CWCki - User contributions [en]

June 2015

2015-06-10T01:52:28Z

Muster128:

{{Ongoing}}

[[File:CallMeChristine.jpg|thumb|right|On '''7 June 2015''', Chris advises you call him Chris''tine''.]]

'''June''' is the 6th month of '''[[2015]]'''. [[Chris]]'s ''next'' court date will take place on 11 June. This month commences the start of summer, which Chris'll most likely spend playing [[vidya]] and loitering at the [[Impulse Gay Social-Club]], provided that he doesn't get sentenced.

==Events of June==
* 3 June - Chris once again pesters his [[fans]] on [[Facebook]] to get [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] into ''Super Smash Bros. for [[Wii]] U and [[Nintendo]] 3[[DS]]'', and also announces that he has more [[Sonichu Amiibo]] made. He also shows (once again) his disapproval for ''[[Sonic Boom]]''.
* 4 June - Chris posts a photo to Facebook revealing that a slip of his [[pocket knife]] resulted in a bad cut and a trip to the emergency room.
* 6 June - Chris yet again pesters his [[white knights]] to get Sonichu in ''Super Smash Bros.''
* 7 June - Chris discovers the trend of transwomen making fake ''Vanity Fair'' magazine covers of themselves, and as such does one himself.
* 8 June - Chris changes his [[voicemail]].
* 9 June - The next ''[[Sonic Boom]]'' game is announced. Chris [[Chris and anger|disapproves]] and even [[Death threats|threatens]] [[Sega]] producer [[Omar Woodley]].
* 11 June - Chris's next court date.
* 21 June - [[Father]]'s Day.
* 30 June - [[Club Nintendo]] will shut down in America.

{{Timeline}}

Chris and video games

2015-03-22T22:24:11Z

Muster128: Fixed minor spelling mistake

{{taxpayermoney}}

{{quote|And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game, and then...move onto another! I can't master any of them.|A TV anchorwoman on a younger Chris winning the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]].}}

[[Image:LoveThatLifeUpgrade.jpg|thumb|Chris tried having sex with a video game console once, but it [[Chris humps his PS3|didn't work out all that well]].]]

In case you didn't know, [[Chris]] likes '''video games'''. A lot. In fact, Chris almost definitely centers his life around and spends more time on video games than any other activity or pursuit, including his ongoing [[Love Quest|quest]] for [[sweetheart|a woman]] who will emerge from the [[Chris and the Internet|Internet]] and [[Chris and sex|give him her]] [[china]]. He [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 7|says]] he spends between two and four hours a day playing games, and that's just what he will admit to.

Without diving too deep into the amateur psychiatry pool, it's not hard to see why video games hold so much appeal for Chris. His brain is wired to operate according to [[Autism|absolute values and rigidly-defined processes]]. That's one reason why he has so much trouble dealing with real life — the rules keep changing on him, when he can figure the rules out at all. In the artificial worlds of Chris's favorite games, the challenges he faces are the kind that his inflexible mind is able to conquer. There, the rules never change, and all he has to do is follow them. [[Chris and reality|Reality isn't quite as simple]], which is why he spends [[Chris's room|as little time out there]] as possible.

==The early years==
Chris has been an avid gamer since a very young age. He first played video games on a Commodore 64 home computer. Before he was eight years old, he had a Game Boy and a [[Nintendo]] Entertainment System, and he acquired more consoles and games throughout the 1990s. According to [[The Sonichu Chronicles]], he's been a fan of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] since the character's [[1991]] debut for the Sega Genesis. His game collection really took off in [[1993]], when he won his famous shopping spree in the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes and added $1,000 (even though the total spent was $980.82) worth of Sega games and hardware to his hoard.

==Chris's game collection==
[[Image:404-SpiderManSignedGame.jpg|thumb|Well, if ''[[No More Jokes|Spider-Man]]'' says it...]]

{{main|List of Chris's games}}

Although the last completely reliable account of his collection dates back to [[January 2009]], Chris owns, as a conservative estimate, nearly [[Virgin|700 different game titles across 19 different platforms.]] (He sold off roughly 100 games in various trips to GameStop and local pawn shops during the late summer and early fall of 2010, but that still leaves a hell of a lot to go.) He also maintained an account with the mail-order rental service GameFly until [[August 2010]].

[[Sony]] consoles dominate Chris's collection. Counting the games he's downloaded by way of the [[PlayStation Network]], nearly half of his games belong to the PlayStation family. Nintendo comes next, including more than 100 games for Nintendo's different portable platforms, and Sega brings [[Homos|up the rear]]. While he owns every Sega console short of an 8-bit Master System and Sonic the Hedgehog is one of his favorite individual franchises, games for Sega consoles don't make up more than 10-15% of Chris's collection.

Chris's violent hatred of the [[Xbox]] is well-known, but he likely also owns or at one point owned an original Xbox console; however, it is not known how much he has actually played Xbox games. His [[List of Chris's eBay sales|eBay account]] shows that he tried to sell off a handful of Xbox games in the summer of [[2008]]. The record of his eBay sales also indicates that, in addition to owning at least one of every machine he owns games for, he's gone through at least three or four of Sony's original PlayStation consoles over the years. It's possible that he's had to replace a few of the infamously fragile machines, but this could also be an indication that he has bought the systems and games in bundles.

It's impossible to gauge exactly how much money has been shoveled into the furnace of Chris's game collection. Knowledgeable [[trolls]], however, reckon that his physical collection of games and hardware represents around $20,000. His PSN downloads, meanwhile, can be accurately accounted for--there, the bill is close to $3,500 and surely climbing all the while. One of the more grievous examples of Chris's video-game-related overspending is his apparent ownership of at least two copies of the eighty-dollar ''[[Street Fighter]] IV Collector's Edition'', as evidenced by the two identical exclusive Ryu figurines he later sold on eBay. While it's possible that Chris received the second figure from an outside source or packaging error, his attempt to bribe [[BlueSpike]] [[Julie Reveals Herself: The Prequel|with a copy of the game]] and his habit of wasting money for no particular reason lend credence to the theory.

In January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|leaked]] that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games ''(racking up '''585''' transactions'' in the last 4.5 years[[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/]](or 150 payments a year. This list includes useless shovelware, virtual console games, and [[Sonic Boom Protests|both versions of a game he doesn't even like.]] Of these, 276 purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles(''buying '''4''' DSs and DSi consoles''), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's '''listed''' purchases is '''$7460.43''' or '''$1657.87/year'''. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account (such as Skylanders figures, amiibos, and his Wii U Virtual Console purchases) are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. Apparently, his main attention and [[Nintendo Power Magazine|fanboyism]] has shifted from PlayStation back to Nintendo, for unknown reasons.

This leak also revealed that Chris plays almost every game demo available on the eShop, Nintendo's online downloadable video game store, even if he has no interest in said game. This leak also confirmed he had bought every single [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] game and primary [[Pokémon]] RPG, proving that he is still a major fanboy of [[Sonichu (comic)|both franchises]], and also confirmed that he still makes many purchases multiple times over for no apparent reason, such as of Wario's Woods.

==What Chris plays==
Going on what evidence is available--what he talks about on his websites and [[YouTube]], what his PSN profile shows the most effort put into, what he decides to construct elaborate fan-works around--Chris has fairly childish, "casual" tastes in video games. He puts an enthusiast gamer's level of effort and time into gaming, but he does it playing stuff like Sonic, ''[[Pokémon]]'', ''[[Animal Crossing]]'', ''[[Guitar Hero]]'', and other games geared toward a less "hardcore" audience. His favorite racing game, ''Burnout Paradise'', is a straightforward action/arcade-style game. ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' earned a hardcore following with its level editor, but otherwise it's just another side-scrolling platform game (and Chris hardly strains the level editor to the limits of its potential). Much of his PSN trophy case is filled out with achievements racked up playing simple downloadable demoscene and indie productions. Even his beloved ''[[Brutal Legend Plus|Brütal Legend]]'' isn't remarkably deep as far as gameplay is concerned; while the game is an M-rated title with swearing, decapitations, heavy metal music and tricky real-time strategy elements, for most part the atmosphere is still jolly and humorous enough, and majority of gameplay consists of exploring the world and having straightforward beat-em up fights. Some have questioned whether or not Chris's interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was because of an affinity for director [[Wikipedia:Tim Schafer|Tim Schafer's]] other quirky, offbeat games such as ''[[Wikipedia:Psychonauts|Psychonauts]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Grim Fandango|Grim Fandango]]''. While Chris might be drawn to the perceived [[random-access humor]] of such games, more likely, they were too intelligent for him, and not mainstream enough. More likely, his interest in ''Brütal Legend'' was due to Jack Black providing the main character's voice, and possibly [[Chris and music|Chris's failed attempts to appear to be a connoisseur of music]].

The games that Chris owns are not necessarily the games that Chris plays. His PSN downloads strongly suggest that he spends money on his gaming hobby more or less for the sake of spending it. Witness the $65 he spent on downloadable content for ''Disgaea 3'', a game he had only played to 7% completion several months after originally buying all those downloads. It's reasonable to assume that Chris has similar spending habits in real life, a theory bolstered somewhat by his retro game collections. Chris's collections of games for the Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and a couple of other now-dead consoles are dominated by bargain-bin trash, extremely-common or extremely-shitty games that are easily picked up for very low remaindered prices. No knowledgeable gamer would ever pay money for ''Power Factory Featuring C+C Music Factory'', except maybe as a gag gift, but Chris apparently thought it was worth owning. This habit seems to be picked up from [[Barbara]], and continues to this day in the form of eShop shovelware and virtual console downloads.

His collection does a good job of telling us what sort of games Chris doesn't play, though. Outside of the ''Pokémon'' series, for instance, he has almost no evident interest in role-playing games. Most of the non-Pokémon RPGs in his collection, like ''Suikoden'' and ''Final Fantasy VII'', are PlayStation retro releases he impulse-bought through the PSN. Chris buys those up like penny candy — he's even downloaded several digital duplicates of PlayStation games that he already owns physical copies of.

Despite being obsessed with Pokemon, he's not a hardcore Nintendo fan as some might suspect. He never seems to show interest in the latest content from Nintendo, and the hardcore Nintendo games he does own (such as games from the ''Metroid'', ''The Legend of Zelda'' and ''Mario'' franchises) are most likely just collecting dust on his game collection racks.

However, a January 2014 leak by a Nintendo Employee revealed that Chris had, in fact, returned to his [[Nintendo|Nintendo]] roots, buying nearly every single game on the eShop.

He owns almost no sports games. In the Mailbag, he once noted that "Sports titles do not really thrill me," although he didn't explain exactly why.

With a few exceptions, Chris has no apparent interest in video games aimed at his own age group, which is unsurprising. "Hardcore" games aimed at "adults" are games that simply would not interest Chris because of his juvenile mindset. Video games (and anything else, for that matter) with mature themes that aren't two-dimensionally crass and full of [[random-access humor]] would probably confuse and bore Chris and make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, adding to the fact he probably wouldn't be able to get very far in the game. This is supported by the fact that he did try out ''Bioshock'', a first-person shooter with RPG elements, but only for a short time and never touched it again. Most likely the whole game itself flew right over Chris's head and he decided to play some ''Wheel of Fortune'' instead. However, ever since his [[100 2357.MOV|sixth declaration that he has left the internet]] in late [[2010]], some more high-profile games aimed at adults have appeared on his PSN Trophy list (Such as ''Grand Theft Auto IV'' and ''Fallout: New Vegas''). Apparently the Hannah Montana PS3 game is no longer enough to fill his abundance of free time, and he's taken to playing games he wouldn't normally were he doing anything else with his life.

While he sometimes gets tagged with the "[[anime|weeaboo]]" label, Chris doesn't appear to prefer games made in Japan over any other part of the world. In fact, his favorite games of 2008-2009, the period where he's told us the most about what he plays, are pretty evenly divided between Japan (''Sonic'', ''Pokémon''), the United States (''Guitar Hero'', ''Brutal Legend'') and Europe (''Burnout'', ''LittleBigPlanet''). He counts a few Japanese Game Boy and Nintendo DS imports in his larger collection, but they're obviously titles he picked up to try and impress/bribe [[Megan Schroeder]] — almost all of them are spinoffs from popular anime, especially magical-girl series like ''Sailor Moon'' and ''Pretty Cure''.

When Chris and Megan still got along well together, they were serious players of the arcade version of ''[[Soul Calibur]] III''. There's also an arcade in Chris's plans for the [[CWCville Shopping Center]]. However, given Chris's more recent inclination to retreat into the comfortable confines of his bedroom, chances are he's not much of an arcade-goer anymore.

==Chris the console warrior==
Chris thinks the perennial "Console Wars" between rival manufacturers of game machines are extremely serious business, and engages them in all of the bile and fervor of a 10-year-old child soldier in the PlayStation Army. On rare occasions he has almost seemed rational in this respect, saying he "just doesn't like" or "doesn't care much for" the Xbox, but most of the time he doesn't spare strong words when describing the vile and loathsome [[HEXBox]]. By comparison, he has waxed poetic when describing the awesomeness of the [[PS3]], most prominently in his [[PS3 History Level]] for ''LittleBigPlanet''. According to [[Mimms and Lucas Q&A#Video games|Lucas]], Chris would even express his fury over the Xbox in public while hanging out at [[The GAMe PLACe]].

It's hard to tell where Chris's religious devotion to the PlayStation comes from, but a religion is what it is. Like his faith in [[Chris and religion|GodJesus]], his support for Sony is blind and unthinking. Though he can come up with a simple justification for his opinions in a pinch — typically he brings up the annual fee for online gaming on Xbox Live — Chris shows no sign of having put any serious thought or study into his choice of consoles. His descriptions of the PS3's advantages in places like his [[Chris Chan Update 13 October 2008|Columbus Day 2008 video]] tend to sound like boilerplate marketing copy (as filtered through the mind of a [[Chris's room|cave-dwelling]] autistic, anyway).

Interestingly, Chris was not always a blindly devoted fan of Sony. In the [[Animal Crossing Documentary]], we see that back in [[2003]], Chris pledged his allegiance to Nintendo and the GameCube, stating that both forerunners to the PS3 stank as much as the original [[Hex Bawx|Xbox]]. His feelings changed when he bought a PS1 at a "rummage sale" for cheap, intending to resell it elsewhere for profit, but instead played it and found it wasn't bad.<ref>[[Jackie E-mails 14]]</ref> One would expect this to be a lesson against nonsensical [[Chris and brand loyalty|brand loyalty]], but instead Chris just focused his hatred on Microsoft instead. Likely, prior to this Chris was a Sega fanatic at Nintendo's expense; if true, then it demonstrates how [[List of Chris's sweethearts|fickle]] Chris is regarding devotion.

Today, as of [[January 2015]], he is now a hardcore [[Nintendo]] fan at Sony's expense, as revealed by a recent leak by a TRUE AND HONEST [[Nintendo]] employee [http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-12-nintendo-employee-details-chriss-recent-video-game-purchases.7050/].

In typical fashion, Chris is ignorant of things he has chosen not to like. The only 360 game he seems to shown interest in, [http://news.vgchartz.com/news.php?id=6182 "Don't Be Nervous Talking to Girls"], seen in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] being modified for the PS3, was suggested to him by the fans. Though the game is just a crappy dating sim, and though there are other 360-exclusive games which would appeal to him, Chris claims that it's the only game worth playing on the 360.

Even slinging mud at the names of the consoles is very serious business to Chris. In [[Lars Call]], Chris says he doesn't like it when people call PS3 the "PS Triple", because that's what [[trolls]] call it. Of course, this comes from a man who [[Chris and hypocrisy|kept ranting about the "Hex Box"]].

==Chris and online gaming==
Perhaps unsurprisingly, given his antisocial nature, Chris isn't much for online multiplayer games in any genre, be they sports sims, shooters, racing games, or whatever else. Though he owns several games for the PS3 and other consoles that would allow him to play online and interact with other people, his PSN profile shows that he's put hardly any time into multiplayer games.

In 2010 and afterward, two exceptions to this rule emerged. He did a good deal of online racing in ''ModNation Racers'' during the summer of 2010, while early in 2011, Chris began to show an interest in an online role-playing game for the first time, ''DC Universe Online''. His fondness for ModNation competition eventually passed, but it remains to be seen whether or not he'll develop a lasting interest in MMO gaming.

Dedicated observers of Chris's gaming habits may notice a bit of a paradox developing here. Chris claims to hate the Xbox 360 because Microsoft requires a $50 annual subscription fee for online multiplayer gaming. Why should this wind him up so badly, when he hardly plays any multiplayer games anyhow? Well... that's Chris for you. [[Mailbag]] correspondents have tried to point out the seeming contradiction here, not to mention the weird contrast between Chris's thriftiness as far as Xbox Live is concerned and the massive amounts of money he's wasted on worthless digital trinkets through the PSN. For all the good it's done, though, they may as well have tried to change his opinion of [[Asperger syndrome]].

===Chris the trophy whore===
While Chris has little evident interest in directly interacting with other humans in online games, he does seem to enjoy building up a massive trophy case to passively show off in his PlayStation Network profile. He's doggedly played through a number of games in order to earn every available achievement, and on occasion he appeals to his [[fanbase]] for help in earning trophies. For instance, he begged readers of his [[Twitter]] feed to download his ''ModNation Racers'' levels so he could pick up one more trophy.

Slacker that he is, Chris prefers to put forth as little effort as possible to earn his trophies. Presented with a trophy in ''LittleBigPlanet 2'' that asked him to contribute a custom level to the game's online community, he fulfilled the requirement by uploading an empty level with no work put into it. (When this level was deleted by the community's administrators, he took the next-easiest route and uploaded his old levels made with the first ''LittleBigPlanet''.) In an [[Jackie E-mails 6|e-mail to Jackie]], he expressed great pleasure when the ''ModNation'' experience system was patched to make certain trophies easier to acquire.

==Chris and PC games==
Games for personal [[computers]] are conspicuously absent from Chris's collection and his evident game-playing habits. The only sign that he's ever even owned any PC games comes from his eBay account, which shows that he tried to auction off a collection of vintage ''Dungeons & Dragons'' role-playing games for the PC in the summer of 2008. He might also own a copy of the first Lego Island game for PC (as seen by his possession of the Infomaniac minifigure - which was only obtainable from early copies of the said game). In the [[Fanmail Reading]] video, after a [[troll|fan]] sent him a copy of ''[[wikipedia:Half-Life 2|Half-Life 2]]'', Chris explained, "I don't play PC games. I used to, but I don't anymore." He didn't say why he gave them up, though. In [[Mumble 1|his first Mumble chat]], he claimed to "remember ''[[wikipedia:Touhou|Touhou]]''", but later backpedaled and said "I never really heard of that."

==Chris the industry insider==
Chris gets most of his information about the gaming industry from comparatively mainstream sources. He's an avowed reader of ''Game Informer'' magazine, as well as Sony's online magazine ''Qore'', and regularly follows the G4 cable network. He apparently still takes the [[Congrats, Jack Black|Spike TV Video Game Awards]] seriously, which puts him about five years behind anybody with even a cursory interest in the games business.

==Chris the game designer==
{{main|Sonichu (game)|Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles}}
At various times, especially during the [[Miyamoto saga]], but going as far back as the late 1990s (when he had a prophetic dream of a Sonic game for the Game Boy), Chris has imagined that he could launch himself into a career as a game designer. It's telling, however, that nearly all of his "ideas" for potential video game projects simply involve swapping Sonichu or other Chris-spawned characters into an existing game concept. ''[[Pokémon: Lightning Version]]'' is a Pokémon RPG with Sonichu in it. ''[[Sonichu Adventure]]'' is ''Sonic Adventure'' with Sonichu in it. ''[[John's Custom Gundam: Sisterly Rescue]]'' is ''Gundam: Journey to Jaburo'' with Megan's quasi-retarded brother in it, and so on.

The closest he's gotten to coming up with something like an original idea is ''[[Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles]]'', and we don't actually know what that game is supposed to amount to beyond what Chris drew on the cover, and occasional haphazard mentions. It's entirely possible that Chris doesn't know the answer to that one either.

Chris nevertheless sincerely believes that his characters and game ideas are ready for commercial prime time. He once rejected an e-mail from the Mailbag that brought up the notion of a not-for-profit fan-made Sonichu game, and brushed off similar suggestions in his first [[IRC (16 October 2008)|IRC fan chat]]. In [[Chris dispels videogame rumors|the video about dispelling rumors of an official Sonichu game]], he scoffed at the idea of his game ideas being made with 2D graphics.

===Modding and customization===
One of the great ironies of Chris's existence is that he loves to create and share his creations, even though he possesses almost no genuine innate creativity. He tends to gravitate strongly towards video games that allow him to create his own content and share it online.

Since console games are often not modifiable, while PC game modding tends to demand more technical skill than he possesses, Chris has only been able to show off his creativity in this field so much. That said, the PS3 games ''LittleBigPlanet'' and ''[[ModNation Racers]]'' exerted a powerful grip on him with their customization capabilities. Chris made a ton of levels in ''LittleBigPlanet,'' dropping out of sight for the better part of a month when he first acquired the retail version of the game. Likewise, he has made levels, characters and custom cars for ''ModNation Racers'', and it resulted in a similar disappearance during the summer of 2010. His output hasn't shown too much actual competence, but it's not for lack of time and effort spent.

Even in games that offer only light customization features, Chris makes a point of personalizing his experience as much as possible. He spent considerable time on a ''Guitar Hero'' band, up to drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|disturbing pictures]] of his virtual bandmates. The amount of time he spent on tweaking his ''Animal Crossing'' villages is simply colossal. According to the [[Regina e-mails]], Chris made a similarly big deal about ''Jet Set Radio'' and ''F-Zero GX'', even though both games limit their customization options to things like swapping around car parts or personalizing small decals.

Likewise, as the gallery below displays, Chris enjoys customizing his game hardware. He's splattered Sonichu artwork all over his Gamecube, a Nintendo DS, a couple of Game Boy Advances, a PSP, his now-deceased original PS3, and possibly other consoles or handhelds. One of his [[Pokéwalker of Fail|Pokéwalkers]] also appears to have received the Sonichu treatment, being repainted in blue and yellow.

==Chris's perception on video game technology==
Chris obviously has no idea about how video games or video game consoles work. For example, as seen in a panel of Sonichu 10, he seems to think that games are interchangeable and can work on any console ("DO NOT BUY OR DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL COPIES OF L.B.P. ON Wii OR XBox360; IT IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!"), even though he could easily check and see that he can't play his copy of Little Big Planet in his Wii, although he is either too lazy, or is afraid of having [[14 Branchland Court|his house]] raided by [[jerkop]]s.

Neither is he aware of what the technology is currently capable of. As stated in the survey of [[Chris and reality]], he once suggested that Nintendo should create a Poké Ball peripheral which could display holographs, of which we can only see in science fiction currently.

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:121-CWCsGamecube.jpg|GameCube skin
Image:122-CWCsGamecubeP2.jpg
Image:204-SonichuGBA2.jpg|GBA skin
Image:205-SonichuGBASP2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube1.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube2.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube3.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube4.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube5.jpg
Image:CWCGameCube6.jpg
Image:092-PSPSonichu.jpg|[[PSP]] skins
Image:SonichuPSPCover.jpg
Image:282-ChaoticComboPSPWall.jpg
Image:518-PaRappa-the-Rapper-Um-Jammer-Lammy-PSP-Wallpaper.jpg
Image:Sonichugame.png
</gallery>

==See also==
* [[List of Chris's video games]]
* [[List of Chris's PSN game downloads]]
* [[Club Nintendo]]
* [[Fandoms]]
* [[PlayStation 3]]

==References==
<references/>

==External links==
* [http://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/profiles/Sonichu Chris's PlayStation Network profile]

[[Category:Pages with fan videos]]
[[Category:Video Games]]

2014

2015-02-18T02:28:42Z

Muster128: Updated to reflect changes after February 5, 2015

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|It's been a fair year. Thanks for being a part of it.|Chris, only 4 days before [[26 December 2014|it]] happens.}}
{{quote|Starts the year by burning his own house down, ends the year by going to jail for assault. Bravo, Chris.|A forum poster summing up this year.}}
[[File:Chris-chan 010714.JPG|thumb|Chris in [[July 2014]].]]

'''2014''' was the sixth year of organized trolling since [[Chris]]'s discovery. Like [[2011|the]] [[2012|three]] [[2013|years]] before it, it appeared as if it would have started off with nothing of note, save for the occasional rambling on his [[Facebook]] account...until it was revealed on 11 January that the Chandler household caught fire. Similar to incidents involving his [[28 October 2011|past arrest]] and the passing of [[Bob Chandler]], this was a major dilemma facing his family, and some speculated that these big changes in his life would bring about big changes in Chris himself. Chris did undergo some changes, but they were mostly either irrelevant or just further steps towards complete insanity, culminating in his arrest for assault a mere five days before the end of the year.

Following the fire, Chris began to sell some of his stuff for money, such as his [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing‎]]. This is notable as, for a change, Chris is actually earning some of his money instead of purely relying on his [[monthly tugboat]], something which was not seen since his days at [[Wendy's]].
Though many problems have more or less sorted themselves out in the past year, this year did continue the fallout from 2013. In August, Chris augmented his tomgirlish ways and came out as a "Lesbian-Identified Male", and began attending LGBT events around Charlottesville (likely against the wishes of other attendees). He also revealed he found himself [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|a new]] [[Catherine|girlfriend]], which after a series of obstacles was later confirmed to be a troll.

Around the release of the new [[Sonic]] game, ''Sonic Boom'', Chris became consumed by a vehement desire to denounce the game, encouraging others to boycott it and even defacing in-store copies of the game. Chris's cited reason for this behavior is, in true CWC fashion, because of an extremely minor design element present only on this non-canon part of the franchise: Sonic's arms are blue, instead of tan.

On the bright side, however, at the end of the year, Chris announced that 14 Branchland Court was finally repaired, and would be moving back in [[2015]]. Unfortunately, Chris saw fit to fuck that up (as well as any sympathy the trolls were starting to have for him) - he was recorded assaulting an innocent GameStop employee with pepper spray, an action that landed him in jail, awaiting trial on the 29th, literally 2 days before the end of the year. While Chris managed to post bail and at least enjoy some degree of freedom for the new year, the damage was already done, and he will be feeling the consequences when he goes to answer for his crimes in the future.

==January==
[[File:IMG 0532 zps78876bfb.jpg|thumb|240px|[[14 Branchland Court]], 1-2 days after its [[Destruction Of Chris's House|destruction]].]]
{{main|January 2014}}
This month began with little note, until [[Destruction Of Chris's House‎|Chris's house caught fire]]. The rest of the month was mostly spent on recovering.

==February==
{{main|February 2014}}
Chris turns 32. Two videos are leaked: [[Hello, my sweety baby]] and [[Message for John Kyle]].

==March==
{{main|March 2014}}
Some [[Misc E-mails|e-mails]] were leaked on the [[CWCki Forums]], one of them provides interesting info about Chris's days at [[Manchester High School]], involving him getting bullied on a daily basis, although Chris didn't seem to qualify most of it as bullying. Chris was also rumored to be shoplifting at Best Buy, which Chris fervently denied on Facebook.

==April==
{{main|April 2014}}
[[File:April 2014 Target sighting.jpg|thumb|April sighting in Target.]]
Pictures of Chris's house and info about the [[Rental House]] are leaked. Chris is spotted at a local [[Target]] by a Reddit user.

==May==
{{main|May 2014}}
Chris lists some old airplane models and a violin on [[eBay]] (at vastly overestimated prices). He begs for [[Lego]] on Facebook, and confirms that [[Simonla_Rosechu#Resurrection|Simonla has been resurrected]].

==June==
[[File:OriginalSonichuAndRosechuDrawingChris1.JPG|left|thumb|Chris in June 2014.]]
{{main|June 2014}}
Chris tried to sell a painting on [[eBay]], but was suspended. He then tried again, and was suspended again. Meanwhile, a troll snuck into [[14 Branchland Court]] and recovered [[Manchester High Leaks|some documents]] which feature samples of his academic work, and show that he received [[Honor roll|very poor marks]] in many areas.

==July==
[[File:Okcupid 8 jul 2014 6.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in July.]]
{{main|July 2014}}
Chris sold [[autographed photos]] of himself on eBay. Also, his latest [[OkCupid]] profile was found by a [[CWCki Forums|forum]] user.

11 July was last day of [[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]]'s two-year-long probation, her sentence from the trial for the events of [[28 October 2011]].

==August==
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|180px|"Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny" in August.]]
{{main|August 2014}}
Chris came out on Facebook as a "Lesbian Identified Male" and self-described "Intersex" "Cross-Dressing Tranny". He also expressed solidarity with the movement for LGBT equality, although he was very unhappy about having to include [[Homos|gay males]]. He also revealed he had a new girlfriend.

==September==
[[File:Chris chan sep14.jpg|thumb|180px|Chris in September.]]
{{main|September 2014}}

Chris sold tons of stuff on eBay, and obtained materials to make more [[medallion]]s and mass-produces them.

==October==
{{main|October 2014}}
[[File:Chrischan_oct14.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in October.]]
This month is notable in that it marked a significant resurgence in video-making, as well as more possibilities about his [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|anonymous galpal]], his growing (professed) support for LGBT activism, and his ongoing hatred for eBay (especially after the [[To Mr. Smith|Mr. Smith fiasco]]) and ''Sonic Boom''.

==November==
{{main|November 2014}}
Chris spent this month mostly raging over the ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]] Boom'' game, before he embarrassed himself silly while [[Brushfire Video|raging over a small brushfire]] occurring near his house, and accidentally doxxed himself yet again. This time, however, the trolls did not take advantage of this doxxing. His Facebook friends then helped him make a new version of [[CWC's Sonichu Site!]], which lasts for just 10 days prior to being shut down due to 404 errors, DDoS attacks from [[ween]]s, and complaints over its name--"[[Aspergers|Sperg]]web". Then, it ended on a particularly depressing note for him, as he was quickly booted off his [[Keep Sonic Original]] group for making graphic [[death threats]] to Sega, and it was revealed that his [[Catherine|new girlfriend]] was in fact a troll.

==December==
{{main|December 2014}}
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in December.]]
Chris started the month off on a low note--primarily consisting of his irrational [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] on [[Facebook]]--until on [[26 December 2014|26 December]], when Chris was arrested for [[List of places that have banned Chris|trespassing]] and [[Chris and the law|assaulting an employee]] at a local [[GameStop]]. After being held in [[Jerkops|Albemarle Regional Jail]] for three days, Chris was released on bail to await his trial on the 5th of [[February 2015]]. Chris is currently awaiting a 3rd trial set to be held on the 2nd of [[April 2015]].

{{Timeline}}
[[Category:Chronology]]

List of places that have banned Chris

2015-02-17T03:10:36Z

Muster128: Updated to reflect changes after February 5, 2015

[[Image:BANHAMMER.png|thumb|The weapon of choice.]]

Although he is a grown adult (at least physically), [[Chris]] is not above [[Chris and anger|throwing tantrums]] and generally being a nuisance in public places. Because of his obnoxious behavior, Chris has been either temporarily or permanently '''banned''' from many places.

==Shops==
===The GAMe PLACe===
{{main|The GAMe PLACe}}

According to [[Mimms]], Chris has been banned twice. The first time, which was temporary, was when Chris attempted to get something from the back without permission. [[Michael Snyder]] permabanned him on 28 August [[2008]], after Chris got confrontational with a small [[black]], but even this failed to keep Chris away from the store. Following the events of [[28 October 2011]], Chris was definitively banned by court order from ever re-entering the store.

===Charlottesville Fashion Square===
{{main|Charlottesville Fashion Square}}

Chris was busted twice here, once for loitering and again for shouting in public. The second incident may or may not have been Chris's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shout upon learning [[Hanna]] was [[troll]]ing him. He was banned for a year, but the ban has since expired. On 28 [[April 2012]], it's revealed he was banned again, this time from arguing with trolls loudly on his phone.

===Wal-Mart===
{{main|Mal-Wart}}

Chris has been kicked out of Wal-Mart on at least four separate occasions. On 23 June [[2005]], the [[Niggos|African-American]] manager of the [[Charlottesville]] store's [[McDonald's]] (depicted as the [[B-Manajerk]] by Chris in the comics) attempted to have Chris arrested for loitering, but his own fast thinking and hiding his Attraction Sign (which got him in trouble in the first place) ended up with him removed from the restaurant for the rest of the day (or so he says). The actual banning came two days later, 25 June, when Chris returned and attempted to loiter again. Both managers for McDonald's and Wal-Mart confronted Chris, but Chris refused to listen to the managers, ran off and nearly ran ''over'' one of them. In late [[2009]], he returned to Wal-Mart, forcing one of the female employees to measure him for a [[sports bra]].

Proving he learns nothing, Chris was again banned in September [[2013]], this time at the recent [[Ruckersville]] location, after vandalizing an Xbox One sign to read "[[HEXbox]] One," according to his [[September 2013 Facebook Posts#Chris Expresses His Outrage for Walmart|Facebook post]] on 6 [[September 2013]]. In the ensuing Facebook posts, he blames almost everyone else but himself for the ban, including [[Michael Snyder]], [[Megan Schroeder]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], and even his defense attorney [[Rob Bell]]. A year later, Chris got thrown out of Wal-Mart yet again, after an employee recognized and confronted him. He eventually left, but not before threatening the employee with pepper spray. For reference, this came less than a week after he was arrested for [[26 December 2014|attacking an employee of another store with mace]].

===Target===
{{main|Get-Tar Region}}

On 20 July 2005 (almost a month after Chris's incident over at Wal-Mart), he attempted to loiter at a newly-built Target, intending on exploiting their free soda refill deal while he tried to get boyfriend-free girls. According to [[Emily]], Chris was approached by management and asked to leave, but he refused. When the issue was pressed, he insulted them and forced them to call the cops. When they did, Chris tried to run, forcing them to tackle, hogtie and handcuff him. All this on the store's opening week!

===GameStop===
Chris had already been banned from the Fashion Square branch of local GameStop for his [[Sonic Boom Protests]] when, on [[26 December 2014]], he came [[Honor roll|"disguised"]] in a pair of [[My Little Pony]] [[Chris and fashion|novelty sunglasses]], supposedly intending to buy a new ''Skylanders'' figure and some second-hand Wii U games. However, the staff confronted him and were unmoved by his protests that he was there to actually buy stuff rather than vandalize their property. He eventually left, but not before assaulting one of the employees by spraying his can of pink mace at his shirt, [[Chris and the Law|a felony]]. As with the GAMe PLACe, the ban escalated to a full-blown restraining order, which was slapped on Chris as part of his bail conditions.

==Websites==

===deviantART===
{{main|deviantART}}

Chris has twice been banned from deviantART. Both times were for the same reason: sexual imagery without using the proper mature content filters. The first time was around [[May 2009]], most likely due to the imagery from [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]; the second was August 28, 2009, due to the infamous cameltoe scene in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]] and the sex scene between [[Blake]] and [[Bubbles Rosechu]] in [[Sonichu 8|''Sonichu'' #8]].

===YouTube===
{{main|YouTube}}
Chris abandoned many of his accounts after troll attacks. One of his accounts, CChanSonichu, was suspended because of [[The July 10th Messages|three insulting videos]] he posted in tandem on 10 [[July 2009]].

===Wikipedia===
{{main|Wikipedia}}

On 1 May 2009, Chris created an account on Wikipedia, hoping to show his side to his life story, one that wasn't "smeared" by trolls. It was deleted soon afterward for violating Wikipedia's policy on userpages and notability. When he attempted to contest this course of action, his user account was indefinitely blocked (although the blocking admin actually believed it to be a [[wikipedia:Sockpuppet (Internet)|sockpuppet]] of a troll and not the genuine article). As of now, the article name "Christian Weston Chandler" has been "salted" to prevent it from ever being recreated.

===Flipnote Hatena===
{{main|Flipnote Hatena}}

After uploading and re-uploading numerous flipnotes that violated the rules of the family-friendly Flipnote Hatena site, the moderators banned him permanently from uploading flipnotes on the 2nd of [[July 2010]]. Chris has since evaded his ban. Flipnote Studio 3D was later released in [[February 2015]] after Flipnote Hatena shut down on the 31st of [[May 2013]]. Only time will tell if Chris manages to get banned from that as well.

===eBay===
{{main|Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing}}

Chris has attempted to sell the [[Original Sonichu and Rosechu Drawing]] on [[eBay]] since [[June 2014|the first of June]]. Time and again, however, the listing for the picture was taken down, either as a result of [[Troll]] involvement, the listing expiring (the asking price of thousands of dollars not helping in that respect), or in true Chris fashion, breaking the terms of services on eBay by asking for offers on Facebook. This would culminate in a three-day ban from eBay on June 8th, 2014. Chris, being incapable of taking "no" for an answer, stated his intention to put the picture back up for sale again the minute the ban expires.

On June 12, Chris reposted the listing, only for eBay to give him ''another'' ban. When his second ban expired, he reposted a heavily-edited version of the posting, although still possible violating several of eBay's terms again. A third strike against Chris's tarnished eBay name is expected. Only time will tell if the world's largest online vendor will be added to the list of places that kicks Chris out and never lets him back in.

==Organizations==

===The Cub Scouts===

Chris stated in part 4 of his [[KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special]] that he was kicked out of the "[[Wikipedia:Cub Scouting (Boy Scouts of America)|Wolf Cub Scouts]]" in the late [[1980s]] because he was autistic. Undoubtedly, it was for something he did that he didn't tell us about. His commentary suggests that he routinely angered his Den Mother with his illogical behavior and that he believes this to be the reason he is banned. In [[Mailbag 18#Instead the courts were on the side of justice|a Mailbag]], Chris revealed that his parents tried to sue the Boy Scouts of America over this incident.

===Piedmont Virginia Community College===
{{main|Piedmont Virginia Community College}}

Two incidents occurred here. The first occurred on Chris's 21st [[birthday]], 24 February [[2003]]. Chris originally blamed the incident on him having an outburst when he was kicked out of a class after telling a male professor that he, like the main character in a story they were learning about, was autistic. According to [[Emily]], however, it turns out that he was kicked out because of his homophobic tendencies causing him to say something derogatory. In either case, Chris started his [[Love Quest]] this day.

The second incident occurred when, in mid-October [[2003]], Dean of Student Services [[Mary Lee Walsh]] spotted Chris and his [[Attraction Sign]] and took it away, criticizing Chris for his actions, as she believed he was trying to solicit sex on campus. When Walsh destroyed a second sign, Chris [[Chris and anger|raged]] and went on the offensive. This incident lead to her banning Chris for a year, forcing him to see a [[Autism papers|psychiatrist]] and go to anger management classes (neither of which seems to have helped).

===Grace Baptist Church===
{{main|Grace Baptist Church}}

Chris was banned from his old church in [[2008]]. He claimed in an email with [[lordsillynipples]], "Pastor John Hartless did not like my views I've expressed in [[Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE|my video I did on my 25th Birthday]], and he found the [[ED]] page." Later, in [[Mailbag 14]], he claimed it was because "The pastor did a background check on me, and found images of [[Women's rights|women in bikinis]] on my [[Facebook]]; he was offended." Going by his frequent threats to use his new congregation as a personal army, it is not unlikely that Chris was booted out of the church when he linked his pastor to his ED page in the hope that Mr. Hartless would incite the congregation into raiding the ED page for Chris.

===Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church===
{{main|Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church}}

A [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] leaked on 30 March 2013 revealed that some time between [[July 2011]] and [[March 2013]], Chris had earned himself a temporary ban from Wesley Methodist, probably because he had repeatedly (and annoyingly) aired his endless grievances about [[trolls]] during the homily.

{{quote|I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced.|Chris, on how his own church is now playing [[Kick the Autistic]]}}

{{Lists}}
[[Category:Places]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Barbara Chandler

2015-02-12T05:28:52Z

Muster128: Fixed a couple mistakes

{{DeadLinks}}
{{quote|I am close to my mother, but I would advise some space between you and your mother. And I recommend finding yourself a Girlfriend/Sweetheart to remain with in your later years of life. Mama's not gonna be around forever.|Chris gives advice to a ''Sonichu'' fan.<ref>[[Mailbag 13]]</ref>}}

{{quote|She threatens to kill me in her episode [sic] of emotional rage.|Chris on Barb.<ref name="jackie26">[[Jackie E-mails 26]]</ref>}}

{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Chandler Family
|-
| colspan="2" | [[Image:0839-MomDesi.JPG|300px]]
|-
! colspan="2" |Barbara Chandler
|-
| '''Birth name'''
| Barbara Anne Weston
|-
| '''Nicknames'''
| Snorlax, Barb
|-
| '''D.O.B.'''
| [[Pre-1980#1940s|1 October 1941]] (age {{Age|1941|10|1}})
|-
| '''Gender'''
| Female
|-
| '''Nationality'''
| [[United States of America|American]]
|-
| '''Race'''
| White
|-
| '''Marriages'''
| [[Ran Coleman Yeatts]] (1961-19??) 
[[Bob|Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.]] (1980-2011)
|-
| '''Children'''
| [[Cole Smithey]]
[[Christian Weston Chandler]]
|-
| '''Occupation'''
| Office worker (retired)
|-
|}

'''Barbara Anne Weston Chandler'''<ref>[[Blanca E-mails#Chris likes Blanca|Email to Blanca]]</ref> (born 1 [[Wikipedia:1941#October|October 1941]]<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d155.html</ref>) is the widow of [[Bob Chandler]] and mother of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and [[Cole Smithey]]. The sole recognition for her motherly qualities is the Mother of the Year [[2000]] Award Chris created for her.<ref>[[A Week With Christian Chandler#Page 13|A Week With Christian Chandler, page 13]]</ref> She has not won the award since.

==Family and early life==
Barbara is the fifth child (out of eight) of Joseph Otto "Joe" Weston (1896-1954) and Carrie Edna Wynn (1911-1967). They married in 1926, when Carrie was either 14 or 15 years old and Joseph [[Pedofork|was around 30]].<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d141.html#P141</ref> Barb's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic moonshiner, who carried out affairs and failed to provide even the most basic support for her mother's family.<ref>http://www.harveypowers.com/wynn/wynn/d118.html#P141</ref>

Chris stated in a leaked video that he and his mother are not liked by the members of the Weston family who have outlived [[Aunt Corrina]].<ref>[[Message for John Kyle]]</ref> It is not clear whether Chris meant to say that after Corrina's death all the Westons started hating him and his mother, or alternatively that by the time of Corrina's death no Weston other than her had a cordial relationship with Chris and Barb. Regardless of how this statement should be interpreted, it appears that Barbara's relationship with rest of her extended family is strained.

According to [[Facebook statuses|Facebook status]] Chris wrote on 30 [[January 2012]], Barbara lost her virginity at some point during her high school years.
===Cole and his various fathers===
[[Image:0467-CWC18th20.jpg|thumb|Cole visits for Chris's [[My big 18th party (story)|18th birthday]].]]

Barbara grew up and raised Chris's older half-brother [[Cole Smithey|Cole]] in Richmond, Virginia, near Virginia Commonwealth University and West Avenue.<ref name="Raising">[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)]]</ref>

Barbara gave birth to Cole in 1963. Throughout his life, Barbara has lied to Cole about who his father is because she's [[Wikipedia:Maury Povich|Maury Povich]] trash.

Based on the experiences with his various stepfathers, Cole thinks that Barbara has a "proclivity to isolate herself via scurrilous mates."<ref name="coleemail2">[[:File:Cole 07-03-06-2.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 2]]</ref>

====Jack Dale Smithey====
Barb insists that Cole's father is Jack Dale Smithey, to whom she claimed she was married, but records show she actually wasn't.<ref name="coleemail2" />

In 1995, an Internet post by a man claiming he was looking for his friend's absentee father, questioned the whereabouts of Jack Dale Smithey. According to the post, Smithey lived in Richmond in 1963 (the time Cole was born), and was a Merchant Marine. He later worked as a trucker for Pilot Trucking in North Carolina, but had not been heard of since 1964.<ref>http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/SURNAMES/1995-04/0798938259</ref>

Cole eventually hired a private detective who tracked down Jack Smithey in Sarasota, Florida.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails">[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

====Ran Coleman Yeatts====
[[Image:RanColemanYeatts-WakeForestHowler1961.png|thumb|Cole's [[TRUE and HONEST]] biological father, Ran Coleman Yeatts, from the 1961 Wake Forest yearbook.]]

Records, which Cole later found after making a trip back to Richmond, show Barb married one Ran ''Cole''man Yeatts in 1961. Yeatts was from South Hill, Virginia, and was enrolled at Wake Forest College as late as 1960. He was scheduled to graduate in 1961, the year he and Barb married.<ref>http://www.archive.org/stream/howler1960wake/howler1960wake_djvu.txt</ref>

To further fuel Cole's rage, Yeatts would visit him and was introduced as a "friend" of the family when he was a child. <ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" /> After Cole hired a private detective, Barbara hung up the phone on him when he called to ask about his father.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

Yeatts died on 6 June 2007 in South Hill. His obituary made no mention of Cole and, curiously, none of Barbara either.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071320/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=Ran-Yeatts&pid=88787372</ref>

====Jerry Harmon====
Jerry Harmon is [[Barbara]]'s former lover and alleged sinister step-father of [[Cole Smithey]], Chris's older half-brother. Barbara claims to have married Jerry after her relationships with Jack Dale Smithey and Ran Coleman Yeatts. However, in the course of Cole's investigation into his family history, he was unable to find a marriage certificate.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />

{{quote|I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry, where physical and mental punishments ran the gambit from bare-assed beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with glee by two deeply neurotic adults... Even at a very young age, I knew that they would abandon me. They were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember.|Cole on Barb and Jerry's parenting skills.<ref name="Cole Smithey E-mails" />}}
{{-}}

In his article [[Saturday Night Special]], Cole would further elaborate about his first step-father. According to Cole, Jerry was a professional magician who lived with Barbara in a second-floor apartment adjacent to the campus of Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. Jerry allegedly kept a gun in his nightstand drawer, which his stepson would play with, and was out cheating on his wife when an intruder came to the apartment, leaving Barb to have to fire the gun to scare them off. The shot ricocheted and nearly killed Cole as a result, hitting the wall a hair's breadth behind his head.

===Marriage with Bob===
[[Image:0033-MommasBirthday.jpg|thumb|She never was much of a looker.]]

Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing.<ref name="Mumble 3.5">[[Mumble 3.5]]</ref> Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-07-24-1.PNG|24 July 2007 email #1 from Cole to Chris]]</ref> According to Chris, Barbara did the [[How to Talk to Girls|pursuing]]: "She chased him down the hall." They got married in 1980.<ref name="Mumble 3.5" />

According to Chris, Barbara had not had sex with Bob for at least two decades before his death. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.<ref>[[IRC (27 December 2008)]]</ref>

During a portion of the time Chris spent attending junior high and high school in Midlothian, Virginia, Bob and Barbara lived separately. Until Chris finished the eighth grade, a space of roughly three years, Bob lived in Midlothian with Chris while Barbara remained in Ruckersville to look after [[14 Branchland Court]]. In [[Mailbag 32]], Chris claimed that the separation allowed Barbara to continue working at her job with Virginia Power until retirement.

With both Barbara and Bob retired, they resided with Chris in their Ruckersville home. It is difficult to ascertain what their relationship was like, but sources such as the tour of the house would suggest that Chris's parents neglected the family home and spent most of their time apart in separate areas of the house.

Barbara became a widow on 6 September 2011 when Bob died.<ref name="BobObit">http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600</ref>
{{-}}
<center>
<gallery>
File:Parenting Interview 001.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
File:Parenting Interview 002.jpg|Barb and Bob's answers on a parenting quiz
</gallery>
</center>
===Pampering of Chris===

{{quote|Yeah, but then my Mom is pretty much jealous of me loving another woman more than her.|Chris, describing his [[Wikipedia:Oedipus complex|Oedipus complex]].<ref>[[Mumble 10]]</ref>}}

[[Image:0028-ChristopherWMom1.jpg|thumb|Barbara evolved into Snorlax as she raised Chris.]]
[[Image:ImWorkingOnIt.png|thumb|left|Chris and Barbara in an intimate moment.]]

According to Cole, Bob and Barbara left Chris alone every day for years with the [[abusive babysitter]] while going out drinking, effectively ignoring the onset of the earliest symptoms of autism.<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> After Chris's initial diagnosis, and after their negligence was inevitably thrown back in their face, Barbara resorted to any means necessary to coax Chris into talking, most notoriously by bribing him with toys.<ref>[[Song of Christian]]</ref>

While both Chris's parents are largely responsible for Chris's current state, Barb has more often than not been the most active in protecting Chris from recognizing any failure or shortcoming on his part, doing everything from being his sole commission with [[Cutco]] to going as his date to his [[Manchester High School#The Seinor Prom|seinor [sic] prom]].<ref>[[Cutco]]</ref>

This pattern of accountability continues even into Chris's adult years. On at least two occasions, most notably after he was banned for good, Barbara visited [[the GAMe PLACe]] attempting to protect and defend her little snowflake and argue his case with [[Michael Snyder]], but to no avail.

As first evidenced by the "GAMe PLACe/4Chan picture" incident, she is extremely paranoid regarding Chris's online misadventures, likely because she fears that he'll [[Jerkhief|get]] [[Bagget|arrested]] and [[28 October 2011|go to prison]]. Given some of the violent states of some of his videos and Chris's [[Arrest|track record]], she's probably not too far from the truth. She may also suspect that Chris is a [[pedofork|pedophile]], as she [[Mumble 10| thought it possible that he may have fallen for a ''To Catch A Predator''-esque sting operation]] during the [[Julie]] fiasco. She even seems to suspect that [[Megan Schroeder]], one of the few women Chris has known who ''wasn't'' out to troll him, is partially responsible for the persecution he has endured over the years. She does her part to keep his activities under control by acting as Chris's personal concierge, as seen when she interrogated [[Ivy]] for about half an hour before letting her speak to Chris.<ref name="IvyQ&A">[[Ivy Q&A]]</ref>

Barbara constantly babies Chris and tells him how handsome he is.<ref>[[Sonichu Girls]] and [[White knight emails]]</ref> She also told Chris that the reason he often "blanks out" or gets confused isn't that he's a lazy dumbass, but that he's a "[[Chris and art|creative genius]] and is simply overwhelmed by having so many creative ideas".<ref>[[Kacey Call 12]]</ref>

However, it seems that even Barb has her limits. Like Bob, she was [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Coming out to my parents|ashamed of Chris's effeminate escapades]], claiming that she didn't raise a daughter, and that "tomgirl" is not a thing. [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia#Re: Mothers|She tried and failed]] to get Chris to stop wearing a bra and panties, even offering to pay him to stop.

It appears that Chris's diet doesn't worry Barb too much. In the night after the Chandler family moved back to Ruckersville, Bob and Chris refused a spaghetti dinner offered by Barb. As a response, Barb decided to forego cooking for her family and hasn't made a meal for Chris at least until [[April 2011]].<ref>See emails sent by [[Jackie E-mails 24|Chris to Jackie on 24 and 26 April 2011]].</ref>

To cap off their relationship, Chris allegedly revealed in private conversations that Barbara occasionally spoons with him.<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M ''PVCC NEW info: on Chris and Barbara spoon eachother!'' (YouTube)]</ref>

==Health problems==
===Physical===
[[Image:Cheers01.jpg|thumb|Artist's depiction.]]
[[File:Barb.PNG|thumb|left|''Arrangement in Pink and Purple: The Autist's Mother'']]

Like Chris, Barbara has been [[obesity|obese]]. As little as ten years ago Barbara was reasonably slim, but, along with Chris, ballooned out in more recent years, to the point of resembling an American [[Wikipedia:Rose West|Rose West]]. Her massive size earned her the affectionate nickname '''Snorlax''' from the [[trolls]]. Barb's size may have led to her [[stress|sleeping a lot]]<ref>[[BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7]]</ref> and usually skipping [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|church]].<ref>[[Church audio]]</ref>

In [[October 2009]], Barbara spent her birthday at the hospital with what the Chandlers thought was food poisoning.<ref name="9 October 2009">[[9 October 2009]]</ref> Barbara was diagnosed with [[Wikipedia:Colitis|colitis]], a gastrointestinal disease characterized by the inflammation of the colon. It manifests in diarrhea and cramps. Which kind of colitis has yet to be determined. It seems the Chandler family's diet has finally come to affect her, and in order to survive she will have to change her eating habits; considering their stubbornness, this clearly will end badly.

Hearing the plight of the Chandler family, [[Trolls|fans]] of Sonichu have created the website "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" to spread awareness regarding AIDS and to collect donations for research foundations and charities.<ref>[http://sites.google.com/site/barbarachandlerhasaids/home "Barbara Chandler Has AIDS" Awareness Website]</ref> Chris himself denied his mom has AIDS.<ref name="9 October 2009"/>

According to eyewitness reports, Barbara lost weight in 2012.<ref>[[This is how the Trial went‎]]</ref> Her weight loss is visible in photos Chris took of her at a 2012 Mythbusters tour stop in Washington, DC.<ref>[[:File:BarbMarch2012.png]]</ref>

In a [[Twitter|tweet]] to Cole from June 29, 2013, Chris tells him that "[he] ought to be over here putting bandages on [their] Mom's holey buttocks." It was not clear exactly what sort of problem this referred to, though it didn't sound pleasant. On October 14, 2013, Chris elaborated in a Facebook post, stating, "my mother stresses me with her continuous rants about her damn miniature scabie flies, her suffering, the low finances and shit!!!" Consensus was that the so called "holey buttocks" were in fact lesions. It is now believed that Barb currently has a colony of parasitic mites (rather than flies) that have burrowed into her bountiful booty. Naturally, while Barb is being eaten alive, Chris whines about having to take care of her.

On 23 August 2013 Chris revealed that Barbara had been afflicted with breast cancer but managed to survive.<ref>[[Facebook#Breast Cancer Awareness]]</ref> He did not give details about when was she diagnosed with the ailment, at what stage it was and what kind of treatment was Barb given.

As of June 2014, Barbara was still able to walk at least short distances, and was much slimmer than she had been in the past, no longer the morbidly obese blob that she was several years prior. As of June 2014, her posture and movement suggested that she suffered from osteoarthritis, or some other joint problem. Also, her legs and arms were quite thin and stick-like, as if her muscles had been wasting away from lack of use. This information suggested that Barbara's physical health was continuing to decline as of June 2014. {{cite}}

By August 2014, Chris was again begging for money on [[Facebook]], [[Lego|supposedly]] to pay dental fees, as his mother had cavities in her teeth which needed treatment.

In February 2015, she was filmed leaving a courtroom after Chris's hearing due to his [[Sonic Boom Protests|macing]], where she appears to have low muscle mass (probably due to her sedentary lifestyle), and, though still [[obese]], has, in fact slimmed down into a Munchlax.

===Mental===
During the [[Ivy]] Saga, Barb threatened to her family that she might kill herself, as a response to the stress she was going through.<ref name="IvyQ&A"/>

Chris labels Barb a "pack rat"<ref>[[Father Call]]</ref>; however, "hoarder" may be a more appropriate title. Barb compulsively hoards her purchases, which helped make the living room uninhabitable, and generally turn [[14 Branchland Court]] into the fire- and biohazard it is - or rather, [[Destruction Of Chris's House|was]].<ref>[[Tour of Chris's House]]</ref> When Bob was admitted to the hospital for the final time, he was quarantined for bug bites, obstensibly due to the conditions at the Chandler house. <ref>[[Rocky Shoemaker call]]</ref>

In a May 17, 2011 email to [[Jackie]], Chris claimed that his mother flew into a rage over his [[Tomgirl]] inclinations, forcing him to submit to a haircut and threatening to kill him.<ref name="jackie26" />

==Legal problems==
On [[28 October 2011]], Chris and Barb were caught in an incident with [[The GAMe PLACe]], and were actually arrested with several serious charges, with Barb's including felony assault and failure to stop. The two were later released on bail. After a succession of court hearings, Barb, along with her son, was arraigned on her felony charges on 10 July 2012. She was sentenced to community service and was put under a two-year probation, as well as being ordered to pay Michael Snyder's medical bills. When informed of the latter fact during the trial, Chris explained that his mother, a retired, obese, seventy-year-old woman, would take care of the charges for him. No one was particularly surprised at this revelation.

==Appearances==
===In ''Sonichu''===
[[File:Bc.PNG|thumb|Chris gets to live out his fantasy of being (and having) an adequate son.]]

In [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu'' #0]], Barbara makes a brief appearance in "Classic Sonichu Strips".

In [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], the male [[Dating education#In Sonichu|Dating Education]] students are given Barbara dolls to talk to.

According to the [[CWCipedia]], [[Sandy Rosechu]] and [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children]] go to Anneweston Elementary School.<ref>[[CWCipedia]] on [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Wild_Sonichu Wild Sonichu]</ref> It is unknown whether or not Sonichu and Rosechu's children still go that school after their [[Sonichu and Rosechu's children#Sonichu and Rosechu's children|evolution]].

===Audio===
* Private Skype chat with [[Sarah May]].
* 4 [[February 2009]], [[Mumble 2]]: Barbara denies singing while vacuuming Chris's [[room]].
* 17 [[February 2009]], [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 2]]: Barbara talks to Chris but when Julie wants to talk to her, Barbara says she isn't "able to talk to anybody right now."
* [[March 2009]]: Barbara takes over the phone from Chris when Clyde [[Clyde#Prostitutes|calls after the date with Emily]].
* [[Kacey Call 15]]: Chris keeps [[Kacey]] on the phone for nearly fourteen minutes while Barb talks about the value of [[Chris and his Ego|humility]], her poor health, and her relationship with Bob, among other things.
* [[November 2009]], [[Kacey and Liquid Call]]: Barbara tells Chris to "just hang up on the bitch!"
* 10 [[August 2010]], [[Matthew Noble call]]: Barbara claims that Megan "lied" to Chris and abruptly hangs up mid-sentence. Throughout the call, she can be heard denying that she and Bob are the slightest bit in the wrong. At one point she complains about the time Michael Snyder kicked her and Chris out of the GAMe PLACe following Chris's final ban from the store.
* [[Prank calls]]: Barbara yells in the background and foreground of several prank calls.

===Videos===
Barbara has appeared in five videos to date as of [[February 2014]]: off-camera in the [[Christian Weston Chandler Interview]], and on-camera (for the first time) in [[You're Always Pretty]]. [[ChandlerFamilyChristmas2004|Two more videos]] were leaked in December 2014 showing the Chandlers celebrating Christmas from a decade ago. Another video of her was shown as a [troll] who had been attending the [February 2014] Hearing, filmed her and Chris walking out of the courtroom.
{{-}}

==Gallery==

<center>
<gallery>
Image:0002-1-Baby Chris and Mommy.jpg|Barbara with baby Chris. Oh, how full of hope and promise.
Image:0027-ChristopherWMom2.jpg|"Talk, you little idiot!"
Image:0026-ChrisAndMom.jpg
Image:0107-ChristianWMom.jpg|This is when [[The Simpsons]] went downhill.
Image:0063-BobAndBarbaraNewLife.jpg
Image:0096-MomRetire4.jpg|Barbara's retirement party from secretarial services at Virginia Power in 1996.<ref>[[:Image:0078-CWCNote2.jpg|DVD, note 2]]</ref>
Image:0029-BarbaraWithDrinks.jpg
Image:0113-MomsBirthday97-1.jpg|From her 55th birthday.
Image:0229-ChristianAndMomInClass.jpg
Image:0037-BarbaraInGreen.jpg|Nothing says the 80s like a woman in a power suit and a lady tie.
Image:0041-BarbaraCorinaTomAndHerriet.jpg|Barb with [[Aunt Corrina]], Uncle Tom, and Aunt Harriet.
Image:0042-BarbaraCorinaHerrietAndElvis.jpg|The King left the building when he started to notice the foul smell of the Chandler house.
Image:0618-BarbaraIs60-1.jpg|Poor Barb, Chris put [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] on HER birthday cake.
Image:0074-BarbaraWSonicDoll.jpg
Image:0540-Prom2.jpg|It was originally believed this image was from Chris's graduation. Turns out this is from his senior prom, where he took his mom as his date.
Image:0549-Prom11.jpg|Barb, talking to [[Tiffany Gowen|Tiffany]], one of Chris's [[gal pals]], at the prom.
Image:Babura.PNG|Barb [[You're Always Pretty|is always pretty]].
BarbMarch2012.png|Barb in 2012, having devolved from a Snorlax into a Munchlax.
File:SnoopyDoobieDoo.png|With [[Snoopy]] in [[2013]].
File:LegoSnorlax.jpg|As [[Chris]] sees her in [[Lego]] form
</gallery>
</center>

==Sources==
<references/>

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZTK7XM3N GET OFF BEFORE I GO OFF]</s> DELETED

{{People}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Barbara}}
[[Category:Family Members]]

Sonic Boom Protests

2015-02-08T03:05:05Z

Muster128:

{{Ongoing}}
{{Incomplete}}
[[File:ChrisSonicBoomArms.jpg|thumb|Remember kids: always effect change through vandalism. [[26 December 2014|What could possibly go wrong?]]]]
[[File:PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg|thumb|Chris's protest inserts.]]

Towards late 2014, while everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about [[Chris and his Ego|less important]] [[Women's rights|political]] [[Chris and race|concerns]], [[Chris]] decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to '''make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue''' in their latest non-canon game in the series. He is so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he has gone so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees and even personally physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] is at its apotheosis, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channelling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it, by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he sees them. This would eventually lead to the infamous [[26 December 2014]] incident, in which he pepper-sprayed a GameStop employee and wound up in jail.

It once was unclear whether or not he will boycott ''Sonic Boom'' or just buy the games and watch the show like the [[Chris and brand loyalty|consumerist lemming]] he is. Given his irrational hatred and acts of vandalism towards otherwise available games, the former is more likely. And it was, because on 13 January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|revealed]] that he did indeed buy both versions of the game and [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that they were sent to him by [[Catherine]], making him a humongous hypocrite. This would eventually escalate further into glitterbombing Sega's American HQ.

Why Chris has such a bizarre obsession with such a minor, insignificant detail in the first place is still up for speculation. It could simply be some [[Manchester High School|overly-attached nostalgia]] to the 'original' [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], or possibly some inner-venting for his own [[Sonichu (comic)|failed franchise]]. Whatever the reason, it certainly isn't [[Chris and health|healthy]] for Chris, given his current [[Chris and psychology|state]].

==Protests==
===Sonic's Arms Hatred: The Backstory===
Chris's hatred for Sonic's blue arms started in February 2014, when the first advertisements for the TV show appeared. In December he offered the following chronology:
{{quotebox|3 December 2014

I have just received a question from one of my girl friends: "So, I'm curious, where did you hear about this blue-armed Sonic Issue? Is it something you discovered on your own, or is it a bigger issue in the Sonic community?"

To best answer this question, and to VERY MUCH my visual dismay and further recollection: I HAVE been feeling this SINCE Last February. I needed to search for the ONE Announcement Trailer Video of the DAMN TV Show. I Remember finding it for myself on either Facebook through SEGA's feed, or on YouTube through the video recommendations, on my laptop, as we were moving into the temporary house. I felt UTTER Shock at the sight of the Blue Arms on Sonic immediately as I watched it for the first time that day in Early February, 2014; This Year.

I was too busy and [[Stress|stressed]] from collecting as much as possible from the burnt house, and bringing them either to our Storage Unit, and this house's basement

I had not thought about the issue much, UNTIL Last June or July with the E3 Trailers being presented on the SEGA and Sonic Facebook Pages! Since Then, I have continuously protested the Blue Arms by commenting and messaging them that "Sonic's Arms are NOT Blue!!!" And among which, I have Warned Them that this sort of thing would NOT end well for them, and it was, and still is, a Very Bad Idea!!!

So, in short: I watched the damn trailer last February, I felt Pissed Off Then, I relearned about it last June or July: I Still felt Very Pissed Off, and NOW I am continually Growing and GROWING More Angry and PISSED OFF AT SEGA, NINTENDO AND CARTOON NETWORK AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED THERE!!!

I have Contacted SEGA and Commented NUMEROUSLY with MONTHS worth of time. They ignored me, Not Responded or Done Anything about it at all, and therefore the time for Talk IS LONG DONE AND OVERWITH!!! AND WE NEED ACTION UPON SEGA AND SONIC BOOM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

Thank you.

<nowiki>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_A3e2bl334</nowiki>}}
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris must ''really'' hate this drawing now.]]
For all the agitation and violence, Chris has never clearly explained exactly ''why'' this particular alteration to this particular cartoon character makes him so furious. The closest he came was in a June Facebook post:

{{quote|I only just heard and seen the ugly change a few weeks ago, and I had too many other [[Stress|stresses]] going on to act earlier.

Why do I feel this way?

The same reason why many people feel [[Chris and race|Michael Jackson should not have had to change his color]]. Would you want to change your skin detail, just for a "change of image" or an "insecurity of self-concept"?

I would not even [[Chris and death|commit suicide ever]], because of how low in self-confidence and self-esteem I have been feeling for YEARS. I'm going to eventually [[Chris and health|pass natural]].

So let's get Sonic's arm color changed back!}}

He returned to the Michael Jackson analogy in November, arguing that "this Blue Arm Travesty is as Gosh Awful as Michael Jackson's whiteface thing!" He was careful to add, "Nothing personal against the Pop Star singer....And nothing personal against anyone of any Race or Color either."

While it is difficult to decipher Chris’s garbled sentences, it is clear that his fury is linked to his belief that Sonic, like all cartoon characters, [[Chris and reality|is real and lives in a parallel universe]]. Like many autistic people, Chris is very resistant to change, especially when it is forced upon him. Chris would not change (“commit suicide”) even in the face of tremendous hardship. Sonic, however, like the King of Pop, was forced to change for trivial reasons like “image.” Sonic has been Chris’s lifelong hero with whom he identifies strongly, so he has taken this injustice very personally. Unfortunately, he falsely assumes that countless millions feel the same way.

At other times, however, Chris has latched onto the idea that the blue arms cause him "sensory overload." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_overload Sensory overload] is a broad term simply meaning that the body reacts to overstimulation of a sense, but in autistics it generally refers to an abstract, specific sensory stimulus (such as blue arms) which the autistic person is simply unable to stand. However, if sensory overload were a real issue, all he would need to do is avoid Sonic Boom. Chris has never before complained about sensory overload, and damningly has gone so far as to ''draw blue-armed hedgehogs himself'' such as [[Chris and art|some depictions]] of [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. The truth is that Chris believes that Sega is abusing his best friend, and it wounds him deeply.

===The Second Season===
After discovering that the ''Sonic Boom'' TV series was renewed for a second season, Chris posted on Facebook to complain about it again.

{{quotebox|5 December 2014

A Second Season of the ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ show with those, [[Stress sigh|UGH!!!]], Blue Arms?!!! Hell No!!!

Boycott ‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬ With Me!!! Refuse to Watch the channel!!! Refuse to go to their Website for Any Reason as well!!! And TELL THEM TO PULL THE DAMN CARTOON FROM THE AIR AND FORCE ‪#‎SEGA‬ TO RECOLOUR SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

http://www.gamnesia.com/news/sonic-boom-cartoon-is-very-successful-second-season-confirmed

[[File:GamenesiaSonicBoom.jpg|220px]]}}

===Spreading the Good Word===
{{quotebox|5 December 2014

Also, Spreading the good word around; commenting and messaging others as I have? Copy/Paste the following short-but-direct message, with the link below:

SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! SEGA NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING SONIC BOOM, UNTIL SEGA WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS ARM COLOUR BACK, NOW!!!

Join My Group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/}}

===Greatest Mistake Ever===
{{quotebox|7 December 2014

Follow My Lead to Force SEGA to Wise Up and Fix Their Greatest Mistake Ever!!!}}

Chris later on posted a link to this post to his Facebook group:

{{quotebox|
EVERYONE! I am going to hand-write to SEGA about this matter, and I have just called their 1-800 number and left a message last night. I will call again middle of this coming week if they do not call me back.

I am urging everyone in the group to write and/or telephone SEGA as well, and INSIST and DEMAND upon them to Recall Everything Sonic Boom, including the cartoon and video games, and Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately!!!

Suggest for them to do the following:
-Recall ALL remaining stock of the Sonic Boom Games and Merchandise from ALL of the stores carrying them.
-On the eSHOPS, IMMEDIATELY change the initial software to reflect Sonic with his original Tan Colour Arms, as well ALL video and imagery therein on there.
-Replace ALL of their imagery and videos on their official websites and pages to reflect Sonic with the original tan colour arms as well.
-IMMEDIATELY create NEW game Cards, Discs AND Inserts with Sonic's original tan colour arms. And on the software, the arm colour MUST be there INITIALLY; BEFORE any downloaded Software Updates.
-INSTILL downloadable Software Updates for all of the already sold games to reflect Sonic Initially with tan colour arms as well.
-REMOVE the Sonic Boom Cartoon from the Television and Internet airwaves, and change ALL of the Season One Episodes for Sonic to have his Original Tan Colour Arms, and Initially make that default in ALL following Seasons of episodes, including the Second Season.
-AND They Must Announce this Recall and Update, As well as Apologies to Every Individual Person who Has Found Little to GREATEST Offense in the new Arm Colour, IMMEDIATELY, WORLDWIDE BROADCAST AND IN PRINTED MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHERE!!!

Also, copy and paste the following true statement in your letters and telephone conversations:

"The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis. Combined with his Autism, he only gets more angry as each day passes with this pair of blue arms still remains. Either the Change back to him having tan colored arms happens IMMEDIATELY, or he and our THOUSANDS to MILLIONS of allies in the Sonic the Hedgehog Loyal Fanbase will only get more Angry and Outraged to the point of coming right over there to your office and doing something Very Bad there."

Also, if somehow you have managed to receive a copy of either Sonic Boom game (no questions asked), you should SMASH the Game Disc and or Game Card, and enclose the pieces with your Letter to SEGA of America. To show them that we are Very Serious and Passionate towards Rectifying their mistake in changing Sonic's arm colour.

Below is their address, and Customer Support phone number; LET'S GIVE THEM HELL AND BACK IN FORCING THEM TO WISE UP AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

'''[REDACTED]'''

‪#‎SEGA‬
‪#‎SonicTheHedgehog‬
‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎Nintendo‬
‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬
‪#‎GameStop‬
‪#‎ToysRUs‬
‪#‎WalMart‬
‪#‎Target‬
‪#‎BestBuy‬
‪#‎WiiU‬
‪#‎Wii‬
‪#‎3DS‬
‪#‎DS‬
‪#‎DSi‬
‪#‎AmyRose‬
‪#‎Tails‬
‪#‎Knuckles‬
‪#‎Robotnik‬
‪#‎Eggman‬}}

===Pickle Joke===
[[File:Black man in pickle suit (1).jpg|thumb|right|The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]'s reaction.]]
In Chris's new "FIX SONIC'S ARMS BACK" Facebook group, Chris posted about the pickle joke in the show, surprisingly being "neutral"
about it. Naturally, however, he eventually suspects it to be a [[Chris and his Ego|personal insult from SEGA]].
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===For Christ's and God's Sake===
Chris shared another of SEGA's Facebook posts, this time about introducing the main character, and Chris as usual complained about his blue arms.
{{quotebox|12 December 2014

For [[Chris and religion|Christ's and God's]] Sake, PLEASe CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

[[File:SonicIntroduction.png|220px]]}}

===E-mail to SEGA===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris contacted SEGA Customer Service via e-mail about Sonic's blue arms, noting a "[[User:FromtheWordsofBR|HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL]]" that impersonated him before.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-dec-12-chriss-e-mail-to-sega.6462/</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''Ticket #137668: SONIC'S ARMS ARE. NOT BLUE!!!:'''
Hello,

Thank you for contacting Sega of America Customer Service. Your request (#137668) has been received, and is being reviewed by our support staff. Response times may vary, but typically you will hear back from us within the same business day. Our agents are on hand from 9AM to 5PM Pacific Standard Time, Monday through Friday (with the exception of US national holidays). Requests received over the weekend will be answered the following Monday.

To review the status of this request and add additional comments, follow the link below:

http://help.sega.com/requests/137668

You may also reply via email.}}
{{quotebox|
'''Chrischansonichu, Nov 20 00:07:'''
Listen, I DID NOT contact you initially with the message there. That was a HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL PRETENDING TO BE ME.

But since I have your attention now, I will bring it up directly with you now. MONTHS NOW, Sonic's Arms Being Blue has SERIOUSLY BEEN BOTHERING ME! They have caused me sensory overload Every Time I see them! They Have To Be Changed Back Now!!! I have contacted SEGA via their Facebook page, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page. Please see attached screen cap photos.

PLEASE RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK!!! Or I will Do Worse!!!

I am still Very Pissed Off that no one has Fixed the Monstrosity that is Changing Sonic's Arm Color! I am Boycotting the Sonic Boom Games and TV Show and the Toys, minus the two I bought to illustrate my point, and everything else of it.

FIX SONIC'S ARM COLOR NOW, or I CONTINUE TO RANT, RAVE, BOYCOTT AND COMPLAIN!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! IF I FIND EITHER SONIC BOOM GAME ON ANY SHELVES IN THE STORES, WITH SONIC'S ARMS STILL BLUE, I WILL BE GOING SOO FUCKING CRAZY TO PREVENT EVERYONE FROM SEEING THE BLUE ARM MONSTROSITY!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME, SEGA?! I WOULD TOTALLY BOYCOTT A N CHANNEL AND ENCOURAGE EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THAT AS WELL!!!

WISE UP NOW AND RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM NOW, and maybe I would close the group and the petition and give y'all my money as well.

AND THIS IS MORE THAN JUST SOFTWARE UPDATES!!! YOU RECALL ALL OF THE WIIU AND 3DS GAMES, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE GAME INSERTS, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE INITIAL SOFTWARE DISCS AND CARTRIDGES, PRE-UPDATE!!!

AND PULL THE CARTOON AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE N SHOW!

AND RECALL ALL OF THE SONIC PLUSHES AND FIGURES FROM THE STORES, AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS WELL!!!

DO IT ALL NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SERIOUS SENSORY DAMAGE AND THEN SOME HELL TO PAY!!! }}

===The forces of [[CWCville]] besiege [[GameStop]]===
{{Main|26 December 2014}}

On 26 December, Chris broke several laws by entering a GameStop from which he had been banned, vandalizing a Sonic Boom display, and ''macing an employee'' who was calling security as Chris left the store. All of this was recorded by a presumably bewildered bystander, and was uploaded to Tumblr the next day. Within two days of his attack, Chris was incarcerated in Albemarle Regional Jail, then released on a $2500 bail, with a hearing scheduled for early 2015.

===Chris gets Sonic Boom for Christmas===
Phone chat log:
{{quotebox|26 December 2014

[MALE VOICE]: It's the uhh-the uhh- Sonic Boom game. [hand game to Chris]

CHRIS: Ok, I'll take it as a gift, thank you.

[MALE VOICE]: No problem man. I hope you enjoy it.

CHRIS: I'm hoping that they come out with an update where they change his arm color back.

[MALE VOICE]: Why-Why would they change his arm color?

CHRIS: Well, didn't you notice on the cover they did, it's. . . . . . .well, you look on his left arm. . . . .it's blue there.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. So he has blue arms?

CHRIS: Yeah. I really hate that change.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. What for?

CHRIS: Ehh. Just. . . . .too much. Just too drastic. It's like Michael Jackson changing his skin color.

[MALE VOICE]: Have, have you asked them, sent them any feedback, asked them to change it. . .

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah I did, when I first saw the TV trailer, the TV show trailer right before E3. They just pretty much swept me under the rug and blocked me from their facebook.

[MALE VOICE]: Why would they do that?

CHRIS: Well, they did. And also, I've been repetitive, like, "Sonic's arms are not freakin' blue". And. . . .yeah, I have threatened them like, you know, if you don't change his arms back. . . . .

[MALE VOICE]: What did you say? What did you threaten them with?

CHRIS: Life threats. Like you know, I took a- I had bought a plush of the new sonic with the blue arms, and I covered his new arms with flesh colored Crayola Model Magic, and I like took a couple of photographs of me holdin' it, and I'm like pulling his arms off, and I said, you better do it, or I will, parentheses, not, tear his arms off.

[MALE VOICE]: So you made life threats against Sega then?

CHRIS: Well, ehh, not in the direct sense.

[MALE VOICE]: You mean that you threatened to kill them?

CHRIS: No.

[MALE VOICE]: No? Well, I mean, you said life threats, so. . . . . . . .it sounds like you're really passionate about it.

CHRIS: Yes I am.

[MALE VOICE]: Well, I mean, Sonic, his arms were uhh, flesh colored before that, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: So, I mean, can't you just ignore the blue armed Sonic?

CHRIS: I can- I can- it's just too much. Every time I look at the blue arms, even in anything related to the games which they show on cartoon network, I see the blue arms, I go into sensory overload and get really, really, more pissed off.

[MALE VOICE]: Yeah. Chris, when these cyberbullies first started attacking you, and stuff like that, you got pissed off then, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: . . . and it ended up being a bad thing when you reacted, right?

CHRIS: Yeah, but except, I'm not reacting to a troll attack, I'm reacting to something which has been done. Like a, like a, presidential decision that has gone really wrong. Like, let's say Obama's. . . . .life-care thing?

[MALE VOICE]: Obamacare. The health-care thing. So you're anti-Obamacare then?

CHRIS: Well, uhh, I'm not one hundred percent, I have heard about uhh, hmmmm, uhh, I don't remember exactly-but-or how to phrase it, but I have the gist of it.
}}

===Chris, Catherine, and Sonic===
January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/confirmed-chriss-recent-walmart-altercation-updated.6871/]

===Green irises are better than blue arms===
{{quotebox|6 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-attacking-people-is-segas-fault-green-irises-are-better-than-blue-arms.6928/]

}}

===Chris hates Sega for forcing him to attack===
{{quotebox|8 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-8-chris-hates-sega-for-forcing-him-to-attack-somebody.6979/]

}}

===Chris responds to Sonichu arm trolling===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-10-15-sonichus-arms-are-not-yellow.7009/]

}}

===Chris continues his hatred===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!

}}

===Chris Rages On===
{{quotebox|12 January 2015

Off my rocker?! How Dare She? My Protest was Sound, Valid and Meant to be Good. And she completely ignores that on the day I had to defend myself from that Ass Manager, HE VERBALLY ATTACKED AND OFFENDED ME. And I had no idea of what other pains and stresses He was capable of doing, and I did not want him following me either. You All Do Not Understand my Fragile Mind, nor do Any of You All have Any Caring Nor Understanding to Leave a mentally scarred, damaged and flawed individual like me Be and At Personal Peace of Mind. BUT HELL NO! YOU ALL KEEP ON STRESSING ME MORE AND CAUSING PLEASANT DAYS GONE BAD ON ME. Especially MOST OF EVERY LAST MALE IN THIS WORLD; All of you are nothing but immature, borish, uncouth, and damned Neanderthals. It is no wonder why a lot of Women detest the lot of you, and why I am Most Disgusted and Ashamed to have been forced to be born a damned member of your Male Gender. Hmpf!
}}

===Chris Gives Up and Continues On at the Same Time===
{{quotebox|13 January 2015

This is in response to the post below this one about the so-called list of my purchased Nintendo software. Direct to the point: I have sincerely NEVER purchased either Sonic Boom game. The 3DS game, however, was actually Hand Given to me as a Gift from my ex-girlfriend, Catherine's Cousin, Al, after out bowling outing in Early December, 2014; Last Month.
I have registered the 3DS card through my Club Nintendo account, and explicitly told them in the survey that game Was Gifted to me; I Had Not Purchased it, period. And I Had shortly after received a copy of the Wii U Game In the Mail. I had disposed of the envelope, because there was no return address. I Would have registered that as well, but there as NO Club Nintendo code enclosed. I have Never booted or played either game, and I certainly never have inserted either card or disc into any of my handhelds or consoles at all ever. And to spare having it quoted in the comments below this point, or in any future comments and posts in this group or on my page: Being Gifted the thing you are protesting against against your initial will, regardless of acceptance out of being polite or whatever, it does NOT Change my position or aynthing integral of the Protest that I Have personally started and still am working towards the cause, period.

SEGA!!! CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! YOUR BLUE ARMS HAVE HURT NOT ONLY ME IN A NUMBER OF GREAT WAYS, BUT COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLE (GREATER THAN A THOUSAND INDIVIDUALS) AS WELL!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR LACK OF RECALL AND CORRECTIONS!!!}}

Here, Chris is referencing this[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-01-13-nintendo-employee-reveals-details-of-chriss-nintendo-transactions.7042/] Cwcki Forums article; apparently he lurks the forums frequently.

===Something Important===
{{quotebox|15 January 2015
I have something important to share of importance. After the incident on the 26th, on the court date on the 29th, the judge had documented that neither I, nor Any local GameStop stores or employees, come near or contact each other. I Have not contacted or visited any of them, but the day after on the 30th, One of them called My Cell Phone, TWICE, on the 30th, the day after that court date. I have Not listened to either of their messages; I had marked both of them "As Read". They both were just automatically removed from my voicemail list. But I screen capped the details from my phone a few days ago. I've had the numbers of the four GameStops, for any inquiries I had to make in the past.

Anyhow, They have violated the Court Rules there.

}}

===Kengle the Troll===
{{quotebox|19 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-19-kengle-trolls-chris-with-blue-arms-purchase.7218/]
}}

===You Dropped a Glitterbomb on Me, Baby===
[[File:GlitterbombNotice.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's hatred for something so minor becomes greatly unhealthy.]]
On 30 [[January 2015]], a document was leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]], revealing that Chris has taken one step above macing employees and is ''threatening to glitterbomb'' Sega's American headquarters. Initially thought to be work done by weens, Marvin the Forum Member eventually stood up and confirmed this actually is Chris's doing.
{{quotebox|SEGA of America Inc. 350 Rhode Island St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94103
'''For Every Week Sonic the Hedgehog's arms remain blue in the "Sonic Boom" Video Games AND TV Cartoon Show, and that you all at SEGA continue to NOT Public Announce your apology for the change as well as RECALLING Everything of this Sonic Boom to change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately on Television, Newsprint and Internet Posts and Videos, you all will receive a sparkling mess. And to stop this glittery combination from coming in, you WILL Change Sonic the Hedgehogs Arm Colour back immediately in EVERYTHING Sonic Boom, including PULLING the cartoon from Cartoon Network to change the arm colour back in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the show.'''

'''Thank you.'''}}

The document reveals that Chris refuses to stop committing acts of battery unless a multimedia company gives in to a 30-year-old manchild's threats. Considering his other recent wrongdoings, this most likely won't end well for Chris in the [[April 2015]] trial. It also shows his complete lack of knowing what glitterbombing actually ''is''. To glitterbomb someone is to throw glitter on your opponent in public, ''not'' sending envelopes with glitter inside.

===Chris's 'Friend' weighs in on Chris' Sonic Boom Protests===
{{quotebox|2 Febuary 2015
Hey [REDACTED],
I saw that video and absolutely agree 100% that Chris was unjustified in his actions. I would have supported the employee whipping his ass to be honest. I think Chris needs to go to jail, he has never been held accountable for his actions. Destruction of property, assault, etc are serious stuff. He needs counseling and professional services that I think without incarceration he will never receive.

I'm glad that the Cwiki is no longer what it was in its incarnation, he was using it as an excuse for his behavior, and now can't use it as a fallback on to his issues.

I really have little defense for Christian for what hes been doing, but I hope he can come out a better person.
}}

===Chris's EGO butts in!===
After hearing about Sega downsizing to focus on PC and Mobile games, Chris thought that he had a hand in it through his boycott:
{{quotebox|2 February 2015
Regardless of SEGA downsizing, Which I feel our boycotting has brought into play, we Have made SEGA take notice of their Mistake in changing Sonic's Arm Color among this term of events. And THEY still CAN create and distribute Downloadable Update Data for BOTH Sonic Boom Games to change his Arm Color Back at the very least.}}

===References===
<references/>

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Sonic Boom Protests

2015-02-08T03:04:12Z

Muster128: Undo revision 182343 by Muster128 (talk)

{{Ongoing}}
{{Incomplete}}
[[File:ChrisSonicBoomArms.jpg|thumb|Remember kids: always effect change through vandalism. [[26 December 2014|What could possibly go wrong?]]]]
[[File:PROTESTING SANIC BUM.jpg|thumb|Chris's protest inserts.]]

Towards late 2014, while everyone else was posting on [[Facebook]] about [[Chris and his Ego|less important]] [[Women's rights|political]] [[Chris and race|concerns]], [[Chris]] decided that the most important cause of the time was protesting [[Sega]]'s decision to '''make [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'s arms blue''' in their latest non-canon game in the series. He is so passionate about this supposed defamation of his favorite video game character that he has gone so far as to write incoherent, rambling letters to Sega, throw tantrums about it on Facebook, [[Death threats|threaten the lives]] of Sega employees and even personally physically assault retail staff. His angry, incoherent letters to Sega clearly show that Chris's [[Chris and reality|prolonged estrangement from reality]] is at its apotheosis, and that concepts such as civility, moderation and channelling [[Chris and anger|anger]] in any way that doesn't involve ranting like a child throwing a tantrum are by now completely alien concepts to Chris, or at least go out the window whenever he's annoyed. Unfortunately, unlike previous bouts of anger where Chris would film himself or take to social media to rage at his target, in this instance, he decided to take a hands-on approach to it, by vandalizing copies of ''Sonic Boom'' wherever he sees them. This would eventually lead to the infamous [[26 December 2014]] incident, in which he pepper-sprayed a GameStop employee and wound up in jail.

It once was unclear whether or not he will boycott ''Sonic Boom'' or just buy the games and watch the show like the [[Chris and brand loyalty|consumerist lemming]] he is. Given his irrational hatred and acts of vandalism towards otherwise available games, the former is more likely. And it was, because on 13 January 2015, it was [[CWCki Forums|revealed]] that he did indeed buy both versions of the game and [[List of Chris's lies|claimed]] that they were sent to him by [[Catherine]], making him a humongous hypocrite. This would eventually escalate further into glitterbombing Sega's American HQ.

Why Chris has such a bizarre obsession with such a minor, insignificant detail in the first place is still up for speculation. It could simply be some [[Manchester High School|overly-attached nostalgia]] to the 'original' [[Sonic the Hedgehog]], or possibly some inner-venting for his own [[Sonichu (comic)|failed franchise]]. Whatever the reason, it certainly isn't [[Chris and health|healthy]] for Chris, given his current [[Chris and psychology|state]].

==Protests==
===Sonic's Arms Hatred: The Backstory===
Chris's hatred for Sonic's blue arms started in February 2014, when the first advertisements for the TV show appeared. In December he offered the following chronology:
{{quotebox|3 December 2014

I have just received a question from one of my girl friends: "So, I'm curious, where did you hear about this blue-armed Sonic Issue? Is it something you discovered on your own, or is it a bigger issue in the Sonic community?"

To best answer this question, and to VERY MUCH my visual dismay and further recollection: I HAVE been feeling this SINCE Last February. I needed to search for the ONE Announcement Trailer Video of the DAMN TV Show. I Remember finding it for myself on either Facebook through SEGA's feed, or on YouTube through the video recommendations, on my laptop, as we were moving into the temporary house. I felt UTTER Shock at the sight of the Blue Arms on Sonic immediately as I watched it for the first time that day in Early February, 2014; This Year.

I was too busy and [[Stress|stressed]] from collecting as much as possible from the burnt house, and bringing them either to our Storage Unit, and this house's basement

I had not thought about the issue much, UNTIL Last June or July with the E3 Trailers being presented on the SEGA and Sonic Facebook Pages! Since Then, I have continuously protested the Blue Arms by commenting and messaging them that "Sonic's Arms are NOT Blue!!!" And among which, I have Warned Them that this sort of thing would NOT end well for them, and it was, and still is, a Very Bad Idea!!!

So, in short: I watched the damn trailer last February, I felt Pissed Off Then, I relearned about it last June or July: I Still felt Very Pissed Off, and NOW I am continually Growing and GROWING More Angry and PISSED OFF AT SEGA, NINTENDO AND CARTOON NETWORK AND EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED THERE!!!

I have Contacted SEGA and Commented NUMEROUSLY with MONTHS worth of time. They ignored me, Not Responded or Done Anything about it at all, and therefore the time for Talk IS LONG DONE AND OVERWITH!!! AND WE NEED ACTION UPON SEGA AND SONIC BOOM NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

Thank you.

<nowiki>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_A3e2bl334</nowiki>}}
[[File:001-Christophers1stSonic.jpg|thumb|right|Chris must ''really'' hate this drawing now.]]
For all the agitation and violence, Chris has never clearly explained exactly ''why'' this particular alteration to this particular cartoon character makes him so furious. The closest he came was in a June Facebook post:

{{quote|I only just heard and seen the ugly change a few weeks ago, and I had too many other [[Stress|stresses]] going on to act earlier.

Why do I feel this way?

The same reason why many people feel [[Chris and race|Michael Jackson should not have had to change his color]]. Would you want to change your skin detail, just for a "change of image" or an "insecurity of self-concept"?

I would not even [[Chris and death|commit suicide ever]], because of how low in self-confidence and self-esteem I have been feeling for YEARS. I'm going to eventually [[Chris and health|pass natural]].

So let's get Sonic's arm color changed back!}}

He returned to the Michael Jackson analogy in November, arguing that "this Blue Arm Travesty is as Gosh Awful as Michael Jackson's whiteface thing!" He was careful to add, "Nothing personal against the Pop Star singer....And nothing personal against anyone of any Race or Color either."

While it is difficult to decipher Chris’s garbled sentences, it is clear that his fury is linked to his belief that Sonic, like all cartoon characters, [[Chris and reality|is real and lives in a parallel universe]]. Like many autistic people, Chris is very resistant to change, especially when it is forced upon him. Chris would not change (“commit suicide”) even in the face of tremendous hardship. Sonic, however, like the King of Pop, was forced to change for trivial reasons like “image.” Sonic has been Chris’s lifelong hero with whom he identifies strongly, so he has taken this injustice very personally. Unfortunately, he falsely assumes that countless millions feel the same way.

At other times, however, Chris has latched onto the idea that the blue arms cause him "sensory overload." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_overload Sensory overload] is a broad term simply meaning that the body reacts to overstimulation of a sense, but in autistics it generally refers to an abstract, specific sensory stimulus (such as blue arms) which the autistic person is simply unable to stand. However, if sensory overload were a real issue, all he would need to do is avoid Sonic Boom. Chris has never before complained about sensory overload, and damningly has gone so far as to ''draw blue-armed hedgehogs himself'' such as [[Chris and art|some depictions]] of [[Bubbles Rosechu]]. The truth is that Chris believes that Sega is abusing his best friend, and it wounds him deeply.

===The Second Season===
After discovering that the ''Sonic Boom'' TV series was renewed for a second season, Chris posted on Facebook to complain about it again.

{{quotebox|5 December 2014

A Second Season of the ‪#‎SonicBoom‬ show with those, [[Stress sigh|UGH!!!]], Blue Arms?!!! Hell No!!!

Boycott ‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬ With Me!!! Refuse to Watch the channel!!! Refuse to go to their Website for Any Reason as well!!! And TELL THEM TO PULL THE DAMN CARTOON FROM THE AIR AND FORCE ‪#‎SEGA‬ TO RECOLOUR SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

http://www.gamnesia.com/news/sonic-boom-cartoon-is-very-successful-second-season-confirmed

[[File:GamenesiaSonicBoom.jpg|220px]]}}

===Spreading the Good Word===
{{quotebox|5 December 2014

Also, Spreading the good word around; commenting and messaging others as I have? Copy/Paste the following short-but-direct message, with the link below:

SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT BLUE, AND THEY SERIOUSLY CAUSE SENSORY OVERLOADS IN ME!!! SEGA NEEDS TO RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

FOLLOW ME IN BOYCOTTING SONIC BOOM, UNTIL SEGA WISES UP, RECALLS EVERYTHING AND CHANGES HIS ARM COLOUR BACK, NOW!!!

Join My Group, [[FIX SONIC'S ARMS IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!]], and Sign Our Petition NOW!!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/fixSonicsArmsImmediatelySEGA/}}

===Greatest Mistake Ever===
{{quotebox|7 December 2014

Follow My Lead to Force SEGA to Wise Up and Fix Their Greatest Mistake Ever!!!}}

Chris later on posted a link to this post to his Facebook group:

{{quotebox|
EVERYONE! I am going to hand-write to SEGA about this matter, and I have just called their 1-800 number and left a message last night. I will call again middle of this coming week if they do not call me back.

I am urging everyone in the group to write and/or telephone SEGA as well, and INSIST and DEMAND upon them to Recall Everything Sonic Boom, including the cartoon and video games, and Change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately!!!

Suggest for them to do the following:
-Recall ALL remaining stock of the Sonic Boom Games and Merchandise from ALL of the stores carrying them.
-On the eSHOPS, IMMEDIATELY change the initial software to reflect Sonic with his original Tan Colour Arms, as well ALL video and imagery therein on there.
-Replace ALL of their imagery and videos on their official websites and pages to reflect Sonic with the original tan colour arms as well.
-IMMEDIATELY create NEW game Cards, Discs AND Inserts with Sonic's original tan colour arms. And on the software, the arm colour MUST be there INITIALLY; BEFORE any downloaded Software Updates.
-INSTILL downloadable Software Updates for all of the already sold games to reflect Sonic Initially with tan colour arms as well.
-REMOVE the Sonic Boom Cartoon from the Television and Internet airwaves, and change ALL of the Season One Episodes for Sonic to have his Original Tan Colour Arms, and Initially make that default in ALL following Seasons of episodes, including the Second Season.
-AND They Must Announce this Recall and Update, As well as Apologies to Every Individual Person who Has Found Little to GREATEST Offense in the new Arm Colour, IMMEDIATELY, WORLDWIDE BROADCAST AND IN PRINTED MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHERE!!!

Also, copy and paste the following true statement in your letters and telephone conversations:

"The very sight of Sonic's Blue Arms makes our ally, Christian Weston Chandler of Ruckersville, VA, suffer from consistent Sensory Overloads. Upon seeing them, his brain immediately shuts down into a momentary to lengthy (depending on how long he is forced to displeasingly endure the horrific sight) state of mental paralysis. Combined with his Autism, he only gets more angry as each day passes with this pair of blue arms still remains. Either the Change back to him having tan colored arms happens IMMEDIATELY, or he and our THOUSANDS to MILLIONS of allies in the Sonic the Hedgehog Loyal Fanbase will only get more Angry and Outraged to the point of coming right over there to your office and doing something Very Bad there."

Also, if somehow you have managed to receive a copy of either Sonic Boom game (no questions asked), you should SMASH the Game Disc and or Game Card, and enclose the pieces with your Letter to SEGA of America. To show them that we are Very Serious and Passionate towards Rectifying their mistake in changing Sonic's arm colour.

Below is their address, and Customer Support phone number; LET'S GIVE THEM HELL AND BACK IN FORCING THEM TO WISE UP AND CHANGE SONIC'S ARMS BACK IMMEDIATELY!!!

'''[REDACTED]'''

‪#‎SEGA‬
‪#‎SonicTheHedgehog‬
‪#‎SonicBoom‬
‪#‎Nintendo‬
‪#‎CartoonNetwork‬
‪#‎GameStop‬
‪#‎ToysRUs‬
‪#‎WalMart‬
‪#‎Target‬
‪#‎BestBuy‬
‪#‎WiiU‬
‪#‎Wii‬
‪#‎3DS‬
‪#‎DS‬
‪#‎DSi‬
‪#‎AmyRose‬
‪#‎Tails‬
‪#‎Knuckles‬
‪#‎Robotnik‬
‪#‎Eggman‬}}

===Pickle Joke===
[[File:Black man in pickle suit (1).jpg|thumb|right|The [[Man in the Pickle Suit]]'s reaction.]]
In Chris's new "FIX SONIC'S ARMS BACK" Facebook group, Chris posted about the pickle joke in the show, surprisingly being "neutral"
about it. Naturally, however, he eventually suspects it to be a [[Chris and his Ego|personal insult from SEGA]].
{{quotebox|10 December 2014

I know well I said not to talk about the show much, or post any spoilers. This time, though, I am willing to make this exception.

I have heard that in the show, Sonic ordered a sandwich with no pickles, but is served the sandwich with extra pickles. I feel neutral/indifferent about the joke. But my friend read a bit into it as a possible reference to myself, as well as a possible middle finger gesture to me from SEGA. Being Serious and Sincere, no sarcasm or jokes: what do y'all think/feel from this lame pickled vegetable joke? Answer in the comments of this post.}}

===For Christ's and God's Sake===
Chris shared another of SEGA's Facebook posts, this time about introducing the main character, and Chris as usual complained about his blue arms.
{{quotebox|12 December 2014

For [[Chris and religion|Christ's and God's]] Sake, PLEASe CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY, SEGA!!!

[[File:SonicIntroduction.png|220px]]}}

===E-mail to SEGA===
On 12 [[December 2014]], Chris contacted SEGA Customer Service via e-mail about Sonic's blue arms, noting a "[[User:FromtheWordsofBR|HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL]]" that impersonated him before.<ref>http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2014-dec-12-chriss-e-mail-to-sega.6462/</ref>

{{quoteboxgreen|'''Ticket #137668: SONIC'S ARMS ARE. NOT BLUE!!!:'''
Hello,

Thank you for contacting Sega of America Customer Service. Your request (#137668) has been received, and is being reviewed by our support staff. Response times may vary, but typically you will hear back from us within the same business day. Our agents are on hand from 9AM to 5PM Pacific Standard Time, Monday through Friday (with the exception of US national holidays). Requests received over the weekend will be answered the following Monday.

To review the status of this request and add additional comments, follow the link below:

http://help.sega.com/requests/137668

You may also reply via email.}}
{{quotebox|
'''Chrischansonichu, Nov 20 00:07:'''
Listen, I DID NOT contact you initially with the message there. That was a HeXBox -Loving INTERNET TROLL PRETENDING TO BE ME.

But since I have your attention now, I will bring it up directly with you now. MONTHS NOW, Sonic's Arms Being Blue has SERIOUSLY BEEN BOTHERING ME! They have caused me sensory overload Every Time I see them! They Have To Be Changed Back Now!!! I have contacted SEGA via their Facebook page, as well as the Sonic the Hedgehog Facebook page. Please see attached screen cap photos.

PLEASE RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM RIGHT NOW AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR BACK!!! Or I will Do Worse!!!

I am still Very Pissed Off that no one has Fixed the Monstrosity that is Changing Sonic's Arm Color! I am Boycotting the Sonic Boom Games and TV Show and the Toys, minus the two I bought to illustrate my point, and everything else of it.

FIX SONIC'S ARM COLOR NOW, or I CONTINUE TO RANT, RAVE, BOYCOTT AND COMPLAIN!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!! IF I FIND EITHER SONIC BOOM GAME ON ANY SHELVES IN THE STORES, WITH SONIC'S ARMS STILL BLUE, I WILL BE GOING SOO FUCKING CRAZY TO PREVENT EVERYONE FROM SEEING THE BLUE ARM MONSTROSITY!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME, SEGA?! I WOULD TOTALLY BOYCOTT A N CHANNEL AND ENCOURAGE EVERYONE ELSE TO DO THAT AS WELL!!!

WISE UP NOW AND RECALL EVERYTHING SONIC BOOM NOW, and maybe I would close the group and the petition and give y'all my money as well.

AND THIS IS MORE THAN JUST SOFTWARE UPDATES!!! YOU RECALL ALL OF THE WIIU AND 3DS GAMES, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE GAME INSERTS, AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN THE INITIAL SOFTWARE DISCS AND CARTRIDGES, PRE-UPDATE!!!

AND PULL THE CARTOON AND CHANGE THE ARM COLOURS IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE N SHOW!

AND RECALL ALL OF THE SONIC PLUSHES AND FIGURES FROM THE STORES, AND CHANGE HIS ARM COLOUR ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AS WELL!!!

DO IT ALL NOW, OR THERE WILL BE SERIOUS SENSORY DAMAGE AND THEN SOME HELL TO PAY!!! }}

===The forces of [[CWCville]] besiege [[GameStop]]===
{{Main|26 December 2014}}

On 26 December, Chris broke several laws by entering a GameStop from which he had been banned, vandalizing a Sonic Boom display, and ''macing an employee'' who was calling security as Chris left the store. All of this was recorded by a presumably bewildered bystander, and was uploaded to Tumblr the next day. Within two days of his attack, Chris was incarcerated in Albemarle Regional Jail, then released on a $2500 bail, with a hearing scheduled for early 2015.

===Chris gets Sonic Boom for Christmas===
Phone chat log:
{{quotebox|26 December 2014

[MALE VOICE]: It's the uhh-the uhh- Sonic Boom game. [hand game to Chris]

CHRIS: Ok, I'll take it as a gift, thank you.

[MALE VOICE]: No problem man. I hope you enjoy it.

CHRIS: I'm hoping that they come out with an update where they change his arm color back.

[MALE VOICE]: Why-Why would they change his arm color?

CHRIS: Well, didn't you notice on the cover they did, it's. . . . . . .well, you look on his left arm. . . . .it's blue there.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. So he has blue arms?

CHRIS: Yeah. I really hate that change.

[MALE VOICE]: Ohh. What for?

CHRIS: Ehh. Just. . . . .too much. Just too drastic. It's like Michael Jackson changing his skin color.

[MALE VOICE]: Have, have you asked them, sent them any feedback, asked them to change it. . .

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah I did, when I first saw the TV trailer, the TV show trailer right before E3. They just pretty much swept me under the rug and blocked me from their facebook.

[MALE VOICE]: Why would they do that?

CHRIS: Well, they did. And also, I've been repetitive, like, "Sonic's arms are not freakin' blue". And. . . .yeah, I have threatened them like, you know, if you don't change his arms back. . . . .

[MALE VOICE]: What did you say? What did you threaten them with?

CHRIS: Life threats. Like you know, I took a- I had bought a plush of the new sonic with the blue arms, and I covered his new arms with flesh colored Crayola Model Magic, and I like took a couple of photographs of me holdin' it, and I'm like pulling his arms off, and I said, you better do it, or I will, parentheses, not, tear his arms off.

[MALE VOICE]: So you made life threats against Sega then?

CHRIS: Well, ehh, not in the direct sense.

[MALE VOICE]: You mean that you threatened to kill them?

CHRIS: No.

[MALE VOICE]: No? Well, I mean, you said life threats, so. . . . . . . .it sounds like you're really passionate about it.

CHRIS: Yes I am.

[MALE VOICE]: Well, I mean, Sonic, his arms were uhh, flesh colored before that, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: So, I mean, can't you just ignore the blue armed Sonic?

CHRIS: I can- I can- it's just too much. Every time I look at the blue arms, even in anything related to the games which they show on cartoon network, I see the blue arms, I go into sensory overload and get really, really, more pissed off.

[MALE VOICE]: Yeah. Chris, when these cyberbullies first started attacking you, and stuff like that, you got pissed off then, right?

CHRIS: Yeah.

[MALE VOICE]: . . . and it ended up being a bad thing when you reacted, right?

CHRIS: Yeah, but except, I'm not reacting to a troll attack, I'm reacting to something which has been done. Like a, like a, presidential decision that has gone really wrong. Like, let's say Obama's. . . . .life-care thing?

[MALE VOICE]: Obamacare. The health-care thing. So you're anti-Obamacare then?

CHRIS: Well, uhh, I'm not one hundred percent, I have heard about uhh, hmmmm, uhh, I don't remember exactly-but-or how to phrase it, but I have the gist of it.
}}

===Chris, Catherine, and Sonic===
January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/confirmed-chriss-recent-walmart-altercation-updated.6871/]

===Green irises are better than blue arms===
{{quotebox|6 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-attacking-people-is-segas-fault-green-irises-are-better-than-blue-arms.6928/]

}}

===Chris hates Sega for forcing him to attack===
{{quotebox|8 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-8-chris-hates-sega-for-forcing-him-to-attack-somebody.6979/]

}}

===Chris responds to Sonichu arm trolling===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/fb-1-10-15-sonichus-arms-are-not-yellow.7009/]

}}

===Chris continues his hatred===
{{quotebox|10 January 2015
Ugh!!! I Fucking Hate These People for continuing to allow the damn blue arms to exist! And I fucking hate them for changing the arm colour in the first place and ultimately from that damn seed event, force me to be attacked, having to defend myself, and forcing me to spend a weekend in jail!

}}

===Chris Rages On===
{{quotebox|12 January 2015

Off my rocker?! How Dare She? My Protest was Sound, Valid and Meant to be Good. And she completely ignores that on the day I had to defend myself from that Ass Manager, HE VERBALLY ATTACKED AND OFFENDED ME. And I had no idea of what other pains and stresses He was capable of doing, and I did not want him following me either. You All Do Not Understand my Fragile Mind, nor do Any of You All have Any Caring Nor Understanding to Leave a mentally scarred, damaged and flawed individual like me Be and At Personal Peace of Mind. BUT HELL NO! YOU ALL KEEP ON STRESSING ME MORE AND CAUSING PLEASANT DAYS GONE BAD ON ME. Especially MOST OF EVERY LAST MALE IN THIS WORLD; All of you are nothing but immature, borish, uncouth, and damned Neanderthals. It is no wonder why a lot of Women detest the lot of you, and why I am Most Disgusted and Ashamed to have been forced to be born a damned member of your Male Gender. Hmpf!
}}

===Chris Gives Up and Continues On at the Same Time===
{{quotebox|13 January 2015

This is in response to the post below this one about the so-called list of my purchased Nintendo software. Direct to the point: I have sincerely NEVER purchased either Sonic Boom game. The 3DS game, however, was actually Hand Given to me as a Gift from my ex-girlfriend, Catherine's Cousin, Al, after out bowling outing in Early December, 2014; Last Month.
I have registered the 3DS card through my Club Nintendo account, and explicitly told them in the survey that game Was Gifted to me; I Had Not Purchased it, period. And I Had shortly after received a copy of the Wii U Game In the Mail. I had disposed of the envelope, because there was no return address. I Would have registered that as well, but there as NO Club Nintendo code enclosed. I have Never booted or played either game, and I certainly never have inserted either card or disc into any of my handhelds or consoles at all ever. And to spare having it quoted in the comments below this point, or in any future comments and posts in this group or on my page: Being Gifted the thing you are protesting against against your initial will, regardless of acceptance out of being polite or whatever, it does NOT Change my position or aynthing integral of the Protest that I Have personally started and still am working towards the cause, period.

SEGA!!! CHANGE SONIC'S ARM COLOUR BACK IMMEDIATELY!!! YOUR BLUE ARMS HAVE HURT NOT ONLY ME IN A NUMBER OF GREAT WAYS, BUT COUNTLESS OTHER PEOPLE (GREATER THAN A THOUSAND INDIVIDUALS) AS WELL!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR LACK OF RECALL AND CORRECTIONS!!!}}

Here, Chris is referencing this[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-01-13-nintendo-employee-reveals-details-of-chriss-nintendo-transactions.7042/] Cwcki Forums article; apparently he lurks the forums frequently.

===Something Important===
{{quotebox|15 January 2015
I have something important to share of importance. After the incident on the 26th, on the court date on the 29th, the judge had documented that neither I, nor Any local GameStop stores or employees, come near or contact each other. I Have not contacted or visited any of them, but the day after on the 30th, One of them called My Cell Phone, TWICE, on the 30th, the day after that court date. I have Not listened to either of their messages; I had marked both of them "As Read". They both were just automatically removed from my voicemail list. But I screen capped the details from my phone a few days ago. I've had the numbers of the four GameStops, for any inquiries I had to make in the past.

Anyhow, They have violated the Court Rules there.

}}

===Kengle the Troll===
{{quotebox|19 January 2015
[http://cwckiforums.com/threads/2015-jan-19-kengle-trolls-chris-with-blue-arms-purchase.7218/]
}}

===You Dropped a Glitterbomb on Me, Baby===
[[File:GlitterbombNotice.jpg|thumb|right|Chris's hatred for something so minor becomes greatly unhealthy.]]
On 30 [[January 2015]], a document was leaked onto the [[CWCki Forums]], revealing that Chris has taken one step above macing employees and is ''threatening to glitterbomb'' Sega's American headquarters. Initially thought to be work done by weens, Marvin the Forum Member eventually stood up and confirmed this actually is Chris's doing.
{{quotebox|SEGA of America Inc. 350 Rhode Island St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94103
'''For Every Week Sonic the Hedgehog's arms remain blue in the "Sonic Boom" Video Games AND TV Cartoon Show, and that you all at SEGA continue to NOT Public Announce your apology for the change as well as RECALLING Everything of this Sonic Boom to change Sonic's Arm Colour Back Immediately on Television, Newsprint and Internet Posts and Videos, you all will receive a sparkling mess. And to stop this glittery combination from coming in, you WILL Change Sonic the Hedgehogs Arm Colour back immediately in EVERYTHING Sonic Boom, including PULLING the cartoon from Cartoon Network to change the arm colour back in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of the show.'''

'''Thank you.'''}}

The document reveals that Chris refuses to stop committing acts of battery unless a multimedia company gives in to a 30-year-old manchild's threats. Considering his other recent wrongdoings, this most likely won't end well for Chris in the [[February 2015]] trial. It also shows his complete lack of knowing what glitterbombing actually ''is''. To glitterbomb someone is to throw glitter on your opponent in public, ''not'' sending envelopes with glitter inside.

===Chris's 'Friend' weighs in on Chris' Sonic Boom Protests===
{{quotebox|2 Febuary 2015
Hey [REDACTED],
I saw that video and absolutely agree 100% that Chris was unjustified in his actions. I would have supported the employee whipping his ass to be honest. I think Chris needs to go to jail, he has never been held accountable for his actions. Destruction of property, assault, etc are serious stuff. He needs counseling and professional services that I think without incarceration he will never receive.

I'm glad that the Cwiki is no longer what it was in its incarnation, he was using it as an excuse for his behavior, and now can't use it as a fallback on to his issues.

I really have little defense for Christian for what hes been doing, but I hope he can come out a better person.
}}

===Chris's EGO butts in!===
After hearing about Sega downsizing to focus on PC and Mobile games, Chris thought that he had a hand in it through his boycott:
{{quotebox|2 February 2015
Regardless of SEGA downsizing, Which I feel our boycotting has brought into play, we Have made SEGA take notice of their Mistake in changing Sonic's Arm Color among this term of events. And THEY still CAN create and distribute Downloadable Update Data for BOTH Sonic Boom Games to change his Arm Color Back at the very least.}}

===References===
<references/>

[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]
[[Category:Television shows]]

Sonic Boom Protests

2015-02-08T03:03:22Z

Muster128:

Saga

2015-02-08T02:52:18Z

Muster128: Updated page to reflect changes from February 2015

[[Image:Timeline.png|thumb|right]]
{{Quote|I've had online relationships in my past; most of which were good, but all of them ended not so good for me.|Chris makes the understatement of the century<ref>[[Sydney Kirsch]]</ref>}}
A '''saga''' (from the Old Norse ''sögur'') is an overall story arc of events.

In the world of [[Christian Weston Chandler]], the term is used to describe an on-going trolling effort or other similar series of events that produces considerable drama over a period of time. Sometimes taking place over the course of months, other times taking place over the course of a few weeks. Since he was discovered online and found to have many hot buttons that made him susceptible to entrapment, Chris has been perpetually embroiled in some saga or other. More often than not, he is trapped in more than one saga at a time or found to be quickly jumping from the end of one to the beginning of the next. The term first came into widespread use with the [[Miyamoto Saga]] and has since been used to describe the overall events in a time period (similar to the term "dynasty").

The exact origin of the term "saga" being used to refer to these events in Chris's life is, as of yet, unknown. However, some argue that the usage may have originated with [[Vivian Gee]]'s [[Audiobook|audiobook]] project.

==List of Sagas : Pre 1st Exile==

===Megan Saga (''Summer 2005 - 18 March 2008'')===
[[Image:Megansagaheader.jpg]]

{{main|Megan Schroeder}}

The first and longest saga in the story of Christian Weston Chandler. From 2005 to 18 March 2008, this told the story of Chris and his longest and closest relationship with a girl, Megan Schroeder, leading into Chris's first encounter with [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] and Megan discovering the depths of Chris's madness. It began with a chance meeting at a ''[[Pokémon]] TCG'' League meeting at [[The GAMe PLACe]], which progressed into inappropriate touching and ended with shocking [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|hand-drawn pornography]] that was an embarrassment for all parties involved...excluding Chris.

===Adam Stackhouse Saga (''June 2007 - 4 August 2007'')===
[[Image:Adamsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Adam Stackhouse]], [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]''

In June 2007, Chris entered and attempted to win a contest in order to win Megan's heart, only to be <s>cockblocked</s> beaten by a much superior entry made by Adam Stackhouse. The saga resulted in [[CWC is Angry|madman]]-style threats and [[PaRappa_contest#Aftermath|several angry e-mails and posts to contest organizers]]. Chris would rage for quite some time before deciding enough was enough. This was also the last time a saga was inadvertently caused by an unsuspecting member of the public. From this time on, [[trolls]] would control the content.

===ED Saga (''November 2007 - 14 April 2011'')===
[[Image:Edsaga.jpg]]

: ''See also: [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]''

In November 2007, [[trolls]] would discover Chris and put up the "Chris-chan" page on [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Chris would initially think that they just got information wrong, but as time would go on, Chris would reveal the true depths of his insanity, destroying his friendship with Megan Schroeder and becoming the epic lolcow we know him to be. Were it not for this article showing how susceptible he was to trolling and how [[Autism|divinely retarded]] he could be, Chris may have just been another dumbass with no life, and probably would have been more or less forgotten by now. To this day, ED remains a thorn in his side which he must constantly address to those new to his life. Further to this, he still maintains they are out to do him harm.

===Blanca Saga (''August 2008 - 21 October 2008'')===
[[Image:Blancasaga.jpg]]

{{main|Blanca Weiss}}

Around August 2008, Chris would meet Blanca Weiss, making her his first Internet sweetheart. Aside from being the first sweetheart, she also proved how [[Captain's Log, Stardate September 13th, 2008|tenacious and strange]] Chris could be about relationships, revealing several [[Captain's Log, Stardate October 9th, 2008|quirks and oddities that he felt were somehow appropriate to mention]] to someone he believed loved him. It also showed how useless any [[White knight|white knighting]] efforts could be. In the span of two months, Blanca (actually three trolls working in tandem) would release the infamous pictures of Chris naked, then obtain and destroy Chris's [[Medallion of Fail|medallions]].

===Jimmy Hill Saga (''mid/late 2008'')===
[[Image:Jimmyhillsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jimmy Hill}}

At the same time Chris was dealing with Blanca, he was hit with another troll attack as he believed that a man known as Jimmy Hill was using the Sonichu name and character to make money off of him in Europe. The thought of someone making money from his true and original creation led him to [[Captain's Log, Stardate Columbus Day, 2008|stress out and provide proof]] of the [[Copyright|infringement]]. Those attacks would end around the same time the Blanca Saga ended.

===Clyde Cash Saga ''(December 2008 - ???)''===
[[Image:Clydesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Clyde Cash}}

In an attempt to get back at Chris for his [[Ryan Cash|brother's suicide]], Clyde Cash would go on a months-long trolling spree, going to great lengths to get back at the autistic wonder. The saga would result in the revelation of a [[The Miscreants|top secret organization]] hellbent on preventing the manchild from losing his virginity. It only ended with the apparent death of its creator.

However, in [[September 2009]] Chris resumed his war against Clyde Cash after discovering that he and another supposed troll, [[Gregg Mays]], were one and the same person. In the process, he's made numerous videos attempting to blackmail the man, going so far as to mock a [[Twin Falling Towers|national tragedy]].

===PandaHalo Saga (''mid/late 2008 - February 2009'')===
[[Image:Pandasaga.jpg]]

{{main|PandaHalo}}

When Chris realized Blanca was a troll, he would move on to PandaHalo as his new sweetheart. The saga came to a quick and abrupt end when she was found to be bearing the child of Clyde Cash, conceived through rape. Unsurprisingly, Chris would quickly abandon Panda and she would (presumably) die in the Australian brushfires, despite living miles away from the incident. She would end up giving trolls the [[Scrapbook of Fail]] and [[Slideshow]].

===Miyamoto Saga (''January 2009 - 10 February 2009'')===
[[Image:Miyamotosaga.jpg]]

{{main|Miyamoto Saga}}

In the beginning of January 2009, Chris would be confronted by <s>[[Clyde Cash|a troll]]</s> [[Shigeru Miyamoto]], who would attempt to try to make his ''Sonichu'' game fantasy a reality. Chris's ineptitude and inability to do...well...anything other than be a lazy fuck resulted in horrible delays and stalls to the project's advancement. In the end, [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] shut down the entire project with a scathing letter. This trolling encounter would have Chris give trolls a PowerPoint project that talked in great length about [[Chris and his ego|himself]]...and very little about his game.

===Julie Saga (''February 2009 - March 2009'')===
[[Image:Juliesaga.jpg]]

{{main|Julie}}

In February 2009 to early March 2009, Chris's latest sweetheart would be Julie, who was in actuality a young troll named [[BlueSpike]]. In this brief timeframe, BlueSpike would release the infamous [[sex tape]], force Chris to declare [[BILLY MAYS]] mayor of [[CWCville]] and destroy his second medallion by forcing him to stick it up his ass. However, BlueSpike's total and utter control over Chris would lead to a schism between trolls, leading to the creation of the [[PVCC (message board)|PVCC]] and this very wiki.

===Ivy Saga (''March 2009 - July 2009'')===
[[Image:Ivysaga.jpg]]

{{main|Ivy}}

In March 2009, Chris would meet and fall in love with Ivy, his then-latest sweetheart. His crush towards Ivy would lead Chris to create three special comics and two music videos, a practical spurt of work that wouldn't be surpassed for awhile. The saga also revealed Chris at his [[I am devoted to My Sweetest Ivy|creepiest]] [[CWC's Message for Ivy|yet]], scarring many trolls and CWC-watchers. The saga also resulted in a [[CWC's ¨It's All Coming Back To Me¨|proposal of marriage]]. Despite the work spurt, the saga would come to an abrupt end thanks to a combination of troll interference from [[Joshua Martinez]] and interference from [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Rocky Shoemaker]], leading to Ivy's suicide.

===Liquid Chris Saga (''June 21, 2009 - 10 November 2009'')===
[[Image:Liquidsaga.jpg]]

{{main|Liquid Chris}}

In July 2009, the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler would come forth after the other Chris would reveal himself as a troll in one video. The other Chris, [[Ian Brandon Anderson]], would challenge Chris to a sing-off, with the TRUE and HONEST CWC proving himself the victor in the end. The appearance of this other Chris would pressure the other into churning out more comics than he had before, currently heading for the completion of [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu'' #9]], something that many believed would never happen due to the interference of many trolls.

Later, Liquid would return to continue on his quest to get rid of this faker. In the process of this new entry to the saga, Ian and Chris would battle over the heart of Chris's true love, [[Kacey]]. In the end, the real Chris would win out and marry Kacey, leaving Ian to be butthurt. Liquid's YouTube account would eventually close on 27 July, 2011.

===CWCipedia Saga (''4 May 2009 – 26 June 2010'')===
[[Image:The CWCipedia Saga.jpg]]

{{main|CWCipedia}}

In early June 2009, Chris was given the CWCipedia, a wiki-styled web page, so that Chris can use it to upload his ''Sonichu'' comics, blog, and personal life safe from the trolls who instantly dive at his other web pages and hack them. It doubled as a source for the [[CWCki]] to draw many of Chris's latest failures from, making it his best friend and his worst enemy.

On 19 [[November 2009]], perhaps one of the greatest features the wiki introduced was the [[Mailbag]], in which a dump of all [[Fans|fan]] e-mails sent to the admin's address could be answered by Chris, for all to see. This feature provided insight into how Chris responds to trolls through e-mail about his views on, for example, homosexuality, GodJesus, autism, etc.

Since 23 November 2009, advertisements linking to porn sites, gay rights organizations, information on Asperger's syndrome, and the [[Asperchu|Asperpedia]] took residence on the CWCipedia, paid for by trolls. Eventually, Alec, the creator of Asperchu, paid Jack Thaddeus to replace most, if not all, of the ads with ads for Asperpedia. Chris had [[Address to my Cwcipedia SysOp|complained]] [[ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence|repeatedly]] to the SysOp of the Wiki about these ads, which would have paid for the site until the end of 2010, pending negotiations.<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:ChrisChanSonichu</ref> All of this had "stressed" Chris out to the point of uploading videos of himself screaming [[death threats]] upon the advertisers' heads, and creating a separate, stress-free, ad-free front page.

This saga would lead to the site being shut down twice in a row, both due to copyright infringement, and would lead to the death of [[Simonla Rosechu]] in the most humiliating way - death by exploding toilet.

The Asperpedia team would continue to vandalize and hijack CWCipedia in a variety of ways until it finally collapsed in May, and Chris finally abandoned the site after already making numerous claims that he'd quit the Internet forever. After Mao moved in to fill the void, he passed ownership to [[Alec]] and [[Vivian Gee]], wherein they took over the site and the rights to Sonichu to begin ''Sonichu'' Season 2, where ultimately, on 26 [[June 2010]], the entire site would be terminated along with the entirety of the original 110mb server.

===Asperchu Saga (''November 2009 - 30 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Asperchu Saga.jpg]]

{{main|Asperchu}}

In late November 2009, an artist named Alec Benson Leary started a new series called ''Asperchu'', starring the titular Electric Asperger's Hedgehog Pokemon. Chris had spent most of December ignoring ''Asperchu'' and its popularity before finally exploding with rage, claiming the series as nothing more than fan fiction and a parody. The popularity of ''Asperchu'', combined with Chris's continuing downward spiral that is [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]], has led many of Chris's fans to abandon ''Sonichu'' and go to ''Asperchu''.

Most of the saga has been spent with Chris raging at not just Alec, but also [[Evan]], Sean, and Asperpedia admin Mao over their usage of their characters and how they mock him. As well, Chris has been dealing with Evan over the usage of Simonla Rosechu, with Chris going so far as to deny reality and substitute it with his own.

In terms of productivity, it has given us ''Sonichu'' #10, which showcases Chris going all out in trying to get rid of everything he hates, including homosexuality and trolls. In that same book, Chris kills all four trolls involved in this saga as retaliation for making him kill Simonla Rosechu. Also, [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Calls|nine phone calls]] have been leaked. These phone calls show Alec attempting to get through to Chris and his way of thinking and Chris fighting tooth and nail not to change at all.

In the aftermath of the saga, Evan ceased his ''Simonchu'' comic, proud to have Simonla removed, Alec and Sean continued their respective comics, and Mao continues to poke and jab at Chris. And while the saga had for the most part died down, Asperpedia continued to harass its rival CWCipedia, either by placing new ads, vandalizing it, or shutting it down altogether. One of the post-trial ads even precipitated Chris's falling out with [[Jackie e-mails|Jackie]].

Alec Benson Leary would later be [[Calling Out "Alec Benson Leary" - Christopher|called out]] by Chris in 2011, and is identity was "revealed" as Christopher Paul Whitney, followed by Chris [[Chris and Health|sloppily devouring a cheap microwavable pizza]].

===Surfshack Tito Saga (''2 March 2010 - 10 August 2011'')===
[[Image:The Surfshack Tito Saga.jpg]]

{{Main|Surfshack Tito}}

Sometime in January 2010, Chris met and fell in love with a certain girl in real life, hoping she would be the one who'd end his streak of being a [[virgin with rage]]. On 9 March 2010, Chris would release a ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' video of a stage based off a book he was helping write with his gal-pal...and release a name in the process. Dedicated trolls used the information to discover the gal-pal's identity, but decided to let the [[lulz]] spread naturally. The next day, however, a troll revealed the information to the gal-pal, codenamed [[The Wallflower]], and while one set of lulz was stopped, another one was set into motion.

The troll, calling himself Surfshack Tito, claimed responsibility for not only hacking his PSN accounts for the umpteenth time, but also stealing The Wallflower from Chris. Chris, in response, has threatened to go all out and seemingly try to murder Tito, threatening him with a [[pocket knife]], attacking him with [[Chris Drops the N-Bomb|racial slurs]], and flashing his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear]] in the process. At the same time, Chris has discovered and declared war on the CWCki, demanding that all pages involving himself, his friends and family be altered to suit his needs. In short order, Chris's attack on the CWCki fell utterly short.

The creativity here has been utterly stunted, especially after The Wallflower left him. He has gone on to blame his fans for wanting him to make more comics and compared them to the trolls that have tormented him. He has also vowed to leave the Internet forever, though he ended up reshowing his face 36 hours after his vow...

Echoes of this saga would be eventually heard in [[August 2011]] when, after announcing his glorious comeback to the Internet, Chris claimed to have discovered the true identity of Tito and tried to blackmail him using this information. Tito eventually [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don#Tito's official response|gave in]] to his demands on 9 August, which Chris [[Re: Don, and ReCalling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy|later acknowledged and accepted]].

=== The GAMe PLACe Saga (''pre-2005 - April 2013'')===

[[File:Game Place.jpg]]

{{main|The GAMe PLACe|Michael Snyder}}

For a long time, Chris had been visiting The GAMe PLACe on a regular basis. It was here that Chris would meet Megan herself, as well as [[Lucas]] and [[Mimms]], two people who would deliver a number of intel over Chris during his time there. He also participated in the ''[[Pokemon TCG]]'' League, using his own poorly made decks. However, Chris was a pain to the store's manager, [[Michael Snyder]] and by August 2008, tired of Chris terrorizing various [[niggos|patrons]], yelling at children, bogarting the TV and being an all-round pain. Michael would finally ban Chris from the store, embarrassing him and his mother in the process. It wouldn't be the end, however.

On multiple occasions, Chris returned to the store despite Michael's insistence that he never come back. He tried emails, sneaking in, [[Apology to Game & Hobby Place|pleading]] on [[YouTube]], but nothing worked. The first time he attempted (unsuccessfully, of course) to lift his ban in person was with a prepared, [[Chris and remorse|faux-apologetic speech]]. When that failed, he stormed out angrily and called Michael a [[Chris and race|JEW]], then attempted to rally his "fanbase" and get them [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean|to troll him]]. [[6 June 2010|The next occasion]] was much more disturbing. He claimed he was trying to take a picture of Michael for a dartboard, but was caught in the act and was chased in the parking lot. Nearly running over Michael and his daughter, eventually the [[Jerkops]] got involved, but they did not arrest him. Michael accused him of trying to take [[pedofork|pictures of his daughter]]. Whether it's true or not, it's [[Kacey|confirmed]] that Chris has stalker tendencies.

The saga was revived in October 2011, when Chris and [[Barb|his mother]] visited the GAMe PLACe, and [[28 October 2011|an incident occurred]]. Exact details of events remain unknown, but charges such as assaulting a law enforcement official and property damage of more than $1000 were brought. Barbara was sentenced to community service and two years of probation. Chris was sentenced to community service, one year of probation, and mandatory [[Chris and Reality|psychiatric]] treatment and evaluation. They must also pay Michael Snyder's medical expenses.

Being the longest saga to date, it's little wonder why [[Barb]] believes it's at the center of all the trolling.

Finally, On 4 [[April 2013]], Chris posted on [[Facebook]], ''"I, Christian Weston Chandler, fully never ever, forever, want to have anything to do with the Game and Hobby PLace."'' It remains to be seen whether he will follow through. However, it could be a ''geinus'' plan to lull [[Michael Snyder]] into a false sense of security. It appears, however the saga may be over for good. At least for now.

==1st Exile Sagas==

===The CWC Exile Saga (''20 March 2010 - 29 August 2010'')===

[[File:Exile.jpg]]

{{main|Rocky Shoemaker|Fridays After Five|Flipnote Hatena}}

After Chris lost The Wallflower and fought with Surfshack Tito, an outside force attempted to push Chris away from the Internet. No less than five times, Chris has boldly claimed that he has abandoned the Internet and smugly told his detractors that they should go outside and live their lives, advice Chris should have followed ''years'' ago. However, Chris still latched onto the Internet as much as he could, trying to find ways to sneak in without the force discovering him.

Trolls would end up discovering Chris dancing like a dying turkey at [[Fridays After Five]], then discover that he had set up shop at the [[Flipnote Hatena]], where he tried to spread his sick and twisted thoughts to younger, innocent people before being shut down. However, the thing that would finally bring Chris back to the Internet and end his exile would be [[The MovingForward videos|the destruction of his beloved Life Upgrade]]. At his own hands, no less!

==Post 1st Exile/Pre 2nd Exile==

===Jackie Saga (''April 5, 2010 - November 26, 2010'')===
[[Image:JackieSaga.jpg]]

{{main|Jackie}}

Following the fallout of The Wallflower incident, Chris pulled himself away from the Internet, only for him to meet and begin conversing to a woman named Jackie. Meeting her at [[The Hook Cafe|''The HooK'' Café]], the two began conversing through [[Jackie Emails|e-mails]], revealing the rationale in Chris's attempts to get back into The GAMe PLACe and showing [[For J-R's Eyes Only.MOV|he's still incredibly disturbing]]. However, Chris broke off his relationship with her after she attempted to get him to change his life for the better.

Around [[September 2010]], Jackie and Chris were confirmed to have attempted to try again with a relationship, with Chris creating [[100_2265|even]] [[ECV 00002|more]] [[Pregnant Act|disturbing]] [[Don'tPintheOop|videos]] in the process. A third party - [[Lars]] McNulty, Jackie's ex-boyfriend - stepped in by the end of September, prompting Chris to release several videos attacking his newfound enemy. Video updates became increasingly bizarre, but still occurred regularly until the end of [[October 2010|October]].

By [[November 2010|November]], the leaked correspondence showed that Jackie was getting increasing impatient as Chris kept failing to fulfill her requests, while Chris made up a lot of lame excuses for why he could not deliver on them, all while continuously begging Jackie to have sex with him. On November 26, Jackie would send Chris the latest in a string of e-mails in which she criticized him for his laziness and unwillingness when it came to pay a more active part in relationships, and how he, despite of this, kept begging her for sex. Chris stopped responding at this point, putting an end to the saga.

===[[Tomgirl Saga]] (''28 April 2011 - present'')===
[[Image:Cwctl.jpg]]

{{main|Tomgirl Saga|Tomgirl Pictures| Calling Out}}

In mid-2011, Chris's exile from the Internet continued, and his mental state deteriorated. Some leaked evidence of [[Wikipedia:Transvestitism|transvestitism]] surfaced in [[April 2011|April]], and later joined the [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia]] forum, where his posts showed that Chris and sanity were only vague acquaintances. However, when Chris found out he was discovered on the forums, he decided to fight back by [[Calling Out]] various [[trolls]], demanding that they apologize and leave the Internet or they would have their information revealed and be trolled in return. He managed to drive away Surfshack Tito, before the saga was seemingly derailed by the death of his father, [[Bob]]. However, as of 2014, Chris is once again openly cross-dressing, against Barb's wishes.

===Catherine and Ebay Sagas/Facebook Saga (''9 July 2014 - 14 December 2014'')===
{{main|2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|Catherine E-mails|Catherine}}

With his newly acquired feminine wiles from his transition to Tomgirl, Chris managed to attract a Sweetheart who would be his first lesbian romance. In the summer of 2014, Chris would reveal he had found a new Sweetheart, whose identity he managed, surprisingly, to conceal for period of time. Later, he would [[I Love You, Catherine|reveal]] that her name was Catherine, which would suggest, due to the proximity between revelations, that the Anonymous Sweetheart had been Catherine all along. Predictably, Catherine turned out to be troll, who revealed much about Chris having met with him twice. According to Catherine, his [[Catherine#The Date|behavior had not improved]] since the sexual harassment in the early days of the Megan Saga, and neither had the Chandlers's [[Rental House|comprehension of basic sanitation]]. In addition to Catherine's observation on her personal encounters, Chris also announced he had got a piercing on his [[Un-clit|perineum]], meaning this Saga provides some more detail on Chris's disturbing new features as a Tomgirl.

===Sonic Boom Saga (''3 September 2014 - present'')===
[[Image:SonicBoomSagaBanner.png]]

{{main|Sonic Boom Protests}}
This Saga began with Chris grumbling on [[Facebook]] about the announcement of the latest [[Sonic]] game, [[Wikipedia: Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric|Sonic Boom]]. Chris wasn't alone in his discontent; many of his Facebook friends expressed disapproval about the deteriorating quality of the Sonic games. What made Chris [[autism|unique]] in his irritation, is that the fact that Chris took umbrage at the fact Sonic's arms had been changed from flesh-colored to blue.

This baffled most of his [[White Knights]], with [[William Elliott Waterman]] trying to explain just how ludicrous Chris's demands to Sega to revert back to blue were, especially considering Sonic Boom was not part of the Sonic canon. The fact that Sega had no control in the design of Sonic's arms did not deter him and, thanks to his White Knights who unwaveringly encouraged him, he began to protest. Initially, his protest against the "Blue-Armed Bandit", took the form of Facebook boycott groups, petitions, and [[Death Threats|angry messages]] on Sega facebook pages.

On [[26 December 2014|Boxing day]], however, this Saga came into bloom, culminating in Chris's [[28 October 2011| second pending court case]]. Despite warnings from even his most loyal [[White Knights]], Chris had decided to take it upon himself to bring the protest into the real world. He went into his local GameStops and vandalized the display cases, including stores he had [[List of places that have banned Chris|previously been banned from]]. It was during his visit to one of these stores that had banned Chris that resulted in his arrest on boxing day. Chris had been seen and asked to leave by the [[manajerks|managment]]. After initially ignoring their requests he made his way towards the exist and, whilst on the way out, he maced an employee, who had not been involved in his removal. As a result, Chris spent the weekend in jail, only to have [[Barb]] bail him out afterwards. After a hearing on the 5th of [[February 2015]], Chris is currently awaiting another hearing on the 2nd of [[April 2015]].

Despite this, he continues to go on a tard rage over Sonic's blue arms, calling out [[White Knight|Kengle]] because he owns a ''comic'' with blue-armed Sonic, and sending glitter bombs to SEGA.

==The Future==
If anything remains clear, it is that Chris is incapable of applying past events to current ones. Given this, it is likely that Chris will be enduring one saga or another until the day he dies.

==See also==
*''[[Excel Saga]]''

==References==
<references/>

[[Category:Trolling]]
[[Category: Sagas]]

Monthly tugboat

2015-02-08T02:39:56Z

Muster128: Updated to reflect changes after February 5, 2015

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{quote|Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as much as possible, the need for its own existence.|[[Wikipedia:Ronald Reagan|Ronald Reagan]], who is likely turning in his grave right now.}}
{{quote|it's a [[Random-access humor|fun story]]. anyway, you know the expression, "Our ship has come in," well that refers to a HUGE one-time amout of money, which can compare to a [[Lars' Ship has Sunk.MOV|Luxury Ship that can easily sink]]. and a Tugboat is more reliable, because even though it's smaller, it's built tougher, and it's usually better on time in that sense. so, I refer to my monthly income as a Tugboat, whereas I would refer to say winning the Lottery as a Luxary Ship. Chalk that idea up to a spot of [[Autism|creative thinking]]. :)|Chris's autistic explanation for his Tugboat}}
[[Image:CWC eugenics.png|thumb|300px|$2000+ a day is what [[Christian Weston Chandler|this person]] suffering from [[autism|hereditary defects]] costs the [[United States of America|People's Community]] during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too.]]
[[Image:Monthly Tugboat.jpg|thumb|What Chris believes a monthly tugboat is. Your tax dollars at work, gentlemen.]]

The '''monthly tugboat''' is [[Chris]]'s [[CWC-isms|euphemism]] for his [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|Social Security Disability Insurance]] payment, which is deposited into his bank account via direct deposit on or about the 3rd of each month.<ref>[http://ssa.gov/pubs/calendar.htm]</ref> Essentially, the U.S. government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support [[Slow-in-the-minds|disabled individuals]] whose [[Autism|injuries or ailments]] affect their ability to earn a living wage. Contrary to popular belief, Chris's check isn't a need-based welfare check, nor is it meant to replace a paycheck for someone who is unable to work. Chris's disability check is meant to supplement the money he would receive at a low-paying job (the best he could hold down) and provide him enough money to live on his own. Chris, with [[Chris and his Ego|his massive sense of entitlement]], chooses not to work and mooches off his mother instead, blowing his tugboat on [[video games]]. Unfortunately, this doesn't disqualify him from receiving disability.

In 2010, Chris received $809 each month, with $580 going to his parents for room, board, and to pay toward his credit card debt.<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie Chat #7]]</ref> The rest of it generally goes towards [[List of Chris's games|video games]], [[McDonald's|junk food]], or [[sex toys|other frivolous purchases]]. However, $229 per month (about $7.50 per day) was (and is) nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, [[PlayStation Network]] downloads, a constant supply of [[McDonald's|Chicken McNuggets]], gallons of [[Coke]], and, since the summer of [[2009]], [[alcohol]]. As of [[January 2010]], he owed roughly $3,500 in credit card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents. Indeed, according to one of his bank statements,<ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010.jpg]]</ref><ref>[[:File:StatementforViv01,2010-2.jpg]]</ref> at the end of one month he had fewer than three dollars left in his account. Even more, just by straight spending and no other extra income, he put himself $452.57 in the red.

After [[Bob|his father]]'s death in September 2011, Chris's tugboat increased, and as of 2014, Chris was receiving approximately $1300 a month in welfare money.

As a result of [[26 December 2014]], it is very possible that if Chris is ruled guilty during the third trial in [[April 2015]], he will lose his tugboat privileges.

===Chris's Economic Logic===

Challenged by a correspondent in the [[Mailbag]], Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded "tugboat", because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's [[Chris and reality|logic]], by purchasing useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy.<ref>[[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]]</ref> This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, [[Chris and Money|you ain't seen nothing yet]].

Another thing to take into consideration is that while Chris spends a chunk of his social security on American products like McDonald's, Chris spends most of it on video games. The problem is his game systems ([[PSP of Fail|Sony PSP]], [[Wii|Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii]], and [[PS3|Sony PS3]]), come from Japanese companies. Yes, these companies have American bases and a very small amount is produced in the U.S., but the majority is produced, developed and imported from Japan. So the money he spends goes to the retailer, which goes to the employees wages and fixed costs of the retailer's expenses that keep it functioning, which will be possibly be spent in America thus be put into the U.S. economy, the rest will given to the foreign company's employees and fixed costs that keep ''them'' functioning, which will be spent in Japan, thus being put back into Japan's economy. However, if Chris was an [[HEXBox|Xbox]] consumer, the majority of it would be put back into the U.S. economy, as Microsoft's Xbox is a U.S. based company, with a majority of its products being developed and manufactured in the U.S. and a large majority of it employees being Americans. In the same way buying a car from American brands like GM, Ford, and Chrysler, stimulates the U.S. economy, and buying a foreign car like Honda, BMW, and Kia, doesn't and stimulates ''their'' foreign economies, Chris could help the economy by getting over his irrational hatred of Xbox.

===Earning Potential===

On the advice of [[Bob Chandler|his dead father]], Chris doesn't get a job, supposedly because the tugboat gives him more money overall. However, Bob was totally wrong. At the time of this writing, minimum wage in the state of [[Virginia]] is $7.25, pursuant to federal minimum wage. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life, get off disability, and begin working a full forty-hour week, his monthly income before taxes and rent payment would be approximately $1,260 USD. This would put Chris's annual income range, before tax, at roughly $15,100. Subtracting what he pays his parents to live in filth, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $9,000 in ''spending'' money, enough for many more sex toys and video games. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulls in annually from the government after paying off his parents.

Even if this weren't enough, the most cursory research reveals that an [[Wikipedia:Social Security Disability Insurance|SSDI]] beneficiary could have earned from $700 a month in the year [[2000]], when Chris was eighteen, to $1,000 a month in [[2010]] without losing a cent of their SSDI payments.<ref>http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/COLA/sga.html</ref> It's clear that Bob's decision to encourage Chris's unemployment comes from negligence, ignorance, blind delusion, or the knowledge that his son is a total failure who can bring nothing but shame on himself and his family. His enabling has caused Chris to miss out on over $100,000 in potential earnings through the end of 2010, which could buy a lot of [[Muscle bra|bras]], [[Sex toys|fake china]], [[My Little Pony|children's]] [[Transformers|toys]], and [[I Pimp My Ride.MOV|Lego-covered PS3 accessories]].

If Bob's motivation came from the reasonable assumption that Chris could never survive in an real-world workplace environment, of course, one wonders why [[Fridays After Five|he kept unleashing Chris to run amok on an unsuspecting public]].

In the [[Father Call]], Chris claims that his disability check is "a stepping-stone in the right direction of [him] moving out." Given Chris's tendency to waste his free money on frivolous shit rather than put it towards anything that might improve his life, he was probably just telling Kacey's father what he thought he wanted to hear.

===Total Cost to Taxpayers===

Rough calculations and estimations say that if Chris lives into his eighties, given reasonable "cost of living" increases to his tugboat annually, he will receive roughly $1,000,000 over his lifetime from the American taxpayer. In this day and age, that's chump change and he'd amass a larger fortune if he simply got off his ass and got a career; of course, it's [[Chris and health|extremely unlikely]] that he will live anywhere near that long.

Since Bob's death, it's not known how much of Chris's tugboat goes to his mother to spend on <s>boxes of useless clutter</s> necessary items, but given that they asked for cash donations in Bob's obituary, she probably has to take most of it.

==References by Chris==
* The earliest known use of the term "monthly tugboat" was in March [[2007]] in Chris's first e-mail to his half-brother [[Cole Smithey]]. When introducing himself, Chris says, "I'm getting by livin' with my folks and a monthly tugboat." He does not actually explain what a "monthly tugboat" is supposed to be.
* An [[Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Adam Stackhouse wins, Chris is a horrible cheater and likes Megan "so much"|e-mail to Megan]] from August 2007 recounts Chris's purchase of ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' with his latest tugboat check.
* During the [[Miyamoto Saga]], Chris claimed he was waiting for his tugboat (in an e-mail to "Miyamoto" himself, no less) to fix technical problems with his website.
* In [[Mumble 1|Mumble #1]], Chris mentions that he'll have to wait for his next tugboat to buy some new content for ''Ape Escape'' on the PSP.
* In [[BlueSpike PSN Chat 4|BlueSpike PSN Chat #4]], Chris tells [[Julie]] that he can't make it to Ohio until his next tugboat comes in.
* Since late 2009, [[Chris]] seemed to have mostly given up the term "tugboat", possibly because of its extensive adoption by trolls in the [[Mumble]] chats, the [[Mailbag]], and elsewhere. In the [[Father Call]], he refers to it as his "monthly income", while in the [[Jackie e-mails]] he simply says he's on Social Security, although he did refer to it once as a "tugboat" in [[Mailbag 34|Mailbag #34]].
* The [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 12|BlueSpike Skype logs]], quoted at the top of the page shine a light on the origin of the term.
*In one of the [[Jackie Chat 7|Jackie chat logs]], he wrote about the reason he deserves the welfare:

{{quotebox|
[7:47 pm] CWC: Originally, I was given that blessing through [[Bob|my father]], on one theory of me NOT being able to do the basics of a job, which I have told you I disagree with fully. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: Yesterday, I have actually asked [[God]] the question, because all I was coming up with was having deserved it from my [[Stress|trials and tribulations]] in my life. 
[7:48 pm] CWC: God responded... 
[7:48 pm] CWC: He told me that he blessed me because he saw me as one of the appreciative and [[Chris and English|less richer]] people, so he gave me that blessing through the approval. 
[7:49 pm] [[Jackie|Jacklyn Romy]]: ??? 
[7:49 pm] CWC: And I also asked him about the Job situation; why have I not been able to get a job then? 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: that doesnt make sense 
[7:49 pm] Jacklyn Romy: why would God approve you to rip off the government when there are people starving and dying on the streets who genuinely need help 
[7:50 pm] CWC: he told me that he felt I was not ready to tackle a job yet, but he will bless me with a job when he sees fit. 
[7:50 pm] CWC: I don't know. 
[7:50 pm] Jacklyn Romy: thats not my understanding of how God works
}}

{{quote|i mean, are you sure you heard him correctly? no one I know has EVER heard God tell them "hey, just sit back and do nothing, i'll hand you a job and money so you can just play games all day"|Jackie, destroying Chris with sound logic.}}

==References==
<references/>

==See also==
* [[Autism]]
* [[Chris and money]]

{{CWC-isms}}

[[Category:CWC-isms]]

List of toys

2015-02-05T06:56:09Z

Muster128: Fixed minor math mistake

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Quality}}
[[Image:0822-EP12-5P6-4.jpg|thumb|400px|CWC's main use of plastic crap is either decorating his [[room]] with it [[sex toys|or shoving it up his ass]].]]

[[Image:Plastic_Reef.jpeg|thumb|400px|[[Destruction_Of_Chris%27s_House|This]] is probably what Chris' toy collection looks like today.]]

Chris has accumulated a grand number of '''toys''' over the course of his life, most of which are displayed in [[Chris's room|his room]]; this page lists them. Chris has claimed that he is holding on to them for his [[Reginald Chandler|future]] [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|children]].<ref>[[BlueSpike Skype Logs 4]]</ref> However, he has also admitted to be still purchasing and playing with toys as an adult.<ref>[[Mumble 8#Comics and Toys (1:09:27 - 1:17:43)]]</ref> At one point he revealed that he plays with his toys around 2-3 hours a day.<ref>[[Mailbag 25#In which Chris tells us how many hours he plays with toys a day]]</ref>

For those ''[[Hanky-panky|other]]'' kinds of toys, see [[Sex toys|here]].

==[[Lego]]==

===Alpha Team===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6776-1'' Ogel Control Center
|$50
|}

===City/Town===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7892'' [[Chris and health|Hospital]]
|$50
|-
|''6337-1'' Fast Track Finish
|$40
|-
|''6517'' Water Jet
|$3
|-
|''7240-1'' Fire Station
|$30
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$123'''
|}

===Exo-Force===
[[Image:Exo-wallpaper-Humans.jpg|thumb|Exo-Force was created to attract basement dwelling [[anime]] freaks to Lego. which made it the perfect theme for Chris.]]
{| class="wikitable"
|''7700'' Stealth Hunter
|$15
|-
|''7701'' Grand Titan
|$15
|-
|''7712-1'' Supernova
|$20
|-
|''7703'' Fire Vulture
|$15
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$65'''
|}

===Make and Create===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4881-1'' Robo Platoon
|$10
|-
|''4097-1'' Mini Robots
|$10
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$20'''
|}

===Ninja===
The Flying Ninja Fortress was a fortress for flying ninjas, not a fortress that flew.
{| class="wikitable"
|''6093'' Flying Ninja Fortress
|$90
|}

===Space===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6949'' Robo-Guardian
|$36
|-
|''6975-1'' Alien Avenger
|$60
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|$96
|}

===[[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!|Spider-Man]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''4856-1''[[Merried Seinor Comic|Doc Ock's]] [[Chris's room|Hideout]]
|$50
|}

===[[Star Wars]]===
{| class="wikitable"
|''7146'' TIE Fighters (two purchased)
|$40 ''($20 each)''
|-
|''7106-1'' Droid Escape
|$6
|-
|'''Possible total'''
|'''$46'''
|}

===Western===
{| class="wikitable"
|''6755'' [[jerkop|Sheriff's]] Lock-Up
|$25
|}

===Total===
Assuming recommended retail prices (RRP) the total comes to at least:
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Total'''
|$565
|}

==[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]==

===Plush===

Great Eastern Sonic plush

Great Eastern [[Knuckles]] plush

===Figures===

Jazwares [[Tails]]

ReSaurus Sonic

ReSaurus Knuckles

ReSaurus Tails

ReSaurus Big the [[Cat]]

ReSaurus [[Rose]]

ReSaurus E102 Gamma

Toy Island Sonic Space Fighter

Toy Island [[Dr Eggman]]

Toy Island Sonic

Toy Island [[Shadow]]

==[[Transformers]]==
'''Assuming highest prices.'''

===Transformers: Generation One===
[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] (seen in "CWC is Angry"). Note: this is the Japanese reissue edition. Probably $75–$125 from an online retailer.
{| class="wikitable"
|[[Megatron pistol|Megatron]]
|$100 (median)
|-
|Ultra Magnus
|$100
|-
|Afterburner
|$15
|}

===Transformers: Generation Two===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$30 (at least)
|}
Optimus Prime ($30 at initial retail, probably more if Chris bought it from the secondary market)

===Transformers: Beast Wars===
{| class="wikitable"
|Transmetal Optimus Primal
|$20 ($15 and 20)
|}

===Transformers: Beast Machines===
{| class="wikitable"
|Scavenger
|$10 ($7 and 10)
|}

===Transformers: Armada===
{| class="wikitable"
|Jetfire w/ Comettor
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Megatron w/ Leader-1
|$30 ($25–30)
|-
|Optimus Prime w/ Sparkplug
|$50
|-
|Overload w/ Rollout
|$30
|-
|Cyclonus w/ Crumplezone
|$10
|-
|Sideways w/ Rook and Crosswise
|$12 ($10–12)
|-
|Unicron w/ Dead End
|$50
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''212'''
|}

===Transformers: Energon===
{| class="wikitable"
|Demolishor w/ Blackout
|$12 ($10-12)
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''12'''
|}

===Transformers: Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Brushguard
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Evac
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|Cybertron Defense Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Hot Shot
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Jetfire
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Megatron ($40–50)
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Overhaul
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Override
|$12 ''($10-$12'')
|-
|Primus
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|-
|Red Alert
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Scourge
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Sideways
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Soundwave
|$25 ''($20-25)''
|-
|Thunderclash
|$12 ''($6-8)''
|-
|Undermine
|$8 ''($5-8)''
|-
|Unicron
|$12 ''($10-$12)''
|-
|Vector Prime
|$30 ''($25-30)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|$'''323'''
|}

===''Transformers'' (2007 film)===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime
|$50 ''($40-50)''
|}

===''Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen''===

{| class="wikitable"
|[[Slow-in-the-minds|Skids]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|[[Chris and race|Mudflap]]
|$12 ''($10-12)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$24'''
|}

===Anniversary Editions===
{| class="wikitable"
|20th Anniversary Optimus Prime
|($30–$75 at retail, depending on when Chris bought it)
|}
===Transformers: Alternators===
{| class="wikitable"
|Optimus Prime (Ford pickup truck
|$25 ''($20-25 at retail)''
|}

===Transformers: Heroes of Cybertron===
{| class="wikitable"
|Bumblebee w/ Spike Witwicky
|$5 ''($3-5)''
|}

==Total==
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Optimus Prime '''
|'''$874 (at least)'''
|}

==[[My Little Pony]]==
My Little Pony is popular with little girls worldwide. Sadly, not even the poor ponies are exempt from entering Chris's twisted world. In italics are their new identities.
{| class="wikitable"
|Cutie Keen Bean
|$10'
|-
|Exclusive Lolligiggle (''Educait'')
|$20
|-
|Favorite Friends Rarity the Unicorn Pony Figure (''Johnlamence -Cyber Warrior-'')
|$20
|-
|Cutie Cascade Fairy Dust Pony (''Camo-Flage'', ''Mimmbo Boruto'' and ''Squall Metal Alchemest'')
|$60 ''($20 each, three purchased)''
|-
|Crystal Princess Pretty Patterns Fancy (''Ty Game'')
|$20
|-
|Dress-Up Daywear Wing Wishes with Toola-Roola & Meadowbrook Pony<ref>(He took Toola-Roola's Antennae and put them on Meadowbrook. Toola-Roola's whereabouts are unknown)</ref>
|$50
|-
|Sweetberry Diva Pose (''BottomBeck'')
|$20
|-
|Sweet Breeze Pose (''Honeysumerah'' and ''Modest Manna'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|Seaspray Pose (''Cheroki-Chan'')
|$20
|-
|Beachberry Pose (''Linnhadey'' and ''Federico'')
|$40 ''($20 each, two purchased)''
|-
|'''Total'''
|'''$300'''
|}

==[[Power Rangers]]==
{| class="wikitable"
|Wild Force Predazord
|$50
|}

==Grand Total==
And this isn't even counting all the crap we can't see or are unable to catalogue....
{| class="wikitable"
|'''Grand Total'''
|'''$1,739
|}

==References==
<references/>

{{Lists}}

[[Category:Lists]]