CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack

2014-06-10T04:48:08Z

Nightslash3535: /* Images from the Luv Shack (or: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here) */

{{Honest}}
{{quote|YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER NEW TERRITORY THAT MAY OPEN NEW CREATIVE DOORS WITHIN YOUR MIND.

ARE YOU 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER?

[[Image:Red yes button.JPG]]<br />[[Image:Red no button.JPG]]
|Age check for Sonichu and Rosechu's Love Shack}}
[[Image:052-LindaRonstadtIn.jpg|thumb|right||Chris's Rule 34 goes back to the origins of Sonichu and Rosechu, where he drew crude images of Rosechu.]]

'''Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack''' is the Rule 34 section of [[Chris]]'s [[CWC's Sonichu Site!|Sonichu site]] founded on 12 February [[2009]]. Chris most likely took the name from the 1999 [[South Park]]-themed [[video games|video game]], ''[[Wikipedia:South Park: Chef's Luv Shack|Chef's Luv Shack]]''. While many would think this is simply a ham-fisted attempt to continue his [[Mass debating|"protest"]] against [[ED]], he's actually just trying to get us to open [[Women's rights |"NEW CREATIVE DOORS"]] [[Chris and art|artistically]] and [[Chris and religion|spiritually]]. Who knew [[Chris and art|horribly drawn]] [[china]]s colored in with magic markers could be so illuminating?

Several people noticed, before the site's sudden death, a "For [[Gal pal|Girls]]" section, essentially either requesting or alleging solo or homoerotic [[Sonichu (species)|sonichu]] artwork.

The artwork he did manage to post was mostly stuff he's already uploaded to [[ED]] as well as some new stuff from the pairings from [[Sonichu 9]]. While Chris has been drawing [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg|erotic fantasy artwork]], chances are the love shack is gone for good, despite numerous [[Mailbag|fan requests]] for its return. Creating a page [[Chris and his Ego|not intimately related to him]] would cause too much [[stress]].

==Development==
In a post on the [[Sonichu Girls]] forum from early January 2009, Chris posted:
<div style="border:1px dotted #4682B4;padding:5px; background-color:#F0F8FF">
If you all will recall, I had mentioned the idea of creating a one-time magazine of pictures of the Rosechus (minus Zapina, since she's underage) being sexy in underwear or naked, as a protest of mine against the ED jerks who drew dicks on my female characters and women in general; the heinous, slanderous act still infuriates me. But I withold my rage. A Sonichu Girl asked me when I was going to draw the comic of the Rosechus stripping in protest, so I felt I should put it to a popular vote.

Would you all like to see the multiple pages of the Rosechus being sexy in underwear or naked in the protest against those jerks in the Playboy parodied magazine, or do you all feel I would be crossing a line doing so?

If the popular vote is good, I will draw up the magazine either before or after drawing and coloring my #9 Comic Book, depending on how I feel. I'll make my decision based on the popular responses after a week to a month's time.

Thank you all again for understanding my true meaning behind the stripping protest. :)

Love and Peace.</div>

All the TRUE and LOYAL [[trolls|Sonichu gal fans]] supported Chris's idea and alongside support from "fans" in [[Mumble]], Chris made the site. The Luv Shack went online on 12 February, becoming part of [[Sonichuandrosechu.com]] (the third domain that hosted Chris's Sonichu site, which he had acquired and set up earlier that month).

Chris kept the sub-site very up to date, adding "adult" versions of his comics all the way up to [[Sonichu 9|Sonichu issue #9]]. For a time, the Luv Shack was updated almost as often as the Sonichu comics themselves, although Chris left out some well-known material from the collection (such as the [[Giant Penis Comic]]).

When Chris relaunched his site in April as CWCville.com, he broke several links to the Luv Shack, but the gallery was still available via the old domain name. After the site was repeatedly hacked in May, however, Chris eventually gave up and allowed it to lie fallow. At present, [[CWCipedia]] doesn't have any section like the Luv Shack, and hosts somewhat less explicit versions of comics like [[Sonichu 8]].

As of 26 [[April 2010]] Chris has claimed on his [[CWC Blog#26 April 2010|blog]] that he would never allow adult images on [[CWCipedia|his website]], and that the rule 34 he has created was "leaked". Since Chris has horrifying porn available himself, and at one point had an entire page dedicated to [[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]], this is a lie on both counts.

==Images from the Luv Shack (or: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here)==
{{collapsible
|Incredibly horrific and NSFW, this is your last chance to escape with your sanity
|<center><gallery>
Image:ShecameforCWC (200803).JPG|Even though [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|this]] destroyed his relationship with Megan, he uploaded it to his new website, saying that he needed "sexy pictures for a sexy website."
Image:HedgehogsinFLuv.JPG|According to Chris, this is "romance." In a children's comic. Rosechu looks like she's crying.
Image:BubblesandBlackSonichu.JPG|What Chris originally imagined as comic characters suitable for all ages, in the middle of their hardcore Hanky Panky. You know, for kids!
Image:AngelicainGod'sEyes.JPG|Chris's original text: "FUCK!! Did she have to do that in the house of God?!! " Chris is correct about women's vaginas crying at the sight of him.
Image:MaryWantsIt.JPG|...why, Chris, why?
Image:Rosechu pegging Sonichu.jpg|(Former) loyal [[gal pal]] [[Sarah May]] forced Chris to create a drawing of a female character with a [[pickle]] fucking a male character in order to get his website back. Chris thought he would be clever if he did so with Rosechu, but made it look like she was wearing a strap-on. (This picture is included in the actual luv shack, the caption says she is, in fact,wearing a strap on)
Image:Original-chrischan-rosechu-trap.jpg|But since Sarah May isn't a dumbass, she made him fix it and he gave in.
Image:Silvana34.jpg|Likewise, she forced him to draw one of his female characters with a pickle. Chris thought he'd be clever to do an image of [[Silvana]], who already has a pickle, and who is [[Niggos|black]] so you can't really tell to begin with.
Image:IvyBondage.jpg|Apparently, Ivy is mad about Chris cheating with [[Vanessa Hudgens]].
Image:Punchylaylalove.jpg|[[Punchy Sonichu|Punchy]] rearry [[Tomgirl Pictures|roves to wear]] [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|radies ringerie]].
Image:Punchylaylalove2.jpg|Punchy rearry rike browjob!!!
Image:SchuComic8P102.jpg|From Chris' all-too-informative [http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Biology CWCipedia "Biology" page].
Image:SchuComic8P103.jpg|Why, yes, Chris has given the reproductive systems of his fictional characters great amounts of thought.
Image:SchuComic8P104.jpg|Clearly Chris paid attention in his biology classes
Image:SchuComic8P105.jpg| Sex: Learn about it at the library, on the internet!
Image:SchuComic9Page1-B.jpg| If that wasn't educational enough for you, here's a detailed hand-drawn comic featuring what fictional characters having sex looks like, from [[Sonichu 9]].
Image:SchuComic9Page1-G.jpg|The view from Sonichu's penis cam.
Image:SchuComic9Page1-H .jpg|Sonichu knows ALL the positions.
Image:SchuComic9Page5-A.jpg|[[Audiobooks|Look at that face goddamn!]]
Image:RosechuNude2.jpg|Hey, while you're here, you might be interested to know that most of this is [[Chris and tracing|traced]]
Image:RosechuNude3.jpg|He even signs his own Rule 34.
Image:RosechuNude4.jpg|Chris claims he's against bestiality...
Image:RosechuNude5.jpg|Chris is a expert at leg proportions.
Image:RosechuNude6.jpg|Sonichu and Rosechu are all-animal.
Image:RosechuNude7.jpg|Suddenly, bangs!
Image:RosechuNude8.jpg|Rosechu pees pink.
Image:SchuComic9Page19-A.jpg|Strangely enough, Chris has quite a lot in common with Snapesnogger.
Image:SchuComic9Page19-B.jpg|Chris shows us the images he used to trace the Rosechu nudes.
Image:SchuComic9Page19-D.jpg|And now you know what cartoons Chris faps to.
Image:SchuComic9Page32-E.jpg|Later, Rosechu shows us what [[Women's rights]] looks like.
Image:SchuComic9Page32-F.jpg|Chris has made a detailed study of [[Muscle bra|bras]] to draw this.
Image:SchuComic9Page32-G.jpg|I AM EXPLODING VAGINA, DESTROYER OF WORLDS
Image:SchuComic9Page61.jpg| A final scene wherein [[Blake]] is paralyzed by [[Silvana]]'s poison secretions, while she is disguised as [[Chaotic Combo#Bubbles|Bubbles]]

</gallery></center>}}

==See also==
*[[Chris and sex]]
*[[Women's rights]]
*[[CWCRockin4Way.jpg]]
*[[ShecameforCWC.JPG]]
*[[Jackie E-mails 14]], which feature even more "erotic" art.

{{References}}

==External links==
*<s>[http://www.sonichuandrosechu.com/sonichuandrosechuluvshack/index.html Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]</s> bahleeted
*<s>[http://www.cwcville.com/sonichuandrosechuluvshack/index.html NEW and TRUE Sonichu and Rosechu's Luv Shack]... Which goes to the old, dead one. [http://www.cwcville.com/sonichuandrosechuluvshack/xxx/index.html Here's] where it's supposed to send you.</s> Nope!
*[http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcville/CWCXXXart.html Archive (WARNING: Not suitable for people with a heart level under 80%)]
{{The Internet}}
[[Category:Chris's websites]]
[[Category:Rule 34]]

100 2267

2014-06-09T11:58:39Z

Nightslash3535: /* Transcript */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris attempts to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by doing an overblown impression of him. He dresses up in <s>[[black]]</s> fuckin' orangeface, and tries to copy Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back. The theme suddenly changes when Chris starts to rambling about how he deserves to die.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vWJ9ZyEMoKE}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

{{quote|Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with [[Christian Weston Chandler|"I GOT WHAT I DESERVE"]] on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the [[internet]] and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] ''[voice begins to break]'' who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Speech impediment|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]'' Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Chris and death|Kill me now! Kill me now,]] [[Chris and religion|I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore!]] [[Autism|Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]
*[[Don't Mess With Me]], a previous video where Chris acts as Clyde Cash

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07]]

100 2267

2014-06-09T11:57:35Z

Nightslash3535: /* Transcript */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris attempts to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by doing an overblown impression of him. He dresses up in <s>[[black]]</s> fuckin' orangeface, and tries to copy Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back. The theme suddenly changes when Chris starts to rambling about how he deserves to die.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vWJ9ZyEMoKE}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

{{quote|Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with [[Christian Weston Chandler|"I GOT WHAT I DESERVE"]] on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the [[internet]] and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] ''[voice begins to break]'' who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Speech impediment|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]'' Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Chris and death|Kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a]] [[Chris and religion|spawn of Satan anymore!]] [[Autism|Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}

==See also==
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]
*[[Don't Mess With Me]], a previous video where Chris acts as Clyde Cash

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07]]

Chris and religion

2014-06-09T11:55:21Z

Nightslash3535: /* Afterlife */

{{Articleofthenow}}
{{quote|I believe in God and Jesus too, but God must hate me to put me in the lifestyle I am forced to be cooped up and bored with.|Eli Eli lama sabaqtani! ([[Facebook]])}}
[[Image:SonichuRosechuReligious.jpg|thumb|right|Sonichu and Rosechu recall Joseph's story of "forgiveness" prior to Rosechu brutally faceraping [[Jason Kendrick Howell]].]]
'''The religion of [[Christian Weston Chandler]]''' is a complicated topic because his stated religious convictions often differ from his actual, peculiar beliefs about God, sinfulness, and the nature of good and evil.

That Chris professes a belief in Christianity completes the general stereotype of the [[naïve]] [[Ruckersville, VA|hillbilly]] [[Slow-in-the-minds|idiot]] who thinks that citing divine authority is the way to win arguments about things he doesn't understand. With religion, like anything else, Chris only hears what he wants to hear. For example, he accepts his religion's teachings condemning [[homos]]exuality ''yet'' ignores the fact that it also forbids pre-marital [[Chris and sex|sex]], [[Nudes|pornography]], and [[Chris and health|gluttony]]. This dissonance is exemplified in his reaction to the news that [[PandaHalo]] had been raped and impregnated by [[Clyde Cash]]: he actively encouraged her to spend time with her rapist because a child should know and be raised by both of its parents... shortly after encouraging her to get an abortion.<ref>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref>

Chris's narrow view of the world requires that [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and [[Rosechu]] share his religious beliefs, despite the fact that they also regard Chris as their almighty creator and father.

Regardless of his religion, Chris believes he has received [[Dreams|multiple visions from God]].

==Denomination==
{{quote|And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, [[BlueSpike|fornication]], [[Twin Falling Towers|wickedness]], [[Kacey|covetousness]], [[Don't Mess With Me|maliciousness]]; full of [[Infinitely high boyfriend factor|envy]], [[Death threats|murder]], [[Mass debating|debate]], [[List of Chris's lies|deceit]], [[Chris and anger|malignity]]; whisperers, [[Autism Tutorial Extra|backbiters]], haters of God, [[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)|despiteful]], [[Chris and his Ego|proud]], [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|boasters]], inventors of [[Sonichu|evil things]], [[Bob Chandler|disobedient to parents]], [[Naïve|without understanding]], covenantbreakers, [[Hanky-panky|without natural affection]], [[Chris and remorse|implacable]], [[Sonichu Special 4|unmerciful]]: who knowing the judgment of God, that they which [[For Julie's Eyes Only|commit such things are worthy of death]], not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.|Romans 1:28-32, on Chris}}

[[Image:CHRISjesuss.jpg|thumb|right||Program from Chris's baptism]]
At some time in his youth, Chris was baptized in an unspecified [[Wikipedia:Methodism|Methodist]] church.<ref>[[IRC (28 December 2008)]]</ref> The first church he and his parents are known to have attended is [[Grace Baptist Church]], a small congregation in [[Charlottesville]] that launched in [[2000]].<ref>http://cvilletomorrow.typepad.com/charlottesville_tomorrow_/2007/12/grace_baptist.html</ref> In [[2008]] he was, under [[Nudes|mysterious circumstances]], forced to leave that community, at which time he began attending [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].

"Wesley Mem" is located near the [[University of Virginia]] and has an unusually liberal theology; the common conclusion among [[trolls]] is that congregations more in line with Chris's opinions of [[homos]] are equally intolerant of him, so he had to come here. The doctrinal differences between the [[Wikipedia:Southern Baptist|Southern Baptist]] and Methodist denominations are probably too subtle for Chris to concern himself with, and he likely does not identify with any particular denomination of Christianity beyond simply being Protestant.

Chris has no connection to Catholicism, which he seems to regard as a benign but alien practice. In his comics, he assigns it to a minor character, [[Angelica Rosechu]], whose faith doesn't practically differentiate her from the rest of the inhabitants of [[CWCville]] - she's still as much of a slut as the rest of the [[Rosechu (species)|Rosechus]]. Also, her home congregation is called "Samuel Memorial United Christian Church," which is about the least likely name for a Roman Catholic church Chris could have come up with.

[[PandaHalo]]'s persona was designed to be devoutly Roman Catholic specifically to confound Chris's desire for pre-marital sex with contraception. Faced with this challenge, Chris tried to argue that God really does allows premarital sex because his pastor said so. Members of the same religion often differ on the finer points of God's will because ultimately there is no objective point of reference to settle the dispute. Chris cannot comprehend this because to him his beliefs ''are'' that point of reference; [[Autism|you either share his beliefs or you're receiving bad information]].

==Concept of God (or: GodJesus)==
[[Image:CWCletter.jpg|thumb|left|Chris invokes God and Jesus, saying they told him that [[Blanca]] is real. Proof that God and Jesus are on the [[trolls]]' side.]]
[[Image:SchuComic10P09.jpg|thumb|right|God and Jesus ('sup?) tell Chris he is meant to be with [[Ivy]].]]
[[Image:Jesusbot.jpg|thumb|right|This is what Chris actually believes.]]

Chris had a fundamental belief in an omnipotent, benevolent God; beyond this, he also accepts Jesus Christ as the son of God and the savior of mankind. He's reluctant to mention God without also including Jesus, perhaps out of some sense that he must stress his specifically Christian notion of God. In effect, Chris frequently refers to "God and Jesus" (or "GodJesus"<ref>[[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions]]</ref><ref>[[CWC Update 9 April 2009]]</ref>) as if they were some sort of [[wikipedia:Binitarianism|Binity]], unlike the mainstream Christian concept of the [[Wikipedia:Trinity|Trinity]], which states that God Himself exists as three "persons" or expressions in one Being.

Being the unparalleled study in [[Chris and his Ego|ego]]tism he is, Chris seemed to view God as a more of a metaphor for his own will than a supreme being to whom he is subject. In Chris's previous view of God, the almighty will overlook (or doesn't care about) his misdeeds, but will become as enraged as Chris over those of others, especially when they are against him. Case in point, the ''fact'' that Chris cheated in the [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|PaRappa the Rapper contest]] is not nearly as important as the ''suspicion'' that [[Adam Stackhouse]] did.

Chris believes God has a special interest in his own life, which would be consistent with Western monotheism, except that he also thinks God has nothing better to do than attend to him, and him alone. In his worldview, God's primary purpose should be to arrange events so that he is happy, and punish those who make him unhappy. This is nearly the exact opposite of Christianity which states that man is to serve God. He was commonly observed saying things like "with God (and Jesus) on my side I will... [insert anything Chris fails at]." He often invokes the wrath of God in his [[Death threats|infantile threats]], and is oblivious to the fact that God has yet to back him up on any of them.

Much like the [[Wikipedia:Ruhollah Khomeini|Ayatollah Khomeini]], Chris attributes most of his motivations to commands given to him directly from GodJesus in [[Dreams|visions]]. His exact beliefs concerning these prophetic dreams are difficult to pin down, but the most rational interpretation is that Chris dreams about something he'd like to do, then wakes up and decides it was God telling him to do it. In Chris's mind, each vision is simultaneously a directive to do something and proof that it will happen no matter what occurs. For instance, after Chris had a vision about fathering a [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|daughter]], he decided he was required to actively [[Love Quest|make that happen]] while also assuring himself that [[Virgin with rage|failure]] was impossible. When Chris was being accused of [[Chris and race|racism]] for insisting that he can only date white women, he justified this by arguing that prophesied daughter must be white.

Subsequent visions from God have supposedly confirmed that [[Blanca Weiss]], [[PandaHalo]] and [[Ivy]] were to be the mother of [[Daughter|Chris's child]], despite the fact that each of these women subsequently turned out to be [[trolls]]. This proves that God, if he exists, is either not responsible for Chris's supposedly prophetic dreams, or is having a [[Laughs Under Lucricities|laugh at his expense]].

Chris also believes that if he confesses his sins to GodJesus he will be forgiven. Private confessions directly to God are not uncommon in Protestantism, but generally it's assumed that the confessor is doing so to genuinely atone for mistakes. However, Chris abuses the purpose of confession so that he can commit whatever wrongs he wants and then wipe the slate clean with his "confession." For example, Chris made [[To Clyde and Jack|a video]] in which he suggested that [[Clyde Cash]] and [[Jack Thaddeus]] commit suicide so that they can burn in Hell forever. He later drew them doing just that in [[Sonichu (comic)|his comic]]. Just one day after the comic appearance, Chris answered a fan letter asking why he had been wishing suicide upon them, and pointing out that such a wish conflicts with his Christian beliefs. Chris responded that he had "confessed of that to God and Jesus, and they have forgiven [him] on that."<ref>[[Mailbag 33#Chris demanded suicide under "reasonable hatred"]]</ref> One of two things happened: either Chris wished for their deaths in the video, asked for forgiveness, then gleefully drew it happening afterward anyway, or he waited until he'd finally got done saying his piece, then conveniently offered up his confession right after getting everything out of his system. Either way, such a confession is highly disingenuous.

Traditional theology has long dealt with the so-called "problem of pain" in books Chris is unlikely to read anytime soon. It was strange that despite Chris's strong past belief that GodJesus is backing him up on his [[Love Quest]], that God imparts on him such [[stress]] and trolling. He seems to believe that the way prayer should work is the same way a little kid learns to get what they want: by saying "please." To Chris, prayer is apparently like ordering a pizza, and as long as you pray for something, it'll show up for you exactly how you ordered it, a principle that applies to base and material things as much as spiritual guidance.

Eventually, Chris came to blame God for his misfortunes in a [[Other documents#Epistle to the Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church|letter]] meant for his fellow parishioners at Wesley Memorial. The date of the letter is unknown, but cannot have been written earlier than [[July 2011]], as Ed Winkler, the pastor mentioned in the letter, joined the staff of Wesley Memorial on that month.<ref>[http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ed-winkler/1a/16a/360 Ed Winkler's profile] at LinkedIn</ref>
{{clear}}

==Afterlife==
{{Quote|For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.|Ephesians 2:8-10, on the place of good deeds in the Christian faith.}}
{{Quote|Like most people; our souls leave our bodies, we end up in Heaven or Hell depending on our deeds/misdeeds, and possibly Reincarnation.|Chris,<ref>[[Mailbag 30#Questions]]</ref>}} {{clear}}

While the idea of good deeds causing someone to go to heaven and bad deeds sending them to hell is not an uncommon one, Protestant theology explicitly states that the salvation of one's soul is based completely on one's faith. In general this teaching means that one's prior sins (no matter how terrible) can be forgiven by God, and that members of the faith should try to live righteous lives not because it will get them into heaven, but simply because doing so is morally the right thing to do. The salvation of one's soul through faith is essentially the single point upon which nearly every Protestant denomination is based.

Like everything else, Chris fails at this basic concept, stating that one goes to heaven or hell based completely on personal actions. He personally believes he will go to heaven because he's done "[[Common Questions#Answered 01/01/10|a lot of]] [[28 October 2011|good deeds]]". Likewise, he feels that [[homos]] are almost certainly bound to go to hell, and need to turn straight to "[[Mailbag 18#In which Chris believes he has magic powers (srsly)|better their chances of going to heaven]]". He has also stated numerous times that he feels [[Clyde Cash|various]] [[Jack Thaddeus|trolls]] are bound for hell for making fun of people over the internet. He has suggested that they [[To Clyde and Jack|commit suicide]] so that they might receive their eternal punishment faster.

Additionally, Chris [[Mailbag 21#Chris gets a call from The Doctor|believes in the concept of reincarnation]], common in Hinduism and other Eastern religions, though he has yet to offer any criteria for what might cause someone to be reincarnated. While reincarnation was and to some extent is still embraced by a few Christian sects, Chris himself realizes none of this.

In 2013, Chris commented that he had considered suicide, but "The only reasons I don't do it are my mother and my dogs, and that premature death leaves one in Limbo."<ref>[[October 2013 Facebook Posts]]</ref> In reality, [[Wikipedia:Limbo|Limbo]] is, in some Roman Catholic views, a state that unbaptised infants were supposed to enter into when they died: happy, but excluded from God due to their original sin. [[Wikipedia:Religious views on suicide|Christian views on suicide]] and the fate of suicides in the afterlife is highly varied.

His belief that suicide leads one to limbo may stem from the [[South Park]] episode "[[Wikipedia:Death (South Park)|Death]]", in which it is found that the grandfather of a minor character is spending eternity in limbo for having his grandson euthanize him.

==Concept of sin==
{{quote|But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...|Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:44}}

{{quote|I PRAY TO GOD AND JESUS TO [[Death threats|KILL]] [[Jason Kendrick Howell|JASON KENDRICK HOWELL]]|Chris, [[Sonichu Girls]] Forum}}

{{quote|HAVE A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT YOU READ THIS MESSAGE, YOU GOD DAMN BITCHING WHORE!|E-mail from Chris to [[Vivian]]}}

Other than vehemently opposing [[homos]], [[trolls]] and [[jerkop]]s, Chris seems to have little notion about the nature of sin and evil except that people who do things he doesn't like should go to hell. This is completely at odds with the part of Christian philosophy that states all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and anyone who repents his sins will be redeemed.

Chris's understanding of Christian theology is extremely limited, and he does not seem to know anything about the Bible (although he apparently owns a copy of the New International Version). His homophobia had nothing to do with the prohibitions on homosexuality in the Old Testament, which he was unaware of until he heard about it from ''[[Family Guy]]''. His [[Fapcup|aversion to "spilling his seed"]] and his [[recycling|dedication to the unborn]] have absolutely no basis in Biblical passages condemning sexual immorality and abortion.

When Chris gave in to temptation and cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] in violation of his monogamous relationship with [[Ivy]], Chris made [[Matthew 5:27, CWC Confessions|a big production]] out of confessing his sin and seeking forgiveness. This suggests that he previously had little to no experience with the idea of repenting sins before God.

===Breaking all Ten Commandments===

The Ten Commandments are the foundation of all the Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). Chris isn't a strict follower of these either, despite [[Mumble 8|calling them all out by name before an audience of trolls.]]

# '''"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"''': While he claims to be devoted to GodJesus [[Chris and reality|in real life]], his [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|in-comic persona]] seems to be a full-blown God Mode Sue. Furthermore, he wears a [[Medallion of Fail]] around his neck, in the same place where TRUE and HONEST Christians commonly wear crosses. Also, it bears mentioning that he once erected a [[Megan Shrine|shrine for Megan.]]
# '''"Thou shalt not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above"''': The most common interpretation is that this commandment does not forbid drawing pictures of heavenly beings (seen above), but instead refers to the construction or fashioning of "idols" in the likeness of created things (beasts, fish, birds, people) and worshiping them. Chris seems to believe that either the [[Medallions of Fail]] or the [[Amnyfest Ring]] are the source of [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|supernatural powers]], in direct violation of this commandment. Furthermore, his borderline obsessive habit of [[Pok%C3%A9walker_of_Fail|altering]] [[PSP of Fail|everything]] [[Wii Remote of Fail|he]] [[Attraction Sign|owns]] [[Son-chu#Vanity_plate|with]] the likeness of himself and/or his character [[Sonichu]] may also be a violation, since he apparently reveres his own fictional character over his love of God. It was also revealed that he not only made a Lego figurine in the image of God, but is also contemplating "torturing" it as well.
# '''"Thou shalt not swear falsely by the name of thy Lord"''': Chris has repeatedly cited the name of God when making outrageous claims about what he intends to do, whether it be to get back at [[trolls]], or to find a potential [[sweetheart]], regardless of whether or not he actually succeeds in meeting these unrealistic expectations. He also says "goddamn" a lot too.
# '''"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"''': As noted above, the Sabbath is almost exclusively observed by Jews rather than Christians, but it is still pretty likely that Chris has broken this commandment by "going to work" (making his comics, which he intends to make money off of) on Saturday. A more straight-up example would be the countless times that he has neglected going to church on Sunday, the Christian sabbath. Also, it's pretty unlikely that God would like Chris choosing a Sunday to engage in adulterous, pre-marital sex, which directly breaks one of His other Commandments (see "Thou shalt not commit adultery" below.)
# '''"Honor thy [[Bob Chandler|father]] and thy [[Barbara Chandler|mother]]"''': Surprisingly, Chris has come pretty close to actually obeying this commandment. Not close enough, however, as Chris has been known to do [[THAT IS MY HOUSE|things]] [[Bob walks in|that]] [[Tomgirl|upset]] his parents. Recently, however, he clearly dishonored his ailing mother by getting her in [[28 October 2011|severe legal troubles]] over a matter that was his own fault, and due to the circumstances, she fared worse off than him (she faced two felony charges whereas Chris only faced one.)
# '''"Thou shalt not kill"''': Hoo boy. Chris [[Death threats|seems to want to directly defy this commandment]]. Bonus points for actually praying to GodJesus to kill his enemies... and then repenting to GodJesus in the same breath. Alternatively, considering the revelation that he believes cartoon characters really exist, his actions in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] where he collapses a building full of people, killing at least a hundred people for relatively minor slights gives him the biggest body count of the series. He came ''dangerously'' close in his in famous [[28 October 2011|run in with Michael Snyder]], where it was [[This is how the Trial went|revealed]] that he hit Snyder not once, but ''twice'' with his vehicle and attempted to flee afterwards instead of stopping.
# '''"Thou shalt not commit adultery"''': For a while, it seemed that Chris would have been following this commandment [[Virgin with Rage|for the rest of his life]]. Christians believe that this commandment states that they should avoid having any lustful thoughts, sex before marriage, etc. Figuratively, however, he broke this rule when he cybered with [[Vanessa Hudgens]] and had phone sex with [[Julie]]. In his [[comic]], his affair with [[Lovely Weather]] arguably counts as a form of adultery, as well, and even if it doesn't, his subsequent affair with Meg from ''[[Family Guy]]'' certainly does. Also, he clearly has [[Third date|no problem with]] [[F Abstinance|premarital sex in general]]. With the recent revelation that he may have lost his virginity in an apparent one night stand, though, it's pretty safe to say that this commandment has now been literally broken. Even if one is generous and says that this commandment only applies to infidelity, Chris still violated it because he attempted to cheat on [[Ivy]] with [[Vanessa Hudgens]], and also tried to get [[Kacey]] to cheat on [[Liquid Chris|Liquid]] with him.
# '''"Thou shalt not steal"''': If [[Chris and Copyright|plagiarism]] counts, he may as well be sitting in the Devil's lap. He has stolen money from his parents to purchase games on PSN and he even purposely wrote a bad check to Joshua for a PSP. Also, one could argue that he is guilty of stealing [[monthly tugboat|your taxpayer dollars.]] However, some scholars argue that this commandment actually means ''Thou shalt not kidnap'', which Chris hasn't done... yet. Watch your back, ladies.
# '''"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor"''': Chris has been known to [[Lie|bend the truth]] in order to make himself look good and to defame [[Jerkops|other]] [[Mary Lee Walsh|people]], if his [[Sub-Episodes|comics]] are any indicator. This was especially prevalent within the [[Alec Benson Leary]] saga. Some interpret this commandment as not being against falsehood in general, but against lies that hurt other people. However, even by this generous interpretation, Chris is a sinner because he has accused [[Michael Snyder]] of [[pedofork|child molestation]], something which could easily ruin his life if anybody believed him.
# '''"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods"''': Arguably the one he is most guilty of breaking. As noted in the Seven Deadly Sins, Chris has shown to be extremely resentful to other people who win prizes, be they [[Adam Stackhouse|video games]], [[Honor Roll|art awards]], or [[JERKS|girlfriends]]. It should also be noted that the original passage in the Bible specifically forbids the coveting of your [[Liquid Chris|neighbor]]'s [[Kacey|wife]], which would be a bit redundant considering #7.

==Chris and Forgiveness==

A major tenet in most any religion you can think of is the act of forgiveness. Unfortunately for Chris, he has [[Autism|no idea of what forgiveness really is]], and will often hold grudges against [[Clyde Cash|anybody]] [[Michael Snyder|he]] feels has wronged him, [[Greene County Conspiracy|sometimes even for years]]. While some may argue that he did show [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha_Retraction|forgiveness]] in a few of his videos, even more will argue that such things were done either under an [[China|ulterior motive]] or is meaningless as [[Facebook#Maniacal_Laughter_from_Who_now.3F_Oh.2C_wait.2C_It_Is_ME.21_.3E8D|he goes on to curse and scream at them later on]].

[[This is how the Trial went|During his trial]] on July 10th, 2012, it was discovered that Michael Snyder made a plea that Chris be shown leniency, as a felony was a life-changing event that could really harm Chris in the long run. This comes despite Chris [[The_GAMe_PLACe#Chris.27s_attitude_at_The_GAMe_PLACe|scaring his customers away]], ''(while he was still allowed in the store)'', [[Michael_Snyder_is_ColdHearted_and_Mean#Video|shouting racist slurs at him]], [[Autism_Tutorial_Part_3|making threats to burn down the store]], and [[28 October 2011|injuring him with his car]]. This was probably the most extraordinary form of forgiveness that anyone has ever shown towards Chris, even after the latter's horrible actions. Chris' show of gratitude was to go against all common sense and commit ''public slander'' in a court of law:

{{quote|I don't think that [[Michael Snyder|thieving liar]] deserves a [[Monthly tugboat|red cent]]!|Chris, [[This is how the Trial went]]}}

Long story short, Chris does not forgive, nor does he forget.

==Chris and Blasphemy==

Blasphemy is defined as showing contempt towards God. Though Chris has been faithful to God ''(the word being used VERY loosely here)'', there were a couple of notable instances where he openly defied his will as preached by the church. One instance had him release a video called [[F Abstinence]], where he announced his plans to yell "FUCK ABSTINENCE!" in his church ''(it is unknown if he actually did follow through with this, but what is known is that he was banned from the church for some reason between 2011 and 2013.)'' Later on, [[Other_documents#Epistle_to_the_Wesley_Memorial_United_Methodist_Church|a letter leaked on March 2013]] seems to indicate that Chris has turned his back on the church of the Big Man Upstairs, and stops a hair short of outright calling Him a troll:

{{quotebox|1=
**Please Print (in multiples) and Share This Message with EVERYBODY at Church**

I, Christian Weston Chandler, will not be attending church for a long time.

I feel that ever since Reverend Elizabeth Foss left our church, it has greatly gone downhill for me. Ed Winkler Banned me from the church for a month. He has Banned me from Speaking my peace during the Sharing of Joys and Concerns, and from that, I have felt unnecessarily Silenced. I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life. My life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness, loneliness and great stress. Only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me, and I have very little to share in common with any of them. Nobody even close to my age, or even in their twenties, gives me much to do, or include me in their conversations.

Aside from that, I am hated by a number of people for [[Autism|reasons beyond my full understanding]], because I always tried to be a [[Death Threats|good]] [[Homos#Hatred_of_homos|and]] [[Kill De Jack|nice]] person for a long time. And in public, I am constantly overlooked, ignored or ostracized by Everybody. Even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention. I continue to be paranoid of most everyone, because of [[Chris and Reality|them likely being among the Internet Trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me]]. I am still long desperate for a woman to be my [[Sweetheart]]. I am tired of being single, dang it. I continue to serve my family the best I can, and [[Chris_and_his_Ego#Fishing_For_Sympathy|I continue to feel sad, depressed and lonely]]. My heart feels numb, and I am forced to keep a great emotional distance from Everybody outside my house and home. I am an autistic mental and emotional mess, and there is very little I can do to help myself, beyond my knowledge. '''And God sees fit for some (hate-filled) reason to continue to curse me as a jinx.'''

And, so, the church is not helping me much in my life, mentally, or emotionally, at all. So I will not be coming back for a long time.

Sent from my iPhone

Stay Safe,

Christian W. Chandler
}}

Long story short, Chris feels that God has decided to play [[Kick the Autistic]], and had made the decision to pass these letters insulting Him to the congregation, possibly in a bid to fish for sympathy.

In email from 1 [[May 2013]], he goes as far as telling that he sometimes feels "emptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it".
{{quotebox|1=
Hey, Kim. I have just read over some of the webpage Phil relayed to me. I must admit, and Amy is welcome to read this as well, it took me by surprise seeing the words "Magick" and "Pagan" in this religion(?).

I like magic(k). I have fully accepted Jesus as my savior. And my mother, father, and what I've hear on television, all have informed me about heaven, hell, that the best way to live is as one does without much regret or with moderate acceptance and happiness. And that "God" is within all of us, as energy and direction. And in the end, we all believe in the same God(ess). Yet also, if God is supposed to love us all, why does he let me continue to have a Lot of downs in my life? I often feel temptation towards destroying the Lego Minifigure I have made in an image of God, or otherwise just torturing it. I admit, I am not perfect.

But I prattle or digress.

So, all things considered, Amy, I will be most willing to try your way on, and see how I feel fully about it after. The way I figure it, at least I can still go to my church regardless. :)

Sent from my iPhone Stay Safe, Christian W. Chandler
}}

However, email reveals that his relationship with God is somewhat complicated, but this is a matter either of hypocrisy or just [[Slow-in-the-minds|inability]] to see the contradiction in his beliefs. Also, he doesn't want to quit going to the church, while holding kinda pantheistic view of God and even considering trying another religion (which is something suggested to him by a [[gal-pal]] and we can as yet speculate what is it).

On 7 September 2013, Chris once again cursed God's name on [[Facebook]] after a run in with a [[jerkop]] while he was pitching a fit about how God has been trolling him over the course of the past several days. He goes on to state he wishes God would kill him, which is not very Christian-like, considering the consequences for that are very stiff (depending on the religion you believe in).
{{quotebox|1=
God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!}}

Case in point, Chris may as well label God as a [[troll|"DAMN, DIRTY TROLL"]], just as he's labeled everyone else. It's only a matter of time before God decides to get even with Chris, [[Chris_and_the_law|either very soon]], or [[Chris_and_death|sometime in the near future]].

==Chris the Shaman==
{{quote|The spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! She will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.|Chris, [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke]]}}

{{quote|1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate.<br> 2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities.<br> 3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again.<br> 4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust.<br> 5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.|Chris's terrifyingly insane list of "spells", [[Mailbag 23#Chris and the dark arts|Mailbag 23]]}}
[[Image:Ickeriss medallions.jpg|thumb|right||The Medallions serve as Chris's connection to the spirit realm.]]

{{quote|I pray the soul of my father gives you all nightmares|Chris on using the spirits of the dead}}

Despite his professed Christianity, Chris's beliefs and behaviors almost tend towards a sort of shamanistic mindset, where God is a force to be controlled and the universe can be influenced by various mystic rituals. In Chris's case, he seems to believe that his tirades and tantrums will somehow affect the trolls who torment him. His attacks on the [[Clown Doll]], for instance, are a metaphorical threat, but also suggest an attempt at somehow literally harming the trolls through [[Wikipedia:sympathetic magic|sympathetic magic]], like a voodoo doll. He views his revenge against his enemies in the comic or in ''[[Soul Calibur]] III'' as being equivalent to actual revenge, rather than simply venting.

The world of [[CWCville]] is also a spirit realm, where Chris is almighty and can create and shape it as he pleases due to his power of "creativity". It exists outside, but parallel, to the real world, and sometimes Chris seems to honestly believe that it's a real place, even if it's just imaginary. This idea of the spirit realm became more valid when, in a [[Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke|video]], Chris claimed that the soul of his [[Patti Chandler|dead dog]] (now [[Patti-Chan|living in CWCville]]) would devour Alec Benson Leary's soul and haunt his [[dreams]].

While Chris has used the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] in reality, he never took it too seriously, at least until he used it on [[Liquid Chris]] in a video. With the "kidnapping" of Liquid, he then realized that he had "the power" to actually curse people. He also developed a new ability to bless people via the [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Retraction|Forgiveness Blessings]] skill. He honestly seems to believe that these powers are real, even stating in one video that if it works, then he knows he has "the power." GaoGaiGar fans then promptly wanted to hit Chris for his abuse of [[Wikipedia:The_King_of_Braves_GaoGaiGar_glossary#.22THE_POWER.22_and_Jupiter-X|ZA POWER]]. Chris later stated in a music video that if people antagonize him, they will be cursed, but if you're TRUE and HONEST, you will receive blessings.

[[Image:thoushaltnotsufferacwctolive.JPG|thumb|left||Thou shalt not suffer a CWC to live.]]
Chris ought to be aware that his sorcery is not merely atypical of a Christian, but in fact explicitly proscribed by his faith. [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=galatians%205:19-20&version=KJV Galatians 5:19-20] lists witchcraft as one of the more blatant acts of sin, whilst in the Old Testament, [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+22%3A18&version=KJV Exodus 22:18] commands "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live". That's right, there's a Biblical mandate for Chris's death (and though there is some debate as to whether or not the original terms used refers only to harmful spellcasters, Chris has repeatedly attempted to curse people with things like death and haunting for very petty reasons). Alec Benson Leary, in one of his [[Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 8|phone calls]] with Chris, attempted to point out the thoroughly un-Christian nature of Chris's dabbling in black magic, but his reasoning appeared to have little effect.

Of course, it is important to remember, even if he did convert to a shamanistic faith, chances are most groups would kick him out just as quickly. Cursing people is one of the few things Wiccans and neo-Pagans are forbidden from doing (at least without good reason), and most all groups would look down upon his general idiocy and his dabbling into powers [[Slow-in-the-minds|beyond his comprehension]] – not to even mention the fact that neo-Pagans often take a dim view on people who get into religious groups [[Chris and sex#Moral basis on sex and double standards|just to get sex]], without comprehending the philosophy. No matter what, Chris will likely be hated for being an [[Chris and his Ego|egotistical]], [[Women's rights|sexist]], [[Chris and race|racist]], failure.

For all we know, Chris will one day start popping magic mushrooms and writing comics based on that, which many agree would be a huge improvement on his current work.

==Delusions of Godhood?==
{{quote|Fear not. For behold I bring tidings of great joy.|Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
{{quote|I prayed for forgiveness from the real Christian. Sonichu, will he forgive me?|Aspie Sonichu, [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]]}}
[[Image:Issue 10 Pg 48.jpg|thumb|Sonichu cracks open his tomb and descends in a beam of light.]]
Starting on page 42 of [[Sonichu 10|issue #10]], Chris displays a somewhat disturbing twist to the plot (such as it is) of his comics. [[Ultra Sonichu]] frees [[Zelina Rosechu]] from her stoned state using his Chaotic powers, then appears to [[Darkbind Sonichu]] with a message similar in tone, if not outright text, to prophecies of the coming of Jesus Christ (complete with arms outstretched as if he were suspended on a crucifix).

Later on in the issue, Ultra Sonichu travels to the world of [[Asperchu]], where the characters of that comic inform him that they were forced into their roles by Alec, and that they had been praying to Christian Weston Chandler for deliverance and forgiveness. Lo and behold, Chris did send the Messiah Sonichu to end their suffering. Sonichu uses the "Chaotic Remedy" to miraculously cure them all of their [[Asperger syndrome]] (even though only Asperchu himself had the condition) and gives them new names and new, "better" looks.

It should be noted that, like Jesus Christ, [[Sonichu]] was born to a [[virgin with rage|virgin]].

Even before this, Chris had directly compared himself to God. In Issue #7, after Christian is lost in the Time Void, [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_32 Sonichu says this].

{{quote|In the meantime, he will receive the [[Chris and English|accumilitive]] memories of the passing moments, so in a way, he is looking down on us, like our Lord and God are able to, but the vision may be blurred.|[[Sonichu]], [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]]}}

Possibly in response to criticism about acting as God, in [http://cogsdev.110mb.com/cwcipedia/index.php/Issue_10/Page_62 later pages] Chris addressed the issue of the non-canon chaotic combo worshiping him in an incredibly ignorant manner. First, he declares that he is not God but "a servant of him and Jesus", and immediately after goes on to "forgive" Michael (the copycat Sonichu's made-over name) for "baring false witness against <nowiki>[Chris]</nowiki>", as if he has the authority to forgive the breaking of the ten commandments, ''like he's God or something.'' In addition, only five pages later [[Angelica]] condemns those who prefer [[Asperchu|Alec]]'s artwork over Chris's as "blasphemous".<ref>[http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=File:SchuComic10P66.jpg Issue 10, page 66]</ref>

Further evidence of Chris's blossoming God complex comes through his answer to some of the frequently asked questions that were put to him via the [[Mailbag]], where he states that he considers Sonichu to have over a billion fans.<ref>[[Common Questions]]</ref> The only other fictional character who can claim such a number is GodJesus (or AllahMuhammad). This mad fuckery is compounded by the fact that Chris is like a God to Sonichu; this means that his opinion of himself is that of a God's God. Or maybe a [[Christopher's name change|God's bear]]. Chris moves in mysterious ways.

In his e-mails to [[Reggie Fils-Aimé]] he seems to call himself Jesus: ''"You have my word as an Avid Gamer, Lamb of God, and Humble Human Being that I WILL work Very Hard to Save, Save, Save."''<ref>[[Reggie Fils-Aimé]]</ref> However, this could also be a [[Chris and English|malapropism]] for "Word of God."

Chris might have developed a God complex as early as [[2000]], as the halo floating over his head on the cover of ''[[Christian's Favorite Hits!]]'' seems to indicate.
{{clear}}

==Chris and other faiths==
Given his sheltered existence in the heart of the suburban American South, Chris probably hasn't had much direct exposure to anything but mainstream brands of Protestantism. When his "fans" asked him for his feelings on other religions during an [[IRC (28 December 2008)|IRC chat]], he glossed over the question and simply reiterated his own unthinking statement of faith. At other times, his comments have been scattered and inconsistent.

===Other Christian denominations===
Chris has described "[[Wikipedia:Mormonism|Mormans]]" [sic] as not being datable.<ref>[[MySpace messages]]</ref> He has never explained why, but he may have learned through [[Anna McLerran]] that Mormons typically don't date non-Mormons.

[[Angelica]] is a [[Wikipedia:Catholic Church|Roman Catholic]], raised by [[Wikipedia:Nun#Catholic|nuns]]. However, she is still a huge slut without any opposition to premarital sex.

===Judaism===
"[[A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story]]" reveals that Chris has some awareness of [[Wikipedia:Judaism|Judaism]], probably picked up from watching ''[[South Park]]''. He appears to not understand that Jews and [[Wikipedia:Buddhism|Buddhists]] don't celebrate [[Christmas]], at least not the religious aspects of it. However, in the way he wrote it, it is unknown if he's implying that Christians, [[Hanukkah|Jews]] and [[Christmas#Jolly Buddah (sic)|Buddhists]] go to the same place of worship, or if he's saying they go to separate places of worship and calls them "churches" because his vocabulary is heavily lacking.<ref>In fact, in [[BlueSpike Skype Logs 13#09-02-27|one chat]] Chris has referred to what was most likely a synagogue as a "Jewich Church".</ref> In [[Michael Snyder is ColdHearted and Mean]], Chris is being blatantly anti-Semitic by "just throwing it out there" that he thinks Snyder is Jewish, and uses "Jew" as an insult (which he also got from ''South Park''). [[Some Favored Comedians]] is a thinly-veiled furious backpedaling attempt in which he rambles on and on about how he respects Jewish comedians like [[Seinfeld|Jerry Seinfeld]].

===Islam===
In a CWCipedia [[Chris-Chan_(CWCipedia)#Chris-Chan_the_Moralf.2A.2A|article]], he strongly hints at feeling great hatred towards Muslims. Although the article primarily exists to deny various accusations trolls have made about him, he does not deny being a "prolific hater of all things not Christian".<ref>[[Chris-Chan (CWCipedia)]]</ref>

===Scientology===
On 28 [[December 2009]], Chris wrote a blog entry telling [[Jack Thaddeus]] to get out of the closet and "Go Into F***ing Scientology".<ref>[[CWC Blog]]</ref> Following this comment Chris was asked to elaborate his thoughts on Scientology; he said that he neither agrees with it nor disapproves of it.<ref>[[Mailbag 52#Master of diplomacy at work|Mailbag 52]]</ref>

===Atheism===
[[Vivian Gee]]'s belief in [[Wikipedia:Taoism|Taoism]], a non-theistic religion, seemed to be a concept he couldn't process.<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref>

He doesn't think much of atheists, but even there Chris has a hard time articulating his opinion. When Vivian asked him to explain why he dislikes them, he said, "I don't know, but I do know that they are not believers of God and Jesus."<ref>[[Vivitheg's AIM chat]]</ref> It's even harder for atheists to try and take [[GodJesus]] seriously enough to believe in them when Chris goes around boasting about having the deities on his side as though they were his personal avengers. When asked "You often attempt to scare your [[troll]]s by stating they will go to hell. Some of your trolls do not believe in hell, what do you have to say to them?" by [[Thorg]] in [[Common_Questions#09_January_2010|Common Questions 9 Jan 2010]], his response was:

{{quote|Firstly, it is NOT a "scare tactic", [[Chris and reality|IT IS FACT]]. And second, I say "Well, Believe it or not. You are Not Dead Yet".}}

While it might hurt your brain trying to translate that second line from autism to English, Chris is trying to say that Hell exists but we haven't experienced it yet because we're still alive. In the [[List of OkCupid Answers|OkCupid]] answers, Chris stated that he would not date an atheist. On the other hand, [[The Wallflower]] told Chris in one of her e-mails that she had no religion,<ref>[[Wallflower E-mails]]</ref> which would most likely classify her as either an atheist or an agnostic. As the rest of the correspondence shows, Chris was not bothered by her lack of faith and [["Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!|continued to pursue her]].

In [[Calling Out]] videos, Chris gives "pizza-faced atheist" as [[Thorg]]'s defining characteristic, with a heretofore unseen vitriol. Then in a later video, he attacks atheism with arguments so silly that even a straw man fundamentalist wouldn't use them, and that's saying something.

{{quote|But... I would certainly not want to be an atheist, 'cause if I don't have [[GodJesus|God or Jesus]] at my- by my side, I would be more lost than I was considerably beforehand! Atheists are the [[Beel|Devil]]'s spawning, as it would seem! ...And I would certainly would not want to be amrong- amongst them when they are run out of town with the pitchforks and the [[Chris and English|hace]] and the fire! As a believer... I would either be a [[Chris and Anger|peacem- I would more likely be a peacemaker]], but I certainly wouldn't mind being one with the pitchfork, following the crowd and pushing the atheist out of town!}}

When Chris [[Exposed - Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada‎|exposed Thorg]], his reasoning for wanting people to troll Thorg instead of him devolve from "because he's trolling me" to "because he's an 'evil' atheist". The video was removed because it was declared hate speech.

Chris's half-brother [[Cole Smithey]] is also an atheist.<ref>[[Cole Smithey E-mails]]</ref>

==Sources==
<references/>

==See also==
*[[Angelica Rosechu]]
*[[Dreams]]
*[[Christmas]]
*[[Christian's name change|GodBear]]
*[[Grace Baptist Church]]
*[[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]

==External links==
*[http://store.engrish.com/products/god-jesus-t-shirt Buy your own GodJesus T-shirt here]
{{Not_Jerks}}
{{Chris and}}

12 October 2009

2014-06-09T11:41:22Z

Nightslash3535: /* Video */

{{quote|RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGH!}}

"'''12 October 2009'''" (officially "'''10122009'''") is a video in which [[Chris]] shows [[Gregg Mays]]<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xGMJX84qoo The Gregg Mays YouTube video that prompted the rage]</ref> his [[autism|power]]. A more apt description is that he throws a temper tantrum in what is quite possibly his greatest display of [[Chris and anger|Tard Rage]]. Because of this, the video is also referred to as "Chris Loses It".

==Video==

{{Tardrage}}
{{Infobox/video
| name = 10122009
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ILq5DVl7g6o}}
| stardate = 12 [[October 2009]]
| subject = {{Power|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}} {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{DarkRedShirt|text}}
| previous = [[Challenge for Clyde]]
| next = [[Challenge for Clyde II]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

0:01 to 0:05-
Chris starts the video by screaming randomly, jumping up and down.

0:05 to 0:11-
Chris screeches like a cat, before rolling over like a retard, making a whooping noise like The Three Stooges, and crashing to the ground with a thud. Meanwhile, we get a nice view of his [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|underwear and asscrack]].

0:11: to 0:16-
Chris gets up.

0:16 to 0:29-
Chris rages randomly again, this time failing to break a cardboard box over his head. Afterwards he tries to kick a piece of what appears to be cardboard covered in blue cloth. He bends it after the third attempt.

0:29 to 0:34-
Chris steps on his couch and then growls at the [[camera]].

0:34 to 0:45-
Chris manages to actually tear the cardboard box in half and flings it at the ground. He picks up one of the pieces again and sissy throws it at the camera, missing entirely.

0:45 to 0:53-
Chris quiets down for a bit to [[Chris and health|catch his breath after less than a minute of very light exercise]], quietly raging at the camera.

0:53 to 1:02-
Chris swivels his chair, moves some stuff out of the way, stands on the chair, and falls over while growling.

1:02 to 1:13-
Chris flails about randomly, pulling up his pants every few moments.

1:14 to 1:22-
Chris picks up a phone (that didn't ring) and answers, "Hello? Yes, hello? Is this uh [[Wes Iseli|Walter Grisby]]? [[Random-access humor|Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what?"]] '''RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!'''

1:22 to 1:27-
Chris throws the phone like a [[Homos|homo]] at the camera. It falls over. Chris moves it to turn it off.

==Fan videos==

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Dance Chris-Chan Dance
| video = {{#ev:youtube|bSisIiepVCQ}}
| stardate = 13 [[October 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/drfaust8 unosan]
| subject =
| type = Party Hard Rave
| info = }}

{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name = Chris Gets a Call from Walter Grisby
| video = {{#ev:youtube|SK2IP21R50Q}}
| stardate = 08 [[November 2009]]
| maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/manwithoutabody manwithoutabody]
| subject =
| type =
| info = This is how Chris treats [[white knight]]s.
}}

==References==
<references />

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Challenge for Clyde]]|nextlink=[[Challenge for Clyde II]]|}}
{{Troll Videos}}
{{Clyde Saga}}

[[Category:Videos with RAGE]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2009| 2009-10-12]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga videos| 2009-10-12]]

100 2267

2014-05-29T08:22:26Z

Nightslash3535: /* Transcript */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris attempts to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by doing an overblown impression of him. He dresses up in <s>[[black]]</s> fuckin' orangeface, and tries to copy Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back. The theme suddenly changes when Chris starts to rambling about how he deserves to die.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vWJ9ZyEMoKE}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

{{quote|Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with [[Christian Weston Chandler|"I GOT WHAT I DESERVE"]] on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the [[internet]] and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] ''[voice begins to break]'' who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum [[Lie|rumors]] all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Speech impediment|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]'' Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Chris and death|Kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a]] [[Chris and religion|spawn of Satan anymore!]] [[Autism|Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}]]

==See also==
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]
*[[Don't Mess With Me]], a previous video where Chris acts as Clyde Cash

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07]]

100 2267

2014-05-29T08:16:27Z

Nightslash3535: /* Transcript */

[[Image:CWCash.jpg|thumb|Quality cosplaying is so overrated.]]

'''100 2267''' is one of three videos [[Chris]] uploaded on 7 [[October 2010]]. In this video, Chris attempts to insult [[Clyde Cash]] by doing an overblown impression of him. He dresses up in <s>[[black]]</s> fuckin' orangeface, and tries to copy Clyde's characteristic hairstyle by slicking his [[hair]] back. The theme suddenly changes when Chris starts to rambling about how he deserves to die.
{{-}}
==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = 100 2267
| video = {{#ev:youtube|vWJ9ZyEMoKE}}
| stardate = 7 [[October 2010]]
| subject = {{Trollsicon|text}}, {{Rumors|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}, {{Rage|text}}
| saga = {{Clyde|text}}
| shirt = {{PityShirt|text}}
| previous = [[100 2266]]
| next = [[100 2269]]
}}

{{quote|Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a spawn of Satan anymore! Aaaaah!}}

=== Transcript ===
''[Off camera]''-eep.

''[Jumps into view, face covered in brown paint and wearing a white t-shirt with [[Christian Weston Chandler|"I GOT WHAT I DESERVE"]] on it]''

''[Strange, relatively low-pitched voice]'' Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the [[internet]] and the internet trolls. I am an [[Chris and hypocrisy|adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot]] ''[voice begins to break]'' who spends his time wallowing and trolling [[Chris and his Ego|the one]] [[Liquid Chris|Christian Weston Chandler]], and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet! ''[Raises arms angrily]'' I am a phenomenon! And you know what, I am a [[Speech impediment|spawn of spatan]] so I got what I deserve! Nothing! Nothing very good, nothing good, nothing decent, I have no... sense of pride for myself, because I got everything handed to me on a [[Monthly Tugboat|silver platter]], I [[Rape|raped]] his [[PandaHalo|Australian girlfriend]]! And then married her! And now I have a [[4-cent garbage|one cent daughter]]. I am AN IDIOT!!

''[Voice changes suddenly, gets harsher]'' Rule over me, watch over me! Seriously, take me down! I want you to kill me, Clyde Cash! [[Chris and death|Kill me now! Kill me now, I don't want to live this life of being a]] [[Chris and religion|spawn of Satan anymore!]] [[Autism|Aaaaah!]]
{{-}}]]

==See also==
*[[100 2270|Chris as Alec Benson Leary and Liquid]]
*[[Don't Mess With Me]], a previous video where Chris acts as Clyde Cash

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[100 2266]]|nextlink=[[100 2269]]}}

{{Cosplay videos}}
{{Troll Videos}}

[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]

[[Category:Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos, October 2010| 2010-10-07]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos| 2010-10-07]]

Story of My Current Days

2014-05-27T15:07:47Z

Nightslash3535:

'''"Story of My Current Days"''' is an account of [[Chris]]'s [[Love Quest]] first written in his ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' diary in October [[2004]]. On 31 March [[2005]], Chris updated and renamed it '''Story of My Love Quest Days'''. On 14 August [[2006]], he updated it again, changed the name back to "Story of My Current Days," and expanded it with additional material describing his relationships with [[Hanna]] and [[Megan Schroeder]].

Chris announced on 22 [[October 2009]] that it is "To be MAJORLY UPDATED with most current events; NOT ALL OPINIONS expressed in the story are [[Chris and English|can]][[Honor Roll|non]] to current opinions and views." Normally, "[[Wikipedia:Canon (fiction)|canon]]" only refers to the continuity of a work of fiction, and not to reality, but then, [[Chris and reality|it's hard to sort those two out when you're dealing with Chris.]]

==Story of my current days==

<blockquote>
<hr>

Story of My Current Days

By. Christian W. Chandler.

October 18, [[2004]]

Updated: August 14, [[2006]]

[[Honor Roll|Four Score and over Three Years Ago]], I, [[Christian Weston Chandler]], have been currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad [[Stress|Depression]]. This is due to the following conditions:

# I am a [[virgin with rage|Frustrated Virgin]]
# I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].
# I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some [[JERK]] (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]), which I've dubbed the fear, [[Noviophobia]], after the [[Spanish]] word for "Boyfriend."

Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician [[Jerk]], [[Wes Iseli]]. At first, I was [[Naïve|naive]] about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of [[2003]], I tried to pick up a girl in a class I was taking at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], but she told me right-off, that [[So Need a Cute Girl|SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND!]] And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a [[BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl]], by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say Hi to any girl, so I made [[Attraction Sign|a simple sign]] that stated, "I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." I had the sign placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some [[Trolls|Bullies]] (Men and [[Mary Lee Walsh|Old Woman]]) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much [[comeuppance|saltier]] now. So that female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], tore up my sign; it [[heart level|SHATTERED my heart]]. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from [[Piedmont Virginia Community College|PVCC]], for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the [[Jerkop|JERKOPS]] of the [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the [[University of Virginia]] (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my [[Love Quest]] (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with [[So Need a Cute Girl|my own song lyric]]:

{{quote|Tell me why, I'm stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage.<br/>
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.<br/>
Tell me why, I ain't ever wanna hear you say,<br/>
"I HAVE A BOYFRIEND."}}

As for [[Wes Iseli|Wes]], I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken [[Sarah Hammer|my life-long friend]] away from me, [[Naive|I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today]]. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!

Since, October, [[2004]], I've learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of [[autism|mental condition]], or that I was seeking a girl, only for [[Chris and sex|Hanky-Panky]]. Of which is [[Honest Content|not true at all]]; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for [[lies|LOVE and TRUST]]! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an [[Attraction Location]]. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me.

Also, I've learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was [[William Spicer|William]]). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.

I've also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: [[The Tale Of The Crazy Pacer|pacing back-and-forth]] while watching a GBAVideo on either my [[Nintendo|Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS]]. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their [[religion]]. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing random [[Music|songs]] from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, [[2005]] issue of [[NP magazine|Nintendo Power magazine]], but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.

One day in March, [[2005]], I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my [[Sonichu Scrapbook]], and I've brought up some courage to start saying "Hello" to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free.

Earlier this week, [[Hanna|a girl]], who shall remain nameless in this story, finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and [[Heart level|my SHATTERED Heart]] had a speedy recovery back to 100% We had a nice "Mini-Date," I maintained [[The Creepy Stare|Eye-Contact]], I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. J But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of [[Gal-Pals]], that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% tact.

Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58% I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!

Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I'm feeling much, much luckier now!

Mid-May, [[2006]], "I re-write this story from the inspiration I get from a very special someone who I've been Thinkin' About a sweet deal, and kept her close to my heart.

After starting at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] in [[2000|Y2K]], I've lied a somewhat neutral, care-free life as I did my school work, play my video games, and anything creative I felt like doing. A bunch of times, I've played Sonic Booms with [[Sonic the Hedgehog|da hedgehog]], as well as my [[Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon]], [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]]. My Mind was Freed Up, yet I didn't have many friends or acquaintances. During the Summer of [[2003|Y2K3]], I've made a few attempts to get a Girlfriend; sadly, EVERY GIRL I TALKED TO already had a... BOYFRIEND (LOUSY, LUCKY JERKS! TAKING ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS, LEAVING ME WITH NONE TO CHOOSE FROM)!

Given that I So Needed a Cute Girl who was Boyfriend-Free, I didn't want just any B.F.-Free Girl, I wanted one who had a strong will, a sweet caring attitude and at least somewhat pretty; a real Super Girl. Some people said I was too picky, but that was only their opinions; not mine. I'm bound for a click similar to that between [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|the Dark Magician and his Girl]].

So, as of August, Y2K3, I did the most logical, sensible and inexpensive idea I could think of, I made [[Attraction Sign|a simple sign]] that stated, "I am a 21-year old and Single Male Seeking and 18-21-year old SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION", along with a basic description of qualities I felt were best suited, due to the fact that it describe MOST every Boyfriend-Free, 18-21year old Girl. Sadly though, not a single one even gave me a glanced, a momentary pause or even an excuse-making throat clearing to read the sign or give me the time of day. And the few who noticed... That EVIL WITCH OF THE [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|PrivateVilla of Corrupted Citizens]], [[Mary Lee Walsh]], a bunch of [[Jerkop|Non-Blue or Black impersonating JERKOPS]], [[Manajerk]]s and every other (only a few total) son/daughter of a #&*.. MOCKED ME AND EVEN CRUMBLED MY EFFORTS AND THREW THEM INTO MY FACE! IT WAS SERIOUS HEART-SHATTERING INSULTS LIKE THAT WHICH LITERALLY SHATTERED MY HEART TO ALMOST NOTHING AND MURDERED MY SOUL! Like as if I didn't already understand that Love Can't be Hurried; but they ALL left a HUGE IMPRESSION among the general population that having a Sweetheart was ILLEGAL IN [[Virginia|VIRGINIA]] thus, [[Virginia is for Virgins|"VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS, NOT LOVERS!"]] was what I had thought for a long time with the Dark Forces that were forced into me, bedding with my torturing past with the jerks of the [[Greene County Conspiracy|Greene County School System]] during the childhood years of my life. Thank God for blessing me with many happy years at [[Providence Middle School]] and [[Manchester High School]] in Chesterfield; rounding my feelings and attitude out for today.

For days to weeks to months to years, I Felt So Lonesome and Incomplete. But I didn't [[Wikipedia:Stop! In the Name of Love|STOP! In the name of Love]], and the fact that there had to be a Boyfriend-Free Girl out there, somewhere, for me to get to know, grow a strong companionship with and make into a [[Sweetheart from the Ground-Up]], so in later years, after the inevitability of my parents leaving me, I WON'T BE ALONE. And I can eventually realize my dream of being a good husband, and father of a pretty girl named [[Crystal Weston Chandler (daughter)|Crystal]].

Eventually, light a magical lighthouse that randomly shone its healing guiding light upon my previously Shattered Heart and tortured Soul, and mended them back to good shape and form, [[Megan Schroeder|one girl]] walked into my life, like [[Sailor Megtune|z Sailor Soldier]] having just vanquished a heart-snatcher. Bit by bit, I've noticed her shining lustrous hair, here shiny Blue [[Sonic|Chaos Emerald]]-like Eyes, and a personality strong, caring and true like a Buttercup bloom. I followed [[Heart level|my recovered heart]]'s instincts and Followed Her. As I got to know her over the months to over a year, my heart was growing stronger as I was falling for her. I blushed more Strawberry Pink than I have ever before; everything around me was shining like [[Yellow is a Mellow Color|the sun's Mellow Color, Yellow]]. Ah, For Her I Would travel even A Thousand Miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was, and still is, so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her. When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give my replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten.

Yet, one can't stay on such sweet passionate feelings without a few speed bumps in the road of life. Even though I didn't mean to give the impression that I was being forceful; for heaven's sake I wouldn't ever dare to force her to do anything she didn't want to, but she reminds me times that she isn't ready for Love beyond Friendship. I have no feelings against her wish, and I respect her decisions and feelings. Oh, but even though she Doesn't Say it, or return it, I Love Her, and no matter what, those feelings wills stand strong as time itself. And Sometimes I would want to touch her shoulder or back, feel her hair or give her a hug. I hold those urges back, because I care about her. And to keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, [[Mass debating|I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself]]. I Won't Hang Up on what can develop into the True Thing, because I don't just Think, I know that I Love Her. My Love for her is So Pure and true, that not even Every One Love Song can spell it out as well as I am writing it now.

Every once in a while, I take a look into my Mirror Mirror of life, check the things I've seen and heard of. I've seen the [[Wikipedia:Jet City Woman|Jet City Women]], and frankly I'm not thrilled. I can't help but feel sorry for them; True Love is Priceless and rarely street-found. [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force]] is fun to watch, because it's so stupid, it's funny, as well as some of the Non-[[Anime]] programs on [[Adult Swim]]; lucky there's a [[Family Guy]]. I'm happy that I am no longer in the Heart-Shattered, Tired Soul Times; I was often so depressed, I could have been a Sofa King. So many stupid Ways I Wanted; I don't have to care too much about those paths now, but back then, sometimes I Couldn't Sleep so bad, I could have Bounced Off the Ceiling. Reflecting on those past Things Makes Me Go Hmm...

I always come to the conclusion that my future is solid now that my Me Plus One has a gelatinous conclusion. The Answer is the girl in the uniform that I've grown to Love.

While I do have deep scarlet desires for the eventual Party For Two en [[La Cocina en La Casa de Casanova|La Cocina en La Casa de Casa-No-Duh]] (basically the [[Kitchen]] in [[14 Branchland Court|my House]]), I am in no rush for a kiss on Rainbow Road; I can wait for the longest time; except when it comes to my stomach or bladder or course. I am capable of showing her a good time with a nice dinner for two at [[McDonald's|a nice restaurant]], taking her to a movie or even a moonlit (or sunlit) rendezvous at the park; most whatever her heart desires. As long as I am Together With Her, especially in all of the neutral social locations, I am happy. J

The first time I see her smiling face on any day, it's like seeing the Morning Moon, shining with radiance. The only thing that keeps us limited to once a week is our respective Signals in the Sky. Each time I leave her, I hope I've left her with a smile and a warm feeling in her heart, as I do. It's In My Impressions, as well as what happens that day. No one can come close to her, because to me she is The Most Beautiful, and Caring Girl in the World.

Good Night, Good Morrow, for now I walk from the End of our time together; I will always look forward to our next Staff Party For Two. Is the Love between us truly a Destiny or a Warp-Pipe Dream; Our [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Stars]] will guide us. In the meantime, I can enjoy the two of us E-Mailing to Each-Other's Hearts.

<center>There is no Fin; We're still Living."</center>

Yet, there was a Finish; she had a Boy-Crush in the Military; Seriously Killed that Romantic mood. So, now After August 3, [[2006]]...it's been THREE LONG YEARS, and I still Do Not have a Sweetheart (or even [[Sweetheart from the ground up|a girlfriend to build up into one]]).

So, given that Summer is almost finished, although I've graduated from PVCC, I will be hanging out at the [[University of Virginia]]'s Alderman Library on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, hoping to be found by a Boyfriend-Free, 18-(my current age)-year old, caring, [[Tobacky|smoke-free]], [[Alcohol|non-alcoholic]] [[Chris and race|white]] girl who would pick me among all others as the Unsold Special Fish in the lonely Sea of Life.

I can also be found at The End game center and [[The GAMe PLACe|the Game & Hobby Place]] on Wednesdays and Fridays/Saturdays (respectively) (look under Interests for times).

<center>Pretty Girl in the wait, please come find me for a soda and conversational date.</center>

<hr>
</blockquote>

==Story of my Love Quest days==

By. Christian W. Chandler.

October 18, [[2004]]

Updated: March 31, [[2005]]

I, Christian Weston Chandler, am currently experiencing my own Lonesome and Sad Depression. This is due to the following conditions:

1. I am [[Virgin with rage|a Frustrated Virgin]]
2. I need a pretty 18-(my current age)-year old, [[Boyfriend-Free Girl]].
3. I am very shy in approaching the girls, for I FEAR that they are all already paired up with some [[JERK]] (a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, [[Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr.]]), which I’ve dubbed the fear, “[[Noviophobia]],” after the [[Spanish]] word for… “Boyfriend.”

Where did it start? I started when my life-long friend, [[Sarah Hammer]], a very pretty girl, was taken away from me by this Magician Jerk, [[Wes Iseli]]. At first, I was [[naïve]] about their relationship. Later on, in Spring of [[2003]], I tried to “pick up” a girl in a class I was taking at [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]], but she told me right-off, that [[So Need a Cute Girl|SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND]]! And it was like that with every other girl who I talked to since then. Thus, I developed my Noviophobia (mentioned above). Since my fear-development, I realized that I needed to attract a BOYFRIEND-FREE Girl, by any means necessary, with limited resources. I was afraid to even say “Hi” to any girl, so I made a simple sign that stated, “I am a (my age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(my age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion.” I had [[Attraction Sign|the sign]] placed next to me, with an arrow pointing at me, and of course, I stood, or sat, next to the sign. Not only was I not able to attract any girls, but some “[[Trolls|Bullies]]” (Male and Female) did not approve my method of attraction. Also, I feel that they perceived me as a sweet, weak person, which I was then, but I am much, much saltier now. So that female dog, [[Mary Lee Walsh]], tore up my sign; [[Heart level|it SHATTERED my heart]]. But I kept on trying to attract, in the name of LOVE and TRUST! This brings us to today. Recently, I was suspended from PVCC, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl. Then I got HANDCUFFED by the [[Jerkops|JERKOPS]] of the [[Fashion Square Shopping Center]], and kicked out, for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl (I did not go to Jail). And I am currently still trying to attract a BF-Free Girl, without a sign, at the campus of the University of Virginia (of which I am not enrolled in). Though I do park in a in a garage, and I pay for the time I use in my Love Quest (which I am having much LESS success there). So, I ask you, with my own song lyric:

“Tell me why, I’m stuck in a Sad, Lonely Cage.
Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age.
Tell me why, I ain’t ever wanna hear you say,
‘I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.’”

As for [[Wes Iseli|Wes]], I blame all of these happenings on him. If he had not taken my life-long friend away from me, I might have a Pretty Girlfriend today. And I would not have had to set out on endeavoring LOVE QUEST!

*As of October 18, [[2004]] to today, March 31, [[2005]]*

Since, October 18, I’ve learned new, disturbing things. Like that having the sign next to, on or around me, represents, in a Body-Language way, shows that I may have some sort of mental condition, or that I was seeking a girl, only for [[Chris and sex|Hanky-Panky]]. Of which is not true at all; I need a Girlfriend, Solely for LOVE and TRUST! Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an Attraction Location. I realized that I have no problem conversing with girls (as in Instant Message), but to approach a girl is much, much tougher for me.

Also, I’ve learned from Wes that Sarah left him, and got herself paired up with another JERK (of which I later learned that his name was [[William Spicer|William]]). And I am not sure how to get in touch with her now.

I’ve also figured out some NEW methods of attraction: [[The Tale of the Crazy Pacer|pacing back-and-forth]] while watching a GBAVideo on either [[Nintendo|my Game Boy Advance SP or my Nintendo DS]]. I did manage to catch the attention of some girls, but they were all already paired-up with a JERK, or otherwise were updatable, due to their [[religion]]. But I did get a hug or two. I also started singing [[Chris and music|random songs]] from memory now and then. It was not as successful as the GBAVideo. I also started listening to my GBAJukebox MP3 Player and sang along when I felt like it (I had the GBAJukebox inserted into my Nintendo DS, that had a removable, more appropriate sign attached to it, in my hand). Also, I did manage to get a FREE Personal Ad in the April, 2005 issue of [[Nintendo Power]] magazine, but who really reads the personals anyway? I also displayed my best artwork in either my hand, or next to me; still not many reactions.

Now, we are brought to March 31, 2005: I now go to Fashion Square, on Tuesdays, Thursday s, and Saturdays, with my Nintendo DS, GBAVideos, GBAJukebox, my Sonichu Scrapbook, and I’ve brought up some courage to start saying “Hello” to the girls I find very pretty, and possibly Boyfriend-Free.

Earlier this week, [[Hanna|a girl, who shall remain nameless in this story]], finally noticed and approached me. I was hoping for a moment like this. And she asked me to have a beverage with her and talk about things. I was very ESTATIC, and [[Heart level|my SHATTERED Heart]] had a speedy recovery back to 100%! We had a nice “Mini-Date,” I maintained [[the Creepy Stare|Eye-Contact]], I was very attentive, and I took notes about her. I thought she was very pretty, I enjoyed her charming wit, and I found her to be a very nice and lovely girl. But, later on, as I was figuring out steps for future dates, I learned from a couple of [[Gal-Pals]], that I have previously made at the Shopping Center, that my new girlfriend was not serious; she was setting me up for a prank. I could not believe it at first, so I found and asked her myself. Unfortunately it was true. I was shocked, and my heart was re-shattered down to being 15% in tact.

Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time. But it was a blessing in disguise; after I had eventually recovered, my heart was on a major repair rise, all the way back up to 58%! I figured that during my major depression, my soul was resting and healing itself, and when it woke up, I arose with much excitement as well!

Yet, I still am Girlfriend-Free, but I now have a new attitude, courage and methods of attraction. Also, I’m feeling much, much luckier now!

{{CWCipedia|chris=Story_of_My_Love_Quest_Days}}
{{Clear}}
== Sources ==
<references/>

==Links==

*[http://archives.neohapsis.com/archives/fulldisclosure/2007-11/0104.html full text also available here]

{{Writings}}

[[Category:Historical Documents]]
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