CWCki - User contributions [en]

Alex's Lemonade Stand

2012-02-29T22:30:57Z

Mp83: /* The event */ grammar fix

[[File:Cwcville Helps.png|thumb|"Cwcville Helps", [[February 2012]]]]
{{Quote|I, as a [[Money|charitable]] individual, like helping others, and Children are our future. So, I am participating during the weekend to help the cause to cure cancer in children, so they all can grow into fine, [[Health|healthy adults]].|[[Chris]]|being ironic.}}

'''Alex's Lemonade Stand''' is a charity program that was set up by [[Lego]] in conjunction with their "[[Gal-pals|Friends]]" theme, which is intended for little girls. Chris, being the [[Tomgirl]] and fan of Lego that he is, has pledged to set up a lemonade stand in hopes of raising money for his "father who died of cancer", despite the fact [[Bob]] actually died of heart failure. Although his reasoning for creating the stand is still unclear, he may have thought that the money would go to him so he could buy more [[video games|vidya]].

== The event ==
[[File:Nodarkies.JPG|thumb|Something like this]]
According to the event page, entitled "[[Cwcville]] Helps", Chris will be running a lemonade stand for all three days of the event - from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m on Friday, June 8 through Sunday, June 10, 2012, more work than Chris has done since [[Cutco]] ditched him nine years ago. The stand was originally to be set up outside [[Chris's house]], but has since moved to the old [[Wikipedia:Circuit City Stores|Circuit City]] building, 100 Albemarle Square, [[Charlottesville]]. The initial fundraising goal of US$50 was quickly met after donations from Chris's friends, neighbors and fans, as well as some more sinister figures, such as [[Clyde Cash]] and the [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]. As of February 24, the [http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275/donations total amount of donations] exceeded $150 - although Chris has not changed his original donation goal. Also, some force (possibly Chris) has been attempting to censor comments and donors, with the donor listings, along with their comments, being unavailable.
[[Image:132950942315.png|frame|center|Shit was so cash!]]

It appears that fundraisers such as Chris are able to modify the comments left by donors, with Clyde's comment being among those redacted. Although his charity work seems promising, it may be hindered if Chris is [[28 October 2011|in prison]] by June...

==External links==
*[http://www.alexslemonade.org/mypage/80275 Cwcville's page on Alex's Lemonade Stand]

{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's house]]
[[Category:Websites]]

Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David

2012-02-13T03:27:58Z

Mp83: fixing tense of bluespike's age

'''Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David''' is a video uploaded by [[Chris]] on 23 [[August 2011]], and part of the [[Calling Out]] series. Chris, still high on victory, turns his attention to [[BlueSpike]], believing him to be the cause of the prank phone calls of people shouting out "JULAAAAAAAAAAY!" and calling him [[Ian Brandon Anderson]]. His reasoning for going after BlueSpike also seemed to be more towards his condition of [[Asperger's]] and the fact that he has no job, likes big rooms and is a gamer, despite the fact that BlueSpike would only be about 15-16 by the time of the video and unable to get a proper job, unlike a certain 29-year-old we know.

It, too, was removed from YouTube shortly after being posted due to "hate speech".
{{Infobox/video
| name = Calling Out "Julaaaay" - David
| video = {{#ev:youtube|uEMFYldLCUM}}
| stardate = 23 [[August 2011]]
| subject = {{Website|Internet}}, {{Trollsicon|text}}
| style = {{Reason|text}}, {{Smug|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}, {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Mix 107.3 Shirt
| previous = [[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]
| next = [[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]
}}

{{quote|In your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY!}}
== Transcript ==

[[File:Toht.jpg|thumb|Chris looked at the ark.]]

''[Chris puts his hand to his mouth and clears his throat.]'' [[For Julie's Eyes Only|JUUULAYYYYYY!]] JUUUULAAYY! IT'S [[Ian|IAN BRANDON ANDERSON]]! ''[He waves his hands while saying this]'' JUUULLLAY! Hello Ian! Why is your last name Brandon Anderson? JUUUUULLAYYY! *pfffffttt* ''[blows raspberry while flipping the bird]'' And that's who we are calling out next. The, uh, person who posed-pretended to be an adult woman but yet was a little, uh, little brat. Al... -he was also known as his alias Max, and BlueSpike, but his real name is... ''[hits pad of paper offscreen]'' David!

And he lives in... ''[hits pad again]'' California! Don't know that much about his age, but he's at least thirteen years old. And guess what... he is confirmed to have... ''[dramatic lean forward]'' [[Aspergers syndrome|assburgers]]! And I don't care much for Aspergians, and I do not care to be associated with, erm, an-... and I do not accept the ''[makes quote-marks hand gesture]'' scientific fact that [[autism]] is linked to assburgers at any time. I would quote myself as to what I said in the esstra part of [[Autism Tutorial Extra|my Little Big Planet 2 animation]], but I don't remember the words at this point.

''[picks up camera and turns around, with it facing the back of the room]''

Except that it definitely sounds like a bad cut of cow meat. And of course he was responsible for dat Julie fiasco and making me drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohioooo! And cutting up, one of the, cutting up the second medal, and ''[murmurs, sounding a bit like Popeye] [[Julie Reveals Herself|shoving it up my ass.]]'' And... he likes ''[dramatic gesture]'' big rooms! [[Chris and hypocrisy|And he has no job]]! And he is also a gamer. Here is a close up, featured from his photograph!

''[Chris turns the camera around to face the TV]''

''[high pitched]'' Look at his buck [[Fangs|teeth]]! ''normal again'' Or at least the gap between his teeth. That's a biiiig gap! Look at how big that gap is! Huh? Gap! Teeth! Buck teeth? Perhaps. But definitely a gap.

''[Chris turns the camera back towards himself while spinning around]''

And, Mr. David, you have until [[September 2011|September]] fifteenth to come up with the apology video, and leave me and my family and my friends at peace, oh, and also in your apology video tell everyone to stop making phonecalls to me that say ''[the [[Claw of Fail]]]'' JUUULLAAAAY! JUUULLLAAAYYY! And get rid... make sure that no-one ever calls me Ian Brandon Anderson ever again, because, ''[fast]'' [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI&ob=av3e thatisnotmyname]! ''[long pause]'' You have until September fifteenth. JUUUULLLLAAAY- ''[cuts out]''

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Re-Calling Ahuvia]]|nextlink=[[Gratitude for a good person in N.C.]]}}
{{Calling Out}}

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, August 2011| 2011-08-23 b]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Rocky Shoemaker

2011-10-31T02:56:11Z

Mp83: /* Biography */

{{quote|Rocky offers me advice for most general things for counsoling [sic]. I can't say all of the things she has helped me with off of the top of my head, aside from the recent thinking of myself as [[retarded]]|Chris explains how Rocky helps him<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 22]]</ref>}}

{{Quote|She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.|[[Ivy]]'s view<ref>[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>}}
[[Image:shoemaker.jpg|thumb|Rocky Shoemaker]]
[[Image:ivyjesus.jpg|thumb|''[[Ivy]] vs. The Methodist Church''. Coming to a theater near you]]
'''Rochelle "Rocky" Shoemaker''' is a pastoral counselor (actual title - "Assistant Pastor for Care Ministries") at the [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]], who advised [[Chris]] on several matters, going as far back as the [[Miyamoto Saga]].

==Biography==

Rocky used to work in the [http://www.cof-umc.org/index.html Community of Faith United Methodist Church], where she garnered high praise and [http://cof-umc.org/blog/?p=3 comparisons with Rocky Balboa]. In the year of Our Lord [[2009]], she brought about the end of the [[Ivy]] Saga, by pushing Chris to go to the police about Ivy.

This wasn't the first time she wanted to call the cops, either - [[Julie]] and [[PandaHalo]] have both incurred her wrath in the past.

The last straw came in the form of [[Joshua Martinez]], aka [[Vanessa Hudgens]], who tried to swindle some money out of Chris by trading him a [[PSP]]. After that, Shoemaker made [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barb]] contact the cops. The agreement was that the cops would only be involved in the Joshua matters, as they were dealing with the trolls on their own terms. However, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb and brought up Ivy and the trolls with the cops. She even had them try to find Ivy and even managed to get a background check on her and came up with nothing. <ref>http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Ivy_Q%26A#The_end</ref>

In a [[IRC (23 July 2009)|July 2009 IRC Chat]] Chris, believing that he had entered the chat incognito (although the trolls had in fact instantly seen through his false identity), suggested that the trolls force him to [[Chris and sex|rape]] Rocky. Rocky herself is aware that Chris said this. The fact that she did not kick him out of the church on the spot speaks volumes about her sanity.

In addition to her interaction with Chris, Rocky has an adult son who works at RockStar Games, makers of Grand Theft Auto.

==The ultimate white knight?==
Rocky Shoemaker might be the only person in the world who is genuinely concerned about Christian's well-being. Judging by her approval of the [[Love Quest]], it can be inferred that she supports Christian's desire for [[china]].

Despite saving him from the wiles of Joshua Martinez and [[Clyde Cash]], it seems as though Rocky is ineffective at making an impact in Christian's life where it really matters - namely his [[Homos|bigotry]], [[Chris and his Ego|selfishness]], [[Chris and death|total disregard for others]], [[Chris and health|gluttony]], and [[Chris and anger|rage]].

One can usually spot her hand in affairs if Chris begins to display common sense. It is generally believed that she was behind Chris's attempt to quit the internet forever on 21 March 2010, as the video was made on a Sunday. Chris likely meets with her on Thursdays and Sundays, as he suddenly developed basic pattern recognition skills long enough to catch one troll on 29 April and smoke out [[Sydney Contacts|another]] on 1 May (though he may have simply gotten both mixed up with [[Jackie]]).

Chris insists that Rocky is a better counselor than a professional psychologist, and seems to uncritically accept whatever she says.

==See also==
*[[Chris and religion]]
*[[Chris and sex]]

== Sources ==
<references/>

{{People}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Shoemaker, Rocky}}
[[Category:People]]

Obesity

2011-09-05T15:51:40Z

Mp83: /* I mean, just look at him. */

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|A fine example of severe obesity.]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], [[Bob]] and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Futhermore, in his numerous dating profiles to discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
[[File:Futurechan.PNG|240px|left]]
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." One possible explanation is that Chris doesn't know his actual weight. It's anyone's guess as to when he last stepped on a scale. And considering how much fast food he consumes, it is safe to assume he gains a significant amount of weight each year. One might guess he may not have weighed himself since high school (this is a complete guess, based on nothing), in which case, assuming he has bulked up a good amount since then, he would believe he weighs approximately 200 lbs, either being too mentally crippled by autism or being too mentally crippled by his [[ego]] to notice how much fatter he has gotten. The only other explanation is that Chris has little to no muscle mass, with a body that is mostly fat (which, considering his lifestyle, is not unlikely). Considering muscle is denser than fat, it would be possible for Chris to weigh as little as 200 lbs. Even if he did weigh 200 lbs, though, his BMI would be 28.7, which is overweight.

Taking Chris's height into consideration (5'10"; 1.78 m), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 lbs (136 kg) thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for someone Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 (73kg) to 175 lbs (79 kg), but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.

Chris has probably asked his [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] about being fat. Being the coddling cow that she is, she more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).

In a [[WeighIn| recent video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],{{cite}} during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us see is a fat autistic manchild.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Furthermore, [[Blanca]] was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.

==I mean, just ''look'' at him.==
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|left]]
In [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], Chris is seen wearing a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. [[Bunny Hop|When he moves up and down]] the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. [[I AM STRONG|When he flexes—''if'' he flexes—there's no way to tell.]]
{{-}}

==Places where Chris likes to eat==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Obesity

2011-09-05T15:51:18Z

Mp83: /* I mean, just look at him. */

[[Image:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|A fine example of severe obesity.]]
[[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|thumb|180px|PROTIP: The Atkins Diet doesn't work, [[Barb|fatty]].]]

{{quote|One more thing, [[Chris and reality|I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!]]|Chris, lying to [[White knight emails|White Knight]]}}
{{Quote|I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.|Chris to [[Jackie]]<ref>[[Jackie Chat 6]]</ref>}}

'''Obesity''' is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the [[USA]], with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the [[14 Branchland Court|Chandler home]], in which 100% of its residents are fucking fat: [[Chris]], [[Barbara]], [[Bob]] and even their cat, [[Desi Chandler|Desi]].

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|a slim, barrel-chested hero]] in his [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] and in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE]], when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Futhermore, in his numerous dating profiles to discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named [[Sammy]], whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary gained weight, Became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But [[Chris and reality|that's]] a whole other problem.

== Exercise ==
[[Image:Cwcspin.gif|right|Exercise]]

Chris believes that exercise involves standing up without moving, and thus considers playing ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' a workout. During one of his [[PSN]] chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays vidya. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,<ref>http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html ''Reader's Digest.'' See tip #3</ref><ref>http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 ''Mayo Clinic.'' See tip #2</ref> but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

[[Emily]] has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — he thinks you either walk or run full tilt. It's safe to say he tries to run at "[[Sonic]] speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in [[Sonichu's Edge]].

In [[Mailbag 21]], Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos from subsequent months, either he lied or he wasted his money.

== Actual weight ==
[[File:Futurechan.PNG|240px|left]]
In an IRC fan chat, when asked how much he weighed, Chris replied "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg). During his phone call with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], he angrily denied the suggestion that he weighed as much as 220 lbs (100 kg), claiming he weighed "a lot less." One possible explanation is that Chris doesn't know his actual weight. It's anyone's guess as to when he last stepped on a scale. And considering how much fast food he consumes, it is safe to assume he gains a significant amount of weight each year. One might guess he may not have weighed himself since high school (this is a complete guess, based on nothing), in which case, assuming he has bulked up a good amount since then, he would believe he weighs approximately 200 lbs, either being too mentally crippled by autism or being too mentally crippled by his [[ego]] to notice how much fatter he has gotten. The only other explanation is that Chris has little to no muscle mass, with a body that is mostly fat (which, considering his lifestyle, is not unlikely). Considering muscle is denser than fat, it would be possible for Chris to weigh as little as 200 lbs. Even if he did weigh 200 lbs, though, his BMI would be 28.7, which is overweight.

Taking Chris's height into consideration (5'10"; 1.78 m), along with the nude pictures circulating the Internet, a better estimation would be in the mid 200s, closing in on 300 lbs (136 kg) thanks to his constant consumption of McNuggets and corn syrup. A healthy weight for someone Chris's height would be somewhere around 160 (73kg) to 175 lbs (79 kg), but he's not likely to get that low ever again without the aid of gastric bypass surgery or the amputation of multiple limbs.

Chris has probably asked his [[Barbara Chandler|Mom]] about being fat. Being the coddling cow that she is, she more than likely told him he was a slim and attractive young man (which he is... compared to her).

In a [[WeighIn| recent video]], Chris claims that he weighs 216 lbs (97kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his current girth and food consumption. Most [[trolls|experts]] believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he's not fully standing on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity have caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point of him looking like he weighs more than 250 pounds, when he really is just 216 pounds of pure fat.

== Denial ==
[[Image:FattyLOL.jpg|thumb|180px|Horizontal stripes are very slimming!]]

Chris has always been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't fat. In [[IRC]], Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing ''Guitar Hero''. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called [[gay]]. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a [[Homo#Defenses_against_becoming_homo|poster that will help him lose weight]]. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with [[Evan]],{{cite}} during his phone call with [[Father Call|Kacey's father]], and especially in his conversation with [[Kacey and Liquid Call|Kacey and Liquid Chris]], where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with [[Liquid Chris]], Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the ''real'' Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the [[Asperchu]] saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he ''used'' to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since [[high school]]. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a [[Jack Thaddeus Phone Call|phone call]] with [[Jack Thaddeus]] that he was not fit.

The fact is, Chris has been spoiled so much by his mother, told that he was perfect and muscular so much, that he believes that when he looks in a mirror, he sees a six-pack, whereas what the rest of us see is a fat autistic manchild.

There is also convincing evidence that [[autism|Chris has difficulty recognizing]] the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks.<ref> [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] - [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_24 "...I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like..."]</ref> Furthermore, [[Blanca]] was able to use pictures of different girls with only basic features in common (e.g., hair color and length) to trick Chris into thinking "she" was the same girl.

==I mean, just ''look'' at him.==
[[Image:TG20.jpg|thumb|left]]
In [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV]], Chris is seen wearing a [[Muscle bra|sports bra]] and admitting he has manboobs. Obesity causes the release of even more estrogen. Ergo, a perfect recipe for gynecomastia. Chris's face is fat. [[Bunny Hop|When he moves up and down]] the whole front of his body bounces in unison. It's increasingly difficult to know where his face turns into his neck and his neck into his shoulders. [[I AM STRONG|When he flexes—''if'' he flexes—there's no way to tell.]]

==Places where Chris likes to eat==
* [[Country Cookin]]
* [[McDonald's]]
* [[Golden Corral]]
* [[Chick-fil-A]]
* [[Semen|Bedroom]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

[[Category:Physical characteristics]]

Thorg

2011-08-12T22:48:11Z

Mp83: adding last name

[[Image:Thorg IRL.jpg|thumb|Elusive master troll Thorg.]]
'''Thorg''' (real name "'''Jeremy Slonwhite'''") is a [[troll]] who gained notoriety in [[August 2011]], when he was targeted by [[Chris]] through a series of [[Calling Out|blackmail videos]]. He was dubbed a "pizza-faced [[Chris and Religion|ATHEIST]]" by Chris, who claimed he was responsible for the discovery of [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] and creator of a slanderous billboard.
== Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==

Following Chris's 8 month hiatus from the Internet, he reappeared with three videos adressed to both Thorg and [[Surfshack Tito]]. In second, "Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy", Chris claimed to have information on Thorg; that his real name was Jeremy, that he lived in Canada, that he could be found in a video game store, and that he was an [[Chris and Religion|atheist]]. He then proceeded to make several demands, including the removal of all references to Tomboys and Tomgirls from the CWCki and a public apology video.

In "Deadline for Don "Tito" and Jeremy "Thorg"", Chris sets a deadline for these demands for 31 August 2011.

== Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy ==

While [[Surfshack Tito|Tito]] eventually caved in to Chris's demands a few days later, Thorg remained unconvinced that Chris meant business and neglected to respond. On 10 August, 2011 Chris released [[Calling Out#Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|a video]], in which he reiterated his demands for Thorg and revealed more information on him. More images of him were released, and Chris disclosed that he was a fan of LARPing (Live Action Role Playing).

Chris was also incredibly hostile towards Thorg's atheism, going on a tangent about how, through the power of empathy, Chris [[Chris and Reality|could feel]] what it was like to be Jesus as he was tortured on the cross. He also mentioned that as a [[Lie|good natured]] Christian he wouldn't do it, but he would love to chase Thorg out of town with an angry mob wielding pitchforks and torches. [[Image:Gaybar.png|thumb|The Photoshop in question.]]

Most of Chris's hostility towards atheism appears to come from ''[[Family Guy]]'' and simple creationist arguments, likely picked up from the Internet, his father or his congregation.

== See Also ==
*[[Calling Out]]
*[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]]
*[[20 December 2009]]

Power

2011-07-24T14:46:36Z

Mp83: /* Transcript */

'''Power''' is a file, published by [[The Miscreants]], in which [[Chris]] performs various dubious feats of strength. The .zip includes three videos, an audio file and a "special thanks" document. It was published along with [[CWCFlyingElephants]] on 27 [[April 2009]].

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Power
| video = {{#ev:youtube|TREWHpjD2Rc}}
| stardate = 27 April 2009
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Comedy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|text}}
| previous = [[I Got A Fish]]
| next = [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:He-Chan.jpg|thumb|right|BY THE POWER OF NUMBSKULL!]]
StrongCWC1
'''I HAAAVE THE POWEEERRRR!!! FEEL MY WRATH!!''' [''retarded "guitar solo"'']

StrongCWC2
We will now be watching the strong man, lifting a '''very heavy''' ''office chair''. Note: the chair [[WeighIn|weighs a ''grand'' number of ''pounds''.]]
[''lifts the chair with considerable effort, using mainly his back'']
Ahhhhh! Ta-da! '''FEEL MY WRATH!!''' [''puts the chair back down'']

StrongCWCPower
Now we will be seeing the strong man lifting ''the same chair'', but with a '''very heavy''' basket full of junk in the chair.

[''bends down to pick up the chair, giving us a good view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS]] in the process- he struggles to lift the chair, and spills a good portion of what appears to be books in the process'']
'''HHHNGG [[random access humor|I ONCE KNEW A MAN FROM NANTUCKET!!''']] [''puts the chair back down very quickly'']

==See also==
* [[CWCFlyingElephants]]
* [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I'LL SEND EVERYTHING IN MY '''POWER!''']]
* [[Prower]]

==External links==
* [http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Q0VPMWR1 Download Power]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[I Got A Fish]]|nextlink=[[CWCFlyingElephants]]|}}
{{LeakedVideos}}
{{Power videos}}

[[Category:Trolling]]

[[Category:Chris-chan videos, April 2009| 2009-04-27]]

Ivy Q&A

2011-02-13T17:13:00Z

Mp83: /* Q24 */ linking to emily page

==Q01==
Assuming that you weren't forced to abort, what was your original plan for ending the saga? Did you have anything special planned for the breakup?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:18, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Not really. I was just going to ride it out to a certain point. Like any other relationship, I would have broke it off if things got stale.
==Q02==
* Also how did you get Chris to watch End of Evangelion and did he have any prior exposure to the series?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:42, 3 February 2011 (PST)

I liked Evangelion to an extent but it was my good friend who was the real fan. He wanted Chris to watch it. I basically said "Oh, you should watch this, you'll enjoy it" and that's what kicked it off. Chris said he liked the sex scene between Misato "and that guy" but that Rei melting everywhere made him uncomfortable. He was familiar with Evangelion but not really a heavy watcher.

==Q03==

How much contact did you have with Chris? Also, were you ever actually planning on meeting Chris like he mentions in [[For_My_Sweetest_Ivy|this]] video?--[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 18:15, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Chris called me a lot- it would have been impossible to keep track of how often. I'd just pick up and talk to him then.

==Q04==

How much input did you have into the content Chris produced during the saga? Were the Wedding/Honeymoon Comics based on your suggestions, or did Chris come up with it on his own?--[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 18:27, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Basically I would plant the seed and Chris would sow it. I'd occasionally suggest small details like what someone would wear or which friends I would want included or whatever. For the wedding comic, I just suggested that we have a wedding comic to prove himself to me. I made a few suggestions but he pretty much did it all on his own.
With the honeymoon comic, I said something like "I want a honeymoon comic" and he did things like have my dad, [[Officer Keino]], make an appearance. Though… I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).

==Q05==

Opinions regarding how Chris became the way he is vary from assigning him over nine thousand different mental diseases and disorders, to crediting his 'perfect storm' of behavioral issues to simply shitty parenting of an autistic kid. As one of his more dedicated trolls, what are your thoughts? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)

Like Lady Gaga would say, I think he was born that way. :(

==Q06==

Most of the trolling aside from BlueSpike's efforts seems designed with the ultimate goal of helping Chris (eg "Get a job" is a requirement of practically all sweethearts). Do you believe this has had any effect? Can they? Following on from that, do you support BlueSpike style trolling, aka purposely inflicting as much harm on Chris as possible with no 'goal'? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)

I really haven't been following trolling in Chris since I've been playing golf in Heaven with Boudicca and Lilith so I'm not really sure. But, I really don't think either method is effective. Neither result will help nor harm Chris in the long run.

==Q07==

Is it true that one time when Chris called you, one of your parents (or someone pretended to be your parent) picked up the phone and told Chris off for calling all the time and so damn early in the morning? --[[User:Nhocgreen|Nhocgreen]] 20:49, 4 February 2011 (PST)

No.

==Q08==

Was there a point were trolling Chris stopped being fun and became a chore? As in, because he kept calling, you felt you HAD to talk to him and you HAD to keep dealing with him? A follow up question: was it your idea to end it or and outside source? -- [[User:TheMAN|TheMAN]] 03:03, 5 February 2011 (PST)

For the first question, it never felt like a chore because I'd only pick up when I wanted to and we'd have fun. It stopped being fun towards the end. It got kinda sketchy and I felt uncomfortable. It got too personal. As for the second part, you'll see a thorough answer further down...

==Q09==

The say that a madman falling in love with you is a scarier situation than a madman wanting to kill you. Were you frightened or disturbed by any of your contacts with Chris? Or if not, were you merely amused by his bizarre methods of showing affection? --[[User:DJChaos|DJChaos]] 15:22, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I was often amused by Chris, perplexed, and impressed. But he wasn't really that bad, he would just gross me out.

==Q10==

When Rocky decided to call the police, did you have any conversations with her at all? Obviously the background check on you came up with nothing, but did you have any problems at all with Rocky's meddling? - [[User:Machop|Machop]] 16:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I didn't talk to Rocky. We had constant problems with Rocky as did Bob and Barb. It didn't just affect me and Josh, but Chris's home life. She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.

==Q11==

This one's kinda stupid, but i am a little curious. When Chris made the wedding comic the dress was ripped off from November Rain. Since Chris only listens to video game music or songs from guitar hero, chances are he never heard of that song or seen that video. Did you ever mention that you liked guns and roses/November rain, or is that some of his random accessness? --[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 17:10, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I mentioned the dress explicitly. I told him I loved the video and I loved the dress. I thought, "If I'm going to get married at the circus, let's go all out".

==Q12==

If you had one more time to troll Chris before you died, what else would you have done to the manchild? --[[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 18:06, 5 February 2010 (PST)

Nothing, because I am dead.

==Q13==

Probably a stupid question but have you ever talked to Barb or Bob on the phone? If so, How did it go? --[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:41, 6 February 2011 (PST)

Yes, keep scrolling!

==Q14==

How did you find out about Chris stealing his parent's credit cards for his PSN account?

--[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:52, 6 February 2011 (PST)

I confronted him about the bounced check and he admitted to using his parents' cards on PSN. Bob later told me Chris was nicking small change from Barb and that he knew Chris was stealing from them via their credit cards.

==Q15==

Kind of piggybacking on another user's question: If you had had the chance to meet Chris in person, how do you think the event would have progressed? Would you have attempted to follow Chris's itinerary to a certain point before suggesting different activities, ride it the whole way through, or completely hijack it? Also, judging how the date with Emily (and any other female) went, it seems that Chris's ultimate goal in meeting up with a woman is to kiss and/or bed her. Would you have been prepared for his advances? Would you have brought along a chaperon/bodyguard, or did you believe that Chris was actually pretty harmless and that you could easily deflect his moves?

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 17:08 7 February 2011 (EST) [minor edit for grammar]

If Chris showed up at my house, I'd call my dad and yell "RAPE!". I wouldn't be worried about actual rape but just because Chris brings trouble. I'm also pretty certain Purrell doesn't clean feces… I don't want him touching me with those hands.

==Q16==

Ivy, I am curious. What was your reaction to the creeptacular videos Chris made for you, particularly "Message for Ivy" and "For my Sweetest Ivy"? Did you start to second guess your decision to help troll Chris? What was your reaction to "For my Sweetest Ivy" getting played on the radio? It seems Chris has arguably made some of his creepiest and disturbing videos during your saga, and was totally enamored with you. Was there anything different you were doing in your trolling of Chris over the phone, as he seemed to be obsessed with your more than any other "sweetheart" of any saga before or since. I only ask this since we don't have your phone calls to hear for ourselves, so I'm curious if you did anything unique to get Chris so wrapped up in you? [[User:Nigroid|Nigroid]] 14:26, 7 February 2011 (PST)

Everything Chris does impresses me. Whether it's backstabbing me or wooing me, I have always been impressed. I loved when one of Chris' videos to me was on the radio. Why would I record myself? I'm just having fun with my good buddy Chris.

==Q17==

Ivy's Ghost, what was it about what you did that seemed to influence Chris to draw comic and also bring the crazy out of him? Also, you seem to have been the last sweetheart to use a fursona/sonic recolor sidekicks. Would you recommend future sweethearts to do the same? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 20:23, 7 February 2011 (PST)

Already answered the first part. As for the second part, there's no surefire recipe to get Chris to do what you want him to do. If Chris likes you, he likes you. It's just purely a matter of chance.

==Q18==

Ivy, I guess this question has to do with meeting Chris, but how badly did Chris want to meet you in real life? And did Chris have any intentions of getting married with you(because of his daughter Crystal), or possibly getting a place together(If it went that far in Chris's mind)? Or did Chris just want you inside of his filthy home and having degrading "hanky-panky" in the garbage heaps of his house(because nothing says romance like rolling around in some garbage with an overweight man-child)? [[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 4:20, 8 February 2011 (EST)

Yes to all the above. I don't know how far the rabbit hole goes, and I didn't want to find out.

==Q19==

Any relation to Poison Ivy? [[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 10:29, 8 February 2011 (EST)

SOUL CALIBER.

==Q20==

This is an odd one, but was there, at any time, a moment when you felt a morsel of pity and/or (misguided) affection for Chris, or believed that he could be changed? (Granted, we mostly despise Chris, but there are a few times when some of us feel sorry for him and wish he could improve himself.) Do you believe Chris can redeem himself and become a somewhat functioning member of society, or is he a lost cause? For that matter, did you consider white knighting? -- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 18:11, 8 February 2011 (EST)

I felt bad for Chris when Josh was ripping him off until I found out that Chris was ripping Josh off as well. I feel bad for his parents. They did make him, but they also had to endure problems themselves. There's some mental illness in the family, I bet. I don't think Chris can get better because all the influences in his life suck.

==Q21==

Your saga produced some of the most bizzare behavior from Chris. While he certainly did some weird stuff before you came along, his videos for you contained some of the most disturbing behavior he has ever shown. Among Chris's sweethearts, what made you so unique that you were able to get such strangeness out of him? Did you approach him differently? [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 01:08, 9 February 2011 (PST)

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

==Q22==

What was the grossest thing Chris ever said to you? I think other people have already asked this but how did you get Chris to start talking to you and did he ever get a "real" picture of you? (as in a picture of a random person from the internet) Or was Chris just going off of drawn pictures?[[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 19:01, 9 February 2011 (PST)

Chris was going off the drawing alone. The grossest things he said to me were anything involving his bodily functions, him sleeping in the the products of said bodily functions. Oh and "sammies".

==Q23==

Was it hard to play it straight when talking to Chris on the phone? Did you ever break character, or just start cracking up? [[User:darkhorse816|darkhorse816]] 22:21, 9 February 2011 (CST)

If I was bored, I was bored. If I laughed, I laughed. I hid nothing. A lot of it was me saying "yeah, yeah, uh huh". I just had him call me back. Whatever I felt, I made no secret of.

==Q24==

Outside of what's been documented, are there any funny Chris stories you can share with us? [[User:John Ritter&39;s Nutsack|John Ritter&39;s Nutsack]] 15:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)

{insert interview HERE}
Actually, John Ritter’s Nutsack, I do have a select few!

During the time of CWCiki’s successful contact, I was busy in heaven getting my nails did. I’ve got a super shade color here, Blue Satin #461 by Chanel. I paid 48-H Quarters at the Church of the Miraculous Nordstrom for it…

I remember that there was a time when my entire existence filtered through this color, blue. Battery Blue… paired with Mellow Yellow- and so very much brown.

In the beginning, I used to watch the Chris videos with various friends because he reminded me of different peers from high school (my graduating class was upwards of 500 individuals. More peers always ment a higher challenged population roaming the hallways unattended).

I wanted to surprise a good friend by getting a shout out from Chris for us. When I finally achieved this he said her name wrong during the recording. I phoned him back and pointed out the error. Chris promised to get right to amending this mistake. No big deal, right?

Well, this pretty much set the tone for our entire relationship.

Before the Emily date occurred, when I initially phoned Chris, I was subjected to a quiz by his parents. I spoke to Bob first.

"Hi! I'm such and such, from such and such. Oh, I know Chris from INSERT PLACE HERE.”

Bob responded by urging me to slow down. He said some endearing terms, though I don't remember the specifics. Politely, he informed me that he had to get his wife because “she's in charge of messages for Chris”.

He passed me to Barb. At first, it seemed like she was content to just chitchat. Out of nowhere, she interjected (while I was telling her about New England). “I'm sorry, I have to get my pad o' paper."

I'm pretty sure it was a trusty spiral-bound notebook that she used frequently, because I could hear a lot of paper being flipped about.

We begin again and she listed off the following questions:

"Your name?
Middle name?
Last name?
Dad's name?
Mom's name?
What they did for a living?
Divorced or married?
First, second, marriage?
Siblings?
Any cousins nearby?
Where you live?
Any family in Charlottesville?
Favorite color?
What High school did you attended?
Presently in College?
Major?
Was that your first choice?
Did you have a "secondary major"?
Any pets?
Do you still live with your parents?
Roommates?
Your roommate's name?
Roommate’s birth date?
How tall are you?
What do you look like?...”

Next, she asked what my culture was. I said Irish. She also asked my eye and hair colors, body type (despite already stating such when asked “how I looked”). Again, she asked for my roommate's birth date (apologies were given for being forgetful, but there was no re-mentioning of her notebook’s presence).

I had called the house phone because when I tried his cell he had a recording stating that if you want to talk to him, to call his house phone (later, he would add to “speak with parents”).

Barb’s impromptu quiz went on for a half hour. Pretty loopy situation but she was nice to me. She kept referring to me as "dear" and what-not. Though, she continued doubled check things and asked me to repeat from five or ten minutes ago up until the very end of the session. At long last, Barb passed Chris the phone.

Chris initially wouldn't talk, at all. He was super quiet, and would penetrate the silence with an occasional “yeah” and “mmyeah”. I'm not sure if his parents were in the room but I aimed to fill in the gaps. I really wanted that shout out.

The time spent talking with Chris was monumentally less than the time with Barb. I spoke to him maybe fifteen minutes tops, and the majority of it was a struggle.

Eventually, he agreed to a shout out. The video was primarily aimed at Emily for missing their date (which I had zero idea about). Once done making excuses for blanking on the stood-up girl, he did the shout out and said the name wrong.

I phoned him back and informed him of the disappointment my friend and I shared. I asked him, point blank, “if you can't remember her name, how could you remember mine?"

Chris profusely apologized… and than went on for twenty minutes about Burnout Paradise. Compared to the other call, it was as if I were speaking with a completely other guy.

"Oh yeah! If things don't work out with [[Emily]] I would consider you for my new heartsweet."

Suddenly, I was pretty uncomfortable. I told him such was probably didn’t need to be considered as Emily really seemed to be his type. Despite this, Chris continued on. He said he wanted to move away from sexual stuff because his last girlfriend “really wore him out”. Apparently, his dick would hurt during the act and would stay sore afterwards.

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Pickle Man left with Emily, then there were the hookers and after Clyde called him, Chris called me. For the rest of our relationship, Chris would be the primary initiator of our phone calls. Only after the completion of a long-term project, or a fuck up would I phone him.

During this call he wasn't so broken up about Emily as he was pissed about the Pickle Man. He was really pissed about Clyde making his mom upset, too. He said his Dad took care of the hookers, though he was brief on the details.

After Chris launched back into video games for a bit, he switched topics.

He told me that since Emily hadn’t worked out he’d like for me do him the honor of… I told him we could see how things went between the two of us. I wanted to take it slow because I really didn’t know him that well. Plus, My dad usually likes to check out guys first. Chris assured me that he too liked to take things slow- and that he could be my man.

He asked about my Sonichu character. I completely blanked. I had briefly mentioned the existence of such during our initial call to get onto his good side. I told him my character's name was Luckette. Chris was disgusted and thought this name sounded “too French”. He recommended something more American, like Daisy!

I had to rush to draw my character and I sent him that. I included some fan art along the way, too. The drawing of my Sonichu character got cropped in Gimp so it dropped the 'e' from the end of “Luckette”. Chris really hated this change. He added that I could improve on my handwriting, too. “You could write hearts over the 'I's".

From the get-go, he would never complement my drawings. He would always find something wrong with them. Like, "This character looks like she has three legs and very bruised eyes”.

He asked me about the drawing of myself. He wanted to know if “the drawing was true to real life”. I didn’t know what to say, so he added: "Is it accurate?". I agreed. He did a nervous laugh and said: "Woahhhh, I could get use to that”!

We then had a really deep discussion about what my character was. Instead of a sheep, Chris said she could be a Flaffy. I mentioned Mareeps and was quickly shut down. Chris than went on about a Sneasel named Reginald…

Chris returned to the subject of names. He insisted that he didn't approve of the French name, or the cropped out “e”. I gave in. I told him I was going to change it to a few other things but he wasn’t pleased with any of these suggestions, either. Finally, I came up with Layla next. I chose Layla because it sounded like a hooker's name- not because of Clapton (though I do like that song!). I thought Chris would moan but he was thrilled. She sounded beautiful!

"I bet my Reginald would find your Layla VERY sexy! I think Reginald would like to take Layla on a date. I think Reginald would like to Layla to McDonald's…”

Chris suddenly told me that he wanted the two to get busy in the McDonald's bathroom. “I bet that before the second part of their date, they could take a potty break and Reginald would leave the door open to be a flirt and they could exchange some kisses," Chris told me. Chris also made mention of them washing their hands together.

Just like Chris wasn’t won over by my names, I wasn’t exactly buying the idea of Layla hooking up with this Reginald. I told Chris that Layla would find Punchy more her type. She's into the Asian persuasion, y’know. Chris was caught off guard.

He could have sworn I knew that Punchy and Angelica was an item. I replied that not everyone ends up with their sweetheart. Chris didn't end up with YOUR high school sweetheart, did he? Nope. Well, nor did I- as I was presently single, after all. “that makes the two of us," Chris giggled. I said the two people could fall in love at any point in their life. He got excited and declared that meant Angelica could help Reginald feel better about himself.

Chris said "I love you”. Now, and whenever else he’d say this I would never say it back, I would say "I'm sure you do" or do something like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM this].

That call was the 19th of March. That same day, he released the edit of the shout out video.

The next time he called me, it was the first time I brought up the 'Holding Out For a Hero' video. He said he'd consider it as. Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.

He asked me if I would ever sing for him in return. He said how he sung with his mom and compared himself to Bing Crosby. He wanted me to sing him an “old song” "I want you to sing me an old song”. I found a video my friend had send me earlier [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7l2HNbGiLM this video] and sing-talked. He wanted me to record this but I told him I didn't have any equipment of that nature. Instead, I taught him the song and he followed along and sang over me. He didn't know the lyrics.

I informed Chris that I would really like it if he sang MY favorite song, too. He threw in some ideas, saying he wanted to make a comic for it. This was great! Although, I was hoping he'd animate it, I was still really impressed that he just had these ideas to begin with.

Sadly, we got into a little tiff because I wanted the Bonnie Tyler version of “Holding out for a Hero” because he already had the Frou frou version from the Shrek 2 soundtrack. He wanted to use that one instead of “spending more coke reward points on the same song”. I didn't like that version. The Bonnie Tyler version reminded me of my Dad. He backed off and agreed to look it up on youtube.

When we caught up again he was really annoyed. He couldn’t identify Bonnie’s gender and preferred the Frou Frou version as “we could slow dance to it”.

I told him again that I preferred Bonnie because of my Dad. Chris sighed and complied, saying he’d allow this sort of thing just this one time. I squealed! “Eeeeeeeeeeeee” just like Bionic in that one comic with hearts in my eyes and such. I asked if he could have it done the next day or so…

It took him about six days to deliver the video. He called before I watched and said he did it all with his PSeye. He wanted to know when I was going to get MY PSeye? (I had revealed that I had a ps3 previously in passing) and he released the video.

The video opened with him looking enthused and diddling about on his plastic guitar. I recall thinking he looked a bit like the guy that had did in John Lenon during those first few frames. Soon, however, it got really good. I never asked why he put the cards in the video, though.

My favorite part was when he started really rocking out and did the guitar solo over his head. Pure delight.

A few days down the line, I asked for a tour of his house. When I visited Chris, I wanted to feel like I was already at home. I wanted my first time walking in his house to be like “yeah, I belong here', and I desired to know where everything is. He preferred to just show me his bedroom. But… how did he get to his bedroom? He offered the garden but no dice. He chuckled and agreed.

Couple days later, I got a phone call pretty early in the morning from Chris. He was freaked out! The previous night a guy claiming to be Clyde (sounded nothing like him based on Chris' impression) left a voice mail saying that he wanted to KILL Chris! After calming him down, I told Chris that I highly doubted that the caller was anywhere near Chris. He was going to be okay. Chris told me that he ”was upset and... things had happened." During this call I would learn all about Chris’ bathroom troubles. He told me had gotten scared and shat himself.

In addition, his mom basically had a vendetta about doing his laundry these days, too, because of this habit of shitting himself when he was stressed or emotional. Whenever Chris would annihilate his pants to some degree he'd simply dump (teehee) his soiled garments in the laundry without taking care of them first. Each time Barb would do laundry, without fail, there’d be a very special surprise waiting for her. This sort of thing had happened since Chris was a kid but it got worse after school completed. His doctor suggested that Chris could change his diet or try exercising to help things. Chris told the doctor he wanted a pill. Since the issue wasn’t anything clinical, the Doctor told Chris that he could wear protective garments, especially since Chris couldn't feel the mess unless he moved around- long after the deed had been completed. "But that's for babies!" Chris clarified by screaming at me. The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “butt garments”.

Barb really wanted Chris to at least try the liners but he was determined. So, Barb stated that she would no longer do his laundry. Though, after that Liquid Clyde call, Barb offered to wash his sheets- the next day. He said he when he had woken up in the middle of the night it had been "a big one”. But, instead of racing off to tell his Mom, Chris climbed out of bed and decided to hide from Clyde by putting one big stuffed animal in the middle of the bed with a pair of sunglasses across it’s face.

Chris hid on the couch and covered himself in stuffed animals. He didn't want to sleep in his bed because of the mess he made, and because “that would be where Clyde would look for him”. If Clyde had infact broken into Chris bedroom that night it was easy to see how Chris potentially would have worked- although not in the way he intended.

After falling back asleep Chris had a "sticky dream." He said that it had about him and me in a pool, and that as he had been my hero, I could be his heroine too- his “God’s angel mermaid”. He stated that when he woke up there was yet another mess but "not a bad mess”. “Oh, you had a wet dream?"

Chris giggled and said: "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"

He added that it was the first pleasant dream he had had in some time… and repeatedly kept corrected me about "sticky dreams”.
After this dream, Chris returned to obsessing over Clyde. I asked Chris what he was going to do about Clyde and was informed that he intended to phone the police - eventually. I pointed out that Clyde was out of the local police's jurisdiction (federal wasn’t mentioned) as Clyde resided now in Australia, after all. Chris didn’t understand what jurisdiction meant, but recognized Australia was too far for Virginia’s boys in blue to visit by car.

I told Chris that he was being too passive. He needed to take charge and be a man. His first confrontation video ended up being kind of lackluster. Others followed and slowly Chris progressed up the ladder… only to get distracted once again.

The next video was one explaining bodily functions to my cousin, Flora (as Chris was an unrivaled expert on this topic). At first he was kind of uncomfortable making it, but I persuaded him that farts were completely natural (like his other ailments) and that he had nothing to worry about. Chris predictably warmed up to the topic and surprised us all by singing for the finale an acoustic ditty of his own.

He produced a steady stream of videos until Rocky made the scene. She appeared March 30th. After she showed up, he decided he didn't want anything to do with youtube. This was a major problem though. Youtube was the only way I could see by boyfriend’s God-given face. He eventually gave in and returned to youtube upon agreement that videos uploaded needn’t stay public. Once viewed and saved onto my ipod, they would each be deleted from his page.

I started to encourage him to stand up for himself, overall, and get that darn ED page taken down. Clyde and ED were all one and the same. Around this time, Chris and Rocky discovered legi0n. Chris was overwhelmed by the colors and sensations of the forum, but before he closed the window, he saw a photoshop of him “as an angel protecting cwcville”. He loved that picture so much.

Around the same point Vanessa Hudgens appeared. She got Chris really excited because she promised him fame and glory in movies. I had a bad feeling about her though. All of Vanessa’s video requests seemed to require Chris’ nudity. I wondered if she was trying to make Chris into a porn actor rather than the next Disney sweetheart? I didn't ask too many questions though, because I had to agree that Chris was a born star.

Chris didn't trust Joshua Martinez, whom had introduced the two. Every time he talked to Vanessa, he had to go through Josh. Chris thought that Josh was hogging her. At the same time, however, Chris was content to play by Josh’s rules.

I gave Chris the idea for his next domain name, cwcville.com. He was fairly hung up on purchasing sonichuandrosechuforever.com (or an alternative name of the same nature if his first choice was revealed to be already occupied). However, he was quickly swayed by cwcville.com as it was still proclaimed one of his many creations. We had the hopes that he'd make the new site into a big portal that would feature BRAND NEW, NEVER RELEASED, and ORIGINAL material. He registered the domain via godaddy instead of geocities. He selected "godaddy" as it made him think that it was a family friendly domain registrar or something (thus more trustworthy and accepting of his content).

After cwcville.com was established, Chris started on episode 19. While working on pages he made some fanart of Layla and Punchy swapping underwear. I had suggested Chris draw Punchy in women’s underwear sometime (to symbolically display an acceptance of Chris’ interests). When I saw the finished product, I noticed he had shoehorned Layla in there as well. “They both have to do it,” he insisted, “together forever”. Before coloring the final piece he decided to sketch out a one-off of Layla blowing Punch while in wearing boxers.

His plan for episode 19 involved their date at McDonalds. Chris kept talking about how they'd have sex in the bathroom. He also made a ham-fisted analogy between Punchy/Layla and him/myself. He said that our first date would be at McDonalds, too, and his desire to fuck me in the lavatory. Chris claimed that he normally didn’t approve of sex before marriage, but he was a modern man now who changed with the times. I asked him if Punchy would have the condom, but Chris was adamant that Punchy didn’t have pockets and was insulted when I referenced cartoon loopholes. He tried to suggest that Layla had the condom, but I wouldn't let him as Layla is not that kind of girl. Chris eventually decided that Layla could choose when and when not to birth.

After that pressing matter got resolved, he declared that they were "going to have some fun". Chris also wanted to include queefing. There was an episode of South Park that aired right before this, so it's obvious that's where he got the queefing idea. Though, he never did bring the show up (at least, in reference to queefing). Instead, he acted like he was suddenly concerned about women's problems. I thought this was weird, but backed up his argument by referencing his incontinence problems. He said that because I accepted his perpetual mud butt, it should be OK for him to be supportive of queefers and include it within the upcoming comic.

I thought that was a great idea! And since I knew about the episode of South Park, I suggested he get glitter and put it in the comic, too. He ended up getting stickers instead. And sadly, in the final cut, he ended up coloring over the queef entirely. I was very disappointed.

While Layla and Punchy were on their date, Layla got a greek salad with ranch dressing, pickles on the side, and a diet coke. She was watching her figure, after all, implored Chris. Punchy offered her some free fries as they sat across from one another at the day-glo dinner table. Hailing back to her petting zoo roots, Layla ate them from his hand, careful not to nip any wayward digits.

This instance, along with the fact that Punchy had tolerated her gassy vagina, really wowed Layla. She was so impressed that when they went for their "potty break", she ended up fucking the echidna-hitmon-chu.

Chris went into detail about how this unfurled: He said that Punchy had gone to the men’s room and had left the door ajar while he used the facilities. After simultaneously “relieving himself and flirting with Layla” he decided to visit her in the women’s bathroom. They selected the handicapped stall in which to have sex because of the extra elbowroom. After their bathroom escapades, they head to Layla's house to eat again (possibly dessert? Chris intended no innuendos).

Meanwhile, Reginald is a jealous little spunk. Originally, Chris had really dramatic ideas planned for Reginald. The blue Sneazelchu was going to slash Punchy's tires. He also was supposed to walk in on Punchy and Layla having sex in the McDonald’s bathroom.

I'm fairly certain that all of this hilarious material was axed from the comic because Chris had been showing Rocky his crafts and basically censored himself in the process. To me, however, he simply said he wanted to keep things "TV-Y7".

While Chris was working on all this, he had a new dream. After a few rage videos against Clyde, the unpleasant troll dreams had ceased. His latest bizarre dream involved the show “Hey Arnold”. He asked me if I remembered Hey Arnold and when I answered yes, he shrieked: "THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S A FOOTBALL HEAD!” After I picked the phone back up off the floor he apologized and assured me that had been his "Helga Pataki coming out".

Next, he performed several impressions of the Hey Arnold characters that all sounded eerily similar to one another... In particular, he was especially proud of his Phoebe because she sounded like Angelica Rosechu. Phoebe wanted to stick around for quite awhile but eventually Chris let me in on his dream.

It started off with him skiing on a mountain with Arnold. They went off a steep jump and flew/floated through space. When they returned to Earth, they landed in the ocean atop a pair of identical surfboards. Chris high fives Arnold and sees everyone on the beach cheering for them.

He then began rambling on about his many cats and Patti (in Heaven, she prefers to hang around with former First Kitty, Sox). He asked me if I had pets and I told him that I had two hermit crabs, Crass and Champ. I told Chris that they were married and he suddenly became very interested in the vivacious pair. Always open-minded, he didn't even ask their genders. I don’t think Chris ever did find out that they were both males…

It was after I mentioned Crass and Champ that he started talking about visiting the crustaceans and I in real life. He asked me what I would think if I woke up one day and rolled over to find him lying next to me, formerly spooning? Chris would be smiling fondly at me, and would I return this? Or perhaps begin squealing with delight? I asked how he'd manage to get into my dorm room in the first place. He said he'd arrange something with my roommate as she “was clearly supportive of our union”. Despite being fairly certain my roommate wasn’t a shipper fangirl, I made sure to point out to Chris that he most likely wouldn't even have been able to get into the building.

He changed game plan. He said he'd just show up at my Starbucks job. He would be excited to see "his sweetie serving treaties". He was also really stoked about getting free drinks while there, and wanted to know if he could get free food, too. I had an inkling that McDonalds would be but a distant memory after he had the ability to save those burger dollars and fill up on toffee bars.

He than announced that he intended to stroll up to the counter and order.

“I’ll have a caramel macchiato, caramel on the side. I’ll have it on my lover, later on.”
Chris decided to upload a video greeting the crabs and I. This was the “notoriously creepy” video that ended up on the radio stations. I will always hold dear how much he loved my crabs… and how eager he was to take them for “walkies”.

The next video I requested was for him to get all dolled up for a date with me. I wanted him to mime what our magical first date would be like. Somewhere along the way McDonalds was forgotten. Had Chris and I grown too close for him to uphold this sacred courtship step? I’m thinking the comic took care of such necessary details (and saved him a few bucks in the process). So, instead of elaborating about me rolling over for fries he decided to bring a special guest on the show: a sex doll with my drawn face on it.

After seeing those videos, I asked Chris how church went. We ended up getting onto the topic of Easter. Chris started rambling about Easter hunts and how he was upset that he no longer received presents or chocolate anymore. With a stiff upper lip, he accepted that he didn’t get these things, however, because he is “now man, not a little boy”.

I asked him to relive his favorite childhood Easter memories in a video. I also requested he wear his "Easter best". His interpretation of this request was the bunny hop video. Crayola red graced his nose but, sadly, he decided to use permanent markers for his bunny whiskers. He whined about how hard it was to get off and how he was “stuck blushing”.

At this time, Chris loved having a schedule and regular work. I gave him an assignment of three comic pages a day. On the weekend he was to color the completed pages. After the bunny hop video, he had to be persuaded to upload the pages on time because he was tired from scrubbing the permanent marker off of his face.

A couple days later I discovered, through the grapevine, that Chris had been cheating on me with Vanessa. I insisted that I wasn't angry with Vanessa but I was angry with him, although Chris kept pleading with me not to blame Vanessa. I decided to punish him by requesting a video of him spanking himself. Although my intention wasn't that he be naked, Chris decided to kill two birds with one stone and film the spanking video immediately after the shower video he made for Vanessa. I had repeatedly asked for Chris to upload the video, per usual, to youtube and he point-blank refused. After viewing the video, needless to say I knew why.

Some troll sent Chris a package of “butt garments” in the mail. Barb thought that they were samples from their doctor, so she kept them, just in case. Chris was angry that she was keeping the diapers and tried to steal them from her multiple times, but he failed. Barb squirreled them away in her room.

My roommate was also really offended that Chris cheated on me and insisted that a mere spanking wasn't an acceptable punishment. She suggested he wear the diapers and label his crotch as "unfit for collection". During the photo shoot Chris decided to lick his medallion and throw a wink our way, as he wanted to “still look good for me”.

Afterwards, he had to sneak the remaining diapers back into his mother's room. Given this atonement, Chris’ mood returned to normal. He began discussing his plans for meeting up with me again and blamed his unfulfilled libido on his temptation to cheat. He had never mentioned this resurgence of “needs”. Just like with the Easter discussion, and many discussions before, Chris reminded me that he was “a man”. He made to sure to add that Julie had been “forever ago by now”, too.
Chris blamed me for why he cheated on Vanessa, and stressed it wasn't Vanessa's fault. He said he felt neglected because his needs weren't being met.

"You said Julie wore you out," I told him.

"But that was forever ago!!" Chris protested.

I asked him why he was telling me all this now but had never gave me a prior explanation. I followed this up by asking what kinds of needs he had. The response wasn’t entirely pleasant. Some of the conversations were as such:

He fantasized about us being married together. I told him I was going to for my PhD in Art History and wanted to take my time [when it came to marriage]. He said he'd do art as well when we were married, but as a “writer/artist”. I’d come home from a long day of work… then Chris have to go to work. I’d cook. Chris wanted know if I would mind if, he was really stressed out, if he could go to the strip club on the way home? I was taken aback. He was supposed to be telling me about how he had needs. Were these it? He continued by elaborating that if he was especially stressed, this would allow me to continue cooking without his stress interrupting the process.

So, I asked him what we’d do if I had sexual needs?

“I’m sorry, what?” was the reply.

I re-iterated that women have sexual needs, too. He understood. I continued: “therefore, if I'm stressed out, do I get to go to the strip club?"

Chris was very confused. He told me that there were women already there. I offered a male strip club. Chris told me he didn’t think we had those in Virginia. I asked Chris what if we had a threesome and he said he'd be okay with such. I added that wanted a second man to join us. I received another “what” before he proclaimed that he no longer wished to discuss such topics.

Chris next asked me about my art phd. I told him about how I wanted to be a museum curator. I asked about his college degree and he said he would use it to draw his comic. I didn’t understand how this work, given the nature of his degree. I concluded that this would mean I was the breadwinner. Chris chimed in that "yeah, we're modern like that”.

I asked what would happen when we procreated. He said that when had Crystal, I’d have to take a time out from working. Without hesitation, I asked what if I didn't like the name Crystal? After some disgruntled sighs, I started on about how Crystal was a stripper name. He got upset. Chris always knew his Daughter was supposed to be named Crystal- God told him so! I asked him what if God told me that MY daughter's name wasn’t crystal, and he got mad. I flat out told him that if I'm the bread winner and was going to carry the kid and go through labor that I should at least have say in the naming process. Besides, he’d have his stripper friends named Crystal, having a baby named such too would be overkill. He kinda broke down about it and he said we’d discuss such things when the time actually came.

Chris was, once again, suddenly turned on. We got back on the subject of what we would do if we met and how I'd be coming down to Ruckersville when I graduated. He was getting fairly frisky and wanted to get all intimate. Chris wanted to know how I’d go down on him. He told me that if he ate something before the deed how I too would taste it. I remember asking him about Country Cookin’ around this point to move the topic along. Since he goes there a lot, after all. Chris said eats spinach and dessert first, then eat chicken. From Chicken we returned to… I indulged him. I asked him what would he eat beforehand? He said he'd eat these things immediately, and they’d be strawberries.

I asked him if it’d taste like "strawberry milk”? "No, just strawberries". The subject of recycling his semen was visisted. I asked him to enjoy some strawberries on video and then try to see if his afterbirth tasted like strawberries, too. He said he didn't have strawberries in his house because they’d just spoil in the Chandler’s fridge. I asked him if he had chocolate and he said "yeah, some chocolate syrup for chocolate milk!”. So, I told him to try that instead. Though, he said he'd “do it all together on camera”...

I'd try to keep the calls short because otherwise he'd talk for two hours. 15 minutes was always the ideal length for me. I called him back when he said the video would be done. Chris said he didn't have any chocolate syrup so he opted instead for orange Fanta. Chris downed it.

On the 16th, after Chris had shown me the video privately, Clyde hacked Chris's website and leaked multiple videos. The spanking video, and Chris dancing about in the shower with an imaginary me. When I saw that video I asked him about it. He said it was for Vanessa. Chris was ready to take on nude roles. As mentioned, I asked for the spanking video but I didn't ask for it to be in nude. Now I knew why it had been. I purposely did not want any nudes of Chris.

Chris thought Clyde "interrupted the stream" as opposed to hacking his website with his password or something like that. So, he never changed a thing with godaddy.

The next day, Chris spoke with Vanessa again and reported to me about how he was behaving even though she was up on her ways. He never thought twice about telling me about how much Vanessa wanted him. I cried about how I felt he was still cheating on me and he made the video kissing the blow up doll. Unsatisfied, I wanted a video where he swore on the bible that he wouldn't cheat on me again but instead he simply quoted verses. Though I appreciated the effort, it still wasn’t enough. I asked him if he remembered all the old videos he rid of? Like that one video where shot Adam Stackhouse? He did. I asked if he would upload it since it made him look like a badass and might scare off Clyde. He said it’d be like he was defending me! Indeed, two birds – one stone.

I later re-discovered how much I had enjoyed Christian and the Hedgehog boys when it first hit the e-waves. I asked Chris to make an album another album. Chris wanted to include his girlfriend- and the crabs. I gave him song ideas and he went to town with them. Some of them were long, though, and he kinda got bored. That’s why the songs in toward the end were not as creative as the first few. Like "Paradise by the Seashore Light”.

When the album was released and I shared it with all my friends. Just like everything else, Clyde got ahold of it. I remember asking why Layla was included on the cover. Chris said she wanted to join and was the stage manager. She was peaking out from behind the curtains- not being a dismembered floating head.

Even after all the tears, Chris began letting slip about his planned meetings with Vanessa around town. They decided to meetup at long last. Josh got Chris to go to the JMU campus with a sign and every time Chris would think he saw her, she would disappear. Chris stressed how didn't want to use that sign so he decided on wearing a hat, too. I thought Vanessa and I could be friends but josh had other intentions. He wanted to exploit Chris for money and would do this by going through Vanessa.

Josh claimed to have very strong ties to the FBI and threatened to hack into Chris’ ps3. Josh wanted to monitor Chris 24/7 as punishment for not meeting up with Vanessa not giving her the "presents” she had requested. I was upset to learn about the times Chris had gone out with Joshua to TGI Fridays. During one date, Chris didn't have enough money for food because he spent his week’s allowance on the previous time they went out. Josh just ordered a meal for himself and ate it in front of him while Chris watched. Chris just got a slushie drink and asked for refills. The waitress did not like this.
Later on, Chris discovered that he was being mocked by Clyde again. I suggested Chris perform a string of videos to prove to Clyde, once and for all, that Chris meant business. This included baring his fangs at the camera and giving the PSeye a good smack ‘round. Sadly, nothing worked with Clyde…

At TGI Fridays, Josh got Chris to pay for his meals. He kept telling Chris that they would go meet Vanessa. Every time Vanessa failed to show and Josh would enjoy the meal on Chris' dime, obviously.

Once, the proposed meeting place was at JMU. Chris went there with a sign looking for Vanessa, but only found campus police. While there, Chris donned a hat and tried to keep a low profile.

I discovered that Chris was driving all over the place looking for Vanessa, and at JMU in particular, I began to doubt Chris' loyalty. Chris recommended a simple video reiterating his promises to me, but I insisted that, this time, such was not good enough. I suggested a full-blown marriage ‘what if?’ comic/video and he proposed. My Daddy, whom always reminded me of Coach McGuirk, made his first appearance in the comic.

Chris really loved the Coach McGuirk idea. He spoke with my father on the phone and wowed him with stories about him being in the cub scouts. Daddy, meanwhile, quizzed Chris. What was his home life like? What was his game plan for the future? Chris, proudly, informed Daddy that his job was “writing Sonichu updates”. Daddy asked: “what the fag is that, son?”. Chris changed the topic…

All of my friends made an appearance in the wedding comic. I also suggested the November Rain wedding dress as, since I was already at the big top, I might as well dress for the occasion, too. Chris decided that he would have to wear his clown shirt in the comic- not because of the ceremony’s theme, but because no one would recognize him if he was wearing a normal suit alone. No, the medallion was not enough.

It was in this comic that he finally put to use stickers originally intended for Layla's feminist queef. They were made the petals for flower girl, Ching Chong, to scatter. Celion Dion was chosen as the background music because… well, Meatloaf had a hangover and I don’t think Chris would have been comfortable with Elton John, even if the man had previously played at Crass and Champ’s ceremony (therefore insuring us a recommendation discount!).

Clyde showed up again, dropping more Vanessa info and videos. It was after that that Chris attempted to meet up with Vanessa once more. A wild goose chase ensued. Every time Chris showed up at a prospective meeting place, he received a call stating that Miss. Vanessa was at another joint. On that one night, Chris drove around the Charlottesville area, looking for Vanessa from 6 pm to 2 am.

The following day was a particularly dense call time for Chris and I. All in all, I received more than 30 calls in a single 24 hour period from Chris (I had decided to ignore him for that one day). When I finally did pick up, Chris wasn’t happy but nor was I. He had worried me by not phoning the day of the Vanessa excursion. So, to make up for it, Chris drew us the honeymoon comic.

I asked why he had included six glade plug-ins with our suite. Chris claimed that a single one wasn’t strong enough for his small bedroom so a suite would require much, much more. Things were about to get dirt-ay, after all! Plus, there was that whole thing with Chris defecating whenever he experienced a sincere, triggering, emotion…

While drawing the honeymoon comic, Chris wanted to draw his penis life sized. I called him to find out what was holding things up and Chris revealed that he had taken a break to cuddle with Mommy. After considering the situation, Chris decided to hand off the phone to Barb. Barb was, surprisingly, very friendly. She had been such during my initial quizzing, but now her guard was completely brought down. Chris was, however, impatient because Barb had interrupted him while he was drawing his dick. His dick was bent in the comic because I didn't want him whitewashing history and pretending his dick had no curve to it. As previously implied, the theme of our relationship had always been one of acceptance (and feces).

Chris claimed the speed lines across our bodies were due to the “camera zooming in on the goodies”. After Barb finally left the room, Chris settled on just tracing his dick. The tracing was his idea to simplify the process of drawing his dick accurately (and so he wouldn’t have to look at it for too long). He attempted to trace his “small sack” with it’s “lots of cum” but eventually gave up and winged it.

Chris asked if my comic self had any powers so I made up a sort of fursona analogue to Chris-Chan Sonichu. One surprise in the comic was the re-appearance of my father, giving permission for Chris to deflower me. I appreciated Chris asking Daddy… before asking me. Chris gave his "scout's honor" to take care of me.

After that dastardly Clyde intercepted the honeymoon comic it went public. In addition, all these debauched accounts of sex and freewheeling fecal matter reached poor, innocent Ching Chong's ears. She had become confused and terrified of my poor, insane, boyfriend. I suggested that Chris make a video explaining his behavior and why it’s natural. Honestly, I primarily requested an explanation of the leaked spanking video, but Chris offered a bonus discussion about his poopoo problemos and navy consumption. This video, in particular, became very notorious across the internet (and airewaves) on such sites as hiphop superstars and more.

To cover his ass to Rocky, he made a follow-up video disavowing responsibility, and blaming me for mention (and revelation) of his worse moments to the world.

During all of these events, Chris began to have sleeping problems. He complained that he couldn’t turn off his brain when falling asleep, and that he couldn’t wake his brain when getting up in the morning.

I decided to stick to Chris’ canon of me. I suggested he share these problems with the world! Since he was slipping on his comic schedule, anyways, I added he make more videos and other content to put out. Quizzes, quizzes, and more quizzes was Chris’ response. Although, during this time he made a wikipedia page, too.

At one point, Chris told me that he detested the word "sammies" (diminutive for sandwich). He hated the word because when he took up fucking his bed pillow, he always folds it around his dick like a sandwich. The word "sammy" reminded him of this practice and it embarrassed him. Mayo was not mentioned at any point…

Discussion of the Autism papers was brought up during our relationship, too. It is no secret that Chris likes to use his handicap as a crutch. I would often tell Chris that he wasn’t handicapped. but instead that he was handicapable. He had a car, right? And Charlottesville was his playpen to embrace and explore forever more. However, Chris insisted that his Autism was a burden. I requested to learn more about his diagnosis. If we were to have children, would our offspring be at risk for the disease? Chris did not like this term. Though, he was willing to look into the matter— of the sake of little Roberta Latrine (formerly Crystal Weston). It was quickly discovered that the papers were locked up in a hutch with the key’s constantly on Bob’s person. The subject was not touched upon again.

Eventually, he had one more chat with Officer Keino. It was revealed during this time that Chris had gone to the police because of Josh - and with Rocky. As previously stated, Chris kept mentioning going to the police, but I didn't think he’d actually do so as that would entail explaining things to his parents. Also, Bob and Barb have always been extremely afraid of the authorities. For years, Bob has burnt all troll mail they receive in a barrel in the backyard (troll gifts, however, were consumed by the family or put to use).

Bob hid the vast majority of troll material from Barb.

The breaking point for Bob and Barb had been Josh. He had sold Chris a PSP with a non-existent feature for a higher price than a normal PSP. Chris made no secret of intention of giving his old PSP to Vanessa.

While Josh was scamming Chris, Chris scammed Josh back by giving him a bad check. Bob and Barb end up agreeing to go to the police with Rocky to catch Josh and ONLY Josh. They agree ONLY to discuss matters regarding Josh as they were handling "Clyde and the trolls on their own terms".

Taking advantage of the situation, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb at the station by monopolizing and domineering the police’s help. She pushed for the authorities to investigate all the trolls- and Ivy, as well. Despite his parents protests, Rocky went against their wishes and ignored their harbored anxiety.

Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. While Bob/Barb and Josh continued their feud over a PSP, I broke up with Chris over his betrayal. Chris, however, didn’t stop calling. After two days, Daddy and I had to have Bob tell Chris to leave our family alone.

During this call, Bob told me that he and Barb were planning on going up with Chris to visit me at Boston University! Initially, Chris intended to visit alone but was concerned about visiting as my University's website featured an ethnically diverse student body. Bob and Barb decided to join and had begun saving up for the entire family's vacation.

The trip was called off because Barb discovered Chris was stealing from her purse. He had been sneaking small changed for awhile (in addition to using their credit cards on PSN), but recently it had become larger and larger amounts. I had known about the cards on PSN but Chris had told me such things “was in the past”. He did, however, stress that his parents were unaware of his five-finger-discounts. Chris’ pocket-book thievery was revealed at the police station to everyone.

Sadly, the events during this time period really got to Barb and Bob mentioned that she threatened to kill herself.

Bob continued the conversation and informed me that he would handle Josh. Bob didn’t trust the police to help because Chris was also a guilty party, and had previous run-ins (six to seven incidents, he stated). So, Bob intended to save the matter for small claims court. As for the trolls, Bob was convinced that Megan (“that CRUEL, GERMAN, girl” he dubbed her) was behind the evil doings. He revealed that the Chandlers had started getting harassed back in 1999 by a man named Jamie Dunn (who also tried to land Bob in the slammer). Furthermore, Bob stated that there were people in the world penning thesis’ about Chris for their degrees.

Bob no longer trusted Rocky. Bob said he'd tell Chris to stop calling me and at the same time, he requested that he use my father's clout to help catch Josh.

Although Bob was rather pushy he did back off soon after- with a heavy heart, and respectfully so. He made one final plea that I re-consider. Chris and his family required “all the help they could get”. Bob said I could trust him, that he was “as clean as they get”. Unlike Rocky, Bob never thought I was a troll. Bob and Barb had always polite to me, kind even. It was a tragedy that things had to end the way things did- that Chris still had no concept of the word “no”.

Bob asked if I wanted to speak with Chris. Bob wanted us to keep talking. At the very least, if I decided to stick to my guns, he asked if I’d say goodbye to his son. I had to decline- to go back now and hear his voice again would have been too painful…

And than I killed myself.

Ivy Q&A

2011-02-13T16:12:52Z

Mp83: Making officer keino a link

==Q01==
Assuming that you weren't forced to abort, what was your original plan for ending the saga? Did you have anything special planned for the breakup?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 17:18, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Not really. I was just going to ride it out to a certain point. Like any other relationship, I would have broke it off if things got stale.
==Q02==
* Also how did you get Chris to watch End of Evangelion and did he have any prior exposure to the series?--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 19:42, 3 February 2011 (PST)

I liked Evangelion to an extent but it was my good friend who was the real fan. He wanted Chris to watch it. I basically said "Oh, you should watch this, you'll enjoy it" and that's what kicked it off. Chris said he liked the sex scene between Misato "and that guy" but that Rei melting everywhere made him uncomfortable. He was familiar with Evangelion but not really a heavy watcher.

==Q03==

How much contact did you have with Chris? Also, were you ever actually planning on meeting Chris like he mentions in [[For_My_Sweetest_Ivy|this]] video?--[[User:Sack Thaddic|Sack Thaddic]] 18:15, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Chris called me a lot- it would have been impossible to keep track of how often. I'd just pick up and talk to him then.

==Q04==

How much input did you have into the content Chris produced during the saga? Were the Wedding/Honeymoon Comics based on your suggestions, or did Chris come up with it on his own?--[[User:Dethchemist77|Dethchemist77]] 18:27, 3 February 2011 (PST)

Basically I would plant the seed and Chris would sow it. I'd occasionally suggest small details like what someone would wear or which friends I would want included or whatever. For the wedding comic, I just suggested that we have a wedding comic to prove himself to me. I made a few suggestions but he pretty much did it all on his own.
With the honeymoon comic, I said something like "I want a honeymoon comic" and he did things like have my dad, [[Officer Keino]], make an appearance. Though… I specifically wanted him to make an accurate depiction of his dick in the wedding comic because I worried he'd hide the bend. To comply with this request he traced his penis to cut down on effort (and staring).

==Q05==

Opinions regarding how Chris became the way he is vary from assigning him over nine thousand different mental diseases and disorders, to crediting his 'perfect storm' of behavioral issues to simply shitty parenting of an autistic kid. As one of his more dedicated trolls, what are your thoughts? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)

Like Lady Gaga would say, I think he was born that way. :(

==Q06==

Most of the trolling aside from BlueSpike's efforts seems designed with the ultimate goal of helping Chris (eg "Get a job" is a requirement of practically all sweethearts). Do you believe this has had any effect? Can they? Following on from that, do you support BlueSpike style trolling, aka purposely inflicting as much harm on Chris as possible with no 'goal'? --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 13:43, 4 February 2011 (PST)

I really haven't been following trolling in Chris since I've been playing golf in Heaven with Boudicca and Lilith so I'm not really sure. But, I really don't think either method is effective. Neither result will help nor harm Chris in the long run.

==Q07==

Is it true that one time when Chris called you, one of your parents (or someone pretended to be your parent) picked up the phone and told Chris off for calling all the time and so damn early in the morning? --[[User:Nhocgreen|Nhocgreen]] 20:49, 4 February 2011 (PST)

No.

==Q08==

Was there a point were trolling Chris stopped being fun and became a chore? As in, because he kept calling, you felt you HAD to talk to him and you HAD to keep dealing with him? A follow up question: was it your idea to end it or and outside source? -- [[User:TheMAN|TheMAN]] 03:03, 5 February 2011 (PST)

For the first question, it never felt like a chore because I'd only pick up when I wanted to and we'd have fun. It stopped being fun towards the end. It got kinda sketchy and I felt uncomfortable. It got too personal. As for the second part, you'll see a thorough answer further down...

==Q09==

The say that a madman falling in love with you is a scarier situation than a madman wanting to kill you. Were you frightened or disturbed by any of your contacts with Chris? Or if not, were you merely amused by his bizarre methods of showing affection? --[[User:DJChaos|DJChaos]] 15:22, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I was often amused by Chris, perplexed, and impressed. But he wasn't really that bad, he would just gross me out.

==Q10==

When Rocky decided to call the police, did you have any conversations with her at all? Obviously the background check on you came up with nothing, but did you have any problems at all with Rocky's meddling? - [[User:Machop|Machop]] 16:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I didn't talk to Rocky. We had constant problems with Rocky as did Bob and Barb. It didn't just affect me and Josh, but Chris's home life. She's a troll herself. If she was really trying to help Chris, she could help Barb and Bob as well. But she didn't. Her priority has always been to pursue trolls in lieu of helping Chris. She had this motivation from day one. "I'm trolling you back" pretty much sums up Rocky.

==Q11==

This one's kinda stupid, but i am a little curious. When Chris made the wedding comic the dress was ripped off from November Rain. Since Chris only listens to video game music or songs from guitar hero, chances are he never heard of that song or seen that video. Did you ever mention that you liked guns and roses/November rain, or is that some of his random accessness? --[[User:CaseHa|CaseHa]] 17:10, 5 February 2011 (PST)

I mentioned the dress explicitly. I told him I loved the video and I loved the dress. I thought, "If I'm going to get married at the circus, let's go all out".

==Q12==

If you had one more time to troll Chris before you died, what else would you have done to the manchild? --[[User:PedoforkBait|PedoforkBait]] 18:06, 5 February 2010 (PST)

Nothing, because I am dead.

==Q13==

Probably a stupid question but have you ever talked to Barb or Bob on the phone? If so, How did it go? --[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:41, 6 February 2011 (PST)

Yes, keep scrolling!

==Q14==

How did you find out about Chris stealing his parent's credit cards for his PSN account?

--[[User:Lucida|Lucida]] 7:52, 6 February 2011 (PST)

I confronted him about the bounced check and he admitted to using his parents' cards on PSN. Bob later told me Chris was nicking small change from Barb and that he knew Chris was stealing from them via their credit cards.

==Q15==

Kind of piggybacking on another user's question: If you had had the chance to meet Chris in person, how do you think the event would have progressed? Would you have attempted to follow Chris's itinerary to a certain point before suggesting different activities, ride it the whole way through, or completely hijack it? Also, judging how the date with Emily (and any other female) went, it seems that Chris's ultimate goal in meeting up with a woman is to kiss and/or bed her. Would you have been prepared for his advances? Would you have brought along a chaperon/bodyguard, or did you believe that Chris was actually pretty harmless and that you could easily deflect his moves?

-- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 17:08 7 February 2011 (EST) [minor edit for grammar]

If Chris showed up at my house, I'd call my dad and yell "RAPE!". I wouldn't be worried about actual rape but just because Chris brings trouble. I'm also pretty certain Purrell doesn't clean feces… I don't want him touching me with those hands.

==Q16==

Ivy, I am curious. What was your reaction to the creeptacular videos Chris made for you, particularly "Message for Ivy" and "For my Sweetest Ivy"? Did you start to second guess your decision to help troll Chris? What was your reaction to "For my Sweetest Ivy" getting played on the radio? It seems Chris has arguably made some of his creepiest and disturbing videos during your saga, and was totally enamored with you. Was there anything different you were doing in your trolling of Chris over the phone, as he seemed to be obsessed with your more than any other "sweetheart" of any saga before or since. I only ask this since we don't have your phone calls to hear for ourselves, so I'm curious if you did anything unique to get Chris so wrapped up in you? [[User:Nigroid|Nigroid]] 14:26, 7 February 2011 (PST)

Everything Chris does impresses me. Whether it's backstabbing me or wooing me, I have always been impressed. I loved when one of Chris' videos to me was on the radio. Why would I record myself? I'm just having fun with my good buddy Chris.

==Q17==

Ivy's Ghost, what was it about what you did that seemed to influence Chris to draw comic and also bring the crazy out of him? Also, you seem to have been the last sweetheart to use a fursona/sonic recolor sidekicks. Would you recommend future sweethearts to do the same? [[User:Barachulove|Barachulove]] 20:23, 7 February 2011 (PST)

Already answered the first part. As for the second part, there's no surefire recipe to get Chris to do what you want him to do. If Chris likes you, he likes you. It's just purely a matter of chance.

==Q18==

Ivy, I guess this question has to do with meeting Chris, but how badly did Chris want to meet you in real life? And did Chris have any intentions of getting married with you(because of his daughter Crystal), or possibly getting a place together(If it went that far in Chris's mind)? Or did Chris just want you inside of his filthy home and having degrading "hanky-panky" in the garbage heaps of his house(because nothing says romance like rolling around in some garbage with an overweight man-child)? [[Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]] 4:20, 8 February 2011 (EST)

Yes to all the above. I don't know how far the rabbit hole goes, and I didn't want to find out.

==Q19==

Any relation to Poison Ivy? [[User:TheIronFjord|TheIronFjord]] 10:29, 8 February 2011 (EST)

SOUL CALIBER.

==Q20==

This is an odd one, but was there, at any time, a moment when you felt a morsel of pity and/or (misguided) affection for Chris, or believed that he could be changed? (Granted, we mostly despise Chris, but there are a few times when some of us feel sorry for him and wish he could improve himself.) Do you believe Chris can redeem himself and become a somewhat functioning member of society, or is he a lost cause? For that matter, did you consider white knighting? -- [[User:Elliecoral|Elliecoral]] 18:11, 8 February 2011 (EST)

I felt bad for Chris when Josh was ripping him off until I found out that Chris was ripping Josh off as well. I feel bad for his parents. They did make him, but they also had to endure problems themselves. There's some mental illness in the family, I bet. I don't think Chris can get better because all the influences in his life suck.

==Q21==

Your saga produced some of the most bizzare behavior from Chris. While he certainly did some weird stuff before you came along, his videos for you contained some of the most disturbing behavior he has ever shown. Among Chris's sweethearts, what made you so unique that you were able to get such strangeness out of him? Did you approach him differently? [[User:Farm Zombie|Farm Zombie]] 01:08, 9 February 2011 (PST)

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

==Q22==

What was the grossest thing Chris ever said to you? I think other people have already asked this but how did you get Chris to start talking to you and did he ever get a "real" picture of you? (as in a picture of a random person from the internet) Or was Chris just going off of drawn pictures?[[User:Interested bystander|Interested bystander]] 19:01, 9 February 2011 (PST)

Chris was going off the drawing alone. The grossest things he said to me were anything involving his bodily functions, him sleeping in the the products of said bodily functions. Oh and "sammies".

==Q23==

Was it hard to play it straight when talking to Chris on the phone? Did you ever break character, or just start cracking up? [[User:darkhorse816|darkhorse816]] 22:21, 9 February 2011 (CST)

If I was bored, I was bored. If I laughed, I laughed. I hid nothing. A lot of it was me saying "yeah, yeah, uh huh". I just had him call me back. Whatever I felt, I made no secret of.

==Q24==

Outside of what's been documented, are there any funny Chris stories you can share with us? [[User:John Ritter&39;s Nutsack|John Ritter&39;s Nutsack]] 15:57, 5 February 2011 (PST)

{insert interview HERE}
Actually, John Ritter’s Nutsack, I do have a select few!

During the time of CWCiki’s successful contact, I was busy in heaven getting my nails did. I’ve got a super shade color here, Blue Satin #461 by Chanel. I paid 48-H Quarters at the Church of the Miraculous Nordstrom for it…

I remember that there was a time when my entire existence filtered through this color, blue. Battery Blue… paired with Mellow Yellow- and so very much brown.

In the beginning, I used to watch the Chris videos with various friends because he reminded me of different peers from high school (my graduating class was upwards of 500 individuals. More peers always ment a higher challenged population roaming the hallways unattended).

I wanted to surprise a good friend by getting a shout out from Chris for us. When I finally achieved this he said her name wrong during the recording. I phoned him back and pointed out the error. Chris promised to get right to amending this mistake. No big deal, right?

Well, this pretty much set the tone for our entire relationship.

Before the Emily date occurred, when I initially phoned Chris, I was subjected to a quiz by his parents. I spoke to Bob first.

"Hi! I'm such and such, from such and such. Oh, I know Chris from INSERT PLACE HERE.”

Bob responded by urging me to slow down. He said some endearing terms, though I don't remember the specifics. Politely, he informed me that he had to get his wife because “she's in charge of messages for Chris”.

He passed me to Barb. At first, it seemed like she was content to just chitchat. Out of nowhere, she interjected (while I was telling her about New England). “I'm sorry, I have to get my pad o' paper."

I'm pretty sure it was a trusty spiral-bound notebook that she used frequently, because I could hear a lot of paper being flipped about.

We begin again and she listed off the following questions:

"Your name?
Middle name?
Last name?
Dad's name?
Mom's name?
What they did for a living?
Divorced or married?
First, second, marriage?
Siblings?
Any cousins nearby?
Where you live?
Any family in Charlottesville?
Favorite color?
What High school did you attended?
Presently in College?
Major?
Was that your first choice?
Did you have a "secondary major"?
Any pets?
Do you still live with your parents?
Roommates?
Your roommate's name?
Roommate’s birth date?
How tall are you?
What do you look like?...”

Next, she asked what my culture was. I said Irish. She also asked my eye and hair colors, body type (despite already stating such when asked “how I looked”). Again, she asked for my roommate's birth date (apologies were given for being forgetful, but there was no re-mentioning of her notebook’s presence).

I had called the house phone because when I tried his cell he had a recording stating that if you want to talk to him, to call his house phone (later, he would add to “speak with parents”).

Barb’s impromptu quiz went on for a half hour. Pretty loopy situation but she was nice to me. She kept referring to me as "dear" and what-not. Though, she continued doubled check things and asked me to repeat from five or ten minutes ago up until the very end of the session. At long last, Barb passed Chris the phone.

Chris initially wouldn't talk, at all. He was super quiet, and would penetrate the silence with an occasional “yeah” and “mmyeah”. I'm not sure if his parents were in the room but I aimed to fill in the gaps. I really wanted that shout out.

The time spent talking with Chris was monumentally less than the time with Barb. I spoke to him maybe fifteen minutes tops, and the majority of it was a struggle.

Eventually, he agreed to a shout out. The video was primarily aimed at Emily for missing their date (which I had zero idea about). Once done making excuses for blanking on the stood-up girl, he did the shout out and said the name wrong.

I phoned him back and informed him of the disappointment my friend and I shared. I asked him, point blank, “if you can't remember her name, how could you remember mine?"

Chris profusely apologized… and than went on for twenty minutes about Burnout Paradise. Compared to the other call, it was as if I were speaking with a completely other guy.

"Oh yeah! If things don't work out with [Emily] I would consider you for my new heartsweet."

Suddenly, I was pretty uncomfortable. I told him such was probably didn’t need to be considered as Emily really seemed to be his type. Despite this, Chris continued on. He said he wanted to move away from sexual stuff because his last girlfriend “really wore him out”. Apparently, his dick would hurt during the act and would stay sore afterwards.

Emily and the Pickle Man happened. I would later find out that Chris was extremely proud that he did not defecate in his pants when he first saw the Pickle Man. Chris’ only thoughts, at the time, were: "Am I pooing myself? I hope I don't poo myself."

Pickle Man left with Emily, then there were the hookers and after Clyde called him, Chris called me. For the rest of our relationship, Chris would be the primary initiator of our phone calls. Only after the completion of a long-term project, or a fuck up would I phone him.

During this call he wasn't so broken up about Emily as he was pissed about the Pickle Man. He was really pissed about Clyde making his mom upset, too. He said his Dad took care of the hookers, though he was brief on the details.

After Chris launched back into video games for a bit, he switched topics.

He told me that since Emily hadn’t worked out he’d like for me do him the honor of… I told him we could see how things went between the two of us. I wanted to take it slow because I really didn’t know him that well. Plus, My dad usually likes to check out guys first. Chris assured me that he too liked to take things slow- and that he could be my man.

He asked about my Sonichu character. I completely blanked. I had briefly mentioned the existence of such during our initial call to get onto his good side. I told him my character's name was Luckette. Chris was disgusted and thought this name sounded “too French”. He recommended something more American, like Daisy!

I had to rush to draw my character and I sent him that. I included some fan art along the way, too. The drawing of my Sonichu character got cropped in Gimp so it dropped the 'e' from the end of “Luckette”. Chris really hated this change. He added that I could improve on my handwriting, too. “You could write hearts over the 'I's".

From the get-go, he would never complement my drawings. He would always find something wrong with them. Like, "This character looks like she has three legs and very bruised eyes”.

He asked me about the drawing of myself. He wanted to know if “the drawing was true to real life”. I didn’t know what to say, so he added: "Is it accurate?". I agreed. He did a nervous laugh and said: "Woahhhh, I could get use to that”!

We then had a really deep discussion about what my character was. Instead of a sheep, Chris said she could be a Flaffy. I mentioned Mareeps and was quickly shut down. Chris than went on about a Sneasel named Reginald…

Chris returned to the subject of names. He insisted that he didn't approve of the French name, or the cropped out “e”. I gave in. I told him I was going to change it to a few other things but he wasn’t pleased with any of these suggestions, either. Finally, I came up with Layla next. I chose Layla because it sounded like a hooker's name- not because of Clapton (though I do like that song!). I thought Chris would moan but he was thrilled. She sounded beautiful!

"I bet my Reginald would find your Layla VERY sexy! I think Reginald would like to take Layla on a date. I think Reginald would like to Layla to McDonald's…”

Chris suddenly told me that he wanted the two to get busy in the McDonald's bathroom. “I bet that before the second part of their date, they could take a potty break and Reginald would leave the door open to be a flirt and they could exchange some kisses," Chris told me. Chris also made mention of them washing their hands together.

Just like Chris wasn’t won over by my names, I wasn’t exactly buying the idea of Layla hooking up with this Reginald. I told Chris that Layla would find Punchy more her type. She's into the Asian persuasion, y’know. Chris was caught off guard.

He could have sworn I knew that Punchy and Angelica was an item. I replied that not everyone ends up with their sweetheart. Chris didn't end up with YOUR high school sweetheart, did he? Nope. Well, nor did I- as I was presently single, after all. “that makes the two of us," Chris giggled. I said the two people could fall in love at any point in their life. He got excited and declared that meant Angelica could help Reginald feel better about himself.

Chris said "I love you”. Now, and whenever else he’d say this I would never say it back, I would say "I'm sure you do" or do something like [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM this].

That call was the 19th of March. That same day, he released the edit of the shout out video.

The next time he called me, it was the first time I brought up the 'Holding Out For a Hero' video. He said he'd consider it as. Despite just meeting me, I told him I already “felt a connection with him. I feel like you're my hero. I have this vision of you rescuing me from my school on a horse. I want you to make a video just like that." At this point he was all in.

He asked me if I would ever sing for him in return. He said how he sung with his mom and compared himself to Bing Crosby. He wanted me to sing him an “old song” "I want you to sing me an old song”. I found a video my friend had send me earlier [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7l2HNbGiLM this video] and sing-talked. He wanted me to record this but I told him I didn't have any equipment of that nature. Instead, I taught him the song and he followed along and sang over me. He didn't know the lyrics.

I informed Chris that I would really like it if he sang MY favorite song, too. He threw in some ideas, saying he wanted to make a comic for it. This was great! Although, I was hoping he'd animate it, I was still really impressed that he just had these ideas to begin with.

Sadly, we got into a little tiff because I wanted the Bonnie Tyler version of “Holding out for a Hero” because he already had the Frou frou version from the Shrek 2 soundtrack. He wanted to use that one instead of “spending more coke reward points on the same song”. I didn't like that version. The Bonnie Tyler version reminded me of my Dad. He backed off and agreed to look it up on youtube.

When we caught up again he was really annoyed. He couldn’t identify Bonnie’s gender and preferred the Frou Frou version as “we could slow dance to it”.

I told him again that I preferred Bonnie because of my Dad. Chris sighed and complied, saying he’d allow this sort of thing just this one time. I squealed! “Eeeeeeeeeeeee” just like Bionic in that one comic with hearts in my eyes and such. I asked if he could have it done the next day or so…

It took him about six days to deliver the video. He called before I watched and said he did it all with his PSeye. He wanted to know when I was going to get MY PSeye? (I had revealed that I had a ps3 previously in passing) and he released the video.

The video opened with him looking enthused and diddling about on his plastic guitar. I recall thinking he looked a bit like the guy that had did in John Lenon during those first few frames. Soon, however, it got really good. I never asked why he put the cards in the video, though.

My favorite part was when he started really rocking out and did the guitar solo over his head. Pure delight.

A few days down the line, I asked for a tour of his house. When I visited Chris, I wanted to feel like I was already at home. I wanted my first time walking in his house to be like “yeah, I belong here', and I desired to know where everything is. He preferred to just show me his bedroom. But… how did he get to his bedroom? He offered the garden but no dice. He chuckled and agreed.

Couple days later, I got a phone call pretty early in the morning from Chris. He was freaked out! The previous night a guy claiming to be Clyde (sounded nothing like him based on Chris' impression) left a voice mail saying that he wanted to KILL Chris! After calming him down, I told Chris that I highly doubted that the caller was anywhere near Chris. He was going to be okay. Chris told me that he ”was upset and... things had happened." During this call I would learn all about Chris’ bathroom troubles. He told me had gotten scared and shat himself.

In addition, his mom basically had a vendetta about doing his laundry these days, too, because of this habit of shitting himself when he was stressed or emotional. Whenever Chris would annihilate his pants to some degree he'd simply dump (teehee) his soiled garments in the laundry without taking care of them first. Each time Barb would do laundry, without fail, there’d be a very special surprise waiting for her. This sort of thing had happened since Chris was a kid but it got worse after school completed. His doctor suggested that Chris could change his diet or try exercising to help things. Chris told the doctor he wanted a pill. Since the issue wasn’t anything clinical, the Doctor told Chris that he could wear protective garments, especially since Chris couldn't feel the mess unless he moved around- long after the deed had been completed. "But that's for babies!" Chris clarified by screaming at me. The doctor corrected that they were liners; he never called them diapers. Neither did Chris- he called them “butt garments”.

Barb really wanted Chris to at least try the liners but he was determined. So, Barb stated that she would no longer do his laundry. Though, after that Liquid Clyde call, Barb offered to wash his sheets- the next day. He said he when he had woken up in the middle of the night it had been "a big one”. But, instead of racing off to tell his Mom, Chris climbed out of bed and decided to hide from Clyde by putting one big stuffed animal in the middle of the bed with a pair of sunglasses across it’s face.

Chris hid on the couch and covered himself in stuffed animals. He didn't want to sleep in his bed because of the mess he made, and because “that would be where Clyde would look for him”. If Clyde had infact broken into Chris bedroom that night it was easy to see how Chris potentially would have worked- although not in the way he intended.

After falling back asleep Chris had a "sticky dream." He said that it had about him and me in a pool, and that as he had been my hero, I could be his heroine too- his “God’s angel mermaid”. He stated that when he woke up there was yet another mess but "not a bad mess”. “Oh, you had a wet dream?"

Chris giggled and said: "No, that's when you pee yourself, silly!"

He added that it was the first pleasant dream he had had in some time… and repeatedly kept corrected me about "sticky dreams”.
After this dream, Chris returned to obsessing over Clyde. I asked Chris what he was going to do about Clyde and was informed that he intended to phone the police - eventually. I pointed out that Clyde was out of the local police's jurisdiction (federal wasn’t mentioned) as Clyde resided now in Australia, after all. Chris didn’t understand what jurisdiction meant, but recognized Australia was too far for Virginia’s boys in blue to visit by car.

I told Chris that he was being too passive. He needed to take charge and be a man. His first confrontation video ended up being kind of lackluster. Others followed and slowly Chris progressed up the ladder… only to get distracted once again.

The next video was one explaining bodily functions to my cousin, Flora (as Chris was an unrivaled expert on this topic). At first he was kind of uncomfortable making it, but I persuaded him that farts were completely natural (like his other ailments) and that he had nothing to worry about. Chris predictably warmed up to the topic and surprised us all by singing for the finale an acoustic ditty of his own.

He produced a steady stream of videos until Rocky made the scene. She appeared March 30th. After she showed up, he decided he didn't want anything to do with youtube. This was a major problem though. Youtube was the only way I could see by boyfriend’s God-given face. He eventually gave in and returned to youtube upon agreement that videos uploaded needn’t stay public. Once viewed and saved onto my ipod, they would each be deleted from his page.

I started to encourage him to stand up for himself, overall, and get that darn ED page taken down. Clyde and ED were all one and the same. Around this time, Chris and Rocky discovered legi0n. Chris was overwhelmed by the colors and sensations of the forum, but before he closed the window, he saw a photoshop of him “as an angel protecting cwcville”. He loved that picture so much.

Around the same point Vanessa Hudgens appeared. She got Chris really excited because she promised him fame and glory in movies. I had a bad feeling about her though. All of Vanessa’s video requests seemed to require Chris’ nudity. I wondered if she was trying to make Chris into a porn actor rather than the next Disney sweetheart? I didn't ask too many questions though, because I had to agree that Chris was a born star.

Chris didn't trust Joshua Martinez, whom had introduced the two. Every time he talked to Vanessa, he had to go through Josh. Chris thought that Josh was hogging her. At the same time, however, Chris was content to play by Josh’s rules.

I gave Chris the idea for his next domain name, cwcville.com. He was fairly hung up on purchasing sonichuandrosechuforever.com (or an alternative name of the same nature if his first choice was revealed to be already occupied). However, he was quickly swayed by cwcville.com as it was still proclaimed one of his many creations. We had the hopes that he'd make the new site into a big portal that would feature BRAND NEW, NEVER RELEASED, and ORIGINAL material. He registered the domain via godaddy instead of geocities. He selected "godaddy" as it made him think that it was a family friendly domain registrar or something (thus more trustworthy and accepting of his content).

After cwcville.com was established, Chris started on episode 19. While working on pages he made some fanart of Layla and Punchy swapping underwear. I had suggested Chris draw Punchy in women’s underwear sometime (to symbolically display an acceptance of Chris’ interests). When I saw the finished product, I noticed he had shoehorned Layla in there as well. “They both have to do it,” he insisted, “together forever”. Before coloring the final piece he decided to sketch out a one-off of Layla blowing Punch while in wearing boxers.

His plan for episode 19 involved their date at McDonalds. Chris kept talking about how they'd have sex in the bathroom. He also made a ham-fisted analogy between Punchy/Layla and him/myself. He said that our first date would be at McDonalds, too, and his desire to fuck me in the lavatory. Chris claimed that he normally didn’t approve of sex before marriage, but he was a modern man now who changed with the times. I asked him if Punchy would have the condom, but Chris was adamant that Punchy didn’t have pockets and was insulted when I referenced cartoon loopholes. He tried to suggest that Layla had the condom, but I wouldn't let him as Layla is not that kind of girl. Chris eventually decided that Layla could choose when and when not to birth.

After that pressing matter got resolved, he declared that they were "going to have some fun". Chris also wanted to include queefing. There was an episode of South Park that aired right before this, so it's obvious that's where he got the queefing idea. Though, he never did bring the show up (at least, in reference to queefing). Instead, he acted like he was suddenly concerned about women's problems. I thought this was weird, but backed up his argument by referencing his incontinence problems. He said that because I accepted his perpetual mud butt, it should be OK for him to be supportive of queefers and include it within the upcoming comic.

I thought that was a great idea! And since I knew about the episode of South Park, I suggested he get glitter and put it in the comic, too. He ended up getting stickers instead. And sadly, in the final cut, he ended up coloring over the queef entirely. I was very disappointed.

While Layla and Punchy were on their date, Layla got a greek salad with ranch dressing, pickles on the side, and a diet coke. She was watching her figure, after all, implored Chris. Punchy offered her some free fries as they sat across from one another at the day-glo dinner table. Hailing back to her petting zoo roots, Layla ate them from his hand, careful not to nip any wayward digits.

This instance, along with the fact that Punchy had tolerated her gassy vagina, really wowed Layla. She was so impressed that when they went for their "potty break", she ended up fucking the echidna-hitmon-chu.

Chris went into detail about how this unfurled: He said that Punchy had gone to the men’s room and had left the door ajar while he used the facilities. After simultaneously “relieving himself and flirting with Layla” he decided to visit her in the women’s bathroom. They selected the handicapped stall in which to have sex because of the extra elbowroom. After their bathroom escapades, they head to Layla's house to eat again (possibly dessert? Chris intended no innuendos).

Meanwhile, Reginald is a jealous little spunk. Originally, Chris had really dramatic ideas planned for Reginald. The blue Sneazelchu was going to slash Punchy's tires. He also was supposed to walk in on Punchy and Layla having sex in the McDonald’s bathroom.

I'm fairly certain that all of this hilarious material was axed from the comic because Chris had been showing Rocky his crafts and basically censored himself in the process. To me, however, he simply said he wanted to keep things "TV-Y7".

While Chris was working on all this, he had a new dream. After a few rage videos against Clyde, the unpleasant troll dreams had ceased. His latest bizarre dream involved the show “Hey Arnold”. He asked me if I remembered Hey Arnold and when I answered yes, he shrieked: "THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S A FOOTBALL HEAD!” After I picked the phone back up off the floor he apologized and assured me that had been his "Helga Pataki coming out".

Next, he performed several impressions of the Hey Arnold characters that all sounded eerily similar to one another... In particular, he was especially proud of his Phoebe because she sounded like Angelica Rosechu. Phoebe wanted to stick around for quite awhile but eventually Chris let me in on his dream.

It started off with him skiing on a mountain with Arnold. They went off a steep jump and flew/floated through space. When they returned to Earth, they landed in the ocean atop a pair of identical surfboards. Chris high fives Arnold and sees everyone on the beach cheering for them.

He then began rambling on about his many cats and Patti (in Heaven, she prefers to hang around with former First Kitty, Sox). He asked me if I had pets and I told him that I had two hermit crabs, Crass and Champ. I told Chris that they were married and he suddenly became very interested in the vivacious pair. Always open-minded, he didn't even ask their genders. I don’t think Chris ever did find out that they were both males…

It was after I mentioned Crass and Champ that he started talking about visiting the crustaceans and I in real life. He asked me what I would think if I woke up one day and rolled over to find him lying next to me, formerly spooning? Chris would be smiling fondly at me, and would I return this? Or perhaps begin squealing with delight? I asked how he'd manage to get into my dorm room in the first place. He said he'd arrange something with my roommate as she “was clearly supportive of our union”. Despite being fairly certain my roommate wasn’t a shipper fangirl, I made sure to point out to Chris that he most likely wouldn't even have been able to get into the building.

He changed game plan. He said he'd just show up at my Starbucks job. He would be excited to see "his sweetie serving treaties". He was also really stoked about getting free drinks while there, and wanted to know if he could get free food, too. I had an inkling that McDonalds would be but a distant memory after he had the ability to save those burger dollars and fill up on toffee bars.

He than announced that he intended to stroll up to the counter and order.

“I’ll have a caramel macchiato, caramel on the side. I’ll have it on my lover, later on.”
Chris decided to upload a video greeting the crabs and I. This was the “notoriously creepy” video that ended up on the radio stations. I will always hold dear how much he loved my crabs… and how eager he was to take them for “walkies”.

The next video I requested was for him to get all dolled up for a date with me. I wanted him to mime what our magical first date would be like. Somewhere along the way McDonalds was forgotten. Had Chris and I grown too close for him to uphold this sacred courtship step? I’m thinking the comic took care of such necessary details (and saved him a few bucks in the process). So, instead of elaborating about me rolling over for fries he decided to bring a special guest on the show: a sex doll with my drawn face on it.

After seeing those videos, I asked Chris how church went. We ended up getting onto the topic of Easter. Chris started rambling about Easter hunts and how he was upset that he no longer received presents or chocolate anymore. With a stiff upper lip, he accepted that he didn’t get these things, however, because he is “now man, not a little boy”.

I asked him to relive his favorite childhood Easter memories in a video. I also requested he wear his "Easter best". His interpretation of this request was the bunny hop video. Crayola red graced his nose but, sadly, he decided to use permanent markers for his bunny whiskers. He whined about how hard it was to get off and how he was “stuck blushing”.

At this time, Chris loved having a schedule and regular work. I gave him an assignment of three comic pages a day. On the weekend he was to color the completed pages. After the bunny hop video, he had to be persuaded to upload the pages on time because he was tired from scrubbing the permanent marker off of his face.

A couple days later I discovered, through the grapevine, that Chris had been cheating on me with Vanessa. I insisted that I wasn't angry with Vanessa but I was angry with him, although Chris kept pleading with me not to blame Vanessa. I decided to punish him by requesting a video of him spanking himself. Although my intention wasn't that he be naked, Chris decided to kill two birds with one stone and film the spanking video immediately after the shower video he made for Vanessa. I had repeatedly asked for Chris to upload the video, per usual, to youtube and he point-blank refused. After viewing the video, needless to say I knew why.

Some troll sent Chris a package of “butt garments” in the mail. Barb thought that they were samples from their doctor, so she kept them, just in case. Chris was angry that she was keeping the diapers and tried to steal them from her multiple times, but he failed. Barb squirreled them away in her room.

My roommate was also really offended that Chris cheated on me and insisted that a mere spanking wasn't an acceptable punishment. She suggested he wear the diapers and label his crotch as "unfit for collection". During the photo shoot Chris decided to lick his medallion and throw a wink our way, as he wanted to “still look good for me”.

Afterwards, he had to sneak the remaining diapers back into his mother's room. Given this atonement, Chris’ mood returned to normal. He began discussing his plans for meeting up with me again and blamed his unfulfilled libido on his temptation to cheat. He had never mentioned this resurgence of “needs”. Just like with the Easter discussion, and many discussions before, Chris reminded me that he was “a man”. He made to sure to add that Julie had been “forever ago by now”, too.
Chris blamed me for why he cheated on Vanessa, and stressed it wasn't Vanessa's fault. He said he felt neglected because his needs weren't being met.

"You said Julie wore you out," I told him.

"But that was forever ago!!" Chris protested.

I asked him why he was telling me all this now but had never gave me a prior explanation. I followed this up by asking what kinds of needs he had. The response wasn’t entirely pleasant. Some of the conversations were as such:

He fantasized about us being married together. I told him I was going to for my PhD in Art History and wanted to take my time [when it came to marriage]. He said he'd do art as well when we were married, but as a “writer/artist”. I’d come home from a long day of work… then Chris have to go to work. I’d cook. Chris wanted know if I would mind if, he was really stressed out, if he could go to the strip club on the way home? I was taken aback. He was supposed to be telling me about how he had needs. Were these it? He continued by elaborating that if he was especially stressed, this would allow me to continue cooking without his stress interrupting the process.

So, I asked him what we’d do if I had sexual needs?

“I’m sorry, what?” was the reply.

I re-iterated that women have sexual needs, too. He understood. I continued: “therefore, if I'm stressed out, do I get to go to the strip club?"

Chris was very confused. He told me that there were women already there. I offered a male strip club. Chris told me he didn’t think we had those in Virginia. I asked Chris what if we had a threesome and he said he'd be okay with such. I added that wanted a second man to join us. I received another “what” before he proclaimed that he no longer wished to discuss such topics.

Chris next asked me about my art phd. I told him about how I wanted to be a museum curator. I asked about his college degree and he said he would use it to draw his comic. I didn’t understand how this work, given the nature of his degree. I concluded that this would mean I was the breadwinner. Chris chimed in that "yeah, we're modern like that”.

I asked what would happen when we procreated. He said that when had Crystal, I’d have to take a time out from working. Without hesitation, I asked what if I didn't like the name Crystal? After some disgruntled sighs, I started on about how Crystal was a stripper name. He got upset. Chris always knew his Daughter was supposed to be named Crystal- God told him so! I asked him what if God told me that MY daughter's name wasn’t crystal, and he got mad. I flat out told him that if I'm the bread winner and was going to carry the kid and go through labor that I should at least have say in the naming process. Besides, he’d have his stripper friends named Crystal, having a baby named such too would be overkill. He kinda broke down about it and he said we’d discuss such things when the time actually came.

Chris was, once again, suddenly turned on. We got back on the subject of what we would do if we met and how I'd be coming down to Ruckersville when I graduated. He was getting fairly frisky and wanted to get all intimate. Chris wanted to know how I’d go down on him. He told me that if he ate something before the deed how I too would taste it. I remember asking him about Country Cookin’ around this point to move the topic along. Since he goes there a lot, after all. Chris said eats spinach and dessert first, then eat chicken. From Chicken we returned to… I indulged him. I asked him what would he eat beforehand? He said he'd eat these things immediately, and they’d be strawberries.

I asked him if it’d taste like "strawberry milk”? "No, just strawberries". The subject of recycling his semen was visisted. I asked him to enjoy some strawberries on video and then try to see if his afterbirth tasted like strawberries, too. He said he didn't have strawberries in his house because they’d just spoil in the Chandler’s fridge. I asked him if he had chocolate and he said "yeah, some chocolate syrup for chocolate milk!”. So, I told him to try that instead. Though, he said he'd “do it all together on camera”...

I'd try to keep the calls short because otherwise he'd talk for two hours. 15 minutes was always the ideal length for me. I called him back when he said the video would be done. Chris said he didn't have any chocolate syrup so he opted instead for orange Fanta. Chris downed it.

On the 16th, after Chris had shown me the video privately, Clyde hacked Chris's website and leaked multiple videos. The spanking video, and Chris dancing about in the shower with an imaginary me. When I saw that video I asked him about it. He said it was for Vanessa. Chris was ready to take on nude roles. As mentioned, I asked for the spanking video but I didn't ask for it to be in nude. Now I knew why it had been. I purposely did not want any nudes of Chris.

Chris thought Clyde "interrupted the stream" as opposed to hacking his website with his password or something like that. So, he never changed a thing with godaddy.

The next day, Chris spoke with Vanessa again and reported to me about how he was behaving even though she was up on her ways. He never thought twice about telling me about how much Vanessa wanted him. I cried about how I felt he was still cheating on me and he made the video kissing the blow up doll. Unsatisfied, I wanted a video where he swore on the bible that he wouldn't cheat on me again but instead he simply quoted verses. Though I appreciated the effort, it still wasn’t enough. I asked him if he remembered all the old videos he rid of? Like that one video where shot Adam Stackhouse? He did. I asked if he would upload it since it made him look like a badass and might scare off Clyde. He said it’d be like he was defending me! Indeed, two birds – one stone.

I later re-discovered how much I had enjoyed Christian and the Hedgehog boys when it first hit the e-waves. I asked Chris to make an album another album. Chris wanted to include his girlfriend- and the crabs. I gave him song ideas and he went to town with them. Some of them were long, though, and he kinda got bored. That’s why the songs in toward the end were not as creative as the first few. Like "Paradise by the Seashore Light”.

When the album was released and I shared it with all my friends. Just like everything else, Clyde got ahold of it. I remember asking why Layla was included on the cover. Chris said she wanted to join and was the stage manager. She was peaking out from behind the curtains- not being a dismembered floating head.

Even after all the tears, Chris began letting slip about his planned meetings with Vanessa around town. They decided to meetup at long last. Josh got Chris to go to the JMU campus with a sign and every time Chris would think he saw her, she would disappear. Chris stressed how didn't want to use that sign so he decided on wearing a hat, too. I thought Vanessa and I could be friends but josh had other intentions. He wanted to exploit Chris for money and would do this by going through Vanessa.

Josh claimed to have very strong ties to the FBI and threatened to hack into Chris’ ps3. Josh wanted to monitor Chris 24/7 as punishment for not meeting up with Vanessa not giving her the "presents” she had requested. I was upset to learn about the times Chris had gone out with Joshua to TGI Fridays. During one date, Chris didn't have enough money for food because he spent his week’s allowance on the previous time they went out. Josh just ordered a meal for himself and ate it in front of him while Chris watched. Chris just got a slushie drink and asked for refills. The waitress did not like this.
Later on, Chris discovered that he was being mocked by Clyde again. I suggested Chris perform a string of videos to prove to Clyde, once and for all, that Chris meant business. This included baring his fangs at the camera and giving the PSeye a good smack ‘round. Sadly, nothing worked with Clyde…

At TGI Fridays, Josh got Chris to pay for his meals. He kept telling Chris that they would go meet Vanessa. Every time Vanessa failed to show and Josh would enjoy the meal on Chris' dime, obviously.

Once, the proposed meeting place was at JMU. Chris went there with a sign looking for Vanessa, but only found campus police. While there, Chris donned a hat and tried to keep a low profile.

I discovered that Chris was driving all over the place looking for Vanessa, and at JMU in particular, I began to doubt Chris' loyalty. Chris recommended a simple video reiterating his promises to me, but I insisted that, this time, such was not good enough. I suggested a full-blown marriage ‘what if?’ comic/video and he proposed. My Daddy, whom always reminded me of Coach McGuirk, made his first appearance in the comic.

Chris really loved the Coach McGuirk idea. He spoke with my father on the phone and wowed him with stories about him being in the cub scouts. Daddy, meanwhile, quizzed Chris. What was his home life like? What was his game plan for the future? Chris, proudly, informed Daddy that his job was “writing Sonichu updates”. Daddy asked: “what the fag is that, son?”. Chris changed the topic…

All of my friends made an appearance in the wedding comic. I also suggested the November Rain wedding dress as, since I was already at the big top, I might as well dress for the occasion, too. Chris decided that he would have to wear his clown shirt in the comic- not because of the ceremony’s theme, but because no one would recognize him if he was wearing a normal suit alone. No, the medallion was not enough.

It was in this comic that he finally put to use stickers originally intended for Layla's feminist queef. They were made the petals for flower girl, Ching Chong, to scatter. Celion Dion was chosen as the background music because… well, Meatloaf had a hangover and I don’t think Chris would have been comfortable with Elton John, even if the man had previously played at Crass and Champ’s ceremony (therefore insuring us a recommendation discount!).

Clyde showed up again, dropping more Vanessa info and videos. It was after that that Chris attempted to meet up with Vanessa once more. A wild goose chase ensued. Every time Chris showed up at a prospective meeting place, he received a call stating that Miss. Vanessa was at another joint. On that one night, Chris drove around the Charlottesville area, looking for Vanessa from 6 pm to 2 am.

The following day was a particularly dense call time for Chris and I. All in all, I received more than 30 calls in a single 24 hour period from Chris (I had decided to ignore him for that one day). When I finally did pick up, Chris wasn’t happy but nor was I. He had worried me by not phoning the day of the Vanessa excursion. So, to make up for it, Chris drew us the honeymoon comic.

I asked why he had included six glade plug-ins with our suite. Chris claimed that a single one wasn’t strong enough for his small bedroom so a suite would require much, much more. Things were about to get dirt-ay, after all! Plus, there was that whole thing with Chris defecating whenever he experienced a sincere, triggering, emotion…

While drawing the honeymoon comic, Chris wanted to draw his penis life sized. I called him to find out what was holding things up and Chris revealed that he had taken a break to cuddle with Mommy. After considering the situation, Chris decided to hand off the phone to Barb. Barb was, surprisingly, very friendly. She had been such during my initial quizzing, but now her guard was completely brought down. Chris was, however, impatient because Barb had interrupted him while he was drawing his dick. His dick was bent in the comic because I didn't want him whitewashing history and pretending his dick had no curve to it. As previously implied, the theme of our relationship had always been one of acceptance (and feces).

Chris claimed the speed lines across our bodies were due to the “camera zooming in on the goodies”. After Barb finally left the room, Chris settled on just tracing his dick. The tracing was his idea to simplify the process of drawing his dick accurately (and so he wouldn’t have to look at it for too long). He attempted to trace his “small sack” with it’s “lots of cum” but eventually gave up and winged it.

Chris asked if my comic self had any powers so I made up a sort of fursona analogue to Chris-Chan Sonichu. One surprise in the comic was the re-appearance of my father, giving permission for Chris to deflower me. I appreciated Chris asking Daddy… before asking me. Chris gave his "scout's honor" to take care of me.

After that dastardly Clyde intercepted the honeymoon comic it went public. In addition, all these debauched accounts of sex and freewheeling fecal matter reached poor, innocent Ching Chong's ears. She had become confused and terrified of my poor, insane, boyfriend. I suggested that Chris make a video explaining his behavior and why it’s natural. Honestly, I primarily requested an explanation of the leaked spanking video, but Chris offered a bonus discussion about his poopoo problemos and navy consumption. This video, in particular, became very notorious across the internet (and airewaves) on such sites as hiphop superstars and more.

To cover his ass to Rocky, he made a follow-up video disavowing responsibility, and blaming me for mention (and revelation) of his worse moments to the world.

During all of these events, Chris began to have sleeping problems. He complained that he couldn’t turn off his brain when falling asleep, and that he couldn’t wake his brain when getting up in the morning.

I decided to stick to Chris’ canon of me. I suggested he share these problems with the world! Since he was slipping on his comic schedule, anyways, I added he make more videos and other content to put out. Quizzes, quizzes, and more quizzes was Chris’ response. Although, during this time he made a wikipedia page, too.

At one point, Chris told me that he detested the word "sammies" (diminutive for sandwich). He hated the word because when he took up fucking his bed pillow, he always folds it around his dick like a sandwich. The word "sammy" reminded him of this practice and it embarrassed him. Mayo was not mentioned at any point…

Discussion of the Autism papers was brought up during our relationship, too. It is no secret that Chris likes to use his handicap as a crutch. I would often tell Chris that he wasn’t handicapped. but instead that he was handicapable. He had a car, right? And Charlottesville was his playpen to embrace and explore forever more. However, Chris insisted that his Autism was a burden. I requested to learn more about his diagnosis. If we were to have children, would our offspring be at risk for the disease? Chris did not like this term. Though, he was willing to look into the matter— of the sake of little Roberta Latrine (formerly Crystal Weston). It was quickly discovered that the papers were locked up in a hutch with the key’s constantly on Bob’s person. The subject was not touched upon again.

Eventually, he had one more chat with Officer Keino. It was revealed during this time that Chris had gone to the police because of Josh - and with Rocky. As previously stated, Chris kept mentioning going to the police, but I didn't think he’d actually do so as that would entail explaining things to his parents. Also, Bob and Barb have always been extremely afraid of the authorities. For years, Bob has burnt all troll mail they receive in a barrel in the backyard (troll gifts, however, were consumed by the family or put to use).

Bob hid the vast majority of troll material from Barb.

The breaking point for Bob and Barb had been Josh. He had sold Chris a PSP with a non-existent feature for a higher price than a normal PSP. Chris made no secret of intention of giving his old PSP to Vanessa.

While Josh was scamming Chris, Chris scammed Josh back by giving him a bad check. Bob and Barb end up agreeing to go to the police with Rocky to catch Josh and ONLY Josh. They agree ONLY to discuss matters regarding Josh as they were handling "Clyde and the trolls on their own terms".

Taking advantage of the situation, Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb at the station by monopolizing and domineering the police’s help. She pushed for the authorities to investigate all the trolls- and Ivy, as well. Despite his parents protests, Rocky went against their wishes and ignored their harbored anxiety.

Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. While Bob/Barb and Josh continued their feud over a PSP, I broke up with Chris over his betrayal. Chris, however, didn’t stop calling. After two days, Daddy and I had to have Bob tell Chris to leave our family alone.

During this call, Bob told me that he and Barb were planning on going up with Chris to visit me at Boston University! Initially, Chris intended to visit alone but was concerned about visiting as my University's website featured an ethnically diverse student body. Bob and Barb decided to join and had begun saving up for the entire family's vacation.

The trip was called off because Barb discovered Chris was stealing from her purse. He had been sneaking small changed for awhile (in addition to using their credit cards on PSN), but recently it had become larger and larger amounts. I had known about the cards on PSN but Chris had told me such things “was in the past”. He did, however, stress that his parents were unaware of his five-finger-discounts. Chris’ pocket-book thievery was revealed at the police station to everyone.

Sadly, the events during this time period really got to Barb and Bob mentioned that she threatened to kill herself.

Bob continued the conversation and informed me that he would handle Josh. Bob didn’t trust the police to help because Chris was also a guilty party, and had previous run-ins (six to seven incidents, he stated). So, Bob intended to save the matter for small claims court. As for the trolls, Bob was convinced that Megan (“that CRUEL, GERMAN, girl” he dubbed her) was behind the evil doings. He revealed that the Chandlers had started getting harassed back in 1999 by a man named Jamie Dunn (who also tried to land Bob in the slammer). Furthermore, Bob stated that there were people in the world penning thesis’ about Chris for their degrees.

Bob no longer trusted Rocky. Bob said he'd tell Chris to stop calling me and at the same time, he requested that he use my father's clout to help catch Josh.

Although Bob was rather pushy he did back off soon after- with a heavy heart, and respectfully so. He made one final plea that I re-consider. Chris and his family required “all the help they could get”. Bob said I could trust him, that he was “as clean as they get”. Unlike Rocky, Bob never thought I was a troll. Bob and Barb had always polite to me, kind even. It was a tragedy that things had to end the way things did- that Chris still had no concept of the word “no”.

Bob asked if I wanted to speak with Chris. Bob wanted us to keep talking. At the very least, if I decided to stick to my guns, he asked if I’d say goodbye to his son. I had to decline- to go back now and hear his voice again would have been too painful…

And than I killed myself.

Chris's birthday

2010-10-17T02:08:36Z

Mp83: /* Other people born on 24 February include... */ adding Beatles video reference to George Harrison

[[Image:0606-CWC21-2.jpg|thumb|Chris blows]]

[[Chris]]'s '''birthday,''' 24 February, is a significant date in his life, for obvious reasons. However, the bizarre inconsistency of how he celebrates (from some new [[vidya]], to [[Examples of Chris's Ego#Christian Love Day|wanting his birthday to be a national holiday]]) warrants some inspection.

==Notable birthdays==

[[Image:0481-CWC18th12.jpg|thumb|Chris's best birthday EVER!]]

===18th===

While [[Trolls|most people]] would've celebrated by partying hard, doing [[Sex|something special]], or just acknowledging that they have grown into legal adults, Chris got a Sega Dreamcast. While he did have something of a party, it was very much the kind thrown for small children— comprised of thrown-together decor, last-minute gifts, and some [[Friend Zone|platonic]] [[gal-pals]] as guests. No [[alcohol]], no [[tobacky]], just ''Kenan & Kel'' and cake. Interestingly, this was allegedly Chris's best birthday ever. The great importance of this event apparently warranted recording as a story, "[[My big 18th party]]".

===21st===

[[Image:0603-CWC21Note.jpg|thumb|And now the worst...]]

If the above birthday was Chris's best, then this is probably his worst. No friends, no new [[video games]], and no [[sweetheart]]. The only thing Chris got was kicked out of his [[PVCC|college]] [[English]] class by his professor. Chris first alleged his professor just didn't understand [[autism]], but later confided in [[Sarah]] that he was dismissed for hating on da [[homos]]. All wasn't lost, however, as this event was the catalyst that began the [[Love Quest]]— Chris's enduring search for someone that will [[Barbara_Chandler|put up with his crying and pamper him for eternity]]
===27th===

Not much is known of Chris's 27th birthday, other than that it coincided with the burial of his late [[Aunt Corina]]. Undoubtedly, this cast a shadow on the festivities. In true Chris fashion, he bitched and complained about not being able to [[Obesity|stuff his greedy gullet full of pancakes]], instead of [[Chris_and_death|mourning]] the loss of his aunt. He would later go on to complain in a [[Mumble 9|mumble chat]] about how Aunt Corina ruined his special day by selfishly dying.

===28th===

{{quote|Today we celebrate our CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!"|Chris, on being nearly 30}}

Chris's 28th birthday is shrouded in mystery. Other than his [[ego|obsessive desire]] to see his birthday made a holiday, next to nothing is known about how it was spent. What we do know is that he ingested a [[Semen|mysterious substance]] and was [[Magical Man Potion|visited]] by another [[Jerk|male]] guest. [[Alec Benson Leary]] also called in and congratulated him, all around nice guy that he is.

*'''Sonichu canon:''' Coincidentally (or not), the homo vaccine in ''[[Sonichu 10]]'' is distributed into the global water supply on this day.

=="Christian Love Day"==

[[File:Christian Love Day Declaration.jpg|thumb|The Christian Love Day Declaration (which is totally True and Honest, and not a [[things Chris has ripped off|rip-off]] at all)]]

Many people see their birthday as a day of personal relevance. Chris, on the other hand, thinks everyone across the globe should be [[Ego|focused on him too]]. First seen in the [[CWC Blog]], "Christian Love Day" is apparently a second Valentine's Day, but celebrated exclusively by [[Homo|STRAIGHT]] folk. In the [[Mailbag]], he clarified he 'feels like' it should be a nationally recognized holiday, merely because [[Reality|he wills it]] and it's also Mexican Flag Day. However, Chris provides no details on how to celebrate, nor does he put any effort into garnering publicity beyond one [[Christian Love Day|lone video.]]

In ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'', the holiday gains slightly more credence, along with some disturbing moral stipulations. It is on this day that the homo vaccine "cures" the homosexual population of the Earth, driving the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]] up to critical levels. It seems to be that this fictional event is the real reason Chris wants to commemorate his birthday as a holiday (well, that and [[ego]]). Chris either thinks his comic is so widely known that the date of its denouement would be nationally recognized, or he [[Reality|has a skewed perception of the lines between fiction and reality]].

====24 February is also...====

*Armenia's Genocide Remembrance Day.
*The day [[Wikipedia:Battle of Los Angeles|U.S. forces fought a UFO over Los Angeles]] (1942).
*The day the Nazi party was founded (1920).
*The day Egyptian Premier Ahmed Maher Pasha was killed in Parliament after reading a decree (1945).
*The day Ayatollah Khomeini issued a ''fatwa'' for the death of Salman Rushdie (1989).

====Other people born on 24 February include...====

*[[100_2269|George Harrison]] (1943)
*Steve Jobs (1955)
*Chad Hugo (1974)
*[[Niggo|Floyd Mayweather, Jr.]] (1977)

{{stub}}

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Talk:ModNation Racers

2010-07-14T00:24:11Z

Mp83: /* He has his Beta Track Up */

So what information do we have so far on this shit? We know he's asking for bonus material, and we know he's posting on GameFaqs about it. Anything else?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:08, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

He put like 8-16 screencaps of his Sonichu kart and devoted an entire CWCipedia update to this. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:53, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:Before or after the Archive Cogs made, because if after, then good luck finding it now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:06, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
::Here: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Original_CCWC_Art - he considers this "original art". Basically he has a yellow car with his initials on him and has made a racer with a slight resemblance to him. This is from the beta, so who knows what kind of crap he's made since the game has been released. I'm going to put one screencap in the article and leave it at that. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:10, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Dear God... ==

I had a feeling that Chris would get his hands on ModNation Racers. God knows what crap he'll put up on the Internet...--SpaceScreaminJohn 14:59, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

== He has his Beta Track Up ==

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I think "manbaby" is more appropriate than "manchild", given that he soils himself so much. But anyway, thanks for keeping us updated on his movements and activities. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 22:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures and they were in this haunted mansion/abandoned hospital place, and there was a ghost there that they called the 'manbaby', and I kept thinking 'lolchris' [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 23:02, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't have a copy of ModNation or a PS3, so is there any way you could make a video of the new tracks and provide some commentary? That would be great! --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:10, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I agree with Anaconda here. I would love to download his track for laughs of using defaulted Beta Tools, but I do not have the game. If you would upload a video of them, Jinkies, I sure it would contribute Greatly to the LULZ. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:13, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:::We should probably handle this like we handle the LBP levels, get some screenshots and summaries up on the page. Jenkins, you're the only one that's played them so far, would you mind adding the level names and a brief description of each to the page?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

:I wouldn't call anything the manbaby did "good" or "neatly recreated", since he has never had an original thought in his tiny retarded brain. Except the attraction sign, and we all know how that turned out. That, and it probably is a piece of crap like his other stuff. I would like to see it, too. I second the video idea. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:ModNation Racers

2010-07-14T00:23:58Z

Mp83: /* He has his Beta Track Up */

So what information do we have so far on this shit? We know he's asking for bonus material, and we know he's posting on GameFaqs about it. Anything else?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:08, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

He put like 8-16 screencaps of his Sonichu kart and devoted an entire CWCipedia update to this. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 02:53, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
:Before or after the Archive Cogs made, because if after, then good luck finding it now.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 03:06, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
::Here: http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Original_CCWC_Art - he considers this "original art". Basically he has a yellow car with his initials on him and has made a racer with a slight resemblance to him. This is from the beta, so who knows what kind of crap he's made since the game has been released. I'm going to put one screencap in the article and leave it at that. --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 03:10, 28 May 2010 (UTC)

== Dear God... ==

I had a feeling that Chris would get his hands on ModNation Racers. God knows what crap he'll put up on the Internet...--SpaceScreaminJohn 14:59, 3 June 2010 (UTC)

== He has his Beta Track Up ==

As well as some actually neatly recreated Hot Wheels vehicles. He locked a couple of them; the manchild must have Favorited those TWO cars from his collection. LOL His track is lengthy, and confusing, but I managed to run some laps on it. And he added a good version of the Park with a fountain, and a Beach.

Download his Beta Cwcville Track for the laughs of using the defaulted Beta Tools.--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 22:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I think "manbaby" is more appropriate than "manchild", given that he soils himself so much. But anyway, thanks for keeping us updated on his movements and activities. --[[User:TubularMonkey|TubularMonkey]] 22:59, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I was watching an episode of Ghost Adventures and they were in this haunted mansion/abandoned hospital place, and there was a ghost there that they called the 'manbaby', and I kept thinking 'lolchris' [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 23:02, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

:I don't have a copy of ModNation or a PS3, so is there any way you could make a video of the new tracks and provide some commentary? That would be great! --[[User:Anaconda|Anaconda]] 23:10, 13 July 2010 (UTC)

::I agree with Anaconda here. I would love to download his track for laughs of using defaulted Beta Tools, but I do not have the game. If you would upload a video of them, Jinkies, I sure it would contribute Greatly to the LULZ. --[[User:T K 19|T K 19]] 00:13, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
:::We should probably handle this like we handle the LBP levels, get some screenshots and summaries up on the page. Jenkins, you're the only one that's played them so far, would you mind adding the level names and a brief description of each to the page?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 00:21, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

:I wouldn't call anything the manbaby did "good" or "neatly recreated", since he has never had an original thought in his tiny brain. Except the attraction sign, and we all know how that turned out. That, and it probably is a piece of crap like his other stuff. I would like to see it, too. I second the video idea. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:23, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:JenkinsJinkies

2010-07-12T02:35:47Z

Mp83: /* reward */ forgot to sign

Hey dude. What part of Boston do you live in? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:03, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

أهلا صديقي --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:19, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

I can tell, you're going to fit in great here. Welcome! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:35, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Wow, dude, you are a gangsta for keeping an eye on Chrissy. You are an awesome dude, keep on contributing! [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 03:43, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Belated welcome to CWCki, man. I've noticed that your userpage looks a bit bare. Why don't you tell us a little more about yourself? You can also use some userboxes to indicate your race, religion, orientation, favourite console, etc. Just don't do something stupid, like drop your dox.
--[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 21:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Category:Userboxes Here's a link] for all the different userboxes we have. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 23:22, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== reward ==
hey man, I'd like your name and address so I can send you a reward. china or pickles? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:23, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Also, could you help us with the new [[Amanda]] article? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:27, 4 July 2010
(UTC)

Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

implying chris would actually travel somewhere. if you think chris is a threat, well, you're a pussy lol. haven't you seen his push ups or his running video or his cwcfighting thing? jesus christ he's as weak as paper. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:35, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I agree with Clyde. Why are you afraid of an autistic blob of fat? Chris is so weak and unmanly, it's no wonder no girl wants to have sex with him. --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 00:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I also agree with Clyde. Aside from his poor [[Chris and Health|health]] and his [[obesity]], Chris proved last September that he was too weak to even break a thin, tiny wooden stake(and even if he did that wouldn't be very impressive). Heck, Chris had trouble with [[Chris Loses It|''cardboard'']] and [[CWC Fighter]] was just laughably bad--Chris has zero coordination. The only wood Chris ever managed to break was his own [[Duck|dick]]. It's not intimidating in the slightest. Chris should just stick to yelling at people.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:25, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:I dunno, Chris is the kind of person that everyone would underestimate. For good reason, of course! The guy can't even do a single proper push-up. But his spastic flailing could land a lucky shot. Normally, that could be akin to being slapped by your 90 year old grandmother, but with that pen knife of his he could do some damage. In the sense you'd get a nasty infection from all the germs that thing must be crawling with from being in his possession. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:37, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::That's assuming you can't either escape/disarm him in the five seconds it takes him to open the thing. Which wouldn't be hard for anyone above the age of ten.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't you be too distracted laughing? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Nah, I'd disarm him and ''then'' laugh. We're not comic book villains, after all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:01, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
**وقال "لا يفعل شيئا فهو ضعيف جدا--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:15, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
***علينا أن نعمل على موقعنا العربية, brother. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:17, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*I also agree with Clyde. You would have to be a total weakling to be afraid of Chris. His pushup video was laughable, and barely being able to curl a 10 lb 12 pack of soda with crappy form should remove any doubt about his weakness. -[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 02:35, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:12, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

User talk:JenkinsJinkies

2010-07-12T02:35:23Z

Mp83: /* reward */

Hey dude. What part of Boston do you live in? [[User:Baxter|Baxter]] 23:03, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

أهلا صديقي --[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:19, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

I can tell, you're going to fit in great here. Welcome! --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 18:35, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Wow, dude, you are a gangsta for keeping an eye on Chrissy. You are an awesome dude, keep on contributing! [[User:Elephant|Elephant]] 03:43, 5 July 2010 (UTC)

Belated welcome to CWCki, man. I've noticed that your userpage looks a bit bare. Why don't you tell us a little more about yourself? You can also use some userboxes to indicate your race, religion, orientation, favourite console, etc. Just don't do something stupid, like drop your dox.
--[[User:MaxTehManyula|MaxTehManyula]] 21:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Category:Userboxes Here's a link] for all the different userboxes we have. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 23:22, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

== reward ==
hey man, I'd like your name and address so I can send you a reward. china or pickles? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:23, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Also, could you help us with the new [[Amanda]] article? [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:27, 4 July 2010
(UTC)

Thanks, man, but I'm good; I lost my young virginity with a Seinor Cheerleader; her china was sweeeeettt! Plus, as an Anon, I prefer to keep my add off of the web. I would not want Chris coming after my ass. The mindfuck that he is, I would not want to fall victim of one of his impulsive manchild rampages. I just enjoy getting the LULZ off of him.

That's all the info I got of [[Amanda]]; my family and I don't travel to South VA that often, but I'll see if I can hitch another trip and find a place to crash in VA. I wouldn't be missed; I am soo overlooked in my family.

Something else that has piqued my curiousity, from the [[Hooker incident]], I'm wondering from which luscious company or group [[Bryan Bash]] the ladies came from, specifically the company name, their website, and from within Chris's crappy (434) A.C. Because if they were out-of-his-state, I may give them a call myself. >:D

Thank you for your support, [[User:Clydec|Clydec]]; you're awesome.

--[[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] 18:43, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

implying chris would actually travel somewhere. if you think chris is a threat, well, you're a pussy lol. haven't you seen his push ups or his running video or his cwcfighting thing? jesus christ he's as weak as paper. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 00:35, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I agree with Clyde. Why are you afraid of an autistic blob of fat? Chris is so weak and unmanly, it's no wonder no girl wants to have sex with him. --[[User:Jerkop|Jerkop]] 00:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

*I also agree with Clyde. Aside from his poor [[Chris and Health|health]] and his [[obesity]], Chris proved last September that he was too weak to even break a thin, tiny wooden stake(and even if he did that wouldn't be very impressive). Heck, Chris had trouble with [[Chris Loses It|''cardboard'']] and [[CWC Fighter]] was just laughably bad--Chris has zero coordination. The only wood Chris ever managed to break was his own [[Duck|dick]]. It's not intimidating in the slightest. Chris should just stick to yelling at people.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:25, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:I dunno, Chris is the kind of person that everyone would underestimate. For good reason, of course! The guy can't even do a single proper push-up. But his spastic flailing could land a lucky shot. Normally, that could be akin to being slapped by your 90 year old grandmother, but with that pen knife of his he could do some damage. In the sense you'd get a nasty infection from all the germs that thing must be crawling with from being in his possession. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:37, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::That's assuming you can't either escape/disarm him in the five seconds it takes him to open the thing. Which wouldn't be hard for anyone above the age of ten.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 01:46, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Wouldn't you be too distracted laughing? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 01:55, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Nah, I'd disarm him and ''then'' laugh. We're not comic book villains, after all.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:01, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
**وقال "لا يفعل شيئا فهو ضعيف جدا--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 01:15, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
***علينا أن نعمل على موقعنا العربية, brother. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:17, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
*I also agree with Clyde. You would have to be a total weakling to be afraid of Chris. His pushup video was laughable, and barely being able to curl a 10 lb 12 pack of soda with crappy form should remove any doubt about his weakness.

{{welcome|Champthom}}--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 00:12, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-07-10T17:37:15Z

Mp83: /* Chris Has Been Spotted Again */

== To Do ==
I don't normally do this whole to do thing, but...
*<s>Get a gallery of this stuff up.
*put up the video like we have all his others.</s>
Maybe get some more background information, if we can.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:59, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:That was quick.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:26, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== What we can get out of this ==
These files prove that Chris is actually going to more social even its, influenced by rocky, but also we learned that he is creepy enough to wear his bra in public and he still dances like a turkey mating. Considering the bra is more like a "sign" of some sorts, could this be added into the "love quest" page?.--[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 01:55, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:This latest turn of events has proven that Chris trolls himself harder than anyone else ever could. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 01:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Chris is actually going out now, huh? I think it's clear it won't work and once Chris realizes this he'll be back to his old self again. Come to think of it, we could use this video to give him a false sense of paranoia, by claiming we have people following him. This could get us a nice reaction.--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 02:10, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Did anybody else notice the absence of the Medallion of Fail? Any other photo? It's kind of historic if he really ventured out of his cubbyhole without it, whatever the reason. Also, the (wraparound?) glasses. --[[User:ErsatzHouse|ErsatzHouse]] 05:58, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

You know, the last time he was out this much was during his love quest, getting his ass kicked by jerkops and manajerks in the real world. Perhaps we can start seeing something similar in the near future? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

We can hope. In the meantime I called Chris and left a message saying that the trolls are now stalking him in real life now, going with Hirro's idea to give him paranoia. I figure we can try scaring him back onto the internet. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:24, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I also sent him an e-mail message linking to the videos recorded of him at the event with the subject stating that he was being followed. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Yay~ People liked my idea. But if we're going with it, we'll need more sightings. Also, Independence day surprise?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]] 05:52, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Yes... he truly has nowhere to run now. And I hope Clyde hasn't forgotten his promise for an Independence Day surprise. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:I completely forgot about that [[User:Sinisterminister|Sinisterminister]] 04:00, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

He had better not have forgotten it. Because if he does, I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! Seriously though. We need a PS3 hacking. Soon. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 02:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I think we should all thank our greatest operative, Rochelle Shoemaker, for this bounty of lulz.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 02:36, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Good thing this happened. Now to wait for him to check his e-mail, then my crazed troll plan will start... --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Trollish]] 02:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

* I love how the first thing that popped into everyone's mind was "Gay Trucker"... That alone will be enough for Chris to loose his shit. On a side note, Chris now officially fails at dancing and public decency (If wearing a shirt that says "I love vagina" to a family event doesn't do it, I don't know what does) --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 22:53, 18 June 2010 (EST)
**/me waits for the cops to knock at his door... [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the HAHAHA]] 03:05, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

Heh, this might have something to do with an email I sent him. I suggested he check out [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Punk Desert Punk] It's about a lecherous twat who's obsessed with getting laid, but women find him rude and repulsive. It's got plenty of fan service though, and the main character, despite being depicted as a loser when it comes to sex, is still standard anime fare badass-goofy (like Vash the Stampede in Trigun) so it should appeal to him. There is one story element that I was hoping Chris would see and not go over his head, the introduction of the loli character. To quote the wiki article
:"Kosuna is the former apprentice of the Shimmer Sniper. Her goal is to become the desert's number one "power babe" mercenary, meaning stronger than any man and more beautiful than any woman. After the Shimmer Sniper is defeated by Kanta, Kosuna follows him and constantly begs to be made his apprentice. Kanta highly objects at first but eventually accepts her after she shows him a picture of a large breasted woman Kosuna claims to be her mother, implying how attractive Kosuna would be in years to come. Kanta, a heavily perverted guy, can't help but accept her, though his personal motives are clearly to groom Kosuna to be his personal mate when she grows up."
Sounds like building a sweetheart from the ground up, 'eh? I never got a reply, despite sending it to his gmail, aol, and youtube accounts. If he did read it and check it out, this could be indicative of his apparent courtship of little girls. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 04:51, 18 June 2010 (UTC)
:He wasn't courting little girls, the girls got near him because he had a DS and they wanted to play it too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:54, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::In that pic, maybe. Why else would he boogie down surrounded by delicious loli while wearing his new "attraction ensemble"? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:::You're putting way too much thought into this. Chris isn't a pedophile, he's just really, really stupid and socially inept. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 05:17, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::::Neither was that character. Another episode had them sharing a sleeping bag the survive a cold desert night, and he freaked out. The intent is for Chris to get the idea that creating a close bond with one or a harem of loli will enable him to brainwash the little tykes into something he can fuck in a few years. The deviousness comes from the fact that Chris is incapable understanding boundaries and his idea that showing minors porn is "educational". --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Oh god, this was creepy. Spotting him amongst the crowd was like watching those 'Slender Man' videos, only it was insanely easy to find the horror. I think this proves that, when left to his own devices, Chris A) Acts more like a dumbass than ever before, or B) Gets himself into trouble with the law. I was afraid he was going to try to murder someone, but this proves he's a perfectly healthy human being. Also, I hope the little girl in the photo said 'no' when he likely offered her candy. --[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 19 June 2010
::More likely, if he had any candy, he would have eaten it all himself. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:25, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:You know what Chris? Stay off the internet. You're even more of a lolcow in real life. Seriously, this is hilariously creepy and awesome. Definitely add this into the Love Quest page, because his crappy "Captain Morgan" pose in multiple different places with his... bra sign... cruelly in plain sight of everyone is an obvious extension of his love search. Except I think the Gameboy and sign was slightly better for him, because at least then he could get sympathy. This is literally indecent and just disgusting. I'm a fat guy myself, and I'd never even consider just randomly taking my shirt off in a public place. Let alone if I was wearing a bra...([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 05:58, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
::The only downside to that is someone has to be there to record him acting like a dumbass in public, or else we'd never know any of the shit he gets himself into. We lucked out this time. There's probably plenty of times he did stuff like this when noone was around to film him or take pictures of him and we'll never know unless Chris mentions it himself with plenty of bias, no doubt. [[User:Sakanz|Sakanz]] 00:30, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

:What can you get outta this? This is what happens when you live 28 years of your life as a pathetic diagnosis holder locked up in your room. Seriously, just look at how pasty white his arms and gigantic gut are. Clearly those alone should be a testament to how very little sunlight he gets. [[User:TRock|TRock]] 21, June 2010

:Take the picture of him doing the Captain Morgan pose in the bra and put it on a dating or gay relations website. And then send him the results. I mean, I know this has been done before, but still... -[[User:Inferno232|Inferno232]] 05:06, 25 June 2010 (UTC)

== Started a video box. ==

Added the 100_0690.MOV thru 100_0692.MOV as a starter. [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the still HAHAHA]] 04:23, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

==Why show his bra?==

Clearly, Chris doesn't have any compunctions about proving to the world that he wears women's underwear because he's a retard, but being that this was clearly a family event and he was wearing a shirt about pussy, could Jerkops have made him change? Any way of knowing? —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 05:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:If he keeps coming back and someone complains, it's likely the jerkops will intervene. And this time, in front of hundreds of witnesses. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 05:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
* I would say, with something like this, Jerkops could have gotten him to change the shirt easily, though if this was a free event, which I wouldn't be surprised at all, they probably wouldn't fully enforce it. The bra, on the other hand, is completely different. If a woman was running around in her bra, yes, they would stop her, but this is ''Chris'' we're talking about here. Since he's a guy, I'm guessing they don't see many guys running around in bras, so they wouldn't think twice.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 05:56, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
Can't he be charged for indecent exposure or dissorderly conduct or something?--[[User:Hiiro|Hiiro]]
* Probably not, since he's not actually indecently exposing anything. It's not illegal as far as I know for a man to go around shirtless, and this seems to be more of an outdoor community street fair, so I don't think policies like that can really be enforced. Even if they were, he's not technically shirtless, since he's wearing a bra. But he should definitely have to change the shirt, with so many little kids around. Well, at least it's better than the Mount and Dew Me one. Seeing as that one is a legitimately homosexual t-shirt. ([[User:KingoftheJuice|KingoftheJuice]] 06:02, 19 June 2010 (UTC))
** Yeah, in most every place I know of in the USA a man can go topless, though a woman can't. So Chris wearing a bra in public wouldn't be indecent exposure. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 23:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*This whole thing makes me wonder if it ever crossed Chris Chan's retarded brain (or lack thereof) that a man walking around in a sports bra is gay? That boy is so far in the closet that he's in fuckin' Narnia. [[User:Jerkop421]] 20-06-2010, 0632 Hours (GMT).
**No, no, no. Chris is SO STRAIGHT that he BLOCKED OFF his closet so he could not POSSIBLY BE IN IT!.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 06:54, 21 June 2010 (UTC)
== The innocent ==

The girl's face is blocked in the cropped photo but the one in the gallery remains clear. What's the policy then? [[User:Nechita|Nechita]] 06:35, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

It's a joke--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 06:48, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== There are more photos ==

Post them all. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 10:18, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*[[CWCki:DOITFAGGOT|Get to it then]] :p. Also, we need an uncensored version of that one with the kid. Justification - 1) whoever made the set ("Archie Bunker") would have censored it if he felt like it was a concern for the child, 2) a child's privacy is probably not going to be threatened by inclusion in a picture, 3) I can't think of any troll who is obsessed enough to track down a girl who look at Chris in a picture just to get info or whatever from her. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:03, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::Also it's badly edited - looks terrible. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 16:45, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== Pokéwalker? ==

What the hell does he use that for?--[[User:OrsonZedd|OrsonZedd]] 14:16, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

I played a downloaded version of Heartgold so I didn't get one, but it's my understanding that you put one of your pokemon in it or onto it and when you walk around it gives the pokemon xp. So, he uses it to level up his pokemon. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 14:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:According to [[Wikipedia:Nintendo_DS_accessories#Pok.C3.A9walker|Wikipedia]]:
:''The Pokéwalker is a Poké Ball-shaped pedometer which can connect to Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver game cards via infrared signals. The player can transfer a Pokémon to the Pokéwalker from either HeartGold or SoulSilver. Every time the player takes a step, the Pokémon inside gains experience points and the player earns "Watts", a type of in-game currency which was also used on the Pokémon Pikachu virtual pet. Players can also catch various Pokémon on the device and obtain items, then transfer them to the game. The device comes bundled with the games.''
--[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 15:19, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:* I confirm. I have seen such a device onto action and it is quite easy to accumulate xp. If I remember clearly, it gives the owner a single xp by step. So this will not influence the girth of our manchild. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
== I can't believe it ==
Why is he wearing a manbra with writing. and WHY hasnt the police arrested him or something for doing that.
T_T The poor children are scared....especially when he dances with em, what a PEDOFORK. >.<
[[User:BabyNeko|BabyNeko]]

* As long as he isn't causing a problem with it the messages on his clothing are technically covered by the first amendment. At least if it's on public property. ---[[User:ConCat|ConCat]] 15:42, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

== This is fucking hilarious ==

It's true... Chris trolls himself harder than we do.

I say we leave him off the internet for a while and observe him, see if he does more dumb shit. If not (or nothing out of the ordinary), we can always get him back with Hiiro's plan of making him paranoid. [[User:Doctor Nuriel|Doctor Nuriel]] 17:37, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
*I had thoughts of sending him an email full of shots of his house from Google Maps with the Google crap cropped out along with random gay porn pictures in an attachment to him to see how scared he gets. -- [[User:Eniggy|Eniggy the Cunning]] 17:51, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
** you are a huge faggot and that's a horrible idea. -- [[User:Boop|Boop]] 19:51, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

==Maybe it's just me, but==
In some of these videos/pictures, when Chris is standing with his back to the crowd, it looks to me like he's sticking his ass out as far as he can. Remember, Chris thinks he has a great ass (can't remember where he said that, so if you guys know please tell me), so it wouldn't surprise me if this was an intentional ploy to get a gal-pal, though it ends up looking unnatural and creepy. Best example: [http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:100_0678.JPG this image] in which he is sitting, but in a manner which to me looks incredibly unnatural. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 18:30, 19 June 2010 (UTC)

:Don't remember him saying this, but totally possible. [http://cogsdev.org/w/images/thumb/0/02/0779-CWCREAR.JPG/450px-0779-CWCREAR.JPG Pic related.] --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 18:38, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
::He's definitely posing. What's more the only time he wasn't posing is when he was playing the Vidja. Every time he's trying to position himself to appear cool and relaxed, and ends up looking awkward and terrifying. I'm sure in his mind this makes him incredibly attractive to the ladies, but we all know how good Chris's mind is.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 20:29, 19 June 2010 (UTC)
:Isn't one effect of autism not knowing how to position yourself in a "natural" way? Chris might just fail at standing and/or posture. God knows he doesn't have much practice at either. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 01:36, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
:: Yes, it is. Stereotypy (IE, repetitive movements) is a symptom of it, and often manifests in posing or rocking. [[User:BubblegumPinkButler|BubblegumPinkButler]] 07:23, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

==So how long has it been?==
I added a minor note on Chris mentioning FAF in the 6/6/2010 video. Can anyone confirm or deny if 6/4 was the first time he visited the event? I know the 6/6 video was the first time he talked about it.--[[User:AdderCress|AdderCress]] 01:35, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

==Next Friday after Five?==

If he has been going regularly to these events, then there's a a good chance that he will resurface again this Friday. Do we have any agents who will be in the area to confirm? This could become a regular attraction location for him, and we should get as much video proof of his misadventures as we can before he's inevitably thrown out. --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 11:43, 21 June 2010 (EST)

We have at least one known agent in the area; I'm sure the rest have been alerted to look out for him. Of course, the fact that Chris may be on to use may mean he's not showing up anymore. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:46, 21 June 2010 (UTC)

==Just an observation==
Does the Chris Dance remind anyone else of the music video for Rubber Johnny? --[[user:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 18:14, 21 June 2010 (CEST)

== Enjoy <s>Coca Cola</s> Vagina ==

The article says the operative saw Chris wearing a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina," but I bet it was just "Enjoy Vagina." I bet it was [http://www.sportressofblogitude.com/2010/05/10/its-funny-because-he-got-on-tv-and-his-t-shirt-had-the-word-vagina-on-it/ this shirt], which parodies Coca Cola, much like his "Mount and Do Me" shirt parodied Mountain Dew. This and its red color are all I have as evidence, but still, this soda-themed t-shirt prurience might be a pattern that could eventually be added to the [[Chris and fashion]] section, if not elsewhere. --[[User:GrannyT|GrannyT]] 16:52, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

*He's mentioned Spencer's Gifts before, hasn't he? I looked for the shirt online and couldn't find it. I'm sure they don't have their whole catalog on the site or whatever. Not sure if he got them there. Just saying. —[[User:Thepicklesuitintheman|Thepicklesuitintheman]] 16:56, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

*See this image: [[http://cogsdev.org/cwcki/File:I_enjoy_vagina_shirt.png]] Pretty sure it's the same shirt. [[User:Anonymous one|Anonymous one]] 20:52, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
:*I think anonymous one's right. That shirts a pretty direct match. We all know the shirts are basically the new attraction sign, but why the fuck do they all have to do with soda?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:33, 22 June 2010 (UTC)
::Chris ''really'' likes soda... --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 23:12, 22 June 2010 (UTC)

== Is Stalking Him Legal? ==

I mean, I am not trying to defend Chris here or anything, but taking pictures of him without him knowing and encouraging people to send in any pictures of him...there's something about this that seems like Chris could call the police for (he thinks people are after him). I just want to clarify. --SpaceScreaminJohn 23:29, 27 June 2010 (UTC)
:Even if he did, he'll likely ramble on about internet people - and I don't think our field agents are going to be easily identified. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 23:46, 27 June 2010 (UTC)
:He's in a public area and he's not being followed into a bathroom or some other place with a reasonable expectation of privacy. It might qualify as low-level harassment, but probably nothing more serious. -[[User:Schismtracer|Schismtracer]] 03:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:Please look at [http://www.peopleofwalmart.com this site] and then tell me how taking pictures of the manchild in a public area can be considered as illegal. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:46, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== Chris Has Been Spotted Again ==

That's twice now. Once last month, once [[July 2010|this month.]] --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:29, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

* Hmm, no gay trucker or desperate attraction signs this time. Either he knows were watching him or someone finally told him how the lame these tactics were. I'm guessing the 1st option --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, look between his legs in the photo taken from behind--he's got something there. An Attraction Sign.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 03:48, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:* Another proof that celebrate this well-known fact; Chris never learns. Pity we don't have an angle on the sign's text. Let's hope for it in the next sighting. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
*Isn't the July 9th sighting the same as the July 4th sighting? I took it to mean it was the same sighting, both occuring on the 4th. -[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 15:44, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::[[Mp83]], in the community portal between [[Danny]]'s two long posts, he posted this short post:

"Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs...[links to pictures] "

The first part of that short post leads me to believe that he has spotted Chris twice, inadvertently, at two different times. -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 17:29, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Good point. I stand corrected. -[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 17:37, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Talk:Fridays After Five

2010-07-10T15:44:39Z

Mp83: /* Chris Has Been Spotted Again */

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T04:42:16Z

Mp83: /* CWC Sighting */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, sorry they're so bland. I'm a bit slow-in-the-mind so I can't think of anything witty for them. Those sound good to me!

Oh yeah, and I don't know what picture to use for Alec (there was a nice picture of Asperchu, but it's already used for the Asperpedia template), so I'll skip his box for now. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Might I suggest a picture from his appearance in Sonichu? Probably the best we could do other than maybe a different picture of Asperchu.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I added some shit. Feel free to edit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I made the boxes for [[Template:MPS|the Man in the Pickle Suit]] and [[Template:Evan|Evan]]. I was working on Alec's but [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] [[Template:AlecBensonLeary|beat me to it]]. Also I think some of them have that annoying white space problem though. Fuuu- --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
*Dramallama (banned)
TOTAL: 26
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******** And the police tape. ''Can't'' forget the police tape. --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16 likes Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC) 04:04, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Sorry, that was a typo. SHE shook her head at him. Thanks for pointing that out so I could fix it. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 00:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Wait a minute... does he have multiple pokewalkers? Where did those come from? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::::Heart Gold and Soul Silver each come with one, right? He probably bought both versions so he could trade with himself.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:27, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::But you also can see the Sonichu Pokewalker--meaning he bought a third copy as well.
::::::::::Well, we now know what he might have replaced the Sonichu medallion with. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:39, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::::...so he has two copies of one of the games? It's either that or he bought a used one from [[GameStop]]... god ''damn'', Chris.--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 04:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting. Chris seems to be getting a fair bit fatter judging by the rolls of fat in that first pic. He's like a land whale now. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Holy SHIT look at how skinny his legs are in that first picture. Compare them to the woman on his right, then the fat guy on his left. It's a wonder he can even walk around. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* I'm pretty sure that's just a result of his pant cuffs being pulled tight. In picture 2, you can see he's wearing extremely baggy pants, so if he moved his legs parts, the fabric would tighten around them, giving the illusion that their very skinny. If Chris's legs were really that skinny, they would have snapped under the weight of his massive girth --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't know, his arms are pretty damn skinny, too. Which is amazing considering how fat he is. He has literally no triceps. I also wonder how long it'll be until he gets arrested by the jerkops for soliciting an underage girl. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:06, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*As far as I can remember, Chris make a constant effort to include the "18-XX" comment on every attraction sign he made so far. So, no underage girls for him. Soliciting, on the other side, might be used against him the second anyone in the "Friday After Five" will wish to remove him from the area. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*I think this has more to do with bone structure. He was skinny back in high school. Once he went off to college, he stopped having balanced meals and started eating junk food three times a day. His fat congeals around his torso, but his limbs remained the same. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*He didn't go off to college, he still lived at home while at PVCC. His age caught up to his metabolism and he seems to have gotten lazier. -[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:42, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T04:08:41Z

Mp83: /* CWC Sighting */ fix my signing

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, sorry they're so bland. I'm a bit slow-in-the-mind so I can't think of anything witty for them. Those sound good to me!

Oh yeah, and I don't know what picture to use for Alec (there was a nice picture of Asperchu, but it's already used for the Asperpedia template), so I'll skip his box for now. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Might I suggest a picture from his appearance in Sonichu? Probably the best we could do other than maybe a different picture of Asperchu.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I added some shit. Feel free to edit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I made the boxes for [[Template:MPS|the Man in the Pickle Suit]] and [[Template:Evan|Evan]]. I was working on Alec's but [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] [[Template:AlecBensonLeary|beat me to it]]. Also I think some of them have that annoying white space problem though. Fuuu- --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
*Dramallama (banned)
TOTAL: 26
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******** And the police tape. ''Can't'' forget the police tape. --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16 likes Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC) 04:04, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Sorry, that was a typo. SHE shook her head at him. Thanks for pointing that out so I could fix it. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 00:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Wait a minute... does he have multiple pokewalkers? Where did those come from? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::::Heart Gold and Soul Silver each come with one, right? He probably bought both versions so he could trade with himself.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:27, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::But you also can see the Sonichu Pokewalker--meaning he bought a third copy as well.
::::::::::Well, we now know what he might have replaced the Sonichu medallion with. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:39, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting. Chris seems to be getting a fair bit fatter judging by the rolls of fat in that first pic. He's like a land whale now. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Holy SHIT look at how skinny his legs are in that first picture. Compare them to the woman on his right, then the fat guy on his left. It's a wonder he can even walk around. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* I'm pretty sure that's just a result of his pant cuffs being pulled tight. In picture 2, you can see he's wearing extremely baggy pants, so if he moved his legs parts, the fabric would tighten around them, giving the illusion that their very skinny. If Chris's legs were really that skinny, they would have snapped under the weight of his massive girth --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't know, his arms are pretty damn skinny, too. Which is amazing considering how fat he is. He has literally no triceps. I also wonder how long it'll be until he gets arrested by the jerkops for soliciting an underage girl. --[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:06, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T04:08:04Z

Mp83: /* CWC Sighting */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, sorry they're so bland. I'm a bit slow-in-the-mind so I can't think of anything witty for them. Those sound good to me!

Oh yeah, and I don't know what picture to use for Alec (there was a nice picture of Asperchu, but it's already used for the Asperpedia template), so I'll skip his box for now. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Might I suggest a picture from his appearance in Sonichu? Probably the best we could do other than maybe a different picture of Asperchu.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I added some shit. Feel free to edit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I made the boxes for [[Template:MPS|the Man in the Pickle Suit]] and [[Template:Evan|Evan]]. I was working on Alec's but [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] [[Template:AlecBensonLeary|beat me to it]]. Also I think some of them have that annoying white space problem though. Fuuu- --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
*Dramallama (banned)
TOTAL: 26
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******** And the police tape. ''Can't'' forget the police tape. --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16 likes Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC) 04:04, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? [[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Sorry, that was a typo. SHE shook her head at him. Thanks for pointing that out so I could fix it. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 00:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Wait a minute... does he have multiple pokewalkers? Where did those come from? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::::Heart Gold and Soul Silver each come with one, right? He probably bought both versions so he could trade with himself.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:27, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::But you also can see the Sonichu Pokewalker--meaning he bought a third copy as well.
::::::::::Well, we now know what he might have replaced the Sonichu medallion with. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:39, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting. Chris seems to be getting a fair bit fatter judging by the rolls of fat in that first pic. He's like a land whale now. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Holy SHIT look at how skinny his legs are in that first picture. Compare them to the woman on his right, then the fat guy on his left. It's a wonder he can even walk around. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* I'm pretty sure that's just a result of his pant cuffs being pulled tight. In picture 2, you can see he's wearing extremely baggy pants, so if he moved his legs parts, the fabric would tighten around them, giving the illusion that their very skinny. If Chris's legs were really that skinny, they would have snapped under the weight of his massive girth --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't know, his arms are pretty damn skinny, too. Which is amazing considering how fat he is. He has literally no triceps. I also wonder how long it'll be until he gets arrested by the jerkops for soliciting an underage girl.[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:06, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T04:06:50Z

Mp83: /* CWC Sighting */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah, sorry they're so bland. I'm a bit slow-in-the-mind so I can't think of anything witty for them. Those sound good to me!

Oh yeah, and I don't know what picture to use for Alec (there was a nice picture of Asperchu, but it's already used for the Asperpedia template), so I'll skip his box for now. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 00:26, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:Might I suggest a picture from his appearance in Sonichu? Probably the best we could do other than maybe a different picture of Asperchu.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I added some shit. Feel free to edit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I made the boxes for [[Template:MPS|the Man in the Pickle Suit]] and [[Template:Evan|Evan]]. I was working on Alec's but [[User:ALBASPERCHU|ALBASPERCHU]] [[Template:AlecBensonLeary|beat me to it]]. Also I think some of them have that annoying white space problem though. Fuuu- --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 01:46, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
*Dramallama (banned)
TOTAL: 26
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******** And the police tape. ''Can't'' forget the police tape. --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16 likes Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's]] 04:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC) 04:04, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook her head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? [[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Sorry, that was a typo. SHE shook her head at him. Thanks for pointing that out so I could fix it. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 00:36, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::::Wait a minute... does he have multiple pokewalkers? Where did those come from? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 00:18, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::::Heart Gold and Soul Silver each come with one, right? He probably bought both versions so he could trade with himself.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 00:27, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::::But you also can see the Sonichu Pokewalker--meaning he bought a third copy as well.
::::::::::Well, we now know what he might have replaced the Sonichu medallion with. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 01:39, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
Sorry for not adding more with the pictures, but I did notice that Chris had taken his DSi zoom lense(thanks for clarifying that up for me, guys) off his DSi and was using it as a telescope. He had it pressed up against his eye and was constantly watching around him with it for awhile. He also had this habit of taking off and putting on his sunglasses within seconds of each other. It seemed like he paid more attention to what was going on around him than what was happening at the concert. At one point, I noticed a girl, who looked like she was probably still in highschool, jump up on the ledge beside Chris to join a group of friends who happened to be stationed behind the manbaby. In the process, Chris turned to her and it looked like he said something to her, because immediately her facial expression changed from a legit happy one to a forced smile one. She joined up with her friends and they immediately huddled up together, whispering about something. At the same time they all looked up at Chris, and laughed. I can only imagine what he had said to the poor girl. A few moments later, one of the guys in the group picked up his cell phone and snapped a picture of Chris from behind. Maybe he's aware of who Chris is and will share his story somewhere. At that point, whether or not Chris realized they were making fun of him, he picked up his stuff and switched seating spots. I chose to take my leave at that point. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:05, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Interesting. Chris seems to be getting a fair bit fatter judging by the rolls of fat in that first pic. He's like a land whale now. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::* Holy SHIT look at how skinny his legs are in that first picture. Compare them to the woman on his right, then the fat guy on his left. It's a wonder he can even walk around. - [[User:Borednewb|Borednewb]] 01:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* I'm pretty sure that's just a result of his pant cuffs being pulled tight. In picture 2, you can see he's wearing extremely baggy pants, so if he moved his legs parts, the fabric would tighten around them, giving the illusion that their very skinny. If Chris's legs were really that skinny, they would have snapped under the weight of his massive girth --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 03:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)
::::*I don't know, his arms are pretty damn skinny, too. Which is amazing considering how fat he is. He has literally no triceps.[[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 04:06, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

CWCki:Community Portal

2010-07-10T00:13:19Z

Mp83: /* CWC Sighting */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__
The Community Portal is designed to be a public forum to discuss CWCki related affairs for site wide concerns, policy, that sort of thing.

Please consult the archives to make sure your concern hasn't already been posted before:

'''Archive:''' [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 1|1]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 2|2]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 3|3]]
[[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 4|4]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 5|5]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 6|6]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 7|7]] [[CWCki:Community Portal/Archive 8|8]]

== Since I've been gone ==

I was in the hospital for a few days and apparently, shit came up. Looks like shit was settled though...or was it? Your thoughts, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 20:20, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Define "shit" Champ. Shit as in Chris's madness on flipnote, shit as in the Asperpedia hack, or shit as in Alex being a retard? In any case, nothing was settled. At all. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 21:50, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Mostly agree; Chris has been typical Chris on Flipnote and Asperpedia is still being fucking weird, but 16BitAlex is gone, and BabyNeko left as well in a flurry of drama, so that specific shit has settled for the moment. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 21:59, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
*Well, BabyNeko is gone. But Alex certainly is not. He said he was going, but like certain other manchildren before him, he is continueing to frequent that which he said he would leave forever, posting more bullshit about apples and his racist views on asian women or some shit like that. I have no clue what he's really saying. He used to make sense, and then his language just devolved into retarded babbling. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:31, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
**I removed my "retarded babbling". --[[User:16BitAlex|16BitAlex]] 00:07, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
***Your "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" tactic just makes you look worse, you know.--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 01:59, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*Typical garden-variety madness, nothing serious. I wish you a speedy recovery. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:53, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
:*Faggots did drama, Chris kept on being Chris. Hope whatever hospitalized you wasn't too serious and that you get well soon.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 18:39, 29 June 2010 (UTC)
beat said it best. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==Long time, no see==

I was reading an issue of Rolling Stone yesterday, and I found out that California rejected funding for an IRL homosexuality "cure". Wouldn't it be fun if we told Chris about this, just for his reaction? Guys? --[[User:SniperFire16|SniperFire16]] 15:42, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

:Possibly. Actually, the way things are going now, he could start building an actual political platform that would include anti-badmouthing, homo vaccines, and dating education. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 18:37, 29 June 2010 (UTC)

== 16bitfaggot B& BryanBash ==

I am a humble user, barely making edits and staying out of this petty drama. But this is far, far more of a crime than I can let go by unpunished. Ban this faggot.--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 02:04, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

What the fuck happened? I'm a bit out of the loop. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 02:23, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

*16bitAlex is being lame. Unfortunately, it's the poisonous kind of lame that compels others to act lame in a display of how much they hate him. At least I think that's what's going on.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:27, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
**That's about right. I forget where it started, but you can see a lot of it on Delabonte's page. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:28, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
***My personal justification is that I needed a reason to act like a fag to somebody, and to put it bluntly, he's the perfect excuse. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:31, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
****What did your girlfriend break up with you, and now you're hiding your secret pain by lashing out on the internet? I realize he's being a moron and I'm honestly shocked he hasn't been banned yet, but you guys have managed to fill the entire recent changes page with your little bitch fight against him on multiple occasions. That shit is just sad.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 02:51, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*****Haven't had a girlfriend in months. Sorry about the recent changes thing, I guess it didn't occur to me that that was the case. I came here back in January primarily as a troll, and I hadn't done any trolling here yet. Call me immature, but it was doing what I came here to do, and it was satisfying. Seems like it's just about blown over now though, so I'll resume normal editing duties shortly. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 02:57, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
******Sorry about clogging the first page of recent changes on your website dedicated to documenting everything a 28 year old manbaby has ever done. Seriously, fucking relax. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 03:09, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*******I actually did want to stay out of the drama. I just posted a single comment on Delabonte's page telling Alex to abandon his account and just set up a new online identity. I just wanted to end this shit. Unfortunatly, he instead went on to cause more drama, and it pissed me off to the point I became an active participant. Well, i've learned my lesson now; Never try to white knight for anybody. If they are being trolled then they probably deserve it. I'm sorry for being a faggot everyone. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 10:36, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Times Square Billboard Images ==

Where on the cwcki can I view them?
[[User:BigDipper|BigDipper]] 19:20 30 June 2010 (UTC)
*They're here - http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/20_December_2009 [[User:Irenicus|Irenicus]] 11:13, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

== Ok... ==
You know what I hate more than anything else in the world? Gary Oak. Gary motherfucking Oak and the 500 motherfucking server error. Now, I know that the people in charge probably won't listen to this suggestion. I know it'd cause a lot of trouble to actually do it. I know that there is most likely some reason why we haven't already done it. But i'm not 100% certain, so i'm gonna throw this suggestion out there in the vain hope that someone sees it and either does it or at least explains why we can't;

Why don't we move CWCki to the Hsienko servers that Asperpedia is hosted on?

Because I NEVER have any of this shit when doing stuff there. Not once. Ever. At all.

Over there, internal server errors do not exist.

Just throwing it out there. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 22:40, 1 July 2010 (UTC)
*Having just received the 500 error (while logging in, no less), I like this idea.-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 23:20, 1 July 2010 (UTC)==
*And now the errors are getting worse. Are they trying to tell us something?-[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 00:46, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
**I think today the website is just more stressed than usual. It's what motivated me to post. I was getting so fucking many on recent changes all the time. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:51, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*The 500 errors are becoming infuriatingly common, but I'm thinking there has to be a fix that doesn't involve moving the whole site.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 01:59, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Contact Info ==
I've got an idea that will probably elicit no reaction whatever from Chris but has to be worth a try. But he's always abandoning accounts and changing his email. Does anyone have his most up-to-date email address? Does anyone know if he still even checks it anymore? I know he said he was giving up internet, but he's still on Flipnote, so you never know. Thanks a million and Happy Canada Day! --[[User:Manwithoutabody|manwithoutabody]] 19:34 1 July 2010 CEST

: chrischansonichu@aol.com is and always has been his email account. These days he barely checks it and doesn't reply to anything, so best of luck; I've been bombarding it on and off from various email accounts ever since Sydney got through, but not even a single bite. Emailing Chris at this point is like pissing into an ocean of piss. p.s if your idea is 'pretend to be Megan, pretend to be a girl interested in him, say you dug up patti,pretend you are someone impossible (such as Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)), then I can safely say it won't work. Good luck though. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:03, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

==I MAD==

Okay, so the 'fan videos' is a cool and entertaining feature that can spice up a boring video page. Like all good ideas, however, something fucktarded has to come along. In this case, I'm talking about the utterly moronic practice of inserting videos that are either unrelated to the topic at hand, not actual Chris videos, or both. I'm not going to point any fingers namely because I've been gone forever and I'm not going to search through histories. Does a video with 'hurr durr i edited clips to make chris say he's gay' belong in the middle of the [[homos]] article? Does [[Sweetheart]] need some totally fucking irrelevant mashup at the top of the page?

At best, this is a misguided attempt at transplanting in humor. At worst, it's namefaggotry. I'm going to be weeding out this crap but it would be nice if certain people actively avoided this level of dumbfuckery. Put fan videos in a segment labeled fan videos, and maybe explain how the fuck it's relevant to the article.

/rage rage rage rage --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:04, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:Aren't we a little overzealous? Granted, some videos are useless, but '''we have a fan video template.''' Just get rid of the useless ones and fix the ones that stay. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 02:27, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

:*Essentially, that's what I want, for people to use the template and make sure the video is appropriate. You just said it without all my impotent NERD RAAAAAAAGE. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 02:31, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I've seen this shit around too, didn't know it was an issue. I'll keep an eye out in case someone adds that sort of thing in from now on. [[User:Thelieisacake|Thelieisacake]] 04:40, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I see what you're getting at. I think there are quite a few pages where there's far too many fan videos. A secondary goal of the CWCki which hasn't been quite elaborated on formally is that it should serve to preserve trolling culture and our collective trolling heritage that surrounds Chris. Personally, I think a fan video should only be included in an article if 1) it is notable in itself (see Vivian G's "DYKES DYKES CHINA," for instance) or 2) it illustrates a point clearly (can't think of a good example at the moment). In any case, it should be done sparingly. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:20, 2 July 2010 (UTC)

== Why I've banned 16BitAlex ==

When I was 4 or so, I had an NES when it was still pretty new and my babysitter loved playing it. One time, my mom took away the NES from me because my babysitter was so enamored with the NES, she would forget to, you know, watch me. It's something like that.

I really didn't follow shit he did closely because Chris is enough drama to follow. 16BitAlex seemed to be causing drama that was counter productive to the CWCki's goal of documenting the life and times of Christian Weston Chandler.

It looks like he himself tried to ban himself and so I took it upon myself to do the job right for him. Alex, if you're reading this, you are free to appeal this ban. Likewise, he is free to create a new account and start life anew on the CWCki, provided he will not delve too much into his personal life and stay focused on just editing the CWCki.

I am really sick of this drama, not so much from CWCki editors but people like Clyde, and I'm afraid the only feasible solution I have was to remove Alex and in a way that was also to protect him because God damn, he is such a damn ass pie.

Now let's get back to work, people. --[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 15:06, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I officially declare the first Church of Champthom open. Praise the Lord, for we have been saved! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:12, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm glad you took care of this. Really, I'm surprised why none of the other admins stepped in. I guess they just wanted to see the drama unfold. Hopefully this will ''finally'' die down. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 15:18, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Champ, you are hot. I want you. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:33, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*Me too! --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 15:42, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*This is a good thing. The best thing, even.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 15:48, 2 July 2010 (UTC)
*I want to suck your big dick Champthom and have you come all over my face. --[[User:Delabonte|Delabonte]] 05:13, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Perhaps it's that I haven't slept since Thursday afternoon, but the NES analogy is going way over my head. Still, I'm glad to see it over, even if I was a contributor. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 05:38, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:The babysitter (CWCki editors) was playing the NES (messing with Alex) instead of doing her job and watching baby Champ. (obsessively chronicling the day to day life of an autistic manchild)--[[User:Star Platinum|Star Platinum]] 16:37, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Thank GodBearJesus that crap is over.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 06:09, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*To be honest I do think this 16BitAlex drama was creating confusion and chaos in the wiki. As much as I'd like to have trolled him, we do have to find a better place to do it. It was starting to get like an angry shouting match in broad daylight in the middle of a mall D: -- [[User:Da Nuke|Da_Nuke the Nucular Raeg Bomb]] 04:32, 4 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Very apt. In any case, the point is that Alex himself didn't do anything wrong, per say, only that he was acting in a way that was disruptive as feeding trolls (which, as this wiki serves as a beautiful illustration, is something you just don't do) and I felt it was best for him and this wiki for him to be banned. Anyways, just wanted to clarify that it has nothing to do with me hating Alex or siding with people trolling him, just wanted to get this shit taken care of.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 16:44, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Whatever your motives, we still love you just as much for actually doing it. The dude really needed to go. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 20:11, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris may be eligible for fraud charges ==

Greetings all. A friend of mine who used to work as paralegal in social security pointed out that Chris may be eligible for fraud charges. I don't know the exact rules myself, but it seems if you're taking the social security fund and, you are not supposed to have 'substantial assets' (that is, in excess of $2000, sans car and house). Seeing Chris' PS3 and list of purchases, he is very likely to have gone through that limit. Unless he could provide evidence that he is disabled for work, he may face up to 10 years in jail for the fraud charge.

The SSA office in charge of Virginia should be 1470 Pantops Mountain Place, Charlottesville - (434) 295-1144 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (434) 295-1144 end_of_the_skype_highlighting (reopens on 6th of July I heard). I can't report this issue due to me not being a US citizen, so I'm just pointing a possibility here.
*For the love of GodJesus, how hard is it to sign your posts?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 04:23, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
:*We've been over this. He has autism, and apparently that's good enough for the state of Virginia.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 04:28, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
::*Also, he really is too stupid to work--he couldn't even take out the garbage at Wendy's without fucking it up.--[[User:MoarLurk|MoarLurk]] 04:46, 3 July 2010 (UTC)
*Ah, I'm sorry about that, this is my first time using this function of a wiki page--[[User:Xanandar|Xanandar]] 04:53, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

'''Short answer:''' either you didn't hear your friend correctly, or he's a moron. Chris will never be pulled in on fraud charges.

'''Long answer:''' Assets that would be countable include excess real property, the fair market value of vehicles other than your primary vehicle, balances in savings accounts, excess burial plots, and revocable trusts. Legally, Chris owns very little, his parents owning all the real property (the house and land) and the accounts. Generally, items like TVs and PS3s aren't counted in the count of substantial assets, and oh god the legal shitstorm from revoking SSDI benefits because of DLC would be terrifying. Finally, the defense would have a field day with excuses on why he couldn't have understood the restriction. You might be thinking of "substantial gainful activity" ("SGA"), but that would be work which Chris.....doesn't.

Oh, and '''Supplemental Security Income =/= Social Security Disability Insurance'''. I'm fairly certain Chris receives a check from the latter, so it's more application based than needs based.

-[[User:Jump|attorney at lol]]

Sadly, I think the only thing Chris risks is a weekly follow-up with a social worker. I don't think I will see a judge punishing an autistic manchild on his first fraud offence. I am ready to bet an old 5$ that he will receive no punitive damages at all. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 06:15, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

== Attention all jerkops ==

Any user who interferes with [[User:JenkinsJinkies|JenkinsJinkies]] is to be banned from the CWCki. This user has provided original information about Chris and Clyde has confirmed this to be a confirmed CWCSighting.

That young, 14 year old boy and his valorous usage of his Nintendo DS to attempt to capture Chris warrants special attention and no one is to interfere with him.

Questions may be directed to me on a one-on-one basis (contact info available on my user page).--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 01:26, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== changes i'd like to see ==

so, i'm thinking about remaking the community portal as an actual portal. that is, a place with links to discussion areas for different topics. one of these would be about speculation, which leads me onto my next change: no more speculation in articles, unless it is ''extremely'' related. some articles have way too fucking much armchair psychology, which really has no place in the main namespace. this is an encyclopaedia of facts, not a gigantic talk page, so please confine your guesswork to either article discussion pages(if it is important to improving the article, i.e. decoding/translating chris's bullshit) or the speculation place(once it's made). please discuss how the community portal should be revamped, such as what discussion pages to create. --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 09:21, 4 July 2010 (UTC)

== MIA Asperpedian ==

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but does anyone know where I can find whoever went by the name "Sans" on Asperpedia? I need to discuss something with him. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 04:34, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Is it possible to have this screen name deleted? ==

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but I'd like my screen name deleted if that is possible. [[User:JamieTyler|JamieTyler]] 23:37, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

== Favorite Troll Userboxes? ==

Just a suggestion, we have Userboxes for the favorite Chandler cats, but none for one's favorite troll? I just thought it would be a good idea to put out like five for the biggest-names in CWC Trolling (Like Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike...Jimmy Hill?) [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 20:57, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
*I support this. I yearn for some way to show my infinite love of Liquid Chris. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:15, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
Ah, forgot about Liquid, but yeah, him too [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 23:32, 7 July 2010 (UTC)
:I feel Liquid would reign supreme. Still, it seems like we're missing a few; does Alec count? [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 03:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::I think Alec would count. How about Robert Simmons V or The Man in the Pickle Suit? --[[User:Paperback|Paperback]] 10:00, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Robert I don't think really warrants his own box. He didn't do a whole lot. I'd like to get a box for Evan if we're doing one for Alec. So, the list so far is Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Vivitheg, Bluespike, Liquid Chris, Alec, Man In The Pickle Suit, and Evan. Who would be up for making them? [[User:Woohah Master|Woohah Master]] 14:47, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::: I'll make them! Do you think there should be userboxes for favorite saga too? --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 21:54, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Okay, here's the boxes I've made so far:
*[[Template:ClydeCash|Clyde]]
*[[Template:JackThaddeus|Jack]]
*[[Template:VivianGee|Vivian]]
*[[Template:BlueSpike|BlueSpike]]
*[[Template:LiquidChris‎|Liquid]]

Sorry they're nothing special, feel free to edit them. --'''[[User:Lime|L]][[User_talk:Lime|i]][[Special:Contributions/Lime|m]][[nudes|e]]''' 22:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Needs some spicing up, i'll admit. Maybe some text relating to their trolling campaigns? Maybe something like "This user believes in the TRUE and HONEST Liquid Chris" or "This user is a Bluespike fan, and takes delight in Christian's pain" What do you guys think? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 00:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

== IBA fucking geneva ==

Is evading every five seconds and needs to be dealt with. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 03:36, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
: I have perma-banned the creep twice. Fells like a game of "Whack-A-Mole". [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 03:40, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:*Mighty fine work there, Griffintown.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 03:43, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::*I am glad to be helpful. Besides, what is the fun in a Wiki without the odd griefer to whack around? :) [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 05:27, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:I'd hate to be a fag and walk into this, but I was under the impression that we had his dox, so couldn't we just toss them out? If not there's software that lets us track IP and software even when the user is hiding behind Tor so we could just get his dox if we don't have it that way.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 04:03, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Oh god damn. The [[User:Pfaggot|name]] of his new account is harassment itself. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:28, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
*BTW his Juanbrujo account isn't banned yet. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 06:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yeah. Someone needs to deal with this guy. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 14:54, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
Account list:
*IBAgeneva (banned)
*JerryMathers (banned)
*Goyslayer (banned)
*Juanbrujo (banned)
*Pfaggot (banned)
*Herpdederp (banned)
*Derpaherp (banned)
*Greatjollynegro (banned)
*Uhuru (banned)
*Meenween (banned)
*Mrjoo (banned)
*Lawltiger (banned)
*Pewbmonster (banned)
*Niggomalema (banned)
*Mrpillow (banned)
*Farklesparkle (banned)
*Jammastercoon (banned)
*Travislikesbeer (banned)
*CountCockula (banned)
*Lightsideblue (banned)
*BEEEEES (banned)
*Rapeanator (banned)
*Loldongs (banned)
*Thoumad (banned)
*Spocker (banned)
TOTAL: 25
[[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 15:45, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:Does he think its even funny? Its pathetic and retarded. Maybe the category page shoud just say this person is a faggot.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 03:44, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Whoever this guy is, it sounds like he's either butthurt or a newfag since he only makes the same edits over and over. He fails as a vandal. Seriously. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 17:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You just don't know how fun this is, buddy. Also, Office Space was ok. Wasn't that great of a movie. :/ --[[User:Uhuru|Uhuru]] 17:15, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::It's fine we can just drop your dox and we'll see if you still think it's fun then. You know Tor doesn't hide your actual IP when you use these sites, at least not when the right software's around.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 17:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::That smacks of some sort of desperation. First of all, I get the hint you are talking out your ass. Second, u mad? --[[User:Mrjoo|Mrjoo]] 19:04, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
* Actually no, whenever you use Scripts/Flash Tor won't hide your IP, and there are several commercial programs that can track based on that. Try to figure out how your parachute works before you use it Here's a hint: the boxes that enable flash and Java, leave them off. Of course you can't edit if they are off... -[[User:Kei|Kei]] 20:48, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:You threaten me with dox and you only follow up with an explanation of how you could possibly find my IP address. You kind of fail at being an internet tough guy.--[[User:Pewbmonster|Pewbmonster]] 20:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::people are not acting like an inetrnet though guy, because your retarded fagottry is just annoying instead of infuriating. and dammit choose less retarded sockpuppets, because seriously "pewbmonster"? what are you? 13?[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 20:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Cool story bro. I can't account for how old I am but I know [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LU0Q6ONMQY Pfargtl9000] is a little kid. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:17, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::I never threatened, I just said that it's going to happen: it's not just "possibly" find, you've left a big gap and anyone reaasonably skilled and with the software can exploit that. You aren't invisible and there's no reason to why the management wouldn't crank up the rapemachine if you keep trying to act like a big bad troll. You obviously don't know how to vandalize a site, try to know what you're doing before getting smug.-[[User:Kei|Kei]] 21:22, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Hey you might want to shorten your post because I don't feel like reading all that. I mean if your full of hot air just say it. I just am not going to bother with your little screeds. --[[User:Niggomalema|Niggomalema]] 21:30, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
::::: Here's the shorter version: Your dox will be posted. and PS: YOu called Pfargt a little kid, but that little kid has shown more maturity than you ever will. you're a lost case.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 23:33, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::: Sounds like an empty threat, brah. Your IP is (censored). It isn't that big of a deal, is it? --[[User:Loldongs|Loldongs]] 00:13, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

[http://www.cogsdev.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk:Pfargtl9000&oldid=103044 Will there ever be an end to this?] [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:41, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

that's funny, i don't remember giving j0haely or kei any mod priveleges. maybe they should fuck off --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 06:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Congratulations, this is the CWCki staff, a bunch of angsty thirteen year old boys. No wonder this site can't get it's shit together. Some stupid shit happens and all you can do when the mods are afk or just idle, which is most of the time, is have your userbase make empty, childish threats. Why should anyone take this shit seriously anymore? This is all one big joke. It's like this site is run by the New*Furry*Military. --[[User:Spocker|Spocker]] 15:33, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Enjoy your ban. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 15:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::Enjoying every minute of it. --[[User:Dangerman|Dangerman]] 15:59, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::Then why do you keep coming back? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 16:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
: I never mentioned i had mod priviledges. i just find this petty bullshit annoying.[[User:J0haely|J0haely]] 16:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

It's always good to see another /cwc/ guy on, keeping it interesting. I think everyone (well, save for cogs) is taking this dude a bit too seriously. He's just fucking around, not even really vandalizing. Chill, niggers. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 16:11, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:I love a good game of "Whack-A-Mole". Quite relaxing. Looks like I have a partner for the next few days. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 16:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't take it so seriously, but it's like having to put up with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. It's pretty obnoxious. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 16:41, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Would someone please tell me why IP banning him and preventing account creation is so hard to do? I've done that sort of stuff on the Asperpedia when banning random vandals, and from what I've seen it's as simple as clicking two boxes. So what's the problem here then? --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 17:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I think this guy deserves his own article [[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 19:04, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Furfags and furfag sympathizers on cwcki? Still? [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000]], we know you're a fucking faggot who defends furniggers, etc. Get skype, pm me your skype on irc (I'm Krapple_Guy), and we'll settle this there. Do it plz, dramawhore. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 19:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:No. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Also, does it look like you have the power to force furries off the CWCki? If so, when did you get that pow- oh wait, '''you never had that power.''' Seeing how you are applying Legi0n's rules to a completely different website that doesn't use those rules, you are just making yourself look like an ''ass''. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:25, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Really? Is that what this is about? Furfags? Come on guys. This subject is so old that it's rotting. If you really have that much of a problem with them, then troll them on Youtube. It's much easier, you'd get banned less often, and it'd save grief for both the Krapple trolls and the CWCki. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 19:49, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:It seems like the only thing we can't insult is /cwc/, and if we do it we're basically labeled as "niggers" and "furfags". So, [[wikipedia:BioShock|would you kindly]] fuck off? (message not directed towards Edward) [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:Umm no. We at Legi0n really don't give two shits if you insult /cwc/. Feel free to insult it all you want. Thats not the point (a point you are avoiding btw). Point is, Pfargtl9000, you've defended known furfags on cwcki at least twice. [[User:EdtheHedgehog1894|Ed]] the sonicfag furrfag and [[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]] the pokemon fetishist furfag.

{{quote|Hi. In case you ask, I am a furry, more precisely a Pokefur. I am quite pissed that Chris is digging my fandom into a bigger hole every day.|[[User:MaxTehManyula|Max]]}}

Need I say more? Now then P, get skype and we'll talk. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 20:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Yes, I fucking already read that before you put it up in HUEG XBOX quotes. Thing is, I don't give two shits about what he is, unlike you. And one last thing; I'm not going into Skype. [[User:Pfargtl9000|Pfargtl9000 Spam and Eggs]] 20:34, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
Pfargtl9000's thing is that he loves to bitch and moan to the mods. He was continually trying to start drama on the cwcki because the idea of any form of fursecution makes his ass pucker. He also loves to raeg on this wiki through the use of rainbowtext and setting up his permaban template on the pages of new members that he perceives to be sock accounts with no proof whatsoever. It's rather funny that I'm able to get the cwcki staff to intimidate new users. --[[User:Dramallama|Dramallama]] 20:47, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

What do furries, or any of this, have to do with Christian Chandler? Im not even sure what we are trying to accomplish now...[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Absolutly nothihg. Pfargtl9000 is just causing a lot of drama because he's a faggot. I told him me & the guys from /cwc/ would be willing to settle things with him outside of cwcki (skype), but he refuses to listen and wants to use cwcki as his shield/personal army. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:It's accomplishing nothing; this is an open-and-shut case of vandalism and flame wars. We all know Cogs' policy; she doesn't care what you do as long as you don't bring faggotry to her site. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 21:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:: Agreed. Again, I told Pfargtl9000 that we'd be willing to settle all this via skype (and outside of cwcki), but he refuses. --[[User:VanKrause|VanKrause]] 21:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::It is possible that he either doesent want skype or feels that it is too personal (voice, real name, ect.) If Pfargt thinks that the cwcki is his 'personal army' then there is probably something the cwckians could do to help if help is needed?[[User:Leekduck|Leekduck]] 21:29, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

Look here guiz, this is accomplishing nothing. We are all just arguing over internet politics right now, and we've gone WAY off topic. Pfargtl's faggotry is another issue altogether, as are furries and people's opinions of /cwc/. Right now, I just want a ceasefire in this fucking edit war so that we can go back to researching and documenting the life of a 28 year old fat man from Virginia, and preferably either one side or the other to shut up on the subject of whatever the fuck Pfargtl is doing now as well, preferrably whichever one it was that started all this bullshit. --[[User:Edward|Edward]] 23:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== Game Place page vandalism ==

Some dickweed keeps editing the Game Place page to claim that someone's a sex offender. Can we ban him?--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:20, 8 July 2010 (UTC)

*From the information posted, I'd say it's relevant. Why not leave it up? [[User:ArizonaBay|ArizonaBay]] 22:56, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**Did this guy ever interact with Chris? If the answer is no, then it's ''not'' relevant.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 22:57, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
**:Trombonista is completely right. I don't know how many times it has to get pointed out, but the CWCki is. About. Chris. Nobody else. If the guy's record relates to Chris or whatever, then that is relevant. Otherwise, purge with fire. The CWCki is nobody's personal army. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 00:21, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***: Well why be so protective of a child molester? If someone plans to go that store or praise it as a result of the articles and confrontations between Snyder and Chris, why not let them know the facts about that store? The CWCki has tons of information regarding all the other institutions and establishments Chris has gone to. But I digress, this wiki isn't really meant to be taken seriously. After all, some of the articles like [[6_June_2010|this one]] are based on hearsay, conjecture, and a terrible misinterpretation of events. All of sudden, this all becomes srs bsns because the fact of a pedophile owning a store which children frequent is too much for you guys to handle. Take a chill pill. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 00:43, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::*Except that the article you pointed out relates to Chris and in a big way. It is relevant. Also, the 'owner' of the shop probably almost never actually visits the store, just managing it financially, so it really doesn't matter at all. It's irrelevant to begin with, and it certainly does not relate to Chris. For instance, officer [[Bagget]]. Are his exploits outside of Chris there? No, except one thing he did, showing he's been decorated for bravery while Chris demonizes him. Because, guess what, his other exploits '''don't relate to Chris'''. If you are serious about getting the word out, go to ED. They'd love that. We don't care. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 01:00, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Sounds pretty defensive in response to a small fact. Why not just let it be up there as opposed to creating a massive drama the size of Chris's asshole? Besides, why would anyone take this site seriously? The staff here is pretty laughable as they overreact to small shit and threaten to dox people. It's kinda cute in a way. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:10, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Judging by the number of accounts you've created and the number of vandalism attempts you made, I'd say you take this site far more seriously than any of us.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:14, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*You don't realize how fun this is. I guess to each his own. Try not to get so worked up over unimportant shit and get so defensive, you'll live longer. --[[User:Thoumad|Thoumad]] 01:23, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*I'm kind of new here so I don't know for sure, but would it be possible to protect the page? I'm sure if something needed adding to the article one of the admins could put it in. -- [[User:Lunachu|Lunachu]] 01:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**[[User:Lime|Lime]] suggested that on the talk page. I agree; we definitely need to lock the Game Place page.--[[User:Trombonista|trombonista]] 01:18, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*** I support establishing a lock. [[User:Griffintown|Griffintown]] 04:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
**** Me too. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 04:56, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
***** Lock that shit down.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 05:53, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
****** Plug that bitch with a maximum security vault door. --[[User:Eniggy|Eniggy]] 06:02, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
******* Don't forget the cement--[[User:Wintermute|Wintermute]] 07:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

== CWC Sighting ==

I don't care about being a name fag or being a field agent. I have followed the Chris trolling for a while, because who could resist reading about some guy who lived in the same city as you? Though I never would have expected to run into the elusive manchild, that is, until July 4th. Every year, McIntire Park shoots off fireworks for the July 4th. Many families come out to watch, despite the decline in quality each year due to money problems. So imagine my surprise when I see the internet sensation himself. I had to do a double take to make sure. No, he wasn't wearing anything outrageous like in Friday's After 5 footage. No Sonichu medallion. I guess he really has given up on Sonichu.

I didn't stalk him the entire time he was there, but kept tabs every once in a while. He spent a lot of time near the baseball field. At one point I noticed he pulled out his DSi, with something odd attached to the front of it. It looked like a zoom lense. But do they make zoom lenses for the DSi? I thought the camera quality was already shit. He seemed to use his DSi and what I think is the zoom lense looking at the people around here, presumably women, considering the creepy person he is. A little while later I noticed he had gotten up and started to walk, to where, I don't know. Then he stopped. Now, I don't know how to make of this...I saw him scribble on something, wrap it around what I think he picked up was a rock, and threw it at this woman. I don't think it hit her, but she seemed startled. She picked up whatever he threw, opened up the paper he had written on, looked at him, and shook his head. She then turned and went on her way.

At that point, I decided to leave it at that and go back to hanging out with my friends. I didn't see him after that point. I assume he decided to change where he was sitting or people were just blocking my view, because as it got darker it got incredibly more busy. (sorry, accidentally originally posted this on an archive page) [[User:Danny|Danny]] 01:48, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
*[http://www.pcworld.com/article/166121/the_dsi_gets_a_zoom_lens.html The DSi does come with a zoom lens], apparently. Could this be the same contraption he used to take photos at the GAMe PLACe? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 02:03, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
:Has Chris truly realized that Sonichu is creatively and financially worthless? --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 02:27, 9 July 2010 (UTC)
::Given his arrogance, probably not. He must figure that wearing the medallion must make him stick out like a sore thumb in public, and attract trolls. All changes are just from his very gradual realization that he'll have to make some cosmetic changes to attract the all elusive boyfriend-free girl. Chris is a lazy fuck, that's why he's not making comics, besides him disliking people pressuring him to actual do something, aswell as realizing his fandom is mainly nonexistent. He'll continue doing shit involving his 100% original Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon though, mainly because he gets pleasure from the power of absolute control over something. Chris's life is boring, so very boring. He can't play vidya forever. He will be back to Sonichu, and he will continue thinking it is a relevant and worthy piece of art. [[User:Ozymandias|Ozymandias]] 02:36, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Woah, I think we might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. I'd really, really like to believe this. The thought of chris throwing a note with "Want to fuck? Y/N" (or something similiar) is hilarious, and I'm not trying to call Danny a liar. But with any sort of proof... It's a bit hard to take on face value. --[[User:Jump|Jump]] 14:07, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: Wait, he's throwing rocks with messages attached to them to try to pick up women? It wouldn't surprise me, but I need more proof of this. This could be a bold new step in Chris's attraction sign usage (one that could actually injure someone). Are there any family photo albums of Mcintire park on July 4th? maybe we could find a picture of him in the crowd --[[User:SargentPickles|SargentPickles]] 14:12, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::: The rock throwing seems to be an improvised paper-heart-on-a-string. Still not working though. --[[User:Hellion|masta beta alum]] 20:32, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

:::::Am I cursed to see Chris everywhere now, shit. If anyone else noticed, he has some sort of paper sitting in between his legs... [http://i29.tinypic.com/esm0zk.png Picture1] [http://i28.tinypic.com/dndif9.png Picture2] [[User:Danny|Danny]] 23:42, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

::::::Thanks Danny. So she picked up the rock and looked at him, he shook his head (guessing it was a "yep, lets fuck" nod, and she just kept going? [[User:Mp83|Mp83]] 00:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)