CWCki - User contributions [en]

Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes

2021-05-22T15:25:29Z

NotSp00ks:

{{quote|a very important moment|Chris, 26 years later.<ref>[[July 2019 social media posts#Remembering The Sweepstakes]]</ref>}}

[[File:NoPhotoCop.jpg|thumb|Chris and Bob picking up the shopping spree award.]]

The '''Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes''' was a contest held in [[1990s#1993|1993]] to promote the first ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' cartoon, the syndicated ''{{w|Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog}}''.

The contest's grand prize — a $1,000 {{w|KB Toys|Kay-Bee Toys}} shopping spree — was awarded to two lucky winners, one of whom happened to be [[Chris]]; the other winner of the contest was a six-year-old girl from California, who decided to split her prize money with her classmates instead. A [[Niggos|Martha Tyrone]] from New York claimed to have entered the contest when she was four or five and heard from a friend of her neighbor's that Chris had won; she proceeded to be jealous of him. This seminal event marks both the high point of Chris's life and the first hint of his future decline into the manchild we know and troll today. The segment below was from the ''{{w|Dateline NBC|Dateline News}}'' program on [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] NBC affiliate {{w|WVIR}}, and was Chris's ''first'' televised appearance. The segment on Chris's DVD is partially seen twice, as it was repeated and re-recorded on a later edition of the same newscast.

The video shows several revealing things, namely that Chris's verbal skills and fashion sense have not improved since he was twelve. In fact, the only thing that has visibly changed is his [[Chris and his ego|sense of entitlement]]. Chris's [[autism]] is also very evident just from the segment, seeing as his eye contact is very inconsistent as he speaks.

The anchors are visibly impressed by Chris supposedly mastering video games, this claim likely came from [[Bob]] who wouldn't have an inkling of what mastering a video game looks like.

Ever since winning the Sweepstakes, [[Chris and contests|Chris has entered several other contests]], expecting to win through the sheer power of his autism.

Of the games Chris bought, only three are known:
*''Batman Returns'' ($49.99)
*''[[Sonic]] Spinball'' ($49.99)
*"Star Trek" (probably ''Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echoes from the Past'') ($12.99)

Chris is also seen pulling an original "[[Power Rangers]] Megazord" (est. $29.99) out of a bag at the end of the video.

==Commercial==
<center>{{#ev:youtube|KMyI6ZnLj3o}}</center>

==Video==
{{Infobox/video
| name = Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes
| video = {{#ev:youtube|yGlFUf9ZEcM}}
| stardate = 26 [[1990s#1994|February 1994]]
| maker = NBC's WVVIR
| subject = {{Television|text}} {{Video games|text}}
| style = {{Reason|[[Chris and contests|The Humble Genesis of a Lolcow Legend]]}}
| shirt = {{RainbowBoy|text}}
| other = {{Leaked|[[Christian Weston Chandler...Yep, I'm on TV :)|Leaked]]}}
| previous = n/a
| next = [[Song of Christian#Part 1|Song of Christian]]
}}

=== Transcript ===

'''Anchorwoman:''' Well, we've got a little more for ya, including what Sonic the Hedgehog means to a very special [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]] boy. And the significance goes ''way'' beyond the high score and [[List of videos|videos]].

[''One clip cuts out and another begins.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' Finally, tonight, Sonic the Hedgehog is running ''[[wild]]ly'' in [[Chris's_homes#Cloverleaf_Lakes_Apartments|the Chandler household]] this weekend. 12-year-old Christian Chandler of Charlottesville was the winner in [[monthly tugboat|a video game shopping spree]]. Christian is one of only about a hundred winners nationally to receive [[Chris and money|''$1,000'']] worth of Sega games and equipment. For his parents, it’s just another example of how well he's doing. Christian is a high-functioning autistic child. This past fall, of his own initiative, he entered a contest based on a favorite cartoon character.

'''Cashier:''' [''quiet''] $980.8...

'''Chris:''' ...I had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and [[speech impediment|risten]] to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writin' it down for [[Time Void|a whole week]]. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for him to master an electronic game and then...''move onto another!''

'''Co-anchor:''' Unbelievable...

'''Anchorwoman:''' I can't master any of ’em! That's it for ''now'', and it’s just...comin’ up on the NBA basketball game at 5:30. It’s not 6:30; it’s 5:30. We'll see you back here at 11:00. Thanks for watching.

'''Co-anchor:''' Good night.

'''[[Niggos|Black]] Anchorman:''' Buh-bye.

[''An NBC Dateline News notice appears before the clip cuts out, making a weird "hweeur" noise, followed by a repeat of part of the report.'']

'''Anchorwoman:''' —winners nationally to receive ''$1,000'' worth of Sega video games and equipment. Christian ''is'' autistic, but he's entering the contest completely of his own accord was a sign to his parents of how well he is getting along.

'''Cashier:''' [''quiet''] $980.8...

'''Chris:''' ...I had to do was exactly...watch ''Sonic the Hedgehog''...uh, ''cartoon''...an—and risten to what Sonic says at the ''end'' of it…and writin' it down for a whole week. And then, I had to mail it in, and I had to be drawn out of a hat, and I just won!

'''Anchorwoman:''' And [[Bob Chandler|Christian's father]] says it only takes a few hours for the boy to master one of the electronic games before he moves onto another one.

==See also==
* [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown]]
* [[GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes]]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=n/a|nextlink=[[Song of Christian]]|}}
{{CWC on TV}}

[[Category:Contests]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Videos Christian uploaded to YouTube]]
[[Category:Media that has been published in real life]]
[[Category:Chris-chan videos before 2007| 1994-02-26]]

Cakefarts

2021-05-21T20:54:33Z

NotSp00ks:

{{taxpayermoney}}
{{Honest}}

{{quote|my biggest regret.|Chris, on Cakefarts<ref>[[Internet Dream Lounge]]</ref>}}

'''Cakefarts''' (leaked as ''fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]'') is a video made on 18 [[July 2011]] and leaked on 25 [[February 2012]] in which Chris sits his naked ass on a [[Chris and money|$9]] [[Obesity|chocolate cake]] for [[Jackie]]'s amusement. While it can not be seen on the censored version, there is already a piece (a little less than a fourth) of the cake taken out, meaning that either Chris (or Barb) had eaten some of this cake before its untimely end. It was inspired by the Cakefarts shock site, and this video implies that he's turned on by it.

Because both links to the video are dead, this is one of Chris's rarest videos. [[TheCWCvilleLibrary]] uploaded the video without visuals (for obvious reasons), and the NSFW version can now only be found on the website Motherless. And it's for a good reason, as it is now considered to be quite possibly one of the grossest things that Chris has ever produced, and definitely one of his most wasteful (given that he spent his [[monthly tugboat]] just to fart on chocolate cake).

The "ass dance" is a [[Things Chris has ripped off|reference]] to the [[Adult Swim]] anime ''{{w|Crayon Shin-Chan}}'', which involves the titular character [[CWCFlyingElephants|pulling down his pants, showing his ass, and dancing around]].

Years after the video was shot/leaked, Chris talked about the video on the [[Planet Dolan]] [[Reddit|subreddit]] under the handle "SonichuChandler".

{{quotebox|
This happened to me less than a decade ago. I was being Trolled and CyberBullied, and during the time I was Online Dating (among which nearly ALL of my Online Dates were Immature, MALE, Internet Trolls pretending to be women). This Theoretical EX of mine requested that I record and perform, this thing called "Cake Farts", and say that it was "what I love the most". Ugh. So, I go to my local Wal-Mart, find and buy this lovely chocolate cake for $11; it also had chocolate candies on top of it. I take the cake home, I eat the candies, and I enjoyed a slice of the cake for myself. THEN, I hit record and sat bare-assed on the remaining 80% of the cake, on a plastic surface, and made fake fart noises with my mouth. Suffice to say the cake was now a smooshed mess, while I had the crumbs and whatnot on my behind. After cleaning the surface, and my behind, I took the smooshed up cake and disposed of it behind some bushes in my back yard. AND, obviously, I later learned that the "woman" who requested this deed was a Male Troll. That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a majorly royal waste.

Illustrate Danger Dolan doing this, please.

Also, do one episode of "Burning Questions" where Dolan has Lost his hat, can't find until after the last question, and even has Melissa read for one of the questions, "MonkiesInTheZ00 asks, "Where's My Hat?"", then after Dolan shouts about the hat, and Melissa groans then reads the actual question.

"Dolan always "Blows Your Mind with "Treeth"". "He's going to Blow My Mind with a Tree? What's up with that?" LOL.}}

Not long after the Reddit post, Chris would again refer to said event in his ''[[Internet Dream Lounge]]'' interview, when asked about his biggest regret.

==Video==

{{Infobox/video
| name = Cakefarts (audio only)
| video = {{#ev:youtube|xD_-udx58lo}}
| stardate = 18 [[July 2011]]
| subject = {{Sex|text}}
| style = {{Crazy|text}}
| saga = {{Jackie|text}} {{Tomgirl|text}}
| shirt = Blue tank top
| previous = [[Forgot the Glitter]]
| next = [[Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]
}}

{{quote|What the hell am I doing?|Chris, saying exactly what his viewers are thinking.}}

=== Transcript ===
Heeey, Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.

[''The camera is then turned towards a backwards view of the table. Chris proceeds to awkwardly finger the cake and scrape some of the frosting off, followed by licking his digit'']

Mmm. Let's get this done.

[''Chris jumpily positions himself over the cake, as the viewers get a quite fine view of his [[duck]] and butt. He has the words [[Random-access humor|"AWESOME SAUCE"]] written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the S's is the wrong way around, and there is a scribbled out attempt at writing the word awesome.'']

Awesome... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. [''begins twerking and flailing around in order to make his dick jiggle''] Ass dance! Ass dance! See me do the ass dance! Do wacka do! [[Random-access humor|Shake my funky monkey ass,]] give me beans I'll give you gas!

Let's do this.

[''Sits down on cake, rises up, then performs the act for which the video is named, in turn getting an erection'']

What the hell am I doing here? [''Finishes smearing ass with [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|chocolate cake]]; after more than a few seconds of seeing his ass and erect duck, he finally turns his face and body around to the camera''] What the hell am I doing? I paid nine American dollars for this cake. That's a lotta yen. [''To be precise, US$9 would be 711.99 yen on the date this video was filmed.''] Kawaii! Bye, Japan.

==External Links==
*[http://cdn4.videos.motherlessmedia.com/videos/9F6859A.mp4 Uncensored version] (NSFW)
*[https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=462004282/ The inspiration] (Also NSFW)
*[https://www.reddit.com/user/SonichuChandler The Reddit account Chris used to talk about the incident]

{{succession|label=[[List of videos|Chris's videos]]|prevlink=[[Forgot the Glitter]]|nextlink=[[Calling Out "Tito" - Don]]}}

{{Sweetheart Videos}}

[[Category:Leaked videos]]
[[Category:Jackie Saga videos]]
[[Category:Videos containing nudity]]
[[Category:Videos About or Featuring Farts]]