User:Munch Banchibokkusu

2010-12-03T06:03:48Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: /* A song making fun of Chris */

[[Image:Munch.jpg|thumb|200px|Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer]]I am Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer. I look for connections in data. If you need something visualized, don't be afraid to ask.

Seriously, I do graphs and shih.

==A song making fun of Chris==

(Sung to the tune of the "Colonel Bogey March" aka "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" or "Comet Will Make You Vomit")

Chris-chan hasn't got any balls 
his voice sounds like they have ne-ver fallsed 
da B da da da da B 
da da da da C da da C da ''{word that ends in "alls"}''

User:Munch Banchibokkusu

2010-12-03T02:02:23Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: /* A song making fun of Chris */

[[Image:Munch.jpg|thumb|200px|Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer]]I am Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer. I look for connections in data. If you need something visualized, don't be afraid to ask.

Seriously, I do graphs and shih.

==A song making fun of Chris==

(Sung to the tune of the "Colonel Bogey March" aka "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" or "Comet Will Make You Vomit")

Chris-chan hasn't got any balls 
his voice sounds like they have ne-ver fallsed 
(insert third line here) 
And Rosechu's pickle is obvious to all

User:Munch Banchibokkusu

2010-12-02T17:04:24Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: If you have any suggestions, ring in on my talk page.

[[Image:Munch.jpg|thumb|200px|Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer]]I am Munch Banchibokkusu of Drunken Officer. I look for connections in data. If you need something visualized, don't be afraid to ask.

Seriously, I do graphs and shih.

==A song making fun of Chris==

(Sung to the tune of the "Colonel Bogey March" aka "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" or "Comet Will Make You Vomit")

Chris-chan hasn't got any balls 
his voice sounds like they have ne-ver fallsed 
(insert third line here) 
(insert fourth line here)

WeighIn

2010-10-28T20:24:23Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: /* Transcript */

'''WeighIn''' is a video [[Chris]] uploaded on 25 [[October 2010]], in which Chris, to the surprise of us all, steps on a scale to weigh himself. The scale gives a weight of 216 lb (15 st 6 lb / 98 kg). This weight marks him as [[obesity|obese]] for a man of his height (5'10", or 175cm).[http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi_scripts/bmi_udaim.pl?htf=5&hti=10&wt=216&scale=english&submit_e=Submit]

It is also revealed that Chris is wearing tape wrapped around the bridge of his [[Pedo-Glasses|glasses]]. The reason behind this is unknown.

== Video ==
{{Infobox/video
| name = WeighIn
| video = {{#ev:youtube|og-3s0n91Ys}}
| stardate = 25 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style =
| shirt = {{RedBlueShirt|text}}
| previous = [[DayOut#At_Least_My_Face_Is_Not_F3c7ing_Orange|At Least My Face Is Not F3c7ing Orange ]]
| next = [[FullHouse]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[File:Towelrack.jpg|thumb|One explanation why Chris weighs less than <s>220</s> 300lbs]]

Here is the official weigh-in on Sunday, September twenty- [[October 2010|October 24th 2010]].

[''Aims camera, jerkily, at scale readout.'']

If I can stay still long enough.

Hmmm.

Anyway it says 216.

[''Speaks into the camera again. His [[Glasses|glasses]] are now on his face and the bridge appears to be wrapped in tape.'']

Currently I'm 216 pounds.

{{videos}}
{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[DayOut]]|nextlink=[[FullHouse]]}}
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

YouTube

2010-09-15T04:38:13Z

Munch Banchibokkusu:

[[Image:Youtubehacked.jpg|thumb|Chris's original YouTube channel, after it was hacked.]]
[[Image:Happybday.jpg|thumb|[[Chris and his Ego|Chris commenting on a video thinking it was meant for him.]]]]

'''YouTube''' is the primary arena in the online world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], who has occasionally called it "the YouTube." Although his website may get hacked and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] might crash and [[110mb]] will suck balls, YouTube.com is always up and operational, and Chris is always producing new [[Captain's Log]] [[videos]] and reacting to the videos of his [[trolls|friends]] and [[trolls|enemies]].

For Chris, YouTube is not merely a way to post videos dedicated to his alleged adoring [[fanbase]] and issue broad condemnations of trolling; it is also a communication channel. Chris has posted several videos on his YouTube channel that he apparently believes will be only viewed by the people he addressed the videos to – and that they'll view the video even when they haven't been made aware of Chris's channel. He has addressed individual trolls, individual alleged fans, [[sweetheart]]s and especially former sweethearts, journalists<ref>[[10 September 2009]]</ref> and TV shows<ref>[[For G4s Web Soup]]</ref><ref>[[Cleveland Show Voice Rant]]</ref>, local business managers<ref>[[Apology to Game & Hobby Place]]</ref> and other people within driving distance of his house. As of [[2009]], Chris is wary of email and other text-based forms of communication, having been burned by alleged sweethearts who turned out to have [[pickle]]s. In order to satisfy his ever-inflating [[ego]], he searches videos labeled "Chris-chan".

There's a certain beauty to the way Chris's videos are displayed to the world: The videos he wants the world to see end up on YouTube. The videos he reconsiders and deletes also end up on YouTube. The videos he sends privately to trusted [[gal pal]]s end up on YouTube. The videos he makes depicting himself in the nude usually get taken down from YouTube, but that's what SlutLoad is for. A high priority among the internet bullies is to archive every video Chris has ever made, which is fairly challenging since Chris will often DELETE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING when he thinks he's embarrassed himself or left himself open to attack.

Luckily, [[Arjen Van Dierten]] archived them on his YouTube account for prosperity of future [[lulz]]. As he has retired from this duty, [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] (and several unrelated YouTubers) save Chris's video-encased faggotry for future generations.

==Video Quality (Or lack thereof)==

{{main|Chris and Camerawork}}

[[Image:camerawork1.png|thumb|left|C'mon! You can TOTALLY see his face!]]

When viewing one of Chris's videos, one of the first things the viewer will notice (besides the [[Obesity|morbidly obese]] manchild) is the '''excruciatingly''' poor quality of his video. One of his major flaws as a cameraman is lighting; any amateur cinematographer would know that if he's recording a video indoors, he would turn the lights on, but Chris refuses to adhere to this basic rule. As a result, almost all videos recorded indoors have a sickly greenish-yellow tinge to them. Also, due to this, almost every video suffers from blurriness thanks to the lack of proper lighting.

Whenever Chris is recording, he seems to fail to grasp the basic object of "focus"; to make sure that the camera is appropriately trained on whatever it is he is trying to film. As such, whenever he is filming, he is often way out of center. It also doesn't help that he often adjusts the camera angle without regards to what his audience will see, which means that [[Fail|you can't even see what it is he's filming.]] For a very good example, when Chris was gloating about [[Secret Weapon|the picture of Clyde Cash]] he had found online, he was holding it far too close to the camera's lens, so that you never really do get to look at the picture as a whole.

Chris also seems to lack any basic video editing skills, be it pre or post production. Whenever he needs to put text in a video, he chooses to write it down on a piece of paper and record it with his camera. Almost any basic video editing software, even [[Wikipedia:Windows Movie Maker|Windows Movie Maker]], has an option to display computer-generated text within the video. In the occasions that he needs to insert a TV clip, such as in [[Some Favored Comedians]], he opts to record directly from the TV screen, even though it would be far more prudent to insert the clips in via editing. It's not too hard to download TV clips online.

What makes this all pathetic is that [[Common_Questions#15_January_2010|Chris chooses to blame these flaws on his equipment]], when anyone as devoted to video blogging as himself would choose a far superior and more devoted option than the [[PSEye]] camera, and buy the basic essentials such as a tripod, as well as some decent video editing software such as [[Wikipedia:Sony Vegas|Sony Vegas]]. But that would leave him without money to spend on [[Sex toys|other things.]] [[Monthly tugboat|Your tax dollars at work, people!]]

==Chris's YouTube accounts==

===Sonichu ([[May 2007]] - [[September 2008]])===

Chris's ORIGINAL and OFFICIAL YouTube account was [http://www.youtube.com/user/Sonichu Sonichu], created on 08 May 2007. The account originally served to host the trailer for his [[DVD]], his [[Future Message]], and the clips of himself on the evening news.

Following his discovery of the ED page in [[November 2007]], Chris began using the account to post videos arguing against ED's [[Laughs Under Lucricities]], and by [[August 2008]] it had become the base of operations for his war against all of ED. The Sonichu account was hacked during a massive ED counteroffensive on September 11; Chris deleted the account, apparently hoping to escape from the trolls under a new username.

===[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChan6789 CChan6789] ([[September 2008]] - [[March 2009]])===

Chris created CChan6789 on 18 September 2008, and abandoned it on 30 March 2009. This account saw many of the most famous and classic Chris-chan moments, including him [[Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008|crashing into slumber]] and [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|raging at Clyde Cash for the first time]]. Amazingly, CChan6789 remains open with several videos still intact. According to his [[Jackie e-mails|talks with Jackie]], the only reason this account was lost was because Chris lost his password and he was too dim to realize that there's a ''password recovery'' function.

===CChanSonichu ([[April 2009]] - [[July 2009]])===

Although Chris abandoned CChan6789 with the intent of preventing the trolls from having new footage to mock him with, Chris returned with [http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichu CChanSonichu] on 09 April 2009. This account saw even more classic Chris moments, such as him [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 28th, 2009|admitting to drinking his jizz]]. The account was hacked on 05 June 2009, although Chris subsequently regained access and posted [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting and threatening videos]] which caused the account to be suspended on 11 July.

===[[IBAChandler]] ([[July 2009]] - [[August 2009]])===

Rather than attempt to reactivate CChanSonichu or simply reuse CChan6789, Chris immediately created [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAChandler IBAChandler] on 11 July 2009. This new username confused many faggots, requiring Chris to slowly explain thousands of times that "IBAChandler" is a pun meaning "I be a Chandler," as in "I, Christian, am one of the Chandlers."

Chris's initial use of the IBAChandler account was to post [[Rollin' and Trollin'|a video with his new look]], claiming he was and had always been a troll posing as an autistic manchild. This resulted in the narrative that the owner of IBAChandler was an impostor named [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], and that [[CChanSonichuCWC]] was in fact the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler.

===[http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler ChristianWChandler] ([[August 2009]] - present)===

To dispel the claims he's Ian Brandon Anderson, Chris made a new account, [http://www.youtube.com/user/ChristianWChandler ChristianWChandler], which makes it clear (or so he believes) that he is Christian Weston Chandler.

Of course, that's what Ian Brandon Anderson would have you think.

===[http://www.youtube.com/user/ClydeGreggCashMays ClydeGreggCashMays] ([[October 2009]] - [[November 2009]]) ===

Apparently very vaguely aware that YouTube accounts that are used for blackmailing people tend to get shut down, Chris created this account to post his blackmail videos of Clyde Cash, so that in the unlikely event of YouTube noticing his repulsive activities, his main account won't get shut down.

It is very possible that YouTube terms of service don't work this way. But what do we know? We've only read the terms of service, not Chris's mind.

==See also==
*[[Chris and Camerawork]]
*[[List of videos]]
*[[Captain's Log]]
*[[PSEye]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCWCvilleLibrary The CWCville Library]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/vivitheg Vivian's home of the audiobooks]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC The real Christian Weston Chandler's YT account]

[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Websites]]

SingStar Challenge Round 3

2010-09-12T19:08:19Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113258 by Level1isbest (talk)

The '''third round''' of the [[SingStar Challenge]] had [[IBAChandler]] singing "Autumn Goodbye" by [[Britney Spears]] versus [[CChanSonichuCWC]] singing "Heaven" by Bryan Adams.

==IBAChandler's Entry==
{{Infobox/video
| name = "Autumn Goodbye"
| image = {{#ev:youtube|lsT8DFw1UtI}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 03 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = {{Music}} [[Music]]
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{GreenWhiteShirt}} Green & White
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_2#IBAChandler's Entry| "Don't Say You Love Me"]]
| next = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_2#IBAChandler's Bonus Video| Yearbooks]]
}}
For his third song, IBAChandler does Britney Spears' "Autumn Goodbye".

====Transcript====
You think you're so tough, jumping in on the last minute, huh? Well, it won't be so easy next time, I'll tell you what. But anyway, now for the next track. Here's a favorite I love to play in- when I can play it in the [[PS3|Playstation 3]] games are ''Pain'' and ''Burnout Paradise''. Take it away, miss Britney Spears.

[Sings "Autumn Goodbye"]

Stay tuned for a bonus feature, for the impostor in brown...

==IBAChandler's Bonus Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Yearbooks
| image = {{#ev:youtube|yKp6ziMDlns}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 03 August 2009
| Maker = [[Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Rumours.png]] Rumors
| Saga = [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]]
| previous = [[SingStar_Challenge_Round_3#IBAChandler's Entry| "Autumn Goodbye"]]
| next = [[Captain%27s_Log,_Stardate_August_3rd,_2009#Video| C.W.C. - Thank You :)]]
}}

===Transcript===
Before I give it off again, let me go through a brief bit of history. Some of my yearbooks... Now it's [[1995]], in Providence Middle, let's look it up. Hmm... Christian Chandler, oh, all the way, over here. [Gets to the penultimate row of photos, his face being the first] So many memories... Oh look, some of the faculty, some of the faculty... very good. Now, let's see if we can find my favorite faculty member in this book... my favorite teacher... who gave me so much in-spir-ation... so much inspiration... ah, here we are. Remembering you is easy...

Now, 1996, let's take a look in here. Ah, ocho grado [Eight grade (Should be octavo grado)]... ah, yeah. Here I am! Right there. Christian Chandler. Mmm. In there. And now we go back to high school. 1997, ah, my freshmen year, my freshmen year... now, let's b's... b, b, c, d, e, f, g... ah, here we are. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four. Who's that handsome fella? Oh, and I think there's a little bonus feature in here that I definitely can recall from a good time. A good time, a good time. Ah, just give me a moment.

[Video jumps]

Okay, I found the page. Same book. here's a groupa-picture- here's a group. And in row one, on the bottom... ah, I can't make it out with the camera, but that's me right there. Varsity basketball team, my freshmen year. [[Joseph Herring]] on one end there. Good ole Joe... Mmm, let's see, 1998 book. I would be a sophomore this year... Speaking of which, have you taken a good look at that impostor? He is so sophomoric, he's gotta be like thirteen or sixteen. Ch- check his real ID, police people? Please? [mumbles] Sophomore. At this time, I would have been sophomoric, by way back then... here I am, right there on the end.

Next book. 1999! Manchester high school, still. Ahhh, the junior year. Ahhh, let's see, junior... Ah yes, here we are. One two three four. Here I am! [points at a picture of a long haired girl]

[Video jumps]

Onetwothreefour. There I am. [Points at his picture this time] Aaand... SENIOR YEAR! Señor... I turned eighteen in the year 2000, and let's see how good I looked... I looked GREAT. Handsome little fellow. Handsome eighteen year old. Back in the year of 2000! Graduated with my class, class of Y-2-K! Tiffany, thank you for that dance at senior prom, I will pay you at our reunion. Now, I have a new question to put forth to the man in brown. If you have your books, you may show them, whether they be counterfeit or not, you'll just be nailing another nail on your coffin for the real police to find!

But anyway, something about your mother and your father. What are their jobs? What are their occupations? Tell me the details, in a separate video, when you do your third song. [Points at camera] Your play!

==CChanSonichuCWC's Entry==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = "Heaven"
| video = {{#ev:youtube|eww76FpmkT0}}
| Stardate = 03 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Music.png]] Music
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 2#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|SingStar Challenge: "Fresh Prince of CWCville (Bel Air)" by Woll Smoth ]]
| next = [[SingStar Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Bonus Video|Challenge Video BONUS: #3. C.W.C. IMPOSTOR is Revealed, And TRUE and ORIGINAL Parents Discussed. ]]
}}

===Transcript===
[inhales] Mmm. Hello again, impostor. Impostor Christian Weston Chandler. Well, mmm, got nothing much to say to you, except I hope you like my next song, that I dedicated to my sweetheart, [[Kacey]]. Kacey will always be my true sweetheart, because she is honest, and caring and loyal. Enjoy.

[sings "Heaven"]

Your turn, impostor! Your play!

==CChanSonichuCWC's Bonus Video==
{{Infobox/Liquid
| name = C.W.C. Impostor is REVEALED (True & Original Parents Discussed)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|Yjt2S8FV4Sk}}
| Stardate = 03 August 2009
| Maker = [[Liquid Chris]]
| Subject Matter = [[Image:Rumours.png]] Rumors
| Shirt = [[Image:Brownstripeshirt.png]] Brown
| previous = [[SingStar Challenge Round 3#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|TRUE C.W.C SingStar Challenge #3 Song: Heaven, Bryan Adams ]]
| next = [[SingStar Challenge Round 4#CChanSonichuCWC's Entry|C.W.C. SingStar #4: Think Twice, Eve 6 **ALSO SONG #5 CHOICE**]]
}}

===Transcript===
Captain's Log, Stardate: Monday, August 3rd, 2009. [pause] My mother is Barbara Ann Chandler, born October 1st, 1941. She was a secretary for a good many years, and retired in 1998. And, sh-- and my father said that she looked just like Liz Taylor when she was young... [sighs] I wanna say that, uh, yeah, uh, my, my father is Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr., hmm, born, uh, on the, on the 4th of September, 1928, he worked at General Electric and has seven patents. Hmm. Uh, you shouldn't be, shouldn't be making me do this, I mean, this has relatively nothing to do with the singing competition whatsoever. Hmm... but I'll just keep continue to do it anyway. Hmm. Uh, my mother met my father at a bar, my mother used to work as secretary at Virginia Power. She retired, and, uh, took up music... and, uh, you know, that means that the Pokémon Flute that I bought her just recently will come in handy. Hmm. And, uh, you know, my, uh, my father was drafted in World-- in, uh, he, uh, he went to Korea, he-- before it was split into two nations, and, uh, he went to college on the G.I. Bill. He studied Pre-Engineering and moved on to Auburn University to, to earn his engineering degree. Hmm. He, uh, worked at Western Electric, and, uh, and got the offer from General Electric, uh... but anyway, he has made many patents including these.

[Montage of sites showing patents made by Chris's father. On the final page, Chris moves the camera close to the screen, emphasizing the words "Chandler et al."]

But anyway, uh, he is so smart that he is on Google. Yeah--[jump cut] So, he is now retired, and [[Bob Walks In|chops down wood]] in his spare time. [voice breaks] I bet you, impostor, you don't even appreciate your parents. So there, [dramatic glasses removal] you ''troll!'' [puts glasses back on] And now for something completely different: I have confirmed the true name of the slanderous impostor, and it, his real name is [extends a finger for each initial] I.B.A. [gestures into camera] ''Ian Brandon Anderson''. And a big, and a big detail you, you may, you may have, you might have not, uh, overlooked: [holds up a picture of Chris in his [[butt garments]]] I have your mugshot. [mocking the [[Secret Weapon]] video] I can't even stand to ''look'' at it! Look at those double-D cups! You're a ''FREAK!'' Ha ha ha ha, ''HAAAA!!'' I scoff at you, you ugly freak! [slams the picture down] And to his latest video saying that he's true, because he got trolled by figures such as [[Clyde Cash]], I got trolled by Clyde Cash, just not last week. That didn't prove anything, and you are ''still'' a coward, for trying to make this contest less important than it already is. Whoever wins, in the, is the true Christian Weston Chandler. The end! No dots about it! [gives peace sign] Peace. Have a good day.

 
{{succession|label=[[Liquid Chris|CWCivil War!]]|prevlink=[[CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009]]|nextlink=[[SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE]]|}}
{{SingStarChallenge}}
{{Music Videos}}

[[Category:SingStar Challenge]]

2006

2010-09-12T19:06:51Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113235 by Level1isbest (talk)

__NOEDITSECTION__
[[Image:0793-CWCIs24-2.jpg|thumb|Chris in '''2006'''.]]
[[Image:113-CWCJam061.jpg|thumb|Christian as he saw himself in '''2006'''.]]
[[Image:114-CWCJam062.jpg|thumb|The [[Love Quest]] takes its toll...]]
[[Image:Etc_ebay_bid.PNG|thumb|Overview of Chris's [[eBay]] purchases during the first half of '''2006'''.]]
[[Image:08-Camo-Flage.jpg|thumb|A [[My Little Pony]] drawn by [[Megan]].]]
[[Image:0714-PVCCCaddDeg2.jpg|thumb|On '''12 May 2006''', Chris finally gets his degree.]]
[[Image:0719-PattisDoghouse.JPG|thumb|On '''27 June 2006''', [[Patti]] dies.]]

The year '''2006''' shows several important developments within [[Christian Weston Chandler]]'s behavior that are now seen as typical.

Firstly, Christian starts to get more and more clingy towards [[Megan]]. Via e-mail, she repeatedly tells him off, but to no avail.

Secondly, he starts engaging to large extent in the conspicuous consumption that would eventually get him into a significant amount of [[Chris and money|debt]]. For the first time, Chris starts buying pornography, [[sex toys]], [[My Little Pony]]s, and other seemingly childish and useless objects from sites like [[eBay]] and AdamandEve.com. Although Christian is unemployed and no longer in school for most of the year, he still has a limited social life. He mostly goes out to engage in [[card game]]-related activities.

In 2006, [[Barbara]] apparently asks Chris to stop drawing the [[Sonichu]] sub-episodes. Therefore, after [[Sonichu 4]], no more [[sub-episodes]] come out.

==Events of 2006==

===February===
* February 19 - First [[Sex toys|porn]] purchase from [[eBay]].
* February 24 - Chris turns 24.

===April===
* April 22 - [[Megan]] finds out Christian bought her a Nintendo DS.
* April 29 - Christian draws ''[[Sonichu 5|Sonichu #5]]''.

===May===
* May 1 - Megan gets Christian to buy her Nazi pictures from eBay. She admits that she is attracted to Wehrmacht soldiers.
* May 6 - Christian wants to meet Megan in the park, but she doesn't show up. He [[Donald Duck impersonation|talks with the ducks]].
* May 12 - Christian finally gets his [[CADD degrees]] from [[PVCC]].
* May 22 - Megan tells Chris that she doesn't want a relationship. Saddened, he makes a CD entitled "CWC's Mix Jams '06: Story of My Quest, Part 1" and also "Part 2".{{cite}}

===June===
* June 25 - Megan tells Christian to back off. She says she was once refused by a boy she liked, and doesn't care for love.
* June 27 - Christian's dog, [[Patti]], dies.

===July===
* July 4 - Christian draws ''[[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]]''.
* July 15 - Megan tells Christian that she is getting tired of him copying her hobbies.
* July 26 - First [[My Little Pony]] purchase from eBay.

===September===
* September 16 - Chris buys a Booty-licious Love Doll. (It's an ass-lovers dream come true.)
* September 18 - ''[[Pokémon]] Diamond'' and ''Pearl'' is released.

===August===
* August 3 - Christian finds out Megan has a crush on a soldier. He is devastated.
* August 7 - Megan tells Christian she doesn't like his attitude against men.
* August 14 - Christian revises [[Story of My Current Days]], and adds information about his most recent exploits.
* August 27 - With nothing to do, Chris fakeposts on his guestbook AGAIN, saying that he wants to send a message to every [[Charlottesville]] girl that doesn't want him on Myspace, and tell them to "get off their behind" and date him.

===November===
* November 28 - Christian shoots his [[Pixelated PS3]] video for Adult Swim.

===December===
* December 25 - Chis gives up on Santa because he, after being asked for three consecutive years, still hasn't brought Chris a woman to be his. (Strangely, Chris also states to have stopped believing in Santa at the age of 15 all ready...)

{{Timeline}}

[[Category:Chronology]]

Sweetbolt

2010-09-12T19:06:33Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113236 by Level1isbest (talk)

[[Image:sweetbolt.jpg|right|thumb||What's wrong? More than you can possibly imagine.]]

'''Sweetbolt''' is a term of endearment coined by [[Chris]] and primarily used by his "electric hedgehog" characters. Obviously, he considers it a clever play on the more familiar "[[sweetheart]]." The spelling of the word is somewhat fluid – Chris variously spells it "SweetBolt," "Sweet bolt," or "Sweet-bolt." He also uses a less common variation on occasion, "honey-bolt," as well as more elaborate flights of romantic invention, like "my blossoming zapbud."

"Sweetbolt" sounds awfully strange even in the context of Chris's comics, as when [[Rosechu]] refers to [[Sonichu]] as her sweetbolt. However, it sounds an order of magnitude more bizarre when Chris uses it to describe himself:

{{quote|I understand, and I will NEVER put it against you. Yes, as your SweetBolt. :)|[[Chris]], to [[PandaHalo]], concerning her rape at the hands of [[Clyde Cash]]}}
{{stub}}

{{CWC-isms}}
[[Category:CWC-isms]]

Sex toys

2010-09-12T19:06:22Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113237 by Level1isbest (talk)

{{Honest}}

{{taxpayermoney}}

[[Chris]] owns several '''sex toys''', including a vibrator and anal beads.

Although he bought his first toys at a Spencer's Gifts storefront, his provider of choice is [[Wikipedia:Adam & Eve (business)|AdamEve.com]]. Chris claimed to the [[Sonichu Girls|TRUE and LOYAL Sonichu fanbase]] that most of the toys he owns were sent by the online sex shop as gifts. However, considering the fact that AdamEve.com usually allows customers to choose gifts, and if they are indeed random gifts, what they are depends on the [[homos|content of the purchase]] (not to mention Chris never bothering to dispose of or even complain about them; there is likely more to it than there appears).

Chris has also visited [[Charlottesville]] sex shop [[IRC (26 November 2008)|Ultimate Bliss]], where he bought a chocolate-flavored condom in hopes of using it for his first time having sex with [[PandaHalo]]. In the aftermath of her untimely death in the Australian brushfires, it's not known what became of the condom, or whether Chris has found a way to get himself banned from the store as he has so many other local retailers.

When asked about his visit to the brick and mortar sex store in the [[Mailbag|CWCipedia Mailbag]], Chris responded with a short answer before placing the email in the rejected bin:

{{Quote|I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts. | Chris, [[Rejected Mailbag|recommending STRAIGHT sex toys for STRAIGHT men]]}}

==List of known sex toys==
[[Image:VelvetTouchMasturbator.jpg|thumb|right|"...a velvety smooth squeeze that your [[duck|erection]] will crave again and again!"]]
* Penis pump
* Vibrator ([[Captain's Log, Stardate February 6th, 2009|possibly KIA]])
* Three sex dolls including [[Officer Nasty]], [[Kimmi]], and the not-yet-seen [http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/love-dolls/sp-booty-licious-love-doll-4085.aspx Booty Licious Love Doll]. Chris may be too embarrassed to acknowledge the last one, for she is [[Niggos|black]]. His order records show that he has purchased at least three Officer Nasty dolls, suggesting that they don't survive too long underneath him; he stated in a chat with [[Vanessa]] that "After a while of putting [[Obesity|my weight]] carefully on them in the artificial intercourse, they each would have a hole punctured on the inside from my weight, which was irrepairable."
* Anal beads – Chris used these once. Describing the experience during a [[BlueSpike_PSN_Chat_3|PSN chat]], he explained that they became "covered in poo," and he threw them away.
* Dildo – Gift that went along with a purchase. Chris put a condom on it and stuck it up his ass.<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3]]</ref>
* Two different penis rings (Pearl Beaded Prolong Ring and Silicone Superstud Power Ring)
* Velvet Touch Masturbator
* A&E Hot Action Lotion

==Gallery of sex toy purchases==

<center><gallery>
Image:Adameve 06-09-16.PNG|
Image:Adameve 06-9-17.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-03-10.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-07-07.PNG|
Image:Adameve 07-12-26.PNG|Where Chris buys Kimmi.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Comeuppance]]
*[[Kimmi]]
*[[List of Chris's Adam & Eve purchases]]
*[[Officer Nasty]]
*[[Vibrator destruction video]]
*[[Plush Breasts]]

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://loltheinterwebs.googlepages.com/chriswishlist.pdf Chris's wishlist on AdamEve.com]
*[http://megaupload.com/?d=18NA6ERG Chris fucking a sex doll]

[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]]

Chris Sex Logs

2010-09-12T19:05:57Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113238 by Level1isbest (talk)

In [[September 2008]], [[PandaHalo]] released Skype chats with her and Chris discussing [[honest]] topics like [[sex]], [[mass debating]], and the then forthcoming [[Sonichu 9]].

==I am insane==
[[Image:Chris-IAmRandomHousecoat.PNG|200px|thumb|"I got this housecoat from, uh, Goodwill... I am wearing nothing underneath it."]]
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
===Two Front Teeth===
'''1. "Two Front Teeth" 0:25''' ''CWC sings "My Two Front Teeth" in a squeaky voice, then informs the listener that the original song contains a whistle.''

===THE POWER OF THE SUN===
'''2. "THE POWER OF THE SUN" 1:09''' I'm in my house now [''rustling noises''] uhh...this was written, I got this housecoat from, uh, from Goodwill. 'Cause, you know, my old one had, like, some holes in it. It was becoming a little bit tattered in ways, but I mean, besides, this one's more comfortable anyway. Dang it, froze up again. Uh, give it a moment, it'll fix itself. Oh, the freeze! The freeze! The POWER OF THE SUN WARM YOU AND UNFREEZE YOU! Well, there it goes. Eh, there it goes again. C'mon! Uh, the POWER OF THE SUN UNFREEZE YOU!

===The Holy Coat===
'''3. "The Holy Coat" 0:07''' [''unintelligible mumbling''] ...the holy coat. I am not [[GodJesus#Concept_of_God_.28or:_GodJesus.29|the Lord Jesus Christ!]] Daaaaa.
</div>

==I am perverted==

===Chris on Masturbation and the Sex Joke===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''1. CWC, pervert: 5:29''' What, [[mass debating|masturbate]]? Uh, well, now just to let you know we have the trust between each other, and I can tell you are who you are through your voice, and you can tell who I am through my voice, and you just saw me over the webcam, I s'pose I can tell you, uh, have you ever seen a picture of, uh, a man's penis? Yeah, I had to take sex ed class too. But, you know, on a side note? You know what should be taught as well in addition to what sex is? Dating edu-.. [[Dating education]].

Ah, hang on a second. Hey pop, what are you doing? Um, okay, [''unintelligible''], could be a prank call. That was my [[Bob Chandler|father]], checking to see [''unintelligible''].

W-whah-what are you giggling about? It sounds like you're giggling. Well, you were asking me about how I masturbate, there, uh, so yeah. Basically, uh, well, it could go either way, whether I turn on some porn, to get myself straight or not, uh, an erection, get stiff or not, I mean that's one way of doing it, use porn. But uh also, if I've also I've, if I'm- if I.. on breaks- if I wasn't watching porn or, uh, don't feel like watching it at the time, I would go like to the bathroom sink and I can start, uh, by washing my hands and then with the soap and water just basically start by touching the, uh, end of my [hesitation] dick and just, like you know well it feels good for me, feels good I mean when I touch the edge of my dick. Well, actually, the way I see it, it's okay because you're relieving yourself of your stress from your basic instincts and your body. It's just - it's just good tension relief. The way I see it, so it's all right. The way I see - the way I see it for uh, gir- for uh, women - it's easier, it's better on them because, uh you know, they d-d... I mean, alright, but when a guy does it, they're releasing semen and the DNA that goes to the eggs, but when women do it, it's just, you know, they're releasing their juices, that basically, you know, makes it easier for the man to enter the vagina. So you could do it, and you wouldn't, you know, risk losing an egg from your ovaries.

Well, anyway, to get back to me, so yeah basically, I just massage mysel- I just massage myself down there and then, uh, and then, uh and then it gets more erect and uh, you know, it's still wet but I go back to my bed and uh, lie down, on the bed, and uh like you know I just massage it, I just massage it up and down with, like, you know, one of my hands or both of them at the same time depending on the random moment...do you have somebody else in the room with you? Yeah alright. So yeah anyway, well, pump it down with one or both of my hands at the moment until I feel, until I feel the sensation... where I feel I'm about to lose it, and then it all, it all just the stuff, yeah, yeah, some of my semen comes out. I don't - I don't like to make a mess, so I-... so I-- when I come I have a [[fapcup|clean plastic cup]] by my side and I just make sure to put all of my semen in the cup there. Yeah. Well, if you want me to, I could describe how masturbation works for a woman, because I've seen it through my share of the pornography and hentai [[anime]] I have. Alright well, basically, it's the same, you could put one hand down there and take the other hand to massage one or both of your breasts at the same time.. I can't believe we're talkin' about this, well also we trust each other very much and we have good trust for each other for talking over the mikes, like, nobody can hear or record our conversation over the mikes like they could...at this point it's bet- it's between us. Uh yeah. Well you see I've confidentially told my mom about my actions as well, I mean, she's cool - I mean, she's cool with it. I mean, you could try it yourself tonight 'cause I know it's like twelve-thirty over there on Saturday afternoon. So we've got, like, a husband and wife, we'll call them, like, Dick and Jane, right? Okay, so anyway, he's coming home from work and uh, and he's coming into the house and uh, his wife Jane meets him at the door and she says, oh, hi honey, how was your day? and he says, eh, it's been a rough day sweetheart, uhhh, I'm just tired, [''wife voice''] I'll tell you what, we can go upstairs and have breakfast, and he says, Breakfast? at 9pm? And she says, sure! You bring the milk and I'll get the eggs!
</div>

===What I've learned from porn, #1===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''2. What I have learned from porn #1:''' 1:41 Films I have seen? I've learned, like you know, even though you've seen the husband seemingly betraying their wives to go to like uh, nightclub? Strip club? They're just trying to get their erections back up so they can go home and be ready for their wives. Because they, uh, they lose erections around their wives at that point. So you know, believe it or not, even though the husband might seem to be betraying their wife by going to a strip club, they're not. They're just trying to get their dick on so they can get their move on when they get home. Yes, they're not cheating. I mean they would only be cheating if they were actually doing it with another woman without their wife's consent. I wish I could say I have but I haven't - I've only seen them on television or in the movies. Yes, I'm fairly innocent myself, but as I've revealed of myself, I see the down and dirty. Maybe you'll get down and dirty tonight with yourself.

===What I've learned from porn, #2===
'''3. What I learned from porn #2: 2:44''' Oh by the way you know, if you don't- if you get tired, you know you don't have to use, you know 'cause I mean I have seen through the pornography about how women masturbate, they mostly use like their index fingers, or some use all their fingers or like if they can reach they might fit their index and middle...[''laughing, unintelligible''] oh, you make me laugh! Oh, you make me laugh, that's so funny! Oooh. You're a quick wit, a quick wit! Right, so anyway, most of the time, if they can get their middle fingers into their vaginal entry, for pleasuring themselves, they'll sometimes, if they can reach, they might put all of their fingers in there or if it fits their whole hand? I've seen that happen, I've seen that happen, their whole hand. Yeah. I never really understood how a tampon works. Not mine, cause I have a dick! Huh huh huh, but please continue. Ah. That's interesting. Very interesting. But when you masturbate, you don't have to have your tampon in there. You could do it before you put your next tampon in. Or just when you don't have it in there. Well, then I guess you're safe. You're very safe.

===Masturbation - it's AWWWRIGHT===
'''4. Masturbation/ IT'S AWWWWRIGHT: 0:22''' You know another thing I should mention that like you know another reason why masturbation is all right is because you're not risking anybody else or getting a sexual disease. And just to let you know, if you are a virgin before you've started, and you haven't done anything with anyone else, you're still classified as a virgin.

===Me and my sex doll===
'''5. Me and my sex doll #1: 1:55''' It well, also works that way if you're doing it with, uh, if you get yourself, what they call, uh, um, a sex or love doll? They're these inflatable dolls, that inflate to look like the form of a naked man or a woman, of course as a man I do have sex dolls of, uh, naked women, I do, I mean, I'm willing to admit that, so anyway, yeah, basically, you do the sex doll of the opposite gender like you would, but you're still classified as a virgin because there's no DNA exchanged because the thing is just a hunk of plastic. Yeah, basically most of the time they're motionless, so, for me I would just put my dick in the vaginal entry and I would just pump and I would just pump it. You know, like a dummy, pretend person, basically, yes. You know I mean, so I could put her on the bed and just get on top of her, or I could like have myself lying on my back and uh I could just move her, I could just move the body up and down, or like you know I could even try as many of the defined sexual positions as possible for practice with the doll! Of course from your point - of course from your point of view you would get yourself a male sex doll and you would put yourself on its fake penis. Yeah it is...well, that's good for you, that's good for you.

===What I've learned from porn, #3===
'''6. What I learned from porn #3 1:12''' But anyway as I was saying you know, just as you know, when you masturbate, you don't have to use your fingers, you could like, uh, find something that's like, you could use like a banana, or a [[pickle]], I mean, it would be a waste of a fruit, but if you used a banana, you could still eat the insides. Eh, I said a pickle. Or a cucumber, a cucumber would work as well. But, uh, the thing I would, I would recommend for you, if you don't want to waste a fruit or a vegetable, yeah, well, it's all right. Not too many men are picky about how tight it is, I mean like you know, if you end up going, "Oooh, that's so TIGHT. You make me feel so good just to put it in there!" Yeah, but they're not going to be too picky about how tight it is.

===You should buy a dildo!===
'''7. You should buy a dildo! 2:10''' But anyways so like you know, there's an alternative to your fingers or the fruit or vegetable. If girls like, you go out and find like an adult store and get what's called a dih-do [''he pronounces 'dildo' all weird'']. It's particularly, it's typically like a hunk of plastic molded in the form, the shape like the shape like an average-size, uh... penis, but you know it's not necessarily like, penis shaped, like some like some dildos are. I have actually looked it up, it's like 5 6 or 7 inches, and what I've seen for you know, the plastic dildos, they're like 5 to 7 inches themselves. But anyway, you don't necessarily have to get one that's actually penis-shaped, you can get one that's basically vertical. Hm, you'd like a dolphin-shaped one, wouldn't you? Eh, yeah I guess they might make them in that form, they have some available, like at this website you can check them out over there. Hey, as long as you're adult it's all right, it's all right. You don't have to be ashamed. If something offends you in the store, you can just look away, it's no big deal. Yeah, we actually have a local one over here in [[Charlottesville]], it's called, uh it's called Bliss, I think it is. And of course there's also a store called Spencers, I think it's called Spencers over in the shopping mall, they sell sex toys there as well.

===Me and my sex doll, #2===
'''8. Me and my sex doll #2: 3:57''' I had that thought myself, but then again, I don't really do any - know people around town myself, yeah, I have, otherwise I wouldn't have told you about the sex doll. LOL girlfriend, LOL. [''Yes, he actually says LOL''] They have, uh, you know yeah, okay, hang on, I turn on my webcam, also you know some models have an opening in their mouth but this one doesn't that I could like, that I could put my dick into. Yes, just for the fun of it, I mean, it's wet in the mouth, some people do it because it feels good, I mean between man and woman, man and woman, man puts in it in the woman's mouth. And also, you know, here's an interesting fact, I've learned from the adult website, from the website quoted on Adam&Eve dot com, male semen is, eh, healthy for women, there's like random, there's like things I can't describe especially good for women and the flavor can change depending on what the man eats. Yeah, same applies for the woman's pussy juices, it's called. I think so, yeah. Or if I ate a whole lot of apples and strawberries, it would come out like apple or strawberry flavored. We'll find out soon enough, man, I left a button undone, there's the vaginal opening. That's one thing I can do, you like that? Pretend that's YOUR vagina and I did that to you, doesn't that feel so good? Anyway, in addition to that, it has an optional opening in the mouth, it also has like a, ARSEHOLE. Heh, yeah, but it doesn't poop. Actually, you know, some people like between a man and a woman, the man, the woman finds pleasure in the man putting his penis inside the woman's a-hole, asshole. And the skirt went upside down. No, a guy can do it with a woman, do it with a woman, 'cause, you know, the man and woman are both straight. I mean come on. I never heard that. I figure it would be on, it would be on the scrotum area of my penis. I'm going to put this away, I'll be right back.

[[Image:Chris-ThisIsMyDildo.PNG|200px|thumb|"You can use this and put it up your buuuuttt and it will feel good."]]
===This is my dildo===
'''9. This is my dildo: 4:24''' Oh, yeah, I got this, it's uh, uh, I forget what the word was, it was the tip of the, the tip of the penis, I actually uh, the scrotum, the scroutum [''That's his pronunciation, not a typo'']is actually the area where the balls were. So I used, I used the wrong word there. So anyway, I got something else I can show you, so I can explain, what, uh, a dildo is for you cause you know when you order something from Adam&Eve dot com they usually give you free DVDs or free gifts, with that, well anyway, they sent me one so I just held onto it, it's one dildo. They mostly come in this shape, in jelly form or in hard plastic. No, it's light reflecting off it. Anyway, you can use this and put it up your buuuutttt and it will feel good. [''his voice here will echo in my nightmares''] I told you I got it as a free gift I did not use it, I just only have one. I guess I could give it to you since you are my sweetheart, you know? Hey, from they way I talk, the way I talk when I talk to you and the pictures I've seen so far, I'd like to meet you as well. Ahhh. Yeah, actually, you know, I did try that once with a different one, a different one I got for free as well? It did not, it did not turn me on. [''Yeah, CWC, we believe you.''] It, it, it I'd imagine from what I heard. You don't have to worry about me. I won't, I would not judge you. I swear. I would not judge you! I mean, look at how serious I am. I would not judge you. [''I wonder what she said to fluster him.''] Well anyway let's say say we get back to the dildo sort of talk [''nervous laugh''] yeah anyway, well most of them are just a hunk of plastic, but some of them, like this one, they can run, they can run on a pair of AA batteries or another size, another size like that, I put a pair in this one just to try it out, I didn't take them out, well like you know, you can turn this one, you can turn this one on and off, by unscrewing, and screwing it completely, and when you've got it screwed on, it vibrates. You hear that? That's it vibrating. Yeah, just imagine having this up your vagina, and uh, it vibrating. Doesn't that feel good. I have have this one, I have this one, this one tucked away in a drawer. So, you know, nobody's going to find it unless I show it to them, or unless they look in my drawer, you know? Besides I don't have too many people come to [[14 Branchland Court|the house]] often. Not too many people.

===Condoms===
'''10: Condoms 2:20''' Well, I guess you'd want to see it. Nuh, actually, you know what? Actually, I have, I have like a bunch of condoms, that expire like [[2010]], which I've been saving for uh, for uh my first time, or uh, you know, the ones after, the ones after that. Ehey, you know, as long as uh, anyway, you know, I like uh, be safe or sorry [''Probably meant "Better safe than sorry'']. You know even if one or the other is wearing a condom, 'cause you know they make condoms for women as well? I've heard the condom just goes up, goes up the vagina hole, with a little bit of plastic hanging out, so it can be easily taken out. So that's good, that's good, so well anyway, anyway, should you and I get together, if one of us uh, [''something unintelligible in a high-pitched goofy voice''] give yourself over to me well um, oh my god. Aw. Well, anyway, I was saying that if you did, oh, uh, if you did um like wear a condom, we'd still be good in God's eyes as long as uh, as long as you know, you don't get any, you don't get any in you, that's what condoms are for. Yeah. Yeah. Not that's just, uh, you just like something you can think about.

===My first time===
'''11. My first time: 13:04''' Yeah, let me think a moment. Hm... alright. I'm imagining, a bedroom, there's the bed, well, let's see a hotel room, basic one or two beds, lamp, a television in front of the beds, or bed. [(Girl's voice on other end) "Is that what you're imagining?"] Deh, you and I are entering the room, I'm just going to say it to you, the best points. You and I are entering the room, I'm prepared with a condom in my right pocket, and you are feeling so up to it. You and I would walk over to the bed, and we'd take our shoes off, and we'd sit down on the bed, side by side, and we'd turn our heads to face each other, and we'd look into each others eyes, lovingly, (pretend like you know what we're about to do is just right) and we'd lean toward each other, and we'd kiss and we'd make out. Oh yeah, our tongues are exchanging between our mouths, we're frenching and it feels so good, your tongue on mine and mine on yours just feels so good, right! And we're rubbing each others sides and backs with our hands, our mouths are busy, and after a moment, you take off your blouse, and I take off my shirt, optionally with the medallion on, you know I could have it, I could do this on or off, but uh, in this case, let's just say it's off. All right, so you took off your blouse, I took off my shirt. You are wearing a bra. You take off your skirt. I move my hands, and then you start to turn me on. You would sexually reach around your back, we're not kissing at this point, we're not kissing since we've taken off our shirts. You would reach around your back, uncouple and unhook your bra. Your breasts are just like I could imagine them, good size, not too big, not too small, it's like turning me on I feel so "Wow! Those are awesome!" My penis would bulge through my underwear, starting to become erect. And then you would put your hands on your breasts, like you're massaging them, and turn back then you're leading me on to massage them for you. And then you'd lean to, and you'd cuh - and then while you're massaging your breasts, you'd lean towards me for me to massage them so you can work, those [incoherent stuttering] massage on yourself for you so I could be the massager for you. Then I will put my hands on your breasts, feels SO good, my hands, they feel so lovely, the first skin contact I feel as such between me as the man and you as the woman. You're turned on by all this and I'm turned on. My bulge gets bigger, and you might start to feel a little wet down there in your panties, 'cause that would be the precum that you would extrude from this first, this um, this first erection there. Uhm. And you would, then you would come down and after another makeout when you'd massa - and I'm touching your breasts, you'd make your way down from my head you'd take off my underwear, and then you'd massage my erect penis, and then you'd lick it a bit like an ice cream cone. Then you'd put your mouth, and you'd just, you'd just enjoy it. It feels, it feels right to you because it's the penis of your lover, it feels good for me too, because I can feel the wetness of your mouth and tongue around it, Uh, it just feels so good, unngghh, and because me being a virgin, I would let you keep your mouth over my penis and then sooner than expected, I feel my comeuppance and I come into your mouth, my semen is inside your mouth and you'd swallow every drop. I would have eaten so much chocolate, that day beforehand, and it would taste so yummy to you, probably like white chocolate. You'd swallow that. And right after I'd given you my first round, my first comeuppance, you would take, you would reach down, and you would take your face away from my penis, and then you would take off your panties, and I would, uh and you, and you would be on the bed now, you'd be lying down, and then I would put the index finger of my right hand into your vaginal opening, it feels so good. I would have my left hand on your right breast, massaging that, with the right, and my left hand, then I'd massage the inside of your vagina. With my index and middle fingers at first, and then eventually I would add my fourth finger. And if it felt like, if it looked like there was more room, I'd add my pinkie and then my thumb. And then after, after that, then I would remove my hand and then I would lick your clit. It would feel, it would feel so good to you, like as if I, like as if I was gently tickling you, you know, like you're in the wind, or the water rushing up to your vaginal opening, it feels so good. I'd lick your clit, and then I would lick the, lick, lick the little, lick the opening walls of your vaginal opening, and it would feel so good to you. And then after about a minute of that, I would get myself ready to put my penis in your vagina, but then I would, then I would politely warn you since we both are virgins, I would say, "This might hurt a bit at first," but it would start to feel SO good then you would nod in understanding and agreement. Then I would put, a condom on my penis, I would put it into your vagina, you might feel hurt, you might feel good, I don't know what you would be at this point, but at this point I imagine you would feel just like, "Oh, I'm so surprised, this feels, this is starting to feel just so good," got blood in my- your vagina at this point because you ARE a virgin and I just broke, just broke your hymen. But anyway, you feel so good, and it feels so good, and I feel, I feel good, cuz' I'm pushing it in and pulling it out, and I'm pushing it in and pulling it out and it just feels so good, and I mea-.. uhh uhh uhh, oh yeah it feels so good and I would massage your breasts with both my free hands as I am - as you are lying down and I am basically on my knees, and it is just so good and I'm givin' it to ya smoothly as I can, mmmh, yeah, yeah, and then to make yourself feel comfortable, you might ask me, you'd probably ask me to pull my dick out, my hard cock out, and you'd turn over onto your hands and knees with your legs spread open wide, revealing your vaginal opening, and I'd put it back in, me on my knees, I'd put my dick back in there and give it, give it to you some more, it feels so good, oh yeah, mmm yeah, uh yes, oh god, oh yeah, I can feel it's so good, oh yeah [''etc''] And then after a couple minutes or so of this, I would think that, I would think I would want of take a little break myself, I would take my penis out, and I would lie on my back, and you would, and you would be on your knees, and you would put my penis into your vagina, by yourself, it's sticking straight up or possibly curved downward towards my feet. And you would slide your vagina onto my dick. And it just feels so good and [''moaning etc''] and then you would have your right hand on your right breast, and your left hand would be on my right side, I'd massage your free breast with my right hand, it just feels so good [moaning] and I would feel like I'm about to come, so I would just, I'd just let you know before an instant, and I'd pull it out. Then I'd take the condom off and put it in the trash can. And then I would just stroke my penis up and down, and you'd, uh, you'd offer your breasts for me let the semen land upon it giving you what is like a pearl necklace. And then I would come. Drips of the semen would just come out in bunches, and the drips would fall all around, all over your chest and on top of your breasts, and just the drips, they would feel warm, and they would feel so good to you there, it would feel just right at the point, there, and then, you would probably lick the rest off of the tip of my penis. [[Sigh]]. Th-th-then at that point, we'd go to the bathroom and wash each other off. We'd take two washcloths, and you'd wash my penis clean, and I'd wash your breasts clean, and I'd reach down and wash your vagina clean. But then we would be just looking at each other lovingly under the covers of the bed, and we'd just be like, "That was so awesome!" And we'd acknowledge each other in some such sense. And that's a good way of me imagining my first time. Ah, well. Oh yeah I usually wear white underwear, by the way. Hmm.. what color are your bra and panties? Purple?

===It's called phone sex===
'''12. It's called phone sex 0:43''' That's fine, but did you enjoy that? The detailed presentation..? [''Sigh''] Did you actually feel like you wet your panties a bit during all that. Then I did good! [''he sounds genuinely happy here''] Awesome. You know, basically, what we went through? Is like phone sex. Have you heard of that?

===How does I sex phone?===
'''13. How does I sex phone? 0:26''' Alright so basically, we're at the point where you're like the woman who, like, wants to get turned on by a man, and you pick up the phone, and I answer it, and you want, and you want me to describe what I would do to you, and how you would - then how you would feel and you would enjoy it so much and yeah. Basically what we just did was like phone sex.

===Perfect Cyber Sex===
'''14. Perfect Cyber Sex: 1:45''' Oh, I'm sorry. Let me turn the volume down on the radio again. [''Sigh''] Uh. Okay. So anyway, so anyway the fake vagina or the cylindrical, or the cylindrical tube with the suction thing in it, yeah, either of them have a USB cord attached to it and I'll plug it into the PSP and then the man would have the suction tube or vagina on his, on the, on the, on his penis, or for the women, it would be like, if, if, because if it was truly like cybersex, then it would be like in relation to like to what was happening live over the internet. Yeah, like similar for you, like similar for you, since you're the, you're the woman, you would get like, uh, a dildo? And on the end of it would be the USB cord right there, you'd plug that in, and the dildo, you, you wouldn't have to pull it like in or out, it would have like a thing attached to it, where it attaches to like, like the groin area probably, and it would just pump itself in and out like the man was, was doing you there. So like I imagine that would be how cybersex would be perfected, at that point.

===Under my coat===
'''15. Under my coat: 0:15''' And now, I am wearing nothing underneath this housecoat. You wanna see? [''Incredibly disturbing.'']
</div>

==Sonichu spoilers==

===Birthdays===
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
'''1. Birthdays: 0.59''' Hey, everybody's having fun! They're having birthday parties! It starts off with Rosey's birthday, then we've got the Chaotic Combo's birthday on the same day, and then we've got Sonichu's birthday. Then at this point, he's a surprise party so he's coming home from a hot birthday date with Rosechu, and he's dressed up in a tuxedo and she's dressed up in a glitzy ballroom gown and she's got glitter makeup on her. So then they - then she turns on the light and everybody jumps up and yells, "Surprise!" and then on the 4th page, there's just a little private party, just a little private party between Blake and Bubbles. She delivers him a cupcake, and he's just sitting there, and then at one point she's like, "Why don't you go ahead and blow out the candles, blow out the candle and make a wish?" And he's just like, "Well, I'll blow out the candle but I already have my wish." And then they kiss. And make out.

===FUCK YEAH SPRING BREAK!===
'''2. FUCK YEAH SPRING BREAK! 0:43''' And then Bubbles, then Bubbles asks Blake, "Are you gonna come to the spring break party at the beach tomorrow, right?" And he says "Yeah, and I'm gonna put on my little, I'll put on my bad boy show for your gal-pals." And then for the next couple of pages, it's um, yeah, he's pretending, he's pretending to be the bad guy in front of everybody but Bubbles. But Bubbles, only in front of Bubbles, he'll be, he'll be the good boy in addition to the bad boy. [''Bizarre noise''] The bad boy in private! All right so anyway, after that little plot bit, bit between Blake and Bubbles...

===Parody===
'''3. Parody: 1:28''' I'll do a parody of [[Family Guy]] a little bit. It's like, do you remember, [''goofy high pitched voice''] "This is MTV and we're rockin' it with Spring Break!" flippin' through the channels, and then it's like, "Hey! This is VH1 and we're rockin' it live with Spring Break!" And then, "Thousands injured. For CNN, I'm Bernard Shaw. Keepin' it real and keepin' it ours at Spring Break! Woooooooo!" And then Meg would groan. And for my bit, I've got like Umm TV, and then uh, then uh instead of VH1 I have like PH1 and then instead of CNN News, I take a little bit, I borrow a little bit, a parody, borrow a little parody of Fox 20th Century from [''something''] he calls like [''something'']. I have all like six volumes of DVD [''some crap about manga or something''] I realize I was being intrusive upon it, taking, taking after real life.</div>

== See also ==
*[[Chris Sex Videos]]
*[[Christian's sex joke]]
*[[Chris and sex]]

==External links==
*[http://rapidshare.com/files/148751611/CWCAudio.zip.html MP3 Recordings]

[[Category:Chris-chan]]

Red Letter CWC Certified Day

2010-09-12T19:05:46Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113239 by Level1isbest (talk)

[[Image:SonichuCertificate.jpg|thumb|TRUE and ORIGINAL copyright of a TRUE and ORIGINAL character]]

'''11122009 Red Letter CWC Certified Day''' is a video uploaded on 12 [[November 2009]] in which [[Chris]] proudly displays the certificate of his registration of the name, "[[Sonichu]]", which he received in the mail earlier that day. He is extremely jubilant and smug in this video, in stark contrast to 11 November's [[CWC is Sad]] in which he (''supposedly'') wept over the loss of [[Kacey]]. This is Chris's first [[Captain's Log]] since mid [[October 2009|October]].

Despite him having registered [[Sonichu]], it still stands that if he tries to publish anything ''Sonichu''-related, he will be in trouble. The comics themselves contain content that is already copyrighted, and the abortion that is Sonichu would be EXTREMELY hard to defend in a court of law, due to being confusingly similar to [[Sonic the Hedgehog]].

Nevertheless, Chris waves the certificate as proof that he is the [[CChanSonichuCWC|TRUE and HONEST CWC]]. The resilience of his ego remains astonishing. Even after the sustained stress inflicted by the drama with Kacey and Liquid Chris, one piece of paper is all it takes to confirm that he is right, the trolls are wrong, and he is back on his way to a successful career as a comic artist/game designer/genius auteur. This proves that either Chris's spirit is indomitable or that he cared so little about Kacey that the loss of their relationship meant nothing to him. [[Ego|Guess which.]]

Also notable is that the [[Medallion of Fail]] has made its less-than-triumphant return, suggesting that a number of the previous videos were not TRUE and HONEST. (It's more likely, however, that Chris simply forgot about the medallion rule during that period of time.)

The video features another demonstration of Chris's ignorance of the national anthem. He appears to be attempting a bastard hybrid of "Hail to the Chief" and "My Country, 'Tis of Thee", but, whatever it is, it bears no resemblance whatsoever to "The Star-Spangled Banner." His complete ignorance of American patriotic songs was [[Apology for 9/11 Joke|heard before in this video]].

'''SPOILER:''' Registering a fan character won't get you [[china]].

== Video ==
{{quote|IT IS OFFICIAL, Y'ALL! So, you Damn, Dirty Trolls Can Suck Your Own "[[Pickle|IT]]"! (:D}}
<center>
{{Infobox/video
| name = Red Letter CWC Certified Day
| image = {{#ev:youtube|yJl4KhoLLZc}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 12 November 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Smug|text}}
| Saga = {{Clyde}} [[Clyde]] Saga [[Image:Liquid_saga.png]] [[Liquid]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Refereeshirt.PNG]] The Referee
| previous = [[CWC is sad]]
| next = [[14 November 2009]]
}}</center>

=== Transcript ===
[''Chris is in a perky mood. He is once again sporting his [[medallion]] and [[pedo-glasses]]. The video is very jittery and has lots of audio skips.'']

Ah, [[Captain's Log]], Stardate November 12, 2009. It's now time for fan mail—well, not much fan mail, as it is, but a little something from the Virginia Library of Congress!

[''He holds an envelope up to the camera, with a return address from the United States Copyright Office.]

Let's take a look inside, shall we?

[''The camera wobbles wildly as Chris fumbles with the envelope. His pair of [[Plush Breasts]] is briefly visible.'']

Hm, whaddaya know? [''Removing glasses''] All the [[trolls]] have been lying after all! They have no registration.

[''He holds the "Certificate of Registration" up to the camera.'']

Read it and weep! Hm. But anyway, the signature, the seal, and a registration number...and the titles, and everything, this will be scanned and uploaded to the [[CWCipedia]] today! So, ha! Middle finger to you, you damn trolling bastards!

[''He flips the bird at the camera.'']
[[Image:Ianfuckfail.jpg|thumb|How does one [[fail]] at showing the middle finger?]]
You can die and rot in hell, [[Clyde]]! You too, [[CChanSonichuCWC|Chris]]. Sorry, Kacey, but...that son of a bitch ain't got nothin' now. Oh, also, something else, you know?

[''He waves the letter around in front of the camera some more.'']

Front... and back! Information!

[''He points his index finger at...something.'']

So there! I am a true, I am the true, I am the man! I am the real creator! I am...Christian Weston Chandler, first name Christopher, Spanish nickname Ricardo, of [[Ruckersville, Virginia]]. In the United States of America.

[''He performs a half-assed Cub Scout salute and begins singing, very badly.'']

"Hail thee, to the president, by gah-[''presumably trying to figure the word while saying it; video skips'']her 'tis of thee..." Okay, I don't know the words, but I am being patriotic here!

So everybody have a good day. And more stuff is to come, so keep it [''video skips''] and praying and that you will get it. Have a great day.

== Remixes ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Sonichu's Copyright Has just been revoked
| video = {{#ev:youtube|KeCnTMpFqkE}}
| Stardate = 12 November 2009
| Maker = IBAClydeCash
| Subject = [[Chris]]
| Video Type = Remix
}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and copyright]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC is sad]]|nextlink=[[14 November 2009]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu 10

2010-09-12T19:05:14Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113240 by Level1isbest (talk)

{{Infobox/Comic
| titleandissue = Sonichu #10
| cover = [[Image:Issue 10 Cover.jpg|150px]]
| coverdate = 15 September 2008
| finishedcomic = 25 February 2010
| pagecount = 97
| episodes = 21
| previous = [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]]
| next = [[Sonichu 11|Sonichu #11]]
}}
'''''Sonichu 10''''' is the eleventh issue of the [[Sonichu (comic)|''Sonichu'' comic]]. Chris submitted the first page to the [[CWCipedia]] on 8 [[December 2009]], shortly after finishing [[Sonichu 9|issue 9]]. The final pages were scheduled to be uploaded on 24 [[February 2010]] ([[Christian Love Day|Chris's birthday]]) although he missed it by a few hours.

==Background==
[[Image:Sonichu 10 release graph.png|thumb|right|Sonichu 10 release activity.]]
Throughout the early fall of 2008, the idea of obtaining and destroying Chris's [[Medallion of Fail]] had captured the imaginations of [[trolls]] across the world. Ultimately, a group of trolls, posing as Chris's sweetheart [[Blanca]], convinced Chris to send her the Medallion.

For a time, it was unclear what had happened. Chris would attempt to set the record straight in his [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|09 October 2008 video]], where he confirmed that he had sent the Medallion to Blanca, and that trolls briefly intercepted it. However, Chris would go on to insist that Blanca herself was not a troll, and that she somehow retrieved the Medallion and returned it to Chris unharmed. In fact, Chris had simply constructed a new Medallion, claiming to have upgraded the original to explain its differences from the first. He also began to show off his [[High School Ring]] implying its greater importance.

To further spin the theft of the Medallion, Chris drew a special Sonichu comic meant to be an excerpt from issue #10. This was uploaded circa 14 October 2008. In it, Chris fictionalizes the trolls attempts to steal his Medallion, and emphasizes the Medallion's safety and Blanca's loyalty to him. Additionally, Chris retcons the [[Anchuent Prophecy]], establishing that the Medallion's powers actually come from the Amnyfest High School Ring.

===Continuity===
At the time, Chris had not yet completed the second half of [[Sonichu 8|Sonichu #8]], and indeed would not complete that issue until 1 January 2009. Most likely, Chris's rationale for skipping ahead was that he wanted to acknowledge the Medallion incident in his comics, but needed to have himself appear in the story to do this. As Chris's character has been marooned in the "[[time void]]" since the end of [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], and not scheduled to return until ''after'' #8, Chris's only solution was to flash forward in the storyline, to a point where he had returned to Earth and was able to confront the trolls personally.

Ironically, far more has transpired in Chris's life than he could have possibly imagined. Even as Chris struggled to begin [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu #9]], Blanca had long since been revealed as a troll, and Chris has subsequently been romanced and heart-shattered by several other trolls. By the time Sonichu #10 had officially begun, the theft of the Medallion and Blanca's role in the incident were ancient history. In fact, the comic version of Blanca had been abruptly written out of the story two issues ago, and Chris's comic counterpart was already seeing his future wife, ensuring that the "trusted sweetheart Blanca" line makes absolutely no sense without any knowledge of the events leading up to the preview pages.

Furthermore, Chris promised at the end of Sonichu #9 that he would remove himself from the comics and that he'd focus solely on [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]. By the end of Episode 21, however, he remains in the comic.

===Cover art===
[[Image:SonichuCover10.jpg|thumb|**The Cover Art for Comic #10 was Wisely Picked by myself, C.W.C., and Generously Contrubed by Sonichu Fan, PandaHalo.**]]

Despite his continued support of Blanca, Chris was also embroiled in an online relationship with [[PandaHalo]], and he used her fan-art of Chris-Chan Sonichu as the cover of #10.

===Death of Simonla===
During the production of Sonichu 10, Chris was also deeply embroiled in a feud with the forces behind the [[Asperpedia]]. More specifically, [[Evan]] was putting pressure on Chris to kill or otherwise remove from the comics [[Simonla Rosechu]], whose creation had been based on Evan's original Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, Simonchu. Chris refused and actually retconned Simonla's entry on the [[CWCipedia]] to state that Simonla was his own original creation, and he had not based her on Simonchu. Shortly after these changes were made, [[9 February 2010|the CWCipedia went offline]], replaced by a notice from Evan's lawyers.

In order to recover the CWCipedia, Chris posted a two-page spread in which Chris apologizes for his trespasses against the Asperpedia team, and Simonla is killed by an exploding toilet. When he arrived at Simonla's death in the actual comic, however, he spread the events of Simonla's death over many pages, and introduced a new character: [[Sandy Rosechu]], her daughter with [[Wild Sonichu|Wild]]. Furthermore, the Asperpedia team are depicted as Simonla's murderers, and after a kangaroo court, are bloodily executed, with Sandy and Wild teaming up to maim and then murder Evan. Team Asperpedia was understandably upset with this development, and have since coerced Chris into the third of his seemingly endless rewrites of the end of Sonichu 10.

{{-}}
==Episode 21: Christian Chandler in Director Amenities==
{{Resources
| title = Christian Chandler in Director Amenities
| cwcipedia =http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_10 ''Episode 21''
| videobook =Sonichu_10_Official_Videobook#Episode_21{{!}}''Episode 21''
| sonichusite =http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic11P1.htm ''Episode 21''}}
===Curing Da Homos===

The comic begins by recapping [[Wild]] and [[Magi-Chan]]'s effort to rescue Chris from the [[Time Void]]. However, there is a bit more dialogue than the the [[Sonichu 9]] version, including Chris stating that he now has a new future wife named [[Lovely Weather]]. Chris then goes on to reveal that he [[Kacey Call|tricked his future wife into thinking he was his future self]], and then [[rape|fucked his future wife]] while his future self was at work.

He proceeds to textwall again, revealing that, in the future, scientists have almost discovered the cure for [[homos]]exuality, but require pure, heterosexual blood to complete the formula. Chris volunteers for this procedure, apparently because there are no 100% heterosexuals 6 years in the future. Keep in mind that Chris himself still exists at this time, yet it seems they can't use Future Chris's blood for [[Homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|some reason]]. After receiving the cure and finding out it worked, he grabbed two of the syringes, planning to use one to turn [[Reldnahc]] back into Naitsirhc, whose one completely random true love, [[Kel]], is worried sick about. The fate of the other syringe is never seen.

He then entrusts Magi-Chan with one of the Chaotic Crystals and a mission: go back to 2015, grab one of the crates containing the cure and return to the present with them, putting them with their stockpiles of today (thus causing a time paradox and, even worse, restoring his virginity!). Using the boosted Magi-Chan, he psychically calls out to a number of people to begin the mission of correcting the hundreds of plot holes: He calls out to Allison Amber and [[BILLY MAYS]], who somehow survived [[Sonichu 9]], to load up [[Son-Chu]] with his [[PS3]], [[Guitar Hero]] and his plastic instruments and head for the 4-Cent Garbage HQ; he then tells [[Patti-chan]] that Sonichu's coming to pick up the other five Chaotic Crystals and to move the still-trapped [[Crystal]] over to his office near his desk; he tells Sonichu to get said Crystals and meet him at [[4chan|4-Cent Garbage]]'s HQ by 2:30; and finally, he tells [[Blake]] and [[Punchy]] to also head for the HQ. Chris also lets Wild play in his [[Chris and reality|imaginary band]]. With everything set up, Chris transforms in Chris-Chan Sonichu and we're at where we left off from [[Sonichu 9]], sort of.

===Rage Against the Garbage 2: Electric Boogaloo===

[[Image:DevilTrolls.JPG|thumb|left|Devil trolls, in all their disgusting glory.]]

Chris, before killing his enemies, makes a stop at a building where he keeps all his Sonichu-related gear (a large, not-so-subtle sign notes the building is somehow hosted by Tripod, one of Chris's original webspace providers). He enters to find his stuff safe and sound, until the Devil [[Trolls]] emerge, resembling winged, evil Troll dolls. Chris goes on the attack, swatting many of them away. The trolls' flesh-colored tails look suspiciously like [[pickle|penises]], especially when Chris [[homos#Evidence that Chris is a homo|grabs one by the tail]], sending a pleasurable wave of electricity through the creature, causing its tail to become stiff and erect.

Chris manages to defeat all the devil trolls and proceeds to go on a lengthy, pointless rant/ad for the videogame "Fairytale Fights." He then explains, as best he can, the ESRB rating system, such as "M" being for "Moof" and how one shouldn't "be a Moof or aloof" and "keep it "E" or "T" for your children". He clarifies that, even though he wants others to stick to E or T-rated games, he admits that he has played and enjoyed ''[[Brutal Legend]]'', though it's not clear whether he now considers himself a Moof, or perhaps even aloof. He then proceeds to teleport his useless Sonichu-related crap into his Mayoral office. After that, he creates a Lightning Bomb, performs Chaotic Control to teleport away from the building, erects a barrier around the building '''and fucking blows it up!''' [[Chris and remorse|Chris then claims]] that Tripod didn't have good security and had no support for Flash programs. A message in Japanese characters listed as a "controversial statement!" is seen to the right.

Chris, after "burning the Tripod bridge", proceeds to do a set of tasks, including setting up his fated first date with Lovely, who's revealed to be a busty, brown-haired girl, preparing up everything for the [[CWCipedia]] before talking to his Board of Directors, whom he literally towers over before heading on to Tennessee. [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]] rapidly advances on the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Observing Chris on an HD-TV hooked up to a [[Hex Bawx]], the evil [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] prepares to spring a trap for the autistic furfag.

Apropos of nothing, a large sign hanging from the monitor informs the reader that Chris endorses Blu-Ray discs, apparently unaware that the HD format war ended prior to this comic's creation. Chris also includes a plug for ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' ([[gay|yay!]]), delivered by the game's mascot, Sackboy. Sackboy commands the readers to purchase the game and play Chris's Sonichu level, even if they have to buy a PS3 to do so. He further warns gamers against using illegal copies of ''LittleBigPlanet'' for [[Nintendo|Wii]] or Xbox360, as if these even existed. Chris arrives at the front door to the building and waits for [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] to arrive with Chris's Autobot, Son-Chu, his PS3, and his ''Guitar Hero'' [[guitar]]. Somehow convinced all this shit will help him wage war against the building, Chris waits patiently, which makes you wonder why he bothered showing up early in the first place.

Inside, Jason uses an illegal Xbox copy of ''LittleBigPlanet'' to create a cage over Chris, and drops it on his head. Chris-Chan attempts to spin-dash his way out with his Sonichu powers, but the cage is too strong. With Chris-Chan's hedgehog speed neutralized, Jason's lackey, [[Beel]] uses a red tractor beam of some kind to target Chris's transformation spot, reverting him to his human form of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. This causes his [[Medallion]] to re-materialize, and Beel's beam drags it away from Chris's body and into his waiting hand. Beel absorbs the Medallion into his hand, but feels no increase in his own power. Inside the cage, Chris notices his [[High School Ring]] sparking with energy. Sprouting [[fangs]] of confidence, Chris puts on his [[glasses]] and aims his ring at Beel, teleporting the Sonichu Medallion to his trusted [[Sweetheart]], [[Blanca]] (which is hilarious, especially after the additions). Chris explains that his high school ring was the source of his powers all along, and he uses it to transform back into Chris-Chan Sonichu. With a Hyper Beam attack, he blasts through the cage, blowing Beel into the 4-cent_garbage building.

The final page of the preview shows a photo of [[Jimmy Hill]], who is also struck by the Hyper Beam. His teeth are destroyed in the attack, and [[Bugs Bunny]] appears to scold him. Sonichu makes his lone appearance to shake his clenched fist and growl '''"Jimmy!!"''' Also, a hedgehog or something says "Dinsdale", which probably causes [[Monty Python]] fags to cream their jeans or something. Chris closes with a warning not to buy any merchandise from Jimmy Hill.

=== Comic Chris banishes his sexual insecurity===

While waiting for the rest to show up, Chris-Chan Sonichu meditates, not knowing that [[Naitsirhc]] is sneaking up behind him, planning to smack him with a plank. Chris-Chan suddenly develops Newtype abilities, senses the attack and blocks it. Naitsirhc decides that it's time to end everything and plans to turn Christian evil and [[homo|gay]]. Christian, on the other hand, says the reverse, that it's the end of evil and homosexuality. The two sonichus fight it out until the two of them conveniently hit each other in their weak spots, and both are flung to the pavement. Naitsirhc manages to get up and prepare a finishing move, as Chris surreptitiously prepares a hypodermic needle while feigning unconsciousness. Naitsirhc asks Chris if he has any last words. Chris, pretending to be a badass, says "Only three words..."

He then rises up and with great fury stabs Naitsirhc, not in the heart, but straight in his Black Sonichu Medallion. With a big "NOOOOO!", Naitsirhc transforms back into the totally straight Reldnahc Giovanni, while Chris says the completely non-homoerotic phrase, '''"Drink My [[semen|Blood!]]"''' As he teleports Reldnahc to [[Kel]]'s waiting bedside, he laments that Naitsirhc never [[Sonichu 6|never wore a shirt]], but is glad the evil homo is gone. He also comments that Kel is looking very nice these days, but he never actually draws her into the strip because she's a [[women's rights|lowly woman]] and he has to save screentime for [[Chris and his ego|himself]] and his army of [[Sonichu (species)|recolors]]. At the same time, Son-Chu, Sonichu, Blake and Wild arrive. As they set up their ''Guitar Hero'' gear, Sonichu notices something on Chris's guitar - the [[PaRappa the Rapper]] cap. Sonichu puts it on and turns 2D. When Chris grabs his guitar, his [[Amnyfest Ring|ring]] reacts, turning back to his real life self to talk about laundry and [[lie]] about a [[sweetheart|relationship]] he doesn't get then quickly dismiss it. Another Son-Chu transformation (its page ''reused'' from Episode 20), and it seems that Chris has gathered the [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys COMEBACK!|Hedgehog Boys]] to rock out... and Chris's legs seem to deform at the knees as well. The next page is a doctored picture of Chris because he's too lazy to draw anything else at the moment. Chris looks particularly bored in this picture, really distracting from the intended drama of the moment.

[[Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.]]

===POWER RANGERS FUCK YEAH===

The song they start to play is [[Power Rangers|"Revive Zordon"]], a particularly horrible song to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever" extolling the superiority of the original Power Rangers over the later iterations. As Chris [[fail|rocks out]], Beel, evidently alive, [[Clyde Cash]], making his first official appearance in the comics, and [[Jack Thaddeus]], also making his first appearance, warn [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] that the building can't take this kind of rock and say they must escape. Jason tells the three that, yes, he is escaping and retiring to a two-story house in the suburbs. He, then, tells them that he's STRAIGHT and that he doesn't want to be involved in the slandering and mockery anymore. As he escapes, Beel decides to abandon those two for being homosexual and for slandering and mocking an innocent man. With no choice left, and in perhaps the only remotely touching moment in ''Sonichu'', Jack and Clyde hold hands like true heroes as they express their deep remorse for slandering Chris and making [[homos]] look even worse than they already are, before leaping down the 72 story elevator shaft as Chris and the crew proceed with their plan to murder every single living thing in the building. For someone who has dealt with [[Ivy|suicide]] personally, Chris is awfully supportive of it as a means of eliminating his greatest enemies without getting his hands dirty.

As the building fell, it is said that there were about 1500 [[trolls|people]] in the building during the collapse. Those closest to the ground got out scot-free. 250 trolls got out safely when Chris and his crew went to save them. 250 other trolls were too [[alcohol|drunk]] to get out. Of those 125 trolls were either injured or dead, along with another 125 sober. Of the remaining 500, 250 were safe, 150 injured and 100 dead. Note that although Chris states that there were 1500 people in the building, this only adds up to 1375. A memorial would be put up in the ruins and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and 4-Cent Garbage would lose its data and "never return", despite the fact that they probably had back ups. [[Twin Falling Towers|This is not the first time]] one of Chris's anti-troll diatribes has twisted the imagery of a collapsing building that killed hundreds of people to his own selfish purposes.

[[Image:NoMoreHomos.jpg|thumb|left|Depiction of Mayor Chandler's success in ''poisoning'' the city's water supply. Wait, what?]]

Ignoring this little bit to put the spotlight back on him, Chris laments on how those there wasted their talents for trolling, comparing them to ''[[Wikipedia:TMZ|TMZ]]''. It quickly goes into a non sequitur, where it shows cameras focusing on [[Women's rights|Rosechu on the toilet inserting a tampon]], [[Rosechu]] and Sonichu in the middle of some bondage deal and filming Robbie talking about [[Random-access humor|how he pissed on a lizard]]. Before it goes any further, Magi-Chan returns from screwing with the timestream and [[Mailbag 31#Magi-Chan knows when you fuck|being Big Brother]]. Upon returning, Magi-Chan declares that testing on the vaccine is a success and that he brought the crates to the present and are sending them across on trucks. It is said that one February 24th, 2009, homosexuality will be eradicated and the day will be called [[Chris and his Ego|"Christian Love Day"]]. He also says that Silvana will eventually be returned to a TRUE and [[HONEST]] female from [[GodJesus]] and [[Fail|fall in love with Magi-Chan]].

===Chris trolls himself again===

All of a sudden, [[Family Guy|Meg Griffin]] shows up and says that she's a [[fail|fan of the comic series]]. As they talk, a guy walks up and taunts Meg, calling her a 'sir' - which is common for Meg. Chris stands up for her and the guy insults Chris instead. Chris flips his lid and [[Chris and anger|sucker punches the guy]]. Meg thanks him by kissing Chris, meaning Chris has cheated on his future wife AGAIN. As they leave, it's revealed that Meg was actually [[Silvana]] in disguise, commenting on how easy it was to troll him. Yes, Chris did just depict himself making out with someone who has a penis, why do you ask?

===Ultra Sonichu and Collosal Chan===
[[Image:XboxCameForCWC.jpg|thumb|left|Putting a whole new meaning on the word "X'''box'''".]]
After taking the time to grovel at his fans for the past comic and begging them not to abandon him, he and Sonichu take the Sonichu Ball Crystal things and transform into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. After transforming, Chris decides to go back to CWCVille, but tells Ultra Sonichu to head for RuleCWC with Darkbind Sonichu before heading for [[Asperchu|Minnesota]] and wait for him. Back in CWCVille, Chris enters the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] and rescues Crystal from the mirror with all the fanfare of picking up a bag of groceries. As Crystal comes to, Allison says that she's called the paramedics to look after her. For some reason Crystal refers to Christian as "Christopher", though it's not clear if this is meant to be some kind of sign between the siblings, or if Chris just forgot about his [[The Bear|name change]].

Meanwhile in RuleCWC, Darkbind Sonichu is kneeling by Zelina Rosechu when Ultra Sonichu arrives, striking the same pose as Jesus Christ on the Cross. In "Da Cave", a stone breaks open and someone, possibly Clawdorf, realizes the Chaotic Crystals freed him, then asks how long he was out. That's right, the act of Chris and Sonichu activating their super forms allows a vaguely defined evil force to escape imprisonment. It's not like Chris and Sonichu ''needed'' to transform, either. The greatest threat to CWCville at the moment is Chris himself as he [[Twin Falling Towers|destroys various buildings]] with the power of [[fail|rock]]. Sonichu uses his power to revive Zelina, who acts like the rest of the vapid Rosechus over what Darkbind did for her. This rescue complete, Ultra Sonichu races out, but not before he "coles" the window hatch.

[[Image:DBNT2G_police.jpg|thumb|right|Chris could have picked ''Mass Effect 2'' when lusting after a dating game. Instead, he consciously chose ''this.'' Not entirely unforeseen!]]

In Minnesota, Collosal Chan and Ultra Sonichu hover over the house of Alec Benson Leary, and break in. Discovering Alec's computer (which is revealed to be a [[Hex_bawx|HEX BAWX]] "Pavillion"; note Chris's computer is an [[Wikipedia:HP Pavilion (computer)|HP Pavillion]]), Chris [[SheCameForCWC.jpg|inserts his finger]] into a USB port, then concentrates and rips off ''Shadow the Hedgehog'' by placing himself inside the computer. Once inside, Chris proceeds to delete all files within the [[Asperpedia]], ban Mao, Sean, [[Evan]] and Alec, the delete their accounts. He then steals a "better dating simulator" (likely [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"]) with the retarded intention to modify it for PS3 use, as though XBox owners don't deserve a shitty dating simulator, before he escapes, planting another Lightning Bomb to blow up the HEX BAWX. While Chris was doing this, Ultra Sonichu enters Alec's room, commenting on the [[Chris and art|bad art]] from the Asperchu series. While the art in Asperchu is hardly professional grade, at the very least it shows some understanding of perspective, proportion, and pacing. If anything it looks like a moderately skilled artist who just happens to be drawing very quickly, whereas Sonichu looks like it's drawn by a [[Christian Weston Chandler|retarded child]].

While investigating the dirty room, Ultra Sonichu overhears people talking and, upon leaving, discovers Asperchu and his variation of the Chaotic Combo, whom are tired of his world's mall. Upon seeing him, the Sonichu and Rosechu start going off into a nearly god-like praise for the [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST]] Sonichu. The malformed beasts then proceed to tell Ultra Sonichu how Alec infected them all with Asperger's and pushed homosexuality on them and that they had real names before Alec gave them the names of the Chaotic Combo. Ultra Sonichu then uses his powers to cure them of Asperger's, transforming them into Michael, Bobby, Kitty, Trisha, Whisp and Swift (all of whom will never appear again). Asperchu then turns into a muscle-bound Sonichu known as Mitch. As thanks, Sonichu tells them not to listen to Alec and his group and just live free. As he does, Chris blows up the HEX BAWX.

At this point the group literally [[Chris and his ego|bows down before Chris]] and Sonichu, before Chris politely informs them that he's not God; [[Chris and Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|simply a representative of God]]. Metal Asperchu then shows up and assaults the group. Chris creates a barrier, though he doesn't bother to use his nigh-omnipotence to destroy the enemy or send him to the [[The Moon|goddamn moon]] and instead forces the non-chaotic Combo to combine their powers to defeat the creature. With that out of the way, they thank Chris again for being so awesome, then spot Asperchu creator Alec Benson Leary off-screen, and go to [[death threats|physically assault him]]. Chris has never seen an actual picture of Alec, and so he is never depicted. Alec apparently had a group of Rosechus locked in his basement, and Chris nonchalantly decides to go ahead and use his powers to rescue them as well.

Page 65 is a wall of text so mindbogglingly long and retarded that Chris has to cut his way out from the previous page (or something) to cram a picture. The tl;dr of it is an attempt to once again retcon everything his characters have done in anyone else's comics, reaffirming their sexuality, sweethearts, occupations, and rebuking any characterizations that say otherwise, in an attempt to absolutely distinguish that his Sonichu is unrelated to Asperchu in any way. He finishes by stating that his characters will never go to Minnesota, nor interact with any Mitch/Asperchu unless he says so. A point of interest is an implication that Chris thinks using Magi-chan to railroad the plot illustrates his "strength", as he considers Alec's take on the character to be "weak" for not doing exactly this. He also seems to think that Metal Asperchu is a Pokemon, which is strange considering that his [[Metal Sonichu|own robot]] has no place on his convoluted evolution chart.

Impatient, Ultra Sonichu asks Great Director Chris if they can continue with the story.

Back in CWCville, the Chaotic Combo and others sit at a table talking about why they hate the Asperpedia comics so much. This includes insulting the art, the mischaracterizations, and intellectual property rights. [[Simonla]] specifically denounces [[Evan]] (who has been trying to convince Chris to remove her from the comic via the [[Mailbag]] for weeks), who retconned her as a female clone of [[Simonchu]] in his own comic. [[Allison Amber]] speaks poorly of [[Fan:Moon-Pals|Moon-Pals]], but can't seem to offer any specific complaints about the series. Crystal asks the group to calm down and wait for Chris to return, so that he can tell the president, and have Asperpedia taken down. Magi-chan ominously hints that Chris's will has to be done, lest CWCville, and possibly the world, fall into total chaos and anarchy. For some reason, Thomas Jefferson's house was used as an example of the structural damage that would be incurred.

Finally, Ultra Sonichu and the 4 unnamed Rosechus supposedly from [[Chris|Alec's]] basement arrive in one of CWCville's many [[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story|soup hotel]]s. Sonichu rambles on about the concept of a soup hotel while the dirty and emaciated Rosechus just stare on despondently. [[Basement Rosechus|The Rosechus]], named Brit-tay, Bride, Moe and Mary, decide to live their lives <s>as vapid airheads who do nothing but simper over Sonichus</s> the way they should. Ultra Sonichu helps Mary into a wheelchair and flies off. As he leaves, he runs into [[Inos]], a very high [[niggo]], obviously another satisfied customer of [[Yawning Squirtle]]. He offers Ultra Sonichu some weed, but he declines. The guy tells Sonichu he's been fighting a cold for five years and Sonichu thinks it's because of the nicotine (yes, folks. The man's high and Chris thinks it's because of tobacky!). He has Magi-Chan summon [[Constables Gerald Grant and Louis Perez|some cops]] to slap him on the wrist for smoking, put him in the soup house and put his stash in the NASA rocket set for [[the Moon]], where [[Fan: Moon-Pals|certain people will know how to use it better]]. Flying to the highest point of CWCVille, Ultra Sonichu uses Chaotic Control to free every [[Jerkop]] in the city.

===The Final Countdown===

Meanwhile, Collosal Chan confronts [[Slaweel Ryam]] in the [[PVCC]]. There, Slaweel tells her sob story about how she was an outcast, how she tried to cause others the same misfortune as some means for Chris to justify the running plot thread of Mary Lee Walsh and her Jerkops had been somehow trying to stop TRUE and HONEST love and keep VIRGINIA for VIRGINS. [[Count Graduon]] had told her he could help her, but that obviously [[fail]]ed. Slaweel gives Chris Graduon's wand and tells him to smash it, her boobs apparently inflating to the levels of [[Mary Lee Walsh#Fan art|troll fan art]] as she does. Chris looks at it like an idiot and does so without a second thought. With that, Chris goes into a spiel in which he complains about how he's never had any luck with trying to find someone himself and how he cursed the male population for it. He creates [[Things Chris has ripped off|electric versions of Kratos's blades]] before declaring that he will kill Slaweel and never forgive her. The two start fighting and, of course, Chris gets the upper hand, reflecting Slaweel's attacks back at her before deftly defeating her. Because Chris is so paranoid about people getting the "wrong" impression about him, he clarifies that Mary is only paralyzed, and not outright killed.

[[File:TEVDoesHisThingp.jpg|thumb|How it went down.]]

With Slaweel defeated, Chris goes on to make a public announcement, mentioning that Slaweel has been put in a maximum security prison, with her ex-manajerks being released free of charges. He also goes on to allow homosexuality in CWCVille, but makes marriage illegal. He appoints Crystal head of social relations to try to make things better. As he talks, admitting [[Asperchu|Alec]] had a bigger fan base, [[Simonla]] goes to the bathroom, leaving [[Wild]] to tend to their egg. ''Deus Ex Machina'' that he is, Magi-Chan stops [[Evan]] and [[Simonchu]] from killing Simonla, but isn't able to stop Alec from planting Toilet Exploding Voltorb, which detonates and hits Simonla while she's taking a piss. The police and medics race to deal with the aftermath, with Magi-Chan handing Evan and Simonchu over to the police. As Wild tends to Simonla, she gives him her "lucky shark's tooth" (aka the drill pendant Chris stole from Evan's Simonchu design, which itself was taken from Simon the driller from ''Gurren Lagann'').

As Wild worries and everyone tries to save Simonla, things go downhill and Simonla dies. Wild is told the bad news by [[Bill the Scientist]] and plans to get revenge on Simonla's killers, only to be stopped by Magi-Chan, since the killers had all conveniently already been arrested. At that time, Simonla's egg hatches, and the first thing the Rosey asks is "Where's Mommy?" Magi-Chan, [[Autism|insensitive fuck that he is]], tells her point blank Evan killed her. Over the week, Wild tends to the little Rosey, who quickly evolves into [[Sandy Rosechu]]. Some explanation is given for Sandy's training and home life, including a mention that she is taught English (even though she is shown to be perfectly capable of speaking full sentences at the exact moment of her birth).

===Forgiveness...?===

The sequence of events is interspersed with Chris delivering an [[Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_6|apology]] to Alec and Evan and bestowing a Forgiveness Blessing on Mao. Both are completely undermined by the events of the next several pages, proving yet again that Chris [[Chris_and_remorse#Motivation_to_apologize|views an apology purely as a way to get people off his back]].

[[File:FreeAsperpedia4.jpg|thumb|left|Public reaction to Chris's abortion of justice]]
Time then jumps ahead to the trial of CWCVille versus Alec, Sean, Evan and Mao. Presided by Judge Slack Lewis (who seems to be based on comedian Lewis Black), he calls for attorney [[Harvey Birdman|Marvey]] [[Pokemon|Blaziken]] to make the opening statements. Although the four are ostensibly on trial for the murder of Simonla, <s>Chris</s> Marvey makes sure to tack on a long list of charges related to the existence of the Asperpedia, such as plagiarism, mockery, [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22Don.27t_be_a_moof_or_aloof.22_.E2.80.94_Mature_content|gory pages]], and all that fucking swearing. Sean, acting as defense lawyer, makes an opening statement while high. The judge asks for order in the court and Sean orders [[fail|a beer float and pot stickers]]. All four enter a plea of not guilty and are summarily convicted based on the existence of their respective comics, the remote control for the deadly Voltorb, and Magi-Chan's mind-reading abilities. They're then sentenced to be [[Chris_and_hypocrisy#.22I_would_have_them_ESS-acuted.21.22_.E2.80.94_Capital_Punishment|executed]] by those they allegedly hurt.

[[File:SandyKiller.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Sandy's mental state.]]
Alec is first, put on the Ten-Button Electric Chair. Each button is pressed by Chris or one of the hedgehogs, each one dwelling on how they were portrayed in Asperchu- meaning Alec is '''flash-fried''' for daring to write a comic. Notable instances include Sonichu's protest of "I'M NOT GAY", Punchy's cry of "BLOOD AND GORE", Bubbles and her bitch Blake bitching about that Bubbles is not retarded, and Bionic's claim that he is not a robot (despite never being depicted as one). Evan is chained to a wall and '''drilled to bits by the infant Sandy''', who keeps his glasses as a trophy (nothing fucked up there) before Wild helps her finish him off. '''Sean is shot to death by Allison, Bill and Kellie''' and finally Chris '''[[I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD |breaks Mao]] with his psychic powers, twisting his legs at unnatural angles before finally crushing his heart''', making this the bloodiest comic ever, [[Chris and Hypocrisy|despite Chris stating just ''pages'' earlier that the rampant gore in the Asperpedia was practically criminal.]]

It should be noted that when [[Jackie]], a girl who had no knowledge of Asperchu or anything negative about Chris, saw the trial scene, Chris's godawful art style made her assume that Chris was '''executing children'''.

Although the battle with [[Mary Lee Walsh]] was the culmination of years of comics by Chris coming to a head, it is given far less time and importance than the trial and execution by the Asperpedia crew. Similarly, Crystal's rescue from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]] is done in about a page and a half, with no dialogue and no indication that it is in any way significant to the plot.

Right after killing four people and involving a toddler in the execution, Chris goes on a rant about his egotistical holiday, [[Christian Love Day]], and rips off Independence Day. The comic ends with a page dedicating the book to [[PandaHalo]] and includes her original fanart and a page from her comic.

==="Extras"===

As a super [[Autism|special]] bonus for his readers sitting through the weeks long wait for updates, Chris uploaded "Marvey Blaziken, Attorney at Law" a picture featuring the blatant rip-off of...[[Harvey Birdman|you can guess exactly who.]] Demonstrating that he has learned absolutely nothing from [[Alec Benson Leary calls|his talks with Alec]], Chris essentially tells his [[True and Loyal Fanbase]] to fuck off and let his "inspiration" come naturally, a process that can take [[Sonichu 8|months.]] Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, the page is just a recycled book page with added text.

True to his word ([[lies|for a change]]) Chris has proceeded to stop updating the comic while he waits for "inspiration" to happen.
{{clear}}

==Reaction==

===Preview===
As Chris became increasingly determined to convince the public that his Medallion had never been successfully stolen, the trolls posing as Blanca responded with photos and videos to support their claims. Finally, the medallion was destroyed on a video uploaded to [[YouTube]] on 20 October 2008.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-TP2wCucZo]</ref>

===Simonla's Death===
On 13 February 2010, Chris e-mailed [[Evan]], revealing two pages that were slated to appear in Sonichu 10. In these pages, Chris (who obviously is NOT pulling himself out of the comic) admits that [[Asperchu]] is not as bad as it seems, and begs for forgiveness from Evan and the rest. As he speaks, [[Simonla]] asks [[Wild]] to hold her bags while she goes to the bathroom. In the bathroom, the toilet she's in explodes. Simonla has just enough time to tearfully hand Wild her <s>special drill bit</s> lucky shark's tooth before [[Bill the Scientist|Bill the <s>Scientist</s>Doctor]] tells Wild that she died. (In the explosion scene, only the bathroom door is shown, and Simonla's death is not actually shown on page. This directly contradicts the instructions Evan repeatedly gave Chris, where Simonla was supposed to die on page.) Wild mourns for one panel before Magi-Chan reveals the location of her murderer, and Wild declares revenge.

The preview was the end result of an ongoing tug of war between Chris and Evan over the use of Simonla Rosechu. Evan had wanted Simonla pulled out of the comics ASAP, but Chris, being [[Ego|Chris]], refused. When Evan told Chris to kill Simonla, Chris refused, stating that it [[Chris and reality|would upset Wild Sonichu]]<ref>[[Mailbag 26]]</ref>. This war of words would culminate in Evan getting the CWCipedia shut down, forcing Chris to either swallow his pride or start hunting down a new web server. Chris, lazy fuck that he is, chose the former for the benefit of mankind.

On 25 February 2010, Chris revised those pages, revealing without a doubt that it was Evan, Sean, Mao and Alec who killed Simonla and viciously slaying the four of them. The Asperpedia Four responded by giving control of the CWCipedia ads back to [[Jack Thaddeus]], who proceeded immediately to renew his campaign to flood Chris's website with [[homo]] [[pickles]]. On 1 March 2010, Chris announced via his [[Twitter]] account that he would be re-revising the end of Sonichu 10 in order to make peace with Alec and company- probably in the hope that doing so will result in Jack removing his dreadfully pornographic ads. Unsurprisingly, this never happened.

==See also==
*[[Blanca]]
*[[Medallion of Fail]]
*[[Amnyfest Ring]]

==Sauces==
<references/>

==External links==
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_1 Sonichu #10]
*[http://cogsdev.110mb.com/sonichu/SchuComic10Preview.htm Sonichu #10 Preview]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgLZjhsmgpY Audiobook (erroneously referred to as a preview of #9)]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Ickeriss69 Youtube profile containing three videos proving the fate of the original Sonichu Medallions] 

{{Sonichu}}

[[Category:Sonichu comic book issues]]

Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008

2010-09-12T19:04:56Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113241 by Level1isbest (talk)

'''Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008''' (officially '''Chris Chan Update October 21, 2008''').

[[Christian]] issues a statement on [[Blanca]] breaking up with him over the photo of himself wearing his mother's underwear. He also takes time to complain about rickyricardo123 stealing his [[Medallion of Fail|medallion]] and [[Jimmy Hill]] plagiarizing his [[Sonichu]]. Christian may be at his lowest point in this clip, at least up until [[CWC is Sad|nearly one year later]].

==Video==
<center>{{Infobox/video
| name = Chris Chan Update 21 October 2008
| image = {{#ev:youtube|qVgwsrG63f0}}
| Stardate = 21 [[October 2008]]
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Tragedy}}Tragedy
| Saga = {{Blanca}}[[Blanca]] Saga; {{Hill}}[[Jimmy Hill|Hill]] Saga
| Shirt = [[Image:Horizontalredshirt.png]] Horizontal red shirt
| previous = [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008#Video|Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]
| next = [[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008#Video|Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]
}}</center>
{{quote|Let my words speak for themselves.}}
{{quote|You made me crash… into slumber…}}

===Transcript===

[[Image:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|150px|One of the photos that made Blanca leave Chris]]
[[Captain's Log]]. Stardate: October 21st, [[2008]].

[''inhales deeply and [[sigh]]s''] Well… it's done. Mmm. [[Blanca]] and I, well, she broke up with me, 'cause the [[Man in the Pickle Suit|Pickle Man]] tricked me again. A few more stupid photos. [''sighs''] Anyway, she saw them, she got angry, she broke up with me. So… I'm sad.

And… the void in my heart that requires a [[sweetheart]] is open again, and it hurts. I hope you [[jerks]] and [[trolls]] who wanted to break us up… are happy… 'cause all you did was make me feel sad and depressed. And you made me ''crash''… into slumber… a couple of times. And you know, it takes a lot of [[stress]] and exhaust… and such… to make a person feel like they're gonna ''crash'' and burn… into a whole bunch of s-- into a long slumber… that just basically sleeps o-- that just basically sleeps off the-- uh, what's the word I was looking for? I had it. Ugh…

Anyway… we're broken up, you jer-- I hope you jerks are happy. So, anyway, I'm sad, and Blanca is sad, too… w-- uh, even more sad because… ''her grandma died.'' [''inhales deeply and coughs'']

And, uh, as-- and I know the name… of the, uh, guy who, uh, did that to the medal in that video. His screen name is rickyricardo123, but in real life, his name is Ricky. So… anyway… he's either somewhere in Kentucky… or somewhere in Illinois. More likely in Kentucky, so… if anybody knows him, bring him in to justice! Turn him in to the police department. I want to make an example out of that bastard.

[''sighs''] Anyway, other updates… uh… don't really have too many other updates at the moment… so, uh…

You know, [[PandaHalo]] is the moderator for the fan site, on, uh-- that I have officially approved… so… she's also helping me against, uh… the impostor [[Jimmy Hill]]. Again, do not buy anything from that… ''bastard'' impostor… 'cause y'all know he did the same thing to Warner Bros. years ago, and he was put to jail for it. So, he deserves to be put in jail ''again''… or otherwise, uh, somebody who's ''posing'' as Jimmy Hill… uh, in this case, this guy still needs to be put in jail.

So… yeah. Imprison the, uh, Ricky… and the Jimmy, or the impostor known as “Jimmy Hill”. That's it for now. I'm gonna sulk some more, and maybe I'll upload this video. I don't know.

Y'all take care and be safe.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008]]|nextlink=[[Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008]]|}}

{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2008-10-21]]

Flipnote Hatena

2010-09-12T19:04:30Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113244 by Level1isbest (talk)

{{protip|Reporting Chris's animations to get him banned is as retarded as calling him and shouting "JULAY" down the line. It achieves nothing.}}
[[File:100 0682.JPG|thumb|Chris on his DSi at [[Fridays After Five]], complete with Artist Asscrack]]

'''Flipnote Studio''' is a free downloadable application for the [[Nintendo]] DSi. It allows users to create both word and picture-based notes with the stylus, add sound, and put them together to create frame-by-frame flipbook-style animations. '''Flipnote Hatena''' is a website where users can upload and share their Flipnote creations, and other users can comment on them either by text, or by creating a flipnote.

In [[June 2010]], [[Chris]] was spotted at a [[Fridays After Five]] event in [[Charlottesville]]. Among some very disturbing behavior, Chris was seen sitting down and playing with his DSi for some time while at this event. It later came to light that, after [[June062010.MOV|leaving the internet forever]], he was now spending his time on Flipnote Hatena, drawing comments in reply to various Flipnotes. Being a retard, he helped [[Clyde_Cash|a valiant troll]] to find him by registering with his full name.

After a little more than two weeks of shameless self-promotion and sharing his creepy sex fantasies with the world, Chris got himself banned. Chris's account became active again on 24 July.

==Chris's Flipnote career==
[[File:FlipnoteSonichu.png|thumb|Futher proof, as if needed, that Sonichu will dominate every aspect of Chris's life until the day he dies.]]

Predictably, Chris's first contribution to the Flipnote community was a picture of [[Sonichu]], posted on 17 June. Over the next two weeks, he added several more Flipnotes featuring a mixture of his trademark anti-humor and whining about the trolls.

Chris's Flipnotes swipe freely from various sources of "inspiration." He ripped off some other users' Flipnotes almost wholesale, and also plagiarized the 1983 animated ''Peanuts'' cartoon [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHDnc19mHv0I#t=00m58s "Sally at School"] to produce two of his shorts. He stole the dialogue from the first few minutes almost verbatim (the word "princess" is replaced with "sexy, beautiful woman" because Chris has a one-track mind) and used them in his crude animations.

At the same time, he also posted a number of comments on other Flipnotes (excerpted below) and added a lot of stars on his own creations to give himself praise. He gave himself 10 on [[HippoOnYourHead]] and 91 on [[Don'tGetTrolled]]. Chris has done countless things to inflate his [[ego]] in the past, but this is just sad.

On 29 June, Chris first drew the attention of the site's administrators with [[RomanticLabyrinth]]. This Flipnote was likely taken down for being too sexually explicit, but other videos with less risque content were taken down as well. Flipnote Hatena's terms of use are very strict when it comes to the sharing of personal information, and we all know Chris can't resist [[Chris and his Ego|autographing everything he's ever made]]. The site also frowns upon the infringement of intellectual property rights, which is of course Chris's stock in trade.

Over the next few days, Chris failed to get the message and repeatedly re-uploaded several of his deleted Flipnotes. On the third version of RomanticLabyrinth, Chris accused the trolls of trying to make him look [[homosexual]], and stubbornly tried to reupload the Flipnote to prove otherwise. The site's administrators ran out of patience on 2 July and banned him.

Note that the moderators of the site are, by nature of their position, no doubt well aware of how trolling and various other forms of Internet harassment work. Despite what Chris would have you believe, they would never have punished him for what someone else did in his comments section. Unlike Chris, they don't have an effectively infinite amount of time to dick around on the Internet, so they don't take kindly to flag abuse, either. Someone didn't give him exactly what he wanted so he decided to go out of his way to flip his shit and get himself banned, without trying to be banned and without ever understanding the reasons for being banned, from yet another public venue that [[The GAMe PLACe|dozens]], [[Charlottesville Fashion Square|hundreds]], [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|thousands]], or [[YouTube|millions]] of people use every day without issue, proving once again that no one can troll Chris better than Chris trolls himself.

==Chris's Flipnotes return==
Showing once again that he never learns, on 24 July a number of Chris's Flipnotes reappeared, including the "tame" version of RomanticLabyrinth. They were not accompanied by any new Flipnotes. This time, though, he disabled comments on all his submissions, perhaps working on the assumption that it was the comments from trolls (and not the content of his Flipnotes) that led to his original ban. However, Chris kept his full name on each and every one. Chris has yet to upload any new animations since.

Within two days after Chris's return to the site, several of his Flipnotes disappeared from his account, including RomanticLabyrinth and others that had been deleted before for violating the TOS. He later reuploaded the deleted Flipnotes but replaced the NSFW RomanticLabyrinth with the edited version. Currently, it seems like that after the ''sixth time'' reuploading these animations, none of them are being taken down. Either this is because the mods have tired of dealing with his bullshit, or because trolls tend to not report him anymore.

Around the beginning of August, Chris signed up for a "Plus" account on the site, which grants a variety of extra features to users who pay a premium. They can use emoticons and colors in their comments and see detailed statistics about who views their Flipnotes (which would no doubt be a boost to Chris's infamous ego). For a year's subscription, Chris would have to shell out $33 worth of his monthly tugboat, but it's possible that he only signed on for the month-long free trial.

==Chris's Flipnotes==
:''Main Article: [[List of Flipnotes]]''

==Chris's comments==
Chris's comments on Flipnote Hatena were much like his comments anywhere else on the [[Internet]], self-centered and devoid of any follow-up. While most of them were short negative statements towards works he thought were a little too trollish, one five-part self-pitying rant, posted in response to a song about trolling, stood out.

{{quotebox|You're singing [[Song of Christian|my song]]. I was [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|Internet Famous]]... HUGE MISTAKE! Right now, [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|I have removed Most Every... thing about myself... ...from the internet.]] now there is only [[Honest Content|FALSE info]] on me that THEY have crafted and spread to Bad-Rep me. And worse they've found me in R. Life to catch footage of me for their [[Laughs Under Lucricities|gross, uncool amusement]]. I WANT TO GO BACK TO A NORMAL REAL LIFE [[Internet#Attempts_to_leave_the_Internet|OFF THE FRIGGIN' INTERNET!!!]] AND I WANT MY "REP" CLEAN OF THEIR CRAP! DO you have any advice to help me clear their crap off me?}}

<center><gallery>
File:Flipnote Comment-Boo.png|"Boo!" <ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/528A60A031CE1B4A@DSi/movie/CE1B4A_0913C2B460C58_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Louder.png|"Could you make the voice louder + easier to comprehend, please?"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5FC3E3901E322457@DSi/movie/322457_090A9EC784BF8_004</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-My Trolls.png|"My Trolls did that to [[:Category:Chris's websites|my past websites]] too. I felt [[CWC is Sad|hurt deeply]] too."<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09B980C6E6C6C_008</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Raised Eyebrow.png| "C.W.C"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/564B6A901E271928@DSi/movie/271928_09116B059D18A_000</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-Cow.png|Some other retarded comment about a cow<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5CBA58B0A0E99197@DSi/movie/E99197_09C227C76EF8A_013</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 1.png|Part 1<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 2.png|Part 2
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 3.png|Part 3
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 4.png|Part 4
File:Flipnote Comment-YHBT 5.png|Part 5<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/556109A0A0F27939@DSi/movie/F27939_09D08B2023EB4_016</ref>
File:HippoHeadComment.png|Response to comment in "Hippo on your head"<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09D7F00037B5A_000#5348F770A0A92AE8-c11540466809528558685</ref>
File:Diamon1.png|
File:Diamon2.png|
File:Diamon3.png|
File:Flipbookhonorroll.png|True words of [[honor roll|geinus]]
File:Flipnotegood.png|If Chris says you're a good artist, you must be really good!
File:Flipnotevoice.png|Not a [[pedofork]]!
File:CWCcomment1.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 "That was Sweeet.] I can tell you have a [[Bubbles|bubbly]] personality from your style. Your [[JERK|Boyfriend]] is lucky to...
File:CWCcomment2.gif|[http://flipnote.hatena.com/576180F0F36A6A8B@DSi/movie/6A6A8B_09D6FA90869AD_000 ...to have a] [[gal-pal|gal]] like you. :) Stay Sweet & Safe, Christian Weston Chandler. PS: Thanks for Faving me <strike>something</strike> back.
File:Flipnoteninja.png|
File:11542841929539631934 o.gif|Not a quid-pro-quo!<ref>http://flipnote.hatena.com/567831A059A36B1E@DSi/movie/A36B1E_09DD2199440AE_000</ref>
</gallery></center>

Comment left on other videos without a picture:

*"Why can't I find THIS FlipNote on my DSi, even through YOUR Profile's Posted F.N. pages? I want to download it; it IS funny. [:)]" (In response to a flipnote that is completely ripped off from ''[[Family Guy]]''.)

==Chris's Favorites==
What Chris has favored should not come as a surprise. A lot of them involve ''[[Sonic]]'', ''[[Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Family Guy]]'', proving that, even after all this time, he still likes those series. In addition, Chris has favored a number of [[gal-pal|female-drawn]] animations, done in [[anime]]-like styling and done with a particularly ''shoujo-ai''/''yuri'' ([[homos|lesbian]], for those not into animu) flavor.

==Sockpuppets==
Chris apparently registered several sockpuppet accounts to favorite himself and give high ratings. As of this writing, [[RomanticLabyrinth]] has over 10,000 stars. This is reminiscent of his campaign to cheat in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]], in which he freely admitted to voting for himself multiple times.

Suspected sockpuppets include: [http://flipnote.hatena.com/EnterGodmode/following EnterGodmode], [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichuwulf/following Sonichuwulf], and [http://flipnote.hatena.com/sonichu4ever/following Sonichu4ever].

==Sauces==
<references />

==External links==
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/ Chris's Flipnote Hatena profile]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/comments Flipnotes Chris left comments on]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/following Flipnotes from creators Chris is following]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/Sonichu/favorites Flipnotes Chris starred as favorites]
*[http://flipnote.hatena.com/ch/11543000155817181722 The official Sonichu Flipnote Channel.]

[[Category:Flipnote Hatena]]
[[Category:Historical Documents]]
[[Category:Hobbies]]
[[Category:Websites]]

NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!

2010-09-12T19:03:55Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113243 by Level1isbest (talk)

'''NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!!''' is a video uploaded 14 [[August 2009]]. This is Chris's response to [[CChanSonichuCWC]]'s finale. The video contains the first appearance of Chris's sign to save [[McIntire Park]], which appears later in a video recorded from [[Charlottesville]] public access television.

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}

{{Infobox/video
| name = NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTER
| image = {{#ev:youtube|MqNhOEBVxtk}}
| imagewidth = 250
| Stardate = 14 August 2009
| Maker = [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
| Performance Style = {{Rage|text}}
| Saga = {{Liquid}} [[Liquid]]
| Shirt = {{RedBlackTrim}} Red with Black Trim
| previous = [[CWC Public Disclaimer]]
| next = [[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]
}}

===Transcript===
[[Image:Sonichu_Rosechu_Save_McIntire_by_Cwcipedia.jpg|thumb|Save it to the extreme, you two!]]
Oh no you don't Chris! You're not getting away that easy! You do all that, [[Chris and the Law|I will SUE your sorry ass]]. And I wanna tell [[Shigeru Miyamoto|Nintendo]] in Redmond right away to stop you, because they know as well as I do. I sent them a letter previously months and months ago for the origi-for the original printout of the [[Sonichu 0|Number Zero book]]. They know! They have the records. ''They know''. I have been a customer of them FOR YEARS! They have had my money a bunch of times! Long before I made up with Sony and gave them [[monthly tugboat|over two th...]] Hah... [''Does an incredibly gay hand gesture; then makes an odd squealing sound''] Nintendo has like five TH- over five thousand dollars worth between me and my parents but anyway. I'm st... Anyway, you are not-you will not succeed. [''Points finger at camera''] You are the IMPOSTOR!

[''backs away from the camera''] YOU ARE THE IMPOSTOR! STOP - THAT - BROWN - STRIPED - IN - THE... SHIRT... [''nods head''] WITH THE PAPER MEDALLION! STOP THAT IMPOSTOR [''Shows a drawn cardboard, the Sonichu [[McIntire Park]] sign''] [[Sonichu|SONICHU]] AND [[Rosechu|ROSECHU]] ARE MINE ''ALONE''. I AM THE Christian Weston Chandler, [''begins to speed his speech''] born with the birth name of [[Christopher's name change|Christopher]] on February 24th [[1982]], I'm the one [[Bob Chandler|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr]] as my father and [[Barbara Anne Weston Chandler]] as my mother, [[14 Branchland Court]] [[Ruckersville]], Virginia 22968 434 990 0198 STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, ''EVERYTHING! STOP HIM!'' HE DESERVES ''NOTHING!''

{{RageQuote|DUUUUUHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIEEEEE YOU}}

[jump cut]

[''reappears without glasses'']Especially after I disclaimer video I made where I told them by not to buy anything from you, I warn Nintendo, and [[Hex Bawx|Microsoft]], and Sony, do not buy anything from him either, HE'S the impostor, I'M the real deal, LOOK AT THE HISTORY ON [[ED]] AND EVERYWHERE ELSE. You will rot in jail, mister... ssss... you will rot in jail, Nintendo has known me for years, slala... so much longer, practically my whole lifetime. They know me. And they know you to be the impostor. You go into Nintendo's doors, they ''will'' kick your ass out. Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, STOP HIM! PUT HIM IN JAIL! CALL THE [[jerkops|POLICE]] ON HIM! Anybody else, in my [[True and Loyal Fanbase|true loyal fanbase]], do the same thing, please help me, put him in jail when you see his sorry face. And you know what? Let's top this off. Right now. No ''Shin'', we're going for the original. Just for that impostor that has worn the brown stripes all this time. Hmmm... Curse-ye-ha-me...

{{RageQuote|''HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!''}}

[''jump cut'']

Call the police on him. [[Stress sigh|(Sighs)]] Have a nice day.

==See also==
*[[Death threats]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[CWC Public Disclaimer]]|nextlink=[[The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who]]|}}
{{The Cwcivil War of 2009}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

Sonichu Balls

2010-09-12T19:03:28Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113245 by Level1isbest (talk)

''This article is about the seven magic crystal spheres. For information on Sonichu's testicles, see [[Sonichu 8]].''

[[Image:Sonichuballs.jpg|thumb|right|<s>What about them, [[Darkbind]]?</s> [[homos|Balls are touching]].]]
[[Image:Sb3.jpg|thumb|right|The seven balls.]]

The [[Sonichu Balls]] are the seven big [[South Park|salty balls]] our heroes desperately yearn for. In the comic, [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] was once seen holding on tightly to a pair of these balls.

In the [[Official Videobooks]] Chris begins to refer to them as '''[[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|"Sonichu Crystals"]]''', presumably to quell all the balls jokes. Still, the story's still about a group of guys leaving their women behind as they all go out to look for multicolored crystals, so... yeah. He also calls them "'''Sonichu Ball Crystals'''" from time to time, making the whole endeavor pointless (and actually ''more'' [[homos|gay]]).

Chris retconned the Balls ''yet again'' in [[Sonichu 10]], where they became "'''Chaotic Crystals'''". This further cemented their status as [[Things Chris has ripped off|rip-offs of Chaos Emeralds]].

Despite all the retconning of the name, they don't resemble crystals in any way.
==Origin==

As revealed [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Sonichu#Slaweel_and_Graduon_Entraps_Crystal.2FNaitsirch_Transforms here], the Sonichu Balls were created by the same rainbow that was unleashed by [[Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]]'s creation, going all the way back to 1900, trapping it inside a Ancient Tablet in the world of [[Chris and his Ego|Rulecwc]]

According to [[Darkbind Sonichu]], the Sonichu Balls were unleashed from an ancient tablet by the evil and highly original wizard [[Clawdorf]]. Clawdorf used the power to curse Darkbind's gal-pal [[Zelina Rosechu]] into a magic sleep. In the process, however, Clawdorf was turned to stone, leaving Darkbind to gather the Sonichu Balls and use them to break the curse. How Darkbind knows this will work, and why the Sonichu Balls were scattered throughout the world in the first place, are never explained.
==Summary==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Image
!Color
! Introduced
! Location
!Recovered by
|-
|[[File:Sb1.jpg]]
|Red & light blue
|''[[Sonichu 6]]''
|Owned by [[Darkbind Sonichu]]
|[[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb2.jpg]]
|Yellow
|''[[Sonichu 6]]''
|Unknown
|[[Magi-Chan]]
|-
|[[File:Sb4.jpg]]
|Purple
|''[[Sonichu 6]]''
|Kay Jewelers store, [[CWCville Mall]]
|Stolen by [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Blake|Black Sonichu]], then taken by [[Bionic the Hedgehog]]
|-
|[[File:Sb5.jpg]]
|White
|''[[Sonichu 7]]''
|Gym of [[Manchester High School]], [[1996]]
|[[Magi-Chan]], [[Sonichu]] and [[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
|[[File:Sb6.jpg]]
|Blue
|''[[Sonichu 8]]''
|An empty room in the [[4-cent_garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Building]], Clarksville, Tennessee
|[[Wild Sonichu]]
|-
|[[File:Sb7.jpg]]
|Light green
|''[[Sonichu 8]]''
|Five miles off the Virginia coastline
|[[Bubbles Rosechu]]
|}

==Influences==

Like anything else in ''Sonichu'', the Sonichu Balls appear to be little more than a mish-mash of other people's ideas. The three most likely sources are as follows:

Superficially, the Sonichu Balls most closely resemble Pokéballs, the red and white containers used by [[Pokémon]] Trainers to keep their Pokémon in when they're not engaged in bloodsport.

However, each Sonichu Ball is a different color, reminiscent of the Chaos Emeralds, seven multi-colored jewels featured in the "Sonic the Hedgehog" video games, which featured heavily in the origin of most of Chris' shitty characters.

Finally, the search for the Sonichu Balls bears some resemblance to the [[Dragon ball Z|Dragon Balls]], seven orange balls which, when gathered together summon a magic dragon who grants a wish. The Dragon Balls scatter after each wish, meaning they have to be tracked down again every time they're used, which might explain why the Sonichu Balls had to be located after Clawdorf unleashed them.

==Powers==

No one knew what the hell the Sonichu Balls were supposed to do. If they're anything like the Dragon Balls, they would summon Sonichu, except he's always around anyway, so what good would that do? Dumbass.
[[Image:219-UltraSchuPose.jpg|right|thumb|200px|ULTRA SONICHU! (aka Down's Syndrome Sonichu)]]
Since they're essentially just stand-ins for the [[Chaos Emeralds]], however, collecting them all gives Sonichu the power to transform temporarily into [[Ultra Sonichu]], Chris's long hinted-at "super" form of Sonichu. However, there was no indication that this would happen in the series until it just kind of... did.

Reldnahc attempted to aim one of the Balls like a weapon, although he never got the chance to use it, so there's no telling what, if anything, it would have done.

For most of the series, the Sonichu Balls mostly just seem to screw people over. They turned [[Clawdorf]] to stone, glow at inappropriate times, and fling people into "time voids". For some reason, holding two of the Sonichu Balls caused Wild's invisibility power to konk out, and [[Blake]] got owned by a trannie because Bubbles was searching for another. It wouldn't have surprised anyone if they exploded or something once they were all in the same room. Instead they just turned Chris into slightly more of a Mary Sue.

''[[Sonichu 10]]'' shows that [[gay|holding a Ball or two]] can at least increase [[Magi-Chan]]'s psychic powers enough for him to travel reliably through time, before finally being used for presumably their true purpose as [[Chaos Emeralds|Chaos Emerald]] ripoffs: transforming Sonichu into his [[Ultra Sonichu|Super Form]]. It also allows Chris to transform into his [[Collosal Chan|hobo form]].

Another curious property of the Sonichu Balls is that they can be absorbed into a person's arms. In the time void, the two Balls Chris holds enter his arms for no obvious reason (likely, just so Chris wouldn't have to draw them regularly). Later, Wild prays to the Sonichu Balls or something, and they disappear into his arms, enabling him to use his hands. After he escapes the 4-cent_Garbage Building, he says a silly rhyme to command the Balls to rematerialize. How he knows to do any of this is--yep, you guessed it--never explained. You'd almost think Chris didn't put very much thought into this storyline.

==Appearances==
===Brief glimpse===

[[Image:227-SchuBall.jpg|thumb|The mysterious ball]]

One of the Sonichu Balls was first glimpsed in [[Sonichu 0|Sonichu #0]], when Chris drew it for no apparent reason on some unused space of a page of Sub-Episode 1.
===The search begins===

The Sonichu Balls would not be mentioned again until [[Sonichu 6|Sonichu #6]], when [[Magi-Chan]] theorizes that the combined power of "all seven" Sonichu Balls could free [[Crystal Weston Chandler (character)|Crystal]] from the [[Dark Mirror Hole]], based on the mirror's reaction to the one Sonichu Ball in their possession.

Magi-Chan never explains how he learned of the Sonichu Balls, or how they found the one he has. Nevertheless, the next several episodes of the series are dedicated to the hedgehogs' quest to hunt down the other six Balls. Magi-Chan suggests the seven Chaos Emeralds as a possible alternative, but this is never explored.

Since the Sonichu Balls glow when two or more of them are in proximity to each other, Magi-Chan discovers Darkbind's two Sonichu Balls during their conference in Sonichu #6. Coincidentally, a fourth happens to be in the Kay Jewelers store in [[CWCville Mall]], which is stolen almost immediately after Magi-Chan and Darkbind's balls are first revealed.

The thieves, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]] and [[Black Sonichu]] use explosives in a daring daylight robbery. Reldnahc boasts that the Sonichu Ball will help him take over the world, and when Chris confronts him, he wields the Sonichu Ball as a weapon, threatening to finish Chris off. His attack is prevented by the timely ambush of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]], who recovers the Sonichu Ball and gives it to Chris. For those of you keeping score, that makes four Sonichu Balls out of seven recovered within 23 pages.

===Random locations===
The search continues in [[Sonichu 7|Sonichu #7]], when Magi-Chan uses one of the balls in conjunction with his psychic powers to locate the fifth ball in Manchester High School, but stuck in the recent past. Together with [[Sonichu]] and Chris, Magi-Chan leads an expedition back in time to 1996, when the Sonichu Ball materialized and hit Chris on his head the day he created Bionic the Hedgehog. Sort of like the apple hitting Isaac Newton, only with more fail.

After successfully retrieving the Sonichu Ball, the trio return to their own time, but Chris, holding his two Balls in his hands, is flung into the [[Time_Void|time void]], apparently propelled by some unexplained energy burst from the Sonichu Balls. Magi-Chan expresses confidence that Chris can be brought back, but is uncertain as to when.

In the meantime, Magi-Chan continues tracking down the remaining Sonichu Balls. He detects the sixth in the [[4-cent garbage.com|4-Cent_Garbage Building]] in Clarksville, Tennessee, and dispatches [[Wild|Wild Sonichu]] to retrieve it while Sonichu and [[Rosechu]] meet with [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] to protest the [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris-Chan]] page. Wild sneaks into the building undetected, and discovers the Ball stored in an empty room.

The seventh Sonichu Ball is detected five miles off the Virginia coastline during CWCville's Spring Break, and Magi-Chan sends [[Bubbles|Bubbles Rosechu]] to locate it. She recovers the Ball without incident and [[Angelica|Angelica Rosechu]] flies it back to CWCville Mall.

===Chris returns===

With the other five Sonichu Balls gathered in Christian's office, all that remains is for Chris himself to return from the time void, along with the two Balls in his possession. [[Sonichu 9]] has been completed, and it turns out Chris just kind of fell out of the Time Void on his own, but the story ended before anything significant could happen with the Two Balls Chris gripped firmly during his journey through time and space.

Darkbind seemed somewhat concerned at first that sharing his Balls with the others would endanger his plans for them. This suggests that the Sonichu Balls can only be used once, although this doesn't matter because Crystal is freed from the mirror and Zelina is revived with just one use of the balls.

===With our powers combined...===

After Chris spends thirty pages or so killing trolls, wasting time on plans and the like, Chris finally uses the damn things, transforming himself and Sonichu into [[Collosal Chan]] and [[Ultra Sonichu]]. Chris uses his power to just walk in and pull Crystal out of the Mirror with very little fanfare. Sonichu uses his power to wake up Zelina Rosechu, who replies to her predicament with "Awww". The two reunite and fly to Minnesota and [[Asperchu|Alec Benson Leary's]] home, where Chris invades Alec's computer, deletes the Asperpedia, steals a dating sim and blows up his [[Hex Bawx]]. Sonichu, however, finds Asperchu and the Sonichu and Chaotic Combo of that universe and proceeds to use "Chaotic Remedy" to rid them of their personality(which he mistakes for Aspergers Syndrome). Collosal Chris-Chan arrives to much fanfare and, after a brief battle with Metal Asperchu, does not much else with his God-like powers until he eventually confronts Mary Lee Walsh. As Sonichu was clearly able to defeat her in his normal form in the previous issue, but chose not to as it was Chris's right to defeat her, there's absolutely no point in Chris wasting his super form on this fight.

[[Category:Sonichu]]
[[Category: Plot Devices]]

10 September 2009

2010-09-12T19:03:09Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Undo revision 113246 by Level1isbest (talk)

"'''10 September 2009'''" (officially "'''09102009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] utterly dismisses a possible interview with [[Wikipedia:Veronica Belmont|Veronica Belmont]] of ''[[PS3|PlayStation]] Magazine Europe'' as a troll, continuing to display his utter paranoia and control over what he wants to do and how he wants it. Just in case she ''isn't'' a troll, however, he assures her that he would happily agree to an interview on the grounds that she go to his house personally to request it from him. He then rambles incoherent compliments at her, presumably so she'd be more inclined to [[Kacey|come to his house and let him eat his own sperm off her chest]].

'''Official description:''' [none]

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 10 September 2009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|aPngnFDxQmA}}
| stardate = 10 [[September 2009]]
| subject = {{Video games|text}}
| shirt = {{RedShirt2|text}}
| previous = [[Sign_Destruction_Video| Sign Destruction Video]]
| next = [[Chris_dispels_videogame_rumors| Chris dispels videogame rumours]]
}}

===Transcript===

''[Chris is standing there, [[Gitar of Fail]] around his neck, [[High School ring]] flashed]''

[[Captain's Log]], Nine-Ten-Oh Nine. I have received a-- I recently received a phone call on the home phone, ah, from, ah, person that is supposedly of the ''PlayStation Magazine'' in, uh, Europe. Call came restricted, did not leave a call back number, did not call back later, so, she is assumed [[troll]].

I mean, if-a... ''[Stammers a lot]'' I would BELIEVE I was going to be interviewed for real for a magazine instead of a fake interview, I would believe it, IF Veronica Belmont of PlayStation Corp. PERSONALLY came to the front door of my house, here in [[Ruckersville, VA]], and ASKED me, and PERSONALLY asked me to an-- for an interview... ''[Nods head]'' I would gladly accept that.

But, anyway, Veronica, if you're watching this? ''[Thumbs up]'' You did an awesome job on ''[[Wikipedia:Qore (Playstation Network)|Qore]]'', keep it up. Really enjoyed, y'know, about, I mean, it was so cool, you know, you became an honorary Gamer Girl, I think it was, with that fancy shirt, I remember that, and all the other memorable moments since, you know, episode one. ''[Creepy smirk]'' And also, I like your recent interview with Jay Leno, that was good, and also I know you love ''[[Little Big Planet]]'', so, you know, I got a few levels up there on my PlayStation ID as [[Sonichu]], and thanks again for adding me as a friend. ''[Another thumbs up]'' You accepted my request.

''[Stares into space for a bit]''

So, anyway, with that, a—wah, leave everyone in peace to know that, I'm on to, ah—bdah, the trolls, I'm on to your game. I kn- I know you call your quote/unquote "interviews" to be false, so therefore - back off. And back off on everything else you're trolling doing because you're so trolling stupid.

Peace to everyone else, [[curse]] to the trolls.

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Sign Destruction Video]]|nextlink=[[Chris dispels videogame rumors]]|}}
{{Captain's Log}}

[[Category: Captain's log entries| 2009-09-10]]
[[Category: Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2010-09-12T19:01:20Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: rv/v

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|Weapon of choice]]

Though he's a grown adult, at least physically, [[Chris]] is not above throwing tantrums and generally being a nuisance in public places like the manchild he really is. Due to his terrible behavior, Chris has been '''banned''' from many places. Some of them have been temporary, some of them permanent. It just proves that Chris can't go anywhere without screwing it up for himself.

==Locations==

===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. The permaban came on 28 August 2008, when Chris got confrontational with a [[niggo|black]] child.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was trolling him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Wal-Mart}}

Chris was twice kicked out of Wal-Mart. On 23 June 2005, the manager of the store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to arrest Chris for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June 2005, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but being the stubborn, pig-headed, [[JERK]]-hating manchild he is, he refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late 2009, he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

===Target===
{{main|Target}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. Pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

===Burger King===

On the morning of July 3rd, a field agent reported that he spotted Chris and his father at a local Burger King. Bob was arguing with the cashier over exactly how much he was supposed to pay for his coffee--likely because he'd arrived too late to get a discount on it. At some point during the fight, Chris joined in and [[Chris and Anger|yelled "so loud, it would awaken the dead"]]. Bob may have also accused the cashier of racism due to him being white. If they're both not banned from the establishment already, we can safely assume that they're not going back.

==Web sites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without the proper filters. The first time was around May 2009, most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles]] in [[Sonichu 8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris has abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 July 2009.

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Chris and Wikipedia}}

On May 1, 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward. His user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a sockpuppet of a troll and not the genuine article), and the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from returning.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on 2 July 2010. However Chris has managed to evade his ban by, apparently, purchasing a new DSi.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "Wolf Cub Scouts" in the late 80s because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|Mailbag 18]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st birthday, 24 February 2003. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to Emily, however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October 2003, dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and Anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a psychiatrist and go to anger management classes (all of which have [[fail]]ed).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in 2008. He claimed in an email with lordsillynipples, "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of women in bikinis on my Facebook; he was offended." Going by his behavior with his current congregation, it is not unlikely that he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that he'd make the congregation vandalize the page for him.

[[Category:Chris-chan]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Camerawork

2010-08-31T15:51:03Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: Redirected page to Chris and Camerawork

#REDIRECT [[Chris and Camerawork]]

File talk:Choicevideos.PNG

2010-08-22T18:58:42Z

2010-08-08T07:13:32Z

Munch Banchibokkusu: /* chris at faf again */

__NEWSECTIONLINK__

{{Community Portal}}

For discussion that doesn't fit into the other community pages - though do keep it related to the CWCki.

==Hey people, how about those Mumble chats?==
I've started a "10 minutes at a time" project to finish transcribing mumbles. Transcribing sucks, but 10 minutes in one go can relieve the strain on the people transcribing. Especially since if we get 10 or more people on board, transcribing a Mumble can be finished in the space of a couple of days instead of one person over the course of 10 days. I have a couple of people on board, but it would be nice to have several more. For the specifics of how it works, go to my [[User:Fuckingstupid|user page]]. [[Mumble_7|The Mumble chat we are currently tackling is #7]]. It would be nice if anyone who has a couple spare hours a day to transcribe a simple 10 minutes. Thanks in advance. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:25, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== Chris and Love Suggestion? ==
I was thinking we should add a new article on the "Chris and...." series. Perhaps "Romance"? Maybe give an insight on his idea of being romantic. I feel we could write good article on this. There's a shit load of cheesy awkward sayings. Also,an observation on his behavior on dates with trolls could be good. Just a thought. --[[User:Bealtespip122]]

* Not a bad idea. Because Chris has blurred the line between romance and sex. With him, it's one in the same. Would be interesting to poke at I think. [[User:Chris_Pickles|Chris_Pickles]]

Aye, "romance" to him is just a means to an end. He sees act of dating as not about two people enjoying each others company, it's just to test compatibility so they can eventually fuck. Anything beyond that is just a ruse to keep the woman interested. I can't imagine him having a sincere desire to have an emotional connection with another human being, he just wants to be coddled and pleased. --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 05:10, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*[[Love quest]] more or less seems to cover this.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 05:38, 16 July 2010 (UTC)

*I'd say the Love Quest really covers his attempts at "reelin' in da ladiez" and being thwarted by outside forces. Not so much as a personal insight into what Chris thinks is romantic or sweet. --[[User:Bealtespip122|Bealtespip122]] 16:31, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
** Rather than being covered by the love quest page, it's just mentioned; same treatment for [[Chris and sex]]. The events of the Megan, Ivy, and Wallflower sagas tell a lot about his view of romance. Can't forget the essential McDonald's date either. Without some good writing, though, it might not make the best article. --[[User:Schuzrum-dias|Schuzrum Dias]] 17:35, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
*well he wanted to make " Date Education" apart from sex education, i think a chris and romance, detailing what he thinks is romance would be a nice add to the cwcki.---[[User:Basgon|Basgon]] 17:13, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

== Fridays After Five yet again ==

This probably isn't a big surprise to anyone, but Chris was also at Fridays After Five on July 16th. No pictures, I'm afraid. He was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle, a little mini fan made to look like an iPod, and a hula hoop for some reason. Most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him, nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it said something like "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out. He was sitting on the back grass part and left a few minutes before the music was over. I would have loved to catch Chris's attempts at using the hula hoop, I bet that was funny as hell. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*Good work. Mind getting some pictures next time? [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:28, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
**If I get to Charlottesville again when it's going on, I'll see what I can do. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 03:53, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::*No pressure. It's your prerogative. [[User:CrassCrab|CrassCrab]] 03:59, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::* If you're some tard trying to get attention, fuck you, die. I have to put that disclaimer in nowadays, nothing personal. If you're being TRUE and HONEST, thank you so much for reporting this, because Chris holding something that says "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone" would be the most unintentionally hilarious thing that has ever happened. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:33, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Oh no, this is very real. I have another person confirming the hula hoop thing. The man zone thing is what confirms it. Yeah. It's pretty damn retarded. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:30, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::* Holy shit, I'm just trying to help out during a dry spell and I'm even willing to try going back and get pics, and your reaction is "fuck you, die"? May I also point out that this very site has a giant banner across the top of the main page making in very clear that they want all sightings reported? What on earth is wrong with you? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 14:12, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::*Well, I say thanks for your assistance. Clyde confirms what is obviously good intel. Pics are nice, but hey. Nice find anyhow. Keep up the great work. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:01, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
::::::*Since we have confirmation, I guess I'll add this as a sighting to the Fridays after five article. Thanks a bunch Camelopardalis.--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 16:16, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Thanks, guys. To answer some of the "What, no pictures?!" sentiment, I went there to listen to some music and didn't really expect to see anything photo-worthy. These are local bands that usually play in bars and so on. Lots of people didn't bring cameras, especially as the band was a country-bluegrass bunch, not exactly Lady Gaga. I'll definitely have a camera along next time, just in case. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 01:51, 20 July 2010 (UTC)
:::::::*Oh, and I think I can explain the hula hoop. If you look at the pictures of Chris at FAF on July 9, the wide shots taken from inside the seats area, not the close-up one on CWCki, there's two young girls and apparently their moms using hula hoops right behind him. I know the general opinion is Chris isn't a pedo, but all it takes is some basic logic that he observed little girls hula hooping at FAF and then brought one the next week himself. Not that creepy behavior is anything new for Chris but following up the kid-photographing incident with this? [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 02:09, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

== "fan works purge", including TV Tropes even here ==

[http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Special:Log/delete Partying like it's 1937] makes me kinda sad. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
* Meh. That Tropes "article" was one of the biggest crimes in CWCki history, and the Charles Wilbur Crushman thing was the first online item I've come across that was such a steaming pile of shit I could actually smell it. The rest I have no comment on, but there was so much selfsucking garbage on here that it justified a deletion policy, and it probably justified said deletion as well. [[User:Sully|Sully]] 05:48, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::Crimes against the people, I guess. Goodbye [http://www.youropinionsarewrong.com/images/random/stalin-airbrush.jpg Comrade T.V. Tropes], hardly we knew ye. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:25, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

:::The whole fan works section was a mistake in the first place. [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:34, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::Counter-revolutionary nest that sabotages and opposes the creative work of the people. --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 06:39, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

::::: shut up, you face [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:42, 19 July 2010 (UTC)

The fan-works thing started out as a few fun little comics and stories that where just basically bored people fucking around and satirizing Chris' shit. Then people started taking it seriously, or trying to become e-famous, or just generally being self important and retarded. The good "fan-works" can be archived and stored elsewhere, because unless it's specifically relevant to Chris or a Chris event it really doesn't belong here.

More importantly, most of the fan-works sucked metric ass, and it was bringing in a massive collection of morons that where really starting to fag up the place. Personally, I think the "fan-works purge" is the best thing to happen to the CWCki in a long time.

: I know I'm late to comment on this, but good grief, am I glad some of the stupid things I did were deleted. Was the whole purpose of the fan works section to make any contributors to realise they suck? =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 03:02, 6 August 2010 (PDT)

== this community portal split idea was retarded ==
a very good post by clydec age 9 [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 06:37, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
*WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SPLIT, BRO.--[[User:Champthom|Champthom]] 17:00, 23 July 2010 (UTC)

== Look what I did ==

I made a couple of userboxes. Use them, disdain/ridicule them, or improve them as you see fit.

—Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] ([[User talk:SeventhBase|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/SeventhBase|contribs]]) 
:Nice work - just enhancing your template links and signing your posts. --[[User:Anonymax|Anonymax]] 17:20, 21 July 2010 (UTC)
:: no these are stupid [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)
::More userboxes are not really what we need right now. --[[User:Fuckingstupid|Fuckingstupid]] 22:30, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

== new idea for speculation ==
speculation runs high. split that up into multiple pages or something [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] 04:54, 22 July 2010 (UTC)

==Chris and relationships==
Just a short idea: There are several categories regarding Chris relationships, aquaintances (for example [[Galpals|Galpals]] "Males Chris doesn't hate") orjust general people he interacted with. I think it might be beneficial to have a kind of overview regarding what people he interacted with in what timeline. Could also be linked under "friends" etc. in order to illustrate the extent of his growing social isolation and successive personal development. -- [[User:Miela|Miela]] 13:22, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

== July 23 Fridays After Five ==

I was at FAF this weekend, didn't stay for the whole thing, I was gone by about 7:30 or so but as far as I could tell Chris wasn't there. Actually the whole thing was pretty dead compared to the usual turnout, especially the lawn area which was almost empty. Heat index was something like 110, so I can't blame him for staying home, unless the reason was that Chris feels he's too heavily monitored at FAF these days. I did remember one more thing about Chris at FAF last week though, he had on dark wraparound sunglasses on... UNDER his regular eyeglasses. [[User:Camelopardalis|Camelopardalis]] 22:25, 24 July 2010 (UTC)
:I guess that confirms his shades aren't prescription. Makes sense, he chose the cheapest frames available for his glasses, why would be spend the money for something expensive like prescription sunglasses? --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 22:28, 24 July 2010 (UTC)

==Modnation Levels==
I don't suppose anybody's actually played any of Chris's levels or anything?

It's completely understandable if nobody wants to play them, given that it's Chris, I'm sure they're all garbage, but currently all we have on his modnation efforts are a bunch of tiny screencaps I took from the website. We covered all of his LBP nonsense in detail, it's kinda weird that nobody's even tried to look into his tracks.

Any intrepid PS3 owners wanna step up?--[[User:Beat|Beat]] 21:30, 26 July 2010 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone else has suggested it already, but I've got a feeling that one of the best ways to reach (and troll) Chris right now is through ModNation, considering he probably spends most of his time there. Just track him down, join him in a game, "befriend" and chat with him... then beat him silly on his own levels and expect lulz. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 06:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

I'm sure everyone would appreciate good let's-play videos of the ModNation levels (along the lines of the LBP owl level preview video). Does ModNation allow recording/playing back online matches? Dramatic replays and dreadful overanalysis of Chris's online games would be terribly appreciated. I mean, I don't watch motorsports, but microsecond-by-microsecond commentary on clumsy moves just might be worth watching. =) --''[[User:Wwwwolf|wwwwolf]]'' ([[User talk:Wwwwolf|wake me when you need me]]) 10:35, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Just a question==
Not sure it this is the right place to ask or talk about a question or if this is old news but forgive me if I am wrong about anything, but may I ask whats the deal with the Cwiki and /cwc/ fighting and every thing can't find anything about whats going?--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 15:47, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*As far as I'm aware, there isn't anything. If you're talking about Delebonte being a fag and making a shittalk template, that doesn't have to do with /cwc/. /cwc/, as I see it, is a place where people go to talk about Chris. It's the watercooler where everyone goes to provide their own theories without threat of retribution. Cwcki is a place where facts are documented and presented. They don't really conflict, and /cwc/ doesn't really seem to be vandalising this site or anything, so I guess you just have bad information. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 15:49, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
Ok thanks, what I got was something about something about legi0n or who ever being mad about furrys being on the cwciki and users being blacklisted by someone but idk, I can't look a the thread right now because when ever i got to the /cwc/ I keep getting the message saying "Website Disabled". but anyway thanks for clearing this up a little for me.--[[User:Kota88|Kota88]] 16:02, 28 July 2010 (UTC)
*I can probably explain that one. People on /cwc/ follow most of the same "rules" as other imageboards (e.g. 4chan, 7chan, etc.) and as such tend to ban furries and stuff because they spam their boards with fetish porn. On the CWCki, this isn't an issue, and so we have a more lax set of rules. For people who don't understand the difference between the two systems, they might be led to believe that we are a furry site, when in fact we are just tolerant. I wouldn't worry about it too much. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 16:10, 28 July 2010 (UTC)

==Old News (Possible Bulbapedia incident)==

Hey, newfag here. On Bulbapedia, there was apparently a small battle over whether or not to make Sonichu as a page, with Chris (obviously) being the sole supporter. A user posted quotes from their supposed discussion here: http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/blog.php?b=15577 Considering said user had no idea who Sonichu was at the time of this discussion, or shortly before I told him a few hours earlier, I'm betting money it actually happened. Thing is, this happened in August of last year, so where should it go? - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 12:47, 30 July 2010 (EST)
:(Are you Brazilian/Portuguese by any chance?) I can't really confirm it's him. The use of "OVER 9" (like that stupid meme), incorrect use of "Your" (he's stupid, but that's not one of his quirks), NOT censoring the F-word with asterisks, as well as calling you a troll outright (though I wouldn't put it past him, frankly) and declaring the "reality" of Sonichu out in the open (he does probably believe this, but he would only insinuate it)... These are rather consistent with a copycat troll than the TRUE and HONEST Chris-chan. But if we DO get a confirmation, it should go in its own article, along with a Da Update showing that new information was unearthed.--[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 05:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
*No, I was born in the Philippines, grew up in America. But anyway, I doubt we'll get any sort of confirmation, Chris has most likely long forgotten about this. I suppose I can ask if any of the conversation is left, but I don't think it'll prove anything. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:10, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Well, this is the only other edit he made. "I would like you to know that Sonichu is a REAL Pokemon. I know, because I have over 9 years of canon from him and his world, and have been in talks with Nintendo to put Sonichu and Rosechu into animal crossing, and have been in talk with Sega to make a Sonichu video game. Please consider this. Thank you. I will dare to keep my dreams alive." Hmm. Yeah, from the looks of it, it appears it was nothing more than a poser. I doubt even Chris would say something like that. Of course, I'm a newfag so make of it what you will. - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 30 July 2010 (EST)
**Chris wouldn't mention the talks with Nintendo after finding out the people behind that were trolls. Too much wounded pride.--[[User:OFSheep|OFSheep]] 11:44, 30 July 2010 (UTC)
***Well, the talks with Nintendo and Sega were mentioned at 02:33, 24 August 2009 (UTC), and all the discussion in the blog started about two minutes afterward, with Chris replying at 02:58. There's also a little bit of discussion above the Sonichu topic on his user talk page, but he didn't respond to that. Here's the link to his User Talk page: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:CWCSonichuChandler, and here's the link to the other bit Chris supposedly said.: http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/User_talk:Evkl#Re:_Fake_Pages - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 10:56, 30 July 2010 (EST)

== Why are some people so eager to ban Chris everywhere on the Internet? ==

Including the people here on CWCki? Where's the fun in Chris crashing into PS3 slumber again? Damn, I wish Chris was allowed back to deviantART :( --[[User:Sonijew is back|Sonijew is back]] 05:10, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

More to the point, is there an official policy regarding stupid ass bullshit like "[[CWCipedia]] states that Chris may or may not create another account. Be sure to tip off the dA admins if he will return."? I think there should be.
*Overenthusiastic nobodies eager to 'stick it' to Chris and be the #1 trolin genious lolololo. It's quite irritating, and seems as if they have zero forethought. And I can only see this problem getting worse as time goes on and Chris becomes more mainstream. Feels bad man. - [[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 14:46, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

Chris is known to act out a lot, and on deviantART, acting out is considered trolling and it will get you banned. Also the fact that nobody wants him around. [[User:LAG4U|LAG4U]] 15:05, 30 July 2010 (UTC)

The same reason he gets banned from places IRL. --[[User:MoarDesu|MoarDesu]] 02:24, 1 August 2010 (UTC)

More times often than not, Chris does a good job of getting himself banned, better than the trolls at times: for example, his continued uploading of NSFW material to [[Flipnote Hatena]] damned him more than trolls could. The problem with Chris is his un realistic expectation that he is exempt to normal rules, an expectation that will continue to bite him in the ass. [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:47, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Chris's handwriting ==

Does anyone have a slightly recent example of Chris's handwriting? I just read a book on analyzing handwriting for character traits, and I want to see what I can pick out of him. Don't worry, I'll write the summary on my user page. I just need a sample. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 16:41, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:[[Chris's Letter to Blanca|2008 should be recent enough]] --[[User:Xanabit|Xanabit]] 16:48, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:: OK thank you. --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 17:32, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
:::The [[List of Flipnotes|Flipnotes]] should be the most recent example. --[[User:SeventhBase|SeventhBase]] 18:26, 2 August 2010 (PDT)
::::The problem with those though is that they don't show pressure of his writing.

Anyways, I finished. [[User:GandWuser|Read it on my Userpage.]] --[[User:GandWuser|GandWuser]] 18:34, 2 August 2010 (PDT)

== Scripts for Sonichu TAS ==

Would it be fine to add scripts from the Sonichu Animated Series to the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 11:40, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
:The page is locked, so you'd have to ask an admin. [[User:Bill Lumburg|Bill Lumburg]] 11:46, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
::Who are the admins on the CWCiki? [[User:CosmicFeeling|CosmicFeeling]] 19:18, 3 August 2010 (PDT)
:::That would be [[User:cogsdev|these]] [[User:Clydec|fine]] [[User:Champthom|people]]. I suggest putting the scripts on your namespace until they're ready for release. --[[User:SeventhBase|Seventh]][[User Talk:SeventhBase|Base]] 22:27, 3 August 2010 (PDT)

== Spotted Chris at Game Stop ==

Another sighting! I went over to the GameStop at the mall and lo and behold, Christian Weston Chandler in all his glory. He was wearing jeans and plain gray shirt that was too small for him. I say too small because his chest was definitely accentuated and they came up a wee bit too shirt for a T-Shirt to be at. He was checking out the PS Triple section the majority of the time. I happened to look over my shoulder at one point and there he was, bent over with his tighty whities pulled up too far on his body, his shirt coming up rather far over his back. What he was bent over for, I have no idea. I turned back to what I was looking at and he was sighing periodically over who knows what. Then I heard, "kick da hex-box...kick da hex-box...kick da hex-box..." I had to look. He was kicking a row of X-Box games while saying it. It wasn't hard enough to knock things over, but still...what the fuuuuuck? The employee gave him a glance but didn't say anything. I'm assuming he does this on a regular basis that they just ignore him. Now that I think back on it, he was probably sighing because the PS Triple section is right next to the X-Box section and he was getting stuh-ressed that the games were touching. He left shortly after that so I was able to look at the vidya with no further disturbances.

I later decided to get a bite to eat at the Sbarros and holy shit, there was the lumberjack and the Snorlax feasting on Chick-Fil-A. They both wore baseball caps and you could definitely tell the past couple of years(or however old the most recent pictures of them were taken) haven't been kind to them. I have some unfortunate news that the Snorlax isn't as fat as she used to be(from the one picture we have). In fact, her legs were incredibly skinny. Probably even skinnier than Chris'. Her clothing looked like it hung from her loosely. She could just have the same oddly shaped body that Chris has. Either way, she didn't really look that healthy. Bob was very scruffy(probably can't shave because of his age) and shuffled around with a slight hunch. A little while later, Chris joined them before they all got up and left. Chris' underwear was bunched up over his pants and sticking out. Chris walked with his mother out, his arm around her and rubbing her back. I overheard him tell his mom, "I love you, mother." Uuuuuuh, yeeeeah. About 10-20 seconds later, Bob shuffled up behind them. And that was it. He continues to blow my mind. [[User:Danny|Danny]] 22:07, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
* Ho-Ho-Holy shiiiiiiiit...! I could understand Barb's thinness (that diet after getting sick awhile back must have been murder on her), but Chris actually kicking X-Box games while saying "kick da hex-box"? That just takes the cake! I wish I knew what was going through the storeowner's head when he saw that. Hopefully the same thing everyone else was: what the fuck?--[[User:Blazer|Blazer]] 22:13, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
*That... That's just ridiculous. And here I thought Chris was beyond things a five year old would do. No pics, I assume? :( - [[User:CypherFDP|CypherFDP]] 1:55, 7 August 2010 (EST)
**Barb definitely has AIDS. -[[User:Beemunk|Beemunk]] 23:08, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
**This is still an eyewitness sighting of Chris, so we're going to have to update the [[August 2010]] article. Any information or sighting is helpful to us. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 23:09, 6 August 2010 (PDT)
*If he starts to frequent the store, look for the slightest excuse to get him banned. Anything that keeps Chris from buying more games is worth it. --[[User:Megaman|Megaman]] 00:02, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
*ewww chris wants to do it with his mom. thats like barf central and not just because of the incest either --This post has been brought to you by [[User:ShotgunJones|ShotgunJones]] 08:54, 7 August 2010 (PDT). Thanks for reading!

== chris at faf again ==

Sighted chris at fridays after five. He was wearing grey shirt, girly fitting jeans, and his trucker vest. Spotted a pokewalker on each of his hips. No rocks or hoolahoops sighted, but the highlight was him doing a sort of dance waddle/dance where he would slowly turn in circles with both of his index fingers pointed in the air. Making sheepish eye contact with random people, and revealing a very forced looking smile. When i wandered past him while he was doing this on the side grass near the bandstand I could hear him muttering/singing "do a little dance, make a little love, do a little dance, make a little love".
:No pictures, I assume? Either way, this is still helpful to us. --[[User:BreadGod|BreadGod]] 11:06, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
*care to tell us how you managed to observe this scene from canada? --[[User:Cogsdev|Cogsdev]] 11:31, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
**Ouch. -- [[User:Loserbrain|Loserbrain]] 14:46, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
:*Cogs brings the smackdown. My suggestion is to treat this one as bogus until we get more confirmation. Also, sign your damn posts. --[[User:Ronichu|Ronichu]] 15:58, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
I observed this with my own eyes and other sensory organs while, I did not observe this from canada as I am referring to fridays after five in c,va. Whether or not you choose to believe me is up to you. --hooplah
*Yeah, I think we all know this is bullshit. You could have tried harder, though. Also, I don't want to make two posts, so is there any real confirmation on the previous section's sighting? It seems a bit too descriptive to me, and a family outing doesn't seem like the Chandler family to me. [[User:Freecell|Freecell]] 17:37, 7 August 2010 (PDT)
**I smell a /cwc/fag --[[User:Munch Banchibokkusu|Munch]] 00:13, 8 August 2010 (PDT)

2010-06-29T20:50:39Z

Munch Banchibokkusu:

[[File:Chris The Furry.PNG|thumb|Chris tries to call out everyone and demands [[Honest Content|TRUE and HONEST Content]]]]

'''[http://flipnote.hatena.com/5348F770A0A92AE8@DSi/movie/A92AE8_09DACC89D7AF8_003?in=user Edit Me]''' is Chris's ninth animation posted to the [[Flipnote Hatena]]. The Edit Me meme begins with an artist creating a relatively blank character template and tagging another user. The tagged person must draw characters onto the template left by the starter, converting it into a picture of their own, and then include a tag of another user, starting a chain of individual drawings based on the same template. Being Chris, he added in everyone's favorite [[Sonichu|electric hedgehog Pokemon]] and his [[Rosechu|wife]], but in a creepy humanoid form resembling something more of a furry fetish, as a result of his bad drawing skill and the human-shaped template.

Chris then goes on to tag a long list of people, most of them obvious trolls, asking for [[HONEST]] responses only. He ends the animation with the phrase [[Religion#Delusions of Godhood?|"I HAVE SPOKEN!"]]

Unsurprisingly, Chris isn't tagged in the chain; he added his characters in completely uninvited, once again proving he has to [[ego|shove his fat ass into everything he sees]]. Somewhat more baffling is the fact that Chris has this note locked for editing, meaning that even if you did download the animation to a DSi, you would not be able to edit it. While this is consistent with Chris's [[Download For Play Only|feelings on people altering his work]], it makes no sense at all in the context.
== Video ==

{{Infobox/Flipnote
| name = Edit Me
| video = {{#ev:youtube|C2TBNrxkEnk}}
| stardate = June 27, 2010
| previous = [[Tagged Flipnote]]
| next = [[An Ol' Classic Dream]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

''As in [[Don'tGetTrolled!]], the majority of content in this flipnote is not created by Chris. As such this transcript will only concern itself with the parts Chris added.''

[''At 0:26, a picture of Sonichu and rosechu, drawn using the template appears. A very long message is displayed piece by piece in the margin.'']

© 3/00 C.W.C. [[Sonichu]] ♥ [[Rosechu]]

Music: Fast Car - [[Wikipedia:Wyclef Jean|Wyclef Jean]]

<nowiki>*Bear W. me; Taggin' a lot...</nowiki>

Listed from Past Comments Received... And Those who Do Not HAVE TO PURCHASE A DSi... Register them on nintendo.com, download F.N. Studio and link with their Hatena Account.

'''TAG:''' EnterGodMode Dsm56 Beat HelloMeV3 [[Jimmy Hill|Jimathan_T_Hill_101]] Ghost_of_[[Bob Chandler|Bob_Chandler]] JonSaskawan PandasPoopIt CirclingVulture Shii YouBadger111 DJYellow22 Charlie Holdden_McLock Red_Skelton Eric CWCSonichu [[china]]master [[Asperger syndrome|Asperger_Syndrome]] My_[[Duck]]_Is_Bent Sonee-Rosey-BabyS3x '''And Sonychu (Hatena ID). HONEST RESPONSE ONLY...'''

'''NO LIES OR QUOTES FROM [[Encyclopedia Dramatica|ANYWHERE]] [[CWCki|ONLINE]]'''

I HAVE SPOKEN! Christian W. Chandler, © 3/00

[[Category: Flipnote Hatena]]