass manchild waving around Legos.

Seriously, we need to see if we can get those e-mails. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 19:12, 27 September 2010 (PDT)

*Shut up. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 19:16, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
*What Crass is trying to say is: be patient. --[[User:Caboose -1|Caboose -1]] 21:49, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
*Hey this is my first involvement on a wiki so I apologize profusely if I'm doing this wrong, but I just wanted to interject; does Lars really even exist? Is he doing this just to make us think he has a girlfriend?--[[User:Cutsman|Cutsman]] 22:39, 27 September 2010 (PDT)
**Of course Lars really exists. I swear to God and Jesus, you fucking newfags will next doubt Jackie herself being real. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 02:34, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

Well not real in the sense they exist inside the CWC universe, some boring trolls looking for attention I think like the recent bob prank calls, its only fun when it makes Chris react with outside world --[[User:Bentduck|Bentduck]] 08:48, 28 September 2010 (PDT)
*They aren't trolls, we would've heard something from them by now if they were. --[[User:Xaranthis|Xaranthis]] 13:32, 28 September 2010 (PDT)
**Whatever. This Jackie saga's starting off really good. I can't wait to see what happens. We really do need to find out more about this Lars guy, though. --[[User:Miss Noel|Noel Ari Paige]] 13:53, 28 September 2010 (PDT)

== Boat ==

FWIW, I think the "Boat Projectile" he used is the trailer to Classics Bumblebee. [http://www.transformersclassics.com/news/data/upimages/bumblebee_alt.jpg Bumblebee]