CWCki - User contributions [en]

Virginia Jeanine Sanford

2012-01-25T02:17:56Z

Mister R:

[[Image:0146-MrsVirginiaSanford.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Sanford, cosplaying as herself.]]
[[Image:0226-ChristianWMrsSanford.jpg|thumb|Chris and Mrs. Sanford.]]

{{quote|She was the most influential teacher in my life. During my years at Providence Middle School, she taught me better [[Autism|social skills]], how to [[Death threats|better cope with other people]], [[trolls|bullies]] and [[Reality|life]]. With a positive and fun [[Homos|tomboyish]] attitude, she was a teacher any child would be most proud to look up to and be taught by.
|Chris on Mrs. Sanford<ref>[[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]]</ref>}}

'''Virginia Jeanine Sanford''' was one of [[Christian]]'s teachers. She was once Teacher of the Year.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Teenage Years]]</ref> Virginia Jeanine Sanford helped him cope with his [[autism]] at [[Providence Middle School]].

==Message to Chris==
[[Image:0231-MrsSanfordsWiseWords.jpg|thumb|Mrs. Sanford pretending to be [[Advice Chris|Advice Dog]]. If only Chris had listened...]]
When Chris was in eighth grade, Virginia wrote a message to Chris which would eerily predict his future Internet mishaps. Though it is likely that Chris, being Chris, was a spaz then like he is today. Also, note the grammatical errors.

{{quotebox|To Christian- 
Well, it's been 3 years now at [[Providence Middle School|Providence]] and it's all over! Where has the time gone to? The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your weak points are located, then [[trolls|they]] will know how to push your button. If you never show them, they will never know. I hope you will have an enjoyable summer and come back to visit. Do you very best at [[Manchester High School|Manchester]], put your best foot forward, and [[Death threats|treat others as you]] [[Chris and hypocrisy|wish to be treated]]. 
Love, 
Mrs. Sanford 
(gs)}}
{{-}}
==E-mail Chris sent==
:''[[Chris_E-mails_2007#February|Chris E-mails 2007]]''

== Sources ==
<references />

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Sanford, Virginia Jeanine}}
[[Category:People]]

Family Guy

2012-01-25T01:47:08Z

Mister R:

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is a poorly made animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics, much like the show rips off everything else.

The series is also the "inspiration" for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his "skitch" in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, poorly drawn, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least "borrowing") themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his drawings.

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of marijuana jokes or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100 2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the {{CWCipedia link|Family Guy|plot he posted}} on the [[CWCipedia]].

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos]]exuality, his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]] and issues with the plot that only someone with [[autism]] would notice. Also, the tower incident that [[Chris]] is referring to takes place in the movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. However, Chris is wrong about it causing Stewie to be straight. This is because it is pretty obviously hinted in this movie that he is gay, as he is a virgin at 30, still shows very flamboyant tendencies and is very reluctant to have sex with a woman.

Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Cole Smithey

2011-11-08T20:53:17Z

Mister R:

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:Colesmithey.jpg|200px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Cole Smithey
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Joseph Cole Smithey
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| 24 July [[Pre-1980#1960s|1963]] (age 48)
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Barbara]] (mother) [[Jack Dale Smithey]] (supposed father) [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (presumed actual father) [[Jerry Harmon]] (supposed stepfather) [[Robert Chandler]] (stepfather)
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Film critic, musician
|-
|}

{{quote|Let me know when that fuck [[Bob]] finally drops.|Cole, [[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-3.PNG|24 July 2007 e-mail #3]]}}
{{quote|I do not regret giving birth to Cole.|[[Barbara Chandler]]<ref>[[:Image:Cole_07-03-06-1.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail #1]]</ref>}}

'''Joseph Cole Smithey''' (born 24 July 1963)<ref>''[[:Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|A CD For Cole Smithey!]]''</ref> is [[Chris]]'s half-brother, [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara's]] first son and the lone escapee of the [[14 Branchland Court|Casa De Chandler]]. As he is sharing chromosomes with Chris and being raised by the same horrible mother, Cole is unsurprisingly a bit of a dick albeit seemingly normal. [[Cole Smithey E-mails|Cole's e-mails to Chris]] revealed a lot about the Chandler family.

He currently lives in Manhattan and is a noted film critic who is featured on Rotten Tomatoes.<ref>http://www.rottentomatoes.com/critic/cole-smithey/</ref> He achieved notoriety in Time Magazine for being one of the few critics to give a negative review to Toy Story 3.<ref>http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/06/19/can-147-critics-be-wrong-meet-the-two-pundits-who-trashed-toy-story-3/</ref>

==Childhood==
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|left|Cole's [[true and honest]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook]]

Cole grew up in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref> As a child, Cole was physically and mentally abused by Barbara and his "stepfather" [[Jerry Harmon]] with punishments such as ass beatings, cold showers, and "bizarre scenarios."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref>

Barb insisted that Cole's biological father was [[Jack Dale Smithey]], to whom she claimed she was married to, but records show she wasn't.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:Cole_07-03-06-2.PNG</ref> Cole suspected, and later confirmed, that his biological father was [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]], who would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child.

==Move to California==
Cole left Virginia for California, attending San Diego State University from 1981-1984, and earning degrees in Dramatic Art and Music. He also attended Hartnell College and San Francisco City College in similar fields of study.<ref>http://www.linkedin.com/pub/cole-smithey/a/125/9aa</ref> While at college, he became the drummer for a Poway, California punk rock band called "The Rockin’ Dogs". The band lasted from 1981-1985.<ref>The Rockin’ Dogs
</ref>{{clear}}

==Relationship with Barbara and Bob==
[[File:Bobcomes home copy.jpg|thumb|left|A likely summary for Bob and Cole's relationship.]]
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole smiles alongside [[Barbara]] on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Cole wasn't on good terms with [[Bob]] and not even with [[Barbara]]. [[Bob]] worked his "bitter influence" on Barbara to separate her from Cole. Cole has "never met a meaner or more reprehensible Republican cur than Bob Chandler."<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 e-mail, page 2]]</ref> In multiple emails to Chris, Cole asks him to let him know when Bob dies, so that he can celebrate.<ref>http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Cole_Smithey_E-mails</ref>

Barbara continued to lie about the identity of Cole's biological father and related facts repeatedly, even on the night before Cole's wedding and even after Cole hired a private detective to find evidence that contradicts her claims. It turns out Barbara was never married to [[Jack Dale Smithey]], Cole's alleged father, but rather to [[Ran Coleman Yeatts|Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts]].

Barbara visited Cole only once in 27 years, whereas Cole had made special effort to visit her several times. Cole's wife's family treats him more like family than his own.
{{clear}}

==Relationship with Chris==
[[Image:0468-CWC&JCS.jpg|thumb|The half-brothers hold their hands the same way on Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Ironically, Cole actually gets along much better with Chris than with either Bob or Barb (or at least he used to; it's unclear whether the two are still in regular contact), and possibly better than with any of his other direct relatives. Then again, when you don't actually know ''who'' your paternal relatives are, you have to take what you can get.

Cole was not around when Chris was growing up. Being nineteen years older, he was in California making a life for himself. Cole said that Barbara and Bob neglected Chris for years with the [[abusive babysitter]], which suggests that Chris's muteness in early life was their fault.

Cole visited for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday party]] in [[2000]]. Later in the same year, for Cole's 37th birthday, Chris made him ''A CD For Cole Smithey!'' Naturally, the present had little to do with Cole and [[Chris and his Ego|everything to do with Chris]], even featuring a picture of him on the cover. Chris further taints the CD by attempting to talk like a DJ.

Chris visited Cole in California at some point, the only time Chris has been on an airplane and one of only two times that he has left [[Virginia]] (the other being his trip to Ohio to save "[[Julie]]").

In [[July 2007]], Chris sent an e-mail asking for Cole's vote in the [[Chop Chop Onion's Rap Showdown|''PaRappa'' contest]]. In return, Cole asked Chris to find out the truth about his father from Barbara. The timing of this request was probably not a coincidence, as Ran Coleman Yeatts, his presumed father, had died a month beforehand.<ref>[http://ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com/ United States Social Security Death Index]</ref> Chris did ask his mother about it, but she lied once again. Chris was more interested in the ''PaRappa'' contest than his brother's plight, showing just how self-absorbed he truly is. This resulted in Cole becoming even more bitter towards both Chris and Barbara. Suffice to say, Cole did not vote for Chris.

===Cole in the comics===
Strangely, though, Chris still found a way to put his brother into his mess. According to the [[CWCipedia]] profile for [[Rosechu]], there is a "Professor Cole" listed, being the one who gave [[Kel]] the [[Wikipedia:Pichu|Pichu]] who would become Rosechu. This means that even his half-brother is stuck in [[CWCville]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
Image:045-ColeCD.jpg|''A CD For Cole Smithey!''
Image:046-ColeCDIn.jpg|As if Barbara had any involvement with the CD.
</gallery></center>

==Sources==
<references />

==External links==
* [http://www.colesmithey.com ColeSmithey.com]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author/author-3041/ Cole at Rotten Tomatoes]
* [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1716056/2/meet_a_critic_cole_smithey_the_new_york_writer_with_a_rock_n_roll_past Rotten Tomatoes interviews Cole.]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_tmTKDDOk4&feature=mh_lolz&list=HL1315402139 Cole Smithey acting in a Gaumont produced student film shot in Cannes during the '92 Festival. ]

{{Not_Jerks}}
{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Smithey, Cole}}
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:People]]

Wes Iseli

2011-10-13T03:21:32Z

Mister R: /* In real life */

[[Image:WesIseli2.jpg|thumb|Wes Iseli, party magician, charity worker, married man, and evil hedgehog.]]
{{quote|Wes is a magician and regretfully, [[Sarah Nicole Hammer|Sarah's]] boyfriend. Because of this, Christian is very jealous and dislikes him much.|[[:Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Wes Iseli ''Animal Crossing'' card]]}}

'''Wes Iseli''' (pronounced [wɛs ˈaɪzli])<ref>[[Mumble 4]], around 22 minutes in</ref> [[Emily|briefly dated]] [[Sarah Hammer]], Chris's long-time [[gal-pal]]. Wes is a magician in real life (available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and [[Michael Snyder|bar mitzvahs]]) and is currently married to another woman.

Although [[trolls]] have been trying to contact Wes ever since they found his various online accounts, he hasn't offered any official statements on [[Chris]] or his involvement in [[Sonichu (comic)|the comics]]. Apparently, he doesn't feel the need to talk shit about some guy he barely knew just because he was jealous of Wes's relationship with an ex-girlfriend of his.

== In real life ==
Wes Iseli was known to have dated Sarah Hammer at some point during Chris's [[Manchester High School|High School]] years. Chris claims to have originally been provoked into his [[Love Quest]] after seeing Sarah sitting on Wes's lap and becoming [[Chris and anger|enraged]]. Much like with [[Mary Lee Walsh]], this lead to a one sided blood feud with him, and he began to see Wes as a romantic rival and an enemy, even though Sarah saw Chris as nothing more than a friend and Wes himself probably barely even knew Chris as anything other than "that autistic kid Sarah hangs out with".

The trio of [[Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and [[Black Sonichu]] in Chris's early ideas before the comic started, existed to represent the "hero, lover and rival" triangle that Chris believed himself, Sarah and Wes to fulfill as well, with Chris [[Ego|obviously]] cast as the hero, and Wes as the villain. This is evident in the [[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]] story, in which he represented himself and Sarah as Sonichu and Rosechu, and when Wes was brought up in passing, Chris included a drawing of Blake holding a magic wand and magician's hat, complete with helpful annotation pointing out that he was evil. Chris would later come up with unique Sonichu forms for himself, Wes and Sarah instead of using Sonichu, Rosechu and Blake as stand-ins, and these new Sonichu forms would go on to be featured in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comics]].

Chris also included avatars of Wes in his homemade ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' and ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' cards, for both his human form and his Sonichu form in each, (though in the ''Yu-Gi-Oh!'' cards the human Wes Iseli was just named as "A [[Jerk]]").

== In the comic ==
[[File:Wls.PNG|right|thumb|Wes-Li is pissed.]]

As the author of the comic, when Chris first made [[Sonichu 2|Sonichu #2]] he was given the unique opportunity to [[Chris and reality|revise his personal history with Wes]] at his leisure. Comic Wes differs from his real life counterpart in that whilst the real Wes Iseli broke up with Sarah, moved on, married another woman, probably forgot Chris ever existed and is now [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcybvGOvmrY running a charity which helps fight Parkinson's Disease], Comic Wes appears to have [[Chris and his Ego|held a grudge against Chris]] ever since he first met him while he was dating Sarah, in spite of Chris having nothing he wanted and him having no reason to even care about Chris. Dialouge also indicates that he was still dating Sarah by the time the trio first gained their powers, as Sarah "breaks up" with him halfway through Episode 8.

=== Wesley Iseli/Walter Grisby ===
[[Image:WesIseliAsperchu.jpg|thumb|left|Suffice to say, Wes Iseli was much more badass in ''[[Asperchu]]''.]]

Wes Iseli (later [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retconned]] as "'''Walter Grisby'''") was one of the chosen three of the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], alongside [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Sarah Hammer]]. Wes learned that he was the descendant of the [[Wasabi Clan]], and upon gaining his powers his own ancestor implored him to take vengeance upon the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]], who was now Chris. Wes, knowing of Chris's jealousy towards him, accepts.

He later finds both Chris and [[Sonichu]] out on the "rough terrain" just outside [[CWCville]], and the two fight, not only over their current fued, but also over the Cherokee/Wasabi war in the ancient past, over the [[Cherokian Crown]]. Wes grabs the crown out of thin air during the fight, (implying that he had stolen it from Chris though this is never shown), and eventually the fight ends when Sarah appears and impales Wes against a tree with a lightning arrow, just as he was about to defeat Chris. Sarah breaks up with him, he whines a bit, [[Chris and hypocrisy|Chris tells him to suck it up and move on]], and he then unites with Chris and Sarah to defeat the [[Wikipedia:Golem|golem]] summoned by [[Mary Lee Walsh]] and [[Count Graduon]].
[[Image:Sonichu05-P12.jpg|right|thumb|Wes-Li Sonichu apparently [[Chris and art|grows to about 20 feet tall]], does an [[Wikipedia:Edward G. Robinson|Edward G. Robinson]] impression, and kidnaps [[Sarah Hammer]] in [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu'' #5]]]]

In [[Sonichu 5|''Sonichu #5'']] he appeared again to use his magical powers to kidnap Sarah at her wedding to [[William Spicer]]. This being the early days of the [[Megan]] Saga, Chris drew heavily from anime inspirations in this issue, so Chris and Wes did battle via [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|children's card games]] rather than an actual fight. He still fails nonetheless, proving for a second time that Wes was a superior fighter to him, but he is saved by [[Sailor Megtune]] and [[Megagi La Skunk]], and the wedding continues without issue.

Iseli was briefly seen in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu #7'']], attending the conference of villains following Christian's disappearance into the [[Time Void]]. Given that the conference was ran by Mary and Count Graduon, the evil who Wes was destined to defeat alongside Chris and Sarah, it's clear that at some point here the prophecy went horribly, horribly wrong. Not that this is ever addressed of course.

Wes was last seen in the comic in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], appearing on a grand total of two pages. First early in the issue, where he was seen scouting around the city in preparation for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PVCC]] attack, assisted by [[Reldnahc Ha-Taque]] and [[Silvana]], and later on again, when he calls Mary and tells her that a magic dome was protecting the [[CWCville Mall]] from attack, and that they needed Mary to come down there personally to get through. He is never seen fighting in this issue, and it is the last time he is seen.

Still to this day, Wes's final fate remains unknown. Whether he was counted among the brainwashing victims freed by Chris or not has never been stated, and depending on whether or not Wes was acting of his own free will in helping Mary and the PVCC, he may or may not be the last surviving villain other than [[Clawdorf]] and [[Metal Sonichu]] after the [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] purge.

===Wes-Li Sonichu===
[[Image:FlameSnipers.jpg|thumb|right|Wes-li's Flame Sniper (left) compared to Sailor Mars' Flame Sniper (right).]]

Wes-Li Sonichu (pronounced [wɛzlaɪ], "Wez-lie", according to Chris's [[videobooks]], and as "Wesley" according to the [[Audiobooks]]) is the [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] form of Wes Iseli when he is transformed by the Fireshock Pendant empowered by the [[Anchuent Prophecy]]. Although the prophecy foretold that Wes-Li, [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Chris-Chan]], and [[Saramah Rosechu|Saramah]] would work together to defeat [[Count Graduon]], Wes's spitefulness toward Chris and his bitterness at having been rejected by [[Sarah Hammer]] would lead him to use his powers for evil.

Prior to the retcon, Wes-Li was a passable pun. With the name change, it makes absolutely no sense that a person named "Walter Grisby" would have an alter ego that does not resemble his name in any way - unless one knows the background of this character.

As he is not seen as much, Wes-Li Sonichu does not have the vast selection of powers that Chris-Chan Sonichu does. He is however, seen using the Pokémon moves Fire Blast, Flamethrower, Mega Kick and Sky Uppercut, as well as a move known as the Flame Sniper, in which he uses a bow and arrow made of fire to shoot at a target. The name and attack itself are another rip off from [[Sailor Moon]]. With help from Chris-Chan and Saramah, Wes-Li can also use the "Team Blast: Blue Fireball Attack", but being the stupid Deus Ex Machina finishing move it is, the attack is used only once to destroy Graduon's golem and is never used again. It is also ripped off from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Heroes]]''.

=== Wasabi Rival ===
[[File:Wasabi rival.jpg|100px|thumb|left|The Wasabi Rival or the Pope? YOU DECIDE!]]

The Wasabi Rival was the ancient alter ego of Wes Iseli in the ''Sonichu'' comics. According to ''[[Sonichu 2]]'', the [[Wasabi Clan]] were contemporaries of the Ancient Cherokee. One of the Wasabi, presumably a leader figure of some sort, somehow determined that stealing the [[Cherokian Crown]] from his [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan|rival]] would allow him and his tribe to rule the world. This led to a bitter rivalry between the ambitious Wasabi man and the Cherokian Leader. Despite their differences, the Cherokian Leader and his Wasabi Rival were eventually able to forge a temporary alliance against the greater menace of [[Count Graduon]]. Together, the Wasabi and Cherokee defeated Graduon, imprisoning him within a magic sceptre for centuries.

Years later, when the [[Anchuent Prophecy]] was at last fulfilled, the Wasabi Rival appeared in a vision to his reincarnation, Wes Iseli, in order to instruct him in use of the Fireshock Pendant. It's never explained quite how the Rival was able to communicate with his future self in such a way, but he apparently does. He then teaches Wes how to use all his powers and sends him off to his first battle.

Notably, even though the entire reason Wes had the powers at all was because Count Graduon had come back and needed to be stopped again, something the Wasabi Rival should have known was the priority at that moment, he still told Wes to go after Chris and steal the [[Cherokian Crown]] anyway. Either that crown is ''really, really important'', or the Wasabi Rival just enjoys being a douche from beyond the grave.
{{-}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:290-ACWes.jpg|Human Wes. Note that everything is on fire behind him.
Image:291-ACWesBck.jpg|Page quote is from this card.
File:Wes.PNG|Another drawing of Wes that, of course, [[Chris and art|doesn't look anything like the first one]]. Note the Fireshock Pendant and rabbit in a hat.
Image:295-WesLi.jpg|Flame on, bitch!
Image:140-AJerk.jpg|Chris, ripping himself off.
Image:296-FireshockPendant.jpg|Fireshock Pendant
Image:294-YuWesLi.jpg|It's just not as impressive without the flame background.
Image:292-ACWesLi.jpg|And even less so with the ''Animal Crossing'' logo.
Image:293-ACWesLiBck.jpg|Notice how the human Wes has no star sign but Wes-Li does?
</gallery>

== Sources ==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://partymagic.50megs.com/ Old magic site]
* [http://wesiseli.com/ New magic site]
* [http://www.youtube.com/wesleyiseli YouTube account]
* [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1205570207 Facebook]

{{Sonichu}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Iseli, Wes}}
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]

Chris and sex

2011-10-11T21:34:35Z

Mister R: /* Beastiality */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]). Given Chris's [[Virgin with rage|complete lack of sexual experience]], whether or not he actually knows what femdom is is anyone's guess.

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a [[Obesity|fat, dumpy]] psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|feces]] mixed with [[Axe]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it.<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public,<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> showing that, for Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

It should be noted though that in his Rule 34 drawings most of Chris's characters tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender.<ref>See for example the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8 and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]].</ref> This might suggest that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex but more due to [[Tomgirl pictures|identifying with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|fat ass]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
It is possible that Chris only claims to be STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active heterosexuals. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most single men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most boys figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate".
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, it makes him straight.

Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" /> It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as [[homos]]exuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the [[Mailbag]] responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Beastiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against beastiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't beastiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. It is heavily implied that Chris [[Mass Debating|masturbates]] while drawing these pictures.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the [[Megan]] saga all the way to [[PandaHalo]]. Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies. Due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] to commit the act, it is highly unlikely that Chris will ever rape anyone.

Despite this reassurance, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Chris and sex

2011-10-11T21:33:47Z

Mister R: /* Bestiality */

{{Honest}}
[[Chris]] has a warped view of '''sexual intercourse''' (a.k.a. '''hanky-panky'''), mostly stemming from stunted sexual development and a sheltered upbringing. He first developed an understanding of sex from watching softcore porn on the HBO network around age 16. He describes pornographic films as "educational".<ref>[[Miyamoto Saga#Chris Sets the Record STRAIGHT]]</ref>

== Knowledge of sex and gender ==
[[Image:Thenightmarecontinues.jpg|thumb|Seven inches? Yeah, right.]]
In his mind, Chris has mastered all there is to know about sex, and now regards himself as a bit of a guru. He has said that kissing a woman is "magical and delightful... sweet and melting like ice cream or chocolate", a description he stole from ''[[Sailor Moon]]''.<ref>[[Mailbag 18#He might as well be talking about how to pilot the space shuttle|Mailbag 18]]</ref> In truth, Chris has never kissed a girl.<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2">[[Jackie E-mails 2]]</ref>

What he knows about sex he's picked up from rudimentary [[Manchester High School|high-school]] [[Dating education|sex education]] or [[pornography]]. This has engendered many false beliefs in Chris which he sticks to religiously. Readers who brave [[Chris Sex Logs|his sex chat logs]] should be able to immediately notice what's going wrong — Chris's fantasies are merely recreations of what he's seen in porno movies, rather than plausible sexual experiences. For example, he believed that [[Kacey]] would get off to a brutal tit-fucking followed by load after load of semen to the face.<ref>[[Kacey Phone Call]]</ref>

Other examples of Chris's crude misconceptions about sex abound. He mimics female porn stars' sex positions, spreads an imaginary vagina a yard across,<ref name="JR Eyes">[[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]]</ref> and thinks that electric shocks to the vagina are pleasurable.<ref name="Cums cat">[[CWC Cums for a Cat]]</ref> He also seems to believe that a woman's vagina is higher up on the woman's body that it actually is;<ref>[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/File:SchuComicSP3P7.jpg]</ref> this is undoubtedly due to his experience with [[Kimmi]] and [[Officer Nasty]]. The "missionary cowgirl" position mentioned in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]] is a contradiction in terms. He can't even get the most basic double entendres correct, wearing a "receiver's" terrible Mountain Dew parody shirt thinking it's an invitation for women to try and ride [[Duck|his broken penis]].<ref name="JR Eyes" /> He thinks that his [[virgin]]ity is a precious and sought-after treasure which women will come in droves to take (he even went so far as to use it as a bargaining chip to haggle with a prostitute), and believes that [[mass debating|masturbating]] ultimately makes him better at sex.

Due to the combined threat of his somewhat [[Chris and English|slippery grip on language]] and his peculiar mindset on sex, Chris is noticeably confused about basic sexual terminology; for example, in [[Ivy Q&A#Threats|Ivy Q&A]] it's mentioned that Chris told Ivy that he had a "sticky dream" about her. When Ivy asked if he meant a wet dream, he replied, "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!" While he may have the best of intentions, his word choices unwittingly present him in a very bad light. He refuses to use familiar terms — either medical or slang — for sex organs, instead calling penises "[[duck]]s" and "[[pickle]]s", and vaginas and vulvae "[[china]]".

According to [[Calling_Out#Calling_Out_Jack_Thaddius_-_Ahuviya|a video]] published in [[August 2011]], Chris enjoys female domination (going as far as to draw Sonichu and Rosechu performing the act in [[Sonichu 10]]). Given Chris's [[Virgin with rage|complete lack of sexual experience]], whether or not he actually knows what femdom is is anyone's guess.

===Chris and gender===
Among his more generally skewed view of gender roles, Chris has a distinctly sexist outlook towards [[Women's rights|women]]. Based on his failed attempts at getting girls at the mall, he has concluded that all girls are [[Boyfriend-free girl|already paired up]], [[Homos|lesbians]], or distracted with shopping. The notion that they might have good reasons for spurning his advances does not occur to him. He can’t seem to acknowledge the possibility that women just might not be drawn to a [[Obesity|fat, dumpy]] psycho, carrying an "[[attraction sign]]" and the unpleasant aroma of [[Dirty Crapped Briefs|feces]] mixed with [[Axe]].

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], he referred to women as another species. While at times it may seem as if women are from another planet, they are still classified as ''Homo sapiens'', just like manchildren.

Chris has an interesting grasp of stereotypical gay and straight behavior, too, insisting he's straight even as he acts like a mincing crossdressing homosexual. This can be explained by his [[autism|lack of empathy or ability to pick up on social cues]], but given his reaction to being told he looks gay is to scream "NO I'M NOT!" and ignore anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever learn.

== Moral basis on sex and double standards ==
[[Image:DatingEducation.jpg|thumb|250px|69ing? Intercourse? ''Really''? In a ''children's'' comic? Because they should know all about this stuff.]]
{{quote|You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: but I say to you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.|Matthew 5:27-28}}

Sex as viewed through Chris's eyes is dictated by the Bible. Chris is very strict on keeping to the word of God when homosexuality is the topic, vehemently stating that he ''hates'' [[homos]], but not hesitating to view lesbian porn and approve of it.<ref>[[CWC's Second Message]]</ref> This logic probably stems from an episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' where one of Meg's friends states that lesbianism is a choice, while male homosexuality isn't. This comment was intended as a joke, but like most satire, it flew right over Chris's head. Another violation of his Christian morals is the fact that he plans on losing his virginity on the [[Third date|third or fourth date]] with his true [[sweetheart]] (read: first girl who will last three dates with Chris). Well, guess that the whole “no sex till marriage thing” doesn’t matter that much now, does it?

The Bible also frowns upon [[Nudes|pornographers]], of which he is guilty and holds no visible [[remorse]]. These double standards cause many trolls to despise him, seeing as he selectively chooses what to dogmatize and what is OK.

Despite people pointing out these contradictions, even quoting passages of the Bible, he will deny it. This is partially because he goes to [[Wesley Memorial|a very liberal church]], and any question about premarital sex is interpreted quite liberally by [[Rocky]].{{cite}} When Chris asks Rocky about passages quoted to him by [[troll]]s, she only fuels his cafeteria Christianity by saying things like sex before marriage is okay as long as the couple is in love, which is wrong by Christian doctrine.<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> Chris picks and chooses what parts of Christian doctrine suit his own prejudices, and disregards the ones that would interfere with his [[Love Quest|Fuck Quest]].

Chris seems to consider a female sexual partner as a rubber stamp over his (alleged) sexual orientation. Flying in the face of any moral system he ever held, he announced his desire to upload on the Internet a video of his first full sexual intercourse.<ref>[[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#The Introduction Image Space is NOT Ad Space (CCS)]]</ref> After further prodding, he added that he would simply hide the camera, record the event without her consent and blur her face before making the video public,<ref>[[Mailbag 31#In which Chris crosses yet another line]]</ref> showing that, for Chris, [[Women's rights|a woman is just a living, sentient sex-toy]], existing only to validate him as a heterosexual.

==Chris in the act==
[[Image:JULAY-small.gif|frame|right|Christian professing his love for "[[Julie]]".]]
Leaked tapes of Chris's audio sex with [[Julie]], and the infamous [[sex tape]] with [[Kimmi]] shed light on Chris as he acts out on his fantasies. In particular, the sex tape shows how Chris assumes ''female'' positions, notably riding on top of Kimmi in a scene straight out of a porno. It seems that Chris's entirety of knowledge about sexual relationships stems from ignoring the men in pornography (due to fear of becoming a [[homo]]).

It should be noted though that in his Rule 34 drawings most of Chris's characters tend to assume positions which are fitting for their gender.<ref>See for example the [[Sonichu 8#The uncensored scenes|uncensored panels]] from Sonichu 8 and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]].</ref> This might suggest that Chris adopts female positions not so much due to ignorance regarding sex but more due to [[Tomgirl pictures|identifying with the opposite gender]].

Chris's view of cunnilingus, put on horrific display in [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], involves slobbering all over a woman's vagina. Despite all his knowledge of porn, he fails to see how cunnilingus is more than just slobbering, but proper tongue action to stimulate the clitoris.

In the leaked media, Chris displays that he may have some issues with delayed orgasm. This can either be physiological (bent [[duck]], [[Obesity|fat ass]], lack of endurance) or psychological (performance anxiety, high expectations, intrusive [[homos|homoerotic]] thoughts, subconscious guilt about sex) in nature.

==Staying straight==
''See [[Homos#Fear of being a homo|Fear of being a homo]]''

==Is Chris asexual?==
It is possible that Chris only claims to be STRAIGHT due to the overwhelming portrayal in the media of men being sexually active heterosexuals. This could also explain some of his twisted views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity.

* He has the idea he must "maintain" his straightness, much like how he must regularly change the oil in the [[Son-Chu|Sonichu-mobile]]. While it could be that he is gay deep down inside, it can also be argued that he has no major sexual compulsions of any kind, and is just trying to induce them through [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|external sources]]. Why else would he have to try so hard?
* According to himself, Chris only masturbates twice a week, and states that it's only to keep his "[[Mass debating#Frequency|hormones under control]]," while most single men masturbate daily, sometimes more (though this could be because he's so out of shape that [[Chris and health#Exercise|the act of masturbation tires him out]]).
* Chris did not discover masturbation until the age of 16, while most boys figure it out once they hit puberty (around 11). 16 was also the age where he pretty much discovered sex.
* Chris's interest in finding a [[sweetheart]] appears to have been spurred on by a desire for companionship, as opposed to a desire for a sexual relationship. This is supported by his constant emphasis on being "lonely," as well as requiring his heartsweet to be "caring and compassionate".
* While his creepy attempts at touching/kissing [[Megan]] and [[Emily|other]] [[Kacey|girls]] would indicate some form of sexuality, it could be part of his limited perception of what it means to be a sexually active adult, or just pure and simple attempts at being straight under the rationale that if he does this to a woman, it makes him straight.

Some autistics simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and [[Wikipedia:Hugbox|hugbox]] inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). It's possible that Chris genuinely does not understand why two people would want to get together and have sexual intercourse, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is a rite of passage to becoming a big boy.

After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his [[CWCipedia]] page on [[Damien Antaria (CWCipedia Page)|The Wallflower]], he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when [[Jackie]] implied that he liked [[video games]] more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and misses her point completely).<ref name="Jackie E-mails 2" /> It is now possible that Chris finds asexual people to be as bad as [[homos]]exuals, judging by both remarks (not to mention he aforementioned disdain from the [[Mailbag]] responses).

==Pedophilia==
{{main|Pedofork}}

==Beastiality==
{{quote|I can imagine myself doing it with a [[Patti-chan|collie]] at least. you know, like Lassie.|Chris in [[IRC (27 December 2008)]]}}
[[File:PattiLuv.jpg|thumb|[[Patti-chan|Run Patti!]]]]
[[File:Super-mode.jpg|thumb|left|90px|Chris, sporting a [[ECV 00002‎|homemade fursuit]].]]

In his [[Chris-chan Discusses...‎|interview with ScrewAttackEurope]], Chris says he's against bestiality, then hoists himself by his own petard by claiming that Sonichu & co. are not "half-humans" but "all-animals" with human form. Technically, this isn't bestiality, as they're animals having sex with each other, not humans having sex with animals. It is heavily implied that Chris [[Mass Debating|masturbates]] while drawing these pictures.

Chris has also suggested that Brian from ''[[Family Guy]]'' be paired up with "any sexy breed" of dog.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy#Story_of_the_CWC_Episode_for_.22Family_Guy.22 Family Guy Article on the CWCipedia]</ref>
===Is Chris a furry?===
Whether or not Chris can actually be considered a furry is still debated.<ref>From [[Sarah May Skype Logs#Chris tries to leave|the Sarah May Skype Logs]]: [7:17:25] '''Sarah May''': Did you feel sexually aroused when you drew them? [7:17:34] '''Christopher C.W.C.''': a bit.</ref> There are some things that points in that direction. [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] is in many ways similar to a fursona. Chris has also used the character while cybering with [[Julie]].<ref name="Cums cat" /> Finally, in the [[Giant Penis Comic]], Chris and [[Ivy]] both morph into fursonas during the act of sex. However, it has been confirmed by [[Mimms]] and [[Lucas]] that Chris has prejudice against furries, not because of who they are, but because many furries tend to be [[homos]].<ref>[[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Racism and homophobia]]</ref>
{{-}}

==Prostitution==
{{quote|"In my sarch [''sic''] on [[Wikipedia:Craigslist|Craigslist]], the ONLY women who left a phone number on their Ad were under "Adult Services", which they would have wanted money. I tried calling one, learned she wanted a hundred, then in the middle of telling my story about [[Jack]] and my [[PSN]] account recovery with a Sex video, she hung up on me. :("|Chris, wasting a prostitute's time{{cite}}}}

Given how badly Chris seems to want to lose his [[virgin]]ity, many observers have wondered why he hasn't long since spent some of his [[monthly tugboat]] on a prostitute. [[Mumble 4]], from [[February 2009]], answered that question for a while. There, Chris explained that paying for sex would render the act "meaningless," and he was afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Needs must as the devil drives, though. While being blackmailed by [[Jack Thaddeus]] in the summer of [[2009]], Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked [[PlayStation Network]] accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him. Chris was apparently trying to get free sex from the hooker with long, rambling stories about his horrible life to try and gain sympathy. He was genuinely shocked when she didn't offer to fuck him out of pity, unaware that prostitutes, by definition, only have sex with men for money.

Previously, in [[March 2009]], [[Brian Bash]] had sent a trio of prostitutes to [[14 Branchland Court|Chris's house]] so he would no longer be a virgin with rage. [[Hooker incident|Hilarity ensued]].

By the beginning of [[2010]], Chris's views on prostitution had further softened. According to his [[Vivian Gee E-mails 2|conversations with Vivian Gee]], around the turn of the year he was attempting to save $100 out of his monthly budget to buy himself a whore for his 28th [[birthday]]. This, presumably, was the "hundred dollars for a damn hooker" he referred to when [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|begging the Wallflower for sex]] on YouTube in [[March 2010]].

Between [[April 2010|April]] and [[July 2010]], under the name of [[Carlos Chantor]], Chris tried to offer himself up as a male escort. He described himself as "[[Chris and reality|Experienced for Her Pleasure]]", with an [[obesity|average]] body type.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 6]]</ref>

Later, under the guise of his troll persona [[JenkinsJinkies]], Chris attempted to acquire the contact details of the hookers Brian Bash had previously hired. While it is possible that Chris merely wished to make his disguise more convincing by implying that 14 year old Jenkins wished to hire prostitutes, it seems far more likely that Chris actually was considering hiring Brian's girls.

==Incest==
{{incomplete}}

[[Crystal Weston Chandler (sister)|Crystal]], his imaginary twin sister, appeared as a "girlfriend" card he made for ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'', and her attractiveness and desirability are brought up several times in the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'']] comics well after being established as Chris's twin. Chris has shown complete ignorance in matters incestuous before; his [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]] are all related, but many of them are paired off with one-another, banging and some even [[Sonichu and Rosechu's Children|having kids]]. Being raised without siblings present, he has no experience with filial relationships, and [[autism]] ensures he has no inkling of what it entails. He didn't even know the word, let alone the concept, of "incest" until someone mentioned and explained it to him.<ref>[[Mumble 1]]</ref> He has trouble contemplating why incest is wrong when, to him, [[china]] is china. Only brother-brother incest is wrong because it is [[homosexual]] in nature. He doesn't understand why sister-sister incest would be bad, because it involves [[Gaybian|girl-on-girl]].

==Rape==

{{Protip|Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever manage to rape anybody, so stop saying that.}}

Chris has a poor understanding of the effects of rape, starting from the [[Megan]] saga all the way to [[PandaHalo]]. Misguided trolls claim that Chris will one day try to rape someone due to his stalker tendencies. Due to his warped view of romance and [[Power|inability to pin someone down long enough]] to commit the act, it is highly unlikely that Chris will ever rape anyone.

Despite this reassurance, it's no less discomforting to know that despite whatever personal feelings he has on the act, he seems to have trouble understanding what non-consensual contact is. As evidenced in [[iPods Down and Listen Up]], he doesn't seem to realize that his improvised lyrics detail a sexual act that would almost certainly be construed by others as rape- the idea of letting his "prey" wear herself out before moving on her may not have registered to Chris as sounding wrong.

==See also==
*[[Homos]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Mass debating]]
*[[Duck]]
*[[Pickle]]
*[[Chris and his ego]]
*[[Chris Sex Logs]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{Chris and}}

Family Guy

2011-10-11T21:18:36Z

Mister R:

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is a shitty animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics, much like the show rips off everything else.

The series is also the "inspiration" for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his "skitch" in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, poorly drawn, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least "borrowing") themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his comics (see [[:Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg|here]]).

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of equality or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100_2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the plot he posted on the CWCipedia.

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos|homosexuality]] and his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]]. Also, the tower incident that [[Chris]] is referring to takes place in the movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. However, Chris is wrong about it causing Stewie to be straight. This is because it is pretty obviously hinted in this movie that he is gay, as he is a virgin at 30, still shows very flamboyant tendencies and is very reluctant to have sex with a woman.

Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Kick the Autistic

2011-08-30T18:35:40Z

Mister R: /* Literally */

<center>[[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]][[Image:Asspielogo2.png]][[Image:Asspielogo.png]]</center>
[[Image:KickTheAutisticWii.jpg|thumb|Now for the [[Nintendo]] Wii!]]

'''Kick the Autistic''' is the world's favorite game. This is the act of doing anything [[Chris]] doesn't like. It is very probable he has done this in the past to get "[[sex|speshul treatment]]" from "Young Ladies."

==Variations==
There are many known variations of the game, and we will go through the most effective.

===Artistic Style===
Enter a competition of artistry where Chris also competes, and [[Honor roll|out-talent him]]. This is usually easily done by showing any competence at all. Favored by [[Manchester High School#Graduation|his fellow students]] and [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|that no-good Adam Stackhouse]]. Beware: Chris may [[CWC is Angry|get grumpy and shoot at your photograph.]] Or beat you up in [[Soul Calibur]].

===Chris Style===
Set yourself up as one of the most visible and recognized representatives of autism within [[Chris and the Internet|internet]] culture. [[Chris and negotiation|Act like an entitled child]] and [[Chris and Sex|develop]] horrifying [[recycling|perversions]], which you discuss on [[YouTube]]. Give other autistic people a bad reputation by association. There is a 100% chance this will result in them trolling you.

===[[Blanca]] Style===
Take the time to befriend Chris and pretend you are a [[Boyfriend Free Girl]] until Chris trusts you. Then get Chris to give you something of value to him, and destroy it.

===[[Jimmy Hill]] Style===
Chris is very funny about the material which he has plagiarized. If you are an artist troll or just bored, plagiarize Chris's plagiarized comics. He will throw a fit and "take legal action against you if not removed by 14 days." Oh wait, YOU CAN'T [[Parody|COPYRIGHT UNORIGINAL CHARACTERS]] DIPSHIT.

===[[Sweetheart]] Style===
Chris is of the completely clueless type, and will trust anyone <s>with a little bit of time</s> who claims to have a [[China|china]]. Pretend to befriend Chris, and when you have gained his trust, tell him to do something lulzy. Say you are a woman who is turned on at the thought of him drinking his own [[semen]]. Once this happens, put the goods up on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and wait for the lulz to come pouring in.

===[[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickleman]] Style===
Somehow meet up with Chris while wearing a pickle suit. He will be bewildered by it and powerless to act.

===[[The Miscreants|Miscreant]] Style===
Set [[Sonichu|events]] in motion that will keep Chris from [[Virgin with rage|ever getting laid.]] Physically [[Chris and health|weaken]] him so that he can't even rape women to lose his virginity, or do anything else for that matter. Extra points for [[Jimmy Hill|clouding]] [[BlueSpike|his]] [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|judgement.]] As an added "fuck you," send <s>an impostor</s> [[Liquid Chris|The True and Honest Christian Weston Chandler]] to swipe [[Kacey|his sweetheart.]]

Keep doing this for the rest of his life, then send him to Hell where he'll be trolled for all eternity... or reincarnated as a pickle... whichever.

The current champion of this style is Chris himself.

===[[Liquid]] Style===
<s>Pretend that you are the</s> Be the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of [[Sonichu]], the electric hedgehog Pokémon. Upload videos on [[YouTube]] detailing your many encounters with [[Clyde Cash]] and your success at attracting a boyfriend free girl. Brag about the millions you have earned thanks to Sonichu, and try to conquer the Sonichu media empire that is rightfully yours.

Alec Benson Leary of [[Asperchu]] has used a similar tactic, to much the same effect. Bonus points for buying ad space on the [[CWCipedia]].

===[[Michael Snyder]] Style===
[[List of places that have banned Chris|Ban]] him from [[The GAMe PLACe|an establishment]] for being the [[Chris and hypocrisy|entitled]], [[Chris and anger|angry]], [[Chris and his Ego|self-obsessed]], [[death threats|dangerous]] manchild that he is. Quite correctly [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|never let him back in]]. '''WARNING''': This will probably result in Chris [[6 June 2010|coming to the store]] to [[pedofork|take pictures of your daughter]] and [[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD|attempting to murder]] you with [[Son-Chu|his mother's car]].

===Literally===
One day, Chris will say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time, and they will literally kick the shit out of him. On that day trolls will shed tears of joy, and once again feel as if there is some sort of justice in the world. That being said, no reasonable troll should ever use physical violence to harm Chris, as there's no need to expend any sort of effort on him and it's not worth giving Chris something he could actually call the police over. (Plus, that would mean [[Chris and health#Hygiene|touching him]].) It will be much sweeter when he gets his ass handed to him by a random angry [[Niggos|African American]] or someone with an [[homos|alternate life-style]]. Hell it wouldn't even be surprising if like minded Virginians not taking kindly to Tomgirls do. Even greater will be the day when he gets a little too touchy with a [[boyfriend-free girl]] and gets a face full of mace.

Examples of literally kicking the autistic include: The teachers at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]] (barely), [[Jerkops]] (probably exaggerated) and [[Niggos#Conflicts_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|TJ from GAMe PLACe]] (almost).

However, Chris has never experienced any real physical pain in his entire life. His parents never raised a finger against him, there is no record of him being grounded, or punished in any significant way even after he was [[Bob Walks In|caught masturbating in the kitchen]]. The only exception to this is when [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]] tried to teach him how to roller-skate. Chris fell down, got a boo-boo, ran home to [[Barbara Chandler|mommy]], and vowed to never again even try to roller-skate, or, apparently, to do anything active at all.

Ever since the [[Twin Falling Towers|9/11 video]], it is believed that Chris may become the subject of a game of Kick the Autistic, featuring a guest team from the [[Wikipedia:United_States_Marine_Corps|Semper Fi Brotherhood]].

==Uses by Chris==
Recorded examples of this particular CWC-ism include the following:

*In the e-mail he sent to Sony after losing [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], Chris blamed his failure on "AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC!'"
*At the same time, in his first [[PSN Blogs|PSN blog entry]] cursing [[Adam Stackhouse]], he bitched and mixed his metaphors about how "I have been the dog in America's favorite game, 'KICK THE AUTISTIC' for my whole life."
*After finding out that [[PandaHalo|Panda]] was a troll during [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], Chris whined, "And so, the world continues to play the world's favorite game of 'Kick the Autistic'."
*Addressing [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] users on 21 January 2008, Chris wrote ''"And if you have so much free time to play the cruelest game of "KICK THE AUTISTIC", then you CAN and SHOULD put the time to better use; volunteer for a social chore; take up the culture in tasteful art; go out and socialize."''
*A variation was used in Chris's second version of [[It's UGH!#Remake|Ok2bgay]], with Chris opening the video with the words "Merry Kickmas".

==Conclusion==
Remember kids, Kick the Autistic is everyone's favorite game and can be replayed over and over with Chris. He just never learns.

==See also==
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] - Video game president, hoping to release Kick the Autistic on all major Nintendo consoles in time for Christmas.
*[[Troll]]

==External links==
*[http://www.pictogame.com/en/play/game/bq1o8yBlHtPu_cwc-in-kick-the-autistic Click to play!!]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]][[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Christian Weston Chandler

2011-08-30T18:32:45Z

Mister R:

:''This article is about Chris himself. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For all other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]]. ''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For Chandler's view on Christianty, see [[Chris and Religion]].''

{{Honest}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Birth Name'''
| Christopher Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Full Name'''
| "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Chris-chan Chris Chan Chris Tran Ricardo Weston Chandler CWC [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] Solid Chris Chrissy [[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]] [[Carlos Chantor]] [[Kaka Makeup Basics|Kaka]] ''[[Homos|Homo]] virginicus'' [[Jackie_Chat_6|Chunky Monkey Man]]
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| [[Birthday|24 February]] [[1982]]
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Male (1982-2011) [[Tomgirl]] (2011-present)
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
| '''Height'''
| 5'10" (1.78 m)
|-
| '''Weight'''
| Approximately [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]]
|-
| '''Parents'''
| [[Bob]] [[Barbara]]
|-
| '''Education'''
| [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] ([[CADD]])
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
| Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) [[Wendy's]] employee ([[2001]]) [[Cutco]] salesman ([[2003]]) Male escort ([[2010]], unpaid)
|-
|}

'''Christian Weston Chandler''' (''né'' '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]), is a [[autism|high-functioning autistic]] [[virgin with rage|virgin]] man-child, and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a [[fail|brilliant]] crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pikachu]] - sorry, [[Chris and copyright|original creation]] - starring in his own self-titled [[Sonichu (comic)|online comic book]].

His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit video game franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], [[alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Racism|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the Ground-Up|sweetheart from the ground-up]]."

In late [[2007]], he became [[Internet]]-famous when he caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade [[Sonichu medallion]] in public, his laughably [[Chris and Art|childlike artwork]] about his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.

Yes, friends, it gets far, far, far worse.

==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|ORIGINAL IDENTITY. DO NOT [[Liquid Chris|STEAL]].]]
Much like the Devil, Christian Weston Chandler goes by many names. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|bear conductor]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or for even greater accuracy "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".

Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.

He occasionally uses the names of his characters, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and of course [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into a superheroic hedgehog himself, named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].

The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]].

{{-}}

==Overview==
[[Image:CWCBitchesDunno.jpg|thumb|It's all right, Chris, we already know since you annoy us to death about it.]]

Chris is a timid, [[chris_and_his_ego|self-absorbed]] little man who has been allowed - by [[Bob Chandler|his]] [[Barb|parents]] and/or his [[autism]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now approaching thirty, he is so comfortable in his pitiful existence that he refuses to conform to the rules of society, such as "you have to bathe regularly," "you can't sit in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "if you keep [[dirty crapped briefs|shitting your pants]] you should be more careful when you think you're just going to fart." Although the public school system originally forced society and Chris to put up with one another, Chris is now free to stay indoors and not do anything he doesn't want to do. Accordingly, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] or had any meaningful relationship with a woman (or anyone of any gender, for that matter).

Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu]], to the point that he hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by [[trolls]] working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]].

[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|Why do we get the feeling that he wants to suck a [[duck]]?]]

[[Chris and art|Chris cannot draw. At all.]] Every single person on the planet could draw better at age seven than Chris could at age 23, when the hand-drawn [[Sonichu 0|premiere issue]] of ''Sonichu'' was released. What makes it even funnier is that his art is the closest thing he has to an actual talent.

Chris is the dangerous combination of the emotional maturity of a six-year-old and the [[Chris and sex|sexual]] maturity of a young adult male. As a result, he has little understanding or appreciation of women. To him, all women are little more than objects that could potentially provide for him emotionally, sexually, and financially. It appears that everything he knows about sex has been learned from sex ed classes and porn. For some reason, he believes he knows more about sex and women than whoever he is talking to (such as women who have had sex), which inevitably results in hilarity.

Chris absolutely hates [[homos|gay men]], and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|Sailor Moon]] to keep himself straight. Oh, he also [[recycling|swallows his own semen]] and [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]]. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.
{{clear}}

== Early life ==

===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]

[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|Evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of a Chris-chan...in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|POG]] form (yes, those are homemade POGS). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]

Chris claims his first word, "[[Fail|monkey]]", was spoken at six weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat well into his twenties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centres in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal cord.

An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a [[Chris's room|room]]. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy.

During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl — if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).

In [[1989]], noted furry conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have his name [[Christopher's name change|legally changed]].

Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school". Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />

At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a more worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not [[IBAChandler|some elaborate troll]]. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to leverage his autism for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated]] when he loses).

<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[The Creepy Stare|stare]].
</gallery></center>

{{collapsible
|More of young Christian
|<gallery>
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg
</gallery>}}

[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]

[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]

Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]] and acquired the true source of his powers, his [[high school ring]].

Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris cried like a little bitch during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it ''so hard'' in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>

Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.

{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning art work
|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves.
</gallery>}}

===Adult adventures===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]]. Many women have gouged their eyes out after seeing it.]]

Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|retarded newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his bullshit.

Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend...allegedly. Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach them or speak to them.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a [[sign]] that read "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex. Chris was particularly traumatized by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud.

After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a [[boyfriend-free girl]], drawing ''Sonichu'', [[masturbation|masturbating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]

In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[Game Place|local game and card shop]]. Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, being totally smooth with women due to countless hours of studying them in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.

In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and finally learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon]]. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to raise awareness of Chris's unbelievably original character, but within half an issue, the storylines began to revolve around the frankly more compelling saga of Chris's own personal issues.
{{clear}}

==Discovery==
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]

{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}

Chris's rare talent was discovered when he posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life was never the same again.

Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]] Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.

In August 2008 Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.

The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[lulz]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which only expanded coverage of Chris's hijinks.

==Chris today==
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011}}
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naive]]te readily embraced this world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the [[CWCki]] maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot selectively ignore his own history.

[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]]]

Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic [[Internet]] presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[Chris and fashion|striped shirts]].

On [[November 2010]], around the same time another saga involving an [[Jackie|online sweetheart]] ended in romantic failure, Chris uploaded a [[100 2357.MOV|video on YouTube]] in which he announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel.

So far, Chris has kept true to his promise not to upload anymore videos onto YouTube, ''Sonichu'' has yet to resume publication and for the most part Chris has avoided interacting with people online. However, his internet activity had not completely ceased and ever since he retired from YouTube Chris has released [[CWC's Collector's Case Tutorial|several]] [[Autism Tutorial|new]] [[LBP|Little Big Planet]] levels, uploaded [[3DS Flipnote|two]] [[Hippo Flipnote|Flipnotes]], secretly frequented the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forums for a couple of weeks on [[May 2011|May]]-[[June 2011]] and apparently even had a new [[facebook]] for a brief time during [[July 2011|July]].

Chris continues to live with his parents, who along with the [[monthly tugboat|tugboat]] are his only sources of income. Since Bob and Barb are in their 80’s and 70’s (respectively), it can be reasonably assumed that they have little time left on this earth, especially when Bob’s cancer and Barbara’s [[obesity]] are taken into account. Whatever fate awaits Chris after both his parents are dead or no longer able to take care of him remains to be seen.

===Life as a Tomgirl===

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life after his YouTube retirement is his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross dressing and femininity in general. This adoption of a new wardrobe was first revealed to the net on 29 [[April 2011]] when a [[Tomgirl Pictures|batch of pictures]] featuring Chris in drag was leaked.

Further light was shed on this issue when Chris’s posts in [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] were discovered on 20 [[July 2011]]. Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or Tomgirl as he calls it) and an unabashed one too; not only did he came out as a Tomgirl to his parents (who both strongly disapproved),<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3&p=160#p160]</ref> he also dressed and behaved as a female in public, going as far as to use women’s bathrooms instead of men’s.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=20&p=162#p162]</ref> Such antics are not likely to endear him to many people in socially conservative Virginia.

Chris does not see his Tomgirl identity as being in contradiction to heterosexuality and has gone to assert his straightness in his very first post on Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2&p=157#p157]</ref> His love quest is yet to have reached its end and so far he remains a virgin.<ref>[http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=48&p=405#p405]</ref>

==Featured fan videos==

{{collapsible
|Music videos about the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler
|
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The End of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|lddgCHYKSG4}}
| Stardate = 2 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The Rebirth of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HSTicQs4Ke8}}
| Stardate = 12 April 2009
| Maker = [[Vivian Gee]]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris-chan is Pitiful
| video = {{#ev:youtube|gsbzB26sQwk}}
| Stardate = 2 August 2009
| Maker = CreepyMcCreep
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Resident Chris-chan III: Dating Ground
| video = {{#ev:youtube|8rRi90wfvHI}}
| Stardate = 1 October 2009
| Maker = MewLine
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = IICHH-TIPM - The 503 Faces of Chris-chan
| video = {{#ev:youtube|YHfZ9XCMUQQ }}
| Stardate = 13 October 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}}
| Stardate = 20 November 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = "My Name Is Christian Weston Chandler" Theatrical Trailer
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TQfvFw1GMXA}}
| Stardate = 8 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/wtfdavemustaine wtfdavemustaine]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = CWC's Show Must Go On!
| video = {{#ev:youtube|HZqqFUeoaEg }}
| Stardate = 12 December 2009
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/Secretevilguy Secretevilguy]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = The CWCville Show
| video = {{#ev:youtube|rDyg8bxeyTM}}
| Stardate = 23 December 2009
| Maker = BigBlackPony
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = When Chris-Chan's Gone
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DE2OOsKrvoU}}
| Stardate = 3 January 2010
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/tehcosmicexplorer08 tehcosmicexplorer08]
| Subject =
| Video Type =
| Other Info =
}}
}}

==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account!

==References==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris-Chan (fanart)|linkname=Chris}}

<references />

{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{People}}
{{Timeline|nocat=true}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Family Members]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]

CWCki

2011-08-30T14:44:25Z

Mister R:

''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.

[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]]]]

'''CWCki''' (pronounced "quick-ee", like [[Sex|the thing Chris will never have]]) was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only Wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the [[autistic]] manchild that everyone loves to hate and hates to love. As with any Wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first).

As stated in its motto, '''no shit is too minor'''.

The CWCki also runs a forum for its members, currently hosted [http://cwcki.yuku.com/ here].

==History==
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|left|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren]]

The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.
Before the CWCki moved to cogsdev.org, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center.
* [[White knight|Someone]] complained to 110mb in [[August 2009]] and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again.
* Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 [[September 2009]].
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.
* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.

==Chris's opinion==

{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their "[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]" and "[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]" Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}

The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]] and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren.

In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.

On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].

{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}

Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly "set the record straight" about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there whom were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's "truths" and "corrections" were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.

Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh]]. After a few more minor [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].

==References by Chris==
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal-pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki "slanders" him.
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted [http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs a quote] on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page.
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.

==See also==
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[CWCipedia]]

[[Category:CWCki]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]

CWCki

2011-08-30T14:43:53Z

Mister R:

''This is the article for the wiki ''about'' Chris. For more information about the wiki written ''by'' Chris, please see [[CWCipedia]]''.

[[Image:TypicalCWCkiPage.png|200px|thumb|What happens when CWCki gets [[Stress|STRESSED]]]]

'''CWCki''' (pronounced "quick-ee", like [[Sex|the thing Chris will never have]]) was created by [[Cogsdev]], as the [[ED]] page was getting far too large for people to take. It serves as the Internet's only Wiki devoted to [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the [[autistic]] manchild that everyone loves to hate and hates to love. As with any Wiki, anyone can edit it, even YOU. Seriously though, if you're reading this, you are qualified and should be editing (just read [[Help:A Quick Guide to CWCki|this]] first).

As stated in its motto, '''no shit is too minor'''.

The CWCki also runs a forum for its members, currently hosted [http://cwcki.yuku.com/ here].

==History==
[[Image:CWCkicopter.JPG|thumb|left|One of the many members of the CWCki team, on the hunt for more information regarding autistic manchildren]]

The CWCki came to life on 110mb, the land of shitty web servers that go down every damn day.
Before the CWCki moved to cogsdev.org, it had a history of outages caused by shit servers and counter-trolls. This is a history of the CWCki:
* 25 [[January 2009]]: The CWCki's MediaWiki incarnation is founded.
* [[October 2008]]: 110mb shut down all its service for two entire weeks out of nowhere just to move to a different data center.
* [[White knight|Someone]] complained to 110mb in [[August 2009]] and everything got shut down. Then a day or two later, it was back up again.
* Due to maintenance, 110mb was closed from 13 September to 18 [[September 2009]].
* 4 [[January 2010]]: Finally, after the 9001st outage, the CWCki moved to Cogsdev.org.
* 26 [[June 2010]]: cogsdev.110mb.com is terminated from the server it was on.
* 7 [[November 2010]]: The CWCki moves from Cogsdev.org to Sonichu.com having obtained the domain name.

==Chris's opinion==

{{quote|With that, I respectfully ask the webmaster of the Unapproved and Detested CWCki to remove ALL PAGES Classified under their "[[Template:People|Christian Weston Chandler's Web Of Life]]" and "[[Template:Sweethearts|Sweethearts, heartsweets and gal-pals]]" Categories. I give him until Midnight of Friday March 12, 2010, Eastern Standard Time, for the Webmaster of that CWCki to Remove ALL OF THOSE PAGES, [[Chris and his Ego|or there will be trouble upon that Person directly from Me]].|[[Chris]], after discovering the CWCki, 02:03, 11 [[March 2010]] (CET).}}

The CWCki, like everything else on the [[Internet]] that criticizes him or depicts him unfavorably, is something that Chris hates. In the quote above Chris displays large amounts of his [[ego]] and as usual issues a [[death threat]]. Unfortunately for Chris, his demands did not go through. There are two reasons for this. First, his [[Clyde Cash|past track record with serious threats]] suggests that he [[stress|lacks the energy]] to put his ideas into action. Secondly, CWCkians are well aware of the solid legal standing of the website and will not cave to idle threats from autistic manchildren..

In the wee hours of 14 March 2010, Chris updated his blog, taking credit for the alteration of [[The Wallflower]]'s page and demanding that the rest of the pages mentioned earlier follow suit on or before 31 March or there would be trouble. [[Pocket knife|He IS armed]]. However, in true Chris fashion, midnight of 31 March passed with Chris doing absolutely jack shit. As if anyone was surprised.

On 2 April 2010, he tried to fulfill his threat, by making [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|3 minor edits]] under the name of [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar|GodofThunderGodofWar]], obviously forgetting that CWCki editors are not ''entirely'' unaware of Chris's recent favorites in video game field. His edits were reverted immediately and his user and user talk pages were bombarded with negative comments. The edits so far were mostly done to glorify him, and are not exactly the kind of hard-hitting bombastic protest CWCkians were expecting based on [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|Chris's previous assault on ED]]. It appears that this profoundly lame attack of his had bigger impact on him, because in 19 April 2010, he set up an article in CWCipedia to [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=The_Christian_Truth list his revised truths].

{{quote|Because the Trolls and ALL such [[Chris and hypocrisy|Pig-Headed, Closed-Minded Idiots]] REFUSE to let me TELL them the Truth on THEIR websites with My Own Past Edits they have Undone, HERE is Where I Correct Some to Most of Their Pages filled with Half-Truths, Exaggerations and Lies.|Chris, glorious edit-warrior, having just suffered an epic defeat in the hands of an unjust wiki [[Manajerks|administration]].}}

Chris's only response to the CWCki in this form was the article he made for the CWCipedia named [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)|Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts]]. In it, Chris supposedly "set the record straight" about all the women in his life listed on the CWCki who we had supposedly gotten our facts wrong about, telling us what actually happened, (because we all know that Chris is far less biased than the CWCki when it comes to the subject of his own life). Naturally, he listed [[Ivy|several]] [[PandaHalo|women]] on there whom were actually confirmed trolls working for the [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens (message board)|people who run this very site]], thus proving that Chris's "truths" and "corrections" were really [[lies]] and mistakes all along.

Chris would later come back to the CWCki under the name [[JenkinsJinkies]], a poor [[disguises|disguise]] that fooled no-one, but one which the administrators played along with for a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh]]. After a few more minor [[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki|edits]], Chris eventually left the site again, as the administrators had fooled him into thinking he had been noticed by the higher-ups and let into the secret inner circle of the [[Trollin Train|trolling cabal]]. This is what eventually led to the [[The MovingFoward videos|PS3 destruction videos]].

==References by Chris==
* [[Wallflower E-mails 3]] - Chris is made aware of the CWCki's existence by his [[gal-pal]] who discovered the site and assumed it was created by Chris.
* [[Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts (CWCipedia page)]] - After seeing how well the CWCki documented all of his past relationships with women, Chris created this page to share [[Chris and reality|his side of the story]].
* [[Jackie Chat 1]] - Chris gives [[Jackie]] specific examples of how he thinks the CWCki "slanders" him.
* [[JenkinsJinkiesCwckiApplication.MOV]] - [[JenkinsJinkies]] pledges allegiance to [[Clyde Cash]] and the CWCki.
* [[LittleBigPlanet]] - In [[February 2011]], Chris posted [http://lbp.me/v/w4vcbs a quote] on his LittleBigPlanet profile and demanded that it be added to the CWCki's front page.
* [[Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virginia]] - In [[July 2011]], Chris warn his [[Tomgirl|gal-pals]] against the danger of CWCki and internet bullies
* [[Calling Out]] - In [[August 2011]], Chris demands two trolls to remove their contributions or suffer the consequences.

==See also==
*[[JenkinsJinkies]]
*[[List of Christian's edits to the CWCki]]
*[[CWCipedia]]

[[Category:CWCki]]
[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Family Guy

2011-08-05T06:17:27Z

Mister R:

[[Image:Herbert (Family Guy).JPG|thumb|Chris's favorite ''Family Guy'' character, [[Pedofork|Herbert]]. ''Get your fat ass back here!'']]

'''''Family Guy''''' is a shitty animated sitcom known for basing most of its jokes around pop-cultural references, which is interesting considering [[Chris]] rips it off so much in his comics, much like the show rips off everything else.

The series is also the inspiration for Chris's infamous ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' [[Sonichu_7#The_Family_Guy_.22Skitch.22|"skitch"]] that appeared in [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] and contained the one-off appearance of his character [[Sammy]], a creation that was a mix between Chris and [[Wikipedia:Peter Griffin|Peter Griffin]]. Chris had hoped that the creator of ''Family Guy'', [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]], could possibly use his sketch in a future episode, but he unfortunately didn't realize MacFarlane is quite capable of making unfunny, plagiarized, boring shit on his own.

==Influence on Chris==
[[Image:Meg 08-10-2009.jpg|thumb|Chris's declaration of intention regarding [[Megan Schroeder|Meg]].]]
Chris has variously expressed fanaticism for the series and watches it regularly. It can be inferred from this that the show's frequent use of [[random-access humor|non-sequitur, referential humor]] has bolstered Chris's belief that reproducing (or at least deriving) themes, motifs and characters from other works makes for legitimate, original art and has influenced his muddled understanding of [[parody]].

Also significant is his [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 10th, 2009|citing of ''Family Guy'']] as material that endorses [[homos|homophobia]], having completely misinterpreted what was a not-so-subtle jab at the prejudice in an episode. As the series often deals with issues of bigotry and other social taboos in a manner which to most would constitute unsubtle, perhaps even ham-fisted, irony, the question is raised as to what other messages from the show Chris takes at face value.

The specific scene which Chris referenced depicted [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin|Stewie]] quoting [[Wikipedia:the Bible|the Bible]] to prove that [[Wikipedia:gay marriage|Gay marriage]] is wrong, the joke being twofold; Stewie himself is ambiguously [[Homos|gay]], making his quoting of the Bible hypocritical, and, as pointed out by [[Wikipedia:Brian Griffin|Brian]], he is too infantile to properly consider Biblical scripture, a dig at ''precisely'' the sort of brainless Bible-thumping Chris exhibits. This joke obviously soared over Chris's head, and even now, Chris references that scene to prove that being gay is wrong. What's even more ridiculous is the fact that Chris seems to have not heard of any specific parts of the Bible that condemn homosexuality, despite being a supposedly devout Christian his entire life, until it was spelled out in an animated comedy series.

It is notable that [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane|Seth MacFarlane]] holds almost the complete opposite beliefs to Chris — he is [[Wikipedia:Liberalism (United States)|liberal]], [[Wikipedia:Atheism|atheist]], supports gay marriage, believes in gay rights, and has hinted at drug use. The irony is nearly painful. [[Jack Thaddeus]] once purchased ad space on [[CWCipedia]] to display an ad banner announcing MacFarlane's support for gay rights; Chris was mortally offended and demanded the ad's removal.
{{quote|"Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can't get married?"|Seth MacFarlane, supporting gay rights }}
Chris lifts lines and phrases from the show in conversation, perhaps unconsciously. He's been heard spouting the wacky phrase, "In da eaaaaggghh!", probably referring to an episode where Meg and her boyfriend take an abstinence pledge, and are discovered by Lois having ear sex.<ref>[[Wikipedia:Prick Up Your Ears]]</ref> When he's angry — in the [[Father Call]], in [[Vivitheg's AIM chat]], in the e-mail that accompanied the [[sports bra photo series]] — Chris often declares that a person or situation "grinds his gears," which was Peter Griffin's stock saying in [[Wikipedia:Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story|''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story'']].

==Similarities with ''Family Guy''==
[[Image:Peter Weston Griffen.JPG|thumb|The impostor!]]

While very likely unintentional, since it is highly doubtful that Seth MacFarlane knows of Chris's existence, there are a few instances of similarity from Chris's work with ''Family Guy''.

The first few minutes of "[[Wikipedia:Road to Germany|Road to Germany]]", when Mort Goldman looks desperately for a bathroom, only to accidentally go into Stewie's new time machine, is strikingly similar to the ''[[Ghostbusters]]'' skitch.<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville//SchuComic8P5.htm ''Ghostbusters'' "skitch"]</ref>

Likewise, many trolls noticed how uncanny Peter Griffin in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Three Kings (Family Guy)|Three Kings]]" was wearing a shirt very similar to one of Chris's [[Chris and fashion|trademark shirts]]. However, the shirt was originally featured in the [[1986]] film, [[Wikipedia:Stand by Me (film)|''Stand by Me'']], on which this segment of "Three Kings" was based.<ref>[http://www.breakfastclubquotes.com/images/StandByMe1.jpg TCM advert for ''Stand by Me'']</ref>

In the episode "[[Wikipedia:Family Goy|Family Goy]]", Peter falls in love with a cardboard cutout of [[Kimmi|Kathy Ireland]] and later [[Sex tape|has sex with said cutout]].

"[[Wikipedia:Peter's Daughter|Peter's Daughter]]" features a plot centered around the characters making a conscious effort to treat Meg better (a point of contention Chris has always had with the series). This seems mostly coincidence, except for a sequence where Peter performs as a male stripper dressed like a police officer. His stripper name? ... "[[Officer Nasty]]".

==Controversy==
A majority of the show is based off its shock appeal, and has sparked several debates with parental groups over TV. Despite claiming to be a "family man", Chris believes that it is okay, even ''beneficial'', for parents to show their children ''Family Guy'' at extremely young and impressionable ages. But only under parental supervision! This is despite the show's notoriety for its onslaught of sex jokes, violence, and language. The jokes would fly right over any kid's head, yet Chris believes that kids would find the show so hilarious that they'd even quote it. Most kids would find the show uninteresting, if only for the fact that they wouldn't get ''any'' of the jokes, most of which are lewd.

==Chris and Meg==
{{Quote|Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode (I hope she has turned Eighteen by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story).|Chris, on what makes a story [[China|really good]].<ref>[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Family_Guy Cwcipedia page on ''Family Guy'']</ref>}}[[Image:Chris&Meg.jpg|thumb|The depths of Chris's mind. Notice that Meg is the dominant one.]]

[[Image:ChrisChanfamilyguy.jpg|thumb|Chris's welcome page as of 9 October 2009.]]

Chris has a crush on [[Meg Griffin]] (a cartoon character, for those keeping track at home). However, what Chris doesn't seem to understand is that a good portion of the show's "humor" is intended to come at the expense of Meg Griffin. She is mostly portrayed as fat, unlikeable and ugly (sound familiar?) and given very few lines in episodes. Despite her portrayal, Chris has developed feelings for her, perhaps finding a kindred spirit in another person whose only use seems to be to entertain the masses by being constantly mistreated by the world at large (that or her name just reminds him of [[Megan Schroeder|someone...]]). Although she is [[pedofork|underage]], Chris has sought porn of her, going so far as to assimilate it into his comics (see [[:Image:Chrischantraced2.jpg|here]]).

On 8 [[October 2009]], he commented on a [[YouTube]] clip from the episode "[[Wikipedia:Road to the Multiverse|Road to the Multiverse]]" depicting a hot alternate-universe Meg, lamenting that if only MacFarlane let Meg turn eighteen that CWC would "be all over her sweet pussy and breasts."<ref>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDy-LEpQapQ</ref>

It is unknown what his opinion of Meg is following all the "nasty-ass" sex she had with the [[niggo]] Jerome in the episode "[[Wikipedia:Jerome Is the New Black|Jerome Is the New Black]]".

In [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], Chris went and inserted Meg into the comic, [[Chris and his ego|having her compliment Chris on the comic]]. In turn, Chris defends Meg's "honor" by beating up a guy who insults the two of them. He then kisses Meg, cheating on his future wife [[Lovely Weather]]. Ironically, if Meg likes Chris, this means the rest of the Griffin family hates him. However, he revealed this to be [[Silvana]] in disguise, though to what purpose remains to be seen.

==Chris's message to Seth MacFarlane==
On 5 [[June 2009]], [[The Miscreants]] special ops agent [[Bryan Bash]] hacked into Chris's YouTube account and found a message Chris sent to ''Family Guy'' creator Seth MacFarlane via his YouTube account.

{{quotebox|Hello Seth,

I am a long-time Family Guy Fan. I have purchased the Blu-Ray of [[Wikipedia:Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy|your Calvacade]]; I enjoyed all but the homosexual and dick jokes (I detest the [[homos]] very strongly). For your next bunch of 50 or so videos, please do more breast and vagina jokes.

Also, in Family Guy, PLEASE give [[Meg Griffin|Megan]] more respect, because she IS VERY BEATIFUL in my perspective, and she truly deserves MORE Positive attention and less abuse. Give her an irreversable Love Potion or something yo give her the attention that she deserves for MULTIPLE SEASONS and MULTIPLE CONSISTANT episodes.

We LOVE Megan Marie Griffin.

Peace,

Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu at http://www.cwcville.com}}

==''American Dad!''==
''[[Wikipedia:American Dad!|American Dad!]]'' is another MacFarlane series, again based around a single family. Chris stated on the [[CWCipedia]] that "There should be More Stories starring Haley.": [[Wikipedia:Hayley Smith (American Dad!)|Hayley Smith]] is the left-wing daughter of main character [[Wikipedia:Stan Smith (American Dad!)|Stan Smith]]. Doubtless Chris wanted more Hayley stories, not due to his love of equality or the Democrats, but because he thought she was sexy.

==''The Cleveland Show''==
27 [[September 2009]] saw the debut of [[wikipedia:The Cleveland Show|''The Cleveland Show'']], a ''Family Guy'' spin-off that answered the question, "What would happen if we took a fairly bland supporting character on ''Family Guy'' and gave him his own show?" Naturally, it sounded like a solid gold idea to Chris, as he plugged the show heavily on one of his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 15th, 2009|Captain's Logs]]. The eager endorsement of the show by an [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|odorous]], [[muscle bra|bra]]-wearing [[The Creepy Stare|creepy-ass]] manchild is certainly much appreciated by the Fox Network.

It would seem Chris may have been too hasty in his initial endorsement of the show. In a [[CWCipedia]] update on 11 [[December 2009]], after making several idiotic points about ''Family Guy'', his analysis of ''The Cleveland Show'' consisted simply of, "I do not care for all the dick jokes." This didn't stop him from buying the show's first season through the [[PlayStation Network]], though.

In another eerie coincidence, a recent episode revolved around a sex doll named [[Kimmi]].

On 22 [[March 2010]], Chris broke [[03212010 C-Ya Later.MOV|his vow never to use the Internet again]] after thirty-six hours to [[Cleveland Show Voice Rant|complain]] about changes in the show's voice acting. He would continue his whining in [[Some Favored Comedians|a video about his favorite comedians]] [[May 2010|two months later]].

In an [[100_2279|October 2010]] video, Chris held up a DVD box set of the first season of ''The Cleveland Show'' and performed a terrible rendition of the show's theme tune. He spent $30 on this set, much to Jackie's chagrin.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 8|Jackie Chat VIII]]</ref>

==The Chrisode==
[[Image:126052012913.jpg|thumb|Leaked concept sketches made by [[Trolls|Seth MacFarlane]] himself.]]
On [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|9 December 2009]] Chris said that he'd heard rumors that Seth MacFarlane was planning on including him in a future ''Family Guy'' episode. This obviously fake news inflated [[Chris and his Ego|Chris's ego]] to [[Giant Penis Comic|gigantic proportions]], to the point where he felt the need to pitch an idea for the plot. Below is the plot he posted on the CWCipedia.

{{quotebox|I, Christian Weston Chandler, have described the story in a nutshell in my [[Captain's Log, Stardate December 9th, 2009|recent video]]. But to reiterate (the final story will be typed up then copied/pasted onto this page), The show opens on Megan going onto the [[Cwcipedia]] on her computer in her room, reading the latest page uploaded and enjoying it. Later, she sends a message for the [[Mailbag]], asking if I could come to Quahog for their upcoming Comic Book Convention to show off my work. I respond, "[[Rape|I just may, Meg]]. ;)" Then I later drive up to Quahog in [[Son-Chu|my car]] (debatable on the destination being the Comic Con or the Griffin House), either way, the Griffins greet and welcome me. Then I break out [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|my two]] [[S-Chu Ball]]s, toss them and release [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]; more greetings. Megan thanks me very much for my compliments I gave a lot of, and we hang out throughout the episode ([[pedofork|I hope she has turned Eighteen]] by the time I get there, so this can be a really good story). For the [[Wikipedia:Subplot|"B" Story]], Brian gets a bit [[autism|antsy]] around the [[Sonichu_0#Episode_2:_.22Genesis_of_the_Lovehogs.22|Lovehogs]]' cuddlings, and he just could not help but ask them about how they maintain their relationship. And Sonichu and Rosechu tell Brian and help him find himself a new good girlfriend. **Suggestion to Seth, Let's Add a Smart, [[Patti-Chan|Sweet Girl Dog]] for Brian (Yes, SHE TALKS), as for breed, [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|I think any sexy breed]] (not a poodle; nothing against poodles, but I feel that a poodle might not work well for Brian).}}

At no point does Chris suggest anything that could possibly lead into a joke. Even if you don't like the show, you've got to admit that it's funnier than what he suggests.

==Chris's criticisms==
Although Chris loves ''Family Guy'', he has several ideas that he's certain would make the show much, much better. Most of his suggestions revolve around his infantile fears of [[homos|homosexuality]] and his sad ability to fall desperately in love with [[Julie|fictional women]]. Also: subtle hints of [[Chris and sex#Bestiality|bestiality]].

{{quotebox|Family Guy
-Megan does not deserve the abuse she gets. She is a Beautiful Girl, she is Very Smart, and she is the Oldest of the three children. So, Why.T.F. does Seth let most everyone treat her terribly? What is it about her that everyone is seeing to instinctively wail on her by default? WHAT and WHY?!

-Stewie should have let that tower fall on him; at least in the future scenario there, he Ended Up Straight.

-Chris finally got the best girlfriend he could ask for at the end of Season 6, Anna, so what happened to her between then and when Connie dated him in Season 7?

-While I can see Brain looking for the womanly qualities that he finds in the women he's dated, why does he not date female talking dogs who are That Pretty, Smart and all that?

-In "Road to Multiverse", in the "Robot Chicken" Universe, Stewie asks Seth Greene through Chris, "How does it feel to be on a Major Network for 30 Seconds?" Upon watching the video file on my PS3, the time in that universe was Only 20 Seconds Total, and there were NO additional portions of that scene in the version later shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. Seth McFarline owes Seth Greene 10 Seconds and then some.

American Dad
-There should be More Stories starring Haley.

The Cleveland Show
-I do not care for all the dick jokes. }}

==See also==
{{CWCipedia}}

* [[Sammy]] - Chris's bastard love child creation of him combined with Peter Griffin.
* ''[[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]]''
* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]''
* ''[[South Park]]''

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
* [[Wikipedia:Family Guy|''Family Guy'']] at [[Wikipedia]]

[[Category:Things Chris has ripped off]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Jackie

2011-08-05T00:02:22Z

Mister R: /* Oops, He Did it Again */

{{quote|And you will be safe, as long as I [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|do not talk]] about you at all online|[[Jackie e-mails|Every good show needs some foreshadowing]]}}

{{quote|Just accept that you won't be respected as an adult and that you won't be getting a girlfriend or sex... ever|[[Jackie E-mails 23| Jackie, telling it like it is]]}}
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Sweethearts
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:JackSweetheart.jpg|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Jackie
|-
| '''Full name'''
| Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy
|-
| '''Date of Birth'''
| 1987
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| [[Chris and race|White]]
|-
|-
| '''Occupation(s)'''
Magazine editor
|-
|}

'''Jacklyn "Jackie" Romy''' is a woman whom [[Chris]] met on [[The Hook Cafe]].

==Jackie's Hook Cafe Profile (Username Luv2Jax)==
[[Image:ModNation Sweetheart.jpg|thumb|"[[Sweetheart]]" in ''[[ModNation Racers]]'', note the shirt and bracelet]]
===Sexy sweetie looking for love===

I'm a little shy about this, but here goes... I'm looking for a guy between about 26-30 (I like my guys a little older, just call me [[Bob Chandler|old fashioned]] I guess) who is tall, has an [[Chris and health|athletic build, straight teeth, and a good smile.]] I don't really care what you do so long as you're [[monthly tugboat|Chandlerdriven]]; I care more about a [[Chris and fashion|nice sense of style]] and [[Fridays After Five|outgoing personality]]. I want [[Virgin with rage|someone who doesn't need to be with someone but wants to because he knows how amazing it can be!]]

Things I like to do, let's see... I love to go biking, it'd be nice if you did too. I love to play golf as well. I like to go out afer work, [[McDonalds|go to dinner]], [[SpaghettiRoutine|cook dinner]] together (I LOVE to cook), spend the weekend [[Chris and rape|at my family's cabin]], travel, road trip and have [[Hanky-Panky|sex]]. Lots and lots of sex. (not gonna [[List of Chris's lies|lie]]!) Probably during some of the activities I just listed... I want that chemistry that is so strong, just a kiss can lead to wanting to have sex right then and there...
I suppose you want to know a little about me, hm?

I'm 5'3", slender, I don't [[Tobacky|smoke]] (HATE it) but I [[Chris's Big Night Out|drink]] once in a while. I graduated college last year and I work as an [[Chris and English|editor]] for a magazine. I love every day. [[Sonichu's Edge|I run in road races]]. [[Chris and money|Oh, and I shop]]. [[Rosechu|I shop a LOT.]] :) Most importantly, I want that [[Autism|special]] someone I can share my life with and start a family with.

[[Chris and his ego|If you're reading this and you feel like it describes you, I hope you'll email me back!]]

===Characteristics===
Gender: '''Woman''' 
Current Status: '''Single''' 
Looking for: '''Friends, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship''' 
Body Type: '''Slender, Petite, Curvy''' 
Eyes: '''Hazel''' 
Height: '''5' 03"''' 
Hair Type: '''Red''' 
Age: '''22''' 
Seeks: [[Duck|'''Man for Dating, Man for Friendship''']]

===Profile===
Education: '''College graduate''' 
Ethnicity: '''Caucasian''' 
Religion: '''Unitarian''' 
Political Leanings: '''Independent, Kinky''' 
Neighborhood: '''Charlottesville''' 
City: '''Charlottesville''' 
Occupation: '''Magazine Editor''' 
Have Children: '''No''' 
Want Children: '''[[Crystal Weston Chandler|Yes]]'''

===Habits===
Smoking: '''[[Tobacky|Never]]''' 
Drinking: '''[[Alcohol|Sometimes]]''' 
Drugs: '''Not interested'''

===Personality===
I get around town via: '''[[Son-Chu|Car]], Bycicle, Walk''' 
My dietary preferences are: '''[[Nudes|No red meat]]''' 
I spend my free time: '''Reading, Sex, Creating, Working out, [[The Adventures of The American Rabbit|Watching movies]], Shopping, Biking, Frisbee Golf''' 
Funniest Thing: '''[[Random Access Humor|A monkey on roller skates]]'''

===Deeper===
'''If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, wo'd be coming?'''
Wilt Chamberlain, [[Anne Boleyn|Queen Elizabeth I]], [[Mailbag_1#Chris_the_inventor|Leonardo Da Vinci]] and [[Homo|Liberace]].

'''What's under your bed?''' My old [[PSP|Playstation]]... it's my guilty pleasure!

'''Two books that everybody should read are''' [[Father_Call#Literature_and_health|Of Mice and Men]] and the Great Gatsby.

===Fill It===
I'm an open-minded person, but '''[[Chris and race|big]][[Homos|ot]][[Women's rights|ry]]''' is a deal-breaker.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of a '''[[art|Andy]] [[Homos|Warhol]]''' and the body of a '''[[Power|Brad Pitt]]'''

People say '''my smile is my best feature'''.

The first section I turn to in the Hook is '''... ask me...'''

The quickest way to my heart is '''[[SpaghettiRoutine|good cooking]]''' The quickest way to my [[Hanky-panky|bed]] is '''[[51 50|strong, muscly arms]]'''' And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked '''basted'''

The last concert I attented was '''[[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|Crash Test Dummies]]'''

My favorite cartoon as a kid was '''[[Wikipedia:Digimon|Digimon]]'''

'''Dogwood''' is my favorite local festival.

I wouldn't sell '''my body''' for a billion dollars.

'''[[Vanessa Hudgens|Christina Ricci]]''' is the celebrity I've been told I resemble.

'''[[China|P.F. Changs]]''' is my favorite restaurant.

===In and Out===
The Corner or '''[[CWCville Shopping Center|Downtown Mall]]'''

'''Blockbuster''' or Sneak Reviews

'''[[Matthew Noble call|Best Buy]]''' or Sidetracks

'''Wireless''' or Landline

'''Aristocrat''' or Grey Goose

[[100 2269|Beatles]] or '''Stones'''

CD or '''MP3'''

'''Carmike''' or Vinegar Hill

Dogs or '''[[Cats]]'''

'''Summer''' or Winter

[[Niggos|Black]] or '''[[Dirty Crapped Briefs|Brown]]'''

'''[[Long Island Iced Tea|Bars]]''' or [[14 Branchland Court|Stay Home]]

Kroger or '''Whole Food'''

'''PC''' or Mac

'''Wheel of Fortune''' or Grey's Anatomy

Steak or '''[[Pickles|Salad]]'''

Steak or '''Sushi'''

'''Cavaliers''' or [[Cherokian Clan|Redskins]]

'''Casket''' or Cremation

Fax or '''[[Email]]'''

Dyed or '''Natural'''

'''Pumps''' or Flats

'''Beach''' or Mountains

SUV or '''Sedan'''

==First contact==

{{main|Jackie Emails}}

Jackie corresponded with Chris in a series of emails spanning from 5-21 [[April 2010]]. The exchange culminated in a rather disturbing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|video]] outlining Chris's knowledge of cunnilingus in lurid detail.

==A new dawn?==
In early [[September 2010]] his [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|E-Mail exchange with Clyde and Tito]] suggests the possibility of a new sweetheart, but Chris refuses to reveal her name. Furthermore, he uploaded a ''[[ModNation]]'' character generically named 'Sweetheart', which was discussed to be another [[Chloe]] or [[Wallflower]].

On 13 September 2010 Chris uploaded a [[To Jackie, with Love.MOV|video]] officially proclaiming his love to Jackie. Three days later, he produced a [[Song for Jackie.MOV|video]] capitalizing on Jackie's love for Canadian band, Crash Test Dummies, while ''[[Chris and race|in blackface]]''. Chris then spent [[October 2010|October]] [[Chris and cosplaying|cosplaying]] as various characters from [[100 2265|The Hamburglar]] to his own [[ECV 00002|Chris-chan]] [[Chris-Chan Sonichu|Sonichu]]. It appears that Jackie is fast on her way to becoming the new [[Ivy]].

==Lars==
'''Lars McNulty''' is Jackie's ex-[[Jerk|boyfriend]], whom Jackie left over his [[PS3#PlayStation Network|ridiculous obsession]] with [[ModNation Racers|model boats]]. He later distributed [[nudes]] of Jackie to a [[troll]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 2]]</ref> and sent her a boat made of popsicle sticks, with a condom for a sail.<ref>[[Jackie Chat 3]]</ref> Egged on by Jackie, Chris developed an [[autism|intense fixation]] on Lars and released a number of videos mocking and attacking his erstwhile rival.

Chris's [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|first video addressing Lars]] appeared on 25 September, in which Chris proves who is the bigger and stronger man by smashing a model boat made of [[Lego]]. A [[New Address|second video]] appeared two days later, where Chris gloats over how Lars has lost Jackie, explains how he will fulfill her every desire, and warns Lars not to mess with her — or [[Death threats|Chris will intervene]]. Three days after that, he continued to mock Lars's interest in boats and set to [[Lars Is Jivin'.MP4|babbling about tape dispensers]]. (An [[Lars_Is_Jivin'.MP4#Full_version|extended version]] of this third video appeared on 2 October.)

Subsequent videos in the first two weeks of October addressed other subjects, but Chris returned his attention to Lars in a [[100 2281|fourth video]] released in the wee hours of 15 October. There, a drunk Chris sported a [[Wikipedia:Do-rag|do-rag]] and accused Lars of spreading the old rumor that he's a [[homo]].

On 6 November, [[Lars Call|audio]] was released of a call between Lars and Chris.

==Oops, He Did it Again==
{{quote|We'll be very happy together. I know it. I will make you happy as much as possible. And when you're feeling down, I'll make you feel better. I love you.|Chris, [[Stare|giving the Creepy Stare]] to his beloved.}}
On 30 [[October 2010]], an [[alcohol|inebriated]]-looking Chris posted a [[ToJackie|video]] in which he pleads Jackie to stay with him. Since there had been no further Jackie-related videos and Chris had decided to [[100 2357.MOV|quit the internet]] '''again''', it was assumed they had split up. The actual breakup happened a couple days later, when he stopped responding to Jackie's emails.

In [[November 2010|November]], new information about Jackie was released in the form of various [[Jackie Chat 1|chats]] and [[Jackie E-mails 3|emails]]. These provided valuable context about Chris's activities online throughout the latter half of 2010. The email exchanges proved that yet again, Chris is unwilling to make any improvements to his life - even to get the china he so desperately craves.

==Sauces==
<references/>
{{Sweethearts}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Romy, Jacklyn}}

[[Category:Sweethearts]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga]]

JuggaloShoutOut

2011-08-04T23:02:06Z

Mister R:

'''JuggaloShoutOut''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 30 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris keeps on the facepaint from his [[DivineTrial|earlier video]] while giving a "shout out" to fellow [[http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Slow_in_the_minds]] fans who refer to themselves as [[Wikipedia:Juggalo|juggalos]]. They are known for having many idiotic douchebags among their fanbase, which fits Chris's description perfectly.

Chris also recites a lyric from [[wikipedia:Coolio|Coolio]]'s [[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise|"Gangsta's Paradise"]].
{{-}}

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = JuggaloShoutOut
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ufCO0FENhY8}}
| stardate = 30 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| shirt = {{VertRedShirt|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| previous = [[DivineTrial]]
| next = [[HairDifference]]
}}

===Transcript===

[[File:Fucking_Autistics.jpg|right|thumb|200px|[[Monthly tugboat|They don't.]] ]]
''[Chris is still wearing the facepaint and [[plush breasts]] he used during the [[DivineTrial]] video, although he has lost the red sheet of construction paper over his crotch.]''

Also, another thing.

''[Chris breaks into song.]''

We will do this gangsta's paradise! Da da da da, da, da da da. Da da da da da, da da da.

''[Chris leans into the camera.]''

Always be a member of the Juggalo family! We Juggalos roll.

== See also ==
*[[Hello, Juffalo]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DivineTrial]]|nextlink=[[HairDifference]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category: Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-30 g]]
[[Category: Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-30 g]]